#True worth is found in persistence.

[serene-ly]

“If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. ... Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”

― Bob Marley, Bob Marley: Guitar Chord Songbook

[iceunhie]

— PUSH AND PULL : honkai star rail.

premise. as someone who's always believed in the term “try and try again,” (peak delusion, you know) rooting yourself in their heart has always been your goal, no matter the cold rejections and curt declines you receive. however, even you have your limits; perhaps this little push and pull you two have going isn't worth your time after all... but what happens then, if the chaser becomes the chased? (oh, how the turns have tabled.)

...or, when you play hard to get with them.

— ft. sunday, aventurine, jing yuan.

warnings: angst n fluff, messy messy, these boys are in love but are wayyy too chicken to admit they actually adore you, genderless reader.

a/n. inspired by @/xiaowhore's playing hard to get headcanons! my holy trinity 😇 n MY FAVES RAHHH

NEXT : BACK TO MASTERLIST || ASKBOX

SUNDAY is perplexed. very much aware of his qualities which enlists him as one of the finer (finest) bachelors of Penacony (he was the Robin's one and only blood, and was also the head of one of the main guiding forces of the Family, after all), sunday isn't sure he's ever come across someone as.... tenacious as you.

foolish, to be more precise, for he cannot for the life of him comprehend exactly why you are the way you are with... him.

no matter his respectful declines of your invitations to promenade around Penacony (re: going on dates), you really didn't know how to leave him be. though he hasn't exactly said he hated it, sunday was, admittedly, rather... affronted. your gifts, in particular, were your loud declarations of your affection (that make his wings flutter more rapidly than he'd like); but sunday was rather inconvenienced at the whole thing.

nonetheless, he does still accept them. reluctantly, mind you. not because he was fond of your constant shower of affections, which seemed so permanent that he began to look forward to them got used to it. to your credit, your gifts were very much to his tastes. (Robin once gave him a rather soul-searching look when he found himself wearing the gloves you gifted, light blue and white in color. he still uses it, just not when his sister is in the vicinity.)

in fact, perhaps he may have gotten too comfortable. little by little, your constant intrusions on his time have thawed a way to his heart; making sunday look forward to your jovial greetings and grandeur elaborations on your day, and such a thing makes him feel scared sunday needed to nip this in the bud, and fast.

so he confronts you, abruptly one day as you give him his newest gift—a jewelry box for his earrings. (surely, the rapid thumping of his heart was due to his irritation at your constant persistence, right?) “i'm afraid this can no longer continue. i am flattered by your... fancy for me, but i do not wish to enter a relationship in the near future.”

the utter silence that follows is torture to him—but he endures. he tries not to look at the momentary flash of hurt on your face. you seemed to quickly recover, though. giving him a simple smile (it didn't reach your eyes. it shocks him how his chest ached at the realization) and shaking your head when he returns the gift to you.

“i understand, mr. sunday.” the formal usage of his name instead of your chipper ‘sunday!’ makes his face twitch. “but please, keep the gift. think of this as my last declaration. it... would do me a great comfort, just this last time, if you accepted it instead.”

(if he had grabbed your hand at that moment as you left for the door, would he regret it?)

when you leave, sunday thought it would put the conflicting feelings in his mind at ease—but it doesn't. a week and two days counting, true to your word, sunday receives no flagrant gifts, nor little messages on his phone that tell him to take care of himself, to eat, and to make sure to remember to check up on Robin.

instead, contrary to the feeling of ease, regret follows him instead.

it's at two weeks and five days counting when sunday could no longer stand the sight of papers that stacked atop his desk and the image of you leaving for the door replaying in his head far too many times for him to count, that he contacts Robin.

and she, once hearing about the situation, gives him a very, very enlightening talk. (of course, not without giving her brother a lecture of the lifetime. part of him felt shame to know that his sister knew of his... turbulent love life, but she was the only one who he could trust, anyway).

“absence makes the heart grow fonder,” she says. “but in your case, brother, your heart has already decided it's course, right?”

sunday eyes the smooth velvet of the jewelry box you gifted, ruminating. his earrings lie there, carefully pristine and beautiful, gold and silver intertwined. he has worn them without fail, clean and spotless. (of course it was. such a design so intricate was only chosen by you. the thought makes his ears warm).

the next days are agonizing. vigor renewed and epiphanies well-spent, sunday spends the rest of his time after finishing his duties researching and painstakingly finding the best jeweller he can find (even employing the suggestions of a certain gambler, much to his dislike), and spending a god awful amount of time revisiting and rechecking which spots you like, which places you enjoy, to the point it comes up in Penacony's headlines that sunday is interested in someone.

surely, it should've reached your ears by now, yes? sunday panics. your preferences are well-accounted for, and he's sure the Bloodhound family members that report to him have to tell you that the person he had in mind was you. even Robin, who was your closest friend, has probably told you already.

it's embarrassing to admit, but; to hell with it, the day he meets you after three weeks and sees you having a pleasant chat with aventurine, of all people, sunday thinks his heart had shattered into little pieces and stabbed themselves into his body. not so much as sparing him a glance, moreso.

so when, finally at his wits end, sunday chooses to corner you at the dewlight pavilion and spills out how he has royally screwed up in the worst way possible, no one is surprised. at this rate, you would be swept up in the charms of that wretched gambler, and what sunday lacked in, aventurine more than made up for.

“wait, don't go to that gambler just yet.” he's breathless, he's chaotic—and something in his heart squeezes when you finally look at him. “i... i wish to take up your time now, if that's possible.” (he wishes he would take up your time forever, really, but that was still too early).

you eye his getup. all of your gifts, lined on the man you spent so long chasing after—you see the gloves you gifted, the tie with not so much as a single crease, and the earrings that shine more brightly in the light of the pavilion. (it suits him. like you) it was as if sunday had completely surrendered himself to you, had all but decided to proclaim that he was yours, and this was nothing short of a plea for you to hear him.

“please.” he says. almost begs. “i can't bear not seeing you anymore. allow me to correct such a damning mistake.”

and if you were skeptical, the way sunday looks at you would dispel any doubt you could ever have. (his wings, they were fluttering.)

(months later, after a nerve-ending confession, many days of dinners, shared gifts involving matching jewelry and promenading to your wishes, it dawns on sunday he was absolutely dancing to your tune. did he regret it, though?

....no, most certainly not.)

if AVENTURINE were to be honest with himself, he saw you as a useful “friend” rather than a romantic interest. was it bad of him? of a sort. but risk cutting himself open and letting someone he might grow to care for know about all the ugliness that follows his life? no, he's fine as it is, thanks.

the first thing he notices is that you're kind—though he distrusted most of his colleagues and preferred none to get close to him, aventurine, in some morbid moment of curiosity, instead allowed himself to bask in your attention. instead of curtly disparaging you, he flirts back at your compliments (the way your face heated up in return was far too endearing that he can't help but want to kiss you he finds it amusing) and consistently texts you a “did you get home safe” or a “i bought you this because it reminded me of you”; at this point, it was like you two were dating.

was it leading you on? yes, but he supposes it was a win-win; he could send you those tiny bits of validation that was enough for you to stay respectfully at a distance while he probed at your intentions. unlike others who attempt to garner his favor, you're genuine, and you seriously take the time to know him. because you always text back with hearts, always reassure him, tell him to stay safe and wish him luck at every gamble, every high stakes bet he finds himself in. you even complimented his perfume once (and, if he had to be honest, he could not stop thinking about it all day—because that perfume he commissioned exclusively was based off of your own favorite scents and it was extremely embarrassing that he loved hugging you knowing that you loved the way he smelled and that it felt extremely domestic).

(sometimes, he doesn't reply. for months on end. suddenly the golden-haired man you love goes cold and you know then that aventurine ghosts you and then returns when he's in need of a friend—never a lover. it hurts you, but at the very least, you know he cares in his own way.)

and, if aventurine had to be honest, it was killing him from the inside bit by bit. as if to drive the knife deeper, you never danced around what exactly was going on with you two. you never ask why he ghosts you, then sends you a bundle of gifts all of a sudden and then rapidly spends time with you and repeating the cycle. no, you were consistently by his side, so warm and so caring—so unlike him—that aventurine wonders if it's really all right to open his heart to you.

if, by some chance, he actually wanted to be with you, would you treat him even more sweetly than before? aventurine thinks you would—you were beautiful in your entirety, and he was practically undeserving of you. he imagines himself kissing your hand and having you in his arms—and that feels like ice cold water being dumped onto his head, because you could do so much better and yet, why him?

so when aventurine hears about how a certain doctor was visiting you for some unknown reason, his already fragile sense of security in this little will-they, won't they crumbles.

and when he finds out that you were staying over with ratio? something twisted lodges itself in the little brushes of his heart, coiling and coiling—making him feel green. aventurine is aware you and the doctor are good friends, and ratio was the one who even told you to make a move on him! how could he just—suddenly interrupt?!

(was it dramatic? extremely. but knowing his friend and the person he secretly adores might end up together? you can't really blame him.)

he supposes this can be attributed to him. it was an egregious mistake, a blunder aventurine made—he never gave you a clear sight of whether he truly loved you or not and now you're slipping away from him.

so, he does something very unexpected.

at 3:00 AM in the wee early morning hours, aventurine practically barges into one Dr. veritas ratio's home, demanding what the hell was going on between you. and as if he had expected it, his doctor friend merely gives him a shrug in return.

“perhaps they were simply getting fed up by a certain IPC member—who is clearly head over heels in love with them—giving them mixed signals.” ratio's tone is stern, and aventurine definitely knows that the look he gives him is the one he gives only to fools.

you idiot, the doctor seems to say. yeah, yeah, he is; aventurine ignores the clear pinprick at his dignity.

yes, he supposes he is the fool here. “ah.”

“yes, ‘ah,’ indeed. now, let me propose a question.” the purple-haired man says. “will you react in such a way when i tell you that in order for my friend to stop their anguish, i managed to get them to fraternize with one of my colleagues?”

“...what?”

“they will be having a meet-up seven system hours from now.” ratio shrugs. eyes aventurine, who's looking at him like a gaping, stupid fish. “i can only hope that no one would dare to disrupt.”

...it doesn't take him long to be rid of the gambler by then.

(a few hours later, you stop by the Intelligentsia Guild to see one veritas ratio with a smug smile, eyeing the fur coat draped around your shoulders, and the flushed and happy expression written on your face.

“did it work?” he asks.

you laugh, “splendidly.”

indeed, that gambler was a fool, and there's nothing more than dr. ratio loved than to educate such fools to shape.

“that will teach him.”)

as a quote unquote ‘old man’ who knows that he's well up in his years for a relationship, JING YUAN finds you to be quite amusing.

it doesn't take a detailed analysis to know that you were smitten with him, really. you're a complete open book by his standards—if your heated face and slightly airy voice whenever you were even placed in the same vicinity with the Dozing General was anything to come by. while flattering, he also shares the similar mindset of being too old for any love his way—and he could be mara-struck at any given time, and jing yuan does not wish such a life filled with anguish and pain for the one who may steal his heart. but, worry not, brave suitor of the Arbiter General! unlike the other two above, this man has the experience of millenia, and is open-minded and aware that you truly wish to be perceived as a potential lover.

in fact, jing yuan's recent favorite habit is sneaking off the Seat of Divine Foresight purely to freak you out, watching you scramble up your words, seeing the heat crawl up your nape and bloom all across your face. adorable. you certainly knew how to appeal, that's for sure.

(“heh, it seems i've found a new place to stay in so that the Diviner Fu won't grill me alive when she sees me.”

and when he's rewarded with a bashful and speechless look in return, a smile and your, “i'm glad, general.” it surprisingly lightens up his mood by more than he expected.

that, in turn, gives him a frightening 30% energy boost; fu xuan was utterly shocked to see the languid man actually working and looking like he enjoyed it, for once.

“did something good happen today, jing yuan? why so enthusiastic?”

“i just felt like working more than usual, diviner Fu. i seem to have my energy levels at a high.”)

now, jing yuan is considerate and perceptive first and foremost, so there's a high chance that out of all the men here, he is the most open to giving you the chance to pursue him. he does inform you beforehand that he has no plans of accepting your confessions in the future, and that is where the ‘hard to get’ part comes in.

it's like playing a confusing romance visual novel with a fickle love interest—you never really know what you're doing, whether it's something jing yuan would like or not, and you don't know if he even thinks your attempts are moving his heart. (tldr: he friend zones you).

he maintains the same distance no matter his banters with you, no matter how many times you tell him that you'd help yanqing out with sword lessons. it's like he was just... treating you as he would a friend, and that you were basically stuck in the friend-zone forever.

(he keeps it to himself, but something warm stirs in his chest when he sees yanqing sleeping on your shoulder after training practice, with your arm protectively around the boy's side.

your sleeping face didn't make it easy to look away either; it's one of the few moments in which jing yuan shows just the slightest bit of reciprocating your pursuits; he brushes back the stray hairs covering your face, and drapes a blanket over the two of you.

of course, perhaps to tease yanqing, he also takes the calligraphy brush and makes a work out of his face, doodling all over it.

when you wake up, there's a lingering scent of ink and yellowed paper that fills your senses. when you turn to the boy beside you, you almost giggle out loud.)

it's a little disheartening—and while jing yuan did acknowledge that you were slowly, slowly burrowing yourself in his heart, he doesn't act on it fast enough, and instead lets the realization sit in his mind for a while.

it gets to the point where it feels as though he were preparing to distance himself, and even yanqing had asked if he was well. your visits with the Arbiter General also decrease, as he suddenly buried himself in his work even more than before.

he doesn't get to see you all that much afterwards, despite the lingering feeling of missing you filling his heart.

....that's until jing yuan hears word of a recent mara-struck incident involving the Sky-faring Commission; with your name listed among those heavily injured.

when he visits Bailu's clinic after yanqing urges him, jing yuan takes in the sight of you, littered in injuries from head to toe. your life, about to snap. he never even told you that you won; you did manage to steal his heart and for the first time in a long time, jing yuan allows himself to love.

so if, after three weeks later when you're finally healed up and ready to go, jing yuan brings you into his arms and drags you to let him sleep in your lap, you can't really blame him now, can you?

a/n: i love yearner hsr men,,, might do a pt 2 though. thinking of mayb ratio, jiaoqiu and f/heng next time...... sighs dreamily

@ ICEUNHIE: do not repost translate or plagiarize my works.

[sleepy-fiction]

Gold Ring.

-sebastian solace x reader

2k words

syn: he was a married man, yet he forgets when he's with you.

tgs: fluff, sfw (read a/n), sappy, feel-good, comfort, genderless reader

A/N: guys NO hate to Zerum at all. I just liked the idea of sebastian having a wife but learning true love and self worth from you. This fic is fluff sfw, but there are very mild dirty descriptions used sometimes. MDNI

Predator eyes loom through the darkened abyss. Sweaty, slobbering, hungry for a quench. He can't fight it. He knew you before you met him. He's seen the way you huddle to yourself, the way you persisted in this hell, the way you crawl to him whenever you're scared. How you count down the floors until you can rest-- on him.

He was the first once to make a move.

You bargained to sleep in his little room, yet you laid rest so far away from him. He didn't understand the flithy, possessiveness that growled in his hungry belly. It sent a pissed shiver from the tops of his head that rattled down to his tail.

He remembers the flinch you made at the sight.

He knows that he shouldn't, but fuck he wanted you closer then. No, he wants you closer, all the time.

He never knew romance until he pulled you over to him, the way he wrapped his tail around you like a snake. The way he blew it off with his typical banter, but God help him, the way he remembers your sleeping form carrying a smile throughout your dreams. Content- about him.

Times with his wife were never like this. He didn't know he was capable of feeling such intense desire. He's kissed, held, and he's lpved on and received. It remembers how the saying goes. If you love them, then you'd let him go. He went without a fuss here, content with the idea of his wife enjoying their freedom. But God knows, the idea of you, some inmate who waltzed into his life, leaving? No, it couldn't happen.

It was the pining that eventually sold his fate.

The yearning.

He'd find rocks the colors of your eyes to collect, most likely debris scattered from all the grubby inmates swarming the place just so he could keep something of yours nearby. Whenever he heard the echoing sounds of footsteps, the crawling through his vents, he perfectly memorized your sound yet still found his heart beating in hope even when he knew it couldn't be you.

He had grown overly accustomed to your dynamic. How you acted in playful defiance but respected him and his boundaries so much. He's never met an expendable quite like you, one not pushy- touchy- or downright evil. Even in a group setting, as you sometimes venture into a teams. You're always batting those pretty little eyes at him, saying thank you and apologizing on their behalf.

You're overly aware of him. Scanning his face, always checking for his contentment.

It was cute. You were discreet like a mouse.

For some reason, you had some staring problem. Always gazing with those eyes. So full of admiration for the brutish monster he had become. Those glances certainly didn't help him. You had to be some freak to like someone like him the way he is now. What about him could ever be attractive?

Don't think he doesn't notice the way you fidget in embarrassment whenever he tucks his hair behind his ears.

You get all shy when he gets close. You get shy whenever he escalates your banter- albeit painfully teasing you- but still-- it affects you.

He affects you.

That's a sensation that makes him question his self worth, and your character.

If someone as good as you finds him lovely. Then is he really? Could he really be...

His three blue hands.

Could they ever be loveable again?

It's that question that finally makes all the symptoms that has been building over the months of you being here finally click.

God he's.

He's falling in love with you.

He swallows thick, unable to read the document before his eyes.

Ba-dum, Ba-dum, Ba-dum

His heart races in his chest, his snaggle teeth gnawing against his lip, his eyes shutting impossibly shut. His hands fidget together, and the feeling of cold metal against (what used to be) his ring finger, and guilt swells in his belly.

He's in love with you. When all this time he was working hard to return to her.

He's in love with you. He heart yearns to leave with you and Painter.

He's in love with you. He doesn't feel the same about his wife. His identity is crumbling before his very soul, and it's terrifying.

His only anchor had been his wife the entire time.

His grip goes vice over his wedding ring. A ringing hiss, and a weeping cry flees his meekly throat.

He had a decent life. A woman who loved him.

But if this feeling he's feeling right now for you is love, then...

He shakes his head, his left hand slapping over his mouth, his right still coddling the ring on his smaller hand.

He can't.

He can't think that way.

In no magical universe will he ever get to have you. You'll leave here, he can see it now. It reflects in your eyes, it's this during gleam that no other expendable has.

He'll be left here to rot.

He needs to accept that and not get--

"Sebastian?"

His blood runs cold, his body jolting upright with a fury.

Fuck. He didn't even hear you enter.

A flashlight clicks, shinning at his belly.

He sees you.

You, who always calls his name so softly. So tenderly, full of respect and admiration. You who makes him feel like a person again. You who remembers things about him, you who points lights at his belly because you remember what hurts him.

He can't stop the tear that rolls out.

"Oh no," your voice dips heartbreaking soft as you set the flashlight down, "What's wrong, Sebastian?" You approach him slowly pausing in front of him with your palms up, asking with your body, with your eyes if you could touch him.

He laughs at you. The sound croaks in bittersweetness.

He leans down to your hands, resting his face in your palms. You're so warm, it makes his heart flutter. "It looks you've caught me at a bad time," he says sing-songly.

Your eyes are full of understanding, the way you smile. "Seems so," you say, brimming to see he was okay. You're giving him space, he hates how he begins to yearn.

He can't help it when you're like this.

Sebastian strains.

"Everyone needs to cry sometimes, especially in this place. I cry, too. A lot." You whisper.

But you're still smiling.

God.

He hates you.

He giggles. The sound is so out of character, so school-girlishly giddy. "Fuck," he grimaces as he burries his cheeks into your palm. He knows he cannot physically blush anymore, but he still feels the shame.

He's turning soft.

Soft for such an airhead.

He swallows nervously, looking up to peer into your eyes. You're admiring him again. Your shifty pupils drag up and down his features again and again and again like a broken record. Holding your lips agape, and sucking in swallow breathes, as if the faintest movement from every breathing too intensely would disrupt the view.

He can't take it.

His hands shoot out for you, one on your hip, the other around your waist, the final caressing your back. You squeak as he pulls you completely into him, your feet rising from the floor. You rest your head dazily on his shoulder, as he slithers onto the dark, farther away from your abandoned light.

When you finally stopped moving, you could feel a wall behind Sebastian, as you straddled a leg on each side of his tail, your knees against the floor.

"Sebastian? I can't see you," you whine.

"You don't need to look at me..." He hushes.

Your hands find his cheeks, they're all warmed up from you.

"I need to," you lean in closer, rubbing your nose against his nostril slits. His breath shudders.

"Pull it," He whispers.

You already know as you reach and pull his antenna. A dim warm light illuminates his face, and you smile contently.

Your hands parade through his hair, tucking the strands of his hair back away from his face on both sides; the way you've seen him do many times before.

You've forced him to admit it now.

He's something worth gawking at.

Even like this.

Embarrassment is a surprisingly delicious taste for his belly.

You slide back in his arms, as his hands lean back and fall to his side. All except for his right, which cups a healthy amount of your hip to keep you steady on his tail.

Now it's his turn to admire you.

"Hmm, pretty thing," He mumbles. His smaller hand reaches up your body, his gold ring flashing in the eyes of both of you.

He tenses.

You notice. Your hands rest on his shoulders as you lean in closer to him.

"Sebastian." You blink, empathy driving your veins.

He already knows.

"I used to have a wife. Long before... This happened to me," He whispers it to the air.

Now it's your turn to feel a deep pang in your heart. You know you shouldn't say it, but the words burst out, "Did you love her?"

You watch as a strained smile pulls at him, "N-Not... Not as much as..." He swallows abruptly, "yuh... Y-You."

It all clicks for you.

He's sad over guilt?

You giggle-- and it's almost as painfully giddy as the one he let out before. But it's not enough as thr giggle turns into a laugh. The sound is bright and refreshing to his ears, like rays of forlorn sunshine kissing him. He can't help the way his ears twitch in pure glee.

He'll drink up this sound forever.

"Little cheater," you giggle into his skin as you kiss his cheeks.

He's deeply affected by this! It's not funny!

"Hey." He can't seem to reprimand you, though. "Bastard," He hushes.

You break away finally. And before you could lean in to plant more kisses, his free hands are on you again. Trailing up your body, up your chest (with him seeming to slow down a bit for that part), then to your shoulders, to roll down to your lovely hands. Lovely hands that he moves to place on his meaty chest.

"Come here," he finally commands, and it's like your knees go weak. The two of you meet in the middle, your lips melting into one another like starved animals. The way you nip and howl in between fervent friction-- friction unknown tp you both since entering this hell hole.

His kisses are filled with longing, desire, full of shivers, full of breathy moans. Sensations that send waves of shivers down to the tips of his tail.

You pull apart to suck on his bottom lip, and with a grunt, Sebastian's mouth cracks open obediently. His large tongue rolls out of his mouth and deep into yours. It's stuffiness enough to make you choke if he wasn't so careful- and if the feeling wasn't so erotic.

Your little alien.

You caress his face all over, your fingertips finding his twitching ears. You pull apart with a hearty smack of the lips, a thin trail of saliva rolling out from you from his large tongue. He picks it up before it could fall to your chin, a satisfied hum from him.

You kiss his round jaw, thumbs caressing circles into his under eyes.

"I love you," Sebastian kisses it into your skin.

"I love you too," you sigh wholeheartedly. You lean in and kiss his tiny third eye, and he hums sing-songly.

Your arms slide around his neck, burying your face into the crook of his jaw, relaxing your body deep into him with a sigh.

You two were so peaceful. You barely noticed the sagging lethal drowsiness in your veins. You haven't slept in... Haven't slept in....

Snorrreeeee...

Sebastian laughs at you. You fell right asleep, just like that? His tail wraps around you like a snake, as his kisses make themselves known to your forehead.

"Goodnight, expendable..." He snickers.

And the gold ring slips from his finger.

To have a future with the benefit of you being there, it's more than just a dream come true.

You accepted him.

He can accept himself, too.

[seelestia]

⟡ within your waking thoughts (there i’ll be).

⎯ what do they do when they miss you? how do they cope with yearning when you're away? { y for yearning ノ ordered by @floraldresvi! (sorry for the ping!) }

RESERVED FOR! ノ characters. aventurine, sunday, dr. ratio ft. gn!reader. { 1.3k words }

FLAVOR! ノ genre. fluff, slight angst (my apology to sunday lovers yet again), established relationship.

TOPPINGS! ノ tags. aventurine has his tech savvy moment, pre-2.2 sunday (heavy references but no spoilers), ratio has two phones (king of separating work & personal life !!!).

BAKER’S NOTE! ノ thoughts. a repost! bcs tumblr didn't like it the first time. hopefully, this one will be here to stay. thank u to vivi for requesting this ‹3

© seelestia on tumblr, may 2024. please do not repost, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.

in your absence, aventurine welcomes little thoughts of you that float around his mind with open arms - and the way he indulges them is by simply texting you. effective and efficient, there is a reason why the cosmos calls it the second most used means for long distance communication. what about the first? well, he would've opted for calling you with his earpiece if only his line of work doesn't require 90% of its usage time.

let's just say the idea of fellow stonehearts interrupting his conversation with you ruins the fun. besides, he has deft fingers; coin tricks aren't the only thing in his book, you know, typing a few sentences in one go is no problem at all.

but maybe, he is using that too much to his advantage . . . considering the “25+” staring back at you from your notifications every few hours or so. aventurine is truly, irrevocably relentless.

anything even remotely in your favorite color found within his vicinity? new message: Saw something that reminded me of you, you must really like crossing my mind.

an item he thinks would fit you well? new message: I got you a gift. Does it suit your fancy? [1 attachment]

reminded of how cruel fate is to separate you two for so long? new message: Haven't seen your face in a while. Fifteen hours are a total too cruel, don't you agree?

have faith that you will never grasp the true meaning of boredom when you’re apart from him. luck follows a man like aventurine, so do interesting events - remember how he won a vacation to a resort with one chip? he revels in telling you stories of his encounters while you're away. it is as if thrill revolves around him constantly. . . one wonders just how he fares living on the edge of it all.

(you, for one, are aware of his ways. he has allowed you to wander far enough behind his masquerade, after all.)

of course, texts on an illuminated screen can barely compare to seeing you in person. he prefers having you in his arms instead - but he'll live. solitude is an old friend of his, albeit distant and cold, aventurine can deal with its company every once in a while. at the end of the day, he knows you’ll be there when he comes home.

though, it's such a shame he cannot see your face when you're apart. the curve of your lips as you smile, the twinkle in your eyes with his reflection in them, and. . . ah, seems like he is making this harder for himself. maybe, he should consider buying that HD holographic communicative device on the market? his ears caught wind of some P45 officers at pier point whispering about it before.

it'll cost a large sum of credits but hey, he thinks it'll be worth it. for you? anything is possible.

(...him? clingy? well, guilty as charged.)

sunday’s self-discipline is not something to be underestimated. halovians are a species known for their enchanting voices, yet he feels as if he cannot spare any for even his inner thoughts. what an irony. his longing for your presence is persistent, tumbling at the edge of his tongue - but he is equally as, if not more, stubborn and so he swallows this yearning down instantly.

you are not confined to the dreamscape like he is, as self-imposed as that may be. sunday is aware of that, hence his first instinct is to keep quiet. the curse of sealing his lips till forevermore; watching you leave through the grand doors, letting his gaze fall to where your shadow used to be, savoring the last of your remaining fragrance from when you last bade him goodbye - all without a word.

(don't go, he wished he could say.)

is it a bad habit? “your voice shouldn't be used just to utter words that others want to hear,” you reminded him once. “it's also for you. it's yours.”

but even then, your words are akin to a faint whisper; muffled by the thoughts that plague his mind like a mist. he can't help how they fog up his reflection in the mirror, leaving remnants of something acrid that wafts in the air. something like doubts, sunday would know because he has dwelled in it for as long as he remembers.

you are outside, fluttering your wings in the sky and enjoying what it has to offer. does he have any rights to disturb you? perhaps, in his eyes, sunday views himself as a string tied around your talon, trailing all the way from the heavens where you soar to the humble ground where he resides. each time your absence compels him to reach out, it is as if he’s tugging on that string and dragging you lower from the height you truly relish in, from the height you deserve to be at.

(sunday believes that you belong to the sky, unlike him.)

so here, he shall stay and here, he shall wait until you return. sunday’s heart begins to grow cold - but the farewell kiss you've left on the apple of his cheek hasn't faded. its warmth remains, even when he brushes his freezing hand against it, it remains.

you remain.

(and that is enough for him.)

dr. ratio is a man with a packed schedule, so it's safe to say he keeps himself occupied particularly well. tasks at the intelligentsia guild are nothing short of demanding, after all. there are researchers asking for his input left and right, although some tremble while speaking to him even when he hasn't even uttered a word yet. ignoring that, he also aids in projects that require his expertise. last but not least, his students and classes which he takes very seriously.

(but be careful with how you phrase it — the doctor doesn't view them as distractions, no, he sees them as his responsibilities — saying the former might offend him.)

as you can see, he is perfectly capable of spending time away from you. . . .or at least, until it's time for a break and a part of that perfection chips off.

his office is quite tranquil, free from outside noise, just the way he likes. this place bears a similar purpose as his headgear, to let him focus in silence without disturbance - but he hasn't expected that exact silence to be this deafening. hah, how absurd! in what realm of possibility could silence ever be associated with deafening as an adjective? he supposes it could be a case of tinnitus. . . but veritas knows that isn't the case.

something's missing and it is, much to his dismay, you.

veritas has his standards. he prefers things to be set at a specific level - and this level of silence, one marred further by your lack of presence, is too low for him. he's getting too used to seeing you barge into his office with neatly packed sandwiches in your hands, a revelation he'd rather keep to himself.

veritas reaches for his personal phone, his work one left neglected at the far end of the desk. he considers making a call to you but the clock is ticking. tick tock tick tock, as if to hang the fact that his break is reaching its end over his head.

utilizing whatever time he has left, his finger gives the gallery app a tap. various pictures pop up on the screen; selfies of you with silly expressions, candid shots of veritas himself and some photos of random objects like your matching mugs. all of these were taken by you, of course. seriously, is this his phone or is it yours?

who knows at this point? he nearly lets out a snort, but that smile on his face is fooling no one. the doctor continues scrolling through his gallery, utterly content with just this until he gets home. to you.

(yes, yes, this still counts as keeping himself occupied. thank you for your concern.)

— thank you for reading! reblogs with comments are most appreciated.

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

SUCCESS STORY!!

Okay here i am back with a success story 🙂✨! I was gone for a while cause i was kinda busy manifesting my desire.

And Guess what?? I MANIFESTED A NEW LAPTOP FOR MY MOM ! YAY!

Okay so here's the story:

My mom's old laptop was starting to get worse and i'm the one who use it every single day, this laptop just turned 10 years old, and the keyboard started not working so if i touch a Key it won't show up in the screen and that pissed me off so much! I told my mom about it and she told me that maybe she will take it to a repairer.

So i was like "what a minute-i Can just manifest that mom will buy a New laptop and she will find one with a low Price" so i started affirming "oh yeah, mom just found a New laptop with a low Price and she bought it!".

Then the next day i was just laying down on my bed and i Heard my mother talking to my aunt on the phone and my aunt told her that she found a laptop and with the exact same designe (i wanted for my mom) and plus the Price is not that high.

I was so freaking happy that there was movement in the 3d! Then i Heard my mom talking to my dad about it and she told him that she will buy it the next month in July and i was Like "no no that not true, she will buy it this month" Basically i persisted.

And today my mom bought it! I feel like i accomplished something Big lol.

That the power of persisting even if something show up the opposite in the 3d, so keep persisting and DON'T GIVE UP! It will be worth it!

Here's proof:

Sorry for the quality of my camera (i know i know it's worse🥲).

Anyways i Hope this motivated you all and good Luck everyone !💗🫶🏻.

Xoxo, Eli

[justastraymoa]

Unwilling Alpha

Chapter 1

Masterlist taglist

Warnings ⚠️ swears, abo dynamics, mentions of slave trade, mentions of rape, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, fear, manipulation.

Alphas are dying out and rare. It was dangerous to be an Alpha nowadays. You could be taken and never seen again at any moment by Alpha slave traders.

I sighed heavily as the song playing through my earbuds was once again interrupted with the sound of my ringtone. I glanced at the screen to see yet another out of country number. The fifth one today. I blocked it as soon as it stopped ringing.

No one I knew was outside of the country and I wasn’t interested in donating any money to a Nigerian prince down on his luck.

The music blared again, and I got back to work, attempting to get back into that nice zone I had found earlier. Before it was so rudely interrupted by spammers.

So when, a couple minutes later, my phone went off with my text notification, I was totally justified at the string of curses that left my lips.

There, hopefully that ends that. I don’t know how my number got leaked over-freaking-seas, but I’m sick of dealing with it.

And then I blocked the jerk as promised. Just to be on the safe side I screen shotted the whole exchange as well. You could never be too careful with assholes.

Assholes trying to use my subgender against me. I have been very careful with my suppressants. No one left alive knows what my true subgender is-and I am keeping it that way.

For the next day, my phone was blissfully free of any out of the country calls or texts. My threat must have worked. Or the spammers decided I wasn’t worth the hassle. Either way I win. It was peaceful.

Then my doorbell rang early in the evening.

I quickly ran to the bedroom to find something to put on since I was only in an old t shirt and panties. My hamper was closest to the door, I grabbed the first thing and pulled them on, then jogged to open the door, fully expecting it to be another pizza delivery coming to the wrong address.

I was wrong. Boy was I wrong. I opened the door in 3-day old unwashed hair, ratty stained t shirt, and my dirty pair of eggplant print boxers I used to lounge around in, to find a small group of people.

I was shocked. Gob smacked even! I recognized 2 of them immediately, and my entire body froze, mouth hanging open.

“I told you I needed your help.” JYP stated slapping his thigh and pursing his lips.

The JYP was standing in front of my door. Not just him either. No. Bang freaking Chan was also there. Both were lightly disguised with hats and hoods. And I was in ratty, dirty lounge clothes.

In a ridiculous moment of panic, I slammed the door shut with a squeak I didn’t know I was capable of making.

On the other side of the door there was a chuckle, then a knock. I stood frozen, not comprehending what was currently happening.

“L/n, I just want to talk.” JYP spoke through the door, voice muffled but understandable.

As the seconds passed there was more, unintelligible talking, then my door handle turned.

“L/n, I’m coming in. It’s just two of us now. I really only want to talk.” JYP called through the slowly opening door.

I let the door open without moving, watching with wide eyes and shallow breath as JYP and BangChan stepped into my apartment.

BangChan, adorable loser that he is, awkwardly waggled his fingers in a wave, hunched forward slightly. I automatically lifted my hand in a return wave.

“Shoes off.” I breathed attempting to get my brain and body working again. It was easier said than done, but you know what they say. Fake it until you make it.

JYP knew me, apparently. And apparently knew my grandparents according to his texts before I blocked him. He knew me. He knew my name. My address. My…fuck! My subgender. That’s what this was all about.

I sighed, all at once losing every ounce off starstruck shock as I came to this conclusion. I turned and sat on my chair, leaving the couch for them. JYP is persistent, I had no choice but to listen to his plea at this point.

It was odd to see such powerful men in socks for some reason. As they passed to sit, I caught BangChans scent and shivered, goosebumps forming on my arms. He smelled like sand and a pine forest, and it hit me in all the right Alpha spots.

Omegas aren’t common, but they aren’t uncommon either. I had smelled them before, plenty of times. But none had my whole being react like BangChans scent did. It was probably because I am such a fan.

“Are you sure? She smells like Beta.” BangChan asked JYP as they got comfortable. He spoke in Korean, probably thinking I didn’t understand it.

“She understands you. L/n, probably speaks Korean more fluently than you do. And yes, I’m sure.” JYP warned him with a smile.

“My grandparents have both been dead since I was a child, so how do you know so much about me?” I asked. More like demanded but who’s going to call me out on it?

JYP shrugged. “My mother always kept tabs on you. Said you were worth looking after. When she passed, I picked it up.”

“But why?”

“To make sure you were okay. Your grandparents and my parents were very close.”

“Wouldn’t know. They didn’t talk about that kind of stuff with me. It was all lessons on my heritage and ancestry. Culture, language, and traditions.” It was always a lesson with them. Always insistent I knew where I came from, who I came from. I hated it then, but as I grew older, I started to appreciate it. Especially when my parents died, and I was left all alone. The knowledge wasn’t lost.

“We met a couple of times, but you were too young to remember.”

Enough reminiscing. “What did you want from me? It’s obviously to use me as an Alpha.”

BangChan grimaced and I suspected I knew where this was going, but I hoped I was wrong.

JYP nodded. “You know the Korean laws on idol Omegas?”

Did I? It was all STAY could talk about. All Omega idols must be bonded to an Alpha within 6 years of their official debut. Stray Kids was rapidly coming up on that deadline with no bonding Alpha in sight. STAY worried they would be forced to disband. Stray Kids had been on hiatus to focus solely on finding their Alpha. There were only a couple weeks left.

It was exactly as I feared. “Surely you can find several more qualified Alphas.” I argued.

To most Alpha STAYs, being asked to attempt to bond Stray Kids would be a dream come true. Especially since it would mean a higher level of safety. It was dangerous for an Alpha now.

Generations ago, the 3 subgenders were more equal in population. But now? Now Alphas are almost endangered. Most were Betas, but there was a nice number of Omegas too. Too many Omegas and not enough Alphas. And people were desperate to create more Alphas.

A lot of Omegas were able to settle comfortably with a Beta, but any pregnancy would only produce Betas. An Alpha parent was required to have another Alpha.

So there came an Alpha slave trade. Alphas would be taken, sold, used, and abused until they died. Forced to impregnate countless paying Omegas in the hopes of creating more Alphas.

When I found out I was Alpha I immediately started on the strongest suppressants I could find. They hid my scent and made me appear Beta. Keeping me safe. I never missed a dose. I was terrified too.

JYP shook his head. “I’m sure you heard we have been trying to find Stray Kids an Alpha full time for months now. I’ve lost count of how many we tried. None could bond.” He began before glancing over at BangChan. “The Stray Kids bond with each other is so strong that there will only be one Alpha for all 8 of them. We just need to find an Alpha that can bond. We’ve tried everything.”

“That’s why you brought him. All that keeping tabs on me, and you didn’t know I take suppressants? No one knows I’m Alpha.” I gestured to BangChan vaguely.

“I brought him because I know you are a fan. I hoped he would help convince you.”

Sly. Sneaky. Underhanded. But he caught my attention, so I guess it worked. Not that I would ever tell him that.

“It didn’t work. I’m not interested. BangChan it was amazing to have you in my living room.” I stood and held an arm out to the door, gesturing them out politely. “Have a nice night and good luck in your search.”

BangChan stood, but JYP didn’t. “I know you’re reluctant to reveal your subgender. I understand-I really do. If I had any other options I wouldn’t have risked coming here and outing, you.”

I stood my ground. Someone as big and powerful as JYP would figure something out. People like him always did. Always came out on top. Annoying fuckers.

AS the seconds ticked by, no one budged. Finally, BangChan shifted forward slightly. “Miss L/n, I know this is a lot. We are asking you to risk a lot.” I sighed and turned to him. “JYP isn’t exaggerating. We have tried 52 Alphas from all over the world over the years and another 15 since we have been on hiatus. We have truly exhausted every option.”

I felt for him. I really did. This law is one of the few that really affect the idol industry that fans absolutely hate. Countless idols petition their government to change the law without success.

“What makes you think I’ll turn out any different than the others?”

BangChan shrugged. “Gut feeling?”

I blinked. Then blinked again. “Gut feeling? You want me to risk my live for a gut feeling?”

“Come meet the others. Stop the suppressants temporarily. A week. We will do everything we can to make sure no one outside of us finds out your subgender. Please.”

It was probably the adoration I had for him, but I could see the separation in his eyes. The fear of being turned down. Of rejection.

Closing my eyes and rubbing my nose, I felt my resolve crumbling. I would feel horrible if I turned him down and my favorite group had to disband. Now knowing if I could have prevented it.

Since I never took it, I had plenty of vacation time saved up. Even on this short of notice my boss would be cool with it.

Plus, BangChan promised to keep my subgender a secret. Well, try as best as he could. Most likely I wouldn’t be able to bond, just like all the others. Then I could move on with my life guilt free and die happy knowing I met and lived with Stray Kids for a week.

“1 week. My subgender remains secret.” I relented.

BangChans chemo signals filled the air with excitement and hope. And just a touch of relief.

I looked at JYP, who was visibly relieved. “By the way, if you really wanted to use Stray Kids to sway me, you should have brought my bias.”

JYP barked a laugh.

“Wait. I’m not your bias?” BangChan asked.

“Nope.” I shook my head while typing an email to my boss on my phone.

“Who is your bias?”

Satisfied with my draft I hit send. “Not telling.”

“Oh, come on! Is it Felix?”

“When does the plane take off?” I ignored BangChans guess. It was wrong anyway.

JYP checked his watch, then phone.

“Han? Everyone loves Quokka.” BangChan kept guessing and I kept ignoring.

“3 hours ish.” JYP finally answered.

Good I had a little time to pack a bag and gather stuff I would need. I nodded and slipped past BangChan to start packing. And also, to get into more suitable clothes. Unfortunately, BangChan followed me into my bedroom.

“Lee Know?”

“Bang, give up, hm? I’m not telling.”

Taglist: @xxeiraxx

[kingkatsuki]

You want to tame the beast inside Kaji, but maybe you just make it worse.

Pairing: Kaji Ren x f!reader.

Warnings: 18+, rough sex, squirting, creampie.

“Ren,” You whine when you feel him hit a particularly deep spot inside you, the neatly trimmed hairs at the base of his cock drag against your clit and it causes a delicious friction to build between your thighs.

You’re so pretty like this, he thinks. All spread out for him to use as he pleases, suckers long forgotten on his bedside table as he takes his frustrations out on you. Hands rough against your supple hips as he fucks into your pliant body with vigour, back hunched as he looms over you. Overcome with an urge to protect you, to defend you with his life as he lets a palm reach up to grasp your bouncing breast.

Mine.

“So pretty.” He mumbles, more to himself than anything as he sets a brutal pace. The crude sound of skin against skin melds with the shlick of your messy cunt as it echos around the room, cheeks flushed from embarrassment though Kaji doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest— in fact, he delights in it.

Kaji had found a new vice, a new way to control the raging beast inside him.

It’s too much, too intense as he drives into you with purpose. The pulsing veins form against his long, hard cock and manage to drag against your velvety walls with each forward motion as his blunt cockhead bullies your cervix. He’s so fucking deep, and you can’t stop the persistent ebb that throbs persistently in your abdomen.

Kaji always knew your body better than you knew it yourself, and perhaps this was why he fought to fuck you so hard and deep. Knowing the sweet euphoria that would come to fruition when you unravelled in front of him would make it all worth it.

“I can’t— s’too much,” You manage to get out between desperate whines, your toes curl as though you’re dancing on the precipice of bliss. Globs of pearlescent tears clump in your lashes and blur your vision as you try to blink them away, falling down your temples as he has your tits bouncing and the bed rocking from how hard he’s using you.

“You can take it,” He grunts, “You always fuckin’ do.”

And it’s true, you love when he has you like this. All spread out and pretty for him as he has you unravelling on his cock— but no amount of orgasms can prepare you for the desperate ebb that throbs needy and persistent inside your pelvis.

“No, Ren.” You gasp when he hits a particularly deep spot inside you that has your toes curling and your thighs shaking. “I’m gonna pee—”

His thrusts stutter for a moment, stilling inside you as he ponders your words. Before his eyes are back and focused with intent as he resumes his frantic pace— “Oh, fuck.”

You move a palm down to press against his abdomen, trying to quell the intense pleasure that racks through your body and push him away for a moments respite. But Kaji takes it as an invitation, wrapping a sweaty hand around your wrist as he uses it for leverage. His grip certain to leave a bruise as your palm splays against his skin, hot and heavy. Using his other hand to press messy circles against your puffy clit, smirking at the debauched look that appears on your face when he drives you close to the edge.

Kaji delights in the way you clamp down around him in the impending crux of your release, destroying your final piece of resolve as it crumbles down around you and you find yourself falling. Nails scratch against his abdomen, leaving pretty red lines in their wake as you come undone.

“Ren.” You cry out, your walls pulse around his cock as a clear stream of liquid spurts from between your thighs. Soaking you both and the sheets beneath you as Kaji continues to fuck you through it. His thumb unrelenting against your clit as he forces more of the liquid from your body, his rough movements have it spraying in all directions as you actually sob.

It barely takes a couple more thrusts before Kaji is following you into euphoria, hunched over with a guttural grunt that vibrates low and deep in his throat as he spills his spunk inside you. Coating your inner walls as he fucks it deeper inside with his softening cock, filling you up in the way he knows you covet.

He’s quick to lay his head against your breast, his chest heaving as you push his messy blond hair away from his sweaty forehead.

Kaji’s friends always joked that you tamed the beast inside him, but with the way he gazed down at you with feral eyes and a rough snarl you weren’t sure it was true. Perhaps you had tamed one beast and unleashed another—

[neptuneiris]

Wild Hearts | (One Shot)

'you, it's always been you'

pairing: prince!aemond × lowborn!reader

summary: you and he can't be together, yet the two of you have fallen for each other. but the Gods are not merciful and you both have to let go. but by comparison, your charming prince doesn't think the same way you do.

word count: 8.6k

next part • main masterlist

this is the new idea that I was talking about hehe🤭

i hope you like it a lot and first of all, i want you to know that there will be part two and nothing else. so enjoy this, dig it and let me know your opinion that is the most excited i am to read❤

enjoy and thank you so much for your support beautiful people!

warnings: angst, sex content, arranged married, minor mentions of cuts and blood, smut but not so elaborate.

The Gods can be cruel.

And for some time they have been cruel, especially to you.

You are a lady, yes, but not of a great house enough to be worth anything really big and significant. All your father can offer the Realm is a few soldiers, horses and you.

You are the only daughter of an arranged marriage trying to find their place among the Court. And when you are born a woman, your duty is to marry a suitable man, please him and give birth to as many children as possible.

That was your purpose in coming to King's Landing after Queen Alicent approved your stay at the Red Keep and you became a lady-in-waiting to the highborn ladys who also remain at Court.

But no one, not even you, could have prevented that those plans would no longer be a priority for you the moment you met Prince Aemond Targaryen.

You knew of the one-eyed prince's reputation, as well as his brutality in combat, his cold behavior and also of his recognition as the rider of the largest dragon in the world. But most of all, you knew that his disinterested and sometimes mean personality... was due to how he lost his eye at such a young age.

But that was what he wanted to show all the people of the Court and its visitors.

After such humiliating years of trying to prove himself while at the same time listening to whispers and rumors about him and the pity he caused people for losing his eye, Aemond had no interest in pleasing the Court, so he was just mean, disinterested and cold.

But with you it was all different.

Perhaps it was being alone for so long that he finally got tired of himself and let you in and see his other side, his true side that very few were privileged to see. After all, you were just a lowborn lady who had lived her whole life with the same duty as him: to please the Realm and fill its needs.

But even he never imagined that you and he would understand each other so well.

The gleam of his violet eye, charged with an unusual intensity and determination, the effect he made you feel when you looked back at him and saw his patch covering his left socket and the way he spoke and behaved with you, triggered a wave of unknown emotions and expectations in you.

Your first casual encounter with the prince began in the library, where you exchanged literary tastes. You revealed your fascination for the history of the Andals, as well as shared with him how interesting you found the stories of his family, the Targaryens.

And he shared with you his admiration for history and philosophy as well.

Your casual encounters with him continued in the library and before long, those encounters extended to walks in the gardens. Those walks became a mostly secret habit, where you not only shared equal opinions about books and history, but where you both got to know each other a little more.

And despite the growing friendship and the bonds that intertwined with every conversation and interaction, the weight of undeniable reality persisted.

However, neither of you stopped.

On some trips he had to make, on every return he would always bring some gift for you, whether it was a piece of jewelry or a new book that you don't have access to, to leave secretly in you chamber. Or he would even surprise you with a rare flower that is not seen in the Crowlands, handing it to you so delicately while you tried to keep the blush on your cheeks from being so obvious.

You too tried to look casual when you went to the training yard just to watch him train discreetly, admiring his skills and in every fight smiling proudly every time he made his opponents surrender to him.

And in the midst of everything and everyone, his violet eye always met yours.

At banquets and celebrations it was also the same. The two of you couldn't engage in conversation as such, at least not alone, so all night long, you could only exchange glances and act like complete strangers.

But in the occasional places where the two of you meet and no one else is around, you can act completely free.

He shared with you the story of how he claimed Vhagar, told you more about the history of his ancestors, even taught you some High Valyrian words, while you, who in comparison to him do not possess anything as great and exciting as he does, share with him your thoughts, dreams and tastes.

You both became friends. You became the friend he didn't know he needed and you definitely didn't expect someone like him, especially him, to enjoy your company so much.

And during those years, you couldn't blame the Gods for falling completely in love with the prince.

That was your total freedom and decision, even though you knew how impossible the situation was and that the two of you could probably never be together.

Your house is not worth enough to allow a union between you and a prince of the Realm. It was also useless to suggest it, because the answer would be no, both from the Queen and from your parents, who would have been totally pleased.

But Aemond is destined for more, you know that. And that more is definitely not you and not even close.

And despite this, you couldn't help but imagine as a fleeting dream the moment when he and you unite and become one. A dream that will never happen in which you finally become his wife and you can call him yours, just as he can also call you his, in body and soul.

But that dream is finally shattered when they announce the official betrothal between him and Lady Floris Baratheon.

It was something that was eventually going to happen, you knew it was going to happen, but still, the news takes you by surprise and your heart breaks into pieces, while everyone around you rejoices at the news and approves.

The days following the betrothal announcement become dark and sad for you. You retreat most of your time in your chamber, not having the mood to go out and face the Court, much less him.

And when you had to face the daylight, your steps became stealthy and sparse, trying to keep your distance as much as possible and avoiding any possible encounter with him or anyone else from the royal family.

Aemond of course realized the distance you took and respected it. Not because he knew exactly what happened, but because he thought you had other important matters that did not allow you to share your time with him.

It wasn't until an audience at the Court where the Queen and the Hand of the King attend to the needs of the people, that Aemond finally caught a glimpse of you. But you didn't return his gaze even for a moment. And it is only then that he tries to understand the reason for your distancing, but your eyes avoid any eye contact with him.

You spend several days living in the same way, until one silent morning, Aemond finds you in the library all alone. He knows this is not your favorite time to read, nor is it his, so to say you are avoiding him is clear at that moment.

He opens one of the doors gently and closes it audibly enough to get your attention. He sees perfectly how your whole body tenses and nerves are reflected in your gaze, as well as discontent.

That especially catches his attention and with more purpose he wanders deeper into the library, watching you completely intently and in search of an explanation, wanting to know what he has done to make his presence before you now uncomfortable and annoying to you.

"My prince," you say politely enough, bowing your head to him, but already wanting to leave.

You certainly did not expect him to appear and now you only try to hide from him as much as you can so that he avoids looking at the disappointment on your face.

"My Lady," he says, still with bewilderment in his gaze, taking a couple of steps towards you, "It is good to finally see you after so many weeks without your presence."

You force a small smile, lowering your gaze.

"It's good to see you too, my prince."

His closeness begins to unsettle you, feeling each step he takes towards you as an echo of emotions you'd rather keep hidden. And this is exactly why you desperately seek a way out, a convincing excuse to get away from him.

"If you'll excuse me, my prince, I must retire," you decide to say without further ado, hoping that it will work, "I wish you a good day."

But you only manage to move two steps forward when he quickly blocks your path.

"Wait."

Instantly you watch him intently and in awe, feeling your heart begin to beat too fast, as he looks at you confused and hopeful.

"You've been... absent lately," he says, his words laden with a mixture of confusion and longing.

You swallow hard, averting your gaze from his for a moment. You don't even want to look him in the eye but that would be rude and not appropriate behavior in front of a prince. So you have no choice.

"Yes," you say in a mumble, trying to find an excuse quickly, "I-I've had to take care of some important matters with my family. Also, my responsibilities at Court have kept me occupied with the ladies and other engagements, which has left me less free time, my prince."

And despite your explanation, really not at all convincing, Aemond can't help but feel annoyed.

"And will you stop saying that?" he inquires in a low tone and you watch him in confusion.

"What do you mean, my prince?"

"Exactly that, my title," he points out deliberately, "There's no one else here, it's just you and me. I don't understand what all the formality is about."

You press your lips together, again averting your gaze from him, as you as well as he, feel that tension between the two of you, a tension completely unfamiliar and one you have never felt before in each other's presence.

You had never felt uncomfortable in his presence and you had never wanted to get away from him before.

"I apologize. It was not my intention to offend you," you observe him with a serious expression, "If you'll excuse me, I have to leave now to attend to an engagement."

Again you try to walk past him and head for the library doors, but Aemond prevents it once again, blocking your path and pushing you back with his determined and clearly annoyed gaze.

"You are avoiding me," he sentences, firm with his words, showing his inconformity, surprising you, "Nothing is the same between both of us anymore and your explanations don't justify it," he says, with annoyance in his voice and a determination, "Did something happen that I don't know about?"

He asks, watching you with a restrained fury, mostly to see how you try to escape from him, while you press your lips together, trying not to let your look show your pain, disappointment and resignation.

But his gaze clings to yours with an intensity charged with longing, wanting to know, while the silence is uncomfortable and you feel again that tension between the two of you. Until finally you decide to break the silence to not quite answer her question, still evading it.

"This is inappropriate. We shouldn't be alone."

You say without looking him in the eye and that only increases the anger inside him more, watching you without understanding.

"Why the shyness all of a sudden?"

You bite your lips, feeling the discontent all over your insides as you say your next words.

"You are betrothed. People might think badly of you and me if they see us here alone."

"Oh, please Y/N," he tells you incredulously, annoyed, "You're acting ridiculous."

"Aemond-

"Why this sudden concern for appearances?" he questions, his tone infused with irritation and annoyance, "Everyone knows we're close, we always have been, and now it's inappropriate?" he inquire, not understanding.

You let out a short breath, closing your eyes for a moment, really not wanting this to be any harder than it probably will be.

"You don't understand," you murmur sadly, biting your lips, "You are betrothed now," you observe him with the resistance to cry in your gaze, "Now there are limits we cannot cross. And it would be best if this were no longer to go on," you say with a lump in your throat, "Your gifts and our meetings must stop, for the good of your future marriage and out of respect for your f-future... wife."

The weight of your words are felt in your tone, with sadness invading you as you utter them, as well as the ending of this... friendship.

Again the heavy silence hangs between the two of you, laden with a sadness and helplessness that neither of you can control. And although Aemond doesn't fully understand your reasons for distancing yourself from him, he knows there is something else that he still can't quite figure it out.

"Y/N, if you're upset because I didn't tell you about the plans my mother and grandsire had for me-

"No, no, I assure you it's not that," you hasten to say, hiding your sadness and disappointment, "It would eventually happen, wouldn't it?" you shrug, trying to smile genuinely towards him, but you can't, "You must do your duty and I will too, sooner or later," you say, lowering your gaze.

Aemond is speechless for a moment, watching you and nothing else, still feeling the guilt inside, while you struggle to contain your true emotions and shout to him in that moment that you love him, let him know once and for all, though it won't change anything.

"Y/N..." he murmurs, his barely audible voice full of bewilderment and a hint of pain, "Still I didn't want to-

"No, no... it's not your fault," you say again quickly, struggling to keep your composure, "Truly, it's all right. I should leave now."

He lets out a sigh, lowering his gaze for a second to look at you in concert with longing and concern.

"Can we please talk about this? I don't want things to end up like this between us."

"Don't worry," you try to smile genuinely at him, but rather a grimace appears on your lips, "I'm sure we can meet in the hallways and talk at the feast."

You tell him in a confident and assured tone, but even you know that won't be true.

"Oh and... hum... congratulations on your upcoming nuptials," you say with a lump in your throat and a forced smile on your lips.

To you, the falsity of your congratulations echoes in the air, a subtle echo of disappointment and resignation flooding your heart. Aemond tries to say something with the right words, but you don't give him the time as you finally move forward and no one stops you, each step echoing with the heaviness of what could have been and was not.

But just when you think you've managed to get far enough away, a hand gently lands on your arm, once again stopping you.

"Wait, please."

Aemond's voice sounds full of urgency and longing, making your breath catch for a second. And when you turn to look at him with the clear resignation and sadness in your gaze, his look reveals a mixture of torment and determination, frustration as well.

"I did not wish for this, Y/N," he confesses truthfully, his voice soft and emotionally charged. "It is not my desire to marry Lord Borros' daughter. That is not what I wish for myself."

Your eyes fill with tears as you hear his words, surprise in your gaze. And he stares directly into your eyes with despair, as if his thoughts are trying to be conveyed through his gaze.

And even though you have nothing to say regarding that, he continues with a confession that takes your breath away.

"Y/N..." he whispers, his expression heavy with longing. "If I had a choice, if the decision were mine, I would not hesitate in....

His words hang in the air, causing confusion in you for a moment, but as you watch him closely, his gaze speaks for him.

He watches you with attention, longing and hope, adoringly seeing the way your beautiful purple dress highlights your figure and beauty, with those precious and discreet jewels adorning your neck and fingers... his woman.

He shows you his affection and expresses it simply by observing you that he doesn't need to say anything else aloud. The meaning of her words is dispersed between the two of you, revealing a shared desire and a deep connection.

As you, upon understanding, surprise and hope collide within you, leaving you breathless at the implicit, yet clear revelation. Emotions intertwine in a whirlwind of feelings as the weight of his words sink deep within you. Your heart only beats faster, unable to believe what you are hearing, as time seems to have stopped, unable to speak.

And only then there, you can feel joy in knowing that your feelings are reciprocated, but the pain of knowing that it is now too late, simply ruins everything and fills you with pain.

"Why are you saying it until now?" you whisper with your voice broken and your gaze lowered.

"Y/N, please-

You don't let him say anything else, as with a lump in your throat and tears streaming down your cheeks, a sight Aemond doesn't like to see, you turn away from him more quickly and walk out of the library, leaving him alone with the weight of these confessions and unspoken words.

Also with a heart full of regret.

The news of your courtship came weeks after the last time you spoke to Aemond in the library.

You definitely did not expect to hear that at all, as you felt like you had been unexpectedly punched hard in your stomach and a sharp pain settled in your chest as your father spoke complacently about how he received two advantageous offers for the asking of your hand, Lord Ronan Redwyne and Lord Alan Beesbury.

Despite your father's efforts to express the importance and political benefits of such possible unions, to you it was as if the air itself had become heavier and stifling.

Only on this occasion the Gods had been good to you, as both men are the same age as you, so the fear of having to marry a man who multiplies your age and was surely going to be bad to you evaporates.

But still, you feel trapped and obligated.

Of course, your parents are quick to push you to start having conversations with both men to see which of the two is the most suitable for you.

Lord Alan, with his refined presence and gentle smile, known to be a skilled knight, is kind and very gentlemanly. You always see his attempt to make you feel comfortable with his presence, also in the topics of conversation that arise between the two, telling you about his home, his family, some stories and sharing some wishes with you.

You appreciate that, as you can tell he's doing his best, but even so, your mind reels at the thought of him being the possible candidate to take your hand, which adds another layer of complexity to your situation.

The same goes for Lord Ronan.

Despite his kindness, chivalry and the attractiveness of his face, you find no peace in the situation. You don't even care that they are both advantageous for a future marriage, all you want is freedom, to wait a little longer until you heal.

But at least you are being given the choice, a privilege not many women get from their parents when it comes time to marry and simply sell them as a trophy to the first advantageous man.

"It's a beautiful day, don't you think, my Lady?" says Ronan, breaking the silence between the two as you stroll through the Red Keep gardens.

"Yes, it is," you reply with a forced smile, lowering your gaze, keeping your pace slow.

He watches you intently.

"I just want you to know that I am eager to get to know you better, my Lady," he tells you gently and formally, "And any questions you have about me, you can tell me. Also any thoughts you have, I will be pleased to hear them."

You nod politely, feeling a little uncomfortable about the situation, unable to help yourself. And though you truly appreciate Ronan's kindness, your heart still yearns for something that now eludes you.

As you continue the walk, you strive to find something in Ronan, anything, just as you do whenever you are in Lord Alan's company, but you always fail. And even though neither of them is a bad man, you know that they too are caught up in choosing a future wife that is not entirely of their choosing.

"I thank you for your kindness, my Lord."

You say in a sincere voice, looking him in the eyes for the first time since you had started the walk,

"And also for your interest. Not many men are interested in the thoughts of women these days."

Ronan places a kind and understanding little smile on his lips, nodding in your direction.

"There is nothing to be thankful for, my Lady. And I know it's only a short time since we've begun to know each other, but I enjoy your company."

You nod again, keeping your gaze straight ahead, unable to help but feel how you still feel overwhelmed by the weight of courtship and the fact that you will soon marry him or Lord Alan.

And at the same time, reality dawns on you with undeniable clarity: Ronan and Alan are good men, but neither is him.

While both may be honorable companions, your heart still yearns for someone you can't have, feeling utterly sad and resigned, because it's not fair, not to the two of them either.

But how can you make those feelings go away fast?

And just when things couldn't be more unexpected for you, as you turn down one of the bush paths along with Ronan, you both find yourselves face to face with Aemond accompanied by Lady Floris at his side, who were walking in the opposite direction.

And the air is enveloped with immediate tension.

You knew that eventually the news of your courtship with two possible candidates to give your hand in marriage would reach Aemond's ears, but when your eyes involuntarily meet his, you see only dissatisfaction and restrained fury.

This triggers a whirlwind of emotions within you, trying to disguise your surprise and discomfort, also nerves, as well as you try to focus on your companion, trying to move on and appear unaffected by this.

"Lady Y/N," Lady Floris greets politely with a smile, breaking the silence, "Lord Ronan," she address him, "How lovely to see you both this morning."

"Lady Floris," you reply, trying to remain calm, then look almost fearfully at Aemond, "Prince Aemond," you tilt your head slightly, biting the inside of your cheek.

"My Lady," he answers you in a soft tone.

Ronan at your side also greets Lady Floris in a respectful manner, then turns to Aemond.

"My prince."

"Lord Ronan," says Aemond, in a dismissive tone, observing you attentively and at the same time in seriousness.

Aemond's tone does not go unnoticed by you, with an intensity on his face that does not go unnoticed either, as you struggle to remain calm in the face of the uncomfortable situation.

It is clear that Ronan's presence at your side does not please him at all.

As Lady Floris at his side, she attempts to carry on a polite conversation, oblivious to the tension that has taken over the moment.

"I would like to offer my best wishes to you both on your courtship," Lady Floris begins to say kindly, "Fortunately the prince and I are in the same place as you and understand what it can be to have expectations high in families if you decide to join your houses."

You feel more the knot in your stomach and the discomfort all over your body, not daring to say anything regarding that, while Aemond remains just as silent as you.

And fortunately Ronan is the one who appreciates Floris' gesture, while Aemond keeps his eye on you with an expressionless but penetrating gaze, also watching Ronan from time to time.

"Thank you, my Lady," Ronan replies courteously, "Your words are most kind and we wish you both well in your future marriage."

"Of course. We hope to see you both at our upcoming wedding," Floris adds with a kind and visibly excited smile, while you again feel your heart give a painful jump.

And since you say nothing, nor does Aemond, Ronan hastens to speak.

"Of course, my Lady. We will see you there."

With pain in your eyes, your gaze involuntarily drifts to Aemond for a brief moment, where he is already watching you. And in that fleeting moment, the looks in both of your eyes convey more than words can express.

With a polite bow, the four of you take your leave and each pair continues on their own way.

You try to focus on your steps along with Ronan's, but the echo of tension and unspoken feelings leave an unpleasant sensation throughout your body. And that's when you hope that soon, both you and he will find peace in your respective futures.

But it didn't look like that was going to happen anytime soon. Neither did acceptance.

Aemond continued the rest of his walk with Floris in the gardens with his mind still focused on the encounter with you and that boy clearly unworthy of you. He didn't even pay attention to what Floris was talking about, he had not the slightest interest and obliged, he had to complete his walk with her contributing very little to the conversation.

Even he himself could not avoid the feeling of suffocation and frustration that invaded him. Seeing Y/N, his Y/N, next to that poor boy, one of his possible candidates to take her hand in marriage, provoked a mixture of indescribable emotions inside him and he made a great effort to keep his composure.

He feels furious and emotionally on the verge of exploding, like a mad man, with impotence filling him with rage.

Why should she marry a man who was not him? Why should he be forced to witness her courtship with another man? Why couldn't he have realized that she also loves him the same way he loves her and reacted sooner?

He felt that he was really going to go crazy, so as soon as he bids farewell to Floris and leaves her in the company of the other ladies of the Court, he heads for the training yard.

Big mistake.

As soon as his presence arrives at this place of the Red Keep, the figure of Lord Ronan pulls him out of his thoughts and draws his full attention.

At least he has the decency to hold a sword.

He thinks to himself, watching as he finds himself engrossed in his own training, accompanied by other knights, practicing his sword moves. He also thinks about focusing on his own training, but finds it a better idea to meet the candidate of his dear friend Y/N, wanting to know what truly awaits her.

After all, Lord Ronan is not the only candidate, Lord Alan also frequents the training yard and will eventually see him as well. So with a determined step, he approaches him.

"Lord Ronan," he says in a cool but controlled tone as he approaches, heading towards the weapons table.

"Prince Aemond," Ronan replies, stopping his training and turning to him, "It is good to see you here as well, my prince."

His gaze assesses Ronan closely, noting his every gesture and movement. And despite the anger still flowing through his veins, he remains calm, not revealing too much of his thoughts.

"I guess you don't train enough at home. House Redwyne is best known for making sweet wine from the grapes that grow on your island," he comments neutrally, watching Ronan's position with meticulous attention.

"Ah... no, my prince," Ronan says politely, "I have had training lessons with the sword, among other weapons, since I was a young boy. So have other members of my family and I assure you we are well trained," he replies, adjusting the position of his sword, "After all, a knight must remain prepared at all times."

"Hm," he says seriously, "And that is what you have accomplished with so many years of training?"

Ronan remains calm in the face of the prince's critical gaze, though Aemond's insinuation resonates with a defiant tone.

"P-pardon me?"

"With those moves is that how you're going to ensure protection for your future wife?" he inquires with a dismissive tone, challenging Ronan with his words.

Tension begins to be felt in the air, the verbal confrontation slipping between the two men. And though Ronan maintains his composure, not wanting his words to affect him, the disdain in the prince's words does not go unnoticed.

"Appearances can be deceiving, my prince," Ronan said calmly, controlling each word to convey determination, "And my duty as protector of my future wife is not limited to combat alone. I suppose there are more important aspects."

Aemond tilts his head, watching him in confusion.

"And what aspects are those, my Lord?" he asks, clearly disinterested.

"Loyalty, anticipation and sacrifice," he replied determinedly. "Protection goes beyond sword skills; it involves being willing to give your all for the person you are sworn to protect."

Ronan's words echoed in the air, filling the space between them with a seriousness that could not be ignored. And Aemond, his brow furrowed, lets out a sigh and watches him more seriously than before.

"Do you hear yourself, my lord? Speaking like the ladies of the Court who read and listen to love ballads," he snaps, watching him in disapproval, "Loyalty, anticipation and sacrifice are not going to protect your future wife from a life-threatening attack," he says and then turns away, taking his sword and a shield from the table.

Ronan swallows hard.

"You need not worry, my prince. Still I assure you that I am well prepared for combat."

"Oh yeah?" he looks at him expectantly, turning to him with his weapons in hands, "Then prove it."

Ronan looks a little confused.

"My prince-

"Come on," he interrupts him, egging him on with defiance, discontent and agitation in his tone and look, "If you're as skillful as you proclaim, then prove it."

The atmosphere grows more tense, as Aemond waits for Ronan to accept his challenge and prove his worth beyond words. Both men hold each other's gazes firmly, with the tension increasing by the second, but neither takes a step back.

The confrontation becomes tangible. Glares charged with a subtle but unmistakable rivalry. And without further words, the air filled with the anticipation of the physical training ahead, as the two head to the center of the training yard, each preparing in their own way.

Aemond tightens his grip on his sword and without hesitation, lunges towards Ronan with fierce determination, causing the poor knight to have little anticipation to protect himself from his sword, but managing to dodge it and answer him in kind.

At first it appears to be casual training, yet Aemond wants to get a reaction out of him.

And between every clash of swords and every move full of speed and precision, at every failure of Ronan, Aemond taunts and shouts questions and insults at him in a defiant voice while demanding superior performance.

And at every failure and every taunt, Ronan's determination grows, also inevitably to the prince's provocations.

"Is that all you can do!?"

Aemond exclaims arrogantly to him, wiping the sweat from his brow, trying to unsettle him.

Ronan growls and focuses on his movements, responding with brutality and force, trying to answer every blow he threw at him, which to Aemond, couldn't be more pathetic and weak movements.

"This is what you plan to defend yourself with? This is what you have learned?" he inquires, mockingly, "What a shame."

Ronan lowers his sword a little, watching him in bewilderment and panting in exhaustion.

"My prince-

He tries to say but Aemond won't let him.

"No," he tells him seriously, "Be a fucking man and fight me back."

Aemond raises his sword again and slams it against his, causing him to lose his balance, while Ronan as best he can defends himself from their attacks, while the combat begins to attract the attention of the other knights and some people of the Court.

And only when Aemond sees that they have just started and he can no longer stand and does not even have more strength in his arms, the confrontation went from a simple duel to a battle without mercy.

And he in a fit of anger and frustration, leads to hit him with his foot in the chest with excessive force, making him gasp in pain and throwing him to the ground, and then walk quickly towards him, with purpose, raising his sword, so Ronan quickly tries to get up, raising his sword, blocking his attack.

Then Aemond's sword dangerously grazes Ronan's shoulder, knocking him back to the ground with a blow to his side.

"My prince-

"You yield!?" he exclaims to him in his madness, bringing the point of his sword to his throat.

"Yes! I yield!"

"Just like that!? So easy!?"

"Prince Aemond!"

He hears someone shout in the distance but he focuses entirely on Ronan below him.

"I yield!"

"He's bleeding!"

"My prince!" comes Criston Cole immediately.

And only at that moment does Aemond stop, breathing shakily, his gaze with barely contained fury. And only at that moment he also notices that Ronan has a wound on his shoulder with which he had brushed his sword earlier, not realizing at the time that he had wounded him.

Ronan presses his free hand to the wound, trying to stop the bleeding, watching him in horror and clearly calling for help.

Aemond squeezes his sword again so hard that it marks his white knuckles, watching everyone around him for a moment, then with a hard stare, turning to him again, angling his body so that only he can hear him.

"You are not worthy of her," he whispers in a low voice, his words laden with disdain and resentment.

And without caring about the stares or even her opponent's injury, he leaves the shield on the ground and with his sword in hand heads towards the interior of the Red Keep's castle.

Aemond knew that eventually what happened at the training yard would reach your ears. He also expected a confrontation about it, but he didn't imagine he would face your fury late at night.

His guards are required to stand guard in different hallways, so taking advantage of the fact that there are none in the hallway by his doors, you quickly make your way there to enter his chamber as fast as your body will allow.

He looks up from his book in his lap, sitting near the fireplace, watching you attentively at once, but before he can say anything, you turn to him with your lips pressed together and annoyance in your eyes.

"Have you lost your mind?" you inquire in a serious and demanding tone, looking for explanations.

And just like you, Aemond isn't having your attitude either. He's annoyed to see how you haven't taken any time at all to come to the defense of that stupid, poor, defenseless boy.

Putting his book aside, he stands up, imposing his presence on you. Despite having to raise your face to face him directly, you don't let his posture intimidate you.

"I see that that... Ronan matters too much to you, my Lady," he says in a dismissive tone, "It took you no time at all to fall for his sure sweet words and promises of love. After all, you and he are very much alike."

You inhale deeply before responding, seeking calm despite his attitude and the tone of his words.

"Ronan and I are getting to know each other, nothing more. Just as you are getting to know Floris Baratheon. But I'm not doing anything against you, yours is for sure, she's going to be your wife. But you can't go hurting and almost killing the men who can be my future husband."

He looks away from yours for a moment, irritated.

"I don't know what you expected, honestly," he tells you seriously and indifferently, "That's what happens in combat when we fight with weapons, Y/N, men get hurt. And if Ronan is weak and wasn't taught well, that's not my problem."

You stand your ground, incredulous to hear his words.

"That doesn't justify what you did. Everyone witnessed how the combat began and it was you who unfairly exploded against him, hurting him," you reproach him with determination. "His wound was deep. He needed eight stitches!"

Aemond, sick of this, averts his gaze from yours and turns his back on you, heading towards his table to pour himself a glass of wine under your confused and incredulous gaze.

"I don't understand why you're so worried, he'll be fine. After all, you still have another possible candidate for your hand, I hear," he says in a tone devoid of emotion, laden with bitterness, "Though I doubt he's much stronger than Ronan."

His voice sounds harsh, his words laden with a bitter resentment that he can barely hide, jealous.

"So this is how things will be?"

You ask him earnestly and sadly, fighting back tears that threaten to escape at any moment.

"You'll go around hurting my suitors until there are none left and I have no chance of marrying anyone else but not you either?"

Tension hangs in the air as you wait for his response, feeling the weight of your words and the clash of emotions between the two of you.

And he remains silent, staring out the window with a hard stare, as if not looking for an answer through the glass, turning his back to you and not daring to look at you at that moment.

Finally the first tear rolls down your cheek and Aemond listens as you gently sniffle your nose, then turns to you, his face showing a mixture of emotions, from hardness to the flash of regret and longing.

And he lets out a defeated sigh.

"That's not what this is about, Y/N," he murmurs in a softer tone, his expression revealing his inner struggle, "They're not worthy of you. Your father is choosing wrong."

And that's when you explode with anger and frustration, unable to contain yourself any longer.

"I just don't understand why you care so much, Aemond!" you exclaim without understanding, "You shouldn't see them as a threat because they are not. You have nothing to do here!"

You face him, as your tears fall silently, with a defiant look and your posture firm, though full of sadness, anguish and confusion, inside and outside. And he too responds to you in kind.

"Of course I do!" he turns to you angrily, exclaiming in his fury, "This does concern me because those fucking men and your father are going to take you away from me! And they have no right!"

And again your emotions boil over, fury and pain getting the best of you.

"Do you even listen to yourself? How irrational you are being?" you inquire, not understanding, "You didn't even do anything in the beginning, you are the prince, the one who had the power to do something about it and you never even once asked for my hand!" you shout at him, your voice full of reproach, sadness and disappointment.

Furious, Aemond turns around and in a burst of anger, throws his hand towards the table, causing the wine jar and the cups to fall to the floor with a deafening clatter. The sudden sound makes you jump and recoil, startled by the noise and force of the act.

He turns his back and heads for the back of his chair, leaning hard against it as he tries to contain his fury. With her breathing rapid and agitated he struggles to regain his composure, his body tensing and closing his eye tightly.

The air becomes tense and the silence uncomfortable, as Aemond fights against himself and you just allow yourself to cry silently.

When he speaks again, with a tinge of bitterness in his gaze, still not turning to look at you and his voice soft but laden with resignation, still holding back his fury.

"I wanted to," he confesses to you, his vulnerability visible, "But my mother and grandsire would never have approved, you know that."

His statement leaves you speechless, with a mixture of sadness and disappointment that he didn't even try, not once and yet...he has the nerve to do this to you.

You remain silent and the disappointment and bitterness reflect even more on your face as the tears run their course, to finally gather your courage and speak.

"Then... let me go," you whisper, it being more of a painful plea than a command.

Silence expands in the room, marking every second with the heaviness of unresolved emotions. And you, overwhelmed with disappointment and pain, understand that you have nothing more to do here and turn to leave.

You don't even care if one of the guards sees you coming out of his chamber, you don't even care if rumors arise seeing you here late at night and everything gets too complicated, you just need to get out of here soon.

And with tears still running down your cheeks and being completely heartbroken, you grab the doorknob. But just as you are about to turn it, his firm and determined hand lands on your waist and turns you towards him, stopping you.

The action takes you by surprise and you look at him without understanding, he doesn't give you time to say anything either as he places one hand on your cheek and the other keeps it firmly on your waist, bringing his body close to yours.

And still without reacting, he moves closer, his warm breath brushing against your face.

"I can't," he murmurs, his voice cracking with anguish, laden with longing and regret, "I can't," he repeats in a whisper, gently caressing your cheek, "I'm sorry."

And just then, without a thought for anyone else and without a care in the world, his lips trap yours in a passionate, desperate kiss.

Paralyzed, surprise takes you completely and you can only feel how every movement of his lips is a mixture of apology and desire, asking you to kiss him back.

His arms wrap firmly around you, clinging to you as if he's going to lose you at any moment. And unable to resist a second longer, with his soft lips and warm mouth on top of yours, he makes the world fade away around you in that instant and you kiss him back.

You place your arms around his neck and cling to him completely, moving your lips in sync with his, as he presses your body against his and lets out a gasp at the wonderful feeling of having you this way with him.

And you feel as if you are floating, this being exactly what you had dreamed and prayed for so much, wishing and praying to the Gods that this is not also one of your cruel dreams.

But this is real. It is finally happening.

So you allow yourself to lose yourself completely in it, not thinking about the consequences and not caring about anything else, as Aemond walks you around without stopping kissing you for a single moment, until his feet touch the edge of his bed.

"I love you. I love you so much, my sweet girl."

He whispers into your lips, watching you with all that love and desire in his gaze, noticing your swollen and parted lips, watching him back with the same intensity and completely surprised to hear his words.

And without saying anything back, with the actions speaking for themselves, you kiss him again, feeling that urge to cry, but of happiness.

Aemond falls down sitting on the edge of his bed and you take a seat on his lap, placing your knees on either side of his hips, clinging to his neck and kissing him slow, deep, making you feel everything.

"I love you too," you murmur against his lips, watching him with nothing but affection and desire.

He kisses you again desperately, feeling something warm in his chest at your words, holding your waist with one of his hands and the other beginning to lift the edges of your skirt, making his way to touch your bare thigh.

You gasp into his lips, feeling his warm hand and the cool metal of his rings, only to tilt your head as he begins to leave soft, wet kisses down your neck, trying to find your sensitive spot to make you shiver.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs, leaving a kiss on your collarbone, lifting his gaze to you.

"A-aemond," you gasp, feeling the hardness beneath you.

You reach up with one of your hands and remove his eye patch, wanting to see everything about him, instantly reflecting the faint light of his blue sapphire, looking so beautiful and dazzling.

You smile softly at the sight of him, then leave a soft kiss on his cheek, beginning to leave a small trail down his face to kiss him on the lips, as his hand on your thigh makes gentle, firm strokes on your skin.

Slowly, he lifts his hand from your waist to the laces of your dress, watching you attentively afterwards and needing first of all your permission. And you help him untie the knots yourself.

Your front of the dress loosens and revealing your white gown underneath, Aemond lifts one of his hands and gently traces your skin between the valley of your breasts, making you shudder and shiver, then stops at the straps, watching you again.

"May I?"

With the blush on your cheeks and the nerves in your lower abdomen, really wanting to do this, you nod.

"Yes."

His hand slowly slides the strap down your shoulder and arm, then exposes your breasts to him, making you feel more nervous, but you feel completely safe to be doing this with him.

Truly everything that happens next, giving him your mainhead and letting his calloused hands explore all over your naked body, is by choice and you think to yourself that if there is one man you would willingly trust with this, it's him.

And just as the tip of his hot, hard, heavy cock makes its way between your walls, he knows exactly how to comfort you and make you feel comfortable. Instantly blood stains his sheets, but he doesn't care at all.

And when he begins to move inside you, slowly and very carefully, waiting for you to get used to it, he wipes away every tear that escapes your eyes and comforts you with his hands and kisses, making sure that at all times you are well.

"You feel so fucking good, so warm and tight, my love."

And despite his obscene words, his actions are anything but, his movements careful and careful not to hurt you, asking you how you feel.

He kisses you sweetly and caresses your breasts, he makes sure to pleasure you too, as he understands that this is not just about him and the act is not just about fucking, but him making love to you.

He growls into your lips and you gasp as he begins to move with more purpose inside you, feeling the sweat all over your body and forehead, clinging to his shoulders and gently digging your nails into his skin also lightly illuminated by sweat.

"Do you have any idea how long I imagine this?" he whispers against your lips, moving his hips and pounding that sweet spot inside you, making you moan beneath him.

But he quiets your moans with his lips, not wanting anyone out there to hear you, it would be too risky.

"Aemond," you say his name in a moan, biting your lips.

"What's wrong, my sweet girl? Does it hurt?" he says to start moving more gently.

"N-no. It just... feels so good," you manage to say over the sensual movement of his hips that make you see stars behind your eyes.

The act doesn't last long and very soon Aemond makes you reach your highest point, making you experience a sensation you had no idea about all over your body and he also spills all his seed inside you, grunting and moaning from the pleasure as he feels your walls squeezing him deliciously.

And then, both of you sweaty and trying to catch your breath, you embrace and take a moment in his bed.

You feel a tingle between your legs that is more than gratifying and Aemond, for the first time in a long time, feels at peace and completely at ease, especially having you in his arms at this moment.

There was no time for regrets and worries, it was all done. So the two of you dive into that little world where only the two of you exist.

But even though you didn't want to think about it, you think about the future, with uncertainty beginning to invade you, as you inhale Aemond's scent, hiding your face between his neck and chest, embracing him as he encloses you in his arms and gently caresses your bare shoulder with his thumb, listening to his soft breathing above you.

You let out a sigh, close your eyes and wish you could stay like this forever, starting to feel your eyes water and that huge worry in your chest for what you just did.

When Aemond speaks.

"In the morrow I will talk to your father and ask for your hand."

He says in a soft voice and everything in you comes to a complete standstill, listening to him attentively.

"I'm sure he won't be able to resist my proposal. No one will be able to stop us when they know I have claimed your mainhead, not even my mother and grandsire. And then... we will have our Valyrian wedding and there will be no turning back," he murmurs and then places a soft smile on his lips, "You will be mine, as much as you already are now."

You feel him leave a soft kiss in your hair and you smile softly, moving closer towards him, if possible.

"Sounds like an excellent plan, my love," you whisper, grateful.

And finally you can be at peace now.

[illyrian-dreamer]

Dance with the devil – Part 1

Rhysand x fem!reader series

Summary: You attempt to rob the High Lord of the Night Court.

Words: 3.3k

TW: Violence, death

Notes: Morally grey Rhysand below the cuff 😈😈😈

»»——-　★　——-«« ★ »»——-　★　——-««

Tick, tick, tick.

That stern voice nagged in your mind, laced with forewarning and impatience that only frustrated you further. 

You had just minutes to find the scroll and get out. 

With gritted teeth, you leaned closer, drowning out that voice - likely your mothers - as well as the drumming of your heart, waiting for that final click. 

You were versed in charming locks, picking them when you had to, just as you did now. And what waited on the other side of this door was worth every swallow of bile, every rise and swell of panic that begged you to think of the consequence - of what would happen if you were caught. 

It was only a half-moon prior that you had snuck into the infamous libraries of the Day Court while the city slept, hunting concealed maps and etchings of Helion’s castle. You studied the corridors and winding staircases of the impressive home, squinting through the flickering glow of the small fae light you had allowed yourself to cast, anxious eyes lifting reluctantly every so often, humouring the phantom furl of a page or shiver down your spine. 

So you pressed those routes to memory – sewers, plumbing, hidden passageways marked in some maps and not others. They were your only true salvage if things went wrong.  

Weapons were now strapped to every part of your leathers that would allow, layers of magic shielding your scent and sound so strong it made your joints ache, as if buckling under their weight.

Easy in, easy out, quick on your feet and don't look back.

That mantra was your only comfort as you silently slipped into the lavish guest suite, a breath of relief that its layout matched your efforts of breaking into the libraries. Because although night never found this court, there was only a small window in which the High Lords were away from their suites, and time was a persistent foe. 

It was incredibly risky to break into the guest quarters of the High Lord of the Night Court, especially after Hellion had declared his home a neutral grounds for the High Lord’s meeting. But what Rhysand possessed was invaluable – that scroll of ancient tongue, the only one of it’s kind. It was worth the risk of your own life, of certain death if you were caught.

Careful, gloved fingers sifted through the papers on the desk, making sure not to leave anything out of place. 

The details you had gained on the High Lord were valuable – he was neat, more than neat, really – his room immaculate and organised. A paper left rippled, a chair at a slight angle, even a stray hair on the sprawling marble floor – all were things he would surely notice. 

But you could tread lightly, could play to that game of fine detail. Nimble as a mouse – that’s how your father had always described you, affection warming his face as he compared you to your boisterous brother. 

With a clench of your heart, you forced the memory out. Once you had that scroll – soon. You would be together again soon.

As you crouched low to sift through the chestnut draws, mahogany carved with the kind of finery that made you sick, a hint of gold gleamed from the corner of the room, the light catching your eye. 

Padding with quiet creaks from your boots, you allowed yourself only a moment to admire the array of scrolls that lay in the wooden chest – it’s lid tipped open, beckoning to be explored. In the centre perched the most exotic of the artefacts. Boring rings of gold, it winked at you, a true diamond in the rough. 

With gentle inspection, you traced the characters etched in it’s casing, a cryptic ode of ancient tongue. 

A whisper of magic kissed your face, stray hairs dancing as goosebumps prickling beneath your leathers. It was waft of excitement, danger, magic aged by civilisations – this was a powerful scroll indeed.

With a hand on each end of the casing, you gently lifted the scroll into your satchel, careful not to knock it or disturb the casing. You would return it after all, once traced.

There was a shift in the air then, and a sinking feeling rippled through your abdomen, like a stone dropped into still water.

Get out – that voice urged. 

You had spent too long here already. 

Swallowing the fastening hammer of your heart, you raised from your knees, eyeing the unsuspecting cupboard  – behind it a hidden door, and behind that a winding pathway would lead you clear to the gardens.

You almost scoffed – this was easier than you had thought.

How could the High Lord be so reckless to leave something of this value lying about? 

The pit of your stomach deepened. 

Too easy – much, much too easy. 

An open, gaping well. 

Oh gods, this was a–

And then darkness – everywhere. 

You gasped, catching glimpses of red and blue as you staggered back. Your back hit something solid – no, someone. Strong arms gripped yours wrists, pinning them behind you. You tried to yell, but your breath hitched as violet eyes glowered amongst the tendrils of midnight smog, choking any sound that whined in your throat. 

“Well well, what do we have here?” a sultry voice purred, a refined silhouette emerging from the darkness, tall and broad. 

A gleam of teeth pulled with a feline smile, the figure prowling closer. Dangerous, lethal, ever knowing with a hint of cockiness.

And as tendrils of night magic cleared around their master, the High Lord of the Night Court was revealed.

Rhysand’s eyes danced with amusement as he watched realisation set in – your own features taut with horror. 

“Hello, Y/N darling.”

You were dead meat.

A heavy, intrusive sensation caused a shiver to rack through you as phantom claws tore through your useless shields, and you were suddenly overwhelmed by the scent of your own fear. 

Rhysand’s pretty grin only grew.

In a hopeless attempt to flee, you barely moved an inch as you tugged against the impossible grip on your arms.

He was closing in, coldness seeping from him as his magic curling in on itself, devouring any hints of warmth from the room, from your own veins. 

And then he stopped, just one agonising pace shy from your heaving chest. 

Here he was – High Lord of the Night Court. Wickedly cruel, arrogant and unnervingly calm, a cat who toyed with its food. The legendary villain of whispered rumours and horror stories exchanged amongst children of your village in the court of Dawn, parents so tired from their youngens loss of sleep that he was a banished name from many households.

Your eyes danced with a panic as instincts forced you to look for any chance of survival. Dressed with finery, but not a weapon on him – that was good. 

But as the shadows began to clear, another male was revealed perching patiently against the wall behind, blue siphons flickering as he stood with wide legs, arms crossed and face stoic. Azriel, the Shadowsinger and Spymaster, waited patiently for your attempt of escape, his own shadows at the ready. 

Fuck.

That meant the male that bound you was Cassian – Warlord and Chief General of the Illyrian armies. 

You were as good as dead.

Your breathing stuttered as you swallowed the plea for mercy begging at your lips. They were going to kill you, that was certain. You could only hope they would do it quickly.

“My my, Y/N,” Rhysand drawled, his voice playful and sensual. “We weren't certain if you were going to take the bait.” 

Placing hands on knees, he lowered himself to your level, those violet eyes captivating you, their depth incomprehensible. You tried to break Rhys’s gaze, but you rendered helpless, realising the cruel use of his magic. 

“But I’m so glad this is how we get to meet.”

He was expecting you? 

You glared back, your breaths quickening at the dangerous proximity.

If not at his mercy, you would have spat at his condescending manner. But instead you fought aimlessly against Cassian’s hold, the male pulling you back against his chest with a jarring tug, his grip tightening until you felt your pulse in your wrists. 

Your mind was scattering with each second, frantic eyes dancing at the High Lord before you. You hadn't expected him to be so… handsome. 

“Why, thank you,” Rhys cocked an eyebrow at you, that cat like grin exchanged for a lob-sided one. 

Had he just–? You scowled, cursing him silently. His abilities as a deamanti also deeming true.

Rhysand chuckled at your foul words, his laugh unexpectedly soft. “Such a feisty thing you are,” he commented, raking his purple eyes down your body. You suddenly felt incredibly exposed, despite the layers of leathers and weaponry you wore. 

“Let me go,” you spat hoarsely, heaving against the General once more. 

“You’re not in any position to make that request,” Cassian huffed, pulling back on the little distance you had gained. His voice was gruff as it hummed through your back.

You turned your head to look at the Warlord for the first time. He too, like the other males in the room, was noticeably handsome. His long hair fell into his face as he looked down at you, his eyes almost as amused as his High Lord. 

Were you just a joke to them?

“Oh, sweet Y/N, you’re not a joke at all. We’re actually quiet impressed by you,” Rhysand toyed, his eyebrows raised with a mocking tone. “We know you’ve been trailing us for months, Azriel here picked up on your movements in our court a whole quarter year ago.”

You flicked your eyes to the Spymaster, his position and face unmoving at his mention. You couldn't help your scowl at the male who was responsible to securing your death. 

“What we didn't expect, was for you to make it this far,” Rhysand continued with a chuckle, his head shaking in playful dismay.

Great – now on top of everything else, you were completely insulted.

“That’s why we set this trap for you. So we could finally meet.”

You frowned at Rhysand. You had been so careful, so stealthy about all your work in spying on the High Lord, slaving over maps and reports until you could no longer keep your eyes open, using the little money you had to buy off secrecy, and always covering your tracks. But it still hadn't been enough.

“Don’t look so disheartened, little mouse,” Rhysand purred, before he picked a piece of lint off his fitted black jacket. “The fact that you were able to break into my quarters alone is incredibly impressive.”

It had in fact, taken a lot of work. To sneak into Hellion’s home had taken three disenchantment spells, and compromised a suite of his guards who were yet to rise from their enchanted slumber. The locks and spells on Rhysand’s chamber were another thing in itself. 

“What will you do with me?” you gritted, glaring between the males in front of you, desperate to know your fate.

Rhysand dipped his head back and laughed, his posture too calm, too casual. 

“What will we do with you, hmm?” he repeated, and a shrinking instinct finding you, one that you hadn't felt since you were a child.

“Perhaps the question is, what would you like us to do with you?” It was a lovers voice, sensual and suggestive. 

You couldn't help the thunder of your heart as his scent filled your nose, crudely laced with arousal as it found you with a phantom wind.

Rhysand was on you then, his face inches from your own as swirls of night filled your vision, his violet eyes the only light you could see. 

You gasped at the sight before you – it was beautiful, but so, so deadly. 

“I don’t like having my things taken from me, Y/N.” Rhysand growled, his voice now cold, unforgiving. Those same claws that tore your shields now traced the outskirts if your mind, talons sinking slightly in warning. 

Despite the little pain, it was instinct to scream.

You tried to make quick peace at the thought of his violet eyes being the last thing you would ever see.

Open your eyes, he commanded mind to mind. 

Without realising you had closed them, you found yourself unable to disobey.

Rhysand withdrew as quickly as he had pounced, his darkness disappearing with him as he slid his hands into his pockets, rocking on fine shoes. His behaviour was erratic, such a contrast to the moment before. 

“Of course, it would be such a waste of good talent.” He shrugged nonchalantly, as if he hadn’t toyed with your very consciousness just moments before. 

You watched him pace, your eyes flicking to the spymaster once more, before noting the exits of the room you knew well. 

“You don't stand a chance,” Azriel spoke plainly, his hand fingering one of many blades strapped to his strong frame. A warning, from one spy to another.

Rhysand grinned between you two, running a smooth hand through his black-blue hair. 

Was he entertained by the idea that you were willing to give a fight? 

You felt a low rumble from Cassian’s chest, all three males daring you to challenge them in their own way. 

Azriel was right – it was suicide to try. 

Rhysand hummed with pleasure, reading your submission as your body sagged every so slightly. 

“I’ll tell you what, Y/N. I’ll make you a deal.” 

A bargain, a promise, and perhaps a riddle from Prythian’s deadliest High Lord. 

“I’d rather you kill me,” you said tightly. 

Rhysand laughed again, and you felt the movements of Cassian’s chuckle from behind. 

“Oh, sweetheart. Surely there’s a tad more fight in you than that?” 

You scowled in return. 

Rhysand approached you again, now holding the scroll of ancient tongue. 

“What do you know of this scroll?” he asked.

“Nothing.”

“Try again.”

You winced. “I don't know anything.”

Rhysand tutted. “Little liar,” he grinned at you, his violet eyes sparkling with challenge. “I’ll ask one more time,” he sang.

You felt them again, and it took all you had to not crumble at Cassian’s boots at the flooding pain as Rhysand dragged a singular, scraping talon across your mind and back. 

“Resurrection!” you yelped – a half breath, half scream escaping you as your legs gave out. Cassian held you up, your body rigid as Rhysand’s talon pierced your mind further. The pain was blinding, eliciting a howl from you as your vision flashed with white. 

Yet Rhysand’s icy threat cut through. “I have a lot of enemies, Y/N. I don't suppose you are hoping to fetch a pretty penny for anyone who might seek to bring back the rightfully dead?”

“No, n-no!” you gasped, your body spasming and contorting as he continued to toy with you. “Please, it’s for m-my family!”

Rhysand left your mind as quickly as he had entered it. You sagged in relief, Cassian gently setting you down as your crumpled to the floor, your body shaking and twitching. 

You had just enough energy to raise your eyes and meet the High Lord’s stare. Gone was his expression of cruel amusement, it was now replaced with a frown of serious, deep thought. 

He had seen them – your family, their smiles and laughter as your memory flashed at their mention. That meant he had also seen their deaths, their limp bodies piled for you to find in your own home. 

“You wish to resurrect them?” Rhys asked softly. 

All you could do was nod. You were sure you weren't noting a sense of sympathy from the male.

Rhys shook his head, his eyes closing. “If it were that easy Y/N, I’d have the missing kin to my own family here today.”

You looked up at the High Lord through heavy lids, exhaustion overcoming your body with an occasional twitch. 

“I have to try,” was all you could offer, your voice small and unsure. 

Rhysand stared down at you with furrowed brows, serious yet unreadable. After a few moments, he blinked, a few stars returning to his eyes as he raised them to Cassian with a quick nod. 

Strong hands unfurled from your arms, and Cassian stepped back, providing you some space on the marbled tiles as you shook.

Death then, at last. May the Mother have mercy, let it be quick, you prayed silently.

A gentle pull of your hand from your face, and your fingers were forced to close around a ovoidal object. 

Rhysand was crouched in front of you, his face unreadable as his cold hand kept your fingers pressed to the scroll

“I’ll tell you what Y/N. You find a way to decipher this scroll and bring back your family. And when you do, you share that information with me, so that I may do the same.”

You pulled your hand back, eyes darting between his violet ones as if you read the trick that undoubtedly hid beneath his offer. 

“And why in Mother’s name would I trust you?”

He smirked humourlessly. “Unless you prefer the alternative –“ Rhysand’s eyes blackened instantly, and your heart skipped a beat at the promise of death that beheld them. “– I don’t believe you have a choice.”

Make a bargain with the High Lord, or die. Not in a thousand lifetimes could you have predicted an ultimatum so soulless.

“Do we have a deal?” Rhysand offered his large hand as he still crouched before you, his eyebrows raising with a hint of impatience.

You flicked your gaze between Azriel and Cassian. Both of them watched patiently, their stances neutral, obedient of their High Lord’s business. It bothered you – how were both of them so complicit to his evil? 

Looking back at Rhysand – you ignored the voice inside you that screamed at you not to trust him. 

Letting out a short breath, you lifted yourself to your knees and clasped your hand in his. “It’s a deal.”

A gasp escaped you as a stinging heat spread across the hand held in his, and etched it’s way up your forearm. With wide eyes, you watched the burn and itch of a ink-like pattern forming on your skin. Swirls now covered your once naked arm, the picture of one hand shaking another stark on the inside of your palm. It was your hand in Rhysand’s – a symbol of the bargain you had just agreed to. For eternity, or until you deciphered this scroll you realised, with no lack of nausea.  

Rhysand grinned, marvelling the matching tattoo that now tainted his skin. “I’ll be checking in on your progress frequently, Y/N darling.” 

Unable to find the right words for you distaste, you snatched your hand away and pressed against your stomach, willing your self not to be sick.

You were now indebted to this hellish, sinister being.

Rhysand appeared as unfazed. “Perhaps you would consider a job in my court with Azriel?” he mused, flexing his fingers as he continued to take in the impressive detail of your bargain. “Again, we were quite impressed with your work.” 

He was teasing of course, and Azriel’s hazel eyes winced with humour as all three males watched for your reaction. 

You scowled at Rhysand, glaring up at him again. “I prefer my freedom, actually,” you snarled. 

Rhysand laughed in his sensual way, before grinning a wicked smile down at you. “Or what’s left of it. 

He straightened then, his wig men moving to his sides with grace – a practiced dance for all three. 

“I suggest you excuse yourself from my quarters the moment we’re gone Y/N, I’ll know otherwise.”

With a clasp to his shoulders from Azriel and Cassian, the three males were gone in a ripple of odourless night. 

Until then, little spy, Rhysand’s voice echoed in your mind.

»»——-　★　——-«« ★ »»——-　★　——-««

AN: Ok new series let's gooooo!! Welcome to DWTD! Hello morally grey mosthandsomehighlordofthenightcourt 💞😈 I am so so excited to explore this series with y'all. Pleeeeease let me know what you think of part 1, I wrote this over so many months lol I hope it tied together. General tag list is tagged, but if you'd like to join a tag list for this series (DWTD), comment below! La la love you guys, hope you're all safe and doing ok 💞

[asvterias]

𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝟣: 𝖦𝗈𝗈𝖽𝖻𝗒𝖾, 𝖸𝖺𝗇𝖼𝗒 𝖠𝖼𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗆𝗒

the cast // series masterlist

chap. 1 || chap. 2 || chap. 3 || chap. 4 || chap. 5 || chap. 6 || chap. 7 || chap. 8

‼️  DISCLAIMER FOR THIS CHAPTER  ‼️ 

Just Some Cursing

Bold Italics are the Flashbacks

Bold Italics with the ‘Single Quotation Marks’ are spoken in 1st POV

word count: 4.5k+

tag list: @starvviss @lov3rgirllll @starless-nightz @random-girls-loves

author’s note: so...first chapter, how are we looking?? 👀 Also, there’s no way for me to be this consistent with my book 😮, let’s hope i can keep this up!

🌊 🐚 ✘ 🔥🗡️

CHAPTER 1, EPISODE ONE

✧.* ࿐ CHAPTER 1’S MIXTAPE ! ꩜ ·˚ ༘₊· ✿ ೀ ➳

001, IT GIRL . . . aliyah’s interlude

002, SWEET ESCAPE . . . gwen stefani & akon

003, WE R WHO WE R . . . kesha

004, PARADISE . . . coldplay

Born from the same father but different mothers, your sibling bond with Percy was unbreakable, certainly unconditional. Your mothers were very close, growing up as best friends from when they were teenagers, accomplishing every achievement together for the sake of you and Percy’s life.

Of course, your moms fell in love, hosting a small spring wedding when you were 10 and Percy was 6 years old.

‘Look…. I didn’t want to be a half-blood. Being a half-blood is dangerous, it’s scary. Most of the time it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways. If you think you might be one of us, my advice is to turn away while you still can because once they know who you are, they’ll sense it too and they’ll come for you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

‘My name is Y/N Jackson-Matthews, I’m sixteen years old. Am I a troubled kid? Depends on which context you put this in.’

‘To my parents, I’m the easy and less rebellious child, never causing fights unless provoked, maintaining good school grades, and protecting my brother from trouble. I didn’t mind any of it, rather enjoying being the protector of the family. It makes me visible and seen as an equal to my other family members. Don’t get my parents wrong, they love and care for me very much, but I always felt invisible, blending into the sidelines, due to my shy nature. Luckily, I’m still growing out of that mindset and managing to be an outspoken girl and not a pushover.’

‘So what happens when the protector is unable to protect? Do they give up instant hope and cower in shame? Or do they fight back, willingly seeking a second chance to redeem themselves? The answer to this question is unclear. Whether you make a change or just bystand like others?

With everything going on, from the upbringing of your heritage, both of your mothers went through thick and thin. Developing from friends into lovers hardly changed anything, presumably their love maintained massively for themselves and shared children. A loving family of four was maintained by dark secrets that cost lives.

After many years of moving from states because of unexplainable sightings you and Percy witnessed in confusion and never properly settling down in schools, Yancy Academy was persistent. You and Percy managed a full school semester at Yancy, and your parents were proud of it.

Everything was going well, Percy finally found a friend, Grover Underwood, the boy was a little peculiar but his personality was a sweet innocent one. Yes, you didn’t have any friends but you were fine with it, half of your schoolmates weren’t even worth the time. So, you just hung out with Grover and Percy, defending them against bullies, particularly a redhead named Nancy Bobofit, who was your classmate.

Despite the girl bullying your younger brothers, she never bothered you to the extent she did with others. You shared most of your classes with her, due to being assigned to AP Classes because of your academic gift. Perhaps, maybe she’s always flustered by your mere presence, her rosy cheeks, giving her true feelings away. Even when it’s with a single glance from you, the redhead girl would duck her head and turn the small smile she had on, plastering it with a hardened frown.

‘Until the day that changed, too…until the day one of them decided to come for me and my brother too. My family’s fate will all be in my hands. And maybe I wasn’t prepared for it, nobody was prepared for it. I’m a protector and nothing we hate worse is an unprepared attack.

Yancy Academy hosted a field trip to the Met Museum about Greek Gods for History Week. Standing beside your younger brothers, Grover and Percy, observing about the many Greek God statues on display while Mr. Brunner briefly discussed Greek History.

Keeping a clipboard in your hand with a worksheet attached to it and you fidgeted with the pen in your other hand. You couldn’t concentrate on anything.

“What you see here, they are not fictions. They are not fantasies. What you see here are the truest and deepest parts of yourselves. Friends…the gods, the monsters, the heroes, you see here in this room are reminders of what we are capable of.” Mr. Brunner explained to the students.

You released a tired sigh, throwing your head slightly back as you resisted the urge to roll your eyes and leave to buy snacks.

Greek Mythology wasn’t your favorite thing to learn about but surprisingly your brother, it’s the only subject he wholeheartedly admires.

“Now, on your worksheets, I want you to choose one of the subjects you see here and describe it. Not just how it looks but how it makes you feel. Hmm…okay, c’mon.” Your History teacher claps twice, urging everyone to disperse and start the assignment.

You blinked down at the clipboard holding your assignment, trying to read the instructions. Your vision goes blurry as you squint your eyes, not believing the sight. Were you seeing things now? Since when do words start to rearrange themselves on paper? That whole ordeal caused even more confusion and an even further increasing headache.

Suddenly, you feel a tap on your shoulder which brings you back to reality as you turn around to face the person. You shake your head, realizing you are in a public place and daydreaming again.

“Hey, Matthews,” Nancy smirks.

“Hey, Bobofit.” Your eyes slanted at the girl’s presence, wondering why the sudden intrusion.

“I was wondering if you had another pen that I could borrow. I seem to have lost mine,”

You nodded with a small smile, about to grab the extra pen from your sweater pocket before your brother joined in the conversation.

“Isn’t that the pen behind your ear?” Percy points out.

You raised your head and scanned the girl’s face as her red hair made it harder to decipher the pen. Nancy’s face flushed in embarrassment as her eyes widened at the blonde’s attempt at humiliation. The redhead absolutely hated that he succeeded in embarrassing her, and in front of you, too. Finally, you spotted the well-hidden pen, observing the writing utensil, safely tucked behind the bridge of her ear.

“Oh yeah, you do have a pen. You don’t need mine.”

Your brother smiles in satisfaction at Nancy’s embarrassment and your cluelessness in the entire situation.

“Yeah, so can you get lost now?” Percy says with a disdained face.

Nancy glares and scoffs at your blonde brother before turning her attention back to you with a half smile. “See you later, Y/N,” she waved with a flirty tone.

You nodded, watching the redhead saunter off to her friend group once again.

“I still don’t get why you even interact with her,” Percy exhales.

“Trust me, I don’t know myself.” You answer him, “Maybe, I want to kill her with kindness,” You joked with a dry tone.

“My sister is always the jester,” Percy rolls his eyes.

“Shut up, doofus,” You shove him. “Let’s hurry up and finish this worksheet so we can buy snacks, I’m starving.”

“I swear you think through your stomach,”

“Whatever, Perseus.”

You two chuckle to yourselves as you both look up at the statue in front of you. It was Perseus, standing victoriously while holding the decapitated head of Medusa.

“What do you see?”

The whole scenery changed, and instead of the museum being crowded it was empty, just the family of four. You, Percy, your mom, Jessica, and your mother, Sally. However, your ages also regressed there too, you were 10 and Percy was 6 as you all stood before the statue. It was a past memory.

“Perseus…that’s me.” A six-year-old Percy answered his mom.

“Mm-hmm, that’s who you’re named after.”

“Is that why you named me after him? Because he was a hero?”

“What makes you think he was a hero?”

“Because he kills monsters.”

“And what makes you think that she was a monster?”

“Mom…”

“Not everyone who looks like a hero is a hero, and not everyone who looks like a monster is a monster.” Your mom, Jessica continues with the conversation.

“This Greek talk is sooo boring,” You mumbled to yourself.

“I named you after him because when he was a very little boy he and his mother were placed in a wooden chest and cast out into the sea by a very angry king.”

Your mom looked at her two children as she spoke, “All alone, afraid, and at night, his mother would whisper in his ear; “Hold fast Perseus. Brave the storm that was made to break us for we are unbreakable as long as we have each other.”

“And against all odds, he managed his way to find a happy ending,” Sally concludes.

You and your mom shared a glance of boredom as she grabbed your hand, sneakily walking away from your brother and mother. You two left the museum and headed towards the food stand outside, ordering two medium-sized pretzels.

“We got pretzels,” You cheered, chewing on the pretzel in your hand as you skipped back inside the museum with your mom.

“And you didn’t bring me any!” Percy yelled in astonishment.

“Why yes, of course, because you and mother were boring me and mom about all this Greek mythology.”

“It’s not my fault your attention span is so short!”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk, Perseus!”

“Just shut up, Y/N/N.”

Before you two could argue again, your mom hit your arm, silencing any of your upcoming words, and replacing it with a hurried yell. Soothing your arm in pain as the impact still subsided, and you pouted at your mom.

“In public places, we use our inside voices, remember.” Sally gently reprimands her two children.

“But—“

Her warning tone was to be carefully treaded with. “Y/N…”

“Why didn’t Percy get hit too?”

“Don’t take that tone with your mother, missy,” Your mom lectures you with a firm stare. “Don’t make me get the belt.”

Neither of your parents were wearing belts and you wondered where she was gonna find one. For once, you decided to keep your smart mouth shut and avoid the consequences this time.

“Fine, we’ll be even.” Sally sighs, briefly hitting Percy’s arm harshly, wincing when his eyes start to water.

“Sorry, mom.” You held your head down in shame and bashfully took another bite of your pretzel.

He cries and you walk over to him, rubbing his back with your free hand, attempting to comfort him. Soon enough, you soothed and wiped his tears away and gave him a huge bear hug.

“Don’t cry, brother. I’ll keep you safe from our mothers.”

He sniffles at you, still staying silent, reciprocating the hug back and not budging.

Pulling away from the bear hug, you grinned softly at the young blonde. “We’ll share my pretzel if you like.” You shoved the half-eaten pretzel into your brother’s face.

Percy wipes his remaining tears away, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he reaches for the desert.

You smiled at your generosity and so did your parents at your kindness shown towards your younger brother. They loved seeing you two get along, too bad that wholesome moment quickly diminished as you began to shout again.

“Not a big piece, you hoarder!”

“How about we get you two separate pretzels?” Sally bargained with an unsure shrug and her wife, Jessica stared at her in disbelief.

“We’re not getting them separate pretzels.” Your mom, Jessica, shakes her head.

“Why not?”

“Can’t you tell, Percy, we’re broke?”

“How broke are we?”

“We’re not broke.”

The family of four started to leave the museum as you walked hand in hand with Percy as he munched on the remainder of your pretzel. You weren’t going to fight him about it because you were getting another one.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, sweetie, I’m sure.”

“You’re not very convincing, mom.” You skipped to the pretzel stand with Percy by your side.

Sally smiles down at you. “Y/N takes after you,”

“Oh, please, no she does not.” Your mom scoffs in disagreement.

“Mom!” Percy yells out and he breaks his pencil in the process, startling some nearby students.

You glance at your brother in confusion, seeing he’s finally out of his trance state, returning to the harsh reality.

“I’m right here, sweetie,” Percy searched for the voice and internally shrank upon the actual voice of the person. It was Nancy, who was just publicly humiliating him in front of everybody. “Mommy’s here!” She fakely cooed, drawing out some laughs from her friends and others.

You glared at the redhead, smirking to yourself when she backed down and turned away from you two.

“Just ignore her.”

“Well, it’s getting quite hard not to. She’s like a pest, a human-sized annoying pest that you can’t get rid of.”

“Mr. Jackson and Ms. Matthews, you two will learn to control yourself, do you understand me?” You wince at the sudden harshness of Mrs. Dodds’ tone.

“Us?” Percy asked in shock, pointing to the group of girls, ready to defend himself.

“Listen here, lady, we didn’t do anything wrong—“

Mrs. Dodd sharply cut your statements off. “Do you understand me?”

“He can’t help it, Mrs. Dodds. Percy’s special.” Nancy wanted to be desperately involved. Oh, she’s definitely going to get what’s coming for her.

“I will fight you in front of everyone here and show you who’s really special.” You start to walk closer to the posse of girls but a strict voice halts your actions.

“That’s enough!” Mr. Brunner rolls over on his wheelchair to the two of you, “Pay them no mind. When you’re ready to hear what the gods have in store for you, they’ll tell you. I believe in you, in the both of you.”

“Thanks for the unnecessary inspiration, I guess,” You shrugged.

Mr. Brunner pulls two black pens from his suit, “And I believe you two will be needing this.”

Immediately, Percy accepts the pen from his teacher but you aren’t easily impressed or gullible by a basic pen.

“No, thanks, I already have an extra pen.”

“Take the pen, Ms. Matthews.” His demeanor was serious as you gulped, taking the pen out of his hand.

“It’s a pen, though.” You spoke dumbfounded, looking at the pen skeptically.

“Why, yes, Y/N, it is a pen,” Mr. Brunner nodded in agreement. Was he being sarcastic with you?

“Do you want us to write something with it for you?”

“Hang on to them. ‘Tis a mighty instrument,”

“It’s just a pen.” You argued. “If you’re that lazy to write, that’s not my problem, Mr. B.”

“Good day, Y/N.” He rolled away in his wheelchair. “I never knew a girl could have so many questions for a simple thing.” He murmurs to himself.

“What’s so special about this pen?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion, observing the simple black ink pen.

“Just let it go, sis.”

“I’m only doing that because lunch is finally here.” You shoved the pen into your sweater pocket.

“All you’re worried about is food.”

“Of course, what else is there to worry about? Food won’t hurt or pretend to love me, food is life.”

“Why do you always do that?”

“What do I always do?”

“Get real depressing when you’re hungry.”

“It’s either a depressing state or a bitchy state, be grateful.”

The trio sits by the huge water fountain and begins to eat their sandwiches while everyone else is talking and standing around with their friends.

“There are all sorts of schools of thought about what drives that kind of bullying. Childhood trauma, a feeling of inadequacy..” Grover lists off.

“Look I get that Nancy has issues, I’m just getting tired of her taking them out on me.” Percy exhales, “I feel like maybe it’s time we do something about it.”

“You could make an appointment with Mr. Kane.” Grover suggests, “He’s really great at talking to—“

“I was thinking more of shoving Nancy into the nearest dumpster,” Percy confesses with an innocent smile.

“Oh…” Grover raises his eyebrows, “That’s not what I really had intended in mind.”

“I like it, let’s do it.”

“No, no, no, Y/N, Percy, have you two learned nothing?”

“Hey, I do learn stuff, I just forget about the consequences…sometimes.”

“If there’s one thing I know about bullies, is that you should never ever stand up to them,” You frowned at that piece of advice.

“That doesn’t sound right.”

“It isn’t right.” You piped up. “That’s a stupidass logic, Grover, you’ll just give them more power than they actually need. The only way to stand up to them is to fight, make them scared of you after you beat their ass.”

“Look…I know this place is hard for people like us but we’re not gonna be here forever. There are better places out there.” Grover reassures his best friend.

A slice of cheese comes hurling your way and it lands on Grover’s face, echoing a smacking sound.

“Oops…” Nancy smirks, balling up the piece of garbage in her hand and walking away.

“Percy….”

You piped up, opening the bag of chips, “Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,”

Percy abruptly stands up, frustration consuming his mind, storming over to Nancy and holding his hand out. At first, Nancy stared at him unimpressed with a teasing smile to further anger your brother. Seriously, what was going on with your eyes today?! First, words were disoriented on your paper and now Percy had telekinetically thrown Nancy into the nearby fountain. He did all that within a few feet, possibly two feet away from the redhead girl.

The girl went flying back a few feet in the air, screaming at her sudden height before landing into the fountain. You stare in pure amazement at the sight, laughing slightly at the girl’s hysterics.

How was he able to do that? Did you have that same ability?

“Shit…I would have done the same thing.” You admitted.

“Percy pushed me!” Is the first thing she shouts that causes you to rush over to Percy’s aid.

“What, no I didn’t!” Percy stammers.

There were murmurs and crude looks sent in your brother’s direction but you ignored it.

Judgmental looks were the least of your concerns, moreover, the annoying buzzing sound getting louder. You found the source, furiously shaking in your sweater as you hesitantly pulled the shaking pen out.

“There you are.” A familiar voice rang out, capturing the siblings’ attention. It was Mrs. Dodds’ voice and she was walking menacingly toward you two. The woman still telepathically speaks.

“We’re not fools, Percy Jackson & Y/N Matthews.

“Mrs. Dodds, you okay?”

“It was only a matter of time before we found you two,”

Your heart pounded in your chest as you gripped Percy’s wrist on instinct by your protective nature, pulling him behind you. Both watched as she stalked closer…and it looked like she was transforming into a creature. Slowly but surely, wings started to sprout from her back and her true body revealed itself.

Mrs. Dodds wasn’t even a pretty creature either, yet you only appreciate her color of scales.

“Where is it, half-bloods?” She steps on the stairs of the fountain, “Where is it?” The creature flies above you as the sibling duo stumbles back, fearful of current threats. Too appalled by the sight of everything, Percy held onto your hand tighter as he hid behind you, resting his face in your sweater. As long as he had you by his side, he’d be fine, that’s what his parents said.

‘Protect each other and you’ll be fine. Love and care for each other and you’ll be fine. Don’t ever turn your back on each other, you’re blood siblings and that’s never changing.’

All of a sudden, she plummets down at the two of you with the intent of attacking. Her height is as intimidating as she looks and you internally bite back a gulp. You just hoped she couldn’t smell emotion, and use that to her advantage because your fear was too distinctive right now.

“Hmmm….not you…you can put up a fight,” She glared at you.

Instead of attacking you first, she decided to take Percy, knowing he was too young to understand anything. So she uses her wing to shove you away from your brother, her strength forcing you to separate from the blonde.

“No, Y/N!” Percy yells as you go flying back and crash landing into the hot dog stand truck.

Once you are down, Mrs. Dodds redirects her attention to Percy with a hiss, and the blonde stumbles backward, desperately trying to escape but falls down.

In a second, the monster is on top of him, her clawed fingers briefly skimming over the color of his shirt as she analyzes the terrified boy, “Where is it, half-blood?”

“No,” You whisper, tightening the pen’s grasp, viewing the scared interaction of your brother and that creature.

Hastily getting up from the ground, staring in bewilderment at the transformed gold sword. Huh, guess it was more than an actual pen.

Stabbing the creature in her back, ignoring her first hiss, repeatedly stabbing the monster until it was fully weakened as she eventually began to disintegrate into brown dust.

After the monster dies, you stagger onto the floor, barely sitting down with sense.

“Y/N…” His voice becomes disoriented as your vision changes into a black abyss and everything goes silent.

“Are they dead?” Someone asked.

“Are they okay?”

Managing to open your tired eyes to see a circle around, looking down on you as a groan left your mouth.

“Give them some room, please.”

By the kind demand, some students disappear, mingling back with their friends while Grover stays behind, helping you and Percy off the ground.

“What happened?” Percy breathlessly asked.

You glimpsed over at a drenched Nancy with a towel wrapped around her shoulders, who was glaring daggers at your brother while being comforted by some strange woman.

Turns out, Nancy actually got what she deserved a few minutes later and it was hilarious and shocking at the same time.

“Where’s Mrs. Dodds?”

Percy’s question goes unanswered.

“I didn’t do anything to him.” Nancy exclaims and the woman escorts her away, “He pushed me.”

“Everybody go back to your lunches.” He commands the other students, who still stare and murmur amongst themselves at the sibling duo. “It’s all right Y/N and Percy, just need a moment, that’s all.”

“I didn’t understand, didn’t anyone just see that? Where’s Mrs. Dodds?” You persisted.

At your question, Mr. Brunner and Grover shared a glance.

“Y/N, there’s no one here by that name,”

“Yes, there was. She had white hair in a 1950s hairstyle, wore a trench coat, and totally gave off creeper stalker vibes.

“As I said before, there’s no one here by that name.”

“You sure?” Percy questions.

“I’m quite sure,” Mr. Brunner reaffirms with a tight-lipped smile, “All right, class, let’s move soon. Let’s go, finish your lunches.”

Long story short, all three of you got called into the principal’s office, and heavily questioned because of the earlier incident with Nancy. This talk was definitely not going to be good. By the time you were ready to leave, Grover shocked you with his statement, claiming he saw Percy push Nancy into the fountain.

Observing your brother’s reaction to his best friend’s huge lie, betrayed by the other boy, ultimately thinking he was just like the rest. You gave him a small smile, rubbing his back to reassure him that you were there for him. That’s what you always do, protect and love your younger brother like your life depends on it.

Guess, that’s the end of going to this school, you and Percy are going home! Might as while call your parents and inform them of your early visitation.

Sitting on a bench with your belongings beside you, Percy looks gloomy, probably still portraying Grover’s betrayal in his mind. He seemed to be out of it and you didn’t bother him either. This was his time to reflect on everything that happened so far.

“None of this is easy,” Mr. Brunner strolled in, “Not for you two, not for any of us. I’m very concerned about you two, I saw what happened at the museum.”

“I didn’t touch Nancy.” Percy’s self-reassurance started to sound like a plea. He just wished for Mr. Brunner to believe him, because it seemed like no one was on his side, except for you.

“I know you didn’t. At least, I know you think you didn’t.”

“Listen here, Mr. B, I saw what happened too and my brother’s telling the truth.”

“Do you want to tell me what you think happened? You can tell me. I might just understand.”

“You wanna bet?” Percy tilts his head.

“Percy…Y/N,” He lowly chuckles, “I’ve seen a lot of young people go through this sort of thing in my time, but of all of them, I suspect that…you might have the most difficult journey.”

“Oh, because that puts us at such ease,”

“It was not meant to put you at ease,” Mr. Brunner recorrects you. “I suspect that you two are special. So much more so than you know.”

“Just…stop.” The blonde boy heavily sighs. “Okay, I don’t need any more stories about how special me and my sister don’t realize we are. They aren’t helping in the slightest.”

“And I’m pretty sure I’m dyslexic,” You interrupted. “If that counts as special.”

“Ms. Matthews, you’re special but not in the way you assume.” Mr. Brunner implies.

“How is that relevant?”

“It’s not, I just wanted to feel included.”

“Of course, you do.”

A green, vintage two-seater truck pulls up, signaling your departure for returning home.

“This is our ride, we’re going home.” You spoke to the History teacher, “Get your bags, Percy, let’s go.”

Percy nods at the teacher before retrieving his bags and following into the Yancy Academy truck alongside you. Once you two were settled in the vehicle, the driver revived his engine and pulled out of the driveway.

Goodbye, Yancy Academy, you were decent while it lasted.

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

© asvterias, 2024. please do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works onto any other platforms without my permission.

[crystaldivination]

𝐈’𝐌 𝐀 𝗕𝐀𝐃. 𝗕𝐈𝐓𝐂𝐇 🖤♠️🗝️♟️🕷️⛓️

"Boss bitch" - Doja Cat playing

"I’m a bitch, I’m a boss. I’m a bitch and a boss, I'ma shine like gloss."

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐭

♥︎ ♥︎

𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 · 𝐚 · 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝 ♱ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬 ♱ 🚬

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.

𝐎𝐍𝐄

sweeties you’re a force to be reckoned with! You don’t know challenges. You don’t know the word “STOP” — in fact, there’s no stop sign for you. Giving up is not an option for you. You know your strength and you persist. Once you laid your eyes on something or someone you want, the only thing that you can see is “i’m gonna get it” as if you’re the hunter who has found its prey. People are fearful of your drive, honey. You’re the definition and embodiment of -unstoppable-. A task too hard for you? —impossible. With that brain of yours, no one can outdo and that’s for a fact. Witty at the start and improvisation at play when necessary though nothing without a plan. Master at creativity. ideas that don’t seem to lack and a presence marked by charm enough to fascinate anyone. Visage looking fine as hell but on top of that ease is your second name. You never seem to stress ‘cause everything is just effortless for you. You’re a natural. Humble and unpretentious all the time yet not to be underestimated at all time. You never let them get a hold of you. Mind game on point while you just inevitably happen to unable to be read. so foolish of anyone to believe in the blank face you present ‘cause that poker face skills is not to be played with yet every time they get trapped by not able to learn from it. How come you make it so hard for anyone to know your next move without even intending to do so? maybe, it’s a talent. Quiet confidence and letting the result speak for itself might be the strategy. The secret to your power? —well after all, isn’t it obvious? Winning by being just oneself. No one is you and that’s your power. No one can even come near that. Uniqueness prevails. disrespect will be punished. You need to know your place!

bonita perra! 💸

𝐓𝐖𝐎

queens & kings, there’s not much to say if I’m being honest. Never have I seen so much calmness and control in someone like you. You won the idgaf game! All the inner knowing that everything will turn out in your favour anyway is hot. Your energy shows it all. You trust and believe in yourself like that’s the only thing you’ve ever known — you finessed it to say the least. Indeed it was you alone who has built yourself up to who you’re now, isn’t that true? you decided and did. Dropped all the bullshit to focus on you and what matters most to you. Your wisdom comes from letting go of what hurt you and the things that no longer serve you. You make yourself your top priority. Let go of the past and now you know that you’re that bitch who is not to be messed with. You didn’t cross over that bridge for nothing, I hear you. Self love so unbreakable no one can ever shake. Greatest asset your worth that’s expensive like diamonds. You make yourself shine like stars in the sky, your light would never ever able to go out. Life is what you make it and you made yours a paradise. No one dares and is able to disturb your peace ‘cause you’re out of reach. Not even a firestorm can sway or fade you. You’re in your own lanes moving without them knowing. Too swift to be able to be caught. Exclusivity at its finest. Mind blowing values that accompany and define you forever. This is someone who knows how to stand out from the crowd by doing NOTHING — absolutely nothing but to observe. You have the eyes that speak through the soul. No need to say thousand words and be loud. People get drawn to you like a moth to a flame. You enjoy the attention but know deep down nothing beats a golden heart.

hasta la vista, baby!🍸

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

fierce like a lion, sharp like a knife. Your words cut and sting but they are nothing but the truth. Independent since birth but that’s a given. You’re your own boss. You don’t give anyone the chance to play — not when it comes to you. You know what you want. You know how to get whatever that you yet want and still not have. You know your stand and you stand your ground —something that should be obvious but not always so evident in everyone. No fear is ever greater than your own. they say “no one is your enemy, you might be your own worst enemy” —and you know it but that doesn’t stop you from functioning at your greatest. why? because you know yourself best. You wouldn’t let yourself be your own enemy. you’ve worked on yourself relentlessly —for what it’s worth it seems like. you deserve the acknowledgment. pff as if you don’t know it. this is someone who is and acts proudly of themselves. rightfully so! you have every right to do that! always willing to learn more, never stop being curious. this is what you are. you want to be the best so you have to put in the work, darling. Hard work and hustle life is not a challenge for you. To reach the peak of the mountain is not a dream for you. You have big dreams and you won’t wait for it. You don’t sit around when you know you can climb. you’re nobody's baby and possess an individuality so strong it’s called impeccability. You do it yourself because you know you can master it yourself. An immaculate mind that can turn heads so why searching for ways to prove it or impress anyone when all you need to do is to do it for yourself, right? You don’t want to be king of the so called fixed “class”. You want to be yourself. Now your life can only get better but you’re not one to be satisfied easily so you keep moving until you realized every desires of yours. Feral is what you are and one of your trademark.

xoxo, badass 📞🖤

stay bad & on fleek, lil baddies !

—crystal

© 2023 crystaldivination ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, edit, alter, or redistribute my work. Plagiarism in any form is prohibited.

[barbs111claims]

How I used LOA to induce void easily.

I first thought void state was just a deep breathe in breathe out relaxation technique. A normal meditation routine. So when I first discovered about void state I was just like 'hahh! easy peasy. I do this every day." I was genuinely confused that people found it harder to do it.

I thought I was already a master void inducer but then in just 2days after this "belief". I actually entered void state.

Oh my fucking god. It was surreal. It was pure bliss. No thoughts, nothing. I was floating. I was seriously in an ecstatic which really hindered my first true experience cause I was just so full of joy.

After this, I realised I accidently used loa to induce void state.

So actually, void was never really hard for me and I used it to enter 3 Lucid dreams and I shifted twice now. I also shifted once in a Lucid dream. That's why whenever I shifted or had lucid dream, I never really panicked cause I'AM a natural lucid dreamer and a Master shifter...Like why would I panic or get frustrated? I'm literally a god.

Seriously guys.. I swear your reality is in your hands. I discovered Neville only in august. I had ups and downs but I was so persist to not give up. All these struggles would matter nothing once you actually shift. Trust me its worth it<3

[natigail]

"I figured hey, if I'm here, I might as well be honest with myself. So I dug into the archives. And I found teenage Dan. Do you remember HELLO INTERNET? There I was, eighteen years old, your average caucasian British boy with your problematic vocabulary, just wanting so desperately to be liked. I then saw myself age twenty, as a student. Not that I was actually studying anything other than the male anatomy. I had no plan. No prospects. I was in desperate need of a haircut. Jesus Christ. No, look, that was not a hairstyle. It was geometry. My hair was a square. I then saw myself age twenty-two as an adult, just trying to make my way in the world, taking any job that I could, no matter how inauthentic or degrading. And look. I don't hate these past versions of myself, alright? Apart from the square one, it can get in the fucking bin. Mainly, I just feel sorry that it took them so long to work out who they are. I then stumbled across the video titled Existential Crisis. In which I utter the optimistic nihilistic epithet: 'embrace the void and have the courage to exist'. Embrace the void and have the courage to exist. It sounded nice when I said it but for some reason it just didn't hit. I had accepted the absurdity of the world but at that time, I hadn't accepted myself. Looking back at it, it finally clicked. Anyone who has suffered with depression or any kind of trauma that seriously affects your self-worth hopes that one day you're going to have this sudden revelation and then everything is fine. I had my revelation alright. I am unapologetically gay! Don't know if you hadn't picked up on that, so far in the show. But just having this revelation did not immediately fix all of my problems, because I still feel that inherent burnt-on brand that I am wrong. And that doesn't just go away. No, I know what my problem is, alright. My problem I am always living for the future. Every day I am thinking about this dream future where all of my dreams have come true and all of my problem have gone and everything's fine. And so, every day in the present of my life can be this joyless unrelenting grind towards that future. But it's okay. It's going to come any day now, right? Learning to look yourself in the mirror and being honest about what you've been through and keep living in spite of that can be hard. It takes a long time and a relentless persistent resistance against the way that you've been trained to feel by the world. But that doesn't just mean you should give up. Because, sure, sometimes in life, you may feel trapped. I felt trapped by my sexuality. You could feel trapped by your culture or your community. Hell, you could be literally trapped in an elevator but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to get out. 'cause, sure, when I look at the state of the world, I am very tempted to just go: You know what - we're all doomed. But that isn't courageous. That is cowardly. It's the easy way out. Even if it is, as I hope you'd all agree, a really fucking cool name for a show. So that's the thing. You can either say to yourself, every day is just a discontent emoji or you can find the courage to force your inner smiling cowboy hat, ye-motherfucking-haw! And just try to find in everyday life. Which is why I made this show. So I'm not living in the future but I'm just right here, right now, with you, just trying to have one good night. And look. Hey. Who knows, huh? We may all be doomed. Death may be inevitable. But first, we get to live. Life might at times be a struggle but just being here, to put one foot in front of the other every day is living. So please, do not let the doom drag you down. You are important. You matter. Please, stay hopeful for the future. Appreciate life. Embrace the void and have the courage to exist." - Dan Howell, closing monologue of his show "we're all doomed" (2022-2024)

[hellish-sunsets]

You're an Asshole - Pt 3 - Triumph

Pt 1 Pt 2

Summary: Adam was nothing if not stubborn and persistent, and eventually he finally manages to win her over for a night. (Or, Adam thinks he finally convinced her to fuck because he's charming or something. Man has no idea he's wrapped around her finger.)

Warnings: Cursing, Smut

Word Count: 2,845

------------------------

Alright, so Adam couldn’t get her out on the first attempt. That was fine. He could be patient, when he needed to be. He would just get her at the next concert.

But she still didn’t leave with him.

So he tried again, and again, and again. He listened to more shitty music trying to get to that bitch. He was growing… far too accustomed to those bullshit sounds some people called music. But whatever, it would be worth it when he finally won her over and proved he wasn't an asshole. They would fuck and it would be great and he could finally move on from all this.

So he remained stubborn and kept it up. After the fifth ‘accidental’ bump in at a concert, she actually gave him her number with that bright smile of his,

“I like talking to you. We should keep texting.”

Something swelled in his chest, something he wasn't really willing to name. Victory, perhaps. Progress. Her friends hadn’t looked too happy about that, but she clearly wasn’t paying much attention to their warnings. Good. As pointlessly difficult as all this was turning out to be, at least her friend's displeasure wasn’t going to make it more difficult. Stupid bastards.

She texted him infrequently, telling him about various concerts she was going to, just in case he wanted to come too. He read the latest text over, one that seemed to hold more excitement than usual. The next one was a rock concert, and she was sure he’d have a better time there than the last one. He caught himself smiling at his phone and scowled. It was just because he was getting close to winning her over, he told himself. He definitely wasn’t developing any shitty feelings for some shitty woman. She could give him that shining smile as much as she wanted, could babble on with her infectious excitement for hours, could look up at him with those warm eyes, but it wouldn’t change a thing.

And maybe if he kept telling himself that he could pretend it was true. 

Who was he kidding, of course it was true. He had given up on love after his second wife left him. But, she was still hot. He couldn’t wait to bang her. 

And he was convinced tonight would be the night! He was in his element at a rock concert. He made sure he wore his best leather jacket, the one with only one hole nobody could even notice, and a nice shirt. Well, nicer. It didn't have any holes or stains. He couldn’t stand the same for his jeans, but oh well, at the very least he can say he tried. That's more than he did for everyone else. Just to prove a point, he told himself. 

There was a knock at the door and he headed that way, pausing at the hallway mirror. He ran his hands through his brown locks, making sure it was the right amount of messy. He needed to be irresistible. He smirked at himself, satisfied. 

Show time.

—-----------------------

The air thrummed with the sound of banging drums and heavy guitar. The crowd pressed in on them, the smell of sweat and the heat of the bodies hitting them from all sides. Adam felt right at home. 

He easily made his way through the crowd, searching for his little angel. She had told him to meet towards the front, by a specific pillar. Sure enough, he found her there with her usual friends. She spotted him too, giving a bright smile and waving him and Lute over. They couldn’t talk over the music, but that hardly mattered. He could use his dashing good looks and charming personality. Body language mattered a fuck ton in these matters. 

So he gave her his own dashing smile and sauntered over to bump his shoulder against hers. He felt more than heard her giggle. Nailed it! Her friends shot him weird looks, clearly unimpressed, but Lute shot them a hard look back, leaving them at a standstill. That didn’t matter, really. He was more than happy to let Lute deal with them so he could have fun and rock out with the hot bitch next to him. Ain’t nothing like it! And she was smiling and dancing and bouncing with the music, clearly having a good time. 

And for a while during that concert, he forgot about everything. He forgot about why he was there, forgot about his attempts at manipulation, forgot about why he was trying to in the first place. The thoughts in his mind, the constant nagging that he wasn’t good enough, that he was a failure, that he was an asshole and no one would love him… nothing he would admit to, to himself or anyone else, but was still there tearing him apart inside. Those thoughts didn’t exist. All that existed was the pounding music and the angel next to him and that beautiful smile and sparkling eyes that drew him in. 

He fucking loved rock concerts! This was the shit! 

And when the music finally faded, he could feel his blood boiling. He knew exactly what he wanted and he wasn’t going to play any games about it. This was his chance. The time had come and there was no hesitating. 

He leaned over, resting a hand on her waist and whispering in her ear, and she didn’t pull away but leaned into his side, her body fitting perfectly against his. 

“Wanta take this to my place?” He said in a low, rumbling voice, and she hummed, thinking it over. It felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest. He may later regret how desperate he felt, but at that moment all he wanted was her, and it was a weird feeling. Cause yeah, he’s wanted to fuck plenty of bitches before, but this wasn’t quite the same, not that he was in the mindset to analyze his feelings or some bullshit like that. 

It was only a little hum before she was turning her head to whisper back in his own ear, her breath warm against his skin and sending a shiver down his spine. 

“Lead the way.”

He couldn’t have stopped smiling if he was threatened at gunpoint. His wings ruffled and puffed up and she giggled, taking his hand in hers. He led her away, giving her hand a squeeze as he went. He made sure to give Lute a grin and she nodded her understanding. He didn’t even bother looking at her friends. He didn’t give two shits about them. He was gonna get laid!

He was so fucking thankful he cleaned up his place earlier. Not that they saw it. 

The moment they were through that door she was on him, hands running up his chest before grabbing his jacket and pulling him towards her. Their lips crashed together, and shit, she had to have some flavored chapstick on or something cause fuck, she tasted like cherries. A growl was ripped out of his throat and he pushed forward, backing her into the hallway wall. She let out a small moan, opening her mouth for him, and fuck if that wasn’t hot. 

He had never been a really patient man, so he grabbed her wrist and dragged her to his room, fumbling for the light switch. And yeah, some guys liked fucking with the lights off but why on earth would he do that when he had such a fine piece of ass in front of him? No, he needed to see her, needed to see the faces she would make and the look in her eyes because he was determined to make them roll. Fuck, she would look so hot impaled on his cock.

She smiled at him, so tender and warm his thoughts stuttered to a halt. She leaned up to cradling his face in her hands, thumbs rubbing over the red in his cheeks. His breath caught in his throat as she leaned in, her lips brushing against his so gently. His tongue darted out to pick over her lips and she parted them for him. He groaned as she let him deepen the kiss once more. His hands went to her hips, pulling her body tight against his. He swallowed the little gasp she let out into the kiss. 

He didn't even know they had been backing up until she fell onto the bed, her smile turning mischievous as she dragged him along with her. He yelped in surprise, but he didn’t mind, not when she was laughing, the sound making his heart swell. And his cock. He didn’t know how to deal with the heart thing, but he had plenty of practice dealing with his dick. 

He reached for her shirt to help her undress, but she grabbed his wrists to stop him, her lips pressing against his pulse.

“You first.” She said, and it wasn’t fully a command but it felt like one. He rolled his eyes and huffed, making her giggle again.

“Fine, whatever.” But he couldn’t really bring himself to care too much when her hands were on his chest, brushing his coat down his arms. He pulled it off the rest of the way, tossing it onto the ground somewhere. He'd pick it up later. (He definitely wouldn't.) Her hands traced the edge of his shirt before diving underneath, her fingers so hot against his skin. His shirt quickly joined his coat on the floor.

“Now?” He asked with a huff, pulling roughly on her shirt. She thought for a moment and shrugged, sitting up to pull her shirt over head, quickly followed by her bra. 

Now they were talking! The sight of her laid out before him did wonders, wings spread out over his bed and tits out. God, she had the best tits, fit into his hands perfectly. So soft and warm. His lips were back on hers in an instant, all tongue and teeth as he groped her chest. She gasped and panted into his lips, hands frantically working at his jeans. His hips bucked against her hands, his cock already so hard and eager to feel her cunt around him. It sent a shiver down his spine when his cock sprang free, his pants and boxers joining her clothes on the floor with a kick.

Her hands roamed, from his stomach to his chest to his neck, pulling him closer to press her lips against her neck, making his cock twitch with the press of her hot lips against his skin. He moaned, pressing his face into the side of her neck while she lavished attention on his sensitive skin. His own hands wandered as well, roaming over her soft curves before landing on her thighs, parting them so he could sit more comfortably between, the new position perfect for grinding his throbbing cock against her pussy.

But he was an impatient man, and this was already taking much longer than he wanted. He reached down to grasp his cock, lining himself up with her wet cunt and pushing in. Her gasp and groan was straight up addictive, but not as addictive as her cunt fluttering around his cock. He pulled back and pushed in further, then further again, and he groaned into her neck before pulling away. He wanted to see the look on her face as he settled deep inside her. 

And shit, it wasn’t fair how hot she was. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet for me.” He growled, finally thrusting into her properly.

“Shit, Adam, you fit me so perfectly.” She moaned praise back, sending a delicious shiver down his spine and making him twitch inside her hot walls. The room was filled with the sound of her squelching pussy and his balls hitting her ass as he filled her and fucked her properly. Her moans and whimpers were like song, her nails digging into his shoulders, staring into his eyes and making his hips stutter. 

“So good,” he moaned, hands moving from her thighs, one settling on her waist, digging into her skin to pull her harder into each thrust, the other running up her body to her breast, messaging and playing with her nipple. “So fucking hot. Such a good slut for me, shit!”

And he did have a tendency of talking dirty when he fucked someone, but his voice caught in his throat when she reached up to cradle his face. His hips sped up at the look on her face, a mix of pleasure and so much tenderness it almost hurt, and he whined. Actually fucking whined.

“Adam,” she breathed against his lips, wrapping her legs around his hips, egging him on. “Adam, you’re so good to me. Fill me so good.” She pressed her lips against his, kissing him tender before letting him deepen it, desperate for more of her. 

He had never come so fast and hard in his life, or at least in a very long time. He buried his face in her neck again, hips snapping against her hard and fast, making her groan. He gave a final hard thrust, cock settled deep inside her as he came with a shutter and load groan. Her pussy clenched around him as he came and it felt like she was milking him of every drop. She sighed at the feeling of his come inside her, body relaxing underneath him.

But fuck, he wasn’t done. Couldn’t be. She hadn’t come yet, and if there was anyone in heaven or earth deserving of coming on his dick it was her. 

Being the first man had its benefits. He was made for fucking, to reproduce. Which meant he almost never came only once. 

She yelped as he suddenly grabbed her hips, tucking her wings in as he forcefully turned her around. He positioned her with a chuckle, chest pressing against her back, arm wrapping around her shoulders while the other positioned his dick against her cunt once more. 

“We’re not done yet.” He whispered into her ear, voice low and husky. “Not until you come too.”

He could feel his cum leaking out of her and used the head of his cock to coral it back to her entrance. He pushed it in, filling her with his cock again. Between her wetness and his come, he slid in much easier this time. He didn’t move right away, settling for grinding into her pussy as he settled himself on top of her, arm tightening around her shoulders while the other grabbed her hip, squeezing hard. She had to spread her wings out again to give him room, his own fluttering at the feeling of her body against his. She fit so perfectly under him like this. He guided her hips a little higher before thrusting into her. 

This time he didn’t bother starting slow. His movements were fast and hard, guided by the deep groans of pleasure she let out. He chuckled in satisfaction, leaning down to pepper kisses on the nape of her neck and shoulders. And while it felt good, so fucking good, her pussy was clamping around him so hard in this position, he was a man on a mission. He wouldn’t rest until she came. And based on the sounds she was making, wild and guttural, it wouldn’t be too long.

“Feel that? Feel me fucking into you? Feels so good doesn’t it?”

“Fuck!” Was all she could say, the word coming out strangled and needy, and holy shit if he thought he was addicted before it was nothing compared to this. 

“I’m going to come inside you again, shit, gonna fill you with so much of my cum. And you’re going to take it, aren’t you? Gonna take every drop I give you. Gonna come around my cock and force every drop out.” He groaned as he felt her cunt tighten around him, her body trembling underneath him as she buried her head in the pillows. Shit, it was so hot, seeing her come undone like this. 

Somehow, he managed to fuck her faster, and the sounds she made was straight up animalistic. There was no mistaking it when she came. He cursed as she clamped around him harder than ever before, pussy pulsing with the pleasure, her voice singing out her groans of release. And shit, there was no resisting that. He came again, vision going blurry as he cocked pulsed with her. 

Their bodies went limp together, both panting messes. He settled his wings around them, too lazy to get a blanket when he could stay right here, buried inside her hot pussy as they fell asleep together. It wasn’t like she was complaining, letting out a content sigh. 

“Thank you.” she murmured before she was out like a light. 

He felt triumphant and satisfied, lazily kissing the nape of her neck and behind her ears before he followed suit. 

He finally got her, and it was the best fuck he had in a long time.

[kelppsstuff]

hiii i've been reading some of your work and i LOVE them!! do you mind doing lucifer hcs?? ❤️

Lucifer HC

Masterlist

Warnings: implied nwsf

Awe your so sweet thank you darling, and I hope you like this!

— Noticing each other HC —

Besides Charlie, you would be the one to force him to get his shit together.

After Lilith left him he closed himself off from everyone but their you were, persistent on making sure he wasn’t alone.

(In this I’m just saying your a maid, so I’m sorry if you don’t like it 😭 it’s just the way you two met)

You had been with the Morningstar family for thousands of years. You were the housekeeping.

You had always admired Lucifer from afar. He was the ruler of hell, it was a hard job and you admired on how he actually did it. Free will.

You knew you loved him when you saw him goofing off with little Charlie. You had went to wake her up, like normal, only to find her dad tickling her. He had the brightest smile on his face. And in that moment you loved him. Not that he knew. He never really noticed you.

When Lilith left, he’d fire all the help around the house. Wanting to be completely alone.

However you stayed, because being without him was true hell, and you couldn’t handle that.

At first Lucifer would snap at you. Placing his anger, to the closest thing. You. You never minded, he would immediately apologize after.

Eventually thoughts of Lilith left his mind, being replaced with thoughts of you.

Lucifer saw you in a complete different light when you placed pancakes in front of him on the table, spilling the syrup on accident.

You fessed and apologized over and over, but he didn’t care. You started to clean up you mess.

It was the first time you ever made a mistake in front of him. A piece of hair fell in your face from your frantic cleaning, and you just looked divine.

That day he decided to stop wearing his wedding ring.

— Pursuing you HC —

Lucifer had started his quest by giving you rubber ducks.

Gift giving, along with touch was his love language and boy did he spoil you.

He had decided to go out, and explore the town. (Everyone in hell was talking about it considering how rare it is.) He took you along with him. Anything you’d look at more than one second he’d buy it.

You found it odd, but shook it off. It definitely wasn’t helping your crush on him.

The next venture he took was truly get to know you. Safe to say his “school girl crush” became so much more when he did.

He found that you weren’t perfect, and he loved you even more for it.

When he helped Charlie with her hotel he had decided to get his life in order.

He was tired of hiding his feeling. Tired of hiding behind a broken mask. He just wanted you. To show you how much he was worth.

He started to get more clingy. He would just randomly hold your hand when walking. Would ask you to watch a movie and end up laying in your lap. (He went out to his way to buy a TV.)

Pretty soon, you two had actually started to act like a couple. So he had confessed.

He was thrilled when you said the worlds “I love you too.” His wings flew out as he picked you up, spinning and flying you around.

— Dating HC —

When you wake up, he’d whine for you to go back to bed with him.

Always makes you breakfast.

Gives you a bouquet once a week of your favorite flowers.

Often sings to you. Loves if you sing with him

You two take baths together all the time!

He’ll have zoomies, and I feel like he’d ask you to fly with him every time.

He’ll randomly place his face in your chest, with the excuse “I’m the perfect size.”

He tells you jokes all the time mostly about ducks.

When he has meetings he’ll always drift off in thought about you.

What you’re were doing

What you were doing before he left.

How you got on your knees for him.

Now he has a boner in the middle of a meeting that he’ll make you pay for.

[meanbossart]

its funny looking between his former fixation (orin) and current one (astarion) and noticing he has a very obvious 'type'. what made him so taken with orin, though? what did he like about her? did he not have any initial misgivings? was he ever concerned she might turn on him?

B)c Please know how happy it made me to finally have someone spell this out lmao. It's absolutely true, at least within the dynamic that DU drow shared with each of them; there are a lot of parallels to be found between Orin and Astarion.

The tough part of this question however, is that I have a very difficult time pinning Orin down. She's easily the most elusive character out of the Chosen, and while I understand this Is likely a consequence of being underwritten, I also see a certain charm in a character who's lack of development is part of their tragedy - whose story is very much about not being allowed much individuality of their own, and having no resolution. I think this is a space worth playing in.

I couldn't tell you what the hell Orin likes, what she was like besides blood-thirsty and deranged. I can barely fathom her sitting down to have a conversation with someone. Think about it - she was raised from childhood in the Bhaal temple, both her parent's were faithful servants and she was essentially groomed from birth to be either Bhaal's Chosen, the Dark Urge's consort, or a sacrificial lamb. Nobody had ANYTHING to gain from allowing her to develop any humanity.

Of course, this doesn't mean she doesn't have any, deep inside. We see glimpses of it in fairly difficult-to-get dialogue regarding her origins during act 3. My very vague take on Orin is that she was a determined and persistent person who learned to make her circumstances work for her as best as she could, who had a strong sense of her boundaries but a horrifically difficult time differentiating between negative emotions - this is why I personally don't even know whether she """"led DU drow on""" our of malice or self-preservation. Perhaps she didn't know either - I think whenever Orin felt sadness, discomfort, anger or even happiness or love, she found a way to turn it into bloodlust and sadism, every time.

And it's in part this elusiveness that would have attracted DU drow. What did Astarion have to do to get DU drow to pursue him? He had to feign disinterest, he had to pull away - the fact that Orin never allowed DU drow to get close enough to truly know her plays a significant part in how unhealthy his attachment for her became.

That said, this was a long game - he did become infatuated pretty much from the moment he saw her when they were both teenagers. This is a much simpler concept to understand - he was profoundly emotionally inept and neglected, and she was probably the prettiest thing he ever laid eyes on, not to mention the only other person in the temple close to him in age.

Truth is, they did have a lot in common on the very basis of having been so thoroughly stripped of their humanities, but It was a closeness born entirely from circumstance - the implied vulnerability in the type of life they shared together, even if they never spoke about feelings or shared what normal people would qualify as a "sweet" moment. They didn't really use their words, and when they did, they were like daggers - twisted murder sibling banter.

But when they had to work together it was very different. They played off each each other like match and friction, like two fitted cogs turning a wheel. There must have been nothing that swelled DU drow's heart more than when they killed together, perhaps even more than when Orin hurt him. He loved seeing her in her element and yearned for nothing more but to be let into the joy she found in it.

He Never had any misgivings. He always thought she would come around (to him) eventually. He was completely and entirely blind to how much her resentment towards him grew throughout the years, how he lost a sister through wanting a lover.