#Trader Psychology
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i genuinely love love love the iconoclast path in rogue trader SO MUCH. its one of the things that ultimately enamors me to the warhammer franchise as a whole despite empathy being so antithetical to its world and genre. its not just because iconoclast is the Nice Person route or because it subverts the foundational principle that In The Grim Dark Universe There Is Only War............ but mostly i love it because its the best way to actually engage w the morality system presented in 40k and explore it the way it deserves to be explored. its so unique parsing through the choices of the game and navigating how one might actually ACHIEVE goodness through - or more accurately without - the lens of liberal modern morality. because adhering to what we presently would call morality is arguably crueler than some of the dogmatic choices - or at least the game wants you to reflect on that and decide if that kind of morality still has value or not. and i like that they give you the opportunity to do that. youre rarely rewarded for kindness in this game and in fact your oftentimes actively punished for it (void shadows was a TRIAL for my iconoclast rt) which presents another question: are you being good because of a reward you believe you'lll be entitled to, or are you being good for the sake of goodness itself??? in saying that i do LOVE how there IS payoff in the iconoclast route eventually - when youve bleed and suffered for it enough. but theres a quality to it thats so..... so BITTERSWEET, because yippee you Empathed your way to the top - but also what IS the top?? congratulations, you are the kindest autocrat in the most bloodthirsty fascist regime in human history, sitting on your throne on a voidship run by all your slaves and serfs who die by the hundreds every time you make a warpjump for some dumbass sidequest. what the fuck. can you actually call that goodness ????? is whatever goodness-adjacent thing youve achieved worth it even if you cant change the system in the ways that matter ??? lastly - the iconoclast ending is both so wildly universe-altering to the point of feeling like a heretical ending - but also kind of. not mattering really lol. because even though its hopeful, the "good" ending still feels soooo tentative with the likelihood that its very likely not going to last. but that in itself is my favorite take away from playing this game as The Last Good Guy in the Galaxy: because the love DIDNT change anything. and it DOESNT save anyone. but ohhhhhhhhh my fucking god does it absolutely matter that it was there.
#tay plays rogue trader#rogue trader#im sure smarter people than me have covered all of this in detail many times but man. man..........#i genuinely could talk about the morality of warhammer endlessly and i literally have the most beginner-level understanding of the lore lol#i do want to pick up some of the books eventually but it is soooo daunting not knowing where to start#and it also feels like. idk. rogue trader was made for the girls and gays but i feel like i wont necessarily feel that same connection w#other material made primarily for male audiences.#ANYWAY. GOD. SORRY. THIS GAME..................#one more deeply obnoxious point to really end this mess on a high note: this game on an iconoclast route really does feel#like the solas dragonage simulator. esp iconoclast centered with a point or two in dogmatic#i do believe solas was experiencing 40k-esque psychological horror during the war of the evanuris#and if i didnt sympathize with him before i certainly do now
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Hiccup was a runt, the most awkward, frailest guy around. He was created with the intent of being someone who's different from everyone else; both in his design and story. Someone who's weak around people who value strenght, someone who befriends dragons while others want to kill them. Hiccup makes up for his physical weakness with compassion and trying to bring peace to both sides.
Which is why in his every iteration after the first movie (+ ROB); Hiccup is a 6'1, modern beauty standart who can easily beat everyone in combat no matter how more build or/and experienced they are, unless the writers decide they need to higher the stakes, or they have other characters fight the enemy for him.
#the bit about him beating anyone easily is mostly reffering to the third movie#It's also why i heavily dislike astrid in thw. although for slightly different reasons#thw astrid is a shallow girlboss trope of a pretty girl who stomps everyone around her but has to follow conventional beauty standart -#- of not having any muscles. because 'women who are muscular can't be feminine and pretty'#the other bit is about trader johann. him and viggo are like the only ones who were ever allowed to actually get a hit on hiccup#the last is refering to drago#no you don't understand how pissed i was at seeing hiccup in thw just ragdolling everyone#not to mention the same guy who's advocating for peace for both sides just set a whole ship of soldiers on fire??#they could've used the kratos psychology “it's moral to kill something if it tries to kill you first” there#but no every human except berkians is evil and killing is cool when the protagonists do it#hiccup#hiccup haddock#httyd#httyd 2#httyd 3#rtte#httyd criticism#how to train your dragon#how to train your dragon: the hidden world#hiccup you'll always be the short awkward little thing who looks like the wind will blow him away to me <3#they took all character design swag from the protagonists and gave it to the villains
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Praise the Omnissiah! Bask in the divine light of His comprehension!
#put spikes on all your shit!#warhammer rogue trader#pasqal haneumann#pasqal rogue trader#i am SO happy i got a combination amarnat-pasqal and mr the arkifane ending. fucking fantastic you ethically abhorrent tech priest#i have so many thoughts about him. i have so many thoughts about him#pasqal proves that you can go through immense physical psychological trauma#along with intense memory and identity issues. and come out the other side of it stronger!!!#by the powers of thinly veiled heresy and proclaiming yourself a god!!!!
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I feel like I'm subconsciously working out a post looking at most of the Heinrix/RT romances from the lens of Jungian psychology thing and why this one hits me so hard. So I'll just jot down some thoughts and see where this lands.
The gist of it is that it's the ultimate story of recovering the anima and animus, of becoming whole. It all starts with seeing what you have repressed in yourself in someone else - for Heinrix it starts with mercy and femininity in the Jungian sense (not femininity as painting nails, but things like mercy, receptivity and fluidity) which he has had to completely ban from himself but sees in the femRT. (Except you never destroy parts of you, you stash them far away and they do their thing inside until they come out).
Falling in love, that sort of intense flash of recognition in the beginning, is what happens when a partner becomes a good receptacle for the projection of the qualities you have not been allowed to develop. Side note, when Jung wrote, gender roles were very rigid and the emotional, fluid, feminine was for women, and men were the active, solid, expansive, today this is different but I use feminine / masculine like this. The repressed feminine part of men is called the anima and the repressed masculine part of women is called the animus.
One of the big selling points that hooked me on the Heinrix romance is how vulnerable he is - not weak though. You only gain access to his feelings as you grow closer and "succeed" in the romance. He is also capable as a fighter and interrogator though kept in the dark by his boss. For those who wonder what weak would look like, it would be same back story but not being capable like he is. Making it as a psyker and acolyte has required immense sacrifice and strength. Afaik he's a quite clear animus-coded character.
Calcazar represents some sort of super-ego, extremely strict, villainous, and who will not hesitate to sacrifice you. Same way too harsh parents or societies will have you maim your own personality to survive them.
Then we have the femRT, your self-insert. The fact that what she gets to develop is compassion and nurturance towards that repressed shell of a man, which in turn gives him control over his destiny, I think that's what hit so well and is a universal theme.
I think this triangle exists in the inner life of most people, where a sort of super intendant, a critical parent, society or environment, has hurt the psyche. Here we get to reconcile the parts of the self, and through the power of mercy and compassion, not unlike Ghibli movies. Nobody is a pushover that desperately needs rescuing, but the femRT can make Heinrix from someone essentially amputated of a part of his personality into a whole individual - this mirrors a process that a lot of people have to go through, where you must reconcile different aspects of you, including what has been deemed unlikeable. Helping Heinrix find himself is helping you grab that part of yourself and show it love and mercy.
#rogue trader crpg#warhammer rogue trader#heinrix van calox#heinrix romance#heinrix x rogue trader#just some thoughts#ended up with a whole essay#feel free to disagree#basic bitch understanding of Jungian psychology
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actually the thing about fitz was that i always understood where he was coming from way better than i did any of the other major characters in the other series. which may be in part due to the 1st v. 3rd switch. but i think i was just functioning on a closer wavelength. even when i did not like what was happening lmfao
#it was such a relief after the psychological torment inflicted upon me by liveship traders & rain wild chronicles. like ahhh. fitz. hello#i know what's wrong with you#like. i was very fond of thymara but any time some man tried to talking to her* the inner monologue over here was#'throw him in the rivarrr' which never happened. :(#*also applies to malta in particular
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Mastering Intraday Stock Trading: Strategies, Tips, and Risks
Intraday stock trading, also known as day trading, is a high-stakes endeavor where traders buy and sell stocks within the same trading day. It’s a thrilling pursuit that requires skill, discipline, and a deep understanding of the market. In this article, we’ll explore the world of intraday stock trading, covering strategies, tips, and the inherent risks involved.### Understanding Intraday…
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#Brokerage Fees#Capital Management#Commissions#Contrarian Trading#Day Trader#Day Trading#Diversification#Economic Events#Emotional Trading#Financial Instruments#Financial Markets#Intraday Trading#Investment Strategies#Market Analysis#Market Behavior#Market Liquidity#Market Opening#Market Psychology#Market Research#Market Sentiment.#Market Timing#Market Trends#Momentum Trading#Portfolio Management#Price Fluctuations#Risk Assessment#Risk Management#Scalping#Short-Term Trading#Stock Market
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Owlcat, you don't understand. I NEED my babygirl Tervantias to have voiced lines so I can sit on the vivisection table all cutely while he infodumps on stuff I don't care about.
#texts from the underbrush#It's a psychological need I won't stop Yearning until I have it#rogue trader
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🔥 Risk Management is King
A strategy without risk control is a gamble. Protect your capital, set stop-losses, and let profits run. Smart traders survive, disciplined traders thrive!
PipInfuse - Your expert Forex Trading and Investment management consulting partner
#risk management#forex trading guide#forex for beginners#learn forex trading#management#trading basics#trading psychology#forex traders#fundamental analysis#investment management consultancy#forex trading consultancy#Pipinfuse
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The Dark Side Of Trading No One Talks About Until It’s Too Late
When I initially started trading, I was delighted and perhaps a touch overconfident. The thought of working on my own terms and earning money from anyplace looked appealing. But, honestly, reality struck me hard. Trading isn't as straightforward as it's frequently made out to be, and there are so many things I wish I had known before starting. If you're new to this world, allow me to share some painful facts that I had to learn the hard way.
The Illusion of Quick Success
Trading is frequently marketed as a simple way to financial independence, but in reality, it is the opposite.
It takes real time and effort:
Successful trading needs attention, education, and practice. Nobody becomes a successful trader overnight, regardless of what social media portrays them.
Losses are unavoidable: Even the most successful traders lose money. The difference is that they understand how to handle them and learn from their mistakes. If you're in business for the long run, prioritize constructing a solid foundation above chasing immediate gains.
Emotions can be a hindrance to successful trading.
Fear and greed rule: fear may prevent you from seizing lucrative possibilities, but greed might lead to rash judgments.
Discipline is needed: Staying calm and disciplined, especially during market turbulence, is what distinguishes great traders from the competition. Take breaks when you're feeling overwhelmed. An uncluttered mind can make wiser decisions.
Hidden Costs You Don't Expect:
Trading is more than simply investing money in the market. There are other charges that may catch you off guard.
Fees and commissions: Every deal incurs fees, which mount up over time. Make sure to factor in this when calculating your profits.
Education and tools: Whether it's classes, software, or dependable data platforms, these are important but often expensive prerequisites for professional traders.
Being aware of these fees can help you avoid unreasonable expectations.
The Mental Pressure is Real: Trading is not just financially tough; it can also have a negative impact on your emotional health. Volatile markets can cause stress, making you worried and on edge. Having a plan in place can help alleviate the tension.
Loneliness of the journey: Unlike other vocations, trade is generally done alone. Creating a community of like minded individuals may truly help you stay motivated and supported.
Remember that taking care of your emotional health is equally vital as learning technical analysis.
Importance of a Clear Strategy:
Trading without a plan feels like driving without a map; you'll get lost quickly. Backtest your strategy: Before putting your hard earned money at jeopardy, be sure your methods work by testing them against previous data.
Focus on consistency: Small and regular gains are considerably preferable to chasing risky, huge wins. Your strategy should be your guide, and following it is critical for long term success.
Final Thoughts
Trading is a journey, and like any journey, it presents hurdles. The dark side exists, and if you are not prepared, it can have serious consequences. However, if you are disciplined, patient, and eager to learn, the rewards are well worth it.
Tell me honestly, have you ever faced any of these challenges in your trading journey? Share your thoughts & experiences in the comments I’m really waiting to know your stories.
"We're Building This Together"
Success is more meaningful when we achieve it together, with each shared story and learned lesson. This is more than just trading knowledge it’s about building a supportive community where we can openly share advice, experiences, and encouragement.
Your story could truly encourage someone else who is struggling on their journey!
Remember, each of you brings unique value and respect to this community, and I’m really grateful to have you here. Let's keep learning, growing, and achieving success together.
Your shared experiences, with all their ups and downs, encourage us all.
Together We're not just a community; we're a family, always standing by each other, no matter what comes our way.
Stay blessed 👍
#stock market#cryptocurrency#financialfreedom#trading success#learntotrade#trading tips#stock trading#tradingskills#forex traders#trading strategies#day trading#hardworkpaysoff#cryptocurreny trading#trading psychology#tradingprofit#tradesmart#longtermsuccess#tradingmindset#tradingjourney#investmentstrategies
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I finally caved and read the first two of the acotar books and… let me say my impression of the tag so far is that the media literacy here is…… low,,,
#I think some of you need to learn to reach characters psychologically and how they#relate to trader wish fulfillment and less like Real People#bc they are Characters#and the writing is not nearly so good that you should be giving them that much agency#acotar
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10 Candlestick Patterns for Effective Trading
Candlestick patterns are a powerful tool for traders to analyze price movements and predict future market behavior. Developed in Japan over 300 years ago, these patterns are widely used in modern technical analysis. This article will explore ten essential candlestick patterns that can help traders make informed decisions and enhance their trading strategies. What are Candlestick…
#Bearish Patterns#Bullish Patterns#Candlestick Patterns#Downtrend#Entry and Exit Points#Forex#Forex Traders#Forex Trading#Market Reversal#Price Movements#Risk Management#Stop-Loss#Take-Profit#Technical Analysis#Trading Psychology#Trading Strategies#Trading Strategy#Trend Direction#Trend Identification#Uptrend
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🧠💎 Master Your Mind, Master the Market! Discover 15 game-changing psychology hacks that'll transform you into a crypto trading Jedi. 🚀 Learn how to conquer FOMO, tame your emotions, and make decisions like a pro. Whether you're a newbie or a seasoned trader, these tips will supercharge your mental game and potentially your profits! Don't let your mind sabotage your gains - click to unlock the secrets of unshakeable trading discipline. Your future wealthy self will thank you! 💰🔑
#crypto mindset#trading psychology#crypto success#financial freedom#trading tips#crypto trading#investor mindset#wealth building#trader lifestyle
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Drawdown in Forex Trading with FTG
The blog titled "Drawdown in Forex Trading – Understanding and Managing Losses" delves into the concept of drawdown in forex trading, which refers to the decline in a trading account's equity from its peak due to a series of losing trades. The guide emphasizes the importance of effectively managing drawdowns to preserve capital, maintain confidence, and avoid impulsive decisions during challenging market phases. The blog explains the different types of drawdowns, including equity drawdown and maximum drawdown, and provides a simple formula for calculating drawdown percentages. It discusses common causes of drawdowns in forex trading, such as market volatility, unsuitable strategies, overleveraging, poor risk management, and external factors. The psychological impact of drawdowns on traders is highlighted, emphasizing the emotional toll they can take, leading to self-doubt and anxiety. The long-term effects of drawdowns on trading performance are explored, including capital erosion and missed opportunities. Strategies for managing drawdowns are extensively covered, including risk management techniques such as proper position sizing and setting stop-loss orders. Diversification and asset allocation, utilizing trailing stops, revisiting and adjusting trading strategies, and the importance of analyzing historical data are also discussed. The blog emphasizes the psychological aspects of dealing with drawdowns, including maintaining discipline, overcoming fear and greed, and the importance of keeping a trading journal for self-reflection and growth. The conclusion underscores that drawdowns are a natural part of forex trading and can be opportunities for growth rather than failures. It encourages continuous learning, adaptation, and using the support and resources provided by Funded Traders Global to navigate the challenges and successes of forex trading.
#Calculating the Drawdown Percentage#Common Causes of Drawdowns in Forex Trading#Drawdowns in Forex Trading#Continuous Learning#Definition and Explanation of Drawdown#Definition of Drawdown in Forex Trading#Diversification and Asset Allocation#Drawdown in Forex Trading - Understanding and Managing Losses#Evaluating Historical Drawdown Data#Forex Traders#Funded Traders Global#Identifying and Monitoring Drawdown Patterns#Impact of Drawdown on Trading Accounts#Importance of Keeping a Trading Journal#Importance of Managing Drawdowns#Maintaining Discipline and Emotional Control#Mitigating Drawdowns Through Analysis#Overcoming Fear and Greed#Proper Position Sizing#Psychological Aspects of Dealing with Drawdown#Revisiting Trading Strategies and Adjusting as Necessary#Risk Management Techniques#self-reflection#Strategies to Manage Drawdowns#The Long-Term Impact on Trading#The Psychological Effect of Drawdown on Traders#Types of Drawdowns: Equity Drawdown and Max Drawdown#Understanding Drawdown#Using Technical Indicators for Drawdown Prediction#Utilizing Trailing Stops
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Thin Walls
Pairing: roommate!Paige x reader
Genre: roommates to lovers, kinda funny?, smut, unbearable sexual tension, petty revenge, paper-thin walls, psychological warfare via moaning, paige bueckers menace era, girl failure x girl who never fails, competitive pining, mutual obsession, doomed from the start but in a fun way, vibrators n SEX, almost all ssmut
Description: When a sleep-deprived biomed student moves in with UConn’s most notorious heartbreaker, you expect late-night film study, protein shake graveyards, and an apartment perpetually scented like sweat and victory. What you don’t expect? Thin walls. And Paige Bueckers making absolutely no effort to keep her extracurricular activities quiet.
What starts as a battle for basic human decency turns into something far messier—petty revenge plots, mind games laced with innuendo, and an unspoken tension that neither of you is willing to name. Paige plays like she owns the court, like she owns the world, and maybe—just maybe—like she wants to own you, too.
They say pressure makes diamonds, but when it comes to Paige Bueckers, it just might make a disaster.
WC: 8.4k
There’s a certain satisfaction in watching rich people fight over throw pillows. Like, deep, existential satisfaction. The kind that settles into your bones, whispering at least you’re not that delusional while you scrape the bottom of your bank account for rent. That’s why Selling Sunset has become your new comfort show—nothing soothes the sting of your own financial ruin quite like watching a billionaire lose their shit over an ocean view.
The couch has practically absorbed your body at this point, molded to the exact slouch of your spine. The TV’s glow flickers against the walls, the only illumination in the apartment aside from the soft neon blur of the city outside. A bowl of Greek yogurt sits abandoned on the coffee table—your latest attempt at a “responsible” late-night snack, made in partnership with self-loathing. You’re too exhausted to move, too wired to sleep. Somewhere outside, a siren wails, stretching long and lonely through the night, and you think, for just a second, that if you squint hard enough, you can almost pretend your life is fine.
Then the door slams open like a fucking battering ram.
A mess of limbs and pure, unfiltered desperation stumbles in. Paige Bueckers and tonight’s lucky contestant.
They’re already kissing—no, consuming each other. Lips fused. Hands gripping. Hips aligning like they’re moments away from shifting the tectonic plates beneath them. It’s all sloppy giggles and breathy moans, the kind of shit that should come with a parental advisory warning.
Paige is in sweats and a hoodie that’s hanging halfway off her shoulder, her blonde hair a tousled wreck that suggests she either just left practice or got aggressively felt up in the Uber ride over. The girl—a brunette this time—has her fingers twisted into the hem of Paige’s hoodie like she might actually rip it in half. You’re 98% sure they don’t even notice they almost wipe out over the entryway rug.
You stare. They don’t. They’re too busy dry-humping against the door like horny teenagers who just discovered the concept of friction.
This is usually the part of the night where you’d be asleep. That’s the unspoken agreement. Paige does whatever (or whoever) she wants, and you exist in separate, peaceful universes where her sex life is not your problem. But tonight, insomnia had you in a chokehold, so instead of peacefully slipping into unconsciousness, you’re here, trapped in the splash zone of her latest conquest like some unwilling war correspondent reporting live from the trenches.
Paige finally clocks your presence. Her head jerks up mid-kiss, blinking at you through the haze of what you can only assume is either lust or a full-on brain shutdown.
“Oh. My bad.”
Her voice is husky, wrecked, but casual—so casual, like you just bumped into each other in line at Trader Joe’s, not like you just caught her halfway to third base in the shared living space. The brunette barely acknowledges you, too busy chasing Paige’s mouth again, fingers already curled into the waistband of her sweats like they’re pre-gaming for something much worse.
Your jaw clenches. It’s not jealousy. It’s not even annoyance, really. It’s just…the audacity of it all. You didn’t survive financial ruin, an eviction, and the world’s most soul-sucking job just to end up as an unwilling extra in Paige’s late-night softcore escapades.
Paige smirks, something smug and completely unbothered dancing in her blue eyes, and then—because apparently, she has to make sure you fully marinate in your suffering—she winks.
She fucking winks.
Then she grabs her conquest by the wrist and drags her toward her bedroom. The door swings shut with a decisive click.
You exhale sharply. Shift on the couch. Turn back to Selling Sunset.
A blonde woman in Louboutins slams a designer purse onto a marble counter, screaming about escrow like her life depends on it.
You grab your spoon, chew a bite of yogurt, and pretend this isn’t the worst night of your life.
At first, it’s nothing you can’t ignore—a muffled giggle, the faint creak of a mattress. You’ve had years of training in the fine art of selective hearing. Cheap apartments with walls thinner than a CVS receipt, noisy neighbors who lived for 3 AM karaoke, exes who had no concept of volume control—life has forged you into a soldier of endurance. A survivor. You could sleep through sirens. You could pretend not to hear the couple next door having a screaming match about a misplaced vape pen. You could—if the situation demanded it—completely erase the existence of an entire soundscape from your brain.
But then the giggling shifts. Turns breathy. Then it turns into something else entirely.
A rustle of sheets. A gasp. A low, pleased hum that shouldn’t make your stomach twist with secondhand mortification, but does.
Your grip tightens around the remote. The TV screen flickers in front of you, but you’re no longer absorbing the content. Christine Quinn is monologuing about open-concept kitchens—something about “flow” and “maximizing natural light”—but her voice isn’t nearly loud enough to drown out the escalating symphony from down the hall.
You turn the volume up. Way up.
It doesn’t help.
Paige’s conquest lets out a high, breathy whimper, the kind of sound that makes your entire body lock up like your nervous system just crashed. Paige’s voice follows, low and affectionate, murmuring something you absolutely do not want to hear, but your cursed, traitorous ears pick up anyway. Whatever she says makes the brunette giggle—another peal of laughter before it melts into something softer, more desperate.
Your eye twitches. Nope.
You launch off the couch like you’ve been personally attacked, storming down the hallway with all the righteous fury of someone who has had enough. The second you reach your room, you slam the door shut behind you. The walls rattle. The moaning does not stop.
Jesus. Are your walls are made of tissue paper? No, fuck that—tissue paper at least offer some resistance. This? This is sonic purgatory. Paige’s voice is clearer now, her tone teasing, low, smug. A pet name you can’t quite make out but absolutely wish you could bleach from your brain.
You groan. Loudly. Throw yourself onto your bed and yank a pillow over your head like that’s going to do anything.
It doesn’t.
Because the sounds are intermittent—waves of giggles followed by the kind of sighs that make your ears burn. The occasional shhh from Paige, followed by a breathless “like that?”
You squeeze your eyes shut. Think of something else. Think of literally anything else. You focus on the fabric of your pillowcase, the way the cotton sticks to your cheek, the faint scent of detergent—Paige moans, and your brain short-circuits like a 2003 Dell desktop.
You don’t even have the energy to be properly mad. This is just Paige. Unbothered, self-contained, casually ruining your will to live Paige. She doesn’t try to be inconsiderate, but she also doesn’t try not to be.
Another moan—drawn out and shameless—curls through the air, and you nearly levitate out of your skin. You want to scream. Instead, you yank another pillow over your head for good measure, as if two pillows will somehow create a force field against whatever the fuck is happening in there.
Christine Quinn is still monologuing in your mind, her voice a distant echo beneath the carnal horror occurring in real time.
"It’s all about location, location, location."
Yeah. No shit.
You really should’ve picked a better one.
The morning drags itself into existence like a bad hangover—except you didn’t drink. You just endured. Survived. Battled through the night like some war veteran, only your battlefield wasn’t made of trenches and gunfire but moaning and drywall acoustics.
Sunlight filters through the too-thin blinds, stabbing into your retinas like a personal attack. It casts a harsh glow over the wreckage of your living room—your personal post-war scene. The coffee table is an abandoned crime scene: an empty takeout container, a spoon half-submerged in a sad puddle of yogurt, a crumpled napkin that might have been thrown in frustration during hour two of your sleepless torment. Your blanket is twisted in a heap on the couch, kicked off at some point in your desperate attempt to burrow away from the sounds of Paige Bueckers living her best, most inconsiderate life.
It’s quiet now. Blessedly quiet. A void. No hushed giggles, no rhythmic bedframe percussion, no doors slamming. No evidence of last night’s atrocity except for your residual irritation, clinging to the air like stale perfume.
You sit at the dining table, textbook open, pen in hand, attempting to refocus on something productive. Biomed homework. Neural pathways, synaptic transmission—things that matter. Unlike Paige, who—
A shuffle of feet. Soft, socked steps. You don’t even hear her door creak open—just the lazy, leisurely sound of someone who has never known suffering emerging from her room.
You refuse to look up.
“Morning,” Paige says, casual as ever, like she didn’t turn your living space into the set of a low-budget lesbian porno eight hours ago. She stretches, arms overhead, back arching slightly, exhaling like she just had the most restful night’s sleep of her life.
Meanwhile, you—who has never been more tired—physically recoil at the audacity.
She rubs her eyes, yawns, shuffles past you toward the kitchen like nothing happened. Not even a hint of acknowledgment. No sheepish oops, my bad for mentally scarring you with surround sound sex noise. No hey, sorry about your insomnia and emotional distress. Just a morning like everything is fine.
You blink at her. Unbelievable.
Your fingers tighten around your pencil as you force your gaze back to your notes. Ignore her. You are a scholar. A person of intellect. A higher being.
Paige, meanwhile, has fully migrated to the fridge. She rummages carelessly, like she owns this apartment, like she pays your therapy bills. She emerges with the orange juice carton, unscrews the cap, and—like an absolute menace to society—drinks straight from it.
The pencil in your grip creaks ominously.
“You’re up early,” she remarks, between gulps.
“I didn’t sleep,” you reply, flat, clipped. You don’t look at her. You refuse to.
Paige makes a small sound—something vaguely amused, vaguely disbelieving. “Damn. That sucks.”
That’s it? That’s all she has to say.
You inhale, deeply, willing yourself not to commit a violent felony before noon.
Slowly, slowly, you lift your head, turn your glare toward her like a sniper locking onto a target. Paige, in all her infuriating glory, is leaning against the counter, still drinking your orange juice, looking like someone who has never felt guilt a day in her life. Her expression is neutral, open. Not quite smug, but there’s something about the way she exists that makes you want to throw your textbook at her face and plead temporary insanity in court.
She swipes her thumb across her mouth, wiping away a drop of juice.
“You know what else sucks?” you say, voice deceptively calm. “The structural integrity of our walls. They’re paper-thin. Just an interesting fact I thought I’d share.”
Paige’s lips twitch. She knows. She fucking knows. She tilts her head slightly, like she’s considering whether she should poke the bear or let you stew in your suffering. Then she settles on:
“Huh.”
That’s it.
Your grip tightens on the pencil so hard you might actually snap it in half.
Paige drains the last of the orange juice, wipes her mouth again (like an animal), and sets the carton down with a satisfied sigh. Then, as if she hasn’t just mentally and emotionally destroyed you, she stretches again, rolling out her shoulders.
“Welp,” she says, tone light, completely unbothered. “I’m out. See ya.”
“Wait, what—”
But she’s already gone, disappearing back into her room for approximately thirty seconds before emerging again—this time with a duffel bag slung over her shoulder.
You stare at it. “You’re leaving?”
Paige nods like this is the most normal thing in the world. “Yeah. Team stuff. Won’t be back tonight.”
Your brain malfunctions. Won’t be back tonight. This terrorist has held you emotionally hostage for an entire night and now she’s just leaving? Just walking away from the wreckage like some kind of villain in an action movie, casually strolling as the building explodes behind her?
She tugs on her sneakers at the door, slings her bag higher on her shoulder, and—because the universe is cruel—throws you a lazy, almost mocking little salute.
“Don’t wait up,” she tosses over her shoulder. Then she’s gone.
The door swings shut and the apartment is silent again.
You sit there, fingers clenched around your pencil, biomed notes glaring up at you like they’re personally offended by your suffering. Your eye twitches.
I fucking hate her.
Then you sigh, rub your temple, and force yourself back to work.
It’s been three days of silence. Three whole, glorious days of peace. Three nights where you didn’t have to contemplate smothering yourself with a pillow just to escape the torment of Paige’s complete disregard for basic human decency. The apartment has felt almost normal—like an actual home instead of a halfway house for Paige’s revolving door of hookups. You don’t have to brace yourself every time the front door swings open, because it hasn’t swung open. You don’t have to leave your headphones on while studying to shield yourself from the auditory terrorism of her sex life. You don’t have to walk into the kitchen at 1 AM and fear that you’ll be confronted with Paige, half-naked, wearing nothing but someone else’s lipstick and a hoodie that’s falling off her shoulder like she’s starring in a fucking romance movie.
The peace has been so uninterrupted, so unnatural, that you’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to live in a state of constant vigilance. You throw yourself into your biomed assignments, losing yourself in the clean, clinical world of neural pathways and synaptic transmission, your SZA playlist looping softly in the background. You almost start to believe this is real. That this is the new normal. That maybe Paige has finally, miraculously, learned self-control or, at the very least, found a new venue to conduct her business.
You are so fucking naïve.
The front door doesn’t just open—it explodes. A crack, a slam, a full-body collision with the wall that rattles the picture frames. The kind of entrance that belongs to either a SWAT team or a raging hurricane of bad decisions.
Your body locks up like an animal sensing an oncoming natural disaster. The pencil in your grip slips through your fingers, hitting the desk with a dull thunk. Your heart stutters in your chest, and for one brief, delusional second, you tell yourself that it wasn’t real. Maybe it was just the wind. Maybe Paige forgot something and came back only to leave again. Maybe—
A thud. Then another. The unmistakable rhythm of someone kicking off their shoes, the soft scuff of footsteps across the floor.
You grit your teeth, pressing your palms flat against your desk. You are not going to react. You are not going to engage. If she wants to slam doors and stomp around like a feral beast, fine. You refuse to let her drag you into the chaos. You reach for your headphones, adjusting them over your ears, cranking up the volume until SZA drowns out the world.
It’s not enough.
A sound pierces through the music, slicing through the air like a warning shot. It’s high-pitched, sudden, obscene—so sharp that your entire body recoils. Your brain trips over itself, scrambling to make sense of what it just processed, and for a brief, fleeting moment, you think someone is in distress. Like maybe—maybe—this is the night Paige finally made an enemy and brought home someone who wants to kill her. But no. No, that is not the sound of murder. That is the sound of someone who is very much alive and living their best fucking life at maximum volume.
Your grip tightens around your pencil so hard you genuinely worry it might snap in half.
Then it happens again—louder this time.
“Ooooh, Paige, baby it feel sooo good,” a long, drawn-out moan that echoes through the walls like a goddamn announcement.
Your jaw clenches so hard you swear you hear something crack.
You tell yourself to ignore it. You try to focus on the actual problems in your life—like the metabolic equation staring up at you from your notebook, the one that makes no fucking sense, the one you were just about to solve before Paige returned to single-handedly ruin your night. But this girl—whoever she is—sounds like she’s in a full-blown cinematic production, and Paige? Paige has zero concern for your sanity. No attempt to be discreet, no effort to maybe keep it down, no acknowledgment that she is actively breaking your spirit in real time.
A shhh from Paige, soft, teasing, followed by something breathless. While you– you black out for a second.
The chair scrapes against the floor as you shove away from your desk, adrenaline flooding your veins. You are this close to storming down the hallway, ripping Paige’s door off its hinges, and launching her entire bed out the fucking window. Instead, you flatten your hands against your desk, inhale deeply, and stare down at your notes like they personally wronged you.
This. This is it. You swear to yourself, you are getting revenge.
You don’t know how yet. But it’s happening.
Because if Paige wants to act like an inconsiderate, sex-obsessed demon hellbent on making your life miserable, then fine. Fine. Two can play at this game.
You’ve waited two days. Two agonizing, anticipation-filled days where you paced your room like a villain in the third act of a revenge flick, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Every time you passed by Paige’s empty room, you could practically hear the ghosts of her past hookups mocking you. You had suffered. You had endured. And now, it was your time.
The front door swings open. Not as violently as before—no dramatic bang against the wall, no whirlwind of limbs stumbling over the entryway rug. Just the quiet shuffle of footsteps, the soft rustle of fabric, the barely-there whisper of a muffled giggle. It’s all very tame. Too tame. Like she thinks she can just slip back into this apartment unnoticed, like she didn’t shatter your will to live just days ago with her complete lack of shame or respect for human decency.
You sit up in bed, eyes gleaming in the dim glow of your laptop screen. Showtime.
It had taken an embarrassing amount of time to craft the perfect revenge strategy. You wanted something devastating. Something that would haunt Paige the way her late-night moanfest had haunted you. You considered various forms of psychological warfare��hiding her favorite hoodie, signing her up for weird spam emails, strategically microwaving fish at odd hours—but none of it felt impactful enough. You needed something biblical. Something that would scar.
And then, the answer came to you. Porn.
Loud, obnoxious, horrifically detailed porn. You smile at your glowing laptop and click play.
Instantly, the most sinful, ungodly, downright demonic sounds explode from your speakers. It’s graphic. Monstrous. A chorus of moans, screams, the unmistakable, wet, slapping of skin against skin. The kind of audio that makes you question humanity as a species. You’re pretty sure you hear someone begging in French.
It’s perfect. You crank the volume up.
Then, with the sheer dramatic commitment of a Broadway performer, you slam your bed frame against the wall.
The headboard cracks against the drywall with force, rattling like you’re in the throes of an earth-shattering experience. You moan. Not well, but loudly. Passionately. Over-the-top.
“Ohhh my GOD,” you scream, throwing in some unnecessary yes, yes, right there’s for added flair.
You can feel the disturbance in the force. But you don’t stop. Oh, no. You commit.
You keep the moans rolling, layering them with guttural, animalistic gasps. You bang the headboard again, harder this time, just to make sure Paige feels your suffering on a molecular level. You toss in a deep, satisfied sigh, dragging it out like you’re playing a villain savoring their monologue.
You keep the moans rolling, layering them with deep, broken gasps, the kind of sounds that should not be echoing through the walls of a shared living space. Your voice wavers just enough to sound shaken, overwhelmed, ruined, like you’ve ascended past the mortal plane and are now one with the universe.
The headboard collides with the wall again—harder this time, with a resounding crack that might actually fracture the drywall. Good. Good. Let her feel it. Let the vibrations of your suffering seep into her bones. Let her live what you lived.
You throw in a deep, satisfied sigh, dragging it out long, making it obscene. You let silence stretch, just for a moment, just long enough for Paige to think maybe—maybe—it’s over, that this nightmare has passed.
And then, with the full, unwavering conviction of a lunatic, you moan again.
It’s breathless. Shaky. The kind of sound that would make someone deeply uncomfortable in any setting, but especially when coming from the other side of a paper-thin wall.
A shuffle. A creak of bedsprings. A pause. You can feel her trying to process.
And then, like a gift from the heavens, Paige finally breaks.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
The pure, unfiltered disbelief in her voice is a drug. It fuels you.
You slam your palm against the wall, a solid thunk that reverberates through the apartment. Then, in the single most unhinged act of pettiness you have ever committed, you howl a random man’s name.
Silence.
You shift in bed, letting out a shaky, devastated exhale, the kind of breathless, wrecked sound people make when they have been absolutely, thoroughly ruined. You make sure it carries through the wall, make sure it sinks into her skull.
There’s another pause. A long one. You can almost see Paige lying there in the dark, staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out how her life has come to this exact moment.
Then—an aggressive rustling of sheets, a sharp inhale like she’s gearing up for a speech. You brace yourself.
Her response is immediate. A heavy thud—her fist against your wall. “Oh my God, have some fucking decency.”
That should be the end of it. A normal, sane person would stop here. But you? You are not a normal, sane person. You are a petty, wounded soldier, and you will see this through to the end.
So you shift, make sure your bedsprings let out a very suggestive creak, and then murmur, low and breathy, “Five more minutes.”
A second of pure, raw silence. Then, from her room—chaos.
The violent shuffle of blankets, a sound like something falling off her nightstand, an aggressively muttered string of words that you cannot hear, but you know they’re unholy.
Victory tastes sweet.
The next morning, you wake up feeling transformed. Cleansed. Vindicated. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of your own pettiness, reborn into a creature of pure, unadulterated vengeance. A god of retribution.
Last night was a triumph. A masterpiece of psychological warfare, orchestrated with the precision of a military strategist and the artistic flair of a Broadway performer. Paige had suffered—oh, she had suffered—and you had heard every ounce of that suffering in the sheer disbelief laced through her voice. You had sent her into an existential crisis without so much as stepping foot into her room. And the best part? You didn’t even have to talk about it. No awkward confrontation, no passive-aggressive exchange, no forced discussion about boundaries. Just a silent victory, the best kind of victory.
You stretch in bed, limbs loose and relaxed for the first time in days. No residual irritation, no ghosts of rage clinging to your skin. You won. You won.
The air feels different when you step into the kitchen, like the whole apartment is holding its breath. The atmosphere is charged, electric with something unspoken, a tension that exists only because you created it. You bask in it, inhale it like fresh air, let it fill your lungs as you roll your shoulders back and step into the room.
Paige is already there. She’s leaning against the counter, one hand wrapped around her ever-present protein shake, the other holding her phone, scrolling with the kind of casual indifference that feels fake. Too stiff. Too controlled.
She doesn’t look up. Doesn’t acknowledge you in the slightest. Good. That means you got to her.
You let the silence stretch, let her feel you watching her, reveling in the unspoken weight of last night’s events. Then, with all the exaggerated nonchalance you can muster, you open the fridge. You take your time, rummaging through it, making a show of your relaxed state, of your complete and total lack of shame or regret. Every movement is deliberate, every pause pointed.
The tension is thick enough to taste.Finally, after a long, drawn-out beat, you break the silence.
“Sleep well?”
Nothing. Not even a flicker of acknowledgment. Paige just lifts her shake, takes a slow sip, and keeps scrolling, her gaze glued to her screen like you don’t exist.
You bite back a smirk. Oh, it’s like that, huh?
Fine. You love a challenge.
You grab a yogurt, pop the lid with exaggerated ease, and lean against the counter directly across from her. Mirroring her. Challenging her.
She knows you’re looking. She feels it.
The weight of your gaze drags over her jaw, the bare skin of her collarbone where her hoodie has slouched just a little too low. Over her hands—gripping her phone a fraction too tight, her knuckles taut with something just shy of restraint.
She lifts her protein shake. Takes a sip. Measured, deliberate.
You take a slow, obnoxiously slow, bite of yogurt.
“You seemed a little... tense last night.” Your voice is carefully neutral, the epitome of innocence, like you’re discussing the weather. But your eyes say otherwise.
A flicker. There. The tell.
It’s microscopic—her fingers tightening around her phone, a brief clench of her jaw before she lifts her shake again.
“I’m fine,” Paige says, monotone.
You hum, swirling your spoon through the yogurt, dragging it up in long, slow loops. “Really? You seemed a little... thrown off. Like you weren’t expecting something.”
Paige drinks. Swallows. Sets the bottle down with that same, mechanical precision.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Oh, this is delicious.
“Hmm.” You take another lazy bite, then—just for effect—let your tongue flick over the spoon, slow, clean.
She doesn’t react.
But she sees it. You know she sees it.
The battle of wills unfolds in the silence. A quiet, blistering, psychological duel.
You stretch it, waiting, baiting. Letting the tension tighten between you like a tripwire waiting to snap.
And then—she exhales.
A sharp, quiet breath, controlled but strained. Like she’s holding something back.
And finally, finally, she sets her phone down.
Lifts her head.
Meets your gaze.
And suddenly, the air shifts.
Because Paige’s expression isn’t annoyed, like you expected. It isn’t irritated, or bored, or vaguely exasperated.
It’s something else.
Something slower. Darker.
Your stomach tightens—not in fear, but in something far more dangerous.
She tilts her head just slightly, a fraction of an inch, but the weight of it is immense. A move so calculated it feels like a blade sliding from its sheath.
"You good?" she asks, her voice a study in casual ease. Too smooth. Too careful.
It’s a trap. You know it’s a trap.
But you don’t back down from fights.
“Better than ever.” You drag the words out, light, effortless. “Best sleep of my life.”
Her lips twitch. Just barely. A half-second away from a smirk.
“That right?”
You shrug, feigning boredom. “Guess loud, passionate sex really tires a person out.”
A beat. A single, suspended moment.
Then—
“I wouldn’t know,” Paige says, smooth as silk. Cool as ice. “Didn’t hear a thing.”
Your smirk falters.
Oh.
Oh, she’s good.
You recover quickly. “Really? You must sleep like the dead, then.”
Paige picks up her phone again, dismissive, her gaze flicking back to the screen like you’re not worth the effort.
But her lips? They’re curling. Slightly. Just enough to show teeth.
“Or maybe,” she murmurs, so damn casual, “it just wasn’t worth noticing.”
Oh, that bitch.
Heat flares up your spine, crackling, sharp.
You glare. Paige doesn’t even glance at you. The war has officially begun. And it’s on sight.
You’re not proud of yourself.
Not in the slightest. In fact, you don’t even know how you got here.
But this is what happens when you let your petty little battles spiral into something else, something darker and messier and impossible to ignore. You hate her. You loathe her. You think about her way too much—about how she gets under your skin, about her smug little smirks, about the way she acts like she owns the air you breathe just because she’s taller than you, because she can throw a ball into a hoop, because the entire fucking world looks at her like she’s something more than just a girl who’s in your goddamn way.
And maybe that’s why you’re here.
On your back. In your bed.
Hand between your thighs like an absolute fucking degenerate.
Because Paige is supposed to be gone. She’s supposed to be three states away at some game, doing her little interviews, getting her ego fed by an arena full of people. The apartment is supposed to be empty.
So you let yourself have this.
Let yourself chase the tension out of your muscles, let yourself melt into it, let yourself lose in it.
And God, you wish you were thinking about someone else.
But it’s her.
It’s her stupid fucking face.
It’s the way she taunts you, the way she stands too close in the kitchen, the way her sweatpants hang low on her hips in the morning, the way she stares you down like she’s daring you to push her, like she’s waiting for the exact moment you snap.
You hate her.
You hate how easy it is to imagine her hands on you instead of your own.
Your fingers are slick. Obscenely so. The vibrator hums against your clit like a live wire, like an electric pulse searing through your nerves, turning every inch of your body into a hypersensitive mess. Your thighs twitch, your stomach clenches, your hips keep jerking up, desperate for more, even though it's too much—too intense, too sharp, too unbearably fucking good.
The sheets are ruined beneath you, damp and twisted from how much you’ve writhed against them, chasing the high, riding the edge, dragging it out like you deserve to suffer for this. Like you deserve to ache for it. Your other hand is gripping the pillow, fisting the fabric, white-knuckled, because Paige, Paige, Paige—you can’t get her out of your fucking head.
That smug smirk, those broad shoulders, the way she leans against the kitchen counter like she owns it, owns you, waiting, watching, pushing, teasing—
God, you hate her.
You hate the way she gets under your skin, the way she’s there, always there, lingering in the space between, looking at you like she’s daring you to do something about it. You hate that you want to.
And you hate that you’re so fucking close just thinking about her.
Your toes curl, your breath breaks into little hiccuping moans, your body bows off the mattress. The vibrator sends another sharp burst of pleasure through your swollen, oversensitive clit, and it’s too much—your thighs slam shut around your hand, trying to temper the sensation, trying to trap it, hold it inside you, but it just makes everything sharper, stronger, unbearable—
You choke on a sound, a raw, desperate little whimper.
And then– a noise. Not yours. Not in your room.
On the other side of the fucking wall.
At first, your brain refuses to process it. Because no. No. No way. Paige is supposed to be gone, three states away, playing her stupid game, being her stupid self, not here.
But then you hear it again. A moan. Low, wrecked, unmistakably needy.
Your whole body locks up.
For a second, all you can do is lie there, frozen in place, vibrator still pressed against your clit, your own pulse hammering in your ears. Your skin goes hot, burning with shame, with realization.
She heard you. She fucking heard you.
Another shift. A creak of her bed. The rustle of sheets.
A sharp inhale escapes you, unbidden, and then you clap a hand over your mouth, mortified.
The vibrator is still humming against your clit, sending little aftershocks through you, but you can’t move, you can’t fucking move, because your brain is stuck on the fact that Paige is touching herself right now, that she’s lying in her bed, one wall away, listening to you, moaning for you, and you—
Oh. Fuck.
Your breath catches, your whole body locks up, your hand stills between your thighs—just for a second, just long enough for your brain to catch up to what the hell just happened.
You press the vibrator harder against your clit, bite your lip so hard it hurts, and keep going.
You’re sick, a fucking degenerate. You have to be, because the thought of Paige, lying there in her bed, one flimsy wall away, fingering herself to the sound of you falling apart is the single hottest, most disgusting, most earth-shattering thing you’ve ever fucking imagined.
Your hips twitch up, chasing the feeling, chasing the high, chasing whatever this is, this tight, searing, unspeakable thing curling in your stomach. You shouldn’t be doing this. You should not be doing this. But your fingers are shaking, your whole body is on fire, and you can’t stop, you can’t fucking stop—
And then she makes another sound.
This time it’s louder, more desperate, like she doesn’t care if you hear her anymore. And it sends you spiraling.
Your eyes slam shut, your thighs squeeze together, your stomach clenches so hard you can’t breathe, and the pleasure—fuck, the pleasure—rips through you, tears you apart, drowns you, ruins you.
You come so hard you forget how to exist.
The air is still humming.Your skin is still hot, still damp, still sensitive in a way that makes every shift against the sheets feel like too much. Your breath hasn’t fully evened out, your body still shaking from the wreckage of it, from the way you lost yourself, let yourself drown.
It should be over. It should.
But then—
A sound. Distant, but there. A soft shuffle, the faintest creak of floorboards beyond your door.
Your breath catches. You stare at the ceiling, heart pounding, trying to ignore it. It’s late. Maybe you’re imagining it, maybe it’s nothing. Maybe you’re still stuck somewhere between dream and aftermath, still feeling the phantom weight of her—her hands, her voice, the way your mind kept slipping back to her even as you tried not to.
But then it happens again. A shift of movement. Closer.
A slow, deliberate pause just outside your door.
Your stomach tightens. No.
But the air is suddenly thick with something too real, something too electric—something that makes your pulse hammer in warning even before the first knock lands.
Knock. You stop breathing.
Another.
You jerk up, your body still too sensitive, your skin prickling under the weight of anticipation. You don’t move at first. Don’t respond. Just listen.
A pause. Silence. Maybe she’ll leave. Maybe she’ll take the hint—
And then, the voice. Low. Steady. Unshaken.
"Open the door."
Your fingers tighten around the blanket, pulse kicking hard. Not a question. Not a request.
Just a command.
You should hesitate. You should stay still, let the moment pass, let it slip into the quiet, pretend it never happened.
But you know what’s waiting on the other side. And you know you’re already too far gone. But now she’s here.
You don’t move at first. Just stare at the door, heart picking up speed, hands pressed against the comfort of your blanket. A breath. Another. You tell yourself to stay still, stay quiet, maybe she’ll go away, maybe she’ll take the hint—
She knocks again.
“Open the door.”
Your skin prickles. Not a question. Not a request. Just a flat, patient command. Still, you hesitate. Seconds pass, stretching out between you like a tightrope, thin and fraying. And then, finally, you move.
The door creaks as you pull it open, slow and careful. Paige stands in the dim hallway, shoulders loose, hoodie hanging from her frame like she just threw it on without thinking. Her hair’s a mess—like she’s been running her hands through it, like she’s been restless all night. Her blue eyes flicker over you, unreadable, scanning, weighing.
Then she steps inside.
She doesn’t ask. Doesn’t wait for permission. Just walks past you, brushing close enough that you feel the heat of her body, the scent of her—something clean and sharp, faint sweat and warm fabric and something entirely, infuriatingly her.
The door clicks shut behind her. You don’t speak.
You don’t have to. She turns to you, slow, deliberate, expression unreadable. Then, voice low and measured:
“Lay on the bed.”
A prickle of heat races down your spine. You swallow, breath catching, fingers curling at your sides. But you don’t argue. Don’t hesitate. Just step back, moving without thought, without question, without sense—because it’s Paige, and because you want to know where this is going, and because something inside you is already unraveling at the edges.
The mattress dips as you crawl onto it, arms bracing, knees pressing into the sheets. You don’t dare look at her. You hear the shift of fabric, the quiet creak of the bed frame as she moves behind you, slow, careful. A pause. A breath.
Then—
“Where’s your vibrator?”
The words hit like a strike to the ribs. Sudden, shocking, stealing the air from your lungs.
Your fingers clutch the blankets, throat dry. You don’t answer.
Paige hums, thoughtful, unimpressed. Then you feel her—one hand at your lower back, pressing just enough to make you sink into the mattress, the other trailing up your spine, fingers grazing the curve of your shoulder.
“You’re gonna tell me,” she murmurs, voice steady, quiet, dangerous in its softness. “Or I’ll find it myself.”
Heat pools low in your stomach, twisting sharp and deep. Your breath stutters. Paige’s hand lingers at the back of your neck, fingers tracing, waiting.
Your voice comes out hoarse, barely above a whisper.
“Drawer.”
A pause. The ghost of a smile in her voice.
“Good girl.”
Then she moves.
You hear it—the slide of the drawer, the shift of objects, the quiet click of plastic against wood. A heartbeat. Two. Then the bed shifts again, and she’s behind you, close enough to feel the heat of her, the weight of her presence, the steady, unshaken confidence in every movement.
Her fingers skim your thigh, light, testing, teasing.
“You know what to do.” Your stomach clenches.
Slowly, breathlessly, you shift forward, sinking onto your hands, pressing your chest to the mattress. Your knees spread, thighs parting just enough to leave you open, vulnerable, trembling with something you can’t name.
The air is thick, charged, electric.
Then, Paige’s voice, low and certain:
“Don’t look at me.”
You shudder.
And then—she starts.
The first press of the vibrator against your clit is light—just a tease, barely there, a flicker of sensation that sends a sharp jolt straight through you. Your fingers tighten in the sheets, breath catching, body already wound so fucking tight you think you might shatter from just this.
Paige hums, pleased, lazy. Her other hand skims up your back, slow and deliberate, tracing the dip of your spine, the curve of your ribs, fingers spreading wide as she grips your hip, holding you in place. The bed shifts beneath her weight, but you don’t look back. You don’t dare. Not when you can already feel her eyes on you, watching every little reaction, every twitch, every shaky inhale.
“Look at you,” she murmurs, almost to herself. “So fucking wet already.”
You let out a soft, helpless sound, pressing your forehead against the mattress, trying to steady yourself. It doesn’t help. The vibrator hums again, firmer this time, rolling against your clit in slow, torturous circles, and your hips jerk instinctively, seeking more, needing more.
Paige clicks her tongue. “Uh-uh. Stay still.”
The sharp sting of her palm against your ass is unexpected, quick and precise, more startling than painful—but fuck, it makes you tighten everywhere, makes you gasp, makes heat curl even deeper in your gut. Your nails dig into the sheets, thighs trembling.
Then—without warning—the vibrator presses harder, just enough to make your whole body tense, thighs twitching, stomach clenching. Your mouth falls open, a high, breathless moan spilling out before you can stop it.
“That’s it,” Paige murmurs. “Let me hear you.”
She drags the vibrator lower, just for a second, teasing the slick heat between your thighs, and then—fuck—you feel her fingers, tracing, pressing, testing. You whimper, hips bucking, and she chuckles, low and amused, before finally—finally—she sinks one finger inside.
Your breath stutters, back arching, body clenching tight around the intrusion.
“Fuck,” she exhales, voice rough, almost reverent. “You’re gripping me so fucking tight.”
The vibrator keeps buzzing against your clit, steady, relentless, a constant pulse of pleasure as her finger moves, slow and deliberate, curling just right, dragging along that sensitive spot that makes you tremble.
“God, you’re dripping,” Paige mutters, voice edged with something darker, something raw. “You want more?”
You nod frantically, too wrecked to form words, pushing back against her hand, chasing it, needing it.
She gives it to you.
Another finger presses in, stretching you, filling you, fucking into you in slow, deep strokes, pushing past that tight resistance, until she’s buried up to the knuckle. Your whole body shakes, heat coiling low in your stomach, sharp and overwhelming.
“Jesus,” Paige breathes, her voice tight, wrecked. “You’re gonna fucking ruin me.”
She picks up the pace—fingers curling, twisting, pressing in deeper as the vibrator rolls against your clit, unrelenting, merciless. You’re gasping now, panting, your hips moving without thought, without control, grinding down, fucking yourself onto her fingers, onto the pulsing buzz of the toy, lost in the slick, obscene sound of it, the heat, the pressure, the unbearable, intoxicating pleasure building too fast, too much—
“Paige—”
She tightens her grip on your hip, holding you still, pressing the vibrator harder against your clit, fingers thrusting deeper, sharper, hitting that spot over and over and over—
And you snap.
It crashes into you all at once—blinding, breathless, a shockwave of raw, shuddering pleasure that rips through your entire body. Your mouth falls open in a silent scream, legs shaking, thighs clamping around her hand as the orgasm slams into you, wrecking you, drowning you.
Paige curses, low and filthy, working you through it, keeping the vibrator pressed firm against your clit as your body jerks, as you convulse, as pleasure spills over in wave after brutal wave.
You collapse forward, panting, trembling, barely able to hold yourself up. But Paige isn’t done.
She flips you onto your back in one smooth, effortless motion, her body pressing into yours, caging you in. Before you can even catch your breath, her mouth is on you.
The first kiss is rough, searing, a claim more than a kiss—teeth dragging against your lip, tongue pressing deep, swallowing the wrecked little sounds spilling from your throat.
Her hands are everywhere—gripping your thighs, dragging your legs apart, squeezing your waist, your ribs, your tits, mapping every inch of you like she’s memorizing it.
“You’re so fucking pretty when you cum,” she murmurs, lips brushing yours, voice thick with hunger. “All fucked out and messy for me.”
Your breath stutters. Paige leans in again, dragging her mouth down your jaw, your neck, sucking a mark just below your ear that makes you shiver.
“I want you loud this time,” she mutters, fingers already slipping back between your thighs, spreading you open, rubbing slow, teasing circles against your overstimulated clit. “You gonna give me that?”
You whimper, nodding frantically, hips bucking up into her hand, desperate for more.
Paige smirks against your skin. “Good.”
The heat of her body presses you into the mattress, her grip firm, unrelenting, claiming every inch of you like she’s owed it, like she’s been waiting for this for so fucking long that holding back isn’t an option anymore.
And it’s not. It never was.
Her fingers curl inside you, deep and sharp, pressing right against that devastating spot that makes your whole body tighten and shudder. You’re soaked, dripping down onto her hand, onto the sheets, your thighs slick, trembling, spread wide as she takes what she wants—what she’s wanted for so fucking long.
“You have no idea,” Paige mutters, voice low, wrecked, breath warm against your neck as she drags her lips over your skin, teeth grazing, biting. “No fucking idea how long I’ve wanted this. Wanted you.”
Your brain short-circuits. You gasp, clutching at her shoulders, legs wrapping around her waist, dragging her closer, needing her closer.
She groans, grinding against you, fingers moving faster, harder, pushing into you with a rhythm that’s obscene, ruthless, making you arch, making you cry out.
“You think I didn’t notice?” she growls. “The way you looked at me? The way you listened when I fucked other girls in this apartment?”
Your stomach clenches, a sharp pang of shame and arousal slamming through you.
Paige laughs. A low, breathy, utterly wicked sound.
“That’s right,” she purrs, slowing her fingers to a torturous, teasing drag. “I know what you’ve been doing. Lying in here, all hot and frustrated, touching yourself to the thought of me.”
Your breath catches.
“You ever wonder if I was thinking about you?” she continues, voice husky, lips dragging down your collarbone, your chest, your stomach. “Lying in bed, hearing you through the walls, touching myself to the sound of you coming?”
Your hips jerk up, a desperate, broken sound escaping you.
Paige chuckles, dark and amused, before she slams her fingers into you again, relentless, brutal, dragging you right back up that peak.
“Yeah,” she mutters. “That’s what I fucking thought.”
The words send a fresh wave of heat ripping through your body, pleasure slamming into you all at once, sharp and unbearable, too much but not enough, never enough.
Then she’s everywhere—her mouth crushing against yours, teeth nipping, tongue pressing in deep as her fingers fuck into you, relentless, merciless, like she’s making up for every second she didn’t have you like this.
“Come for me,” she demands, voice ragged, forehead pressing against yours, blue eyes dark, wild, locked onto you like she’s daring you to fall apart.
Your whole body seizes up, back arching, mouth falling open on a silent scream as the orgasm tears through you, overwhelming, devastating, making your mind go blank, making your vision fucking blur.
Paige groans as you clench around her fingers, as you drip onto her hand, onto the sheets, onto her.
“Jesus fuck,” she breathes, watching you, drinking in every twitch, every shake, every shattered gasp. “You look so fucking good like this.”
And before you can even catch your breath, before you can even think, she’s flipping you over again, pressing you into the mattress, pinning you down, her body covering yours completely.
Her mouth is everywhere—hot, desperate, claiming every inch of you, kissing you like she wants to consume you, biting at your throat, your jaw, your lips.
“You’re mine now,” she mutters, breath ragged, hand gripping your hip, dragging you up against her. “You fucking get that?”
You nod frantically, fingers tangling in her hair, pulling her closer, needing more, needing everything.
“Say it,” she growls.
“I’m yours,” you gasp, voice wrecked, desperate.
Paige grins—wild, triumphant—before crashing her mouth against yours again, her hand slipping back between your legs, fingers dragging through the mess she’s already made of you.
“You’re gonna give me another one,” she murmurs, voice dark, teasing.
Your breath stutters, eyes going wide.
“You can’t—”
“I can.” She presses the vibrator back against your clit, fingers already sliding back inside you, making you sob. “And I will.”
Then she fucks you, properly, thoroughly, relentlessly, making you come again and again until you can barely breathe, barely think, until the only thing left in your head is her.
The room is wreckage. Pillows displaced, sheets tangled, the air thick with the scent of sweat and satisfaction. Your limbs are jelly, nerves still sparking like frayed wires, pleasure still ghosting along the edges of your skin in aftershocks you can’t quite suppress. Paige—Paige fucking Bueckers—is lying beside you, her chest rising and falling in deep, steady breaths, arm slung possessively across your stomach like she owns you now.
And maybe she does.
You blink up at the ceiling, brain still trying to reboot. The night—Jesus, the night—had unraveled into something primal, something endless, something that had pushed you past exhaustion, past coherence, past sanity. Paige had wrecked you, torn you apart, rebuilt you in the shape of something raw and ruined and aching for more. And now—
Now, she shifts beside you. A lazy stretch, muscles flexing, a small, satisfied hum escaping her lips. You don’t have the energy to turn your head, but you feel her, the weight of her gaze settling on your profile.
Then, voice still husky from exertion, smug and utterly fucking unbearable—
"So, do you want to get dinner with me?"
Your brain stalls.
Your head turns, slow, disbelieving, vision sharpening just enough to catch the absolute shit-eating grin tugging at her lips. She’s fucking with you. She has to be. After everything—after the way she spent hours making you come until you forgot your own name, until your body had nothing left to give, until you had collapsed against her, too spent to do anything but breathe—she’s asking you out. Like it’s casual. Like it’s normal.
Like this isn’t the most insane, deranged turn of events imaginable.
You stare.
Paige smirks.
And you—God help you—you might actually say yes.
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I think one of Imperialism's most evil strategies is the national scale torture you'll see inflicted on countries that dare to dream of freedom. Like it's not just about overthrowing the anti-imperialist regime itself, but utterly breaking the very social, economic and in turn psychological foundations it's built upon. Prolonged periods of destruction that are as systematic as they are sadistic with the aim of making life unlivable until the government either collapses or gives in, accepting whatever concessions are forced upon them as the nation is remoulded into an dependent and obedient little neocolony.
Sometimes an imperialist power will act directly to achieve this (just take the gratuitous and deliberate destruction of civil infrastructure during the bombings of Yugoslavia and Iraq), but the preferred strategy is to employ local proxies. Groups like RENAMO in Mozambique or the Contras of Nicaragua. Bands of reactionaries, traitors and general desperadoes are gathered up, trained, armed and transported over the border at the expense of the Imperialists and their local collaborators. These armed groups have no interest in build mass support, of representing an alternative way of life. Their only purpose is destruction; killing, torturing, looting, burning whatever they can in order to bring their country to its knees. Frequently targeting important nodes in the networks that sustain the nation and the people's faith in it (bridges, rail depots, factories, hospitals and schools) but ultimately happy to attack whatever they can; every house burned or person tortured contributes to the climate of terror and corrosion of government credibility. Because when they kill these groups don't like to do it cleanly; their attacks generate countless reports immolation, disembowelment, victims hacked to pieces and left to bleed. But when possible they prefer to leave their victims alive and capable of further spreading their terror, inflicting the most vicious sorts of rape and mutilation on a mass scale
It's not just just evil for the sake of evil mind you. The cruelty has a point; human destruction to accompany the physical. Every person killed is someone who can no longer contribute to the development of the nation, while even living yet physically and psychologically broken victim places further strain on their country's increasingly fragile support systems. Meanwhile the terror of these actions spreads the impact beyond their immediate victims. The murder and torture of peasants makes the survivors too scared to go back into their fields, slowly starving the nation as the rural economy grind to a halt. The gruesome deaths of traders and travelers leaves the survivors too terrified to continue their business, shutting down the distributive networks that make national development and often life itself possible. The terror unleashed on foreign professionals can prompt the survivors to flee and discourage newcomers from arriving, depriving the underdeveloped economic and education systems of the skilled workers they need to improve or even function. And every broken body, ever broken mind, is proof of the government's weakness and ineptitude; a humiliating failure to protect their own people that demoralises supporters and empowers dissenters. The motivated sadism of these terrorist attacks is a microcosm of the motivated sadism displayed by their Imperialist backers
But why go to all this trouble? Why not just send in the paratroopers or organise a coup to end those troublesome regimes quickly? Sometimes it's a matter of possibility. As great as they are, the powers of Imperialist nations are not unlimited. All manner of constraints (domestic unrest, international condemnation which advantages dangerous rivals, the simple financial and human costs of such operations) limit what actions are viable or desirable. This is especially significant when the targets are motivated and disciplined anti-imperialists with a base of deep-rooted popular support, the sort of regime that won't go down to a simple commando raid or bribe to the right general. But sometimes, it's not enough to merely cut down a dissenting government; you have to salt the earth and make sure nothing similar ever grows back. I'll finish with the words of an anonymous Jesuit priest, talking about Nicaragua yet in terms widely relevant enough to be published in John Saul's conclusion to A Difficult Road: The Transition to Socialism in Mozambique (1985):
In Chile the Americans made a mistake. They cut off the revolution too abruptly. They killed the revolution but, as we can see from recent developments there, they didn't kill the dream. In Nicaragua, they're trying to kill the dream
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psychological damage compensation for those who happened to witness my immoral rogue trader choices
#plasmdraws#wh40k art#rogue trader crpg#warhammer 40k rogue trader#heinrix van calox#yrliet lanaevyss
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