#VCR-U-SRS

[delcat177]

Tubi didn't replace Netflix, because Netflix never filled the hole in my heart that rental stores left behind

Netflix never had the racks of VHS tapes with faded covers that came from Nowhere, At Some Point

Netflix never had the gumball machine with the free rental for a stamped gumball

Netflix never had the carpet with the friendly smell of water damage, and the cigarette ashtray outside, and the horror posters up and down the walls

*Tubi knows our pain and stopped it*

Fuck you Netflix and your shitty ass horror movie selection and your shitty ass password sharing policies

[delcat177]

But it's not Christmas without the California Raisins singing soulfully about Rudolph while assembling a sleigh out of garbage!

I saw Will Vinton’s Claymation Christmas ONCE before they stopped airing it, and my family would periodically go “I wonder if they’ll ever show that stop-motion one again” for YEARS. We only knew for sure it existed because as little kids, @qglas and I both loved the running wassail/waddle/waffle etc gag. I eventually found it via tape trading at school and went “wait this isn’t three hours long at all”.

I also had bendable California Raisin toys and I vaguely associate them with being in the car while it was snowing at night, but I don’t know if that was because I got them in a Happy Meal or something or because I absorbed the dark, creepy imagery. I definitely didn’t pick them out to play with because they terrified me.

Will Vinton, great animator, not knocking at all, just...wish he had gotten a sponsorship from Not Raisins

I didn’t know how to deal with this emotionally at 3 and I don’t know how to deal with this emotionally at 33

But I liked the walruses best so I am clearly not authorized to comment

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first 

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent 

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god 

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3 

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke 

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen 

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week 

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god 

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried 

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become 

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it 

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO 

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please 

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents 

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless 

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good 

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases 

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao 

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing 

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode 

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes 

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion 

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship 

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move 

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend 

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’ 

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well 

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend 

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss 

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her 

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas 

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton 

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2: 

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE

[delcat177]

@qglas and I watched 9 last night for the first time in nearly a decade.  Our first viewing was in 2009 on a muddy little CRT.  This time was HD 1080p streaming on a modern TV and boy let me tell u there’s a fucking difference

Illustrated here as best possible

“How many kids do you think watched this movie?” “oh God so many”

[delcat177]

holyromanempress said: del can we wallow in hormone-induced misery together

I went to say yes and Tumblr said no so APPARENTLY NOT

[delcat177]

For posterity, the rest of the VCR-U-SRS Set Piece Edition screencaps.  There have been more instances, but I've been either too hurried or too dead to cap them.

That Hound Mound, incidentally, is why I finally gave up and started godmoding--it would NOT STOP GIVING ME A FALSE POSITIVE.  I've had this problem multiple times, with the divining rod indicating I was either right on top of something or had to fling myself into the ocean to find a piece.  If the game gets to cheat, I get to cheat.

The Great Spider Aftermath lasted two days.  One of them bit Chessie.  All souls did burn that night.  All souls did burn.

[delcat177]

hey-shoes-on-wrong said: Watching a deerclops shred a whole pack of beefaloes was the saddest and most nutritious thing.

The next day I found three MacTusk families slaughtering a herd and I almost stopped to help because dang, man, that was rough.  That was three of a total of TEN MacTusk families on the map and that's too much to even godmode through, though.

Lest you call me a liar, an entry from VCR-U-SRS Set Piece edition:

I know I'll get my ass handed to me for the godmoding, but holy hell, I honestly CANNOT fathom how people make it through Adventure Mode legit.  I seriously thought about it long and hard and I just can't.  I need to see it in action at some point.

As a side note, I did in fact meet the Deerclops.  Thankfully it was on the other side of the obelisks because it took me a really long time to stop running, even though it never noticed me.  That shit is NOT okay.

[delcat177]

Wow

The files I got for Animals of Farthing Wood are terrible

I mean seriously terrible, they're .wmv and obviously directly ripped from VHS tapes, probably second-generation ones

It's like the episode of Red Dwarf where the enlightened entity knows in advance to leave nocturnal boxing gloves in Rimmer's room it's that perfect ;u;

thank you Internet it's just what I always wanted ;u;