#Tori has never been intimate with someone

[viviennevermillion]

ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ꜱᴄᴀʀ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʏᴏᴜɴɢ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ, ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴍʏ ʜᴀɴᴅ...

❝ I was made for loving you, even though we may be hopeless hearts just passing through; every bone screaming, I don't know what we should do ❞ — tori kelly

prompt: affection they crave but don't dare to ask for

character included: ei, wanderer, pantalone, baizhu

contains: character x gn!reader, established relationship

warnings: descriptions of suffering and chronic illness in baizhu's part

✧ holding your hand — Ei is touch starved after the centuries she has spent locking herself away in the Plane of Euthymia. She's used to people respecting her and even fearing her, but few actually treat her as an equal. How could they after all? She was an archon and she had ruled Inazuma with an iron fist for quite a while. So something as simple as you taking her hand into yours just as she remembers her friends doing ages ago.... it's hardly something self-evident to her. She has a lot to learn about how the world has changed during her absence. Sometimes she may be confused or have this serious, slightly intimidating look on her face. Nothing better in this moment than her beloved taking her hand, which instantly brings a smile to her face. Ei doesn't ask you to hold her hand, she doesn't want to come off as clingy, but everytime the two of you are out on a date she's silently hoping you'll do this small gesture again that makes her heart skip a beat.

✧ leaning your forehead against hers — Even an archon like the Raiden Shogun is not without troubles. Quite on the contrary, Ei has a lot of them after all that has happened. When her doubts and grief creep up on her, a gesture such as leaning your forehead against hers is like a silent promise to her that you'll be there even as the storm rages on in her mind. Your touch is soothing to her restless soul and as she feels your kindness and the extent of your love, she understands what it means to find her beloved eternity in something as simple as a fleeting moment with you.

✧ kissing her neck — Ei, when she appears in public, represents eternity both as an archon and a person. She's solid and radiates an aura of untouchability. Who could have thought that someone as her was incredibly ticklish? She likes the sensation of your lips against her neck, but it also tickles her sensitive skin, so you can hear a giggle escaping her that you might not have heard otherwise. If you're planning to tease her and fool around, a giggle might turn into a hearty laugh. You'd be sure to earn the respect of Inazuma's citizens if they were to learn that you could draw a laugh like that out of the woman who once watched these lands with such a cold gaze.

✧ letting her rest her head on your shoulder — Ei doesn't technically need to sleep. But the duties of the Shogun can be quite taxing. As such, she appreciates the opportunity to wind down in your presence and take some deep breaths after a stressful day. You can always tell when she's tired. She tends to close her eyes and let the cool wind hit her face. If you offer her to rest her head on your shoulder, she'll happily take you up on it. She'll keep her eyes shut, enjoying the closeness to you as she mumbles a quiet "thank you". She loves to sit idly like this for a while, simply relishing in the love you give her each day.

✧ sharing things with her — There's just something so intimate about doing things together and sharing what you enjoy with each other. At first, Ei found the idea of sharing a can of dango milk with two straws or an ice cream cup a little silly, not understanding how it could be any different from each of you getting your own food and drinks, but after trying it she really felt like she bonded with you over it.

✧ letting him sit on your lap — This is something he would never ask for over his dead body unless you tease the hell out of him repeatedly but he's been thinking about it ever since getting together with you. He's all too familiar with bickering and pushing you away, even when he doesn't want to; because he's scared of what would become of him; were he to face another devastating betrayal. He craves your affection but he spends his days waiting.... yearning for it. For how foolish would it look if you were to mock him and abandon him for craving something as cheesy and human as this? So he pushes down his feelings and just settles for whatever affection you decide to give him. Until one day there's no seating spot left for him and you grab his waist, gently pulling him onto your lap. You had no idea up to that point that your lover was capable of blushing. But he's silent and doesn't dare to move, lest you might push him off with a joking comment. As you pull him closer to your chest, he relaxes into your embrace and closes his eyes. Your lips find the soft skin of his neck and place a couple of appreciative kisses on it. Wanderer lets out a relaxed sigh and turns his head to you to press a kiss to your lips. "You seem to enjoy this", you remarked with a smile on your face. "I'm simply making sure you don't cry about not getting enough affection later. That'd be a bother", he huffs and you can't help but let out a chuckle, knowing him well enough by now to see through his facade. You make a note to do this more often.

✧ playing with his hair — This one is in your favor because he has really, really soft hair. You don't even remember when it happened but at some point, laying his head in your lap and letting you card your fingers through the dark strands has become his way of unwinding after a long day. He loved the experience of finally feeling safe and cared for in someone else's presence after he had been surrounded by people he was more than justified to distrust for the past centuries. Your touch was soothing, like a gentle breeze inviting him to a place far away from his troubles and doubts. Never did Wanderer believe that anything in his life could be considered "a blessing from the gods", but with you? Well, he wouldn't be surprised. Or maybe it was simply what you were like; giving your love to him in this often cold and cruel world without expecting anything in return; your care for him blossoming and persisting in this reality despite all odds.

✧ squeezing his thigh — He loves when you do this, whether it be when you have to get up and leave to attend some business or whether it's in reassurance; despite how he'd claim that he doesn't need your support and encouragement about anything. He'd feel much more lost without it. He also enjoys simply having you rest your hand on his thigh while you're sitting idly on the couch or a picnic blanket, each of you tending to your own matters and interests but always enjoying being together like this. It reminds him that you're there, something he needs when the thoughts of his past and the uncertainty about his future start to creep up on him.

✧ kissing his shoulders — He's very weak for this. He has no idea what the point was; for a puppet to have any sensitive spots. Wouldn't he have been more efficient if he could feel no affection or pain? After all, wouldn't life have been less hurtful like this? But in those moments; feeling your lips trail soft kisses along his shoulders; he was, for the first time, glad that he was like that. He closes his eyes and focuses solely on the pleasant tickle your pecks left on his skin.

✧ holding him in your arms — Pantalone may seem like a cold and serious business man on the outside, but he can't fool his beloved. That man is a hopeless romantic once you get him to trust you and he's clingy as hell. He's a little spoon and he loves when you hold him in your arms after a long day of work that you sometimes even have to coax him away from. He'll rest his head against your chest as you do him the favor of gently removing his glasses that he forgot he even still had on because of how tired he was. He lets out a happy sigh as you run your fingers through his dark locks and press a kiss to his forehead. He may not ask you to do this, but he always makes sure to express his gratitude to you for the love you give him. "Thank you for always taking care of me like this, my dearest", he mumbles and nuzzles your neck, "and getting me to sleep on time... I had no idea it was already midnight." He let out of chuckle and you shake your head with a disappointed sigh. Not a week went by where you didn't find him nodding off at his desk at least once; struggling to keep his eyes open and accidentally misspelling or repeating words on the report drafts he made. "You need to take some more time off", you whisper, gently caressing his cheeks. "The work of a Fatui Harbinger is tedious", he simply states. But if you could convince him to take breaks and get enough rest with your love and affection? Well, that was enough for now.

✧ listing the reasons you love him — This is something he needs from time to time. He vividly remembers his youth where he used to search for coins in the streets to buy himself a meal and was politely told to exit restaurants as his shabby looks might have a negative impact on the establishments' reputation if wealthy customers saw him like this, sitting alone at the table with half a meal because that was all he could afford. His popularity and desirability skyrocketed when he became a wealthy business man and the 9th harbinger. What could you love about him, if not his material possessions? There are moment, especially in the beginning of the relationship, where nothing helps him get over his doubts more than you holding him close and reminding him of how beautiful he was in your eyes; how you'd love him with every fiber of your being even if he had not a single coin to spare. That you adored how thoughtful, intelligent, ambitious and passionate he was. You loved the light-hearted moments in which Pantalone would joke around with you and attempt to tease you; as well as the quiet nights where he just couldn't help but to kiss you over and over again because his love for you was too much to just keep in his heart. You felt the same. That's why you let him know how much he means to you and all the little things you've grown to love about him.

✧ shoulder massages — He needs those because he has so much muscle tension, you weren't sure how his back didn't hurt every minute of the day. There's few things Pantalone appreciates more than having you massage his shoulders and help his muscles relax when he pulls what you had come to refer to as another "desk work marathon". Again, he doesn't ask for this but he makes sure to thank you, interrupting his work for a moment to give you a loving kiss and look into your eyes as he tells you that he loves you.

✧ holding his hand when he's sick — We all know Baizhu has some days where his ailment gets so bad that he has to stay in bed and can't go to work. It took him a long, long time to even let you see him during those moments of weakness. Usually he'd just lock himself in his bedroom with only Changsheng for company as he tried to get through his pain on his own. After all, to him, it seemed as though it probably would be burden enough for you to love a man you knew was slowly dying. You didn't need to see him suffer like this. Only after you insisted several times that you want to be there for him when he has a bad day; that it would worry you way less if you could support him and comfort him; he let you in. Baizhu feels bad for relying on your help when he's in this state, but simultaneously your presence soon becomes a remedy he wouldn't want to miss out on. When the pain makes his whole body sore and the dizziness and nausea makes him feel like he's never going to get up again and the temperature of his body feels as though the gods of cryo and pyro were having a brutal war in his quarters; there's also, through all the hurt, the feeling of your hand holding his. The sound of your voice reassuring him that he was going to be okay and that you were right there with him. "Just focus on my hand", you tell him with a gentle voice as you run your fingertips over his palm as you see him shiver in the bed next to you. "I'm sorry that-", he croaks out but you interrupt him. "There's nothing you need to apologize for, my love", you reassure him and press a kiss to his forehead.

✧ helping him during bad days — Similarly, it also takes Baizhu a while to warm up to the idea of letting you assist him when he's feeling sick; be it making him tea or soup, taking care of some of his documents or wrapping his calves in wet cloths to help with the fever. You can only shake your head upon learning that he used to try and do these things himself while in this state. Changsheng is more than grateful that she doesn't have to fuss over the doctor as much as she used to now that you're here. Despite his initial protests, Baizhu has to admit that getting through one of those days had become way easier with someone around who actually had arms. Changsheng could try to ease his pain and comfort him with words but carrying a plate of soup was outside of the realm of possibility for the white snake.

✧ braiding his hair — As much as you love to see your lover with his hair down, there's many situations in his profession where a braid is more hygienic and comfortable to have. So he appreciates just being able to relax and talk with you about anything that crosses your minds while you braid his hair. If you keep commenting on how soft it is and how beautiful you think Baizhu is, you're sure to get a blush out of the physician. "You're adorable when you're flustered", you tease and Baizhu is glad that you're braiding his hair so he doesn't have to make eye contact with you. Oftentimes, doing this will have you press a kiss or two to his neck to remind him of your love for him while you tend to his long hair.

✧ deep and loving kisses — Baizhu loves when you take the initiative and just hold him in your arms while kissing him slowly and repeatedly. He appreciates to just be able to forget about his quest for immortality and his illness like this for a while, simply focusing on the feeling of your lips on his and your tongue circling around his, pouring all your love for him into the gesture and mumbling a quiet "I love you" in-between them. He knew very well that humans had a habit of living fast and the days going by faster than you'd think they would, so he adores just being able to indulge you and focus on your touch as if time had frozen for just a moment. He lets you pull him into another kiss as many times as you like to, simply grateful to be loved like this by someone he treasures as much as you.

[scalamore]

(Analysis/Thoughts) - Rupert’s obsession/possessiveness (a bit R15+ thoughts?)

What the manhwa does much better in than the novel, is the development of Rupert’s ‘possessiveness’. Eclair, the original novel author, stated she wrote Rupert as an obsessive/possessive character, but I don’t really see it - I just see him being a green flag all around. The manhwa, on the other hand, actually expanded on the novel’s story regarding Rupert’s characterization with manhwa-original scenes and I actually prefer the manhwa’s method. As a review, in both the manhwa and novel, it’s established from Ch 25ish and 45ish that as Rupert grew up, he didn’t have anything to call his own, and so he clung obsessively to what he did. He was always alone, and considered Tori and Louis and Fassbender as tools. As they belonged to him and has his loyalty, he’ll look out for them and use them to their fullest. As Rupert says, he cherishes things because they belong to him, not because he likes them. Things that belong to him won’t betray him. Lari realizes the best way to earn his trust was to pledge her loyalty to him by “becoming his”. She knows she can’t change his mind, and feels that this thought process won’t change anyways. So she offers herself up to him, and spends the rest of S1 and S2 trying to earn his favor and “become his”.

It doesn’t help that Rupert reminds her that she doesn’t belong to him yet, or that he doesn’t trust her, or having Tori remind her how useless she is - all this triggered her fears and anxiety, and how she’s so useless compared to everyone else. And thus the misunderstanding throughout the series: Lari believes that Rupert doesn’t trust her at all, and she has to continue to be more and more reckless in her endeavors to prove her worth to him, to earn his trust and protection. On the other hand based on Ch 115, he warmed up to her REALLY quickly. Looks like he really started trusting her by Ch 59, fell in love sometime between that and Ch 78, where he admitted he wanted to grab and kiss her. Once again, that brings up the issue that Rupert has never been exposed to any love in his life he doesn’t know what it’s like to experience or give it. So while Lari tells him that she wants to be someone he cherishes (like his other ‘belongings’), he gives it serious thought and tries his best to treat her well. But as his feelings grow, there’s another issue: his natural desire to want to get closer to her and be more physically intimate with her.

All his life, he was told that the Crazy Emperor [Loved] Eva, to the point of being obsessed over her, and possessing her to where she was stripped of her individuality and freedom, and is basically a slave. In response to that [Love], Eva was ruined and would rather die than be alive with that monstrous, depraved. Emperor. That’s what Rupert witnessed of such [Love] - physically and mentally assaulting Eva without consent, hugging with her struggling against him, grabbing on to her so she couldn’t flee, forcing kisses and intimacy upon her. Again, this abuse was so horrendous that Eva chose death.

As the manhwa suggests, Rupert already had strong feelings for Lari by Ch 78. During a moment of crisis, when she was poisoned, his desire to protect her grew even stronger, as well as that desire to hold her tight - but he couldn’t allow himself to touch her. When Eva was alive, she had told him that there would be no one in this world who would ever love him for who he is, and he accepted it. After all, who would love him, if not even his own mother did? He also knew how much Lari hated and feared him. There was no way he could act on his feelings. Despite him concluding that he’ll remain distant, to not covet her in CH 63 and 86, he still wants her to be with him. Not realizing what he feels is [Love], he stubbornly reminds her often that “she belongs to him”, in hopes that she won’t think about leaving. Because he knows that if she really wants to leave the palace, he won’t be able to force her to stay. So he reminds her of that promise in Ch 34 and Ch73ish, that she belongs to him now, and to not forget it. To me, that’s just a feeble ‘promise’ to stay by his side. It’s not like an order she’s commanded to fulfill, that’s the only thing Rupert can cling to to encourage her to stay. Besides that, as she’s denied promotions, riches, material goods, he doesn’t know what else he can offer her (he never thinks of the possibility of telling her his real feelings unfortunately, he gave up before he even tried :( ) As Lari correctly guesses - yes it’s Rupert’s insecurity speaking, not an order.

When Ch 98 comes, Rupert once again realizes how much he relies on Lari. Now that he’s this close to becoming Emperor, he feels so so empty, but as he thought, he’s so warm and happy near Lari. His heart/brain naturally headed over to her room, and it’s natural for him to stay overnight to protect her from any harm if any enemies were to target her. He decided again, to watch over her and cherish her as much as he would his own life. He will absolutely protect her from anything and everything.

Then Chapter 111 hits:

This scene of Lari and Eva is super powerful to me, in the sense that the juxtaposition of the violent, possessive nature between Eva and the Crazy Emperor with the panel of the sweet smiling Lari that’s bloodied, dripping down to literally be the blood on Rupert’s back (or it could be that he’s moving around so much that he’s reopening his wounds and they’re bleeding again <— novel)

It’s interesting becuse i always thought it was rather far-fetched that despite having witnessed these episodes of sexual/domestic violence repeatedly for years, he’s disgusted by it all, yet he treats Lari very well, and they even have a very healthy intimate life after becoming a couple.

But after thinking about the events in chapter 87 and 98, where he worries about his “possessive” feelings after that accidental hug, feeling how soft she is and how nice she smells in 87, and seeing her naked figure, clear skin, soft, wet hair in 98…. Makes me think that in addition to having Rupert having second thoughts about continuing to “own” her in a possessive way and trapping her in the palace (because he wants to keep her by his side but he’s scared of ruining her since she “hates him”), he’s having issues with the physical aspects of developing feelings for her. Readers lightheartedly say that Rupert is feeling horny in these two chapters, and I agree.

I initially thought the manhwa removed the part where Rupert tells her that he’s willing to prove his feelings to her because he wants to hug/kiss/sleep with her, but I think they did include in a roundabout way with this scene: Rupert thinks his rapidly growing physical attraction to Lari, especially after he’s hugged her and saw her bare skin, is a bad thing. He’s a normal guy with hormones, after all. He has a perfectly normal desire for intimacy, to be physically close and connected with his loved one. He wants to reach out to grab her, hug her, but he can’t - because he’s scared of becoming just like the Crazy Emperor.

Rupert thinks his [love] for Lari, is purely [lust] or even just possessiveness. He doesn’t realize that love can be a positive emotion, as he’s only exposed to the negative parts of it.

After all, as someone who’s never experienced love or romance, he wouldn’t understand the difference. All he’s seen is the Crazy Emperor’s so-called [love] for Eva, but it’s just a one-sided assault of him forcing himself on her over and over again, with Eva screaming out in pain and rejection continuously. This type of intimacy is just flat out violating a person. There’s no enjoyment. Just assault.

So with Rupert, who’s realizing his feelings now, with those feelings growing stronger when he sees her crying…. Remembers again the trauma of Eva and the Emperor.

Because with those feelings of her, he’ll end up hurting Lari. He pretended not to know, but believed that Lari’s always hated him. If he touches her, she’ll hate him more. If he forces her to sleep with him, she will absolutely hate him to death. He knows how deep Eva’s hatred for the Crazy Emperor was, and he’s absolutely terrified that the moment he touches Lari inappropriately, that innocent smile will break and she’ll resent him forever, with no chance of forgiveness.

To make it worse, in the manhwa, Rupert imagines Eva wrapping herself Lari, and threatening to choke Lari, as if saying “look, if you dare to get one step closer to her, she’ll end up like me, is that what you want? To be like the Crazy Emperor? The one who killed me?”

So of course he has to let her go, because there’s no way he could ever trap her at the palace like that.

Returning to my original point: the manhwa deviates from the novel by making it much clearer that Rupert doesn’t have yandere qualities of obsession/possession. He’s too self-aware for it.

What I see, is a very lonely, insecure guy who really loves and accepts Lari, who feels that she also understands and cares for him and wants to be exclusive with her. She’s nice and considerate to him, but he thinks that’s her character - she’s just nice and considerate to everyone, including him. She’s very pretty, and considering how there were so many men ogling at her at the debutante, there’s plenty outside of the palace who would also love for the privilege of dating/marrying her. So he just ends up acting jealous and territorial. He can’t force her to do anything, because she’ll hate him for it. There’s not much he can offer her, since she doesn’t need much. He’s too considerate of her feelings and happiness. Lari as well, doesn’t really consider Rupert a possessive/obsessive person. He doesn’t scare her, or creep her out, or makes her nervous. He sometimes says/does childish or weird things, but he’s able to be reasoned with. If he does something unreasonable, they’re able to bicker about it till he stops doing the unreasonable thing. Overall, she’s been pretty happy and comfortable by his side. After all, she’s stopped hating and fearing him since about Ch 59, and once she loses that remaining small % of doubt that he would turn in to Rasperich I, she doesn’t let those fears stop her anymore. Because she’s accepted Rupert for who he is now ^^

[greatearthquakestudent]

Characters Anaylsis: True Strong Females

Samantha LaRusso and Tory Nichols

A lot of feminism these days are weak, bland, or stupid as heck. But Cobra Kai has able to produce two true strong female characters, Samantha “Sam” LaRusso and Tory Nichols. 

Some people may say Sam is an annoying brat or Tory is a psychotic murderer. But I call that flawed characters more than anything else. Both these two have done terrible shit, but they also mean well too.

Early Lives:

Samantha “Sam” LaRusso:

Samantha aka Sam LaRusso is the daughter of two time all valley champion and successful salesman, Daniel LaRusso. Her mother Amanda LaRusso (Steiner) is a tough chick from the mid-west. She’s also the older sister of Anthony LaRusso. And the granddaughter figure of the wise karate master, Mr. Nariyoshi Miyagi.

Sam was raised in a wealthy house alongside her younger brother, Anthony LaRusso. Being from tough backgrounds, both her parents had spoiled her and brother to near ways of other rich kids.

At a young age, her father and grandfather started teaching Sam karate, which she shows true talent in. She trained for several years. But around the time Mr. Miyagi passed away, Sam dropped karate from her life.

She befriend a girl named Aisha Robinson at a young age, and later in life, befriended two popular girl named Yasmine and Moon causing her to ignore her friend.

Tory Nichols:

Tory Nichols was born to an unfortunate family. Her father was a deadbeat, her mother was a struggling worker, who barely can make enough money. She has a younger brother named Brandon Nichols, and a criminal for a aunt named Kandace Nichols.

Early in her life, her father has abandoned her, her mother, and her brother for whatever reasons. Her mother had been kicked out of a good waitress job for taking used food out of the trash. This incident made Tory believe that the fortunate are selfish and heartless monsters who won’t care for people like them.

Later in her life, her mother fell ill to a unspecified illness. This causes her to be the adult of the household. She started working minimal wage jobs to make money to take care of her mother, raise her brother, and pay the bills. But since she basically is now her mother, she developed a hatred and anger for these things. 

She also get scammed for her at, who wants her mom to die, so she have her and Brandon for guilt-trip money. She had been threatened with sexual assault by her landlord.

Season 1:

Sam

We see first the young LaRusso through an event. She was one of three girl hit- car accident of future sensei Johnny Lawrence.

The girls, or just one is a part the reason that led Ms. LaRusso’s down her spiral of bad decisions. But reason why she did so was because of her desire to leave the shadow of her famous father. But this influence she made to her person outside her family who was connected to the real her, Aisha, utterly useless .

This desire causes her to date super popular boy, honestly who wouldn’t to be liked, I surely do half the times. But after seeing his true color and avoiding an attack, the boy by humiliating her, made her seem like she’s not something, just like her friend.

But Miguel Diaz, a new kid that Sam barely knew and cared for, stood for her honor and punish this boy. Being a decent person she tries to be and clearly does a good man, Sam is willingly to give Miguel a chance in love.

But tension raises as when she finds out that Miguel is  a student of her father’s old enemy, making her and Miguel’s relationship like Romeo and Juliet. But not speaking up about her role in Johnny Lawrence’s car incident, Sam loses her device privilege for some time.

The someone new came into her life, another nice boy, named Robby Keene. They quickly became friends, but since she couldn’t commune with Miguel, her friendship with Robby turned into something that looks more intimate, romantically intimate.

But when she been caught with this romantic looking friendship by her boyfriend, he got mad. He was understandably mad, but Sam never thought her and Robby have anything romantic between them.

Sam still feels guilt for the two people she hurt, she tries her best to fix it, but the damage has been done, Robby has been hurt by Miguel. I don’t know why she went into karate maybe she use it as a coping mech or whatever

Season 2:

Sam: 

After a while of trying, Sam wasn’t able to get Miguel explain her and Robby’s relationship. But during this time, their friendship developed into something more, the even were able to do the wheel technique together. When the chance came for her to get back her old friend, Aisha, she got it. But then that quickly diminishes, when she meets her new friend, Tory Nichols, who has mean girl demeanor and stole a bottle of vodka. When she found out her mom’s wallet was missing, Sam already knew someone that would that. She confronted, but got humiliated.  Even though, Tory didn’t  steal her mom’s wallet, Tory’s demeanor still was enough for Sam distrust her. But before her chance was diminished by her feelings of Tory, Aisha planted seeds of her and Robby’s relationship which cause her to sees him in the same way she saw Miguel possibly even more. Then found themselves close the felt each other.

But when she went on a date with Robby, she saw the boy she still loved with girl who she can’t the shake of the feelings of trouble off of. And after she antagonized her enough, Sam decided to take revenge on her.

At the party, Sam was probably willing to have a fun time with Robby and co, until she saw Tory with Miguel. Her distrust and along with her jealousy, made her unwilling to let her bully-looking ass intimidate her, so she was willing to challenge her in a drinking contest, knowing she’s more balanced than her. And since she was, she was able to beat her, and gained some glory.

She would’ve probably be into the drinking after beating Tory in it. This happen to where she doesn’t think she needs Robby with her. Then Aisha admitted the truth about what Miguel did by returning the medal of Miyagi.

This action, and along with her undealt feelings for Miguel, She approached him. And with the drugs she was on, she loss herself and kissed Miguel.

But since she still does care about Robby, she felt guilt for kissing Miguel, But she wasn’t able to tell due to fleeing away from the cops, being drunk, and her dad getting her out of Johnny’s apartment.

On the first day of school, Sam tries to tell Robby about what she did, but she couldn’t. Then both things that was on Sam’s mind came out real quick. 1. The Cheating and 2. Her thoughts on Tory. She was hesitant due to her been afraid of what she’d seen in Tory this whole time. 

But when Tory physically cut her open, she beat her up in order to survive. Soon afterwards, she witnessed the love of her life fall to his death caused by the other boy that she genuinely cared about as well.

Despite the fight being over, she was left with the pain that was caused by the girl that she knew who was dangerous and the guilt of her mistake affecting not just her life, but the lives of the boys she loved.

Tory:

Tory Nichols enters the scene showing her badass credential by challenging Cobra Kai champion, Miguel Diaz. There, she showed herself to be a natural tough fighter.

When she found herself hanging out  with the other girl in her dojo, Aisha Robinson, she opened up to her about her  best friend Sam, who wasn’t the best to her. And when she met the said friend Sam, she probably already heard so much shit about her.

Then Sam shows her pain in the butt attitude causing her to think that Sam some kind of “saint”. But when Sam accused her for her stealing her mom’s wallet, she really believed she’s an entitled little brat. When she grabbed her, this reinforced the entitlement, and made her pushed Sam down.

After trying to flirt with Miguel, he was trying to win the affection of his ex, When Tory found out it was Sam. She think that she wasn’t worth it due to what she heard from Aisha. And gets the idea for them to date, because she liked him and she could teach this little brat a lesson.

When Tory tells Miguel about her mom and how the fortune people were horrible to her this was a big part of her character. Both Aisha and Miguel had been wronged by a fortune person  which she could sympathize with. And Miguel was an immigrant, she could understand that struggle too. This also ties Kreese’s speech how, if one person goes down, the rest of you do, since they could share experience with each other.

While on the date with Miguel, she runs into Sam and her date. She started to mess with the entitled brat. But when it looks like Sam’s trying to play with Miguel’s heart or be selfish, Tory retaliated by knocking her down. Sam got an easy revenge by doing the same thing. This got her a consequence which pleads Tory.

At the party, Sam challenged her to the drinking contest which she was an expert in. When she seemed unphased by vodka this shocked her. This causes Tory to lose her balance and lose. Since the brat won, she was angry.

Later on, Tory witnessed Sam kissing Miguel confirming to her that Sam is really a player.

With all the times that Sam was “better” than her, Tory decided to punish the brat for her actions with the people around her.

But sadly, her anger caused the only person she loved to fall to his death.

Season 3:

Sam:

Months after the school fight, Sam was living the trauma of the fight, and with physical reminder for it. And after months of recovery she believed she was ready to go back.

But when she did got the memories of what happened, she’s shamed for being a victim in an assault for something that wasn’t entirely her fault. She’s also living with the guilt of where this all left both important boys in her life. She try to relentlessly check on Robby to make sure he’s alright.

And when Miguel woke up, she tries to amends with him and help him get helping with raising money for his surgery.

When Cobra Kai was antagonizing her fellow students, since she knows what  it’s like to have Cobra Kai  antagonize her, she steps in for them. Any kind of antagonizing behaviors they show, Sam will be there to counteract that, even if that gets her in trouble.

And when she did, she decided to antagonize them to show they can’t just do that to them. But when Tory showed up, the face of her fears was coming, causing her to go into flight mode.

But sadly, she let her friend, Demetri get his arm broken, and since she could’ve done something, but didn’t she at least felt guilt for that. 

This guilt along with her role in everything causes her to have some nightmare of Tory coming over to her safe place, blaming and beating the shit out of her for the role she had, saying it’s all on her. Then attempted to drown her.

When she wakes up she comes to the realization that she isn’t good for her anymore.

Her father tries to help built her up, but she found that useless. But after finding out her father was in her shoes once before with another cobra kai and getting the good of karate back in her, she felt much better with it again.

When she sees Miguel all better, she decided to have a fresh start with him and have redo by on their relationship before the trouble came in. And when they saw unlike couple of Demetri and Yasmine, they saw more of a chance in them.

And after, they worked together to restate the all-valley tournament, they had a moment. This similar moment with her and Robby, but unlike that, she had fully realized her feelings for Miguel and they made a move.

But then Robby came in and made her realize she just betrayed his love too. But hopes of Robby being sensible seemingly low, Sam didn’t reach out to him anymore and focused on her and Miguel.

Miyagi-Do and Eagle-Fang were getting together, Sam able to them together due to her knowing they both hate Cobra Kai now and to stop it.

When Tory confronts her again, the face of her fears was back which causes her to flee. But when she confronted her in her dojo, she had no where to run. With what she learned from her father about fear, Sam was able to face her fear and overcome Tory again.

Tory:

After the fight she started, Tory was expelled from school, was put on probation, doesn’t pay for the dojo, and was low at making money.

Adding more salt to the wound, she has to deal with a sexual predator in the form of  her landlord, but the worse part of about it, he has both financial and lawful power over her, leaving her with no way to defend herself without facing more consequences.

Then Kreese came in and made her a lot better by solving two problems, he got rid of landlord and getting her back into the dojo.

When she found out Miyagi-Do, more specifically Sam was at the arcade, she found another chance to try to punish her again for everything she had done especially after the fight. Even when she didn’t show, this made Tory believe that wasn’t bold enough to fight and chickening to her mom reinforced the spoil brat image she seen in Sam. When Hawk and Tory were talking about getting revenge on Miyagi-Do for getting Miguel involved, Tory showed signs of guilt, but hides it from Hawk who questioned if she had seen him yet. Later that day, she ran into a wheelchair bounded Miguel while going to work. She told him she’s now working two job. 

She tried to apologize to him for not showing up, she explained she really didn’t mean for him to be like he is now. But she and the other will get back at the Miyagi-Do for him.  She uses the line Kreese said, “if one man goes down, so do the rest too”.

But Miguel points out that he’s the only one that’s down. She tried clarifying herself, but Miguel said he understood. He explained he only cared about her during that time and nothing else. Based him and Sam, Tory questioned if he wanted to use her to make Sam jealous. And admit she witnessed their kiss. 

She felt justified over that. Miguel stated he understood and implied she needed psychological help, which she didn’t because her mentality doesn’t matter  and that only that people were wrong get what they deserved, and that Miguel is Sam’s. When she sees Sam’s ex Robby again, she wasn’t happy. She blames him along with everyone, including herself too. Then she helped his anger about Miguel and Sam by channeling it into his fighting. But after the finding a cobra test, she was impressed by Robby’s confidence.

With guidance from Kreese, Tory breaks into the LaRusso household to settle her score with Sam. With Miguel with Sam, she’s enable to listen to him. All that mattered to her was settling the score with Sam. Even when she loses, she was still angry that the brat won again. But she was still determine to get back at her.

Season 4:

Sam:

After the intense fight with Tory, a few months ago, Sam, her dad, and co had officially joined force with Miguel, Johnny, and Eagle-Fang.

Although she’s with Miguel, she still cares about Robby and tries talk to with him. Another way she still cared him about is admitting she went the skate park everyday back then for him to show up. She was angry at Robby for what he did. Which causes Robby to bring up her and Miguel. Sam tries to explain her thoughts at the time.

But Robby didn’t care and told her that she made a choice. But she knew Robby is much better than her, and try to use that fact to make him choose to go back to Miyagi-Do. But Robby brings up a major flaw of her’s, she believe she can get whatever she wants.

When she and the Miyagi-do students were being taught by Johnny for the day,  Johnny wanted them to free run jump off one building to another.

Sam was understandably afraid, she might fall to her death or cripple herself, plus her dad wouldn’t want that. This led into a mini argument with Johnny about their past mistakes and what’s the difference between were. Sam is still young while Johnny was in his 50s  Johnny showed sympathy to Sam about having by your parents, but he now he’s something he likes.

After mix of that conversation from her dad, she developed the confident to jump across the building, soaring an eagle for the first time, being herself more now.  After some time learning Johnny’s style of karate, Sam finally strong again.

With the ideal of Johnny, striking first, Sam gets a little payback at Tory for all the time she hurt her. But to no avail. 

Then her dad forbid her from using Eagle-Fang, she is the first-step of feelings helpless and restricted to her.

After Hawk got jumped and his  hair shaved, she goes to same instinct, to back to up them,

But then soon after, she found Tory getting help from her parents, making her betrayed and more restricted in her life. Brings up how unfair it is that her allowed to do the same while she can’t 

With her life getting out of her control, she starts turning to the only person that she could trust, Aisha.

Aisha gave her advice make, to the first move and set her terms. Since Sam was trying to get into get control of her again, she made the move and threated to Tory.

When her pointed out her cycle of love interest and general mess of that, she promised deal with aspect of her life.

Her trying to take control of her life again clouded her judgement on Tory, and it’s 180 to her, Tory seem insincere.

At the junior prom, she was trying to forget it all, forget the drama that happened from the past year. But then the two biggest thought of her life came back, but worse, Tory with Robby. 

Seeing Tory with Robby triggered her jealousy, trauma, guilt, and lack of control.

During the after party, Tory was acting like she didn’t mess her up real bad. These feelings in Sam overflows and causes her to lash out.

Her and Miguel got into a fight with Robby and Tory which ruined her and Miguel’s night. With all the emotions she feels, she felt hurt that Miguel blamed her for everything going on.

During the all-valley, when Sam was fighting someone that knows her moves she decided to use Eagle-Fang. The best thing to counter that mimicry. But this get reprimanded by Daniel.  Sam fought Tory, she was ready to win again. Even she got the approval to do her own thing. She made the Miyagi-Fang style. But somehow, despite all efforts, she loss. She felt like she failed.

Tory:

After losing to the brat again, Tory is angered than ever before. Tory express to Robby a reason she dislike Sam, because she believed Sam could have  everything she wanted, because it does happen a lot in their conflict.

When Robby challenges the whole dojo, she wasn’t willing to let him win, but after showing his strength, she let him stay. 

During work, she met Amanda LaRusso who gives her an ultimatum, to stay away from her daughter or she’ll go to prison for life. Tory tried to say something about it, but couldn’t knowing this couldn’t end well for her, losing everything right there.

But still knowing what she knows about people like Amanda and not wanting to do this during work, she tried to not let her push her around But with the annoyance of a customer asking for his food, she lashed out at him. Due to having a history of lashing out, this was the last straw for her boss to fire her. Since Amanda played a role in this, Tory blames her for making her angry and expresses her anger by admitting all her deep thought on the workplace.

At practice when she got tripped by Robby, it adds on her frustration what happened earlier. When Kreese tried to ask her, she refused at, but knowing what kind of person she knows he is. She admits why she’s angry.

When she found the bag of food that Amanda gave her. She got angry for her potentially fake sympathy, even with her explanation. She uses this fuel to her anger about Sam.

Despite her anger and frustration, Tory found another job as a children  entertainer. It might’ve been humiliating especially with Sam around, but she was knew it necessary for her life situation. Then Sam came over and was being girl that she knew she was. But due to everything she done, Tory had decided to stay calm and in character. Even when she brought things that were personal to her. But her belittling Tory was enough for a little payback. Knowing she can’t attack at the place, she gets tame way, by having the children throw glitter on her, getting good payback. But, when Sam kissed Miguel, this triggered her frustration, jealous, and anger that  she felt that night. This was enough fpr her quit the job. But, then Amanda apologizes and explains Sam’s behavior. She was full anger. Amanda tries to tell her to look for help, but she believes she could handle this. But Amanda just tells her to try, Tory didn’t react to that though.

At the movie drive in, Tory was still thinking about everything, when Robby checked on her, she tell about that she been having bad day, but, Robby respect her if she didn’t want to tell. Some time later, she gets a visit her aunt Kandace,   who was trying scam her.  But Tory was seemingly fully aware of her tricks and her games learn them from her. When Kandace was talking about her mother’s illness and taking custody of Brandon, she greatly offended Tory and caused her try to hit her. But she pull the fact that she has nobody to help her not even her dad, just her. Tory knows that Kandace doesn’t care about them. But she pulls the fact that her record will not make her look worthy for custody over Brandon. This leaves Tory to realize Amanda is right about needing help and realized what her action cost her. Later that day, Tory went to the LaRusso wanting help to get back into school, so she could finish and get her G.E.D. With knowing she what did at least wasn’t right for her and her situation Tory promises to stay away from Sam. But Amanda tell her to go to therapy, to have someone outside karate to talk about her issues. When she went back to school and saw Sam, She hesitant, but she was thankful for helping her get back in. This is unknown would’ve gone well, made Tory less of everyone around and including.  After spending so much time with Robby, something sparked between them. And when junior prom was rolling around, tension between them really came up, Robby suggested that she should go to mess with Sam and Miguel since that was the lesson of the day. And she suggested that they should do it together.

When they got there, they were ready to give Miguel and Sam a performance they will remember. But slowly the thought messing with Sam had started to fade from Tory’s mind. It was replaced with the thought of her actually being with Robby. As dance continues she confess to Robby about how she realized her what she desire, is to have something she could be proud of herself for, that she earned something in her life.

During  the afterparty, she was probably having the night of her life.  So such she seem to be nice to Sam for a little bit, keeping the promise that she made to Amanda. But since Sam was still the same person, she doesn’t let her boss her around.

Then Sam strikes first, and since Sam is the attacker, Tory has a reason to fight back. Then Miguel comes and carries her, but they fall to the ground. She reminisce for a second about their time together, but since everything that happened, she doesn’t linger on it, and goes back to fighting. When it seem Sam was messing with Robby’s heart now, Tory swept her legs. Since they’re together now, they work together to take on Miguel and Sam. But that didn’t thing, since Robby accidently shoves the couple and Tory into the pool. With the excitement that happens around them after the fall in, Tory playfully  pulls Robby into the pool making there night fun. After all that, Tory and Robby were enjoying the fun that they had at the party, and their night in general. That combine wit there closeness, they shared a kiss and a night together. During the all-valley, when Sam showed more offense to Tory while in her other fights, which caught her guard off. When getting some convo and advice from Amanda and we know that her therapy is really help explain her current self.  When she was ready wish to Sam, she was hesitant, not wanting to disrespect Amanda’s wishes, but Kreese assured that her could do it.

When Sam and her fought, she was really trying to hold back her hard side. But after Sam shows her aggressiveness, Tory was conflicted on what to do. Silver tells her to amp it up, which she did, getting her the point. When Sam strikes back with an unfamiliar style that got her the edge. Despite that all, Tory tries her best to hang into the fight. But while doing so, she accidently used an illegal move on Sam, which she knew wasn’t right.  When Silver tells her harm Sam more, she knew that isn’t going to be any good in this fight. But Kreese tells her to do whatever she wants. With this in mind, Tory was able to overcome Sam fairly. After her victory, she attempted to make amends with Sam by checking on her, but she got swept away by the glory of winning the all-valley. When Tory thought she has finally earned something in her life, it was quickly shattered by her stumbling into Silver paying the ref to rig the fights. She walks away in shame knowing she didn’t actually win.

Season 5:

Sam:

Some time after Sam’s big loss, Sam still has feelings of guilt of letting everyone down. She blaming herself getting Miyagi-do shut down. And she’s been replaying her fight with Tory, but since her guilt was so much and since it already happen, she loses every time.

When Miguel called, she rationally explain how what he’s doing is a bad idea. With having Miguel to about happened, she felt in little neglected by him, but Miguel brushes her issues aside, making her feel alone in this.

This sent Sam in a bit numbing mood and Anthony telling about his problem which is karate was leading to her wanting get away from it all more now. 

After getting text from Miguel, Sam was hesitant after the last time they talked. But with some advice from Moon and Yasmine she was confident enough to suggest them having a talk. At the Spa, Sam tries out a sensory deprivation tank, while she was in there. She was visualizing every issues in her life in the past couple years. Her being in a shadow of her father, her tournament loss, her public image, guilt on hurting Robby, and her tough relationship with Miguel. This all spiral down into what sounds like Tory, but she was really her, or the her that caused all this. 

Sam started to battle with the twisted side of herself,  but got it cut short by Moon. Sam was shaken up by her experience.

Still being shaken up by her vision, she decided to remove one of her problems, her struggling relationship with Miguel, by breaking up with him.

With her break-up with Miguel, Sam had felt  a little relief for problem, but since they’re still friends and their own friends are dating, she still kinda has to see him. While in Ohio, she found out her brother is being terrorized by Cobra Kai, she decided to step in by teaching him ways to defend himself.

When her dad got hurt physically and mentally, she decided to step back in to help him. When her dad reopened, she was there, ready for the fights.

While learning from Chozen, Sam rekindled her friendship with Robby. When her and Miguel found out, Miguel brought up the fact about her being back in karate. Which she has again remembered what it had meant to her. And hearing him and Robby are closer, this made her guilt on what happened to them dissolve.

When getting ready for the Sekkai Tekkai qualifier match, Sam was little hesitant, but her new sensei, Chozen was able relate about feeling like you needed to be better, he convinced her to fight for the people she cares for.

Then she found an octopus necklace by the dojo and was immediately able to put together that it was Miguel’s. During the match, she was ready to fight Tory, but when she disappeared, She had to fight Devon Lee instead. She was dominating Devon, but the ref was making her lose every time which gets to her head. But after encouragement from her team, she was able to overcome these calls and fairly beat Devon. Sam has finally won and she’s very happy about it.When Sam arrived at the party, she was ready to reconnect with Miguel, her hopes to do so was shattered when she saw him making out with another girl. She flees. She tries to go home, but Tory came and told her the truth.This made Sam angry, since her holding this info cause all the events that happened after the tournament. Next day, Sam is still struggling with this information causing her to be judgmental and hostile.

After just not getting the results she wanted from Stingray, Sam was very frustrated and leaves, but as she’s doing so, Miguel questioned everything that been happening in their lives with her. Especially with what happened last night. Sam admitted how much hell this was that came from a lie, she blames herself for not knowing, she blames Tory for not telling her until now. But Miguel gave a perspective with what effects Cobra Kai can have on its students.

With this perspective in mind, Sam decided to talk to Tory for information. After seeing her living environment, her broken hand, hearing the struggles she went through in the dojo, this made Sam realize Tory herself is a victim of Cobra Kai.

With this in mind, Sam decided to finally shut down Cobra Kai. After it was all over, Sam’s life was nearly completed, she and Miguel finally admitted they loved each other, and they kissed.

Tory:

After finding out what happened, Tory was hesitant to go back to the dojo, but knew she had to.

When she questioned as champion by a potential sensei “Joe”, she reluctantly answered the question yes. 

Tory’s mind wasn’t fully into the training which doesn’t go unnoticed by Joe. Joe questioned why she isn’t giving an effort into training, possibly not wanting to train anymore. But Tory’s core motive for karate is to be strong. Then she questioned Joe on why he wanted to be a sensei. He told her his motive was honor. This confused her a bit, but he explained his loss of honor and how he realized it was a self thing. Then he told her that she could do the same. Tory realized this could mean about her as a fighter and person.

The he told her, if she break free of her problem, she must face them. Knowing what to do, Tory was able to now focus on training.

Later, she took Sensei Joe’s advice, to confront her “problem” aka Terry Silver, by confronting him about the cheating. But when Terry promised a good future for her, she couldn’t that pass that up.

At home, Tory looks at her trophy knowing she didn’t deserve it, but she went on display it in fear of Silver.

With no one to really confide in, Tory turns the only person she could rely, Kreese. They came with a plan for her to find out what she can and report back to him.

When Robby came back to leave and asked her, she knew wouldn’t work, because she needs to get info on Silver.

But after Daniel got hurt, Tory felt a mix of guilt making him a part of this, lying to everyone, especially Robby, deceiving people with mysterious notes, letting Silver expand his dojos. But when she told this to Kreese, she was very thrown off on how inconsiderate he was.

When Tory and the senseis took over Topanga Karate, she ended up teaching Devon. She was confused by her combative behaviors, but she brought her late mother dying from illness, she was to able to sympathize with her. 

When the senseis made her fight Devon, she tried to go easy on her, but Sensei  Kim made her go harder. But every time she did, she felt sorry for hurting this poor girl who just want to live up to her mother’s words.

When Devon joined Cobra Kai, Tory was worried for what Cobra might do her.

Training with Kim and Devon, Tory tries to set a good example to Devon, but to no avail. When Devon questioned how she defended her, Tory just express showing how that’s a good leader.

When the Sekkai Taikai came around, and finding out the effects of these events, Tory asked for advice on what to do. But Kreese just refuse to help her, the image of what Tory thought had shattered. She realized this betrayal, led to the belief that she has nobody.

When she found out the match was rigged again, Tory isn’t willingly to feel like faker again and leave the dojo.

After both dojo got into the Sekkai Talkai, Tory was finally decided to come clean to Sam about the cheating. But with Sam not giving her a chance, Tory feels like she had nothing but Cobra Kai as a place to go.

When Robby showed up and  tried to convince the students to see who Silver as the terrible man he is. Tory struggled to hide with the guilt of not listening to Robby and not showing her agreement of the argument of fear out of getting found out.

After the training for the day, Tory was ask to stay back and punch a solid dummy. With no way out, Tory risk breaking her hand in order to avoid further punishment.

But when Kim was tormenting her with her love for Robby, this anger her and try to hit her, but hit the stone instead. This sent Tory to the ground in fear, pain, and regret.

When Tory was icing her hand, the most unexpected visit happened from the person she wouldn’t expect to see her, Sam. Tory already knows how Sam feels about this, so she tried to push her away, but when Sam told her, she wants to talk. Tory hesitantly let her in. There, she let of all her pain, guilt, regret, fear, feeling of being a fraud, and her disappointment to Sam.  But when Sam told her about Stingray, she realized what chances they have.

Despite her feelings and her injured hand, Tory put taking Cobra Kai down above all those things. She tries reason to why the other Cobra on how used they are. She also tried to apologize Devon for deceiving her. 

After the defeat of Silver, Tory and Robby get back together, Tory wanted to have the good things first, before going into the difficult ones.

Conclusion:

Sam and Tory are very flawed characters, but have very strong redeeming qualities to them. Sam is a drama magnet, but deep down she’s just trying to be a decent person, who struggles with life. Tory is a girl with very deep psychological issues due to her past. But deep down she’s a very strong, caring, hard working, and sweet person.

[kcyars99]

Why Did It Take a Video to Make People Believe Cassie?

Source: Variety / Getty

On Friday, May 17, CNN shared a harrowing video of Sean “Diddy” Combs physically assaulting singer Cassie Ventura. The video release followed a lawsuit Ventura filed in late 2023. In it, she alleged the record producer had subjected her to physical abuse, sex trafficking, sexual battery and a host of other emotionally, mentally and physically damaging behaviors. Her assertions opened the floodgates for a number of other alleged victims to come forward, each detailing equally dastardly encounters with the hip-hop mogul. As Ventura’s lawsuit went public, Black digital misogynists, the same group who harassed Megan Thee Stallion in the wake of Tory Lanez shooting her, took immediate opportunity to call the singer a liar. Now that there’s video evidence, there’s been a change of heart. Seeing never should’ve been believing. 

MUST READ: 8 Celebrities Who Denounced Diddy’s Abusive Behavior And Empty Apology

Abuse is more prevalent than many would like to admit. According to a statistic gathered by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “1 in 4 women experience severe intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner contact sexual violence, and/or intimate partner stalking with impacts such as injury, fearfulness, post-traumatic stress disorder..”. There’s a great chance that someone you know has been physically abused. Knowing that they’ll likely feel the need to prove what they endured, opening up becomes even more of a struggle. With how common abuse is, only 61 percent of domestic violence cases lead to a conviction, and that of course, doesn’t account for charges that are ultimately dropped by victims, often the result of emotion-driven pleas from the abuser, not unlike the ones employed by Combs during his apology video shared on May 19.

Cassie And Diddy Video

Source: Neilson Barnard / Getty

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Now that soulless skeptics have seen Ventura be dragged around, punched and nearly struck by a vase, it’s okay to believe her. But for the attuned, a jarring clip was not required to trust that she had been violenced. The vivid descriptions in her November 2023 filing, and the accusation itself, coupled with Gina Huynh’s disturbing story of Combs beating her, were enough for me. Yet under patriarchy, which has positioned global culture to hierarchize the authority, id-inspired emotions, and public personas of men, there was apparently a sea’s worth of room for doubt for others. Ventura’s motivations were called into question. People speculated that with Combs’ billion dollar net worth, she was after money—a claim initially echoed by Combs’ attorney when her accusations came to light. Diddy supporters also said the R&B singer wanted to bring another monied, famous Black man down, like Bill Cosby and R. Kelly, both accused by a number of women of sexual impropriety.

There are endless reasons why society conspires against battered women. Yes, it is a conspiracy when it is decided that women cannot possibly be acquainted with their truth. The root cause is embarrassingly low. There is simply more value placed on men. Such is made evident by the number of jokes stemming from Ventura’s allegations, as well as quickly-drafted skits recreating Combs’ ill-received apology video. Black digital misogynists have conditioned themselves to believe men are superior, “the prize,” even, and that women exclusively focus on stripping them of their masculinity, finances and social standing. This breeds a contempt for women they don’t even know. It also allows them to view money as a marker of morality. Capitalism, and those who are able to scale it, are seen as unequivocally just. They are the ones who are believed without a shadow of doubt.

“Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to take this matter seriously,” Ventura said in a statement on May 23. “My only ask is that EVERYONE open your heart to believing victims the first time. It takes a lot of heart to tell the truth out of a situation that you were powerless in.”

When the video surfaced, it didn’t ripple its way across the internet. It typhooned. There were reposts, reaction videos, critical analysis and firecracker tweets. Suddenly, there was more than enough evidence supporting Ventura’s claims. In her lawsuit, she recalled this exact brutality, down to the location and month, but it was only made real by watching her be flung about like her life didn’t matter. Imagine the immense strength that it took to trudge back through her past and document the worst points of her life. Now think of the horror that would come from doing that kind of psychological excavation, only to not have the world take your harm seriously.

But man, now? Everyone has seen it. Now you can’t ignore the stain of a liberating, grisly truth. There’s no denying that Cassie Ventura was physically attacked by Sean Combs. But do you know what can be done now? Nitpick. Well, why didn’t she leave? She knew how he was. That’s what Hollywood is. See, it was never truly about the evidence. It was about questioning a woman’s right to speak against a powerful man at all.

RELATED STORIES:

Cassie Breaks Her Silence Following Release Of Diddy Abuse Footage: ‘This Healing Journey Is Never Ending’

Cassie’s Lawyer Calls Diddy’s Weak Apology Video “Disingenuous” And “More About Himself” Than His Victims

Sent from my iPhone

that’s why it’s fuck everyone who doubts a woman’s abuse

and heavy on the word fuck!

[ear-worthy]

Tori Spelling Bares All; Podcasts Go Uptown; Spotify Audiobooks Part Three

Tori Spelling Bares All In A New Weekly iHeartPodcast “MISSPELLING” The marketing people at iHeart should be congratulated and even given a raise for this one. This headline and the accompanying photo below make this new podcast announcement seem like a "must listen" for fans. Whether it is, or not, depends on your interest in actor and gossip generator Tori Spelling, and how easily you are swayed by ingenuous marketing. I am personally a pushover, so I'll be giving the show a listen, thanks to Tamar Aprahamian. Basically, and without the fanfare and the salacious allusions, iHeartPodcasts and actor Tori Spelling, are announcing an all-new weekly podcast titled “MISSPELLING.” You can listen to the premiere episode here. Tori Spelling rose to fame in the 1990s as Donna Martin on “Beverly Hills, 90210”. She quickly became a household name as she grew up in the spotlight. Now, with “MISSPELLING”, Tori Spelling will unveil who the real woman is behind all the headlines and will open up like never before in this intimate podcast series. The podcast will ask these questions:

Who is the real woman behind the notorious Tori Spelling headlines?

Is the mother of 5 living in a Beverly Hills Manor or in an RV?

Is she Donna Martin or is she a down-and-out divorcee?

For someone who grew up with Hollywood mogul Aaron Spelling, was she daddy's little girl? Or is she her father's daughter?

According to iHeart, "Miss Spelling is ready to reveal what's real and what's fake, as she strips down her Hollywood persona. If you think the rumors are shocking, just wait until you hear the truth! Because when a woman has nothing to lose, she has everything to gain." Folks, this is marketing copy at its best! I've never even seen an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 or heard any gossip about Tori Spelling, and I want to listen! MISSPELLING marks the second podcast with Tori Spelling and iHeartPodcasts. She will continue to host 9021OMG alongside her BFF and former co-star Jennie Garth. If you are a fan of Beverly Hills 90210 or Tori Spelling, this podcast could be your white whale. Check out MISSPELLING. If you dare! ****************************************************** According to Karen Glover of Cumulus Media, Edison Research released their annual Infinite Dial study, which the company has been doing since 1998. The goal is to understand how Americans use emerging forms of audio and new media. For marketers, the most compelling aspect of the study highlighted podcast audiences. The results of Edison Research’s 2024 Infinite Dial study contain some compelling insights for marketers and media agencies. This week’s Cumulus Media | Westwood One Audio Active Group® blog outlines the key takeaways for marketers. A key conclusion for podcast fans is, "No longer is podcasting a niche platform lacking scale." "Over 135 million Americans, 47% of persons 12+, are reached monthly. Among demographics such as persons 18-34, 18-49, and 25-54, monthly reach is in the low 60% range." Another study conclusion was that "it is feasible to consider shifting TV budgets to podcasting, given that podcast 18-34 reach performance is as big as TV. " Another conclusion was that, "Brands targeting women should give podcasts a starring role in media plans: Podcast female audiences have hit record highs in habituation and reach." Finally, from an advertising perspective, "Adopt agency media legend Arnie Semsky’s 5% solution to podcasts: Allocate 5% of digital ad budgets to podcasts." This is all good news for podcasting and podcasters. **************************************************** You have to hand it to Spotify. The company does embrace the age-old wisdom of: "If you don't succeed, try, try again." The company made a mess of its podcasting strategy and was largely responsible for an asset bubble that burst in podcasting in late 2022 and last year. Spotify has made more judicious and cost-effective moves in podcasting in late 2023 and so far in 2024. The second cousin of podcasting is audiobooks, another market which Spotify leaped into several years ago with high hopes and low levels of strategic planning and customer satisfaction. Sptoify has tried several marketing strategies that have been received about as well as we would welcome a blister on the underside of our big toe. Just like with podcasting, Spotify is adapting. Here's its latest announcement: "Following the success of Spotify’s Audiobooks in Premium launch in the US, U.K., and Australia, Audiobooks for Premium will be available for Spotify Premium users in Canada, Ireland, and New Zealand on April 9." Here's the new deal: "Spotify Premium users in these markets will experience a new way to listen to audiobooks on Spotify: access to 15 hours of monthly audiobook listening time which already includes an on-demand catalog of more than 100 million tracks and 5 million podcasts - delivering even greater value to Spotify’s Premium subscribers." Spotify also expanded their catalog from 200K to 250K titles for Spotify Premium users in the US, U.K., and Australia, and in its new markets, Canada, Ireland, and New Zealand. Here’s how it works:

Find audiobooks in the Home feed of the Spotify app or by searching for your favorite books - and for those not sure where to start, an editorially curated selection of popular titles is available in Spotify’s audiobooks hub.

The Audiobooks in Premium experience means that any audiobook marked as “Included in Premium” can be listened to with a Spotify Premium subscription, with users being able to listen to up to 15 hours of audiobooks per month.

Once you select the audiobook you want to listen to, just hit play! You can track your listening hours in the settings of your Spotify app.

Additional 10-hour allocations can be purchased as top-ups whenever needed (CAD $14.99, IRE €12.99, and NZD $19.99).

It is true that Spotify’s reach of possible new audiobook listeners has the potential to greatly grow the size of the industry overall and enable more listeners than ever to discover and engage with books. The audiobook industry has experienced a 20% year-over-year growth as of 2022, and to be fair to Spotify, its expansion of audiobook listening in its ecosystem should contribute to accelerating this industry growth. Spotify says that, "making Audiobooks in Premium available in Canada, Ireland, and New Zealand is the next step on that path." The audiobook market does need more competition. After all, Amazon Audible needs at least one challenger. Come on Apple. Do something other than overcharge for audiobooks.

[jkgnggj]

Love talking Abt tori's background I've done it a million times and will do it a million more it's just so interesting and there's so much unknowns grr

It def looks like tori's parents neglect him I doubt they even actually "raised" him since they're so hands off and absent in his life and hardly mentioned by him ever. The only time he mentions his old man is to boast Abt his "connections" like with the occult club thing where they were gonna stay at like an abandoned or empty temple or sum. Or when Tori boasts about his background saying he was born in a temple / comes from a temple family etc but I think he only says that to give himself more credibility bc of the whole everyone thinking he's crazy bc he says he can see ghosts shit.

Also from what we do know of his parents, we've only heard Abt his dad not his mom so I like to hc she's outta the picture (either deceased or just not there yk) tho I used to just hc he was an orphan dropped off there and taken in by the monks / head monk or something. Anyways, his dad is mentioned by the monks having said to be strict with Tori or "take care" of him and that's pretty much it, super vague. For all we know it isn't endearing or sweet it's controlling especially bc if the monk's idea of taking care of him is being strict and stuff then maybe Tori had a really strict and rigid daily routine and life growing up in the temple. I mean if his punishment is always gonna be fasting for a certain amount of days then I imagine he'd probs behave most of the time which is why he's well mannered or takes a traditional approach to some things (I think someone once questioned how odd it was he called kusuo saiki-san, like who taught him manners). Also his other temple the one he was probably raised in doesn't look like it had pretty memories considering the fact when he was threatened to be sent back there again he caved and did as he was told or whatever. Or maybe he didn't like the thought of being separated from his master and the cute girls at pk who hate his fucking guys who knows ☠️

And lastly Abt the "he's not a bad person" yes ur totally right I completely agree !! He isn't a bad person. He's got some bad habits and says and does some inappropriate shit but he's not that much of a scumbag as he's made out to be. He's actually a pretty sweet guy even tho he pretends not to be. Tho he only shows the better innocent parts of him he hides to ghosts and saiki. Like that one time he helped an "evil" ghost with the occult club. His lil mom speech was so cute I loved it so much lol! Mom friend toritsuka?! He also has this hatred for humans and like men specifically (maybe he has a dad complex? Or a monk complex? Since he's probably mostly and only been around men his entire life esp if his mom wasn't in the picture). So maybe that men hating attitude has something to do with past trauma who knows there could be so much to unpack. And as for me, I like to believe his hypersexualness / "porn addiction" is like some sort of coping mechanism or something similar. I said this in another post like a long time ago but I think it has to do with his sense of longing to *feel* what love is, to love and be loved. The closest thing he has to work on is lust or pleasure bc those are attributed to physical feelings that are closely related to love but not quite the same thing but it's as close as he'll ever get. I mean he's got mommy and daddy issues he was probably never hugged or held in his entire fucking life, it's no wonder he'd be craving physical affection and love and that twists itself into perversion. Also I imagine he's so obsessed with physical touch and being intimate because of the whole can't touch ghosts thing. Maybe the touching that was his coping mechanism for his powers became the reason he became so disliked, bc ppl started thinking ew gross pervert and it just stuck and in order to cope with that he just had to go with it and keep seeking stimulation.

thinking about toritsuka and his family bc i have so many things to say about it. we know that he has father but he seems to be more concerned about his temple things rather than his son. and it seems like he needs toritsuka just as another person to work in the temple or smth else. also uhh

this panel makes me think a lot especially that "your father told us to be strict with you". and we know nothing about his mother and i hc that she's dead but idk idk.

so toritsuka was born and raised in the temple and it looks like he had a very strict upbringing and to my mind this made him what he is now. like all his interest in porn and other seems more as a some kind of protest or an effort to feel the freedom he has never had before. i suppose that in reality he may be not that interested in this, it's just something that was forbidden and now he has access to it.

he doesn't know how to normally behave in society, apparently he wasn't taught this. in my view he's not a bad person, he just had this... unusual childhood and that's why he formed all his stupid habits and interests. ofc that doesn't justify some of his actions but still i love him sm and i don't see him as a bad person at all

[thespearandthecrown]

Name: Tori Laclaire

Age: 24

Place Of Origin: Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA

Occupation: Primary Guardian to Noah Laclaire

Orientation: Lesbian

Species: Werewolf

Descriptive Traits:

Human: Tori is about 5ft 10 and built like a shit brick house. She has wide shoulders, muscular forearms, and a thick torso. This girl will grapple you and put you into the ground and give you a concussion while doing it. If Tori Laclaire was in Rugby she would be a tighthead prop. Her scrumhalf and her wingers would love having her be the frontline of a scrum because she would not fucking move. Get me a freak like that. She has emerald green eyes that will look you up and down to evaluate the potential threat you pose. She has a scarred eyebrow from a training tussel she got into with Ivan. Her blonde hair is shaved on the sides while the top is about jaw length, she will tie it up behind her to keep it out of her eyes. Tori is usually seen wearing Austin’s (A recently deceased pack member) green bomber jacket that he cherished very much, a plaid shirt or a t-shirt underneath it. Usually she wears clothes that she can find at cheap department stores since she has been on the run for almost a year now.

Wolf: Tori’s wolf is pitch black save for a few patches of white on the tip of her tail, her chest and a bit around her nose. She also has sprigs of white fur around her stomach. Her biological mother was a North American werewolf who was half Native American so her emerald green eyes shift to silver around the irises when she is wolf. If we continue with the 6ft person scale, Tori’s head would be at the top of their midriff/ bottom of the chest and her shoulders would be at stomach height.

Family: 

Mother: Allegra Drupot (Biological Mother, Altona, Manitoba, Canada, Werewolf, 93), Catia Carvalho (Step-Mother, Bao Vista, Brazil, Jurupari Sage, Deceased)

Father: Pastor Royce Laclaire (Baton Rouge, Louisiana, USA, Pastor, Human, Deceased)

Siblings: Noah Laclaire (8, sage, half-brother),Tori actually has two other sisters that she has no contact with. The oldest, Heather (38), tried to make contact but Catia intercepted the letter and burned it. The middle sister, Loral (29) couldn’t give a shit about Tori.

Pack: Ivan Zarina (Werewolf, 26), Austin Djembole (Werewolf, Deceased), Shaya Carvalho (Step-Aunt, Unknown Age, Jurupari Sage)

Personality: Tori is tired. This girl has taken responsibility to parent her half-brother. She is very rational and will think through every problem with every scenario in mind. Every decision she makes is with her brother and pack in mind before thinking about herself. She is a bit of a control freak and likes to handle things her way. Catia raised Tori to be the family protector once she found out what Tori was. With most purebred werewolves they will show early rage and strength issues around their teens with spikes of mood swings hitting the full moon. So to prepare Tori for a life in the supernatrual world, Catia taught Tori many skills regarding living on the road, surviving in the wild, keeping her cool under pressure and learning who your enemies are. It would  be a true statement that Tori is definetly the mom friend of the pack. She keeps in charge of the finances, when and where to eat, when and where to sleep, and when and where they need to run. But she isn’t afraid to have a little fun, she just doesn’t have the time or energy to be a young wolf. She has people that rely on her.

Languages: English, Latin, Spanish, Portugese, French, Latvian

Likes: Sleep, the colour green, actual sweet tea (Fucking hedonists, how could you fuck that up?), loves a good run on a full moon, A decent gas station sandwich, hot showers, spongebob (Noah’s favourite cartoon right now), Driving North Carolina in the fall, Warm flannel freshy laundered.

Dislikes: Cold, Hunters, fake ‘sweet tea’, a bad gas station sandwich, Ivan teaching Noah how to swear in Latvian, when Shaya is being a bitch

Vices: Breaking things. When Tori needs to let off steam she will buy a whole set of plates and go smash them somewhere.

Fears: Her brother getting hurt/killed/homeless

Quote: As tired, ragged and beaten as I am. I will protect you with my dying breath and love you til the end of time.

Song: Never Far Away- Jack White

Thank you Picrew for the lovely icons -> Picrew.me And for @sangled, @lullindo and @Makowwka for their icon maker! Ty!

[omgitsshrimp]

[SPOILERS from Manga!] Attack on Titan Theory: The baby was NOT PLANNED.

MAJOR SPOILER WARNING!! IF YOU’RE ANIME ONLY SKIP THIS POST! 

I thought I’d share my own theory on the whole situation with Eren and Historia. Keep in mind this is just my opinion/interpretation of everything so far. I just want to get my two cents in. 

I know suggesting that the baby isn’t planned sounds nuts, but hear me out. In Ch 130 we’re shown panels of Eren and Historia discussing the military’s plans for her, Eren telling her his plan, and Historia discussing a baby with Eren. 

In one panel, Historia is standing in front of the wooden fence, on the left side of the panel; then in a later panel she’s standing in front of the wooden fence on the right side of the panel. 

I don’t think this is by accident. This implies that Eren and Historia met up more than once, which opens up a strong possibility of them meeting up several times in the past. So when Historia asks Eren about having a baby, we don’t know if she said that in the same conversation as the earlier panels. It could have happened at a completely different time. We only have a close up of her face when she says it, and we dont see the whole convo, which means we don’t know the full context around her bringing up a baby to Eren.  

*Assuming they have met up several times, it begs the question, why does Eren even meet up with Historia? In my opinion, it’s because he has feelings for her, and they might be involved romantically.

 We know that the songs for AoT can allude to or foreshadow events in the story. I feel like Eren and Historia’s meet ups were alluded to in two songs (that I know of) in AoT OST, “Zero Eclipse” and “Yuugure no Tori” (ed3).

Zero Eclipse (only later part of the song is related to Eren):

“Make a promise that I cannot regret, As long as I can see you but in secret”

Yuugure no Tori:

“I’ll sing out with my girl, Go to the meeting place sing alone”

If the Baby was Planned, It Would Contradict Eren’s ideals/motivation

Another reason I don’t think the baby is planned is because if the point is to not produce kids just for a strategic purpose then why would Eren and Historia make a plan to do just that? (ie having a baby to put off Historia eating Zeke). Having the reason for making a child be reduced to convenience/serving your plan doesn’t sit right with me. It doesn’t align with Eren’s beliefs, in my opinion.

Assuming that Eren and Historia are romantically involved and have been physically intimate for some time, I think its fair to consider that this baby was conceived by chance (as well as love) rather than some sort of necessity brought on by a situation. I think upon hearing what the military was planning for Historia, Eren decided to make plans for another way that wouldn’t sacrifice her. I don’t think that involved making a child. I think the child came about by chance and the panel of Historia asking Eren about a baby was maybe part of a longer conversation where she was telling him that she was pregnant. I know I’m making a lot of assumptions, but I don’t think its impossible. 

I think from there, Eren and Historia came up with a plan to hide the pregnancy in order to protect Historia from being connected to Eren, since he knew he was going to start going against the military and wanted to protect Historia from any association with that. And also, kept it secret because if Zeke some how found out, it would compromise Zeke’s confidence in Eren and mess up Eren’s plans. Eren and Historia’s plan to keep the paternity a secret involved lying about the due date and using the Farmer as a cover. I suspect the farmer guy agreed because he really did feel guilty about bullying Historia as a child. The fact that he felt guilty enough to work there for years opens the possibility of him willing to go along with Eren and Historia’s plan, so he can make up for everything.

Paneling Choices

Now I want to talk about Isayama’s choices when it comes to the panels in ch 130, specifically in regards to the scene of Eren making his plans, Eren and Historia talking, and Eren and Zeke discussing Mikasa. How Isayama chose to order these panels seemed to me, very intentional and meticulous. 

In the previous panels in the same chapter we see Eren refusing to allow Historia to be sacrificed and we see him willing to go against humanity for her (and Paradis as a whole). Isayama decided to shows us the process of Eren deciding to carry out this plan through his interactions with Historia, as if to convey that she’s a big reason for why he’s doing all this. He’s emphasizing her importance in how Eren came to start this mission by positoning her front and center. This sequence ends with Eren telling Historia that she saved him, paralleling Mikasa in a big way.

Then, we go to a conversation between Zeke and Eren about the Ackerman bloodline. Zeke is clarifying to Eren that there is no ingrained behavior and that Mikasa does all these things for him because she loves him. And right after Zeke says that, there is a panel of Eren and Historia. I feel like Isayama gave us an explanation of Eren’s actions right here. A discussion about Mikasa’s affection and devotion juxtaposed with images of Eren and Historia right after we saw several panels of Eren doing exactly what Zeke described Mikasa does for Eren, in my opinion, was meant to indirectly allude to why Eren is doing this and how he feels about Historia. Isayama doesn’t want to give it away just yet, but is giving subtle breadcrumbs. Using Mikasa’s feelings to juxtapose probably threw people off too.    

It’s my opinion that Eren loves Historia. There’s other evidence that people have pointed out that I also agree with, but I won’t delve deep I’ll just mention them here:

 -Hanji noticing Eren smiling at Historia and defending her wellbeing, then asking Eren about it. Eren snaps at Hanji when she brings up Historia.

-Historia getting teary eyed when Eren defends her in the meeting. 

The only person Eren has been consistent with protecting this whole time has been Historia. His desire to protect her never wavered. He’s been talking about protecting her since the end of season 3. The only person we’ve seen Eren confide in (about his plans etc.) is Historia. She’s clearly significant to him.

What Eren Kruger Said to Grisha

Another reason I think Eren loves Historia and is romantically involved with her is because of what Eren Kruger said to Grisha. The Attack titan shifter can see future memories as well as past ones. Kruger told Grisha to “love someone in the walls, build a family. If you can’t do that, the same cycle will repeat itself. If you want to save Mikasa and Armin, carry out your mission to the end”. I think Kruger was also talking to Eren here, OR Isayama was alluding to what Eren will need to do in order to save everyone. In the anime, they added a line for Kruger, he says “someone in the future might see this [moment/memory of their conversation]”. I think it was added to establish that there may be a link between what Kruger said and what Eren is doing. Afterall, we know Eren saw this conversation. 

I think Eren did fall in love, with Historia, and is building a family (conceived a baby by chance), and something about the experience of love and impending fatherhood has played an important role in Eren carrying out this mission and ultimately saving Armin, Mikasa and Paradis, while also ending the cycle of hate.

In Ch 130, we see Eren saying that he has to do the rumbling in order for the cycle of hate to end. Similar to what Kruger said. Everything is happening exactly as Eren saw it, we saw that with that little boy Halil (or was it Ramzi?). The future memories were all correct, so if Kruger was speaking based on future memories then what he said about love, building a family, saving Armin and Mikasa, probably had truth to it.

 Eren’s Talk with Mikasa in Ch 123

A lot of people see this as an ErenxMikasa moment but since Eren and Zeke’s conversation in Ch 130, I don’t think that’s the case. In Ch 123, Eren asks Mikasa “what am I to you?”. Mikasa flusters and says “family”. I think Eren asked her this because he was suspecting that her Ackerman bloodline was influencing her decisions. This probably worried him because he didn’t want Mikasa to be a slave to her bloodline. Mikasa’s answer didn’t clarify anything for him. He was left ambivalent on the subject and that’s why he asked Zeke about the Ackerman bloodline. 

Mikasa says in Ch 123, that maybe if she gave a different answer things would have happened differently, but Zeke did give Eren a clear answer about how Mikasa felt. Eren knew how she felt and it didn’t change anything. Eren was concerned about the Ackerman bloodline influence because he wanted Mikasa to be free, not because he’s romantically interested in her.

I do realize I could be dead wrong. I know suggesting the baby wasn’t planned is a huge stretch but I just thought I’d put it out there. I just want it to be true so badly lol. Even if the baby is planned, I think there’s still some truth to some of the other things I pointed out. This was just a fun thing for me to do. I normally don’t write long theory posts, but I figured why not since it’s so close to the end and everyone is speculating. Why not join in?

I think that’s it. I hope I’m not missing anything. As for how I think the whole story will end? I think because Eren freed Ymir, titan powers might cease to exist. But I don’t know how that’ll affect the 13 year Ymir curse if that does happen. So I guess we’ll see. 

Feel free to share your thoughts. I’m not AntiMikasa or anything. Please be respectful! Thanks for reading!

[evabellasworld]

Storm of the Republic

Chapter 27

AO3 Link | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27

——————————————————————————————

Summary:  When Tup murdered General Tiplar during a battle, Anakin Skywalker and Captain Rex dispatched Ahsoka, Fives, and Yara to solve the mystery that was plaguing the Clone Army. Meanwhile, Senator Padme Amidala contacted Commander Fox, Commander Tori, Riyo Chuchi, and Dipper to help her continue investigating the death of Palpatine, suspecting that Dooku was behind the evil plot. But when Dooku send an ISB agent to stop them, the team had to race against time to search for the truth, which could alter the course of the galaxy.

————————————————————————————

“So, what do you think will happen today?” Odd Eye asked her second-in-command. “Will we have any luck storming the city of Mendes today?”

“Let’s see,” Tarot said, as he closed his eyes and shuffled the cards and pulled one out, revealing The Magician card in front of her eyes. “Well, the answer to your question is maybe. Maybe our mission will succeed, maybe it won’t.”

She raised one of her eyebrows. “Maybe? Really? You mean, we may or may not successfully storm the city of Mendes? Are you serious? This sentiment will not make this mission successful, you know. It’s a yes or a no, that’s all.”

“Commander, when you receive The Magician card in your reading, it means you have to tap into your full potential in order to make the plan work. The Magician uses his desire to manifest his own creation, which takes a lot of effort. If you don’t anything to make the plan work, then it will never happen.”

“So, you’re telling us that our victory depends on our good timing and decision?” Mina clarified, her hands on her hips. “Of course that’s the case, Odd Eye. In that case, we must discuss our plans with the generals to make it work. Otherwise, we will lose a lot of troops along the way, and that is something we cannot afford.”

Listening to their conversation, Cody sighed and shook his head as he glanced at the tarot deck. “Are you guys seriously relying on a pack of cards to predict our outcome? You know it doesn’t work like that, right?”

Tarot denied. “Contrary to the belief, Commander, tarot deck only guides us. If we don’t like the answer the cards give, you can always change your path. It’s all up to you.”

“Okay, and are they accurate, vod’ika?”

“They have proven to be useful in the past,” Odd Eye defended her best troop. “It doesn’t give us a straight answer, but we get open-ended questions instead, which makes us interpret the reading in different ways. Tarot has its own language, Codes. There’s no one way of understanding it.”

Tarot snorted as Cody bobbed his head, pressing his lips together. “Well, if you feel it works, then I guess I can’t stop you there. But remember to come back to reality once in a while. After all, you can’t always rely on them for questions and answers all the time.”

Fair point, the purple-eyed clone crossed her arms as she watched him approach Obi-Wan.

Cody has always been the logical one back when they were merely cadets on Kamino. She finds him rigid and strict, which earned him the rank of a Marshal Commander in the first place. Odd Eye may not be close to him, but she wouldn’t mind working with him from time-to-time.

If only Tori and Rex were assigned to this mission. They were the only one who could get Cody out of his shell.

He was lucky that his Jedi General was still by his side. Cody almost lost him during the Rako trouble, and he hoped it didn’t have to end this way again. He can’t imagine his general dying in front of him. Otherwise, he would have to deal with an admiral whom he’s not familiar with, like what happened on Umbara, where he ended up losing Waxer.

General Gomez and General Almarez-Guttierez were experienced enough to lead the clone army, but Cody doesn’t know about the rest of the admirals who weren’t promoted to a higher position. His arms shuddered as he thought about an inexperienced officer in battle. They might get killed within two seconds before they know it.

If only Rex and Tori were here right now. It’s not the same without them.

“Did you find anything, sir?” the Marshal Commander asked, as Obi-Wan was watching the enemies’ movements through his binoculars. There were a few Imperial Troop Transport driving down the dirt road carrying luminescent crystals that came from the mines. He knew the planet was known for its resources, but he didn’t know the significance of the crystals, besides decoration purpose.

Obi-Wan couldn’t sense the crystals inside, hence, it was not like the kyber crystals that came from the icy planet of Illum. They were beautiful, but what’s so special about them that the Empire wanted, anyway? What was the significance of those crystals to them?

“Sir, are you there?” Cody waved his hands in front of his face, catching his attention.

“I’m here, Cody” the Jedi snapped himself to the present moment, passing his scope to his trusted commander. “The Empire is transporting the crystals towards our target location, which is the city of Mendes. I could guess that’s where their headquarters are.”

“General Kenobi has a point,” Erina acknowledged, joining their conversation. “Since Hocura is known for crystal mining, it’s no surprise that the Empire is heading there.”

“Which gives us more reason to take back Hocura from Imperial hands,” Raul pointed out, facing Obi-Wan and Cody. “If we could get our hands on these transports, we could easily take on Mendes. What do you say, Master Jedi?”

Obi-Wan stroked his beard as he hummed to himself, staring at the forest floor. The plan could work, according to him, but it’s risky. Regardless, Obi-Wan felt this was a golden opportunity to achieve their goals for the Republic’s victory. This could be the only way to defeat the Empire.

“We’ll discuss your plans with our troops,” he approved, gesturing for them to move away from the bushes. “Come on, we can’t waste anymore time. The people of Hocura needs us.”

Raul beamed to himself and could only give a thumbs up without uttering a word to him. He wasn’t close to Obi-Wan, and hearing his praise brightened his day. Erina noticed the smile on his face and placed her hand on his shoulder, sharing his sentiment. “I have faith in you, dear. I will pray to Allah for your victory out there.”

“I could say the same for you, Eri,” Raul winked at his partner. “You’re a real good fighter out in the field. Just need to watch your step, though.”

Erina chuckled, rolling her eyes. “I should be the one saying that to you. Remember what happened at the last mission?”

“Oh, come on, it was only a shoulder shot. It wasn’t even that painful. Besides, I could still move my arms around.”

“And who had to tend to your shoulder wounds?” she gave him the side-eye, making him rub the back of his neck.

“I know, I know, but hey, I also had to deal with your leg injury for a month. You know how hard it was to carry you around the base.”

Erina squinted her eyes towards him before letting out an exhale. “Well, I enjoyed being carried by you. I wish you could do that on our wedding night.”

“Oh, I will make our wedding night special, if you know what I mean,” he smirked, making her cheeks flushed.

“You have my consent to tie me up and go rough on me on a queen's bed. I like it that way.”

Obi-Wan cleared his throat, signalling them to stay focus on their mission. “You can have your intimate talk with each other after this mission is over.”

Raul and Erina chuckled as they held each other’s hand, making his lips curled upwards. Seeing another couple spending time with each other warmed his heart as his mind wondered if he could have left the Order just to be with the love of his life. Obi-Wan would love to sit underneath the cherry blossom tree with his lover, holding her hands forever.

*If only Satine is still here,* he thought, his lips turned into a frown. *She would have been safer on base, instead on Mandalore.*

“Alright guys, I have a plan,” Raul announced to the clones, as they gathered around in circles, with Commander Odd Eye and Commander Mina beside him. “Those transportswe saw earlier are heading to the Imperial Headquarters, which are at our target location, and we’re going to infiltrate it.”

Odd Eye’s orbs widened, her jaws hanging. “If all due respect, General, that sounds like a risky plan. The transport is moving, and the chances of getting shot by a droid is high.”

“I’m aware of that, commander, which is why we need someone to stall those Imps, and I think I know who is perfect for that role.”

Cody, Tarot, and Mina turned to Odd Eye, who was cradling with her baby bump. “You’ve got to be kidding me. I am not doing that, ever. There is no way I’m going to be a bait.”

“You’ll be fine, vod,” Cody assured her, patting her back. “Besides, those droids are stupid anyway. Mina and I could back you up.”

“What if my son and I get killed?” she raised her doubt. “Those droids don’t have any mercy at all. They were designed to kill anyone in sight.”

“I’ll shield you, commander,” Obi-Wan calmed her, holding his lightsaber. “I won’t let anything happen to you and your unborn child, not on my watch.”

His words made her less anxious, though doubt has clouded her mind. “I appreciate that, Master Jedi, as long as the rest of our troops captured the transport as fast as possible. The longer I stall, the more likely the plan will fail. Are you okay with that?”

The Jedi placed his hand on his chest and gave her a slight bow. “You have my word, Commander.”

Erina turned to Cody and Mina, giving them an instruction. “Stand by our troops to take those transports by force. Get the timing right. We don’t want any mistakes in our plan.”

“Yes, general,” Mina saluted, as she headed towards her battalion along with Cody to give them orders.

[honorhearted]

“But what if the opportunity presents itself? Do you not wish for the Cause to succeed at any cost?" Philomena asked, just as bewildered. "I can confidently tell you that the British do, and if you wish to one-up them, then you must be willing to take risks. I may be a ‘lowly’ actress, but I’ve learned a thing or two from my clientele. Not to mention, I’m quite accomplished in my craft. That is why you sought my help, isn’t it?” 

"Well yes, but..." Benjamin sighed, trailing off. He wasn't sure why he was suddenly so reluctant, and dragging a hand over his mouth, he shook his head. "You are not lowly," he corrected. "And unfortunately, you aren't wrong, either...in order to defeat an enemy, lowering oneself is sometimes necessary. I'm just not sure how low I can bear."

Philomena hummed. “My you certainly love the role of the knight in shining armor, don’t you, Major?”

Benjamin flushed. "I...I-I never meant..."

“But what if I’m commissioned by one of them?" she persisted. "We could easily pay someone to produce a piece for us, but how would we convince them that I’d painted it right there?”

"Dammit..." Suppressing a growl, Benjamin turned away from her and pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, irritably rubbing at the space between his eyebrows. "My ideas are all horse shite now, because I find myself incapable of thought around you," he snapped. "This is precisely why I didn't wish to breach our professionalism!"

Groaning anew, he stalked toward one end of the room and then the other. "What might have been considered 'good practice' for you is damn well near upending me, and this does nothing for our cover!"

Philomena shrugged. “Circling back to our ‘impulsive’ need to ‘have a bit of fun’ as a couple, what will you do if one of the Tory women, wives or otherwise, wishes to become intimate with you?”

"I...w-well..." Frowning, Benjamin turned to regard her.

“I fear I must say again, are you not willing to do anything for this Cause of yours Major? You’ve killed, have you not? Surely pleasing a woman who desires your company does not warrant the same level of guilt as murder?”

Murder? It was a low blow, and yet it was no less true.

"No," he whispered, his throat raw, "of course not, I just...I prefer monogamy. I am a one woman man, and..." Trailing off, he exhaled, closing his eyes. "Forgive me. It doesn't matter...you're right. My virtue is long since absconded with, so there's no sense in guarding what cannot be saved. It's just..." Slowly, his lips quirked into a threadbare smile. "The war has stolen so, so much, and I'd thought...I-I had hoped that upon my return, I could at least give that part of myself to a woman I love."

But Philomena was right. He was willing to do anything for the Cause, and arguably already had -- what was his dignity truly worth in the end? What could love save, when it had already proven incapable with Hale, Samuel and Sarah?

"Pick a profession for yourself," Benjamin decided. "You know the ways of women far better than I, so please: tell me how we met."

No children and trouble in marital paradise could be the perfect recipe for garnering sympathy as well as potential romantic attention for both of them. Mena smiled, feeling confident that this could work more favorably than either of them originally anticipated.

Benjamin, however, seemed a bit bewildered by the idea of her opening herself up to the British officers and Tory aristocrats they would no doubt draw in. 

"I would never ask that of you. In fact, I would prefer that you not resort to such methods."

“But what if the opportunity presents itself? Do you not wish for the Cause to succeed at any cost? I can confidently tell you that the British do, and if you wish to one-up them, then you must be willing to take risks. I may be a ‘lowly’ actress, but I’ve learned a thing or two from my clientele. Not to mention, I’m quite accomplished in my craft. That is why you sought my help, isn’t it?” 

"You're right," he winced. "I certainly didn't question your performance...or at least, not until the very end." 

Mena appraised him carefully then. Was he disappointed that she’d put on a show for him? It’d be a first, that much was certain. 

"Perhaps instead, you can be an artist...I came across you painting in the street, and lingered to watch you work. Hating to see you in such a state of destitution, I paid you to come home with me and paint several portraits, and from there, we fell in love."

“My you certainly love the role of the knight in shining armor, don’t you, Major?” she cooed with a smirk, “But what if I’m commissioned by one of them? We could easily pay someone to produce a piece for us, but how would we convince them that I’d painted it right there?”

Once again, it appeared they were facing an obstacle in their story weaving. They would have to conjure something much more flawless if they were going to pull this off without being discovered in the process.  

“Circling back to our ‘impulsive’ need to ‘have a bit of fun’ as a couple, what will you do if one of the Tory women, wives or otherwise, wishes to become intimate with you?”

"Although I understand what you're saying, I...I just don't think I could indulge in that sort of approach. My moral scruples...Well, beyond today, I've always tried to keep myself on the straight and narrow. To degrade myself, even for the Cause is just...I-I don't think I should. Or at least, nothing beyond some harmless flirtation."

“I fear I must say again, are you not willing to do anything for this Cause of yours Major? You’ve killed, have you not? Surely pleasing a woman who desires your company does not warrant the same level of guilt as murder?”

[stray-tori]

An Innocent Sin & the good gay flashback ft. my descent into madness

I wasn’t sure if I should post this but I mostly want it archived so here we go. This is from like,, September?

So. “An Innocent Sin” is a dumpster fire unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I don’t remember why I decided to read it. maybe I was crazy. Either way... I read it. It soon started to touch upon (very very outlandish) sexual abuse which I thought was interesting. (the angst, not so much some of the wack circumstances surrounding it)

ANYWAY. at some point... we have a flashback. And not just that. It has a gay character.

And it turns rly gay. which mind you, is still in a het smut manwha (that has a “gay” side couple, but still!)

And it destroyed me.

For those who want to read it because I genuinely think the flashback is a decent bit, it’s all the bonus chapters between chapter 77 and 78 I think. There’s a part before that too, but idk where exactly anymore. (It’s on lezhin! or your platform of choosing)

I don’t THINK you’ll need any other knowledge to get the flashback bit? but it’s been a while.

Below the cut (rip mobile users), you can read all of my amazing reactions (all of these were text messages, for context - but I took most of the replies and convos about other things out). Post is also tagged as long post. :))

(i’m serious, this is fucking long)

__________

Here I am. Liking the gay flashback character. Feck. Main dude is still straight but idk it's cute pff

This is a mess. The girl white hair likes, likes black hair, maybe, but thinks white hair is attractive

What just happened is sth I'd like to know too pff He's so cute tho omg. Watch me melt Can we stay in this flashback before everything got perverted af and before white hair gets assaulted all the time I would send an eyebrow emote if I could Context: he's asking he says it again

Ik it's not mutual but loookkk he's so sweet. He's kinda rude in present time, can't we stay in this flashback forever

I never asked for gay, never expected gay but I got gay

This story is trash why am I still reading it shdhhd

He caught his mom cheating. And now she's forcing him to watch??? What is thissss Well adoptive mom But still sudhdidu what Bitch how dare YOU exist

Save my babyyyy

Yay sister that's not yet a rapist to the rescueee

This flashback is actually just nicer in every way let's just stay here This is a super long flashback btw Idek anymore what triggered it

Okay I think I'm gonna make the sensible decision and let this dumpster fire rest and just go sleep

It was very wild. I kinda wanna see white hair get therapy but it has 90 chapters and I'm at like 30... So I'm very concerned this is gonna be very dragged out. Idek if it's even finished ahahsududi - but I do kinda wanna see where it goes and see more cute Noah (white hair) so. Here we are.

yeahhh like i was down for the sexual abuse angst but then the mother killed the adoptive son's mother bc the dad had a thing for her?? and it was someone a person studying with white hair knew and so he's investigating and I'm like how did this turn into a crime organisation kind of plot

hhhhhhh i... i appreciate these horny things also tackling abuse but it always kind of gives me weird vibes to have both, especially when its very horny. And when people are horny to people who've been abused. Idk but I'd assume... you might try NOT to tie them up if they're frequently bondaged during their assaults. I'm just.... disjdksdj hello?? am i weird?? why are they fine with it???

also this manwha is so wild, theres this murder mystery investigation thing and then theres just a couple doing honry stuff sprinkled in between and i'm like OKAY

they rescued a guy in their basement and he's understandably very traumatized and they're trying to question him cut to our main couple trying bondage which i still dont understand bECAUSE HE'S A RAPE VICITM WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS the ones questioning arent the main couple of course but idshkjds

like im glad he's somehow okay with all this horny stuff despite his trauma and im glad he can be happy and have a nice relationship but DO WE NEED THIS MUCH OF IT he's very cute tho

i like that even when i try other stuff lezhin recommends me it still has large amount of gay in it

[mei: i mean... that's pretty great, if you ask me]

I mean I agree, I'm enjoying the gay eheheh these tonal whiplashes there's not even that much white space between the panels fhjd nvm it just turned horny goddamn it can there be 1 chapter without fucking? okay, there were the flashbacks

WE ARE BACK IN FLASHBACKS but im not getting the gay relationship, sad

OH WAIT AM I GETTING GAY COMFORT bc thats very good too

OH NNOOO this turned sad very quickly

I'M SORRY IM SPAMMING BUT THIS IS JUST ANGSTY

I'M :((((

different species confirmed

I rly like them :((( I like the current girl too but it's just..... very horny with her. the flashbacks are nice [current tori edit: she’s very unloyal idk why i said I liked her] im weird HHHHH RIPPP 

someone help him he looks so saddddd

not sure if thats the most healthy relationship but I'LL TAKE IT

AWWW black hair's mom cooks mild food for them bc Noah can't eat spicy food :((( im soft

PFFF

I LOVE THE FLASHBACKS :(((

awww

i feel like theyve done much more bonding than noah's current relationship. I mean yes I think its cute when she comforts him, too, but they rarely do anything besides be horny together

OH OH THEY'RE KISSING

best buildup, honestly

the position is hornier than I'd like later here goes hope it stays cute

D-did someone just respect the word "stop"??? I am amazed

i think you might uh. have some trauma stuff too so yknow

Dohye is a little dramatic in his reassurance but it's all rly cute so I'm :(( I like them a lot pls stay like this getting invested in flashbacks is always like: ik it wont stay but pls stay like this

hELP

chapters ending in "i wanna touch him" is never good. I'm scared. Oh okay he didnt do anything. PHEW. He's already better than the girl, can't they just end up together lmao

[Noah was jealous]

w-why do you look so evil dohye haukdhjs

oh. oh no. the horny is starting. pls dont... just be cute forever

DOHYE NO YOU WERE SO DECENT WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT KOREAN TRADITIONS TO GET HIM TO DO STUFF HORNY STUFF TOO NO PLS STOP I JUST- WHEEE TvT the manwha is actually less visually horny in the flashbacks but im not sure if its bc its BL which isnt rly the genre of the manwha or if its bc they're still kids basically, which... I'd respect the latter, tho I'd prefer it to be like this constantly haha

okay. he's not respecting stop anymore, but it's also more of embarrassed nature more than "no i dont want this stop" so maybe i can forgive it. Still losing points, but he hugged him and it was sweet so HHHHHHHHHHH NOT SURE HOW I SHOULD JUDGE THIS SITUATION

They [Noah’s family] forbid him to visit his friends house I AM DEVASTATED

understandable they're a rapist, a fucked up murderer mother and a father with a thing for younger women so

tho he dont know any of that but yknow he's so pretty just fucking end me on the spot

hooo

they are boyfriends and ik from the future that his sister is gonna ruin it allll she has those drugs that make visual imaginations feel like they rly happened to the person (dont know if thats real but holy fuck its terrifying) and she's used it before to say that Noah assualted her. and im pretty sure shes gonna use it again bc there was a panel of Noah remembering Dohye being uhhhh intimate with her and thats why Noah began to hate him and im so sad im not ready for it. bc he's denied it in the future and i honestly couldnt see it happening even before that or she drugged Dohye, i guess thats a possibility too

[current tori: oh girl, it’s neither and it’s wack]

which if, btich you gonna die even more enough rambling, more reading. this makes me so sad but also spicy

on the manwha note, he thinks Noah doesnt like his family bc he's adopted and doesnt feel comfy which....... fair enough i suppose. and he's so cute im gonna melt just looK AT THIS 

SHUt UP, IM GONNA CRY

OH MY GODDDD he ate like ice and gum and all that, and Dohye assumed it was bc of the more spicy food and got rl worried, but he was just trying to get the smell out of his breath bc he wanted to kiss him ukhsdjs HOW CAN YOU BE SO CUTE HELLLOOOOOOOOO

look at them. LOOK AT mY BABIESSSS

how am i ever gonna care about the main couple again aww he-he wanted to go to the same highschool as him :((( im sad bc i know its not gonna happennnnnn

[mei: also at this point, you're literally never gonna care about them. i don't even know the main couple that well and i honestly don't care about them whatsoever.]

WAIT NO they're actually going to the same school awww ik it wont take long until sister fucks it up for them but for now theyre so sweet ohmygodddd

cant he move in with them, fuck his family honestly

dohye he's not a fucking pokemon iukhsdjs

oh. its. turning horny i am displeased with this development but i guess its natural for their relationship however COULD YOU DO IT AT HOME AND NOT IN SOME DUSTY SMALL ROOM how do ppl do this i like that the comments too are just "... is anyone still carng about the other girl?" sakjds

this is the best 3 panels in existence.

h-he just took your hand dohye idk what to tell you

[mei: "you blush at everything i do" god if that isn't me, idk what is]

awww its cute dohye is getting bonus points bc he invited Noah over while his mom wasnt home, they watched some sexual stuff and he DIDNT try to do anything what is this where can i get more of this

"well im not okay"

MY BABIESSSS 

they still didnt do much btw they're just kinda exploring and its honestly nice TvT I dont want this to ever endddd

[Dohye sees Noah’s sister and approaches her] N O

N OOOO

this is the starttttt of something.......... TERRIBLEEEE 

:((( babyyyy

I AM EMO

Noah was drugged im sure. hes having dreams and waking up in pain and the sister is asking doyhe over I DONT LIKE THISSSSSSS OH HE DECLINED

OKAY OKAY he saw him with her again but it was from behind and im not sure if it rly happened??? oh no this is terrible. Noah :((( poor child

i am so emo about this

[reminder he’s been abused TvT]

[the sister: “Don’t you want to know why?”]

i will. murder someone he called to ask her to delete his number btw what is this manwha but this is just gonna make it that more tragic when whatever happens that breaks them apart :(((

he's such a good bf but Noah just wont TELL him his side I'M SO SAD

I AM SO SAD

No

NO

It cant end im actually tearing up nooo you were so cuteeee and happpyyy

[*sister is telling dohye to come to the gym hall*]

what else is she gonna do she already teared [current tori: ahem... T O R E] them apart THAT'S NOT DOYhE. THATS NEVER HIM. OH MY GOD. is it a look alike??? damn, she's dedicated to just. ruining it, huh

I’M

I’M SO SAD

now he's switching SCHOOLS NO NOOOOO how will i ever find happiness againnnn NO they're misunderstanding further they're not talking properly i mean i get it but oh my god

I'M :((( 

NO NOOOO pls make up in the future at least omg he tried to clear it up tooo ahhh i dont even have hopes for them getting back together but i just i want them to clear it up im crying first manwha to make me cry and it's this dumpster fire ahaha maybe a little too bc it kinda hit a little close to home i guess but goddamnn ittttt they were so cuteee and so happy and AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OH NO. Noahs getting drugged and assaulted. And he's realizing it happened before, he just forgot. I am. so sad it's not horny drawn either which i appreciate but MY HEART NO

N O DONT YOU DARE MAKE THIS WORSE

Im. gonna cry more 

Doyhe kept an eye on him im so emo :(( but he thought he was doing well enough and gave up.... Im im so sad no i want you to make up and get back together its all just a stupid........... MEHHHH will i ever find sth like this flashback again

[mei: p-probably not, no]

i am so devasted i dont even wanna go back to the main couple just fucking. i want this relationship back :(((( but i guess the investigation might end up somewhere so hhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh the baker manwha had a similar flashback feeling so. i just gotta find more of that haha

BUT THIS WAS SO SAD??? im so emo

[Dohye got kidnapped // the flashback commentary stops here but I think my descend into madness is pretty funny too]

OH YEAH THAT HAPPENED. THE FLASHBACK WAS SO LONG I FORGOT. NOOOO SAVE HIM. JESUS CHRIST PLS JUST ONE GOOD THING

its. actually rly smart to have another, more focused on them flashback, before the arc where he gets kidnapped by the rapist murder household so. good job. from a meta perspective but also NO but also. maybe theres hope for them making up at least after all :(((

[main couple kissing] this is. very weird now. but im glad he has someone, he deserves it but dohyeeeee

and switching to sex, YET AGAIN now i wanna see this EVEN LESS THAN I DID BEFOREEEE it's even.... a threesome now with one of the other characters why are you like this why can't you be. like in the flashback i am so upset HAHHHHH WHEEEZEEEE

I am just stop fucking jesus christ PLEASE I DONT WANNA SEE IT ANYMOREEEEE

im just stop the horny pls just tell me who that new guy is and why doyhe likes him so much

[mei: this manwha is a fucking mess but at least we got your lovely commentary out of it]

dhsuksj thanks i feel honored at least i got cute BL out of it before everything went [back] to shit

[mei: THAT TOO]

[...]

tbh im getting kinda mad about doyhe... i dont... feel like he'd just fall instantly for a guy who looks like Noah... but eh not my character

i just want closure for dohye at this point, fuck everything else ... not literally pls theres already too much of that

pls get it together for like 1 chapter is the investigation even still happening i am so confused save dohye plEASE wait what i have less than 10 episodes left Dont tell me this shit isnt even wrapped up yet

[Dohye is having a breakdown over the Noah double not coming to see him anymore]

yeah i this... doesnt feel like Dohye... at all... Even when Noah was rejecting him he was just kind of... taking it with some humor and maybe he was a little desperate and risky sometimes but... oh well... i do want him to get better but... im having a hard time believeing this development??? he never seemed overly anxious or anything. but who knows what else they did to him. Sister can still go fuck off tho

[...]

i mean. i liked the flashbacks a lot honestly??? it stayed simple and focused on the dynamics and less trying to balance smut with murder plots

[dm partner: NO THAT'S WHAT I MEAN LIKE CLEARLY THE AUTHOR CAN MAKE A GOOD STORY SO I'M JUST... CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY DIDN'T STICK WITH SOME SOFT, FLUFFY BL ROMANCE MANWHA AND DECIDED TO MAKE WHATEVER THIS IS INSTEAD ]

okay i dont care bc dohye is currently getting assaulted nobody asked for this why i just. this is terrible. he was... so sweet. he doesnt deserve this. nobody does of course but jesus christ pls someone save him at least its not horny visually, one saving grace

ah... the assult is back to being depicted horny-ly thank you for nothing

[... removed some general confusion about the plot]

YES. SOME SHIP FOOD.

i am. suffering i mean i cant stop but GOD

okay so apparantly. the sister. has just an arsenal of people who look like other people Dohye, then Noah... and even Noah's GF??? this is ridiculous??

one good message 

why 

did you feel the need to add that [actual tired rage]

im gonna die this manwha is gonna kill me im laughing but im suffering oh hes arrested great and thats the end and the last update was in january of this year

why AS IN NOAH IS ARRESTED nobody who actually did anything is arrested What is this why is this AHHH I at least wanted the complete-ness of finishing this but now I'M JUST SUFFERING

[ mei: I MEAN TO BE FAIR I'D BE SUFFERING TOO BC JUST... WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE?? MANY QUESTIONS?? AND MANY CONCERNS BC THIS MANWHA IS JUST... AN EXPERIENCE ]

its an experience allright WELL

_______________

yup that’s it.

in my head, in a twist of events Dohye and Noah make up and are actual endgame. Something like that must exist out there but I won’t ask because it’d destroy the surprise and ruin the point.

That’s it.

Have a nice day.

[dxmedstudent]

Got lured onto twitter to support BLM and afterwards got embroiled in conversation over the UK’s #sexban. I’m tired of twitter, and it’s hard to express yourself in a few characters, so I thought I’d share some thoughts here. Which is really just the tories declaring outright that sex between people living in two households is now illegal and punishable with a £50 fine. Given that households haven’t been allowed to mix, you’re nto allowed into anyone’s house and the 2m rule still applies, it was always ‘banned’ - those of us in that situation were already aware of our obligations. FWIW I’ve followed every recommendation before and after lockdown, because I’m a doctor and I want to decrease ANY spread as much as possible, until things are relaxed enough that our meeting isn’t a particularly big risk to others in the context of what’s going on. It’s not fun, and it kind of feels like the govt forgets people like you when its revising its plans and opening Primarks, but you think of the patients, and you continue.  But this law in particular pissed me off today. It was already covered in existing rules - so why explicitly banning sex? What message are they trying to send? That they have no intention to ease the lockdown on our personal lives any time soon? How are they going to enforce the fine? Are we going to turn every time a lockdown rule is broken into something we fine people for, and will that just make people see it as something minor if they can afford the fine? Obviously, we have to have a cut-off somewhere. We have to try to decrease transmissibility where we can. And for the most part the initial rules seemed fairly sensible. But telling people they can’t be intimate with 1 person,  but they can have a barbecue with 6, go shopping, watch footballers touch each other, and travel to work and sit with colleagues feels like the rules are arbitrary and not particularly fair. Weirdly I’ve been roped into twitter conversation with some ex-immunology researcher re: the fact that covid viral RNA has been found in semen say 14 days after infection. And that apparently this therefore means the policy isn’t arbitrary and it isn’t prioritising the economy over personal lives.  I have to disagree. They argue that this is about sexual transmissibility, but I disagree. The thing is, this isn’t really about transmissibility. We don’t know enough about when covid stops being transmissible. We don’t know if a negative test means you can’t transmit it any more. I welcome any research that helps us gauge risk and know more about how we can stop spreading the virus. But we don’t know what kind of viral load allows for infection via different routes. How can we separate the risk from PIV (etc) transmission from a recently infected person from the risks of them spreading it through aerosolised droplets? Now, when I was sick, I was allowed back to work with vulnerable patients after 8 days, despite my OH consultant being clear that we’re not really sure how long people are infectious for, and the government recommendations appear to be arbitrary. Other places recommend 14 days. Clearly we have to say at some point that people are allowed out, and that their risk of transmission has at some point. But a rule telling me that I can go back to work after 7 days with a cough, but can’t have sex with my BF (in case - what? one of us is an asymptomatic suffer and less than 14 days after infection?) is not based on evidence, and it does, from the outside appear rather arbitrary.  I was concerned to go back to work. I’m still concerned about how many people have been rushed back to work. I’m concerned over how people who’ve been exposed in the community are meant to self isolate, but HCW aren’t even tested unless we show symptoms - imagine all the asymptomatic spread. This isn’t about whether some of us go a bit longer without sex (frankly, it’s barely about the sex at all), it’s about how inconsistent the rules are, and how the government apply the letter of the law in cases where the risk is low and yet allow people who were shielding out, and force them back to work where they may not be adequately protected. Because I guess even if you’re asymptomatic you need to never have sex EVER just in case you spread infection. But is it really more likely to be from uh... mixing genital fluids, or from coughing in each other’s faces? And why can’t the answer simply be to use a condom if we’re worried about fluids? But only if you’re in different households. Those in the same household have never been advised not to have sex, though they have been advised to isolate themselves if possible, if they are sick. But in general the rules allow people within the same household to live normally. They accept that people in the same household will likely get infected -though in reality they shouldn’t cos it’s not 100%. Imagine if we told everyone in the same household ‘well, there’s a chance you might not pass it to each other, so can all of you sit 2m apart and not touch’?. That’d probably reduce infections too, by a certain number, but it’d be pretty unpopular and hard to enforce. But if we’re going to pretend this is about sexual transmissibility ... sexual health policy has never been “don’t have sex” - not in the longterm. That’s not how we treat people with HIV or any other communicable disease  - we tell people to use protection and get tested. We try to manage risk as much as possible. And as our planning reaches more chronic stages, we’re going to have take much more advice from those who’ve been managing infectious illness, particularly in the context of people’s intimate lives, for a hell of a lot longer than we have. Your sexual health colleagues can tell you how to engage people with infection prevention, how to avoid marginalising people like sex workers (anyone remember them? yep, they sill exist and still need to survive). This bugs me not only cos it’s a bit of a personal fuck you to couples in my position who’ve been following the rules from the start, but also because it’s not based on sexual health practice. All the recommendations have to be based on some kind of risk assessment  -the 2m rule. How many households you can mix with. Whether going to someone else’s garden is safe. Everything we allow - even shopping, even accepting a takeaway -  has some kind of risk - it may be low, but it is not zero. I’m worried that the government has given the message that it’s perfectly safe to go back to work (it’s not, commuting and social distancing still carries risk) or shop and do other outdoor activities (again, still some risk) or send kids to school (even if the kids don’t have conditions, their teachers or parents may be at risk!). They’ve relaxed a lot of rules all at once. I’m terrified for the vulnerable. I’ll socially distance for as long as I have to if it keeps people safe, but I have real concerns about how they’ve gone about relaxing things, and there are a lot of reports about people not following social distancing advice. After all the relaxed rules, and with the Cummings debacle, there’s a danger that people will all think the rules no longer really apply. What annoys me is that they appear to be inconsistent and arbitrary. And I no longer have any faith that the government is makng decisions based on scientific advice, and risk stratifying appropriately. I honestly think they are making much riskier decisions in order to open the economy, and then nominally keeping lockdown in ways that only limit social contact in small but meaningful ways because that’s not the economy. 

[scalamore]

(Thoughts) Rupert - “Transactional” bonds

I just love how consistent Rupert’s characterization is. The slight manhwa change in Ch 111 bothered me (?) - not because it was bad, but because it highlighted Rupert’s current mindset on his relationship with Lari and how he thinks of ANY relationship with anyone is a transaction - if you want something, you have to give something in return that the other person wants.

This reflects his consistent characterization:

A master of alchemy, where the principle of the discipline is “equivalent exchange” - to use it, he must use a part of his life/blood for maximum strength and efficiency of a technique

He cared for his mother very much, and endured her abuse because studying hard and doing well, learning alchemy, ingesting poisons made her happy. He suffered all that and dealt with it, because he liked to see her “happy”, or at least satisfied/pleased, even if he knew she didn’t love him at all.

He wanted the position of emperor, so he did whatever the crazy Emperor wanted and more just so he could earn that position with his hard work and diligence.

He only trusts Tori because it’s ingrained in her the [order] to listen and serve him. Eva created her as a tool, and that’s it. He gives her orders, she fulfills them

He pays Louis a high salary for his loyalty and service.

He helps out Fassbender, in order to help obtain control over the merchant groups.

That’s his character: Rupert’s interactions with everyone around him involves some sort of give and take transaction. That’s all that he knows.

It’s stated over and over in the series that Rupert feels lacking in the sense he’s never known affection his whole life: He’s never received it from anyone, so he’s incredibly awkward when he tries to fulfill Lari’s request of being someone he cherishes.

But the thing is, just like any other emotion, “affection” comes naturally to him when he’s around Lari. For him, it naturally manifests as wanting to see her happy, healthy and safe. He wants to be with her all the time, so his only wish is that she stay by his side, and doesn’t expect anything from her. She just has to stay where she has been, as she has done over the years. He just wants to keep their current, comfortable every day life at the palace. But of course, he’s very anxious about that: if all he knows is a give-and-take relationship. What happens when Lari doesn’t want anything from him? He’s stuck. He feels he has nothing tangible to offer her. He tries to encourage her to think of something, ANYTHING she wants from him, to reassure him that she’ll stay. Rupert has absolutely no concept of the possibility of a selfless love, where a person can choose to be with someone just because they want to. He doesn’t even realize that that’s what he’s feeling towards Lari as well: he just wants to be beside her, he doesnt want anything from her. He doesn’t expect any special feelings from her either. As bad as it sounds, Rupert is ‘correct’ when he says that [He wants Lari]. It sounds so negative, so possessive and obsessive… but when you think about it, it’s because again, that’s all he knows because that’s what he’d experience with Crazy Emperor.

All he knows is that Crazy Emperor was obsessed with Eva, and wanted her so badly he ruined her. Rupert doesn’t realize that his own desire for Lari is different, because as horny as he is for her, he values Lari’s happiness above all. Yes, he has moments where he wants to grab her and kiss her and be intimate, and has a burning desire to touch her —- but he resists it every time, because he knows Lari won’t consent to it and will hate him if he goes out of bounds. That detail is soooooo important, because it makes him leaps and bounds different from the crazy Emperor. Rupert cannot become him, as he truly loves Lari and cannot hurt her in any way, because he cares for her to the extent where if she’s hurt, he feels hurt too, and if she’s sick and dying, he feels miserable as if he’s the one hurt too. That’s the lesson that Rupert learns during the separation: of what he truly wants from Lari, and what he wants from her too.

That’s what makes manhwa chapter 111 so powerful to me, is because Rupert doesn't recognize the extent of his feelings. He almost lost Lari to the fire, and he’s about to lose her (seemingly) forever again. He’s so desperate, begging her to tell him what she wants, he will give it to her. If she hates him she can hit him, if she wants everything he’ll give it all to her. This is so powerful, in that he’s now the Emperor, he has everything, he’s at the top of it all - but in one moment, he’s literally on his knees, begging her to reconsider her decision and offering EVERYTHING he has - his life, and his life’s work. It’s just so messy, desperate, pathetic even that he has to grovel like that. He stood strong towards everything, but now he’s just a weak, pitiful, kid begging a powerless girl not to leave.

But again, Rupert’s current relationship with Lari is just so vague and uncertain. Whatever their fragile bond was, couldn’t last and inevitably would break off (in this case, super dramatically). It’s also so powerful to see Lari be upset at Rupert’s desperation: she still doesn’t want anything from him, She doesn’t WANT to see him grovel and beg her for anything. She doesn’t want a relationship like that, where it’s something give or take. So she’s firm and says no, and leaves. And of course, Rupert loves her too much, so he allows it even if he doesn’t want to. Because he can’t bear it to be the reason if she’s sad and crying all day. He will never force or trap her in any way for her to choose death again.

Unfortunately, while a lot of his current thinking is from his experience, another part is an emotional block from Eva: she had told him that as long as he’s alive, no one will love him. After all, he’s an unwanted bastard child, whose mother didn’t love him either. He’s a fake, how could ANYONE love him? So he internalized that for years, and had no expectation that ANYONE, even Lari, would even see him positively like that. So he chose to just be nice to her, cherish her the best he could because she requested it, and also because he wanted to be nice to her and treat her well. The moment we find out Rupert’s lightbulb moment during the separation where he FINALLY, finally realizes that he should try to earn Lari’s affections and have her like him back…. Is such an awkward, “wow you are such a loser/dork Rupe…” moment because it’s just THAT obvious. IN his 19 years of life, Rupert NEVER considered the possibility that Lari could fall in love with him, he didn’t make particular efforts to woo her, didn’t think of a romantic relationship with her until after she left. It literally took him FOREVER to figure out such a simple thing (its ok rupe, I love how dorky you are, ur a learning boi ^^)

But yes, I find the moment where Rupert learns that not all love is a transatctional give -or-take, but rather romantic love exists, especially a selfless one where two people mutually care for each other and doens’t want anything from the other (except to be together) is a thing. Because it’s so rewarding to see Rupelali as a couple later: Lari chooses to be with him because of love; she doesn’t want anything from him, except to be with him and support him as always. Same with Rupert - he only wants to be with her, doesn’t expect anything from her, but also gives her the greatest possible gift: he allows her to continue living life how she wants = her freedom, independence, and maybe continue to include him in “her world”. :)

[handsofdarkness]

Within Temptation’s singer Sharon den Adel …” I love vocalists who are emotional”

1. Tell us a little bit about the band and how long you have been together for some of our readers that may not know about the band?

We started as a band in 1996, but there was another band before Within Temptation, called ‘The Circle’. Most members who are in Within Temptation, have been in ‘The Circle’ as well and it was the exact same kind of music. So we’ve been together a little longer and started out early nineties. We’ve actually known each other since we were teenagers.

2. What got you into music and what keeps you going night after night playing?

When I look at the band, most of our parents have all been music lovers, so everybody has had a dose of good music coming from their families when growing up. I always had and I know a lot of others that had it too, so that got us into music. What keeps us going night after night, is just the fun of being together with band and crew, the joy that we have of playing live and the interaction with the audience: that is the best high you can get!

3. So, what is new with the band?..New Album out? New Videos?

We have a new single out called ‘Entertain You’. It’s about people being different and being treated that way: There’s always a group of people that don’t fit in and somehow we always have a need to emphasize that they do not fit in by singling them out, cornering them in all sorts of ways – think of viral videos, fights on the streets et cetera. These people didn’t ask to be different, they didn’t want to be different: people are just different. And that’s beautiful! The beauty is that by being different, these people bring so much color to our society, since our society is so uniform! These people are not here for our entertainment. If we don’t realise that, it’s maybe time for bit more self reflection and wonder why you are participating in such behaviour.

4. If you didn’t become a musician, what would you be doing right now?

Something with fashion, because I have a bachelor’s degree in fashion.

5. What is the weirdest or funniest question you have ever been asked?

To sign the weirdest stuff – body parts mostly!

6. If you can have your fans remember you for one thing, what would that be?

I hope they’ll remember us for our passion and the energetic interaction with the band – connected to beautiful personal memories that’ll last a lifetime!

7. On a scale of one to 2593, How good is your new single compared to your last single? (my attempt at humor, but please still answer)

Don’t ask me, ask the fans ;-). It’s like choosing between your favorites!

8. What do you feel is the best song you have released to date and why?

I like our newest single of course and at this moment, but there will always be a new one.

9. Do you think you can get any better as a musician/singer? And if so, How would you achieve that?

I think you never stop learning actually. I am still learning and I love it every single day. If you stop learning, then you stop living: nothing becomes relevant when you’re not developing yourself and I think that’s the most boring and depressing thing ever – if I have nothing left to learn!

10. If you could give your fans one random fact about you that you think they should (or should “not” know) about you what would that be?

As a kid I lived in different countries all around the world: Indonesia, Surinam and Yemen. I’ve also travelled with my parents in a super cool Volkswagen van in Australia & America!

11. You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why?

Turquoise, since it’s my favorite color!

12. Who are you inspired by?

I’ve been inspired by many – starting with a lot of country music artists like Olivia Newton John, The Eagles straight into Janis Joplin and then came Kurt Cobain/Nirvana and Tori Amos. I love vocalists who are emotional, vocalists that have a certain kind of melancholy, pureness or rawness to them.

13. What’s an average day like for you?

There are no average days in my life. Also now with quarantine, everything has turned upside down! But  I like to go day by day.

14. Please discuss how you interact with and respond to fans?

I’m very easy to approach to my opinion, but I do find it important to be respectful both ways always.

15. Have you ever dealt with performance anxiety?

I’m still battling that haha ;-)! Especially at the beginning of a new tour I really have to get into it. My guitar player Ruud always reminds me of the fact that this is has always been always our biggest dream, to perform live as a band for a huge audience. It all starts with the fact that we are in the position to perform for so many people and every time he mentions that, it helps me relax and I enjoy every single second of it!

16. Tell me about your favorite performance venues?

It’s different every time. I like small venues because its more intimate but I also like bigger venues because then you can do more live – have flames and implement all kinds of stuff on stage that will make the show visually more interesting to watch. ‘Black Symphony’ is one of the most beautiful shows we’ve ever done: we’ve implemented street theater and collaborated with The Metropole Orchestra and Pa’dam Choir in front of 10.000 fans

17. What advice would you have for someone wanting to follow in your footsteps?

It’s important most that when you start a band and you want to stand out from the crowd, that you add something unique to your music. Something that no one has done before and is very rare. So your own identity is the most important thing that you can add to music.

[sunset-novice-writer]

Love’s Twisted Nature

Dedicated  to @vermiliren

Happy belated one anniversary for your blog! ( I wanted to put it out on the day of it. Still, I hope you enjoy this--yes, more chapters will come depending if you want  another)

Oliver Luna x  Fem! Reader

Summary :

At the first thought that crossed your mind when meeting him, his confession surprised you. When you glanced at his shy expression with a flush dusting his cheeks expectantly waiting for an answer. You couldn’t give him one belief that his interest was far-fetched. Oliver Luna seemed outwardly lovable, and cute with the concept of him being a perfect boyfriend material. Still. you went on instinct to the advice of your friends, encouragement to you agree. 

While the two of you progress your relationship, you wonder what else he seemed to hide. More secrets seemed to along the way uncover Oliver’s darker personality.

Side note: I don’t condone yanderes. And their unhealthy relationship tendencies. This is just something I wrote. As for warning tags, I will add them when it comes up. I will work on adding tags, warnings for this story with the chapters they will be in.

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| Confession..?  |

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Heading out with a few friends was the plan for your day, as the weather was comfortable. Since the summer most everyone was out chatting idly about their plans. Those were the few things that you listened to in passing before shifting back to your friends immersed in their own chatter.Still, you found yourself tuning back into the conversation about bits from Fallon’s date night with her boyfriend, with Jenna and Tori gushing over their moments of fluff. 

You never really understood the whole relationship portion of life though you understood the mechanics to some degree.It’s just that the whole situation seemed to be a disinteresting subject at the same time you found yourself a little curious regarding topics like this. Love. All things considered were complete emotions, yet with how it affected your life you just showed--a neutral feelings on the topic. 

The day did call for a soft rain to hit today lifting your head up to see the clouds start to  turn a tiny shade more grey.  At least you could spend away from home since your work constantly  managed to be abruptly countering the plans you made with  your friends. Well, you all planned to see a remake of some chick flick movie--which you didn’t mind, but you never found yourself being able to relate with the lack of your experience.

“{Y/N], what are you wrapped up in thinking about now?”Fallon chuckled, causing you to look over at her.While Jenna and Tori gave  you soft sighs.You just shrugged your shoulders in response giving your usually blunt answer. 

“Just usually nothing really, but I kinda zone out.” You answered honestly, with Jenna giving a huff with the usual pout that grew on you, and annoyed you all in the same setting. Tori just faced palm herself  though you found yourself wanting to giggle almost wishing for a sweatdrop to appear with it.

Fallon slung her arm over your shoulder while giving the other two girl’s a grin. She replied in understanding,” I know you both love to gush of your boyfriends. Yet, I have to agree I don’t want to hear about their dick stroke game.  [Y/N]’s a novice when it comes to coupley things you both are used too.”

She always came to your defense because you didn’t want to hear about your friend's intimate details. In reality you knew when those two sighed dreamily it was going toward that direction. Jenna smirked at Fallon with  Tori nodding in agreement sometimes you felt left out--then again the drama you heard from the trio made it seem like an exhausting routine. 

Somehow that smirk the brunette held staring directly at you for the briefest moments. Honestly, you wondered if they were planning something which you couldn’t tell what it was this time.Whatever it was you hoped that it wasn't  something completely over the top like the last incident.

“Today, is special because we wanted to surprise you with something.”Tori bubbly excitement answered, she was literally bouncing from side to side like a puppy excited for an exquisite treat.Now, you found your features scrunching up in confusion glancing at them all for a moment--this was starting to get weird, like much weirder than usual.

“Seriously, you guys what are you planning...now?”You  glanced each of them  suspiciously, their smirks seemed to be more amused than ever.It made you think in that moment to recall the beginning of the day--getting dolled up soft make up, cute top, denim shorts with thigh high socks, boots,and tiny jeweled peridot earrings.

A date…?  DId your friends set you up on a date ?

After the last one they tried to set up, and the guy got kicked in the balls...Ugh, I better put a stop to this soon.

“[Y/N], [Y/N}!”

 A call of your name shifted your attention away from the thoughts clouding your mind.You glanced up at Fallon’s hand waving in your face snapping your eyes  to her brown ones. “What?” You asked, your voice had a bit of a snap to it though you saw her face fall a little, and sighed a little bit giving a murmur of an apology,”Sorry about that Fal.”

“It’s fine, [N/n].” She accepted a part of her and wondered how this news would affect you when they learned some guy wanted to confess his feelings for you. Yet, the trio knew that this would be something you wouldn’t take notice of plus maybe it might help you learn. Instead of showing that flicker of wonder when you saw them go on dates. Before distracting your mind with whatever your thoughts were.

“Yeah, don’t worry.”Tori  reassured, she gave your hand an assuring squeeze and the action comforted you. A little bit of the apprehension was there despite that a nagging curiosity inside your mind rathered  tiptoed on the edge of outright asking. Maybe waiting a little bit trying to jump the gun.  

“Alright, I know you want the deets.”Jenna said, finally speaking up though the other two were blocking your vision when you heard another pair of footsteps show up. One that was foreign to you hearing the sound of her happy voice as she addressed you,”Someone wanted to tell you something...His story was just too cute not to help him..”

Tori chimed in chipper as ever,”Yup, you gotta hear him out at least [Y/n].” That caused you to raise a delight brow shifting your gaze to Fallon who gave you the one of kind thumbs up. Welp, you did at least see what this would turn into, not like the day seemed too bad anyway.

“Okay, I’ll do it.” You reluctantly agreed to the term. There was a part of you that couldn't deny that your curiosity was getting the better of you.When you saw the smiles and a grin  greeting the three of them decided to take off leaving you to meet whoever they hid from you. Still, you went to step forward wanting to get a good look at who this guy happened to be.

He took a few nervous gaits, keeping his focus on you, as his onyx eyes looked into your own. His cheeks flushed contrasting his terracotta complexion with his fingers fumbling together anxiously. You head tilted to the side at him, it was more perplexed  about  what he wanted from you still the guy seemed to be fearful with whatever he wanted to  ask you. 

You took in the guy’s overall visage from his squishable cheek that suited his baby face---did his blush just deepen when he caught you staring. Was that even possible? Right  at the moment, maybe focusing on this wasn’t the best thing to do since he wanted to talk to you. 

The soft rain started to drip down more than it has been this afternoon. His short dark hair began to clung to his forehead.You noticed a fraction of annoyance guessing he wasn’t a fan of the rain making you giggle slightly. With that sound, his eyes shifted back to almost immediately with the fresh bundle of nervousness appearing in his eyes once again. A few feet away lost in eager giggles hearing a Fallon murmur for them to ‘shut up’. Hmm, the awkward silence starts to settle over you both a bit more so maybe speaking up would ease his nerves a bit. 

“H-hey, [Y/n]...” He stammered, eyes staying you trying to swallow down his fear to speak with you while you waited patiently. Besides, you knew what he wanted to say though you found yourself wanting to hear him voice. Not to be mean, it’s just you found yourself unsure about the whole situation yourself with a soft nod signal he could take his time.

“I’ve wanted to say this for the longest time.” He manages without stuttering, your attention is on him  finding cuteness of his features, a baby face with squishable cheeks with a beauty mark on his left cheek it made him unique.

It brought out the sort of innocence he admitted to his whole appearance--a minor detail let you know whatever else lingered something buried beneath. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it at the moment, yet  now wasn’t the time to go too deep into your thoughts. The reality of the situation made him wonder why he didn’t go for Tori. Soft and cute is what appealed to your friend.

You’ve guessed that this was probably a confession of sorts to her.Well...that would make this seem more normal if he wanted me to tell.. So if that was true..Then why is he staring at me so hard..Men are really confusing..

His voice pulled you out of your thoughts again he continued on.”I...well...I like you,{Y/n].”

What. The. Heck…?

A confession. 

To you of all people, a girl that never experienced such things. You felt shocked with many thought going through your mind.You kept your face a bit a mixture of surprise genuinely unsure how to answer. Your friends seemed heard his confession about his feeling toward you with a shift of your head when you turned back to them. 

You didn’t know how to respond with your words being lost on you.Should you tell him this is the first time you received one? Fallon only mouthed a ‘yes’ alongside her, Jenna and Tori frantically waving for you to turn back around to him.

“Um, what’s your name..?”You inquired, you never really got so much as his name when he confessed to you. An enormous part wanted to respond properly to him just admit you didn’t not know your day would turn out like it had.

“Oliver Luna.” He answered almost immediately introducing himself, noting a bit of embarrassment from his tone when he spoke.You found yourself going back to seeing him because he seemed familiar to you that was for sure. Yet, how come your mind went into a haze when you try to recall meeting in another place.

“Oliver, it's nice to meet you.” You could’ve sworn he visibly shuddered as soon as his name left your lips--the blushed deepened even further. He wanted to hear your answer to his confession though you weren’t trying to stall this. You might have made it awkward to ask his name in a situation like this, sure it may have made you look silly to most who could hear. 

Still, you didn’t care what people walking by thought you would do things your way.

“I’m surprised thought no one saw me in that light.” His eyes widened, looking at you as if you’d didn’t know your own beauty and personality. Oliver’s expression seemed to be open while he looked at you and went to shift his gaze a little when you caught him staring.

“I think you’re wonderful, [Y/n].” He gave you a blunt honest reply, it made you grin a little still, maybe all these questions about relationships.It couldn’t hurt to start with someone who held an open interest in you. You had only one way to find out

“I would like to answer your confession then.”Oliver sucked in a breath he was holding in.He thought you were going to reject him. That was the furthest thing from your mind which would also seal your fate in ways you found yourself unaware of yet.

“I accept.”

You answered him.He released the sigh of relief though you noticed a shy smile in your direction. A few whistles and catcalls from your friends with clapping their congratulations for your new beau.There was a sudden text from your phone shifting to pull it out from your pocket to check the message. Your thumb swiped over the lock screen, as quickly you missed the deep stare that watched you longing from Oliver. 

Hey sweets. We decided to head out to enjoy this date, 

He  is still blushing. ^-^

Have fun~!

Tori.

“I guess my friends decided to dip, Oli.” You shook your head a little giving a sigh, as inaudible noise came from Oliver causing him to look up when you gave a nickname to him. You glanced up to see him flustered once more  though you didn’t mind it, but you’d admit it was sort of cute.Suddenly, you found Oliver had gotten a little bit closer albeit it startled you, as he noticed he started to draw back. If it had not been for your hand intertwining it with his own in a light grip giving him the freedom to withdraw if he wished. 

“I wanted to ask if I could kiss you,[Y/n].”His voice was shaky due to uncertainty of your answer, but you decided to give his hand a little squeeze in some comfort.His eyes widened a fraction while his demeanor shifted into a happier mood you gave him a nod in affirmation.

“It’s fine Oliver we are dating now.”He was satisfied by your answer. His reply was to place a little shy kiss upon your lips which you returned. You couldn’t describe how you felt about the situation though you both lingered there in the kiss.

"I'm very happy you said yes." Oliver pulled away from the kiis moving to pull you in a soft embrace. You now noticed something how he moved his hands adoringly,as it seemed he was memorizing your shape. He hated the rain though this was not going to get in the way of his perfect moment with you, yet you gently pressed both of your hands on his chest making his brow furrow in confusion.

“Maybe we  go somewhere to hang out for a bit.” You smiled at  him, your hand moved to take his own once again knowing that it would be better head inside. The last thing you wanted was you both to end up getting sick from being out in the heavy rain too long. You saw Oliver visibly relax a bit shifting his noticeable pout in thinking you were going to head home.

“Sure, we can go stop by a cafe or somewhere if you like.”  Oliver spoke up a little  bit he was still showing a bit of his meekness though you wondered what made him so shy. Maybe he was just as awkward about relationships as you were, but you didn’t know his eyes darkened with a lovestruck smile.  This relationship would reveal plenty of things about the both of you which neither  could comprehend until much later.

“Surprise me..” You grinned shifting your eyes back up at him, as he only gave you a smile in response so it had been an unexpected thing to receive a confession. Oliver pressed a kiss to your forehead making you give him a look of surprise slightly.

“I think you love what I have in mind, {Y/n].”He glanced down at you with those deep obsidian eyes of his though you wondered about the little chill that danced down your spine. You couldn’t give it quite the distinction thinking about it.  

You merely placed a kiss on his cheek seeing his cheeks heat up again. “Relax, I don’t bite Oliver..” You gave light laugh trying to reassuring him though he shuddered making you wondered if he was cold. No, it was a shudder of being soaked because of the rain that came from something purely curious to feel your teeth against his neck.

Oliver relished in thought of that happening if things went well for you both. 

“I’ll try not to be [Y/n].” He gave a nervous laugh trying not to stammer, but he failed in doing so. He was more excited to the prosperity of your long relationship together—he will do anything to keep his precious [Y/n].

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@vermiliren Hope you like this depiction of your baby Oli. I have the next chapter planned out for him and let me know about the characterization.Thank you for giving me permission to write this. Love you ren, and keep being a wonderful person.

If you have not done so go check out her writings they are amazing! Especially, the content for yanderes its very good.

Sorry to all who read this raw and unedited piece. This is my first Yandere post, but I will have original ocs coming soon too.

Love all you wonderful people, and stay safe out there.

[jonthethinker]

Expositor Beauregard And The Mighty Nein

Others have said it before, but because I think it should be screamed from the mountaintops everyday, Beau’s growth is so fucking good!

I think back to the runaway monk we met at the beginning of this campaign, all sharp edges and curt words and no roots, committed to convincing the world she doesn’t care about anything and she’s fine on her own (but the loneliness already showing as she asks Jester and Fjord whether they’re going to leave town without her.)

Then we have Beau now, who has deep friendships with every member of the Mighty Nein sans possibly Caduceus and Yasha (who still fall under the domain of her protective instinct, and who she still very much considers her people.) It could be argued that Beau is the sturdy foundation of the Nein, offering each other member of the Nein some sturdy ground to stand on to grow themselves:

Travis has mentioned Beau’s commitment as first mate as a comfort for Fjord, and when he was deliberating whether to reveal his accent to the group, He never doubted that Beau would continue to support him if he told the group the truth. Their easy relationship is among my favorites on the show, and when the action starts they’re never out of sync.It is safe to assume that to the half-orc orphan who very much attended the school of hard knocks and has every reason to distrust others, having a friendship in which the only thing that is asked is a willingness to call Beau on her bullshit and an openness to Beau calling him on his, is an immeasurably important feature in Fjord’s current life and one he wouldn’t trade away for anything.

Beau is undoubtedly fiercely protective and supportive of Jester, and made it clear to her that she will support Jester being more honest about negative feelings she has, while also standing up to Jester when she thought she was making a reckless decision in how to confront her father if it meant keeping Jester safe and the door open for a healthy relationship with said parent. Jester has in Beau someone who will continually encourage and support her through thick and thin, and have a good time along the way. I want to say a hell of a lot more about their friendship and the parallels of their lives, because their friendship is the most precious thing to me in all of critical role, but that’s not what this meta is about, so I’ll save it for another time.

Her sisterly relationship with Nott is something that is easy to forget about, but I imagine it means more to Nott than is let on; Nott was a bit of an outsider even as a halfling. Since the Iron Shepards (And arguably before, in Hupperdook,) Nott has had an easy relationship in Beau, with Beau being about as judgement free as Nott has ever experienced. The two are playful with each other in a way I imagine Nott wishes she could have been with her brothers, and Beau’s willingness to forgive Nott for any harmful decision she has made (a certain bullet in the ass comes to mind) can’t be underscored in its importance towards the goal of keeping Nott’s beaten-up heart healthy.

While I disagree with some in the fandom who think that Beau’s friendship with Caleb is the single most important relationship in his life right now (which to me has been unquestionably, from the beginning, Nott, and is nowhere near changing to anyone else in my humble opinion,) to say their friendship has not been a critical step in his growth as a character is absurd. Caleb perhaps had not planned on one of the keys to his success in his wizardly pursuits as well as the reclamation of his humanity being a rough-and-tumble friendship with a blunt, somewhat aggressive monk with a knack for getting him to admit to things he never wanted to admit to, but life doesn’t often go according to plan. Despite a rocky beginning, their friendship has evolved into something beautiful, with Beau always there to keep Caleb grounded, whether he risks letting his thirst for knowledge drag him into trouble, or his past begins to eat him alive. And it’s certainly nice to have someone around who can help him find that book he’s looking for.

Beau’s relationship with Yasha has been interesting from the get-go, what with Beau immediately seizing on the opportunity to flirt with the giant, introverted barbarian. While shipping discourse tends to dominate the discussion of their interactions, we shouldn’t ignore the chance to take a crack at what these moments mean to the characters as individuals.

With hindsight and insights Marisha has given on Talks, I’ve gathered that to Beau these moments were driven by this weird relationship in Beau’s mind between sex and power. She uses these casual, almost doomed to fail, encounters with women as a band-aid to avoid confronting her actual problems with developing intimate, meaningful romantic or platonic relationships with women she’s physically attracted to. She sort of game-ifies the encounters into a power struggle between her and her potential conquest; the end goal not being the sex or denial thereof, but of the buzz of the conflict itself. On the outside it looks like a pure expression of ego, and some of it may be, but I interpret it mostly as a deflection from Beau’s clear struggles with self-loathing and her fear of abandonment; I speculate that to Beau, after how things ended with Tori, has not allowed herself to feel the same about anyone else (With the recently revealed exception of Jester, who is all too conveniently deemed inaccessible; “She has a thing for Fjord, and so it’s not a possibility,”) for fear of utterly letting down yet another women she loved.

With Yasha I take these moments as a sort of siren’s song. Here she is, having lost the most precious person in all her life, a love she knew was forbidden but pursued anyway, and clearly blames herself and her desire for Zuala as the very reason she died. To Yasha, the lesson she learned from all of this is not that her tribe was wrong, but that her desires are wrong, that she can’t trust herself to want anything, and can’t trust herself to love without getting someone hurt (A feeling only exacerbated by the death of Molly trying to save her from the Iron Shepards.)

So she feels all this and then there’s this monk who relentlessly flirts with her. Their first interaction indicates to me that Yasha has had some experience handling this sort of thing since joining the circus, and with arms like those, how could she not? But Beau just keeps going and going the more time they spend around one another, and Yasha has eyes, and Beau does indeed have those abs, and is incredibly persistent and almost admirably self-assured about herself, and okay maybe eventually even the tough Barbarian might be flustered and stutter a little bit.

And that would be that, if that’s all their relationship was. But Yasha being the quiet one who looms to the back in social interactions and group planning watches the others, Beau included, and maybe begins to see another side to the monk. The side that clearly cares a great deal about this group. Who looks out for the others and will gladly put her body on the line to protect them. Beau isn’t as sturdy as Yasha, can’t take as many hits and depends on avoiding being hit in the first place, but still there she is, tanking a Hydra, rushing to the front lines and protecting her friends. There she is, reassuring party members in a well-meaning if a little rough around the edges sort of way. There she is, comforting Yasha after she reveals her past to the group, seeking a way to relate to her even when it’s clear Beau doesn’t share personal details often.

So to Yasha, Beau is a few things. She’s someone who she can rely on to keep this lovely found family alive no matter the personal cost. She’s someone who can be leaned on and relied on not to judge. And she’s someone who makes her feel like a person, not just a tool or a wall of muscle, or a burden to be dealt with, but a person. I think Beau will be second only to Jester in the importance she will play in Yasha’s recovery and victory over her grief and guilt, which, let’s face it, is a long road yet to be traveled, but a road made all the easier due to Yasha’s friends of the blue persuasion.

Caduceus sees in Beau potential. Where he may get frustrated or confused by many in the Nein, I think in Beau he finds a reliable and easy to understand set of motivations. Beau wants to keep the Mighty Nein happy, healthy, and most importantly alive, and maybe make a positive difference in the world along the way. While her gruff demeanor can sometimes grate him the wrong way, I feel her actions have spoken for her in Caduceus’ mind. I take that he feels that while he may be the only adult in the room, Beau is definitely the rather mature teenager that can often be trusted to make decisions in his absence. Condescending? Of course. But a delightfully Caduceus-like thing to think.

This long diatribe is not me saying that Beau is the be all end all of the Nein, but just my way of illustrating the impact of her and her growth on her friends, and the role she plays within the Nein. The other members have had just as much of an impact on her. From Fjord’s trust and charm training, to Jester’s love and support and faith in strangers, to Nott’s open ear and sisterly banter, to Caleb’s ability to establish goals and remind her of both the forest and the trees, to Yasha’s fierce protectiveness and soft treatment of their friends, to Caduceus’ encouragement to tell the truth and be open and the successes that attitude has led to.

And to Molly, who arguably, made this growth possible, or at least as quickly progressive as it has been. Without him pushing her towards making the world better than she found it, it’s hard to imagine the road she would have had to travel to get to where she is now, fighting to save the world, standing up to and earning the respect of her Cobalt Soul mentors, sharing her feelings with the group, and allowing herself to love.

Beau is my favorite character on Critical Role. She has been for a very long time, but my love for her has only aged like a fine wine. From barely being able to meditate at all, to mentally transporting herself to a beach in Nicodranas in order to escape Obann’s thrall. From telling Jester she didn’t worry too much about her well-being, to telling her on several occasions that she loves and cares about her. From being incredibly antagonizing towards Molly, to getting a tattoo in his honor very visibly on the back of her neck. Her Journey to become the Expositor she is today has been an absolute delight, and her journey towards forging the ties she has with this beautiful found family have been heartwarming and some of the best storytelling I’ve ever seen. And she has so much potential for growth and I just can’t wait to see more.