whollydevoted

[whollydevoted]

being praised is the dream. start off subtle. saying "good job" when i did well on a task or assignment, watch my face light up from just your words. then start to get increasingly more overbearing with it, saying i've done good and being praised for the smallest of things. soon i'll be changing my whole lifestyle just for your praise and affection. i'll be heartbroken if you ever call me bad! i need to be your good boy/girl! and i'll do anything to get your validation.

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

[whollydevoted]

theres always someone else put above me... siigh one day i'll be made to feel important without having to be the one to make myself feel that way

[whollydevoted]

this is fucking killing me , actually . i listen to everybody , i stick around through everything , i tear myself apart to help people and this is what i get ?? radio fucking silence after false promises. "im here for you, i just never say it much!". when the fuck am i ever told im loved or valued RANDOMLY. why must i always trigger that response, is it that hard for people to say it to me ? is that it ? like genuinely , every fucking day its a new burden on me and a new thing i have to take care of . hours of not being spoken to by anyone and the only fucking time i am during that period of silence is because someone needs to rant . i feel sick to my stomach , ive been crying for hours , and still nobody gives a damn . im collapsing, completely crumbling to the ground and nobody is there to pick me up because nobody actually cares.

[whollydevoted]

still comforting people while crying is insane oh my god i cant stop . i need to be euthanized .

[whollydevoted]

im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry please forgive me

[whollydevoted]

Pathetic, isn't it? To be spending my night crying after you as if you care. Lmfaoo!!

[whollydevoted]

And YEP I was right. I mean absolutely nothing to them.

[whollydevoted]

I’m very tired of having to beg everyone to stay

[whollydevoted]

Doesn't matter how much effort I put in, right? It's hard to love me.

[whollydevoted]

I just want someone to comfort me and love me and need me. Actually love me and need me. Not just say they do. I'm tired.

[whollydevoted]

What if I killed myself over this? Just kidding. I know you wouldn't care

[whollydevoted]

Bitches be like "omg I'm finally getting better!!" and then another fucking event™ happens and they're trying to kill themselves again.

It's me, I'm bitches.

[whollydevoted]

relationship status screaming my lungs out in agony

[whollydevoted]

i feel like a page printed from a printer that ran out of ink

[whollydevoted]

so now i beg of you, depollute me

let me feel your wrath, baby

go ahead and sink your teeth into me, suck the sin straight out of my bloodstream

and erase the impureness from my body

make me saintly, disguise my immorality

masquerade me as someone much kinder

[whollydevoted]

[whollydevoted]

oops i overshared and made them uncomfortable because i need to feel seen on every aspect of my being. surely this won’t happen again