#Vega. I can't say that I hate you because that would be a lie. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trippinsorrows · 3 months

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with me + part fourteen

authors note: this one is loaded, and there are some hints/tidbits spread throughout, but also.....please don't hate me. 😭

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, suggestive themes, angst

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

faceclaims

words: 12k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @southerngirl41 @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

Bianca: Hi. I know you asked for space, and I will respect that. I just want you to know I talked to dad. I made him be honest with me, and I know the truth now. I completely understand if your decision is that you want nothing to do with me. But please know, I had no idea, and I would love the chance to be in your life. I am not our father.

Bianca: It may have started with him, but it can end with us.

Rereading the text for what must be the 18th time, you feel just as conflicted and confused as you were when you first received it a few days prior. It’s been a bit easy to ignore it, to let it sit unanswered as you focused on getting as much work done as you could before leaving for Vegas.

Thankfully, as the game is on a Sunday, you, Callie, and Alexis got an early morning flight to Vegas where you were met by Joe at the airport. After Callie had her sweet meltdown at seeing Joe again, the three of ya’ll met up with the twins, Trin, Kaylah, Jon’s wife, and the rest of the kids at the hotel.

You were a little nervous about Callie meeting her other cousins, as you know kids don’t always get along right away. But all anxiety is melted away the minute Callie and Jon’s daughter, Ellie, bonded over a common love of Disney. It’s a wrap from there, so much so that Callie feels comfortable enough to be left with them while you and Joe leave to get your tattoos.

Your current location.

“Let's play a game.”

Joe’s suggestion is greatly appreciated because it pulls you away from hyper-fixating on this text and just what to do with said text. However, it’s also questioned because what the hell kind of games do people play at ya’ll’s big ages?

“Joe, we are too damn old for games—but what is it?”

He laughs at your quick change of tune. He must know that inner competitiveness never really goes away, even if you haven’t been in that competition space in literal years. “I'm gonna show you a house, and all you have to say is either you like it or not. But, you can't ask any questions.”

“A house? Like an actual house?”

“Yes, baby. An actual house.”

His sarcastic tone doesn’t help. Asshole. “And I can’t ask you any questions about a literal house we’re thinking of buying?”

“Yup.”

Pouting, you murmur, “This game sucks.”

“Okay, Callie.” He messes around on his phone, giving a couple touches before he hands you his phone.

You nearly drop the damn thing, mouth ajar in awe. “Joe, how much—”

“No questions, remember?”

Sucking your teeth, you continue to scroll, each photo evoking another level of wonder. The house is stunning and huge. A literal mansion with landscape and design that looks like it was ripped right out of a luxury HGTV special. Swiping through the photos, each allow you to see that the beauty is not only matched but in many ways exceeded on the inside. A massive kitchen with two ovens, spacious bedrooms, almost equally large bathrooms, movie theater room, a separate building in the humongous backyard that you could easily see Joe turning into a personal gym, and so much more.

You really focus on the outside photos, eyes softening. “She's always wanted a backyard….” It's so easy for you to imagine Callie running around freely, swinging on a swing, maybe even helping you tend to a garden you see more than enough room to plant.

You can see yourself in this house.

“I like it,” you finally answer. There's no need to lie to him, and you're pretty sure he could tell you love it based on your facial expressions alone. “Now can you tell me how much—”

“Nope.”

Sitting up, you shove on his shoulder. “Come on, that's not fair.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Leati.” You can't remember the last time you called this man by his first name. Years, most likely. You used it sparingly, far and few in between, mostly reserved for moments like this when he was pissing you off.

“You can complain all you want. I'm not telling you shit.” That only irks you more, and he’s indifferent to your obvious irritation, which pisses you off even more. If anything, he sounds almost amused at your frustration. “I'm gonna ask the realtor to arrange a tour. You can ask her then.”

Suspicious, you accuse, “your ass will probably tell her not to tell me or to lie.”

“Maybe.”

It’s the fact that you know that’s something he would do too. “So my name wouldn’t be on the house? Is that what you’re saying?”

At that, he looks your way, clearly confused but mostly offended. “Of course, it would. Your name will be on everything. I just can’t give you too much information now because you’ll push back and say it’s too much.”

“So, it is expensive,” you conclude. He sighs, heavily. “Joe, we don’t need anything too extravagant or over the top. You know I’m not materialistic like that. I don’t want you feeling like you have to—”

“How many times do we have to have this conversation?” There’s a hint of irritation in his tone, but it’s not entirely unwarranted. Joe has told and showed you multiple times that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you and Callie. It’s just you being…..well, you. “Anything I do for you, anything I do for Callie is because I want to. You should know by now that I’m a man who won’t do anything he doesn’t want to.”

Sitting on his words, you answer, “I know.” And you do, you’re just so damn slow in actually accepting this. “I’m sorry, I just—I’m stubborn. You know this.”

“Yeah, well get un-stubborn.” His hand on your thigh gives a teasing squeeze but before you can inquire about just what kind of alone time you two will have over this weekend, a man walks out, heavily tatted, dressed in semi traditional Samoan attire and wearing a friendly smile.

Joe stands up to greet the man, introducing him as Mike. It’s a name you’re familiar with as you recall eons ago when Joe would rave about his tattoo artist and the man’s insane talent.

“This is my girlfriend, Y/N.” It’s both strange and welcomed hearing Joe introduce you as such, like it’s almost too good to be true, even if there’s not an ounce of reluctance in his voice.

“Nice to meet you,” you greet, accepting his handshake. “And for getting us in on short notice.”

He waves it off. “Joe’s always welcomed here anytime and as his girlfriend, so are you.”

It stands out to you just how many people speak so highly of Joe. You've always thought he was a genuinely nice guy, but hearing it co-signed by others definitely shows what a gem you’ve got. “Great design choice, by the way,” he compliments, directing his next question toward you. “Joe mentioned you were a bit nervous about the placement….”

“I think I’m good now,” you answer. Tattoo pain is temporary, but placement is forever. You especially don’t want to “settle” for something that has so much meaning. “Same placement as his, but he can go first.”

Mike laughs, clapping his hands together. “Sounds great. Let’s get started.”

________

You’d completely forgotten how extremely frustrating it is to get ready to go clubbing, and understandably so given at your big age, that’s not really a thing. However, Alexis absolutely refused to accept your decline to go out with her and even convinced Trinity and Kaylah to tag along.

The bitch even took it upon herself to bring an outfit for you, knowing you definitely didn’t pack for this kind of outing.

And while the dress is definitely fire, it’s a pain to get on given the cutouts and need to clasp the chest part. Not to mention, your arm is still a bit sore from the tattoo. Granted, Callie’s excitement at seeing how both you and Joe got her name tatted on you was more than worth all the pain.

This dress though….it’s not worth shit.

“Fuck.” This was so much easier two bra sizes ago, but between trying to hold them together and clasp the hook on the dress, you’re just about ready to call it a night before the night can even truly begin. Settling frustration aside, you grab the robe off the counter and slide it on as you stick your head out the door. “Babe?”

His deep voice replies seconds later. “Yeah?”

“Can you come help me with something real quick?”

“Mommy,” Callie groans, and you can only imagine the scowl on her face. She loves spending time with her daddy. “We’re playing.”

Your lips curve into a smile, assuring her, “it’ll only take a second, baby.”

Joe walks into the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. “What’s up?”

“I need you to clasp my dress for me,” you explain, removing the robe and holding your breast with your forearm. “I’m gonna hold them up, and I just need you to—what?”

His eyes slowly travel up and down your body, but his overall gaze reeks of confusion and a level of disapproval. “Where’s the rest of it?”

You’re not stupid, very much aware of what he’s asking. But, you’re also stubborn, a fact he’s well aware of given the fact that you talked about just that this morning. “The rest of what?”

His answer is simple. “Your outfit.”

Muscle twitching in your jaw, you attempt to divert the conversation. “Come on, everyone else is almost ready—“

“I’m serious.”

Huffing, you slap on that sweet, teacher voice and bring your hands to his chest, allowing your breast to fall open and freely. It doesn’t miss you how his gaze moves downward and lingers. “Joe, I love you, but you met me post-college. Trust me, this is tame compared to what I used to wear clubbing. And we both know I’m gonna wear what I want, regardless, so I just need you to swallow that annoying ass male pride, which I know you will, because you love me enough to do so, and just strap my titties down for me, okay?” Leaning up to kiss his cheek, your finger moves in a figure eight down his body. “Besides, when I get back tonight, you get to rip this same dress off me, bend me over this very same counter right next to us, and make me watch as you fuck me, hard, from behind.”

Your sex drive has always been on the higher end, but it’s been even more intense in the past couple days, and while your last few intimate encounters with Joe have been more loving and sweet…..that’s not what you need right now.

You need this man to fuck you in the way only he can. Choking, spanking, biting, a tad bit of degrading, hips bruised from how tight he holds you with backshots that have you speaking in a different language. The whole nine yards.

Your words paint such a vivid picture that’s clearly too far out for his comfort as his hands move to your ass, squeezing roughly. “And what’s stopping me from doing just that right now?”

God has a cruel sense of humor because before you can even fix your mouth to respond, the very reason why makes her presence known. She knocks on the door with all the irritation in her little body. “Daddy, are you almost done?”

Eyes twinkling with mischief as you step back to hold your breast together, you remind him. “that is why not. You’re on daddy duty tonight.” Joe doesn’t say anything and instead finally hooks it for you. “Thank you.”

“At least pull it down in the back or something,” he grumbles and actually tries to pull down the back of the dress.

“Baby, I have an ass. It’s gon’ shift right back up as soon as I move.” Sure enough, one step is all it takes for it to roll up just a few centimeters below your ass. Unlocking and opening the door, you beam at Callie. “He’s all yours, baby girl.”

“You look so pretty, mommy!”

“Thank you, baby.” You lean down for a kiss on her cheek right as Alexis walks in. Callie goes to lead Joe back into the “living room” area as Alexis welcomes herself into the hotel room. You’re not even gonna bother asking how she got a key. Her dress, unlike your all black little piece, is sparkly, short, and strapless. It’s very much Alexis.

She gasps. “Girl, that dress is fitting and your boobs are sitting.”

Winking and lifting your breasts, you laugh, complementing, “you look amazing.”

“Duh. I’m me.” She brushes her shoulders before peeping past you to say hi to Joe and Callie. “Hi, future brother-in-law and part time child.”

All you can hear is Callie asking Joe what a part time child is as Alexis grabs you by your wrist and starts dragging you toward the door. “Come on, Trin wants us to do a TikTok before we leave.”

Instantly, you’re scowling. “A TikTok? Girl, we are too old for that.”

“I swear, you act like you’re 75 sometimes,” she dismisses, walking you out the room and across the hall to the other room where Jimmy and Trin are staying. You’re still impressed how they all managed to get rooms not only on the same floor but literally all across each other.

Must be a rich people thing.

Walking into the room, you see Trin and Kaylah are dressed a bit more modestly then you and Alexis, not as much skin showing but still very much giving club vibes.

Compliments are again exchanged among the four of you, but Kaylah is the first to say, “girl, I’m surprised Joe didn’t have nothing to say about your outfit.”

Chuckling, you inform, “he tried, but he knows I don’t play that. I’m a grown woman. Imma wear what I want. Besides, I know how to shut him up.”

What’s implied doesn’t need to be explained but not according to Alexis who of course blurts out, “that’s right. Sitting on your man’s face will do it every time.”

“Please excuse her. She ran out of her Lithium.”

“Ehh, they tried that. Didn’t work for me.” It’s the fact that she’s probably dead serious too. “Okay, now which trend are we doing, Trin?”

Trinity's smile, like everything else about her, is bright and beautiful. “I was thinking the Wanna Be one by Meg and Glo.”

Instantly, you know Alexis is sold. “That is my damn song.” She then points to you. “This one needs to go last though, because when I tell you that thing moves like water. This bitch can twerk like Megan.”

One thing you’ve never been is a liar, so you can’t find it in you to call bullshit on Alexis exclamation. You’ve always been super flexible, courtesy of cheer, and twerking has always come a bit natural to you. But, it was really when you started hitting up the strip clubs in college and made acquaintances with the strippers that you learned all of the tricks.

However, it’s also been years since you last stepped out on the town, and your joints start to hurt from just sitting too long, so the hype may be a little bit undeserved after all.

“That was also before I had a baby, Lex.”

Alexis brushes off your downplay. “She can even do the hand thing. You know, where you put your hand in between your ass cheeks while you still shaking? Iconic.”

Studying her closely, you realize why she’s so amped already. “You pre-gramed, didn’t you?”

She presses her lips together and then goes into denial. “I plead the fifth.” Laughing, she tugs on your arm. “Come onnnn.”

“Fine.” Caving to Alexis is typically the best outcome because the bitch is relentless when she wants something, especially when she’s already tipsy.

However, Trinity seems just as excited as she directs the three of you to the bathroom where she already has the phone propped up and everything.

It ends up being a fun time that reminds you so much of those days back in college where you and Lex and a few other girlfriends would spend a damn near hour taking the “perfect” photos for the “gram” and even longer to come up with a witty caption. You even show off a little bit of your twerking skills, nothing too crazy, much to Alexis chagrin.

Arriving at the club and being escorted to the VIP section, courtesy of Alexis, the ladies order a round of drinks while you settle for a simple bottle, never glass, of water. After your whole fiasco during Christmas, you can’t see yourself sipping even a glass of wine for a while.

It’s a nice blast from the past but also suddenly a bit irritating with how noisy and boisterous everything is. The club is packed, and you’re grateful to be seated up and away from everyone else. While Alexis starts to get her buzz going, Trin partially surprises you by asking for your approval to upload one of the videos to TikTok and a photo to post on Instagram. It’s only partially surprising, because Trin has always been a real one.

You agree and even helping her with a caption.

Something bout’ that melanin ✨

Pulling out your own phone to check in on Joe and Callie, you’re surprised to see you have a bunch of IG notifications. This leads to you realizing that Alexis, at some point, posted a couple of photos she made you take on your profile. She even took it upon herself to come up with a caption that makes you both chuckle and shake your head.

ya favorite athlete’s favorite athlete 😌

It’s not a huge deal to you, as you’d went ahead and made your Instagram private again a couple months prior. It’s a feature you toggle on and off, knowing that only the people you want knowing and seeing your page would even know how to find you. However, with Joe being back in your life and having a few posts with Callie’s face in them, you lean on the side of caution and just plan to keep it private from here on out.

It’s the comments though that really make you pause.

@user1 omg y/n!!! That body been giving, sis!

@user2 HA! Always was that girl. Still that girl. Miss you, cuz!

@Mariaaahhhh___92: This really how you wanna do this?

@BigLexPurr: Say it louder for the BITCH in the comments before me. I mean, in the back. 😃

@user3: If only I looked like that after having my baby lmao You look amazing, Y/N!

@RomanReigns Damn straight.

With all the swiftness and quickness, you block Mariah, not needing or wanting her and Alexis to get into a whole spat under your post. But Joe’s comment is definitely one that takes you for surprise, and you wrestle with whether or not you should acknowledge it but eventually decide to do so with a simple reply.

@yourusername @RomanReigns 😘

You make a mental note to roast his ass for being in your IG comments like that but put your phone away when WAP comes on. Of course, it’s only appropriate that the four of you rap along to every iconic, spiritual lyric spit by Meg and Cardi. Alexis even influences you into doing a little twerk on her that she absolutely captures on Snapchat.

You don’t even need to ask her to know she’s gonna waste no time in sending that over to Joe. How she managed to get him to accept her add on Snapchat is something you’ll never understand.

“I need some more drink, but I don’t want to get up,” Alexis whines, shooting you the puppy dog eyes.

“Gee, why don’t I—”

“Thank you, friend!”

Shaking your head, you make your way out of the VIP and through the crowd to the bar. Placing the order, you wait patiently, praying that what you know is bound to happen doesn’t happen. A waste of a prayer, because that unwanted happening appears in the form of a crooked smile, bad haircut, and height that can’t exceed 5’9.

He just leans back against the bar, as if waiting for you to, of all things, acknowledge him. That makes you laugh aloud. The fucking irony.

You decide to take the lead and dead this thing before he can run whatever play he thinks will work on you. “No, I don't want or need you to pay for my drink, and I don't need anything put on your tab. I'm good.”

His smile doesn't deter. If anything, he looks even more intrigued. This was always the part you hated about clubbing. Men who can’t seem to conceive that you “playing hard to get” is actually and really just complete and utter disinterest.

“Oh, you more than good, ma.” His gaze resting on your chest much longer than what's appropriate is both irritating but expected. Men see titties and lose all sense of self-control, the little that some actually do possess, that is. “I'm just trying to see how good.”

You were over this conversation before it even started, hence your readiness to put an end to his fruitless hopes and your irritation.

“My man is 6’3, 287lbs and fights niggas for a living.” Tone both bored and casual as you list off basic facts, you ask, “He's home right now watching our 6 kids. Still wanna do this?”

It's the way his eyes go wide that makes it hard for you not to laugh. That should definitely do the trick. “Naw, I'm good. You fine, but you ain't that damn fine.”

“That's what I thought.” Taking the Martini from the bartender, you saunter your way back over to your section and hand it to Alexis.

“I take it homeboy was trying to take you home.”

Chuckling, you nod. “But, I handled it.”

“Oh, I'm sure you did.” She then turns to the group. “This one was always vicious when turning down bums at the club.”

“Cause sir, why are you talking to me with your uneven fade and height that starts with a 5?”

Trinity and Kay fall out laughing, but you’re dead serious. You’d been called arrogant a couple of times, but it never really affected you because you know you just have standards and refuse to settle.

And clearly…..it worked out.

“I really wish we could do this more often,” Kay suddenly shares, and it takes you a bit by surprise. There was a level of trepidation regarding meeting Josh’s wife. You know they’ve been together since they were in high school, which means there’s a good chance she knows Joe’s ex-wife. A chance they could be friends.

And if she’s anything unlike Mariah, she wouldn’t want to chop it up with the woman who slept with and had a whole baby for her friend’s husband. But so far, Kay has been nothing but kind, a bit on the quiet and reserved side. It’s an interesting dynamic considering Josh is anything but.

“Do you live in Florida too?” Alexis suddenly asks, sipping her Martini. When Kay nods, Lex slaps you on the arm. “Well, this one will be moving there probably before the end of summer, so maybe ya’ll can link up more often.”

Intrigue paints both Trin and Kay’s faces, as the former asks, “seriously?”

“Yeah, umm, Joe and I were actually looking at a house earlier.” A thin layer of excitement re-emerges as you reflect on the photos you saw. You really do like that house, but it feels so much like a dream, like the expensive houses you look at and critique on Zillow knowing damn well you can’t afford them.

And you can’t, but he probably can.

You know he can, or he wouldn’t be showing you in the first place.

“How do you really feel about moving?” Trin questions. “You still live in your hometown, right?”

“I do.” It’s a valid question, one you, if you’re being honest, sometimes go back and forth on. You know you want to move and ultimately will, but there are still some moments where you feel a bit unsure. It’s to be given, you’re sure, as change can be difficult. “There’s a lot of things I’ll miss, like being away from my mom, but….I want to be with Joe, and it’s what’s best for Callie.”

“She really is a sweet child. You did an amazing job with her.”

Kay’s compliment warms your heart. “Thank you….that means a lot to me.” Callie is your pride and joy, so to hear others speak highly of her, of how you raised her thus far will always be the best kind of compliment.

“You’re a teacher, so you’re off for the summer, right?” Trinity suddenly asks. Nodding, she continues, “you and Callie should go on the road with Joe this summer then. Maybe not the whole summer, but a portion. It’ll be fun. I’d love to have ya’ll, and you know he would too.”

It’s a suggestion that you find yourself actually considering. Outside of PD, which can be done virtually with some prior arrangements, there really would be nothing stopping you from tagging along. Callie would be ecstatic, and something tells you Joe would too.

Kay then shoots Trinity a look that you can’t quite decipher. “isn’t he….”

As if awareness dawns, Trinity mutters, “oh, shit, I forgot.”

Understandably curious, and always uncomfortable with being kept out of the communication loop, you inquire, “what?”

Trinity looks a bit nervous but then answers casually, “Oh nothing, I just forgot they’ve, uhh, gotten a little strict now about family coming on the road. Something about it being too distracting for the wrestlers.”

Alexis seems as skeptical as you are. There’s something they’re not saying. “Isn’t he literally like the face of the whole company? I feel like if he wants them there, then they’ll be there.” She has a fair point. “Look how he takes time off to come fly and see them.”

That actually brings on a question you’ve been wondering about for a while. Directed to Trinity, you ask, “do you know if he gets in trouble for that?” Trinity looks a bit unsure of how to respond, and you know immediately it’s because she’s trying to figure out how much to say. “The truth, please. I can handle it.”

With a heavy sigh, she relents, “Jon mentioned Joe said something about them talking with him, but I get the sense Joe told them to fuck off. Professionally, of course.”

You’re not sure how to feel about this. The last thing you want is for Joe to risk all of his hard work for you. And you know it’s more for Callie than anything, which you get, but he still has contractual obligations he needs to fulfill.

“I can tell you this…..they can say what they want, but Joe doesn’t play about you and Callie, so he gon keep hopping on flights as much as he needs to.”

“He was really happy when he found out about Callie,” Kay adds in a soft tone with a kind voice. “I remember overhearing him talking with Josh, and he told him, “she’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Crying in the club definitely wasn’t on your agenda for this trip, but here you are, trying to blot your eyes with the back of your hand. “Ya’ll, I didn’t wear waterproof mascara. Don’t have me out here looking like a racoon scaring folks off.”

Alexis chimes, “Joe won’t mind. It’ll keep him from coming up in here beating some poor soul’s ass for trying to holler at you.”

Kaylah snorts. “She’s not too far off. All them fools are super protective and territorial.”

“I’m just trying to figure out when ya’ll are gonna stop being selfish and slide one of them my way. It’s obvious they fertile as hell, so there’s gotta be an eligible cousin or uncle or something.”

It’s the fact you know that Lex is dead serious. Thankfully, Travis Porter comes on and that’s enough to bring all of ya’ll back to your feet like you’re 21 all over again. And that’s the dominant and recurring theme of the entire night: dancing, laughing, talking, Alexis being unhinged.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

The four of you end up returning to the hotel shortly before midnight, the perfect time as somehow, the guys got all of the kids down for bed and were just waiting to make sure you all returned safely.

Sitting around one of the hotel rooms, you all just chop it up, sharing various stories, no one really tired enough to call it a night.

“See, that’s the thing that people don’t realize. Ain’t a whole lot of difference between Joe and Roman. Uce been had that dog in him.” Jon starts off, sitting up as he explains. Somehow the topic landed on when they were growing up and how Joe’s always had “parts” of Roman in him. “Like one time when we was kids, we was playing a basketball game and he showed up late talking about “aye, let me join.” We tell him, ‘sorry man, we already started.’ He takes the ball, chucks it over in the neighbor's yard, talking about “ain’t nobody playing now.”

There’s a chorus of laughter, but your jaw drops open as you look at Joe, an easy task as you’re perched on his lap. “Did you really do that?” It’s almost inconceivable to see this man do something like that, especially as a child. “Joe, that was mean as hell.”

It’s the fact that he doesn’t deny it and simply shrugs. “Should have let me join in.”

Covering your mouth and shaking your head, you go to scold him for being such an ass, regardless of how long ago it was. But, Alexis soon adds in her two cents, looking your way. “I don’t know why you looking shocked and disappointed, you weren’t much better when we were in college.” She then directs her attention to the group. “So, we were cheerleaders, and Abby Lee Miller over here was a total nightmare during competition season.”

Gasping, you sit up, Joe’s big arm locked around your waist to keep you on him. “I was not.”

She rolls her eyes and takes a drink before admitting, “girl, I love you, but you were a bitch when you were in competition mode.” This is the first time you’re hearing this, so of course, it takes you by surprise. You won’t deny that you could be a bit…..intense during the season, but as captain, there was a shit ton of responsibility on your shoulders. Someone had to take the lead. “There’s a reason we had a whole group chat without you called, ‘Deliver us from Y/N’.”

“You had what?” This is news to you. As far as you were concerned, you had a great relationship with your teammates. It’s why your head coach let you take charge so much, especially in your junior and senior years. “Because I was doing my job?”

Alexis continues, ignoring your questions which is both annoying and predictable. She loves to tell a good story. “She’s the reason I’m hoping and praying Usher doesn’t perform More. It was the song for our Nationals routine, and when I tell you she was on us like goddamn slaves. That routine was hard as fuck, and she ain’t care one bit. It was hella good, like she choreographed the shit out of it, but it was so technical and draining. Bitches in the corner vomiting during practice, and she like ‘get a bucket and keep it pushing.’”

All eyes land on you, waiting for a response, but it’s hard to retort the truth, so you settle on justification. “Okay, that was their fault. I told ya’ll not to eat an hour before.”

Alexis claps her hands as everyone else around laughs. “I rest my case.”

“No wonder ya’ll go together so well,” Josh mutters, taking a drink of his beer. Kaylah slaps his arm but doesn’t say anything in disagreement.

“What I’m hearing is it’s gon be a two night A&E special. First night? Surviving Joe. Second night? Surviving Y/N.”

Jon’s delivery is really what sells it. You can’t even hold back your laughter. Leaning back into Joe’s chest, you lift up both hands to flip them off. “Ya’ll not gon’ keep talking about my man.” Partially joking, partially serious, it’s not missed upon you how Joe’s deep chuckle in your ear is followed by his fingers innocently moving against the outside of your thigh.

“You and your man was clearly out here terrorizing people,” Trinity laughs with a shake of her head. “That’s so crazy too, because you don’t give off that energy, Y/N.”

“I’ve calmed down a lot since I had my daughter.” And it’s the truth. Along with age and an extreme respect for your field along with your professional reputation. “But yeah, college Y/N…..she was something else. A little bit of high school as well, but mostly college.”

Alexis makes a sound and then blurts out, “tell em’ about the time you bust that stripper in the head with a bottle, and she had to get 75 stitches.”

Understandably so, there’s a round of shocked expressions and questions following Alexis so casually dropping one of the wildest experiences you had in college.

You hear Jon ask something about if you have a criminal record, but it’s really Joe giving you that ‘you gon explain?’ look that makes you cave.

“Oh lord, I can’t believe I’m about to tell this story.” You turn to Joe, warning. “You’re not allowed to hold it against me either.”

“Let me hear it first, and I’ll let you know after.” You know he’s joking, but still, you hit him on his arm. He’s supposed to hold you down, no matter what. Aggravated assault and all.

“Okay, so were at the strip club—”

Jon can’t help himself, asking, “damn, you got down like that?”

He has no idea.

“You gotta remember, we were cheerleaders, so we spent a lot of time with the football and basketball teams. And they asses was always there, so we would tag along cause why not? I always had a good time. The food was good as hell too. Anyway, I was dating a football player at the time—”

Alexis slaps Joe on the arm. “She’s always had a type.”

“Yeah, ‘ain’t shit’, clearly.” You grab Joe’s jaw, clarifying. “Except for you, baby.” He mutters his approval, and you continue, “so, I was dating this dude, and he was cheating on me, which was fine. I wasn’t really into him anyway. But, turns out the girl he was cheating with was one of the strippers there and a classmate. I don’t know how the stupid bitch didn’t realize who I was before that night, but whatever. I guess she caught feelings for him or something and saw me as the problem? Mind you, I was dating him before he even started fucking her, but she called herself trying to step to me. And she was talking shit, which I didn’t necessarily care about because one thing I’ve never and will never do is fight over a man. Any fight I ever got into was because they said something about my mama or someone else I love.”

“How many fights you done—” Trinity elbows Jon who grunts and then mutters for you to keep going.

Chuckling, you do so, “so she calls me a bitch….okay, but then calls my mom a bitch, and at that point, I’m seeing red. Cause now my food is cold, I was about to get a lap dance that’s not gon’ happen cause now I gotta beat her ass, and all over some wack ass dick. But now she done bought my mama into it….absolutely not.” A beat. “I didn’t hit her first, because I never hit first, but I did say some slick shit that I knew would provoke her.” You decide to leave out exactly what you said given how graphic it was. “And she hit me, but then this other bitch joins in—”

“And that’s when I get involved,” Alexis chimes, raising her drink high and proud. “Because what you not gon do is jump my motherfucking best friend in front of me.”

Laughing, you continue, “so Alexis crazy ass is beating her friend, I’m on this girl, but then she calls herself trying to stab me with the heel of her shoe or something cause obviously I’m winning—”

“This some WorldStarHipHip shit if I ain’t ever heard—” Trinity hits Jon for his interruption and motions for you to continue going, clearly and deeply invested in the retelling of this wild ass night.

“I’m mixing on this bitch, cause one thing about me, I know how to fight. I just choose not to do it.” And it’s true. Fighting is a last resort, always has been for you, but make no mistake, you know how to throw down. “Anyway, I snatch the shoe out of her hand, grab this bottle of Hennesy I see near me and smash it over her head.”

“And it was lights out.” Alexis says dramatically. “That bitch was laid out like a crime scene. Patrick Star headass.”

Wiping the tears from your eyes from your laughter, you continue, “so someone calls the cops. They show up, and I’m starting to get nervous thinking she’s gonna press charges, because I bust her head open. She had to get stitches and everything. But I had made friends with the owner of the club—-that’s a whole other story—and basically, he refused to provide her with any video footage, made sure no one said anything about what happened, was friends with the cops, and they just chalked it up to a bunch of drunk girls being stupid. And I got off.” Clapping your hand to signify the end, you rest back against Joe. “The end.”

There’s a slightly understandable moment of silence before Kaylah calmly asks, “How drunk were you?”

That’s an easy answer. “Oh, I wasn’t drunk.”

“So….you did all that sober?” Trinity asks, like she needs to just make sure she’s following correctly.

“Yup.” You pop the ‘p’ and look over at Joe who’s all of the emotions, primarily, amused, surprised, and strangely turned on. “Wild times.”

Jon is the first to speak after that. “Man, I always knew I liked you, Y/N. Your ass a little crazy, but I fucks with it.”

Laughing, you explain. “You gotta keep in mind, I was like 19 at the time. I was young and definitely dumb in a lot of ways. I’ll be 32 this year and have grown a lot. I have zero desire to put my hands on anyone. I have a child and a career. I may be tempted, but I’m not going to actually do it. I have too much to lose”

“And that’s why she has me.” Alexis lifts her drink. “I don’t have much to lose cause I’m rich enough to get off. Plus, she’s all boring now. You see how early we’re back. Back in the day, we’d club hop until like 4 in the morning. At least up until Junior year,” she gestures to you with her outstretched thumb. “That’s when this heifer had to get all studious on me.”

“4.0, Summa Cum Laude.” You make a little pose and laugh. “I just got my shit together, and clearly….” you lean back to look at Joe. “ —it paid off.”

—----------

Obviously, you’ve never attended a professional football game, let alone the fucking Super Bowl, but even knowing that, you’re partially surprised by just how many damn people are there. It’s absolutely jam packed, and you’re suddenly grateful for the security detail that escorts the group of you to your seating area.

Joe holds Callie and keeps your hand in his which impacts you in a strange way that you can’t explain. This whole trip has been him being unabashedly open about you and Callie, and you’re starting to think that’s the part that’s still a bit difficult.

For three years, you felt like some secret he kept hidden and stored away, so to be so “displayed” so publicly is such a stark contrast you’re still trying to sit with. It’s not a bad adjustment, just an adjustment nonetheless.

The section rented for the group is surprisingly spacious enough for everyone, and you and Kaylah immediately go delegating, having the kids all in the back rows with the men front and center to see the game they’ve been praying for all year. You knew Joe was a huge 49ers fan, hence your not being entirely surprised when you found a box at your apartment door with a bunch of 49ers apparel for you and Callie to pick from for the game. He also, in true Joe fashion, sent you both sneakers with the 49ers team colors of black, red, and gold.

And one look at Callie as she interacts with her cousins, you can’t deny how adorable she looks, especially as they’re also sporting the apparel because of course his whole family are also fans. Granted, you can’t deny how adorable she looks all decked out like her daddy. You took a more subtle approach, agreeing to the letterman jacket and sneakers, combining them with the 49ers long sleeved crop top and stretch black pants.

There’s a lot of getting everyone settled and you warning Alexis not to make a damn fool of herself, which apparently she’s also dead set on. Something about needing to be ready to be either a consolation or celebration prize for whatever player she was going home with tonight.

When the game starts though, it’s absolutely fascinating watching how intently focused the men are, not wanting to miss a single second. You’re suddenly really grateful you’d briefly spoke with Callie about how this game was very important to Joe, so his attention may not be on her as much as she wants but that’s okay because he’s just a little busy. She responded well, and you can see how helpful it is for her to be around not only other kids but her cousins.

The ease of their connection and ability to play together is something you’re so grateful for, so happy to see. It definitely makes you even more excited about moving, about her being closer to family.

That thought reminds you to ask Joe when he wants to talk to Callie about that, about moving. It feels like something the two of you should do together.

Ironically, you’ve never really been a huge football person, so your interest in the game and who wins is pretty slim to none. You’re there for a good time and, most importantly, Usher’s performance. Kaylah seems to be on a similar wavelength, so while the rest are deeply invested in arguably the most important game of the year, you two engage in casual dialogue.

She gives you some much appreciated tips on the area, specifically regarding school systems and other resources for Callie. She mentions a dance school her daughter also attends classes at, and that immediately catches your attention cause Callie has given some indications she wants to do ballet. And while you have your reservations, it’s mostly been because of financial reasons.

Not that daddy warbucks over there won’t handle that for you.

There’s also a lot of photos and videos that get taken to commemorate this moment. Most of which are headed by life of the party, Alexis. You’re grateful though, happy to have her here. She even catches your attention when Callie maneuvers her way over to Joe, tugging on his pants leg for him to pick her up. You start to bring her back by you, but you end up watching Joe pull her up, kissing her cheek as he patiently tries to explain the game to her.

It brings a warm smile on your face, and you use your phone to snap a photo of them. It’s from behind, but the lighting, the way Joe is pointing and Callie following his line of vision, there’s something about it so wholesome and moving.

You set it as your lock screen.

By the time halftime rolls around, the men are all in great moods given their team is so far dominating. However, you and the rest of the ladies present are in a great mood for entirely different reasons.

The minute you hear the opening chords of Caught Up, you’re in a completely different world, similar to the happy space of attending concerts in your teens and college days. Alexis is definitely your number one hype woman, but really, Trin and Kaylah are just as lit. The guys are definitely enjoying the show as well, but Usher has been that man for you, so he’s your only focus.

It only gets exponentially better, and the minute he starts to perform Yeah joined by both Lil John and Ludacris, you and Alexis are shouting out every single damn word of Luda’s iconic verse.

It’s definitely a moment you’ll absolutely never forget.

Unfortunately, the halftime show seems to be a bit of a climax as the third quarter progresses, and the tide seems to start turning in favor of the Chiefs. Similarly, it’s not missed upon you how the younger kids seem to be slowing down. Callie is definitely ready for bed and understandably so. It’s been a long day and is way past her bedtime. After a brief discussion with Joe and Josh, it’s decided that you and Kaylah will take the younger kids back to the hotel, especially since you both have very little interest in how the game plays out but respect the guys needing to stay.

And Alexis wild ass most definitely stays behind for….obvious reasons.

Joe, of course, doesn’t let you and Callie leave without a hug, kiss, and telling you both he loves you. A tradition of sorts now, definitely one you’ll never get tired of.

Security escorts the smaller group of you to your vehicles, and by the time you’ve reached the hotel, the younger kids are tapped out. You manage to get Callie out of her clothes, into her jammies, and bonnet on her head before she passes out in her bed.

Kaylah has a similar experience with her kids, the two of you plopping down on the sofa together.

“I hope they pull the win. I don’t know if you’ve ever been around Joe when the 49ers lose, but he’s not pleasant. None of them are.”

“I get it,” you chuckle. “I’d be pissed if I paid all that money to see my team lose too.”

“At least we had our good time seeing Usher’s fine ass.”

Laughing, you slap hands with her. “I know that’s right!”

As the laughter dies down, Kaylah gives you an earnest smile. “I hope I’m not being too forward, but I really am glad you came on this trip. I’ve heard both the twins and especially Joe speak so highly of you, and they definitely weren’t wrong. More importantly, I think you’re really good for Joe. I haven’t seen him as happy as he is with you and Callie since we were in high school, really.”

“Can I be honest with you about something?” Her kind words make you feel comfortable enough to be forthcoming with her. “I was a bit nervous you wouldn’t like me.”

Her eyes widen. “Me? Why?”

“I guess…..I worried you would feel a sense of loyalty to Joe’s ex-wife, and given how we got together…..

She nods. “I can understand that, but…if I’m being honest with you, I’ve probably had more meaningful interactions with you in these two days than I did in all of the time they were together. Don’t get me wrong, Jadah was super nice and chill, but she never really interacted with us like that. She mostly kept to herself.”

“What was the deal with their marriage?” It feels a bit off asking her, but given she’s known them for so long, she of all people would be the person to ask. “I know….I know he told me they only got married because she was pregnant and that….that she miscarried.”

It’s when you say that she gives you a strange look. “Y/N…..they didn’t have a miscarriage.” Before the shock fully wears off and you can ask her what happened then, she explains in an understandably sad tone. “It was….it was a stillbirth. She was 8 months pregnant.”

Your stomach…drops. That….that’s not what you expected to leave her mouth. Not at all.

Thinking back to that brief conversation with Joe, he never really specified what happened. Just made sure you knew Callie didn’t have a sibling. You’d just assumed a miscarriage is what happened.

But a stillbirth….your brain can’t even begin to comprehend the heartbreak they must have experienced. To be in a headspace that you’re welcoming your first child for the better part of a year only to have it so cruelly ripped away in such a horrific manner….it’s devastating.

“I didn’t….”

“He didn’t tell you?” You shake your head, and she offers a sad smile. “I’m not surprised. Joe seems very open with you and obviously trusts you a lot, but that….I know that messed him up real bad.”

Just like finding out he’d missed out on almost five years of Callie’s life. You’re starting to understand more and more why he came at you so hard initially, it was more than warranted but most likely pulling from his prior trauma as well.

Kaylah continues, explaining gently, “I don’t know…I don’t know if it’s a good idea to push him too much on discussing it, YN. He’s never even really talked about it to the twins, and they tell each other everything. I’m sure he’s never fully processed it. Then again, I don’t know how you can ever process something like that.”

Hearing this has suddenly entirely soured your mood, and you have no ill feelings toward Kaylah. Just the opposite. You’re grateful she felt comfortable enough to be honest with you. You just wish the truth didn’t have you with this dull ache in your chest.

—----------

The 49ers loss hits you harder for reasons completely different than actual fans. It makes you sad for Joe, a sentiment you were already struggling with, to be honest.

Anticipating he’ll be looking for some sort of distraction, especially with Callie knocked out for the night, you try to get your shower finished before he makes it back to the hotel. It’s a wasted effort, because not only does he make it back before then, but he scares the hell out of you when his hulking frame joins you from behind under the steaming hot water.

But before a single word can leave your mouth, his lips are on you, and you know instantly that he plans to take his emotions out on you in the only way that’s most appropriate.

Fucking.

Joe fucks you against the shower wall, on the bathroom counter, in the exact way you promised him the night before but couldn’t follow through on because you were tired. He’s rough, rougher than you’ve had him in a while, and while it’s exactly what you wanted, it also saddens you that you know he’s disappointed.

It’s just a game, yes, but there’s something about a loss at this level that makes it hit deeper. It also doesn’t help that you were already feeling a tremendous amount of empathy toward him after finding out about his loss.

Body completely used and thoroughly fucked, the end of your sexscapade finds you both, naked and worn out. Your body is draped upon his as his finger moves around lazily across your back.

It’s a comfortable silence when he asks, “was I too rough with you?”

Lifting your head, you give him the strangest look. How long has it been since ya’ll really fucked? He’s clearly forgotten how you get down. “Did you seriously just ask me that? This is me, Joe..” Laying your head back on his chest, you remind him of your only rules in the bedroom. “Unless I’m bleeding or passed out, never too rough.”

Laughing, he flicks your arm as you kiss his shoulder. Changing gears a bit, his expression softens. “Thank you for coming, for bringing her.”

“You never have to thank me for that.” You remind, because it’s the truth. You’d escort Callie to Siberia if that’s where he was. “But we do need to figure out when we’re gonna talk to her about moving.”

He seems to also remember this is a thing, asking, “how do you think she’ll feel?”

You have to take a second to think about his question. It’s something you’ve definitely considered. Callie has only known your town. That’s her home. What would it be like to uproot her? You finally settle on the best, honest answer you can muster. “I think she’ll be a little sad to leave her preschool friends, definitely my mom but what she wants more than anything is to be a family, so she’ll be happy.”

“Does she know we’re together?”

“I—I don’t know actually.” It’s not really something you’ve thought about until this very moment, just kinda assumed that it was a given. “Well, shit, maybe we should tell her that too.”

He chuckles. “I’m sure she’s probably put two and two together.”

“Probably so.” Callie is definitely one smart cookie, and it wouldn’t be too far fetched to assume she’s realized you and Joe are dating. “Oh, and going back to moving, it’s Florida. Disney is in Florida. That’ll definitely be a selling point for her.”

Joe’s hand moves up and down your side, soothingly. “We’re going the week of her birthday, by the way.”

Peeking up at him, you double check what’s really obvious but also still so surreal. “To Disney?”

“Yeah.”

“They let you off for a whole week?” That’s a stunner, for certain. “Coming off a Wrestlemania win? Damn, just how heavy is your pull now?”

“What?” He seems confused by your question, like he doesn’t understand what you’re saying. And that’s puzzling to you because there’s nothing confusing about what you’re asking. You know enough about WWE to know how this works. He’s gonna retain at WrestleMania and be subsequently thrust deep in promos and segments. “Oh yeah….I’ve got it handled.”

Waiting for more is a waste of time with this man. He can be so coy sometimes. “You’re not gonna tell me anything more, are you?”

“Nope.”

“Ass.” His elusive behavior is becoming both familiar and given but still annoying nonetheless. Regardless, you take your turn, switching topics a bit. “Have I told you how proud of you I am? Cause I am. So so proud of you, Joe. I always knew you could do it.” You lift up, biting down on your bottom lip as you push some of his hair back. “You’re gonna hold the record for most main events at Wrestlemania. Beating Hulk’s record. Thee fucking Hulk Hogan. And once you whoop Ken doll’s ass, you’re gonna have the third longest title reign in WWE history. Do you know how amazing that is?”

His hand is on your hip, making soft circles. “It’s not everything….”

Scoffing, you dismiss his dismissal. That is quite literally everything he ever told you he wanted. “The hell it isn’t. I remember every conversation we ever had about this, Leati. Your worries. Your hopes. Your dreams. This is what you’ve always wanted and worked your whole life for.” He’d always been so open and vulnerable about where he ultimately wanted his career to go, the burning desire he had to make it happen, and to see him do just that means the world to you. It should mean the world to him.

But there’s something off about his tone, and you can’t quite make out if it’s because he’s still reeling from the loss or something else. It almost feels like everything you’re saying is going in one ear and out the other because it no longer means that much to him. You know that can’t be the case. Not with how long he’s been grinding and working his ass off.

His tone and expression are both appreciative as he shares, “I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much your support meant to me. You always knew the right thing to say.”

You lean down to kiss him, nice and slow. “I’m just really good at that shit.” Biting down on your bottom lip, you slowly start to snake your hand down his chest. “I’m really good at a lot of shit actually.” Whatever is bothering him, you know one way to help.

A really really good way.

Chuckling, his jaw clenches when you try to wrap your hand around him, fingers unable to connect from his width. He’s already hard for you. “You lock the door?”

You’ve never been so grateful for hotel rooms with bedroom doors that lock.

“Of course.” There’s no time wasted in moving so that you’re on top of him, reaching to align him just right so you can sink down on your favorite pastime.

“My turn….”

—----------

Someone knocking on your door, loudly, at 11am, just hours after you land back in town wasn’t on your agenda for the day.

You, Callie, and Alexis caught an early morning flight that was difficult for everyone giving how crazy busy the weekend was, but especially for Callie who was already sad at having to say bye to her dad again and was still tired from lack of adequate sleep.

You’re especially happy you chose to take today off and keep Callie home from preschool. You definitely need time to recover.

But life has a way of lifing. You’re immediately annoyed, looking beside you to see that Alexis is also stirring in her sleep, mumbling something about ‘fuck off.’ Sighing loudly, you stare at the ceiling, almost ready to leave whoever it is outside. But then they knock again, and you know this isn’t someone you can avoid.

Even if you’re very tempted. Reaching for a robe, you pull it on and tie it around your wait, sliding your slippers on to make your way to the front door. Not even bothering to look through the peephole, you rip it open, ready to curse someone out when you see who it is.

Alyssa’s striking blue eyes are the first thing you noticed followed by the shine of the police badge attached to Officer Austin’s uniform.

Why the hell is a police officer and one of the town’s social worker at your door?

“Hi….” You have to clear your voice, sleep weighing it down with coarse grit. “Is…is everything alright?” Panic briefly sets in. “Is it one of my students?”

This is the part of being a teacher that guts you, when a child is being harmed or at risk of being harmed and you have to make a call that does both a lot of good and a lot of bad. Alyssa has been the social worker you’ve worked with the most, but this is definitely the first time she’s come to your house about a case.

“Y/N…..” Her expression is grim, and you realize quickly that whatever it is is not good. Not good at all. “We received a report against you.”

“A report?” Your hand is gripping the door so tightly, you’re certain splinters are going to embed themselves into the pads of your fingers. But it’s a much better feeling than what’s starting to grow in the pit of your stomach. “What—what kind of report?”

There’s hesitation, and you understand why when she clarifies. “An immediate danger report.”

“No.” Your stomach drops. “Alyssa, you can’t—-you can’t be serious.”

Your head is absolutely spinning. This…this can’t be right. A social worker and police officer cannot be standing at your door saying that someone called DCFS on you and made a report that not only is Callie in danger, but she’s in immediate danger.

You’ve had the unfortunate experience of being the one to make reports, working plenty with Alyssa and the local police to navigate these cases. And it’s in that experience you’ve learned the definition of an immediate danger report and what it requires.

The immediate removal of a child from the accused home and custody.

They want to take Callie from you.

Officer Austin speaks in an equally sympathetic tone. “Trust me, Y/N. I’ve known you since you were a little girl, and this makes me sick to my stomach. I hate it. I know it’s all lies and a waste of time and resources, but you know the law. We have to—“

However, you’re focused on Alyssa as you know the police are only brought along in case the situation becomes hostile. You have no desire to get physical with law enforcement, but you will get down on your hands and knees if that’s what it takes to keep your baby with you. “Please don’t do this. Alyssa, you know me—“

“I do, and that’s why I arranged where she’ll be released to your mom for custody and I got a hearing scheduled with the judge for you on Wednesday. It’ll only be three days—” If it wasn’t for the pending mental breakdown, you’d be more appreciative. You’d much rather Callie be sent to stay with your mom instead of put in emergency foster care.

You’re not sure if you’d be able to live with that.

“Oh my god…..” You feel like you’re going to pass out, suddenly aware of Alexis' presence as she too asks more questions about what’s going on and who made this report. She’s, understandably, pissed. But, her last question is a no brainer.

There’s only one person you know who would have a motive to do something like this.

“Three days without speaking or seeing my child! You know how attached she is to me, Alyssa!” It’s also in your experience with these types of situations that you know zero communication is allowed between the child and parent being accused until the emergency court hearing takes place.

Three days without being able to speak to Callie….pain like this should never be allowed to be experienced. It’s a nightmare turned into reality.

She truly looks remorseful, and you know she finds this just as ridiculous as you. “My hands are tied Y/N.”

Voice low, you finally ask, “what are the accusations?” If an answer was given to Alexis, you didn’t hear it, and regardless. You need to ask for yourself.

“Y/N.”

You repeat, no room for argument or refusal in your tone. “What…are the accusations, Alyssa?”

She swallows, answering in a low tone. “Child endangerment. Specifically….you’ve been accused of leaving Callie unintended to meet men for sex, and the accusation that made it immediate danger….is that you plan to prostitute Callie.”

It takes everything in you not to projectile vomit right on the spot, as you move your hand to your stomach, bent over. There aren’t enough words to describe your disgust and revulsion.

Alyssa starts to provide more basic information regarding getting Callie back, but it's a waste of time.

You know this. You’re more than well aware of how this process works. Just never in a million years did you think you’d be involved in one of your own.

Absolutely defeated and crushed, you ask, “let me talk to her first, please.”

“Of course.”

Alexis stays behind to follow up with additional questions that you’re partially paying attention to, but the majority of your focus is on staying upright. You could throw up and pass out on cue at this very moment. That’s how overwhelmed you feel, but the second your shaking hand opens Callie’s door, it’s an even bigger battle.

She’s still sleeping.

Your sweet, innocent child is still sleeping, probably trying to recover from all the festivities from this weekend. And you have to wake her up. You have to wake her up to undoubtedly break her heart.

“Oh God…..” Hand on your stomach, you take three, big, deep breaths to settle your nervous system. Callie can’t see how much of a wreck you are. That’s only going to make it worse.

Sitting on the side of her bed, you clench and unclench your hands to minimize the shaking before gently pushing on her shoulder. “Calista, baby, I need you to get up.” It takes a couple of times, as you knew it would because you know your child like the back of your hand. The child who you would never do anything to endanger or any of the other egregious accusations made against you resulting in this nightmare.

Eyes blinking open, you chuckle at the pout on her face.

“I’m sleepy, mommy….”

“I know, baby.” You clear your throat, playing off the way emotion catches you, almost exposing the seriousness of this moment. “But…mommy needs you to get up. You….you’ve gotta go by grandma, okay?”

She looks at you, still with that pout and very much still partially sleep. “Can we go later?”

“No, baby. I—” This is inarguably one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do. “I can’t go with you.”

And this is when you see her pout deepen. “Why?”

“Callie….” Hand on her face, you try to ignore the sound of your heart shattering. “You’re not gonna see mommy or be able to talk to me for a couple days, baby.”

And you knew, you knew before even opening your mouth that her eyes would begin to water that telling her this harsh but necessary truth would cause the reaction you’re starting to see. Her face is reddening, mouth dropped into a permanent frown.

It tears you apart to do this to her. “Baby, please don’t cry. It’s only for three days and—and you’ll have grandma, and—and auntie Alexis will visit you, and I’ll make sure daddy talks to you as often as he can—”

“But what about you? You’re my mommy.” She rubs at her eyes, crying harder. “Why are you leaving me?”

Pulling her into your chest, you swear to her, “listen to me, Callie, I will never ever leave you. Okay? The…the people who make sure little kids like you are safe and taken care of just want to make sure I’m a good mommy to you, o-okay?”

“But you’re the best mommy,” she cries into you, and a sob leaves your throat at that. Callie’s heartfelt tears, the fear and confusion in her little voice. It rips your heart to shreds. You hold her as long as you can before helping her get dressed and

gather a little backpack with a few items.

You know she already has mostly everything she’ll need at your mom’s already.

Everything except you.

Alyssa allows you to hold her as you walk down to the police car, but it’s when Officer Austin opens the door and Callie begins to cry, asking him, “please don’t take me from my mommy!” that you break again.

It’s impossible to keep your composure with your four-year-old child begging not to be taken from you. Pulling it together, you kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear, reminding her that you love her, and that you’ll see her again before she knows it. It’s the best you can do, it’s the only thing you can do.

Setting her down on the ground, you crouch in front of her, placing both hands on her cheeks. “Ms. Alyssa and this nice officer are gonna bring you to grandma right now, okay? I promise I’m gonna get you as soon as I can, baby, and no one will ever take you away from me again, okay?”

She doesn’t say anything, face still full of heartbreak. She hugs you again, holding on tight. “I love you, mommy.”

Voice cracking, you whisper, “I love you too, baby.”

Eventually finding the strength, you break away and stand up to see Alyssa wiping a tear from her eyes. She then forces a sad smile and takes Callie’s hand, leading her into the back of the police car. Even being buckled in, you see Callie continuing to look back at you, sadness morphing with helplessness.

And that’s the last view you’ll have of your daughter, looking hopeless and confused as to why this is happening.

But you know exactly why this is happening.

And you know exactly what you need to do.

“Y/N…..”

Alexis watery eyes are a brief view you have before dashing up the stairs and throwing open your apartment door. Shaking hands manage to grab you car keys off the kitchen island as you head back for the front door only to find that you can’t march out because Alexis is standing in front of the door.

“Move out my way, Alexis.”

“Y/N. You’re upset. Okay—”

Snapping, you shout at her. “Move! Now!”

She doesn’t hesitate to match your energy. “Not until you fucking calm down!”

Snapping, you scream. “She just got my child taken away from me, Alexis! Don’t tell me to calm down! I’m gonna smash her fucking face in!”

Never…..never in a million years did you think Mariah could be capable of something like this. That she could be evil as to call DCFS on you, make up lies so horrific that it sickens you to even think about them, and have your child ripped away from you. Damn what this has done to you. What about Callie? Was she even thinking about how traumatic this would be for Callie?

She’ll be thinking about it when you stomp her head into the fucking pavement.

“Hey! You have every right to be upset, okay? But, this is probably what she wants! She knows they’re not gonna find anything on you, but you go over there and beat her ass, it puts the spotlight on you and then gives them a basis to question your fitness.” Alexis is such a sound voice of reason right now, but it’s hard to heed when your literal heart has just been ripped from your fucking body. “You need to focus on doing what you need to do to get Callie back, okay? Call Joe—”

Joe.

You hadn’t….you hadn’t even thought about him. How can you explain this to him? Explain to him that your child, the child he just found out about not even six months ago is now technically in custody of DCFS because of your friend. Is that even forgivable? Beyond that, how crushing is that going to be for him?

Eyes watering, you shake your head, volume a few octaves lowered. You feel like you’re about to have a panic attack. “No, I can’t—-I can’t tell him.”

Alexis steps to you, placing her hands on your face, centering you. “Yes, you can, and you will. He needs to know, and you need support right now. I’m here for you, of course, but that’s the man you love. You need him.” Her expression then darkens. “And don’t you worry about Mariah. I got that hoe. Believe that. You don’t have to put a hand on her. Imma do it for you.”

Alexis words do both everything and nothing for you. Granted, you’re not sure if anything will be substantial enough short of having your child returned to your custody or all of this being some sick joke.

You’re not even sure when Alexis walks away to grab your phone until she’s reaching it to you. “Call him, sweetie. I promise you he’s not going to blame you. He’s going to be upset for the same reasons you are: because this is all bullshit. But please, Y/N, just….call this man.”

Finally taking the phone, she nods with a small smile. She then goes to remove her earrings and pull back her hair. “I’m gonna go curb stump this hoe.”

Alexis goes to the back, and you just stare at your phone. You once thought calling Joe to tell him about Callie’s existence would be one of the hardest phone calls you would ever have to make.

God, you were so wrong.

Trembling fingers tap on the phone to bring up his contact, and with tears streaming down your face, you hit call.

Whether for better or worse, he doesn’t answer, forcing you to leave a voicemail message.

“Hey.” It’s a fruitless and meritless effort to keep your voice strong when you feel anything but. “I–I need you to call me as soon as you get a chance….please.” Hitting end, both you and the phone drop on the floor. On your knees, you finally release the sob you’d been holding in for the past twenty minutes. Moments later, Alexis is besides you, comforting you.

Not that it does any good.

There is no good left.

Only pain.

#roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns x black!reader #roman reigns fic #roman reigns #arisnotebook

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kookiecrumb · 2 years

Text

JJK || Scandalous

pairing: husband!jungkook x wife!reader

summary: After coming home from his Vegas shows, Jungkook defends his fidelity in a bold way.

tags: smut (18+), idol!jungkook, semi-angry sex that turns mushy, lil rough, oral (m&f receiving), bigdick!jk, manhandling, horny grinding, penetration

warnings: cheating accusations, strong language warning, unsafe sex* (please use protection)

a/n: I was high while I wrote half of this. Here.

"I know what you were doing in Vegas. Don't you try to lie to me or throw me off because I have evidence," you shout at him.

Jungkook is laying across your couch, infuriatingly unbothered.

"Evidence of me with another woman. Sure. Like I'd leave the love of my life for a random girl I've never seen before," Jungkook shakes his head, amused.

"Oh, so you're laughing now?!" You mock his smile. "You're laughing, having the time of your life because you cheated in Vegas and you think you're gonna get away with it."

"Yeah. I do. Because that's not some random girl in that picture-- that's our translator!" Jungkook screams. "It's our fucking translator and she was helping me buy a drink. I was looking out for the rest of the guys."

"Hm!"

"I don't believe you," you mutter, zooming into the picture that was circulating through stan Twitter just minutes ago.

News articles have already gotten to work spreading their rumors and dating scandals and it pissed you off beyond anything.

"Of course you don't," he grumbles, crossing his arms. "You know what? Why don't you call Namjoon, then? He was there. Ask anyone. I'm not a fucking cheater, y/n."

At this point, Jungkook was getting heated and you were afraid that if you doubted him one more time he would snap at you.

It's early in the morning, so calling Namjoon wasn't an option. He's probably asleep.

There's no use in fighting, so you need to find a way to redirect this energy into something a little more palettable for the both of you.

"Prove it then," you challenge.

"Prove what?"

"Prove that you wouldn't ever fuck another woman. Fuck me like you hate me."

Jungkook's fists unravel and his face relaxes. His eyes intensify and his demeanor changes completely. He's aroused.

"That's right. You get a boner every time I yell at you. You just want to shut me up with your dick, don't you? I'll believe you if you can dick me down by force," you speak.

"I'm not gonna dick you down by force while we're fighting," Jungkook crosses his arms.

"Aww...I respect your decision. I just thought you might have wanted a chance to prove me wrong, Kookie..." you pout, climbing into his lap.

His strong hands grip your hips immediately and he holds you that way as he tries to maintain his pride.

"Besides..."

You lean closer to his ear, rasping softly, and say: "it's not like she could ever do it like me."

"God damn it, y/n. You can't do that. You can't be a fucking brat and piss me off so that you get it rough," he protests, his ears turning red.

You swirl your fingers up his chest and smirk a little. "Yeah right...I can do whatever I want..."

Jungkook bites his lip, a surge of anger overcoming him as he struggles to keep his composure. "That's now how you get things."

You hum, ruffling your fingers through his black hair softly. "Hm. Show me, then..." you play.

He takes deep breaths, his chest inflating beneath your hands on his clothed chest as he spreads his palms on your ass and kneads you stupidly rough. "You're impossible."

"I know..."

Jungkook collapses his lips into yours gently. The kiss is smooth and delicate, reminiscent of an apology for making you even think he'd be the kind of person to hurt you.

From then on, a cocktail of pain and pleasure clouds your vision and you fall under the spell of sweet desire.

"Fuck, fuck--" you gasp as his mouth migrates to the lower half of your body, his strong hands framing your thighs. He dives between your hips and pins them down.

With stunted breath above your cunt, Jungkook gazes up with his dazzled eyes and takes you into his mouth.

You pry open your legs and he throws you back down and presses his tongue inside you. Hungry, he adjusts his posture.

You look over his back, textured by hard-earned muscle, and slightly glowing. "Mmh--" you whimper. God, you're helpless for how jacked he is.

Fuck, you melt for him.

"Just like that, wifey," he encourages you, snaking up your body and gathering you in his arms. He takes your hands and places them above his hips, dragging them downwards.

Jungkook connects his mouth to your neck and kisses you.

You know how to touch him the way he needs, so you wrap your hand around him, scarcely closing it, and stroke him languidly.

He lets out a breathy groan, riding your fist with ease. "Hh-- aaahh,"

Jungkook is cocky about the size of his dick. He's overtly aware of the fact that it's impressive. Because of that, he'll say things like:

"Yeah, slut, take my fat cock," Jungkook pants out. He closes his eyes as you climb over him and pop his cock in your mouth.

Jungkook breaks into a smile, relaxing his shoulders into the pillows beneath him. He sinks into the bed, focusing on the feeling of your hot mouth on his cock.

You lap at his most sensitive spots, spreading your tongue on his shaft and kissing the tip generously.

Beneath his breath, Jungkook begs. "fuck, yes, yes, yeah, mm, yeah, yes~"

His ringed fingers are holding the sheets beneath him, his exposed body in full display for you. This is a view only one woman has the right to.

With a breath through your nose and a little bit of courage, you take him in your throat and swallow around him.

His legs twitch as he rips out a groan, followed by a slew of beautiful curses. "Babe-- ,, ohh-- babe--" he whines.

One last kiss to his pretty pink tip and your thighs are over his, rubbing your swollen cunt against his dick.

He captures you in a sweet kiss, ridden with pleasurable noise and skipped breaths. Jungkook stretched his hands around your breasts and holds them, squeezing them with each rocking thrust.

Hastily, he grabs a hold of your legs. Then, he guides his cock to penetrate you. You help him eagerly, lifting above him only to lower yourself down his entire juicy length.

"Fuck-- holy fuck, Jungkook--" you moan.

Jungkook hides his smile within a kiss and completes a shallow thrust inside you.

"This is my favorite thing, you know. Pussy. Your pussy, in particular," he runs his hands down the curve of your back. "Sexy motherfucker."

He snaps his hips up into you, his hands comfortably resting above your ass.

Above him, your hands hold his jaw. You rest against him, infatuated with his delicate features. His cock rests above your cervix now, pushing your bladder just slightly.

You watch his Adam's apple bob, his heartrate climb as he tightens his grip on you. There's nothing more beautiful.

Your hands are on his chest now, and he's pulling you deeper as your hips roll into his cock. He pumps upwards, his lips collapsing into yours as your bodies collide.

In a daze, a wave of tension overcomes your body. He chases it, his big hands pressing into your skin with each powerful thrust. Your scent swallows him.

His thoughts flood as his thrusts slow, pushing further, accompanying a broken groan. He cums hard, and you cream around him.

permatag gang gang: @silversparkles11 , @lvoekook @sammy-steve-btsarmyakasammy , @kooliv , @koobsessed , @angelwonie , @hoseokgrecns , @bangsterz , @swyseren, @sxtaep , @koostarcandy , @hgema , @jjkeverlast , @nglmrk , @devilsbooksworld , @saweetspoiled , @exactlyfuriouscoffee and @unicornbabylover

:) I'll be back guys.

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leclerc-s · 8 months

Text

karma is the guy on the track

series masterlist

fernando alonso the last time we did max almost ended up in american prison.

max jones-verstappen well that guy should've kept his hands to himself.

zoya torres wait, what happened last time?

isabella perez oh, max punched some dickhead who didn't know what no was. oscar piastri what she forgot to mention was that the guy tried groping her and then penelope. zoya torres yeah, i would've punched him too.

sebastian vettel no inchidents this time please

charles leclerc seb, let it go!

lewis hamilton someone's getting arrested this time

logan sargeant probably max or daniel.

daniel jones-ricciardo i would argue against that but i, too, would throw hands to protect one of the girls. max jones-verstappen i would do it again.

zoya torres wait, where was carlos during all of this?

carlos sainz i was trying to stop charles and pierre from running into traffic. pierre gasly see, it's best i don't remember what happened that night. charles leclerc i second that.

mick schumacher who's posting bail if one of us gets arrested?

lewis hamilton seb, nando, and i got each other covered.

max jones-verstappen i say the people dating bail each other out.

natalia ruiz i agree.

oscar piastri i hope logan gets arrested.

logan sargeant fuck you, what did i do? oscar piastri YOU PUSHED ME IN THE OCEAN AFTER MONACO DICK! logan sargeant i forgot i did that oscar piastri WELL I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ASSHOLE!

rowan todd this is my official petition to get is it over now as a surprise song

isabella perez OH I SECOND THAT! daphne jones-ricciardo noted.

daniel jones-ricciardo i vote endgame as a surprise song

lewis hamilton i knew the nonsense outros were unhinged but oh my god, they caught me so off guard.

isabella perez can't wait to show christian the videos

max jones-verstappen i literally hate you so much freya vettel that's a fucking lie and we all know it.

natalia ruiz i agree, you've grown attached to her

max jones-verstappen she's like mold.

daphne jones-ricciardo glad to announce that no one got arrested.

mick schumacher we're saving it for vegas

lando norris the things i do for you people.

esteban ocon get over it muppet, we'll still celebrate your birthday in vegas lando norris good, the jetlang is about to be insane.

carlos sainz you're the one who wants to fly to vegas to have a party there for your birthday! this is your fault

lando norris blah blah. you're just old

sebastian vettel i hope you all enjoy vegas, but i won't be going.

lando norris BUT IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! sebastian vettel i know, i gave lewis your gift. would've given it to bailey but i know you would want to snoop through her things.

bailey winters it's true. last year i hid his gift in my luggage and he found it.

lando norris i'm a snooper, what can i say.

fernando alonso this is official petition for rowan and pierre to NOT get married again!!

pierre gasly you people never let anything go

rowan todd okay, it was one time. it's not like we're going to do it again.

mae jones-verstappen seb, you have to be at vegas!

sebastian vettel and why would i mae?

max jones-verstappen i regret to inform everyone that mae want to have a party in vegas and announce our marriage by hosting a fake wedding. and since seb officiated the monaco wedding, he has to be there for vegas.

arthur leclerc at least someone is going to do a vegas wedding right

pierre gasly you know what little leclerc? dulce perez i will run you over french fry. pierre gasly nevermind

sebastian vettel fine. but only because i like mae.

mae jones-verstappen VICTORY!

fernando alonso he's going to regret this so much.

lewis hamilton at least jenson will stop complaining about not being invited.

fernando alonso oscar can invite the other half of multi-21 sebastian vettel LET IT GO ALREADY!! fernando alonso NEVER!

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj @dan3avocado @melissayalene @nothanqks @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @chezmardybum @d3kstar@weekendlusting@anytimeanywherebitchblog @ragioniera @burberryfilms @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! anyways, we're ignoring the rumors because mentally i can't take any more silly season right now. i am choosing to ignore the rumors and believe alex is moving to ferrari in 2025. delulu is truly the solulu on this blog.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #the honest series #formula 1 #formula 1 fic #fanfic #fanfiction #f1 #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 instagram au #f1 fic

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michelle-is-writing · 1 year

Text

Unexpected ch.2, Spencer Reid

Word count: 4.4k~

Read the first part here!

It isn't that hard to lie and say you need an emergency transfer to where your parents live. Thankfully, I'm able to do such a thing and move into a house similar to the last one I had when I lived in Las Vegas. I'm even more thankful to gain a good position at the FBI agency there, but I'm not all too thrilled about having to leave my best friends at Quantico. I knew them for only a short year, but it felt like I knew them forever.

Four months of the same work I once did months before pass, but this time, I've had to do it a bit differently. Instead of being able to travel to other agencies and help review specific cases for them to solve, I'm forced to stay at my agency and continue working there. It turns out the FBI doesn't exactly like their pregnant workers traveling, no matter how far along they are.

In my second month of working, I found out I was pregnant through a sudden spell of vomiting and fever. When one of my co-workers took me to the doctor, they did a blood test, and like any other unsuspecting parent, the news hit me in the face. One night of passion, sadness, and hurt lead to that moment where I was given the two exciting words that I had least expected.

"You're pregnant!"

When I was first given the news, I was excited, and I still am. I've always wanted kids, but I've always wanted to have kids that had a father present in their lives (preferably, in this case, Spencer). Going by the fact that Spencer most likely hates me for my sudden absence from work and leaving in the middle of the night, I can presume he doesn't want anything to do with our baby. Who would? But at the same time, can you blame me for leaving?

I felt alone in a relationship with a guy who acted like he barely knew me when we had known each other for our entire lives. I felt like I knew Spencer like no one else, and vice versa. I was wrong about something I would have bet my life on, and it was absolutely mortifying.

I still love Spencer, and I will never stop loving him. I think out of everything, that's the most painful thing. The high probability that he hates me now comes in second, which is why I haven't told him about my pregnancy. That, and I presume he never wanted kids - so, how can I push that onto him and make him not only hate me but a child he helped create? Why would my child ever deserve that?

Without fail, Penelope has tried to call me once every week ever since I left, and I just can't answer her calls. As stated once before, me leaving out of nowhere is embarrassing. I know that the gang is concerned about me leaving without saying anything, but how can I face them without lying? I can't just tell them I left because I knew Spencer didn't love me like I thought - that would've just added insult to injury.

However, the call Penelope sent this week was followed by two consecutive text messages.

Answer me right now or I will hack into any information about you there is available!

I mean it!

Because I knew she really did mean it, I answered her next call without hesitation.

"Hi, Penelope," I answered her, my voice drained of all emotion. Sitting down on my couch with my phone held against my ear, I placed my free hand over my small baby bump and lightly rub it without even thinking about it. I love my ever-growing child with all of my heart, and I haven't even met the baby boy yet.

"Don't 'hey, Penelope' me!" She almost shouts into my ear, causing me to close my eyes with guilt. "You haven't called, texted, emailed, nothing! You have sent me absolutely nothing explaining why you left! Why did you leave?!"

Her question makes me want to vomit, and I know I can't lie to her. "Spencer and I slept together the night before I left," I explain blatantly, hearing an immediate response only seconds later.

"So what?! Was the sex lousy? Did he not do it right?" Her questions roll off her tongue without pausing. "You have to teach the boy! He hasn't had that much experience in the past years, so you have to give him pointers and-"

"Pen, he couldn't get Maeve off his mind," I cut her off, tears rolling down my cheeks. As much as I'd love to laugh at Penelope's usual actions, I can't when I'm thinking about that night. "H-he mentioned her right after we were done, and I realized I would never be enough for him. I-I just couldn't face him after that, Pen; I just couldn't."

Unlike last time, Penelope halts her words before letting out a single-word response. "Oh," She mutters, every ounce of anger or frustration gone from her voice. She knew how I felt about Spencer and how I had always felt about him, even when we were younger.

A few more seconds pass before she speaks up again, her voice now a bit quieter. "But why couldn't you call me back or anything? Why'd you have to ignore me?"

Penelope's softly spoken words break my heart, and with the already falling tears, I can't hold back the new ones that arise. Biting my lip to prevent myself from sobbing out-loud, I take my hand away from my belly and raise it to cover my mouth. I never wanted to hurt anyone - I truly didn't - so, it hurts to hear that I ended up doing so anyway.

"Penelope, I'm pregnant," I shakily confess, shaking my head as I continually cry. "And I couldn't tell you, or Spencer, or anyone, because Spencer never wanted any kids! He never wanted me, Pen!"

Every word that leaves my lips is followed by my hands waving around frantically as I close my eyes with a shake of my head. It physically hurts to admit all of this to Penelope. Not only does it hurt, but it's embarrassing. I'm by myself with no one around me, the only guy I've ever loved doesn't want me, and I'm pregnant and scared to death. I have never felt so alone in my life, and it sucks.

"...Does he know?" Penelope asks, making me instantly sober up.

"NO!" I nearly shout, my eyes shooting open. "No, Pen, you cannot tell him! Whatever, you do, do. not. tell. him!"

"But, he deserves to know, (Y/n)!" Penelope argues, making me cry even more. She just said the same thing I've been debating with myself over the past two months, and to hear her say it makes me want to just fall asleep and forget about my problems. She's right, and I know it.

"He. doesn't. want. kids. Pen!" I repeat myself, placing my hand to my forehead. "And he doesn't want me either!"

"(Y/n), he does! He does want you!" Penelope tells me, making me shake my head. "When you left, he didn't talk to anyone. He just... he shrank into himself and never came back out! When we saw that you had transferred to the Las Vegas Unit, Spencer submitted transfer papers! Just to be with you!" Her words shoot right through me, making me pause in my actions as my eyes go wide. "He got denied, and when you didn't respond to my calls or his calls, he thought... he thought you didn't love him."

"Oh, God," I mutter, shaking my head. "I never stopped loving him, Pen - how could I? H-how could he think that?" I ask, not expecting an answer back from Penelope. "I tried to do everything I could to make him feel loved, to let him know I loved him and only him!"

Leaning my head back against the couch, I sink further into the plush material with a sigh. "When in reality, I was the one who never got anything like that back," I explain, my voice slow and calm now that I've let out the things I've been holding back on saying for months now. "I was the one who felt like I was never good enough no matter what I did or how hard I'd try... I would always be second-best - and that was that."

"If only you know how wrong you are, (Y/n)," Penelope tells me, sounding like she's crying too. "I-I know you won't believe me, but none of what you are saying is true. Absolutely none of it," She adds, "Spencer loves you with every ounce of his being, and you are not second-best to him."

"Pen..." I drag on, sighing.

"I know you don't believe me, but you have to," She states, before letting out a sigh. "I miss you, girl-genius, and I want to come and see you," Penelope confesses, making me lightly smile. "I miss our fashion conversations and shopping trips, and I've been sad the entire time you've been gone!"

Once all of her words process through my mind, I smile fully. Despite the shit that I've done, she's still the same fun-loving, girly-girl Penelope that I was close to in Quantico, and somehow, we're still close.

"I miss you too, Pen," I tell her, placing my hand back on top of my risen belly. In response, two little feet kick against my hand, making me smile. "I... I'm off for the next couple weeks if you want to come and see me," I tell her, "I think I'd like it if my baby boy met his aunty."

As soon as the words leave my lips, Penelope gasps. "You're having a boy?" She asks gently, making me giggle. I guess I didn't include that when I first told her. "That's it - I'll be coming in on Friday!"

I grin. "Don't rent a hotel room!" I tell her, standing from the couch to walk into the extra room in my house. I didn't think I'd be having anybody stay over for a while, so I didn't put any sheets or pillows on the guest bedroom bed. "I have a guest room here at my place, so don't waste any money on a room."

"Okay, okay!" She cheers, making me smile even more. "I'll get a flight and be over there in no time. I love you, and I'll see you then!"

With that, I tell her I love her back and we hang up. With my phone now in my hand rather than pressed against my ear, I move to sit on the mattress and sigh. I wasn't expecting Penelope to say everything she did, nor did I expect her to be so forgiving of me. Although, it is Penelope we're talking about here, and I don't think there's ever been a moment in her life where she wasn't understanding. I told her my problems, and in spite of loving Spencer like a brother, she listened to me and understood where I was coming from.

"I'm sorry you had to hear what your mummy told Aunt Pen," I apologize to my bump, my hand still resting against it. "Your daddy really is a great guy with a big heart, but mummy wasn't meant for him," Despite my heart cracking as I mutter these words, I smile and circle my hand around my bump. "However, mummy knows that you and I are meant to be, and no matter what, you will always be my little boy."

With Penelope calling me on Wednesday night, I didn't have to wait long for her arrival. I even went out and bought some lilac sheets for the bed so she could be on new ones, and I also got a pair of peacock themed earrings for her while I was out. I have to admit I'm a bit excited to see what she has to say about the nursery I've put together myself. I painted the walls with pale blue paint and then stenciled ducks throughout the middle of the wall. The furniture is all made out of a Walnut wood shade, and the curtains match the walls with a yellow ribbon holding them together.

On Friday night, I put everything together for Penelope's arrival and smile to myself. A part of me wants to believe it's just her that's coming, but another part of me is telling me that she's bringing Spencer with her. I'm partially scared, but at the same time, I'm not. What happens, happens... and there's nothing I can do about it.

Hearing a knock at the door, I close the kitchen drawer I'm currently digging into and move onto the next one. "Come in!" I shout, digging through the mess of kitchen utensils to find the pair of earrings I bought for Penelope. What interrupts me is two little feet kicking me as I do so, making me stop and place a hand to my belly. "Not now, little one!" I whisper with a smile, feeling my baby boy halt in his kicking. I can only hope he'll be willing to listen to me like this when he gets older.

Just as I find the black gift bag with the peacock themed jewelry in it, I hear my apartment door open and close. It isn't a peppy voice that I hear a few seconds later, and instead, a voice that I've wanted to hear for what feels like such a long time. Now that I hear him speak, I realize my mother's intuition has already kicked in.

"You know," the deep, yet boyish voice begins, making me stop moving. "Standing for long lengths of time can slow down the growth of a fetus, and cause premature birth as well as prolonged pain in the lower back."

A few moments pass before I slowly place the jewelry on my kitchen counter and turn around to see Spencer standing a few feet away from me, his hands wrestling with each other. Despite my mind telling me not to, my body takes charge, and I look into Spencer's eyes to see him gazing at me with glossed-over eyes. Once he sees my bump, his mouth lightly drops. "You..." He begins, holding a hand out. "You look amazing."

Leaning back against the counter behind me, I look away and harshly swallow, my throat feeling like it's being squeezed closed. "Spence..." I say the name I've always called him, but nothing follows it. I don't know what to say to Spencer at this moment, and going by the short silence that follows, he doesn't either.

"Why..." he starts, making me look back at him. This time, his tears are falling down his face freely. "Why didn't you tell me?" He finally asks, gently shaking his head. He truly doesn't realize, and even if I tell him, I don't think he'd understand.

"I know why you left," He explains, walking toward me with unsure steps. "And I-I realize that it was so stupid to talk about Maeve after we... we-we," Spencer stutters, making me shake my head as I bite my lip. "I never meant to send you away, (Y/n); I never wanted you to leave," He confesses, a tear trailing down his cheek. "That was the last thing I wanted you to do."

Once again, in spite of every signal my mind is sending me, I watch myself step forward and wipe Spencer's fallen tears away, his head leaning into my touch as I do so. With tears gathering in my eyes, I watch with bleary vision as Spencer lets out a shaky sigh before looking down at my bump and gently smiling. "It-It's mine," He states the obvious, making me smile as the tears finally fall.

Leaving my hand against the side of his face, I take his hand into my free hand and place it against my stomach, his warm fingers pressing against my belly with a softness I've never felt from him. "He is yours," I explain, emphasizing the sex to him. Instantly, he picks up on it and lets out a short noise of happiness, making me want to hug him to death, but I don't think I can handle that at this moment.

"Spencer, do you... do you want me? Have you... have you ever wanted me?" I ask him, his eyes instantly flickering up to meet mine.

"Every day of my life, yes," Spencer tells me, nodding his head up and down repeatedly. "My words to you about Maeve w-were not an attempt to tell you otherwise, I promise you," Watching as he shakes his head, I see him visibly struggle to swallow. "I just needed to get that out, and with you, I felt like I could tell you anything," He confesses, a few seconds passing before he shakes his head again. "And I felt that if I didn't let out my feelings, I wouldn't be able to move on, and then I wouldn't be able to give you all of me in my entirety because there is nothing I want more than that."

More tears sliding down his face, he leans down and lays his head against mine. Meanwhile, the tears haven't stopped falling from my eyes either, and even though I've felt hurt by Spencer for these past few months, I know he's telling me the truth. "I want you, (Y/n); you're all I've ever wanted," He tells me, crying even more as he shakes his head. "If you would have told me that I messed up that night by saying the stuff I did that bothered you, I would have apologized until the end of time for you. I would've done anything just to get you to stay."

At this moment, I feel guilty for not only what I've put myself through for these last months, but Spencer as well. I'm glad that he understands why I felt the way I did, but what I'm unhappy about is the fact that I was the one who wasn't understanding. For five seconds, if I had seen the difference in how he said his last words to me rather than what he was saying, we wouldn't be in this predicament. We wouldn't have been without each other, and we wouldn't have gone through so much by ourselves with no one to fall back on.

"If I wasn't pregnant with your baby," I start, my voice wary and slow. "Would you have still come back for me?" I ask, pulling my head away from his to look up at him.

In response, Spencer simply smiles and nods. "Even if you had left in the morning and told me goodbye, and you came here without our son growing inside you, I would have still fought for you with my life," He confesses, still smiling. "When I was young, I was stupid and I let you go without a fight," Spencer then shakes his head. "I don't want to do that again - I can't do that again."

Once again, I know that what Spencer's telling me is completely truthful and coming from his heart. For once, he isn't saying statistics or facts about what is going on around him, and instead, he's speaking up about himself and how he feels. He's not reading from a textbook or informative journal - it's all coming from him.

"I don't want you to do that again either, Spencer," I admit, welcoming his arm as he wraps them around my waist and slowly pulls me close. With my bump pressed against his practically non-existent stomach, I smile, feeling two little feet kick in response. My boy has never reacted like this when I've hugged people in the past - maybe he somehow knows who I'm hugging, and perhaps he's excited.

"I love you, (Y/n)," Spencer states, his other hand coming up to hold my cheek. Looking up at him, I see tears still flowing down his cheeks like before, although there are fewer this time around as his smile remains on his lips. "I love you so much, and I want you to see that so badly."

Spencer Reid - the man who avoids drama at all costs, rarely takes risks, isn't too great with social interaction, and who doesn't always show his emotions - is currently standing in my kitchen with his arms holding me close to him as he confesses his true feelings. At the same time, he's interacting with our son in ways he doesn't even know about, and for once, he's fighting for me by taking a six-hour flight to get to me and try to win me back. At this point, I never realized that it's something I've wished for with all my heart ever since I left.

"I do see it, Spence," I tell him, giving him a tearful smile. "I see it right now as we speak, and I see it looking back too," I add on, watching as his face never changes at my words. He probably doesn't believe me, or he doesn't want to because he's mad at himself for waiting for so long to do such a thing. "I see everything, Spencer, and I will always love you too," This time, my words do make a change occur, and I'm thankful to see it's a positive one. "Besides, I always have."

In response, his smile widens before he leans forward and plants his lips against mine. However, the kiss doesn't last long as Spencer soon pulls away and pushes his head into my neck. "Please, forgive me," He pleads, sounding broken like before. "Please, please, please," Spencer repeats the word over and over again until I speak up.

"Baby, I forgave you long ago," I tell him, only to earn a head shake in response.

"No, no, not just for this," Spencer murmurs, raising his head from my neck. Leaning above me, Spencer stares into my eyes while gently swaying us in our embrace. I don't think he knows he's doing it.

"Back when we still lived here in Las Vegas, I-I moved everything out of the apartment without telling you. I was in a rush to get moved into my dorm while moving my mom into Bennington that all I left was a note, a stupid note!"

Every word that leaves his lips afterward doesn't reach my ears. He left me a note? When I went into the empty apartment, there was absolutely nothing in there! If there was a note, then I surely would have seen it.

"Spencer," I cut him off from his rambling, and for once, he stops speaking. Turning my eyes up to his, I gently shake my head. "There was no note in the apartment. I-I went in, and every-single-thing was gone; it felt like you wanted me to feel forgotten, and it hurt."

Once I'm done speaking, Spencer leans down and places another kiss to my lips, apologies following afterward just like before. "I promise you, I left a note - I swear I did!" Spencer's words come out in a rush as if he were scared that I wouldn't believe him.

"It's okay, Spencer. I believe you," I assure him, nodding. "The owners of the apartment probably came by and cleaned up since there was absolutely nothing left - no furniture, pictures, curtains, nothing."

At that, Spencer shakes his head with squinted eyes. He then goes to say something, but quickly cuts himself off with a sigh. "No matter what, I love you - I loved you back then too," He confesses, his eyes flashing over to mine. "I thought for the longest time that you wanted nothing to do with me, hence why you never tried to see me."

If only he knows how far that is from the truth. For so long, I tried to find him. I searched everywhere online, but nothing ever came up except for old news articles about how smart of a kid he was. It wasn't until I joined the BAU that I realized why his online presence was so scarce - it was for his protection.

"I searched for you for a long time," I tell him, smiling at him as I reach up to cup his cheek. "But, I could never find anything on you. I never thought to look at our employee list though."

Laughing at my words, Spencer shakes his head at the irony before sighing once again. "I looked for you too, but I always got scared when I found you," He confesses, shaking his head. "I didn't think you'd want me meddling in your life."

Just like before, his words break my heart. There are too many damn things that have gone wrong in our relationship that could have been solved way before now. "Let's... let's not let another misunderstanding ruin our relationship again - please," I plead, wanting nothing more but to be close with Spencer without anything holding us back.

Liking the idea, Spencer smiles back and nods. "Let's," He agrees, leaning forward to plant his lips onto mine. As soon as he does, the baby boy in my belly begins kicking again, prompting me to place both of Spencer's hands on my stomach. Feeling his son kick, Spencer pulls away from the kiss to let out a mix of a surprised gasp/laugh, making me giggle with him. "I love you," He tells me, turning his smiling face back to me with happiness written all over it.

Smiling back, I lean farther into him with his hands still pressed against my swollen tummy, my head leaning against his chest. "I love you too," I respond, feeling as if the only things around me that matter are Spencer and our son.

Thanks to Penelope (who I doubt is even coming down here and is probably waiting for me to return to Quantico), I finally get to be with the person I feel to be my soulmate, once and for all.

This may not have been the way I wanted to start a family, but I can't say I'm ungrateful for us now. Finally, after so many years, things are cleared up and no longer blocking the possibility of Spencer and I loving each other. For once, we finally get to be with each other in peace and utter devotion - nothing else.

#spencer reid imagine #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid #spencer reid imagines #spencer reid one shot #spencer reid drabble #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fic #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds imagines #criminal minds oneshot #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler imagines #matthew gray gubler imagine #mathew gray gubler

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vegaseatsass · 4 months

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My Stand-in Ep 4 spoilers

Now for a happy post! My Stand-In doing intimate partner violence and toxicity correctly, and by correctly I mean so so sexily <3 Loving this series a lot and recommending it to all my friends lmao. Certainly did not expect it to escalate to this level. My inner Vegas bitch is purring. Just a few notes I wanted to touch on before I get to read what everyone else is saying!

This is now a Wut hate blog! Wowie! Imagine hearing your mentee friend sweetiepie nong was knocked out and chained up in a basement by his deranged (a-affectionate) ex, and reacting like whew! Thank GOD you didn't stand me up on purpose! Lol ya know, I suspected your abusive partner was maybe abusing you, it feels so good to be vindicated in this :') I knew you were a good egg! Anyyyyyyway, no I CAN'T do a thing for you, I staunchly point blank refuse to do anything to support you now that you're isolated, blacklisted, vulnerable, financially desperate and alone. FIND YOUR OWN MEANS OF FINANCIAL SECURITY BUDDY oh but if you do something risky just know I'll be very mad at you and reject you as my nong and isolate you even harder <3 hope this helps!

Don't get me wrong I love Joe's abusive partner though <3 what a man <3 LOVE that his first line of defense is negging. You? Break up with me? Loser! I'm better than you! Lmao like the reason Joe can't believe Ming loves him even when he does start trying to tell him that he loves him isn't just that their whole relationship started as a proxyfucker situation and a lie. It's because Ming spent their whole relationship telling Joe he didn't love him!! :') :') :') They literally both just want someone to be nice to them for five seconds and Joe is able to be nice for five thousand seconds but Ming can't pull it off for more than a minute at a time before trying to get control of the situation again by being a dick. Until his boyfriend is presumed dead. LOVE THAT FOR HIM <3333333

Ming and Sol pulling each other's hair and like having a full-on cat fight was honestly hilarious, 10/10 no notes every show about trained buff men should have slap fights. for ME

Lastly!! the real reason I wanted to post is just how fascinating I find Joe's swing from "we're in love and we're going to get married" the first time Ming smiles at him into "you're full of shit Ming! Don't lie and tell me you actually care about me, I KNOW I was just a sex doll to you and you always loved Tong only!" Like I said, I think Ming playing it cool their entire relationship did not do him any favors re: convincing Joe at this late and chained-up stage that he was actually cared about lmaooooo but I am also torn between thinking that if Ming HAD been able to convince Joe he loved him in that moment, Joe would have sincerely fucked him with the chains on, and let Ming keep him there indefinitely as his basement boyfriend... and between thinking Joe's all-or-nothing reaction to Ming's affections was self-protective survival instinct, getting him the fuck out of there even if a small part of him not only wanted to believe Ming but did believe Ming in that moment. Like he couldn't LET himself believe Ming BECAUSE he needed to not give into the unhinged toxicity, rather than because he actually doesn't think it's possible for Ming to have started out using him but come to love him. Or maybe it's his broken heart and hurt pride that make it impossible to allow that his honeymoon period with Ming was fake but what came after it was real on Ming's end. Does any of that sense? What do u think?

I know nothing about what happens in the novel and that's making this an incredibly incredibly wild and fun ride but also may mean my interpretations are missing very obvious-to-the-readers context. Alas! But I am truly having a ball.

#so many walls of text but it's how i think so shrug emoji etc #my stand in #mingjoe #dear diary

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laesas · 2 years

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Actually you know what how much more unhinged pairings could we get? VegasKen? KenPorsche? ChanVegas? ChanPorsche?

TankhunChan?

VegasKen - When I say I am *obsessed* with this concept. I have been tinhat screaming about this for months (THE RING!! THE RING!!). but I'm not even their #1 fan... I know I keep hyping up this fic that hasn't come out yet but @kinnbig is sitting on a VegasKen that's possibly my favourite chapter of anything ever. Deranged. Sinister. So SO fucking hot. Fuck Raw Approval: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥/5

KenPorsche - Tit game phenomenal. The bodyguard equivalent of the two warring hottie airhead mean-girls getting flung together at a high school party by a game of 7 minutes in heaven and *finally* breaking the tension by fingering eachother in the coat closet. They still lowkey hate eachother after but at least they gave it a whirl. Nice one losers. Fuck-Raw Approval: 🔥🔥🔥🔥/5

ChanVegas - I can't lie this one BLINDSIDED me but I love it. I *need* it actually. Degradation/Praise kink Vegas being put in his place? Captain Daddy-Issues meets Daddy Chan? Hell yeah bröther! Fuck-Raw Approval:🔥🔥🔥🔥/5

ChanPorsche - Eh! Subordinate being kept in line by someone older and more skilled with more power? They want what Kinnporsche already has. The most vanilla 'daddy-kink' ghostship after ChanBig. ChanVegas for the swag-deficient. 🔥/5 Next.

TankhunChan - I was ready to dismiss this outright for the actual visceral reaction it pulled out of me. But the implication that Tankhun would top compels me beyond belief. 🔥🔥🔥/5 but purely because I need to know more. What other wonders of their sex lives are hereto yet untold. I read this and immediately felt like the Charles Darwin of blorbo sex. I neither approve nor disapprove but I think they should fuck raw purely so I can study them like bugs lmao 👩🏾‍🔬

Was only half joking about turning this into an ask meme:

Send me your unhinged blorbo pairings and I will tell you whether they should fuck raw or nah 💌✨💕

#anon is on my inbox is open do your absolute worst: the more crack in the ship the better #kinnporsche the series #wherelanguage-ends #ask #I just love a rare pair!! theyre delicious. tbf no other show has the mix-and-matchability of KP but other rarepairs sorely stanned #fuck raw ratings #kpts

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mirrorofprinces · 2 years

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ao3 wrapped ask: 3, 5, 6, 12, 17, 18, 19, 20, 28, 29, 30!

answered 17, 28, 29 <3

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? i thinkkkk i can't stop and look the other way. i knew for sure i wanted to play with infidelity kink (and my original idea was actually for the infidelity to be real lol) but i chickened out and just made it a roleplay, and even clearly tagged it as such, but i'm proud of how i pulled it off in a way that a bunch of people commented saying they forgot or didn't realize it was roleplay hehe. maybe i'll write actual infidelity one day! who knows

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? god, that's gotta be give it to ya like you never had it. i truly didn't expect the response it's gotten because there was already a super popular pornstar AU fic, so i knew my second cake would just be a humble offering in comparison, but i think a lot of people really liked the way i wrote them here where i had fun exploring their personalities outside of mafia canon.

6. Favorite title you used? oh, i hate all my titles, i literally don't think of a title until 30 seconds before posting, and then i end up using whatever song i was listening to while writing...

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? jesus christ. you don't wanna know. it's in the double digits for sure lmao ><

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? i don't know that it's been one character consistently in my posted fics, but i can admit that the "character" in my rpf WIPs that's been giving me hell is apo. he is so hard to write!

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? i guess i can technically say mileapo since i haven't finished or posted any mileapo fics yet. but another kp ship i want to try is (unpopular opinion alert) vegasporsche. hear me out!! they might suck together in the series, but they have a different dynamic in the novel, and their relationship is more genuine (not FULLY genuine but like, more than in the show lol, like they become friends and vegas develops actual feelings for porsche and everything). but i just don't know if i'll ever actually write them because i would need the perfect idea or AU and it hasn't come to me yet.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most? probably down like my head on your chest, because i THINK it's my fav la fortissimo fic. i'm just really happy with the scenes i chose to hornify, plus the hallway-semi-public-masturbation bit was a huge turning point for porsche where he was given full control of the situation for once and he still chose to submit. you don't really get this because it's in porsche pov, but from that point on in the series, you notice kinn ends up "playing with porsche's emotions" a lot more (ie. having him drive his twinks home, fucking a lot more escorts, shutting down conversations about their feelings) and that's actually kinn poorly coping with porsche's unwavering trust by trying to prove to himself that he doesn't feel anything for porsche, which we all know is a BIG FAT LIE. but anyways. no one reads into the story this deeply, i know you're all just here for the smut <3

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? my biggest surprise is that i can write again LMAO. before kp brainrot, i went like a full 2 calendar years without writing anything because i was so uninspired, plus constantly comparing myself to the thousands of better writers in the huge fandom i was in at the time. kp also has incredible writers but it's a much smaller fandom and i feel a lot less self-conscious posting here. i remember in my old fandom, i literally couldn't even tweet about an idea i had that i wanted to write without getting a dozen replies from people saying "there's already a fic like that", which is like, ok, i know none of my ideas were especially original, but getting that response constantly made me feel like my writing just wasn't welcome. oh well. with kp being a new and small fandom, nothing feels "overdone" yet, so i'm having a lot of fun in this playground!

#answered #my writing

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afterglow-tommylee · 2 years

Text

Chapter 30. In A New York Minute

New York City New York, November 15 2002

"...no I know... I know baby..." I say holding my cell phone to my ear as I stand in front of the floor length mirror in my hotel room trying to decide what to wear.

I had set up a gig for Damageplan in New York to have some record labels scout them for a potential deal. They had a few offers over the last couple of months but nothing that they felt were right for them, so I sent out a couple of invites to some independent labels and it seems that a representative from Elektra records got word on their gig tonight at Irving Plaza.

"Fuck, I can't fucking believe after everything, she'd fuckin' pull this shit. We were finally in a good place and then this..." Tommy says to me.

"I know baby," I say.

Tommy had to stay back home and meet with his lawyers about what to do with the custody lawsuit that Pam had served him with. When we came home after the Vegas Hard Rock Cafe and Casino opening, Pam had decided to stop visitation with Brandon and Dylan. We weren't even able to have the boys for Christmas which broke Tommy's heart, and mine too of course. It totally came out of nowhere. She's claiming that because of everything that has happened in the past between her and Tommy, along with accusations of him still doing drugs and partying, he's somehow not fit to have visitation for long periods of time.

It's absolutely insane. I have no idea where she got the idea to do this but it's completely uncalled for. Everything that she is claiming is a complete lie and it doesn't make sense given the fact that though her and I have only engaged with each other maybe a handful of times - most of the time when we're picking up the boys or if it's a drop off to our house, she has the nanny do it and pretends she isn't home - we've always been fine with each other. Like, we're definitely not friends but we're civil when it comes to Brandon and Dylan. She knows Tommy has been clean since '98 and yes he does have a few drinks here and there but it's never to the point where he's out of control and it's never around the boys.

"I fuckin' wish I could be there with you baby," He says so sweetly.

"I know, I wish you could be here too. It's weird here without you. I miss you," I say. It's the first time we've been apart since before we got married. I hate that we're apart. I know it's only been a few days so far but I miss him like crazy, and I hate that he has to meet with his lawyers alone.

"I miss you so fuckin' much. You're the only one that can keep me sane during all this shit. You're the only fuckin' thing that's good in my life, I swear," He pauses, then after a few moments he says, "Alright enough about my shit...how's everything going there?"

"Uh, well the gig is tonight and I'm so fucking nervous. There's a rep from Elektra records that somehow heard about the show and he's showing up tonight -"

"Really, who babe? Is it Tom?"

Tom Zuaut was the guy who originally signed Motley to Elektra back in '82 after he saw the guys play live and heard their To Fast For Love Album on their own label at the time, Leathur Records.

"I have no idea, I just know that there are a couple of labels interested in them and I'm freaking out," I say as I toss the shirt that I was holding onto the bed and pick up my plain black long sleeve dress, holding it to myself in the mirror trying to decide what would be better.

"Awe baby, don't freak out, you got this, you know you do," He says.

"Maybe... I don't know... I swear it feels like I have no idea what I'm doing," I say apprehensively as I glance at myself in the mirror doubting everything like I usually do. "And it doesn't help that I have no idea what to wear,"

"What are you wearing right now?" He asks.

"Nothing, just my bra and underwear," I say as I frustratingly toss the plain black dress back onto the bed and flip my smooth freshly straightened locks out of my face.

"The little black lacy ones?" He asks and I raise my eyebrow at him even though I know he can't see me.

"Tommy," I say firmly.

"What? Fuck I can't help it, I miss you god damn it," He says, his Californian accent coming though and I giggle. I then glance at the clock on the bedside table and realize I am now running late.

"Shit, I'm sorry baby I gotta go, I've got like a half hour to get ready and get over to the venue," I say sadly. I really didn't want to hang up with him. Fuck why can't he be here with me.

"Ok babe, it's ok... do what you gotta do,"

Once we hang up with each other after professing our love for each other once more, I set my phone down on the bed to try and figure out what to wear again, it buzzes with a text message.

TOMMY: I fuckin' love you so fuckin' much!

I smile to myself as I pick up my phone, then type,

ANDI: I love you so fuckin' much too, you have no idea, but I have a question...

TOMMY: What baby?

ANDI: Can you tell me what to wear cause I'm drawing a fucking blank here

TOMMY: 😂🤣

ANDI: No seriously, help me

TOMMY: Baby, you are gonna look so fuckin' hot no matter what you wear, stop stressin'

ANDI: Ok... I love you, I'll text in a bit

I then set my phone back down and stare at the clothing that I have strewn across the bed, then finally decide on going with my black lacy long sleeve mini dress, that barely covered my ass - or it felt like it anyways- which was slightly see through but not too bad, and my black Louis Vuitton pumps. I check myself in the mirror once more, feeling like I still look metal enough, with some sexiness thrown in there. I then grab my leather jacket, giving myself one last internal pep talk, grab my phone and head out the door.

***

Irving Plaza New York City, New York November 15 2002

I arrived at the venue a short while later, just as they were opening for the evening. As I head inside, I show my ID and pass, then I'm directed to the backstage area where all of the dressing rooms are. I make my way down the long fluorescent lit hallway, hearing music booming from a couple of the rooms. Once I approach the door with "Damageplan" labeled on the front, I slowly turn the knob and open the door, seeing everyone inside laughing and having fun.

"Andi! You made it darlin'" I hear Dime's booming voice over everyone as I make my way over to him by the mini bar.

"I did, can you believe it?" I smile at him and he laughs as he embraces me in a hug.

"Hey, sweetie," He says in that southern drawl as he holds me.

"Hey you, how are you? You good?"" I ask as we hold each other for a few more moments.

"I am fuckin' awesome sweetie, I can't fuckin' wait to get out there let me tell ya," He says happily as we let go of each other. I then greet Rita who was beside him and she embraces me in a hug as well.

"Where's T-bone?' Dime asks as he finishes making me a drink and hands it to me.

"He's at home... some stuff he had to take care of," I say.

"You guys ok?" Rita asks, concerned.

"Yes, yes of course," I say quickly. "Just some... personal shit" and I take a sip of my drink. It wasn't my place to explain what was actually going on and I thought it was best just to leave it at that.

We then catch up some more, after I greet the rest of the band, tearing Vinny away from some lovely ladies to say hello and we go over how soundcheck went, since I hadn't talked to Kat Brook, their tour manager yet. I then go over how there will be a few label reps out in the audience, not to put any pressure on them but just so that they know, I'm doing whatever I can to help them get a deal, and a good one at that. Then once we had all of the business aspects out of the way, we all continued to relax and have a good time with the drinks flowing and what not before they went on.

Dime, as sweet as he is, kept feeding me more Jack and Cokes. As soon as I finished one, he would immediately replace it with another telling me 'it's still only one drink.'

I fucking love him.

Once I was feeling good, not drunk but just buzzed, more people showed up in the dressing room, obviously mostly friends of Vinny and Dime, I suddenly saw an extremely familiar face walk through the door.

It was Kenny Hickey.

*** "I have never loved anyone in my life as much as I love you. I have never wanted anyone more than the way I want you. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me -

"Kenny - "

"I swear to fuck that I will never love anyone as much as I love you and I want you to marry me,"

"What?"

"I want you to marry me,"***

"Hey dude what's up," Dime says, breaking me out of my memory as Kenny walks over to us.

"Nothin' just heard you guys might get a record deal tonight, thought I'd see what's up," Kenny says in that Brooklyn accent of his as they embrace each other.

"Well as long as Andi here, does her job... it's gonna happen," Dime jokes, winking at me once they pull away from each other.

"Very funny," I giggle and tap him playfully on his chest and he laughs. I then glance at Kenny as he looks at me with such a sweet look on his face.

He looks exactly the same - except with the addition of a goatee which suited him really well - he still looks the same with his jet black hair passed his shoulders, wearing his leather jacket, a black button up shirt, black jeans and instead of those biker boots he used to wear he has now opted for black leather Doc Martens.

"Hey you," He says to me.

"Hey," I say with a sigh and a smile and after a couple of moments, he steps closer to me and embraces me in a hug. His embrace feels the same with the warmth of an old friend. His scent was even the same with that sweetness and musk that always made him smell so good.

"So... I guess it's been a while," Kenny says when he pulls away from me.

"Yea, I guess it has," I say.

"You uh, you look good," He says quickly glancing over me, then his dark eyes catch mine again.

"Thank you," I say, glancing down at myself. "You're not so bad yourself," I add, glancing back up at him.

"What, this old thing? Pffft, It's just a trick of the light. If you saw me outside you'd be like 'OH MY GOD what is this ugly thing standing beside me'?" He says exaggeratedly, his voice husky, which makes me laugh.

He really hasn't changed one bit.

"So you and Tommy Lee huh?"

"Yea," I say and he offers me a small smile.

"Yea, I can see that. I mean, he's a good guy, and maybe a little hyper, and could do without all that drama but - "

"Yea," I giggle.

"He's a good dude," Kenny says.

"Funny, you calling him hyper," I say remembering all the craziness between us at one time many years ago.

"Hey, I never said I wasn't at times, he just is like even more so," He chuckles and I laugh.

"You happy?" He asks.

"Yea.. yea I am," I say with a smile.

"I can tell, you just have this like different way about you or somethin'," He says sweetly. "It's good. It's good to see that,"

"Thank you," I smile at him and then after a few moments I say, "Well what about you? How are you?"

"Me? Pffft... still the same y'know... I mean, we're uh just finishing up recording and uh yea... I got married a couple of years ago, and have a couple of kids now..."

"Really? No way," I say happily.

"Yea, 2 girls. Megan just turned 6 and Aliyah is 5 months," Kenny chuckles with a smile.

"Awe, Kenny, that's amazing," I smile at him.

"Thank you," He smiles back at me.

"Uh, I should probably check on everything out there, see if any of the record label reps have shown up yet," I say, pushing my dark smooth locks behind my ear.

'Uh, yea, sure," Kenny says and I smile and gently touch his forearm, then step over to Dime, telling him the same thing. Dime then leans into me to embrace me in another hug, which makes me giggle.

We then let go of each other, and I finished my drink, and made my way through everyone, greeting anyone that I might have missed before. Once I am outside in the fluorescent hallway, I slowly walk down towards the backstage door, taking my phone out if my jacket pocket and checking some emails.

To be honest, it was weird. It was weird being in there with Kenny. We hadn't talked since I left him back on New Year's day in '95. I remember that feeling I felt when I broke his heart, and even though we've definitely moved on, he just brought up all those feelings of sadness and guilt. I never meant to hurt him. I just needed to get out of there.

After I gather myself, and take a deep breath, I open the backstage door and see the crowd that had gathered inside the venue. It was awesome to see just how fast the place had filled up. I wasn't sure who I would be looking for, but I was told to look out for a guy with a specific pass that he would be wearing. I made my way around the crowd sticking close to the wall of the main area, then the lights went down and the crowd began to cheer as the band climbed up on stage.

"Hey fuckers! How ya feeling tonight?" The crowd cheers as Patrick shouts into the mic. "Alright let's do this!!!!"

They immediately break into 'Breathing New Life', Vinny's drumming just crushing the entire place as the crowd goes insane. It was so cool to see everyone just going absolutely crazy. A mosh pit had already broken out with guys just slamming into each other.

As they play into the next few songs of their set, I watch from the sidelines, staying close to the wall, still scanning the crowd for the label reps. I then decide to make my way into the crowd, and I see an older gentleman with that special pass I was told about. I take in a deep breath, give myself one last internal pep talk, walk straight up to him and introduce myself with my charming sweetness that I'm known for.

"...right, right you're Mrs Lee?"

"Yes, yes I am," I say with a smile and extend my hand for him to shake.

"I'm Tom, Tom Zutaut from Elektra records,"

Oh my god, holy shit, how did...? Wait, what the fuck? I had no idea... Ok Andrea calm down, you got this.

"It's so good to finally meet you," I smile at him as he shakes my hand. I can't believe this is the same guy that signed Motley Crue, and it's even weirder that Tommy mentioned him earlier.

"You as well. So uh, you manage these guys huh?" He asks with a smile gesturing to the band as the loudness of Dime's guitar screams over the crowd.

"Yes, I do. I uh, did some temp work with Dime and Vinny years ago when they were in Pantera and uh, I used to manage - "

"Soundgarden right?"

"Yes," I giggle.

"I saw Soundgarden open for Guns N' Roses on the Use Your Illusion tour back in '92. Man, Chris Cornell is a powerhouse, and Guns N' Roses... now there's a band I'm kicking myself for," He chuckles.

"Well, I promise, you won't kick yourself if you sign Damageplan," I smile sweetly and he glances at me up and down for a moment, then looks back up at the band.

"So, you know why I'm here then?" He says with a smirk.

"Pretty much." I say, then suavley but firmly using my sweetness as best I could, I add "Look, I know you are interested in them, I mean just look at this fucking crowd. What band - an absolute balls to the wall metal band in this day and age can pull a crowd like this? I mean sure it's Dime and Vinny from Pantera, but it's Dime and Vinny from Pantera! You can just feel the fucking energy in this entire place. Now who wouldn't want that captured on a record?"

It was like I wasn't me. I suddenly switched on this whole other version of myself that was confident and determined, that knew her shit and knew that going with a major label would be amazing for Damageplan.

"Y'know, I've seen lots of women who have been involved with Tommy Lee, and let's face it, most of them were questionable... well aside from Heather. He's uh, definitely an impulsive guy - "

"Sorry, Mr. Zutaut with all do respect, this has nothing to do with my husband. Yes I manage him too, but this is my thing. I've been in this business since I was 18 years old. I know this shit inside out and backwards, and I know that if you don't sign these guys, you are going to regret it the same way you're still kicking yourself for passing on Guns N' Roses,"

He stands there in front of me as I keep my composure looking right at him, determined to make him understand that I don't need to rely on anyone to do me a favor just because of who I know or who I am married to.

Tom then gives me a smirk and with a chuckle says, "Well, now I see why he married you. You're definitely not like anyone he's ever been with,"

I keep my gaze locked to him and I could see the wheels turning in his mind. He glances back towards the band, then back at me.

"Alright, you got me," He says and extends his hand for me to shake.

Holy Shit! Holy Fucking Shit!

"Thank you," I smile sweetly, shaking his hand, then he offers me his business card and sets up a time to meet, and heads out of the main area to make a call to the label to set things in motion.

I turn back to the crowd just going insane and watching the guys up on stage doing their thing. I couldn't believe this was happening. I fucking got them a record deal. It's just so fucking crazy how I never thought that as an all out fan that I am of Dime and Vinny, how we ended up becoming friends and so close that they wanted me to be their manager, and now I got them deal. This just doesn't even seem real.

I then make my way back through the crowd, feeling so incredibly excited and I see Kenny on the far side near the backstage entrance. I couldn't help it, I needed to tell someone.

"We fuckin' did it!" I say excitedly when I reach him.

"Whoa, hey Andi - " He laughs.

"They got a deal, they got a fucking record deal!" I yelp excitedly and without even thinking about it I wrap my arms around his shoulders, embracing him in a hug and for a moment he hesitates, and then he wraps his one arm around me, while his other hand still holds his drink.

"Andi, that's amazing!" He laughs and after a few moments of us holding each other, I realize how weird this must be for him and as I pull away and look up at him, his arm still holds me, his dark eyes catching mine for just a moment.

"Uh, sorry, I shouldn't have... um" I trail off suddenly feeling like I was out of line.

"Andi, it's ok,"

"No, I should just... I need to..." I trail off again and then step away from his embrace.

"Andi!" Kenny calls for me as I flip my locks out of my face, quickly making my way to the backstage entrance. I open the door and step out into the hallway, the music echoing from the other side and I make my way down the hallway towards the dressing room.

"Andi...? Andi wait," Kenny says as the backstage door slams behind him and I turn around seeing him walk towards me. "Why'd you run away? It's just me," He chuckles as he stops in front of me.

"I know but like, we don't really know each other anymore, and I didn't mean to just jump onto you like that - "

"It's still me, I'm still the same guy, and you didn't jump on me -"

"I was just so excited and happy and Tommy isn't here and Lizzy isn't either so I didn't have anyone to share it with, and I didn't think about -"

"Andi, I said it's ok," Kenny says so sweetly to me as he stands in front of me with those same sweet dark eyes glancing over me.

"But it shouldn't be, you should still be mad at me or hate me for what I did," I say sadly, feeling the guilt creeping up after all these years.

"Andi I never hated you. Yea, you broke my heart but I never hated you. I loved you too much back then to hate you," He says and I bring myself to look into his eyes.

"I'm so fucking sorry, for everything, for leaving the way I did, for - "

"Andi stop, it's ok. I've long forgiven you for all that shit years ago. You do not need to carry around that guilt," He says, still looking into my eyes.

"Promise?" I say with a little chuckle.

"Yes," He says with a small smile and after a few moments he leans in and wraps his arms around me, embracing me and all I could feel was this incredible relief. Then he says "So are we friends now or what?"

"Yes Kenny, we're friends," I laugh.

*****

Malibu California, November 16 2002

"Delayed? Are you fuckin' serious?" Tommy says as I hold my cell to my ear.

"I'm sorry babe I know - " I say.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault, but like fuck... I just want you to come home so bad," He says and I could hear the frustration in his voice. But what he doesn't know is that my plane isn't actually delayed and I'm pulling up to our house right now.

"I know, I want to be home so bad, where I can just be with you, in our bed - "

"Oh baby don't start with that, you have no idea," He says, his voice now showing a different type of frustration and I giggle.

"I'll call you when I'm about to board ok?" I say as I glance at the cab driver through the rearview mirror, touching my finger to my lips to hush him before he can tell me the price of the fare. I quickly pay the cab and open the door, sliding out with my carry on bag and closing the door as quietly as I could hoping Tommy didn't hear the car door.

"You better, cause I'm gonna drive like a maniac to the airport to pick you up once you land," He says and I laugh as I make my way up the walkway to our house.

"I love you baby," I say as I open the door to our house.

"I love you too baby - uh, hold on a sec, I think I hear someone at the door..."

"You hear someone? Who?" I say with a sly smirk.

"What the fuck - ?" He says, hearing his voice in my cell phone and in the living room at the same time. He then appears in the doorway of the living room, the phone still to his ear, the natural light of the early afternoon sun making his nose ring sparkle and wearing nothing but just his red Adidas tear away track pants, showing off his impressive and gorgeous tattoos.

"No fuckin' way," He says and drops the phone to the floor as I drop my bag and he quickly rushes to me, lifting me up while I let out a squeal of laughter.

"Jeezus fuckin' Christ, I fuckin' missed you," He says excitedly through clenched teeth as I wrap my arms around him, his lips pressed to my neck, then my throat, to my earlobe, then my jawline, making me laugh and loving every second of it.

"I missed you too baby," I sigh, closing my eyes, threading my fingers through his thick dark locks and pressing my lips to his, devouring him, sucking his bottom lip. Then without wasting anymore time, he carries me over to the stairs

"Baby - " I say against his lips.

"Shhh no talk... sex... now," He says in between his kisses making me laugh as he carries me to our bedroom.

#tommy lee #tommy lee fanfic #motley crue #motley crue fanfiction #kenny hickey #kenny hickey fanfiction #type o negative #type o negative fanfiction #terror twins #dimebag darrell #damageplan #pantera

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