#UR A SWINE

[fiiction-fixates]

WOOOOOOOOOOOO

[cloudyskies25]

If I see one more Percy Jackson fanfic make up random shit about Greek American culture I’m going to LOSE MY SHIT!!

[arkaniist]

[minding my business walking around the house]

[suddenly remembers how spain got absolutely robbed two years in a row after two of the most technically impressive performances i've ever seen at eurovision]

[picks myself up off the ground, wipes my tears, carries on]

[maplesyrupsainz]

you know that fic that was like logan x baker reader CAN YOH DO A PT2 WHERE WE ARE THE BFF AND WE GET WITH DANIEL BECAUSE WE MET THROUGH THEM

ahh omg i love this idea tysm for requesting 🥹 i hope it's all that u wanted it to be ! <3

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙we couldnt help it | DR3˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: daniel ricciardo x faceless y/n reader (she/her)

genre: social media au, whirlwind romance

warnings: mainly fluff but some obvious sexual innuendo but brief & no smut or anything

summary: in which her best friend's new relationship led to something good for her

a/n: omg i love this request so much hehe u dnt rly need to read pt1 but it maybe give context to some things😊 (for context y/n = yourbff from pt1, & yourbff = y/n from pt1)

fc: various blonde girls from pinterest

song

my masterlist

part 1!!!

instagram ->

yourbff

liked by logansargeant, yourusername, and 23,839 others

yourbff i like shiny things but i'd marry u with paper rings 🩷🪽

tagged: logansargeant

view all 13,847 comments

logansargeant i love you

yourbff i love u 🍰

yourusername this could be me & daniel ricciardo but u insist on keeping us apart for some reason

danielricciardo are we being cock blocked?

yourusername AM I BEING PRANKED RIGHT NOW

logansargeant you're welcome

whatsapp ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and 3,924 others

yourusername yes i finally committed to blonde hair full time 👱‍♀️

tagged: yourbff, friend1, friend2

view all 331 comments

yourbff omg i fancy u so much

yourusername wow being blonde is so powerful got you confessing your love for me already

friend1 think it's ur boobs in that corset over the blonde hair but whatever helps u sleep at night xoxo

yourbff LOL no comment!!

logansargeant who are u trying to impress

logansargeant daniel ricciardo?

yourusername shut ur mouth u swine

yourusername i miss y/bff/n's ex

yourbff too far

logansargeant i am wounded

yourusername good

danielricciardo heyy

liked by yourbff, logansargeant

yourusername good bye

whatsapp ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris, and 1,593 others

yourusername professional third wheel

tagged: logansargeant, yourbff

view all 743 comments

logansargeant i just laughed out loud at this

yourusername i know im in ur kitchen i heard u

yourbff u couldn't think of a less creepy way to word that

landonorris i could be ur fourth wheel

logansargeant there's no way

yourbff STAY AWAY FROM HER

danielricciardo spot taken

landonorris oh my bad

yourusername no it isnt the spot isnt taken

yourusername u can come back

user1 what have i just stumbled upon

yourusername i beg u close ur eyes

twitter ->

whatsapp ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, alex_albon, and 872 others

yourbff ur being wooed arent u

yourusername i want to say no

yourusername but i would be lying

yourbff me & logan are shrieking & yelling

yourusername CALM DOWN

landonorris damn it

yourusername LOL

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 66,904 others

danielricciardo friday nights 💤

view all 3,848 comments

landonorris this is the girliest post u've ever made

danielricciardo dont blame me for knowing the female gaze

yourusername this is shocking

danielricciardo when u know u know

user4 what is happening

user5 danny got himself a rebound or what

user6 she looks so trashy😭

yourbff giggling & kicking my feet over this

whatsapp—

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by yourbff, friend1, and 1,002 others

yourbff speechless

yourusername look away!!! thts my man

yourbff UR MAN??? Y/N??

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, yourbff, and 9,284 others

yourusername vibess 😐

tagged: danielricciardo, yourbff

view all 1,384 comments

danielricciardo why the long face

yourusername kind of rude dont u think?

danielricciardo no i dont 😐 do you? 😐

user7 no way

user8 hard launching already

user9 this feels fake

yourbff i am being so casual about this

logansargeant no she isnt

user10 i love that y/bff/n is a fangirl like us😭

logansargeant im taking credit for whatever this is

danielricciardo whatever this is? this is clearly 'vibess 😐'

yourusername danny are you really upset by my emoji choice?

danielricciardo no

logansargeant he is

THE END 🤍

[hayleythesugarbowl]

I remembered a video from Courtney and Shaynes wedding party when they did the bet on it high school musical by the pool and Spencer was there. What if like Spencer is a huge goof for those movies and does a dance like hsm3 where Troy and Gabriella danced in the rain! 😭

ahh this is so cute and so spencer coded. new fantasy unlocked: dancing in the rain with spencer 🤭 i am not sure if you’re asking me to write this or not but if so, i am not familiar with hsm at all (i know, i know, call me an uncultured swine it’s ok) so i think this wonderful idea would be better served with another author if that’s the case!! have the best of days, sending lots of thoughts abt spencer ur way xx🎀

[urdadsceilingfan]

Imagining ur reverse portal au but with the episode Land Before Swine and instead of Mabel blowing up on Stan for lying about leaving Waddles outside, she can go off on Ford being too busy to let the pig inside. Maybe she can let out some stuff she’s been keeping in like “Just because I love something that you don’t care about doesn’t mean its not important! Now Waddles could be dead. My pig could be dead but at least you get to keep your dumb mysteries (points at the sap covered dinosaurs Ford was ogling at). You can have them!”

Ford wouldn’t even come up with a lie or anything to help his situation just pure shame in not being able to look after a pig

Dipper himself too even if Mabel didn’t directly ask him but he probably knew about it

Ford will have to fight off a pterodactyl and earn back Mabel’s trust

It’s a good thing he (almost) always carries a weapon with him

[swine-girl]

hi!! you can call me swine! im a trans-fem doing what i love in the internet, im in a committed relationship with @viejo-meado so no more nudes on command for the time being, but I'm still gonna upload them here!, my nudes are all under #t4t, other posts will be under #bark, #my pics or #journal

i have a lot of kinks and i dont usually tag them so be aware!! if you're here you can see some things that may be upseting, mainly cnc, somno and a little bit of gore, but just a little, as a treat.

other than that be +18 to interact with me and have your age in ur bio!!

dni: all asholes i deem as such, obvs terfs and alike

[emilsgrippers]

I hope everyone I don’t like is dead by tomorrow morning. Like they just die the second they fall asleep.

Fuck u all . And if ur one of the people im talking about and you’re lucky enough to wake up tomorrow then I’ll come fucking kill you myself . Goddamn loser.

This is exactly how I look typing this. Say ur final words you pathetic swines who have wronged or upset me in the past.

[new-nork]

@twworque @shiba8dango @kettle-frog

[loonarii]

SPACE.COWBOY (my imagined ITZY comeback)

I’ve made a couple posts about JYP’s shitty management of ITZY, so I decided to do a little thought experiment in what direction I would take ITZY’s discography and aesthetics.

I decided to give them a full album because it’s 2023 and no one should be releasing mini albums this late in their career (this goes for everyone, not just itzy). The album, which I have entitled ‘SPACE.COWBOY’, has 10 tracks, including 1 English pre-release single, 1 Korean title track, two promoted b-sides, and six more b-sides.

For the concept, I decided to draw inspiration from the aesthetics of ‘Cowboy Bebop’ which I referenced in the album name. I really wanted a space aesthetic for ITZY, but I didn’t want it to be just aespa part 2, so I decided a 90s space Faye Valentine aesthetic was the move. Also, ginger Yeji, pink hair Chaeryeong, blonde Yuna, black hair Ryujin and Lia is a must :)

Anyway, into the tracklist!!!

(1) LOG-IN [Fifty Fifty]

When I first heard this song a couple years back, I was struck by how ITZY it sounded. I love it as an album opener, and I think ITZY would body a choreography to it.

(2) YEPPI YEPPI [aespa] (TITLE TRACK)

Same goes for this song, I think it sounds SO ITZY, it’s very evocative of their Dalla Dalla - Icy era, which is exactly the sound I want to hear from them again. This song is so timeless, so fun, and such a perfect ITZY title track.

(3) 3.14159 [Lexie Liu] (English Pre-Release)

I fucking love Lexie Liu, and this song is one of my favourites from her. It’s very whimsical, very psychedelic, and very high energy, which is exactly what ITZY does best. This song has the creativity their last few singles have been lacking. I think Yuna especially would OWN this track.

(4) YALLA [WJSN] (Promoted B-Side)

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS SONG SOONER?! I imagine Chaeryeong being the centre for this song, she has the perfect energy for it. I can definitely see this song going viral on K-Pop TikTok, I love it as a promoted B-Side.

(5) Cast Pearls Before Swine [Purple Kiss]

This is quintessential ITZY. I can see Lia performing this song so clearly, and I think it thematically references their debut self love concept just the right amount. I just really love this song ok, go stream it.

(6) MAGICIAN [Lexie Liu] (Promoted B-Side)

Can you tell I love Lexie Liu yet? This one has a chorus along similar lines to YALLA, and it's so addictive. This is another Yuna type song for me, but I also think Ryujin would be such a stand out on this. I don’t see it being in Mandarin for ITZY, but the hook is mostly onomatopoeia so I don’t think a language change would ruin it at all.

(7) The Great Mermaid [LE SSERAFIM]

I admit, I didn’t see the vision for this song when it first came out, but OH MY GOD do I get it now. I can definitely see this one for ITZY, especially that killer post chorus.

(8) YUCK [Charli XCX]

Charli XCX and ITZY are such a good mix, I couldn’t help giving them one of her most underrated pop anthems. This one has Ryujin written all over it

(9) LUCID [Rina Sawayama] (Promoted B-Side)

Did you really think I wasn’t going to include a Rina song? And this one especially is fucking amazing. Realistically I know the lyrics would be different for a K-Pop release, but just the UK dance-pop vibes alone are so fun. Somi did it with Fast-Forward, and as a Brit it's so funny to see idols release stuff that wouldn’t be out of place on the radio here. Yeji would eat this song up, but IMAGINE THE CHOREOGRAPHY.

(10) LOG-OUT [4s4ki]

Other than the obvious nice parallels with the album intro title, I think this song is such a fun album closer for ITZY. I hate that groups like ITZY consistently release ballads as their album closer, like they have no business singing in a bpm that slow. Obviously I don’t think they would sing in Japanese, but the pure chaos of this track would be such a fun experiment for them. (This one was for u @shyreol)

@a-moth-to-the-light im so interested to see ur thoughts on my made up album, and for ur one if u end up doing it :)

[borathae]

ok finally doing this after a nap

Chapter 3

What is wrong with me *me 24/7, ALSO YES WHAT WAS ALL THAT???

Ever since you set foot into this estate, your brain went into a total frenzy YES EXACTLY AND it seems like she can remember hmmm

Why does everything here look so ancient? YOU NEED TO READ FANFICS to learn to live (except we dont get lucky yn parts just the unlucky embarrassing parts but thank god we aint dying every 5 chapter like yn)

You remember drinking one glass of wine. the said glass of wine:

It is totally normal to forget your date’s name after sleeping in his guestroom never been on a date, but i forgot someone's name after sitting next to them all day and realized after class while talking to bestie and had to wait till attendance next day -_-

ok the door is still locked. he told her to keep them locked and she did, but opened it for a sec and locked it again during the night. and the entire teleporting happened. this is a bit confusing hmmm. like opening it for a sec caused the change, but she locked it again. then how did they get her inside again? the bruise is there so it means it was real. the lock must have some magic and opening it during night causes it to go away?? i will think later lol

Did you punch your own throat in your sleep oof

Why did he know where to look exactly it wasnt a dream babe

istg im about to bitch slap this bitchless dude (TAE I LOVE U DONT TAKE IT TO THE HEART)

You should take better care of your belongings Kim Taehyung damn

He creeps me out honestly speaking all of them are creepy, yoongi is 10% less

just like that all your worries are wiped away like magic. like magic or with magic 👀👀(were u silent or silenced)

your knees are buckling like crazy THIS WILL BREAK ME THIS IS GONNA BREAK ME

Okay not going to lie, this was kind of cool you know whats more cooler??? jimin feeding his cycle 😂 THAT REMINDS ME OF JIN RIDING THE CYCLE HANDS FREE *fans myself

You snort, “so very humble.” ikr sOoOo HuMbLe

hmm usually you see cats sitting on horses, chilling. yoongles must be a rare kitty

Tell me again, why are you studying?” seriously dude must be bored as fuck to study, or started to forget cuz its beeen toooo looong

hold on what if some old being makes some theories and is "killed/disappeared" and later, with a different identity, studies his own theories in college 😭 and continues with it lol

It earned you a scholarship, it clearly must be well written.” or was it something to bring her to them??? 👀 *sus

The entrance exam stole my sanity from me. Even after a week of completing it I still felt jittery.” what type of students go there? what type of university is that? very weird

sunlight was just too bright for his eyes, DONT BE AN UNCULTURED SWINE, THATS WHEN UR SUPPOSED TO TWITCH AND SAY I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

Emma left, she won’t come back again EMMA DIED FOR SURE OOF

It was a clean and painless end whats that supposed to mean mr.dracula?

Taehyung was a man of such humour ikr him in interviews 😭

Taehyung knew such peculiar stories about places and that doesnt seem weird???

the rain part was soo cute it could me giggling and listening too still with you

wow the honesty was cool, though there is many secrets, some parts feels really raw.

we are both pick-me girls then BAHAHA PLS *starts playing pd48 pick me

they are so cute im gonna die

(the way i started slightly mad at tae and then ended up simping, sighs)

THEY ARE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER DATE YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

i cant wait for 2seokkook's pov and her talking to them woohoo

i love how smoothly its written, like everything just flows nicely, the scenes and dialogues, its like those nice cozy well directed movies that you watch with pillows and blanket and rested face, body and mind

its only been 3 chapters, obviously the suspense wouldnt make me grip my pillow yet but its already made me clutch my blanket/pearls lol

jjdafjs it took me so long to figure out how the wine pic happened HAHAHA this is such a funny idea help fjadjfs 😭😂

What is wrong with me *me 24/7, ALSO YES WHAT WAS ALL THAT???

ISTFG WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS ESTATE???

Ever since you set foot into this estate, your brain went into a total frenzy YES EXACTLY AND it seems like she can remember hmmm

like the suspicion is growiinnggg

Why does everything here look so ancient? YOU NEED TO READ FANFICS to learn to live (except we dont get lucky yn parts just the unlucky embarrassing parts but thank god we aint dying every 5 chapter like yn)

it doesn't make sense to you yet probably but I wanna be SA!OC so bad jfasdjf

It is totally normal to forget your date’s name after sleeping in his guestroom never been on a date, but i forgot someone's name after sitting next to them all day and realized after class while talking to bestie and had to wait till attendance next day -_-

girliepop me all the time, I forget names so easily (the same with song titles FAFAJDS like I kid you not I even forgot BTS song titles sometimes like it's so bad)

ok the door is still locked. he told her to keep them locked and she did, but opened it for a sec and locked it again during the night. and the entire teleporting happened. this is a bit confusing hmmm. like opening it for a sec caused the change, but she locked it again. then how did they get her inside again? the bruise is there so it means it was real. the lock must have some magic and opening it during night causes it to go away?? i will think later lol

hmhmhmhm interesting theory indeed mhmhmmh or perhaps 👀 someone made her lock the door again and then think everything was just a dream 👀 mhmhmhm

You should take better care of your belongings Kim Taehyung damn

"belongings" LIKE THE ICK

He creeps me out honestly speaking all of them are creepy, yoongi is 10% less

JFJADSJF YES jhfahsdhf I agree fjadjfa

just like that all your worries are wiped away like magic. like magic or with magic 👀👀(were u silent or silenced)

INDEED LIKE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER???

Okay not going to lie, this was kind of cool you know whats more cooler??? jimin feeding his cycle 😂 THAT REMINDS ME OF JIN RIDING THE CYCLE HANDS FREE *fans myself

omg hahahaha this scene 😭😭 he is such a goof I love him 😭😭 Seokjin is honestly so hot I need to inhale him

hmm usually you see cats sitting on horses, chilling. yoongles must be a rare kitty

*cries* he is indeed a kitty

Tell me again, why are you studying?” seriously dude must be bored as fuck to study, or started to forget cuz its beeen toooo looong

LMOAOAO FOR REAL LIKE FADHF couldn't be mE FJASDJF

hold on what if some old being makes some theories and is "killed/disappeared" and later, with a different identity, studies his own theories in college 😭 and continues with it lol

👀 interesting ohohooh

It earned you a scholarship, it clearly must be well written.” or was it something to bring her to them??? 👀 *sus

OOOOOH IMAGINEEEEE 👀👀

The entrance exam stole my sanity from me. Even after a week of completing it I still felt jittery.” what type of students go there? what type of university is that? very weird

IT IS INDEED VERY WEIRD ALL OF IT 👀

sunlight was just too bright for his eyes, DONT BE AN UNCULTURED SWINE, THATS WHEN UR SUPPOSED TO TWITCH AND SAY I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

lmaoaooaoao in her defence I have really sensitive eyes too and can barely stay in the sun without my eyes ACHING jfadsjfj so it IS possible

Emma left, she won’t come back again EMMA DIED FOR SURE OOF

👀 mhmhmhmmh

It was a clean and painless end whats that supposed to mean mr.dracula?

LIKE HELLO WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER????

Taehyung was a man of such humour ikr him in interviews 😭

I love him 😭😭

Taehyung knew such peculiar stories about places and that doesnt seem weird???

kfadjsfasj she is just here for a good time not a long time lmaooa

wow the honesty was cool, though there is many secrets, some parts feels really raw. they are so cute im gonna die (the way i started slightly mad at tae and then ended up simping, sighs) THEY ARE GONNA HAVE ANOTHER DATE YIPPEE YIPPEE YIPPEE

fjadjfjad I love how you switched instnatly JFJADSJF THIS IS SO ME WHEN SANGUIS TAE FJADSJFJ

i love how smoothly its written, like everything just flows nicely, the scenes and dialogues, its like those nice cozy well directed movies that you watch with pillows and blanket and rested face, body and mind. its only been 3 chapters, obviously the suspense wouldnt make me grip my pillow yet but its already made me clutch my blanket/pearls lol

gaaah thank youuu <3 I'm so happy that you're having such a good time with it heheheh istfg I love reading your comments, they're so awesome heheheh 🥺😭💜💜

[oopsarboreal]

I want to play a game.

Though I’m anonymous, my identity is within grasp,

Oceans between us, I speak through an ask,

Sendeth a meme both you and I know,

Where one is a bitch, the other, a hoe

I bestow two hints, so listen wisely.

I will narrow it down quite precisely.

Hint one:

The username you’re looking for is that which rhymes,

With the noise of an animal that is hog or swine.

Hint two:

A splash of colour, a sparkle or sprinkle,

Iconic for me is the periwinkle.

Discover my identity, and a prize is yours!

You have only one guess,

So choose the correct course.

Send a meme as your answer!

Good luck equine

puts my finking cap on

OINK OINK @doinkadoinkk

SHLORPS you

ur the bitch btw 🫶

[aviscarrentals]

assign ur moots as mid century illnesses

-mclgf

noelle- hysteria (obvious)

soap- the plague (…also obvious)

lea- the flu (simple but mighty)

liyah- swine flu (australian)

mclgf- syphilis (i’ll keep this one to myself)

[menelaiad]

I just saw ur Cti/Eus and l think you're the greatest person to ever exist bc I HAVE BEEN SHIPPING THEM FOREVER OMG!???? No hate to Cti's husband but like... I don't think she likes him

look. we can justify it by saying that eurylochus (ctimene's husband) was a clown. that just bullied odysseus throughout the odyssey. so much so that odysseus legit thought about killing him but didn't cause he's his bro in law

Eurylochus alone sought to hold back all my comrades, and he spoke, and addressed them with winged words: “‘Ah, wretched men, whither are we going? Why are you so enamoured of these woes, as to go down to the house of Circe, who will change us all to swine, or wolves, or lions, that so we may guard her great house perforce? Even so did the Cyclops, when our comrades went to his fold, and with them went this reckless Odysseus. For it was through this man's folly that they too perished.’ “So he spoke, and I pondered in heart, whether to draw my long sword from beside my stout thigh, and therewith strike off his head, and bring it to the ground, near kinsman of mine by marriage though he was; but my comrades one after another sought to check me with gentle words

AND HE'S ALSO THE GUY THAT GETS THEM TO EAT THE CATTLE OF THE SUN

 And meanwhile Eurylochus began to give evil counsel to my comrades: “‘Hear my words, comrades, for all your evil plight. All forms of death are hateful to wretched mortals, but to die of hunger, and so meet one's doom, is the most pitiful. Nay, come, let us drive off the best of the kine of Helios and offer sacrifice to the immortals who hold broad heaven. And if we ever reach Ithaca, our native land, we will straightway build a rich temple to Helios Hyperion and put therein many goodly offerings. And if haply he be wroth at all because of his straight-horned kine, and be minded to destroy our ship, and the other gods consent, rather would I lose my life once for all with a gulp at the wave, than pine slowly away in a desert isle.’ “So spoke Eurylochus, and the rest of my comrades gave assent. 

and then he dies for his clownery.

SO PERSONALLY. i think ctimene deserves to live out some happy years with her childhood friend that she was raised with and was very close to and happy with and her parents clearly loved. and i think odysseus will also be chill with it cause her other husband pissed him off and was stupid.

we can have the: together as children but she was sent to marry someone else and we now live in different worlds but OH we've been reunited lets make up for time lost time and be happy because ive always loved you ship of our dreams.

[chocos-universe]

may request a lee!scm and ler!wizard from the plushie vid pls? i feel like the wizard using magic could be interesting/not forcing

love ur work btw

Aww! Thank youuu! Here's ur fic!:3

Accidental Spell

___________________________________________

--The Wizard did one of his stupid spells... yet, it didn't go as planned--

___________________________________________

|Lee - Suction Cup Man -- Ler - Wizard|

___________________________________________

FT - Penny and Gina

___________________________________________

Suction Cup Man was BORED today! He was quite literally inside of his pile of suction cups. He didn't get to do anything since Guy Business wasn't really at work this past couple of weeks due to a vacation, so climbing his tower was boring. When he was chilling in his pool of suction cups, he heard his phone go off. Gina bought him one yesterday. He struggled but managed to tumble out to his little table as he picked up his phone from it and opened the text Gina sent

'Dude! Did you not hear at all?'

'Here wat, G?:/'

Ginny💕✨️ is typing...

'Me and Penny found this weird article about some abandoned tower, we noticed something you may like!!'

'O did u now? Tell Penny i said hi:)'

Ginny💕✨️ is typing....

'She says hello. And yeah! Look at the image I sent.'

Suction Cup Man sighed and opened the image Gina sent. A news thing? Really, Gina? Oh well...

'"Reports find an abandoned tower deep hidden in CreamPie-Mation forest. They say at the top there are Omega Suction Cups, and whoever gets ahold of them holds magical sucking power!"'

Suction Cup Man blinked, and his eyes lightened. Suction cups are finally getting the recognition they deserve?

'R you beeing fr??'

Ginny💕✨️ is typing...

'Yeah, bud! You were bored all day, and I happened to find it!'

'Woh... wel! Cya wen I get bak!'

Suction Cup Man then turned off his phone and threw it on the table. He grabbed his suction cups, his helmet, and his parachute. He was ready for action!

Suction Cup Man climbed the tower to the top, struggling with birds, but he managed. "God... I should've packed a lunch." He muttered as he made it to a glass window. His eyes widened as he gasped in amazement. There it was. The odd looking bowser Omega Suction Cups. Weird... but cool! "There they are..." he managed to sigh out as he looked around for an opening. "Quietly now..." he opened the window, opening it slowly. Apparently, glass is fragile, and when it hit something, it shattered everywhere. "...Why do shows do this to me--"

"SSSTOP RIGHT THERE, MORTAL SWINE!"

A voice echoed from the tower.

"For these magical suction cups are miiiiineeeee!!!" Some weird dude slipped in, his eyes pure white as his hands balled into fists, doing weird gestures and a pose.

"What the fuck--...." Suction Cup Man raised a brow "Wait-- is that cosplay, or are you like... a REAL wizard?"

"A FOOLISH suggestion..."

"You fuckin--"

"Does THIS answer your question?!" The dude pulled out a lil magic wand and pointed it at him, the cap falling off as flowers popped out from it

Was this guy high or... that weird? "Wuh-- no!"

"It matters not how I'm perceived... you seek the Omega Suction Cups! But must leave..."

"Untold sucking power lies behind that glass..." There was a short pause. "I'm taking them, you stupid ass!!"

The Wizard pauses for a moment, his hands behind his back. "Fuck you." He said in a normal tone, his pupils showing. "Fuck you-- that's not a rhyme! I KNEW you were a fake!!" Suction Cup Man pointed a finger at the man accusingly. "Calm yourself, fool! You don't know what's at stake!!" The Wizard warned, doing weird ass gestures again. There was a short pause. "That's it, I'm comin' in." Suction Cup Man said as he took the first two steps in before being caught in a pink trap like thing. The Wizards eyes turned back to pure white.

"Violent dumbass, heart so rotten. Become soft with a heart of cotton. A twisted soul who yelled and swore.. cause a ruckus nevermore!"

The orb power ball thing in the Wizards hands exploded as a white light was seen outside of the windows for a moment. A smoke was in the room, but it cleared quite quickly. "That ought to calm your inner fire. Now you may start a life where you--" He was cut off by a squeal of a laughing fit. "Inspire...? I-- ohh... shit..." floating pink hands and feathers were absolutely destroying the asshole in front of him. "WH--WHAHAHAHAHAHAT DID YOU DOOHOHOHOHOHO?! *snort* SHIHIHIHIHIT!!" Suction Cup Man collapsed to the ground, pounding his fist on the floor. His sides, underarms, knees, neck, stomach, you name it, it was being violated. (Besides his feet since shoes). "Don't be mad..." The Wizard said in a hesitant voice. "DOHOHOHOHON'T BE MAHAHAD?!" Suction Cup Man squeaked as his face flushed. This was no good impression for the both of them. "WHAT-- WHAHAHAHAT THE FUCK IS THIHIHIHIHIHIS?!" his legs/feet kicked, trying to squirm out of it but to no use. "I-I just... wow... I fucked this up." "YOU THIHIHIHIHIHIHINK?!" "I'm usually better, I swear!" "DAHAHAHAHAHAHAMN IT!! F-FUHUHUHUCKING UNDO THIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIS DUMBLEDIHIHIHIHIHICK!! *hic*" "IIIII'll get on that..." Wizard slid to his book, picking it up, and flipping through pages. "C-CAHAHAHAHAHAN'T YOU GO ANY FAHAHAHAHAHAHASTER?!" "Patience, child!" The Wizard huffed, scanning through pages "...More feathers if you're under the weather?--" The Wizard accidentally casted a spell as more feathers appeared. "SHIHIHIHIHIT-- H-HEHEHEHEHEHEY!! WHAHAHAHAT GIHIHIHIHIHIHIVES?!" "I didn't mean that--!" Wizard stumbled, his eyes now darting around his book. "BUHUHUHUHUHULLSHIT!! MAKE IT STOP-- MAHAHAKE IT STOHOHOP!!" "Working on it!" Wizard repeated, flipping through pages again. Curse it all! "I don't think I can find one..." "WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAT?!" "I don't know! I can't find one! Maybe it'll stop in time..." "THAHAHAHAHAHAT ISN'T COHOHOHOHOHOHOMFORTING!!" Suction Cup Man had tears in the corner of his eyes... "Not my fault you're ticklish as hell..." Wizard mumbled, crossing his arms. "HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEY!" "What?! It's true! Look at you!" "SHUHUHUHUHUHUT *hic* UHUHUHUHUHUP!! NOOOOHOHOHOHOHOOO *squeak*" "I'm not even doing anything, and you're blushing like a maniac..." Suction Cup Man's face turned even more red "STOHOHOHOHOHOHOP--" "What did I do?!" "SPEHEHEHEHEHEAK!!" "But you just--" "NOHOHOHOT-- *squeal* WHAT I MEHEHEHEHEHEHEANT!! AAHAHAHA!" Wizard raised an eyebrow in confusion. What did he do? Well... he casted a spell, yeah, but that was it! "Then what DID you mean?!" "NAHAHA!!" "Excuse me...?" tears just streamed down Suction Cup Man's cheeks, him burying his face in his arm "?-"

2 minutes and 18 seconds later

The hands and feathers finally disappeared, letting Suction Cup Man curl up and breathe. "Ah! Finally... it's over!" Wizard had a proud smile on his face. "Shihit... y-yeheah... n-n--nehever... ugh... NEVER again." Suction Cup Man caught his breath as he shakily got up, dusting himself off now fixing his helmet. He cleared his throat. "Yeah! That's fucking right! I'm fine! Now gimme the Omega Suction Cups!" Suction Cup Man demanded, putting his hand on his hip. "Wuh... no! Are you stupid?" "NO! I'm Suction Cup Man!!" There was a pause. "Not today." Was the final thing he heard Wizard say before he got teleported away

Gina and her cousin, Penny, was in her (Gina's) apartment, talking. That's when Suction Cup Man appeared out of nowhere and fell on Gina's bed. "...The fuck? You good?" Gina asked as she sat next to her best friend. "Was your... adventure eventful?" Penny asked with a slight smile.

"...You have no idea..."

❤️End🖤

[ratsoh-writes]

i’m a number 1 swine hater

let the ship sink

GRR, anyway I’m drawing a comic of wine and calliope’s interaction

@under-art-reblogs

Tattling on ur *ss rn