#Tw: mentions of abuse

[wxnheart]

Worshipping him.

Admiring his body, your eyes sparkling with wonderment and love.

Leaving him flustered under your gaze; you make him feel beautiful. You make him feel sexy. You make him feel... safe. And loved. So damn safe. So damn loved.

His body is a canvas made of stories, some good and others downright horrifying. And with every ridge and scar your fingers run across, you hear them again. You never tire of hearing them.

Cupping his cheek, a cheek that's seen a fist or felt the sting of a slap more than it has the warmth of a kiss. You remedy this. You'll always remedy this.

Running your thumb over his lips. A kind or vulnerable word may seem few and far between with some people, but you know that when he speaks them, it's genuine. It comes from the heart. You feel the gentle pressure of his kiss against your finger and god, he's so fucking beautiful—

Resting your palm over his heart. A heart that beats strong and steady, a heart that's experienced so much pain and suffering, that's been broken more times than you two can count and he's always had to pick the pieces up and glue them together himself. A heart that dares to be vulnerable, to open up and love in its own gruff way. A heart you wish you could make anew but can only try your damndest not to break again. And he believes you. He'll always believe you.

You worship him and he falls deeper into you...

[literallyjusttoa]

What’s better Christmas present than a bit of angst huh?

When Apollo was young, not yet a year old, he was banished from Olympus due to his crime of murder. Gaea called for his head, but Zeus shielded him.

“I will not rule as my father did,” he said “The boy can learn, he can be better.”

Apollo was sentenced to exile. Nine years, though he was not told this. No, Apollo was certain that he had lost his chance to join his family in the heavens. His father had spared his life, and as penance he now had to stay on the mortal realm for all eternity, alone.

The young god made due with what he had. He wandered through the fields of Greece, tending to the animals he found along the way. He would sing, as light and clear as the birds, and mortals would flock to the sound. Apollo was never allowed to linger long, but he fell in love with that feeling of warm comfort mortals seemed to carry with them, that joy that he could never quite reach. When he could, he worked, often for little reward. He wanted another taste, another glimpse of a less lonely existence. So he became a shepherd, a soothsayer, a musician, always a few steps away, watching but never being.

One day, in the middle of the coldest months, Apollo was hired by a farmer in the Vale of Tempe. He had a large herd of cattle and was in desperate need of a someone to care for them. Apollo traveled through the backroads and forests, making his way to the valley. When he arrived, however, he found no farmer, and no cattle. Instead, a lone man sat at the base of the river that flowed through the vale. The water was near frozen over, but the man did not shake. Instead, he turned, and smiled wide.

“Apollon,” Zeus said, “Olympus has missed you.”

Apollo was shocked. Had his father truly come for him? He dropped into a low bow, too nervous for words.

Zeus chuckled, low and warm, “Rise, son. There is no more need for humility. It has been decided you have done enough.”

“Truly?” Apollo asked, “May I truly join you on Olympus?”

“You may join me at home, Apollo.” Zeus responded, “Your home. Come, we shall perform a rite of purification in these waters, and then you will ascend to your throne.”

And so the rite was performed, and Apollo was cleansed. As far as the rest of the world knows, the two immediately ascended to Olympus, to the glorious applause of the other members of the divine court. Apollo took his throne, next to his dear sister, and began his immortal duties.

But there was a moment, one moment, which was kept away in that sheltered vale. Once Apollo had been cleansed, he stood at the bank, waiting for the next step. Any demand his father asked of him, he would have agreed too. But Zeus held nothing over his head. Instead, he summoned a cloak of sheep’s wool, and placed it over Apollo’s shoulders.

“A gift,” he murmured, “The golden treasures you were born with will bring you glory, but this my son… I hope this will keep you warm.”

And Apollo believed, with all his heart, that he would never be lonely again.

Time is a cruel master. As years bled into centuries that bled into millennia upon millennia, Apollo realized that loneliness would be his most constant companion. He realized that the source of this loneliness, this suffering, would often be the very man that promised to keep him warm. The fire of his father’s hearth burned everything it touched, leaving Apollo with blistered hands and a scorched heart.

But he still wore the sheepskin. When the loneliness crept into his bones. When the lightning crackled across his limbs with a burning pain, as warm as his father promised with an agony he’d never mentioned. When all seemed lost to the ground and the dust. Apollo found that wool cloak and cast it over his shoulders. Even broken promises can bring some sort of comfort. Even old sheep’s wool can bring an illusion of warmth.

I was his child once. He used to love me.

If only the bite of a king’s cruelty could be chased away as easily as the chill of a winter’s day. The wool does nothing, and the loneliness remains. Apollo shivers, and goes to rest.

[kevin-winfield]

Kevin Day and Riko Moriyama - Sons of Exy "Let dead dogs lie" Silas denver melvin// "Selene Thrown Down by Argus", Ferdinand Keller// "All for the Game", Nora Sakavic // "Will She Rise Again?", Francisco Goya // "Boy Frightened by a Man" Francisco Goya // Extra Content, Nora Sakavic // House of The Dragon // "Prey of Ravens", Marceli Harasimowicz// "The Two Crowns", Frank Dicksee //"Brutus", The Buttress// 'Cain and Abel', Orazio Riminaldi

2nd Version of my old post

[ladykailitha]

Grief (A Friend Indeed) Part 7

And now you see why I waited until I had this part written before posting the last one? That was one hell of a cliffhanger. Also everyone gets a dig at Al in this. It's family bonding event. But Steve has the best burn I think.

Just a heads up, Steve talks about being abused...heads up if that's a trigger for you.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

***

Steve placed his hand on Eddie’s back the second he felt his friend stiffen next to him.

“Deep breath, Eds,” he murmured. “There is nothing he can say to you that I will let him get away with, okay? Deep breath. Let me and Wayne handle this.”

Eddie let out a deep breath. “Just careful, Stevie. He’s been known to charm snakes out of their skin.”

Steve’s jaw clenched. So that’s the kind of man he was. He knew that kind of man intimately. His own father was like that. He knew what to watch for now that he had been forewarned.

He plastered a solemn expression on his face, that to everyone who didn’t know him well enough would think sincere, but to Eddie and Wayne, they could see the hard set line of his jaw as he kept one eye on Al and the other on the proceedings.

The funeral wrapped up and everyone lined up to throw dirt on the now lowered coffin. Al tried to get directly behind Eddie, but Steve seamlessly inserted himself between them.

Al bristled but the portly man next to him coughed and he was forced to back down.

Finally the family was all that remained as they all walked back to the church.

The portly man stuck to Al like glue and Steve felt a sudden warmth for the boys in blue at that moment. Because he was pretty sure that even though Al Munson had been granted a furlough, someone was paying to keep that man on a short leash.

The family and a small handful of friends arranged themselves on the pews and waited.

It wasn’t too long until a funny little man with thick bottled glasses came hurrying in.

“I’m sorry Mrs Nelson,” he twittered to Penny. “I had a hard time getting to the church.”

Penny just nodded. “It’s all right Mr Mulbury, you’re here now, that’s all that matters.”

He walked up the pulpit and put his briefcase on it. He pulled out a piece of paper of it and then walked back around the pulpit, leaving the briefcase where it was.

“Ehhm,” Mr Mulbury coughed. “The last will and testament of Gina Munson goes as follows...”

He read it out, people getting little trinkets and things that were meaningful to them, instructions on what to do with her clothes and other things that wouldn’t be given to friends or family.

And then it came time to divide up her meager savings. “My savings of five thousand dollars will be divided three ways. To Penny, you get a thousand to repair that lovely house of yours. I know you didn’t want anything, but use it for your family, dearest girl. Love you all the best.”

Penny laughed a watery little chuckle. She shook her head fondly.

“To Wayne, you get two thousand dollars to finally get that motor home you always wanted. When the time is right, retire and see the world like you always dreamed of. See the stars, my beautiful boy. You deserve stars.”

Wayne teared up, coming down in rivers down his face. Both Steve and Eddie hugged him tight.

“To Allen, who had squandered every good thing he every had, his loving wife, his devoted son, his talents and his good sense, you get nothing. You deserve nothing. If you are here to hear this, I hope it is because the state of Texas deemed it so, and not because you have been set loose again on the world.”

There was a gasp from those gathered and they descended into harsh whispers as they wondered aloud who got the remaining two thousand dollars.

Mr Mulbury cleared his throat. “Instead the remaining two thousand will be given to your son, Edward. Through your actions that boy has suffered so, and because of your actions he will receive not only the money, but all my love as well. Live your dreams, Eddie. Be that star for your uncle. Shine brighter then even that of Polaris. Butterfly kisses into the sunset, darling boy.”

Now Eddie was crying too. Two thousand wouldn’t get him far, but it could get him started. He raised a shaking hand to his quivering lips. Steve grabbed his shoulder and squeezed it.

Eddie looked over and Steve mouthed, “you deserve it.”

He nodded back.

Finally there were some other little things to be wrapped up in the will and then it was all over.

Everyone stood and Steve looked over at Al for the first time since they entered the church. The man had a smile plastered on his face that sent chills down Steve’s spine. Whenever his father wore that expression it meant trouble for someone, usually Steve.

They mingled for a bit, waiting until Penny’s friend came back to tell her that dinner was ready for them. Penny, Wayne, Steve, and Eddie all clustered together while everyone else gathered in other groups.

People were coming up and telling Eddie how much he deserved the money and how much his grandmother loved him. It made Steve puff out his chest in pride.

Finally Al came over and all four of them stiffened.

“Eddie, my boy!” Al greeted warmly. “You’ve grown so much since I last saw you. You’re spitting image of your old man.” He lifted a handcuffed hand with a jaunty little wave. “I’d hug ya, but I’m on a bit of a leash.”

Penny bristled. “I paid good money for that leash, I’m glad to see it working.”

The men turned to her in shock.

“Did you know,” she said through gritted teeth, “that the state of Texas was going to let him come to the funeral without a guard to make sure he didn’t escape? And that you actually have to pay for that service?”

Al grinned. “Ah...Penny-elle-oh-pee, you shouldn’t have.” His voice dropped low and menacing. “You really shouldn’t have.”

The portly man nudged him with his elbow. Al straightened up, his charming mask firmly in place.

Wayne shook his head. “Al, Al, Al...you never did know when to fold and when to call.”

Al turned to his brother for the first time. “Big brother always watching out for everyone and never getting ahead. How much they pay you at that workhouse? You know the one, the one that took Dad’s life?”

Wayne grinned. “Pretty good considering we union’ed up about five years ago. Which would have known if you actually read any of the letters I sent you. Just like you would have known about what Eddie looks like now...”

Steve hurried to cover his snort, but Al whipped his head his direction.

“And who the hell are you?”

Steve eyed him with a raised eyebrow. “Steve Harrington, my mother is Sophia Kincade, of the Lexington Kincades and a good friend of your son’s.”

Al turned to Penny. “Why he is here with family?”

Wayne bristled. “This is the boy that saved your son during that major earthquake we had earlier this year. Another thing you’d know if you’d read my damn letters. He deserves to be here just as much as you if not more so.”

Just then Penny’s friend came in and told them that dinner was ready for the family.

Al ran his tongue over his teeth and grinned. “Hey, Bernie, how much time have we got?”

The portly man looked at his watch. “We’ve got about an hour before we have to leave to catch our flight.”

Penny furrowed her brow but knew she couldn’t deny him dinner as much as it grated.

The friends that had been at the reading made their goodbyes and soon everyone else was filing into cars.

Penny and her family in her blue Chevy, Steve, Eddie and Wayne in his BMW, and Al and Bernie in an unmarked Crown Vic.

They get to the house and the scents of a home cooked meal waft from the open front door.

They all go sit down at the table, Danny and Wayne pulling out two more chairs for their unwelcomed guests.

Steve was disappointed to see that not only was there enough food to feed Al and Bernie, but that there was enough food to feed a fucking army.

Penny’s friend’s name is Lucy and her daughter Beth is one of Lauren’s friends, too. They’re both blonde with bright blue eyes and curvy bodies.

They are bustling around the table making sure everyone has enough food.

About half way through dinner Al speaks up. “So you still playing that guitar of yours, Ed?”

Eddie stiffened. “I’ve got a red NJ Warlock that I play now.”

“Ooh...fancy,” Al whistled. “You steal it?”

Lauren and Wayne bristled, but Eddie scoffed. “No, but I did steal an RV once while on the run wanted for murder, but they were a bunch of pricks anyway.”

Wayne and Steve stifled a laugh while the rest of the family looked as though they weren’t sure if he was telling the truth or not.

“Cleared of all charges,” Steve added with a sly smile. “Court ruled it extenuating circumstances.”

It was Eddie’s turn to hide his smile in his napkin.

Al’s mood darkened. He didn’t like being out of the inside joke. “You gonna do anything with the talent I gave ya, teaching you how to play on that beat up ‘ole six string?”

This time Eddie rankled. How dare AL imply that he had anything to do with his ability to play guitar? As if the real reason wasn’t sitting right there at the table.

Steve put his hand on Eddie’s shoulder, calming him.

“Was that before or after you taught him how to hotwire a car?” he asked, faux innocence.

Al sputtered.

“See, I always got the impression,” Steve continued, “that instead of teaching Eddie how to play guitar or throw a ball you were too busy trying to make sure your son followed in your footsteps straight into the penitentiary.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide with barely contained glee.

“While Wayne on the other hand,” he said scratching his temple, “was working hard to put on the table, get Eddie through school, and give him the best life he could given the hand you dealt both of them. Now, I’m just some outsider, but I know what it’s like to have a shit dad.”

The room was stock still. Steve didn’t think that they were even breathing at this point, but he pressed on.

“Didn’t fit into the box he built? He hit me. Didn’t get captain my sophomore year, something that had never been done ever? He hit me. Didn’t date the right girl? He hit me. Ditched my asshole friends? He hit me. Now, I don’t know if you’re cut from the same cloth or not. I don’t give a fuck. But you tell another lie like that one to these honest folk, and Officer Bernie here will be taking you back to Texas in a body bag.”

Al jumped to his feet, but before he could even twitch Steve’s direction Bernie whipped out a taser and zapped him with it. Soon he was doing a different kind of twitching.

On the floor.

Bernie began clapping and soon everyone else was too.

Steve blushed. “To think I could have been like that asshole if it wasn’t for getting some sense knocked into me by people who actually gave a damn. I’m sorry he ruined dinner.”

Penny scoffed. “Dinner isn’t ruined. Wayne, Danny please help the kind officer take out the trash.”

Officer Bernie chuckled. “Much appreciated, ma’am.”

Wayne and Danny stood up and helped him take Al back into the Crown Vic.

Wayne went through and made sure that Al didn’t steal anything or had anything that might be a danger to the good officer. He never had trusted Al, even as kids and he sure the hell wasn’t going to start now.

Soon the officer was on his way and the family sat down to eat the dinner that was so wonderfully prepared in peace. Like Gina had always intended.

Wayne smiled at Steve. He was proud of how he had stood up to Al for his boy.

****

Pt 8|Pt 9|Pt 10|Pt 11|Pt 12

Tag list: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @messrs-weasley @goodolefashionedloverboi @maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @emly03 @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @vecnuthy @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @gutterflower77 @genderless-spoon @hel-spawn @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @mamafaithful @yikes-a-bee @dragonmama76 @flaming-reauxster

[kaeyachi]

So...I finished the Arlecchino story quest...

Spoilers below!

TW: Mentions of Suicide, Child Experimentation, Child Abuse, and Murder/Death

This is, by far, the best story quest I have ever done!

First of all, CHILDE?! CHILDE ESCAPING HIS PERSONAL AMBULANCE TO SNEZHNAYA JUST TO COME BACK TO FONTAINE TO ASK SKIRK A QUESTION? Bro is so funny, please-

please save him.

Wait, actually, yeah please do save him. Pulcinella and Pantalone are both plotting in the background, and they got Childe involved...

I also loved the children! Look at how terrifying they are! They're my absolute faves!!

Lyney cementing the reason as to why Arlecchino chose him as the next King is wonderful to see as well. For some time, I thought Freminet and Lynette had a shot, even with reading their lore. What I have failed to realize is that Lyney really is the inspiration for all of the people in the House of the Hearth. His frustrated and disappointed spiel about Freminet not trusting him with Clervie struck me to the heart. This is an older brother at work here people!

Also if I had a nickel every time a cryo younger brother hid a dangerous secret from his pyro older brother which got them into an argument once the truth came out, I'd have 2 nickels ✌️ (somehow gave me war flashbacks to a scene that doesn't even exist lmao)

LYNETTE IS THE FUNNIEST SIBLING BTW. SHE'S MY QUEEN FOR THIS.

Clervie! Our dearest! I'm not fully sure what part in her design did it, but she barely looks like an NPC somehow. Like, yes, this is still an NPC base model, but... is it perhaps the hair? And the extra lashes??

Also, her calling Arlecchino "Perrie" made me sob. I wasn't ready to hear nicknames!!

The mention of Snezhnayan auroras also made me sob again as well. You know what? This entire thing made me sob.

Clervie's dread and horror at the thought of her own mother, her unrelenting spirit that kept her going in her fight for her fellow peers freedom despite the abuse that she will receive, and her unfulfilled dreams repeatedly being mentioned throughout this quest was heartbreaking.

I do have to say- the animations they released for Arlecchino helped a lot with the emotions we are supposed to feel for this quest. Not only was that good Advertising and promotion for the Arlecchino banner, it also set up the plot that would have not been well presented ingame had they chose to do that instead.

Crucabena and Clervie part of this quest were not the only ones mentioned in this quest, but also that damn dude that she killed with her heels! I personally like the way they released all those animations because the quest feels more emotional and alive now, and we could follow with the story better than before (and it effectively increased the hype)

Speaking of more alive, the facial expressions have definitely improved! This quest had them utilizing various expressions well, specifically for the playable characters, so, again, this really helped with the feel of the quest.

Additionally, adding a picture to scenes also set the tone really well. It's not that pictures have never been included in quests before, but the way these were framed(?) made it look way better than the ones before.

By the way...is it just me? Or did Paimon's voice somewhat mellow out for this quest? I had recently played some other story and world quests, and Paimon's EN voice is admittedly high-pitched and painful to hear in those, but for this quest, it's as if her voice was toned down (like Mondstadt Paimon, but with current Paimon energy). I'm hoping this was them taking the criticism from past and adjusting their instructions to Paimon's VA accordingly, because I loved Paimon's voice in this quest (that or I'm delulu)

Quick lore tidbits before I go back to gushing about this quest:

1. Arlecchino confirmed not from Fontaine (like I legit thought she may be Khaenri'ahn due to the blood moon thing she has going for her, but it's nice to confirm her non-Fontainian status)

2. Crucabena was the one who had a deal with Dottore on sending members of the HotH to him for experimentation. Anyone who was physically impaired or left alive after a duel to death are automatically sent to him. Clervie has described this as a fate worse than death... Peruere rejected Dottore's partnership offer once she became the next knave. Also, Crucabena used Clervie as an "example" for those who wish to escape, meaning Clervie received the most abuse (which apparently worsened as the years went by). Clervie lost hope sometime along the way and was basically suicidal as well by the time she and Arlecchino had their duel... Her mindset by that time is that the only hope for freedom to her is death. The popular theory of Clervie letting Arlecchino kill her is proven in a horrifying way with this discovery... (yes, she wanted Arlecchino to be the king, but at the same time, she took this situation as a chance to hit 2 birds with 1 stone)

3. Project Stuzha is apparently something highly dangerous, and Pulcinella and Pantalone are trying to get Childe and Arlecchino involved (Childe was told to aide the project by Pulcinella, while Arlecchino says she doesnt want the HotH to be involved in it)

4. Here is me reannouncing that I am in fact taking the L on the Freminet and Crucabena situation. Basically, the timeline is that at age 16, Clervie dies, and we are left with a 1 year time period for a 6 year old Freminet to enter under Crucabena (I'm guessing this is either a retcon or a means to hide the Arlecchino plot by not having them directly say mother in Freminet's character story 4). After that said 1 year, Peruere kills Crucabena and has spent several months in Snezhnaya before reviving the House of the Hearth and adopting Lyney and Lynette (perhaps the children of Crucabena's HotH simply stuck together during that time)

Basically, yes, Arlecchino is in her mid-20s. Not my personal cup of tea, but hey, genshin ages are confusing most days (Ayato is older than her, and Ayaka may actually be older than her as well... ugh I need a moment please... I MAY BE THE SAME AGE AS HER. NO-)

5. Freminet used to also call Lyney "brother". What changed that, I'm not sure (and if I had a nickel...), but the thought of baby Freminet following around big bro Lyney and big sis Lynette makes my heart melt. Freminet actually cried after Lyney basically told him how important Fremi is to him, so whoever made Freminet think otherwise... 😡 they better square up because we ride at dawn

ok back to me gushing

THE BOSS FIGHT? IT WAS SO COOL! It was beautifully animated, and the fact that they added this at the end?

The fear on the traveler's eyes upon realization of what true power Arlecchino held was amazing imo. We canonically cannot defeat Arlecchino in her boss fight! She will be a weekly boss that we can defeat, but in actuality, we really cannot beat the number 4 of the Fatui Harbringers.

We now have actual proof that harbringers 1-4 are not within our capabilities to challenge, and to add to that horror, this is us fighting Arlecchino with Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet. This is also actual proof that we, the traveler, cannot defeat a ton of other characters as well! (were cooked if we never get a power boost and plot armor✌️)

Also let me sneak in this picture:

Cunty as fck. Powerpuff girls energy. They're the Heathers, and we, the traveler, are Veronica.

And finally, the last part of my commentary that cemented this quest as my top 1:

Everything Arlecchino has done for the House of the Hearth, it was all thanks to Clervie and her dreams.

Arlecchino has shaped the HotH into a more honest relationship between her as the father and them as her children. Everything Clervie hated about the old HotH is now nonexistent in this version.

The children could be set free.

Duels are not to death.

They will not be sent to their doom if they lose.

This is everything that Clervie dreamed of, and this is everything Clervie tragically never got to see and experience because she lost all hope.

Clervie's story ended in tragedy, but Peruere lived and breathed Clervie's dreams for her anyway. Seeing the aurora was the start of Peruere finding the goal of living Clervie's dream, and now, Arlecchino strives to do her best to see those dreams come to fruition.

And the qualities that Peruere admired in Clervie are the same qualities that made her want Lyney to become the next king. Hopeful, caring, protective, passionate, and full of conviction. Lyney will take the mantle and live and breathe for Clervie's and Peruere's dreams someday.

Honestly, I have more to say, but I think this is a good place to stop for now. The dynamics of all these characters have made this experience worthwhile, and I hope that genshin continues with this sort of style in the future. Here's to more amazing stories from genshin!

Bonus screenshot while we are still here:

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

saw you might be taking requests? can you do a drabble where y/n is a survivor of domestic abuse and levi ends up raising his voice at some point and y/n gets triggered and levi comforts them? pls skip if ur uncomfortable with this!

absolutely LOVE that my very first aot request is heavy angst

You're Safe | Levi Hurt/Comfort Oneshot

✧ word count ➼ 1.6k (i think this word count is just my standard at this point lmao) ✧ content/warnings: mentions of abuse, panic attacks, dissociation, canon!verse, reader is a survivor of domestic abuse, levi being comforting in his levi way, all the not fun stuff that comes with being a survivor, please let me know if i missed any trigger warnings! ✧ notes ➼ I know that everyone's experience with being a survivor is vastly different. If you would like it portrayed in a different way, feel free to send me another ask and I will try my best to match it :) Not sure if this needs to be said, but if you ever need support or solidarity, my ask is always open!

You could tell that something was off the minute he walked in through the door. 

While Levi was rarely in a “good” mood after expeditions, you could tell that this most recent one must have gone much worse than anticipated. It was already getting late into the night and your anxiety was already elevated, having been waiting for Levi to arrive back home all day. The debrief must have taken much, much longer than usual, which was never a good sign.

You came out of your study to meet him in the living room, your heart dropping when you saw the dark look on his face and how ruffled his uniform and hair was. 

“Levi?” you asked quietly as you approached him. 

You could tell that he was exhausted and incredibly stressed at the same time. He looked like he was about to collapse down onto the ground and that it was taking all his energy to keep going.

You reached out slowly and placed your hand on his arm, gently holding him. 

“What happened?”

“Nothing,” he grumbled, shrugging you off. “Just a long day.”

You gave him a small, half-hearted smile, knowing that it was definitely not “just a long day”. However, you knew that it took Levi much longer than a normal person to process distress and decompress and given the fact that he was in the Scouts and took regular deadly expeditions outside of the walls, distress was a constant in his life.

“You know that’s not true,” you said quietly, turning towards him as he walked past you. “Talk to me, Levi.”

He stopped walking and you heard a soft sigh come from his mouth. 

“Not now, _____.”

You frowned at him, knowing that “not now” easily translated to “not at all”. Although you knew to give him space, you also knew that if he went to bed in distress tonight, then he would wake up even worse tomorrow, which would make him detach even more, leading into an endless cycle of self-destruction and stonewalling.

“Levi, please,” you said, approaching him again. “What happened? Talk to me.”

He stopped walking and quickly glanced at you with irritation showing in his eyes.

“I said not now, _____!” he yelled out, a bit louder than he had intended to.

You felt yourself flinch and freeze as your blood ran cold. The sudden and drastic change from near silence to his voice bouncing off the walls immediately brought your mind from the present reality and into a dissociative state as you felt your eyes lose focus and your ability to perceive the room around you began to dissipate. Your breathing destabilized as you took a step back away from him.

Given your current state, you weren’t able to see Levi’s eyes widen as he realized what had just happened. You couldn’t see his face pale upon seeing your reaction. You couldn’t see him walking towards you as you quickly turned away, maintaining distance from him. You couldn��t see him open his mouth to speak or hear any words that were meant to come out after.

“I need to go to the restroom,” you muttered quickly as you rushed to the bathroom in the most composed way that you could, as tears began to cloud your vision.

Once you were in the bathroom, you shut the door behind you and leaned over the sink, unable to keep the tears back any longer. You shut your eyes as disturbing memories, ones that you thought you had stored away for good, emerged. You shook your head in an attempt to get them to go away and took a sharp inhale, your breath getting caught in your throat. You vaguely heard that your sobbing was audible due to your unsteady breathing and you quickly covered your mouth in an attempt to muffle yourself.

You felt the world begin to spin around you as you cursed at yourself in frustration. You didn’t understand why you were like this. What had happened was a long time ago. You knew that Levi wasn’t that person. You knew that he wouldn’t hurt you. You knew that, even when he was frustrated, he would never take his anger out on you. 

So why the hell do I still feel this way?!

You opened your eyes again once you heard a gentle knock on the bathroom door with it slightly opening since you hadn’t closed it all the way. You saw Levi approaching from the other side of the door and you immediately looked away, quickly wiping the tears off your face in a vain attempt to keep him from seeing your crying, although there was no hiding your swollen eyes or how red your nose had become from sniffling.

There was a solemn look on Levi’s usually expressionless face. He knew what was running through your head. He knew about the rampant thoughts that must have been plaguing your mind. His heart had dropped once he saw your reaction, but at that point, it was too late to take back what had just happened.

“Hey, _____,” he said, his voice gentle and soft.

You continued to look away, averting eye contact. 

“I’m fine, Levi,” you said with a flat tone, desperately trying to mask your vulnerable state.

You saw him place his hand down on the sink near you without actually making physical contact.

“Can I come closer?” he asked, still keeping his voice low, never taking his eyes off you.

You were quiet for a second as you continued to try to control the tears that were gathering in the corners of your eyes again. You shakily nodded at him as you slowly turned towards him again.

He slowly approached you, pausing for a second before gently placing his hands on your shoulders. He had approached you slowly, noticing that you slightly flinched again when he raised his hands. The most important thing to him right now was to ground you back to the present moment, and indicate that there was no danger.

After he felt you slightly relax upon his touch, he pulled you into a tight hug, placing his hand at the back of your head to hold you in as you buried your face into his chest.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered to you. “I shouldn’t have raised my voice.”

Upon hearing that, you weren’t able to hold your tears back anymore as you gripped at him, with your sobs becoming audible. You pressed your face against him, as if you were desperately trying to hide.

“N-No,” you said quietly, with your voice slightly muffled. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I still act like this. I don’t want you to feel like I don’t t-trust you or that I’m afraid of you or that I-”

“Stop,” he whispered, cutting you off. “It’s okay.”

He gently ran his fingers through your hair in an attempt to soothe and comfort you, placing a kiss on the top of your head.

You continued to press yourself against him. Although you were still sobbing and soaking his shirt with tears, your breathing had stabilized and you no longer felt like there was a storm tearing through your mind.

You both stood there for a minute as he continued to soothe you and ground you back into the present. 

Once he heard you take a deep breath, he spoke again.

“Come,” he said quietly, pulling away slightly, and gently directing you out of the bathroom and into the living room, leading you to the couch.

He sat down, pulling you in as you followed suit. 

You curled yourself into a ball, resting your head against his chest, taking comfort in the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat and the warm touch of you leaning against him. You still felt incredibly embarrassed from getting so heavily triggered and continued to hide your face in him.

After a few minutes of silence, you finally took another deep breath and pulled away slightly to look up at him.

“I’m sorry,” you said, wiping away any residual tears that had gathered on your cheeks. “I feel pathetic.”

He looked at you, his eyebrows slightly coming together as worry entered his eyes at your statement.

“Well, you don’t have to, but I know it’s hard,” he said quietly, gently brushing his fingers against your cheek and tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear so that he could see your face better. “It’s okay.”

He placed his other hand on your waist, giving you a gentle squeeze as a method of reassuring you of his prolonged presence.

You gripped at his shirt to ground yourself. You were here with Levi. The person you lived with currently was not your abuser. The person you found yourself being held by was someone that loved you unconditionally, in the best way that you wanted to be loved. This person cared and would never bring harm to you. You knew that. 

Slowly, a small smile appeared on your face as you parted your lips to speak again.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.

He returned the smile, pulling you into a gentle kiss that lasted for more than a few seconds. 

You allowed yourself to relish in his scent, his touch, the sound of his breathing, the feeling of his hands against you, and how, despite him being relatively small as a person, you felt engulfed by him, as if his presence was able to wash away all of the chaos that resided in your mind.

He pulled and rested his forehead on yours.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered, matching your volume. “You’re safe.”

[calitsnow]

Summary of all mentions of members of Hong Lu's family in the game + comparison with the original book

Summary:

Mention of his “family” in general in the game

Mention of the family elders in the game + comparison with the original work

Mention of his grandmother in the game + comparison with the original work

Mention of his grandfather in the game + comparison with the original work

Mention of his father in the game + comparison with the original work

Mention of his siblings in the game + comparison with the original work

Mention of his brother (Jia Huan) in the game

I wanted to recap all the times Hong Lu talks about his family or a particular member of his family while at the same time comparing them to their version of the original novel by giving some info on the latter (assuming that Hong Lu = Jia Baoyu ). I excluded from this list the uncles and aunts by marriage as well as Baoyu's cousins ​​ for various reasons (too long otherwise, not mentioned...) but I will perhaps do a part 2 to talk about them.

Was also excluded, the entire branch which stems from Jia Yan (the brother of Jia Yuan (the father of Jia Daishan, the husband of Grandmother Jia)), a branch which remains important since it is this one who leads to the actual Head of the Ningguo Mansion (Jia Zhen) when the story takes place. But since, they are distant relatives/cousins ​​of Jia Baoyu, that was taking me too far and so I had to remove them from this list. But I still wanted to mention it since it is an important branch of the family

The Jia family is mainly composed of 4 great families: the Jia Family, the Xue Family, the Wang Family and the Shi family in other words those who were born with the name Jia and those who joined the family by marriage / alliance / by being the brother / sister of one of the grooms… (born Xue or Wang or Shi).

There are also other families like the Xing or Lin family joining the Jia family but whose name appears (very) less often and which are also not considered as one of the great families of the novel.

This list of family members is made in relation to the place they occupy in relation to Jia Baoyu.

I/Mention of his “family” in general in the game

LCB sinner, chatter#3

Abn. logs, Pink shoes: lacking data

Abn. Logs, Sign of Roses: level 1

Abn. Logs, Sign of Roses: level 3

Liu Association South Section 5, story

Liu Association South Section 5, story

K Corp. Class 3 excision staff, post-uptie chat 2

W Corp. L2 Cleanup agent, Idle

Main story, Canto II, episode: 3

Detour Tales, Chapter 5.5, Miracle in district 20, episode: 13

Main story, Canto V, episode: 2

Hong Lu’s promo pre-limbus company release (Hong Lu also mentions the family’s chef’s side dishes but I didn’t include it because it was not about his family specifically)

II/Mention of the family elders in the game + comparison with the original work

W Corp. L2 Cleanup agent, story

W Corp. L2 Cleanup agent, story

Main story, Canto IV, episode: 27

To tell the truth, I don't really know what the term "elders" is supposed to encompass in this context in the sense that, I don't know whether or not parents and/or uncles/aunts should be included in addition to the grandparents.

In my opinion the term "elders" refers to all the generations who are above the one who uses this term (in this case Hong Lu / Jia Baoyu) so I would tend to want to count the parents and uncles / aunts but I cannot say this with certainty.

I will therefore base myself on my interpretation so that it will allow me to talk about more characters of the novel but do not hesitate to let me know what this term encompasses!

1st generation:

Grand parents:

Jia Daishan:

Son of Jia Yuan

first Duke of Rong

husband of Grandmother Jia

father of Jia She, Jia Min and Jia Zheng

grandfather of the three first Spring Ladies (Jia Yuanchun, Jia Tanchun and Jia Yingchun), Jia Zhu, Baoyu, Daiyu, Jia Huan, Jia Lian

died before the beginning of the novel, reason why we don’t know much about him

Grandma Jia (the Dowager):

Daughter of the Marquis Shi of Jinling

Wife of Jia Daishan

Grandmother Jia is a generation above the oldest member of the Rongguo Mansion (Jia Jing)

Thus, members of the Jia family all defer to her

For further information, refer to the paragraph dedicated to her below

Great uncle(s):

Dowager’s brother:

We don't know much about the Dowager's brother

He is Grandmother Jia’s brother

He is the father of Shi Ding and Shi Xiangyun's Father

He is Shi Xiangyun’s grandfather

died before the beginning of the novel, reason why we don’t know much about him

2nd generation:

Parents:

Jia Zheng:

Jia Zheng is the second and youngest son of Jia Daishan and Grandmother Jia.

He has a wife, Lady Wang, and two concubines: Zhao (with whom he had two children) and Zhou

For further information, refer to the paragraph dedicated to him below

Lady Wang:

Daughter of one of the four most prominent families of Jinling (Wang)

Primary wife of Jia Zheng

Mother of Baoyu and Yuanchun

Because of her purported ill-health, she hands over the running of the household to her niece, Wang Xifeng

In the eyes of her servants, she appears as a statue of a lifeless Buddha.

Although generous, she is described as without will or conviction.

Lady Wang seems kind and caring but can be cruel and ruthless when her authority is questioned.

She shows excessive concern about her son Baoyu's romantic relationships and closely monitors his maids.

Lady Wang plays a role in the death of Baoyu's maid, Qingwen, due to her suspicion and cruelty toward maids she perceives as threats to her son's virtue.

Uncles:

Jia She:

Elder son of the Dowager

Big brother of Jia Zheng and Jia Min

Husband of Xing furen

He has 2 concubines: Yingchun’s mother and Jia Cong's mother

Father of Jia Lian, Jia Yingchun and Jia Cong

He inherited the title of Marquis Rong

He is treacherous and greedy, as well as seductive/woomanizer.

He feels jealous towards his younger brother, favored by their mother.

He was later stripped of his title and banished by the government.

Father of Wang Ren and Wang Xifeng:

Lady Wang’s brother

Also brother of Wang Ziteng and Wang Zisheng

Father of Wang Ren and Wang Xifeng:

Wang Ziteng:

Lady Wang’s brother

Also brother of Wang Xifeng’s father and Wang Zisheng

Wang Zisheng:

Lady Wang’s brother

Also brother of Wang Xifeng’s father and Wang Ziteng

Aunts:

Jia Min:

Daughter of Jia Daishan and Grandmother Jia

Sister of Jia She and Jia Zheng

Wife of Lin Ruhai

Mother of Lin Daiyu

Xue Yima also known as Aunt Xue:

Sister of Lady Wang

Sister of Wang Ziteng, Wang Zisheng and Wang Xifeng’s father

Mother to Xue Pan and Xue Baochai

She is generally kind and affable.

However, she struggles to control her rambunctious son.

III/ Mention of his grandmother in the game + comparison with the original work

K Corp. Class 3 excision staff, story

K Corp. Class 3 excision staff, story

K Corp. Class 3 excision staff, story

K Corp. Class 3 excision staff, story

W Corp. L2 Cleanup agent, chatter #1

K Corp. Class 3 excision staff, post-uptie chat 1

Detour Tales, Chapter 5.5, S.E.A, episode: 4

If Hong Lu is indeed the equivalent of Jia Baoyu in the world of limbus company, Hong Lu's grandmother should be the one known as Grandmother Jia, née Shi:

Grandmother Jia:

Also called Dowager Shi or simply the Dowager

She is the daughter of the Marquis Shi of Jinling

Grandmother Jia is a generation above the oldest member of the Rongguo Mansion (Jia Jing)

Main elder of the great family, she is the oldest and most respected authority of the Jia Clan

Of an enjoyable temperament, she does not intervene in the private lives of her children provided that they do not disturb her, even if they have become debauched or high rollers.

It was she who arranged for Daiyu, her only "outside" (i.e., maternal) grandchild, to come to the Rongguo Mansion

She spoils her grandson Baoyu whom she carries in adoration

Despite this, she does not approve of his love for Daiyu

She is the one who supports the marriage arranged by Sister Pheonix (Wang Xifeng) between Baoyu and Baochai

She will die at the ripe old age of 83

Maybe it's just me, but she seems to be one of the people if not the person who pays the most attention to Jia Baoyu's jade, reminding him to take care of it, asking him if he knows where it is his jade when he is not wearing it, paying attention to the stone...

IV/ Mention of his grandfather in the game + comparison with the original work

Detour Tales, Chapter 5.5, Yield my flesh to claim their bones, episode: 4

Abn. Logs, Pink shoes: lacking data

Hong Lu’s promo pre-limbus company release (yéyé" (爷爷) meaning "grandfather" or “grandpa”. It is an affectionate term used to refer to one's grandfather in Mandarin.)

So we don’t really know which of his two grandfathers Hong Lu is referring to but knowing that in the novel only his paternal grandfather is mentioned and died before the novel begins, I think the "grandfather" Hong is talking about is Jia Daishan (and that he probably died in the world of Limbus Company too)

Jia Daishan:

Son of Jia Yuan

first Duke of Rong

husband of Grandmother Jia

father of Jia She, Jia Min and Jia Zheng

grandfather of the three first Spring Ladies (Jia Yuanchun, Jia Tanchun and Jia Yingchun), Jia Zhu, Baoyu, Daiyu, Jia Huan, Jia Lian

died before the beginning of the novel, reason why we don't know much about him

V/ Mention of his father in the game + comparison with the original work

LCB sinner, chatter#1

If Hong Lu is indeed the equivalent of Jia Baoyu in the world of limbus company, Hong Lu's father should be Jia Zheng:

Jia Zheng:

He is the second and youngest son of Jia Daishan and Grandmother Jia.

He has a wife, Lady Wang, and two concubines: Zhao (with whom he had two children) and Zhou

Father of Jia Zhu (deceased), Jia Yuanchun, Jia Baoyu, Jia Tanchun and Jia Huan

Confucianism had a great influence on him: he is a Confucian scholar who tries to be an upright and decent person, he fulfills his duties of filial piety towards the Dowager, and wants to educate his children strictly

Afraid his one surviving heir will turn bad, he imposes strict rules on his son (Jia Baoyu), and uses occasional corporal punishment.

Jia Baoyu is afraid of him

He has the ambition to become a good civil servant

But he lacks experience and is easily deceived by others, which earns him a bad reputation.

VI/ Mention of his siblings in the game + comparison with the original work

Main story, Canto III, episode: 2

Detour Tales, Chapter 5.5, episode: 13

Abn. Logs, Pink shoes: lacking data

If Hong Lu is indeed supposed to be the Jia Baoyu of the world of Limbus Company, then, if we refer to the novel The Dream of the Red Room, Hong Lu should, like Baoyu, have 4 siblings:

Jia Zhu:

First son of Jia Zheng and Lady Wang

Big brother of Jia Baoyu and Jia Yuanchun and half-brother of Jia Tanchun and Jia Huan since they share the same father.

In the original novel, Jia Zhu is already dead prior to the action of the novel, so we know very little about him.

He had a son (Jia Lan) with Li Wan

Jia Yuanchun:

First female family member of the quartet of "Springs", first daughter of Jia Zheng and Lady Wang

Big sister of Jia Baoyu and Jia Yuanchun and half-sister of Jia Tanchun and Jia Huan since they share the same father.

She is about 10 years older than Baoyu.

She was raised by her grandmother

As an older sister, she taught Baoyu to read and write when he was liitle like his mother would have done.

Originally one of the ladies-in-waiting in the imperial palace, Yuanchun is later promoted to the highest ranking of imperial concubine "Xiande”, having impressed the Emperor with her virtue and intellect.

Despite her prestigious position, Yuanchun feels imprisoned within the four walls of the imperial palace.

She died at the age of forty, following an illness, in total isolation.

Jia Tanchun:

Third female family member of the quartet of "Springs", second daughter of Jia Zheng and his concubine, concubine Zhao

Big sister of Jia Huan and younger half-sister of Jia Zhu, Jia Yuanchun and Jia Baoyu since they share the same father.

The fact that she is the daughter of a concubine is still such a burden that she often claims Lady Wang, Baoyu's mother, as her own

Tanchun is a very clever and capable person, as much as Sister Phoenix for comparison

But, as the proverb says, "he who comes last will have fewer opportunities than the others", and this is what happened to her, because when her family declined she had not done much and she was sent to a distant region following an arranged marriage

Jia Huan:

Third son of Jia Zheng and his concubine, concubine Zhao

Little brother of Jia Tanchun and younger half-brother of Jia Zhu, Jia Yuanchun and Jia Baoyu since they share the same father.

More info just below

VII/ Mention of his brother (Jia Huan) in the game

Main story, Canto I, episode: 30

Main story, Canto V, episode: 18 (there we don’t know if he is talking about Jia Huan or not but there are not many other options and from what we can deduce from Jia Huan’s behaviour (in game and in the book too) it’s not very out off character)

Jia Huan:

Third male family member of the generation of the Jia household, son of Jia Zheng and his concubine, concubine Zhao

Little brother of Jia Tanchun and half-brother of Jia Zhu, Jia Yuanchun and Jia Baoyu since they share the same father.

He is described as ugly and clumsy

He and his mother are both reviled by the family, and he carries himself like a kicked dog.

He is very cunning but mediocre, he shows his malignant nature by spilling candle wax, intending to blind his half-brother Baoyu

That’s all! If I have forgotten any moments where Hong Lu talks about his family, don't hesitate to tell me and I will add it! Also, I tried to verify and proof-read all the info and everything should be correct but if I made a mistake feel free to point it out to me :)

[fizzigigsimmer]

Back At One Part 2

Pairing: Caligator, Billy Hargrove x Gator Tillman

Fandom Fusion: Stranger Things & Fargo S5

Dom/Sub au

*Title taken from this truly sappy love song by Brian McKnight that these boys would NEVER admit was kinda okay lol.

<<<<PART I

“When is that fella of yours gonna make an honest man out of you?" Dot asks, just as Gator reaches for the pans stacked on top of the fridge, and he jerks, pulling too quickly, sending a cookie sheet clattering toward the kitchen floor - he just manages to save it. Scotty raises the cover of her book to hide her face, but his ears work just fine and he hears her snicker.

"What do you mean?" he gripes as he fumbles with the cookware. This is what he gets for trying to do something nice for his boyfriend on his birthday. "Billy's already registered as my dominant."

Which means if Gator really does burn the house down trying to make this fucking cake, Billy can have the honor of identifying his barbecued remains and save Dot the trouble.

Dot’s giving him this look though. Like she can see right through his bullshit. Let's get real. She always could read him like a book and play him like a fiddle.

“Alright, lets bake this mother fu-uuning,cake” Gator self corrects, remembering Scotty at the last minute. Shit that was close. Dot only has a few rules for when they’re together: no talking about the past when Scotty’s in earshot and no potty mouth. She literally calls it that. It’s kind of annoying though, cause the kid is like twelve right? Gator could curse in three different languages by the time he was twelve. But apparently that’s not the thing to be proud of that he thought it was when he was twelve.

“Real nice save Hon.” Dot laughs at him.

“Yeah yeah. Let’s just do this.” Gator grumbles in reply, and they do. 

Dot ties an apron around Gator's waist and hands him a mixing bowl while Scotty eagerly climbs up on a stool to read out the recipe as they work. She’s only meant to be walking him through the basics of a simple white cake with Billy’s name spelled out on it, but somehow the kitchen quickly descends into chaos. 

"Okay, first we need to cream the butter and sugar together until light and fluffy," Scotty reads.

Gator dumps an entire stick of butter and a heaping cup of sugar into the bowl. He picks up the electric mixer and jams it in after, cause that much he can figure out for himself. Only it sends a plume of sugar into the air the minute he powers it on. 

“Holy shit!”

"No, silly!" Scotty giggles. "You have to soften the butter first or it won't mix right."

Grumbling, Gator fishes the hard butter out of the bowl and tosses it into the microwave. A few seconds later, there's a loud pop - because he’s a fucking idiot and apparently it doesn’t take more than a few seconds to warm butter. One glance inside confirms the worst: the stick is now a molten mess, and butter drips down the microwave door.

"Oh honey," Dot sighs, grabbing a towel to wipe up the mess. "Just grab another stick and leave it on the counter for a bit to soften."

“Jesus. Come on. Get your head in the game!” Gator admonishes himself, trying to shake off his embarrassment and the feeling of shame welling up inside of him from fucking up something so simple. “I have cooked before. I’m just -”

What? Nervous? Fucking stupid? What else is there to say when he can’t even melt butter.

Dot lays a hand on his back. She doesn’t need to say anything, and she doesn’t as she hands him a clean bowl and Scotty reads out from Dot’s phone that it’s time to sift the dry ingredients together. He upends the bag of flour over the sifter, and thinks it might be too much. It definitely is, because he doesn’t get more than a few taps in before flour has started to overflow everywhere, dusting his hands and the arms of his black t-shirt. But hey, some of it is getting into the bowl.

Somehow with Dot's patient guidance and Scotty's enthusiastic "assistance", they manage to get the cake batter mixed and poured into pans. Gator slides them into the oven, sets the timer, and leans back against the counter with a sigh, his shirt and jeans thoroughly dusted with flour, bits of batter streaked in between.

Dot chuckles as she hands him a damp towel. "Well, that was an adventure. I think Billy will appreciate the effort you put in, even if it's not perfect."

Gator wipes his hands and grumbles. "It better turn out decent after all that. I still think I shoulda gotten him something else though. Something big, to really wow him, y'know?"

Dot studies him for a long moment, and then finally broaches the subject that has been festering like a smelly turd in the corner of the room.

"Want to talk about what happened at the store today?"

No. No he really fucking doesn’t. Gator turns to snap on the faucet, thinking that he’d like to stick his head under it and drown himself right about now. He focuses intently on scrubbing the batter caked on his nails instead.

"Nothin' happened. She was a stuck-up bitch is all. Lookin' down on me like I'm nothin' just 'cause I ain't some fancy dom in a suit."

He hears Dot murmur something quietly to Scotty about going to get her things together, and grunts in acknowledgment when the twerp says a shy goodbye before slipping from the room. He immediately feels like shit, because Dot can’t really punish him anymore - it’s not her place, and she’s got too much respect for Billy to overstep - but she can take away the one thing she knows he really wants. He wasn’t ready for them to leave, but he can’t blame Dot for not wanting her kid around him when he’s like this.

Her family is not something that Dot plays around with, and Gator might be someone she cares about, but there’s a stark line between whatever the hell they are to each other and the beautiful thing Nadine - fuck - Dot, built for herself with her own grit and guts in the aftermath of the Tillmans.

He understands. He gets it. He does. And yet he still flinches when she speaks again, body somehow unprepared for her to still be there even though he would have heard her leave if she wasn’t.

"She shouldn't have treated you that way," Dot says softly. "But Gator, how you reacted wasn’t like you. I haven’t seen you do something that rash in a long time. What’s this really about?”

Gator's jaw clenches and his hands still, suds dripping from his fingers into the sink. The air grows heavy with all the things unsaid between them.

"It’s nothin'. Alright?" he mutters unconvincingly. "I lost my cool is all. Won't happen again."

Dot sighs and leans her hip against the counter next to him, arms crossed. Her eyes are filled with gentle understanding and he hates it. Hates how much it reminds him of his mom, and all the times after, when she was gone and it was Dot standing in her place, filling the void as best she could. Hates most of all that he’s never been strong enough to resist the comfort Dot offers and the temptation to fall apart in her arms. She was his safety, even when safety was a lie and she was just a kid who couldn’t do shit to keep herself safe, let alone him.

But no matter how hard Gator had tried, he’d never stopped needing someone to lean on and take him apart and clean out his rust and dust, to put back together again good as new. That’s his curse, the sub in him, which is hard to swallow most days but Billy makes it better. No one does any of that for him like Billy Hargrove does. Even when Gator makes it hard on him, Billy always knows just which way he’s bent and how to fix it. Yeah it bugs the shit out of him, but he wouldn’t know what the hell to do with himself now without it. If Billy left he’d -

Stop that shit! He flinches away from the thoughts, and reminds himself for the umpteenth time that Billy isn’t going to leave him over some dumb shit like a lame birthday gift. He needs to just quit already. Why can’t he make the thoughts stop?

"You've been doing so well lately, Gator. Really making progress in therapy, communicating better when you’re dropping... What happened today?" Dot presses again.

Gator's throat works as he swallows hard. His hands clench the edge of the sink, knuckles going white. He doesn’t want to talk about this but maybe it will help. God he hopes it helps.

"I just... I wanted to get him somethin' special, y'know? Somethin' to show him how much he means to me." His voice cracks slightly on the last word and Dot's face softens. She reaches for him, laying a hand on his shoulder. 

"Oh honey... Billy knows how much you love him. You don't need fancy gifts to prove that."

"Don't I though?" Gator argues, a bitter edge creeping into his tone. "He does so much for me, Dot. Takes such good care of me, even when I'm a pain in the ass. And, like when am I not a pain in the ass, huh? You were gonna kick his ass and like send him to the Gulag. How am I worth that?”

Dot laughs, giving Gator's shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Listen to me. You are a pain in the ass, but only when you’re trying so hard not to be the sweet, kind, and wonderful man I know you are. You're a good boy, Gator. You always have been. And yes, at first I was worried when I found out your Saftey-Dom had a thing for you. Who wouldn’t be?”

Gator shrugs away her very good point - doms who are employed to counsel and provide subs with therapeutic care are bound by a strict code of ethics. Billy could have been in deep shit if anyone other than Dot had found out about their relationship before Billy stopped being his therapy dom.

“I kissed him Dot, and he never let it happen again while I was still just a case.” Gator laments. “That’s what I’m talking about though, all I could do was think with my dick - meanwhile I could have seriously fucked up his life. And he still took care of me!”

“He did. Which is what convinced me he’s the best thing for you.” Dot says. “It’s because he loves you for who you are, flaws and all."

Gator shakes his head, jaw tight. "You don't get it, Dot. I'm not...I'm not good like you keep saying. The shit that goes through my head sometimes…”

He trails off, shame burning hot in his gut. He can't even bring himself to say it out loud. But with Dot he doesn’t need to. 

She was there through the worst of it. She’s seen the worst of him. Shit Billy knows about, but hasn’t seen. Hasn’t really lived it, the way Dot had to live it, and maybe that’s why Gator’s been fucking everything up. 

Maybe he’s trying to see once and for all whether or not someone who isn’t trauma bonded to him will stay once they see him for what he really is.

"I know I'm fucked up, alright? I know I got a long way to go before I'm anything close to the kinda sub Billy deserves.” He tries to shrug off the admission like the words aren’t sending pain twisting inside him like a knife.

But Dot, perceptive as always, cups Gator's face, turning him back to meet her gentle gaze. "Oh honey... Is that what this is about? You want Billy to collar you?"

Gator's breath hitches. Hearing it stated so plainly sends a jolt through him, equal parts longing and terror. He jerks away from Dot's touch, arms wrapping defensively around himself.

"No! I mean... Fuck, I don't know," he stammers, the words tangling on his tongue.

Dot is quiet for a long moment, letting his confession settle heavily between them. When she speaks again, her tone is thoughtful.

"Have you talked to Billy about this? About wanting his collar?"

Gator barks out a harsh laugh. "No. No fuckin' way. He'd probably laugh in my face if I did.”

Dot's brow furrows, her eyes shadowed with concern as she clicks her tongue in admonishment. "I don’t believe you really think that for a second. That Billy would laugh at you for expressing your needs."

Gator's shoulders hunch, defensive. He keeps his gaze fixed resolutely on the mixing bowl in the sink, watching the dregs of batter slowly dissolve under the running tap. The sweet scent of vanilla and butter hangs heavy in the air, incongruously cheerful.

"I didn't say I needed it," he mutters. "I'm just sayin'... a guy like me askin' for a collar. It's funny right? Like, I’m not some needy bitch who needs a collar to keep from dropping, and I don’t need Billy thinking he gets to boss me around more than he already does. Guy’s an absolute control freak."

"Uh-huh and you love it. I've seen the two of you together. The way Billy is with you... It's special. He'd move heaven and earth to make you happy. To give you what you need." Dot says. Her voice is soft but sure.

Gator swallows thickly, his eyes stinging. He blinks rapidly, determined not to let the tears building behind his lids fall. "Sure. Why hasn’t he done it then? I’d put that shit down in two seconds, but he hasn’t even tried. Y’know?"

And the reason why is obvious. Yeah, there’s the fact that Gator doesn’t need a collar, but even if he wanted one he’s too much work, too damaged.

Dot sighs heavily, like he said the last part out loud.

"Honestly Honey, I think you should think about it from his perspective. With the way you talk about it... He may not realize how much this would mean to you. Billy does a good job, making sense of what’s going on in that squirrel head of yours but he’s not superman. Talk to him.”

Gator grunts noncommittally. Because hell no. He will not be begging his dom to collar him any time soon thanks, but he doesn’t want her to worry either. 

Dot says she has to get Scotty home in time to start dinner and he follows her out to the front door where Scotty is waiting with Dot's purse and her school bag. He sees them off with a wave and a promise to attend some talent show at Scotty’s school next week. Dot gives him a kiss on the cheek, urges him to talk to Billy one more time and reminds him that her mother-in-law knows the president, and really can get Billy thrown in the gulag if he really does laugh in Gator’s face.

And then he’s alone. Alone with his thoughts. Which is frankly the best way to be. Gator can think much more clearly about this now that Dot’s not here, reminding him of the past and making him feel weaker than he actually is. He can totally still salvage this situation. He’ll just make the cake really impressive. Like those 3D ones that look like real shit? Billy loves to chill with him on the weekend and watch that show where people try and guess which random item is cake or not. Gator’s usually tied up, plugged or gagged when that happens so his memories are a little hazy - but it doesn’t look that hard. It’s just cake right?

When the timer goes off Gator brings the cake out of the oven.

He whips out his phone and starts scrolling through cake decorating videos on YouTube, determined to find something suitably impressive. His eyes light up when he spots a tutorial for a realistic 3D surfboard cake, uploaded by some fruit calling himself Barry Bakes. He doesn’t really want to take advice from some dude with pink hair, a full face of makeup, wearing a sparkly crop top with the word TWINK encrusted on the front, but the cake is undeniably badass.

"Alright, let's do this," Gator mutters, cracking his knuckles. He fast forwards through the beginning of the video, impatient to get to the good stuff.

First step - carving the cakes into a surfboard shape. Easy enough. Gator grabs a serrated knife and starts hacking away at the layers, tongue poking out the corner of his mouth in concentration. Crumbs fly everywhere as he saws off uneven chunks. When he's done, he steps back to survey his work. It...sort of looks like a surfboard. If you squint. And tilt your head to the side.

Next up - the "ocean" frosting. Gator mixes a batch of blue buttercream, dumping in what is probably way too much food coloring, but whatever at least he softened the butter without blowing up the microwave this time.

Gator continues to follow along with Barry Bakes' tutorial, growing increasingly frustrated as each step seems to go awry. The blue buttercream frosting he mixed up is a garish turquoise color from the excessive food dye. It's also too thin and runny, dripping off the cake in gloopy rivulets.

He blames Barry, that fucking fruit, because if he weren’t so hell bent on turning everything into some kinda innuendo maybe Gator could actually concentrate on what he is doing!

"Shit shit shit," Gator grumbles under his breath, frantically trying to smooth the messy frosting over the lopsided surfboard shape he carved. It's a losing battle. The cake looks like a melted smurf.

Next, Barry cheerfully pipes delicate white frosting swirls and curls to create realistic seafoam on his perfectly smooth blue surfboard. Reminding the audience that big tips are better for piping, and everybody loves a good pipe.

Gator glares at the screen. His own piping bag is loaded with frosting that's somehow both too stiff and too drippy at the same time. When he tries to pipe, it comes out in sad, deflated spurts. He can only imagine what Barry would have to say about that.

"Motherf-!" Gator bites off the curse, chucking the piping bag down on the counter. This was a stupid idea. He's no baker, who was he kidding? He should've just bought Billy a damn gift card like a normal person.

Dejected, Gator slumps against the counter, hanging his head. Failure churns in his gut, sharp and nauseating. He can't give this monstrosity to Billy. He just can’t. Can’t bear to watch him try to hide his disappointment.

Frustrated and embarrassed, Gator gives up on trying to salvage the cake. In a fit of pique, he grabs a spatula and starts roughly shaping the blue frosted mess, not even bothering to smooth it out anymore. He carves angry slashes and gouges into the cake's surface with the edge of the spatula.

Before he even fully realizes what he's doing, the cake has taken on a new, crude shape under his hands - a lumpy, misshapen hand with the middle finger extended in an unmistakable gesture of "fuck you".

Gator steps back, breathing hard, and stares at his handiwork. The hand is far from anatomically correct, with uneven sausage-like fingers and a palm that curves at an odd angle. Globs of sticky frosting cling to the digits in gloopy turquoise clumps. The raised middle finger lists slightly to the side, like it's too heavy to hold itself up properly.

It's possibly the ugliest cake Gator has ever seen. So ugly it crosses the line twice and becomes perversely impressive in its sheer awfulness. A surprised, slightly unhinged laugh bubbles up from his chest as he takes it in.

This is what he has to show for his efforts. This fuck-ugly, lewd gesture of a cake, cobbled together from the dregs of his failure. It suits him.

“Yeah don’t know what the fuck else I expected.” Gator grumbles, despondent. He goes to the fridge to fetch a beer and tabs it open roughly, determined to drink thoughts of the stupid cake away. 

He’s not crying over cake like some lame ass. It’s whatever. It’ll probably still taste good, and if Billy doesn’t like it he can throw it in the trash. They’ll order a pizza or something and Gator will ride him till his dick goes numb and call it a night. Happy birthday.

Gator stomps to the bedroom he and Billy share and pulls out the trunk where he keeps his hunting gear from under the bed, because it’s been awhile since he polished his knives and that always helps lift his mood. He takes the trunk out to the living room and gets to work. Ques up his workout playlist on his phone and connects it to the TV so he can put it on blast.

It helps a little. Allows him time not to think. But the time gets away from him, because he doesn’t even hear the sound of the front door opening and closing. 

Billy's entrance is marked by the faint scrape of his boots against the hardwood floor as he turns the corner into the living room. He pauses briefly, taking in the scene before him—Gator, surrounded by an array of gleaming knives, his trunk spilling open on the coffee table, and the ear splitting rifts of heavy metal blaring from the television speakers.

A faint smile tugs at Billy's lips as the dom sets down his bag and sheds his leather jacket, revealing the broad contours of his chest hugged by a tight white T-shirt. The room is thick with the scent of metal and leather, a comforting familiarity that wraps around Billy like a second skin. He approaches Gator slowly, noiselessly, his gaze fixed not on the array of blades but on the man holding them as gently as baby chicks.

Billy casts a long shadow across the coach and Gator finally notices him. He jumps up, fumbling the knife in his hands which clatters to the floor. The music crescendos, a dramatic backdrop to the moment. Gator lowers the volume, and whips around to glare at Billy who laughs at the fright he gave him.

“Hey, Baby Gay.”

“Don’t call me that!” Gator snaps. “And don’t sneak up on me. I was like, this close to killing you!”

“Oh?” Billy arches a mocking brow. “Probably shouldn’t have dropped the knife then.”

“Haha. Very funny asshole. You’re lucky I did,” Gator grumbles in reply, bending down to pick up the fallen knife. “You know how sharp one of these babies are? With one o’ these I can cut through the shell on a coconut just like that.”

He flicks his wrist to demonstrate the ease with which he could peel Billy’s flesh off, and Billy gives him this look - like Gator is just fucking adorable - and it’s god damn condescending, is what it is. But it also makes the back of Gator’s neck tingle with awareness, and his dick try to get hard. So yeah.

It’s probably a good thing that Billy’s so distracted anyway. Because swearing at his dom is firmly against their rules on account of the fact that Gator uses it as some kinda defense mechanism to keep Billy at arms length.

Or that’s what Billy said anyway when he made the stupid rule. Gator doesn’t make the rules here, he just follows them.

“I’ll count myself lucky then. I think I’ll get a beer. You want one killer?” Billy asks, already on his way to the kitchen. 

FUCK! The Kitchen. Gator remembers too late that he forgot to clean up and do something with that awful cake and scampers after him.

Billy strides into the kitchen before Gator can stop him.

His stomach knots as Billy pauses, his gaze landing on the misshapen dessert surrounded by strewn icing bags, crumbs and powdered sugar. Slowly a grin spreads across Billy's face, and blue eyes sparkle as he turns to look at Gator, where he lingers hesitantly in the kitchen doorway.

"Is this cake trying to tell me something?" he teases, amusement rich in his voice. He leans forward slightly to inspect the cake more closely. "Is this your way of telling me you don’t want to sixty-nine later, or is it a failed science experiment? Hard to tell."

Gator feels heat rush to his face, embarrassment mixed with irritation bubbling in his chest. He knows Billy is just poking fun, yet it stings, tapping into that deep-seated insecurity instilled by years under his father's critical eye.

"Scotty was here with Dot and it gave us something to do. That’s all," Gator mumbles defensively, his words sharper than intended. Then, unable to stop the words from tumbling out recklessly, he adds, "Just thought it would be nice to share, but you don’t have to have any if you’re just going to be an asshole."

As soon as the words are out, Gator regrets them. Swearing at Billy is one thing, but lying to him breaks one of their most cardinal rules. It’s not just about respect; it’s about trust.

Billy’s expression shifts subtly; the playful light in his eyes dims as he adopts a more serious demeanor. He closes the distance between them with measured steps. "Gator," he says softly yet firmly, "That’s the second time you’ve pulled that tonight. Watch it.”

Gator snaps his mouth shut and fumes silently, hanging his head. God, Billy sounds so disappointed in him and it’s worse than he even imagined.He wants to puke.

“Did Scotty really make this?” Billy asks, and Gator can tell just from his tone that Billy already knows the answer, but he’s waiting for Gator to fess up to it. Gator shakes his head, hot tears stinging at his eyes that he blinks away as rapidly as he can.

“It’s for you.” He confesses, feeling a weight lift off his chest despite his overall misery. “I made it for your birthday, and you made fun of it.”

“I did.” Billy acknowledges too easily for Gators liking, but before he can say anything Billy goes on. “I could have handled that better. You’re right. But before we get to that, don’t you have anything to say to me?”

“No. Can’t think of anything.” Gator immediately denies, because how is it fair that he has to apologize for a little white lie when he only did it in the first place because he knew Billy was going to laugh. He knew it.

“Oh?” Billy’s face is impassive but he’s unhappy with Gators answer. It crackles in the air between them. “Do you need a reminder of the rules?"

Gator swallows hard, defiance battling with remorse inside him. He shrugs stiffly, avoiding Billy’s gaze. “Let's just forget it. I don’t need a lecture right now.”

“I’ll decide whether you do or not.” Billy’s tone is calm but carries an undeniable edge of authority—one that sends shivers down Gator’s spine and fear bolting through him all at once. “You know, I was looking forward to a nice night with my boy. Didn’t know I was coming home to a brat.”

Gator ignores the voice inside that screams for him to stop stop stop, barreling ahead in desperate angry defiance.

“Fuck you and what you want! Maybe I want a boyfriend who knows how to lighten up huh?  Sorry I’m not your perfect little bitch. Go cry about it to someone else!” 

His insides shake from the fear and lingering tension. Gator has just royally pissed off his dom. It’s in Billy’s eyes and the slow exhale of breath he takes. Punishment is inevitable. Gator longs to take it back but he can’t - can never take it back - and nothing will fix it. Or fix him. He’s all wrong inside and nothing works no matter how hard he tries.

But the thing is, Billy is safe.

Billy is angry and Gator is terrified and trembling but It’s nothing like it was before, in his father’s house. When the fear of a hand went bone deep and lived in his nightmares.

Gator loves Billy’s hands. They way they touch him. The way they hold him fast and glue him back together. They’ve never let him down those hands, which is why Gator is shaking like a leaf right now, terrified that they won’t reach for him.

He didn’t yell those things at Billy because he wants more space. It’s stupid, he knows, but he yelled them because he needs Billy to take over. He can’t stop himself running full speed ahead toward a punishment. Billy will straighten him out. He can trust Billy to know what to do even when he’s lost sense of which way he’s turned.

Gator’s dom considers him for a long moment, the silence stretching taut between them.

“Go in our room and get me a paddle.” Billy finally orders. Then, deliberately turning away, he starts rummaging through the kitchen cupboards - no doubt in his mind apparently that Gator will obey him.

Of course he does. Knees shaking, Gator stumbles out of the kitchen because now that he’s driven them to this point his skin is crawling with the need to make it right. He’s aching with the need to be good so bad his knees feel like jelly and it’s everything he can do just to follow the order. He wants to hit the floor - go to his belly and plead for his dom’s forgiveness but that’s not what Billy asked for.

He will be good. He’ll make Billy forget that mouthy idiot who talked back and clearly had shit for brains. He can be such a good boy. The best boy! Just give him a chance and he’ll come wagging his fucking tail.

It’s pathetic.

But it’s also a relief, when he returns to the kitchen a few minutes later with a paddle from their toy chest and sets it on the table and Billy acknowledges it with an approving nod.

“Good boy.” he says, and Gator’s knees buckle. He catches himself on the table, holds himself up with palms pressed firmly to the wood because Billy hasn’t told him to kneel yet. He forces himself to focus on Billy as the dom takes an empty glass vase inexplicably sitting next to a bag of rice on the table, and places it on the floor between their feet.

Gator watches warily as next, Billy grabs the open bag of rice and tilts it sending a stream of white grains cascading down onto the tile. He stops when the bag is empty and kneels briefly to stir through them gently with his fingers before straightening and meeting Gator’s eyes again.

“Pants off.” he orders, and Gator sucks in a breath. He doesn’t have to ask why, and doesn’t bother, cheeks hot with shame as he reaches for his belt and gets to work.

"On the floor," BIlly commands softly, when Gator is down to his underwear. The dom points to the pile of rice on the floor.

"Kneel."

And Gator folds like fucking cake batter, sweet sweet relief coursing through his veins. He puts himself at Billy’s feet where he belongs, where he wants to be and shudders, biting his lip to stop himself from begging for the dom’s touch. He hasn’t earned that. Doesn’t make him want it less, but he can be good for Billy and prove when he remembers how.

Billy picks up the paddle that Gator chose – sleek and dark, crafted from polished walnut. As Gator settles on his haunches, head lowered in submission.

“You picked the heavy one. My favorite.” Billy remarks. “That why you picked it, or do you just really need to feel it tonight? You can answer.”

“Want to feel it.” Gator licks his lips. “Want you to be happy.”

“Good boy.” Billy says, leaving Gator to wonder which he is pleased with: that Gator wants his ass beat so raw he can’t sit or Gator wanting those things because they please his dom?

“Alright Baby, are you listening? I want you to pick those up and put them in the vase. Count each one,” Billy instructs, motioning toward the scatter of grains. His voice is firm. It brooks no argument.

Gator looks down at the nearly indistinguishable mass of tiny grains and feels a rush of frustration. "All of them?" His voice is a mix of incredulity and unease. What if he can’t do it? What if he can’t be good and Billy is disappointed in him again?

“Every last one Baby boy," Billy confirms with an implacable nod. “Don’t think about it. It’s not your job right now to think. Just do what I ask you to do. Can you do that?”

Gator takes a deep breath, steadies himself on the sound of Billy’s voice and nods. He can do that. He can follow Billy’s instructions. He doesn’t have to worry about ho much rice there is or whether he can even find it all. That’s not his to worry about. Not his place. He just has to listen. 

He reaches out shakily to touch the closest grain, his voice barely audible as he starts, “One… two… three…” His fingers tremble slightly; counting each grain feels like an impossible task. But Billy never sets him up for failure - not the way his dad used to. Billy doesn’t ask him to do things he’s not capable of just to fail. He asks Gator for things he knows he can do, and if he fails anyway it’s because Billy wants to be there when he breaks. He won’t leave Gator laden with shame and misery that will eat away at his insides.

As Gator focuses on the rice, Billy steps behind him. Without warning, he brings the paddle down gently but firmly across Gator's backside. The sound cracks sharply in the air, followed by another count from Gator's lips that judders from the impact.

“Four… five…”

Billy administers each swat in time with Gator’s counting—methodical and paced.

The pain is not harsh but it accumulates with each slap—the stinging warmth spreading across Gator’s skin contrasting starkly with the coolness of the floor beneath his knees and hands. Tears prickle at Gator’s eyes as he continues—his voice breaks around “twenty-nine… thirty…” 

It’s more than just physical pain; it's a release valve for all he’s been holding inside. Every impact sends ripples through him, but it’s not just his body. It does something to his soul too that he can’t explain. Something he no longer wants to deny.

“Let it out,” Billy murmurs close to his ear between paddles—a soothing contrast to the sharp swats.

“Thirty-one… thirty-two…” The numbers start blurring together as sobs hitch in his throat. The task which seemed merely frustrating at first now feels poignant— slowly, bit by bit, Gator cleans up the mess on the floor, and swat by swat Billy cleans up the mess inside. He doesn’t hit Gator after every grain, that would be excessive. He takes breaks at interment periods, spacing them out so that it’s impossible for Gator to try and guess when he might start up again. The fresh sting whenever he does is brutal, worse in some ways than if he had just continued until Gator’s cheeks were numb.

“Two-hundred and ten…” 

Billy pauses, placing his hand gently on Gator's shoulder as he surveys his progress.

"You’re doing well," he encourages softly, and that little praise, that nothing bit of touch, is enough to break him. Gator chokes on a sob, hot tears spilling down his cheeks despite his best efforts to hold them in.

“Keep going.” Billy reminds him and Gator nods emphatically, tears dripping off his chin, because he hadn’t meant to stop. He was doing so well. Billy said so. He’ll never stop. Not until Billy tells him too.

With shaking hands Gator pinches grains of rice between his fingers and continues to count aloud between sobs and hits from the paddle—each number spoken is more than just an acknowledgement of rice grains; but of his submission to Billy. 

Billy’s little murmurs of praise and sounds of pleasure make him feel high. Like his head is floating in the clouds.

He loves subspace. Wishes it were easier for him to reach and he didn’t have to be taken down so hard. But finally he feels the familiar edges of it and the tears fall faster as he lets himself go.

Gator sinks into the feeling of weightlessness as it rises up to take him. Billy maintains a rhythm that is both firm and considerate, attuned to Gator's responses—his body language, his breathing, his blown out pupils and slurred speech. 

This is no longer about punishment. It’s a guided breakdown.

As Gator’s cries begin to subside into quiet murmurs and his ability to speak leaves him, Billy lessens the intensity of his strikes until he stops altogether. 

“That’s enough. You were beautiful Baby.” Billy halts Gator’s hands woozly still trying to lift rice and the sub sags against him. “You’re always so good for me baby boy.”

He brushes his fingertips along Gator's heated skin, tracing the raised welts along his buttocks and thighs softly, and making him shiver. Gator’s mouth stretches in a dopey lopsided smile, beaming from inside and out. He soars. Works his mouth to ask Billy to do it again - he can take more - but can’t get past the mushmouth.

The room is heavy with the scent of sweat and leather, the only sound now the quiet thud of Billy’s heart and Gator’s shaky breaths.

Hands roam over Gator’s back and legs, soft, soothing caresses that glide over his flushed skin. Billy leans close, his breath warm against the nape of Gator’s neck, whispering reassurances that float through his head like feathers.

The shift is gentle, a tender transition as Gator's breathing evens out and his trembling subsides. Billy’s hands are confident, knowing exactly where to touch to bring Gator back from the intense high of subspace. With each calculated stroke on his back and whisper against his ear, Gator feels the ground slowly come back under him, the weightlessness dissipating as reality takes hold once more.

Billy finally eases back, giving space for Gator to gather himself in the afterglow of their session. He cups Gator’s face tenderly, wiping away the trails left by tears with his thumbs. 

“Talk to me, Gator. What’s been eating at you?”

The use of his real name pulls Gator further out of his dazed state. He blinks slowly, focusing on Billy’s concerned face, grounding himself. “I... I’m scared,” he admits, voice still hoarse.

“Scared of what?” Billy probes gently, petting the long side of Gator’s hair now.

“I’m scared I’m not enough for you,” he confesses, dropping his gaze to where their fingers are entwined. He knows the words will hurt Billy. Make his dominant frown in the middle of his brow and start thinking of all the ways Neil Hargrove used to tell him he was a waste of space - too broken and wrong to ever take proper care of a sub. Nothing could be further from the truth. But if there’s one thing Gator knows it’s daddy issues and how they can haunt you.

But to his surprise Billy’s expression doesn’t change. He just nods quietly, still petting Gator’s hair. “Why would you think that?”

Gator hesitates, lips parting but no sound coming out. He swallows hard and shrugs.

“Listen to me Baby.” Billy says after a moment, fisting Gator’s hair between his fingers and tugging until he brings his eyes up. “You’re what I want. You. Even when you’re being a greasy dirtbag leaving your shit everywhere and blaring your candyass music.”

“Hey, lay off my Skyfire man.” Gator can’t help but smile, because Billy’s lips have curved up in amusement and they’ve had this argument a dozen times or more and it just makes him feel so good, that Billy pays attention to which albums he gravitates to depending on his moods. “They aren’t candy. Fractal is the best album produced since Reign In Blood.”

“Why are we talking about fucking Slayer, or Skyfire, right now when Ride the Lightning exists?” Billy growls, tugging on Gator’s hair until his scalp stings just the sweetest bit. “I should beat your ass again just for that.“

“Yeah. If you wanna.” he pants, eager, and Billy’s smiling mouth kisses him, hot and hungry. Billy licks into Gator’s mouth, possessive and sweeping, until he whimpers. The dom nips at his plump lower lip with a grin before pulling back.

“Don’t think you realize how sore you’re gonna be when you come down off this high babe.” He says. “But you heard me right? When I said I loved you? Cause I do. I wasn’t about to lose you before over shitty timing, and I’d never let anything take you from me now. Not Dot. Not him. Not anyone or anything. Okay?”

Gator shivers, but even the mention of his father can’t intrude on the blanket of safety Billy has woven around him, the sure way his gaze holds Gator and rings with truth.

“Yeah.” he sighs, breathless.

“Yeah?”

But it’s not good enough, according to Billy’s tightening grip. And fuck that feels good. Gator is suddenly aware of how hard he is in his briefs, but it’s strangely distant. Like he’d be happy to just sit here hard for another hour or more, letting Billy play with him.

“Yes Billy.”

“Good boy.” Billy's voice is soft, infused with a warmth that seeps into Gator's bones, coaxing his tight muscles to loosen.The room around them—their living room with its deep blue walls and plush gray couches— disappears momentarily, focusing all existence on their intimate bubble.

Billy lifts Gator’s chin so their eyes meet. "Nah nah, stay up for me Baby boy. I need you present." His thumbs brush under Gator’s eyes, rubbing warmth into his skin while he waits for Gator’s eyes to focus. "I think it’s time I show you something," Billy continues, when Gator’s gaze is clear once more.

"In the bedroom," Billy instructs softly, "In my sock drawer, there's a small white box. I want you to go and bring it to me."

Gator feels a jolt run through him. It shocks him rather unpleasantly back to reality, like he’s been dropped from a short height.

“Wait what?” he tries to ask, tries to think, because Billy can’t be hinting at what his muddled brain is trying to convince him he is. Can he?

“Shh. Don’t ask questions.” Billy warns. “And absolutely no peeking either. Just go get it.”

Gator’s movements are slow and automatic as he stands and makes his way down the hallway. This isn’t happening. Well obviously it is, he is on his way to their bedroom to open Billy’s drawer - which is strictly hands off unless he has permission - and get some mysterious box. But it’s probably like some new toy they can enjoy together. Maybe Billy went out and finally got those chains Gator found on that web store, the ones with the studs that dig into your wrists the more you struggle? He’s going to feel so owned wearing those. It’s gonna be great.

He’s convinced himself down off the ledge by the time he gets to the bedroom, but his heart hasn’t gotten the memo because it starts going double time in his chest as he reaches for Billy’s drawer. It slips open smoothly under his fingers which are trembling slightly. From fear or excitement, he isn't sure.

Inside lies a small white box, unassuming in its simplicity yet Gator just stands there and stares at it like it’s a bomb for a full minute before lifting it from its nest among Billy's socks. The weight of potential futures presses down upon him as he clutches the box in his hands.

He should be a good boy. He can just turn and go back into the living room and - Fuck it! Gator’s not kidding anyone. Least of all himself.

Before he knows it, Gator has torn off the ribbon and lifted the lid on the box to peek inside.

And there lies a beautiful black leather collar, its surface smooth and flawless except for the bold engraving of 'GATOR' studded across it in shining silver letters.

Gator stares at it in disbelief, eyes flooding with fresh tears. His heart trips over itself in his chest, thrumming against his ribcage like a caged bird desperate for flight.

The room is silent except for the sound of Gator's shallow, ragged breathing. Gator runs his fingers over the cool, shining letters that form his name, the studs scraping against the pads of his fingers sending tingles through him.

He lifts the collar, feeling its weight in his hands. It's heavier than it looks. He brings it closer, inhaling deeply—the leather smells rich and earthy. It’s the good shit. Supple and strong enough to take some serious pull, and yet the inside of the collar is lined with soft velvet, ensuring his comfort.

Something white resting on the blue lining of the box catches Gator’s eye. It’s a folded card, its crisp edge nearly taller than the sides of the box. Gently plucking it up, Gator flicks it open and scans, eyes widening at the one word message inside.

Peeker!

An unexpected burst of laughter escapes him as he wipes away tears. The simple word on the card speaks volumes, but so does Billy’s presence in their bedroom doorway where Gator finds him leaning when he looks up.

Billy is gazing at Gator with an intense mixture of emotions.

"Do you like it?" he asks, and there’s something like worry there. As if Gator might actually have shit for brains and do all that stupid stuff he’d told Dot he’d do back when he was scared shitless. All because he’d convinced himself that Billy wasn’t true - that he’d disappear like every other good thing has.

“Yeah.” Gator sniffs through his red nose, rubbing fiercely at his eyes. “Shit man. How long have you had this?”

“Since right after your birthday actually.” Billy confesses with an easy shrug. Like he isn’t just standing there admitting that he bought a collar for Gator and has been hanging onto it since September.

“Billy! It’s fucking March!”

“I know! I thought if I forbid you from going through my drawer eventually you would. I know what you’re like.” Billy said. Meaning of course he knows that no matter what, Gator eventually messes up.

But Billy says, “I guess I underestimated what a good boy I’ve got, huh?” with this soft look in his eye, like he’s looking at the best sight in the world and not his fuckup boyfriend standing in the middle of their bedroom in his tighty-whities.

Gator might be melting a little, which is why he has to sit down heavily on the bed before he crumples.

“Hey Billy?”

“Yeah, Babe?”

“I’m your sub…” Gator begins and Billy laughs, the sound loud and full of joy instead of mockery.

“No shit?”

“Come on, Billy please. Don’t be mean.” Gator whines, lifting the hand still holding the collar wordlessly and Billy finally takes pity on him and crosses the room to take it from him. Gator trembles, straightening up and bending his neck a little to give Billy room as he claps it on. He gasps a little, shuddering when Billy leans back and the heavy weight settles against his skin.

"You’re my sub," Billy repeats with finality."With or without this. But when you wear this, I want you to remember," he pauses for effect, letting his fingers softly caress down Gator’s neck and over the dark leather. "You’re my gift. The love you give me, makes me Gator, and I thank whatever lucky stars I’ve got that you came into my life when you did. Okay?"

A simple nod is all Gator manages in response; it’s all that’s needed. The smile that spreads across Billy's face is radiant—as if a piece has clicked into place within him too.

Carefully, lovingly, Billy cradles his chin and pulls him into a kiss.

It tastes sweet… like buttercream icing.

[ace-lesbionage]

Just imagine Hades, not long after meeting his nephew Perseus Jackson, being called by the judges because there was something he should see.

Imagine his face as he saw every moment: from when Gabe was born, when he met Sally (and began abusing her), when he met Percy (and began abusing him, too), to the moment that Gabe Ugliano was turned to stone.

Imagine him noticing a gleam in the eyes of Sally Jackson as she gave Gabe the box. The very same gleam that was in his own mother’s eyes as she had plotted their father’s downfall. He similarities between the situations and he doesn’t like it. (He ensures that Sally Jackson gets more than the statue was worth when she sells it; after all, he could respect how she handled the situation.)

He may not show that he cares for his family, but he does. And, in the brief time that he had known of his nephew, he had grown begrudgingly fond of his brother’s youngest demigod child.

Then he looks at Gabe. This mortal had hurt his nephew, who had looked at him and called him uncle, the hours later had fought Ares one-on-one and won. So this mortal wanted to hurt his family? He knows that he will pay for the rest of eternity.

Imagine this happening with every child abuser. He hates those. Every single one goes to the Fields of Punishment.

[olympusrox]

WHY ARE ALL THE BG3 COMPANIONS SO TRAUMA

gale was groomed from a young boy by mystra

astarion was forced to use his body to bring his slaver victims

karlach was sold by the person she worked for and trusted with her life (ironic)

shart got manipulated and gaslighted into joining a cult of the direct opposite beliefs to what she grew up with and was made to erase her memories to serve shars whims and keep her secrets

Laezel got manipulated her whole life into believing that Fantasy Cronus (haha yk cuz he consumed his kids and they ended up killing him as revenge) was the only thing that she needed in life and was shielded from the outside world (another point - her and shart are diff sides of the same coin)

Wyll got forced into a pact to save his city and then his father rejected him and turned him away when he needed him most

Minthara got manipulated by orin and the cult and was abused by her

Minsc got abandoned by his bsf pookiebear no1 gal and then was manipulated (heavy word for minsc it wasnt that big it was just. Fake Jaheira: hey come w me and do what i say. Minsc: Where you go i goooo, What you see i seeeee) but yeah

Jaheira's hubby dies idk when and she had to leave her kids, leave her bsf pookiebear no1 gal and then finds out that said bsf pookiebear no1 gal was being manipulated by a shapeshifter to kill ppl in the cults name (theres so much more for Jaheira but i havent played the first 2 games sorry guyz so idk)

Halsins chillin idk tbh

[darth-emerald]

My thoughts on the Wilbur Soot allegations

I support Shubble 100%, though we shouldn't just attack Wilbur until we know that he was the abuser for sure. I just hope that if this is true and the allegations are found correct, that Wilbur is getting the help he needs, though it doesn't justify his supposed actions. This doesn't, however justify the harassment, doxing, and death threats. Even if he is an abuser, he is still a human being and no one deserves that.

[wxnheart]

Simon has his moments whether you know it or not.

His father's words ring like echoes he can't escape from and no matter how hard he tries, he can't help but second-guess himself when it comes to you.

Being a soldier is a hell of a lot easier than being in a relationship. There are absolutes—sureties—and direction, and the twitch of the trigger finger or a shadow cast over the enemy's eyes was all the decision necessary between life and death.

But off the field with you, there's nuance, shades of grey darker and deeper than anything that's been thrown at him before, and he thinks of his parents. He thinks of his dad, a black hole of misery and hate, never offering a kind word and lashing out at the thought that his sons would even think to be better than him. Simon thinks of his mother and how he watched the light in her eyes dim over the years, watched as the cherished floral perfume and cheeky grin became a fleeting memory because the miserable fuck would rather have a soulless husk for a wife than the proud woman who could and would challenge him, and he fears becoming like his father. And every day he fights that battle and wonders if he'll ever win the war.

He thinks you could do better. Fuck, he knows you can. He isn't the most attractive nor is he the most personable. Bloody hell, he still freezes up whenever you surprise him with a hug or kiss—Simon's thoughts linger on these more than they abso-fucking-lutely should.

But then he sees your smile and the brightness in your eyes so unlike his mother's. He sees you being yourself unashamed, and the way you shower him with affection makes him feel like the most special motherfucker on the planet. He remembers when you first called him by his name and for once he didn't feel the dread or hear the lingering threat behind it.

So yeah, Simon fears becoming like his father. He fears it and fights that battle every fucking day, but you... because of you...

Shit, you're all the more reason for him to win that goddamn war.

[luneemeritus]

This scene is so sad for Angel. As someone who already has several trust issues, he finds out there is a traitor in the Hotel, that is working for the Vees (one of them is his rapist/abuser, Velvette other made the love potion that is used to abuse him, and Vox putted more than 5 cameras in his room, it's literally Hell), is slutshamed by the traitor and attacked with a psychodelic confusion, something he is unfortunately used to (be drugged against his will is probably a similar sensation). It's twice sad because moments ago, Vaggie and Charlie literally told Angel AT HIS FUCKING FACE that he "wasn't trying" and that Pentious was "truly interested".

When I say Charlie wants to help but doesn't know how, I mean it. The first person who actually understood and helped Angel was Husk.

[kevin-ibw]

About Valentino's Outfits

TW: Mentions of Abuse

As you all know, the majority of the time, Val is on screen. He seems to have fishnets with a skirt. Episode 4 was the only time we got to see him dressed up professionally with pants. Sure, it's kind of funny when you think about it, but I personally think there might be a reason why that's might be the case.

Looking at this from a writer's perspective, I'm pretty sure the reason why they made him dress like this, is because so we can take him seriously, especially since after we got a reveal of his full body for the first time, the abuse scene happens. Think about it, we never see Val wear these golden rings and finger claws before up until this episode, and it dissappears afterward.

I'm not saying that anyone with fishnets or a skirt can't be intimidating, but for Val's case specifically I think this outfit change was sort of needed even if it was for a single episode, cause to many Hazbin Hotel fans that weren't here prior to the pilot days, they wouldn't have know WHO Val is to Angel. The first peak of him was episode 2, and he throws a tantrum because, apparently, getting your own apartment is illegal.

His entire look in this episode brings out the pimp vibe he's supposed to have, cause I'l have to be honest and say that Val's current look with plain long red coat mostly looks like a costume. The new outfit is supposed to reinforce the fact that, yes, this man is a dramatic sack of shit worse than dirt. He became an overlord for a reason, and it's by abusing his employees and giving everyone sexual gratification through his films.

Another thing is the inconsistency with his shoulders.

On the left, they're much broader, making him look intimidating compared to the right. Sure, the fur might play into a factor, but isn't the case considering that the third pic has his fur almost cover his entire shoulders, yet still look very wide.

The context that happens in the episodes also proves my point, since in EP 4, Val threw Angel around, threatening him and making him work overnight, not giving him a chance to fight back at all. Whilst EP 6, Angel stands his ground and didn't allow himself to be pushed around because they're not within the studio's premise.

Because I know some people lack media literacy, this post is by no means discouraging people from drawing Val in certain outfits, I'm just a weirdo on the internet over analyzing something because I felt like it.

[inlovewithpandora]

- I’m Tired Pt.3 -

This is the final part!

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 (here)

Navagation || Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Taglist

This series was inspired by the song above^

Pairing: Neteyam × Omatikaya fem!reader

Both Characters are 19!

Warnings: some angst, mentions of suicide, mentions of physical abuse, mentions of death (let me know if I missed any)

If your uncomfortable with this type of writing please click off!

Word count: 4.7k

Authors Note: I want to thank everyone who has been supporting this mini-series from the beginning! I appreciate all the support and love you guys have shown me! I hope all you continue to support me on my future works💗!

Glossary: ‘itan - son || ‘ite - daughter || yawntutsyìp - darling (or little loved one) || tìyawn - love

When Neteyam found you on the cave floor he took you to the healing pod where his grandmother would heal the wounded. When Moat saw Neteyam carry you in with blood running down your arm and with bruises all over you she could almost feel the pain that was inflicted upon you.

Moat put herbs on your wound and wrapped leaves around your arm that were coated with medical serum. She then put a paste over your bruises so they could eventually vanish. As Neteyam watched Moat work on you he felt a wave of deep sorrow go through him. All he could think about was seeing you bleeding out on the cave floor. All he could see was the blood staining the ground as it dripped down your thigh. He knew he shouldn't have gone hunting today, he knew he should've stayed home with you. He regretted leaving your side.

"Grandmother, is she going to be okay? Is she gonna die?" he said almost in a whisper hoping that he wouldn't hear bad news

"No but right now she is with Eywa" Moat said calmly while still tending to your wounds

"What do you mean with Eywa?" Neteyam asked confusedly. He didn't understand how you weren't dead but you were with Eywa

"Y/N is getting the answers she needs" Moat told him not wanting to give him any more details. She knew what was happening in the spiritual realm but she thought it was best for you to share your experience once you woke up.

"How long will be before she wakes up?"

"It could be days or weeks. It all depends on how her soul and body responds"

Neteyam just nodded his head, taking in everything his grandmother told him. He bent down beside you, grabbed your hand and held it against his cheek, "Y/N please come back to me, I need you. I can't do this life without you" He told you while tears ran down his face and onto your hand.

Neteyam didn't know when you were going to wake up but he wasn't going to leave your side until your eyes fluttered open.

It's been almost a week since Neteyam and Jake found you in the cave. Neteyam hasn't left your side unless he necessary. He has been giving you around the clock care. He’s been making sure to keep you hydrated by brushing a cloth of freshwater over your lips every hour on the dot. Instead of sleeping he watched over every night, hoping you would miraculously wake up.

Everyone kept telling him he needed to relax, that he needed to go home. Take some time and gather himself. But how could he manage to do that when the love of his life was in between life and death.

Jake and Neytiri tried to have him come home and get some rest multiple times but Neteyam wouldn't listen, "Son you need to come home and get some proper rest. You can come back once your fully rested" Jake told Neteyam trying to reason with him

"No! I'm not going! I'm not leaving her again! The last time I left sh- she-" Neteyam began to stumble over his words as tears fell down his face. He didn't want to leave you again because he didn't want anything else to happen and he wasn't there. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let something happen to you again.

Neytiri went over to her son and engulfed him in a hug, " 'itan I will stay with her until you come back. I promise nothing will happen to her, if she wakes up I will call you on the comm okay?" She began looking at him with pleading expression.

She could see how exhausted and drained he was from the dark circles and bags around his eyes. She could tell he hasn't been eating from how undernourished he looked.

Neteyam saw his mother practically begging him with her eyes while his father gave him the same look. Neteyam let out a sigh before answering his mother, "You promise you'll call me if anything happens?"

"Yes, I promise! now go get some rest" Neytiri said as she shooed him off with his father

Neteyam kissed you on your forehead before leaving out the pod with Jake. As Neytiri sat next to your unconscious body she took in all of your injuries. She could see faint bruises on your face and neck, the healing gash on your arm, and the other old wounds you had on both of your arms.

She wondered what would make you do this to your beautiful skin, why would you hurt the body Eywa has blessed you with? She questioned what caused you so much pain that would make you go to this degree. She wondered where those bruises came from. She wanted to know why you would try to remove yourself from among the living.

As she continued pondering she heard someone's footsteps walk inside the pod, "I see you Neytiri" Your father told her as she stood up to face him

"I see you ___" Neytiri replied

"How is Y/N doing?" He asked Neytiri trying to sound as sincere as possible. The only reason he came was to see if you were awake and if you spilled out your 'family secrets'.

"She's doing fine, we're just waiting for her to wake up" Neytiri told him as she moved to the other side of the pod and grabbed some herbs and serum-covered leaves to change your bandages and reapply herbs on your scars and bruises.

"Mm okay, well when she wakes up let me know. I'll be taking her home immediately" He told Neytiri before he exited the pod

Neytiri was suspicious about your father's behavior. This was the first time he came to see you since you've been in the healing pod and she picked up on his insincere tone. She didn't like the aura that was gleaming from him. She could feel a dark presence with him when he entered and she felt it vanish when he left. She knew something was off with him.

As Neytiri continued healing your physical body. Eywa was helping you heal your inner soul.

As of this moment your spirit was at the Tree of Souls, "Oh Great Mother, I'm so sorry!" you cried out with your neural queue connected to the tree. As you weep in front of the tree regretting your decision, the ground began to glow with bioluminescent light while the tendrils of the tree began to glow a brighter shade of pink.

You looked around confused about what happening until you saw a silhouette of someone. After a few seconds, you saw a navy blue-skinned woman walking up to you. At first, you were confused about who this woman was until you realized she looked identical to you, "Mother?"

"Yes, Ma'ite it is me" Your mother spoke up as she opened her arms waiting for you to jump into her embrace. You immediately ran up to her and jump into her arms as joyful tears ran down your cheeks.

"What's wrong yawntutsyìp?" your mother asked you as she pulled you back and began wiping the tears that were staining your face

"I-I I'm just so happy to see you! I never thought I would be able to see or hold you or even talk to you" You told her as you were taking in her appearance and presence. You couldn't believe your mother was standing right here in front of you.

"I'm happy to see you too! I've been wanting to do this ever since you were born" She told you as she tucked your hair behind your ear

"I'm sorry that I caused you to.... be here. If it wasn't for me you could still be alive and Father would be happy" you told her as you looked down at the ground feeling guilty as if it's your fault she was dead.

Your mother immediately shook her head and put her fingers on your chin to lift your head so you could look into her eyes, "My child, this is not your fault. Eywa called me home to live among her because she believed it was my time. My death is not your fault" she told you sincerely.

She began to examine your body and could see the bruises and scars on your body. She felt disgusted that her mate could ever do something like this to you. She hated that you had to go through this alone. She hated that you felt like cutting was your only escape.

"The things your father does and says to you are disgraceful, you need to leave him at once"

"I- I can't he said if I leave I would have to die so that's why I am here, I took matters into my own hands" you told her as tears streamed down your face as you thought about yourself cutting in the cave

Your mother looked at you feeling nothing but empathetic. She understood why you did what you did, but what you didn't know is that you would never have to take a drastic measure like that again.

"You do not have to fear your father anymore, Y/N. After today your father will never be able to hurt you again." Your mother told you as she rubbed your arm to comfort you

"W-what do you mean?" You asked her confusedly. You didn't understand what she meant because once you woke up you knew that you'll have to go back home to him.

"Eywa has sent me to you so I could relay a message. She wants you to know that your father will never lay another hand on you or speak any vulgar words to you ever again. Also, she wants you to know that she sees your pain and can hear your cries of suffering. She will make sure you have a safe environment to live in and you'll never have to go through anything like that again" Your mother told you as she grabbed your hand and ran her thumb across your skin.

"Where will I stay? Where will I go once I leave here?"

"You'll see once you wake up. I know how much you yearn for motherly love, how much you yearn for a family and it breaks my heart that I can't give you what you deserve. When you leave here you will find what you've been craving. The hole in your heart will soon be filled. You will be overwhelmed with love."

You were surprised by everything you heard your mother told you. You were going to find what you've craved? You would be overwhelmed with love? At the moment you couldn't fully understand what that meant but you were anticipating on finding out.

"I want you to know that Neteyam is a good boy for you" she told you while a smirk spread across her face and she nudged your shoulder

"How did you know about him?" You asked her as a small smile came on your face as well

"I've been watching over you. I've always watched over you from the time you learned how to walk until now. I've seen how Neteyam cares for you, protects you, and loves you. You have totally stolen his heart. He's been with you every day since he found you in the cave."

"He has?"

"Yes, Neytiri had to practically beg him to go home and get some rest. He wanted to stay with you no matter what, he didn't care if he didn't eat or sleep. The only thing he cared about was you waking up" Your mother told you with a smile on her face. She was so happy that you found someone like him and that he loves you no matter your faults.

"Wow I-I don't even know what to say" You told her as you stood there surprised by what she told you

"Say that you'll go back to him. Say that you'll grow old with him and have numerous children. Say that you will fight for him" she told you eagerly, trying to give you that motherly push that she knew you needed

"But I'm tired of fighting Mother I don't want to live like that anymore" you told her as you shook your head not wanting the darkness to consume her again

"This time you won't be fighting to live or die. You will be fighting to have happiness and peace, you will be fighting those negative feelings away for good"

"You promise?" You asked her looking into her eyes trying to make sure she was telling the truth

"Yes, my child I promise! This time you will win this fight, you will not lose" She told you as she pulled you into a hug, pouring out all her motherly love onto you.

As you embraced her, once again the ground began to glow brightly as the tendrils on the tree glowed a brighter pink.

"Mother, what is happening?" You asked her as you pulled back from her looking confused

"Eywa is calling me back, it is time for you to go."

"But I don't want to leave you, I want to stay here with you. When I leave here I will miss you deeply"

"I will always be with you, in here" she told you as she pointed to your heart. "Whenever you want to see me come visit me at the Tree of Voices and I will be waiting for you. I will be always watching over you, I love you Ma'ite and I see you." She caressed your cheek as tears fell down her face. She didn't want to say goodbye to her little girl but she knew she had to you

"I love you too Mother" You put your hand on top of hers and gazed at her, soaking in her presence and affection one last time before everything went dark.

As Neytiri was wrapping the new leaves on your arm she saw one of your fingers suddenly move. She paused her movements and began watching your body closely, trying to see if anything else would happen. She then saw your eyes slightly open as they began to blink to adjust to the light.

Her eyes immediately lit up with joy as she pressed her fingers on her throat comm, "Neteyam! Y/N is awake! Come now!" She said into her earpiece excitedly

Neytiri looked at you and grabbed your hand, "Y/N it's me Neytiri" She looked at you with a smile on her face. She was so happy you were awake, she knew Neteyam missed you dearly and she missed having you around.

You finally opened your eyes and could see Neytiri looking down at you, "Neytiri?" you said groggily as you tried to become aware of your surroundings

"Yes, it's me! How are you feeling?" She asked you as she reached over and got you a bowl filled with drinking water so you drink it

You sat up slowly and took the bowl from her and began drinking from it, once you were done you finally answered her question. "I'm feeling better" you told her as you thought about the talk you had with your mother. Talking to her gave you a sense of peace and strength. It made you realize that everything was going to be okay this time around.

"Great I'm so glad your feeling better, your father said to let him know when you woke up so he could take you home" Neytiri told you as she finished putting the leaves around your arm.

"W-when did he say this? Did you send someone to get him already?" You asked her hoping that she didn't send someone

"He came by earlier and I already sent someone to get him" As you heard her say that you felt your chest tighten as your breaths became more rapid. Neytiri looked at you confused as she tried to figure out what was happening, "Y/N what's wrong?" She asked you as she tried to calm you down

"Neytiri I need to tell you something before he gets here"

"What is it?"

"My father is not the good man he portrays to be. He is an alcoholic. He abuses me emotionally and phy-" Your sentence was cut off by your father furiously walking inside the pod. He heard everything you told Neytiri and he was ready to make you pay for disobeying him.

"Didn't I tell you not to tell anyone!? I told you the consequences if you tell anyone and you still didn't listen to me!" He yelled as he stood across the room walking towards you. You immediately stood up and went to the corner of the room trying to escape your father's rage.

As Neytiri looked at you in the corner of the pod with fear written all over your face it all made sense to her now. He's the reason you have the bruises and he's the reason you cut. She realized all this time he's been the one causing you all this pain.

As your father attempted to get closer to you Neytiri stood up and hissed angrily at him as her tail violently swung behind her, "DO NOT YELL AT THIS CHILD! THIS IS YOUR FAULT SHE IS LIKE THIS WITH ALL THESE WOUNDS AND BRUISES!"

"SHE WOULDN'T HAVE THEM IF SHE LISTENED!" He told her as he tried to walk past her and get to you

Neytiri pulled out her knife and immediately went into protective mode, "MOVE AND I CUT!" she snarled at him as she moved in front of you

Jake and Neteyam were outside walking towards the pod and could hear all the yelling going on inside. As they got closer Neteyam could hear your father and Neytiri yelling. He immediately ran inside to see what was going on.

When you, Neytiri, and your Father saw the curtain pull back all of you turned your head and saw Neteyam walk in with Jake behind him. As Neteyam looked at your father you could see how angry he became just by the sight of him. When your father saw Neteyam storm in he let out a dark chuckle, "Y/N what did I tell you about this boy the first time? Hm?" He asked you with glimmers of evil in his eye

You looked at Neteyam with sadness in your eyes. You didn't want to tell him what your father said and you didn't want Jake and Neytiri to hear either, "You said that he was using me for my body" you mumbled out

"And what did I tell you yesterday, when you came home?"

"That I was a slut and nobody would want me especially Neteyam"

When Jake, Neteyam, and Neytiri heard these words they were all disgusted by your father. They couldn't believe he would say those things to his own daughter. His own fresh and blood.

"You are the most pathetic and pitiful man I ever met! How could you tell your own daughter these things?! How could you put those bruises on her?!" Neteyam yelled at your father as he pointed to you

"I can do whatever I want because she's my daughter! She needs to be taught a lesson! She needs to learn that she is a FREAK and that nobody will want her when she cuts herself like a manic or if she's ran through like some slu-"

Your father's words were cut off by Neteyam pulling out his knife and creating one long slit across your father's chest that began to release droplets of crimson liquid, "Talk about her like that again, and it's going to be your neck getting cut next time!" Neteyam shouted at your Father as he screamed out in pain

Neteyam ran over to you and made sure you were okay. After you reassured him you were fine both of you began walking out of the pod together with his parents following behind the both of you.

As your father watched both of you walk out he felt like he was losing control over you, he realized his authority had no hold on you anymore. "I WILL KILL YOU NETEYAM! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" Your father yelled out

When Neteyam heard your father say that he broke out into a laughing fit "I'll like to see you try!" Neteyam told him as he turned around and kicked the back of his leg making him slam into the ground

"And while I have your attention let me make one thing clear" Neteyam said as he crouched down next to your father's face "If you EVER say anything to her, come near her, or even lay a finger on her you will die. You will go meet Eywa and live among your ancestors so you can stop making her life a living hell" Neteyam told him as he pulled out his knife and put it against your father's neck with a malicious smirk on his face

"I will take this knife and plunge so deep into your chest that you will have a long slow death or I could use my great archery skills and shoot you with my arrow and cause you to die instantly from the impact on your heart" Neteyam told him as a dark chuckle fell from his lips

"So before you even think about coming near her again remember this little chat" Neteyam told him while he patted his chest where the cut was which made your father yelp out him pain

He stood up and looked at your Father with a contorted expression before he turned around and faced you, "Are you okay tìyawn?" He asked you as he examined you from top to bottom

"Yes Teyam I'm fine, let's go home" you told him as you clasped your hand into his

A smile spread across his lips as he heard you say the words 'home'. He loved hearing you consider his home as your own. As both of you walked to his family pod you knew that from here on out that your life has officially changed for the better.

It has been three months since everything happened and your life has been filled with nothing but pure bliss. it. Your father hasn’t spoken a single word to you or even looked your way. All the negative emotions you once felt have now passed. You've been living with Neteyam and his family and you've been loving every minute of it.

By living with them you finally began to understand what your mother told you at the Tree of Souls. When you officially came to live with Neteyam's family they drenched you with love. They gave you the family you always wanted, you now had the family you always wished for.

Neytiri showed you so much motherly love. You and her went hunting together, cooked together, made jewelry together, and she gave you motherly talks and advice about anything you needed.

You and Jake would do things together as well. You too would joke together. Both of you even had an inside joke that only you two knew the meaning of. He would tell you stories about all the crazy adventures he endured when he first came to Pandora. You would always sit there listening attentively, eager to hear Jake's stories because you loved hearing about how he was so reckless and adventurous. Over the months, he became your father figure and you wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

You also had a great relationship with Neteyam’s siblings. All of them loved having you around, they looked at you as an older sibling.

You and Tuk would always have tea parties together and play with toy hexapedes. Both of you would make necklaces together for the family as she talk to about everything she saw in the forest that day.

You and Kiri would run through the forest and admire the different flora. Sometimes the two of you would sit down in patches of moss and practice different healing techniques that Moat taught both of you while she told you about her relationship with Spider.

Now you and Lo'ak have a different kind of relationship. Both of you would always tease each other, crack jokes, and have little petty arguments at times. Both of you knew that it was all fun and games though, the relationship y'all had was an average brother and sister-like relationship and you loved it.

You admired the relationships you had with all of them and you loved them dearly.

You and Neteyam's relationship has flourished over the past months. You two were closer than ever, both of you even spoke about getting a pod of your own soon.

As you were in his room making yourself a new bracelet he came inside and sat down next to you, "Hello beautiful" he said as he planted a kiss on your cheek

"Hi my tìyawn" you replied as you continued concentrating on making your bracelet

"What do you plan on doing today?" He asked you as he rested his hand on your thigh

"I'm glad you asked because I want to take you somewhere" you told him as you put down your unfinished bracelet and grabbed his hand while standing up

"Where are we going?" He asked with a smile on his face wondering where you were going to take him

"I can't tell or it'll ruin the surprise. You'll see once we get there" You began dragging him out of the pod and into the depths of the forest

As you walked through the forest you finally made it to your destination. Both of you were standing in front of the Tree of Voices, "Teyam I want you to meet someone, I want you to meet my mother!" you told him with a bright smile on your face.

You have been coming here almost every day to talk to your mother but Neteyam never came along with you. He always wanted you to have your alone time with your mother but now you want him to meet her.

"I'll be happy to meet her" Neteyam replied as he admired the joyful expression on your face.

Both of you walked up to the tree and pulled your braids from behind your backs. Both of you looked each other in the eyes before letting your nerve endings intertwine with the tendrils of the tree.

You could feel so much happiness at this moment. You loved how your life turned around for the better. You were thankful that Eywa saved you, you were thankful she blessed you with Neteyam.

The end

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[thebekashow]

the insufferable asshole...

god i hate this guy.