#Vent post?

[reagi-df]

Nardito sketches

Some twins and some comfort

[krysmcscience]

I would like to state for the record that Narinder's veil is my new sworn enemy.

Nothing at all is prompting this. Certainly not six pages of comic that are taking entirely too long to ink, partially because of Narinder's stupid fucking veil that I hate and am now deep in a blood feud with.

Someone oughta blow all those stupid strings right into his rude little face. Hope they get in his eye and make him throw the damn thing away. Maybe set it on fire for good measure. Who knows.

true facts in all of my AUs the lamb does exactly that regardless of how serious or lighthearted the AU in question is. just blows those strings straight in nari's eyes every time to make him regret his questionable fashion choices.

Anyway here's a teeny tiny preview with no color or backgrounds lmao:

enjoy i guess and i will try to finish the comic within the next few days hopefully🙃

[blueberry--zombie]

literally me fr fr

I genuinely believe that if I didn't discover vocaloid and hatsune miku when I was younger, I would've just killed myself or turned out as a completely different person (in a bad way)

Vocaloid and miku is how I coped as a little girl with all the horrible shit that happened (and it still does)

And that's why Miku is my comfort character and why I'm totally normal and sane about her :333

[immortalratking]

sometimes I look at new diabetes advancements and how quickly they're coming and actually working good, it feels like we're close to a cure and, like an idiot, I have hope, maybe I could eat and drink whatever and not have to worry about anything. I don't remember a time before it but I've spent nearly my whole life daydreaming about what I would do after I was cured. I knew it wasn't going to happen but I hope i can survive until I can live. I'm about to cry from stress seeing a new pump that does basically everything for you

[sutekh94]

Hoooh boy do I have some thoughts about Cohost shutting down.

I've been working on this post for a few days, letting thoughts simmer enough to be presentable enough, so… here goes something!

Yeah, I'm sad about that. Not surprised that it happened, but still sad. Cohost had a good philosophy behind it, wanting to build a social media platform without much of the usual trappings, and I appreciate all the work its creators, Anti-Software Software Club, put in to make that philosophy real. And it was real, if only for a couple of years. I'm so glad my art found an audience there, even getting a few lovely comments. I feel bad for everyone who set up shop there who now has to scramble towards other platforms to host their stuff on. I can understand why some people decided they were finished with social media after the site announced they were gonna shut down at the end of 2024.

I really wish Cohost succeeded as a social media platform.

And I will miss it.

All that said… (here come the controversial takes)

I don't hold much sympathy for its staff and ASSC. It really felt like they had no business sense nor did they want to have any business sense. That showed especially in how unprofessional some of their financial updates - and lack thereof on occasion - were. Casually saying "oops I forgot to do the update for X month" despite further funding for the site hinging on regular posting of said updates, acting all "we're your friends!!!" at times, and so on. Then there were things like the eggbux debacle, ASSC thinking they were gonna turn Cohost into a Patreon competitor without having the knowledge or resources to do that, Stripe policies aside. I'm aware that was one of ASSC's original goals for the platform, but still. I gotta factor in some of the monumental moderation fails the platform's had, including the Nazi incident. Their policies regarding generative "AI" - seriously, not blanket banning generative "AI" was asking for trouble. Oh, and an aura of negativity and toxic positivity that pervaded the place partially because of that inadequate moderation, and partially because that's what Cohost's culture was like to an extent. Still, my Discord server has more moderators than Cohost ever had - three, myself included, compared to one. That's comparing a platform with about 130 users (I'd say 12-15 of them are active and posting on the server) as of the time I'm writing this against a platform with over 25,000 users at the time of the shutdown announcement.

This might seem harsh considering Cohost's staff were known users and public faces there. I don't know any of them personally. I don't wanna pretend like I do. But I also don't wanna pretend like ASSC could do no wrong and Cohost was some heavenly paradise. One of the most popular posts on the site in its final months, at least regarding the number of comments and responses to it, was "Cohost So White", a lengthy timeline detailing some of the most notable moderation fails and racist incidents that've occurred on the site over its history. Much of that negativity I mentioned earlier stemmed from how bigoted and racist chunks of the userbase could be - and the times that was left unchecked until staff was bullied into removing offending posts and banning the people behind them. Remember the Nazi incident I mentioned earlier?

In short, a Nazi made a Cohost account to stalk and harass a Jewish person there. The Jewish person tried reporting the account, posting evidence of the Nazi's behavior off-site, and Cohost staff… did nothing about it initially because "they've done nothing wrong on Cohost so far" or words to that effect, causing the Jewish person (among others) to almost leave Cohost. Staff was then bullied into banning the Nazi and afterwards said things like "we're bound to screw up on moderation decisions every now and again". There's more to the Nazi incident than that, but I don't want this post to be entirely about that. Still, I get it. Moderation is tricky. People make mistakes. But that was an egregious moderation failure that should never have happened.

Disregarding all that, Cohost had this feeling of a group of friends creating a social media platform for themselves, their friends, and friends of friends, but it never grew out of that hobbyist mindset. Cohost felt like a very anti-social place more often than not. Discoverability was always spotty. Tag shotgunning was common especially for artists like me wanting to have as much reach as possible. The only major attempt to make discoverability better IMO, tag synonyms, came in too late to be relevant. Needed and welcomed, but still. Same for certain changes to moderation policies - the "missing stair" policy and so on, even if I feared they could've been weaponized against fair and civil criticism of the platform.

This is a personal thing, but I never gelled with the site's culture. I was mainly there to post my art; the site being NSFW/18+ friendly was a huge reason why I joined, and to its credit, Cohost never lost that particular quality throughout its existence. I didn't interact with people much there, and venturing outside of my carefully-curated feeds, both main and bookmarked, could feel as draining as doomscrolling on Twitter. Almost like Twitter's negativity sort of migrated over to Cohost and became integrated into Cohost's culture. Again, I'm not saying the entire platform was like that, just that the negativity sometimes drowned out all the shitposts and CSS crimes and whatnot.

Don't get me wrong. Cohost shutting down is a loss for the Internet as a whole for reasons I explained up top. I'll always appreciate it for what it tried to do and all the good it managed to do over the time it existed. I don't wanna walk away feeling like I'm blindly bashing on it with a sledgehammer or, worse, celebrating its downfall with a bag of popcorn in hand. It's just… Things could've and should've been so much better. There were more than enough misgivings on ASSC's behalf that didn't help matters. That's really why I'm sad yet not surprised about Cohost shutting down. Cohost deserved better. Much better.

The reason why I've been so critical about Cohost is… I give a shit. It's clear I'm passionate enough about Cohost to say what I said here. I genuinely wanted things to be better there. If I truly didn't care, this post wouldn't exist, and it's possible I never would've given Cohost a chance in the first place. Regardless, the fact that so, so, SO many people are sad about it shutting down speaks volumes. I enjoyed my time there despite all its faults, but that doesn't mean I could act as if those faults didn't exist. My personal experiences with Cohost weren't everyone's personal experiences.

I'm aware that places like Pillowfort have some of the same problems Cohost had, namely an uncertain financial and long-term future. It's why Pillowfort and other small platforms need support now more than ever, and I'm glad to see that some of Cohost's userbase has migrated over to Pillowfort. Unless you're gonna bail on social media entirely after Cohost shuts down (again, I don't blame you for wanting to do that at this point), you're best off diversifying where you post, especially if you're an artist and/or a writer. If you can spare the money, you should send a few bucks towards these smaller platforms to help keep them afloat. At any moment, that smaller platform you've made a home on can just… shut down one day, planned or not.

[vieramars]

I took my asthma meds 6 hours late today and then my evening dose an hour late so for the next 5 hours they're overlapping and this will probably have no effect but my anxiety is going to beat me to death about it

[wasnott-br-inks]

I want comfort from them

[lonelylesbian2]

I remember when I was younger people would ALWAYS make fun of me when I talked about my family because of what I called them. My family is Indian (punjabi to be exact) so I was subject to LOADS of mockery anyway. But when we did family trees in primary school I got laughed at so badly and so many people told me I had the 'wrong' names because my maternal uncle wasn't called 'mama', that was what my mother was called. When I tried to explain that that's what I called them in my culture I got told I was wrong. 8 year old me thought that my family tree was supposed to be filled with my family. What they were called to me. 8 year old me got told I was wrong. My teachers gave me sheets to fill out with 'uncle' and 'aunt' and 'grandma'. I grew up like that and when I was 10 years old we went to go and visit my mums family in Delhi. I called my mothers mum grandma. Now, when I visit I'm older, now I call my mother sister 'mausi', I call people who aren't related to me closely but are still very close 'mausi'. Because that's my culture. I am an only child but I have people I call 'didi', I have people who call me 'didi'. My older relatives call me 'beta'. I am not their daughter, but that is our culture. Now, I don't let anyone tell me what I can and can't call my family. Because they are mine. Now when people ask who's visiting, i tell them my 'chacha'.

I hate that I ever let anyone tell me my culture was wrong, that I had to leave my blood and roots behind in favour of what other people knew. But I was young and that was the reality of it. Everyday, my heart goes out to the little 8 year old girl sitting at the dining table, wishing she could change the colour of her skin and the blood in her veins.

[a-soft-housecat]

I wanna wear some gear out tonight but I don't want to be seen as weird by the people I'll be hanging out with :( I wish I was as brave as I was when I was a kid! I went out with gear all the time and never thought twice about it! I went to school almost every day with a tail on! I was so unabashedly myself and I wish I could be like that again The spirit I had as a kid was broken and I don't know how to stitch it back together

[autumnteawithfriends]

I have the opinion that those ASMR/meditator voices suck ass and sound annoying as fuck. Like, they don’t sound calming to me at all, they sound like a wasp next to my ear. My biggest issues is that they sound extremely fake to me

[eri-pl]

Oh yes, my 3 main fandoms:

I intensely hate everyone's (including the author) most beloved character;

I relate a lot to the character that's supposed to be Satan; and

with how the setting is defined the antagonists are literally right ... Which wouldn't probably be a problem if I didn't end up playing a campaign during the pandemic, and that went as well as you might expect and now I lost the ability to enjoy the thing

[brokendarkfairyempressforever]

I'm sorry for being sad

I'm sorry for being angry

I'm sorry for being anxious

I'm sorry for being depressing

I'm sorry for being confused

I'm sorry for having depression

I'm sorry for having PTSD and C-PTSD

I'm sorry for having anxiety

I'm sorry for having bpd

I'm sorry for not understanding social cues

I'm sorry for the lack of emotions

I'm sorry for forgetting myself

I'm sorry for not knowing myself

I'm sorry for having trouble focusing

I'm sorry having random interests that I randomly remember and sometimes spout but most of the time I forget I can speak and just keep it in my head

I'm sorry for feeling guilty for everything

I'm sorry that I'm spiraling

I'm sorry that I can't make it better

I'm sorry that I can't take away the pain

I'm sorry for forgetting but remembering stuff that doesn't matter

I'm sorry for feeling worthless

I'm sorry that my mind is trying to find order a figure out this puzzle even though everything is in chaos and my brain is overheating

I'm sorry for feeling like I'm gonna pass out

I'm sorry for my back hurting

I'm sorry for my mind breaking over the fact x means e because my brain is broken and stupid

I'm sorry for the constant headaches

I'm sorry for being really bad at math

I'm sorry for not understanding the first or few times

I'm sorry it's hard to understand me when I talk and my behavior

I'm sorry for turning things in late

I'm sorry for being too scared to do anything

I'm sorry for not being sane enough

I'm sorry for not being able to mask anymore

I'm sorry for not being a robot anymore

I'm sorry for combusting

I'm sorry for being empty

I'm sorry for being mentally unstable

I'm sorry for asking for help

I'm sorry for not asking for help

I'm sorry if I seem clingy

I'm sorry for zoning out all the time

I'm sorry if I seem I don't care enough

I'm sorry for being bad at conveying emotions

I'm sorry for having no filter

I'm sorry for having trouble controlling my emotions

I'm sorry if I seem dead

I'm sorry for having trouble with connecting with people

I'm sorry for being bad at socializing

I'm sorry for taking everyone's stress even though I don't have to and should focus on myself no matter how hard it is

I'm sorry for stressing over everything

I'm sorry for overthinking everything

I'm sorry for having trust issues

I'm sorry for talking too much

I'm sorry for not talking enough

I'm sorry for not fitting into any societies standards

I'm sorry for still not being enough

I'm sorry for being a bother

I'm sorry for being a burden

I'm sorry for stressing you out

I'm sorry for not being okay

I'm sorry for breaking

I'm sorry for everything

[marylily-my-beloved]

i wish i could just erase my mind

[violet-prism-creatively]

things to do when you're having relationship issues (may or may not be healthy coping mechannisms):

lay on the floor

run until you're struggling to breathe

google "codependency"

listen to the song "codependency" by orla gartland on repeat

sit outside on a sandbar in the middle of a stream

cry

reassure them that everything is fine

[thebekashow]

It do be like that sometimes.