#VH1 Scream

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

Since “Saw” is trending again due to the new movie, friendly reminder that at the peak of the franchise’s popularity, VH1 greenlit a reality show in which the winner got a cameo role in the next “Saw” movie. It was called “Scream Queens” and it was basically “America’s Next Top Model” but for horror nerds.

Rosanna Pansino of Nerdy Nummies fame was even a contestant.

[gloomylesbian]

she looked insanely gorgeous in scream queens (2008)

[medievalcat]

Shawnee Smith in Scream Queens 01x01 (2008)

[doyoulikethissong-poll]

Slipknot - Wait and Bleed 1999

"Wait and Bleed" is a 1999 song by American heavy metal band Slipknot, released as the their debut and lead single from their 1999 self-titled debut album. After being remixed to replace the screamed vocals in the verses with more melodic singing, it was released as the lead single from the album in July 1999, and peaked at number 34 on the US Billboard Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks chart in February 2000. It remains one of the band's most popular songs.

"Wait and Bleed" earned Slipknot a first Grammy nomination in 2001 for Best Metal Performance, and won the Best Single award at the 2000 Kerrang! Awards. The song enjoyed a degree of commercial success, reaching number 34 on the Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks chart and number 27 in the UK Singles Chart. It was also ranked number 36 on VH1's "40 Greatest Metal Songs" list. This track, along with "Left Behind", "Pulse of the Maggots", and "Snuff", were released as downloadable songs in the Rock Band series. A remix version of "Wait and Bleed" by Terry Date was featured on the soundtrack for Scream 3.

"Wait and Bleed" received a total of 50,6% yes votes - phew, just barely managed to avoid a tie! 😲 Previous Slipknot polls: #100 "The Blister Exists".

[scream-source]

Scream Source will not be posting about Scream 7 or further films.

Due to the firing of Melissa Barrera from Scream 7, Scream Source will not post about Scream 7 or further installments in the Scream franchise. We stand in support of Melissa Barrera as Spyglass attempts to silence her, and we stand in support of Palestine as Israel carries out a genocide and an ethnic cleansing against the Palestinian people.

This blog will only post about the first six Scream movies, the MTV series, and the VH1 series. We encourage the boycotting of Scream 7 and all other projects released by Spyglass, especially in light of their statement regarding Melissa Barrera's firing. Their genocide denial cannot be allowed.

If you're looking for ways to help Palestine, this post details many ways you can help, whether through donations, signing petitions, attending protests, boycotting businesses targeted by BDS, or more.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free 🇵🇸

[retropopcult]

"Baby Don't Forget My Number" is a song by German dance-pop group Milli Vanilli. The track was released in December 1988 as the second single from their debut album, All or Nothing (1988), as well as its American counterpart, Girl You Know It's True (1989). It became the first of their three number-one hits on the US Billboard Hot 100 chart in January 1989, earning a gold certification from the Recording Industry Association of America and launched the duo, Rob Pilatus met Fabrice Morvan to massive fame.

Unfortunately, later that same year allegations and events that suggested they were lip-syncing would surface.

Shortly after "Don't Forget My Number" hit #1, they came in for their first interview with MTV. It quickly became apparent their English language skills were lacking, stirring doubts among those present as to whether they had actually sung on their records.

Later in July, MTV launched a Club MTV Tour featuring the pair along with Information Society, Paula Abdul, and Tone Loc. During a live performance on the channel from a theme park in Connecticut, a hard drive issue caused the recording of the song "Girl You Know It's True" to jam and skip.  "I knew right then and there, it was the beginning of the end for Milli Vanilli", recalled Pilatus of the incident. "When my voice got stuck in the computer, and it just kept repeating and repeating, I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I just ran off the stage."  Downtown Julie Brown ran after him and convinced him to finish the set. "With a bit of pushing and screaming, and a couple of F-words I think as well, I got them back out there", Brown explained on VH1's Behind the Music.

The ruse continued and the duo won the Grammy for Best New Artist, but growing public questions asking if they sang on the records, as well as Morvan's and Pilatus's demand to producer Frank Farian that they be allowed to sing on their next album, he decided to fire them and then announced they did not sing on any of the previously released songs.  Confronted by the Los Angeles Times, Pilatus confirmed the deception. "It's true: Milli Vanilli Didn't Sing", read the newspaper's headline. "The last two years of our lives have been a total nightmare.", Pilatus said. " We've had to lie to everybody. We are true singers, but that maniac Farian would never allow us to express ourselves."  Pilatus and Morvan gave a press conference for more than 100 journalists in Los Angeles where they stated their willingness to return their Grammy Award. The duo said they had "made a deal with the devil", and they sang and rapped for the room in order to prove that, although they had not sung on their records, they could, in fact, sing.

[faxxmodem]

bahar soomekh is so good in saw iii and particularly at the end but every time i watch the 'my marriage has survived more than someone like you could ever imagine' scene i remember how that was the monologue used in the final challenge of vh1's scream queens (2008) but the contestants were only given cardboard shotgun collars to wear

[hehehhe1d]

I first heard What Makes You Beautiful when I was in 2nd grade, and stupidly enough, I didn't like it. What's the big fuss about some teenaged boys singing at the beach? Nothing.

I heard Best Song Ever and I danced like there was no tomorrow in 5th grade, and then I felt Story of My Life was sad. But I didn't understand what it meant, or how much I'll be falling in love with these five boys in the near future.

In 7th grade, I heard about some guy leaving, some new song called Drag Me Down and then some band going on a break, and it didn't bother me much because they were just a bunch of rich singers.

8th Grade came, and Drag Me Down would play early in the morning on my school speakers of all places. Probably the first of their songs that I knew all the words to, but duh, who cares. And then one day when life got too hard, Rhea told me about this little boy band she's been obsessed with. And my egoistic 13 year old self pretended not to like it much. Then one day I found myself singing something called You & I that she'd forced me to listen to, and then I heard more of their songs, and then the old video diaries, and interviews and all of a sudden my life was full of Liam, Niall, Louis, Zayn and Harry.

One Direction pulled me through so much. I found myself obsessing over Little Things, it made me feel loved. I loved dancing to She's Not Afraid, imagining 18 playing when I would eventually fall in love some day, hoping one day I'd have as much fun as they did in the Live While We're Young video. I wanted to do nothing more than go to a One Direction concert when they would reunite.

The solo music came along then, and I loved every bit of it, but every night, right before I slept, I'd pray for a One Direction reunion, all five of them together.

It was all I wanted until Nanaji passed away. After that I wanted to kill myself every day, and I tried but failed every time. But these boys were here, pulling me through it. I prayed each night that I wouldn't wake up the next morning, but I did, every damn day. And these five got me through each day, making sure I was okay, even though they didn't even know I existed.

I got psychiatric help and eventually did get better for a while, and every day I danced my heart out to One Direction, and their solo songs. I even did that little fangirl scream after months, when I found out they were going to dance to Strip That Down on my seniors' farewell party. Mom and Dad would go to the temple after dinner, and that was our time, those 30 minutes each night. My silly ass would wait for them to leave, stick a picture of One Direction on the wall, plug in a pen drive to the TV and dance. The first time Where We Are was on Vh1, I sat on the floor so that I could feel like I was 'in the audience'. I didn't care if everyone thought I was crazy. I was happy, and I wanted to stay that way. Mannya did eventually get bored, maybe even moved on, but I didn't. I didn't need to when I have them, the best thing I could have had. And to have a video with Story Of My Life playing as the background music on my own Graduation Day with a picture collage of all my memories at school from 12 years? Absolute happiness. I met my new best friend, converted her to a Directioner, and it was just us and our favourite boys, doing everything nice. Nothing mattered except for the fact that my crazy little mind thought I could marry Niall and become best friends with Louis, Liam, Harry and Zayn.

COVID-19 was horrible. Nothing could have prepared me for what was to come and how everything would go wrong. I was back to being depressed to the point that I wouldn't get out of bed unless it was to use the washroom. My family had their own troubles and it was just me, getting through things I couldn't explain to anyone. I was slowly losing interest in everything, even One Direction, and it was hurting me so much. I didn't want to live, but still, I hoped one day I could be okay again. I loved and supported the boys through it but there was always more on my mind, and I felt like I wasn't being the best fan, but I tried.

I'd only recently started doing better. I lived alone for almost six months, and it made me find myself again. And every chance I had, there was a One Direction song playing. Things were nowhere close to what they had been before 2020 but I was hoping I could change it. I'm almost old enough to get a job, and I would get myself and my family out of this mess. And probably, hopefully, still get a chance to see One Direction together. I still hoped for it after almost 9 years. Because they still make me happy. They've been the ones to get me out of situations where I wanted to kill myself, situations that I never discussed with anyone, not even my best friend.

Liam is not doing okay. I could see it. The amount of hate that he has been getting recently is disgusting. Nobody seems to care about what it could do to his confidence, and it scares me. People learnt nothing from Johnny Depp and Amber Heard's case. It worries me and I wish I were rich enough to get on a plane and see him and tell him I trust him and I love him and nobody in the world can ever tell me he could be so wrong.

I can't put into words the things that I have been feeling today. You have been pushing him too far. The man that makes my life better is suffering. To wake up to this news is not something I could have imagined. It's horrible, and I don't think I can ever recover. I think I can't trust anyone now, that I can't rely on anyone anymore. Maybe next time there won't be anyone to pull me out of things when they get too much. Maybe that could be a good thing. Because maybe I could go where he has gone and hopefully give him that hug, and tell him that I trusted him, and I can never hate him.

[mydoctor]

Tagged by @catalogercas

Rules: list your ten favorite albums of all time and tag ten people to list theirs!

THIS GOT SO LONG IM SORRY

There is absolutely 0 order to this. Also I did 11 because I thought of all of these and then kept going back and forth about which one to eliminate and I couldn’t do it!! They’re all here for different reasons so I’m saying fuck the rules everybody lives! I am an absolute Album Listener like I’m usually in the mood for a specific album and I’ll listen straight through(but maybe skip a couple songs here and there)

1. Montaigne- Complex (This is the first year in like 3 years that Montaigne hasn’t been my number 1 or 2 artist on wrapped but all their albums still absolutely rule but this one is my fave.)

2. The Killers- Sam’s Town (I’ve been a Killers fan since I saw Somebody Told Me on the vh1 top 20 video countdown ✌️Hot Fuss is a banger but Sam’s Town holds a special place. Remember when we had song ringtones? The song Sam’s Town from the album Sam’s Town was mine for so long in high school.)

3. Punisher- Phoebe Bridgers (the soundtrack of my 2020 I used to come home exhausted from work and sit in bed and listen to punisher straight through and read fanfic to unwind. In hindsight not a Great Time but in the moment it kept me sane)

4. Coheed and Cambria- In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth 3 (the amount of Coheed I listened to in college was astronomical. For a while they got linked to a shitty time so I couldn’t listen but seeing them in the line up for WWWY is bringing me back babeyyy. Honestly big respect to Claudio Sanchez for making a whole band and multiple albums around his little OCs)

5. My Chemical Romance- The Black Parade (truly do I have to explain)

6. Petey- Lean Into Life (Petey made up 28% of my top 100 songs this year alone so he’s earned his place)

7. The Wombats- Glitterbug (I was torn between this one and Beautiful People Will Ruin Your Life but Headspace being on Glitterbug means it wins)

8. Metric- Live It Out (Another HS/College banger. I used to get so anxious during boss/big enemy fights in video games so I would listen to this album and sometimes specifically Monster Hospital on repeat. Sad I don’t like any of Metrics stuff post Fantasies but their early albums are great)

9. One Direction- Made In The AM (if yall haven’t been here for long you missed the 1D years and tbh I’m sad for you it was a fun time. Glad I got in as a fully cooked adult so I could avoid the extremely toxic parts and just have fun. Anyway last album best album when is the hiatus ending boys!!!!!!!!!)

10. Rilo Kiley- The Execution Of All Things(back to HS/college woohoooo! Truly is there anything better than screaming A Better Son/Daughter I DONT THINK SO)

11. Modest Mouse- We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank (Missed The Boat is one of my favorites songs of all time. This is another band that got stuck in the Associated With Bad Person zone for awhile but I just relistened a couple years ago and we’re so back baby)

tagging @pixiestickers @lookforanewangle @captainshakespear @bishakespeares @cassiefisherdrake @varricandhawke @thychesters @ursanic

11 albums 8 people I’m a great rule follower

Also if you see this and want to do it this is blanket permission to just say I tagged you ✌️

[rgnaroc]

                              ♡         𝐠𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦 𝐠𝐢𝐟 𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬

finished commission: 150 gifs of giorgia whigham in vh1's scream: resurrection were delivered to their owner for private use. thanks for your interest !   (* ^ ω ^)  my comissions are open, in case you’re interested you can find the information in the source link.

[aaliyahunleashed]

#OnThisDay January 14, 2002 (22 years ago)

Blackground obtained a deal with Universal and the video made its television debut on BET, MTV, and VH1 during the week ending January 14, 2002.

Quentin B. Huff from PopMatters compared the video to the work of both Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson, saying: "Aaliyah's dancing in her videos probably owed a debt to the videos for Michael and Janet Jackson's solo work. No doubt that's true of many artists. Actually, the "More Than a Woman" video brings to mind Michael and Janet's "Scream" video, as well as Janet's video for "Rhythm Nation."

He also praised her dancing in the video for being "effortless".

Rolling Stone praised the video "for adding a touch of vibrant color to its futuristic factory setting".

Les Fabian Brathwaite from Out felt that this was "maybe" Aaliyah's best video ; He also praised the videos wardrobe styling and choreography.

BET said that Aaliyah was "glowing in the video" and that it included "her signature sexy-cool dance sequences"

What do you think? What was your favorite aspect of this video?

[likeadevils]

13 fave Taylor Swift songs released this year? (2023)

eh let’s just throw them all in there i had to type everything out before i could properly sort it anyways

is it over now (i just think she should just scream more)

now that we don’t talk (it’s just a good song in a self evident way and in lieu of explaining i will go on a personal tangent. so confession i saw the lyrics ahead of time in that blurry fucking leak that only showed half of the lyrics and the beginning of each line would be cut BUT i could make out the words red sea. personal tangent #2 when i was a toddler i was OBSESSED with moses from the bible to a degree that is genuinely insane for a pre verbal baby. so anyways when i saw the lyric something deep within me got so hyped)

(if hits different counts this is where it would be but i’m going based off first time officially released in any format and not just first time released on streaming)

the alcott (i misheard the lyric as did my love aid or abet you which is better but i’ll let it slide cause it’s not like i’m the one who pulled of the scarf reveal in the bridge of all too well after explicitly saying he kept it in the first verse)

you’re losing me (can i just saying learning that this was written december 2021 not only made the song better but all of midnights)

say don’t go (if she cut the “why’d you have to” parts in the prechorus this would easily be #1 but alas it still makes the top 5)

foolish one (genuinely should have made the album i think it really makes “please don’t be in love with someone else” in enchanted hit so much harder)

electric touch (it like pisses me off that this is too similar to sparks fly for them both to make the album but swiftie sin i would put this on the album and make sparks fly a bonus track also i like the idea to make this a duet and i like the idea of a fob feature but i don’t think she quite pulls it off. but i would forgive anything for that opening verse)

all of the girls (should this be higher? probably. am i still salty about this being released and not need? yeah. and like no i shouldn’t let that color my enjoyment of the song but here we are)

timeless (it’s good!)

when emma falls in love (somewhere out there is an alternate universe where taylor released a little ep of songs about her friends in 2010)

slut (can i just say i literally sent a voice memo to my friends the day before 1989tv dropped being like “okay nobody thinks aquamarine moonlit swimming pool what if all i need is you is from slut because that would be insane but what if slut is about her trying to make a relationship work in the middle of a media frenzy” and like i also predicted that the verses would be ethereal but the chorus would be scream-y so i wasn’t totally right but STILL I KNEW I SHOULD’VE POSTED IT)

i can see you (listen i should like this song and i want to like this song but i just don’t and like it’s not the john mayer of it all like i love ours but there’s just something in this song that’s not for me idk)

castles crumbling (to me this reads as more of a “watching too many vh1’s behind the musics and spiraling” song and while i find that charming i also just find it kinda trite. but it does make i could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me hit harder so i’ll give it that)

suburban legends (its fine. like it’s fine if this is for you i respect that and i wish i could agree but like. it’s fine it’s fine who amongst us has not had like like three quarters of a three separate great ideas and just smushed them together to get a pretty good product)

[medievalcat]

Scream Queens Season 2 contestants for Fangoria #297

[adultswim2021]

Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! #26: “Jim and Derrick” | September 1, 2008 - 12:30AM | S03E06

One of the all-time greatest. It’s somewhat of an in-joke; in that a literal first-time viewer might not pick up exactly on what’s going on (you’d hope the more observant would at least be able to infer it’s satiric nature). This episode of Awesome Show presents, without fanfare or even any preamble, an alternate-universe version of Tim and Eric named Jim and Derrick. Jim and Derrick are basically the versions of Tim & Eric whose post-internet career paths had them so desperate to get on television that they became willing to bend to every network note ever given to them. It's as if Tim & Eric’s artistic vision was easily compromised by MTV money.

What we get is a frenetic nightmare of rapid-cutting, sweaty, shallow signifiers of easily digestible coolness, fad-chasing, and lowest-common denominator humor that sells itself with attitude rather than anything inspired. Jim Heckler and Derek Whipple host the show from an MTV-style faux-industrial studio with a DJ and a corporate sponsor in Turbo Fuel. Turbo Fuel is an energy drink that is immediately shown to have negative effects even in the cold open spot (a man vomits with ‘tude towards the camera, and we see blood trickling out of his nose post-chug).

Jim & Derrick are coarse and lazy; so much so that they come off as heroin addicts or something like that. They speak in all manner of embarrassing/trendy vernacular. It screams early 2000s in a way that their show usually doesn’t. They do segments about buying bongs (with Tim’s quotable line “plus, I like frogs”), skateboarding, tattoos, and they frequently cut away to other things that have little to do with scripted sketch comedy.

The only thing that actually qualifies as an in-universe bonafide comedy sketch in the whole thing is cheap and dashed-off, and co-stars a guy who just screams “dude on the writing staff”.* The “sketch”, ends with Jim saying “that’s wack”, then a back-patty musical interlude with a bunch of comedy-related buzz-words rolls out (including Tim & Eric’s favorite: “RANDOM”). They both declare “You’ve been sketched!” into the camera. The entire sketch is encased in a metal border. It gives the impression that the Jim & Derrick Show was at one time way more focused on scripted comedy, but then that aspect shrunk so much that sketches became once per episode, and they eventually started shrinking the screen to diminish the sketches even further. It's a physical manifestation of the comedy being "contained."

*”dude on the writing staff”: It’s LA comedy stalwart Joe Wagner, who did indeed hold similar jobs on a lot of shows, some good, even! I remember he posted on a message board I was on and he hosted a podcast that I remembered being good, even though I don’t remember the name of it. 

Other touches include an announcer who is the same guy from the then-current Carl’s Jr. ads, which were very bro-ey and usually featured Playboy models eating large drippy hamburgers. There’s also transitions that look like they came directly from VH1’s I Love the 90s, featuring internetty imagery like folder icons and whatnot. There’s also frenetic cutaways to a “creepy” old man who makes googly faces at the camera with fake old-timey film effects covering it, to telegraph nasty jokes like when Derrick says he wishes Elisha Cuthbert was his daughter in a gross, suggestive way. 

She’s in this, by the way. Jim and Derrick interview her and it does not go particularly well, with Jim and Derrick rudely cutting her off when she’s about to actually get to say anything of substance. She rolls her eyes and says “great” seeming genuinely annoyed. This is an incredible bit of acting, because a significant number of people believed that her annoyance was genuine, and that the wool was pulled over her eyes. I vaguely recall (but unfortunately don’t have) a video commentary for this episode that aired on Adult Swim’s website. They assured the audience that she was in on the joke, and indeed, if you seek out the blooper reel for this season you’ll see the first time Tim cuts her off in the same manner, she bursts out laughing. 

Speaking of guest stars, John Mayer is in this episode during the fake commercial. I remember Tim & Eric discussing this almost as if they put him in here via process of elimination. Mayer wanted to be on the show and they had a little trouble finding a place for him. He also filmed a “you’re watching Jim and Derrick” bumper that didn’t wind up getting used. 

The commercial is for a GF Spooner, which is basically like a baby bjorn that you strap your girlfriend into. It comes with fake arms that she can cuddle with, keeping your arms free. It’s purpose is to wear at concerts so you can double-fist Turbo Fuels, and hold hands with your male friends. The woman in the commercial was vaguely familiar to me: She plays one of Howard’s girlfriends in the criminally underrated program Austin Stories. I remember Tim trying to make Doug Lussenhop squirm during the video commentary, suggesting that he tried and failed to hit on her during production. When Doug doesn’t take the bait, an exasperated Tim suggests that he’s just looking for ANYTHING to talk about that’s even a little bit interesting. AGAIN: I wish I had it!

Another segment of note is Bradley Needlehead, in the Viral Clip of the week. This is an alternate version of David Liebe-Hart, singing a song about being a crazy guy that believes in aliens. It seems to satirize the lack of respect an MTV-style network would have for a guy like DLH. Though Tim & Eric’s “respect” for DLH is a little questionable, I do agree that they are kinder to him than most would be. In that video commentary, they said DLH directed that segment himself, dashing any expectations of him being blindsided by it. To be a fly on the wall during that session. There’s no footage of this shoot on the DVD. 

Holly Brown makes another appearance on the show; her bit is sorta slight, and I’d wager that it was a gift they were giving her so she could put it on a reel to try and get on-camera announcer work. Her presence fits with the whole vibe; many of these shows will have hot women as correspondents or hosts. The main comedic takeaway from this one is the concept of Tordos Flavor Dust, which has little to do with the actual scene.

The show ends with Jim & Derrick doing a Turbo Boost chug contest, where a hot, but uh, artificial-looking woman, smiles and sprays a keg tap of Turbo Boost into both Jim & Derrick’s mouths. We eventually see blood coming out of their eyes and ears, and they succumb to the toxic beverage and collapse dead on the floor. The woman never stops smiling and spraying Turbo Boost. DJ Drez doesn't stop the beats, either. Then we get a slideshow of fake production logos, including, most memorably, Gregg Turkington saying “Egg Zackly” as a parody of their own “Abso-Lutely” 

This one’s not just in the pantheon of great episodes, but it also joins the ranks of episodes that I’ve watched over-and-over again, so much so that they sorta lost most of their power, so I have to go off memories of how good it was. I recall telling somebody that I laughed so hard at this episode that it caused me to punch stuff that I own while watching it. It’s only with that kind of hindsight that I can recognize that some of the sketches are a little more potent in their satire than others. But the whole thing works incredibly well, and even the weakest bits have inspired jokes and ideas.

A welcome respite from an otherwise lackluster season. Say what you want about season three, but one will forever be able to point to this episode and say "at least that season had Jim and Derrick".

EPHEMERA CORNER:

Jim and Derrick at Spring Break

I forget exactly when and why these were produced, but Tim & Eric did additional Jim & Derrick "spring break" sketches. It would make more sense for them to have been produced for Spring Break 2009, but I'm putting them here for relevance. I don't think they repeated Jim & Derrick on Awesome Show itself.

[dokpetra]

I'm 31 (the secret word today was birthday and my closest mates did me the great joyful favor of joining me in SCREEEEEEEEAM every time the secret word was said!!!!! Which was often!!!!!!!!!)

I had a wonderful birthday,

And unfortunately on this day I lost a childhood hero.

The following is me pouring my whole heart out about what the character of Pee Wee means to me.

When I imagine growing up without the delightful presence of Pee Wee Herman, I feel nauseous. I'm not being dramatic or figurative. I mean it hurts, in my guts.

How can I put into words the sheer wonder and glee Pee Wee's art has brought me throughout these 31 years? I couldn't do it justice.

Maybe to start with a smidgen about my own self,

I am, simply put: a relatively tortured soul. I'm not trying to be goth about it or whatever, I'm just genuinely quite wounded and scarred from trauma, as many of us are. It's ugly, stark reality is rarely cute.

Friends, family, community, and (to a much lesser but still notable extent), certain meds and certain limbs of the psychological care industry, saved me from a path of rapid self collapse in my 20s. Up til then and for a long while since, it was in short and simple terms a lot... a lot of internal screaming. Thank the vast beautiful and indifferent universe: there is so much less brain screaming now. How nice is that even just by itself. Exhale with me if you like.

So as a kid who's brain was often screaming, when I say that in 1997, Pee Wee's Playhouse on a crusty rental VHS was an oasis from my reality, I mean that. Like an oasis in a desert. Twas joy incarnate to me: every object in the house is alive. Every object in the house loves you. You and your cuddly chair and your window and your kite and your puppet friends and your machine friends and your toy friends AND your many human friends spend each day laughing screaming and learning together.

Everywhere you look: the house is alive. And the house and everyONE and everyTHING dances in giddy chaotic animation. Compassion abounds and everyone is free to be. And in this house, that includes freedom to be sad, to do your own thing, to be loud, to tell stories and jokes, to work out your problems together, or to stick 5 pencils in a potato to make an animal, it's called being creative!!!!!!!!

Each episode contained one thousand things that didn't happen in the last, and also, each episode followed nearly the same structure and rhythm. A delightful and soothing flux between the novel and the routine.

It is likely no surprise that as I grew up with a burdensome amount of scream-brain, I have and had a tendency toward escapism. What a font of healthy, zany, cathartic, blissful escapism this work was. I laughed with him, screamed with him, and when the chorus-tinted Roland keyboard began and the wall opened up to reveal his souped up scooter, telling the viewer a bit ahead of time that it's time to say goodbye for now, I would cry: would miss him.

As I grew to adulthood Pee Wee always felt like a friend. Pee Wee's Big Adventure, which my mom and her friends saw over and over in the theaters when it came out, (it's her delight to reminisce about when it comes up, and my delight to hear about) has been a staple of my movie nights.

I have heard the cruel words, in my younger years watching vh1 i heard the echoes of his time in the proverbial stocks for what is to me not a misdeed worthy of lifelong public humiliation. I believe the man is entitled to his privacy. I will say no more and entertain no further discussion of that.

Anyway,

How is this for uncanny? Last night on the eve of my birthday, my roommates and I finally, as we had been meaning to for weeks, watched a few episodes of Pee Wee's Playhouse. It had been a couple years for me. I was transported back to some of the happiest moments of my rather fraught childhood. One birthday gift I gave myself this year is to let myself be a weird bitch with ABANDON: I am lifelong weird bitch but I'm talking weird bitch unchained. This is me making clever words about my need to make fucking weird sounds and when I am TOO HAPPY make the TOO HAPPY yells and clap and freak out. It's too much to hold that back. So I celebrated rather autistically! And we laughed and enjoyed it together. I talked sentimentally to my roommates about what the character Pee Wee means to me, how grateful I am that Paul Rubens shared this world of imagination with our generation, and those before and after ours.

So today when another roommate told me the news, it just, kind of, couldn't have been.... realer.

And this is sort of where I lose my words about it- it's still fresh. I am not at all ashamed to say I wept for the passing of a character; of a man behind this character I do not know and never met.

Free Imagination is, to me, the gift Paul Rubens gave to the world; at least, to me. It is a gift needed like water in the world today, and a gift that gives and gives and gives.

There are a blessed small handful of artists whose work truly grabs my mind by the hand and leads it to this safe, endless, and wonderfully unpredictable place. Imagination begets imagination and each person's mind is a universe all their own. I see this gift and I embrace it humbly and with open arms.

I will end here. Pee Wee....

From the bottom of my heart:

Thank you. 🕊🫂😢🧚🤖🐄💐🌺🌏🎡🛴🌞🌜🥸👽🫅🏿🤠🧞‍♂️🚵‍♂️🤹🪐🎉🎈🎀🎁🪁🎱🔮🎨🧶🪩🧿🪄✨️🎆🥀🥀🥀

[survey--s]

477.

If I were to yell at you right now, what would you do? Seeing as I don’t know you, I’d probably scream or cry lol. Do you empathize with people often? In all honesty, I’m not great with empathy. Which do you prefer, Iced Tea or Fruit Punch? Iced tea. Have you ever been stung by a bee? Only once - on the bottom of my foot and I screamed lol. Did you read Where The Wild Things Are when you were little? No. Did you ever had one of those cash register toys? I don’t think so. I honestly didn’t have many toys like that as a kid - my parents weren’t really into the whole plastic tat/toys thing. Do you have a collage of family pictures somewhere in your house? We do not.

How many wooden spoons are in your household? Zero.

Are you excited to go back to school? I finished education twelve years ago and have absolutely zero desire to ever, ever go back lol. Has anyone ever thrown a cup of liquid on you? Not on purpose, but it’s happened by accident before. Have you ever faked sick at school just to go home? Yeah, loads of times ha. Do you always watch something on tv on your home sick days? Yeah, I normally put something like The Simpsons or Friends on in the background and just doze all day. Can you recommend me a book, right now? Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman. Are any of your siblings friends like family to you? I don’t have any siblings. Do you prefer colouring with crayons or coloured pencils? Coloured pencils. Do you watch the SuperBowl because you like football? I don’t watch the Super Bowl because it’s not a thing here. Are you sick of all of these people trying to find love on VH1? Ha, how old is this survey? Did you ever watch Beauty and the Geek? No. Do you enjoy cleaning? I wouldn’t say I enjoyed the process of it, but I love the feeling of being “done” and the house being clean and fresh and tidy. Have you read any of Ellen Hopkins’ books? No. They never really “made it” over here I don’t think. Do you even like to read? I do like reading but I’ve found that I don’t really have the attention span for it anymore. When I’m on holiday from work I do read a lot more. If your house was on fire, what would you save? Assuming all my pets were out and safe, then I’d grab my keys, my phone and my bank card. Have you ever pretended to have a good time for the sake of someone else? Yeah, of course. Are you good at understanding baby talk? Sure, I guess so. What wouldn’t you want anybody to steal? Someone’s virginity. What was the last movie that you saw in the theaters? Cats - about four years ago lol. Have you ever gotten your clothes mixed up with your mum’s? No. Do you share clothes with your friends? No. Who was the last person/thing to lick you? Purrlock. Have you ever read one of those PostSecret books? I had about four of them at one point - I think they’re all at my mum’s house. Do you have a favorite Armor For Sleep song? Car Underwater. Can you pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time? Yes. Have you ever changed a babies diaper? Nope. Did you have many baby dolls when you were little? I had two - one named Cathy and another named Rosie. Does the peanut butter or jelly make the sandwich? I’ve never had the combination of both together. I like just peanut butter alone. Have you ever kept a diary? Yeah, I did for a while as a teenager. Is there always a supply of KoolAid in your fridge? We don’t have KoolAid here. What is your favorite show on Nick At Nite? We don’t have that here either. If you had the chance to live anywhere in Europe, where would it be? Switzerland or Norway. Do you have a favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Michaelangelo. Are you good at drawing self portraits? No. A plane crashes on the border of Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don’t bury survivors. Do you think that you’re good at riddles? Generally I’m not actually, but that wasn’t really a riddle lol. Trix or Cheerios? We don’t have Trix here but Cheerios are pretty good. Saying that, I’ve not bought any for years now.