#USAManor! Virginia

[ask-the-usa-manor]

“Aaaaaaaaaah—”

“Heya, Pops,” New York greeted, walking up beside America, “Quietly screaming at your past life choices again? Yeah. Yeah, me too.”

“It’s not that,” America promised, “For once. Look at this mailbox! It’s stuffed to the brim! There’s gotta be almost a hundred letters in here… From months ago—!”

“Answer what you can, and feed Florida the outdated,” New York shrugged, “It’s a win-win scenario. Florida gets the dinner, we get the show.”

“York,” Virginia chastised, “That’s unethical, and—”

“Eat this,” America pawned off a couple papers to Florida, who did so without hesitation.

[ask-the-usa-manor]

Can I hug the states please?

That is, if their comfortable with that, if not that is okay.

Virginia blinked slowly, “Well, I mean—”

“Mine.” Georgia picked up the Anon via hug and walked away. Everyone wave goodbye, we’re probably never seeing them again. 👋

[ask-the-usa-manor]

Must be hard having to care for all those kids isn’t it? Have you ever neglected some of them to pay attention to others?

“I hope not,” America frowned, “I might spend more time checking in on states that are going through something, sometimes. When they were younger, I guess I’d be raising the ones that weren’t adults yet more than the ones living their own lives. Otherwise, I don’t play favorites. I love my Virginia and all my non-Virginias equally.”

[ask-the-usa-manor]

Hey Minnesota, do you think you'll ever give Virginia her battle flag back? You did take it on the civil war and she's been asking for it back for awhile now.

Also, what's the most isolated or lonely state?

“As of right now? No, I don’t think I’m giving it back any time soon,” Minnesota answered, “A 1905 congressional resolution, several Virginian groups throughout the decades, and 2013 Ginny asking to borrow it won’t pry it from me.”

“I guess I would be the most ‘isolated,’” Alaska responded, “But I wouldn’t say I’m lonely.”

“Wyoming’s probably the loneliest,” Montana concluded, “‘People’ is practically a foreign word to him.”

[ask-the-usa-manor]

*Cheeses america*

-Vont

“What. What does that mean. Did you just throw cheese at me? Why— What does ‘cheeses’ mean? Do I get to keep this cheese? Cheese is expensive. I can make a cheese dip with it. Grilled cheese. Maybe with beef. Yum yum yum... Am I made of cheese now…?” America stared down at his hands, “…Your message perturbs me. Is it one of fortune or one of woe?”

Virginia paused, looked up at the ceiling, and sighed, “…Don’t test that by trying to eat yoursel—”

“OW—!”

“DAD.”

[ask-the-usa-manor]

How many of the states have gone to school

"I mean... we've all gone to our time's version of school," Virginia bargained, "Which was. Well. Not an actual school for me. I picked things up along the way-"

"So I'm. Technically," Florida cut in, "...More educated than any of my older siblings due to the advancement of education throughout the years?"

"...Spell 'education.'" "Pfft. Easy. E-D... J-O-O... C-A-S-H-U-N."

"How'd you screw it up that bad?" Alabama huffed, "She literally typed it out in the dialogue line before yours for you."

[ask-the-usa-manor]

A feminine voice rang in Maine's ears as he found himself looking into a meeting room of sorts. The source of the voice drifted before shutting itself up quickly upon realizing there was something unfamiliar within the room.

"What is that?" She pointed towards the peering head and the fifty or so occupants of the room turned to look over at Maine. Each of which had varying degrees of surprise.

~ states-and-such

“…” Maine stared back at them, “…We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty—”

Virginia swiftly dragged Maine back out of the hole, “What are you doing?”

“I panicked,” Maine admitted, “There’s a group of people on the other side, I wasn’t prepared for it.”

“A group of…?” Virginia peaked through the inter-dimensional void, “…Hm.”

“…Should I say ‘hi’?”

“Well—”

“I’m saying ‘hi,’” Maine poked his head back through the hole, “Hello! Good morning. Or afternoon. Or evening. Or night. Whatever time it is at your place.”

Virginia huffed behind him, crossing her arms, “Well, at least be polite and introduce yourself.”

“Ah. Right,” Maine gave Ginny a quick nod.

He turned his attention back to the alternate universe.

“My name’s Maine,” He added, “So, uh… Did you poke a hole through reality, or…? What is this whole ‘rip’ thing?”

[ask-the-usa-manor]

The group of people were partially taken aback by Maine's sudden speech. A few of their expressions grew even more dumbfounded when the portal remained even after Maine was pulled back. They looked at each other and exchanged whispers among themselves during his brief absence. The moment Maine popped back in, they once against silenced themselves and sat up straight when his voice filled the room once more. Silence soon followed as the occupants processed what was going on.

"Uh..." One of them, a fair skinned woman with dirty blonde hair and grey eyes, finally chose to chime in. "To be honest...we didn't really notice that it was there until now. So, that should be enough to tell you that we had nothing to do with it." The woman shrugged and smiled awkwardly.

The sound of a chair screeching eventually caught everybody's attention. "I'm sorry, but I need to make sure I heard you correctly. You said your name was...Maine? As in the state?" The occupant stared at Maine intently, as if examining him.

~states-and-such

Maine stared back at them blankly, his flag clear on his face. I mean, even the name ‘Maine’ was printed on it.

“…No,” He answered slowly, “Maine as in the freshly hired janit— Ow!”

Maine put a protective arm over his newly-bruised side, looking away from the portal to shoot Virginia a look of utter devastation at her betrayal.

Virginia returned his gaze with an expression every state knew well. An expression their oldest sister made frequently over the centuries, one burned into their brains;

‘Behave.’

“…Maine as in the state,” Maine confirmed, turning his attention back to the stranger, “The one and only personification of the Pine Tree State… So, uh. Who might you be?”

[ask-the-usa-manor]

This is a bit more of a serious question, though I suppose it is odd in its own way.

humans *generally* have a limit to how many years difference makes a romantic relationship inappropriate or not. 3 is fine, 9 is iffy, 15 is pushing it. And so on. Depends on culture ig.

but does that exist for you guys? As you age way slower it’d be less important as you even out to being closer in physical age. 30 year’s difference for humans would be a huge red flag but I imagine it’s not for you guys.

anyway you must be getting my point by now but I am curious.

“I mean. Well, yeah. That’s a valid question,” Arkansas agreed, “We age at the speed of molasses after reaching adulthood.”

“30 years goes by… so quickly, for most of us,” Virginia added, “At least, when comparing it to how a regular human sees it. I’d say as long as you didn’t know your partner when they were a kid and you weren’t— or vice versa— you’re alright.”

[ask-the-usa-manor]

I'm a pretty cool dude. And that's just the facts. *huffs can of wd40, then proceeds to hiccup with a slightly zoinked-looking facial expression*

“…You ate glue as a child, didn’t you?” America patted the Anon on the head reassuringly, “Don’t worry. We’ve all been there.”

Virginia shot him a skeptical look, “…Weren’t you there two weeks ago on vaca—?”

“What happens in Puerto Rico’s resorts stays in Puerto Rico’s resorts.”

[ask-the-usa-manor]

If I remember correctly, Bristol Virginia was officially founded back in 1856, while bristol Tennessee was founded back in 1852.

Also Virginia, are towns ever personified? Like your town of Abingdon, which has been around since 1752? Or is it just states, countries, unions and cities?

Oh hey America, what's your relationship with Mexico like? You guys hBe some bad blood considering the wars and border problems, but she's also you biggest trading partner alongside Canada.

“Towns are personified,” Virginia assured, “So are counties, companies… The whole deal, really.”

“We have a very interesting friendship,” America shrugged, “Or frenemyship. It depends on the year. And the month. And the week. And the hour. And the minute. He’s pretty cool.”

[ask-the-usa-manor]

Dear United States of America

This is from the Internal Revenue Service.

You are being audited for your income tax returns.

Failure to comply with this will result in arrest by the IRS and you shall be charged with Income Tax Evasion. This applies for all states and territories,Federal District and all other bodies of the Federal Government. You as the personification of The United States of America will be audited as well.

We shall arrive on your doorstep tomorrow morning and expect the Income Tax Returns filed and prepared for us. Again,failure to comply results in Income Tax Evasion arrest.

FBI,SWAT,and other law enforcement agencies are aware of the situation regarding your abilities and the states abilities. Warrants have been issued incase of the situation that you do not comply. If this does occur,you,along with your entire family will be arrested and charged with Income Tax Evasion and be scheduled for a court appearance later this year.

You have 24 hours as of this note being delivered to you.

America, clenching the paper by the end of it, sharply inhaled, “…Shiiiiiiiiii…”

“You’ve been evading your taxes?” Virginia asked in disbelief, “…Why? You’re the country. The money goes back to you.”

“I swear, I thought I did!” America promised, “I guess it must’ve slipped my mind…”

“…Your taxes slipped your—”

“Look at me, look at me… Does that really surprise either of us?”

“…IRS’s going to strangle you.”

“He absolutely is.”

[ask-the-usa-manor]

America— Did you live with England when you were under his rule?

“From ages 5 to 21,” America recalled, “Although I’m… fairly certain he saw me as more of an ugly family heirloom he couldn’t get rid of than his ‘roommate.’ Or his child.

He kicked me out and placed me in North America when he found out about Ginny and Poppy… Decided that ‘having two out-of-wedlock granddaughters from his already disgraced son was something that needed to be hidden across the Atlantic’ before his reputation took a blow from the rumors and gossip. So I had to take them, alone.

It wasn’t… fun. I really had no idea what I was doing. I… I wasn’t able to give them everything I thought they deserved, but… I tried. I loved them. I still do.”

[ask-the-usa-manor]

How do you guys interact with your minor cities? Like the cities of Bristol Tennessee and Bristol Virginia, which are two different cities right on the state line?

Also Florida. What's your favriote beer?

Tennessee looked up from his guitar, surprised, “They’re two different people??”

“You… didn’t know that?” Virginia asked incredulously, “The twins have been around for… years.”

“…That explains… everything…” The Volunteer State blinked, “I thought he just had some form of memory loss.”

“Angry Chair Brewing’s Barrel Aged Imperial German Chocolate Cupcake STOUT!!!” Florida declared with an unprecedented fire of confidence in his eyes.

[ask-the-usa-manor]

How's little Virginia doing? She's pretty serious, so being coddled by papa America must be taking a toll on her. She'd probably be running away and trying to hide from him

“Even if I lost a couple hundred years of my life, I still want to keep my dignity. But I can’t hide,” Virginia pouted, “Dad can’t take care of all these kids by himself.”

“Aw. It’s okay, Ginny. You can leave whenever you wa—”

“No!” Virginia immediately shook her head, huddling closer to America and definitely not hiding the fact that she wanted to hang out with him (and fawn over her younger siblings in the process), “I’m alright.”

[ask-the-usa-manor]

So… England’s America’s dad? 👀

Virginia nodded, “Yes, he—”

“I’m gonna be real here,” Massachusetts interrupted, glancing around cautiously as he took the Anon, lowering his voice, “I’m pretty sure ‘Gramps’ just nabbed him from Tsenacommacah without having any blood relation. Don’t tell either of them I said that.”

“Mass!”

“What? It’s a perfectly reasonable theory! They look nothing alike!”