#UHHHHh yeah i just did this and i liked the colors n shit. :)

[janusfault]

mmmmmmMIKU

[zet-sway]

OC GAME THING

heY THANKS A BUNCH FOR TAGGING ME I had a lot of fun with this

I was tagged by like at least three people @spookyvalentine @rosenkow and @yennas THANK YOU ALL OF YOU THANK YOU

December Shepard

Look ya'll I suck at modding so her hair just isn't what I envision and that's okay lmao

General-

Name: December Shepard

Alias(es): Jack calls her Big D. Otherwise she goes by Shepard or Dess (and eventually Siha c:)

Gender: Cisgender woman with tomboy / androgynous gender expression

Age: 32 by the end of the war. Shepard and the alliance agreed to count the two years she was dead in her age, simply to avoid the confusion of having to explain "i was dead for two years" to every person who contested her age being two years short of her birth year.

Birthdate: April 11, 2154

Place of birth: United States Civilian Station Hadid USCS-HDD-3963

Hometown: Lived on the CS Hadid for a while but ultimately got jostled around with her military parents.

Spoken language(s): Galactic standard / English

Sexual preference: Demi-pansexual/bisexual

Occupation: Joined the Alliance at 18, became a fighter mechanic, then whoops she did something important and she's been selected for ITC and now she's a Spectre. (I'm still figuring out how this happened lmao)

Appearance-

Eye color: Greeeeen

Hair color: Red

Height: 5'-7"

Scars: Long scar on her left forearm from a door that had a sharp edge. Post-war she's all fucked up from the crucible including a line across her scalp that just won't grow back.

Favorite-

Color: Red and green

Hair Scale color: green

Song: I don't know what kind of music they're listening to in 2180whatever but here's a playlist I made for her. (Spoiler alert it's all 90's music because I think she'd listen to nostalgic shit)

Food: Coffee (Yes it's food and she will fight you)

Drink: Coffee coffee coffee coffee

Have They-

Passed university: Graduated N school so uhhh

Had sex: Prior to Thane had a handful of flings.

Had sex in public: In the alliance, privacy is hard to come by lol

Gotten pregnant: Nope.

Kissed a boy: Ya

Kissed a girl: First kiss was a girl

Gotten tattoos: No but would like to

Gotten piercings: yeah you should have seen her mom's face when she came home to find her daughter had a lip ring at 16. She doesn't wear it anymore since joining the alliance.

Been in love: Oohhoohoooo Sere Krios

Stayed up for more than 24 hours: *laughs in N7*

Are They-

A virgin: Virginity, as we know, is a construct designed to put women in arbitrary categories of "purity" or whatever. Also this question was asked already lol

A cuddler: Yes but also bored easily so doesn't like to cuddle for very long unless it's bedtime or unless there's some kind of movie or conversation happening.

A kisser: yeah and she's had more than a few makeout sessions with various people throughout her life. Kissing is fine - it's moving past the kiss that's hard for her.

Scared easily: No fear / one fear meme about losing Thane or suffocating in space again

Jealous easily: She experiences jealousy and then manages it like an adult.

Dominant: Maybe sorta kinda has a thing for people calling her "Commander" in bed - but she won't fucking admit it.

Submissive: In the bedroom: not with anyone but Thane - but that's more of an exploratory thing than something they do all the time. Submission is an act of trust for her. Outside the bedroom: she didn't get promoted for her ability to submit lol

In love: Yes ( ◜‿◝ )♡

Single: Nope

Random Questions (tw for self harm/suicide mention)-

Have they harmed themselves: Not intentionally.

Thought of suicide: Thought about it, after being resurrected by Cerberus.

Attempted suicide: No

Wanted to kill someone: She wanted to kill Dr. Gavin Archer lmao

Have / had a job: Former mechanic aboard the SSV Hawking.

Have any fears: The reapers winning. Becoming a reaper husk. Getting spaced again. Losing Thane. Mom finding out she's in bed with a lizard man.

Family-

Sibling(s): None to speak of

Parent(s): Hannah Shepard, with whom she has a rocky but not horrible relationship. Dad passed away before she joined the Military and it was a whole thing and she doesn't want to talk about it.

Children: No. And she won't call Kolyat her stepson, but she does treat him like family.

Significant other: Eventually marries Thane, some years after the war.

Pet(s): Cats. Post-retirement she has chickens.

I'm tagging @commander-krios @saecookie @shut-up-alexa @quietonewisp @battlemastershepard @golickadrell yahhh uhhhhh I'm so bad at tags IF YOU WANT TO DO THIS PLEASE FEEL FREE :D no pressure

[catboyelphaba]

what’s this??? gelphie character references??? >:3

yeah! if you’re having trouble picturing them in my writing (or if my descriptions don’t really match up with how you see them in your own head), here’s just how I imagine they look (and how you can expect to see them described). (this also exists in case i forget some details) <3

Elphaba:

tall (like 6′2″ probably?)

lanky bby. stringbean. got that Library physique.

toned arms, still. she carries a lot of books around and it’s not like that’s not gonna build (or at least maintain) muscle

FANGS this is NON-NEGOTIABLE (and her other teeth are sharp, too)

a few freckles!!

do i. do i need to say that she’s green

i once read a fic where she blushed purple (instead of just darker green) and i’ve lived by that headcanon ever since

eye color is a whole spaghetti-tangle of genetic fuckery (and her lineage being. unique also throws another spanner in the works) but she’s got brown eyes w/ little gold flecks in them

*voice of god* behold! the holy no-tiddies mathematical expression: childhood neglect/malnutrition + a dubious-at-best ruling of afab (that’s canon, don’t come for me) + the metabolism of a hummingbird on speed + constantly walking around a big-ass college campus

i promise i’m not a creepy dude who writes about boobs all the time i’m just a trans guy and an escapist

sharp! elbows, knees, tongue, you name it

why the fuck does she lose her glasses after Popular that shit makes no sense. i wear glasses and will never get over this. anyways she’s blind as fuck without them and it’s safe to assume she’s wearing them whenever i write her

dark under-eye circles

i mean,,,,,, she’s a college student majoring in a STEM field like. what did u expect lmao

right-handed, but reasonably dexterous with her left as well

HOWEVER her handwriting ranges between “yeah i think i can read that?” and “fucking illegible” at any given time this girl has NO patience and her brain is faster than her hands by MILES

nose is a lil crooked (common symptom of Will-Fight-A-Bitch Syndrome)

scars

oh boy so many uhhhhh. 

lots of common ones like knees/elbows from just Being a Kid

several in the wrist/forearm region, mostly from her teeth

most of the more serious ones are on her back. they’re shaped like buckles and sharp lines and the death-masks of flames and one of her favorite hobbies is not talking about them

two almost-identical ones on her right hip and shoulder that she legitimately does not know the origins of (literally no significance to this, just kind of funny)

short nails. she bites em when she’s nervous. whoops

glinda already waxes poetic about her hair in the book so i’ll leave it at that ;) only distinguishing characteristic i usually add is that it’s like. hella long. like waist-length at least

Glinda:

short!! tiny!! (like. 5���1″ max she is SMALL!!)

n chubby! aughhg my vision of glinda is just. so soft she makes me happy to think about. i’d love to get a hug from her any day of the week

teeth are a little crooked but in like. a charming way

fuck it, she has freckles too. more of them, b/c she doesn’t spend as much time inside as Elphaba does

pale as fuck; see above. doesn’t tan, just gets freckles (as a fellow pasty bitch i can relate)

this one’s kind of dumb to specify lmao she blushes like a normal person

two subtly-different blues in her eyes. it’s weird and it looks like a trick of the light at first but it lends her some mystery

i had a conversation with an online friend about this YEARS ago :,) i miss her... love you, olive, wherever you are...

it’s important to pay attention to her eyes in conversation. she might be acting dumb but she’s keyed IN. much sharper than a lot of people realize, or give her credit for

oh boy the boobie question. uhhh you guys know what? i’ll leave this one up to you, honestly it’s not v important to me

the round/soft to Elphaba’s angles <33 fuck i love that dynamic so much

probably needs glasses but would NEVER wear them. a lil squinty as a result, sometimes

actually gets the appropriate amount of sleep! good for her, honestly. charismatic enough that she can talk her way into extensions/out of missing assignments VERY easily to catch those extra Z’s

lefty!! (so she and Elphaba can hold hands without compromising their dexterity or whatever) her handwriting is really neat b/c she has to go slowly in order to not smudge the ink

so, naturally, Elphaba’s handwriting annoys the fuck out of her kjhgjfkdfsj (she can still read it with barely any trouble tho b/c she’s a fucking simp i don’t make the rules) (oh wait. i do.)

misc. facial features

cute lil nose!

OH MY GOD SHE HAS DIMPLES I ALMOST FORGOT

pierced ears, naturally

no scars, surprisingly. she was a cautious kid

nails aren’t long, but are well-maintained

her hair is like. ungodly soft. v shiny, naturally curly, just as bouncy and sunshiny as she is <333

she’s just such a ball of positivity??? i lov,,,,,, she,,,,,

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #371

“some of those that work forces are the same that burn crosses”

What is one song you feel as though you sing particularly well, if any? Probably none, lol. What was the last lengthy task you completed? I love these unique questions I've had lately, but damn, are a lot of my answers "I don't know," lol. What type of photography do you enjoy looking at? Do you take any photos yourself, and if so, what types of things do you prefer to photograph? I love floral and wildlife photography. Landscapes, too, and I have a great fondness for boudoir for reasons I've mentioned in previous surveys. I like taking nature pictures, mainly. Have you ever gone out for the Black Friday shopping rush? Did you enjoy it, or not so much? Or, what’s the busiest shopping day you’ve ever experienced? Hell no, that's a hard pass. I'm sure the busiest shopping experience I've had was like at the mall or something around Christmas, idk. Do you enjoy reading diaries or stories you wrote from when you were younger, or does it embarrass you? If you’ve kept them, was there a particular reason for hanging on to them so long? NO. I DON'T. BECAUSE I CRINGE INTO ANOTHER DIMENSION. I keep a lot of it for memory's sake, but goddamn, is it always embarrassing. What would you say was your first true hobby? What about your most recently developed one? Um... the first thing I really remember is video games. I played Spyro like, a LOT, along with other childhood games. I was just really into gaming at a young age. Is there one thing that throws off your mood more than others, whether it be lack of sleep, lack of food, heat/cold, etc., and when was the last time you felt especially cranky? THE HEAT. I become so irritable. I was needlessly cranky a few days ago for whatever reason. What kinds of things are you likely to complain about? My legs hurting, more than anything. Also being hot. Do you like to put any extra effort into your food in terms of presentation, or do you prefer to just put it on a plate and eat it as it is, no frills? Ha, no. It's not gonna look fancy in my stomach, so whatever. Have you ever dated someone who had kids? No, and I very much doubt I ever would. Are there any candles in the room with you? No. Does the last person you kissed have tattoos? No, but I tell her all the time that dainty nature tattoos would be THE most beautiful on her. When was the last time someone called you pretty? I think when I last updated my Facebook profile picture. Do you like the color pink? It's my favorite! Does your cell phone have a case on it? What color? It came with this thin purple one. What was the last song you had on repeat? "Moon Baby" by Godsmack. Ever kissed someone your parents hated? No. Your most recent ex says he/she hates you, you say? I wouldn't *say* anything, I'd break down sobbing. Would you feel hurt if your last ex was in a relationship? No. Have you ever had to choose between two people? Yes: Jason and Juan. Juan and I dated for less than a day not all that long before Jason and I got together, and Juan was pretty upset. He was nooot a fan of Jason due to a shared ex-girlfriend. Jason, meanwhile, just didn't care. What is the saddest thing that has happened to you? What about the happiest? I think the saddest thing has to be my breakup, especially when you know just how madly in love I was with him and had endless trust that he would never leave, and then he was gone in a flash one night. The happiest is, in turn, my recovery from said split. I found strength in myself and felt hope for once as I learned coping mechanics and got a psychiatrist that was worth a shit in my partial hospitalization program. What was the last new drink you discovered that was delicious? *shrug* Do you have a YouTube channel? Yes. I don't make videos anymore, though. Were you happy as a teenager? God no, my depression was awful. What do you do for your mom on Mother’s Day? Sigh. Not enough. I just tell her happy Mother's Day, give her a hug, and try to be an extra good daughter. Do you know anyone who follows a raw vegan diet and lifestyle? No. Can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you? I can do it alone (but only have once), but I like to bring my mom with me still. Would you have sex with someone of the same gender as you? I'm bi, so. Have you ever had a concussion? One or two, I can't remember. How many dresses do you own? Zero. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Yeah, my friend Summer has a darling leopard gecko. I want oneeeeee. They look so damn derpy and adorable, and their chill demeanor is something I really like in pets. Would you ever go bear hunting? No. Absolutely never. Do you prefer drawing or painting? Any particular reason why? Drawing, for sure. At least you can erase stuff, and paint is just so messy. Do you like raisins? NO THANKS MAN. Do you remember your locker combinations from high school? Nope. Do you forget to flip the page of your calendar at the start of each month? I don't have a calendar. Are you racist to any race? Nope. Have you ever intentionally hurt an animal? I've given cats and dogs a small pop on the rear, but nothing more than that. I hate doing even that, but with the language barrier and all, sometimes it's the only way to get your point across. Do you own any autographed memorabilia? No. Have you ever dated a twin? No. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? Oreos. Have you ever considered being a cop? Yeah, no thank you. What’s your favorite superhero movie? Maybe Logan. I thought it was very emotional and just overall a good movie. Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: MY MOM. Name something that you’re good at but don’t like: uhhhhhhhh Name something that you’re bad at but DO like: Dancing, maybe. Which is worse: Stale chips or flat soda? Stale chips, for sure. It's certainly not my preference, but I can drink flat soda. Who’s the hottest guy and hottest girl out there? M-Mark Fischbach. :') Girl... let's seeeeee... maybe Alissa White-Gluz from Arch Enemy. GodDAMN what a WOMAN. ❤_❤ Do you ever trip over your pets? Yes, because he just looooves to follow me at my feet. What’s your relationship like with your exes? Aaron, Juan, Jason, and Tyler: nonexistent. Sara and Girt: great. What was the last thing you turned down doing? Going to my nephew's t-ball game. I always feel bad when I say no when Mom asks if I wanna go... but at least the kids know I just don't handle the heat well. Are you a party animal? Faaaaar from it, my friend. Who are you the biggest fan of? m-m-m-mMARKIPLIER You’re DJ for the night - first track to get everyone going? Uhhhh maybe "Party Hard" by Andrew W.K.? Have you ever been hit on by a pushy person? I think Juan was kinda pushy, but not to an uncomfortable degree. He respected what I felt. What accent do you find attractive? Most attractive, British. But I also really like Scottish and Irish. Also French accents in women I tend to find very beautiful-sounding. Have you ever had feelings for a friend's partner? Yes. What’s your favorite thing to do that doesn’t cost much? Drive around take pictures, maybe? Let's, uh, ignore the whole gas crisis in this answer. When in danger are you more fight or flight? Flight. Do you feel self conscious about a certain body part? *gestures to entire body* Have you been accused of being manipulative? Yes. Have you ever considered violence to solve your problem? No. Are you romantic? I personally think so. If you are a smoker, how long does a pack typically last you? If you aren’t a smoker, does anybody you are close to smoke, & if so, are you against the fact that they’re a smoker? I don't smoke. To answer the next part, yes, like my dad and stepmom. I wish they would stop so badly, like it's literally going to kill them both. Do you have more subscribers or more people that you are subscribed to? On YouTube? I'm definitely subscribed to waaay more people. Is there anything that has been drilled into your brain since you were young & you finally decided to stop listening to? How did it feel once you decided to listen to yourself over what you were told? Yes: "finish your plate." Teaching your kid to eat beyond their comfort can be very destructive, and I'm glad I never stuck to that once Mom stopped enforcing it. If you are currently in a relationship, what is one thing that seems to be unique or different about your relationship with this person, compared to other relationships in general? If you are currently single, is this more of a choice or is it more just the way things are going, not really something you chose? If you are neither “single” or officially in a relationship, what are your feelings on your current situation? I'm single, and it's just how it is. I know realistically I wouldn't tell what felt like the right person no, but it really is probably better that I stay single and keep figuring my shit out. Think of somebody famous that you have a lot of respect for. What is something that you really admire them for? To name just one thing I admire in Mark, his relentless "I'm going to do this no matter what" attitude is very inspirational to me. He lets like... n-o-t-h-i-n-g get in his way. If somebody were to leave a harsh comment on a survey you took, judging you on one of your opinions, how would you react? I'd get pretty self-conscious, just because I in general take judgment quite poorly. I obsess over "what if they're right, and you're just an idiot?". Are there any other sites you use to find surveys to take? What sites do you use? I mainly use Tumblr and LiveJournal, but in times of great desperation, I'll use Bzoink and just google surveys as well, haha. Have you sent or received any friend requests on Facebook lately? Not sent, but I got one from someone I had no mutual friends with the other day. Safe to say I declined it. Can you recall the last time you turned down an offer, of any kind? Uhhhhh no. Which fruit would you say you eat the most often? Apples. What was your pet’s last vet visit concerning? Roman has been to the vet once to get neutered (and I think shots?). I took Venus many years ago because I thought she had a respiratory infection. Thank god, she didn't. Which animals do you tend to go check out first at pet stores? The reptiles, snakes in particular. Have you ever been a victim of a house fire? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever had to wait before being seated at a restaurant? Like, over an hour. Have you ever had a cavity before? How about a root canal? A tooth pulled? Braces? Cavities and braces, yes. What is your favorite zoo animal that you would like to set free? Probably polar bears. Like especially here, it gets so hot in the summer, and the poor things sometimes only have a bit of snow in the shade. Like... they can't be very happy. Especially when you see those videos of them playing in snow, and then you think about situations like our zoo here... ugh. What kinds of artifacts fascinate you? I really think old figurines built with like clay and stuff are cool. But all artifacts I find to be very intriguing. It's so interesting to see that the desire to create has always been with us as a species. Is there anyone that you’ve visited in jail? No.

[thehomierobbstark]

Let’s Talk About Sex

Chapter 2 Intermission Chapter 3

Pairing: Erik Killmonger x Reader [#TeamErikDon’tDateWhiteChicks]

Prompt: Aight, so iOKnoW bout yall but… I got some mad ‘fears’ about sex 😂😂😂. I got so many questions, so many horrible imaginations, so many embarrassing ass scenarios I’ve thought of in my head about what might happen when I finally do the do. Basically, ya girl been thankin (thinking) too much, and I done fucked around and thought up this shit. HUUUUGEEE shoutout to the BP groupchat for not only always keeping me entertained but for feelin me on this fic lmao. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who feel this way. Also shoutout to Poosy for her word contribution lmao.

A/N:  Ya’ll…. this really the shit that be going thru my mind lmfao like this really what I think about XD. I tried color coding the dialogue because I thought it would be too confusing but then I failed so fuck it XD. Also, it may seem like some of the words are grammatically incorrect or misspelled n the dialogue but it’s because I wanted you to read it like you would a text or message to better understand the delivery.

Warnings: At the bottom 👇🏿👇🏿👇🏿n uhhhhh yeah sit back and enjoy the journey 😂😂😂😂

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!!  x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okayyy… you ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.” You fidget nervously, fingers sweating between the joints, your heart skipping beats while you keep your eyes locked with Erik’s.

“Alright on three. One…two…three!”

At the same time, both of you flip over your papers, holding them out in front of you to show each other.

Your eyes eagerly scan over Erik’s paper, mind quickly gobbling up all the information the printed form had to offer you.

Your brain checked off each result as it read through:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patient: STEVENS, ERIK        Gender: MALE        Age: 26       DOB: 08/16/1992

COMPREHENSIVE STD PANEL RESULTS:

CHLAMYDIA                                    NEGATIVE

GONORRHEA                                  NEGATIVE

HIV TYPE 1                                      NON -REACTIVE

HIV  TYPE 2                                     NON -REACTIVE

HERPES TYPE 1                              NEGATIVE

HERPES TYPE 2                              NEGATIVE

SYPHILIS RPR                                 NEGATIVE

HEPATITIS A VIRUS ANITBODY      NON -REACTIVE

HEPATITIS B VIRUS ANTIBODY      NON -REACTIVE

HEPATITIS C VIRUS ANTIBODY      NON -REACTIVE

Thank you for choosing Planned Parenthood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A huge sigh of relief releases from your chest, sounding like a gush of wind as it escapes through your lips.

“Oh okay, so thats how u feel,” Erik griped, giving you a side eye look.

You ignore him, not even bothering to look for his reaction at your results, knowing they were all negative like you both knew they’d be.

Just as quickly as it left, your anxiety came rearing back as you snatched his test from his hands to take a closer look, eyes wide. “Wait! What does Non - Reactive mean?!”

“So you just gon ignore me then.”

“That means negative right? Where’s my phone!” your hands swing out to the sides to blindly feel around the couch before scooping up your device.

“-_____- really.”

“Okay! Okay, google says a non-reactive result means…” You mumbled over the quick-definition google supplied as you looked for the important bits, scanning between the paper and your phone. “ … and that no anti-bodies were found! So no!”

“Omg.”

You do a little happy dance as you double check to make sure all five tests define non reactive in the same way while Erik rolls his eyes.

“Y/N you fr googled that.”

“Yes nigga! Sexual health is important and I wanna make sure I’m clear and confident in my understanding of the results!”

“Okay, well, you makin a nigga feel bad n shit gettin all worried over his test results. What, you don’t trust me baby?” Erik looks at you, and his face is pouted downcast, almost looking like a adorably sad pitbull.

“Aww baby no!” You deny, immediately throwing your arms around him to comfort him, pecking his forehead with annoying kisses as you smush his face into your chest. He grumbly accepts your kisses, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“But I mean…. you was kinda a thotpocket back in the day tho..” You joke, shrugging, and he playfully pushes you back and sucks his teeth.

“Mann stfu.  You just acting all extra cuz your body count lower.”

“Erik, for the last time, I’ve never had sex before.” You say, crossing your arms to help your statement seem more serious than you felt. Erik was always messing with you, saying he couldn’t believe that you’d never had sex before at 25, and that there was just no way.

“Nah.” He states simply.

Your neck reels back a little bit.

“Wachu mean Nah??” You get ready to defend your undefiled past and the normalcy of 20+ virgins when he leans forward to nibble on your neck, distracting you.

“I mean..” He pulls your waist against him and reaches back to grab two handfuls of ass as he keeps nibbling.

“…nah, ain’t no fuckin way you this damn fine and you ain’t ever had nobody at least worship for hours between these thighs.” He rubs all over you, fingers gliding across the beautiful curves and body rolls that covered your voluptuous frame as he presses hungry kisses with delicious pressure against your throat.

“Nigga, you’re corny as fuck.” you try to insult him, but he gives a fat wet lick right above your collarbone that feels so good, and he squeezes your ass at the breathy moan that slips out of your mouth.

He pauses his ministrations on your body and pulls back from you, chuckling and shaking his head a little before resting his forehead against yours.

“What?” You ask him, thinking he’s poking fun at you. While you may have technically been a virgin, you and Erik had definitely been routinely messing around a lot.

In between your latest heavy petting and make out sessions, Erik had a bet going to see how quickly he could get you to moan without sticking his hands down your pants. He bet 30 seconds, you bet 45. So far you hadn’t been able to make it past 38.

“You’re the horniest, freakiest, yet most innocent virgin I’ve ever met.”

A part of you wanted to ask just how many virgins he’d met, but you decided to nip your jealous possessive side in the bud before it could get the better of you. It wasn’t time for her right now.

He leans back to look you in the face, his eyes pulling at the corners exposing the teasing smile he was trying to hide.

“Umm excuse me?! What do you mean innocent? If I recall correctly, didn’t I just have you creaming your bitch ass pants the other week from just grinding on you?” You throw at him, triumphantly crossing your arms and looking down at him.

“Why they gotta be bitch ass tho.”

When you’re heavy petting session last week had suddenly turned into a full blown dry grinding competition, Erik had been so caught off guard by the intensity he actually came all over himself inside his brand new black velvet joggers he’d just bought (in your defense, the velvet did feel really nice against the thong you had on).

The bewildered look on his face made you laugh so hard, you actually keeled over and fell off the arm of the couch.  He was over it at that point, storming off to the bathroom muttering threats about ‘getting that ass back,”, hence the bet you were currently losing.

“Also, lets not act like you not the same girl who can’t even watch male masturbation videos without making a face.”

“First of all there’s nothing sexy about seeing a dude jack off, so you can stop right there.”

“That’s because you’ve never seen ME jack off.” He jokes crudely. “Bet money I’d have your mouth watering within the first five strokes.”

“Probably watering because I’m bout to throw up,” You giggle childishly, a goofy grin on your face.

“Aight Y/N, you keep talking all that shit and we gon see who really still bout that action once I get them panties off.”

Your giggles come to a screeching halt as you gasp, and he buries his teeth in the side of your neck, his hands starting to wonder down south into the back of your compression shorts.  

You fight hard not to moan again this time while he chews lightly on your neck when you suddenly start to feel self conscious.

You unconsciously start squirming around on top of him, both in pleasure and slight confusion as he massages your cheeks, one in each hand, pulling and scrunching them between his fingers.  Your anxiety starts to slowly creep back up on you, and when he draws a line with his finger down your panties between your cheeks, you involuntarily clench up and yelp just as he reaches your taint. The feeling was stuck somewhere being too good yet too much at the same time. You damn near squeezed his finger to death before it could even reach its destination.

“Okay look,” you pull back, trying to reason with both him and your body. You didn’t mean to get jumpy all of a sudden but it’s like your muscles had a mind of their own.

“Baby wassup?” He immediately stops his movements and pulls his hands from you. “Did I hurt you?!” He immediately switched over from his sexually deviant demeanor to his overprotective one, concern lining his face.

“No, no baby your fine I’m just,” You blow out a breath, a little embarrassed by how twitchy you just got, and you try to shake it off by laughing at yourself.

It’s not like Erik had never groped you there before, but for some reason it felt 10x more serious now that you both basically had the green light since you’d received your test results back.

You knew both of you would almost immediately try to jump each other’s bones once you’d get the chance, but now that it was here it’s like the part of your brain that was previously occupied with worries of false negatives and unclear test results had been replaced with insecurities you didn’t even realize you had until this very moment.

“What? You good?” Erik was still studying your face, trying to see where your head was at.

“Yeah, yeah, no I’m good,” You close your eyes and nod quickly, “I just…umm…”, you’re face grows hot as you try to get out the next words, “.. I just got a little…. nervous…??” You peek an eye open. “I guess???”

You were trying so hard to relax and let go of your anxiety, but you just couldn’t stop feeling so nervous.  Especially not when you started to worry about what he might think about it.

“Can I uh.. maybe take a shower first? Or something?” You said trying to gear the conversation back into a normal flow. If you could just take a shower real quick…

“Yeah, of course, but what’s this about?” He still looked at you, eyeing you cautiously.

“I just don’t feel clean right now,” you say, making up excuses trying to find a way out of his wandering hands.

“Y/N, I just finished rubbing your clit in the car ride over here, what do you mean you’re not clean? Are you worried that I’m worried about that?” he asks you, not believing you’re serious about this.

“I meannn, it’s been like 30 minutes tho.” You lie.

“Y/N, I don’t care about that. I’m tryna see how you taste now and then. I don’t care if you still have cum on you, I’m eating that too.”

“Okay well I have to go to the bathroom, so..” You try to move off of him and onto the floor but he holds you still, not letting you escape.

Erik sighs. “Y/N, whats really goin on? It’s okay, you can tell me.” His eyes shift between yours like he’s trying to find the answer. “If you’re not ready to have sex yet, that’s okay. We don’t have to do this today baby.” He rubs at your legs tenderly, trying to comfort you.

“No, it’s not that, I just…” He raises his eyebrows expectantly, waiting for your next words. “I wanted to shave first. Because I have hair.”

He raises an eyebrow at you. “Shave? I just felt how trimmed you were-”

“Not that part.” You state plainly, hoping he’d catch your drift but have enough decency not to make it too obvious once he did.

“Y/N, I swear to god if you say legs I’m gonna-”

“Oh my God Erik my asshole, okay! I need to shave my asshole!” Your face is burning now from the embarrassment of having to say that out loud to your boyfriend and you feel like melting right into the couch into a puddle of nothingness.

The silence only lasts two seconds, but its one second too long for you and you try and scramble off his lap to go hide in the bathroom in shame. A gigantic bark of laughter breaks through from Erik’s chest, and it scares the life out of you, causing you to accidentally stumble onto the floor.

Erik’s doubled over in laughter now, tears threatening his eyes and you almost think he’s laughing at you when he rolls off the couch after you, laying his heavy body on top of yours and pinning you to the floor to keep you from getting away. He gets his last bits of laughter out with his face buried in your middle, and when he finally calms down he looks up, resting his chin on your torso.

“Y/N,” He states, looking at you.

“Erik.” you answer, avoiding his eyes.

“Y/N.” He leans in closer to you.

You clear your throat, still looking off somewhere else. “What Erik.”

“Do you really honestly think that some ass hair is gonna gross me out. Do you really think that?” He’s still smiling, looking at you with so much amusement and pure love in his eyes.

When he puts it that way, it makes you feel a little ridiculous thinking about how weird you just got over body hair.

“I mean… kinda?” You say honestly, and you finally look back at him.

“I know it seems stupid but I feel like thats not..”

“Normal?” He supplies for you. You nod your head in agreement.

“Baby,” he softly says, “Ass hair is totally normal. You know that.”

You did. “But I still feel like no one ever talks about it, and you never see it in porn. Not even the homemade ones.” Yeah sure it was normal but it still felt like this dirty ugly thing no one was supposed to speak about.

“Babygirl a lot of people have ass hair. Shit, I have ass hair. Most of the girls I’ve been with had ass hair.” He chuckles again a little, comfortable with the topic you were so afraid was gonna be awkward.

Your ears prick up at his last sentence, and you lean up a little bit. Something he said caught your attention and you looked at him intently.

“Really?” You ask, looking him in the eyes.

“Really what?” He looks at you confused.

“Really, most of the girls you’ve been with had ass hair?” You look up at him, so shocked.

“Yeah. And the ones who didn’t were always waxed anyway. I promise you baby, its not a weird thing.” He assures you, trying to make sure you really understood him.

You sat there for a second, looking off into space as your thoughts started working. And then just like that, your mind all but cleared itself as realization finally dawned on you. And you started laughing.

Not a single part of you could really care how many chicks Erik had slept with, you were just so glad that almost all of them had ass hair just like you did. You were honestly so grateful that he told you that last part, otherwise you would have never been sure whether or not you really believed him when he said it didn’t bother him.

In this one, small, truly insignificant instance with Erik, you were for once really glad you weren’t an exception to the rule.

Erik joins in your humble laughter, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. You close your eyes and kiss back, returning it with softer slower kisses as you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him close.

After a minute he breaks away, letting his forehead rest against yours.

“I really love you Y/N. And the fact that you want me to be the one to share this experience with you makes me feel really lucky,”. He rolls you both over onto your side on the floor, giving your body a break from his heavy frame, and to be able to look at you better.

“I’d never jeopardize what we have for something as trivial as body hair.  I mean, sometimes I still can’t even believe that I really get to call you all mine, and I just refuse to believe that nobody else has been able to see what’s been so obvious to me from the beginning.”

Erik shuffles around nervously under your gaze, and this time he’s the one trying to avoid your eyes. You could tell he was in a really vulnerable state, not only from his body language but also with how he was trying to verbally express himself. It was always really difficult for the both of you to say how you felt about each other, not because you didn’t know the words, but because for some reason they always seemed to sound wrong in your ears once they came out your mouth.

You, however, knew exactly what he was trying to say, because he’d said it before. Not with words, but with actions.

Ever since Erik met you a year ago he’d done just about everything he could think of to let you know that he was all about you. Constant flirting, unexpected phone calls, surprise gifts to let you know he was thinking of you. It had thrown you off at first because you’d never been in a relationship before, so you couldn’t figure out if he was playing with you or not.

It took three whole months of nearly daily texting, dinner dates, late night car drives and ugly pre-work facetime calls (he swears you always looked beautiful, but the never ending eye crust you were always finding kept you second guessing) for you to finally take him seriously.

After a long conversation with yourself about taking chances and ‘trusting the universe’, you let yourself fall head first into the completely new experience of a relationship with Erik. You were determined to come out the other side just as soft and open-hearted as you were going into it, refusing to let whatever experience you had turn you cold to the idea of romantic love.

And so far, the experience had been everything you could’ve hoped for, and so much more.

Sure, there were bad days, and you were still too stubborn and he was too bossy and you both definitely needed to learn to listen more. But you were sohappy. And for the first time, you felt something with him you hadn’t been able to feel in a really long time. You felt secure.

So Erik didn’t need to say anything else, because you already knew exactly what he what he was trying to say.

He shifted his eyes again, about to open his mouth to try again and clarify when you cup his face in your hand, running a thumb over his lips to shush him.

“It’s okay Erik. I know.”

And you did.

The truth was, before him, you’d never really let anyone get close enough to try and be with you in a romantic way. You were always brushing off advances you thought were too good to be true and downplaying the other person’s feelings, no matter how hard you felt yours.  For a long time you thought that maybe you weren’t supposed to end up with anyone at all, and that your life journey was supposed to be about learning how to be on your own instead or something.

While you didn’t consider romance to be a super important part of life, you always wondered if maybe there was something that you were missing out on. You almost felt broken sometimes, like maybe there was just something about you that made you unworthy of being loved and cherished the way you saw your friends and family being by their significant others.

It took a lot of hard work and self reflection for you to finally get away from your negative thoughts, and you still struggled from time to time, but you were doing a lot better.

Being with Erik didn’t solve your problems, or cure your self doubt, or make you feel ‘complete’, but it did make you feel really warm and safe inside, and neither of you were willing to give up that feeling.

So he was right. He really did get to call you all his in every sense of the word. You took a chance on love, and you were lucky enough to fall into it with someone who shared just as much passion as you did. You’d be crazy not to give something like that your all.

Both of you lay there on the floor, looking into each others eyes with a level of understanding and comfort you weren’t sure you’d ever be able to truly explain. He holds your hand drawing heart shapes into your palm, the only sound being your favorite Spotify playlist that you didn’t realize was playing off in the background somewhere.

You’d been working on that playlist since before you even met Erik, song choices ranging from early 70′s love songs to present day baby makers. It was your sex playlist.  Even if you weren’t in the mood most of your favorite songs were on there.

“When did it start playing music?” your eyebrows furrow in confusion, peeking around for the source of the speakers.

“When I was trying to seduce your jumpy ass on the couch,” he answers matter-of-factly.

“N’Jadaka Stevens, were you trying to woo me?!” You tease him, poking at his stomach trying to tickle him a little bit.

He suck his teeth, caught. “Ok, maybe I was. So what?’

“Awww…” you say dramatically, making a show of it. You pause for a second “… gay ass.”

He laughs, mushing your face away, grinning like a little boy.

“Whatever. Shut your goofy ass up and come over here and lose this bet again.” He says, fake annoyed, and gets up to sit back on the couch, pulling you with him. You settle into his lap, resting your arms in place around his shoulders.

He starts placing soft kisses on your shoulders, starting off slowly. You already knew how this was gonna go and you throw your head back, whining.

“Ugh, I’m tired of losing this game dammit,” You huff to cover up the moan you already felt creeping up your throat. “Can’t we just skip to the fun part pleasee?”

You amp it up a little by plastering on an obnoxiously toothy smile, and he purposely ignores you to keep from faltering under your heart-melting grin.

“Mmmm…” He fake thinks about it for a moment, moving his lips up to the crook of your neck to tickle you with the vibrations. “No.”

Before you even get the chance to pout he scoops up your face in his hand, squeezing a little to make your lips poke out cutely.

“Nuh-uh. Don’t even start that shit.” He deadpans. “If you want me to fuck you, you need to open up your mouth and say it.  Otherwise sit back and hush and let me warm up my dinner.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warnings: A lil cheesy, a lil corny, a lil cliché, a lil fluffy. Just a lil of errthang XD. Also! Dare I say… romance?!?! (O.o)

Oh yeah this is a new series. Did I forget to mention that?

“Homie, how tf you gonna make a whole new series and you can’t even finish the ones you ha-”

Hush now child.

[kingteeth]

@sa1fisher tagged me...so cool

What was your last 

Drink: water! Last phone call: charlie called me this morning and woke me up Last text: “nick.......” to my friend server, last text was “yay!!” Last song you listened to:  dead bird by mccafferty i think  Last time you cried: uhh not sure but i think it was over seeing a cat Have you ever dated someone: yes! Been cheated on: yeah lmao  Kissed someone and regretted it: yep! Lost someone special: yeah :( my cat :(  Been drunk and thrown up: yeah, once really badly List three fave colors: orange, black, and hmmmm red

In the last year have you…

Made a new friend: I have many new friends :D Fallen out of love: yes! Laughed until you cried: OH god yeah like almost every night it seems like Met someone that changed you: yeah! a few encounters have helped me grow as a person Found out who your true friends are: I think so, yes! Found out someone was talking about you: oh i bet this is often, good or bad lmao Kissed someone who follows you: (im facebookphobic frick u this is tumblr now) yes i have

General:

How many of your followers do you know irl: quite a few actually  Do you have any pets: i dont own any, but im living with two dogs :D  Do you want to change your name: i happen to like my name currently! What did you do for your last birthday: movie time with friends!! and then i had a blast with my dad and charlie  What time did you wake up today: uhhh like 11am What were you doing at midnight last night: hehe voice call babey  Name something you CANNOT wait for: ANIMAL CROSSING AND POKEMON AND BOTW2 AHHHH Last time you saw your mother: uhhhhh a good week or so  What is one thing you wish you could change about life: I wish i had no acne ever wtf What are you listening to right now: ceiling fan squeakin  Have you ever talked to a person with the name Tom: tom nook and I are best pals  What’s getting on your nerves: some people dont know how to stay to themselves. should go outside...breathe air... Most visited website: here, discord, annnd idk google dot com Nickname: i dont think i have a nickname besides Gaydrien 

Relationship status: single  Zodiac sign: taurus Pronouns: he / him Fave tv shows: law and order: SVU IG Hair color: black! Long or short: medium ish Height: 5′8ft Do you have a crush on someone: well i had a crush on two people at the same time for awhile but were gonna uhhhhh ignore that shit jfksdfk What do you like about yourself: im no longer keeping myself silent  Tattoos: like 8. i have one pro one and the rest are stick n poke done by me.  Righty or Lefty: right First surgery: ive only had toe surgery but like it was minor even though i had ut done like four times First piercing: ear lobes, i was baby  First best friend: technically emma from elementary, she was awesome. first genuine best friend i dont talk to anymore  First sport you joined: volleyball  First pair of shoes: idk i was an infant 

Right now

Eating: ooo i need to make food  Drinking: water!!!!! Listening to: nothing Want kids: no thanks  Career: i want to work with animals....

Which is better:

Lips or eyes: eyes (eye emoji) Hugs or kissed: hugs for sure Shorter or taller: uhh idc tbh  Romantic or spontaneous: I think a healthy mix of both  Nice stomach or nice arms: ARMS. fuck....arms. stomach has 25 feet of intestines, so imo its always nice  Sensitive or loud: i cant read suddenly.  Hook up or relationship: im fine with either i think  Troublemaker or hesitant: depends on what troublemaker means ig 

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: nope Drank hard liquor: yes, prefer not to Lost glasses/contacts: yeah :( Sex on a first date: yep lmao Broke someone’s heart: i guess so  Had your own heart broken: multiple times, but wasnt all romantic  Been arrested: nope  Turned someone down: yep lmao  Cried when someone died: my cat :(  Fallen for a friend: yeah,,,,,,,

Do you believe in:

Yourself: im getting better at it  Miracles: no shit just happens sometimes Love at first sight: thats infatuation, which is a thing. but genuine love at first sight is only for cats and nature, thank u  Santa Claus: no Kiss on the first date: yeah if both parties are comfortable  Angels: otherworldly creatures with wings probably exist, but religious angels? nah 

I tag @clownapprentice @vampirigender @commoners-coffee @20biteen 

yall dont have to do this btw!! 

[pixeltownies]

simself tag I was tagged by @fussysim I tag any of my followers that want to do this

take a shot every time I say “my boyfriend”

traits: goofball, foodie, clumsy aspiration: friend of the world 1. What is your full name? tristan egbert 2.What is your nickname? tris/tj 3. Birthday?‪ december 14‬ 4. What is your favorite book series?  I don’t,. really read that often 5. Do you believe in Aliens or Ghosts? Y E S 6. Who is your favorite author? once again I really don’t read 7. What is your favorite radio station? pop + alt 8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? mango, fruit punch, etc etc, I like fruity things 9. What word would you use to describe something great or wonderful? “holy shit!” 10. What is your current favorite song? I have too many favs at all times for this 11. What is your favorite word? curse words lots of curse words 12. What is the last song you listened to? self esteem - the offspring 13. What TV show would you recommend for everyone to watch? ‪jane the virgin, how I met your mother, izombie, Gotham, hmu for more recs ‬ 14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? marvel movies + childhood movies 15. Do you play video games? mostly sims, I have others but I don’t have the accessibility to play them hh 16. What is your biggest fear? being alone 17. What is your best quality in your opinion? I’m good at listening and I’m a big people pleaser 18. What is your worst quality in your opinion? how lazy I am and how quickly I get peeved/angry 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? cats! 20. What is your favorite season? autumn 21. Are you in a relationship? yes :D 22. What is something you miss from your childhood? not much if I’m being honest 23. Who is your best friend? my boyfriend 24. What is your eye color? yellow, red, forest green and royal blue 25. What is your hair color? split pink & black but naturally dirty blonde 26. Who is someone you love? my mom + dad & my boyfriend & my siblings 27. Who is someone you trust? my boyfriend 28. Who is someone you think about Often? m y b o y f r I e n d 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? starting testosterone :) + meeting my boyfriend next year 30. What is your biggest obsession? uHh. cc, sims, Netflix, marvel, my boyfriend 31. what was your favorite tv show as a child? hannah montana, icarly, victorious, sam and cat, there are so many more but I’m absolutely blanking rn 32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to? I don’t really have many friends that are girls .. oops? 33. Are you superstitious? 50/50 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? none that I can really think of 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? kind of both 36. What is your favorite hobby? PHOTOGRAPHYYYYY 37. What is the last book you read? i. don’t. read. 38. What is the last movie you watched? fantastic beasts with my boyfriend and his best friends 39. What musical Instruments do you play, if any? I am trying to learn guitar but I have ADHD/ADD and I have a hard time self-teaching 40. What is your favorite animal? panda, red pandas, fox, raccoon, turtle, cats. 41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? I just started out. pls. 42. What superpower do you wish you had? I just wish I wasn’t this dumb ((I’m keeping ur answer, I’m wheezing)) 43. When and where do you feel most at peace? when I’m on the phone with my boyfriend 44. What makes you smile? my boyfriend, sims, music, photography 45. What sports do you play, if any? none 46. What is your favorite drink? monster mango loco + pacific punch 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? recently I keep a journal of notes to my boyfriend 48: Are you afraid of heights? y e s 49: What is your biggest pet peeve? misophonia, look it up 50. Have you ever been to a concert? yeah 51. Are you vegan/ vegetarian? no, I honestly don’t have the motivation or willpower to do it but when I move in with my boyfriend that’s gonna stop HDHBD 52. When you were little, what did you wanna be when you grew up? cosmetologist/ photographer 53: What fictional world would you like to live in? I can’t think of the name but the place in guardians of the galaxy 54. What is something you worry about? being alone, dying, people not liking me, embarrassing myself. 55. Are you scared of the dark? no, and yes 56. Do you like to sing? yes but I’m not good at it 57. Have you ever skipped school? I dropped out bc of it so yes 58. What is your favorite place on the planet? anywhere my boyfriend is 59. Where would you like to live? U.K. 60. Do you have any pets? 5 cats 61: Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? night owl 62: Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? sunset 63. Do you know how to drive? yes but I don’t have driving license oops 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? earbuds 65. Have you ever had braces? no, but I need them 66: What is your favorite genre of music? pop punk + indie + pop + basically anything but country, folk, classic dhsjsj shit like that ion like 67: Who is your hero? I don’t think I necessarily have one? 68: Do you read comic books? yes 69: What makes you most angry? misophonia, being blamed for things I didn’t do, not being listened to, being undermined, etc things of the sort 70. Do you prefer reading a book on an electronic device or on a real book? both tbh 71. What is your favorite subject in school? art 72. Do you have any siblings? 10 73. What was the last thing you bought? I can’t remember   74. How tall are you? 5 foot 4 75. Can you cook? not exactly 76. What are three things that you love? boyfriend, music, my cats 77. What are three things you hate? anxiety, fear, abandonment 78. Do you have more male or female friends? male 79. What is your sexual orientation? homosexual but panromantic 80. Where do you currently live? united states /: 81. Who was the last person you texted? my boyfriend 82. When was the last time you cried? idk!!! 83. Who is your favorite youtuber? jacksepticeye 84. Do you like to take selfies? yes I am very insecure but also very vain ((god we are the same person)) 85. What is your favorite app? twitter 86. What is your relationship to your parent(s)?  kind of don’t like necessarily like them but I don’t hate them 87. What is your favorite foreign accent? British accents but this is biased bc of my boyfriend 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? japan 89. What is your favorite number? 14 90. Can you juggle? nope 91. Are you religious? I don’t.. know… 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? outer space, ocean scares tf out of me ((keeping this too)) 93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? impulsive but not daredevil 94. Are you allergic to anything? freshly cut grass tbh 95. Can you curl your tongue? no 96. Can you wiggle your ears? no 97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? normally when it happens if I catch on, if I didn’t realize I was wrong I admit when it’s pointed out 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forest 99. What is your favorite piece of advice anyone has given you? uh I haven’t really gotten any 100. Are you a good liar? unfortunately yes 101. What is your Hogwarts house? hufflepuff 102. Do you talk to yourself? when I’m pissed 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? yes but they’re more like love notes to my boyfriend 105. Do you believe in second chances? yes and I give more than that bc I’m weak and too nice for existence 106: If you found a wallet full of money, what would you do? …. id be lying if I said I’d turn it in right away, I would have to contemplate that 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? yes but only with help 108. Are you ticklish? yes 109. Have you ever been on a plane? nope, will be next year 110. Do you have any piercings? eyebrow, labret, septum, tongue, my ears are stretched, and I have more piercings planned 111. What fictional character do you wish were real? … uhhHhh I’m blanking 112. Do you have any tattoos? I have an XØ and a fiatp symbol on my left wrist 113. What is the best decision you’ve made in your life? following my boyfriend back when he followed me, to begin with 114. Do you believe in karma? yes for sure 115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? glasses 116. Do you want children? 2-3, I’m adopting though 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my boyfriend 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? I have many 119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? all the time 120. What color are most of your clothes? black or my fav colors 121. Do you like adventure? YES 122. Have you ever been on TV? nope 123. How old are you? 19!! 124. What is your favorite quote? If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies. 125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory (and spicy!!!!!!)

[gatedcommunityfish]

30 questions tag

Rules: Tag the person who tagged you, answer the questions and tag 20 people! @subarulesbian i am finally doing this wow also thank u for the excuse to air my shit ily

1. How tall are you? 5′6″...the same height as hugh jackman so

2. What color and style is your hair? like snape but light brown and not as greasy

3. What color are your eyes? brown baybeee

4. Do you wear glasses? yeee bitch theyre very cute

5. Do you wear braces? nope!

6. What is your fashion style? goth lite to full goth but everything's blue not black, always got my rings and my little bell necklace for wardin off bad spirits bc i value my life

7. Full name? thomas? maybe? idk thom is fine maybe i need a new name

8. When were you born? april 28th 1998 babes thats taurus sun gemini moon gemini rising

9. Where are you from and where do you live now? im from santa cruz california n i live in oakland now for school, also lol the other day i saw someone avoid so much info so that people didnt know where they lived on the internet and wow forgot people cared about that

10. What school do you go to? mills college which i love and also fucking hate but thats institutions folks

11. What kind of student are you? i work my ass off and pretend i dont but tbh i just dont like talking about grades like i loovveee to talk about philosophy or art but like lets be real school doesnt mean shit. tbh i just love learning so when school doesnt grate my brain bc mental illness i honestly love it an embarrasing amount

12. Do you like school? lol i kinda answered this but like yeah theoretically and ussually practically big nerd alert but also im lucky to have a parent that doesnt care that i study useless shit that makes me happy

13. What are your favourite school subjects? book arts bitch!! lets be honest....paper is sexy

14. Favorite TV shows? mmmm idk really i havent been watching ANYTHING and all the stuff i used to love im like eh, i guess the good place i like, oh and i love anne of green gables bc its cute and pretty and i have @molly-b-denum to talk about it with, oh, ya know what, i LOVED downten (??) abbey

16. Favorite books? the seed to harvest series by octavia butler, honestly all octavia butler, and annihilation by jeff vandermeer, and all about love by bell hooks

17. Favourite past-time? painting, makin books, n singing at the top of my lungs but like where do i find the space to do that someone please sing w me

18. Do you have any regrets? uhhhhh yeah but i dont blame myself for making the decisions i did at the time

19. Dream job? hermit that people make pilgrimage to for advice and discussion

20. Would you like to get married? mmmmm yeah i love to plan and decorate and to look cute so, i want a huge train and the fanciest outfit uve ever seen!! but also idk about it as an institution so who knows

21. Would you like to have kids someday? yep! i absolutely love kids and i think i would be a good parent

22. How many? four, both my mom and i have three siblings and its like the perfect amount of love and fuckery

23. Do you like shopping? hellllll yeah!!! i love fashion and getting dressed up for my everyday and finding something that makes me feel like a wizard, looking this cute takes work 

24. What countries have you visited? well im from the us, ive been to mexico and guatemala, n the uk n ireland

25. What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had? i used to have reoccuring nightmares about my family being bodysnached, 

26. Do you have any enemies? theres people i fucking hate but we dont interact and i dont think about them so i dont think that counts

27. Do you have a s/o? yeeeeeeee shes cute always wanted a goth gf ya know

28. Do you believe in miracles? mmmm idk i feel like miracles implies a god and im more of a magic bitch myself

lol theres only 28 questions but tbh thats fine 

i tag: anyone who wants to do this like really tag me i love to snoop

[thespectacularspecter]

85 statements about me

i was tagged by @qiuu-tong ty i love shit like this

last 1. drink - blueberry tea beer 2. phone call - i called my uni because i'm panicking about paperwork 3. text message - to my friend to answer a question about schoolwork we have 4. song you listened to - all i have to give by the backstreet boys IT'S ICONIC AND CLASSIC DON'T @ ME 5. time you cried - lowkey i watched the greatest showman recently and when they all performed as a circus for the first time i kinda maybe started crying ever 6. dated someone twice - nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it - nah regrets aren't my thing 8. been cheated on - probably not 9. lost someone special - yes, unfortunately. RIP gma nancy and jack you guys were amazing parts of my life and still amazing parts of my heart!!! 10. been depressed - lordy yes, been in some dark places 11. gotten drunk and thrown up - lmao yeah i drank an amount i knew i could handle BUT forgot i was totally sick not two days ago so my body was outta wack. it was nasty but my mom found me and was a complete pal about it fave colours 12. PINK 13. BLUE 14. UHHHHH GOLD OR LIKE SPRING SOFT GREEN in the last year have you… 15. made new friends - yes!! 16. fallen out of love - no!! 17. laughed until you cried - yes!! 18. found out someone was talking about you - my memory blows but i think so, yeah 19. met someone who changed you - not in any highkey way, maybe in some little ways but that's just life man 20. found out who your true friends are - i know who my people are 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - nope general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - i don't really use my fb and i don't feel like looking forgive me. the amount that there is -2 or 3, probably 23. do you have any pets - YES i have my baby boy SIGMA, A SNAKE; i have my PUPPY, GUILDENSTERN; i have a collection of FINE, LARGE CHICKENS; and i have a cat with a serious bitchface, RAMSES 24. do you want to change your name - mmMMMMMMmm nah, like, i'd like other names better probably but my name is really tied to who i am for better or for worse. i'd totally change out my last name if i got married though 25. what did you do for your last birthday - i went to the zoo with my friend from northern ireland who visited me!!! at least i think that was last year lmao 26. what time did you wake up today - 9am I think?? i slept in 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - schoolwork. i'm working a lot these days... 28. what is something you can’t wait for - I'M GONNA GET TO DO AN ESCAPE ROOM WHEN I GO TO GENCON THIS YEAR I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO ONE 30. what are you listening to right now - siuil a run by celtic woman : D   31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - YES the father of my best friend growing up was named tom. he recently (ish, over a year ago?) passed away from his parkinson's so rest in paradise to him, too uu 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - someone i know no shade. if you're reading this don't worry it's not you lmao 33. most visited website - probably reddit or tumblr 34. hair colour - brown 35. long or short hair - short!! i've been loving having shoulder length hair 36. do you have a crush on someone - i carry no real thirst at the moment 37. what do you like about yourself - i'm really patient when handling people i think that's a good thing. stuff that'd get a rise outta a lot of other people i can deal with pretty well, i think 38. want any piercings? - i WISH i used to have some actually but i'm dangerously allergic to a common metal and i learned the very hard way that slipping up on that when you have piercings leads to bad experiences in a hospital!! 39. blood type - i actually don't know 40. nicknames - rae is actually a nickname teehee. people pretty much just call me that except my dad calls me lil bro i guess. 41. relationship status - wonshades 42. zodiac - gemini 43. pronouns - she/her 44. fave tv shows - fIREFLY and pushing daisies and a lot of others 45. tattoos - none right now but i'm planning to get one since my mom is a tattoo artist and somehow i still haven't had her give me one 46. right or left handed - SOUTHPAWS REPRESENT 47. ever had surgery - nope! 48. piercings - see #38 heehee 49. sport - i did gymnastics for a few years, i do martial arts now 50. vacation - i'm not a vacation person but i'd love to go to japan. last time i left ohio, i went to chicago for the monsta x concert. last time i went out of country was canada for a study abroad program in the same year 51. trainers - my running shoes are expensive but less expensive because i got them in an ugly wanted color that i think is perfect (H O T P I N K). i'm a runner so the shoes are imPORTANT, MAN more general 52. eating - i had pizza tonight i really want cheap chinese food right now 53. drinking - still drinking my blueberry tea beer want another but it's 11:40pm so that's not happening 54. i’m about to watch - series of unfortunate events s2 once i find the fuckin netflix password i wrote down 55. waiting for - the BBMAs i need to support my boys live (also it's a blast to watch them with my sister-in-law who i'm tagging <3) 56. want - attention and clothing 57. get married - yes yes yes i'd love to get married someday 58. career - i'm an english teacher which is exactly where i wanna be which is better 59. hugs or kisses - attention 60. lips or eyes - eyes but both are great 61. shorter or taller - somehow i always end up dating shorter people. i like my men sturdy. but i have no real preference on height 62. older or younger - close to my age in either direction 63. nice arms or stomach - sweats 64. hookup or relationship - relationships i'm not much of a hookup person 65. troublemaker or hesitant - trouble teehee have you ever 66. kissed a stranger - nope 67. drank hard liquor - yes 68. lost glasses - yes and i'm too blind to find them once i do 69. turned someone down - yep 70. sex on first date - nope 71. broken someone’s heart - yes 72. had your heart broken - oh god yes lol 73. been arrested - nope 74. cried when someone died - i don't actually remember for one instance but i know i didn't in the other. i was crushed though don't get me wrong the tears just done didn’t happen 75. fallen for a friend - oh god yes lol do you believe in 76. yourself - i try to! 77. miracles - yeah 78. love at first sight - it's never happened to me but i won't say i don't believe in it, it might be real for other people and i can't invalidate that 79. santa claus - THE SPIRIT OF SANTA CLAUS 80. kiss on a first date - if it seems like a thing to do why not 81. angels - yes, in a sense other 82. best friend’s name - L I S S A MY GIRL 83. eye colour - very brown 84. fave movie - the lotr trilogy 85. fave actor - probably tim roth i love tim roth like a lo t and i don't really know why but shoutout to tatiana maslany for being the actual goddess of acting

-

i’m tagging @freohrdatia, @pyrrhesia, @roymblog, and @pastelroseprincess and anyone else who sees this who wants to!! 

[an-exotic-writer]

1/? same anon on the shame Dawson ask) but uhhhhh goodboi!hoseok whomst always go to school, teachers pet, has the best grades amongst his peers (Also maybe has a crush badgirl!reader but whomst knows). You sit next to him in class, (occasionally glances towards u when ur asleep, he grumbles about how ur gonna “fail ur classes” but he lowkey👀admires ur sleeping fACE). SO, he’s all shy when you’re in the room, he’d be laughing at a joke jungkook would say & when u walk in he’s suddenly quiet

2/? He’s getting all fidgety b/c you’re there, in the room. (He also knows you fight, maybe in a gang??? He doesn’t to now but he doesn’t like that :( he doesn’t want u to get huRT). Sometimes he’ll see bruise marks on ur thigh (he’s nOt a pervert), a cut lip (maybe busted?) and a cut on ur cheek. IM RANTING AND EMO, THERE ISNT ENOIGH FOR ME TO EXPLAIN HOW I FEEL ABOUT GOODBOI!hoseok & BADGIRL!reader, PLZ H E L P

well shit dude. you just had send this to me and you just had to make this sickeningly adorable and *cues taylor swift look what you made me do - AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE THE SONG*

hoseok didn’t know what emotions were or how they functioned with the human body. to be honest, hoseok only knew the generic ones like being happy when you get to eat your favorite food or do what you like. being sad when you’re not able to get what you want and feeling like shit because you can’t just run out of pizza what the fuck. being angry and disappointed when one of your friends back out on a plan that you were really looking forward to see. yes, he’s eyeing kim taehyung and jeon jungkook super hard if he could.

then one day, a certain someone (you) came into his life (you), took a seat beside him (you) and taught him what it was like to have your heart beat really fast without giving him a reason to (you). it could be the simplest thing of offering him a smile when he lent you a pencil or a major thing to beating the shit out of the person that tore his notes in half and you made sure that person was so sorry that he had to get on his knees to beg for forgiveness not from you but from him. during the whole time he can’t even focus on anyone else but you and that’s what keeps him up at night: thinking about you.

hoseok wasn’t much of a fidgeter but with you around, honey, someone replaced those fidget toys and get yourself a jung hoseok. he can’t help himself, either. it’s a natural instinct for his body to react this way whenever you’re in the same room as him, let alone be beside him every monday, wednesday and friday. he swears on everything he owns, he’s a hundred percent sure you’re going to fail your classes but instead of waking you up when you fall asleep he... stares. how pretty you look with your eyes fluttered shut, baby hair falling over them as the breaths of air you take in, exhales out the syllables hoseok wants to breathe in and tell you how he feels.

but it’s not easy.

it’s almost impossible. he could chat up a room with his group of friends, crack multiple jokes and set the mood but the second you join in, he shuts up in fear he’ll say anything stupid. he’s envious of how anyone you talk to suddenly looks like they’re in love with you and he’s one of them. how your aura just dominates the atmosphere and all light is on you especially when you smile and when - “hobi! you in there?!”

he groans and sits up from his bed, looking at the door before he answers.

“go away, jungkook! you said you were going to come two hours ago! i don’t want to watch that stupid movie anymore!”

“open up! i have someone here with me that needs your help! i’ve got somewhere to be!”

hoseok feels his gut dropping to his gut when he hears - “it’s okay, hobi! we’ll just go to jin’s!”

the door opens in a blink of an eye and jungkook smirks when hoseok’s all flustered and unable to speak. on cue, hoseok holds you up and jungkook doesn’t even wait as he makes a run for it. hoseok does shout for him, mumbles a few profanities after but ultimately grows quiet when you’re there with him. you whistle and wave a hand in front of his face, capturing him back to earth as his wide eyes look at you.

“y-yeah?”

“if you don’t mind, could you possibly...” your voice trails to your neck and you have never seen hoseok lose the color on his face so fast before.

“y/n! you’re bleeding!”

“means your eyes work fine, hobi. that’s great-”you can’t even finish teasing him when he hauls you over to the bathroom and he’s a mess. but a cute one. with just his plain shirt and slacks on, with his round glasses staying on his nose, he nudges you to sit on the counter as he fumbles around for the first aid kit. chuckling, you get comfortable and lean back on the mirror, dangling feet for casualty.

he stands firmly in front of you and he pops the box open, then his hands freeze. like his mind went blank.

“i... y/n i...”

“you look like you’re going to pass out. and i’m the one bleeding here,” you snort, leaning closer to him and hoseok swallows thickly when he comes face to face with you.

“you alright?”

hoseok robotically nods and looks away, hands hovering over the things he knows inside out and in order of what he should do but it’s like his mind sucks at being his mind. everything is black, replaced with the image of you even though you’re right fucking there and his heart is taking off to the heaven’s.

“maybe you might want to start with the antiseptic? to cleanse the wound?”

hoseok feels his soul returning to him when you smile.

“r-right,” 

it’s a slow process, but it’s one that starts to pick up in pace when (ironically enough) you’re the one directing him on what to do. he’s gentle, for the most part, fingers daintily moving against your skin and him apologizing every now and then when you hiss in pain. when he has everything sealed up and bandaged for you, this is where hoseok gathers the courage to ask when curiosity gets the best of him.

“y-y/n,”

“hoseok,”

“no, i have a question,” he looks up, after shutting the first aid kit.

you nod with a grin, arms crossed over your chest. “hit me,”

you confused the poor boy.

“s-sorry?”

“i mean, sure. you can ask me anything,”

“well... how did you know all that?”

“all of what?”

“just now when... when i was treating your wound,” hoseok exhales deeply and breathes when you won’t take your eyes off of him. he’s turning red at an alarming rate but for some reason, you still find this adorable. you should probably not look at him but hey, he’s pretty good looking.

“yeah?”

he coughs and tears his eyes away from you before he builds enough courage to look at you again.

“you kept reading out formulas,”

“sorry, it’s a habit whenever i get treated. i sound smarter that way,”

“...but those are the hardest ones,”

“hey, just because i sleep doesn’t mean i can’t hear,”

now you’ve made him lose his shit.

“n-no! i didn’t mean that you were-i was just-oh my god y/n i’m sorry i was-”

“hey, calm down,” you put your hand on his shoulders to root him down but you’re not sure if he’s keeping quiet because it calms him down or if you’ve just made him braindead.

“i was kidding. but i meant it when i said i sounded smarter that way,” you laugh, carefully pushing his glasses back to its original spot before you pat his shoulder and hop off the counter. as you make your way out of the bathroom,  he chokes on his saliva when - “so what movie are we going to watch?”

there is no way hoseok was going to survive the night.

[bob-sheldon]

Stevepop: “You’re overreacting. It doesn’t look that bad.” Either Steve has a paper cut and is being a melodramatic bitch, or he got stabbed in the side like Rusty-James and he's trying to convince Soda to stop freaking out about it.

Plot: Somewhat low pain-tolerances and Betadine do not mix well. OR, Steve is cut very badly and Soda and Dally are slightly at odds. 

Content warnings: Holy shit uhhhhh, lots of blood, lots of pain, some gore, hella child abuse. Proceed with caution.

A/N: This isn’t my BEST writing but this has been sitting in my ask box for a while and I was in the mood to write some whump. Apologies for any spelling errors and/or choppy writing. I wrote this all in two hours and I’m afraid I’ll be too embarrassed to post it if I read over it again lmFAO. Also it ties in with my other oneshot slightly. Idk? 

“I think we should take him to the hospital. That could go septic.” Ponyboy said uselessly, lurking in the doorway. For once my own brother was bugging me.

“You’re overreacting, it doesn’t look that bad.” Steve mumbled, barely able to keep his head up. Dally had his right side and Darry had his left and they were both struggling to ease him down on the bed. Steve isn’t real lithe or anything. He’s kinda a big guy, a little bigger than Darry and only a little skinnier than Two-Bit.

Dal dropped him and he hit the mattress with a dull thud and a heartbreaking gasp.

“Y'know-” Pony started.

“Please. Go play in traffic.” Steve growled lowly, proving he was still very awake and mean as ever. I didn’t bother to tell him to play nice this time. I figured he could get away with saying that just this once.

Ponyboy seemed to finally get the message, turning and walking back down the halls where Johnny was already trying to wipe blood off the door.

I crawled onto the bed and held Steve’s head in my lap, running my fingers through his hair like he liked. He was shaking, probably from the pain.

We’d all come home from dinner and found him on the porch, drenched in blood and clutching his side, disgusting red smears covering the old couch we had out there. Somebody had sliced him to ribbons.

“Was it your dad?” Darry said in his authoritative serious tone, breaking the silence and voicing the thing we were all dying to ask.

“Nuh,” Steve’s dad was an ass but I doubted he’d take a knife to his own son. “it’s my own damn fault.”

“You sliced yourself up?” Dally’s thick brows furrowed.

“Tried to jack a car but the guy who was driving it sliced me.” He didn’t sound like he wanted to admit it. There was nothing heroic or sympathy-inducing about a car jacking gone wrong. Then again, what car was worth damn near killing a kid for?

Darry gently pulled up his shirt to inspect the damage. A cut down almost the entirety of his side. It didn’t look too deep but it was long and it had bleed a lot. Now it was just dripping a little.

He left the room and I could hear him rummage around in the bathroom next door.

“You had me scared half to death.” I said softly, running my thumb over his temple. He shut his eyes and leaned into it, looking as tired and pale as I’d ever seen him. “Thought you’d been shot or somethin’.”

Darry came back holding an economy sized bottle of Betadine and a package of bandages. Dally leaned in slightly, morbidly curious about what was to happen next, as he was about all things.

“Y'all are probably going to have to hold him down.” Darry mumbled, already uncapping the Betadine.

I grabbed Steve’s hands, holding them tightly and staring in his eyes to try to distract him from what was about to experience.

He screamed when he disinfectant hit his cut, Darry was trying to work fast but I could see he was disgusted. Even Dally cringed in sympathy.

“Oh, I’m gonna be sick.” Steve moaned, lifting his head off the bed weakly. Darry paused and I scrambled for the waste basket, offering it to him.

He wasn’t actually sick, he simply flopped back down on the bed in a dead faint.

“Oh no.” I whispered.

“Fuck, is he dead?” Dally backed away, genuinely looking horrified.

I leaned in close to his face. He was breathing evenly and soundly. He’d fainted before when he got half a car dropped on him.

“He’s okay.”

Darry went right back to scrubbing, I figured he hoped he could finish it before Steve woke up.

His eyes fluttered open after less than a minute.

“You passed out,” I murmured, stroking his hair again. “I think you should go to the hospital.”

“No, ’m fine now.”

Darry was putting the dressing on and Dally had mysteriously disappeared in the couple seconds I looked away from him. I knew things could get too much for him. Johnny had been too much. He was tuff but he wasn’t inhuman.

I chewed my lip nervously. Steve is the kind of person who only listens when he wants to and I knew he despised hospitals.

“If it hasn’t stopped oozing by tomorrow morning, we’re going straight to the emergency room.”

Darry picked up the used cotton balls and bandage wrappers in silence. I wondered what he was thinking, if it was worrying about Steve or how stained the mattress was going to be. We had enough foresight to bring him to the guest bedroom but Betadine was impossible to get out of cotton.

After Darry left I helped Steve get his shirt off and situated him under the covers. He was tired and he was hurting real bad. I could tell. I turned off the light and crawled in against his uninjured side and settled next to him, still slightly in shock. He kissed my cheek apologetically.

“Steve,” His pomade and cheap cologne ether drifted over me. He always smelled nice. Even when he was bloody or sweaty. Somehow, he managed it. “you really scared me.”

I felt myself tear up. I was as glad as could be that the lights weren’t on.

“Baby, I’m sorry.” I felt him kiss my cheek again and I held back tears with all my might. I didn’t like to get emotional during stuff like this, Steve should be the one crying, not me. I couldn’t break down. It wasn’t my time.

“’M gonna act like I got some sense from now on.” He’d said that before.

I shut my eyes, willing to believe it. I was tired and I knew he was too.

“But not too much sense, then we wouldn’t be compatible.” I joked, feeling him wrap an arm around me. It was a little bit easier to not cry now.

I heard him let out a little snort-laugh and after a few more minutes we were both asleep.

What I could only assume was a couple hours later the door cracked open. I squinted in the harsh light from the hall. It had to be 10 or 11.

“You gonna sleep here tonight?” It was Dally. He was probably going to volunteer to sleep next to Steve. They were close after all.

“Yeah, just in case he needs me.” I felt Steve stir against me and I could see some color had returned to his cheeks. Dally nodded and shut the door. I could hear Ponyboy talking in a low voice in our room. Probably to Johnny. He could be on nightmare duty for today.

“Isshe gone?” Steve slurred.

“Yeah.”

“Thought he was my dad come to finish me off.”

I jolted up, unsure if I had heard him correctly.

“Your dad did this?”

But he didn’t respond, simply pretended to fall back to sleep, leaving me alone in the dark with my thoughts.

[packitandgo]

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 some people. I was tagged by @jamthedingus (ILY DI)

LAST:

1. Drink: Pepsi

2. Phone call: mm... I wanna say my pharmacy?

3. Text message: heck if I know!! my phone doesn't have service right now lol

4. Song you listen to: the suffering game ost! specifically storm top dog

5. Time you cried: last week when I listened to ep 66 of taz (I'm still crying about lucretia tbh)

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Nope

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: not really!

8. Been cheated on: nah

9. Lost someone special: not really

10. Been depressed: HA

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: lmao yes, like... last week it was Embarrassing

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. anything in the aqua teal range

13. Mulberry

14. orange shades

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: heck yeah

16. Fallen out of love:... kind? of?? it's confusing lol

17. Laughed until you cried: like last night!

18. Found out someone was talking about you: well I found out my gfbf rambled about me to her chat group A LOT MORE than i thought (#^^#)ゞ

20. Found out who your friends are: uhhh sure?

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: AM I EVEN FB FRIENDS WITH AMBER. i dont even know

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: technically all of them?? but i actually Remember very few of them

23. Do you have any pets: a very fluffy skittish kitty named Dinah!!

24. Do you want to change your name: nah im good!

25. What did you do for your last birthday: had like 5 friends over for wine n pizza!

26. What time do you wake up: 10 or 11

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: chilling on tumblr while listening to mbmbam

28. Name something you can’t wait for: my day off tomorrow!

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: end of august when she left the country haha

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: KNOWING I WAS INTO GIRLS EARLIER instead of dealing w jealousy n internalised shit

31. What are you listening to right now: how to be a heartbreaker

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: there's a chef named tom where i work!

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: when we get TOO MANY EXTRA people at work n have to add a shit ton of new place settings and run out of food

34. Most visited website: tumblr, ao3, ... tbh thats like IT lmao

35. Mole/s: 2 on my face by my mouth, 2 or 3 on my neck, and then LOTS elsewhere too

36. Mark/s: mmm not rly? a few random scars on my legs i guess

37. Childhood dream: lmao i think it was to be a teacher bc school?? was all i knew???

38. Hair color: dark dirty blonde

39. Long or short hair: shoulder length! but i need to cut it soon

40. Do you have a crush on someone: mmm ye n im dating her (IM V LUCKY)

41. What do you like about yourself: uhhhhh idk? eyes i guess?

42. Piercings: just my earlobes

43. Blood type: O

44. Nicknames: jenna, skya

45. Relationship status: happy <3

46. Zodiac: aries! with a sag moon

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: GUH idk? probably galavant or leverage or b99... or pnf or FMAB or or or

50. Right or left hand: left!

51. Surgery: dont think ive had any!!

52. Hair dyed in different color: SOMEDAY when i dont work in customer service i maybe want like./.. blue or purple

53. Sport: haikyuu!! (u meant sports anime, right?)

55. Vacation: greece!!! chilling on a beach n seeing historical sites. OR california/west coast in general to visit friends n road trip OR toronto...

56. Pair of trainers: uhhh i have. some? yes. they're p cool actually they're black n aqua n have POCKETS

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: like... right now? nothing.. i just had matcha gelato tho!

58. Drinking: WATER

59. I’m about to: nap while i wait for my video game to re-download

62. Want: a bigger bed n more snuggles

63. Get married: hides face

64. Career: professional Napper. idk bruh i dont rly want a career i just want enough money to buy all the shit i want n feel secure in life, yanno?

65. Hugs or kisses: OH MAN THATS SO HARD??? but. i think hugs? esp if we're including cuddles.

66. Lips or eyes: both?

67. Shorter or taller: DEPENDS but im gonna go with shorter

68. Older or younger:  older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: arms!! in that i want strong arms of my own n also they make me flush (soft stomachs ARE nice stomachs)

71. Sensitive or loud: ???

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: t-troublemaker? iguess??

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: nope i only kiss friends +

75. Drank hard liquor:  ya

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: CONSTANTLY

77. Turned someone down: LMAO no, ive never had to

78. Sex on the first date: not for meee

79. Broken someone’s heart: i REALLY doubt it haha

80. Had your heart broken: not really

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: once or twice

83. Fallen for a friend: OFTEN

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: ... im working on it

85. Miracles: why not

86. Love at first sight: like yes, love no

87. Santa Claus: i love tim allen

88. Kiss on the first date: sure!

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: kelcee

91. Eye color: blue~

92. Favorite movie: MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

SO MANY QUESTIONS it was fun tho~

i’m tagging... @boudiscanon @abstract-sunshine @acesiren @rlyqueer @zheenterprize and anyone else who wants to do it~~

[stellartadashi]

tagged by @inuoka-sou !! thanks for tagging me ilyyyy (imma put in under a cut cos im fancy)

1. do you have a good relationship with your parents?

i suppose

2. who did you last say “i love you” to?

my parents kjksalndi

3. do you regret anything?

recently befriending jerks >:P

4. are you insecure?

ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5. what is your relationship status?

im lov jj

6. how do you want to die?

idk doin somethin cool, like eating mini muffins while skydiving

7. what did you last eat?

grapes :)

8. played any sports?

ya but now im just kinda doing running and volleyball

9. do you bite your nails?

only when im rly anxious

10. when was your last physical fight?

uhhh i pushed this girl off a raft jkdsjfhjsfkn (it was in all fun and games i didn’t just like,, push her lmao)

11. do you like someone?

;)

12. have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

no im  w e a k

13. do you hate anyone at the moment?

i suppose

14. do you miss someone?

uhhh ya

15. have any pets?

no ;-; (i want a cat)

16. how exactly are you feeling at the moment?

empty...??? idk im rly scared abt school

17. ever made out in the bathroom?

nah

18. are you scared of spiders?

depends on the situation

19. would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

probably not cos that shit confuses the hell outta me

20. where was the last place you snogged someone?

my imagination🌈

21. what are your plans for this weekend?

uhhhhh i think im going to universal w friends

22. do you want to have kids? how many?

its too early to be thinking about this

23. do you have piercings? how many?

one in each ear (i want them to close but my mom won’t let me hnnasdhals)

24. what is/are/were your best subject(s)?

english and literature hands down

25. do you miss anyone from the past?

not really??

26. what are you craving right now?

brownies.........

27. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

idk

28. have you ever been cheated on?

no

29. have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

no

30. what’s irritating you right now?

my summer reading

31. does somebody love you?

hopefully, somehow my brain will always convince me that people don’t mean it

32. what is your favorite color?

pastel pink!!!!!

33. do you have trust issues?

ya

34. who/what was your last dream about?

uhhhhh idk i think there was a restaurant in it??? 

35. who was the last person you cried in front of?

idk, probably my mom

36. do you give out second chances too easily?

yeah.............

37. is it easier to forgive or forget

i’d like to say forget but jaskljiasnldkfn

38. is this the best year of your life?

a lot of good things have happened this year so i suppose so!!!

39. how old were you when you had your first kiss?

n e v e r

40. have you ever walked outside completely naked?

no

41. favorite food?

i like spam and lumpia

42. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

i guess??

43. what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

brainstorming

44. is cheating ever okay?

no, i honestly don’t understand why people would do it

45. are you mean?

i can be

46. how many people have you fist fought?

047. do you believe in true love?

yeah!! but of course there will still be arguments and flaws

48. favorite weather?

cloudy

49. do you like the snow?

it’s p cool (ayyy)

50. do you want to get married?

i havent really thought about it much aaaaa

51. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

meh (babe and bby are different jaskfjdskufsnakjdsfnskj)

52. what makes you happy?

friends! shows! games! music! some other things i cant think of right now!

53. would you change your name?

ya!!!!!!!!

54. would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

yeah cos they don’t exist

55. your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

turn them down and if they’re chill then cool still friends but if not then lmao bye

56. do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you can act your complete self around?

no

57. who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

jerk at camp >:(

58. who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

uhhhh jj i think?

59. do you believe in soulmates?

kind of?? not really tho

60. is there anyone you would die for?

ya

tagging: @oohworm @ivegotthislove @super-fabulous-killjoy and @prettymuchadad jkajsdnk only if y’all want!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #326

“life by life  /  waste to waste  /  i'm the harbinger: the master of decay”

When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Do you mean like, for the wedding? Probably the venue. Or possibly the photographer. Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. What’s something you complain about frequently? My legs. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. Are you close to any of your aunts/uncles? Not very. Do you hate it when people smoke around you? Very much so. Do you own anything that is special edition? Yeah, things like DVDs. Do you have any funky bookmarks? I have this one meerkat bookmark where the image moves when you tilt it. Did you ever watch Pokemon? Hell yeah I did. Are there more females or males in your family? Females. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? My mom does due to having gerd. Dad did too when I actually lived with him. I wouldn't know nowadays. Do you own a camera tripod? Yes. Did you ever believe in mermaids? No. Have you ever purchased alcohol? Yes. Any essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Similar interests, like being a metal fan and gamer especially, as well as a serious animal lover for sure. Any romantic gestures you really like? Okay if someone did that little bow thing while reaching out for my hand to dance, I'd melt, lol. I also appreciate love interests holding open doors, SHOWING INTEREST IN HOW I FCKN FEEL, asking permission before doing anything in sexual exploration, stuff like that. Any sexual fantasies? Are you daring enough to share one? Yep, not sharing those lmfao. Have you ever been in love? Twice. What is your favorite/least favorite word? My favorite is "serendipity/serendipitous," and my least favorite is "retarded." Have you ever been skinny dipping? No. If I actually had a body I was confident in, I probably would in privacy tho at night lmao. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Oh yeah. What is your favorite thing to do? Probably RPing with my favorite OCs when I'm in a really creative mood and during a great scene. Did you go to your senior prom? Yeah, I did. Prom's honestly pretty damn overrated, but I did it and his senior prom anyway. It's the picking out a beautiful dress and taking pictures that I loved. What did you do after graduation? I don't remember. We probably went out to eat or something. Favorite home cooked meal growing up? Spaghetti. What item most embarrasses you to purchase? Nothing, really. Do you give cards to people for holidays or events? No. Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents. Uhhhhh idk. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I hate the texture of whipped cream. Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? Sometimes if I want a snack but am trying to be healthy-ish, I'll eat just a scoop. What was the last pill you took for? Pain. Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? Loose, 100%. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Meerkats grooming. I did it in high school on a large piece of burlap. Are there any songs that remind you of your mother? "Take It Like a Woman" by Alice Cooper, for one. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? Very smart, sweet, friendly, and nice. Game you were best at in PE/gym? Pf, none. Obsession from childhood? Dinosaurs and Pokemon. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep stuff regarding the world or about how awesome animals are. Top 5 favorite Vines? Oh boy. There are just way too many. I'll try to name a few: 1.) the "I can't find my berries" saga guy; 2.) *in drive-thru, asked what he would like to order* "I wanna FUCKIN DIE"; 2.) "i cOUldA DROPpeD my CroISSAnt"; 3.) "it's Wednesday, m'dudes"; 4.) "a d a m"; 5.) "I WON'T HESITATE, BITCH." God, I miss Vine. What is the first meme you remember seeing? Holy cow, I have no idea. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite tradition? Dressing up for Halloween, even though I don't do it anymore... Talent you’re proud of having? Writing. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz was unbeatable. I was obsessed. Any good luck charms? I don't believe in those. Favorite potato food? French fries. Tell me the color of your eyes, without using the name of a color: Uhhhh a cloudy sky right before rain? Ever been through a goth phase? Goth is my fucking AESTHETIC. I wish I could afford a truly gothic wardrobe, because you bet your sweet ass it's all I'd wear out. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think so? It was a Blueberry, I believe. Who is your favourite character from Alice in Wonderland? Obviously the Cheshire cat. What is your favorite type of YouTube video to watch? Lately, it's been tarantula and snake channels/pet YouTubers. I still think my overall favorites are let's plays, but right now it's just stepping back a bit. What’s the next project you are excited to start? I have this pretty cool drawing I wanna do of a morbid meerkat doing a big toothy smile, doing a peace sign (but his fingers are syringes) with a crown blinking over his head. Inspired by the "Professional Griefers" lyric of "lab rat king." I just really wanna make it perfect and am procrastinating in fear of failing... Have you ever experienced a miracle? I don't think I believe in miracles. What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Alessandra, Justine, and Chloe, to name a few. Which did you like better: high school or college? High school, at least in most ways. What is the theme of your bedroom? It doesn't have a theme. My interests just kinda threw up everywhere, haha. Have you ever lived in a dorm? No. Were you raised religious? Yes. Do you do your own taxes, or do you hire a professional? I don't have to do taxes yet. What was the very first thing you ever saved up to buy with your own money? Venus was the first big thing, I think. Describe your favorite Christmas ornament: I don't know what that would be, honestly. We have so very many. What jobs did your parents have when you were growing up? Dad's always been a mailman, and he also had a second job as a carpenter for a while. Mom worked with special needs children at my elementary school as a teacher assistant. She also worked at the hospital at one point, doing some computer work. I don't remember her actual position. Are you taller than your mom? We're the same height. Would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? Sure, that's not a big deal to me. Last reason you went to the ER? For myself, a suicide attempt/overdose. What was the last word document you typed? This survey, actually, so I could save progress as I combine them. What’s something you don’t think people take seriously enough? Global warming. Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? An apple. I wanted apple slices with peanut butter. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? Holy SHIT that is impossible. Maybe the devil cakes, but I really don't know. I love most of them. Do you/your family buy loaf from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? Bagged. White, wheat or other? Mom buys white bread, but my favorite is pumpernickel. What was the last non-fiction book you’ve read? (Not a school textbook!): I ain't got a clue. I don't really read non-fiction. What color are your headphones/earbuds? These are blue. Would you be embarrassed to find out you snored loudly in public? Yep. Thankfully, I don't snore. Do you feel guilty about killing bugs? Yep. How do you feel about coconut? Not a fan. ^ Ever cracked one open? Ha, I've always wanted to. Who did you last worry about and why? My mom. She's getting a CT scan ASAP due to chronic headaches and stomach pain, so I'm worried her cancer might be re-emerging. When was the last time you ate/drank something gross just to be polite? I don't know; I struggle to do this. If I don't like something, my face shows it. I can't help it. When did you last make up a baby’s bottle? Never. Do you have any framed black & white photos in your home? Who are they of? No. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I don't know. Real talk, I find most luxury brands to sell pretty ugly stuff... Do you like candy canes? Yeah. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yes; one is my landlord. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? It was black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Do you like burning candles or incense? I love incense. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? When I used to live in the woods, I did every now and then to take pictures. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? Single, but that would be so romantic. /swoons How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was this emo/metalhead/goth creature. What is the best present you have ever received? My dog Teddy. <3 What is the best present you have ever given? I put the most effort into a scrapbook thing of well over a hundred reasons I loved my then-boyfriend Jason. Even though we're done, I honestly hope he still has it, just to remember. What is the best surprise you have ever had? Sara's parents paying for a flight up there to be with Sara for her birthday. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Ever sleep with someone on the first date? Definitely a nope. Ever give someone a wrong phone number on purpose? No. What’s the strangest thing you have ever witnessed firsthand? I have no idea. It's... very morbid, but possibly dogs twitching after being euthanized. Seeing Teddy do it was such a strange, painful experience. Like there was still life in there... even though I know it was just his nerves doing their final hoorah and he was already dead. Ever seen a psychiatric ward? I've been in a mental hospital five or six times, so I'm uncomfortably familiar with them. What is the last thing you did that you didn’t want to do? Group therapy. I'm really burning out on it. Thankfully, I don't have it on the weekends. What is the last thing you convinced someone else to do? I dunno. If you could live in a different time, would you? When? Nah. Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone else? Sleeping alone is more comfortably physically, but I usually prefer sleeping with a partner because there's this amazing feeling of safety, love, and companionship. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Do you prefer cold air and blankets, or warm air and no blankets? Cold air and blankets by ten miles. I can't sleep if I'm even remotely hot. How often do you dust? Sigh, not as much as I need to. What is the most "extreme" activity you have ever done? I haven't done very much that fits that description... so idk. Dr. Pepper or root beer? Dr. Pepper. I hate root beer. Last room you cleaned? Mine. Last thing you did that made you feel like an adult? Checked into the doctor's office by myself, haha... Talk about sad. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? It's not my business to actually share those pictures, but I can describe them. I fucking ADORE this candid photograph I took of my mom laughing; I will forever cherish it. It's morbid to think about, but it's absolutely a picture I'll frame of her once she's passed away. I don't have many pictures of Dad, but I do really like this picture we took together at Red Lobster once. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? Mom pays an Adobe Creative Cloud photography bundle subscription for me, but that's it. Last TV show series you finished? Fullmetal Alchemist with Sara. It was a rewatch for me, but she'd never seen it. What’s something exciting that’s happened to one of your friends recently? A childhood friend got engaged a few days back. Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? We have a few somewhere. What were the last things you glued together? I don’t recall. What are your friends’ pets’ names? I'll just use Sara here since she's my best friend. She has two family dogs, Buster and Beesly, a cat named Winter, four ball pythons named Martha, Crowley, Little Dot, and Jane Marie, and Doris, a bearded dragon that I personally adore most. :') What all did you do today? I played World of Warcraft early this morning, but not for very long. I've been in a phase of being very uninterested in it lately. I've mostly just done surveys... lots of surveys. I'm just in the mood to. I've also been listening to music and watching John Wolfe play Amnesia: Rebirth periodically. If you live in a house, how many floors does it have? If you live in an apartment building, how many units does it have? It's just one floor. Would you like to live in a world with mythical creatures, even if they turned out to be evil or dangerous? Honestly... I probably would, haha. Are you scared of heights? Yes. When was the last time you lost something of great sentimental value? Did you ever end up finding it again? Never, I think and hope. What food do you find to be the most filling? Is this something you eat a lot of? Eggs or oatmeal. Not really. What do you think of people who purposefully train their dogs to fight or to be aggressive? They're fucking garbage human beings. If you suffer/have suffered with acne, do you squeeze your spots or do your best to just leave them be? Ugh, I was so bad (and still am if something pops up) about picking at it. Does your father have any hobbies? What are they? Sure. He loves sports, fishing, idk if he still plays video games, fantasy football... and I can't forget playing with his grandkids. It's hard for me to know all of them when I don't live with him and see him rarely. What did the last face mask you wore look like? It was just a white cotton one. Is there a specific song that you always request at parties? What is it? I don't go to parties. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write it. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? I've had infected piercings as well as a badly infected pilonidal cyst. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Are you popular on any websites? No. What was the last song you listened to? Aaaaand now I'm hooked on "NIHIL" by 3TEETH. Are you currently texting anyone right now? No. When was the last time you played jump rope? Yikes, probably not since I was a kid. I used to love it. Who was the last person you offended? I dunno. What’s the earliest you’ve ever had to wake up for work? Not early. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? I know trans people who have, yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support and survived? No. At least, I don't believe so. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? They're divorced, and Mom at least can't stand him. Dad doesn't really care. Do you ever feel like you’re sharing too much about yourself online? Oh, I absolutely used to. I still might, idk. I've tried to reel it back some. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Eight, but they're just small, vertical rectangles stacked together, so it's not as revealing as it sounds. What was the last necklace you wore? My spiked choker, I think, for pictures. Or maybe the one I have with a bunch of big silver skulls. Do you think there are more dimensions than what we’re able to perceive? I don't think so, no. Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia? My half-sister on Dad's side that I've never met. Have you ever been in an abandoned house? A shack, yeah. Do you like art? I positively adore it. I could NOT imagine life without it. How about theatre? I don't care for it. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes, for Sara. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. Yeah, she's my best fren. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Nowadays I ask her almost daily how she's doing in regards to her progress of recovering from both serious physical and mental stressors. I try to always be an available ear if she ever wants to vent. Would you rather read or watch a video about something? Watch a video. In what ways have you fulfilled some of the hopes and dreams you had as a teenager? I've fulfilled none of those. What’s one stressful thing you’ve been trying to deal with lately? How have you been dealing with it? Inexplicable, chronic boredom/serious anhedonia. I've just... put up with it. I get pleasure out of essentially nothing most days, and it sucks big time. I just try to distract myself and force myself to do things I usually love, though I've been bad about actually succeeding in making me do said stuff... Is there a regional chain of store/restaurant/etc. in your area that you feel very loyal to? MOTHERFUCKIN BOJANGLE'S, BITCH. You think YOU have good fries somewhere? Oh hunny, sit down. Oftentimes, people warn us against getting tattoos or body modifications or dying our hair unnatural colors because we could be judged poorly for them. But has a more “alternative” look ever worked out in your favor? Well, I like myself better with my piercings and tattoos, and that's all that really matters to me. Do you have any daily routine/habit of that you’re really proud of keeping up? No. .-. Pick one of the following activities to do in a forest (assume you would be equally good at each one of these): Foraging for mushrooms, identifying trees, searching for specific types of bugs, trying to build something out of fallen branches and logs. Searching for bugs w/ my camera!!! But that all sounds fun. What’s the hardest class you’ve ever taken? My most recent math course that I failed horribly.

[drunkenonmysofa]

BASS & BUBBLEGUM [POPSTAR!Y/N AU] - PART FOUR

++mobile masterlist +b&b masterpost

parts; (one) (two) (three) (four) (five) (six

summary: you’re a world-famous pop star which everyone learned to either love or hate. when a video of you making out with 5 seconds of summer’s bassist leaks, your management decides to make it seem like you’re dating calum.

word count: 3,594

warnings: none that i know of

author’s note: i like this series so far!!! but tbh this part felt so rushed im creasing at my badd grammar but anyways i feel like i made y/n into an asshole lol uhhhhh enjoy??!!?? (i still dont know how to end these things)

A good night’s sleep is what usually prevented you from short temper. When your management told you that you could have a five-month break from touring to write your songs for the next album, you were ecstatic. Especially since this meant you could sleep as long as you want on most days of the week.

Despite nothing interesting happening in your life, you found yourself always inspired so that you could write songs for your album. Even though in the long run, your producer would dub it as too vulnerable for your pop insignia, the sugar-coated version of the phrase, ‘it’s absolute shit’. This never stopped you from writing your own material, though. It was discouraging at times, but you had to admit that it was fun recording pre-written songs that you came to like.

The whole writing process involved famous song writers that wrote solely pop music. Sometimes, if Lancelot was feeling generous, he’d let you write with them. Most of the time, the writers were incredibly thankful for your ability to create songs that made their jobs easier for them. The fact of the matter is, the lyrics were either too political or ‘edgy’ for a popstar to sing, and the song ends up getting trashed.

Occurrences like those make you want to either cry or walk out of the studio in anger, but you had to stomach it in since you’ve already signed the contract that held you in the management for another two years. Maybe then you’d make the music you’ve always wanted to make.

After the fight with Calum, he didn’t make an effort explain why he said those nasty things, more so on what he was ‘bitter’ about, but you weren’t really surprised. What’s surprising you is that Nina called you to go to the studio with 5 Seconds of Summer to co-write and record one of the songs that’s going to be their next single. Apparently, you were going to be singing with them, too.

“I don’t think I can.” Call it childish, but you try to make yourself sound sick anyways, coughing right after you finish your sentence. You couldn’t look at Calum, not after everything that’s happened a few days ago. “I’m sick.”

“No you’re not.” Nina sighed through the phone, immediately calling your bluff. “That’s not how you sound like when you’re sick.”

You groaned. “Let me rephrase, I don’t want to. I’m sick of Calum.”

“Well, you can ignore him. You can talk to the other boys, I’m sure they’re nice.” Nina said, trying to convince you to go. “It’ll be good PR. Your fans would love the new song. You can come by the studio after lunch.”

“I’m releasing an album in five months. They can wait.”

You could sense Nina’s annoyance radiating from the phone pressed against your ear. “You can write whatever you want for the song. Just see if the band likes it.” She said, her tone deflated and defeated.

Relatively, you rolled your eyes at it, but you can’t help but feel a little pity. “Fine, just this once.” And besides, writing was one of the favorite things you did, so why not give it a try?

Even though you still didn’t want to be in the same room as Calum Hood, you were happy to meet his band mates. Ignoring the thought that they might be just like Calum, you enter the recording studio of the band with a smile on your face and a cup of warm coffee in your hand. The excitement of writing with other people and other producers always overcame your pessimist thinking, making Calum the last thing in your head right now.

As you walked to the door of the studio, you could hear the laughing of guys on the other side. You could almost see them through the fogged glass doors. Nevertheless, you knocked so at least they would know that you’re about to enter. As you opened the door, the band’s laughing quieted down, noticing your arrival.

“Y/N Y/L/N!” The one with curly, light brown hair, Ashton, said before standing up from the couch and shaking your hand. He smiled with the smile that you always saw in his pictures. “It’s nice to see you! We really love your music.”

You blushed, smiling at his compliment. “Thank you, really. I love your band’s music too.”

Looking around the rather spacious studio, you noticed that you’re not the only girl here. There’s another three that you don’t quite know, but you smile at them anyways and they return their gorgeous smiles to you. As Michael and Luke introduced themselves and joined you and Ashton’s conversation, you notice that Calum isn’t here.

Michael must’ve noticed you looking around the room in search of a certain Maori. “Calum went out to get some food, by the way.”

You nodded in acknowledgement, sitting on the wide sofa and the other boys followed suit.. “Shall we start?”

“Calum usually needs to be here since he’s the main writer of the band.” Luke said, looking up from his phone briefly before returning his gaze back to the device.

“Yeah, we kinda need to wait for him, if that’s okay with you?” Ashton asked. It baffles you how nice they were compared to Calum. If he spent most of his time with them then why wouldn’t he inherit their kindness? But you don’t think much of it. Instead, you nodded at Ashton’s question, reassuring him that it’s no problem.

“And you haven’t met the other girls yet!” Michael said, overly enthusiastic about the fact that you’re here. He gently tugs at your wrists to make you stand up from the couch and walks you over to the other end of the room where the three girls are. “This is Bryana, Ashton’s girlfriend,” He lets go of your wrist to point at the girl you thought was gorgeous enough to be a model. You smiled at her as she stood up and wrapped her arms around you.

“Hey! You’re so much prettier in person!” Bryana said, her arms hugging you firmly before letting you go and sitting back down with a bright smile on her face.

“Thank you so much.” You blushed at her compliment. “You’re a lot mire prettier than me, though.”

Before Bryana could reply, the girl beside her with colorful hair stood up and briefly hugged you, too. “Hi! My name is Arzaylea.” She shook your hand with a soft smile on her face. “That lanky blonde is my boyfriend.” She said before pointing to Luke, who was still stuck to his phone. “And Bryana is so right, you’re so pretty.” Arzaylea complimented, sitting back down next to the other girls.

You couldn’t help but blush at her compliment. Michael walked over to the last girl, giving her a peck on the cheek before introducing her. “This is Crystal, the absolute love of my life.” He said, smiling at her.

Crystal playfully pinched his cheeks before standing up and shaking your hand, a lot more laid back than the other girls. “I’m Crystal, nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you girls, too.” You said, addressing the three of them as you shook her hand.

After a few minutes of small talk, you decide to go back to where the other boys were, striking up a conversation on how they want the song to sound like. You knew they relied heavily on lyrics and instruments rather than electronic music, you honestly envied them, but since you were writing a song with them, you figured you were going to know the basics.

“Do you play guitar?” Michael asked, taking an acoustic guitar that was on a wall stand and handing it out to you.

“Yeah, I’m a bit rusty, though.” You shyly replied, taking the guitar by the neck and resting it on your lap.

“We usually start with a tune and build from there.” Michael said, sitting down next to you. “But we need a theme first.”

“A theme?” You question, wanting them to explain further.

“Yeah! Like, a city or unrequited love. Y'know, the works.” Luke speaks up and puts down his phone. “Maybe we can try a breakup this time.” Michael and Ashton agree and asked for your input. You replied with an ‘I think I can do that’ before they’re reminded that Calum needed to be here and they reserve the songwriting for a few more minutes.

You smile, fiddling with the guitar and trying out a few chords before the boys talk about how amazing their upcoming album is going to be. “How many songs have you written so far?”

“Twelve.” You hear Calum’s voice say as he’s walking into the room, tossing everyone, including the three girls who are engaged in a conversation about a TV show, a burrito from what looked like Chipotle. You hear a chorus of thank you’s from around the room before he’s facing you and handing out a burrito in front of you. “You want some?”

You face contorted in confusion before giving him an answer. “Yeah… thanks.” Hesitantly taking the burrito out of his hands, you can’t help but shoot him a look of confusion before awkwardly averting your gaze. You don’t catch his reaction and suddenly, you feel your excitement for the writing drop in the sight of him. “Uh… can we start?” You quietly asked Ashton as he’s about to bite into his meal.

“You’re not gonna eat?” He replied to you with a question, biting into his burrito anyways and gesturing you to take a bite.

No, I’ve quite lost my appetite. “Maybe later.” You said, feeling Calum’s gaze on you as you try and shrug it off by playing a few chords on the guitar on your lap. Ignorance seemed to be bliss as you tried to not be bothered by his presence.

“I’ll help you get started.” Your head perked up to Calum, who was seated on the sofa chair a few feet from you. His face held a soft smile, one that you’ve never seen in person before, and this made you quite speechless. A few seconds of awkward silence between you passed before Calum sat next to you, everyone oblivious to what was happening as they were too engaged in their own conversations.

You, however, wanted to run out of the room as soon as Calum had the balls to sit next to you after everything that’s happened. But you try to bury the thought at the back of your head, thinking about how good for business this is and it was nothing personal.

Sighing, you turned around and faced him, the acoustic guitar still in your hands and a half-hearted smile on your face. “Okay.”

There you are again with that word, Calum thought. He didn’t know what was going on with you, but he’d already apologized. What else did you want? Still, he took the notebook off the desk and started flipping through the notes. After finding the right page, he held out the black notebook to you rather hesitantly, feeling a little insecure on sharing his writings to people other than his best mates. Especially you. “It’s… still unfinished and the chord progressions are all wrong. All I’ve got so far is the first verse. I don’t even have a title yet.”

You took the black notebook from him, reading the lyrics in his messy but fathomable handwriting. Your stoic face slowly turned into a small smile as you read his lyrics. “You wrote this?” You glance at Calum before returning your gaze back to the notebook. “This is amazing.”

Calum gives you a tight-lipped smile. “Thanks.” He said before asking you if you could add a few more lyrics.

“I think so,” You said, resting the guitar on the coffee table. “Do you have a pen?”

Calum nodded slightly before giving you the pen he retrieved from the pocket of his black ripped jeans.

This time, you don’t hesitate to take the pen from him, jotting down a few lyrics in a hurry as you noticed Calum struggling to look at what you’re writing. In the heat of the moment, you scoot closer to him, almost immediately feeling the warmness of his sweater-clad body. What you didn’t notice, is that Calum tensed up as you made contact with his physical body since the last time you saw each other. “So you’ll see the notes better.”

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop staring at you. How some of your hair fell on your face when you eyed the notebook in concentration, the way you would poke out your tongue at the corners of your mouth, and at how pretty you looked in the studio’s dim lighting.

It wasn’t until both of you were half-blinded by a flash that Calum broke his gaze off you.

“Mate, what the fuck?” Calum said, irritated at the pale, blonde boy sitting on the couch across him. “Did you just take a picture?” He inquired before shooting Michael a look as he laughed along with Ashton.

“Some PR stunt,” Michael nudged Ashton, making him laugh once more. “Adam’s gonna love this.” Michael said before posting the picture of you two on Instagram.

On the other hand, you were practically oblivious as to what was happening. While the three boys, Luke, Michael and Ashton, chuckled as they looked at Michael’s phone, Calum was shooting glares at the boys. This eventually bought you back to reality, realizing that you were so close to Calum that if he turned to face you, he would be inches from kissing you like he did in the video that started it all.

So you jolted up, immediately feeling heat rush to your cheeks as you put down the pen and notebook on the coffee table in a hurry. “I’m going for a walk.” Grabbing the coat off the rack, you quickly exited the studio, leaving the remaining people in the studio speechless.

“I’ll talk to her.” Calum said aloud before following after you.

You chose to keep walking away from the building, lucky enough to have no fans outside the studio. You chose to keep walking away even though you heard fast footsteps behind you. You especially chose to keep walking away when the person called your name in attempt of getting your attention.

“Y/N, please. Just come back to the studio.”

The tone of his voice makes you walk even faster, the urge to just avoid him growing stronger. It wasn’t until he was walking next to you that you stopped. “What are you doing?”

“Walking with you.” Calum didn’t stop walking until he noticed you halt, turning back slightly to meet your cautious eyes. “Are you coming?” The Maori held his hand out, his brown skin looking a little bit more golden in the presence of sunlight. You’re stuck wracking your mind on whether you should take his hand or not, still somewhat awkward with the thought of talking to him after everything that’s happened in the car.

It’s got you thinking that maybe you were overreacting, that it was just plain teasing and that you should accept his apology. But could you? You didn’t know Calum very well in the first place. For him to act like a total asshole to you on the first ‘date’ surely changed your opinion of him. You didn’t know if he’d try that shit again or not in the future.

Instead of taking his hand, you ask him one question that’s been in your head for a long time. “What happened at Josh’s party?”

“I’ll tell you if you’ll walk with me.”

The smile on his face reassures you that he’s telling the truth, so you take a chance. But you don’t take his hand, proceeding to walk next to him instead. Still, the smile remains on his face because he got you to agree, his hand falling to his side as he started slowly walking on the sidewalk. Luckily, the studio was located somewhere in the suburban part of L.A., making it easier for the both of you to talk without fans interrupting.

“So?” You looked up from your gaze on the asphalt ground to meet his brown eyes. “You gonna tell me or what?”

Calum tore the eye contact between the two of you, making an expression that you considered as disgruntlement. “I don’t know if you’ll freak out like you did last time.”

“If you don’t insult me then I might not.” You said with a slight twinge of sarcasm lacing your voice.

“We were both high when we went up to Josh’s room.” Calum started, making you somewhat nervous based on the tone of his voice. “It looked like you were already tipsy before I even introduced myself. We went to the couches and smoked some weed. Then we went upstairs because you said you wanted to sleep.”

You huffed. “The video. We were making out. How did that happen?”

“You really don’t know what happened?” Calum raised his eyebrow at your inquisition. “You pulled me upstairs and started kissing me.”

“That doesn’t sound like me.”

Calum squinted at the light of the sun that was shining in his face. At this point, he didn’t know if he was getting annoyed at the sun or at you for not recalling a single thing that occurred that night. “Yeah. I didn’t know the door was unlocked. That’s why the video leaked.”

“And what happened after?”

The question hangs around the air for a few seconds before Calum hesitantly answering. “You passed out while we were still making out. Then I left. Nothing happened between us, don’t worry.”

His hesitance and delayed answer made you wonder if he was telling the truth or keeping something from you. “Is that all?”

Then he smiled and nodded slightly, figuring that you could find out more in the right time. Both of you had to go back to the studio anyways. “That’s all.” He said, intentionally keeping the memory of you drunkenly telling him that you thought the songs he wrote was, quote on quote, something that no one can take seriously along with other words that threw daggers in his chest. But still, it was just words. He needed to get over it anyways. Right?

After Calum told you that the both of you should get back to the studio, you agreed. In the midst of walking, a title for the song that you’ve been writing with him popped up in your head. “I know what the title of the song should be.” You told Calum, glancing at him for a mere second. “Broken Pieces seems to be a good one.”

[nemento-mori]

I was tagged by @11thcentury​ ! tysm!

last…

1. drink:  Uhh Either milk straight outta the jug or half melted cherry slurpee from 7/11 i can’t remember which

2. phone call: My mom

3. text message:  “Like horseianity or smthn” from @funeral-on-the-roof​ dfdsjfhsj

4. song you listened to: Revali’s theme from botw

5. time you cried: urrghhhh abt a month ago or smthing it was Insecurity Hour™ (aka 2:30 am)

have you ever…

6. dated somebody twice: no

7. kissed someone and regretted it: No but tbh ? i probably will somewhere down the line

8. have been cheated on: no thank god

9. lost someone special: definitely :(

10. been depressed: lmfao,,,,,, y a

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: EUgh no i hate throwin up regularly I don’t think i’d ever get drunk enough to throw up

favorite colors…

12. to wear: all colors tbh!! rly like blue n pink tho

13. My fave colors are changing all the time but I really like colors that make my mouth tingle?? like rly bright sour looking colors like,, yum

14.  Warm colors r very good ones

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: yeah absolutely!

16. fallen out of love: nooope

17. laughed until you cried: W/ the ppl i know??? lmfao fuck yeah

18. found out somebody was talking about you: No thank god

19. met somebody who changed you: i dont think so? so no i guess

20. found out who your friends are: yea but not in a bad way

21. kissed somebody on your facebook list: no!!

general

22.  how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of mine, I’m not into adding ppl I don’t know. 

23. do you have any pets: YES. A dog named Bubba and three cats (cupcake, callie, n chihiro) 

24. do you want to change your name: No its pretty good! idk what i’d even change it to

25. what did you do for your last birthday: I think I skipped school and went to the zoo which is smthing i do like every birthday. 

26. what time did you wake up: Today? 9:35

27. what were you doing at midnight: playing bl2 w/ some friends!

28. name something you can’t wait for: to start my field biology class!!!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: uhhhhh like 3/4 hours ago now, her and my dad went to see a movie. 

30. what are you listening to right now: nothing atm but thats bc i’m typing this and i just realized my song ended 20 minutes ago

31. have you ever talked to someone named tom: Technically, there was a kid in my school named Thomas that I chatted 2 for a bit but idk if he went by tom. 

32. something that gets on your nerves: When ppl think that their overly cynical and negative behavior is “realistic” and “grownup” and other ppl are childish and naive for thinking positively 

33. most visited website: tumblr and youtube tbh...

34. hair color: brown but I just bleached it to a rly cute orangy blonde!

35. long or short hair: My hair is short, just above shoulder length but I normally have it a little shorter

36. do you have a crush on somebody: No, I haven’t in a very long time.

37. what do you like about yourself: I’m kinda weird n awkward sometimes and it used to bother me, but now I’ve grown to like it and accept it! Now I find it endearingly odd. 

38. piercings: No, tho i’ve always kinda considered ear piercings after seeing rly cute earrings and cuffs TTmTT

39. blood type: lmfao idk 

40. nickname: Becka! Tho the old ppl at my church always call me becky? 

41. relationship status: Single

42. zodiac: Libra! (capricorn moon/Leo rising)

43. pronouns: she/her

44. favorite tv shows: I dont rly watch tv, mainly netflix n hulu. I just finished Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency and it was RLY good I totally recommend. I LOVE watching Expedition Unknown tho Josh Gates is my idol I aspire to be him

45. tattoos: no but I wouldn’t mind getting one!

46. right or left handed: right!

47. surgery: Yah a couple! I had an extra tooth in the roof of my mouth when I was younger, I had a suspicious mole that was cut out (non cancerous tho) and I got my wisdom teeth removed! (had an extra 1 of those too :’) )

48. sports: i used to take Okinawan Karate, kinda want to get back into it!

49. vacation: My last vacation was to Dollywood with my mom n siblings, it was awesome!

50. pair of trainers: is this abt shoes????

51. eating: Nothing rn, but my little sister made cheesy noodle stuff a while ago for dinner

52. favorite drink: TEA i love that shit, especially floral tea.  

53. what are you up to: Answering this lol

54. waiting for: Parents to come home and tell me abt the movie

55. want: some chips... or just junkfood 

56. get married: maybe? 

57. career:  OOOOO so many idk, artist, environmental biologist, idkdikdikd

58. hugs or kisses: hugs!!

59. lips or eyes: on me? neither <:///

60. shorter or taller: Tall. I wanna be a little taller. 

61. older or younger: Either or rly! 

62. nice arms or stomach: tough one!! both lol

63. hook up or relationship: relationship deff! Hookups just aint for me

64. troublemaker or hesitant: I’ve wanted 2 be a troublemaker n bold since i was born but alas I am trapped in a hesitant girls body, 

65. kissed a stranger: no no no n on o

66. drank hard liquor: NO

67. lost glasses/contact lenses: Kinda, my cats like to knock my glasses off my nightstand and then I have to get my fam to help me find them ._.

68. turned someone down:  yea :////

69. sex on the first date: Not for me no no no

70. broken someone’s heart: God I hope not!!

71. had your heart broken: No

72. been arrested: No, i am a good noodle

73. cried when someone died: yes. 

74. fallen for a friend: no >o<

do you believe in…

75. yourself: Yeah but sometims I get frustrated at my own skill cap.

76. miracles: Id like to believe so, its good to believe in good things. 

77. love at first sight:  eh??

78. santa claus: I used 2!

79. kiss on the first date: yeah if the chemistry is right then fucking do it

80. angels: ehhh not particularly?? I mean I love the aesthetic tho

81. current best friends names: Aaron, Isaac, Kaili, Julia!

82. eyecolor: Green/blue color!

83. favorite movie: EMPERORS NEW GROOVE. ALSo Kubo and the Two Strings!

I tag uh, @sour-limelight @funeral-on-the-roof and @faebaeb !