#Vibrant is Becca's eyes!

[heartsofminds]

i'm calling just to hear you scream - part ii.

“Free means “fuck.” She’s gonna fuck us, Sugar and you don’t even fucking care!” or it's your first day at The Bear (or is it The Beef still?), Richie is convinced you're a fed, and Carmen may or may not hate your guts.

A/N: well surprise, surprise! here's part two of i'm calling just to hear you scream. definitely more of a filler chapter before everything starts to implode and get more serious and downright grimey, but i hope you enjoy!

The shadows created by the awnings of the sandwiched businesses chill your bones while the Sun makes your backside sticky beneath your sweater and light spring jacket. Chicago is beautiful in March, but always full of surprises.

One day comes an icy snowstorm that adds to the gray slush collecting on the side of the street and the next a blissful sixty-one degrees that gaslights everyone into walking around with shorts on because it’s just “so warm.” 

You can’t revel in the tranquility for much longer. Not when you’re pretty sure you’re coming up on the address Natalie emailed you two nights ago. 628 West Wager Street sits prettily in between an old antique shop and a Chicago Cubs merchandise store that has definitely seen better days. Despite no sign hanging on the window and the glass completely shielded from outside eyes by brown butcher paper, it somehow looks like it belongs; the younger sibling of a once booming and vibrant street scene. 

Being outside of the door is a feeling that fills you with both anxiety and uncertainty. You know you’re in the right spot but you don’t feel like you are; not when you can’t hear any noise coming from any of the three storefronts that stand in front of you. You’re made even more uneasy when you see the five by eleven sheet of insulated foil wrap with capital letters written in Sharpie taped to the front window. 

The Beef is closed. Thank you for your patronage. The Bear is coming. 

The nerves start to hit you even harder. All Natalie had mentioned over the phone and through your frequent emails have been about needing help with a restaurant. The name of the aforementioned restaurant had never been disclosed and its location remained a mystery until this morning when you got an email with the unspoken directions that Apple Maps would omit. There’s nothing more embarrassing than doing a consult and not knowing any of the details. It’s even more humiliating when the feeling of being made a fool seems inevitable. 

Your arm refuses to move forward and yank the door open in case this is some sick prank. You half expect Becca to be hiding behind it with the “good ole boys” crew that is full of Senior and Junior partners at your law firm; their only purpose is to further humiliate and belittle you more than they already do on a day-to-day basis at the office. 

It’s a ridiculous thing to think that someone would care enough about you and your shame to do that, you know, but it’s the only way you can rationalize your brain warning you not to touch that door. Your eyes catch your reflection and suddenly you want the concrete sidewalk to swallow you whole. You take in how your navy blue pantsuit engulfs you and how your work bag seems to get heavier and heavier as it hangs solemnly at your side. 

You don’t belong here. 

The itch to turn around and run back to the train as fast as you could possibly manage crosses your mind, but the shattering of the quiet oasis around you interrupts that thought before it can materialize. 

“Do you ever shut the fuck up!” you hear a voice scream.

“Do you ever realize you don’t know fuckin’ everything!” another one screams back. 

The sound of a wall being hit accompanies the shouts as well as numerous other voices joining in on the cacophony the verbal altercation created. 

Call it a hunch (or just having enough common sense), but you definitely are in the right place and there are certainly people inside. The scary part of not knowing is over. The absolutely horrifying part of having to see where you fit in is pending. 

Your fingers grip the solid metal door handle and you rip it open. The resounding squeal it emits makes you want the floor to swallow you up whole. The chaos of screaming shouting and yelling start to pause before the sound of the sledgehammer hitting the wall a second time interrupts it and sends it into a full frenzy once again. 

The world seems to be moving in slow motion and your words are caught in your throat. You’ve never seen chaos like this before, but you’ve definitely felt the way you’re currently feeling every day for the past five years. Faces you don’t know, a nagging feeling of responsibility, a dire need to do the best job you possibly can and not fucking up and not pissing anyone off, and yet no idea where to even start. 

“If I already fuckin’ told you you were tearing the wrong wall down why the actual fuck would you do it again!” a strained scream bounces off the walls. 

You jolt at the echo. The current lack of infrastructure and an igloo of scaffolding tarp amplifies the sound by three thousand decibels. 

He can’t see your face because his back is turned toward you, but the temperament and the mop of curls tell you the obvious. Carmen. Natalie’s brother and shareholder that she had subtly warned you about in a half-joking, half-not tone when you had spoken on the phone the other day. 

“To prove a fucking point,” a lankier taller man scoffs back. Richie. Their cousin, not cousin (which you don’t really understand, but you chalk it up to a deduction that not everything is meant to make sense), and the absolute bane of Natalie and Carmen’s existence at times. She had also warned you about him on the phone. “Even if I’m wrong you never fail to always think you’re fucking right like a – like a fucking baby! You walk around here pissed the fuck off and fucking changing everything and makin’ it everyone else’s fucking problem –” 

Carmen lunges at him and two other men from the crowd almost pick him up from the floor to prevent him from tackling Richie. 

“Everyone else’s prob – You’re my fucking problem! You’re my fuckin’ problem and all you know how to do is fuck up and make everything fuckin’ worse!” 

“Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuckin’ pissy ass pamper cry baby.” 

Carmen tries his hardest to wrangle himself out of the hold he’s currently in. Sydney, a genius and the Lord’s prayer (according to Natalie, also), clumps herself near him as he remains twisting and turning like a toddler fighting a parent’s protective hold through a temper tantrum. 

“Chill, chill, chill. Stop. Just stop,” she gently coos. Her hand claps the shoulder of one of the men holding him up. You can see the gentle squeeze it gives to provide silent comfort, but you wonder if the softness in her tone is to deescalate the situation or to help regulate herself. 

He’s dragged out to what you can assume is the backdoor and it slams with a cadence that demands attention. A sharp thud can be heard five seconds later accompanied by various, “Yo, what the fuck, dude?”’s. 

He must have kicked the door. He definitely kicked the door. 

Your body continues to stay frozen in the bare entryway. The survival skills you’ve adapted kick into full effect. Don’t make a move. Don’t make a sound. Do not piss anyone else off. 

The aftermath of commotion and chatter fills the room and leaves no space for you. You have half the mind to put your hand back on the handle and dip out before anyone notices. You’ve been here all of three minutes and you feel as if it’s been a year. The shouting and the hurtful insults and the frequent use of the word “fuck” send a blush down your chest. You’re embarrassed because you’re starting to think that you can’t handle it. You’re not good enough. You’re not strong enough. 

What the fuck were you thinking even coming here? 

The push of your thigh against the door causes the rusted metal hinge to groan again. The sound is indiscernible from relief or protest; staying or leaving. Either option makes your skin crawl. The sudden redirection of eyes casts a dome of silence and everyone zones in on the thing that wasn’t there before: you. 

No one moves and for a second, you don’t think anyone blinks. The realization of someone infiltrating a rather robust and rage-filled argument occurring at nine in the morning sinks in before the vein of awkwardness begins to bleed. You know the logical thing to do is to introduce yourself; to force a plaster-like smile on your face and extend your hand and ask how everyone is doing. 

But you don’t. 

You can’t. 

Natalie can feel the alarm bells going off in her head when her eyes float to your figure. You look worried; a flash of pensiveness and subtle fear floods your facial expression and she starts to panic. Opening a restaurant is beyond humbling and asking Becca Cantor for her help was a last-ditch effort to contain the smallest bit of confidence she had left. Besides, she would rather roll over and die than you to walk out that door, tell Becca about how they’re sledgehammering walls with a gang of lunatics at the restaurant, and somehow get a call from Uncle Jimmy that turns into a stern talking to about how they’re just dicking around with his money and how it’s a waste of time. 

You absolutely, positively can not walk out that door. 

She’ll make sure of it. Even if it’s the last thing she ever fucking does. 

Her feet carry her faster than what her brain is aware of. Her eyes have to catch up with the scenery passing her in a blur as she walks up to you. Seeing her face calms you down in a way that is small but not unnoticed. She has kind eyes and a calm demeanor. This is the kind of client that gives you confidence. This is the kind of client that brings you joy. This is the kind of work you were made to do. 

“Oh, hey! You found it!” she cheers. Her hand brushes against your bicep in a welcome. 

The pool of spit inside your mouth gets swallowed as you curtly nod. “Yeah! Yeah, I thought Apple Maps led me astray but I was definitely in the right spot.” 

Pretending not to notice the curious gazes behind your interaction proves difficult, but it’s not something you’re not used to. Working in an office means there’s always someone in your business and you always feel like you’re under constant surveillance. 

At least this time, the threat of humiliation seems considerably low. The obvious danger of being chased out of here with a sledgehammer is considerably high though. 

“How are you doing?” you ask quietly. A conversation of niceties always makes things less awkward and gives you some leeway for at least learning who the owners are of the staring eyes. 

“Yo, who the fuck is this, Suge?” Richie asks, wiping his plaster-covered hands on his shirt. His face still harbors a flush that had yet to dissipate. He also has kind eyes but you know from the moments you witnessed prior that he can turn his kindness off and on instantaneously. 

Natalie rolls her eyes and huffs. The damage control that she’s doing is not going to plan. She had grown up around cursing and incredibly forward questioning and knows that not everyone else had, and from the disastrous commotion you stumbled into five minutes prior and the way your eyes show more of the whites than the irises, the crudeness needs to take a backseat. 

At least enough of one to ensure that you’re not about to turn around and bolt out of that shitty ass door that she had been bitching at Richie to oil for the past two months. 

She moves to stand next to you and puts her arm around your shoulder. Natalie knows that the second they find out that you’re an attorney all hell will break loose. Something about accusing you of being “fed” and coming to rip the “fundamentals of democracy” out from under them brews in her mind and she gags a little at the thought of having to diffuse yet another shit show before ten in the morning. 

The unwelcome taste of acid tinging the back of her tongue makes her take a mental note to ask her OB about being so nauseous. 

“This is our attorney,” she starts and begins to ignore the groans coming from the crowd in front of her, “She’s gonna help us with some...things.” 

Richie scoffs and throws his hands up. He wipes at his nose with his forearm and some of the plaster residue makes a home on the tip of it. 

“You brought a fuckin’ fed in here, Sugar?” His eyebrows rise to his hairline and it doesn’t take a genius to know how he doesn’t want you here at all. “I told you I had this under wraps. The fuck do we need a fed up our ass for if we’re just tearin’ down walls and shit.” 

You sigh and Natalie can feel the anxiety radiating off of you. She’s starting to absorb it, but the fight in her to make this right persists. 

“Well, first of all, the fed has a fucking name, you dick,” she snaps, “And you’ve been slinging beef sandwiches your entire adult life so the fuck do we need you for?”  

Richie exhales as the rest of the people around him start to snicker. 

“Damn, Papa. You need to pipe down,” whom you guess is Tina from some of the people who had been mentioned to you through the phone calls (and there’s so many goddamn people in here for it to be out of business and you’re sure you’ll need to start doing flashcards every night to remember who they are). 

“Thanks, T,” Natalie and Richie chirp in unison; their voices capturing the different emotions of annoyance and triumph differently. 

Some more harsh words and excited chatter served with a side of frustration occurs and you’re so checked out that you don’t even realize that no one has asked you directly what your name is. The animated voices and exaggerated body movement swell the room even more; pushing you outside and three blocks away so vividly through emotion that you have to check to make sure your feet haven’t moved. 

No one has asked who you are and which firm you came from. No one has asked how you are. And still, no one has asked you what your name is. 

They continue to talk and joke and yell and you start to feel yourself shrinking in. 

Smaller, smaller, smaller. 

Gone. 

You know that it’s not personal. It’s almost never personal, but the mind tends to conjure up ideas when it can’t make sense of the feelings it detects from the body. 

Maybe it had just gotten thrown to the wayside. Maybe they were making room for direct conversation with you to occur later when things weren’t so awkward. Maybe they don’t hate you and think you’re the worst and may actually like you.

But then maybe they don’t. 

Maybe they just don’t give a fuck. 

In your catatonic daze, you hear an offhanded remark about how you look like a high schooler who just waltzed in after a Model UN convention and that Natalie has no idea what the fuck she was doing. The laughter that follows highlights those who actively agree and the agitated huffs of frustration show those who silently concur. 

In any other circumstance, you probably would have joined them in laughter or returned a smart-alecky response or accompanied them in making fun of you, but this isn’t a different circumstance. You’re in a construction zone on a Saturday morning, overdressed with a pantsuit on, and have not a clue on how hospitality law works, and the facts leave a non-disputable conclusion. 

You’re the odd one out and you can’t get an invite to be even no matter how hard you try.

You truly don’t belong here. 

“Richie, have you ever considered that maybe we need to do it right this time?” Natalie asks, her tone dripping annoyance, “Her being here clearly doesn’t affect your ability to be an idiot, so you can go fuck yourself because she’s staying.” 

Richie narrows his eyes at her. His lanky limbs flail as he attempts to make his emotions seen without having to verbalize them. Natalie has had it with his stubbornness and she knows that she might be puking her guts out in about fifteen minutes. The great debate has to have an ending in sight soon. 

Besides, she knows that Richie’s apprehension toward the whole thing is because he’s resisting change and trying to get under Carmen’s skin. It doesn’t matter how great she knows her brother can make something. Richie will try and put a pin in it before it becomes something he no longer recognizes. 

Just like their dad. Somewhat like Mikey. Especially like Carmen (even though she knows he doesn’t recognize his own stubbornness yet). 

“Jesus, that’s fuckin’ horse shit if I’ve heard it,” he sneers, “And I happen to be very intelligent and very charming – and FYI – I also know how a fucking business works and all this “foo-foo,” “high dining”, microgreen shit –” 

She holds up her hand to him and rolls her eyes. She’s surprised she hasn’t been able to see the back of her skull yet. “It’s fine dining, but whatever.” 

“Fuck all the way off. Fine dining, microgreen shit is a dishonor to our roots and I will not stand for it.” 

Natalie’s hand smacks down on a metal rolling table with a rusty toolbox and a wrinkled pad of Post-it notes. The sounds of clanky metal snap everyone’s attention to her. Natalie was never mean. She was always sugary sweet and ooey gooey; trying to be in everyone’s good graces at all times and forever attempting to fix things before they had the potential to be broken. But she could also brush the sugar off and leave a bitter and tongue-curdling hurt if she got pushed to her limit. 

She’s not had a full night’s rest since she got asked (more like begged, but she’s not one for bragging) to be their project manager, she can’t bare to stomach anything nowadays without wrestling the urge to puke it back up, and the fucking pregnancy hormones are filling her with unexplained bouts of rage as of late. 

She is not one to be fucked with and Richie knows that. He just always wants to poke the bear. 

“Well that’s fuckin’ sad that your “roots” are tied to an Italian beef shop, but that doesn’t change my mind whatsoever,” she pushes past him with more force than she intended, guiding you along with her to wherever she had in mind, “You can bitch and moan and holler all you want but you’re not the one losing your fucking mind over fucking paperwork so whatever other unhelpful and extremely negative shit you have to say can get shoved up your ass and you can get fucked because I’m not putting up with it.” 

Richie is rendered speechless – a phenomenon that does not occur very often. 

She turns to you and gives you a friendly smile. Her hand rests softly above yours that are bawled into anxious fists. “Let’s go into the office so we can talk some more. Are you okay with that?” 

You’re still frozen in equal parts shock and fear; too scared to say no. 

“Umm. . .yeah. Yeah, we can go to the back,” you swallow and she brisks you away to what you assume is where all the paperwork is housed that they need help making sense of resides. 

You arrive outside of a closed wooden door and Natalie steps in front of it, her arms coming down to hug the hinges of it in a way that makes you slightly worried. “So I know that you’re not a hospitality attorney and I know that you’re doing this for free and you’re totally at liberty to say you want out the second you say the word,” she speaks softly. 

You know that she’s starting to panic. Your feelings and her feelings are starting to merge into one; two halves of the same whole – people pleasers. 

“But it’s. . .a lot and I don’t know even know where to start and this is legitimately driving me insane so –” 

Her anxiety starts to break your heart. The pang in your chest makes your decision for you. No matter how uncomfortable you are, you know you need to do the right thing out of the kindness of your own heart. 

“No, it’s fine!” you cut her off, “I’ll take a look and we’ll figure it out. Nothing you have here is too much. I can promise you that.” 

Ocean blue irises engulf you with sentiment and appreciation through their gaze. Natalie’s shoulders sag before her hand finds the gold doorknob. A deep breath adds to the noise of chatter and squeaks of the faulty fire alarm in the hallway. The oak door opens with a wheeze and a groan; stuck because of the swell its wood causes from the constant fluctuation of temperatures in Chicago. 

“Well,” she begins, “Here it is.” 

The mountains of cardboard boxes all labeled with acronyms and doodled with nonsense send the pit in your stomach down to your toes and through the center of the Earth. 

Holy fucking shit. 

Natalie notices your shock and starts to go back into “fix-it” mode. She hasn’t eaten at all today, but she figures that the emotions bubbling up and down at a fixed and constant rate are what fill her insides and are making her nauseous. Bile starts to make its way up her throat but she forces it back down. 

She’ll be damned if this goes even more sour than how she knows it has. 

“It’s a lot and it’s more sorting things and making them make sense than doing actual work? Like you’re gonna be doing work but it’s not rocket science. . . Not that being an attorney isn’t hard! My husband is one and I. . .need to shut up now,” she word vomits. Despite the apparent fact that she’s panicking, the sound of her voice is soothing and the gentle hand she places on the junction between the base of your neck and your shoulder does wonders to ground you. “And there’s no rush to have all of it done. It’s a work at your own pace kinda thing?” 

You both know that she’s fibbing about the last part. 

The frantic text at 11 PM last week and the hour-long phone call debriefs you had yesterday and three days before say otherwise. This is her compromising and making her needs smaller. This is her being like you and you being like her; being like each other. Digging yourself into holes to help others no matter the effort – no matter the pain. 

“No, I’m doing this because I want to. Just let me know exactly what you need and we can get to it as soon as possible.” 

You know that you must have said the golden word because as soon as the statement leaves your mouth, Natalie whips out her phone and starts reading off a list she had compiled of all things that have some link to the legal world. 

Contracts. Permits. Tax revenue sheets. Paystubs. Workers Compensation. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. City Ordinances. Chicago royally fucking anyone who dares to open a business, really. 

The sad part is that this should scare you. This should make you want to run out of here and never look back and purposely take the long way to get somewhere if you knew where you were headed would cross paths with the restaurant. 

But you don’t do any of that, and the buzz of finally doing something that you know is helping people overpowers the migraine of stress you can feel looming over you the second you agree to help them out. 

“You’re amazing,” she says, eyes twinkling with admiration. 

Your cheeks turn a shade of baby pink that you hope she can’t see. You’ve never taken well to flattery. 

Richie’s knuckles give a soft knock on the door and it opens before either of you can think to welcome another presence. His gaze finds both of you fist-deep into the first box labeled “Cocksuckers: For IRS - 1987.” You already know that he’s not related to the Berzattos by blood, but the beautiful blue eyes make you question that fact. He gives a sheepish smile almost to apologize for his interruption and you think he’s about to apologize before he opens his mouth and says, “Suge, your dashing baby brother is bout to blow a fuse because the fed is here.” 

Natalie stops what she’s doing. Her hands come to rest on the flimsy cardboard box and she throws her head back to eye the ceiling. If she can count the row of six vertically, maybe she can slow her breathing and calm herself down enough to spare Carmy the chewing out of a lifetime. 

One. 

“Sugar!” 

Two. 

“Get the fuck off me!” 

Three. 

“I said get the fuck off me! I need to see my fuckin’ sister!” 

Four. 

“Sugar!” 

Five. 

“Leave me the fuck alone!” 

Six. 

“Natalie!” 

Her brother appears in front of her disheveled and angry. Even though she’s only five years older than he is, she always sees him as the little baby she used to put in her strollers and push around for years until he got too big and too “grown” to think playing with his older sister was cool. Years spent with him also meant years studying him; knowing his ticks down to the smallest one and learning how he expresses every emotion. 

It was the only way she survived living in that house until she was eighteen. 

Dealing with an angry Carmen is nothing in comparison to dealing with an angry Michael or even attempting to console a slightly agitated mother. 

Besides, Carmy’s anger, while often misguided and very explosive, was never unexpected. He always has a tell and there’s always a few seconds before he completely comes unglued. Adult temper tantrums are shit shows, and quite frankly she’s fed up with having to diffuse one of his every couple of hours as of late. 

Her face starts to fall when she sees Carmen’s left eye begins to create that deep crinkle it does when he gets pissed. He starts to wrinkle his nose and she knows that he’s about to start screaming. 

Richie lets out a whistle before pushing Carmen’s head in a playful yet agitated manner. Before his hand can be swatted at, he jumps out of the way and joins in on a distant conversation about his daughter’s last dance recital. 

He has a smug grin on his face that Carmen wants nothing more than to slap off him. He knew that touching him would provoke him even more.  

Richie always has to poke the bear. 

Always. 

Carmen tries to contain his anger the best he can. Even though he’s totally against the idea of having you in the building, he knows there’s jackshit he can do about it now. Sydney said yes, Natalie sought you out, and Uncle Jimmy thought the idea was brilliant. The vote was three against one and he knows that all he can do is go fuck himself. So much for everyone promising not to make decisions about the restaurant without his okay. 

It’s not like his credit will be the one that’s fucked if this place turns to shit. 

His arm stretches to hold the side of the door’s hinge and supports his body weight as he leans to the right. “You hired a fucking attorney and didn’t tell me?” he snaps. His face pinches in a way that brings his nose, eyes, and mouth closer together; a face their mom used to make before she came totally unglued. 

You have your back turned toward the door he’s looming in. Something about being targeted makes you want to be blind to it; to shut your eyes as tightly as you can and will it away. You know that the way he’s acting has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you, but you can’t help it. When you feel out of place, every action to push you further out feels personal. 

“She’s doing it for free,” Natalie scoffs, putting a lid back on one of the boxes and crossing her arms over her chest. She would offer up more information, but what would be the use if Carmy is as wound up as he is? 

“Free means “fuck.” She’s gonna fuck us, Sugar, and you don’t even fucking care!” he screeches, seemingly uncaring that you’re right in front of him and that he’s biting his sister’s head off as if it’s nothing. 

You start to pull files out of the boxes faster than you were before. The distraction is needed because you know that if you listen too intently to what else is being said, you’ll start internalizing it later. 

Nothing with you. Everything with him. Nothing with you. Everything with him. 

“No. She is not gonna fuck us,” she pushes a finger into his chest and her nostrils flaring, “You’re gonna fuck us because you’re being so stubborn and stupid and can’t have a goddamn conversation like an adult.” 

His chest pushes deeper into his sister’s finger. “You calling me a baby? You calling me a fucking baby?” 

Carmen usually isn’t one to pick a fight in his everyday life, but once he gets started he refuses to back down. The rational part of his brain knows that he’s going overboard but he can’t help himself. The rage inside has nowhere to go and this whole thing is really pissing him off. He’s so fucking sick of everyone acting like he’s too immature and irresponsible to handle things.

Natalie’s finger comes out to become a full palm. “Well then stop the yelling. Stop the pissy pamper attitude. Stop wasting our fucking time and just admit that you’re way over your fucking head and don’t know everything.” 

Carmen balls his hands into fists and licks his lips to prevent him from saying something really fucking mean. He knows that Natalie is just trying to help but she always is, and it fucking sucks when she always saves the day even when he doesn’t want her to. The restaurant was supposed to be theirs; supposed to be all him and Mikey and everyone who made them into the people they are. It was never supposed to be his. It was never supposed to be his when he has not a goddamn clue what he’s doing and Natalie driving herself borderline insane trying to proactively fix everything before it turns to shit. 

He doesn’t know what to say because she’s right. Sugar is always right and Carmen is always wrong and he wishes Michael was here to balance them out; to add a third option so it wasn’t so split. 

But he’s not here. He won’t be here. He never really was here. 

“Fuck!” he yells at the top of his lungs. 

“Fuck!” Natalie shouts back. 

Argument over. 

His shoes slide on the floor with ease and he tries to steady his breathing. His arms let go of the door frame and his head hangs with the dissatisfaction of still housing a boulder of anger. 

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” he whispers, voice growing smaller as he walks away. A loud clash of hollowed metal is heard shortly after. “Fuck!” 

“Punching the lockers doesn’t get rid of the fact you’re a little bitch, Cousin.” 

Richie has to poke the bear. 

Always.

[xmorguekittyx]

Ever Unlocked

Part 4: An Uneventful Shift

Part 3: Coffee & Mints

pairing: Officer!Leon Kennedy x Coroner’s Assistant!Reader

warnings: sexual themes, thoughts of burglary and assault, thoughts of fingering and mentions of female and male anatomy (i am not use to doing these please correct me on any!)

A soft drip, the gurgle of the coffee machine, the patter of the rain still beating against the double paned windows. It was uneventful to say the least. Racoon City seemed to slow down on days like today... and yesterday. The hustle and bustle of the city always died down when the rainstorms blew through. Dark clouds creeping over the buildings, the streetlights fighting away the darkness that encroached upon the vibrant population. Officers sat back in their chairs, idly chatting about the newest football game. Leon could even hear the secretaries gossiping about some show they had caught the new episode of. What he couldn't see was her. Her office closed behind the dark oak door, maybe he took an unnecessary amount of bathroom breaks just to hear her voice through the door and maybe he took a few seconds longer to stretch in front of her office just to catch the end of a conversation between her and Rebecca. His lips pull back as he heard a little chuckle come from the voice, he became so familiar with after such a short amount of time.

"-no because that's exactly what Chris said. Why would Anna choose Brendan over Micheal? Micheal is so handsome, those big brown eyes. Those sharp cheek bones-", Rebecca had a love-struck look, her green eyes shining in the fluorescents. "I'm more into guys with blue eyes.", her words were soft, almost like a shy admittance. "Blue eyes, huh?", Rebecca's teasing tone caused a flush to come to the apples of her assistant's cheeks. "Blue eyes like a certain rookie has?", her body leaned closer to the flustered girl. "W-what?", her hand raised to try and cover her embarrassment. "I see the way he looks at you.", Rebecca leaned back in her desk chair, "Those heart eyes, practically bulging out of his head when you walk by.", she gave the younger girl a knowing look. "and to see you both come into work together this morning... are you hiding something from me?", Rebecca was all about work gossip. She knew everything and anything about any person in RPD. Her lips wrapping around the lip of her coffee cup. "He just took me home last night, it was raining and you know my car has bad breaks.", she huffed turning back to look at Rebecca. "Did you finish up that McGrath file, Officer Kennedy needed it.", she reached for the file under her boss's elbows. "Don't go changing the subject on me.", Rebecca's fingers slid the file further away from the woman.

 

Her eyes rolled at the childish behavior from her higher up. "I am not changing the subject, I'm trying to do my job.", she reached over, fingers barely brushing past the manila folder, barely missing her target as the older woman pushed it further. "Becca!", an exasperated look befell her face. "What?!", Rebecca mimicked her tone, "I want to know about your night with Leon Kennedy.", she wiggled her brows. "Did you guys fuck-?", "Rebecca Chambers!", her voice was strained, her eyes bugging out as she looked at the brunette. "That is not appropriate!", she was stunned, Rebecca was always so nosey and she couldn't even think about fucking Leon-

"It's just a question, he's cute. Definitely a little too shy for his own good, but cute.", Rebecca waved her hand dismissively. "Don't be a prude, i bet he's got a big-", Rebecca was cut off with a knock to the door. "Sorry to interrupt.", Leon's voice was clearly jittery, his cheeks tinted a delicate pink. She felt like hiding under the desk. How long had he been standing outside that damned door? She could see herself reaching and stabbing the pen in her eye or even just having the floor open up and swallow her whole. "Oh, hey, Leon.", Rebecca's tone was telling, her eyes narrowing in a mischievous glare. "We were just talking about you.", it felt like she was truly going to explode as Rebecca continued to flap her lips. "About me? Good things, I hope.", his fingers brushed at the short hair sprouting from the back of his head, head turning to face away from the two women. He'd definitely overhead them- her- Rebecca. "Only good things.", Rebecca shifted in her seat, chin resting upon her palm, supported by the desk. An awkward silence filled the air between the three, her hands gripped the desk tightly, her eyes staring out at the middle of the room, settling on the red and gold carpet. Rebecca held that smug smirk as she watched Leon, who was shifting his feet at the door.

  "I- I came for that file.", he turned his attention to the assistant, his eyes taking in her blush. He wanted to reach out and brush those rosy cheeks, he wondered if she'd blush while he had his hands down that pretty black skirt, if her full lips would part while her eyes fluttered closed. A harsh breath of air sucked through her teeth as his fingers brushed over her clothed cunt. Head tilted back into his shoulder as he brushed her hair from her face, wanting to get a better look at her, those soft strands of hair entangled around his fingers, catching in a tangled piece as he swirled his finger on the bundle of nerves. The fabric sticky and wet with arousal, his lips would find a home on her pulsating jugular, nipping her flesh with the mark of his love, his animalistic desire to have her. He was nearly drooling. He hadn't noticed her take the file from Rebecca with a pointed glare, her eyes narrowed as she flicked through it, checking over the inked words, she insured he had all the information he needed before she held it out to him.

  "Officer Kennedy?", she had a soft whine to her tone, her fingers soft against the stiff paper. "Are you okay?", her words broke his thoughts, the image fading from his mind as he looked down at the folder, "Oh, thank you.", his fingers brushed hers as he took a step closer, his boot thudding softly against the wooden flooring. "I know you said you'd text but...", he paused, fingers tightening around the folder, her hands were so soft. He bet the skin of her ass and breasts was just as soft and supple. He hadn't really had a solid reason to visit, besides the fact he just wanted to see her, walking past the closed door every 30 minutes and hearing her voice wasn't enough. It would never be enough until he had her in his grasp. To have her folded underneath his weight, her thighs pressed to her chest as he finally got to feel her around himself. He could feel his uniform pants tightening around his groin, a nearly inaudible grunt leaving his lips as he took a moment to step forwards once more. His thighs nearly bumping her desk. The manila folder laid across his crotch, holding it to hide the ever growing semi he gained from daydreaming.

  "Lieutenant Branagh wanted me to go ahead and start on this case since we're having a slow day.", he hadn't let his eyes leave hers, her chin tilted up to look at him. The desire to walk closer, to take a step around her desk and into her aura was nearly too strong for him to ignore. "It is pretty slow today, but considering the alternative, I'd say that's a good thing.", she offered him that shy smile she would shoot him from time to time as he caught her eye over the weeks. "You're definitely right.", he wouldn't deny the truth in her words, he just wished he had more time with her. More time to sit and bask in her presence. She felt like a goddess to him, something looming in his brain, something causing him to tick in ways he hasn't before. His dick twitched at the sight of her, his mind fogging over with positions he dreamed of putting her in, he was so fucking shy it was embarrassing. How could he think such disgusting things while being nearly idiotic in front of her?

  Rebecca took another sip as she watched the two from her side of the office. She'd noticed the hard on Leon rocked and the doe eyed look her assistant was giving the rookie cop. It wasn't hard to see how they reacted to each other. As if the two had been struck by Cupid's arrow. "Well, i think it's time for me to get back to work.", she stood up, coffee still in hand as she turned to go down the hallway to the cold storage. "Just make sure the file gets typed up once he's done with it.", she called over her shoulder, giving them both the alone time they needed, she was silently rooting for them. Leon Kennedy, the socially awkward pretty boy and her very pretty, equally as awkward assistant. Rebecca was definitely going to tell Chris about this later.

"I'm sorry-", she blurted out as soon as Rebecca had walked away, her blush reappearing as if a magic trick. "i- we- she-", she grimaced, "that wasn't appropriate for us to talk about.", she felt bad for Leon having to overhear Rebecca's inappropriate comments about his body. "I did not try to strike up that kind of conversation-", she was rambling, her hands rubbing at that black skirt he so badly wanted to rip off of her, wiping the sweat from her palms. "It's no problem, really.", he leaned down slightly to grab her attention. "In my few months here, I've kinda picked up on her personality. She's very...", Leon had a hard time as he thought of a work safe word to describe the short haired brunette who seemed to love knowing everyone's business. "nosey?", she offered, her head leaning back, an annoyed sigh leaving her nostrils. "That woman knows things that i wish i never had to hear about.", her chair squeaked as she stretched out her back, leaning back over the keyboard in front of her. "She does seem like she could get a bit overwhelming.", his utility belt bumped into the arm of the upholstered chair as he took a seat in front of her desk, the same one he fell asleep in yesterday.

  "Overwhelming perfectly explains Rebecca.", she let out a slight laugh, an amused half smirk on her lips as her fingers typed at the half finished Gonzales file, a man, stabbed to death in his apartment over a robbery gone wrong. It was near her apartment too. "Which, with the slow day, she's more talkative than ever. I'm surprised she didn't explode while she was at home alone yesterday. You'd think all that silence would have her at her wits end.", Leon couldn't help but laugh at the words coming from her. "Yeah, you'd be lonely if she exploded, though.", the laugh from her lips, caused by him, had Leon beaming. He loved when she reacted to the things he said... did. He couldn't help the dark thoughts that came over his mind, if he tried now, reached for those perky breasts that peeked from her white blouse, would she push him away? Would she allow him to touch her in such a intimate way? It disturbed him slightly to think about her that way. He hadn't had thoughts like these before, doing things like checking her trash and mentally noting everything about her. He hadn't acted this way with his ex girlfriend. It was her, she made him act and think in ways he hadn't before. Making him worry about her while she slept away in those purple sheets, did she sleep naked? Could he sneak into that open window and find out? The dull aching in his cock has him closing his eyes. He'd have to take care of that soon, he could barely hear her, her words melting together in a blurb as his needs took over his mind. Fuck- he needed her, soon. He was trying his damndest to be slow with her, move at a pace she was comfortable with but for him it was becoming a personal hell.

  His mind was so clouded with her, these new found urges, it was wrong to plan how to sneak into her home. It was her fault for telling him that she didn't lock her damn doors. She shouldn't be so much of a brainless woman, it angered him. She was tempting him, she- she had to want this, right? That's the only reason she would tell him that. That's it- she wanted him to know about her ever unlocked door, her unlocked and open window in her bedroom, god, she really must want him, but it was wrong to want to want to watch her while she was in the safety of her own home. That's the thing- she wasn't safe. Her damn need to act as careless and as stupid as she did. Did she want someone to break in and take advantage of her, have someone break in and steal, torture her- he didn't like the thought of that. He had to teach her better, but part of him liked how naive she was. She could come to him... she could find safety in him. So what if someone broke into her home, stole a few things and left it blatantly obvious that they wanted to return? Would she come to him in fear, searching for a sense of protection? Could he be her savior, her protector? Could he be the one that got to shelter her from the dirty world? He could. He would.

[soulsuckrrs]

open to: m/f/anyone plot: in an effort to find answers for your muse, Becca does a spell that requires her to come as close to death’s door as possible & she does it with little hesitation but in the middle of the casting your muse pulls her from the water to stop her. there’s definitely room for plotting so hmu if you’d like to plot more out! connection: friend, crush/love interest, school/roommate, rivals or enemies to lovers👀, bonus points if they’re another supernatural, whatever works~

“What are you doing?” Becca breathed between gasps for air, water clogged her ears and ran down from her shoved back hair to blind her momentarily as she tried to rid her eyes from the water, blinking over at the other that had pulled her from the silence of the icy water in the tub around her. A few moments passed as she gasped air through her trembling lips and blinked away the water there to properly look at the other, search their face and eyes for an explanation as to why they had stopped her. Her hands trembled just like her lips, the color blue overtaking her once warm and vibrant skin, the spell had requirements and the ice cold water was only part of what would bring them answers. It wasn’t like Becca to be reckless, she was calculated, studious, and always went in with a plan.

Why then had she been so quick to accept doing this spell? A task that brought her closer to death than she had ever imagined being since the first time her abilities had manifested in a violent display of power. But this was the only way to find answers and she was as eager to get them as the person who had pulled her up from the water was. She blinked again, body trembling completely now as the cold fully registered to her brain. Becca swallowed and pressed one of her hands to her chest while the other swiped at her face once more to rid it of water before she held the other’s gaze and gripped herself tightly as if she could ward off the ice cold biting at her bones.

“You can’t just pull me out of a spell like that,” Becca scolded softly, though a big part of her was grateful to have been pulled from the clutches of death even if it was for a moment or two longer. “– it could have been dangerous.” She added in an airy breath that touched at the hint of a whisper, as if this whole thing wasn’t dangerous already. She unclenched her hand from herself and put it on their arm in an effort to comfort but it was she that found the comfort, their warmth seeping into her freezing bones through the contact and she found herself wanting more.

[jjbrothers]

"Top 10 Bestselling Makeup Products in Pakistan for 2024: Must-Haves for Every Beauty Enthusiast"

The beauty industry in Pakistan has witnessed significant growth in recent years, with makeup enthusiasts continuously exploring new trends and products. As 2024 progresses, the demand for top-quality makeup items has skyrocketed, particularly as consumers increasingly purchase makeup products online in Pakistan. With a wide array of international and local brands catering to the diverse preferences of the Pakistani audience, certain products have stood out as bestsellers this year. Here’s a look at the must-have makeup items dominating the beauty scene in 2024.

1. Foundations with Flawless Coverage

Achieving a flawless complexion remains a top priority for many makeup users. In 2024, high-performing foundations offering long-lasting wear and a natural finish have been immensely popular. Products like Maybelline Fit Me Foundation and NARS Radiant Longwear Foundation have secured top spots on the bestseller list. These foundations are favored for their wide range of shades, perfect for the diverse skin tones in Pakistan, and their ability to provide excellent coverage without feeling heavy.

2. Bold and Matte Lipsticks

Matte lipsticks continue to be a favorite among Pakistani women, especially for their ability to add a bold, sophisticated touch to any look. The Huda Beauty Power Bullet Matte Lipsticks and MAC Retro Matte Lipsticks are two of the most sought-after products in this category. Their intense pigment, long-lasting formula, and variety of shades—ranging from bold reds to subtle nudes—make them a staple in makeup kits across the country.

3. Smudge-Proof Eyeliners

A sharp and defined eyeliner is essential for completing any eye makeup look, and in 2024, smudge-proof eyeliners have become indispensable. The Maybelline Hyper Easy Liquid Liner and L'Oréal Paris Infallible Gel Crayon Eyeliner have become bestsellers due to their precision, smooth application, and long-lasting wear, making them perfect for everyday use, as well as special occasions.

4. Highlighters for a Radiant Glow

A radiant glow is a must for any makeup look, and the popularity of highlighters reflects this trend. Products like Fenty Beauty Killawatt Freestyle Highlighter and Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector are flying off the shelves in Pakistan. These highlighters offer an unparalleled glow that enhances facial features and complements the natural beauty of Pakistani skin tones.

5. Waterproof Mascaras

Waterproof mascaras are another essential in every makeup lover's collection, and 2024 has seen a spike in the demand for mascaras that volumize and lengthen lashes while staying intact throughout the day. Maybelline’s Lash Sensational Waterproof Mascara and Benefit Cosmetics' They're Real! Lengthening Mascara are the top choices this year for their ability to create dramatic lashes without smudging or flaking.

6. Lightweight Concealers

In the busy lifestyles of many Pakistani women, concealers that are easy to apply and provide excellent coverage have become a necessity. The Tarte Shape Tape Concealer and L.A. Girl Pro Conceal HD remain top-selling products, appreciated for their creamy formulas and ability to hide blemishes, dark circles, and uneven skin tones effortlessly.

7. Setting Sprays for All-Day Wear

Given the climate in Pakistan, setting sprays are crucial for keeping makeup intact throughout the day. The Urban Decay All Nighter Long-Lasting Makeup Setting Spray and MAC Prep + Prime Fix+ have been top sellers in 2024. These sprays not only help makeup last longer but also provide a refreshing, dewy finish.

8. Eyeshadow Palettes with Versatile Shades

Eyeshadow palettes that offer a mix of vibrant and neutral shades are in high demand this year. The Huda Beauty Nude Eyeshadow Palette and Morphe 35O Nature Glow Eyeshadow Palette are especially popular for their highly pigmented colors and blendable textures. These palettes cater to both everyday looks and glamorous evening makeup, making them versatile and essential in any makeup collection.

9. Blushes for a Natural Flush

A soft flush of color on the cheeks can brighten up the complexion, and blushes are among the most loved products in 2024. NARS Blush in Orgasm and Milani Baked Blush are leading the blush category for their natural finishes and universally flattering shades.

10. Primers for a Smooth Base

Creating a smooth base for makeup is key to ensuring long-lasting wear, especially in Pakistan's humid climate. Smashbox Photo Finish Primer and Benefit POREfessional Face Primer are popular choices this year for their ability to minimize pores, control oil, and provide a flawless base for makeup application.

Conclusion

As the makeup industry in Pakistan continues to thrive, the trend of purchasing makeup products online in Pakistan has made it easier for consumers to access the latest and best-selling beauty items. From foundation to lipsticks, the top makeup products in 2024 reflect the preferences of a diverse and beauty-conscious audience, offering both quality and innovation. Whether you're a beauty enthusiast looking to update your makeup collection or a newcomer seeking the basics, these bestselling products are sure to elevate your beauty game.

[caitlin666]

Pretties by Scott Westerfield: A Short Guide

In Scott Westerfeld's "Uglies" series, the concept of "Pretties" involves a highly idealized standard of beauty achieved through extensive cosmetic surgery and physical transformation. Here are some general ideas to consider if you want to emulate the look of a Pretty from the series:

1. Focus on Symmetry

Facial symmetry: The Pretties in the series have perfectly symmetrical faces. Makeup techniques, such as contouring and highlighting, can help create the illusion of symmetry. Additionally, some use photo editing apps to simulate this effect in pictures.

2. Clear Skin

Skincare routine: Follow a regular skincare routine to maintain clear and healthy skin. This includes cleansing, moisturizing, and using products suitable for your skin type.

Makeup: Use foundation, concealer, and powder to achieve a flawless complexion.

3. Bright, Sparkling Eyes

Eye makeup: Use eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara to make your eyes appear larger and more vibrant. Consider using colored contact lenses if you want to change your eye color.

Eyebrows: Keep your eyebrows well-groomed and shaped to frame your face.

4. Full Lips

Lip care: Exfoliate and moisturize your lips regularly.

Lip makeup: Use lip liner and lipstick to enhance the fullness of your lips. Gloss can add extra volume and shine.

5. Healthy, Shiny Hair

Haircare: Use quality shampoos, conditioners, and treatments to keep your hair healthy and shiny.

Styling: Experiment with different hairstyles that complement your face shape. You might want to try sleek, smooth styles or voluminous waves.

6. Fit and Toned Body

Exercise: Regular physical activity helps maintain a fit and toned physique. Find a routine that you enjoy and stick to it.

Diet: Eating a balanced diet contributes to overall health and well-being.

7. Fashion and Style

Clothing: Wear clothes that make you feel confident and comfortable. Find styles that flatter your body shape.

Accessories: Use accessories to add personality and flair to your outfits.

8. Confidence and Attitude

Self-assurance: Confidence plays a significant role in how others perceive you. Work on building your self-esteem and carrying yourself with poise.

To achieve a "Pretty" look inspired by the "Uglies" series, you'll want to use high-quality makeup products that help create a flawless, symmetrical, and enhanced appearance. Here are some recommended makeup products and brands that can help you achieve this look:

1. Foundation and Concealer

Estée Lauder Double Wear Foundation: Known for its long-lasting, full-coverage formula that provides a flawless finish.

Tarte Shape Tape Concealer: Highly pigmented concealer that covers imperfections and brightens the under-eye area.

2. Primer

Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer: Smooths the skin and creates a perfect base for makeup application.

Benefit The POREfessional Primer: Minimizes the appearance of pores and fine lines.

3. Highlighter and Contour

Anastasia Beverly Hills Contour Kit: Offers a variety of shades to sculpt and define your face.

Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector: A popular highlighter for a radiant glow.

4. Eyeshadow

Urban Decay Naked Palettes: Versatile eyeshadow palettes with a range of neutral and bold colors.

Huda Beauty Obsessions Palettes: Compact palettes with highly pigmented shadows in various color schemes.

5. Eyeliner and Mascara

Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eyeliner: Precise, long-lasting liquid eyeliner.

Too Faced Better Than Sex Mascara: Provides volume and length for dramatic lashes.

6. Eyebrows

Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz: A precise pencil for defining and filling in brows.

Benefit Gimme Brow+ Volumizing Eyebrow Gel: Adds volume and sets brows in place.

7. Lip Products

MAC Lipstick: Available in a wide range of colors and finishes for any look.

Fenty Beauty Gloss Bomb: Adds shine and fullness to the lips.

8. Setting Powder and Spray

Laura Mercier Translucent Loose Setting Powder: Sets makeup and controls shine.

Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray: Keeps makeup in place for long-lasting wear.

9. Blush

NARS Blush in Orgasm: A universally flattering blush with a hint of shimmer.

Tarte Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush: Long-wearing and highly pigmented.

Tips for Application:

Symmetry: Focus on creating symmetry in your makeup application, especially with your eyebrows, eyes, and lips.

Highlighting and Contouring: Use these techniques to sculpt and define your features, enhancing the appearance of high cheekbones and a defined jawline.

Eye Makeup: Emphasize your eyes with well-blended eyeshadow, precise eyeliner, and voluminous mascara to make your eyes appear larger and more vibrant.

Lip Makeup: Use lip liner to define your lips and fill them in with lipstick or gloss for a fuller look.

Skin: Achieve a flawless complexion with a good foundation and concealer, setting your makeup with powder and spray for longevity.

To emulate the "Pretty" look from Scott Westerfeld's "Uglies" series, focus on high-fashion, stylish, and perfectly tailored clothing and accessories. Here are some fashion items and brands that can help you achieve this look:

Clothing

Dresses

Alexander McQueen: Known for their edgy, yet elegant dresses that make a statement.

Self-Portrait: Offers intricate designs and lace details that add a touch of sophistication.

Tops

Balmain: Famous for their structured blazers and tops with bold shoulders.

Diane von Furstenberg: Iconic for wrap tops and blouses that enhance the figure.

Pants and Skirts

Gucci: Known for their high-fashion trousers and skirts with unique patterns and impeccable tailoring.

Chanel: Offers classic, timeless pieces with a modern twist.

Outerwear

Burberry: Renowned for their trench coats and outerwear that exude elegance.

Canada Goose: Offers luxurious, high-quality coats for colder climates.

Footwear

Heels

Christian Louboutin: Famous for their iconic red-soled heels.

Jimmy Choo: Known for their glamorous and chic high heels.

Boots

Stuart Weitzman: Offers stylish over-the-knee and ankle boots.

Dr. Martens: Known for their fashionable, sturdy boots that add an edge to any outfit.

Accessories

Bags

Louis Vuitton: Iconic handbags that are both stylish and practical.

Hermès: Known for their luxurious and timeless bags, like the Birkin and Kelly.

Jewelry

Tiffany & Co.: Offers classic and elegant jewelry pieces.

Cartier: Known for their high-end, sophisticated designs.

Sunglasses

Ray-Ban: Offers a variety of stylish and iconic sunglasses.

Prada: Known for their fashion-forward and chic eyewear.

General Tips:

Tailoring: Ensure your clothes are well-fitted and tailored to enhance your silhouette.

Mix and Match: Combine high-end fashion pieces with more affordable items to create a balanced, stylish look.

Minimalism: Focus on quality over quantity, choosing pieces that are versatile and timeless.

Attention to Detail: Pay attention to accessories, makeup, and hairstyle to complete the look.

Brands and Stores to Consider:

Net-a-Porter: Offers a wide range of high-end designer clothing, shoes, and accessories.

Farfetch: Features a curated selection of luxury fashion items from various designers.

Nordstrom: Provides a mix of high-end and contemporary fashion brands.

In Scott Westerfeld's "Uglies" series, the Pretties exhibit certain behaviors and attitudes that reflect their society's idealized norms. If you want to act like a Pretty from the series, here are some key characteristics and behaviors to consider:

1. Confidence and Poise

Carry yourself with confidence: Stand tall, maintain good posture, and move gracefully.

Positive self-image: Believe in your beauty and worth, projecting self-assuredness in your interactions.

2. Charm and Sociability

Be friendly and outgoing: Engage in conversations with enthusiasm and interest in others.

Politeness: Use good manners and be courteous in social situations.

3. Optimism and Positivity

Keep a positive attitude: Focus on the bright side of things and maintain an upbeat demeanor.

Encourage others: Be supportive and encouraging, making people feel good about themselves.

4. Stylish Appearance

Dress well: Always wear fashionable and well-coordinated outfits that suit the occasion.

Grooming: Maintain a neat and polished appearance, paying attention to details like hair and makeup.

5. Fitness and Health

Stay active: Participate in physical activities and sports to maintain a fit and toned physique.

Healthy habits: Eat well, get enough sleep, and take care of your overall well-being.

6. Sophistication and Elegance

Cultured interests: Show interest in arts, culture, and refined hobbies.

Graceful demeanor: Move and speak with elegance, avoiding harsh or abrupt actions and words.

7. Social Awareness

Be inclusive: Make an effort to include others in social activities and avoid cliques.

Empathy: Show understanding and empathy towards others' feelings and experiences.

8. Engage in Fun Activities

Parties and social gatherings: Participate in or host social events, enjoying the company of friends.

Adventure and excitement: Be open to new experiences and adventures, showing a zest for life.

9. Intelligence and Wit

Engage in interesting conversations: Be knowledgeable and well-read, able to discuss a variety of topics.

Sense of humor: Have a good sense of humor and be able to laugh at yourself and with others.

Examples of Pretty Behavior:

Social Events: Attend or organize social events and parties, being the life of the gathering with your charm and enthusiasm.

Volunteering: Engage in community service or charitable activities, showing your caring and empathetic side.

Hobbies: Take up hobbies like dancing, painting, or playing an instrument to showcase your refined interests.

Key Traits to Emulate:

Confidence: Believe in yourself and project positivity.

Charm: Be friendly, sociable, and engaging in all interactions.

Elegance: Maintain a polished appearance and graceful demeanor.

[thcrealheroes]

OH, ANNIE KNEW WHO. SHE ABSOLUTELY KNEW WHO WITHOUT BUTCHER having to say his name. Homelander. America's greatest superhero is the Freddy Krueger of this world, the main character of everyone's nightmares, including hers. She couldn't imagine what that POOR BOY dreamt of when Homelander came to mind... but Annie knew he must be suffering. Her delicate features contorted into a grimace as she shook her head sympathetically. " ... Sorry to hear that... " In a moment of quiet reflection, the blonde supe tenderly wraps her arms around herself, as if seeking solace or comfort. " ... It's a good thing he has you... I know he-- " Misses his mom. Who could blame him ? Becca definitely earned Mother of the Year. She loved Ryan with all her heart. " -- Maybe once he gets the hang of his powers... it'll get easier for him, I'm hoping. " Annie offers a reassuring smile to Butcher, conveying a sense of COMFORT AND HOPE, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges. She wants to provide some form of hope, even if it appears out of reach at the moment, believing that hope will ultimately somehow guide them in some way.

 When was the last time she saw Butcher ? A year ? Perhaps ? Since he took Ryan and left to live a life of PEACE—GOD, has it really been that long since the two of them have come across each other ? She's heard about him from Hughie, of course. It was surreal to be standing face to face with someone whom you once claimed not to be a fan of. The two of them were not the best of friends and had definitely bumped heads one too many times. She still held a grudge for him shooting her down, and yet, despite their disagreements and his disrespect, they found themselves in each other's presence. He never acknowledged Annie by her real name-- AND YET, she's here. And the young blonde doesn't feel any animosity towards Butcher. He's out here being a father to Ryan; he stepped down from wanting to take down Homelander to be here for Ryan, and if that doesn't make him a hero, a good father... then she didn't know what did.

 LETTING HER DARK IRISES DANCE ALONG HIS FEATURES- She's always thought he was quite handsome, although she would never say it aloud. But now, seeing him step in and do the right thing... well, that just made Butcher... well, it stirred up a lot of emotions that she'd rather not delve into. It's sexy ! She does feel sinful labeling him that, even in her head, when he's just trying to do right by Ryan. The blonde finds Butcher attractive, and she always has, but more so now that she's getting this moment with him without the two of them clawing at each other's necks or threatening to take down the other. And Annie is also... proud of him. And she's sure Becca is also. And while she wants to tell him how proud she is of him, she chooses not to; it just doesn't seem to be correct, and the two of them are not friends- she's here to help Ryan, that's it.    

 Her lips parted slightly as a soft, melodic chuckle slipped through, revealing a glimpse of her vibrant personality. " Wow ! Did Billy Butcher low-key agree that I'm nice ? " She looks towards the house, then adjusts her purse strap on her shoulder. " You know, can't say I blame Ryan for being terrified of his powers. It is very understandable. I'll do everything I can to help him, I promise. " Determined to help the young boy as much as she can while here and away from Vought. " Please, I am nothing but patient. I mean... " Eyes flickering from the house to Butcher for a second before stepping forward. " ... Look who I deal with back at Vought. Being co-captain and... " AND HOMELANDER'S FAKE GIRLFRIEND meant having to learn to be patient, finding her inner Jesus Christ is the most excellent way to put it, all thanks to her controlling, immature, psychotic, narcissist, threatening fake boyfriend. Butcher didn't know how patient Annie could be—clearing her throat. " ... I got this. Trust me. I- do you want to take me inside so I can see him ? "   

@thcrealheroes / CONT.

     𝐚  𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭  𝐨𝐟  𝐡𝐢𝐦  𝐰𝐚𝐬  𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥  𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝  𝐬𝐡𝐞  𝐰𝐚𝐬  𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬,     that  she  was  standing  across  from  here,  willing  to  help  ryan  in  a  way  that  he  couldn't  and  helping  him  keep  his  promise  to  rebecca.     in  making  sure  that  ryan  wouldn't  end  up  like  homelander,  he  needed�� her  help  to  help  him  learn  and  control  his  powers.     as  much  as  he  dislikes  supes,  he  would  do  anything  for  ryan  and  he  didn't  have  anyone  else  that  they  could  possibly     𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭     to  do  this.     hughie  had  always  spoke  so  highly  of  starlight,  he  was  the  reason  that  butcher  had  even  considered  this  because  he  trusted  hughie  and  if  he  really  thought  that  starlight  could  be  trusted,  he  had  to  go  with  that.     he  was  completely  aware  of  the  risk  he  was  asking  her  to  take,  especially  considering  how  closely  she  had  to  work  with  homelander.     the  one  person  who  could  absolutely  not  know  what  they  were  doing  here.     it  had  a     𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥     year,  though  he  was  positive  that  homelander  had  spent  most  of  the  year  searching  for  ryan,  but  he  still  hadn't  found  them  and  it  needed  to  stay  that  way.     butcher  would  do  anything  to  make  sure  ryan  could  grow  up  in  a  way  that  rebecca  had  wanted,  she  just  wanted  the  best  for  him  and  he  had  always  been  bad  at  keeping  promsies,  but  this  was  a  promise  he  wanted  to  keep.

     𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞  𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬  𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥  𝐚𝐬  𝐬𝐡𝐞  𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬  𝐮𝐩  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭,     knowing  he  definitely  deserved  the  way  she  reacted  to  him  because  she  absolutely  had  every  reason  to  not  like,  not  trust  him  and  honestly,  he  was  shocked  she  was  here.     she  didn't  owe  him  anything  and  it  was  just  further  proof  that  she  was  just  a  good  person.     but  he  was  being  geninue  in  saying  that  he  appreicated  that  she  was  here  and  if  she  was  going  to  keep  showing  up  like  this,  he  could  at  least  agree  to  not  be  consistently  arguing  with  her.     butcher  sighs  softly,  looking  around  the  surrounding  area  as  he  nods,     "     he's  doing  okay  as  he  can  be.     i  know  he  misses  his  mom  more  than  anything.     he  keeps  having  nightmares     .     .     .     about  you  know  who,     "     he  admits  softly  because  it  was  the  one  thing  he  couldn't  keep  him  safe  from,  he  couldn't  keep  ryan  from  his  own  fears  and  his  own  mind.     he  could  do  everything  else,  he  could  keep  moving  him  from  place  to  place,  he  could  fight  to  his  last  breath,  but  he  couldn't  protect  ryan  from  his  own  nightmares.     he  hated  seeing  him  cry  and  shout,  knowing  becca  would've  been  so  much  at  comforting  than  he  was,  but  he  was  really     𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠     his  best  out  here.     he  never  thought  he  would  be  a  good  dad,  but  he  was  trying  to  do  whatever  ryan  needed  from  him  and  he  definitely  wasn't  perfect,  but  the  two  of  them  had  each  other  and  it  had  helped  him  not  be  completely  consumed  by  grief.

     𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠  𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫  𝐚𝐭  𝐡𝐞𝐫  𝐟𝐨𝐫  𝐚  𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭,     seeing  that  smile  on  her  face  and  just  taken  back  by  how  beautiful  she  is.     nope,  absolutely  not.     he  could  not  afford  to  be  distracted  and  think  like  that.     she  was  here  to  help  ryan  and  that  was  it.     nodding  his  head,  running  his  hand  through  dark  hair,     "     yeah,  he  does.     i  told  him  that  you  were  coming,  he  remembered  you  from  that  day     .     .     .     said  you  seemed  nice,  which  i  guess  he's  not  wrong  about,     "     he  smirked,  an  almost  playful  tone  to  his  voice  as  he  looked  away  from  her  again.     butcher  didn't  like  admitting  when  he  was  wrong  or     𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐞𝐝     help,  but  it  was  obvious  that  he  didn't  know  what  it  took  to  help  ryan  with  his  powers,     "     he's  inside  with  grace  right  now.     he's  scared  of  his  powers,  he  hates  them  and  fuck,  if  he  chooses  to  never  use  them,  i'm  fine  by  that.     but  he  knows  he  needs  to  learn  to  control  them,     "     butcher  tells  her,  knowing  becca  would  be  happy  that  he  was  doing  this,  she  wanted  ryan  to  not  be  like  homelander  and  he  was  trying  to  make  sure  that  happened,     "     just  be  patient  with  him,  yeah?     kid's  been  through  enough,     "

[barnesafterglow]

all you need (epilogue)

summary: just after finishing college and your first novel, you meet bucky barnes - a friend of a friend, a publisher, and hopefully something more

pairing: publisher!bucky x author!reader

word count: 1.1k

chapter warnings: explicit language i think, implied smut, generally fluffiness, they are my favorite couple ever

a/n: i finally reached into the depths of my brain and pulled out this epilogue, which has been haunting me for weeks now. it's just something short and sweet, and hasn't been proofread by me (not surprising) or anyone else (incredibly surprising) so if it's shit just ignore that ;)

i'm so thankful for this journey and everyone who has joined and encouraged me. i appreciate you all so much!

series masterlist | main masterlist

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The next year and a half went by in a whirlwind, with a lot of travel back and forth between Boston and Brooklyn. There were points where you ended up staying with Bucky for weeks at a time - not that either of you minded.

You had fallen into a whirlwind romance after that weekend, and you were hopelessly in love with him. It had only taken you a couple months to say so, considering you basically confessed it on your very first night together, but it was special all the same.

He had taken you to the diner one night that you were in town, and his dad and sister were there - your first time meeting them. You had gotten on thick as thieves with Becca and his dad had pulled him aside to tell him how much he liked you, and that he hoped he wouldn’t let you get away.

On the walk home that night, he had said it so softly you thought you were hallucinating, so you pulled him to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk and turned his shoulders to face you.

“Can you repeat that, so I know I’m not dreaming?” You had said, causing him to laugh.

“I. Love. You,” he replied, punctuating each word with a kiss until you were laughing along with him.

“I love you too, Buck, more than I ever thought possible.”

Him, being an absolute charner, quite literally swept you into a kiss, dipping you like you were some kind of princess - much to the chagrin of the straggling bypassers. You came up out of breath and giggling like a schoolgirl, not thinking twice before pulling him the last couple blocks to his apartment, up the stairs, and into the bedroom.

–

It had been almost three months since the last time you had seen Bucky.

Wanda and Nat had taken a trip for their anniversary, he had come down to take advantage of your empty apartment. But since then, the two of you had been so busy - him, signing new authors and you, working on your next book - that neither of you had had a chance to make the drive.

So you were sitting in your apartment, alone for the night, split between writer’s block and looking for a new apartment - your girls really needed their own place - when you heard a knock on the door.

Confused, you cautiously made your way to the door, not expecting anyone; there was no way Natasha would ever forget her keys.

You grabbed a knife from the kitchen counter and held it out as you looked through the peephole.

Then you practically threw it back onto the counter once you realized it was Bucky on the other side of the door.  You flung it open, more than excited to see him, but stopped when you hugged him and he didn’t reciprocate.

Taking a step back, tears already filling your eyes, you began to think the worse, but stopped when you saw the same adoring look that had shone in his eyes for over a year now. And then your eyes flitted down to what he was holding in his hands.

“Is that -?” Tears sprang to your eyes, in excitement and disbelief.

“Oh yeah, I heard this really hot author lives here. Do you think I could get her autograph?” He held out the book to you - your book. The very first finished copy.

You took it gently from his hands, turning it over; it was perfect. From the vibrant colors of the cover, to the portrait on the back that you had spent hours agonizing over, it was everything you could have hoped for and more.

You launched yourself at him, arms wrapping around his large frame and clinging to him. He caught you with a small huff, before grabbing your legs and wrapping them around his waist, making sure you were flush against him.

After peppering kisses all over his face, you realized you were still practically standing in the hallway, and let yourself down before gesturing for him to follow you inside. The two of you settled onto the couch and you decided to ask Bucky his thoughts on the few apartments you had been looking at.

At that, his face flushed and he started to get nervous, hands fidgeting in his lap. You reached over to stop his anxious movements by taking his hands in your own.

“Bucky?” you questioned, wanting to sooth him while simultaneously trying to keep your own thoughts in check.

“The uh- the book isn’t the only reason I’m here, sweetheart.” You looked at him expectantly, and he cleared his throat before continuing. “I was actually wondering if you had thought about moving to Brooklyn and, well, if you had, if you would consider moving in with me, maybe.”

He finally looked up to see your reaction, and a grin had split across your face so wide it was impossible for him not to match it.

You once again launched yourself at him, knocking the both of you off the couch onto the floor. Showering him in kisses, you made sure to tell him yes, a million times yes.

–

Leaning against the stack of boxes, you stopped to catch your breath.

You and Bucky had decided to start fresh and get an apartment together, instead of you just moving in with him, and after a full weekend you finally had everything moved from your respective apartments.

Although Wanda and Nat were sad to see you go, they were more than happy to finally have an apartment all to themselves, and you felt the same about Bucky. They had come down to help move some things and you had all gone out to dinner, but they had left a couple hours earlier, leaving you and Bucky alone to settle in.

You had moved to your shared office, putting up books on the shelves, when he came in carrying two cups of tea - it had really grown on him in the time you were together.

“Let’s go sit in our living room, I finally got the TV set up.” He held out one of the cups to you, wiggling his fingers after you grabbed it in a sign for you to take his hand. You did, hesitantly, a questioning look on your face.

“Don’t we need to finish unpacking some more?” you asked.

“A wise woman once told me all you need is a good cup of tea.”

You smiled warmly at him, so content with where your life had come since that cold October afternoon over a year ago. His expression matched yours, and you knew he was thinking the same thing.

“Bucky, all I need is tea, and you.”

taglist *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

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[justkeeponsimming]

4-PO: “Esme, I think Father Winter has come and gone…”

Esme’s eyes widen as the family servo, 4-PO, shares the sad news that Father Winter has already visited. She hurries into the barn and sees piles of presents around the Winterfest tree, no Father Winter in sight. Well…that’s really sad! Esme wanted to speak to Father Winter and get some guidance from him, as it’s a tradition that he gives hints for the future to the family.

Everyone gathers round to open their gifts. The children and teens get a range of electronics and toys, traditional gifts of the season. Grandma Desiree gets a voucher for a posh restaurant in the city for date night for her and her girlfriend, Becca. 4-PO gets some new paint brushes and Dilan and Lydia get gifts for their new daughter, Willow.

Esme has to search deep beneath the tree to find her gift. She pulls out a small box,vibrant red with a glittering gold bow around it. She turns over the label and sees Father Winter has left her a note - “follow your heart, your future awaits…”

Opening the box, Esme sees a stack of one thousand simoleons and a gold coin. That’s odd, Father Winter has never given money before.

Looks like Esme has an adventure to go on after she’s said goodbye to her family!

[amanda-glassen]

I posted Cora.. and now have a request for Becca being soft with Ser Bear 🥺🥺🥺

Yes, baby, you deserve all the soft Beccarena. 🥺

Becca didn’t consider herself particularly nurturing, but when her Ser Bear needed her she was willing to drop everything to take care of her. With Jamie at work and Olivia at school, Serena was home alone in bed.

Even before the arrangement she had with the two of them, as Serena’s best friend she was given a key to their apartment in case of an emergency. Having cramps wasn’t exactly an emergency, but it was the perfect excuse to take care of her Ser Bear so she brought her some cranberry tea and a heating pad to make her feel better.

When she arrived, she saw her usually vibrant woman lying in bed and wincing. “Hi,” Serena quietly greeted her.

“You okay, baby?” Becca asked although she already knew the answer.

“Cuddle me?”

Becca couldn’t resist the pleading look in Serena’s eyes. She plugged in the heating pad and handed it to Serena before changing into some pajama pants and one of Jamie’s t-shirts so she could lie in bed and cuddle her girl. “Your Becca is here,” she said as she held her. “Did you take something already?”

Serena just nodded, her eyes still closed, and it broke Becca’s heart to know that she was hurting so much. “It’s okay, baby. You don’t have to say anything. I’m just going to hold you and if you need anything I’ll get it for you.”

“Thank you, baby,” Serena said just loud enough for her to hear. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Ser Bear.” Becca cuddled into her as close as she could, placing delicate kisses on her shoulders. “Wanna know when I first fell in love with you?”

“You’re in love with me?” Serena asked playfully.

“Shut up,” Becca laughed. “If you weren’t in pain, I’d tickle torture you right now.” Serena turned around to face her and Becca couldn’t stop smiling when she saw her. Her curly hair was in a messy ponytail and she could see the freckles on Serena’s face that were usually hidden underneath her foundation. Becca considered this as Serena at her most beautiful and, just as she did at 19 when she first held Serena, she wanted to spend forever in this moment.

Serena cuddled closer so she could kiss her. “Was it the same moment that I first fell in love with you?”

“I didn’t believe in love at first sight until you showed up at the sorority house,” Becca began to say as she tucked some stray curls behind Serena’s ear. “Everyone was so excited about you Rushing. We all knew you were the granddaughter of an actress and the daughter of a model and a movie producer. You were the most sought-after Rushee. And when we saw you, you were everything we expected you to be. You were in this Dolce & Gabbana tiered mini skirt, a vintage sweater that belonged to your grandma in the ‘40s, and a pair of Salvatore Ferragamo heels. You looked so beautiful, Serena...so poised and sophisticated. You were only 18 but you had this Old Hollywood charm and glamour about you that made us all feel like we were watching one of your grandma’s movies. I was so enamored with you.”

“I think you still are,” Serena reached for her hand so she could lace her fingers with Becca’s.

“And then when all the Rushees were going upstairs to tour the house, you tripped over one of the stairs and completely ate it. I don’t know what shocked the executive board more－the sight of blood dripping from your mouth or the slew of obscenities that followed. I took you to the ER and in those few hours that we were there I got to know the real Serena and I fell in love with her.”

“Beck,” Serena turned up the setting on the heating pad and Becca could tell she was trying to take her mind off of her cramps.

“Baby, if this is too－”

“No,” Serena interrupted. “I’m fine. I just－why didn’t you ask me out in college? Why didn’t you make me your girlfriend instead of just hooking up with me?”

“You know how my family is,” Becca averted her eyes. “They’re okay with me marrying men twice my age solely for the money but heaven forbid I marry the woman I love. Although, during my senior year, I said fuck it to my inheritance and was going to ask you out. I had this whole grand gesture planned that involved a scavenger hunt in our sorority house where I’d hide little gifts and clues that would lead to you and I being alone in our room and I’d tell you how I feel and ask you to be mine.”

“So what happened?”

“Emerson happened,” Becca gritted her teeth, trying not to cry. “He asked you out the day before I was supposed to. Had I not waited, he wouldn’t have done what he did to you. I think about that a lot. We would have still been at that party, but he wouldn’t have taken you to his room. You would have been my girl and you would have been with me.”

“Beck, look at me,” Serena said as she cupped her face. “What he did to me isn’t your fault, baby. You and Olivia, more than anyone, helped me heal from that night. I love you so much, Becca. I know we tried to be together ten years ago, too, and it didn’t work. We were in our twenties and Olivia was in preschool and you just weren't ready. It was always the right person at the wrong time with us, but what matters is we’re together now.”

“Me, you, and our Jamieson,” Becca smiled at her and she couldn’t help noticing the soft look on Serena’s face at the mere mention of her wife. "Where would we be without our softie?”

“I don’t even want to think about life without her,” Serena leaned in to kiss her. “Without either of you. Can the three of us just be together for the rest of our lives?”

“Anything you want, Ser Bear,” Becca cuddled her. “We both want you so surrounded by love.”

No more than five minutes passed before Serena fell asleep in her arms. At 19, Becca wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but the way she loved her then couldn’t even compare to how she loved her now.

“Thank you for staying home with our Ser Bear.” a text from Jamie read.

Jamie, you softie. Becca smiled at the text. As much as she loved Jamie, she couldn’t help wishing she were the one married to Serena. It wouldn’t be fair to her, though. Serena was a mom and she wanted more children and Becca couldn’t see herself living a domestic lifestyle and being someone’s mom. All she wanted was her Serena and if she had to share her, she was more than willing to do so if it meant keeping Serena in her life. I love you, baby. You’ll always have me.

[myblueeyedbuggers]

My Boys

Chapter 12

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11  Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Pairings: Steve Rogers X Reader (Best Friend) Bucky Barnes X Reader

Word Count: 2420

Warnings: Slight bit of swearing

Summary: After being abandoned by her parents in Brooklyn in 1929, y/n makes a living for herself by working for the Црни лабуд gang until she meets two boys in a back alley and her life slowing begins to change.

Eyup My loves! Soo How’s your week been? Good I hope, so a bit of news for you all, there’s only  two/three more chapters left till this book is finished and then we’ll be moving onto (Drum roll) The First Avenger! Woooo! I hope you’re all as excited as I am. Anyways without anymore rambling, I give you chapter 12, enjoy!

So I can safely say that the rest of the week passed pretty quickly, with only a few ‘minor’ incidents, one of em being a massive food fight caused by yours truly and Steve getting himself stuck in the basement for 2 hours after seeing, and I quote ‘a possessed girl dressed as undead batman’.

I still haven’t told him that was me….oops

Apart from that it was pretty normal, cut to today where I’ve been blessed with the task of lookin’ after my best girl for Buck’s parents anniversary whilst they go into the city to celebrate, I mean it’s the least I could do for em. Plus, the last time the lads were trusted with lookin’ after Becca, Buck’s parents came home to the entire house covered in flour with Becca laughin’ at em cause they managed to lock themselves in a cupboard. We had to call the fire department to get em outta there.

Anyways, we kicked the boys outta the house so Becca and I could have a girls day in, now don’t get me wrong I absolutely adore this girl and I would practically do anything for her.

“Y/n can we play princesses please?! Mama got some dresses from our cousin we can wear!”

I can literally feel my soul burning right now. I honestly tried to say no, there’s nothing more I hate more that being forced into them things but one look into her bright little eyes made all my resistance die away and so I uttered the words that sealed my doom. “Of course, Becs only if we can have a tea party in em”. So here we are, me in a navy style party dress, lace covered my arms and the hem of the sweetheart neckline resting just on my collarbone,  the knee length satin skirt covered my legs.

Honestly, I wasn’t as bad I thought it were gonna be, I even let my hair outta the classic ponytail it’s always in so Becca could style it a tiny bit, to her credit she did a decent job. My h/c locks fell in small waves across my back, with the longer strands near my face tucked behind my ears and Becs even convinced me to pop on some of her mama’s makeup. Now I ain’t a fool, I know makeup’s pretty expensive and only let her pop on a shimmery light gold eyeshadow and some tinted lip balm, much to her disappointment I confiscated the mascara, I refused to let that death stick near my eyeballs.

Becca looked absolutely adorable, we’d managed to find her dance dress from last year and it suited her down to the ground. Baby pink lace covered her arms up to her wrist, the middle part had little gems dotted here and there with a pink satin ribbon separating the skirt from the top, from the looks of it the skirt was made outta some layered netting that poofed outwards when she span around. Don’t ask me how but I managed to wrap some ribbons in her braids and added a lil tiara on the top of her head and if you’d asked me, she looked like a real-life princess to me.

“So, your highness, what would one prefer to do? Would one like to have tea in the parlour or waltz in the ballroom?” my attempt at the British accent was apparently appalling, judging by the level of giggles coming outs Becca’s mouth. Eventually she calmed down enough to give me an answer “I think a waltz would be most fun lady y/n” she said in an equally bad accent. Slowly a smile spread across my face as I moved over to the record payer, I didn’t even pay attention to which one I put on before I turned back to Becca and offered her my hand, lowering myself into a bow that looked like a squid tryin’ to tap dance. Very elegant I know.  

You’d think after the past few weeks I’d been with the Barnes family, I’da got used to being tackled by the siblings, but alas I am surprised every-time, hence why I’m on the floor with a hyperactive 4 year old sat on top of me. Becca’s giggles filled the entire room, she quickly got off me and started jumping around to the sound of the jumpin’ jive and leaving me to slowly die on the floor, for all of 5 seconds before she yanked my arm outta my socket to get me dancing with her. I swear this girl isn’t even human, one second she’s sweet and delicate the next she’s bulldozing people to the ground and pullin’ em to the next life, I mean she’s 4 she shouldn’t be that strong!

Thank the lord she’s adorable. Quickly the music took over my mind, my feet moving along to the music, Becca was doin’ some twirls around me with the biggest smile on her face, I don’t know what made me do it but I grabbed her gently by the waist and spun us around in time to the music, her little arms reached into the air as we both laughed our heads off. Of course, me being me, I lost my balance and my butt suddenly met the sofa, with Becca landing next to me with a small yelp, it was quiet for all of 2 seconds before we burst out laughin’. Think it took us about 3 minutes before we calmed down, a comfortable silence fell between us, the music slowly faded to a stop as the record reached its end, and we stayed like this for a while before Becca broke the silence.

“Y/n, can you sing like mama? She don’t do it often cause it reminds her of my nana….” My eyes drifted over to Becs, her lil eyes dulled a little when she said it and now they were filled with a small glimmer of hope, and I really didn’t wanna be the reason for that light goin’ out. If I were being completely honest singin’ wasn’t something I ever wanted to do again, during my time with the Црни лабуд, singing was the only thing that made me feel like….well me I guess. It was the only sliver of light in so many years of darkness and once I was free from them I made myself a silent vow that I’d never do it again, that I was a new person. But one look in her little eyes was enough to make me break it. “I ain’t too bad, only know a couple of songs on the piano but I can try if you wanna”

Apparently Becca didn’t need to be told twice, in a flash of pink she was off to the other room, bellowing for me to follow her, I mean it ain’t like I gotta choice in the matter is it ? the sound of something hitting the floor in the room opposite me made me move even quicker (if that were even possible). Becca was stood in front of a oldish looking piano, a small bench was tuned over in front of her, and a white sheet was discarded on the floor next to her as she bounced up and down excitedly, I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I turned the bench over on it’s feet. Not even 2 seconds later Becca clambered up on it and looked at me with a bright smile, I swear she gets cuter every second like how does this happen ? I try it and I end up put away in a mental asylum.

“You got any requests princess ?” my legs carried me across the room and towards the seat, cracking my knuckles together and stretching out my fingers before turning to look at the younger lass, a look of concentration covered her face in response and it took her a few seconds to answer. “Dream a little dream of me ? think that’s what mama calls it” I swear I tried to stop the soft smile, but I really couldn’t help it this time. “sure sweetheart” and with that I hit the opening notes, the feeling of the keys under my fingertips were so familiar it was like no time had passed since I last played, I kept my voice soft and quiet as I sang. I think I was halfway through my second verse when I felt Becca cuddle into my side, she ducked her head under my arm and put her head in my lap, a soft yawn left her mouth as her eyes started to close to the sound of the music. It was at the end of the song that I looked at her again, soft snores escaped her mouth and her hand was grasping gently at the top of my skirt, I felt my heart melt even more that I thought possible, completely unaware of the small audience I’d gathered until a small cough came from behind me.

Aw shit…..

Bucky’s POV

If you’d told me a year ago, that after spending a couple of hours at Coney island with my best mate I’d come home to what must be an angels voice singing my sister to sleep. I’da never of believed ya, think you coulda imagined our confusion when me and Steve heard piano coming from the dining room. Steve shot me a look of pure bewilderment, and I couldn’t blame the guy to be honest, “thought you’d said your mama gave up piano couple a years ago”. I’m guessing my face mirrored his, cause I ain’t the slightest clue either, mama stopped playin’ years ago so who the heck could it be? “yeah she did bud, swore she’d never set her hands on it again…..”. I’m completely and utterly baffled at this point, where’s Y/n when ya need her ? she’d figure this out.

We both took a step towards the closed door, eager to know what the hell was going on when something stopped me, the sweetest sound I’d ever heard in my life sang along with the melody, I coulda sworn it sounded like the lullaby mama sang to us when we were kids. I guess I spent too long listening cause Stevie boy pushed past me and walked in, the sounds were so much clearer and more vibrant it felt like I’d died and gone to heaven right then and there. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I realised just who was creating this beautiful sound, there she was, sat in front of the piano as her fingers danced gracefully across the keys. Her voice, oh god her voice sounded like that of an angel, the weak afternoon sun shone over her hair and made her look even more angelic than humanly possible. I barely even noticed Becca asleep in her lap before Y/n finished her song and the ever-living pain in my ass decided to reveal that we were there. I mean he coulda chosen any other way of revealing our presence but no he had to let out the tiniest little cough, coulda got her back for the eyebrow incident….

Y/n literally went stiff as a board before she turned to look at us, her cheeks were red as a rose and a sheepish smile covered her face, it was only a couple of seconds after that both Steve and I noticed what she was wearing, he burst out laughin at her but me, I for once in my life couldn’t say a damn thing. She looked absolutely breath taking, her hair fell down in soft waves and framed her face, the shade of blue in her dress brought out the small flecks of green in her e/c eyes and brought out her hourglass figure. Her lips were drawn into a natural pout and it was that second it dawned on me she asked me somethin’….shit.  

“whaaaa…….” Nice one Bucky.

Steve, the lil punk, could barely stop himself laughin’, at some point he’d moved to take Becca off Y/n and stood behind y/n with his fist in his mouth to smother his laughter. My best friend ladies and gentlemen. If looks could kill he’d be 10 feet under right now.

“Buck ? I was askin’ if you were okay ?” Y/n’s face showed a tiny bit of confusion and much to my horror amusement, “YeAh I’m okay….” And just at the moment puberty strikes in the form of a voice crack, as if this weren’t embarrassing enough. At this point Steve was barely keeping it together, he had actual tears coming outta his eyes and went bright red in the face tryin’ to stop himsen laughing, in front of me y/n furrowed her eyebrows and did look genuinely concerned for my mental state. She didn’t say anything for a few seconds, just looked at me before she lifted her hand to my forehead and held it here for a minute, thank god Steve chose to leave the room before this or I’da never heard the end of it.

“You sure you’re okay, feelin’ a bit warm and ya actin weirder than usual Buck” okay quick say something before this gets even more embarrassing, first thing that pops into ya head in 3,2,1…

“Yeah I’m sure, think I ate somethin’ funky down at the pier, makin’ me real gassy”……why am I like this? Normally I can charm any girl of their feet but with y/n, I’ma bumbling mess.  She didn’t say a damn word, she just raised her eyebrows whilst a small smirk covered her face, before she turned and left me to have a very small breakdown underneath the dining table.

Meaning I let out a noise that sounded like a bear stubbing it’s toe in the middle of winter.

I thought my luck couldn’t get any worse, but nooo old lady luck decided today I needed a second helping, cause the second I did that Y/n walked back into the room. Brilliant. I was too busy stumbling over my words to processes what she was doin’, before I knew it she’d walked back to me and stood on her tip toes….then planted a small kiss on my cheek.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered Barnes”

And just like that, she left me with my jaw on the ground and heart beatin’ outta my chest, cause I’m starting to think that she was right. I’m sure as hell coming down with something, and I’m pretty sure it ain’t a regular ol’ bug…..

SOOO, if you got this far hope you enjoyed it, as always any feed back or constructive criticism is welcome, thank so much for reading and hope you have a great day/night/week.

lots of love

Rose xxx

[steverogersbingo]

✨ STEVE ROGER BINGO’S ROUND UP - POST 1 ✨

Check out the fills our participants posted from the first month under the cut!

🎨 ART

heaven isn't in the sky (it's underwater) by agron T // Steve/Tony // Mermaids Summary: when steve went underwater he was discovered by three mermaid tony stark instead

Untitled by ABrighterDarkness G // Steve/Bucky // Alpine Summary: Steve and Bucky get distracted, Alpine enjoys every minute.

Space Stone by AriaFandom G // Gen // Moodboard Summary: Galaxy aesthetic for the space stone

Untitled by sanguineterrain G // Gen Summary: Magical, canon-divergent Steve

Untitled by call-me-kayyyyy G // Steve/Bucky // AU; Fantasy; Loin-cloths Summary: Steve and Bucky are elf's who ride their unicorns to check the perimeter.

Steve Rogers becomes Cernunnos by pinkybitesu T // Gen // AU Summary: Steve had always felt connected to the Earth. Becoming the God of the Forest, Cernunnos, made it all make sense.

"That Is America's Ass." by bleedxblack T // Steve/Bucky Summary: Steve Rogers straddles Bucky's waist with booty shorts that read "it ain't gonna spank himself".

📝 FIC

Clean Up These Bloody Fists by dontcallmebree E // 8,657 // Steve/Bucky // Shrunkyclunks; Mob AU Summary: Bucky can’t decide if Steve’s unendingly generous with his care for those around him, or if Bucky’s simply been lucky enough to scale the wall built up over decades, and had somehow proven himself worthy of the affection. Either way, he knows he’ll never take this for granted. Spend some time with Steve and Bucky this week in the perpetually fluffy ‘verse of Do The Things You Never Showed Nobody.

Scars by Kimberly T // 1,888 // Steve/Bucky // Post-CATWS Summary: The serum means that Steve can't scar anymore, though he's retained his pre-existing scarring. While in the hospital recovering from the fight on the helicarrier, Steve does a little introspection about this. It's bittersweet.

Without Regret by ABrighterDarkness E // 5,284 // Steve/Thor Summary: It had been a very long time since Steve had last felt like this. There was a buzz in his mind and tingling through his body. His movements were just slightly slower, clumsier and his were words spoken a little more loosely with a tongue that felt more weighty than it ought to. Even that, though, felt different than the last time that he’d had the opportunity to overindulge with a friend.

Love and Learning by ABrighterDarkness T // 7,746 // Steve/Natasha Summary: It reminded him, a little bit, of stepping into a machine seeing everything in varying shades of grey. Only to stumble out again into a world of color more vibrant than anything he could have possibly imagined. Overwhelming but entirely breathtaking and welcome.

Good by hawkeyeandthewintersoldier T // 1,062 // Steve/Bucky/Tony Summary: Steve returns to the compound and finds that the two men he loves, but never told his feelings to, are a couple now.

Lie to Me by Kit T // 2,102 // Steve/Bucky // Body Swap Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Steve and Natasha end up trapped in the others body. Instead of telling everybody, they make a bet. Who will be able to conceal their identity the longest?

Dream a Little Dream of Me by buckybleeds E // 5,719 // Steve/Bucky // Dub-con; Self-cest Summary: Steve goes back in time to comfort himself after Bucky fell and ends up having sex with himself. 

Pride by Kit T // 1,726 // Steve/Bucky Summary: Tony wants to take Steve to pride to watch him freak out. Natasha tags along to do damage control.

Take Care of You by hawkeyeandthewintersoldier M // 1,756 // Steve/Bucky // Daddy Kink; Age Difference; AU Summary: Steve has been so busy with his work as a commander at shield lately, that he has barely had time for his partner Bucky. Bucky’s worried his Daddy might not want him anymore and Steve has to rectify this by showing how much he loves his baby.

Love Has Left a Printed Trace by Girl_Back_There E // 1,726 // Steve/Bucky // Vampires; Dub-con Summary: Steve is obsessed with finding a mysterious figure named Winter in paintings throughout the years. James is a Vampire named Winter charged with keeping Vampires a secret from humanity.

with the weight of the world at the tips of my fingers by avintagekiss24 E // 4,420 // Steve/Reader // AU Summary: You and Steve share a morning in bed.

Always You by hawkeyeandthewintersoldier M // 1,691 // Steve/Bucky // AU Summary: After a year of traveling, Steve finally comes home and confesses his feelings to Bucky.

Stop the World by Rex E // 6,828 // Steve/Scott // AU Summary: When Steve got hired to entertain at Cassie Lang's thirteenth birthday party, he had thought it was going to be like every other kid's party he'd booked. He'd show up, play Captain America, get paid, and go home. He never quite gets to that last step, but to be fair, there was no way he could have anticipated the draw of Scott Lang.

Always by Rex G // 437 // Steve/Matt Murdock // Canon Divergence Summary: Even the Devil of Hell's Kitchen needs an angel from time to time. This one just happens to be from Brooklyn.

Glass by Rex M // 859 // Gen // Non-graphic torture; Implied non-con; Referenced suicide Summary: "We'll lose." "Then we'll do that together, too." Sokovia crashed, Ultron won, and he always had hated Tony the most.

We are already home by Bitters E // 4,948 // Steve/Bucky Summary: Steve carries an injured Bucky through a portal into…somewhere else? But they’re together, like they always have been, and that’s all that matters.

end of the line, time to go home. by moonythejedi394 M // 3,484 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence; Daddy Kink; Age Play/Regression Summary: Steve and Bucky always said they were together 'til the end of the line. But even they have to get off the train eventually. Everybody always figures, at the end of the line is... Y'know. The End. But actually, at the end of the line is happily ever after. It just took them a few decades and a couple suitcases of trauma to get there.

Not Technically A Bromance by dontcallmebree M // 8,657 // Steve/Bucky Summary: “A bromance?” Bruce asks, voice tinged with restrained laughter. “Yeah, we have one of those.” Steve glowers at Bruce, who’s patently laughing at him, eyes bright and twinkling with mirth. Bruce composes himself, biting at his bottom lip. “And you’ve had sex how many times?” (Inspired by that tweet, you know the one.)

At the Top of My Lungs by ralsbecket T // 1,646 // Steve/Tony Summary: Two months had passed since Tony had lost his life; since they had laid him to rest six feet under. It was two months of trying to keep his world from further falling apart, and it wasn’t really working in his favor. So, no. No, he wasn’t okay.

Thor’s Art Class for the Heroes of Midgard by WinterSabbath T // 6,338 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence Summary: In which Thor makes it his mission to help mend the broken, cold relationship between Steven and James through the only way he can think of: Art class. As a bonus, he also helps the team loosen up.

So Let It Happen by Bitters E // 2,287 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence Summary: Steve comes home from a tough mission and needs to get out of his head. His husband and retired Avenger is only too happy to help him with this.

Made of Glass (The Way You See Through Me) by ralsbecket T // 1,132 // Steve/Tony // AU Summary: Steve wasn’t sure what came over him when the model walked out from the back room, wearing a robe; from the moment his eyes landed on his face, he was just… awestruck. Dark hair, bright eyes, full lips. He was fucking beautiful. Or, the one where Tony is the model in Steve's life-drawing class.

for your cooperation by xceru E // 3,145 // Steve/Nat // Canon Divergence Summary: Hydra kidnaps Natasha on a routine mission in Cairo. When Steve finds her, Natasha decides that it's his turn to play prisoner.

my heart in the still winter air by xceru E // 11,887 // Steve/Bucky/Nat // Canon Divergence Summary: “He will,” Steve says, and suddenly Natasha understands. This is the man that Steve altered his heart for, the one he thought only the serum could love. But now Steve knows better—he knows he’s bisexual—he knows his love is real, and the man that it belongs to is undead.

Won't Let Go by afalsebravado E // 2,358 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence Summary: Steve is on the hunt for the Winter Sold-- Bucky. He's on the hunt for Bucky when the leads dry up and he heads home to regroup. But a package from Tony Stark arrives on his doorstep and makes him re-evaluate old promises.

The Truth of Who I Am by hawkeyeandthewintersoldier T // 1,203 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence Summary: Steve Rogers is not a cis straight man and he is tired of people erasing that and other parts of his identity so he fits into the image they already had of him.

Bruise of a Rose by marvelousmoons G // 1,710 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence Summary: It’s moments like this that get under his skin the most. The way Steve can just… be Steve. Be dramatic and give Bucky the cold shoulder for simply caring. But Bucky was stronger. He could play Steve’s game. He wouldn’t cave, no. He would sit and wait for the silence to overwhelm Steve first.

... And all I got was this lousy t-shirt by RainbowNerds M // 3,126 // Steve/Bucky // AU Summary: A month ago, Steve had the best sex of his life with a guy he met in a bar, and went home with the most hideous shirt he'd ever seen but no phone number. Enter his new roommate, Becca. The two instances are not connected, right?

Love you too, jerk by WinterRaven G // 636 // Steve/Bucky // Canon Divergence; Fanart included Summary: Steve makes breakfast for Bucky and their 'kids' help him wake up his husband.

[adowbaldwin]

‘Recasting, by Loreal’

Since ADOW have seemingly replaced our beloved Trystan, i have decided to kill off Baldwin. 

Also, if he has not been replaced, this feeling of hurt and anger at the prospect still stands.

Thankyou for the title idea @mercia-osborne​

Baldwin spluttered and choked on the blood curdling in his mouth, it was as if all the liquid he had ever consumed in his life had risen to the surface begging to spill free. He clawed at his neck, the touch of cut flesh folded between his fingers and he knew it was futile. Nothing would stop the bleeding, not now.

He could hear the faint shouts from his brother’s rasped voice though it was distant. All that felt close to him was the faint sound of buzzing; it was irritating. The hum had not calmed him, and his legs thrashed in defiance of the situation.

How could he die now? he had to ensure Becca was safe. She had been taken, and it was his duty to find her. He clambered to his shaky feet reaching out for what he thought was a wall to hold onto. The wall had turned out to be Gallowglass.

His Nephew looked sick, and Baldwin rolled his eyes as much as he could. Why were they all acting as if they cared now? they had a job to do, then he would die.

He pushed the man away and found his way back to Gerberts old dining room. The scrote had executed a plan to abduct Becca when he found out she came into her powers, and now they had rallied the knights to find her. They could all hear her cries coming from a distant room but they had to wade through his children first.

Matthew and Baldwin had obliterated two hundred of them in one foul swoop, now one remainder stood in their way. His movements were not quick, but they were effective. With one final swipe, the last son of Gerbert’s head came rolling off and Baldwin sank to his knees, falling forward.

His eyes caught the sight of Gallowglass bending over him, panicking as he tried to cover the spurting wound “Uncle, Uncle come on stay with me. you’ve got atleast another thousand years under your belt tae bully us all” Baldwin thought he saw a tear, but he could also see a dancing cabaret women juggling her tits over his nephew’s shoulder so he couldn’t be exactly sure.

He coughed and the motion gave way to more blood flowing “Becca” his throat made a choking noise as if he had swallowed his tongue

Matthew ran with the speed of a vampire to his brothers side, holding close his sniffling thirteen year old. Her head was buried in his shoulder unable to fathom what was happening to her favourite Uncy “Biscuit” he whispered her nickname one final time “Don’t weep for me” he tried to smile, to comfort her as she met his eyes. His hand found hers and he squeezed it as hard as he could “you can have all of my wine”

She blubbered, there was nothing in this world that he loved more then his wine, and she knew how special she must be to him to bestow such a gift onto her. It may seem odd to most, but that was about the most top level affection you could get from him. She would make sure to ‘treasure’ those bottles of Bordeaux as long as she could.

“Matthew” he croaked “Gallow-“ he spurted more blood, as unknown things started to spill from his nose. Could have been blood too, might have been a part of his liver. He couldn’t quiet tell. “try not to look so happy I’m dead”.

With one last, final dramatic cough his life flashed before him. He had heard stories this would happen, and did not think he would have the privilege of seeing such things. His brightest moments had been in Rome, under the command of the greatest man he ever knew; Philippe.

He fell into his fate dreamily, listening to the sobs of a girl he would certainly miss. When he closed his eyes to save those from a horrific sight, he took pleasure in knowing both his brother and nephew were crying.

Looks like he was a popular boy after all.

  There was a sudden strong scent of Narcissus and Amaranthus caudatus parading around his senses and he could feel under his touch the wet blades of fresh cut grass. The tree he had been leaning against was rough against his skin, though he enjoyed the sensation. The sound of chirping and preening echoed in his ears as a nearby Peacock nipped its feathers.

He had heard the stories of ‘heaven’ and thought them ridiculous. How could somewhere be so idyllic? He looked down at himself and chuckled, this was a look he had not sported in almost 2000 years; his lorica segmentate. His hands met the hilt of his Gladius and he sighed happily. He had unknowingly waited a long time for this, and now he had found his own perfect peace.

He stood, surveying his new ‘home’. In the furthest reaches there were stone pillars to a temple and a river that never seemed to end. The colours were as vibrant as they could be, as if it were nothing but perfection.

His heart stopped and his breathing slowed as he sensed him. It had been much too long, and he was not sure if he could face him yet “Lucius” his demanding voice called “Look at me”

Baldwin turned tentatively around to meet those deep, brown eyes he had long forgotten. He flickered his eyes over his frame taking in the sight of his father for the first time in decades “Father” his whisper barely heard over the incessant Peacock ruffling its feathers

Phillipe stepped closer, hoping not to startle him as if his strongest son was a baby doe “you look” his brows furrowed “different” he could not place it, nor the niggling feeling his son was much changes since he had seen him last

“Got a hair dye, 2000 years as a ginger took its toll” Baldwin retorted “you look a touch more bulky” he smirked much to his fathers disdain. Elysium had been more then delightful for Philippe, and his widening hips from all the wine had not gone unnoticed

Baldwin could not wait a second longer, and he broke the remaining distance. His arms gripped tightly to his beloved father as they embraced each other fondly. Philippe held as tightly as his son had, he had missed his favourite son the most. Of course, there was his darling Ysabeau but no child took root in his heart as Lucius had.

He pulled his sons face into his hands, bracing their foreheads together “No words fulfil the expression of how proud i am of you, Lucius” Baldwin had looked stunned, though said nothing “you lead our family in grievous times and became a better man for it” his hands gripped his shoulders “now, shall we join Hugh for some wine”

Lucius smirked “There isn’t perhaps any women in Elysium, is there?”

“Lots. And occasionally” Philippe’s voice lowered “there is war, too”

They grinned delightfully at each other, and practically skipped to the local heavenly bar.

Elysium didn’t quiet know what it was in for, in all honesty. Perhaps time spent in the Underworld would suit them both. Though, Elysium’s protectors had also wanted some entertainment, even if it came in the form of War, Women and Wine.

[bubblesgoboink]

homecoming (b.b)

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

word count: 1.1k+

summary: the one in which bucky reflects on his past life and his new home 

WARNINGS: mild angst, fluff, brief mentions of Hydra and PTSD

a/n: i haven’t written in soo long. i did sneak a couple taylor swift references in bc evermore is a masterpiece. enjoy :)

______________________________________________________________

Bucky was tired. Not the kind of tired one could sleep off, but instead, the kind of tired that weighs in every step that he takes and settles past the flesh and deep into his bones. Dull, aching pain in his ribs came with every ragged breath of the chilly afternoon air. The tinkling sounds of birds chirping as they flocked home for the day mingled with the crunching gravel under his bloodstained combat boots and heavy exhales as he trudged in a vague direction towards the safehouse. Overhead, the brilliant colors of the sunset had splashed across the azure canvas. As he glanced upwards, he couldn't remember the last time he had seen a sunset so vibrant. Deep orange hues of light stroked his sleep-deprived eyes as his memory transported him to the sandy beach of Coney Island. 

Pretty girls in floral sundresses with lightly blushed cheeks and tinkling laughs dancing to music from the boardwalk band. The sweet smell of cotton candy wafting through the air as Steve contently plucked pieces of his cotton candy while he wasn't looking. Steve only thought he wasn't looking, but when wasn't he looking after the frail man. 

The day he was drafted was etched in his memory deeper than any Hydra wiping device could reach. He remembers the feeling of his heart dropping to his stomach and the eerie chill that seeped into his body. He remembers the tear-filled, anxious ocean eyes that mirrored his own as he got shipped off into the salty daybreak wind. 

“I'm going to be okay, Steve.” That was an affirmation to soothe himself more than it was for Steve. 

Maybe it was the first time he was held captive in the Hydra base that something had changed from within him. As he lay strapped to the cot while scientists surrounded him, fading in and out of consciousness, Bucky dreamt of his walks on the pier with Steve. He dreamt of early mornings in their apartment making breakfast and eating over the sound of clinking utensils and that day's newspapers rustling. He dreamt of a world where boys didn't turn into men by leaving their beloveds and donning firearms. A world in which boys wouldn't have to see the final breath of their brothers in arms and silently mourn while marching into battle, knowing that their life may be next on the line. 

"Buck. Wake up." That was probably the last time he had been genuinely hopeful his life could turn around. He believed that whatever God was out there had listened enough to bring Steve to save him, and so anything could have happened. James Barnes, never a religious man but maybe he would have started going to church after the war. With his newfound hope, he followed the little guy from Brooklyn into the fight. 

Destiny was not built for Bucky Barnes's comfort and he realizes that as his fingers slip off the railing on the side of the moving train. 

Steve. Becca. His ma. The 107th infantry. Dancing with a pretty girl at a jazz pub on a weekend night. His life flashed before his eyes as his body made contact with the unforgiving frozen ground, a resounding crack of bone echoed through the icy hills, and his dreams of post-war pursuits shattered along with his bone. 

Darkness.

Memories of his time as the Winter Soldier lapse at the edge of his recollection bank like waves on a deserted beach. Sometimes they were just little pinpricks flashes of an unknown setting, but other times, particularly at late hours of the night, he felt their hands shoving his chest down against the uncomfortable chair. The sound of hard metal clasping against his arm and holding him in place and his body would tense, prepared for the wipe. His body wasn't his. It was the graveyard of his handler's frustrations, hatred, and diabolic agenda. 

Even after having the trigger words removed by Princess Shuri, he couldn't help but feel apprehensive about opening up to others, holding everyone at arm's length so he couldn't accidentally hurt them in his altered state of mind. Love wasn't a word that existed in his vocabulary, much less an emotion that he felt. He enjoyed Steve's presence and Sam's (occasionally), but he never felt secure enough to start the process of modern courtship. 

Fury had hand-selected a specialized agent from the LA branch of SHIELD to train with the Avengers for one of the larger recon missions. 

"Hello, I'm Agent 24, and it's very nice to meet you all."

It was as if she brought the West coast sunshine along with her. Everything from her pretty, warm eyes to her attitude captivated him. She was normal and dear God, all he had been yearning for was normalcy. He didn't speak many words to her but it was as if she could sense the energy around him. When she was around, his brows didn't furrow as much and his gaze was a bit softer. She never questioned the silence between them. Instead, she sought his company and frequently sat with him in silence while a movie quietly played in the background. 

The first time she touched him was in the compound kitchen in which she placed a gentle hand on his bicep as she passed by to put dishes in the sink. His breath must have noticeably hitched because she immediately pulled away and looked at him apologetically. The first time he touched her was during one of their first missions together, a quick squeeze of her hand to soothe her nerves before he jumped out of the Quinjet. When she came back on solo missions, his door would be her first stop every time and for him, hers. He never spoke of labeling it because he was afraid that he would be closing his metal fist over something angelically delicate and shatter it. She seemed to understand his hesitance and never brought up the subject. 

He wants to tell her that she's invoked a feeling in him that in a century of being alive, he's never felt. He wants to tell her that she has made him want to be a better man.  

The safehouse comes into sight as the final rays of daylight disappeared. The wooden boards of the patio creak under his weight as he approaches the door. Sticking his metal hand in one of the many compartments of his tactical vest, he fishes out a small metal key, which he promptly sticks into the keyhole. He pushes the door open and breaths a sigh of relief.

"Hi, Buck."

He sees her face and he knows he's finally come home. 

[jeremystrele]

Seven Local Kids Design Brands We Can’t Get Enough Of!

Seven Local Kids Design Brands We Can’t Get Enough Of!

Shopping

by Amelia Barnes

Selection of V. Happy Co Alphapics Prints in A2 and A3. Plant and planter by Ivy Muse. Lockers by Mustard Made. Floor cushions by Sage x Clare. Taco by Make Me Iconic. Bag/key tags by V. Happy Co. Burger greeting card on locker by V. Happy Co. Photo – Amelia Stanwix. Styling – Paige Anderson. Art direction – V. Happy Co

V. Happy Co Alphapics Letter G Print + Letter C Print. Timber bed by Plyroom. Bed linen and Mathilda Crochet Cushion by Sage x Clare. Locker by Mustard Made. Wire basket on top of locker by Mustard Made. Letter B Bag Tag (on locker) by V. Happy Co. Oval Play Mat in Sage by jnr.life. Hot Chips Tall Lunch Bag by Doo Wop Kids. Floor cushions by Sage x Clare. Photo – Amelia Stanwix. Styling – Paige Anderson. Art direction – V. Happy Co

Letter B Print by V. Happy Co. Plyroom Ava Cot. Plyroom Dedo Wooden Storage Box. Linen and cushions by Sage x Clare. Mustard Made ‘The Shorty’ Locker. Doo Wop Kids Trucks Tall Lunch Bag. Plant and planter by Ivy Muse. jnr.life play mats and shapes. Letter A Bag Tag by V. Happy Co. Make Me Iconic Healthy Tummy Brekkie. Photo – Amelia Stanwix. Styling – Paige Anderson. Art direction – V. Happy Co

Whether you have kids of your own, or just occasionally buy gifts for other little people in your life, it’s always handy to be across the latest and greatest brands for kids.

From personalised art prints to Melbourne-made furniture, there are so many fantastic options currently on offer. These seven brands are just a handful of our local favourites!

Selection of V. Happy Co Alphapics Prints. jnr.life Play Mat (oval, rust), Play Mat (round, linen); Play Room Mate (gull/lobster); Play Go Round (ocean and gull) Play Arc (cloud). Mustard Made Wire Basket. Make Me Iconic Loose Change Binoculars. Make Me Iconic Healthy Tummy Brekkie. Photo – Amelia Stanwix. Styling – Paige Anderson. Art direction – V. Happy Co

Playmat in Sage by jnr.life. Photo – courtesy of jnr.life

New V. Happy Co Art Print – Robot Face Print (800mm x 1200mm, available framed for Melbourne pick up). Mustard Made ‘The Skinny’ Locker. jnr.life Play Mat (oval, rust); Play Room Mate (gull/lobster); Play Go Round (ocean and gull) Play Arc (cloud).  Make Me Iconic Loose Change Paddle Ball. Letter A Bag Tag by V. Happy Co. Photo – Amelia Stanwix. Styling – Paige Anderson. Art direction – V. Happy Co

jnr.life

In a market saturated by clutter, Nikki Davis and Ashleigh Pyke saw an opportunity to enter the children’s interiors space with a more sophisticated and considered design approach.

Their label, jnr.life launched in 2018 with high quality quilted play mats, but their latest venture is jnr.play – a collection of soft play-shapes made in Melbourne for both indoor and outdoor fun.

‘We create useful play essentials for junior life (right from birth) that nurture the imagination and encourage play without forsaking a stylish sensibility suited to grown-up environments,’ says Ashleigh.

These are the kind of kids toys you’ll proudly keep on display in the home, and can even double as furniture.

‘We design for tots but appeal to a contemporary aesthetic with uncompromising detail and durable, premium textiles,’ says Nikki.

jnrlife.com

Maxi Round World Map Backpack by Doo Wop Kids. Letter E Bag Tag by V. Happy Co. Photo – Amelia Stanwix. Styling – Paige Anderson. Art direction – V. Happy Co

Photo – courtesy of Doo Wop Kids

Doo Wop Kids

Sydney-based label Doo Wop Kids are bringing personality to gender-neutral kids fashion with their printed clothing, backpacks, hip packs, lunch bags, and handbags.

‘Doo Wop Kids create products that allow children to express themselves through bright colours, fun prints and loud patterns – without any rules,’ says Wendy Zakaria, who founded the label in 2015.

‘As a brand, we align ourselves to further the freedom of individuality and creativity within our children.’

With prints ranging from ‘70s inspired florals, to cheeseburgers, ramen, and world maps, Doo Wop Kids’ pieces are sure to make you smile. Items are made in both Australia and Indonesia.

doowopkids.com.au

Aussie Food Set by Make Me Iconic. Photo – courtesy of Make Me Iconic

Mustard Made ‘The Lowdown’ Locker. V. Happy Co Letter E Print. Letter E Bag Tag (on locker) by V. Happy Co. Australian Ute by Make Me Iconic. Australian Stacking Burger by Make Me Iconic. Plant and stand by Ivy Muse. Photo – Amelia Stanwix. Styling – Paige Anderson. Art direction – V. Happy Co

Make Me Iconic

After 10 years living in Europe, Natasha Skunca returned to Melbourne and realised the gap in the market for stylish souvenirs depicting local icons.

‘The city has so much to offer that is unique, stylish, and contemporary and I wanted something in our home that brought those elements to life,’ says Natasha.

A decade later, her label Make Me Iconic is still going strong, and has evolved from tea towels, cushions and artwork to also offer beautiful, wooden toys. Amongst their best sellers are remakes of the Australia Post street mailboxes and Melbourne’s famous yellow and green trams.

‘Our wooden toys also simply don’t go out of style, and tend to be more timeless… [They] keep kids busy and they are actually doing some serious learning right before your eyes,’ says Natasha.

There’s also non-Melbourne specific souvenirs for those based elsewhere in the country – such as glass ornaments, wooden versions of Arnotts biscuits, and sequinned accessories.

makemeiconic.com

Selection of V. Happy Co Alphapics Prints. Taco by Make Me Iconic. Locker by Mustard Made. Photo – Amelia Stanwix. Styling – Paige Anderson. Art direction – V. Happy Co

Letter A Print Alphapics Print by V. Happy Co. Photo – courtesy of V. Happy Co

V. Happy Co

V. Happy Co creates playfully designed art prints and more, to inspire both big and little folk.

Founded by designer Vanessa Perilli in 2019, PR expert and brand strategist Esther Navarro-Orejon joined the business in 2020.

Among their most popular products are the Alphapics prints – a unique illustrated alphabet to encourage language awareness, while also just looking great in any kids’ room! V. Happy Co also creates personalised art prints of kids’ names – the perfect gift for new parents. All products are proudly made in Australia.

V. Happy Co were the masterminds behind the now-postponed Happy House event… so stay tuned to their socials for the rescheduled date, as well as new products coming soon!

vhappyco.com

Mustard Made ‘The Shorty’ Locker in Mustard. Photo – courtesy of Mustard Made

Maxi Round World Map Backpack by Doo Wop Kids. Letter E Bag Tag by V. Happy Co Mustard Made ‘The Skinny’ Locker in Ocean. Letter A Bag Tag by V. Happy Co. Photo – Amelia Stanwix. Styling – Paige Anderson. Art direction – V. Happy Co

Mustard Made

We’re big fans of Mustard Made – makers of colourful lockers for kids bedrooms, playrooms and adult spaces alike!

Lockers are available in a range of sizes to serve as versatile storage solutions. The Twinny for example makes for an ideal wardrobe, The Lowdown can be a TV console, and The Shorty is a bedside table alternative. The only problem is choosing a favourite colour!

‘Our lockers are designed to be simple, beautiful, and above all, super versatile, no matter how big or small you are,’ says Becca Stern, who co-founded Mustard Made with her sister Jess Stern in 2018.

‘It’s all in the little details, from the matching keyring to the flexibility of the shelves. We really want our lockers to last so they can grow with you as your clothes get bigger.’

mustardmade.com

Letter B Print by V. Happy Co. Plyroom Ava Cot. Plyroom Dedo Wooden Storage Box. Linen and cushions by Sage x Clare. Mustard Made “Shorty’’ Locker. Doo Wop Kids Trucks Tall Lunch Bag. Plant and planter by Ivy Muse. jnr.life play mats and shapes. Letter A Bag Tag by V. Happy Co. Make Me Iconic Healthy Tummy Brekkie. Photo – Amelia Stanwix. Styling – Paige Anderson. Art direction – V. Happy Co

Plyroom Ava Lifestages Cot. Photo – courtesy of Plyroom

Plyroom

‘Thoughtful’ and ‘understated’ are not words commonly used to describe children’s furniture, but not all children’s furniture is created by Plyroom!

Among this label’s wider furniture collection are several pieces specifically designed to grow with children, and last a lifetime.

‘Children’s spaces are often cluttered and busy. Our pieces sit lightly in the space and create a natural canvas for calm,’ says Plyroom director and founder Elise Heslop.

‘As families grow and needs change, our pieces can adjust and adapt to growing children and spaces as life changes. The Ava Lifestages Cot (pictured), for example, is also a desk, junior bed, and two-tier cot.’

Plyroom products are made in Australia and Italy.

plyroom.com.au

Sage x Clare kids wares. Photo – Armelle Habib. Styling – Heather Nette King.

Photo – courtesy of Sage x Clare

Sage x Clare

A leap of faith saw Melbourne based designer Phoebe Bell found Sage x Clare in 2013, and she hasn’t looked back since!

The homewares, apparel and accessories label expanded to include a baby and kids range in 2017, offering a vibrant range of bed linen, cushions, wall hangings, blankets and muslin wraps.

‘Creating handcrafted pieces full of charm, colour, pattern and texture is the heartbeat of this brand,’ says Phoebe.

Sage x Clare’s soulful and textural wares are designed in Melbourne and made in India. ‘Each piece has such detail that it’s a joy to be surrounded by them,’ says Phoebe. ‘To hold these pieces in your hands and know that someone has learnt a time-honoured craft to create them is the most special feeling of all.’

sageandclare.com

[antivirus-mh-au]

Antivirus - Chapter 1

TW: None Ao3 mirror coming soon If you like this, please leave a like or send me an ask! Thank you.

He wrote the letter J on top of every cigarette carton he bought. Even in this half-lit patio, it was visible as he fished a cigarette out. There was only one left. Bringing the suicide stick to his mouth with one hand, Tim offered the pack to the young woman sitting on the other side of the small table. The woman hesitated, but shook her head, a hand wiping the tears away before she spoke.

“No, thank you,” she said. “Mama would kill me if she found out.”

Tim smiled, pulling the carton back.

“She misses you,” he said. “A lot.”

The young woman - a runaway, her name was Becca - looked down at the plastic table that sat between them.

“I can’t believe she did all this,” Becca said, her brown eyes watering again. “I can’t believe she did all this research… to find you, and… And actually pay for someone to…”

“My rates are good,” he said. “And there’s always business. You’re not alone in this. You never were.”

She swallowed, looking back at him through dark hair once dyed a vibrant gold. “So you’re sure…” Becca reached out for the bottle of pills on the table. “These pills, they’ll keep it away?”

“They did for me,” Tim said. “And they’ve done it for every person I’ve helped get prescribed to them.”

Her gaze turned away from the label on the orange bottle, back to him.

“I thought just meeting you could drive it away,” she said. “That’s what they all say online.”

Tim looked away, taking the time to light the cigarette. He inhaled death and blew out life as smoke, the hot Lousianna breeze carrying it far away. Shoving the lighter back into a pocket on his leather jacket, he looked back at the woman.

“Maybe I can,” he said. “Maybe it does avoid me. But do you want to take the chance and be wrong?”

Becca shuddered. “No. God, no. If these will stop the nightmares, I’ll take them all.”

He looked up at the sky, where the night sky struggled to show the stars above this generic rest stop of a small town. Three am and still the cars drove by past this motel, a river of molded metal and paint and plastic. Who knew where they were going. Who cared, either.

Tim exhaled. “You going to go back home?”

She swallowed, staring at the bottle in her hands.

“Is it really gone?” Becca asked.

Tim looked at her the same way he looked at all the other people he’d helped the past eight years.

“Yeah,” He promised. “It’s gone.”

Becca moved to rub her wet eyes again, but froze midway.

“Lukas,” she said.

Tim’s blood ran cold. He knew where this was going already.

“Lukas?”

“My friend. We’ve been riding together. He’s - he’s seen it too.” She looked between the bottle of pills and Tim, staring at her from across the table. “He left an hour ago. I need to text him and-”

“Stop.” Tim straightened. “Where was he going?”

“An - an old playground, it’s by this elementary school they don’t use anymore. He left his backpack there and-”

“Damn it,” Tim hissed. He threw the cigarette at his feet and ground the fire from it. “I’ll be - no.” He yanked the business card from another pocket on his jacket, followed by a pen. The name on the card read Timothy Kane for all to see. He handed them both to her. “Write down your phone number and the address of this school. I’ll call you when I find him.”

Becca scrambled for the pen, her fingers shaking.

“You don’t think.... He’s hurt? Do you?”

He took the business card but not the pen. He had more in his van.

“I’m going to find out,” Tim said.

In his van, he hit the steering wheel as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“Knew I was coming, didn’t you?” He said to the air. The disease didn’t, couldn’t, hear him. But that didn’t matter.

The Lukas guy had been gone for an hour, god knew what he’d gone through. He could be dead. Hurt. Had his brain scrambled like an egg, until he talked like a five year old and didn’t recognize his own mother. Did Lukas even have a mother?

Focus, focus. Tim caught a glimpse of himself in the rearview mirror, his eyes narrowed in the night. Focus, focus. He had a reputation to uphold. He had a standard. Tim Wright failed. Timothy Kane didn’t.

Someone had peeled the letters off the sign in front of the school. Kudzu and weeds swallowed the brick sign, cracking the fake marble and digging into the darkness inside. The parking lot behind it crunched under his tires, old dandelions flattening under his vehicle. Tim grabbed the flashlight from the passenger's seat before he left. There was no light for miles here, except for him.

Bugs swirled in the beam from his flashlight. Hot air flowed into his lungs. Sweat cooled on the back of his neck. Old gravel scraped under his boots. The rusted gate around the property lay on the ground with the weeds, and the metal barely squeaked when he walked over it. In front of him, the overgrowth choked the school entrance, plants falling over themselves to crush the brick and stone to dust. The front doors were gone. Tim stepped through.

They probably told ghost stories about this place, not that it kept the kids away. The fading murals on the wall were covered with graffiti, the glass wall that separated the front office from the entryway shattered, catching the light in every direction. What was probably a library stretched out on the far left side, the remaining bookshelves full of dust and cobwebs. On the right, a staircase, and open corridors that stretched into the darkness.

Tim exhaled.

“Where are you?” He whispered.

Someone screamed. His grip tightened on the flashlight. That was quick. Tim charged into the darkness.

“Leave me alone!” It must’ve been Lukas screaming. It found him first.

“Go away! It hurts! Stop it!”

He followed the scream past the old murals and graffiti, past the crossed out circles on the wall. The static rubbed against his skin, like touching an old television. He was getting closer.

“Stop! Stop!”

Auditorium. Probably the biggest room in the building. The roof caved in on the far side, exposing the already fading room to the light. Across from the door was a staircase with broken railings, and next to it… was It.

It hadn’t seen him, but It had to know he was here, watching It. After all these years, It never changed, Its appearance immortal, eternal, while he aged with life’s painful slowness. His heart still clenched when he saw It. His veins still chilled in Its presence. It didn’t look at him. The featureless head focused on the ground, at the man that writhed at Its feet. Tim inhaled, and stepped forwards.

Was it just him, that the air was colder now? Was it just him, that he could hear static ringing through his ears? His mouth dried, his heart shuddered. Human instinct demanded he run, but every step he took brought him closer to It. And even though every part of his body screamed, Tim wasn’t afraid. He’d lost that part of himself after doing this so long.

The words came from his mouth.

"Hey!"

There was no change, no reaction from the one on the floor, but the flat, vacant head moved. It turned, slowly, slowly, the suited body twisting towards the one that called out. It didn't have eyes but It looked back at him. It didn't have eyes, but It met his gaze.

Tim looked back.

"He's not yours," he said. "Leave him alone."

On the floor Lukas screamed, his hands wrapped around his head. He was shaking, he was crying in pain or fear. His leg was twisted the wrong way. But the Operator didn't move. It looked at Tim. It stood, and looked at him, as if It understood him. It tilted Its head. And with a feeling like emerging from deep underwater, it was gone. Tim gasped for air as if he'd surfaced.

Lukas stopped screaming. Tim, eyes wide, panting, looked at the man on the floor. The man looked back through teary eyes, his chest heaving with air.

"Christ," Tim said.

"Tim Wright?" Lukas asked.

"Timothy Kane." Tim stepped forward. "Becca's mother sent me."

"For real?" Lukas sucked in air, and coughed.

Tim kneeled down, looking the younger man over. "Your leg is broken," he said.

"The railing broke," Lukas said. "I was running from that thing-"

"You should've never come here alone," Tim said. He reached for the backpack near the twisted leg. "First rule of exploring abandoned buildings."

Lukas cringed. "Sorry."

Shaking his head, Tim offered his hand. "I can get you to my car and take you to the hospital. We'll call Becca and get you both on medication so this won't happen again."

The younger man breathed in, staring up at Tim with wide, exhausted eyes.

"You're real," Lukas said. "Everybody said you're just something people made up."

Tim shrugged, his mind drifting back towards the cigarette pack in his jacket. Once he got done here, he'd have to buy more.

"They say that about the Operator, too."

[backtothestart02]

The Forgotten - 1/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: Based off the horror, psychological thriller movie of the same name that came out in 2004 that I recently watched. This fic is really for me, b/c I loved the movie so much and there’s no fanfiction category for it anywhere, so I thought I’d turn it into a WA fic with a sequel eventually. The movie itself is more parent-child driven than romance, but it was created w/ a subtle romance that I intend to expand more upon. Read it if you like. I will be incorporating much of the dialogue from the movie, since I’m adapting it pretty closely. Enjoy.

...

Synopsis: AU - 14 months after losing her son to a plane crash, Iris Thawne is startled to find everyone she knows has forgotten him. Everyone but herself.

...

Chapter 1 - A Grieving Mother

It was eerie at the playground at this time of day.

The wind whipped around her as she sat on the swing, hardly aware of the creaking sound, even with no children playing around her to block it out.

She was cold, freezing even, but she didn’t close her sweater up to warm herself better. She hadn’t brought a jacket or a coat, just a couple layered shirts and a sweater with her faded blue jeans and sneakers. A common outfit when she went out these days, common at home too.

Only one thing blocked out the need to keep warm, to hear what was around her, to be aware of reality in that moment. And that was Teddy, her Teddy Bear.

A warm, enthusiastic, vibrant boy of nine with the most luscious curls atop his head and freckles dotting his cheeks. He wore glasses, round ones, ever since he was six and couldn’t see the words quite right on the classroom chalkboard. He’d come home that day, scared to death that he couldn’t see anymore. One trip to the eye doctor had fixed that, and he’d been so excited to get his glasses. She couldn’t remember a child being that excited over having to wear glasses.

Barry’s girl, Becca, certainly hadn’t been. She’d had a meltdown in the front of the school when her dad picked her up. It was temporary though, as most things are with children. Once the more ‘chic’ kind, as she called it, came in stock in pink, she loved her glasses more than anything. Well, not more than playing with Teddy on the playground. Those two were inseparable, had been since kindergarten.

Iris wondered how Barry was doing…14 months after the accident.

She licked her lips and found them chapped, then decided she’d spent enough time at the park today. Or at least for one morning. She had to get ready anyways. Her appointment with Dr. Singh was in an hour, and her walk home was 15 minutes, 20 with the way she moved. She needed time with Teddy, her morning time with him. She couldn’t cope without that time. A mother needed time with her son.

He was her life, her everything.

“Mom!”

She heard it clearly, so clearly. Not spoken out of a dream or the recesses of her mind, but really, truly with her. Real.

She spun around so quickly, she wasn’t prepared for the oncoming wind attacking her face with its chill. She shut her eyes for a moment – just a moment – and when she opened them again, there was no sound. There was no child.

“Teddy?” she called out, just in case. Just in case.

But it was obvious no one was there. She looked all around her, but nothing. Even the streets were bare of cars, the park was bare of squirrels, of birds. It was a cloudy, chilly day, as dark as her thoughts, as her heart sank every moment.

Taking one step in front of the other, she looked both ways at the street corner and then crossed on her way home. She felt stuck in a daze as she always did, cars passing, people chatting, lights turning colors at the intersection. She couldn’t snap out of where her head was at, of how intensely her heart was hurting. She could die of frostbite out here in the cold, and she wouldn’t notice it was happening. Her mind would be so absorbed, so focused, so distant on what wasn’t in her control. Teddy.

The warmth of her home spread through to the tips of her fingers and toes once she stepped inside and closed the door. She didn’t think she’d bother changing. She’d taken a shower early that morning, a hot one, a long one. That was enough. But what she needed before she left, what she needed more than anything, was to visit her boy in his bedroom.

Taking the steps two at a time, she raced upstairs. First, she stopped in the bedroom she shared with Eddie, her husband. She didn’t want to think about how things were between them. They could be better. They could always be better, and that was an understatement. When they weren’t ‘having a discussion’, he walked around her as if he were on eggshells, not wanting to alarm her or cause her to have a breakdown. He wanted to be there for her, to help her with her healing process. But he had gotten frustrated that she was taking so long with it. He didn’t say it outright, but she knew that’s what he thought. She knew him.

Still, when she stopped in their bedroom, she spotted instantly the picture of the three of them sitting on the bedside table. The Thawne family – Iris, Eddie, and Teddy. Theodore Thawne.

Eddie had loved that name, and she had warmed to it once she came upon the most adorable nickname for him – Teddy Bear. She smiled just thinking about it and brushed her finger over the glass, over Teddy’s curls.

Her smile fell slowly, as her heart resurged with pain, and she walked out of the room to head to Teddy’s bedroom.

There wasn’t much in the room anymore, but the dresser straight ahead between the windows was a siren song for her, a lit beacon of everything that made her able to cope, to deal with the worst loss any mother can imagine.

Atop the dresser were two pictures of Teddy, a recent one and one when he was a toddler, his face smiling up at her, the photographer of the pictures. She always took pictures of him. He was so photogenic. His curly hair and dimples always made her smile. And his eyes lit up when he saw her.

They had, anyway.

She opened the first drawer of the dresser and found his baseball mitt, his cap… The next drawer held photo albums of him over the years. Seeing those pictures always made her relax, made her remember, kept her grounded, prevented her from falling apart. Then finally the bottom drawer was filled with video tapes and dvds, all encapsulating Teddy’s life. She’d take them out and watch them if she had more time.

If she had more time…

“How much time did you spend at the dresser compared to last week?”

She could already hear Dr. Singh saying it, asking it, as if he knew she hadn’t made much progress at all. Still, she’d probably say, “Less.”

And he’d press her, “How much less?”

She sighed, her fingers drumming against one of the tapes as she fought the urge to form a fist. She knew it was for the best, that her sessions would help her in the long run. She certainly didn’t want to be this sad forever. She just…wanted her son back.

Maybe there was time to watch one tape.

...

*will post on AO3 and FFnet when beta’d.