#Viccyyaps

[realvicoba]

It's so funny how this is Killua's first appearance cause WHO is this boy!?

They are NOT the same

[realvicoba]

REAL THOUGH. I feel like in general people think about Gon and Killua in a black and white way, which I get. Gon's design and his rage moment were meant to tear our expectations and show us a new side to our innocent shounen protagonist, and Killua's teary breakdown and his attempts at good is to, once again, tear expectations for his character archetype and show us his development.

But people get stuck there— these characters didn't completely change, they're not new people. Just because Gon discovered and showed a new side of him (one very heavily curated by deep pain and confusion) doesn't change the fact that he's a pure kid (which we're also shown in the Manga by the fact that he's literally doing homework and helping Mito with chores at home)

And Killua showing mercy to an enemy, trying to save innocent civilians, crying when he hurt his sisters, and doing everything in his power to save Gon doesn't automatically erase his years of assassinations, his maturity relative to others his age, or his darker side. It just shows that he's working on it and actively growing, not that he's completely turned into a new, super sensitive guy— just that he's more open with his emotions now, and has more strength in him to do good.

So, the entire thing is about growth. Two kids expressing new sides of themselves, brought on by difficult situations.

And honestly man I miss Retz. Everytime the movies mentioned I die.

A reason I added her to my giant novel of a fic was because I got tired of her just being there for some love triangle

Specifically this one tiktok I saw that made me shut off my phone and start grinding on google docs

Like no you don't get my girl (debatable) like I do. That's my silly lass. You don't get it...

And people are forgetting that she's also there to mirror Killua, not to challenge him. Having a manipulative older brother, struggling to find an identity, wanting a friend, wanting to live. In the end, she also did what Killua couldn't in the movie— kill her brother.

Except, she truly didn't have much else waiting for her. She was only a reanimated doll, not even the real Retz. I think it just went to show Killua that he does have a future.

But that's for the movie! We can make everyone happy in our headcanons ☺️🫶

Just wish Retz was loved a little more, her design is also adorable.

All these people out there calling Gon (a child) a monster for ever hurting Killua yet you never hear them comment on how tormenting Kurapika's silence must be to, not only Leorio, but to literally anybody who cares about him at all (principally Leorio though, just take a second to even imagine how terrified he must feel).

But like seriously, this fandom never changes. You guys cradle Killua like a newborn baby and tear apart anything that dares find itself in his way or push him to face his own feelings, even accidentally. You did the same thing with the Phantom Rouge movie and not only completely destroyed Retz, which could've been so fun to explore together as a community (and is one of the only girls (debatable) in the entire show) but also completely shat on how good the movie was just because you were too focused on insulting a dead child. Also, Killua character analyses are received so negatively compared to the other characters, because this fandom's all about interpretation until it comes to interpreting Killua's intentions because he's so kind and pure and perfect or whatever. So uninteresting, smh.

Ok I'm dropping the mic I just needed a minute to complain.

[realvicoba]

Is Gon dense?

Is he oblivious to Killua's emotions? Or does he simply not care?

Well 🤓☝️ let's talk about it!

Gon loves Killua a bunch, that is something we know because he says so. He's his first friend, the way Gon is Killua's first, and he's important enough to make Gon want to spend the rest of his life with him.

1) He says Killua's the only one for him (volleyball match)

2) that he's fun to be around (stargazing on whale island)

3) he is more confident and is able to be more selfish with him out of trust (volleyball match)

4) he's able to calm down when Killua touches him, like water to a flame (jajanken against morel)

5) he listens to Killua as much as possible, even while lost in vengeful anger (not killing Pitou instantly and choosing to wait, believing Killua's judgment despite his own thoughts on the matter)

Just a few little instances where we're shown how important Killua is to Gon, and how he proves so by his words and actions. He definitely loves him, and while I do think it's a pure love not yet categorized into romance— does that mean he's dense to what Killua feels?

Whether it is romantic or strictly platonic, Killua's feelings for his best friend run incredibly deep. It's a profound kind of love that makes him selfless and loyal, a kind of love that makes him willing to die alongside him— it's something that's difficult to process, let alone speak of. We spend a lot of time in his head, enough to figure out that Killua has to resort to metaphors and idioms to describe those feelings.

"Gon is light."

And he's willing to go down in flames with that light, as lovers.

And we're always led to believe that everyone can see the extent of those feelings but Gon himself— while we're shown that Gon's usually the first to notice the littlest details.

The first time we really see that well is in the volleyball match. After the first throw, Gon looks surprised when Killua holds the ball again and gets ready for a second punch. Gon is well aware that Killua's hurt, and wasn't planning to go for a second time due to the fact— until he saw the determination from his best friend who'd mentioned that he had nothing to be determined for months prior. It's unspoken, and even Killua hadn't noticed that Gon knew about his hands until he had voiced it out loud.

Gon is perceptive, and a lot more emotionally intelligent than we give him credit for— just not necessarily adept at processing some difficult emotions with maturity and grace. Still, he's able to tell and understand a lot about other people, especially his best friend.

Another time we see him notice something about Killua but not voice it immediately was right after the date with Palm. Killua carried him out, and he noticed a difference in demeanor and the small injury on his forehead, which he later brings up. Though in that case, Killua was more dismissive.

So with Gon having noticed those little details that Killua was making some efforts to hide, we can tell that he's not blind to subtle changes. And with how he'd gone along with him and opted to not bring it up instantly, we can tell that he's aware of Killua's more secretive nature when it comes to his feelings— it wouldn't be far fetched to say that Gon was able to tell that there are things Killua can't talk about, emotions he simply can't afford to share. It makes sense that Gon wants to give him that space, because he's not one to force discomfort onto loved ones (at least not intentionally).

So, is he dense and oblivious?

I don't think so! 🤓☝️

If anything, he's the opposite! Killua just puts effort into hiding and avoiding certain topics, and Gon simply respects him and doesn't want to pry into uncomfortable territory. He's waiting for when it's necessary, when he's asked, or when he just thinks is the right time to bring certain things up— which could either be never or whenever Killua himself is ready.

After all, he must be pretty aware of Killua's more cold exterior, being the one who carried a lot of the emotional load at the beginning of the series (befriending and comforting Canary and Gotoh in Killua's place, being a more active voice of kindness with Zushi, and accepting Bisky's help for the both of them when Killua was still hesitant)

So you can say that while Killua is there to protect and care for Gon (mostly) physically, Gon is the one caring for Killua emotionally. He just can't do it perfectly when the boy is so secretive, and he himself is still a preteen who went through something he wasn't equipped with handling at all. In a way, the CAA also highlighted Killua's codependence on the emotional regulation Gon has (at least when he's not being a bit too selfish), and put Killua on the spot with his own underdeveloped sense of emotions.

Ughhh they're so silly....

What do you guys think?

[realvicoba]

My views on Gon's rage scene!! 🤓🫶

Let's get this out of the way first— is Gon a selfish monster?

Let me show some nuance in his rage scene and tunnel vision onto Pitou, how he hurt Killua, and his threats on an innocent girl.

Even while filled with rage to the point of almost losing himself and dealing a killing blow to Morel at that phase of his life, he was still worried about Palm's safety and one of the first to realize the inherent danger Knuckle and Meleoron were in on that staircase and the possibility of Youpi not having an oppenent.

He still had the wit and the care for his comrades.

And when Knuckle came on screen while Gon was actively seething in front of Pitou, he still made an effort to let Knuckle know that Pouf was a liar.

So we saw two little scenes where Gon showed that despite his rage and goal, he still put time aside to help his comrades. In the middle of all the anger, all the guilt, and the bloodthirst— he didn't forget his bros.

We already know he did wrong things. Threatening Komugi was very shocking, but as I've mentioned in my Gon character study— it was a moment of anger, confused morals and desperation to keep the monster in control.

With that out the way, let's get to the main course... How he hurt Killua.

Killua wants to be relied on, no matter the cost. He wants this to be like the volleyball match where Gon could only rely on him regardless of how much pain it could cause Killua— he wants them to go down in flames together, a "lover's suicide" as the original Japanese text says.

He wants to be proven to once more that Gon needs him and no one else, that he can't go alone. Killua needs to feel important that way, he needs to feel worthwhile, that he can do something for his best friend to help him the way no one else can.

Gon going off on his own like that broke that source of comfort and self worth Killua had created in Gon needing him.

And if anything, I think it was very important for Killua's character.

It was incredibly important for Killua to be pushed away at that moment, to not be allowed to sacrifice himself, and in turn get the time to rethink what he needs and wants to do with his life and his views on friendship.

And having to clean up an impossible mess after him put into perspective just how important Killua is, and that's why he was so adament on being the one to save Gon.

It's honestly such an interesting scene— It's not like Killua suddenly did a 180, but something this severe and seeing Gon's immature side and flaws on display more had a huge hand in his character development.

That's Killua's side, what about Gon's? We know both of them love each other dearly, and while Killua wished to go down with him, Gon wanted to be the one to carry that burden. Alone.

"I killed him."

Even though Killua was there too, and blamed himself as well. Gon didn't consider him responsible at all despite him running away as well, and Killua saying so.

And Gon comforts Killua, and himself.

As much as Killua sees Gon as the light, Gon sees him as the voice of reason. His awesome, smart friend who does no wrong— both have each other on a pedestal.

Though blinded by confusion and rage during the fight, he undervalued Killua's judgment, but still listened enough to wait for Pitou to finish healing Komugi.

And I also believe Gon was saving up his rage for that moment.

It was his battle, because it's his fault. Killua has no business because not only did Kite not hold as much importance to him, but because he had no fault in the matter— Killua didn't need to sacrifice himself again.

So, while Killua was willing to die alongside his friend and carry the burden together, Gon wanted to be the only one sacrificing himself and carrying that burden. He said so in the Yorknew city arc, and he proved it in the CAA.

He loves Killua, and it even shows in his harsher and cruel words.

I hope this made sense 🙏

[realvicoba]

I talked about how different Killua looks over the course of the Manga

But I haven't shown you guys Gon 😭

Went from handsome young lad

To just a little guy

He got extra silly sometimes!

Like a sad little puppy!

Killua went from a beautiful young boy

To understanding the horrors of queerplatonic friendship

[realvicoba]

Everytime someone asks me who's stronger between Killua and Gon I start sweating

I.... I'm not sure.... I can't even imagine them seriously fighting....

I mean when they're just playing around Killua usually overpowers Gon??? He's slightly better at nen control??? But Gon has the better potential and higher power output????? But Killua has the experience and intelligence???? But?????? But?????

I just know that when they work together, Killua usually uses his abilities to make openings for Gon's jajanken. Okay thank you for coming to my tweak out!

[realvicoba]

Gon and Meruem acted as foils to each other during the chimera ant arc.

Typically, we get to see the main villain and the hero fight, but these two never once met— and yet the way they've been written gave us an interesting dynamic without the need for a meeting.

The monster expressing his humanity,

And the human expressing his monstrosity.

But what if I were to say that the beginning of Meruem's character arc with Komugi parallel's Killua's more than it does Gon's?

Both expressed shock at the other's triumph, shock that they somehow bested them.

How can this normal human who is, by all means, weaker than me, do something so incredible?

Just like how Komugi gives Meruem a new perspective on what strength and worth is, Gon does so for Killua. There is more that goes into an individual's worth than their physical strength. And alongside that, they introduced connection into their lives.

But by the time the chimera ant arc begins, the parallels shift.

Gon is the King.

I believe something a little different and interesting happens here— Killua becomes Pitou, just as much as he is Komugi, and Komugi can also represent what Kite is for Gon.

It's a bit confusing! But let's start from the easy one. Gon-Meruem and Killua-Komugi.

Komugi finds her worth in Meruem. Gungi to them is what nen is to Gon and Killua, something they both advance at together— something they have talent in and share. Komugi believes her worth and life's meaning was meeting Meruem, while she also pulls Meruem into a reasonable reality; she's his voice of reason, forcing him to think objectively without the looming responsibility of being "king".

Killua finds his worth in Gon. He saved him, he lit the path for him to progress in this world and helped turn his past traumas into a source of mental strength. In turn, he's Gon's voice of reason, anchoring him into reality and being there to calm his rage.

Both Killua and Komugi wonder if they're even worth being in their "king's" presence, if they're worth that connection. Is it okay if I stay by your side? Am I even worthy? Despite being such a useless person who can't even begin to shine as brightly as you do?

And the biggest difference is that Meruem's complete obsession is on Komugi, unlike Gon's focus being on Kite.

And here's where the dynamic begins to shift. Meruem grows more gentle, his love more blinding. While Gon grows a little colder, his rage being what blinds him.

Meruem and Komugi went on to do what Killua had wanted to— dying by each other's sides.

Him and Gon though? Their focuses don't match. Gon was completely focused on vengeance, and Killua, who loved him to the point of selflessness, did everything in his power to support his "king."

Like Pitou who put himself in a vulnerable situation to protect someone who is important to the person he loves most.

Killua's biggest fear was Gon losing himself at the knowledge of Kite's death. In the end, he felt completely powerless.

It's a little tragic, in a way. Killua failed to do what both Komugi and Pitou could for their most beloved. He could only save Gon with Alluka's help, and that was all after the worst came to pass.

I also find this page very interesting!!

I don't think Killua ever expected himself to protect something weaker than he is either, at least not at the start of the story. And when he did, he started taking an almost maternal role while protecting those he loves (supporting Gon and practically adopting Alluka).

I love the parallels between them. The things they say and do, their positions and roles, and their feelings— they all match. And in the end, it's the humans who are the most imperfect, failing at so much yet ending up the victors.

But failure is what helps Killua grow.

Meruem, Komugi and Pitou die.

Gon, Kite and Killua survive.

While Gon's mostly back at square one with some new trauma and some suicidal thoughts, Killua's at a stage of his life where he's starting to believe that there is more to his worth and importance than he initially thought, that he can live to protect others while simultaneously living for himself.

Komugi and Meruem had nothing before them in life, but Gon and Killua do. They are more than lovers on their deathbeds.

[realvicoba]

(I tried posting this before but I somehow can't find it?? So if you see it twice on my blog, please let me know, because it's not showing for me at all!)

Gon character study!!! He's not as appreciated as other characters, so here is me appreciating my son <3

The 2011 anime left out some key details from the first chapter, Specifically Kite and Kon.

Taking away so much from Gon's character in the process— as he's a perceptive kid and takes everything around him in. He learns from experience and sight, and we clearly see just how much he's learned from the wild which also enters into his mental aspects as well as his physical ones.

He's lonely, and was basically raised by wild animals so he bases his morals, or lack thereof, on that, while the more human aspects are based off of Mito's teachings as his mom. The rules of the animal kingdom added with the rules of humanity— we see how those two mix in his character!

So in words, his more subconscious moral standing that he learned from observing the wild is:

"the strong eat the weak."

And the one he voices is, the more human aspect,

"There should be reasons for hatred and causing harm."

And he bases those reasons on his views and understanding of someone's character and the nature of the situation.

Except, that doesn't always make sense, and can become hypocritical of him...

"Killua was an assassin? Well, that's how his family raised him, so it's only natural for him to kill people in the hunter exam.

Hisoka is scary, but I don't feel bad for the ones he killed. It's the nature of the hunters exam.

Hanzo is fighting this way to get his license, I understand. It's the nature of the exams. I won't hold it against him.

These are ruthless thieves and killers. They won't feel sympathy for their actions. But why are they grieving their comrade?

I didn't want to kill this monster, but he's sadistic and said he kills for no reason. So I crushed him.

If this person lies to me, I will kill them.

Why is my target healing an innocent girl? That doesn't make sense. I will threaten her. But she's innocent. I will wait, but I will kill her after an hour or when the monster shows any signs of betraying my trust because then it'd be my target's fault for not listening to me."

... When his idea of someone's nature is challenged, he finds it confusing. Getting angry, upset and growing incredibly unstable, and it becomes clear that a lot of his morals are just him trying to excuse certain actions of his friends and himself— and to try and get complicated feelings out of his system.

He also seems to be a bit of a thrill-seeker, but that's for another day!

All in all, I do think Gon is a very mature and intelligent kid for his age. But still, he's barely a teen, and he's lived a quiet life surrounded with love yet held a deep sense of emptiness and a lack of self worth perpetuated by his father's abandonment.

Is he selfish? You can say that! I don't think it's a selfishness based on bad intentions or a lack of care for others, but rather what he's seen from the more simple dynamics between animals and his tiny family.

I could also go on a tangent on his rage scene... But, that's for another post! 🤓

Is he a bad person? Far from it! It's clear Gon is caring and empathetic, but he's not perfect. Empathy is a difficult concept, and just as difficult to understand and deal with, which is something Gon's constantly trying to do.

Reminder that Gon's a kid. A good kid, yet one with flaws, and one put into situations that highlight said flaws.

What do you think?

[realvicoba]

Bro a tiny little nitpick I have with fanon Hisoka is that he just kills random uninteresting people or kids

Like, dudes a horrible violent person but, he's a lot like a zombie who only eats smart people because their brains are tastier and ignores other humans

Even when the phantom troupe were given the chance to massacre everyone he didn't really join, he'd much rather have a worthwhile fight than shed blood that doesn't even interest him

Illumis much more dangerous to the average, weak individual, but it's less murderous and more a complete lack of empathy and more nen ability related

Just some random thoughts 🤧

[realvicoba]

Alluka calls Killua "onii-chan" and Nanika calls him "Killua", and he considers both his sisters

Even the one that came from the dark continent who calls him by name, she's his little sister too

And it kills me they're so precious ☹️🩷

[realvicoba]

Hello, I'm back...

So we all know this volleyball scene as Gon being selfish and Killua being selfless, but I want to point out a level of nuance to that.

Gon is surprised, as shocked as we are, that Killua wants to go again after he hurt his hands. But these two know each other so well that they can understand the intentions behind their actions and what they say— Gon is well aware of how important it is for Killua to do that, to be useful, to support him. And he's well aware that the only person willing to do that for him and who loves him to that degree is, after all, Killua as well.

And it comforts Killua.

You can say that Gon took advantage of that by not telling Killua to not let his hands get worse, but that would also insult his strength and their relationship— even if it is the right thing to do.

They're both boys in the pursuit of power, in the end.

Even though Killua's self worth is a lot better after he goes off with Alluka, I don't think he'd refuse to do something like this again. It has more to do with his pride than anything else, and Gon knows that.

You can also say that this is the beginning of Killua trying to prove his worth as Gon's friend, the start of when he starts developing feelings for the boy and growing desperate to prove that he's worthy of their friendship by going this far.

I think it's both.

Prioritizing Gon's state over his own though? That is all about his lack of self worth, for sure.

LMK what you think!

[realvicoba]

Sometimes I'm scared to say that the hunter association chairman election arc is my favorite arc because people will start chasing me out of the village with forks and fire

I'd be tied to the stake in the middle of the plaza and questioned

"Gon looks pretty in the poster," I say, as they throw a torch onto the hay beneath my feet. "Killua interacting with his sisters!!" I add, before tears roll down my cheeks

It's actually my favorite arc because Illumi has a lot of screen time

I get burnt to ashes.

Actually though, I love it because we really see Killua's character development in it. And with that, it also raises questions— it's not like Killua's suddenly the best, most developed person in the world. There are still things left to uncover, more questions about Alluka and Nanika, and it sets up future events in a really interesting way. The Killugon seperation hurts me but it intrigues me more.

Also the animation kind of slays??? Seeing Gon run up the world tree will never not make me cry. My sons all grown up ☹️🫶

And his little tantrum in front of it. Okay maybe my sons not ALL grown up, but he's up there!

Seeing Hisoka and Illumi together is just always a treat, I can never replicate it.

The new characters just instantly grew on me, literally love how Togashi manages that.

And, it's a breath of fresh air after the CAA. Gon finally gets a hug, he finally meets his father. And his reaction to everything just never fails to make me think.

With all that said, too, I just love Killua's godspeed. It might be one of my favorite abilities in fiction, purely because he starts glowing and looks so pretty. Like that's my boy ☹️🫶

[realvicoba]

I think about what Killua said to Ikalgo about friends not needing to express gratitude and that he wouldn't accept a 'thank you' from him next time, then I think about Killua accepting a 'thank you' from Gon right before they parted ways.

"Does that mean he doesn't see Gon as a friend anymore?" No!

Killua has been romanticizing friendships, and especially Gon. While what he said to Ikalgo held weight, let's not forget that he's still a teenage boy who's just starting to feel proper affection and friendship from other people. It's only natural that he'd romanticize it, if only a bit, by saying that friends don't need to say thank you out loud.

And him accepting Gon's gratitude doesn't go back on his words, but it rather shows his more realistic view on friendship and Gon at that time, and how much his self worth grew since. It also shows the weight of what he did— he *deserves* gratitude.

Gon is always his best friend, and always will be. And he's Killua's light, and someone he wants to be with forever. But here Killua knows for sure that he's a kid just like him, that he doesn't shine brighter than he does, and that he needs to express gratitude because what Killua did for him was quite literally incredible especially when compared to the pain Gon put in Killua's heart.

So, all in all, still besties (or more) but with a better sense of self!

[realvicoba]

I write for me, myself and I, so numbers don't concern me so much

But at the same time... They kind of do. Like, c'mon, PEAK highway PEAK only has 300 hits?!?? Santa's gift was PEAK flavored only has 700?!?!? WHERE is the crowd!?

I'm fine with seaside cheers not getting read that much tbh since the beginning has a lot of flaws imo, but I've still spent so many hours ruminating and writing for it that I'd like the effort to be seen a bit more.

Overall, it's really not a big deal, but I do enjoy getting comments and having discussions for my stuff. Especially if said stuff took hours out of my already loaded schedule. The world is tragic...

Maybe it's the ideas? Maybe the plots aren't as exciting as they are... Calm and kind of slice of life-y. They're strange, but somehow generic at the same time?

And as for the writing style— eughh mine is a bit of a mess, but I'm getting better with every paragraph I write, or at least I try to. 😵‍💫

Anyway. If my big bang fic doesn't do numbers I'm flipping a table!!!!!!

[realvicoba]

Don't look back in anger.

(contains spoilers)

I just finished the movie, and these are my thoughts before going to read the Manga when I'm done bawling my eyes out and feeling horrendously empty!

The story is so simple at its core, yet so, so genuine, and so lovely. The entire thing felt like a letter or a memory.

When Kyomoto asked Fujino why she draws, and the silence that followed with a series of images of the both of them drawing together, then Kyomoto smiling. Fujino draws because it's something she gets praise for, something she's good at, then she continued drawing because it was Kyomoto who praised her, and because it strengthened their connection. It made Kyomoto smile.

And even when apart, that connection remained because of their art. Kyomoto kept up with shark punch, bought every volume and filled in fan questionaires. She kept the Manga strips from elementary school, she made her own inspired by them. Art connected them, art got her out of that room and into a dear friendship, art gave her the courage to look forward, and in the same vein, art was the vessel that helped Fujino look back on their past and better cope.

In the end, she goes back to drawing. In the end, she went back right to where it all started— a desk, and a pen in hand.

Maybe in another universe, she could've built upon another hobby, something more practical. Maybe then she could've saved Kyomoto, maybe then it wouldn't be her fault, as she thinks.

But in the end, it was art that gave them those magical years together. Kyomoto would've stayed a recluse, no matter what a grieving Fujino thinks, and Fujino wouldn't find that constance and home in her art and storytelling.

THIS HURTS 😃

[realvicoba]

Okay, wow, okay. I think chapter 409 is one of my favorites. I might come back to share my nerdy analysis about this entire thing someday, someday...