#UGLY CRYING RN. I CARE THEM SO MUCH I’M SO GLAD THEY MADE UP

[shima-draws]

LUFFY FUCKING SOBBING IN RELIEF WHEN HE GRABS USOPP

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

@sicktember Prompt # 20: Doctor Visit/Checkup

Title: The Best Medicine

Fandom: N/A

Based on this post by me. (Sick doctor)

A physician leaves work miserably sick. His RN girlfriend takes care of him.

(Author’s Note: This breaks the rule I set of less than 2k words but I wrote it before I decided to do this challenge and thought it worked well here. I just needed a sick doctor having PE performed on them ok 😅)

Due to the fact that it was 6:30 AM and she was still more asleep than awake, it took her a while to realize the man she was dating was standing behind her as she waited in line for coffee. However, in her defense, she had never seen him in this coffee line at this time of day before (and she herself was here at this time every day).

It wasn't until she heard a familiar, sniffly yawning noise that she turned and caught his eye. 

"Shane? What are you doing here? You're usually sleeping right now." She didn't go to greet him right away, mainly because she didn't want to lose her place in line, and only two people stood between her and caffeination.

He too looked startled, though happy to see her. "Molly, hey," he said. There was a squeaky rasp to his voice and he had to clear his throat before he could continue. "Had an early meeting that got cancelled at the last minute. Since I was already awake, figured I'd come into the office early and clear out my inboxes."

"Gotcha. Well cool, that means I get to treat you to coffee for once. You find a place to sit and I'll get the drinks."

He shot her a grateful look and stepped out of line.

Molly ordered, received, and paid for the coffees quickly, tipping generously, before going to join Shane. He kissed her on the cheek as he took his cup, and they shared a warm smile as they made their way to a little sitting area, sharing a bench against the wall.

"Kathy's coffee is the best in the hospital. You'll love this."

"So you've told me many times. I'm glad I finally get to try it. What did you get me?"

"A surprise. You'll like it, trust me."

"Cheers, then." With another smile, they tapped their cups together before taking long pulls of their beverages.

"This is delicious," he said after a moment. "Best I've ever had from here. Thanks, babe."

"My pleasure." They sat for a bit in companionable silence, sipping their drinks. However, Molly couldn't help but cast sidelong glances at her partner with increasing frequency. Now that she was next to him, she saw he looked quite unwell. He was pale and shivery, with a flush over his cheeks and ears, and looking overall rundown and uncomfortable, a far cry from his usual easy smile and warm, steady demeanor.

"Is everything ok, doc? You really don't look good."

"You're saying I look ugly today?" he countered teasingly, dodging the question. 

She nudged him playfully. "You're just as handsome as ever. I'm saying you look sick. Are you feeling ok?"

He shrugged. "Think I'm just tired. Not used to being up so early. My head and throat are kinda sore I guess."

"Just tired, huh?" She reached out and placed her palm to his forehead, then his flushed cheeks, and finally his neck, where she could feel the swollen lymph nodes she had already seen. She clicked her tongue scoldingly.

"That's a fever, Doctor Mitchell, and a high one at that. Why in the world did you come to work today?"

"No kidding, really?" Shane leaned back against the wall, rubbing his neck and looking sheepish. "I can't even remember the last time I had a fever. Had to have been before medical school. Guess I forgot what it feels like."

"Hmm. Well regardless, you need to go home. You can't risk infecting your patients and staff."

"Yeah, of course. I'll go now."

When he stood, she did as well, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

"Feel better. Get lots of rest and fluids."

"I know the drill," he rasped, smiling a little. "I am a physician."

"Sometimes I have my doubts, mister 'doesn't know what a fever feels like.' Sports medicine doesn't deal with the flu much." She kissed his shoulder fondly.

"Yeah, yeah." He pulled away, running his thumb over her jawline. "Thanks again for the coffee. I'll see you later. Text me when you have time. I'm sure I'll be bored out of my mind."

"Will do."

She watched him go wistfully, wishing she was going with him.

Naturally he wasn't far from her thoughts for the rest of the day. The hospital OB-GYN clinic was as busy as ever, and the hustle and bustle kept Molly, an RN, quite distracted, but every moment of downtime found her wondering how Shane was doing.

She texted him a few times as he requested. The first time he replied right away, saying he had made it home safely and was relaxing on the couch. The second time he replied a few hours later, saying how tired he was and how he really was starting to feel unwell, but he was doing fine. The third time he never replied.

Her plans for the weekend had been solidified in her mind as soon as she felt how feverish he was. She practically ran out the door as soon as she clocked out. Her first stop was her house to change clothes, shower, and gather some supplies. Her second stop was Shane's favorite soup and sandwich place for two quarts of soup and two sandwiches to go. From there, she headed to Shane's condo across town.

She hadn't informed him she was coming because she had wanted it to be a bit of a surprise. Initially her plan was to leave the soup and sandwich on the stoop and ring the bell, then duck out of sight until the last minute. However, her plan changed when she caught a glimpse of him through the front door.

He was fast asleep, sprawled out on his stomach on the couch. Bundled under two blankets and snoring with his mouth open, surrounded by a nest of used tissues and dishes, he was the picture of illness.

She didn't have the heart to wake him by knocking, so instead she used her copy of his house key to let herself in quietly, being careful not to let the cold air in with her. He didn't stir even after she shut and re-locked the door. After removing her coat, she deposited the items she had brought in the kitchen, then returned to his side. Perching on the edge of the couch, she ran her hand over his face and through his hair to wake him.

He stirred weakly, mumbling and snuffling as he opened his eyes. His face lit up upon seeing her, and he quickly sat up, leaning all of his sleepy, overly-warm weight against her for a tight hug.

"Molly, you're here! I'mb so habby to see you," he croaked earnestly.

She hugged him back just as tightly. "Of course I'm here. When you stopped replying to my texts, I knew I had to come check on you. You look so sick, poor guy, and you're so stuffed up. Are you surviving?"

He shrugged, pulling away. "I guess. I'mb doi'g ok. So achy and tired. Just been sleebi'g all day." He licked his cracked lips and tried to swallow, which resulted in a grimace. "Budt you should go, babe. I don'dt wandt you to catch this. It's ndasty."

As if to prove his point, he turned away from her to cough productively into his elbow, thick and chesty. He followed it up with a honking nose blow that was far less productive. She watched this display sympathetically.

"I'm not leaving you all alone and sick like this. And anyway, if I do get sick, I think I know a doctor who could take care of me." She bumped her shoulder against his. He smiled wanly. "Now, have you taken any medicine recently?"

He sheepishly averted his eyes. "Umb… ndo. I… don'dt really have anythi'g to take."

"Ugh, Shane. Don't tell me you're one of those 'it only treats the symptoms' purists."

"Ndo, it's ndot thad. Like I told you, I just haven't been sigck in years. I've never thought to buy cold mbedicine."

"You're such a guy," she sighed. "Even if you are a doctor. You at least got your flu shot right?"

"Yeah. Budt they're already sayi'g it's probably ndot goi'g to be very effective this year."

"Of course they are." She sighed again. "However, I had a hunch this would happen, so I came prepared." She quickly retrieved a bag from the kitchen which rattled with medications, sitting down beside him again. She selected the ones she wanted and shook them into his hand, watching closely as he swallowed them.

"You're acti'g like you don'dt trust mbe to take care of mbyself," he teased, taking several gulps of water to chase the pills. 

"That's not necessarily true. I just want to do everything possible to help you feel better."

He had to cough harshly again before he could answer, hard enough to redden his face. "I love thad you wandt to take care of mbe. Budt you should really go. I'mb so contagious right ndow, and I don'dt wandt to try to stay away from you."

"Then don't. I came here to be close to you. I don't care if I get sick. It's the weekend anyway. I'm here for you and only you. Besides, you were probably contagious yesterday too, and we still made out. So it doesn't matter anyway."

"You're too good to mbe," he mumbled, finally succumbing and leaning his full weight against her, closing his eyes as he wrapped his arms loosely around her. "Budt I still don'dt approve. You're staying AMA, just so we're clear."

"Call me a rebel, then," she murmured, stroking his sweaty hair.

He sneezed suddenly, only once, but wet and laborious, catching it in his elbow. She quickly pulled a tissue from the nearby box. He took it gratefully, blowing his stopped nose as best he could before resting against her again. He sighed deeply as she resumed her petting.

"You're lugcky the desire to be taken care of when sigck is a deebply ingrained biological traidt," he continued to mumble, sounding sleepier by the second.

"I am, huh? Well you're talking an awful lot for someone who has no voice."

She felt him smile against her, but he did fall silent for a while, aside from his sniffling and soft coughing. She thought he was going back to sleep when he spoke up again.

"You know whad would mbake mbe feel even better thad mbedicine? Sumb soubp."

"Hmm, well it just so happens you have a girlfriend who thinks of everything." She gently shifted him off of her, going back to the kitchen and returning with a quart of soup and a sandwich.

"Sal's chigcken rice?" he rasped, his eyes lighting up hungrily as he sat up straighter. 

"Naturally. We've been together almost two years. I know what you like when you're not feeling good."

"You're a lifesaver," he groaned, taking the proffered food and digging in right away.

"I'm glad you have an appetite anyway. I won't ever forget last year's stomach flu incident."

 "Ugh, don'dt rembind mbe," he said with a shudder. "Bud other than thad one time, I'll always have an abbetite for this soubp. This is all I've wanted all day." He wolfed down the food with unexpected vigor.

"Well then you're lucky I think of everything, like I said. And to think you wanted to kick me out."

"I ndever *wanted* you kigck you oud. I'm just goi'g to hade mbyself whed you ged sigck," he mumbled, swallowing a mouthful.

"Maybe I won't get sick, did you think of that? And like I've been saying--" She leaned in to kiss him fully on the mouth, long and hard, until he pulled away gasping. "--I don't care. As long as you promise to take care of me if I do, I won't complain about a few days off. So stop worrying."

"Ugh, take it easy babe," he moaned, pressing a hand to his forehead. "This fever has mby blood flow all mbessed ub. You can'dt be usi'g your lips on mbe like thad."

"Don't worry, I'm not planning to seduce you today. Unless you instigate it of course." She gave him a wicked look and he flushed. 

"You're something else, Mol," he muttered, unable to hide a smile.

"Just eat your 'soob'." 

He did what he was told while she tidied up his sick bed area. When he was almost done, she fetched another bag from the kitchen and began rummaging through it. He eyed the items she pulled out suspiciously.

"How much crabp did you bri'g? And whad are you doi'g ndow?"

"Something I've always wanted to do. And something I think will make you smile."

"I feel like I've been smili'g since you godt here."

It was Molly's turn to flush and smile. "Something that might make you laugh, then."

She sat close beside him on the couch with her stethoscope around her neck, placing a little tablet of paper and a pen in front of her on the table. 

"Constitution:" she both said this out loud and wrote it on the paper. "Well-nourished. Unwell appearing today. Complains of malaise and myalgia. Lymphatics:" 

She had been neatly writing everything down as she spoke. After the last word, she reached out to gently palate the visibly swollen lymph nodes in his neck. He moaned softly as she massaged them, the moan turning into a cough.

"Cervical lymphadenopathy noted. Lymph nodes tender to palpation." She wrote this down as well.

"Whad are you doi'g, Mol?"

"You get to be a doctor all the time. Today you're definitely the patient, so I'm taking my turn being the doctor and doing a physical exam on you. We need to make a diagnosis after all."

"Ah, of course. Mby apologies, please continue," he said with a little laugh, wiping his nose with a tissue.

"Thank you. Open your mouth please." Inserting a thermometer under his tongue, she also took his pulse with her watch as the thermometer calibrated. 

"Resting heart rate is elevated at 86 bpm. Temperature is abnormal at 101.8 degrees Fahrenheit."

"I could've told you thad. I just toogk my tembp before you godt here."

"I find that hard to believe since you were sleeping when I got here. Now shh. Actually say 'ah'." She situated a tongue depressor in his mouth, peering in. "Throat erythematous and inflamed," she said and wrote. "Now lean forward a bit if you would."

He did as he was told, looking slightly put-upon and she slid the diaphragm of her stethoscope under his worn university tee shirt, placing it on his back as she listened to him breathe for a moment. "Minor ronchi noted. No crackles or rales. Minimal concern for pneumonia at this time."

"Well thad's a relief," he said, sniffling wetly.

"Shh, I still need to listen to your heart," she said, sliding the diaphragm of the stethoscope around to his chest. 

"Terrible beside manner. I'm leavi'g a ndegative review."

She gave him her sternest "doctor" look. He merely smiled impishly. She sighed, biting back a smile of her own, and listened again.

"Normal rhythm. L-1, L-2 heard."

Setting aside the instruments, she slid her hands under his shirt, feeling gently.

"Skin is overly warm or feverish. Abdomen is soft, non-tender and non-distended."

"You didn't have to go under mby shirt, you know. Abdominal exam cad be done over clothi'g," he said, smirking.

"I was being… thorough," she said with a wink.

He chuckled hoarsely. "Someone's godt the hots for their patiendt. Thad's trouble," he murmured, stifling a yawn as he pulled his blanket closer around himself with a shiver. 

"Neurologic: grossly normal. Tremors noted due to chills. Psychiatric: patient is oriented to person, place, time. Behavior normal, but appears lethargic, fatigued and sleepy."

After writing down these final notes, she cuddled up beside him on the couch, wrapping him in her arms and pulling him close as he started shivering in earnest. He nestled against her wearily.

"How did I do?" she murmured. "Did I make you laugh a little at least?"

"Very thorough and efficiendt," he mumbled sleepily, coughing. "And yes you did. Whad's your diagnosis and treadtment plan, doctor?"

"At best a severe case of rhinovirus. I'm more inclined to think influenza due to the fever, but we'll continue to monitor. No active intervention needed at this time. Bed rest at home, OTC medication as needed and adequate hydration recommended." At this she handed him his water bottle. He drank several big gulps before handing it back to her and snuggling in again.

"If that's what the doctor orders," he sniffled, closing his eyes. 

She held him for a while, since that seemed to be all he wanted, just rubbing his back and stroking his hair. However, they were forced to move when Shane pulled away to break into one of his barking, painful coughing fits. He tried to settle again after the fact, making a face. 

"I don't feel good, Mol," he mumbled pathetically. "This sugcks."

"I know, doc. But I'm doing everything I can to help you feel better. I didn't realize your fever was so high though," she murmured. "And that was after you took medicine. But you seemed just fine yesterday. You don't do anything by halves, do you?"

"Thad's one of the reasons you have the hots for mbe, you know id is," he croaked.

"The only thing with the hots around here is that fever. You're sweltering."

"Sorry," he mumbled, yet made no effort to move off of her. Instead he sneezed wetly into his elbow.

"Update, you're sweltering *and* gross," she said conversationally. Yet she made no effort to move away from him either, kissing his forehead instead. He yawned as she did. "And sleepy."

"Thingk I'm just sigck," he muttered.

"Yeah, let's go with that. Do you want to go back to sleep right now?"

"Ndo. Ndot while you're here. I'm too sigck to sleeb anyway."

"There's no such thing as being too sick to sleep. But if you don't want to sleep right now, I have one more present for you." 

"You've already given mbe too mbuch."

"There's no such thing as that either." She carefully shifted out from under him again and attempted to head to the kitchen once more. Before she could take more than a step though, he caught her hand and made her turn around. Seeing his imploring look, she stepped back into the V of his legs. He wrapped his arms fully around her, burying his hot face in her abdomen. 

"Thangk you mbuch for the soubp and mbedicine, baby. You really are a lifesaver. I just wanted to tell you thad."

She nuzzled her face into his messy hair. "Anything to help you feel better. I can tell you're still miserable though."

"Nodt miserable with you here." 

"Just sick."

"Mhm," he mumbled, sleepily as ever. She let him hold her for another moment or two before speaking again.

"Seriously though, I have something else I want to give you. It'll just take a second to grab."

"Fine," he sighed. As he pulled away, she saw a hazy, pre-sneeze look cross his face. Sure enough, as she trotted to the kitchen, behind her she heard him emit a pair of messy, rough sneezes.

"That soup really got your nose going, huh?" she asked as she reentered the living room.

"Guess so," he sniffled, blowing his nose thickly. "Thad's the poindt though, right?"

"Indeed it is." She moved to the entertainment center and quickly plugged her laptop into the TV.

"Now whad are you doi'g?"

"Maybe you should stop asking questions and just wait and see."

"You know I hade surprises."

"That's not true at all in my experience, so I'm calling your bluff on that one. But you won't have to wait long for this one either way."

After a few setting changes to allow the laptop display to be projected on the TV, Molly popped a disk into the drive and started it up.

"Are we watchi'g somethi'g?"

"You and your questions." She tossed a thick DVD case into his lap. He picked it up, his eyes widening happily.

"The original Jurassic Park trilogy? Holy crabp, this is awesome!"

"I'm glad you approve," she laughed, stepping into his arms again. "It was going to be your Christmas present, but I figured a sick day at home is an even better occasion."

"This is perfect, love. You're ambazing," he mumbled, squeezing her tightly.

"Anything for my best guy." She nuzzled his hair again fondly. "Anything to help you sleep."

"I don'dt wandt to sleeb while you're here though. I don'dt wandt to mbiss out on seei'g you."

"Well then you're in luck, because I'm planning on staying here all weekend. So I'll be here when you fall asleep and when you wake up. No time wasted at all."

A grin split his face. "You'd do thad for mbe?"

"I wouldn't dream of doing otherwise. Doctors need to be looked after too, especially by their nurse girlfriends. So you stretch out and get comfortable and leave the rest to me."

"You're cooler than anadomy and dinosaurs combined, you know thad?"

Molly giggled happily. "I don't know if I'll ever come back from such high praise. You better quit while you're ahead, Dr. Mitchell."

"Only if you promise to make mbe coffee in the morni'g. Your good coffee."

"Sounds like a plan," she said with a grin and another kiss.

[ribbithe8]

aaaaaskfdjskjsdf ok this is just going to be a word vomit because rn my head is like *brain haze* bc i’m feeling way too many things and i’m still reminiscing about the concert last night and like, reflecting on my last 1.5 years with seventeen, or i guess technically last 6 years? my god.

listening to rock with you is gonna turn into a crying trigger for me at this point because I’VE FINALLY EXPERIENCED IT LIVE NOW. I LITERALLY SAW THE GUYS PERFORM IT IN FRONT OF MY EYES WITHIN LIKE 40 FEET OF ME. i saw them last night!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!! one of my favorite songs of all time and my emotional attachment to it... 

EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES I JUST REMEMBER MINGHAO WALKING TOWARDS OUR SIDE OF THE FLOOR AND HIS EYEBROWS LIFTING SLIGHTLY/HIS EYES OPENING JUST A LITTLE MORE AT MY HEADBAND. AND THEN ME QUICKLY DOING A FINGER HEART AT HIM. AND THEN!!!!!! HIM RETURNING IT TO ME!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! MINGHAO LOOKING AT ME!!!!!!!!! I’M DELUSIONAL!!!!!!! okay obviously i know it’s just another normal fan at a concert interaction it’s literally his job. i just happened to catch his attention bc of my green kermit headband:

(fuck oakland arena for the no light-up stuff rule. i wanted to turn this on so badly. but at least he saw it during soundcheck. thank u my college friend’s roommate for making this for me Q_Q) 

BUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE FACT THAT HE GAVE ME FINGER HEART BACK.... SOUNDCHECK WAS WORTH THE MONEY AND PAIN AND SUFFERING ALKALKJALKFDJLSKJFSD. even though we arrived kinda late we still made it on time and the livenation staff was understanding of our situation (not having the original purchaser’s ID because we bought resale), everything just worked out perfectly for us... i guess the only con of the concert was that i wasn’t quite used to adjusting my camera settings for photos/videos in the beginning, and that’s when rock with you was performed T___T as well as performance unit songs. to be fair PU’s stages had VERY bright lights so it was a challenge to take pics and videos anyways compared to HHU and VU (vocal unit was BY FAR the easiest, because they’re all standing in place lmfao). but yeah alkjasfdkj aghhhhh even though i didn’t get many good photos or videos of minghao (PLUS HE DIDN’T COME TO OUR SIDE OF THE STAGE MUCH i know he’s more of an introvert but my babyyyyy 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 this is why soundcheck was worth lol)

OKAY ALSO he looked very cute yesterday :((( i jokingly call him ugly all the time because his face is not at all my type but he genuinely did look very nice in person. i’m really glad that i got to see him in the flesh instead of only knowing him through photoshopped and heavily filtered or whitewashed photos and videos. because really, that’s one of the main purposes of going to a kpop concert anyways... also i don’t like most of minghao’s selfies because they’re so filtered or warp his face in a way that looks kind of uncanny LOL. i love my honey the way he looks normally 🥺

i think for the next concert i definitely want to bring a sign to catch his attention again LOL. the headbands really worked during soundcheck (but then again that’s also only VIP so i have less competition and the lights were on). i feel like a sign asking him to be my wife in chinese would make him react more LOOOOOOL. minghao please be my lawfully wedded wife 😤

god it really doesn’t feel real that i saw them in person 26 hours ago... what the hell... minghao was less than 10 feet from me... 😭😭😭 

UNWHITEWASHED!!!!! NO FILTERS!!! SKIN TEXTURE!!! (because all my other photos and videos the exposure is too high so he looks white ALKJSLKDF) THE REAL HIM!!!!! 

i like this one because he was standing still and if you zoom in you can see he’s actually looking in our general direction lol. 

i don’t care if he looked at us with annoyance or whatever and doesn’t actually like concert fans much (because if i was an idol i’d probably be annoyed by most fans lol) i’m just glad i got to see him :’) i give him love as a fan because i love him as an idol, not because i want him to like me as a person LMFAO it’s strictly a business/transactional relationship of fan-idol, but with general good feelings. something most kpop fans can’t distinguish which is why i can’t vibe with them... but anyways yeah i like this pic because he kinda looks like he’s giving me/my camera the sideeye 💖💖💖

his resting bitch face 💖💖💖💖💖💖 literally the thing that got me interested in him... normal people be like “omg he looks mad :(” meanwhile i’m just HE LOOKS PISSED MY BABY 🥰

also oh my god i can never go back to normal seating for seventeen. i need front row bro. or at least within the first three rows otherwise i think i’ll legit die AAHAHAHAH now that i know what it’s like to be up close 😭💀 i just opened google photos and the first thing it showed me was oty in 2020

THIS VIEW WAS NOT BAD but it’s NOTHING compared to my view last night like holy fuck i was at fansite level closeness

LIKE CHAN WAVED AND SMILED AT ME. I MADE THIS MY LOCKSCREEN AND I GET EMOTIONAL EVERY TIME I OPEN MY PHONE NOW ALKAJLKSJDLFK you can’t get this experience sitting in the regular seats 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUGHHHHH

also i got really good photos of wonwoo since he did come to our side during back it up i think. actually i wasn’t paying attention to the HHU songs ALKJADSKFDS i was only focusing on getting photos since i don’t have any attachment to HHU songs. but yeah, the wonwoo pics kinda went viral on twitter (miwon17_ reposted them LOL my kpop famous era... my dk and vernon photos as well. can’t believe dkzones reposted all my dks). even though he fell down my bias list he’s still the main reason for why i even fell into caratland in december 2020... like i literally made this blog because of him AOIWTOAASLKJSF so i cannot deny his impact 🙈 so might as well feed the wonwoorideuls. ALSO HE LEGITIMATELY DID LOOK HOT but imo he looked the sexiest during soundcheck when his hair was unstyled and he had bangs over his entire forehead. something about the hair down 2nd/early 3rd gen kpop hair that was popular when i was in jr. high and early high school that activates my hunger...... i wasn’t expecting to feel 😳 over wonwoo at any point that night but soundcheck!!!!! wow! 

i really feel like i’ve changed so much since i got into seventeen... my main interests are still anime and games and i listened to kpop regularly before too (mostly girl groups) but seventeen has really given me so much to look forward to in life, or like it’s elevated my mental state to the point that i can actually appreciate and find joy in so many more things? as much as i have disdain for kpop fans (i ranted about some white girls sitting near us in vip. lol) it still really is fun talking and befriending some of them, even if i’m a specific type of kpop fan that like... cannot blend in with most normal kpop fans lol. i’m just glad my best friend irl is more insane than me so we just connect all the time. and that i have fellow lesbian/wlw minghao friends who also get the gender envy and want to eat him, but don’t actually feel romantic or sexual attraction to him...? IDK my relationship with minghao is very complex which is why i can’t vibe with most 8stans honestly but he is my honey baobei and as long as i have 1-3 people who get it (which i do!) all is well in the world <3 so while my dream of being noticed/acknowledged by minghao has been fulfilled, the next goal is to make him laugh somehow... next world tour please 🙏

god though listening to rock with you really does make me so emotional. i was basically dying when the song and mv dropped in october and 10 months later it’s still kicking my ass 😭 UGH I LOVE SEVENTEEN SO MUCH!!!! they’re part of my routine now and i’m so glad they’re still active and will be for a few more years at least. i can see them live at least 1 or 2 more times :’))) the experiences and emotions they’ve given me are things that no one can take from me

[brave-clarice]

“Clarice” Liveblog: Episodes 5 & 6

Since these are extraordinarily late, I tried to keep them more concise/focused than before. I’m sorry for how long it’s taken me to (almost) catch up. And to the handful of you who’ve enjoyed these and encouraged me to do them: thank you!

Episode 5, “Get Right With God”

the music at the beginning of this episode might just be in the maintenance guy’s headphones(!) but it was still a…Choice.

there’s something so tragic about watching Clarice be unable to use her legs… :’(

this whole scenario feels like a twisted parallel universe version of the end of Hannibal.

glad to see Ardelia finally has her priorities straight and is going to fight for her best friend! let’s forget her Episode 4 subplot ever happened.

good: the warrior finding a weapon even in the direst of circumstances!

bad: those damn moths are back. at least this time they might be drug-induced.

“she worked Bill alone” no, she didn’t. not really. (Hannibal: I’m right here.)

stop trying to make Likable Paul happen, it’s never going to happen!!!

I HATE the “Reesey” nickname, y’all. HATE. IT.

plus, we know that her dad called her “Baby”?

her father’s appearance doubles down on the end-of-Hannibal vibes...Not Sure If Want.

wow, Clarice is being literally tortured? thanks, I hate it!!!

really doubt that Clarice’s Pinto used to belong to her father (who drives a truck in the books??)... weird flex.

and how would she even have gotten it? her mother would either have driven that car into the ground out of necessity or else have sold it for the money the Starlings needed so desperately.

Pintos also weren’t super high-quality cars and were definitely not built to last ~20 years.

Clarice already being able to chat with her father whenever she needs to really undermines the therapy Hannibal will eventually give her, but…I guess they’ve already accepted they’ll never make it that far?

“you’re trying to get in my head” yeah, and she’s doing it, too–’cause she learned from the best!

“you get an answer, I get an answer, Felker.” she’s Hannibal’s girl all right.

this episode’s had flashes of brilliance before diving back into…whatever tf watching one of your favorite characters of all time being tortured is.

I really wanted Ardelia to say that no, but Clarice was like a sister to her.

it took FIVE episodes to get some lamb imagery, but we’ve been looking at moths for the entire season?!

oof, Clarice voicing her own insecurities about her childhood abandonment and using them to twist Felker’s arm...painful but smart.

HANNAH!!!

I would die 4 baby Clarice

after all that, Clarice is going to apologize to Ardelia about last week? this episode SUCKS.

Good: Clarice playing mind games with Felker like Hannibal did to her; Ardelia going to bat for her bestie, lamb flashbacks, baby Clarice, and HANNAH!

Bad: So much. Clarice being medically tortured multiple times, moth hallucinations, the several-years-premature (imo) Daddy-as-Guardian-Angel plot device, “Reesey”...did I mention Clarice getting repeatedly tortured?!

Ugly: Krendler backstory + making out with his wife. Ew.

Wow, this episode was a hot mess, and I kind of hated it. I loved Clarice’s really Hannibalesque approach to Felker, and I’m so thrilled that Hannah got mentioned at all (tho...did they need to be so heavy-handed with the helmet and gun and everything?) Also nice to see Ardelia behaving much more in-character. That said, it was sickening and imo totally unnecessary to further traumatize Clarice the way they did. To make her almost helpless.

Clarice, and by extension Rebecca Breeds (who is fantastic and deserves better), has been given very little range so far. She’s frequently been shown as miserable, afraid, desperate, traumatized, angry, resentful, but I also want to see her joyful, laughing, silly, relaxed...something else that will give her depth. Her life wasn’t miserable 24/7, 365. It was just unfulfilling. We got glimpses of this in the first two episodes. PLEASE bring it back!

And rn I’m questioning how Clarice’s career can possibly drag on for another six years after this. Her apparent PTSD is already interfering with her job performance as it is--this experience is only going to make it worse. Her “body count” in Hannibal was around five, iirc, and that was enough to slap her with the “Death Angel” moniker. In the show at least four people have died in close proximity to Clarice in the space of like...a week. How does she come back from that, even as the savior of Catherine Martin? It’s a PR nightmare for obth Clarice and the FBI.

They’ve also sort of forgotten that the Martins existed while continuing to flesh out Krendler’s (?!) character? It’s weird.

I almost don’t even want to watch Episode 6 after that. But here goes...

Episode 6, “How Does It Feel to Be So Beautiful?”

the freaking MOTHS again, I hate them!

frankly, yeah, Clarice should be on leave.

Clarice’s nondescript monochrome suits and constant ponytail are just so boring. in the book she’s described as never having to put effort into making her hair look good--so why is it always pulled back in this show?

I’m not sure it’s very in-character for Clarice, at this point in her career, to go over her boss’s head to get out of admin leave (one she really needs to take tbh) even for the sake of solving a case

lol what the actual hell @ AG Martin guilt-tripping Clarice, who was very recently tortured and almost died, for not calling Catherine back? Clarice is not Catherine’s therapist!

THIS is what my Vogue-reading heroine with burgeoning great taste wears for a night out? so disappointing.

never in my life did I think I’d be sitting through Krendler’s personal drama in a show ABOUT CLARICE STARLING.

her costume sucks and her hairstyle’s from years in the future, but dang does Clarice look gorgeous.

and I love thinking of her getting a taste of the luxury she’ll enjoy with Hannibal. :)

you know what? I think I was actually fine with them forgetting that the Martins were in this show.

whyyy is Krendler being made so sympathetic?!

now Catherine Martin “loved to sew” just like Frederica Bimmel? hmm. (tbf, maybe this is in the novel, and I’ve just forgotten.)

her gift for Clarice is sweet, though.

so beautiful, indeed

Christ on a cracker, that confrontation between the Martins was painful to watch (not a criticism). this show’s AG and her daughter are very much two of a kind in terms of emotional manipulation.

I stan one (1) doofus

now either Catherine’s gaslighting Clarice...or Clarice’s trauma (over BILL! again with this!) is so pervasive that it’s twisted her memories. either way, I hate it.

so Krendler’s lawyer is dirty and that’s why he’ll (probably) turn against Clarice? but WHY? why can’t Krendler just suck?

Good: Clarice looking gorgeous, Ardelia continuing to fight for Clarice, female characters in positions of authority everywhere

Bad: Clarice’s underwhelming costumes, Clarice’s primary/worst trauma apparently STILL being Buffalo Bill & having Clarice break down crying again (and NOT over what happened last week, which would tbh make a lot more sense).

Sad: Shaan’s backstory about his wife, everything involving Catherine

Ugly: Krendler subplot. Ugh.

I just don’t know how I feel about this installment. Wish I cared more about the overarching conspiracy plot, but I’m really only here for Clarice and Ardelia. And while no show can stand on the shoulders of a single character, for a show about Clarice, there seems to be quite a bit of screentime devoted to her bosses, Martin and Krendler, and even to her team members. And all without Clarice herself getting much character development. They don’t seem to be exploring much of her character other than her traumatic backstories, and I’m no longer very hopeful that she’ll be much more fleshed out in the last four episodes, either. It’s a bummer. I really think Rebecca could shine like Jodie did if she were given a chance.

Most of the scenes with the Martins were visceral and felt so real that it was hard to watch. That said...the AG Martin/Catherine content all strikes me as being somewhat detached from the rest of the show, as if the writers are making it up as they go along with no real end goal in mind.

Man...these two were rough going. Very little humor or warmth and absolutely no joy. Of course the source material is dark, so a somewhat dark crime drama is to be expected, but I really think the show needs a slightly less intense, bleak and (dare I say it?) unpleasant episode. But they writers have really dug themselves into a hole by zeroing in on Clarice’s PTSD. And unlike in Hannibal, there’s no love interest with whom she (and by extension, the audience) can flee her misery and pain. 

I'm cautiously optimistic about the rest of the season. A lot of the ingredients are there, and despite my many criticisms, it’s been great to spend time with a character I love. Fingers crossed that they finish strong!

[mywritingonlyfans]

Hiiii

So I just need to rant:

Basically I’m kind of chubby (been overweight pretty much my entire life because of a medicine I was on as a child for asthma) and it’s destroyed my self esteem and confidence. I’ve never been a confident person but staying home has made me hate myself even more. Like when I go out now (I’m fully vaccinated so occasionally I’ll go shopping and stuff) I’m so self conscious. And it doesn’t help that my mom constantly brings up my weight and says that I need to lose it and I’ll be even prettier when I’m skinny. I understand it’s coming from a good place, but it’s just too much. She doesn’t understand how much I hate myself and how i would literally do anything to lose weight. I feel like I’ve tried everything and all it did was ruin my relationship with food. And I genuinely don’t have anyone to talk to about it because nobody understands. I don’t have any real friends and the couple of people that I talk to are all skinny so they don’t get it. And my mom was also skinny her whole life because she has a really bad stomach so she basically barely ate growing up. I’m really close with her, but she just doesn’t understand. I also need to buy some new clothes for school and stuff (I basically only own pajamas lol) and it’s so hard because I wear the hijab (which means I have to dress modestly) and I hate the way everything looks on me. I know physical appearance doesn’t matter but it’s annoying when every single person I know has had at least one guy be interested in them while nobody has ever even looked at me. I know it’s because of my looks because I honestly don’t think I have a bad personality. This has also really destroyed my mental health because I literally can’t be happy. I’m about to cry just typing this. It’s so annoying because I think everyone is beautiful and I believe in body positivity but I just hate myself so much. I want to lose weight so bad but I really don’t think I eat too much and I’ve been trying to walk a few miles every morning so hopefully that will help. I’m sorry this is so long, but I genuinely have nobody that can talk to and I just wanted to get this off my chest. I just don’t want to hate myself anymore, but it feels impossible. And It! sucks because all of my problems are outward. Like I like who I am and my personality and stuff, but I feel so ugly all the time. Ugh I’m sorry for the long ask I just needed to talk.

hey, feel free to talk to me whatever you feel like you need someone💖 i'm glad you're comfortable venting with me here, the idea that you're verbalizing something that makes you feel bad can help you feel at least a little better, at least I hope you're feeling more relieved after typing this sweetie 🥺

it's horrible to see you talking about you that way because from the little i talked to you i could see how amazing you are, i wish i could get you to focus only on these things but unfortunately i know society is capable of make us think of ourselves as 'always not being enough', i really wish i could give you an arm and tell you this in person, you really seem like an amazing person... and i'm mad rn bc i wish i could help you in some way

I could go on, write a huge text saying how your body doesn't define you and that you shouldn't care about it (which is true) but I believe you're tired of hearing it and I also believe that it won't be one random girl from the other side of the world that will manage to make these words make sense to you, yet if you need to vent, talk about anything, i'll be fine here for you, okay? sometimes just talking about things can help us more than it looks!

If you feel like i should delete it just let me know!

[localkatshelter]

Okame’s Underbelly: Reunification |4th|

(ShinsoxOC)

Katsumi’s POV (localvillageidiot#0870) and Shinso’s POV (hecker#8339)

Warning: Contains mentions of a breakup, minor alcohol consumption, mild anxiety, swearing, and a wild Denki and Mina

Preview (Shinso’s POV):

| “Dude...what the fuck! Why did you wait until now to tell me this?! I thought you loved me! “ Denki whined with an exaggerated pout on his lips.

I cocked my head to the side “When did I say that?” I questioned with feigned confusion.

“First of all, fuck you. Second of all, I know you love me so shut up. Third, wait we’re on three right? Right. Third, we're besties til death do us part so there’s some invisible contract that states that I get expedited dibs on all your dark, dirty secrets.” He concluded smugly, as if he made a point.

“Oops, I breached the contract." I stated apathetically. "but I told you now, so no need to cry about it.” I went to mock wiping a tear from his face and he immediately attempted to bite my hand. I reflexively shoved him away.

 “Why are you like this?” I choked out between laughter.

Denki shrugged. “My body literally microwaves my brain so...maybe that’s why.” |

Beautiful Artwork By: Sinfulhime

1st Chapter - Anticipation

(Katsumi’s POV)

I groaned as I fidgeted with the ugly student mover tee shirt that the volunteer coordinator had handed me to wear for move in day. I can’t believe that I got bullied into volunteering to help students move into the dorms today. Stupid RA asking me for help, stupid RD guilt tripping me into it, stupid students bringing way too much shit. I hate it here.

I was standing by the entrance hoping no one would ask for my help when I saw a small car pull up in front of my dorm building. A boy with wild purple hair got out and was greeted by a blonde, who practically tackled him with a hug. That's adorable. I love when boys aren’t afraid to be affectionate with each other. I watched the two of them talk for a bit before beginning to unload the car. The kid with purple hair felt oddly familiar to me for some reason. I moved out of my hiding spot and away from the entrance a bit to get a better look at him. I started to squint to try and put him into focus when he turned around and noticed my staring. He gave me a dirty look and something clicked in my brain. Oh shit, it’s fucking Edgelord! He turned back around and started unloading his car. I started to walk over, though I didn’t really know why. I guess I just wanted to say hi, maybe check in with him to see how he was doing. I mean, he did bawl his eyes out in front of me and sleep on my couch after all. As I got closer, a question popped into my brain. Wait... what was this kid’s name again? I know he told me.... Sato? Shido? Shit... I can’t really remember. I drank that bottle of soju pretty fast so I was a bit buzzed... Before I could wrack my brain any further, I was right behind him. Well, let's hope he’s still got a good sense of humor.

“Hey Edgelord.”

“Um, hey?” he said, looking confused, but not mad. Well that’s a relief. 

“Funny running into you here. How’ve you been?”

I could feel his confusion rise. Maybe he doesn’t recognize me?

“Uh, I’ve been good.”

Well, I’m already here, so lets roll with it. 

“Well that’s good to hear. You’ve been feeling okay?” 

I smiled at him to try and put him at ease, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. He looked at the ground and shifted awkwardly at my question. When he looked back at me I could feel the anxiety swirl around in his head. When I felt a slight realization from him, I tilted my head to the side as if to ask if he had recognized me yet.

“Y-yeah, I’ve been feeling fine.” he stuttered. 

Guess not. I giggled. I didn't really care whether he recognized me or not, but it was good to know he was doing alright.

“Oh good. So, do you need any help moving in? I got bullied into volunteering anyway, so I might as well be of some use.” I showed him the heinous shirt I was wearing and rolled my eyes. He looked at it and laughed.

“Nice, but I think w-” 

His friend came up beside him and poked him in the side, apparently really hard considering his clenched jaw, and cut him off.

“What my colleague means to say is that he’s super weak and could really use your help moving in.” the blonde said to me with a sweet grin. 

I laughed again and nodded towards the car next to us. 

“You got it. Is this everything?” 

I leaned down and picked up a box, leaning it against my hip. Edgelord nodded and I followed them upstairs to their dorm. I talked with the blonde as we made a couple of trips between the car and the dorm since Edgelord was being quiet and, well, edgy. His friend was an absolute riot though. I already loved him.

“Who knew Edgelord would have such cool friends? I honestly thought he was a figment of my imagination until I saw him again today. I mean, who even likes grapefruit soju?” We cracked up at the slight jabs I threw. 

“Yeah, I think me and Denki got the rest.” Edgelord said, cutting us off abruptly. 

I tuned back into his emotions. He was feeling really uncomfortable, as if something I said had shut him down. I was honestly a bit annoyed by his rudeness at first, but I decided to let it go. He clearly didn't want me there anymore.

“Oh, okay cool. I’ll be on my way then.” I said, trying to keep my tone cheerful. I turned to the blonde. 

“It was really cool meeting you though! I’m glad we got to talk for a bit. Hopefully I’ll see you around.”  I shot him a big smile and headed towards the door. 

“Hold on there, stranger! What’s your name?” he called out to me.

“Oh right! It’s Katsumi, but you can call me Kat, everybody does.”

“Hi, Kat! I’m Denki, but you can call me anytime.” He shot me some finger guns, which I found corny, yet endearing. 

“Okay, you got it.” I chuckled.

I made my way past Edgelord and left, turning the corner and heading back to the main entrance to help the stragglers finish moving in. I wonder what set him off like that... Weird. 

Once the student mover volunteers were released from duty, I immediately called Mina to hang out. She was always the best person to unwind with, especially when I was in the mood to drink a bit after a long day. I dialed her number.

“What it do babyyyyy?”

“My place, ten minutes, B.Y.O.B, I have a couple of beers left.”

“Down, be there soon.”

I hung up and pulled out some snacks for us. Mina arrived a little while later with two packs of our favorite beer and a big smile on her face. We just lounged around and talked some shit about people in our lives that the other one didn’t know as we drank. I loved Mina because she was so easy to be around. We didn’t have to do anything but enjoy each other’s company to have a good time. 

“Hey Mina.”

“Hmm?” She turned to me, away from the television that I had put on for background noise.

“Do you remember that guy that I told you about? The one from the summer with the fucked up purple hair that cried to me at a bus stop?”

“I mean, I remember you mentioning it, but I know a lot of people with fucked up purple hair that cry a lot so...”

“Well, I saw him again today. He actually goes to the same university as me.” “No fucking way.” She sat up a bit, seeming more interested. 

“Yeah, but he was acting super weird when I was talking to him. It was like he didn’t want to be around me or something... but his roommate was super cool. His name was Denki, I think.”

“Wait what did you just say? Did you just say Denki?”

“Um, yeah. I’m pretty sure that was his name.”

“Blonde, with a black bolt? Corny as hell?”

“Yep, that's the one.”

“Shut the fuck up. This whole time you were talking about Shinso? Like...SHINSO Shinso?”

“Oh my god you're right, that was his name... Wait, how did you know that?”

“We all went to high school together.” she said, leaning back into her lounging position, pulling out her phone. 

“That’s crazy, what a small world. Anyway, I’m going to go to the bathroom real quick, do you want me to grab you another drink on my way back?”

“Yes please!” she sang. 

What I didn’t know was that while I was in the bathroom, Mina was up to no good. 

                                                 Mina’s Phone

                                           ⚡️ Discount Zeus⚡️

                                                      Today

                                                                                                      Biiitchhhhhh

Speak, wench

                                                    You’re living with Shinso this semester right?

Yyyup

                                                                       And some girl came over today? 

                                                                                                A little brunette?

...yes...spill… 👀

                                                                                 SHE’S MY BEST FRIEND 

Biiitch…

You’re fucking w me rn???

                                                  IM LITERALLY AT HER PLACE RIGHT NOW

NO FUCKING wAY ahkswsuwdl

You know her and my son, shinso had 

a lil moment over the summer right??

                                                                        Yes omfg she told me about it

                                                                         Dude, fucking EDGELORD?? 

                                                                                                          💀💀💀

STOOOOP

I was hOWLINGGG

⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️

                                                                                                       LMAOOO 

                                                                           Ok but on some real shit....

                                                                       Im tryna stir the pot.... You in?

Are you seriously asking me that??

You know I’m always down to rustle 

some jimmies 🤠

but like...what we doing?

                                                    Don’t tell Shinso anything, just bring him to 

                                                                                 Kiri’s party this weekend.

omg that sounds like a scrumptious idea!!

                                                                               Speaking of scrumptious,

                                                                            lets get food before. Imy bb

yessssss

& let’s bring our children with us

Marley’s? you know that’s our spot 🤤

                                                              YEEESSS MARLEYSSSS im so down

                                                        I miss Marley’s I haven’t been all summer

then it’s a must

can’t wait 😈

(Shinso’s POV)

“Dude...what the fuck! Why did you wait until now to tell me this?! I thought you loved me! “ Denki whined with an exaggerated pout on his lips.

I cocked my head to the side “When did I say that?” I questioned with feigned confusion.

“First of all, fuck you. Second of all, I know you love me so shut up. Third, wait we’re on three right? Right. Third, we're besties til death do us part so there’s some invisible contract that states that I get expedited dibs on all your dark, dirty secrets.” He concluded smugly, as if he made a point.

“Oops, I breached the contract." I stated apathetically. "but I told you now, so no need to cry about it.” I went to mock wiping a tear from his face and he immediately attempted to bite my hand. I reflexively shoved him away.

 “Why are you like this?” I choked out between laughter.

Denki shrugged. “My body literally microwaves my brain so...maybe that’s why.”

I shook my head at him and hopped off the bed to continue unpacking. After a couple minutes, I realized that Denki was too quiet. That was a rarity for him. At this point, he would usually be asking me personal and/or wildly inappropriate questions to catch up on the summer where I went from seeing him almost every day to about once a week. This was a huge difference according to his standards. Yeah, he's kinda clingy like that, but I didn't mind, to be honest. There were a couple weeks in between where I didn't see him, because I was at the start of processing the breakup, using the word process lightly. I looked back at him to see him grinning devilishly at his phone. I assumed he was talking to a potential “date’’ and went back to what I was doing. 

About an hour later, I was pretty much done. The only thing that stood out on my side was one large Rorschach inkblot poster above my bed. I had always interpreted it as two kitties playing with a ball of yarn, but I left it up to the viewers interpretation. That and no one needed to know why I liked the poster so much. 

“Ayo, Shinso.” Denki called out to me. 

I gave him my attention and the look on his face made me a little uneasy. 

“Want to go to Kiri’s party this weekend?” 

I knew Denki was aware that I wasn’t a big fan of parties, but he seemed eager so it was hard to say no. Since it’s the beginning of the semester, I’ll play nice for now. This wasn’t the first excursion that he had dragged me out on and I was sure it wouldn’t be the last.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Wait, really? That easy?” he questioned in disbelief. 

“What do you mean?” I asked, mild annoyance creeping into my voice.

“You usually don’t say yes the first time around. I always have to whip out my boyish charm to convince you.”

I rolled my eyes at Denki, laughing under my breath.

“Also, before the party, we’re gonna eat at Marley’s with Mina and her friend. Y’know, our beloved grease-bucket.”

I raised my eyebrows in mock excitement. I always had to mentally prepare for when Denki and Mina were in the same room. It was easy to get overstimulated with their relentless energy, especially because they build off each other. It was similar to being in a wind tunnel, I would say. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy their combined company. Just…in moderation.

It was finally Friday, and the first week of classes were done thankfully. I was tired of going over syllabi. Denki and I pulled up to Marley’s and she was looking janky as ever. I can’t lie, the food was disgustingly good. It sounds like an oxymoron but I assure you, it’s not. Your tongue and brain were in ecstasy but you could just feel the sludge forming around your heart and slowing it down. I tried not to frequent this place due to that reason. My mouth was already watering as I stepped out of the car. I immediately caught  a glimpse of Mina’s pink mop behind the window. The mess we call hair is something we could relate to each other on. She was prematurely flipping us off as we walked by her towards the entrance. Since Denki is an actual child, he immediately ran towards Mina, swiftly sliding into the booth. They embraced each other dramatically with a series of squeals. They pulled apart for a mutual cheek kiss, when a small flash of light connected them. 

“Ah! You bitch!” Mina exclaimed as Denki leaned against the table, chest convulsing with laughter. 

Mina began giggling reluctantly, before hovering a small bead of acid above her finger, eyeing Denki threateningly. 

“No no no, please! I’m sorry!” he sputtered. 

Mina raised her brow smugly at his pleading and evaporated the droplet. 

“Hey Shithead, I mean, Shinso.” Mina greeted casually. 

“Hey, Meanie.” I addressed her with my usual nickname for her, before sitting down.

We all looked over the menu, cracking jokes at eachother like usual. 

“Mina, when is your friend going to be here?” Denki asked. 

Oh yeah, I forgot there was supposed to be another person coming.

 “Uuuuuuuh, right now.” 

I followed Mina’s gaze to the entrance of the Diner. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I saw the same little brunette from earlier in the week. My head snapped back to Denki and Mina’s faces. They were deviously chittering to each other and tried their best not to look at me or else they’d lose all composure. I did not look back again and just fixed my eyes on the menu. I heard her footsteps approaching and realized the only seat available was next to me.

[andiandyandee]

Terrible Things

Some Sweet Logicality angst with a happy ending, because my Punk AU isn’t working rn. I’m getting to it, I promise lol.

Words: 2,705 - Find it on ao3

Okay, Here’s The Fic:

     “This is Professor Logan Balmer. He will be giving a guest lecture today on the importance of emotions. I presume you will all give him your full attention.” Virgil bristled at the name, brushing a memory too far back to actually remember in detail more than the name itself. As it were, this class was at 8 AM and no matter how familiar the name was, he couldn’t be bothered to listen to some old nerd talk about why it was important to cry it out. He had a bleeding heart dad for that anyway. So he tuned him out, doodling on his notebook, and wishing the 90 minutes would pass faster. He only looked up because someone close to him yelled out to the professor

      “What about love? Is it important too?” The professor got a soft look on his face. 

      “Yes, Love is important, but there are far too many types of love for it to be classified as a single emotion. Love can be the way a parent cares for their child, it could be the way one cares for their partner, the way someone cares for their plants, or their pets, or their books. Love can be something you earn, or it can be something that is innate. Of course, all love is important, but the love you should look for should endeavor to keep in your lives is unasked for and freely given. You should find unconditional, chaotic love and let it warp your life because it will always make you better for it, even if it hurts sometimes.”

      “Why would we want something that hurts us?” Virgil snarked. “That seems like a terrible idea.” Logan met Virgil’s eyes and smiled a little.

      “Yes, Mr. Sanders, it can certainly seem like a terrible idea.” Virgil was a little confused at that, seeing as he had not introduced himself with his name to this professor. Logan continued as if him knowing Virgil’s name was not strange in the slightest.

      “The problem is, sometimes, that knowing someone who loves you unconditionally, someone who chooses to be around you and wants nothing more than to see you happy is terrible, because they love you when you don’t deserve it, they love you when you break their heart and they love you when you break your own. They are there when you ugly cry and when you’re on top of the world and they always, without fail, show you that they love you. And it’s terrible because you have to live with the fact that that person has given you a part of them, they have put so much hope and faith and soul into loving you that you will never escape that, and even later, years after the last time you saw them, or they see you, the love will still be there.

      Maybe it’s a broken, fragile thing now, after so many years, but it’s still there in the way you can’t look at certain colors without thinking of them, how that one song always feels both like being burned alive and being safe. Maybe you never see them again, and that love withers away into a fleeting thing that only comes up in the smell of a specific pastry or a phrase so few people say that it could only ever mean them. Maybe you see them every day, but you can never bring yourself to just say hello.

      The problem is that when someone loves you like that, you will love them back. You will give them a part of your soul that nobody has ever seen, will never see, and even though they gave you a part of theirs, the same size, made of the same love, it will never quite fill the hole that was left when you gave yours away. There will always be cracks that can only be filled in with inside jokes that are just between you and ghosts, now. Between you and Polaroid pictures faded and stuck in a box in the back of the closet you never use. 

      But let that not deter you from loving. Love recklessly, impossibly so, and fill in the cracks that are left behind with gold, because it is in the cracks where we find ourselves. In the way you will never turn off their favorite song, in the way you take the long way home in fall because they loved to see the leaves change, and so did you. Let that love, the one they left with you, remind you that it is okay to feel, that you are more than your insecurities, that you are worthy of love. Let your love follow them around in your favorite colors, in the way you make your coffee, in the way you sing that song that’s always stuck in your head. Love well beyond what you think is possible, and you will find the world will love you back.” Logan took a shuddering breath and smiled at the class. “Sorry, I believe I went on a bit of a tangent, there. Were there any other questions?” Most of the class had misty eyes, all of them a little shell-shocked. “No? If that’s the case, I suppose my lecture is done. Thank you for your time.” The class filed out, but Virgil was still glued to his seat. He didn’t remember why, but he knew it was achingly important that he spoke to this professor.

      “Virgil? You may leave now,” Professor Addams gestured at the open door. “Unless there is something you need?”

      “Ah, apologies, Remy. I believe young Mr. Sanders is waiting for me. If you aren’t opposed, you can go, and I can lock the door and shut off the lights when I leave.”

      “Oh, sure, no worries Lo.” Professor Addams left, and suddenly the lecture hall felt too small. There wasn’t enough room between Logan and himself, but he still didn’t know why. 

      “I’m surprised you remember me, honestly. It’s been so many years, and so many changes.” Logan looked nervous and heartbroken. He glanced briefly over Virgil, who suddenly felt self-conscious in a way he hadn’t since before he had started transitioning. “I like the name, it suits you quite well.”

      “Thank you, I- I picked it myself.” Virgil tried to joke, but it came out a little hysterical. “I don’t- don’t actually remember you.” Logan raised an eyebrow, but he still looked incredibly sad. “Not really, nothing beyond the name, and that lecturer’s voice you use.” Virgil tucked his arms tightly around himself, trying to keep himself from crying because he didn’t know why he wanted to cry. 

      “You were very young, the last time we spoke. I’m surprised you remembered my name, though. I don’t think you ever called me by it.” The half-smile on Logan’s face was shaky, too, and he was still across the room and simultaneously entirely too close. “I believe the three nicknames I received were ‘LoLo’, ‘Papa’, and when you were particularly belligerent, ‘Mom’.” Logan said ‘belligerent’ the same way one would say ‘darling’ or ‘adorable’. Virgil couldn’t breathe. How long had it been since he had someone he referred to as a parent beyond Patton? A decade? Longer? He was suddenly slammed with the memory of fire, of a hospital room and the nurses who wouldn’t let him move, and it had been fifteen years since then, and the memory still hurt, and the stupid scar was still there on his leg, barely noticeable unless he went out in shorts, because it didn’t tan like the rest of his skin, stayed so pale it was nearly white. He looked to Logan, and then away, so he couldn’t see his face.

      “You left. You left when I was hurt, when I was in the hospital. I- we never saw you again, and Dad would never tell me where you went but I knew, I knew you were okay because he stopped wearing the ring, he took it off and put it in his jewelry box and he still cleans it every Sunday evening, and if you would have died he’d probably still wear the damn thing, he tells people he’s engaged when they flirt with him still, and I forgot that he was, because I was six when you left, and it’s been so long since then that I can’t even believe it. Your stupid lecture about the dangers of playing with the stove stuck, but you didn’t, and oh my god, you’re old now, and, and-” Virgil’s mouth snapped shut, and when he looked back to Logan, Logan, he didn’t know what to say because there were tears pouring down both of their faces, and there was still that stupid, god it was so stupid, engagement ring on his finger, and he knew it matched perfectly to the one his Dad still had, and he was so angry, now. “How could you do that to me? To us?” Logan nodded.

      “I did. I.. what I did was terrible, and foolish, certainly. And I will never forgive myself for it. I am so sorry, Virgil, for any pain I caused, had I known you were in this class beforehand I wouldn’t have agreed to teach it, I know I can never apologize enough for what I did to you, god, I don’t even know how to start, but I am so incredibly sorry, and I am so glad you are okay, now, at least I hope you are okay, and I will be sure to keep my distance, I had hoped, when I saw you, you wouldn’t remember me, I did not want to stir up those terrible memories again, I won’t endeavor to ask anything of you, you need not forgive me, but I hope you find solace in the fact that I still feel terrible.” Virgil didn’t realize until halfway through that Logan wasn’t apologizing for leaving.

      “Are- are you apologizing for the fire?” Virgil was hysterical. “Of all of the things you could apologize for, and you chose the one that wasn’t your fault?” Logan sputtered.

      “I- it was my fault, and you were nearly killed, of course, I am apologizing.” Virgil laughed, a little maniacally, moving closer to Logan, but still keeping a good ten feet between them.

      “It was not in any way your fault that I- in all of my six-year-old wisdom- tried to make cookies on a gas burner! How could you have possibly known the stove was on, or that the stupid light above it would short out? It could have happened at any time, it ended up being while we were there alone! How the hell is that on you?”

      “I didn’t notice you turning the stove on, nor did I notice the fact that the light had been flickering. I didn’t even think to check and see if I had turned all of the burners off, all I did was tell you how dangerous the stove was! I couldn’t protect you from the flames. The only thing I could do was hold you while you screamed, and keep you still while the paramedics tried to stop you from bleeding out in the driveway.” Logan’s voice broke, and Virgil was astounded. “When your father got to the emergency room, and I told him what had happened, I- he was so angry, so upset, and he was right, it was my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed. How could I ever have thought I was fit to be your parent when I couldn’t even watch you for two hours without almost-”

      “I’m fine,” Virgil assured the man, his hands fluttering, trying to comfort him but too far away. He took a few steps forward, but Logan was still frozen in place. “I was out of the hospital in less than two weeks, it barely scarred. I have never, not once, since then forgotten to turn off the burner when I was done with it. I don’t forgive you, Lo, because there’s nothing to forgive. It was an accident, and it wasn’t your fault. And anyway, you did protect me. That fire should have killed me, and probably you, too, but all it did was ruin the kitchen, melt the shit out of your ugly fake leather jacket and make one of my legs tan funny. It really looks like the only one who was really hurt was you.”  Virgil laughed. “I mean, Jesus, I wouldn’t be surprised if you still had pleather stuck in your hair.”

      “I shaved my head to get it out.” Logan croaked. “I went to the hospital across town so I wouldn’t be in the same building, so Patton wouldn’t feel compelled to talk to me. I only had second-degree burns, I was out in two days. I went to the house, cleaned everything up as best I could, ordered the new appliances to replace the ruined ones, packed my things, and left a note on the kitchen table.” Logan looked nauseated. “I left my cell phone, and moved all the money in my personal account to your fathers, and I left. Moved back to Florida, where my parents were. I stayed there until I could get a new job, and tried my best to not let the guilt consume me. I failed,  miserably, for at least 5 years before I managed to get to a place where I could go to work without having a breakdown. I still can’t use a stove. I’ve eaten nothing but microwave meals and cold food for fifteen years.” Logan laughed a little at that. Virgil snorted.

      “Dad is going to kick your ass when he hears that. You know how he is about nutrition.” 

      “Damn right, he is.” A voice from the doorway spoke up. Patton was standing there, arms crossed, blonde hair pulled into a loose bun, looking absolutely unamused. “Sorry to eavesdrop, kiddo, you were late for our lunch, so I came looking for ya.” Patton addressed Virgil with a smile before turning back to Logan. “You know, if it wasn’t for the fact that your lovely, beautiful mother assured me you were alive, I would have called the police to put out a missing person alert,” Patton spoke with a very calm, very even tone. “When I got home there was a goodbye note and a refrigerator in my dining room, and a stove on the front porch. And for seven years, the only thing that assured me you were alive was your mom calling every Sunday afternoon. And then she calls to tell me you moved back, and that she was sure you would come to visit, because you just loved us so much, how couldn’t you?” Patton shook his head. “A town of 2,000 and I never saw you, not even once.” Patton had passed Virgil, was now standing less than a foot away from Logan, a finger pressed up against his chest. “For eight years, I waited, hoping you’d come around, and I find out the only reason you didn’t was guilt?” Logan opened and closed his mouth a few times before swallowing and nodding. “I am going to beat you senseless, Logan Alexander Balmer. How could you?” Logan laughed, still crying.

      “Sanders. We had already changed it, the approval paperwork came when you were still…” Patton took Logan’s face in both of his hands. “I still use Balmer academically and professionally, though.” 

      “Absolutely senseless. I will shake you so hard that brain of yours will turn into soup.” Logan laughed again, still sounding breathless, but the tears had stopped.

      “I am sorry, Patton. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me.” Patton just shook his head.

      “Of course I forgive you, you moron. You still owe me a wedding. And I owe you a meal that wasn’t cooked in a microwave, goodness gracious what is wrong with you-”

      Logan cut Patton off by kissing him, tenderly and gently, trying to let all of his apologies pour into it. 

      “Okay, ew.”  Virgil groaned from his spot a few steps away. “Get a room.” Logan flushed red, and Patton just smiled at the both of them.

      “Let’s go home.” 

Tag List: @datfearlessfangirl @princemesscharming @illogicalthinking @holliberries

[elvencantation]

gyadl ep18 liveblog

-i’m currently dying a little inside cause i decided to keep watching and i have to see fusheng’s face as hong lan confesses her feelings to him

-WELL THATS A FUCKING LIE

-“im angry, so i take it out on you” oh wow, such a caring thing to say to the person you’re supposedly in love with

-also whats with all these sibling figures who’re in unrequited love stories with the person they literally grew up with as family??

-stupid girl, you should know by now that isnt how it fucking works

-okay... now im confused. so you know he doesnt like you, but you want to pretend there’s a chance he does? all while ruining his life?

-OH ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? HONG DAD NOW BLAMES FUSHENG FOR HIS DAUGHTER’S SPOILED BRAT BEHAVIOR THAT HE HIMSELF ENCOURAGED?

-“if my own father was alive, if he doted on me even if he scolded me, beat me, i would be happy too”

-HOW IS THIS SHOW SO CHOCK FULL OF EMOTIONALLY ABUSED KIDS

-AND BY THAT I MEAN DEAR GOD TIANYING AND FUSHENG NEED TO FUCKING GET OUT OF THERE!! I KNOW THEY WONT BUT IM RLY NOT LOOKING FOWARD TO THEIR ABUSIVE CHILDHOODS RUINING THEIR LIVES AND HAPPINESS

-yes, you really shouldnt have mentioned that it would be ‘convenient’ for lfs if you and xxc got married cause it would let tianying be free

-I SWEAR TO GOD!! ALL THE THINGS YOU COULD HAVE DONE TO HURT HIM MOST, YOU ALREADY HAVE. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU

-also how did hong lan have the time to curl her hair between when she woke up from a nap in the church to the time they walked (or rode) to wherever it is she’s staying rn

-FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, THAT IS NOT HOW THAT WORKS OH MY GOD ALSO WHY DO U THINK MAKING HER CRY OVER AND OVER IS A GOOD IDEA? YOU DONT LOVE HER, YOU JUST WANT TO POSSESS HER YOU HEARTLESS PIECE OF DONKEY DUNG

-dear fucking god tianci for once in your life shut your fucking mouth and LEAVE HER ALONE

-EX-FUCKING-CUSE ME?!!?

-this show is become such a garbage fire- i mean, i knew it was coming, and i know this is nothing in comparison to what will happen later, but DEAR GOD

-i know this is a serious moment but lfs singing for tianying made me crack up. i mean, im not rly used to that style of opera as is

-and then i realize this means he has it memorized, even down to the movements. FUCK

-i love his fingerless gloves

-and dont i just love that through his own heartbreak, lfs has to do the emotional labor of comforting both hong lan and xxc and pretending he’s okay for them

-oh honey... i dont think xxc is motivated by the same things you are- tho i am glad youre getting the chance to yell at him, he more than deserves it

-youll give up ur life for her? thats entirely unhelpful, given that when you did have her, you treated her like an object and now youre giving up without a fight

-how is he so hot i need to gif this sad little smirk thing he’s got going on

-next to z1l, xxc’s actor is such an ugly crier. even without him, honestly (no offense to the actor i just hate the character)

-NONE OF YOU ASSHOLES DESERVE HIM, MOST OF ALL YOU XU XINGCHENG

-i love that tianci conveniently calls out to her so she and lfs know he’s coming and he wont catch them unaware 😂

-hate this for luo fusheng so fucKING MUCH OKAY??? 

-your brother didnt save your fucking life- and even if he did you dont owe him LITERAL MARRIAGE?? WHAT THE FUCK

-am i gonna gif all the gifs of lfs crying and almost crying after i finish this episode? (if you thought no, you clearly dont know me very well)

-that being said, lfs’s face as he listens to them argue- dear GOD

-of course theres a dramatic motorcycle ride. i cant say i didnt enjoy the shot of him coming up behind her and deciding that hes just going to take her back, after all that, that he’s going to respect her decisions, unlike xxc

-great now EVERYONE’S miserable

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S4 Ep8 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Lowkey forgot about the fucking videotapes lololololol Also that snapshot of Choni and the dumb doll was so weird

- Not them suddenly making Alice act like this??? It’s so weird, it’s like she, out of nowhere, devoted back to season one Alice and it just… doesn’t fit at all. Also not her mom pretending she didn’t already know she was having sex with Jughead??? Chic told Alice that Betty wore the black wig when she had sex with Jughead. And besides even though Jughead will be her future step brother when Alice marries FP, at least she’s using protection so like… calm down Alice.

- I really want them to make Alice and Betty have a good relationship but like i’m also upset that they’re only mending things between them and not hashing out Betty’s multitude of problems. Oh rip to Polly and their mom’s favoritism…

- Why is he sending Archie to Ms. Burble for sleeping in class lmao I mean normally you’d go to the principal or they wouldn’t care but okay he gets his session so whatever

- Archie is still involved in football??? He hasn’t been for like three seasons though I— if Ms. Burble said “cruising Fox Forest” does that mean she’s, one, insinuating that Archie isn’t straight, and two, that she talked to Kevin and we didn’t get to see it? 

- ANYWAYS GIVE KJ THIS FUCKING AWARD OMGGGG A CRYING RN GIVE HIM THE AWWARD NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

- AW THIS IS WHEN ARCHIE SAYS HE’S MOVING OUT 😭😭😭 But I wanna know why Dodger doesn’t know that Archie is the one who saved Dodger like??? Wouldn’t Dodger know who beat him up, and tell his ugly ass sister or wife or daughter or whoever the fuck she was and leave him alone out of respect while he heals or some shit

- Archie taking her advice and setting up the hotline 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 why can’t we have Ms. Burble all the time? Like, having her randomly come in, in the middle of the season is just so weird.

- Wait, so of ALL of those things… you decide she should lose the Vixens? They have nothing to do with Cheryl’s trauma but sure, if it’ll get her to her session...

- THE TEAR WHEN CHERYL LOOKED UP MY FUCKING HEART. “Then what’s… wrong… with me…” OMG CHERYL. MADELAINE IS SO GOOD!! THE SCREAM!!! GIVE HER AN AWARD TOO!!!

- MY BABY GIRL VERONICA!!!! God she always looks good. Also when is she going to move the fuck out of this toxic household :( She deserves so much but the last time she tried she was sucked right back in because she thought she could make her dad go on the good path with her and then sit just spired into all this boring fuckery :(((((

- MS. LUNA! Ugh my smart baby girl Veronica getting into Harvard!!!! She deserves it so much, she’s so smart ❤️❤️ Oh of course this has to do with her dumb ass father……… way to ruin it smh

-  Now that I’m hearing Veronica Luna more it sounds a lot better despite me finding it weird rolling off the tongue at first.

- But finally they’re bringing all of this to fruition and making Veronica getting rid of her father in her life once and for all

- Jughead taking the candy is such a Jughead move. OMG Holden Caulfield???? JERONICA CRUMB??? WHERE SHE CALLED HIM HOLDEN CAULFIELD OMGGGG??????? Jeronica’s how we doing?

- Jughead breaking down aw bby

- JUGHEAD HUGGING HIS DAD CATCH ME CRYING!!! I love this soft Jughead I hope he’s around more often lol

- It’s so weird how they suddenly made Alice act this way, it’s not like her AT ALL. Even s1 Alice wouldn’t… it’s like some weird mix of them and it’s weird and random and I don’t like it at all. HOWEVER I’m glad she repaid Betty her money back which is like the start of them mending their relationship.

- No Archie just fucking call the police like you’re supposed to! Like Ms. Burble said nothing will happen or change overnight but c’mon :(

- Choni scenes FINALLY outside of the house and being cute we LOVE. And we miss the healthiest couple on this show! When they get back to how they were they can rule the show again 🥺❤️

- I’m not entirely sure why this face off between Veronica and Hiram actually seems interesting because it’s basically the exact same thing… but maybe it’s because she’s going to try and stay on her path and keep away from her father. Anyways FINALLY SHE CAN HAVE AN INTERESTING STORYLINE AGAIN!!!!

- Of course it’s Donna and Brett who are pointing out Betty, Archie, and Veronica as the killers… WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU DONNA. WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU. 

- Why does Alice have a knife??? I know it’s probably not real because somehow that vibe I got was the same one when Betty saw the twins floating so um… anyways… now back to reality where this show makes it over the top for now reason and way too much as to where it’s boring as fuck.

- So, conclusion time… this episode was actually REALLY good and it felt like a breath of fresh air, but it felt… out of place. Like, making Alice suddenly act ooc because this entire season she’s been really good and got along with Betty (which obviously doesn’t take away what she has done to Betty previously) but out of nowhere she’s all uptight and some weird au version of s1 Alice????? The second thing I wish was different was how short the sessions are. All of them of course would need like episodes to divulge it all but it felt too… rushed. And knowing that after this we’ll go back to bat shit crazy just… sucks. It’s like after the bizarrodale episode (which was one of the best as we all know because * * * *) we went back to regular and it sucked ass that there’s so much potential they’re wasting on * and ** and shit

And while I like that they allowed Betty to tell her mom everything she’s wanted to for the past few seasons, why didn’t they focus on Betty at all? Betty has been through so much shit and has done awful things and she’s just as manipulative as her mother but without anyone calling her out on it, she’s not going to change so like… I wish they could have scrounged up enough time to give Betty her own small little session before Alice came into the room or something. But whatever maybe one day Ms. Burble will come back and do this stuff again.

[szopenhauer]

where were you 2 hours ago? in the local store do you kiss a lot of people? I kissed only one person in my entire life

are you wearing socks right now? ... no

have you bought any clothing items in the last week? yes

one thing you hate about yourself? my chronic illnesses mostly

what do you know about the future? we will all die, sooner or later

do you have a tan? slightly, on my arms

what day is tomorrow? Sunday 

are you dating someone? yes

why? because of many reasons

using your current first initial choose a different name for yourself. Zefiryna  or Zyta if polish what piece of furniture have you replaced the most? hmm... dunno, I’m not rich enough to replace my furniture

what do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? candies are overrated in general what is broken that you have, that you wish was fixed? my body  line from the last thing you wrote to someone? jak uważasz

Have you ever wondered what you look like when you’re sleeping? yeah ^^” Do you put your friends or family first? my parents and my S.O. Do you have bad allergies? ugh... Are your parents proud of you? there’s nothing to be proud of Would you ever be your school’s mascot who wears that costume? I could Is/was your school full of fakes? obvi What age did you start staying home alone? I’m not sure tbh but late

Would you rather see the Great Wall of China or Big Ben? Big Ben because I’d prefer to visit England and not China Ice Ice Baby or U Can’t Touch This? both XD

Can you do a handstand? used to Do you own any shirts that are yellow? several What’s a brand of shoe you like, but wouldn’t buy a pair? creepers for example Would you like to live in a cottage home? yup but I won’t

Are you comfortable with your height? wish I was a bit taller Last text received?

Are you afraid of heights? not really

Were you happy when you woke up today? I was glad I could sleep almost 10 hours Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? few times hahaha Do you curse in front of your parents? oh well ^^” Are you slowly drifting away from someone close? ... What are you listening to right now? iamamiwhoami  How is the weather right now? warm Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing? I don’t recall Do you use chapstick? ewww, gross How long do you think you will live? not much longer How’s your life going lately? no comment Have you ever had to get your blood drawn? countless times What is the most important thing to you? health that I don’t have Who was the last person you high fived? someone close to me Who hugged you last? parent Why do you feel the way you feel? where should I start... When was the last time you went shopping? this day as I already mentioned Are you liking how you look today? it’s ok Do you hate when they give a lot of tv commercials? especially when they repeat  Are you a very stressed out person? that I am 

Do you hate when people stare at you for no reason? awkward Which color is better? Red, Blue, Green, Black, or Yellow? definitely not red and blue *said a person who is wearing this today:

*I also hate pink, you will never understand me  Are you good at hiding your feelings? can be but what for Is anyone annoying you right now? not rn Did you cry today? not so far When was the last time you had a sleepover? years ago Do you like taking pictures? kinda Don’t you hate that when it’s freezing cold outside your eyes get teary? that’s awful

Have you ever trespassed? it wasn’t a big deal Do you tell your parents where you are going? basics at least Can you give a good back massage? been told 

Did you ever mix up the words “message” & “massage”? possibly Are there any other words you get mixed up? there are  Do you think women should hold open doors for men, too? why not, it’s nice to be helpful Do you raise your hand or participate in class? umm... I had my moments Would you ever spend the night in a treehouse? doubt it? What do you think of people who own wild animals? hard to tell If a book was written about your life, what would be in the summary? no idea  Are you good at explaining things, in general? I try my best to be straightforward and turn out being misunderstood If your friend had a drug-problem would you abandon them? I might, sorry Has a friendship ever ended over similar reasons? I wasn’t in a situation like this before Do you like window shopping?  fun Do you mind lending money to your friends? I’m poor What, to you, is the best part of traveling? souvenirs Do you like to try new things? very rarely Does it bother you if someone talks bad about you? gossips/lies bother me

What time of day feels the most magical to you? sunrise and evening/night? Does your head hurt right now? bardziej mi się kręci w głowie po prostu Is your hair wet right now? dry Have you ever dreamt of being a famous athlete? I had a night dream about being an athlete ore than once but I dislike sports  Do you have a rich friend that you’re jealous of? whoops you got me Are you interested in a girl who has a girlfriend? that girlfriend is me muahahaha Do most of the guys who like you annoy you? omg truth (I’m a lesbian though) but majority of society annoys me (especially men) so... What musical do you think you could play the lead in? Cats if I had talent What medical conditions do you have? what medical condition I don’t have... Do you wear leggings often? everyday Are you responsible in general? I avoid responsibilities  Would you consider yourself mature? not enough, I’m childish  Can you reach your ceiling? me?... Do you have a reading nook? I’m a librocubicularist Who is the cutest baby you know? babies ain’t cute  *weird fact - I think those with Down syndrome are prettier - is that offensive?

What makes you nauseous? I constantly feel nauseous

Someone walks into your room, what do they notice first the amount of plushies

When you have sex, do you keep your eyes closed or open when finishing I tried to keep them closed, I’m embarassed If I stepped into your shower, what is the first item I would notice who knows

How many times a day do you think you sneeze it’s not a daily thing to me Your phone rings but you don’t know the number, would you answer it if I wait for a call like from hospital etc. How many cars have you actually owned 0 Do you always take a shower after you have sex no When you wash your hair in the shower to you face the faucet or away:. face Would you let the girl pay on the first date if she really wanted to split or else I just feel ashamed Have you ever had a friend who preferred the same sex I’m that friend ha! What was the name of the last alcohol you consumed that got you trashed not applicable Do you let your girlfriend drive, or do you prefer to we don’t drive The last time you had sex was it in the morning, afternoon or night afternoon

Are you afraid of stink bugs? they’re harmless :o Do you have a printer? but we don’t use it What is the closest thing to you that’s yellow? pencil  Does anyone own any embarrassing pictures of you? I’m ugly on all photos... Do you care what others say about you? who and what? Are you into anime? blergh Name one movie that has made you cry more than once. ex. Five feet apart When is your father’s birthday? Mother’s? next year *my father is a Pisces and my mother is an Aquarius like me  no more info for ya! Are you a sarcastic person? very Do you overthink things? 24/7, every single detail, even from ages ago Are you naturally paranoid? would say so

What was the last song you listened to? Lola Marsch - Echoes

Which is more important in your life, TV or Internet? internet, I don’t watch TV and I’d even choose net over movies if I had to Do you overuse smileys? gifs :P When was the last time you ate something? an hour ago *but I fill out this survey for couple of hours  Have you seen all of the Jaws movies? I haven’t seen any of ‘em Do you know what Entomophobia is? had to google it When was the last time you played cards? (not on the computer) months ago Ever owned a pair of the original Nikes? (white, with only a single swoosh) not my type of shoes Ever worn leg warmers? yes, I still have several pairs  When was the last time you read a book over 700 pages long? never, I only written over 700 pages Have you ever had a black eye? nope, just bags under my eyes

How do you mark through your word search puzzles? I cross them with my pen Do you hate people who ask a lot of questions? I enjoy questions but... Have you ever seen a roll of bluish-green toilet paper? yep Can you name five ‘z’ words off the top of your head? besides my name? in english or polish? If a rooster laid an egg on the peak of a roof which side would it roll to? roosters don’t lay eggs

[serendibidibidis]

I’m lactose intolerant but this is really fucking cheesy…

Okay so in America it’s thanksgiving today & I’m gonna use that as an excuse to shower some amazing people with the love they deserve okay. (Also please don’t think like “oh I’m last on the list I’m the least fave..” Or something because I’m deadass doing this at random)

☆♡☆♡

@ssamdominic : so you may or may not know this but you follow me on one of my other blogs scandalous and as I was deciding if I should leave or not you sent in a requst / really nice ass message for me and you are the reason I didn’t leave that blog. You are the reason I still create content even when I doubt myself… I am forever grateful for you and I will always support you because you have always supported me. You seriously are such a sweetheart I can’t even put into words my love for you.

@8bityeol : god you are fucking great.. I love you so much OML you’re just great. Your content is high fucking quality. I always read your stories when I need to distract myself from life I always can rely on your work to make my life better. you’re also the biggest Angel ever. I mean seriously how are you so sweet? I just

@wonpillily : thank you for always letting me send you pics to increase your heart rate. I love that we share such beautiful content with each other and can fangirl together. I forever cherish you!! Not to mention the fact your humor is fucking priceless..

@brownpigment : even when we go months without talking we always can just come back and pick up like we’ve been talking non-stop. I mean you’re one of those people who it’s so easy to connect with and it’s such an honor to talk to you. And ugh your works are something I always look forward too. You can’t help but love them.

@forvictorymyeverything : don’t even get me started. You seriously are my fave. I just i have no words. I love everything you do. I love your existence. I always feel so honored whenever you tag me (even when it’s on fucking biases) I just i feel like we’re in two different classes (you obviously being high class) and then you’re just like ‘let me *an angel tag this peasent (that is I) because I’m deadass just great and I love making peasants feel valuable’

@ludeere : literally as I’m typing this you’re sending me the nicest messages and I’m sobbing you’re an amazing writer please never give up on that. You seriously are so talented and pure and I just I’m really sorry I never came across your blog sooner because I’ve been missing out. You seriously just wow.. Your works blow me away & yeah I’m already an emotional wreck but holy shit they make me so emotional I just can’t function.. Like?! I literally read the Simon as your bf one and was full out ugly crying and that was a cute scenario like don’t get me started on the angst.

@day6ibnida : HOLY SHIT you’re SO TALENTED LIKE YOU LITERALLY DRAW SO BEAUTIFULLY AND I CAN’T HANDLE IT. We haven’t talked in a while because we’ve both been so busy.. I hope you’re taking good care of yourself.. Honestly I hope you decide to sell your art someday so I can buy it. Because I need that in my life. I want your drawings tattooed on me. Like they’re so great. I can’t wait to talk to you and catch up on everything..

@tinytaehyun : you believed in me when so many others didn’t. You gave me a chance when others were against it. You push me to go out of my comfort zone as a writer and I can never thank you enough for that. You don’t know how much our conversations mean to me. My whole day is made when I see you’ve responded. Time zones fucking suck but I’d stay up all night to hear about how things are going. I’m so proud of you for everything you’ve gone through and over come. #proudmom

@mybrainsamess : I haven’t really known you too long. But I am so glad I met you. Honestly you have brightened my week since I met you. I am extremely excited to get to know you even more.. you’re far too good for this work and I hope that you always have a smile on your face. (Also I just realized your url I thought it was like 'my brain Sam ess’ and I’m just over here like is that forgien or something?)

@thecoolmrsokamura15 my lovely Peach 🍑 I am so very sorry at how bad I am at responding to you. You deserve better. I will try harder to respond to you and not be a shitty friend… but I am so thankful for you. You we’re the first kpop friend I made that made me feel welcomed… I felt accepted and that I could be honest and not be be judged. You made me feel like I belong.. i can’t thank you enough.

@soul-less23 : where do I even start with you?! You are absolutely stunning, your work puts me to tears it’s so beautiful. you’re such a kind soul. I don’t know how but you’ve helped me get over my anxiety with driving. You are seriously such an Angel I don’t even have words. Minus the fact we have a conversation about dead cats rn

Y'all literally mean the world to me and I love you so much. Like all of you are just the best. I’m so lucky to have met you.

Also I want to thank a few people who I’ve noticed in my notifs a lot lately.

@pendulumandthepoet , @foodie-for-life , @thatartsyfreak , @akr2001 , @brownskinnedbeautie I want to thank you all for the constant love and support you give my blog. I hope you know that just because I don’t know you doesn’t mean I don’t notice you and care for you. I look forward to what my future brings thanks to you, I feel like I could update paint drying and you would still support my page. Please stay healthy and happy.

[briteboy]

using the new tag “sunny answers” for these anon ask compilations as per request of an anon who actually enjoys going through these posts! this one’s 4 u bb 💕

omg there’s a lot of questions here, more than i thought there’d be. rando story stuff, leftovers from the Trans Fiasco (and no i will 100% NOT be answering anymore questions about it after this, aside from the non-anons who already messaged me about it), and some astrology questions towards the end! enjoy

I seriously love & understand santi's mind but at the same time I feel so bad for Lou (I love her more ok) and I just wanna hug her and grant all her wishes and fill her void and give her 9999 amazing lovers Idk SANTI Y U LIKE THIS hahahaha ok sorry your story is my bible basically. Other than Ramona to live for Lou needs someone that stays LOU NEEDS HAPPINESS!!!!!

9999 AMAZING LOVERS LMAO will u be the 10,000th tho...that is the question. i think we all relate to santi, so much in fact that his actions are infuriating because it’s like WHYYY but then i’m like oh wait i do dumb shit too when i’m sad/in pain. he still dumb tho she does need happiness, and hopefully she will find it in this story ;__;

I'm so hyped for everything happening w your sims omg! Like I'm so so excited about Lou's story and her family (which I sent asks about before btw so that tells you) and I'm so excited about Rooney and Gianni and bby Ramona going to Japan (which is literally my fav country so my love for you and your blog just deepens with every second) and Santi just getting better somewhere (where? We don't know. And I think that's the beauty of it) I just ugh. Love your blog

OMGGGG AHHHDSGJHD THIS EXCITES ME SO MUCH THANK YOOOOUUUU I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED!!! i hope you enjoyed her family reveal today, there is much to still divulge in that area so strap the f*ck in. i have a really clear vision of what i want their japan experience to look like and hopefully it translates into the sims!! who freaking knows tho. i’m glad you’re looking forward to it either way. and yeah who tf knows where santi is right now. “going home” my ASS!! but yeah it is all beautiful in a way ;-; thank you so much my love for u deepens every second i reread this message, you’re so sweet ;__;

(TFB anon again aaaa) OKAY SO i could be wrong because you know him much better than i do obvioisly, but Grand Finale from the new album is giving me some santi vibes rn MMMMMM

HEY!!! i finally listened to the album and honestly...idk how i feel about it BUT i actually did like grand finale, and now that i’m listening to it again i can definitely sense the santi vibes!! (he has been listening to it nonstop since it came out ok) i love that u thought of him ;__; 

I got a retail job two weeks ago. And I hate it. I keep telling myself it’ll get better and then it just gets worse. It’s my first job and I just don’t know what to do. Any advice?

oh god. i don’t wanna be a downer but i don’t have much advice for this, retail SUUUUCKS. working in retail opens your eyes to just how stupid, helpless and annoying people can be. it’s not pretty. it CAN get better if you have coworkers you genuinely enjoy spending time with, who can lessen the burden of your responsibilities. joking around can help a lot, so if you’re not friends with them already, try to be!! just talk to them and i’m sure a relationship will grow. also remember it’s not the end of the world if this job doesn’t work out for you. you can find a new one, and you probably will at some point in the future. i’m gonna point you towards @essiesims because she works in retail so she probably has some words of wisdom for you...hopefully...be nice essie

I just realized my new haircut looks exactly like Fiona's hair and I'm 10x happier with it

GOOD!!! i love her hair, mine is sort of like it right now, messy and short lmao. if bby fiona makes you feel more confident by all means OWN dat haircut, you’re sexi

Can I ask if you watch Dan Howell? Bc his new video about his depression actually broke me and I need someone to hug

no i don’t but i googled him and my first thought was “OHH that’s the dan guy who’s gay with phil or whatever” i honestly don’t know who they are but i’ve seen a lot of gifs of them. i’m sorry his vid made you sad :{ U CAN HUG ME I’M ALWAYS HERE FOR U

I just wanted to let you know that I think you're absolutely amazing, and so creative, and your stories are beautiful. I have loved everything you've created, and you're sims are all so beautiful, and the stories are so heart-wrenching, and so well written, and I'm just so absolutely obsessed. I have your notifications on, and I get so excited every time I see you've posted something. :D Keep working hard, and be happy :)

omg ;____________; thank you so soso much ur gonna make me CRY i create everything for myself, but it makes it all feel 1000x more worth it to know it’s affected you this way and you’re enjoying it so much. my heart hurts in the best way. the fact that you have your NOTIFS ON FOR ME OMG i’m so sorry that i probably spam you so much with random asks and stuff. you’re probably like “when will this b*tch shut up” lmfao no but really this is so kind and sweet and it makes me feel warm inside, thank you so much <333

Can I get a link to your story in Chrono order? I'm on my phone and I'm not quite sure how to do it on here ^^'

here u go, or if you can’t click on it, copy and paste this: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono as a general rule, you can go to any tag and add “/chrono” (no quotation marks) at the end and it’ll take you to the beginning.

hi femme! im sorry this is from older posts but how did you get ramona to look the way she did as a baby? thanks in advance!

hello i explained that here!

DEMI GIRL REPRESENTATION YES ILY

HELL YEAH ILY TOOOO

But if you were cisphobic you have a phobia of like a veeeery big part of the population o.o??? Still don't understand that ist even a thing

true! the reason cis people hold the must power in this equation is due large in part to the fact that they are a huge part of the population. so yeah it’s definitely not a thing.

What's cisgender??? Never heard of that

me neither tbh (but if ur not being sarcastic, here)

I love you sunny. Just so you know

Hey Sunny I love you 💕

HEY I LOVE YOU TOOOOO (you both sent this during the Trans Fiasco, and i fully appreciate your kindness in that bleak time)

yikes that anon was obnoxious as hell

this was also during the Trans Fiasco and yeah u right!

What mod do you use to make your sims taller? 😊

this one!

mom why does love hurt so much 😥

no one knows mi childe but i am here for u

^^ me goin after whoever hurt u

I literally just had such a bad nightmare I woke up, scared myself when I tried to reach for my phone and instead accidentally groped my poodle; which resulted in a panic attack. It’s 5am. Please help. I can obviously not take care of myself

GROPED YOUR POODLE OHMDFHOGODFSG I’M SO SORRY POODLE that sucks tho i’m so sorry about the nightmare and the poodle and the panic attack and EVERYTHING, that’s not fun :{ hopefully you got some rest and calmed down since you sent this. if not come to my house we can have a sleepover i will take care of u

I also have a large bra size (32H) and I'm still young so it's still growing.

OH WOOW ARE U OKAY BECAUSE I HAVE A DIFFICULT ENOUGH TIME HAVING DD’S

@that anon - not all trans ppl even experience dysphasia just admit Defeat

right! i think u meant dysphoria tho. maybe. unless you’re talking about something i don’t know about. but yeah you’re right, every trans person is different. a lot of them do want to change things about themselves, but not all.

hey im goin through an assholes blog and reblogging their posts with confusing internet funnyman comments, saw hate for your blog and decided to send you some support. keep doing what you love with your characters and content ❤❤ -♌🌿

LMAO HEY LEO LEAF were u going through that rando dude’s blog when the Trans Fiasco was happening? because there was some super weird ass blog dedicated to reblogging posts from nonbinary folks and people talking about nonbinary shit and just telling them they’re wrong and transphobic for not believing in the gender binary lmao...so anyways...if that’s not what ur talking about tho i’m sorry i just filled ur ears with that nonsense anyway thank you for this message, it’s so sweet ;__; sorry i didn’t answer it right away, i was recovering from the amount of ugly anons i was getting lmao. thank you for supporting me, ily <333

More Avey pls she's the light of my life

ASDFJHHJKSD SHE WILL APPEAR MUCH MORE JUST TO MAKE THE TROLLS MAD OKAY I LOVE U 💕💕

If another dumbass anon messages you about some silly shit regarding transgenders I’m going to scream. No. Not every trans person wants to transition physically— and no they don’t all want to stereotypical versions of whatever gender they identify with. I know a trans-male that wears makeup and twirls in dresses, and I know a trans-female that loves being a butch lesbian. Personally. I am glad that you’ve chosen to go the route that you have with your character. Fuck the ditsy assholes.

HEY I LOVE YOU AND THIS MESSAGE SO MUCH THANK YOU <33333 ur right, fuck them, they’re ugly anyway

Hey so I'm not like these other anons, I'm asking this as someone has next to no experience with trans people and actually wants to be educated instead of attack you. So if there are some trans people who don't transition and are comfortable with how they look, what exactly makes them uncomfortable with their birth gender?

a number of things, mainly just their discomfort with the category they’ve automatically been placed in from birth. but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to change their body or dress a certain way.

I just wanna applaud you for handling the anons so calmly because I know for certain if they sent me that shit, my trans ass would have acted differently.

LMFAO omg i’m glad you thought i was being calm because i was like “well i guess it’s time to let out my bitchy side” thank you tho, i’m grateful you understand <3

I'm so sorry that Nonnie was such an ass! I wish we had more people speaking up and saying it loud like you did! It was pretty obvious that person has issues that a Tumblr post won't fix but it was nice to see you put them in there place :)

lmao yeah, after a few questions from them i figured it was just pointless. people like that don’t learn even if you’re trying to explain it to them calmly. they just always want to be right by alienating others, and they don’t even realize what they’re doing most of the time. it’s sad really, but i tried my best (and also tried my best not to unleash all my rage lmao) thank you <3

how can Ramona be sooo cute as a toddler?? like how? whats the secret

vitamins

lmao but really IDK i experimented a lot with her face at first and making a custom skin for her definitely helped too. :~}

/post/166031605558/the-pros-cons-of-dating-my-sim-ciarasia *gives Fiona a Beetlejuice & Ghostbusters and a Dexter dolls and stuffed animals and dolls verisons* I like Fiona I think we could get along with each other *gives Lou her fav kind of band shirts and starts counting her freckles* I don't think I'm gonna go mad trying to count

THIS IS SO SWEET AFKJDSKJNGJKLDLGD YOU’RE THEIR SOULMATE i’m gonna write u into the story now u made it

 I know a girl with heterochromia and she also has two different ear shapes. Sometimes I feel like she was meant to be a twin but she absorbed the other one lol. I feel like a weirdo sorry bye.

UR NOT A WEIRDO!!! omg that is funny tho, and very interesting. i wonder if a lot of ppl with heterochromia eyes are like that, with other two different body parts. i’m the twin she absorbed

if you're still doing astrology posts, I'm a Sun-Aries, Moon-Leo and Rising- Scorpio! I'm slowly getting into astrology but i still don't know what that means lol

OOOH SPICY flaming hot cheetos

aries + scorpio are both ruled by mars and then leo is ruled by the sun so holy heck you are probably WAY OUT THERE and by that i mean super outgoing probably, but maybe your scorp rising makes you a bit withdrawn and secretive, so people have to get close to you before they really see you come out. leo moon is one of my favorite placements because it’s so weird, but often i find leo moons can be even more exuberant than leo suns. you probably have a flair for dramatics and love attention even though you might deny it. you really march to the beat of your own drum, but be careful not to be condescending to others about it!!

oh my god all of this astrology stuff is so interesting! idk if you're still doing them, but if you are i'd love to hear about mine: virgo sun, scorpio moon and scorpio rising :) it's totally okay if you're sick of doing these and i'm in no rush to get an answer!

oooooh my mom and beyonce both have virgo sun/scorp moon combos. that’s how u know it’s a good one even tho it seems scary. i find that virgos often have the potential to be very in charge and domineering, but a lot of them bury that potential because they don’t realize they have it inside themselves, and so they let people walk all over them. especially with a scorpio moon, you crave intensity in all forms: through your emotions, relationships, deepest, darkest thoughts, you feel them so powerfully that sometimes it’s too scary and overwhelming for you. learn to trust in that instead of being scared and you will open a new door in your life, especially in combination with your virgo sun, whose inclination is to learn new things and get to the bottom of every mystery. with a scorpio moon AND rising, you are actually that mystery. you might spend a lot of time trying to figure out yourself, but don’t get too introspective because that leads to overthinking and self deprecation.

hey yo i don't need you to do the thing but I'd just like to inform you that i'm a pisces sun leo moon...which is the strangest combo but totally makes sense for my personality. i don't know what any of the other stuff is lmao. but i got a book on astrology so i'm going to learn

OMG i love that combo...it is really weird but somehow the two suit each other. lou and my bff are actually leo sun/pisces moons (so opposite from you lmao, but that’s the reason i like those signs together!) leos have a very active imaginations and pisces just exacerbates that. i feel like in terms of boldness and outgoing nature, it could go either way for you. since pisces suns are usually more understated and quiet, that could fit you. but i often find that leo moons with literally any other placements will make you quite outgoing, sometimes obnoxious. so maybe you flip flop between shyness and outgoingness, especially since pisces focuses on adaptability anyway. 

omg yay yes learn all the things!! report back to me if u find out any cool stuff

I don't know if you're still doing this but if you are please do my birth chart, Virgo sun, Taurus moon, and Rising Sagittarius (if you're not doing them anymore it's fine

oh dang u earthy as F*CK. i would hate to get on your bad side, you are probably stubborn as hell and refuse to move from any position you hold. your sagittarius rising also probably makes you warm and inviting but competitive as heck. these are the two earth signs that i actually think go with sag really well! for some reason they always have a weird connection. i’ve talked about it a bit before. you are probably super chill and people like to hang out with you because you just do nothing and be homebodies but still have a good time. you might be prone to worry and restlessness, but listen to your intuition that tells you to calm down and focus on taking things slow.

Okay so I'm apparently a Leo sun, Scorpio moon and a Leo ascendant. What does this even mean help me lmao

OOH WOW ANOTHER SPICY BOY...honestly the first word that came to mind was “battleborn”. lmao you’re probably always looking for something/someone to keep up with your pace and stimulate your needs, and you probably get discouraged a lot because no one can ever match your wild personality. you can probably be overbearing without even realizing, and because of that, not many people can handle you. like i said before, scorpio moons crave intensity, and leos are already intense in their own way, so these two signs (especially the double leo influence) just really kinda egg each other on. so be careful not to get too carried away with doing The Most all the time.

[r-o-se]

Produce 101 Season 2 Ep 7 lit lit lit 92 point running commentary 

hey whats up squad fam id link where I watched it but it was like 4 different sources so I’m sorryyyyy message me and ask for them later

1.      They’re jumping right into it and its BTS Spring Day stage all are pastely beige pink and its cute af this is the youngest group on average and has the small Woojin, Kim Youngjin, Kenta, Seonho and Bae Jinyoung

2.      Younjin wants to be center/main vocal eventho hes originally a rapper and I understannd WHY he wants it but to have a rapper as main vocal is…… not clever

3.      Holy shit he actually gets to be the main vocal wow I’m shook as hell

4.      Seokhoon is making angry eyes at him tho and now Woojin is a shitton better at this checkup and gets to be the new center

5.      He has problems hitting the high note though poor baby

6.      Baejy gets praised by BoA and he gets cute and smiley as fuck its adorableeeeee

7.      SEONHO IS PLAYING PIANO IM PROUD OF MY LIL BABY BIRD

8.      Baby Woojin didn’t fully hit the note but he didn’t fully miss ti either so its okkkk

9.      Kenta got literally 0 personal screentime though mnet fucking hates him this boy is a GEM you could make so much clips out of him but nooooooooo

10.   Seonho made kissy faces at the camera and Guanlin cringed so hard it was beautiful

11.   Seonho got first aaaahahahha it’s the piano and the visuals but can we just remember the fact that the kid is only what 15? 16? He’s fuckin SMALL

12.   Now the next stage is N Sync-Pop aka the group with one dancer and a bunch of other professions since they got filled also………… WOODAM IS HERE IM SO FUCKING EMO POOR KID

13.   They also got Sangbin, Jung Jung, Insoo, Kiwon, Jaechan and Woodam obviously. Jung Jung is the only og dancer there

14.   I’m very sad about Woodam but I wanna see others too like please…… I miss Sangbin and Insoo… Show them too they literally choreographed the whole thing and GOT PRAISED FOR IT…. And their teamwork was called the best they had seen IM SO GLAD

15.   But their team is all very low numbers it makes me really really sad ugh

16.   Their clothes are so 90s I LOVE IT HOW CUTE

17.   They all dance so well especially for a group of people who aren’t actually dancers

18.   SANGBINI IS SO GOOD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH FUCK

19.   Junghung unzipped his sweater and flipped around OBVIOUSLY

20.   Everyone are clapping in circles aaahahahahah round of applause LITERALLY

21.   Oh my gooooosh WOODAM HAS ASTHMA POOR BABY KID

22.   If Woodam won’t make it I’m going to riot

23.   SANGBIN IS LAST AGAIN LAST HERE AND LAST IN THE GROUP EVALUATION WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT JUSTICE FOR SANGBIN HES A RANK AND INDIVIDUAL TRAINEE AND AN EXCELLENT RAPPER FUCKING VOTE FOR HIM ASSES

24.   NOW ITS TIME FOR A-TOM, EUIWOONG AND MY PINK RAPPER FLUFF WOO JINYOUNGGGGGGGGG THEY ARE DOING

25.   Ajlahlskadf they asked Jinyoung ‘whos the best’ and hes like ahh everyone are good in their own way and they they asked again from Sanggyun and he’s like ‘I’m the best lol’

26.   Wait is this the stage where Ha Minho was…….. because lmao they really did a good job editing him out I’m dead ‘they can’t edit better evil editing isn’t a thing’ MY GUY THEY DELETED A GUY WHO WON A BATTLE!!  WITHOUT IT EVEN BEBING NOTICED IF WE DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS THERE!! GODDAMN

27.   Jinyoung is the centerrrrrrrr love my babe but obvi I’m sad for Sanggyun

28.   Also yall Minho won this battle with an Mnet diss

29.   Sanggyun has problems coming up with lyrics poor babe I hope he’s alright OH NO BABY MESSED UP HIS WORDS TWICE

30.   KAKLKFNAWKNN MINHO IS BLURRED OUT ON STAGE WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY

31.    SANGGYUN AND EUIWOONG GOT PRAISEDDDDDDD AND OBVI WOOJY TOO IM SO PROUDDDDD

32.   THEIR STAGE IS SO GOOD THE ENERGY IS SO GOOD WHAT THE FUCK THEY ALL ON FIRE AS FUCK

33.   Cheetah is feeling herself big time

34.   Euiwoong looks so much better here than with the BIL team he looked like a fetus there but rn HES FUCKIN AMAZING

35.   Imagine ranking 4th out of 3 people wow that seems like something that would happen to me lmao poor Euiwoong

36.   A group with no first place how tragic

37.   ITS TIMEEEEEE OFR RHYTHM TA  ok but why choose the same song for two years in a row lol

38.   This team is Gwanghyun, Yoojin and Taewoo

39.   Yoojin hated being a leader back in Be Mine days and now he’s stuck again because Gwanghyun and are submissive fucks

40.   GWANGHYUN IS NERVOUS AND WENT TO ASK JINYOUNG FOR HELP THIS IS SO CUTE AND JINYOUNG BABE GAVE HIM ADVICE INSTEAD OF SENDGIN A RIVAL AWAY

41.   This groups teamwork is seriously amazing I love it so much their dynamic is so amazing

42.   Their energy is so good they sereiously seemed to just fuckin get such a high out of being on stage

43.   Poor Baby Yoojin is last, Taewoo is second and Gwanghyun got first poor baby is crying and the others are cheering him up this is so sweet

44.   BoA Amazing kiss is up next with Dongsu, JELLY HEESEOK WHO I HAVENT SEEN IN WEEKS LOVE YOU BABE DO WELL, Seunghyuk and Gunhee. Gunhee is the leader yet they have problems choosing the center

45.   THEIR VOCALS ARE ALL SO GOOD WHAT THE FUCK GUNHEE IS AMAZING

46.   Heeseok really wants to be center and is being kind of pushy but in the end Gunhee got the center part too

47.   THEIR HARMONIES ARE SO GOOD

48.   AND VOCALS SO STRONG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

49.   Gunhee looks………. So good…….. I cant take it…… with the choker and everything just fuck me upppp

50.   Jahldfhaan gunhee shook his ass on stage while appealing time

51.   Gunhee is bringing up Hyunwoo too goddamn im weakhearted don’t do this to me

52.   Heeseok got last place….. I’m emo as fuck…… fuckin stab me…… My Jellyfish son…. Seunghyuk is third, Dongsu second and Gunheeeeeeeeee is FIRST!!! Proud of my kid

53.   Now its I.O.I Downpour team, Hyunbin, Jisung, Minhyun, Jaehwan and Sungwoon aka ALL THE KIDS I LOVE!!!!

54.   They chose Jisung as leader my babe looks so good with purple hair GOD BLESS

55.   Sungwoon is so pretty godddamnit ‘I’ve heard it often I’m not good enough for main vocal’ I’ll beat up whoever said it

56.   HE IS GIVING UP MAIN VOCAL TO JAEHWAN!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! WHAT AN ANGEL!!!!!!! I’M SHOOK!!!!!

57.   Hyunbin got a lot of hate and I’m very salty over it I love my tall boy very much SAME GOES TO JISUNG!!!! THAT KID HASN’T DONE A SINGLE THING WRONG HE IS SO SWEET AND SO INSPIRING AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH MMO BETTER FUCKING DEBUT HIM WITH THE MMO SQUAD ONCE ITS DONE!!!!!!

58.   Hyunbin messed up a bit and Jisung comforted him poor lil baby I’m so sorry for my tall child and thank you so much Jisung for taking care of my baby kid

59.   Anyways they asked if they can change and having Jaehwan play guitar instead of having the teachers play piano

60.   Minhyun looks so fine in pastel pink fuck me up

61.   Cut to Baekho and Jonghyun lookin like ‘damn right’

62.    JAEHWANS VOICE DOES THINGS TO ME I DIDN’T EVEN SEE ITS HIM BUT WHEN HIS VOICE STARTED I GOT SHIVERS SAME WITH SUNGWOON I LOVE MY POWER VOCAL CHILDREN

63.   Oh my fucking god everyone in the crowd and the other trainees AND HYUNBIN are all bawling

64.   JAEHWANS VOCALS SAVED MY LIFE! FUCKING G O S H THIS IS SO EMOTIONAL I DON’T EVEN KNOW THE LYRICS BUT I FEEL LIKE CRYING

65.   Sakjfbakjsablkfjn Hyunbin and Jisung are holding hands

66.   Hyunbin is 5th and Jisung takes his hand and comforts him a lot and tells him it’s okay this is too precious and Jisung himself is 4th and Sungwoon third, Minhyun second and JAEHWAN FIRST HE DESERVED IT BEST FUCKING VOCALS IN THIS ENTIRE SHOW IF HE WONT MAKE IT I AM RIOTING!!!!!!

67.   Jinwoo ranked super low in vocals……. I’m so fucking sad when will people learn to appreaciate true talent…..

68.   Gunhees mouth can open so wide its amazing honestly also HE GOT OVERALL VOCAL FIRST PLACE IM SO PROUD!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!! BABE!!!!!!!!!! U DESERVED IT U WERE A GREAT CENTER AND LEADER

69.   Now its only the dance teams left starting with Gete Ugly. The subber seems to love him and tbh same bless Danik

70.   Ong is so fuckin funny I love him lmao

71.   It’s Daniels team and he’s like ‘I’m sorry I was a bad leader’ and Ong is like nah fam ALSO FUN FACT REVEALED BY ONG Jonghyun inspired him to be the leader this is so fuckin cuteeeeee

72.   Afnhlna what is going on why are they showing them in the result room before the stage I’m????

73.   This team has all of the alpha bitches like seriously Jihoon, Samuel, Ong, Daniel, Hyungseob are 1st, 2nd, 4th, 5th and 6th and then poor baby Park Woojin is 24th.

74.   Awwwwwwwwww the populars are all thinking that Woojin could kill it this is so cute

75.   Danik is the MMO maknae apparently and volunteered and FUCK SUNGWOO JUST SAID JONGHYUN INSPIRED HIM TO BE THE LEADER MY SORRY SORRY AND ONGNIEL HEART CANT TAKE IT

76.   Samuel keeps being eaten up by Jihoon save my boy  those two want center and WOOJIN WANTS TOO!!!!!!! I LOVE WOOJIN!!!!!! PICK HIM!!!!!

77.   AAAAAAHAHAH FUCK SAMUEL JUST SAID THAT HES LIKE A SKINNY DEER NEXT TO JIHOONS TIGER THIS IS THE CUTEST

78.   Jihoon?? Recommended Sameuel now?? FUCK CUTE!!! Poor Woojin tho aw

79.   They are a bit lacking in the dance section though which makes me a bit sad and Danik egets a bit flamed from Kahi since he is the only one who has problems with the choreo

80.   Samuel, Danik and Woojin are all choreographing it but they all have very different styles so it’s a bit hard to learn

81.   Anyways Danik is so cute and he has NICE ASS FUCKIN THIGHS HOLY SHIT  LOOK AT HIM B-BOYING

82.   The whip sound effects are so funny idk why but THEY ARE

83.   Ong and Jihoon are poppingggggggg and its GREATT

84.   Dabbing fuckers I stg

85.   Samuels legs are so thin OH MY GOD DANIEL TWIRLING ON HIS HANDS HOLY SHIT

86.   WHO DID THAT HALF SPLIT WAS IT ONG??? THAT WAS FUCKIN COOL

87.   Hey yall I love Kang Daniel and Park Woojin and I’m not gonna waste my fingers typing out all of the members here BUT I LOVE THEM ALL FUCK

88.   Jihoon did goddamn aegyo on that goddamn stage and Samuel gave half of a heart miss me w that cuteness

89.   Everyone think Samuel won it but goddamn?? No?? He ranked last? How the fuck did that happen I’m literally…… what?? Why on earth? Anyways yall remember when Samuel called his mom and she called him a puppy

90.   DANIK GOT 5TH IM ANGRY!!! AND HE SAID ITS WHAT HE DESERVES!! NO!!!!!

91.   Hyungseob is 4th, Ong is 3rd and Woojin is SUPER NERVOUS AND NOW THEY CUT IT OFF!! FUCK YOU MNET!!

92.   If Taehyun isn’t getting the best dancer I’m going to scream right here right now

93.   Pop got really low votes I’m emo

94.   TAEHYUN WRECKED IT HE IS FIRST!! HE DESERVES IT FUCKIN HELLL HE DOESSSS

95.   Ok cut back to get ugly votes WOOJIN GOT FIRST HE REALLY DID IM SO PROUD HE REALLY DID IY MY FOX BABY HE DESERVED THAT FIRST CENTER PLACE FROM A RANKS AS WELL BUT NOW HES HERE AND BEAT UP!!!!! THE ENTIRE TOP TEN!!! FUCKIN GOD IM PROUD

96.   TAEHYUN STAYED THERE HE REALLY DID WOOOJIN IS 5TH BUT TAEHYUN MADE IT HE IS FIRST HE BEAT ALL OF THE AVENGERS F U C K

97.   Samuel and Daniel are ranking really low…… this is…. This is really sad wow holy shit….Poor children…. To drop from second to second to last??? Poor kid

98.   Anyways the golden trio is now Gunhee, Jonghyun and Taehyun I am satisfied and have no objections to that

Good night yall buy nuest albums theyyre good for your health also happy debut to ace and merry comebacks to map6, ikon, got7, knk, b.i.g,, 24k and anyone else that I forgot

[recrush]

hmm a treasure i treasure is my gf, it's you. u r my treasure

💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌  a love letter from me to you!!

bitch…

b i t c h…..

b i t c h…….

B I T C H!!!!!!!!

you fr don’t even k n o w how much this made my heart flutter. like, i was rlly sitting here, on my bed, confused as to who would send me a message. i open my inbox and see it was you and i was like ‘’okay why is meko in here’’ WEUDHEWF and then i read your message and i….i….i love you…so much…..sososoososososso much….so very much….so fucking much….i rlly can’t say it enough because every time i say it i love you even more and it’s like damn that girl is never gonna understand the amount of love i have for her. baby, i’m so glad we met what is it like two years ago now?? in That Group Chat (even if it became so uglie and dry after ushsdewf i’m still in it you know?? i would leave but everytime i try and do it i’m like wow this is so awks but then i look at the convo about jean memes and i’m like 😤😤). it still cracks me up because i rlly wanted to be your friend because you were (and still are) so fucking funny, you were Iconique as hell, and i just had this special place for you in my heart from the beginning 💓💝💘💞💖💕💗(also when i saw your pictures…bitch maybe that was when i realised i was bi 😍😍😩😫💦💦). everytime you cracked a joke i was rlly out there huffing and puffing cause you were so funny!! and i wasn’t even tryna kiss up to you i just found your goofy ass so hilarious and i wanted to talk so badly!!!

and then suddenly, we were friends and suddenly we kept pm’ing each other which??? was such a big step for me because at that point i was rlly shit at texting people individually but for you i didn’t even have to try. we kept talking all the fucking time. morning 🌕. afternoon 🌗. evening 🌑. in both timezones. just…we couldn’t keep our mouths shut!!! both on pm and in the group chat. omfg remember when we re-wrote your story and added ‘’fam’’ to the end of everything???? i remember i cried tears of laughter that night, i kept wheezing and silent laughing cause everyone was asleep and i didn’t wanna sound like a mf clown and wake them up and get my ass beat by my mum (mocs man mocs - mothers of colour). i remember that night i rlly felt like ‘’she likes me she likes me’’ and the time when we were posting those uglie ass shoes that BTS would wear and all these other times. we got closer and closer and i remember one night you made me cry because it was Deep Boo Hours and you were confessing that you never talked in the gc unless i was in it because i made you feel safe and you felt like you didn’t care if people would judge you in the chat because you had me and if you had me everything would be okay. i cried like the Big Bitch i am because it touched me, deep down (in my heart, i feel like i have to point that out KAKWKAKSK)

and then we were making our own squads from the main gc. we went through a lot in that time, like being shady little bitches and rlly taking out The Uglies 🤢😷(REMEMBER LAS VEGAS I WANT TO CHOKEHASK) to having the deepest conversations i ever had with anyone on this Earth. no, fr, i could literally talk to you about ✨ANYTHING ✨ and i still can. i even talked to you about shit that i never even thought about, and i told you all of my deepest secrets and innermost thoughts. shit that i couldn’t tell anyone else because i was afraid they would abandon me like how everyone else always did. but no matter what we went through, you never abandoned me or ditched me. not that you would willingly; it’s not in your character to just leave a friend. but we both never let the other grow apart from and each other and honestly we rlly didn’t need to do much to prevent that…

because here i am, it’s almost midnight, probably past midnight as i finally post this long love letter (but you know me well enough to know that this isn’t even long for me). i’m listening to your voice notes, Big Cheek Smiling because i love the sound of your voice, even if you don’t know what to say, smiling because you’re screaming and you scream every 0.2 seconds like you’re fr the bitch that actually screams when they text ‘’I’M SCREAMING’’, smiling because you make fun out of my accent because it’s so British compared to yours (I’M WHEEZING JUST THINKING ABOUT ALL THE STUFF YOU SAY BC IT’S SO FUNNY I RLLY WNANA CRY!!!!!) and i’m only realising like damn you sound so American *that’s hot*, smiling because i know your voice, your face, and now your body like i have this whole beautiful person in my head and my mind isn’t powerful enough to comprehend how so much beauty can be crafted into one person. and my mind further cannot comprehend (*insert* ‘’tas you sound so posh rn’’ I K N O  W) how on Earth this person loves me. we both always worried about drifting apart even though we never had a phase were we felt like there was no spark anymore. yeah, we did get busy w school, but we always left messages and photo mail (I LOVE LOVE LOVE PHOTOMAIL SO MUCH EVEN THE WORD YOU MADE IS SO ADORABLE UHSDFIJROP) and reassured the other always. and whenever we were online at the same time during the time we had to be away bc of uglie ass school the spark was unbelievable like we couldn’t shut up and we had so much to say, so much to laugh about. it would always felt like we never left each other’s side.

[ and now here we are. soon going to be 3 years later. we’re still super fucking close. i was never friends w someone from online for this long. but you’re more than just someone from online, not to sound corny :/ you’re ….everything….you’re my girlfriend, my wife, my one and only, my soul mate….you really are everything to me. this is gonna sound weird but you know that feeling after you do all your skincare and you feel so refreshed and relaxed and your skin is so soft and your face is glowing and you feel like no matter what happened that day all of the stress and sadness is gone??? that’s how you make me feel. you know when you’re alone and you’re watching the sky, no matter if the sun is setting or if there are no stars that night or if the sky has way too many colours in it compared to the usual blue it’s supposed to be, and being alone might make you feel empty but instead you just feel so whole?? and….and complete??? even though you’re this tiny person and you’re alone, with no one, watching this vast ocean of the air. and you’re far, far away from it that even if you reach your fingers and stand on your tip toes you could never be able to reach the sky, but despite the distance you still feel so complete and safe and protected and loved as if this sky, in all its greatness, is watching down on you and looking out for you and guiding you and loving you…BITCH THAT’S HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL!!!!! ]

meko, you’re my sky. no. scratch that. you’re my sky, my earth, my sea, my sun, my moon, my stars, my whole mf galaxy. my love for you can’t even be contained in one universe. out of everything that’s happened in my tiny life, i am the most grateful that i was able to meet you and call you my dearest soul mate.

[ i love you so much baby girl, please sleep well underneath our sky tonight,

- tasmina (you’re other half) ]

😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇💘💐🌟💝🌈💖💫💌🕊😇

[imsarabum]

Responses to {Part 25} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

(I have also included asks that I received in the hours before IWSY was posted ^^)

@ofwolvesandbutterflies said: Oh mai gawd it's tuesday! you know what that means... IWSY part 25 is coming tonight!

IT’S VAMPDAY! Hehe :3 I’m excited!!

@life-guru said: It's Tuesday!!!!!! I am so ready😙

Yay! I hope you’ll enjoy it love :D

@openup-yourmind said: Hi, i just wanted to let you know that i can't wait for the next chapter! ♡ You're a breat writer and i send big love from Montreal/Canada 😘❤🍁 *big hug* :)!

Thank you so much honeypot! I really hope you’ll like it :D Yay hugs from Canada! Have some hugs from the U.K too *hugs* hehe ^^

@bangtangurlarmy said: Girl, I live for your writings. ABANSJWJAIWKAKKWNWIMWALMAJW I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER AND I HAVE FINALS ON SATURDAY BUT IT'S MY LAST EXAM SO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.  I love you❤❤ And Justin Seagull❤ and Jack, Christian Chim Chim....Yoonki Min as well... Oh wait, I love Monie and Jin and J-dope too😌

I BURST OUT LAUGHING AT J-DOPE LMAO OH YM GOD xD Ahhh your nicknames for them all are so cute, when will I ever~ And hey, you’re one to talk! I’ve been sneaking through your Taehyung scenarios like *wiggles eyebrows* and I love your writing so much! And of course, I love you a lot too ❤  I hope your finals won’t be too stressful for you my dear, you’ll do well I know you will!

@mocking-butts said: I like can't focus properly because I'm waiting for the new update~ I need to know what happens mumsy oh god I'm dying here ㅠㅠ

I hope you’ll enjoy it honeypie! :3

Anonymous said: OMG ONE FUCKING MINUTE

LET’S GOOOOO!

Anonymous said: AHHHHH SHES PREGNANT DJAJVDJSJSBSKSKNXNSNZJ

GASP!

Anonymous said: That was heavy man...

Good heavy I hope~

Anonymous said: ACKKK THAT WAS SO GOOD! CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK!! LOVE YA❤ -Anon+friend⚇

Thank you so much anon and friend! I love you too :3

@mocking-butts said: WAIT WHAT OH MY- IM MAMING THE MOST UNGODLY NOISES IM LIKE I CANT EVEN MUMSY WHYYYYY PLEASE BE NEXT WEEK FATSER~ ksjsndndkdkdkek I forgot how to speak I'm going to go cry now and drown in my tears 😭

Please don’t cry please smile for me :( I hope you enjoyed it though! :c Thank you for reading my love!

Anonymous said: Shit just went down I love when your fanfics get angsty OMG thank u Sara  --wifey anon

I’m glad you enjoy the angst wifey anon c: Plenty more where that came from! ^^ Thank you so much for reading it :D

Anonymous said: I was having a poop week, and this made my day. BUT THAT CLIFFHANGER!! AND I'M PREGGERS *screams* PS I forgive you and love you too :) *more screams* -Vampnip anon

I’m sorry you had such a poop week *hugs* I hope your week gets better! AND YES OMG YOUR PREGGERS CONGRATS BABE! lolol c: Thank you for forgiving me Vampnip anon c: And thank you so much for reading!

Anonymous said: *says in ratchet voice* OMG NO! You did not just do that to me bitch! Like how the fuck am I supposed to be able to live for another week to read the rest of this story! Like, hell to the no... just saying you better come to my funeral Luv u bitch xxx

I DID JUST DO THAT TO YOU~ muhaha ^^ I’ll be there dressed in my best I’M KIDDING NO PLEASE DON’T DIE ID BE REALLY SAD FOR REAL :( I love you too lol and thank you for reading the update :3

@mini-mini-jiminie33 said: In response to the cliffhanger on chapter 25 of I Won't Stop You--yOU ARE THE GOD OF CLIFFHANGERS AND IDK WHETHER TO LOVE YOU OR HATE YOU FOR THAT OMG IM SCREAMING AAH

I WOULD PREFER IT IF YOU LOVED ME BUT IF YOU WANT TO HATE ME THEN THAT’S OKAY TOO I’LL SPEND THE REST OF MY ADULT LIFE TRYING TO EARN BACK YOUR LOVE *cries*

Anonymous said: I SWEAR!! I FLIPPING SWEAR!! DO YOU ENJOY THE THINGS YOU DO TO ME?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE!?

I do rather enjoy the things I do to you ^^ Does that make me evil like Yoongi? Probably c: thank you for reading my love :3

Anonymous said: OMG THE OC Is PREGNANT FUCK YES! Hmm pregnant from all that fucking 😉😏😏I HOPE THE BABY IS OK

*jay parks aquaman plays in the background* ‘lemme call you mama cos we abouta make a baby’ OML YES ALL THE FUCKING~ haha thank you very much for reading the new chapter doll :D

@jynxy24 said: YOU. MAKE. ME. WANNA. SCREAM. AND  CRY. OMG. SAAAARRRRAAAAAAAAAAA! HOW COULD YOU?! I TRUSTED YOU TO PROTECT MY HEART BUT MY HEARTEU! MY HEARTEU IS, ARRRHHHH!!  Okay, rant is over. How've you been, Sara!! I hope you have been well, is the weather there great? Stay healthy!! >.< CHAPTER WAS AWESOME BTW AAAAHHHHH!! I'M SO FRICKIN CURIOUS OF WHAT YOONGI IS GONNA DO!! I hope Namjoon turns good at the end(I can frickin sense it) :3 I have to go, stay awesome, Sara! Love you!

I promise you that your heart will be okay and that everything will work out in the end!! I’ve been okay, super stressed and busy and hardly any time to do anything other than study and work but I am trying to hard to stay on top of things ^^ The weather is FREEZING but I wrap up warm. How are you doing?! And thank you so much for reading the new update and I love you too honeypie!! :3

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: SARA IM UGLY CRYING I FUCKIN KNEW ITTTTTTTTTTTT OHMYGOSHIMINSHOCK MY HEART IS EXPLODINGNGGGGHHHH

shh...it’s okay...it’s all gonna be okay c: ehehe~

Anonymous said: jimin hates white ppl xoxo

xoxo Gossip Girl xoxo

@doubletroublesince1994 said: This is literally making me die and anticipation omgg I loved every bit of this chapter but man waiting for another week for the next chapter is gonna be hard for me 😂😂😂 Thank you so much for writing this, this is truly a blessing I love youuu ❤

Ahhh thank you so much for reading it and I love you too! I know it sucks waiting for things to come out :( but I’m glad that you still read every week despite the wait!! I appreciate it so much :3 Thank you darling :D

Anonymous said: I... Don't know what to say... So much just happened in part 25, Yoongi has 'me' in custody, 'i'm' pregnant with Jungkook's baby, and Jungkook has it so bad that he decided to protect both 'me' and the baby. Fucking Yoongi. Literally, the song 'Why' by Taeyeon is playing in the background and that is  the one word going through my mind right now. How do you write so well and give me the ultimate feels?! I love you, take care of yourself, and yeah. r.i.p. me. - army anon

It really was a chapter filled with so many emotions and feelings and points of view, I’m glad it could give you ultimate feels! Ahhh Why my Taeyeon is a beautiful song, you’ve put me in the mood to listen to it now! I love you too and I hope you will have an amazing week Army anon ^^ thank you so much for reading it!

@theninjachan said: this is gonna sound weird but yoongi is my bias so instead of being pissed of or angry with his villainous chuckles i was rather......turned on???? HAHAHA. anyway this was a great chapter as usual. and y/n is pregnant? oh boy oh boy oh boy i'm excited for tuesday to come

No no not at all! I rather enjoy that passive-aggressive asshole type behaviour and it is high-key sexy as fuck in so many ways lol (THIS IS WHY ALL MY RELATIONSHIPS HAVE FAILED I MAKE THESE BAD DECISIONS) lol thank you so much for reading again this week love ^^

Anonymous said: I'm dying a little bit by every sentence I read,  I know this is a fiction (and a VERY GOOD at that), but it still rips me apart reading this chapter especially when Serrena told Jungkook about the unborn child, and I know JK love her and their unborn child with all his life, he will protect them at all cost even if it means his life been taken away :( --Lotsa love Erica from U.S--

Hello Erica!! Thank you so much for reading IWSY it means a lot to me and I’m so happy you think it’s good! And yeah, it’s both a happy and a sad thought. When I was writing the chapter, I was actually listening to Flyleaf’s song ‘Circle’ and the lyrics ‘no man shows greater love than when a man lays down his life for his beloved’ was echoing throughout my mind ^^

@mysr3 said: WHAT!*still shock*What! I thought they were being sAfe! Sara u 've serious explanations to do! I luv how u had JK shift on so many emotions in such short span. the moment of JK n his mom is touching. N u w/ ur evil genius plot Twist! U n this ch r the reason my emotions r over the place rn! Just "Ding-dong” at the end had my imagination run wild of what will happen next. Y Yoongi sounds so hot! Ahh the torture week of waiting for IWSY now begin 😭glare, pouty 😤lol LuV u! ❤️ Thank you!

Don’t glare or be pouty at me!! :c hehe but heY WAIT I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN’T LOOKING FORWARD TO THE UPDATE HM?? ;) lolol I’m glad I could put your emotions all over the place, this makes me very very happy ^^ But thank you once again for reading this weeks chapter and I love you too despite the amount of apparent pain I’ve caused you :3

Anonymous said: It's 11:35 pm my time and I can't control my emotions. Like fuck man. Y/N is preg-a-nant and like I'm happy af.  But why Yoongi gotta fuck everything up. Like couldn't their happiness have lasted a little longer. But it's okay cause y/n a bad bitch you can't kill her. Then JUNGKOOK  gonna fight Yoongi and save his girl cause he a real man-vampire. This story so good that I'll wait another week but these dramatic cliffhangers gotta stop mom (Name the baby after me plz) Love you  💜 ~LilKookieAnon

She is definitely a bad bitch, Yoongi don’t know who he’s fucking with! :3 AND NO NEVER THE CLIFFHANGERS ARE HERE TO STAY I’M SORRY JUST EMBRACE THEM AND ACCEPT THEM AS A PART OF YOU OKAY?! hehe~ thank you my love for reading and I hope you’re having a great week LilKookieAnon ^^

@jeonjungrude said: OMGG THE CLIFFHANGER AND THE FACT THAT SHE IS PREGNANT!! OMGGG WHY U DOING THIS TO MY POOR POOR HEART !! 😭😭😩😩 now i have to wait till next week omg may god save me !! 🖤

Because...I enjoy your pain *evil laugh* I guess this makes me similar to Yoongi lol we are sadists with our intentions :3 But I think mine are far less sinister, well...I hope :3 thank you so much for reading my love and I hope you enjoyed it ^^

Anonymous said: Didn't they have unprotected sex after the ball? How come she become pregnant?

Do you know how sex works my love? :3 You can still get pregnant when you use a condom because nothing (except abstinence) is 100% safe!! And also - if you read the parts when they have sex, there are instances when Jungkook is having sex with the reader when he isn’t wearing a condom. For instance, the morning after the first time they have sex. The reader is on top and he hasn’t got a condom on. Yes - he doesn’t “finish” inside her, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t get pregnant ^^

Anonymous said: Me: OH ITS TUESDAY! *reading IWSY* Fic: Ding-dong” the bell chimed. To be continued..." Me: -_________- well shit NOOO WHY?! EVEN JUST ONE MORE DETAILED SENTENCE THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING. *depressed* *needs to wait for another week ㅠㅠ* Hehehe...i honestly love ur works! Specially IWSY! It's really unique for my opinion and it's im telling u IT'S WELL WRITTEN. It's soooo gooood. I've never been this excited just for tuesdays, ever in my life😂. It's really of the best and one of my favourites! 💕

Thank you so much for thinking that it’s unique and well written, that makes me so happy ^^ Thank you very much my love!! :3

@coppertopging said: I KNEW IT!!!!!! I KNEW SHE WAS PREGNANT!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!! WHY IS TUESDAY 7 DAYS AWAY AGAIN?!?!?!?!?!?!

DUN DUN DUN! c: You guessed correctly! I’m sorry for the long waits :( I wish I could write more than one chapter a week :( thank you my love for reading :D

Anonymous said: OH MY GOD PLEEEASE let this have a happy ending!!! My heart my poor heart😭😭😭

I hope it will have a happy ending for you my love!

@ananyak26 said: Omg author nim! Part 25 was cruelxD. It was amaaazingly written, and I loved it a lot. Great job!

I apologise for it being so cruel :c but thank you so much for reading dear!!

@life-guru said: Ahhhhhh she's pregnant!! I hope everything works out and that namjoon gets saved somehow! Thank you for blessing us with such a great story!!❤️😘

I hope so too c: thank you so much for reading my stories!

Anonymous said: FRICK. That is all I have to say about IWSY chapter 25. Thank you and goodnight.  - 종달새 ❤︎

I hope that’s a good thing! c: Thank you very much for reading my love - good night!!

@animeimmortal said: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT LIKE SHES PRGNANT WHAT AND ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER PLEASE LET ME LIVE IM TRYING TO LIVE IN PEACE AND THIS IS OMG the storm is really not helping and Serena? Lord she could have told Y/N about it at least -.- love you 😍❤❤❤

ALL THE FRUSTRATING THINGS GAHHHH! hehe, thank you so much for reading it aand I love you very much too ^^

@noceurash said: Im!!! I'm so hyped over iwsy omg it's happening!!!! I can't wait for the next part, I love you!! This chapter was so good aaah. I hope you have a good day~~

YAY I’M SO GLAD IT GOT YOU HYPED! Thank you so much my love, I hope you have a good day too :D

@toxic-seoul said: I AM FREAKING OUT SARA OH MY GOD dcdjsjicfk I'm so ready for the next chapter I wanna kno what Yoongi is planning. I want Serena 2 come in like a badass mama & save her son & every1 cuz moms r awesome & shit but I also want JK to tear Yoongi apart. But then I also want Yoongi 2 fuq reader up cuz I'm messed up like that lol bUT NO YOONGI NEEDS TO CHECK HIMSELF BIH IM NOT LIKING HIS ATTITUDE. Bitch boi got another thing comin if he thinks he's getting away with that pfft. Amazing as always btw lol

Badass mama here to save the day! I hope she does that c: AND YES WE CANT LET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT HOW DARE HE, HE’S SO RUDE D: hehe, thank you so much for reading honeypot, you’re awesome an I hope you have a great day ^^

Anonymous said: Oh my god!! All those asks about the reader getting her period!!! And now!!!!! The latest chapter was great and I'm always amazed by your vocabulary :3 Thank you so much for writing I Won't Stop You!

I KNOW LOL IT’S LIKE ‘JESUS CHRIST JUST WAIT FOR THE STORY OH MY GOD’ lol like...please :( haha thank you so much doll, that really means so much to me :D Thank you for reading IWSY and for messaging me too :D

Anonymous said: IM ABOUT TO EXPLODE!! I DIDN'T EXPECT THAAAAAT FHRJKEDJJDKDJFJJ A CHILD?? OMG YAS!!! I WON'T BE ABLE TO SURVIVE THIS WEEK GOD DAMN IT

Please don’t explode no D: YES A CHILD! YES YOU CAN SURVIVE THE WEEK I PROMISE YOU CAN :D hehe~ thank you so much for reading my love ^^

Anonymous said: Wow for once I'm here relatively early and //HOLY SHIT !! The plot is thick and everything is so emotionally charged right now and I'm dying ... but lowkey looking forward to full squad next week (even if 4/7 of them are baddies)

Thank you very much for reading it! I’m glad you’re finding it emotionally charged c: And yep! The gang is all together hehe :D

Anonymous said: i can't wait for nxt tuesday alrd 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Me either! :3 thank you!

@brilliantbellesoares said: IWSY FEEDBACK: I don't know if I'm crying of joy because I'm happy they're having a child or of sadness because of what could happen to that child

That two edged sword tho ;D hehe! thank you so much :D

@wanda-rog said: You're so nice and such a good writter! Still so evil...how dare you give us another cliffhanger? You probably laugh maniacally when you type "to be continued". I just want her to be back with Jungkook! And now she is pregnant and in danger TT another long week before update 😭

My evilness is a charm, I promise ;D Whenever I finish it and read it out to my mum, she screams in distress, so I already have an idea of what will happen :3 thank you for reading my love ^^

Anonymous said: HOOOOOOO BOY SHE FUCKING PREGNANT SJDJDJ oh my god this chapter has my ass up the entire time djdjdjd WHAT THE FUCK im dying to know what yoongis after for y/n what thefcuk

All will be revealed soon! :3 hehe thank you so much for reading ^^

Anonymous said: FUCK ME ON THE ASS WITH A SPOON IM FUCKING DYING I CANT FUCKINT BELIVE JINT HSI FUCKING BITCH OH MY GOD DJSJSJDJS SHES FUCKING PREGNANT DIDNT THEY USE PROTECTION LIKE UNTIL THE LAST SEX PART WHERE JK FUCKED HER RAW IM FUCKING DYING AND SHES GONA DIE INT HECOLD FUCKING YOONGI THAT BITKCH ASS MUTHAFUCKIN I SWEAR TO GOD

LMAO OHMY GOD hahahaha xD Well - if you read the parts when they have sex, there are instances when Jungkook is having sex with the reader when he isn’t wearing a condom. For instance, the morning after the first time they have sex. The reader is on top and he hasn’t got a condom on. Yes - he doesn’t “finish” inside her, but that doesn’t mean you still can’t get pregnant ^^ And also, just because you’re using a condom, doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant! Thank you for reading love :D

@semisweetsuga said: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -IWSY by Koto

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA - by Sara THANK YOU BBY

Anonymous said: The scale for this story isn't 0 to 100 anymore. It's just 100 to 5000 at this point ya know? There's never a point where this story rests at 0

heh, I think that’s a matter of subjectivity my darling. There are points in which I believe this story is calm and tranquil depending on the situation - take the moment in the restaurant for example, or various soft/romantic moments that the reader is subjected to. Of course, it is a Vampire fiction, so the element of thrill would naturally be quite high :D

@xokookiebts said: I swear im choking. If her baby gets hurt, im breaking my phone i stg. I will sue min yoongi. That little shit.

Please don’t break your phone! I hope that everything works out for you in the story c: thank you for reading my love!

[pure-hxppiness]

7 September 2020 @ 9:35pm, Monday

2 post in one day huh. Life is so unpredictable. You were such a fighter, just like your wife. I’m very sure you fought till your last dying breath. I truly dont know how do I go about from here. 

Dear Yayi, there are so many things I would love to tell you rn, but thats the thing. Right now, you’re no longer with us. I want to talk to you when you’re no longer here. Isnt that sad? This isnt the life i want with you. I want to go back to the way we were, when I was your little granddaughter and you’d bring me to places, laugh and make lame jokes, buy macdonalds with no tartar sauce cause you hated it. I’d always remember how you wanted to save my cousins from their abusive dad because you loved them so very much. You’d always take me home and made sure i was okay. You and Nyai gave me a childhood that every grandchild would love to have. 

You taught me to fight and stand up for my rights. You taught me to be brave and always to push till the finishing line. If anyone asked me to describe you, it would be strong, just like your wife. 

But it wasnt always flowers and rainbows. You taught me values that I currently posses through your ugly ways. I never agreed with your actions, I never once appreciate how you treat your in-laws, I dislike how you are so disrespectful to others. You were constantly grumpy, and looked at everything negatively. Despite it all, I still care about you. 

If life wasnt all bad, you could have meet your great-grandchild for the first time. You would have loved his bright eyes and cute button nose. You could have gotten to know the love of my life more. I’m sure we would have spent more time together. I would have loved to invite you to my wedding and have you as one of the witnesses, read prayers, and lead the ceremony. That would have been nice. 

I know I wasnt there for you when you needed me most. I know I was so selfish because I only cared about my well-being. I always feared being around you because i know how you’d treat others. I dont think i deserve to cry tonight. I really dont after how i treated you. But somehow, the tears keeps flowing because I know I failed you. I failed at being you granddaughter, I failed at being there for you, I failed at not being present in your life. I’m sorry I failed you. I’m sorry Nyai. I’m sorry Yayi. 

I’m glad that you remarried the lady and I truly hope that she made you happy during your last few days. I’ll be seeing her for the first time tmr inshaallah, and i’ll be seeing you after prolly over a year. Inshaallah you are safely where you are supposed to be, and I hope Nyai is there to great you with the biggest heart in the universe. Inshaallah we will meet again in Jannah soon. I miss you, I love you. 

Your granddaughter. 10:03pm