#VI MAKES SO FEW DECISIONS IN THIS SHOW? WHERE IS HER AGENCY?????

[passionatememes]

ok i finished my rewatch and i could fill a goddamn book with the writing choices in arcane that piss me off hooooooooooly shit you guys

i fully believe that the first three episodes of arcane are maybe the best written tragedy in tv ever

[earthytzipi]

I actually loved the writing of caitvi this season for a few reasons:

1. I was very fortunate to meet and consistently date my lovely wife. Having observed other adult lesbians... that shit is MESSY. It's so so so so so common for lesbians to date, break up, date again, break up again, accuse each other of abuse or of being toxic, then date again, break up another time, date another person in the friend group, and so on and so forth. This season felt very honest to me in that way. If everything had been smooth sailing for Caitlyn and Vi, I don't think I would have bought it, especially with all the conflict they set up in s1. I agree that Caitlyn is toxic to Vi in Act 1. I just also don't think that's a deal-breaker for an adult relationship as long as amends are made, and I think that Cait's decision to let Vi release Jinx is a HUGE way that she made amends. I don't think she needed to grovel (nor would that have fit her character)- it demonstrated SO much character growth for her and so much trust in, and love for, Vi.

2. I've seen a lot of displeasure with Vi's writing this season, mostly centered around Vi's loss of agency and relative passivity. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, so, you know, grain of salt. It's just that, in my experience with trauma, you hit a breaking point where nothing matters to you anymore. You can't be resilient anymore. You've lost everything and you're grieving literally everything about the life you thought you had. (For the record, my trauma didn't even involve anyone dying, just abusive friendships, people cutting me off, and conversion therapy, and I *still* got there in my early 20s.) Vi shows a remarkable ability to push forward for Powder in s1, but by the first episode of s2, her resiliency is already breaking down. To me, it made complete sense that she showed more and more passivity and alcoholism as the season went on.

I think there's a misconception that trauma causes people to become strong. That is NOT what it does. It builds these insidious negative pathways of thought in your mind that wear you down over time. Eventually, it's too much. You can't take anything in stride. Everything becomes part of this pattern of hurt.

I think Jinx firing that missile was the breaking point for Vi. She lost her parents, she lost Vander, she lost her formative teenage years to prison, and the only reason she was still going at all was for Powder. That moment is the moment she decided Powder was gone, too. Imagine the grief of losing the last person you thought you had from your old life and not even being able to share that, because that person just killed a lot of people. In that light, the decision to join with the person who still cares about her and has been there for her makes sense, even though she hates the enforcers. I think that decision causes her a lot of pain and self-hatred which is reinforced when Cait leaves her, pushing her into the absolute pit of her trauma. Then all the events at the commune happen. Throughout the season she gains and loses hope about Jinx again and again, but when she's in that prison cell, from her point of view, she's just lost Jinx all over again after finally having her back for a while, and now Caitlyn, who she loves, for good.

In the end, when Cait says she engineered the whole thing to let Jinx escape? She gives Vi hope again in that moment. If Jinx isn't tried, she's still out there and Vi can still find her and try again. If Cait knew she would let Jinx escape and still be there for her, Cait still loves her more than she cares about revenge. Given how Cait almost killed a child to get to Jinx before, I think for Vi, this represents almost a complete 180 and demonstrates that Cait is sorry. I think their actions in that moment make perfect sense.

Anyways! To me, while I think s2 was definitely rushed as hell and had some other pacing issues, I loved the storyline for Cait and Vi.

[thomas-jefferson-miku-binder]

Dying to know your thoughts on arcane season 2 act 2 (and how you think they handled orianna specifically) ^-^ take your time though and I hope you feel better soon

I talked a little bit about it on Twitter because I use that place as a sketchbook for most meta posts I write.

I... actually did not vibe with the Orianna moment. In a show where so much happens in so little time (and especially in Act 2), the whole thing just felt like taking up minutes that could’ve been used to shed a little more light into whatever the fuck is going on with the Hexcore, which is a point I'll be circling back to later.

I don't think Singed’s character asks for that deep explanation of why he does things the way he does, even if I appreciate his writing and lines. That whole moment felt like This Is League of Legends and Arcane-canon bullshit and “we need to tie everything into lol lore”. And it kills me because I'm sure this wouldn't be a problem if they didn't make Arcane the main canon universe.

Going back to the Hexcore, a thing that really bothered me was Act 2’s lack of storytelling clarity regarding Viktor. We leave Act 1 with the understanding that there’s something going on with Hextech and that whatever is influencing Viktor has a deeper, more sinister intent. This shows in how he handles his and Jayce's relationship, the effects over his voice lines during their conversation ("It was affection that held us together"), the way the anomaly behaves during EP3's showdown, and Sky's role in all of it. To me, in Act 1, it's implied that the Sky Viktor sees throughout his journey in the underground and how it behaves wasn't in fact Sky, but something using her skin to guide Viktor using a familiar form (a form which coincidently provokes in him a lot of guilt) for its own purposes. I thought showing Sky without her glasses was a really clever way to also convey that, stripping her of what made her human, showing there's something off.

And we get to Act 2, especially EP 6, and I'm beyond confused. The space sequences show Viktor talking and acting like he did before the events of Season 2. He looks like he previously did. He sounds like he previously did. And then they show Sky! Just behaving like a person! No more sinister undertone, no more just despersonified screams of agony from her dying moments to guide Viktor. And I'm so confused about what they're trying to tell me! And it's not the good confusing feeling you sometimes get from art, it's the "I think you fucked up whatever message you were trying to convey".

I know that the Arcane is written to be fucked up. Evil horrors beyond our comprehension is the point, I know that. Most people know that. But the space scenes did not seem to know that at all! All the wariness and tension and lack of agency were just… gone. Idk

And I can't even bring myself to be mad at the "Jayce ruined everything" people because for once I do think it was a failure in the writing depart. It facilitates this type of interpretation 👎👎👎 (this tweet has 20k+ likes)

Not exactly knowing what drove Jayce to act like that is killing me inside, also. They're obviously planning on doing some alternate dimension, multiverse, time-travel-ish thing ("I won't fail"), which scares me on its own merit, but merely knowing something happened isn't as sufficient as I myself thought it would be. I feel like it’s one of the few moments where Arcane’s wait-a-week Act structure backfired because not knowing his process takes A Lot from it.

I tend to really enjoy Arcane’s type of storytelling where not everything is acted out, leaving space for you 🫵 the viewer to fill in those gaps (for example, the enforcer Vi scenes). It's why I like League of Legends in general and Star Trek TOS. Enough is shown for it to feel satisfying but it still invites you as a spectator to participate in this story. I do think, however, that Jayce's major decision change should have been explained a bit further.

And yeah I complained a lot, but I loved a lot about it as well. All the Jinx scenes, the Warwick plot, Vi, Isha, Sevika, Mel, Leblanc... that was all insane in the best ways possible. I have some thoughts on Act 2 Cait but that will gain its own separate post

[funnyscienceman]

one thing before i forget, i know for sure im in the extreme extreme minority for this, but imo not only was s1 not as much of a masterpiece as people hailed it to be — it didn't even feel like it was about the sisters? Like, vi and jinx?

I remember giving the show a shot because hey, i hear it's about the relationship between two sisters on opposite sides of a war. Siblinghood! Everything complicated about it! I have siblings and it can be hell, i've heard only good things about this show, let's see what it's all about!

And it's. not. about the sisters. Yeah sure Vi is our POV for most of the episodes but the story felt like it was more about Jinx than it was about Vi and Jinx. Does that make sense?

Like the whole story takes place over the course of… what a few days? Maybe two to three, even? Act 1 was perfect as a story about two sisters being torn apart, but everything after is Vi just getting out of prison, having to process so many things at once, look for her sister, try and fail not to say anything to set her off because how could she know to begin with, she got imprisoned at like 15 and only just got here. She's given no time to really take everything in and say/make fully informed decisions or word choices, and Jinx just blows up about it.

"I thought you could love me like you used to, even though I'm different. But you changed too. So here's to the new us."

Like !?!?!!?!?? SHE JUST GOT HERE!?!??? Then jinx just blows up the council and oh that's the show over i guess.

The sisters had maybe like two minutes of conversation before the dinner party. Before the bridge even! Vi is trying to drag caitlyn to safety and jinx shoots her for 'replacing her' and the show gives JINX the angsty sting song???

I dunno if im even making sense anymore. i guess when i heard people say it was about the sisters, there'd be more… back and forth??? Some reciprocity here?? An equal share and value of screentime???? But no jinx invades the story, jinx ends the show and subsequently everyone else's much more compelling stories, jinx is the face of all the marketing and gets to be the sad broken one who just needed her enabling shitty clingy dad to justify her existence and she's perfect, actually. She doesn't need to change at all. You'd think this was some dramatic irony thing where the viewer's meant to be like oh this is someone who needs help but doesnt want it- no. No, the writers think Vi is the crazy one, actually. Vi who hasnt had two seconds to breathe. Vi who gets tossed around by the plot and everyone else's decisions, doesnt get to have the agency and character she had in act 1. Jesus holy fucking christ i hate yee overton and linke

[mononijikayu]

id like to add that this is very forgetful of the central theme of the story and the writers and directors of the show are very guilty of this - they robbed us of the IMPORTANCE OF FEMALE AGENCY. this story of the dance and the whole story in general was based on a time period where women were not visibly authoritative BUT this era of empress matilda to elizabeth of york, maybe even as far as elizabeth i, was a period of women finding how to have a say in the way they lived through clever manuevers and involvement in court politics. it was women picking and choosing royal favorites up and down the chain of nobility to acquire allies, resources and swords. these women were well educated and cultured, who saw their owm mothers be regents, managers of the household, the very life of the family and grew up to want to be more than just pawns in high stakes diplomacy or be the consequence of some peace treaty.

none of the hotd writers DO THEIR RESEARCH. while women were stuck in a position of misfortune, it didnt mean they didnt try hard to escape it. many successfully did and grrm incorporated them into the story. he gave some of them to baela and rhaena. they could easily be based on the willful and bright sisters of king edward vi - mary i and elizabeth i who had their own knowledge of politics, language, managing households and even ruling as heirs to their father and brother. hell, they could even be margaret of york, duchess of burgundy (sister to edward iv) and cecily of york (sister of elizabeth of york).

and also, baela and rhaena becoming queen and lady of the tides is the best damn position they could get. as the line of succession places them further, their real shot is a really good royal marrisge. daughters go before uncles in line of succession, so daemon's baela and rhaena would end up behind rhaenyra's female led bloodline - herself, her sons with laenor and then her sons with daemon and then their daughter visenya had she lived.

baela and rhaena would be behind them all, and that doesnt even include if you put alicent's eldest son, grandsons, grandaughter, her other sons and then daughter. because the children of the king would go before his younger brother and his daughters.

thats why laena and rhaenyra arranged the marriage a few years before she passed. baela being queen consort could usher a revival of a type of queenship that hasnt been seen since rhaenys and visenya. jace would be a pro-active king who probably will like to see how his people lives, so he would continue the tradition of aegon i's royal processions. he would leave the rulership to baela, administratively as his representative and rule on his behalf. its been done before by various kings, including by richard lionheart who named his mother regent while he was on crusade. jace would do the same, but with baela doing much of the administration and household and managing of royal residences.

rhaena would go through relatively the same. her future husband is heir to driftmark, sest of one of the richest houses, seat to the wealthiest trading port across the narrow sea AND has the largest unrivalled fleet in westeros. her power would be unmatched because she was not only going to serve as regent when lucerys was on voyages and royal business, rhaena also has access to wealth of house velaryon at her own leisure and the best of what the east and west trade has to offer. literally, rhaena would be one of the rich madonna of florence or venice, hell even a wife of a rich dutch sailor and tradesman. and she was to be his partner. rhaena screams margaret of burgundy as well, being a widowed dowager wielding IMMENSE power over burgundian sea trade and political decisions.

i need people to go through history because the moment they make really flawed judgement about the characters, it harms why the story is important in the first place. this was a feminist story at a time where women didnt even know what feminism was or thst they had a right to be more than what men told them they were. these women did not know it but they spearheaded a revolution against the toiling of men, even when they didnt mean to. but the modern peripheral could not grasp that the wonder of this is the layers of bravery, boldness and cunning women were endowed with and fought with just to have the right to say what they wanted, to live as they wanted - to exist as they wish.

its such a shame because we had the potential to revolutionize the portrayal of medieval women as more than being victims. it was an opportunity to represent them as woman who were the minority, women who were the exemption - fight back against a patriarchy which has long controlled their life. thye just wanted to be heard, evil or good, wise and shrewd. loving and horrid. what mattered was that women had agency and women wanted to maintain it whatever the cost. because in the end, they cant expect men to fight the battles for them without consequence, right???

What do you think of this?

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/dulcewrites/715272275441729537

I am just going to transcribe what the person wrote, bc I don't want to go back and forth for this:

I have random Baela and Rhaena thoughts. This is probably discombobulated lmao 😭

As much as I am looking forward to (and very much hoping for) more scenes/lines for rhaena and baela, it is personally going to be so… bittersweet (??) to watch them be involved in a war where imo they gain nothing by Rhaenyra winning. And knowing how reading seems to not be fundemental in this fandom, no this is not me saying it would make sense for them to fight for team green. Though if Alicent followed through on what she said to Rhaenys, they’d have driftmark but that’s neither here nor there I guess.

Especially if we go strictly by show canon. They are THEE dragon twins essentially offered up to legitimized two boys bc that’s all Rhaenyra has at that moment (before viserys swoops in again). She tried with Alicent, who shot her down knowing that Helaena, Dreamfyre, and possible children she would have with Jace would be used as leverage.

I would get it more if it was for family reasons or even personal ambitions (Baela being queen. Though her children would quite literally be put in the same position Rhaenyra’s kids are. If they even got that far💀). But imo nothing in the show depicts that. They try to show them having some sort of affection with Luke and Jace; still don’t know if that is romantic or sibling wise. Either way, I’m supposed to believe it’s enough?? If the fight is for Rhaenyra, they did a bad job showing that too and frankly it would not make sense. If it is for daemon that’s… a choice.

Something about Baela being ‘just like daemon’ but sitting and smiling nicely while Rhaenyra takes her birthright just kind of makes me laugh 😭. Like I said, I could possibly understand this decision if we got shades of Baela wanting to be queen. She seems pretty devoted to her grandmother and wards at Driftmark, it is just hard for me to think she in particular would be over the moon about Luke being lord of the tides. Regardless of if she sees him as family or not.

I am someone who will always advocate for more women on the show, especially women from a different social/economic background from the noble ones we got in s1. So if they choose to make Sara Snow a real person, there won’t be any real qualms out of me about it (unless they write her weird lol). But ngl it will be hard watching Baela fight, quite literally, while jace is away possibly falling in love and Rhaenyra sits on her butt at dragonstone. And daemon is away grooming another young girl???

Like who and what are they fighting for!!!

Oh, don’t even get me started on how Rhaena gets absolutely nothing out of this, and honestly nothing from the people who are supposed to take care of her. I just think they both got the short end of the stick, at least during the war. Which I guess is the point of it all. Casualties and people going through strife for a stupid throne but yeah.. I’m just kind of eh about watching that unfold.

Answers

A)

I already stated several times that DaemonxNettles isn't a thing and Daemon never groomed that girl. People can check out the stuff I have tagged as "daemon and nettles", click this link, or click this for a very specific post about it.

B)

Them: "Though her children would quite literally be put in the same position Rhaenyra’s kids are. "

No, they wouldn't. How would they...if the greens were sent to the Wall, executed, etc.? How ridiculous.

...I don't understand how Baela and Rhaena wouldn't win by becoming a Queen and a Lady of a major house respectively. Ain't no way.....Why does this person think Margaery Tyrell, Cersei Lannister Arianne Martell, and Rhaenyra herself ALL want to be some sort of Queen or woman-in-charge-with-highest-social-station?!

There are real sociopolitical benefits to being a Lady of a great house and a damn Queen Consort! That is the entire point of feudalist political marriages!

They say this: "And knowing how reading seems to not be fundemental in this fandom, no this is not me saying it would make sense for them to fight for team green. Though if Alicent followed through on what she said to Rhaenys, they’d have driftmark but that’s neither here nor there I guess."

Yet the second sentence is telling us that Alicent would have given Driftmark to the girls if they had just changed teams or acquiesced to the greens' terms...which is still giving up the black cause/rhaenyra's cause. So in order to get the house that Rhaenys, Viserys, and Corlsy all already give Rhaena and her future kids with Luke....the girls have to be handed their already-assured inheritances by those who are seeking to make them and those they lived with as family members for 6 years hostage...Cuz that's what Otto is doing: trying to make these girls hostages and limit their options so they, Daemon, and Rhaenyra can't retaliate in fear of these girls and these girls' parents' lives...If any of them were to just give up!

The other thing is that, once again, Corlys is the one to have made the arrangement with Viserys concerning who will inherit and marry who. not Rhaenyra, who is merely following their directive and wishes that also benefit the two girls mentioned!

You know, perhaps it's because of the jump cut and HotD's terrible writing limiting how much screentime each actor gets to show emotion, and how we the audience do not actually witness how Rhaenyra's family became a family after she and Daemon marry (Spoiler alert, it is!). jeynearrynofthevale writes this about one thing the show should have done:

Spend way more time on court politics and the buildup of the dance. Show why the two sides are falling the way they do and establish the core issues at play. Spend some more time establishing the characters before time jumps. Maybe give Rhaenyra motivation for ruling in terms of what she wants to do. Have her and Alicent navigate around each other in court.

the reason why it feels like Baela seems placid or uninterested is not because she is emotionally distant from her own family, but because these writers aren't worth their salt. the Jump cut robbed us all.

You don't even need to have read any ASoIaF book to understand any of this. how could one not know that being Queen Consort is a coveted and sociopolitically advantageous position?!

C)

There is absolutely no proof that Sara Snow existed. Absolutely none. the only thing we ever hear about this girl is from Mushroom...who never was in the North with Jace! So how the hell does he know this girl exists, much less what Jaecerys did or didn't do with her?!

Mind you, this is the same person who inspired the idea that Daemon fucked Nettles:

Mushroom [who was not at Maidenpool] would have us believe it was not. By the dwarf’s account, Daemon Targaryen had come to love the small brown bastard girl, and had taken her into his bed.

("Rhaenyra Triumphant")

If the writers dare to make Sara Snow a thing, and if this writer is that concerned about Baela fighting while Jace cheats on her, they should know that if they make SS a real person and have Jace cheat with her it's all bullshit just to add "spice" and be provocative. Just as Mushroom does and what they did with Rhaenys coming out of the floor in epi 9.

D)

IF Rhaenyra is going to just "sit on her butt" because SHE JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A BABY!!!

and because it is already common and expected for the leader of the side to be like the king piece of chess: little moves to limit the opportunities for the other side to injure/kill them.

I don't know if I want these posts anymore...I've gone down some crazy rabbit holes.

E) *Look to comments/reblogs for mononijikayu's description of how this also reveals the HotD's lack of knowledge and perspective about medieval woman's acts towards gaining and using power*

Excerpts:

1.

and also, baela and rhaena becoming queen and lady of the tides is the best damn position they could get. as the line of succession places them further, their real shot is a really good royal marrisge. daughters go before uncles in line of succession, so daemon's baela and rhaena would end up behind rhaenyra's female led bloodline - herself, her sons with laenor and then her sons with daemon and then their daughter visenya had she lived.

2.

thats why laena and rhaenyra arranged the marriage a few years before she passed. baela being queen consort could usher a revival of a type of queenship that hasnt been seen since rhaenys and visenya. jace would be a pro-active king who probably will like to see how his people lives, so he would continue the tradition of aegon i's royal processions. he would leave the rulership to baela, administratively as his representative and rule on his behalf. its been done before by various kings, including by richard lionheart who named his mother regent while he was on crusade. jace would do the same, but with baela doing much of the administration and household and managing of royal residences.

[dreamofcentipedes]

The Wedding of Haruhi Suzumiya

Summary: Suzumiya Haruhi is getting married. Time has gone by so quickly, and yet, all of a sudden, it appears to stop. It seems Kyon can't get a day off, even on his wedding day!

Fandom: The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya

Ship: Kyon/Haruhi

Characters: Kyon, Haruhi, Nagato, Mikuru, Koizumi, Taniguchi, Kunikida, Tsuruya, Kyon’s Little Sister.

Rating: Teen Words: 10,578 Link to AO3

A/N: This is a present for my wonderful friend @harleyquilt’s birthday! I'm glad I introduced you to the series so I could have an excuse to write this fic hahaha. It's written in the style of the novels, so from Kyon's first person POV. 

To anyone who's not Leila, this fic is based on anime-only canon; so that's why characters like Kimidori aren't here since she's not very relevant in the show. Enjoy!

Something was wrong. I felt it in my gut.

Ah, allow me to clarify. It was not the kind of odd feeling one might feel when forced to repeat summer over fifteen thousand times because of the oddly conscientious whims of a typically self-centred high school girl. I won’t force you all through that again – so long as Haruhi doesn’t force me to. Hey, if I suffer, you suffer! That’s the compensation I’ve earned from you, universe, for all my sterling efforts to save you. I may have admitted I enjoy a good deal of what Haruhi forces me into, but stuff like an endless summer is just too much. Today, at least, should be free of the kind of chaotic events that follow Haruhi around like the Duke of Buckingham to King James I of England (and VI of Scotland).

Or so Koizumi says. Which brings me back to the problem at hand. Or that is, the problem of the minute hand. On the clock that stared down at me from the wall like a Great Old One about to nonchalantly crush swarms of insignificant humans underfoot, I saw that there was only half an hour remaining until the ceremony.

“The Agency extends their full gratitude to you for what you’re doing today. If it all goes well, we won’t have to worry about Closed Space appearing for a few months at the very least.” Koizumi brushed some non-existent lint off his light grey suit and patted down his yellow silk tie. Smart and snazzy as always. He better not outshine me at my own wedding.

“I think you have an overly optimistic view on marriage. And on Haruhi, for that matter. Her temper will blow at my first sign of disobedience.”

“You think so? I hoped you’d know your fiancé better than that. To Suzumiya-san, you are an exceptionally important person. It will be hard to dent her good mood after all these years of holding back.”

I didn’t say anything back, but as I adjusted my red tie over my blue suit in an outfit reminiscent of my old High School uniform, I thought about what he said. I hoped he was right, and not for the sake of the world or reality or whatever other annoying stuff he cares about. Haruhi’s smiling face was just a pleasant sight for me to see, that’s all. It’s not like I was marrying her because the Agency wanted me to. I barely even know those guys.

“I’m sure Nagato-san and Asahina-san will also extend you their appreciation at the reception. On behalf of their organisations, that is.”

I had some idea of what he was talking about with that clarification. I did worry about those two, but I had made my decision and didn’t have any regrets. At least where that matter is concerned. Otherwise, there was still that ball of anxiety in my chest wrapped up like a mangled slinky.

Ah, we really did get sidetracked, didn’t we? Yes, this is the odd feeling that was haunting me. Wedding jitters, cold feet, spineless hesitation from the latest generation of worthless men – call it what you like, I could barely keep my hands still as I fussed endlessly over the tightness of my tie. That’s what I hoped it was, anyway, but I had the sinking feeling it was something more than that, and worse, that I knew what it was. I desperately needed someone to talk me, but Haruhi had somehow managed to hijack my own Best Man, so Koizumi served as my substitute. Creepy as he was, he was at least a calm presence. Taniguchi would send me insane.

Of course, I couldn’t tell him I was nervous. It would be a cold day in hell before I admitted weakness in front of him. He was an annoyingly observant guy, though.

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

His voice slipped into a more serious tone. I left the mirror alone at that and turned to face him. Watchful brown eyes peeked out from his usual squint.

“Of course I am.” I grumbled.

Koizumi gave a smile that seemed a little sad, then clapped a hand on my shoulder.

“Then see it through.”

With that, he gestured to the door.

“Well, being the joyous occasion that it is for Suzumiya-san, I doubt any strange phenomena will occur. But the job of an esper is never over. I will be patrolling the grounds for anything that seems out of place. I hope you’ll survive without me until then.”

As he was turning the handle, I felt a strange mix of frustration and sadness rise up in me. To any shrinks in the area, I’d like to get this checked out, please. But whatever it was, it made me call out to him: “You’ll be at the ceremony, won’t you?”

His hand let go of the doorknob and he looked at me, surprised.

“You’re a member of the SOS Brigade, after all.” I continued. “If you’re not there, Haruhi would be devastated. Then the world would really be in danger.”

He lowered his eyes and that sad smile crept up again. I decided, compared with this, I’d prefer that sickeningly sweet smile he usually plasters on his face. But before long he turned his eyes back to me with a slightly more jovial expression.

“You may be right. I’ll do my best if you do yours.”

He opened the door and left the room, leaving me alone with my unsatisfactory tie. What’s more, that clock was staring at me again, with only half an hour to go. Hey, cut it out. You’re not my Best Man, are you? Actually, where was my Best Man?

Well, since the wedding was Western-style it was a bit less of a pain to prepare for than Japanese-style weddings, but I still found myself combing my hair in five different directions. Eventually I got tired of it and set off to find my AWOL assistant. As I traversed the corridors, I noticed the legs and torso of someone in a black suit and tie making his way down the stairs. It was silly of me to hope for the best, but instead it was Taniguchi.

“Kyon my man! I’ve been looking for you all over!”

“Well, I was looking for Kunikida. Seen him anywhere?”

“Nope, not even once! What an unreliable guy! It’s not too late to change Best Men, you know.” He gave a grin that made me want to punch him on the nose.

“Really? I’ll let Koizumi know, then.”

Taniguchi looked aghast. “Koizumi? That creepazoid? You’d pick him over me, your constant buddy over three years of high school and four years of university?”

Like radioactive waste, I couldn’t ethically get rid of him. Well, maybe I did have some fun times with him around. It was much more enjoyable to not let him know that, though. When I didn’t respond, he acted hurt.

“Hmph! Well, I can’t see why you’d resign yourself to a lifetime chained to a girl like that anyway!” He raised his hands and shook his head with an insufferably smug expression. “Aah, she has you well and truly whipped, doesn’t she? Forcing you to flush your youth away down the toilet of the marriage bed.”

Ignoring that his metaphor was painfully inconsistent, I just asked him whether he’d gotten a girlfriend yet. He quickly shut up with an expression like Aeschylus must have had when he was mortally wounded by an airborne tortoise.

“Speaking of, Kyon,” he asked me when he had recovered, sidling up to me like a drug dealer in a black-and-white film noir and whispering to me, “You two have…done it, right?”

I pushed his face away from my ear. There was a 20% chance I was blushing. No, 10%. 5% tops! But if any such out-of-character situation was occurring, I didn’t want Taniguchi to see it. He probably did anyway.

“You have!” He laughed. “You totally have! Oh man, oh man, oh man, OH MAN!”

Haruhi and I had been dating since our last year of high school, so I don’t know why he was so surprised. What, did he seriously think the woman who had sexually assaulted Asahina-san on a daily basis was the type to save herself for marriage? This guy was purer than I thought. I placed a hand on his shoulder in sympathy.

“Uh, what’s this about?” Taniguchi brushed it off sheepishly. “So? She’s into some weird stuff, right? Does she make you do dress-up?”

Everything about his tone and expression was cringe-inducing.  Just when I was resigning myself to indulge this overgrown 14 year old with the rudimentals of my sex life as the only alternative to my anxiety, I was saved by a benevolent god called Kunikida.

“Ah, Kyon, I’m so sorry!” He was red-faced and out of breath, rushing down the stairs as fast as he could while carrying about five bags with him. He came to a halt in front of me and dropped them to the ground, panting heavily. It’s a good thing he was wearing black, because otherwise the growing pools of sweat under his armpits might be much more obvious.

“Hmm, look who finally decided to show up!” Taniguchi remarked jealously.

“Taniguchi, zip it. It’s fine, Kunikida. What does she want this time?”

Kunikida returned to a stable condition and raised his head. “She wants to know which ribbon you’d like best.”

I shook my head with the fond exasperation that girl always exerts in me. Yare yare. Isn’t the bride’s appearance supposed to be a surprise for the groom? Nagato might be useless in the fashion department, but couldn’t she rely on Asahina-san and Tsuruya-san’s advice a bit more? Even my sister, another of my comrades she’d hijacked, had started to become fashion conscious. But Haruhi’s never coped with uncertainty too well. I decided I might as well have a look, lest her stress blow a hole in the fabric of the cosmos.

There was a red one, a blue one with black stripes, a purple one, orange with polka dots…I didn’t know why they each needed their own separate bags. But the choice was a pretty easy one for me. It was just too nostalgic.

“Let’s go with yellow.” I told Kunikida.

He nodded with approval. “I thought you’d pick that one. It’s just like the one she wore back at North High. I told her that, but she made me check with you anyway.” He pouted. “Well, I’ll report back then.”

“Oi, Kunikida.”

“Hm?”

“Any more tyrannical demands Haruhi makes of you, refuse them.” Kunikida paled. “Just tell her it’s a direct order from the groom. I’ll take the heat. For now, I need you to help get me ready.”

Kunikida nodded, told me he wouldn’t be long, and disappeared up the stairs. I imagined the chaos that must be happening up there, the hell Haruhi must be putting all her poor bridesmaids and even my Best Man through. I imagined Haruhi in her bridal dress, with that yellow ribbon in her hair…and my stomach knotted again as other thoughts rushed through my head in concert. I felt so dizzy I thought I might fall over. Steadying myself with a strong exhale, I grabbed Taniguchi’s sleeve.

“Move it, Taniguchi. I need a substitute until Kunikida gets back.”

I needed some company, any company, even if just to make sure I didn’t fall over and ruin my meticulously pressed suit. Taniguchi seemed pretty ecstatic about it, though, so I didn’t tell him that last part. We moved into my dressing room.

I was reaching for the comb on the side of my desk when I noticed that accursed clock again. ‘Accursed’. Only then did I begin to realise just how accurate that description truly was.

Because only half an hour remained until the ceremony.

“Hm?”

I stared at the clock, wondering if I misread it. But no, the hands didn’t lie. It wasn’t broken, either: the second hand was happily ticking away, and the minute hand slowly moving with it.

“Hey Kyon, earth to Kyon. You still with us man?”

I turned to the bemused Taniguchi, then looked back at the clock. When I did, I saw something that made that ‘wrong’ feeling that had been ruthlessly assaulting my small intestine level up at least twice, with major boosts to its ATK, DEF, and SPD. Because although the second hand was now ticking down from the top of the clock, the minute hand had returned to exactly half past 2.

Despite all the conversations and activities I had gotten up to since the clock had struck that time, despite all the time that had seemingly passed – somehow, it was still exactly half an hour until I married Haruhi.

I prayed for the sake of my already trembling heart that it was just a broken clock. But when I snatched my phone off the counter, I saw the exact same time glaring at me: 14:30.

I crammed my phone back into my pocket with frustration. Koizumi! No strange phenomena, he said, as though I could trust him. One day that guy’s going to get a career peddling snake oil. Dammit! This was the last thing I needed today! I slammed my hands against the counter and stared at the clock.

“Hey, Kyon, aren’t you gonna – ”

“Shut it, Taniguchi.”

Thankfully, he did. I looked at the clock, allowed a few seconds to pass, looked away, then immediately looked back. The seconds had reset.

I rubbed my sweating temples with my equally clammy hands.

“Taniguchi, I need you to do me a favour.”

“Huh? Sure! You can always count on – ”

“Hold my eyes open for me.”

“Wha?” He was clearly taken aback. “Uh, Kyon, you feeling okay?”

“Groom’s orders.”

He sighed, muttering something about me being as crazy as Haruhi, before I experienced the highly unpleasant sensation of Taniguchi lifting my eyelids up. I stared intently at the clock.

My stinging eyes, desperate to blink, beheld a full minute passing before I told Taniguchi it was enough and rushed to sink my eyes back into peaceful oblivion, like a salaryman collapsing in his bed after a particularly nasty overtime shift. When I opened them again, 2:31 was no more, and 2:30 was back with an insufferable grin on its clock face. Stop looking at me like that, arsehole. I’ll break your hands.

I exhaled. I guess it couldn’t be helped. I knew what I was getting myself into when I proposed to Haruhi, and honestly, at any other time I might look forward to this kind of sci-fi event. But Haruhi, could you really not hold off on the day of our wedding, at the very least?!

No, maybe that’s too hasty. I’ve always been too quick to point the finger at my fiancé in the past, but in my defence, if you’re in a room with a known thief and something goes missing, who else are you going to accuse? But I should stick with what I know: that the moment I take my eyes off the time, it resets to 2:30, with all the events that have happened since then left unchanged.

“Taniguchi, notice anything?”

“Huh? Notice what?” He looked so confused I almost felt sorry for him. “What are you going on about, Kyon?”

So Taniguchi hadn’t realised anything was wrong. He wasn’t looking for anything suspicious, so it makes sense. That, and he’s an idiot. In any case, it saved me a headache-inducing explanation about a problem I hardly understood myself.

Right, there was nothing left for it then.

“Oh, dang! Taniguchi, I forgot my cufflinks!”

“Eh? But you’re wearing them right now…”

“No no no, these are just my temporary cufflinks. Koizumi should be bringing me my real cufflinks – could you ask around if anyone’s seen him?”

“Haah? Temporary cufflinks? Why are you wearing temporary cufflinks?”

“No time to explain, I need them right now. There’s only half an hour to go you know! Think you could be my Best Man for a while?”

Taniguchi perked up at that. “Ah…well…”

“I’m counting on you!” I gave him a thumbs up and sprinted out of the room, leaving a baffled Taniguchi looking this way and that. He’ll play along in the end, he always does. Let it not be said that I haven’t learnt anything during my time in the SOS Brigade. Seven years’ experience of lying through your teeth counts as a transferrable skill, right? I doubt I’ll get to put it on my CV, anyhow.

My mood darkened as the thought crossed through my mind. What, we’re making jokes about this, now? I furrowed my brow as I ran up the stairs. Really, just how irresponsible could I be…

With my eyes fixed on the ground, I didn’t notice the sudden appearance of a wild Kunikida at the top of the stairs. His sudden “Hey, Kyon!” wasn’t enough to stop me from slamming into him. He managed to keep his balance, but my knees hit  landing. First of all, ouch; but much more importantly I hoped my suit wasn’t crumpled.

“Kyon, are you okay? What’s the hurry?”

“Ah…my bad, Kunikida. I just needed to see Nagato and Asahina-san.” I told him, standing up and zealously cleaning my suit legs like a medieval Catholic priest with a supposed segment of the Holy Cross. If Taniguchi could summon Koizumi, and I could get to Nagato and Asahina-san, at least one of them should be able to help me skip to the end of this poorly-timed adventure.

“Eh? But they’re with Suzumiya-san, you know?” He was shaking like a leaf. I was really starting to wonder what kind of torture Haruhi was putting him through.

“That’s fine. Like I said, I can take the heat.”

“Eh? That’s not the problem!” Kunikida objected. “The groom can’t see the bride before the ceremony, it’s bad luck!”

Could I really be having worse luck than I was having now? Actually, wait, this is Haruhi we’re talking about. If she thinks I’ll get bad luck, I probably will. I sighed.

“Could you get them for me, then? It really is urgent.”

Kunikida looked at me with the confused expression I had become so used to as a member of the SOS Brigade.

“Okay, if you say so…”

“Sorry to make you keep walking up and down these stairs.”

Kunikida proceeded at an annoyingly leisurely pace. I wanted to yell at him to get a move on, but when I thought about it, there really wasn’t any need to hurry at all. Time wasn’t moving. Or, it was, but in a way that it wasn’t. Well, I didn’t need an explanation, just a resolution, but I still felt kind of stupid for running all that way and messing up my clothes.

After what felt like a few minutes but what was, in actuality, no time at all, Kunikida reappeared with Nagato in tow. She had on a sleeveless light purple dress with an interesting shading pattern. It suited her pretty well, so I’m sure she had nothing to do with its selection.

“Ah, thanks Kunikida, Nagato.” But something was missing from this picture. “Where’s Asahina-san?”

Kunikida opened his mouth, but Nagato pointed wordlessly up the stairs.

“She’s still upstairs? Why?”

“Leaving Suzumiya Haruhi alone with the girl Tsuruya and your sibling…” Nagato stared at the ground, probably recalibrating. “…Dangerous.”

Couldn’t argue with that. Actually, yes I could. All due respect to our valued members of staff who might fall victim to that tyrannical trio, but I’m first in line for compensation! Move along! Just then, as if as a counter-argument, I heard a high-pitched wail echo from the upper floor followed by a string of indecipherable yelling.

Well, now I knew I was right – far more dangerous than leaving them alone was leaving Asahina-san alone with them! I held back my oncoming migraine and begged Kunikida to go and save her.

“B-but…they’re…I’ll…”

“Groom’s orders!”

I’m pretty sure it’s not a rule that the word of the groom is absolute during his wedding. But for some reason, whenever I said it, it worked, so I wasn’t going to quit now. Kunikida meekly jogged up the stairs, surely getting a pretty good workout by this point.

Well, besides rescuing Asahina-san it also got Kunikida out of the way for me to ask Nagato what exactly was going on.

She stared at me for a few seconds. “It is your wedding.”

Uh, no Nagato – I mean yes, but that’s beside the point. I showed her the time on my phone and gave her a brief rundown of the situation as I understood it.

She stared at me for another few seconds. “You are referring to the chrono-shift?”

I wasn’t exactly thrilled she knew about this already.

“Hey, Nagato, I know you were only sent here to observe, but you have a lot more freedom now, you know? If you notice some strange event going on, could you tell me next time?” It felt weird having to talk to a hyper-intelligent being as though she were a five year old who didn’t understand what was wrong with hoarding crayons from the other kids, but social courtesies weren’t Nagato’s forte.

“I was providing assistance to Suzumiya Haruhi. It was also highly probable you would notice the occurrence of the chrono-shift and seek consultation with me yourself; so it was not considered urgent. Time was not...of the essence.” From the long look she gave from those golden-brown eyes speckled with melancholy, I had the feeling she wasn’t telling the whole truth. But I certainly couldn’t lecture her on that front, so I decided not to drag it out of her. Let’s start with the basics.

“What is a chrono-shift?”

“Chrono-shift. A space-time event wherein a selection of space is held in abstraction from the flow of time. Its marginal presence allows time to pass as normal only while an observer is conscious of its transition, however, as soon as observation ceases, the abstracted time will correct itself. With the exception of these moments of observation, the time within the abstracted space will move differently than the time outside the target area.”

After all these years, I still couldn’t begin to decipher Nagato-ese. Where was Koizumi when you needed him? Even Asahina-san would do. She was the time traveller, after all.

“Do you know how to stop it?” I asked her the far more useful question.

“To reverse the eruption of a chrono-shift, access to technology enabling time travel is required.”

I scratched my head at the thought of more time travel escapades. I really didn’t want to run the risk of getting stabbed on my wedding day like I had on my most memorable trip through time, but whatever we had to do, we needed Asahina-san. I lent my ear to the sounds of muffled calamity still occurring above us.  It appeared Kunikida had gone MIA, so contacting Asahina-san became not just a practical but an ethical obligation.

I told Nagato to follow me as I stomped up the stairs. Haruhi had been behaving herself on this front a lot more since our first year of High School, but I guessed Bridesmaid-Mikuru was just too much for her. Well, it’s not like I wasn’t interested to see it myself…Oi universe, what’s with that judgemental look? I may be a soon-to-be-married man, but if my bride isn’t going to leave her lust at the door then I retain the right to wandering eyes!

However, this internal act of defiance felt somewhat pointless, as it was not the thought of Asahina-san that had set my heart thundering in my chest. Thinking of Haruhi in a bridal gown again made me feel completely dizzy, a warm feeling suffusing all throughout my body like a bacterial infection. Was this really real? Wasn’t this some kind of alternate reality, where the consequences of my actions wouldn’t have the slightest effect on the real world? Ever since our first kiss in Closed Space, I had always felt like Haruhi and I would always remain in more or less the same state, me as reluctant servant and her as diabolical overlord. Well, I supposed our marriage wasn’t going to be too different from that, but even when we started dating four years ago it felt like I had somehow achieved something I had never expected to, even knowing how she felt, even knowing how I felt. Like an alternate reality, I guess. But it was here, in this one.

At least, it was for me. Given what I knew and what she didn’t, it was like we were living in two completely different worlds.

The thick, glutinous knot that had been squeezing my chest came back with a vengeance. I’m sorry, Haruhi. I can’t do right by you. I can’t even wait for the ceremony before seeing you. I want your forgiveness, but I can’t even tell you what I’ve done wrong. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Kunikida knocked me out of depressive spiral again, this time with a door to my face.

“Eh – Kyon?! You can’t come in here!” Kunikida objected to my crumpled corpse. For some reason, his black tie was wrapped in a bandanna around his head. Is this really the time to kickstart your delinquent lifestyle, Kunikida?!

“Ehhhhhhhhhhhh? Kyon-kun is - !!!” Came Asahina-san’s soft, panicked voice.

“Ohohoh, couldn’t wait for the ceremony, could he? Hey Suzumiya-san, your hubby-to-be’s more of a man than I thought!” That carefree and boisterous tone could only belong to Tsuruya-san.

“KYON-KUN!” And that was…

My sister barrelled out of the room in a pink dress with her finger taking aim at my chest.

“You can’t see the bride before the wedding you know! It’s forbidden! For-bid-den!”

She was driving me back like a bulldozer driven by some Hollywood action hero, giving my chest an extra prod with each syllable.

“It’s important, I have to talk to Asahi- ”

“NO IFS!” She paused for effect. “NO BUTS!”

I hadn’t said either if nor but, but I was sure telling her that would only earn me another piledriver. What happened to the cute sister I had known all those years ago? She’s been spending way too much time with Haruhi. It was a sister-in-law tag team I had come to dread.

“Eh? Kyon-kun wants to see me…um…this isn’t the best the time…” Asahina-san’s dulcet tones rang out from behind the door.

“Asahina-san!” I slipped out from behind my sister’s human wall. “I have something I need to talk to you about! With Nagato.”

“N-Nagato-san is…?” She seemed to have got the hint about what kind of conversation this would be. “U-um…what should I do…?”

“Well, well, what’s this, Kyon-kun?”  The mischievous face of Tsuruya-san in a dark blue, Chinese-style dress emerged from behind the door, intercepting my path. “You want to see Mikuru? Not your lovely bride? Aw man, it’s the day of the wedding and we already have a scandal on our hands! I’d expect nothing less from you, Kyon-kun!”

What exactly was that supposed to mean?! I gave her my best attempt at a stare like the kind a cowboy might have while saying this town wasn’t big enough for the both of them.

“Tsuruya-san, whatever you and Haruhi have been doing to Asahina-san, cut it out now! This is important!”

I started marching towards the door. At that time, I was reminded of the Charge of the Light Brigade and the three hundred Spartans at Thermopylae, but I didn’t let such depressing and realistic examples deter me from my righteous crusade.

“KYON-KUN, YOU CAN’T – Ah!”

Ever the reliable ally, Nagato easily fended off my sister’s hug-attacks with timely swishes of her arm. I charged on past the useless defence of Kunikida towards Tsuruya-san. Her eyes widened in surprise.

“Woah woah woah woah woah woah woah, wait a minute!”

Even Tsuruya-san’s spirited defence was insufficient against my determination. I ducked under her arms and passed right on through towards the growing sounds of quite a few panicked noises from Asahina-san. It’s okay, Asahina-san – I’ll do my best not to look!

The open door was in front of me. Asahina-san, to my relief and confusion, was fully dressed in an angelic white gown. But Haruhi…Haruhi was…

“G-G-G-G-GEEEEEEEEET OOOOUUUUUUUUT!”

Her flushing face slammed the door into mine, literally. I dropped to the floor, more from astonishment than the force of the blow. My nose was bleeding for a different reason, too, but don’t tell anyone. What was that?

Hey now, me. Is it really so shocking to see Haruhi half-dressed? You’ve seen her butt naked more than a few times – in fact, you’ve gotten to know that Haruhi very well indeed (oi, wipe that smirk off your face). I hadn’t been expecting it, so there was that, but I think what really did it for me was what she still had on. Just like in my imagination, there was something about seeing her half in her bridal dress that turned me on to a ridiculous degree. I felt the need to stand up and clamp my legs together.

Not long after, following much berating from Tsuruya-san and my sister and muffled shouts from behind the door, Asahina-san eventually eked open the door and crept through, leaving no room for even the slightest peek.

“Um…sorry about that, Kyon-kun…”

“I-it’s fine. Uh, can I ask what you were doing…?”

“Preparing your bride for her wedding night, of course! Wahahaha!” Tsuruya-san tormented me, and I felt like throttling her, just a little bit.

“N-no! It wasn’t like that! Kyon-kun, it really wasn’t like that!” Poor Asahina-san seemed like she was about to cry. It wasn’t even you I saw! I calmed down and gave a reassuring nod to show her I believed her. She exhaled with relief.

“Suzumiya-san couldn’t decide on what dress she wanted to wear…or how she wanted to wear it…so she asked us to help her decide…um…”

“And well, we thought we should have some fun with it! Get revenge for Mikuru’s suffering all those years ago, wahaha!”

“I-it was you who thought that, Tsuruya-san!” Asahina-san desperately objected. As if I could believe Saint Asahina could want revenge for anything. The girl turns her other cheek before someone even slaps her.

Wait, hold on – does this mean my Best Man has seen my bride naked?! I redirected my death-glare from Tsuruya-san to Kunikida. He started waving his hands in front of him as if he was trying to deflect my laser vision.

“I-I didn’t see anything! I tried to stop them, like you said, but Tsuruya-san grabbed me and wrapped my tie around my eyes!” He tugged on the tie now wrapped around his forehead. “They made me help out, but I was totally blind!”

I folded my arms and turned towards Tsuruya-san, who was nodding in confirmation, looking like she was having way too much fun. Satisfied, I gave Kunikida a solemn nod. It made no sense to try to get someone you just blinded to help you, but that kind of thing was just like Tsuruya-san. Then I realised something.

“Wait, it’s thirty minutes before the wedding, and she still hasn’t decided on her dress yet?” I groaned. “Well, it is like her to skim over important stuff like this…”

“Kyon-kun!” My sister scolded me. What now?! “That’s not how it was at all! Haruhi-nee thought really hard about it, but couldn’t decide, so she bought three just in case! She’s thinking about it even now just to make sure she looks as good as possible for your wedding!”

A-aah. That’s really quite sweet, actually.  But Haruhi, please dial down your spending habits after we get married. And come to think of it, why does my sister use sibling honorifics for you when she doesn’t for her biological brother?!

“Suzumiya-san was totally psyched out when you turned up, Kyon-kun.” Tsuruya-san was squashing her cheeks between her hands and swivelling back and forth in adoration. “She was so nervous she couldn’t get out a word! Ah, young love…”

To my knowledge Tsuruya-san was the same age as the rest of us, but in Haruhi’s universe, I knew better than to make hasty assumptions. She could still be a slider/ghost/Mobile Suit Gundam yet. But what she said was kind of interesting. If Haruhi was feeling as anxious as me, maybe this was just a normal feeling after all…

“Well, we better get back to work. Please bring Mikuru back when you’re done with her, Kyon-kun. Only half an hour left to go~!” Tsuruya-san intoned, pulling Kunikida’s tie over his eyes and pushing him through the door, followed by my sister. “Suzumiya-saaaan, we’re coming in!”

Left outside with Asahina-san and Nagato, I prayed for my bride’s wellbeing. Intervention from me was clearly the opposite of what she wanted right now. For someone so bold, she really was easily embarrassed.  

Anyway, we had even bigger fish to fry on a day that was beginning to qualify as a community barbecue for the fishmongers of the world. Leading my co-conspirators away from the door into an empty room, I gave Asahina-san a rundown of the situation.

“I think it’s called a chrono-shift. Nagato told me her understanding of it, but I’d appreciate it if I could hear yours as well.” What do you think? Cooler than admitting I had no idea what she was talking about, right?

“A – a chrono-shift…” Asahina-san performed the same clock-based experiment I had a little while earlier, minus a slave to hold her eyes open. “Oh no…what are we…what are we going to do?!” Her big amber eyes began shaking like a farm animal that had wandered too close to the electric fence. This didn’t look good. On my wedding, of all days - !

“Asahina-san, is it really that big of a problem? Can’t we fix it?”

Asahina-san shook her head. “A chrono-shift is…the time that we’re in is running differently from the time in the rest of the world. It will only run the same when we’re observing the time, on a clock or a phone or a…classified information…” She looked around nervously, only just remembering to censor herself in her panic. “But it will reset as soon as we look away!”

I scratched my head and thought it over. “Then to escape the chrono-shift, can’t we just go to an area where time is moving normally?”

“If it doesn’t cover the entire building then it should be fine…the wedding could still happen that way…but there’s no telling how large the chrono-shift is; sometimes it can cover districts, cities, countries, planets…”

My hand clapped against my forehead in despair. Planets?! You’re kidding. It was tough enough to get this venue, I’m not about to navigate the Martian marriage services!

“Asahina-san, isn’t there something we can do? Nagato said we might be able to, uh, ‘reverse the eruption’ with time travel technology.”

“Yes, but something of that scale…we’d need the classified information of the classified information, right in the heart of the classified information!” Asahina-san’s terrified babble was barely making sense anymore. “My TPDD just isn’t enough…I’m sorry, Kyon-kun…on your wedding day…”

“It’s okay, Asahina-san.” I reassured her. “We don’t know how large the chrono-shift is, do we? There’s still a chance we can get out of it and time can move normally again.” I turned to the silent alien next to me. “Nagato, I’m sorry for always relying on you like this, but do you think you could find Koizumi while Asahina-san and I check the grounds? He might be in my dressing room, if you know where that is.”

I had already sent Taniguchi on Search & Recon, but now I had Nagato at hand, I wasn’t going to rely on a half-trained mutt over a SR-71 reconnaissance jet.

She nodded. “Where should I bring them?”

“Oh, uh, the dressing room is fine.”

She gave another nod, announced she was leaving (a cute courtesy she never used to do), and softly stepped out of the room. Now it was just me and Asahina-san. I fully intended to check the grounds with her, but there was something else I wanted to check with her first.

“It’s okay, Asahina-san. You can stop acting now.”

The trembling Asahina-san froze. “Wha-what?”

I rubbed my hand against the back of my head. “I’ve never told you this, but I’ve met the future you more than a few times. You came back in time again to help me out. You can’t be too far from her in age now, and you look a lot like her…so I figure you must behave a lot like her too, when you’re in private.”

Asahina-san looked at me, agog, like a prey animal sizing up a new invader into its territory, discerning whether it’s a threat. I looked back at her with the gentlest expression I could manage; my usual slumped shoulders and casual demeanour hopefully communicated my very real ease with the whole situation.

Asahina-san brushed her hair a little from her forehead. “I really am nervous, though.” She told me in a mature and familiar voice. When she lifted her face, it was as though the future Asahina-san was standing in her place. “I’m sorry, Kyon-kun. For everything…”

I gave a small smile. I knew I was right. Koizumi suggested something like this to me ages ago, but I never bought the convoluted conspiracy theory that went along with it. It was just a hunch, really. How does the saying go? ‘Takes one to know one’.

“It’s fine, Asahina-san. They were your orders, right? We’ve all been keeping secrets.”

Tears, real tears were brimming at the corners of her eyes. She lifted her finger and brushed them aside.

“Kyon-kun…only you would understand…only you…” Though much more controlled than the ‘younger’ Asahina-san, her voice was still shaky. “I wish…” But whatever it is she was going to say, I never found out. Her sentence trailed off into the past forever. After a tremulous breath, she asked:

“Do you want to know why?”

I shook my head.

“That’s not really important to me. Even if you weren’t being honest with me, everything’s turned out pretty much exactly how I would have wanted it. I can’t blame you for that, Asahina-san. But can I just ask you one thing?”

She breathed in, bringing her emotions under control. “Yes?”

“Were you always the way you are now?”

She offered me a sad smile. “I was never quite the way I presented myself to you. But I was a lot closer to that person I was pretending to be than I am now. I really was young, scared, inexperienced…I just knew what I was doing a little more than I let on.”

I nodded, satisfied.  I was relieved, to tell the truth. I was glad the Asahina-san I knew wasn’t a total fabrication.

“Then, were you really taking your revenge on Haruhi just now?” I asked with a turn of my lip.

“I-I wasn’t!” She pouted, before allowing a smirk and a giggle. “Well…maybe a little. But those are all fond, fond memories to me now.”

Her words reminded me of something. “Oh, Asahina-san, is it alright if I ask you one more thing?”

She looked up at me expectantly.

“What’s your real age?”

She smiled and cutesily brought a finger to her lip.

“Classified information!”

We laughed at the nostalgic scene. I was struck by just how well our friendship had survived this, and above all else, how relieved Asahina-san looked. I wondered whether it would be the same with Haruhi…whether the knot in my chest would unravel if I only found the courage to tell her.

Remembering we had a major problem at hand, the two of us set out on our clock-hunt. As soon as we left the room, Asahina-san morphed back into the shy girl we all knew so well. She may have been discovered by me, but she needed to keep up appearances for the world at large. It was bizarre and a little funny to watch, but at the same time, I was feeling the burden of yet another secret.

We searched a good half of the premises, and everywhere we went, the clocks were the same. The president of North High’s computer society, who Haruhi had somehow blackmailed into coming, eventually allowed us to look at his swanky atomic watch. Unfortunately, even that was subject to the chrono-shift. Let this be a lesson to all you youngsters out there – there are two things money can’t buy you: happiness, and freedom from the relentless flux of space-time.

When we had exhausted the upstairs rooms and were heading back down to the ground floor, I was ambushed outside my dressing room by a wild Taniguchi.

“KYON! Finally! You’re a hard man to find! Come on, I got him, I got him!”

Taniguchi was dragging me into my room by my tie, a privilege I typically reserve for Haruhi, but I forgave him when I saw he was as good as his word. Sitting across from me on a stool and a chair were Nagato and Koizumi.

“Welcome back. I have your ‘real’ cufflinks.” Koizumi sneaked out sardonically from behind his obsequious smile.

“Man, all that fuss for a pair of cufflinks!” Taniguchi was going off. “You know, I thought he was a member of staff! Who goes around cleaning clocks when there’s a wedding on? There’s no way you can make this guy your Best Man, Kyon – ”

“Good work, Taniguchi.” I slapped his back amicably. “Now I need you to find my real tie.”

“EUCH?!” Taniguchi was so shocked he evidently slipped into the memories of his past life as a Munich cobbler. “Why would you need a temporary tie?!”

“Because certain people think it’s okay to tug on the groom’s tie half an hour before his wedding.” I glowered at him.

Taniguchi was downcast in sour defeat, before suddenly, his ears pricked up.

“Eh? Half an hour?”

He looked at the clock. Dammit. A thousand plagues upon my loose tongue. The eyes of all the room were on him, and I wondered how many excuses were being collectively thought up over the duration of those agonising seconds. At least enough to power a small Honda Civic.

“Hmm. Guess I was quicker than I thought!” Taniguchi grinned. “Alright, I’ll find your stupid tie in no time!” He marched off, without me telling him where to find it. I was smart to make friends with such an idiot.

The tension in the room diffused as the time traveller and I stood facing our resident alien and esper.

“Well,” Koizumi motioned to the clock. “It seems we have plenty of time to explain.”

And explain we did. Koizumi had noticed our temporal jam a while ago and had been testing all the clocks Asahina-san and I hadn’t reached. It was then Taniguchi grabbed hold of him and led him in several different wrong directions until Nagato rescued them. From Koizumi’s findings, it seemed the entire venue was caught up in this chrono-shift.

“So what, are we going to have to cancel the wedding?” I moaned. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, but I certainly felt something. Something like disappointment meets relief meets confusion meets me throwing my entire emotional computer out the window, I don’t know.

“We needn’t go to such lengths.” Koizumi smiled. “Although it would be easier if that were the case. However, I am not so sure this is a spacial issue at all.”

“Eh?” Asahina-san reacted. “But, Koizumi-kun…a chrono-shift is a space-time phenomenon…”

“Indeed. Perhaps I should clarify. It is a spacial issue, but perhaps not in the way we typically think of space. Rather than a segment of land being affected by this shift, it is my belief that it is merely the space between our skulls.”

An eerie silence permeated the room.

“And those of all the other guests.” Koizumi finished, with serious eyes undermining his easy smile.

“S-so…” Asahina-san began, “Koizumi-kun is saying…the guests are caught up in the chrono-shift, not the venue?”

“Hold on,” I interrupted. “If that’s true, Koizumi, we can never escape the shift. If it’s occurring inside ourselves, we’ll be stuck here forever!”

“So it would seem.” Koizumi bowed his head as he stared at his wringed hands. “Time has frozen within us…rather poetic, don’t you think? But perhaps now is not the time to be waxing lyrical.”

“This theory.” Nagato gave him a blank stare. “Where did you get it from?”

She had been doing this for years now, but it still warmed my heart to see Nagato actually interacting us like a regular person. At least, it typically would if my head wasn’t thumping like Goliath playing the bongos. Time frozen forever? What would that even look like? Would I ever see the night sky again, or catch a train again, or talk to anyone who wasn’t a wedding guest?

Would I ever marry Haruhi?

“It is simply my analysis of Suzumiya-san’s mental state.” Koizumi shrugged. “Working on the assumption that she created this chrono-shift, what purpose do you think it serves?”

I wracked my brains for an answer. Why would Haruhi want to freeze time? On today of all days? The day Koizumi said would make Haruhi so happy the Agency wouldn’t have to worry about any extraordinary phenomena occurring for at least a few months?

“It couldn’t be…”

“Oh? It looks like you’re catching on.”

“You’re telling me that Haruhi…has displaced us in time…”

“Yes…”

“…because she has cold feet?!”

Asahina-san looked at Nagato. Nagato looked at me. I looked at Koizumi.

Koizumi smiled.

“Can’t you relate?”

Well, yes, I could, but…

…

For crying out loud, Haruhi!

Koizumi and Asahina-san were debating whether that necessarily meant the chrono-shift was targeting us individually or whether she just placed it on the venue, but I couldn’t pay attention to any of that nonsense. I was just too mad.

“Oh? Where are you going?” Koizumi asked me as my hand reached for the doorknob.

“To see Haruhi.”

“Oh my. Isn’t it bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?”

“You’re telling me at this rate, there won’t be a wedding. The entire life I’ve planned with Haruhi will never happen!” Unconsciously, I had raised my voice. Glancing behind my shoulder, I could see the others staring at me in surprise. That didn’t stop me, though.

“I let Haruhi get away with a whole lot…but cancelling our wedding? Fat chance!”

With that, I barged through the door and slammed it behind me. Just you wait, Haruhi. I’m going to give you a real talking-to. I don’t care if I get bad luck. I’d break a thousand mirrors if it meant getting out of this chrono-bullshit. I’m going to marry you in half an hour. I swear it.

Besides, I’d already seen the bride in quite a bit of detail today.

When I reached Haruhi’s floor, I was panting for air. I had ran again, unnecessarily, but I wasn’t going to postpone this any longer. I strode towards the door and fought off the waves of dizziness, the black knot tightening itself inside my chest. Yanking forth my courage, I knocked thrice.

“Ehhh? Who is it?” I heard my sister’s voice ask.

“It’s me. I’m coming in.”

Mass panic shook the other side of the room, and I opened the door as slowly yet confidently as possible. By the time I opened my eyes, Haruhi was facing the curtained window, hastily pulling the zip up on her bodice.

There was a long brunette ponytail before me, held fast by yellow ribbon and streaming over an almost naked back. Beneath that, a shapely white dress exploded into a fluff of silky flares. When she turned towards me, her dress flew like a swan mid-flight. It was – in a word – divine.

It was only the familiar irritation in those caramel brown eyes that reminded me, with comfort, that this really was Haruhi.

Supposedly, this woman was meant to be some kind of deity, and sometimes I really could believe it. It scared the crap out of me just then, just like it had when I woke up this morning in a cold sweat and a sinking feeling warring against a rapidly beating heart. I had felt as though, this was too much for me, or more accurately, like I couldn’t possibly deserve this.

But seeing her cute glare made me remember that this wasn’t a god I was looking at. How could it be? Theorise all you want, Koizumi, but as far as I was concerned, Haruhi was just Haruhi. That was the woman I was marrying, not God, not the potential for auto-evolution or a time-warp or whatever else you want to call her – all that’s unverifiable anyway. As usual, I was the only one in this damn brigade with my head on straight. I believe the evidence before my eyes, and the only thing I knew for sure was that this bold, forceful, chaotic girl was Suzumiya Haruhi, and that when she was with me I felt a certain something fill up my soul. What that something is, I’ll leave to you guys. I’ve got a pretty good idea, though.

While these thoughts were going through my head, absolutely nothing was escaping my mouth. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself, but Haruhi obviously found our staring contest kind of awkward.

“W-well?!” Her furiously blushing face asked. “What is it?!”

Now I was blushing. I did my best to recover my cool and issued a command to all Haruhi’s hanger-ons.

“Everyone out!”

Kunikida gladly took the opportunity and bumped straight into me, before remembering to pull his tie off his eyes and running for freedom. The others were less enthusiastic.

“Haaah? Dumb Kyon, who do you think you are to order me about in my own dressing room? I’m Brigade Leader, you know!” Haruhi objected, snorting like a bull.

“Not you, Haruhi. You stay here.” I turned to Tsuruya-san and my sister. “You two, get out.”

“Hmm?” Tsuruya-san was undeterred, her wicked smile welcoming the challenge. “Can’t you wait until the wedding, Kyon-kun? Or do you want a last piece of young love before the marriage bed sucks it all away?”

“KYON-KUN!” Began my sister, again. “I’M HARUHI-NEE’S BRIDESMAID, AND – ”

“If you don’t get out I’ll tell Mum and Dad who broke the TV!” I threatened her.

My sister deflated like Aeolus’ bag of winds.

“Y-you wouldn’t…ohhh…” Compliantly and resentfully, she traipsed out.  Now only my greatest foe remained. Fortunately, I had a plan.

“Tsuruya-san, please leave. It’s just as you said: I’m going to make love to Haruhi.”

A high-pitched squeal escaped from Haruhi. “Wh-wh-wh-wh-what?! Kyon! What are you saying?!”

“Eh?” Tsuruya-san looked at me as if she didn’t quite understand. “Eh? Eh eh? That was a joke…you’re joking, right? Right?”

I stared her down like I was the protagonist in the sequel to that cowboy movie I mentioned at our last showdown.

“Eh? Eh? Eh eh eh?” Tsuruya-san was colouring red. “Eh? Ah…eh?”

She turned around and walked from the room in a total daze. When I saw the chance, I slammed the door behind her. Tsuruya-san, your bark is so much worse than your bite. I pray for your swift recovery.

Haruhi backed up against the window with her fists out in front of her in what looked like an entirely new martial art.

“B-back off Kyon! We’re going to get married, you know?! There’s no time for that kind of thing…” Her flushed cheeks made her pout extra cute. “Geez, you’re always so needy…”

“That’s you, isn’t it?” I sighed with some affection. Really. Her face had sucked all my righteous anger out of me. Guess I should prepare for my life as a doormat husband. “Relax, Haruhi. That’s not why I’m here.”

I walked up to her and plonked my hands on her shoulders. She squeaked and her big eyes stared up at me with apprehension.

“Haruhi…how are you feeling?”

Her cheeks puffed out as she geared up to vehemently reject the supposition that anything was wrong with her. But just as soon, they deflated, and her face fell with her silence. We’d been in a relationship too long for any of the emotional drama of our teenage years, so we’d been approaching something like honesty. One big hurdle still remained for me, though.

All of a sudden, Haruhi barrelled into my chest and a disorienting warmth rammed through me like a bolt from a ballista. She was clenching my lapels, holding them with all her strength, rubbing her head against my chest, taking in my scent. Shaking.

“Even though I’ve wanted this for so long…”

I pressed my arm against her back and pulled her closer. Oh, Haruhi.

“Even though I’ve wanted this for so long,” her muffled voice repeated. “I’m still scared…”

It’s normal, you know, Haruhi? Cold feet. That’s what I wanted to say.

But then she said something else.

“…Of what you might say…”

My eyes widened. So this wasn’t just cold feet. There was something more to this, something I was completely unaware of: something I hadn’t noticed because I was too busy worrying about my own secrets.

“Haruhi…”

I really was a hopeless man. Very well then, Haruhi, I’ll take responsibility. I’ll tell you what I know you need to hear. It shouldn’t be too hard: it’s the truth, after all.

“No matter what you tell me…no matter what you haven’t told me…there’s no way I could leave you, you know?” I drew us apart just enough so I could look into her puffy red eyes. “First of all, you’ve thoroughly domesticated me. If I went back out there into the big wide world without you, I’d be eaten up in a heartbeat.” She couldn’t help but smile at that, which made me smile too. “And secondly…I’ve seen the world without you in it. I don’t want to go back there.”

I didn’t expect her to understand what I was talking about, since the events of that Christmas had been forgotten by everyone but Nagato and me. Still, it seemed to reassure her. After a little while, she drew in a breath, tried to say something, failed, and, in classic Haruhi style, tried a second time but louder.

“S-so, you don’t blame me?!”

“Huh?” I was completely taken aback.

“You don’t blame me?!” Her expression was intensely earnest, like a dam had exploded within her and she was awash with the power and relief of the flow.

“Why…why would I blame you?” I lifted my hands up in genuine confusion at the bouncing fireball beneath me.

“I mean!” Haruhi turned away from me now and paced back and forth, looking at everything else in the room. “I made you do all these crazy things you didn’t want to, just because you started talking to me…you just wanted a normal high school life, but because I was bored, I dragged you into all of it and…now you’re marrying me, but do you really want that, Kyon? Do you really…” She bit her lip and cautiously, fearfully, dared to look up at me. “…want me?”

I blinked at her, and stayed quiet for longer than was good for her peace of mind. It wasn’t that I had to think about the answer; I was just so shocked. This had been your reason for worrying all this time? This was your reason for stopping time? It was never about her at all. It was just about me…

“Wh-why are you laughing?!” Haruhi’s trembling, embarrassed face was doing its best to be menacing, but nothing would work. I just couldn’t stop laughing. It was so stupid.

“Haruhi,” I made out when I recovered myself, “I do have free will, you know? I’m not just a puppet dancing on your strings.”

“O-of course I know that!” Now she was indignant. “That’s why I was asking – ”

“Haruhi, if I really felt that way, why would I have proposed? Or heck, before that, why would I have even asked you out? Or in the very beginning, why do you think I went to the SOS Brigade after school every day? I could have ditched you anytime I wanted.” A smile crept up my face unwares. I felt truly, truly happy. “But I wouldn’t change anything in these last seven years. Not a bit of it.”

Really, Haruhi, I had realised all this in the first year I met you. For a multi-talent super-genius, you really are dense. Our eyes looked into each other’s for a good minute, and inside her gaze I saw a churning sea of raw feeling, shifting, changing, like a subatomic particle. It was seriously enchanting to look at, and I could have stayed there for the rest of our endless time, but a bear hug from Haruhi knocked me back to the outside world.

“Stupid Kyon…” She muttered. She sounded happy herself – so happy I could hardly picture the gloomy girl who sat in front of me on the first day of High School. Really, how far we’d come.

Or, no, not quite yet.

“…Say it…”

“Hm?”

“Say you’ll marry me!”

“I just said I wouldn’t leave you, didn’t I? And in the first place, isn’t that what the vows are for!?”

“Just say it, Kyon! Do what I tell you to already…”

I chewed on my thoughts. Haruhi had borne herself to me, her whole self, secrets, regrets and all. It was time for me to step up too. Hopefully she would just laugh it off like I had, but whatever might happen, it needed to be said. If I turned back without saying it, I knew I couldn’t forgive myself.

“No.”

“N-no?” Haruhi’s frail voice repeated.

“No. Not yet. First…”

I pulled us apart more urgently this time, and now it was my turn to cling onto her for security as my hands gently squeezed her shoulders. Damn the consequences. This wasn’t anything new. I had the balls to do it before, so I might as well do it now, and if the universe explodes, well, the universe explodes. The universe should get a hobby instead of interfering with my relationship with Haruhi all the time. It’s been third wheeling through our whole relationship, you know? It’s super awkward, and I’m fed up with it.

I said a silent apology to the others, but what happened now was just between me and Haruhi, and no-one else.

“Haruhi, there’s something I need to tell you.”

--

“It would seem the time has come at last.” Koizumi jested, invading my personal space enough for Taniguchi and Kunikida not to hear. “Whatever you did back there, it seems to have worked. Nagato-san hasn’t detected any fluctuations since you reported back to us.”

“Well, don’t jinx it. I’ve been waiting for this long enough.”

In the last twenty minutes, with the help of my male companions including a returning baffled Taniguchi, I had patted down my suit, mastered my hair, and fixed my tie so perfectly that no further fiddling was necessary. As I stood in front of the door to the main hall, waiting for the ceremony preparations to begin, I found my nervousness had disappeared. I was confident – even excited. Koizumi, sly as he was, evidently caught on to this.

“Would I be right in saying the chrono-shift wasn’t the only thing you fixed?”

I couldn’t help but let loose a smile.

“Something like that.”

“Well, I wish you two the utmost happiness.” Koizumi’s face was painted with his usual cheery smile, but I felt a cold stab like the kind a resurrected blue-haired AI might give. I hadn’t forgotten what the other Koizumi had told me in that transformed world.

“Koizumi.” I turned to face him. “I’m glad you’re here.”

The fake smile paused, before settling into a much more genuine one.

“And I am genuinely happy for the two of you. You must believe me when I say that. And not just for the Agency’s sake.” He brought a finger thoughtfully to his chin. “Although, if you’re so glad I’m here, you could have at least made me your Best Man.”

Yare yare. Him too? I gave a good-natured sigh and an exaggerated shrug. “Sorry, I’ve just known Kunikida longer than anyone else. Besides, if you gave a speech you would just start talking about the Anthropic Principle or Schrodinger’s Cat or some other stuff that would send our audience to sleep.”

Koizumi chuckled. “Fair enough. Your wedding, at least, deserves to be a day off from the problems facing the make-up of reality. It really is unfortunate the chrono-shift occurred when it did.”

“No,” I shook my head. “I think it occurred at just the right time.”

“Oh?” Koizumi looked interested, but didn’t follow up.

A brief period of silence ensued as I contemplated the doors. What would happen from here? I would stand at the end of the end of the hall with Kunikida, and wait for Haruhi to emerge from the other side of the room arm-in-arm with her old man and her chaotic quartet of bridesmaids in hot pursuit. Then we would hold each other’s hands before the officiant, say our vows…you know, if the officiant calls me Kyon, I think I’m going to cry.

“Kyon.” Kunikida tapped me on the shoulder. “It’s time.”

I placed my hand on the doorknob with gravitas. Before I was ready to open it, a meaningless thought occurred to me.

“Ah…I hope Haruhi’s washed her face since then. It’d be bad if people thought she’d been crying on her wedding day for the wrong reasons.”

“I’m sure she’s already beaming from ear to ear.” Koizumi assured me. “And I don’t think Suzumiya-san will care much for what her poor guests might think. You might as well be the whole universe to her today; the rest of us will just be specks in the corner of her eye.”

I smirked as I turned the handle.

“Are you kidding me? This is Haruhi we’re talking about, remember? She might love me, but she also loves aliens, time travellers and espers.”

As I stepped through the door, I turned my head back to Koizumi.

“After the ceremony, good luck prising her away from you guys. You’ll have a lot of catching up to do.”

As mine and Kunikida’s footsteps echoed against the polished wooden floor, I heard Koizumi, after a spell of stunned silence, begin to ever-so-weakly tell me to wait. But in the end, it just devolved into a tremendous chuckling. I smiled and fixed my eyes ahead of me.

Haruhi had known me long enough now to tell when I’m being serious. What had worried me was how she would feel about us hiding it from her all these years, but it turned out I was being just as stupid as she was.

Like Haruhi would ever turn up the opportunity to play with aliens, time travellers and espers.

[stillness-in-green]

As a fan of both IBO and Thunderbolt, I'd agree on you on the former not really being sexist (I wonder if we the same reviewer in mind, because I had a similar experience), but would like disagree on the latter. The whole point of TB is that it depicts war in the rawest, ugliest way possible, and I think it strips its male characters of dignity just as often as it does it's females. IBO is- well, not artificial- but it's got a different vibe going for it; I'm tempted to call it a coming-of-age-

-drama with robots and politics in the background (and this applies to both Tekkadan/Kudelia and a handful of characters on the Gjallarhorn side). It’s generally more character driven and hopeful- which is why I’ll forever be grateful for the writers for supposedly vetoing the director’s “kill-‘em-all” suggestion. In Thunderbolt, everybody’s a victim of the surrounding (war) to various degrees. I don’t think either story is female-centric though, so if the criticism was “The women did nothing”, then TB is as at least as guilty as IBO is. Anyway, l’m looking forward to your Gaelio essay- your post on McGillis was a joy to read, and articulated a few of my sentiments better than I could ever have, though I admit only cottoned on when he started mentioning Agnika Kaieru. Cheers! (Whew, this got long- sorry.)

I don’t want to vagueblog about the reviewer in question too much, but my impression is that they never really bought what the show was selling, so every aspect of the show was interpreted either cynically or skeptically.  With the women, it wasn’t that they didn’t do anything, it’s that everything about them was either unconvincing (e.g. Kudelia) or gross (e.g. the Turbines).  And, you know, obviously not every show is for every person, but if you fail to click with it as profoundly as all that, maybe just admit it’s not for you and move on?

Like, for myself, I vehemently noped out of Thunderbolt in the scene where the lady captain was so broken up about sending the dude she loved off to the battlefield that she nearly killed herself via drug overdose, then when said dude found her, floating around in her underwear, he repeatedly violently slapped her to wake her up.  I was also not very impressed with the gal on the other side of the war–the one who seemed deeply morally conflicted about her job, but faithfully kept doing it anyway.  Like, the narrative allowed her neither the the resolution to get through it because she believed it necessary nor the moral fiber to make a stand against it because it was repugnant?  I have been informed that she did eventually try something like the latter, but it blew up in her face anyway.  I’m glad she tried, at least?  

It largely seemed to me to be an agency issue–contrast most of the IBO girls, who are either shown making or made in their backstories active decisions that put them in the situations they wind up in throughout the show.  The BF says that no one on Thunderbolt’s war front really wants to be there, though, which I suppose suggests a lack of agency all around.  I am very prepared to admit the possibility that there is some narrative equality vis a vis everyone in Thunderbolt being a mess, and I just didn’t last long enough to see it on full display for the men, which is why I will probably leave that segment out of the essay in the end.  Thanks for your input, though!  I’m glad both Thunderbolt and IBO were enjoyable for you.

Thanks also for the kind words about the Macky essay!  

[jeezusgut]

Lames? GuardianCorp? REALLY?!

So there are rumblings that Lena and James will, possibly, become a couple or something toward that end this season. Now, there’s only been two episodes aired thus far and, seemingly, only about 8 - 10 written so far, and there have been no confirmations from cast or crew other than James will get a love interest this season. I am no longer surprised by dumb decisions made by the CW, but this one would definitely be a very stupid decision on their part. 

Alright, first, let’s discuss optics. Currently, Katie McGrath’s performance as Lena has been one of the few universally praised parts of Season 2, and since SDCC, she has also been one of the few that has still been doing interviews. Outside of Melissa, she has seemed to become the go to person to interview. This is partially because the SG PR team realized what an asset they were wasting. She’s an experienced, charming actor who has the uncanny ability to be have both serious, meaningful answers paired along with a keen sense of humor that makes her rather endearing. (Seriously look up her interviews). As well, I’m guessing that she has probably been requested several times as she tends to trend on various social media sites even without having any social media accounts herself. Her popularity is in no small part because of the LGBTQIA+ fanbase she happens to have since her Merlin days. So, why would the SG writers decide to further piss off said fanbase by putting her character in a rushed, out of nowhere relationship with a male character? Not that it won’t happen at some point, but to do it after the SDCC debacle and with the sole single male character whose failed relationship with the show lead (who happens to be Lena’s best friend) has never been addressed (another point of contention among the SG fanbase). Again, it just seems like a really bad idea.

Outside of potential optics problem, the relationship, if it happens, makes no sense in the current narrative. James and Lena have had a total of, maybe, 5 minutes of interaction so far, and not even positive interaction. And, no I don’t count James’ supposed defense of Lena in episode 1 because that was tied to him defending CatCo against Morgan Edge, so not really an altruistic or friendly move. These two are at best civil antagonists, and, honestly, that’s all on James. He is the one with an issue that has not been actually resolved. First, his character has not explicitly, or even implicitly really, apologized to Lena for his role in her character assassination in Season 2 even after being proved wrong. Second, it is his ego that is being hurt/offended by Lena’s involvement when he could find some way of showing his worth or potential without being confrontational (also, Lena not using James’ experience is completely ooc that was obviously done for the sake of bullshit drama and cheap writing). So, at this point, these characters aren’t even friends, but will potentially become lovers by season’s end? 

Beyond that, why would Lena ever want to date James? No, seriously. I mean, yes, James is an attractive man, but so what? Canonically, the only confirmed love interest she’s had was a genius, millionaire, CEO/engineer who was trying to cure cancer. Comparatively Jack and James have nothing in common other than being not-white and having a name that starts with the letter “J.” Then the age gap between the characters (not the actors, the characters) is not excessive but still significant. Lena is 25 years old while James has to be, at best, in his mid thirties by now. I mean, he’s Clark’s friend and Lois’s contemporary and has won one of the most important awards in his competitive field, so I would put him at about 35 years. Once more, ten years is not a huge gap, but it would probably be of some concern as far as where they are in their lives, in particular if we consider the one good episode James had in Season 2 with Marcus and his focus on family. Furthermore, Lena just spent nearly a billion dollars to purchase CatCo. Is the brilliant, young, savvy, female CEO really going to start dating the former/interim CEO of the company she just bought after knowing him for a few weeks? Seriously? There is no conceivable way that someone who understands business and perception as much as Lena would risk that kind of maneuver, at least not for someone whom she doesn’t really have any connection or history with. 

(And for the few who will argue that I would have a different opinion if it was Kara, yes, I would. Context matters. While James and Lena have no history, connection, or even positive interaction, Kara and Lena have all that in spades and more. So, I believe Lena would, potentially, at least consider making a few riskier moves were Kara involved. She has in the past)

Truthfully, if the SG writers decide to go this route, it really just shows that they have no clue what to do with James as a character. I mean, a significant portion of the second episode was CatCo-centric and James was barely present. Hell, he was just there to antagonize Lena for supposed drama that was neither necessary or really present as Lena’s character never responded in kind, inadvertently making her seem the more mature and collected individual. He was completely wasted in Season 2, and the whole Guardian thing is pointless in the context of the Supergirl universe. Sure, it makes sense to have a superhero team when your main guy is just super fast or only shoots arrows really well, but not so much when she is the most powerful being on the planet and backed by the second/third most powerful being on the planet and a highly trained and funded government agency with years of experience. In light of all that, a dude in a tin suit really doesn’t work. 

If one of the intents this season is to make CatCo relevant again, then use the Pulitzer Prize wining journalist CEO. Hell, make James the buffer or middle man that covers Kara with Lena when she is constantly having to leave for Supergirl stuff. That would cause drama and probably be pretty amusing with James having to come up with more and more ridiculous excuses or Lena getting jealous (either from a romantic standpoint or from a platonic friend vies) of the relationship James and Kara seem to have and confronting one or both about it. Build the world with James investigating stories or even discussing the assignment of certain stories to his staff that leave Easter eggs or hints at the bigger world beyond the characters. There is just so much that the writers could do that would cost nothing and not be about bullshit, and mostly unwanted, romantic drama that would make James a relevant character once more. I kind of feel sorry for the character and the actor that plays him because of what happened with moving to the CW.

[upshotre]

Saidi Balogun has responded to scam allegations levelled against him by actress Tayo Sobola, otherwise known as Sotayo-Gaga, by telling his side of the story.

Saidi Balogun has responded to scam allegations levelled against him by actress Tayo Sobola, otherwise known as Sotayo-Gaga, by telling his side of the story.   According to actor Saidi, he too was a victim of the alleged scammer named Idris Bello. He explained that Idris came to him as a travel agency boss and introduced a Hajj trip package. Because of the other people involved, who Saidi said he trusted, he believed Idris and agreed to be a brand ambassador for the travel agency.     L-R Sotayogaga, Idris Bello, and Saidi Balogun   He said his face was used on the fliers and he got some of his colleagues confident enough to hand over their money for a Hajj trip with the bogus travel agency.   Saidi said he too lost some money to Idris and he isn't an accomplice as Sotayogaga made is seem in her accusation   Explaining how it all happened, Saidi wrote:   Hello Everyone, I want to address the issue attempting to drag my name in the mud of social media. I would have ignored the matter but I realized that keeping quiet would further fuel the misconceptions and put me in a bad light. Firstly, I wasn't involved in any scam rather, I'm equally a victim. This is not a decision to hate or indict anyone but to clear things up. A man named IDRIS BELLO came to me a few weeks ago and introduced a Hajj trip package. I wasn't interested initially until he showed me a copy of my colleague IBRAHEEM CHATTA'S advert which he has been doing for his company. I was convinced knowing how well Chatta is very versed on religion and Islamic matters, so I decided to give it a shot but i didnt record any Visual and radio jingle for him except my picture that he used on his flyers. A few days later, he pleaded with tears in his eyes that I should get some of my junior colleagues in the industry to buy into the traveling packages, he further explained that he had invested 20million naira already on the project and he was running into a huge loss. His story seemed convincing, so I decided to encourage him by introducing MUSTAPHA SHOLAGBADE (versed in Islam)and SHOTAYO SHOGBOLA to his package. During his birthday at Oriental hotels, VI, where he proposed to his fiancee in the presence of my self Lateef Oladimeji, Ibraheem Charter, Shotayo, Mustapha. The gathering gave me a total conviction that the man is up to the task. I felt that if he could bring us all under one roof in one day, he might be able to pull bigger jobs. I guess I was wrong. I decided to run an advert for his package which he paid like 0.5% of the deal we earlier agreed on and complained there was little or no turnout, I believed him and took further steps. Before I knew it he had collected money from these people, he equally collected two hundred thousand naira from me when he claimed he had problem asides two other people which he promised to give free trip from Ibadan, Approximately, he took over four hundred thousand naira (400k) even after he had promised them a free trip.    

  He added:   the two people came to me that they had no money for international passport, which I fund them from my pocket to do the intl passport aside that, I also bare the cost of there trip from Ibadan to Lagos and the hotels and feeding on account of my goodwill. After I had done all these expenses, Idris ran to me again, that he had issues he wants to solve, my self and Ibrahim Chatta came to his rescue and I am also aware Ibraheem also borrowed him 200k. Along the line, Shotayo said she was no longer interested. But a week after I heard that the people Shotayo told earlier paid, which left me to confuse and shocked. Unknowingly we got to the boarding plane only to find out that the booking he claimed he had made was not reflecting. He didn't show up with the two other people's passport/Visa either. Right there, we were left with two options either to report to the authorities or escalate the matter via social media platforms. My self and Ibrahim Chatta decided to let the matter rest and let God judge our actions according to intentions while we ponder on the next line of action. But later we thought of other victims that were involved who may not be willing to take such step because of the amount involved. So, we set two options for ourselves either to go as a group to complain to the Authorities which others obliged or individual take it up and once there is a need to report to the Authorities we all make ourselves available. Mustapha Sholagbada told me Sotayo had reported the matter to the police and she had collected a letter from Higher Authorities, which make me at peace that all is in control, And each time Shotayo reports me to people, I try as much as possible to call but she declined to speak to me and never returned my calls. I don't hold this against her because I reasoned she might be angry. I was totally alarmed to see my name being dragged on social media for sins I never committed. But i am really inquisitive about this, when did social media becomes the highest Authority in Nigeria that is greater than the law enforcement Angencies?       He continued:   When has it become a crime to make a referral for colleagues? When we know that referral is the life wire of entertainers. My intention for bringing my colleagues on board was clear and noble as I never knew it would end this way. Am very inquisitive about this, If everything went well,will I have the same accolades on social media like this ? Nevertheless, necessary investigations are still going on and we will alert the public as things unfold. In conclusion I will advise the public to beware of fake journalists who for their selfish interests do copy and paste without proper investigation. Only God knows how many lives and career have been ruined to such a heinous act. In God I trust! Read the full article

[kansascityhappenings]

Trove of leaked documents reveal how world’s wealthy dodge taxes

LONDON — A trove of leaked documents made public Sunday reveal how the world’s wealthy elite dodge taxes by stashing it in offshore investment funds.

Among those named in the leaks are Queen Elizabeth II, US Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross, singer Madonna, and U2 front man Bono.

The leaked documents also reportedly show how state-run Russian companies funded large investments in Twitter and Facebook.

The leak, called the Paradise Papers, was revealed when the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists and its dozens of collaborating news outlets on Sunday published investigations related to them. The reporting partners included the New York Times, the Guardian and the BBC.

The project, which is based on more than 13.4 million documents dated from 1950 to 2016, covers a large number of global corporations, government leaders, and prominent people and their use of offshore accounts to avoid taxes or otherwise hide ownership of assets.

The documents have not been independently reviewed by CNN.

The reporting is similar to the Panama Papers, which in 2016 exposed cases involving celebrities and business executives who reportedly moved large chunks of their wealth into offshore tax havens.

Several members of Trump’s inner circle, including Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and chief economic adviser Gary Cohn, were mentioned in the papers. The Times, which mentioned both men, said there was “no evidence of illegality in any of their dealings.”

The consortium, meanwhile, noted in its reporting Sunday that there are legitimate uses for offshore companies and trusts.

“ICIJ does not intend to suggest or imply that any persons, companies or other entities have broken the law or otherwise acted improperly,” it said in a disclaimer posted online.

Journalists with access to the Paradise Papers noted in stories published Sunday that their contents will continue to make news in the coming days.

Here are some of the high-profile government officials and celebrities mentioned in the first wave of reporting.

Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross

The New York Times reported that Trump’s commerce secretary, Wilbur Ross, has retained a multimillion-dollar stake in Navigator, a shipping company whose top customers include the Russian energy firm Sibur.

President-elect Donald Trump and U.S. Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)

Sibur’s owners include a member of Russian President Vladimir Putin’s family and a Russian oligarch, according to the Times, which also says the firm itself was created by the Russian government.

Another of Navigator’s clients is PDVSA, Venezuela’s state-run oil company, which Trump targeted with sanctions this year.

The Times reports that Ross held his stake in Navigator through a “chain of companies in the Cayman Islands.”

The Times also says “much” of Ross’s wealth, which is estimated to total around $2 billion, is tied up in secretive offshore investments.

When Ross disclosed his finances earlier this year, he included Navigator as a company he intended to retain an interest in. But that document did not disclose how large his stake was because it was not required.

But that won’t help Ross escape political controversy.

Senator Richard Blumenthal, a member of the Senate Commerce Committee that questioned Ross before his appointment, accused Ross of misleading the committee and the public by “concealing an ongoing financial relationship” with Russians.

“Inexcusable and intolerable,” Blumenthal said in a series of tweets Sunday. “Americans are owed answers on this Cabinet’s troubling failure to disclose links to Russian interests.”

The Commerce Department told CNN on Sunday that Ross was not involved with Navigator’s decision to do business with Sibur.

“Moreover, Secretary Ross has never met the Sibur shareholders referenced in this story and, until now, did not know of their relationship,” the agency said in a statement.

It added that Ross recuses himself from matters focused on transoceanic shipping vessels, though he has been supportive of the administration’s sanctions against “Russian and other entities.”

Twitter, Facebook and Russian money

The Times also reported that two state-run Russian companies secretly and indirectly poured millions of dollars into Twitter and Facebook.

Mark Zuckerberg (L) and Yuri Milner (Photo by Steve Jennings/Getty Images for Breakthrough Prize)

Both of the transactions allegedly involved Yuri Milner, a Russian tech mogul who has business ties to Trump’s son-in-law, White House adviser Jared Kushner.

According to the Times, Milner invested in Cadre, a tech real estate company that was founded by Kushner and his brother. Milner told the paper he has only met Kushner once.

Milner’s link to Kushner and his company are unrelated to the Russian investments in Facebook and Twitter.

According to the Times, the Russian-owned VTB Bank gave $191 million to an offshore vehicle connected to Milner. Money from that entity was later used to help fund a stake in Twitter.

The newspaper also said the Russian oil and gas company Gazprom lent money to another firm that invested in Milner’s multimillion-dollar Facebook deal.

White House Senior Advisor Jared Kushner has known business ties to Yuri Milner. (Photo by Zach Gibson – Pool/Getty Images)

According to the Guardian, Milner said the funding from VTB did not buy it influence at Twitter. He also told the newspaper that he wasn’t aware that Gazprom was involved in the Facebook investment.

The Guardian noted that it is not clear whether Moscow saw a “political interest” in funding stakes in Facebook and Twitter, or if the acquisitions were “only intended to make money.”

Twitter said in a statement that DST Investments 3 — a fund managed by Milner’s company DST Global– was an investor before its IPO.

A Twitter spokesperson told CNN that the company “reviewed all potential investors” before it went public in November 2013.

The company also said that the stake owned by DST Global was divested in May 2014.

Facebook’s IPO, meanwhile, was in May 2012. The company could not be reached late Sunday for comment.

But a Facebook spokesperson told the Guardian that the Gazprom-backed investment was ultimately sold five years ago.

Queen Elizabeth II

In Britain, the BBC said it had seen documents that show the Duchy of Lancaster, which provides the Queen with an income, had invested £10 million ($13.1 million) into funds in the Cayman Islands and Bermuda.

Queen Elizabeth II (Cathal McNaughton – Pool /Getty Images)

The documents have not been reviewed by CNN.

The Queen has not been accused of any wrongdoing. But the investments are potentially embarrassing for a royal family that closely guards its reputation.

“We operate a number of investments and a few of these are with overseas funds. All of our investments are fully audited and legitimate,” the Duchy of Lancaster said in a statement.

The Duchy added that the Queen, who is officially exempt from U.K. tax laws, “voluntarily pays tax” on income she receives from the estate.

The £519 million ($680 million) Duchy, which provides the Queen with an income to cover official expenses, says it invests primarily in commercial, agricultural and residential properties.

In the most recent fiscal year, the Duchy generated £19.2 million ($25 million) in net income according to its website.

Related: What you need to know about the Paradise Papers

One of the Duchy’s offshore investments has generated some controversy.

The BBC reported that the Duchy invested $7.5 million in Dover Street VI Cayman Fund LP in 2005. The fund, which invested in medical and tech companies, later put money into U.K. retailer BrightHouse.

The Duchy said its investment in the company is worth £3,208 ($4,200).

BrightHouse, which gave customers credit so they could buy its home furniture and appliances, was later forced to compensate consumers after the U.K.’s Financial Conduct Authority found it was not a responsible lender.

“We sincerely apologize to those customers who were affected,” the company said in October. “We’re absolutely determined that this doesn’t happen again and have made significant improvements over the last 18 months.”

The Duchy said in a statement that the investment in BrightHouse was made “through a third party,” and equates to just 0.0006% of the Duchy’s value.

The ICIJ noted in its report that “there are legitimate uses for offshore companies and trusts,” and it was not suggesting that any people or companies it named either broke the law or acted improperly.

David Pitt Watson, an executive fellow at the London Business School who focuses on responsible investments, said he “very much” doubts that the Queen knew where her money was invested.

Instead, she’s like “so many others who have a pension, or an investment account,” he said. “We just don’t know what is being done with it.”

Bono

The papers suggest U2 frontman Bono used a company based in low-tax Malta to buy part of a shopping mall in Lithuania.

U2 front man Bono (Photo by Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images for PSFF)

The Guardian newspaper said Monday that the papers reveal that the singer was an investor in Maltese company Nude Estates, which bought the Ausra shopping center in 2007.

Bono’s spokeswoman told the paper that the rocker, whose real name is Paul Hewson, was a “passive minority investor in Nude Estates Malta Ltd., a company that was legally registered in Malta until it was voluntarily wound up in 2015.”

The Irish band, well known for its poverty-fighting efforts, has faced past criticism over its tax arrangements.

U2 was heavily criticized in 2006 for moving its corporate base from Ireland to the Netherlands, where royalties on music incur virtually no tax.

In 2011, protesters inflated a giant balloon reading “U Pay Tax 2?” during U2’s set at the Glastonbury Festival.

The Ausra shopping center is located in the town of Utena, some 100 kilometers (62 miles) north of Lithuania’s capital, Vilnius. The 3,700 square-meter (40,000 square-foot) mall was built in 2006 and sold to unknown foreign investors in 2007.

Its management has told reporters they were not aware Bono’s involvement in the property’s ownership.

Tax officials in Lithuania said Monday they’ve started to investigate papers and documents belonging to UAB Nude Estates 2, a Lithuanian registered company owned by Nude Estates Malta Ltd. and listed as the mall’s owner.

Ruta Asadauskaite, spokeswoman for Lithuania’s state tax inspectorate, declined to provide further details.

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports http://fox4kc.com/2017/11/06/trove-of-leaked-documents-reveal-how-worlds-wealthy-dodge-taxes/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2017/11/06/trove-of-leaked-documents-reveal-how-worlds-wealthy-dodge-taxes/

[popofventi]

Mental Yoga Sunday / 5 Favorite Long Form Reads This Week / Issue No. 20

"See, I was nine years old when I saw Elvis on 'Ed Sullivan', and I had to get a guitar the next day. I stood in front of my mirror with that guitar on...and I knew then that's what has been missing."  -- Bruce Sprinsteen

I like the world but I hate the noise of it all, and sometimes clarity comes in the form of a quiet day and words on a page. This Sunday's edition we're doing a little Mental Yoga stretching our thoughts around things like Bruce on Broadway, Germany's definition of success and happiness, the originator of the hot chicken craze, Puerto Rico's dire straits and its fight for statehood and the great Kate McKinnon really not wanting to discuss her personal life. Embrace the muzzling of all the chatter.

1

 Bruce Springsteen on Broadway: The Boss on His ‘First Real Job’ (The New York Times)

"It started at the White House. On Jan. 12, in the last weeks of the Obama administration, Mr. Springsteen played an acoustic concert in the East Room as the Obama family’s parting gift for about 250 staffers. For Mr. Springsteen, who takes every performance seriously, it was a moment of reckoning. He carefully assembled a set list spanning his career; he illuminated the songs with spoken stories and memories echoing “Born to Run,” the autobiography he published in 2016.

“There was a lot of storytelling, which goes back to our early days at the Bottom Line when you were in front of a couple of hundred people,” Mr. Springsteen said in an interview at his home studio in Colts Neck, N.J., recalling the Greenwich Village club where his shows in summer 1975became a sensation. “It worked in a very, very intimate setting.”

Heading home from Washington, Mr. Springsteen and his wife, Patti Scialfa, and his manager, Jon Landau, thought more people should experience a performance like that. “The way he combines the spoken words with the songs he’s chosen to do sounds like a very simple thing,” Mr. Landau said. “But it’s a real piece of performance art.”" - Read Full Story

2

The secret to Germany’s happiness and success: Its values are the opposite of Silicon Valley’s (Quartz)

"If Silicon Valley ever formed a political party, it might look a lot like the current iteration of Germany’s Free Democrats, or FDP. In the 2017 election cycle, the FDP offered a platform that reads like what Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg would come up with if they decided to disrupt Rand Paul. Its primary aspirations include creating a startup-friendly economy, digitizing Germany’s monolithic reams of bureaucratic paperwork (no small feat), and, yes, radically reduce income taxes, which currently top off at 45% for the highest earners.

The platform has propelled the party back from the dead. Having been kicked out of the Germany’s parliament, or Bundestag, in 2013, the FDP came roaring back with 10% of the vote in Sunday’s election.

To some, this might suggest that a cultural shift is afoot in Germany. After all, the FDP’s leader, a magnetic 38-year-old named Christian Lindner, has openly expressed a desire to shake things up. In an August interview with the Economist, in which he called Germany’s economy “a prosperity hallucination,” Lindner also explained that in his country, “entrepreneurship has long been undervalued … and societies that are prepared to be more daring and have efficient capital markets have overtaken us on this.” Germans could be “world leaders” in the new economy, he said, “but we have to want it.

But that’s the thing: The vast majority of Germans don’t want it. For progressive and even centrist Germans, the startup-style definition of Erfolg (or “success”) is utterly incompatible with their values—which do not center on individual wealth, recognition, or even careers. Though the FDP’s showing was meteoric compared with recent years, Germany’s cultural mores—which include a vehement defense of the country’s robust social safety net, largely credited for the relatively quick recovery from last decade’s recession—mean it is largely inoculated from the bootstrap fever that has long gripped the US." - Read Full Story

3 

After Irma, Puerto Rico's Case For Statehood Gains Newfound Urgency (Pacific Standard)

"The deepening humanitarian crisis in Puerto Rico reveals a disaster response that is categorically different from the actions taken in the wake of hurricanes that struck the continental U.S. recently. While Fuentes praised the efforts of the president, the U.S. Federal Emergency Management Agency, and Florida Senator Marco Rubio, he outlined several needs that may not be in the offing.

"Short term—like, tomorrow—Puerto Rico needs a waiver on the Jones Act, so we can start bringing stuff in without the imposition of the Jones Act," Fuentes said on Tuesday, before the Department of Homeland Security delivered a no verdict. "Hospitals are running with generators. Frozen-food warehouses are running on generators. They need to get diesel if we want to keep that food."

Next, Congress will take up the issue of a hurricane relief package for Puerto Rico. Or maybe not: Politico reports that a formal funding request is still weeks away, as the devastation in Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands is so widespread that an assessment cannot be made. Still, Congress passed a major hurricane relief package just six days after Hurricane Harvey struck Texas. And the government relaxed the Jones Act to deal with the Exxon Valdez oil spill—an ecological tragedy, but far from a humanitarian catastrophe.

Puerto Rico will have no real say in whatever decision Congress makes. The stakes could not be higher: One estimate pegs hurricane damages at more than $72 billion. Maria came just a month after Puerto Rico declared a soft bankruptcy in May—following a debt crisis that Fuentes and other critics say was spurred in large part by Puerto Rico's inequitable standing vis-à-vis the rest of the country. It's possible that the damages wrought by Maria could even exceed the debt that ruined the island financially." - Read Full Story

4

The Kate McKinnon Report (Vanity Fair)

"Kate arrives on time to the minute. I’m early, so I have a chance to observe her as she enters. She’s dressed down. Movie stars are typically dressed down for these occasions. (Another reason they’re deceptive: people come costumed as though it’s playtime, not work.) But Kate isn’t dressed movie-star down, i.e., the kind of down that’s flattering to the figure and still involves the application of a not inconsiderable amount of makeup, i.e., a stylist-approved, camera-ready kind of down. Kate’s dressed real-person down, i.e., badly: oversize T-shirt and pants that aren’t quite sweat but close enough; sneakered feet; face cosmetics-free; hair in a ponytail, or, rather, what would be a ponytail if she hadn’t failed to tug the hair all the way through the elastic, leaving it in a sort of ponytail-bun limbo.

As quickly as I’m struck by how un-vain she is, I’m struck by how much she has to be vain about. She’s very pretty: small-bodied and full-lipped with cat eyes—pale blue and almond-shaped and slanting—tawny skin and hair, dimples she can twitch into existence without even smiling. She’s 33 but appears younger, a few years out of college. I’d watched hours of footage of her in preparation for this encounter yet had somehow missed her great good looks. Not that she photographs poorly. It’s just that in most scenes she’s impersonating a woman far, far older than she (Debette Goldry, legend of the silver screen, a fictional creation) or a woman far older (the all-too-real Betsy DeVos) or a man (Robert Durst) or a boy-man (Justin Bieber). And her face is rarely in repose. She’s often stretching it in some crazy, rubbery way, thrusting out her jaw, baring her teeth." - Read Full Story

5

Burned Out (Eater.com)

"The first time I went to Prince’s Hot Chicken Shack, I was 12 years old, and I didn’t even eat the chicken. My dad, though, ordered his “hot” — one of six heat levels spicy enough to force beads of sweat from one’s brow onto the table, one soft drop at a time. While he ate, he remarked that the heat radiating from the plate didn’t just linger in the air or settle on your lips, it sat with you for days afterward. As the old ceiling fans helicoptered above, I sat silently in the pew-like booth, flirting with some fries that had absorbed a whisper of heat from sharing the same cast-iron skillet as the chicken, but never mustering the courage to take a bite.

My dad, undeterred, took me and my sister back again and again over the years. Eventually, we learned to sweat together, and I saw that the world was much bigger than home: Prince’s was a visit to “the other side of the tracks,” 30 minutes from the mostly white suburb where I grew up. My hometown, just north of Nashville, was the kind of place where the most thrilling food was a cheese-smothered appetizer at O’Charley’s and where, when I’d try to explain hot chicken to friends at school, they would ask with a bewildered look if I meant buffalo chicken. Looking back, I realize now that Prince’s was one of the few places we’d go and see people who looked like us." - Read Full Story

[mononijikayu]

id like to add that this is very forgetful of the central theme of the story and the writers and directors of the show are very guilty of this - they robbed us of the IMPORTANCE OF FEMALE AGENCY. this story of the dance and the whole story in general was based on a time period where women were not visibly authoritative BUT this era of empress matilda to elizabeth of york, maybe even as far as elizabeth i, was a period of women finding how to have a say in the way they lived through clever manuevers and involvement in court politics. it was women picking and choosing royal favorites up and down the chain of nobility to acquire allies, resources and swords. these women were well educated and cultured, who saw their owm mothers be regents, managers of the household, the very life of the family and grew up to want to be more than just pawns in high stakes diplomacy or be the consequence of some peace treaty.

none of the hotd writers DO THEIR RESEARCH. while women were stuck in a position of misfortune, it didnt mean they didnt try hard to escape it. many successfully did and grrm incorporated them into the story. he gave some of them to baela and rhaena. they could easily be based on the willful and bright sisters of king edward vi - mary i and elizabeth i who had their own knowledge of politics, language, managing households and even ruling as heirs to their father and brother. hell, they could even be margaret of york, duchess of burgundy (sister to edward iv) and cecily of york (sister of elizabeth of york).

and also, baela and rhaena becoming queen and lady of the tides is the best damn position they could get. as the line of succession places them further, their real shot is a really good royal marrisge. daughters go before uncles in line of succession, so daemon's baela and rhaena would end up behind rhaenyra's female led bloodline - herself, her sons with laenor and then her sons with daemon and then their daughter visenya had she lived.

baela and rhaena would be behind them all, and that doesnt even include if you put alicent's eldest son, grandsons, grandaughter, her other sons and then daughter. because the children of the king would go before his younger brother and his daughters.

thats why laena and rhaenyra arranged the marriage a few years before she passed. baela being queen consort could usher a revival of a type of queenship that hasnt been seen since rhaenys and visenya. jace would be a pro-active king who probably will like to see how his people lives, so he would continue the tradition of aegon i's royal processions. he would leave the rulership to baela, administratively as his representative and rule on his behalf. its been done before by various kings, including by richard lionheart who named his mother regent while he was on crusade. jace would do the same, but with baela doing much of the administration and household and managing of royal residences.

rhaena would go through relatively the same. her future husband is heir to driftmark, sest of one of the richest houses, seat to the wealthiest trading port across the narrow sea AND has the largest unrivalled fleet in westeros. her power would be unmatched because she was not only going to serve as regent when lucerys was on voyages and royal business, rhaena also has access to wealth of house velaryon at her own leisure and the best of what the east and west trade has to offer. literally, rhaena would be one of the rich madonna of florence or venice, hell even a wife of a rich dutch sailor and tradesman. and she was to be his partner. rhaena screams margaret of burgundy as well, being a widowed dowager wielding IMMENSE power over burgundian sea trade and political decisions.

i need people to go through history because the moment they make really flawed judgement about the characters, it harms why the story is important in the first place. this was a feminist story at a time where women didnt even know what feminism was or thst they had a right to be more than what men told them they were. these women did not know it but they spearheaded a revolution against the toiling of men, even when they didnt mean to. but the modern peripheral could not grasp that the wonder of this is the layers of bravery, boldness and cunning women were endowed with and fought with just to have the right to say what they wanted, to live as they wanted - to exist as they wish.

its such a shame because we had the potential to revolutionize the portrayal of medieval women as more than being victims. it was an opportunity to represent them as woman who were the minority, women who were the exemption - fight back against a patriarchy which has long controlled their life. thye just wanted to be heard, evil or good, wise and shrewd. loving and horrid. what mattered was that women had agency and women wanted to maintain it whatever the cost. because in the end, they cant expect men to fight the battles for them without consequence, right???

What do you think of this?

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/dulcewrites/715272275441729537

I am just going to transcribe what the person wrote, bc I don't want to go back and forth for this:

I have random Baela and Rhaena thoughts. This is probably discombobulated lmao 😭

As much as I am looking forward to (and very much hoping for) more scenes/lines for rhaena and baela, it is personally going to be so… bittersweet (??) to watch them be involved in a war where imo they gain nothing by Rhaenyra winning. And knowing how reading seems to not be fundemental in this fandom, no this is not me saying it would make sense for them to fight for team green. Though if Alicent followed through on what she said to Rhaenys, they’d have driftmark but that’s neither here nor there I guess.

Especially if we go strictly by show canon. They are THEE dragon twins essentially offered up to legitimized two boys bc that’s all Rhaenyra has at that moment (before viserys swoops in again). She tried with Alicent, who shot her down knowing that Helaena, Dreamfyre, and possible children she would have with Jace would be used as leverage.

I would get it more if it was for family reasons or even personal ambitions (Baela being queen. Though her children would quite literally be put in the same position Rhaenyra’s kids are. If they even got that far💀). But imo nothing in the show depicts that. They try to show them having some sort of affection with Luke and Jace; still don’t know if that is romantic or sibling wise. Either way, I’m supposed to believe it’s enough?? If the fight is for Rhaenyra, they did a bad job showing that too and frankly it would not make sense. If it is for daemon that’s… a choice.

Something about Baela being ‘just like daemon’ but sitting and smiling nicely while Rhaenyra takes her birthright just kind of makes me laugh 😭. Like I said, I could possibly understand this decision if we got shades of Baela wanting to be queen. She seems pretty devoted to her grandmother and wards at Driftmark, it is just hard for me to think she in particular would be over the moon about Luke being lord of the tides. Regardless of if she sees him as family or not.

I am someone who will always advocate for more women on the show, especially women from a different social/economic background from the noble ones we got in s1. So if they choose to make Sara Snow a real person, there won’t be any real qualms out of me about it (unless they write her weird lol). But ngl it will be hard watching Baela fight, quite literally, while jace is away possibly falling in love and Rhaenyra sits on her butt at dragonstone. And daemon is away grooming another young girl???

Like who and what are they fighting for!!!

Oh, don’t even get me started on how Rhaena gets absolutely nothing out of this, and honestly nothing from the people who are supposed to take care of her. I just think they both got the short end of the stick, at least during the war. Which I guess is the point of it all. Casualties and people going through strife for a stupid throne but yeah.. I’m just kind of eh about watching that unfold.

Answers

A)

I already stated several times that DaemonxNettles isn't a thing and Daemon never groomed that girl. People can check out the stuff I have tagged as "daemon and nettles", click this link, or click this for a very specific post about it.

B)

Them: "Though her children would quite literally be put in the same position Rhaenyra’s kids are. "

No, they wouldn't. How would they...if the greens were sent to the Wall, executed, etc.? How ridiculous.

...I don't understand how Baela and Rhaena wouldn't win by becoming a Queen and a Lady of a major house respectively. Ain't no way.....Why does this person think Margaery Tyrell, Cersei Lannister Arianne Martell, and Rhaenyra herself ALL want to be some sort of Queen or woman-in-charge-with-highest-social-station?!

There are real sociopolitical benefits to being a Lady of a great house and a damn Queen Consort! That is the entire point of feudalist political marriages!

They say this: "And knowing how reading seems to not be fundemental in this fandom, no this is not me saying it would make sense for them to fight for team green. Though if Alicent followed through on what she said to Rhaenys, they’d have driftmark but that’s neither here nor there I guess."

Yet the second sentence is telling us that Alicent would have given Driftmark to the girls if they had just changed teams or acquiesced to the greens' terms...which is still giving up the black cause/rhaenyra's cause. So in order to get the house that Rhaenys, Viserys, and Corlsy all already give Rhaena and her future kids with Luke....the girls have to be handed their already-assured inheritances by those who are seeking to make them and those they lived with as family members for 6 years hostage...Cuz that's what Otto is doing: trying to make these girls hostages and limit their options so they, Daemon, and Rhaenyra can't retaliate in fear of these girls and these girls' parents' lives...If any of them were to just give up!

The other thing is that, once again, Corlys is the one to have made the arrangement with Viserys concerning who will inherit and marry who. not Rhaenyra, who is merely following their directive and wishes that also benefit the two girls mentioned!

You know, perhaps it's because of the jump cut and HotD's terrible writing limiting how much screentime each actor gets to show emotion, and how we the audience do not actually witness how Rhaenyra's family became a family after she and Daemon marry (Spoiler alert, it is!). jeynearrynofthevale writes this about one thing the show should have done:

Spend way more time on court politics and the buildup of the dance. Show why the two sides are falling the way they do and establish the core issues at play. Spend some more time establishing the characters before time jumps. Maybe give Rhaenyra motivation for ruling in terms of what she wants to do. Have her and Alicent navigate around each other in court.

the reason why it feels like Baela seems placid or uninterested is not because she is emotionally distant from her own family, but because these writers aren't worth their salt. the Jump cut robbed us all.

You don't even need to have read any ASoIaF book to understand any of this. how could one not know that being Queen Consort is a coveted and sociopolitically advantageous position?!

C)

There is absolutely no proof that Sara Snow existed. Absolutely none. the only thing we ever hear about this girl is from Mushroom...who never was in the North with Jace! So how the hell does he know this girl exists, much less what Jaecerys did or didn't do with her?!

Mind you, this is the same person who inspired the idea that Daemon fucked Nettles:

Mushroom [who was not at Maidenpool] would have us believe it was not. By the dwarf’s account, Daemon Targaryen had come to love the small brown bastard girl, and had taken her into his bed.

("Rhaenyra Triumphant")

If the writers dare to make Sara Snow a thing, and if this writer is that concerned about Baela fighting while Jace cheats on her, they should know that if they make SS a real person and have Jace cheat with her it's all bullshit just to add "spice" and be provocative. Just as Mushroom does and what they did with Rhaenys coming out of the floor in epi 9.

D)

IF Rhaenyra is going to just "sit on her butt" because SHE JUST GAVE BIRTH TO A BABY!!!

and because it is already common and expected for the leader of the side to be like the king piece of chess: little moves to limit the opportunities for the other side to injure/kill them.

I don't know if I want these posts anymore...I've gone down some crazy rabbit holes.