#Trying Weird Instagram Life Hacks!

[rageprufrock]

I had to write this down so it would stop being inside of my brain--devil judge stupidity

I have a clinical dx that proves I lack the emotional self regulation to stop myself from doing stupid things and I just really really want to write something funny okay!!!! No clue if this is going anywhere. I have approx 100 ideas right now and can't be held responsible for my actions.

Actually, the whole thing is Elijah's fault, because if she exercised any of the restraint she used on the Korean-speaking internet for her English language shitposting accounts, they wouldn't be in this mess at all.

That said, she'll argue to the death that if her shitty uncle is going to subject her to his sweaty, old man chest and walk around the house after one of his workouts dripping sweat with his workout pants half-hanging off of his ass, she's going to shame him like truth coming out of her Instagram.

Unfortunately, the general reaction to her caption ("god my uncle is so gross") turns out to be a tsunami of absolutely unhinged horny commentary from a community she'd previously believed to be upright, clear-minded young women with promising careers in STEM. There's a run on eggplant emojis. There are so many eyeballs. Prayer hands left and right. People are calling Yohan "daddy" in sixteen languages.

It's funny in an absolutely repulsive way, and here, even Elijah has to admit to culpability, because in retrospect, when someone had commented, "so can your auntie fight?" she absolutely should not have posted a picture of Gaon from his army service, sun bronzed with his arms out, and said, "lol yeah."

Yohan works approximately 18 hours a day with breaks for the gym, to psychologically torture her over dinner, and an hour where Elijah puts on her noise canceling headphones and assiduously does not listen to whatever the fuck is happening down the hall in his bedroom. But he's also the nosiest, most intrusive person on the face of the earth with a squadron of terminally online assistants so it's only a matter of time before he's going to find out he's now internet famous and that there's an AO3 tag for "hot uncle/soldier boy (not The Boys)" and destroys all of her electronic equipment.

Gaon, who hasn't logged into social media in like three years, could feasibly go to his grave not knowing--except that he works in the juvenile court system which means she's not totally surprised when he comes home on Tuesday with a weird look on his face and says:

"Elijah, I think we've been hacked," he says, because he's a genuinely nice person who must have committed some kind of heinous crime in a past life to attract Kangs left and right. "I think someone got into our phones, or our wifi. One of my clients showed me a post today that looks like someone stole a CCTV picture of Yohan, and then posted some old picture from when I was in the army."

Elijah is listening with an active grimace on her face, trying to decide what to say and how to say it, when the SmartHome speaker crackles to life and Yohan's voice echoes out of it, saying:

"Kang Elijah, did you out Gaon and I with your fake instagram."

[alwaysmicado]

i just know if you ever tried to break up with nathan he might *let* you leave, but he would keep tabs on you and stalk you forever

You’re so right, Anon!

Nathan isn't the kind of guy who just lets go.

The man created an AI by combing through the entire internet’s data—your socials are practically child’s play for him. He wouldn’t need to "hack" anything because, let’s be real, he probably already built backdoors into every app you use. You could block him, delete him, deactivate everything, but you know deep down he's watching you through some obscure security protocol you’ve never even heard of.

He wouldn’t stop at just checking in. Oh no, Nathan would analyze every photo, every post. That Instagram story you posted? He’s already run it through some advanced facial recognition software to figure out who you’re with, how often you’re seeing them, and—most importantly—whether they’re a threat to his perceived superiority.

The guy you went to brunch with last weekend? Yeah, Nathan’s already pulled up his LinkedIn, his last five jobs, and his questionable Reddit posts from 2013.

Then there are the subtle things he’d do, just to mess with you.

You’re scrolling through your feed, and suddenly you notice an ad for vodka, his vodka, the exact brand he always drank. Coincidence? Not with Nathan. He’s leaving little breadcrumbs, digital fingerprints, so you know he’s still there. Watching. Waiting.

If you dared to date someone new, it’d only get worse. He'd run psychological profiles on your new flame, digging through their online history like some kind of deranged investigator. And if that poor soul ever posted something innocent like, "Out with my amazing new partner tonight," Nathan’s eyes would narrow. His hand would tighten on his glass. He’d be thinking: Him? Really?

And suddenly, your new guy starts having weird glitches on his phone. Like, weird stuff. Apps crashing. Texts going missing. Maybe one day, all of his favorite playlists are replaced with Nathan’s favorite songs—songs with creepy, passive-aggressive lyrics that sound suspiciously personal.

But of course, no one could ever measure up to Nathan. He’d probably scoff at the very idea. In his mind, he’s not just the ex—you’re the one who made the wrong choice. You can move on, but Nathan? He’s already ten steps ahead of you, digitally weaving himself into the fabric of your life whether you like it or not.

In the end, you wouldn't just be trying to move on from a relationship—you’d be trying to escape a person who doesn’t think “moving on” even applies to him.

– – –

Thank you so much for this ask! 🖤 Nathan Bateman Masterlist

[publiccollectors]

[Apologies to On Kawara] 

Sometime yesterday, March 17, 2024, someone hacked my Facebook account, connected it to their Instagram account, and was promptly caught by Mark Zuckerberg himself probably (such a hero) and my account was disabled. Thus far I have not been able to re-able my account and it is locked. There is nothing to see here (there). Facebook’s instructions don’t work and they haven’t invited me to rejoin the party. I’m trying not to feel hurt. 

So many thoughts have crossed my mind. I could create a new account but—and this is such a weird thing to think about—I would never be able to reconnect with my Facebook friends that are dead to see how their old posts are doing. 

About 14 years of posts are just gone, I guess? I could start a new account (maybe, if I’m allowed) and feel like Rock Hudson in the creepy movie Seconds, starting a whole new life (except with probably a lot of the same friends all over again and the same job and stuff, so maybe that's not a good comparison). 

I made entire publications of my Facebook posts, and the posts of others that I collaborated with. It could be a very productive space for me, and a lot of new friendships sprouted from being on that platform. A lot of old friendships became deeper too. I wrote and posted a lot. It was mostly a very positive place in my experience. Being on Facebook generated a lot of creative opportunities. It has also destroyed a lot of people and countries and attention spans. I'm sure I read fewer books because of it. It has come with a price.

When Facebook started and all of my friends were signing up and talking about it, I waited. I hesitated to join because I was afraid that I would like it too much, and I would lose a lot of time using it. I eventually joined and quickly found out that I was correct. There are many people on that platform that I have not met in person but interact with online all the time, and have only known through email and social media for multiple decades. In many cases I don’t know any other way to get ahold of them. If I choose not to start a new account or can’t get my old one back, I will miss my interactions with those friends. 

Multiple times over the years people have told me that they enjoyed my posts so much that I was the only reason they stayed on Facebook. That’s a lovely compliment (that I mostly don’t believe). Now that my account is gone, I assume they will all leave the platform en masse. 

In the meantime, I suspect that my productivity will soar, at a time when I have multiple creative projects that demand a lot of attention. So for now, I am here and I am still alive. Feel free to message me, or email me at: marc [at] publiccollectors [dot] org. I love you. It’s been facetastic. 

[best-phan-video-poll]

Round 2, wave 8

[bluestrawberry7]

hi! i'm doing a project on the impact and community of tumblr for my media final and was hoping to send out some questions to my mutuals. i would very much appreciate your take on some of these questions.

thank you!

how is tumblr different from other social media platforms?

how has the tumblr community affected you as a person/online presence?

do you feel more inclined to post more personal or private aspects of your life and or opinions on tumblr rather than other apps?

what are your favorite aspects of tumblr?

what are some things that only tumblr bloggers would know/understand?

what would you do if tumblr got shut down?are there certain traditions on tumblr that you think other media sites wouldn't understand? (example being our site wide celebration of the ides of march)

all in all, how has this app changed your perspective on social media, the world, your life, and so on.

hi!! this seems like a cool class

1. it's not addictive and that's a good thing? there was this one post abt it was while back but like tiktok and instagram etc whatever are programmed to hack into your psyche and keep you scrolling as long as possible with their algorithms and dopamine and shit, which is the point of all social media sites in capitalism, like duh to keep you on the app as long as possible. but tumblr sucks at people a social media site and is more just like hanging out with your friends showing posts to each other, so I can open it for a few minutes and scroll or search for things and go down a rabbit hole but there's really no way for me to get absolutely lost in it like other things idk

2. idk that much as a person but it's made me.more comfortable online and stuff bc it's totally anonymous so I can just like what I like and it'll never matter. it was also like my first social media site that I actually interacted with

3. yes and no? I'm not gonna post pictures of myself or like my name or age like I would on Instagram but I also wont worry about people I half-know judging me for reblogging something weird. everyone's just kinda vibing here and doing what they like.

4. the lack of malicious intent by the creators. I know staff has issues it's got ads and shit now and whatever but it definitely feels way more like a fun project that breached containment then some evil capitalistic megacorporation trying to monetize social interaction.

5. the fact that the whole point of the site is to hand around posts like cool rocks and not just like shit for clout. and that there is no such thing as tumblr clout.

6. um. be sad for a bit and move on with my life. it's cool but it's not some incredible force I can't live without I would just like get more active on something less cool

7 lmao goncharov

8. its just a nice little hub of usually cool interesting people I've honestly learned a lot from random textposts by people I'll never meet

good luck on your project!!

[elytrafemme]

rewatching the amazingphil "trying weird instagram life hacks!" video from ~4 years ago and i like how it's a phil constant across his videos that he:

(1) makes a joke about ovulating whenever he needs an egg for something

and (2) doesn't know how the fuck water displacement works

[monriatitans]

Ta-Da! List: Friday, May 10th

The image was made in Canva; check it out at the [referral] link here!

I share my “Ta-Da! List” every day so everyone gets a daily update and I have a reminder of what I’ve accomplished.

To learn more about “Ta-Da! Lists”, and other ADHD life hacks, check out @adhdjesse’s book Extra Focus: The Quick Start Guide to Adult ADHD.

Abbreviations

- O&T: Opinions & Truth Blog - IG: Instagram - BMAC: Buy Me a Coffee - TDL: Ta-Da! List

Ta-Da! List

✧ throughout the day: - kept emails manageable - loaded the dishwasher - filled out today’s TDL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ - Gaming: played “Final Fantasy XIV”; “Hades II” - YouTube: watched: 1. Leeja Miller’s videos “Dark Money In The Supreme Court Is So Much Worse Than You Think”, “Why the US Supreme Court Will Never Be Reformed”, “The Shady Nonprofit Trying to Ruin Our Democracy”, “Why Are Conservatives Obsessed With “Parents’ Rights”?”, “Why the US is Still Segregated”, “The Secret Memo That Ruined Democracy”, “Unions Will Save America.”, “Mass ownership of rental property should be illegal: a rant.”, “Our obsession with true crime is weird”, “Why Do Lawyers Go Bad??”, “Third Party Candidates Won’t Save Us”, “Why People are Freaking Out About the 14th Amendment”, “Why Are Politicians Allowed to Play the Stock Market?”, “The New Ethics Code Is So Much Worse Than You Think”, “Why Are We Obsessed With Reality TV?”, “Socrates Was a Bisexual King Who Hated Democracy, So They Killed Him”, “Our Food Is Killing Us”, “Why Conservatives Hate George Soros”, “Is Libs of TikTok a Terrorist?”, “What happens when murder is an accident?”, “How Is AI Legal??”, “How to Prosecute a Cult | Cult Lawsuits Throughout History”, “REAL LAWYER REACTS TO BILL COSBY REVERSAL”, “Real Lawyer Explains ROE V WADE + GRWM || Lipstick & Litigation”, “Lawyer Explains the Marriage Equality Case and WHY IT’S IN DANGER | Lawyer GRWM”, “The Wickedest Woman in New York: Madame Restell”, “You’re Wrong About Term Limits.”, and started watching “Are Political Nepo Babies Bad For Democracy?” 2. illymation’s videos “Perks of going to the Psych Ward” and “Learning how to cook as an adult” 3. Upper Echelon’s videos “Apples Dystopian Advertising Blunder” and “The ‘BetterHelp’ YouTube Virus is BACK” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧ chores and miscellaneous: - Food: had coffee, Oreos, and cereal for breakfast; had leftover soup for lunch; had leftover Rudy’s for dinner - Chores: checked the mail

—

Well, these are all the updates I had for today! Thank you for reading!

May every decision you make be *in the spirit of fairness* and may the rest of your day *NOT go to $#!7*!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy what I do? Please consider supporting via Buy Me a Coffee (BMAC)! Like what you see and want to know when there’s more? Click here to subscribe for updates and/or hit the Follow button! This post contains affiliate links.

Watch MonriaTitans on Twitch, YouTube, and Rumble! For more about MonriaTitans, click here!

[uzutsagi]

A while ago I tried to amend my problems with a bunch of now deleted posts from a long ass time ago.

I'm now making a SECOND amendment post to the last amendment post that I now deleted, because I finally figured out how to word myself better. Why was it difficult to? I think sometimes, you get me writing some really confusing, hard to understand sentences- and then other times I think I just write in a way that gets the whole ass idea wrong, whether it's the intention of apology, or if I made presumptions and contradictions where I was trying not to. So I'm gonna write about the subject again, directly and as clearly as possible.

I've had a human being, who will not be named, side with another human being who both knew me very well in high school. Something happened where I was being eerily approached by both of them, but this male ex-friend was not as obvious to me as the girl was. He seemed to be interested in making a game, but after a while I started thinking this was a lot of talking and talking where nothing about me was getting friendship out of this and a lot of the energy and positivity I (used to) have to bring was just front loaded onto his table every conversation.

I did say friendship would have been a good positive thing in my life just now, but the thing is, the more I look back on it the more I feel absolutely sure that this guy tried to do some weird "groomer" tactics that he seemed to have pulled on other people, i.e. a girl who had said "he ruined her life" for some reason, and was a weird thing for her say.

Now, I'm not about to say much on the topic of who he is, what he does, dialogue between us, etc....All I can say is that, there seems to be a lot of incontrovertible proof that he's been stalking my art, my profiles, etc. Because when the other friend, the girl, came around, she was saying all sorts of weird shit to me from the get go, and I don't really know why she had really strange timing on a lot of it.

Now don't get me wrong; hacking, not necessarily a thing I could prove, so I wouldn't tell you this, but every time I did something around the house, she had a crazy "skill" of knowing exactly what it was, and sometimes if I was intimating to myself (in other words, confiding aloud) things that I was upset about, she'd then start saying stuff almost to press my buttons on the very exact things I started talking about, the day of, or not long afterwards. One time seems fair enough, but many times, and I started thinking this was getting creepy. So fast forward to a day when she sends me a really insulting message about "how I don't go out and be an adult", and I start getting really clammy vibes from her tone of voice.

Without going on too much, it turns out she was pretending to not know about being in confidance of Zyrol- the guy, and trying to play an idea up like it was worth following up on his art. I didn't want anything to do with Zyrol after our prior conversations already seemed annoying, even less since I started noticing he was manipulative. But the day I blocked Maryam, she decided to skedaddle, while Zyrol's profiles on instagram did the same.

I'm just saying something kind of troubling, here...

Zyrol provably stalks people he wishes to bring back into his life eventually, and they probably don't want to work on a stupid game like that. And it was like hearing two different voices from people who (I honestly only think) want to talk me into being their waifu and (im sure) lower rung "power artist" just very discreetly, and for Maryam, she seemed to be putting bubbles in my sails, but then what I believe was trying to "draw me into" whatever worldview Zyrol might have wanted to shove down my throat. She started off saying how much she admired me and confessing she had no idea how to make friends, to saying put downs like, you don't understand people at all (Zyrol), and that's why you need to leave the house. (So saying like, "you don't know what you're doing, and slowly posit me like I'm the only real example of what to do.") It sounds like what I just said about the grooming and trust imbalance.

My point being is this: what social media teaches me is that just about anyone you know in your life is never automatically trustworthy. One day, they can just choose to shmooze you, then the next they've done things to pull you in line, where you were never asking for that.

Thankfully speaking, the only good part is that I stopped Maryam with her twisted fucking advice before I bothered speaking to her any longer. I never answered her long, drawn out questions about stuff I didn't want to, and I'm glad I didn't force myself to.

Additionally, in a prior post I had mentioned before, I deleted it due to it being very confusing but the basic idea of it was this: they've been doing weird, criminal things, and as it seems, I've talked to them in very harsh tones even tagging up Maryam's u/n and saying she was the R word, all that, which only makes me sad mostly for myself because I can remember how bad all the poison in me felt before I started letting it out and feeling better.

It's almost like the worser the viewpoint in life the more you'll carry so much more toxin, until I started really front loading on so many people about what I was carrying, and to be honest with you I don't even know what to do with it. So I've been chillin' and vibin', whatever, and I've never been that good at coping with attention of any form but now I do a lot better.

It's not who I was years ago. It's all the damage and poison I've been taking in since the year covid started. Maybe you might think this is weird, but nothing good ever came of me when I was 27, either. But I'm about to never speak of that ever again.

[rainbowdelicsunshine]

All 49 of the weird asks!! Go crazy go stupid. Also hi Fozz! 💚

Hello hello my dear friend!! It's been so long since I last spoke to you so I'm really happy you're here! Let's get started!!

1. If you have a lighter, what color is it?

It is currently a bright yellow lighter that I've gotten while I was in Weed, California on my way home from Universal Studios/LA!

2. Pepsi box blue or cheetos bag orange?

Honestly, why not both? Both are really wicked shades of both colors so I think they have a pretty good tie here! (Though I really miss the blue that Pepsi used to be in the 90s-early 2000s)

3. Do you like pasta?

I FRICKIN LOVE PASTA!!!!!!!

Noodles are the absolute best and my favorite kind of pasta if I had to pick, ramen, spaghetti, alfredo, whatever comes with noodles, I'll love it!

I also love macaroni pasta, bow tie pasta, shell pasta, rigatoni pasta, rotini pasta and ravioli pasta as well!

4. How often are you on tumblr?

Since it's pretty much the only form of social media I have (my Artstagram got hacked a little over a year ago and I didn't try getting it back after no response from the staff since I hated Instagram anyhow), I'm pretty on here a lot of the time I'm on my phone if I'm not drawing, watching YouTube, or otherwise having IRL responsibilities and obligations take my attention away from being on Tumblr

According to my phone, the time I spend on here can range around 3-4 hours a day for the past two months, so hopefully that helps answer your question too!

5. Are you only doing this because you’re bored?

I mean,,,,, why else would ask games like these even exist??

Of course I'm doing this cuz I'm bored lol!!

6. What blogs do you mostly interact with?

Im not too good at any naming specific users since I feel I have so many of them pass through here (I'm bad with names and faces at times sorry y'all), but I do know for sure I talk to a lot of mutuals/users that follow me and send things/asks to my inbox a lot of the time I'm online haha!

7. Can you swim?

Yep I sure can my friend!! It's one of my most favorite things to do in the entire world, if there's a body of water anywhere and I have a swimsuit on me (esp rivers, lakes and indoor pools), I will run and be right in the water before you know

I've been able to swim since the age of 3 and started swimming as a whole at 1 year old with my mom and grandma!

Myself and a lot of people I know (including my parents and my grandparents) think I was a mermaid in a past life due to how good I am at swimming since I was super young and because every time I'm swimming and am under the water, I feel like I'm in a way at home!

8. Have you had water today?

I have not!

As controversial and a bad habit as it is, I don't really drink water all that often, I do occasionally drink a cup of water since really feeling up to it

And I also drink water in a water bottle I carry on me for hot weather in case I go walking somewhere!

9. Which do you prefer, cotton candy or funnel cake?

I would have to pick cotton candy for this one, because despite me loving funnel cake and wanting to eat more of it one day, I only ever got to have one once back when I was around 16 when I lived with my bitch aunt at the time and was at the fair with her!

She wouldn't let me have my own funnel cake (since I wanted one with strawberries, but she didn't since she hated sweet things), so she got a sugar and cinnamon one she shared with me instead

(she also didn't get me my own at the time cuz I was around 200 pounds at the time due to taking Abilify at the time as well and kept blaming it on me ""eating too much"")

Also I just really love cotton candy as well, hehe!

10. Have you ever eaten a starfruit?

(inserted my own question for this, hee hee!)

I have not!

But it's on my top list of fruits to try in my life before I die, because it's yellow and I just always wanted to eat a fruit shaped like a star!

11. Bass or drums?

DEFINITELY DRUMS!!

I love bass, but drums are in general easier on my hands and I can actually pick up on it pretty quickly than I could bass

I've messed with them with a friend of my dad that also plays drums and plays bass and everyone thought I was pretty damn good (esp at keeping rhythm) even though I felt like I didn't really know what I was doing lol!

12. Favorite tv commercial?

Already has been answered!

13. Can we be friends?

We already are friends, Beetle my pal!! Of course we can be friends!

14. Do you admire the clouds and color of the sky?

I now have a question for you!

Can you feel my heart?

15. What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you?

Already been answered!

16. A netflix series that’s your favorite?

It would definitely be Kotaro Lives Alone!! It's so heartbreaking and sad, yet so adorable and fun to watch! The characters are all absolutely wonderful and the plot is handled really well (plus the dub is pretty good too)!

17. An earliest obsession you remember?

Definitely animals and animation!!

They've been a huge part of my life ever since I can remember!

18. Do you play video games?

I do on occasions that Im able to have access to them, I used to play lots of video games when I was a child/teen back when I used to have quite a few consoles like the Wii, Xbox 360 and the original Xbox, the Nintendo 3DS, and the PS2

But now since my brother only has a PS4 with barely any games and gaming is now so expensive, I don't really play as many video games as I would like to!

19. Zombies or vampires?

Already been answered!

20. Have you listened to System of a Down?

(also inserted my own question for this here too)

YES!!! Back when I was 13-14, they were one of the bands I listened to the most, so this band has a big place in my heart!

I absolutely love BYOB, Sugar, Chopped Suey, and Hypnotize especially!

21. Your first celebrity crush?

It's really hard for me to tell if I even have celebrity crushes in the first cuz I mainly just crush on the character/s they're acting as if anything

But the closest to a celebrity crush I have is Ryan Reynolds (esp when he was in Van Wilder, holy cow)

He's both funny and he's hot af, he's still hotter than Chris Pratt will ever be!

22. Do you have a collection of cool rocks?

I do somewhat since I have a Royal Crown bag full of them that someone I knew gave to me, other than that I don't really collect rocks so I don't really have much on that topic!

23. Five words that describe you?

AAAAAAA THIS IS HARD AS HELL WHY????

Anyways, here's my best guesses I can pull outta my ass lol!

Ambivert

Easy Going

Misfit Toy

Compassionate (???)

Honest

24. What have you learned about yourself?

That I am very much DRASTICALLY different from how I was when I was 18/19

I definitely feel like I've matured a lot in a short period of time, which feels pretty odd to me ngl!

25. Can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?

I don't think I've ever actually tried doing this before, so I would have to try next time I have cherries lol!

26. Do you believe in aliens?

I do in fact believe in both aliens and the multiverse theory due to the entirety of space and the galaxy being WAY too big to have us and Earth be the only life in this, the odds just aren't plausible for us to be the only ones!

27. Books or films?

I LOVE both books and movies, but if I had to pick it would be movies since I consume those a lot more than books these days!

28. An unusual song that’s your favorite?

Shit Like That - Butthole Surfers

This song is one of Butthole Surfers' most bizarre and weird sounding songs that they have in their later catalog of work, but God is it a lotta fun!

29. The last thing you ate?

As of right now, I have been eating crackers with spicy honey mustard and hot honey with chilli as dipping since my dad had set a plate of them!

30. Do you have a favorite animator(s)?

(inserted my own question here as well)

Gosh, since I have WAYY TOO many animators to list off, I'll just give off a quick tip five!

Don Bluth

Milt Kahl

James Baxter

Ralph Bakski

Retta Scott

31. Have you gotten bit by a dog?

I have a couple of times in my lifetime, just never to the point of injury or anything that can be made into a big deal!

Mostly recently was over a year ago when I was visiting a friend of someone I knew and the person's pitbull had nipped me in the thigh due to not knowing me and being high strung

It only caused a small bruise that healed really quickly, so nothing to worry over!

32. Do you write better with a pen or a pencil?

Definitely a pencil since they come with erasers I can erase my spelling errors and mistakes with!

33. A song that gets stuck in your head?

Cardigan - Don Toliver

I just always really loved the overall vibe the song and the singer go for and it's just really catchy!

34. When you hear “ peace ” what do you think of?

The peace symbol/sign that basically translates to "hippie logo" ngl!

35. A school subject your good with?

English/Literature! They were pretty much always the best grades I've ever had in all my time in cool, getting As most the time!

I think I only had one B for one semester in high school in all that time!

36. How many alarms do you have set?

As of right now, none!

I only ever set an alarm if I need to go somewhere early or at a certain time, so not much need for alarms on a daily basis!

37. Do you shop at thrift stores?

Of course I do!!

In fact, a good chuck of my DVD collection and a Takashi Murakami flower hoodie I got for six bucks from Goodwills I've managed to go to with my mom!

38. What’s the meaning behind your url?

It is a portmanteau of two of my most favorite words/aesthetics: Rainbow and Psychedelic!

39. Is there wise words you live by?

There's actually quite a few I go by so it's really hard to pick, but here's one that comes to mind

I got it from the first episode of Human Resources (yes that spinoff show of Big Mouth shoot me), and it actually really does help me personally when I hear it for possible obstacles I may face in the future and it's this:

"You'll never be ready, but you have to fucking try"!

40. What’s your favorite fast food place?

(inserted my own question here too)

There's quite a few places, but nothing will ever top Carl's Jr for me when it comes to their burgers and fries, God they're the best!

Plus I actually miss the commercials they used to have with Jessica Simpson, they weren't afraid to have beautiful looking women eating delicious food and I kinda miss it since it makes me feel like they and yourself don't need to have the self confidence to have a beautiful body and to still eat the things you love!

41. You gotta have a favorite beatles song, what is it?

It would be a definite tie between Elenore Rigby and Norwegian Wood!

They're both beautiful sounding and well written songs that have their own unique vibes that make them both well known respectfully

Such as Elenore Rigby's dark, brooding, and gothic themes and sounds and Norwegian Wood's ethereal, nature themed, and hippie inspired vibes!

42. Earphones or a speaker?

DEFINITELY HEADPHONES BY A LONGSHOT!!

I want to keep what I'm watching/listening to to myself unless I feel like showing something to someone and I hate disturbing other people with whatever sounds are coming out of my phone

That's just rude!

43. What do you remember from your childhood?

I think I remember about,,,,,, 30%-40% of my childhood due to many many key factors and appointments such as autism-driven (is that the word??) childhood amnesia and much more

The most that I can remember are my years in elementary school and middle school (if you discount my teenage years from around 15-17) and it's all pretty scattered and comes to me randomly on random days piece by piece so it can take YEARS for me to properly recall past memories from my childhood!

44. Do you collect anything?

I have answered this question before on this post here!

45. Favorite tea?

I usually really love me my sweet/fruity teas like Constant Comment and berry flavored teas

But a current favorite of mine that I used to replace coffee is Morning Thunder Black Tea

Basically it's if they turned coffee into tea, its really good with sugar and creamer!

46. A christmas song you secretly like?

I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas - Gayla Peevey

I know it's a super old, ridiculous, and silly song that's sung by a literal little girl!

But I think it has a cute charm to it and I have really good memories of it playing over the speakers at a Christmas Party that friends of my Dad's were throwing in the fire station in the super small highway-township when I was around 13 (plus that party had an amazing fondue and chocolate fountain courtesy of my Dad's friends who were throwing the party)!

47. Book stores or record stores?

Book stores since I actually have a book collection and I go to book stores on the occasions I'm able to find them!

Plus I've just been to book stores more so far since I've only ever been to one record store!

48. How weird were these questions?

These have actually been really fun and of substance, so I don't find them weird at all!

The only weird part is I've already answered questions on here before lolol XD

49. What scents do you like?

Mostly sweet smells (like cotton candy, birthday cake, marshmallows), fruity scents (strawberries, apples, berries), savory scents (fried foods like fried chicken, pizza, steak), herbal/ scents (sage, cloves, basil), "pungent" smells (garlic, onions, horseradish), and burning wood that smells like a BBQ going on!

And many, many, many more!

50. Is there a doctor in the house?

(last question inserted by me lol)

Nah, it's just me, Fozz, your favorite misfit toy!

------------------------------------------------------

Thank you soso very very much for sending EVERY. SINGLE. ASK from this ask game Beetle (added a 50th one for ya since that was the actual amount)! It took a lot of time and effort, but I hope it was all worth it!

I hope you have a blast reading through this despite how long it is, have an amazing evening my good good amazing bestest friend!!

[kattysjunkshop]

hello earthlings, bloggers and lurkers,

i’m not really sure if this is going to be a long winded post or what but i want to get it out of the way so.... here we go... i’m also a space cadet and bad at articulating and run on sentences and yadadaaaa yaddaaaaa yaddaa basically this is for me only but if you want to read it i trust you.

for years i’ve tried to keep a journal, but i’m simply too disorganized and my wrists are too limp to continue writing after two pages. I’m a digital girl - I was there for the beginning of dial up and unsupervised web surfing at a young age. It benefitted me in some ways like how to navigate photoshop by grade 6 bc of this Hilary Duff message board I frequented. I also figured out how to hack Runescape, Webkinz, Club Penguin and Habbo Hotel all around the same time. I’m not sure how beneficial that is to me now, but it was a pretty sick (and also kind of evil) feeling  mwhagaaggahahahaha . ANYWAY this is all to kind of say that I think I need to keep some sort of log via keyboard typing bc I have so many journals half filled with ideas, scribbles, sad poems, happy moments, horrible recounts and encounters and to-do lists with nothing crossed off. and I’m honestly over it. I don’t wanna keep track anymore (read “I haven’t been keeping track”). Oh yeah, also the past couple years my memory has been fucked. Like, I think trauma is really catching up to me and I can barely remember my childhood/teen years. Slowly things are beginning to unearth and a lot of the time it comes from listening to music and movies I used to really like. Some hard and frustrating things happen to lil teen me and I really felt numb and just tried to forget, or store away everything that was fucking with me. Processing isn’t easy but it’s necessary lol who knew. I feel like my interests and ideas and creations are all kind of rooted in this naivety of my adolescences in way of reclamation. I feel like I’ve only started really figuring out who I am and what I like within the past few years. Some people have it figured out in grade 8. I’m fucking envious, but everyone’s on their own path and hey, I’m getting there. It’s hard being a kid and feeling like fitting in is what you’re supposed to do. I feel like it’s stuck with me for a long time. Maybe I hide it but I’m so self conscious and anxious it makes me sick. Again, another thing I’m over. Instagram doesn’t help. I want to be on good terms and have a healthy relationship, but that dopamine is so potent. It’s weird having an audience and I’m just a regular person. I hate to sound ego inflated bc that’s not what I’m trying to get to but I actually feel fucked having like, 1000 followers looking at everything I do. I feel judged. Maybe not even judged ALL the time, but you know you post one thing and people think they know your whole life story. I wanna share, but I don’t really feel good being vulnerable in a space like that. It’s like a weird high school year book with something cooler and better than me at everything as the class president every day. I know it doesn’t have to be like that - but it really can feel that way. I also don’t want to fully discredit the platform. It’s incredible to be able to connect with millions of different people on this type of network. It’s opened so many horizons for so many people, but aahhhh... idunno, i feel like you get it. You must get it right. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. 

SEPARATING THE ART FROM THE ARTIST FROM THEIR INSTAGRAM PROFILE

So, I’m creating this Tumblr and listening to Lana fuckin del Rey all week. Watching teen movies for style inspo and creating soft cuddly weird little stuffed animals to hold when things get tough. I’m trying to get back to my roots! I want to eventually code my own website like the ones that I used to make on Piczo and I want to fuck around and I want to blog and I hope no one even reads this I just wanna puke words and have them make no sense to anyone but me really. 

So this page will be for my thoughts and projects I just want a space to keep track of everything. I know some people are really good at making moves in silence but lmao I need to post my progress otherwise I’ll forget all about it or grow tired. It’s basically to keep myself accountable. I hope a few of you do come back to Tumblr and maybe some sort of space curated towards our work and feelings has some room to grow. Anyway i’m tired of writing now I’ll maybe edit this later I have no followers rn so not like anyone is gunna read this bye.

xo DINA

ALSO INSTA SUCKS ASS BC SO MANY PEOPLE CALL ME KATTY WHICH IS FINE IS WHAT EVER BUT MY NAME IS DINA (DEENA) NOT KATTY(KATTY) SOME PEOPLE EVEN CALL ME KATIE LIKE MAN. FUCK YOU INSTAGRAM. 

honestly it’s fine but, you know... ????? 

[feelingofcontent]

DNP Rewatch: Trying Weird Instagram Life Hacks!

Date video was published: 04/20/2019 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 392

The concept/setup for this video is similar to his previous video with the “Phil tries random things” theme.

0:00 - at least he decided to use a table this time. I love that the two things he brought from his background were the candle holder and the giant houseplant, haha

0:17 - this merch got released just a couple days before he posted this video. I liked this round of Phil merch

0:48 - clips from the Instagram explore video which was from over a year before this

0:54 - that is too much Instagram time, yikes

0:55 - I appreciate Phil leaving his word flubs in rather than cutting them all out and making it perfect

1:13 - a necessary warning

1:27 - “very satisfying to squeeze” ...alrighty then

1:32 - wtf Phil. “why do I do anything?” you tell us Phli! 😂

1:43 - I used to hate vinegar on things or “salt and vinegar” flavored things, and now I love it

1:54 - whoops...Phil needed a physics lesson

2:06 - just singing to himself; I love it

2:18 - glasses Phil! why did he wait for 8 days? haha. it’s not clear from what he was posting at that time. and he is going to regret waiting that long...

2:33 - “what a mucky pup” is that a northern thing?

2:48 - well he’s hopeful...

3:07 - regrets! 8 days is a lot different than 24 hours

3:29 - Phil looks so good in both the black and the yellow. and the bright blue

3:46 - Phil’s replacements for swears are great

3:53 - there was definitely a jump cut in that video

4:10 - he really upped the annotations in early 2019 and it’s one of my favorite Phil things to this day

4:30 - yeah, that sound is not pleasant

4:32 - filmmaking professional there 😂

4:48 - this was never going to work

5:07 - ugh, no thanks. little bits of foil everywhere

5:45 - ...no. also, is what is in pencils these days actually lead? I thought it was graphite

6:20 - love that you can see in the reflection that he is using TATINOF cubes as various stands/to hold things on the table, lol

6:25 - yeah, I would be turning off the microwave immediately 😨

6:40 - nope nope nopeity nope

6:53 - this might be the worst one he tried in this video

7:11 - “undecided” sure

7:34 - wasn’t quite sure what he was going to replace “fuck” with there...

7:51 - I love that he’s just sitting there saying these things that he then put the other footage over 😂

8:14 - again with the 8 days

8:23 - he’s so excited about this though

8:40 - that is a good point

9:14 - a hand-held kitchen blow torch is not going to be hot enough to do anything

9:24 - “that’s the question” 😂

9:27 - Phil on the beach! he must have been pre-prepared for this video. I think maybe this is from the beach in Brighton, because DNP visited PJ and Sophie there earlier in April

9:46 - he’s moved the fire extinguisher closer, haha

10:00 - danger!

10:16 - Phil does not have a lot of patience although that would not have helped in this case

10:57 - I’m really glad Phil doesn’t believe most of these or I would be concerned for him

11:24 - an improvement

12:05 - I love when you can tell that Phil knows a video is slightly ridiculous

12:20 - great double-sign-off there!

This video is so chaotic. Though as usual, that makes for an entertaining Phil video, haha. I’m not sure I would call most of these things “life hacks” though...who would believe most of them would actually work?! Or be helpful for anything if they did?

There was a whole month between Phil’s last video and this one. At the end of March, Phil visited his parents (1, 2, 3) and Dan briefly emerged from his cave to post a couple of selfies (1, 2). Even Phil had pulled back from posting on social media as much at this point.

[nakedbooth]

phil in blue [4/?]

blue is the colour of the sky and sea. it is often associated with depth and stability. it symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven.

[nohshinwoos]

top phil videos 2019 as voted by you

14.  Trying Weird Instagram Life Hacks!  (11.9%)

[best-phan-video-poll]

Round 1, wave 8

[another-stark-sub]

“Are you in love with him?” - Tony Stark Imagine

Notes: I wrote and editted this in two hours instead of going over my notes. Was gonna be spicy fluffy but it just turned into fluffy, and one of the lines/paragraphs (smth like that i dont remember how long that segment was) is based on/inspired by a fanfic on ao3 I bookmarked. I think it’s debt-free, but I could be wrong.  Anyway, I hope you enjoy, and I’m so sorry im not on here more oftennnnn

- - -

“Of course I am. He’s Tony Stark.” You sighed, a weight finally lifted off your chest. “Who isn’t in love with him?”

Bruce blinked a few times, the confusion evident on his face. “Then, why don’t you tell him?”

You scoffed. These geniuses think they know everything, but they couldn’t see what was glaringly obvious to you. “He’s Tony Stark.”

The perplexed expression didn’t disappear from your friend’s expression. So, you explained further, “It’s already a privilege, beyond that really, to be talking to you, to any Avenger. To work with any of you is an honor, and to be friends with you” -you laughed- “it shouldn’t even be possible for someone like me.”

“Don’t say that. You’re amazing, too.” 

You tried to find any tick, any clue that he was lying. But Bruce seemed to really believe this. “I know I’m amazing.” You shrugged. “I’m great. I love and I care deeply, and I have a stable job. I have a place for myself, and I take care of myself.” You clicked your tongue. “However, you all, all  you Avengers… Forget out of my league, more like off planet.

“And Tony? He said it himself. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Add superhero, figurehead, public figure, ex-CEO, and savior of the universe. Bruce, I have confidence in myself, but Tony is something else entirely. No one is worthy of him or his affections unless they’re a god or another Avenger.”

It was hard to keep up with the statistical analysis you were trying to run. The literal one on your hologram and the one keeping your view of Tony in check. So, defeated, you sighed and leaned back in your chair. 

Bruce closed his own work and stood across the lab bench. “Weirdly enough, I’m sure none of us Avengers think that way.” After a few taps of his pen against his palm, he added, “Aren’t there fans making posts about you, too? Tony showed me the, uh, Instagram videos.”

You laughed. “Fan edits don’t make an Avenger. Saving the world does.”

He shrugged. “You help us save the world.”

“From inside Avengers Tower on a computer.” You took a deep breath. “Look, Bruce, I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But, I’m not telling him.” You shrugged and brought your statistical analysis back up.

You knew your own worth. You were worthy of an amazing partner and person. Tony Stark, though, was easy beyond that. You had accepted it soon after you realized your own feelings, and while they haven’t dwindled, you knew it was for the best. 

~ - ~

Tony had never resorted to this before. It was never a question of his ability to code. In the past, it was because he didn’t need a program or an AI to do it for him. He could always tell if someone was into him. He knew when Pepper was into him. The moment Rhodey gazed at him back in their MIT days. Every single reporter and heiress and model he slept with, he knew when their thoughts turned sexual or romantic. 

You, though. With you, he couldn’t fucking tell, and he knew it was because of his own feelings. Tony felt intensely for people before. Pepper, Rhodey, that one reporter all those years ago. However, with you, it wasn’t just that fluttery feeling in his gut or the immediate smile he can’t seem to stop when he sees you. It was the comfort he felt when he heard your voice or the softness he could feel in his heart when he saw a picture of you. 

It was like his entire life was full of panic, never resting, never stopping. But when you entered his life with a gentle smile and a quick wit, it felt like he could finally breathe. 

It was addicting. 

“Sir, I have the calculations.”

“Hit me.”

“Speech diagnostics of you and of Ms. (Y/l/n) are similar. Whenever you speak of her, 79.4% is positive and 18.8% is neutral. Ms. (Y/l/n) has  78.9% positive and 17.2% neutral dialogue regarding you. When she speaks of you, her heartrate increases by 4.6%, and similarly, yours increases by 4.1%. When speaking to each other, heartrate initially increases by 7%.”

Tony nodded. “How does this compare to other Avengers? I gush about Banner like a teenager.”

“Well, sir, while you and Ms. (Y/l/n) have high positive dialogue about other Avengers, all of them have at least a 10% decrease compared to each other. And heartrate varies depending on the topic of conversation.”

Tony snapped his fingers. “Am I excluding all non-super friends? Include any agents, co-workers. Pep isn’t an Avenger after all.”

Friday took two seconds and responded. “You and Ms. (Y/l/n) have a significant difference in speech diagnostics when talking about or to each other compared to any other Avenger, co-worker, and friend.”

When Tony remained quiet, Friday added, “Do you want me to repeat the results?”

“You don’t need to, Friday.”

“But you’re not doing anything with the new information. Would you like me to save these findings?”

“Friday,” Tony warned. 

There was silence as the love-wrecked scientist pressed his fist between his brows. Data and cold hard facts said yes, but was it right?

“Sir?”

“Yes, Fri?”

“Would you like me to play examples for you?”

He blinked. “Examples?”

“Yes. Of you and her talking about each other positively.”

It was an invasion of privacy. Tony shouldn’t. 

“Play examples.”

Before his rational mind could tell Friday no. 

“Are you in love with him?”

Tony’s eyes widened. This was too private. It might not even be about him.”Friday-”

“Of course I am.”

“-stop playback.”

“He’s Tony Sta-”

“Playback stopped.”

Tony scrambled. “What? No, wait, go back. Play it.” Screw rational. You knew he was a narcissist. You wouldn’t expect him to hear that and stop. 

“He’s Tony Stark. Who isn’t in love with him?”

“Then, why don’t you tell him?”

“... He’s Tony Stark.”

Tony started to fiddle with something on his desk. “What does that mean?”

Friday answered, “Dr. Banner asked her if she loved you, and she said yes. This means that she’s in love with you.”

Why did he program Friday like this? “I know that. I mean, those two lines. Why does me being Tony Stark stop her from saying something?” Was it the attention? Did you want some sort of normal life away from cameras and international gossip? Maybe it was the Avenging. Having a partner who was always out risking death wasn’t ideal. 

Sure, you could be in love with him. But you couldn’t be with him. 

“Maybe you should ask her.”

There were celebrities who were able to live normal lives. Some paid to have prosthetics for going outside of moved to a remote country to get out of the spotlight. He thrived off attention, but he could give that up. Avenging, he couldn’t give that up, but maybe he could cut back. Take a mission a month instead of one a week. Or maybe take more digital missions. He wasn’t just Iron Man after all. He was a genius, could hack into the Pentagon if he really wanted to. 

“Yeah,” he said. “Maybe I could talk to her.”

~ - ~

The moment you put your bag down on your lab table, Tony said, “You’re gonna be mad.”

You narrowed your brows. “What did you do?” You pressed your palm to your chest. “Oh my god, Peter overwrote my data, didn’t he? Ugh, I know he said he’s great at managing holograms, but really, Tone, you should’ve given him a tutorial before giving him access.” You brought up your holograms to check your data and analysis. 

“That’s not it.” Tony stood next to you as you looked through your files. “I did something that invaded your privacy.”

You tilted your head. Closing the holograms, you took a deep breath and slowly asked, “How?”

Tony flashed an embarrassed grin before sighing. “You’re gonna be shocked, too, so prepare yourself.”

You did not know where this was going at all. What horrible thing could Tony have done? Steeling yourself, you took a deep breath and nodded at him to continue. 

Tony cleared his throat. “Usually, I can tell when someone has feelings for me. People are obvious about it, but you? You aren’t. So, I had Friday do some analysis on our speech patterns. Me, being in love with you, was one of my controls. You and your dialogue regarding me was the main variable. 

“Long story short, I accessed some audio of you and Bruce talking, and you said that you loved me but could never tell me.” He glanced at you. “So that’s why I need to apologize.” 

Your expression didn’t change. No, that wasn’t it. You, at first, looked confused. Now, there was just nothing. No expression. No wrinkled brow in anger of flushed cheeks in embarrassment. Nothing. 

Tony blinked. “You can shout at me now. If you were confused about when to shout at me.”

You licked your lips before taking a deep breath. “Ok, that was a lot.” You pursed your lips then opened it. But, you couldn’t really think of anything to say. You didn’t even know how to feel. “So you know that I” -you pointed at yourself and then at him- “and that I didn’t wanna tell you.” You shook your head. “Wait, do you know why I didn’t want to tell you?”

A broken scoff left Tony’s lips. “Yeah. I’m a mess.”

It was your turn to scoff. “Wait, you’re a mess? That’s why you think I don’t want to tell you?”

“Among other reasons?”

Other reasons? 

You crossed your arms. “Ok, what other reasons?”

Tony looked offended. Still, he listed, “I’m surrounded by cameras, and everyone wants some privacy. Can’t get it if you’re with me. Then, there’s the Iron Man of it all. I went into a wormhole with a nuke. That was also all over the news. Then, there’s the whole daddy issues thing. I’m working on it, but it takes a while-”

He rambled on and on, listing reason after reason, and with each one, you felt tears well up in your eyes. It was a weird mix of heartbreaking, confusing, and enraging. The emotions built up slowly with each word that left his mouth, overwhelming you to the point that you couldn’t even say how it happened. 

But, as Tony paced and talked so horribly about himself, you somehow ended up in front of him with your hands on his cheeks. 

You only realized it when Tony stopped talking and when his breath touched your lips. “What?” he asked. 

You didn’t answer. You kissed him instead. 

It was a hard press of  your lips against his. It was short, and it wasn’t much. 

But by the way Tony gripped the back of your neck and pulled you back for another kiss, you’d think it was his first kiss. You knew it wasn’t. Not just because you knew he had kissed all sorts of people before you, but because he somehow knew how to make you gasp and melt into him. 

While one hand kept you steady, the other trailed down your back and pulled you closer to him. His lips moved fluidly against yours, pushing and pulling, and everytime he moved back, you chased his lips to continue the kiss, because the softness, the passion, the fact it was finally happening, was all too good. You didn’t want it to stop.

Your hands started to move. For someone so rich, his t-shirt was rough when you twisted it between your fingers and pulled it to you. Slowly, you trailed your fingers along the side of his neck. You rubbed your thumb along his pulse point, a reminder that this was indeed real. You were kissing Tony Stark, and- He was pulling away again.

Desperate, you leaned forward, reached around to hold onto his shoulder, and kissed the side of his neck. 

He let out a breathy laugh, and before you could suck on his skin, his stubble scratched your cheek. 

You looked up at him and giggled when his nose bumped into yours. When your giggles turned into a smile, he kissed you again, a soft and short kiss, before leaning his forehead against yours. 

His thumbs rubbed circles into your waist as you lightly scratched the back of his neck. He didn’t say anything. In fact, he seemed busy gazing at you.

“Speechless, Stark?” you teased. 

He laughed. For a few seconds, he just gazed at you, seeming to prove your point. Tony’s hand began to wander, from stroking your cheek to pushing back your hair. “More confused.”

Remembering why you interrupted him, you brought your hands to his cheeks again and held him there so he couldn’t look away from you. “You are amazing, Tony. That’s the reason I didn’t want to tell you.” You shrugged. “You’re too good for me.”

His fidgeting stopped. “Well, that’s not true.”

“Tony, you’re an Avenger.”

“Technically, you are also an Avenger.”

“You’re a genius.”

“Who can’t cook scrambled eggs.”

“You literally saved the universe.”

“After producing weapons of mass destruction for decades.”

You glared at him. 

He glared back. Then, he fought back. “I don’t plan on retiring.”

“Wouldn’t want you to.”

“I have severe PTSD, anxiety, maybe ADHD, all mixed with trauma galore.”

“And I will learn to help you.”

“I couldn’t give you a normal life.”

“I’d rather have you anyway.”

He opened his mouth, but you instead told him, “I’d rather have you than anything. As long as, well, for as long as  you’ll have me.”

He raised his eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

“Positive.”

Tony shook his head with a smile. “Cause, I’d rather have you for, well, how does til you get tired of me sound?”

You laughed. “Won’t happen. But, sure.” You kissed him again.You would’ve kept going, but there was something to settle first.  “By the way, Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Is Friday recording right now?”

“Friday records everything. It’s in the contract.”

Friday added, “I record everything that happens in the tower.”

“Ok.” You could work with that. “I’ll forgive you for the invasion of privacy.”

Tony beamed, and you couldn’t help your own smile when he did. Still, you continued, “On one condition.” Your own smile turned devious. “I want evidence that Star Spangled Banner took my ice cream.”

Tony burst out laughing. He kissed you again, a deep kiss, and when he was done, he mumbled, “God, I love you,” against your lips.

[the-bugs-under-ur-skin]

Yandere Anon and Cole HCs - Blush Blush

why does my inbox look so weird now :,( thanks for the requests, i’m glad you enjoy my work! i’m always accepting requests! also, your english is great!

[yandere Anon x reader]

-stopp okay so i have this big headcanon for him

-so usually when there are yanderes are germaphobes (like Anon is), they tend to see everyone as disgusting and untouchable

-the only person they can stand is their darling, for whatever reason they see them as pure and clean

-so i can just imagine Anon distancing himself from everyone and thinking that humanity is absolutely putrid and then he finds you

-you’re the only person he’ll let stand so close to him, the only person he doesn’t mind breathing the same air as

-he wouldn’t let you get dirty, either

-he’s constantly cleaning your clothes, reminding you to bathe, he keeps hand sanitizer everywhere just to maintain your cleanliness

-he honestly hates himself for becoming some stupid cliché

-because of this, he’s a little bitter towards you at first but nothing major since he gets over it and just decides to give in

-but his bitter attitude is just ignoring and a few rude comments (that he’ll end up apologizing for) so it’s honestly not that bad

-and once he’s over all of that, the pining stage begins

-Anon is already comically good with hacking and addicted to the internet, and he’s also already had a line about stalking your instagram page

-so there’s definitely going to be a lot of cyberstalking when the addiction starts

-and honestly, he’ll probably never stop cyberstalking

-every account of yours is getting found, no matter how old or irrelevant they are

-he’ll use the info for many things, but mostly it’s to make sure you’re happy

-like, he’d totally hack into your etsy account just to decide what the perfect gift for you is

-he’ll also make sure you’re safe, dedicating two or three monitors to you

-one would be cam footage around you’re house; nowhere too personal but enough to make sure you aren’t getting attacked

-Anon could absolutely ruin someone’s life, but he wouldn’t kill someone

-not just because he has no muscle mass, but also because he is disgusted by the thought of getting any blood on him

-sure, there are less messy ways of killing someone, but it just isn’t satisfying

-he loves that feeling of remembering how he genuinely ruined some disgusting nobody’s life

-he doesn’t really make an effort to hide his yandere tendencies 

-Anon has no problem telling you how he sees the world, mostly because he just wants you to understand that you’re an amazing exception to humanity

-his teasing might get to be a little much, but know that he only does it because he thinks of you as almost godly, still baffled by your existence

-and because of this he’ll get insecure and try to reassert the fact that you’re completely ordinary

-but it doesn’t work, mostly because you still exsist

-so he tries to just play off the teasing, never directly apologizing for it

-but know that he doesn’t dislike you, far from it!

-he loves you to death, or at least that’s the plan

[yandere? Cole x reader]

-it’s no secret that Cole’s already a yandere 

-but i still got a few thoughts about this man

-first of all, Cole’s obviously a stalker

-i imagine that he initially met you, and he felt absolutely captivated by you for whatever reason

-then, after that, he’d stalk you for awhile

-the amount of time depends on what kind of person you are, but he does do a lot of observing

-after he’s sure of the obsession, he’ll start trying to insert himself in your life

-he’s also the type to have like thousands of photos of you and keep them on his wall

-he’s great at blending in, you probably wouldn’t know about his stalking if he doesn’t basically tell you about it

-he’d also continue stalking you after you’re in a romantic relationship

-he doesn’t want you leaving him, so he’ll try to keep his creepy behavior too a minimum

-emphasis on try because Cole absolutely sucks at it

-he basically tells you everyday that he’s obsessed with you and wants to murder everyone you know 

-but oh well, you couldn’t get rid of this man no matter how hard you tried

-Cole’s also a very jealous person

-he isn’t crazy, he knows that you’re going to talk to other people besides him

-he just doesn’t want you to do that

-it would not matter who you’re talking to or what the reason is, he’s always very bitter over it

-he’ll always try his best to convince you that you don’t need to talk to anyone and that he can handle everything for you

-i’m sure y’all already know this, but he isn’t scared to kill

-his reasons for it is mostly very petty

-sure, he’ll kill your admirers or significant others, but there’s just so much more

-this is kind of where his jealousy and protectiveness kicks in

-if someone accidentally pushes you; dead

-if someone asked to hang out with you; dead

-they had to keep all the other guys in the game because they were the main characters, but you cannot convince me that in a more realistic setting all of those guys would be dead

-one smaller headcanon i have is that Cole always wants his hands on you

-most of the time he won’t mention it and will just assume that he can do it

-but whenever he’s really vulnerable he’ll get the need to ask you instead of just doing it

-sure, he’ll hold onto your hands or arms when asking, but he won’t embrace you unless you give him permission

-besides that, he’ll always be holding your hand or having his arm around you

-it makes him feel better and more important than your “friends”

-Cole’s completely devoted to you and won’t let you go because of it

-his infatuation, his love, has no end

-the only way to get rid of him is to kill him, and good luck with that!

-”Here's to love. To romance. To what it means to be forever.”