#Ugh my net is acting up again.

[on-the-clear-blue]

Dead Man's Diner pt 6

Bruce's eye twitched as he forced the well-worn grin on his face.

It was a subtle thing, one that Tim would have thought he had imagined if he didnt know better, but he did.

Across from the both of them was Vlad Masters, he was a tall man, taller than Tim but still shorter than Bruce, all of him screamed rich villian, that is other than the way the second Bruce made a comment off hand about the Gotham Knights football team.

It was then the cruel looking man melted away, and Vlad Masters devolved into a chattering 40 something that knows far too much about the Green Bay Packers.

"Oh if I could go back in time and see that touch down again I could die a happy man" Vlad said with a wistful looking smile on his face, eyes glazed over in memories before he seemed to snap out of it and shake his head, a light dusting of pink came across his cheeks, lighting up his papery skin.

"Ah...do please forgive me...I seem to have gotten a tad bit carried away..." Tim bit back a scoff as he leaned back into his chair, they had been talking for almost a full hour and nearly all of it was Vlad ranting.

Bruce let out a small chuckle that sounded fake even to Tim, "No worry Mister Masters! Perhaps next time the Knights go against the Packers we can share a box!"

Tim knew this was to help sell the whole 'Brucie' act, but he still couldn't keep the cringe on his face, "B? Um...the Knights are a minor leauge team they...ugh forget it." Rubbing at his eyes, Tim cut off the words that Masters looked ready to say, "What was it again that you asked for a meeting Mister Masters? Something about..."

Looking down to his tablet, Tim sent a check in timer, if Vlad was to strike it would be soon "some sort of collaboration? With your subsidiary Axion Labs?"

Masters seemed a little taken back from Tim's thinly vailed bluntness but pushed onward, "Of course, my dear employees at the labs have been working on an interesting new energy source! You see it's fully green and has a positive net energy production." He paused for a moment and a sneer like condescending grin got plastered on his face, "That is Mister Wayne, meaning it produces more energy then we put in it."

Bruce's eyes crinkled as his cheesy grin could only grew more, "Thank you! I was just about to ask, my dear boy Tim here is far better at understanding all that...wiggley wobbly science things!"

(Liar) Tim thought before sending Masters a bashful smile, "I know enough that what your saying is astounding to hear...why come to Wanye Enterprises with this?"

Masters grin was predatory as he spoke smoothly "Well~ Lex and I have a...bit of a history so I couldn't possibly be able to work this with him, Queen Industries are more biotechincal in nature, while WE is far more wide spread! Not only do you have a tech division, but also medical, defense and mechanical divisions!"

Things were clicking in Tims mind, Masters wanted to use WE to distribute, make them stake their own reputation for what Masters was peddling.

Bruce's persona was slipping slightly, his blue eyes steely as he looked Masters down, "We will need a working concept before we can press onward for anything else."

Masters kept the grin on for a second longer before it slipped, "Of course, I will go above that and even send my two top scientists here to demonstrate-"

He was cut off by a shrill ringing coming from Tim's tablet, making him wince as he rushed to imput the code for the check in timer, sending the man a small smile Tim spoke, "So sorry about that, I thought I put that on silent...but do look at the time Bruce, We have a meeting with Lucius in twenty minutes, did you get those slides done?"

Sending Bruce a sideways glance, Tim watched as the man stiffened but shook his head, "I did not. I am sorry Vladdie, but we will have to cut this short, I am sure you know how many meetings it takes to run a company...but please, do meet with Maddie my receptionist to schedule those scientists of yours to come over yes?"

Tim could have sworn he saw a blood vessel pop as Masters hissed a little before he gave a terse nod, "Of course...Maddie you said? Yes...I do think I will speak to her." The man seemed to calm rapidly at the name, and seemed to almost float out of the meeting room.

---

Bruce let his persona fall the same time his head fell into his hands, the heels of his palms rubbing at his eyes.

There was silence in the meeting room, he could hear Tim's fingers pattering against the tempered glass of his tablet, and the soft chatter of the office from the outside and the ever faint sound of wind whipping around the high rise tower.

Picking his head up, he looked to Tim, doing a few hand motions, "DO. BUG. SWEEP" Getting a nod in response, Bruce went over the meeting.

Something was definitely strange about Masters, he was only 48 and yet fully gray, his skin was waxy and looked translucent, deathly pale, he had a cain but didn't have a limp.

Not to mention a seemingly tense history with Lex Luthor, to the point he would seek out WE instead of Lex for his seemingly miracle energy source and-

"Clear B, not a bug in place. "

"Hn" Bruce grunted in response, trying to get his brain back on track.

The energy source was another thing that was sticking out to Bruce, it sounded far too good to be true, it broke the laws of physics to-

"Bruce? What do you think of him? Suspect or...?" Tim spoke again, and Bruce let out a small sigh, his deductions would have to wait till later.

"I think we will need to monitor him closely, I have Drs Fentons are his lead researchers..."

---

Scrunching up his face, Danny stuffed his face into his elbow before sneezing thrice, groaning for a moment before he straightened up, rubbing at his nose, the Halfa came over to the sink in the kitchen of the Diner.

It was his second day as an over night chef and he was honestly having fun? Like cooking is so much cooler when the food wasn't actively reanimated and trying to kill him.

The diner was at a new place, now it was on the old rail ways that ran through Park Row, or how the people that lived there called it Crime Alley.

He had been nervous at first, because he had felt the familiar shiver of entering another beings haunt, but thankfully the diner was stationed just out of the haunts bounds.

Biting back a little yawn, Danny flipped a page in Lunch Ladys, only to see the recipe shift and change, going from a tuna casserole to one for a classic chili.

Blinking a few times at the book, he sighed, "Well alright then." Taking note of the ingredients, Danny drummed his fingers in the book, it was obviously more than just a simple cook book, with it, you know, actually shifting and changing each page.

Shaking his head, Danny straightened up and stopped leaning over the counter, "So...Spooktastical Chili? No that sounds dumb...Cursed Cauldron Chili? Closer..." thinking out loud, Danny set a massive pot over the stove, flipping the flame on as he work shopped cheesy names for his new dish.

---

Jason had an itch.

The kind that just wouldn't go away no matter how hard you scratched at it.

The problem he couldn't get even a second of relief since the itch was in his chest, right dab in the middle.

Rubbing at it as he groaned, Jason rolled off his bed and stood, it was late, he had finished patrol an hour ago and he just...

Felt the itch to do something, to go see something that was just right out of reach.

Sighing as he stumbled around his room, grabbing discarded jeans and an old hoodie with the arms cut off, slipping them on as he left the small bedroom of the safe house.

Stopping in the tiny kitchen, Jason did his best Bat glare (tm) at the empty refrigerator, letting out a grumble as he slammed the door closed.

"Fuckin...shit." flipping the cabinet doors open he glared at the small tub of mostly empty peanut butter and sleeve of crackers that were clearly ripped into by a rat.

"Fuckity fuck fuck..." sure there were spices, so many spices, but he wanted to eat, not cook, Alfred had spoiled that feeling into him through many years.

Slamming them closed as well, Jason growled as he stomped over to his boots, toeing them on before he stormed out of his safe house, fumbling with his keys to lock it behind him.

And with that he set out on the Alley, letting his feet carry him through the streets, he waved at some of the friendlier working girls and boys, but kept walking.

It took a moment for him to realize where he was going, to that little mom and pop diner that closed years ago, they used to give him left overs when he was still one of the dirty street rats trying to live...

"Since fucking when did the lights in that place turn on?" Stopping outside of what he had thought was a clossed down diner, Jason squinted at the banner stretched above the doorway.

"Big C's diner? No...old guys name was like Tony, so ain't their kids that wanted to take over..."

Before Jason could stop himself, his hand was already around the door handle, and he was pulling it open.

[nicole-husker]

I woke up in bed. I'm already drenched in sweat, ugh the fans in my pig pin never get in my folds. Forced to stay on my back, I turn my head (as much as my fat neck allows). I forgot, you left me to sleep in the mobility net, hooked to the ceiling. I'm actually sorry you had to.... I know at my size... It's hard ... You have to give up so much... I'm crying a little but I see what I was looking for, on my side table, next to my oxygen tank, was my phone. I use ALL my might to lift myself up a little, just to reach my massive fat arm over to it. The meer act of holding an arm up burns, it hurts so bad! My muscles can't... Not that I even lifted myself... But my arms? Well ... You had the doctor's take my purple feet.... But my arms are almost as useless as my legs... Only I can't even move my legs anymore... I realized my heart monitor is going faster, probably because of the.... "Exercise"... After huffing and puffing, I lean and reach again, my fat swollen fingers getting closer! But I fail and blop back on my back....

[yuukei-yikes]

Do you have any headcanons about Hibiya's relationships with the rest of the Dan after the series? I was always a little disappointed we didn't really get to see him interact much with anyone besides hiyori, konoha, and momo. I would have loved to see him properly integrated as a member of the group and hanging out with them 🥲

YESSSSS I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN MEANING TO DRAW HIBIYA HANGING OUT WITH EVERYONE SEPARATELY TO LIKE POINT OUT DYNAMICS but then i never did 💔 i still will at some point

hibiya is the mekakushi dan's little brother.

0. ayano's big sister radar goes off incredibly fast when meeting hibiya. she spoils the hell out of him because hibiya is largely independent and already has momo as a big sister for emotional stuff so when ayano's like WANT ME TO PATCH UP THE HOLE IN UR SHIRT hibiya's like what. i know how to do that myself. and ayano's like fine i will buy your love if i must. so she's always taking him shopping and asking if he needs anything new. he comes back every summer to the city with broken ass sandals and ayano's always sending him back with shiny new ones. he still rly enjoys having her around but he looks at her more in a motherly light than sisterly. he'd DIE before admitting it tho

1. srry to play the cooking card with kido again but. hibiya and kido cooking together :) i think kido is very impressed with hibiya's cooking and hibiya is SUPER used to being taken for granted so when they point it out to him he almost bursts into tears. i think hibiya is always looking for compliments from kido bc kido is super cool and The Leader and they kinda have a teacher's pet dynamic LMAOO hibiya is always asking kido if he can help with any chores so of course it works and he's kido's favorite student. if this was a class which is not. so he's just a rly helpful kid kido enjoys having around and hibiya loves that kido is really normal. also kidomomo. yeah. hibiya and his lesbian moms. also kido teaches hibiya how to bind. ratio

2. with seto... i remember reading this fic in ff/net back in the golden days of kagepro (so like. 10 years ago) that was like hibiya resenting seto bc he was still hurting abt hiyori and while everyone died with a loved one seto lost a DOG. i thought it was so funny bc it's so immature but seems so in character for hibiya. also in the novels when hibiya is unconscious he's taken to seto's room. i think hibiya thinks the whole dan act like fools (bc they ARE) but kind of respects and looks up to seto because hibiya is 12 and according to my intensely calculated family headcanons was raised in a toxic masculinity household so he sees this Buff Guy getting up at 5am everyday and holds more than one job for his family...he's like (nod nod nod) and he also really respects how seto refuses to use his eye power because of its. erm. unethical nature. hibiyas like UGH SETO IS SO COOL SUCH A MAN'S MAN. seto is mostly oblivious to this and always always always ruffles hibiyas hair. everyone does this but seto is the only one hibiya doesnt yell at

3. i think kano would go easy on hibiya cuz he's a kid but not entirely bc if kano isnt totally insufferable to everyone he knows at least once a day he gets sick and dies. i think kano tries to do the big sibling thing abt convincing the little brother of a total bullshit lie like basically his hobbie is gaslighting hibiya for fun. hibiya goes screaming for kido to make him stop lol. also kano's the one who's always saying shit like hibiya is 8 years old. even when hibiya's an adult kano's like how old are u again. u turned like 15 right

4. man mary tries acting SOOOO GROWN UP to hibiya she's like desperately trying to seem like a cool older sister but on purpose. with everyone else it's kind of natural but she is actively trying. momo bestie so also around a lot and sees how momo (hibiyas big sister #1) acts around him and tries doing the same and hibiya's like. this is pathetic. but still endearing and accepts it LOL he's also respectful of mary bc he's well aware of her role in their survival so he's like SIGHS okay

6. takane is everyone's demise because she introduces hibiya to smartphones and gaming. like hibiya rly wanted a smartphone right and then he makes all these friends and has to go back to the village so he takes an intensive course ran by takane abt how to use a phone. which is all good. but the thing is she is ALSO like ur so weird kid. here. play some amongus. this is how amongus hibiya can still win. everyone like vinnie hibiya cant be a fortnite kid bc he has no idea abt gaming he doesnt even have a phone WELL i got news for u buddy my fave character is takane and im also totally delusional. she is the reason hibiya is texting the gc in total typos asking if anyone wants to among us. and he's so thankful to her he expresses his gratitude thru sending her amongus and minecraft memes he finds around that she's seen a thousand times but it's rly endearing. also hibiya is shintaro coded so takane knows how to handle him sorry im so delusional abt their friendship (holds their chapter together from novel eight close to my chest)

7. eheheheheh. like i said. hibiya is shintaro coded like in canon both momo and takane say hibiya reminds them of shintaro like he's a little shin. and momo adopting hibiya means shintaro gets little brother by default too. his ass is always at HIS HOUSE!!!! i talked abt this in a post once abt how seeing hibiya and momo together makes shintaro want to try a little harder at being a big brother. i think they like each other and shintaro always lets hibiya sit in his room if momo is being too insane, and hibiya sometimes is like well shintaro's actually pretty normal!! (immediately sees him act a fool bc ofc he does) eugh. also shintaro helps hibiya with his summer hw, i think hibiya's a good student but appreciates the help and tells shintaro he thinks he'd make a rly good teacher and continues writing down on his hw all casually while shintaro has to act like he didn't get all choked up hearing that

9. i've talked abt the haruka and hibiya shitshow lol but again i love the idea of hibiya just totally refusing to acknowledge konoha's gone and keeps kicking and screaming abt it. bc if konoha is rly gone then it means he regrets everything bc he was so mean to it and its bc of it hiyori is alive (hiyori doesnt act this way bc she's well aware of it) and that SUCKS. so hibiya largely avoids haruka and isn't all that into how hiyori is really accepting of him and all. and haruka is also like. awkwardly trying to approach him because it's the least he can do in konoha's memory but hibiya's like hissing at him. eventually hibiya would accept it after a couple breakdowns. i think momo also punches some sense into him. i want hibiya to lash out at haruka and scream all sorts of things at him abt how it's not fair konoha is gone and like who even is he and just overall say all the things haruka is already super insecure about but then it ends on hibiya sobbing in his arms abt how much he misses konoha. and haruka can only hug him back and apologize :(

[blurglesmurfklaine]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

gonna unofficially thank @forabeatofadrum for this tag bc she said whoever wanted to do it and I wanted to so here it be!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

49??? What when how did that happen??

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

706,964 woah so not quite a million but uh I have shit to say apparently

3. What fandoms do you write for?

46 of the 49 fics are glee lmaooo, two are Newsies and one is Roswell, New Mexico! I anticipate more Newsies (Javid) fics to come because I’m obsessed

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

There From The Start

Cornelia Street

Here We Go Again

An Honest Man

If Music Be

All for Glee: Klaine!

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to respond to as many as I can, but I usually forget lol. If someone leaves an insightful comment though it will usually spur a long conversation in the comments and I LOVE IT

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

If The World Was Ending bc they uh :) die, technically speaking

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhhh probably every other one??? I really don’t like sad endings so most have a happy ending, but i actually really like the ending to Stick Season because despite it being so terribly emotional and angsty, I feel like the ending is a turnaround and really hopeful!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? A few annoying comments telling me characters wouldn’t act this way, and one asking me “where my creativity was” which rubbed me the wrong way but I try to focus on the positive ones! Those definitely linger in my mind longer 💞

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Don’t look at me. Yes. Sometimes. Idk man sometimes those dudes just need to fuck it out???? But I usually only write it if the story feels like it’s naturally going there. It’s never really porn for porn’s sake (for clarification there’s nothing wrong with that we all love a little pwp), it’s usually the sappy emotional kind that’s mostly feelings and vague descriptions. it’s definitely not my forte and something I still get a little embarrassed and self conchas about lmao

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not recently but I did have a Supernatural/Glee crossover a few years ago (shut up I was 16) and honestly it was loads of fun! Blaine was the child of that Gay Angel and Repressed Bisexual Man. Absolutely a slay

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so? But a few old ones from my fanfiction dot net page ended up on one of those search engine thingies??? Idk how to explain it or how to take it down but honestly… I have bigger problems lol

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but if anyone ever wants to let me know!!! It would make me so happy!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yeah! Quite a few actually. I usually do the franken-fic every year and I did the roulette challenge and that m aforementioned crossover was actually a collab! Some of my favorite memories was writing the final chapter of A Night At The Ryerson House with @esperantoauthor 💞

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

OOF. Okay so. With 46 fics on AO3 you could say Klaine has a special place in my heart, buuuuuuut…….. my best friend introduced me to newsies in April and I seriously think it did something to my brain chemistry because Jack and Davey own my entire ass

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Ugh. I’m so fearful that I’ll never finish Amidst The Chaos, which I LOVE but takes so much out of me. There’s also one I’ve never posted called “Strangers Again” that involves like timeline jumping but in a romcom way that I’m not sure how to go about??? Also the community college one. I have so many.

For Javey I tried writing that Spider-Man AU but like. I need to re do the entire first chapter. I absolutely hate it actually and I think it’s because I don’t have a clear vision of what exactly I want, but I know what I DO NOT want????

16. What are your writing strengths?

Uhhhhhhhhhhh I’m actually not sure entirely? I’m gonna go with dialogue bc that’s usually how scenes come to me first.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Scenery/setting/sensory, world building, plot points, physical movement holy fuck do not get me started when That Guy has to move Across The Room AHHHHHH I wanna tear my face off

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Love it! In my brain Jack Kelly is Mexican because I love to project, and I’ve got a wip where Blaine is involved in a Hispanic community (no he’s mot Hispanic he’s just got a Mexican friend who is an old lady and also Catholicism is involved it’s a lot to explain okay go with it) so I like to use it, but only in a way that feels natural to ME based on MY experiences. Different people have different approaches!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Glee!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Oof. This one is hard but I think it’s an even tie between Here We Go Again and If Music Be!

Tagging: @somefeministtheatrepls @somanywords @justgleekout @kurtsascot and anyone else who wants to try!

[waitmyturtles]

I was following Bed Friend, episode 4 right up until the second-to-last scene (although I think I can get my interpretation straight on it once I’m done writing) -- but anyway, that scene of Uea chatting it up with that dude at the bar threw me a bit.

BECAUSE, as yesterday’s reviews noted -- King was king in this episode. Catching Uea’s anxiety! Helping him to relax! The birthday cake! Uea’s SMILE at the birthday cake!

AND, AND: the “I”-speak -- King saying he doesn’t want to see his family because of his mom. Embodying what Uea can’t bring himself to do (yet). 

AND: King’s presence in the office. I’m here, Uea. Solid. You need me, I got you, and I’m gonna remind you. I can help hold you down when you need me.

AND: good god. The poisonous aftereffects of filial piety. The fact that Uea’s mom had to get his sister to get Uea home. TAKE A HINT, LADY. THAT MOM IS SUCH AN ABUSIVE JACKASS, FUCK HER (sorry for yelling), UGH. 

And the flashback scenes. AND the step-dad trying to talk to Uea. The lonely birthdays. GAH. My Uea. Families can really SUCK SOMETIMES.

This episode held a LOT, and I think with a touch more sophisticated writing, it would have held together better. Like I said, I think up until that drunk scene at the bar, we saw the emotional processing between King and Uea really get underway (and man, Net is acting the HELL out of King, BEAUTIFULLY). I can’t wait until Uea feels comfortable enough to confide in King. We see it getting there -- which is why that bar scene threw me.

But -- so now I’m wondering, because I’m processing while writing. Was that bar scene meant to indicate that Uea is still back-and-forth on his journey to healing? That he’s susceptible to relapse, to hiding away from King again while he’s getting closer to King? Maybe. In which case -- WOW. THAT’S actually sophisticated behavioral representation. I’m just not sure it was done quite right to close that loop.

But it’s a minor quibble. This was a wild, traumatic, and lovely episode all at once. King being Uea’s healer (and maybe even Uea being King’s healer, too)... the motif of softly blowing cool air on wounds. That was lovely. I’m fully invested in this show, although I’m concerned for the preview throwing in what might be yet another traumatizing character.

[giggly-squiggily]

AAHHHH EPISODE NAGI!!! I need to know your thoughts!! You can put a spoiler warning for other ppl maybe? PLEASE I NEED TO KNOW 🙏🙏🙏

JQNSNWNSMS YES! When I reblogged my original post earlier, my brain was still kinda fuzzy- but I’m good now! I’ll be more than happy to share :D

Spoilers below the cut!

I think this goes without saying but I FREAKING LOVED IT!!! I loved seeing Nagi’s perspective on the events of season 1! From the opening where we learn a little bit of his life prior to meeting Reo to his thoughts during the various matches- all wrapped up on one big Nagi package! I was giggling the entire time whenever he was on screen: he’s just so CUTE!

“Nagi of the living dead” made me cackle so hard he is ADORABLE!!! And using the goal netting as a hammock until Reo was all “Hey don’t you want your phone back?” Cause his video games are his go to’s 🤣🤣🤣

Also can we talk about Zantetsu? I know his whole thing was brief but what we got of him was so good anznannsns they really introduced him putting his clothes on wrong like- my guy AHBXBSNXNSN I do like the moment in the baths with Nagi and him and all the feels that came with that; it was small but it made me really like our lovable idiot! 🤣🥰💖

Y’all- this movie made me love Reo! Listen- I wasn’t a hater, but I also wasn’t like; Reo’s biggest fan either? It’s complicated. But now I’m 100% down with Reo- he really grew on me this movie and I liked how we got his thoughts and feelings after Nagi left him. It really added a layer to his character and made him out more than just a guy who was feeling petty. (Which- we all knew wasn’t the case in the season but like, having that confirmation was so good??) Also seeing the post credits scene with him giving Nagi his gloves and being supportive- they made UP Y’ALL AHHH! 😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I’m so happy I can’t even begin to explain it!

A lot of the movie though was rehashing the season: which isn’t a bad thing cause 1.) Nagi POV and 2.) I got to see Chigiri on the big screen and y’all don’t even know how happy that made me! Raichi was hilarious as ever- I loved his “straight out of your nightmares, pal” line; he sounds like Cartman and acts like Sanemi and he’s just the best! 🤣🤣🤣🥰🥰🥰🥰

Ugh god I loved this movie so much! I will admit; and this is my own fault really- but I was kinda disappointed we didn’t get the post Rin match fights with Barou and Chigiri. I thought the second half would be a continuation of when after Isagi left, but that didn’t happen. Again- it’s my own fault for assuming that was in it: it didn’t take away from my experience or joy watching the movie at all! I just wished we got this scene animated:

Who knows- maybe season 2 will have it??? I just really wanna see Chigiri and Barou being looney tunes anznannsns 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Again; not disappointed- the whole movie had me giggling and laughing and kicking my feet and excited from start to finish. I adored it very much!

Those are my thoughts! I probably have more but as of right now those are what comes to mind! When it comes to crunchyroll I’ll definitely be rewatching it again- Nagi’s faces alone are hilarious, and Reo is becoming a firm favorite! It was truly amazing!

Thanks for asking!

[justanotherfanfolks]

Twisted Wonderland Main Story Scattered Thoughts (Book 1 Chapter 5-8)

Another Twistune already? For moi? Oh TWST, you shouldn’t have! Okay, making a mental note: Poitionology is their first period. I wonder if their schedule works like high school or college. Hi Professor Crewel! …again, why isn’t he ??? ? It’s Dae-vus?! Oh, I’ve, heh, been saying that wrong. And will probably continue to do so because I’ve gotten used to it. What is mycelia? I mean, I know mycelium is a type of fungus, am I close? Ace, your special skill is memorization. Well, not rote memorization, but still. Rote memorization is my special skill! I usually end up using it for less important things though, like remembering too many facts about this game and pi. History of magic is period 2. Trein! Lucius! Heh, everyone’s always sleeping when I do history lessons! Y’all are yawning? I want that textbook, give it here! Coach Bargas! So Period 3 is PE. I wonder how many periods there are? No! No raw eggs! 20 laps? No sir, I’ll die after 4. My middle school PE days are behind me, never again! And I can’t even do one push-up. Deuce here to slay. No, watch Deuce say magical application right after Ace says that! Oh no, Grim’s on the loose! Where is he going? Grim, no! Don’t blow stuff up, we have Ortho for that! If I had a nickel for every time Grim needed to be chased down… I love Ace and Deuce’s prices for helping, iconic. It’s a deal. Ace, it’s giving Azul. The WORST Prefect? This is such a friendship. I don’t think we give Deuce enough credit for the absolute menace that he can be! THE NET THE NET! Grim-lin. They really want those treats! Oh my gosh! I was literally just thinking about Grim getting crushed by one of Deuce’s cauldrons and it actually happened! Yes perfectly in sync, as they should be! They earned that dessert!

The return of the battle! There is so much player engagement in the main story, I love it! Grim, you literally just started! How are you already bored of class? Well, actually, he acts exactly like my classmates during the beginning of school years. Sometimes I forget I’m a nerd and enjoying lectures is not the norm. Cafeteria! Some of my favorite vignettes happened here! Grim is so excited about the buffet. Side comment, in Jade’s labwear vignette we find out that Silver eats the mushroom risotto every day during lunch. Honestly, same. I am exactly the same. Have you guys ever heard of a chicken patty? Ugh, I love those! Best day of the week for elementary school me. And when I leveled up and went to schools that offered them every day, I was living the dream. I’m picky with bad intestines, I can’t eat anything else. Now I want a chicken patty… Okay, side piece over. POV: Grim is too short to reach the buffet. “Delinquent” oh no, confrontation. Wait, we have former delinquent here, oh no. “M-my carbonara!” I’m going to pretend I know what that is. Broskies, it’s a buffet. Just get another one! “HANGRY!” Grim’s going to commit a violence now. Ok, I looked up the carbonara and I’m seeing pictures of spaghetti with an egg on them. Deuce: Um, excuse me but fighting with magic is against the rules. He’s being a good boy. You know what, sorry another side tangent, I’ve always wanted to see a story with a magical school where people could go HAM with their magic. I mean it makes sense why they can't, but I wanna see it. I do love how they can use magic outside of class, though. I can’t remember which franchise it was, but I remember a story where the characters weren’t allowed to use magic outside of class and I was like “it’s a MAGIC school, why not?!” My pet peeve is magic schools not letting the students use magic outside of class, cause that’s lame. If I had magic, the spells would never stop. Okay, other tangent over, man I need to focus. Oh these are Heartslaybul guys… Interesting… Oh, I think they want to commit a murder, actually. What- where did the blonde dude come from?! Maybe I wasn’t paying attention. 12000, RIP they’re stronger than Cater! Wait, actually there are 3 of them. Doing the math, assuming they are at equal power level, that puts them at 4000 each. Ahahaha, I could demolish them in less than a turn. “But only ‘cuz I don’t want my pasta getting cold” excuses excuses, but a good one, cold pasta is sad. Yuu: I guess this is my life now. Why did you miss breakfast, Ace! Someone feed this boy! CATER AND TREY! Cay-Trey! Uh, does their duo have a name? Anyway, I love these two! Cater explaining the premise. Cater is a menace, actually. “I’m just a friendly mentor figure!” What, you don’t like Deucey, Deucey? Well, in Japanese it’s “Deuce-chan” so I guess he doesn’t like being called cute. How the heck does Yuu know Trey’s name? Omg, Trey’s first appearance, I just realized! The whole Heartslabyul gang is here! Now we just need Riddle! I need you guys to know spellcheck wants me to change “Heartslabyul” to “Heart Lab Yulgang”. Homeboys were not paying attention during their orientation party, they can’t remember Trey or Cater. “That dump of a-ah, I mean the ‘rustic’ dorm”. Trey can be rude too. Cater is just, the hotspot for gossip. Trey knows all the tea by association. Ace, you don’t want to eat with Cater and Trey? But it’s Cater and Trey! Cater is so eager for digits, that’s rich coming from the boy actively avoiding close friendships. Ace’s big bro absolutely failed him as a Heartslabyul alumni if Ace doesn’t even know the rules are a thing. I mean, I guess Riddle’s the first to actually enforce them, but to not even know they are a thing? “A kingdom of weirdos” you guys are a dorm of weirdos too. But that’s why I like ‘em! Grim, shush, I’m interested! 

Ah, we get to see all the dorms! Heartslabyul really coming in with all the exposition! That is not hard to remember, Yuu. Dorm flavor, Trey has the weirdest metaphors. Flashback to Phantom Bride. JACK! Live Jack appearance, wow! “Muscly dog man, sure why not.” Yuu’s just shrugging through everything at this point. “Macho dudes? Gruff big brothers?” I love his dialogue. Octavinelle boy? AZUL! Cameos, cameos everwhere. I love how they use the armbands to tell them apart instead of, you know, the very colorful vests and color-coordinated magical pens they wear. I mean, I guess not everyone ears the vest. *cough* Cater *cough*. Gotta be from, okay no way, that’s the housewarden, you must know that Mr. Vice Housewarden Trey. Oh, they don’t know he’s vice housewarden, yet! *grins* Oh I can’t wait to see that. JAMIL AND KALIM! JAMIL AND KALIM! The Scarabia Duo! These two single-handedly made me get this game, Book 4 my beloved! Why are they eating with Azul? CATER! Way to insult my boy Kalim, ouch! Ace calling him out for going on a tangent. And Trey agreeing, omg! Wait, Kalim and Cater are clubmates. CATER THAT’S SO FAKE OF YOU! Those two are supposed to be chill, how dare. EPEL EPEL EPEL EPEL EPEL EPEL! My OG fave, HI BUDDY! … and Rook. *wheeze* THE GIRL! GRIM! DEUCE! The way they don’t seem to understand the concept of an all-boys school. The term all-boys implies, you know, all-boys. Makes me wonder about other schools. The conversation about dimensions is killing me, I love them! Why did that sentence finish after the tap? “Who cares how many dimensions” could have been a stand alone sentence because I think it’s funnier that way. OH MY GOSH 5,000,000?! “True dat”. The introverts of Ignihyde not even being there. Oh, hang on I just had a thought. Why are Kalim and Jamil there, they eat at the dorm? Did Kalim already blow up the kitchen again? Did Azul get Kalim to eat lunch with him and Jamil got dragged along? But what about Ortho “So Anyway I Started Blasting” Shroud? I mean he’s not officially a student yet, but he’s not quiet and serious, he’s a blast and a half! I, I want to see Ortho, I love our little robot boy. Engineering dorm! I am so fascinated by technology crossed with magic! “Diahonyalara” I can’t breathe! They have their own special seating area, I wonder if Diasomnia wanted that or if everyone just decided that was their spot and avoided going near them. ¾ of the Diasomnia Family of Four! Sebek! Lilia! SILVER! They don’t get dialogue until Book 2, right? Book 2 is going to be great. Little kid! Lilia being short and cute! LILIA JUMPSCARE! I LOVE PEEPAW! Sebek and Silver are just staring. Okay, Sebek may not want to be friends, but go talk to Silver he’s sweet! Lilia’s hearing is crazy. Cater again not mentioning his association with his fellow Pop Music Club member. Malleus namedrop! Okay, so the thing with being in the top 5: If you are considered to be in the top 5, you're in 4th or 5th place. If you were in 3rd or higher, people would say you were in the top 3. Makes me wonder if Malleus is 4th or 5th, and what the heck 1-3 looks like! Oh no, Ace is badmouthing Riddle, you know what that means. RIDDLE JUMPSCARE! Nooo, he’s standing right behind him and Ace doesn’t notice! I’m telling you, I miss Riddle randomly appearing every time you talk smack or break a rule! It was so funny! My boy really summoned a To Be Continued. 

[punchthewitch]

What Matters is It's Done

Monday October 23rd 2023

Hi.

It's nearly 9pm and I'm sitting here in my computer chair, listening to lo-fi, and ~feeling things~. In fact that's about all I've done today. My sacred day off. I day dream about all the wonderful things I'd do when I have nothing to do... and then I do nothing. ugh.

I suppose I'm sitting here feeling the sorts of things I'd like to tell someone about, but then again I struggle to talk to people. I have a loving father, wonderful friends, but I keep things from them. Most things. I had a therapist. Well, rather I had a couple of therapists but at the moment I'm "between mental health professionals". So I've decided to talk to you

*gestures vaguely at the crowd of crickets*

That's okay, I don't really need anybody to hear any of it, I just need it to be said. Whatever *it* is.

I've never kept a diary. I promised my therapist I'd try journaling. I lied. I think I'm afraid to see my own thoughts written out because it'll make them too real. I'm afraid that when I see what's wrong with me apparent on the page, I'll have to get better. I'll have to work. And work is hard. I'm already working hard. It makes me sick to my stomach. If it's "just a bad day" and I don't write about all the painful little details and all the ways I don't feel like I'm enough and all the time I spend looking in the mirror and thinking that I'm not, at my core, even GOOD at all... Well then eventually I'll forget it all right?

I mean, all that said, I do believe my life is moving in a net positive direction. I started transitioning this year. I definitely feel less sad. My lows aren't as low and my highs are higher. More good days than bad. and that's good. But I don't feel like I can trust myself to not fuck it up. Because even though things are better, I'm still me. And I've spent a long time hating myself. I've made a habit of it. Habits are hard to break. I'm trying though.

I'm a selfish person. I think so anyways. I try to do things to not be so selfish sometimes, but it feels like that in and of itself is an act of vanity. I have this friend, and they're having a rough go of it lately. Like they're objectively in a harder place than I am. And I'm always the first person they go to for help but I feel like I can't handle it anymore. I try to be a good person and help, I HAVE helped, I have BEEN HELPING for so long but it never stops and I feel AWFUL that I just don't want to be responsible anymore... I want them to hate me. I want them to be angry with me and hate me so I can stop. Christ what an asshole I am. To spare myself another ride to and from work, sometimes I'd rather everyone see me as the most deplorable girl in the world and then maybe everybody would just leave me alone. God I want to be alone. Just a while longer. It's not that I don't like people. It's not like I don't like this friend who I want to hate me... I'm just tired. and if everyone thought I was a useless wretch, then at least I could rest.

Rest.

I can't even do that right. It's not as though I don't get days off. I have weekends. I ignore texts and calls. I disappear into a sanctuary of blessed solitude from time to time and still I find ways to fuck it up.

Yesterday I met an artist that I really, REALLY admire. Just seeing her motivated me to work harder and create. I wasn't angry at myself for wasting so much time, just driven to do better. To be more like her... And today I didn't do a god damn thing. I sat in my computer chair, listening to lo-fi, and feeling like I fucking hate myself. I wasted another day. How many days I've wasted are too many to keep count. Fine. Whatever. I'll try again tomorrow I guess. Maybe I can be better.

I don't know if any of this made sense. I don't know if it was helpful. I guess that doesn't matter. What matter's is it's done. Talk to you next week.

-Sam

[kiwikiwikiwisstuff]

1-5

(In the middle of the acrobatics, both Kaito and Kumiko got a little closer to the audience, each one on their own… and at one point Kumiko approached the Hashiras, staring Sanemi in the eyes, taking the fan out of her face… sure enough, it was a beautiful girl, and time had frozen for a few seconds when they exchanged glances)

(In that moment when time had frozen, Kumiko had taken one of the fans off her and she was a beautiful girl, she only took it out for a second to smile flirtatiously at Sanemi. He stared at her stunned and in a pirouette she threw one of the fans at him. After that, she moved away. Sanemi was fascinated)

Uzui: Hey~ Sanemi, how charming (he was annoying him) Shinazugawa: (He reacted and was blushing like insane) S-shut up, idiot... (Kaito realized what had just happened, so when it was his turn to pass where the Hashiras were, he made a sudden movement just to scare them or at least get their attention. His gaze was unfriendly towards Sanemi, apparently he was jealous) Obanai: And in passing it seems that you gained a free enemy... Shinazugawa: What is his fuckin problem? (Once a few pirouettes around the entire tent, Kaito and Kumiko were doing their act completely together, almost dancing on a tightrope, between the two of them they were a good team) Rengoku: Apparently he wanted to mark territory… Shinazugawa: (Rolled his eyes) I don't care, she is just another girl and accidentally looked at me Obanai: You generally act more egocentric in situations like this, why do you act like you care? Shinazugawa: Iguro, what side are you on? I just said I don't care Uzui: You care~ Shinazugawa: No. Uzui: Youuuuu careeee~~ Shinazugawa: NO. Rengoku: And why are you blushing? Uzui: YoOoOoOu cAaAaArEeEeEe~~~ Shinazugawa: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

(On the other hand, Kaito and Kumiko were finishing their act. In the blink of an eye, both were gone, as well as the net that should have been down, had disappeared… the people were murmuring, until the music started again and each of the young people was already without a mask and finally the rest of the faces were revealed) Uzui: I didn't know that this was a beauty show... Rengoku: They look young... Shinazugawa: Idiot, they are like our age (The ten were moving to the sound of the drums and then they were already making shapes, they were all very coordinated, despite the difference in heights and complexions, it was as if they were all connected. A few minutes later, the music was going faster and They moved faster, they made shapes faster, their coordination and agility was incredible. Once the last figure was finished, a quite complex human pyramid, Kumiko was at the top and shouted) Kumiko: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Kumiko Hyoyuki, and this is my family, and we are part of the Hole of Sinners! (She jumped forward and the audience applauded in euphoria as each of the members waved, all smiling, even Kaito blew a kiss to his group of female fans) Shinazugawa: Huh, I think he likes the attention but I can't see the girl... Uzui: HAAA! YOU LIKED HER! Shinazugawa: NO! IS NOT THAT, YOU, MONKEY! Rengoku: Hey, Sanemi, didn't Uzui say he would pay you if you lasted the entire show? Uzui: SHHHH! Shinazugawa: Oh... you have a good point (he grinned in his favor) I won this bet, Tengen... (he was making a hand gesture) Uzui: Ugh, fine... (They were leaving the tent while Uzui searched through his pockets for his bag of money) Uzui: Heh? Where is it? (He widened his eyes as he was trying to find his bag) Sanemi: Don't bother Uzui: I'm not lying, where the hell is it? Obanai: C'mon, can we just leave? Is the first time in so much time we can have a normal night. You probably find it tomorrow, Tengen... Sanemi: No, Iguro, I want my money Rengoku: Ok, we will help to find your bag, Uzui Uzui: T^T Thank you, guys... (They were searching for a long time, the crowd had already gone home and they were still looking for the bag) Obanai: Ugh, what if we give up? Shinazugawa: No, I want my money Uzui: At least you have a motivation to look for my bag... (said it with sarcasm) Rengoku: At least he is helping (After a while, they heard noises in the distance. Everyone with a puzzled face wanted to get closer to find out what it was. You could hear a fight, it wasn't a demon, but…) Person: Please... stop, it hurts! Kaito: Oh, now you're shitting yourself! We know again that you are harassing that way I will cut your… Enko: Leave that bastard, Kaito, we will arrive late... Kaito: (gave a last fist and sighed) Fine... If it weren't for the fact that we have a deal with your boss, I'll kill you with my own hands. Ren: Hey, hey~ Kaito, we probably can give him another deserved punch in futuro, but now we must to arrive to the place and change ourselves... (Ren wanted to kick the man's ass too, but he only limited himself to spitting in hisface) Shitty people deserve shitty treatment Enko: Leave him alone, guys, and let's go, although… (he also kicked him in the crotch) Don't even think about touching Kumiko or any of our girls, okay, pig? (The three boys were leaving the place, with the man lying on the ground, crying in pain, it seems that the blows were too much) Rengoku: What will have happened? Shinazugawa: I don't know, but I must admit how the three of them were able to give that bastard a well-deserved blow Uzui: They talked to go to a place... It seems suspicious... Maybe we should follow them Obanai: What about the bag? Uzui: We will find it later... Now I'm curious about the situation... Rengoku: I agree with Tengen, let's go, guys!

[forgedraptor]

ngl if dream antis hate dream so much why do they keep replying and posting stuff about him?

like if you hate something dont you NOT want to see them on your tl?

the block and mute button is right there

if you actively interact with something you hate all the time, its not because you hate the person or thing anymore, because if you do, you would have avoided/blocked them

at this point, its because you WANT the FEELING of hating someone or something and the drama itself or maybe its because you are bitter and angry and its an easy fight to shove your anger to

at this point i really dont know for sure, but surely, it should have been an easy fix

just dont interact with the content you dont like or dont want to see, easy as that.

because the solution to your 'hate' is easy to fix yet you do nothing and still search and interact with it

[sluttymickey]

.

[robininthelabyrinth]

i've been keeping a list of possible prompts for you and there's one i have no memory of adding that just says "courtesan nmj????" so i guess that's the prompt you're getting lmao

What Does the Fox Say - ao3

“Second Madame Nie!” a disciple shouted, rushing into her little garden. She didn’t recognize him, but he was solidly built and well-muscled like most of the others – truly, the Unclean Realm was a rapturous feast for one with eyes to see it. Yum, yum. “Second Madame Nie, I have bad news!”

Boo. She hated bad news: bad news meant she’d have to do something, usually, and right now she was seated very comfortably in a pleasant piece of sun in the garden path that’d been made up just for her and to her preferences, with her feet up on a chair and a full plate of fruit from the kitchen on the table in front of her just begging to be devoured, morsel by delicious morsel.

Her schedule was packed!

“I regret to tell you, but your husband has been killed!”

“Oh,” she said, frowning slightly. “Has he? How obnoxious of him.”

How unreliable. Men.

She sighed.

“Second Madame – Second Madame – you don’t understand!” The disciple was all red-eyed and weepy, which was a look she liked, especially in big, stout men like this. The salt added a bit of spice to the whole thing. “You must flee at once! He was killed by Sect Leader Wen in an act of outright aggression – Sect Leader Wen has declared war – the Wen sect is invading!”

She nodded and picked up another lychee to start peeling it. She’d get around to fleeing in her own time. As long as this Wen sect or whatnot was being led by a man, she wasn’t terribly concerned.

“They intend to wipe out the inheritance of Qinghe Nie! They will rip out the child in your belly!”

She hummed noncommittally. Really, how attached was she to having a child of her own? Really?

“They will slaughter civilians – execute Nie-gongzi –”

Her hands stilled.

“What,” she said, and the disciple took a step back automatically, proving that he, at least, had something more of a survival instinct than her late husband did. “Hurt my little meat bun? My darling rice roll? My savory zongzi?”

She stood up, diminutive height and over-large belly and frilly clothing doing absolutely nothing to diminish the vaguely menacing aura that darkened the sky around her. She bared her teeth.

“Who does this upstart Wen dog think he is?!”

The disciple blinked owlishly, but nodded, seeming relieved that she’d finally accepted his concern, though she could see on his face that he was thinking that her reasoning was – characteristically – a little strange. But then again, and she could see this thought process on his far too honest face, it was well known that the second Madame Nie been quite strange ever since Sect Leader Nie had found her in some lonesome place with no family or background and brought her back to be his new wife nevertheless.

Such a charming man. Pity about his loss, really.

“You have to flee at once, we can’t possibly fight so many people,” the disciple said once more, and this time she nodded in agreement. “We can escort you to a hidden exit –”

“No!” a little voice called. “We can’t go.”

She turned to look, and there was the little pork-and-shrimp dumpling himself, chubby-cheeked and earnest-eyed, looking as delicious as always.

“What do you mean, fish cake?” she asked. “Of course we have to go. Didn’t you hear what this strapping young man said? This Wen person wants to kill you!”

“If Father is dead, then I’m the sect leader,” her stepson said. He was serious and solemn in a way that made her want to pinch his cheeks and bury her face into his belly to blow raspberries, and also possibly to eat him right up, flesh and marrow and gristle and all. “That means it’s my responsibility to preserve the Nie sect.”

“Nie-gongzi, no!” the disciple cried, throwing himself to his knees in a dramatic display of loyalty. “You would only die – far better for you to run, and live!”

“Then isn’t the same true for everyone else?” the tasty little dish asked, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. Possibly he was trying to put on a fierce expression, maybe, she couldn’t quite tell sometimes. He was so cute. “Why should I live, and them not? I refuse to buy my life with their deaths!”

“But – Nie-gongzi –”

Her charming little honey cake shook his head and held up a hand to stop the disciple, turning to look at her instead.

“Second Mother,” he said, and he had that wholesome trusting expression again that was such a perfect little one-shot-kill to the heart, ugh. “You always said you’re the best at hiding. The best in the world, no one better among all the gods or demons!”

She was, too. She couldn’t help but preen a little, proud.

“– can’t you do something?”

“Oh, darling cabbage bun,” she said, not without fondness. “I can hide myself from even the net of Heaven itself if I so choose, from gods and demons alike, and I can most certainly hide a small group from any mortal eyes that dare to look, if you don’t mind being a little tiny bit dishonorable about the business. But an entire sect? That’s a bit much, even for someone as talented and skilled as me.”

Her stepson looked up at her, all straight-steel sincerity and upright righteousness wrapped into a perfectly edible little snack-sized package. “If we split them up, the sect could be small groups,” he said eagerly. “Couldn’t you do something then?”

He was so cute, and he trusted her. He trusted her, believed in her, felt that she could perform miracles with a wave of her sleeve if only she so wished.

It was awful.

She couldn’t bear it.

“Oh all right, you nummy little slice of roast pork belly,” she said, yielding. “But I’m telling you now, it won’t be the least bit honorable! There’s only so many excuses you can come up with for having a lot of strong men with wide shoulders and women with thick thighs hanging around, and not a single one of them has the slightest bit to do with what you people consider to be appropriate.”

“That’s all right. Preserving human life comes first, always.”

The disciple looked between them, clearly completely confused. Clearly all his effort had been spent on developing the muscles in his arms (quite nice) rather than his brain (quite slow).

“What?” he said. “What’s happening?”

“We’re saving the sect,” Nie Mingjue announced happily, clapping his hands together. Too precious, too precious entirely; she’d have to make sure no one else even thought about going near her darling little snackling. “Tell everyone to prepare to evacuate.”

“That will take too long,” she said, and smiled, with teeth. “Let me call some friends to help.”

-

When the Wen sect arrived at the Unclean Realm, they found the gate open.

That was unexpected enough, but when they entered, they found that the entire place had emptied out – not just of people, but of everything else, too. There wasn’t a single intact chair or table in the entire place, not a scrap of cloth nor a bit of food, like it’d been swept clean by locusts or wild monkeys come to pilfer whatever they could.

Even the paving stones where arrays had been laid out by the Nie sect’s ancestors had been pried up and carted away.

Sect Leader Wen ordered a search, but there wasn’t any trace of it – of the people, of the stuff, anything.

No one ever found out what happened.

-

Jin Guangyao despised social events, he’d found.

It was one thing when it was something he’d planned himself, where the work was interesting enough to distract him, but when he was an honored guest for someone else…miserable. Utterly miserable.

The only thing more miserable was when the host was his erstwhile father, from whom he’d forcefully extracted recognition. With Wen Ruohan as his backer, indulging his favorite torturer as if a beloved pet, there wasn’t much Jin Guangshan could do to refuse, and neither could he force Jin Guangyao to do anything on his behalf, either. And so Jin Guangyao, sitting as always by Wen Ruohan’s side, right beneath his sons, was now an honored guest at his father’s house, getting offered his pick of prostitutes as if the man had no notion of the irony.

Maybe he didn’t. Jin Guangyao couldn’t quite tell if his father had just forgotten his origins, thinking his bastard son too unimportant to remember the details of, or whether it was meant as a deliberate insult – who could tell?

“Oh, right,” the simpering idiot in front of him, a nephew or cousin of some sort to the sect leader, said. “Our dear Jin Guangyao is known not to like the gentle flower queens, even when they come from the finest houses in Lanling. Isn’t that right, cousin?”

Jin Guangyao’s fists clenched. A deliberate insult, then.

Despite that, his face remained neutral. Instead, he chuckled and said, “The appeal is limited. After all, I have seen the best of them.”

Beside him, Wen Ruohan nodded and smirked. He appreciated Jin Guangyao’s devotion to his mother, though Jin Guangyao suspected it was because he thought it funny that Jin Guangyao would bother to honor such a lowly woman – but what he thought didn’t matter, not really. All that mattered was that he let Jin Guangyao pay his respects to her to his heart’s content.

“Well, you’re in luck!” the idiot Jin Zixun said, looking absurdly smug. “We have something of a different flavor than the usual tonight – we’ve invited entertainment from the local branch of Splendid Spring.”

Jin Guangyao barely managed to avoid rolling his eyes.

The Splendid Spring Palace was a series of brothels that had popped up fully formed just about everywhere some years back, with madams and girls and musicians and bodyguards of all sorts. It was so patently a political move that Jin Guangyao had barely bothered to pay attention to it once he’d become actually powerful, and Wen Ruohan hadn’t paid attention to it at all. After all, in the unlikely event that the business really was backed by a cultivation sect that didn’t care about its face any longer, anyone who needed to use such a façade to gather power was clearly beneath notice.

Jin Guangyao had paid only very little attention, but to different and unusual aspects of the place: by all accounts, they were surprisingly decent employers as far as places like that went. They didn’t steal girls or accept unwilling goods – they had some connection with the merchant caravans, or at least one of the companies that helped coordinate routes and provide protection to such things, and they were as meticulous about checking things over as they were about seeking refunds if they were dissatisfied – and they did accept married girls fleeing unhappy marriages, which not everyone did. They did buy up all the girls in the local markets wherever they were, but they swept them away and brought them back transformed, even the ones that wouldn’t sell because they were too ugly; Jin Guangyao assumed that meant they had people who were talented in make-up and clothing, since the usual rumors of the girls being blessed with a yao’s enchantment were obviously ridiculous and nothing more than the usual marketing gimmicks that brothels since time immemorial had tried.

Even once they had the girls in hand, the places were pretty decent: they had physicians on staff to help with the usual side effects of the business, made sure their girls were clean and healthy, and were said to even limit the number of customers a girl would be obliged to take on in a given evening…honestly, knowing as he did the brothel business, Jin Guangyao sometimes wondered how they’d managed to bespell enough people to even make money in the early days. At any rate, whatever they’d done, it’d worked, because by now they had a solid enough reputation to trade on.

In short: a decent enough place, far better than the usual run of the mill. Once he’d had the ability to do so, he’d even pulled a few strings and arranged for the better of his mother’s old compatriots to end up there, since he couldn’t convince them to leave their old professions behind entirely.

Anyway, if they also seemed to have a sideline in information brokering and assassinations, well, let them. In the cultivation world, where the only thing that mattered was strength, real strength.

A little thing like that wouldn’t make any real difference.

Or so Jin Guangyao had thought.

He found himself re-thinking that, though, when the entertainment in question came out. There were the usual set of attractive (albeit in a wider variety of shapes and sizes than usually seen) dancers, dressed up in silks that seemed actually high quality, and plenty of strapping young men carrying sabers – dancers as well, once assumed, to provide some spice to the entertainment, and implicitly on the offer for men who cut their sleeves or women with more flexibility, like widows or ones with especially permissive husbands. Wen Ruohan’s wives were in that latter category, and they were already whispering to each other excitedly, looking at them.

They’d even brought in the local madame, who was…

Well, she was actually breathtaking, even by Jin Guangyao’s extremely jaded standards. She had hair that fell almost all the way to her ankles, shimmering in the light, and dark eyes shining with liveliness, a smooth and ageless face that simultaneously suggested youth and health but also winked at knowable experience, the features characteristic of what his mother’s employers had called the ‘fox-face’. As if to emphasize that, the lady was wrapped in fox-fur and draped in embroidered brocade, with little stylized foxes running up and down the hems of her clothing and along the gazy silk draped on her shoulders.

It ought to have looked absurd, looked gaudy and overwrought and overdone, but it didn’t.

She was a thousand dreams of wealth and beauty and power and sex appeal all wrapped up in one, and even Jin Guangyao – who was in his personal preferences quite firmly a cutsleeve – couldn’t help but intrigued by her, wondering what it might be like to touch the hem of such a glorious creature.

And next to her…

The lady was accompanied by two men that seemed completely different from each other. One was a slender and winsome young man, fluttering his eyelashes from behind a fan with a charming smile, emanating the appeal of softness and weakness, ready to be indulged. While the other…

Jin Guangyao swallowed.

He was the exact opposite of the first man. Clearly strong, muscular and powerful, and tall to the point of towering, with wide shoulders and a narrow waist, a chest that you could lean your head against and an ass that begged to have someone’s hands on it – and there were his hands, big and broad, perfect for holding someone down or up if they so wished and of a size that was very promising as to what was only hinted at under his clothes. His face was hidden behind a veil as if he were a woman, marking him, like his comrade, as one of the available courtesans of the Splendid Spring, but his body was visible under clothing clearly cut to put it to the best advantage.

And oh, what advantages it had…!

“It seems we found something to the tastes of dear cousin Guangyao after all,” the idiot said mockingly, sniggering and snorting like the pig he was, and for once Jin Guangyao didn’t even care.

“Who’s the woman in front?” Wen Ruohan asked, ignoring their interplay. He seemed utterly fascinated, almost spellbound, and Jin Guangyao couldn’t blame him one bit. If this woman had been at the same brothel as his mother, there wouldn’t have even been room for jealousy or shame; his mother would have gone straight up to her to ask for some tips. “She seems…familiar, somehow.”

“That’s the madame of the Splendid Spring,” Jin Zixun said proudly, as if he’d done anything at all in relation to this – nonsense, of course. Everyone know which brothels were backed by the Jin sect, and Splendid Spring wasn’t one of them. He was acting as if he deserve a pat on the back just for the introduction! “That means she’s not for sale.”

His smile faded a little, twisting in a small bit of bitterness. “Or so she told my uncle, anyway…although I’m sure if it were Sect Leader Wen asking, the answer would undoubtedly be different.”

Probably because Jin Guangshan couldn’t slaughter prostitutes with impunity if they said no to him, whereas no one could stop Wen Ruohan from doing any damn thing he pleased.

Wen Ruohan grunted, pleased by the answer – he was a possessive man, in the rare events that he did exert himself in the realm of women, and there had been more than one instance where he’d stolen away some girl his sons had been eyeing first just for the joy of having had her first – and raised a hand, catching the lady’s eye and gesturing for her to come over, which she did.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

She laughed. “You can call me Hu Jiuwei. With the ‘Hu’ being the character for fox.”

Jin Guangyao tried not to choke. There were false names and then there were false names – the lady’s theme was already clearly related to foxes, given her fox-face and fox-fur lining and the foxes embroidered onto her robes. Was the over-the-top name really necessary?

“It’s a fake name,” she added, unnecessarily.

“I see,” Wen Ruohan said, sounding a little choked himself. Possibly it was the woman calling herself ‘Foxy Ninetails’ and then kindly reassuring them all that the name was false as if she thought them too dumb to figure it out that was tripping him up a little. Jin Guangyao couldn’t tell if she was doing it deliberately in order to make her frankly inhuman beauty a little less frightening, or maybe she was blessed with so much beauty that she hadn’t bothered to cultivate her brain at all. “Are you our entertainment for the evening?”

She smiled, and any complaints Jin Guangyao (or indeed Wen Ruohan) might have had about her intelligence faded away at once.

It was that type of smile.

You could wreck nations with that type of smile. Jin Guangyao couldn’t help but wonder: how had a woman this extraordinary ended up in a brothel, of all places? How had no one snatched her up to keep her all for himself before now?

“My sons and I –” she gestured at the two behind her, “– would be more than happy to provide you with all the entertainment you could possibly want.”

Her smile widened.

“We’ve been hoping for an opportunity like this for a long time.”

[yesimwriting]

Would you write a Kaz Brekker request where the reader is a bookworm and a crow and basically Kaz asks the reader to read to him as his way of apologizing after a argument that was his fault?

 it ​​a/n i did something kinda similar in a 'promise of rain' blurb,, but this concept is so cute to me:)) love it sm i moved it up my request cue lol

also IM IN COLLEGE NOW!! WHAT?? AND IVE BEEN TO A PARTY! AND IM JOINING A SORORITY AND I DID DRAMA AUDITIONS AND AHH !! SO DIFFERENT! I MISS MY MOM AND SISTER AND DOG AND EVEN MY DAD BUT IM HAPPY HERE!! 

also im a little worried this might not portray kaz superrrrr accurately bc it's been awhile so just let me know,, feedback leads to improvement:)) also kinda set this up for a part 2 bc...well youll see 

--

They've always said a lot of things about him, and I've always heard them. But I've never quite believed them. Sure, I get why the dark things that have flourished in the poisoned soil that is Ketterdam consider Kaz Brekker the darkest thing of all. I understand the nickname 'Dirtyhands' for the gloved criminal who has fooled each crime boss at least once. I understand each terrible thing they've said about him.

But I've never agreed with them. I've never even considered agreeing with them. Until today.

The thought that maybe everything people say about him is correct in a simple context struck me worse than the silence after our argument. It made me feel like both a fool and hypocrite. Kaz and I have had our fair share of spats over the relatively short time we've known each other, but never like this. Never so badly he stormed out of the room before I could. I squeeze the book in my lap even harder, desperate to focus on the words on the pages.

You didn't hurt him. He walked away because he decided you weren't worth the cost of his expensive time. I repeat those thoughts in my mind over and over again, letting them bitter me further. It's a lot easier to be mad than hurt. A lot easier to fuel your pain than try to understand your mistakes. Besides, tiredness is already dredging around in my chest and if I don't calm down a little I won't be able to fall asleep.

I had escalated the fight more than I should have. Knowing Kaz is like performing in a tightrope act. One must always be aware of where they're going. Watching what's in front of them without ever thinking too much about what's beneath or behind them. Today though, when I needed my balance most I chose to fall. I chose to dive, and apparently there was no net.

"Oh, you're doing that thing."

I roll my eyes at Jesper's voice as I fight down a yawn. I wipe my face with the back of my palm before turning. The burning behind my eyes never resulted in full tears, but I feel better after doing so. "What thing?"

"That terribly noble thing where you find it in yourself to take full blame for every single conflict you and boss man fall into." The slight humor in his voice is enough for me to roll my eyes again. "Between you and me, I'm sure the reason he's so angry now is because you didn't do that for once."

I press my lips together as my chin angles itself upwards slightly. "I never do that." He raises an eyebrow. The slight sympathy that colors the look is more offensive than his accusation. "If I pick and choose my battles, it's for good reason."

"Clearly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs once before further entering my room. I say nothing when he sits at the foot of my bed. "Oh, you know," Jesper stretches back casually, resting his back against the wall and extending his legs, "You and Kaz--Kaz and you."

Has he been drinking? Perhaps he's not here because of my unusual absence from downstairs after my fight with Kaz but because he's already too tipsy to think right. "What?"

At my confused look he grins, flashing all of his teeth with an arrogance that outshines the whiteness of them. He taps the still open book in my lap. "Let me put it in terms you'll understand." Jesper sits up a little further, amusement clear in his features. "You two make a shameful Elizabeth and Darcy--"

"Oh, shut up," I groan, glaring at him, "This isn't Pride and Prejudice. And Kaz and I," Jesper's smugness returns when I can't quite think of what I want to say, "We're barely friends--we're barely anything, let alone what you're implying."

Jesper pulls his legs up and shoves me gently. "Dearest, y/n," he ignores my glare, "You should know better than anyone that 'barely friends, barely anything' with Kaz is more than it is with anyone else?"

"That doesn't mea--"

"You two say goodnight to each other." Once. Kaz and I said good night to each other in front of Jesper once. How dare he assume it happens regularly? He's right, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. "You play cards with him. Not for money, not for skill--"

"It's for practice." The look Jesper gives me is enough to tell me that my defense didn't land.

Damn him for ever finding Kaz and I on one of those strange nights. One of those nights in which he lurks at the stairwell...the one that divides my room and his attic. One of those nights in which it feels like he's a phantom and I'm the only one that can really see him. A night in which we both silently find each other.

I couldn't quite believe it the first time it happened. I'm not exactly a Crow--I don't feel enough a connection to the Dregs to join them without some kind of guarantee--but I was needed for some obscure job. but I was needed for some obscure job. The Crows needed an insider who could blend into high society, and I needed a place to stay away from my father.

It worked. I worked. And with each passing day I found myself enjoying the Crows more and more. That's why I stayed. That's why I started checking the stairwell practically every night, a set of playing cards in my hand.

The first time had been awkward. I couldn't sleep and my room felt too quiet, but the rambunctious club felt too loud and a little unsafe considering the hour. So I settled for the only space in between. When Kaz found me sitting on the steps and playing a solitary card game I had been so stunned by embarrassment I just offered to deal him in. I had been more shocked when he silently accepted my offer.

"Practice?" Jesper repeats. "You were laughing, I heard you."

"That was one time--how do you know we didn't just happen to play cards together the one time you saw it?"

"Because you laughed about a play you considered 'predictable'."

Sighing, I sit up a little straighter. "I'm not having this conversation. Occasionally saying 'goodnight' to someone who lives in the same space I live in and sometimes playing cards with said person because we both happen to be up at a certain time doesn't mean anything."

"And the way he looked at the contact that was flirting with you?"

Oh...this conversation again. "For the last time, the contact wasn't flirting with me. We had to dance to blend in and when he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear...it was to tell me the intel Kaz just had to have."

"And when he tucked that strand of hair behind your ear?"

"He just wanted to sell our cove--"

"Y/n, he kissed your cheek and I'm fairly certain he would have kissed you if Kaz and I hadn't made it to the corridor at that second."

Why is everyone so obsessed with what would have never happened? The contact had been attractive, tall with fair eyes and hair. But it's not like I feel anything for him, nor would I have been so foolish during a job. A fact that Kaz refuses to believe. I'm tired of this argument...I'm just tired. This job required me to start getting ready early in the morning and lasted long into the night.

"I wouldn't have kissed him and even if I had, the fact that Kaz is so mad about feels...sexist." A stupid argument, considering that Kaz couldn't care less if the person he's working with is female, male, or anything in between because the only thing he cares about is profit. "It's a stupid thing to be mad about, but you hit on anything with a pulse at any time and--"

"I resent that--"

"For the first two weeks I was here I thought you might've been a prostitute."

I can feel him holding in a laugh. "Did you at least think I was a good prostitute?" When I glare again, he finally actually laughs. "Not the point--got it."

"Then what is the point? You're bored and obsessed with gossip so now you're shaking me for information you don't need."

"The point is you're oblivious." Rude...I move my leg in a weak attempt to push him off my bed. Jesper catches my ankle easily, ignoring my attempt at a fight. "You thought the contact was only doing his job and you don't know the real reason that Kaz blew up at you for the first time the way he blows up at everyone."

"Okay, well since you know everything, tell me why he's mad."

He lets out a sigh like he can't believe I even needed to ask that. "It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy."

...Maybe he is drunk? "Don't be so cryptic. I don't like you enough to put up with that."

Jesper half-sighs again before pushing himself off my bed. "I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that."

"Asshole," I mumble instinctually as he walks towards my door. "Are you not telling me because I tried to push you off the bed?"

He turns when he reaches my door in order to lean against my door frame. "It's not not because of that." I should throw my book at his head. "In all seriousness, think about it. If you don't you'll either kill each other or kill me."

Ugh...he's so confusing. This time, I let him go. He leaves he door open, which is beyond annoying. I stand up to close it, promising myself I will focus on my book the second it's in my hands again. As I walk back towards my bed, my eyes land on the deck of cards on my nightstand.

Does it send a signal I don't want to send if I don't go the stairwell tonight? Do I want to send a signal? I don't know...actually, the only thing I know is that I don't want to think about this a second longer. I don't ease as I read, but my eyelids become heavier with each word they cross. I feel the weight of them as my focus slips, farther and farther away until I can no longer focus. When my eyes fall shut I can't bring myself to think or force them open.

--

I notice my surprised before I register that I've just woken up. Falling asleep feels so far and yet the crick in my neck confirms the obvious. Rubbing the eyes with the back of my hand, I push my book from my lap and sit up. The only indication of how much time has passed is how much my bedside candle has melted.

How long have I been asleep? How did I manage to fall asleep? I thought I was too mad at Kaz to manage anything but pouting in my room. I hadn't even decided if I wanted to talk to him.

I stand even though I haven't decided anything. I should at least change if I want to go to bed. But is leaving this alone for even longer a bad idea? I think Jesper thought so...though my conversation with him is far from clear. It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy. I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that. What does he want me to do with that?

Maybe he was partially intoxicated and felt the need to play the role of a good friend. Or maybe this is his idea of a joke.

Whatever--regardless of Jesper, I have a choice to make. A tiny part of me hopes it's insignificant, but I know Kaz enough to know that nothing is insignificant to him. He holds onto things the way he holds onto his kruge. Perhaps I'll seek out Inej, she seems to be the best at rationalizing. Though she might be asleep by now, or on a job or...I don't even know.

How late is it? Is it late enough to be one of the few hours Kaz claims to reserve for sleep? Maybe my bad luck is still around and he's already in bed for once. Does that mean his anger will extend to tomorrow?

I shouldn't care. It's not like I'm in the wrong. Did I escalate things? Maybe a little...but I won't apologize for defending myself. Even though that makes everything a little easier. I feel stuck, like in some kind of place of half sleep. A single knock at my door is enough to make me want to jump. I rub my eyes a little more firmly in hopes of waking up more before someone sees me.

I approach the door without worry. Maybe it's not as late as I assumed. Or maybe it's really early? I open the door while still fighting against my slight disorientation. I'm so focused on acting normal, I almost don’t register the person standing at my door. 

I don’t know who I expected, or what--maybe Jesper, much more tipsy than he was before, slumped against the doorframe, only knocking because he’s too tired to push the door open. Maybe even Inej, on her way here to deliver some kind of job or notice of dismissal. But it’s nothing I could expect. It’s...Kaz. 

The Dirtyhands stands at my door, expression as hard as ever yet something behind his eyes that burns the sleep away from me. “Uh--hi.” I bite my tongue to avoid cringing at that very awkward beginning. “Are you here to kick me out yourself?” The only response I get is the slightest shift of his gaze off of my face. “No? Well then I think I’m going to bed. It’s late.” 

My tone and words are clear. Get out of my doorway, I’m in no mood to go back to arguing.  When he still doesn’t say anything, I’m emboldened by my nerves. I push the door between us without breaking eye contact. 

Before the wood can meet the doorframe, he moves his cane, wedging it between us. “Y/n.” I don’t understand the way he says my name, but I’m certain he’s never said it like that. “I...” When he’s not prompted by the uncomfortableness of silence, I raise an eyebrow, my grip on the door tightening. “What I said shouldn’t have been said.” Wait--is he admitting fault? I’m so thrown I almost melt entirely. “Not to you.” 

The addition leaves him so lowly a part of me wonders if I’ve imagined it. I’m so thrown by it I don’t even think to reply until a long second has passed. “You seemed to believe the opposite a few hours ago.” 

His lips press together for a moment. “You didn’t ask me to play cards tonight.” He took that as intentional? At least that got me some kind of apology? I keep my mouth shut, greed making me want more information. I guess he must sense my silent tugging because he head inclines slightly. “Don’t push.” 

I fight down a grin. “Push what?” His only response to stiffen further. “I’m going to tell you something as a peace offering.” That seems to intrigue him in some way. I can’t tell if it’s a good kind of interested, but I note the slight raise of his eyebrows and his intentional silence. “I didn’t chose not to ask you to play cards.” He gives me no indication of anything, which is fair...considering my vagueness. “I was mad, obviously, and in the middle of deciding on a course of action...and then I fell asleep.” 

A long pause of silence. “You fell asleep?” 

I’m not sure if his incredulous tone should offend me or not. If I wanted to lie, I’d like to think he knows me well enough to know that I’d have thought of a better excuse than that. Or at least a less embarrassing one. “Yes, it’s not that difficult to believe. Today had been long and all I wanted to do was read, but then Jesper came in to say the oddest things and then leave me to...” 

Oh--oh. I guess there’s a reason people say to ‘sleep on’ something. Because now, actively remembering Jesper’s words for the first time since I fell asleep...I understand what Jesper was implying in the oddest way possible. He meant that Kaz and I...that perhaps there is a Kaz and I in a context that’s more than just grammatical. Wow. I really had to realize this with Kaz right in front of me. 

My face feels warmer than it did before, an irrational bout of anxiety forcing me to consider that me might be able to read impossible, embarrassing thoughts from my expression alone. 

“What did Jesper say?” I’m too lost in my own spiral of confusion and panic and some feeling I can’t recognize to register how Kaz asks his question. There’s an edge to it, an odd one, but that could easily just be Kaz. 

This is most definitely the last conversation we need to be having. I’m still mad at him for his earlier dramatics. So I just shake my head, feigning an exhaustion I could lose myself in. “Nothing and everything all at once.” I resist the urge to rub my eyes again. “I’m pretty sure he was drinking, and I wasn’t really listening. I was just trying to read.” 

Kaz’s expression hardens briefly as he takes in my words, and then he exhales, nodding once with the breath. “What were you reading?” 

My lips part instinctually, ready to spew off details about the latest novel that’s captured my attention. But before I can let myself take off, the reality of the situation strikes me directly in the chest. This is not Nina, or Inej, or even Jesper after what he considers a ‘good night’. This is Kaz Brekker, the man believed to not have a soul. I’ve spoken to him before about casual things, though most of the nights in which we end up playing cards or just sitting near each other are spent in silence. But he’s never prompted me before. Not in the one topic he knows is guaranteed to turn me into an overenthusiastic, gushing fountain of poor summaries and character analysis. 

I guess this is his peace offering. This shouldn’t warm the way it does. He was still unbelievably dramatic and treated me like I’m some kind of unreliable fool. “It’s late, and you know how I can be. I’d hate to keep you for nothing more than a poor summary and honestly, an embarrassing rant about plot or characters, because there’s just nothing as frustrating as when two people so clearly care about each other and both are too stubborn and oblivious to acknowledge it.” 

Kaz’s eyebrows draw together just enough for me to be able to make out a shift of expression in the poor light. Perhaps his lingering irritation is preparing to rear its ugly head. The corner of his mouth seems to threaten to tilt upwards as Kaz angles his head to the side slightly. “I can’t imagine that position.” 

No kidding. I bite my tongue to keep the sarcastic comment and awkward laugh that would sure follow it away. “Who can? That’s like half the point of reading.” 

How can interaction feel so over and just at its beginning all at once? I press my lips together to avoid filling the silence with things I’d no doubt instantly regret. It’s easy to be mad at Kaz in the moment. Too easy. But to stay mad at him when his temper has passed and he returns with some kind of begrudging and admittedly awkward and uncertain truce is another task entirely. 

“I’ve never understood your attachment to written words.” 

“It’s not about understanding, it’s about everything else.” 

“And you say I’m cryptic.” Is he...kinda almost joking? I straighten my spine, too tired to fight and too wounded to forgive. “There’s understanding in everything, nothing can survive on sentiment alone.” 

“If you read the way I did, you’d understand.” 

His lips press together as his expression remains unwavering in its hardness. “Read to me.” 

...Interacting with Kaz in any way often leaves me feeling like I’m wandering through unknown territory. But this, this is undeniably different. So different I can’t even think of a way to react. I watch his expression as cautiously as possible. He’s purely reserved, no distinction from the look he wears during business propositions. Except there’s a tightness I can’t quite understand.

Maybe it’s because I don’t want to fight anymore. Maybe it’s because exhaustion is leaving me partially delirious. Or maybe it’s the weird feeling in my chest that I can’t quite place. That I don’t want to place. “Okay.” I shift carefully. “If for no other reason then to prove you wrong.” 

Never did I think I’d end up in the position of sitting in my bed, book in hand, with Kaz Brekker sitting next to me. But here we are. I’m so tired, I almost let out a nervous laugh when he first walked in. So brooding and tall, gripping the head of his head cane as he sits at the foot of my bed, on my pastel quilt. 

I’m glad for the excuse to keep my gaze away from him and on the words in front of me. I read out loud, feeling more and more comfortable with each page I finish. But as my inhibitions slip away, so dos my hold on consciousness. My eyelids seem to grow heavier with each word that I read. 

“You’re falling asleep.” 

I straighten my spine on instinct. “Am not.” I’m not sure why I feel the need to deny something so simple. 

“You’re impossible.” 

From him, that statement is laugh worthy. “I’m impossible? Do you not remember earlier today?” 

From the way his jaw locks, I realize that he’s in no mood to be light about this topic. I don’t understand why. It’s not like I’m the one that wronged him. “I remember your lack of focus.” 

Keeping my hands at my side to avoid rubbing my eyes, I frown. “If you want to have this argument again, fine. Jesper is more ‘distracted’ than me half the time and you’re much more lenient on him. It’s not like I was flirting with someone or gambling or doing anything but having a two second conversation. One that I needed to have to get information that you wanted.” 

The last time we fought, I had more energy to restrain myself. This could be atomic. I hold my breath, waiting for Kaz’s retaliation. He exhales, eyes not meeting mine. “Arguing with you when you’re present is exhausting enough. It’s not worth it when you’re half asleep.” 

This angers me further. I hate that he’s right. “I’m not half asleep.” He leaves it at that. I glare even harder at him, slumping further into my bed. “But for the sake of argument, I’ll drop it. Something you’re incapable of doing.” 

At that, his eyes meet mine. I try to hold his gaze, but the harder I think about not seeming tired the more exhaustion slips in. A yawn escapes me before he looks away. Great. “I know when to lie in the grass in wait.” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift back slightly. He’s incapable of being less dramatic than this. Still, I can’t imagine the effort it’s taking on his part to not start an argument. Maybe this is why Jesper spent so long implying that there may be a Kaz and I in any capacity beyond a vague kind of friendship. “I’ll admit you’re tactful.”

“Resourceful people recognize that trait in other people.” 

Blinking twice, I lower my book slightly. Am I truly exhausted, or did he just compliment me in a way? “Careful, I may start to think you find me tolerable.” 

“Let’s not exaggerate.” Okay, now I know I’m exhausted because I think he might have just attempted a joke. Rolling my eyes, I decide not to acknowledge this lightness in fear that I’ll scare it away. “Y/n?” 

I press my lips together, worried about the destruction of our peace. “Yes?” 

“What did Jesper say to you? Earlier?” I pause, slightly unsure why we’re moving backwards. 

We’re in a decent place now, and I’d hate to ruin it. I’m too half asleep to lie eloquently. And it’s not like he’s an easily convinced man. “Oh, he said it so cryptically it took me longer than it should have to understand. And it didn’t help that it was something so...well, you might find it funny. As funny as you find anything, anyways.” Wow...I’ve spent such a long time talking. Rubbing the back of my eyes, I avoid his gaze. Exhaustion and awkwardness mix in my stomach oddly. “It seemed like he was trying to imply that you and I...me and you...” Why is this a difficult thing to say? It’s not like I was implying it and Jesper’s known for his oddness. “I think Jesper was implying that there was a you and I, or at least that there could be.” I’m too lost in a haze of almost sleep to watch his reaction. I let my head rest against my headboard even further. “Isn’t that odd?” 

He’s quiet for a long second, and then he finally speaks again. “Odd, even for Jesper.” The response doesn’t satiate me...what’s that about? I exhale, deciding that feeling is tomorrow’s problem. When I blink, I decide to let my eyes stay closed. Just for a moment. The sound of something shifting is what makes my eyes squint open. Kaz is standing, his expression unreadable as he straightens. “Goodnight, y/n.” 

At that, I sit up slightly, ignoring the exhaustion behind my eyes. “I haven’t finished the chapter.” 

“You’ve convinced me of enough.” A concession? How exhausted do I seem? My lips press together as I think of my next argument. Before I can get it out, Kaz leans forward. He grabs the quilt at the end of my bed and tosses it onto my legs casually. “Goodnight, y/n.” The meaning of his repetition is clear. His word is final. 

I find enough energy to manage a glare, but I pull the quilt over my legs anyways. “Goodnight, Kaz.”

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Please Me: Oikawa's Oasis Part 3

⚠️This Fic is 18+, Minors DNI⚠️

Welcome to week 4 of the Please Me Series!  A collaboration with @axoxtxhxh! This weeks theme is Virginity Loss featuring Oikawa and Goshiki!  This weeks fics are broken into 3 parts! Parts 1 and 2 are linked in the master list below! Please check out Joey’s fic, Guiding Goshiki!  I will also link it in the Please Me master list!  

Warnings: swearing, slight angst, fluffy ending, virginity loss, kissing, male oral receiving, thigh riding, masturbation,  locker room sex, shower sex, unprotected sex, creampie, guided female masturbation, sub! oikawa, fem dom reader, petnames, one hell of a safeword 

Word Count: 5,000

Staring at the wall, you heard your alarm sound the following morning as you slowly arose from your bed.  You hadn’t slept at all since you had arrived home last night.  You couldn’t shake the feeling of shame and guilt for running away from Torū.

You’re feelings were valid, you knew that. But you knew it wasn’t right to run away from him like you did. You should have talked to him.  In a way, you probably made him feel more self conscious then you had your first time.  

You sighed as you got up to shower and head to the gym. You knew you needed to talk with Torū.  You needed to explain to him that none of this was his fault.  

Locking your door, you headed to the gym as you mentally prepared yourself for the conversation that would follow.  You wanted to tell him about how you were afraid you would ruin his first time.  How your first time failed miserably and that you didn’t want him to regret anything.  

Torū had become very special to you as both a teammate and a friend. You didn’t want to make his time with the team awkward in anyway.  You knew the conversation would be a difficult one but you had to do it.  

Arriving at gym you saw several of the other players nursing hangovers and you began setting up for the days practice.  You yawned as you went to the bench, to grab your notes as the teams captain approached.

“You must have really worn Torū out YN” he said nudging your side as you looked at him confused “he texted me this morning telling me he was too ‘worn out’ to come to practice” he said throwing up air quotes “I’m actually surprised you’re here today.”

Hearing the Torū wasn’t coming to practice hit your like a ton of bricks, the feeling guilty washing over you as you felt the urge to cry.  You turned away from the captain as he watched you walk away in silence, going to fill the teams water bottles.  

Stepping from the gym, you felt the tears flow as the guilt and shame of your actions washed over you. How could you act so immature?  How could you just run away?  

You cried as you went to fill the teams water bottles. God I probably made him feel so insecure. I’m such an idiot you thought to yourself as you tried to calm down enough to finish your task and excuse yourself to your office.  You could camp out there the rest of the practice, telling the coach you had some work to catch up on.  At least then you could cry in peace.

Torū groaned as he woke up from his small nap. He hadn’t been able to sleep because of what had transpired between YN and himself.  He felt so shamed, so inadequate.  These were feelings he didn’t often have, causing chaos in his mind as he jolted hearing the sudden ring of his phone.

He answered the FaceTime call to a smiling Iwaizumi as he tried to bring a smile to his glum face.

“Shittykawa what’s the matter with you?  I didn’t expect you to pick up. Don’t you have practice? Iwaizumi says as Oikawa just stared at him.

Iwaizumi was confused. He had known Oikawa for many years and this was the first time he had ever seen the former high school captain so gloomy. Even losing their 3rd year volleyball tournament hadn’t made the captain as sad as he was now.

“I messed up Hajime” Torū said as Iwaizumi reeled back.  Oikawa never used his full name.

“What happened? Are you ok?” He said as Torū tried to hold his composure in. His emotions were all over the place, he had never felt so vulnerable, so destroyed “Hey Torū, are you ok?”

That did it. Iwaizumi saying his name caused Torū to cry like he had never cried before. He wasn’t even embarrassed, not one bit. He didn’t have time to feel embarrassed. He felt too ashamed.

“Hajime” Torū said finally calming down “she- YN doesn’t want me.”

Iwaizumi was stunned.  Never had this ever happened. A girl didn’t want the Torū Oikawa?  What kind of alternative dimension was he living in?

Iwaizumi watched as his friend wiped his face with his palms, trying to figure out what to say.

“Uhh- well umm what happened” he managed to muster up as he tried hard to still comprehend the previous statement made by his friend.

“Last night, I went out with the team.  Things with YN got heated.  We came back to my place.  Everything was going so well.  Then I told her I was a virgin and she freaked out and ran” he said as he looked down, unable to make eye contact with his friend.

Iwaizumi couldn’t help but chuckle to himself and try as he might, he was unable to hold a straight face.  He laughed loudly as Torū’s head whipped up into view, sending glares at him.

“Dude, I'm sorry” he laughed “but please tell me that you just didn’t say ‘YN I’m a virgin’ and expect her to be like ready to rip your v-card from your grasp.”

Iwaizumi laughed loudly as Torū just continued to stare at his friend “I don’t think it’s very funny Iwa-chan” he said he  scuffed at his friends laughter.

“Boy, you really are lame shittykawa” he said chuckling “are you sure you really are good with women?  I mean I don’t blame her one bit!  Taking a guy’s virginity would suck!  I mean men really don’t know shit about pleasuring women so what’s in it for her?”

Torū thought hard while his friend talked. Maybe he had approached it wrong to begin with. Not that he thinks about it, his method of delivery was a bit hasty.  

“Dude, I think you need to just talk to her You don’t really know why she turned you down.  I mean it sounds like she likes you from the way things went last night. Maybe you just made her nervous.”

Torū knew his friend was right. You had never given him any indication that you didn’t like him and he knew that, last night you felt something just like he did.

Torū looked at his friend as he smiled “you’re right Iwa-chan I’ll talk to her tomorrow.” Iwaizumi laughed as he watched the light stream back into his friend’s face.  

“Good luck idiotkawa” he said hanging up as Torū laid his phone down.  It was getting late, well after practice had ended. He knew he should try and get to the gym to practice some before tomorrow. He gathered his gear as he made his way to the gym, hoping someone was still there so he could practice.

You had managed to avoid the team for the entire practice. The coach had bought your excuse and you stayed cooped up in your small office until after practice.  

You signed as you stood up from your chair, tired from sulking and crying the entire afternoon.  You grabbed your bag and locked the office door.  Thankfully it was Friday and you could spend the weekend sleeping.  You were exhausted but yet somehow found the strength to cry for hours on end.  

You approached the gym doors as the all too familiar sounds of volleyball slamming into the floor radiated into your ears.  You checked your phone, nothing that it was 7pm and well past practice time.  You approached the gym doors as you quietly peaked in to see a sweating Torū setting up a serve, smashing it straight into the net  

“UGH DAMMIT” he said shouting as he prepared the throw another one up, once again managing to net the ball.  He leaned over, placing his hands on his knees and he grabbed his towel and headed to the locker rooms.  He had only been practicing for an hour but he was just unable to get into it.  

You watched as he made his way into the locker rooms, following to the doors as you slowly opened them, hearing him shout from inside.

“Torū,you idiot!” he shouted as you winced at his words.  You felt awful. You knew he was like this because of what had transpired between the two of you the previous night.  

You walked in the doors, standing for a moment as you see Oikawa sitting on the bench, a towel placed over his head and his elbows rested on his knees.

You knew you had to say something.  You couldn’t let him think any of this was his fault.  This was all your doing and it was time you owned up to it  

“Hey Torū” you said softly as the locker room door closed behind you and Torū’s head snapped up to meet yours. He looked at you as you walked over to him, sitting directly in across from him on the other bench.

“We need to talk” you said as he put his head down, trying not to cry again.

“It’s ok YN.  There’s nothing to talk about” he said he went to stand up, stopping when you grabbed his forearm.

“No Torū” you said as you sniffles lightly “I need to apologize.”

Torū was confused as he sag back done the bench, removing the towel from his head.  He stared at you questioningly.  What were you apologizing for?

You played with your fingers for a moment as you tried hard to muster up the courage to talk.  You knew what you wanted to say, rather what you needed to say.  

“Torū, I’m sorry I ran out on you.  I shouldn’t have done that.  I- I just got really nervous” you say, still looking down at the floor as you took a deep breath and tried hard not to cry.

“When you told me you were a virgin, it made me nervous.  I remember my first time all too well and I- well I just don’t want your first time to be like mine was” you speak as Torū looks at you, still confused.

The whole time the issue hadn’t been that he was a virgin, it had been that you wanted him to have a good experience?  He was shocked.  Here he though the issue was him, when in reality the issue was your own self doubts. He listened as you continued to talk.

“My first time wasn’t good Torū.  I didn’t know what I was doing and I thought I had feelings for the guy but like he didn’t have feelings for me.  And I really like you Torū and I just don’t want you to regret anything.  The fact that you trusted me with something so special made me nervous and scares” you said as your eyes went up to meet Torū.  

He looked at you, staring into your eyes as he tried hard to comprehend everything you had just said. He felt awful that your first experience wasn’t good but he also knew his feelings for you were valid and now he knew you had feelings for him too. He continued to stare as he worked his way thought the issues in his mind.  

You frowned as you took his silence as a bad sign, sighing as you stood up.  

“Thanks for letting me explain myself Torū.  You are so amazing and you deserve someone special” you said as you went to leave the locker rooms.

Torū snapped from his thoughts as he quickly grabbed your hand, pulling you back into his as he placed a light kiss on your lips. He smiled as you looked at him, very confused as to what had just happened.

Torū put his forehead on yours as you smiled softly.  

“YN, you don’t get it.  I want you to be my first because of how I feel about you” he said as he looked at you softly. You had become an oasis for him. An escape from reality and daily life. You had loved volleyball as much as him and you had always been genuine with him.  

You smiled as you grabbed his neck, kissing him softly again as he pulled your body flush against his as he deepened the kiss.  He placed his hands on your soft waist as he moved his hand up and down your back as you grabbed at his hair pulling him in closer to you.

You break from the kiss, staring at each other as your lips hovered over his.  Your body hearing up as you could feel his erection forming against your thigh.  You kissed his chin to his neck as he pulled your pelvis in closer, grinding where he could, trying hard to gather any amount of friction to ease his aching cock.

He backed away from him as he watched in confusion as you approached the locker room door.

Not again he thought as he heard the lock click, watching you stroll back to him, pulling him back into a full embrace.  He needed you and bad.  He couldn’t stand this pain in his cock anymore. He needed relief and the only medicine was you.

You push him back to the bench as he sits down looking up at you as you smirk down at him.

“Torū do you really want this?” You said as he groans, looking up at your gorgeous figure.  

He nodded frantically as you took his chin in your hand “I need a verbal response Torū” you said as his eyes widened.

“Yes- yes YN I want this” he said as you step back, removing your shirt and leggings, watching him ogle at your nearly naked form.  

“Ok Torū, I want you to pick a safe word just incase things get to be too much for you” you said as he gawked at you in your bra and panties. He was having a hard time concentrating on the task at hand with you standing tall in front of him.

“Torū!” you repeated as you snapped your fingers in front of his eyes, trying to get his attention turned back.

“Oh shit- yeah a safe word, umm how about ‘Kageyama’?” He said as you stared strangely at the word.

“I’ve never heard of ‘Kageyama’?  What does that mean?” You said as he stood up from his spot approaching you as he grabbed at your scantily clad hips.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s just something will definitely snap me out of the mood” he said as you chuckled lightly embracing Torū in a heated kiss.  

Your tongue licked his lips lightly as he granted you access, opening his mouth to your wet muscle as you massaged your tongue against his, pulling light groans from his pretty head.

You tugged on his shirt as he lifted his arms up, letting you pull the shirt from his body as your fingers and palms run up his sculpted chest.  

Your fingers graze lightly over his nipples as he shutters and groans.  His body was so reactive to every touch, every movement. The fact that you were about to engage in intercourse with the setter still made you a bit nervous but you tried hard to cast the self doubt aside, wanting to make the experience memorable for both you and Torū.

As if on queue, Torū looked at you sweetly as he brushed the tip of your nose with his. “you know YN, we could just count this as your virginity loss too.  I mean clearly you are as nervous as I am” he said chuckling as you laughed loudly throwing your head back.  

“That’s a good idea Torū but I am experienced in pleasuring a partner” you said as you push him down to the bench “just be a good boy for me and let me take the lead, ok?”

Torū gulped as he eyes widened at as your form sunk to your knees in front of him.  This was really happening and in the team locker room.  Not an ideal place to lose your virginity but he was not about to interrupt you.

“Umm YN” he said as he looked at you , kneeling before him with your hands placed on your plush thighs “don’t you umm, don’t you want me to make you feel good too?”  

You chuckled lightly as you reached up pulling him into a heated kiss as he gently rubbed his hands along your soft arms.

“How about I show you what I like while I make you feel good, then you can try?” You say as he nods quickly watching your hands go to his gym shorts, pulling his erection free as he shifts his hips upwards, helping you to remove his pesky shorts.

Your eyes widen at his size as you think about all the possible ways his cock will pleasure your wet cunt.  You felt your core heat up as you looked up to Torū.  

He was completely blissed out. Lost in translation between here and fantasy.  He’s eyes sparkled with excitement as you tested the waters, lightly kicking the tips of his hard cock.

Groaning he threw his head back in pleasure as you smirked to yourself, going in for another lick.  Your tongue laying more and more on his stiffened cock as he writhed in pleasure under your control.

Your body headed as you watched his abs contract in the moment, his mouth hanging open as his tongue lolled out in ecstasy.  He watched as your fingers traced lightly from his legs to your own, peering down at your chest as your fingers danced lightly over your clothed clit.

“Fuck YN” he moaned as he tried his hardest not to come from the sensation of your tongue on his cock.

Taking one final lick, you stand up as you slowly remove your panties from your body, revealing your cunt to him as he stares at the wetness coating your inner thighs.  

“Did you- did I” he said staring at you as you laugh, pushing him back on the hard bench, placing one leg on each side as you rub your clit with your fingers.

“Yes Torū you made me this wet” you say as you widen his legs on the bench, his cock standing tall as you bend down, grinding your cunt on his lower thigh.  

“Holy shit-” he groans as you moan throwing your head back as his leg rubs your clit perfect.  He grabs his cock as he slowly begins to stroke himself, trying hard to concentrate on your moments and pleasure as he feels the wetness pool on his legs.  

You lean over, placing two of your wet fingers in his mouth as he sucks violently, causing you to grind faster and harder.  Your orgasm builds as moans and groans fill the air

 Your body heats up rapidly as the cord in your stomach tightens. Your pace quickens as does Torū’s as you feel the cord begin to loosen.

“Oh fuck Torū” you moan as Toru groans deeply, letting go of his aching cock to watch as you tip over the edge.  

“Come on baby, come for me” he says as the pet name tips you over the edge, your cunt pulsing on his thigh as he watches your face contort into pleasure.  

“That was so hot YN” he says he has gently caressed your arm and leg as his cock aches painfully beside you.

“We are just getting started Torū” you say as you adjust yourself over his pelvis, pushing his cock between your wet folds as your grind back and forth, trying hard to ensure your good and ready to take his cock.

“Fuck YN- I, I’m not going to last long” you say as you shush him, halting your movements.

“Hey its OK.  I already came so now we need you to come. How do you want to come Torū?” You say as he bites his lower lip, watching your pussy settle above his cock.

“Please YN- please put it in. I need to be inside of you princess” he squeaks out as you smirk at his request. You knew he wouldn’t last long inside of you.  One thing you prided yourself on sexually was your ability to ride a cock and boy was Torū in for a treat.  

You line his cock up with your wet cunt, slowly bending your knees down as you impaled yourself in his cock.

The stretch was delicious as Torū’s mouth fell open as he groaned and panted beneath you.  You knew he could feel the tightness you felt as you waited for him to adjust to being inside of you.

Torū’s hands flew to your hips as he tried his hardest to remain calm.  Your cunt was so tight and so warm around his cock. The pleasure was unimaginable.  All he wanted was to feel the release.

“Torū are you ok?” You said as you steadied your hands on his chest watching to make sure the man below you was still coherent.

“It’s so tight YN, please” he moaned as his hands went to your hips and you ground a little down on him as his core shuttered, causing his dick to jolt inside you.

“I’m going to go slow ok” you said as he nodded.  Your feet planted firmly on the ground, you pushed lightly on his chest as you propelled your hips up and down, impaling yourself on his cock over and cover again.  

The pace was agonizing for Torū as whimper and moans fell from his mouth.  You could feel your orgasm building and you knew Torū couldn’t hold on much longer.  You needed to go faster.

“Torū” you groan from above him as you continue your leisurely pace “I’m close can I go-”

“GOD PLEASE BABY FUCK ME” he shouts as your hips speed up, jerking his cock as you felt the familiar knot began to unwind “fuck YN I can’t hold out-”

“Almost baby” you moan as you feel the cord snap inside your stomach as your cunt pulses on Toru's cock causing him to groan and grunt.

“FUCK FUCK FUCK-” he shouts as his hips still into you, painting your walls white as he grips your hips firmly, whimpering below you as he tried his hardest to come down from his high.

He felt absolutely spectacular, like his body was floating on air.  He couldn’t believe how amazing his first time had been. He never imagined it would happen the way it did but he wasn’t complaining.  His body and mind were in complete bliss.

Coming down from your high, you laugh as you look at Torū’s blissed out state.  He smiles at you as he opens his eyes slowly caressing your cheek.  

“That was amazing YN” he said, breath shaking as he came down from his high, breathing steadily.

Your chest filled with pride as you felt sheer happiness fluid your body.  You had redeemed yourself and you had made Torū’s first time amazing.

Standing up slowly, Torū watched as his cum leaked down your thigh as you stood in front of him.  His eyes traced your form as he felt his cock jolt to life again, ready for another round.

Standing up, he quickly grabbed you in a bridal carry, running towards the shower as your screamed and laughed as he set you down, turning the water on and pressing your body against the shower wall.

“eww Torū, this wall is gross” you groan as his lips attach to your neck as you feel his erection growing against your pelvis.

“It’s fine YN, I’ll clean you up afterwards” he says as he kisses you deeply, pulling your body against his as he pulls you under the warm water.  

You break the kiss as you smile softly up at his tall form, water cascading down his body as you feel his hardened chest under your hands.

“I need you” he says as you smirk at him, turning around to face the wall.  You grind your ass into his already hard member as he grabs your hips, pulling you firmly into him.

“Then fuck me Torū” you say as you peer over your shoulders, watching Torū’s face fill with excitement as he lines up his cock with your still damp cunt, slowly pushing in as he slowly sinks deep into your hole.

“fuck YN- your pussy is just amazing” he says as he slowly pulls his cock back out, moving at a snails pace in and out of you.

“Torū” you moan as you mouth falls open  “give me your hand” you say as Torū’s hand appears in front of you as you place it between your legs on your hardened clit.  Torū moans when his fingers hit your clit as you rotate his wrist, showing him exactly how you like to be pleasured.  You let go of his hand as he continues to rub tiny fast circles into your clit as you propel yourself faster onto his cock, meeting his thrusts half way.

The air feels with the smell of sex and the sound of skin slapping as your ass meets his hips over and over.  

“Fuck baby” he groans

“I know Torū, just a little more” you squeak out as he picks up his speed, meeting your ass fast and harshly as his fingers speed up on your clit.

“TORŪ FUCK-” You scream as his hips still on your ass as he presses hard, his head falling to your shoulder as he tries to gain control of his breathing.

“Ahhh fucking hell- FUCK” he shouts as he chest heaves in relief as you both come down from your highs as he releases you and you turn to face him, kissing him softly as he grabs you, pulling you into a tight embrace.  

“Thank you YN” he says whispering into your neck as you smile softly.

After cleaning up and getting dressed, Torū helps you clean up the gym as you get ready to leave for the night.  Locking the gym doors, Torū grabs your hand as he pulls you along with him.

“Torū” you say laughing as the brunette pulls you hastily out of the building “my apartment is the other way!”

“Who said the night was over YN-chan?  I need to practice pleasuring you” he smirks as you gulp, following behind him quickly.

You sure were in for a long night ahead.

taglist: @chaotic-nick @yep-seeyalaterbranflakes @serostapesweat @lovelyzabrak-meadow​

[intheticklecloset]

You're the Coolest (Haikyuu!!)

Primary Universe

@happyandticklish We're going back in time again! Consider this a bit of backstory for the events of "Burn Some Calories." I personally really love this one; there's not enough ticklish Noya in the world and he's so dang cute! Thanks so much for the fun prompt! Enjoy! ^^

~

This little first-year was at once making him look really bad and pushing him to do even better.

From the moment he’d introduced himself, Yuu Nishinoya had taken the court by storm. The kid was a natural libero, able to receive and defend better than anyone Asahi had ever known before. His bright smile and outgoing personality lit up the gym, making practice both more fun and more intense as everyone strove to do better, inspired by his energy.

Asahi admired him greatly for that. He, too, promised to work harder and improve in all areas so he could be worthy of sharing the court with Noya. As time went on, though, he found that it didn’t seem to matter how hard he worked; the first-year was always several steps ahead of him. While Daichi, Suga, and the others began to serve better, block better, and spike better, he himself – the ace of the team – remained steadfast in doing just as well as he always had. Sure, every practice was helping him improve, but only marginally compared to his teammates. Noya was always smiling and encouraging, but Asahi felt more and more like he was being left behind, and the weight was crushing him.

All of that changed one night after practice.

“All right, guys,” the captain announced, “time to call it a day. First-years, clean up. Second-years, put the gear away.”

Everyone shouted their affirmation and scattered to do as they were told.

Noya came bounding up to him, grinning. “You were great today, Asahi! You’ve been working on your serves, right? I can tell.”

Asahi gave him a tired smile. “You don’t have to do that, Noya.”

“Huh? Do what?”

“Act like I’m making such great progress.” Asahi gripped the ball he was holding before tossing it into the bin nearby. “I’m obviously not.”

“Sure you are.” Noya looked up at him, eyes wide and earnest. “If I’m having to work harder to receive them, that means you’ve been working harder to improve them. It’s logic.”

“That’s more a testament to how amazing you are than anything.”

“You think I’m amazing?”

Asahi looked down at his underclassman, astonished. “Of course I think that. You are amazing, Noya.”

Noya beamed, gently pushing his fist into Asahi’s chest. “You’re amazing, too, ace.”

“Not compared to you. You’re so…so energetic and adaptive and tough, and I’m…I’m none of those things.”

“Tough? I’m not tough,” Noya laughed. “You’re the tough one.”

Asahi tossed another volleyball into the basket. “Yeah, right.”

“You are!”

“Noya!” Tanaka snapped from the supplies closet. “A little help would be nice!”

“Hang on a second, Tanaka,” the libero called back. “I’m giving a pep talk here.” He turned to look up at Asahi again. “You’ve got to believe in yourself more, dude. I can see you’re improving. All of us can. Why can’t you?”

“Sure, I’m improving. Just not enough.”

“Everyone moves at their own pace.”

“I’ll never be as awesome as you.”

Noya frowned, and the look was so unusual for him that it gave Asahi pause. “I’m not as invincible as you think I am, Asahi. I’ve got weaknesses, too.”

“I have yet to see one.”

“Where do I start? My test scores are average at best, I’m total crap at serving – kind of why I chose to play libero, honestly. Oh, and don’t get me started on my luck with girls—”

“I meant physically,” Asahi said quickly, putting an end to that train of thought. “Physical weaknesses. On the court. I haven’t seen any.”

Noya hesitated for a moment, suddenly looking embarrassed. He glanced around to make sure no one was listening in, then lowered his voice. “Look, I’ll admit something to you, because you need the encouragement and I trust you. But you’ve got to promise not to tell anyone else, okay?”

Asahi swallowed, nodding.

“I’m ticklish,” Noya said quickly, cheeks turning pink as he spoke. “Like, stupidly ticklish. One poke and I’m completely useless.”

Asahi stared at him. He scanned him up and down, his mind automatically filling in the blanks. Ribs, sides, waist, knees. All places he’d attack first if he were to tickle Noya. Not that he was going to, of course. Not after the libero had specifically said he trusted him.

“Oh,” he said at last, voice soft. He blinked, straightened. “Well…I suppose that counts.”

“Nishinoya!” Tanaka yelled.

Noya whirled around and ran to him. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming!”

Asahi watched him go, then blindly – as if in a daze – picked up the rest of the volleyballs and helped take down the net, putting it away for the night. Ticklish, he thought, and that was all he could think. Noya’s ticklish. Noya’s ticklish. Noya’s ticklish.

Once the gym had been cleared up and cleaned up and the captain had locked the doors, Noya found Asahi again, prancing up to him as if it was the first time he’d seen him all week. “So, feeling better now, ace?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I guess so.” Asahi took one glance at the libero’s smiling face and lost all control. He wanted to see that smile more. Wanted to make him smile like that more. He was dying to hear what Noya sounded like when he was tickled. So, in a flash, he grabbed the little first-year’s sides and squeezed.

As promised, Noya immediately burst into giggles and crumpled to the ground, his legs giving out beneath him. “Nohohoho, Asahi!” he pleaded, holding up his hands defensively as the ace knelt down to join him and dug in again, more purposefully this time. “Nahahahahahahahaha! P-Please, I tohohohhohold you, I’m reheheheheheally ticklihihihihish!”

“You had to know I’d want to see for myself,” Asahi countered, beaming at the adorable sight but lightening his touch slightly.

“Ahahahahahahahaha! Sehehehehehee?! I’m n-nohohohohohot so tohohohohough, am I?”

“You’re the toughest person I know, Noya.” Asahi snatched up both of his wrists and held them above his head, using his free hand to wiggle his fingertips into the grooves of the libero’s ribcage. Noya spasmed, laughter spilling out of him faster than he seemed able to keep up with. “You’re just a sensitive guy, that’s all.”

“Tehehehehehell that to the lahahahahahahadies!” Noya retorted, squealing when Asahi found the backs of his ribs and kneaded there. He tossed his head back and laughed unguarded. “STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!”

Part of Asahi thought he should stop, but another, stronger part of him found that he simply couldn’t. Noya losing control of himself like this was just so…so unprecedented and unusual, not to mention the cutest thing he’d ever seen. He swung a leg over to pin his thighs down and dug in a little harder, enjoying the shriek he got in response.

“AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEASE, ASAHIHIEHEHEHEHE!!” Noya begged, smiling uncontrollably as mirth burst out of him in helpless waves. “STOP, PLEHEHEHEHEASE, I CAHAHAHAHAN’T TAHAHAHAHAKE IT!!”

“You’re really ticklish, huh, Noya?” Asahi asked, half-teasing, half-serious. He trailed his fingers down to the libero’s belly and scribbled there. “It’s kind of cute.”

“SHUHUHUHUHUHUHUT UP!! I’M NOT CUHUHUHUHUHUHUTE!!” Noya insisted even through his frantic cackling and squirming. “I’M THE COHOHOHOHOHOOL, CONFIDENT LIHIHIHIHIHIBERO!!”

Asahi laughed with him at that. “Oh, are you, now? Not so cool and confident when I’ve got you pinned down like this, hmm?” He poked at Noya’s belly button, chuckling at the “eep!” he got as a reward. “Let’s see. Where’s your worst spot?”

“HAAH?!” Noya made a distressed noise through his giggling, twisting every which way under Asahi’s grasp. “N-Nohohoho, no, plehehease don’t, I cahahahahan’t take it! Reheheheheally!”

“I haven’t even found it yet!”

“Y-You wihihihihihill,” Noya replied, sounding nervous, his eyes panicked. “T-Then you’ll nehehever want to stop. Nohohoho one ever dohohoes.”

At that, Asahi pulled back, releasing Noya entirely as he climbed off of him. He frowned. “Whoa, dude, I’m sorry. Is this…is this traumatic for you?”

“No,” Noya groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes, still laying on the ground. “It’s just…I’ve got this reputation, you know? You were telling me yourself that you think I’m some awesome, unbeatable volleyball star. I…I like being cool like that. And this undermines that coolness.”

“Then why did you tell me?” Asahi asked. “If you were worried it would ruin your reputation?”

“Because it’s you,” Noya said, uncovering his eyes to look at him. “I trust you.”

I trust you. Those words again, with more meaning this time. Asahi smiled at him. “Then do you believe me when I say I’ll never tell anyone else about this? I’ll preserve your reputation. Don’t worry.”

“But…” the libero looked away, seeming embarrassed again. “My worst spot makes me sound ridiculous when I’m tickled there. There’s no coming back from that once you’ve heard it. That’s why I…I don’t want you to try it.”

Asahi felt a little wounded. “Why? Do you think I’ll think less of you?”

“Everyone always does. Once you lose your cool, you’re no longer cool. You know?”

“Noya, I’ll never think you’re not cool just because you’re a little ticklish. That’s silly.” When the libero didn’t answer, he continued, “But if you want me to stop here, I will.”

Noya turned to look at him again, and he frowned. “You really want to, don’t you?”

Asahi could feel himself blushing, but he couldn’t help it. “I mean…yeah. Tickling you just now was…was fun. I’d like to hear what other sounds you make. But not if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Ugh.” The first-year covered his face with his hands. “You’re the cool one, Asahi. I’d never let anyone else do this, you know? You’re the only one allowed to see me like this.”

Asahi’s heart leapt. “So…is it okay? Or do you want me to stop?”

“It’s my thighs.”

There was a pause. Taking that as an invitation, Asahi cautiously reached out to try said spot, but stopped when he realized Noya was still hiding. He leaned forward and gently pried his hands away, forcing him to make eye contact. The ace smiled, then carefully grabbed one of the libero’s thighs and squeezed.

Noya spasmed again, his smile back in an instant, and just as instantly covered up again.

“Don’t hide,” Asahi said, pulling his hands away again. “I want to see that smile.”

“You’re the worst,” Noya whined, giggling. “The actual worst. I can’t believe I’m letting you do this to me-EEEEEE!! NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

Asahi chuckled, scratching and scribbling along his thighs, enjoying how the lightest touch forced him into this amount of hysterics. “You know what, Noya? This is way more than just cute. This is cool.” He found the inner thighs and kneaded, making the libero toss his head back and scream like a banshee. “This is really, really cool.”

“NO IT’S NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOT!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASAHIIIEEEEEE!!”

“Yes it is! Seeing you laugh so freely like that, like you don’t care who’s watching or listening? That’s really awesome. You’re the coolest, Noya.”

“SHUT UP, SHUT UHUHUHUHUHUHUHUP!!”

“Don’t be rude! I’m your upperclassman. I know what I’m talking about.” Asahi left Noya’s thighs, darting back up to his ribs and scribbling wildly, enjoying the tussle of trying to keep up while the little libero squirmed around on the ground, curling up, giggling wildly. “You’re so cool. The best first-year in the bunch. Don’t tell the others, though.”

“Please,” Noya wheezed, grabbing onto Asahi’s wrists, too weak to actually push them away. “Please, stohohohohop tehehehehelling me I’m cohohohohool whihihihihile you’re tihihihihihickling me!”

“But you are!” Asahi insisted, grinning at how red Noya’s cheeks were becoming. “I already thought you were cool, but your laughter is awesome. I think you’re cool whether you’re ticklish or not. I want you to believe me. Do you, Noya? Do you believe me?”

“Yehehehehehes, all rihihihihight, I’m the c-cohohohohohoolest kid on the theheheheheam!” Noya relented, giggling so hard he was gasping for breath. “Plehehehehease, stahahahahahap it! Let me gohohohohoho!”

Beaming, Asahi did as he was asked, allowing Noya to catch his breath before reaching down to squeeze his shoulder. “You’re the best, you know that? When you’re around I always want to do better. To improve. Having you share this with me and letting me indulge a little bit makes me feel like I can do anything. Because if our cool, confident libero trusts me enough to do this, there’s nothing I can’t do. Right?”

Nishinoya looked up at him incredulously, then burst out laughing all over again. “Oh my god, you’re such a sap!” he cried, clutching his stomach as he rolled onto his side. “All right, fine, you’ve convinced me. I’m glad my being so stupidly ticklish makes you feel invincible.”

“You’re not stupidly ticklish. You’re extremely ticklish,” Asahi countered, reaching down to scribble at his belly. “Because you’re an extremely cool person.”

Noya beamed, giggling, allowing his friend to have a little more fun at his expense.

From that day forward, he never called his sensitivity stupid again.

[queen-haq]

Alive - Part 4

Summary: Aidan traced the thin chain around his neck, rubbing the infinity pendant between his fingers. No longer a symbol of their everlasting love, it was something he touched in anger when he thought of Sage. It was the only thing of hers that still remained with him after eight years, the last possession which still connected them together. When he 4did find Sage again, and he would no matter how long it took, he planned to destroy the pendant - and her.

Taking place across two timelines, Alive tells the story of Aidan and Sage, high school sweethearts driven apart by who they are and where they come from. Once enemies then lovers, their relationship runs full circle when they meet again in the present, now prepared to destroy each other.

My Masterlist (contains links to previous parts)

Sage sat on the outside bleachers with her friends, watching the soccer team practice in preparation for the big game later that week. While Tara was intently watching the action, critiquing the players' strengths and weaknesses, Anna and David were simply there for the eye candy. Just like Sage.

"Does Theo walk around the house like that?" Anna asked.

Sage glanced over at her half-brother. Theo had removed his jersey, revealing a muscular upper body. "Ew."

"Are you kidding me? He's fine," David added in a wistful tone.

It was on the tip of her tongue that Theo was her brother when she remembered they didn't know the truth. "Guess he's not my type."

"Forget Theo," Anna said. "I want some of that."

Sage followed Anna's gaze and realised her friend was talking about Aidan. With his sun-kissed skin and sparkling eyes, he was perched in front of the net before leaping up high in the air to block the ball from going in. A wave of cheer erupted from a small crowd gathered on the other bleachers, consisting mostly of sophomore girls, and he flashed a bright smile in their direction. "Looks like he already has a fan club, babe."

"I wish Aidan would take his shirt off," Angela sighed.

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind that at all," David added.

Tara remained blissfully unaware of their conversation. "Westview has a pretty strong team but I think we have a good shot. As long as Theo and Aidan don't fuck it up."

"Sage, isn't Aidan always hanging out at your place? Is he back together with Cat?" Angela prodded.

"I don't know. I don't really talk to him."

"Ugh, what good are you?"

Sage chuckled.

"I heard Cat's dating someone else. Some guy from college. And Aidan is pissed about it," David said. "And she's planning on bringing him to the game on Friday night."

"Really?" Tara asked. "I hope Aidan doesn't get distracted by all that bullshit. He needs to focus on the game."

"Oh my God, will you just chill about the stupid game? Nobody actually cares about that shit, you know," Angela huffed.

As the group bickered over the importance of the game against their rivals, Sage focused her attention on Aidan. The top half of his uniform was drenched with sweat. His eyes, squinting under the glare of the hot sun, remained glued to the ball. Her thoughts turned to the scars on his body, and she wondered if his teammates ever questioned him about the wounds. They must have. How did Aidan explain the marks away? Or did he find some way to hide them when he was in the change room? No matter how much she tried not to think about his situation, she couldn't help herself. All her musings led to the realisation there was no way those scars were a result of a one-off fight. After all, this was Aidan. If he was involved in a brawl he'd be bragging about it instead of acting cagey as he'd done that night. Of course that meant there was something even more sinister going on with him, which was troubling.

David nudged her legs. "Chris and I are going out for dinner after the game. Want to come?"

"Yeah, sure."

She tore her gaze away from Aidan, and reminded herself to stop obsessing over him. They were not friends. She didn't even like him! And his problems were none of her business. Besides, her life was complicated enough – the last thing she needed was to borrow trouble.

***

After a long night, Sage was finally home and getting ready to hit the sheets. While she'd never been much of a sports enthusiast, watching the soccer game tonight with her friends had been a lot of fun. That was until their rivals made a comeback in the second half to score two goals, and beat the Belleville team in a heartwrenching upset. She was supposed to go for dinner with David and Anna but neither of them had been in the mood after that loss. 

An hour later she was on the brink of sleep when someone knocked on the door. A quick glance at the clock revealed it was close to one in the morning. The only one who would show up at this time would be her dad, and only if it was an emergency. She jumped out of bed and rushed to answer it, except it wasn't Thomas waiting for her on the other side – it was Aidan.

The last time Sage had seen him was after the game, when a verbal fight broke out between Aidan and a player from Westview. Aidan had already been in a foul mood due to the loss, and being taunted by the other team certainly hadn't helped matters any. If it hadn't been for Theo dragging him away, she suspected there would have been a huge brawl right then and there. Now here he was, face twisted in pain. He was gripping the door frame like he was unable to stand on his own without support. "Aidan, what happened?"

"Can I come in?"

"Of course."

He limped inside, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and encouraged him to lean on her while they made their way towards her bed. When he finally sat down on one corner, grimacing in pain, she studied him closely. He wouldn't look at her, his gaze locked on the floor. There were no bruises on his face, but she knew, instinctively, his body was covered in them. That dreadful feeling returned to her stomach. As much as she wanted answers, now was not the time. He needed help and support right now, not an interrogation. Aidan was wearing his bomber jacket which she suspected was causing him added discomfort. Without asking she removed it from his shoulders, and then realised maybe she shouldn't have. It was intrusive to assume he needed help when he hadn't actually asked for it. Embarrassed, she took a step back. Her stomach clenched with anxiety at the devastated expression that still marked his features. She felt helpless. "What do you need, Aidan?"

It was a long time before he spoke. "I shouldn't have come here."

"Don't worry about it. Do you want me to get Theo? Cat? Tell me what to do."

"Just let me rest for a while?"

The tremor in his voice broke her heart. "Stay as long as you want."

Sage paced back and forth for several minutes, pondering her next move. It wasn't until the flicker of annoyance in his gaze that she recognised her fidgeting was probably making things worse. Finally she took a seat on the bed, her body partially turned towards him in case he needed anything.

After a while she reached out and hesitantly laid her hand on top of his. Her father had done the same when she sat next to her mom's bed in the hospital, staring at the lifeless body that once used to be such a vibrant personality. In that moment the simple gesture by Thomas had provided her with much needed comfort; she wanted to do the same for Aidan.

They sat there in silence, the air thick with tension as the minutes ticked by. It was difficult for her to remain still, to patiently wait for him to talk, but she reminded herself whatever he was going through was much bigger than her feelings.

Soon after, his fingers brushed her own. "Can you help me with my shirt?"

"Yeah, sure."

Sage moved to stand in front of him, aware of his keen gaze following her every action as she unbuttoned his shirt. Despite her best efforts not to betray any emotion, her fingers trembled as soon as she spotted the red, angry wounds on his chest. "Are you okay to walk to the bathroom? It'll be easier to clean up in there."

"Whatever you want, Florence Nightingale."

His attempt at humour was obviously for her benefit, and she didn't want to make things awkward by not playing along. "I'm surprised you even know who she is." He rose to his feet, and they walked to the bathroom together. His body weighed heavily against her own. She worried the physical contact would further aggravate his pain, but he didn't complain. Once inside, he sat on the edge of the bathtub while she searched for alcohol wipes and bandages in the medicine cabinet.

"Nightingale was a porn star, right? Did some porn as a sexy nurse?"

She returned his smile. "Something like that."

"You aspiring to be a porn star or a sexy nurse?"

"Shut up."

Kneeling down in front of him, she tended to his chest and stomach. At one point he hissed with pain, but when she checked on him he simply gave her a fake smile. He may not have asked, but she discerned she needed to be more gentle. After every swipe of the alcohol swab, she blew softly on his skin to ease the sting. Shortly after she jumped into the tub to clean the cuts on his back.

"Why are you helping me, Sage?"

Her hands paused as she pondered an answer for him. In the end, she went with the truth.

"I don't know."

"Not sure why I'm here either."

"Looks like we're in the same boat."

"Or tub."

She rolled her eyes at his lame joke.

They returned to the bedroom a bit later, and he kicked off his shoes before she helped him onto the bed.

"I'll leave soon, I promise," he said, leaning on the headboard behind for support.

"Don't be stupid. You can stay the night."

"How do I know you're not going to seduce me while I'm sleeping?"

"Guess you'll just have to risk it." About to walk away, she froze when he reached out to grab her elbow. The warmth of his skin against hers was strange, exhilarating, and entirely too intimate. As if experiencing the same awkwardness, he removed his hand immediately.

"I'm sorry for showing up here."

"I told you it was fine."

"I was an asshole to you." He hesitated, regarding her with an expression she didn't quite understand. "I'm sorry I said shit about your mom."

Remembering his disrespectful words from their first interaction unleashed a fresh wave of anger and hurt, and she leveled him with a hostile stare. "Don't ever insult her again."

"I won't. I swear."

His emphatic response gave her pause. He seemed genuinely regretful, and she found herself softening again. "Do you need anything else?"

"No."

She contemplated ignoring that little voice in her head that wanted answers. In the end, however, she couldn't. "Can I ask you something?" Panic flashed in his eyes, quickly replaced by a blank mask and she realised he didn't want to share what happened. "Never mind."

He exhaled a heavy sigh. "No, it's fine. I owe you that at least."

Careful not to touch him, she sat at the foot of the bed. "Is it your dad who does this to you?"

His eyes widened slightly. A multitude of emotions – anger, shock, embarrassment – flooded over his face while he squirmed under her observation. Even if he didn't say anything, she already had her answer. Her heart started pounding in her chest. "Have you ever told anyone?"

A bitter laugh escaped his throat. "Why would I do that?"

His attitude was perplexing. "Because what he's doing is wrong. Because he hurts you-"

"Only when I'm acting like a bitch." He shrugged his shoulders. "Or when I embarrass him, like I did tonight."

"Are you fucking kidding me? This isn't your fault!"

"Spare me the bullshit. I'm not some poor little rich kid.”

He glanced away, his lips pursed into a thin fine.

"Look at me, Aidan."

He obeyed, even as his chin jutted out defiantly. "What?"

"You're the biggest jackass I know. I think I hate you more than I've hated anyone before."

"This supposed to make me feel better?”

"No one deserves this kind of abuse, not even you. And this is coming from a person who can’t stand you."

There was a storm brewing in his eyes, the hazel in them transitioning into a hue so dark it was, frankly, intimidating. "Hate me that much, huh?"

"Just being honest. I don't see the point of sugar-coating things."

His lips shaped into a genuine smile. "Me neither. It's annoying."

"Then you know I'm telling the truth. You don't deserve this." Maybe it was a good thing he was silent. As much as she wanted to understand where he was coming from, his refusal to believe her was frustrating. "What he's doing is wrong. You get that, don't you?"

"It doesn't matter, anyway. He's leaving for New York tomorrow. I won't have to see him for a while."

"Until he comes home and decides to do it again," she pointed out. "I can help you, if you want."

"You already have."

"No, I don't mean like this. I... can talk to someone, get you the help you need." As soon as the words left her mouth, he started to scoot off the bed even while flinching. "Aidan, stop. What are you doing?" With one hand on his chest and the other wrapped around his shoulder, she blocked him from getting up.

"Get away from me. I don't want anything from you," he gritted through clenched teeth. "This is my life. You don't get to fuck with it!"

"He has to stop hurting you!"

"Why the hell did I think I could trust you?"

"Okay, okay. Calm down!" Using all her strength, she grappled his arms. "I won't say anything." He finally stilled, close to tears. Seeing him so distraught broke her heart; she reached up to cradle his face. "I won't, okay?"

"Swear to me."

"I promise." He scanned her face, his gaze piercing into her. At first he seemed to be gauging her sincerity but then something shifted, as if he was searching inside her for something she wasn't quite willing to give. Their close proximity, the intensity of his stare – it all left her feeling unsettled. Needing some distance, she urged him to sit back on the bed. "Get some sleep. You're probably exhausted."

"Where are you going?"

"I'll crash on the couch."

"You can sleep here with me."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

He offered her an amused smile. "You think I'm going to try and fuck you?"

"Maybe."

"You're not my type, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot you like skinny blondes. How very diverse of you."

"Checking out my exes?"

She chuckled. Bantering with him was so much more easier – and comfortable – than having to deal with the tension that crept in between them. "If I sleep here, you swear to keep your hands to yourself?"

"Couldn't do much even if I wanted to."

"Well then, scoot over. Unlike your skinny exes, I take up space when I sleep."

"To be fair, they're usually on top of me. And not exactly sleeping."

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up."

He shifted over, allowing her to lie down next to him. Despite putting on a brave front earlier, Sage was now having second thoughts about sharing a bed with him. Something told her sleep wouldn't come easy tonight. "I'm going to leave the lights on."

"Okay."

Wringing her hands together, she stared up at the ceiling.

"I think you need new pyjamas."

She smiled, surprised it had taken him this long to comment on them. Torn and tattered, they were her favourite pair. She had spent many a Sunday mornings in them, lazing around the apartment with her mom. "I think you need to shut up."

"If you want to take them off, I'm okay with it. I just want you to be comfortable."

"So sweet of you.”

"Hey, I’m a sweet guy.”

"No wonder you have so many girls throwing themselves at you."

"Well that, and because I'm hot."

"And humble."

His soft chuckle helped alleviate some of her stress.

"You really hate this place, don't you?" he asked.

"Not all the time."

"Just when Cat goes after you?"

"I can handle her. It's her friends I can't stand, especially when they start with that terrorist shit."

"Don't let them get to you."

"Easier said than done."

"They're idiots."

"They're ignorant. You'd think they'd be smart considering the advantages they've had."

"You think money makes people smarter? Come on, you know better than that."

"Yeah, you're right." She sighed. "Cat hates me for what my parents did. Her friends hate me for being Muslim. I just... I'm not used to being hated for things beyond my control."

"Hey."

He tapped her shoulder. She turned towards him. Despite the lack of physical contact between them, she was keenly aware of his presence.

"I can help you, you know. I can fuck them up so bad they'd be too worried about themselves to come after you."

It was not an idle threat, having been the target of his viciousness. There was darkness in him, capable of brutality, and it simultaneously intrigued and terrified her. "No, don't get involved."

"Why not?"

"Because I can take care of myself. I don't need your help."

Although his eyes flashed with irritation, he didn't argue. "Fine. But I'm here if you change your mind."

"Got it."

As they lay beside one another, eyes locked, with only a few inches of space separating them, it was all too much for her. It was easier sniping with him, or even engaging in small talk, but with Aidan's concentration fully on her and nothing to distract her from his penetrating gaze, she felt on edge. Abruptly, she turned her back to him.

"Have you met him yet?" he asked.

"Who?"

There was a brief pause before he responded. "Cat's new boytoy."

Of course he would be jealous, it was only natural as he still held feelings for his ex-girlfriend, but it still bothered Sage – and she didn't want to think about what that implied. "No. Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you anything. I'm not a narc."

"No need to get pissy. I was just curous."

"Whatever.” 

"Theo doesn't think you're all that bad."

That definitely surprised her. “Really?” Sage smiled. "At least not everyone hates me."

"I don't either."

She chose to ignore the solemnity of his voice. "Does he know... about your dad?"

Aidan tensed again, his tone bordering on acerbic. "He would never say anything. I trust him."

But was silence the right approach? How could it be considering someone was hurting Aidan? Maybe Theo wanted to seek help but Aidan had forced him to remain silent, just like with her.

"Do you miss it?" he asked.

"What?"

"Your old life."

"Yeah," she breathed softly. "A lot. I wish," she waited, trying to swallow the lump in her throat, "my mom was still alive."

"But that's never going to happen, Sage. Things would probably be a lot easier if you just accept that."

Silence filled the air once again, and she pondered the strange circumstances they were in. Aidan was the one who was hurt and in need of comfort, yet he was consoling her. Maybe he did act like a jerk most of the time but there was a side to him that was sweet and gentle. If only he didn't insist on hiding it.

Soon fatigue took over, and she relaxed enough to fall asleep.

***

Loud bursts of laughter from the pool woke her up the next morning. At first she didn't move, remembering Aidan had slept beside her. Would things be more awkward between them in the bright light of day, she wondered. When she opened her eyes, however, the space next to her was empty. Sitting up, she scanned the room for his things and found them all gone. A heavy sigh escaped her lips. His leaving was probably for the best. After all, how would she explain his presence in her room if they were to be caught? And if Cat were the one to discover them, her half-sister would hate her even more.

There were many good reasons Sage should have been thankful he'd left – yet she couldn't help but feel disappointed.