#Tumblr really offed this whole post

[factsilike]

I also saw the drama first, and I quite disliked it. Aside from pretty actors, admittedly gorgeous music and unnecessary plot details, it doesn't have much appeal. Why would I prefer the drama which erases the entire beautiful and romantic development of Wangxian's relationship over the course of WWX's lives including the lengths LWJ went to protect WWX and do the right thing because of censorship? And it's fine if you disagree, but the cql is actually not canon? It is an adaptation, like the donghua, from the source material that is actually the novel. The audio drama is the one that comes closest to the novel in terms of correct characterisation and events. And it's also fine if you prefer drama JC, but in doing so you're also acknowledging that JC in canon is actually much worse.

And I'm sorry, but those hugs and visits to Cloud Recesses post canon never happened in the novel. And I agree that maybe writing about relationships that have a lot of angst potential is more fun, but that doesn't mean that those healthy relationships are not worth writing about just as much. Don't we all love fluff and comfort and happy fics?

Writing fix-it fics about their relationship is of course fine and as I said in my post, I am not bashing people who write them😒. All I said was that I wish other underrated sibling relationships in mdzs were given a bit more love and appreciation, as well WWX's relationships with people who actually love and support him and care for him.

The thing that actually rankles me about all these reconciliation fics post canon is that they give off the idea (at least the way some of them are written do, I literally saw one whose premise was that post canon WWX went back in time, throwing away his happiness and future with LWJ solely because JC was angry with him and they weren't on speaking terms anymore) that WWX needs JC in his life to feel happy and content. Like no WWX is already incandescently happy with LWJ, traveling by his side, teaching the juniors and solving mysteries on night hunts. He doesn't need anyone or anything else, especially not the man who whipped him the way his abusive mother used to, with her spiritual weapon, who dragged random people to his home tortured them in his paranoia over demonic cultivation, who led a siege against innocent war prisoners including a granny and a toddler, who ignored his debt to people who saved his life and replaced his core because it was inconvenient to him, just off the top of my head.

Controversial maybe, but I don't understand why people give so much preference and love to JC and WWX's non existent "brotherly" relationship (their relationship was more akin to a sect leader and his subordinate, or a master and his servant. Jiang Cheng certainly thought of him as so, however different he may have claimed him to be). JC in the novel not once called WWX his brother, and I don't think he ever said a word that wasn't harsh or critical to him either.

Why not show some more love to the actual loving and healthy sibling relationships in mdzs? Where both siblings loved and supported each other? There are plenty and they are so underrated!

Wen Qing and Wen Ning. (I don't think I need to elaborate on how sweet and cute their relationship is. Wen Qing being all stern and strict one moment and then all doting and fussy over her younger brother. Wen Ning being all meek and mild in nature and in awe of his big sister, and he's obedient and looks up to her so much. I'll never forget the impact the first Qiongqi path massacre had on me when Wen Qing, exhausted, starving and terrified for Wen Ning, faints upon learning the sheer tragedy that happened to her brother, and WWX had him seek bloody, brutal revenge on his own behalf.)

Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji. (Probably the most healthy sibling relationship in mdzs, imo. They're supportive of each other and quite close from a young age. Lan Xichen being one of the only few people who could read Lan Wangji and his emotions, awwww. His understandable rage at thinking WWX was playing with his brother's feelings led to an angry outburst that was quite unlike his usually mild, gentle temperament.)

Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian. (This one is adorable and sweet and so heartwarming! Jiang Yanli is the only other person besides LWJ WWX lets himself be silly and goofy with, because he knows she'll fondly indulge him and laugh with him! The way she firmly stands up for him and declares him as her brother in front of the Jin sect! The way she has stated all her life, by her everyday acts of service towards WWX, that he's her family!)

Nie Mingjue and Nie Huaisang. (Theirs was a bit of a complicated relationship but they still loved each other, and Nie Huaisang all but abandoned his morals in his quiet quest to avenge his brother's death.)

I'm not hating on people who love JC and WWX's relationship and write reconciliation fic after fic, or saying that they're wrong to do so. I'm just tired of seeing so many people portray their relationship this way as if it's canon, when JC and WWX in the novel have severed ties and don't want to be in each other's lives anymore, when the character development JC goes throughout the novel ends with him finally learning to leave well enough alone and let WWX live his life in peace with the one he loves, when there are actual sibling relationships that this fandom is sleeping on, when Jiang Cheng is canonically homophobic and will certainly never hold a wedding for WWX or anyone in Lotus Pier.

[cruyuu]

The real reason why I left twitter was because I got tired of seeing sukuita shippers bashed over the same old 'omg u like incest/problematic content' argument. I got real tired of explaining myself that I like problematic content in fiction and not in rl so here I am! Free to rant without someone screaming about what's wrong and what's right into my ear. Also, partly, because Tumblr's much better to use for rants or analysis posts.

I thought the uncle reveal was hilarious, actually. It was supposed to add another reason to the growing list why liking them together is wrong. To throw everyone off the boat. To brand them as a big no-no. "Oh look, it's wrong to ship them now! It's incest."

It backfired. It just made them more interesting. It made whatever they have going on now extremely important to the story. I'm going to explain why below the cut because this got long.

Let's be honest, they've already been considered a problematic ship, so this really didn't sway most (as it shouldn't). Gege adding relation into the mix not only worked for the narrative of jjk, but also added more spice and depth to their relationship.

It's become undeniable now that– hate them or love them, ship them or don't– sukuita is the plot. This doesn't come as a surprise to me because the story literally began the moment Yuuji swallowed Sukuna's finger and if there's one thing to expect, it is that everything will– logically– end with them considering it began with them.

The fact that Sukuna's and Yuuji's souls are now proven to be intertwined and that they're connected indirectly via the soul which never saw daylight because of Sukuna's greed... is something. His twin brother managed to be reborn even if he was so weak that he got offed before even being born and Yuuji is an offspring made out of love that came from a soul Sukuna devoured.

It's poetic karma at its finest. Sukuna's twin brother comes back and has a child which will be his doom.

Not only that, but Yuuji is a total contrast of him, despite the fact that their appearances match. While Sukuna's selfish, Yuuji's selfless. He's a yin to his yang. A half which was lost, killed off, and consumed but it got reborn and brought Yuuji into the world. It survived. Why? Because of love.

And yes, I know Sukuna's twin brother isn't reincarnated into Yuuji but rather into his father— into Jin. Still doesn't matter because they're practically twins. Yuuji's appearance eerily matches Sukuna and even throughout the story, they start resembling each other more and more.

Yuuji being a suitable vessel is given much more meaning. Megumi couldn't fight back against him, yet Yuuji could control him easily. He can handle Sukuna because he is, technically, a product from the other half of him. Indirectly, they're two parts of one whole. So thanks Gege! This is very fucking romantic of you.

[witchofthesouls]

I think TFP Soundwave is the most feral of the Soundwaves.

While he shares his other iterations of great competence and loyalty, this fucker was a full-blown gladiator in the Pits of Kaon. As well as the only other fighter to actually force Megatronus to a draw.

Similar to Megatron, he has flair for dramatic showmanship. Just look at the fights against Airachnid and Wheeljack. But where Megatron leaned into an aggressive and powerful persona, Soundwave did a different approach.

I think it was deliberate that his modern design invoked an otherworldly cryptid-like vibe. His lack of plating isn't a weakness. If anything, it's a taunt.

He leans into the creepy/horror factor. To the point that Ratchet described Soundwave as Cybertronian unlike any other. (But let's not forget that Ratchet, and the Autobots in general, have their own biases.) There was a Tumblr post analysis on how TFP Soundwave may have been mimicking a sparkeater's frame and behavior.

And that is what gives him a greater edge over the other Soundwaves. He purposely remodeled himself to act as a terrifying supernatural beast of yore. Soundwave is the Sparkeater to Megatron's Slagmaker.

It also says something about the environments that shaped both him and Megatron and the Decepticons as a whole, especially with the imprisonment scene where Soundwave basically went Fuck You to the Autobots and Bulkhead had thought he actually offed himself. It's that of perpetual brutality and violence.

No matter how charismatically affable and social TFP Megatron is, we also see he doesn't spare a rough hand upon his subordinates. Yes, he cares. But it's warped in a way that bridges the methods that formed his escape and rise to power and gets results. It isn't just physical violence. There's also emotional and psychological as well. (The Orion Pax arc, clawing over Knock Out's finish, Megatron and Bumblebee, Jack and Megatron, how the kids were kept in vials to trade for the Omega Lock, the attempt and taunts of "Gilded" Earth, and that's at the top of my head.)

They were shaped by it, and they continued it.

So I honestly think Soundwave would respect absolutely raw acts of savage violence. Someone tearing out a throat with their own teeth like an animal wouldn't induce horror and disguist. More like approval and appreciation that others aren't afraid to throw off their own fragile, cultured masks of civility to really get down to bare struts of what they are truly capable of.

[dalesramblingsblog]

In honour of an episode that seems consciously about the construction of narratives around fundamentally meaningless aspects of the universe, a Twitter conversation with one of my last remaining mutuals to survive the Muskening, lightly repurposed to serve as a singular, narrativised Tumblr post in a way it was never designed for.

Who says art is dead?

73 Yards was strange and haunting and not entirely comprehensible in a way that Doctor Who seldom manages.

I suspect it's one where personal tolerance for that sort of thing will make or break the episode, but I certainly think that, knowing this was Gibson's first filmed episode, she did a phenomenal job.

It was also, for me at least, a more generally successful invocation of the kind of eldritch horror implied by the Toymaker or the Maestro, largely by virtue of it giving itself room to be ambiguous.

I've seen the complaints about stuff like the PM being a blank slate, but I do rather feel like that might be the point. It's an episode all about perception and projection and narrativisation of a universe that can be cold and hostile and incomprehensible.

(And frankly, I'm starting to suspect that the whole of RTD2 might be about that on some level. "We see something incomprehensible and invent the rules to make it work" and all that. It's audacious and bold in a way that Doctor Who hasn't been in half a decade.)

And as someone for whom those themes really hit home a lot of the time, yeah, I loved it. I know I probably sound like a broken record but I am genuinely just having a blast with this latest series.

The worst thing Doctor Who can ever feel like for me is an obligation that I only keep up with out of a need to stay relatively current in writing about it, and that was what the Chibnall Era often boiled down to for me.

Part of the reason, in hindsight, I poured so much of myself into my book reviews was that the show itself was simply failing to excite me with the level of regularity necessary to keep me engaged.

Knowing that I can put on Doctor Who on a Saturday night and be reasonably well-entertained and intrigued is, frankly, enough for me, but I do think there are enough aspects of genuine quality that I'm not just blindly worshipping at the altar of a false idol or w/e.

I dunno, I think at the end of the day I'm just a big sucker for TV that makes sense to me on an emotional rather than logical level. It's why I'm a big fan of Twin Peaks, or the second season of Millennium, or hell even Masks over on TNG.

The episode had the general feel of one that will be quite important to the overall themes of the season, so I can't imagine it will linger in *complete* ambiguity forever (though honestly if it did I would kind of love that).

Like I wouldn't be surprised if we're building up to a similar time loop reveal wrt Ruby's general existence. The fact that we've now got at least three instances of her timeline being haunted by mysterious old women cannot possibly be coincidence.

(Well, it can be, but that way lies goblins, as we know.)

IDK, there's a strangeness to Davies' acknowledgments of mediality here that goes even beyond Moffat's usual tricks. Casting a recurring actress by the name of Susan Twist while conspicuously mentioning Susan for the first time in forever feels so on the nose that while I initially suspected we might be building to the return of Susan, I now feel like we're instead headed for something much weirder.

There is so much going on and so much to unpack and frankly I don't have any idea how it could possibly tie together but I'm fascinated.

And again, the fact that this episode was almost explicitly about the process of fans theorising as to what the hell is going on with the season makes me further suspect a rebuttal of theory-focused cult fandom is in the offing.

When I first watched Once, Upon Time in 2021, I commented that it felt like Chris Chibnall's attempt to do a big, bold, incomprehensible piece of television, something almost in the vein of Twin Peaks: The Return, Part 8 but for Doctor Who.

But it's revealing that the only thing he could really think to do was dump a bunch of Doctor Who lore and simply edit things out. He's a mystery writer in the most tediously literal sense of the phrase, creating gaps that feel like they were made with a hacksaw rather than feeling like any sort of deliberate lacuna.

And I'm sorry Chibnall fans, there are some Thirteen episodes that I do like, but when I look at an episode like 73 Yards... whatever its faults may be, and I'm pretty confident I don't actually believe it to be perfect, it is bolder and weirder than anything Chibnall ever wrote. This is the kind of television I want to watch, and I make no apologies for that.

It's a rare piece of Doctor Who which comes close to capturing that sheer, terrible splendour I felt watching a slow zoom into an atom bomb explosion while being serenaded by the Threnody for the Victims of Hiroshima. And sure, it's still very far out from being quite that strange, but it retains a curious power nevertheless.

What a show.

[espoopee]

Okay so I'm back

It's been a couple of years since I've decided to actually use Tumblr for any other reason than to look at aesthetic stoners making pretty bowls with their crystal bongs or whatever.

The truth is, I'm once again in a pretty dark place in my life because I just had a 5-year relationship end pretty terribly, and not even of my own fault (objectively!!!). This is pretty much the only place I can talk about it because my ex would see the reactions and emotions I post on other social media and he would, for whatever reason, retaliate by blocking/unfollowing/whatever and just generally punishing me for being open about how I feel.

I'm not good. I feel so beat up and I even just got a new job that I really can't fuck up because it'll spell out the rest of my career for me. I really don't know why, but I really just crave some sort of apology or show of remorse from my ex.

For context, we broke up because... at this point, IDK. My ex said it was because at the time, I had no job and he was tired of opening his wallet for me for dates. Fine, that's totally valid. He wouldn't give me a chance, and I couldn't get a say. Bad. But the thing is, we never talked about this in person. He broke up with me via chat. It's one of the things that I quickly learned I shouldn't take lightly and I have to demand a proper breakup from him, especially since the circumstances weren't even that drastic. He refused, and kept avoiding me. He was kinda scathing to talk to when I could, always bringing up the reason for us breaking up. When I bring up that I no longer care why he broke up with me (since we're no longer together) and that I care more about the way he treats me post-breakup (since we have 5 years of experiences, many of which are good), he freezes and it's so obvious he feels some sort of guilt and he didn't think that far ahead. I just wish I was smarter in taking advantage of that.

It's been almost a month since it happened. At first, I didn't even know we broke up, because he didn't say anything. I had to go look at his twitter bio and see that he removed me without even telling me or warning me, and that's when it actually happened.

I just don't really know how to move forward, since this whole thing was pretty much forced upon me. I get that I have the option to accept it, but the way it happened is obviously gonna affect the way I feel and do things. I didn't get a proper breakup, of course I'm gonna feel some rage. I didn't get closure, so I'm gonna be constantly confused. I didn't even get to say goodbye, so it's gonna take a long while to realize that we're really no longer together, and that any form of reconciling isn't on the table.

I'm just in disbelief that a person can be that callous. How in the world can you leave somebody behind so hurt and confused? He always said he was hurt too, and stressed or whatever. I never really knew what to do with that information, because being hurt and confused doesn't make you immune to responsibility.

I don't even know where to begin when I tell people what happened. I know it's kind of selfish, but I really want someone to have my back when I tell them how much I've been hurt. He had his immature friends bully me during the breakup. It's wild, but I kinda wish I didn't have "mature" friends who think it's best if I just let them be and move on. I guess I'm looking for justice for myself, when no one else would.

If for any reason you Tumblr lovelies are still reading this, be assured that I'm fine, and don't have any plans on offing myself any time soon. I mean, I guess I did two weeks ago, but I was quickly reminded of what a terrible idea that is. I'm trying my best to cope and keep busy, despite my situation being stuck at home for the meantime. I might use Tumblr more often as a sort of journal/diary. The more I talk to my friends, the more I realize they just listen and don't do anything else, so if it's any consolation, I'll just use Tumblr to let ALL my thoughts out, no matter how negative.

[greatprotector-if]

Just popping in to say that I really like your writing style. I really really like how it not only makes you feel things, but also LETS you feel things — if that makes sense. (it doesn't, but anyway.). I like how the narration is just a tiny bit unhinged and WILL make you laugh. I like how despite that, it doesn't sugarcoat or downplay the very real flaws and fears that follow every character.

Like, yeah, the world is tiring and people are tiring and you kind of just want to lie prone facedown on the ground Forever, but also. The narration (or, well, the MC) WILL snark literally Everything in sight to hell and back. You will have a heart to heart with someone deadset on getting that "MC's #1 Pain in the Ass" t-shirt and they WILL, quite literally, fly away when the conversation gets a little too honest; you are allowed to take your ire out on a pile of twigs. Presumably. You stare into a chicken's Not a Single Thought Is At Home eyes and someone WILL vehemently come to its defense if you slander it. Pillows will fwoomp pathetically to the floor. Everyone's sort of got their own wet cat thing going on. But also everyone is lovely. (And some people just suck, but they can wait their turn this isn't about them). You're allowed to feel angry. You're allowed to feel sad. You're allowed to feel a strange mix of everything and nothing. You're allowed to feel spite. You're allowed to be kind. You're allowed to be complicated and frustrating and flat out vexed with yourself. You are a person; you are a person. Those who surround you are also people — strange or vexing or supernatural they may be. The world is alive. You are alive.

Anyways. Yeah. :D I gotta clarify that this isn't about choices or variables and all that IF stuff. This is about your writing. It's just how it makes me feel. It's how your worlds and characters and everything make me feel. They are very dear to me. Thank you so much for sharing them. I love reading everything you show us, and I'm so glad you're writing.

Sorry for terrorizing your inbox with this Very Long Thing (I'll probably do it again). Once again, thank you, and good luck with everything!! 🤺🤺🤺✨✨✨✨

[P.S. Also, I typed a Very Long Thing in my tags for a certain post of yours but tumblr cut the whole thing in half when I posted it 🗿 I was like, "THE AUDACITY" and took off to your inbox so I could tell you what I meant to say in the tags (most of it is in the first paragraph of this ask) but now I'm kind of glad that tumblr offed my tags like that. It's allowed me to convey Everything to you in a.... somewhat more coherent manner, at least 🐓✨]

THJFN D. FHJFJGKGKVJVNFNVNGMV. dude WHTA THE HELL you are too too kind thank you so much?!?!!???!!??!!!!?! , , ,,, thank you for takingthe time to write this...... and even coming to my inbox when your tags cut off DJFJSKF SERIOUSLY i appreciate this so. immensely i'm ):

i won't lie i am struggling a lot with trying to convey this in a way that's satisfying with the IF format but the characters are what i consider to be among if not The Most Important thing in my writing and that includes the mc, so injecting little quips/opinions/human things into narration is my jam. if they don't feel real then what's the point!!!!!! it's hard with player choice and variables and it's definitely been a steep learning curve for me (which is part of why it's taking so long to write lol oops) but. i just. people are complex. and i want to make room for all sorts of people if i can. & i'm so glad that my writing makes u feel things. wven kust in general because THAT'S ALL WE WANT AS AUTHORS. LIKE. THANK YOU

ok i have no idea what i'm saying at this point this is so stream of consciousness no clue if it makes sense but THANK UOU AGAIN. WAGGJHH. I SEIFOFK. i am going to think about this ask every fuckign day for the rest of my life. this ask is my NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT?

[soujjwalsays]

The year was 1950, the young nation of India celebrated it's first Republic Day.

India’s first Republic Day began with C Rajagopalachari proclaiming India a Sovereign Democratic Republic at the Rashtrapati Bhavan.

Today, for the first time in our long and chequered history,”he said “We find the whole of this vast land brought together under the jurisdiction of one consititution of one union which takes over responsibility for the welfare of more than 320 million men and women who inhabit it.”

- Dr Rajendra Prasad taking the oath as India’s first President

The chief guest on occasion was Indonesian President Dr Sukarno. On Nehru’s request, Delhi University had organised a special convocation to confer an honorary PhD on Sukarno. One moment to be remembered from this ceremony was the riveting role reversal between two of Asia’s charismatic leaders. It was common practice for Nehru to conclude his speeches by shouting Jai Hind. Then, he would say “Louder!” and the crowd would satisfy his demand.

A cartoon from HT published on 24 January showing Chairman of the Drafting Committee (and later Law Minister) B R Ambedkar holding an infant Republic of India while Mother India lays in bed exhausted from labour. Around him stand Dr Rajendra Prasad and Nehru, looking anxiously.

A 31-gun salute welcomed Dr Prasad to the first ever Republic Day celebrations. Dr Prasad proceeded to take a round of the amphitheatre, this time in a jeep, while saluting the 3,000 armed forces that had gathered there, after which he hoisted the tricolour, our national flag for the very first time. Another memorable speech by him was in the offing.

Nearby, in Connaught Place, people of all age groups thronged the streets and crowded restaurants; shops remained illuminated through the day while the Rashtrapati Bhavan lit up at night, marking yet another first of a custom followed till this day. The atmosphere was electric and the spirit of freedom, infectious. India was the first Commonwealth country to have entirely come into its own; it was the biggest national ceremony of the 20th century.

P. S. Guys I really don't know if this goes with algorithm of Tumblr but as an Indian I believe, completing 74 years of republic & democratic dominion is a great milestone and as a proud indian and true patriot, I loved making this post.

So,

HAPPY 74th REPUBLIC DAY 🇮🇳

७४ गणतंत्र दिवस की हार्दिक शुभकामनाएं 🇮🇳

[castiellovesdean]

so I stumbled upon a moment some time ago that I’ve never seen anybody talk about so I would just like to bring people’s attention to this clip of Misha answering a fuck marry kill question about J2 + Mark S in 2016 (starts at 54:47)

I spent a whole week trying to figure out how to make gifs for this so I’m gonna share Some Thoughts

okay :)))) what the fuck!

first we have his reaction to the question, which. already starts out bad.

the smirk. the significant eye contact. and then LEADING OUT OF IT grinning and saying “that’s pretty obvious, isn’t it?” WHAT

and then chatting with rob about how obvious the answers are. okay. sure. that’s fine. concurring that there is a correct answer.

and then “we all know which one of those guys we’d wanna bang”

you know. that tone of “everyone knows that” seems really familiar to me. I wonder if I can find— oh.

that time a fan told Jensen “you’re very attractive!” and Misha responded by saying “No shit, tell us something we don’t know” yeah y’know that’s fine

"we know who we’d like to see, y’know, offed.. and we all know who would be great around the house!” where have I heard that before. I swear, it’s so famil—oh right it’s from when Misha talked about how much he’d like to bring Jensen home :) (and the time he said he always fixes stuff up when he comes over that I’m too lazy to find the source for right now but I may add later)

“he’s a great prop, and also handy around the house”

haha okay

and then the “Specify!” “Nope.”

gosh all of these things are so familiar. where have I heard that ‘nope’ before? when Jensen reminded him of a story of the real Jensen and Misha that was too much to tell the audience? ok :) yeah that totally makes sense

the thing that gets me most, I think, is the fact that if you take what he says and have any context for it whatsoever (aka you’ve watched more than 2 misha panels or have been in the fandom for a while) he’s saying nearly in plain english “I’d kill Jared” and “I’d marry* Jensen” .. but he REFUSES to say it. he has to keep his mouth shut and not actually say it. but WHY. if there’s only one degree of separation between the ways you are Choosing Not To Say Anything and actually saying it why not just say it :). what about saying it is so secret you have to keep from saying it even when everybody knows what you’re talking about. just wondering.

not to mention the fact that he LITERALLY HAS openly answered fuck, marry, kill questions and said he’d marry Jensen and kill Jared. TWICE. [x]

and the other time he did it on stage and the question was about Sam, Dean, and Cas, but he started talking about Jensen and Jared and trying to come up with a reason to pick Jensen/Dean deliberating between the two despite saying no to marrying Jared (and Jensen responded with “never were wiser words spoken” when he heard about it the next day)

and. “spend a few days with those guys and it becomes crystal clear” and everybody on stage seeming to agree on it (despite the embarrassment at misha being Too Honest).

which. yknow. doesn’t tell us that the clear, unanimous answer for ‘kill’ everyone on stage is talking about is Jared at all. (more than common sense already does)

it’s honestly taken me so long to get tumblr to let me post this that at this point I have no idea if there’s any coherence or value in it but here it is anyway simply because *it took so fucking long*

[emluvsevermore]

this post is a depression rant. tw for mention of suicide and s/h.

i don’t have a terrible life.

i really don’t.

i have a lot to be grateful for.

and for the things in life that do suck,

i’ve found ways to cope with it.

are these methods always entirely healthy?

no fucking way.

but thats not the point here.

the point is that,

i’ve finally found a pretty healthy method of working through my trauma, which is the root of my depression and anxiety. my kin characters and hyperfixations help me map out the shit storm that is my mind and help me understand why i am the way i am.

for the first time in my life, i’m trying my best to heal and figure myself out. and no one in my life fucking gets that.

they make fun of my hyperfixations and make me feel stupid for liking the things that are keeping me from offing myself.

i told one of my best friends that my comfort character is the only reason i got out of bed that morning and she said “that’s not good”.

LIKE BITCH I KNOW THATS NOT GOOD. THATS THE FUCKING POINT. IM NOT OKAY.

i feel like i can’t bring up my current hyperfixation anymore (which is something that the whole friend group enjoys on at least surface level) because i know i talk about it a lot and i know it annoys them.

even my sibling, who has depression and trauma issues as well, is visibly annoyed whenever i bring it up.

it’s like, i have a support system, but they only know the bare minimum of whats going on. my mental issues are a raging river. i need a dam built to slow things down; my friends and family hand me a twig and say “figure it out”.

i’m two weeks clean today and no one outside of tumblr knows. i’m so close to relapsing and the only thing stopping me right now is pure spite. i want to tell my close friends but that will open too many doors and i already have enough shit on my plate. i want to ask my parents if i can go to therapy and start antidepressants or something but it’s the fucking depression itself that’s saying “no, suck it up, you’ll be fine”. not to mention, my parents are one of the causes of my trauma and i’m not ready for that discussion.

in conclusion i feel like i have no future and one of the only things stopping me from ☠️ is the fact that sebastian stan may not be around in my next life and i haven’t met him yet.

[ilkkawhat]

Any tips for first time writers? Specifically any tips and tricks for writing CSI stories and the Nick/Greg ship? Trying to stay in character and make the story interesting like a show episode instead of a boring text procedural is hard.

lmao as someone who is forever insecure about my own writing when it comes to keeping the characters in character, I think something to keep in mind is that you may view a character differently than someone else--and sometimes those views align with others, and most of the time it's better than what's presented in canon, and it can be really difficult to get confident about that, but I think that creating anything, even if it's not just writing--drawing, giffing, photo edits, etc, you do know and love that character enough to bring them to life under your hands and it's something that's just so like, poetic about keeping these characters alive, even if the show offed them or the show is cancelled, in these works (honestly the song "poet" by bastille says this best imo) and you may end up discovering parts of yourself as you explore these characters in depth, you'll learn more about them, too, and the more you write, the more confidence you will gain

but be weary of the validation trap (says someone who falls into it literally every time I post a fic)--do not rely on comments and feedback to let you know you're doing it "right." the fact that you're getting thoughts into words onto paper is good enough, and you are good enough and even if you don't end up sharing it, you still did something special that nobody else has done before, and that, is amazing!

I'm not gonna lie, a huge weakness of mine that I feel I've known ever since I started writing CSI fic is that I really don't do well in making cases for the CSIs to work on--and even when I do, the case is usually forgotten by the end of the fic and I end up just kinda focusing on the emotions between the characters and describing their feelings and actions the best I can and unfortunately the plot sometimes suffers because of that.

I guess it really depends on what you want out of your story--do you want a really intriguing case and basically make an episode of CSI, or do you want to kind of bend out of the procedural drama, and just write something fluffy like Nick/Greg going on a roadtrip or something actiony like them getting into some sort of trouble? (as I often do lmao)

Something that does always help me when I do decide I want an actual like, "plot" to the fic beyond just playing around with the characters and making them do things or experience things is that I'll make myself a very flexible outline--which I will admit, at times, does kinda drain the fun out of the actual writing part but I found that I'll try to write chapters/fics in segments in this way, like I'll have the start of a fic, and then when I feel like I need to break but want to write what I got going next, I'll have something in brackets like: [Self deprecation at home/drinking, evil Nick in the mirror?] (for agony), and sometimes maybe a bigger summary, and sometimes less to just kinda remind myself of what I wanted to accomplish with a fic

BUT know that there are gonna be things that pop up sometimes. twists that come to you halfway through a fic--or if you're lucky, you'll find that your reader friends will kinda give you a twist to add in (my fic Last Breath is the greatest example of this--I originally was gonna do like, 12 chapters but then @dannilea said "HEY MK GIVE NICK AMNESIA" and then the fic got doubled in length lmao) so don't feel confined to any sort of outline. go with the flow, go with what feels right for you.

I know it's a lesson I'm still learning myself, but do not pressure yourself with these sorts of things. there are no deadlines. you're not doing anything wrong. if you don't like something you wrote? don't delete it (i've deleted so many things--fics, my entire blog, old art and gifs I did and it's one of my biggest regrets that I carry with me and god...it just hurts) but don't be afraid to tweak, re-write or rework if you need to--I know ao3 has an option where you can even say something is a "remix" of another work if you write a fic and then somewhere down the line, decide to expand on it or change it up? (I think it's meant for that at least, I haven't done that sort of thing....yet)

and that's another thing--you'll always be learning new things as you keep writing. I've been writing since I was like, twelve years old. Had a long ass depressive gap (though I did still write some things, just not...as intensely as I used to) before I came back to the CSI fandom (which I never felt I contributed to before, when I joined tumblr I posted some caps but that was about it, it really wasn't until 2018 that I started giffing and writing and three years later lmao here we are!) and there are just hard lessons you do learn--like I said, the validation trap and pressure and all of that

but motivation wise, something I've been (trying) to do is write at least 100 words per day. Doesn't have to be a specific fic, doesn't have to be anything I intend to make a fic, but just...getting the words flowing. But again, no pressure, because I recently had another depressive bout and went 33 days without writing and it climaxed to me having another mental breakdown swearing I was never gonna write again and damn near deleting everything and giving up.........only to start writing again the next day (and full disclosure, I did have a friend helping me literally every day with that and if they read this, I hope they know how forever grateful I am that they convinced me to keep going and I would not actually be here without them)

You will need to recharge, you will need to be mindful of outside stresses that may be impacting your creative energies. And sometimes, you can try doing things not relating to writing at all. Make a playlist of songs that make you think about the fic; if you can, draw or make photo edits of the fic. find a friend to bounce ideas off of--so many of my fics were enriched by that, I can't even begin to list them all lol.

But above all, again, just know that what you're writing is unique to you, nobody else will be able to write the way you do, and that is just...so special. writing can be difficult, it's exhausting, it's a thankless job at times but when those words start clicking together and your fingers just keep typing/writing, you'll just kinda get this like, rush like nothing I've ever been able to match.

and lmao I know you said specifically CSI and Nick/Greg and feel like I got sidetracked--but the great thing about CSI is I feel like you'll have excuses to put them in situations given their line of work, but like I said before, you can bend out of the genre a little bit. Have Nick and Greg go on a vacation, or make an AU (even something as wild as a sci-fi AU--honestly Specimen Stokes is the most fun I've had in writing the past three years) or if you do want to stick to canon, and don't want to make a whole new case or elaborate on the details--play with an established episode. If there was a Nick focused episode, what was Greg doing and vice versa? Did they talk about things afterwards, or did something happen leading up to the episode that made them act a certain way around each other?

I'll honestly find inspiration also just watching the episodes--something I've been doing in these past few months of my rewatch is making little ficlets about the episode, like I wrote one about Nick and Greg post 6x02 elaborating on the breathplay that Greg hinted about earlier in the episode, or I made a revenge fic for 14x12 where that douchey abusive husband went after Nick, etc. So sometimes it helps to dive back into canon and play in that sandbox too

I hope these tips can help get you started and honestly, don't feel obligated to agree or do any of these things I listed above. We all have different ways of going about writing, and it is just one big learning process and something I don't think I'm ever gonna perfect or master in any sort of way--(not to say I think I'm the worst writer in the world but I just...try to humble myself and not believe I'm the best or better than anybody else cause that's part of the validation trap, you get those ideas in your head and then it can destroy you when you realize you're definitely not)--and there will be times you get heavily discouraged, but...you just gotta keep going. keep pushing. find outside encouragement, but don't rely on it. practice a lot of self care and don't pressure yourself to finish or share or write more than you think you can. just...let it come, and enjoy the ride

I honestly feel like I'm one of the least qualified to say all of these things, but I really do hope it helps and hey, you already got one cheerleader, me, who will be excited to read whatever you share!

[thermaboo]

Happy Here || Villain!Reader X Shoto Todoroki

Warning: Reader is yandere, Noncon, recording, HEAVY Angst, Degradation, Slapping, verbal abuse, kidnapping, reverse noncon, very NSFW

All characters are 18+, and you have to be too to read this.

Word Count - 3.6K

a/n: If you follow me, you’ve probably seen this post 900 times because tumblr has been struggling to upload things properly, if you’re seeing this in the tags, hello~~~ Anyway, lmao nothing smacks harder than breaking in a strong character bruh and thats that! I typed this like a woman possessed so if you see a mistake mind ya business lmao.

He looked into the abandoned building, getting a reading that there was an energy source in the area. The sidekicks in his agency scoured the bottom levels and he went straight to the source. Today was supposed to be his day off, he really didn’t want to be out at this time. It was your 3 year anniversary, and he had to see it through without you.

It’s been 14 months and 23 days since you’ve gone missing.

If he had known that final call would be your last. He would've stayed on the phone with you longer, he would’ve talked about something else besides work, he would’ve told you not to go out. So many would haves and should ofs, none of them brought you back home.

His mind returned to the present, his feet had carried him to where he needed to be without the consciousness to follow it. It was useful for work, but otherwise a sign of his emotional disturbance. The floor was empty, a few broken windows illuminated the dirty flooring with a late evening orange. There were some glass bottles in the corner and pieces of trash strewn about. It looked properly abandoned, but the pulsating radar said differently. There was something in this room, but absolutely nothing at all.

He walked around the room, noticing a faint difference in temperature in a certain spot in the room. He walked through it a few times just to make sure he wasn’t making it up, but the last time he did it the temperature difference vanished. In an instance a rope like material surrounding him, leaving him in an upright but uncomfortable position.

“Hello love, I’ll be a bit late again, please don’t wait up for me.”

“It’s okay hun, I’m going out with a friend tonight.”

“Please be safe and enjoy yourself. I know I’ve been really busy but just in case you make it back home before me, I have some wonderful news to tell you.”

“Oh! Don’t leave me in suspense Sho, I’m gonna be thinking about it all night!”

“It’s a surprise, you’ll love it, I promise.” He glanced at the small jewelry box on his desk, hoping that you love it just as much as he loves you.

“Okay” He could hear your pout even through the phone. “Well I miss you okay, take a break if you need to. I love you.”

“Love you more.”

A figure walked into view from the dark, taking him out of his thoughts once more. A mask obscuring your face, whirring in the darkness with a faint glow. It illuminated the body underneath, a light green glow against your figure.

"Who are you", he shouted, trying to seem confident. He was a pretty powerful hero, he wasn't used to being so easily caught. There wasn't any response on your end, you simply tilted your head and stared at him through your mask. The whirring and the sound of his teammates running around confused being the only thing in the room. He rocks against his bindings, sending out a distress signal to notify the others of his location. You both hear the pings echo across the floor, the door slams open. Izuku looks around confused.

"Todoroki?"

"I'm here!" he calls out, watching his friend whip around confused. Izuku sighs and quickly leaves, assuming it was a mistake and all the machinery was acting up.

What's happening.

You laugh, voice aggressively distorted through your mask. He's still not frightened, not letting go of his hope that he can escape this. He tries again to activate his quirk to no avail, the bindings are quirk proof.

You continue laughing at him in the vague encroaching darkness of the room. "Who ARE YOU" he shouted a little louder. An explosion went off in the distance, the building groaned at the nearby pressure. Any heros currently in the building rushed towards the sound of destruction, realizing that this was a distraction.

The small device next to you fizzled at the tap of your foot, emitting a large energy pulse before turning off. You pulled out a scanner of your own to demonstrate how that mysterious ping on it before is suddenly gone. Curious.

You walked up to the man in front of you, his heterochromic eyes stared at you intently, trying to figure out who this mysterious woman was. You still said nothing. You didn't think it was possible for him to get any stronger but he looked bulkier since you've last seen him. A little darker, maybe not as nice to others, cold, frigid. You imagined what his interactions were like now in days. Did he try seeing anyone else, did he still hang out with friends? Did he even miss you? Your partners only showed you so much before leaving, all you’ve seen of him in months were through short videos and pictures, and he seemed so happy that you were gone. You stroked your hand up his chest, feeling around your old stomping grounds, trying to test the waters of your guilt. See if there's still any left.

All you felt was hatred, pure, unbridled hatred. You held his head delicately, patting his frayed hairs away as you thought about how much you missed his head. How he would lay in your lap and let you play with his hair and tell you about his day. Days you had ripped from you, days he seemed to forget. The pro hero was shaking in your grasp, you're not sure if it was from fear or the uncomfortable positioning of the ropes, but either was fine for you. You grabbed him by his hair and forced his vision up, you got your answer. It was fear.

"What was that explosion? What are you doing." He lets out in slight trembles.

"Oh, just a few friends. Don't worry about them, you can't do shit for them anyways."

“Why is this happening?”

“Because I can Shoto, because

can. They can handle that without me, but here, here is where I’m needed.”

He had no clue what you were talking about, the fear was starting to get to him. Usually there’s some kind of motive behind these sorts of things, but this seemed entirely too personal. He can’t help but notice how familiar you look and a thought crosses his mind.

You let one hand roam downward fiddling with the zipper of his hero costume. Giggling under her heavy breathing. "Stop.”

You keep going. Slowly.

"Please."

Slower.

"Ple-" a smack lands across his face, he doesn’t bother to move his face back, he just leaves it there. He isn't weak by a long shot, but right now there wasn't a single fight in him, he just wanted to run.

His mind replays the moment of panic. When her friend called to see if she simply didn’t leave your shared apartment.

“Hey Todoroki, I know she said you were at work, but do you know if she left the house.”

His whole body paused, “Yes, she left, she was walking when she last called me.”

“I-”. The sound of traffic and wind blew through the call. “She never showed up. I’ve called her and text her a dozen times and she didn’t respond. I don’t want to worry you I just-. I don’t know what happened.”

“I will call you back.” He hung up and immediately called you while running out of his office, call after call after text and nothing. He left a few panicked voicemails, hoping that you just had your phone on silent and was busy. His mind reeled at the possibilities, trying his hardest to think the best of the situation. Yeah, he’d arrive home and you’d be asleep on the couch, wrapped up in your favorite blanket, Tv cycling through Netflix shows. Maybe you realize you didn’t want to go, and forgot to tell your friend. Maybe-

The door to your apartment opened, silent, cold, nothing. He ran through the apartment checking everything, even underneath the pillow hoping there would be some kind of sign of you. All that was left was a funny little drawing you left for him on the whiteboard near the door. “Don’t forget to eat! There’s some Soba in the fridge, I won’t be gone too long!”

He rang the police and then your friend. “She hasn’t responded to any of my calls or text, and she’s not at the apartment. I’ve called the police.” The both of them continued the call in silence, hoping to say something that would reassure the other but nothing came to mind.

"Awwww, look who came to visit."

You poked at the forming bulge in his pants. "You're fucking sick, you know that?".

He cranes to look down, unaware that his body was reacting without his mind.  "Let me fucking go,” he strains against his bindings, desperate to escape whoever this was torturing him.

You squeeze his dick, and laugh again. "Or what? Where are you going to run to? Who's gonna hear you? You're in my world now." He tries to move away from your touch and you just persist. "Do you get this hard for every villain that touches you or just me?" He pushes against his restraints and looks at you with murderous but fearful intent. "You still don't know me? I'm hurt." His brain hurts trying to figure out who this woman was, wanting to figure out anything that can vaguely put some kind of understanding to this situation. He couldn't think of anything but-

Was it?

Who else had that quirk.

Images flashed in his head to you two holding hands in a crowd, he watched as the world continued on without any notice of their presence. The cars drove straight through them, people walked right by them, they were there and weren't all at once. "See, it's neat I guess but I can't go much further than here. One layer below this and it's pretty much the same thing with less people. One to the left has a weird saturation to it."

"I think it's amazing Y/n"

"Really?" You ask, unsure of how to feel. He was very confused at your insecurity, you were just not trained, but pocket dimensions were surely a powerful quirk. He wondered just how many of these dimensions there were?

He came back to his senses when he felt his dick pop out of his boxers. His memories fade into the darkness of his reality that keeps calling him back when he so badly wants to escape. In his mind he still has you, you’re safe, and this isn’t happening to him. For a second, the thought passes by that whoever this is may kill him, and he may get to see you again. He quickly shakes the thought away, you were alive, and he was going to find you one day. He mentally berated himself for even entertaining the thought of this being you or death.

"Shotooooo, I'm trying so hard to get your attention? Why do you keep leaving me?” You lift your mask slightly to accommodate his length in your mouth, you almost forgot how much you enjoyed this. Almost. Your lips bop up and down paying close attention to his cute pink head, it was always so pretty. Lucky for Shoto, it was always prettier in your mouth. You drag your nails around his thighs, making sure to draw blood on your way back. He arches, hating himself for responding to your actions

His dick leaves your mouth with a sickening pop, “How's my little Pro Hero? Think about how many people needed your help while you were here, you didn't even clock out for this.” You rest your head on his thigh and lazily stroke his cock, “you couldn’t even save your girlfriend.”

“Shut the fuck up you don’t know a thing about her.”

“Oh, really struck a chord there. Didn’t think you cared about her that much, especially because you’re gonna cum to some villain you can’t even recognize.” You begin to pick up the pace, precum coating your hand and filling the air with a wet gliding sound. “Or can you hold it in? Can you do it for her? Her dead body is in a ditch somewhere, and here you are, about to come on some other chick's hand.”

He said nothing, you could tell from the faint light that was left in the room that he was crying. Oh god did you love seeing those tears. You felt a familiar tensing underneath you and you prepared for what was going to happen next and placed your mouth over his cock again. His groans mixed with his sobs and he came in your mouth, you swallowed quickly and smiled upwards at him.

“I think she’ll forgive you for cumming, after all, the conditions weren’t entirely fair.” You stand up and turn on a lamp next to you before activating a button to readjust his ropes. He hit the floor with a thud and you could hear him groaning behind you before the bindings quickly tightened to their new position. You turn back around and take your place on top of his thighs, your hands reaching upward to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

“Sho are you okay?” He wasn’t sure if that was the memory or the woman on top of him, quite frankly they’re both starting the sound the same.

“Babe you’ve been so silent, are you okay? You sat across from him, holding his hand. You two were at a Diner, it seemed very late.

“Yes, I’m alright, I’m not sure where I went.”

“I understand, you smile at him and squeeze his hand.” There is only one cup on the table.

Izuku walks between the tables looking concerned.

“Midoryia, nice seeing you, we were just waiting for our food.” The green haired man stares at him sympathetically and puts his hand on his shoulder.

“Shoto, I think you need to see someone.”

“Why?” He looks in front of him, no one’s there. The seat is empty. It dawns on him that he’s done it again, went off on an adventure like he used to do with someone who wasn’t there. He paid the tab and quickly left, making sure to ignore the concerned faces of people who recognized him and must’ve seen him talking to himself.

“Izuku.”

“Yes?”

“Do you think she’s dead?”

Reality welcomes him back and he sees the top of your head laying down on him. You’re very warm, it sounds like you’re muttering something to yourself.

You snap up, glossy eyes connecting with his heterochromatic ones. “I was worried you might have died.” There wasn’t an ounce of seriousness in your voice. He continued to say nothing and you could feel him tremble again. He must have noticed that you were no longer wearing pants or underwear. The sound of burning in the distance still emanated in the air. This was all so horrid, well, for him at least.

You pull off the mask hiding your face and he begins to struggle underneath you wildly. You hold on to the sides of his hip and let him thrash about.

“No no no no NO NO NO!”

“Shhhhh It’s okay, it’s me.” You crawl upwards to be closer to him, you watch him, wild and confused underneath you. He looks like an animal caught in headlights. “I’m gonna make this all so much easier for you.” You glide back down him, hand reaching first for his dick. You give him a few good strokes and hover above him, seeing if he’d move on his own.

There was nothing.

You know, I don't know why you idiot Heros have big cocks if you're not gonna use it. You plunge all the way down him, earning a delicious whimper as he twitches inside of you, clearly feeling overstimulated by what's happening. "Awwwww, I forgot you were a virgin. I’m not anymore, but I was thinking about you every time they touched me.” His insides felt like liquid, he hated this. He wanted to lose his virginity to you, but not like this. He still sees you as the soft girl he met at a bakery, he sees your smile as you giggled in the rain underneath your umbrella, he remembers all the times he's confided in you, and the memory can not merge with who you are now. Corrupted, violent, dark.

You continue bouncing on his dick, watching him writhe underneath you. You wonder where he is right now, he looks at you so betrayed, so lost, but you can't tell if its painful or in lust. At this point, it doesn't matter and it all becomes a muddled mixture of everything.

"Y/n, p-please. This isn't you."

You slowly lift your bottom half, making sure to keep eye contact with those beautiful eyes, waiting to see the moment when he loses all his composure.

"You don't know that. You don't know anything about me." You slowly go back down on him, making sure it feels like blissful hell. "Where were you Shoto?"

You slammed down again. "I needed you." Slam. "And you weren't there." Slam. "You weren't there for so fucking long." Slam. "But you're here now."

"I'm sorry I didn't save you. I won't leave you again." He's crying a cry you’ve never seen before. It should invoke worry in you, bring out the motherly instincts you always had for him, but instead it made you crave to see him broken like this again and again. You look at him tenderly and stroke his cheek. He seems like he’s on the verge of losing it.

“You're a good boy shoto, always have, always will be. And I can't hate my good boy.” He can’t escape to his head anymore, you were here, you were finally here with him.

You buck down on him, one hand leaned back on the concrete other on your phone's record button. You pull your mask down in order to distort your voice. "Show me you’re sorry". He bucks up into you, completely blissed out. His rhythm is sloppy and desperate, he can’t really think straight anymore. All of his thoughts are of you, and you were happy like this. He just wants to make you happy.

The light from the camera is blinding him, he should be covering his face, he should be doing something but he can't bring himself to fight against you. He smiles back at you and all he can manage out is a weak "I love you."

You look at him through your screen and he looks absolutely beautiful like this. Sweat plastered to his face, deep in a breakdown that you're sure he'll never recover from. You feel yourself going ragged against him, slapping his face as you near your end. He can't even form words anymore. Not an ouch, not a stop, just groaning and incoherent words. He's so close.

You slow your movements and grab him by the throat, just tight enough for his dick to feel it, but not tight enough for him to not be able to talk. "You're fucking worthless you know that right?"

"Yes."

"You're nothing without me."

"I'm nothing with or without you."

You pause and smile underneath the mask, surprised that you broke him down that badly in such a short time span.

"You're a fast learner. Now, smile Princess." You set your sights on the end and continue riding him with all the strength you had left. He obliges you, smiling with exhaustion, up at the light. You position your body at the right angle so his cock hits everything at the right angle, and you feel yourself flying over the edge of your orgasm. Your body spasms violently, your sure the camera is probably disoriented. Your hips continue to meet with his as you ride out your orgasm. He shortly met his own, moans and sobs echoing throughout the abandoned room.

You hope you caught that because you sure as hell couldn't see it through your own orgasm still burning through you.

You stopped the recording and laid on his chest in silence. A sticky liquid continued to drain down your legs, a lot of it actually. You tried not to focus on the feeling of his cum in you, it could probably get you going again and you definitely didn't need that. You instead listened to his heavy breathing, it felt so nice to be home.

He watched you type something away on your phone before you looked up at him. "This is gonna be everywhere in probably....20 minutes? Maybe even less. Your father will probably try to have it taken down but you know how the internet is." He continued to breathe on the ground, still feeling waves of his pleasure mixed with shame. He knows his Hero career is essentially over, but maybe it's better this way. You were the only person to ever understand him, and if he couldn't show you his love through saving you, he'd show you his love this way. Even if you never love him again, even if he can only see you smile by being below you. He just wants to be your hero, even if that means he has to be the world's villain.

You ran your finger through his hair, he cuddled further into you silently. He must've seen the news reports about his disappearance. It’s been weeks and it’s still on every station, his father is probably pushing hard to get him back but you know better than that. Besides, everyone loves his videos, every time you post it blasts to the top of trending before being “removed”. He should be happy to know his son is still alive. Your captors, well, coworkers let you keep a pet and you’ll be damned if anyone takes him away from you. "You're happy here right Sho?"

He says nothing, he just clutches into you further, his breathing increasing with every moment. That familiar tremble began to accompany his breathing, he was going to cry again.

"There there love, there there."

[gisellelx]

For the writer's ask game: 16, 30, 36, 41?

Thanks @running-awayy! 💖

16.  How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?

SO MANY. So, so many. This is one of those things that has gotten much worse over the years. I remember in high school and college, revision seemed so onerous but I had some teachers who really made us dig in deep and do it. And now it’s just a deep part of my process. I try to let a draft get down on paper without messing with it too much, but I always end up messing with it--at a bare minimum, I sit down and re-read what I wrote last, making some edits, before I start writing the next thing. I go to sleep and realize there’s a whole section missing. I’ve recently taken to slowing way down on fic for this reason. If a fic is being posted chapter by chapter as I write it, and I realize that whoops, no, four chapters back a character really needs see another a character do xyz in order to make this current scene make sense, I’m just stuck if it’s already posted. But if I’m sitting on the whole thing, I can go back and re-insert that scene, which is what I’m doing with my current WIP.  And once all of that is done when I’ve reached what most people would consider a final draft, I make three distinct passes on it. One is for cohesion--did I leave a character on one side of a room by mistake, which often happens as I’m revising and adding and subtracting big chunks. The second is for language--I’m looking for repetitive words, and for the rhythm of individual sentences, making sure the structure matches what I’m trying to do. The last pass is proofreading. So that’s three “final” drafts right there, to say nothing of however many came before it. 

30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

I answered this one in another one that was hiding while this was sitting (thanks for such fast asking!) so here’s another one I have in mind--I would really like to write a fic novel that is about the Cullens grappling with race ( @jessicanjpa has nudged me on this one). I can’t figure out exactly what the central conflict would look like, though, because they’re so fucking oblivious to it as characters. The closest I’ve come to it is in “Strange Fruit” and there are some hints of it in “Ordinary Time” as well, but that’s not canon-based. When I find a way in to that story I imagine I’ll feel compelled to write it. But it may well take me a long time to find the way in. I’ve seen it done many times in a very ham-fisted way, and I appreciate the effort, but before you have Carlisle and Edward and Jasper change, they have to have a reason to change. When I find that reason, I’ll write about it.

36.  Last sentence you wrote I’m working on two different scenes in this fic at once: 

“Pretty sure that if I had to be related to you, I’d have offed myself, too.”

41.  Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?

Learn craft! Read books and blog posts about writing. Try out different writing forms. Fanfic is such a great place to experiment because for most people, somebody is gonna read your stuff. Maybe only one person, but somebody. So you can try out different forms--does third person feel better? First person? Which tense? Try them out in different stories. Try writing a short fic where you use no adjectives. Try writing a fic from the perspective of an inanimate object. Do all the writing exercises you’d do in a creative writing class but post them on FFnet or tumblr or whatever. If you don’t know how to create a conflict, read about how other people do it.  Also read. Read more than just fanfic. In fact, if you really want to get good at writing, you have to read more books than fanfic. Fanfic has some particularities of the genre that don’t work or are absolutely nonexistent in non-derivative fiction and which will hold you back on creating really excellent fiction. For instance, learn how to get in and out of a flashback without putting it in italics. Not just because it will stop your work from looking ficcy but you’ll get a better sense for when you need to move around in time in a story. You’ll not just learn how to use the pluperfect tense, you’ll learn how to drive a story forward by going into the past (and when you don’t need to). Read the kinds of books that you want to write. Try out things that authors you read are doing. Notice when they do something that makes you stand up and notice the writing. Notice when a line just stays with you for weeks or longer--what is it about the language that did that?  And of course write a lot. Throw most of it out. Keep some of it. Show some of it to others. But keep doing it. It’s the only way to get better. 

(see I said I might go on forever. Whoops. Thank you! ) 

[the-luckiest-man]

@jamesafloat said:                                                                                                                            wowowow holy crap. So I’m the guy who made HHR (and who, much to everyone’s chagrin, voiced Joshua and a buncha other NPCs in the mod). In all of the five years since releasing I never saw this take, and it’s easily one of my favorites. Thank you for giving it the benefit of the doubt and for seeing it with a critical eye.    I totally agree with the moments of paternalism with the ‘natives’. I hoped that counselling with Salt-Upon-Wounds, instead of feeling like 'teaching the natives’ would feel like counselling with equals. But it’s not terribly subtle. Amy Wilks’ “witch doctor” business… yeah I get that. I do like the reveal, and I like her… cause of course I do. But 'local crazy lady’ would have been better.      As to Carrie and down’s syndrome… I don’t know if this made it in to the final version but the original intention was not as a cure to down’s but as a cure to seizures to which Carrie was prone. Carrie is a boss, she never needs to change, I probably made some missteps in presenting her but I cared about avoiding ableism.                                                                              And totally agree about Livius’ falling too much into the ‘villainous gay’ trope. If I was writing it now it’d probably be queerer, but likely because I’ve learned a lot in the past few years. I really loved Livius as a character and have been pretty sad to have so many people be annoyed at his place in the plot.                                                                                                                                     

Hey! So excited to see your reply on this post! I hope it’s okay to re-post here (in the most awkward way imaginable because Tumblr is a broken wreck) because I’m super interested in the things you have said.  Hope my review didn’t come off as too vicious ;)  Despite the criticisms I have, I’m still super impressed by all the work you did to bring us the mod; it was obviously a shit-ton, and in my opinion storywise still quite superior to vanilla HH.  While it’s important to be able to criticize the media we all consume and create, I definitely don’t want to downplay or ignore the unpaid labor of love that fan creators do to enlarge this sandbox we all love to play in.

I didn’t get the bit where the cure for Carrie was for her seizures...either it didn’t make it into the final text or I missed that somehow, so that’s awesome to know, cuz I definitely was mad when I thought it was about “curing” her, as herself, LOL!  As I said, I fuckin...I love her.  So much.  I would fight God for her.  Nuff said.

I read a few of the comments on the mod page back when I first downloaded your mod and yeah, people who thought Livius’ storyline was annoying or pointless are bad and wrong, that’s just how it is, sorry, I don’t make the rules.  Like I said, I’m very anti-Legion (oh man I LOL’ed for like, ten minutes straight when Brutus got offed) but I probably spent way more time than is humanly reasonable thinking about Livius’ storyline and imagining how it could turn into some kind of redemption arc (that’s the most fun part of the Gay Villain, of course. The inevitable enemies-to-lovers story you write in your head)  In all, I accept his role as Gay Villain because it was sexy and tragic.  Others’ mileage may differ; I definitely can’t speak for all gays.

The parts about the natives, yeah.  Well, that whole treatment in vanilla HH and in FNV in general needs some serious looking at.  The whole history of the Mormons in Utah and the native tribes there is uhhh....not good, as we know, and the blatant sidestepping of that entire history is just one aspect of how the game in general fails spectacularly when it comes to Native representation.  But there are some native FNV fans here on Tumblr who are re-writing Honest Hearts, as well, with a Native storyline and focus, involving actual tribes and bands who live in that area -- it seems really cool!  I think @comrade-shrimp is heading that effort if you wanted to check it out.  Anyway, thanks again for finding my little review and adding your words!

[janiedean]

Hey, lately I've seen a lot of people hate on book!Tyrion and talk about what a terrible person he is and wanted to hear your take on that, because I don't really get it. I think that he is a really interesting character in the books, more so than in the second half of the show, if you ask me.

(sorry for replying this late I needed time to get to it and stuff happened haha)

soooo... tldr: I think *tumblr* has a shitload of issues with tyrion that are 90% rooted in the fact that this website thinks hating men is cool/that men are the worst always *and* also only cries ableism when it’s convenient or to call ableist things that are not in fact such (ie ‘omg if you use stupid is ableist’ which... automatically implies that anyone with a disability is *stupid* and the likes), and in tyrion’s case there’s.... an overlap of those specific issues added to the fact that since he’s a general fan favorite regardless of any fault of his then it’s fine to trash on him. going in depth on it:

now, there’s admittedly a difference in between book and show tyrion in the sense that the show version is a lot less gray and has cut on a lot of material in that sense, but like...... it’s d&d who after they decided to chunk the book storyline couldn’t write him properly so I’m not touching that topic because it’s not *his* issue, it’s theirs, and as you said... well obv. he’s more interesting in the books, because he has a lot more layers and he actually does something post-asos instead of rehashing the same three jokes that aren’t even on par with *his* book humor because he’s too smart for d&d to pull off correctly (I mean from S6 to S8 they managed to give him good lines in... the finale? PROBABLY? but they can’t write him, it’s their problem);

when it comes to book!tyrion, he obviously has faults same as 99,9% of the characters in these books, but all of those faults are... absolutely understandable given his background? I mean, so he hates his father and his sister, has fairly unhealthy coping methods and that got worse after asos, but... he comes from a lifetime of parental/familial abuse that crowned with tywin forcing him to rape his then-wife who actually did love him and convincing him he was unlovable, cersei was molesting him in the cradle and the only person who cared about him outside the uncles brigade which wasn’t around all the time was jaime who went off to get traumatized for himself at thirteen, and that just because of how he looks and for his disability, do we ask him to be a perfectly adjusted person? not really, and actually the fact that he tries to be better than 99% of his family all the time and that he actually has a lot of empathy for disadvantaged people and empathy in general says a lot about how he’s a pretty damn decent person, not a terrible one;

now, I think that this fandom on tumblr has ten problems with him because in order, the fact that he’s a man already puts him on a disadvantaged level but that’s common to most guys in this fandom like on tumblr in this fandom if a female character fucks up and a male character fucks up, the latter will be called out upon it way more than than the female character. also, abused male characters don’t get recognition for that 99% of the time. but that also means that his disability gets brushed off/ignored because since **according to tumblr standards** it’s not stopping him from doing most of what he’d like and no one takes it into account, his abuse gets brushed off/ignored because WELL HE’S NOT THE ONLY ONE, the fact that he’s a man means he has male privilege and whatever the fuck else and since he’s technically (in the book at least) Not Standard Attractive then he doesn’t even get the shitload of excuses hot people get in virtue of being hot;

also, there’s a certain attitude I really don’t like at all whatsoever to describe the fact that in his POVs he always goes about how much he hates his father/cersei or WHERE DO THE WHORES GO in adwd as whining/being unable to get over it/dying of self-pity but like.......... that’s..... how he copes with knowing he’s been treated like shit? like, thing is: in a literary genius foil with his brother who has no idea of the crap he was unjustly subjected to if not very subconsciously and whose coping method is *going away* and/or forgetting about things and/or not thinking about them, tyrion’s coping method is never letting himself forget it and honestly.... so he thinks shit about his father and sister all the time? tough luck, they’re his abusers, ofc he does. he can’t get over thinking no one will love him because of his looks? tough luck, he was told that all his life and when he found someone he thought did tywin organized that rouse so he’d think she was with him for money and he forced him to rape her which is also called rape by proxy so he’s also a rape victim and he was thirteen? wow, if I were him ie someone whose first advice to a main character in these books was ‘never forget about your weaknesses and make them your armor so people can’t hurt you with them’ then I also would be thinking about that all the time. he’s an abuse victim and he’s not away from his abusers until the end of asos, what are we expecting, that he’d get over it? actually it’s a way healthier method than jaime’s because at least he knows he’s been wronged all along and he can see both c. and his father for the assholes they are but at least he knows that and he harbors no illusions about them even if he still kind of wants them to love him same as most people would, but like... that’s not whining? that’s stuff that it’s absolutely normal he should be thinking? also, the where do the whores go thing in adwd is....... basically he just learned that his biggest trauma was not what he believed it was and he has to reconcile himself with the fact that a) tysha never not loved him, b) jaime was in on it even if he subconsciously knows that he also was a victim in that ploy (when he dreams about killing him in adwd he’s crying, sooooo) and he has to know because jaime told him out of *guilt* and he damn well knows it, like he’s re-elaborating the entire thing, obviously he’s fixated on it??? I mean the moment I figured out a specific thing that I hadn’t realized about an unhealthy relationship I had with someone I spent a month thinking about it every other moment for a month and it was nowhere near that same level of terrible, and I’m surprised that he thinks about that for all of adwd? like, I find those justifications very iffy and incredibly dismissive of a) his trauma b) his abuse victim status;

also there’s the whole HE KILLED TYWIN thing but..... I honestly am baffled it’s even a thing fandom thinks he should pay for or anything. like, the problem is that he killed *shae* in that context, and that was also out of feeling betrayed after just learning of how it really went with tysha, and that’s why he’s on the downward spiral/his lowest point in adwd, but.... tywin? really? like tywin is an asshole period, he abused him all his life, he traumatized the shit out of him for his entire life and made him grow up thinking he was unlovable and outright told him he wanted to drown him, and not even counting what tywin did to *him*, we’re talking about someone who went and calmly planned the red wedding the moment he realized there was no way he could take out robb without treachery and didn’t feel particularly bothered by it on a moral level, and we’re sad that he died or think that tyrion has to pay for it because he killed his abuser who also never really was a father to him in any sense of the word? like what the fuck does tyrion owe tywin? literally nothing and tbqh it’s tywin narratively reaping the seeds of what he’s sown if tyrion goes and offs him. like, a lot of people re fixed on this thing about OH HE KILLED HIS FATHER HE DOESN’T DESERVE REDEMPTION but the narrative doesn’t ask it of him. he has to make peace and find his own redemption for killing shae at that point, not tywin. tywin had it coming since the moment he showed up. like, saying he’s a horrible person for offing someone who only ever abused the shit out of him doesn’t really fly as far as I’m concerned;

at this point we get to ‘okay but in adwd he does a lot of questionable things’, but..... a) he’s supposed to be at his lowest narrative point and a lot of people have done a lot of questionable things at their lowest narrative point in these books, I mean if I think theon can have a nice life and get better after his WF stint I can think that tyrion can have a nice life and get better after his adwd stint, b) it’s nothing he’ll be proud of when he pulls his shit together (and he already had started by the end of adwd) but I mean... it’s nothing worse than most people who have to pull their shit together in these books have done lately, like honestly writing him off as a horrible person because of his adwd stint reaaaaally reeks to me of double standard which is based on the fact that no one around here wants to recognize that he’s an abuse victim and his reactions are valid and that yes his disability singles him out and is the reason people target him and not his merits or demerits. I mean he even spells it out, he’s been on trial for being a dwarf all his life/everyone already judged him for that regardless of his actual faults, and that’s not him being delusional, it’s the truth. he’s a person who certainly has faults same as anyone else but guess what a lot of people around fandom do what tywin does and exacerbate them if you ask my opinion;

(that also can be seen when it comes to what people think of the guy being shipped around because believe me I wish I hadn’t seen people saying he couldn’t be a good option for sansa because he’s not the beautiful gallant stainless dude she deserves, and I’m saying it as a sansan shipper first but come the fuck on) (other than that tyrion/bronn is ofc the superior ship but nvm me)

also there’s the whole thing where people decided that since tyrion is a general fandom fave in between the w.org/reddit crowd/general audience then obviously if the dudebros (ugh i can’t with that generalization anymore sure af freefolk is less puritan than tumblr from what I see) like him then he has to also incarnate the Worst Type Of Male Fan Of Asoiaf In Existence and like........ now, I don’t doubt that when it comes to the *general audience* there’s a lot of misconceptions going around plus a lot of his character faults get ignored (I mean when I went on w.org the first time the first thread I ran into was like ‘wow sansa is a bitch for not kneeling at once when they married and making him feel like shit’ I mean that’s a situation where you should feel bad for both but calling her a bitch for not wanting to kneel while marrying a guy she was forced to who also belonged to the family that killed her brother and mother and her father too is like......... come on seriously?) but that’s the same with most fandom faves in any fandom, it doesn’t mean that if some of his fans see him with rose-tinted glasses then on this side of the pond we have to decide he sucks when he doesn’t, and as I said time and time again..... do we remember the last time that in any fandom the general audience favorite character who sells the merchandise more than anyone else is a disabled abuse victim who doesn’t shut up about it and tries to be better than anyone else thinks them able to? because I don’t and while tyrion is not top five asoiaf for me I’m very glad that *he* is the general audience favorite. so they don’t get the point or see him with rose-tinted glasses? happens to fandom faves in general, but it doesn’t mean that he’s a terrible person in the text just because the dudebro crowd (if we wanna call it like that but meh) likes him. so what, he is the audience fave? good, I’m beyond fine with him being the audience fave. I honestly don’t think it’s an argument that should even be brought up because ‘that character’s fans are shit so the character is automatically shit because we judged the fans on their supposed gender’ is not an argument. *shrug*

tldr: I think people on here exaggerate his flaws (that everyone has) and are bitchy about the fact that he is the general audience favorite because how dare a guy who’s as far as we know cishet (which is already bad for tumblr standards), not standard hot (crime!!), has a disability (which gets ignored 90% of the time when discussing his privilege or lack thereof), is an abuse victim who won’t let you forget it and you can’t deny/headcanon differently (which is a thing tumblr can’t accept - I mean, men being abuse victims, and with hc differently I mean that people outright deny that idk jaime was one because he doesn’t realize he was so you have to actually read into the text to realize it, but they can decide he’s not because it requires effort to put it together - or deny sandor was one because we don’t have his pov and we only see his destructive coping methods and so on - with tyrion they can’t because he never lets you forget he was and admitting it is apparently hard, also one of his abusers is a woman and We Do Not Admit That Women Can Be Abusers On Tumblr Dot Com) and who has fucked up but not worse than most people in these books be the audience favorite? WE JUST DON’T KNOW. personally I think he’s pretty damn great and an amazingly conceived/written character (I mean in a series where all the characters weren’t so well-rounded and I didn’t have other people I latched on before that he’d have totally been top three material for me he just got unlucky to be in the one series where everyone is well-rounded and there’s people that I resonate personally more with but really he’s an amazing character all around) and I can’t wait for him to pull his shit together in the next book and possibly get the nice ending he deserves along with better dialogue than d&d gave him, but from there to say he’s a horrible person.... geez. my list of horrible persons in these books runs very long and he’s nowhere near it. ofc he has faults but no character in these books is faultless except maybe gilly, and not even people under the age of twelve are faultless in these books come on. 

[violetosprey]

BTD/TDDUP:  Who’s the most dangerous human character?

There is a counterpart post to this for the supernatural BTD characters already posted here if you want to check that out :P

I love the human characters in the BTD/TDDUP series.  Probably a little more than the supernatural characters to be honest.  When it comes to who I think is the most dangerous in regards to the public/humanity, I had to put quite a bit of thought into this.  I don’t really have a ranking system for these, but the main things I thought about were body count, level of sadism, and physique/intellect.

 I’m also going to be thinking about the difference here between who is actively the most dangerous vs. others who are potentially more dangerous.  But the real rating will be based on who’s “actively” more dangerous.

*major spoilers below*

I’m going to do this post from LEAST dangerous to MOST dangerous (opposite of my supernatural post because while the winner there was obvious, there is more to debate here I think).  Remember that these are only my personal opinion.  All decisions are up for debate.

7) Chris

I think it’s easy to explain why I have Chris at the bottom of the list.  He’s a sweet guy.  Unlike any other the other characters in these games, he was never looking to actively harm anyone.  He only snapped and seriously beat up one person.  And said person was HIS abuser so…yeah it’s even a little justified here (he just takes it a little too far).  There’s no indication either that Chris is quick to snap like this.  It’s implied that the MC and he were married for quite some time.  So he’s a rather gentle and timid guy who endured the abuse for a while.  If we’re talking “actively” most dangerous, Chris is the weakest here. If we were considering his potential to be a danger to society, he doesn’t really display any strong/consistent sadistic tendencies, or a high intellect to make him a common criminal or a mastermind of any kind.  I’ll give him this; he’s probably one of the physically strongest of the humans on this list.  I’d say the strongest physically here are probably Chris, Lawrence (if you still count him as human), and Marcus.  I don’t think his physique alone is enough to say he’d be a severe menace to society though.

6) Aria?

So we don’t learn a WHOLE lot about Aria.  She doesn’t look all that intimidating.  She doesn’t give me the impression that she sure works out enough to be able to take some of the guys on this list either.  But between her and Chris, Aria I’d say is capable of being a lot nastier. Chris has a right to be mad when he’s beating you down, but Aria seems SO much more vile when she tortures you. Yes, she has a right to be mad as well, but I always felt more uncomfortable with Aria torturing the MC. I found myself wondering if she took it too far.  I wrote a post long ago on Aria and my thoughts on her. There I go into more detail on why she makes me feel so uncomfortable (she’s actually the one character in the ENTIRE BTD/TDDUP series that made me have to take a break from the game for a bit).  But while she scares ME a whole lot, I have to put her lower on this list realistically.  Other than her sour relationship with the MC, I don’t really think she’s constantly tormenting other human beings in her spare time.  At least not as far as I’m concerned.  She’s an attorney for her main occupation, and very intelligent. So she’s definitely someone you don’t want to be on the opposing side at least.  So her “active” danger level is more that she’s likely cutthroat in the judicial system, but not really offing people on the side.  She does have a higher “potential” danger level though because not only COULD she possibly screw you over in the court of law to land you in jail…but apparently she has connections to HUMAN TRAFFICKERS. That.is.terrifying.  

5) Marcus?

Those who have wandered around my blog tumblr for a bit know I ADORE Marcus.  I think he makes a fantastic villain and a complete jerk :P He is INCREDIBLY intimidating.  He’s got a strong build and police training under his belt, so good luck overtaking him.  My money is actually on him being the physically strongest on this list.  He IS the tallest, and has the muscle to fill out the space.  I think his training could beat out Lawrence’s build (which just comes from manual labor). Chris is the only one I think who could give Marcus a run for his money (depends on Chris’s boxing skills and how well Chris keeps in shape honestly).  And intellect?  He’s both a good actor out in public, and calculating enough to plan a kidnapping and permanent captivity situation for his ex.  Yikes!  While I don’t think Marcus is a complete sadist (compared to some other BTD/TDDUP characters), he DOES show some enjoyment in tormenting the MC too.  So then, why don’t I have him higher on this list? Well if this was a list for “potentially” most dangerous, Marcus would win.  Can you imagine if Marcus was a full blown serial killer while working as a cop?  He could cover his tracks REALLY well.  He probably does cover his tracks after kidnapping the MC (AND he killed John to avoid witnesses).  But the thing to remember here is that Marcus ISN’T usually an active murderer.  He’s got one murder and one kidnapping under his belt, but as far as we know that’s pretty much it.  He’s a good cop most of the time.  He spends most of his time putting criminals away, not being one himself. The MC just makes him crazy.  So “actively,” he’s not usually as dangerous as some of the other human characters.  He could be more dangerous I think if people try to intervene and take the MC away from him. Otherwise, he’s on the public’s side most of the time.  Like with Aria, probably will leave you alone unless you cross him.

4) Ellen?

So Ellen doesn’t have a strong build to make her impossible to fend off, and she doesn’t have any scary connections like Aria does.  Plus, she’s only a college student.  So why should I place her higher than people like Marcus or Aria? One word: Unstable.  Oh she’s an intelligent young woman who carries on a conversation just fine.  She has a lot of insight as well.  But she also: Is interested in getting closer to a person she KNOWS is a serial killer AND necrophiliac, experiences catharsis by seeing others in pain, kidnaps Jack’s spouse and treats them like her pet dog, and has quite a bit of interesting ways to kill you both accidentally and intentionally.  This type of behavior indicates she’s more likely to cause harm to others.  The only problem is I don’t know is she’s really…done a whole lot of damage to other people at this point in time.  She may be too young yet (her potential victim count simply hasn’t had a chance to climb yet).  If she was willing to help Jack with his work though, something tells me she’s on the wrong track.  Still, since I don’t know how often she’s gone out of her way to hurt others in her daily life, she could move up or down on this list in regards to “actively” dangerous.

3) Lawrence

So if you want to disregard the bit about Lawrence being rotted by the river and turning into a lich, Lawrence was indeed born a human.  You can take him out of this list otherwise (I have him also in the supernatural post to cover my bases).  Similar to Ellen, I’m placing Lawrence higher on this list because of how unstable he is. And unlike Ellen, we actually ARE given hints that the MC in BTD2 is not Lawrence’s first victim.  If you’ve read my supernatural post counterpart to this, you know what I have to say about Lawrence.  I’ll just cheat a little and grab from that post :P

“ He might freak out/snap at people more frequently that we realize.  When he is upset too, unfortunately it’s not just that he’s letting his frustration out on whoever is standing next to him.  Remember at the beginning of BTD2, how Lawrence got upset when Ren left?  MC left the bar first, and Lawrence followed them OUT with the intention of beating them up.  He’s dangerous.  And when he kidnaps you (cuz he freaked out that he’d get in trouble for hurting you)…it’s kind of implied this isn’t the first time he’s done this.  He’s not as big a sadist as the others, but sometimes he does take a little more enjoyment in cutting you up than he should if you’ve managed to send him over the edge.  Not an intellectual himself, and he’s a little difficult to reason with. His physique also makes it hard to overtake him (you have to kill him when he’s sleeping).”

So yes, unstable, physical threat, small hints of sadism, and bigger body count makes Lawrence a greater danger to society.

The REAL Debate:  Strade vs. Jack

If we’re talking “who’s the most dangerous to society”…of course the ones most ACTIVELY dangerous would be the serial killers.  The only question is, which one is MORE dangerous? This can be a little tricky to answer. The problem is we have one serial killer who’s very straightforward and we know EXACTLY how he operates (Strade), while we have another who we hardly know anything about his methods of killing (Jack).  Strade is openly charming and cheery, but takes extreme pleasure in tormenting and killing individuals he usually tricks/kidnaps from local bars.  Jack is more of an enigma:  You don’t know where he finds his victims, how he interacts with them, his method of killing them, and  how often he kills them.  We know that young Jack is pretty sadistic, but older Jack doesn’t appear to share that same level of sadism.  Jack’s a big mystery overall.  Both Strade and Jack seem to show no remorse in regards to what they do either. Physique, they’re…probably not too different strength wise to be honest.  I don’t know their exercise routines to be able to choose one properly over the other.  I’d say Jack is probably more intelligent (he at least shows his education more than Strade does).  But since we don’t know how Jack operates when he’s killing, I don’t know to what extent he utilizes his intellect as a serial killer.  For all we know, he could be a little more primal with his killings, and just uses his wits to cover his tracks.  Who has more kills by the way either?  Strade kills for a living, so he probably has a large body count considering that’s how he makes his money.  Jack on the other hand lets the corpses rot away for quite a while, so I don’t know how frequently he feels the need to replace them.  So how do I choose between the two of these killers then?  Well there’s something I almost forgot about: longevity.  We actually have CANON timelines for these guys.  Strade is age 34 in BTD, and in BTD2 Ren is 2 years old than in BTD.  I apologize if you haven’t played BTD2 yet but…Strade’s dead in BTD2.  Gato confirmed that eventually one of his victims became too much to handle (in fact I think even one of the death endings in BTD can be taken as the canon ending that leads to BTD2- MC dies, but they’re able to take Strade out with them). So the oldest Strade ever lived to be would have been 36 at most.  Jack in TDDUP is 50 years old.  Young Jack in the extra scene is 25 years old.  Electricpuke DID confirm that by that time at least, Jack had already killed. So he’s been a killer for a bare minimum of 25 years.  Strade, I don’t know when he started killing, but let’s say maybe age 18 at the youngest (is it 18 or 19 you can go drink in bars in Canada?)  So killing for 18 years possibly.  Maybe he started younger, who knows.  Even then, the numbers look pretty close.  Just no way to really know the body count comparison between the two. Now in TDDUP, depending on your head-canon preference, Jack either gets away (I always consider the “You are alone” ending the canon one myself), or MC does successfully kill Jack.  And really the only reason I think Jack gets killed is because the MC is his weakness.  Strade bit off more than he could chew with his chosen victim, and Jack got caught by the one person he lets his guard down with.

Overall, I think this is a very close race, and maybe should be judged by who YOU think is the kind of person you’d hate to come across more, and who you think has killed more.  For me, I think I’ll go…

2) Strade

1) Jack

Personally, I’d hate to be caught by Strade more I think, but I don’t know if Jack does any torture either.  I decided to base this more off of Jack’s ability to get away with what he does for so long.

This was fun!  Please do feel free to disagree though and even add your own thoughts.

[mortalpractice]

I got an anon message recently asking whether I would post spoken word because it tends to lift up marginalized voices, and it got me thinking that I should make a list to help people find more marginalized voices on my blog and on the internet in general.

So, some journals I read regularly which seek out/frequently publish marginalized voices:

Kweli publishes exclusively poets of color 

The Offing seeks out work from marginalized voices

Vinyl doesn’t have an explicit mission statement, but the majority of the poetry I’ve read there is from POC and/or LGBTQIA* writers 

Hawai’i Pacific Review publishes a lot of work by Indigenous Hawaiians

Winter Tangerine (recently published an issue dedicated to the experience of being black in America)

Most of the journals I read have something in their mission statement about lifting up new/marginalized voices, but these are some off the top of my head that really live up to that promise.

I am also including a list of some POC and/or LGBTQIA* poets I enjoy very much. These are all poets whose book(s) I have bought or, if they do not have books yet, eagerly await!:

Kaveh Akbar (website, twitter)

Mark Doty

Joshua Jennifer Espinoza ( @blankslate , twitter)

Ross Gay (wesbite)

June Jordan (posthumous website)

Kien Lam (website, twitter)

Ada Limón (website, twitter)

Jamie Mortara ( @jamiemortara , twitter)

Paisley Rekdal (website, twitter)

He’s practically the Poet Laureate of Tumblr, so everyone already knows, but Richard Siken (website)

Wendy Xu (website, twitter)

I have purchased work by Chen Chen (website, twitter) and Sam Herschel Wein (website) but have not read it yet; however, I have loved what I’ve read of each of them so far.

I realize that POC and LGBTQIA* poets are not the only ones whose voices are marginalized (and that these traits do not preclude advantages of other kinds), but things like social class, disability, and a whole host of others can be less visible unless a poet is explicit about it. 

I have missed a great many names, either by oversight or lack of familiarity, so please reblog this post with your own favorite poets from marginalized groups and/or journals which lift them up!