#Troy Metcalf

[badmovieihave]

Bad movie I have Babylon 2022

[popentertainment-moviereviews]

JOKER: FOLIE Á DEUX (2024)

Starring Joaquin Phoenix, Lady Gaga, Brendan Gleeson, Catherine Keener, Zazie Beetz, Harry Lawtey, Steve Coogan, Ken Leung, Bill Smitrovich, Jacob Lofland, Leigh Gill, Sharon Washington, Gattlin Griffith, Mac Brandt, Tim Dillon, George Carroll, Mike Houston, John Lacy, Sam Wren Vincent, Troy Metcalf, Jimmy Walker Jr., G.L. McQueary and Brian Donahue.

Screenplay by Scott Silver & Todd Phillips.

Directed by Todd Phillips.

Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures. 138 minutes. Rated R.

I know I’m kind of in the minority on this point, but I can’t even start to tell you how much I hated Todd Phillips’ 2019 movie Joker.

Five years later, here comes the follow-up, and it’s like Phillips said to himself: Hmm… how can we make this story even more annoying? I know! Let’s make it a musical. Better yet, let’s not even completely commit fully to the genre and make it sort of a stealth musical. The cast will start singing inappropriately, but mostly in a relatively subdued manner. None of the other trappings of the style – the dancing, the frenetic movement, the wild visuals, the boisterous chorus lines – need to be used. And we won’t even write our own music, we’ll just dust off some 60s and 70s pop songs and overly familiar standards from the Great American Songbook.

On the plus side, this time around, I don’t think I’ll be all that lonely in hating Joker: Folie à Deux. Because I really, really did hate it. If possible, this sequel is even more unbearable than the original. Imagine that.

I can’t imagine anyone actually liking Joker: Folie à Deux – then again, I felt that way about the first one, too, so maybe I’m not the best judge. Nonetheless, early buzz on the sequel seems pretty negative, so hopefully it’s not just me.

I take no joy in saying that. I actually was rather looking forward to the original Joker movie until I saw it. Because the truth is, Batman is a relatively dull superhero, but the one thing he always did have going for himself were the best villains. And a movie about arguably the most interesting of Batman’s villains could be amazing.

It’s just not this series.

At least the first Joker had something of a storyline. Granted, it was a pretty blatant rip-off of Martin Scorsese’s 1983 cult favorite The King of Comedy – they even cast that film’s star Robert De Niro in a major supporting role to make the connection even more obvious – but it was something of a plot.

Joker: Folie à Deux, on the other hand, is nearly two and a half hours (!!!) of Arthur Fleck (Joaquin Phoenix) being psychoanalyzed and mistreated in an insane asylum. (Like we didn’t know he was mentally deranged from the first time he appeared on screen in the first film.) Then it switches to being a courtroom drama about Arthur’s criminal trial for the mayhem he committed in the first film, although it plays out like an episode of Law & Order: Super Villains Unit.

While in the asylum, he meets his one true love, Lee Quinzel, who becomes Harley Quinn. (Of course, in the first Joker movie, Arthur imagined Zazie Beetz’ character – who reappears here as a witness for the prosecution – was his one true love, so Arthur isn’t too reliable in matters of the heart.) Lady Gaga is okay, if way too subdued, as the future Harley. She certainly won’t make anyone forget Margot Robbie’s powerhouse performances in the same role.

My biggest problem with Joker: Folie à Deux is the same as my problem with the first film. In both of these films, the Joker is played as a sad, pathetic, miserable loser who has life take a massive dump on him throughout the entire running time. Is this really supposed to be the guy who is going to be Batman’s greatest nemesis?

At least in the original film, Arthur eventually snapped and went on a violent killing spree, which was not a great, moral or relatable storyline, but at least he did something. In Folie à Deux, any violence or mayhem which he commits is mostly done in fantasy sequences, which just makes him seem even sadder and more impotent in real life.

After it was over, someone who apparently enjoyed the movie much more than I did tried to convince me that Folie à Deux is a movie that shows the depths a man will go to for love. However, his relationship with Lee is so dysfunctional, so toxic, so driven by mania, that it’s hard to root for a happy ever after for these two crazy kids. They – and the world – are probably better off with them separate. We know that is not the case from the comics, although the ending does put that in doubt.

As I said in the original review five years ago, Joker has been known to inspire many complicated emotional reactions. Pity has never really been one of them.

However, even more than I pitied the Joker in these two movies, I mostly pity myself because I have now wasted about four and a half hours of my life watching this sad saga.

Jay S. Jacobs

Copyright ©2024 PopEntertainment.com. All rights reserved. Posted: October 3, 2024.

[kaijuboarcreations]

Into the Andersonverse: A full timeline of events for the confirmed continuity of Gerry Anderson Supermarionation shows (Fireball XL5 to Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons)

(Disclaimer*: i actually opted to follow Thunderbirds are Go canon for ages *don't ask me why it's a process plus the actual ages and birth order for the boys is heavily debated in both the og series and are go so don't at me* Also yes I took a few creative liberties to fill in some blanks they are marked by ** so you know what isn't canon, and yes it doesn't always make sense *aka how Venus is a war orphan if the war ended before she was born* but you can't blame me for that, that's just how it was written)

Anyways yall better love me for this it took me three days to make

1988: Sally "Grandma" Tracy is born (maiden name unknown)

2012: Professor Mathew Matic is born in Britain -Aloysius "Nosey" Parker is born - Jeff Tracy is born in Kansas to Grant and Sally Tracy**

2015: Commander Sam Shore (real name Samuel Arthur)is born in Kansas

2017: Charles Grey (Colonel White) is born in England

2028: European Atomic War and Mass Riots in France

2029: Conrad Turner (Captain Black) is born in Manchester, England

2030: Steve Zodiac is born on Mars -Sam Shore leaves home to join the navy

2031: Edward Wilkie (Dr Fawn) is born in Yalumba, Australia

2033: Professor Matic graduates with 22 degrees in astrophysics, robotic, and astronomy, and becomes a navigator for Zero-X interplanetary missions -Sam Shore is given command of a World Security Service submarine -Bradley Holden (Captain Gray) is born in Chicago

2034: Sam Shore befriends Admiral Jack Denver -Patrick Donaghue (Captain Magenta) is born in Dublin Bay, Ireland -The European Atomic War ends (the war left Venus and Conrad Turner orphaned)

2035: Venus is born in Paris -George Lee "Phones" Sheridan is born in South Carolina -Adam Svenson (Captain Blue) is born in Boston -Richard Fraiser (Captain Ochre) is born in Detroit

2036: Paul Metcalfe (Captain Scarlet) is born in Hampshire, England

2037: Jeff Tracy becomes a Colonel for the US Air Force and later transfers to the Space Agency -Patrick Donaghue and his parents immigrate to the US, living in poverty in Manhattan

2038: Troy Tempest is born in New York City -Jeff Tracy marries Lucielle** -Charles Grey graduates from the University of East Angila -Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward is born to Sir Hugh and Lady Amelia**

2040: War damage fixed -Sam Shore marries Elaine MacDonald -Scott Tracy is born**

-"Brains" is born -The Southeast Asia revolts -Juliette Pontoin (Destiny Angel) is born in Paris

2041: Atlanta Shore is born from Elaine and Sam in California -Seymour Griffiths (Lieutenant Green) is born in Trinidad

2042: John Tracy is born** -The Iceland Dispute -The Panama-Ithsmus rebellion begins -Karen Wainwright (Symphony Angel) is born in Cedar Rapids -Chan Kwan (Harmony Angel) is born in Tokyo

2043: The Panama-Ithsmus rebellion ends -Magnolia Jones (Melody Angel) is born in Atlanta -Dianne Simms (Rhapsody Angel) is born in London

2044: Virgil Tracy is born**

2045: Professor Matic takes the role as a professor for Universe University -Conrad Turner joins the British Air Force

2046: Marina is born -Gordon Tracy is born** -Charles Grey moves up to the rank of 'Captain' -The British Civil War begins (during which Conrad Turner is badly wounded)

2047: Steve Zodiac joints WSP Academy -Tanusha "Kayo" Kyrano/Tintin Kyrano is born** -Britain joins the World Government -Charles Grey becomes Admiral while commanding the World Navy Destroyer fleet -Conrad Turner joins the World Air Force

2048: Charles Grey joins the Universal Secret Service and marries his field partner Elizabeth Sonmers -Edward Wilkie starts medical school in Brisbane

2049: the British sector of the USS is reorganized by Charles Grey

2050: Professor Matic designs and builds the world's first Nutomic Hyperdrive Motor and is given an honorary position as Major while heading the XL project -Alan Tracy is born** -Charles Grey is promoted to the head of the USS British sector

2051: Steve Zodiac becomes an astronaut and sub-lieutenant at Space City -Prototypes of the XL project are debuted including XL1 Alpha -Adam Svenson receives a full ride scholarship to Harvard University at age 16

2052: the Anti-Bereznik Riots (of which Patrick Donaghue was involved where he was later arrested and imprisoned for 90 days)

2053: Steve Zodiac befriends space explorer Jim Ireland who sets off on a 10 year voyage -Seymour Griffiths loses his parents in an air disaster

2054: Richard Fraiser joins the World Government Police Corps after being rejected from university and the Air Force -Bradley Holden graduates from the World Navy Academy in San Diego immediately enlisting in the World Navy submarine service

2055: Steve is promoted to captain and is assigned to co-pilot Fireball XL5 -Conrad Turner joins the World Space Patrol and mans Fireball XL3 -Adam Svenson joins the World Aeronautic Society as a test pilot -Patrick Donaghue finishes his studies and graduates from Yale University with degrees in physics, electrical engineering, and technology and he takes a job as a computer programmer for a firm in Brooklyn but soon quit for a life of crime -Edward Wilkie graduates from Brisbane with degrees in medicine and biology and joins the Australian sector of the World Medical Organization as assistant medical controler. Later that same year he is promoted to health controller of the Scandinavian sector.

2056: Venus joins the World Space Patrol -Colonel Grange suffers a mental breakdown while piloting Fireball XL5 leaving Steve to bring them to safety -Marina's mother dies -Troy Tempest joins the World Navy Academy in San Diego -Lucielle Tracy passes away

2057: All Fireball XL ships are outfitted with the Nutomic Hyperdrive Motor -Paul Metcalfe graduates from Winchester University with degrees in History, Technology, and Mathematics -Adam Svenson is promoted to active field agent for WAS -Patrick Donaghue becomes a kingpin for organized crime in New York due to his leadership over several gangs and hacking abilities -Edward Wilkie revolutionizes the WMO's medical technology through robots which places him in the position of Administrator for Advancements in Medicine and Medical Science -Juliette Pontoin attends University in Rome

2058: Elaine Shore suffers a heart attack and passes away -Phones takes on work as a mercenary -Karen Wainwright attends Yale University at age 16

-Lady Penelope becomes chief operative of the Federal Agents Beareu where she meets Jeff Tracy (wait...... F.A.B..... so that's what that stands for....)

2059: Paul Metcalf begins study at West Point Military University in New York -Richard Fraiser transfers to Chicago and takes on one of the toughest crime syndicates in the country

2060: An attack on his vessel causes Sam Shore to lose use of his legs. He and Atlanta move to Marineville to command the World Aquanaut Security Patrol (which is newly established)

-Gordon Tracy interns with WASP** -Troy Tempest is captured on a failed mission and is rescued by Phones who he convinces to join the navy -Troy Tempest arrives at WASP Marineville -Juliette Pontoin joins the World Army Air Force and is transferred to the Intelligence Corps where she hones her skills as a pilot, leads the Woman's Fighter Squadron

2061: Magnolia Jones joins the World Army Airforce at age 18

-Gordon Tracy suffers an accident while working with a high speed hydrofoil**

2062: the start of the events of Fireball XL5 -Jeff Tracy establishes International Rescue -Seymour Griffiths graduates University in Kingston Jamaica with degrees in telecommunications, technology, and music and joins WASP as a junior hydrophone operator (his brothers followed but were killed in an accident which Seymour transferred as a telecommunications operator at Marineville) -Bradley Holden joins WASP as the Lieutenant commander security chief and takes the role of piloting Stingray in her prototype years -Karen Wainwright becomes a full fledged field agent for Universal Secret Service after several years of training -Magnolia Jones becomes lost while taking the XKF 115 aircraft on a test flight and loses contact with control -Chan Kwan graduates University and is determined to fly solo around the world

2063: Venus earns a degree in Space Psychology -Steve Zodiac is awarded Astronaut of the Year -Paul Metcalfe graduates from West Point and joins the World Air Force -Juliette Pontoin leaves WAAF to start her own pilot contracting firm -Magnolia Jones returns after being lost for almost a year after rebuilding her craft from the wreckage. She shortly leaves to focus on flying and setting up a freelance air taxi service -Dianne Simms meets Lady Penelope and is offered a position in the FAB to train as an agent

2064: Bradley Holden receives a severe back injury taking him out of the line to duty and landing him a desk job at Marineville -Troy Tempest becomes captain of Stingray and takes on Phones as his co-pilot -Chan Kwan attempts her voyage around the world but stops to answer a distress call to rescue a group of men from a burning tanker ship in the Pacific. Six months later she tries again and succeeds

2065: the events of Thunderbirds begins -the Spectrum Organization is established and Charles Grey turns down the position of Supreme Commander of the USS to take on his role as "Colonel White" for Spectrum under the Spectrum Selection Committee -Seymour Griffiths joins Spectrum under the codename "Lieutenant Green" -Conrad Turner joins Spectrum under the codename "Captain Black" and quickly climbs the ranks as Spectrum's top agent -Paul Metcalfe joins Spectrum under the code name "Captain Scarlet" (thanks to recommendation from Conrad) -Adam Svenson joins Spectrum under the code name "Captain Blue" -Patrick Donaghue is pardoned for his crimes and is offered a position as an agent of Spectrum under the code name "Captain Magenta" -Dr Edward Wilkie is approached by Spectrum to become the Supreme Medical Commander of Cloudbase and given the codename "Doctor Fawn" -Juliette Pontoin is approached to join Spectrum's squadron of fighter pilots and is given the codename "Destiny Angel" -Magnolia Jones is selected by Spectrum as a fighter pilot and is given the codename "Melody Angel" -Lady Penelope quits her role in the FAB to focus on her work with International Rescue. The FAB dissolves soon after. -Dianne Simms is forced to leave the FAB and becomes a chief security officer for the Euro-Charter Airline company -Chan Kwan's father dies and she takes over the family air taxi company 2066: Richard Fraiser fakes assassination and joins Spectrum under the code name "Captain Ochre" -Bradley Holden clears a health check under Spectrum and is recruited as an agent under the codename "Captain Gray"

-Karen Wainwright quits her work with the USS to become a pilot full time. Shortly after she passes her exam to join Spectrum and joins the Angel squadron under the codename "Symphony Angel" -Dianne Simms is approached by Spectrum to join the Angel squadron and is given the codename "Rhapsody Angel"

-Chan Kwan is approached by the Spectrum Selection Committee to become an Angel pilot, in which she is accepted and given the codename "Harmony Angel"

2068: the events of Thunderbirds end and the events of Captain Scarlet begin (the Mysterons declare war on Earth after the Zero X Mars expedition comes across their settlement and attacks)

[marastriker]

[aaronashea]

[glennk56]

Troy Metcalf. Known mostly as a semi-regular on The Middle as Mike Heck’s employee, Jim. Most of these photos are from that show. One is from an appearance on Hot in Cleveland, pictured with Wendie Malick. And the last photo is from a local advertisement. It was on YouTube. Too bad it was so blurry. 

[sweet-dining-car]

StEx Appreciation Month Day 3: Greaseball

Favorite song the character is in:

Umm, Laughing Stock and Pumping Iron. He's just so awesome! I know in Laughing Stock he's being a bully, and I don't condone that behavior, but his voice! It's so strong! Is that even a way to describe someones voice? Anyhoot, Pumping Iron is also a really good one because, umm strong boi plz bench press me, the vocals and dance is really good, especially when he does them jump splits. Nice!

Side note, idk if it can really be counted but Rusty King of the Track just for S.O.R.R.R.Y

Favorite actor for this character:

Imma be honest, all. Nearly all that is. I love them all so much but I'll just do a few.

David Brown, Ben Carruthers, Drue Williams, Andreas Wolfram, Matthew Goodgame, Chris Barron, Nigel Casey, Troy A. Burgess, Danny Metcalfe, Jeff Shankley, John Schiappa

Favorite ship with this character:

GreaseDinah

Just to be clear I don't ship it when it was abusive, only after that bit in London.

I find i adorable, and so cute and dynamic. Like she can spell and he can't it's just~ I know a lot of people don't ship them but I do believe that change is possible. Another thing I really like about this ship is that its exactly like the smol and toll relationship dynamics. I just see them doing cute things like cuddling or feeding ducks together. Ahhh so cute!

Favorite thing about this character:

Soooooo stronk! This man- I love this boi I just- *aggressively simps*

I love him so much if that answers your question. I honestly just want to hug him and thats all.

Something you’d change:

I would make him less of a bully but thats his role in the plot to be an antagonist. I don't really know what I would change other than that, I was going to say make him less dumb but I love him dumb. Maybe make him blond like on B'way, I like that

Random headcanon:

Coming from a dyslexic, I do believe that Greaseman might be dyslexic. But since I say that fairly often I'll do something else as well. He can't cook well but he can make bagel bites. That's literally all he eats if Dinah doesn't cook for him.

Unpopular opinion:

Post London GreaseDinah isn't toxic

I do believe that Greaseball can change. It seems like people don't believe in him to change, and say that he just apologized to use Dinah, but lets check that shall we? Greaseball told Dinah not to cry for him and said he was done. If he wanted to use her wouldn't he have told to continue crying or something? And if he said he's done and finished, I think he hit rock bottom. And even the apology, he could have just said sorry instead of spelling it. I do understand that the spelling was mostly a joke for the audience with she could spell but he can't, but still, he humiliated himself to apologize like that to her that would be meaningful to Dinah.

Also...I usually hc Greaseball as straight don't @ me

@stexappreciationmonth

[artwalktv]

hsi.org/SaveRalph SAVE RALPH Written & Directed By SPENCER SUSSER Produced By SPENCER SUSSER JEFF VESPA LISA ARIANNA Cast TAIKA WAITITI RICKY GERVAIS ZAC EFRON OLIVIA MUNN POM KLEMENTIEFF TRICIA HELFER LIV TENNET Cinematographer Tristan Oliver BSC Editor Spencer Susser MODEL BUILD AND SHOOT ANDY GENT, ARCH MODEL AND FILM STUDIOS MODEL SHOOT ARCH FILM STUDIO Stop Motion Producer Lisa Hill Animation Director and Animator Tobias Fouracre Camera Operator Mark Swaffield VFX Supervisor Neil Riley Motion Control Stuart Galloway Justin Pentecost MODEL MAKING ARCH MODEL STUDIO Art Direction Andy Gent Modellers Christy Matta Stefano Cordioli Jade Gerrard Sofia Serrano Marina Ralph Andrew Saunders Kat Probert Patrycja Cichocka Angela Quartaroli Josie Corben Angela Pang Ofelya Ka Roddy Mcdonald Mick Chippington Mark Fisher Mitch Barnes Gary Welch Molly Cooper Florence Ford Roy Bell Elizabeth Riley Claudia Brugnaletti Executive Producer PETER KLINE - DONNA GADOMSKI - TROY SEIDLE Policy Advisor AVIVA VETTER Re-Recording Mixer…… Robert Mackenzie  Sound Editor…… James Ashton Sound Assistant…… Jessica Meir Additional Dialogue ……  Christopher Weekes VFX & Online…… Siamese Siamese Executive Producer…… Francesca Hope Post Co-ordinators…… Dana Harrold Ainsley Pettitt     VFX Technical Director & Lead Artist - Andrew Buckley VFX Artists - Kristen King - Antony Webb Color - Tim Stipan, Company3 Behind The Scenes Fuschia Kate Sumner - Ross Metcalf - Thomas Lee - Gary Blake Special Thanks Vanessa Buckley - Michael Gracey - Bob Wallerstein - Matthew Wallerstein - alldayeveryday - Jamie Hilton - Jessie Hilton - Howard Cearns - Emma Cearns - Jeffrey Flocken - Kim Davis-Wagner & Justine Arteta - Anna Frostic - Tom O’Connell Ohad Rein - Denson Baker - Grant Sputore - Nash Edgerton - Company 3

[captainkippen]

for the hsm fic can u tell us which character resembles who from hsm? i haven’t watched it (oops) so i want to google the plot w am characters in mind?

TJ = Troy

Cyrus = Gabriella

Kira = Sharpay

Walker = Ryan

Jonah = Chad

Buffy = Taylor

Andi = a character I have made up, costume designer for the drama club and best friend of Iris. She knows all the deets.

Iris = Kelsi

Coach Rez = Mr Bolton (side note: I'm making him TJ's step dad)

Dr Metcalf = Ms Darbus

Then in the background you've got Marty, Amber and others floating around

[goryhorroor]

teen titans (1960s-1970s)

(brenton thwaites as dick grayson/robin) (my top choice)

(matt hit as wally west/kid flash) (look at this gem) (credit to daisyjhonson for header)

(avan jogia as garth/tempest) 

(emeraude toubia as donna troy/wondergirl) (credit to wadewicons for header)

(taron egerton as roy harper/speedy) (yeah this is his red arrow costume, but the speedy one is horrific and I cannot stand it) (also this kid can shoot an arrow since he was training for his recent movie Robin Hood)

(abigail cowen as lilith clay/omen)

(julian morris as don hall/dove)

(jesse metcalfe as henry hall/hawk)

(shameik moore as malcolm duncan/guardian)

(anastasia tsilimpiou as tula/aquagirl) 

(yara shahidi as karen beecher/bumblebee)

[unclescurvy]

2019 NFL Rookies of the Year

Let’s keep track of the best rookie performances from week to week. At the end of the year, hopefully we can make a legit case for the offensive and defensive rookies of the year based on that info.

WEEK 1

OFFENSE: WR Marquise Brown (BAL)

Honorable Mention: RB Josh Jacobs (OAK), QB Gardner Minshew (JAX), TE T.J. Hockinson (DET), WR Terry McLaurin (WAS), WR A.J. Brown (TEN), QB Kyler Murray (ARZ), P J.K. Scott (GB), OT Jawaan Taylor (JAX), G Dalton Risner (DEN)

DEFENSE: LB Cole Holcomb (WAS)

Honorable Mention: DE Clelin Ferrell (OAK), S Jonathan Abram (OAK), LB Dre Greenlaw (SF), DE Nick Bosa (SF)

WEEK 2

OFFENSE: QB Kyler Murray (ARZ)

Honorable Mention: C Erik McCoy (NO),  RB Josh Jacobs (OAK), RB Devin Singletary (BUF), WR Deebo Samuel (SF), WR Marquise Brown (BAL)

DEFENSE: S Darnell Savage (GB) 

Honorable Mention: S Khari Willis (IND), LB Jahlani Tavai (DET),  CB Kendall Sheffield (ATL), LB Quincy Williams (JAX), DE Chase Winovich (NE), CB Greedy Williams (CLE), DE Charles Omenihu (HOU)

WEEK 3

OFFENSE: QB Daniel Jones (NYG)

Honorable Mention: QB Gardner Minshew (JAX), RB Miles Sanders (PHI), RB Tony Pollard (DAL), WR Mecole Hardman (KC), KR/PR Deonte Harris (NO); TE Dawson Knox (BUF)

DEFENSE: LB Devin Bush (PIT)

Honorable Mention: LB Josh Allen (JAX), DE Brian Burns (CAR), LB Ryan Connelly (NYG), S Darnell Savage (GB), LB Cole Holcomb (WAS), CB Jimmy Moreland (WAS)

WEEK 4

OFFENSE: WR A.J. Brown (TEN)

Honorable Mention: WR Diontae Johnson (PIT), RB Miles Sanders (PHI), QB Gardner Minshew (JAX)

DEFENSE: LB Devin Bush (PIT)

Honorable Mention: S Khari Willis (IND), LB Ryan Connelly (NYG)

WEEK 5

OFFENSE: RB Josh Jacobs (OAK)

Honorable Mention: QB Gardner Minshew (JAX), QB Kyler Murray (ARZ), WR Darius Slayton (NYG)

DEFENSE:  LB Nick Bosa (SF) 

Honorable Mention: LB Devin Bush (PIT),  LB Troy Reeder (LAR), LB Cole Holcomb (WAS), CB Byron Murphy (ARZ), S Roderic Teamer (LAC), LB Josh Allen (JAX), CB Sean Murphy-Bunting (TB)

WEEK 6

OFFENSE: QB Kyler Murray (ARZ)

Honorable Mention: WR Terry McLaurin (WAS),  RB Miles Sanders (PHI), OT Dennis Daley (CAR)

DEFENSE: LB Devin Bush (PIT)

Honorable Mention: LB Troy Reeder (LAR), S Juan Thornhill (KC), DE Charles Omenihu (HOU)

WEEK 7

OFFENSE: RB Josh Jacobs (OAK)

Honorable Mention: WR Preston Williams (MIA), OT Justin Skule (SF)

DEFENSE: LB Nick Bosa (SF)

Honorable Mention: DT Jeffery Simmons (TEN), S Roderic Teamer (LAC), LB Troy Reeder (LAR)

WEEK 8

OFFENSE: QB Daniel Jones (NYG)

Honorable Mention: RB David Montgomery (CHI), QB Gardner Minshew (JAX), WR Deontae Johnson (PIT), RB Miles Sanders (PHI), WR Hunter Renfrow (OAK), G Elgton Jenkins (GB)

DEFENSE: LB Nick Bosa (SF)

Honorable Mention: S Marquise Blair (SEA), S Roderic Teamer (LAC), LB Josh Allen (JAX)

WEEK 9

OFFENSE: WR D.K. Metcalf (SEA) 

Honorable Mention: RB Josh Jacobs (OAK) , WR Preston Williams (MIA), WR Hunter Renfrow (OAK), QB Kyler Murray (ARZ), RB Devin Singletary (BUF), TE Noah Fant (DEN), TE Dawson Knox (BUF), P J.K. Scott (GB)

DEFENSE: LB Devin White (TB)

Honorable Mention: CB Nik Needham (MIA), LB Mack Wilson (CLE), LB Drue Tranquill (LAC)

WEEK 10

OFFENSE: WR Darius Slayton (NYG) 

Honorable Mention: QB Daniel Jones (NYG), QB Kyler Murray (ARZ), WR Marquise Brown (BAL), WR Deebo Samuel (SF), RB Josh Jacobs (OAK)

DEFENSE: DE Clelin Ferrell (OAK)

Honorable Mention: DT Dalvin Tomlinson (NYG), LB Drue Tranquill (LAC),  S Taylor Rapp (LAR), LB David Long (TEN), CB Nik Needham (MIA), LB Dre Greenlaw (SF), CB Jamel Dean (TB)

WEEK 11

OFFENSE: WR Deebo Samuel (SF)

Honorable Mention: QB Kyler Murray (ARZ), RB Josh Jacobs (OAK), P Jamie Gillan (CLE)

DEFENSE: DE Maxx Crosby (OAK)

Honorable Mention: LB Devin White (TB),  LB Dre Greenlaw (SF), CB Rock Ya-Sin (IND), CB Trayvon Mullen (OAK), CB Nik Needham (MIA)

WEEK 12

OFFENSE: WR A.J. Brown (TEN)

Honorable Mention: RB Devin Singletary (BUF), RB Benny Snell (PIT)

DEFENSE: LB Devin White (TB)

Honorable Mention: LB Cole Holcomb (WAS), CB Corey Ballentine (NYG), CB Sean Murphy-Bunting (TB), CB Amani Oruwariye (DET)

WEEK 13

OFFENSE: RB Josh Jacobs (OAK)

Honorable Mention: C Patrick Mekari (BAL), QB Dwayne Haskins (WAS)

DEFENSE: DT Ed Oliver (BUF)

Honorable Mention: LB Devin White (TB), LB Montez Sweat (WAS), LB Josh Allen (JAX), S Juan Thornhill (KC), S Darnell Savage (GB), CB Sean Murphy-Bunting (TB), S C.J. Gardner-Johnson (NO), DT Shy Tuttle (NO), CB David Long, Jr. (LAR), S Taylor Rapp (LAR)

WEEK 14

OFFENSE: QB Drew Lock (DEN)

Honorable Mention: WR Darius Slayton (NYG), TE Noah Fant (DEN), WR A.J. Brown (TEN), QB Devlin Hodges (PIT), RB Devin Singletary (BUF), WR Diontae Johnson (PIT), OT Kaleb McGary (ATL)

DEFENSE: S Khari Willis (IND)

Honorable Mention: LB Oshane Ximines (NYG), DT Jeffery Simmons (TEN)

WEEK 15

OFFENSE: WR A.J. Brown (TEN)

Honorable Mention: QB Dwayne Haskins (WAS), QB Gardner Minshew (JAX), RB Tony Pollard (DAL), RB Miles Sanders (PHI), WR Terry McLaurin (WAS)

DEFENSE: CB Sean Murphy-Bunting (TB)

Honorable Mention: LB Mack Wilson (CLE), S Juan Thornhill (KC)

WEEK 16

OFFENSE: QB Daniel Jones (NYG)

Honorable Mention: QB Dwayne Haskins (WAS), WR Hunter Renfrow (OAK), WR Diontae Johnson (PIT), RB Miles Sanders (PHI), TE Kaden Smith (NYG), WR Steven Sims (WAS)

DEFENSE: DE Dre’Mont Jones (DEN)

Honorable Mention: LB Dre Greenlaw (SF), LB Bobby Okereke (IND), LB Derick Roberson (TEN)

WEEK 17

OFFENSE: WR A.J. Brown (TEN)

Honorable Mention: QB Gardner Minshew (JAX), RB David Montgomery (CHI), RB Benny Snell (PIT), WR Hunter Renfrow (OAK), WR Deebo Samuel (SF), TE Kaden Smith (NYG), WR D.K. Metcalf (SEA)

DEFENSE: LB Montez Sweat (WAS)

Honorable Mention: LB Dre Greenlaw (SF), LB Devin Bush (PIT), DE Maxx Crosby (OAK), S Taylor Rapp (LAR)

[what-if-rpg]

We would love to get some apps this week. Our most wanted characters are  Noah Puckerman, Tina Cohen-Chang, Gabriel Berry and Lucy Blossom, but, we still have some other open characters. Come check us out? Under the cut, you will be able to see who we have open, though. Check us out!

CANONS

Danielle Harper

Kurt Hummel

Sam Evans

Kitty Wilde

Unique

Shane Tinsley (FC up to RPer)

Susan Sylvester

William Schuester

Matt Rutherford

April Rhodes

Noah Puckerman (FC: Jesse Metcalfe)

Jake Puckerman

Emma Pillsbury

Sugar Motta

Bree Jordan

Holly Holliday

Judy Fabray

Shelby Corcoran

Tina Cohen-Chang

Mike Chang

Azimio Adams

ORIGINALS

Avery Fabray (FC: Lily James)

Felix Hudson (FC: Charlie Gillespie)

Jordan Jackson (FC: Zac Efron)

Shannon Wilde (FC: Hunter Schafer)

Jasper St. James (FC: Rudy Pankow)

Lei Readdie (FC: Shay Mitchell)

Zara Pillsbury (FC: Madelina Petsch)

Stephanie Pierce (FC: Camden Scott)

Clara Padilla (FC: Camila Mendes)

Valentino Lopez (FC: Wilmer Valderrama)

Treyvon Jones (FC: Mason Gooding)

Talisa Jones (FC: Laura Harrier)

Levi Jones (FC: Michael B. Jordan)

Kyan Jones (FC: Jeremy Pope)

Billie Jones (FC: Alexandra Shipp)

Benjamin Hudson (FC: Shawn Mendes)

Daniel Fabray (FC: Hunter Parrish)

Lucy Blossom (FC: Olivia Wilde)

Gabriel Berry (FC: Joshua Bassett)

Troy Adams (FC: John Boyega)

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Liam Smith vs. Anthony Fowler + Undercard Press Conference Quotes

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Published: October 09, 2021

Eddie Hearn, Matchroom Sport Chairman: “This is a great place, a great city, but especially when you’ve got a great fight. I think everybody here knows their boxing; everybody here knows we’ve got an unbelievable main event, but everyone knows we’ve got an incredible card from top to bottom. This Saturday, live and exclusive on DAZN around the world. “The main event headlined by Liam Smith vs. Anthony Fowler, it’s a breath-taking matchup but what an undercard we have as well. So many great fighters and fights, talk about 50/50’s from the opening bell of the show on Saturday. We could have sold this arena out two or three times, there’s something very special about a sold-out arena in Liverpool and we cannot wait.” Liam Smith: “I feel good, the way the fighter should feel in fight week. We’re here, if I’m not ready now I’ll never be, so I’m just looking forward to Saturday and being back. I had a long time out, 17 months, I got the cobwebs off in Russia and you’ll see a better Liam Smith. “He [Anthony] talks about desire and that, you’re obsessed with it and the stuff he posts out. Desire, I’ve lived in a house with three brothers where boxing’s been our life, we’ve got to have desire to do stuff we’ve done, it’s not like I’ve won British Titles and that. We’ve all got desire, we can all push to that, we’ll see Saturday. “I still think it’s a step too far for him, you can twelve rounds in the gym with as many sparring partners as you want but it’s different under the lights with ten-ounce gloves on and when you’ve got adrenaline inside of you. Shane can help as much as he wants but when the bell goes it’s only me and Anthony in there. “Let’s not beat around the bush, you [Eddie] made this, Anthony didn’t call you for me you did. “You put a fight to me, and I’ll take it, I’ll think right okay what’s the pro and cons to it I’ll take it. I said to my manager let me know if the Fowler fight is the route we’re going, because if that’s the route we’re going then so be it. Obviously in hindsight I wasn’t really looking at Anthony as an opponent, he should be fighting for the British Title which I had a long time. He’s humped past that, he’s in a fight now and we’re three days away – we’ll see. “Of course, I do, I’ve got things in my own career and my own pride I want to keep. I’ve never lost to a domestic fighter, and I fully intend of keeping that on Saturday night. As a family we’ve never lost a scouse derby and I fully intend of keeping that. My own aspirations for challenging for a World Title again, if I lose to Anthony Fowler I’ve got no chance of doing that so I’ve got a lot at stake for myself and that’s why I’ve knuckled down that way I have.” Joe McNally, trainer of Liam Smith: “Thanks to everybody for coming, we really appreciate it. Liam is one of a kind in my opinion, I think this is a jump too far for Anthony Fowler. You’ve got Kieran Conway, JJ Metcalf, Troy Williamson, Sergio Garcia, European Champion. It’s the equivalent of being at the chippy getting your chips and Anthony’s jumped the queue – get to the back. He really should have earned his way, waited in the queue to get a shot at this man and it’ll tell on Saturday night. “We’re under no illusion that Anthony Fowler is a quality fighter, good amateur background that I believe was a little bit too long. A lot of wear and tear in that game which is telling in the pro ranks. Shane’s done a good job in finely adjusting to use his reach and height which is working with the type of fighters he’s been fighting. Liam has left no stone unturned, and it will tell Saturday night, definitely. “Liam is a professional, he’s not one minute late and you don’t ask him to do anything twice, it gets done, it’s actually holding Liam Smith back in the gym which is the hard part. Let’s not beat around the bush, if Magomed Kurbanov hadn’t shit his kegs to come here and fight Liam, Fowler wouldn’t be fighting – it should’ve been Kurbanov. You [Eddie] called this fight, you and Shane, Anthony didn’t want it and Liam called your bluff. Now it’s happened hasn’t it, otherwise it wasn’t happening. “Liam will win in style, whether it’s a KO or a punch victory. Liam has left no stone unturned, and he will win, I truly believe it’s not what Fowler does, it’s what Liam Smith turns up. It’s as simple as that.” Anthony Fowler: “I’m grateful for the opportunity, I’m here because I want to be here and win, I want to fight. We don’t call bluffs; we take fights that we believe we can win. I’ve had the best camp of my life, I’m at the best possible version of myself, I’ve had a full camp with no injuries at all, I’m at my physical peak. I’m coming off four straight knockout wins, I’ve been very active, so let’s have it. “He’s been to the top, he’s been World Champion, I haven’t. I’ve had that mad desire since I was 11, it’s all I’ve ever wanted my whole life. I’ve given my whole life to boxing, it’s all paid off luckily enough, but it means nothing without the win, I’m not here to make up the numbers. “I’m fully prepared for it, I’ve been visualising it every day, day in, day out, for weeks and weeks. I couldn’t be in a better place, mentally, my weight, my strength, my sparring, I’ve had some tough, tough sparring. I did twelve rounds, and I was fresh as a daisy, I’m in unreal shape because I haven’t been getting tired, just training, and thinking about this fight – I haven’t stopped. I’m just in a great place. “We’ve both got two arms, two legs, it’s as simple as that – we’re both men. I’ve been active over the last two years, Liam’s had one fight in two years, that bound to play a part. Being inactive and I feel the time is right for me, I feel like this is my time." Shane McGuigan, trainer of Anthony Fowler: “We’ve just been going on as normal, obviously Anthony likes to promote himself and I think he understands he doesn’t have to go out there and shout about this fight, it sold out quickly and the hype is there. He’s knuckled down and stuck to his training, we'rel quietly confident about this fight. “It’s not like there’s no pressure on Anthony, there’s heaps of pressure on him, we believe that this isn’t the ceiling for Anthony Fowler, but we want to win a World Title. We’ve taken this in our stride, but I believe he’s ready for it, he’s 30 years of age, had the experience in the amateurs, he hasn’t had the acid tests but I’m very confident and believe there’s only one winner on Saturday night. “Look at Liam Smith, he shells up well and has got a very good defence, he doesn’t rush into his attacks, he’s intelligent behind his pressure. He’s a very good, intelligent pressure fighter. We’ve had unbelievable sparring for this camp and that’s why I believe Anthony has raised the bar and I’m excited for Saturday night. It’s the biggest test for his career by a mile but I believe it’s one he’s going to overcome. “Anthony’s not one to be in boring fights but neither is Liam Smith. We’ve got a game plan, I know, and Anthony knows what he’s got to do, we’ve drilled it in the gym day in, day out. I just don’t believe Liam is going to be able to bring something new to the table. We know what he does but I believe Anthony is going to win regardless. “We’re going to get the win; I believe both the stoppage and points win are possible." Shannon Courtenay: “It’s going to be a tough fight; she’s coming here with the fire exactly like I did when I won the World Championship, so understand – I’ve already been there. I am World Champion and there’s nothing that she can bring on Saturday night that’s going to take that belt away from me. I’ve worked my arse off to get here and I’m not going nowhere. “I don’t think she [Jamie] has ever gone ten rounds before, I have, I’ve got that experience in the bag. I can stand and go toe-to-toe, or I can box, I can bring both styles. Whatever she comes with I will adapt, I think I’ll drag her into deep waters where she’s never been before and she’s in for a rude awakening. “I’m so excited to actually be here in Liverpool, everyone’s welcomed me beautifully, I actually had an option to either fight on the Joshua card or here and I wanted to fight in Liverpool. I’m buzzing to put on a good show for everyone here and make sure I come home Saturday with that belt.” Jamie Mitchell: “It’s an awesome opportunity, I’m so happy to be here and put on my performance for you guys and let everyone see my talents and skills. “I haven’t had it easy in life, I came up in foster care systems, so this is a great opportunity for me because it mimics my past and having it hard – I’m used to hard times. I’m going to make it really easy for myself on Saturday night.” Ted Cheeseman: “Obviously Troy Williamson is unbeaten, he doesn’t want to lose his unbeaten record he’s going to try his hardest not to do that. I just believe that the experience I’ve picked up, the way I’ve been matured, the way I’ve been becoming an all-round fight, I believe I’m a level above. I’ll have to prove that and put in a good performance on Saturday night. “I’m a veteran on the twelve rounds now, even in the gym in the last few weeks doing the twelve rounds in sparring it’s different to when I’ve done them before. The engine is there now, I know how to train and push myself hard. I’ve done it a lot, for Troy it’s his first time and he’s going to have to have that gut check. “He keeps saying about his power but no disrespect to Troy, he hasn’t been hit yet, I have. That’s the difference, he’s got to worry about what power I hit him with not what power he can hit me with. Everyone can see I’ve got a great chin but how good is his chin.” Troy Williamson: “I think that Ted and I are the two best Super-Welterweights in the division and we’re going to put it all on the line on Saturday night. “I know how tough and fit I am, obviously I haven’t had the opportunity to show I can do twelve rounds because I’ve never needed to. I’m an explosive puncher and I get rid of people; I know deep down that I can do the distance. I’m very fit and very tough, it’s going to be a great fight. “No doubt at all, the hard work has been done. I’ve done the rounds in the gym and it’ll show on Saturday night.” Kieron Conway: “This is a must win fight for me, but the experience out in Texas in and out of the ring was invaluable for me. I think I learnt a lot; I’ve been working on a hell of a lot of stuff in training, things are coming off nicely, I’m in the best shape and form I’ve ever been in. I don’t see a home advantage for James because I think I’m going to come here and make this look easy. “I need to make a statement, if the opportunity comes to get him out of there, I’m going for it. I believe that I can take it as well, I don’t see this fight going 10 rounds, the form that I’m in, I think I’m a different level now. My last performance should kick me up the arse, I’ve got things in gear now, I’m ready to show everyone what I’m about.” James Metcalf: “I’m definitely ready to go. You know you’re saying you didn’t know if I was going to turn up, if I agree to something I’m going to do it, I’m going to be there on the night and I’m going to win as well. “I haven’t in a big city in front of a big crowd like this in a while, I’m really looking forward to that. I just can’t wait now.” Solomon Dacres: “He [Kamil] said it himself, he’ll fight anybody. He’s a tough guy but I’ve got the same mindset. No disrespect to journeymen but I’ll fight anybody. I put the hard work in the gym to show the level I can get to. “I don’t want to have fights that don’t mean anything, I want to gain something from the fight. Kamil has tested good prospects before, and he’s pushed them to the limits – it’s something I need if I want to become World Champion. I need tough tests that are going to prepare me to go onto better things. I’m looking for better fights and going on to even better things hopefully.” Kamil Sokolowski: “This is my first fight with Matchroom, my record might not look so good but I’m a very good boxer. I’ve come here and I’m looking forward to Saturday, I will check the ability of the young prospect Solomon Dacres. I can fight with anyone, I don’t mind, just let me know and I’ll fight.” Luke Willis: “I’m looking forward to Saturday and putting on a masterclass in front of my own city. I’m looking forward to sitting back after and watching the rest of the bill, it’s a great card. “He [Rylan] does what he says on the tin, he comes forward and he swings bombs. I’m not saying he’s the worst boxer in the world but all he’s got on me in power. I think he’s underestimating my power and he’ll find out on Saturday. I do carry power, he’s saying he’s going to come to my city and knock me out, he’ll find out on Saturday what I’m about. “8-ounce gloves on I can hit. On Saturday you’ll see.” Rylan Charlton: “I’ve always been a 135-pound fighter, we just had the opportunities at Welterweight and it was great because I got my name out there. Now it’s time to show everyone what I can really do and show how effective my power is at Lightweight. “Everyone’s got their styles, you’ve back foot fighters which he is, you’ve got come forward fighters, and it’s whoever is going toe execute their game plan better on the night.” Pete McGrail" “Big thank you to you Eddie, Matchroom and DAZN in giving me the opportunity to showcase my skills on the biggest platform. I’m just looking forward to putting a show on for the crowd, it’s been a long time coming to box on a big stage in front of my friends and family – my city. I’m just looking forward to it now. “I’ve been training alongside Fowler for years with Team GB and Beefy has always wished me well over the years if I’ve ever needed any advice. I wish them both a very good fight and may the best man win. “I’ll be bringing World Titles back to the city of Liverpool, I’ve always managed to perform well on the amateur stage, and I’ve always been at a high level. For me, this next year or two I’m looking to be as busy as possible, box as many stars and gain as much experience as possible – we’ll go from there.” Blane Hyland: “I’m looking forward to getting out there on Saturday, really excited, if the ring was set up outside, I’d be waiting for Saturday night. I want to thank Matchroom for getting me on this bill and I’m looking forward to putting on a show in front of my own crowd.” Rhiannon Dixon: “I was out for a long time, around two years because of the pandemic, obviously with my day job that took precedent. I’m just excited to get my career off again and trying to keep as active as possible. “I haven’t come from the conventional route, but I’ve had a crash course in boxing now, I’m learning from the best in Joe, sparring Natasha (Jonas), Anthony (Crolla) has taken me under his wing, he’s a World Champion and knows what he’s doing. I can’t wait to show everyone what I’m about and what I’ve been doing.”

[urbsci]

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[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s 2020 NFL Season Week 10 Extravapalooza

This week’s NFL slate features 5 early games and 6 late games, and allow me to add my voice to the chorus of those asking “Why can’t it be like this EVERY week?” Is it really THAT necessary to try to herd viewers to whatever game Romo or Aikman are calling? Honestly, I hope this is one of the first issues tackled by the incoming Biden administration. If nothing else, a more even game dispersal would make for a more visually symmetrical Extravapalooza, which is a good enough reason for change in and of itself, if you ask me.

My picks are in BOLD, and the lines come to us courtesy of our friends at Vegas Insider. I use the “VI Consensus” line, which is the line that occurs most frequently across Vegas Insider’s list of sportsbooks. Your sportsbook of choice may offer a different number, and if you’d like my opinion on said number A) you are insane, and B) leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer at some point before things kickoff today.

EARLY GAMES

Houston Texans at Cleveland Browns (-4)

Much like Cleveland’s last home game (a 16-6 Week 8 loss to the Raiders), this game is going to be played in extremely shitty conditions, with strong winds and rain expected. The Browns were TERRIBLE offensively in that Raiders game, but this week they’re getting both studly RB Nick Chubb and G Wyatt Teller back, which should be huge for their run game. Facing the Texans’ worst-in-the-league rush defense won’t hurt either. The wind is likely to rob us of the majesty provided by DeShaun Watson-to-Will Fuller bombs, which is a real bummer both for us as viewers and for the Texans as a football team attempting to win games.

Washington Football Team at Detroit Lions (-3)

The Football Team has a pretty good pass defense as it is, and this week they get a somewhat scuffling Matthew Stafford leading a Kenny Golladay-less Lions offense. If the Detroit braintrust were smart, they’d run the ball a bunch and D’Andre Swift would get the bulk of these carries. The Detroit braintrust is not smart. Alex Smith is starting this game for Washington and I hope he makes it through without getting his leg pulverized into ham salad.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Green Bay Packers (-13.5)

Here we have another game expected to impacted by high winds and precipitation. Fun! I’m putting my faith in Mother Nature and Jacksonville’s very decent run game conspiring to keep this one within 2 TDs. The fact that Green Bay’s best defensive player, CB Jaire Alexander, is unlikely to play certainly helps.

Philadelphia Eagles (-4) at New York Giants

The Eagles are getting RB Miles Sanders, DT Malik Jackson and LT Jason Peters back from injury for this one, and they might also get RT Lane Johnson back. This is after getting good-looking rookie WR Jalen Reagor and TE Dallas Goedert back recently. Philadelphia is getting healthy, and it really seems like they should pull away from their truly horrific division mates as the season winds down.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-6) at Carolina Panthers

Man, Tampa Bay got their asses WHOOPED by New Orleans last week. Does that mean they were extra motivated in practice this week and they’ll be super fired up to redeem themselves with a big win on Sunday, or was their performance an on-field manifestation of a locker room beset by strife and disharmony beginning a downward spiral that will last the rest of the season and cause everyone involved in the team’s various splashy roster moves to regret their choices? It’s probably the former, but the latter would be immensely entertaining for me, personally. 

LATE GAMES

Buffalo Bills at Arizona Cardinals (-2.5)

I don’t want to say that Arizona’s defense is good, because they really aren’t, BUT they do have a bunch of ball-hawking, risk-taking guys in their secondary that are likely salivating at the thought of snagging one of Josh Allen’s patented “Fuck it, I’m goin’ deep!” attempts. I’d like the Bills’ chances a whole lot more if their defense was playing anywhere near the level they were at the previous couple of seasons, but for whatever reason they’ve been thoroughly average at best here in 2020. This game has so many wildly entertaining ingredients that I can’t imagine it being a dud regardless of which way it goes.

Denver Broncos at Las Vegas Raiders (-3.5)

The Broncos have been plagued by slow starts this season, and have found themselves down double-digits at halftime in 5 of their last 7 games. The Raiders are seemingly built explicitly to play with a lead, so if it happens here they should be able to grind the injury-riddled Denver defense into dust with RB Josh Jacobs as the game clock, as well as the life of anyone watching, dispassionately bleeds away.

Seattle Seahawks at Los Angeles Rams (-2.5)

The Rams are 5-3, but their wins have come against the 4 NFC East teams and the Bears. They are true bumslayers. On top of that, it genuinely appears that Jared Goff cannot make any decisions on the field without Sean McVay barking them into his helmet, which is truly hilarious. Fortunately for Goff, McVay, and the Rams, this week they get to run it up against a Seattle team missing the top 3 CBs from its already cataclysmically shitty defense. Russell Wilson, D.K, Metcalf, and Tyler Lockett are great, but the L.A. defense is no joke and I think they’ll be able to prevent Russ from cooking enough to feed everyone. That analogy doesn’t even make sense, let’s just move on.

Los Angeles Chargers at Miami Dolphins (-1.5)

Oh hell yeah, we’ve got ourselves quite the sexy young QB matchup here. The Fins are smoking hot right now, having won 4 in a row and 5 of their last 6, and it’s long past time for me to move them from  “Frisky” to “Actually Good” in my personal Power Rankings. The Chargers will have G Trai Turner on the field for the first time since Week 2, and T Bryan Bulaga appears to be good to go after leaving last week’s game with an injury. This will be very helpful for QB Justin Herbert, imo, especially against Miami’s 8th-ranked pass defense (according to Football Outsiders). Common sense says that Miami should be the pick, but my desire to see Herbert actually WIN one of the rollercoaster games his team constantly finds themselves in has commandeered this selection. This game will be a good place to park your eyeballs.

San Francisco 49ers at New Orleans Saints (-9.5)

I’m trying not to overreact to a single game, but I can’t get past how thoroughly the Saints wrecked the Buccaneers last week. In particular, their defense was GREAT. If they’re gonna start locking teams up anywhere near that completely on a consistent basis, all of a sudden they’re firmly in the mix to win it all. I think they keep things rolling defensively against a Niners offense missing its top 2 RBs, its All-World TE, and its #1 WR, all with a backup QB at the helm.

Cincinnati Bengals at Pittsburgh Steelers (-7)

I’m picking the Bengals based on nothing more than the Steelers’ insistence on keeping practically every game close. For as good as Pittsburgh is, the only blowout win they have this season is a 38-7 beatdown of the Browns. They’ve allowed teams like the Giants, Broncos, and most recently the Garrett Gilbert-led Cowboys to hang around for a full 60 minutes, so I don’t see why my man Joe Burrow can’t keep his squad in it til the end.

SNF: Baltimore Ravens (-7) at New England Patriots

I have visions of Baltimore racing out to a lead early and Cam Newton and the Pats offense trying to play catch-up against a good defense for the bulk of the game. It’s not a pleasant thing to think about and I don’t enjoy it. I think that’s what’s gonna happen, though. New England hilariously has 17 players listed as Questionable headed into this one. We might get N’Keal Harry back, though!!!

MNF: Minnesota Vikings (-3) at Chicago Bears

Man, this is a tough one. One one hand, inexplicably getting trounced by a team that’s lost 3 in a row and will be without its starting RB and possibly its #1 WR would be an extremely Vikings thing to do. On the other hand, the Bears are currently being quarterbacked by a man whose play drove Troy Aikman to the brink of homicidal insanity a week ago. I guess I’ll go with the team who can complete forward passes at a reasonable clip, but I don’t feel that great about it. A fun wrinkle to this game is that due to the aforementioned absence of Chicago’s primary ball-carrier, Cordarrelle Patterson is expected to get extended work out of the backfield as a runner. This may really only be exciting for myself and Soused, as we’re longtime Cordarrelle fanboys. WE WILL BE VINDICATED.

Last Week’s Record: 4-9 (Shit!)

Season Record: 58-63-4