#Unicorns weren't real

[jim-fetter-illustrations]

Unicorns and the Bible are both Myths.

I saw a slice of Rainbow Unicorn Cake in the grocery store the other day.......

Now this slice of cake had nothing to do with any Unicorn that I could reference in my past studies! Ya see, in college I took a couple classes in Greek natural history writings from the 4th century BCE, because as most people might think Greek mythology would cover the Unicorn, but Unicorns aren't found in Greek mythology, and ya hafta study Greek natural history to learn of the Unicorn, which might suggest they were a REAL animal,...... and they were, but not what most people would think a unicorn would be............ They were just a natural animal that man manipulated into being a mythical and magical beast so a profit could be obtained through stupid people who believed the fairy tale.

Ya see,... The Greek historian Ctesias wrote about unicorns in his book Indika ("On India") way back in the 4th century BCE, likely based on stories he heard while stationed in Persia (modern-day Iran). Ctesias description of the unicorn is considered one of the earliest written references to the so-called mythical animal: And this guy Ctesias heard tales of the Unicorn as a type of wild ass, which is a Donkey, and donkeys are usually small animals like 36 to 50 inches tall on average, defiantly not a Horse as most think Unicorns to be.

The Horn on this donkey was said to be a cubit and a half in length, and we know A CUBIT from ancient times was about 20.4 inches long, so the Unicorn's horn was about 30 something inches long, which is substantial for such a small donkey animal, and prominent that most people would notice.

The color of this horn was said to be grayish-white, dark red and black,.... and here's where we get back to that slice of Rainbow Unicorn Cake, which is the WRONG colors of the original Unicorn Horn.

See what I'm talking about here?

Rainbow Unicorn Cakes are a fraud, they taste good, but are based upon fabricated information for marketing purposes. (Lol)

Now history and ancient writings tell us the unicorn was likely based on descriptions of multiple animals such as wild asses and Indian rhinos (Rhinoceros unicornis) that were mistranslations people believed as fact, then further transformed into confusing composite animals, to eventually getting that majestic white creature called the Unicorn with the multicolored horn we'd like to believe in today.

Kind of like the whole Bible story goes, that most people today believe is true, but isn't, and it's just another mistranslation from one generation to another with a little something extra to keep the fairy tale going by people who knew damn well what they were doing,... and for profiteering.

Not a major subject of study these controversial days of a clusterfucked political arena indeed.

But a much more enjoyable subject of study by someone who's fed up with the status quo, and the stupid people who support it.....

[behold-the-daybreak]

you know west wing is fictional because when there's a debate, the candidates actually stay on task and answer the question

[tmblrcolouredpaper]

When TXT is making you feel comfortable: habits, routines and rituals that occur when they prioritize your comfort

5 short scenarios per member listed

wc (in total): 1943

no warnings

When Yeonjun is making you comfortable...

... he has his apartment stocked with products that make you feel at home. He has your favorite snacks. He bought your favorite clothes as substitutes that he keeps in his closet for when you stay over. He has some copies of your favorite books and gets some magazines you enjoy. If you're a person who menstruates, he of course has all possible period products ready. If your hobby is painting, he has all utensils at his place. If you are currently into lifting weights and working out, he creates a little sport corner for you. 

'Top drawer on the right', he yells after you when you leave is room to go to the kitchen, because you feel like having a snack.

'Look at the bag in my closet', he instructs when you spilled on your favorite shirt, while he gets the detergent ready to wash your shirt right away.

... he is with you when you decide to face your fears. If he can and it makes sense, he is with you in person, but otherwise, he offers you to be on a call with him or text him. One or the other way,  he will be with you.

'Three, two, one and you go inside, okay? I'll stay on the call and you can return right to my voice if you want to, yeah? Now, my brave baby, three, two, and one'.

... he is his crazy self around you and is the happiest when you slowly allow yourself to let your guard down and become more unhinged yourself. 

'That doesn't sound like a chicken. My donkey impression totally beats yours. Try again'. 

... he directly protects you from others. Whether it's strangers or friends, encountering you with inappropriate intentions or ignorant jokes, he shields you. 

'Keep walking', he spits at a man who is eyeing you up and down when you are outside. Yeonjun pushes himself between you and the crowd immediately and takes your hand to pull you behind him, not letting go of you until he feels like it's rather safe again. 

... he lets you sleep. Regardless if you fall asleep on his bed, taking up all the space or of you fall asleep directly on him, he lets you. The only time he moves you is when your position looks rather uncomfortable and possibly damaging if you remain lying  like that for too long. 

'Oh? Am I that comfy?', he whispers as he looks down on your sleeping figure on his chest, smiling to himself.

When Soobin is making you comfortable...

... he subtly bends his knees or leans against an accessible surface when he's talking to you, to not tower over you as much.

'Oh, why I'm leaning against the wall like this? I'm just a bit tired, that's all'.

... he carries all your bags at a shopping trip and cheers you on in every outfit you are trying out.

'This looks beautiful on you. Wait? Feels a bit too tight? Give me a second. I'll bring it in a different size', he says and rushes into the isles with bags already dangling from his shoulders. He always has capacity to carry just one more thing if it's for you.

... he never, NEVER, distances himself first when you hug. He always waits for you to be ready to let go, because he doesn't even want to give you one nuanced opportunity to doubt him wanting to be with you.

'I'm not letting go before you're ready', he whispers when you were already in his embrace for ten minutes, standing in the middle of the room. It doesn't matter if you are happy, sad, scared, worried. He is constantly ready to be your safe space. 

... he gives you the biggest side-eye. As much as he admires you, he doesn't put you on a pedestal. When your jokes aren't funny or you say something particularly dumb, he will silently let you know and expects to be treated the same. 

'What do you mean unicorns weren't real at least for one period of time on this earth? I literally saw a documentary about it!', he argues and has to contain himself to not burst into a laughter, seeing you shaking your head in disbelief with a big frown on your face. Those situations are so funny and carefree to him. 

... he has your back regarding everything. Regardless of how unrealistic or silly something may seem, he is always there, encouraging you to at least give it a shot. As uncertain a situation, a project, a try may be, he remains your certain stability. 

'So what if it's stupid? You're curious of it. It excites you, so go and see if it could be working for you', he says and adds that regardless of what happens, in the end of the day you can just return to him as always. 

When Beomgyu is making you comfortable...

... he waves at you when he sees you walking towards him, but is surprised to see you turning around to look at the other people who are walking down the street in an attempt to figure out if he might be meeting someone else.

'I was waving at you, you know', he says after greeting you when you are finally standing in front of him.

... he is puzzled to find you wearing long pajama pants as it is a warm summer night during which he is staying over at your apartment. He toys with the fabric when you sit down next to him and experimentally pulls the fabric up your leg a bit. 

'Isn't it way too warm in those?', he questions and listens to you negating in an obvious lie. 

'Just wear shorts. I won't do or think anything inappropriately only because I see your skin', he assures and when you leave to your bedroom to get changed, he adds, 'And don't you dare forcing yourself into that bra any longer'. 

... he observes you lingering a bit closer around him than usually when you feel particularly down. 

'Want to hug?', he simply asks and opens his arms when you shyly nod, inviting you into his embrace at your own pace. 

... he slides on the bench to sit right next to you when you are particularly anxious in a cafe, and he opens his hand as he watches you trying to hide your own trembling one. 

'I'll hold you', he offers and waits for you to place your palm on his. Then he gently encloses his fingers around your hand and makes you shift your focus by asking you to count every brown item you could see in the room. 

... he lets you wear his clothes, either when you're freezing and need extra layers or when it's warm outside but you don't want to wear too revealing clothes. 

'I have a whole closet, just try my clothes'. 

When Taehyun is making you comfortable...

... he doesn't interrupt you. When you are speaking, regardless of how loud and enthusiastic or how quiet and hesitant you are when talking, he listens patiently. 

'No, keep talking. I wanna hear', he encourages when you insecurely stop yourself from sharing. 

... he challenges you. If you want to do something, but doubt yourself, he makes it into playful game to lift the pressure off your shoulders, stepping away from the burden of actively existing. 

'One hour? Okay, one hour and then we'll see who manages to write more applications. Winner gets, hmm, one wish. Anything? Yeah? Let's go', he cheers and starts typing right away.

... he coexists with you in silence. Grocery shopping, cleaning, reading, whatever it is, he doesn't force conversations. Eye contact, gentle smiles, pointing at items, that's already such richness of mundanity. 

'They have your ice cream on sale', he informs and watches you hurrying down the isle to grab some packages, happily smiling at him. 

... he directly teaches and explains things. He doesn't leave room for any condescension. If you don't know something or make a mistake and he knows then he just explains. If you want to learn something he already knows how to do, he offers to teach you if you want. 

'I know this choreo. Want me to play dance teacher?', he asks in a laugh, happy at the thought of spending time with you while you explore your interest. 

... he simply assures and compliments you. 

'You're doing great today', he beams when you tick off another point on your to-do-list and later on doodles a little smiley face on the bottom of your paper. 

When Kai makes you comfortable...

... he takes interest in your interests to genuinely connect with you when you share pieces of your realms of curiosity. 

'Omg, the new episode of your favorite show is online', he informs you in excitement and watches you grabbing your phone to check it yourself. To the question if it would be fine if you watch it now, he just nods and asks if he can join you. 

... he reserves spots for you. In restaurants and cafes he always makes sure you have a place to arrive to when he is there earlier or you are definitely running late. At home he has one plushie that is assigned to you, so it can occupy a chair or one side of the bed, keeping others away from your destined space. 

'Over here', he says loudly when he sees you entering the cafe. He towers over the present people and waves you over to his table, where an empty chair and a cookie or fruit bowl or whatever snack you like, is waiting for you. 

... he laughs with you. He genuinely enjoys your humor and he will not leave you hanging whenever you are telling a joke and make a sassy remark. When you are being clumsy, he laughs it off with you. There is no second of insecure embarrassment when he is around. 

'Yo! I tripped over that exact edge yesterday, too!', he squeals as he holds you by your arm to prevent you from falling and bursts into laughter simultaneously with you when your eyes meet. 

... he lets you be shy. You talk too quietly for people to understand what you're saying? He translates calmly and with a sense of protection over you, his expression telling the listener not to dare making an unnecessary comment regarding your behavior. He lets you hide behind him when you are too shy to face someone or something. 

'Come here', he whispers when he notices your shyness and opens his jacket for you to step closer to him where he can hide you between the fabric and his body, telling people who look confused, that he's freezing a bit.

... he always responds to you. Any question you could possibly ask will get a useful answer and even if it's just him informing over his state of uncertainty regarding a topic or a repeated answer to a repeated question. He doesn't waste time engaging in the reality in the form that  it matters to you.

'Yes, of course I'd love you if you were a worm'; 'My first thought is that I don't mind either, but I feel like I tend to prefer pizza over burger today'; I said it minimum hundred times already, but here is another reminder: You look great and I am going to cuddle you to sleep in every state of your body'. 

[windser]

what about.. cuteness aggression with sylus like i lowkey wanna bite him (lovingly)

 a/n: thank you so much for your request ... i apologize in advance bc i took this and ran with it under the excuse of been wanting to write sylus/mc sparring for agesssss. but you did get your bite in!

you fell back and the room around you capsized. it required a few moments longer to gather your senses but then you shifted quickly to avoid being pinned. from your position on the mat, you spun your body and brought your foot down behind sylus' knees and grinned proudly when stumbled down to one.

“and that is how hunters get it done.” you panted out as you lurched up to pin the man with your body. however, you weren't fast enough this time, however, because before you knew what was happening, sylus had you once more on your back as he straddled your waist, hands were pinned on either side of your head.

“cute, kitten,” sylus said, leering down at him from above.

this had all started with a light challenge. an attack more on UNICORNS then you specifically, when sylus outwardly commented on their faults. but you naturally took it personally, as you were trained up by the organization.

at the sum of it, sylus just wanted to see you properly trained for what you might encounter in the n109 zone. but you were determined to prove that you came packaged with all the necessary skill sets.

“i don't want to hear it” you grit out, yanking your arms and bending at the knee. it didn’t dislodge his hold on them, but it set sylus' equilibrium off long enough for you to rotate your hips and strike the taller man's side with enough force to knock him off.

you kept your own momentum to roll again, snapping your leg out to kick at sylus. “you forget who held their own at-ugh!”

the man seized your ankle and tossed off your balance. within seconds, sylus had you falling ass over tit until your cheek was pressed against the floor with your arms pinned behind you.

“come on, sweetie, is that all you’ve got?” sylus drawled. “and you were so sure of yourself a minute ago.” he leaned down to peck your cheek mockingly.

you snarled at him in frustration and snapped your head back, harder than was probably called for.

you managed to catch sylus on the chin and the man swore. he shifted but didn’t release your hands. instead, he transferred both wrists into his left hand, pressed both knees closer at your sides, and brought his free hand down against your ass.

you gasped and stilled, the sensation a surprise but not foreign.

“really, sy?” you yelped when sylus spanked you again. "sylus!"

"make me."

you wait with a baited breath for his next move, but all you get in return is the disappointing release of his grip as he calls for a timed break in favor of rehydrating. it was a mindful reminder that brought attention to your own parched throat from effort, but the desire to retaliate was stronger as you leapt to your feet.

if sylus had any hint to your action, it was muddled by the way he let the tackle send you both toppling to the ground near the edge of the ring.

if anything, the attack must have been equally warranted on his end as he returned the energy with a grunt. it was one of the more unrestrained tussle, a truth fight for dominance that still hinted at the same results.

sylus would win and you knew it—but that didn't mean you weren't going to make him work for it. and honestly, you got something extra out of it too. there was always something about the weight of sylus's body, the taut limbs and the real power behind it all that kindled this newly acquired thrill in you.

you manged to keep at it until you were twisted in such a way you could barely move. these were the moments when sylus showed the most expertise, favoring precision over pure strength. it wasn't until you tugged the last trick from your back, mouth finding the meat of his shoulder where you bit down just hard enough to bruise.

sylus hiss, something different than pain, until he reached the point where it was no longer a request for submission but a declaration. an effort that left his breath labored and his skin dampened from exertion as he pressed you back firmly into the floor, hand curled at the back of your neck.

"i think this makes me the winner, kitten. do you yield? " he drawls, words liquid heat.

your equally, if not more a mess of tangled hair and lips, yet you hold the stance of a stubborn bull as you blow out, "make me, honey."

"make you?" his laughter is thick and heady as it coats your skin. "i'm not sure there is much left for me to make you do. but i'm open to more options."

you turn your head towards him, watching as he licks his lips after he speaks in a low, husky voice. you realize that he does want you to make him -- he wants you to try your best until you get frustrated and hot, until you break free and nearly attack him with your mouth.

he wants to play this little game with you, get you all riled up, and get you on the bed without your clothes, to his mercy and his own rules.

he's not going to stop now and he won't stop then. he likes the flush of color dancing up on your neck and he likes getting you bothered.

he wants you and he wants you soon, so he's going to need to get you warm and sweaty and sticky.

and you were going to let him.

[astonmartinii]

HI! Hope you are well! I have no clue if you are taking requests or not, but if you are, could you maybe do a smau with carlos sainz x ferrari!reader? Where the reader is part of the ferrari family, and when her father passes away, she will take on the company? And like, all of the tifosi love her loads, bcs she's just lovely to them all no matter what, and they see carlos slowly 'fall in love' with her then soft launch their relationship, and it turns out they had been dating for ages? If you can, ty!!

are you going to be my girl? | carlos sainz social media au

pairing: carlos sainz x fem ferrari!reader

it's not a HR violation if you were dating before she became your boss and it's not nepotism if it's her company.

yournameferrari

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 872,309 others

yournameferrari: first race weekend, let's go girls 🏁

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user1: i am SCARED i am weirdly optimistic 🤔

user2: i have faith, the article about her and the whole new team... she's cooking

carlossainz55: excited to take her out for a spin

yournameferrari: lets keep all the spinning for the doughnuts at the end of the season please

carlossainz55: i'll try my best, no promises though

yournameferrari: okay stop commenting on my post and get ready to drive, you're wearing my name

carlossainz55: let me know when you want to wear mine

user3: yall it's not even been one race and carlos is flirting with his boss, they weren't lying f1 drivers really are fearless

sebastianvettel: feels like just the other day when you first visted the garage, you'll smash it!

yournameferrari: thanks seb! can't wait to see you again, give hanna and the kids my love

user4: i love that she's 23 but literally talks like a grandma

user5: the stress of ferrari does tend to age a person

charles_leclerc: forza ferrari ❤️ we'll make you proud

yournameferrari: i have all the faith in the world in you boys

user6: a ferarri owner who actually publicly supports the drivers? i've prayed for times like this

user7: ahhh i met her this weekend and she really loves the tifosi like she spent so long with us and signed as much as she could

carlossainz55

liked by yournameferrari, landonorris and 893,209 others

carlossainz55: great weekend all round, happy to be back on the podium - thank you to y/n and all the team for building us a car we can win in !!

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user9: don't shoot me but did we all see the way carlos was looking at y/n on the podium

user10: bestie i hate to tell you but there was like 100 ferrari workers at that podium he could've been looking at literally any of them

yournameferrari: you boys made the ferrari name proud this weekend ❤️

carlossainz55: couldn't have done it without you and the team

yournameferrari: you're too kind, take pride in your own achievements

carlossainz55: only if you celebrate with me

user11: are we witnessing the smooth operator in real time?

user12: it's like seeing a unicorn in the woods

landonorris: congrats chilli 🌶️ are we all celebrating or is it just you two?

carlossainz55: all of us? why wouldn't it be everyone?

landonorris: no reason ....

user13: maybe it's because carlos' eyes pop out of his head like a looney tunes whenever he's around y/n ferrari

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc

carlossainz55: you realise i get the notifications when you guys like comments, right?

landonorris: well my PR team wouldn't like it if i commented it myself

carlossainz55: i wonder if there is a reason for that 🤔

user14: carlando domestics in the comment section we are so back

scuderiaferrari

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 803,451 others

tagged: yournameferrari

scuderiaferrari: no race this weekend? we'll give you a #️⃣ asky/n to give you your ferrari content this weekend!

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user15: what is your favourite race?

yournameferrari: besides the obvious choices of imola and monza, i really enjoy suzuka and spa !

user16: who is a driver you would've loved to have managed?

yournameferrari: the obvious answer is michael schumacher, but i also would've loved to work with seb and kimi and jean alesi!

user17: how do you feel about taking over ferrari so young?

yournameferrari: it's definitely daunting, especially when no one really knew i existed. i was scared when it came to the staff overhaul as they had been there for so long and i was scared that it would massively backfire, but so far so good.

user18: tbf it's been a long time coming

user19: what would you do if you weren't owning ferrari?

yournameferrari: to be honest, ferrari and motorsport is all i have ever known, but, i also enjoy most other sports like football, ice skating and golf. but outside of sport i would've loved to pursue writing, i love poetry and essays!

user20: GOLF? cue carlos sainz in 3...2...1

carlossainz55: let's go for a round after my next sim session ⛳️

yournameferrari: only if you're ready to lose

user21: i am having ... feelings about this pairing

user22: how do you feel about charles' music?

yournameferrari: i always think it is good to have another passion, especially with how all-consuming formula one can become. i personally love charles' music and will often put it on when i do yoga or read (though my favourite is AUS23)

charles_leclerc: thank you y/n !!!

user23: is this *rubs eyes* an owner with a good relationship with the drivers???

f1gossipgirl

liked by user28, user29 and 4,130 others

tagged: yournameferrari, pierregasly

f1gossipgirl: AWKWARD MOMENT ALERT 🚨 y/n ferrari had harsh word for pierre gasly when they crossed paths in the paddock. gasly, whose dangerous driving put carlos sainz in the medical centre, seemed shocked that ferrari would have a problem with him. sources in the paddock said that ferrari admonished the frenchman, "you have a lot of gall in the media gasly, everyone saw how dangerous that was, you can't blame your own shortcomings on alpha tauri or adrian newey now. keep your car away from my drivers or we'll have a real problem." oop. allegedly gasly only replied with a wink and a "anything for you sweetheart" which caused y/n to storm off and knock his shoulder on the way past. who is in the right?

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user30: THAT'S MY OWNER RIGHT THERE

user31: y/n owned gasly

user32: not only was he dangerous on track he's also super disrespectful off, y/n is expressing her concerns over her driver who could've been seriously injured and he just flirts with her ???

user33: pierre is super in the wrong here but also it's so refreshing to see someone in management actually have the drivers back

user34: gone were the days of begging ferrari to even appeal penalties

user35: my friend was in the paddock and apparently vasseur had to hold sainz back after he was told about what pierre had done

user36: the way he's more mad that pierre disrespected y/n than nearly killing him

user37: idk why she's getting involved, no need to talk to the drivers like that, you're the owner, know your place

liked by pierregasly

user38: something insidious about the man liking a comment telling a woman to know her place 🤨

user39: he acts the victim in every situation and yet HE is the common denominator

user40: after ^^^ this whole mess i need carlos to scrap pierre

user41: i feel like he actually would that man is in love with y/n lol

yournameferrari

liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari and 903,451 others

yournameferrari: happy summer break everyone !! going into the break leading the constructor's championship lead is amazing but we aim to finish the season with both trophies back in maranello. see you in zandvoort x

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user42: A MAN?

user43: i was delusional to think that a young successful and smart woman wasn't cuffed :(

sebastianvettel: are you still planning to swing by switzerland?

yournameferrari: we'll be there!

this comment was deleted

yournameferrari: i'll be there!

user44: girl we saw that

user45: the way she posts her soft launch but deletes a comment that says she might bring him to visit seb?

user46: visiting seb is a big deal tbf

user47: the way carlos HAS to have her notifications on mans was here after 30 seconds

user48: has better reaction time for y/n's instagram post than a race start 😭

carlossainz55: working on my swing, ready for our round of golf

yournameferrari: get ready to be humbled

carlossainz55: if you're as pro as you say i may have to upgrade us to crazy golf

yournameferrari: as long as i get the red ball

carlossainz55: deal

user49: are we FLIRTING 👀 ???????

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, yournameferrari and 703,458 others

tagged: yournameferrari

carlossainz55: took a break from swimming to get my ass whooped by my boss on the golf course

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user50: oh the fit - Y/N CAME TO PLAY

landonorris: just how bad was the whopping? before i propose a paddock golf tournament

carlossainz55: she'll ruin the sport for you it's not fair

landonorris: you didn't put up any sort of fight?

carlossainz55: i TRIED but as soon as i saw the custom clubs i knew it was over

yournameferrari: i have a confession, i was literally on my college golf team, i had a lot of practice sorry x

carlossainz55: so you're basically a professional? that's comforting

yournameferrari: not really a professional but a very dedicated amateur

user51: babe you literally won the national championship at stanford stop playing with this man

yournameferrari: oops? 😬

user52: right, i don't mean to sound crazy, but i have a theory. the third pic looks very familiar to me, is it a lake in switzerland? the switzerland one SEBASTIAN VETTEL lives in and that y/n ferrari said she was going to visit this summer with someone?

user53: i fear you've made a point

user54: as much as they'd be literally the hottest couple in the world ... is it not a bit weird for carlos to date his boss? like... also what does this mean for potential favouritism?

user55: i get those concerns but we've already seen this season that decisions have been made both ways. unlike the binotto era ferrari actually are making the two first drivers thing work

user56: based on what y/n has said in the past i don't think she'd favour carlos because of a relationship, i think she's too ruthless to potentially sacrifice points to benefit her potential boyfriend

f1

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 1,239,861 others

tagged: carlossainz55

f1: the smooth operator is back to winning ways with his win under the singapore lights. it was a double podium for ferrari and a DNF for sergio perez means that ferrari are constructors champions once again!

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user60: Y/N FERRARI THE WOMAN YOU ARE AND HOLY SHIT HER AND CARLOS KISSING DID SOMETHING TO ME

user61: we really went from xavi and not having any tyres to proper professionals and the WCC trust the WDC will be coming back home soon

carlossainz55: tifosi, we'll get the big one next year ❤️

user62: CONSTRUCTOR CHAMPIONS AND YOU BAGGED Y/N FERRARI U WON AT LIFE

landonorris: so you made me find out with everyone else? i see how it is

carlossainz55: sorry landito, didn't intend for anyone to find out just yet but i guess i got a little carried away..

yournameferrari: a little?

carlossainz55: sorry but i've been good all year and finally got the win and the championship i couldn't help myself (you also looked so good sorry)

yournameferrari: i guess i can give you that (you're also very sexy post-race)

charles_leclerc: well i for one am super happy that i never opened the door when i heard a suspicious sound coming from y/n's office

yournameferrari: omg delete please i stubbed my toe i swear !!!!

charles_leclerc: no one is believing that i'm sorry

carlossainz55: we've never done anything untoward on ferrari property

landonorris: untoward? who are you?

carlossainz55: my gf is super duper college educated and it's rubbing off on me

landonorris: AHAHAHA RUBBING OFF

yournameferrari: 🤨

landonorris: sorry.

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, yournameferrari and 1,034,510 others

tagged: yournameferrari

carlossainz55: suprise ! i guess it wasn't to be just ours forever, but i love you y/n and will give everything to you and your name x

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user62: boyfriend in the first slide and girlfriend in the others he's so real

yournameferrari: i know this secret was hard for you to keep so i'm proud of you regardless, i love you 🫶

carlossainz55: honestly any time anyone in the paddock flirted with you i thought i would explode

yournameferrari: i've seen your dm requests, spare me

carlossainz55: but now they know, i can unleash all of my pictures of you and i can flex on everyone

user63: dream threesome list just got a new update

landonorris: first slide for me i know that's right

carlossainz55: i am forgiven for not telling you about my relationship? the two years were tough

landonorris: TWO YEARS?

carlossainz55: your tone sounds kinda off

landonorris: you can shove your first slide up your ass 👍 TWO YEARS?????

carlossainz55: tbf i couldn't really announce to the world that i was dating the woman who would someday become the owner of my team

landonorris: give me three business days and i'll be okay

scuderiaferrari: parents ❤️

charles_leclerc: happy for you guys but never ask me to take pictures of you again x

yournameferrari: you did such a good job though!

charles_leclerc: unless i see a photographer bonus in my contract i will not be third wheeling for free

yournameferrari: noted (you're not getting the bonus)

charles_leclerc: it was worth the try

yournameferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55 and 1,035,556 others

tagged: carlossainz55

yournameferrari: what a crazy first season. i am unbelievably proud of the boys and the team, we'll bring both championships back to maranello next season ❤️

view all comments

user64: she is everything i want to be

user65: tbf after last season i never thought we would win a race this season and her overhaul and ruthlessness has actually changed the game. also her and carlos are super cute

carlossainz55: i love you and thank you for our season. here's to the best winter break with you

yournameferrari: finally you can spend christmas the ferrari way

user66: how do we also get an invite to this christmas.. do you have any brothers? cousins? uncles?

carlossainz55: you're so so so beautiful, pretty, bewitching, ravishing, stunning and irresistible

yournameferrari: i love you too handsome

carlossainz55: can you also humble my dad at golf please and thank you

yournameferrari: we'll go doubles for the sainz golf tournament and have NO MERCY

user67: someone tell y/n the season is over and that she doesn't need to ruin sainz snr's christmas on the golf course

yournameferrari: the ferrari name never rests sorry not sorry

user68: yeah yeah the constructor championship finally came back to ferrari but this relationship is the real win from this season

user69: carlos finally found someone as old money as him

user70: and is actually old money, babes has that ferrari money

carlossainz55: i can retire early and be the house husband

yournameferrari: you will not retire early i expect you to be kicking it in that car until you're at least alonso's age

carlossainz55: but after that i can be the house husband a HAB?

yournameferrari: to your hearts content :) no one prettier i'd want on my arm x

note: hope you enjoyed i was BATTLING the writers block on this one lol. but i hope this is what you were looking for

[nothing0fnothing]

Most parents decide they're going to use their child's innate naivety and trusting nature to instill a sense of wonder. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, mermaids are real, Disneyland. All that.

My parents used it to create an invisible panopticon that only existed in my mind so they could easily deny its existence if I reported it to anybody.

Basically, was told at a very young age, that there were tiny hidden cameras I couldn't see everywhere in my home, and in my clothes, and in my school. They gave my stepdad 24/7 round the clock acsess to view me whenever he wanted to. He said these cameras could not only record my face, voice and actions, but that they had special technology that could read and translate my very thoughts.

I was at the "mermaids and unicorns are real" age, so not only did all of this seem totally plausible, it terrified me. I was changing under the covers of my bed, worried he could see me on the toilet or in the shower, and worst of all I started monitoring and censoring my own thoughts, convinced he could hear every one of them.

My mum noticed I had started taking longer to get dressed and ready than I used to, and asked why I was wasting time trying to get dressed in bed. When I told her about the cameras she tried to convince me they weren't there, and even did a sweep of my room to prove it to me, but I didn't believe her. I thought my step dad had so much power he could even hide these mind reading micro cameras from other adults. She just kind of brushed it off, assuming this was some silly thing I'd be over in a week.

I wasn't.

He kept reminding me of them, so I continued to be scared of them.

The second time my mother heard of these invisible cameras were when another parent, concerned, told her about it.

See I'd been playing at her daughters house, and I was asking her to call my step dad to ask permission for every minor thing I did.

"Can you call my dad and ask if I'm allowed to play in the garden?" "Can you call my dad and ask if I'm allowed to watch TV?" "Can you call my dad and ask if I'm allowed ketchup on my chips?"

She would assure me she'd asked my mum and my mum said it was fine, but I was adamant it be my step father she call. Eventually, she asked me why I was so concerned about his permission to do these things I'd been doing fine every other time I'd been at her house.

"Because he's the one with the cameras."

I said it so naturally. Like every family had a parent who had the cameras and another who was under surveillance by them. I was worried that if I conveyed the frozen still fear I felt over these hidden cameras, it would seem that I had something to hide.

"There's no cameras in our house so you don't have to worry about it." She tried to convince me.

"Oh no, they're in my clothes" I said. "They're so tiny they could be in a zip or a button or on my shoe laces and nobody would know."

She was, understandably, freaked out by this.

I'm not sure if she beleived my step dad had just sent me bugged into her home like a pervert or something, but I think when I started talking about how it can hear my thoughts like a regular camera can record voices, she realised that this was something else.

My mum pretended that I'd made it up and was lying for attention, even though she knew I wasn't. She knew that her husband had been terrorising me with these fake omnipotent cameras for weeks to the point I was losing sleep and dreaming about them. It was just easier for her to paint me as some kind of freakishly and manipulative child. It was really messed up, this woman's daughter was my only friend, I'd be friendless and alone if she decided she didn't want her daughter learning this behaviour from me.

The last time it was brought up to her was by my aunt. I'd had a bonding day out with her that ended in me crying on her couch after dinner. I vented about the cameras and how much pressure they were putting on me. I said I felt scared to be out with anyone, because if my daddy was watching and he heard their thoughts and he didn't like them, he could stop them from ever seeing me again. I knew she didn't like him, and he didn't like her. All he needed was video proof that she thought bad things about him and he'd have the perfect excuse to cut her out of my life. I didn't want that, I loved my aunt dearly.

My mum tried to pull the same "oh she's just making it up for attention" bit, but my aunt knew my step dad, and she knew he was exactly crazy and twisted enough to torture me like that. She believed me over my mother, and after that I never heard about the cameras again.

Over the weeks I wasn't threatened with them, I slowly started to think about them less and less. And by the time I stopped thinking about them entirely, I'd stopped believing in tooth fairies and unicorns and high tech invisible cameras that could hear my thoughts.

I never forgot about them though.

[indiscriminate-idiocy]

my favorite genre of Gundams and Gunpla is just when they let the designer go buckwild. Like the FA-78 Full Armor from Gundam Thunderbolt.

look at this dickhead. he doesn't need four shields. he probably doesn't even need two shields. and look at all those decals! fucking impossible to apply, most of them weren't even in the anime because fuck animating all that.

if that doesn't tickle your fancy, what about Full Armor Unicorn from Gundam Unicorn?

look at this fucking shithead. he has like a bajillion weapons. giant thrusters on the back that need their own little stand. this is the Real Grade so it's a bit more "realistic" but it's still fucking bullshit. absolute bullshit.

those are some recent Katoki designs (Katoki is the designer known for being batshit insane with his designs) but look at this design from the nineties. Ladies and Gentlemen, i give you Gundam Heavyarms.

fucking. bullshit. his chest and his shoulders open up to reveal a gazillion guns? ok. and he has another gun strapped to his arm? it's stupid, but it's not the stupidest thing so far.

THIS IS

ITS THE SAME SUIT BUT THEY STRAPPED THREE MORE GUNS ON IT AND HAJIME FUCKING KATOKI MADE IT

I KID YOU NOT WHEN I SAY THAT THIS GLORIOUS BASTARD HAS FILLED EVERY WAKING SECOND OF MY LIFE

I TELL MY MOM "hey mama, i just got a new gundam!"

AND SHE ASKS ME IF KATOKI MADE IT BECAUSE HE HAS INFECTED MY PERSONAL LIFE hes a fucking bullshit stupid man with too much time on his hands and i simultaneously hope he stops designing gundams for my sanity's sake and also i hope that he lives for a thousand more years and draws a ton of cool robots so i can build little plastic modesl of them.

[dunmeshistash]

About what Laios's curse is—I saw a theory about how Laios still actually is his monstersona, but he doesn't look like it or feel like it. Basically, he has his ideal body but is incapable of perceiving that he does, so he never feels fulfilled in that aspect.

Supporting evidence:

One: monsters stay away from Laios; this could be because they can perceive his "true form". The way the monsters act (like the cockatrice in the Kensuke omake) act afraid, but aren't magically repelled like a "curse so that Laios can never come close to a monster" would imply.

Two: the poop thing lol

Three: Laios's insatiable hunger. I always wondered why in the ending when he finishes a giant plate/bowl of food, his stomach didn't burst or anything. If he'd just had the demon's desire of always being hungry (pretty much), then wouldn't it be that he doesn't FEEL hungry, but his body still feels the consequences of it? Maybe he's actually his giant chimera form, so he actually has the stomach of his monstersona, and he never feels full as a result.

Counter points:

It could be that Laios's mana is "tainted/marked" and the monsters can perceive that and stay away for the most part. Though how it's "tainted/marked" and how the monsters can perceive it from far away is still a question. With the Laios is still a chimera theory, it makes a little more sense because its size would be perceivable from afar, but also it's unclear in what way his chimera form would still exist or be perceivable. Is it like on the same plane of existence ghosts are on, so monsters can essentially see a giant chimera at all times? Maybe with the cokatrice in the Kensuke omake, it was in a dungeon so maybe it thought it was hiding sufficiently?

The poop thing doesn't seem to result in Melini just having random forests everywhere, unless they have a plumbing system which I don't think they do?

Laios gets fatter. He likely doesn't eat enough to get a giant monster chimera fat, so it's strange that he gets fatter at all. Maybe it's some top tier illusion magic but idk?

Anyway, I thought it was an interesting theory!

Well he's physically wearing his cast off skin after he turned human again so idk about that.

The pooping thing officially stopped having an effect after a while

It is an interesting theory tho. I still think the curse is that monsters avoid him, the unicorns and wargs were there during the feast but not on the post Melini rising bits right? Perhaps they weren't affected right away cause they had already been exposed to Laios idk.

But post king Laios basically cries he can't see real monsters, I doubt he would be so upset if he could still see some monsters. In the end the effect is the same tho, regardless of the reason why.

Also about the Wargs, here's the monster definition from the bible's glossary

I think they still count as monsters.

[serxinns]

Fins and magic~

Yandere Mermaid 1a x mage gn reader!

Glad to be in @lady-ashfade collab event I hope you enjoy!

In a world where mystical creatures like unicorns, witches, dragons other animals that people think weren't real are considered rare valuable treasures or pieces of history that need to be protected and cherished, which sounds good but it was way more darker

Since people discovered that even a picture of a creature worth over 200k dollars people started to try and hunt down the creatures and take them to labs to study which can be described as hell and torture so mystical creatures are forced to hide their powers and change their identity to look more "socially acceptable" in order not to get caught

And thats where you came in you're just a regular high school student who lives alone with their pet cat in a small cozy house by the tides and beaches the reason you live out here but you like the water and view and there are more special items that can go to your potions, you would collect seashells washed up seaweed, sea plants and more! To the point people looked at you, some called you weird and some called you an explorer which gave you the nickname sea collector you didn't really mind the name and you honestly thought it was cool!

One day while you were gathering some items on the beach this time it was some seaweed for a potion-breathing potion you heard someone whimpering and smashing around you looked around to see where the noise came from and you landed on a small Rocky Hill peaked down to see a girl with a single black ponytail with Rudy red tail crushed under some rocks squirming helplessly

You looked around to see if the coast was clear and slid down to help her when the mermaid saw you her claws came out and started hissing and growling "Hey hey I'm just here to help you I swear" You slowly went up to her trying to feel of the rock her tails crushed under and you heard her hissed turned into a whine in distress "it's ok...I'm gonna help you I swear!" You said with a reassuring smile the mermaid calmed down a bit still in pain but seemingly trusting the human

You then begin trying to lift up the rocks you manage to pry off 2 out of the 3 rocks the 3rd rock tho was budged in there deep so using your hands was useless, you then got a stick and tried wedging it between the rocks then pushing down on it trying to open the gap enough for the mermaid to finally free itself quickly crawling its way into the water safety while you cheered for her at the end of the shore

You were about to walk away when you saw something shiny and round In the water you squinted your eyes a bit realizing it was a big pinkish white peral shiny brightly in the moonlight you held it observing it looking around to where it came from and saw there you saw the mermaid again smiling at you then disappearing into the sea

It's been a couple of days since you didn't see the mermaid again but her pearl still shined brightly ever since the day it was handed to you

But Other than that, everything's been acting weird around you, like there would be small pieces of jewelry and other stuff suddenly washing up in front of you, whenever you leave your stuff at the shore like your sock, pen, marbles, etc it's suddenly gone never to be returned and you swore you put it far away from the water

Another then if you would multiple figures from, the water watching staring directly at your house for a few seconds then jumping back Into the water .... Yeah after that incident you started making sure your doors and windows were locked up shut before you sleep

....

Momo couldn't stop thinking about you, your soft h/c hair, your adorable face, your everything! She just couldn't! She would always watch you from afar behind a rock Watching as you observe a piece of an item washing up on the shore momo blushed she had never seen a cute little mage like you she just wanted you to take you down with her so you could be with her forever but reality struck knowing humans and mages can't survive I the water

Izuku was the 1st to know his friend's strange behavior Watching how she suddenly left after the pod dinner and brought a piece of the fish to the shore when he asked her one time she said she was going to feed the shark mermaids which was weird since Kirishima, is the only shark mermaids they know for now

Izuku then talked about it with Iida and I thought it was weird too so the Two boys followed Momo one day and hid behind a rock behind her, a hour has pass as they saw nothing, iida just thought that momo just wanted to watch the humans so when he was about to swim out of his hiding spot nand izuku panicked trying not to blow thier cover all 3 of them stopped when they saw the human

Iida and Izuku couldn't pay attention to what they were doing like they were under a spell, you were so beautiful in their eyes the way you giggled and had fun playing with your pet and ran out, the way your h/c hair flowed in the wind, and the way you were running around without care so free in those things you humans call legs, the 3 mermaids were all so mesmerized by the new human they have to have you heck WANT YOU

Momo turned around and saw the 2 mermaids staring at Her human she snarled at them, causing them to flinch back "Why are you staring at what's MINE" "yours?! Since when did you claimed them?" Izuku said glaring at the female iida broke the two of them up "now its not the time to fight let us go before the other humans see us" izuku and momo both stared at each and reluctantly agreed

they quickly swam back to their cove where they were met with the other mermaid tribe all suspicious and worried about their whereabouts, iida then reassured them it was nothing but Izuku interrupted him saying they saw a kind human, a magical human! everyone then gathered around the three of them asking questions about the mage, "they were so lovely their laugh their hair and everything" "perfect to be a mate.." iida murmured just imagining the possibility while momo glared at the both of them

"Noah they sound so manly"

"and cute!"

"Maybe they'll perform magic with us!"

"Do you think they'll like dead fish as a gift"

"OF COURSE NOT SCOTCH TAPE THEYLL PROB LIKE WHAT I BRING THEM"

Ever since then the mermaid fixation was all on you whenever someone mentioned your name they felt warm and fuzzy they wanted you to be their mate their little mage they would fantasize about you having a cute little mermaid tail would it be black Would it be orange would it be mult color or a great shade of f/c? Yea thatll prob suit you!

But they were all too scared to come up because the two-legged monsters were prob gonna hurt them so they came up with a plan to finally meet you! To be their mate~

you were sleeping soundly in your bedroom the only sounds you could hear were your soft snores, your cat's soft purring, and the waves accompanying your room until the pearl started to glow brightly, you glanced at the glowing pearl and grabbed it, you grumbled trying to find an off switch "Follow the music..." you jumped hearing the sudden whisper in your ear you looked around seeing who was responsible but you heard it again this time it was coming from the now glowing pearl..

"Listen to the pearl follow the music"

You were confused until you heard some music playing You know where and tried looking around to find where was this music coming from, you looked out the window and realized it was from outside but it was cold so you grabbed your slippers, a scrap your jacket, the pearl and your staff and stuffed them in your bag and looked closely out the window one last time to observe where the song was coming from you heard some singing a male singing...

You look quite divine tonight~

Here among these vibrant lights

You slowly open the door and creak the open peeping to see where was the beautiful singing from... realizing it came from the ocean you grab put on your slippers get your bag and staff and quietly go out the door observing the beautiful singing It was so addicting and alluring.

Join delight surround us as we sail~

Signed yours truly the whale~

You then heard multiple people joining in the song not just men but women too... you looked around desperately to try and find the singing voices looking around in the water then suddenly you see it no them

Joy's Mirage's kingdom come

No one left at stake

You then see about 20 mermaids in the water coming together and singing a beautiful song your eyes widen as you go closer as the mermaids all spot you the mermaids are in shock at your beauty giggling and gossiping at one another about you, you then suddenly blush in embarrassment, Momo then swam u to the shore and reached out her hand to you, you hesitated since you spotted her sharp claws but momo gently smiled signaling you they were gonna harm you, you then pulled our your arm to the mermaid and she sniffed it a bit and hugged you tightly

You blushed and were adored by her sudden action it made the other mermaids jealous so they all swam up right beside her with open arms trying to do the same which you giggled "Guys guys! I got enough hugs for everyone" You then went up to each of them and hugged them, they then started to introduced themselves with gifts along side it as a greeting

Izuku: a con shell

Iida: a chain necklace with a cotton cap

Shoto: a shiny small crystal

Tsuyu: a shiny rusty fork

Ochako:some beatiful coral

Bakugo: a Shark tooth bracelet

Denki: a worn out watch and a kiss on your handn

Mina: a pretty pink dead seastar

Sero: a dirty looking doll that look like you

Kirishima: Shiny Rock

Momo: a adorable pearl necklace

Jirou: some sea flowers!

Hakagure: a Musicbox

Ojiro:a Cup!

Sato: some Gold coins

Aoyama: a Mirror!

Koda: a torn up plushie!

You put the gifts in your bag and thanked them when you saw how the sun was going up soon you had to leave "I'm sorry guys I gotta leave soon I got to school in the morning but we'll meet each other every day!" They all whined they didn't want you to leave them so soon! Momo even gripped your hand a bit hard but you Glanced at her and smiled "I promise!" You quickly got her hand out of her grasp and quickly left waving behind her they all waved and shouted bye at you as you left their sight to their sadness

They didn't want to say bye not yet not ever! They'll find a way.. they'll do anything for you to have you by their side forever~

Dolphin divider by @anitalenia (for the cute dolphin dividers!)

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

OOH ! I have an idea.

The team is at a diner and a little kid drags his mother over to them by her sleeve, saying he didn’t think cowboys were real!!! Like mermaids and unicorns and all that. And cowboy!reader takes a photo with the kid and is all cute saying ‘fur the recurd, cowboys are very real, and that lov’ly lady over there *points at JJ* is a mermaid! but you can’t tell anybody, that’s dangerous huh?’ And the kids jaw just drops and JJ is like why is this child staring at me. Cowboy gets to fill her in later that he told the kid about her magical tail and such.

- 🦕

The only thing that might class as a warning is its the English spelling for mum and all that aha

Taglist: @xweirdo101x @xdark-acadamiax @ara-a-bird @heidss @chubbyboyinflannel @pendragon-writes @migwayne @bigolgay @technikerin23 @supercriminalbean @honestlycasualarcade @caffeine-mess @1s3v3n1 @oddmiles @kevyeen @stealing-kneecaps @criminalskies

"Mummy! Mummy! There's a cowboy!" You look up as the mother shushes, "But Mummy I thought they weren't real!"

"I'm really sorry," The mother looks up at you, flustered and you give her a smile.

"Mummy! Can you take a picture of me and the cowboy! I need to show Eddie! He doesn't believe in cowboys either!" The boy begs his mum, pulling on the bottom of her jacket as he does.

"I'm so so sorry,"

"Ma'am, its completely fine," You reassured, "I don't mind takin' a photo," The mother gives you a grateful smile as the boy flings his arms around your neck with the biggest grin for the photo.

"I thought cowboys weren't real! Like mermaids and unicorns!" The boy exclaims, "This is the best day!"

"What d'you mean mermaids aren't real?" You asked, "You see that lovely lady over there with the blonde hair?" You point at JJ and the boy gives a nod, "She's a real life mermaid,"

"Whoa!"

"Yep," You said with a nod, "But you can't tell anyone, okay? It's a secret,"

"Okay! I won't!" He exclaimed before leaning close, "She's a really pretty mermaid,"

"Yeah," You whispered, a smile coating your face, "She is."

"What about unicorns?"

"What about 'em?"

"Are they real too?!"

"Oh, yeah!" You exclaim, "You see that lady?" You point to Garcia, "She's in disguise, she's a real life unicorn." The boy gasps loudly, the team turning to you both with a curious look and the boy shrieks.

"They looked at me!" He grins, "Best day ever!"

"Alright Mister, time to come and eat your food," The mother laughs slightly.

"Don't wanna leave the cowboy," He pouts.

"Hey, you gotta listen to ya Mama, a'right?" You look at the boy, "Even cowboys gotta do what their Mama tells 'em," The boy looks at you seriously before nodding.

"Okay!" And with that, he gives you one last hug before running to his table.

About thirty minutes had passed before JJ and Garcia turned to you.

"Why is that little boy staring at us?" JJ asked, Garcia nodding in agreement.

You grinned, "Well, he told me he didn't think cowboys were real, like Mermaids and Unicorns... So I kind of told him JJ was a mermaid and Garcia was a unicorn?"

[australianklaviergavin]

OTHER DESIGNS: Baby bunny Trucy, Uendo lizard, Prosecutors, Aura Blackquill, Clay Terran, Bobby Fulbright, Skye Sisters, Valant Gramarye, Iris Wilson, Datz Are'bel, Mael Stronghart, Enoch Drebber, Satoru Hosonaga

AUXILIARY POSTS: modpoppy's Uendo, okartichoke's Caracalvier, Iris 1.0

Compiled here is almost every single design sketch I've done for this... AU? It's my nonsense, take it or leave it! The tag for it is "#The Great Detective's Animal Attorney", but the prefix is mostly for filtering, I just call it "Animal Attorney".

I must disclaim that this is not meant to "compete" with any other AUs or designs! They're all real and I hope my dognix can be friends with yours.

The below post has my designs for the Gavin brothers, Maya, Fransizka, Phoenix, Athena, Sholmes, Lord van Zieks, aaand a teeny Harebrayne. Sadly, no Apollo this time, all his art is doodles and I hit image limit anyways! Him and Trucy may get their own post soon, however!

These were all done with my non-dominant hand, and Athena was done on a Magma board, if that explains the anything.

The Gavins are the first ones I really did, and they're both caracals! I've kinda wanted to go back and change Klavier a bit in regards to an insane headcanon, but caracalvier is too iconic like this, I just can't do it

Putting Maya and Fran together, cause they're both kitties! If Maya was a specific breed, then I forgot, but Fransizka (and her dad, by extension) are both oriental longhairs. If I weren't presently injured, I'd draw a scrungly Manfred, but alas your mind's eye will have to do the work.

Phoenix is a puppy dog! Very very nearly made him a hyena... But I couldn't. I couldn't reconcile it with Ryunosuke. I have a Yeenix in the back, for any interested parties

LASTLY for my main-series designs is Athena! She's a seal. I don't think I had a specific reason besides not being able to get ears to fit with that ponytail... Might change her to a sea lion, though!

AAAAND TGAA BONUSES... Aka the Barokorn Cinematic Universe

Sholmes is a lion (with his sad little low testosterone mane)! He was easily the hardest, as I went back and forth... Alot. He was a pigeon at first! I contemplated rabbit..? But I tried to steer away from the mascot designs, generally. I'm happy with the decision of lion, however, mostly cause it gives him fun symbolism with the whole Professor thing.

The van Zieks-es are unicorns, and Bunnybrain is a pony! I could go more in-depth, buuut that's kinda spoilery

Ryunosuke and Kazuma (not pictured) are both puppy dogs, and I think I settled on bunny for Susato?? To make her pops a bunny also? I also have some sketches of her as a sugar glider, but I don't really like most of their art 👎 so there's a couple gaps here

If anyone wants to (??!?!?!!) you can use these designs for pretty much anything you want (and feel free to extrapolate upon the rest of their designs, most of these are very limited), just make sure to tag me, partially for credit, but also because I'd just REAAAALLY want to see... They are my babies, my world, I think I might break down into tears (/pos) BUT ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU ALL. THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME AND I HOPE THIS MAYBE MOTIVATES YOU TO DRAW SOME SILLY ANIMAL ATTORNEYS OF YOUR OWN!!

[glitter-sprinkling-capricorn]

I really want to be delulu, I really do. In Delulu Land it's warm and cosy, pink candyfloss clouds everywhere, unicorns🦄, swirlies🍭 and rainbows🌈 and of course Nicola and Luke together in a relationship, happy, after good sex, cuddling in bed. I would like to believe that. ❤️

But I can't.

What follows are my thoughts and feelings, I'm not saying it's true, I've been wrong before...

On 24 October my plane🛩 landed on German soil at 1:45 a.m., I had mobile data again after 7.5 hours and thought: you had the feeling that something was going to happen tonight, but you're an adulting adult now and don't look at your mobile phone.

Then the people on the plane were too stupid to get off. They were all scrunched up at the back, the plane went up at the front and everything stood still. And I sat there with my broken arm, annoyed and exhausted and just wanted to go home.

Then I thought: oh yes... then take a look.

dudumm....

What will I see first? JD and Nic....

You know I didn't notice any sexual tension. Even after NY I was still like: yeah well she got scared... I wasn't worried - in hindsight, I just didn't want to see it.

So I thought: ok JD and Nic then so if they are happy go ahead....

Although to be honest I have a problem with the age gap for various reasons which I can go into if anyone is interested.

But because from the bottom of my heart I am a person who means it when I say: if she is happy, I am happy.

I think JD is a nice guy and I could imagine that they have a lot in common. For example photography, they have the same circle of friends, so why not.

And that doesn't stop me from believing in Lukola in the long run.

Second topic and the reason why I'm writing all this: Luke and Antonia:

I just ignored her for a long time. She was simply non-existent in my orbit, now you know how delulu I can be 🤣

I always thought I was getting weird vibes from her, kind of arrogant, not real, fake smile. And that wasn't someone I would want for Luke. I also thought for a long time that they weren't even together anymore and then her Spain photos came along. I grudgingly accepted it and continued to ignore her as much as possible.

Yesterday I saw a video with her and her friends and I saw a real, lively, funny, friendly girl.

And somehow, without actively wanting to, I made my peace with her. If this girl in the picture is what she usually shows of herself, I can understand what Luke might see in her.

Again, I'm not thrilled with the age gap. But again: if it makes him happy...

And again: that doesn't stop me from believing in Lukola in the long run.

I would like to believe what is so beautifully portrayed in delulu, that JD is just the distraction and that Luke and Antonia are long gone, but....

I can't.

I will always sprinkle glitter but I also have a rational side and it can't overlook certain things.

I had to get rid of that. It all boiled inside me for a while.

[thefakehedgehogaroundhere]

my mom did way worse, i really wanted a hedgehog so she wrote me a letter and said it was from the home owners association, and it said i needed to live in a rural area to have one.

i think sonic can be any pony species he wants to be. i still say pegasus tho

[sol-consort]

Cyberpunk progress so far

I met the most drop-dead gorgeous npc in the history of npcs and did a photoshoot

I've only attended like 2 or 3 ceromones so far but

I've decided that this man will be my sugar baby from now on and the donation money is just his daily allowance, I'll keep giving him as much as the game allows me too, he's MY babygirl <3

Talking about money, I've collected a shitton from doing everything but the main quest progression, like 51k so far. Went back to pay my ripper and...

when I first started I thought it'd be cool not to have any cybernetics at all, like just a fully organic human and do badass shit. But when offered the choices of any amount of chromes I could afford when paying the doc, I couldn't resist the temptation

apparently, I'm the type of person who'd fully stuff themselves with cybernetics at the first given chance. I plan to go even higher.

I'm sure there is a correlation somewhere between living with chronic pain, a weak immune system, an uncooperative body, and general fatigue & fainting to becoming "synthetics ROCK fuck my fleshy mortal prison" type of person pipeline.

So now we know what my fate would be in cyberpunk, neat.

No game breaking glitches, but there have been funny moments every now and then. Like this npc who died in the "praise the sun" position. Or that one time I summoned my car and it fell out of the sky, upside down, onto the nearby parking spot. I tried to flip it over but I couldn't so I just gave up and walked the distance.

Walking in this game is genuinely super fun? You always find something new. Not necessarily a mission, but just general interesting things to see. Like that one time I saw a guy abusing his gf near my apartment and I beat him up, or that other time I was driving home and came across a police/gang shootout. The ads never disappoint, so global warming is in effect and still taking a massive toll on the planet, whole countries are flooded, and the media's reaction is to celebrate opening the first android sex club in Antarctica.

When the TV segment is something I've seen before, I just look at the ads!

Like this one ad about a whole mechanical unicorn oh my god fuck me that is the most cyberpunk thing ever. I was so excited and imagined riding it on the street instead of a motorcycle, does it also gollap like a horse? Is there a knight outfit I can wear? this is so fucking cool please let it be a real mount I can buy. I want my robot pony and I want it NOW!

And then.

I noticed the horn moving a little too... much.

:(

They weren't selling a robot horsie motorbike.

I was doing a mission and came across this view

I was genuinely shocked. What kind of sick individuals would tie a guy to the window and leave he starve to death? What a poor fella, what a horrible way to die. These goddamn gangs are so disgusting. Were they torturing him??

But then, when I went outside a second time, I recalled a very familiar window.

Oh.

This is the window where I killed some rando punk before going in.

They didn't do this to him.

I did.

I've also met the hottest woman alive, I want her, I NEED HER. When she yelled at me and called me bitch after her goon bonked my head, I swear my heart fluttered.

I took her money, of course I did! I would've taken a strand of her hair if only she'd allow it. Hell a used tissue would be welcomed as well.

But I didn't use the money, I just killed the guy instead :)

Because

It's HER money, It's a priceless souvenir. I'm keeping it with me at all times.

He called me princess, what a fucking creep.

I'm not paying for something I can steal I'm not an idiot

I want the extra xp

Jackie looked at me like a kicked puppy when I told him to sit down, that scum was as good as dead the second he started harrasing MY BROTHER.

And if you're wondering how my sniper build is going. HORRIBLY, that's how it's going. I'm like a captain with no ship, a spider with no prey, a tiger with no claws. I haven't found a single fucking sniper since I started and I'm lvl11 now. I've visited different shops multiple times and not one of them sells a sniper? I've been rocking with a pistol and it's super embarrassing. I feel like an action movie barely clothed woman side kick who's only given a pistol to carry in that dumb hands raised next to her head stance while the main coolguy protag has TWO rocket launchers on his shoulders with a big obnoxious grin.

Lastly, I figured out you can swim! That was a pleasant surprise. And it's not just empty water. There are kelp and algea growing in there. Haven't stumbled upon any fish yet, but the thrown trash and electronics in the water might be the answer to why.

I'm currently at the heist part of the main mission, I went back home and changed V's hairstyle, haircolour, and eyes for full immersion since it's undercover and all.

[captain-jacks-coat]

Fluid - a poem by me

Six years old in the supermarket

You made me make a choice

A calendar of green or pink

And I dared use my own voice

I said I wanted dinosaurs

You said it made you sad

That I didn't pick the unicorns

So I learned my voice was bad

Seven years old in the playground

Watching all my fellow girls

I suddenly felt lonely

I couldn't live in their world

I turned myself to stories

Because stories weren't real

My friends became the characters

And I refused to feel

Eight years old writing fiction

In the worlds inside my head

I made my main character me

But I was a boy instead

This boy, he had a girlfriend

Beautiful and kind

With fiery hair and a pretty dress

And I never spoke my mind

Nine years old in the classroom

Learning about long ago

I'm told to pick out costumes

So we can put on a show

All the boys get chainmail

The girls each get a dress

And I'm confused, I want both

My head is such a mess

Ten years old and singing

With everyone in class

And looking back on this moment

The closet was truly glass

They split the class in boys and girls

One for each half of the song

I stood in the middle, unsure why

I didn't know where I belonged

Eleven years old and learning

That love's more than black and white

Realising that I'm in love with girls

Led me to too many fights

I learn the word "transgender"

I say "maybe that's me"

But no one will explain it

So I just let it be

Twelve years old in high school

New friends, new life, new games

I learn the term "non-binary"

I give myself a new name

And though I think I'm sure of it

Sometimes I'm filled with doubt

When people deny the things I say

And I want to scream and shout

Thirteen years old and in love

She teaches me so much

I hate myself but I love her

And for now that is enough

Dysphoria is like a plague

Heartbreak is my best friend

I'm too hurt to figure myself out

I just want life to end

Fourteen years old and healing

I'm chronically online

A new family who teach me

What it's like to be alive

I learn a new identity

One that I think fits

"Gender fluid" it is called

And I think this is it

Fifteen years old and still not there

There's so much more to learn

But I've got a life ahead of me

And I've got friends to earn

I'm proud of being fluid, though

The people make it tough

Despite the comments, stares and hits

For now, I am enough

One day I am a teenage girl

One day I am a boy

Sometimes I'm neither, or I'm both

But I am not society's toy

I wear high heels and wear a dress

I get myself short hair

In jeans, a cap, crop top, a skirt

Expression everywhere

this is awful but oh well

[assjuice4ever]

Listen to my rant:

Young Gojo after the vessel saga, knowing you for the first time. A new student.

And you are a bastard. The type of person that should be called a curse and probably wouldn't care about human or soccer alike. He doesn't like you. Not because you don't care about people, he is a bit like this too even if he is changing now, but because you are the worst little shit around. You don't care about Yaga, nor about him being the best, about school or fighting curse. You just care about yourself and doing whatever you want.

You're strong, not as strong as him, nobody his, but strong enough to survive. Whenever he sees you fight, he can't help but think that you could cover his back, not because he can't, but because you can, that when things will go down one day you will be there with him and Geto.

He still doesn't like you even when you start to prank him and he pranks you back. And you two are like idiots who nobody can stand but it's funny for him. Instead of thinking about work and killing curses he is trying to think how to get you back for glittering his shampoo and making his hair look like unicorn vomit. His head get a bit lighter whenever something similar happens.

Then he starts to talk you. Talking for real, not just saying thing like "How did you like your coffee?" after putting the salt were the sugar was. Most of the time you two don't say anything really important. Fighting about what to watch on the common television, or discussing about how Yaga was going to lose all his hair, in his opinion Yaga would start to go bald from the forehead first, with the hairline retreating, for you, Yaga would start to go around with a carryover. It was always light-hearted and relaxing.

With time something shifted and the two of you started to talk about dates. How the girl he gave his number to tried to call him "her boyfriend" after two minutes and how fast he ran away, about how the guy who hit on you looked like the type of man who used the deodorant Ajax instead of showering.

Not you nor him were shy about talking of sex when it was just the two of you. Gojo wasn't stupid, he noticed how you were the only one student who didn't care about "love" or "romantic things". He was a bit like that too. He liked romantic things, singing out of somebody bedroom to ask them back after a fight, buying roses and holding hands. But he didn't have the time and mostly, he didn't like anybody enough to put that much effort. And the two of you were the only two who were actively fucking around.

The talk weren't totally shameless, it wasn't like he described the size of somebody boobs or the ass, or anything else. More like how his last girl was crazy and told him to make her a "baby mama" or how one time he left some money there because he felt sorry about leaving the girl alone in the morning before realising that he acted as if she was a whore. You told him instead about the weird shit. The guy who asked about a blow job while driving in the exact moment you sat in his car, the girl who didn't know how to kiss and the slap she gave you after you said that she kissed like a dog ate. He knew that one time you fucked a guy dad and mother because he insulted you.

Most of the times the guys and girls you went out with were shitty in his opinion. You could do a whole lot better but it was like you didn't care and whenever he told you that you just shrugged.

Then Geto went away. It crushed him. It was like his heart was ripped from his chest. He put his heads on the work without doing anything else other than that, eating, bathing or sleeping too. At least for the first week, then he started to tone down the work because of you.

He still didn't like you but you literally went out of your way to destroy the papers which had written down where his missions were. You did it in front of him with a smile. Before starting a fight on how fucking bad he smelled and how he needed to wash himself. He did that just to shut you up. And then you took him out for dinner just to get your food payed in one of the most expensive restaurants.

You start to do that so often that he had to tone down the work to not lose the documents considering that you found them wherever he hided it, even the one Yaga and the other superiors had, and destroyed it every time. He had to wash himself because you didn't shut up until he was clean and ready to go out, he had to eat a lot because you started a voice on how he was able to eat a pussy in the same way he was eating in that moment and that he fucked just because he was cute not because he was able to. It was a stupid thing but you were able to get on his nerves and he wanted just to prove you wrong. You took him out, for dinner so he paid it for you, to shopping to make him pay for you, to clubs, to buy cars before getting kicked out because you two were too young, and in any other place that you wanted to go.

It was so annoying that he started to let the sadness go to have annoyance for you take its place.

One of those days he met the people that grew you. Not your family, just the guys who were paid by your family to grew you up. And he got why you were so fucking annoying, rude, vulgar and devoid of empathy for nearly everybody. They were like that too.

It stuck with him.

He couldn't imagine growing up Megumi in the same way. He wasn't always there for him, like those people weren't always there for you. But he wasn't so devoid of care for him. Sometimes he checked himself to not act in any way that those two people could.

He didn't get how you still were affectionate to them.

He asked you about it. It was the first time that you two weren't talking about trivial thing. You had a pensive look before saying that if your clan died, or your parents, you would probably be depressed for one day but if that two people died you would be sad for way longer so for you they were your parents and probably they would be sad too if you died because you, as a person, died, not because you, as a sorcerer, died.

Gojo still didn't like you after that talk. He still didn't like you after all the time you two hanged out together. He still didn't like you when one day you two were in an arcade and a man hit on you, seven or eight years older than you, with a bit of a beard and a not so horrible face. He still didn't like you when the old geezer asked you if you wanted to play with him. But, maybe because he was a bit irritated that he tried to hit on you with him there, as if he didn't look so beautiful to make every single man retreat when he was near you, or maybe because it was the first time that somebody tried to hit on you in front of him since the day Geto run away, or maybe because he really thought that you could do only better, because you were too pretty for somebody that pathetic, he interrupted the man while he was asking your name.

"Do you wanna go back and fuck?" Gojo blurted out. If you were anybody else you would have slapped him and he would have been okay with it because he really sounded like a douchbag.

Instead you said "Okay", took his hands and went out of the arcade.

You two didn't go back to the dormitory to fuck instead you two went to a combini to buy ice-creams.

You didn't ask him why he acted that way and it was better like that because there weren't any excuses. It wasn't like you needed to be saved, it wasn't like you didn't know how to tell a man off. One day he saw you literally telling a guy that he had "small dick energy" and you weren't into that shit.

It was when he saw you again the next week that he asked you "What if we started to have sex?". He still didn't like you. You were annoying, rude, vulgar, cheap and messy, if he didn't consider the fact that you were the prettiest woman alive and you had a way to make him feel better by being so shitty there wouldn't be anything really good about you as a person. But the idea of having sex with you didn't left his mind for a week and he needed to take you out of his system.

That evening you two slept together and you got him addicted.

Since that day your routine was pretty much the same just with the best sex in his whole life in the middle.

Gojo could fuck you every single day of his life, every single moment and he was sure he wouldn't get tired of it. Not when being inside of you and with you felt like paradise. It was liberating, his head was always without a single thought inside other than you.

And it was horrible. Because he smelled your perfume constantly on him, the taste of your skin in his mouth, the sound of your moans on his head, the imagine of your perfect body convulsing for the orgasm printed on his eyelids every time he closed his eyes. He couldn't go a straight week without having you. You cursed him and he was totally okay with it.

gojo didn't know how but everything in his life started to be perfect during that time. Then Shoko one day asked him what he was going to do for his "girlfriend" birthday. As if you were his girlfriend. And then Shoko called him an ass because he was doing nothing before telling him that if two peopld fucked constantly and everybody knew it and none of them went out with anybody else, and if this two people had a date every single week then they were a couple even if they didn't call themselves that.

It opened his eyes.

He broke things off with you the day of your birthday and went to fuck with somebody else because he didn't like you.

It was horrible. He had to think of you to get hard and he didn't even come, he just got angry because you said okay without a tear, without screaming or cussing him out. He had to dress himself and got out of the room leaving the girl there, before breaking something for the anger.

Everything changed after that. No more tour to restaurant, no more movie nights, no more breaking into private swimming pool, no more anything. You didn't even fight with him to watch your shows on tv.

To be fair Gojo didn't really saw you around the school at all and everything was so boring because of it. He didn't had anything funny to do nor anybody interesting to talk. And it was so annoying not having you squeezing his cheek before kissing him, or having you play with his hands, or you pulling lightly at his hiar whenever you felt like it, or not to hear you complaining because his hands were too cold and you didn't want his dead cold hands on you. And it was too calm without fights because you flooded his bathroom every time you bathed, or because he had to eat sweets in front of you without offering you anything because they were his.

He hated how he had to stop every time when he was thinking something stupid while outside and you weren't there to hear it and how he couldn't make inside joke when they were hella funny. And he couldn't message you about anything because that was what couples did.

Everything sucked.