#UR A SHITTY DAD AL

[canongf]

m'gonna fight eddie's dad. btw.

[mysterycitrus]

You’ve talked about how fandom treats jtodd & dick, so what are your thoughts on how fandom treats dick & tim?

There’s this post that’s asking about people’s batfamily hot takes, and I was scrolling through the reblogs bc I love drama. One of the “hot takes” was calling dick a bad brother bc of the bruce lost in time comic era. Specifically saying that fandom excuses dick’s shitty behavior towards Tim bc his dad (Bruce) died and because of the stress of taking care of the city by himself. While Tim was hurting because of the deaths of Kon, Bart, Jack, Steph, and Donna (idk why they included Donna as Tim’s grief and not Dick’s??) and therefore Tim’s & Dick’s hurt and stress aren’t the same. According to this person, Tim was going through it and Dick was making it worse.

Now, I’m not going to claim I know how everything went down since I haven’t read those comics yet, but this feels like a gross misunderstanding of the arc.

From what I’ve seen, fandom tends to invalidate and villainize Dick during this time in favor of Tim. Dick is not being excused, in fact he’s being blamed for things that are either not his fault or just made up in order to whump Tim. Idk that “hot take” just rubbed me the wrong way because of how one-sided it was, and I guess it made me wonder about your thoughts about Dick & Tim since I tend to agree with your opinions lmao

fundamentally the issue is this — dick grayson existing and being a good person is an obstacle for fanon angst. dick grayson being a good brother means that jtodd can’t just slot into his pre-existing relationships with tim and cass and damian. dick grayson being a good friends means that he’s close with the titans and the league because he’s competent and trusted. dick grayson being kind means that he didn’t abandon tim, he was literally trying to keep everything together after bruce’s death.

not to try and make it a grief olympics but as much as people talk about everyone tim has lost (and i think they must have been talking about dana winters in that post?) people seem to forget that dick’s city just got nuked + the fallout of nightwing 93 + donna dying + jade dying + the titans falling apart + he was just locked in arkham himself. like… his dad has just died, he’s had to fight off his brother who’d just tried to kill both tim and damian and been given custody over a kid who doesn’t trust him

red robin 2009 has done irreversible harm to tim drakes character. people using that as the starting point for reading about him is bad. it’s a comic about a grief spiral, and it isn’t an amazing depiction of him either. but even then, people just seem to love straight up fabricating what’s in it.

dick tells tim that therapy might be a good idea. tim tells dick that he’s leaving because he trusts dick to let him do what he needs to do. even at his lowest point, dick is who he trusts most. those takes that’re like “tim drake was at his lowest point and then jtodd sees him and realises that he’s cool actually and they bond #jasontoddisagoodbrother #dickgraysonisabadbrother etc” because they like to posit that dick threatened to throw tim in arkham are so silly

that’s even ignoring how people just straight up lie about damian’s actions and how weird everyone is about ra’s al ghul. no, tim isn’t the only one he refers to as detective aside from bruce. no, tim isn’t one step away from being a mass murderer. no, damian didn’t try to kill tim— he was reacting to tim being suspicious of him. tim was beefing with a ten year old. why are u being so mean to the ten year old? (We Know Why)

ur right — it is extremely one-sided. im not one to pretend that canon is flawless by any means, but acting as though fanon is better just because someone online came up with it is also stupid. there are many many racist undertones with how jtodd and tim are interpreted, both separately and with each other. a lot of it is yaoi baiting dynamics, that a lot of fans don’t seem to want to admit. i won’t comment on how white people writing jtodd as latino and tim as asian can be Bad but like…. it’s all tied up together. people want these two characters to have suffered the most, because that justifies everything fans want them to do. they want them to be wronged. they want their idea of justice in their name

[narcissusphant0m]

Soooo the new rude cartoon called hazbin show!

i enjoyed! but it doesn't mean that i don't have some thoughts on it,

in keep reading btw:

so let's do a quick look and rate the eps

Overture: honestly no thoughts about this one so 7.5/10

Radio Killed the Video Star: al and vox's duet go brrrrr!!!, and sir pen joined the chat 6/10

Scrambled Eggs: the girls(carm and velvet) are fighting!!! 6/10

Masquerade: You're a loser, baby~ 8.5/10

Dad Beat Dad: depressed dad and ace dad moment and spinel what are doing here!!! 7/10

Welcome to Heaven: adam you son of a-(and finally angel stand up fucking woohoo!!!) 6/10

Hello Rosie: goofy cannibal aunt is here!!! 5/10

The Show Must Go On: we must make sure you do not come back here again, niffty, WACK HIS PP!!! 7/10

and that's my vision!!! after 4 years since pilot is if feels sop refreshing to me i can tell, but it doesn't that i have some criticism about it and PUT UR PITCHFORKS DOWN IS NOT THOSE """CRITICMS""" I MEANT!!!, and i'm sure some of us can agree on those:

about pacing, yeah yeah i can see it in some episodes and some are too obvious

they can make adam still like douchebag without copypaste chaz's personality tho, at least he fucked lol

what even the fuck charlie didn't know veggie was a fallen angel??? like how the fuck she didn't noticed it?????

but this is s1 tho sooo i better take easy and i hope they fix some stuff in next ep, i hope s2 becoming more exiting as previous!

thank you for listening to my shitty bad typed review!

[rizah]

look i’m not saying that ppl 100% choose to pick their moral battles based on the popularity of said issue but... there is a Significant Possibility

[thefactsofthematter]

pls i wanna know about race and alberts death in ur new ghost fic

wonderful question!! tw ahead for: death, illness, and a slightly gory accident

(here’s a post about their backstories before they died btw)

albert died in a farming accident - his family got a new tractor, way bigger than their last one, and it was more difficult to drive than he expected… he hit a ditch and it rolled over and crushed him :( he’d already lost a couple fingers as a kid when he got his hand stuck in some machinery, so he just had shitty luck with accidents. his dad and brothers ended up giving up farming and moving out of the house within a year of his accident, too broken from losing little al.

(when i started the fic, i was planning for albert’s ghost to be stuck in the state he died in: all mangled and bloody! i decided that was too heavy for the vibe i ended up going for lol)

in typical didn’t really understand germ theory fashion, race claims that he died of a fever— this prompts a very long conversation where davey tries to diagnose his actual cause of death (“a fever isn’t a disease, racer, it’s a symptom, so you must have been sick with something else. what kind of fever did you have?” “idk dude the kind where you get really sick and you die?” “god this is never gonna work”)

in reality, race had meningococcal disease— meningitis and sepsis at the same time from a serious bacterial infection in his throat— and it killed him within like a day and a half of getting sick. the only symptom he really realized was happening was the high fever bc he was so out of it, and in the pre-antibiotic world, there was nothing his family could do but try to make him comfortable </3 they stayed in the house until they sold it to albert’s family years later, and always set a place at the table for race bc they missed him very dearly

[courtney-deserved-better]

whats ur writing schedule/process like! not in a “write faster” way, but i think once you mentioned writing in script form? and i like the way you wrote ur most recent fic! just curious bc ur works are just really good :)

this is a great question!!

if its not slippery slopes, ill usually get an idea for something and periodically jot down notes when they come to me until I feel like i have enough information to start writing (or if im just motivated), that's what i did for my horror challenge rewrite. and for stuff that's like... rewrites of an episode that aren't as character-focused as slippery slopes, i usually read the episode transcripts and try to replicate that total drama style with my own writing

for shorter oneshots, i usually just get a vague idea and run with it until i find a good ending spot, then i go back and clean it up a bit so the structure works

slippery slopes is an... interesting cycle. chapters are getting long enough that i cant just write them in one sitting any more (i think ch5 was the last chapter i did that for) and instead ill agonize over the beginning (always the hardest part to write for me) but once i get going with that i usually finish the chapter within a few days. then i reread the previous chapter to make sure it flows ok (and there aren't any contradictions) and then ill give myself a break where i dont do anything total drama related before coming back to edit and post. though before I do all that I type up notes and rough dialogue bits

and then once i post it it's like... a weight off my chest? like ive been purged or something?? idk its a weird sensation but im just like i Physically Cannot Write Anything For This Right Now and i don't start on the next chapter until that goes away. and then i either start the beginning and do nothing for a week before going back and finishing the chapter or i go into a manic state and write nonstop for a few days. right now i haven't reached a point where im ready to begin writing chapter 10 but i have a lot of notes for it.

(also as soon as i finish posting a chapter i try not to go on my laptop for like 12 hours so i don't obsessively refresh my email for comments. i love reading comments so much holy shit. please comment guys it makes fic authors feel so happy we will love you for it)

as for scripts: i am working on being a writer professionally, but specifically a playwright. writing in a script format comes more naturally to me than writing prose. funnily enough, i started posting fanfic just to practice my prose (and fix stuff in cobra kai that i didnt like) but things sort of... ended up here? idk man but im enjoying it.

right, so because writing in a script format is easier when im really struggling with a section in a fic ill usually scrap whatever i had and write it like a script, then translate that into prose. i was very excited to write the family videos for chapter 9 of slippery slopes, but i was Having Issues, so i redid it as a script and then rewrote that as prose. ill put the script version under the cut if you're interested in that.

but thank you so much for the question!! i do think my writing process is a bit unconventional but hey i think things are turning out well! if you have any more questions feel free to send them in!!

ok here is the last scene of ch 9 of slippery slopes in script format:

[SIERRA]

MOM: Hi honey! Omigosh this is so exciting! I bet you’re having such a great time! Especially since Chris is there! Is Chris watching this? Hi Chris! You know, I loooved you on that ice skating show. Your hair was fantastic! Well, it always is, haha. Do you really make your own hair gel? I’ve been trying to perfect the recipe but you’re just so hard to track down! Oh, you’re such a funny guy! I laughed sooo hard when you made all those jokes about marrying Chef.

Chef: hey!

Chris: ok just for the record, I wasn’t joking, we are married, Sierra tell your mom we’re married

Sierra: …can we just turn it off please

[COURTNEY]

DAD: Courtney, sayang, I know you’ve been going through a lot right now—

MOM: So you’d BETTER make it count. You’ve made it this far before, I want to see you getting all the way to the finale this time. And winning it. Enough moping about those hideous, good-for-nothing slackers! That’s what you get for hanging around freaks like them. You’re doing this for the million, now get the million. Is that clear?

ZARINA: And kick ass!

DAD: Zarina!

Video cuts out.

Alejandro: courtney you good?

Courtney: no, she’s right. Mama didn’t raise no quitter

Alejandro: [knows she’s still upset about duncan and gwen]

[ALEJANDRO]

MOM: Hola, Alejandro. We hope you are doing well, especially in such unsavory conditions. I’m glad to see you’ve made it to the final four— we expected nothing less, of course.

DAD: You have been utilizing your skills quite well. Though I wish you hadn’t been so… blatant about it. You’ll have to work twice as hard once this is over to convince people you’re trustworthy. But surely you were aware of that going into this… odd endeavor. That’s just politics. Reputation is everything.

JOSE: [snorts] Oh, and what a reputation you have, Al. I could easily compile hours of footage of your failures, but I, unlike you, do not waste my time on the frivolities of reality television. Though you always have been lacking in taste. Especially with that bratty girlfriend of yours— oh, my mistake, aren’t you dating the whiny weakling? It’s so hard to keep track! [laughs]

Alejandro: callate!

MOM: I’m sure Alejandro is just working an angle on them.

DAD: Whatever the case is, do not disappoint us.

[NOAH]

MOM: Hi Noah, I’m sorry, I don’t have time to record a full video, but I’m proud of you! Here are your sisters!

ISWARI: A million dollars? A million [bleep] dollars? Win it, Noah! Win it!

RUTH: Dude!! This is crazy! I know you can do this— good luck! Ark misses you! [holds up Ark who barks]

MARA: Are you insane? Why aren’t you dating Alejandro already?

Noah: shut up, mara, just because you can’t keep a boyfriend—

ANYA: Don’t let ‘em trick you! No mercy! Crush their skulls if you have to— no, wait, you’re not strong enough for that. We’ll get there!

LIYA: I say this as your sister, someone who loves you but is constantly annoyed by you— for someone who is quite literally a genius, you sure can be an idiot sometimes.

BALLARI: Okay, I literally have no idea how you’ve made it this far without an athletic bone in your body— are we sure you aren’t adopted? I’m kidding

ABS: You’re stubborn as hell when it comes to me, so you better be stubborn as hell when it comes to winning! And when you do win, get me a frozen yogurt machine, will you? I promise I won’t make you rock climb again!

JAEL: If you lose this, I’ll kill you with this racket. And then use your guts to make myself a new racket. So don’t fuck it up. Again.

Noah: [frozen, ashamed]

Sierra: well that was a mess

Courtney: ok show of hands, who felt better after hearing that? [no one raises hands]

Chris: yeah I was expecting this to be a lot more heartwarming…

Chef: chris just look at them. If they had stable home lives they wouldn’t be doing reality tv

Alejandro: can we please stop talking about this. Also aren’t you supposed to be flying the plane

Chef: oh fuck

Chris: yeah sure. I think im gonna call my mom

Everyone: …

Noah: ok so that was really shitty. Why dont we all go to first class and try and ignore our problems

Everyone: yeah ok sounds good

***

Courtney: so that sucked

Alejandro: at least your dad seems ok

Courtney: true. What are your guys dads like

Noah and Sierra: bold of you to assume I know my dad. Jinx

***

Alejandro: that last girl… you mentioned a sister who does tennis and hates you

Noah: yep

Alejandro: why?

Noah: none of your business. but… it is pretty justified

[weaponized-gluten]

Hohenheim: hey Alphonse I know I left when u were little but I'm back now. I wanna be part of ur life but I totally get it if u don't want to associate w me or call me dad I mean that was pretty shitty of me

Alphonse: you are my daaaad— You're My Dad! Boogie woogie woogie

Hohenheim: hi Ed I'm back after all these years and Al and I are tight as shit, but I totally get it tho if u can't accept me as easily as—

Edward: ok. Perish

[space-cadet-magic]

Tag Yourself: Appletini Assembly Edition

have a no context introduction to our dnd group 

Ashyew - Fortnite dancing unironically; campfire smell; knows obscure facts about trees; those wood wick candles that crackle when they burn; not hearing your name the first time someone says it; “I wanna steal,” Over the Garden Wall; not having a favorite cryptid because you love them all so much; “Harold, that was my favorite arm,” Where the Wild Things Are; making up fun alternate universes you’d travel to with your siblings; “This sign won’t stop me because I can’t read;” doesn’t care what you’re fighting, will fight alongside you until she falls; lovingly makes fun of you to your face, beats up your bullies behind your back; “I can play guitar, but I only know Wonderwall;” loves you deeply but will take embarrassing pics of you while you’re passed out drunk; can french braid hair, refuses to braid yours; light filtering through aspen trees.

Hal - “But your honor, I’m baby;” addicted to brookside chocolates; smells like beachy hair; always has a snack on hand; “please god, let me have one good day?” “you again? give it a rest buddy;” “Hi, i’m hal, and i’m addicted to citrus fruits;” calls her friends to say i love you; does not differentiate between costume parties and fancy dress parties - will wear a spiderman costume to both; drinks dumb fuck juice and dumb fuck juice EXCLUSIVELY; useless lesbian; “dad pick me up there’s kids here funnier than me;” wants to be a rebel, latches onto authority figures around her; “daddy?” “DO I LOOK LIKE-;” has a diary, but it is NOT coherent; makes friends fast but loses them in the middle of her rock collection presentation; watches chopped and laughs when people she doesn’t like gets eliminated;

Krol - Socks with sandals; dancing like commander sheppard; can’t figure out how to email a standard word document; encyclopedic knowledge of world history; only drinks alcohol that tastes like fruit juice; human embodiment of a maraschino cherry (has potential for greatness with a dark past); your dad buying you frozen yogurt when you’re sad; the smell of your dad’s old sweaters when you pull them down from the attic; “I may be dumb but i’m not stupid;” big adoptive dad energy; “Don’t talk to me or my son or my son or my son or my son ever again;” buys 150 boxes of scout cookies so their favorite kid wins the contest in their troop; “big dreams” include a three-wheeler motorcycle; proud fold-up bike owner; “CHRIS, IS THAT A WEED?”

Morana - “Be gay, do crimes;” that image of the little girl smiling in front of the burning house; smells like lavender and leather; living embodiment of a really hot motorcycle; can kick your ass and will do so upon request; has a designated snack drawer in her desk; always has bandaids; touch starved but scared to hug you; that kid who had a crush on a girl in her class so she sent her a note saying “get out of my school;” women in suits; “but does she REALLY like me?” as she walks down the aisle; is too hot in her jacket but won’t take it off bc it’s part of the look; sneaks bacon off your plate at brunch; “we held hands, so we’re basically married, right?”; “i have a proposal-PROPOSITION;” booty shorts that say “enemy of the state” across the butt; reads romance novels under the covers at night w/ a flashlight; “what do you have?” “a KNIFE!” “NO;” little spoon; trinket collector; all the metal in her outfit has to match.

Ptah - No poker face; “I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH;” “Ptah found dead in Kalmar,” “is he okay?” “yeah but he died;” wears sunglasses indoors; wears flannels unbuttoned but tucked in; does interpretive dance to rap metal; loses their shit at the drop in “Hall of the Mountain King;” your roommate who is weirdly good at home repair; burns everything they cooks; can drink their own bodyweight in ale; big laugh, bigger trauma;  “pick three words to describe yourself,” “hmmmmm…killer alien vagina;” has not paid for music since 2002; might be the blurry bigfoot in every photo; “Can i have a piggy back ride?” grumbles but actually hyped as fuck to give you a piggy back ride; ripped as hell but wouldn’t want to kill a spider; “i’m may be doomed,” “but?” “no, no but;” when you jokingly hip check you they launch you out of orbit; eats the whole cheese plate alone; will always go get the extra ketchup when you’re nervous to ask; doesn’t let the customer service person bully you; if they’ve been on hold w/ a company helpline for too long they will physically manifest in the head office.

Zeph - The gif of the guy peace-signing into disappearance; “Do not address me directly;” “STOOOOPPP I could have dropped my croissant;” the way cold water tastes right after you brush your teeth; “Clouds” by BORNS; tries to learn fortnite dances but can’t do them (is lovable and wonderful anyway); can peel oranges in one piece; *surprised pikachu*; has, can, and will slap a bitch into next week; astral projects to avoid confrontation; can’t do it alone but WILL NOT ask for help; annoyed when you ask to share the cinnamon roll at brunch but saves the best bit for you; takes the shitty fruit in fruit salad so other people can have the good ones; “I love you” “what?” “I said i hate you please don’t look at me;” smells like a linen and sky candle; perfectly ventilated cuddle sessions; big and powerful “I woke up like this” queen; “I’m cold,” “damn jackie, I can’t control the weather;” not the taller person but always the one to get stuff off the top shelf; kisses u goodnight on ur forehead when you’re asleep.

@captainofthefallen @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels @devilishlyoperatic

[foryouthegays]

haha rant time

 but whoop there might be swearing so be warned (yes there is swearing not so much but yeah its there) and bad spelling

About: parents, homework, school, therapy stuff like that

SO??? Im terrible at math right (lol who isnt) and im over here crying bc what the fuck does m represent?? There isnt anything telling me wer just have to guess??? And im just dying doing hw and my dad comes in and is liek 

Oh ur just not trying or some shit and im over here crying bc what the furick does this mean whey are there so many differentnt formulas that i just have to know and memorise and my teacher doesnt explain wh y and thats something i need to know like whY is it like htis why doesnt this work and my dad just thinks that bc hes good at math im gonna be to and like thats not how anyting works

So i finally convince him to get me a tuter and now he makes fun of me for it?? Like he wants to tuter me himself but he dpent know what were working on and how and he just overcomplecates what i nened to know and i cant tell him to just leave bc thats talking back or some shit and he just gets al up into my space and breathes down my back

And who cares what fanfic peole say that shit is unconfortable and i d o n o t like it and he just laughs and doens trespect that im unconfortable with that much contact from him?? Like ive had teachers inthe past that are older and male and they just get into my space like rn i havfe one that just /stares/ at girls boobs (oh no i said the b word whats tumblr gonna do fight me?) and he dows that to me and im just like pleas eno and he makes me talk to him after class when i dont to an assignment and doesnt let my friends come to ya know keep me safe and its jsut so unfonfortable 

Oh eyah im bioLoGicAlY a girl and honeslty im a girl most of the time so eyah but sitll plz odont stare at me its like a tick

Anyway back to my dad 

My mom decided it would be a good idea to take us to family councaling and im like sure bc my councerer is super helpful but anyway after the first session and we just reviewed how are lives were and why we were there my dad was like 

Well this is usper unhelpful i mean -counceler- is jsut making us talk like we normally do but -my deadname- cant run away

Oh yeats another thing he thinks that i run away when i just take a second to breathe and colelct my thoughts but noNoOOoOooOO i havfe to stay steeming until i explode and yell 

In wich case helll get mad at me for yelling but whatefver

Anyway i tried explaining that yeah thats basically waht a councerer/ therapist is, they help you figure out what needs to be done and they cant do taht without background or you being open to it

That was a few weeks ago and last week he waws like??? Its stupid that we cant just talk like htis on our own??

And im just like what? So waht? -counceler- hellps us stay on the right track and keeps us from snapping at eachother?? Who cares if we cant talk normaly at home with serious discussions, hwere its easier bc we have an outside source and that just helps in a why i dont think he understands

Hmm anything else i need to rant about?

Oh yeah ok so im sick rn and i had to cancel tutering and im prepairing for finals and im rlly stressed bc he would help me a l o t but nooOOOO my imune system wants me to die or whatever 

Its nothing sirious dont worry just a cold

And in language we have this shitty presentation with no speeker notes and its like four minutes long and idk what i have to do bc ya know i was ogne on the day they assigned it (yesterday bc i was sick) and im to anxious to ask and none of my friends have the same topic as me and the topics define the deadline and its due to morrow and i have so much work to do (lol laurens interlude am ii right)

Ahyway thats it i think 

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt.25

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25

alright!!! so this chapter is a little special. its a contest!!!!

for literally no reason at all, i decided to have a little fun with this chapter. in this chapter, there are a bunch of pop song references. the majority are from the early 2000s (before 2010, tho there may be one or two from 2011 or 12) and one is from the 90s. whoever can list the most references wins a drabble/short fic of their choice from me!

to enter, submit a list of all the songs that were referenced in this chapter (or the ones you could find!!)

shoot me an ask if you have any questions~!

mental support = nino, ebony = alya, draco = adrien, vampire = alya

i hope you enjoy!

17:20

mental support: a reminder that i hate all of you

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: u love u s

mental support: i can t believe you just made me listen to all of that what the fuck

draco malfoy: Now You Know

mental support: i wish i didnt

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: its so good so iconic also the writer is now a fukcing awesome published author and mari and i r gonna read her books together join us we can b the nerds with a book club

mental support: i just spent several hours listening to you three do a dramatic reading of my immortal i think weve gone past nerds with a book club

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: sounds fake

vampire: You cant say that wasnt a lot of fun though I forgot how wil d that fic got

mental support: i need to process

draco malfoy: Have fun

  5:02

draco malfoy: Reasons to quit modelling: Early morning shoots

draco malfoy changed his name to asleep in makeup

asleep in makeup: I can’t wait to be done today

  9:34

mental support: i am so sorry dude fingers crossed that your dad stops sending you to them

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: ^^^

mental support: al babe please change your name

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way: f i n e uhhhhhhhh

ebony dark’ness dementia raven way has changed their name to aint no lie

aint no lie: baby bi bi bi

mental support: i dont know what i expected

aint no lie: pls choose a lyric and join me

mental support: youre ridiculous why do i love you

mental support has changed their name to fool for you

aint no lie: lmao sap

fool for you: true

  10:02

vampire: Oh my god we have so man y orders to day Wont be on Im dying Im gonna dronw in frosting

vampire has changed their name to too many cookies

fool for you: uhhh no such thing let me know when youre on your break i wanna stop in and say hi and also steal some baked goods pull you away from baking for a bit

too many cookies: My knight in shining arm or  <3

fool for you: mostly hoping for cookies deemed unworthy to sell but yes i can work with knight

too many cookies: At least youre honest

13:35

asleep in makeup: Get me out og hits hous e

aint no lie: omw get ready to leave boy i was in the area on a walk

asleep in makeup: Thnak s

  13:46

fool for you: let me know if i can do anything ok?? if you need to stay the night or something that super chill my moms wont mind besides they keep trying to invite you all to dinner

too many cookies: Same as what Nino said!!! And also what!! I love your moms Id love to go to dinner??????

fool for you: yeah but theyre gonna tell embarrassing stories

too many cookies: You say that like I wasnt there for most of them

fool for you: yeah but adrie nand alya werent

too many cookies: Ok true true

19:11 in PM between too many cookies and alseep in makeup

asleep in makeup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J1-eYBbspA

too many cookies: Why the fuck

asleep in makeup: I’m with Alya We’re listening to 2000 hits from the US

too many cookies: Of course you are Are you having fun And feeling better??

asleep in makeup: Yeah We’re cuddling and making fun of the music videos Mostly the fashion Also her mom brought home some food from the hotel so we don’t have to eat ramen which is both awesome and a disappointment

too many cookies: Mhm How hard are you pining

asleep in makeup: Shut up

too many cookies: You love me

asleep in makeup: Unfortunately Why are our friends just so Great Good Incredible Sos I’m getting emotional about them Mari I really love them what did we do

too many cookies: We have really great taste obviously

asleep in makeup: Man I have shitty luck

too many cookies: Or the best

asleep in makeup: That’s your department

too many cookies: True tru e Are you going to survive??

asleep in makeup: Yeah Cuddling with Alya is unfairly nice

too many cookies: Tell me about it Anyway why this song

asleep in makeup: Because I love you and just wanted to remind you

too many cookies: This is the worst way to tell me that But I love you too I have to go help my mom with dinner but Ill talk to you later <3 Have fun Dont die

asleep in makeup: No promises

20:02 in fucking clock hearts

aint no lie has renamed this conversation to tell your boyfriend if hes got beef

too many cookies: Wha t

aint no lie: THAT IM A VEGETARIAN AND I AINT FUCKING SCARED O F HIM

fool for you: what the fuck

asleep in makeup: We’ve been watching music videos for like 3 hours

aint no lie: im liv in g

asleep in makeup: My dad would die if he saw any of the outfits people are wearing in these

aint no lie: american pop music from the 2000s is wild join us

fool for you: i thik im good

asleep in makeup: Youre not

aint no lie: were not falling in love were just falling apart :/

too many cookies: Im too tired for fake deep al

aint no lie: rip im sorry babe

fool for you: can i break into the bakery and get a cookie i need sugar

too many cookies: Cn I convince you to watch a show with me or something

fool for you: duh

too many cookies: !!!!!!!!! Let me know when you get here Im just at the foot of the stairs braiding my hair Ill let you in  

  20:15

aint no lie: bo y why are all of 3oh3s songs fucking icon ci

too many cookies: 3oh3 is that supposed to like Mean somethin g

aint no lie: idk its just another word i never learned how to pronounce

too many cookies: RIp

fool for you: yo mari im here

too many cookies: !!!

  20:25

aint no lie: a;lsdkfjasdf things i apparently need to do add chloe on snapchat

fool for you: yo why

asleep in makeup: She just sent me a selfie of her wearing designer shades just to hide her face cause she took her makeup off

aint no lie: she is???? weirdly chill snapchattin g marhs whtf

too many cookies: Whtf???

fool for you: what hell the fuck

asleep in makeup: That might have to do with us having been friends since we were like In diapers Chloe isn’t the best person but we still talk for a reason

aint no lie: fair

fool for you: i follow her on twitter for her rants theyre ridic they make my day

asleep in makeup: Oh uh Nino can I come over when you’re done at the bakery?

fool for you: yeah of course dude!!! that offers always there

aint no lie: >:(

too many cookies: I take it you two had this argument alread y

asleep in makeup: Yup I feel bad invading Alya’s space for so long

aint no lie: youve been around all night before!!!!! its not a big deal!!!!!!!!!!! the party dont stop

fool for you: want me to steal some cookies from you

asleep in makeup: Stealing is bad

aint no lie: why are u leaving me!!!!!!!!!!!

too many cookies: Ill let Nino tak ethe cookies then its not stealing Also cant you have this con vo irl??

asleep in makeup: Yeah but this is better

aint no lie: yeah also were comfy on the couch and itd be weird to yell at each other when were sitting like this

PM between asleep in makeup and too many cookies

too many cookies: Rip

asleep in makeup: Please don’t make this worse

too many cookies: Come on Romeo

asleep in makeup: That’s not my name

too many cookies: Fiiine You ok?? I know youre going over Ninos Hes getting ready to leave btw but he just mentioned that in the main chat

asleep in makeup: Yeah I just Its been a really really messed up week

too many cookies: Fair enough Let me know if you need anything ok???

asleep in makeup: Thanks <3 Going from Alya to Nino will be fun

too many cookies: Tonight your e fallign in love

asleep in makeup: Very funny But let me know if you need anything too Ok???

too many cookies: I will <3 <3

in tell your boyfriend if hes got beef

fool for you: ok so how many cookies is too many cookies

aint no lie: there is literally no such thing weve talked about thi s

fool for you: i bet if you eat too many you could die

aint no lie: come on let me shake up ur world and change ur life eat All The Cookies

fool for you: thats too many cookies

aint no lie: eat all the cookies an d die

fool for you: youre just jealous that adrien is coming over

aint no lie: please this isnt even jealousy >:/

fool for you: bruh oh btw im leaving in like 2 minutes gonna steal you away from alya

aint no lie: n e v e r

asleep in makeup: Please save me she’s been playing the same song for like half an hour

aint no lie: listen hot stuff im in loe vwith this son g

fool for you: let the beat rock dude

asleep in makeup: Mari pl e a s e

aint no lie: i cant stop cause im haivng too much fun!!!!!!!

  21:35

aint no lie: i cant believe ive been betrayed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fool for you: youre so dramatic

aint no lie: this is the worst thing to ever happen o t me

asleep in makeup: Its not enough to say that I miss you, is it

aint no lie: no >:( tell me what i wanna hear and that is that ur coming bcak

asleep in makeup: Sorry Al

fool for you: yeah ive got a blanket fort set up still from last time so i win

aint no lie: shi t

too many cookies: Youre all ridiculou s You need to come back down t o earht Weve got bigger problems than this Liek the fact that I canT FIND MY SCISSOR S

aint no lie: r i p

fool for you: theyre under your chaise

too many cookies: What

fool for you: check

too many cookies: ……. Holy s hi t HO W

fool for you: magic

aint no lie: u might no t believe ur eyes but ninos magic

asleep in makeup: I thought I got away from this

aint no lie: nope <3

[sansaasnark]

chloe tell us abt ur ocs *eyes emoji*

Omfg seriously thank you so much for giving me an excuse to talk about these stupid kids that I’ve had in my brain for like 5 years now! I actually plan to make a comic about them sometime down the line once I get a full story mapped out.

Deanna (Dean) Gallagher- An asexual genderfluid mess. (They don’t really care what people call them but tends to prefer she/her, they/them pronouns) She fancies herself a Robin Hood esque thief, performing large-scale heists, going to galas and ‘stealing’ what the rich claim to give to charity, and then actually gives it to charity. She also has pretty severe emotional issues which is ironic because her powers are centered around emotions. She’s a really perceptive empath, who can also- I wouldn’t say full on control- but greatly influence or coerce people into doing things if she suggests it due to the pheromones she exudes. She was taken to a testing facility when she was a kid after her mom died before she could be cycled into the system. They experimented on her for a year and a half before she was able to escape and she spent most of her life on the streets, bumming around a large city until she could afford the next bus ticket out.  Often experiences hallucinations due to lack of sleep and nightmares when she is able to catch an hour or two- she has really bad PTSD and is learning to deal with her alcoholic tendencies but they’re trying!!

Valerie (Val) Gutierrez- The Actual Worst. Imagine the most obnoxious fratboy ever but as a raging lesbian with morally grey values when it comes to murder and severe anger issues. Her mom got pregnant pretty young, fresh out of high school, and separated from the biological father so she was pretty much on her own and had to find a way to support herself financially. She signed up for some government-funded experiment that was advertised in a newspaper that offered to pay the participants, but it was actually a really shady genetic altering ordeal that ended up messing with the pregnancy. Val was fine but she was born with some super abilities like advanced healing, endurance, heightened senses, and WINGS.

She’s very blunt and can come off as really apathetic, though truthfully she doesn’t really care about anybody else other than those she considers family. Val doesn’t get close to people often because she feels like they don’t understand her which is part of the reason why she really connects with Dean (other than the shared emotional trauma), Dean’s powers stem from understanding people and Val Really Likes that; and because of her stronger constitution, Dean’s pheromones don’t affect her like they do others and she can speak more liberally with Val than with anyone else.

Hidaya- She doesn’t really remember her last name and was separated from her parents at a very young age. The clearest memory she has of them is the night of the car accident when they were driving home from one of her Bollywood dance classes. She’s really sensitive and gets choked up a lot of the time when she’s in public, she was later diagnosed by the doctors as selectively mute. Val and Dean sort of unofficially adopt her after her powers manifested. 

Bonus facts! She loves animals and is really fascinated by Dean’s uncanny ability to tame any and all creatures in under 10 seconds; they have fun trying to convince Val to adopt every cat and dog they come across but she drew the line at five animal friends. Here’s a crappy picture of how that conversation probably went.

Alistair (Al) Gallagher- One of the only normies in this story along with Danny. A Ginger White Boy, Al is Dean’s half-brother, they share a mother but have different fathers. His biological dad is a con artist that had been childhood friends with his mom back in Ireland. They made big plans to travel to America and start a life but as soon as she got pregnant, he pretty much bailed only popping up every now and again to ask for money. At one point when Dean was very young, he came back and their parents got into some heavy drugs. Al was a really responsible kid and took care of Dean most of the time. He really hates his dad and has a lot of pent-up resentment towards his mom for allowing him to keep messing up their family. When his mom overdosed, he was thrown into the foster care system and was forcefully separated from his sister. He tried to find her and kept searching for 15 years but was never successful (because she was never in the foster care system in the first place). Since he had a tumultuous childhood, he missed a lot of important elementary school education so he really struggled in middle school and high school. He met Danny when he was assigned as his tutor and later becoming friends- he had a crush on him but it didn’t work out and felt really stunted due to how things ended between them.

 Later on in life, he goes to art school where he really Lets Loose but kind of loses his muse and motivation to create. He experimented a lot and came out as pansexual to his adoptive mom, who was supportive if not a bit awkward. Al drops out of art school and learns to deal with his shit better than he had been and really starts to take his art seriously again, coming to the conclusion that school is Not For Him. He co-creates a comic that actually takes off and saves up enough money to travel the world a bit and ends up meeting an old friend again in his late twenties…

Daniel (Danny) Alvarez- Sweet boy… Protect at all costs….. He was really close with his mom before she passed away because of health issues. His dad was in the wind and his mother had no other family, so he had to go live with his Aunt and Uncle on his father’s side. They were very shitty and verbally abusive so Danny really struggled with his self-esteem and sense of identity. He’s a devout Roman Catholic and had a hard time admitting to himself that he was gay- he always enjoyed how boys looked aesthetically but he never had a full-on crush on one until he met Al. People in school can be brutal but Al was so genuinely nice to everyone and made Danny feel good about himself which was really rare. Al at one point tries to make a move but Danny was really stuck in a toxic mindset and still coming to terms with the possibility that he likes boys so some things were said, and feelings were hurt, and ultimately they avoided each other for the rest of their school years (or more accurately Danny was super guilty and wanted to apologize and explain but Al was avoiding him). He gets a football scholarship and finishes high school early, getting his GED, and moves out of his Aunt and Uncle’s house. He spends a large amount of his college experience learning that it’s okay to be human and not do everything perfectly, finally getting to the point where he is able to reconcile his guilt with his faith. In summary; college really widens his horizons. Ten years after he graduates, one of Danny’s colleagues invites him to their wedding in Paris and while he’s there he encounters an old flame.

[fuxmolders]

↳ twenty-seven   //   ???   //   70s   //   esfp-t   //   the slacker

about: one of the many meadows (et al) offspring. blames all his issues on his ~shitty dad~ and worships his ~saintly mother~ because original. doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life and doesn’t actually care. oops. has a flask on his keychain for emergencies. is a total slut but tries to be a gentleman about it. maybe wants to experience love but would never admit that to anyone. his friends are more of his family than his family because his family is a Mess. but he still loves them. has a serious video game addiction. just stops showing up to work instead of quitting. will ditch ur plans if something better comes up. knocked up his hs gf and she got an abortion without telling him and he’s still bitter about it. but he doesn’t really want kids?? but what if he did?? does lowkey dangerous things to feel alive a la accepting drugs from strangers or starting fights with biker gangs or fucking sans condom. 

needs: some kind of romance thing?? idk what to do with him tbh. definitely hookups?? maybe ongoing fwbs and exes that have become bootycalls? the rest of his siblings YIKES. he NEEDS A JOB big time but i’m not creative so hmu with occupation reqs and stuff!! MB SOME ROOMMATES? TRASHY ONES PLS?

[tax-beast]

ur not a nobody ilu

once when i was 12 my dad let me have access to his garage (given i use no power tools) and i started building something, but the lighting was shitty so i took my junk and started messing around in the driveway. i was gluing junk boards together and cutting weird shaped pieces and gluing them wherever. (god fuck hand saws my weak 12 y/o muscles could hardly do that stuff.) 

i was having fun, but two women walking their dogs had stopped to watch me fuck around w/ the saw and wood. i don’t know how long they were there for (i think they actually stopped cause one of their dogs had to crap) but when i looked up one of them said how pretty my hunk of crap was and the other insisted she liked it a lot before they both turned to leave. 

i was a little weirded out that they offered commentary because it was quite obvious i was just doing whatever i felt like and having fun, it was a hot mess. i threw it in the trash when it dried, i just wanted to mess around with my dad’s tools is al.

this blog is kind of like that experience. and they never picked up that dog turd.

[tandembicycles]

@onecattrashcatband replied to your post “I have been away from Tumblr for nearly a week because I am a bad...”

I'm sorry all that happened, I hope things get better for you soon. Sending you lots of love and good vibes. Please don't feel like you need to respond to this, I'm just glad you made it through and you're still here ♥

Thank you, Cherie, ily... 

@kishibecore replied to your post “I have been away from Tumblr for nearly a week because I am a bad...”

IM RLY GLAD UR OK ��

Ah, yeah... I’m okay, thank you dude ahaha

@moonlightcrazyphoenix replied to your post “I have been away from Tumblr for nearly a week because I am a bad...”

(Please don't feel pressured to respond to this) Holy crap that sucks. You're absolutely justified in being upset about this train wreck of events. I really hope things get better for you soon. Just take your time if you don't really want to be on here right now, just know that people do care about you, and don't see helping you or listening to you vent as a burden.

Yes, very much so. Well I’m eating fruit snacks rn, the Welch’s kind, the best kind, and talking to Danie again at least, so that’s some sort of turn around, yeah. I... don’t want to be on here right now... but... I do, all at the same time lmfao I’m not entirely sure how to explain. I’ve definitely missed everyone and I’m definitely lonelier, so on one hand that sucks, but on the other hand I still feel the self deprecating shit, but on a third hand from a stranger I’ve also gotten used to just... not... talking to anyone. I was kind of tempted not to come back. But then this shitty day happened and I was like OKAY I GOTTA VENT THIS and now I’m sucked back in. For better or worse I’m *shrugs* I’ll probably just ease back into it. Al.... right thank you... 

@harunnn replied to your post “I have been away from Tumblr for nearly a week because I am a bad...”

Oh no, I hope you're ok?? Stepped on a nail??? Oh god. And I would be pretty down if all that happened... I am so sorry! I'm glad to hear how you are doing, we've missed you. I definitely have missed your presence. Take your time with everything, I really hope things pick up from here! (I am sure your dad is more than happy to help you in every way he can!) Don't feel respond to me either.

*don't feel pressured to respond to me either. Ilu Tandem ♥ I hope you feel better.

My shoe saved my ass. My flimsy flip flop that I’ve worn down over the past four years was just BAAARELY enough. At first I thought it actually got me because the surprise is usually more devastating than the pain when I get hurt and I was like “OH THANK GOD... NOW I CAN DIE OF TETANUS... FANTASTIC...” but my shoe saved me. It pricked me but didn’t break skin or draw blood which... is still surprising because it did hurt... But I was still pissed off like “OF COURSE.............................” Mmmmmm thanks...................... My mind is telling me not to believe you but I’m going... to ignore it... Alright alright... (hhghhg)  

@cutiepie-tro replied to your post “I have been away from Tumblr for nearly a week because I am a bad...”

I'm sorry you've been having such a rough time! ��that really sucks. I hope things get better soon

(Also please don't feel pressured to respond to me I totally understand needing space and all that, just wanted to remind you that people care about you)

Ah, thanks thanks. It does, yeah, thanks.

(Listen I know you and several others said don’t feel pressured to respond but listen... listen... I thought it would be rude of me not to........ which is the opposite of what you said but listen........... I didn’t wanna be rude... sorry)

[trippz2ill2ace8itout]

💜🖤🔥Hiii x I'm Izzy Magdalinoz-Martinez, && these are my life story videos xx xD c: ._. XoxoXoxoX ;) we all have a story xxStay Alive && Keep Soaring, Keep Fighting, Soldier x Love My Angels , My Warriors xx🥀🌙🏳️‍🌈⭐️ 🔥🔥🌈TRIGGERWARNING I have over 10+ mental illnesses, that I deal with on a daily basis, I help everyone and everything obsessively, but idk who I am , I don't know , no pity , I also have borderline personality disorder as well, autism, anorexia, and everything else , I'm here for you all always , thank u for breathing for being alive for being u , u matter ur life matters, plz keep going, I'm by your side , if ur not ok plz let me know and even if you are plz let me know , no pity no sympathy no attention, here's my list of diagnosis from my psychiatrist.. I have had trauma occurring 24/7 from 2001-2018 Bipolar, Schizoaffective, Panic disorder (Anxiety) Major Depressive Disorder (Depression) , Adhd , OCD , Odd , PTSD, Insomnia , Autism , Borderline personality disorder , Dissociative identity fued , Anorexia ,Narcolepsy, Multiple personality disorder De realization, Attachment disorder, Critically/clinically insane, Severe brain damage Look I don't want ur pity hun, I'm not trying to compare, if any of you need me plz message me, stay alive , ur doing the best u can and I'm proud of u , and I will keep reminding you all the good stuff about u and the good stuff you have done and are doing , I'm by your side on the battlefield, I would take all y'all pain away , if I could give my life to save all yours , I dissociate all day , my mental breakdowns have decreased and Alvaro is still possessing me , I love u all , CODE 890X0 in motion, I'm always here I'm Izzy I'm a girl always a girl , wtf is going on right now, stay you and if u needs me I'm here , MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE NOT A TREND !!! 🌷🏳️‍🌈💙⭐️🥀🔥🌈💜🖤 {these are NOT 4 ATTENTION PITY SYMPATHY OR GLORIFICATION!!}. Its izzy. ;) Thx u for existing. Your doing the best u can. Stay strong. Im here for u and here to help and be there in anyway shape or form i possibly can. No matter the circumstances. Thank u for everything x IM OVER 1 YEAR SOBER FROM DRUGS AND ALCHOL xIt's been a wild ride my loves. Hey it's izzy. Imma be here for u no matter how much it takes. Cuz your a precious diamond. Just don't give up. Sorry I haven't been replying. It's just I've been going thru shit. Take care of yourself x we will fight we will stand, we will get thru this. Featuring my shitty social skills. Just don't give up alright 💛 🥀🖤A Moment Of Silence, For The Addict Who Still Suffers, In And Out Of These Rokms🖤🥀 Cuz basically all 10 + metal illnesses I have plus my past plus my current situation plus all my symptoms of all my diagnosis are multiplied by 10. I've been thru brutal trauma/pain/hell/torture/bad experiences since I was 4 (2001) until July 2018. Occurring 24/7 I've been tortured abused raped almost killed. In 215 mental hospitals. No home from 2011-2018. Homeless 13 times,almost killed, drugged up lost many to death, my dad tortured me, 3 foster homes, many unlocked/locked treatment centers, group homes, shelters, rehabs, residential, been thru MOSTLY every traumatic thing, I have severe brain damage, anorexia, mom is very sick. I help to much. I can't explain what I'm going thru or what's going on. I'm the most high maintaince case in the system. I've attempted suicide over 100 times. Been on all meds /beej thru all sorts of treatment. I have anger self harm. I'm a hardcore addict. No stable home. Ive been tortured/abused/raped/drugged/almost killed most of my life. I'm tell u a little of my life story You all are enough you all are worth it you al matter, your life is not worthless. Hun I know what it's like to hit rock bottom and back several times. I'm here forcing if u need a friend I'll be there for u care for u help support show you your worth. I've been abused raped tortured homeless 13 times 215 mental hospitals bouncing from unlock and locked treatment centers. I've been in residential. My dad tortured me. I've had trauma 24/7 since 2001-july 2018 I got my son taken away. I've attempted suicide over 100 times im a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. No home from 2011-2018 I've been abused in all ways several times. . I've been in rehab. I'm not trying to get attention I'm trying to show that y'all aren't alone. Stay alive . You are important to me. I know I just met u. But I'm grateful for your life., LET GO & LET GOD! 🥀🖤Your feelings and life are valid If not today there's always tomorrow. Thank u for existing Stay U, And Believe In Yoself Don't Give Up Now, U Come This Far I'm Izzy, and Im a grateful recovering addict. Ur a fighter,don't give up Ur a survivor,nota victim U have a purpose,embrace it a story,share it a voice,useit A message,send it -Izzy M.🌙🔥

[chippedfolks]

Here we go again

Right where should i start? hmmm Once Upon a Time.. Jk haha Well yesterday Jimmy asked if we could skype (we haven’t skyped/ seen each other in a month since last time we skyped was August 2nd) coz i was going to give me a pep talk before he starts work on the 4th of Sep. He really doesn’t know what i’ve truly been through, and how bad things are and really were but when he called too give me a pep talk before i started work it really lifted my spirits. So I wanted to surprise call him like he did too me because it was a great feeling, but oh well..i will text him on the day of his work in the morning and tell him im proud of him and i believe in him. I am soo genuinely proud of him, he has no idea. I just know no person as smart and that has a pure soul like he does will go unrecognised. I pray to all the gods and the universe that he stays blessed. I respect him and i know he is going to live a life worth telling. He’d love it if kids in school in the future could read about his accomplishments and learn about his life. If i were them, he’d be the person i would look up too.  Honestly, i was really really nervous following up too us talking, I was thinking about how it would go in my head before i went too bed last night, and what i wanted to say. Anyway so i got up today and had a bunch of things too do for my new shitty room (trying to buy things to make it looks better..don’t think it’s working!) And i said around 4 which was 6 my time we should skype i’ll be free. I actually mainly went out to the hair salon to get hair straighten (IKEA was right next to the hair salon so after to the hair salon i was like why not go). I was just looking like shit i didn’t want him to see me looking bad. I guess i tried too look decent haha, don’t know if your suppose to do that for ur ex. But maybe there’s an exception for an ex you still love. So i came home around 6 and was like i need to change my shirt i look gross, i literally tried on 8 shirts and shit and i was like fuck it.. i was like should I show some of my non-existent cleavage haha (gosh i miss our fun time) anyway i just went with the first thing i had on -.- Seriously i couldn’t wait too talk too him, i missed his voice and face soo much. I didn’t even get too properly see his tan that he has been working on all summer :( But wait for it :D..... I called him up, and fuck me he was tan like a good tan like a perfect let me eat you up looking tan. I tried to act cool, i think i did a good job. Gosh he is beautiful. The entire conversation i had to try my hardest to look away or else i would have fucked him with my eyes alone, i seriously was trying so fucking hard not too stare so much.. He wasn’t really looking at me either, more at the wall and sabrina because he was lying down. Oh well. Gave me a chance to stare! So all in all the convo was chill we made some jokes, he made fun of me a lot, it was nice, i didn’t mind. I was trying too flirt i dunno haha..maybe he was trying too (it felt like it) but i doubt it. It just felt nice inside a good tingly feeling, honestly i felt so fucking good inside. I missed talking to my true bf, he just always makes me so happy. We didn’t talk about much he sorta caught me up on the things he remembered and i’m not doing anything exciting in doha in particular so i had nothing too say..even though i always fucking managed to remember stuff i wanna talking to him about after we are done talking. I get nervous, even though i know him more than anyone i’ve ever known. I think that might change the less we talk, because everyone grows and changes as time goes by. Even in 2 months i’ve changed so much and i bet he has as well with al that he is doing :D I just hope he stay the fun loving and funny, down to earth weirdo i know him too be. There were some awks silences during our convo..guess we didn’t know what to say haha it’s cool tho, but i  still felt comfortable it was a good awkwardness. He talked about his own future and work and what he plans on doing, and obviously we aren’t together so it has nothing to do with me but it was a little crushing not going too lie. Deep down i thought he was still thinking about moving too london after a year at his current job. I’m still trying to work hard so i can go to law school in london and then apply for a job in london. Part of me wants too because i always wanted too, but a huge part of me wants too because i’d be closer too him (4 and 1/2 hours away including national express) but maybe he could move to london as well. Like we always planned. My dad said that after he is done educating me, i can do whatever the hell i want even if he means being with Jimmy, which i still do want. But Jimmy said “he’s thinking of working at his current job for 3 years”, so we’re not going to be at all together in person or even together for years and years. But after 3 years he’d definitely move on...like I don’t want to meet another guy or fuck other people, I want him and I would dead ass move too Portugal and find a job so i would be closer too him..but then i’d look crazy. We won’t be staying in touch as much, im guessing which already scares me (i don’t want him to ever leave my life!) but we aren’t together in person so its hard too love someone that’s not there. It was hard enough loving Long Distance, but we communicated all the time..all day! But yo he’s gone, he’s no longer mine. As time moved on he will crave female attention and physical attention and someone to massage his beautiful hair and kiss his soft dry lips. He wants intimacy and sex and love and i can’t give him that as much as i’d love too. And he will find that and he’ll be happy. It will hurt at least but he’ll be taken care of. How am i suppose too replace him or find a better version of him in any other man once i can longer be with him? I never wanted too let him go, he was my lottery ticket my one in a million and but i had too. I’ve not moved on yo, i still think about him. You know i always thought maybe i’m in love with the idea of Jimmy and not him so if i forget the idea in my mind i can move on, but talking too him and the way he made me feel like fuck i know exactly why i fell madly in love with him. He may just love me but not be in love with me, but i will never stop fighting to get him back until he lets me know he never wants me back in his life as his partner in crime in life or if he finds someone better. Nonetheless, i am extremely happy for him and proud that he still very much so wants to travel a lot,  and just live life. I was always holding him back because of the way i grew up, even though i would kill to join him im just stuck in an unfortunate situation. He’s still full off life and i love it. I’m able to vicariously live though the travel stories he tells me, and the more he travels the more i will feel happy :D  Oh i noticed he was still hugging sabrina the whole time we were talking, i didn’t really wanna say “hi my baby sabrina” even tho i really wanted too. I was trying so hard to be a chill friend, not his gf. We talked for a good hour and a half, but it felt like 5 mins too me. haha i still wanted too talk more. Oh he has another roommate joining him, so that will keep him busy when he gets home from work... and he can chill with francis and jony b and then go too bed without having to talk too me at annoying ass every night. He can finally get his good 8 hours of sleep. But boy do i miss those night phone calls, it was a great brief pleasure i had in life. So all in all so much has happened in both of our lives over the past 2 months and we both couldn’t remember most off it too tell each other on our skype call. It’s just so weird you go from knowing every beautiful thing (good and bad) that happens in a persons life, too not knowing anything once your not together. A part of you really does break off. I need too try harder too move on, like he has! He’s moving on too bigger better things :D which is not me, so the question is how does one force true love (on my part) too just stop?How you do stopping loving your love? It’s torture :( No tears i need too stop crying! today was a good day and he brighten up your heart and day. He was the best part of my day today, he maybe me forget about my real iife. Gosh haha i was soo happy for like an hour after talking too him, i even voice-noted sabrina and told her how happy i was. He really did/does make me purely happy, and since this summer has been so bad and low for me... just been blessed to have the hour too talking too him makes me feel like my old happy self again :) He really does bring out the best in people <3 Until i see him again. From a victim on forbidden love, and distance love.  Lots of love :D Your girl