#UNFAIR THAT I CAN'T SEE IT THOUGH 😤😤

[somedaytakethetime]

Other girlies: the highest of high def. content, tons of it all the time

Me:

[didalexiabreakupwitholgaisback]

I've only been in the woso community for about a year, but Se acabó made my head and heart hurt. It's horrendous that it takes so much suffering for improvement to come, and it's still obviously not enough. I think it was very pointed how Irene called out Montse about clapping during Rubiales "I will no resign" speech.

What make me saddest about the players who haven't returned/been called up is for Paños. The fact that 2023 might have been her last opportunity at a World Cup, and I never want to say never, but the fact that they haven't called her up again since just stands to reason that they will continue to deny her a proper chance to represent her country again.

I would also like to join the line of punching Olga, I know they were showing different points of view, but I can't say she did herself any favors by being in the doc.

what's even sadder is that the documentary only skimmed the surface on the abuses faced by the players. there's so much more that happened that we didn't even cover in the doc. and there's so much that continues to happen under montse too...

the spanish federation since its inception has tried to keep players in line through abuse and intimidation, and when that doesn't work through threats and humiliation.

what happened to paños and really how rfef treats our gks is a study in humiliation, destruction of self-esteem, and the 'punishment' of players. 😤 and don't even get me started on how the federation completely humiliated irene and threatened to leak photos of her crying alone in 2022 after they scapegoated her for players 'revolting' against rfef, immediately post the euro. 🙄

paños and lola gallardo (and later misa) were gks #1 and 2 for the national team for a long time. the way the federation has treated them in the wake of 'las 15' has been despicable and unfair, with paños making herself available for the 2023 world cup and left off (the ultimate humiliation) and now the same is happening to lola, even though she's arguably the best in form gk in the liga f.

during the world cup, misa was not stripped of her #1 spot after the 4-0 loss to japan. rather, misa was stripped of it (in favour of cata) after she questioned vilda as to why he wasn't putting in other players with more experience as captain. montse wouldn't even play her during the olympics when cata broke her nose, which was another blow to her self-esteem. and now montse has dropped her from call-ups altogether.

and i fear we are seeing the same pattern emerge with cata. 🥺 anyway, honour to paños and lola for sticking up for what they believe!🙏

[musette22]

I miss Chris Minnie! What do we have to do to see him?

I miss him too, honey 😭 I miss him so much, it's probably a little ridiculous 🥺 I feel like it's been ages since we last saw him (apart from the Red One snippets). I was really hoping we might get some bts content from Sacrifice, but I think they're keeping it all under wraps for the time being :( So unfair, show us his beautiful face, you cowards 😤 Ah well, guess we'll just have to be patient for a little while longer

Wherever he now, whether he's still in Greece or somewhere else, I hope he's doing very well and is loving life as much as we love him! ❤️ Can't WAIT for him to start properly promoting Red One though (I'm just going to assume he will, or I'll be very sad 😂)

[ashprince-of-bel-air]

Your The Hellrider's Redemption: Rebirth fic is so good! I'm envious that you get to embrace Zevlor 🫂, both of them would love to savour it but there's a threat that needs to be taken care of 😔, Zevlor standing tall & proud despite what he has went though 🥹, you told how you wanted to see him one last time considering how dangerous it is to battle against the Netherbrain 🥲, your voice was the exact opposite of how you are in battle ⚔️, he wished to persuade you but he knew it's impossible to change your mind 😔, he didn't think this city deserve you 🥺, he kept his promise so he wants you to do the same 😢, you promised despite both of them know it's a lie 😔, you joked the first drink is on him to cope 🥲, he doesn't mind as he shared a smile & longing look 🥺, he had suffered so much but it hurts him to most when you walked away 😭, he wanted to stop you but he couldn't move & he's frightened even at a slight noise despite his past of being a paladin 😞, he admired their courage 🥺, he thought about everything that happened the last few months 🤔, he managed to hold his bowl of soup with steady hands 🥹, he's determined to help you as you lit a spark in him 🔥, he thought of how he can help you 🥹, he made sure to drink his soup as he can't fight on an empty stomach 👍, he's determined with a purpose 😤, he doesn't care if he dies but he wants you to live 🥺, he thought how unfair it would be for you to die for people who won't be grateful 😔, he felt like a young Hellrider again thanks to t 🥹, his tadpole is being useful for once 👍, he would die happy if he knows he had kept you safe 🛡️, he rans towards you when he saw you in a distance 💨, and he has no regrets if his last day is by helping you 🥹 Thank you so much for sharing it with us because I love it so much :) Is this end or is there more? Thanks!

My dear sweet anon I'm glad you enjoyed it ❤️ I'm planning on some more, maybe another one or two chapters!

[brummiereader]

@peakyswritings Ned's words from GOT comes to mind when I think of Nina and her dad. " War was easier than daughters" 🤭. I love Nina's fiery personality!

Well fuck, he went and did it. He proposed to Agnese...nooooooo 😭! I can't say I'm surprised though, he got his feelings hurt and acted on them without letting his frustration settle. But god, the angst this has created 😩!

She was easily irritated, she couldn’t stand her mother’s complaints, her father’s deceitfulness, her brothers’ haughtiness, and she couldn’t help herself from talking back or snapping when something bothered her. She's on a war path, I wouldn't dare go near her at this point 😳😂. I really feel for Nina, not only because I see a little bit of myself in her when it comes to showing stubborness to not get hurt but the shear injustice she feels that everyone seems oblivious too. It really is unfair.

If her father really decided to go through with it, she’d drop the bomb on him that she wasn’t a virgin anymore. Maybe she could do it in front of Stefano, for the pleasure of watching his smug grin disappear from his face. Eehh 😬. I mean I love the idea of her dropping this bomb on everyone but the aftermath for our girl would be horrible. But I gotta admit, I wana see that bastards face drop too 😏.

“You’re my daughter, you can’t be ugly or stupid.” I loved this line👌🏼, she's fiercly protective of her daughter in her own way. And I think that it's lines like this that show how proud of her daughter she really is. It just doesn't always come out the right way.

The whole conversation with her dad was...intense. He knows her so well he doesn't dare risk the headache that would come if he confronted her at the level she's doing with him. Even though he reprimands her here and there, he lets her vent. But one thing I can't quite tell is, did the whole conversation just infuriate Nina even more 😩? She's so angry right now that I can't tell when she's in a neutral mood 😂.

Not Tommy listening outside the door like 👀...😂.

Ah, now she called him Mr Shelby. As if she hadn’t been whimpering his name in his ear a few nights before. “I think we’re way past the formalities, sweetheart.” ooh careful there Tommy, probably a good thing you kept those internal thoughts to yourself 😬🤭.

How sweet. Nina pursed her lips to hide a sly grin, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Nothing.” gosh, I loved this whole scene of Nina watching her mum take the time to look after herself ❤️. I've warmed so much to their mother/daughter relationship and the dynamics of it.

“You…” Tommy’s breath hitched in his throat, his mouth dry. You’re beautiful.He didn’t dare say it. Stop 😭! Fuck, I wish he would have dared to say it. He's completely smitten with her, which only makes the situation more heartbreaking. I hate how Nina criticises herself so much, and is constantly comparing herself to her cousin's. But it's completely understandable considering the hurtful remarks her family members have made to her. No wonder she has built an iron wall around her. If only she'd realise that Tommy see's the beauty within her ❤️.

He’d forget about her like he had forgotten about Grace. He had done it once, he could do it again. Even if he’d prefer to rip his heart out of his chest. Yeh ripping you heart out, doesn't sound like forgetting Tommy 😳😭. Sounds like you won't be able to live without her!

Vito Spinietta and his asshole brother can seriously do one 😤. I hate them mutually and the way Vito makes excuses for his brothers disgusting behaviour towards Nina. Why can't they just let it go, she's not a pawn in their climb to the top, or a way for Stefano to overcome the burn of her refusal.

His hand was light on her waist as he lead the dance, yet that contact felt heavy, violent. It made her skin crawl. She focused on the ground behind his shoulders, trying to ignore the weight of people’s stares on them. She was afraid to raise her head and find out Tommy was watching too. Yeh there's was no way Tommy wasn't watching this whole scene. What a mess they're in, both dancing with the wrong people. Both having to watch the other in the arms of someone else. The torment...I love it, please continue Reb 😈😂!

Nina’s mouth fell agape. She hadn’t missed the inflection in his voice. Was he… jealous? Yes I'd say he was jealous 😏!

Then, impetuously, he kicked the door shut and crushed his lips against hers. The force of the kiss knocked Nina’s breath out of her lungs, but she was quick to wrap her arms around his neck, pressing their bodies together. This whole next scene was just 👌🏼. The longing to feel close again, not caring about the party going on outside. Nina's admission that she lied. Tommy's inability to stop himself from having her. Just *chefs kiss😘!

They're gonna caught if this keeps up, surely? There's no way they can keep this under wraps in a house and village full of gossiping mums 😬.

You keep me on the edge with each chapter and where this story will go. I think I remember you posting a while back how Agnese' behaviour may catch us all of guard 😳. Maybe she's not so sweet and innocent after all! They've gotta come up with a plan, they're in love! So excited to see what happens next 😍.

Heart, Body and Soul || Tommy Shelby x OC

PART XI

Summary: the situation complicates further as Tommy’s stay in Sicily nears its end. It’s time for conversations, and things that have been buried for too long are brought to the light.

Warnings: mentions of arranged marriage, slow-burn, small age-gap (Tommy’s 30, Nina is in her early 20s), time-typical misogyny, references to past attempted assault, harassment, violence, angst, English is not my first language. This chapter is 18+, smut (I’m still not used to writing it but here we go). This is set between season 1 and 2.

Like in some previous chapters, some conversations are supposed to be in Italian but for obvious reasons I kept them in English.

A/N: sorry this is really long. I hope it makes up for the wait!

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

SERIES MASTERLIST

Dividers credits

Tommy’s proposal to Agnese had brought quite the hustle in the Ferrante’s property. A stream of relatives and friends had been coming to congratulate the new couple in the past few days, and people continuously came and went to make the arrangements for the wedding - or simply pry in the family business. And with the engagement party being held that night, it was impossible for Nina to step out of the house without bumping into some caterer or seamstress or, if she was particularly unlucky, some cantankerous old aunt who would stray away from her as if she were the Devil incarnated.

Her mood, which was already dark to begin with, had considerably worsened, forcing her to withdraw into isolation to avoid all possible conflict. She was easily irritated, she couldn’t stand her mother’s complaints, her father’s deceitfulness, her brothers’ haughtiness, and she couldn’t help herself from talking back or snapping when something bothered her. She could tell they were fed up with her insolence, that she was treading on thin ice, but she drew a twisted satisfaction from getting on their nerves. It was the only way she had to get back at them for the hell they were putting her through. Her role in the family, the impossibility of being something more than she was expected to be, the threat of a forced marriage with Stefano that was becoming less of a prospect and more of a certainty with each day that passed. And now that. Having to watch as the marriage between Tommy and Agnese took form, pretending with her cousin she was genuinely happy for her.

It was tearing her apart from the inside. At this point, Nina couldn’t wait for them to get married, so that Tommy would leave her house, her country, and set her free from the deep ache she felt every time he was near. It would be difficult, at first, but in time she’d forget about him, about the way he made her heart race, about how safe she felt in his arms.

“I’m going over to aunt Rita,” her mother hastily walked into the kitchen, holding a sewing box in her hands. “I’m helping her embroider the bedsheets for the trousseau.”

“Mhm.” Nina merely raised her eyes from the book she was pretending to read. Hearing about bedsheets and trousseaus was the last thing she needed in that moment, especially if it had to become yet another excuse to reproach her for not having the intention to get married anytime soon.

All of a sudden the book was soon snatched from her hands. When she raised her gaze, her mother was looking at her with a stern look on her face.

“Your friend has been invited to the party,” she said bitterly, as though the matter was somehow her daughter’s fault.

Nina’s heart fell to the pit of her stomach. It didn’t take a genius to understand who said friend was.

“The whole Spinietta family has been invited,” Maria went on, slamming the book on the table.

She swallowed harshly, the implications of that gesture rapidly sinking in. “Are you serious?”

“I warned you,” her mother pointed a finger at her. “If you had listened to me, maybe it would’ve been Angelo, not him.”

Nina rolled her eyes. Again with her friend’s son. What did she want, to put a death sentence on the poor man? She grabbed the cup of tea that had grown cold in front of her, and got up to pour its content in the sink.

“Did I tell you he’s a teacher?” Maria started again. “I bet he acts all intellectual just like you.”

“If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll intellectualise away from me. Unless he wants to get on the Spiniettas’ bad side, that is. Or dad’s.” She started to aggressively scrub the cup, taking out her anger on the fragile item. “And who says he’d be interested in me anyway?”

Her mother looked at her as if a second nose had grown on her face. Despite her unusual behaviour, Nina carried herself well, looked nice, had an education that most girls could only dream of. Her Italian was outstandingly clean, almost devoid of dialectal influences, and clear. Her brain worked incessantly, she had complex thoughts, and it was often difficult to keep up with her. Not to mention how she managed to give even men twice her age a hard time with the sole power of her words.

“Why wouldn’t he?”

“Maybe he’d find me ugly,” Nina shrugged, “or stupid.”

“You’re my daughter, you can’t be ugly or stupid.”

Nina let out a sigh, drying her hands on a towel. There was no point in arguing. In those situations, it was better to let her mum vent until she got tired of talking with a stone wall and gave up.

Maria dropped the sewing box on the table with a thud. Once she had her daughter’s attention back in her, she started speaking again, a grave expression on her face. “I don’t think you understand the situation you’re in. If your father says yes to Stefano, then he won’t be able to say no anymore,” she said lowly. “You need to act before he says yes.”

“He can’t force me.”

If her father really decided to go through with it, she’d drop the bomb on him that she wasn’t a virgin anymore. Maybe she could do it in front of Stefano, for the pleasure of watching his smug grin disappear from his face. Would she be irremediably deemed as a whore? Yes. Would she bring shame upon her whole family? Absolutely. It would still be better than being Spinietta’s wife.

“You can’t change my mind on this, mum,” she concluded in a tone that didn’t leave any room for discussion.

Her didn’t mother didn’t reply, but the disapproval was clear on her face.

“You know what?” Maria picked up the box from the table again and put it under her arm with a nervous gesture. “I don’t care. Do what you want,” she said sharply, leaving the kitchen.

As soon as she heard the front door closing, Nina exhaled deeply. That was another issue she’d have to deal with, apparently. She wasn’t sure her mother would give up so easily, and she was scared she’d try to act behind her back like her father was.

Her father. Her blood boiled in her veins as her mind went back to the reason why the argument she had just gotten out of had started in the first place. It was time to talk to him, to make it clear that she would never accept to marry that bastard, that she didn’t need time to decide cause she had already made up her mind. The sooner they had that conversation, the sooner all that would end. Hopefully.

Animated by a fiery resolution, Nina strode through the house with large, quick steps. She didn’t pay attention to her brothers, who were heading to the kitchen to have breakfast, nor to Tommy, who was waiting in the large hallway for her father to let him in, and was now looking at her with a puzzled look on his face.

She stormed in her father office, slamming the door behind her. He raised his head from the papers he was signing, looking at her questioningly, but not without a hint of reproach for bursting into his private room without even knocking.

“What does this mean?” Her voice came out more high-pitched than she intended. She stopped in front of the dark wooden desk, forcing him to pay attention to her.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know what I’m talking about.”

Her father leaned back in his chair, rolling his cigar between his fingers, keeping his oblivious facade. A new wave of rage ran through Nina, but she was careful to contain it. “You invited the Spinietta family to the engagement party,” she explained through gritted teeth.

Unimpressed by her accusations, he stubbed out his cigar, then folded is hands on his lap. “The Spiniettas are close friends of ours,” he said calmly.

“Right,” she let out a humourless laugh. “You became pretty close over the last month.”

“Business is growing.”

“Ah,” she nodded, raising her eyebrows. “Business.”

Her father clenched his jaw, and from the way his shoulders had stiffened she could tell he knew exactly where the conversation was going. And that he didn’t like her mocking tone.

“Is there a problem, Nina?”

“You tell me. Is there something going on that could be a problem for me?”

She wanted to hear it from him. She wanted him to admit it out loud. She was tired of being treated like she was crazy, like she was imagining things. She wanted honesty.

Vincenzo pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes as if hit by a sudden headache. “I need to talk to Mr Shelby, can we-”

“You’re talking to me,” Nina said firmly, raising her voice.

Her father straightened his back, leaning with his elbows on the wooden surface in front of him. He fixed his gaze on her, his features hardening with austerity. “Mind how you speak to me, I’m your father,” he warned her.

“So I should stay quiet while you make decisions about my life,” she spat out. The way he was trying to impose his authority on her just because he had no arguments to defend himself made her stomach churn.

“I’m not making decisions.”

“You are,” she slammed a hand on the the desk. “Do you really think I don’t know what you’re doing?”

Her father reached his hand out, keeping his voice still low. “Calm down.”

“I will not calm down!”

Ferrante took a deep breath, raising from his chair to properly speak to his daughter. If there was one thing he didn’t tolerate, it was disrespect, but getting angry wouldn’t work, not now, at least. It would only make Nina more stubborn. If he wanted her to listen to him, he needed to get his point across nicely.

“What do you want to do with your life?” he asked her, apparently changing the subject.

Nina furrowed her brows, taken aback by his question. She could sense he was trying to direct the conversation somewhere, and she was quick to pull herself together.

“I want to study,” she said steadily.

“You’ve finished school,” he countered.

“There’s university.”

“Women don’t go to university.”

Nina squinted her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “Then I want to work.”

“Poor women need to work. Do you want to ruin your hands in a factory?”

A glimpse of irony flashed across his face. Once again, his purpose seemed to be to make her feel stupid, or naive, like she had no idea how the world worked. The thing was, he was right, to some extent. Nina had little experience, she didn’t know everything. But there were things she knew, things she didn’t like, and she wasn’t going to accept them just because that was how life was.

Vincenzo walked around his desk to approach her. He placed his hands on her shoulders, his expression softening. “I’m only worried about you,” he said. “About what your life will be like if you go on like this.”

“It’s my life, dad,” she whispered, feeling the tears well up in her eyes against her will. “Maybe you’re right, and I’m ruining myself with my own hands. But the choice is mine to make.”

Despite everything, she thought she could make him understand. There had to be a way to get through him, to make him see, she didn’t want to ruin the bond they had always had. Because she would make her own decisions either way, and she wished for him to support her. She needed him to support her.

“You’re my daughter. I can’t stand back and watch you do that to yourself,” he shook her slightly. “Let go of these fantasies, Nina. Real life is something else.”

Of course. How stupid of her to imagine that he could even try to understand. She shrugged his hands off, forcing back her tears. “You’re wrong.”

Her father nodded to himself, taking a step back. “We’ll see,” he simply said. “As for Stefano, I told you already. The choice is up to you, I’m not forcing you to do anything,” he reassured her, but his condescending tone had the opposite effect.

“You’re not forcing me to do anything, but that son of a bitch is always around.”

“Language.”

Nina scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. He didn’t see the point. He didn’t want to see the point. He only cared about business, about power. Why was she wasting her time?

She made her way towards the door, but she stopped in her tracks when her hand grabbed the handle. After a moment of hesitation, she spoke again, but she didn’t around to look at him.

“You’re making a mistake.”

Tommy watched as Nina strode out of Ferrante’s study with a face like thunder. He had heard the screams, but he hadn’t been able to make out what the fuss was about, the long sequence of Italian sentences unfamiliar to him.

Those kinds of arguments had happened frequently, over the last three days. Nina had become unmanageable - not that she had ever been the manageable type. But she had gotten worse. If someone so much as glanced at her the wrong way or said one word too many, she’d turn it into an excuse to fight. She was sensitive, and snappish, and she seemed to have lost the ability to put on her mask of coolness and indifference. As a way to heal his wounded ego, which still burned from the things she had said to him, he told himself it was a good thing she had rejected him. If she had the gall to talk back to her father like that, there was no doubt she’d act even worse with her husband, and he had enough headaches already. And for sure, he would’ve never wanted to be at the receiving hand of her temper.

Nina stopped in front of him, recollecting herself, and Tommy couldn’t not notice she radiated the same frigidity as when they had met for the first time. “My father wants to see you, Mr Shelby,” she said coldly.

Ah, now she called him Mr Shelby. As if she hadn’t been whimpering his name in his ear a few nights before.

“I think we’re way past the formalities, sweetheart.”

His remark was enough to make her falter. She blinked up at him, shocked by his bluntness.

“Way past,” he repeated, raising his eyebrows.

“Will you lower your voice?” she hissed, taking a look around to make sure no one was near.

Tommy held back a smirk at her flustered state. Her usual frown had deepened, and a tinge of red had crept up her cheeks. Had the situation between them been different, he would’ve gladly went on. He had to remind himself he wasn’t in the position to tease her anymore. Nina had said it very clearly, she didn’t care about him. What had happened between them had been a mistake, she regretted it. She regretted him.

Then why were her eyes telling a different story?

Nina huffed, tucking a rebel strand of hair behind her ear. “He’s waiting for you,” she murmured.

Her arm brushed against his as she walked past him, sending a spark of electricity through his whole body. Leaving him wondering when he had gotten to the point where the slightest contact threatened to make his self-control crumble.

Nina examined her figure in the mirror, a niggling uneasiness taking over her. She wasn’t used to doll herself up like that. She had put on a beautiful dress for the occasion, done her makeup, managed to tame her long hair, and she had half-hoped she would be happy with the result once she was done. However, in her silk dress, in her makeup, with her hair away from her face, Nina felt like a fraud. Ridiculous, even.

She had always been the ugly duckling of the brood. When her cousins had started to bloom into beautiful women, she was still all elbows and knees, drawing the petty comments of her aunts, poorly hidden behind harmless jokes. She remembered all too well the embarrassment she felt every time they pointed out her flat chest, joking about how if she cut her hair she could be mistaken for a boy. She was ashamed to admit that even though she wasn’t that gawky kid anymore, those words had stuck with her. She tried to convince herself she didn’t care about being pretty, that her mind was her primary concern, but the truth was, sometimes she wanted to feel pretty.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and just pretend, she told herself, straightening her back. It was a little exercise she had trained herself to do over the years. Head high, impassive face, don’t let them get to you, act like you know exactly what you want, walk like you know exactly where you’re going. It worked, most of the times. Maybe if she pretended long enough one day she’d be able to convince herself as well.

Once ready, she crossed the upstairs floor of the house, reaching the separate corridor in which her parents’ bedroom was located. Her mother was standing in front of a full-length mirror, fixing some pins in her hair. Nina leaned against the doorframe, and allowed herself to stay in her company for a while.

Out of the comfortable clothes she used to wear, out of the kitchen, out of the restraints of her role as a wife and a mother doomed to annihilate herself, she looked years younger. The dress she was wearing was modest, elegant, and the dark blue shade perfectly complimented her complexion. The shadow of a rare genuine smile grew on her face as she put on her pearl earrings, mixed with an emotion Nina couldn’t quite recognise. She could almost swear there were tears in her eyes. Nina realised she didn’t even remember the last time she had seen her mother taking care of her appearance like that, and that finally having the chance to do it must be a source of melancholy as well as joy. Was that what a life dedicated to the care of a whole family had done to her? Had she forgotten herself to that degree?

“What are you looking at?” Maria asked gruffly, glancing at her daughter through the mirror.

How sweet. Nina pursed her lips to hide a sly grin, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Nothing.”

Her mother frowned, smoothing down her dress, then she turned around to face her. She looked at the ground for a moment, then back at Nina, a hint of uncertainty in her eyes. “How do I look?”

A pang of sorrow spread in Nina’s chest at the thought that her mother might feel anything else but beautiful. “Stunning, mum,” she said truthfully.

“Is this too much?”

“No,” she shook her head. “It’s perfect.”

The older woman turned to the mirror again, her features softening. “Go downstairs, tell your father I’m almost ready.”

Reluctantly, Nina mustered up the courage to get out of her hiding, mechanical step after mechanical step, like a man facing the gallows. She didn’t want to go. She didn’t want to feel her relatives’ judgmental stares on her. She didn’t want to see Stefano. She didn’t want to watch Tommy and Agnese be officially presented as a couple. Husband and wife. It made her feel sick. Her heart skipped a beat as she saw Tommy standing on top of the staircase, checking the time on his pocket watch, handsome in his formal attire.

His head shot up upon hearing the sound of her footsteps, and for a while it felt like the whole world had stopped turning just for him to have that moment. That moment to look at her, to take in the sight of her in her long, light blue dress that enhanced her tanned skin; with her ebony hair pinned up, exposing her delicate neck and cleavage, instead of hiding her as usual.

“You…” Tommy’s breath hitched in his throat, his mouth dry. You’re beautiful.

He didn’t dare say it.

“Hi,” Nina murmured, fidgeting with her own fingers. She had no idea of what to do or say. Standing there and staring at him like an idiot was clearly not an option, so she decided to approach the stairs. But one look at the long series of steps was enough for her to understand that there was no way she could descend it in her heels without making a fool of herself. Had she been alone, she would’ve gripped the railing like her life depended on it and ungracefully stomped her way down.

As if he had read her mind, Tommy offered her his arm without uttering a single word. He limited himself to peering at her, his gaze indecipherable, intense. Nina accepted his help, trying not to think about how natural it felt to have her hand in the crook of his elbow as they climbed down the stairs. Her legs were shaking, probably not because of the shoes, and she just hoped she wouldn’t trip over her feet and ruinously fall on her face. When she walked down the last step, she realised she had been holding her breath the whole time.

“Thank you,” she whispered, letting go of his arm.

Tommy nodded, taking a step back.

He needed a drink - or possibly two or three - to give him the strength to get through the night. Now more than ever he felt like he was putting handcuffs around his wrists rather than a ring on his finger. He had been telling himself that everything was going reasonably well, that following the plan which had been made over a month before was the best thing to do. He was going to marry the woman they had chosen for him, a beautiful woman, who would make him look good. Agnese was sweet, and gentle. She would take care of the house, of him, give him children. He would have a good life with her. She would bring him peace, turn his house into a safe place away from the wickedness of his business.

Nina would’ve brought him the storm. With her, a life of confrontation, of compromise, maybe even conflict would’ve awaited him. He would’ve had to answer to her, to accept her sharp edges and the sides of her that weren’t easy to deal with.

No, he was lying to himself. Confrontation, compromise, conflict had been his daily bread since he was a kid. His restless nature had never cared for peace. His skin was thick enough not to get cut on her edges. And pain had never scared him anyway. But that didn’t matter. The wedding would be in two weeks, then he would leave that place behind. Leave Nina behind. He’d forget about her like he had forgotten about Grace. He had done it once, he could do it again. Even if he’d prefer to rip his heart out of his chest.

For the engagement party, Agnese’s family had chosen to celebrate in the garden that surrounded the two houses. Everything had been planned with the outmost care: there were tables, flowers, candles, waiters balancing trays of champagne, musicians playing mesmerising tunes. A whole team of chefs had been hired for the delicious dinner. Nina had been pleased to find out that she wouldn’t have to share the table with Stefano, this time, who had sat with his family and other guests far away from her. Nevertheless, she had barely touched her food. Her stomach was still twisted from the events of the day. Now she was standing aside, watching as some couples gathered to dance. Including Tommy and Agnese.

They were both beautiful. Exceptionally so. Agnese was radiant in her ivory dress, she glowed with the happiness of a girl who was about to see all her dreams come true. Tommy held her in his arms with great gentleness as they swayed to the rhythm, and despite the vicious bites of jealousy, Nina was unable to look away. He’d fall in love with Agnese, of that she was sure. Her cousin was stunning, and sweet, and caring, all things Nina was not. Tommy would fall in love with Agnese and realise how blind he had been for ever setting his eyes on someone like her.

A tall figure came to stand by her side, and she was engulfed by the smell of a strong cologne mixed with cigar smoke. The man exuded an aura of power, dominance, along with a calm that was nothing more than a cover for something far more dangerous, unpredictable. Vito Spinietta. Her body tensed, and she instinctively crossed her arms over her chest. Sending him a sideways glance, she was met with his calculating gaze. He was inspecting her, assessing her, searching for any weak point as though he could read into her.

“Good evening,” he said, not taking his eyes off her.

“Good evening.”

A heavy silence followed. Nina wasn’t a fool, she was aware that if Stefano’s brother had taken the trouble to go speak to her it wasn’t to make small talk. The heir to the Spinietta empire was too practical a man to waste his time on pleasantries, and certainly wasn’t there for the pleasure of her company.

“I know there’s no point beating around the bush with you,” he said, confirming her suspicions. “So I’ll be direct. I’m here on behalf of my brother.”

Nina tilted her head in amusement. Had it really become a family matter? Had a no on her part caused such commotion?

“Stefano’s a good guy,” he announced solemnly. “It’s just that sometimes he acts the wrong way.”

Nina had to hold back a dismissive laugh at his statement. A good guy. It was almost as pathetic as the excuse he had made up for his behaviour.

“What am I supposed to do with this information?”

“He cares about you.”

“So you’ve taken it upon yourself to play Cupid,” she said bitterly, with a little edge of sarcasm, earning herself a stern look. “It doesn’t suit you,” she shook her head, mocking him behind an expression that was meant to feign innocent honesty.

Vito raised his chin, reacting with silence to her insolent replies. “It would be good to unite the families, considering the circumstances,” he said instead. “And a rejection could be seen as…” he paused, searching her face. “An offence.”

His words had Nina knitting her eyebrows in a frown. He had pronounced them in an ambiguous, vague way, but she hadn’t missed the gloomy undertone. “Is this a threat?”

“What do you take me for?” he asked, clearly just pretending to be offended. “I’d never threaten a woman.”

He was playing the card of the man of honour. As if he and his brother hadn’t done even worse to the girls of the town. She had to say something now. Too long had she let Stefano scare her, she wouldn’t make the same mistake with Vito. The Spiniettas weren’t the only ones who got power, she came from a tough family as well, and she would no longer forget who she was.

“Listen,” she started, turning to properly look at him. “I’m not scared of you, or your brother, or your threats.”

Vito clenched his jaw, his mouth twisting into a grimace.

Nina took a step towards him, further decreasing the already short distance between them. “You two think you can do as you please because I am a woman?” she narrowed her eyes. “Think again. Cause one word from me and you’ll see your whole organisation fall around your ears.”

“Is this a threat?”

“It’s a promise.”

Nina wanted to see his mask slip. She wanted him to reveal himself, like Stefano had revealed himself not so long ago, when he had put his hands on her in her own house. She wanted him to give her a reason to draw her knife on him, there, in front of everyone. But Vito wasn’t Stefano. It would take a lot more to make him lose his composure.

Vito took a step back, observing her. He could see why his brother was so adamant on having her. Stefano had always loved a good challenge. He didn’t want someone obedient by nature, someone who would listen to his every command. He wanted someone difficult, someone he could take his time to bend. Or break. It would’ve taken way more than a few slaps to break that one.

Their conversation came to an end when Stefano walked up to Nina, holding out his hand to her. “Wanna dance?”

Nina took a look around. Her situation hadn’t gone unnoticed: most of the guests had been peering at her and Vito, trying to figure out what was going on, and now that Stefano had entered the picture, they were sending them subtle glances, waiting to see if Nina would’ve accepted his invitation. Her first instinct was to say no, but leaving him there in front of everyone would cause quite the stir, and surely take the attention away from the new couple. That was Agnese’s night, and she didn’t have the right to ruin it for her. Not after what she had already done. So she placed her hand in his, and unwillingly let him lead her to the dance floor.

His hand was light on her waist as he lead the dance, yet that contact felt heavy, violent. It made her skin crawl. She focused on the ground behind his shoulders, trying to ignore the weight of people’s stares on them. She was afraid to raise her head and find out Tommy was watching too.

It didn’t take her long to detach herself from her surroundings. She didn’t hear the music, she didn’t see the couples dancing around them, she was only uncomfortably aware of Stefano’s proximity, of the heat of his body, of the burning marks his hands seemed to leave into her flesh. He had the predatory eyes of a raptor as he scrutinised the uncovered parts of her body, taking on the appearance of a beast waiting for the right moment to bite.

“I love you, Nina,” he whispered in her ear, his tone pleading. “I want to make you happy. I want to give you everything.”

Nina could read it on his face. He did think he loved her, he was truly convinced that his sick obsession was love. It’s wasn’t merely a matter of wounded ego, he was sincerely hurt in his own, twisted way. And that was something that could potentially make him even more dangerous. A shiver ran down her spine, but she forced herself not to shy away, and she let him speak without interrupting him.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes with you, and I want to fix them. Let me make it right.” His arm tightened around her as he brought her even closer. “I can be good to you.” There was desperation now in his voice. Nina tried to put some distance between them, but he didn’t let her. “I can be good to you, and you can be good to me. I’ll teach you how to be good to me.” His fingers curled around her hand in a painful grip. “Think about what we could be together. Say yes.”

Nina squeezed her eyes, overwhelmed by his insistent touch, his urgent words; disgusted by the image of them living in the same house that had forced itself into her mind; repulsed by his eagerness to mould her.

The music ended, bringing them back to reality. Nina was relieved to be able to pull away from Stefano, whose grip had finally loosened. He was out of his mind if he thought she could ever forget what he had done to her. A wave of rage ran through her, but she was careful not to let it show. Straightening her back, she looked him dead in the eyes, and just one word left her mouth.

“No.”

Stefano’s face fell, disappointment and anger battling in his irises, and his fist clenched by his side. However, Nina didn’t stay there to wait for a reaction. She turned on her heels and walked away from him, from the dance floor, from the crowd of nosy guests. Her inner turmoil grew with every step, and her state of panic was such that she didn’t even realise she had entered her house. With an irritated huff, she hastily fumbled with her impractical shoes and left them at the entrance, then sought refuge in her bedroom.

She took some deep breaths, rubbing her face. It felt like the more she tried to fix things, the more she made them worse, and there was no way out of that endless cycle. What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to act? Who was she supposed to beg to drag her out of that situation? Because it was becoming clearer and clearer that she wouldn’t be able to make it by herself. When had things taken that turn? Had there been a mistake, a single, fateful mistake she had made that had caused all of that? Or was it someone else’s fault? Or was it no one’s fault?

Too many questions, not enough answers. Racking her brains to find a pattern, to put order to the events was useless. They were too tangled, too intricate. It hadn’t started when she had made love with Tommy, nor when he had kissed her, nor when he had appeared in her life. It hadn’t even started when she had pointed a knife at Stefano’s throat, nor when she had let him get close to her all those years ago at school. Had it started, perhaps, when she had insisted on studying? Was it her punishment for wanting more than she could have? More questions, still no answers. The worst thing was, she couldn’t see a way out.

There was a soft knocking on the open door, and when Nina turned around Tommy was there. He looked exhausted, as if the evening had drained him of all his energy. It was unusual to see him like that, he wasn’t the kind of man who let his distress show. For the first time, she realised how much the whole marriage situation had taken a toll on him.

If the reasonable part of her wanted him to leave, the other - the one she seemingly had no control over - needed him close to her. It was absurd how reassuring his presence felt. Maybe that was what had drawn her to him in the first place. When everything around her was swirling, when there was nothing certain or reliable, Tommy was stable, solid. Something to hold on to.

Nina forced those thoughts away. She was losing her mind. Tommy was the least stable thing in her life. He wasn’t there to stay, he would leave in two weeks time and she would never see him again, except for a few occasions, like Christmas or maybe weddings. Indulging in that kind of fantasy would only make things harder.

“Is this your plan?” Tommy suddenly asked, a hint of accusation leaking out of his neutral tone. “Say yes to Spinietta?”

Nina felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over her, and her musings disappeared to give way to pure surprise. “What?” she asked in disbelief, widening her eyes.

“You heard me.”

“That’s ridiculous, I’d never do that.”

“Is that why you were dancing with him?” he raised his eyebrows, pointing at the door with his finger, as if Stefano were outside the room.

Nina shook her head, still not believing they were actually having that conversation. “You shouldn’t mix whiskey with champagne,” she said dryly, her voice coming out harsher than she had intended. But Tommy didn’t seem fazed by it.

“You looked rather intimate,” he noted with a touch of contempt, too upset to realise how preposterous his assumptions sounded.

Nina’s mouth fell agape. She hadn’t missed the inflection in his voice. Was he… jealous? She squinted her eyes, taking a step towards him. “What’s this?” she inquired.

Her question seemed to catch him off guard. He wavered, and an emotion difficult to define flashed across his features. It was more than simply pain. It was like all the resentment Tommy had harboured since that fateful afternoon was flowing out, inexorable, making him unable to think with a clear mind. Biting back was the only way he had to protect the feelings he had foolishly let show. Guilt ate at her stomach at the sight, and she had to remind herself she had done what she had done for him, before anyone else.

As if finally coming back to himself, Tommy clenched his jaw, and took on his usual, impassive expression. “I can’t believe you,” he murmured. “After everything he’s done to you.”

Nina nervously fidgeted with her fingers, not knowing how to make him see that he couldn’t be more wrong. Did he think so little of her? “I’m not..” she trailed off, torn between her sense of guilt and her pride. The latter took the upper hand. She frowned, crossing her arms over her chest. “You have no right to lecture me.”

“True,” he nodded. “I have no right. Cause what happened between us was a mistake and you don’t care about me.”

That was the point. That had always been the point. Tommy thought she had cruelly played him, maybe even used him, just to discard him when she didn’t want him anymore. She exhaled deeply, not meeting his eyes. “It’s not like that.”

“It’s not like that,” he let out a humourless chuckle. “You said it, you’re taking it back now?”

“Stop it.”

“Eh?” Tommy’s voice raised, overlapping hers. “Are you taking it back?”

“I said stop.”

“You said-”

“I lied!” she snapped.

A tense silence fell in the room. Tommy blinked, and all the bitterness faded from his features. “Wha… what?” he stuttered, a confused frown forming on his face.

Nina didn’t regret her admission. She was so tired of pretending, of lying, of hurting him, and saying it out loud lifted a weight off her shoulders.

“I lied,” she repeated, more softly. “I never meant to hurt you. I…” her voice cracked. “I did it to protect you. To protect both of us.” There was no going back now. Her walls had been breached, and the words she had fought hard to keep to herself were leaving her lips before she had the chance to measure them. “Do you have any idea how much we’re risking? I’m risking? We talked about it, I told you how these things work.”

Tentatively, Tommy broke the distance between them, taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger, tilting her head up. “Is this what you’re scared of?” he asked incredulous, searching her face frantically, his frown deepening. “I’d never let anything bad happen to you. I’d never let anyone lay a fucking finger on you. You hear me?”

Nina believed him. He would stand between her and harm’s way without a second thought. But that was the problem. She took his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb over it before pulling it away from her face. “And what about you?”

“What?”

“Do you really think you could’ve changed your mind? That they would let you, at that point? You made your decision when you started courting Agnese.”

“Maybe they would’ve understood-”

“No. Her father would’ve wanted your head for humiliating his daughter. The deal would’ve been off and you would’ve been six feet underground in a matter of hours.”

And I’d never be able to forgive myself if something happened to you because of me, she wanted to add.

Tommy didn’t reply, but the pain in his eyes spoke for him. He knew she was right.

Nina gently stroked his cheek. “We never had a chance,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “And I’m not worth starting a war over.”

Tommy squeezed his eyelids, shaking his head as if to chase that unbearable thought away. Then, impetuously, he kicked the door shut and crushed his lips against hers. The force of the kiss knocked Nina’s breath out of her lungs, but she was quick to wrap her arms around his neck, pressing their bodies together.

Tommy backed her towards the dresser behind her, then he hoisted her up in his strong arms and sat her on it. A groan left his lips when Nina hooked a leg around him, bringing him even closer. His hands roamed down to her hips, gripping, squeezing, his tongue exploring her sweet mouth. He relished her warmth, her scent, her soft hands caressing his face, trying to imprint every little feeling into his memory. He wanted her, in the most raw, primal way. Because it was the only way he had to have her. Or at least, to delude himself he did. She was like water in his hands, she slipped through his fingers again and again, never letting him hold her, never letting him keep her. But with his fingers digging in her skin, she almost seemed real.

Pulling away to catch his breath, Tommy dropped his forehead into her neck, grabbing her waist. “You’re killing me,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You’re fucking killing me.”

Tears began to stream down Nina’s cheeks. She felt like the worst person alive. She was causing so much pain, to him, to herself. She gently stroked the back of his head, sniffling. “You should go,” she compelled herself to say, although in that moment she wanted nothing more than for him to stay. “They’ll notice your absence.”

“They’re all drunk, they won’t,” he contradicted her.

“Agnese will.”

“She’s with her sisters.”

“But-”

Tommy’s head shot up to look at her, silencing her with his icy glare. “Fuck them,” he husked, wiping away her tears.

Fuck them.

Their mouths collided again. Blood rushed through Nina’s veins as Tommy kissed her hungrily. She could feel him everywhere, she was completely enveloped by him, by his smell of soap, whiskey and cigarettes, by the feeling of his rough hands, and yet she wanted more. She wanted to crumble and be brought into a new existence, to melt in his arms and become one heart, one body, one soul.

They only parted so she could help Tommy get free of his jacket. He was back on her right away, leaving a trail of kisses from her neck down to her chest, his teeth grazing the soft skin from time to time, making goosebumps ripple down her skin. He impatiently lifted her dress, fingers brushing against her smooth legs. More free to move, Nina allowed him more space, and her insides clenched with desire when she felt the bulge in his trousers against her.

Tommy’s hand ghosted over her clothed sex, making her squirm in anticipation. “Tommy,” she moaned, urging him to touch her where she needed the most. Pushing her underwear to the side, he slid two digits into her wet entrance, coaxing a sinful, beautiful sound out of her lips. Nina held onto his shoulders as he started to move his fingers, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Look at me,” Tommy commanded, cupping her chin with his free hand. Her eyelids fluttered open, showing him her glossy eyes filled with pleasure, causing his cock to painfully twitch.

He pumped his fingers in and out of her, working her open, eliciting small gasps from her that threatened to make him lose his mind. His thumb went to stroke her clit, the unexpected motion making her yelp.

Fuck, she was so beautiful.

“Tommy, please…” she whispered, clutching the soft material of his shirt. “I need you.”

She didn’t need to say it twice. Wasting no time, Tommy slid his fingers out of her to get rid of her knickers, discarding them somewhere on the floor, then fumbled with his trousers, finally freeing himself from all restraints. He grabbed Nina’s thighs, pulling her closer to the edge of the dresser so he could position himself between her folds, then he entered her with one swift thrust, burying himself inside of her. Nina hid her face in his shoulder, one hand coming to cup the nape of his neck, the other clutching the fabric of his shirt. Tommy began to rock his hips, firmly yet slowly, giving her the time to adjust to the feeling of him stretching her walls.

Nina clung onto him as if he could shield her from the unknown, as if he were a shelter, a place where she could forget, even for a moment, the uncertain future that awaited her. A future she tried to escape from, but the more she ran, the more she found it on her heels, ready to catch her, to drag her into the darkness that had been threatening her for years.

Tommy’s pace quickened, becoming more desperate, almost brutal, arms wrapped around her waist, bringing every inch of their bodies together. Nina was surprised to find that was exactly what she needed in that moment. It kept her anchored to him and only him.

“You feel so good,” Tommy growled, digging his fingers in her flesh, and her cheeks burned at his words.

He set a merciless rhythm, pounding into her with sharp thrusts. Nina barely recognised the sounds that were coming out of her, but she was too lost in her pleasure to be worried about them. Breath hitched in her throat when he reached a particular spot that made her see stars, and he hit it again and again, drawing shaky whimpers out of her. With each minute that passed she felt closer and closer to her release, and Tommy must’ve been aware of that too. She let out a strangled noise when he brought a finger to her swollen clit, the fire in her abdomen too much to bear.

“C’mon, love,” he rasped. “Cum for me.”

He drew small circles on her sensitive bud, pushing her over the edge. Her walls fluttered around his cock, shockwaves gripping her body as she came undone. Tommy kept on thrusting into her, hips ruthlessly snapping as he chased his climax, until with a last, powerful thrust, he emptied himself inside of her, grunting in her ear.

For a while, neither of them moved. They stayed in each other’s embrace, panting, savouring that ephemeral semblance of peace. Nina nuzzled her cheek against his, the comforting scent of his aftershave filling her nostrils. Neither of them seemed to intend to let go first.

God, she didn’t want to let him go. Before she could control them, tears filled Nina’s eyes again, and she tried her best to prevent them from falling. Why did it have to be so hard? Why did she have to fall for the one man she could never have? Why did her happiness have to cause so much damage? The most irrational part of it was that despite all of that, being in his arms felt like the rightest thing in the world. They perfectly moulded together like they had been created just fit into each other’s arms, to fill each other’s voids. Nothing she had ever felt could compare to it.

Eventually, they moved apart. They fixed their clothes in silence, pulling themselves together as best they could. Not that Nina cared at all. There was no way she was going back to the party. No one would notice anyway.

“Go,” she whispered, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen on his forehead. “They must be looking for you.”

Tommy gently cradled the back of her head, pressing a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll come to you later,” he promised.

Nina nodded, forcing herself to smile. But tears started flowing as soon as she watched him walk out the door.

Heart, Body and Sould tag list

@zablife @queenofshinigamis @raincoffeeandfandoms / @justrainandcoffee @call-sign-shark

@kmc1989 @babayaga67 @kmhappybunny240 @diorrfairy @mariaelizabeth21-blog1

@gaslysainz @brummiereader @loverhymeswith @fairypitou @prettywhenicry4

@mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @woofgocows @girlwith-thepearlearring @goblinjnr @outlanderuniverse

@citylights31 @neonpurplestars89-blog @outlanderuniverse @red-riding-wood @evita-shelby

@look-at-the-soul @gathania93 @wonderlanddreamer @thelastemzy @meadows5

@emotionalcadaver

General tag list:

@iamngoclinh08 @lilywinchesterlove @fandom-puff @capitanostella

@caelys @lucillethings @peakyxtommy @queenofkings1212 @lyarr24

@kmc1989 @call-sign-shark @jomarch-wannabe @ce1iat @areyenotfondofmelobster

@red-riding-wood @optimisticsandwichgladiator

Tommy Shelby tag list:

@50svibes @bellabarnes1378

[madwomansapologist]

My forever in this twilight request is so good! Thank you for letting me know that you didn't include Dammon because you didn't have enough information about him! It's good to know 👍 I really agree about your life philosophy which is "it's our duty as human beings to care for others"! Especially when not only we deserve kindness (unless given a reason not to 😤), our lives would actually be easier if we're even a bit kinder to each other! Your Tav is a menace and I love it! Your Tav is just wonderful! I love it especially how unfair their lives are after the fall of Elturel 🥺, it's even worse when they're just civilians not some threat that must be taken care of 😫, just how much the discrimination has taken a toll on them, how ironic that they're the only one they have met that genuinely sees all living beings as another part of nature despite not being the only Druid they have met 😞, how kindness should be the norm not a surprise 😩, how they have a lot expectations of the world but reality is disappointing in general 😒, how exhausting it is to keep surviving that even Zevlor has limits, how much weights Zevlor had to carry even before Elturel fell, just how they helped others & bring hope to others 🥹, even how they talked of success as if failure isn't a possibility, how he sees them everywhere, he even thought of what would they do in this position when they left, he's not sure if people are always talking about them or he only pays attention when they're mentioned, he thought about his last good moment that involves them 🥹, his thoughts about Volo are accurately hilarious 🤣, they still drank the bad wine even though Astarion had warned them about it XD, they said it's much better although it hurts a lot, how shocked he is while they just shrugged saying they were curious, Zevlor couldn't help but just laugh, the fact he could laugh while temporarily forgetting about his troubles is because of them & they're a beacon in the darkness to him 🥹, they remind Rolan of what he could have been & his regrets, & his mistakes 🥺, they have a lot of good qualities he "hates" & feels jealous of, he does admit to himself that he can't hate them for real, he's aware it's not his fault but he wanted someone to direct his anger to, just how much he can't stand the idea of losing his siblings 😭, he noticed that they're there but he ignored them, he thought they would leave to find someone who would give them attention but they didn't, they literally just drank as they sat next to him before going to camp for a few days, he's the one who broke the silence, he asked why which they looked at him but didn't answer 🤐, he tried again then they answered like me, he couldn't think of anything else except why which their answer especially the last line is something I can relate to a lot 🥲, he took a drink that looked like it could kill someone from drunkeness into their empty glass 🫗, his answer though and his thought of finding someone else to hate 🤣 Thank you so much for doing my request because I love it so much :)

the reason why it took me so long to answer this was because i kept going back into my asks just to read it again and again and again. that made me so fucking happy. i don't think you can even imagine how excited i was for the rest of the day (because i was online the moment you send it).

i will probably do another one with dammon and alfira, just so all my favorite tieflings will have a chapter on their own hihihi

[softtdaisy]

Obviously I'm back to comment the race (I needed to sleep it off a bit because waking up so early on a Sunday should be illegal🫠)

I don't even have the words to comment Charles' race (can you call it a race when you are out in the first lap?) and I was so mad when George had to stop because come on FIRE, are you serious?? 😤

But I have to admit that I can't even be completely sad about these things because LEWIS P2 OMG!!! I almost can't believe that I saw him on the podium, with the way the season started I thought it was never going to happen 🥹

And I'm absolutely not going to say anything about the shitshow that went down in the last 15 minutes of the race, I couldn't believe what I was seeing -🇮🇹

Hello sweetie!! (I know, I’m so tired it’s illegal to make race this early)

For real. I’m still mad that I woke up at 7 am just for Charles to dnf 5 minutes later. Not even one lap. That’s unfair. 😩 And George??? Oh boy we didn’t need that!

Lewis was definitely the reason I keep watching the race 🥹 I’m so happy to see him at the front like that, fighting for the win and on the podium at the end!! I really thought it would be more difficult for Mercedes this year and turns out it’s not that bad 🥹 (it is for Ferrari though ugh.)

But globally yeah…this GP was a mess. Losing the two alpine at the end broke my heart. And oh boy restarting the race for one lap under the safety car is so stupid. Now we have a month to get over this race!

[misteria247]

https://at.tumblr.com/fabuloustrash05/696457589016363008/49a53bu4mp9z

I feel like I'm being called out here... Of course I was never one of those people that like to bash the show or make those accusations. But still, I feel like I'm being called out and I don't like it. 😤 (jk)

The 2012 TMNT was my favourite iteration of the franchise growing up and is still my favourite to this day~ ^_^

(Okay fine- It was actually the first series I ever watched that introduced me to the franchise as a whole before I discovered all of the others before it (and the fact that they're all based on a comic book series) when I finally first had access to the internet when I was young.)

That being said though, I will have to admit, it does make me feel sad and a bit uncomfortable when I think back on how mean (and a bit unfair) the other 3 often were to Mikey, more specifically in the early seasons (1 & maybe 2 I can't remember well). But.. Idk. 🤷🏿‍♀️ Maybe it is because I'm an only child like OP said, so maybe I'm just not used to the bickering/rough and tumble "tough love" relationships most siblings seem to have.

I just have no choice but to take people's word for it when they say "it's just what siblings do", 'cuz I don't think I would ever truly understand what it's like.

(It honestly makes me glad that I never have to deal with it myself, no offense. 😅)

I don't know why I decided to ramble on about that, I'm sorry. 🙇‍♀️

First off please don't apologize for the ramble I love hearing people's thoughts on things! Second off I will admit that seeing sibling dynamics such as the boys no matter the variation (which they all have moments like this in the other variants of the franchise) when you don't have siblings yourself or experienced it can be a bit jarring to witness. And I can agree that the older boys had their moments where they were rather mean towards Mikey but also there are moments where Mikey can be rather mean towards them as well. It's a dynamic that while it appears to be mean and full of nothing but hitting it's actually much more than that.

Whenever the boys do their jabs or rough house with one another if you watch you can see that the boys never really take it too far with one another. Raph rough housing with Mikey is a pretty normal thing between siblings (my own little sister who's the middle child like Raph used to rough house with my little brother who's the youngest out of the three of us constantly). It's pretty common amongst middle siblings and the youngest siblings of a family. And the only reason why Raph rough houses with Mikey so much is because he knows that Mikey can handle it. Plus a lot of the instances occur when Mikey in typical baby sibling behavior presses Raph's buttons till he snaps. And it's the same way with the other two boys when it comes to this type of thing. Donnie's more quick to snap at Mikey because he and his little brother are the closest age wise. And with such a close age gap between them they're guaranteed to get rough and snippy with one another.

It's the same with Leo and Raph who argue and bicker constantly with one another, because they're closer in the age range and are the two oldest children of the boys. It's also one of the reasons why it takes a lot more for Leo to get snippy with Donnie and Mikey and rough house with them because of that age gap.

But I can promise you my friend that even though they have their moments of being mean to one another they care very deeply for each other and if they do overstep a boundary and hurt one of their brothers they're very quick to try and make amends with one another and fix the issue. It's rather difficult to explain a siblings bond because it's just so complicated in a way.

Like me for example I'm the oldest of three children, and there was moments in my childhood where me and my siblings would bicker and rough house like it was nobody's business lol. But as we got older we grew out of it and got along better with one another. Plus the boys are teenagers and like many teenage boys they're gonna be rough and somewhat rude at times because that's just how boys are lol.

But I completely understand why it's a bit unsettling to see them argue and get rough with one another and why it'd somewhat sadden you and others to see. Also you should totally check out the other variations of the Tmnt franchise because they're also hella good and you'd have a fun time watching them!!!!!

[brummiereader]

Thank you so much Reb ❤️!

She definitely did give him a little taste of his own medicine, mission accomplished I think 💅😉. I know right ?? He can go off with Grace but Y/N can't have anyone.

I love how you put it, humbled. Because I like to think that after every remark and thing his family and Arthur say he does reflect on it and he realises that he is being completely unfair with Y/N. 😂, it was both of them trying to be smart with eachother with neither of them winning.

I love that trope too, his protectiveness couldn't stay away. Thank you for you lovely compliment ❤️, their relationship gives me a headache though, I feel like I need a map to navigate it 😂.

😍 I love that gif, I use it all the time! Grace is definitely the rebound girl 😬. I think she knows Y/N is Tommy's everything which is why she probably works harder at creating a bigger rift between them. Grace is just a small distraction for him and that's exactly what's she's doing distracting him from what she's actually doing 😤.

You are absolutely right! Their whole relationship since she refused his proposal has turned into one big misunderstanding. All they really need to do is have a proper talk about things, but things couldn't have gotten worse.

😂, I just love your reactions! They make me giggle so much 🤭. He really stuffed that one up didn't he? Ooh I like how you put that, "pretending it's over" it's so true! Everyone else can see how much they're still so madly in love but they just can't move forward from the past.

😂, she brought that on herself with those words 🤦🏼‍♀️. Somebody knock some sense into this man! After he's cooled down he might figure things out...or not 😈. But the next chapter will be very angsty, I do promise there will be a fit of fluff in this series somewhere down the line 😂.

Thank you so much hun! Sometimes I feel my words don't flow at all so this lovely comment has me smiling so much ❤️! Thank you for this amazing comment and reblog, you have no idea how much I appreciate at it 😘.

PREVIOUS PART

Hopelessly Devoted (PART THREE)

Summary: After the previous day's events relentlessly play out in your head you come to the realisation it's time to move on from any hopes you had of rekindling your relationship with Tommy. But just as you decided to turn the page, Tommy's thoughts begin to be plagued by the past. His attempts at confessing how he really feels short lived when he discovers he has been betrayed on the day his plan to take out Billy Kimber falls apart.

Warnings: Language, angst, mutual pining

Authors note: The song Y/N sings is "Where have all the flowers gone" covered by Olivia Newton-John.

" Shit..." you said as you looked in your bathroom mirror dabbing the cut on your throat with a cotton ball doused in alcohol as you glanced down at your trembling hand, quickly grabbing it with the other to stop the shaking as your frustration with the constant nerves engulfing your every waking breath refused to relent. Walking over to your bed you sat down as tears began to form in the corner of your eyes. How was there even any left? You thought to yourself as you rested your head in your hand, exhausted from another night of almost no sleep. Biting the corner of your mouth you gave up letting the tears fall down your arm as the previous day's events played out in your head, tormenting you over and over again at the bitter pill you had finally forced yourself to swallow. This was it. I'ts over, there was no point in trying to kid yourself into thinking otherwise. Tommy may not have said the words to you himself but Kimber's men had made it clear to you of his feelings when they had a knife pushed up against your neck threatening your life. He was protecting the new barmaid he had known for five minutes by giving your name so freely, putting you in harm's way, the woman he had known his whole life the same woman he once wanted to marry at all cost. You thought to yourself as you glanced at his pocket watch sitting on your bedside table, glaring at it as if he had returned his love back to you, discarding anything he once felt for you like he had with your own feelings for him. Standing up you wiped your tears away as you straightened your body out trying to regain some sort of control over your emotions. Would he even care if you told him what happened when you left the Garrison? What did it even matter, you quickly determined. You had no intentions of telling him, you would not let him think you needed his protection, have him pity you, have him believe you couldn't fend for yourself. You was on your own now that much was clear, his feelings towards you finally understood when he replaced the one thing you never thought he would with such disregard and heartlessness. If Tommy was moving on it was time you did the same. No more tears no more day dreaming of what could have been. From this day forward you promised yourself not to let the heartbreak he had caused you drag you down any further. New me, new start. You mentally hummed to yourself like a mantra as you looked in the mirror hanging on the wall, holding up the burgundy dress you had picked out against your body. "Fuck him" you said as you nodded at your reflection, reassuring yourself on the hardest decision you had ever made. Grace can have him, good luck to her.

" Where is she?" Tommy huffed as he loomed over the large table in the room adjacent to the betting shop as his family looked on shrugging their shoulders. " I dont have fucking time to wait around for her shit" Tommy said as he pulled out his new pocket watch, the weight of it not feeling the same, the shape of it not sitting in his hand how he liked how he had become accustomed to.

" Yes your relentless brooding over her is not obvious at all" Polly uttered quietly under her breath as she licked her finger, turning the page of the newspaper in front of her as Arthur and John sniggered at eachother.

" What's that, hm?" Tommy said as he leaned forward his eyes darting between the three of them as Arthur put his hands up in defence unable to hold back the laugh he had been trying to keep in. You were getting under his skin, and Arthur found it the most comical thing he witnessed all week.

" Sorry brother" Arthur said as he sniffed back his laughs clearing his throat. "But she always has had you by your balls. Not that you'll ever admit it" Arthur snickered as the whole room let out a burst of small laughs whilst Tommy's face twisted in anger. There was nothing more loving than teasing a family member in the Shelby house.

" Right you all done? " he said pointing at everyone as he pulled his pocket watch out to check the time again " Five minutes" he mumbled as he clenched his jaw. " I'll fire every single one of you" Tommy muttered as he sat down in his chair with a huff.

" Alright now that you've had your little temper tantrum can we get to business. And she's ten minutes late not five" Polly said taking a sip of tea, a smile on her lips as she watched the realisation on Tommy's face. His watch for the first time in ten years was on time. Fuck. He had become so used to it being five minutes late he would plan all his meetings around the little habit you had started ten years ago, never bothering to or wanting to turn it to the right time. Except this time you was ten minutes late. Just as Tommy was about to get into another rant about your tardiness the sound of your heels echoing loudly though the betting shop had everyone but Tommy turn their head.

"Fabulous" Polly mouthed to you when you walked into the room, motioning up and down with her hand at your outfit as Tommy's head nearly flew of his neck when he turned to face John and the wolf whistle he had just sent your way.

"There she is" Arthur said, sending you a wink of approval as you strutted through the room with a new air of confidence passing by Tommy as he finally turned his head to you. Looking you up and down Tommy cleared his throat as he shifted in his seat hitching his trousers further up, his eyes widening as he looked you over. Was this for his benefit or everyone else's he wondered as he looked at the way your dress hugged every curve of your body, every curve he could never keep his hands off.

" You're late" he said as his eyes pierced into you, piercing through that fucking dress you had decided to wear to make him jealous, to torment him. He thought to himself as he tried to stay composed, tried to stop himself from saying something he would regret.

" Oh am I?" you replied nonchalantly as you pulled a chair out from the side, scrapping it along the floor to the opposite end of the end of table. " Only five minutes though" you said sitting down, having not once looked at him since you entered the room.

" Ten" Tommy replied as he leaned his elbow on the arm of his chair, his fingers resting in front of his lips as he watched you brush your hair behind your shoulder. Something was different. And since when did you start wearing dresses like that? Tommy thought to himself when he suddenly determined you had a new man. His only evidence being that dress he couldn't keep his eyes off and the small remark you made the other day about your relationship being over, a remark that had been playing on his mind ever since. His eyes still boring into you, Tommy quickly decided he'd find the bastard you was dating and rip his throat out for daring to go near you. Had everyone forgotten the warning he had given?

" Replaced that too I see" you said finally looking up as your eyes locked onto each others, a smirk on you lips as you enjoyed your new founded confidence. Last night's events had finally given you the push you needed, the wake up call you had been longing for.

"Shall we start" Polly said as everyone else who had been watching your interactions finally shifted their eyes away from the palpable tension between you. Nodding his head Tommy lit a cigarette shaking the flame from the match as he continued to watch you in the corner of his eye.

All throughout the meeting you could feel the heat of his glare burning into your cheeks with every minute that passed whilst you constantly fidgeted in your chair, desperately wanting to free yourself from his incessant stare. Your confidence was back but not enough to face his piercing blue eyes that he enjoyed watching you squirm under and the foul mood he had forced you and everyone else to endure. As for Tommy he had no interest in what his family had to stay. Instead he was more concerned as to what had you looking so pleased with yourself so poised, a far cry from how you had been in recent years. His concerns only heightened when John went over dates for an event Tommy had planned for everyone in celebration. A celebration for what, nobody new yet.

"Talked with Aunt Pol, only date free is February the fifteenth, in a month's time for your...whatever it is" John said chewing on the end of his pencil as he squinted at his handwriting on the piece of paper in front of him. " No the sixteenth" he said looking up as Polly rolled her eyes.

" The nineteenth" she said as she shook her head at her nephew whilst John shrugged his shoulders replacing the pencil in his mouth with a toothpick.

" Right yeh, fine" Tommy said as he mentally went through the dates in his head, hoping his plans in a week's time would go the way he wanted to actually have something to celebrate about. "Y/N you gonna write that down?" he said looking to you as he tapped his fingers on the table trying to gain your attention.

" I can't come" you said as you finished writing in your notebook finally looking up to see the irritation growing in Tommy's face.

" It's a company gathering. You don't have a choice. Moving on..." Tommy said as he flicked his ash into the glass dish beside him as he lent back into his chair.

" I'm not obligated. It wasn't in my contract" you said as you crossed your arms.

" You don't have a contract" Tommy scoffed as he rubbed his brow in frustration.

" Well I want one, that way I know exactly where I stand"

"Think you're making it pretty clear were you stand sweetheart" Tommy said as you glared at him. " So what is it that has you so busy you can't come, care to share it with us?"

" I have plans with someone" you lied. In truth, you didn't have any reason to not got to Tommy's event. You just didn't want to, knowing you wouldn't be able to endure another evening watching him with her again.

"You have plans with someone in a month's time? Who?" Tommy asked stubbing out his cigarette getting annoyed with your short response" With who Y/N?"

" What's it got to do with you?"

" Another man, is that it hm? You fuckin..."

" Right think we're done ay" Arthur said standing up as he clapped his hands together cutting Tommy off in attempt to break the tension before a slagging match ensued between you both. Staring eachother down you was the first to get up, briskly walking away with a scowl on your face as Tommy brushed his hand down his face.

" See that fucking attitude I have to deal with?" Tommy said as he stood up turning to Arthur. It wasn't the first spat you had ever had in front of everyone but it had been the first time in a long time that you finally bit back at his words, catching him of guard.

" Wonder where she learnt that?" Arthur said as he placed his hand on Tommy's shoulder before walking off with a smirk on his face.

" I won't stand for this kind of attitude in a work place! Hey, you all listening to me?" Tommy shouted as he turned to everyone in the betting office and their weak attempts to hide the amusement on their faces.

" We hear you baby brother!" Arthur called out as he grabbed his hat walking out the door. Clearly everyone was mad at him, mad at the way he had treated you the previous evening in the Garrison . But Tommy was just as mad at himself for letting the events play out. He felt blindsided by Grace's gift. He needed you to know that, he needed you to know the last thing he wanted was to be parted from it.

It had been a few hours since the meeting when the tension between you and Tommy had almost turned into a full blown argument one that potentially had the chance of you launching anything you could find at him. Thankfully Arthur had intervened, stopping you from embarrassing yourselves in front of the whole betting shop. For the remainder of the day you had stayed out of each others way letting your anger towards one another simmer down. But an hour before closing time Tommy had called you into his office. His plan was to apologise for the previous evening, albeit in a cold uniquely Tommy way. But nonetheless he felt guilty for what had happened last night. Little did he know, he was only going to make things worse. As you entered his office Tommy looked up from the various papers on his desk to the scowl still spread across your face. You was clearly still mad at him, did he really think he could just apologise and his cruel actions would be forgotten?

" Hand me my diary" he asked as he rubbed his forefinger above his top lip watching you as you crossed your arms in frustration. Did he seriously ask you in here to fetch his diary for him ? You thought to yourself as you stormed over to the shelves behind him as he cleared his throat reaching for the pack of cigarettes on his desk. Slamming it on the table in front of him you started to walk off when he grabbed your arm stopping you.

" I need you to write down the dates John gave at the meeting" he said as he looked up at you and the storm of anger building in your face.

" You couldn't have done that yourself?"

" Forgot them" he said as he picked up a pencil handing it to you.

" You never forget anything Thomas Shelby" you snapped back grabbing the pencil from his hand as you started turning the pages, a little huff leaving your throat that Tommy couldn't help but smile at. " What's this?" you asked pointing at a black star one week from today.

" The day I finish my dealings with Kimber. The dates" he said nodding at the book, lighting a cigarette as your hand wavered over the paper at the confirmation from Tommy himself that what Kimber's men had said yesterday when they had you pushed up against the brick wall behind your home was Indeed true. Turning the page a sudden surge of discomfort started to build within you, a discomfort you hadn't felt since he left for France. He was putting his life at risk once again, and the only reaction you had was worry, worry that he wouldn't come back from it. " There" you said quietly, pushing the book towards him as you turned to leave.

" Y/N' wait" Tommy said as he stood up walking over to you." The other day at the Garrison...the pocket watch i didn't want to.."

" Just stop Tommy" you said as put your hand up cutting him off " We've both moved on, why hold onto the past right? " you added as Tommy let out a deep sigh whilst you turned your head away from him avoiding as much eye contact as you possibly could.

" That's the thing, I never mov... What's that?" He said as he moved your hair away from your neck, you body flinching as his thumb rubbed along the small knife mark on your skin. " Y/N who did that to you?" Tommy said, his voice getting lower as a surge of anger started to course through him.

" It's nothing Tommy"

" Nothing? You're lying" he replied with a scoff as he moved your hair away again, ducking his head down to to get a better look when you swatted his hand away. " Looks like someone had a knife to your throat" he said as he let his hand drop to his side, fury rising within him at the mere thought of someone hurting you.

" Don't be ridiculous. I was cutting my hair and nipped my skin. Why do you care anyway?"

"You never was very good at lying Y/N" Tommy said huffing as he watched you bite the corner of you bottom lip whilst you fidgeted in place. " And you really think I stopped caring about you?"

" Yes" you said as the words caught in your throat, tears welling in your eyes as you spun around to the door not wanting him to see you like this. His pity was the last thing you needed to add to you ever growing list of reasons to feel insecure.

" Y/N wait, I need to know what happened " he said as he tried to turn you around but stopped as you shrugged him off you, opening the door then slamming it shut behind you.

" Fuck sake" Tommy muttered under his breath as he watched you return to your desk through the window of his office. There was no way he would let this slide. You was clearly lying to him and he was determined to find out why.

As closing time approached you picked up your belongings when your movements had Tommy who was deep in thought abruptly stand up grabbing his coat and hat. If he was coming out here to bombard you with questions as to what happened he could forget it. You thought to yourself as you hurried to the door hearing him call your name. "Fucking door" you mumbled, pulling at the handle trying to open it as you looked over your shoulder to see Tommy heading your way, luck finally falling upon you when John stopped him putting the book of takings in front of him. Open, open, open! You thought as you rattled the handle pulling it back and forth when the door suddenly opened with ease and Grace walked in.

" Y/N" she said as she looked you over, taking in your reddened face from your efforts, a small chuckle leaving her lips. " Came to surprise Tommy after work" she said as she continued to stand in your way.

" How lovely" you said sarcastically as you tried to push past her when she put her hand on your arm.

" I know about that old pocket watch you gave Tommy all those years ago" she said looking at you. " Best you let go off the past, after all Tommy said it was only a silly little teen fling" she said with a small smile.

" Fling?" You repeated taken aback by what she had just said, what Tommy had said to her.

" Childhood sweethearts never last Y/N, don't be naive" She said in a mocking tone, belittling you without an ounce of shame at her hurtful choice of words. What were you saying, what had she said? Tommy panicked as John continued to bother him with the takings of the day. As your head turned to face him, Tommy swallowed harshly at the sight of a tear falling down your cheek.

" Let her go Tommy" Grace said placing both her hands on his chest as he walked over to where you had been standing, watching you storm out onto the streets of Watery Lane as the door closed behind you.

A fling, a fucking fling. He once asked you to marry him, promised to spend the rest of his life with you, her words couldn't have cut deeper if they tried. Let them have eachother. You thought to yourself as you clutched your coat around you heading for home, back to the four walls where you knew you would ultimately fall apart once again, your new founded confidence short-lived your own promises discarded, dwindling down into a pile of self-doubt and surrender after Graces cruel remarks. Could things get any worse?

One week later..

Today was black star day, the day Tommy planned to take out Billy Kimber and all of his dealings. Sitting in the corner of the Garrison nursing the drink you had ordered over an hour ago you glanced over to see Tommy and Grace standing behind the bar pouring drinks for his men, undoubtedly to numb any nerves that threatened to appear risking the plan Tommy had been preparing meticulously for weeks. Lifting his head from the glass of stout he was pouring Tommy caught your eye. It was the first time in almost a week you had looked each others way, anything you had to say to one another was passed on to anyone in the betting shop that was willing and had the patience to deal with both of your stubbornness. But today was different and Tommy couldn't help but notice the way you was looking at him, the same way you looked at him as you both waited on the platform for the train to arrive and take him and all of the other men saying goodbye to their loved ones off to war. The only difference between them and you was you had barely uttered a word to eachother, his final goodbye before he boarded a quick peck to your cheek.

And as if you had been transported back five years, tears started to form in your eyes as you abruptly stood up leaving the Garrison like you did when Tommy stepped on the train not once looking back, leaving you alone and heartbroken. What you didn't know was, Tommy did look back. He pushed his way past all the other men in the carriage in search of a free window shouting your name as he desperately tried to get a glimpse of you one last time before he left for war.

"Y/N!" Tommy shouted as he grabbed his coat and hat racing out of the Garrison. He wouldn't let what happened on that platform five years ago play out again.

" Tommy wait! What are you doing?" Grace called out after him as she watched the Garrison doors close behind him. " Why does he always go after her? He doesn't even love her anymore" she seethed as she looked to Arthur who raised his brow downing the rest of his drink.

" Doesn't love her? He's a stubborn bastard but he never stopped Grace" Arthur said as he walked away leaving her fuming at Tommy's unrelenting devotion to you.

"Where have all the young men gone,

long time ago?

Where have all the young men gone?

Gone to soldiers, every one..."

You sang, tears streaming your cheeks as you sat by your little brother Georgie's gravestone, his life taken like so many others during an air raid. Wiping your tears you continued to sing as if time had stood still and you was back in 1916 sitting on the grass in the only place you felt peace and calm, waiting for the men you loved so much to return from war.

" Do you still sing that song for me?" Tommy said as he slowly approached you, afraid you'd stop.

" Leave me alone Tommy" you sniffed as you stood up brushing the remaining tears away from your cheeks, looking out at Small Heath in the distance.

" We live in the same town, work in the same place. I can't...I don't want to" He said as he stepped closer wanting to reach out to you, wanting to hold you in his arms like he should have done all those years ago.

" Yes, Tommy Shelby doesn't care what anybody else wants, what anybody else asks does he? you replied misunderstanding the meaning behind his words. " Why did you follow me?" you sighed picking up the dead flowers by Georgie's grave as you turned around making you way down the hill not wanting to even wait for his response when Tommy put his arm out, stopping you from walking any further.

" You were crying" he replied feeling like a teen boy again stuck on what he really wanted to say. " Y/N I.." Tommy sighed as he brought his thumb up, brushing it down your cheek. " I knew you would come up here" he said, his hand dropping from your face as he abandoned the small speech he had prepared as he made his way to the cemetery to find you.

" Crying, I've been crying for five years, only now you notice?!" you scoffed pushing past him.

" Oh I noticed, its not like you try and hide it, do you? " Always pushing it in my face, have you forgotten who's fault this all is, eh?" Tommy said as his stance stiffened, his coldness towards you making a swift return when you didn't respond to his veiled attempts to be tender with you.

" Here I almost forgot. Throw it in the cut like you did everything else when you came back from France, like you did my heart. After all it was just a fling " you said storming back to him as you pulled his pocket watch out of your coat, shoving it into his hands.

" A fling? Y/N!" Tommy called out furrowing his brow as he watched you run down the hill. "You broke my heart first, you fucking broke mine first!" Tommy shouted back taking his cap off as he brushed his hands through his hair. " Fuck!" He yelled throwing his hat onto the grass as Jeremiah and Arthur came running up the hill.

" Tommy!" Arthur shouted as his brother turned around to face them, brushing his eyes with the back of his hand.

" What? What is it?" Tommy sniffed as his eyes darted between them both. "Well?"

"Tell him what you just told me" Arthur said breathlessly as he turned to Jeremiah stood beside him.

" Just heard there's to van's driving up the Stratford Road. An old Corporal of mine said he recognised some of the men..he said it's the Kimber boys"

"Ada wake up! You and the baby get into the ball ring where there's lots of people" Tommy said as he stormed through their house on Watery Lane as Arthur, Jeremiah and his son Isaiah followed behind him.

" What's going on?" Polly said as she took in Tommy's panicked state.

"We've been fucking betrayed" he replied rubbing his forehead. " Someone let slip. Kimber's men are on their way here" Tommy said as he paced the room back and forth.

" Yeh but you can handle them Tommy" Polly said having confidence that her nephew had another plan if something like this was to to happen.

"It's just us. All the Lee's are on their way to Worcester, we're outnumbered" Tommy said as the realisation his plan had fallen apart started to sink in. "Fuck!" he shouted as he slammed his hands down onto the top of a cabinet, the pictures and ornaments rattling from the force of his outburst.

"Who else knew today was the day you was moving on Kimber? You said you kept it a secret who else did you tell? " Polly questioned as Tommy leaned his weight on the mahogany wood, clenching his jaw at what Isaiah had told him before they had all entered the house.

" Isaiah" Tommy said as he turned his head to the young Blinder. " Tell them what you just told me"

" Tom, I don't think she was..." he said as he stepped forward when his boss cut him off.

" Tell them!" Tommy shouted turning around, his patience wearing so thin he was close to loosing any self-control he had left.

" The other day I saw Y/N with Kimber's men in the alley way behind her place. I thought she'd come to you and tell you herself. Tom they look like they roughed her up " he said as Tommy scoffed at his remark.

" Nah I don't believe it. Y/N would never..." Arthur said when Tommy interrupted.

" Betray me? She fucking hates me, you've all seen it " he replied raising his brow as he stepped closer to his older brother. " You've always stuck up for her, but she did this, she threw us under the bus. All of us, even you Arthur" he said pointing his finger in his older brothers face.

" I'd back away if I was you Tommy, because this time I won't let you win baby brother" Arthur said pushing him in the chest away from him. " We've known her since we were bloody kids. Y/N would never betray this family, she's one of us" Arthur concluded as he walked away grabbing the bottle of whisky on the table, pouring himself a full glass before he too lost control of his temper.

" Tommy that girls been devoted to you the moment she met you, you're blinded by your bitterness towards her. Did you not tell anyone else? Polly asked as Tommy shook his head forgetting or ignoring the fact he had, the very same person who had written it in his diary. No, Tommy's sights were set on you, only you could have done this only you could have betrayed him.

(Part Four coming soon!)

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[outrunningthedark]

Honestly the only way I'll accept the "Shannon is a victim of lazy writing" cop out to her behavior is: she is a 'victim' (loosely used) in that they gave her the sympathetic out by way of death to soften her actions, instead of forcing her to face her son and explain to him she was leaving of her own volition yet again after basically emotionally threatening Eddie into letting her fully back in, fake pregnancy included. They killed her after giving her a reasonable send off by way of divorce because "oh wait, people will think that's a bitch move, LET'S KILL HER INSTEAD, because then we can focus on Eddie's sorrow of it instead". That's the lazy writing. Her ableism and abandonment was a full circle arc. Sure, MAYBE, she had PPD to start and Eddie's overbearing, ableist family didn't help the matter at all, but you. Dont. Leave. Your. Child. You don't beg to come back when you weren't the one to reach out. For as much as I hate that type of person,I do have to admit how nuanced they wrote her regarding it, because yes, we know she's a shitty mom, but damn she worked the scenarios to her liking well.

THIS IS EXACTLY IT. Steps to making Shannon sympathetic/likeable even though she should have never been a mother, much less a mother to a disabled boy: 1. Be sure she's conventionally attractive so at least *some* fans will enjoy her presence for shallow reasons (that hair! those clothes! ugh! so pretty!) 2. Have Eddie correct everyone who criticizes her for running out on Christopher by reminding them "I ran out first". 3. Bring her back when it's beneficial to Christopher. He needs his mother to help him get into a good school? Here she is! Doing right by her kid! 4. She wants to see her son again! Her son misses his mom! What's the hold up? God, Eddie! Give her a chance! 5. Make Shannon be the one to acknowledge that she and Eddie have failed at having a real conversation about their future, rather than the reverse (she's realizing her mistake! she's trying to do things differently!) 6. Give the viewers a couple *cute* moments between mom and son to coo over. 7. Eddie must forgive her for leaving and be willing to start over. If HE is able to move past it, then she can't be THAT bad, right? She obviously has redeeming qualities... 8. Decide to make her get hit by a car and d*e. Instant waterworks! That poor woman didn't deserve such a horrible fate! Christopher's lost his mother for REAL! She can never make up for the time they lost! :'( And if THAT wasn't enough, they bring Shannon back for flashbacks of Christopher's younger years. Except, because the episode was titled "Eddie Begins", it focused on his failings as a parent, not hers. She was left all alone to care for her disabled son! Eddie reenlisted without telling her! She needed a partner, not a provider! She was willing to go back to work part-time! Maybe things could have worked out between them if they communicated better 😞 But we'll never know now because stupid Tim killed her off! 😤 It's so unfair! You know what's unfair? Real disabled children being raised by neglectful/abusive parents or straight up abandoned because it's too much work. Never mind the ones who are literally k*lled because their "problems" are too much to handle. 911 gave fandom a glimpse into a world they didn't know existed, based on the pushback I get. Good. You clearly needed it. :)

[heyimboredtalktome]

Need any solangelo headcanons?

Nico can't drive, like no, he drives very chaotically and it's dangerous for other people so Will is the one to drive

Nico has sweet tooth and Will is like "VEGETABLES"

Will pouts and melts at the same time whenever Nico's singing or playing piano because a) he's so good that's unfair and b) he's in love with the best boy on earth

Nico is melting whenever when Will plays basketball

Will makes shitty poems to Nico and one time he sang a serenade under the window, playing lute. Considering Will can't sing at all it sounded horrible but Nico liked it anyways

Nico just likes watching Will do his work. If you're in the infirmary, don't mind Nico di Angelo sitting on the table or a windowsill, watching Will healing someone

Even though Will knows Hades doesn't really like him, he keeps inviting Lord of the Underworld to family dinners to show that he's a good pair for his son

They have black cat named Mika uwu

Okay so this reminds me why I love you so much because I have thought of all of these at some point in my life:

So the driving thing. Gays can't drive. Like it's a fact. The saying for gays is spare the wheel, spare a bone or two. Nico did try to drive Argus's van with Will in shotgun and oh lord the way Will was screaming, he might as well been trying to sing soprano or something.

Nico has stashes of sweets and candies hidden all over his Cabin like some he buys and some he gets from Reyna and when Will's busy or something well say hello to hyperactive Nico because oh god that tiny boi is out to destroy you. Also about the vegetables, well Nico hates all vegetables (what the fuck do you mean green jellybeans don't count as a vegetable? Have you seen how ugly that ugly that shade of green is???)

Also about Nico playing the piano holy fuck I've thought too much about this, literally every piano piece I listen to I'm like "womp, time to imagine Nico playing it"

Will playing basketball with those tall limbs of his and Nico's like s t a r i n g and someone's like hey Nico and Nico's like " shhh shut UP I'm doing something extremely important don't you see????

YES THE FACT THAT WILL'S NOT THAT GOOD AT SINGING BUT STILL TRIES FOR Nico destroys me everytime I think of it.

I was thinking of this one earlier like when Nico's bored he always goes to the infirmary and he's like I'm bored will I'm b o r e d and Will's like good! Cut the bandages for me and the next thing you know Nico is cutting bandages like his life depended on it, so s e r i o u s. When he's not doing anything he's just staring at his boyfriend because-

Yes and Nico cooks even tho Will's like I wanna cook too 😤and Nico's like I don't want to kill my dad and Will's like I don't cook that bad🥺 and Nico's like yes William you do cook badly enough to even kill an immortal now gimme the salt.

There's this stray black cat around here too and I've knighted him *patriotic music* Sir Nico

[staysuki]

I just read chapter 36, the conflict is already written out for us here. (My Take at least)

Poor somi, she’s so misunderstood. She has been accused of being insensitive of others and an arrogant persona. She is neither, merely a bothering presence who is pricking at the nerves of those around her. I see it now, this ‘villain’ so to speak is someone who doesn’t even know they are the ‘bad guy’. She like Yeji, is unaware of the consequences that come from trying there very best. She so honest and righteous that it rubs people up the wrong way. The problem isn’t just Somi but also those who chastise her. There is an understanding that’s not coming across to characters such as Ryujin and Yuna. A middle ground that Somi and everyone else is struggling to meet, to be wary of one another. No ones the bad guy here, this is one of the most realistic confrontations that can come up irl.

I’ve had an experience like this, early high school when I won nearly all the academics awards for all my subjects. Other student began to turn on me because they saw me as a unjustified rival, I threatened their position by doing what was right for me. Even if I never did anything to them personally, I unintentionally made others loose an opportunity. Parents came to the school to accuse the teachers of being unfair to their children and I became a problem for just trying my best. I was the bad guy that I never intended to be.

People are always going to try and find something to make you the villain if the threat is real for them. Somi isn’t a villain, she’s just trying her hardest to do what’s right and others see her as a brick wall. We are lacking balance.

Ps I’m feeling so much better now 🥰 that’s super cute that you were counting down the days, I’m a special gal. I also really missed you and your beautiful writing 💕

~ Lovegame anon

welcome back sober lg eonnie, i thoroughly enjoyed the half-drunk thoughts as well ♥️

EXACTLY 😤 somi is no meanie (i mean, kinda). she lives life the way she knows how to live it— dilligent and headstrong, she simply has no stops nor filters with the way she talks or deals with things. ryujin (or yuna) isn't fully in the right either but none of them are bad people. you're correct that they simply can't reach a proper compromise because a) chan is currently not in the proper headspace to be reliable and b) changbin, who steps up to the plate in a logical way, is being waved off by somi because of the "hierarchy". nonetheless, all of them just needs to calm down and listen to each other—hence chan's meeting.

i also had the exact same experience in high school and it led me to being alienated hence when i stepped foot into college, i adapted a more laidback persona and didn't join a single extra curricular activity lmao. though somi is by no means inspired by that moment in my life cuz ngl, i forgot about that thoroughly traumatic experience until you reminded me of it JSHSJSHS. hopefully you're out of that situation now, we shouldn't feel bad just because we're doing well ♥️✨

[sketchguk]

Goodeveing! I met my crush and talked to him for a while! 😭 I tried everything you and your friend told me to thanks guys for Saving my ass 😭 We sat down and talked and he asked about my job so I thought I can ask about his too and he was so excited to talk about it! He was saying he wants to climb ranks quickly but it's not so easy and all. Then I told him that I watch those videos you linked me 😭😭😭 I told I have a friend who's interested in aviation so she sends me stuff sometimes sadshhhsssa and I showed him the pilot atc vids and he was sooooo happy 😭 he was saying everyone does that atleast once and when they do it all other pilots will start making fun of them hdssssss he doesn't make announcements but he hears about a lot of this happening! Then i asked him about the Boeing and Airbus thing and YO. THIS MAN. LOST IT . his eyes just went so wide and he was like OHMYGOD LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT 😭 and he spoke for 20 minutes straight 😭 he said he likes boeing because it has autopilot but a lot of controls the pilots do on the own! So it's like FYLING MY AIRPLANE and in Airbus a lot is automatic! He was saying some pilots think it's very macho and great to fly a boeing because you're doing most of the work 😭 he showed me a video of a controller saying "I thought you guys fly a Airbus for a second" and then the pilots say "Nah we fly real planes" 😂😂😂😂😂😂 he wants to do training in Boeing! What plane does your friend's bf fly? If he flies boeing he's macho otherwise he's not 😂😂 kidding! all pilots are cooool ahahaaa. You don't need to know all that I was just rambling omgg hhdada then I waited for h to ask me if i need something and My sister with her friends were going to get icecream so they were asking us what flavour we want, and he asked me Do you want vanilla? And do you want me to any toppings? And I said no but your number maybe 😭 the way I said it didn't make sense but I was just waiting for an opportunity 😭 and he went like 😳 . wow I didn't see that coming. And then he gave me the number 😭😭😭😭😭 I can't believe sending you asks saved my life 😂 thank you guys so much !!!!! I messed up with the number thing it was not as smooth as your friend but I did what I could and it surprised him ! He also said thanks for talking to him about planes and stuff hhdadas he said he feels soft that I talk about his passion AAAAH HHDADASSA I hope he texts me soooooo I want to talk to him soon 😔 thanks guys againnnnn - 🍰

🗣️ WE'VE SECURED THE NUMBER, WAHOOO !!!!

It's the way that we could co write a research paper about boeing vs. airbus at this point lolll. I'm glad that the conversation topics helped you out !!!! "A friend who's interested in aviation" - that's me that's me that's me !!!! 🙋🏻‍♀️ (although, the only thing I'm really interested in is getting u a hawt pilot bee eff)

And I hope that you got to talk about yourself plenty too <333 Did you get to share anything exciting???

My friend is invested in this relationship now 🥰 or at least I will subject her to listening because this is fun loll. And she said her bf flies a boeing 777 and 787, whatever that means 😭 my air force father must be so disappointed in me, but it is what it is, ya know??

You did the number thing !!!!! I think it worked out pretty well the way he asked questions LOL. I LOVE ice cream !! Did you get vanilla??? I personally believe chocolate is superior but every opinion is valid <3

That's so funny how we secured you his numberr. Imagine one day, you have to tell him the story of how Tumblr user sketchguk and anonymous friends gave you the advice to be a smooth bombshell 😎👍

You won't text him first?!!! I hope he does though (soon). But if not, I think you should send something <33 I don't know if he will hold the expectation that you'll send a text first because you asked for his cell (unfair if you ask me because we did the hard work of securing that number 😤) .

[taeyungie]

oooooh em 😭 to be honest, i didn't think you'd answer it, but you ended up doing it so carefully slskslsn that was amazing!!! ❤ it's funny how you say you don't like describing yourself, but you're so detailed at the same time: pear shaped body and almond eyes??? i've never seen these expressions before, maybe they're really common and i'm just a fool though. i stopped picturing you since you said you're blonde, my mind was "error 404 not found" and it's easy to get used to taehyung's profile pic, so most of the times i saw it and "oh! It's em", but now i can picture you more assertively!!!! and there isn't a single thing that "doesn't sound pretty" in what you said, it was all very honest and unique <3 :) btw HEART SHAPED LIPS??? just like hobi 😭😭 and the greenish eyes... 🥺 em i pictured you with brown eyes, but that's even more special... "the green eyes, yeah, the spotlight shines upon you..." i don't know how it's in your country, but i don't know anybody with green eyes in real life 🥺 so once again you proved yourself to be a rare person with rare traits for me ♡!!! and a style smilar to jk's???? SO COOL!!!!!! about your nose, i think that once we see how much a nose contributes to our personality we can never unsee it, so i hope you know that <3 if you're 1,64 (once you said you're 1,65 - em's shrinking slnsknsl), then you're 0,5 centimeter taller than me. basically the same height? that's cool 😌 it's unfair you say all that and i say nothing about me right... so here i go~~

i have a shoulder length dark brown wavy hair and my eyes are dark brown too. they're a bit of dead eyes, so even when i'm smiling they tell how sad i'm in the inside 😭 (lmao?) sometimes i think it's charming, but most of the times it just ruins pictures. they're big and my eyelashes are REALLY big, but they're also really straight, so you can't notice it. and i wear glasses since i was five :( i hate it, probably the thing i hate the most. i just hope some day i can have a surgery and get rid of it once and for all!! my eyebrows are light grey and are very shapeless, but they go well with the rest of my face, i guess. my nose is a little upturned slsnlksn people usually like it and i think i like it too, since i always thought that my profile is much better than my face from front (it's really hard for me to take a picture with a face from front and actually like it). my lips... i don't know how to describe them, you're so much better at it. but they're small and thin (not tooo much thin) and their philtrum is accentued. do you know that basic and easy lip shape that people usually draw? i think that's it. i like my tooth, but i don't like my smile, do you know what i mean 🤣 i have no idea of which my face shape is, really, i wish i could know... and i have freckles on my cheek, they're closer to the sides and furtherst from the nose. there are times i like them and times i hate them, they are constantly mixed with pimple marks and pimples themselves 😤since you cutely mentioned the word pear in your text, i searched and apparently my body shape is an apple (?) SLSKSN basically i'm skinny, but everything i eat goes to my belly :( and i have 0 style, that's something i need to work on

oh 🥺🥺🥺 you're such a sweetheart!!! my heart is melting 🥺 ah, i'm sorry if i'm talking too long or missing asks :(( sksbsjsjks i think it's easy for me to describe things because i'm good at noticing details and using accurate words haha words i used to describe shapes are commonly used here where i live, but i didn't think they might not be used worldwide hahah my bad! 🤭 it's honestly a weird feeling, not too bad but like you said just by seeing profile picture it felt different and now it gets more private..? just knowing how someone might look like. but you're so kind :( that's absolutely the sweetest. also!! by heart shape of my lips i meant just my lip shape when my mouth is closed, not my smile!! hahah i have a very plain smile, maybe a little bit heart shaped, not as much as hobi, that would be so cute though 😭 and about my height KSBXJDJS honestly i have no idea because it's been years since i measured myslef 🥺 but i know it's something around that hahah but i like the info about being around the same height too 😌😌😌💖

now, gosh, yorr description of yourself is absolutely adorable 🥺❤️ starting from your face and hair, i can absolutely imagine how beautiful you are 🥺 i definitely think your eyes are charming, don't mind the pictures!! sometimes it can't capture your real beauty, and i think i exactly know what kind of eyes you're talking about, they're absolutely beautiful 🥺 and to add to it dark eyes and long eyelashes? gorgeous 🥺 i'm sure your glasses suit you, glasses are beautiful, but i hope you'll be able make your wish come true one day 🥺🥺 little upturned nose! gosh, what a sweet thing 🥺 well defined philtrum is gorgeous and i'm absolutely jealous of it! I'm sure your smile is beautiful, every smile is beautiful and yours deserve all the love too 🥺❤️ and freckles! how beautiful are you, really 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much for sharing this part of yourself with me!! 💖💖💖