#Ugh I should have started earlier my plan to do day 17 & 18 in one didn’t quite work out

[kkeik-blog]

“who else will I eat ice cream with?”

Day 17 Theme: Swollen

[yougotthatbilly]

take care (m)

→ member: johnny seo

→ genre: assistant!johnny | smut

→ word count: 15.9k (not surprised atp)

→ playlist: body talk x majid jordan, warm x majid jordan, BoRdErSz x zayn, moment x victoria monét

→ warnings: slowburn, indecisiveness, v  self-indulgent; unprofessional relations, big dick!johnny (ofc; don’t expect anything else), soft dom!johnny, begging (johnny’s a tease), subspace, oral; face-fucking, (and if you squint, ass eating), unprotected sex, squirting, praising, overstimulation, etc. 

↳ summary: your assistant just wants to take care of you

The heavy rain outside mocks you. You were supposed to be at your favorite bar across the street, but here you are sitting at your desk, staring out your window. And that’s how Johnny finds you after being granted entrance into your office.

Your arm is propped up on the arm of your seat, cheek in hand, lips pouted. Johnny does his best not to smile at the thought of you looking adorable as not to piss you off. He just sets your cup of tea down on the coaster on the corner of your desk. 

“How was the meeting?” he asks, taking a seat on the other side of your desk. 

You slowly spin to face him, looking at him with annoyed eyes as you take a sip of your tea. It’s the perfect temperature—a temperature Johnny took almost a month to perfect— and sweetness, and it instantly makes you feel a little better.

“Don’t worry,” you sigh. “Jiyoung didn’t get fired.” You have a three-strike policy; this incident is the second strike.

“Jaehyun,” Johnny corrects, grinning.

You tilt your head at his correction. “I care?”

Johnny just shakes his head, knowing you’re being petty because Jaehyun got his dates wrong and uploaded a post on a few new products a week earlier than the scheduled date, resulting in having to speed things up a little. It didn’t cause a major problem because you’re typically prepared for the worst case scenario, but you don’t like feeling rushed and when things don’t go as planned, so you were pissed. 

“What’s his punishment?”

“That’s between me and him,” you tell Johnny before taking another sip. Your lip curls in disgust at the suggestive look your assistant gives you. “Okay, let’s not be gross. He’s a child.”

“I didn’t know 23 was considered a child,” Johnny teases, mostly because the man of the hour has had a crush on you for the last year he’s been working for you and he’s been trying to get Johnny to talk him up to you. 

“I didn’t know you wanted to get fired in his place,” you say with a tight smile. Johnny decides to switch the subject.

“Mind me asking why you looked so sad when I walked in?”

You sigh once more, slouching in your seat.

“I wanted to go to the bar…” You point to the window beside you. Johnny follows your finger and watches the storm that hasn’t let up since it started half an hour ago. “That’s not happening anytime soon.”

You’ve either been in your office working nonstop or sleeping for the last week or so and you can feel a burnout creeping up. You were going to walk to the bar to get the fresh air you needed, enjoy a drink and your favorite wings because you deserve it—especially after the headache Jaehyun caused the moment you stepped foot into your office this morning—and indulge yourself. Now look at you, hardly munching on the fruit slices Johnny gave you this morning and almost finished with your tea.

“I’m sorry things aren’t going the way you planned today.” Johnny pouts. “On the bright side, you don’t have anything else on your schedule so if you wanted to go home within the next hour, you wouldn’t fall behind.”

“I’ll probably just take a nap on the futon once I’m done looking over the new plan again.” You shrug. 

Johnny wants to roll his eyes, but he catches himself. He’s sure you’ve already gone over it at least five times. There’s nothing he can do about it, though, so lifts himself out of his seat. “I’ll leave you to it. Just give me a call if something comes up or you change your mind.”

To both of your surprise, you actually head out and get yourself a candle you’d ran out of a week ago on the way home to treat yourself to a much needed bath filled with bubbles and essential oils. The scent of the candle reminds you of your assistant because it’s the scent he got you for your birthday, and it’s become your favorite. 

You send a picture of the candle at the end of your tub to Johnny, thanking him again for putting you onto greatness, as he worded it before when you first smelled it in front of him and your eyes practically rolled back. 

[18:14] John Suh: Are you actually relaxing???

You suck your teeth at his response, but you can’t blame him. He’s the only one that knows just how much you put in to get to the position you’re in, while you’re positive a lot of others just think it was handed to you by your mother instead of the school and endless hours work you went through and continue to go through. It’s very rare you give yourself the time to truly sit back and relax aside from when you’re on vacation. And even then, work never really stops. It just gets placed on the back burner for a little.

[18:16] you: Hush.

[18:17] John Suh: I’m just glad you’re taking care of yourself. Your dark circles have been snitching on you.

[18:17] you: Wow. You really wanna get fired today, huh?

[18:18] John Suh: Dark circles or not, you know you’re still beautiful. Now stop texting me and enjoy your bath!

When you find yourself smiling at your phone, you know you should do exactly what he says. Johnny’s always been a complimenter, though his usual kindness goes along the lines of telling you that you look nice. You’re no stranger to this specific compliment, you get it all the time on Instagram from your business partners and supporters. So why does this time settle differently within you?

[18:21] you: Nice save. 

You need a video of one of your popular social media influencer ambassadors using and reviewing your newest skincare products tomorrow—due to Jaehyun’s mix-up—but that’s not happening. She didn’t record it before going on vacation and didn’t think to bring the products with her on her trip. While it isn’t her fault times have moved around, you’re annoyed she didn’t bring the products with her when she’s supposed to be using them every day because she’s one of your main advocates for your products being oily skin-friendly. You have the videos of the other models with their specific skin types, and this is your missing piece. 

The weather is nice today, so you take a much-needed break from electronics and go to the roof of the building. Your peace is quickly interrupted by the body of a six-foot male in front of you, standing in the way of the sunlight you were basking in.

“I know you hate him right now,” Johnny begins, skipping over greetings to get to the point of his disruption. “But Jaehyun has oily skin, he’s been using the products you gave him for like three weeks, he really likes them, and he has a good following on Instagram.”

You take the phone handed to you begrudgingly and look at Jaehyun’s page. Thirteen thousand followers and quality pictures. You’re not blind, Jaehyun is conventionally attractive and looks like a model in the photos and boomerangs. Something is missing, though. “Eh.”

“‘Eh?’” Johnny parrots, confused. He doesn’t know a better last-minute model for you than Jaehyun.

“Something’s missing,” you explain with a shrug. You absentmindedly tap the profile icon at the bottom of the screen and Johnny’s Instagram profile pops up. The two of you follow each other, so it’s not like you’ve never seen his pictures, but it’s been a while since you actually paid attention to detail. He has eighteen thousand followers and apparently uploads his pictures following a color theme. There are pictures of himself, random people, and nature in a strategic flow. When you select a video to watch, you’re sold on the lighting, exposure, and the way he captured the woman’s features. “Sit.”

Johnny does so without any questions. You gently grab his jaw and study his face closely. His skin is supple and dewy, the sun highlighting his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. Not that his skin was bad before he started using your products, but the texture and scarring have minimized quite a bit. Johnny doesn’t have the typical, bland model face your competitors love so much, especially with the slight stubble he’s got above his top lip and on his chin. 

“What’s your skin type, John?” 

“Oily,” he sighs, knowing what’s coming next. He was doing his job as your assistant, trying to make your life easier, but now he wishes he would’ve left this task to the social media department and stayed out of it. 

You thought so. “Will you do this for me instead?”

“Do I look like an influencer to you?” 

“Yes. I’ll double your next check and everything,” you promise him. “You actually have a personality and everything you post is quality. Women will love the eye candy and all types of men will take you seriously because you don’t have that annoying pristine, perfect look to you like Jaeyoung does.”

Johnny is here to fulfill your needs, so he knows you asking is really just you being polite. He doesn’t have much of a choice, especially with the lack of time you have. He is enjoying the warmth of your hand and the fact you referred to him as ‘eye candy,’ too. And who is he to say no to extra money?

“I’ll have it recorded and edited by midnight,” Johnny smiles, giving you the hope you need. 

“Ugh, you’re the best,” you sigh in relief, shaking his face side to side affectionately before letting him go to stand up. You feel much better now. “Send it directly to me.” 

Johnny stands up with you and leads the way, opening the door for you. “Yes, ma’am.”

Always true to his word, Johnny emails you two links at a quarter-till, with a message attached: 

Good evening, 

I edited two videos for you, one short enough for a regular post on the company’s page and the other that could be used for my IGTV for my followers. I hope these meet your expectations, but if there’s anything you need me to fix or redo, let me know and I’ll get right to it. 

Sincerely, 

John Suh

You get comfortable in your bed with your iPad and tap the first link. You make sure the brightness and volume are high enough to get the full effect, then press play. The quality of the film makes you assume he used a professional camera instead of his phone, and he gets a point for that. 

“Hey,” Johnny starts with an awkwardly endearing smile. “I know this is a little different than what I usually post, but I got scouted by the skincare goddess herself to be an ambassador for Surreal’s new line of skincare, Ethereal.”

You grin at the nickname and note that with him being in the bathroom, there’s no echo in his audio, and that gives him another point.

“I’ve been using the four of the five products I’m about to introduce to you everyday for around a month and before I do my skincare routine for you, I’ll show you what my skin looked like before I started using these products with dates so you don’t think I’m just trying to sell you on them just because she’s been writing my checks for the last year,” Johnny chuckles, then the screen shows a selfie Johnny took with the date of a month ago from today, some hyperpigmentation and small bumps dotting his cheek and jaw. 

Another point for including before and afters. You knew he’d meet your expectations without you having to say much.  

“I’ll get up close and personal at the end so you can really see the results,” Johnny winks into the camera, causing you to blink. 

You knew he’d have personality and that was one of the main reasons he was a great idea, and while in hindsight his actions are predictable, you shake your head. The fact that he’s actually charming makes you scoff, but you’re sure that the damn wink only worked on you right now because it’s almost midnight and you should be asleep right now. You won’t act like he hasn’t always been nice on the eyes, but he’s Johnny. 

You can’t deny that you do thoroughly enjoy the Johnny presented to you through the screen, though. 

“The first product is an oil-based cleanser because the SPF in this collection is oil-based as well,” Johnny explains, then proceeds to show the jar and small spatula that comes with it before he scooped some out, capturing the texture of the product well. 

And that’s how the rest of the video plays out, the unusually deep, gentle tone of Johnny’s voice explaining how well each product works for his oily and acne-prone skin, lulling you into a relaxed state against your headboard. He keeps things short and simple, the video just barely passing three minutes and as promised, his face comes a lot closer to the screen, showing the faded scarring and smooth texture of what used to be his problem areas. Johnny ends the video with a sweet smile and says goodbye. The shorter video is edited to where he’s hardly talking, mostly just demoing your products, just the way you like things to be on the company’s page.

You did great, John. Thanks again for doing this last minute. You can come in at 10 am tomorrow since I had you working overtime today. Rest well. 

Johnny is at your desk with your morning cup of tea at eight in the morning, a bright smile on his face as he tells you good morning. 

You glare at him. “Why are you here?”

“Because it’s my job?” Johnny says, pretending like he doesn’t know what you’re referring to. You can read him well, though. You take the mug out of his hand before gesturing for him to take a seat in front of you. 

“You’re either being hard-headed as usual, or you’re anxious about your video being uploaded. Which is it?” 

And that wipes the bright smile off of his face. 

“I slept three hours last night,” he confesses. “I’m not used to this kind of exposure.”

You take a couple of sips of your tea and quietly observe him, thinking. 

“Would you prefer we didn’t post it, then?”

Your assistant looks at you as if you didn’t just speak one of the languages he’s fluent in. You just blink at him and continue drinking your beverage, waiting for him to either say yes or no in case you need to make other plans, again.

“You’d do that for me?” he finally says after a while of staring at you like you’re crazy. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” you ask slowly. “You’ve proven how far you’d go for me and I appreciate it, but I care about you as a person and anxiety is a bitch, so I wouldn’t want you to be panicking over Jaejoon’s mistake.”

The corner of Johnny’s lift curls at your continued pettiness, and maybe his heart does a thing at the fact that you care that much about him. It’s obvious to everyone that he is the closest to you out of all of your employees; being your assistant means you let your guard down a little with him. Along with the more serious side of your personality everyone else gets (especially recently), he sees your soft side. You’re not an overly strict boss, but Johnny gets to see you smile more and pout (he’d lose his job if he admitted to you how endearing your pout is to him). But even with the closer relationship the two of you have, Johnny would’ve never expected you to choose his stage fright over your baby; your company.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” Johnny declines with a shake of his head. “I’ll be okay, I promise. Thank you for considering my feelings, though.”

You shrug, not about to press him on the issue. “Alright. I need you to post the IGTV at 2 pm and tag our page in an appropriate caption. I’d suggest you turn your notifications off for a while because as soon as you post it, it’s getting posted to our story then I’m sure you’re gonna get flooded with DM’s.”

“Flooded?’” Johnny asks, head tilted. “I mean, all I’ll have to do is copy and paste the same message answering any questions they might have about the products. Easy.”

You’re the one to look at him like he’s stupid this time. You set your mug down, lean back in your swivel chair, and clasp your hands over your stomach. “You can’t be that dense.”

“‘Dense?’” he asks.

“Are you a parrot?” you tsk. “But yes, dense. You know good and well most of the messages will have nothing to do with my products and everything to do with you.”

Johnny has the audacity to still be confused after your explanation. 

“John, you realize you’re a good-looking guy with a likable personality, right?” 

It’s not that he doesn’t know that. Johnny’s always been a pretty confident guy, with both his looks and personality. His confusion doesn’t stem from being blind or too humble. It’s the fact you of all people are telling him this right now. 

“You think so?” he prompts, just to see how many compliments he can get out of you. This is a rare occasion.

“When you’re not being annoyingly happy-go-lucky and chill out, yes.” You reply. And now he’s pouting. That’s what he gets.

“I thought my cheerfulness brought joy to your days,” Johnny says with a dramatic hand on his heart, offended.

“What brings me joy is everything running smoothly and everyone doing their job,” you correct. He isn’t wrong, but you decide not to stroke his ego any more than you already have. And you’ve already said too much. “With that being said, you do everything I ask of you, and that brings me so much joy. You’re the perfect assistant, so don’t cry.”

“Is this your way of telling me to calm down?”

Your iPad buzzes against the wood of your desk and when you peek at it, you see it’s an email from Jaehyun with the subject: Today’s upload schedule.

“This is my way of telling you to get to work, honey.”

Johnny often finds himself slowly backing out of your office with his hands up in surrender, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He loves the distinct differences between the two of you. He figures it’s why you work so well together and why he’s held this job position for over a year in comparison to the two assistants before him that both got fired before the six-month mark. Johnny’s also positive that you love his excessively positive nature (as Jaehyun has described Johnny’s personality before) somewhere deep down and that he brightens your day after dealing with idiots like Jaehyun. 

When your assistant is out of sight, you grab your iPad, respond to Jaehyun’s email, and find yourself rewatching today’s scheduled video. Maybe more than once. 

The video is up at 2 pm sharp and Johnny does as advised, turning his Instagram notifications off immediately. He even goes as far as taking his phone off of vibrate so he isn’t aware of any other notifications until he decides to look at his phone again. He’s got things to organize anyway, so the work he has to do takes his mind off of any anxiety within him. 

That is until you appear at the doorway of his office an hour later. This is a rare occurrence, so Johnny can’t be blamed for staring at you, and in the process, he appreciates the very fitted pantsuit you’re wearing. You took off the blazer sometime in between when Johnny left your office hours ago and now, and he thinks that the blush pink blouse compliments your complexion and red lips very well. But of course it does. Everything you wear compliments everything about you perfectly. 

Just one of the many observations Johnny has made in the past year.

“How do you feel?” you ask him. Your voice is always so calm and collected, even when you’re ripping someone to shreds because of idiocy. Johnny admittedly admires that about you.

“I’ve done everything under the sun to avoid my phone,” Johnny confesses with a weak laugh.

You nod. “Well, just know that I’ve had multiple companies and modeling agencies ask why I’ve been hiding you. So don’t be surprised if you have job opportunities waiting for you.” 

“Wow… this means I can finally quit,” Johnny hardly whispers with a victorious fist pump.

“I wish the hell you would,” you deadpan, breaking Johnny’s act and causing him to laugh loudly at the lack of expression paired with your response. “You’re mine unless there’s a tragic accident, God forbid, or you’re moving up in the ranks.”

“Promise?” 

“Promise,” you confirm, sending him a wink before turning on your heel and strutting back to your own office. Johnny licks his lips at the sight of the natural sway of your hips before shaking his head and getting back to working on the excel sheet staring at him.

“How is it that you all have the skills and training for the very simple tasks I ask you to complete, yet lack common sense and proper work ethic?” 

Everyone in the room, excluding Johnny, just looks up at you from their seats, pitiful expressions on their faces. Their eyes follow you as you slowly walk to the other side of the room. You’re trying to stay calm and be professional, so pacing around the room is your best bet. 

To Johnny, you look like you’re on a runway in slow motion, modeling the slim-fitting pencil skirt and red bottoms you’re adorning. Though still attentive to every word coming out of your mouth, Johnny lets himself get lost in each step you take because he’s not the one getting chewed out. 

Mark, one of the newest additions to the marketing department, leans into Johnny’s side to whisper into his ear. “How have you managed to not fuck up and be on the receiving end of her talks yet?”

You don’t hear anything, but you see whispering happening, and now is not the time for side conversations. Johnny doesn’t even have the chance to turn to Mark or tell him to shut up until the end of the meeting before you’re speaking again.

“Mark Lee,” you call as you make your way towards him, causing him to sit up straight. “Is there something you’d like to say?”

“No, ma’am,” he responds nervously. Johnny internally shakes his head at Mark not being able to think quickly and lie. “My apologies.”

“Is there anything anyone wants to say or am I just a narcissist who loves talking to hear my lovely voice? Should I sing?” you ask, standing next to Johnny at the end of the conference table, hand on your hip. “Y’all want a performance?”

Johnny bites the inside of his cheek to refrain from laughing. Your sarcasm only intensifies the unsettled looks on everyone’s face and they all side-eye Jungwoo, their savior from the last time they got chewed out as a whole. Jungwoo raises his hand before saying, “There’s nothing we can say to excuse our actions—or lack thereof, but we will get right on it and do our jobs correctly this time. You won’t have to repeat yourself again.”

Johnny is impressed at how quickly your features soften. The ready-to-fire-someone look melts away as you nod at Jungwoo’s promise. You do have a bit of a soft spot for the latter, though, so it makes sense. 

“I’ll take your word for it. You’re dismissed,” you announce, waving everyone off. 

The room is empty, save for you and your assistant, in mere seconds. 

“You’re going to give them nightmares,” Johnny chuckles, gathering your belongings before opening the door for you to exit the conference room. He laughs once more at your responding yawn.

“How? That was me on my best behavior,” you retort, your heels clicking loudly as you walk to the elevator. “And what was Lee whispering about?”

“Your employees are just amazed that I’ve kept you satisfied for so long.”

You walk into the elevator once the doors slide open and lean against the mirrored wall, arms crossed. Your eyes are squinted as you give Johnny a once over. He has done everything right since he completed his training. “You think you can keep me satisfied?” 

There’s a challenging tone in your voice that causes Johnny to lick his lips. “I’d never disappoint you.”

Your response is a nod of your head paired with a drawn-out hum, and then you walk out of the elevator to your office once you hit your floor, walking ahead of Johnny without another word. You laugh at yourself when you replay the short conversation in your mind at the feeling you got in your gut at his response. And then you’re scoffing because, once again, it’s Johnny.

Johnny… Over six feet, amicable, charming, handsome as all hell Johnny. The scene of him licking his lips and saying those four words in that promising, deep voice in the elevator flashes through your mind once you’re seated at your desk. Your fingernail taps against the wood as you roll your lips together, stuck in your head. The ironic conclusion you come to before getting back to work is that you’re working way too much and just lacking male attention because there’s no other plausible reason for your goofy-ass assistant to have been on your mind so much for the last couple of days. 

“Really?” Johnny asks when he walks in and sees you slumped over your desk.

Your eyes flutter open at his voice.

“I was just resting my eyes” you yawn, waving him off. 

“What work is there possibly left for you to do at this point?” The products go on the market tomorrow, meaning all the work that had to be done in preparation for the launch was completed before everyone left today (the marketing department got their shit together quickly because they know about your policy and how unforgiving you are when the deadline is right around the corner). The only thing left for your marketing team to do tomorrow is look over everything once more and then you’re free to sit back and wait for customers to buy the new products and idly watch over social media if you really wanted to. It frustrates Johnny that you always find something extra to do. 

“I was doing some last minute, um”— another yawn —“touches on the-”

“Well, that’s enough,” Johnny interrupts your explanation, walking around to your side of the desk and plucking the pen out of your hand.

 You just nod and lean back in your ridiculously big swivel chair, blinking up at him slowly, because he’s right. There’s literally nothing else for you to do and you have the most full coverage concealer under your eyes; you need to rest. 

“Am I driving you home tonight?” He asks as he packs your belongings into the massive purse on the box by your feet then places it on your desk so he doesn’t have to bend back down to retrieve it.

“Yeah, I don’t feel like moving,” you mumble, thankful you spent so much money on the chair you’re oh-so comfortable in. 

Johnny puts his hands out for you to grab, and once you do so, he pulls you up. You groan and lean forward into him to catch your balance after not being on your feet for many hours, but then Johnny’s hand on firm on the middle of your lower back, and the pressure makes you stay. He’s just helping you steady yourself, a position you’ve been in once or twice before because you like to push your limits (says both your therapist and your assistant), but he smells good and he’s warm; his presence is comforting. It always has been, which is why he’s made the perfect assistant for you. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, looking down at the top of your head that simply nods in response.

“Think I pushed my limit,” you admit, much to your assistant’s surprise. It’s not that you’re prideful, but you don’t exactly like showing weakness, especially in front of your employees.

Though tempted to just let you rest your head on his chest because he doesn’t mind the proximity at all and knows you’re somehow comfortable, Johnny makes sure you’re standing steadily by yourself so he can drape your coat over your shoulders. He grabs your purse and wraps an arm around your waist then guides you out of your office, all the way to the parking garage, saying goodbye to the confused cleaning staff on his way out. 

He presses the button on the handle of the passenger side’s door to unlock it, opens the door, then fits you inside of his car. Johnny leans over your body to buckle your seat belt, and when he’s back away, he catches you looking at him with a look he can’t quite decipher. 

“What’s up?”

You shake your head and blink slowly. “I just really appreciate you, John.”

Johnny just nods to save face and closes the door before making his way to the driver’s seat. He’s not quite sure how to feel or respond to the soft-spoken, sleepy side of you since it’s been months since the one other time you’ve been in a similar situation, and he wasn’t as smitten as he is now. 

You’re fighting your sleep because even though you trust Johnny, you want to be as aware during this trip to your house. It’s a hard feat, though. His car is big and comfortable and the hum of the engine is trying to lull you into a deep sleep. 

Johnny looks over at you after getting on the main road and notices your internal fight. 

“You can fall asleep, you know.”

“You might take my organs.” 

“I would’ve done that a long time ago if I wanted to,” Johnny humors you. His response brings a small smile to your face, and that keeps a smile on his own. 

“You have a really pretty smile, John.”

“Thank you,” Johnny says, figuring it’s just your exhaustion talking. 

“I’m almost jealous of how pretty your lips are,” you sigh, mouth not filtering your thoughts at this point of exhaustion (you’ve gotten 10 hours of sleep in the last week, but no one, especially not Johnny, needs to know that). You don’t care enough to try to “correct” yourself because the pretty curl of his lips gets even deeper.

“Really?” Johnny asks, trying his luck again because he’s sure tonight isn’t like the other day in your office. “You think my lips are pretty?”

You hum and cuddle into his seat even more. After staring at his profile a while longer, you tell him, “I think you’re pretty.”

That makes him laugh again, taken aback at the string of compliments coming out of your mouth towards him of all people. It’s not that you’re mean or don’t applaud him for his great work, but this is a very different side of you that he’s seeing. He likes it.

“That’s a first, but I’ll take it,” he says, taking a moment to look at you again before focusing on the road again. “Thank you.”

“Are you used to hearing ‘handsome?’ ‘Fine?’ ‘Sexy?’” You notice how Johnny’s brows lift. “Too far?”

He shakes his head. “No, you’re good. I like you when you’re nice.”

“You like me regardless,” you say with a sassy scoff, pretending to flip your hair even though it’s slicked back in a low bun, the same as every workday.

Johnny nods slowly, contemplating if he should humor you or just laugh you off. It literally takes him 0.5 seconds to go with the former option because he’s been waiting for the day the two of you step out of professional talk and get into something more personal, specifically between the two of you. “You got me there. I mean, what isn’t there to like?”

Your eyes squint as you analyze him and process his words. There’s a subtle but still very noticeable shift in the air after his question, and while you’re sure it’s your fault for letting your exhaustion let you feel comfortable enough to open your mouth and start spewing out nice things to your assistant, his response is enough to keep it up. It also doesn't help that this is a far more intimate setting than work. 

“Be careful, you keep saying things like that and I’ll think you have a crush on me,” you tease him, chuckling at the snort he responds with. 

Before Johnny snitches on himself, he flips the script. “Says the one staring at my lips long enough to deem them ‘pretty’ and calling me pretty, of all things.” 

“Well,” you start as your gaze goes right back to his mouth at the mention of it. “It would be unprofessional of me to tell you that I think you’re fine as hell, so,” you shrug.

You and Johnny have always had a bit of banter between the two of you, and while this topic isn’t something that’s been covered before, it’s hard to really care when you feel comfortable enough to cross that line right now. If he hadn’t been playing along, you wouldn’t have said anything more than the simple compliment from earlier, but with the reciprocity, the logical voice within gets pushed away. Exhaustion isn’t much of an excuse at this point because that high from tiredness has passed. 

The timing of the traffic light turning red is a little too perfect. Johnny takes the opportunity to look at you again, and something lights up in his chest when he catches how your eyes travel up from his mouth to look into his own eyes at his attention. 

“It would be unprofessional,” he agrees with another nod of his head. “But I can’t say the feeling isn’t mutual.”

You hum and nod. “Good to know.”

“You must not be sleeping well for you to be throwing out compliments like that.” Johnny leans onto the middle counsel.

“I’m not saying anything I haven’t thought of for a while.” You tell him after a beat, choosing to reply honestly since you’re already here. Johnny quirks a brow to prompt you to elaborate, and you do so, mirroring his position and propping your chin in your hand. His face is a lot closer now, but you keep your eyes on his own orbs to avoid losing focus. “I hired you because of your experience and skill set, but I knew it wouldn’t hurt to have some eye-candy around me. Pretty privilege and all,” you wave a nonchalant hand. “You were perfect until you opened your mouth.”

“You can never be nice to me for long, can you?” he snorts.

“You’re perfect tonight, though,” you add on, specifically for the quirk of Johnny’s mouth that comes from the praise. Yeah, you failed the challenge. 

“How so?” Johnny questions, quickly checking to see if the light has changed yet. It hasn’t, and for once in his life he’s grateful for a long light. He feels good about where this conversation could possibly get him after a year of silently admiring you, so good that he not-so-subtly gets even closer, definitely in your bubble, but nothing too crazy.

“You’re calm and collected and taking care of me,” you admit. The silent deep breath you take to calm yourself grants you access to the scent of Johnny’s cologne again, and your mind is so close to deciding that logic is unnecessary. A tiny voice in the back of your mind has been trying to get your attention and steer you in the opposite direction of the one you’ve decided to take, with how you tilt your head up to get just a little closer to him.

“You like being taken care of?”

“I love it,” you confess, and Johnny takes the chance to tuck a stray hair behind your ear as he hums, content with your response. Definitely an excuse to test the waters and see how far he can go and how willing you are to really cross this line. You turn your face into his hand so he cups your jaw, but then there’s a horn sounding behind you because the light is green, and Johnny begrudgingly has to pay attention to the road. You blink, the trance you found yourself in with him so close but so far away dissipating, the situation becoming a lot more real now that he’s out of your space. You slump back into your seat and look out of the window, that voice becoming louder and grounding you as you take another deep breath. “But allowing myself to be vulnerable with someone like that? Yikes.”

He knows your defense mechanism is trying to kick in, but he’s not having it.

“Aside from me?” 

You hum. “Not quite…” 

You set yourself up. From that moment in the elevator to now, you’ve been digging your own grave, and Johnny has done nothing but assist you, encourage you to dig deeper. You’re not sleepy anymore, there’s no more foggy brain from earlier when he found you asleep in the office. Just desire you’ve done a grand job of ignoring up until the last few days. But unfortunately, you have to remind yourself you’ve been ignoring it for a reason.

Your assistant almost doesn’t say anything because he loves his job and you clearly switched the direction of the conversation for a reason, but so much (yet so little) has already been said during your time in the car and you’ve already said enough to get the gears in his head turning. 

“So you mean a different type of care?”Johnny asks. He pulls into your driveway and parks. He wants to get back to the space the two of you were at when stopped at that light, but you’re already unbuckling your seat belt and grabbing your purse, signifying that the moment is long gone. That doesn’t stop him from trying, though. “Do you need me to walk you in?”

“I think I’ve got it now, thanks.” You need to get inside and get some sleep. Are you running right now? Of course. You’re a responsible person and the most responsible thing for you to do as the woman that signs his paychecks, is to get the fuck away from him before he persuades you, because you both know it’s possible.

“Let me rephrase that:” he licks his pretty lips and your fist balls up around your purse’s straps. “Do you want me to walk you in? I know you didn’t need me to do most of what I’ve done tonight, but you let me because you wanted me to.” His ability to read you so well is both a blessing and a curse. “Now would you like for me to continue taking care of you tonight or not?” 

You do. You absolutely do. You’re tempted to say yes in the case you don’t end up alone tonight, but you know it’s not a good idea. And you’re sure the atmosphere of this car ride will disappear by the time you wake up. At least that’s what you tell yourself because you know, ethics.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you tell Johnny, opening the door and stepping out. “Thanks for the ride. Drive safe.”

Johnny watches you walk up to your door, unlock it, then disappear into your house. He lets out a deep sigh before backing out of your driveway and driving home.

Tea, fruit slices, and avocado toast are set down in front of you the moment you walk behind your desk. 

“Good morning,” Johnny greets you calmly. “Your eleven o’clock meeting has been pushed back thirty minutes, so I’d suggest using the opportunity to get out of the building and get some fresh air. You know, get away from electronics and people to recharge.”

That’s exactly what you’ll do. You’re going to be monitoring the Instagram engagement and website sales for a while, even though you pay people to be on top of numbers, so a break will definitely be needed. 

“I love your brain, you know that?” you ask, looking up at him once your jacket and bag are off of your body, meeting his eye. The corner of Johnny’s mouth twitches. 

“I told you I’d never disappoint you.”

“And I’m holding you to that.” You ignore the fact that there’s definitely another meaning behind his words. You can’t say the tension that last night’s conversation produced has gone away completely, but it’s weak enough for you to ignore it and stick to the amicable atmosphere the two of you have built for the last year plus.

“Would it be alright if I accompanied you during your walk?” Johnny prompts after a moment of him just standing there, pursing his lips together to refrain himself from grinning at you. “There’s something I’d like to run by you because I trust your opinion as my boss and my friend.”

“We’re friends?” you joke, settling into your seat.

“Last time I checked,” he responds, unfazed. “We could be even closer if you let yourself be vulnerable with me.” 

And there it is.

“John,” you say after a brief pause. He’s got his hands in his pockets, face mostly void of emotion. Johnny doesn’t want things to go back to normal, and he’s decided to let you know in the most subtle, yet obvious way. Why ignore the feeling when it’s clearly mutual? 

“Yes, boss?”

“You can leave now.”

The grin on the male’s face falters. He examines you to see just how serious you are, and he knows this isn’t one of your playful banter moments. He tries to call your name, either to ease the situation and tell you it was just a bad joke or to apologize, but you just remove your attention from him and get on your iPad. 

And when he’s out of the room, the door closed behind him, you let out a frustrated sigh. Up until you fell asleep, if you weren’t thinking about your launch, you were thinking about him. If you weren’t thinking about the numbers from your last launch and the possibility of exceeding them, you were thinking of the way you felt and the words he said while you were in that intimate bubble before the horn honked at him. You had to take a couple melatonin gummies to shut your mind up and knock out. The sleep was amazing, the best you’d had in a while, but then when you were conscious again, Johnny was back.

You could have done without stepping into uncharted territory last night. To him, it may not seem as deep as you’re making it out to be, but there’s too much on the line for you. Your professionalism. Your pride. Your job, quite possibly. His job. You could pay him off if you decided to fire him, but you don’t want to deal with bribes making you feel like a shitty person. You don’t want a new assistant. You want Johnny.

At that very last thought, you pick up the phone and call Jaehyun to have him run the plan by you one more time. He thinks it’s because of his fuck up from before, and you just let him think that. 

Thankfully, Johnny is out of your way until later in the night. He didn’t try to accompany you on your walk, but he has no choice but to be here at the company outing taking place to celebrate your products selling out within 4 hours. 

All shots are on you, so your employees are taking advantage of this, recording  as everyone clinks their shot glasses together and downs the painful alcohol down. You’re two shots in and you mentally note that three is your limit for tonight. Maybe four. You’re already a bit of a lightweight, and there’s no way in hell you’re going to make a fool of yourself in front of your employees. Regardless, you’re having a pretty good time. As a gift, your best friend rented out the bar, so it’s empty save for your large group, and Joohyun’s presence is a godsend. She’s being friendly enough to your employees and for the most part she hasn’t left your side, being the comfort she doesn’t realize you need. 

“Congrats again, babe,” she says excitedly to you, pushing another shot in front of you as she scoots into the seat next to you. “Can we take that vacation in Bora Bora now that you’re free and even richer?” Her teasing smile makes you crack one of your own and sigh.

“You know that trip is for August. Be patient, Bae.”

She rolls her eyes but her expression doesn’t falter. Her gaze wanders a bit as she sips from her mixed drink and then she’s looking at you expectantly. You raise a brow to prompt her.

“How is it that all of your employees are hot as fuck?” she asks bluntly. “Even the women.”

You take a glance around like you don’t remember what everyone looks like. “I mean, I guess.”

“Especially a certain assistant.”

“Go for it,” you tell her, nodding in his direction. The said male is at the bar ordering something with his arm draped over Jaehyun’s shoulders, the two of them laughing about whatever the latter just said. 

“You know that’s not why I said that,” Joohyun scoffs, swatting at your arm. You may have mentioned to her a while ago that your assistant is very nice on the eyes and you sometimes enjoy watching him as he does his job. “Plus, Jaehyun’s more my type.”

You shrug. “I’m sure they’d be down for a threesome.”

Your best friend hits you once again. “What’s with your mood? You’re not acting like someone who just sold out in only a few hours.” 

Before she decided to bring a certain assistant up, you were doing pretty well. You’d been able to not look at him for too long or even have to speak to him much aside from a greeting and his congratulations before he was by Jaehyun’s side and Joohyun was by yours. But now, with him being mentioned, your eyes are having a hard time pulling away from his figure. His tie is loosened and the top few buttons of his shirt are undone. His sleeves are rolled up right under his elbows and show off the tattoo on his arm. 

You rip your eyes off of him and down your shot. Yeah, you’re thinking four.

Joohyun’s incredulous laugh brings your attention back to her. “You didn’t.”

“What?”

She leans into your side to whisper, “You’re in a mood because of Johnny?”

You side-eye her because you don’t like how quickly she read you, and her smile grows wide. 

“Oh, my—you slept with Johnny?!” she continues to whisper-yell.

“No,” you hiss. “I did not. But I could have and that’s the issue.”

“Not seeing the issue?” She’s always been the little devil on your left shoulder. “The only reason I brought him up is because I’ve noticed how often you have his attention when you’re not even in the same area. And I know the difference between a look of concern and a look of want. He’s got a good ratio of both going on.”

“Okay, Miss Couple’s Therapist,” you mutter. “You ever heard of conflict of interest?”

And that shuts her up. Only for a few seconds, though.

“All I’m saying is I know you’ve thought about it… and you’re probably thinking about it now,” she giggles, making it hard for you to keep glaring at her. “I’m just trying to help you understand that it wouldn’t be a bad thing if there is a mutual understanding between the two of you on what flies and what cannot and shall not happen regarding the matter. You’re both consenting adults and it’s obvious he’d be on his knees for you with the snap of a finger.”

You decide against telling her about last night’s situation nor do you let her know you’re considering her words. That you’ve been considering the whole thing for days. 

You change the subject instead, asking her about how her latest trip overseas went.

It lasts for only so long when Johnny and Jaehyun make their way over to your table. 

They greet the two of you and you give a nod, choosing now to be the perfect time to check your notifications, while Joohyun says, “Hey guys.”

“Why are you checking your phone when you should be enjoying your time?” Johnny asks right by your ear, his voice lacking excitement but instead low enough to almost make your thumb falter as you scroll. “Get off your phone and celebrate, please?”

You make the mistake of looking up. He’s too close to your face to use the music playing through the speakers in the bar as an excuse. His eyes don’t have their usual playful glint in them. They look down at you with a purpose, and you’re kind of embarrassed at how fast you comply with his request. You drop the device into your purse and zip it up for extra measures.

“Thank you,” he smiles. “I got this for you two, by the way.”

Johnny slides a plate of your favorite wings on the table.

“Aw thank you, Johnny,” Joohyun coos, shooting you an annoyingly smug glance. “Are you gonna sit with us?”

“Is that okay with you, boss?” Jaehyun asks after sharing a look with his friend.

“Have at it,” you smile tightly, gesturing to the seats across from you. While they make themselves comfortable, you steal your best friend’s shot and actively ignore the way she looks at you from the corner of her eye.

Joohyun and Jaehyun fall into conversation easily after she compliments the watch he’s wearing. You nibble on some celery, actively ignoring how Johnny’s still too close. He subtly squeezes your knee to get your attention, and when he’s got it, he tilts his head in the direction of the bar. 

“I drank enough,” you tell him with a shake of your head.

“It’s not about a drink. I would like to speak to you alone, please,” Johnny explains in a whisper. A tiny voice in your mind says hell no because of what Joohyun has put in your head, but the rational voice reminds you that he is your assistant and you can’t avoid him forever. 

You tell your best friend that you’re gonna get a drink and that you’ll be back, and when she notices Johnny getting up with you she nods with a whisper of a smirk on her lips all without breaking the conversation she’s having. 

“What’s up?” you ask once seated on a barstool, at least a few seats away from everyone else.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I was trying to make light of the situation and I took it too far. As for last night, it was wrong of me to make a proposition like, so I want to apologize for that, as well.”

You nod as he speaks, letting his words process in your brain. 

“I spoke out of line last night and gave you an opening, so that part was on me. I apologize and I hope we can move forward from it. Thank you for your apology.” You try to get up and make your way back to your table quickly, but Johnny gently grabs your hand until he knows you’ll stay in your seat. 

For a moment he wanted to just apologize so you can stop being distant with him and he can stop purposely avoiding you for your space, but your response rubs him the wrong way and now he doesn’t really want to drop it. He wants to talk about it because the topic clearly came up for a reason last night and he’s tired of denying how he feels towards you, especially now that he knows he’s not alone after a while of thinking there was no way in hell his little crush would even get him this far. 

“Can you not shut me out right now?”

You really don’t like his ability to see through you.

“I accepted your apology and gave you the one you deserved... how am I shutting you out?” you bullshit him anyway.

“I’m not gonna pretend that what happened last night didn’t happen. I can’t,” Johnny tells you honestly. “Can I speak to you as a friend instead of your employee for a moment?”

“I guess,” you shrug.

“As your friend, what I say cannot be held against me as your assistant.”

“Whatever, John. Go ahead.” 

“I want you,” he confesses, and there’s really no going back from here. “I am very attracted to you and when you spoke about wanting to be vulnerable and taken care of last night it only made me want you more. And if there’s anyone you can let your guard down with and that will take great care of you, it’s me, and you know this.”

All you can do is stare at him for a while. If you hadn’t had that conversation with Joohyun a while ago you would not still be in this seat, letting him know you’re truly considering his proposition. The dip in your gut at his confession confirms your feelings, but your brain and your body conflict. 

Can you separate business from pleasure in this instance? 

If you allow your desires to become reality and it’s nothing like what you imagined, you’d never be able to look at him the same, no matter how good he is at his job. You’d either have to fire him or become so distant he’d want to quit. Would a bribe really have to be offered for the well-being of your precious company? The thought alone rubs you the wrong way.

But if you’re being honest with yourself, you just know it wouldn’t be a bad experience because it’s Johnny. He’s calculated and good at anything that gets thrown at him. You truly believe him when he says he’d never disappoint you. But how will you go about seeing him five days a week without seeing him in a different light? You’re professional but there would definitely be a change in your dynamic.

“I adore you as my assistant, John,” you finally speak up after too long. “And I do consider you a friend. I just don’t want to compromise our relationship over lust.”

“It’s not just lust, though,” Johnny states. “I’m not in love with you or anything but I care about you and want to take care of you the way we both know you need and deserve.”

He’s saying all of the right things and it’s almost as if the universe is rubbing him in your face. Your control is slipping and you don’t like it. You would love to be taken care of. You crave it. Running a business right before the age of thirty comes with so much stress and bullshit and you haven’t been taken care of in years, at least not properly. You’re content with being single because you give yourself everything you need and you love having your own space, but it does get lonely sometimes. And you can’t do everything yourself, at least not to the extent you need. Your eyes scan down from his face to his hands and your resolve gets a little weaker. 

“I’m not going to push you, okay? I just had to let you know that I’m here to help you in many more ways than in the office and that if anything were to ever happen, my lips are sealed. I’d even sign a damn contract if that meant I could have you for just one whole day.”

“A whole day?” you ask before you can stop your curiosity from being known. 

“I can’t elaborate on that. I can talk to you as a friend all I want but I know that too much detail can fuck up my job if you’re not down and I’m perfectly content with my job right now.”

He’s so vague, yet he’s said just the right amount. It’s easy to imagine what exactly could be in store if you release your inhibitions and just agree, but it’s not that easy. And Johnny understands that.

“Just think about it, alright?” He requests, and you nod slowly. “What drink would you like?”

“I’ve already had four shots—”

“No one said it had to be alcoholic,” Johnny laughs. 

“Hello?” Johnny’s morning voice grumbles. 

“Okay.”

It’s quiet on the other end of the line for a while as Johnny wakes up and decodes your single word. When he understands, his smile can be heard through his next words.

“Would you prefer I go to you or you come here?”

“I’ll go to you.”

“How does noon sound?”

“Good,” you nod, even though he can’t see the movement.

“Alright. There’s a couple of questions I have before you come over, though,” he tells you, his voice suddenly a lot more serious than it was before.

“Okay, go ahead,” you sigh, curling into a ball on your sofa. 

“Do you trust me?”

“I do.” Of course you trust him. Johnny smiles at how quick your answer. “You know that.”

“Trusting me with your work and trusting me with your mind and body are completely different things,” he tells you matter-of-factly. “But yes, I did know. I just needed to ask.”

“I clearly trust you enough to be hours away from going to your place without thinking you’re gonna exploit or blackmail me.”

“And I appreciate it. As I said, I’ll sign a contract if you’re still in your head about it.” At the dismissive response you give him, he continues with his questions. “We’re not gonna be weird about this before, during, and especially after everything, right?”

“No, I won’t be weird,” you chuckle, knowing his ‘we’ translates to ‘you.’ “It would’ve took me way longer to give you an answer if I was still gonna be weird or standoffish.”

“What made you change your mind so quickly?”

You blink at the tree on the other side of your window blankly. It took less than a day to give him a response, and while he may have popped up in your dream last night, Joohyun was right. You want him and he’s not shy about letting you know how much he wants you in return, so why play this game of tiptoeing and faux unclarity?

“You’re asking too many questions now,” you deadpan. “I’ll see you later.”

The last thing you hear before you hang up is Johnny laughing quietly to himself, sounding endeared.

You’ve always been punctual, so when you knock on his door, it’s twelve on the dot. And Johnny was expecting this, with it only taking him a couple of seconds to unlock and open the door for you. 

“Hey,” he greets you with a smile and you immediately take in his appearance, having never been around Johnny in anything but formal wear. You take in how he looks in the comfort of his own home, his brown hair is parted down the middle in comparison to how he always has it pushed back, and his fitted white tee shirt and joggers are a stark difference from the button-downs and slacks he usually adorns around you. He looks good either way, you note. 

“Hey.” 

You walk past him into his home and take your shoes off, and while pleasantries are exchanged, it’s Johnny’s turn to give you elevator eyes. The grey color of your athletic wear draws attention to the curve of your ass and hips. Your hair isn’t in its signature style, but out and flowing about freely. When you turn back around to face him he notices you don’t have your typical red lipstick on, just a clear sheen covering your lips. He didn’t think you could look any better, but here he is, being proven wrong. 

You’re guided down a hallway and into his room, and the first thing you notice is a cute stuffed animal on his dresser. One you remember buying him for his birthday because that was his only request, seeing that it was limited edition.

“I still can’t believe you wanted this of all things,” you laugh fondly, picking it up and examining it.

“You gave me a budget and this fit in it,” Johnny shrugs, coming up behind you. His chest molds into your back naturally, causing you to look up from the plushie and up at him through the mirror in front of you. “There was no way in hell I was coming out of pocket for that myself when you were willing to spend big bucks on me.”

You relax into his chest, the vibration against your back a very pleasant feeling. “Touché.”

The last few days of building sexual frustration did nothing to prepare you for the suffocating blanket of tension that envelopes you once Johnny lifts your head up to the side and presses one of the gentlest kisses to your lips. Followed by another chaste one, and another until you find yourself chasing his lips.

“Feel free to bite into it when it becomes too much for you,” Johnny graciously offers in a whisper that tickles your lips.

You scoff, amused by his confidence. 

“I’m a grown ass woman,” you remind him. “I promise you there’s nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“And I’m gonna hold you to that.” He nods, using your own words against you. You’re turned around by his hands on your hips until you’re facing him. A moment of silent eye contact translate to him challenging you before his pretty, soft lips slowly slide in time with yours. 

The longer he kisses you, the more your body melts into his. You find yourself being pulled forward, him walking backwards. The kiss interrupted when he sits down at the foot of his bed, but then you’re pulled onto his lap, straddling him to resume it. A hand on the side of his face prompts him to deepen the kiss, and your mouth instantly opens when you feel his tongue brush against your bottom lip, the wet muscle minty when it touches your own and you curl yours around it to get an even better taste. 

Your hands find his hair as his own grip your ass, pulling a muffled whimper out of you. And then you’re flipped onto your back, legs falling apart to give Johnny freedom to stand. He swiftly takes his shirt off and then he’s interrupted by your palms glide up his abdomen. You’ve never felt small around practically anyone in your adult years, but with how he hovers over you, you feel tiny. You know he and Jaehyun have been going to the gym frequently, but at this angle, you can really appreciate just how big and broad he is.

Originally, you figured you’d give him the reign to do whatever he wanted and you’d bask in being a pillow princess for once in your life, but in the position you’ve found yourself in, with his print in your face, you drag your hands back south and tug his waistband down. 

Johnny just watches you silently until he understands you’re doing more than just assisting him with stripping. Your hand grabs hold of his semi (your mouth waters at how hung he is and you briefly wonder how you never noticed before), his sweatpants forgotten halfway down his thighs. The way your eyes have tunnel vision and you lick your lips tells him your plan. “You wanna suck my dick?” he asks anyway, making sure he accessed this correctly. 

Your eyes fly up to meet his gaze. “Yeah. You want me to?”

“You think I’d ever say no to you?”

His response goes straight in between your legs, so you focus your attention back on his dick, which has grown some during the time of your small interaction, and you might be a little more excited about this than you initially thought you’d be. 

You let spit fall from your mouth onto his tip, then spread it down with your hand. You flick your wrist up and down a few times and lean forward, licking a broad stripe up his shaft. At the deep exhale he releases, you glance up at him through your lashes, and the sight of him with his jaw tightened in anticipation makes you want to give him so much more, so you suck the tip into your mouth. 

Fingers move your hair behind your ear for you and if you still had any inhibitions at this point, they’re lost now. Your head bobs back and forth slowly as you continue to look him in his eyes; it’s hard to look anywhere else when you’ve never been looked at so intensely in this position. You gather spit on the tip of your tongue and spread it across his head, circling the wet muscle around it until he hums and you need to feel the weight of him back inside. 

“Tap my leg, okay?”

You furrow your brows at his words, but your silent question is answered when there’s a hand on the back of your head and the tip of his dick hits the back of your throat lightly as if in warning before his hips pull back then he’s back in your throat. Your hands come up to his thighs as he sets a slow pace to fuck your face, and when his head falls back the moment he realizes he can go as far as he wants, you close your eyes and prepare for the onslaught you know you’re about to take.

Johnny’s hips instantly pick up speed and roughness, and while he’s still in control of himself, he loses a bit of sanity. After a year of silent pining and thinking this would never happen, he’s fucking his boss's face, and of course, of fucking course you don’t have a gag reflex. 

You stick your tongue out flat to lick at the bottom of his shaft as he does the rest of the work and the feeling of spit bubbling out the sides of your mouth and making its way down your chin digs your fingers into his skin since you can’t clench your thighs together. Your hair is gathered for extra leverage, and the pull of your scalp is such a delicious feeling you moan helplessly just when your nose comes in contact with trimmed hairs. 

“Shit,” he hisses, picking his head back up to watch as he slows back down but thrusts in rougher. You clearly enjoy being used like this, spit traveling down your chin to the point of landing on your jacket and darkening the material. You’re a mess in the best possible way, and this is an image that will haunt his memory for a very long time. 

More of his resolve crumbles at the feeling of your hands curling around to his butt to press him even closer into you, even further down your throat. You haven’t even been touched, barely kissed, but you’re lightheaded and extremely aroused. While he contemplates if he should cum down your throat or wait until he’s buried in your pussy, you’re silently hoping he lets you taste him soon. 

Johnny drags his dick out of your mouth at an extremely slow pace, and how you wrap your lips around him and open your hooded, darkened eyes to look at him again shoots a shiver of pleasure up his spine. 

“Never would’ve thought,” he says around an amused exhale.

“Hm?” you prompt, releasing him with a loud pop. 

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. He grips his dick with his free hand and taps the tip on your awaiting tongue, amused and extremely turned on. Smearing fluids over your tongue and lips, he softly demands: “Play with your pussy for me.”

The smile you give him is a concoction of wicked and endearing. He releases your hair as you manage to wiggle out of your leggings. You soaked through your lace and leggings, you both notice, and Johnny stops you with a disapproving hum when you make a move to remove your panties as well. You squint, he laughs and shakes his head. 

“Over your panties.” You roll your eyes but listen nonetheless, slipping your hand in between your thighs. The material is extremely wet to the touch, and the slickness helps with making the friction pleasurable when your fingertips find your clit and begin rubbing circles. “Slowly.”

Johnny finds your huff of frustration adorable.

The tip of his dick taps your mouth again to gain your attention. You suck spit up to the front of your mouth, then your mouth is stretched wide once again, hand back in your hair. 

Having your throat fucked with the additional pleasure on your clit, even with the slow pace you’re forced to go at, has you practically whining, the sound going in and out as he goes in and out your mouth. That vibration only spurs Johnny to grip your locks tighter and thrust in deeper to feel as much as your mouth and throat offer. 

“You were made for this, huh?” 

“Mhm,” you affirm, eyes rolling back at the way he pulls your hair to tip your head back and get a different, much better angle. 

Johnny honestly didn’t expect you to submit so easily to him. The visual of your face all messy, eyes hardly opened to look into his eyes and hair out of place while touching yourself sparks that feeling in his lower abdomen.

 “You want me to cum in your mouth?” You hum again and even with a mouth full of dick you manage to smile. You’re getting what you wanted. “Don’t swallow it until I tell you to.”

It takes a few more strokes for Johnny to fulfill your wish. The moment his head falls back again you use your free hand to caress his balls, and that does it. He leaves the tip in so that his cum pools onto your tongue and strokes every drop out. The groan he lets out causes you to unintentionally swipe at your clit faster, but he’s distracted anyway.

“Let me see,” Johnny says after collecting himself and stepping back. You straighten your head so none slides down your throat and open your mouth wider for his inspection. He smiles in approval, wishing he could take a picture of the sight before him. “Swallow.”

You lick your lips and wipe away all the spit that traveled outside of your mouth with the sleeve of your jacket after doing so.

Johnny completely removes his pants before he leans down to kiss you again. His tongue languidly licks against the seam of your mouth for an entrance that you grant instantly. While it curls around your own and he gets a taste of himself, Johnny’s hand guides you to bend one leg and he caresses your outer thigh.

“Good?” Johnny asks for extra measure, lips just barely dragging across your cheek to press opened mouth kisses on your jaw. Your head automatically tilts to the opposite side to give him more real estate. You hum, your mouth a bit preoccupied with how your teeth have trapped your bottom lip. 

Your breath stutters at the gentle scrape of his teeth along the length of your neck after he unzips the high neck of your top to expose more skin. Whichever scent you chose to put on today has Johnny latched onto your neck for a while, kissing, licking, nibbling the skin to the point of your breath coming out a lot louder than before and the seat on your underwear getting uncomfortably wetter. You’re throbbing at this point and not being touched enough, so you claw at his sides and call his name quietly.

Johnny eventually spreads your legs more and maneuvers himself in between them. Both of your legs bend at the knee to accommodate his large build in the middle of them, and the hand that isn’t keeping himself propped up by your head kneads your hip. 

“You know how long I’ve been wanting to get you like this?”

“How long?” you prompt, voice hardly above a whisper.

“Since the day you gave me a tour of the building,” he admits and slowly rises until he’s up on his knees. 

“That’s a long time,” you respond lamely, hardly caring when your pussy is practically screaming at you to be touched. He raises a brow, and when he looks back up at your face, your lip is back in between your teeth. 

If he doesn’t touch you soon you might explode.

“I’ve wanted this for a while, too,” you decide to confess, hoping it gets you somewhere. And it does. It’s almost like you’re rewarded for it by Johnny walking back on his knees until he’s far enough to settle on his stomach, face barely inches away from the apex of your thighs. He subconsciously licks his lips at the smell of you. He’s been wanting to taste you for so long now, but he refrains himself because he sees how you’re affected by the lack of attention to your heat. He promised he’d take care of you and that’s exactly what he’s going to do. But not before breaking you. 

“Wish you would’ve told me sooner,” he eventually tells you after having you hold your breath for way too long.

“You know I couldn’t.” The way Johnny looks at you, attentive to every word that comes out of your mouth while he smoothly scoops your legs over his shoulders to wrap his arms around your thighs, makes you continue speaking. “Seems like everything fell into place, though.”

Johnny nods, rests his head on one of your thighs, and looks up at you, brown eyes still watching your mouth intently, as he unhooks one of his arms to push your right leg further to the side. His fingers are soon on your center, gliding up and down your slit, bumping into your clit with each pass. 

“I guess it did.”

Before you can reply, he adds more pressure behind his touch, and your hips just barely lift to get even more. The smile you get in return is attractive as all hell but annoying. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you or he’s just really enjoying himself. Either way, you’re getting more impatient by the second, if the way your hips rise to grind your core against his fingers again says anything. 

“Stay still for me, okay?” You almost pout because you need more, but you promised to give him total control of the situation and you’ve done well thus far, so you press your ass back into his comforter. “There you go.”

Your pussy clenches around nothing.

The light pressure on your clit is soon gone and then the zipper of your jacket gets dragged down all the way. “Take this off for me.”

Sitting up, you do as told. You toss it where your leggings had been dropped and now you’re presented in front of the awe-struck brunet in just your matching set of underwear. You figured you’d wear something nice under your clothes, both for Johnny’s pleasure and for your confidence, and with how Johnny’s eyes settle on the way your breasts are trying to burst out of your snug lacy bra, you know you chose well.

A hand slides up your torso to grab one of your breasts and squeeze it. Somewhere in the midst of him fondling your chest and pressing teasing, yet promising kisses on your inner thighs your eyes drift shut again as you bask in the pleasure. One of your own hands comes up from your side to slide under the cup of your unoccupied tit and pull at your nipple. 

The tip of Johnny’s tongue drags dangerously close to your annoying-still-clothed heat and your patience is shot. 

“John…”

“Yes?” 

“I need more.”

He has the audacity to hum and give your clit a kitten lick. “Do you?”

You huff, stuck between just pushing his face into your pussy or doing what he asks of you, but you promised, so you suck in a breath and give him what he wants.

“John,” you say again, almost whining. 

He doesn’t say anything, just continues to look at you expectantly. And when too much time goes by, it somehow hits you what he wants from you and you groan quietly to yourself.

“Please.”

“That was very convincing,” Johnny snorts. His nose glides across the inside of your thigh like he’s got all the time in the world. It tickles in the best way, but it’s nothing but teasing and you’ve been stimulated enough that if you go more than a couple of seconds more without his mouth giving you direct pleasure, you’ll go insane. So with a great amount of willpower, you try again.

“Johnny,” you whine, giving him your best pout. Addressing him so informally feels foreign, but the way his eyes light up encourages you to keep going.“Please?”

And of course a big smile takes up half of his face and you mentally prepare yourself for what’s next to come. He peels your panties off, both of you watching the line of slick that stretches then breaks in the process, and when you spread your legs even more for him, his mouth salivates. 

Johnny makes sure you’re looking into his eyes as his tongue licks a wide stripe from your entrance to your clit. He wants to be smug at the gasp you let out, but the taste of you shuts his ego up quickly. 

You squeak when you’re suddenly flipped onto your stomach and your ass is lifted up into the air. With yet another broad lick to coat his taste buds with your essence, Johnny buries his face in your pussy. He uses the tip of his tongue to collect the puddle of wetness you’ve produced and smears it over your clit, soon digging  inside to directly stimulate the bundle of nerves. 

Johnny’s lips close around your clit and he sucks on it softly. As the moments pass he gradually sucks harder to the point of you not being able to fight the way your eyes flutter shut and hips push back. He’s nice about the movement, just grabbing your hips to keep you still, soon caressing and kneading. 

“Mm, that feels good,” you compliment. At that very moment, Johnny decides to roll his tongue in up and down motions and apply more pressure behind his hands. “Fuck, that feels so good.”

He prompts you with a hum of his own. 

With how your moans start to get louder and your breath gets quicker and harder, not to mention the tingles you feel building in intensity, you know you’re already close. It’s a beautiful yet frustrating feeling because you don’t want this to end so soon after waiting so long. But you also want him inside of you so bad now.

Johnny comes back up to circle your entrance, and then he goes even higher.

“Are you— fuck,” you groan deeply. 

Your hands grip the pillow your face is buried in and your eyes have found the back of your head again. Johnny just hums at the way you react, the octave of your voice as you let out your sounds of pleasure go straight to his dick. His tongue licks filthily up and down, not leaving an inch untouched nor missing a drop of your juice. His fingers rub your entrance until he slides one in. One becomes two after a few pumps, then his thumb presses into your clit and your back is arched almost uncomfortably.

“Johnny,” you whine again, breath hiccuped. 

“Yes?” he prompts, lifting his head and looking up to see your face peaking around your body, smushed into his pillow still. 

“I wanna cum,” you tell him. It feels too good now. “Fuck, I need to come, Johnny.”

“Then cum for me.” His voice is so gentle yet commanding as his digits speed up. He tongues the skin between your holes sloppily and you try to curl into yourself, your mouth wide opened with no sound coming out of it, your walls clenching madly around the fingers inside of you, and your grip on the cushion is borderline painful.

Johnny helps you ride out your orgasm for as long as possible until your body begins shuddering due to oversensitivity. He gradually slows down to a stop, then removes himself from your body to let you breathe correctly. While he sucks on his fingers, he uses his clean hands to soothingly rub your back, waiting for you to calm back down. 

You’re a bit dazed during the transition of more kissing that leads you on top of him, straddling him once again. You vaguely remember the caresses on your waist or the pinch of his fingers playing with your nipples, but the feeling of your bare pussy dragging against his dick is very memorable because it sparks a desperate need within you to sit on it. 

Johnny’s hands on your hips move you to continue the friction, moving you back and forth on his dick easily. Foreheads connected as you catch your breath from the kiss you just broke away from, the two of you watch silently as his head reappears and disappears behind your lips, turning you both on until he’s fully hard again and you can’t handle him not being inside of you anymore.

You lift up on your knees to align his tip with your entrance. A silent look is exchanged where you ask and he nods once. He lets you take your time, enjoying the feeling of his tip directly rubbing against your sopping entrance.

Your labored breaths at the sensation bring his attention to your chest, and his mouth wraps around a nipple without a thought. By now, you deem his dick wet enough to press his head in your hole and press your hips down. The moment he slides in your head falls back because the stretch burns in the best way. It feels like time doesn’t exist as you work your way down his length, inch by inch. Your hips naturally find a slow rhythm as you lift and drop them to take in more until he slides in and out easily. 

When your features no longer show discomfort, Johnny begins moving with you. Every time he lifts his hips up a little to meet your thrusts his body slumps down the headboard. His hands are loose on your waist as you move your body up and down and he’s got the perfect view of his dick going in and out of your core while you’re controlling the pace and intensity. The muscles in your thighs start to burn, so you slow down to a stop and carefully slide your way down until your clit comes in contact with his pubic bone, resulting in your eyes rolling back, hips grinding on their own accord. 

“How the fuck do you feel this good?” Johnny groans deeply, hands gripping your ass to assist your movements.

His compliment, his hungry, intense gaze as they take you in from your eyes—which mirror his own—down to the trail of slick you’ve left behind on his tamed curls from the swivel of your hips, and the way his cock rubs against your g-spot send you over the edge within moments. Johnny soothingly rubs a cheek with one hand while the other caresses your arched spine, keeping his hips still to let you ride your orgasm out on your own. 

You slump into him, head on his shoulder, panting against his neck. A sigh of content slips out when Johnny hugs you tightly against his broad chest right before asking, “You alright?”

“Great,” you reply breathlessly. 

Johnny smiles at the positive response. He lifts his hips experimentally and gauges your reaction, which is a satisfied hum. 

“You want more?” he asks, hands moving to your hips to carefully grind against him. How could you say no? “Hands and knees, baby.”

You begin climbing off to the side of him then he follows your lead and lifts himself up so you can settle on your knees and bend until your face slides onto his pillow. Your hands grab the sides of it in anticipation. 

A deep groan sounds from behind you, so you crane your neck and see the way he stares down at how he can see everything you have to offer him at this moment. One hand goes to his dick while the other massages one of your cheeks. He runs the swollen tip of his dick along your slit, collecting what’s oozed out. You close your eyes and relax the side of your face into the cushion beneath it and take a breath, preparing yourself for the stretch and intensity this angle never fails to bring.

He slowly starts to breach your entrance. There’s a pause, then you hear him spit down before more of him slips inside of you inch by inch with each roll of his hips. He keeps his movements shallow for a while and your walls reaccept him easily. A particular thrust sends him deep inside of you, his tip just barely kissing your cervix. Your body’s first instinct is to run away from it. His hands on your hips stop you from fleeing, holding you still and rubbing the skin there to ease you. 

“I won’t go too deep,” he tells you, hips still as he kisses up your spine and makes you dizzy by the tenderness of it all. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

You nod at his promises and take another steadying breath, then the pleasurable friction is back. You’d believe anything he told you with that intoxicating voice of his. 

A loud, embarrassing squelch comes out of your core when he’s sheathed inside that makes you bury your face into the pillow. There’s one last kiss at the top of your spine before the body heat from his chest is gone and he’s back upright. He finds his rhythm easily, and hands return to your backside, fingers digging into the flesh, no doubt leaving behind white imprints. He uses his grip as leverage to fuck down into you at a different angle that allows him to speed up and rip an unrestrained moan from your throat. 

“You okay?”

You nod violently and sob, “Yes! Oh, my god, yes.”

Content, Johnny hums and you just know he’s grinning down at you by the sound of his voice when he asks: “Feels good?”

“So good,” you whine, unable to close your mouth or stop noises from coming out of it. You begin dropping your hips down to meet his thrusts, the loud smacks of skin against skin echoing and bouncing off of the walls of his room. “Fuck it feels so good, Johnny.”

“I know, baby” he groans. “And this pussy feels so fucking good—shit.”

The two of you get lost in the rhythm you’ve created and no more words are exchanged for a while, just the sound of groans that comes deep from Johnny’s throat and whines and pants that make you drool all while drying your throat out. The room has gotten increasingly hotter and your bodies now shine with a thin, sticky sheen that makes the back of your thighs stick to the front of his own every time he fucks back into you. Your sensitive nipples rub harshly against the sheets, stimulating you even further to the point of another sob ripping out of your throat and your walls fluttering around his girth. 

“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper. Your divulgence prompts him to reach his arm under you to graze his fingertips over your engorged clit and then you’re repeating your words over and over again until your actions meet your words and you’re cumming all over him. Your essence drips down the insides of your thighs and his balls and his thrusts create wetter, louder noises. A swivel of your hips causes his dick to pop out and suddenly your body is vibrating. 

“There you go, baby,” Johnny praises you, sliding back into you and precisely hitting that spot within you a few more times until your pussy clenches again and he pulls out again, letting more wetness spray the sheets under you. 

“Look at you,” he continues with a deep chuckle. “Making such a big mess.”

You don’t know if he really meant for you to look but your curiosity gets the best of you and you lift your head and look in between your legs. There’s a dark puddle on his sheets and another whine leaves your body, your head falling back into the pillow. 

“Can you handle more?” Johnny asks you softly, slapping the top of your asscheek with his dick. 

You need more. You don’t know what the hell Johnny has done to you and your body but you feel empty and not satisfied enough. Your core is raw at this point but you want nothing more than to feel the velvety skin of his thick, long dick sliding in and out of you and hitting every spot in you that makes your body convulse again. 

“Please,” you beg, wagging your hips to emphasize your needs. “Please, Johnny.”

“I’ve got you begging now?” He sounds so turned on yet taken aback, another dark laugh vibrating your body at the nod of your head and movement of your body. If you were in your right mind, you would be ashamed of your behavior and submission to your assistant, but you’re not. And who cares when you’ve never felt this way before and crave to feel even more?

“I need it,” you confess without shame. “Need you back inside of me.”

Johnny doesn’t need any more convincing to be back, deep within you and instantly satisfying you again. Your breath stutters and it’s not easy to speak in coherent sentences, but that doesn’t stop you from trying to voice your pleasure and appreciation to the brunet whose self-control only continues to dissolve the faster he slams into you and the higher your voice gets.

Both of your breath patterns get quicker, loud, more erratic, signaling the approach of his first release and your third? Fourth? You can’t keep up with it when your brain has turned into mush and you can barely remember your own name, only his own registering in your brain. His name rolls off of your tongue like a mantra, driving him insane behind you. 

“Where do you want me to cum?” he pants. It takes you too long to swallow in an attempt to lubricate your throat and answer him, Johnny humming in question impatiently. 

“My back,” you manage to squeak out. You’re impressed with the amount of control he has, the slamming of his hips into your ass somehow speeding up and getting rougher. Johnny lacks the control and precision from before, and the way his tip kisses your cervix rips a yell out of you, eyes watering as you hold on for dear life. He releases a drawn out groan from deep within, and not too long later you feel ropes of cum land on your lower back and ass.

Your body is shaking. Tears leak out of your eyes, your breath is hard to catch, and quiet cries come out. You’re gently flipped over and pulled into strong arms, quickly finding comfort in the chest you settle into. 

“You’re okay, baby,” Johnny’s soft voice says to you, but you can’t open your eyes or your mouth to acknowledge him. You’re confused about why you’re reacting to this, but you don’t dislike it. Especially when you have Johnny to soothe you and help you calm down. “Are you hurting anywhere?” 

You shake your head and finally try to respond, but it takes a couple of coughs and harsh swallows of spit to do so. “No. I feel good. Everywhere.”

Your speech is choppy, unlike your usual way of speaking, but stringing words into sentences that flow well is too much work right now. Johnny doesn’t mind; he loves that he had that effect on you after you’ve had him under your spell for so long. He loves the fact he successfully kept his promise to you and now you’re boneless in his arms. 

He reaches for the glass of water on his nightstand and hands it to you. “Are you ready for a bath?”

“Can I fall asleep in the bath?” you ask, wiping your face tiredly.

“Sure,” Johnny says softly before setting you down on the dry part of the bed. “I’ll come get you once it’s ready.”

That’s how the rest of the day plays out, you getting taken care of in multiple ways. Your favorite method is with his tongue and fingers as he made out with your pussy for what felt like hours in lieu of an apology for going so hard. And maybe Johnny purposely falls asleep next to you after you’re bathed, fed, and exhausted from coming, curled up into his side in the new sheets because he wants you to stay a little longer. There’s no way in hell he’ll ever get to see this side of you again after today.

“Good morning,” Johnny greets you. It’s eight in the morning the following Monday, and he’s got your avocado toast and fruit in his hands as he walks up to your desk.

You're rummaging through your bag looking for the bobby pins you threw inside of it this morning in your rush to get to work on time because believe it or not, you overslept. You give up in favor of looking up to greet him back, but your voice decides not to come out when your eyes lock with his. There hadn’t been any contact since you woke up in the middle of the night and he walked you to his door with a lingering kiss that quite literally took your breath away to close out the short chapter of your relationship you’d just created. You were still tired, but you definitely were not supposed to sleep over, so it was nothing. 

But now, seeing the same eyes that stared into your own while you came and cried his name multiple times, all you can do is blink. And then he licks his pretty lips. You knew this would happen. You’re not mad at it, though. How could you be when you’d never experienced someone like him before? In hindsight, there was no possible way to go back to normal after the intimacy, tenderness, and raw attraction you shared that day. No possible way to never want another taste. 

“You okay?” he asks unsurely, setting your plates down. 

And here it comes.

“Johnny,” you say lowly, setting your bag down. The quirk in his brow and the corner of his mouth lets you know he’s onto you. And that just makes things easier for you. “Lock the door.”

yikesssssss

[pindaleng]

Merry Pitchmas @anotherbechloeshipper !!

Had so much fun writing this one, hope you enjoy it :)

Title: In From the Snow

Pairing: Bechloe

Chapters: 1/1

Wordcount: 2943

Summary: Beca didn’t anticipate making many friends her freshman year, much less become best friends with one Chloe Beale. When a snow storm ruins both their plans to travel home, they get to spend some quality time together. Beca thinks this might be her best chance to tell the other girl how she feels.

Read on AO3 or below.

Beca stared gloomily at the large flakes falling outside her dorm window.

There was no way her old Camry would be able drive more than ten miles an hour in these conditions. The forecast said “heavy snow”, but she didn’t realize it’d be this bad.

She totally would have left a few days earlier if she didn’t have a final scheduled for the absolute last day of the semester. It’s not like she was super excited about heading back home either, but she knew her dad and step mom would give her shit for it.

She sighed. Might as well text them now to rip off that band-aid.

Shortly after she sent the message, she heard a knock on her opened door.

“Hey, you’re still here!”

In the doorway stood Chloe Beale, undoubtedly the coolest person on their dorm floor. Beca (to her surprise) got along with most of the people on her floor, but something about Chloe specifically drew her in.

Admittedly, she found the other girl annoying at first, as she seemed like the high school girls that were fake nice just to talk about you behind your back. She soon learned, though, that Chloe was the real deal.

But not of course before giving her a hard time for a couple of months. Frustratingly, but thankfully, Chloe was incredibly persistent. Beca hadn’t really expected to make so many friends, intending to keep her head down and make her way through, but everyone grew on her. Especially Chloe.

“Yeah, unfortunately still here.” Beca replied. “Wanted to drive out today but doesn’t look like that’s gonna happen.”

Chloe invited herself in and hopped onto Beca’s bed. She hummed in understanding. “I just got back from the store and driving was for sure a struggle. Definitely would not recommend.”

“Great. You’re staying here too, then?”

“Yep! Which means you get to spend time with little ol’ me.” She propped her head on her hands. “Any plans for the day?”

There wasn’t really a Plan B since she didn’t expect her driving-back-home Plan A to not work out. “Not really, probably just gonna work on some mixes.”

“Can I join?”

“Yes, please make it a little less sad that I’m stuck here on Christmas Eve.”

“Sweet, I’ll be back.” Chloe slid off the bed and make her way out the room. “Don’t have too much fun without me!”

Beca just rolled her eyes and started setting up her laptop.

Chloe came back moments later with her sketchbook and colored pencils, and settled on Beca’s roommate’s bed. Both of them were friends with Stacie, so they knew she wouldn’t mind her bed being used.

They passed time peacefully like this for a couple of hours, each doing their separate thing.

Beca was so engrossed in her music that she doesn’t notice Chloe call out her name until the other girl waved at her to get her attention.

She slipped off her headphones. “What’s up?”

“I was thinking about getting some food soon. You in?”

The hunger hit her stomach now that food was mentioned. “Yeah, I could eat. Where at?” Though the dorms stayed open, dining halls were closed. There were plenty of places nearby though, and many of whom delivered. They went back and forth suggesting restaurants until Chloe looked like she had an epiphany. “We should go to that new ramen place!”

Beca’s immediate reaction was to pout, as they didn’t deliver. Chloe laughed.

“Oh come on, it’s a five minute walk, max. You big baby.” Chloe playfully poked her cheek. “Plus it’s super pretty outside.”

“And it’s super warm inside.”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “I’m going with or without you.”

The ultimatum was effective. Beca grumbled but put her coat on anyways. The reluctance was really just all show, as she would probably walk naked into a freezing lake for the other girl.

Snow was steadily falling outside, blanketing all the surfaces in a thick layer of white. Campus was quiet, as most of the students had already left for the holidays. It was both eerie and calming. The absence of drunk frat guys yelling, though, was definitely a plus.

“Okay I admit, it is pretty outside.” But you’re prettier. The automatic thought was so cheesy she almost threw up a bit in her mouth. Since when did she think such gross things? She could practically see Stacie smirking annoyingly at her.

Chloe grinned in victory, and Beca’s heart swooped.

Her brain definitely wasn’t lying though: Chloe was undoubtedly beautiful. The snowflakes in Chloe’s hair contrasted perfectly with the red color, making her look like some sort of magazine model. It felt kind of unfair that she could exist like that and not know what she was doing to poor Beca’s soul.

—

When the waitress asked if they needed one or two checks, Chloe replied “just one” before Beca could get a word in.

As the waitress walked away, Beca sent a questioning look to the redhead.

Chloe shrugged, “It’s easier for them to just run a single card.” Beca offered to pay her back, but she insisted it to be a holiday present. If Beca didn’t know better, she would have swore it was a date.

They were on their way back to the dorms when Beca felt something hit the back of her head.

She whipped around. “Hey!”

Chloe was already packing another snowball, clearly out for blood. She quickly launched that one too, which Beca barely managed to sidestep. She bent down to create her own snow projectile.

Chloe began to run away to get out of range, so Beca went to chase her. Unfortunately, Beca slipped on the snow and fell. Chloe was immediately at her side. “Oh my god, are you okay?”

The snow cushioned her fall pretty well, but Beca didn’t want to give that away just yet. She faked a grimace. “I think I broke my leg.”

“Oh shit.” Chloe furrowed her eyebrows in worry. “I’m so sorry I-“

Beca felt too bad that she immediately stopped her. “I’m joking, I’m actually fine.”

It took a moment to register, and then Chloe slapped her on the arm. “You scared me!”

Beca rubbed the spot where she was hit. “Ok now I actually have to go to the hospital.”

Chloe just slapped her arm again, before offering a hand to pull her up. Beca took it but didn’t get up. Chloe looked confused as Beca smirked, and then pulled the other girl down into the snow with her. She fell on her face in the fresh snow with a satisfying poof.

“Oh my god, you asshole.” Chloe laughed after pulling her face up, and shoved at the other girl, who was still laying in the snow.

“Chlo you have a beard.” Beca was practically wheezing at the sight of Chloe having snow stuck all over her face. “Still hot though.”

Chloe modeled it, striking poses and getting up to walk down an imaginary runway, while Beca yelled after her, hyping her up.

They messed around in the snow for a while longer, then took the long way back. Beca considered complaining about the cold and wet seeping in, but Chloe just looked so happy. Plus, it really was nice outside. Walking with Chloe in the peace of campus was a moment Beca wanted to keep tucked in her pocket forever.

—

After getting back, they went to take showers (separately) to warm themselves up, deciding to reconvene later in Chloe’s room. Beca sat on her bed with her hair in a towel, scrolling through her phone. She opened a message from Stacie, who was definitely one of her best friends in college so far. She flew out a couple of days ago and told Beca not to “get too freaky” while she was gone. Beca practically shoved her out the door.

Stacie [6:31 pm]: You make it home?

Beca [7:13 pm]: No, stuck here. Stupid snow.

A reply immediately came in.

Stacie [7:13 pm]: Ugh that sucks, are you by yourself then?

Beca hesitated on what exactly to say, knowing Stacie would immediately make fun of her for the truth.

Beca [7:15 pm]: Not exactly…..Chloe is also still here

Stacie [7:16 pm]: !!!!!!!!!!

Stacie [7:16 pm]: BECA

Stacie [7:16 pm]: THIS IS YOUR CHANCE

Beca [7:17 pm]: Dude she doesn’t like me

Stacie [7:18 pm]: Do NOT bother coming back to campus if you don’t shoot your shot right now

Stacie [7:19 pm]: Joking but also not

Stacie [7:19 pm]: She hangs out w you all the time. She actually listens to your music recs. Plz do something.

Stacie [7:20 pm]: Ok talk later family is calling for dinner, good luck!!!!!

Beca [7:21 pm]: ??? I’m going to ignore that you basically implied not listening to any of the music I’ve suggested

She fell back onto her bed. She wanted to make a move, and she did feel like there could be something between them. However, each time Chloe was nice to someone else, she got psyched out believing that Chloe was always just being platonically nice to her. No flirting involved.

With each passing day, though, it became harder to deny she wanted her. And how badly she did. She caught herself staring a bit too long, and hung endlessly on the small touches Chloe would always do. A brush of the finger here, and a hair tucked behind an ear there. Beca thought some days she might explode.

She texted Chloe to ask if she was ready yet.

Chloe [7:25 pm]: Sorry got distracted!! Hopping in the shower now.

With the extra time, Beca decided to finish the mix she was working on earlier that day. There was something off about it that she couldn’t quite figure out, but coming back to it now, she figured out what it was missing. She listened to it a few times to make sure she was really happy with it before mastering it.

A text came in from Chloe, letting her know she could come over whenever.

Beca quickly added the song to a USB which already contained many music files, then placed the drive into a small pink, cardboard box she got from Stacie. The box originally held a necklace, which made it the perfect size for her gift.

She stashed it in her sweater pocket then made her way to Chloe’s room in the other wing of the floor.

It was still relatively early in the night, so Chloe suggested a movie. Beca wasn’t one for movies usually, but it wasn’t like she had any better ideas.

They cuddled together on the small dorm bed in Chloe’s den of pillows, with the laptop in front of them. The movie was actually pretty good, despite all the bad decisions the main character kept making, and the fact that Beca missed half the plot due to glancing at Chloe instead, and being nervous about how close they were.

“Thoughts?” Chloe turned down the volume as the credits began to roll.

“I think she should have gone with the second guy.”

“Really? I thought he was kind of iffy.”

They proceeded have a lively discussion about the movie, with Beca continuing to argue mostly to mess with Chloe, who seemed quite adamant about the main character’s end choice of romantic partner. It ended with Chloe tickling her until Beca finally admitted her defeat.

“Okay, close your eyes.”

Beca looked at Chloe warily, still catching her breath from the tickling attack. “Um, why?”

“Just do it.”

She sighed but did as she was told.

“No peeking!”

Her index finger drew a cross above her heart, signaling her promise to not look.

“Okay, you can open them now.”

In front of her was a piece of paper carefully rolled into a tube and bound with a red bow. Beca picked it up, gingerly untying the ribbon, unraveling her gift. Her jaw dropped.

“Chloe…”

In her hands was a pencil sketch of her with headphones on, smiling and almost on the verge of laughing. Honestly, she never thought about what she looked like while she was happy. The image of herself in her mind was always some version of broody. Is this how Chloe saw her? Beca wasn’t one to usually cry, but she might have teared up a bit.

“This is…incredible.”

Chloe looked kind of nervous. The same way that Beca was protective of showing others her music, Chloe was hesitant to show much of her art. “You like it?”

“Dude I love it. Seriously.” That reassurance seemed to put Chloe at ease. “Okay, your turn to close your eyes.”

Chloe did it without hesitation, and also held out her hands. Beca shook her head a bit in amusement and placed the small box into her palm.

“Okay, open.”

She opened her eyes and lifted the lid of the box to find a black USB drive, with a piece of tape on the side simply labeled “For Chloe”.

Her smile widened as she realized what her present was. “Do I get to finally listen to your music?”

“Maybe.”

“It means a lot, Beca. Thank you.”

“Um yeah, no problem. Don’t tell me if you end up thinking it’s bad.” She joked.

“Oh please, you’re going to have to block me with how many good things I’ll say.”

“Don’t tempt me, I might delete your contact right now.”

Chloe laughed. “Oh please, like you could last a day without me. Also, I actually have another present for you.” She scotched a bit closer to Beca.

“Oh,” Beca furrowed her eyebrows. “Well, I don’t have anything el-“

She was swiftly cut off as Chloe kissed her, soft and sweet. So polite and unassuming it almost felt platonic.

But god did it give Beca butterflies.

Chloe pulled away so quickly that Beca wasn’t sure it even happened. Like maybe she just daydreamed too hard and manifested a hallucination.

She must have had a deer in the headlights look because Chloe suddenly got super shy. “Was that okay?” She whispered, face still close.

Beca finally came to her senses. “Yeah, totally. More than okay. Amazing really.” She must look like a blushing mess.

The corner of Chloe’s mouth quirked up in amusement and relief. “Yeah?”

“Still could be better, though.” Good work Beca, make a joke to regain some semblance of having her shit together.

“Oh?” She watched Chloe lick her lips, a mesmerizing motion. The shyness was all but gone, replaced by something much more confident, and destined to ruin Beca’s life. And she knew she’d welcome it with open arms.

—

Beca woke up in the morning to the light touch of fingers trailing along her jaw. She smiled, remembering where she was, and more importantly, who was besides her. She probably had the best night of sleep in her life. “Can’t keep your hands off of me, Beale?” She asked, keeping her eyes closed.

“Are you going to try and stop me?” Chloe whispered. Her raspy morning voice was really so damn attractive.

She opened one eye, smiling. “I wouldn’t dare.”

“Good.” Chloe leaned in for a long kiss, the hand on her face pulling Beca closer. Her breath hitched. She didn’t think she could ever get used to this. Kissing Chloe Beale. Touching her.

She pulled away all too soon, just as Beca began to want her even more. Beca was quickly learning how much of a tease Chloe was.

“i’m going to get ready, and then maybe we can go get breakfast somewhere?”

“Or…we can stay in bed all day.”

Chloe giggled, and Beca almost professed her love. “Becs, both of us gotta head home.”

“Do we though?”

Chloe just smiled as she slipped out of bed and grabbed her toothbrush and face towel. Before she was completely out the door, she gave her butt a little shake, as if she could tell Beca was staring at her clad in a large t-shirt and sleep shorts. Beca was sure Chloe was smirking as she did it.

As soon as she was out of sight, Beca grabbed her phone from the desk. A text from her dad and a couple from Stacie. She opened the messages from the latter.

Stacie [11:13 pm]: How’d it go?

Stacie [11:30 pm]: I’m assuming the silence is a good thing and ur just too busy making out with Chloe to reply ;)

Beca typed out a quick message.

Beca [9:30 am]: So…..

Stacie [9:30 am]: THIS BETTER BE GOOD NEWS

Beca [9:31 am]: How do you keep replying so quickly??

Stacie [9:31 am]: How about you stop avoiding

Beca thought of the million different things she could say, but opted for simplicity.

Beca [9:32 am]: :)

Stacie [9:33 am]: Is that good

Stacie [9:33 am]: Beca is that good

Stacie [9:34 am]: ?????

She set her phone down, feeling giddy. It might have been a bit cruel to leave Stacie hanging, but she’d get over it. She’d get the full story eventually, but right now, Beca wanted to keep as much of this thing with Chloe to herself as possible. Definitely not like a shameful secret, though.

Something about telling someone about it, however vaguely, made last night and this morning seem actually real.  She had this feeling deep in her chest that this was the start of something incredible, which made her both excited and a bit scared. Ok a lot scared. Terrified even.

It sucked that they’d have be apart right as they were starting something. Winter break couldn’t be over soon enough.

[patheticwithanem]

2020 in Retrospect

Hey friend,

I know it’s late, but I HAVE TO DO THIS. I kind of promised myself I’m writing about the year that was. I’m not exactly sure why; maybe it’s to put things in perspective going in to 2021? And today’s my fourth year anniversary with my employer, so I guess it’s perfect timing? (More on that later)

So I was going through my notes (I have this habit of writing down what happens on a daily basis - be it activities, emotions, drama, name it) and one thing’s for sure. 2020 SUCKED. It did. But I’m committing to this no matter what!

First things first: lots of profanities along the way. Well actually, I was about halfway writing the letter when fucking Tumblr decided to refresh and delete what I’ve been writing for about one fucking hour now. So I have to fucking do it all over again. If this is the Lord telling me to stop being sentimental about 2020, fret not my Lord! I’m one stubborn son of a bitch, so I’m carrying on.

Here’s how the rest of the year unfolded. 2020. Let’s go.

JANUARY. Reunions?

January 1. Had a get-together with a few relatives in Malabon. It was fun! I used to be so allergic to family reunions but I guess age creeping in changes you? You value people even more now? This was also the last time we’re able to spend some time with my uncle from Singapore. He brought his family to spend the holidays here. He’s a sweetheart and a great father who’s missed.

January 9. I attended a college dormmate’s wedding. I remember contemplating whether to go or not only to realize I’m actually lucky to be even invited given the fact that I chose to be distant for them for a long while. I also told myself that not showing up is so far from what I’m trying to be. Although I wasn’t there for the whole thing, I’m glad I did come. I was able to bond with my roommates once again whom I treated like brothers ten years ago and that was nice. A not-so-close dormmate even introduced me to his boyfriend and that’s huuuuge. The bride was beautiful too, and I’m glad she’s in the best place right now after all she’s been through. She’s a strong one, that girl.

January 11. Got invited to a birthday pool party of a colleague at work. I have to say I’m actually quite surprised I was invited to this. She’s always had my back though and always kind of looked after me, so I had to go. It was fun but I didn’t get drunk AT ALL. 

January 12. AND THIS IS WHERE SHIT STARTED HAPPENING. The Taal Volcano erupted. It was awful especially for everyone living near the area because everything was covered with ash. It was also a day before my brother’s birthday and we thought the ashfall would be worse the next day so we decided to celebrate earlier. 

January 19. Went to a fiesta. Did not expect to survive that at all. It was a different kind of neighborhood, but the people were nice. 

January 25. Went to a public market with co-workers to buy clothes, eat chicken wings for dinner and then our regular fix of karaoke. Good times. 

Anything else? I was able to book a birthday trip to Yogyakarta, which I eventually canceled because of youknowwhat. Tragic.

February. Blindside!

February 7. Blindside’s a bitch. Yes, that’s what I had written on my notes. I legitimately felt blindsided. So story: I have a friend who I found out was pregnant (let’s call her Ms. Preggy, sorry) and me and her bestfriend (let’s call him Work Son because he was my work son in a lot of ways) decided to hold an intervention for her. The four of us including a friend I’m going to call The-Now-Bestie (kind of a spoiler) whom I had a misunderstanding and was not in speaking terms with will be coming to Work Son’s place. Essentially, the goal was to make Ms. Preggy open up about her pregnancy and her issues with the douchebag father; make her feel that she has us and she doesn’t need to be alone in this. I think it went well, in that regard. However, the whole thing was awkward in epic proportions. It’s as if me and The-Now-Bestie didn’t want to acknowledge each other’s existence, and when we didn’t have a choice, we were sarcastic to each other. I also really felt like an outsider among the four that time; like I wasn’t supposed to be there and wasn’t really contributing to anything. It was a really lonely feeling. I decided to distance myself to them after that.

February 13. WINNERS AT WAR PREMIERE! Words can’t even express how excited I was to see some of my heroes again on screen! Parvati with that “phoenix rising from the ashes” confessional? Damn, girl! Still a fucking legend! It was also nostalgic Yul working his godfather magic once again. I’ve always seen him as a top-tier winner and someone I looked up to for what he represented to the Asian community and the history of Survivor. It was also nice seeing Kim, Tyson, Tony, Sophie, Natalie and Sandra. But I must say I kind of missed Todd. He was my favorite winner and was a great storyteller, a great strategist and a great character with an amazing comeback story. He would’ve been perfect for a season with this caliber of players. And as much as I hate Jeff Probst for shoving him down our throats, I wanted to see Cochran play with these winners! Caramoan’s my first season (a late superfan, yes) and he’s the very reason I got so hooked with the show. I used to think it’s a game where people like me never win. So to see someone like Cochran who’s awkward in every sense of the word (and owning it) win Survivor, it is very inspiring. I like speaking in metaphors and it’s funny how much metaphorical Survivor can be to how I see life now. I see Cochran and if he can win in Survivor, I feel like I can win in life, as silly as that sounds. Cochran sucked his first season, but he then went on to play this dominant game his second try while still managing to be the adorkable underdog that he is. I love that story. Man, I get so worked up when I talk about Survivor! I wish I had that same passion with anything else.

February 19. Mom slipped and had to be rushed to the nearest ER. Good thing there were no fractures and she was fine. I guess we can thank the fats for that? LOL

February 21 ‘til 23. WEEKEND STAYCATION! I needed this! Drinking at the hotel taproom with a live band? YES! Indian for lunch and surf-and-turf buffet for dinner? YES YES YES! That lamb chops, MY LORD. Thank you.

February 29. Leap Day. I started journaling again. 

March. FUCKING COVID.

March 16. The Start of the Lockdown we all come to love now (punk, sarcasm). 

March 17. Politics is so taboo to discuss especially over dinner. But then BAM. I had a major fight with my dad (and by major, I mean MAJOR in a get-out-of-the-house-in-the-middle-of-the-pandemic kind of major). It was basically about a comment he made that’s so misogynistic (towards the Vice President) that I just knew I can’t just let go. It was sooo bad I got all pissed, and when I’m pissed, I can get scary. Maybe it’s the voice or the eyes or both, but the fight got really heated on the verge of getting physical. Which now that I think about it is stupid just because of fucking different political views. Well, I can never get behind the President and they’re huge fans of him and I’ve come to terms with that but it’s just... bleh. I’m not even gonna try to rationalize it because I can’t. It’s just.. disgusting. Oh fucking well. 

April. Wander-fucking-lust.

April 1. I started a 30-day Financial Detox which basically meant no unnecessary expenses. No online shopping, no paying for leisure. None. It was April Fools, but I was dead-set on saving! (Spoiler alert: I failed.)

April 6. Meltdown. I just really couldn’t hold it in anymore.

April 11. Dad’s birthday. After not talking for over a month (which is no easy feat in a tiny condominium unit), we acknowledged each other’s presence. By April 15, it’s like nothing happened anymore. He even gave me a home haircut (which for a beginner, is pretty good). On other news, I started watching The Politician on Netflix and t’was the day I started obsessing on Ben Platt and his music. 

April 16. A year ago, I was enjoying sidewalk pho and almost making friends at Cu Chi Tunnels and the Saigon Skydeck of the Bitexco Financial Tower in Ho Chi Minh. Damn, covid.

April 18. That crazy border-crossing from Saigon to Phnom Penh a year ago. That was fulfilling. Damn, covid.

April 19. A year ago, I was experiencing sunrise at Angkor Wat. Wander-fucking-lust UGH. 

April 30. That Town Hall shoutout from our company’s President because of reaching my quota from last month. That really felt good. As much as I hate to admit it, I like being validated from time to time. It definitely meant a lot especially coming from her who took a chance on me. I was patting my back.

MAY. Endure. Let Go. 

May 14. KING TONY WON. Very well-deserved win. A disappointment of a season if you ask me, but props to the king for dominating an all-winners season. Respect for that. Also Natalie and Michele played great games as well and they should be very proud of themselves. I feel like a proud father to these winners HAHAHA!

May 16. Was pleasantly surprised with Dead to Me. That car scene between Jen and Judy on that ninth episode from the second season? Damn. That’s one of the few moments I teared up because of a TV show. That was powerful. All that tension building up and then that sudden release? I really felt that.

May 26. Why do I always feel all this fucking rage inside of me? I try to think of any triggers but I can’t seem to find one that’s actually reasonable. It’s like the isolation getting the best of me. I initially thought quarantine’s going to be a cakewalk for an introvert like myself, but it wasn’t the case. I feel like I’m losing my shit because I was stripped off of the usual things I have access to whenever I feel uneasy and anxious and angry like this. Endure, let go, I know. But it’s so much easier said than done, right?

JUNE. Breathe.

June 12. So the plan to sell the condo and find a new place is real. We went to this great place in Valenzuela and it was a great house and all but I felt weird. Maybe I was having trouble letting go? Maybe it’s just me being averse to change yet again?

June 15. Slept 6am for that How To Get Away With Murder series finale. That speech. VIOLA. Chills all over my body. 

June 18. New phone was delivered. That was fast.

June 27. First time visiting the village we moved to. We were checking a different house this time and was already picturing us living there. Still felt weird, but maybe less.

Looking at it now, I realize almost nothing happened in this stretch of months. Pathetic.

JULY. Change (that’s not necessarily good lol)

July 3. The Anti-Terrorism Bill signed. FUCK THE CIRCUS THAT IS THE PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT. 

July 10. Doomsday. The ABS-CBN renewal disapproved. FUCK THE CIRCUS THAT IS THE PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT. Also, that first house we checked was bought this day. First heartbreak.

July 22. Decided to donate to one of my elementary teachers to help finance school supplies for his students in the province. That felt good. 

July 24. folklore’s goooood. This is the Taylor Swift sound that I love. (I had to write that down because that was a 2020 highlight to be honest)

AUGUST. Getting older. Again.

August 2. Donated to another cause: to help a really close friend’s mom (who’s a school principal) on financing their students’ lesson modules (they needed more paper so the donation was going to be used to buy more paper). That felt good.

August 3. Started obsessing on Dear Evan Hansen. I mean come on. HOW COME I ONLY KNEW OF THIS NOW?!?! The story, the acting, the soundtrack... it felt like I asked the Lord for a musical for me and he gave this on a silver platter. 

August 9. Lasagna, baked sushi, lechon belly, pansit, cake. Weird combination, I know, but that’s me!

August 11. Discovered the Slowly app. Changed my life since then! I’m not even exaggerating. I guess it has to do with feeling extremely lonely amid the pandemic and getting this platform where you can talk to literally anyone while still keeping your anonymity. And it strips you off of instant gratification you’re so used to because you actually have to wait for your letters to be sent and to arrive. A great exercise for patience if you ask me! And since you have to wait, you make your letters longer and more worthwhile. It’s a platform free of judgment which relies heavily on building actual mental and emotional connections. It’s a gift, truly. NOT EXAGGERATING; YES I’M THAT LONELY.

August 23. The house search continued. This time, the South!

August 24. It was my first time watching a Korean drama and I gotta say I get the hype now. Korea makes great stories and they take their time when telling these stories. The story centering about mental health was definitely what got me to try watching It’s Okay to Not Be Okay, but the show’s so much more than that. That was a great watch.

SEPTEMBER. Finally some light?

September 1. Second year anniversary. I still really miss her.

September 5. My cat’s 5th birthday! Of course we had to celebrate for her with baked macaroni and burnt cheesecake. 

September 11. Lost uncle. He gave a good fight. 

September 19. SENSE8. It’s a show that doesn’t need any explaining. It’s the BEST. I love this cast SO MUCH. I remember thinking if I ever get a tattoo (which is unlikely), I’ll maybe have the title of that Sense8 series finale inked on me. AMOR VINCIT OMNIA. Love conquers all. 

September 27. After a series of unfortunate events, we were led to this house on the same village we keep going back to, and the moment we saw it, we were sold. This is going to be our house. And it happened.

OCTOBER. Surprises?

October 6. Hooked up with someone I probably shouldn’t.

October 12. Booked a trip for next year because I’M HOPEFUL AS FUCK.

October 21. Had the best conversation I had in a long time. 

October 22. Hooked up with someone I probably shouldn’t. 

October 28. Organized a digital event for work. I’m still on the fence whether I’m proud of it or not. It was my first event, and I’ve wanted to do that for a long time. While I enjoyed all the preparation that came with it, from making that tactical marketing plan to coordinating with the organizers and my team, I felt like it was bland. There were lapses here and there and I know that we all tried the best we could, but maybe I just pictured it a little better in my mind? It wasn’t a flawless event and maybe I wanted it to be flawless. But it was fun. I never would’ve imagined me hosting an event, but I did. 

NOVEMBER. Decisions.

November 14. So news came and we’re finally moving. The buyer of the condo got approved and it was only a matter of weeks to settle documents and payment and we’re good to go. I had mixed feelings about it. It took me back to that time we started looking for houses. I wasn’t exactly ready to let go of the place I grew with for the past five years. And I wasn’t also ready to let go of the convenience, and the relationships I only have started building with friends I found along the way. But at that moment I knew I had to be happy because they were happy. My family was happy. I knew I have to be happy.

November 21. Started all the packing. Packing meant decluttering and reminiscing, so letting go of more things which was overwhelming at first, but inevitable. 

November 23. I had something checked in the hospital, and something happened and it wasn’t supposed to go that way but it did and it was so fucking bizarre lol

November 28. HAPPY MOVING DAY. It’s that day of the year. Stress was off the charts because of the time constraint and frankly, the lack of preparedness. Good thing a few people helped us with the rest of the packing. It was an impossible task for me and my sister alone so we were glad we got all the help we needed. I did most of the heavy lifting, so I had bruises all over my body for weeks, but after all was said and done, it felt surreal. Felt like everything coming full circle. That first night in the new home? I’ll never forget that. That was special.

December. The end of an era.

December 2. I went back to the condo to stay for a few more days. Get to feel the place one last time. Also lost a huge deal at work to a competitor. I usually really get depressed with these losses, but for some reason I felt indifferent about it. I guess it was my mind telling me I’ve mentally checked out of work already? That maybe it is really time to move on to something that’ll make me care about what I do again? Make me feel again?

December 4. Met someone (who we can call the Professor) I’ve been talking to for a while now. We’ve had some really great conversations leading to this night; talks at 3AM that’s kind of liberating? I was upfront about the moving and that I only have a few days left in the place which is probably why it happened. Professor was also upfront about leaving the country in a few months for an opportunity to work and do research in Japan for five fucking years. It was awkward at first; but we eventually warmed up to each other and spent the night together. 

December 5. Things escalated pretty quickly. The Professor gave me a shower (that was weird but I was feeling it and I thought it was sweet and sexy?). We cuddled until we slept and there was breakfast prepared when I woke up. I don’t usually get to experience this kind of stuff so I really appreciated that. I was feeling it. I thought I can get used to this! I left the place and was invited back again so I stayed over for another night. We’ve had a few more interesting conversations. I was not expecting some of the things we discussed especially the talk about long-distance relationships. The Professor asked me what I think about it and I was honest; I’m not against it but it’s not something I’ll take a chance on if I wasn’t sure about it. Mantra’s always been connection first before commitment. I’m not the “take a leap of faith” kind-of guy; I needed to be sure. Or at the very least be really mentally and emotionally connected with the person. I thought that made perfect sense. I still do.

December 6. So it was finally goodbye. Me and my sister went to the nearest church to donate a few clothes and shoes and to attend a mass. Bid farewell to the Professor too and promised each other to keep in touch. I also had an awkward encounter with my sister’s “friend” who she sneaked in the condo for God knows what for. Pretty sure they did the nasty.

December 13. We went to our old house (the one I spent my younger years in) to get a few stuff for the new house. I only really wanted to get my old bicycle because I want to be biking regularly for the next year. I want to take that fitness journey seriously! So I got the bike and I got to spend some time with some childhood friends. Good stuff.

December 15. A teammate resigned at work. The funny thing is he did it after getting that 13th month bonus HAHAHA! I can’t blame him though after learning about the salary he gets when he’s performing three functions in the team. That’s insane. But it really made me wonder: am I still in this for the long haul? Or do I move on too?

December 17. So I had my work desk and wardrobe delivered. Felt so nice buying things for my room! 

December 19. We got a new dog! Another French Bulldog. He’s pretty sweet. Someone’s not happy! (MY MOM)

December 22. And then this happened. We were supposed to meet after my dentist appointment (which I only used as an excuse to meet and I thought that was obvious) but the Professor never showed up. I waited for FIVE FREAKIN HOURS. I had like clothes with me because we agreed I sleepover but FUCK. Good thing a friend kept me company, but that was horrible. I thought YOU NEVER DO THAT TO ANYONE. I deserve better.

December 24. We had our house blessed. It was all super spontaneous; we invited a few friends and relatives over and had an intimate gathering. Mom got emotional (AGAIN).

December 27. So Ms. Preggy (from February - oooh that rhymed) had her son baptized. Since she lives a little father from the city, we decided to have a little staycation with some friends there too. The-Now-Bestie and Work Son was there, and we had beer and homecooked food and a slew of great conversations to cap off the year. 

Also December 27. I knew I needed to get something off my chest. And I just had to say it. 

“You’re so unfair. You shouldn’t have done that. Gave me false hopes. Gave me a “3-day trial period” only to disappear without any warning. Made promises you never intended to keep. You could’ve just told me you’re not interested anymore and I would’ve been fine with that but instead, you ghosted me. For the past few weeks since that weekend, it never seemed like you wanted to get to know me better. Or even just keep the communication going. It’s been one-sided and I wonder: has it always been this way? Maybe I’m remembering things differently. I told you I like you and I meant that. I’m still wrapping around my head why and how it happened to be honest. Maybe it’s that weekend? Maybe it’s the conversations leading up to when we first met? I don’t know. But things changed after that and I should ask you for an explanation but it’s really not the point. The point is I thought we can work something out and you hurt me. You may feel like you’re running out of time because of Japan but it’s no excuse to do that to anyone, really. You seem so sure about what you want so I hope you get whatever that is. Merry Christmas. Thanks for the memories.”

That was intense.

December 28. The Professor responded. ���I apologize... I am getting attached... I had to “ponder on its implications to me in the long run”... I decided to slow down... It hurts... “That weekend that we met felt like I knew you before”... I am afraid... “You have no idea how hard it is to leave everything behind every 4-5 fucking years not because I wanted it but because I have to”... I still hope to continue whatever we have... “I will always remember you. Please don’t forget about me.”... YADA YADA YADA. 

I know. You know me. I try to empathize as much as possible. But I mean, come on. These are things I already know. It’s not what I needed to hear.

December 31. I needed to say something one last time. There’s already a lot of uncertainties in the world with COVID and life and everything else. I knew I needed answers; I want the binary. I want the black or white for this one. I’m not taking the gray with me next year. So I asked the following questions:

“What do you want from me? Do you want to be friends? Or we stick with occasional catching up on Viber every once in a while (because that’s what it sounds like to me)?”

“What do you want to get from your last two months here? What are you looking for? Just make the most “fun’? Or look for something that will stick?”

“Have you told me anything you really didn’t mean?”

“That one time we talked about long-distance, were you asking me?”

Fast forward to now: I never got the answer I needed. I guess this is one of those rare occasions where no answer is the answer. And after a few weeks of contemplating about it, I am leaving it behind in 2020. 

I’m actually at peace with that.

So there you have it. The suck-fest that is 2020. The first month of the new year wasn’t so bad. I feel this great energy. This year’s going to be different. I did tell you that this letter’s perfect timing. That’s because I’ve resigned and I’m moving on. A friend told me a while ago that he’s proud of me for finally taking action. The 2018 version of myself wouldn’t have done what I did and he was happy for me. I wanted a clean slate and I took it. That I was finally taking ownership of my life. 

I was elated. My friend usually spoils me with compliments and encouragement and my ever reliable negative self-image tend to disagree with him but for the first time in a very long time, it felt right. I’m not usually excited for New Years, but I guess I am?

I say bring it on, 2021.

Until then,

Patheticwithanem

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 3x04 Chapter Forty-Eight

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1)   I usually cut Xiomara some slack, but this whole flashback where “Jane leaves the nest” because her mother just got a new boyfriend and is taking her kid to leave with him? Yeah, that makes her look bad, in my opinion. It’s one of those things that the show does to shoehorn a theme and make it relevant throughout Jane’s life… but it makes it look like Xiomara took her kid to live at a stranger’s house because he had a pool? If he had been a significant person in their lives, we surely would’ve heard about him before, right?

Other than that, I think it’s an interesting premise to dive into how Jane leaving will affect everyone else.

2)   Rogelio wants to star in one of those Hallmark Christmas movies that my mom loves watching and that make me cringe so badly in order to raise his American profile, and is this the right move for you, Rogelio, my dude? I don’t think so. There must be some other way.

3)   What is this douchebag turning the Marbella into, for fuck’s sake?

4)   Anezka/Petra just told Jane she doesn’t like her and never has, and it kind of feels good?

Are you really that surprised, Jane?

5)   So… Petra’s silent contribution to Jane’s rent could be the thing that reveals “Petra” is actually Anezka, right? I mean, Petra is the one who made the deal and Anezka has no idea about it – just like she didn’t know about the argument between Jane and Petra had before the wedding – and hence, she hasn’t been paying Jane’s rent. If she’s confronted about it, though, she could pretend and say she just stopped paying because of the argument, right? How long can they keep Petra paralyzed, though? How come no one realizes Petra is not really Petra? To be honest, if I was her, I’d feel terrible knowing literally NO ONE notices I’m gone.

6)   Truer words have never been spoken…

7)   First, Rob Lowe. Now, Rafael. Rogelio’s ego is getting destroyed lately.

8)   Was that… a spark?

By the way, no wonder both Jane and Xiomara are so entitled and somewhat irresponsible. Alba just brought an old lady in a wheelchair to the Marbella just because she fancied seeing her granddaughter. Sure, lady, suit yourself. Do whatever you want while you’re on the clock.

9)   She’s not wrong.

Of course she should be supportive, but I honestly can’t think of a more ill-fitted job for Xiomara than bank teller. I give her a day.

10) It’s America, so it sounds legit.

11) Jane was close to figuring it out when “Petra” said she bought the house when in fact she rented it, but then she pulled the “I stopped paying because of our fight.” Instead of getting busted, she got an invite to Jane and Michael’s housewarming party.

12) On the plus side, Magda’s prison buddy just showed up and pressured Petra into following through with their plan and sell the Marbella shares or else she’ll reveal her true identity. Anezka is not an idiot, though, she couldn’t have managed to full everyone FOR MONTHS if she were.  

13) So… now that Petra’s not paying half of their rent, Michael and Jane have to cut their budget to pay for those thousand bucks. After a lot of debating, Jane suggests they should just go ask Rogelio for the rest, promising to pay him back. And while I think that’s okay, I feel it’s a bit OOC for Jane to come to that decision so quickly. She’s very proud and doesn’t like asking for help, especially when it comes to money. Although… since she’s rubbing shoulders with Rafael and Rogelio she’s occasionally taken advantage of the good life they can provide for her, so there’s also that. Is it OOC or is it completely in character?

14) Okay, now that Petra has told Rafael that she wants to sell her shares, he’s starting to notice there’s something fishy.

YES!

….

15) Weird dinner party does not go well, shocks no one.

16) Not only did Xiomara last only a day, but she actually pretended to like the job before admitting to her mother that she was right. But she’s not even good at pretending because she got caught immediately, and humiliatingly. Regardless, all I can think is about the poor old lady being wheeled around the city because Alba just doesn’t give a fuck about her job.

17) Michael figured Jane lied to him about one of the items on their budget, and to be frank, I’m on his side? Jane is keeping information from him as if he was a child who can’t manage his own money, but he’s got a point. She’s been living at her grandma’s house her whole life, her dad pays for her school, Rafael covers most of Mateo’s expenses, and she “survives” on what I can only assume is a part-time job – since she’s barely at the Marbella. So she might not agree with his filing system, but he’s definitely had more experience being financially independent than she has.

18) Ouch! Jane turned down Scott’s bribe, but Lina took it? Behind Jane’s back? And screwing everyone over because of it? That’s awful!

19) OMG Rogelio is babysitting the moron and why are we having these two interact with each other just now?

20) I really enjoyed the scenes where fantasy young Jane helped Alba navigate her relationship with Xiomara since she always was the glue that stuck that family together. I think the writers nailed this one. It was a great way to show that despite Jane not living with them anymore, her influence lingers, and they both have become better persons because of it. That’s a lasting impact that doesn’t simply go away.

It led to Xiomara and Alba having one of their most honest and mature conversations in a while – Alba encouraging Xiomara to take her time finding out what she likes and Xiomara encouraging Alba to go look for her own passion now that she has her green card.  

21) Is Rogelio going to help the moron or break her? Either way, I’m in!

22) Rafael is getting slightly assaulted, isn’t he?

23) Both, I think. He’s breaking her to help her. I hope.

I'm a terrible sister and that's why I want to drink, so that I don't feel this. (…) Because all I do is cause Rafael pain. And I think my ex-lover killed his mother. (…)  I just feel so bad, you know? My brother doesn't deserve this. No matter how many times I've failed him, he's always been there for me. And then now that he has no family, I still can't pull it together and be there for him.

Leave it to Rogelio to make me not only tolerate the most unlikable character in this show but also feel for her.

That being said, I can understand that this is why she wants to drink now, but there must be another reason why she started drinking in the first place.  

24) Why do I continue to be surprised at Rogelio being the best character in this whole show? Not only did he give the moron the best advice anyone has ever given her (“Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.”) but he also helped her decide to go to preventative rehab. And then! He told Rafael that he truly is a good person and that he should’ve seen that earlier. And after Rafael told him he was probably not getting the part in the Hallmark movie, he simply shrugged it off and said that Rafael was more important than that. I just want to hug Rogelio forever, he’s such a lovely, wholesome man!

25) It’s not a telenovela without a catfight, right?

26) Jane and Michael finally decided to move to a smaller place until they can actually afford to move back to a bigger one. And then the narrator dropped this bit of foreshadowing…

And friends, they really believed that would happen... but we're not there yet.

Ugh, what does this mean? Will they break up? Will Michael die for real? Please tell me Jane is not getting back together with Rafael because I will culcutabitch! What other reason could there be for them not to follow through with their plans? 

27) Okay, Alba just got a job at the gift shop, so I’m guessing the spark I saw is actually there.

28) “Angels guard the sun”. Those are the words that were underlined in the Bible Rafael’s mother was clutching when she was murdered. I will not try to figure this one out, but I hope it’s something smart.

29) Anezka is fucking ruthless. She demanded Rafael give her permission to sell her shares AND that he sign his own shares over to her.

30) FINALLY!

Ya think?!

But... Of all the things, this is what gave her away? Okay, I guess…

31) While I don’t feel this is one of the most iconic episodes of this show, it was still pretty enjoyable. I especially liked the Xiomara/Alba scenes and development as well as everything Rogelio as always, particularly how he managed to be the first person to make the moron seem human. I’m very excited at the prospect of having Petra back, although I have no idea how they’re going to give closure to the whole Anezka/Magda plot. We’ll see what happens!

32) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

[imitranslates]

Fukigen na Mononokean Ch. 73

A surprise meeting for the boys this month...

Please remember to check out the official English release when it comes out, preferably on Crunchyroll if you’re able to!

The newest chapter can be read on the official website by clicking the yellow button labeled 読む!

Fukigen na Mononokean Chapter 73 - Tearful Audience

Page 1

Aoi: You can see me off from here.

Aoi: My body won't be able to move in a few more days.

Page 2

Aoi: When I become nourishment for the parasitic shrub, and my spiritual power is weakened,

Aoi: The one I nominated as my successor will be appointed as a new guardian of the door to the Underworld.

Aoi: That means the moment you are able to call the door to the Underworld, "Abeno Haruitsuki" will become the master of the Mononokean.

Aoi: Do everything for the sake of the demons.

Page 3

Aoi: See you... Itsuki.

Page 4

Abeno: Good morning.

Mononokean: Mornin'~!

Mononokean: Hm?

Mononokean: Don't you have school today? Are you planning to go in those clothes?

Abeno: That's not it.

Abeno: I want to visit Newt Lake first.

Abeno: I want to report to the Legislator about Yahiko's case as soon as possible.

Page 5

Mononokean: Then, I'll connect a door to Newt Lake.

Abeno: Good morning.

Legislator: I don't want to start working right after getting up... Can't you come back after I've slept some more?

Page 6

Legislator: ...I see.

Legislator: It's just as you thought, Itsuki.

Legislator: The true identity of that fox spirit is Prince Mioya-hiko.

Legislator: But we didn't expect the Princess's poor condition to have an effect on Prince Mioya-hiko, too.

I'll share the information about this matter with everyone.

Abeno: I'd be grateful.

Abeno: With that, I'll be...

Legislator: Hey, wait a moment.

Legislator: There's one more thing you need to report.

Abeno: ?

Page 7

Legislator: The Underworld Princess said, "I'd like to meet the second master of the Mononokean."

Abeno: Me?

Legislator: When we talked about Aoi's remains, she was very interested.

Legislator: Isn't this your chance for an audience?

Page 8

Legislator: It's a special occasion, so why not bring your employee along to introduce him and go answer her questions?

Abeno: Ah?!

Legislator: Since it's like that...

Legislator: All members of the Mononokean must go to visit the Underworld Princess.

That's a "rule."

(Ashiya: GYAAAAAH!)

Page 9

(Ashiya: Gyaaaaah!!)

(Abeno: Shut up.)

Justice: Ashiya-kun, we've arrived.

Ashiya: Nn...

Page 10

Justice: Through here is how you get to the Princess's throne.

Ashiya: Golden flames...

Ashiya: The entrance sure is flaming, so how are we supposed to get in?

Justice: Just like this.

Ashiya:  Eh?!

Justice: Don't worry, it only burns if you've got negative intentions toward the Underworld Princess.

Ashiya: You're right... It's not hot.

Page 11

Abeno&Ashiya: !?

Ashiya: Now there are four entrances...

Abeno: Which one do we take?

Justice: For the audience chamber... This time it's the left-most one.

(Ashiya: Mr. Justice... You can let me down, you know?)

(Justice: I'm not gonna...)

Abeno: "This time" means there are more of those crossroads?

Justice: That's right, Itsuki. There's enough branching paths in this place to be a maze.

Ashiya: This time there's three hallways!

Page 12

Abeno: Even if an intruder managed to slip past those flames earlier,

They wouldn't be able to reach the Princess's throne with this kind of layout...

Justice: Some halls have traps set in 'em, too.

Be sure not to get lost.

Justice: ...Hm?

Justice: Ah... damn. Got it wrong...

Ashiya: Wha?!

Abeno: Ah?

Page 13

Foxes: Kon!

Abeno&Ashiya: ......

Abeno: ...Fox spirits?

Ashiya: How cute... (There's three of them...)

Justice: Itsuki. We're gonna run, so get on my back.

Abeno: !

Abeno: You mean... one of the "traps" is...

Fox: Koooon!

Page 14

Ashiya: Woah... Those are some huge hands...

Fox: Konn!!

(Ashiya: Uwaaaah!!)

Page 15

(Ashiya: Uwaaaah!)

Justice: Mmm... They're gonna keep chasing us... What a pain.

Abeno: Justice, we're reading another branched path.

Justice: This time, the way to go is this one.

Justice: Next is over here.

Justice: And then.... this one, I guess?

(Ashiya: Aaaaaahhh!!)

Abeno: !?

Ashiya: Uwah!?

Page 16

Princess: Release them.

Princess: They are not intruders.

Fox: Kon!?

Ashiya: !

Princess: The servants of the throne have treated you roughly.

Princess: Allow me to welcome you, master of the Mononokean, Abeno Haruitsuki, and employees of the Mononokean, Ashiya Hanae and Hairball.

Page 17

[Could this voice be the Underworld Princess...?!]

Fox: Kon.

Ashiya: Wah!

Justice: They did nothing wrong. I ended up picking the wrong hall...

Princess: So that's what it was... How unfortunate.

Princess: Justice. You must be tired from acting as a guide until now.

Princess: Please relax in the antechamber while I finish speaking with the Mononokean.

Justice: Even if you say that, I can't.

While Ashiya-kun is in the Underworld, I gotta watch him.

Unless it's somewhere I can keep an eye on him, then...

Page 18

Princess: I wish to speak with them alone.

Princess: Please, Justice...

Justice: !

Justice: ......

Justice: ...Well, if it's a request from the Princess.

Justice: Please take your time.

Page 19

Abeno: Divinity of the Underworld, Princess Kamo-wakeikazuchi-hime... This is the first time I've made your acquaintance.

Princess: Cough...

Princess: Cough...

Princess: ...I have heard of the Mononokean's activities from the Legislator.

Page 20

Princess: You all are human, however,

The devoted work you do to support demons is worthy of my confidence.

Abeno: Your words are too kind...

Princess: ...And...

About Mioya-hiko...

Abeno&Ashiya: !

Princess: ...How bad is Yahiko's condition?

Abeno: His symptoms are similar to yours, Princess, but he still has a healthy appetite and has enough energy to move around as he likes.

I delivered some of Kiyakudo's medicine to him, so as long as he continues taking it, he should recover soon....

Page 21

Abeno&Ashiya: (As long as he takes it properly everyday...)

Abeno: ...

Ashiya: ...

Yahiko: Ugh?! It's bitter!! And stinks!! It's horrible!! I hate medicine!!

Ashiya: Uwah?! He's spitting it out!?

Abeno: Force it in your mouth again and drink it.

Princess: If so, that's good, but...

Cough...

Princess: Cough,

Cough...

Abeno: Please don't push yourself if your body isn't feeling well...

Princess: (Cough...) I am alright...

I don't have a fever today, so... If the medicine is effective, I'll stop coughing as well...

Page 22

[Her condition does seem better, but

She still seems like a sick person...]

Princess: Cough...

Princess: (Cough..) Inari group one...

Can you retrieve my box of medicine?

Fox: Kon!

Ashiya: (They vanished.)

Abeno: Princess, is Koura absent?

Princess: Cough...

Princess: ...I let her return to Kiyakudo today.

I heard that you were coming to visit the throne...

Ashiya: ...?

[She had the Justice leave, too. It seems like she doesn't want anyone else besides us around...

Just why is that---]

Page 23

Abeno: If there is something you would like to speak about in secrecy, we promise that we shall not to reveal it.

Abeno: Not even to the three officials.

Princess: ...

Cough...

Princess: ...

Princess: .............

Princess: ...Abeno Haruitsuki.

There is something I must ask you.

Page 24

Princess: Do you think that Aoi is alive, even now?

Ashiya: ...!?

Abeno: No.

Princess: ...!?

Page 25

Abeno: Upon being possessed by the parasitic shrub, Aoi was infested by the curse and entered the forest.

Abeno: I don't think there's any possibility that they're still alive.

Princess: ......

Princess: ...That's true...

Abeno: ...It's just that, when thinking about it over and over again...

Abeno: Until their body is found, I would rather gamble on them being alive.

Page 26

Princess: The Legislator told me...

That only when Aoi's remains are confirmed, would you be able to accept it.

Princess: In other words, even now,

Princess: You won't give up on Aoi's survival.

Princess: ...I feel the same as you do.

Princess: There is no way to save demons that have been cursed by the parasitic shrub...

I realize that Aoi has to have passed away that same way.

Page 27

Princess: ...But... Somewhere deep down...

Princess: I cannot help but wish that they are still alive...!!

Princess: I had once prepared myself for their death, to respect that child's will, but...

Without anyone to take the throne if I collapse, I realize the magnitude of what was lost each day...

Princess: Aoi was... cough... a prodigy essential to the Underworld!

(And that child was also...)

(The only friend I could talk to, who didn't treat me as the Underworld Princess.)

Page 28

(Making other demons go into the forests in order to find Aoi,

Would be making them take a mission to risk their lives, with the threat of the curse.)

(...But humans can't be cursed.)

Princess: ....

Princess: I want Aoi to come back...!

Princess: Please, would you go to the forests to look for Aoi?

[prettywordsyouleft]

The Sex Contract - Chapter 9

Genre: friends to lovers au / friends with benefits / mature content / romance / angst

Characters: Shim Changmin x Kaia Ashton (OC)

A/N: Due to the overwhelming request I have followed your encouragement to bring back one of my older stories. This was back in a time where OCs were everything and writing one chapter in each main’s point of view was the trend. I hope that even though I have edited this drastically, that you can appreciate this story comes from my older style of writing. I definitely still read this often and find it enjoyable so I hope you will too.

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 - FINAL

Chapter 9 – Changmin’s POV.

Changmin let Kaia into the apartment and frowned instantly, the scolding he was going to give her for wasting so much time left his mind as soon as he saw her expression. Instead, he grabbed her and led her over to the couch, helping her sit down.

“Is everything okay?”

She nodded distantly but otherwise didn’t reply.

“You don’t seem okay, in fact you look as if you’ve seen a ghost,” he pointed out, poking her arm gently. She didn’t even flinch and Changmin became concerned. Getting up from the couch, he went over to the kitchen and turned on the jug to boil some hot water. Collecting two cups from inside the cupboard he prepared the hot chocolates, in hopes the sugar would brighten her up without the effect of caffeine. He brought the drinks back over to where Kaia sat and placed them down on the coffee table.

The sound seemed to bring her out of her thoughts. “What did you say?”

“Nothing, but I made you a hot chocolate. You should drink it,” Changmin urged and the girl nodded, reaching forward for the cup and just held it. She fell back out of awareness and he wondered what she was overanalysing. He was somewhat an impatient person, and he wanted to help Kaia with her problem instead of wait for her to figure it out.

“Changmin, is it very easy for a person who doesn’t work for an Entertainment company to date an idol?” she eventually asked and he blinked a couple times at her question before shaking his head.

“You should know by now Kai, given you work in Entertainment news that it’s quite hard. It’s why most idols have relationships with each other or the people they work with.” Changmin placed his mug down and scooted closer to the caramel haired girl. “Why, what have you discovered?”

“N-nothing, I just wondered if a relationship like the one I just pointed out could stay off the radar well.”

He contemplated her statement. “Depends on the fame of the star. For someone in a less known position, it could be quite possible. But for someone such as myself, it’s barely possible to have a female friend, let alone date a girl without the whole world knowing. I’m just thankful no one has seen you as a potential partner or this entire agreement would become the most lethal operation in destroying my career.”

“Couldn’t that happen if news comes out about it?” she asked and then stared down at the beverage in her hand. “Could I end your career?”

“Hey,” he said softly, leaning closer to the girl and lightly bumping her so he didn’t spill her drink. “Why are you thinking so seriously, hm? What got you like this? Do you know someone who is dating a famous person now?”

She shook her head. “It mustn’t have been who I thought it was, because like you said, that would be nearly impossible.”

“You’ve sparked my curiosity now. Who exactly did you think you saw?”

“Junsu,” she mentioned and Changmin froze. “I uh, mean the Junsu from two pm of course ha-ha!”

He glanced at the girl who diverted her gaze, taking a gulp of her drink and then squealing because she had burnt her tongue. Changmin couldn’t help but chuckle at the awkward move and pulled Kaia’s head around so he could examine the damage. It didn’t look that bad. He smirked. “You’re so clumsy at times.”

“I didn’t think that through very well,” she agreed and then smiled, seeming to be stepping out of her thoughts. “So uh, I’m guessing you have to get back to work soon. Sorry, I wasted the time.”

“I’m not worried, I kind of miss just hanging out,” he told her honestly and she nodded her head. “I like where we’re at though too, I feel I’ve learnt a lot about you lately.”

“Like?” she wondered and Changmin chuckled again. “Hey, don’t you start teasing me. I came here on my lunch break and haven’t even eaten yet. I even gave up sushi for you.”

“So let’s order sushi then,” he proposed, glancing at his watch and faltering when he saw the time. She was right; Changmin was expected back at work in less than half an hour. He cringed lightly. “Can I order sushi for you?”

“Don’t worry; I’ll just get something on the way back to the office. Though if I’m honest, I don’t feel all that good. Do you have any medication I could take Min?” she asked, rubbing her neck and he eyed the girl with fresh concern, nodding his head and got up.

“Just wait here, I’ll get you some.” He headed into his bedroom and to the en-suite, looking in the cabinet for some medicine. Finding the box he required, Changmin went back out to the living room but frowned when she was nowhere in sight. “Kaia?”

There was no response, and he noticed her bag was still on the counter where she left it. Going over to where he left the girl, Changmin found her sound asleep on the couch. Smiling at her, he looked around before deciding to hoist the girl up. Changmin knew how uncomfortable it was to fall asleep on that couch. She surprisingly didn’t stir awake as he carried her down to his room, gently placing her on the bed and pulling the blankets up over her.

“You must be truly exhausted,” he murmured and stood back to his full height, glancing at his friend and then put the box of medicine on the bedside table. Jotting Kaia a quick note telling her to let herself out when she woke up, Changmin quietly stepped out of the room and headed out back to work.

“And so Minho said to me about some soccer match that he and Donghae, with a few trainees, have planned in two days. I was completely annoyed, of course, they plan things when we’re not in Korea,” Yunho mentioned as they both entered the apartment later that evening, exhausted from practice.

“Why are you complaining, Minho will be coming to Japan whilst we’re there. I’m sure if you time it well you could meet up for something.”

Yunho nodded and then stopped after turning on the lights. “Did Kaia come over today?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Did she forget her bag?” he continued to enquire and Changmin frowned, noting the handbag still in the same place it had been earlier. He stepped around Yunho and headed down to his bedroom, opening the door and stopped in his tracks. Kaia was still in the bed and seemed to be asleep. His breath was caught in his chest as he went over to her side and reached to feel her head. The action was enough to stir her and she opened her eyes, blinking a few times.

“How come you’re still here?” Changmin asked softly, crouching down as Kaia sat up in the bed. She looked around herself and coughed. “Are you ill?”

“My throat hurts a little.”

“Just wait here,” he told her and went down to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. Yunho was in there and looked at Changmin with concern. “She mustn’t have woken up when I left her here. She’s been asleep for at least nine hours now.”

“Sounds like she needed to sleep. Do you need a hand?”

He shook my head and smiled at the man before heading back down to the bedroom. Passing the bottle to Kaia, she drank some of it before coughing again. Changmin offered her the medication and she took it before slumping back down on the bed.

“Changmin-ah,” she said and he glanced at her. “I don’t think I have the energy to move. What time is it?”

“Eleven.”

“Ugh, okay.” She hung her head and then tried to heave herself to the side of the bed. Changmin gently stopped her.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

She looked at him tiredly. “Home. I don’t want to make you sick.”

“Well, you’ve already slept in my bed so I’m pretty sure I’ll catch it regardless. Though I am really fit so don’t worry about me, I’m more concerned about you. Which means you’re not leaving.”

“But-”

He shook his head firmly. “I have to wake up at three anyway to fly to Japan early. So don’t worry too much. Do you need me to help you to the bathroom?”

“Yes please,” she said and resigned herself to his aid. Changmin helped her in so she could use the room and then took her back to bed, assisting her in removing her jacket and pants so she was more comfortable. He then took off his own unneeded layers and flicked off the light, climbing onto the bed and snuggling into his pillows.

Everything was silent for a moment and he glanced over his shoulder at Kaia, the girl staring up at the ceiling. He chuckled and turned to face her. “Problem?”

“We haven’t exactly shared a bed on purpose yet,” she announced and he laughed again at her worries. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“We fell asleep after playing Fifa that one time at five in the morning, how is this any different? Besides, I’ve had more than enough sex with you now to not need to make a move. Sleep well Kai, I’ll see you if you wake up when I do.”

“I guess you’re right, night Min.” She sighed and then nestled into the pillow, closing her eyes and instantly drifting off.

Changmin found himself cat napping like he usually did when he knew the alarm was set for an odd time, and every time he woke up, he looked over at Kaia sleeping to make sure she was okay. It was a different experience and he enjoyed it, wondering if he would have felt any more satisfied than he did now, had they enjoyed some intimacy together before his trip to Japan. It made him realise that whilst he liked the arrangement a great deal, there definitely needed to be some changes when he got back home.

But for now, Changmin enjoyed the idea of sharing his bed with his best friend. Though he couldn’t put his finger on the reason, he knew he would miss her a great deal whilst in Japan this time.

_________________

Part 10

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

[TVXQ Masterlist] | [Main Masterlist] | [Request Guidelines]

[acid-eater]

LOGH 100 Question Meme

Under the cut bc this is huge

1) How did you get into LOGH? 

It was back in 98 when I used to “work” with some friends fansubbing anime in a home studio. One day one of my friends, who used to go to japan a lot because his family was living there as dekasegi, brought some episodes of logh (half of the 1st season) telling us that we should start subbing it because it was “the best space opera ever to exist”. We found the script on the internet and watched it. It was awesome, but we never subbed it because we were too lazy.

2) What did you watch/read from LOGH?  I haven’t watched Golden Wings 

3) Which one did you get started with? the first of the 110 episodes

4) What do you plan to watch/read from LOGH in the future? hmm nothing I guess

5) What books do you own from LOGH? Yoshiki Tanaka‘s novels

6)What video support do you own from LOGH? 720p and old 480p

7)What LOGH videogames do you own? Physical copy none, but I have all pc88 and pc98 games (only to take screenshots because I can’t play them in japanese haha)

8)What’s your favorite LOGH videogame? n/a

9)What goods from LOGH do you own (toys, clothes, etc.) this is everything logh related I own

(thanks to my favorite girls hisohiso and karisomeotome)

10)If you could wish for a LOGH good that doesn’t exist yet, what would that be? idk, an audiobook, maybe? 

11)Do you own LOGH models? Nope

12)Did you ever thought “OH MY GOD I AM A LOGH FREAK”? Nope

13)Did you ever sang a LOGH song in a karaoke? No, I’ve never been to a karaoke x_x

14)What is your favorite season of the show? 2

15)And your less favorite? Maybe 1? x_x Idk...

16)What is your favorite episode and/or movie? episode 54

17)Favorite scene or event? Reinhard and Yang Wenli meeting

18)Favorite battle? Vermillion! (see? 2nd season is the best) but also Shiva

19)Less favorite scene or event? 3 terrible scenes involving: kircheis, yang wenli and reuenthal 

20)Favorite song? I love Hikaru no Hashi wo Koete and Sea of the Stars

21)Favorite sountrack? Mahler’s Symphony No 2, “Resurrection”. Mostly because of episode 98 ;____;

22)Favorite quote? “Information is a living organism - with a short lifespan.” Yang the Wenli on Spiral Labyrinth and “The people have democratic principles on their lips, but cannot spare the effort to safeguard them! The collapse of a government is the sin of its rulers and leaders. The collapse of democratic rule is the sin of every citizen.” Bucock - The man, the legend   

23)Who would you have sided with if you had a choice? The solitary and hopeless struggle of Jessica Edwards

24)Where would you live? In Heinessenpolis

25)What job/function would you have had? an irrelevant one

26)Which character is the most alike to you? I have NO idea 

27)Which character would you like to be like? Ugh... Bucock, maybe.

28)Who is your favorite character? Miracle Yang

29)Which character were you impressed by the most? Reuenthal

30)Your OTP…? Mitts & Reuenthal

31)…and NOTP? all the hetero u_u

32)Who is the perfect, ideal couple? Reinhardo-sama and Kircheis 

33)Less favorite character? Every fuckin Phezzani (except for Boris Konev) 

34)Who is the sassiest man in the galaxy? Dusty or Schenkopp

35)Who is the smartest character? Oberstein

36)And the sexiest? Reuenthal 

37)Who has the best strategy? Yang Wenli

38)Who has the best strategy from the opposite side? Reinhard

39)Who has the worst strategy?  Braunschweig is really incompetent 

40)Who is the most evil? The whole Terraist Church and of course the Phezzani behind it

41)Who is the most honest? Kircheis and Mittermeyer

42)Which character can’t be ignored yet not your favorite one? Cazellnu

43)WHO IS GALAXY’S GREATEST HERO? maybe kesler, maybe mitts

44)Favorite ship (as in spaceship not your OTP again)? Barbarossa

45)Favorite planet? Heinessen

46)Who are, gradually, the five best officers from the Alliance? Bucock, Yang, Julian, Schenkopp, Dusty

47)And from the Empire? Reuenthal, Muller, Kessler,Mitts, Oberstein

48)Who would you like to have as your subordinate? Julian

49)Who would you like to have as your superior? Yang or Bucock or Merkatz

50)Who would you hate to have as your superior? Reinhard u_u

WOW!! Halfway through, here’s a cookie!!

51)Who would you hate to have as your subordinate? Poplan

52)Who would you like to have as your opponent? Reinhard

53)Who would you hate to have as your opponent? Yang

54)If you could befriend a character, who would that be? Mittermeyer

55)Which character would you have a talk with? Mittermeyer

56)If you could be one of the characters for one day, who would it be and when? One of Cazellnu daughters 

57)Which character could you fall in love with? Reuenthal

58)Which character do you want to treat badly? Reuenthal lol

59)Which character would you have liked to live? Kircheis (end of the anime) and Yang

60)Which character do you wish to see dead (earlier)? Rubinsky

61)What death affected you the most? 3: kircheis, yang and reuenthal

62)What death did you celebrate? Rubinsky

63)What death is the most heroical? Bucock

64)What death is the silliest? Andrew Fork

65)Who is right of Yang and Reinhard? Yang

66)Between the Trunicht Government and the Goldenbaum Government, which would you choose? Revolution!!!!

67)If you were in Yang’s position, how would you have reacted to the Greenhill Coup d’Etat?  The NSMC was a mistake and it would obviously destroy itself, Yang did well in putting that guy (I forgot his name) to talk publicly denouncing that the coup was supported by the Empire, but he took so long to actually attack them somehow.

68)Who used the best technique to destroy the Artemis necklackle, Kircheis or Yang? Yang

69) Would you have killed Reinhard in Vermillion if you were in Yang’s position? Without a doubt

70)Who would you have sided with in Merkatz place? He did the right thing, I would do the same.

71)If it were you instead of Yang, would you have sided with Reinhard after the battle of Vermillion? No. Impossible.

72)Do you prefer Oberstein or Bittenfeld? Tough one... Bittenfeld, probably 

73)Were you sad about Oberstein’s death? More than I expected tbh

74)If you could choose to marry either Frederica or Hilda, who would it be? Frederica, for sure.

75)Who do you think Julian slept with? Mashengo (my otp)

76)In your humble opinion, how many times did Reinhard and Hilda did “the thing”? lol just once and she probably didn't even cum

77)Do you think Reinhard was poisoned? Some questions are better left unanswered 

78)Do you prefer the books, the anime or the manga (or the remake :B)? Anime

79)Do you like Golden Wings/Ougon no Tsubasa? haven’t seen

79)Do you wish the OVA looked like GW/OnT? Noooo

80)Do you like other works from Yoshiki Tanaka? I don’t know any other

81)Do you like other works from Noboru Ishiguro? Of course! Especially Macross, Megazone and Yamato. 

82)Who is your favorite seiyuu? I don’t have one.

83)Who would you like to see in your own language dubcast? huh no one

84)Who is your favorite classical music composer from the soundtrack? Gustav Mahler

85)If there was a LOGH live action movie, who would you like to see in the cast? Please, no.

86)Do you have friends you can share your love for LOGH with? YES!

87)Are you a LOGH proselyte and try to get new people into it? All the time (it never works tho)

88)What is the message from LOGH you will remember? obviously “In every time, in every place, the deeds of men remain the same.”

89)What did you like in LOGH? A LOT of things. I liked the writing, the fact that the story is thought and presented as if it were historical data, is really believable most of the time. I like the characters, aesthetically speaking, their design are so varied and unique I could pretty much imagine how they would look like as real people. On a psychological level as well, their variety and depth is amazing and I mention this show as an example on how the best stories are those where both the plot and the characters are awesome.

90)What did you hate in LOGH? That it had to end

91)What do you think of democracy as depicted in LOGH? Democracy is not something that should be taken for granted and LOGH has the best way to remind us about it.

92)What do you think of autocracy as depicted in LOGH? Obviously depicted in a positive way but doesn’t neglect to highlight the limits of this system as well, with Reinhard’s statement that Alec should not reign were he unfitting for the task and him agreeing to give the Empire a constitution.

93)Did LOGH changed your views about politics or history? Not really, it just reassured things I’ve already known and presented they 

94)How did you feel after finishing episode 110?  Ewige Wiederkunft

95)How would you describe LOGH in few words? A modern definition of an Epic.

96)What do you expect from LOGH in the future? Nothing

97)Do you casually read LOGH fanfiction? No

98)Do you casually write LOGH fanficition? Nope

99)Do you casually draw LOGH-related art? No D:

100)Any last words? 

Because I said too many NOs in the last questions.

Congratulations! You did it! A true galactic hero!

Don’t forget to tag your post with #logh100questions so I we can read your answers (and send you the official Galactic Hero Medal (made of fine Swiss chocolate ;D)

[Translated from the original french meme from this forum:http://www.cosmic-era.com/forum/][Some questions were replaced because of reasons]

BLANK MEME here

[jokertrap-ran]

BAD MEDICINE ~Infectious teachers~ [PC GAME] Tojo Kairi (Art) Route Translations (Part 10)

MC’s name is retained as the original MC name Kawana Hina.

* Words within ‘   ‘ are spoken in English – *Spoiler free : Translations under cut!

Prologue / Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4/ Part 5 / Part 6/ Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17 / Part 18 / Doll END / Good END / Bad END / True END / Ruin END

Choice B: Go attend lessons

Hina: (I’ve been undertaking lessons on a daily basis but…)

Hina: (I’m honestly not getting any better.)

Tojo: 1,2,3...1,2,3...

Tojo: ...Hm, that was my leg you stepped on yet again. How many times does that make this?

Tojo: Really...

Hina: I apologize...

Hina: (I’ve done nothing but to inconvenience him.)

Tojo: I’m not angry so don’t feel down just because of it.

Hina: ...You’re not angry at me?

Tojo: Of course I'm not. Why, do you doubt me?

Hina: Yes…? Because I've not been making any progress at all.

Tojo: But you're putting in the effort, aren't you? I can see your efforts are least.

Tojo: Now, once more. If I may have your hand, dear princess of mine…

Tojo: Don't just concentrate solely on your feet.

Tojo: I don't want you to step on my foot but at the same time, don't be afraid to do so.

Tojo: Ouch! ...And you did it right after I said so.

Hina: S-Sorry!

Tojo: Haa...

Hina: I'm really sorry about that...

Tojo: I'm not exactly angry at you.

Tojo: I've polished my skill at keeping my patience from wearing thin ever since I started having these dance lessons with you.

Hina: Ugh...

Tojo: But your dancing skills, or lack thereof... That was admittedly a great miscalculation on my part.

Hina: (It's just as he says, I have utterly no talent when it comes to dancing…)

Hina: (Haa...This is disappointing.)

Tojo: ...Ahh, forgive me for I have said too much. Now, again.

Hina: (I have to try my hardest to do this right this time!)

Tojo: 1,2,3...1,2,3...

Tojo: Hehe… Is this because I said that you lacked talent? Seems like you've finally gotten serious about this.

Tojo: You're doing great. Now, just match yourself to my rhythm…

Hina: Right...

Tojo: You’re doing brilliantly.

Hina: (Huh? I feel as if he’s closer to me than before...)

Hina: (I don’t think I’m imagining it?)

Tojo: ...What’s wrong? You’ve become quite fidgety.

Hina: Umm...Right… Aren’t you a little too...Close?

Tojo: My, my… Are you feeling all hot and bothered? A little too late for that, aren’t we?

Tojo: It’s only natural for us to be in close proximity with each other if we’re doing ballroom dancing.

Tojo: How about you just get used to it?

Hina: Ugh.

Tojo: You’ll mess up the step sequence if you don’t keep your calm around me.

Tojo: ...Come closer to me.

Tojo: Stop trying to move away from me. Do you even intend to remember the dance?

Hina: Of course!

Tojo: Then do show me your dance of perfection. Obviously, without losing your cool.

Hina: Right...

Tojo: 1,2,3...

Tojo: Fufu, you’re putting too much strength into your shoulders now. Relax…

Tojo: You should place more trust into your partner and entrust your body to them.

Hina: …...

Tojo: Now follow along with my pace.

Hina: ...Haa...Haa...

Hina: (I didn't know that dancing actually takes this much endurance!)

Hina: (I'm already drenched in sweat…)

Tojo: ... What's the matter? You're quite short on breath.

Hina: I apologize...

Tojo: Are you tired?

Tojo: We can't proceed on if you're drained so let's take a short break here.

Tojo: We'll continue once you have caught your breath.

Hina: Spartan...

Tojo: --Spartan? I'm sorry, were you referring to me?

Tojo: I don't really understand why you'd refer to me as such.

Tojo: Who do you think I'm holding these lessons for?

Tojo: It's your fault for being so forgetful, if anything. You should hurry and improve if you really do hate undertaking these lessons so much.

Hina: Yes...

Tojo: ...Even I'll be at a loss if you suddenly act all meek like that.

Tojo: Ahh, look at your hair...It got all messed up.

Hina: (Ah, it really is a mess.)

Tojo: It's the only part of yourself that you can take pride in so you have to take proper care of it.

Hina: (The only, he says.)

Tojo: Fufu, perhaps I should not have put it in such crude terms?

Hina: No, not at all.

Tojo: It's a fact that your hair's truly exquisite. So exquisite that even I feel like running my fingers through it...

Hina: Eh?

Tojo: No, it's nothing you should concern yourself with.

Hina: But I think that your hair is much more beautiful than mine…

Tojo: Of course, that much is obvious. Not just my hair, I take painstaking efforts to care for the other parts of my body as well.

Tojo: That's because I wish to be ethereal. Something that perhaps, you could learn from me.

Tojo: Now then, let's continue with the lesson.

Hina: What!? Already? I'm still not.

Tojo: No can't do. You've already taken your break, no?

Tojo: I can't cut you anymore slack. Come on, hurry and take my hand.

Hina: Yes...

Tojo: Let's do our best for just a little longer. I’m even seeing you through this so you should be thankful for my being here.

Hina: I don’t think I can thank you enough for all this.

Tojo: ...It’s not like I want you to thank me.

Tojo: I didn’t do it to earn your thanks. It’s simply something like a duty of mine.

Tojo: Plus, I’m only here with you everyday because there’s no other way to do this.

Tojo: I can’t exactly put you out before the public in your current state as our school’s representative.

Tojo: My pride would never forgive myself if I did that.

Hina: (He’s not wrong…)

Tojo: Cease the useless banter. 1,2,3...

Hina: (Whoa there, that was close…)

Tojo: You almost stepped on my feet again… Do be careful to keep your feet to yourself.

Hina: Yes...

Tojo: Right. I have to applaud you for your footwork, it wasn’t all that bad.

Tojo: It was way better than before, in fact.

Hina: (I feel relieved now that I’ve made improvement worthy of his praise.)

Tojo: Fufu...Let’s keep going on at this pace.

Tojo: Next will be a turn.

Tojo: Well done. You weren’t all that bad.

Tojo: I think you’ll manage to get by the friendship party one way or another if you carry on at this pace.

Tojo: Although, I’d prefer to see something near perfection when it comes to the day of truth...

Hina: I’ll work hard on my own practices too!

Hina: (Ughh...I’m exhausted. My body feels so heavy.)

Tojo: Are you that worn out? There doesn’t seem to be any strength left in your step.

Hina: I am, actually...

Tojo: How about we end off here for today?

Hina: Eh? But...

Tojo: You’ve been working hard every day and I do plan to be understanding.

Tojo: I’m just saying that I force you to push yourself unnecessarily.

Hina: (Tojo-sensei…)

Tojo: I understand how worn out you are so you should just head home for the day.

Hina: Alright.

Hina: Thank you for taking all the effort to teach me even though I’ve not really been making any progress.

Tojo: I thought I told you earlier that I didn’t want your thanks?

Hina: I just wanted to say it...

Tojo: Are you trying to nose your way up to my good side?

Hina: Of course I’m not!

Tojo: Pft- Well, let’s leave it at that. I’ll accept your gratitude.

Tojo: Although I’ll be happier if you showed me un-failable results of your efforts instead.

Hina: ...Ugh...I’ll do my best.

Tojo: I’ll be expecting things of you.

Hina: (It’s tough...But I have to step up my efforts.)

Hina: (Only till the friendship party is over, at least…)

Hina: What should I do?

Choice A: Go tend to the Blue Rose Garden Choice B: Go attend lessons

[burn-your-face-upon-the-chrome]

My Writing Schedule For Nov - Dec

Heads up, this gets kinda lengthy because I over explain everything. What I'm vomiting onto this blog will pertain heavily to my dumpster fire of a fan fiction series which centers around Slit the Trash Lizard and his Scavenger Country friends. Yes, he's paired with and OC in it. Am I ashamed? No. Are we delving into why I'm not ashamed? Also no, we don't have time for that, because that's what I'm here to talk about today. Time.

I have incredibly poor time management skills when it comes to anything I'm not being paid to do. Essentially, what I want to do today is lay out a two-month plan for the About a Lizard series and squeeze into the following twelve months time for other fiction endeavors which include two original stories, a fanwork in the Aliens versus Predator universe, and a crossover with I'mRobin on AO3.

Normally, I post vague updates on the progress of the next chapter in the top notes of my submissions on AO3, I haven't been doing that because lately, my head is in ten different places at once.

The plan for AAL is to take all of the notes and information about loosely planned chapters for the current installment of the story (We can call it book two) and break down those chapters further by summarizing individual scenes within them. I already do this but I only do it one chapter at a time as I work, and then I tend to abandon a fully summarized chapter for weeks on end while I putter around procrastinating.

When I write these summaries, they generally contain a list of concepts that need to be addressed at a precise point in time along with character actions and an idea of the content of dialog between the characters. For an example of what this actually looks like in a summary: “Dune needs to lament about the potatoes she was trying to grow and how more than a month without steady watering has probably killed the spuds. Maybe have her dig around in the pots (old tires) to check for survivors.”  

It's basic stuff and the above line of quoted text is the substance of an entire small scene. Many of these summaries are much longer but even these tiny ones are incredibly helpful. They help to keep me on track with where I want a chapter to go, what I want it to cover, and it helps me to enforce self-control in keeping from wandering off in my head and indulging in unnecessary info-dumpery. Once this small scene is finished, I know exactly where I need to shift my attention because I already have that information at my disposal in the next summarized scene.

Knowing where you're going helps more than you think. I know the trajectory of the story as a whole, but getting from point A to point B within individual chapters is easier said than done. As an example: If you're writing a story about a girl named Jane who finds a magical singing rock in the woods, but you need her to travel across a country to find a wizard to explain the significance of the singing rock, then you need to have something happen during that journey. If this journey is to be concise enough to fit into a single chapter, you'll need minor conflict and resolution within that chapter, and it can be as extreme or subtle as you want, but it still has to exist and that requires thought and planning. Alternatively, you can take that cross-country trip that Jane goes on and turn it into the flesh of an entire story, where the journey itself is the story, not so much whatever is going on with the singing rock. I'm trying to avoid letting the minor plot interfere with the primary plot. Using Jane and the Rock as a euphemism for minor plot sequences: I want these “trips to find the wizard” to be consistently contained within one chapter without becoming arcs of their own which would interfere with the primary plot.

Phew! Now that you know what I mean by summarized chapters and scenes, and have probably realized that I am completely out of my mind, I can get to the point of this. I'd like to summarize scenes for all thirty-three planned chapters of “The Road to Nowhere” as soon as possible. Why would I want to do all of this work when I could simply be flat out writing? Because if I do this and get the bulk of the planning out of the way, I will ultimately be producing chapters at a far faster clip. If every chapter consists of between seven and ten scenes and I can flesh out one scene per day, that means I could publish one chapter approximately every ten days versus one chapter every month or several months. This better executed organization process would see the fic finished in a little under a year. I don't want to do the math and find out what that time-frame looks like if I continue on at my current pace. It probably looks something like six years, UGH!

Organization matters and at the moment, I don't have it. I can probably summarize the whole dang fic scene-by-scene within a couple weeks if I really apply myself to it. I may get only small way into this process before I say “Screw this!” and continue work chapter by chapter as a good little fic pigeon, but even if I only plan out three or four chapters at a time, I'm still coming out way ahead of the game. That's important to me. So, that is what is going on with the About a Lizard thingy. The following is a bullet point of dates and plans for November - December regarding About a Lizard and other projects

The next piece of writing I'm likely to crank out is an update chapter for the crossover titled Unlikely which I am working on with ImRobin over on AO3. I would like to publish this by the 15th of November at the very latest but I’ll probably be able to manage it far earlier. It is incredibly well structured because two people are working closely to hack out dialog and actions for each character to prevent out of character sequences and to give both parties as much creative control as possible in each chapter. It should not take long if I can sit for a few hours without interruption to work on it.

Chapter 4 of The Road To Nowhere is already started and I'm slowly scratching out the first draft scene by scene when I feel like writing. That will probably pop up on AO3 shortly after my half of the update on Unlikely, so expect it by the 17th at the very latest.

Once chapter 4 of The Road to Nowhere pops up on AO3, I will be summarizing and planning the rest of the chapters as much as I can with the goal to plan all scenes for all thirty-three (or more) chapters by mid-December. Once this is done, I'll be able to focus effort in a more meaningful way and lay the foundation for a routine where I flesh out one scene per day and hopefully begin submitting a chapter every ten to fifteen days instead of every month or two.

Chapter 5 of The Road to Nowhere should appear by the end of December.

If I can get this rhythm to work, I may take periodic breaks every five chapters to do work on a few original short stories I've had in my head for years but not enough organizational skill or confidence to execute. These may turn up on AO3 as well.

In short, to my best knowledge, updates will appear in the following order. Keep in mind personal schedules prevent me from knowing exact dates when future Unlikely chapters will get written.

11/13/18 – 11/15/18: Unlikely will update

11/16/18 – 11/17/18: The Road to Nowhere will update

11/17/18 – 12/15/18: I will be working solely on summarizing scenes for TRTN & Unlikely

12/25/18 – 12/30/18: The Road to Nowhere will resume with the submission of chapter 5

All chapters of The Road to Nowhere thereafter will be scheduled for submission within ten to fifteen days of each other.

[verdigrisprowl]

Apr 16 Dancitron Movie Night - Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home

Whales.

The robots did not appreciate half the humor in this movie.

Today Specs 7:39 pm *here comes a dragon! she has many treats with her today- including a wrapped package of glitchmice-shaped energon and tinsel cookies that she will attempt to discreetly slide to Ravage. She does try to remember these things.* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:41 pm *Ravage quickly snaps up the package and hurries over to the bar to hide it.*

[[Good evening, dragon. We have acquired more treats for you as well. They are dead, unfortunately, but he could not risk them infesting his home.]]

*He'll slide a bowl of big alien beetles to her. Each one's about the size of a human fist.* Prowl 7:42 pm *arrives and takes her seat at the table by the door. she may also be listening to the 'singing' with interest* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:43 pm [[Good evening, Prowl. Fuel, not at three times the usual payment?]] Smokescreen 7:43 pm /Smokescreen's coming in, and is going to try to swipe some drinks and snacks before sitting next to Prowl!/ ItsyBitsySpyers 7:43 pm =Hmph.= Prowl 7:43 pm *coughs into her fist* That would be appreciated. Specs 7:44 pm Thank you, Soundwave! *they may be dead, but she's still delighted. she grabs one immediately and starts tearing the legs off to eat* They're very good! *well. they're dead beetles. but it's the thought that counts, and they're crunchy enough to make up for being a little mealy in flavor.* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:44 pm *He'll handle that then - and nudge Smokescreen a little to one side with a feeler when he gets in the way.* Smokescreen 7:44 pm /He's making a move to nudge Soundwave back, but does make some room!/ Prowl 7:45 pm Hello, Smokescreen. *she's started recognizing him by sound and now she's got her visor activated so she'll have him pinned by energy signature as well* Smokescreen 7:46 pm !! /Excited waving at Prowl/ Hey Prowl! How's your week been going? Prowl 7:48 pm Fine. Your week? Smokescreen 7:49 pm It's- it's been better, but it's also been worse. I'm trying to get some more stuff planned for my Cybertron! I think I can get Knock Out interested in helping make a bath house, and I'm starting to look into what we'd need for a theater. Smokescreen 7:49 pm ... I should probably tell Megs about that later. Prowl 7:53 pm *Prowl doesn't care much about the bathhouse, but...* Outdoor theatres have traditionally done better on Cybertron due to their ability to allow for seating any size-class. Acoustics would need to be considered. How big of a stage you'll need depends on the size of the performers. *pointedly ignores the comment about Megatron* ItsyBitsySpyers 7:55 pm ((ten minutes before stream starts grab ur food now)) Tarantulas 7:55 pm *is early for once! gonna slide over to give smokey some helm pets since vprowl's not here yet* *not verbally gonna interrupt tho* Smokescreen 7:56 pm That's true! I was thinking indoor theater might be easier with acoustics, but then you get the whole issue of making sure everything is sized right- I think outdoor might be the way to go! There's a smaller theater in these crystal gardens I designed, but it's not really meant for large crowds. Specs 7:56 pm *since tara's not a beetle, it definitely won't be awkward for him to observe the predatory dismemberment and devouring of these snacks. she'll give him a friendly wave. smartest spide she knows, coming through!* Smokescreen 7:57 pm /Surprised beep at the helm pats, reaching to pet Tarantulas back in excitement. He missed Messy!/ Tarantulas 7:57 pm *honestly tara finds the chowing-down rather adorable - specs gets a shiny visor smile as he passes* Prowl 7:59 pm Outdoor acoustics are actually quite simple. There was a theatre in Praxus... you could hear a whisper from even the farthest seats. Tarantulas 8:00 pm *oh! and yeah, a greeting ping to sw* Smokescreen 8:00 pm I think I remember the kinda theater you mean! I only got to be there once or twice, but it was pretty intense, right? I wish I had the actual plans for it, though... Prowl 8:02 pm I'm certain I can find something about the one we had. I intend to have it rebuilt in my own universe. It certainly couldn't hurt to have another somewhere else. Smokescreen 8:04 pm You should! That'd be really awesome to see- and I can help you when you start building yours! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:04 pm *Soundwave nods to those who have come in, and returns the greeting ping. It looks like a relatively quiet night. So be it - he could use the break.* Prowl 8:05 pm *Tara gives off the most interesting readings on Prowl's visors. Different enough, she's momentarily distracted by trying to parse what they're saying about his energy... oh right, Smokescreen* Yes, of course. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:05 pm ((WARNINGS: Speciesism?, ableist slur, swearing, horrifying animal footage)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:06 pm *Soundwave parks himself on his couch, stretches one arm across the back, and leaves the other hand on a leg.*

[[We continue Spock's journey tonight.]] Smokescreen 8:07 pm This series is basically Sponk's Adventure, right? VProwl 8:07 pm *appears, just barely in time.* How much did I miss? Prowl 8:07 pm Nothing yet. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:07 pm [[None. It is just beginning. Do sit?]] [[And one could see it that way, yes.]] VProwl 8:07 pm Ah. Good. *and there's the title, even! He sits.* Smokescreen 8:07 pm ... /Smokescreen's hugging Tarantulas tightly- since he's sure Messy's going to leave to go over there./ Tarantulas 8:07 pm *returns the hug! then pings smokey a greeting/promise to check in, pets his helm one last time, and makes his way to his usual couch to settle in* VProwl 8:07 pm Sorry I'm... Well. I guess I'm NOT late, but. Tarantulas 8:08 pm You're later than I am, which usually tends to mean 'fairly late'. Smokescreen 8:09 pm /He's turning back towards Roundprowl, mainly to make a point of not looking in the direction of Tarantulas or Boxyprowl./ If there's ever anything I can do to help, just lemme know! VProwl 8:09 pm I guess I'm late, then. Sorry. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:09 pm [[He'll forgive you.]] Soft huff. Nod to Tarantulas. Welcome to the Couch. Prowl 8:09 pm We weren't waiting long. Tarantulas 8:10 pm Shhshh. *nuzzles prowl as they settle in, will he allow arms around his back?* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:12 pm [[You demand much for one with their story wrong.]] VProwl 8:14 pm *he'll start violently at the arms behind his back. once he sees who it is, though, he settles back against them, with yet another mumbled apology.* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:14 pm *Concern ping. Okay there?* VProwl 8:16 pm @S «... Haven't been sleeping well. Took a nap before the show. Didn't sleep well.» Smokescreen 8:17 pm he'd give his life, not for honor but for- kirk? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:17 pm @P: [[You as well, then.]] Tiny pause. [[You are welcome to stay tonight. He would - he'd prefer that, himself. ... You may stay other days as well, if it would help.]] Swoop 8:18 pm ((ooc swoop still. don't mind me)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:18 pm ((np! enjoy the whales 😀)) Swoop 8:18 pm ((love this movie <3 )) Prowl 8:18 pm ((ooc swoop <3 Swoop 8:19 pm ((he is still a potato)) ((a wiggly potato)) ((a crinkle cut french fry)) Prowl 8:19 pm ((poor baby Swoop 8:20 pm ((he's getting his momentum again)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:20 pm @P: [[Or if there is anything else you require. He will offer it.]] It was his fault they all went into that... event. Swoop 8:20 pm ((y'all are lucky he doesn't get offended easy or everyone really enjoying quiet time would hurt his feelings)) Smokescreen 8:22 pm There's the Alpha Trion soundalike! ItsyBitsySpyers 8:22 pm [[The human is far less irritating.]] Prowl 8:23 pm Significantly so. Smokescreen 8:23 pm Well- maybe, but I never got to be friends with this human. VProwl 8:23 pm @S «I'd... like the company. Although I apologize if I wake you.» *he'd been sleeping with the Constructicons; it wasn't enough, so somehow he doubted adding Soundwave would be much more help either. But it was worth trying.* @S «... You've been through this more than me. What do /you/ need?» Smokescreen 8:24 pm ((i'm just imagining everyone sleeping on top of prowl)) Tarantulas 8:24 pm (( constructipile VProwl 8:24 pm ((everyone except long haul, the mattress)) Smokescreen 8:25 pm ((It's easier to sleep if you can't move right)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:25 pm ((i love this conversation)) Specs 8:26 pm ((mccoy blease)) VProwl 8:27 pm ((why are the subtitles lagging so much ugh)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:28 pm ((i'm sorry)) Specs 8:28 pm ((cri)) Magnum Ace 8:28 pm ((give me a sec, com went stupid Swoop 8:28 pm ((cro you need to establish your subtitle dominance over this thing)) Prowl 8:29 pm This is the same style of music as earlier. Tarantulas 8:31 pm *amused hum* Smokescreen 8:31 pm Sounds usually picks these songs for a reason. ... Wait, are whales really a thing? Prowl 8:33 pm I don't know. I've never been to Earth. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:33 pm @P: [[So does he.]] They could sit there being sleepless together. Better than being the only one awake in a building filled with those who weren't. [[He - does not know what he needs. He WANTS to... to leave, for a while. To be somewhere safe, where nobody fears - that.]] There's something weakly humorous to the next part, but it feels more desperate than funny. [[Perhaps to travel back in time. Erase... things.]]

[[He can't do any of that. Sleep is all there is.]] Tarantulas 8:33 pm *snort* Yes, yes they are. I modeled a Chimeracon design after one. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:33 pm [[...How large was that mech?]] Tarantulas 8:34 pm /Very./ Hyeheh. Blaster 8:34 pm ((sheesh VProwl 8:34 pm @S «Would a vacation help?» Prowl 8:34 pm *thanks Kirk for answering Prowl's question about how big these whales were* Blaster 8:34 pm ((bwah Smokescreen 8:34 pm I've been to Earth, but it's not like I've been in the ocean to check... ItsyBitsySpyers 8:34 pm @P: [[If he could take one.]] Blaster 8:35 pm ((oh, that one made it through ItsyBitsySpyers 8:35 pm ((hello hello)) Blaster 8:35 pm ((hiiii VProwl 8:35 pm @S «Of course you can take one. Cybertron won't fall apart in the time you're gone.» Specs 8:37 pm *well this looks absolutely terrifying. the dragon's just gonna put her tail over her eyes* Blaster 8:38 pm ((going to change muses, okay? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:39 pm @P: [[He will miss too much. And it would be unfair to leave you behind.]] *Soundwave stretches out a feeler to gently pat the dragon.*

((okiedokie)) VProwl 8:39 pm @S «You will not and no it won't. Everything will be recorded and you can download it when you get back. Take a vacation.» Specs 8:39 pm *and the dragon peeks out from under her tail. the Comfort has been accepted* Smokescreen 8:40 pm can someone nightcore this Omicron 8:42 pm *big predacon comes in, with a new hatchling on her back, looks around* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:42 pm *Uncertain shifting. Why wouldn't it be unfair? To take a vacation from what happened and leave one of the other parties to carry on their usual stressful duties, without the ability to speak to anyone else who'd been there? While they were having problems of their own?*

*But Prowl said it wouldn't. And he can't lie.*

*It still doesn't sound right.*

@P: [[He will... consider it.]] Blaster 8:42 pm ((okay, I'm good ItsyBitsySpyers 8:42 pm [[Nightcore?]] Specs 8:43 pm *chirps at Icy! forgive her for not flying over immediately, she is cronching on bugs* Smokescreen 8:43 pm ... Wait, you don't know what nightcore is, Sounds? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:43 pm [[How clever.]] VProwl 8:43 pm @S «I suggest you start by considering when, exactly, you're going to take it.» Omicron 8:44 pm *chirps back, its okay, nom away! finds a place to lay down* VProwl 8:44 pm ... Is that really all a Vulcan needs to do to look completely human? Blaster 8:44 pm -showing up really late here- Omicron 8:44 pm *was late too* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:44 pm *...Small nod. It's hard to keep arguing when Prowl sounds as serious as that.*

[[Facially.]] [[Good evening, Ice Queen. Blaster.]] Blaster 8:45 pm Hello, Soundwave VProwl 8:45 pm I mean—I always thought the only visual difference between them was the ears—but I assumed that was just because most organics with that body type look the same to me. I didn't think they actually looked that similar to /each other./ Omicron 8:45 pm good evening Soundwave... Racer couldn't make it this time VProwl 8:45 pm Is he alright? Specs 8:46 pm What happened? He isn't ill, is he? Prowl 8:46 pm Racer? Swoop 8:46 pm ((this movie is beautiful)) Smokescreen 8:46 pm d... double dumbass?? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:46 pm [[Bajorans resemble humans with badly, badly broken noses. The other differences are hidden elsewhere.]]

[[Is he well?]] Tarantulas 8:46 pm (( the MUSIC Smokescreen 8:46 pm I gotta use that sometime VProwl 8:46 pm ((four buttcheeks)) Smokescreen 8:46 pm /Also, he's going to send Soundwave some examples of nightcore!/ Omicron 8:47 pm he's growing again, not exactly ill Tarantulas 8:47 pm Growing? *immediately interested* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:47 pm *Soundwave will review them after the movie. He means to keep his focus on the few humans (and one Vulcan) he likes. And these whale creatures.* Smokescreen 8:47 pm ... Is that a lot? Blaster 8:48 pm ....what just happened? Smokescreen 8:48 pm Man- I wanna try time travelling sometime ItsyBitsySpyers 8:48 pm ((what... about... the bus)) Smokescreen 8:48 pm ((asdvndsfnm I WAS THINNKIG OF THAT Blaster 8:49 pm ((they blind as hell Smokescreen 8:49 pm sdvbnadsmbxcvbn Omicron 8:49 pm pfffttt VProwl 8:49 pm ((wessels)) Smokescreen 8:49 pm oh nooo Blaster 8:49 pm This is supposed to be stealth? Omicron 8:50 pm I think? Smokescreen 8:50 pm I don't think they know what stealth is- Is that the kinda information in yellow pages? and the whole bus clapped Blaster 8:51 pm ....... Specs 8:51 pm ... Blaster 8:51 pm I'm worried Omicron 8:51 pm good? hmm Smokescreen 8:51 pm .... is spock gonna say fuck say fu VProwl 8:51 pm ((is spock gonna fuck)) Specs 8:52 pm ((no that's mccoy's job)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:52 pm ((if you believe the pon farr episode, yeah)) Smokescreen 8:52 pm ((asdnvcbv Prowl 8:52 pm ((ahaha Omicron 8:52 pm *Icy starting to get worried for the humans there* ...no steath VProwl 8:52 pm ((spock's gonna fuck)) Swoop 8:52 pm ((-finger guns-)) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:52 pm [[None at all.]]

[[...He wonders if there is a cephalopod institute.]] Omicron 8:52 pm ((nice)) (ORCA!) ItsyBitsySpyers 8:52 pm *...They LOOK like fish.* Blaster 8:52 pm They're not very good at this Smokescreen 8:52 pm ((Spock has and will fuck again Omicron 8:53 pm fish swim side ways VProwl 8:53 pm *... looks at tarantulas. is there?* Smokescreen 8:53 pm ... no teeth?? But why Omicron 8:53 pm whales swim up and down mostion *nodding* ItsyBitsySpyers 8:53 pm *Joins the looking at Tarantulas.* VProwl 8:53 pm ((spock voice: "i've fucked before and i'll fuck again")) Specs 8:53 pm Some things don't need teeth. Like skin parasites. Tarantulas 8:53 pm *is being looked at* ...Probably? Smokescreen 8:53 pm ... Is that why I've never seen a whale? Blaster 8:54 pm That's terrible Specs 8:54 pm Humans really will eat anything. Omicron 8:54 pm *Icy makes a face* Specs 8:54 pm ((I love that "I'm going to have to steal these" face)) Tarantulas 8:55 pm *does two seconds of research and pings sw a link to the NRCC* https://www.gulfbase.org/organization/national-resource-center-cephalopods ItsyBitsySpyers 8:55 pm *...Places post-film priority on that over nightcore. If octopuses can't make him feel better, nothing will.* Omicron 8:56 pm (that Vancouver aquarium?) Specs 8:56 pm ((SPOCK)) VProwl 8:56 pm ((kirk's face)) Blaster 8:56 pm .............. Omicron 8:56 pm ..............??? ItsyBitsySpyers 8:56 pm ((monterey bay aquarium)) Blaster 8:56 pm -snorts- Stealth ItsyBitsySpyers 8:57 pm [[....They have invented the direct opposite of stealth.]] Blaster 8:57 pm Yep VProwl 8:57 pm ((i just, can't get over kirk's face journey)) Specs 8:57 pm *the dragon stifles a snicker* Anti-stealth. ItsyBitsySpyers 8:57 pm ((it's great)) Prowl 8:57 pm ((I love Kirk in this movie so much Tarantulas 8:57 pm (( 'THE HELL' Smokescreen 8:57 pm the hell they did Blaster 8:58 pm ((jyeeeep)) Smokescreen 8:58 pm he's trying to get his words noticed ... he's no longer allowed to say fuck Prowl 8:58 pm I thought he did very well. Omicron 8:58 pm primus ItsyBitsySpyers 8:59 pm [[The hell you say.]] Smokescreen 8:59 pm I thought so too! Slang is weird. Specs 8:59 pm ((Lisa you are TEARING ME APART)) Smokescreen 8:59 pm I like her. Tarantulas 9:00 pm H-how did they - ? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:00 pm ((ftr: this being an old movie, it has since been established that they're HELLA intelligent, have their own pod dialects, etc)) [[Who are Robin Hood and Friar Tuck?]] Blaster 9:01 pm No idea ItsyBitsySpyers 9:01 pm [[He doesn't remember them giving aliases.]] Omicron 9:01 pm These organics have no sense of stealth or disguise VProwl 9:01 pm (("lds")) Smokescreen 9:01 pm LDS? VProwl 9:01 pm ((real smooth kirk)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:01 pm ((snorted one too many mormons)) Specs 9:01 pm ((not a humpback whale thing, but my favorite whale pod is the one where the pod leader has no dorsal fin and his probable-girlfriend is missing a chunk of her face)) Smokescreen 9:01 pm What's that? Omicron 9:01 pm (aw) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:02 pm [[A tire iron? A vehicle repair tool.]] Specs 9:02 pm ((they're a very small family pod IIRC, but they're still going! I love them!)) Omicron 9:02 pm (I like J, K and L pods of orcas around here..... we had babies) Blaster 9:02 pm I think that's a threat Specs 9:02 pm ((babies!!!!!)) Blaster 9:03 pm Like...she'd take it an swing it like a weapon at them Prowl 9:03 pm Ha. Omicron 9:03 pm [I hope they live] pfft ItsyBitsySpyers 9:03 pm ((so do i))

[[Spock, please. Do not talk for now.]] Prowl 9:03 pm His honestly may go more smoothly than Kirk's lying. Smokescreen 9:04 pm Mannn I wanna go time travelling like this VProwl 9:04 pm ((i'm so disappointed that none of the robots in this room can appreciate the humor of a guy with an obvious russian accent cheerfully asking where to find nuclear vessels in the mid 80s)) Swoop 9:04 pm ((*wessels)) VProwl 9:04 pm ((wessels)) ItsyBitsySpyers 9:04 pm ((LOL and yes, me too)) Specs 9:04 pm ((neither can the dragon, but the humanspecs appreciates it)) Blaster 9:04 pm ((just...wow. Guys, no Omicron 9:05 pm pfft VProwl 9:06 pm These are the only two that are doing a half decent job of maintaining their cover. Omicron 9:06 pm *sniffs and eyes bar thoughtfully* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:06 pm *Soundwave pings Prowl. And Tarantulas.* @P/T: [[Listen.]] VProwl 9:07 pm *he's listening.* Smokescreen 9:07 pm oh no asdfgbnbvcbvn' Swoop 9:07 pm ((he's so entertained)) Tarantulas 9:07 pm *pings back, yes?* Omicron 9:07 pm .........really? Tarantulas 9:08 pm *snickering, oh beautiful* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:08 pm *They'll see shortly.* VProwl 9:08 pm *.................. crosses legs.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:08 pm *Barely manages not to huff loud enough for everyone not on the couch to hear.* Smokescreen 9:09 pm p. Pfpff Specs 9:10 pm *pizza tossing? that looks fun.* Smokescreen 9:11 pm I wanna toss dough Omicron 9:12 pm *Icy wonders what pizza tastes like* Prowl 9:12 pm Toss what? Specs 9:12 pm It's not that-. *oh. she forgot how big cybertronians are* Hm. It might be a little difficult for you. Smokescreen 9:12 pm They were tossing this pizza dough! I've learned a few things about how it works and it sounds really fun is he gonna tell her all about the space whales Prowl 9:13 pm And pizza is... a type of fuel? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:14 pm [[Organic fuel.]] Smokescreen 9:14 pm Yeah! It's something you eat with friends! Omicron 9:14 pm I would assume so for humans? Prowl 9:14 pm Ah. Smokescreen 9:15 pm Let her come to the 23rd century! ItsyBitsySpyers 9:15 pm =DOG.= *And that is Ravage's high-as-hell contribution for the night.* Prowl 9:15 pm *excellent contribution, Ravage* Specs 9:15 pm *the dragon has become a drug dealer for cats. what a life she leads* Smokescreen 9:15 pm You got that right, Ravage! Omicron 9:16 pm *Icy snickers and there's a mew from her back in response to ravage* Blaster 9:16 pm . . . ItsyBitsySpyers 9:17 pm *Soundwave glances over to Icy. The mew again.* Smokescreen 9:17 pm Also Sounds- Sounds? Do whales still exist? Specs 9:17 pm *chirps at the mewer. hello friend! she is eating bugs.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:18 pm [[They do.]] Omicron 9:18 pm *Icy grins wide at Soundwave, the predacon did say she would bring the younger hatching this time* Smokescreen 9:18 pm Wait, really? Can you show me sometime? Omicron 9:19 pm have you seen planetary whales smokescreen? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:19 pm [[...Show you?]] *Confused tilt.* [[They are in the middle of the ocean.]] Smokescreen 9:19 pm Nope! I've never seen them- I didn't know for sure they were real until now. ... Well, yeah- but there's gotta be some way to see 'em, right? Specs 9:20 pm Go into the ocean. If you can swim. ((BIG MOOD)) Smokescreen 9:21 pm I can't swim though Specs 9:21 pm Neither can I. Prowl 9:21 pm You don't need to breathe, Smokescreen. Just walk. Tarantulas 9:22 pm *pointed side glance at sw, pls don't ask him to get whales now to add to the cephaloparty* Smokescreen 9:22 pm But the ocean gets pretty dense, doesn't it? I'd probably get crushed by the pressure Omicron 9:22 pm don't go swiming Smokey ItsyBitsySpyers 9:22 pm *Don't worry, he won't. Smokescreen might want a cetacevent though.* Omicron 9:22 pm as far as I know a lot of mechs can't handle the pressure. Blaster 9:23 pm ..... Tarantulas 9:23 pm (( omg "cetacevent" Smokescreen 9:24 pm That's why I wanna see if there's a better way to check 'em out! Specs 9:24 pm *HAH* Omicron 9:24 pm ....good human female Specs 9:26 pm Ow. Omicron 9:26 pm ......I want a cloaking thing for dreaded Wings ItsyBitsySpyers 9:27 pm [[She reacted to feeling the transporter. He wonders if it feels like our bridges.]] Smokescreen 9:28 pm I hear humans usually purge using our bridges the first time, though. So maybe these are gentler? Omicron 9:29 pm I would hope so, or the humans would never keep anything down pfft Specs 9:29 pm *snickers* Doctors are doctors. Smokescreen 9:30 pm ... ca can I say the line sounds Prowl 9:31 pm What line? Omicron 9:32 pm go medics ItsyBitsySpyers 9:32 pm [[What line?]] Smokescreen 9:32 pm they said something about the spanish inquisition and- I don't want to say it now but you know what I mean, right? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:32 pm [[Oh. Yes, he knows that joke. Go on.]] *The twins like to use it at him.* Smokescreen 9:32 pm /He's quickly changing to a red paint job./ Nobody expects them! ItsyBitsySpyers 9:33 pm =HA= Smokescreen 9:33 pm I've been waiting for a chance to say that! Blaster 9:33 pm -snickering- Smokescreen 9:33 pm also I want a whole series of this Omicron 9:33 pm Pffft Specs 9:33 pm *the dragon is a terrible person and making a beetle dance. she's having a great time* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:33 pm ((i like how bones has to be told there isn't time to attend to the broken bone guy they knocked over)) Tarantulas 9:34 pm (( it's super cute Specs 9:34 pm ((bones is perfect)) Blaster 9:34 pm ((gotta love medics Smokescreen 9:34 pm let her come along! Omicron 9:34 pm ((yesss)) Tarantulas 9:34 pm Rude! Omicron 9:34 pm HAH! Specs 9:34 pm Hyeh. VProwl 9:34 pm ... She could have gotten them both killed. Smokescreen 9:35 pm ... does that count as pulling a miko Omicron 9:35 pm true Blaster 9:35 pm That...was dangerous Smokescreen 9:35 pm sneaking along for a mission in a potentially deadly way Omicron 9:35 pm but oddly fitting? Specs 9:35 pm She's a caretaker. I don't know many docents who wouldn't risk their own lives to keep taking care of their charges. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:36 pm [[She could have, yes. If their transporters were any older, she very well might have.]] [[He has seen the accidents. It is... unpleasant.]] Blaster 9:36 pm ....don't wanna know VProwl 9:36 pm She couldn't have kept taking care of them if she got herself killed with unknown technology. Smokescreen 9:36 pm I wanna know- what kinda accidents are there? VProwl 9:36 pm Nor does she have any right to endanger SOMEONE ELSE'S life in the process. Omicron 9:36 pm I would rather not please Specs 9:37 pm And that is where the other portion of the docents come in, yes. *the dragon smiles in the "normal" way, showing all those teeth* Although we're a very selfish species. Humans are probably less so. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:37 pm @S: [[Being turned inside out, being melded with the other life form in the transporter, pattern data loss...]] Omicron 9:37 pm That human has claws? Smokescreen 9:37 pm ... Oh. Oh, ouch. ItsyBitsySpyers 9:38 pm =Flat claws. No good.= Omicron 9:38 pm *growls at the screen, little attempt to mimic on her back* Specs 9:39 pm *gets real poofy and growls too. gotta do what the Big Dragon do. And it's horrible to slaughter innocent animals for fun.* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:40 pm [[Effective.]] Specs 9:40 pm ((oh that's a mood)) Blaster 9:40 pm -breaks down laughing- ItsyBitsySpyers 9:41 pm *Is vaguely pleased to see that. Blaster probably doesn't get many chances for it.* Omicron 9:41 pm *Icy jerks, looking around, what the frag why did she black out for a minute and where is her hatchling???* ((>.> *eyes internet)) Specs 9:42 pm Spock would be allowed to bite him for that. VProwl 9:42 pm Don't taunt him for making a guess. It's obvious he doesn't have any alternative. Blaster 9:42 pm -not many, recently, no- Blaster 9:43 pm -recovers a bit, and huffs- I'm good Omicron 9:44 pm *Icy's tracking her escaped hatchling, don't mind her in the back* Blaster 9:45 pm ..... Omicron 9:45 pm what is that?? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:45 pm [[A probe. It is trying to speak to the whales and causes damage in the process.]] Omicron 9:46 pm something from earlier? Specs 9:46 pm *the soft dragon is chewing on beetles* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:46 pm [[Yes. It is the entire reason they went back in time to fetch whales.]] Omicron 9:47 pm aah ItsyBitsySpyers 9:47 pm [[There was nothing to answer it, so it stays put, damaging Earth.]] Omicron 9:47 pm *fluffy dragon gets tail batted at by hatchling* Specs 9:48 pm *the dragon poofs in surprise, before looking down at the smol. well, hello. have a lick to the forehead, little one.* Omicron 9:49 pm *hatchlings gives a happy squeaky mew, inching forwards to see whats being nomed* Specs 9:51 pm *that's a beetle! maybe don't eat that. it's dragon food, not predacon food. but inching forwards means getting GROOMED. lick lick. only clean hatchlings here.* VProwl 9:52 pm ... Why does everything have subtitles except the whales' conversation? *that's the only part he needs translated.* Omicron 9:52 pm *Icy tilts head listening intently to the sounds while hatchling meeps abou being groomed* ItsyBitsySpyers 9:52 pm [[Perhaps we are not meant to know what they said.]] [[Secrets for their audials only.]] VProwl 9:53 pm If so they wouldn't be broadcasting it on an open frequency. Smokescreen 9:53 pm the most secret whales Tarantulas 9:53 pm I've never attempted to interpret whalesong, but my guess is it might not be able to be translated in a comprehensible manner, either. To us or the humans, that is. VProwl 9:54 pm That's absurd. Omicron 9:54 pm its sounds....like scratchy metrotitain song Specs 9:54 pm *alright, meepy baby. stay still, you need cuddles and grooming.* Blaster 9:54 pm What's absurd? ItsyBitsySpyers 9:55 pm [[Humans do not understand the /other/ animals on their planet.]] VProwl 9:55 pm The notion that a language can't be made comprehensible. Prowl 9:55 pm I'm sure a translation is possible. Just that no one's attempted it. Omicron 9:55 pm *hatchling flops on the ground, making faces but not moving away* VProwl 9:55 pm Exactly. Not attempted or not succeeded. Specs 9:57 pm *faces are fine. some babies just don't wanna be groomed as much. as long as she doesn't run away from the cuddles, it's all good. the dragon can reduce the grooming if it's so uncomfortable.* Blaster 9:57 pm It's an early human movie. I'm gonna go with not attempted ItsyBitsySpyers 9:57 pm [[Was that a valid... 'punishment'?]] Tarantulas 9:58 pm *mumbles* I beg to differ. Not everything is translatable, not really. VProwl 9:58 pm It's a documentary. It depends on what you think the purpose of punishment is. Smokescreen 9:58 pm It was a funishment! Blaster 9:58 pm Still gonna go with them not even trying ....... Being promoted can be punishment enough Omicron 9:59 pm *hatchling meeps, she got cleaned before!....but is good kitty and stays flopped* Specs 10:00 pm *well, fine. if she's ALREADY a clean hatchling, she doesn't need that much grooming. cuddles are fine.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:01 pm [[If he understands his history correctly, next time, they will try to find their god at the center of existence.]] Smokescreen 10:02 pm That was fun, Sounds! Also what Omicron 10:02 pm *...hatchling meeps one last time before purring...kinda. cuddles are good! and Icy's not far* ....primus? Prowl 10:02 pm Fascinating. Specs 10:02 pm Will they eat their god? Tarantulas 10:02 pm *gets vaguely bitter for a moment because he realizes the whales probably won't survive for too long, transposed into the future like that, for very many reasons. tch. well, they did their job* Blaster 10:02 pm ...they what? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:02 pm [[That is, the next time he has one of these documentaries. Not next week.]]

[[He does not know which god, and he will not tell you what transpires. It is to be watched.]] Smokescreen 10:02 pm /Also- he's going to tap Prowl and offer a few energon goodies!/ VProwl 10:02 pm I thought their god was on Earth? Animating bushes and snakes and the like. Specs 10:02 pm *ah, the movie's over. the dragon chirps at Icy- it's time for her to go, but she can't leave the meeper alone.* Omicron 10:03 pm that does not sound wise to eat a god Smokescreen 10:03 pm I'd eat a god Specs 10:03 pm We ate ours. VProwl 10:03 pm Did he achieve space travel too? Prowl 10:03 pm The Klingons killed their gods. They likely ate them as well. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:03 pm [[He assumes it did. The center of existence is a long way from Earth.]] Blaster 10:03 pm What. Eat a...where did this topic come from? Omicron 10:03 pm humm, well, that's intresting Tarantulas 10:04 pm ...How do they propose to find the center of existence? VProwl 10:04 pm Hm. He made it farther than Primus. Specs 10:04 pm In all fairness, I suspect that the Eaten was far worse than Primus. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Blaster 10:05 pm -this topic concerns him on many levels- ItsyBitsySpyers 10:05 pm [[With a map, he assumes. He hasn't seen the full story yet. The species involved were unusually reluctant to discuss it with outsiders.]] Tarantulas 10:05 pm I know you call the Eaten a god, but was he /really/, though? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:05 pm ((10:25 is tonight's end point; carry on!)) Smokescreen 10:05 pm I'm going to head off, I think. I really need some recharge! What's the movie for next time? Omicron 10:05 pm *Icy makes a face, laying down with hatchling in sight....but she really has no idea who created primal predacons???? * ItsyBitsySpyers 10:06 pm [[Next time, we will see a film Rumble recommended called... The Shape of Water? He wasn't aware water had a shape. Hmm.]] Smokescreen 10:06 pm oH OH YES Rumble's got good tastes I think! Omicron 10:06 pm I like water 😊 is it cold? Specs 10:06 pm If you put it in a glass sphere, it's an orb. Prowl 10:06 pm *questions Rumble's taste in anything* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:06 pm [[Yes, he is told there was an entire war in the cold at the time.]] Prowl 10:07 pm That sounds unpleasant. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:07 pm [[A good point, dragon.]] Smokescreen 10:07 pm Wait, really? Why would they do that? VProwl 10:07 pm The "cold" part is metaphorical. Omicron 10:07 pm cold is good though Smokescreen 10:07 pm If you put water in your mouth, it's mouth shaped. Prowl 10:07 pm Cold as in no direct action taken then? VProwl 10:07 pm The "war" didn't break out into open violence. Ergo, it was cold because they weren't exchanging fire. Omicron 10:07 pm I can survive in cold, its much better then heat oh... Blaster 10:08 pm Sounds familiar Tarantulas 10:08 pm *shivers, despises cold weather* Prowl 10:08 pm What sort of movies does Rumble usually recommend? Omicron 10:08 pm *Icy makes a face....miiight be a out. She likes fighting in the cold* Smokescreen 10:08 pm Prowl- Prowl, Prowl Prowl Prowl- before I go, you want any energon goodies? Prowl 10:09 pm I suppose. Smokescreen 10:10 pm /He's going to put some down in front of Prowl, grinning at her!/ I'll see you next week, yeah? Specs 10:10 pm *sighs, and gets to her feet with the utmost reluctance* I should get going too. *sighs, and gives the meeper one last snuggle for the road* Thank you for everything, Soundwave! Prowl 10:10 pm Yes, I'll be here. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:10 pm [[Oh. A cold war, not...]] *He resists the urge to sigh into his hand. Time to clean and refine Rumble's internal dictionaries again.* [[Typically, fighting, action scenes, and wild adventures. He's made the occasional exception.]] [[Goodnight, dragon. Be well.]] VProwl 10:10 pm Maybe it's a spy movie? *there's a lot of spy movies set in the cold war. Prowl's seen...... two.* Tarantulas 10:10 pm *spider-paw waves at those who are departing* Omicron 10:11 pm *icy chirps at fluffy dragon, hatchling mews after, aww no fluffy friend!* Prowl 10:11 pm That might be interesting. Smokescreen 10:11 pm /He's looking over to Tarantulas, before quickly looking back. Probably not a good time to ask for affection/ I'll see you then! Thank you for having this, Sounds! Be sure to listen to that nightcore playlist so you get exactly what it's about. At full volume. Prowl 10:11 pm Smokescreen, I'll send you the theatre plans once I've located them. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:11 pm *Soundwave's got designs on showing another one in the future once he gives it an inspection.*

[[Naturally. There is no better way to listen to new music.]] Smokescreen 10:12 pm I'm glad we're on the same *wave*length about that! ItsyBitsySpyers 10:12 pm [[OUT.]] Tarantulas 10:12 pm *snickers* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:12 pm *Don't you pun with his name, you brat.* Smokescreen 10:12 pm Bye Sounds, love youuu ItsyBitsySpyers 10:12 pm [[Ugh.]] Omicron 10:12 pm *snorts, then chirps at soundwave questioningly * ItsyBitsySpyers 10:12 pm *Glances over to Ice Queen.* Prowl 10:13 pm *collects the energon treats carefully, will distribute them to some of the officers at work tomorrow* Smokescreen 10:13 pm /He's blowing a kiss at Soundwave before walking out./ ItsyBitsySpyers 10:13 pm *Small shudder.* Tarantulas 10:13 pm *patpat sw* Blaster 10:13 pm -sighs- Okay, my break's over. Thanks for that. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:14 pm [[You are welcome. Try not to run afoul of alien messengers.]] Omicron 10:14 pm *Icy looks at her feline offspring flopped on the floor, does soundwave still want to meet or shall she take her?* Prowl 10:14 pm He might be worse than Elita. Blaster 10:14 pm I'll try to keep that to a minimum. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:14 pm [][][]Might?[][][]

*Soundwave will go for a quick meeting, but his mood is rapidly deteriorating. It can't be long. Longer next time.* Blaster 10:14 pm -waves- G'night ItsyBitsySpyers 10:15 pm [[Goodnight.]] Prowl 10:15 pm I don't know him well enough to judge accurately yet. VProwl 10:15 pm I think I'm going to get a restraining order against him. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:16 pm [[You are the captain. He assumes there is nobody higher capable of denying you.]] Tarantulas 10:16 pm ....How do you mean, restraining order? Omicron 10:17 pm *hatchling is still flopped, though wiggling* VProwl 10:17 pm I can't just grant it, I have to take it to court. Since he hasn't threatened me, my case is weak; but I've recorded all of our conversations, I have evidence of a sustained pattern of harassment and ignoring me when I plea for him to leave me alone. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:18 pm *Soundwave stretches out a feeler to get a good look at the hatchling through the claw optics. A tendril wiggles in greeting. Hello, small one.* Tarantulas 10:18 pm But multiversally speaking, if the order is granted locally, how will it be enforced anywhere else...? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:19 pm [[He supposes that is up to the mechs in charge of keeping order in any given area.]]

[[Here, at least, that is him.]] Omicron 10:20 pm *Hatchling gasps, its a Thing! That's amazing. Wide gold optics....small paw touches the feeler* VProwl 10:21 pm That's another problem. Cross-jurisdiction restraining orders are... possible, but very difficult. There's legal precedent for them, though. Prowl 10:21 pm I'm sure something can be arranged with Praxus as well. VProwl 10:22 pm Anyway. *sighs* Even if it's slim, I'm still looking into it. I don't see any other way to get him to leave me alone permanently. Tarantulas 10:22 pm Ah - hmm. *will keep his thoughts to himself for now* *instead, prefers a brief snuggle, seeing as he'll be leaving soon himself* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:22 pm *Soundwave tries not to scare the hatchling. He has been blessed by a tiny paw. His day has improved, if only by a little. It'll resume being rough as soon as they're gone, but that's life when you're devoted to fending off enormous chaos gods.* *Gently reaches across to Tarantulas and returns the pat from earlier.* VProwl 10:23 pm *... briefly turns to squeeze an arm around Tarantulas.* Omicron 10:25 pm *hatchling sniffs the feeler, inching closer....manages to find and sniff at the lens? have a kitty nose in it and a face plant if that helps soundwave feel better and have a cute clip for later* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:27 pm *It does, and it was definitely recorded. He huffs and relaxes a hair - but it is time to close up, he thinks. There are those in need of rest.*

*He withdraws the feeler, pats the hatchling, and nudges them back toward Icy.*

[[Another time. He would like to know more about them then.]] Omicron 10:29 pm *icy nods, he still has the trip to the ship? she comes over to scoop up the meeper, she might have a name soon! humms her thanks and starts to leave* [thanks for the stream!] ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm ((no prob! have a good night 😃 )) Prowl 10:30 pm I think I'll be going now. Thank you, again, Soundwave. *stands up and nods to Soundwave and then Prowl, that energy signature is familiar enough at this point* Prowl. Goodnight. ItsyBitsySpyers 10:30 pm [[Goodnight to both of you.]] VProwl 10:31 pm Evening, alternate. Tarantulas 10:31 pm *gets a last few cuddles in before politely bowing out, also* VProwl 10:32 pm *and a nod to Tarantulas as he leaves.*

*before turning to Soundwave and giving him a tired look.* Well. Off to battle nightmares, then? ItsyBitsySpyers 10:33 pm *Grabs as much comfort as he can from distractingly furry cuddles before rising and commanding the doors to lock with a subtle wave. He'll turn toward Prowl, offer a hand, and bob his helm in the direction of the stairs. Still coming?*

[[Mm. As if there were any other option these days.]] VProwl 10:34 pm Better get on with it, then. *he takes Soundwave's hand and follows him upstairs.* ItsyBitsySpyers 10:36 pm *Ravage will follow them up to help as much as he can by standing guard. May it be of some comfort in a time when there is little to be found.*

*At least there'll be warmth, two trusted mechs, and the knowledge that one of them understands.*

[hotcocosharing]

Glory Days Part 22 (IM RP AU- Shun & Midi)

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21

❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

Midori’s POV Pinching the bridge of my nose; a part of me wants to run and hide from the world yet I’m well aware that this won’t change or help anything progress. Everything that Shun has just mentioned as torn me down to a new low that I wasn’t expecting to hit yet I’m still finding it hard to clearly gauge exactly what I did wrong. Yes - I lost my temper. Yes - I said a few things I shouldn’t have; but I’m curious and unsure as to why the tiny little outburst I had days ago has caused this kind of reaction. ”..and I certainly am not interested in someone who just runs off when things don’t go well no matter how crazy I am about her.“ The words sink and I feel like I should be starting to sweat. ”..you - you’re… crazy about me?“ I bite my bottom lip just wanting for some kind of answer and then begin to panic as per the norm when it seems like I may just not get any. Dropping my head, I sweep my hair over one shoulder to buy a little more time and think about my words careful before opening my mouth again. “I’m sorry – honestly. I mistook your worrying for being angry and snapped not really knowing what else to do. It’s just, the concept of guys and feelings is still kind of new to me, and like I said the other day, you’re a nice guy and I like you and I don’t want to fuck things up between us but it seems that I just have a knack and superpower for ruining things anyway.” I’m not exactly sure what else to say. Ugh, I’m wishing I had of roleplayed this scenario out with Eri incase it ever did arise so that I could be on my a-game. Why isn’t he saying anything? Am I wasting his time? Why did I walk into the library? Ughhh. Yukihisa’s POV With my face feeling a lot better than it intially had 15 minutes ago; I rest back against the couch and watch in silence as Toshiaki say’s nothing, gives us both a look which could silently kill and announces that he’s heading out, unsure of when he’ll be back though we shouldn’t wait up for him. Up for him? It’s morning - how bloody long does he plan on going walkabout? All this thinking is making my head throb worse than the sucker punch I earlier received. The front door slams shut behind someone I’m not exactly on speaking terms with right now, vibrating everything we’ve got hanging on the walls and the look painted on Eri’s face morphs from curiosity to confusion. “He’s just having a bad day”, I explain with a heavy breath, “…my appearance earlier probably didn’t help.” Before Eri says anything; which I jump to the conclusion of being ‘shouldn’t we go after him’, I knock down the suggestion with “He’ll be fine.” “About earlier..”, I mumble not exactly confident in the idea of bringing up the past with what’s gone down, “…I’m a dick and I know it. I just don’t like the idea of there being a woman around who can undermine me and play me like a fiddle, but well done Eriko. I hope you’re the first, last and only.” Ah - she’s here for a phone, not for a deep and meaningful conversation the thought hits me. Pushing myself onto my feet painful, I walk over and dig around a draw in the kitchen were we keep random finds from mostly parties that we find. A phone – I swear I saw one in here a day or two ago.

Shunichiro'a POV

”..you - you’re… crazy about me?“

Any negativity left in me was gone in an instant. I fall silence and watch the nerve wracking Midori panics in confusion and distress before chuckling out her long waited response.

“Yes, Midori I am crazy about you so would you like to go on an official first date with me? No one else, just the two of us?”

Putting out the cigarette in hand, I put a hand on her shoulder and pull her in for a light kiss on her forehead. “And I’m sorry for losing my temper.” Feeling her trembling body against my chest, I hug her tighter and hear her rapid heartbeat. The corner of my mouth turn up, parting to say. “You didn’t screw up though I’m curious just how many boyfriend did you have?”

Eriko’s POV

“…I’m a dick and I know it. I just don’t like the idea of having a woman around who can undermine me and play me like a fiddle, but well done Eriko. I hope you’re the first, last and only.”

I stare at Maki, with wide eyes and open mouth, still processing his words. The same man that wore a baseball jacket and gave me my first oral a week ago who I was determine to fuck if not with the whole CPR fiesta has just half ass confessed to me.

A muffled giggles leaves from my mouth, I don’t want to be mean but it really is absurd. How could a smart one like him be this dumb and not realize his real problem? Shaking my heads as I take the spare phone from him, I sigh and make a promise to the future doctor.

“You’d say anything to have sex, wouldn’t you?” Not waiting for an reaction, I continue, not exactly caring if he actually believes what he said was true. “You couldn’t get laid lately, could you? Is that why I occupied your dirty little mind? Sure, we’d do it. It’s just sex anyway. If I could help in anyway, okay, let’s do it.”

His mood seems to have lighten immediately and I couldn’t help but laugh at his true form. “I don’t mean now! I need a new phone and sort myself out, k? Rain check.”

After inserting my sim card to an older iPhone, I cut the unusual hang out short and avoid tempting Maki from jumping at me. Passing by a breathless Toshiaki at the dorm entrance, “Wow, why are you running?”

The quiet not so pissed off man slows down and tries catching his breath, “I shouldn’t have left you alone with him, who knows what he’d do…. He didn’t do anything, did he?”

I’d feel a smile breaking across my face and I have to bite my lips in attempt to hide my delight and possibly pink cheeks. “Oh I’ve moved out last minute and found a place on the other side of town, you free? Want to see my new place or grab a cup of coffee or something?”

Little proud of my direct and less flirty invitation- wait, it wasn’t flirty right even though I asked him to come to my place? He wouldn’t take it as a hint for sex or making out, would he? No, this is Toshiaki not Shinichi. Oh crap, would we run into each other if I have Toshi in their campus?

“I’d love to.”

If a simple I’d love to isn’t enough, his dreamy smile sure melts me- this dork has no idea he has me wrapped around his fingers. One look, one smile oh and that one kiss- I want more. Getting to know him, about his past, his childhood, ex girlfriend, family, favorites and dislikes; exploring all sides of him and be familiar with each other.

Like the first time we met, I ask the question and he answers- nothing exciting but I laugh and smile, Toshiaki feels like home which makes me safe and comfortable.

“So you aren’t going to sleep with him, are you?”

I burst into laughter and crouch down for a few minutes before I could stand straight again, “That’s what you’ve been stressing over this whole walk? Man, Toshi, you’re adorable.” Playing with his bangs a little, I wrap an arm around his as the familiarity of his warmth and scent flutter my heart once again. “I said yes to him and I’m going to need your help to get it done.”

Swallowing nervously, I reassure him a further explanation another time but for now it’s time for a tour around my tiny little apartment. Midz probably going to be jealous over the fact that she’s actually the fourth person who set foot here. “Oh ummm, Toshiaki? I have a charity ball to attend, well my father put me up to it but would you be interested to ummm be my date? It’s going to be boring and extravaganza but …..”

Why am I nervous? Because I have never asked someone out? Because I’m afraid he would say no? Why would he? We shared a kiss! WAIT- but I shared dozens of kisses and other intimacy with others who meant nothing to me. He isn’t that kind of person though, what if he thinks I am (which is technically true, Shinichi and I nearly had sex in here. God, I feel so guilty!)

Anxiety is killing me and before I ramble out all my inner dark secrets and non sense, his voice of firm yes is the best sound I’ve ever heard.

[chanxyeollie]

70 questions, tagged by @stan-the-best-stan-monsta-x thx bby

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents? uhhh... well me & my mom generally have a good time, she acts more sisterly if that makes sense?? but me and my dad butt heads A LOT and do not get along very often.

2. who did you last say “i love you” to? see i’m pretty uncomfortable physically saying the words but like probably my cat or something lol.

3. do you regret anything? um YES let’s see off the top of my head: dying my hair red in the sixth grade, putting waaaay too much cheese on the pizza i had the other day, and being such a shitty student this year haha.

4. are you insecure? yES. i mean i have this rule that everyone who knows me in irl knows. like no one is allowed to take pictures of me. or share pictures of me. if they want a picture i have to take it or i have to direct them. there are years of pictures of my growth or w/e missing and it pisses my parents tf off lol.

5. what’s your relationship status? single as the day i exited the womb

6. how do you want to die? preferably when i’m asleep i mean??? like i don’t wanna feel anything so...

7. what did you last eat? pork? and then right after whipped cream from a can because that’s who i am as a person.

8. played any sports? hahahahahah fun fact i don’t play sports because i have really weak ankles - i’ve sprained both of them twice!

9. do you bite your nails? ugh yes... i had three years where i didn’t but now i do. :/ i’m trying to break the habit by carrying an unlimited amount of nail files with me. i miss having long nails SO MUCH.

10. when was your last physical fight? two nights ago, my mom came home after work at like midnight and hid behind a wall to scare me, which resulted in a ninja-like slap from me.

11. do you like someone? the beauty of being socially awkward and anxious and being in a uni where you don’t have to talk to anyone means there is no one to get to know and crush on. nice. :-)

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours? no, i’ve stayed up for 37 but that was the longest and i was... pretty wacked out by then but that’s a story for another time.

13. do you hate anyone at the moment? if i do i’ve blocked them from my mind i??? can’t think of anyone at this particular moment, probably just fictional characters.

14. do you miss someone? i’m gonna say this really adorable cat named toby that i saw at a petsmart like a year ago. i hope he found a good home.

15. have any pets?
 three cats! boris, pepper, and widget.

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?
 um a little bit numb because i’m sitting on my foot but otherwise neutral.

17. ever made out in the bathroom? no

18. are you scared of spiders?
 yeah the story of the first time i stayed up for a full 24 hours relates to a spider. also when i was very little i had a night terror where i had materialized a tarantula the size of me on top of me in my bed and well. that scarred me for life yanno?

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance? fuckin yeah i’d tell myself not to confess to that one guy. embarrassing

20. where was the last place you snogged someone? never lol

21. what are your plans for this weekend?
 crying before i start work on monday. i really don’t wanna go back, fuck.

22. do you want to have kids? how many? yeah! i already made a pact with myself that if i’m still single when im in my thirties i will adopt some kids. 

23. do you have piercings? how many? just my ears~

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)? um well once it was english but NOT ANYMORE LOL

25. do you miss anyone from your past?
 no, i don’t think so.

26. what are you craving right now?
 surprisingly more of the pork i had earlier even tho i didn’t really like it lol??

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart?
 no

28. have you ever been cheated on?
 no, kinda have to have had a boyfriend for that to happen

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
 no

30. what’s irritating you right now? the exam i have tomorrow. i should have withdrawn from that class i’m gonna have two F’s on my transcript wails

31. does somebody love you? my youngest cat. i am her mom.

32. what is your favourite color? black, pink in your area

33. do you have trust issues? yes but at the same time no

34. who/what was your last dream about? omg k let me get out my dream journal hang on... okay a short synopsis: my friend owned a burger king in this area near our high school (idk??) and i worked there w her, her boyfriend, and a few other people but one of the guys took my uniform which was, by the way, for some reason pastel blue and pink overalls but like shorts? and they were puffy like winter jackets. and then so i couldn’t work but i was still there and then allison and lydia from teen wolf walked in and we had like a reunion bc apparently we were friends lol and then scott came in and then stiles came in after him and i like ran to him and we hugged. idk what happened in my head man.

35. who was the last person you cried in front of? omg... my roommate. because i read a really sad fic and i tried to hide my tears w my blanket bUT SHE CAUGHT ME and then i started laughing while bawling my eyes out simultaneously bc i was embarrassed rip.

36. do you give out second chances too easily? gdi yeah i do. but i’ll bitch abt the person a fair amount first.

37. is it easier to forgive or forget? forgiving is hard but i’d never want to forget anything someone did to me. i’d want to remember so i can caution myself to make sure the same thing doesn’t happen again.

38. is this year the best year of your life?
 um no unless the second half is gonna have a really great turn around.

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss? well i can tell you at this rate i’ll be 20 or over when it finally happens

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked? (réka omfg i laughed so hard at ur answer) no i have not. but once i forgot to take my pajamas off and just put my clothes over them and then when i went to the bathroom later in the day i was really fucking confused

51. favourite food?
 well you got ur meats, steak, bacon, any sort of chicken. but you got pizza too. and you got sugar waffle cones... i mean like how am i to pick?

52. do you believe everything happens for a reason? i mean i hope it does because otherwise that’s just a big fuck u from the universe.

53. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
 (réka fuck me up enter the realm of exo) um i read exo fics and then i was on @vixx17andbtsimagines‘s blog catching up on her stuff.

54. is cheating ever okay? noooooooooooooo~~~~~~ its not like wtf is that why would you put someone through the pain that’s so shitty. idc the circumstance.

55. are you mean?
 no i’m really not but my face and fast-paced walk and avoidance of ppl makes them think i’m a mega-bitch. seriously, at least three of my friends have told me that was their first impression of me yikes.

56. how many people have you fist fought?
 technically two but very lowkey. the first one was a very hesitant, light slap to the face of this boy when i was in the sixth grade - i was very scared to do this but afterwards he cried and said i broke his jaw lmAO. and this doesn’t really count but this guy i was friends with was sitting across from me at a table and he jokingly threw a plastic fork at me and out of pure reflex i smacked him across the face. this has happened more than once disclaimer rofl.

57. do you believe in true love?
 books make me want to believe it. but i don’t really know. i feel that can only be answered by someone who’s experienced it idk??

58. favourite weather?
 just... march, october, and november because that is when there are no bugs and it’s cold enough to wear pants and the bulk of my clothes without sweating/freezing.

59. do you like the snow?
 yeah if i’m not in it lol. those canadian winters, man

60. do you wanna get married? yeah i’d like to one day, but when i think abt having the ceremony i get very anxious haha

61. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? that depends on the person?? but i feel like i’d personally be such a sucker for it if it was from the right guy lol

62. what makes you happy?
 the rare perfect cup of coffee, music, smyang’s music box version’s of songs, exo and bts crack videos (i die every time), having a good ass sleep with my body pillow to name a few.

63. would you change your name? yeah i go by aluri everywhere because its what i want to change my name to. by this point i’ve ‘had’ it for ten years and even though my family/irl friends don’t call me it, that’s all the online knows me as.

64. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
 well the last person i kissed was in a dream and it was mark from got7 so no, not at all ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

65. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? i don’t have one of those anymore so

66. do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? no?

67. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
 shocker it was my dad lmao

68. who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my roommate. which sucks because we aren’t roomies anymore and i’m gonna miss our car talks so much. :/

69. do you believe in soulmates?
 if the reason i haven’t been so much as looked at by a guy is because the world is saving me for my soulmate then sure. but otherwise NO

70. is there anyone you would die for? my oldest cat boris. :/ he’s kind of my best friend so what’re you gonna do, you feel? i love doing things like this as an excuse to talk abt myself  & it was really fun so thank you for tagging me babe @stan-the-best-stan-monsta-x and i loved reading yours!! and um gonna tag my two mains again @tearsmp4 @bunmyeon because a) i love them b) i have no other friends seriously also @sooberri if you wanna do this i’d like to know more about you as creepy as that sounds ^^

[morganbelarus]

People Are Posting The Things That Annoy Them The Most, And Some Will Make Your Blood Boil (25+ Pics)

We don't need to get fired or go through a breakup to really feel like shit. People like it when things are done in a certain way, and any small deviations can result in a catastrophic mood, no matter how big or important the occasion. Someone borrows your earphones and gives them back with all the filthy content of their ears? A nauseating disaster. You stumble upon a pistachio with no opening? A frickin' gear grinder! Bored Panda has collected another relatable list of annoying things that constantly ruin our days, and we dare you to go through it without saying "UGH, I hate when that happens." And if you think nothing can infuriate you more, check out our earlier collection here.

#1 Every Time

#2 Unbelievable

#3 People Who Make This In Historical Places

#4 Why? Why Do I Need An Account Just To Look At Pinterest?

#5 The Worst Part About Job Applications

#6 When A Plug Covers The Outlet Next To It

#7 People Who Leave A Train Like This

#8 He Asked Me What The Hell I Was Taking A Picture Of. I Told Him I Was Taking A Pic Of The D-Bag That Needs To Occupy 2 Handicap Spots To Eat Some Fries

#9 $275 Required Spanish Textbook Is Loose Leaf Paper Wrapped In Cellophane

#10 This!

#12 I Work In A Kitchen. You Have No Idea How Many People Say 'You Look Like The Guy From Ratatouille'. Every Damn Minute

#13 Laptop At The Movies

#14 Doctor Appointment At 8:20, Currently 10:00, Still No Sign Of Even A Nurse

#15 The Hospital "Helping"

#16 Having To Clean Up Someone Else’s Piss So The Person Behind Me Doesn’t Think I Did It

#17 Went To See Isle Of Dogs Tonight. This Woman Brought Her ~2-Year-Old Son To This PG-13 Movie. When He Started To Cry, Instead Of Taking Him Out, She Put Peppa Pig On Her Phone On High Volume For Him To Watch, Which He Did For The Remaining Hour Of The Movie

#18 She Was Snapchating While Driving (40 Mph Road(64.4 Kph)). She Also Had A Little Brother In The Passenger Seat While Doing This. Hate How Often I See People Doing Stuff Like This (Photo Taken By A Passenger Of My Car)

#19 The Way My Wife Opens Things

#20 Found This Note In My Hotel Bed Last Night

#22 The Fact That We’re Expected To Read These Before Ticking “Yes, I’ve Read And Accept The Terms And Conditionsâ€

#23 Why Can't They Design Their Cables Better?

#24 When The Fabric Gets Stuck Inside Your Zipper

#25 Jerks That Cut In Line

#26 This Tape Is Dead To Me

#27 How Did You Get Hired?

#28 I Counted 29 Items. I Had One

#29 When You Tear Exactly Where It Says To, But The Bag Remains Sealed

#30 "I Guess I'll Just Buy Another Thing To Knock Down The Candy B...."

#32 Walmart Should Stop Selling Fish

#33 When Water Adheres Down The Side Of The Glass

#34 As An Usher, People Who Do This

#35 When This S**t Happens

#36 When You Buy The Old Neighborhood Drug House

#37 After Trying For 7 Years, I Finally Placed In My Age Group - Coming In First! I Asked A Bystander To Capture My Triumph

#38 Every Single Time

#39 These Tiny Cuts That Randomly Show Up And Itch Like Hell

#40 My Receipt For Buying One Bottle Of Vegetable Oil At CVS (100 Lb Dog For Scale)

#42 When Washing Your Car And A Guy Parks Behind You, Instantly Gets Out And Impatiently Crosses His Arms

#43 At My Local CVS, Pushing This Button Announces Over The PA System To The Entire Store "A Customer Requires Assistance In The Family Planning Department." The Shelves Are Only About 5 Feet High, So Almost Everyone In The Store Can Look Over While You Awkwardly Wait For An Employee To Open The Case

#44 Then Why The Hell Are They Printing It In Full Colour?

#45 I Don't Get It How This Happens Everytime

#46 “Thanks Man, I’ll Give Your Headphones Back In A Few Days!â€

#47 This Lady Watching A Beach Wedding

#48 These Long Stairs That Require You To Have Either One Awkwardly Long Stride Or Two Awkwardly Short Strides For Each Step

#49 These Phone Cases At Concerts

#50 This...

#52 I Hate UPS Just A Little Bit More Every Day

#53 This Lift'n’Peel Bulls**t

#54 A**holes Who Leave Store Shelves Like This

#55 When This Happens

#56 People Who Do This...

#57 This Really Pissed Me Off As A Cat Owner

#58 When Craigslist Sellers Pull This Type Of S**t

#59 This Swing Has Been Up For 5 Years And All The Kids In The Neighborhood Played On It. New Lady Moved In And Cut It (It Wasn’t Even In Her Yard)

#60 The Reason I Woke Up This Morning

#62 Pencil Sharpening To A Wooden Tip

#63 My Verizon Bill This Month. I Don’t Think They Know What Discount Means

#64 Nice

Original Article : HERE ; This post was curated & posted using : RealSpecific

=> *********************************************** See Full Article Here: People Are Posting The Things That Annoy Them The Most, And Some Will Make Your Blood Boil (25+ Pics) ************************************ =>

People Are Posting The Things That Annoy Them The Most, And Some Will Make Your Blood Boil (25+ Pics) was originally posted by 16 MP Just news

[pafsins2]

Everything Wrong and Right With Mission Marvel

SINS:

1.Why would Aunt May care that Phineas and Ferb are doing a crossover? And why does Spider-Man want to bust them? I'm confused already!

2.Oh yeah the kids are space for the 50th time

3.”I do not want to do it in the suit” Piss joke.

4.Was “Cranking” ever a thing?

5.Yet another Doof plan fueled by roger. We've already had a few this season and there's even more coming up.

6.”I thought this was going to be a special extended episode!” Haw Haw

7.Obligatory Stan Lee Cameo.

8.The Avengers existing in the P&F world raises so many questions that I  won't bother to get into

9.Drake Bell isn't with Josh in this scene.

10.The boys satellite happens to hit New York when normally it would happen to hit Danville?

11.Everyone else makes some sort of sense, but wouldn't Hulk turn back into Bruce Banner?

12.Also, being worthy isn't enough to carry the hammer, you gotta be strong too? There's no worthy people who are a tad weak? What a picky hammer.

13.Nicky Fury doesn't comment until now for the sake of this joke.

14.”Winning!” If that's a Charlie Reference than that's an extra sin. +!

16.Danny Trejo is given very little to do here.

17.MODOK feels the need to remind everyone who he is.

18.”He must have some backstory” Ha Ha.

19.You already did the Where's Perry joke.

20.Why was Doof expecting Perry when he already thwarted him today?

21.His accent isn't THAT thick.

22.How long has Thor been on Earth in this continuity? Because I don't know if he should have seen a juice box by now or not?

23.You did “Where's Perry?” THREE TIMES?!

24.You work with the jolly green giant, a god, and a spider-man. Is a Platypus that farfetched?

25.Also, it just hit me to sin the lack of any character you feel should have been here. I pick Captain America because apparently it wasn't a legal problem, Dan just didn't like him or something. Dan is dead to me.

26.Again, you are a group of very odd people,why is a Platypus farfetched?

27.A Disney Marvel production makes reference to a Fox Marvel property. Then again, Spider-Man was with Sony at the time so...meh.

28.Ferb doesn't a card to Iron Man. I know he's stuck at the moment but come on.

29,Wait, so the Marvels are real but also have stuff based on them as seen with the Ducky Momo Crossover?

30.How did Stan Lee get to Danville from New York so fast?

31. They randomly switch from Evil Buddies and Me to Evil Buddies and  I, for the sake of a rhyme.

32.How does having Thor powers unlike the suit, which by this episodes logic is a power unique to Iron Man?

33.Oh boy here we go. Phineas get angry in this context isn't a sin on it's own. The sin is that he gets angry TWICE, and the first time feels slightly harsher. It would work better if this was cut, making his 2nd freakout feel more earned.

34. And yet that's not the saddest moment in the episode:”Horse in a bookcase is canceled' NOOOOOOOOO!

35.Is it me or does the CG on The Break glitch in a few shots?

36.Random Narrator half way through.

37.Perry sure took his sweet time doing anything.

38.Howard the Duck exists in the P&F Universe. Huh.

39.This Candace Mistake is a lot more well meaning and small. The mistakes and freakouts should have been switched for bigger impact.

40.Refer to my previous sin about Phineas. But since the flaw with that scene makes this bit even more off, it deserves repeating.

41.”You wouldn't like him when he's angry” The fans sure don't.

42.We're 24 minutes into a 44 minute special and we're introduction another subplot, with Isabella? Yeah, it's lateness and abrupt-ness is a big issue with the plot.

43.And why is she so bothered when it wasn't as big of a deal back in Got Game?

44.Villain is betrayed by bigger villains cliché.

45.Linda's headphones must be amazingly powerful to block out this noise

46. Out of nowhere, the lack of female heroes is an issue? Huh?

47.Candace is on the bed in this shot, but she's next to the window in this shot.

48.”My brother got mad at me for screwing up” “Buford is being sexist and I want more female heroes here, and I haven't been prevented from helping yet” “We're on the same page, let's sing about it!”

49.And Isabella's plight is never mentioned again! ...Wait, what?

50.”I know you're in there somewhere” cliché.

51.This Buford Scene is pretty much pointless

52.In case you forgot Phineas was angry...

53.”We have a Baljeet”. Haw haw.

54.”You were up in what?” Did she...forget they were in space earlier?

55.How did Buford make that costume so quickly?

56.How does he still have the Disintergrator-inator?

57.”Talk about being disarmed” Boooooo.

58.Candace and Isabella sure recovered from the shock of falling to earth pretty quickly. Also, they survive that.

59.”That's using my head” Ugh...

60.Phineas tore the card up into two pieces but here it seems to be in 5 pieces.

61. He just forgave you and you're going to bust them? Jerk!

62.And Doof ends up doing nothing in the actual climax.

63.Abrupt ending.

64.How did Perry have time to put that costume on underneath?

EPISODE SIN TALLY: 64

SENTENCE: Chewed out by Phineas, twice!

...Well, that's a lot of sins...but less than SBTY, believe it or not. Weird. But still, plenty of sin to enjoy here. Now let's see what it got right.

WINS:

1.This is a pretty cool opening for the special.

2.”Aunt May, Phineas and Ferb are doing a crossover” Now that's funny.

3.This is a fun song to start us off

4.Irving gets to say Where's Perry for real this time!!

5.This is actually a decent  plan by Doof's standards

6.Stan Lee! Yes, it's a sin  and a win.

7.We already get a fun action scene with the heroes

8.And yes, the Marvel Heroes in general is a big win.

9.Having the big idea and Doof's plan work together to start the conflict is a nice touch.

10.The gags with them dealing with their lost powers, such as Iron Man on a dolley, are pretty funny.

11.And already one of the heroes is using one of the shows running gags!

12.Danny Trejo voices Venom and he's always a win, even if he doesn't do a lot.

13.The banter with the villains is great.

14.I love that its gotten to the point where Linda says she's in charge before she can even ask.

15.Modok Doof is a win.

16. The interactions with Doof and the villains are hilarious.

17.And now the crossover has really begun!

18.Candace being a fangirl is all kinds of hilarious.

19.”Yes, except it's cool” Oh snap!

20.Everything said in this bit with Nicky Fury is funny. Yeah, this episode is funny.

21.”Just a little British Sci Fi Technology.” Nice.

22.”We're not allowed to accept unsolicited materiel” Again, nice.

23.A Crossover joke in a crossover, so meta.

24.This entire song sequence is freaking hilarious.

25.Stan Lee again!

26.This entire conversation with Thor and IronMan was lifted from a talk between the creators and the Marvel people, which makes this even funnier.

(I'll defend Phineas a bit later as it's actually more of a win there, sort of)

27. The Beak is back!

28. This throwown here is cool.

29. “Now I'm Iron Man” Hahahahaha! That was a genuine laugh by the way.

30.Stan Lee as Narrator!

31. Super Perry is a win.

32. This special has so many great jokes but the Howard the Duck bit is the best.

33.Candace is helping!

34.Hulkjeet.

35.Nice Hulk Reference.

36. Okay, there's plenty wrong with Phineas but to be fair, his anger makes sense to an extent. Candace screwed up big time and he's gotten mad before, at weaker offensives. And it does lead to some nice emotional stuff and helps the story in theory, even if it could have been done better.

37.I'm willingly to let the problems with Isabella slide because this song is amazing. The emotion is there and Ashley and Alyson work really well together.

38.Lawrence's Cameo is funny

39.a Nice Buford moment, even if it's undone.

40.More Stan Lee!

41. Going out to fight despite no real powers is very noble and badass on their part.

42.This little bit here is pulled of better than the previous Phineas/Candace scenes in the episode,so it earns a win.

43.Hulkjeet saving Iron Man is awesome, especially with all the buildup.

44.The music during this part is awesome.

45.Bearboy!

46.Doof helping is always a win.

47.Saving the day by accident!

48.The full version of this rap is really cool

49.This climax is AWESOME! Besides the fight itself being exciting and well animated, the song really makes it even more epic!

50.This make up scene is very nice and makes this subplot worth it, even with it's flaws.

51.Victory Hot Dogs by Stan Lee!

52.The Ducky Momo gag here is great.

EPISODE WIN TALLY: 52

REWARD: Superpowers!

Yeah, a win record, as expected with the extra time. This episode is one of the reasons I started doing Wins to begin with, as it does deserve defending. This was one of the more fun sin posts, helps that the episode is fun.

With that, see you next week as we go back to normal sins,  involving Thanks and Troy!

[theliterateape]

Hope Idiotic | Part 22

By David Himmel

 Hope Idiotic is a serialized novel. Catch each new part every week on Monday and Thursday.

MICHELLE OFTEN SANG IN THE SHOWER and loved bouncing along to the radio while getting ready for a weekend night out. This night, she was singing even louder and bouncing even higher because she was excited about eating at Ginger & Homestead.

“I’m so impressed that you booked this reservation all on your own,” she told Lou who was having trouble getting his tie just right.

“Well, I know how to use a phone.”

“I know. It’s just nice to have you do this. I like being taken care of.” She bounced over to him and kissed him on the cheek, then helped straighten his tie while singing along to Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You.”

Lou matched her excitement with nervousness. This dinner was the dinner Michelle had been waiting more than two years to have. This was the dinner that they fought about. This was the dinner that I warned Lou not to plan. This was the dinner that already cost him more than eight grand before they had even checked in with the hostess. This was the dinner that had to be the most perfect dinner anywhere… ever. And it would be. Everything was in order.

Lou had the ring Michelle wanted. He was taking her to the restaurant she’d been salivating over for months. He stopped by the place a few weeks before to let the manager know that he would be proposing to his girlfriend. He orchestrated a bottle of Michelle’s favorite champagne, Veuve Clicquot, to be delivered when she said “yes.” He even worked it out that the restaurant’s owner—now considered a celebrity chef—would personally deliver the bottle to their table and be the first to congratulate Michelle, as well as be the first to coo over her ring. Was it possible to dim the lights throughout the restaurant except over their table when he got on one knee? The manager said that it was, so Lou arranged it that they would be seated in exactly the right spot. He would give her the spotlight she so craved. Yes, it would be perfect.

“Are you okay?  You’re fidgety,” Michelle observed.

“I am? Sorry, I’m fine. Just taking it all in. Some restaurant, huh?”

The last dish of their main course had just been cleared. The time was nigh. But before he could start his proposal, he had to give the signal to their waitress, and she hadn’t been to the table since checking on them earlier in the meal.

“Something on your mind?” Michelle said.

To avoid any more obvious awkwardness, Lou lied. “Just thinking about writing a scene for the show with Mark. You know, this place is packed and it’s not cheap, but we’re in a recession, so who are all of these people and why are they hoarding all the jobs and money? I don’t know. Something like that.”

“Ugh. Your play. It’s not even a real play yet.”

“Huh?”

“All you do is talk about your play. It’s just kind of annoying, that’s all.”

“I’m sorry? It’s just a big part of what I’m doing right now.”

“I wish you’d talk more about finding work.”

“Me, too. Unfortunately, there’s not as much daily news on that front.”

“Are you sure you’re not wasting your time with this comedy stuff? Maybe you could be spending that time meeting clients.”

“I think I’ve got a good balance. I can’t network and email and job hunt and market myself 24 hours a day.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s impossible. One, I’d get burned out. Two, I only write with Mark after hours when potential clients aren’t working anyhow, and three, if I did that, I’d have no time to spend with you.” He was trying to bring the conversation back to romance.

“You don’t spend time with me anyway. You’re always out doing stand-up until like one in the morning.”

“A couple nights a week... so what?”

“So what? So what I think it’s doing is distracting you from what’s important.”

“The writing and stand-up are important.”

“They’re important as hobbies, Lou. As hobbies. A hobby isn’t a job. These hobbies aren’t what’s going to get you to a place where we can start a life together.”

The perfect night was slipping away. Panic was sliding in.

The waitress approached with a big grin. She looked directly at Lou. “Are the two of you ready to take a look at our dessert menu?”

The perfect night was slipping away. Panic was sliding in.

This was Lou’s cue. All he had to say was, ‘We’d love to’ and the waitress would say she’d be right back. She’d tell the owner/celebrity chef to get ready with the champagne. The manager would put his finger on the appropriate light switches. Lou would tell Michelle how much he loved her and how he wanted to start their life together right away. He’d get on his knee. The lights would change. All of the other patrons would become silent the moment they realized what was happening. He’d reach into the side pocket of his blazer and pull out the ring box. Michelle would start crying. He’d open the box and reveal the ring of her dreams to her. She’d gasp and cover her mouth with her hands. He’d say, ‘Michelle Kaminski, love of my life, will you marry me?’ She’d say ‘yes.’ He’d place the ring on her finger and kiss her. The restaurant would erupt in celebration. Michelle would hold out her hand and admire her new jewelry. Then she’d raise the back of her hand up and display it for the whole restaurant to see. The owner/celebrity chef would come out with the Vueve, congratulate them, open the bottle, fill their glasses and ask to see Michelle’s ring. The lights would go back to normal. Lou would go back to his seat. Some patrons would insist on buying the star couple drinks. Strangers would take photos of them with camera phones. Michelle, through tears of excitement and joy, would say that her makeup was probably a mess. She’d be right. But Lou would tell her she looked perfect. Because to him, at that moment, seeing Michelle that happy and knowing that he was the one who made her that happy, she would look perfect.

But Lou didn’t say, ‘We’d love to.’ Instead he smiled and said, “Give us a couple minutes.”

The waitress’ face fell. He watched her walk back to the bar like she’d been defeated, where her manager was waiting. Lou gave a small, awkward smile to them both. Then he turned back to Michelle.

“Don’t call them hobbies,” he told her. “These are things that will help my career. They are my career. This is what I want to do. The copywriting thing is a career, too, of course, and it’s just as important as the script writing and stand-up. Do not reduce my passions and my efforts to actually create a life I can be happy with to something as trivial as stamp collecting. Do not belittle me.”

“I’m not belittling you, Lou. I’m bringing you down to Earth. I’m keeping you realistic. You can’t afford the life we want by telling jokes in the middle of the night at dive bars in Chicago. It’s impossible. Why don’t you understand that?”

“Why don’t you understand that I won’t be in those dive bars in the middle of the night forever? This is how it starts. Bit by bit. Patience and persistence.”

“Persistence? What persistence? You’ve gone from wanting to be a writer to working in sales to wanting to be a teacher to wanting to start your own company back to wanting to be a writer and a stand-up comedian. The only thing that persists is the inconsistency.”

He was speechless, which was a good thing because if he found the words to say, he would have certainly made things far worse than they were. He didn’t know how else to explain the way of things to her. Some days she’d understand it all, and other days it was an alien language. She was right about one thing: inconsistency did persist. But that wasn’t on his hands.

“I’ll get our check,” he said standing.

“What about dessert?”

He started walking to the bar. “You don’t need it,” he said to himself.

“Is everything alright?” the manager asked.

“No. Well, yes. Sort of. Here’s the thing—she’d kill me if I told you this but I don’t know how else to explain. My girlfriend has irritable bowel syndrome. It can strike at any moment and, well, it has struck.” The manager looked repulsed and terrified. “Don’t worry,” Lou said reassuringly. “Nothing has happened. But she’s afraid something might if she doesn’t leave right now. So yeah, I don’t think it’s the best idea for me to propose and go through the whole thing when she’s on the brink of shitting herself. Not the most romantic memory, you know?”

“Was it something she ate?”

“No. It’s just a condition. One of the many things I love about her. I’ll just pay the check here and we’ll get going. Thank you for everything you did for us tonight.”

“I’ll let the owner know. I’m terribly sorry about this. Let us know when you’d like to try again.”

“Great. Will do.”

✶

LOU WAS BALANCING HIS FEELINGS OF ANGER AND ANNOYANCE SILENTLY. Michelle took a cue from him and also kept quiet on the cab ride home. In the apartment, she put on her pajamas, popped a bowl of popcorn and parked herself in front of the TV. Lou fixed himself a drink and sucked it back, looking at the lake from the windows.

“Do you want to watch some TV with me?” Michelle ventured.

Lou kept his gaze on the harbor below. “No thanks. I think I’ll go for a walk.”

“What’s with you tonight?”

“Just a little grumpy is all. No big deal. I’ll be back.”

He felt guilty for being so short with her because she couldn’t possibly have had any idea what should have happened at dinner. It was also clear that she had no idea of the impact the things she said at dinner had on him. She was business as usual when they got home. And that was a big problem for him, too.

Lou walked up the block to Caroline’s, his favorite neighborhood bar. He drank Dewar’s White Label neat until he was drunk enough to forget that he was carrying around an engagement ring valued at his entire life’s savings intended for a person he currently couldn’t stand the sight of.

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX Part X Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21