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[ezekiel-krishna]

✧ 2nd House Ruler (WEALTH & Family) in All Houses

Part 2 ..

{ Vedic Astrology }

Your Guide to Check Your Placement (Vedic Astrology)

⇝ Refer To My Part 1

2nd Lord in 3rd House

When the ruler of the 2nd house is located in the third house, it signifies a strong sense of fighting spirit in your life. You are not afraid to fight for what you want, whether it's wealth or helping those in need with high moral values.

With a benefic planet ruling as the 2nd house ruler such as Venus, Jupiter, Mercury, or Moon, in 3rd house, your wisdom shines through, especially in your spoken words. Your values are reflected strongly in your communication, which can be expressed on multimedia platforms. Just remember to be kind to others and respect their views, as conflicts over money matters can arise.

Since the third house rules skills and hands-on activities, you may excel in areas such as writing, music, presentations, and digital technology. Your persuasive abilities can bring you wealth, especially in industries like advertising and sales. Traveling business/jobs indeed may also contribute to your prosperity. Be cautious not to let financial disputes affect your relationship with your partner, as your spouse holds great importance in your life.

2nd Lord in 4th House

Having the 2nd Lord positioned in the 4th house brings a sense of luxury and comfort to your home life. This placement signifies wealth and abundance in terms of property and domestic matters. The key factor here is the influence of benefic planets like Venus, Moon, or Jupiter, which can amplify these blessings to the point where your desires manifest effortlessly.

Be mindful of your wishes, as they are likely to come true with this placement. While everyone with this alignment has the potential to attract financial prosperity, it's crucial to consider the impact of malefic aspects. If not properly balanced, overspending on property, mortgages, or loans could become a burden that you carry throughout your life.

2nd Lord in 5th House

The placement of the 2nd Lord in the 5th house holds immense power and potential. It is a favorable position for accumulating wealth and showcases your creative prowess in making money work for you. You possess a natural ability to find opportunities even in the most challenging situations, allowing you to turn them into profitable ventures.

However, it is important to note that this placement can have two sides. While it can bring financial success through legal means, it is crucial to ensure that you do not engage in any unlawful activities. This placement can be a saving grace in difficult times, helping you navigate through sticky situations.

The 5th house is associated with education, making teaching a fruitful career option for you. However, it is essential for you to have a solid educational foundation yourself before pursuing this path. Additionally, the 5th house governs speculation, gambling, and lucky moments like lotteries. It is important to remember that these endeavors come with karmic implications.

If the 2nd Lord in the 5th house is influenced or it is benefic planet like Jupiter, Venus, or the Moon, it can bring financial luck. However, if there are malefic aspects, it may not have such a positive outcome. It is crucial to exercise caution and be mindful of the potential challenges that may arise.

Furthermore, the 5th house also rules over children and younger individuals. As mentioned earlier, your children may inherit your ability to make money and become ingenious in their own financial endeavors. This effect can span across generations, creating a multi-generational impact on your family's financial success.

2nd Lord in 6th House

When the ruler of the second house is positioned in the sixth house of your birth chart, you become naturally competitive. This house is associated with enemies, so you find yourself excelling by overcoming challenges and defeating those who stand in your way. This competitive drive can lead to financial gains, depending on whether the ruling planet is considered beneficial or malefic.

If the ruler of the second house is a benefic planet such as the Moon, Venus, Mercury, or Jupiter, you are likely to emerge victorious in your battles with enemies and accumulate wealth in the process. Your competitive spirit is channeled in a positive direction, allowing you to turn challenging situations into opportunities for financial growth. Even when faced with adversity, you manage to come out on top in competitive scenarios.

On the other hand, if the ruler of the second house is a malefic planet like Mars, Saturn, Rahu[North Node], or Ketu[South Node] in the sixth house, you may struggle to defeat your competitors and experience financial losses. However, due to the malefic nature of these planets, you possess the resilience to bounce back from setbacks and persist until you achieve success.

It is important to consider other planets that may be present alongside the ruler of the second house in the sixth house, as they can provide insights into the nature of your competition. For instance, if Jupiter is positioned with the ruler of the second house, you may find yourself competing with your children or even your Husband or mentor. If Venus is in conjunction with the second house ruler, your competition may involve your wife/females, while Mercury indicates competition within your family, and the Moon suggests rivalry with your mother or close relatives.

Having the ruler of the second house in the sixth house can create a dynamic and challenging environment in your relationships. While you may not be engaged in literal conflicts with those you compete with, there is a sense of tension and competition that adds an edge to your interactions. This placement can also indicate strong resistance to illness and the ability to recover quickly when unwell, as well as potentially strong dental health.

2nd Lord in 7th House

Having the 2nd Lord in the 7th house can bring about some challenges in relationships, family matters, and even business affairs. This is because the 2nd Lord has moved six houses away from its original position.

In this placement, you tend to become dissatisfied in relationships quite easily. It is important for you to take your time and really get to know someone before fully committing, especially if the 2nd house Lord is a malefic planet like Mars, Saturn, Rahu[North Node], or Ketu[South Node].You may find yourself being overly critical of your partner, but the positive aspect of this position is that it lends itself well to consulting or helping others. You could excel as a consultant in various fields, or in medicine as a doctor or surgeon, even if malefic planets are present in this house.

If benefic planet like the Moon, Venus, Jupiter, or Mercury are present here, you will have a natural ability to connect with the public. You could excel as a psychologist, psychiatrist, or someone who assists others with their mental or physical health. While these careers can bring in good money, it is important to note that you will have to work hard regardless of your chosen profession. You may find yourself putting in long hours, but you genuinely enjoy the effort you put into your work.

Since the 7th house governs business partnerships, it is crucial for you to be cautious about who you enter into business ventures with. If there are afflictions to the 7th house, there is a possibility of losing money through these partnerships. If you are not familiar with the person, it is best not to trust them blindly. You have a tendency to thrive in team environments and enjoy making money collectively. Therefore, being employed in a larger organization or working within a team can be beneficial for you if you have this placement.

Stay Tuned For Part 3...

Feel free to share your experiences in the comments!

Remember This is a General Analysis , Whole Chart is to be consider for Accurate Personalized Predictions..

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[jjwho]

What You Need To Hear RN.

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Pile 1

Cards pulled out: Seven of cups, Nine of cups, The highpriestess and Five of cups

You have a lot of options laid in front of you or are coming in, but it may have not been the thing or option you have been seeking, but it could be something that's taking you on the right path, but I see you being upset or more focused on this other option you'd like have instead of looking at these many options being given to you. The way you may be looking at your situation right now might be you only seeing yourself having to take this path step by step in your way, but you may not understand that these other options will lead you to your future dreams or your future career path ect ect where you're actually happy doing what you're doing. Be okay with not knowing what's coming towards you and learn to not be so upset and stuck on the last because you weren't able to take the path "that was right for you", because there's a reason why you weren't able to take that path and that's why you have many options coming in now or are in front of you now, because your path is taking you to a different place which will still keep you happy in the end with your true dreams coming true in the end.

Signs: white butterflies, red wine, stars, Aries, virgo, pisces and Sagittarius. Green vines, 777, 333

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Pile 2

Cards pulled out: Five of cups, five of swords, hermit and four of wands

Omg, I literally wrote this whole bitch ass thing out and it didn't save. Idk maybe that'd how you've been feeling lately pile 2. Anyways so let me try to retype everything exactly as how I remembered it if I can remember. You may have been going through some unexpected changed or something unexpected might have been stoned upon you so that had you really depressed and not feeling good at all causing you to want to surrender and give up to your circumstances that are put on you and you just feel so destroyed. It's time for you to really look back at this and really think is this is the right decision and just give time to yourself to reflect and think things through as you should know that you hold so much power and it might seem that you don't but you do, take pride in your achievements and take back what's yours from the people whether it's fake friends, or bitchass family members, take back what's yours. Honestly. Likeee. Better your self esteem girl you need it and celebrate what you've gone through and achieved with some real friends and family and their support will give you enough courage to take back what's yours with sass.

Signs:Violet blue, green eyes, green apples, parachute song.

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Pile 3

Cards pulled out: Four of swords, seven of pentacles, five of pentacles and the lovers

Pile 3 you need to rest-

You've been working really hard and you should take a break, you could be working off financial debts or student loan debts and we get that but that can cause you to go off balance, you should learn to work and also give yourself time to rest cause you gave yourself a lot of anxiety and sleepless nights and are disturbing your studying or just your normal life routine. Learn how to ask people for help if you need, don't assume you can handle everything at once. If a person truly cares about you they'd help without a second thought. But mainly learn how to be in harmony with your body, mind and soul and self care is essential for you to step up girlie.

That's all that's coming through so the reading is super short

Signs: cereal, white wans, documentaries, student in university, medical field.

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Pile 4

Cards pulled out:six of cups, queen of cups, lovers and ace of pentacles

Pile 4 it seems like love and stability is coming in for you. With love to come in you may need to emotionally heal yourself and reflect on your childhood and childhood trauma and maybe connect with your inner child or you next partner may be someone who reminds you of your childhood and that's why spirits wants you to heal on your last as you may try to run away from this lover or get triggered by this person. Be more gentle with yourself and be aware of your own emotional needs and don't shame yourself for having needs. I see you needing stability when it comes to these things before your next partner can come in. But that's all im getting pile 4

Signs: Aries, blue moon, riviera, ocean, water, blue glass, dark roses

[omens-for-ophelia]

i love that, as a fandom, we largely choose to ignore the canon fact of "It wasn't a body swap. It was an appearance swap" in s1*

because yes, while we know that is logically true, and makes sense in the writing and the show, and is still a brilliant idea that we love...

... it is still much more fun to imagine aziraphale trying to navigate his usually grounded balance with wiggly, unruly snake hips, experiencing the difference in sense - exploring his suddenly intensified sense of smell and taste

...it is still way more entertaining to imagine crowley feeling soft and strong and grounded, suddenly dealing with cravings for crepes or good tea, and trying not to walk like a slut (affectionate) without having the extra motion in his hips

...and not to mention, fanon wise, much more narratively delicious to consider the depth of trust needed to freely loan the body you've had for 6000 years* to someone who was once supposed to be the enemy, and be trusted to take care of theirs too

...and much more heartwarming to imagine how much of their shared love they must have felt as their essences passed by one another via the touch of their hands

...and of course all the yummy potential held by 'that night at crowley's flat' 😌❤️

*this is no way a critique of canon or the various ways we interpret it... i just love that we decided to gently, lovingly overrule it 😂

**okay fine, aziraphale technically got his back the day before but let me live 🤭

[multifandom-worlds]

New Agent in the Building

Genre: fluff? I think it's mostly fluff with some angst

Word count: 1.1k

Warning: N/A

Authors Note: I've been sitting on this for a while, and I can't think of anything. It initially had a different title, but the more I wrote it, the less that title worked. Do I think this title works? Nah, not really, but ehhh.

Written from Loki's POV

Tagging: @holdmytesseract @simplyholl @dryyoursaltyoceantears @buttercupcookies-blog @lokiprompts @jiyascepter @icytrickster17

I stood in the kitchen of the compound, mesmerized by her. Every move she made was calculated and graceful. Never did she misstep or fall out of rhythm. Everything was perfectly balanced. She helped prepare for Stark’s eagerly anticipated birthday celebration, which he was hosting this evening, to ease some of the stress on Mrs. Stark. Tony's excitement was palpable, 'We have New York’s best coming tonight,' he would remind her every few hours. 

“There you are, brother!” Thor’s obnoxiously thunderous voice rips me from my peaceful thoughts. “What are you doing here? Are you watching Lady Ellis again? Brother, why not speak to her? You have been watching her for weeks, brother.”

I can see her turning towards where I am standing. To avoid her seeing me, I quickly grab Thor, pull him into the hallway, and shove him against the wall. “You know not of what you speak, brother. I will speak to her when the time is right, and that time is not now, for she is helping to prepare the party.” My feelings for Lady Ellis were a secret I guarded closely, a mystery even to my brother. 

I take a step back, allowing Thor to move away from the wall. “Whatever you say, brother. You should prepare yourself. Guests will be arriving within the hour, and we must look presentable to the public,” he said, flattening his hair back to where it was moments ago. 

I waved him off before peeking into the kitchen once again, worried for her. Would she be done in time, or would she even be attending? Why was she even here in the first place? I can't recall if she's an Avenger or if she's simply an employee. How long ago did she turn up here, weeks? Months? Time on this plane of existence eludes me.

“Hey, beautiful! Let's go, we need to get you dressed! Loki will be attending the party tonight, and I know how much you’ve been fancying him lately!” Natasha smiles, stepping into the kitchen. Natasha’s voice pulls me once again from my wonderings, curiosity getting the best of me. I had to listen in. 

“I don’t have a dress, Tash; Tony wouldn’t let me attend wearing anything I owned, so I think I’m just going to hide away for the evening.” Her voice was heaven to my ears. “I doubt Loki even knows who I am, anyway. You and Wanda go and tell me all about it!” 

I doubt Loki even knows who I am.

While some of that may be true, I don’t know who she is as an individual. I know who she is, and I want nothing more in this world than to get to know her. I really do hope she shows up tonight, but I must get myself ready. I just heard FRIDAY announce that the first guests have arrived.

“And this lovely creature right here is Agent Ellis; she is on loan to us from SHIELD for the time so we can update our training regimes to make us a top-notch team,” Stark says, his arm around her waist. Jealousy begins to take hold; how dare someone else hold what I want. “She’s only been here a few weeks, so she is acquainting herself with the team before she begins her task.”

I could hear their excited conversation in the hall as I readied myself - I loathed these stupid parties Stark would host, and I vigorously debated going myself. Still, as soon as I heard Miss Romanoff ask if Ellis was going, I knew I needed to attend; this may be my chance, not to mention the fact that she had apparently been fancying me. Perhaps tonight, I can finally let my feelings be known.

“You make it sound so formal, Tony.” She giggles. Gods, I love the sound of her giggle. I want to discover all the sounds she could make. “From what I’ve seen, you make a fine team. There are just a few things I would tweak here and there for specific people; that’s all. No big overall changes need to be made.” 

“You want her, don’t you, Loki.” Natasha’s words are less of a question and more of a statement of fact. “I know you were watching her in the kitchen. I’ve seen how your eyes linger on her at the table or during training. Go up there and introduce yourself to her before you lose your chance.”

I take a big swig of the Midgardian liquor that Stark has, my eyes never leaving her form. The way Natasha’s dress hugs her in all the right places, the quiet confidence she carries herself with, the way she can effortlessly join the conversation. There’s something about her that draws me in, and I cannot put my finger on it.

“It’s not that simple, Miss Romanoff. There’s something about her that keeps me away. Every time I try to approach her, something or someone takes her attention elsewhere. I have not had a moment where it would be appropriate.” 

Natasha rubs her temples, “You gods really are hopeless when it comes to dating. Agent Ellis is so into you! You are all she talks about outside of her actual job here. Fury has reprimanded her already for getting distracted because she can’t stop looking at you during training. You’re one of the only ones she hasn’t found fault in when it comes to technique. I’ve seen her notebook; she says your technique when wielding your magic is, and I quote, “elegant and theatrical, mesmerizing and inspiring.” Have you gotten it through that thick, immortal skull of yours that she’s into you?” 

I watch her intently, wondering if what Natasha says is true—does she really think I’m elegant? I found myself getting lost in thought, wondering what life here might be like with her by my side when one thing neither of us had considered became glaringly obvious. “I’m immortal, she’s mortal. I don’t want to be forced to watch her grow old and die. It is for the best that we remain unknown to each other.” 

“So you would rather spend her whole life watching her get loved by other men rather than loving her yourself and figuring out if there is a way to make her mortal? Suit yourself.” Natasha said, walking off to rejoin the party. Her comment rang through my mind. Would I instead watch lesser men love her or give her a life she could never dream of and be with her for the remainder of her days? 

The decision was obvious. 

“Good evening, Agent. My name is Loki.”

[rainbowsky]

This is not a question, but a reflection. With this BF story, I thought a lot. And I think that as French, I don't have the same point of view. I was especially shocked by these words: “he must be educated”. France has a deep colonial past. and I thought: "we must educate these ignorant Chinese? but who are we to think that we are better and superior? we who today have so much hatred for them?" Each country has its point of view depending on his history. no need to respond if you don't want to. And thank you for your always respectful and thoughtful publications.

This is in reference to a previous post.

Bonjour lyndariell, j'espère que tu vas bien. ☺️

This is a perfect example of what I was saying about this being a very complex issue with a lot of different perspectives and angles.

In order to make sense of and come to terms with this issue we each need to find the right balance between upholding our own values and respecting the values of others. That's bound to be a tricky process because we're each coming from a different region, with different backgrounds, experiences and perspectives on the world.

Each of us will have a different degree of empathy and alignment toward one or more of the various stakeholders in the situation as well, based on our own experiences, interests and values.

In other words, it's complicated.

It is true that for some people, hearing so many white Westerners say that a Chinese man half a world away 'needs to be educated' on any topic might legitimately feel distasteful and wrong. There is this Western conceit that our values and way of life are superior and obviously correct, and that other nations are just 'behind us' in heading toward the same goals*.

*Although the same is also true going East to West.

It would be totally understandable if some people were to reject the Westerners' characterization of this issue and say that the choices that led to blackface being used in this film are not our choices to make. After all, the filmmakers are telling a Chinese story to a Chinese audience, and they know best how to go about that.

Fair enough. But...

Speaking of colonialism

While we're on the topic of colonialism shouldn't we also be talking about China and its role as a neocolonial power in Africa? As I said in my previous post, it's not really fair for us to look at things solely from our own perspective and in the context of the cultural environment we are in rather than considering the cultural environment this film was made in.

Have you heard of the Belt and Road Initiative? Actually you don't need to answer that question, because almost every turtle has definitely heard of it. GG sang a beautiful song in celebration of that initiative not that long ago, complete with a video highlighting some of the major projects involved.

I didn't post that video on my blog, but you can watch it here. All the bridges, trains and other infrastructure you can see in the video are projects from the Belt and Road Initiative; China investing across Asia, Africa and other regions to improve transport and trade (and to build on China's power globally).

I'm no @potteresque-ire, so I'm not going to break it all down in a meticulous, intelligent, well-cited masterpiece, but you can learn a bit more about it here. There are also countless online articles, papers, analyses, critiques, accolades, etc. from every possible angle out there if you want to dig deeper.

Some of the core strategy of the initiative involves proposing massive infrastructure projects in poor regions, loaning them the money to make the projects happen (loans in the billions), and stipulating that the contracts must be completed by Chinese companies. Resulting in countries with shiny new railways and hospitals built and paid for by the Chinese government and Chinese corporations, with these countries massively in debt to China for many decades to come and with deep trade ties to China.

Depending on who you ask, Belt and Road is either an exploitative, environmentally disastrous neocolonialist power/resource grab, or it's an innovative unifying effort to improve the lives and trade of its member nations.

I personally feel its a bit of both.

Whichever it is, it does have a very dark side. There have been many stories coming out of these regions, telling about slave-like working conditions and horrific abuse from the Chinese contractors toward their African workers. I made the mistake of researching this and let me just say that what I've seen cannot be unseen. There is a reason people make snide jokes about the "belt" in Belt and Road.

And that's just the Belt and Road Initiative. There are a lot of other Chinese individuals and companies going into regions across Africa to take advantage of the people and resources for their own monetary gain. I posted about one such example the other day.

So in considering imperialistic attitudes it's only fair to reflect on what it might mean for a Chinese person to wear an African ethnicity like a costume, in a country that is frequently racist toward Africans and which is thought by many to be exploiting African nations with a form of neocolonialist debt slavery.

Particularly when said costume leads to a massive increase in the amount of racist posts on Chinese social media, and with a tone of raucous mockery and disdain.

We should consider the impact of this film on Chinese attitudes toward Africa and Africans. Based on what I've seen on Weibo, in various articles and on international social media it seems like there is a strong colonialist 'white savior' narrative coming out of this film; glorifying China as swooping in and saving these helpless Africans.

Taken alongside the horrible racism of Chinese audience reactions to the blackface, I don't think looking at it through 'the other lens' gives us a prettier picture.

If the primary category of people who are not offended by this tends to be audiences who are reacting with racist mockery, then a deeper reflection needs to happen.

All that aside, DD isn't working in a vacuum. He has been actively cultivating an international audience and working closely with international brands. He doesn't have the luxury of ignoring Western values if he wants to continue down that path.

And let's not forget that the culture he's so enamoured of is black American culture. If he loves Western hip hop culture so much it would behoove him to better understand and support the people at the root of that culture. The people who literally made it possible for him to find and enjoy that culture.

DD is a good person at heart. I feel that participation in cultural harm is beneath his dignity, and not something he'd consciously choose to do if he had a better understanding of the impacts.

When it comes to culture clash and differences in values it's also important to remember that while everyone is free to make their own choices about what they say and do, so too is everyone else free to make their own choices about how to respond to what that person says and does.

DD is a massive star, so his behavior and choices go far beyond his own cultural environment. It's inevitable that some people are going to have different takes on it all.

And I don't feel like people are telling DD what to do, so much as they're talking about what he needs to do in order to maintain their support. They're drawing out the boundaries of what they deem acceptable as fans. From there everyone has their own choices to make, including DD.

My own position

Here's the thing: I've come under loud, vehement fire from black fans for not taking a strong enough stand on this issue, while some other fans feel I'm being too hard on DD. Now you're saying I should consider the colonialist angle and reflect on whether it's even appropriate for me to think DD has anything to learn.

I can only ever be myself, and speak and act from my own values. I will always think for myself and take my own positions, no matter how unpopular they are and no matter how harshly people attack me for it (and they have).

I am capable of holding multiple conflicting perspectives in my heart and feeling compassion for them all.

I empathize with black people who ***for fuck's sake!!*** have been so thoroughly fucked over on every level and in every possible way by people around them who just don't get it about racism. Who just don't get how deep and broad and far-reaching it is and about how soul-destroying it is to live in a world where this shit is normalized.

I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must be to be a black fan who loves DD and then see him in blackface, and then watch all the fans try to gloss over it as though it doesn't matter.

I empathize with Chinese fans who are in most cases probably not at all ill-intended, whose reactions came honestly even if they were jarring to Western fans, and who have mostly found this story and its telling both exciting and moving.

I empathize with diaspora fans who are having to deal with a whole bunch of sanctimonious lectures about who DD should be and what he should think, say and do.

I empathize with the filmmakers, who after all were probably just trying to give an accurate retelling of something that actually happened in real life.

I empathize with DD, who was likely doing what was requested of him and probably didn't realize that it would turn out to be so controversial or negatively impact so many people.

Anyone who can say with a straight face that they think DD would ever intentionally or knowingly do something that would be this controversial or that would be hurtful to so many of his fans can KMA. That's not the kind of person DD is at all.

Blackface is a huge deal here in the West, and even people in this region are constantly getting it wrong. How can we expect people in regions where it's not traditionally been a big deal to do better than people here who are steeped in awareness*?

*And before anyone says that cultural relativism is such that only people in the West really think blackface is wrong, why not try talking to some of the African fans who've been deeply upset by this?

This is what it is to live in the world. Life is complex, and people are messy. Like I said before; nothing is black and white. Everything is a million shades and hues. As much as people will try to oversimplify the issue and try to intimidate us into taking 'their side', or try to punish and attack us for not doing so, we can only ever live by our own conscience.

No matter how much pressure I come under to condemn one of the individuals or groups I listed above, I will refuse to do so. My conscience tells me to be compassionate and understanding to all of them, and that everyone is always doing their best.

I hope and believe that our differing opinions can coexist. We can disagree and still be friends, as long as we remain open to accepting one another, and as long as we respect each other's right to our own conscience and values.

Merci pour cet échange d'idées intéressant. 💛.

[the-concrete-sage]

Love on Loan… Pt2

Love is…

What you make of it

You can fake it

Or choose to reshape it into something beautiful

Love is…

Always challenging

Depending on what you choose to bring

It can sing in the frequency of birds

Or tore down with unkind, thoughtless words

Love is…

Equivalent exchange

Reciprocation is the forever key

Balancing the ebb and flow of each other’s reality

Love is…

Forever fluid

Consistently evolving frequencies of mood

With endless expressions much like our food

Love is…

Multifaceted

It may be exclusive or inclusive of one or more

Each time we give in to love, we feel it like never before

Love is…

Always a choice

It’s where we find inspiration and our true voice

It’s never an obligation that requires an invoice

Love is Life _^_

[abigail-pent]

very frustrated with the "there's no moral choice on the ballot" crowd. because here's the thing: no human being is perfect. even random ass humans don't live up to their own moral standards all the time. and a human being who is elected to government is, by definition, creating compromises and balances between multiple sets of different parties who all want different things - and who often don't share the same set of moral priorities.

(there is not one true good set of moral priorities in the world. there are some things many people would agree are always moral, but there are a whole lot of other things where many reasonable people either disagree or would say "it depends on the circumstances." claiming there's only one correct morality is, uh. very religious fundamentalist flavored.)

so when you have a government that isn't a total autocracy, its actions aren't a 1:1 reflection of the morality of the person in charge. they're the outcome of many people's preferences, and that outcome can be shaped to an extent by the person in charge, but not entirely. so you can't look at that outcome and say "well Joe Biden didn't make peace in the Middle East so he's immoral" - because a large, large percentage of the decisions that have happened with this war are not actually in his control. which isn't to say the president has no influence - he certainly has some, and the outcomes do partially reflect his influence.

but the real question then is not "why didn't Joe fix this yet" but rather "how bad could it/will it get if Trump were in charge" and the answer is "pretty fucking bad for everyone actually". he is unambiguously worse if you care about Palestinian lives - would you rather have someone who wants to get the killing to stop, or would you rather Bibi gain a buddy and enabler in the White House? calling Biden "genocide Joe" doesn't make the war more or less likely to end, but calling for people not to vote for him because "morality" actively helps Bibi by putting Trump one vote closer to the presidency.

and closer to home: if you want a far-right Supreme Court forever, by all means you should let your "morality" stop you from voting. Trump + Heritage have this agenda called Project 2025. they want to get rid of abortion in a comprehensive way. they want to roll back protections for queer people, and yes that includes marriage. they are staunchly against any DEI initiatives or protections for people of color. they want to get rid of fucking IVF. they want the Department of Justice to fall under *partisan* control, which is giving major Stasi vibes tbh. they want to stop promoting green energy or anything pro-environment, and double down on fossil fuels. they want to criminalize pornography. do you want that future? does your sense of "morality" extend to protecting yourself and your fellow citizens against a white Christian nationalist agenda by showing up and casting a fucking ballot?

because if you don't vote, this is what we will get. and thanks to the makeup of the Supreme Court, the consequences of your decision to vote or not will stick around for at least the next 50 years. that's you and your children and maybe their children too that will have to deal with the fallout.

we don't elect presidents to be a perfect conduit of our morals onto the world stage. they can't be. it isn't possible. but even so, Joe has done a shit-ton of moral things - masses of tax credits for clean energy, HUGE and unprecedented amounts of student loan forgiveness, slashing child poverty in half with expansions of the child tax credit, the list goes on and on. he's one of the most pro-labor presidents we've ever had. he isn't perfect, but saying there's "no moral candidate to vote for" is ridiculous. it sets the standard for morality higher than any president could ever reach. in doing so, it creates a false equivalence between Biden (one of our better presidents maybe ever) and Trump (arguably the worst president we have ever had). they're not the fucking same.

[boyswanna-be-her]

I wish i could've camped for a couple days longer. We brought such good food and had everything we needed, if we'd only been able to afford to book the camp site for two more nights. (My friends bought the first nights for us all, but I didn't have the $70 + fees for more reservations.)

I made a shitload of food from scratch including tomato sauce, refried beans, sloppy joe lentils, a loaf of white sandwich bread, a loaf of seasoned Italian bread. Bfr made us corn and potato chowder and big oatmeal raisin cookies, both of which were phenomenal, as well as a batch of homemade cashew milk to bring along. On site we cooked scrambled eggs and leftover baked beans and corn grits, toasted pitas and tortillas, we shredded a big block of mild cheese and chopped the last of our cherry tomatoes from home to make burritos. I used my ancient aeropress to make us hot coffee each morning from a jar of fresh grounds from home. Everything we brought was so goddamn good, and everything we made on site was surprisingly good, except the grits which were undercooked.

We lounged around in hammocks and I read my trashy true crime paperback from the 90s, and the Junji Ito cat diary manga I got from an inter-library loan. None of us got drunk or trashed or felt like we needed to be on psychedelics in order to appreciate being outdoors. My friend asked me to be the best man in his November wedding and I was super surprised and said yes of course. I felt cherished by my friends and adored by my partner. Things were just so quiet and easy and pressure-free. Bfr and I had plenty of camping gear between us and didn't need to buy anything new. We were able to make most of what we brought to eat from what we already had on hand, and spent under $50 for the 3-day trip in terms of gasoline, firewood, and specially-bought food/entertainment/supplies.

It takes SO much planning to do things on an extreme budget, but it's also much easier to share the planning load between two people. I've been alone for long enough that I'd forgotten how much easier it is to set up a tent with help, how much easier it is to maintain a clean campsite, and break it down at the end without stress.

I'm trying to appreciate everything now that I think might be impossible later (due to climate change, my employment situation, my age and physical health etc). Idk what else my overall takeaway is--or if I even need to have a conclusion from this experience. It's all a part of the balance that is currently working for me and keeping me well, I guess.

[loan-app]

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[winters-dream]

“Villain stop,” pleaded Hero for what felt like the hundredth time. “You don’t have to do this.”

Villain just ignored their words and pulled their wallet out of their pocket, pulling out more hundreds than Hero could count. They held the cash out to Hero, prompting them to take it but Hero refused.

“Take this,” said Villain. “It should be enough to cover rent for the next few months.”

Hero shook their head and pushed Villain’s hand against their own chest. “I’m not taking your money, I don’t need it.”

Villain huffed through their nose, a sharp sound indicating their frustration. “Hero, you’re seconds away from getting evicted. Just let me help.”

Hero opened their mouth to speak but Villain beat them to it. “I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer on this.”

Hero huffed out a breath of air. “You can give it to me all you want, I won’t use it. I’m doing just fine on my own. I don’t need help.”

“Just take the damn money. Why is it so hard for you to let someone take care of you for a fucking change?” Hero could see the anger flashing in their eyes. They shoved the cash into Hero’s hand, forcing them to close their fist around it. “You’re so stubborn sometimes. It pisses me off. You’re so worried about everyone else's wellbeing, you forget about your own.”

Villain’s grip on Hero’s hand was firm, their grip tightening before letting them go. “Accept the help that’s offered to you.” 

Hero sat the money on the coffee table, a question burning at the back of their mind. “Why are you helping me?”

Villain paused. That was a good question, why did they care so much about the wellbeing of their enemy? Why did they rush to Hero’s apartment to come to their aid the second they heard of their situation? If anything they should find joy in Hero’s suffering, kick them while they’re down. But here they were, standing in their enemy’s living room, ensuring they could pay rent for the next six months.

“I don’t know,” they said. “Maybe I’m not as horrible as you’d like to think.”

Hero sent them a knowing look. This one good deed got no where close to balancing out all of the crimes Villain had committed. 

“I guess thanks are in order then,” said the hero. They rubbed their hands together as if they had to wipe something off them. This whole thing made Hero’s skin crawl; they hated needing to rely on other people, especially with money. Guilt washed over them as Villain sent them a smile and backed away to leave. 

“I’ll pay you back,” Hero called. “Every penny of it, I’ll find a way to pay you back.”

Villain softly shook their head. “You don’t have to worry about that. Money means very little to me.  I don’t want you to hold this over your own head.”

“I insist—”

“And I insist,” interrupted Villain. “I don’t want you to waste your money trying to pay me back. This isn’t a loan. I’m giving this to you.”

“You’ll want me to pay you back in some form, just tell me what you want.”

“I want nothing,” Villain sighed and ran a hand down their face. “Why is it so hard for you to believe that I’m just doing this out of the kindness of my heart?”

Hero again gave them a pointed look. They could easily point out that they were in fact a villain, but they knew that would be unfair of them. And they knew better than most that when it came to heroes and villains, it was never black and white. Far from it. 

“Nobody does something kind for nothing,” they said. “Everyone expects something in return.”

“Not you,” said Villain. “You never expect your kindness to be repaid.”

“That’s different,” Hero said. “It’s part of my job to do good without expecting anything in return. During training, a hero is taught to expect nothing, not even gratitude from the people we save.”

Hero subconsciously looked around their apartment, Villain could see a trace of resentment in their eyes. “But we’re not saints, we’re just as selfish as everyone else.”

Villain shook their head. “That’s not true, you’re different. You act selfless even when you’re in civilian mode. You find genuine gratification in helping others. It’s one of the things I admire about you. You don’t spoil Supervillain’s plans to look good in front of the world. You do it because you have integrity.”

They wave their hand at the money at the coffee table. “Take the money, and don’t try to pay me back. I don’t want you to.”

Tears pricked at the corners of Hero’s eyes as they pulled Villain into a hug. They couldn’t even begin to explain the relief that flooded over them. 

“Thank you,” they whispered.

Slowly, Villain wrapped their arms around the hero and returned the hug, their shoulder damp from the hero’s tears. They thought about the amount of trouble they’d be in if Supervillain found out they were helping the enemy. They wouldn’t be very happy with Villain and this act would probably cost them a good amount of trust. 

Villain sighed through their nose and rested their head against Hero’s, silently cursing themself for putting themself in this position. “Of course.”

[mirrorhoppingdays]

not me and portrayal of twinship

Be forewarned, this is long as hell.

Normally when I think about writing about media depictions of twins (as a highly opinionated twin), two things stop me. One, nobody cares. Seriously, most people actively want to avoid understanding twins' point of view. It's my overwhelming experience. Two, it's just too much to delve into and I have thoughts about every little thing. I would digress until I became overwhelmed. But I think it might actually work to discuss this one facet. It might connect with a few people because fandom types are often actually interested in novel points of view and the emotional landscapes of others. And if I only talk about this one show that narrows things for me in a helpful way. So here goes.

As soon as Not Me starts with episode 1, there is an item on the balance sheet. We begin with the idea that twins can feel each others' feelings and feel when the other is seriously injured. We see this in Black & White's childhood and then again when White returns to Thailand after many years away. So, psychic twin connections. I'm both highly militant and oddly patient when it comes to twin depiction stuff. I don't love the psychic thing, but that's the variety of twinship media nonsense I'm willing to take on board *if* it's done well and it's worthwhile. When you begin a story about twins with a psychic connection and make it a central feature of your plot, you've essentially borrowed goodwill from me. If you squander it, then your balance will come due and you'll be left owing. If you use it well, I'll forgive the loan. So we start not on a bad note, but with higher stakes.

Pretending-to-be-one's-twin plots work okay for me. Why? Because as much as they might rely on twin resemblance, they can't work without the twins being different, whole people. That shouldn't be considered a positive because all characters should begin as whole people, but we know that doesn't always happen in general and it certainly doesn't always happen with twins.

We begin a whole big chunk of the story where the crux may be that White is sort of undercover as his own brother, but twinship isn't actually at issue much at all. It's about deception and risk, not twin connection or twinship. We do get constant reminders that White and Black are very different, and we get a lot of White trying and only kind of succeeding at pretending.

One thing that rings true to me is that he doesn't actually have to do all that great a job of pretending. If you don't know somebody has a twin, and to some extent even if you do, as a human being you'll default very hard to this-is-the-same-person. It's just necessary in every moment of our lives that we're not dealing with identical twins, so it's necessary to lean that way. Also, as a twin I know very well that the majority of people are highly unobservant about a great many things. And it's not like these guys have any reason to think this is some other guy, though it would have been a note of realism if at some point at least one of them had gone wait, is Black reporting on us to the cops or something because he's acting sketchy. They do point out that he's being weird, so that base is partially covered.

I did some Tumblr poking around before I was done watching, so I saw a few spoilery things. Thanks partly to that, I couldn't help but hope that Sean figured out comparatively early that White was not Black. That would have been kind of thrilling to see, honestly, as a twin. But I certainly understand how that might not happen, and I also see the efficacy (to the plot) of having him not figure it out too quickly. It's more interesting if he doesn't know right away.

Clearly Tumblr world loves memeing about how Black woke up from his coma when, possibly because, White hooked up with Sean (I'll be more coy in my wording than some). Twin-rep-wise, that's a wash to me, neither better or worse than the psychic connection trope. I'm already tolerating the psychic stuff, and I can't say it's not an interesting plot point. If you need Black to wake up, when else would it be? It probably borrows a little more goodwill, but again that's stakes rather than a deficit.

As someone who remains skeptical of the psychic twin connection trope, I will say this. The particular way Black wakes up kind of shows the absurdity of the whole conceit. I'm cool with it because this is melodrama and it *should* be bonkers, but it goes to show what you're playing with when you invoke that trope.

This is when stuff gets interesting, to me but I assume to everybody. White and Black are both running around in the world of the show, and crucially they're also interacting with each other. And some of what happens is honestly pretty great twin-rep-wise. I really have to hand it to writer/director Nuchy Anucha Boonyawatana—she must be a pretty empathetic, intuitive person. (Along with her cowriters.) She seems to have made an effort to put herself in both Black and White's shoes in a real human way. Like, well beyond what the story would require.

I wanted to avoid digressing too much, but I want to go back to the very first moment in the entire show. In that brief scene, White looks in a dark, foggy mirror and says these words in voiceover: “When you see somebody who looks precisely like you, every part of his body resembles yours, you must feel really strange. But for me, it’s special. I call that specialness ‘twins.’”

When I saw this scene, I won’t say I knew this would be a thoughtful treatment of twins. But I did find it promising. Part of what annoys me about being a twin is how non-twins, aka singletons, think that being a twin is great because on some level they think of their hypothetical twin as an extension of themselves. Your twin is not you, and your twin is not part of you. Your twin is a human being, and like any other human being in the world there are some moments and some ways when they can seem utterly unknowable, foreign, unfathomable.

Back to the point in the story where I left off.

There’s a big twin moment near the end of episode 9: White is confronted in Black's apartment by an unknown figure, only to find that it's his brother. White’s voiceover tells us what he's thinking, and he calls back to that brief beginning scene. Now that I’ve gone back to look at both moments, I can say that they’re very similar in length and rhythm. So I suspect our writer/director was not only deliberate about the echo but also exacting in how both moments play out.

White’s voiceover says: “I’d always imagined the day I’d see my brother again. It’s supposed to be a heartwarming moment. But now it’s happening. It’s surprisingly frightening. It’s as though I’m meeting my doppelgänger.” Of course this is a translation, but it’s worth noting that you can hear actor Gun Atthaphan saying “doppelgänger,” so you know there isn’t a ton of poetic license on the part of the translator here.

White and Black exchange some awkward pleasantries, and then Black echoes White, saying "You look so much like me, it’s creepy.”

If I hadn’t seen my twin in ten years (especially at that age), it would have been very surreal even if that person weren’t as menacing as Black seems to be. It’s just that there are dimensions to twinship that fade in your mind when you’re not actively engaged with them. I assume that regular degular siblings can experience this in partial ways or in flashes, but I don’t have any of those so I can only guess. Seeing your twin after a long time apart isn’t somehow magical in a good or a bad way. But your twin carries all the powerful associations of any close family member along with a similarly large number of associations to your own identity.

I chase catharsis in media, but I don’t usually experience it strongly. But there can be a catharsis in recognition of self, and that’s what I get from these moments. To be clear, I don’t feel some profound otherness when I interact with my sister. She’s a sweetheart and I feel very close to her. But the twin experience, for me at least, connects strongly and meaningfully to some very basic aspects of my human existence. The fact that one is a little bit alone even in the closest togetherness. The fact that other people are never fully knowable. The fact of my own identity and how its boundaries aren’t quite as firm and distinct as I might pretend they are. How much I need connection. The way so much about my perceptions and actions can be strongly influenced by others in ways I’m totally unconscious of. Some of this may sound hokey! But it’s difficult to express it any other way.

Moving on. White goes to meet their mother as Black, and just as their conversation is ending she makes it clear she knows who he really is. You might think that bit is meaningful to me, but it doesn’t strike a stong chord. Parents can tell their twin children apart, yes. Would it be harder after ten years? Assumably. What is it supposed to mean about her that she can? I don’t know; I’m not a huge fan of hers.

Black encounters Sean and is incredibly cruel to him, beats him, and it sucks. It annoys me to heap praise on actors for playing twins—actors play different roles all the time and that’s just doing two of them in the same project—but I have to admit that Gun Atthaphan not only does a great job playing dual roles, but a good job playing twins specifically. In a way it’s hard to understand now, having seen what we have as the audience, how Sean could fail to see that this isn’t “his” Black. But he doesn’t, because there’s no way anything else is possible according to what he knows about his world.

Sean sees White-as-Black again as White saves him from sketchy mercenary types, and then tries repeatedly to confront him. White doesn’t really explain and Sean doesn’t come to an obvious epiphany. But when Sean sees Black again, something has clicked. He attempts the trust fall White showed him and Black just stares on contemptuously. Black is smoking “again.” And we get to another big twin moment. This is episode 12.

Sean gets it. He says “You’re not the Black that I love.” He handcuffs himself to Black. They have an oddly realistic fight that involves various uncomfortable wrestling positions. And he says “You have a twin brother?” Black denies it, Sean insists repeatedly. And you see Black’s face change from contempt to anger as he says “Don’t you get close to my little brother again.”

This is a fun, climactic moment. It is, of course, adorable that Sean insists he won’t stay away from White, and honestly pretty adorable in an extremely grumpy way that Black is being protective. (Here again Gun is very convincing. For such a small, baby-faced guy he is genuinely menacing as Black.)

The moment is also true to my experience, though the only direct connections I can make aren’t exactly similar in circumstances. If your social world intersects heavily with that of your twin, there really are particular moments in many romantic relationships and even in many close friendships where the other person will sort of take a twin inventory with you. They don’t go on a spiel about how you’re cooler than your twin (unless maybe they suck as a person), they probably don’t even compare you exactly. But each person has to come to their own realization because (often at least) while they knew you and your twin are different people, they had to learn it all over again on another level. And they want you to know they perceive it.

There are smaller iterations of this phenomenon where people will emphatically tell you that while they have been able to tell you apart in the past, *now* they don’t even think of you as looking the same, now they can’t imagine how anybody *ever* confuses you. It’s not like this happens every single time I get to know every single person, but it’s so common in its broad strokes that I feel confident saying that the people around me and my sister share some common experiences in how they perceive us. And a change comes at a certain point that’s compelling enough that people are motivated to talk about it, try to make you understand.

Anyway, while this is a phenomenon that happens around me rather than to me, Sean’s insistence strikes a chord.

Sean finds White. White does a totally accidental trust fall, and it’s pretty cute.

White... decides to halfway drown himself to “remind [Black] of [their] connection”? Which makes some intuitive sense in the moment even if it sounds a bit silly. And is a little. Black finds him, they talk, Black concludes that he can’t stop White from staying with the group, going on their mission, and being with Sean. White stops Sean from going to the drug warehouse alone, at which point he says something that rings true for me as well. He explains why he hesitated to stay part of things, and says “I thought it wasn’t my place.”

When Black returned and demanded his phone, demanded White go away and not see the gang anymore, White went along with that because in a real way that was valid. White had genuine reasons for essentially stealing Black’s life, but that is what he did. White is an empathetic sweetheart so while he did get used to Black’s world he does feel guilty and out of place suddenly. But now he sees that things have changed, and he can’t go back to before all this happened. And of course he’s in loooove, so there’s that as well.

Then White tells the other dudes who he is (except for Gumpa, who knew the whole time) and it takes them a while to believe him. But when they do, they immediately do the twin inventory with him, saying how did I not see this earlier, etc.

They do their attempted heist, loads of shit goes wrong, they fall from various frying pans into various fires for a good while. They get away, things settle down. Sean does the twin inventory with White again and insists he’s completely able to tell White and Black apart now.

Then we have my final twin moment. White says he knows Black won’t be returning to the group. “Nobody wants to live in someone else’s shadow,” he says. “My brother sacrificed this role for me.”

This rings true for me. As a twin, you never want to think of yourself as interchangeable with your sibling. But at the same time many relationships and groups don’t have room for each of a pair of twins to feel comfortable. It’s not like you have to come up with some legalistic scheme for who “owns” a social group or anything like that. But at least in my sort of twin relationship, you’re never going to have a symmetrical relationship with a third person or a social circle. Even if you each have the same degree of connection to the same person, it’s different. And I can’t say it’s ever really been the same. One has always been closer, or more comfortable, or something.

Well, if you can believe it that’s not everything I could have said. But it’s a lot, and if you made it to the end I thank you. In case it doesn’t go without saying, I did find it worthwhile to indulge the psychic twin trope. What I got out of Not Me was worth the latitude.

[gothhabiba]

do you know if using points (and only points) on the starbucks and mcdonalds apps to ‘buy’/get free food from those places is in violation of BDS? i have quite a few points from both and i’m not sure whether to just leave them or use them up and then delete the apps. thanks :)

That’s a really good question… Gift cards & in-app balances have been theorised as basically interest-free loans for these companies, and they do earn a profit off of ‘breakage’ (aka, unspent gift cards). It would actually cost them some small amount of money to make them perform a service in exchange for gift cards rather than leaving them—points don’t function exactly the same way (since you don’t pay for them directly), but I think that latter point would hold true for them as well.

I can’t think of a direct way that the ‘having people redeem points’ part of the rewards cycle benefits a company.

[bitchesgetriches]

Hey bitches,

I'm 26, almost 27, and I don't have a savings, IRA, investments, anything. The reason for this is because I was very suicidal for a very long time, so I just didn't see the point of saving or making plans for the future, let alone retirement. I ended up moving back in with my parents because I didn't feel safe living on my own or with people who weren't family. It's only a few months ago that my mental health changed for the better, and ironically, now the fact that I am so far behind everyone else my age causes my depression and anxiety to worsen. Fortunately, finances is something that I know I can do something about, I just... don't know where to start.

Currently, I'm busy paying off student loans, so while I have a savings account, I don't put much into it. My job is fantastic in regards to work environment and coworkers and validating that I'm good at something - it definitely helped me find a will to live again - but it doesn't have benefits and it pays far below the national average for this position. I know finding a new job will help the money + moving out front and maybe even the IRA thing, because don't a lot of employers match what you put in there? But I'm admittedly reluctant/scared to job hunt again, because the jobs I had before this one were horrible and made my mental health issues even worse. I have a Bachelor's degree and everything, but since I was so suicidal all throughout university and up until a few months ago, I just... didn't bother looking into internships or anything, so this is my first job in my actual field. I don't know if it's bad to stay at a job that doesn't have benefits or pay too well while I'm still getting my feet under me and figuring out what life is like when you actually, you know, want to live it. And I know that you are not mental health professionals, so I don't know if you have any input there or not.

But generally speaking, when it comes to finances, I'm just... Not sure where I'm supposed to be. How much should a 26/27 year old have saved? Or in an IRA? Or in investments? And how do you balance all those things while paying for yourself to live on your own? Is it bad to stay somewhere that you know pays well below the national average while you're still figuring this life thing out, and then job search again later, when you feel steadier? Or is that shooting yourself in the foot?

I know this is a lot. Like I said, I'm kind of starting from zero in my late-20s pretty much, so... I don't even know where to start or what to focus on. Retirement, maybe? No idea. But any input/advice/articles you want to share would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much for all that you do!

Honeybee... we are SO gd proud of you for staying alive. True--we're not mental health professionals! But we understand mental health struggles and how drastically they can affect your finances. So this is your official permission to forgive yourself for falling behind on money achievements while you were literally battling your own brain for the will to live. That is HUGE. You survived. Don't feel any guilt for that.

Next, stop thinking in terms of where you "should be" at your age. You're starting late by society's standards, and that's society's problem, not yours. Here is our advice on where to get started right now, at your stage regardless of age:

The Financial Order of Operations: 10 Great Money Choices for Every Stage of Life 

[reborrowing]

a strange appearance, part three

if you read the previous chapter three, what if no you didn’t? Some of this is sort of the same, but also not really. I had wanted to set up a nice comfort scene that followed it that I liked and will probably find a new use for but...what I posted wasn't really working for me.

Stranger Swap Masterpost | ao3 First | Prev | Next

The two reflect on their predicament over a friendly breakfast, almost bringing their truce onward to trust. Almost. word count: ~2800 cws: reference to past abuse, unreality, fear, controlling behavior Taglist (reply/DM/ask to be added): @da3dm, @whumpsday

She was almost nothing in Val’s palm.

It was overwhelming, holding an entire life in their hands, but physically, she was so light that they could almost forget she was there. Val had braced the hand that held her up against their chest, and now she was leaned against their heart. The thin fabric of the sweatshirt she’d loaned them didn't do much to lower the intimacy of the position.

They felt everything she did: every twitch of her muscles, every little step to keep her balance, the way her chest pulsed with each breath.

And they felt just as exposed, if not more. For the first time, they were conscious of how much of themself was given away when they had been held in the past but they hardly had the space to think about it, because Phoebe was pressed so much closer to their heart than a stranger should ever be. She raised her hand to their chest and marveled at the heavy shudder behind their ribs.

It was too much.

Val nudged a finger under her arm and pushed her back as they reached the kitchen. She resisted a moment, then ran her hand along a neatly-filed claw. Her eyes glittered as she tapped her own nails along the surface. Val tensed, pulling their empty hand back to their side uncomfortably, and looked away towards the wall across the room. It was still mind-melting to watch their own hands hold her.

“Are your claws sensitive? I wouldn’t have guessed,” she said.

“Not like that, no. You weren't hurting me,” Val said.

They doubted she even could hurt them. She was even worse off than an actual borrower. She was clawless with dull teeth and built with luxurious fat in lieu of muscle. Val almost flinched at how soft she was—and how obvious it was that she was a delicate thing. Had the same been true when they were the one being held and prodded and broken, or did those soft human traits make that much of a difference?

They had always told themself that rough handling had come from ignorance, not malice, even that mishandling was inevitable. They couldn’t swallow hard enough to get rid of the sudden bitter taste. They cleared their throat.

“I can’t get anything ready without my hands free. You need to…I’m going to set you down on the counter now,” they said stiffly.

She made a thoughtful sound and braced herself as best she could against their thumb, this time leaning against the base as if to keep from touching their claw. She still stumbled once they started moving and winced when Val stopped. She stepped towards the edge of their hand and hesitated.

“What? Is something wrong?” they asked.

“Aside from the obvious? I’m kind of not loving some of my lifestyle choices from this angle. It looks, um, sticky. Maybe that’s all this is, some kind of stress dream about how behind I am on my housekeeping,” she said with a laugh.

“Mm. Maybe you should dream it cleaner,” Val said dryly, well aware of how uncomfortable the counter could be—they’d ruined at least one shoe stepping through the mess.

“Don’t think I’m not trying,” she said.

They bit their tongue to keep from saying anything else, still not sure how serious she was about the dream thing. She was either a fantastic liar or fucking insane and they weren’t interested in arguing with anyone frome either category.

Instead, they grabbed something clean for her to sit on. Their stomach fluttered at how close everything was, how…easy. They hardly even needed to lean forward to reach the paper towel tower on the other end of the counter and easily tore off a half sheet with their one free hand. It wasn’t like they didn’t know that human things were designed for human use, but it was incredible to feel it.

“Here, why don’t you sit on this for now?” Val said, folding the towel and setting it out in front of her like a rug.

She flinched at the brief rush of air, but seemed otherwise satisfied with the solution and climbed down. Val kept their hand on the counter even after she left. Looking down to watch her settle into the familiar landscape of the counter brought back that vertigo. Or maybe it was just the claustrophobia, sitting in the open but still able to feel the ceiling pressing down over head. Either way, they needed a moment to catch their breath and keep the floor steady beneath their feet.

She was staring at them again, her face drawn together in suspicion—was she putting things together? Or had they done something threatening or…should they reassure her? They weren’t sure what of. It hardly crossed their mind that she might be concerned on their behalf. Why would she?

**

They swayed in a way that reminded Phoebe vaguely of a building in an earthquake, which made her a little uncomfortable sitting in their shadow. Even if she abandoned her little napkin isle in the middle of her mess, she was still stranded on the counter in front of them. She wouldn’t have much of anywhere to go if they did topple over.

Except bed, of course. She’d just wake up. This was a dream. There was nothing to be afraid of here. Everything was just fine.

“You okay up there?” she asked.

Val stiffened, then shook themself out of it.

“I’m fine, yeah. I’m just tired.”

“It’s like seven am,” Phoebe said critically.

She actually hadn’t been able to get a good look at a clock after waking up shrunk. The one on the far wall had been far enough away that it was too blurry to make out and the last time she’d checked her phone was five-something, before she rolled back over for the rest of her sleep. There was no way to see the stove’s clock from where she was sitting either. But seven felt right, and that was how half of dream logic functioned anyway, right?

“I’m not really a morning person,” they said.

Phoebe laughed.

“Me neither, usually. Maybe you could make some tea with breakfast? It’s that wooden box on the other counter there. Like half of it’s herbal, but I’ve got this matcha and also a green jasmine blend that you’d probably like even if you’re pulling that face at the mention of tea,” she said.

“I think I’ll pass, but thank you. You said you had bagels ‘or something’ we could have?”

Phoebe nodded. She’d tried to come up with something in her kitchen that would’ve been exciting and even revived the hope that some of her thoughts would actually have some kind of impact on the dream—she wasn’t immune to the childish desire to indulge in sweets larger than herself. But if she had summoned donuts, they sure hadn’t landed anywhere in plain sight.

She had some junky cereal, but couldn’t think of a decent way to eat it without basically climbing into the bowl, which was a disgusting idea. There was fruit, but the way Val’s hands shook…she didn’t really want to ask them to chop up anything while she was up on the counter. So the best she could come up with was bagels, unless Val changed their mind about turning on the stove.

They nodded and stepped away, brightening the room several shades as they took their shadow with them. She gawked at the absurd scale of her apartment again, but it was hard to keep her eyes off Val. Even when they didn’t take up most of the horizon, even if she wasn’t currently the size of a teacup, they were weird.

They moved with the grace of a cat, and were so familiar with the layout of the kitchen it was unnerving—they hardly looked at what they were doing. But as soon as they actually reached to grab anything, it was like this was their first time inhabiting a body. They untied the twist on the bagel bag with both hands and a concentration usually reserved for safecracking. Phoebe was glad that they opted to slice the bagel on the other counter, because they picked up the knife with their whole fist like a toddler. They were so clumsy with it, they might as well have just ripped it apart with their hands.

Eventually, Val did manage to pry the bagel into one half and two quarters. The neater looking quarter he set on the napkin in front of Phoebe. They bit their lip and cringed when they noticed her watching them, their long ears folding back to disappear into their curls. They stuttered even less confidently than usual and fidgeted with one of the bread pieces still in their hands as they looked at her expectantly.

“Thanks? Or if we don’t want to eat it plain, there’s cream cheese in the fridge or peanut butter on the second shelf in that cupboard?” she said pointedly.

Val’s elf-y ears popped back up like an excited dog’s might. She sighed. Why couldn’t she get fun ears while she was here? And the bagel—she had stepped up to it while Val turned away to the fridge, and it didn’t look half as pillowy as she’d envisioned, especially with the rough cuts they’d made. Was it so much to ask for a bit of whimsy in her own dream?

She wanted to marvel at impossible things but all of them were sitting out of her reach. Instead of giving her an escape, the dream had only taken the mundane outside her power as well. She felt a brief wave of embarrassment as she asked Val to please add cheese to her bagel chunk as well. She felt like a child: easily impressed and absolutely useless.

Val finished prepping her breakfast and sat down on one of the stools on the other side of the counter. They towered over her just the same and she turned her attention to her own meal. It was strange and dense and difficult to tear through. Mostly, she ended up eating swipes of cheese with the occasional trapped crumb. It wasn’t the saddest breakfast she’d ever eaten, but she still wished she could’ve magicked up something soft and sweet.

She looked up as Val cleared their throat again. They were staring at their own hands, brows furrowed.

“You know, I-I wasn’t here to hurt you, you know. Um, still not, I mean. I wasn’t—I’m not— I wasn’t here for you.” Val said.

“Hm?”

“You said…about me probably being here to rob you? That’s not wrong, exactly. But it’s not supposed to be like this. You normally don’t—wouldn’t—even notice. I just…I don’t want you to worry about that, I guess? I’m not going to hurt you,” they stammered, fidgeting with the hem of their sleeve.

“I didn’t think you were, but thanks, I think? I won’t hurt you either, which seems like, obvious, but you’re so tense that maybe it needs saying,” she said.

“Sorry,” they said, but their shoulders did relax at least a fraction of an inch.

“Sorry I’ve got you so freaked out,” she said with a shrug. “But maybe you could tell me what you are here for?” she asked.

After a long pause, they admitted that they mostly stole food, just things they needed to survive. She frowned. She hadn’t noticed anything missing before, certainly not enough food to sustain a whole second person. Though, that was hardly the strangest detail of the morning.

“You laughed when I said this was a dream. Does this kind of thing happen to you all the time then? And you’re normally…that?”

“This?”

“Like, not a demon, I guess, but some kind of elf? And you see weird magic junk happen? Shrinking? You know who I am, so I’m assuming you know there’s like five and a half feet of me missing?”

“No, I've never seen anything like this, it just happened. I'm hoping it can unhappen soon. I am—was—just here to take some things but I…I can't leave now. And even if I could, I don't think I could leave you to fend for yourself while you’re like this,” Val said.

She frowned as she pulled another handful of bread free. That still wasn’t an answer, still no real explanation, just a nice sentiment. And just hoping for it to change? If she was wrong about this being a dream—if she let herself consider that for even a second—then they needed to find out what was going on and find a way to make it stop. This was almost an interesting dream, she didn't want it to be real.

Phoebe started to say as much as she took a bite and was clumsy enough to try and inhale at the same time and nearly choked herself. She coughed and sputtered and everything got dark as Val’s hand hovered overhead. She waved them off and wheezed, a red flush rising up her cheeks.

“Let me get you some water,” Val said.

Their hand withdrew and left Phoebe to finish recovering on her own. Her throat did burn and she nodded appreciatively. She was going to ask just how exactly Val intended to water her, but watched the answer unfold before she could catch her breath. They grabbed an empty juice carton from her recycling and twisted off the cap.

 There was that discomfort again at how intimately familiar they were with her things. A robber didn’t know she’d finished the orange juice, a stalker did. Or figments of her imagination, hopefully. Phoebe nervously tugged on a stray lock of hair.

“Uh, hey, while you’re up and being so very helpful, would you mind grabbing my phone? It’s in the bedroom, you probably saw it when I was screaming at you,” Phoebe said.

They paused halfway between the sink and Phoebe, for just a split second. They slid her the water and made their way back to their seat without so much as a glance towards her bedroom. They reached back across the counter and tore off half of the bagel half she’d been nibbling at and stuffed their mouth before they had a chance to answer her. She took a drink to soothe her throat while she waited for them to respond. They didn’t.

“Did you hear me? Could you get my phone? Please?”

“Or maybe I could make you some tea after all? I could help you make it, anyways, you’d have to walk me through it.”

“I want my phone,” she said.

A long pause.

“No.”

“Why not? It’s like, twenty steps. I promise it’s way easier than dealing with my janky tea set-up.”

“I’m not giving you your phone.”

“Why?” she demanded, which didn't help her feel any less like a child.

Val managed the briefest of glances in her direction before their face folded into a grimace.

“...I’m not supposed to be in your house. I feel like that’s a pretty good reason to not want you to be making phone calls,” they said.

“Seriously? I’m not gonna call the cops on you! I want the internet, god.”

“Then figure out how to wake up."

“Maybe I could google it if you got me my phone! Aren’t you bored just staring at the wall?”

Val said nothing, instead ignored her as deliberately as they could manage. Phoebe stood up and paced impatiently. She paused after a few laps, looking out into the distant living room. She’d left her tablet out on the coffee table the night before. She had no way to get over there, but it wasn’t actually that far away. She glanced back at Val, who was still staring at nothing. She had an idea that, for at least a few brief seconds, had seemed inspired.

“Hey Siri, call Chelsea!”

Val pushed to their feet, slamming their hand down on the counter so hard that she could feel the impact from several feet away. Again, their intense gaze fell on her like a pair of spotlights, golden and wide. Phoebe faltered, but the words were already out of her mouth. Val looked nearly the same as they had in the moment before bolting this morning, but they didn’t turn away from her this time. Fear was as good at inspiring fight as flight, after all, and all at once Phoebe didn’t have much ability to do either.