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insanelyadd · 1 year ago

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Collector and Archivist Family Headcanons

I got one person who said they wanted to see this when I asked, so this is for you. <3

Before I get into describing the relationships of the siblings (Which I think I did a really good job writing and describing), it is important you know a few background details (that are also headcanons). As a little heads up warning, under the cut there will be mentions of: Imprisonment, neglect, abuse, manipulation, toxic family dynamics, child murder (the Titans), murder (also the Titans), abandonment, guilt, PTSD(?). I think that's it. Let me know which of the Archivists are your least favorite, I'm keeping track and so far one of them is ahead by a lot.

As a reminder this is what My Archivists look like, I swear to god tumblr if you tank the image quality when I publish this:

Free headcanon before we transition to under the read more: I gave The Collector and The Archivists "true names" (and in the Archivist's case, specific code names) because I have a HC that the reason we never learn any "normal" names for any of them is that if a mortal knows a Collector's True Name then that mortal (non-Collector) has power over them. Their magic no longer has much, if any, effect, and they can be harmed by the mortal.

They had one parent named Nebula who used xey/xem pronouns. Their parent has been imprisoned for trying to raise xeir children to believe contrary to the extremism of destroying planets when people get mad about their loved ones being kidnapped, which would probably reflect onto the children that their parent cared more about xeir contrarian morality than them, since xey definitely would have known what would happen when/if xey were caught. They have to have had a parent because the large age disparity between the eldest Archivist and the Collector would typically imply a more parental role, so they need to have all shared a parent.

When the other Collectors came to arrest Nebula, xey tried to fight it so xey could stay with xeir children but xey were easily outnumbered and overpowered. After Nebula were apprehended, the other Collectors began to round up the children so they could be brought to new adult(s) to be raised “properly”, but once they noticed Penumbra was roughly adult age, they asked her if she would be willing to become their caretaker, as otherwise the other children may all be separated, because who would want to suddenly accept 5 new children, including an infant. So Penumbra took on all this responsibility herself to prevent them from being separated.

Sketch of the happy family after these events, now with finalized designs.

Next info bit relates to a theory I have about how the room where Phillip found the Collector's disk could not have been made by the Titan ("Ah yeah lemme teleport this into my skull where I have conveniently made a locked door to put it behind") or Titan Trappers (they would have absolutely taken the disk instead), so this room had to have been made by SOMEBODY and the most likely candidate is the Archivists. To expand upon this, I believe they absolutely had access to Titan Blood and the Disk and chose to leave the Collector behind.

They most likely did this because whoever found the disk would very quickly find out they need Titan's blood or a Titan's help to release the Collector, in any case, the last Titan would need to be hatched, and accessible. The Archivists very likely assumed that he would return to them and when that happened they'd go back to the planet to finish what they started (killing the last Titan if they were not already killed to release them, and then possibly microwaving the planet).

They need to stop taking family photos after one of them is imprisoned, now with finalized designs.

NOW FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIPS!

Nebula, the Archivists' parent, loves all of xeir children dearly, and hopes they are all doing well without xem.

Penumbra:

Penumbra had a very good relationship with Nebula, but after xey were imprisoned for raising them "wrong", Penumbra resents xem. Xeir actions led to Penumbra being forced to raise four children all by herself while she, herself, was barely an adult by the standards of Collector society (I'd say 16 but simultaneously I'm assigning numbers for convenience to myself rather than it being a true translation of their ages as I feel many of our concepts of aging and other things are not be truly cross-compatible). Taking care of a teenager (14), two children (8), and a toddler (2), all while trying to continue to do her duties as a Collector (starting at the Collector equivalent of 8 years old they can assist on Collections, so Satellite, Solari, and Crescent all would have been able to help to varying degrees) would have been extremely stressful for her and it strained her relationship with all of her younger siblings.

She gets along best with Crescent since he was old enough to be almost entirely self-sufficient, though she was still very immature. They would occasionally come to points of contention specifically about how much Crescent should be allowed to do, with both of them having different perspectives on what she can do and what he can't do. Penumbra felt like he should contribute more on Collections and play less with Cosmos (the Collector), while Crescent felt like she should be allowed to help care for and watch Cosmos more since Penumbra assigning herself as sole caretaker of them was very obviously wearing her out. This would ease as Crescent got older, but as Cosmos also got older and less dependent, Penumbra became less stressed which made Crescent press less about caring for him, though she still enjoyed spending time with them (if any of the Archivists were likely to want children it would be Crescent).

Penumbra has a much more tense relationship with Satellite who took Nebula's imprisonment the hardest. Penumbra feels like Satellite resented her for the role she was forced to fill as their new sole caretaker. Satellite became much more quick to anger and was openly hostile when in a bad mood, which is ultimately why Penumbra decided they should be the Cartographer, because it gave them a lot of time by themself, since it seemed so obvious to her that they couldn't stand their own family. Penumbra also has a bitterness towards Satellite for their repeated verbal abuse towards Cosmos. All she wanted was for them to play nice with their baby brother so she could have a moment alone with her thoughts, or to work on projects and sometimes it worked, but it is impossible for her to tell when Satellite is in a bad mood (since they suppress their emotions until they explode) until she hears them screaming and Cosmos crying and has to show up to yell at Satellite and comfort Cosmos.

Penumbra has a horrible relationship with Solari. Unless they are speaking on official matters regarding their jobs, Solari has a tendency to undercut everything with sarcasm and disdain. Solari only ever seems truly happy and genuine when deep in thought categorizing and organizing the Archives, which was something Penumbra picked up on quite quickly, seeing how organized and easy to find everything in their room was, especially compared to the random hordes of assorted trinkets present in Crescent and Satellite's rooms (and her own if she felt like being honest), and assigned her as the Archive’s Curator. Penumbra feels like Solari needs to be preoccupied with other tasks while interacting with anyone because she otherwise expends her excess mental energy to be snide and cold to people, like they want to tell jokes but she's too mean or emotionally distant to bother thinking of ones that aren't cruel. Penumbra also DEEPLY dislikes Solari's tendency to be rough with Cosmos when she sends him off to play with them. He doesn't seem to mind the shooting star game, as long as he isn't thrown into objects or so far away they can't find their way back, but Solari does things that scare Cosmos and piss off Penumbra, like boxing him into small spaces or stomping their foot hard enough for the floor to crack right in front of him, or punching walls and slamming doors when she’s aggravated about them being around. She's never actually hurt them on purpose, with a few accidental times resulting in Solari immediately apologizing, healing him if necessary, and leaving him alone. But if the day ever comes where they do hurt him on purpose Penumbra is fully prepared to wring their neck and lock her in her room for 100 years, impeccable talent for organizing be damned.

Penumbra has a complicated relationship with Cosmos. She is their older sister but also effectively their mother, having been his sole caretaker for a majority of his life, but she’s also exhausted by him. She raised Cosmos from a literal infant into a curious and playful child. Unfortunately the playfulness and curiosity are a non-stop feature and not one that only conveniently exists when she wants a break from her duties or when she's giving him his lessons on their culture, the universe, or their vast Collection. She also gets easily frustrated with them just like the twins do, but she prides herself in being able to easily dismiss those feelings despite her bone deep burnout for childcare. She sends him on tasks in the Archives, uses the cultures of the beings she’s observing at any given time to concoct new games for him to play, or redirects them to any of the other available siblings. She loves them very much but she also desperately wanted a break from him.

Crescent:

Crescent had the worst relationship with Nebula, which isn’t to say it was even bad, but that once she found out that xey were breaking their laws by teaching them all “incorrectly”, he turned xem in. Crescent much prefers the rules as they are Meant To Be, because the way Nebula taught them was much less efficient, which is what she prefers. It wasn’t until the incident with the Titans that he became more openly gleeful about ending the lives of mortals, before then it remained largely just another part of her duties as a Collector. Nobody knows how other Collectors found out about Nebula doing this, and Crescent knows better than to tell his siblings about this.

Crescent feels like an equal to Penumbra, in that they both are the eldest, with only a few “years” apart from each other, and he is given free reign to make executive decisions while performing her duties on planets alone. She still has a slight bitterness about Penumbra refusing to let him help raise Cosmos, because she believes if Penumbra was less stressed she would have lashed out less to Satellite and Solari, and blames her for some of their behavioral issues. For the most part though he doesn’t let these feelings interfere at all with how he interacts with her, because they are The Charmer, and she prides herself on being able to be incredibly charismatic, smoothing over moments of tension between Penumbra and the Twins easily, lying to and manipulating mortals even more easily.

Crescent silently despises Satellite. She would never let it slip how she really feels about them, but inside whenever they are forced to interact she is constantly imagining scenarios in which it may be appropriate to punch them. He HATES their inability to telegraph how they’re feeling more clearly, because she hates not being able to read people. Their emotional constipation means it’s harder for him to get a read on how best to placate or flatter them in any given situation. His frustration about this coupled with Satellite’s extreme hostility at the drop of a hat makes it so Crescent loathes interaction with them.

Crescent outwardly gets along very well with Solari, as they can very very easily figure out the best course of action to take in any given interaction they share. He still doesn’t enjoy her company that much though, as her tendency to “jokingly” insult her pisses her off, especially paired with what Crescent perceives as extreme arrogance when Solari tries to act intimidating and tough to him. Crescent is probably the most physically fit of all of the Archivists (magically it is much harder to decipher who’s on top) and is insulted that the least physically capable of all of them (excluding the actual child) even entertains the idea that she could fight him, especially with her misplaced confidence in these moments that Crescent perceives to be them believing they could even win. At every opportunity that has presented itself Crescent fights her and takes them down VERY quickly, which makes Solari even more passive aggressive and angry at him.

Crescent adored Cosmos. Always enjoying playing with them, telling him stories about the Collections she’s gone on recently, teaching him new magic tricks. Crescent liked that they were easy to read and easy to lead, easily redirecting their energy at tasks and “games” that could easily preoccupy them until they got tired enough to sleep. Still, he believed it was a great idea to send them to the Titan Planet to see how he would do on his first excursion as an Actual Collector, even after the Titans proved to be able to harm Cosmos they weighed the benefits against the risks of leaving them there. Benefits being that he could function as a good distraction while she whipped up a quick plan to wipe the Titans out, risks being the Titans catching on and harming Cosmos or doing so accidentally. Crescent concluded the Titans were far too nice to harm them, and believed himself to be clever enough to quickly mount up an attack on the Titans that would wipe them out before they’d even be able to register what happened.

Satellite:

Satellite loved Nebula more than anyone, even their own twin (but don’t tell Solari that). The feeling of betrayal and abandonment they felt when it was revealed that xey had broken laws which resulted in xeir imprisonment destroyed everything that they knew in their mind.

Satellite is afraid of Penumbra, which used to not be the case, at least, not to the same extent. Satellite never really got along with any of their siblings except Solari on a consistent basis but Penumbra’s idea to make them the Cartographer at first felt fine, even Satellite didn’t fully understand what would set them off and enjoyed the time alone and moments of peace they got exploring space and searching out new places to Collect from. Eventually they realized that they actually hated being alone, they didn’t like how easily Penumbra sent them to do probably the most isolating task any of them could do to maintain their Archive. This strained their relationship quite a bit, but seeing how easily Penumbra was able to cast aside Cosmos after he was sealed in the mirror shook something in them. They thought Penumbra loved Cosmos more than any of the other siblings, a leftover piece of jealousy at him receiving so much attention after Nebula was taken away, but they couldn’t comprehend Penumbra actually even DISLIKING them in any capacity so it simply meant that to Penumbra All of the other Archivists were disposable if she came up with a good enough reason to abandon them.

Satellite is also afraid of Crescent but for reasons that are the same and completely different. The same because Crescent didn’t even argue with Penumbra’s plan to leave the disk on the Titan Planet, and in fact came up with the idea to leave behind folklore and stories about how “The Collector” was so powerful to entice people to want to find him and release him. Different because while Satellite was more apathetic to mortals, the lessons Nebula told them about how mortal life is sacred and should be protected (which is only slightly different from what they were “meant” to be told about how mortal life is sacred and must be protected by collecting unless they resist in which case they should be taken by force and their home and any stragglers left to die as they destroyed their planet) resulted in Satellite being deeply disturbed by Crescent’s total glee upon orchestrating mortals to fight the Titans on his behalf, easily ignoring how many of the Titan Trappers she had trained were killed in the battles against the full grown titans. Wearing the skulls of the babies and children, and encouraging the Trappers and other Archivists to do the same. Satellite knows how good she is at reading people, they aren’t stupid, they see how when Crescent is around fights are resolved easily, how the mortal Trappers were so easily swayed by her words and loyally fought in battle for him to the very last breath. Satellite isn’t as good at reading people but they sense their emotional non-transparency frustrates him which Satellite is just fine with, to a small extent because it can be used to protect them from her but also they worry about it making Crescent angry enough to do something about it one of these days.

Solari is Satellite’s only friend. They confide in her frequently about what they are feeling, and spend much of their time when not exploring space hanging out with them in the Archives while she sorts, categorizes, and organizes things. Solari is almost never on the receiving end of one of their meltdowns, especially since she was the one to be there for them the most after Nebula was gone. They still do get into fights, they are siblings of course, but they are not even remotely on the same level as one of them fighting with Penumbra or Crescent. Satellite has shared their worries about Crescent and Penumbra so easily discarding Cosmos, and how they worry how easily they would get rid of them or her. Solari understands them and they agree quite frequently on things, though their jobs typically keep them far apart.

Satellite did like Cosmos. They have extreme difficulty expressing how they feel and clearly communicating their needs in social situations which very often resulted in Cosmos, being a child and thus even more oblivious to social etiquette than Solari with none of the lifelong bonding Satellite has with her to guide Cosmos through their interactions, getting on their nerves severely. It was about a 50/50 chance for Satellite to be in a relatively good mood to speak with Cosmos, enjoying them chatting about assorted things, especially when they got to lie and teach them the wrong things about space or magic which resulted in Penumbra giving them the stink eye when Cosmos finally got around to asking her about whether black holes get sick and throw up when too much stuff goes in them at once. Satellite did not like yelling at any of their siblings but they also don’t know how else to act when overwhelmed because it’s not like any of them have had the same issues as them. Now that Cosmos is gone, Satellite is very upset at how they treated him. Satellite feels like they should have realized that they were distant and cold, and Solari was distant and cold, and Penumbra was detached, and Crescent was nearly always busy, and they wonder if he felt the way they do, about being so very alone with almost no one to talk to about how they really feel.

Solari:

Solari loved Nebula quite a bit, though they could tell Satellite was always more excited to spend time with xem than her, but they didn’t let that get her down. Seeing their parent taken from them, and how badly it hurt Satellite made them resent Nebula after the fact.

Solari hates Penumbra. Mainly because she was smart enough to, just like Crescent, realize that if she relinquished some control over Cosmos when they were a baby to Crescent, she would have been more present for Satellite, like they desperately needed her to be. As they got older her resentment manifested in cold hostility for all the members of the family that they felt were failing her twin. Penumbra isolates them, Crescent is annoyed he can’t just puppet them to do what she wants, and Cosmos got all the attention. Penumbra’s obvious disdain for Solari just fuels her own disdain for her right back. They frequently get into fights. Solari was HORRIFIED by Penumbra’s suggestion that they leave the Collector’s mirror disk, all that remained of him, on the Titan Planet because what amounted to the corpse (though not dead) of their sibling could be used as a signal to them for when the final titan frees them or is killed so they can finish the job they started and finally destroy the planet.

Solari despises Crescent. The way he is able to so easily turn events in her favor when there is a disagreement, the fact that he is given so much freedom from Penumbra compared to herself or Satellite, the way that Crescent avoids Satellite simply because she does not care to be genuine in conversations with them. Not to mention when instead of arguing that since they had Titan’s blood and the disk, they should release Cosmos immediately, he agreed to Penumbra’s plan and contributed. It deeply disgusted Solari, especially since her and Satellite agreed that Crescent and Cosmos were closer with each other than any of the rest of them were with either. She loves to get under his skin by challenging her authority, even though she knows they will always lose in a hand-to-hand fight, she does it anyway because they can tell it makes him angry to see her self-assured superiority challenged.

Satellite is the only person Solari is really close with, both of them speaking to each other about their concerns regarding their older siblings when they have the chance to. Solari knows Satellite the best out of any of their siblings, which is why her sarcasm and teasing is always intentional and never mean spirited with them. Solari was the one to comfort Satellite the most about Nebula, which shocked and upset her, because they could not understand why neither of the older siblings could tell or seemed to care about how much they were hurting. Together they realized they had been terrible to Cosmos through no fault of his own and they both deeply regret how they treated them. They’ve spoken before about a complete pipe dream they’ve had, where if Cosmos is ever able to return to them, they’d all run away together to keep their older siblings from continuing to use and neglect him.

Solari has a lot of regrets about Cosmos. She wishes she could have realized that they never did anything wrong, or hurt them (Solari and Satellite) intentionally. They know now that he deserved much better than what he got, this regret typically manifests in her being even more upset at Penumbra and Crescent, how DARE they care more about practicality and their “carefully laid plans” and stupid PROTOCOL than their own brother. Whenever she thinks about her, and Satellite’s own treatment of them, she becomes repulsed with herself. She tries to avoid thinking about it, because it only comes up in her mind when she’s alone sorting the Archives and cataloging new entries, a task they do so effortlessly that the guilt and “what ifs” end up consuming her until she realizes she’s stopped her work entirely and is standing entirely too still with her non-existent stomach turning and her eyes burning, but never fully crying.

The Collector/Cosmos:

Cosmos doesn’t know how to feel about Nebula. On one hand, xey never would have been taken from him and his siblings if xey had simply done what xey were supposed to do, but on the other hand, now that Cosmos is separated from their own siblings, and the culture of other Collectors, he wonders if Nebula would have been proud of them for disagreeing with what he was raised to believe, and managing to escape from the grip it had on them. They’ve heard stories from their older siblings. Penumbra’s stories about xem were typically meant to impress upon him some lesson or to pass on a story that was originally told to Penumbra, as part of the lessons she would teach him, though she avoided speaking about xem in any other context. Crescent’s stories would usually come back to how what xey did was wrong, and how xey put xeir morality above what was actually legal and accepted practice. Satellite loved speaking about Nebula, it was one of the seemingly only guaranteed ways to cheer them up, unless the story was specifically the day xey were arrested, that one was a guaranteed way to make them more upset than anything else he could think of. Solari’s stories were tinged with bitter resentment, though she had good stories about xeir kindness, they would always finish their story with “but xey still choose to break the law and abandon us”. It was all giving mixed messages.

Cosmos had thought that Penumbra was one of their nicest siblings. He loved spending time with her, he enjoyed their lessons, he tried to ignore the slithering feeling of pain he got in his chest whenever he could tell she was annoyed with them. Every time she tiredly redirected them to play with Satellite, Solari, or Crescent when he was there, he pushed down the feeling of agonizing pain in his stomach. He knew Penumbra still loved them, she still was so happy to play with him when she wasn’t busy, to teach him lessons, or read important books to them. That’s what he thought at least. Since they’ve been freed from their prison, he’s had time to reflect on what happened. Even though Satellite was the one that told them about how he was allowed to go play with the Titans, Cosmos knew it was Penumbra who came up with the plan, it was literally her job to direct the rest of them and their missions. She was either the one that came up with the plan to kill all the Titans or at the very least approved of the plan that was otherwise definitely Crescent’s idea. She didn’t bother taking him off the planet after they started. She left them there.

Cosmos loved Crescent very much, the only sibling that never gave them a disappointed look, that never dismissed him, that enjoyed playing games with him, and never yelled at or scared them. Which makes them even more devastated, knowing that she was the one that had all their friends killed. Every baby Titan he befriended died, very likely because of Crescent, either indirectly by the Titan Trappers, or directly by her own hands. It’s very hard for them to hate anyone, but they’ve decided they should hate him. For being so nice, and so kind, only to hurt them in such a hideous way, he knows she, Penumbra, and the twins all were definitely watching him on the planet. They absolutely knew that Papa Titan blamed Cosmos for the missing and dead Titans. They still did nothing to stop him. Eventually he figures out that they all had to have found his disk, and had access to Titan’s blood, and chose not to free him on purpose. The more Cosmos thinks about him, the more upset they get.

Cosmos never had a very good relationship with Satellite. It was confusing, how they seemed to be fine one moment and angry at them the next. It made them feel cautious when Penumbra sent him to play with them, but they were always happy when Satellite was in a good mood to play or talk. They could never tell when they were lying to him about things, but it was always funny when they did because it was never mean or about important things. Cosmos knew Satellite (and Solari) did not get along with Penumbra or Crescent as much as they did, so it makes them wonder if Satellite argued against leaving them on the Titan Planet when they came up with the plan to kill all the Titans, if for no other reason than to just be contrarian to the elder siblings. Cosmos knows that no matter which of their siblings suggested they leave him behind in his disk, it would have to have been approved by the elder two, so ultimately they do not blame the twins for leaving them behind, at least not nearly as much as he blames the others.

Cosmos was even more cautious about Solari than Satellite, being the scariest of their siblings. She could be so mean and they didn’t understand why. When they seemed to be in a good mood she would have him do little tasks for her, going into the Archives to retrieve things for them, which, in hindsight, they now realize she likely could have just magically summoned. But it kept him occupied and taught him about how the Archives were cataloged. She would teach them about each of the creatures and objects that he collected for them. When she was in a bad mood and felt like scaring him was the worst. Sometimes she got so angry that she destroyed things, nothing from the Archive of course, Penumbra would be furious if they did that. But she would smash walls and floors and doors. Sometimes when she broke things, the exploding pieces would hit him. It never really hurt, but she would always immediately apologize and heal them, even if there was never really any damage. Sometimes she would play games with him, her most favorite being the one where they would pick him up with magic and throw them as far into open space as she could, which was mostly fun, though sometimes scary when he was thrown way too far or hit something. It didn’t happen often and he figured a way around both of these issues by counting in their head to a preset number where he would magically stop their flight if he was still going when they reached the number, and they would also use their flight to alter their path to avoid objects. Now that they’re away they wonder if any of their siblings actually loved him.

#the owl house #owl house #toh #toh the archivists #toh the collector #the collector #the archivists #the grand huntsman #toh headcanon #abuse #manipulation #murder #implied child death #toxic family dynamics #child neglect #abandonment #ask to tag #toh spoilers

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melissanovels · 4 years ago

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♡ Here they are!! Chapters 1 & 2 of TRANSIENT TIME TRAVELLER are out! ♡

○ Read on my Website ○ Read on Tumblr (below) ○ Read on Ao3 ○

TTT is an LGBTQ+ historical fantasy novel about Aida, a time traveller hellbent on proving the innocence of a 1,200-year-old dead queen, and Lorian, an escaped princess-turned-officer who wants to drain the royal blood from their body, & the two coming together with the help of their mischievous future selves.

♡ Reblogs are appreciated! ♡

Read Chapter 1 + 2 Below:

Chapter 1: Six Weeks Before

Aida’s life was forever changed when she received a letter in the mail.

She never got letters. Being adopted into a small family in a smaller farm in Bělico didn’t bless her with birthday gifts or congratulatory mail. She estimated that no one other than her stepmother and her stepsisters knew of her existence, so Aida ghosted through life without much interference.

But she knew this letter, had been anticipating it for weeks since she’d sent in her application under her mother’s nose. It was handwritten on high-quality paper, the feeling new to her, foreign, and was branded with the seal of the Roman lion. She’d dreamt of getting these royal letters in the mail, wishful hope turning into dread come nighttime, but she hadn’t thought she'd receive a reply, let alone a letter of acceptance.

She’d been tending to the farm, or the cows, mainly. The chickens, pigs, sheep, and goats had been taken care of and her stepmother and stepsisters had their two horses out on a carriage ride to the village, so all that was left to handle was their five highland cows. Big, burly creatures more fur than hide. It took Aida more time to heave the heavy bales of hay into their stables, to groom them, wash them, clean out their troughs. She’d hadn’t even heard the post carrier arrive, she’d been on the other side of the property. When she realized her family would be home soon, she hurried to get everything done so her stepmother would be in a better mood. Well, a less shit one.

There was one piece of mail that day, and it’d been addressed to Aida.

When her mother and sister finally came home and found Aida on the floor, frantically rereading the letter with the envelope torn with her teeth, they must’ve assumed she’d had jumped and was writhing in pain as a result.

She was writhing, but not because she’d travelled backwards in time. Her brain was spinning, eyes watering due to some type of emotion she couldn’t name. After fighting for years, she’d finally earned this damned six-year scholarship to Durante Academy.

Not that wanting to dorm at a school named after King Durante’s lineage was something she was excited about. She detested almost everything the royal family did, and she didn’t even live in Roma. Roma, or Roma City, was 1,500 kilometers away, across the sea and doing far better for itself than her home country of snow-covered farmlands. She should’ve loathed becoming a student in the country with the bloodiest warpath, the worst, most prejudiced ruler, and the shittiest armed forces since the time of gladiators.

But how she’d dreamed of walking through those academic halls, taking in the prestigious lessons in fervor and staying up late to perfect a soon-to-be perfectly marked test. Schools in Bělico, you were expected to drop out of after primary school to work your family’s farms. It made sense for some people. Agriculture was the biggest export for the country, so families expected many hands to tend to the fields.

But that wasn’t Aida’s path. Ever since she’d been adopted, Aida Mirko had set her sights on becoming a historian, and that path was only attainable in the sparkling, problematic country of Roma.

It was only after Aida heard her mother slam the door did she realize her mistake: being indulgent.

“What’re y’all doing?” one of her stepsisters, Ekaterina, asked.

“You tracked in mud,” her other sister, Olga, said. She had her upper lip curled as she looked over where Aida had run in from the fields.

Her mother looked over the mess Aida had made, then at the letter still in her hand.

Then she slapped her across the cheek and sent her glasses across the living room.

She should’ve expected it. How dare her. Here she was, trying to better herself in a world where most people wanted her kind dead, and she’d just been accepted into one of the world’s most prestigious academies known in Roma. It had only a seven percent acceptance rate. To any parent, that would’ve been cause for celebration.

Her mother grabbed Aida by the collar and dragged her upstairs to her room. Her mother and sisters lived downstairs near the warm fireplaces, while Aida had the joy of taking the stairs she struggled with and lived in the cold attic at the top of the steps. She had a fucking cane and a limp, and these people couldn’t care less.

“Mo’mma, wait—”

Her mother slammed the bedroom door behind her. “How dare you?”

Aida fell backwards into her bed.

“You ain’t going,” she decided. “You have obligations here. You work the farm, you care for us. How selfish can you be, leaving all of that to become a damned academic?”

“I want…to be a historian,” Aida said, trying so hard to carefully explain something she’d wanted for years. With her limp, it was difficult to do any sort of manual labor. She got tired easily, her dizzy spells were becoming more frequent. Her sisters, they weren’t expected to do half the chores she was forced to do, yet she did them. She hated herself, but she did as she was told because it gave her a roof over her head and food on the table and a bed to dream about a life better than this. In the rare hours she had for sleep, she studied and overworked her abilities to prove that a Visatorre deserved to learn, something that’d been barred from her people for centuries.

She didn’t expect praise, or admiration. She couldn’t dream like that. All she wished was for her mother to stop hitting her. She didn’t know why she was selfish asking that.

Her mother stood tall over her. “You ain’t going.”

Aida fixed her broken glasses over her nose. “I was accepted.”

“I ain’t paying for it.”

“I know that.”

“What do you mean ‘I know that’? You won’t be able to afford it. The journey ’cross the sea alone is ten gold.”

To her mother, it’d seem that way, but Aida had been saving up. For years, she’d been putting away her childhood allowance underneath the broken floorboard next to her bed. After turning fifteen, her mother had stopped paying her for her work. Aida had thought it was because her mother had finally seen her as a daughter more than a servant. Then she found out Ekaterina’s and Olga’s allowance had doubled.

So, she’d taken to writing school papers for the local village kids. Those who were able to write had trouble forming their thoughts in persuasive essays, so Aida wrote them top-grade papers about history, war, massacres of her own people and the rise of these dictatorships she hated, all behind her mother’s back. If her mother had found that out, she would’ve thrown Aida into the village stockades for lying because “Visatorre folk weren’t smart like normal folk.”

“I have the money,” Aida summarized.

“I don’t care if you got a fortune! Y’all ain’t gonna throw away your life and waste it on an academy when you’re needed here.”

“I’ll be gone, isn’t that what you’d want?” she shot back, the fear of speaking back pitching her voice. “I’ll be gone for six whole years, and I swear, whatever money I make—”

“‘Money I make’, she says. What money you gonna make there? You know Roma don’t take well to you folk as well as Bělico people do. You’ll be ridiculed. You’ll be ostracized.”

“So how different would it be from here?” Aida wanted to ask. Circa, how she wished she was brave enough to say that. If she’d been high, that defiance would’ve come out, but it would’ve only resulted in her being hit harder.

Aida lowered her head, feigning a defeat.

Her mother harrumphed and tied up her brown hair in a messy bun. “That’s what I thought. Now.” She held out her hand. Aida flinched. “Give me that letter.”

“No,” Aida said. “Please, just…let me keep it. For memory’s sake.”

Her mother rolled her eyes and wiped her hands on her apron. “Get up and help with the groceries, since you didn’t want to help when we came in. The rest are in the carriage.”

Aida nodded and went for her cane. It was a dark, simple thing made from a tree branch in the woods around them.

Her mother kicked it and knocked it into the wall. The force made it tip and spill Aida’s half-filled drinking glass to the ground.

Aida froze.

“Realize your stance in this house,” her mother warned, “and stop making such foolish decisions behind my back.”

“I will,” Aida said, and waited for her mother to leave down the stairs, where she heard her sisters whispering about what their mother had just told their servant daughter.

She gripped her cane as tightly as she could. The one thing about being in your twenties was that, while you might’ve been afraid of your parents and they’d wrecked your self-confidence and self-worth beyond recognition for more than a decade, if you had the money and the drive to defy the Gods, you could change your future for the better.

After hearing her mother leave, Aida went for her travel bags.

---------------------------

Nights at the Mirko household came early, as they—she—had to get up at four in the morning to take care of the livestock. Feed them, gather the eggs, change the hay, sweep out both barns, weed out the gardens. Aida half-expected her mother to put more energy into their own livelihood instead of working on how to destroy her own daughter’s confidence, but she couldn’t expect much of anything from them anymore.

Aida knew she was smart. She wouldn’t have gotten her scholarship if she hadn’t been. All the years of extra-credit and letter after letter of recommendations had paid off. It didn’t matter what her mother thought of her. She would reclaim her dignity without her.

The night she received her letter, Aida woke up at three and began packing. It’d taken a chunk of her savings to leave now, as she’d planned to leave later towards the school year where travel costs decreased, but she’d manage. She always did. She currently had seventy pieces of gold lyria to her name. It wasn’t much—it barely covered a month’s worth of groceries for her family—but if she used it right, it’d get her a life without them in it.

Because, in all her twenty-three years of living, she knew that “family” could go fuck themselves with how much good they did for her.

She dressed in a black dress fit for the night and braided her hair in her favorite way, down her front in two braids that never seemed even. She was bigger than most girls: both of her sisters’ weights combined. She hoped the school uniforms could accommodate her, and that they weren’t tacky. She needed a self-esteem boost, not a downgrade from what clothes she’d been given.

After packing her non-essentials, she got to work packing the more important items: her journals, thick with cut-outs and pictures from used books she’d pasted into it; her history texts on the once luxurious country of Siina and its murdered queen; the first book in the En Tempore Rose sextet, Pinnacle Isle; and the signed playbooks from the opera-ballet adaptation she’d bartered for in exchange for an eight-page essay.

She’d gone to see the opera once, and by “seen,” she meant she’d snuck away into the theatre for ten minutes during a family trip to Roma City when she was six. It’d been during a trading festival where they earned their summer wealth. She’d snuck into the massive theater constructed within the colosseum and caught the last few minutes of the performance before being discovered.

She’d been beaten so hard that she didn’t remember much of the opera, but she remembered loving it. Those few minutes near the stage that made her heart stop and restart with the love of her favorite stories, both real and imaginary. The ballerinas dressed in snow-white lace, the glitter that danced from the rafters. It’d sparked her desire to be a ballerina before she found out that Visatorre were neither allowed to be performers on the stage nor were they allowed to even watch a costly opera to begin with. They were a “risk” to those around them if they travelled backwards into time.

At least she had her journals. She had a dozen or so hand-bound journals she’d made herself because God knew her mother wouldn’t have bought them for her. They detailed her favorite moments in history. Nothing of wars or tyrannical, egotistical kings she couldn’t stand learning about. She was interested in the people, the interpersonal relationships between the royal families and their citizens. Their dresses, the food they ate, the ways they lived their menial lives a millennia ago.

And Eve, a magnificent, tolerant queen to a dead city-state that once held 100,000 Visatorre within its peaceful walls. Aida loved her, knew everything about her life from the minute she was born to the day she was executed. Her city-state, Siina, had once been a well-established community within Roma that could’ve rivaled the country in time.

History said Eve had murdered the Roman king’s wife, so in retaliation, he’d killed her, her lineage, and all 100,000 Visatorre of Siina, burying them within the Catacombs underneath Roma City.

Aida knew for a fact that that part of history was wrong. She’d written papers and thesis on Eve for years, and she couldn’t see the dead queen dipping so far as to murder someone she should’ve seen as an ally. She’d been a young, proud, dedicated Visatorre that housed and raised and loved the biggest population of Visatorre the world had ever seen. Yes, she was rash with some of her decision-making, and she might’ve been labeled “eccentric” in today’s terms, but to murder someone so powerful for no reason, it didn’t add up. It didn’t make sense.

So, Aida was bent on becoming a historian, to rewrite the history books with the truth rather than the propagated schlock crammed down their throats.

After zipping up her final bag, she readied her three-kilometer-long walk to the village. It was mostly leveled terrain, but still, it always burdened her legs. One bad jump six years ago had fucked up her hips, or her back, or her spine, or all three, given her exceptionally bad luck. No doctor had a concrete reason as to why Visatorre were injured when they jumped into the past, they only knew the farther back you went, the worse you came back. Some Visatorre who’d jump 100, 200 years back would come back burning from the inside or with missing limbs, screaming in pain until they needed to take something to their skull to mask the pain. Aida, with all that was stacked up against her, always considered herself lucky that she only needed a cane to get around.

She closed the garden gates slowly, taking the back entrance so she didn’t wake the easily spooked ducks. No more farmlands, no more chores done by six and being hit behind closed doors. Despite years of fucking up, making her think she was useless, too slow, too stupid to be anything more than a servant in her own home, Aida was to mentally burn this place to the ground with her accomplishments.

Or physically, if she became so bold and dire for actual jail time.

She paused at the start of the cow field, eyes darting left and right. While she wouldn’t burn down the farm—she couldn’t hurt the animals—she could do something else. Something more.

She crept into the chicken coop and burgled twenty-four of the largest eggs, enough to keep her fed for a few days, and another six for the carriage. Not hers, but her mother’s, or the one she’d already promised for Olga when she eventually married. Keeping her movements quiet, Aida smashed her extra eggs into the seats and dug the yolk deep into the hides. Then she took charcoal she always kept in her dress pockets and ruined one side of the barn in graffiti. She dumped the milk she’d gotten for that day, she let the chickens loose from the coop. Dumped the drinking water over the hay, overturned the trough. Everything she could do to make her family’s life horrible, but not enough to send an officer after her.

If they connected it to a Visatorre’s doing, she might’ve had one on her tail. Luckily, she wasn’t planning on ever coming back.

She paced herself as she made her way into the village. Idti, a racist outcropping of 500 farmers who’d sell their own daughters for a lick of gold. She kept a knife in her pocket when walking down the dirt roads, waiting to hear someone run up behind her and rob her. Luckily, the carriage house she was planning on using was close to the main road. Beyond the village stretched out a long path to the sea. She could almost smell the cold, salty air.

One driver was smoking near his carriage and reading the paper with his boots kicked up. As Aida neared with lantern and cane in hand, he gave her a look. He made no attempt to hide his ogling at her Visatorre marking: a white circle engraved in the middle of her forehead. Every Visatorre obtained one the first time they travelled, but that didn’t stop non-Visatorre from staring like she had three legs.

“I need a ride to the harbor,” Aida said, keeping her face devoid of emotion.

“Now?” the driver asked.

“Not yesterday,” she said, and gave him three of her gold lyria coins. “The quicker, the better.”

At the sight of priceless gold, the driver instantly folded his paper and sat up. “You’re the Visatorre girl who works up at that farm, ain’t you?”

“Aye.” She took out one of her own cigarettes and had him light it for her. She needed one after this week, and her mother hated the smell in the house. “Let’s say I got fired.”

“Didn’t you live there?”

“Didn’t you need to bring me to the harbor?”

The man clicked his tongue and helped her with her bags.

She took one long inhale as she surveyed the land. The morning birds had yet to begin their songs, and the lack of light let the Moon and stars shine over the country, painting it a deep blue.

“Did you hear the news?” the driver asked, making unneeded small talk. “The princess of Roma, Lucia, she just went missing. Paper’s sayin’ she vanished from her own wedding. Say she got kidnapped or something.”

“Wouldn’t be a change from what we see,” Aida said. While the royal family now was in charge of what she did, she didn’t care for them nearly as much as she cared for the dead ones. The dead ones had more of a history to them that always intrigued her. Plus, she never saw the two twin princesses. One had been married off to the shitstain of Bělico’s King Dmitri as a kid, the other barely left the palace. What was the difference if she went missing?

“Do you think they’ll find her?” asked the driver.

In the distance, Aida saw the faint outline of her home. Her mother’s home—it had never belonged to her. Her mother had tried to be a good mother when she’d first adopted Aida, but the years had tainted her into a villain Aida couldn’t wait to see get their comeuppance.

She gave her home the finger and hopped into the carriage. “Who cares about some dumb princess?”

----------------------------------

Chapter 2: Six Weeks Before, Continued

Lorian had dreamed about escaping her bedroom through the window. She never thought it would be her last-ditch effort to save her life.

She wasn’t in life-threatening danger. She wasn’t going to die if she stayed the night. Acted proper. Went back downstairs and apologized to her wedding guests, and let Prince Zaahir take her hand like she’d been proclaimed to do since she was six.

That wouldn’t kill her per se, but if it came to that, she’d kill herself. No remorse, no second thoughts. She’d warned her parents that if they followed through with the marriage, it would’ve been the final straw out of the many that they’d already broken for her.

Well, her father had. Everyone knew that despite being the reigning queen, it was Lorian’s father who controlled the country.

That night, after tearing up the wedding dress and ruining every last piece of notable art she had left in her bedroom, Lorian had collapsed into her bed and sobbed so hard, she’d thrown up. Out of everything her parents forced her through, this marriage was the one constant. Let her ruin her dresses, let her throw her infamous temper tantrums hidden from the country. But this marriage, just like her sister’s, would happen. Alliances needed to be formed between the three major countries of the world to keep war at bay, and it’d happen whether she liked it or not. Country before individual. Alliances before children.

The only way out was death.

She’d contemplated it, then kicked herself and fought for another way out. She couldn’t end it here. She had to show her parents that she did have aspirations, just ones outside of royal duties.

The giant clock just outside of Lorian’s room chimed for eleven. Per Roman customs, the wedding kiss would occur at the stroke of midnight, and so far, Lorian hadn’t let any of her maids or officers near her. Not even her own family had come into her room, though they’d tried.

First, her mother, whose frail knocks almost made her heart break. Then her twin sister, Beatrice, born only twelve minutes earlier and thus married off first to a man older than their father. Her methodical, emotionless explanation as to why this needed to marry Zaahir made Lorian break a vase to get her to stop talking.

Carmine was the last person to come. He was the queen’s right-hand man—a Constable, the highest rank given to officers—and childhood friend of the queen. He was the most sympathetic about Lorian’s plight, she’d give him that, but he, like the rest of them, told her to come downstairs and finish what was destined for her. He used to be better, back when he was more a family friend who wasn’t weighed down my medals of honor, but those days were gone, as was Carmine’s carefree nature. It’d been replaced with duties that outweighed Lorian’s happiness.

Her father didn’t come up to check on her.

But she didn’t need any more of his anger tonight. Nobody could talk her into this. She had her mind set, and it was anywhere else but this godforsaken palace.

The only one she’d let come near was Missus Sharma. She’d been Lorian’s and Beatrice’s nursemaid since they were in the womb. She’d taught Lorian mathematics, both the piano and violin, and had guided Lorian through speech therapy to get rid of her lisp yet failed. She also knew almost all of Lorian’s secrets, all of her hidden passions without the threads of marriage and princesshood dragging her down.

Lorian had told her, last year, that she didn’t want to be a princess any longer.

“I know your frustrations, Your Highness,” she’d said, this sixty-year-old maid who deserved so much more than what Lorian gave her.

She didn’t know, however, so when Lorian explained more, that she didn’t want to be a princess, or Lucia, or only a woman but something more, something different, that’d puzzled her. Her generation still lived in the mindset that’d fizzled out during this ruling—people could be who they wanted to be, whether they were a boy, girl, neither, or something in-between.

Those rights weren’t given to royal heirs, especially when it involved the procreation of royal children.

Lorian held her stomach as she thought of a way out of this. Even though she was still figuring out her identity, she was sure as fuck not marrying Zaahir for the sole purpose of bearing children. That thought was so far out of her comfort zone, it was off her radar.

Frustrated by her dwindling time limit, Lorian groaned, took the last of her pillows she hadn’t torn, and threw it against her writing desk. It scattered the letters she’d tried to write to her parents only for her to rip them up because, while his mother might hear her out, her father wouldn’t listen. He never did.

A letter fell to her ornate rug. It was hidden behind one of her jewelry boxes and slipped out when the box fell. It didn’t have a name on it, but it’d been stamped with her family’s seal.

Curious, Lorian picked it up.

Out the window & down to the forest.

Good luck.

She flipped over the note to read the rest, but that was it. It wasn’t even signed, meaning the person didn’t want to be traced back. She examined the handwriting, but that didn’t click either. It looked like the person, whoever had written it, had concealed their own personhood to make the letter untraceable.

She looked back at her door. It was locked, as well as barricaded with her wardrobe. Nobody was coming in any time soon.

She crept towards the window that faced the outer walls. In the past, they were meant to keep enemies out, like the fallen city-state of Siina. It’d once been a wealthy state where most of the Visatorre population lived some 1,200 years back. Tensions back then had been high, she was taught. Visatorre were seen as part-God, part-monster, these people who could travel, or “jump,” back in time for hours to witness a single moment in history. Stories had been created around them, painting them as the voyeuristic, nosy ghosts that deserved all the pain their jumps caused them.

Her father despised time travellers for their unpredictable powers, but he never brought it up to the public. They were a reminder of a bloody history most Romans wanted to forget, but Lorian hadn’t forgotten. She knew that the queen of Siina had murdered the Roman king due to some type of disagreement, and as punishment, she, her lineage, and all 100,000 Siinans had been brutally slaughtered in an unfair and unjust bloodbath.

Lorian grit her teeth. She hated it. She’d hated it ever since it was taught to her by her scholars and meant to sound like a victory. It wasn’t. It was the royal family’s insatiable bloodlust, and it was all the more reason why she wanted nothing more to do with the crown trying to be placed over her head.

The orchestra music from her own wedding ceremony echoed from outside. Six hundred people had been invited and were likely all dining and eating and placing bets as to whether or not Lorian would come down by midnight.

So it was odd that out of all of these guests and bustling maids and officers in the palace tonight, nobody saw Lorian’s horse, Ether, nibbling on the flowers next to the palace walls. She was bridled and had on her saddle, but it wasn’t the official, royally-sanctioned one with all the gold and rubies stitched into it, it was Lorian’s personal riding one that was worn and made of coarse leather.

And attached to Lorian’s windowsill, weighted down so as not to blow in the summer night air, was a silk bedsheet tied into other bedsheets: a less than perfect escape ladder.

Lorian pressed her lips together. Who’d set this up for her? She’d dreamed of this day for years, and it only became more real that week.

She touched the start of the makeshift ladder. It’d been tied several times behind her window and secured behind the jewelry box. Not even Missus’ Sharma would’ve seen anything awry.

Lorian turned so quickly on her heel, she tripped on the rug given to her by her mother’s mother. She pulled out the drawers of her second wardrobe not currently holding back the only door to the room and packed what she considered to be her real clothes. No dresses, nothing that was too uncomfortable to wear. She did pack her corsets to bind her chest and hide her hips. She didn’t hate her body; her boobs were fun to play with when she was in the bath or getting ready for bed. They just meant too much to her past self, and she didn’t want to remember that.

She would no longer be Lucia Maria Carolus Durante di Romano, future princess to the country of Roma and Aldaí.

She would be Lorian. Lorian…

Something. If she was going to run away, she’d have to change her surname, but she’d only landed on “Lorian” when she was a child, a nonsense name that meshed her name with Carmine’s father’s name. That was back when she respected him.

Despite living here all her life, she had nothing of real importance. Clothing she felt comfortable in, 350 pieces of gold lyria she kept in case she ever decided to really run away, utensils—she ate quite a lot in her room. She grabbed documents with her father’s and Carmine’s signatures in case she needed to forge them for her new life, and she kept her signet ring and skeleton key because she was sentimental like that. She had her dagger because her rapiers would be too long and too distracting on the run. She wouldn’t need a map because she knew the whole layout of the kingdom by heart. As for her underwear…

She looked at the dagger in her hand, then at herself in the mirror. The blond hair she’d tied up in a ponytail to get it out of her face still curled to the middle of her back. She liked her hair; it was a staple for Roman women to keep it long. Her mother’s must’ve been worth something for how beautiful it was, reaching her thighs in elegant waves, and her sister’s must’ve taken hours to prepare every day with all the braids and swoops she kept it in.

Lorian gripped the handle of her blade. She didn’t think it over because she knew she’d regret it. Nobody in the kingdom could know she was Lucia. If she were to live as Lorian, Lucia needed to die.

Her locks fell around her in spirals. Her head instantly felt lighter than it had in years, but she knew it didn’t look right. One part was uneven, the next cut too close to her scalp. She didn’t touch her bangs, as Missus Sharma had just styled them the day before, and when she was done, she didn’t look back in the mirror. She retied it into a small ponytail. Her neck felt cold yet free, another chain broken.

Someone knocked on her door.

She nestled her knife against her thigh.

“Your Highness, are you alright?”

The voice, so sweet and motherly, Lorian knew it better than her own mother’s.

“Yes, Missus Sharma,” she called out, and slowly opened her window all the way. Her curtains fluttered. It kissed her cheeks, her newly uncovered neck.

“I don’t want you to feel alone right now. I know this’s terrifying for you, and unfair. Oh, sweetheart, I know. Can you talk to me? Have you eaten?”

Lorian lifted one leg over the windowsill. She’d once climbed out of this window as a child to the giant clock tower above. When they’d found her, her father had slashed her palms. It seemed so much easier as a thirteen-year-old. “I have, and I’m alright now.” She dared a peek down the four stories and closed her eyes. It wasn’t high up. It wasn’t that high. “I’ll be okay.”

“Do you need anything from me right now?”

She swung the rest of her body out of the window. Vertigo hit her like a crashing wave. She wrapped both arms around the blanket and gave a firm tug. “No. You’ve done enough for me this week, and I do appreciate all that you’ve done.” She put more of her weight on the bedsheet ladder, then more. “G-go tell my mother and father that…I’m contemplating coming down soon.”

“Oh, you are?” Missus Sharma asked. “How wonderful! Let me bring them up.”

“I-I’ll just need a minute,” she called out, hoping her voice wouldn’t travel. “Do give me that, okay, Missus Sharma?”

“Of course, Your Highness. Oh, their Majesties will be so thrilled.”

“I’ll bet,” Lorian muttered under her breath, and looked down. What was four stories, really, other than a two-second drop to your crushing, painful death?

She bit her lower lip, said a prayer to any God that would hear her, and let gravity take her down.

Her boot snagged on a jutting brick and, while it might’ve been a two-second controlled fall, it felt longer. She anticipated hitting the ground but didn’t expect to feel the dizziness that accompanied her once she hit the earth. Her feet gave out from underneath her and she rolled over like a turtle. Ether looked down at her, chuffing.

Lorian stayed on the ground, fingers curling into the cold grass. She counted the eerie seconds of silence. Someone always noticed when she acted out. She’d be caught, subdued, reformed into what her father wanted.

Nobody came. Missus Sharma didn’t run to her bedroom window and call out for her. No patrolling officer asked what she was doing.

She breathed in a gulp of fresh air, then slowly lifted herself up with her horse. She pulled on her reins and waited. She climbed onto Ether’s back and waited.

Nobody was coming.

Nobody knew she was here.

Lucia had been killed, and Lorian had taken her first step.

She blinked back the tears. She didn’t know what had brought them on. Her cutting her hair, her knowing that this one decision might strip her away from everyone she loved for months, years. If this worked, if she really pulled everything off, she might never see them again. Beatrice, Carmine, her mother, Missus Sharma, the maids and officers who treated her far better than she deserved, her father…

She violently turned her head away and broke Ether into a gallop. She tore through the gardens, through the first gate. A lone officer on duty hadn’t been expecting anyone to pass through here and certainly wasn’t prepared to stop a galloping mare running past him. He also probably hadn’t been expecting Lorian to be crying.

She knew she hadn’t. Isn’t this what she’d wanted? To be free from a marriage to a man she’d met three, possibly four times in her life? To be free from her father’s expectations of being a subservient princess and to finally do what she wanted to do?

She ran her horse as fast as she could into the Roman night. Tonight, she was Lorian. And tonight, she was unshackled.

#Transient Time Traveller #art #original character #lgbtq #cottagecore #queer #aida #lorian #original art #oc #novel #writing #ttt #royal road #ao3 #archive of our own

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stimuliandthelike · 5 years ago

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much ado about nothing (2011)

or i guess in other words, the one with tennant and tate. this is for future reference but also for u @jules1144.

a shakespeare play set up like Mamma Mia with a low budget... i am in love

apparently the way to make me fall in love with you is by being beatrice

our first impression of beatrice is witty-wine-aunt and our first impression of benedick is crazy-area-man-makes-dramatic-entrance-in-a-poorly-decorated-golf-cart and i think thats very cash money of them

“my deeeaarrR Lady Disdain... *high pitched voice* are yoU YET LIVING?” he looks so SMUG and she looks so UNBOTHERED this is such a PERFECT PORTRAYAL OF THEIR CHARACTERS

beatrice: i had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he LOoOooOOVes mE

benedick: :DDDDD

(oh u poor unaware souls)

theyre having so much FUN insulting each other i fucking love them so MUCH 7th grade me did not appreciate the absolute GOLD MINE this play was

don john: im not of many words- benedick: and yet he never shuts the fuck up!!!!!!

claudio: no i pray thee speak in sober judgement benedick: ....why...?

benedick is me everytime one of my friends talk to me about someone theyre falling for. just: “i noTeD HeR nOT BuT i LoOKeD At HEr”. tbt when i thought i was ace

bro... bro let me... get real close to your face bro.... let me be centimeters away from your neck and talk about my evil plans bro... bro... i cannot hide what i am bro... whats that bro?... im gay bro...

BEATRICE IN A SUIT!!!!! BEATRICE IN A SUIT!!! HOLY MOTHER OF GOD BEATRICE IN A SUIT!!!!! look i had so much respect for this woman already but it increases by the second i am in awe. if i had any doubts about being gay before they have been erased. also. the correct way to communicate with your family members is definitely 100% to swing your leg over a chair and rant about marriage and mock love when really you are scared nobody will ever love u. the sunglasses,,,,, the tie,,,, the quality

okay i know the costume design is absolutely fucking brilliant here and that david tennant dressed as a slutty peppa pig is absolutely a Topic of Interest but everytime they insult each other i gain a year in my life. google how do you cope when the love of your life tears you apart with her wit and her ability to destroy people with it.

also shes dancing AND roasting the fuck out of him. the power she has.

benedick.exe has stopped working

look. LOOK. claudio has no rights. but. BUT. the earrings and the necklace and the shirt are *chefs kiss*. yet another genius move by the costume department.

mr tennant he is moping. mr tennant u r breaking him.

therapy with Dad.

benedick: beatrice insulted me!!! she called me a JESTER :((( don pedro externally: uhh... what would give her that idea... done pedro internally: beatrice... will she be my wife? if she will not be my wife.. i will set her up with the man she claims to loathe.. ah...yes.. perfect.. i am cupid

also i knew hes a good actor but shit he portrays benedick so well. like. im in awe of ur acting sir. i’ve never laughed so much in my life while also simultaneously feeling so sad

just talking about the woman you definitely arent falling in love with with your dad friend... just talkin about how the woman you are definitely not in love with is so poisonous and horrible.... just talking about how much you despise the woman you are falling in love with...

JUST TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU DESPISE THE WOMAN YOU ARE FALLING IN LOVE WITH AS THE WOMAN YOU DEFINITELY DESPISE (NOT LOVE!!!!) CATCHES YOU IN THE ACT

side note: he yelp

therapy with Dad part 2

just talking to your dad friend about how you are definitely not in love with aforementioned man who is definitely not in love with you either. beatrice marry me

oh fuck dad friend has asked to marry me. abort abort abort abort abort..eat glass??

the best way to deal with the fact that beatrice wont marry you is to start pairing her up with the man she doesnt know she loves yet. deal with rejection by spreading love!!!! what a dude

oh how ~dramatic~ i wonder what will happen-

I DEFINITELY DIDN’T WONDER THIS WILL HAPPEN

the Vibes. the absolute vibes. a shakespeare character in shorts and a superman (thankyou @deathly-shipper) t shirt and sunglasses pining and monologuing away on the floor as he sips some beer from a funky straw... ingenious

benedick dissing claudio and talking about how much hes changed after falling in love but really its also foreshadowing how much benedick will change after he falls in love so hes dissing HIMSELF too... poetic cinema

the sheer chaoticness of this scene is so iconic where do i begin. three friends of benedick get together to try to get him with beatrice and spend the whole scene pretending they cannot see him while benedick blatantly runs around the place tripping over his feet as claudio waxes poetic about how much pain beatrice is going through because of her love... and how perfeCt poor benedick is for her.. how ingenious.. how despicable... i love them.

IS HE GOING TO DANCE

YES HE ABSOLUTELY IS

he will TWIRL

he will also CRASH INTO TRAYS OF FOOD

the piNinG

beATRICE LOVES ME??? mE??? she..loves.. ME???

beatrice: :| benedick: :DDDD

A Series of Unfortunate Events (catherine tate i am in love with you)

the fact that they shoot this like some 80s diner scene... cinematic... maybe i am gay. catherine tate playing beatrice is my gay awakening

what is even going on in this one. i have nothing but respect for all the actors involved. mayhaps when i am not afraid of tumblr crashing i will do a part 2

#im going to HOPE this was entertaining because #i loved this so much #much ado about nothing #shakespeare #david tennant #catherine tate #this is the #2011 performance

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wreckofawriter · 6 years ago

Text

Painted Books

Pairing: Young!Sirius Balck x Slytherin!reader

Word Count: 3,297 (I'm sorry I got carried away)

Warnings: Swearing, Underaged drinking, Mentions of alcohol abuse/addiction, Super long

Summary: After a prank Sirius ruins something extremely important to you, so you get pissed. While sneaking around he realizes why you were so pissed and tries to apologize

A/n: Omfg I havent been on tumblr for like a month I'm so sorry I was inactive, high school has sort of been kicking my ass. I hope this super long story makes up for it. I actually kinda like this one alot, hope you enjoy it.

Hatred filled you like air into a balloon. Your blood had been replaced by lava and it was steaming, white-hot through you. Those idiot Gryffindors were going to regret everything they have ever done in about 10 minutes you thought as you looked at your common room. Red and gold covered everything. Every couch, every chair, every table, every wall, and unfortunately for you, every book and paper on the tables. You screeched loudly.

You had simply left for 30 minutes to eat dinner before returning to your homework and now, not only was the positions essay you had almost finished been ruined but so had your charms, Defence against the dark arts and herbology essays. Along with the seven books for those classes you had bought at the begging of the year. There was no way that you would be able to clean the paint off, it was surely enchanted and now you would have to stay up all night finishing essays that would never be even half of the quality the originals were.

As the rest of the Slytherin house began to clean up the mess you had ideas of making a new one. And not of their common room but of Sirius Black's face.

You snatched your soggy papers and books off of the table and stormed out of the room. The second you saw him your anger returned like a boiling title wave. He had just ruined all of your work from the past week and now he was laughing throwing his head back as his shiny teeth flashed and his glistening black hair fell away from his precise jawline and cheekbones. You walked straight up to him and before he could even look at you, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and threw him against the wall holding him there. As you did you heard many people utter gasps of surprise and James yell something but you were defened by wrath. His eyes widened in surprise then relaxed as you saw your small frame.

“You think this is funny?” You yelled holding your paint-splattered papers and books up for him to see.

“I do find it quite amusing.” He answered with a smirk.

You screeched again, shoving your fist upward effectively throwing him back against the wall and jabbing him in the throat. You may be small but you were far from weak.

“Look if you wanted to throw me against the wall you could have just asked.” He winked, his voice coming out raspy from his throat being half closed by your hand.

“You absolute piece of shit!” you screamed, “You just ruined all of my work from this whole fucking week! I'm going to fail because of you!”

“You could just sleep with the professor again.” He sneered Your eyes widened in shock, it had been a year since the rumor of you sleeping with a teacher had ruined your social life and here was this high and mighty asshole, who had slept with half the school bringing it up again. You had had enough. You brought your knee up and as it connected with his crotch you dropped his collar and he tumbled to the ground with a scream.

“You say anything like that again I will break your nose.” You hissed down at him, throwing your ruined essays and books at him. With that, you turned on your heel and left pushing past the group of students that had gathered to watch. Before you could exit the scene a hand grabbed your wrist.

“What the hell was that for? It was just a stupid prank!” James yelled as you snatched your hand from his grasp.

“It wasn't just the prank asshole.” You growled glaring up at him.

And that was the truth it wasn't just the prank. It wasn't your homework being ruined, hell it wasn't even the fact he accused you of sleeping with a professor. All of those things were insignificant to the real problem. He had ruined your books. No, you’re not some Ravenclaw who obsessed over books, and it's not like they were signed by the author either they were simply books. But not to you. To you, they were the extra hours you worked at a stupid coffee shop. They were the late nights and early mornings you had forced yourself in to. They were the reward you got for getting stared at by men twice your age because of the stupid tiny skirt that was somehow considered as a uniform. Hell, you worked all fucking summer. Your whole summer was just dumped in paint by some pretentious brat and his even more pretentious friends.

When you reached the Slytherin common room you were close to tears and when you entered you saw the one thing that could cheer you up. Kathy. Kathy was your best friend, she was also one of your few friends, I mean you were a Slytherin half-blood, you were no Lily Evans. She was also Slytherin and was the good cop to your bad cop attitude. When she saw you she rushed you upstairs as you explained what happened.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter crept quietly (not so quietly) through the halls under the famous invisibility cloak. James stood beside them his head-boy badge shining in the light of his wand.

“Shut up Wormtail,” James scolded, “I think I hear someone.”

They all stopped and listened. With the shuffling noises silenced they could hear something. Laughter drifted through the halls. Soon muffled voices could be heard from some hidden place.

“I think they're in the kitchen,” Remus whispered.

“I hope they’re Slytherin.” James giggled as they approached the hidden door to the kitchen. James poked the bowl of fruit, hitting the apple once and the orange twice. The door swung open into the first layer of the kitchens. They shuffled in James taking the lead they were about to continue through the next doorway when Sirius heard a voice that made him jump.

“Wait!” his whispers called to his friend.

“What?” James whispered back.

“That's Y/n,” Sirius explained.

“Hell yeah this is going to be fun,” James smiled wide happy to catch you out of bed. “Finally get the bitch back.” He began to walk toward the second room in the kitchen when Sirius stepped out from beneath the cloak and grabbed his shoulder.

“Just let me see what she's doing.” He asked.

James’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted.

“Please.” Sirius begged his friend, “Then we can bust her.”

“Fine” he muttered

Remus handed Sirius the invisibility cloak sighing, “This better be quick.” disapprovingly

Sirius rolled his eyes throwing the cloak over him and walked into the next room what he saw made his jaw drop.

There you sat, on the kitchen floor in nothing but a deep green crop top and a pair of shimmery silver booty shorts. Your y/h/l y/h/c hair was cascading down your back like a waterfall that seemed to glow in the candlelight. Next to you sat a brunette girl in a hoodie and sweatpants that Sirius recognized as Kathy Underhill. In your right hand, you clutched a bottle of fire whiskey and in your left, you held a spoon filled with chocolate ice cream from the carton at your feet.

“You know everryboddy thiks that imma stuck up bish now right?” You slurred, clearly drunk.

“I'm sure they don't,” Kathy said clearly sober.

“Oooohhh yeahhu they do.” You continued. “They’re all wike look at that tempershmental bitch who cants take a joke, wow somebody locks her up shes crazy, she fucked a professor for an and she is sooooo stuck up.”

“Well it's not true,” Kathy said grimacing as you took another swig from the bottle.

“SOO WHAT?” You shouted, your voice suddenly rising as you did from your crossed legs dropping you spoon on the ground, “What am I gonna say, I'm not shtuck up my mom is a alchohalic that blows her money on booze and I had to work all fucking summer in a shitty Cafe where middle-aged men stared up my skirt, to afford the books that the two ashholes you call “funny” you added very dramatic air quotes on the last word. “Ruined for a stupid prank ecaus they are stuck ups dicks who shove money up their asses for fun.”

Sirius’s eyes widened, he really shouldn't be listening to this conversation.

Tears began to fall from your eyes in large drops and Kathy sighed as you started to blabber nonsense.

“Alright sweetie, let's get you off your feet before your trip and kill yourself,” Kathy said rising toward you. You continued to sob as she took the bottle from your hands and helped you to the floor where you buried your head in her lap as she stroked your hair.

“Looks like imma just like my-” You hiccuped “- my bitch of a mother.” You groaned angrily.

“Hey honey, you will never be like that woman, I promise.” Kathy soothed, “I promise.”

“Your the best. I love you” You muttered as you began to drift into sleep.

“Love you too.” Kathy sighed.

Sirius was so caught up in the scene in front of him he almost forgot about his friends who were waiting for him. He quickly turned and walked back to the second room where he removed the cloak and looked at his three wide-eyed friends.

“Oh shit,” James muttered as he looked at Sirius who looked on the edge of a breakdown. Without another word, Sirius thrust the cloak into his friend's hands and bolted.

Of all the people he knew what it was like to hate your mother, to have nothing, to work your ass off for things that are ruined by someone who had so much more. Now he had caused that pain. He had ruined your books. He had destroyed your hard work. He had caused those tears that sprung from your eyes. He had become what he hated most.

Sirius may be fast but James was faster, and he caught the young boy’s wrist before he could escape to god knows where.

When Sirius world around James saw something very rare in his eyes, tears. They were glassy and full. One cascaded down his cheek leaving a shimmering river in its wake.

“Sirius it's not your fault.” He said looking at his friend quite concerned.

“I ruined her books.” he sniffed,

“We didn't know, it's not our fault her mom’s an alcoholic,” James explained.

Sirius glared at his friend ripping his hand from James's angrily, “Would you have cared?” he asked bitterly.

“Of course I would,” James said sincerely

“I don't think you would have,” Sirius seethed taking a step towards him. “You have always had everything, the parents, the money, the house, the smarts, the skills, the girlfriend. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE NOTHING!” He yelled his face red with fury, “So you don't know what it's like to have the one thing you did have ripped from you.” He whispered stepping away from his friend taking a couple of steps turning and sprinting back to the common room.

The next morning Sirius woke to see a stack of books on the end of his bed with a note stuck on top.

“Your right, I'm a dick, now please go give that girl these books and essays before I feel even more like shit. P.S you owe Remus big time for the essays” Sirius lifted the note to see a stack of brand new books and on top four essays each with the name Y/n Y/l/n printed in your handwriting on top. He then glanced at the stack of paint covered books in the corner you had thrown at him, they were still there covered in paint. Confusion covered him He then remembered who he was friends with and smiled.

“James you idiotic genius.” He muttered looking at each perfectly crafted essay. His eyes were shining.

You woke to a less pretty sight. Your head throbbed as you sat up in your bed groaning, you looked at the clock, you still had an hour till your first class but you were too hungry to pass up breakfast, even with your head about to explode. You got up stretched moaning at the pounding in your head and changed into your robes. You headed down to the grand hall after downing five Advils.

When you arrived you saw Kathy chatting with a few other girls you knew. You sat down next to her grabbing the pot of coffee of the table and dumping it into your cup as Kathy greeted you.

“Damn Y/n you look like shit.” a girl named Emma said.

“I feel like shit too.” You answered as you took a massive swig of the coffee.

“You stay up late finishing your essays?” Another girl asked.

You groaned throwing your aching head onto the table as the essays that you had forgotten about reentered your half-awake mind.

“I swear next time I see one of those four assholes I'm gonna put them six feet under.” Kathy hissed.

As if on cue Sirius Black tapped your shoulder. You spun around and were about to speak when Kathy rose, “I think she's seen enough of you Black.” she said sternly.

“Look I know I was I dick I just want to apologize,” Sirius mumbled seeming very uncomfortable as all the girls at the table glared him down.

“She doesn't need your fake apologizes, she’s had enough for a lifetime,” Kathy growled.

“It’s fine Kath.” You sighed, “I'm way too hungover to deal with him asking all day anyway.” You grumbled quietly to her.

She huffed and sat down glaring the boy down as she retracted to her seat.

You looked up at him waiting.

Sirius flashed bright red, an unusual sight, “Oh um I thought I could talk to you in private.” he asked his voice fading in the last words as he scuffed the ground with his feet.

You sighed, “If this is another prank Black I will break you back.”

“No no no I swear it's not.” He said hurriedly.

You groaned standing from the ground and following him out of the hall, still feeling like shit.

“Look, before you break my back can you let me finish what I’m saying?” He asked nervously, You had never seen the boy so nervous.

“Depends on what you say.” You answered narrowing your eyes.

“Alright then here goes,” He sighed “So me and the rest of us were with James last night and we umm heard you and Kathy, and I just-” He was cut off by a fist hitting his jaw.

“YOU ASSHOLE!” You yelled as you realized what he must have heard. Anger once again overrode your systems and you glared at the boy in front of you, “I swear to Merlin I'm gonna drive my-”

He slapped his hand over your mouth muffling your shouts. “Please just listen,” He begged, “Please.” when you looked at him you saw something you had never seen on his face before, desperation. This made you stop nodding as he slowly removed his hand from your mouth. Today was full of new experiences.

“Look I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for ruining your books and that I was a dick and well here.” He said as he reached into his bag and took out a bundle of books and papers.

You gasped when you saw the papers were essays, in your handwriting but much better than you ever could have written, and the books were all of the ones that had been ruined in paint except they were all hardcover and pristine as if they were bought last night.

“How did you….??” Your voice trailed off as you scanned the papers and books.

“My friends may be idiots but they’re geniuses.” He chuckled nervously.

Your amazement was replaced by rage (again) when you realized what was happening and anger flashed in your eyes, “I don't want your pity, Black.” You seethed handing his books back.

“No no no, it's not pity please.” He said as you turned to go.

“What is it then?” you glowered.

“It’s empathy ok? I know what it's like to have an asshole for a mom who never did anything for you ok? I know what it's like to have nothing. I know.”

You stared at him confused, what did a pureblooded rich kid know about that?

“Look my mom kicked me out last year, I mean not out of the house but out of the family. She disowned me and I get it, it sucks. I just got lucky to have amazing friends like James whose parents are super cool.” He sighed handing you the books back, “I was a dick, I’m really truly sorry.”

Your mouth hung open eyes wide. How had you never know this? You knew his brother and him didn't exactly get along but you never knew anything like that had happened to him. And then you did the last thing you expected you would ever do. You took two steps forward and hugged him. Dropping the books and papers on the floor, you wrapped your hands around his waist and buried your head in his chest. At first, he was surprised but it only took him a second to react and he wrapped one arm around your waist to the small of your back and his other around your shoulder resting his hand on the back of your head and pulling you closer to him.

You noticed he smelt of mint and smoke as you let your tears fall from your eyes, soaking his robes.

He buried his head into your soft y/h/c locks and he smelt pomegranate and ginger with the slight tinge of vanilla linger there. His eyes filled with tears and he squeezed them shut as he felt your body shake with sobs. You don’t know how long you stayed there but you wished to forever. When you did pull away your eyes were puffy and red as were his. You were about to turn to pick up the books and papers that were scattered on the ground when Sirius spoke.

“Hey Y/n one more thing.” He said.

“Wha-” his lips collided on yours and it was your turn to be shocked. After a second you melted into the kiss and leaned back into his minty scent as you felt his toung run along your lower lip, you tipped your chin upward giving him better access to your mouth. As his hand found the side of your cheek and yours found his hair. You pulled away after a few seconds later gasping for air.

You looked up at him cheeks flaming red, “Sorry I pushed you into the wall” You paused, “And kneed you… and punched you in the face”

“You could make it up to me by got to Hogsmeade with me this weekend.” He suggested voice barely above a whisper as he stroked your cheek.

“Sound good.” You giggled just then you glanced at your watch. “Shit!” You yelled quickly gathering you new books and essays from the ground. “I've got to get to Herbology!” you turned, turned back placed a quick kiss on Sirius' cheek, “I'll see you later.” You said before dashing out the doors onto the grounds. As he watched you go he touched his flaming cheek with his hand. A few seconds later James walks up next to him.

“She a little less pissed?” he asked nervously.

“You have no idea how much I owe you right now.”

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falloutboywife · 4 years ago

Note

do u have any fob fic recs?

HEWWO YES i have a fuckton of fics to rec, i mostly just read peterick ones (i can’t find a lot of wentzporta or the rarest of rarepairs: stumporta, but i wanna start seeing if i can find any good trohley or joetrick fics) but i have an INSANE amount that i can suggest, i’ll link them and then offer a summary and tags for the content.

disclaimer: i don’t know if you were asking for nsfw fics but that’s like. all that i ever read unless it’s a REALLY good fic or character study or things like that. i’m also gonna warn that some of these are very dark because i like stories that tackle dark themes and a lot of them uh. let’s just say i like tttyg and futct a lot because i love the lore and dynamics surrounding the band in its early days so the eras i like to read fics about will reflect that

there are some in this list that are decidedly more normal than others, and even if some of the tags i mention sound like the fic is gonna be messed up, i can assure you there are way more fics lighter in tone than others in this list. like if a fic is BAD i mention it

I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE IF THIS ISN’T WHAT YOU WERE ASKING also these are in the order that i was able to find them so the quality/how much i like it isn’t in order

https://adellyna.livejournal.com/358618.html this one is about pete letting patrick drink for his seventeeth birthday, warnings for underage up the wazoo

https://adellyna.livejournal.com/355836.html patricksitting is like, THE peterick fic it’s about pete being patrick’s babysitter while his parents are out of town, again underage tag

https://adellyna.livejournal.com/350184.html ANOTHER fic about pete letting underage patrick drink but this time? pete’s recording him. warnings for underage shit and potential dubcon (i wouldn’t call it that bc it’s not how i interpreted it but the author tagged it, so)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/254157 this is a dance dance au where patrick fucks nerd!pete

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1045467 this fic is SO good it’s about the time where pete and patrick got into that really bad fight behind the convenience store while on tour, the one where pete choked patrick so hard he couldn’t sing the next day, this one has like. fight sex i guess is the term. i guess you could call this a darkfic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/522666 this is one of my favorites, it’s about pete kidnapping babystump and patrick developing stockholm syndrome but i PROMISE it is way more heartwarming than that, it’s not a hardcore kidnapping darkfic i swear. underage warning WOW THERE’S A LOT OF THESE

https://archiveofourown.org/works/239403 this is one of the funniest fucking fics i ever read, the premise is that pete pretends to be patrick’s boyfriend to piss patrick’s parents off. underage warning yet again

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25420678 this one is short but literally anything by this author is great, this is @castleinthsky here on tumblr. wilson is a fantastic author and i wish she wrote more, i’d literally read a novel if she wrote it, same with adellyna on lj. this is about pete lusting after patrick but it’s all just him masturbating to the idea of him, underage warning YET AGAIN

https://archiveofourown.org/works/158907 this one is about pete and patrick right after a show fucking in one of the hallways

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1069202 OH GOD THIS ONE IS SO FUCKING HOT this is one where pete is super controlling over patrick during sex he acts like a fucking scumbag it’s SO sexy but The Ending Will Warm Your Heart. i know this one is van days so it MIGHT be underage because i’m just a fucking creep i guess

https://archiveofourown.org/works/443472 okay this is one of my favorite fics of all time, this is part two in a series the author wrote about the idea of patrick having a twin brother, the first one is shorter and just introduces you to the idea but the second one is a fully fleshed out story and i love it so fucking much, you should seriously check this one out because this is one of the best fics out there period. warning for underage and incest YES I’M AWARE OF WHAT I’M LINKING PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK

inb4 “nyan do you read any fics that aren’t weird as shit” PLEASE I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9871037 this is also by castleinthsky and it’s a lot more tame than what i linked before, this is just a cute 2008 fic where they’re on their way to the next town at night and patrick is drunk in the back with pete

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4373366 okay this one is a double whammy and also one of my favorite aus, this is 2011 patrick and 2007 pete. i LOVE the idea of different eras with each other, like i love the idea of post-hiatus pete and patrick ganging up on one of their younger selves and this one specifically is 2011 trick with 2007 pete. the same author ALSO wrote...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4168323 this, which is literally just post-hiatus pete and patrick fucking babystump. it is so goddamn good warnings for selfcest and underage yaddah yaddah you get the point by now

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24333673 this is like the creepiest fic on this list, it’s straight up just pete being a creep (i loooove creepy pete so much if you haven’t noticed) and hypersexualizing van days trick and i feel like at this point i don’t need to warn you what’s in it

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1163036 this is just really rough peterick sex but i also like stories where patrick is a fucking violent bitch so i’m throwing it in here. i love brattystump so much

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4307196 this is a two-part series that is also, that’s right, about patrick starring in a sex tape but this time instead of his consent being very dubious, he’s doing it intentionally as a gift for pete. i think patrick is 17 in this

i am deeply considering not even posting this list at this point because of how many times i’ve used the term “underage” to describe one of these. i swear to god it’s not how it looks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20685 OKAY. BEWENTZED. THIS IS MY NUMBER ONE FAVORITE PETERICK FIC AND IT’S ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS OF ALL TIME it’s like this REALLY long form bewitched au sort of thing where pete is the literal devil and he gives patrick seven wishes, but each wish patrick makes is turned into a lesson about how he can’t force friendships or fame or success and pete twists them in a way that backfires in his face. this is seriously one of the best fucking fics i’ve ever read and even though patrick is in high school in this PLEASE ignore that if that squicks you out because this fic is fucking legendary. this and patricksitting are CRUCIAL to the peterick extended universe

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32760 this is a short one where patrick needs to get laid but the only person around who can do it is pete because joe won’t make a direct offer and he’s pretty sure andy is far from interested

https://archiveofourown.org/works/335389 eden burns is another legendary fic that’s about pete treating patrick like shit as the two are growing up together, this has triggers up the fucking ass so i’d really suggest reading the tags and summary before reading this but it deals heavily with the psychological aspects of molestation rather than just as a kink thing. it’s THAT kind of dark fic i fucking love it i love looking completely insane

https://jamjar.livejournal.com/99731.html OKAY A FIC WHERE IT’S NOT PATRICK THAT’S IN HIGH SCHOOL FOR ONCE this is an age reversal fic and while it doesn’t explore the potential of the idea as much as i’d like it’s still a really good read, it’s about patrick and pete switching ages and it builds an entire setting around that, where pete goes to high school with joe and patrick is trying to establish himself as a musician with andy. pete is a very angsty and emotional teen in this it’s so good

https://swear-jar.livejournal.com/697877.html OH THIS IS A FIC I SERIOUSLY JUST DISCOVERED this one is sooooo fucking hot it’s so weird, it really elaborates on when pete was unmedicated when he was younger so the logic in this one is super fun to figure out. i love fics that try their own interpretation of pete when he was unmedicated and unstable because it’s so fascinating trying to explore his psychology in a safe and creative environment, and i relate to a lot of stories like these because i have bipolar like pete and when it was unmedicated while i was younger it destroyed my fucking life so i understand a lot of the things he used to do or say about himself, anyway in this fic he jerks off to patrick in his sleep without him knowing so warnings for that and for vomit. i wouldn’t call this a darkfic just really bizarre and i love it for that

https://giddygeek.livejournal.com/138523.html and this is the last rec i have for now, it’s another dance dance au where both pete and patrick gang up on nerd patrick and it’s very cute

please don’t be mean to me i pay my taxes on time and i vote democrat and bernie should have won the nomination instead of biden

#fic rec tag

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poorreputation · 5 years ago

Text

SPN 15X12: Galaxy Brain- Notes

Written By: Meredith Glynn, Robert Berens

Directed By: Richard Speight Jr.

Summary (via IMDB): Sam and Dean respond to a frantic call and assist in an extraordinary and heartbreaking rescue; Billie surprises everyone with a visit to the bunker.

Tagging: @thegalwhorants @emblue-sparks @metafest @verobatto-angelxhunter @evvvissticante @sudo-apt-get-destiel @wildligia @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @stopmakingfaces @legendary-destiel @studio-hatter @rosegirl1994 (peeps put in bold are those tumblr won’t let me tag. It’s tumblr, what else is new?)

Spoilers under the cut:

-Kaia and Claire mentions, why do you hurt me like this?? WHY?!

-Few Weeks Ago: Earth 2- We cut to a 'Radio Shed'. Only people of a certain age will get the reference.

-'It's monologue time' fuck, spare me.

-When you have an existential crisis over writing AU fanfic.

-Note how Chuck constantly ignores Cas, even when he's front and center.

-Sioux Falls. Our World. Now- Jodie! Alex! Patience! Be still my heart!

-Bet you it's Evil!Kaia. Don't touch Jody, or I swear-

-TFW talk angst. Jack feels bad when looking over Mary's initials on the table.

-Dean kinda trusts Death, Cas trusts Jack, but Sam remains skeptical.

-Dean and Cas sit and have an angsty drink. Quality and romantic bonding over planning to kill God, business as usual.

-Jody calls because shit's hit the fan.

-Sam and Dean head out to save Jody. Evil!Kaia kicks their asses, demands the Spear back. Dean breaks it to her that it's destroyed. Distracted, Jody gets the drop on her.

-Kaia's been stuck in the Bad Place this whole time. Now, this would be a surprise if this show's PR team didn't have such a raging spoiler boner.

-Anyway- KAIA'S BACK! BLESS BOBO! CALL CLAIRE, HER GF'S BACK!!

-THIS SHOW MAKING MY DREAMS COME TRUE, CAS AND JODY MEET!!

-Jack's under strict orders not to use his powers, so Evil!Kaia can't get her way: to save her world (but mostly Kaia)

-MY TV COULDN'T TAKE THE GAY SHIT THAT IS DREAMHUNTER. IT'S GONE GREEN, WHERE'S MY JODY-CAS BONDING?!?

-Jack and Evil!Kaia bond as fellow angsty outsiders. He's determined to save Kaia.

-The Reaper sent to keep an eye on Jack threatens to tell Billie. Jack tells her good luck with that after-the-fact, and the Reaper's talked into helping.

-The warding Amara initially blasted away in the Bunker is temporarily restored. Jack can use his powers without Chuck knowing.

-Cas, baby, you did patch things up with Claire, why do you hate yourself like this?!

-Sam, Dean and Evil!Kaia head to the Bad Place. And immediately run into trouble. As you do.

-The trio finds Kaia, and for a split second, I'm convinced she's gonna use that knife on Dean. They focused so much on the Dean-holding-her-at-gunpoint part, that I wouldn't have blamed her.

-Evil-now-Redeemed!Kaia stays in the Bad Place, even as it collapses around her.

-Kaia asking if Claire will be in Sioux Falls was so gay, I'm surprised my screen didn't turn green, again.

-Billie's back, she's all-knowing, and TFW 2.0 is fucked.

-Billie tells them how all the worlds Chuck created are dying. She also reveals that everyone has a death book, including God, who's greatest weakness is writing himself into the plot.

Those are my thoughts for last nights episode! I may write up a meta later, we’ll see, but this was such a good ep, with plenty of material to sift through.

I hope you guys take care. It’s scary times, but we’ll get through it.

♥

#SPN #15X12 #Galaxy Brain #S15 #S15 Spoilers #S15 Speculation #writers #writing #notes

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keyofjetwolf · 5 years ago

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GIFTENING Bonus Rounds

For each category, I included a “bonus round” question. YOU GUYS KILLED IT. I loved all the answers, but listed below are some of my particular favourites.

Haruka Tenoh is trapped in the wrong anime! Which would you have her visit next?

I want her to earth shake Kyubey out of existence, please and thank you

My bride is a mermaid. She can relate. :P

i think she would THRIVE in bodacious space pirates. gay teenage space pirates whose job is to dress up, be Dramatic, and rob the wealthy??? that shit is RIGHT up her alley

Hamtaro

Princess Tutu - where the world is finally as dramatic as her

PGSM (and Michiru is trapped with her, for REASONS)

Pokemon because everyone deserves to be happy

Any moe-style series so hijinks can ensue at her being baffled by everyone's ages

1960's Speed Racer

is is this a captcha or something i missed oh god

Free! so she can be indifferent to all the hot men and slightly uncomfortable because she still can't swim.

Stick Haruka in a Gundam!

Dump her in Pretear or one of the Precures! It would be hilarious! She's never in the genre she wants to be!

Revolutionary Girl Utena, so she can be offended by misuse of roses.

Initial D, she will out-drive and out-drift all those guys and steal all their girls.

Evangelion. I would feel bad to watch her suffer, but it would be so, so funny for her to be the comparatively most normal person around.

Yakitake Japan! SO SHE CAN HAVE A SNACK OF DELICIOUS RIDICULOUS BREAD BEFORE THE NEXT INTERDIMENSIONAL ANIME STORM WHISKS HER AWAY.

The Holograms or the Misfits? DISCUSS

Holograms

both? both. BOTH IS GOOD

misfits bc Evil Ladies Hot

Steven and the stevens

Misfits. How dare you make us try to think about anything in our lives.

Both, you mad fool. Those combined songs were the best.

The Misfits, their songs are better

The Misgrams: A group of girls who form a singing telegram start up company, but constantly deliver the telegrams to the wrong people.

kimber & stormer

Neither. Limp Lizards all the way. BROKEN GLASS.

I do not know what these things are

Misfits because guitar motorcycle

The Isle of Misfit Holograms

Holograms is just arguably better

I mean, I’m told the Misfits’ songs are better, but my true answer is the band Kimber and Stormer made in that big gay episode you liveblogged (checks) almost four years ago.

I've no idea what these words mean and I hope this does not make me TOO uncool.

this is about jem, right? right?? im hip i swear

Misfits, because Jasper is a member apparently

I don't know from Jem, but I mean...I certainly prefer holographic material to Glenn Danzig? So I guess there's your answer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Stingers

LIMP LIZARDS FOREVER

Senshi Band

You can make me liveblog a full series of any show you want! You also hate me. What do you have me watch?

Pick a GoT rip-off, any GoT rip-off

The Bachelor?

The Bachelor :(

depends on how much i hate you, but....probably the bachelor. quantity AND lack of quality

Critical role, it would take forever

If I were a horrible person who sought only malice? Big Bang Theory. Entire series.

Toddlers and Tiaras

The Mandalorian - Disney would come after you and kill keyofjetwolf just as dead as keyofnik. We would all be very sad, you would have to go through a second round of restoring things to a new tumblr account, and your organizational heart would weep over adding yet another hosting site out of chronological order.

You are liveblogging Eva, and must discuss in full detail Shinji's emotional state at all times.

Hannity & Colmes

The Kardashians. And all of their spin offs. *kisses*

The price is right

the bachelor

Probably something with lots of romance and no friendships. Soap operas are like that, right? My college roommate used to watch General Young Light Restless Hospital of Our Lives (which one had Like and Laura?) And it was torture.

One Piece, because it's over 900 episodes so you could maybe do 10% before you die, also you will hate how the women are treated most of the time.

Fushigi Yuugi. Not only do you hate it but it also comes with you squirming when you admit to watching the whole thing. ;)

Plus belle la vie. It's an ongoing French soap opera that has been airing five days a week since 2004, they're nearing their 4000th episode and there's no end in sight. Imagine all those hours upon hours submerged in French drama, mwahahaha!!

The Bachelor. Or the Bachelorette, maybe - more straight dudes in that.

The Young and the Restless - IT IS THE LIVEBLOG THAT NEVER ENDS. IT WOULD OUTLAST THE INTERNET.

The entirety of the Bachelor franchise.

You can only play one game for the rest of your life. Which game would it be and why?

Kingdom Hearts Complete Collection. A) I love them. B) I beat the system and get like 10 games instead of one.

Gemcraft. This game actually takes a lifetime to finish.

Hatoful Boyfriend. It is the best game ever created. Feel it in your heart.

that's a mean question and you can't make me answer it

Pathfinder, which you could play for the rest of your life and still never finish.

Civ VI , so I can rule the world without leaving my house.

I am legitimately perturbed by this question and refuse to answer it.

Pokemon Go. I would have nothing else, but I would catch them all.

The Elder Scrolls Skyrim: I'll never run out of side-quests.

Mass Effect--it's the only way I'll get full completion.

The dinosaur game on Chrome when the internet doesn't connect because my life is monotonous and it's a welcome relief.

Stardew Valley. Peaceful farmer life and turning my children into doves when I'm bored with them.

Crabs Adjust Humidity

Oh my! A number of things come to mind, not one of them fit for print. Just, you know...*gestures vaguely* sex shit.

I can't even stick to the ones I play now.

This is the worst of all possible things and I refuse to answer.

Monopoly, I hate myself :(

Probably Minecraft! I haven't gotten into it because I know if I start I will NEVER STOP. Who would do things like build a hundred foot tall statue of Mako-chan? A-THAT'D BE ME.

the game. Of LIFE! *shrug emoji*

I don't believe I'll tell you, because I AM a salty little fish and it was HARD to cut that 11th choice off my vote.

Holligay and I are going to be the leads in a new buddy film. What's the premise? How does it end?

Be gay do crimes. Thelma and Louise. Duh. :P

I have no idea but only just surviving disaster is how it ends.

You break down in a small town during a roadtrip- your stay is full of hijinks and ends with you teaching the townsfolk the true meaning of friendship.

Doctor Holligay, Esquire, PhD, renowned Jewish femme of many talents, is assigned one Operative Jet Wolf as her bodyguard on a foreign diplomatic mission/vacation/culinary tour of the world ("same difference, shut up, narrator"). One problem: Operative Wolf needs a bodyguard herself, as the good doctor discovers when in one night her toilet is destroyed ("IT WAS A SECURITY THREAT") and Operative Wolf nearly breaks a leg falling down a small set of stairs ("THEY PUT A CLIFF OUTSIDE THE DOOR"). Worldwide shenanigans ensue as Holligay and Operative Wolf learn the true meaning of friendship, and also how to take care of themselves... by taking care of each other.

I’m not sure about the premise, but DEFINITELY it ends in murder.

Someone posted a major spoiler during one of your liveblogs. The two of you track them down seeking revenge. It turns out it was the original creator of the series trying to stop you. For some reason Holligay is a CGI badger.

It's clearly a buddy cop movie, and like all good buddy cop movies, it ends with Doc almost dying, and you saving her, and slapping her wound in the hospital as the credits roll.

It ends as it began: with Holligay roasting you.

A straight detective and her lesbian partner have to solve the case of the missing cinnamon buns. It ends with nobody getting the guy OR the girl and you drive off into the sunset together, perps behind bars sans cinnamon buns.

I don't know what it's about but I know it will be the only movie that ever existed.

Holligay is the lesbian chief of staff to you somehow being elected President and she's basically running the country while you're the charming face of the administration

Nerd and cowgirl meet at a bar, justifyingly murder some gross dude, go on the run from the law and have a life-changing road trip, on the way Nazis are punched

carrying a delicate object through a forest after your helicopter goes down

Thelma and Louise, but instead of dying, your deaths are clearly faked and you live on a ranch in Montana with your respective spouses and animals. One time a cop comes by the restaurant/bar you joint own with Doc and says, "You look familiar." Doc, in perfect lesbian, answers, "Jet's just got that criminal look, on account of how much she'd love to steal my cheesecake recipe. More pie?"

Queer Eye with a Straight Goy. The two of you do the show but in your own special ways.

Doc Holligay is the wild-west no-nonsense sheriff. Jet Wolf is the all-fun cyberpunk cop from the future. They punch nazis and argue about food. It ends as a tv series ala B99.

Your lives are already a buddy film, don’t get greedy.

Hands and socks. You know how it ends.

See Grumpy Old Men for details. How does it end? Badly.

I can't imagine the premise, but I'm pretty sure the planet explodes.

A Coen Bros film. It ends poorly.

Wait? You're not already living this now?

REI HINO

Sure. Why not?

HINO REI

<3<3<3<3

REI HINO!

Rei who? ;)

REI HINOOOOOOOOO

Plush Is being hugged by Zoisite in your banner.

MINAKO AINO

MAKOTO KINO

The best

SOCKS

MICHIRU KAIOH

It's time tooo.... REI! THAT! HINO!

sponsored by Here! curry

LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES USAGI LOVES REI [THIS REPEATS A LOT A LOT AND IS GLORIOUS] [...] LOVES USAGI LOVES REI LOVES JETWOLF

(THE REAL ONE)

Isn't how you spell Makoto Kino!

THE REAL ONE™

obviously

IS NOT A RHINO

In conclusion: Rei Hino

Rei Hino is giving this Giftening finger guns

BEAUTIFUL, STUNNING, SHOW-STOPPING, TALENTED, AMAZING, WONDERFUL

Hot stuff, lights my fire, blazes it regularly. I am out of fire jokes.

PASSION FLAME, SAILOR MARS

These hot feelings are C'EEEEEST LAAAAA VIIIIIIE c'mon rei-chan why aren't you singing along

IS THE BEST (I know who I'm talking to)

Ara!

DID DOCTOR HOLLIGAY PHD NOMINATE THE OPTION OF TALKING ABOUT MICHIRU KAIOH FOR 6 HOURS!!

If Hot Pocket were to plan One Last Heist, what do you think would be his objective? What would be Mina's role in his master plan?

Master Hot Pocket seeks BREAD. His friend and loyal companion, Mina-pup, acts as a distraction, as he has learned the humans are easily distracted by cute. While she does her sworn duty as Best Friend and Cutest Goodest Girl, probably with lolling tongue and glee at all the pets she receives, he picks the locks on the newly childproofed pantry, and Master Howard H. Pocket FEASTS AS NO CAT HAS BEFORE.

Every bag of flour in Montana; Mina runs distraction with her adorable puppy eyes

Open every container, leave none unmarked. Mina is the lookout who greets whoever comes and is completely ineffective at her job.

TAKE ALL THE FLOUR. Do it straight from the source: FlourCo Inc. What does a 10-pound cat do with eighty thousand tons of flour? If you can't figure that out, there's a reason he's the brains of this outfit. Mina would obviously be the bumbling lovable distraction to security or other people.

Bread. Mina is The Face who provides distraction to the Keepers of the Bread by walking up to them and being herself. Mina has absolutely no idea that Hot Pocket is using her in this manner because Hot Pocket is that Machiavellian, but Mina is a pocket full of sunshine in canine form and probably would just be happy to help out.

Hot Pocket knows that no mammal of the floor believes in flour anymore. It went away a long time ago. It doesn't exist. But what he also knows is that they're wrong. A lack of opposable thumbs won't hide the truth from him. He'll find the stash, and when he does, he'll stick his paw in it. Mina, with her limited climbing skills, will lick its remains from his claw and prove his discovery. As well as provide a warm place to curl up on for the aftermath of their adventure.

His goal is to sample every edible thing he can get his teeth on. Mina pulls triple duty as step stool, distraction, and scape goat

The Silver Crystal. Mina would play the role of Sailor V.

He is getting ALL THE FLOUR. Mina is a lovable distraction.

Looting all the carbs in the pantry. mina is distraction.

mina's role would be the "dopey" but talented best friend who it looks like HP is going to betray for the sake of the plan but then it all comes together when HP mounts a dramatic rescue. i dunno i'm still in film mode from that last one.

The Holy Bread Locked Within the Cupboard. Mina would be the distraction, but she'd forget what she was supposed to be distracting from and end up leading you to him.

I am the Void. I am the Night. I am the Darkness with no hope of dawn. The Flour trembles before me in it's bleached fluffiness. It shall not escape my chaos, which will descend upon it like the Terrors of the Deep, claws and teeth and gnashing. It will howl at my claws. It will scream for my teeth, sharp and white, stars in the night of my fur. I shall tend and tear and -- Dammit, Dog-thing! How am I supposed to be terrible and terrifying with you wagging your tail and panting at me!? Oh, you found a good warm sunbeam? I guess I can stalk stuff later. I am the Void. I shall absorb the Sun's light and warmth and bring it into my Darkness where it cannot escape...

I'm new here and don't know all the complex lore of Jetwolf(fairly sure Mina is dog), so I'm going to assume that Hot Pocket is an actual hot pocket and his heist is robbing Fort Knox using Mina as his loyal stead/get away car. Then he explodes a microwave or something.

i lik the bred

Mina as the distraction while he takes one last tastes of EVERYTHING

objective--stealing more chips; Mina--surprise betrayal

The scene: Mama Jet's pantry The Objective: the bag of cake flour Aunt Doc made Mama Jet buy but she's never used Mina: confused but excited escape vehicle and/or scapegoat

RAIDING THE KING ARTHUR FLOUR FACTORY. Mina is of course adorable and keeps everyone's attention while Hot Pocket swan dives into the flour like Uncle Scrooge

Hot Pocket would definitely try to steal a monument, Carmen SanDiego style. Mina, of course, is the multi-talented and super cute face of the operation.

I have no idea who Hot Pocket is

HP would try to scale the tallest building in the world. Not to steal anything, just to be up there. Mina would be the adorable diversion.

It would be to get whatever food you've left on the counter. Preferably bread. He would tell Mina that he'll give her some of she acts as a distraction. She's a good dog so she does. He's a cat so she gets no food.

Truly, truly, THE GIFTENING winner is us all.

#THE GIFTENING 2019 #THE GIFTENING 2019 admin stuff #long post for ts

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testingcheatsenabletrue · 5 years ago

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SHIT FOR THE LIE!!! NO CLICKY PEOPLE WHO DONT WANT SPOILERS!!!!!

So, first of all:

I loved this shot..... tumblr’s going to kill the quality, obviously, but god.... the lighting...

This one’s cool too!!! Like 100% honest I have no clue wtf is going on with Felwinter. I know he’s a fan favorite, but I know next to nothing about him beyond what’s been covered in D2. So this whole thing is abt Rasputin because I know more about him bc there’s more of him in D2. And??? Honestly???? My heart hurts (the best way I can describe the feeling) knowing Rasputin has a bunker dedicated to just. Storing stuff he cares about? That remind him of his past, both his origins, and his fuck ups.... I was wondering the whole duration of The Lie why he was doing this random stuff and reaching out to us, specifically. After completing it I was like ‘why didn’t he give this to Ana?’

And, after contemplating it, I think the reason he let us see it is to try and convince us, the Guardian, to trust him. Ana already trusts him wholeheartedly, he doesn’t need to convince her that he’s trying to do good. But us, the Guardian, the only other person he finds notable? We haven’t outright said to him that we trust him. We haven’t done anything to prove it, either. For all he knows - we’re only following orders to assist him.

Like how this stuff is positioned says:

“I used to be small. I used to be nothing. I did my best to grow up. I learned. I made mistakes. I regret them.”

He’s humbling himself, in a way. I think he’s realized in the past couple years that he’s not as tough shit as he thought before. He tried soloing everything before, and it was consistently a failure. He needs equals, people he can count on and ally with. He needs friends he can count on.

It parallels the Guardian’s story: they used to be tough shit, defeating Gaul, waking up the Traveler, killing a Hive God - but in Forsaken, they fucked up. They got someone they cared about killed (in their eyes), and went on a blind rampage that ended up tarnishing the reputation they had built over the years. They failed in Forsaken, and in Shadowkeep they still continue to fail. They were defeated by the Pyramid. And both times it’s because they went in alone.

Rasputin realized, to defeat the darkness, people needed to work together. And that includes him. The Guardian still hasn’t seemed to get that, yet.

‘The Lie’ is a Cindarella-esque mission. Rasputin was trying to find ‘equals’, to find ‘friends’, in the only way he knows how: judging their combat tactics. The tower events were not only to get more satellites into the air, but to study and assess every possible Guardian for someone he could ‘befriend’. We stood out to him, for some reason (Ana was even confused by this). Reason being: probably on his own time he realized the reason his only true ally is Ana is because he has an emotional bond with her. In her past life, she taught him language. In this life, she stands by his side even when no one else is, gives him funny nicknames, jokes with him and pokes fun at him, but also sings praises about him because she cares about him.

So he chose us because we were the only other person who had an emotional connection to him. After all, we literally saved his life. He also probably somehow knows of our story (everyone seems to), and identified the similarities. We were a perfect candidate for being his ‘new friend’. So he’s trying to gain our trust. The end he talks in third person, very officially, probably because - again - that’s all he knows, and we just have to read between the lines to find what he’s actually trying to say, because he doesn’t know the words. Taking into account that it’s only a week or so away until the Pyramids arrive.

And I’m fairly certain what he’s trying to say is this:

“You and I are similar. I messed up and got someone killed that I cared about, but didn’t realize it until it was too late. You messed up, too, and got someone killed that you cared about. I am saddened by my loss. You are also saddened by your loss. We are the same. We are equals.

Let us swear, together, that we will not loose again.”

Something I noticed while looking: there’s this... shin? Shinguard? And, while I wasn’t able to get a picture of it because I only noticed it while loading out of the instance: there’s a forearm as well. Rasputin made a coffin for his ‘son’, putting the last three pieces of what was left of him: his shin, his forearm, and his gun; and ‘buried’ him in the place where he keeps things that most matter to him. He let us into that space, his ‘safe space’ if you will. He gave us a piece of his son, a piece of his past, something that mattered to him most of all.

While I don’t think is possible, since I’m assuming SIVA corrupted/destroyed the rest of Felwinter, it may be cool if we can soon be able to go and find pieces of Felwinter and start reassembling him in the Moon bunker. If not to revive him, then to at least as a gesture to Rasputin to say: together, we will rebuild, and we will not loose again.

#my shit #we only know eat hot chip and the lie #long post #real fucking long post #its basically a novel thats how long it is #im probably reading too much into this #but i have SO MANY EMOTIONS

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nomadiiccc · 5 years ago

Note

5 9 10 11 12 [ SHIPPING MEME. ]

[ meme ]

5. how easily does your muse fall in love?

loki is usually pretty slow to truly fall in love. he’s someone who reveals more layers the longer you know him, that way it’s easier for him to control how deeply you can see him, and thus, hurt him. he might act like he’s in love, with warm intimacy and long conversations, but he’s not actually in love. it’s not that everything is shallow one-night stands and flirtation, it’s just that with his long lifespan, he knows how fleeting things can be, and it’s great that something might last a few years, but most things will come to an end. now, human loki is a little different. he’s still very guarded, still carries that same depth of emotion that god!loki does, but he might fall for someone a lot easier. generally in my modern verses he’s known for flitting from person to person, and some of those relationships have been very deep and have served to shatter him just that little bit more.

( but also tbh in rp i tend to move into romantic declarations and deep ships fairly quickly if the chemistry is there. slow burn is great in theory, and it works for fics where you can plot ahead & know where the twists and turns are, but collaborative writing is a little more difficult with all the unknowns in the direction things could lead. )

9. who are some characters you ship your muse with?

oh man. so i’ve had some awesome OC ships in the past, notably with a night-elf and a reaper both played by my friend salem, and i will ALWAYS ship those muses. um, i have also shipped loki with salem’s oswald cobblepot from the gotham tv show, and i can also see him being a beautiful stabby husband to victor zsasz -- at the very least you can’t deny that they would make great partners in crime. other crossover ships i’ve imagined include loki/thranduil and this absolutely beautiful soulmate thing i’m writing with my tumblr wife @prlman, elio from call me by your name.

as far as marvel canon goes, it’s almost a better idea to ask who i DON’T ship my muse with. xD my biggest marvel ship is frostiron. it’s actually the ship that got me into marvel after a friend of mine suggested i might enjoy these two idiots and the fandom at large. i did, and that’s been 6 years ago now, and i’m still just as in love with my snark husbands. i also enjoy several really great thorki ships with some friends from my bdsm discord group, covey of keys, and omg i will always remember the beautiful ships i had with a thor who no longer RPs, both a modern verse & a canon setting. i definitely ship loki with other versions of loki. i also ship frostshield! never understood it until i read the series remember this cold ( which has a lot of newer installments i still need to read now! ) fandroki! sometimes even sifki! winterfrost ( loki/bucky ), which i have even played as an ot3 including thor. my guilty ship though would probably be what i’m calling space princes, which is loki and peter quill. i just think peter’s particular brand of humor would at first annoy loki before it becomes incredibly endearing. and they can both relate to sucky dads, though if we have to compare, peter’s sucks far worse.

generally speaking, if someone gives me a justification for a ship with loki, i’m usually on board. at the very least, he will usually at least have a one-night stand because why not, unless they might actually kill him?

10. do you tend to write more romantic ships, or more platonic and familial ships?

i definitely write more romantic ships, tho in the covey discord server my loki ( who goes by sim there ) has a lot of friendships that i like to explore, especially in regards to his very close friendship with @thenamesallison. given that particular setting, his friends tend to be more friends who might occasionally fuck around, but that’s just how loki is.

i really, really, REALLY want to explore more of loki & thor’s sibling relationship, though. i’d like to take the romantic aspect out of it entirely and just write them being brothers and getting up to crazy adventures in their youth. BUT OMG ESPECIALLY, give me some post-ragnarok things after the asgardians come to earth, but let them not get attacked by thanos and loki not die so he and thor can work on their relationship. also give me thor taking loki to the avengers compound and integrating him into the team with a very stern ‘if you fuck anything up you’re going to WISH i killed you’ and a ‘this is my brother and i know he’s done bad things but i swear to god he’s all i have so fucking be nice’ to the avengers team.

11. how long does your muse have to know someone before they decide to ask them out?

dude he can lock eyes with someone in a club and SILENTLY invite them to the bathroom to go fuck. he needs zero lead up. dating is a little different, but he still doesn’t need a lot of preparation. it’s not like asking someone on a date is the equivalent to proposing, so he’s pretty free with it. worst case scenario, the date goes horribly and he hops to another realm & ghosts them. there doesn’t need to be a second date.

12. what is your muse’s love language?

okay i took a quiz to find out bcuz i’m not super certain.

You respond to encouraging words

Kind words, compliments, positive feedback – this is what makes you feel loved. You are very sensitive to the power of words that do good. Tender words about your looks, clothes, human qualities, professional skills… are all highly motivating for you. You feel like you are really living and that your partner appreciates you. It’s no surprise that nothing is more hurtful to you that harsh ultimata, sarcasm or cruel words. To you words have the power to elevate, motivate or destroy. You are equally receptive to words of encouragement: those that urge you to go forward with something you were hesitating about, perhaps because you were doubting yourself. Such words proved that your partner believes in you and help you understand that your relationship is based on trust. Some advice: If your partner were to change some of their behaviours, it could help further harmonise your couple. Nothing better than for them to read the results of your test! Some people aren’t used to putting their appreciation into words, while others can be stingy with their compliments. It’s all a question of education, some wrongly thing that you can read their thoughts, so no need of saying anything. Encourage your partner to verbalise their thoughts. Teach then to tone down a little: rather than exigent demands or warnings (You didn’t do this… you must do that…) ask them to use a more requesting type language (I’d really like it if you would… it would be a help to me if you could…) As you are sensitive to compliments you would particularly appreciate it if your partner praised you, and not just when you two are along… when they get some public praise, you would be touched and flattered if they publicly associated you with their success.

sounds pretty accurate!

#vitrexanima #( ask. )#( i know i died that night & i’ll never be brought back to life | headcanons. )#*

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hightress · 6 years ago

Text

As If He Had A Choice (Bakugou x Midoriya)

This is my gift for the sweet @brown-rice on tumblr fo the @bkdksecretsanta event. Hope you'll like it, sweetheart, it was a pleasure writing it for you!

A03 link

Relationship: Bakugou Katsuki / Midoriya Izuku

Tags: Fluff and Humor, Christmas Fluff, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki, Pro Hero Midoriya Izuku, Established Relationship

Word Count: 2.2k

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair how that freckled idiot could just grin at him in that annoying way of his - all wide, pearly white teeth and freaking dimples showing - and ask for something, no matter what, expecting Bakugou to say yes to any stupid idea of his. And then get exactly what he wanted. Like what the fuck?!

Bakugou was strong enough to say 'no'. Shout it even. Repeat it again and again and again until it got engraved over his moronic forehead. He was good at this, did it every day, with anyone.

Anyone that wasn't Deku, of course.

"We're not decorating the entire house," were his words every single time Deku asked. "I don't give a rat's ass if it's Christmas or not, I don't need or want to waste time putting up things all over the goddamn flat only to waste even more time taking them down." All rough words, all clear. Should've sent the message across but, judging what followed next, wasn't the case.

"But, Kacchan, it'll just be a tree. Please..."

Big eyes, green and shiny and pleading, hoping and waiting for Bakugou to give in.

"Don't give me that shit, Deku. Why the hell would we even need a tree?" They were both in the hallway, fully dressed in their hero costumes, ready to go. Someone was in danger a few streets away from them and here they were, proper, licensed heroes, talking about freaking decorations.

"It's traditional. Besides, everyone will have one." A short pause before he moved his eyes to the floor and his smile turned into that curve of insecurity and awkwardness that Bakugou could not stand. "And...I thought it would be nice to have one as well"

He hated that look. Despised seeing Deku make himself smaller instead of looking right up into Bakugou's eyes, shouting and demanding loud and clear what he felt like he deserved. He wasn't a kid anymore. He wasn't Bakugou's inferior like, maybe once, they felt he was. He was a hero in his own right and he was strong. Incredibly so. If he could stand up against an army of villains, he sure as hell could stand up for himself in front of Bakugou for some stupid tree.

Not that Bakugou would make things easier for him. "I don't care what the others are doing. This is my flat."

It wasn't a fight, just a mere discussion. It was constructive - for both of them, it always was. They stopped fighting for real, leaving all that toxicity in the past.

"This is also my flat and I want a Christmas tree, Kacchan," replied Izuku, his eyes staring at Bakugou steadily, holding his gaze with confidence. "So I'll be getting one."

That's what Bakugou liked to see. Sometimes it took some time for Izuku to speak up properly, even with him, especially to him, but he was getting better. That 'I'll be getting one' was a statement. It didn't leave any space for rejection or doubts. It wasn't as if Bakugou could just say 'No, you're not' or 'I won't let you'. It was Izuku's decision. Bakugou had no power over him or over what he wanted. And, to be honest, he quite enjoyed having Izuku in charge from now and then, even if for something as trivial as decorating the flat.

He didn't say anything in return to Izuku's words, but a tiny, tiny smile appeared at the corner of his mouth.

That small gesture was what did it. Made that contagious grin resurface, just as blinding as always. And, just like that, the word 'no' disappeared from Bakugou's vocabulary completely. There was going to be a tree, end of story.

Damned be that smile. Damned be the way it made Bakugou feel. And damned be the fact that he didn't regret it one bit.

Thankfully, they had to go, leaving behind this whole discussion for a bit. Bakugou might've agreed to the idea but he sure didn't want to say it out loud. Some things were meant to be kept inside. Besides, Deku was smart enough to understand him properly.

Most of the time.

Stubborn was a good word to describe Izuku - stubbornly ambitious to be exact. That's what brought him to UA and what made him surpass every single obstacle life has thrown his way. Bakugou remembered himself laughing and mocking that ambition constantly, not being able to understand him or accept those qualities. He couldn't get how someone could be just as ambitious as him, maybe even more so, while still staring at him and everyone else from thousands of steps below with an almost frightening determination.

The same stubbornness was what made him bring up the Christmas tree problem again later that day, as soon as they saw the two villains they had to take care of locked up appropriately.

He was taking off the gloves of his hero costume, still covered in mud and slightly burned at the edge of his index finger when he asked: "Do you want to buy it on our way back or during the weekend? They might be cheaper now."

Bakugou stopped what he was doing and looked at Izuku, a blank expression on his face. "It's not even December." Then, he moved his head to the side, not meeting Izuku's eyes, and muttered: "Besides, we're not buying one."

Disappointment hit Izuku instantly. He opened his mouth to protest, but he only managed to let out a cried out "Kacchan, we've already-" before he got interrupted by Bakugou.

"We'll be building the shit."

If Izuku seemed confused before, his confusion only intensified after this. It was clear in his posture.

And, this once, Bakugou didn't waste any more time waiting to explain himself.

"We can't just use a tree some barbarian cut from the forests, Deku. Fucking hell, I like the smell, but I refuse to destroy the future of our goddamn planet for some shitty tradition. And the plastic ones are just as bad for the environment."

For the millionth time that year, Izuku rolled his eyes fondly at Bakugou's antics, a small, soft smile, curving the edge of his lips. Because of some documentary they have watched a couple weeks after they moved in together, years after they left UA behind and started their careers, Bakugou became obsessed with the idea of preserving the nature, recycling and, as he, himself, would've said it, 'all the other crap.' It shouldn't have surprised him, especially considering how he always went way out of his way when something interested him. And since he had started focusing more of on helping people rather than his own pride and desire for a position that mattered less than saving lives, Bakugou did the same thing. He didn't limit himself to wanting to protect citizens. He also used his energy to save the very earth they walked on and everything in between.

Because, as he liked to say, 'what was the point of rescuing them now if they were only going to suffer and live in ruin in the years to come?'

A valid question and one that many heroes never came across even after decades of calling themselves pros.

"How?" asked Izuku, smiling at him, all traces of confusion and doubt gone. Because despite how practical Bakugou's idea seemed, they were both disasters when it came to building things from scratch.

They rarely had the patience to stay put for more than a couple of minutes and they both knew it.

"Hell if I know," admitted Bakugou. But, somehow, this time there was a light in his eyes that told Izuku he was more than a little excited to try. After all, there were few things in existence that Bakugou loved more than a good challenge.

Gathering all the materials for it took less than they expected. In just two days they had an entire bag full of paper, ready to be painted, cut and reassembled. They had only needed to send a message to one of their old UA chats, asking for any kind of unwanted paper they might have around the house and in less than an hour, they had both Kirishima and Kaminari donating every single one of their notebooks and test papers. Which was a lot.

"Why are you donating them all, dipshits?" Bakugou had asked them when they met personally to give them to him.

"We just wanted to help, dude," answered Kaminari with a shit-eating grin and with the most innocent look in his eyes. But all three of them knew better than to believe that lie.

"Just take them, Bakugou. And send us all a picture when the tree is up," said Kirishima instead, beating Bakugou's back twice before saying goodbye, hurrying to get to his own hero agency.

Painting every single page in green took the longest. It was horrible and unexpectedly expensive. Bakugou almost gave up twice, growling at the paint, before remembering that he couldn't ever give up on anything. Just looking at him exhausted Izuku sometimes.

How Bakugou could manage so much energy was one of his life's biggest wonders.

They stopped from time to time for a snack or to stare at the old tests in their hands, remembering fondly (or pridefully, in Bakugou's case) the old days in which passing a harsh test with flying colors had been one of the most stressful things they had to deal with. Of course, Kaminari's answers on certain tests made them both laugh whenever he tried to answer a question by inventing equations or formulas.

"Oh, Pikachu, this symbol doesn't even fucking exist," smiled Bakugou, his eyes moving over the page. There was such an unguarded expression on his face, just looking back at messed up things their friends (God, how long it had taken for Bakugou to acknowledge that fact) used to do back in the day. Having him on the ground, in his socks and the embarrassing t-shirt and pants that were too worn up to wear outside but Bakugou refused to give up on, holding those papers, some filled with greens, some barely touched by paint, and with that smile all over his features, made Izuku happy. Truly, stupidly happy.

So happy that he wanted to jump on him in a less than elegant way and kiss him profoundly until Bakugou had no other choice but to step back, his cheeks tainted with that soft pink that Izuku adored.

He wanted to do it, so he did. And the result was just as wonderful as he had expected.

It has taken them a week to complete the tree. They had used some YouTube tutorials in order to learn how to create origami for the decorations and that brought them close to tears after the 43rd crane they had folded, their hands tired and full of cuts, but the end result had been worth it.

It was standing confidently in the middle of the room, neon colored bits of paper in the shape of animals clearly seen between the two shades of green they have chosen for the tree. Of course, it wasn't perfect - the position not straight enough, the paint job messy in certain places, the paper folded asymmetrically in some cases - but it was theirs. And it wasn't like they were perfect either.

They shouted at each other often, said things they regretted due to pride and fear. But when they stopped to think, hours after, the end result was the same. They'd come together right there, in the living room, either shouting apologies at each other - often full of curses in Bakugou's case - or showing their remorse through touch alone. And every single time, they'd end up cuddled on the couch, too close for comfort on that tiny piece of furniture, a superhero movie displayed in the background that they rarely paid attention to. Instead, they listened to each other, their own heartbeat, their rhythmic breathing.

They grounded each other. And the tree showed their story well enough.

As they stepped back to look at the construction, pride rang loudly in their hearts.

"Can't wait to put your gift under this fucking mess," said Bakugou, turning towards Izuku, one of his rough hands searching for his.

(The greens of his fingers blended with Izuku's own orange ones, creating a mix of brown that should've been muddy and disgusting but, instead, looked warm and complex.)

Izuku held his hand tighter. "I'm sure mine will be better this year."

God, how they loved to compete over the smallest things. Affection often ended up being the one they played around with the most.

"You're fucking with me. There's no chance you'll win this time." So quietly whispered. So aggressive in wording but so completely different in message.

Izuku smiled, letting his head rest on Bakugou's shoulder. "We'll see."

It wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair how Izuku only needed to look at him once and ask for what he wanted, leaving Bakugou no possibility to deny him anything. It wasn't fair how he could use this weakness anytime, anywhere, and Bakugou would still say yes on every occasion.

The small twist he came up with didn't change reality at all.

The worst part? That Izuku could one day ask for the very last bit of Bakugou's heart that he hadn't owned yet and Bakugou... Bakugou would have no choice but to give it to him - without regrets, without any hesitation.

And he'd still find more to offer.

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shiorita · 6 years ago

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The 100 Season 6

Ok, it's 2 o'clock in the morning but yesterday I watched the season 6 trailer and since then, I can't stop thinking about how much I love this fandom and everything I need to watch this season/to say about the trailer. (I think I only come into tumblr while The 100 is aired. There is no tv show like that to me, sadly).

So... 1. I need Octavia to come back. I want her happy and smiling, having a nice conversation with her brother. I mean, come on, Bellamy. You left her underground for years. I understand that was hard for everyone, but it had to be a nightmare to her. Not only she was forced to live under the floor when she was a child, she "got" her mom floated because she had one day of freedom. And probably she now gets the sacrifices Bellamy and Clarke did for the delinquents because she had to take difficult decisions. (Not like Raven and whatever bullshit she is saying to Clarke). My little O, just come back. You grew up and you now know what is being a leader, so now I need you to try and be a kid again.

2. I also want to see Clake happy. I mean, how much crap people are going to throw to her? Most of the delinquents I loved once, I don't care anymore because of how they treated Clarke. Like, what's wrong with Miller? Bellamy (I think it's Bellamy) was right when he said: "too much for the 100". She did a lot for you all and you never ever say thank you. You just take her for granted and it's not fair.

Actually, I think that on the trailer I can see a moment when Clarke choose Sanctum over "her" people (and that's why Bellamy left and looked back) and during this time, this little time (before Bellamy come back and told her that "it's time to run away") she is happy. And I don't mind what will happen after it, I just need Clarke feeling okay, being happy, having fun with Madi.

3. Murphy. I need Murphy saying big trues to everyone (especially Bellamy towards Clarke) and being the cool uncle with Jordan (and Madi).

4. Bellamy.

5. Clarke being selfish and thinking towards her and Madi. And fuc** off the rest. You don't deserve her.

6. More jokes about Murphy and Clarke being cockroaches.

7. Gaia, Madi and Clarke like a team. I think there is something that is going to happen because they are together on the trailer. But it'd be awesome if there is a nice family moment between Clarke, Madi, Gaia, Indra, and Octavia.

8. Bellamy and Clarke having that drink.

9. An intro as cool as the season 2 one.

10. More bi characters. Love the fact that one of the main characters is bi, but not all of us are like Clarke and we deserve more representation. Thank you very much. (More lgtb+ characters, please).

And that's it. But I didn't finish because while I was writing this, I realized that there are a bunch of things, I would hate to watch, and that I'm kind of pissed with what I saw on the trailer.

1. I do not know what's happening with Raven, but she seemed to have new allies in every season. Suddenly she began to be like besties with Sinclair, she fell in love with Shaw, and she just forgot about Clarke. One moment she is telling Clarke that they need to leave everyone on the planet, and the second one is accusing her to do awful things over and over again. I like how she is always trying to figure out any mechanical issues but I just want her to use her time to invest in her friendships. In season 5 I couldn't care less about her, and she was one of my favorites since her appearance, so there is the thing. If season 6 did not give me quality Raven Reyes time, I want none of them

2. Have to admit it: I don't like most of the ships in this show. Lately, most of them are just popping up out of blue and it's so confusing. There are some exceptions, like Emori (God save them) and Kabby (but I don't think they're going to appear a lot in this season). But the others... uff, Harper, and Monty was a surprise from the beginning. Suddenly Harper loved Monty and he said okay. But they are cute and loyal to their people, so I ate it up. Then, we had Miller and Bryan on the next episode after Lexa was killed and it seemed, at least to me, like "hey, we still have gay characters". Then, a new season began and Bryan was exchanged for Jackson, who hadn't even shared a flirty look with Miller before. So, another couple for whatever reason. And don't let me begin with Bellamy girlfriends. First, we got Gina and we could not even known get better because she was killed by, among other grounders, Echo. I mean, apart of getting Octavia really pissed, why? Or, if you are going to use the 6 years argument then give me some flashbacks. Sell me a story I can buy. At least, she is a regular character and not a character someone come up with in order to pair with another character. I swear you, I'm Bellarke shipper since episode 1, but if you are doing the romantic relationship of my babies like that, I rather have the said-it-platonic-but-not relationship we already have.

3. Don't kill the kids. There a bunch of kids on the trailer and I just remembered Bellamy saying "Clarke, there are kids here" and I can't see a children genocide again.

4. Don't repeat the Jasper story in Jordan. Please, don't make the new humans the enemy after having Jordan being ¿in love? with a woman from this planet. It already happened with Jasper and it destroyed him. He was a ray of sunshine and Monty missed him so much. So, please, even if at the end, they are the enemies, make Clarke and Bellamy respect the life of the girl. You promise Monty and Harper to look after him, so do it. DO. IT.

I think that's all.

I'm wondering how the new Bellarke hug will be this time. Because we already know there is at least a hug for season (which also means, they will be separate. And I'm sure, Bellamy won't see Clark in that gorgeous blue dress).

#The 100 #bellarke #spoilers 6 #trailer #octavia blake #blake siblings #bellamy blake #jordan green #madi griffin #indra kom trikru #gaia kom trikru #sanctum

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decaffeinatedshadow · 6 years ago

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Blackbird pt. 1

Genre/warning tags: Realistic Drama, angst, action (later on in story), mild violence (later on in story), language, references to sex,...can’t think of more stuff because I haven’t finished the full story.

Pairing: Namjoon x Female Reader (Y/N)

Summary: A story about a relationship in which the main character must come to terms with her past in order to be happy in the present. (This was the best I could come up with for what I have written).

Author’s note: This is kind of a story idea I had in my mind for a long time, but I never got around to it because I didn’t know where to begin. I wanted to give it to a short list of good writers I’ve come across, but I thought it would be a burden to their time, so I wrote it myself. This is my first story on Tumblr, there are probably typos, but here goes nothing!

*******************************************************************************************

We met like a fever dream. Like a painless cut, the heat of our love hit the cold organ in my body which had remained buried in permafrost for too long. How was I to know that in a mortal body, permafrost of the heart someday melts. And you are suddenly in the hands of fate. And fate has never been a loving kin to all.

I always thought I was never meant to find love—and should I ever stumble upon it, I should close my heart and move on. The nature of my life had taught me such. My parents were in love once too, and love was the very thing that destroyed them too. My mother loved my father. But she loved her family too. You see, love comes in many different forms. It is a covenant, like the one my mother and father shared. A made-promise of commitment, if you will. But life has deeper commitments. One of those commitments ran deep for my mother. She was born and raised in the fires of familial turmoil. Her father couldn’t keep to one woman. He betrayed my grandmother, leaving her to raise my mother by herself. My mother couldn’t bare the weight of trusting another man after that. She fell a victim to the permafrost. But it melted, and she was at the hands of fate.

For the first time, she loved a man who was different from her father. She opened her heart, flooding her insides with hope; but my father was a man who could not bare the closeness between my mother and my grandmother. Years of being alone had hardened my grandmother’s distrust and cynicism. My mother was a blind follower who could not see the damage her own mother’s inference had caused. My father could only take so much, and it was too late. My father left, leaving behind a daughter and her mother. My grandmother could not bare the weight of her own actions, and so she fell to an ailment of the heart.

I grew up resenting my mother, who stole from me the harbinger of my childhood happiness. From that day on, I swore to never be like my mother.

But fate is not a loving kin, and I was its latest tragedy.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I met him on a lonely road. I’d walked that road too many times with no one by my side. The loneliness was like an evergreen sinkhole in my chest. One that killed me twice a day; once in the morning and once in the evening.

He saved me.

Living alone had never given me the time to be idle on the internet. As it turns out, he was a conqueror of the world! He had won the hearts of many all over the world and had recently staked a claim in America. He was a man with charm, integrity, humbleness and every quality that I wished I could associate with myself. After hearing this story, you will perhaps discredit him. You will perhaps hate him, feel pity for him; but among all your judgements, there is one simple truth that you cannot ignore. It is a truth I will adhere to till this day.

He is a much better person than I.

“Why are you writing like that?” Namjoon mumbles, head on my shoulder.

“I’ve always been a fantasy writer. We have to write like we’re writing an epic myth,” I huff, not living for his teasing.

His eyes scan the last few paragraphs, his breathing heavy and stable. Pulling away, he stands to his full height, and suddenly, the distance is too much for me. There is a flicker of doubt that rushes through me—and it’s not about my writing. It’s about him. His heart, his feelings, his love for me that I cannot lose. Not now—

“It’s our story, isn’t it?” He says, his voice resigned and deep, eyes bright and focused.

I swallow, “Yes.”

“Why?” He asks.

I sigh, “I want her to know. I want her to know so she doesn’t turn out like me. I want her to be better, I want—” I want to scream, the echoes of my past bringing forth a flood of unresolved anguish.

His sun-kissed arms are around me in an instant, his lips on my forehead.

He lays a kiss on my temple, and it’s the best feeling on earth. It feels like home, I think to myself, teary-eyed and silently relishing in the warmth of his lips.

He looks at me, focused on my eyes as if he’s trying to peer into my soul. In a way, he is.

“Who you were is not who she’ll be.” He whispers, consoling me for a moment.

I breathe in shakily, “I’m sorry. I should have—”

He kisses me on the lips, swallowing my words. Pulling away, he smiles, eyes twinkling, “You don’t need to apologize. Not to me. Not for that.”

Clearing his throat, he wisely steps back, “…but you really need to stop writing it like that. It’s not a myth. She’ll never take it seriously if you write it like that.”

“Fine!” I sniff, reigning it all in, “but I am going to embellish the dialogue.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I opened the front door, eyes heavy from fatigue or an emotional cardiac laceration. Maybe both. Exhaling, I close the door, turning and setting the lock in place. Leaving the keys on the small table beside the door, I go straight to the kitchen for water. Nighttime rain and humidity can apparently dehydrate me.

Taking a few gulps, I leave the bottle in the kitchen, making my way upstairs to finally cuddle with my first and soon to be the last love of my life. I frown as I hear the sound of a woman…moaning. My steps quicken as does my heart as tremors travel up and down my body.

This can’t be happening.

He can’t.

I can’t…please, Namjoon. I can’t.

My hand freezes against the door, the cold handle grazing my fingertips. My body shuts down as if somebody just pulled the plug, my bones stuck, unable to complete their last order. Closing my eyes, I inhale, hot tears running down my cold face, heat flaring up as my vocal chords itch to scream. Pushing forward, I turn the handle.

There’s nothing but my heart’s inevitable desolation inside. Our unmade bed, but with a different woman. Naked and lost in the throes of her self-orchestrated passion. His clothes strewn on the very edge of the bed, crumpled in a violent sort of way. Her clothes are all over the floor, tinted from the yellowy lampshade. The sound of the shower abruptly cutting out snaps me back into reality, my vision hazy and unfocused.

I stand there, my eyes lowering, the final tears dripping down my face as my vision refocuses. I don’t look up as the bathroom door opens.

Namjoon pads forward before I hear him shout, “What the fuck?!”

And then, chaos ensues. I hear the fumbling with clothes as they both dress. I hear the angry shouts from Namjoon, and god, he’s so enraged. His sweet lips that breathe fire on stage can barely articulate the rage filled inquiries regarding what the fuck the girl was doing in our room.

Was it even our room anymore?

My feet move on their own accord, retracing the steps back to the living room near the front door, where my tragedy began. It’s a haunting path now, and a part of me worries that I can’t even feel it. I don’t feel anything as I sink down on the couch, more tears streaming down my face as I rest my head in my hands.

There are more shouts, and I catch a glimpse of Namjoon as he violently drags the girl to the front door, hurling barely coherent swears as the door doesn’t open. Undoing the lock, he wrenches the girl out, slamming the door in her face.

“Fuck!” He swears, running his hands through his unkempt hair.

His eyes finally find me, widening as they take in my pitiful appearance. I lean back on the couch, more hot tears burning my eyelids as they linger.

Namjoon rushes to me, reaching out for me, but I rush to my feet, stumbling back to point of surprising the both of us.

“Y/N, no.” He whispers, hand outstretched for a moment before he lowers it.

“How long?” I ask, my voice raspy.

His face contorts into a volatile set of emotions, “I swear, I don’t even know her. Y/N, I-“

“That is bullshit, Joon!” I shout, heaps of barely suppressed rage pouring out of me. It’s unstoppable. Like a violent storm. Maybe because my anger isn’t only at him. I’m angry at myself too.

He’s not like you, Y/N. He’ll never understand you like I do. He’ll leave if he hasn’t already!

You’re wrong about him.

Funny, you said the same thing about your father.

He sighs, “Why do I even bother? You’ve already made up your mind, haven’t you?”

“Why aren’t you even defending yourself?!” I spit, hurt until my mind, heart and speech all disconnect.

Why aren’t you holding me?

“Because I knew you’d react like this!” He spits, his rage from earlier raining down on me.

My eyes widen, eyelids burning from the strain, “How would you react?!” I scream, coughing as my throat runs dry before swallowing, “We haven’t seen each other…for weeks. If I hadn’t walked in today, I wouldn’t have even known about your…filthy fucking lies.” I feel a part of me die as the last word passes through my lips.

You killed me, Joon.

“Y/n, listen, you have no idea what’s happened. We lost the court case. The government has firmly deemed celebrities as public figures and saesangs are part of our workplace territories now. I don’t know how the fuck that girl managed to get past the compound security, but I swear, I have no idea who she is—”

I close my eyes, inhaling painfully, “if you’re done lying to me, you should stop lying to yourself. You knew who she was.”

Why is he lying?

He sighs, running his hand through his hair, stance unyielding, “You’re right…I…know who she is.”

She has become his present.

“I have to go.” I mumble, reaching for my ring finger before I rip the suffocating reminder of our past and future off my finger. Spinning on my heels, I tread carefully to the door, my head pounding as I drop the ring on the small table and grab my keys before opening the same door he threw her out of.

I hear him on the phone as I slowly wade into the inky darkness, a light drizzle slapping my skin.

Why don’t you care, Namjoon?

I reach into my pocket, pulling out my phone and unlocking it. I hover over my mother’s messaging profile for a brief second, trying to see past my anguish.

After years of silence, I type a message: I’m coming home.

#btsangst #bts namjoon #bts angst #namjoon fics #bts reactions #bts scenarios #namjoon scenarios #namjoon #kim namjoon #rap monster #bts rapmon #rap mon bts #rm #bts rm #bts rm imagine #bts rm x reader

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thesorrowfulknight-blog · 6 years ago

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Okaayyyy, so! Apparently tumblr was being a shitforbrains again and didn't post my answers from a few days ago, so I'm gonna combine both get-to-know-me q&a's in one post! Sorry for the wait you guys.

1st set of q's was tagged by @legendarybitch 😘

Relationship status: Single AF

Favourite colours: Blue and green, hands down. I'm partial to he more vibrant blues and more earthy greens; especially hunter green with gold accenting. But it has to be a nice gold, not that yucky orangey-yellow some folks use

Lipstick or chapstick: Chapstiiiick! Anything else I get annoyed and scrape it off with my teeth

3 favourite foods: Oh god, I have to choose? I guess... Any pizza really though I have a weakness for deepdish (especially double cheese smothered in sriracha 😍), suicide hot wings (I want to choke on the fumes and feel like my face is melting), aannnnd a nice tender rare steak. You can't see it but I'm drooling now thx guys

Song stuck in my head: The Next Episode by Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg

Last song I listened to: Zombies by The Cranberries (the cover done by Bad Wolves is fucking bomb too)

Last movie I watched: Galaxy Quest (1999) Worth every goddamn penny

Top 3 tv shows: Tough call, but I think the closest would have to be Hannibal, Final Space, and Voltron: Legendary Defender

Books I'm currently reading: The Rowan by Anne McCaffrey and Burial Rites by Hannah Kent

Last thing I googled: Biomedical Technology

Time: 11:04pm

How many blankets do you sleep in: Primarily just my one big galaxy comforter

Dream trip: Phew, that one's a pretty tall order! About 9/10ths of my clan/extended familar are still in europe (mostly Germany and the Netherlands), so I'd like to be able to visit everyone! I haven't met most of them because of distance but we're all still very tightly knit accross continents. So a dream trip would somehow entail being able to get to visit everyone and possibly even go with my Oma before she can't fly anymore (she hasn't seen her sisters in many years). If somehow this all timed itself right so that I could also attend the Trakehner Verband approvals at Neumünster, I would legitimately weep with joy. My opa and I had always planned to go together as he hadn't been since immigrating to Canada, but now that he's passed I want to go for the both of us. It's a family legacy thing, I suppose. My second choice would be to visit either Spain or Portugal for a riding vacation 😍

Anything you really want: To have a prosperous and fulfilling life brimming with true friendship, laughter, and love.

2nd set of q's tagged by @vecchiasignoras 😙

Name: Kate, though I consider it to be quite intimate so only my immediate family calls me by this name. Everyone else refers to me as Kat

Height: 5'9"

Middle name(s): I have two! Their initials are E.M.

Put your music on shuffle. What are the first four songs that come on?

September by Earth, Wind & Fire

In the Middle by Jimmy Eat World

Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana

Something Like This by The Chainsmokers

Bonus: Become the Beast by Karliene

Grab the book nearest you and turn to page 23. What is on line 17? (I counted them as the beginning/end of dialogue and whole sentences)

"She'll... she'll die! You know as well as I do," and Siglen's words crowded each other out of her mouth, "what happens to the truly Talented in space... I mean, look at how ill David became. Remember how devastated Capella was. To subject an infant... of unknown potential... to such mind-destroying trauma! Why you must be mad, Interior. You cannot! I will not permit it!"

Ever had a song or poem written about you? Not to my knowledge! Though the only thing they might draw inspiration from is how big my feet are lmao

When was the last time you played air guitar? Mmm, a few weeks I think? That Mötley Crüe riff was impossible to resist. As for a real guitar, I think it's going on almost 4 or 5 years now? Jesus time flies.

Who is your celebrity crush? They would have to be Tom Holland and Chris Hemsworth. I definitely have a thing for their personality type 😘

What's a sound you hate + a sound you love?

A sound I hate would 12/10 have to be my mother's voice, even just saying my name. It always sounds accusatory and condescending in the kind of way that's like nails on a chalkboard but under your skin. Also the sound of unexpected people WALKING UP ONTO MY PORCH AND KNOCKING ON THE DOOR INVADING MY SANCTUARY. (I loathe unannounced visitors. Hate hate hate them).

A sound that I love would hands down have to be the ambient noises my horse makes when he's just doing... whatever. When he's doing him-stuff. Slurping up electrolyte water like a messy kid, heaving these great big sighs because life amiright? I especially find his annoyed growling to be hilarious, because he is VERY loud and dramatic about it, but only does it when you ask him to do something relatively low effort that he finds tedious. Like flat work, or walking to and from the barn and paddock. Completely droll and lackluster. But going for a friendly gallop in the back field? You'd think we'd just gotten rallied by fucking Théoden to ride to our deaths at the Pelennor Fields. He makes this hard little growly-grunt when he shifts up into the next gear and then boom, you're gone. Just fucking gone. Then he's a happy springy boi. It isn't like his annoyed growling though; it's different. When he's annoyed it's more like verbal complaining; all in the throat. But when he revs it it's much shorter and takes on a hard edge. Comes up deep from the core. I can't really explain it any better than that. I just fucking love sprinting a 1700lbs war machine in general, now that I've re-learned how the hell to ride it 😂 I'm babbling now

Do you believe in ghosts? I believe in spirits and other things, yes.

How about aliens? We've only discovered and understand, what, 0.4% of the known universe? To not be widely open to and fully accepting of the notion that we are not alone would be pure folly. Even from a mathematical standpoint it would be wildly ridiculous not to. That doesn't mean I have any specific theories or "truths" about it, though. It would just be very stupid of me to be closed-minded.

Besides, if it does turn out to be true it would explain a lot of things. I think my favourite wild theory out there is that Mary, mother of Jesus, was artificially inseminated. Like we do with livestock. If nothing else it's fascinating to ponder the implications.

Do you drive? Yes. Pretty gutsy too, if I say so myself. My mum used to drag race so I guess it's both a hereditary as well as a learned thing.

If so, have you ever crashed? Only once, and that was an actual accident. The conditions were super icy so we were already going 20km below the limit, and I was hanging back, but what happened was the car infront of me hit the car infront of them, and when I slammed on the brakes I just slid about 15-20 feet right into their rear end anyways. Nobody got hurt except for my car; she took the worst of it. The car I hit basically just had to pop the dent back out and it was like I hadn't made contact. Lucky badstards. There were a ton of similar accidents that day so everything got wrapped up pretty quick.

What was the last book you read?

It's been so long since I've completed one, mostly because everything these days sucks ass, so I don't remember what it was. The ones I'm currently reading however are The Rowan by Anne McCaffrey and Burial Rites by Hannah Kent

Do you like the smell of gasoline? Clean, quality gasoline? Yes. Dirty low quality gasoline? No.

What was the last movie you saw?

Galaxy Quest (1999)

Do you have any obsessions right now? Not really, no. I mean, technically all things Bioware and my pony, but those are more of a glowering embers kind of love. Not the raging wildfire kind that overtakes the mind and turns you into a fanatic

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Eeeehhhhhh, yes and no. Like I won't actively hate you cause why tf would I waste the energy, so it's whatever, but I will also always keep you at arm's length so idk

Are you in a relationship? No, nor do I want to be. I'm enjoying just being on my own and allowing myself to grow as a person. I don't do relationships just for the sake of being in one, or because of this ridiculous notion people seem to have that you aren't complete/a whole person without a significant other. I'm only interested in end-game, and I'm not ready to be open for that right now ✌

Bonus: What's an annoying/bad habit that you have? Talking the shit out of everything. And I swear. A lot. More in my head than out loud, though.

#man this got dark #my bad #about me #get to know me #q&a #personal #me #thesorrowfulknight #i apologize for any typos; i've been at this for several hours now

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