#Verse: When the Stars Go Blue
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moonlightrafe · 19 days ago
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Buckle Bunny ✮⋆˙ ℧ ⋆₊˚⊹♡
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summary: The new girl in town gives Topper a run for his money and Rafe meets his match.
pairing: Cowboy!Rafe x Reader
word count: 1.4k
warnings: alcohol consumption, semi-public sex, p in v, squirting, creampie 18+ MDNI
note: tagging some moots I feel comfy with bc I feel like my Rafe posts get no traction 😅 @angelspitxx @rafescorpsebride @rafeysbangs @rafesheaven no pressure to read just trying to put myself out there *runs away*
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It is a warm Friday night and the annual rodeo was the biggest event of the summer, according to your cousin, Kie. She made it clear you couldn’t miss it.
Being well-versed in rodeo yourself, you take her word for it and check it out. You’re not exactly sure how North Carolina will hold a candle to Texas rodeo, but you decide to go anyway. You pull on your boots, pair them with your tightest fitting denim shorts, and make your way to the fairgrounds. You show up late, but try to enjoy yourself anyway, you just wanted to get a taste, anyway.
The smell of hay and barbecue fill the air, blending with the sounds of laughter and the sharp crack of bullwhips — it reminds you of home.
You take it all in as you stroll past booths selling cowboy hats and fried food. You aren’t quite sure what to expect, but when you spot the bronc riders preparing for their turn, your curiosity gets the best of you.
The large crowd erupts into cheers as the announcer introduces the final rider of the night: Rafe Cameron, apparently a local legend. Your eyes were drawn to him immediately. Tall, broad-shouldered, confident. He climbs onto the massive bucking bronco as if it were nothing. His hat sits low over his piercing blue eyes, and his smirk is unforgettable.
When the gate swings open, the horse explodes into the arena, and Rafe moves with it like he was born for this. You catch herself gripping the railing, holding your breath as he stays on for the full eight seconds– you couldn’t deny you were impressed.
The buzzer sounds, and the crowd goes wild. He tips his hat to the audience before hopping off the bronc, completely unfazed.
After the show, you end up wandering over to the food trucks, hoping to grab something to eat before heading over to the local dive. To your surprise, the cowboy from earlier, Rafe, is there, leaning casually against a truck while talking to a few friends. You freeze for a moment, debating whether to approach him, but before you can make up your mind, one of Rafe’s friends—a loud, blond guy named Topper—spots you.
“Well, look at this,” Topper drawls, a sly smirk etched onto his face, “a little Buckle Bunny comin’ to meet the star of the show.”
Your cheeks burn with anger, "buckle bunny” isn’t exactly a compliment.
“Excuse me?” you shoot back, your arms crossed over your chest.
Rafe turns, his blue eyes locking onto yours. His smirk vanishing as his gaze moves to Topper, “knock it off, Top.”
Topper just laughs in response.
“What? I’m just saying—”
“You’re done,” Rafe cuts him off sharpy, stepping closer to you. “Sorry ‘bout that, he’s an idiot.”
You lift your chin, attempting to play it cool.
“S’alright, I can handle myself,” you purr, “just wanted to see what all the fuss was about.”
Rafe’s eyes beam at you, “Well? What’d ya think?”
“Not bad,” you reply, letting a small smile slip through, “but this ain’t my first rodeo, I’ve seen better.”
The guys around him erupt into laughter, and even Rafe can’t help but chuckle at you.
“Alright, new girl,” he says, tipping his hat to you, “you’ve got my attention. What’s your name?”
“y/n,” you reply.
“Well, miss y/n,” he said, his voice softening, “I’ll make sure you get a proper tour—minus the idiots.”
He says this, shooting a look at Topper, who just rolls his eyes.
“We’re all headin’ over to the dive bar right down the road if you care to join.”
“Yeah, I was headin’ over that way anyway, I’ll hop in my truck and head out.”
Rafe raises an eyebrow at you.
“You got your own truck?”
“Mhm, I got my own horse too, and I’m a hell of a ride.”
✮⋆˙ ℧ ⋆₊˚⊹♡ ✮⋆˙ ℧ ⋆₊˚⊹♡ ✮⋆˙ ℧
The divebar is small, but extremely lively. From across the way you can see Rafe being congratulated, you watch him intently as you sip on your drink.
You can’t help but notice that the mechanical bull is starting up, and you figure this is your chance to show your skills off to Rafe and his friends.
You saunter up to the bull with a grin, making sure the boys, especially Rafe, see you throw your jacket off and pull your hair up into a ponytail.
The operator gives you a nod, cranking up the controls as you swing your leg over the make-shift saddle.
“Hold on tight, buckle bunny,” Topper calls, his voice laced with venom.
As the buzzer sounds, the bull lurches forward. Clenching your thighs and moving with it, you allow muscle memory and pure determination to take over. It spins, bucks, and attempts with all it’s might to to throw you off but you hold on for you dear life.
As your gaze meets Rafe’s you can’t shy away from thinking how it would feel to have him bucking underneath you. Rolling your hips in sync with the machine, wetness pools at your core.
Down girl, focus.
Your thoughts were interrupted as the crowd began to cheer, the bull beginning to slow down: you did it!
The cowboys all went quiet, their smirks fading as you swung off the bull with ease, landing successfully on your feet.
✮⋆˙ ℧ ⋆₊˚⊹♡ ✮⋆˙ ℧ ⋆₊˚⊹♡ ✮⋆˙ ℧
After that, you find yourself in the grimy, dimly-lit bathroom catching your breath when you hear the door creak open.
“That was quite the show,” Rafe says as he comes in, locking the door behind him.
Your cheeks feel hot as you meet his gaze in the mirror.
“Told ya I knew how to ride,” you say with a smirk.
“You’re dangerous, y’know that?” He whispers, coming up behind you, pressing himself into you.
“Definitely not a ‘buckle bunny,’ you’re the real deal… but a little tease like you makes me wanna lose control.”
You can feel his ever-growing bulge beneath his jeans, taunting you with what’s to come.
His calloused fingers glide underneath your shirt and across the smooth skin of your stomach. Your body trembles, eagerly awaiting his next move. Rafe leans in close, his stubble grazing your cheek, “you want me to take for a real ride?”
“Mhm,” is all you’re able to get out as you bite harshly on your bottom lip.
Rafe’s hands grab your hair, tilting your head back, exposing your neck. His tongue tracing a path up from your jaw to your ear, sending a chill down your spine.
He eagerly spins you around and bends you over the sink countertop. You assist in unbuttoning your jeans as he slides them down your legs with experienced quickness, your panties following suit.
His hands caress your ass cheeks before delving into your soft pussy, coating his fingers with your arousal. You moan loudly, bracing yourself against the counter.
“Spread those legs wide for me, babydoll,” he orders, his breath hot on your neck. You comply eagerly, feeling the cool air hit your most sensitive spot.
Rafe takes no time undoing his belt, eagerly ripping his jeans down and pulling his already-hard cock out from the restraint of his boxer briefs.
He guides himself up to your entrance and slowly pushes the throbbing head of his cock inside of you. You gasp as he fills you inch by inch, until there’s nothing left to take.
A loud groan erupts from your chest as his thickness stretches your walls, making you bite your lip to keep from screaming. Rafe grips tightly at your hips as he begins to move, picking up speed with each thrust. He sets a punishing pace, slamming into you with such force that the counter digs into your flesh. He grunts with every thrust, breathing heavily through gritted teeth.
Your moans echo off the walls as he fucks you mercilessly, driving you closer to the edge with every stroke. Your cunt tightens around his pounding cock, squeezing him deeper as you feel pressure begin to build in your belly.
Within seconds you’re pushing Rafe out, squirting all over him and the floor.
He all but roars in response, in this moment in time his attraction to you is primal, animalistic.
“Fuck!!” he cries as he slams himself back inside of you, his pace quicker than before as he reaches his own release. With one final surge deep inside of you, he groans loudly as cum fills your pulsing pussy.
You feel so empty as pulls out, leaving you dripping, wet, and shaking. You look at each other for a moment, both catching your breath as a sly smile appears on Rafe’s face.
“Well, little bunny… I think I’ve finally met my match.”
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heartkaji · 4 months ago
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  ★…𝐀𝐓𝐋4𝐍𝐓𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊 ?! ❞
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୨ৎ synopsis. blue lock characters but they’re hood. based on the atlanta lock ! tiktok trend.
୨ৎ includes. bachira meguru, isagi yoichi, nagi seishiro, shidou ryusei, otoya eita
୨ৎ notes. this has been in my drafts since july cuz ive been procrastinating, hope it’s not too late to post this 🙏
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★ BACHIRA MEGURU— LIL SMOKEY
“shit, we making it out the hood with this one y’all ! run the track again—fire flame flow productions ain’t neva miss.”
you roll your eyes as bachira daps up isagi.
you’ve been here for an hour & you can feel your eardrums beginning to rot like dead peaches. bachira raps over a beat you swear you’ve heard from lucki, but he’s quick to shush you when you bring it up. you cross tired arms over your chest as the music winds up and bachira starts his verse again.
“pretty bitch, yeah she got me seein’ stars, like it when i thrust, fuck her all the way to mars,”
isagi whistles. you contemplate suicide.
“she think that i’m loyal but i switch my bitch like cars, new whip every day and no i’m not just penning bars !”
“type shit !” isagi calls. you still in your seat. what ?
your chest swells with something akin to rage. you were already exhausted, ears wilting at the boom of the bass. bachira’s been redoing the same verse for hours, but you’d never paid attention to your boyfriend’s lyrics till now. you march over to the sound panel and shut it down with closed fist.
“bachira meguru—!”
“fucking hell, woman ! the fuck did you do that for—?“
you march into the booth and slap him silly.
bachira looks back at you with mouth agape and red tinged cheeks. his face is blood drenched and you almost feel guilty but you tighten your chest & straighten your back.
“what the hell did you just say, meg ?”
“what are you on about—“
“don’t play with me right now, meg. word to my mother i’ll slap y’ left cheek too. fuck you mean you riding a new bitch every day, huh ?”
bachira groans, rubbing at his cheek. “god, those are just lyrics ! you tripping for real—“
you slap his left cheek.
“you think you’re future or something ? fucking try me meg. you’re lucky i know you don’t actually have the balls to cheat. change those lyrics. now.”
bachira mumbles something under his breath before marching to the sound station. a boyish giggle breaks the quiet, and you shoot a glare at yoichi, causing silence to envelope the room once again before bachira revs up the track.
“she know that i’m loyal cuz i treat her like a star, call me yuki chiba man, ‘watashi wa star !’ ”
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★ ISAGI YOICHI — YXNG EGOIST
“yoichi, you were raised in a gated community. you do not have opps.”
isagi clicks his tongue. the sound is muffled under the wool of his thick balaclava, but you manage to make it out regardless. “you don’t understand, princess. just keep watch for me, alright ?”
“yoichi.”
you heave your third sigh of the evening. you and isagi were at a high end restaurant for a date, but suddenly you wished you were home. you’d been looking forward to having dinner with the busy striker all week, but now that you’re here together with you in a fancy dress while he sports a thick balaclava, you can’t help but feel embarassed.
“yoichi i’m literally begging you to take that off.”
isagi lifts the chin of his mask to sneak a bite of chicken with his fork. he quickly takes a sip of water before dragging the mask back over his lips, eyes darting from side to side to scope his surroundings. he breathes a relieved sigh. “i think i’m safe for now..”
“alright, i’m going home.”
“huh ? what — no, babe, i’ll take it off, come back !”
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★ NAGI SEISHIRO — SUGARHILL SEI
“riddle me this, sei. how the fuck your bank account low but your ass getting high ?”
you and reo stand arms crossed over a faded nagi, his eyes blood tinged & cheeks hot & swollen. his breathing is labored as he fits the blunt to his lips to take yet another drag.
“cuh i ain’ even got time fuh dis forreal. y’all mothafuckas just be bouncin’ on my dick fo’ no reason man.”
“what the hell is he saying ?”
“i think he’s speaking ganglish ?”
“oh hell no.” reo snaps his fingers over his head, “i rebuke every spirit of hoodlum in you, bro. what the fuck nagi, is this what you’ve come to ?”
nagi rubs his forehead & for a second he bears an uncanny resemblance to travis scott. “cuh i ain’ even—“ FWAM !
reo dashes a hot slap to nagi’s cheek. the red handprint glistens against his pale skin & your palms fly to cover your gaping mouth. “reo ! that’s—that’s too far !”
“stay out of this y/n,” nagi lays limp on the room floor, his eyes rapidly blinking with his mouth agape. “this is just the beginning. if we don’t correct him now, he’ll start dressing like a carti fan before you know it !”
reo hops unto one foot, aggressively tugging a chancla off the other. he turns to nagi.
“sorry bro, i don’t wanna do this,”
“cuh—“
FWAM !
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★ SHIDOU RYUSEI — MR. FREAK
“gyattttt”
“i’m breaking up with you.”
“no mami i’m sorryyy,” shidou drawls playfully, arms circling your hips. he tugs you closer to him so you’re pressed flush against his skin.
“respectfully asking you to wear these ‘forbidden tights’ more often, ma. this recoil is insane.” he makes a slurping noise and you question your existence.
“ryusei—“
“boing !” shidou chuckles to himself as he slaps your ass. the flesh is soft in his palms and he’s about to indulge his intrusive thoughts once again before you slap him with your purse.
“shidou ryusei ! in the public eye ?!”
“government name is crazyyy.”
“i’m going home.” you begin heading towards the exit with a noisy shidou calling after you, “bae come back ! it was just jokes !”
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★ OTOYA EITA — LIL’ FLOCKA
“nah cuz what you know about ken carson for real though.”
you groan for the third time today. “eita it’s enough.”
“no babe i’m just sayin,” he rubs lazy circles along your hip bone, lips pressed lazily against the back of your shoulder, “since you wanna be lip syncing to unreleased ken, you must know more about him than i do, right ?”
“oh my fucking god. literally who said that ?”
“no but you implied it. look at you posting yoself singing with your big ole’ tatas.”
“eita i’m literally gonna leave you for karasu right now.”
“nah nah chill it’s just,” he swipes through your story, clicking his tongue when he notices you’ve posted yourself to yet another underground artist, this time thouxanbanfouani. he bites his inner cheek to stop himself from asking you to take your story down.
“you don’t get him like i do, you feel me ?”
“congratulations otoya. the fuck you telling me that for ?”
“take your story down.”
“we’re over.”
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© ─ heartkaji ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload
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lady-ashfade · 9 months ago
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🫧 Table Of Contents 🫧
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-`。゚˘: ゚⋆––✷☽ ᱬ ☽✷––⋆ ゚: ˘ ゚。.`-
╰・゚✧☽ I only make fics for readers, y/n's. Please read the rules because I feel bad when you request something and I can’t do it because you haven't read the rules. But I love all of you the same. You can call me ash, or anything you want to really. Also a chubby person runs this account.
[about to start classes so my writing is going to be delayed]
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╰・゚✧☽ Request WIP For Now
╰・゚✧☽ Backup account is @lady-fadeash , You may follow @ms-fade for some 18+ fies, I know them well!
-`。゚˘: ゚⋆ ––✷☽ Information ☽✷––⋆ ゚: ˘ ゚。.`-
´*: ・゚⋆˒ Rules For Requesting ´*: ・゚⋆˒ Characters I write for. ´*: ・゚⋆˒ Basic Prompts list ´*: ・゚⋆˒ Quotes Prompts List ´*: ・゚⋆˒ My tag-list. ´*: ・゚⋆˒ A Place Of Reminders ´*: ・゚⋆˒ Fics I Recommend
Takin by the talented @madame-fear please go check out their work!! She can write better then the moon and the stars
ꜜ -`。゚˘: ゚⋆ ––✷☽ Masterlists ☽✷––⋆ ゚: ˘ ゚。.`- ꜜ
´*: ・゚⋆˒ Other Concepts
╰・゚✧☽ Actor’s
╰・゚✧☽ OC Concepts
´*: ・゚⋆˒ Tv Shows
╰・゚✧☽ House Of The Dragon
╰・゚✧☽ Percy Jackson
╰・゚✧☽ Bridgerton
╰・゚✧☽ Cobra Kai
╰・゚✧☽ Stranger Things
╰・゚✧☽ Umbrella Academy
╰・゚✧☽ Julie And The Phantoms
╰・゚✧☽ Wednesday
╰・゚✧☽ Lockwood And Co
╰・゚✧☽ Shadow And Bone
╰・゚✧☽ Heartstopper
╰・゚✧☽ The Walking Dead
╰・゚✧☽ The Rookie
´*: ・゚⋆˒ Anime Category
╰・゚✧☽ My Hero Academia
╰・゚✧☽ Demon Slayer
´*: ・゚⋆˒ Movies
╰・゚✧☽ Narnia
╰・゚✧☽ Spider-Verse
╰・゚✧☽ Marvel
╰・゚✧☽ Karate Kid
╰・゚✧☽ Blue Beetle
╰・゚✧☽ DeadPoll
´*: ・゚⋆˒ Video Games
╰・゚✧☽ Baldur’s Gate 3
╰・゚✧☽ Fallout
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freakycore · 1 month ago
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🎧 now playing: rockstar reverie
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rockstar!gojo satoru x fem!reader ₊˚ෆ
a last minute crisis when their vocalist bails right before a gig forces geto to call in a replacement: you, who wins over the crowd and leaves gojo questioning everything he knew.
an. i listen to song, song make brain go brr, brr hyper fixated, hyper fixates make hand go tap, i was then shot 67 times.
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the backstage area of the dimly lit venue was pure chaos. wires snaked across the floor, roadies shouted over each other, and the dull thrum of the crowd filtered through the walls like a heartbeat. gojo paced back and forth, his guitar slung low on his hips, muttering complaints to no one in particular.
“this is a disaster. we’re about to go on and we don’t even have a vocalist!” he raked a hand through his perfectly styled hair, shooting an annoyed look at geto. “why would he ditch us like this?! of all day..”
“relax,” geto pressed, leaning casually against an amp. his drumsticks twirled effortlessly in his fingers. “I called someone.”
gojo’s eyebrows shot up. “you called someone? who? and why am I hearing about this now?”
shoko, perched on a nearby stool with a cigarette dangling from her lips, blew out a lazy puff of smoke. “if they suck, we’ll blame you, geto.”
before anyone could respond, the sound of heavy boots echoed through the hall. the door swung open and in walked the last-minute savior: you. leather jacket, bold eyeliner, an aura of confidence that seemed to suck all the air out of the room. your mic dangle from one hand, slung casually over your shoulder as you surveyed the band with a sharp assessing gaze. for a moment, the chaos of the room seemed to pause.
gojo froze. his blue eyes flicked over you, taming in every detail: the curve of your smile, the way your hair framed your face, and the unapologetic way you carried yourself. he quickly masked his reaction with a smirk. “oh great. we’re save. a karaoke star.”
you didn’t even flinch. “nice to meet you too, rockstar.” your tone dripped with sarcasm, and geto’s lips twitched in amusement.
“alright,” you said, flipping through the song setlist geto handed you. you scanned it for barely a minute, nodding with a confident, “got it”
gojo’s jaw dropped. “got it? you barely even looked at it! are you kidding me? we have a reputation to uphold and you think you can just wing it?”
you shot him a look. “guess we’ll see.”
shoko chuckled softly, stubbing out her cigarette. “this should be interesting.”
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the stage lights dimmed, casting the venue in shadow. the crowd murmured with confusion as you stepped onto the stage with the band. whispers rippled through the audience like a wave, questioning who you are. you gripped the mic stand, closed your eyes, and took a deep breath. then the first note poured out of you.
the venue fell silent
THIS GUY STINKS!!!! lmfaoooooio
your voice was rich, powerful, and hauntingly beautiful, weaving through the air like magic. as the song built, the crowd’s energy shifted from skepticism to awe. they leaned in, captivated by every note. by the chorus they were screaming along, completely won over by your presence.
gojo, meanwhile, was struggling. not with his guitar (he could play that in his sleep) but with keeping his focus. his eyes kept drifting to you. the way you moved, the way you commanded the stage like you owned it. you were electric, magnetic, and he was completely thrown off.
then came the moment that broke him. in the middle of the second verse, you grabbed a water bottle, twisted off the cap, and poured it over yourself. the crowd erupted. the stage lights caught the droplets on your skin, making you shimmer like a living flame.
gojo’s fingers slipped on the fretboard, and he hit the wrong note. he cursed under his breath, but he couldnt tear his eyes away.
the final chorus was a crescendo of sound and emotion. you leaned into the mic, your voice raw and mesmerizing, leaving the audience in a frenzy.
when the song ended, the venue exploded in cheers. fans chanted for more, their voices echoing off the walls. you flashed a sly smile, waved, and walked off stage, leaving the band to soak in applause.
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backstage, the energy was electric. geto clapped you on the back. “told you she’d handle it.”
shoko smirked, lighting another cigarette. “that was lowkey hot”
gojo stormed over, his usual cocky smirk replaced with something more serious. his blue eyes were sharp, searching your face for… something. “okay, fine. you were good.”
you raised an eyebrow. “good?”
he crossed his arms, leaning in slightly. “yeah. but dont get cocky. this is my band, and we have a reputation to—“
you cut him off with a sharp laugh. “your band? looked like you were the one messing up, rockstar.”
geto stifled a laugh, and shoko outright snorted. gojo opened his mouth to retaliate but closed it again, completely at loss. you gave him a wink and sauntered off, your boots echoing against the floor as you disappeared down the hall.
as he watched you walk away, one thought echoed in his mind:
he needs her.
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viforavi · 1 month ago
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singer/songwriter!caitlyn and producer!vi… known for her quiet allure and silky voice, cait is a rising star whose songs have almost all been produced by vi. most of the lyrics cait writes may or may not be drawn from a crush she has on her producer. vi may or may not be producing cait’s songs because she’s not only undeniably talented, but also incredibly hot.
caitlyn loves to observe the focus vi has when creating her vision in the studio—sometimes she finds herself staring at her a little longer, taking note of how vi plays with her bottom lip and the way her big, beautiful blue-gray eyes dart across the computer screen—but the praise she gets when she records the perfect take is the cherry on top of it all.
“atta girl.”
“amazing work, you did so well today.”
“there we go, princess. knew you could do it.”
she feels her face flush slightly at every compliment and this time is no different. they near the end of a session as caitlyn records the last of her harmonies and the rest of the pre-chorus. as caitlyn’s verse comes to an end, vi smiles and clicks a button on her sound board to let cait hear her next words.
“you did so good in there, sweetheart. i could listen to you all day.”
a small giggle paired with an eye roll is her typical response to the producer’s kudos. cait’s ears and cheeks are tinged pink at the last part of vi’s comment.
“as if you aren’t paid to do exactly that,” caitlyn points out.
she removes her headphones and exits the soundproof room, walking towards the couch at the same time as vi to take a break before the producer works herself to the bone to get this song to sound like a masterpiece. caitlyn’s legs find themselves propped on vi’s lap crossed at her ankles with vi’s hand gently holding her in place, a comfortable position they find themselves in very often. vi expresses a thought she has about cait’s writing.
“y’know, i honestly still can’t believe you wrote these lyrics. i didn’t realize you were seeing someone.”
cait lets out a soft laugh, slightly embarrassed at the idea. the lyrics are… more sexual than what she usually writes, depicting fantasies and desires that she would typically consider private information.
“i’m not! just… felt really inspired i guess.”
“c’mon, don’t give me that. you rarely ever write about sex, let alone ask me to produce a song about it. she must be really fucking good, so who’s the lucky girl?”
she was right. caitlyn rarely wrote songs about sex and even when she did, she was usually too embarrassed to show them to vi. caitlyn’s had her fair share of hookups, but in caitlyn’s eyes none of them could compare to the mere thought of vi: her stupid fucking haircut that she, by some miracle, manages to pull off, her muscular build that convinces cait that she could be picked up by her like a feather, and that voice.
god, that fucking voice and her fucking praise.
even though she was the one to ask, vi’s stomach drops at the thought of cait seeing anyone. she keeps her eyes on the screen, avoiding caitlyn’s gaze and hoping she doesn’t look like a kicked puppy.
“seriously, it’s no one.”
“bullshit, cait. we’re friends! you can tell me.”
“it’s not! i’m really not seeing anyone.”
“please, cupcake.”
the underlying sweetness in her disbelieving tone makes cait want to melt into a puddle on the floor. part of her wants to admit that the object of all her fantasies has been a certain pink-haired musical genius with a jaw-dropping body and a pretty face, but her pride outmatches her desire, even though the use of the dessert-inspired nickname makes her knees weak.
“it’s just a crush. that’s all.”
cait swears she can see vi’s ears perk up. she’s met with a shit-eating grin, and now vi can’t help but poke and prod further to figure out who this mystery crush is. they giggle and playfully fight with one another as vi begs to know about this “crush” and cait wonders why the fuck she decided to say anything at all.
the regret leaves her body when she finds her face centimeters away from vi’s and her arms locked in front of her chest, held by her wrist thanks to vi’s unbelievable strength. cait makes out the curls of her eyelashes, the dark ink of her face tattoo, and most especially the plush of vi’s lips and the scar that decorates the top of them.
shit. why does she have to be so fucking gorgeous?
caitlyn is certain the red all over her face perfectly matches the burn she feels. she feels like she’s opening for fucking beyoncé or something with how nervous she is to be this close to someone she’s known for years.
“you’re really gonna keep this from me, princess?”
something about vi’s lowered voice and her eyes searching her face (particularly at her lips, she noticed) gave caitlyn a sense of confidence that she knows she’ll probably regret acting on. she wants vi, and she’s tired of vi not knowing. she swallows and looks into vi’s pleading eyes for a moment then sighs, nearly surprising herself with what she does next.
her feet find their way to the floor to push her up out of her seat and then she swiftly swings a leg over vi’s lap, seating herself where her legs once were. vi’s grip on caitlyn weakens and confusion is written all over her face with her wide eyes, raised brows, and slightly parted lips. cait gazes at her through hooded eyes, playing with the neckline of vi’s muscle tee. she leans over and ghosts her lips over vi’s ear to tease.
“you really wanna know?”
vi rests her hands on caitlyn’s hips and slowly licks her lips, still unsure of what exactly is going on… but she’s not complaining. her thumbs fiddle with the top of caitlyn’s jeans as caitlyn pulls herself back to face vi, one hand caressing the back of her neck and the other cupping her chin. vi groans at the sound of cait’s voice as she asks vi a very important question.
“do you want me to tell you, or would you rather i show you?”
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justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 9 months ago
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hello!!! I saw that your requests were open and that you did Sahsr!! Could I request some headcanons with Caelus, Dan Heng, Welt, Jing Yuan, Blade and Adventurine, hearing the player singing for the first time?
They're singing Loser Baby from Hazbin Hotel to cheer up their friend or singing Addict from the Hazbin Hotel Pilot (including the sad verse) when feeling blue.
Thank youu!
Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like the headcanons!
Fandom: Honkai Star Rail
Characters: Caelus, Dan Heng, Welt Yang, Jing Yuan, Blade, Aventurine x gn! Reader
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In a self-aware au, what do the characters think of you singing while you play? Also, bonus headcanons on which Hazbin Hotel song each of the characters like best.
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Caelus was surprised when he first heard you sing but after a moment to appreciate it, he’s not going to be able to resist humming along, immediately blowing his cover.
He’s definitely going to join in when you’re singing songs he knows and likes, whether he’s a good singer or not. If he can make you smile or laugh by doing that, he’s achieved his mission.
But at the same time, he loves hearing your voice alone. He’s especially fond of quiet days where he can relax with you, listening to you sing whatever song comes to mind.
I think Caelus’ favourite Hazbin Hotel song would be “Respectless”. He’s certainly been that a few times on his travels and he loves the sass you put into your voice whenever you sing it.
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Out of everyone, I think Dan Heng would be the only one not surprised to hear you sing. He’s got a lot of knowledge about a lot of things so I think he would be able to tell you’d have a nice singing voice from the way you talk.
However, that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to enjoy listening to you. Whether you notice him or not, he’ll encourage you to keep singing while he works.
Occasionally, he may hum along to a song, but he generally prefers hearing your voice without any other auditory distractions.
This may seem like a strange match at first, but I think Dan Heng would like “Ready for This”. He likes the music, sure, but he also really enjoys hearing how different characters change throughout the song.
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This music lover has found his soulmate. He’s sure of it. Someone who can sing as well as you can is the perfect match for someone who likes listening to singing as much as he does.
If you’re singing to yourself, Welt will do his best to quiet so he doesn’t interrupt you. He wants to keep listening for as long as possible.
He really wants to request songs from time to time but for the most part, he’s happy with whatever you pick.
I can see his favourite Hazbin Hotel song being “More Than Anything” just for the slow loving vibes. He might not be much of a singer, but he would like to duet this song with you.
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Oh, Jing Yuan’s going to be insufferable as soon as he finds out how well you can sing. He’ll always be humming, hinting at you to sing something.
Has fallen asleep listening to you more than once. Thankfully he wasn’t doing anything important at the time…
Jing Yuan definitely has a nice singing voice, so he’d enjoy joining you in your songs sometimes, especially if it’s a duet.
This man loves “Loser, Baby”. That’s all that needs to be said here. He likes how fun it is while still conveying a good message.
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I feel like Blade might be initially indifferent to your singing abilities. They’re not useful in combat so what’s the point of them?
At the same time, he’s likely to sulk around until you feel like singing yourself. As soon as that happens, he’s back on his A-game.
Because even though he claims not to care, Blade loves listening to you sing. There have been few sleeps as good as the ones he’s had after falling asleep to your voice.
Blade’s favourite Hazbin Hotel song is “Hell is Forever”. He originally thought it was going to be edgy and instead ended up really liking it for what it is.
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I haven’t really had a lot of experience with Aventurine either as a character or writing for him so hopefully this isn’t too out of character, but I think he’d love your singing if only because it’s better than the music that plays in game.
Whenever he walks into a building that normally has music playing, he’ll turn it off (somehow) so your voice takes over.
I can’t see him singing along but he might hum a few notes if you’ve been quiet for a while and he wants to hear you sing. He can’t blow his cover, so he’s got s drop subtle hints that he wants you to sing for him.
I think his favourite Hazbin Hotel song would be "Stayed Gone". It seems to match the vibe he’s got going on and I definitely see some similarities between Aventurine and Vox.
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Hey, did you enjoy this? If you like my writing, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi page! This will allow me to make some money off my writing, something I enjoy doing.
ko-fi.com/justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms
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writingforstraykids · 1 month ago
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Lucky
Pairing: Minsung
Word Count: 1138
Summary: Minho can't help but marvel at Jisung sometimes and realize how lucky he is to have the younger by his side.
Tags/Warnings: fluff, minho's a lovesick fool, minho centered
A/N: I wish you a rather belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. I can't promise my brain will get its shit together with everything that's been going on lately but I'll try my best to be more present again🖤I hope you enjoy this little piece🖤
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do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -
Minho shifted on the floor, the smooth wood cool against the back of his thighs as he perched near the edge of the stage. The crowd’s energy buzzed around him, a living, breathing entity all its own. Thousands of faces blurred into one collective glow of adoration and excitement, their voices rising in a crescendo that never failed to send a ripple of something akin to awe through his chest. He tilted his mic up slightly, catching his breath as he surveyed the sea of lightsticks swaying like stars in rhythm to the beat of the song.
He could feel the sweat trickling down the back of his neck, his bangs clinging to his forehead. The harsh stage lights framed the world in sharp contrast - the blinding white and neon blues above versus the endless expanse of shadows beneath. Yet, despite the intensity, there was something grounding about being here.
This was home, in a way few things were.
He adjusted the mic, steadying it just as the instrumental swelled. The familiar chord progression cued the next part of the song. Minho’s head turned slightly, just enough to catch the soft inhale Jisung always took before his verse.
And then, like clockwork, Jisung’s voice poured into the space, rich and resonant, weaving through the air with a distinct kind of magic only he possessed.
Minho’s gaze lifted almost instinctively toward the massive screen towering above the stage. There Jisung was, caught in breathtaking clarity - every nuance of his expression laid bare for the crowd. His eyes glimmered, filled with a depth that made every word feel like it was meant for someone specific.
Minho’s chest tightened.
He watched the way Jisung leaned into his performance, head tilting slightly as he let the music carry him. It was mesmerizing—the way the younger could lose himself so completely, like nothing else in the world mattered.
And Minho thought, not for the first time, how incredibly lucky he was.
The thought hit him with surprising force, though it wasn’t new. It had been there for years now, tucked into quiet moments backstage or whispered in the late-night silence of their dorms. Jisung had always been a constant, a gravitational pull that Minho had never fully understood but had come to rely on.
There was a time when Minho wouldn’t have let himself feel this - when the idea of depending on anyone felt like handing them a weapon with which they could hurt him. But Jisung had a way of slipping past defenses, not by force but by simply being himself.
Minho’s lips quirked upward faintly, his usual mask melting for a brief moment as he continued to watch. Jisung didn’t just sing; he communicated. His voice reached out, grabbing hold of every person in the audience and pulling them into the story.
And Minho wasn’t immune.
He barely noticed the way his own grip on the mic slackened, his posture softening as his gaze lingered. He didn’t register the way his foot tapped lightly in time with the beat or the way his head tilted, almost imperceptibly, as if drawn closer by an invisible thread.
All he could think about was Jisung - the way he made the impossible seem effortless.
The realization settled somewhere deep inside him, warm and steady. He’d always been thankful for the team, for the bond they’d built through years of shared dreams and struggles. But Jisung? Jisung was different.
There was a time when Minho thought he’d lose him. Arguments and misunderstandings had threatened to drive a wedge between them more than once. But Jisung had stayed. Even when Minho had pushed, Jisung had refused to budge, his stubbornness matched only by his unwavering belief in their connection.
“Why do you always have to make things so difficult?” Jisung had once asked him, exasperation evident in his tone.
And Minho had shrugged, unable to put into words the fear he carried - the fear of being left behind.
But Jisung had seen through him, as he always did. “I’m not going anywhere, you idiot,” he’d said, his voice softer but no less firm.
Minho hadn’t believed him then, not fully. But he did now.
The crowd roared as Jisung’s voice reached the peak of his verse, his tone climbing effortlessly before dipping back into a soft, almost conversational cadence. The moment should have brought Minho back to the present, but it didn’t.
Instead, he found himself thinking about all the times Jisung had been there for him - in the quiet, unseen ways that mattered most. The way he always knew when Minho needed space and when he needed someone to drag him out of his own head. The way he’d sit with him in silence, no words necessary, just a steady presence that reminded Minho he wasn’t alone.
Jisung was his safety net, the one person Minho trusted to catch him when he fell.
And maybe that’s why he didn’t notice the way Jisung was looking at him.
Up on the screen, Jisung’s gaze shifted, his eyes finding Minho with an ease that spoke of familiarity and something unspoken. His lips moved fluidly, shaping each word with practiced precision, but there was something in his expression - something softer, more deliberate.
He was singing to the crowd, yes. But in that moment, it was as if he were singing to Minho alone.
The intensity of Jisung’s gaze should have been obvious, even startling. But Minho didn’t see it, too caught up in his own thoughts to realize he was the center of someone else’s focus.
If he had looked, he might have noticed the way Jisung’s voice softened ever so slightly, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners like they always did when he was holding back a smile.
But Minho didn’t look.
Instead, he let his own expression soften further, the corners of his mouth curving upward in a smile that wasn’t meant for anyone else to see.
For all his sharp edges and guarded walls, Minho knew this to be true: He was incredibly, undeniably lucky.
Lucky to be here. Lucky to have this.
Lucky to have Jisung.
The song ended, the final notes ringing out as the crowd erupted into thunderous applause. The moment passed, fleeting but no less significant, like so many others they’d shared.
Minho finally blinked, his focus shifting back to the present as he straightened on the floor. Jisung crouched next to him, a playful grin spreading across his face as he said something that was undoubtedly teasing.
Minho rolled his eyes, shoving at Jisung’s shoulder with just enough force to elicit a dramatic stumble.
“Stop being annoying,” Minho muttered, though the fondness in his tone betrayed him.
Jisung only laughed, the sound bright and full of life.
MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES
And Minho thought, not for the last time, how lucky he was.
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Taglist (Please let me know if you want to be added to or removed from the taglist):
@atinyniki @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @aaa-sia @lilmisssona @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @rebecca-johnson-28 @lixie-phoria @kibs-and-bits @xxstrayland @ihrtlix @pheonixfire777 @mellhwang @palindrome969 @theo4eve @harshaaaaa @rylea08 @heeyboooo @manuosorioh @gisaerlleri @andassortedkpop @lailac13 @bbokari711 @kazuuuaaa @rssamj @wolfyychan @stellasays45 @chrizzztopherbang @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @silentreadersthings @myforevermelody143 @sapphirewaves @minh0scat @dis-trict9
71 notes · View notes
thewintersoldierdisaster · 1 year ago
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all my mat fics are linked below with a word count and little summary. i’ll add to the list as fics get written. hope you all enjoy 🫶🏻
* indicates smut
nathan scott era* (4.3k)
hanging out in a dive bar on long island, the last thing you expect to see is mat with a guitar over his shoulder, joining the cover band on stage
oh and it’s alright (4.8k)
after spending the day hanging out with the team, you have some news for mat
santa & baby (3.4k)
you and mat bring talia to meet santa at the islanders family holiday skate
twisted in bedsheets* (6.2k)
mat’s a blanket thief and tries to make it up to you
rough & rowdy* (4.5k)
after mat’s fight during the blackhawks game, you’re both worked up with extra energy to get out of your systems
get your game on go play* (7k)
all star weekend with mat in toronto is one to remember
my hand is the one you reached for* (3.3k)
it’s ethan and lenasia’s wedding day and mat’s the best man. it’s not your fault that he looks so damn good in a suit
like something from the movies (4.9k)
sunrise on the beach with mat becomes your favorite memory
a mat by any other name would taste as sweet (2.3k)
you take advantage of mat’s sweet tooth to trick him into doing a tik tok video with you
win and in* (2.7k)
mat and the boys clinch a playoff berth in game 81, you celebrate with him when he gets home
a face for broadcast (2.9k)
the msg broadcast gets double the barzal men for a little bit
kindergarten blues (4.3k)
it’s talia’s first day of kindergarten and neither you nor mat is handling it particularly well
convince me (1k)
roping mat into another tik tok trend ends pretty much not how you expected it to go, but you’re not complaining
dirty thirty* (10.9k)
you turn thirty and mat makes sure it’s a birthday to remember
oh, what a flight* (3.7k)
mat’s bored and horny on your flight to venice and it doesn’t take too much convincing to get your on board with his plan
i want you, i need you, oh god* (3.5k)
mat comes home from golf to find you set up for another tik tok video, much to his surprise and excitement
slow down, you’re doing fine (4.2k)
being a bridesmaid in a wedding out east is the perfect reason for a little family and friends getaway, but you can’t completely let go of your anxieties
oh my, good lord* (2.3k)
in your second trimester, you’re constantly worked up and desperate for mat, in any shape or form
plotting, planning, & pranking (3.2k)
during a visit, you and liana convince mat to join you in another tik tok video, with a twist
a wonderful christmastime (6.4k)
you and mat have an early christmas gift for talia (and inadvertently, the rest of the family too)
loving you is some kind of wonderful* (7.5k)
on a cold february day on long island, you and mat make it official surrounded by your friends and family
headacanons
mat and comforting you on the phone
mat and his birthday
mat and his birthday (squeaks verse specific)
mat and his slutty summer shorts*
mat and father’s day
mat and the green suit
mat and your bad day
mat and kid pranks
mat and the condom incident*
mat and his kinks*
mat and the origin of ‘squeaks’
mat and the eras tour
mat and christmas decorations*
mat and a day off
mat and your mental health day
mat and the jellycat cafe
playlist
330 notes · View notes
sandwitchstories · 8 months ago
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Sandwitchstories Master List
Hi there! I'm Witch! This is my main blog. Here you will find my fanfics and also get to enjoy (and possibly be traumatized by) the weird (and very horny) stuff that I share!
Below the cut you will find my Masterlist. All links will take you to my AO3. It is organized by fandom. SFW/NSFW ratings and pairings are listed for each fic. Series and Multi-Chapter fics are labeled as such. (Click on their links to see all works related).
If you prefer to read my fics on Tumblr search #sandwitchstories or visit my side blog @oeuvre-of-sandwitch (starring ONLY my Tumblr fic posts).
Fandoms I currently write for: Jujutsu Kaisen (JJK) and Demon Slayer (KNY)
Other Fandoms I have works for: Fairy Tail and Buddy Daddies
MDNI with NSFW fics and posts
Dividers by @sweetmelodygraphics
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Jukutsu Kaisen (JJK) Fics
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Satoru Gojo
Kintsugi (Satoru Gojo x Y/N - NSFW - Winner of 100 shares poll)
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Ryomen Sukuna
On Going Series! Daddy Duty (All of my Dad!Sukuna and Mouse's Mini-Verse works in one location! Dad!Sukuna x Y/N - SFW)
Chance Encounter - Series-Parts 1-3 (Sukuna x Y/N - NSFW)
For Better and For Worse (Sukuna x Y/N - NSFW)
But When It Comes To You (Sukuna x Y/N - NSFW)
My Monster (Sukuna x Y/N - NSFW - Kinktober 2024 - Day 2 Prompt: Monster)
Spoiled (Sukuna x Y/N - NSFW - Kinktober 2024 - Week 3 Prompt: Massage)
Stoned and Boned (Sukuna x Y/N - NSFW) - NEW 1/19/2025
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Demon Slayer (KNY) Fics
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Kyojuro Rengoku
Gratitude and Gratification (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N- NSFW) - NEW 2/1/2025
Carnal Delights (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N x the Uzuis - NSFW)
Mistletoe and Idle Hands (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N- NSFW)
The Sweet or The Spicy (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N- NSFW)
Red Light Special (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N- NSFW)
I Will Wait For You (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N- ANGST & NSFW)
Five Seconds (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N- NSFW)
What He Likes (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N- NSFW)
Stress Relief (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N - NSFW)
Challenge Accepted (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N - NSFW)
Safe In The Arms Of Love (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N - NSFW)
Hot For Teacher (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N - NSFW)
The Frog(tied) Princess (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N - NSFW - Sequel to Hot For Teacher but can be read alone)
Grown Up Birthday Blues (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N - Happy Birthday, Kyojuro! - NSFW)
Wildfire (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N - NSFW)
Fools Rush In (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N - NSFW)
Love At First Bite (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N - NSFW - Kinktober 2024 Day 1: Vampire)
The Reward (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N - NSFW - Kinktober 2024 - Day 18: Free Use)
The Battery Incident (Kyojuro Rengoku x Y/N - NSFW - Kinktober 2024 - Week 4: Mutual Masterbation/Toys)
Forever In Love (Kyojuro Rengoku x Female OC - Kimetsu Academy AU - Contains NSFW - Multi-Chapter)
Twin Flames (Kyojuro Rengoku x KNY OC, Rengoku Demon AU - NSFW - Multi-Chapter)
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Sanemi Shinazguawa
The Best Present (Sanemi Shinazugawa x Y/N - Happy Birthday, Sanemi! - NSFW)
Accidentally Happily Ever After (Sanemi Shinazugawa x Y/N Surprise Pregnancy - NSFW - Three Chapters- Completed)
Say It (Sanemi Shinazugawa x Y/N - NSFW)
A Cure for Restlessness (Sanemi Shinazugawa x Y/N - NSFW)
Temptation - (Sanemi Shinazugawa x Y/N - NSFW - Kinktober 2024 Day 3: Costume)
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Shinjuro Rengoku
A Father's Love (Shinjuro Rengoku x Y/N - SFW) - Head cannons about Shinjuro getting a 2nd chance
The Shy Guy (Shinjuro Rengoku x Y/N - NSFW)
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Buddy Daddies
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Bitey Daddies (Vampire AU- SFW)
I'm no hero, and I'm not made of stone (Kazuki Kurusu x Rei Suwa - SFW)
I Choose You (Kazuki Kurusu x Rei Suwa - SFW)
Jump Around (Rei Suwa - SFW)
The Diabolical Grandpa (Kazuki Kurusu x Rei Suwa SFW)
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Fairy Tail
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Erza Scarlet
A Game of Facades (Erza Scarlet x Jellal Fernandes - Evil Erza AU- Event: Fairy Tail Reverse Bang 2022 - CW: implied sexual content)
3G: Gay Girls Ghost Hunting (Erza Scarlett x MiraJane Strauss - for the Fairy Tail Reverse Bang 2022- SFW)
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Laxus Dreyar
The Little Spoon (Laxus Dreyar x Orga Nanagear - SFW)
Electric Love (Laxus Dreyar x Freed Justine - SFW)
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Sting Eucliffe and Rogue Cheney
The Story Of Us (Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney- SFW - Series has been completed )
A Little Bit Older On This Roller Coaster (Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney NSFW)
Groomzilla (Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney NSFW)
You're the night, You're the light (Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney NSFW)
Totally Worth It (Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney NSFW)
Simply Eerie-sistable (Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney - Halloween - NSFW)
Sex For Breakfast (Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney NSFW)
Feel The Beat Of My Heart As The Count Down Starts (Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney - New Years - NSFW)
The Sweetest Taboo (Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney x Yukino Aguria- NSFW)
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Stingue Event: Shadowlight Week (2021 and 2023)
Lost and Found (Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney - SFW - first meeting - Shadowlight week -Day 1- First-2021)
Anything For Love (Day 1 -Dare- Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney - SFW- 2023)
The Monster Mash (Day 2 - Thrill/Undress - Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney - NSFW)
Showtime (Day 3 Prompt - Watching - Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney NSFW-2023)
Lion Bears, Bugs and Potions OH MY! ( Day 4 - Monsters/Potions - Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney - SFW-2023)
In Your Love (Day 5 - Sweet/Spice - Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney - SFW- 2023)
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Fairy Tail x OC (All of my Fairy Tail x OC works. There are one shots and multi-chapter works. These are all from my very early days in fic writing. I may revisit these someday. Sting Eucliffe x Rogue Cheney x OC, Rogue Cheney x OC, Sting Eugliffe x OC - NSFW)
171 notes · View notes
rainintheevening · 9 months ago
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Peter writes home from the battlefield every chance he can.
Lucy's letters are full of barely rhyming, rambling poetry, talk of stars and trees and any plants or animals he's seen. He puts in all the words that will never describe any of this, but still there is a great sky above him, and a big heart in his chest, and he hopes she will understand. She could if anyone can.
To Edmund he sends the muddy, bloody, wobbly-writing letters, the ones with rambling memories of Narnian battles and strategy, though he takes care to phrase it as 'playing in the woods', not wanting the censors to get leery. There are also many theological musings, and usually the continuation of whatever Bible verse Ed has sent in his letter. I wish you were here, and yet I am glad you are not, is a sentiment oft repeated.
Susan and Mother usually get the same letter, little stories of kindness shown or soft things appreciated. He asks them for more socks for Jackie, an extra bar of chocolate for Hamish, tells them how he's gotten his whole unit to memorize the Jabberwocky poem, and they make each other smile with it.
Dad is usually named with Susan and Mother, but sometimes he gets an extra scribble, usually a single scripture reference, or the name of a local boy now dead, and a few things Peter asks him to go tell the family.
Eustace gets the occasional missive folded in with the rest, usually sketches of aeroplanes, with which Eustace is fascinated, though they aren't very good sketches. If there's a sketch for Eustace, there is usually also a sketch for Jill, something Narnian, a sword or a forest or a castle.
Professor Kirke only gets occasional letters, usually short and to the point, but written in particularly formal language, as of a king writing to a dear advisor.
They all write to Peter.
Professor Kirke sends exerpts of whatever philosophy or theology or history books he just happens to be reading at the time he remembers to write. Sometimes it seems very random to Peter, but he loves it.
Eustace's letters are infrequent, but burst with colourful descriptions of his school life that make Peter laugh.
Dad usually just scribbles scripture references at the bottom of Mother's letters. Susan signs those too. Mother's letters are full of ordinary home life, rich with the warmth of hearthlight and fresh baking and good books and comfortable chairs and a much loved old quilt. She says what everyone is doing much more clearly, tells how the garden is coming in.
Mother and Susan are also very good at writing to the boys who don't have anyone to write to them. (Peter has a picture of his family, and everyone in Peter's unit thinks Susan is the prettiest girl in Europe, that she should be a queen, but they all watch what they say around Peter, they know how he feels about his sister's honour. But it really does bring up morale.)
Edmund doesn't usually say a lot, but he's regular, always engaging with whatever musings Peter put in his previous letter, making some of his own references to Narnia, usually to things Oreius taught them, and always concluding with a Bible verse. Half the time Ed absently addresses the missive To High King Peter, my brother... He never actually says I'll find you when I join up, I promise, it's just sort of there, between the lines.
Lucy's letters are like blue sky and fresh air and a fierce hug. Sometimes Peter can almost smell Narnia on the paper. They're not long, but she says I love you all the time, and talks of the weather and the flowers, and the girls at school who are struggling, and how she's trying to help them, and there's always a bit of poetry or a hymn that she's written, but it's actually good, compared to Peter's stuff. Courage, dearest brother, she always says. Remember the Lion, she always finishes.
Peter gets so many letters he has to start sending them back to his family for safe keeping.
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tightjeansjavi · 11 months ago
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The Rite of Movement | part six
“I’m sad again, don’t tell my girlfriend”
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A/N: fun fact about the little black cat in the moodboard! It’s actually my friend’s cat Artemis 🥺 love that little fur baby to the moon and back! Don’t let the title fool y’all…it’s a little sad of a chapter but don’t worry!! Everything is going to be fine!! I pinky promise 💗
~word count: 4.0k~
Summary: Joel opens up to you about his past at Brazzers and before he met you
Pairing | pornstar!joel x pornstar!female reader
Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, established relationship, discussions of toxic societal norms, the adult film industry, past relationships, grief, intimacy, communication, unconditional love, unprotected piv, cock warming, mentions of alcohol, Joel is in his 40’s reader is in her 30’s, reader has no physical descriptions, readers nickname is baby love, +18 minors dni!
series masterlist
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Calloused fingertips gently pluck wire guitar strings that once were coated in a fine layer of dust. Muscle memory takes over with each gentle thrum of the chords. He hasn’t played in years, the temptation arising, but never fulfilled. He used to play for Sarah, unable to say no when she’d curl up in his lap and watch him lightly pluck the strings. Carmen would watch from the kitchen, a soft smile etched on her face seeing Joel and her daughter bonding so soon.
Whad’ya wanna hear tonight, babygirl? Should we play your ma’s favorite?
Sarah curled up with her cheek pressed against Joel’s chest, his chin came to rest along the top of her head of curls as her small fingers reached out to pluck one of the strings, the baby song, Joelie! She giggled softly, and Joel’s heart melted into a puddle.
I love you, baby
And if it's quite alright
I need you, baby
To warm the lonely night
I love you, baby…
He can never say no to you, not when you look at him with those eyes, and in a honeyed tone asking him to play you a song while you’re sitting side by side, the comforting crackle and pops from the fire pit, a light quilt draped across your thighs, and Artemis curled up in your lap, purring happily.
“Whad’ya wanna hear, baby love?” He rasps, turning his head to the side, resting his chin along his shoulder as he looks over at you.
“Something that makes you feel, Joel.”
He swallowed the growing lump rising in his throat, glancing downwards towards his fingers lightly plucking the strings, “Somethin’ that makes me…feel?” His throat felt parched, brows furrowed inwards. “Okay.” He said softly, inhaling a lungful of air, clearing his airways. “I’m shit at singin’, jus’ so you know, baby love.”
“Don’t care, Joel. I wanna hear you.” You said softly, knee brushing against his as you rested your cheek against the cushion, a gentle expression on your face, eyes soft and holding adoration.
His fingers trembled under the soft glow from the fire as he began to strum the chords, To Make You Feel My Love. He was a bit rusty at first, missing a few notes here and there, till he fell back into a comfortable familiarity.
When the rain's blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case, I would offer you a warm embrace, to make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear, and there is no one to dry your tears, I could hold you for a million years, to make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet, but I would never do you wrong, I've known it from the moment that we met, there’s no doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue, I'd go crawling down the avenue, there ain't nothing that I wouldn't do, to make you feel my love, mm…
His voice was warm, raspy and lulling. It held a gentle timbre that sent a warm tingle down your spine, tugging on your heartstrings in tandem.
He stumbled over the next verse, voice cracking and fingers losing their grip on the strings. He didn’t realize he was crying, hot wet tears streaming down his cheeks until he felt your gentle palm on his jaw.
Storms— are raging on a rolling sea, down the highway of regret—
“Joel.” You said softly, thumb brushing across his cheekbone, brushing away his tears that were flowing like a river, “Joel, hey. Look at me, baby. Look at me.”
“I—I’m sorry.” He choked, “I-I’m jus’ a bit rusty is all, baby love. S’been years since I’ve played this old thing.” He sniffled, jaw clenching and unclenching as you smoothed your thumb back and forth across his damp skin.
“Joel.” You reiterated soft, yet firm.
“I don’t even understand why I’m cryin’. Where did those tears come from? They weren’t there before. Must jus’ have somethin’ in my eye. Maybe it’s the smoke from the fire—” he rambled on.
“Joel Miller.”
That seemed to catch his attention as he met your gaze, blinking a few times with dark lashes wet and glistening. His lower lip wobbled and you had never seen him like this before, never this vulnerable, never this scared. Never this afraid of judgement that would never fall upon his shoulders, because you loved him unconditionally. No amount of fat tears, or stuttered speech would deter you from loving him.
“C’mere.” You said in understanding, gently prying the guitar from his grasp and coaxed him into your awaiting arms.
He wordlessly wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tightly with his face buried against your neck. His hands slipped under the back of your hoodie, feeling desperate for skin to skin contact to further soothe his emotions. “I’m sorry…” he whispered, hot breath fanning your neck, tears soaking into the neckline of your hoodie.
“Joel, what are you sorry for? Because of your emotions?…baby, it’s OK. You don’t have to apologize for being emotional. That is nothing to be sorry for.” You said softly, letting one hand rest at the back of his head, gently scratching his scalp with your nails while the other was rubbing circles against his back.
“I know—I jus’, I got caught up in the moment s’all. It really has been years since I last played…” he trailed off.
“Do you want to talk about it?…”
“Yeah.” He sniffled, fingers gently flexing along your lower back. “I do—I jus’ need a minute.”
“It’s okay, Joel. I understand, and I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” You reassured him.
She loves me, for me. She’s holding me, and wiping my tears. She sees me, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now than here in her arms.
“I know.” He whispered, “I ain’t goin’ anywhere either, baby love.”
You nodded in understanding, gently brushing away a loose curl that fell across his forehead. “For all your pretty, and all of your ugly, I’m here.”
He took a few minutes to compose himself, racking through memories in his brain that were flashing like images on a silver screen. When he and Tommy went back home to Austin, Joel had reentered the dating culture expecting success, and was met with the complete opposite. Women in Texas had opposing values compared to the women he encountered in LA. It had gotten to the point where he was beginning to truly believe that he wasn’t deserving of love or partnership.
“If you want women to like you, I suggest that you seriously consider finding a new career that doesn’t exploit women for their bodies. You didn’t actually think that you’d get a free pass, did you?” His date sitting across from him laughed and reached for her purse in a haste.
He felt defeated and beaten down as he sunk further against the the back of the chair, “If you would just let me explain why I chose this career, and that I am not exploiting women for their bodies—”
“You fuck for a living, Joel. It’s disgusting. Good luck to you, cause you’re gonna need it.” She said unkindly, slinging her purse over her shoulder and walked off.
He ground his jaw back and forth, clenching his teeth together as he felt the bitter sting of rejection pierce his heart out that was laid out on his sleeve. He reached for his wallet, suddenly feeling a dozen pairs of eyes on him in the intimate restaurant. Heat spread from his neck to his face in a bright flush of embarrassment and shame.
He paid the bill, apologizing profusely to the waitress both verbally and with a handsome tip. He gathered up his feelings, tucking them back away into a box as he swiped his thumb across the side of his nose, feeling tears begin to prick and pool.
“Joel, you just haven’t met the right one yet.” Tommy tried to explain to him over a couple beers in Joel’s backyard. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. Ain’t worth it.”
Joel scoffed under his breath, taking a swig from the beer bottle as he shook his head, “Tommy, you don’t understand. Women like you. They think you’re charming and barely bat an eye when you tell them about your job, but me? As soon as the words ‘adult film industry’’, or ‘pornstar’ come out, the narrative flips. And I am apparently not a feminist, I’m a disgusting person who exploits women for their bodies and I’m a pervert.” He laughed bitterly, feeling angry tears threatening to spill over,
“How is anyone going to see my heart if they’re not willing to look past what I do for a living?” He sniffled, “I jus’ have so much fuckin’ love to give, and no one wants it, Tommy. No one.”
Tommy shakes his head, dejected, devastated for his big brother. "I don't know, Joel. But if anyone is meant for love, real, true love, it's you. So I have to hold out hope."
-
You continued to gently pet his hair and while he silently worked through gathering his thoughts. You would sit out there with him for hours if he needed more time.
“Do you ever…have memories that jus’ pop up outta nowhere? Like, you’re jus’ goin’ about your day, and you just stop because you remembered something, or a memory pops up?” He suddenly said, eyes flickering to your gaze.
“More often than I’d like to admit.” You confirmed, encouraging him to continue.
“I wasn’t lyin’ when I said I haven’t played guitar in a long time. We’re talkin’ years. I’ve lost track if I’m bein’ honest. Anyway, memories of my past just creep in every now and then, and I want you—to know those pieces of me.”
“And playing guitar brought those memories to the surface? That’s understandable, Joel.”
He nodded, confirming your assumptions. “Yeah, exactly that. Anyway, I don’t know where to start I guess?”
“Wherever you feel most comfortable?” You suggested.
“Well, remember how I told you that I quit Brazzers on my 30th birthday? I did more than just quit. I pulled a complete 180 on my life in a matter of hours.” He started, taking a deep breath before he continued, “I was in a serious relationship at the time with someone who I had seriously considered spending the rest of my life with, y’know?”
“I understand, Joel.” You said softly.
“My girlfriend, Carmen and I were together for a few years. I met her on my 27th birthday at some bar close to the apartment Tommy and I were living in at the time. It started off casual if I’m being honest. I was apprehensive of telling her about my job because I knew that it probably would be poorly received. We just—we clicked. I felt like I could be myself around her and vice versa. We started getting serious at some point, and I finally told her that I was a pornstar. She initially took it a lot better than I expected, but she had a secret of her own to tell me.”
You couldn’t help the smile that was slowly tugging on the corner of your lips as you listened to Joel recounting memories from his past before he met you.
“That secret happened to be her 6 year old daughter, Sarah. She was the sweetest kid, baby love. She was a little shy at first, but I took the possibility of being her stepfather in stride.” He glanced downwards, the corners of his mouth twitching as if he was going to smile. “I loved that little girl like she was my own. And I truly wanted Carmen and I to work out, but she never accepted me for who I was. She resented the fact that I was a pornstar, and that ultimately led to me breaking up with her. I didn’t want to fight for someone who wasn’t going to fight for me, y’know?”
“I think it’s completely understandable why you broke up with her, Joel. I think one of the bare minimum expectations in a relationship is acceptance of who you are from your partner. I could see if you were doing something harmful to either yourself or her or others, but she had no right to judge you for the choices you made in your life.” You reached for his hand, interlocking your fingers through his hand gave it a gentle squeeze. “Isn’t that what we all want in life? Is acceptance for who we are?”
“I think it was also only a matter of time before one of us was going to cut the cord. And I truly believe if I didn’t quit Brazzers that day, her and I would have still been together, but I imagine it was inevitable for us to break up. I wasn’t even mad at her for it either. I was…disappointed because I loved her unconditionally. I would have gone to the ends of the earth for her, and I just had to accept that she wouldn’t do the same for me.” He sighed, brushing his thumb across the outside of your hand in a gentle sweep.
“Did you end up telling her that you quit working at Brazzers?”
He shook his head, lips curving downwards into a frown as he met your gaze once more, “no. I never told her that I quit because she would have believed that I quit for her when that wasn’t the case. I didn’t want to compromise who I was just to appease her. And I have a feeling that if I did tell her I quit, we wouldn’t have broken up, and that would have benefited no one. It fuckin’ hurt like hell afterwards though. I jus’ remember Tommy coming back from his smoke break and he found me on my knees outside on the patio just this blubbering fuckin’ mess.” He stifled a chuckle.
“You realized that you deserved better, Joel. Not everyone comes to that realization, but you did. Life’s too short to be with someone who won’t be there for you the way that you were for them. But of course it hurt, and I can only imagine the pain that you felt after the fact because you thought that this person was your endgame. You already had the mindset of fully settling down with her, and then you had to make the tough decision with both her feelings in mind and your own. And you know what? I’m proud of you.”
He had an incredulous look plastered on his face when you said that you were proud of him. ���You’re…what? I don’t understand. Why—why are you proud of me for that?”
“Because instead of staying in a relationship that was never going to work out, no matter how hard you tried, you pulled the plug and told yourself that you deserved better. And you do, Joel. It’s no one’s business to know why you chose the career path that you did. To shame and judge you for something that they’ll never understand because society views sex work as something to feel shamed for. It goes against the ideal norms that have been instilled in us since birth. People don’t like that, Joel. And that’s not to say that Carmen wasn’t good to you in some capacity, but the resentment was there and nothing was going to change that.”
“Yeah, and the person who I do deserve is sitting right across from me. I wouldn’t have met you if I didn’t pull the plug when I did. Maybe I would have never quit Brazzers and moved back to Austin to start Miller-Co. Maybe you and I…would have never met. Because you? You—fuckin’ get me. From the second that you and I met, I just got this feeling in my chest that you were going to have a major impact on my life, baby love. And as cliche as it’s gonna fuckin’ sound, I believe that everything happens for a reason.” He breathed out, big brown eyes glassy, his nose twitching as he let out a soft sniffle.
“Alright, who’s cutting the onions now? Is it you, or is it Artie?” You softly giggled, fighting through your own brewing tears because you had never loved someone so deeply till you met Joel. It was surreal to feel an instant connection to someone, but he made things easy in the sense that you could be yourself around him. You found that you could speak your mind, you could be passionate, sad, angry, happy, and he never made you feel small for your larger than life feelings. Never made you feel like you were too much, or too little. His love for you was effortless, unconditional.
“I mean it, baby love. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve never laughed more with another person than I do with you. I’ve never felt more honest with myself and my feelings till you walked into my life. I tried dating here and there shortly after I ended things with Carmen because I just wanted to feel something again, y’know? I just didn’t realize how judgemental people could be till I left LA. It got to the point where I felt like maybe all the women telling me that I should be ashamed, and I’m this disgusting pervert were right. Maybe a man like me isn’t deserving of love. Tommy reassured me that I just hadn’t met the right one, and he was right. I hadn’t met you yet.”
Ring. Ring. Ring. I need a fucking ring. He thought to himself.
This is going to be the man I’m going to marry, right? Please tell me he’s the one. I don’t want to do this all over again with someone else. He’s my person. I know he is. You thought.
Neither of you were sure who leaned in first, or if it was just a gravitational pull between your bodies that drew you both in, but suddenly you felt his hot breath fanning your lips, and those dark espresso colored eyes reflecting the warm glow from the crackling fire staring directly into your soul. If only you had known that he wished at that moment that he had a ring.
And when your lips met, slotting together like two puzzle pieces, it was brief due to a soft meow from your lap and Artemis had crawled her way between you and Joel, swatting playfully at one of the strings on his hoodie. He detached his lips from yours, looking down at his little fur baby with adoration as a warm chuckle slipped past his lips. “You, Missy, are a real cock blocker, y’know that?” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and gathered her up in his arms. “I’ll be right back, ‘kay? You want anything to drink? I was gonna open up a nice bottle of Chardonnay? You in, baby love?”
“Oh, a glass of Chardonnay would be lovely, baby. But hurry back, okay? I’m not finished with you yet.” You leaned over the cushion, brushing your lips against the corner of his jaw before settling back into a comfortable position.
“Oh, I ain’t finished with you either, baby love. And that’s a fact.” He winked suggestively and stood up, cradling Artemis against his chest and you watched as he headed back towards the house, and disappeared through the back door.
You let out a content sigh, gazing up at the millions of stars visible on this crystal clear night. Your thoughts consisted of Joel, and how he made you feel like you were always the only person in the room. And how your love for one another was a two way street. Never in your wildest dreams did you think you’d meet someone like him. And when you heard the back door open and close, and his footsteps approaching, your heart skipped a beat.
You watched as he slowly sank down against the cushion, two wine glass stems held securely in one large palm, and in the other a bottle of Chardonnay.
He looked over at you as he worked the bottle opener corkscrew into the cork, twisting it slowly with the sleeves of his hoodie pushed up over his forearms that were lightly flexing with each twist. Before he could finish opening the bottle, however, you were crawling into his lap, situating your thighs on either side of his hips as you straddled him.
He leaned his back against the cushion, pausing his movements of opening the bottle, the corners of his lips quirking upwards as you looped your arms around his neck, fingers gently playing with the curls at the base of his hairline.
“What’re you doin’, baby love?” He rasped softly.
“Can I sit on it while you finish opening that?”
“You wanna sit on my cock while I pour us a couple glasses of wine? Mmm…I had a feelin’ that’s what you were gonna ask me, baby love.” He chuckled.
“Yeah…I just want to feel you, baby. Do you want that?”
“Of course I want that, baby love. Lucky for you, I went with no underwear this evening.” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully as you giggled, peppering kisses across his jawline and just below his ear.
“Is that so?” You nipped playfully at his earlobe, scraping your teeth against his skin gently.
“Mhmmm.” He rumbled out a response, feeling his cock stir to life in the loose confines of his cotton sweats. “Anytime you want, baby, all of me s'yours.” He confirmed, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your head.
You reached between your bodies, gently palming him through the fabric as he lifted his hips upwards so you could pull his cock free. He used his freehand to help you pull your own sweats down just enough that they were over your hips, and he used his thumb to pull your panties to the side, assisting you as you grasped the base of his cock and slowly seated yourself on him.
He let out a low grunt as you shifted your hips to get more comfortable while he finished uncorking the bottle of wine with a soft pop. You felt him grow harder inside of you, the girth of his cock stretching you open as your body accommodated to his size: a perfect fit.
“Feels nice.” You both said in unison letting the feeling of being connected mind, body, and soul, wash between you.
He reached for the two glasses, somehow managing to steadily pour the wine into both and set the bottle down so it wouldn’t tip over. He handed you your glass, clinking them together gently before you both took a sip.
“Hey, Joel?”
“Yeah, baby love?” He had his head tilted back against the cushion, eyes staying locked on yours as he brought the rim of the glass to his lips and took another sip. You felt your walls clench around him just from that simple action alone.
“I think for the next video we film…I want it to be with you and Tommy.”
“Mmm.” He hummed, letting his freehand drop down and grab onto your exposed hip, pressing you in further to him as his cock twitched inside of you, “I think we can arrange that, baby love.”
You let out a soft gasp that was replaced with his warm lips kissing you, tasting the tang and sweetness from the wine on your tongue. And even though you were just sitting on him, enjoying the intertwined feeling of being connected, he dropped his hand from your hip, moving it between your bodies till he found your clit and began to rub the sensitive bud in gentle, orgasm-inducing circles till you were gushing around his cock from the stimulation alone.
He drank down your soft moans, whispering praises and sweet nothings that were only meant for your ears. And even as the fire began to die, and your glasses were empty, wine warming your bellies, you stayed like this, connected as one.
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m3tr0n0m333 · 5 months ago
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»A SPARK OF HOPE«
A fankid AU: Introduction
Circa 200 years into the future…
Past the death of the renowned, world famous hero: Sonic the Hedgehog, his immortal rival resides in a secluded location not many know about, or dare to stumble upon. He’s made himself a peaceful abode, isolated from the rest of the world— prying eyes or hands seeking his power or presence.
Shadow merely wishes to live without the stress of catastrophe weighing on his shoulders. And with the death of the biggest villain of the era- Doctor Robotnik, he succeeds for the most part- until a mysterious illness overcomes him, and he’s forced to reach out for help.
Upon wandering to the familiar-yet-changed Emerald Town, Shadow spots a recognizable logo on a building.
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With curiosity and intrigue, the ebony hedgehog makes his next exploration the inside of this tall establishment.
[REFS AND MORE UNDER CUT]
No, it will not stay this well formatted most of the time. Guess I just felt like putting effort into it.
This au focuses around Tails, Shadow, and my fankid, Sparks! (No ships between these three, although they do end up as a family of sorts.) (+ Silver, who exists around this time, gets to be the cool cousin of sorts)
Shadow, as described, had isolated himself for quite a few years. And got an illness. But it’s far from mysterious.
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His inhibitor rings have rusted and aren’t as effective as they were, well, 200 years ago, causing his chaos energy to run irregularly and make him fatigued/sick. Of course, it was a gradual process, so it was a little difficult to have spotted it right away. And when you’re sick, the obvious becomes… less obvious?
During this lengthy intermission between supposed canon and au, (I may go off canon quite a bit. I’m not professionally well versed in all the Sonic lore…) Miles Prower (formedly gone as “Tails” for his iconic two tailed ‘mutation’) had grown rather successful. A well-off entrepreneur of his own brand. He lives comfortably, although he does lack the bonds he once had.
As a kitsune, Miles’ life expectancy is lengthened, and gaining another tail every 100 years. He had existed much past his more mortal friends and allies, but pushed forwards to a brighter future, sort of. In this time, he has developed more of his kitsune oriented abilities, taking a favor to illusions.
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Shadow wanders upon the main building, the HQ erected at Emerald Town, where his house once was. As Shadow wanders, Miles is aware of the old friend bumbling through the building and decides to play a little prank with some illusions and the high tech security measures he has installed in the building. (Nothing harmful, promise)
Once Shadow reaches the top, Miles reveals himself with a bold act of bravado. As of which they have some reunion and reaccqeuaintence time. Shadow explains his problem to Miles, Miles points out the problem and offers to make Shadow new inhibitor rings (and fix his air shoes in the process). Afterwards, he offers a residence for Shadow with him, but the hedgehog refuses, intending to return to his reclusive life.
On his path of return, he comes across a kid, sitting alone in the rain.
He resembles someone.
Spiky blue quills colored like the wind and the sky, peachy fur on his chest and muzzle. Pointed ears, although a bit droopier.
He sat with his legs pressed against his chest, on the edge of the sidewalk. Alone, yet he wears an expression closer to irritation rather than fear or melancholy.
After some questioning, he discovers that the kid ran from an orphanage, one he describes as nasty and disrespectful to him, like gum sticking his shoe to the floor. He describes that he had ran, to find some freedom. He’s a fast runner, you know? Maybe if he can get faster and faster, he may actually break the barrier keeping him chained to the orphanage.
When the sky darkens, illuminating the moon and the stars, Shadow stands. To lead the kid back to where he should be encourages him to have hope, but without acting to give him it. Words are empty when actions don’t reflect it.
The kid begs to let him free. Lead him somewhere else, not back to his prison. No one will take him back in the orphanage. He deserves to be free. He can take care of himself out here- a string of reasons to grasp why he shouldn’t go back.
Shadow continues to walk in silence.
Perhaps it was pity. Shadow would like to believe it is, but it’s hard to describe the pull of his actions towards another decision. He felt this was right, despite denial weighing on this choice.
Shadow returned to the tall building, where Miles— although surprised to see his return— welcomed him back warmly. When asked for the reason of his return, Shadow provides a rather bashful explanation.
He doesn’t know how to take care of a child.
References + Character Design and Personality Rambles
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Eyyyy it’s the old man (quite literally at this point. He’s like 200+ years??). How did he survive all those years in isolation without going insane?? I have no idea. He probably talks to the animal inhabitants of the place he lived in I think. I like to think maybe he found himself an ancient library to make himself at home and spent most of his time reading books and doing house chores.
To be honest I tried to reference other Shadow redesigns because I also wanted to put some more Black Arms traits on him, but I honestly don’t know know much about the Black Arms so all he got was a longer tail <3
He’s a tiiiny bit pinker in this design. Like the red highlights on his quills are more pivoted towards the pink on the color wheel, and the white fur also has a tint of pink. No reason. He just gets to be slightly pinker. As a treat.
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^^ (Miles noticed. Shadow did not.)
Anyways, you may be wondering, why didn’t Shadow take the offer of staying with Miles the first time? After being alone without friends were so long, you would think he is drawn to the idea of having company again. Well, the thing is, I think that Shadow hates change, in a way. He’s drawn himself away from society, lived self sustained, without the pressures and all that. Suddenly, he gets the offer to reintegrate into a society he is not well versed in? Seems incredibly overwhelming. And Shadow believes he was perfectly content in his serene lifestyle.
He only reconsidered the second time because he doesn’t know how to take care of the kid he freshly adopted (and probably not correctly adopted either) and only thought of Tails for help. As far as he knows, Tails is the only other old friend that exists alongside him right now so…
This sets up the story of Shadow and Tails tries to take care of this kid and slowly forms into a type of found family that doesn’t quite fit into the boundaries of what a family would be like. They are not even close to traditional family roles, I think, other than a child-parent relationship between Shadow and Sparks (who I have yet to introduce)
During this story, Shadow gets back into the action of adventure again. He’s reminded of the exhilaration he felt in the past. Even little things such as banter and skating down hill. He missed it all, although he doesn’t admit it.
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Here is Miles!! He dropped the name “Tails” after a while, deeming it something he doesn’t identify as deeply with anymore. (Maybe because no one was around to call him that old nickname anymore)
So you know how I mentioned he’s become an entrepreneur of sorts? It was bound to happen, I think. Imagine living 200+ years and still not figuring out how to earn the most money and live comfortably.
Anyways, while coloring his design, I did realize that he vaguely reminds me of Eggman… it’s probably the red, gold and white colors. Fits him well though, yeah? He always did share some traits with Eggman, I think. He just turned out more benevolent, he still has the high tech tendencies that Eggman held, as well as other habits.
I think Miles had earned some of an ego over time. When most acquaintances leave(died), and you rise to the top, everyone feels so far. And Miles stop bothering to seek out meaningful relationships to save him some suffering. He can still have fun, he can still have friends- just not with the strong intimate bond he had with his initial family.
When Shadow returned, he felt a spark- the hope- the opportunity to have a semblance of the old life again. Nostalgia is a strong feeling. That is why he offered for Shadow to stay. He didn’t expect him to, but that didn’t stop his heart from swelling with joy when Shadow did return.
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Here is Sparks! The kid Shadow picked off the street yaknow yaknow… He is meant to resemble Sonic. Not uncannily resemble him though. Just enough that both Shadow and Tails can look at him and think… he kind of reminds me of his other blue hedgehog I had a deep connection with….
Part of why Shadow adopted Sparks is honestly because of his resemblance to Sonic. He would not like to acknowledge it, as it seems like such a cruel thing to give the hope of a new connection to someone that doesn’t know that that new connection did not start off new at all in the other side.
Of course, Sparks acts nothing like Sonic, despite similar appearances. Even though Sparks also shares the same sentiments— wanting freedom— as well as abilities— such as superspeed— Sparks acts more towards the pessimistic side. He’s not as charming as Sonic had been. (And although he does have superspeed, I believe it’s not to the extent that Sonic had.)
Additionally, when Shadow had been taking him back to the orphanage, he really wasn’t forced. Sparks intended to follow him back. Perhaps out of habit. And inevitable loop of escaping but returning once again. But also because if cowardice, knowing he wouldn’t be able to make it by himself. He’s immature, he’s inexperienced, Sparks is aware of that, yet still tries- only to the extent of what he knows he can succeed: aka running away, but never staying away. His cowardice is one of the traits he does not share with Sonic.
During his description of the orphanage to Shadow, he’s a bit of an unreliable narrator. The orphanage isn’t as miserable as Sparks describes it as. It’s a pretty normal orphanage, Sparks is just a troublemaker- and he hates the idea of being trapped in one place.
Anyways, Sparks resembles a star of sorts. He’s a little star themed. <3
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idontknowmyownmind · 6 months ago
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Soukoku Fanfics Reccomendation
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Everything Comes Back To You by TheGreatCatsby
all my own by halfbloom (diphylleias)
castles out of couches by halfbloom (diphylleias)
The scent of flowers is sweet, but the scent of you is sweeter by LunaSolstice
Four masterplans to win Chuuya’s heart by holdinglucy
25 little domesticities by holdinglucy
What's Your Name? by Wellthathappened (Cataclysmic_Calamity)
Everything or Nothing by Wellthathappened (Cataclysmic_Calamity)
Drunken Storytelling in Yokohama! by StormDew2
The Little Things by Badwolf36
what Chuuya would have said by orphan_account
Tales from Yokohama by AnonLearnsToWrite
O Children (give my gun away when it's loaded) by iskendaris
Always Yours by orphan_account, Wellthathappened (Cataclysmic_Calamity)
Touch by borntoshine
And His Lips Were Chanel Red by the_most_happy
these days, you're fine by wondernoise
I found love (where it wasn't supposed to be) by giorassol
My Bisexual Ass Likes You so Why Not, lol by Vitya_Viktorie
Call of the Depth by Shadow_Arashi
set alight, we're afire love by kiroiimye
your honeyed words from a silver tongue (or am i the only one worthy of your honesty?) by scripted_suicide
His Lover by loukass
skip and kiss by triptychism
sunset by dynashou
Lycanthropic Blues by Bemused_Writer
A monochrome painting by Fa113nM00n
Leia by likeshining
Saudade by hybridempress
Back on Your Feet by hybridempress
keep your windows open by Maristella
My Beloved Doll by orphan_account
Flirting With Disaster by Leonawriter
His Prized Experiment by fauxtales
Just Look by Anonymous
TearDrop by alchemy_omi
kataware doki by TheGreatCatsby
Wings of Corruption by Katical
When will you learn that your actions have consequences? by pinkjester
Even The Corrupted Can Love by Taintedazure
Bitter/Sweet by Badwolf36
In My Arms, You're Safe by EcchiSenpai
Five Times They Didn't Need Words and One Time They Did by StrangerThings7
Denouement by sunnyfleur
Promise Me by NightSama
until the pair of us are strangers (let's call it convenience) by jazzieshoes
Throwbacks and other things you don’t want to remember by tia_dreamer
Do No Harm by TheGreatCatsby
Hell Is Empty by Leonawriter
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Break It To Me Slowly by Leonawriter
It Was Snow That Made My Fingertips Cold by Leonawriter
And The Answer Is Yes by Leonawriter
Only Human by TheGreatCatsby
Touch Starved by Badwolf36
when you wish upon a star by ackerlynx
Turn Back the Clock by weepingwillows
carpe diem by diamondsinthesky (stella_caerulea)
caught in between by universalblips
Puppy Love by writingfromtheshadows
Killer Couple by outromri
The Ship Is Sailing by orphan_account
A Public Service Announcement by AnonLearnsToWrite
Dating comes with at least a 70% chance of grievous bodily harm by AnonLearnsToWrite
fire and calamity by Anonymous
Footsteps on the Ceiling by Insomnia_Productions
Dazai’s 10 Steps Guide to a Successful Marriage by Yellow_Canna
Switched by Yellow_Canna
Beneath the Dress (♂) by Yellow_Canna
ON-GOING
[Series] All hail our lord and savior Chuuya Nakahara by BlowingYourMind
[Series] Tracing Through Violets and Echoes by Kuranoa
[Series] Sheep verse by Shinkirou
[Series] Loveless AU by Shinkirou
[x Black Butler] One Hell of A Partner by Lawli_Pawp
[x The Avengers] The Avengers, a detective and a mobster by sednaxover12
Once Upon A Time by BluePastelLucas (VeniVediPerivi)
I'll Set Myself on Fire (Just to Keep You Warm) by Anonymous
Just Another Day in Yokohama City by ayyartee
ataraxis by lurochu
He Works Hard for the Money by orphan_account, Wellthathappened (Cataclysmic_Calamity)
Sweetest Devotion by orphan_account, Wellthathappened (Cataclysmic_Calamity)
Chasing Fireflies [HIATUS] by borntoshine
don't forget where you belong by Maristella
i will follow you into the dark by Maristella
darling, take me home by kiroiimye
long live by kiroiimye
The (In)humanity of Nakahara by earlofgreytea
[x MHA] Blue Bamboo: Japanese Tales of Fantasy by RiKuEersa
Unintentionally Erased by Chuuuuuuuuya
Honeybee by orphan_account
Stop All the Clocks by chuuyapedia, osamuchuu
Mama Chuuya by uzai_sagi
House of Tarot by uzai_sagi
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m1ssunderstanding · 1 year ago
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Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day Six
Paul and Linda: walk in. Me: Panics in bisexual
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He’s so weird. He’s been carrying her purse, gives it back, then tries to change his mind again and the look she gives him. ‘You’re very cute, but I can carry my shit.’ 
But the “Linda’s a cameraman.” Rare Paul feminism moment. Slow clap.
And then instantly, “I’d better go and put in some piano practice.” You fucking addict. Linda, what are you getting yourself into, girly?
“Actually, we’re going on a farm in Scotland.” “I’d love to find a . . . a farm.” I wonder at what point he showed it to her. So far, they’ve done the dirty weekend in LA, Christmas in Liverpool and Portugal, a stay in New York, and now London. Have they done the Mull of Kintyre at this point? Oh, boy. Today might be the Paul and Linda show for me, folks :/
Why does she look like a loving mom watching her daughter’s dance audition? 
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Paul taking Mal’s advice on “Standing” VS “Waiting” 
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“I feel the most relaxed around Ring.” Linda/Paul/Ringo threesome fic when?
Ringo again with the EXCELLENT taste in jackets. That blue is So pretty. With the black velvet collar. Immaculate. 
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“There’s enough obstacles without putting them in the song” is the most Paul quote ever. It’s like his artistic mission statement. The surface read of Paul’s songs is that they’re just these weightless, meaningless, pretty nothings. But the real read (part of) is that they’re meant as comforters, bolsterers, flashlights, and silver linings. 
He does love a good pair of hands, doesn’t he?
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He really is showing off for her, though, here. When Linda hasn’t been here, has Paul ever just sat down at the piano and run through all his new songs? Not even close. And it’s so immature and so lovely.
“It was like a comedy, when I heard it.” Proceeds to sing some of the most heavy, blue lyrics. The above comment on Paul’s music notwithstanding, I must admit there are also extreme levels of emotional repression going on. 
“Castle of the King of the Birds”!!!!!!! First of all, who is the "king of the birds" if not Paul McCartney? It’s so extremely beautiful. Achingly so. When I fist heard it, I was like “where have I heard that before?” and when Peter Jackson pointed out that it’s the Top Gun theme? How many songs out there are actually Paul McCartney’s illegitimate children? Like, be Lennon/McCartney with me, for a minute here, and translate this sexual metaphor into musical terms. Paul just jerks it a bit, and before he can even finish, about ten people are pregnant from a drop of his precum and ten magical star children are born who he has no idea of. Does that make any kind of sense at all to anyone?
Honestly love the political version of get back. And clearly so does Yoko. That’s the most I’ve seen her get into a song they’ve written, like, ever. Hey, guys. I have an idea. Maybe you should ask the actual immigrant for ideas on your pro-immigration song. Just a thought. 
 When you’re trying to flirt with your new GF but your ex keeps making you giggle
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A vignette of Lennon/McCartney’s writing process. Paul: trying to make up some lyrics. John: makes a joke lyric. Paul: puts it in and it works better than what he had. John: 
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John: I’ll be taking me shirt off. Paul: definitely not picturing it at all
Okay but my hot take is that the first two verses at least of “Came in through the bathroom window” are a diss track at Jane. Seriously though, it’s got to be one of my many underrated favs to come out of these sessions. Also, they’re so in love doing this one, my heart can’t take it. 
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“This isn’t daddy’s tea, is it?” And Yoko just, without skipping a beat, says, “No.” Girl, I know he’s the one calling you mommy in bed, don’t lie. 
It’s the mutual caring of it all, you know? How he’s sitting in her lap while playing with her hair. How he makes her laugh and she buries her face in his tummy. Gosh, she’s gonna love that tummy for almost thirty years. And while the breakup is heartbreaking, isn’t that lovely to think about? 
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George, you should’ve made a Bob Dylan cover album. He sounds sooo pretty. 
Ah, yes. The “Just Let it Be, love. He’s not going to leave you.” Dream Song. Which John does not look enthusiastic about. And then it becomes “Well, you said he wouldn’t leave me, mama. But, you know, he went and did it.”
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Peter Jackson, WHERE is that Linda/Yoko dish session audio, you absolute monster! Those are Not small-talk faces. Would I rather listen to what they’ve got to say than hear one of the twentieth century’s greatest masterpieces come to be? Yes. Yes, I would.
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sakkiichi · 1 year ago
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AUGUST.
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Glimpses of the departed month go by as you reminisce by the sea.
ft. Kaedehara Kazuha x gn! reader.
cw/genre: fluff, romance.
I honestly don’t know how to feel about this piece… definitely not my best work, but I wrote it, so I’m posting it. I hope someone still likes it.
if you enjoy this, reblogs and comments help more than likes !
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Blue.
Said alone, the word might have had a tendency for melancholy, cold, turbulence.
However, if anyone were to ask you right now, you’d deny every negative connotation the color might have ever been related to.
Because to you, blue was dusks by the sea; moments right after the last coppery rays had hidden behind the expanse of an ocean you could only wish to unveil all secrets of.
And perhaps, you liked this moment of day because the infinity of blue before you mirrored the feelings in your heart at ease.
Feelings of unbridled affection, boundless love.
For him.
Fair hair falls over his shoulders, like silk weaved out of stars, its tips illusory rose with the fading daylight. His eyes are closed against the marine breeze, flecks of moondust clinging to his lids, casting enchanting shadows over his cheeks. His shirt has been discarded, droplets sliding down his bare torso, as if he had bathed in a pool of starlight. A black leather cord rests against his tempting collarbones, a vibrant scarlet maple leaf charm dangling tantalizingly over his chest.
A dreamy sigh escapes your lips, mingling with the sounds of foamy waves lapping at the white sand.
Kazuha.
He was always nothing short of ethereal, but something about him in the dimming light of a late summer’s nightfall, felt inherently magical.
“I’m going to miss this, Kazuha.” You finally say, resting your chin on your boyfriend’s shoulder.
He gently leaves a kiss to your forehead, his hand finding yours over the towel you’re sitting on. Scars jut like jagged rocks against which waves break, in the same way lightning snuffed out a life dear to him all that time ago.
And yet, the smile on his lips is almost palpable when he says:
“We’ll be able to come back, my dove.” His thumb runs soothing circles over the back of your hand. “Before we realize, summer will greet us again.”
You chuckle. Kazuha had such a poetic way of approaching things; even when the sun went pitch black, he would forever remain a beacon of hope to you.
“I know, I know…” You clarify. “It’s just… I wish I had more free time to spend with you like this during the year…”
As much as autumn brought found memories and your beloved’s birthday, September always had a tendency to leave you yearning for the long days of summer.
Echoes of August replayed behind your eyelids every time you closed them, reminiscent of stolen instances held in the brief minutes in which the sky was dyed in shades of neither day or night.
Those eyes that held the suns of a million dawns focus on you. Starlight from constellations that will sleep soon seem to frame them, those long lashes fluttering in tune with your heart.
“I know, my angel…” Your lover utters, as he delicately tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’d like to stay with you like this, for all eternity…” His stare of gentle embers takes you in.
His muse, his perfect love, his forever.
The samurai’s free hand reaches to cup your cheek, his touch, a dove’s first flight in its tenderness.
Beneath the darkening skies, you were the brightest star. Every lash, every pore and freckle, the everglow that fueled his verses.
“But we’ll always have the weekends,” He reassures, those fingers that penned the most romantic eulogies tracing your jawline, the column of your neck, your exposed collarbones.
Dilated pupils stare at his lips, images of kisses coated in ice cream and cocktails flashing through your dazed mind.
“And every summer after that.” The poet adds, noses mere millimeters away now, separated only by salt air and dying sunlight’s rust.
“Every summer.” You repeat.
Then, the magnetic force of both your desire-ridden lips reigns over, his kiss, an intoxicating collision.
Your hands lock behind Kazuha’s neck, pulling him closer. The droplets of sea water on him feel cool, flecks of stardust tattooing your skin in every place your bodies touch.
The wandering samurai’s lips are an expanding sunrise, and you, the tsunami that desperately reaches for his light-tinted heavens.
One of his hands sets on the soft sand, keeping him upright, while his scarred one tenderly cups your cheek. Your lean against him is soothing, healing, clear August skies, birdsong written in between retreating clouds.
Behind the undulating horizon, gold dyes silver.
Constellations begin to waltz far above, the lovers by the sea, their directing lyrics.
It’s a symphony about a season that will never die, its score inscribed in indelible blue ink in the heat of yours and Kazuha’s fervent kisses.
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astrangetorpedo · 3 months ago
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It's Saturday night at Otherlands Coffee Shop. The space looks about the same as it has for the past decade of weekend concerts. A small group of people drinking lattes or craft brews sits around the eclectically shellacked tables while Julien Baker takes the makeshift stage with her baby blue electric Fender. Behind Baker, plate-glass windows are beading with rain. Brake lights from passing vehicles roll over the room, the glare catching the metal plating of her guitar…
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It has been a standard evening so far, as coffee-house singer-songwriter sessions go. A folk duo has played a few by-the-book ballads. People are talking quietly. But when Baker takes the mic - her guitar affixed to her tiny frame with a rainbow strap - the atmosphere of the place changes. It's hard to say what exactly does it. Baker is five feet tall and looks, by her own admission, to be about 12 years old, though she turned 20 in September. She wears an unremarkable blue jacket and gray t-shirt, a look she has described in interviews as "level-one RuneScape clothes." She's up there alone.
Baker begins her set with a single guitar note, held for a long moment before she begins, in a quiet and urgent alto "Do you think that there's a way this could ever get too far?" - covering the question with reverb before abandoning it. "I know I saw your hand," she continues, "when I went out and wrapped my car around the streetlamp." She pronounces streetlamp sweetly, drawing it out, the way you'd fixate on something you loved.
The lyric is a reference to the time, when Baker was 17, that she drove her car off the road, shattering the windshield enough so that she was unable to see as a 25-foot-tall light pole crashed towards her. The concrete post split Baker's car cleanly in two but somehow left her entirely untouched.
"Blacktop" - which will be the first track on her debut solo album, due out October 23rd - is a lonely song, maybe her loneliest, though it has some strong competition. When she asks, in the next verse, that some intervening divine, the same that saved her life, come visit me in the back of an ambulance," it is with the longing of something barely missed, rather than any certainty in her good fortune.
The feel at Otherlands, as Baker earnestly continues her set, gives definition to the phrase, "you could hear a pin drop." If people were not paying attention before, they are now. Previously unremarkable environmental details - the rain outside and the hush of the room - seem pulled into Baker, collapsed into her intimate, pining music.
If VH1 ever makes a Behind the Music: Julien Baker, it will play out something like this: A small girl with a big voice grows up in the far suburbs of Memphis. She works a night shift through high school, spends her free time hanging out at the skatepark; she smokes cigarettes, plays hymns at her small church, and figures out an electric guitar in her dad's living room. She forms a punk band with her friends. They call themselves "The Star Killers" and play all-ages shows in community centers and neighborhood pool houses. She gets a girlfriend, gets into drinking, gets some dumb tattoos. Starts touring when she isn't in school. Applies herself. Makes it to state college, where she records a lonely record. The record is really good. People hear the record, share the record, and she gets signed. What's next is history.
At least, it seems like that will be the case, if recent articles comparing Baker and her forthcoming solo album to Rilo Kiley or Natalie Prass and calling her music "equal parts agony and burgeoning wisdom" (NPR), "crushing" (Stereogum), "wise" (Vulture)," a study in contradiction, both fragile and steely at the same time"
Morgan Jon Fox, the Memphis filmmaker, describes hearing Baker's music for the first time this way: "This very gentle young woman stepped up and started playing these songs, and it was one of these moments in life that genuinely felt golden, when you see something that is so special, and so fragile, that is just on the precipice of taking off."
Fox went on to use selections from Baker's forthcoming album throughout his most recent project, a miniseries called Feral, and cites it as perhaps his foremost influence for the project. "I got obsessed with it," he says. "I listened to it while I was writing and in the car while I was finding locations. It's lyrically just very wise beyond her years."
It is easy to talk about the precocity of Baker's music, since she is young, but just talking about the precocity makes it seem as if Baker is a 5-year-old playing sonatas to an auditorium. The image doesn't convey how moving songs like "Blacktop" or "Go Home" ("The side of the road in a ditch when you find me," sings Baker, "... more whiskey than blood in my veins") are, and how Baker's particular talents are as much emotional as they are technical.
"I've never really encountered somebody who has the ability to resonate so broadly with their songs," says Sean Rhorer, whose label, 6131 Records, will release Baker's debut. "I posted about it on Facebook, and my mom responded to it," he laughs. "But then, dudes in punk bands who are associated with us are all about it as well. For me personally, it's like I've listened to a song of hers 200 times and on the 200th time I am just in my car weeping. She has that ability."
Pending release of "Sprained Ankle" in the next week, Baker is doing what she usually does: going to class at Middle Tennessee State University, where she is studying to be an English teacher. She started school as a recording engineering major, but quit the program after a professor told her that if he was going to teach the class one thing, it would be to "take their passion and monetize it.”
"I guess I just believe in the lyceum model of education," she told me when we met in Murfreesboro on a weekend in early September. "I think you should educate to build your intellect, not to make money?"
In the past few months, Baker has flown to Los Angeles to shoot a music video and to Richmond, Virginia, to record at Matthew E. White's Spacebomb Studios, the same studio that produced Natalie Prass' debut album. She's been on the radio, toured to New York, and played around 20 shows, both as Forrister and as Julien Baker. She's currently keeping it together by drinking copious amounts of what she calls "AA-meeting coffee", meaning the strong stuff (Baker is now sober by choice). When we met, I noticed that her hands were marked up with scribbled English assignments and Sharpied X's for being underage from the two gigs she'd played in Memphis that week, driving the four hours back to MTSU in the early hours of the morning.
A year and a half ago, if you'd asked Baker whether she'd be trying to balance a burgeoning career and travel schedule with her schoolwork, she would have looked at you like you were crazy. The songs that make up her album were recorded as a one-off, a side project while she was away from her band. She illustrated the album cover and released it for free on Bandcamp. She didn't think much of it. "Whatever happened with it, I was like, oh, cool," Baker says.
People quickly started to share the album, including a video version of her song, "Something" - shot in a Memphis parking garage by local filmmaker Breezy Lucia - but it wasn't until Rhorer and 6131 contacted her about a three-record deal that she realized what was happening. On her new label's advice, she took the record down from Bandcamp until it could be mastered and formally released.
A favorite mantra of Baker's comes from the high school days she spent around D.I.Y. house venue and record label, Smith7. "Let's all fail together," she repeated, as we drove around Murfreesboro. "At least we'll have each other."
The Smith7 shows were put on exclusively as benefits for charity; records produced without hope of material recompense. "We called it investing in people," says Brian Vernon, the founder and backbone of the lab which has produced locally-familiar bands like Wicker, The Holiday, and Nights Like These.
It was a scene that taught Baker to be wary of the music industry that can, as she phrases it, "put best things to meanest use." (A quote from Paradise Lost: "O little knows / Any, but God alone, to value right / The good before him, but perverts best things / to worst abuse, or to their meanest use.")
But Baker is quick to acknowledge how fortunate she is at the moment; how, not that long ago, even this starter level of success seemed a distant hope. "Being able to support yourself with your art - that's the dream, you know?" Baker mused. She sounds both hesitant and excited. "It sunk in for me when I was able to hand my roommate utility and rent [money]. I was like, 'Wow, that's real."
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At Otherlands, Baker introduces herself this way: "I'm Julien, and I don't mean to bum you out. That's just the kind of songs I write." She smiles and pushes back her messy blonde hair from her face, a tic. "You know, you sing about it, and you exorcise it."
A guess at why the 20-year-old's songs are so broadly resonant: They all take place at a familiar, perhaps universal moment of surrender. People connect with it. Her surrender is manifold - laid at the feet of the audience, an ex-girlfriend who left her in a parking lot ("I should have said something," sings Baker, "but I couldn't find something to say"), the friend who once picked her up as a teenager, drunk and lost, from the side of a highway, or an invisible God. She always starts slow, voice drawn out over echoey guitar. As the song builds, she allows for considerable tension, enough space left between verses that you think she might turn away or give up at any time.
But then there always is a moment, about halfway through, where it's as if she makes an unannounced decision that this one is all or nothing, and suddenly she is pure energy. When you see her perform, I swear there is a point when she opens her mouth - I mean really opens it - and she appears to grow three sizes. "Like one of those little styrofoam things you put in water and then they get huge," Morgan Jon Fox laughingly agrees. This shift is her simultaneous will-to-power and an invocation for the listeners to join her. She is no longer suffering alone.
The lyrical loneliness is variously romantic and existential, sometimes within the same breath. Baker, who says she "played the worship circuit" in high school, makes music about God, but is not a Christian musician, to the extent that Christian music is a well-defined and (in my heretical opinion) musically underwhelming genre. There are Christian music labels and Christian music festivals, and Baker is not a part of that scene, though she likes Underoath and Pedro the Lion and Manchester Orchestra - bands that have, more or less explicitly, copped to their love of Jesus. She was devastated when Mike Reynolds, the guitarist for Christian metalcore unit For Today, took to Twitter and declared, "There's no such thing as a gay Christian."
"Sometimes, I haven't played that song," she told me, referring to "Rejoice", a tour-de-force and one of the best tracks on the forthcoming album, "because I felt I needed to hide a part of myself in order to not be made fun of." "Rejoice" begins with Baker wandering around her neighborhood: "Jumping the fence, veins all black. Sleep on a bench in the parking lot." Her voice is low, almost gravelly. "Birthday," she intones. "Call the blue lights. Curse your name when I find I'm still awake." She continues, emphatic, underwhelmed: “choking on smoke, singing your praise" and, without much conviction, "but I think there's a God, and he hears either way. I rejoice. And complain. I never know what to say."
And then she backs up and basically shouts, as desperate as anything else: "I rejoice ... But then why did you let them leave and then make me stay?" Her voice would break if it weren't so strong.
The thing about it, the thing that gets me - despite the fact that I haven't lifted up anybody's holy name since I was in middle school and assigning sexier worship lyrics onto particularly handsome church camp counselors - is that, per Julien Baker, this shit is real as it gets. There is no pretense, no particular evangelism, just the barefaced results of a young woman who is searching. I don't think you have to believe in anything, or come from any specific background, to respect the search, even to feel it deeply.
If there's a mythos to suburban teens - especially punk kids from the suburbs, who, like Baker, grew up hanging out at indoor skateparks and smoking in big box parking lots - it is that they are bored. See: the Arcade Fire anthem "The Suburbs," the chorus to which rejoinders, "We were already bored. We were already, already bored." There's an attendant feel - a beautiful and washed-out-in-a-basement-romance-while-smoking-weed-in-the-summertime sort of thing.
Baker does not seem bored or washed-out. Like her music, she comes off notably uncynical and deeply interested in other people's music, in workers' justice (she uses her fluent Spanish to volunteer for an organization that assists immigrant laborers), in literature, in elementary education, in big questions.
"Why," she asked me offhandedly in the middle of a conversation about Faust, a leaf-eared copy of which she keeps in her room next to a hot-pink record player, "were German writers so interested in water suicide?"
For Baker, making her music and trying to fix bad things in the world are inseparable ideas, though there is no particular proselytizing in her lyrics or sound. It is more about the hows and wheres and whos of the process. She's a proud product of the Memphis grassroots, of the idea that you make things with your friends and do it for someone besides yourself.
And if she has a central fear about the recent attention her music has been getting, it is that she'll have to change the way she makes music, that she won't get to spend as much time writing with her band or crafting her own songs in basic anonymity.
"When you are in The Star Killers," she says, "you have the liberty to do whatever you want, musically. The biggest fear is getting what you want and having it not be what you really want."
But at Otherlands, surrounded by a crowd that the young musician has effortlessly transfixed, it's clear that any apprehension on Baker's part won't stop people from listening. Whatever she is putting out there, people who hear it are picking up on it.
As she finishes her set, Baker seems confident, ready, and, yes, somehow wise beyond her years. Most of all, it seems clear that she's doing precisely what she was born to do.
"When I have these great opportunities," she says, "I have to remember they are transient. But when it comes down to it, this is the only thing that makes sense to me."
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