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january 2k25 sure keeps delivering, doesn’t it~~~
#(not even counting the closing of the made-to-order mona merch btw)#**nghy canon is here bc the single officially releases on the 17th!!!#***it’s toooootally not bc i just wanted to look at them again ok i promise~~~~~~~~~#but. aaaaaaaa. this is truly the month to lose the precious contents of your wallet…#i hope my vol 2 of the chizuchan manga will arrive with the bonus safely~~~~~ i wanna read the extra bonus comic aaaaaaaaa#t h o u g h ~ ~ the contents of the bonus will be a secret between me and my chizuchan manga folder~~ (provided that it actually comes lol)#bc 1: cleaning is a pain 2: ‘redrawing’ (or at least attempting to) is a pain 3: typesetting is a pain 4: did i mention redrawing is a pain—#im sorry guys i nearly failed art in school y’see~~~~ the ‘c’ in my grades stood for ‘clearly you’re not meant to be an artist’ y’know~~~~#a n y w a y s!!!!! this will be the year!!!! that i finally finish tling idol sengen!!!!! i promise!!!!!!!#(<-was trapped in such a huge traffic jam to the point that the compulsion to clean idol sengen pages was there)#so… if i can get through with cleaning the last bit of it this weekend… i can focus on tling it ~slowly~ whenever i’m free~~~~~~#but aaaaaaa if i go for too long without using my laptop it’ll crash for like 10 times before it finally works like it should…#is the laptop trying to motivate(?) me into tling idol sengen lmao#but man~~~~ the first half of the year is *not* friendly for my wallet lmao#not just hw man… the llss perpetual calendar’s gonna be released in march… and the niji.gaku game’s coming out in… april iirc?#waaaaaaaaaaa i gotta finish idol sengen before april then~~~~~~~~~~ im not gonna have enough time to play niji.gaku’s vn while tling~~~#i gotta work hard and sleep harder ig..#ok back to dinner gn guysssssssssssss
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,, Tied Up Prince ''
Psychotic villain x Isekai'd second prince male reader
Tw/s: bondage, stockholm syndrome-ish, reader is into how the villain puts him in his place, dub-con, ripping clothes, degration, angry sex, punished reader, yandere-like oc, agressive sex.
The original post
The sound of blades clashing is loud. Ear deafening even. The sound continues for what feels like a century to the young man. When it finally stops, he lets out a frustrated sigh. Not being able to guess what will happen next.
The masked man refuses to fall down on his knees. Instead, he limps a bit while looking up at the sword wielding main character, his sword casted aside. His long messy hair covers even more of his features due to the fact his mask has sustained some damage and yet he still finds a way to taunt the other. “你真的觉得这样就结束了吗?” , letting out a chuckle. With only a few seconds left in the episode, the viewer watches in anticipation, wondering what will happen. The semi masked man limps towards the other and out of nowhere, throws needles towards the main character. As he passes out, so do the end credits.
"WHAT!??? IT CAN'T END LIKE THIS???", you freak out over the cliffhanger ending, urgently scrolling to see if it's ongoing or if there are more episodes— unfortunately, it's neither. You feel as if you're about to metaphorically cry due to frustration. Nobody warned you there'd be a huge cliffhanger after 50 episodes! "God damnit!", you yell at nobody in particular while trying to do more research. Maybe if you look hard enough, the 51st episode will appear...right?
Even after 2 hours, you refuse to give up. You've wasted almost 3 whole days to watch this stupid series, it can't just end like that. You even go through some tiktok comments and edits too find any clues to an episode 51. Though, it's odd that nobody cares to mention the fact that there's a huge cliffhanger on the last episode. Everyone seems to be okay with it? That can't be right. Either everyone's crazy or you're going crazy.
"AHA!", you finally find a "clue" of some sort in the official website. It states that although the series does end on episode 50, it's based off of a novel which is completed. Without a second thought, you search it up only to find that the novel name is...your name? It clearly says [Name] [L. Name] as the title. As they say, curiosity killed the cat. You mindlessly click on the link.
“我们终将相遇,灵魂伴侣。”
.ᐟ.ᐟ
'My head's killing me...', when you open your eyes, you're faced with a ceiling. It wouldn't be odd if it weren't for the fact that it's not your ceiling. "What the...", you instantly sit up on the bed to look around. Not only is the ceiling not the one you usually wake up to, the entire room isnt even yours. You scramble to get on your feet, almost sprinting towards the door. When you are about to open it, it opens from the other side. "Ah!", the short, well dressed girl lets out a shocked noise, "your highness, you're up early", she regains her composure and sesms to be waiting for something. You stay quiet for a few seconds which prompts her to try and break the silence, "may I come in..?", to which you take a step to the right, allowing her to enter the spacious bedroom and put down a tray with food. Before she exits, she opens the windows for you to which you thank her for as she walks out the room, leaving you all alone once more.
"Gosh it's bright out", you walk over to the now opened window and look out. The scent of nature lingers on your nose, it calms your panicked mind in just a few seconds. The birds chirping, the leaves rustling, the sun shining brightly. Far different from the traffic jam and loud vehicles you'd normally hear. This gives you enough time to think about the situation in a calm and rational manner. 'Your highness?', is what you think of, along with the fact that the room and environment is vastly different from the messy, dark room you would usually wake up to. Questioning yourself only led to even more questions and so, you turn to look at the plate that has been served to you. Two steamed buns and a few fruits for nutrients.
"Alright let's see what I can find!", you have some optimism in you as you begin your "investigation". The courtyard is ridiculously big and so are the halls. You alnost got lost halfway in! Deciding it's time for a little break, you sit down on a nearby pavilion. "I've been here for almost an hour, am I just dreaming..", you pinch yourself a few times but end up with a red cheek and still no answers. "Ow...", you sigh, nothing has given you any answers.
"What's gotten you so stressed?", a voice rings out behind you, prompting you to turn around just enough to get a glance. A good-looking and well built man stands behind with a small smile on his face. He takes a few steps forward and sits next to you, "I don't think I've ever heard you sigh that loudly before", he tries to lighten up the mood seeing how blue you look right now. "Well...", realizing something, you do a double take, "Zhou Jian!?", you jump up in disbelief to which he responds with a very shocked face, "yes..?", he looks worried for your well, "was I really gone that long?", he chuckles and scratches his head, "I could have sworn it was just a month", you could only stand frozen in time, jaw almost wide open but you manage to keep it closed. "C'mon, sit down, tell 哥哥 what's on your mind", he smiles with his eyes closed, patting the seat next to him. You slowly sit down while staring bullets into him. "Are you mad at me?", he asks with a worried expression, you turn away, realizing your stare was bothering him. "Ahem no, of course not", in all honesty, you're trying your best to act like a younger sibling and it sure it hard when your older brother is THE Zhou Jian.
He had previously heard of your dissatisfaction with how he is almost always away from home so it wasn't unreasonable for him to think that way. "Hm, then?", he asks, tilting his head and moving closer to you. You don't even know what you want...maybe just a bit of help 'recalling' who you are. Of course you can't just say you lost your memories or something like that, it'd worry Zhou Jian.
What to do...you have to continue exploring this strange world but also can't risk alerting Zhou Jian...That's it!
"I think I just need a stroll out", you look at him. He tenses up and his eyebrows begin furrow. "You know that's not a good idea", he shakes his head, shit you just fucked up..how were you supoosed to know you're not allowed out?? "Please? There's something I need to do", you try to plead, "and I won't be out an hour", but no matter how you persist, he doesn't waver. "弟弟, if it truly is important, I'll send someone to do whatever it is for you", he offers an alternative but that doesn't work for you. There is no way to convince him so you think of another idea. You close your eyes for a moment and nod, "it's okay, I changed my mind", giving a half smile.
"Oh...they're so tall..", you look at the walls you planned to climb to get out. You never learned how to climb a rope either so that's out of the question. Maybe your secret get out plan won't be happening afterall.
'Think [Name], think!'
You pace around, trying to think of another plan. Those cliche romance shows lied to you! You can't possibly climb a tall building. While pacing around, you can't help but feel as if you're forgetting something but what? You try your best to recall the whole series, the plot, what happened and what started it.
"Zhou Jian has to defend his kingdom against the villain due to the fact that...", you talk to yourself, trying to regain memory of the show, "the villain seeks out the Kingdom's rumoured hidden temple in order to seize...", as if everything's connected, you remember the most important thing, "..the power within!", your fist gently hits your palm, and your eyes widen with excitement. "That means I probably have powers like that too!", you almost let out a happy noise but remembering that you are most likely going to be spotted faster if you do, you contain yourself. "How to activate it..", you try to think of jumping over the wall, maybe gracefully flying over to the other side but nothing happens. "They make it look so effortless in the shows", you start to wonder if there's really not a single system window to guide you.
"Your highness! It's time for your tea", a maid is clearly looking for you, shouting loudly as she searches for you everywhere. "Oh shit!", you'll get found out in no time if you don't escape now! A sudden wave of panic sends your body suddenly flying over the 40ft tall cement wall. "W-wAoHH", You brace for impact but fortunately for you, your body doesn't hit the ground roughly, infact, your fall is cushioned by an invisible object. You need time to process what just happened but the guards right around the corner says otherwise. Without missing another second, your legs sprint towards the town in hopes of not getting caught red handed. 'It seems my magic is unstable..is it because I'm not from here or is it just my new body that's weak..?'
You huff and huff due to how fast you just ran from the imperial palace to the bustling streets. After a while, you pull yourself together and look around, finally noticing the amazing scent of the street food being sold. "Excuse me", a little girl says, trying to get past you as you're blocking the middle, "sorry!", you instantly move to the side to let her get past. "Now, where to start", your eyes dart around, a mom and daughter sharing a tanghulu, a couple enjoying their stroll together and even a homeless looking man being given a baozi to eat. Looking at everything up close in person gives a different feeling than when you're watching behind a screen. Despite being here, you still have little to no clue as to who you are in this world and what your purpose is. All you know if that you're the brother of the protagonist. In the original show, there were no mentions of the protagonist ever having a younger brother so people assumed he's an only child. The only heir to the thrown, who knew there would be a spare?
Well you can't dwell on that too much, you have to at least find out what arc you're in right now. Maybe by knowing, you'd be able to assist the protagonist in fighting! Technically you're the main character now that you've isekai'd into the world so there's no way you'd be in any sort of danger!
You turn your attention to your right, the neverending displays of food makes your mouth water. Unfortunately, due to you not paying much attention to where you're walking, you bump into someone. The impact was enough to send you stumbling backwards. The stranger's hand instinctively wraps around your waist, preventing you from falling onto the people behind you and potentially creating a domino effect. His taller stature surprises you. Only when you stabilize yourself, he removes his hand. "Next time, be more aware of your surroundings", his voice is somewhat elegant yet intimidating and indifferent. You can't really diciphere him as his face is covered by a very oddly terrifying mask. It definitely stands out which makes you wonder if he does like the attention if brings him or simply he's unaware of his unique accessory. Though, before you can ask anything, he walks in past you, dissapearing into the crowd. Something about him seemed...very familiar.
After several hours of strolling and finding absolutely nothing, you notice the sun going down, dusk is coming and the night is about to settle in. So, you decide to get back to the palace the same way you got out of it, panicking and then being thrown over the wall.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
Nobody seemed to have questioned why you were gone for half the day. Fortunate for you of course but does beg the question why nobody noticed a prince going missing.
In the morning, however, the same maid who had been calling out to you for tea did question where you were. "I wasn't feeling tea", was your simple yet effective answer.
"Gosh I was out for so long and yet found nothing in return", you kick a rock in the courtyard while sighing loudly. The masked man already erased from your mind. What's even worse is that with your hair this long, it takes more effort to take care of it, not to mention the hanfu which made you stand out like a sore thumb. At just a glance, one could tell you're royalty due to your attire. Maybe you should have thought of that before going out yesterday. This time, you'll dress up just like any other commoner there. There must be at least one that doesn't look like a prince's daily outfit in the closet. You look through the ginormous closet, sorting them out one by one until you finally stumble across an acceptable one.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
Back to the bustling streets once more. The smell of food is still as amazing as you remember it. You seem to have forgotten something but fret not, your stomach is here to remind you of it. "I forgot...I didn't have breakfast..", you vaguely remember the picture of a plate filled with food on the table of your room. Well you can't turn back now, you're too far in. "I'll just buy something in the market", you say to yourself, walking towards the nearest food stall which sells roasted meat on sticks. The sight is already mouth watering, you can't wait to sink your teeth into it. "老板! One roasted meat please", you grin ear to ear knowing you'd have one in your hands in a few seconds, "that'll be 3 coins", did you even bring any money? You desperately try to search your hanfu for any signs of coins but to no avail. "C-can I have it...for free?", you awkwardly ask, "hah? Who do you think you are, just so you know, have to feed my family too."
'Time to pull out my status' you thought to yourself, "well, I'm—", "I'll pay for it", a hand behind you gives a few coins to the seller, prompting the seller to give the roasted meat to you. You look behind to see who had stolen your spotlight only to be face to face with yet another mask. The same mask actually. "Thank you but I could handle it by myself", you give a slight smile, "oh? It seems to me you had no money, or perhaps you'd like to pay me back?", you can tell he's a bit annoyed but what you can't tell is that he's amused. "In that case, I take it back", getting a sudden eerie feeling from the man, you leave immediately and he watches you run off.
You run until you're sure he wouldn't be able to see you anymore. "Jeez what even was that..", you wonder to yourself, why did your guts just tell you to run?? That's odd. Really though, something about that man is super familiar but what?
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
6 months have passed since you've been transmigrated to this world. Fortunately, you adapted quite a long time ago. The strange masked man hasn't been seen at all and because of that, you forgot all about him. The past few months have been relatively peaceful, with some royal guards getting occasional injuries from the amount of fights they've been in. Thankfully, Zhou Jian isn't one of them. You had a hard time accepting that your life in the original world might never return but hey, at least you're treated like royalty. The only downside is that you still aren't allowed outside. A huge bummer.
You enjoy some afternoon tea with Zhou Jian as bonding time for the two of you. "I'm surprised you haven't been sent to the battlefield yet", you jokingly comment, earning you a playful glare from the protagonist, "don't jinx it", he puts his porcelain teacup down, "though, it is strange that the scoundrel hasn't shown up in a while", he's referring to his enemy, the man who has been trying to get rid of your kingdom so they say it. "He's so mysterious too, no matter how many men I send to discover more about him, it's as if he doesn't exist at all but at the same time, he does", Zhou Jian says, looking up and wondering to himself, confused. "One day when you do catch him maybe you'll find out who he truly is", you sip on the hot fragrant tea. The two of you chat for a while before a guard interrupts it.
"Your highness! It's an emergency! The King himself has personally requested you on the battlefield to fight alongside him, it seems the enemies have gotten stronger", the voice is panicked, shaky, stumbling over his own words and trying his hardest to keep his composure but ultimately failing, miserably. Zhou Jian immediately gets up, grabbing the weapon he always carries by his side and rushing out with the guard, "I'm going to be back soon", he glances at you while he says this. Without anyone to chat with, you get up from your seat and head towards the library. Behind you, the servants bow as they take the cups and desserts away.
Even when night falls, neither the king nor Zhou Jian has returned. It's quite common for soldiers to camp out for a few days so you don't worry too much about it.
The hallways are oddly quiet. Probably since there are less guards and servants surrounding the place seeing as a few went to tend to the King and heir. More peace and quiet for you. The stars at night twinkle, the moon glowing so brightly, the sound of crickets. Not even the cold air bothers you. You yawn a bit, "time for bed", your legs carry you to the bed, not as comfortable as the one you had back at home but you can still sleep on it. You tuck yourself into bed and close your eyes, wondering what you'll have for brekafast tomorrow.
At the stroke of midnight, the sounds of blood gushing doesn't even wake you up. No scream can be heard due to the intruder's silencing them. "PROTECT THE SECOND PRI—", the loud voice cuts off, indicating the murder of the man. The imperial palace is a mess, filled with fresh blood and dead bodies. You sleep peacefully, blissfully unaware of the massacre happening just outside your room. Even the door creaking open doesn't wake you up from your deep slumber. A tall man hovers over you, a crown in his hand. He mumbles something but it's so quite that not even a soul can hear it. With a snap of his fingers, your hands and ankles are bound together respectively without you ever even noticing it.
"你真是个可爱的睡美人"
.ᐟ.ᐟ
Your eyes are half open, your vision all blurry due to just waking up. Your whole body aches but when you go to stretch, you find it to not be possible. You struggle and notice your hands and ankles bound by something that's glowing red. It hurts whenever you try to get rid of it. "Go on, the sight of you struggling amuses me", a voice says out loud from a corner of the room. The masked man gets up from his seat and as he walks closer to where you are bound, you notice that his mask is slightly damaged. Well, a part of it has broken off, revealing his blood colored eye.
He carries himself with such elegance that you'd think he's royalty at a first glance. He brings himself down to your level, his eye crinkle softly at the corner, the look on your face is just so adorable. "I never would have thought we'd meet again, 小王子", he grabs your chin, lifting it up so you two make eye contact. "I had an inkling you were apart of their little kingdom, I just didn't expect you to be so naive", he continues while looking at your frustrated face which he adores, "did you really think those pesky little servants could ever protect you?", you turn your head to the side, not wanting to even touch him. It is honestly a bit embarrassing for you as you've watched this whole series, know the plot and yet here you are, kidnapped by the villain himself of whom you finally remember the name of, Xu RenFeng, and not even getting the chance to put up a fight.
Xu RenFeng thinks for a moment, the silence deafening. "How about this, you and I become partners so to say", you're confused by what he's suggesting but he elaborates, "since you're hidden and have no purpose in that palace, you could be with me could you not?", he looks at you expectantly with a psychotic look in his eye. "I would kill you now but you're way too adorable to be killed just like that, I'm offering a role of a lifetime", while it does tempt you in a way, you're still not too sure about dying with him at the end. "No thank you", you don't even look at him as you say this, "I'll give you some more time to think", he stands tall and turns around, walking out the door to your prison.
To say it's a prison is exaggerating. At least it looks like an average bedroom. Not as luxurious as the one you had before but still comfortable. After a few seconds pass, you find your hands and ankles no longer bounded, giving you some freedom to explore the room you've been captured in.
Of course the surviving servants and royal guards had to inform their king and future king what had happened. From the massacre of many, many servants to the second prince going missing, presumably taken by their enemy. "We should've known it was a trap the moment he left", the King is referring to the man himself, Xu RenFeng. "Why would he want [Name]?", Zhou Jian questions, frustrated by how the situation has gone from manageable to a complete mess. His hands balled into fists, worrying for his brother's safety. They have to find you, and fast.
Meanwhile, you've been held in the room for about 5 hours. All you've been up to is trying to think of a plan to maybe just maybe, trick him long enough for the psychotic guy to let you go. From what you've seen in the show itself, he is a very calm and calculating individual, making it hard for anyone to get past him. "Gosh, it seems that the only way to get out is by relying on brute force!", compated to modern times, the door isn't made out of very strong material, maybe you can knock it down or something. When you body slam the door, it doesn't move an inch. "Well that goes my plan", you just sit against the door you had just tried to body slam in defeat.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
As days passed, you try a different method of breaking out each day but they all fail in getting you out the the prison-like room. The only time the door would open was when Xu RenFeng himself would bring you food and place it on the table in the room. Even then, when the door opened, you would be bound once more. At least the food was always good. Each time he brought food to you, he'd try to persuade you into joining him. Something about you really did pull him in. You had power over him whether you knew or not.
One day, when there's a knock on the door, you get an idea. Xu RenFeng enters the room in silence, holding a plate in one hand. He puts the food down and as he's about to open his mouth, "can you eat with me?", you ask, surprising him. Today he's wearing a different style of mask. It doesn't cover his lower face, only the eyes. You wonder why he covers his face and remain mysterious. Even towards the end of his life, he never once took off his mask. The reason was never revealed. Though, it did add to his charm which is why a lot of people fell for the guy. He hesitates but gives a slight nod, closing the door with a wave of his hand.
He takes the seat across from you, not having anything on his side of the table. "Oh, I thought you'd grab your own food?", you ask while munching down on the prepared food. "No, I'd rather enjoy the view while I can", his lips turn into a smirk. Unsettling but not the weirdest thing he's said while with you. You get a bit nervous, wanting to pull off the plan but what if he notices beforehand? 'Agh, no more overthinking it, it's now or never [Name]!', you think to yourself and reach over the table, violently tearing the mask off his face, taking him by complete surprise. With great strength and agility, he grabs ahold of your wrist which has his mask. You stare at his face. He wasn't an average looking man. No scars or bruises. Instead, he's the most gorgeous man you've ever laid your eyes on. You're left speechless and so is he for a few seconds.
The look of shock in his eyes is replaced with that of anger. Without uttering a single word and with your wrist still held in his hand, he walks over to your side of the table, glaring at you before pulling you to the bed and throwing you on it. Fortunately you aren't hurt, only frightened. You're pinned to the bedframe by the intimidating villain. Your back is against the frame and you have nowhere to run. "I've been painstakingly patient with you and yet here you are taking off my mask. Was it not obvious to you I didn't want it off, EVER?", to say he's angry is an understatement, his eyes are even more psychotic. All you can do is freeze up due to fear, knowing neither fight nor flight are options in this very moment. You can't muster up an apology, both due to fear and also the feeling of superiority, to you, this man is just a character, he'll be no longer once you find a way back to your home! Without an answer, he takes it as you not wanting to apologize. "Do you really think just because you're a prince that I can't hurt you?", he chuckles at your pathetic expression. With another snap of his fingers, you're bound once more.
As much as you'd like to deny it, the way he's aggressively holding you is really turning you on. Xu RenFeng grabs at your clothes and rips them, leaving your body vulnerable to the man. "What a sight", he looks at you up and down. You try to cover your face with your hands because of embarrassment but he pushes your hands away. "Oh my prince, don't hide your adorable expressions", he purrs.
When you blink, his hanfu has already been diacarded on the floor not far from the bed. "Won't you help a stressed man out?", with his clothes being gone, you can see his hard cock. You stare at it for a little too long, long enough for Xu RenFeng to notice. "Hm? Lost for words are we?", he seems proud of that. "I..It's..—", you bite your lip to contain the moan you were about to let out as the man lifts your legs up to his shoulder and stretches you out with two fingers. "There's a much easier way for this but I'd rather do the old fashioned way to see how you writhe in pleasure just from my fingers. You close your eyes shut, clenched fists as his fingers move around inside, "I'll stretch you so well that this big cock slips right in", just that alone makes you tighten up, earning a satisfied hum from the other. Before long, he decides it's time to add another finger, stretching you out even more. "Ah..ngh...", your moans aren't really heard, the noises you let out are more comparable to humming. Xu RenFeng doesn't like that one bit.
His take his wet fingers out of your tight hole, leaving you feeling empty and opening your eyes as to why he did that. Relying on his strength, he pulls you onto his lap, your hole hovering over his cock, almost touching the tip. "Hu–aggh", you barely have time to react before he plunges you down all the way. You let out the loudest moan that Xu RenFeng's servants are able to hear from outside the magic-sealed room. "What an amazing voice you have, 小王子", he looks up at the person who is unable to speak due to the pain and pleasure he has brought them. His cock remains inside your hole without moving an inch, "a-are you trying to tease me...move", you try to stimulate yourself by bouncing on his cock to the best of your abilities but you can't seem to do that due to him having a tight grip on your waist. "You're so fragile, I'll have an easier time breaking you", he lifts you up until the only thing left inside is his tip and immediately slams you back down on his large cock, repeating this over and over again. "Fuck..", he groans while you're almost screaming-moaning. You never imagined this would be how your first time would go. Xu RenFeng pounds your ass so rough and fast that your ass is turning red.
You feel his precum inside you as he hits your prostate over and over, showing no mercy. "Your hole was made for my cock, wasn't it?", you can't even come uo with a response in that cock filled head of yous, "I'll make sure you remember the shape of my cock by fucking you everyday", he lets out a deep laugh, watching you bounce up and down his cock. Just when you think you can't take anymore, he goes deeper until you can't think of anything anymore. You cum while moaning loudly, still being bounced up and down. The stimulation is driving you crazy, everything feels like a fever dream. Not long after you came and without warning, he cums inside while still pounding you, not stopping for a second. He's cumming as he's thrusting inside, giving a new sensation you never thought you'd feel. "I see you're enjoying this more than I am, how adorable that expression of yours", he points out, "aren't I glad I picked you up along the way", if he could, he would have given himself a pat on the back that moment. You try to push him off, wanting to go at your own pace or to possibly just take a breather, "ah-ah, we're not done", he keeps thrusting deep inside, "don't worry, I'll return you in one piece to your family soon~"
He didn't stop until he had pumped at least a few cups worth of cum inside of you. You passed out due to how rough he was being. Xu RenFeng made sure to tuck you into bed. When he came out the room with his mask back on, he appeared to be very refreshed, some servants even whispered to the others that he was practically glowing. All because of a certain young prince named [Name].
You may not know it yet but you're now stuck with a psycho of a man.
Translation notes!
你真的觉得这样就结束了吗?
Do you really thinks this is over?
老版
Boss (in this context, used to address shopkeepers/vendors you want to buy from)
我们终将相遇,灵魂伴侣。
We will meet eventually, soulmate.
弟弟
Little brother/younger brother
哥哥
Big brother/elder brother
你真是个可爱的睡美人
You really are a cute sleeping beauty
小王子
Little prince (endearing)
I have so many ideas for this man but couldn't fit all of them in one fic🥹
There's this one kink I know you'll love but unfortunately didn't make the cut, maybe next time/drabble!
#male reader#bottom male reader#oc x reader#oc x male reader#x male reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x reader#isekai#isekai male reader#top male character#「 by the hands of xin 」#xin's xu renfeng ☆
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all of my heart ~ carlos sainz (cs55)
my masterlist | my f1 masterlist
pairing: carlos sainz jr. x fem!reader
summary: a short story of carlos becoming a father
words: 2K
warnings: one tiny swear word in spanish ig, otherwise nothing, just fluff fluff fluff and dad!carlos which deserves its own warning tbh
a/n: i know you love the dad!driver trope, @vetteltea, which is why i dedicate this blurb to you (though i think you'd maybe prefer this to be with seb now that i think about it), as a thank you for all the amazing fanfic you provide this fandom with. i love you so much, you're so talented, so inspiring, and i truly wish to be like you. <33
please, don't be a ghost reader, leave a comment or rb!
Carlos is still a little out of breath when he hears it for the first time.
A delayed red-eye flight and an excruciating traffic jam caused him to almost miss this appointment. The first he finally has the chance to attend – having had a race when the initial one happened –, and he almost missed it.
As a drop of sweat rolls down the side of his face, obvious sign of how only seconds ago he was still running up the stairs of the hospital, a smile forms on his lips. Looking at her, lying down, the screen beside the bed showing a picture of their baby.
Well, at least they say it's that. For the love of God, Carlos can't see anything on it. He still nods along with a wide smile when the nurse asks him if he sees it. The focus shouldn't be on him and whether he can see it or not, but on his girlfriend.
God, this woman. He hasn't seen her in over a month now. And this is how they meet again: when they meet the little one officially as well, though on a screen only. Hell, the last time he saw her, they had no clue of this wonderful piece of news. From watching her wave with a smile through the glass at the airport, before he turned a corner towards his flight and disappeared, fast forward to now, when he catches sight of her lying form, just as gorgeous as ever, if not more, with a baby growing inside her. A creation by him and her.
They're gonna have a child, Carlos thinks, and as if it's the first time he realises this, his heart stops for a second. In happiness, in awe, in fear.
Because as the image on the screen gets displayed, and Carlos gets lost in-between words like embryo and transvaginal scan, suddenly the doctor announces that the baby indeed has a heartbeat, listen, you can hear it. And this one sentence, followed by the almost inaudible little thuds, is enough to make everything feel real.
Of course, he already knew what the positive pregnancy test meant, the one she showed him first on a FaceTime call, then sent as a separate picture later. But this, hearing that tiny heartbeat, it made everything even more real. They had actual proof now of what is going to happen in the near future. It might not have been planned, but it doesn't make it any less sweeter.
With his heart beating away in a rapid rhythm, he feels his facial muscles pull as his lips curve into a smile, so wide that it even showcases his pearly white teeth.
When he sees her the next time, the first thing Carlos does is place his palm against her tummy. The bump is already visible – well not in the hoodie she's currently wearing, but it's there underneath, he knows –, and he's been dreaming about holding it for many, many days now.
She lets out a giggle, throwing her head back a little, having expected a kiss upon her arrival, not this. Carlos practically doesn't pay her any attention, his sole focus is on talking with his baby.
Later on in the car she inquires jokingly the reason behind why she's not the first to be greeted by him, and he explains with a serious tone why that's the priority. "You get all this time to speak to her and bond with her, and she's already inside you which is a bonus, but she has to know exactly who her father is."
"She, huh?" she raises a teasing eyebrow, and he simply smiles, shrugging in a nonchalant way.
"I can feel it in my bones."
He looks so self-assured that she can't help but lean in and press her lips against his cheek. She still can't believe she'll get to have a kid with this man.
Doubt starts rising in his mind when they reach the third trimester. The date underlined in bright red in his calendar creeping closer and closer, making him more self-conscious and unsure than he's ever felt.
What if he won't be a good father? What if his job gets in the way of his child really feeling close to him? What is he supposed to do anyway? He already has no idea what he's doing in this whole pregnancy, safe to say, how is it going to be when he finally gets to hold the baby as well?
He's read multiple long articles, spending every flight he's had to take nose deep in his phone, until his eyes hurt and words started to lose their meaning. He wants to be the best father he can be.
This even includes several calls to his parents, asking for advice from them as well, trusting and valuing their words far more than the ones he can find online. He knows that his parents proved already that their methods work, they've been good parents to him and his siblings.
Still, the only thing that seems to reassure him is that they – the baby and him – have her. His superwoman of a girlfriend, who simply seems like she was actually born to do this, to be a mother, taking every obstacle in their way with a cheerful step and a smile reaching from ear to ear on her face.
How did he deserve her?
As he's gritting his teeth to stop himself from letting out a groan while the pain he's feeling in his hand spreads – mierda, this woman is strong – he repeats one sentence as a mantra. Only to keep him from worrying his heart out for the love of his life, who's currently letting out loud gasps and occasional curses, her eyes teary and her cheeks red from the strain of pushing and pushing and pushing.
I hope the baby looks like her.
Why is this so important to him? He has no idea. He doesn't even know why the thought popped into his mind in the first place. He just knows he has to keep on repeating it to divert his mind, otherwise he'll lose his sanity.
Simply, he has to focus on picturing a baby with her eyes, her hair colour, the elegant line of her nose, the curve of her lips, her rosy cheeks. Every inch of their baby looking like a mini-her. Because what would be better than looking at his girlfriend and marvel at her beauty? Of course, looking at her and his daughter, and seeing the exact same beauty? Sure, it would be nice to have a tiny detail of him in their baby girl somewhere, just so that it would be obvious to the whole wide world that this is his baby, that the woman giving birth to her now is his woman. Maybe the exact copy of his eye colour? Or his locks of hair, silky and thick? It doesn't matter. Honestly, who cares about how she looks, he will love her no matter what. With his whole heart, with more love, a deeper connection than he's ever felt before.
Minutes pass, then some more, until it feels like an eternity has gone by since they arrived to the hospital. But then he hears it – crying. The unmistakable baby sound, entering the haze of his mind like a sharp knife, bringing him back to reality in a millisecond.
Everything seems to quicken up, and the next thing he knows is that the bundle of his child is placed in his arms, and after that initial wave of slightly terrified chills running through his body, immediately a mixture of relief, joy and tranquility spreads in his veins. He has no idea why he was so scared this whole time. This is... subconscious. Instinctive. Meant to be.
In that very moment he wordlessly promises the baby to always be there for her, always looking out for her, always caring and loving her with all of his heart. He won't let any harm ever reach her.
"Congratulations, Mr. Sainz, on the birth of your son," the doctor approaches him, and that last word bursts the bubble Carlos has been surrounded with.
Son?
His eyes widen, lips fall slightly open in shock – right until he hears the exhausted sounding but unmistakable giggle coming from the bed. "I told you," she grins.
"A boy," he mumbles dreamily, glancing at his girlfriend, lips curving into a smile matching hers.
"Good thing I came prepared with boy names as well," she continues, slight pants leaving her lungs still.
The memory when she practically wanted to force him into choosing a male name as well, just in case – because he was so sure about their baby being a girl that he didn't even want to spend a moment thinking about names for the other sex –, pops into his mind, and he shakes his head. He was wrong.
Tiny feet patter on the floor, growing louder and louder, before a second later they suddenly cease and get replaced by a high-pitched giggle.
She glances up just as Carlos appears in the doorway to the kitchen, their son hanging from his arms, his little cheeks red from all the laughter. Her heart swells at the sight and sounds, her eyes shine bright, connecting with his easily – the love of her life.
Miracle. That's what the little boy is in their lives.
Watching Carlos be a father has been the best thing she's ever had the chance to witness. The way he plays with him, practically going back to being a child, his sole focus being on entertaining his son.
The Sainz household they established not too long ago is filled with laughter every day, the walls reverberating with the joyous sounds until they fill their hearts.
"When's dinner ready, mi amor?" Carlos leans in, pressing a loving kiss on her temple.
She cheerfully smiles, her fingers moving to caress the impossibly soft, dark brown hair on the little boy's head. "A few minutes," she replies, catching her fiancé's eyes once more. "If you two help me set the table, we can eat sooner."
Her son nods eagerly, as much as his three-year-old energy allows, and waves his tiny arms to wordlessly tell his father to put him down on the ground. Carlos obeys, then opens the cupboard to find the appropriate plates – all plastic, reserved for the times when it's only the three of them eating, to allow the young one to help them without the worry of him breaking anything.
She watches from the corner of her eyes as her two boys move towards the dining table, where Carlos lifts their son to stand on a chair, this way allowing him to reach the tabletop. His hands never leave the boy's waist, just in case, and when he's finished setting the plates, helps him back on the ground.
"Good job, chiquito," Carlos holds his palm out at the proper height.
"Gracias, papá," the little one slaps into his father's hand eagerly, making his mother smile so wide it's close to actually hurt the muscles in her cheeks.
They walk back to the kitchen counter with proud looks on their faces, and she places the bowl of salad in Carlos' hands. "It's too heavy for you, pumpkin," she explains when her son opens his mouth to complain.
"Te adoro," Carlos steals a melting kiss from her lips as his fingers get a hold of the bowl, before leaning back and fully taking it from her. I adore you.
With her heart fluttering with nothing but pure happiness and blood rushing to her face, she enjoys the way that bashful smile forms on her lips that only he can achieve. Her gaze follows his movements, the way the T-shirt clings to his arms, to his back muscles, and how the soft material ripples with every move he makes. He is breathtaking. He truly is, because unawares, she lets out a soft gasp watching him and has to endure the knowing glance and that smirk he casts her way above his shoulder. He knows her too well.
She shakes her head, attention going back to her son still standing by her feet, patiently waiting for his next task. A perfect mini-him, way more than she could've ever asked for.
A perfect child, a perfect man to call the love of her life, a perfect life. And it's all hers.
a/n: i'm back baby!! i've been gone for the longest time ever (since last summer) but i'm in my final year of uni and i had to write my thesis too so hopefully that's a good enough excuse. writer's block ain't fun still. it really just feels nice to post something again.
my masterlist | my f1 masterlist
#carlos sainz#cs55 fic#blurb#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz fic#carlos sainz x you#carlos sainz fanfic#carlos sainz x y/n#carlos sainz jr#carlos sainz imagine#carlos sainz fluff#carlos sainz jr x reader#carlos sainz jr x you#sainz x reader#carlos sainz f1#cs55#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 fiction#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x you#f1 x reader#formula one#formula one fanfic#formula one fic#formula one x reader#formula one x you#formula 1#formula 1 x reader
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let’s ruin the friendship
— part one
pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley x fem!reader
summary: 118 throws a party for their station. You started working there 3 months ago and already feel like a part of the family. Buck caught feelings for you, but still need to confess them. How will the weekend end?
word count: 1,5k
author’s note: i’m actually obsessed with this fic🧘🏻♀️ hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it
p.s. i see all your requests, i’m in the process of writing them🫧
Malibu. You're sitting by the ocean and looking at the sky. You take a deep breath and feel your lungs fill with sea air, this real sea smell. The wind blows your hair, the warm sand tickles your toes and your head is free of thoughts.
118 decided to make a party for your station and you rented a house in Malibu on the Pacific Ocean. Three days of rest and fun with friends, what could be better?
And you needed it. You've been working at 118 for three months now and it's really a dream job. But because you're still new to this: it's hard, demanding and emotional at times. So getting out of this for a couple of days sounded very tempting.
The whole 118 team received you very warmly. Bobby is the best captain you could ask for. He literally became your second dad, mentor and wise friend. He taught you to take any difficulty as a valuable lesson that will lead you to a better version of yourself. Hen, Chimney and Eddie have become a resource of light. You never thought that colleagues at work could become family, but they showed you this. They are always happy to see you in their homes, put a smile on your face every shift and support you when something gets too much.
And Buck. You chuckled and admitted that you fell for him. You're not usually the type to get attached to people quickly. Honestly, you don't even know if you ever really loved. And it was Evan who made you feel things you'd never felt before. Butterflies in your stomach, counting the minutes before your shift starts to see him, “accidental” touches, stolen glances and a blush on your cheeks when he compliments you.
You looked up at the sky once more, where the stars were shining. Your dress was covered in sand, but you didn't care, because it was those moments that gave you a sense of carelessness. You were the very first to arrive at the house that you all rented and realized that this was a great opportunity to be alone with yourself. It was just you and the ocean.
“You're early as always.” — of course it was Buck. You chuckled to yourself and weren't even surprised that it was him. It's like he always appears when you think about him.
“Yeah, I didn't really calculate the time right and got here without traffic jams.”
You felt Buck sit down next to you on the sand and you both looked out into the boundless ocean.
“Aren't you afraid to get your pants dirty?”
“I wouldn't have become a firefighter if I was afraid of that. Plus, I'm willing to get my pants dirty if it means sitting in peace and quiet next to you.”
The next day went better than you imagined. You were all swimming, barbecuing, making cocktails, chatting and laughing a lot. Adults, but behaved like children, and this is exactly what everyone needed — to forget about adult responsibilities for a while and give themselves up to impulsive desires.
The day was nearing sunset and you split up. Men were playing volleyball, women were sitting by the pool with glasses of wine.
“If such a weekend becomes a tradition at your station, then I will have to change my place of work.” — Karen said and sipped her wine.
“Oh honey, we don’t have to. We are the wives of firefighters, we will always have the privilege for such parties.” — Athena said, doing a little dance.
Everyone laughed and agreed with this statement. You adored the women around you: strong, beautiful, and knowing how to have fun, even working such hard jobs.
“So (Y/N), any plans on making this official?” — Hen raised her eyebrows, pointing at you.
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh come on girl, we all see how you and Buck literally devour each other with eyes.”
“We’re just friends.”
You close your eyes, pull on your sunglasses and lie down on a beach chair. You do everything so that no one sees how your cheeks started to turn red.
“Yeah, I'm sure that friends dance in each other's arms, go to places for couples in the evenings and make local jokes that no one else understands.” — Maddie came back to the pool and put another cocktail in front of you. “It’s from Buck by the way, he said he made it just how you like it.” — she highlighted the last words and looked at you meaningfully before laughing.
“Okay you all, I don't recall using the services of a matchmaker, so I’m going to swim.” — you said, standing from your beach chair. “Anyone wants to go with me?”
“Hell yeah.”
You hear Buck's voice behind you and turn to him.
“Where did you come from?”
“I was on my way to grab some water, but swimming sounds more tempting.”
You took a towel and you went for a swim together.
“Okay, guys, I'm taking bets on whether they kiss now or not.” — Hen had a feeling that after this swim there will be one more couple on their station.
You and Evan came to the ocean and stopped at the shore. You have a feeling of deja vu, because exactly 24 hours ago you were sitting in the same place. The sun was almost below the horizon, it was getting darker and you liked it, there was always something magical about swimming at night.
“I would very much appreciate it if you stayed by my side, because rescuing you wasn’t on my bucket list today.”
“Then you’ll have to catch me, Buckley.”
You didn't wait a second and ran into the water. The warm water caressed your body, the sounds of the waves stupefied your head, the lowering sun left tempting reflections on your body.
You began to swim slowly and enjoy how the water relaxes your muscles and the taste of salt envelops your lips. In a second you were in strong hands.
“Got ya.” — Buck's warm breath was on your ear and reflexively you wrapped your legs around his torso.
“I don't think you gave me a chance to break away from you.”
“Maybe I didn’t want to.”
“How is it fair then?”
“It’s not, but it’s also unfair how you try to slide away from me every time.”
You looked into Evan's eyes and froze. You never tried to run away from him, you just didn't know if your feelings were mutual. And confessing your feelings is like going through fire for you, even though you do it almost every day. And it's still dangerous and scary.
His lips were two centimeters from yours and you fought with every part of your body not to succumb to temptation.
“I was just waiting for you to stop me from running away.”
“Let’s ruin the friendship.”
And he kissed you. A thousand fireworks exploded in your chest and your heart started pounding faster. You ran your hands through his hair, and he pulled you closer to him. You have to say that there was nothing innocent about that kiss. But it wasn't lust either. It was sensual, intimate, mixed with a long desire to be with each other.
You parted your lips and let his tongue enter inside, dancing with your tongue in unison. Buck put his hands on your hips and squeezed them, a soft moan escaped from your lips. Desire and need have awakened in the bottom of your stomach.
“I don’t think we need to give such a performance to our friends.” — even though you didn’t care right now, you knew it would be quite embarrassing after.
“You’re probably right, but I've been waiting for this since the first time I saw you.”
“You’re definitely a keeper.”
“I can’t keep denying every minute I think of you. I need to call you mine.”
“Claim me yours.”
And just like that, he kissed you again. This time gently and with all the love he had. You could both feel the invisible strings that intertwine your hearts and lives.
The feelings that flared up no longer frightened, but forced him to look into the future without doubt. Evan has been burned in a relationship so many times, but now he sees clearly — life without you is a thousand times more destructive.
You've been imagining events for so long that could lead to the beginning of your relationship, and none of them were the way you're experiencing now. You're with Buck in the ocean, your bodies are pressed against each other and you can't break the kiss because you can't get enough.
“Fuck, you’re all I ever dreamed of.” — Buck broke the kiss and said it into your lips.
You were walking back to the house and holding hands. What's the point of hiding that you're a couple now if everyone's been waiting for this?
You and Buck walked past the pool giggling and went into the house to change your clothes and most likely it won't end there.
“Okay, ladies, each of you now owns me 10 dollars.” — sipping from her glass, Hen knew she would win this bet.
Let me know if you want part 2 🫧
#911 abc#911 fanfic#911 fic#911 imagine#911 x reader#evan buckley#evan buckley x fem!reader#evan buck buckely#evan buckley x y/n#evan buckley x you#evan buckley x reader#evan buckley imagine#eddie diaz#eddie diaz imagine#eddie diaz x reader#eddie diaz x you#evan buckley fluff#911 x you
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This is the only kind of positive posts I accept to see about the Olympics.
Image description + translation: Tweet from the French Algerian user “Poenalis” the tweet says “So cool! Stuck in traffic jams near the Olympic village (normal eh), an official Olympic 2024 van in front of me, a guy gets off the van, comes to see me and gives me something, saying: “it's for you”, before closing the palm of my hand. He leaves, I open my hand, what do I see?” The Twitter user then posted a picture of his open hand with a Palestinian pin inside. The Olympics van in front of him was from the Palestinian delegation and the Palestinian man gave him a pin of the flag.
When you know that the Israeli terrorists and colonizers killed many Palestinians athletes who should be able to attend the Olympics but won’t be able to, it’s important to show support to these Palestinians athletes.
(For the Algerians reading this: You know how serious we are about football? Remember a couple years ago there was that game between the Palestinian team and the Algerian team and Algerians were cheering for the Palestinian team more than for our own team. The football pundit on Algerian TV was so happy when Palestine scored a goal he almost cried. That’s the kind of support we need to show because like it or not sports is incredibly political and as Algerians we are aware of it with the FLN team. I personally intend to boycott the Olympics but I will make an exception for Palestine.)
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Sin Darme Cuenta Yo (Sueño contigo)
Hi guys!
This gif of Ona god, it's my weakness *Insert crying emoji here*
This was a request in the comment section of the first part, that you can find here.
Enjoy!
TW : Mention of Smut
_____________________________________________________________
Being in love with Ona is easy. She’s the nicest, most honest, most endearing person you’ve ever met. Not to mention that she is arguably the most beautiful woman in the world.
Your relationship with her is rather strange, no doubt. You’ve known her since you were teen, and you don’t remember a day you haven’t been in love with her since. Her parents know you perfectly and treat you like their third child. You were each other’s first kiss, your first mutual and you’ve never known anyone but her. You know it’s the same thing. Yet you have never been in a relationship officially and you have never had the courage to ask Ona why.
You don’t know what’s changed tonight and while you’re going home, you’re digging your head for a long time without finding it. You hope this isn’t a bad joke, but you have enough faith in Ona to know she would never do something like this to you.
The journey between Liverpool and Manchester normally takes less than an hour, but that was not counting the traffic jams in both cities. When you finally get out of the Uber, you travelled by bus with the rest of the team and didn't have your car, you refrain from running to the front door. However, you run down the stairs, clearly not having the patience to wait for the elevator to lazily descend the floors.
You need to work twice to open the door as your hands shake. Which amuses Ona a lot from inside the apartment. The brunette awaits you nervously on your sofa, the one you took so long to choose at Ikea. You had a lot of fun that day, almost leaving Ikea at the closing. But this is one of the many pleasant memories you have with Ona.
"Hola" she says softly when you finally enter inside.
"Hola" you answer, putting your bag next to the door.
Ona doesn't move, still leaning against the sofa.
And this is probably the first time you’ve seen her look at you with a shy look. Usually, you’re the shy one.
"So… Girlfriend?"
"Yes… If you want to" says Ona with a smile.
You smile when you hear her tell you what she said earlier on the phone and take a few steps in her direction. Ona observes you doing it, always without sketching the slightest gesture.
"All I want right now is kissing you"
You cite yourself too, but it seems to amuse Ona more than anything else. You will probably never tire of her smile, nor of everything that characterizes her. It is not for nothing that after ten years you are here today.
"Please do"
You’re clearly not going to be begged, nor do you remember a single time when you refused her a kiss or a hug. Nor what sometimes followed in the bed of either.
Breaking the remaining distance between you, you gently sit on her lap, sliding both hands on her neck. Your eyes intersect a few seconds before you put your lips on hers. The sensations you get from kissing her are not new, but the meaning of this kiss adds magic to your embrace.
It's only a few hours later that you speak next time, or at least that you have a sustained conversation. You both are lying in Ona's the bed, and you lie on her too. Your face resting on her chest allows you to hear her heart beat and her fingers that slip mechanically along your spine will probably soon make you drowsy.
But the questions you were asking yourself when you came home came back to mind. A simple glance at Ona tells you that her eyes are open, fixed on the ceiling, and that she is lost in her thoughts.
"Oni" you gently call her, immediately drawing her gaze on you.
"Si Amor?"
"What are you thinking about?"
Seeing her hesitate to respond to you causes a strange and unpleasant sensation in your stomach. Your emotions must be visible since Ona hurries to reassure you. "No, nothing like that. I just wonder why I waited so long. It could have been too late." "Too late?" you ask with a frown. "Haven’t you noticed how your new teammate looks at you?" She sighs softly as she rolls her eyes. On your side you are content to look at her, the eyebrows always a little frowned. No, you didn’t notice, but the question she just asked you might explain why she’s having trouble with her. "Watching her with you during the game... that was the last straw. I figured if she was acting like that with you on a football field in front of thousands of people, it would be even worse when there’s hardly anyone else with you." "Ona..." "Let me finish" To support her words, she puts her index finger on your lips, making you bow an amused eyebrow. "I’ve always been jealous of her, but I couldn’t blame you for anything. It was the first time I realized I could lose you. Which is stupid. You could have left anytime."
To free you from her finger left on your lips, you bite it gently, making her laugh softly. "Of course not, I couldn’t leave, idiota. I’ve been in love with you since day one. No one could ever change that. I’ve been yours all along." A few seconds later, you find yourself lying under Ona, her lips on yours for a passionate kiss. You could have doubted the sincerity of her behavior with you, but this kind of moments between you have always confort you in your choices. And today is proof that you were right to wait for her. "I love you too. So much" will succeed in pronouncing Ona between two kisses. And what more could you ask for? The woman you’ve always loved loves you back and is ready to show it to the rest of the world.
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Had a dream where they revealed an official design for SynthV Kevin and it was just the guy from Traffic Jam
#vocaloid#synthv#synth v#kevin synthv#kevin ai#nilfruits#traffic jam#welter#niru kajitsu#my art#does this mean flurry (the woman) is solaria...#shitpost#vsynth#synthesizer v
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i explain india but i'm drunk.
Hello maggots of mine you're all such babygirls and bastards just like Aziraphale and Crowley. I'm so proud of you all for existing. Yes i'm a wholesome drunk you now know this about me. The wine tastes like rotten grapes and smells of battery acid and cost 245 rupees INR. Speaking of INR, thanks to a maggot's ask, I'm here to explain India. I've never set foot outside of this country. But I'm also very very shit at general knowledge.
To any non-Indians reading this, this is a totally legit 1000% everything covered all-inclusive summary. To any Indians reading this, I'm so so fucking sorry.
India, explained.
So there's south india and there's north india and there's north east india. north india is very racist about south india and they're both very racist about north east india. Most of these people are also probably racist either to other countries or they have internalised racism. It's a wild trip.
There are. A lot of languages here. And a LOT of scripts. I can read two scripts, understand four Indian languages and speak in two of them (badly), and those two are not my native tongues. I cannot speak in my native tongues. It's basically English at this point. These aren't dialects, those are separate. Picture like, Europe, but more, in terms of how many languages.
Everyone hates each other which is valid for the entire planet honestly.
In south india we have a lot of coconuts. Like a lot. There are so many coconuts you have no fucking idea guys you cannot escape the coconuts. I was nearly killed by a shower of coconuts when I was 5 I escaped by one second.
There are also cows. People will tell you that you are being racist when you say India has cows everywhere. But it's true. Two weeks ago I had the pleasure to be stuck in a traffic jam. Next to the street barrier thing (what divides a street im too drunk for this) I saw a huge bull fucking HUMPING a cow. The vehicles just had to move around them. They were having sex right there.
If you're a middle class Indian kid, your career options are: doctor, engineer, scientist, CA, lawyer, government official or family disappointment.
Needless to say, I was going to be doctor and am now instead family disappointment. I'm babygirling so hard it's insane. The prodigal son.
It's very ace-friendly and heterophobic in the sense that you are not supposed to be exhibiting any sexuality whatever in a respectable household. Just shut up and give virgin birth already. But be married. That's crucial.
Oh yeah gay marriage isn't legal trans people are constantly othered by society and/or given no respect whatsover and we're just all vibing here this is totally not why I'm finishing a small bottle of cheap wine on a thursday past midnight alone in my room.
Foreigners are like a zoo species you see them you're instantly concerned like what are they doing outside the TV screens and then either people are normal (rarely), they run up and take photos or try to slip into conversation (more often than you'd think, even I've been guilty of the conversation thing as a kid) OR they start talking about how 'this western culture is ruining our culture'. Which is fair but honestly both the 'cultures' these people are talking about usually involve incredible amounts of bigotry and are more similar than they think.
I think the lesson here is that humans just suck as a species. Except for you maggots. I love you all and I will defend you with my life.
THE CHAAT. THE CHAAT IS INSANELY AMAZING. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CHAAT. I HAVE NO SPICE TOLERANCE SO I HAVE TO BEG ON MY KNEES FOR THE SPICES TO BE REDUCED BUT STILL. THE CHAAT. THE CHAAT, YOU GUYS. YOU NEED IT.
Sorry yes I'm normal. ALSO THE STREET DOGS. THE INDIES. THEY'RE SO LOVELY AND SWEET AND CHAOTIC AND I KEEP TALKING TO THEM. Once when I was crying I made the dog distress while and like five dogs that I didn't know came running to me and comforted me and licked me.
INDIAN DANCE MUSIC. I FUCKING LOVE IT IT'S INSANE. My family were elitist as fuck so I never got to listen to Bollywood music as a kid but it's AMAZING I'm so glad it exists. Bhangra too.
Beaches very very pretty hills very very pretty honestly the nature is fucking beautiful if you can just quickly pretend humans don't exist, which again is true of this entire planet. Yeah. Okay I'm so fucking drunk.
Yeah lots of diversity which is very nice when the humans aren't screaming at each other about it but the rest of the time it's very nice
The garbage and sewer stories? yeah they're all true im sorry
Traffic rules more like traffic suggestions amirite
Well, we still have far better healthcare access than america. so. there is that.
If you speak English well you'll be mocked and isolated. If you speak English poorly you'll be mocked and isolated. Honestly, just be rich. That'll fix it all.
All the conservatives hate each other and don't realise they're the exact same but in like different flavours.
Oh yeah we have auto rickshaws. Look them up. They're so much better than cars I don't get motion sick as easily in them. But the drivers all hate you and never want to take you anywhere.
Eyyyyyyyyyy it's so fucking fun here *drinsk more alcohol* I am so fucking not looking forward to college.
Please someone crowdfund me out of here let's all go chill in Alpha Centauri I've heard it's nice this time of the year.
I will, however, miss the casual live cow pornos. A true highlight.
[I got this peer-reviewed by my friend in India's top law school, just in case, because I'm too drunk and generally dumb. They say I will not be killed. And they've been on Twitter so.]
Irrefutable legal proof y'all. I don't mean to offend anyone except bigots. Fuck you, bigots, if you're not offended then I've disappointed my community.
#good omens mascot#weirdly specific but ok#asmi#maggots#lgbtqia#india#indian fandom#desiblr#desi tumblr#being desi#india explained#trans rights#marriage equality#lmao marriage equality imagine that#transgender rights#transgender#lgbtqia rights#lgbtq rights#lgbtq community#queer community#asia#asian parents#indian parents#truly a species#man humans are wild#gay rights
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Joshua Hamilton, John O Bryan and Tim Hendrick already confirms the writers have speak about zutara in the room many times, and wans’t really settled. It seems was 50-50 Kataang and Zutara.
What you think?
For fucks sake, guys, there's an old storyboard of Azula and Haru, two characters that never even met and have nothing in common, getting married. The freaking Cabbage Guy is officiating the ceremony, Foaming Mouth Guy was a guest for some reason, and Ozai is just standing there looking grumpy like a dad that doesn't approve of his daughter's relationship, instead of losing his shit because she's marrying a foreigner that isn't even highborn.
Writers and animators aren't on "work-mode" 24/7, sometimes they just do silly shit that is purely to amuse themselves during their lunch break or when they got stuck in a traffic jam, or to joke around with their co-workers, not because they're hoping to actually make it part of canon, or an alternative to it.
Zutarians use that "argument" of "there were writers fighting for zutara!" all the fucking time, and the name of the writers that were supposedly "zutara champions" changes constantly. Why? Because said writers are constantly pointing out "This is not what happened, Kataang was always gonna be endgame" which makes people realize zutarians were lying. Aaron Ehasz literally had to point out that someone faked an interview with him to push that nonsense narrative. It's bullshit. It's ALWAYS bullshit.
Kataang was not the only ship the writers liked, but it was the one that was the heart of the show from the beginning, and even the writers that DO like zutara have already said they loved Kataang too.
There was no power-struggle, no fighting, no second-guessing, no "lets make this a thing instead!" Just a bunch of writers toying with ideas every now and then and having their own preferences, but also having a very clear vision to follow and that they never strayed from.
Stop looking for zutara behind the scenes because you can't find anything on the actual show, that shit would at most count as crack fanfic. It's literally does not matter. It was never meant to be taken seriously. It is not the win you think it is.
Here are the Azula storyboards if yall are curious: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheLastAirbender/comments/1chzchf/old_storyboards_shown_at_a_con_in_2007/
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Daylight
Characters: Baekhyun x Reader
Genre: Romance, Fluff, Angst, Mature Content (nothing too detailed), lyric-inspired: Daylight
Word Count: 26.7k (im really sorry... again)
Summary: Born, raised, and bred in the city. Life took a dramatic turn when the things you cope with became the reason for the conflict with your father.
With your bags packed and the cigarette you sneak inside your suitcase, you hope for the best where life will bring you when you hop on the train with no specific destination in mind.
Skyscrapers. Blinding artificial lights. Traffic jam. Fast-paced environment. Overpriced nourishment.
Cigarette. Alcohol. Parties. Two-faced people. Hookups.
Those were the things I was surrounded by as a person born and raised in a big city.
Harmful lifestyle, people are being controlled by money, everything must be documented on social media—or it never happened, people whom you call friends even though they’ve been stabbing your back since day one, relationship that should be called situationship in the first place. And last but definitely not least, parents who weren’t there physically.
When I found out that my supposed-to-be friends in university have been hanging out without me, despite the fact that I have asked them countless of times and they would decline my invitation, saying that they were busy, or something came up, or their mother had asked them an errand—all those bullshit, but in reality, they were together.
I should’ve just stayed at home, eat junk food on my bed while watching Netflix, instead of going out alone and finding out that they’ve been shitting on me since our freshmen year.
But no, I didn’t.
If it wasn’t for my problem with falling asleep, I wouldn’t have gone to a pub by myself, ordering a few drinks to get tipsy so I could get some rest. I sent a message to our group chat, trying my luck if someone was available. And obviously, they all turned me down.
“Yeah—I know! She looks so dumb when she smiles!”
I was in my second glass when I recognized Lisa’s voice, trying so hard to be husky and chic at the same time. No name was mentioned, yet my heart started thumping inside my chest, slowly turning my head to peek over my shoulder to glance where the voice came from.
And I was right. Lisa, Wendy, and Soyeon were there... and some guys. Probably their date—I don’t know. Then my eyes landed on a particular person who I’ve been seeing for a few weeks now: Eunwoo. Given that we weren’t official, I thought we were hitting it off. My brows drew together when I followed the hand resting on his lap, which was Lisa’s.
They all said they were busy, and it was too late for them to go out, yet here they are. Giggling, flirting, drinking, and talking shit when they thought I couldn’t hear them.
I didn’t understand myself when I decided to stay for a few more minutes to hear what’re their thoughts were about me. Each and every word they would spat added a needle poking in my chest.
“She should be ashamed, to be honest. Her older brother has had good reputation since high school to university, and she has the audacity to just exist—”
“Are you done?”
The look on their faces is fucking hilarious when I finally had enough and stormed to their table with the most blank expression I could ever done. I can’t be more thankful that the pub has dim lights and they can’t probably see how red my face is.
Who will pay for the afternoon snacks in university now that I know what they’ve been doing behind my back? How will they be able to get a ride to campus now that I’d probably never hang out with them anymore? And whose luxury item they’d be using to take a photo and upload it on Instagram?
From a couple of shots to get some sleep turns into almost half of a bottle, and finding myself making out with a man who wears oversized and overpriced clothing until sobering just a little bit because of disappointment when this man, who removed his clothes sloppily as soon as we got into a cheap motel we could find, finished in less than two minutes, leaving me hanging and frustrated.
I groan and ruffle my hair before turning my head to look at this pathetic human being who couldn’t even last up until I’m close at least. I put on my clothes and leave the motel, palming myself that the sky is starting to get brighter yet still looks dark. My parents will definitely go apeshit on me. Again.
Did I spend the whole night—an awful one—awake, drunk, betrayed, and sexually frustrated?
Yes. Yes, I did.
I started walking home, totally intoxicated, at six in the morning, makeup smudged and reeked of a combination of alcohol and puke; while healthy enthusiast people would go for a run before starting their day.
“Good morning to people who wake up on my bedtime,” I’d slurred loudly, clumsily waving a hand to them. Of course, I’d always received a look from head to toe, probably wondering about the condition of my organs at that point.
“Don’t you think you’re too much?”
I tried drowning my dad’s nagging by sticking my head further down the toilet bowl while I let out the immoderate booze I downed the whole night.
My dad is the typical businessman. We’re not super rich to the extent that we have a butler or a red carpet by the front door—I think, but we do have some helpers to get shit done here at home. He’s become strict now that I’m older, but he did spoil me as a child, like a toddler-child, not the elementary-child because all I got during that time was trauma.
I’m not saying he’s not a good father, but he’s really uptight, mainly to me, especially when I started getting into trouble as early as nine years old—I stabbed a classmate with a sharp pencil, but that’s another story to tell.
My mom is the typical housewife of a businessman. She’s into wine and aesthetics. You know, she likes spending loads of money on marble things, antiques, and charcuterie that she never eats. She’s the madam of the house. Although, she’s the gentle parent among the two of them, and has no bad blood with anyone from being so friendly that she signed up to, at least, nine charities.
She’s always present in those charities, volunteering—all that stuff, but never once was she present to my piano recital, school performances, parent-teacher conferences, the list goes on.
“Can you guys—” she hurriedly closes the door and curtains that could be a reason someone might see the chaos inside our house, “—stop it? It’s not even seven in the morning!”
I heard my father scoff, and even though I was staring blankly at the pearl-white toilet before me, I could imagine how he rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disapproval. Like he always does. “Yes, of course. What our neighbor thinks is more important than controlling your daughter. It’s your fault she’s become like this—”
“What do you mean my fault? You’re her parent, too. And why are you talking like that? We’ve all been in this stage of life—”
“I didn’t.”
Ah... how can I forget about my older brother, Kyungsoo, who exists in this world to make my life miserable as it already is. No, I’m just kidding—or not. We have the typical sibling-relationship. Our priority is to annoy each other, until one of us snitches to our parents.
Unlike me, who struggles to get a bachelor’s degree, Kyungsoo made it like a walk in a park that our dad thought’d be the same for me. He’s now aiming for a master’s, and he shows that he’ll continue until he gets a PhD.
I close my eyes, on the verge of crying, because I know where this will go now that Kyungsoo has decided that adding fuel to the fire is a good idea.
“See?” My dad’s voice was so loud that I felt the vibration on the walls. “Stop making excuses for the behavior of your daughter. It’s the choice she made—it’s the path she wants to go. Why am I still paying for her school? Her car, clothes—even uses my card to buy alcohol and cigarettes—don’t be surprised that I know! I always check your transaction history.”
He ended his sentence by pointing his index finger at my face as soon as I pushed myself up from the floor. I wanted to say something—things that have been going through my mind, but I’m tired... physically as I haven’t gotten a blink of sleep, and mentally... for so many things I couldn’t comprehend.
I know the three of them are waiting for me to rebut but what they didn’t expect was for me to nod my head in confirmation.
“Yeah... I smoke and I drink a lot, I even used your card for motels—”
I already saw it coming on how he would react, but not like this. Although, it’s not the first time he had to discipline me physically, nobody predicted that the side of my head would hit the wall from the impact of his hit. The scene is a bit dramatic with my mom’s gasping and Kyungsoo bulging his eyes out. I don’t think it’s that serious as I still feel okay, just a bit dizzy, though my lip got cut and is bleeding from the actual slap.
Deep down in my heart, I hope that my dad will apologize for his outburst, but I know I deserve it when he coldly said, “I’m done with you.”
My dad didn’t throw me out directly—or he did—but he clearly stated that he didn’t want to see my face under his roof. I tried to call my friends but remember, I have none now and haven’t been in touch with my high school friends for years. It’d be weird to call them asking for a place to stay for the rest of the summer break.
Obviously, he confiscated the credit card I typically use and the car I received as a gift when I finished high school.
I didn’t even get a chance to take a rest even for a short while, and immediately packed my belongings with a heavy heart. I know what I’ve done, and I kind of deserve this punishment he’s giving me, but could I at least have an apology? Because that slap hurt so bad.
Alright, maybe he thinks that I do not deserve anything for all the headaches I’ve given him. But can he at least ask me what’s going on? How’s school? Did someone hurt me? Am I okay? I can’t even remember the last time he asks me if I’ve eaten. That goes for my mom as well.
“Where will you go?”
Kyungsoo asks with a low voice while he watches me struggle to zip the suitcase close. I had to sit on top so my clothes would be compressed a little bit. I can only manage to carry a duffel bag and a large suitcase by myself; hence I must compromise.
“Here and there,” I curtly respond, not batting an eye to him. I grab a plain t-shirt and walk towards the ensuite bathroom to change. Although I still have alcohol in my system and I’m still quite dizzy, I can’t deny the fact that my clothes smell terrible.
“I can ask Junmyeon hyung if you can stay at his place,” he says right after I leave the bathroom. “He’s rarely home and I—”
I scoff, rolling my eyes as I sling the duffel bag on my shoulder and grab the handle of the suitcase. “Why do you even care?”
Kyungsoo looks taken aback by my reaction, perhaps thinking that I’d be kneeling before him in happiness that he’s offering his friend’s apartment for me to stay while our dad takes his time to cool off. “Of course I care, you’re my sis—”
“No shit, Kyungsoo,” I laugh incredulously, not letting him finish his sentence. “Just few weeks ago, you literally said to my face how embarrassed you are because I’m in the same family tree as you.”
I saw how his jaw went tight, seemingly out of words. And I could feel the lump in my throat; my eyesight got glossy as tears started to form in the brim of my eyes. I’ve never talked nor confronted them about the way they communicate with me. Whether how hurtful their words were, I would swallow my pride and isolate myself with despicable things I’ve done.
I walk past him with the initial thought of not looking back, but I have something that needs to get out of my chest. “And no, Kyungsoo, you do not care about me—no one in this house does. So don’t act like a big brother now, it’s too late to do that.”
Nowhere to go...
Those are the words I’ve been repeating as I stare at the train station from a distance. I still have some cash that I kept hidden in case of emergency, and now I want to pat myself on the shoulder for thinking ahead—even though, this is not a good thing.
I’m tired and starving.
And I’m hoping that my life won’t be dark and cruel as it already is that it would suddenly rain when summer just started.
I heave a deep breath, closing my eyes before I wheel my things with me. I cross the road as I walk towards the train station, with no specific destination in mind.
My eyes are wide open, looking at the big screen with the details of departure and arrival times from and to the places I’ve never heard of before. Until my eyes reached the last town on the list, it would take almost five hours. It rings a bell, but I’m unsure where and when I’ve heard of it or if it’s just a figment of my imagination.
I paid for a one-way ticket, bought myself a convenient store rice ball and a bottle of water, charged my phone to the outlet at the corner of the waiting area, and hoped for the best.
I’ve been out of the country, of course, but travelling to somewhere with little to no money, with no backups or whatsoever, is terrifying. I don’t know where it will get me, however, I’m already desperate and I, honestly, want to get out of here for a while.
I still have a year left in university, so there is a massive probability that I’ll be back before the semester starts. Even though I’m struggling to pass my course, I don’t have the desire to just drop out. Even if it means that I must start making money to support myself, I’ll do it.
You don’t know how to do anything. How will you survive?
I can hear my dad’s voice inside my head, reminding me how useless I’ve been to the family.
Nuisance.
I was labeled when I got into a massive fight with my brother in high school. I got into trouble when I hit him with my fist, but he was never once reprimanded for the way he talked to me since we were kids.
My surroundings rushed when the town's name printed on my ticket was finally called to board. People gather their belongings and fall in the queue, waiting for the sliding door to be opened.
So, this is it...
I can’t wrap my head around that twelve hours ago, I had a black credit card with me, drinking with no limit, and now, I only have at least a hundred bucks in my pocket and clothes from a quarter of my closet.
My suitcase was left on the baggage area at the end of the carriage, while my duffel bag was thrown on the overhead compartment. I plug my AirPods that thankfully got into my pocket earlier—or am I still drunk to remember that I brought it with me, while I watches the window beside my assigned seat displays buildings to transition slowly to trees and empty fields.
When I jolted awake from the vibration of the train halting to a complete stop, it reminded me, like an ice-cold bucket of water splashed on my face, harsh and cruel, that I was, in fact, not dreaming. Most passengers are greeted by their loved ones when they exit the station.
Unlike the one in the city, the station in this town is open air, facing the blue ocean with the sound of seagulls singing around. My heart feels like it's being tickled by a soft feather when the warm breeze of summer air hits my face.
I can’t describe the smell, but it’s nothing like the air I breathe back in the city. There’s a distinct smell of the ocean, though it’s not unpleasant, but more on cozy sentiment. The sun shines bright and there are trees planted all over the place, contradicted with the cloudy and polluted city I grew up in.
“Young lady—miss!”
A faint voice interrupts my thoughts. I turn my head on the side and look over my shoulder to see an elderly woman walking briskly towards me. Her hair is white, her skin is wrinkly, and the top of her head only reaches my jawline.
She gives me a kind smile, handing me a phone in her hand. “You dropped this.”
My eyes widened as my hands frantically searched for the device I thought was in my pocket. “Oh, shit—oh, my God, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to curse. I—”
“It’s alright,” she gives my hand a pat, chuckling and seemingly amuse by my reaction. “You’re not from here, aren’t you?”
I mumble an appreciation for the kind gesture before shaking my head to answer her question. “Uh, no. Not really.” I chuckle, a bit embarrassed that my appearance probably screams tourist.
She looks delighted with my answer, setting her bag on the ground before clasping her hands excitedly. “We haven’t had visitors in this small town for such a long time! What a pleasant surprise this is!”
“I mean,” I give her a smile before bashfully looking down at my feet, “trying something new, I guess.”
“That’s wonderful!” she exclaimed, getting her bag from the ground. “Do you have an itinerary? Or would you want me to help you?”
I hope my eyes didn’t glisten in relief when I look at her in disbelief. But then I remember how we were taught for ages to not talk to strangers, regardless of gender and age, to not trust anyone, to not take anything from them nor go with them to places.
The old lady must have read my expression that she laughs, the corner of her eyes crinkling as they shaped into a crescent. “The sun is up, and there’s a lot of people around. I’m not going to kidnap you, dear. I’m old as you can see and can’t move fast. You can ask me questions about the town, and I will answer them. That’s it. All of us here get excited when someone visits this small town. Forgive this old grandma, my dear.”
Warmth creeps up from my neck up to my face from embarrassment, concealing my scarlet red cheeks by looking around to act as if I’m looking for something. “I—uhm...” I rub the back of my neck, trying to get my brain to work despite being sleep deprived and hangover. “To be honest, I really don’t have any idea where to start. But would you happen to know where I can find a place to stay? Like an affordable hotel or something?”
I internally cringe from the way I deliver the last few words. I sounded like a spoiled brat, and it’s not my intention. Maybe I should’ve asked where I can earn money instead... right?
“Oh, dear...” her shoulders slumped as she sighs, looking like in deep thoughts while she thinks thoroughly about my inquiry. “We don’t really have hotels around here, but some families offer a room in their home for a price.”
The horror-thriller movies I’ve watched before quickly flies out my mind, and I am that desperate to find a place to stay.
“Do you happen to know where I can find one? But I only have a limited budget, so...” I grimace, internally crying with my situation.
“Hmm... let me see,” she fished out a flip phone from her purse, dialing a number before pressing the device on her ear. I watch her every action like a lost sheep, making me realize how I took my lifestyle for granted.
“Youngmi! It’s me!” she exclaimed, my shoulders flinching from how loud her voice is. “We have a visitor—yes! I’m surprised myself. But she’s looking for a place to stay—for how long?”
She turns her focus to me, covering the phone's mic with her other hand. “For how long, dear?”
For how long? Why haven’t I thought about that? I don’t know how long I’d be staying here... will my family look for me? Or am I getting my hopes too high for nothing?
“Uh—two months, maybe?”
The old lady looks stunned for a few seconds before clearing her throat to inform the other person on the line. “Two months, Youngmi. Is it okay—or? Okay, okay.”
The phone call ended with a sigh and I’m not taking it as a good sign. “No?” My voice was small and quiet, feeling a little too hopeless with the thought that I’d probably sleep on the street tonight.
She shakes her head, looking at me with sad eyes as if reading my mind and pitying me. “Her daughter-in-law will give birth anytime soon; she can’t lend her spare room that long. I’m so sorry, dear.”
“Oh...” the corner of my lips curved downwards, feeling dejected, yet it was expected since nothing was planned with this little trip of mine. “That’s okay, though. Thank you so much for helping me—”
“I have a spare room if you’d like,” she proposes, cutting me off in the middle of my dilemma. “I live by myself. My husband left this planet almost two years ago, but I do have some animals to keep me company. If you don’t mind some creatures waking you up early in the morning.” She ended her sentence with a chuckle, and I couldn’t help myself but smile, it’s contagious.
“I—how much would that be?” I stutter, my heart thumping inside my chest for a couple of reasons. One, she could be a psycho despite her sweet appearance and would murder me in my sleep. Two, I only have a hundred bucks with me and have no other source of income. Maybe I can sell some of my things to pay for my stay?
The old lady shrugs her shoulders, laughing quietly before patting and gently squeezing my arm. “I’m fine with how much you’re willing to pay. I’m already old and don’t need much money.”
In a hurry, I unzip my duffel bag and hand her the crumpled bills in my hand, looking a bit guilty from how they are stored. I’m aware that what I’m doing is risky, but I can’t think of anything else other than a roof over my head. “This is everything I have right now, but I’ll find a way to pay you more—I swear.”
The old lady looks lost for a minute, her eyes shifting from the messy bill on her palm to my round, pleasing eyes. “It’s—it’s alright, dear. Calm down. But—” she nods her head to my things. “We don’t really have public transportation here, and I usually walk. Are you alright with walking?”
I don’t even go to the gym to do a heavy workout since I prefer Pilates and yoga, but beggars can’t be choosers, right? Hence, I nod my head with a tight smile, hoping to God that it doesn’t look forceful.
Or it did.
She has a fond smile on her face as she shakes her head, dialing another number on her flip phone. “Baekhyun-ah! I’m so sorry to call you suddenly—ah, of course, this grandma knows how to use her phone now. Are you busy right now—oh, that’s great! Is it alright if you pick us up from the train station? Of course, I’ll pay you.”
I am greatly astounded that this grandma seems to know everyone in this town, when I don’t even know our neighbor’s name even though we’ve been living beside them all my life. I’ve heard stories about how countryside residents have tight communities, unlike in the city, but witnessing it is another level.
We both waited in front of the station for almost ten minutes until a beaten, on the looks of it, pick-up truck pulled up.
A young man, looking around my age, jumps out of the truck. He has dark brown hair that seems really soft to touch, and a clear, sun kissed skin. He’s wearing a loose white T-shirt and a light blue jeans.
“I should charge you double for interrupting my little date, Gran.” He laughs, giving the old lady a quick hug. “How’s your trip to the dreadful city?”
The old lady who was addressed as Gran by this man, who I believe is Baekhyun from the phone call earlier, poked the side of his stomach, clicking her tongue. “It was fine, and we both know that you’re not on a date, Baekhyun. Everyone is out of your league.”
Baekhyun places his hands on his chest, faking a grunt as if he has been hit. “That hurts, Gran-gran.”
“Enough with the chitchat! Come, help us with these bags.” she pushed Baekhyun playfully to where my things are placed, and I think that’s the only time he notices that I was here the whole time.
Now that he’s up-close, I’m able to see the moles on his face that look like a constellation, how droopy his eyes are, and how can I miss his triangular-shaped lips of his. It’s so pink, and glossy—what the hell am I thinking?
“Oh, hi there,” he greet. Hisis facial expression immediateldroppedps, except for his ey, which quickly scanned my suitcase, shoes, andmy head. The tone of his voicbecamees hostile, far from his enthusiasm earlier. “From the city?”
Five words. It only took him five words for me to realize that he’s not really fond of the city... or living creature from the city.
“Yes, I am,” I answer him politely, forcing a smile that doesn’t reach my eyes. “Is there something I should be concerned about?”
I saw how the corner of his eye twitches before he literally throws my suitcase on the back of his truck. My eyes widen and I swear I could hear my heart breaking. “What the fu—that’s a Rimowa’s special edition!”
I’m fuming and I bet his ass that my face’s probably scarlet red, at the same time, praying that there’s no dents on my suitcase.
“Baekhyun!” Gran scolded, slapping his arm, though she can use some force so Baekhyun and I can be even. “That’s not very nice.”
Baekhyun, who is visibly upset for no reason at all, opens and closes the driver’s seat with so much force that I can’t help but flinch on how loud the door slammed. “Well—for starters, I’m not trying to be nice, Gran.”
Gran looks at me with pity in her eyes, although I’m unable to comprehend what is happening, and what he saw in me that he made him this ill-mannered, when just few minutes ago, he was all friendly and making jokes with Gran.
I have no choice but to shrug my shoulders, silently telling her that it’s fine and I’m not bothered at all. I really am not, yet somehow, I am. Or maybe I’m still hangover?
When I open the passenger’s door, I’m instantly greeted by Baekhyun’s blazing eyes, trying so hard to look intimidating, but hey—that’s my life everyday back in the city.
I roll my eyes, holding the door open for Gran to sit beside him instead, and I’ll take the seat beside the door. I haven’t been inside a vehicle which allows three people in the front—but I’ve never been in a pick-up truck before, so hey, who’s complaining?
We drove for a few minutes in a very awkward silence, with me trying my best to look to my right and watch the trees and small houses on the side of the road until we reached the coastline, which, unfortunately, was on the left side.
I’m appreciating the nature and this town in peace, being really careful not to glance at the man behind the wheel even for a nanosecond, but he seems to have a huge ego and scoffs.
“Never seen an ocean before? Going to write blog about it so developers can get a piece of our land?”
“Baekhyun!” Gran warned, scowling so hard that I’m starting to question if coming with her is a good idea. Because I seriously can’t afford any incident.
I close my eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm myself and think of something relaxing and such, but the drop of alcohol in my system acts up, and something in me just snaps. “Okay, listen here, you motherfucker—”
Adrenaline rush. That is what to blame for my sudden outburst. I can’t even remember the things I said because it’s obvious that they were nonsense and full of swearing. I probably uttered made-up curse words by each alphabet to showcase my pride and to prove this Baekhyun that I’m not backing out from his ego.
I only stop when Gran shakes her head and places the side of her head on her palm, looking helpless since she’s sitting between Baekhyun and me.
Fortunately, when I’m done swearing that my mama wouldn’t be proud of—but hey, since when did she, the pull-up truck halts on the side of the road and I didn’t even confirm with Gran if this is her house before I hastily open the door.
I give Baekhyun one last look, and I’m not surprised that he’s already looking at me with much hatred and somewhat disgust. It takes a lot of me not to flip him off right there and then as Gran already looks so done with us.
My breathing is restraint, fists turning white from how I’m gripping my palm, when Baekhyun decided to piss me one last time before driving off right after getting paid by Gran.
“I won’t be surprised if you brought air purifier in that ugly looking suitcase of yours!”
“It’s fucking Rimowa!”
My glare didn’t leave his pickup truck once he drives off, chanting in my head to get him stung my bees on his dick. That is until I heard my metal suitcase being picked up from the ground I came back to my senses.
“Gran—I,” I shake my head, closing my eyes, totally embarrassed from the way I behaved earlier with the man I’ve met for fifteen minutes. “I’m sorry—I hope it’s okay for me to call you Gran.”
“Yes, my dear, don’t worry about it.” She smiles kindly, patting my arm to assure me. “I would like to apologize as well. Baekhyun can be quite... obnoxious.”
“Obnoxious is quite an understatement for him,” I tried to laugh it off, dusting the duffel bag freakin’ Baekhyun threw on the soil. I mean, he could at least throw it on the pavement since it’s fabric and—oh... I see what he did. That motherfu—
“He’s a nice kid, he really is. He just can get a little sensitive to people from the city.” Gran explains, gesturing with her hand to come inside her lawn.
“What’s the deal with him anyway?” I distractedly ask, observing her pace and silently praying that there’s no bunker or some weird stuff around. Still having the thought of a scenario in thriller movies.
I thought when she mentioned earlier that she has animals around, I’m thinking they’re just cats and dogs, and probably some rabbits. But what I didn’t expect to see is a barn with hens and roosters, pigs, goats—wait, is that a donkey?
I was asked to sit in the breakfast nook in the kitchen where windows are on each corner, making the natural light be the source of brightness of the house. A mug of warm tea is placed on the table in front of me and I look at it skeptically, just a precaution and Gran laughs, shaking her head in amusement.
“I didn’t put a potion or somethin’ on it,” she chuckles, “you want me to take a sip first, so you know it’s safe?”
My cheeks flush, and I shake my head, abashed that I got caught doubting her. “Just so you know, I’m broke, and I have no money with me. I drink a lot of alcohol and I smoke, so you won’t make good use of my organs. I’m basically useless.” Okay, the last part hurts a bit.
Gran laughs so loud, holding her stomach as she does. “You’re so clever, dear.”
I scrunch my nose, repeating the saying: May the odds be ever in your favor, as I raise the mug to my lips to take a sip of the tea Gran prepared. “You’re the first person to say that—oh, this is good! What’s in this?”
“Just chamomile tea with a teaspoon of honey.” Gran answers, her lips raising a little bit, though it almost interprets as sadness as she thinks of some long-lost memory. “Anyway, dear—” she changes the topic quickly that I wasn’t able to pry, “just bear with Baekhyun. I’ll talk to him to get him to apologize. There's no excuse for what he did, especially to a lady.”
“Well, maybe that’s why he doesn’t get any dates,” I shrug my shoulders, seemingly impressed with how my brain works to roast Baekhyun until this moment.
Gran laughs out loud once again, and I take a sip of the tea again, which is weirdly comforting and somehow nostalgic. “So, Gran, sorry for prying, but what’s up with that dude again and the piece of land he was talking about?”
Her jolly expression immediately drops, a wave of sorrow washes through her eyes, and her shoulders deflate before she heaves a deep sigh. “I—it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Baekhyun was just referring to typical businessmen who like to buy everything they find pretty for their own interest.”
My lips purse while I nod my head, understanding her sentiment since my father does the same. I can’t even count with my fingers how many enemies he has because of it. “Yeah, they’re the worst.”
“Okay, enough about this town,” Gran chuckles, waving a hand in the air to dismiss the topic. She takes the seat in front of me and intertwines her fingers before resting them on the table. “You appear to be hesitant, but I have a feeling you’re desperate. I’m not going to pry, but everything okay, dear?”
“Yes, Gran,” my mouth curves into a smile, the doubt in me slowly dissipating, however, I’m still not ready to share my story nor give a quick overview as to why I’m here. Maybe some other day, but not today. I’m beyond spent. “By the way, Gran. Why aren’t you asking for my name? Aren’t you scared that I might be a criminal or something?”
She snorts, giving me a dirty look. “You went ballistic when Baekhyun threw your things but didn’t raise a finger to him or me. I’m pretty sure I’m safe.”
I press my lips together as a flush creeps up my face, still embarrassed by my outburst earlier. “Okay, let’s not mention that ever again.”
I give Gran a kind smile, reaching my right hand to formally introduce myself. I tell her my name as we shake hands. She asks for some basic information, and I willingly answer. “I still have a year left in university, and I’m turning twenty-two in November. I live in the city my whole life and I don’t really have a good relationship with my family, so I can’t say much about them, but that’s another story to tell.”
We talk for over an hour before I’m unable to stop the humiliating yawn coming out of my mouth. Gran shakes her head with a fond smile on her face before asking me to follow her to the spare room she has.
The room is completely empty, except for a few dusty boxes on the corner that I probably won’t get near because I’m allergic to dust... I think.
With the use of teamwork, Gran and I also managed to unbox and inflate the air mattress she got from Secret Santa from last year’s Christmas. I have no idea how to follow a manual and Gran is too old for such things. We both laugh it off and call it a night.
I didn’t see Baekhyun again until my third day here.
I came out clean to Gran the next morning. I stayed in her house and told her about my shortcomings in money. I had to ask her for sources in the town since I still had to feed myself, although she reassured me multiple times that I shouldn’t worry about basic stuff.
She looked disappointed, nonetheless, and didn’t comment further on the situation as to why my dad kicked me out of the house.
Since locals don’t know me yet, Gran decided to let me help in her barn instead. Taking the light tasks for now; such as feeding the animals, collecting the eggs from the hens, cleaning their stuff, and the lists go on.
It’s a lot of adjustment since I do nothing at home, and have zero knowledge in basic home chores, what more working in a barn. But Gran is patient towards me, teaching and guiding, before letting me do the job for the rest of the day.
On the second day—and the third day since I stayed here, Gran let me do the delivery. Nothing much. I just have to deliver the eggs to the market, get the money, then I can come back to the barn.
I feel like a loser when Gran asked me if I know how to ride a bicycle since she doesn’t own a car, or vehicle, for me to use to deliver the eggs to the market.
When she pulls out her flip phone and dials a number, I already know that my day will be ruined.
“How come a human being can’t ride a simple bicycle?”
I shut my eyes close. The urge to slam my head on the windowsill is too much. I can’t keep track of how many timeshas had said those words.
For a second, I decided to protect my peace and let this be done with, butkepteeps going on, uttering the most sensitive topic in my life. “Didn’t your father or mother teach you?”
“How come a human being like you won’t stop talking?”
That seems to shut him up as he has his lips pursed when I peek at him at the corner of my eye. The veins on his hands become prominent from how tight he’s gripping the stirring wheel. Feeling like a little pride in me, I decide to continue—you know, just to piss him off since I don’t have my suitcase with me. “What? Did I strike a nerve?”
No response.
“You must love your truck so much that you both won’t stop making unnecessary noise—”
My hands are fast to hold on titot on my seatbelt when Baekhyun swerve on the right, extending his arm to open the passenger’s door. I’m still catching my breath and my heart is still pumping rapidly in my chest.
“Get out.”
“W-wait, are you serio—”
“Out!”
He didn’t scare me. He looks nothing scary. But he looked visibly upset that I started to rethink what I had said. I wanted to apologize, but at the same time, he doesn’t have the right to talk to me the way he’s done since we met.
Once again, I glare at his truck as he drives away with the eggs Gran asked me to deliver. It’s his problem now. I can just be honest with Gran and tell her how Baekhyun kicked me out of his truck in the middle of the road with the blazing sun in the sky.
I keep cursing Baekhyun on my way back to Gran’s house. I’m really bad with direction that I circled the same intersection for at least three times. I’m sweaty, flushed, dehydrated, sunburned because I freakin’ forgot to wear sunscreen—and I’m not even sure if I packed any because I was hella hangover that day.
“Thanks, Gran! See ya later!”
Speaking of the devil. My heart is full of hatred when I hear his voice, the owner of the voice who is reason for my suffering; the reason why my skin is burning and my head spinning.
Baekhyun looks surprised upon seeing me slowly walking towards the porch where he and Gran are, then his expression turns into amusement when he realizes I’m fuming with anger.
“You motherfu—”
I was cut off, or more like, my rage was cut off when Gran merrily called my name, clasping her hands together. “Dear, thank you so much for delivering the eggs. Though we were a bit late than scheduled, Baekhyun here told me that the market paid him well. And he lost you in the crowd? Is everything okay?”
The corner of his lips quirked up, while the corner of my eye twitched. Lost? He freakin’ left me, kicked me and let me walk kilometers away from this place. “L-lost...?”
“Yes, you got distracted, remember? I told you to stay close since the market can be quite crowded in the middle of the day.” Baekhyun lies through his teeth, and I’m amazed that he didn’t even stutter.
I’m about to expose what really happened but he’s quick to walk towards where I am, bumping his shoulder with mine, not before eyeing my burnt face. “You look like Peppa Pig,” he whispers to my ear, making sure Gran won’t hear.
I gasp loudly, having the strong urge to punch his face. However, before I can even react, he waves his hand to Gran who returns his smile, “I’ll get going now, Gran! Call me if you need anything!”
I look at Gran incredulously, but she just shrugs her shoulder before chuckling. “You two are adorable.”
“Ew—Gran, no!” I almost fainted right there and then.
It’s no news that I’m having trouble sleeping, much more in this unfamiliar town, not in my room nor my bed. Though I did manage to close my eyes to rest for a bit, it’s far from sleeping to recover my energy.
I’m already up before five in the morning and couldn’t be more surprised how chilly it is when the sun hasn’t risen yet.
My phone has been untouched since I got here, hence I have no access to the internet, and Gran flip phone is not really functional except for making calls and texts.
I tried to do some physics I learned in high school to balance myself on Gran’s old cruiser bicycle, so I won’t bother—or more like interact with Baekhyun the next time I have to deliver something again.
But again, I’m not the wisest kid in the block, never was, and I can’t tell you how many times my face came contact with the ground. I’m close to getting really injured and was about to give up when a familiar, unpleasant, roaring engine pulled up beside where I am.
“What do you want now?” I groan, praying to heavens to know what I did wrong to be punished this early in the morning.
Baekhyun chuckles in amusement. He’s wearing a plaid shirt under a white T-shirt. His hair is a mess, and obviously unwashed. “Oh, now you’re learning how to ride a bicycle.”
“Just—” I close my eyes for a few seconds, trying to calm myself so I won’t make a scene like I have been doing around him. It’s too early and most people are still asleep. “Be on your way, Baekhyun. It's too early to deal with you.”
“Hey, come on now,” I groan once again when he turns off the engine and gets out of this truck. “Gran texted me to give you a chance—mind you, that old lady doesn’t text anyone. So, don’t waste the chance I’m giving you now.”
He sounds so arrogant, and I’m aware that he’s doing it on purpose to get on my nerves. I press my lips together before forcing a smile, breathing through my nose as I raise my head a little to look at him in the eye. “Can you come closer?”
But he smiled mischievously, shaking his head. “I know what you’re gon’ do. You’ll bump your forehead on mine. I’ve seen that trick everywhere, so puh-lease.”
I nod my head and smile innocently. “No, no. I’m not going to do that, I’ll hurt myself more than I’ll hurt you. I just have something to say to you.”
“You can say it to me with distance.”
“Then I’d rather not say it.”
Baekhyun rolls his eyes, huffing, before leaning his ear closer to me. “You’re so stubborn. What the heck you want to tell me—ah!!!”
I normally don’t resort to violence, and I just mentioned earlier that I do not want to cause a scene, especially when the sun hasn’t risen yet.
I just had to do it.
As soon as his ear was a few centimeters away from my mouth, even though he was not yet done talking, I opened my mouth and sink my teeth on it. I meant to let him experience my wrath just a little bit, however, I don’t know what’s gotten into me that I bit him harder than I intended to. Or maybe I didn’t expect him to squeal like a girl.
Expectedly, Gran walks out of the front door with a lamp in her hand, still in her sleepwear and obviously just woken up from how loud Baekhyun was. Not only Gran, but the houses nearby light up to let us know they were awakened by the noise.
“I’m so disappointed to both of you.” Gran shakes her head as me and Baekhyun sit in her living room, the latter holding his ear as he pouts. “I don’t understand why the both of you can’t get along? Or just be civil with each other? If you don’t like each other, just don’t talk, don’t interact—and I don’t even want to know how Baekhyun ended up with a bleeding ear.”
I can only roll my eyes when Baekhyun points his finger at my face, plastering an innocent face. “Oh, sure. Blame it on the person from the city, because I’m the bad guy here, and you’re an innocent countryside jerk.”
He looks taken aback by what I said. He opens his mouth and closes it a few times like a fish out of water, but no words came out from his mouth.
“Okay, now...” Gran tries to calm us down, more specifically to me. “Dear, please... let’s keep everything in place and talk calmly. Can we do that, please, hmm?”
“I don’t know your beef with people from the city—” I ignore Gran and lock my eyes with Baekhyun who looks surprised as the old lady standing in front of us. “—but there are thousands of people living there, millions even, and I do not know each one of them. If you have a problem with them, then take it out on them, not on me! I don’t even know you and you’ve been nothing but disrespectful to me the minute we met. And now you’re going to blame me for—”
“Okay, dear, calm down...” Gran had to sit down between us and place her hand on my arm, “you made your point, and we understood it. Right, Baekhyun?”
The guy just stares at my face, not moving a single muscle, that, until Gran nudges his knee. “Y-yeah...”
“And what do you say, Baekhyun?” Gran presses on, urging an apology from him.
Baekhyun sighs, licking his bottom lip. “I—I’m sorry...”
“Thank you, Baekhyun,” Gran smiles before turning her attention back to me. “Dear?”
My eyes widen as I gape at her. “Why me—”
“It’s never okay to hurt someone, dear...”
I sigh in defeat, definitely agreeing with her sentiment. “Fine. I’m sorry for biting your ear.” But I don’t think I need to apologize for anything else than that.
It feels like déjà vu the next time I see Baekhyun. It’s almost five in the morning, and I’m teaching myself to ride a bicycle again when his truck pulls up.
“’Sup?”
I dramatically groan, placing my feet on the ground to balance myself as I watch him get out of his truck. “What now, Baekhyun? Do you want your other ear to get bitten this time—and why the hell are you out this early?”
Baekhyun scrunches up his face in judgement, or disgust—I can’t really distinguish. He places a hand on the handlebar just beside my own hand and wiggles it as if to test if it’s sturdy enough. “I think this need a little bit of fixing, and I can see from here how rusty the chain is, we might need to oil or, worst scenario, change it.”
He ends his sentence with a smile, which made me frown because he never smiles when my presence is around. My face contorted, unable to comprehend what was happening. Then I raise my brows at him to answer my question earlier, and I’m glad he gets the message.
“I help with the boats at midnight, and we just finished a while ago. This is like my part-time job. And no, I don’t want my other ear to get bitten, thank you very much.”
I look at him skeptically, “Okay... and what are you doing here? Talking to me like a normal person?”
He sighs, his chest puffing out as he does. “Well, we were off to a bad start, and I do realize how jerk I was to you. And I would like to apologize for the way I behaved. I also want you to know that I’m not kind of a person.”
“Gran wrote that script, yes?” I roll my eyes, though I can’t stop the corner of my lips from curving up.
Even with the lack of bright rays of the sun, and the only source of light is from the lamppost on the road, I see how he smiles as well. “That obvious, huh?”
“Very,” I chuckle, slapping his hand away from the handlebar. “The choice of words was much mature and totally far from who you are.”
“Hey! I rehearsed my lines all night. Be appreciative, can you?”
“Oh, I will, once you fixed the chain something—I’m not really sure what’s the function of,” I get off the bike and push it towards Baekhyun who drops his expression to a deadpan.
“Will I be getting paid?” he asks, taking a quick look at Gran’s old cruiser bicycle.
“Well, I don’t have extra money,” I sniff, looking away to hide my broke-ness, and play it cool. And I was quick to stop him when he was about to drop the bike when he learned I don’t have money to pay him. “I can show you my tits? Guys like chest, right? They’re not that big but they’re pretty decent—”
“What the fu—”
“Okay, okay! I’m just kidding, sheesh!” Or not.
“Just stop talking. Can you do that, please?” he emphasizes the last word as he started working on the bicycle and I nod my head like an obedient child.
Almost half an hour later and a greasy Baekhyun, I’m finally back on my bicycle, learning how to cruise without falling face first.
By six-thirty in the morning, Gran walks out of the front door, beyond surprise to see Baekhyun helping me attach a semi-large basket on the rear rack of the bicycle. “Lovely morning, kids! And Baekhyun, you need a bath.”
I look at the man in topic, eyeing him from head to toe and boy did he need a good ol’ scrubbing. “He does.”
Baekhyun looks me dead in the eye before raising his brows. “Seriously? After I explained what a chain does to a bicycle after I taught you how to balance yourself by pedaling because physics wasn’t working, and gravity was failing you?”
“Shut up! That’s supposed to be a secret and not to be said out loud.” I walk past him, purposely bumping my shoulder on him. “And you stink; you really do need a bath.”
“Okay—come on, come on. Don’t ruin the bond you just created,” Gran waves her hand for us to go inside. “Let’s have breakfast together. And Baekhyun, please, help yourself in the bathroom.”
And I received another glare when I snickered not so subtly.
Since that eventful morning, I’ve been civil with Baekhyun. We may bicker here and there, but no ear-biting incident has ever occurred henceforth.
I’ve also been delivering stuff to the market, or sometimes door to door, when Gran needs a helping hand. My bicycle journey is going well, though there were few minor troubles, but nothing serious that should be cause for concern.
At times, if he had time, he’d go with me to the market or around the town—or maybe, most probably rather, Gran forced him to.
And that became the reason as why I met Jisoo. The gorgeous lady that is way out of his league.
“Gran’s right, everyone is out of your league,” I mutter as soon as Jisoo is already out of sight.
We stopped by the bakery which Jisoo’s family runs and where she works. She’s nice and friendly, already asked me to come by next time I’m free so she can give me a proper tour around. And I didn’t fail to notice how Baekhyun ogles at her. He looked like he was about to whack my head when I used that term to explain how he was looking at the lady.
“Not everyone, because that means you’re included,” he simply answers. My eyes widen in shock, gaping at what he just said. Fortunately, he immediately clears things up, but not before rolling his eyes and scoffing. “I am the one who’s out of your league. I’m way better than you.”
Although I find it offensive, I sigh in relief and wipe an imaginary sweat on my forehead. “Phew, for a minute I thought you were flirting with me.”
“I’m offended.”
I think it’s been over two weeks now or so—I don’t know, I stopped counting the days.
I’m scared to turn on my phone. I’m scared that there will be no text messages nor calls from my family asking my whereabouts or showing their worry on my well-being.
I’m scared because I have a feeling inside me that I already know the answer to that.
Always have been.
The clock shows two in the morning, and I’m on Gran’s roof with the pack of cigarettes I didn’t forget to bring along. Putting a stick between my lips before inhaling deeply, holding my breath for a second, and exhaling the smoke out of my mouth.
This always made me calm; my nerves feel soothed, my mind would stop running for a minute, and the smell developed as a comfort to me.
Although I know the risks of smoking, it’s the only way that I know of to cope in life... my life.
“Holy crap, I thought something was burning up here.”
I almost jumped from the roof when a voice interrupted my deep thoughts. And my reflex is to throw away the butt of the cigarette after squashing down the tip.
I peek over my shoulder and see Baekhyun carefully scooting next to me, making sure that his movement won’t make a fuss and wake up the owner of the house.
“What the hell? Do you really appear everywhere I’d go?” I roll my eyes at him, taking another stick from the box and offering it to him, which he declines almost immediately.
“I didn’t know you smoke,” Baekhyun mumbles while he watches me flick the lighter to the tip of the cigarette. “That’s not really good for your health, or mine, since you’re exposing me to secondhand smoking.”
I chuckle at him quite lowly, looking up to the dark sky filled with stars, which I don’t often get to see back at home as the light pollution in the city is crazy. “Tell me something I don’t know, Baekhyun, then I might be interested to listen. And you’re the one who came up here, you’re free to go and save your lungs, mister.”
I expected another smart response from him per our usual banter, but when I heard nothing, I carefully remove my stare from the sky to look at him, and more than surprise to see him already looking at my face with expression I can’t define.
“W-what?” My voice tried so hard to sound my normal self, but it came out breathless.
He blinks as if he’s snaps out of his trance. “I—n-nothing... I’m just curious...”
I sniff, sitting up straight before smiling innocently at him. “Oh, I like where this is going. You’re curious about my life. Okay, Baekhyun, ask away. I’m so glad finally pique your interest.”
Baekhyun looks like he’s about to toss me out of the roof, so I instantly shut my mouth and smile even more. Then he clears his throat, exhaling heavily. “I’m just curious... I mean I know your name, but from Gran. I know we’re almost the same age, and you’re from the city. However, when I asked Gran about why you’re here, because you’re obviously not here to be a tourist, she won’t tell me.”
My eyes squint at him for a second, and then I proceed to raise a brow at him. “So, you want the tea?”
He tilts his head, seemingly confused. “What tea?”
“Never mind,” I purse my lips, breathing through my nose, trying so hard not to say something ridiculous.
He snorts, shaking his head. “I’m just kidding, I know what tea means. For your information, we’re quite civilized here.”
I exhale in relief, holding a hand on my chest. “Oh, that’s great to hear. I was about to say green tea or chamomile tea.”
Baekhyun laughed out loud, “You’re so lame!” and I had to place my palm on his mouth.
“Shh! You’ll wake Gran up!” When he nods his head, I disgustingly look at my palm, playfully wiping it on his shirt.
“So...” he trails off, poking my arm with his finger. “You deliver eggs to the market, but you use a very expensive sunscreen. You’re not here for a vacation, aren’t you?”
“Not beating around the bush, I see.” I tried to laugh it off, trying my luck that maybe he’d change the topic, but he raises his brows as he waits for my answer. “Well... it’s a long story.”
“I’m done working, so I have all night to listen.” he answers immediately, pushing my shoulder with his. “Come on.”
I exhale through my nose, lifting the cigarette up in the air. “You see this? My dad hates this, and alcohol. I do a lot of both, apparently. So, he threw me out of the house. He also confiscated my credit card and I only had around hundred bucks, so Gran took me in.”
It’s not like I’m not comfortable telling people what I’ve done to get my father ballistic, but I honestly don’t know how to put what really happened in words. I don’t know how to verbalize things, emotions, and such. So, I’m really out of place when Baekhyun waits for another word to come out of my mouth.
“End of story,” I grin at him, hoping that he won’t be able to read my mind.
He looks at my face for a few moments, not leaving my eyes as it feels like he’s staring into my soul, as dramatic as it may sound. “That’s a really long story,” he shakes his head, and the tone of his voice is sarcastic. He stood on his feet and dusted his pants, “You seem no fun. I’m going home now.”
I send him a glare before scrunching my nose at him. “I’m just confirming your assumption of me being a spoiled brat.”
“I never said you’re a spoiled brat,” he quickly denies, looking at me like I have two heads on my neck.
“But you’ve thought about it,” I tease him, wiggling my eyebrows at him.
“You can’t blame me for that though. You keep saying: it’s Rimowa, it’s Rimowa, that I had to search on the internet what the heck is a Rimowa. I honestly thought it was a freakin’ country!”
It was my turn to laugh out loud, and he had to put his palm on my mouth.
The next time I see Baek,hyun it is almost five in the morning. I couldn’t sleep; hence I let my curiosity get the best out of me and went to where the “boats” are.
It’s still dark, although the streetlamps illuminate the path on the way there. As I near the dock, my surroundings come from crickets to men shouting and laughing, I’m not sure anymore, but they’re thunderous.
“Excuse me,” I raise a hand to a middle-aged man who’s about to pass by. He looks confused as he waits for me to talk. “Is Baekhyun around?”
The man's frown fades away. Baekhyun’s name must’ve rang a bell. “Oh, Byun? I think he’s still on Youngtae’s boat.”
There are hundreds of things going through my mind at once, but the most significant of them are: Baekhyun last name is Byun, which I haven’t heard until now—and I do hope that he’s the only Baekhyun in this town, and the other one is, who the hell is Youngtae and how would I know where his boat is?
I know that people in this town know each other like they know the alphabet, but I’m not from here and I’m having quite a hard time adjusting when it comes to this kind of scenario.
I can only chuckle awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck before pointing my thumb behind my shoulder. “Yeah... I think I’ll go for now but tell him I said hi.”
The man, who looks really buff and has a tattoo sleeve on his left arm, slowly nods his head, perhaps unsure what is happening... as why a woman casually walked to the dock and asked for someone but would leave eventually. “Yeah... sure—you’re not from here, aren’t you?”
I have no idea as to why I did it, but I exaggeratedly sigh—I don’t know, probably in relief that someone recognizes my naïve-ness of this town, even though I’ve been here for almost a month now. “That obvious, huh?”
“Yeah—” he points his fingers on his ear, “locals don’t do that.”
I didn’t understand what he meant at first, but then I realized he was referring to my earrings, several of them. My mouth forms an O shape and I nod my head to his arm as well. “Locals don’t do that either.”
He laughs, extending his hand out for me to shake. “You got me there. I’m Hanjo, but just call me Han, people here call me that.”
I nod my head, giving him a smile before telling him my name. “So, you’re not from here as well?” I ask, genuinely curious if he’s from the city, too.
“So, Byun knocked you up?” he doesn’t even miss a beat and immediately changes the topic, though I did get shocked by his assumption.
“Excuse me?”
Han clears his throat, looking like he sobers from the way I change my tone of voice. “Sorry, that came out harsh. That Byun guy tends to play around when he’s out of town, and I thought you were here because of that.”
I’m still looking at him skeptically, and the corner of my mouth almost drew back a snarl. “Uh, no, we’re just friends—sorry, I can’t stop myself from saying this, but I do not appreciate how you’re addressing Baekhyun.”
“Oh, sassy—you from the city?” he tried to laugh it off, althoucouldI can see that he didn’t mean to be rude, probably just how guys talk, or I don’t know, guys their age.
I opened my mouth, about to say something smart, but I heard my name being called by a familiar voice. I look over Han’s shoulder, and it’s a bit of a challenge since he’s quite huge, and see Baekhyun’s surprised, at the same time, smiling face.
“Hey! What brings you here?” Baekhyun pats my arm, showcasing his perfectly aligned teeth, he then gives a nod to Han. “Hey, Han.”
“Byun, I thought you’ve dropped out years ago. How can you still score someone from the city?” Han asks Baekhyun, and I had to remind myself that they are both males, and that’s just how they communicate... I hope.
But what caught my attention is Baekhyun dropping out. From what? University? He attended university in the city?
“Come on, Han.” Baekhyun chuckles, though the tone of his voice goes one note down, making him sound so manly. “That’s not a nice way to talk to someone you don’t know.”
“Oh, but we know each other, right?” Han turns to me, calling my name as if we’ve been friends for decades. I can only make a face, turning to Baekhyun as a silent signal to get me out of here. Acouldn’tcan’t be more glad that he got the message instantly.
“Okay! We’ll get going now, Han. Don’t drink too much, okay? Gran wouldn’t be so happy that you’re causing trouble here.” Baekhyun holds my arm, bringing me along with him as he walks away, not waiting for Han to respond.
Baekhyun asks me to wait in his truck while he gets his things from the boat. He comes back not even five minutes later, not beating around the bush, when he removes the thin sweater he’s wearing and changes into a clean T-shirt.
“Okay. Thank you for giving me a show, really enjoyed it.” I tried to play it cool, hiding how my cheeks blush when I saw the curve of his abs. Damn, he’s been working out.
He laughs, throwing his sweater on my face and my nose crinkles at the smell. Sweat and seafood. He starts the car and starts driving, and I didn’t bother to ask where he’s taking me, though I have a hint that he’ll just drive me back to Gran’s place.
“I have a question,” I break the silence, looking at his side profile, and I can’t believe I missed how his nose looks good on this side.
“I had a hunch you have,” he chuckles, not taking his eyes off the road.
I click my tongue, glaring at him for a second. “You said that Gran wouldn’t be happy with what Han was doing. Do they know each other? I mean, yeah, everyone knows everyone here. But you know...”
“Hmm...” Baekhyun purses his lips as he thinks, and I almost coo at how he looks ado; ate, at the same time, almost slap myself for thinking that way. “I’m not sure if I’m in the position to tell you that.”
“Oh, come on. I thought you like tea!”
“Green tea or chamomile?” he repeats the joke I told him the other day, earning a glare from me. “I’m kidding. I’ll tell you, but no follow up question about it, okay?”
I nod my head excitedly like a child.
“Gran is Han’s mother.” Baekhyun simply said, shrugging his shoulder as if everyone should’ve known about this information.
I can only gape athim, before verbalizing my thoughts. “I thought Gran doesn’t have a kid. I obviously guessed wrongly.”
“Kids.”
My jaw almost dropped on the ground, and my eyes went wide as a saucer. “No fucking way. Where’s the other one? Or how many she has?”
“No follow up question, remember?” Baekhyun smirks, raising a brow.
“Oh, come on. You’re no fun!” I groan at him, wanting to slap the smirk off his ,face but he’s driving, and I don’t want to risk it.
Baekhyun laughs this time, shaking his head. “Well, I’m not going to be like you who didn’t finish her story.” That did earn him a slap on his arm, though not forcefully. He whines, rubbing the spot I hit before continuing, “Gran has two sons. Her oldest is out there, conquering the world, and you see Han... you already saw where he is in life.”
My figure stiffens for a while, and it takes me a little while to slowly sit up straight, looking ahead of me. I didn’t want the ride to be weird, so I snickered, giving Baekhyun a playful look. “That sounds really familiar.” lookedlook into each other’s eyes for only a few seconds since he had to focus on the road, and I’m glad he didn’t say anything. But I know. I know that he has a feeling what I meant by that.
The only time a word was said was when I realized that the road he drives on is a different route to where Gran’s house is.
“Where—”
“Consider yourself lucky,” he stops the car on the side of the road, pulling the handbrake before unbuckling his seatbelt. I have no choice but to fo his suit. I jump out of his truck and follow him wherever he’s taking me.
We trek for ten minutes and I’m starting to catch my breath. “Y-you, motherfu—”
“Just wait and see, it’ll be worth it.” Baekhyun claims, and his enthusiasm rubbing on my unfit body.
I sit next to him on a bed of grass with little white flowers all over it. “You didn’t even ask me if I want to be driven back to Gran’s house, or if I want to torture myself by hiking before six in the morning, without breakfast, mind you.”
“Hey, be appreciative, can you?” he bumps his shoulder with mine. “This is secret hideout. I brought you here because you look like you’re turning into a panda—what the hell happened to your eyebags, seriously?”
His tone was playful, and I’m aware he was. He’s only doing it as a part of our normal banter-slash-daily conversation, but I smile sadly, shaking my head. “It’s nothing...”
“Hey, come on,” he sighs, scooting closer to me, “I just gave you a tea that I’m not supposed to talk about. A little trust here, please?”
“I’m—I—” I exhale heavily, biting my bottom lip, contemplating for a while if I should be talking about this to someone I barely know. But then, he has been there for me despite being a jerk at first. “I’m having trouble sleeping.”
He nods his head; judgment is absent on his face. And I take it as a good sign that he’s listening to me. “Did it start when you arrived here?”
I shake my head, starting to f my tears forming on the brim of my eyes, and I’m more than surprised because I can’t even remember the last time I cried.
Was it when my parents didn’t attend my middle school graduation? Or was it when no one remembered my sixteenth birthday?
I don’t know.
“Two, three years ago? I don’t know—I honestly can’t remember.”
Baekhyun heaves a deep trembling breath, trying to look calm as possible. “Have you got it checked? Are taking medication to help you sleep?”
I shake my head once again, looking ahead. “No. My dad will know since I didn't really have money of my own and used his card back home. He checks all my transaction, and I’m scared that they might found out about it.”
“Then, how do you cope?”
I shrug my shoulders, turning my head to look at him, giving him the most genuine smile I can ever give, although it’s a sad smile. “Alcohol makes me sleepy, and cigarette soothes my nerve.”
He doesn’t say anything for a good minute or two, and I’m starting to get worried about how I shouldn’t have told him my troubles, but when he spoke, his voice is much calmer, soothing, and quiet. “Now I know why you were always up to learn how to ride a bike in the middle of the night.”
I laugh at his statement, the corner of my eyes crinkling in the process. “Yeah... I couldn’t sleep so , I might as well tire myself out.”
“Is it also why you were at the dock?”
I nod my head, “Yep, decide to take a long walk then try to go to sleep. But I saw where the dock is, and the rest is history.”
Baekhyun hums before patting me; his mouth curves up into a gentle smile. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this.”
I don’t know what to say or how to react. But all I know is that I’m glad I told him what happened to me. My eyes didn’t leave him for a minute until he tilted his head in the direction in front of us, asking me to look at it.
I didn’t even realize how long we’d been sitting there. The dark sky slowly turns golden. Rays of sun start peeking out at the line where the sky meets the sea. Seagulls start singing like they did when I first arrived here in this town, the sound of waves of the ocean hitting the shore... it’s incredible.
I hold my breath, mesmerized by the majestic viewthe of sunrise in this partthe of the country. My first instinct was to curse to express how gorgeouswast is, but Baekhyun cuts me beforcould can even open my mouth.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
My head turns to look at him, a huge grin on my face to show how much I agree with his statement, but when my eyes get the sight of his face getting hit by the soft ray of sunlight, I am lost for words.
Words wouldn’t come out between my lips, and I feel like I turn into a rock when I force myself to look away from him.
It feels like I can’t look at anything else but him.
Beautiful indeed.
A month in this ,town and I’m handling it quite well than I expected on my first day.
Of course, it’s not sunshine and rainbows with unicorns every single day. I’ve had a fair share of bad days. Although most of them were nothing serious, I could still say: Tomorrow’s a new day!
But nothing compares to what happened when Jisoo asked me to hang out, and she’d tour me around the town—properly, as she clearly claimed.
Don’t get me wrong, it went well. She’s probably one of the kindest people around here, next to Gran, but then again, everyone in this town is friendly and welcoming.
I didn’t have the bicycle with me that day because Jisoo insisted on picking me up from Gran’s house and we went around the town in her sedan. And when the sun started to set, she offered to drive me back to Gran’s and of course, I agreed because I don’t have the will in me to walk that far, but surprise, surprise, Baekhyun’s truck pulled up on the side of the road, honking noisily to get our attention.
I’m aware of his little crush on Jisoo; he made it obvious the first time I met the latter, and he made it obvious again this time.
Of course, I brushed it off, reminding myself that we have nothing going on between us and convincing myself that I don’t have anything going on for him—and I really do hope I’m doing a great job on that.
However, it felt like a bucket of ice-cold water was splashed on my face when I heard their conversation.
“Chivalry is not dead, Baekhyun?” Jisoo giggled, pushing Baekhyun’s shoulder with her hand, and the man had the cheek to blush. “Always ready to pick her up, huh? Never seen you put an effort to a girl before.”
“Oh, it’s not like that...” he chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “She’s from the city, and I’m doing Gran’s a favor.”
At that moment, I had to rethink if I had the stamina to walk all the way back to Gran’s. I wanted to be alone, but Baekhyun literally pushed me inside his truck.
He might be thinking that I’m just being sulky since I do that quite often when I lose every time we bicker. He acts normal as if he didn’t say those words earlier about me, being well aware that I was around and could hear them perfectly.
I close my eyes and pretend to take a rest while he tells a hilarious story from his day job. Though I’m pretty tired, I still have some energy left in me. I just don’t want to see his face.
But Baekhyun is quite smart. He figures out three later. Okay, that might be long for others, but I’m still civil with him, to the point no one notices how I tried so hard to avoid him unless necessary.
I may not be academically smart, but I can be quite observant. I’d be up extra early to finish the errands Gran listed out for me the night before—she doesn’t usually do it, but I kind of forced her to, so I’d know in advance what I’d be doing for the day.
Then, when he’d come over unannounced, I’d go feed Gran’s animals their second dinner.
Everything was going well for me until I got invited to hang out with Jisoo and her friends. I really wanted to say no, but Gran looked so happy when Jisoo came knocking on her door.
“Oh, dear, it’s alright! I’ll pack the leftovers and put them in the fridge. You can heat it up when you’re still hungry once you’re back.” she said when I tried using her meatloaf as an excuse for me not to go.
That’s how I met Jongdae, the talkative but gentlemanly guy; Minseok, their hyung who’s always looking out for others if they have enough beer in their system and send them home.
I’m really bad with names and can’t remember most of Jisoo’s circle, but they keep talking to me because, apparently, they’re Baekhyun friends and heard about me from the man himself.
“Why is he not here, though?” Curiosity got the best of me when Baekhyun’s friends were were here, and of course, Jisoo’s here. “Did he not get an invite?”
Jongdae laughs and slaps my shoulder like we’ve known each other our whole lives. Minseok chuckles at the sight before taking a swig of his beer. “Baekhyun’s always invited. In fact, he’d be there before you can invite him. But we don’t know—said that he’s not feeling well or somethin’.”
I frown upon hearing that. He seemed fine when he dropped by this morning at Gran’s. “What—is he sick?”
“He’s sick alright,” Jongdae snorts, drinking his beer, and Minseok nudges him with his knee. “Hey—you know what? Let’s take a picture to capture this moment.”
My expression twists at the sudden change of subject, nonetheless, I force the best I could ever give as soon as Jongdae put his phone an arm away after switching to the front camera. “Say: Baekhyun’s sick!”
I didn’t follow him, though I did manage to sneak an eye roll before he hit the capture button.
“Send it to me, I’d like a copy,” Minseok says, taking his phone out from his pocket. Jongdae nods his head, tapping the screen of his phone before gasping out loud.
“What?” Me and Minseok choruses.
Jongdae turns to us with wide eyes, “I mistakenly sent it to our group chat instead of personal message. Okay, I’m going to put my phone to DND before someone spams me.”
I roll my eyes once again but can’t fight the smile spreading on my lips, thinking how ridiculous yet fun experience it is to hang out with these guys. While Minseok looks like he’s going to smash his bottle of beer on Jongdae’s head. “Can you stop being so dramatic for once?”
The night is filled with laughter, beers, and some fun games that, I must admit, are fun. I don’t think I can remember the last time I enjoyed the company of being around other people, or people in general.
I’m on my third bottle of cold beer, chatting between Jongdae and Minseok, when the bottle in my hand magically disappears. I haven’t had alcohol for quite a long time—no judgment, that I’m already tipsy. I was about to fight anyone just for a bottle of beer but was met with Baekhyun’s eyes.
“Oh, that was fast!” Jongdae cheers, pertaining to Baekhyun. He claps his hand and pats the space beside him for the guy to sit.
But instead, Baekhyun motions me to scoot a little so he can squeeze in the space between me and Jongdae. And of course, that receives a grunt from us.
“What are you doing here?” I ask him in a small voice, though his two friends definitely heard me as they both snicker at the same time.
Before Baekhyun could answer, Jisoo appears in front of us, holding her own drink and a bit red, probably from drinking too much—she���s not very subtle with her drinking, but I guess everyone needs a little loose from time to time, no one’s judging.
“Baekhyun! I thought you couldn’t make it!”
I’m not interested in seeing their interaction as I’m already sulking as it is, so I tried to reach out for my beer that’s still in Baekhyun’s hold, but as soon as my fingertips touch it, he clicks his tongue at me, giving me a warning look.
Jongdae crosses his legs, leaning on his hands to look at Baekhyun mockingly. “Oh yes, Baekhyun. I thought you said you were too tired and not feeling like it?”
He really does look tired, and I’m also confused as to why he’s here. But he just kicks Jongdae’s feet and glares at Minseok who frowns because the guy is literally younger than him. “I don’t trust you guys with alcohol.”
“Pssh!” Jongdae dismisses him by waving a hand on his face. “We both know that’s a lie. You trust us the most.”
“He’s drunk,” I murmur, which receives a hum of agreement from Baekhyun that makes the hair on the back of my neck rise.
He turns his head a little to the side to peek over his shoulder. His face is so close to mine that I can feel his breath tickling my lashes. “You?”
I shake my head a little, my words getting caught in my throat that I have to put an effort to respond to him. “No, not really.”
Jongdae couldn’t stop his excitement and let out a high pitch laugh that caught the attention of other people around.
I’m the one who breaks the eye contact, clearing my throat before looking the other way. I see Minseok already giving me a small smile, wiggling his brows. He manages to murmur, “adorable,” before drinking his beer.
If I heard that a few weeks ago, I’d probably have had the same reaction when Gran said the same thing. But now, I can honestly feel the heat creeping up from my neck to my cheeks. I’ll just use the alcohol as an excuse if someone notices.
As more empty bottles scattered around the area, few people gathered where we are, and not to mention they decided it was a good idea to put me on the spot to ask questions—thanks to Jongdae who practically announced that I’m a tourist here.
“So, wait,” A girl named Bomee slurs, tilting her head as she speaks, “your dad threw you out because you drink a lot?”
I seriously need more alcohol in my system before I can answer her honestly. But Baekhyun here wouldn’t give them back every time I’d get a new one, and he’d give it to Jongdae instead who, I believe, puke couple times already.
“Sort of?” I answer carefully, shrugging my shoulders.
“Then why did you keep drinking if your family hates it?” A guy named Jaebom chimes in. And Bomee hisses at him for being so insensitive. Though, I don’t mind because all my mind can process is how they seem to be invested in my story.
“Well—how do I explain it?” I exhale through my nose, biting my bottom lip, and my leg started to bounce, feeling a bit anxious if I should answer the question.
But then I feel something on my bare knee since I’m wearing shorts. I shift my focus from Jaebom and glance at my side. It was Baekhyun’s thigh. He keeps his gaze ahead of him but left his thigh on my knee.
The corner of my mouth lifts for a second before pursing my lips. It’s probably time for me to let this out, as to why I did what’s been done. To what really goes on my mind that no one bothered to ask.
Until I arrived in this town.
Until I met these people.
Until I met this man who oddly calms my storm.
“I’m not really the favorite child,” I start, giving them a smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “The most common misconception is that if you’re the youngest, you get attention, love, everything. But that doesn’t apply to my family.
“I don’t remember it well, but I had a good relationship with my father until I started school. He immediately saw the difference between me and my older brother. He’s way smarter than I am. He’s polite and I get in trouble from left to right even without trying.
“My dad started to compare me to my brother as we grew up, and I believe that’s the main reason why I developed resentment towards my brother. My mother... she doesn’t care, she never did. She’s always been busy with her charity events that would make her look good to the public, and of course, her friends.
“However, despite their busy schedules, they’d clear everything to attend my brother’s graduation, school events and such. But they’ve never been on mine. That’s probably the reason why something in me snapped when I was in high school.
“I was in the wrong circle. I got in trouble for drinking and smoking. It wasn’t my attention, but for the first time, my parents went to my school, although for a reason that’s nothing to be proud of. I misunderstood the rebellion just to get their attention.
“But now I’m in my last year for my undergrad, it just became an escape. I no longer care for my parents’ attention, but I became dependent on alcohol to sleep, and cigarettes to calm down. And to be honest, I’m scared to get checked—because what if something’s wrong with me? Who’ll take care of me? I can barely hold my shit together. Or will it worsen my situation in our house? As they’ve already seen me as a burdensome.
“So, yeah. I’m here because I don’t have anywhere else to go. I bought a train ticket without knowing anything about the destination. Don't get me wrong, your town is freakin’ awesome, exquisite, but I’d sell my soul for a cheeseburger and chicken nuggets right now.”
I end my speech with a deep, trembling sigh, forcing myself to give them a smile, but it immediately drops when I see most of them tearing up, especially Jongdae who’s already hammered.
“Hey—what the heck, you guys.” I chuckle awkwardly, sitting up straight to look at them one by one. Jisoo even had to excuse herself as she cries, while Jaebeom looks at me apologetically, “I’m sorry. I—I shouldn’t have had ask you that...”
“No, no!” I walk over to them, feeling guilty for ruining the mood. I try to calm them down, but Jongdae, being dramatic as he is, starts to sob, talking to himself as he thanks his parents for loving him despite being such a headache.
Minseok looks at me fondly, though there’s a hint of pity and sadness in his eyes. “This is such a good reminder to be kind. We don’t know who’s struggling silently, and what we can only do is to be kind.”
I smile at what he said, nodding my head in agreement. “Be kind.”
Baekhyun finally gives up around two in the morning. I’m about to bid him good night but then he waits for me to get on my feet. “What—why?” I whine, not wanting to leave as I’m honestly having fun joking around with his friends and others.
Baekhyun sighs my name, dropping his shoulders. “Please? No one here will drive you home; everyone has alcohol in their system—no, Jongdae, you’re too drunk to drive, just sleep here.”
I groan loudly, giving him a glare. Nonetheless, I wave goodbye to everyone, promising that I’ll see them again soon.
I sit on Baekhyun’s truck, rolling down the windows so the chilly night breeze will hit my face soothingly.
“You okay?”
I can only grunt in response, resting the side of my head on the window frame.
“Sure? Or you’re too drunk to tell?”
“Baekhyun—” I close my eyes before pursing my lips. “I only had two bottles because you won’t let have any as soon as you arrived. If I was drunk by two bottles, I’m sober enough by the window time you kept snatching all bottles in my hand.”
He looks taken aback by my sudden outburst, and I do admit that I feel a little guilty about it. “H-hey, I’m sorry. I can make a U turn if you want to go back—sorry...”
I gnaw my bottom lip, wanting to slap myself for overreacting to something not big of a deal. “No, it’s fine. Just keep driving.”
He keeps driving alright. I’m in daze when I realize that it’s not the way back to Gran’s house, and we’ve been on the road for almost an hour—and that’s without traffic!
From trees and the shallow sound of waves crashing to the shore, my eyes meet with bright lights and buildings—though nothing compared to the big city, but my heart couldn’t stop fluttering seeing such familiar sight.
“Baekhyun, where—”
“You said you wanted cheeseburger,” he simply said, not even letting me finish my question. “And this is the nearest one from the town.”
And boy, did I wish to still use the alcohol as an excuse when he saw how red my face is, but then I remember how I mentioned that I sobered enough. Dumb.
Fortunately, he doesn’t say anything. Just a subtle smirk on his face, and he shakes his head a little.
Two cheeseburgers, ten pieces chicken nuggets, two large drinks and fries to share, we are seated on the back of his truck with the tailgates opened, in an empty parking under a starry night sky.
“Wait—so, you’re telling me you attended an Ivy League in the city?” I ask him with wide eyes, unable to believe the information I heard about him. We are talking about life and stuff, and I finally convinced him to tell something he hasn’t told me before.
Baekhyun casually takes a huge bite of his burger before nodding his head. He looks up to the sky for a few seconds before meeting my curious eyes. “Yeah... got a scholarship and stayed there for two years.”
“Holy crap, so you’re really smart! Damn, I could barely pass a minor subject. What the heck, Baekhyun? Why did you stop?”
He chuckles, flicking the tip of my nose with his finger. “Slow down, woman. You sound too excited.”
“Of course, I am!” I huff, reminiscing about the time when I dreamt of attending an Ivy League, but my GPA didn’t cooperate.
Baekhyun gives me a soft smile, eyes dancing around my facial features. “Is it the lighting here or you’re extra pretty today?”
I must admit that it did make my heart go crazy, and the butterflies in my stomach dance, or whatever crap people call it.
And it didn’t help when he chuckles huskily upon seeing my reaction. “I didn’t like it. It was the first time I had been away from my family for that long, and people were so different. Life was too busy, and the pressure of a job title right after graduation was insanely unrealistic.”
I nod my head in agreement, totally understanding his sentiments, especially now I’ve lived in his town for a month. I saw, experienced, lived the life they have. Quiet, simple, and peaceful.
Contentment.
Contentment is the city will never have.
“I was studying Psychology, and I was really interested in the subject. It was the environment I couldn’t keep up,” he continues, “now I’m twenty-four years old, living in his parents’ walkout basement.”
“And you’re happy,” I smile at him, and it makes him stare at me, unblinking, he then mirrors my smile, though his was wider and the corner of his eyes crinkle.
“That, I am.” he grins widely, and it makes my heart flutter seeing him like this. “I’m delighted you used and instead of but.”
“Oh, of course,” I shrug, smiling more widely than I already am. I honestly didn’t think about that—it just came out naturally. “But hey, can I ask you something personal? And it’s totally fine if you don’t feel like telling me.”
Baekhyun nods his head, turning his body to face me, his legs touching my outstretch limbs.
“Why did you hate me so much the first time we met?”
That seems to catch him off guard. He pulls his head back before pursing his lips. “Y-you sure Gran didn’t tell you? Or you just want me to put on spot?”
I look at him weirdly before shaking my head. “No, I’m genuinely curious. You went apeshit when you barely know me. You were an ass—sorry. Anyway, Gran only told me it’s about something businessmen wanting to take the town.”
Baekhyun rolls his eyes, exhaling heavily. He takes the last bite of his food and crumples the wrapper before putting it aside. “Okay—it’s no secret in the town that Gran’s eldest son is a very successful businessman.”
I gape at him, eyes getting wide. “I didn’t know that!”
“Well, you’re not exactly from the town and—” he only stops talking when I glare at him. “Moving on, when I was still in the city, I met a girl—why are you looking at me like that?”
I didn’t even realize I’m frowning until Baekhyun pointed it out. I instantly wipe my annoyed expression that automatically came out when he mentioned a girl. Since when did I become possessive? We’re not even together romantically. “What look?”
Baekhyun looks at me skeptically, though he’s unable to hide that little smirk on his face that I’ve been wanting to slap off.
“I met this girl—we’re not together anymore so calm down—”
“I wasn’t even asking—”
“You want me to continue or not?” he raises a brow in my direction, and I sigh in defeat.
“Sorry—continue.”
“So... I took her to the town to tour around, and of course, to meet my family. I thought it went well because you know, it’s normal for people to take pictures and document everything. However, I never thought that it would take a drastic turn when her short clips posted on the internet became viral and several investors immediately came to examine the area. And surprise, surprise! Gran’s eldest was one of them.”
I’m listening to his every word carefully and when he mentioned how the town became viral, it came crashing to me as why it sounded familiar back in the train station at the city. I now remember passing by a short clip a couple years ago.
“Gran’s sons are sort of estrange to her and her late husband. So, when he found out that his mother lives here, he thought he had better chance than other men in suit.”
I nod my head, slowly absorbing much information in the middle of the night. “And I’m guessing Gran hated the idea?”
“Hates it. She got angry at her son who didn’t contact them for years, and had the audacity to ask them to convince the people in town to sell their land to him. But more importantly, she cares for everyone in town. What will happen to locals if hotels and resorts are all around?”
I did hear from Gran about what happened with her husband about a year ago, and now I’m connecting dots. “Poor Gran...”
Baekhyun sighs, looking up in the sky. “Yeah... Gran and Pop-pop were everyone’s favorite grandparents in town. When Pop-pop passed, it took a toll on all of us. You met the youngest, Han, and he’s not really someone you can rely on, even when it comes to his parents. So, we promised Pop-pop that we’d take care of Gran then the next day, he’s gone.”
My mouth curves down and I look at him with sadness in my eyes. I just can’t imagine what they’ve been through. “I’m so sorry...”
But Baekhyun smiles at me, patting my cheek as an assurance. “It’s okay. And I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize as well. You didn’t deserve that. I was an ass, damn right.”
“Well, forgiven since you bought me cheeseburger and chicken nuggets.” I giggle, raising the wrapped greasy burger in my hand.
Baekhyun laughs as well before straightening his back. “And for your information, this is all me. I’m doing no favor to anyone.” he bumps his shoulder with mine and I bend my neck a little to meet his eyes.
“What...?” I raise an eyebrow to him.
He clears his throat before speaking, “Should we now talk about us?”
Taking a bite in the middle of this kind of conversation is not really ideal. But in my defense, I didn’t know he was going to say that. My cheek protruded with the burger still in my mouth while I look at his eyes, unsure where this conversation would take us.
“W-what about us?”
His expression hardens, but it quickly vanished when he realizes I’m quite lost with what he’s going to say. “Gran’s animals will be overweight the next time you avoided me when I come over.”
“Oh.” was all I could say. I drop my shoulders and sniff, looking ahead of me. “Don’t worry about it. There are times I could get extra sensitive—I’ll get over it.”
“No, baby, I—” he lets out a deep trembling breath, sighing my name afterwards. “Sorry, that just came out.”
I can’t do anything but to smile awkwardly, mumbling an, “It’s okay.” Because no one has ever called me that kind of endearment without intimate intercourse before.
It’s weird... yet nice.
“Okay. I—Gran stopped forcing me to help you when you bit my ear. She thought that it might get us both on each other’s bad side further. She made me apologize but that’s it. Hasn’t ask anything since then.” Baekhyun huffs out, asking me to look at him, and I did. “I just see you in a different light now. I don’t know when it started. Maybe when you started making jokes about your stupidity with riding a bicycle—or when I finally had the chance to get to know you better on Gran’s roof—minus the smoking.”
I was about to hit him with my fist, but I’m so glad I didn’t, and chose to let him finish what he’s about to say.
“What I’m saying is... you make me shy, edgy—those stuffs, and I’d blabber the idiotic thing I could think of. I’m sorry.”
“I—uh...” there’s a lump in my throat that’s hindering me from responding to what he just said. Though, really, I’m just out of words. “Okay...”
“Really—that’s it? Okay?” his face went blank, eyes getting droopy as ever.
“What do you want me to say?” I counter, my voice gets higher. “I thought you like Jisoo. So, you know? I didn’t think about it that much.” Lies. But who’s letting him know? Obviously not me.
“I didn’t say I like her—”
“You were ogling at her, Baekhyun!”
“I’m aware it was inappropriate, but she was wearing a low-cut shirt and flashing her cleavage on my face, okay? I’m sorry if you misunderstood it.”
“Mind you, I offered to show you my boobs in exchange for some bike lessons and maintenance, but you were too prim back then.” I argue, crossing my arms across my chest, purposely lifting them up to be visibly in better shape. “But I guess Jisoo’s cleavage makes you shy and edgy.”
“You—” Baekhyun groans, rubbing his face tiredly. “You’re so stubborn, aren’t you?”
I shrug my shoulder, taking a bite of my burger... angrily. “I’ve been told. But thanks for the reminder.”
Neither of us said a word for quite some time. We are just seated next to each other at the back of his truck while I finish the food because apparently, I’m too stubborn. What he didn’t know is that I can be stubborn and hungry.
In all honesty, I do like Baekhyun. He makes me feel something I’ve never felt before. He makes everything around me brighter. He makes me see colors. He makes me realize that life can be beautiful.
Especially now he admits that he initiated everything he has done for me without Gran’s presence. And it’s a lot to take... though in a nice way.
However, I’m not going to deny the fact that I’m quite hesitant since I still have to go back home. I still have a year left in university. And I don’t know my career from there. I’m not even sure if my dad will take me in to work in his company, nonetheless, dropping out just like that is not part of my initial plan.
If we ever, stating out a huge possibility, got together, in just a few weeks, we’d cater to a long-distance relationship that rarely works for other people. What are the odds it’d work for me... for us?
And I believe coming out clean about the uncertainty must be verbalized to Baekhyun to be fair.
“I still have a year left in university, Baekhyun,” I murmur, glancing at him at the corner of my eye and see that he’s looking at me intently. “I need to go back to the city before semester starts.”
I see the small frown between his eyebrows as he absorbs my intention. “That’s it?”
Now, it’s my turn to narrow my eyes to him, clenching my jaw as I face him properly. “What do you mean by that’s it? I’m not dropping out—”
“Who said about dropping out?!” he cut me off, his voice got way out of control and can be considered as yell. He notices how I jolt on my seat, leaning my body away from his. He exhales through his mouth, calming himself before speaking again. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to shout. But can you hear me for a second? Because it looks like I’m the only one who’s willing to make us work.”
I open my mouth to counter his words, but nothing comes out, coming to a realization that he’s right. I roll my eyes at him just to show him I’m not mad or something. I grumble, “Fine.”
He smiles at me fondly, scooting closer to me. He snatches the food wrapper on my lap, putting it aside, before grabbing my hands. And I swear to God, my heart almost couldn’t take when he places his puckered lips to my knuckles, kissing them lightly repeatedly.
This man really knows how to sweep me off my feet.
“I like you, a lot.” he admits, smiling sheepishly and I don’t miss the shade of red on his cheeks. “It’s embarrassing how much I think of you in a day. I thought I was just worried about you because you’re not from around here. But then I started looking for you even if we were in the same room. You listen to my stories without judgement, you laugh at my jokes even when I know they’re not funny—I don’t know. It’s just... I like you, and it’s too early to say if it’s love and I don’t want to scare you, but I just want you to know, I’m willing to get there.”
I didn’t know I was holding my breath until Baekhyun calls my name. I blink several times to snap out of it. “B-Baekhyun, I—” I swallow the lump in my throat when my voice cracks.
“Before you say no,” he cuts me off again, smiling kindly. “I just want to let you know that I will never cheat on you even where you’re in the city and I’m here. I will make sure to give you peace of mind every day.”
I look at him longingly, gnawing my bottom lip with my teeth. Unable to find the right word to say, or more likely, unable to come up with a decision to my dilemma. “That’s a huge thing to say, Baekhyun...”
He sighs in relief when I finally said something, although it’s not a yes, but he just looks glad it was not a no. He grins widely, interlacing our fingers together and placing them on his lap. “It is. But that’s to prove my conclusion on how much I like you. I’m surprise as you are.”
I finally let out a chuckle, hitting his chest with my fist, though with not much of force but he still grunts. “Anything else I should expect from you?”
Baekhyun looks like he’s going to cry in relief when I said that, and I feel bad for acting so distant that it stresses him this much. He closes his eyes for a few seconds with a wide smile on his mouth before responding to my question. “Hmm... let me see. Well, I’m quite good in bed.”
I know he meant it as a joke since that’s just how we always communicate, but he looks so surprised when I agreed in a heartbeat. “Okay, I’m sold.”
“Wait—seriously?”
I nod my head, grinning innocently at him, or at least I’m hoping it to be. “What can I say? I have needs.”
“No, baby—” I thought he’s going to take back the endearment, but the butterflies in my stomach flutters when he doesn’t. “I mean—okay, that’s good to know, I’ll make sure to take care of you. But are you serious—you’re not playin’ with me? You’re saying yes?”
“Yes, Baekhyun,” I thought my smile couldn’t get any wider, but it does. “I like you—though, I can’t say if I like you a lot as well, but—”
He had to give me a death stare to make me shut up. I giggle, getting the courage to throw my arms around his neck, giving his cheek a smooch. “I like you a lot, Baekhyun.”
When I pull my head back, still in his arms, we are inches apart, staring at each other’s eyes then to our lips. I can’t help but sigh when our mouths finally meet. I climb to his lap, hands on his shoulders, while he holds my waist.
His lips are soft and warm. Like a hot towel after a shower during winter. Comforting. It almost tastes like hot cocoa on Christmas evening. Sweet and satisfying.
We had to cut everything and pull away from each other when I felt something beneath me. Baekhyun looks embarrassed and uses my tongue as an excuse for his hard on. I laugh at him, getting off his lap but not before giving his mouth another kiss.
He looks beyond surprised, yet excited, when I ask during our drive back, “Hey, can I stay over?”
It’s my first time seeing where he stays. Since it’s a walkout basement, it has its own entrance a few steps down from the main ground.
It’s tidy, except for the unfolded clothes on the armchair at the corner, and he has a typical twin-sized bed, and a few clutters on the wall shelves on the other side of the room.
He asks for two minutes while he cleans up, though what he’s done is to just hide the clothes in his closet and smoothen out the bed sheet.
Somewhere along my pun, “Are we going to fit in there?” referring to his bed while laughing makes me hot in an instant when he said, “I can top so it’d be fine.”
I try to laugh it off, sitting at the edge of the mattress. “I only meant to sleep here, but you seems to have another idea in your head. I’m not sure if I like it.”
With what he said a while ago, he has the audacity to blush, stammering with his words, “H-hey! You’re the one who shoved your tongue in my mouth. I thought—”
I’m wheezing from laughing too much, holding my stomach as it starts hurting. I cough and catch my breath when I glance at his pouty face, watching me make fun of his conundrum.
“I’m just kidding, come here,” I extend my arm, reaching out to him before flopping on the mattress.
Baekhyun makes me feel loved, special, and cherish me as a woman as he kisses my body while peeling my clothes off my body. He never forgets my emotions while getting into his desires.
I appreciate his time to set the mood by touching me like I want him to, tasting parts of me like a starving man. Then asking for consent before proceeding to enter once he secured protection.
No one had bothered to ask me on my previous experiences.
That night, I can consider it as my first time making love.
My first time feeling loved.
He kisses my mouth when he comes, then makes sure I’d reach my peak afterwards. I can’t remember the last time I felt sexually satisfied, but I definitely won’t forget this one.
Our foreheads lean on each other as we bask in our warmth and presence. We kiss each other’s mouth, nose and cheeks, giggling with each peck. And my eyes close blissfully when Baekhyun bends his neck to kiss my forehead, leaving his lips there for a few seconds before sighing.
I can feel his heartbeat on my chest when he does that. Whatever I’m feeling, he’s feeling it too.
Baekhyun’s right. It’s too early to say it’s love, but same as him, I’m willing to get there.
That night was the first of so many nights we’d spend together.
No one can beat Gran’s reaction when she found out that me and Baekhyun are together-together. She said that she didn’t expect it since she saw how we fought, bicker, and threw nasty words at each other that it gotten to a point where it got physical—my fault, sorry.
She gushed until the word came to almost everyone in town. I’m no longer Gran’s visitor as they once called me. I’m now Baekhyun’s girl.
Baekhyun is probably the sweetest, at the same time, manliest man I’ve ever met. Okay, I’m exaggerating but I’m so proud to call him my boyfriend.
It’s no news that I could say that I grew up without a man figure in my life even though I still have a dad, and I’m not really close with my older brother. And I’ve dated quite a few back in the city.
But with Baekhyun... damn it’s different. It’s good different.
Back in the city, it was only sex, alcohol, look cool together, sex, move on to different person, and repeat.
I mentioned to him that he’s like my first real relationship, and it boosted his ego. I have no problem with it since Baekhyun might know how to piss me off, but he’s never crossed the line, and I can’t see him doing it.
That’s the thing about him. He’s too respectful. At first, I was skeptical, thinking that he’d done something, and was just acting like that to prepare me for the worst. “Of course, I ought to treat you right. We’re together, aren’t we?”
It’s shameful to say out loud, but I gave him head that night.
Also, Baekhyun didn’t wait a week, or even a day, for me to meet his parents. It was awkward since we fell asleep the first night we got together in the basement and were awoken by his mother knocking on his door. I suggested waiting it out and I’d hide under his bed or closet, but he brushed me off, asking me to wear one of his oversized T-shirts before opening the door.
His mom was cool about it, in fact, she even asked us to go upstairs to the main floor to have breakfast. There, I met his dad, who looked so happy his youngest son got laid. No word was spoken to say what happened; it was just that obvious, even Baekhyun’s older brother kept wiggling his eyebrows to us.
Oh, of course, sex is great. He really proves he’s good in bed. The only struggle we had in the first week was with where to do it without any hindrance. Because apparently, “Baby, you’re adorable, but please—you’re such giggler.”
I didn’t even get mad at him when he said that. Instead, I laughed even more, and he had to put his mouth on mine since we were at his place and his family was right above us.
Since I’m quite ticklish, I had to learn to control my reaction when he’d run his hands on my bare body. That happened when he sneaked on Gran’s window on the second floor where I’m staying. I was about to sleep but felt the air mattress dipping beside me then an arm wrapped around my waist.
Gran is a light sleeper, so I had to bite my lip and swallow the noise down my throat. Imagine the person who’s taking care of you inside their house caught you having sex in the mattress you both struggle to inflate.
That'd be embarrassing.
But most of all, my favorite moments with Baekhyun are when we’d just lie on bed, or his favorite hangout spot where the golden sunrise view is always spectacular. We’d be in each other’s arms, appreciating the comforting silence.
In our clothes, yet intimate.
Though, I’m not discrediting him for his ideas of dates. I’ve never been to sweet ones, so he makes sure he’d put his best effort, like picnics, walking on the shore with shoes in our hands while the sun sets in such beautiful collusion of red and yellow colors. Or if he doesn’t have work, we’d hang out on Gran’s roof to stargaze.
We still bickered, yes, but it was nothing serious. Mostly, just to make fun of each other until one gets pouty and sulky. But that’s mostly me because I do like his affection when I’m pouty and sulky.
Baekhyun is becoming my favorite person, and I’m not complaining even a bit.
And not to forget there’s the simple, domestic kind. You know, just hanging out at each other’s place. Doing things normal people do.
Mind you, I haven’t done the dishes, laundry nor folded clothes—or any house chore, in my entire life. That was until I arrived here. I must help Gran at her house because that’s the least I could do for someone who put roof under my head and food in my tummy.
She did have a hard time teaching me basic things but there was nothing that could stop me from learning. Even if it means cuts, burns, and even bruises. Those were just small boo-boos and they healed in a few days. Now I have started enjoying doing the laundry or folding clothes with Gran’s old music playing in the background.
Hence, when Baekhyun dropped by one late afternoon to inform me that he had work in the nearby town and wouldn’t be home until the morning, I decided to pay his place a visit.
Right after dinner, I told Gran that I’d stay the night at Baekhyun’s, and she looked confused since she knew that he was out of town but let me go anyway.
It was not the first time I’d be staying at his place even when he was not around. This usually occurs when he’d be working in the dock, and I’d wait for him in his basement. I already know where the spare key is, and let myself in.
As expected, a pile of clothes was still sitting on the armchair in the corner of his room. He may be tidy in other things, but not when it came to the business after washing machine. I tied my hair in a ponytail and got to work.
His mom even came down to check since she heard noises and thought it was someone else. She offered to help but I assured her I’d be fine. She looked at me fondly, telling me that I could go upstairs should I need anything.
His clothes neatly folded in his closet, his bed sheet was nice and clean, and his floor was vacuumed and mopped. And I was spent.
I never expected anything from him in return every time I’d do these kinds of things, but he just does.
Sometimes it was a bouquet of flowers, or sometimes he’d take me out of town to eat the food I was craving. But my preferred is his simple kiss on a cheek and a, “Thank you, baby.”
Orrr... occasionally, I’d prefer a kiss while sleeping in his bed as soon as he got back and cuddling through the morning.
Baekhyun does the same. When he’s not working, he’d help me at Gran’s place. From simple chores to heavy ones.
Just like today. It's Sunday and I told Gran that I will stay to help her clean the house. I still haven’t turned on my phone, so it feels almost magical when Baekhyun appears out of nowhere. Most especially now that the roof needs to be cleaned.
The day was almost perfect until Han suddenly came in from the back door in the kitchen. I roll my eyes at him, and he gives me the same sass.
When he found out I’ve been staying as a guest at his mother’s, he got agitated since Gran doesn’t even give him a room to stay, but she’s giving one to a stranger. Although Gran still feeds him when he’s around. A mother will always be a mother. Can’t relate, to be honest.
I’m dusting the living room when Han decided that it was a good idea to rant to his mother. Well, I heard about how hates his older brother, yet wants to experience the kind of wealth the brother has. Gran doesn’t look bothered, nor pleased with the subject, but I don’t want to butt in especially it’s family affair.
I go upstairs instead to let me ear rest for a while before I have to hear Han’s voice again. Walking inside the room I’m staying in, I peek out the window to see Baekhyun on a ladder leaning against the side of the house as he scoops leaves out of the roof gutter.
“Hey there, baby boy,” I lean my arms on the windowsill and give him a playful suggestive look because I know how annoyed he gets with the pet name.
He groans loudly and I can’t help but to laugh, “Stop with that weird crap, please!”
“What do you want me to call you then? Daddy?” I raise a brow at him before squinting my eyes to annoy him even more. Kidding aside, I just got goosebumps upon saying that word. No, nuh uh. Will never ever repeat that, ever, again.
“Ugh! Baby—”
“Mom! They’re not cleaning, they’re just flirtin’!”
I jump on my feet when Han’s loud voice and when I look over my shoulder, he’s standing there with a bowl of cereal that I bought with my own money.
In the background, we heard Gran yelling, “Leave them alone!”
I raise a brow to Han to piss him off and he threatens to hit me with a spoon. Baekhyun’s voice can be heard from outside the window while he scoops leaves out of the roof gutter. “Han, please don’t do that to my girlfriend.”
I plastered a smug face to Han because, even though he’s almost double the size of Baekhyun, the latter is surprisingly an expert in some kind of martial arts that instantly flew over my head the second I heard it. Was it wushu? Taekwondo? Karate? I don’t know... oh! Hapkido! I honestly don’t know anything about it, but—yey! Supportive girlfriend here.
Han scoffs before rolling his eyes. He then points the spoon to the boxes in the corner before walking out of the room, “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just clean this up.”
I truly want to say something back to him, but Baekhyun calls my name to calm me down, because he knows how much I get triggered when Han does this kind of shit. “Just leave the boxes there, baby. I’ll carry them down once I’m done here.”
“What am I going to do then?”
“Just stand there and look pretty for me,” he grins widely, the corner of his eyes crinkling in the process. Although I roll my eyes at him, I can’t hide the small smile on my lips that’s slowly spreading.
I ignore him and walk towards the boxes that have been left untouched, thus dusty, since I got here. Baekhyun once told me that Gran and her husband moved here more than a decade ago from their hometown to live a quiet life. But being the good parents they were, they still brought their sons’ pictures and memorabilia of them.
By the third box, I hold my breath since the surface is very dusty and I’ve been sneezing like crazy. And instead of helping me or anyone in the house, Han just sits in the living room while watching the television with his feet up on the table.
As I’m about to approach the back door by the kitchen, the bottom of the box gives up and the contents of the box scattered on the floor. Fortunately, I hear no breaking of glass, so I internally sigh in relief before groaning out loud, crouching down to pick them up.
“Need help back there?” I hear Han ask from the living room.
“I mean, if you have a kind heart within you, why not?” I respond sarcastically that earns a hearty laugh from him.
We start picking up the items and they’re mostly framed pictures and a few documents. The last time to be picked up is a picture frame facing the floor. My hand casually reaches out to it and even makes sure that the frame is still intact.
In a split second, my facial expression drops, and I can feel how my heart starts thumping almost loudly in my chest when I flipped the frame in my hand.
There is a photo of Gran and her husband with a young man in a graduation gown, seemingly fresh out of university, flashing a wide smile on his face for the camera.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Han interrupts my thoughts and I raise my head to look at him with wide eyes. “That’s my hyung. He’s not a ghost yet, but he’s dead to us.”
I can’t find words to say nor get any of my muscles to move. However, I did feel how my bottom lip trembles uncontrollably, and my breath becomes ragged. With all the energy left in me, I close my eyes and breathe through my nose, holding it for few seconds before exhaling heavily—a technique Baekhyun taught me to calm myself down in case I feel like my thoughts are winning against me.
“Oy—you okay?” I feel Han’s hand on my shoulder as he tries shaking me a little bit, and I nod my head a little bit.
I croak, “Y-yeah...”
Han looks hesitant, grabbing the frame out of my hands and settling it down on the counter, and does what he thinks is the best solution: call for his mother. “No, you’re not—Ma! C’mere! She’s not breathing!”
Even with my condition, I still found the strength to glare at him as he can definitely see that I’m still breathing, though heavily—almost hyperventilating.
Baekhyun obviously heard the commotion, and he arrives first, clumsily and almost tripped from how fast he ran. He pushes Han aside and holds my face in his hands. “Hey, baby... breathe, come on. Follow what I’m doing.” he starts breathing in pattern, showing the basic skill to live, slowly, so I’d be able to grasp.
My mouth starts getting numb and my body gets a bit heavier as well as my eyelid, but my mind is very much conscious that I know how Gran gasps loudly when she gets in the kitchen, seeing me in perhaps limp state.
“Hey—damn it!” Baekhyun shakes my body as he curses my name, trying to get my eyes open when they’re about to close. “Look at me, come on. Breathe, please—Han, get a paper bag or somethin’!”
Even with my eyes getting blurry, I’m still able to see Han looking so confused and unmoving on his feet. “H-huh—what for?”
“Just fuckin’ get it!” Baekhyun yells. And I think it’s the first time I’ve heard him cuss—well... except when we’re in bed, but that’s another story to tell.
Han hastily looks for one and hands it to Baekhyun. The latter immediately places it around my mouth and instructs me to breathe as he counts the seven second rule. I lift my eyelid to look Baekhyun in the eye as I try to normalize my breathing and he smiles at me when he notices I’m following him, and my muscle slowly relaxing and the tension is slowly fading away.
My hand finally raises to hold Baekhyun wrist that’s holding a paper bag on my mouth. I pull it away gently and he sighs in relief, pulling me in to kiss my cheek and wrapping his arms around my figure. I whisper an apology right to his ear and he just shakes his head, continuously caressing my back to give me much comfort I need.
Han also exhales loudly, holding a hand on his chest. “Phew! You scared me back there, kid.”
Gran also sighs in relief; her eyes are teary, and her hands clasp on her mouth, thanking heaven that I’m fine.
I send them both an apologetic smile before taking another look at the picture on the counter as I peek over Baekhyun’s broad shoulders.
He, the man in the picture, might looked younger but I know him very well. Those bright and hopeful eyes in the past have turned into dreadful pairs; the wide smile when he was young was now a scowl; his sun kissed skin had become pale and wrinkly. I’m bewildered that his once seemingly cheerful soul is now lifeless.
I may add one more reason to probability as why our he prefers Kyungsoo more than me. He really did look like him when he was his age.
It’s already evening, a few hours after the incident, and we are all seated in the living room. I’m at the end of the couch, coddled up in a blanket and leaning my head on Baekhyun’s shoulder, while Gran and Han sit on the armchair across from us.
The picture frame now sits on the coffee table in the middle of the living room as I stare at it, while the three of them still have no idea what happened earlier, and what’s going on right now.
“Dear?” Gran finally breaks the silence. I lift my head from the picture to look at her. She has the gentle smile she always wears, and my heart breaks when I’m starting to absorb all the details, I’ve gotten from the moment I arrived in this town up to now.
What are the odds of this happening? For real?
I put my feet down on the floor and raised my head from Baekhyun’s shoulder. I clutch the blanket on my lap so that my fingers start to turn white from how tight it is.
“Gran,” I had to swallow the lump in my throat so that I wouldn’t cry by uttering only one word. Baekhyun places a hand on my back and that’s more than enough encouragement for me to continue. I point my index finger to the frame on the coffee table, “That—that man is your eldest son?”
Before Gran can even open her mouth to answer, Han clicks his tongue impatiently, “What’s this all about?”
I decided to ignore him, focusing on Gran who looks lost for the first time I met her. “Gran...” I bit my bottom lip, fighting back the tears that were threatening to roll down my face. “When you saw me at the train station... did you recognize who I was?”
That makes Gran narrow her eyes as she recalls the day she approached me. She then shakes her head slowly. “No, dear. Your face was unfamiliar, and you really did look like a tourist as I remember.”
I nod my head, acknowledging her answer, before stating my full name out loud, making the three of them confused as ever. I extend my hand to reach out for the picture and shows it to her and Han.
“And this man,” I sniff, pursing my lips before plastering a half-smile in Gran’s direction, “is my father.”
The next morning, I’m awoken by the birds chirping outside the window and my head laid on Baekhyun lap while his fingers comb my hair. He’s sitting up on the air mattress and blankly looking ahead of him.
“Hey,” I call out to him, and he instantly snaps out of his trance. “Did you sleep?”
“Good morning,” he bends his upper body to give my lips a quick kiss before returning to his previous position. He shrugs his shoulders, chuckling weakly. “I tried but couldn’t.”
Guilt crashes through me when he said that. Now I doubt any of them fell asleep. But I did. Like a log. Which should be surprising owing to the fact that two months ago, I needed alcohol to fall into slumber.
Last night, Gran was speechless, and she told everyone to discuss things tomorrow since it had been a long day for all of us. Han was quite useless if you may ask me, though let’s spare him for now as he really looked beyond shock yesterday.
Baekhyun had to call to say that he wouldn’t make it to work last night and stayed with me. Hence, I sleep like a baby.
My mind is running thousand kilometers per hour again, and I almost jolted out of bed to look for the family picture taken when I was in middle school that’s been hidden inside my wallet just in case they might think I’m just playing with them. But someone knock on the door and Han’s voice speaks on the other side, “We’ll be downstairs.”
Baekhyun and I quickly wash up before dragging ourselves back downstairs where we left off last night. However, contrary to my expectation, that Gran would still looks gloomy like last night, she’s back into her cheerful self, setting the table with pancakes, eggs and bacon—wait, is that Han in an apron?
Gran then holds my hand and makes me sit, and I look at Baekhyun who looks dumbfounded as I am. He shrugs his shoulders before taking the seat right beside me.
Remembering that I brought with me the photo I’ve been keeping in my wallet, I fish it out from the pocket of the shorts I’m wearing, handing it to Gran who freezes for a second before accepting the photo.
Gran's eyes become teary as she smiles sadly, placing a hand to cover her mouth before walking towards Han to show him the photo. She walks back to hug my head on her chest, dropping a kiss on my hair. “I only dreamt of meeting my grandchild.”
Han made fun of me throughout breakfast on how I looked ugly crying, and of course, the braces I had back in middle school. Gran is so happy that she wouldn’t let go of my hand and ask about Kyungsoo whom I was thin thread close on forgetting.
“He sucks, Gran,” I casually respond, sipping my OJ. “But he’s smart, so you’ll be proud of him, nonetheless.”
The three of them laugh out loud at what I said, and I can’t stop smiling from how my heart is full by this sight. Gran and Han asked questions about my childhood, but mostly it’s just Gran and Han would just butt in to get on my nerves. He may be my uncle, but it will never erase the bond we created at the first place to piss each other off.
“Uh-oh,” Han suddenly said, looking at Baekhyun with a mischievous grin on his face. “What are you going to do, Byun?”
Baekhyun’s expression instantly drops, and his eyes widen in realization that I can’t understand. “Shit.”
“What?” I ask Baekhyun to look for an answer, but he looks like he’s contemplating his twenty-four years of living. Then I turn to Han when I get nothing from my boyfriend. “What the hell is happening?”
However, Han just gives me an innocent smile, raising his mug with his pinky lifted in the air.
“Gran?” I desperately ask the last person who might explain to me what Han meant.
The poor lady shakes her head at those two men, before turning to me. “Baekhyun here got carried away when your father tried to bribe people to sell their land to him. The two of them may or may have not exchanged nasty words.”
I gape at Baekhyun who’s ready to apologize but turns baffled when a grin slowly shows on my face. “Oh, shoot! It’s an early karma for my dad! Like, you probably know what’s going to happen and took an early revenge.”
Baekhyun looks at me like another head grew on my neck, totally taken aback. “What...”
Han’s laughter booms around the house that I swear the walls shook when he did. “No need for DNA test. You're really your father’s daughter.”
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” I huff, scowling at him.
“Byun, just a warning—run while you still can.”
“HEY!”
After all the commotion, Gran asks me to go to the living room to discuss something important. She specifically told Han and Baekhyun to leave us alone in the house since we both know the two have them have the tendency to eavesdrop.
“My dear...” Gran reaches out for my hand, giving it a gentle pat. “I’m so glad you’re here. I still can’t believe the miracle that just happened. Your dad... he—”
Gran shakes her head before sighing deeply. “You might notice that your Pop-pop and I were not present in your life. Your dad used to be a kind-hearted soul, gentle and loving son to us. But money took those traits of him away. I can count in my hands the time I’ve talked to your father since he moved out. He became estranged and even got married without us knowing.
“Before you or your brother came, we visited him in the city from our hometown, in hopes that we could at least grab lunch with our son. What we didn’t expect was for him to be embarrassed at the sight of two old people from the countryside. He didn’t shame us publicly, but he did tell us to stop seeing him, especially in his work.”
A tear escapes my eye before rolling down my cheek when I heard how my dad treated his own parents. I know I’m not close with him myself, but I can’t see myself sending old people who would travel hours just to see me. What the fuck, dad?
“He did send money through his secretary,” Gran continues, smiling sadly, “saying that it should be enough and there’s no need for us to bother him in person. Your Pop-pop got really angry with your dad and threw his secretary out of the house when he came by to drop a check.
“That’s why we moved here, to stay away from our eldest son’s radar. Sadly, he didn’t even bother to look for us. And I believe Baekhyun already told you about the story when he found out we live here.”
Despite my sorrow, I purse my lips and close my eyes, ashamed that we’re caught in act gossiping about other people’s lives.
Gran chuckles, leaning forward to caress my cheeks. “You have your father’s eyes, my dear. Don’t let the kindness in you be gone, okay? For your Gran?”
I lean on her palm, smiling widely before nodding my head. “I won’t, I promise.”
She nods in approval, dropping a quick peck on my forehead. “Now, I know your father threw you out of his house, but he’s still your father, dear. You��ve been away for two months. He’s worried.”
My shoulders quickly drop, realizing that she’s right, at the same time, I’m scared that they’re not even looking for me, and probably celebrating that the nuisance of the family is out of the house. “I don’t know, Gran...”
“My dear... your Pop-pop used to cry at night worrying about your dad, if he was eating well, or if he was safe having big names as his competitors.” Gran says, encouraging me to be a bigger person. “I’m not going to stop you if you want to stay here. You’re more than welcome, you know that. But for your beloved Pop-pop's sake, please at least let your dad know where you are and that you’re safe. He might’ve been cruel, but he’s still a father. But I will not deny how disappointed I am about the slap you mentioned. And if he doesn’t want you, as I’ve said, you have me... you have us here. And if you want to finish your studies, I’ll help you.”
I think about it for a few seconds, coming to realization that Gran’s word makes sense. I let him down and he doesn’t want to see me, he made that clear, it won’t hurt if I let him know that I accidentally travelled five hours away from the city, meeting my paternal grandmother who turns out to be the sweetest and kindest soul that made my inner child feel loved and cared for.
I know I said before that no matter what happens, I will still finish my undergrad in the city. But do I really want to go back to the city? If you’d ask me two months ago, or even a month ago, I’d answer yes in a heartbeat, but now... I don’t know anymore.
Gran is here. She’s old, and I truly want to be with her, take care of her. I’m being realistic when I think about the years she only has left. And I want to make up for the years my dad, her son, wasn’t around to be spend time with them. Gran and Pop-pop's children were too busy growing up that they didn’t realize how their parents are growing old too... and now Pop-pop's gone. I want to be there for Gran.
And Baekhyun. The person who taught me that love can be golden, and not black and white.
We might have had a bad start, but for the short time we’ve been together, he made me feel something I’ve never felt before. He listens to my thoughts, understands my sentiments, and has never judged my past. He makes sure that I won’t feel alone in this world anymore by his words and actions. “You have me—you will always have me. You don’t have to be afraid anymore. I will always be by your side.”
When night comes, I’m left alone in the room I’ve been using for a little over two months now. I finally have my phone that’s been left untouched since then. The charger is plugged as I gather courage before holding the power button.
When the familiar logo on the screen lights up, my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest, and when I confirm my pin on the lock screen, my hands start to get clammy. I set the phone down and watch the number of messages coming in as minutes go by.
Some of them are from my former friends in university that I don’t bother to read the preview and scroll down further on my inbox. Most of the messages are from Kyungsoo, asking my whereabouts, spamming me with concern questions, frantically searching for me since none of his friends or my so-called friends don’t have any idea nor have seen me since I left home. He mentioned in his messages repeatedly: Where are you? / Do you need money? / I’ll send you money if you need it. / Mom and dad are worried sick. / Call me, please.
But a particular message makes me cry in an instant as soon as I see whom it was from.
I hope you’re safe and eating well. Dad | Received 11:07 PM
I’m sorry. Please come home. Dad | Received 5:06 AM
Gran is right. No matter what, he’s still a father. My thumb hovers the call icon on the upper right corner of the screen, closing my eyes and swiping left instead, making the screen go back to list of messages and tap the one with my brother’s name on it.
It rings three times before I heard his voice on the other line. “What the fu—where are you? Please tell me you’re still alive.”
“You’re smart and dumb at the same time. How can I make a call if I’m dead?” I chuckle, though shakily as I couldn’t stop sobbing after hearing Kyungsoo’s voice for a long time. “I—I’m okay... I’m sorry for making you all worry.”
“Are you still in the country?”
I nod my head then remember that he can’t see me. “I am.” And I had to stop myself from saying: I only had a hundred bucks when dad threw me out. What country can I afford? Republic of Poverty? Thank goodness I realize that it’s inappropriate to get sassy with him at this moment.
I heard rustling of sheets from his line and I’m guessing he’s getting out of bed. “Where are you? I’ll come get you.”
“I—” I can’t stop choking a sob, leaning the side of my head on my palm as I cry. “I don’t want to go back, Kyungsoo.”
“Huh—what?! Wait, let me get dad and mom.” Then followed loud steps he takes as he strides to where our parents are. There was a commotion on their side, and I heard my mom shrieking, “Oh, my God!”
“Sweetheart?” It’s my dad’s voice, and I haven’t heard him call me any endearment since elementary. “A-are you okay? Please tell me you’re somewhere safe...”
I snivel, wiping my tear-soaked face with the hem of my shirt. “I’m okay... I’m okay—I’m sorry, dad. I’m so sorry.”
“Hey—shh... it’s okay.” My dad hushes on the other line, and my mom’s crying can be heard in the background as well, chanting a very soft, “Where is she? Where’s my baby?”
“Tell me where you are, sweetheart. I’ll come get you.” And I heard Kyungsoo saying that he’ll come too. “We’ll come get you. We’ll be okay.”
“I—” I take a deep trembling breath before continuing, reminding myself what Gran told me. “I’m here at Gran’s.”
There’s a pause on the line before my dad asks, “Where?”
“I’m here at your mother’s, dad. Gran. She’s been taking care of me for the past two months. It’s a long story, but we just found out recently that we’re related.”
“You—you’re at my mother’s place?”
“Yes,” I answer firmly, deciding to let him know about my plan. “And I want to stay here with her.”
This time, it took him almost a minute to answer. I’m biting my nails in anticipation about what he’s going to say, however, all I know is my decision is final.
“Go get some sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
The next morning, when my dad said we’d talk, I thought that another call would come in, or I would have to call them back. However, when Han came knocking at Gran’s front door during breakfast to inform us that he’s here along with my mom and Kyungsoo, I wanted to hide somewhere, realizing that I’m not ready to see them as I was expecting myself to be.
I’m engulfed in a hug by my mom as soon as she comes in the door, and my dad following behind her. He looks like he’s fighting back tears, pursing his lips while he raises his hand to pat my head.
However, his demeanor fails him when Gran walking in the entrance of her house, smiling sadly at his son, my dad, who instantly breaks in tears before walking towards his mother for a hug. I lost count of how many times he apologized to Gran, and when he pulls away, he says, “Thank you for taking care of my daughter.”
Having no physical affection for my brother growing up, I stand in front of him awkwardly with a twisted face. “Do we need to hug as well?”
Kyungsoo scoffs, shaking his head with the corner of his mouth curve up in a small smile. “You fucking moron—” he pulls me to him, wrapping his arm tightly around my body. “I was so worried about you. I’m so sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have said those words when I didn’t mean it.”
I return his hug, burying my face on his shoulder as I cry. “I’m sorry too. And thank you for offering to send me money, I really appreciate it.”
He laughs out loud as he pulls away, giving the side of my head a playful smack. “From all of the things I texted you, that was the only thing you remember.”
I grin widely, “Of course.”
There was a long catch up with the family, more specifically Gran and his two sons. My dad and Han finally sat down and talked by themselves in the living room, while my mom and Gran chatted in the living room.
I brought Kyungsoo to the barn behind the house, letting him meet my fellas for the past two months and I can’t help but smile that he is enjoying feeding them. Never in my life had I imagined I’d see my brother carrying a bucket of chicken feed while throwing them on the ground with his bare hand.
I was smiling while I watch Kyungsoo do the things he’s unfamiliar with when I’m suddenly lifted from the ground and spined twice. The strong grip around my waist is too familiar for me not to know who it is, and to think that there’s only one person who’s been doing this to me.
“Good morning, baby,” before I can even react, Baekhyun places his mouth on mine for a chaste kiss. And if it isn’t for the burning gaze at the back of my head, I’ll return his kiss with the same fondness.
And I guess Baekhyun realizes that because he pulls away with a scowl. I raise my brows to him, silently telling him about Kyungsoo behind me. Fortunately, he got the message, and his eyes followed where I’m referring to.
“Oh, hi there,” Baekhyun casually greets Kyungsoo with a nod of his head. He then turns to me, “Gran’s guest?”
“Uh...” I peek over my shoulder just to see Kyungsoo’s squinting his eyes on me. He knew what I’ve been doing in the city, and words won’t be enough to explain how much he hates it and rats on me every single time. Though, I’m praying that he’s not seeing Baekhyun in a different light and thinks that he’s a one-time thing while I’m here in this town.
Then I turn to Baekhyun with an awkward smile, “Yes...? Some sort, but he’s also my older brother.”
I watch how my boyfriend’s face turns into horror, facing Kyungsoo with wide eyes. I haven’t told him about the phone call since he had work last night and stayed the night at their house since his mom needed him for something.
“My parents are also inside the house—but hey!” I try to break the tension with a laugh, clapping my hands in the process, “I’d like you to meet Kyungsoo, he’s my older brother. Kyungsoo, this is Baekhyun, my boyfriend.”
Kyungsoo looks at me weirdly, like he’s not expecting me to say the word: boyfriend. And I roll my eyes at him, nudging my brows to Baekhyun’s directly to tell: Yes, he’s my boyfriend. Shake his hand or I’ll break yours.
Fortunately, they did introduce themselves in a civil manner. Although my worry leaned towards my brother who’s been up my butt since we were kids, however, Baekhyun must really have charm over people, and they look like they are having a decent conversation.
When my dad and Baekhyun faced each other after their infamous heated argument back then, I thought I was going to pee my pants. Dad didn’t look so happy that I’m dating Baekhyun, but my mom did look surprised yet happy that I settled into a real relationship with someone. She got too excited and babbled, “Are you guys thinking about marriage?”
And the horror on all our faces, especially my dad who’s about to burst, but I’m grateful he didn’t say any insult to the person I care about romantically.
Han nudges my dad’s arm with his elbow, and I still can’t believe that the two of them are on talking terms again after the story I’ve heard here and there. “Hey, hyung, I know you don’t trust my judgement, but I can vouch for Byun right here. He’s a good guy and I never see him hurting your daughter. The opposite actually. He’s been taking care of her from morning to night since day one.”
I send Han a grateful smile, and I glance at Baekhyun to see he’s doing the same. Han may be a jerk at times, likes getting on our nerves, but I’m really, really glad he appreciates and doesn’t turn blind eye at Baekhyun’s effort.
Gran nods her head in agreement, “Yes, Baekhyun here never left her side even though they didn’t get along at first.”
I look at Gran with huge eyes, and she smiles at me innocently. She could’ve left the last part out. Seriously.
“Sir, may I tell you something?” Baekhyun chimes in and all attention turns to him. My leg bounces anxiously while I wait for his next words. “I’m in love with your daughter, and I respect your opinion as her father. But I will still stand with what I’ve said two years ago.”
Han closes his eyes, palming his face. “You could’ve stopped with you respect him as your girlfriend’s father, you fuckin’ idiot.”
I peek over my lashes to see Baekhyun’s expression. I’ve never seen him so serious, firm and... he kind of looks hot. What the hell am I thinking?
But wait! Did he just say he’s in love with me? Wait—what?! My eyes that are ogling at him go wide as saucer and a squeal threatens to escape my throat.
“You don’t have to worry,” my dad finally speaks, having the same expression as Baekhyun. “I will not go stand between you and my daughter.”
And I almost laugh out loud when all of us sigh in relief, even Kyungsoo looks like a ton of weights have been lifted off his shoulder.
“But you, young lady,” he continues, pointing a finger to my direction. “I understand that you found someone here, but is that enough reason you don’t want to go back and finish your degree?”
“Huh? What—you’re not dropping out!” And now it’s my turn to get the attention. I jut my bottom lip to Baekhyun who looks visibly upset.
“Okay! Who wants to help me make lunch—I think everyone. Come with me to the kitchen!” Gran cuts the tension between us, and all of them immediately stand up, except for my brother who looks interested in the conversation that’s about to happen. If it’s not for our mom who had to pull him by his arm forcefully.
Baekhyun opens his mouth, but I stop him before he can say anything. “Okay—first of all, I want to stay here with Gran. I’m not dropping out because of you.”
He scoffs, running his fingers through his hair. A habit of his when he’s annoyed. “You’re not a good liar, you know?”
I open and close my mouth several times before settling with a sigh, defeated. “Okay, you’re right. Gran’s part of it though. So, don’t get full of yourself.”
“Baby—” he groans, ruffling his hair this time, and he sounds so frustrated. “This is such a bad timing to say, but I love you. I really love you, that means I want the best for you.”
I whimper when I finally hear the three words no one has ever told me. “Baekhyun, I—” I inhaled sharply, “I love you too. And you are part of the reason why I don’t want to leave this town. I now don’t know how not to be with you. Please...”
He had to close his eyes when look at him with tears running down my face. “Please don’t cry.”
“You dropped out of college and turns out just fine, why can’t I—”
“No, I did not turn out just that,” he grits his teeth and realizes how strong his reaction was, so he reaches out for my hands and holds them. “I—I have to juggle several jobs a day to make ends meet. I may be fine with it but for you, my love, I want nothing but the best.”
“But—”
“I know you’re capable, I’ve seen you since you arrived here. You’re the one who said before you don’t want to drop out, and I’m asking you to honor your words,” he drops a kiss to my knuckles then on the corner of my mouth. “And I’m not breaking up with you if that’s what you’re assuming. I’ll always be here, I told you that. Just one year. If you still want to be here, then I will not stop you. And if you decide that you’ll stay in the city, and God forbid, with a new hot guy, then I’ll support you.”
I chuckle at the last part of his sentence, “But you’ll cry if that happens, right?”
“I’ll cry, drink until I vomit, and ogle at someone’s cleavage.”
“Hey!” I smack his chest with my fist, and he laughs, pulling me to his chest before wrapping his arms around my body, kissing my temple afterwards.
“So, one year?”
I contemplate for almost a minute, before pulling away a little just to look at him in the eyes. “We’ll still see each other, right?”
Baekhyun nods his head, displaying a gentle smile on his face. “If time permits, I’ll go to you. And if you have nothing going on, you can come here. We can also Facetime every day if you want.”
I try to say something funny about Facetiming every day but realizing that I won’t be physically with him every day saddens me. Baekhyun’s been my light and I’ll be stepping out to the world again without him this time. It scares me, but for him, I’ll do it.
I cried until nighttime that day. My family left me alone with him, knowing that we’d be separated in a few days. He held me close and made love until the soft rays of light peeked through the windows. Keeping our mouths on each other while chanting our love to one another.
“I love you.” We said to each other with a last kiss for a while.
It’s different now.
My life has turned a hundred and eighty degrees since I came back to the city. I can’t remember the last time I drank alcohol or the last time I lit up a cigarette.
I’ve been eating dinner with my parents and brother, telling each other’s day and just catching up, or ranting if someone’s day had been difficult.
I also got part-time jobs here and there, earning my own money instead of being too reliant on my dad’s credit card. I don’t even use it anymore. I’ve also been hanging out around people who make me a good person and forgetting the people whom I used to know.
Coming out clean to my family about my struggle with my thoughts, I also started going to therapy and they’re supportive of it... of me.
And yes, you might wonder where he is. Well, you see—
I’m just kidding. Baekhyun and I are doing great. He’s been visiting at least twice a month, and I go to visit the town when I have a long weekend. Though our time together is short unlike before, we always make the best out of it. You name it, dates, sleeping in, or you know, it’s me we’re talking about so sex will never leave the conversation when it comes to our relationship.
Gran also visits, specifically on special occasions and holidays. The three of them travelled to the city for my birthday, and it’s going to be my favorite for a long time.
When Christmas came, Kyungsoo and I went to visit the town since our parents had made prior arrangements months ago, hence they were unable to cancel. We decorated the Christmas tree and received allowance from Gran and our uncle, Han.
We’ve come to an agreement that it was the most fun Christmas we had in our entire life.
Time flies so fast that I didn’t realize graduation was approaching right around the corner. My dad sat me down to discuss my decision and assured me that whatever it might be, he’d support me.
I told him that it didn’t change. He smiled and told me that he was expecting it. He then proceeded to discuss his plan to help. He said that I could reject his offer, but he’d be happy if I accepted it.
I immediately got into a call with Gran, telling him about Dad’s plan to invest in Agriculture in the town instead of building hotels and resorts. Gran asked me about my thoughts on it, and I told her that it could help locals get more sources of income, and the focus would be on them.
Gran sounded so happy and agreed. I didn’t understand why she kept thanking me, but when she said, “You changed everything for the better,” I bawled my eyes out.
After graduation, I told Baekhyun that I’d be staying in the city for a week to think. You know... because it wouldn’t be me if I’d boringly tell him I’d stay for good in town.
I almost told him that when he looked visibly sad during our daily Facetime, but I’m glad I held my ground.
It was only five in the morning when I arrived. I drop my things at Gran’s and hop on my cruise bicycle to his basement, my face getting hit by the once unfamiliar but now loved cold breeze when the sun hasn’t risen yet.
With the spare key in my pocket that he had given me, I open the door and see his silhouette sleeping soundly in his twin-sized bed. I remove my shoes before closing the door behind me. I slowly walk to the other side of the bed, trying not to wake him up as I lift the blanket and sneak beside him... Baekhyun.
But my efforts went in vain when he groaned and lifted his head. His eyes look droopy as he stares at me confusedly. “Love?”
I grin at him, leaning to kiss his lips. “I’m home.”
The surprised look on his face makes the dimmed basement brighter. He hugs me tightly and kisses parts of my face repeatedly. “Welcome home, my love.”
Yes, home...
This is my home now. He is my home.
And it’s brighter now.
#baekhyun#baekhyun smut#baekhyun fluff#baekhyun scenario#baekhyun angst#baekhyun x reader#baekhyun imagine#exo#exo smut#exo imagines#exo fanfic#baekhyun fanfic#exo scenarios
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Human Trafficking affects many lives and is really bad
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happy anniversary to "Traffic Jam" (トラフィック・ジャム) by Niru Kajitsu (煮ル果実) / NILFRUITS! this song came out 5 years ago today.
video by Akashi | youtube upload | august 25th, 2024.
[Image description: A screenshot from the official music video for "Traffic Jam". It depicts two characters from the Traffic Light Series, Flurry & Welter, standing in front of the camera. Flurry is looking to the side, while Welter is looking straight at the camera. The background is yellow and black striped. Overlayed is large white handwritten text that reads the english title of the song. End image description.]
#♫ — posts#— producers:#nilfruits#Niru Kajitsu#煮ル果実#— voicebanks:#flower#vocaloid#— other:#traffic light series
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Daily update post:
Navigation apps in Israel were instructed not to sure traffic jams anymore, so Hamas and Hezbollah terrorists won't be able to aim rockets at them.
The Minister of Defense made it clear that every benefit, support and compensation for the bereaved families of the Oct 7 massacre will apply to same-sex families, too.
Among Hamas' victims in the massacre are 235 people with non-Israeli nationality, an additional 74 are categorized as missing (meaning it's still unknown if they've been murdered or kidnapped), and they come from 41 countries. This includes at least 30 people murdered from Thailand, 10 from Nepal and 6 from China, at least some of them were beheaded.
Please explain to me how does beheading a student from Nepal help liberate any Palestinian, or why were non-Israelis butchered if the massacre was supposedly "resistance" against Israel?
The Israeli president revealed that among the documents recovered from Hamas terrorists were instructions from Al-Qaeda on how to build a weapon with cyanide.
This demonstrates how Hamas has been learning from other extremist Islamist organizations. They also adopted ISIS' use of the drug captagon to prevent a sense of fear in the terrorists, heighten their feelings of rage, as well as keep them going for longer. All of this (together with multiple reports that Hamas brought weapons for far more than just one day of slaughter) indicates that, while the massacre is the worst to have happened in the history of the Israeli-Arab conflict, what Hamas had in mind was probably even worse.
Israel screened today for foreign journalists 40 minutes of raw footage showing the massacre, most of it from Hamas terrorists' body cameras. Here is the full thread of one journalist, about some of the horrors seen in it. I'll share just one part of the thread, because I think #8 is really important:
The Israeli army has been releasing aerial photos showing how Hamas intentionally places its rocket launching sites next to civilians, so that either Israel is deterred from firing at these, to stop the rocket launching at civilians in Israel, or so that civilian Gazans will be harmed when Israel does act against these targets. For context, the Gaza strip DOES have uninhabited parts, where rocket launching would not endanger any civilians at all.
Today, Hamas has sent two attack drones and Hezbollah has sent one. The latter was flown and attacked from the direction of the sea.
An Israeli lawyers NGO has filed at the Hague to put Hamas and the Palestinian Islamic Jihad on trial for crimes against humanity.
Another personal story, this time of Atallah, a little Arab Bedouin boy whose father was told that, for being Israeli Arabs, they're more Jewish than Jews (and therefore legitimate targets to Hamas):
(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
#israel#israeli#israel news#israel under attack#israel under fire#israelunderattack#terrorism#anti terrorism#antisemitism#hamas#antisemitic#antisemites#jews#jew#judaism#jumblr#frumblr#jewish
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@amtrak-official why doesn't amtrak have cute posters like this explaining simply the facts of life when trains are embraced and traffic jams avoided.
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Good Fences (Fluffuary #15)
FEB15: Sharing Food
You couldn’t remember whose idea the house party was originally, but after celebrating at the bar, you went home with way more than just your squadron of highly accomplished soldiers. Your apartment was filled to the brim with people; Cana’s friends, her acquaintances, and even her professors were littering your quaint abodes, clutching red solo cups and beer bottles, traveling to and fro between the houses through the front doors.
They would have been traversing along the balcony, but John had declared it officially off-limits. He dragged your space heater outside, wrapped you in two furry blankets, and sat with you in the big futon you’d bought recently, cuddling with you in the wee morning hours, smoking his cigar and rubbing his hand across your shoulder absent-mindedly.
In the background, loud music played from your speakers, and someone had obviously connected their Spotify account because the jams were perpetual. It was all muffled, though, dampened by the glass wall between you and the din, sheltering you from the party’s raucousness.
Every now and then, a friend would poke their head out to deliver gossip, drama, questions, or more alcohol. This time though, the door slid open and Johnny drunkenly stumbled out onto the balcony, two drinks in hand, holding a bowl of oranges.
He didn’t say a word to you. Swaying, moving his weight from one foot to the next as if he were on a rickety pirate ship, he smiled as he looked down at the bowl. Awkwardly, and then a little more skillfully, he plucked out two oranges, handing them to his captain who fit them both in his huge paw.
You both watched Johnny stagger his way back into the house, silent as a mime, and heard him shut the door with a squeaky whine.
You looked up at John for guidance, and he looked over at you for the same. Strangely, he smiled, and he also stayed silent. You’d been chatting off and on, but it was as if he didn’t want to break the lull. There was something sacred and soft about it. The traffic had died down, and there was only the boisterous bacchanal behind you.
Before you, however, was an infinite, sparkling, black blanket of stars. They glittered, red and gold and silver, all dusting the glass of your little globe, showing you the vastness of space you’d never be able to comprehend. But, they made you feel just as infinite, somehow… especially when you were with John.
He made you feel as if you may have known him in every universe. In every version of every world — both good and bad, both ancient and unprecedented — he found you. He sought you out, or you sought him. Searching for him like a woman possessed; exploring your life and turning over every rock and stone to find him. It was as if Lachesis herself had knotted you together, keeping you twined to one another, helping you to avoid her sister’s shears.
And now, here he was, in this universe. This was the timeline where he hid you from the revel, kept you safe and all to himself, where he dug his fingernail into the tight, waxy skin of an orange to dig out its flesh, feeding you the dripping, sticky lobe as if it were his purpose. The juice ran down his wide thumb and into the pad of his palm, but he paid it no heed. Instead, he waited patiently for your lips to close around his offering, and only when you were satisfied did he lick himself clean.
You shared the fruit with him and, when he was done, you tasted it in his mouth as he began to kiss you with an intense hunger. It lingered with his smoke on your tongue, and the memory of that flavor became permanent in you like a scar.
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