#Top-Rated Siding Company

[zyafics]

HIII!!! I love ur writing sm <3 If you're taking requests, I was wondering if you could do one about a reporter reader who used to date Rafe but they broke up and now she has to interview him??? Set in college if possible! Thank you so much! I hope you're having a good day 🥰

hi baby! yes, i do take requests and i absolutely love this one 🥰 i made reader work for a network company but she's still in college and he plays basketball! (but fair warning, i know absolutely nothing about basketball so if i got the terminologies wrong, look away!!) i hope you enjoy <3 this is angsty as fuck

ALL FOR THE GAME | Rafe Cameron

MASTERLIST (Oneshot) | College Basketball Player x Ex!Reporter!Female Reader .ᐟ

Content — college au, athlete/reporter, prior breakup, heavy angst, hurt/no comfort

Word Count — 4.2K

You couldn't believe it.

It's considered lucky. For someone in your position—having received this entry-level job a couple of weeks ago—to have the opportunity to interview an athlete. In fact, many people would call it a great honor.

And it is. Under normal circumstances, you would be more than happy to oblige—elated, even—because people at this stage in your career rarely get such an opening. Especially since you're in college, fully prepared for this internship to be nothing more than grunt work.

Yet, this? This would allow you to advance your career at an expedited rate only offered to nepotism. You should be thrilled, overcome with joy, jumping at your feet and thanking whatever deity you believed in for such a chance.

But you don't.

Because the person to interview is Rafe.

Rafe Cameron, the top prospect of the NBA draft picks.

Rafe Cameron, your ex-boyfriend.

Your boss waits for an answer. He proposed the question a few moments ago, about covering the press conference for the last game of the season. Because of a sick reporter who called out at the last minute, your objective is to build a profile on Rafe Cameron. Since he's the leading prospect, with scouts all over the country looking at him, many people want to know more about the rising all-star who's done nothing but dominate the court.

This proposal, however, was done more out of common courtesy. No one would be stupid enough to say no, and when your boss raises a brow, signifying his manifesting annoyance from your silence and lack of celebratory cheers—you stammer.

"Um, um," you say.

"Um, what?" He prompts. "Will you be doing it or not?"

You shouldn't. There are many reasons why you shouldn't attend Rafe's basketball games. There's resentment because when you step back into that arena, back onto that court, you're reminded of how Rafe picked it over you. There's lingering sadness, residing heavily against the back of your heart, dulled from the passage of time, but not completely forgotten. And lastly, there's anger, because sometimes, all you want to do is scream, cry, and yell at the man who shattered your heart into a billion different pieces.

But that doesn't matter, does it?

Romance has no place in a reporter's life because you're nothing more but a projection for the audience, a vessel for the readers to learn about something else. You don't have feelings; you're a prop. And, certainly, it doesn't matter to your boss, who's only asking you because you're the last choice.

"Well?"

Seconds away from retracting the offer, something in your chest tightens. Logically, you know the choice to make. But your heart doesn't agree. It still hurts, aches, and burns at all of the past memories. It wants nothing more than to bury itself in a hole and pretend that such a critical part of your history does not exist.

But you can't. Life only moves forward. So, all you do is move with it.

"I'll do it."

By the time you arrive at the stadium, all you want to do is run. Anxiety pricks at your spine and your palms grow clammy by your side. Everything inside you is blaring like a warning, cautioning that this is a mistake, that you aren't ready, and that you should turn back.

Despite the badge dangling around your neck, you almost listen. Put your career on hold for a man who hasn't given a single thought about you since the breakup. You can't let him win, and with that reminder, you move with the mob, flocking to their seats.

The atmosphere is charged with exhilaration, and you're reminded of everything before. It's automatic. How easy it is for you to return to old patterns, to follow them, and to find yourself trickling down the steps and towards the courtside seats reserved for family and friends of the team.

Until a hand is placed on your lower back, and a security guard guides you to the press box instead.

It's quieter. The enclosure of the room dulls the energy of the crowd, with a thick sheet of glass separating you from the rest of the people, and reminding you of your purpose.

You take a seat on a cushioned chair, reserved for your network, and look around the place. You're among the most seasoned reporters in their field, chatting with one another, familiarity engulfing the air that somewhat alienates you. They pay you little mind—saved for a curious-yet-judgmental glance at how you wore a jersey compared to their formal suits and pencil skirts. When you follow their line of vision, you realize it wasn't an ordinary merch of the UNC team but Rafe's.

"Fuck," you mumble. You hadn't realized you picked out his jersey; it was left in the back of your closet and you couldn't see yourself attending your college's game without a visual form of support. This probably appears to the rest of the journalists that you're nothing more than a superfan who managed to weasel their way into their network.

It makes your stomach flips with nausea. You want to separate Rafe from you as much as possible, and with a quick run to the bathroom, you change out of the merch and throw it over your tote, straightening out your blouse underneath. When you return, the players are slowly filling out to court.

The visitors' team enters first; UNC follows. You count each player that exits the locker room, watching their expressions as they grin and absorb the energy of their home stadium, as they walk down the length of the bench, as they talk among themselves and share playful jests and banter. You didn't even know you were holding your breath until Rafe stepped out last, to the loudest cheer of the crowd, with a solemn look on his face.

You watch as Rafe searches the stands. Not in the same manner as his teammates, where they're acknowledging fans, or sending flirtatious winks to pretty girls sitting front row. It's different— with purpose. He's searching for something—someone—and your heart clenches in your chest at the thought of Rafe having found your replacement.

But it's been months, hasn't it? It should be more than fair game for him to date whatever he wants. You can still act professionally with this developing news, but it's striking down at your armor.

However, whoever he's looking for, he doesn't find. Rafe goes to huddle with the rest of his team as their Coach gives a final motivational speech before releasing them.

The game starts with a tip-off, and once the referee throws the ball in the air, Rafe takes it into his possession.

He sprints across the court, slicing through the opponent players, and scoring points on the board. Rafe is powerful, knowing exactly when to exchange his hands and pass to his teammates, where exactly to cut through, and when to commit to a play. Commentary heard from the built-in speakers can attest to it, as their primary focus is on how Rafe is taking the last game of the season by storm.

But, while everyone's eyes are glued to the game, as much as you try not to, you can't do anything but stare at Rafe.

He's just as incredible as he was when you were dating him; if not, more. In some way, it makes your heart tighten, knowing that this validates his reason for the breakup. You just wish he felt some semblance of the pain you feel. But as much as you hate it, you're also proud. Rafe has come so far, and trained so hard, to make it to where he is. If he secures a win for the last game, it will be nothing but a guaranteed track to the NBA and luxuries and fame ahead.

All without you.

By the time the game ended, Rafe scored the last shot in a close game, delivering the end of the conference with a secured UNC victory. Everyone in the press box stands from their seats, heading to the media room where they'll be meeting a panel of UNC athletes for questions.

Yet, you linger. You step up to the glass, watching as the erupted cheers of the audience surround the entire stadium, much to the glee of the UNC team, while Rafe stands in the middle of the court for a few seconds, soaking everything in. His eyes pan across the bleachers again, in search for something, before his expression falls and he retreats to the locker room.

When you enter the room of journalists, you slip into a seat. It'll be a while before the players come shuffling in, and you take each second to rehearse and calm your nerves. In one hand, is a tape recorder, while the other is a notepad of the written questions you plan to ask.

UNC's Publicist steps out first to provide an official statement and give a brief overview of the conduct of this press conference. She'll be the moderator, giving everyone enough time to ask all of their questions, and she'll be selecting the networks to her own accord. After everyone comes to the general consensus, the door opens and the Coach steps out with his players.

You watch with bated breath as Rafe is the last to enter, freshly showered and changed into grey sweatpants with a matching UNC zip-up jacket. His headphones dangles around his neck, while his expression exudes nothing but boredom and reluctance. Rafe has always hated interviews, especially post-games, during your relationship. At least that's the one thing that hasn't changed.

You drop your gaze to your lap, swallowing hard as you calm your racing heartbeat. It's been months, yet you still feel the same emotions coursing through you as if no time has passed—longing, hurt, sadness. You whisper positive affirmations, reminding yourself that it's just a job, and that'll be short and simple. You won't even have to speak to Rafe, because your boss may have said to find out more about Rafe Cameron for your profile, nowhere did he say you have to ask him specifically.

When Rafe sits on his chair, he lazily scans the room, a habit of his to pass the time, before he spots you among the crowd. In the third row, second seat; your favorite choice to sit. You don't see it, but a corner smile lifts to his face, demeanor changing, and he straightens up in his seat.

Throughout the conference, the publicist hands the microphone off to whoever she selects. They often direct their questions at Rafe, to which he gives monosyllabic and deadpanned answers. Then, when they try to seek more clarification, Rafe gives them nothing, much to their grimness.

You keep your head low, writing down notes, and drawing doodles on the edge of your notepad. Anything to avoid making accidental eye contact with Rafe. But, regardless, you feel him. The heat of his stare remains on you the entire time, especially when the publicist approach you and hands you the microphone.

It’s time.

With trembling hands, you stand from your seat. You turn your attention to the front of the panel, introducing yourself, your network, and your job. Smiles spread across Rafe's teammates as they recognize you, and you offer a polite one of your own.

Beginning at the furthest player at the end of the table, you ask, "How would you describe Mr. Cameron as a teammate?"

He grins as if he was prepared for this. "Rafe's an incredible teammate and captain. He's a capable leader, who's strong on the court, but also strong on having his teammates' back. You saw it back there—" That earns a small laugh from the reporters. "But, yeah. Rafe's one of my favorite teammates, if I'm being honest."

You tilt your head at that conclusion, because, if you remember correctly, in freshman year, he often rivaled with Rafe and got into fights over minor things. Regardless, you nod, thanking him for his response, and moving on to the next player with the next question.

"What do you think about Mr. Cameron's plays throughout the season?"

"Is that all you got for me, Mrs?" The second player teases playfully, causing heat to warm your cheeks. "Whatever, I got this. Well, let me think. Rafe's always had solid stats. He's one of the hardest-working players on and off the court, and he always keeps his head focused. Even when he had a bit of a bump a couple of months back, he adjusted his plays and bounced back. That’s his resilience."

Your breath hitches at the implication. You try your hardest not to sneak a glance at Rafe, but you can't help yourself. Turning to your side, you discover Rafe watching you, his expression grimacing at the confession of his teammate.

Months ago. The only thing that changed was your breakup. Does this mean he was as affected as you were?

You try not to think too much about that. Thanking the player again, you move to the next, asking more about Rafe's character—his prospects for the NBA, and his experience managing a student-athlete. You didn't ask just about Rafe, you asked about the games and conferences too, but most of the players always return their answers to Rafe. Positively. As if they had this unspoken agreement behind the scenes to hype Rafe up to his ex-girlfriend.

Time goes on, and you start to immerse yourself in the role. It wasn't as difficult as you expected, especially because you're entertaining a team who've known you all throughout their collegiate career. They answered the questions with enthusiasm and a playfulness that can only be recognized by years of familiarity. You can feel the energy from the reporters shift, stewed with envy, because of how the players are showing favoritism to a novice reporter who barely has her foot in the door.

Rafe watches you the entire time. How truly riveting you are in your role. How you command the room with your questions, how you captivate the players, and how you grow more comfortable as you talk to your teammates. He waits patiently as you make your way down the table, for his chance to talk to you.

But just as he's about to be next, you return the microphone to the moderator. You were going to leave him hanging. Before you can fully hand off the mic, a voice commands the room.

"What about me?"

It was Rafe. You lift your head to find him leaning against his own microphone propped on the table, his blue eyes pinned on you, his expression full of want. Your lips part, but no words fall through. The publicist doesn't take back the microphone.

You stammer. "What about you?"

"Don't you have any questions for me?" He questions, as the crowd murmurs with surprise. On any other day, Rafe would've gladly taken the lack of questions aimed at his face. You've done your research; you've seen his previous interviews.

"I..." You can't seem to answer him. All eyes—from the Coach, to the players (who are smiling their head off), to the reporters—turn to you. "I've asked all my questions."

"I'm sure you can think of one more," he declares, his eyes not once straying from your face. As if he's taking the time to memorize all of your features, to absorb any changes. "Come on, hit me."

Everyone waits. Eagerly. With jealousy. The media room stills with a palpable silence, and you can't do anything but retract your arm, holding the microphone back up to your lips.

You blink, racking your brain for any questions. You truly did ask all of them, and there's nothing appropriate enough to ask in front of a room full of people who are recording and monitoring your moves. So, you settle on something safe.

"How did you feel scoring that winning shot?"

Rafe takes a deliberate moment to consider his answer. His silence tells it all. Before he leans down against the mic, his lips centimeters from the pop filter, and he says, "Empty."

Flashes of the camera go off, and hushed whispers are heard throughout the room. But none of that matters to you. Your eyes remain on Rafe, your heart skipping beats from his confession, and you tame enough of your voice before asking a follow-up. "Can you explain why?"

He nods. "Basketball is great and all, and I'm grateful for everything that has happened, and all I have accomplished. Hell, I'm even grateful for this team right here that's been such a hardass on me since day one," he gestures to his teammates on the panel, and they all grin and laugh. One even blows him a kiss. "But, at the end of the day, it's just a game. Without the people you love by your side, it's meaningless."

You truly feel like all the air has been sucked out of your lungs and tears crowd your waterline. When his words finally deliver through, it's almost a straight shot to your chest. This was the admission you'd been waiting for, but it didn't feel satisfactory whatsoever. It's painful, all of the old wounds opening by their stitches, and grief comes crawling up your throat, demanding to be felt.

You don't answer him. You can't. Rafe watches you carefully, trying to gauge your reaction, trying to see if his words had any impact, but you hide them well. For now. With tears stinging your vision, and seconds from unraveling at the seams, you drop the microphone onto the chair and leave the room in a rush.

That's when he realizes he fucked up.

Rafe stands from his seat, ready to follow after you, but his Coach commands him to sit down. His gaze remains on you until you exit the room, but with direct orders, he can do nothing but slump back into his chair.

When Rafe finishes the rest of his interviews, with more reluctance than he had before, he wants nothing more than to go back to campus to search for you. But he doesn't know if that's such a good idea. Clearing out, Rafe steps out of the doors.

To where you were waiting.

"You had no right," you snap, as Rafe heads to the exit of the stadium. He whips around at the sound of your voice, finding you leaning against the wall. As much as he knows he fucked up, he can't explain the happiness he feels at seeing you still here.

"For what?" Rafe prompts with an easygoing smile, "Talking? I'm pretty sure that's what the press conference is about."

But you don't take it so easy.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," you huff, "You used my words against me."

During the breakup, Rafe had said something along the lines of focusing on his basketball career. You had rebutted that basketball can't be the one thing in his life. At the time, he disagreed, prompting the necessity of the breakup further. It had hurt to hear your words twisted and used against you.

"It was friendly," he reassures. "Just like the rest of my teammates. Talking like we're friends."

"We're not friends and you know that."

He frowns. "We said we would be."

"No, you said that," you hiss, clenching your hands by your side, memories slapping you and prickling your skin. "To rid yourself of the guilt, or to make it seem like permanent. I don't know. But it doesn't work that way with me, Rafe. We aren't friends."

His brows pinch together, and agitation flares through his hard features. "So, that's what it's gonna be like? You come to my games and you interview my entire team but you ignore me because we broke up? That's unprofessional."

You falter. "That's not fair."

"It isn't?" He challenges, stepping closer into your space. "How do you think I felt when you were interviewing every single one of my teammates about me, but refusing to talk to me? To look at me? What does that suggest?"

"That I got everything I needed from your teammates."

"You could've gotten it directly from the source."

"I didn't need to,"

"You could've,"

"Why are you so adamant about me talking to you?"

"Because you're acting like a vindictive bitch."

You stagger back as if he struck you, and Rafe instantly regretted the words that left his mouth. But he can't take them back. Your lips part, and you stare at him in disbelief, but you come up with nothing to defend yourself.

With the hardest glare you can muster, you proclaim, "Fuck you, Rafe."

And you turn to leave.

Rafe quickly follows after you. "Wait—that's not���I didn't mean that."

"I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"Just like you didn't want to talk to me in the conference room?"

"You broke up with me!" You snap, stopping in your tracks with such abruptness, that Rafe almost ran into you. Turning back around to face him, you say, "You were the love of my life, and you left me, and you expect me to keep it professional?"

Rafe says nothing.

"I'm trying," you croak, tears crowding your vision again, and you hate how vulnerable and pathetic you feel in his presence. Like it was back to that night in the car, where Rafe said it was over. "I'm trying to do this right."

Rafe watches your face with anguish, but he can't say anything. You're trying hard to keep your composure, and regain some semblance of stability, you say with a even voice, "I'm glad everything is working out the way you want it to. I'm glad you get this bigshot career and you're about to make it in the NBA, and I'm glad you found it so easy to move on but that's not how it worked with me." Your voice cracks. "I loved you. I can't just forget about it like it's nothing."

His voice is small when he answers. "I didn't."

"You didn't?" You repeat with disbelief. "Rafe, you're thriving. You barely look like our breakup had any impact on you. You're about to secure one of the biggest deals in NBA history. What else could you possibly be missing?"

"You."

His dark eyes connect with yours in utmost vulnerability and it cripples you. All your aggression and anger, all your pent-up frustration—it makes you upset that Rafe manage to disarm you with one word.

"No," you step back, shaking your head, "You can't do that."

"It's the truth."

"It's too late."

Rafe looks pained at your declaration. "Don't say that."

"Don't say what?" You sniffle, your vision blurring with hot tears. "My truth? Did you expect me to wait around for you to come to your senses? To beg for you to take me back?"

"I didn't..." Rafe stammers, searching your face for any indication that it isn't too late. That he still had a chance. But he doesn't find any. "I was honest back there. Any win without you feels empty."

"Stop,"

"I made a mistake."

"Rafe—" You shake your head again, sucking in a deep breath, and needing him to listen and step back. "I'm not here to talk about that. I don't want to talk about that."

"But I do,"

"But I don't," you declare firmly. "I just... I need you to understand. You can't do that. I'm trying to move on with my life. And I understand that we're going to be seeing each other, no matter how I don't want to. But I'll get used to it. I'll numb that pain. But you can't do that. Here; back there. It wasn't fair to me."

Your words sound too permanent. Too real. Rafe can't stand it.

With desperation, he pleads, "Can we talk?"

"We're already talking."

"No, I'm talking about us," Rafe says, taking a step forward. Only for you to take one back. "Please."

"There's nothing to talk about it."

"There's so much to say."

"Name one."

"I miss you."

"Rafe," you cry, tears streaming down your face that you can no longer contain. He hates seeing you cry. He hates it more to be the reason. All he wants is to pull you into his arms and apologize, over and over, to soothe the pain, but it looks as if it would hurt worse if he tried to touch you. "Please stop. You're breaking my heart again."

He made a mistake. There are so many times he can say that. When he saw you in the media room, for the first time in months, it came rushing back to what he's missing. How much he's losing you. He wanted to ask you so much—about how you're doing, to learn how you got the job, to uncover more about how close you are to achieving your dreams.

But he was barricaded. By responsibilities, obligations, and duties. He couldn't ask you in a room full of people. He couldn't help you when his father pressured him to break up with you for his career. He couldn't do anything, then. But he wants to do better now.

He says your name, so defeated, in a last-ditch effort. But you shake your head.

You need to leave this place with whatever is left of your pride and dignity. So, you straighten your spine, take out his jersey from your tote, and hand him the last remnant of your relationship. "Congratulations on your win, Mr. Cameron. I wish you the best in your career."

And when you turn to leave this time, he doesn't stop you.

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[mejaemin]

easy- lee jeno

wc: 0.8k

summary: loving lee jeno comes so easy to you

warnings: fluff, best friends to lovers, implied fem reader, definitely not proofread or edited im to emotional for all that bs rn

an: piece of advice to everyone- love is NOT easy despite what im saying in this fic :( im literally in the trenches rn feeling like crying every second over a man i have yet to even speak to !! this drabble is the product of my emotions and what i WISH love felt like for me so i hope you all enjoy this little thing ab one of my comfort people :>

───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────

loving jeno has always come easy.

it’s nearly second nature when you lift your head up or your energy picks up just from sensing his presence in a room. you don’t even notice how your head ends up on his shoulder whenever you sit together, or how easy it is to say “i love jeno!” whenever he’s brought up when he’s not around. it’s so easy to excuse the emptiness in your heart for having a bad day when it’s really because he’s not with you, and on top of that not even in a romantic way.

loving jeno comes so easy to you that when your friends accuse you of being in love with him, your heart rate quickens and your cheeks heat as you quickly shoot down the idea. it’s so easy and so natural that whenever you’re upset you look at old videos and photos of him your smile comes back like it never left. whenever you miss him you can ask to facetime or for him to send a photo and he always says yes.

loving jeno is so easy that when you call him your favorite nickname, jenjen, that he always says he hates, you feel a sense of pride knowing he won’t let anyone else call him that. when you ask him to get something or do something for you, he’ll do it without question, but if your friends ask that of him he’ll say for them to do it themselves. your heart flutters at the exclusivity of his affections.

loving jeno is so easy that you always know how he feels or what he needs. for almost any of your other friends, you have a folder in your notes app that consists of their likes and dislikes or any other info on them. with jen you don’t even have to think twice about it. there’s a pout on his lips? you already know to scoot next to him and give him a hug. he’s upset? all he wants is your company. let him rest his head in your lap and maybe take a nap. don’t worry about asking him to let his thoughts out, you already know he will when he’s ready and you’re the only set of ears his worries will fall upon.

loving jeno is so easy that when you finally come to terms with your feelings, things make a little more sense. your ongoing question of why you care so much for your best friend finally has an answer; you’re in love with him. when you meet with him again, you don’t even feel nervous at this crush, you feel confident that no matter how things go, he’ll never leave your side.

loving jeno comes so easy to you that the next time you hang out, you’re not as responsive because you’re hung up on how to confess. you know that even if the outcome isn’t what you want, you’ll still be together but you want to make sure you say it in a way you won’t regret. you care so much for him you want to make sure you say it the right way. however, when he puts a hand on your thigh and asks if you’re okay with the sweetest, most concerned look in his eyes, it all spills out and your strategic confession falls apart.

“..jeno?” you ask softly.

“what is it? don’t be scared, you know you can tell me anything.” your nickname falls off his tongue so smoothly that your fear of rejection finally comes and you nearly tear up.

“jen i really can’t hide it anymore so i just have to tell you okay? please don’t be mad i don’t care what your response is just listen, okay? i really, really like you jen. more than a friend does. at this point, i’m already sure i love you. i don’t care whether or not you reciprocate, because i really just love you so much.” you sniffle, a tear dropping from your eye. “i really can’t hold it in so i’m sorry, but i love you so much and i really want to be more than just your best friend so please-“ jeno cuts you off with a soft call of your name, your real one.

“please, you didn’t have to work yourself up so much. i feel the same way. i should’ve been more obvious.. don’t you know i’m only this way with you?” he smiles, the hand on your thigh moving up to your cheek to wipe your tears.

loving jeno comes so easy to you that when he leans in and your lips finally connect, your heart is finally full. all the broken pieces of your life come together and you feel complete, like you have nothing else to want or wish for, because now you have your best friend. in every way you wanted, he’s now yours.

───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────

[avocado-writing]

home

pairing: 14th doctor x reader & 10th doctor x reader

rating: E

notes: no gender or age given for reader, just that you last saw the doctor fifteen years ago. thank you to @mcganns for being my beta!!

This too shall pass.

It was a sentiment that you had to cling onto when he left, because fuck knows it was the most painful thing you’d ever felt. And you’d run away from actual explosions before. Big ones, in space! Supernovas which could eat entire planets while you hung onto the side of a little blue box. 

And yet none of it even begins to compare to when he fucking left you. 

He said it wouldn’t be forever. Well, he shouted it at you as you fell out of the TARDIS. There was a time explosion, and you got rocketed back to your little flat in the middle of Hackney, on Earth only a few days from when he’d picked you up — but in your reality months of adventure had passed. 

You’d not really settled back in, certain that he was going to come and rescue you. But then days turned into weeks into months and you finally accepted that the Doctor had abandoned you. 

So you went back to it all. Your mundane little existence before a mad, brilliant man had whisked you away. Your boss was a bit miffed that you’d gone AWOL but you were their best employee so they couldn’t afford to let you go, all you got was a slap on the wrist and a command not to let it happen again. The people you loved didn’t really seem to notice your absence that much, which stung; you couldn’t blame them though. You’d probably not miss you much either. 

The Doctor. He made you feel special in a way nobody had before. Like you were the centre of a whole, giant, fantastic universe, and he adored you for it. 

Still. 

No point mulling that over again, is there?

Fifteen years. Things did get better. You moved on eventually. But you still find your thoughts drifting back to him every once in a while, and that fragment of time you spent totally utterly in love with each other. When you think about the way he kissed you, without realising it you end up touching your lips.

No. No. Stop. 

The singing of the kettle snaps you back into reality, and you pour yourself a hot cuppa. Ah, tea. The antidote to everything. You go to turn the radio on for some company as you shift into your morning routine when you hear a knock at the door. 

Probably the postie. He’s a bit early today, you think, but make no more of it as you undo the latch and open the door. 

Your heart stops. 

Because there he is, of course. 

Older. Weathered. Not the young man you once knew but a grownup version of him, as exhausted by life as you are. 

You drop your mug. Quick as a flash the Doctor grabs it out of midair. The tea sloshes onto the floor but at least nothing gets shattered. 

He goes to look up at you, but his attention is drawn back to his hand. 

“I bought you this mug years ago,” he says, utterly amazed. 

You shut the door in his face. 

Well, you try to, anyway. But he sticks a foot in between the door and the frame, with one of those stupid Converse he always wears.

“I know you’re angry, I know. But please let me come in.”

It’s such an absurd statement you find yourself laughing, a high and desperate noise. 

“Absolutely not!” Actually, no. That’s not enough. “How dare you. Why are you even here?!”

“Because I wanted— I needed to see you.”

You still want to slam the door on him, but there’s a desperation to his voice that gives you pause. And when he looks at you with those sad, puppy-dog eyes? Those eyes as lined with age as you are?

Fuck. You’re so weak. 

So that’s how you find the Doctor sitting at your kitchen table with a cup of tea in front of him. You lean against the counter, defences still up, eyeing him from over the top of your mug. He drums his fingers against the tablecloth. 

“I like your house. Your calendar is nice, I enjoy the kitten motif.”

“Don’t,” you spit, slamming the mug down and sloshing tea onto the floor, ���don’t you dare. You don’t get to waltz back here and start telling me ‘oh, I enjoy your furnishings, haven’t you made a nice little life for yourself since I abandoned you!’ I let you in to speak your piece, though god knows why. Say it and be done.”

The Doctor looks deflated. His shoulders sag, mouth falls. You take a moment to properly look at him. He seems… tired. Tired in a way you never knew him to be when you went on your adventures. Part of you wants to offer comfort, but the other part of you wants to withhold it maliciously. Anything to make him feel the way you felt. 

“I looked for you,” is what he settles on, heavily. You didn’t expect that, and it knocks you. 

“What?”

“I did. After the explosion, I tried searching all over the galaxy for you. I didn’t know where - when - you’d ended up. I scanned and scanned but something stopped you from appearing on the TARDIS’s sensors. I think… the amount of artron energy emitted during the blast somehow cloaked you.”

You say nothing, your silence an invitation for him to continue his explanation. 

“It took years. Literal years, for me. Every spare moment I had, I dedicated to looking for you. Head buried in the circuitry of the TARDIS, trying to fix whatever was hiding you, gave myself a couple of nasty shocks too. And, when I finally tracked you down, I’d regenerated.”

You blink. Right. Yes. He’d explained that, but you’d never seen it with your own eyes. The same person, a different face. 

“I didn’t know if you’d want to see me if I didn’t look like me. But I had to try anyway, didn’t I? So I came here. To your house. I got myself all ready for it, knocked on your door… and found that you were married.”

Your fingers grip the counter. 

“Oh.”

“He seemed nice. Loved you a lot, as you deserved. And I couldn’t tell you I was back, could I? I saw you pottering around in the kitchen, making the tea - you were always the best at making tea - and you were happy. How could I ask you to leave that all, uproot the life you’d made for yourself, just to jump back in the TARDIS with me? How could I be so cruel? I couldn’t, could I. So I left again. Tried to move on. Like you did.”

You’re crying now. You can feel hot tears slide down your face and soak into your jumper. 

“Oh, Doctor,” you manage. You want to tell him so much. It feels like it might burst out of you. But instead you settle on:

“Why now?”

He smiles thinly. 

“Because somehow I got this face back, and I wanted to see you. I wanted to be selfish for once.”

You find yourself at the table, on the wonky chair opposite him, sliding your hand over to cover his. It’s rough and warm. Just like you remember. He says your name with reverence, but like it pains him. 

“I never stopped loving you. Ever. Through it all, every adventure, I knew it wasn’t complete because you weren’t there. It just wasn’t the same without wonderful, brilliant you,” he admits. He sounds defeated. It breaks your heart — or, actually, it might just put it back together again. 

A beat passes. His confession lingers in the air, heavy, thick and choking like smoke from an untameable fire. 

“His name was Simon. He was a baker. He was lovely, actually… and we got divorced two years ago.”

The Doctor’s brow furrows. 

“You… what… why?”

“Because he knew there was someone else I never really let go of. Someone else who, despite everything, I still loved.”

He looks you in the eyes, and you see something glimmer there that you long since gave up on. 

Hope. 

And then, suddenly, you’re kissing. 

It’s like nothing has changed. His lips are still rough and searching on yours, a hint of tongue giving away into more the deeper you entangle. He sits you up on the table and steps into the space left by your spread legs, and between each kiss he says your name. It’s full of adoration but lined with desperation, too. 

Like the kisses he gave you the first night you laid together, on a bed in his spaceship floating across the galaxy. When he buried himself inside you and you felt his two hearts beat in rhythm with your own. 

“Doctor…” you manage. 

Fuck. You need him. You didn’t realise how badly you needed him. You didn’t realise a piece of your soul has been missing this whole time, fucking torn out of you and leaving a jagged hole in its wake. And him, back, telling you he loves you and always has? You’re patched together like kintsugi. 

Your Doctor is the molten gold you need. 

“Please. I need to…” he’s so desperate he can barely get the words out, but you nod; he’s undoing the belt buckle of your jeans and pulling them off like they’re silk. When his thin waist meets yours you cross your ankles behind him and lock him into place, and his hands - a little fumbling, a little nervous to be mapping out the plain of you again - begin to trace your chest. You lean into his touch to let him know yes. This is okay. I want this. Make me whole again. 

His warm, rough palms slide under the hem of your shirt and lift it easily over your head, the only break in a while you take from your kiss. You let yourself grab his tie to bring him closer. He’s fully dressed still and you’re almost naked; you remember how he used to like that, enjoy feeling a bit more put together than you. Cheeky blighter. Still though, as his suit scratches your skin, you can’t say you don’t agree. 

However. In this instance he has far too many clothes. 

You tug at his jacket and he knows what you need, letting it fall to the floor with his tie and waistcoat following it. He ruts against you as he unbuttons his shirt a bit, not the whole way, but just enough for you to feel the warmth of his chest. He’s so skinny. You’ve always been a bit worried that, on one of your rougher days, you might snap him in half. You still are now, actually. 

Cupping his face in your hands you let your thumbs caress his cheekbones. Your Doctor. Older but the same. Just like you. 

You can feel him more than half-hard against your leg. No more time wasting. You need him. You need him, you need him, you need him. 

It doesn’t take long to undo his fly and have him in your hand. You’ll always be glad he chose this human anatomy. Though you’d love him no matter how he looks, there’s something wonderful about his cock as it is here. He lets his head fall forward onto your shoulder with a moan if your name. 

“Oh… you’re…”

“Mmm hmm,” you agree, a genuine smile passing your face for the first time in god knows how long. He’s just the right length and on the thick side, and you know what a delicious stretch he is when he pushes inside of you. You can’t wait to feel it again. A couple of pumps and he’s ready, dripping precome and a ruddy red. Another time you’d bend down and taste him, remind yourself what a Time Lord’s cock is like. But now today. Well, not now. 

You lay back, readjusting yourself so he can push your underwear to the side and find your entrance. A couple of fingers - those long, delicate, clever and cunning fingers - press inside you and test you out. You’re ready for him. He makes a choked noise in the back of his throat as he realises and you laugh, properly, throwing your head back. 

“Come on, Doctor. Show me that you’ve missed me.”

He used to never shut up. And now he’s stunned into a desperate silence, lining up with you and pushing in as he does his best to make you feel what he’s been feeling too. 

A loneliness is fixed. He slides home inside you and your hips meet, the both of you letting out a long and ragged breath. You sit there for a moment, locked in the most intimate embrace, and just feel each other. You fist your hands in his shirt. He’s here. He’s real. You feel him trace his palm up your back as if you assure himself of the same thing. 

Slowly he begins to move. It is a long and lovely drag, his cock hitting all the points you missed being touched, and when he feels you gasp he goes harder. The Doctor nuzzles into the skin of your neck, nestling to the warmth of you there, and you hear him repeat a mantra both of your name and “I love you”.

Over and over. As if the two phrases are inextricably linked. 

You’re so full. You’re so light. Everything feels perfect in this moment. And when he reaches between your bodies to touch your sex, push you to the edge, you know you’ll climax for him embarrassingly fast. 

When you come you see stars light up behind your eyes. The sky, the unfiltered and untamed sky takes you over. The Doctor says your name one final fine and releases inside you, his hips riding it out as if to savour every second in the sweet grip of you. 

He can’t look at your face when he asks you. He says it from the safety of your shoulder where his face is buried, because if you say no you know his heart will shatter. 

“Come with me, in the TARDIS again. I know I shouldn’t ask you to leave your home but… you complete me, you know. Always have.”

“Leave my home?! Doctor, don’t be daft. This is just a house in bloody Hackney. You’re my home.”

You pull back to meet his gaze. He’s tired, but bright. His eyes twinkle. And there’s the Doctor you know. 

“And of course,” you continue. And, as the smile engulfs his face and he lights up, “it’s not like I’m doing anything else, am I?”

This time, when you go AWOL from your job, you never come back. 

[yourheart-inmyhands]

Hello friend!

Would it be alright if I request some angst content with the Archons + Neuvi + Arlecchino where the darling is injured to a lethal extent, where they are hanging by a thread (your choice if it was self-given or otherwise).

Maybe some of them took darling's company and time for granted so having them be so close to gone is like a wake up call to them, and they become 10x more overbearing, and perhaps a little loving? Thank you!!!

🍌anon

Hi thank you so much for the request! Unfortunately I don't really do more than 3-4 characters in one post anymore so I did half the characters you asked for, but you are 100% free to send in another request for the others <3 I hope you enjoy :D

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including mentions of violence, mentions of delusional behavior, mentions of reader being sick, hurt, and otherwise injured, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk.

Arlecchino:

Arlecchino might be a bit cold and standoffish, but she was never a cruel lover. She just didn’t trust herself to get any closer to you than she was. She’d sleep in the same bed as you at night, buy you gifts, and eat meals with you, but affection was a difficult thing to get from her. Arlecchino has feared being close to someone not because she doesn’t want to be loved, but because she doesn’t want to experience any more loss in her life.

She thought that by keeping you at arm’s length she could protect you, but in fact, she had been wrong. Sitting by your bedside, ears blocking out the dull beeping of your monitors as she stares. Not at your face, she can’t bring herself to look at your gorgeous features after letting you get this hurt, but instead, she stares at your hand. It lays limp on top of the bed sheets, and as much as Arlecchino hates to admit it, she wants nothing more than to hold it right now.

It’s almost as painful as the first time she saw you all bandaged up, wires all over you as you lay on the bed, looking more so asleep than in the coma the doctor said you were in. The desire to hold your hand, it made her fingers twitch, her nose scrunch and her heart hurt. Arlecchino loved you, undoubtedly, but she just couldn’t bring herself to be affectionate with you on this level. Against her will though, her hand seems to move on its own, creeping up the side of the bed and gently scooping up your limp one. Arlecchino was never one to cry, a barely audible curse leaving her lips as she bites them, trying to steady their trembling as she turns her head, blinking away the building tears. She hated crying, but she hated even more that this was the first time she’d ever held your hand, a time when you couldn’t even return it, couldn’t even be awake to feel it.

Neuvillette:

Neuvillette is distraught, both because of how long it took him to notice how bad your cold had been getting and because he didn’t even notice till a small hoard of angry melusines stormed his office. It wasn’t like he was trying to be ignorant, he had just been busy and figured that you’d get over your cold soon. Humans are strong and resilient, a mere cold shouldn’t be that difficult, especially with some melusines caring for you.

He had rushed home immediately, finding you curled up under a mass of blankets and yet still shivering, a gathering of melusines around you fussing and frantic over your continuous decline. While Neuvillette wanted to reassure them that you’d be alright, looking at you in this moment, he couldn’t even reassure himself of that.

A week had passed since Neuvillette had rushed home, refusing to return to his office until you had made a full recovery. He spent most of the day laying in bed with you, helping to keep you warm by holding you close, his natural body temperature being higher than humans helped greatly with this. He wasn’t worried about catching your cold, dragons had much hardier immune systems, but he was worried about your slow recovery rate. Even with the gracious help of the melusines, you had rapidly declined before he came around to ensure you were recovering. A small part of him wonders what it was that was making you worse, he knew the care the melusines provided was above and beyond what he could do himself. The small part of him that doesn’t know hides the smaller part that does know what was wrong, that small bit of denial that his ignorance was making you worse.

Zhongli:

It had been a long time since Zhongli last felt the warm, sticky feeling of blood on his hands, the front of his suit splattered in it and his polearm drenched in it. Despite having once been the war god, it was never something Zhongli enjoyed, which was why he made the change to the god of contracts. Yet in this moment, he couldn’t refrain from the violent nature that lurked within him. 

Seeing you crumpled on the ground, an ever-growing puddle of blood beneath you as a gathering of treasure hoarders laughed and stalked off, hands holding belongings stolen from the innocent citizens of Liyue, you included. It left a gross feeling in his chest, a sickening, growing rage that he couldn’t dismiss. His first move was to evaluate your condition, making sure you were stable before demanding Xiao, his most treasured Adeptus, take you to the Bubu pharmacy. His second course of action was to summon his polearm, following the obvious trail the attackers had left behind.

Zhongli didn’t even bother to clean up before going to visit you, his once pristine image now stained as he stalked into the pharmacy. He was covered in dried red, yet not a spec was his. He didn’t even need directions to know where you were, silently walking over to the cot you were laid on, pulling up a chair to sit beside you as he nodded in regards to the doctor himself, Baizhu. There weren't many in Liyue that Zhongli trusted to treat his beloved well, but Baizhu he knew was a capable doctor. Looking at Xiao, who stood silently in the corner, watching over you till Zhongli arrived, the tall man dismissed the Yaksha, who knew exactly what mess he was being asked to clean up. It was in this moment, watching skilled hands drag a needle through your delicate skin, stitching up wound after wound, that Zhongli swore he’d never leave your side, not even for a moment. He couldn’t lose you.

[illusivelle]

chicken scratch

pairing: carmen 'carmy' berzatto x reader rating: t (for now) length: 1,028 words content: mild cursing summary: you've never met your neighbour, but you've received plenty of their mail and now, a large package. of all the stories you made up in your head about who this 'carmen berzatto' could be, the real thing might just be your new favourite. a/n: brain rot means a middle of the night word dump. will likely be the first of many little stories about your next door neighbour, carmen, because that dynamic lives in my mind rent free. fluff for now, but we all know what that means (it means it'll definitely become nsfw later, sooner probably). read part two link to ao3 here!

The first letter was a mistake, the second one was a coincidence. The third one was not a big deal and the fourth was only a little more than a nuisance. But when a much larger package thudded against your front door at the ass crack of dawn, the recipient clearly written across the top of the cardboard box as your neighbour… well, that was just flat out annoying at this point. You hadn't even known deliveries made their rounds so early in the day and as big as the box was, when you lifted it to carry next door, it weighed lighter than a feather.

The pile of letters that accidentally found their way to your apartment were usually slipped through the small mailbox of your neighbour's, sometimes under the door. You'd thought about dropping the package and simply going about your day, but curiosity got the better of you as your knuckles rapped against the door and waited instead.

What could a Carmen Berzatto have possibly required to be delivered at this time?

In the time you've lived in the building, there'd been very few run-ins with other tenants. Not that you'd ever complain, perfectly content with your own company. You made friends with one elderly lady who always offered you some of her freshly baked bread, and in return you picked her up flowers and some extra produce on your farmer's market runs. The landlord wasn't your friend, but he wasn't your enemy either, and somehow you'd convinced him to let you paint your bathroom your favourite colour with little to no resistance. But your next door neighbour remained a mystery, one you've conjured up about a dozen different backstories and personalities for.

Carmen Berzatto, notorious criminal, hiding out in a tiny Chicago apartment. Carmen Berzatto, hundred-year-old vampire, who might either burn in the sun or look like they'd walked through a glitter bomb. Carmen Berzatto, part time Chicagoan, who actually doesn't live here anymore and maybe there's a squatter inside instead. Carmen Berzatto, the tax evader, because why else would they have so much goddamn mail being sent to them?

You'd been lost in the web of made-up histories for your neighbour when the door swung open to reveal said neighbour, and it slowly dawned on you that there wasn't a single story where you imagined Carmen Berzatto to look like that.

Piercing, wide blue eyes and a head of shaggy brown tufts that made you want to tangle your fingers through them, especially that small curl dangling just above his forehead.

"Hi." His greeting was laced with mild confusion that seemed immediately alleviated when his attention dropped to the box in your hands. "Oh."

"Hi," you blurted out, lifting the package, "got another one for you."

"I—I'm sorry about— about, uh, about all of that. It won't happen again."

"Won't it?" You were mostly teasing now. Although you were jolted awake by the sound of it thrashing against your door, and although you were rather peeved about getting up before you wanted to, you couldn't find it in yourself to be irritated anymore.

Carmen reached out to take the box from you, giving it a small shake with what you thought was a ghost of a smile before he set it down to the side somewhere you couldn't see. "It won't. I'm sorry." The flirt of his tongue along his lips brought your gaze toward it before you met his eyes again.

Those stunning icy blues.

"It's okay, nothing to be sorry for."

"I must've really fucked up on the— the uh, apartment number."

"What?"

"The apartment number."

"Yeah," you looked at him a bit dumbfounded, gaze darting to the door where the number and letter were, "what about it?"

"I—"

"You don't know your apartment number?"

"My writing's shit."

Both of you seemed to blink in unison, another lick of Carmen's lips which you mirrored before a stupid smile curled your lips. "Oh."

"Not a good excuse, I know." He nodded, jaw working as he turned his head to the metal on the door, a short and deep chuckle sounding from him. "Again, I—"

"Not sorry," you shook your head, "just chicken scratch."

For a moment, Carmen stared at you, and if it wasn't bad enough to have those too-blue eyes simply looking at you, to find them nearly boring holes as they danced between your eyes and across your face made you want to evaporate. Made you wish the ground would open up and swallow you hole. Made you want to drown in the depths of the ocean blues that were his irises.

"Just chicken scratch," he murmured after a beat of silence and what was once a ghost of a smile was definitely something now, the corner of his mouth lifting enough to wrinkle the corner of his eye. Enough to show you the dimple in his cheek. "Thanks for— for bringing the package."

"Yeah." And the smile unfurling on your lips was nothing short of genuine. "You're welcome, Carmen."

"Just, uh, just Carm is good. Carmy."

"Okay."

Another beat passed where you thought you might have been rendered frozen by one of your favourite shades of blue, glued to the floor through hypnosis, until a sound down the hall caught your ear and you nodded at Carmen. Turning on your heel, you took the first step back to your apartment, then another, and another.

And it wasn't until you had your hand stretched out to grab for your doorknob when you heard his voice echo from where you'd came. "See you around?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

The moment hung in the air on a thin thread, the both of you sharing furtive and hidden smiles before his door closed and yours opened.

Carmen Berzatto, not a notorious criminal (to your knowledge) or a hundred-year-old vampire (yet). Nor was he a part-time Chicagoan (not with that accent) or a tax evader (maybe). None of the ideas you had floating in your mind about your neighbour even came close to the real thing.

Carmen Berzatto, curly-haired blue-eyed boy-next-door with chicken scratch for writing and a fleeting dimple you wanted to see again.

[tinyarsonist]

Volume: Down

"If you don't keep it down, the kids will hear you."

Summary: You and your group finally debut! After a heart breaking accident, leaving you feeling less than you've ever felt Chan shows a side to you that leaves you wanting more.

Rating: M, TW under cut

Pairing: BC x Reader, FWB -> friends -> lovers

Italics are in Korean. Bold is in Spanish. Rest in English.

Volume Series: Part One | Part Two | ?

MDNI, 18+ Only

TW: idol!Chan, IdolTrainee!Y/N(fem!), No use of 'Y/N', slight angst, mentions of drinks, piv, unprotected sex (wrap it up), smut in general, dirty talk, cunnilingus, swearing, mentions of masturbation, semi-public sex, fellatio, insemination, PleasureDom!Chan, let me know if I missed anything!

Word Count: 13k

Est Reading Time: 40min

“Always so good.”

Chan groaned as he kissed your inner thigh. His hands held you nice and steady for him as his tongue glided over your core. Chan had finished just moments earlier, gracing your skin with his release. But, when he saw on your face that you didn’t come, he wasted no time in cleansing his palate for dessert. Licking up his remains before traveling down south, you tried telling him that it was fine. That you were just distracted but he didn’t let you finish your sentence; “Well, then let me help you relax.”

Your grip tightened on the sheets as you squirmed underneath him. Every time he pulled just slightly away; your hips jutted up to follow him. Craving any form of friction they could get.

It didn’t matter how often the two of you would meet up. Your body responded to every touch he could give. Chan made it his job every time to make sure your mind was just as focused as your body was. And it--he--never disappointed.

You weren’t thinking as your hand reached out slightly towards his black curls. As if he could feel your hesitation, he nipped around your bikini area. “Go ahead, baby. Use me.”

It didn’t take long for you to finish once your hand met the back of his head and did exactly as you were told. Chan had to hold in his smile as you rode out your high, still grinding against his tongue despite all the shaking in your thighs. Ever the gentleman he was, Chan kept you propped up until you finally cooled down. He wiped your essence off his face with the back of his hand. That famous smirk of his never leaving as he crawled next to you in bed and pulled the sheets over the two of you.

You and Chan had this newfound rhythm when it came to your little “rendezvous,” as he liked to call them. Sneaking in and out of his dorm every so often for a quickie followed by some cuddling at the end. You usually slinked out of his arms once his soft snores filled the room, leaving him with that empty feeling in the morning when his alarm went off. Ever since that unfortunate incident with Felix in the kitchen, you kept the shenanigans confined in his room as an unspoken rule. And due to his insomniac schedule, it was easy not bumping into the other members as they're usually already fast asleep. Speaking of sleep--

“You look like you're about to knock out,” you laughed as his arms wrapped around your waist and held you close to his chest.

“Don't tease me,” he grumbled as he squished his face on the top of your head. “Had to give it my all, okay?”

“Okay, okay.” You chuckled and stretched a bit in his hold. You could feel your body shutting down and knew you should start heading out. You had an early day, with training for your debut schedule starting. It was exciting, but definitely nerve-racking. Your company did not tell you when or where your group would make your debut, just that you should be prepared for it. Exciting. Not exactly helpful, but exciting nonetheless! “I should get going soon.”

Chan heard your words and instantly groaned. He just got you, couldn't he have you for just a little while longer? It felt like most nights without you in his bed were even harder to sleep despite you never being there in the morning. “Okay,” he sighed and pulled back a bit to look down at you. Already planning when he can get you back in these sheets. “You free for next Friday?”

“Can't,” You shook your head. “My schedule is crazy this week with practice, I'll barely be getting enough sleep as is. The Tuesday after?”

“Flying out to Paris for a charity event with the kids on Thursday. Probably will stay a week and a half after that…”

Silence clung between the two of you like his duvet. “So…” you bit your lip. “It'll be almost a month then until either of us are free?”

His eyes locked on yours. The grip on your waist tightened a bit as the realization settled over the both of you—a whole month. Chan does not even think it has been more than 4 days without seeing each other ever since this nonverbal agreement started. “Yea…”

Without a word being said the two of you locked onto one another. Pulling and grabbing at each other like one measly month would undo it all. Trying to satiate your hunger in each other until the next time finally rolled around.

Screw it. You'll just sleep during rehearsal break.

“Shit!” You huff in frustration as you slump to the training room floor. Your group has been practicing non-stop for the debut. Recently getting word that there was a time slot at Inkigayo with your name on it, your team was pushing every fiber of their being into getting this performance right. All of your team's hard work was paying off and showing. Why else would your company invest in such a big debut? Even the meat suits in tuxes could see the team’s worth. You couldn’t have been prouder of your girls.

If only you weren’t the one holding them back.

No matter how much you practiced, you couldn’t stick that tumble during the bridge. Your footing kept slipping as you tried to get back up. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t perfect. One wrong weight shift and you could twist your ankle in the worst way possible. You could already feel the strain on the backside of your tendon.

“Let's take a five,” your youngest waved off the other two girls to grab some snacks before taking a seat next to you. During your time together, the two of you became extremely close and she naturally took the role as your ‘second.’ Becoming the person, you knew you could lean on when things got tough. You were made, and trained, to support your girls, but her? She volunteered to support you. “You okay?”

You nod your head and stretch your foot to help relieve some tension on your ankle. She watches you as you try to brush off her question. “You seem distracted... More tense than usual.”

For some frustrating reason, your body was refusing to release despite your favorite toys coming out of their hiatus to fill in the time without Chan. She would be tense too if she couldn’t orgasm for 2 weeks straight and had another 2 weeks to go.

“I’m fine,” you smile at her. But that little grin of yours didn’t fool her. She gave you a look before leaning her head on your shoulder. Giving some comfort in the only way she knew how. You smile as you lean your head on hers.

“Is it a boy?” She said quietly after some time causing you to stiffen a bit. The rest of the group knew that you and Chan had met during the interview. However, they knew nothing else of that night. Even though it was eating you up on the inside.

If word got out that a soon-to-be-debutee and one of the world’s leading K-pop artist were seeing each other, your group’s image would be ruined. Even if the two of you weren’t together in that way and just used one another to forget the stress of your jobs for the night. That was the downfall to the marketing of the industry. A horrible negative to have the world hear your music—your love life was never your own.

“No,” you fibbed. The younger lifted her head slightly to look at you, not fully believing in your rebuttal, but deciding not to pry any further. The two others returned with a bounty of snacks to last a lifetime. The four of you giggled and chatted as the food was passed around.

“Speech! Speech!” your youngest smiled at you as she held up her soda can in a make-shift toast. Everyone else followed suit. Comradery spreading amongst the four of you. In one week, everything you worked for will be known. Spreading like a wildfire, your music will finally reach those willing to hear. The long years of being broken down will be worth it. The rise you’ve been so desperately craving is finally coming your way.

“Soon, everyone will know our name!”

The dance studio erupted in cheers and laughter. You smile as you look at your three girls, pride racking through you like never before.

Look out world. Ready or not; here you come.

Chan woke up from his bed as he smelled the freshly cooked bacon wafting into his room. A grin spreading from ear to ear as you pushed open the door with your hip, a bed tray filled with homemade cooking spread beautifully was placed across his lap. “Good morning,” you smiled at him as he sat up in bed. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” Chan placed the breakfast off his lap and next to him on the bed. The food smelled delicious, but he had something else in mind for his first meal of the day. Before you could even question it, Chan pulled his duvet off from himself and pulled you onto him instead. Your giggles filled his room as one of his hands found the back of your head, pulling you in to plant wet kisses along your neck. His lips then interlock with yours. Bodies molding into one as the sun’s light filtered through his curtains. Finally pulling away, Chan smiled up at you as his hand brushed some falling strands of hair behind your ear.

Seeing you like this, above him and smiling, no thoughts of his day ahead. Just you.

Only you.

Chan’s heart dropped when he finally woke up. It's been 2 weeks since he last saw you. Even in his dreams, he was flooded with visions of you.

Groaning, he turned his alarm off. The back of his head hit his hotel pillow again as he tried to go back to his slumber. Trying anything he could to continue the domestic scene his subconscious created for him. Trying being the keyword. Within a moment of peace, his hotel room door was barged open. Changbin and Jisung happily entered the room, knowing that waking up a sleepy Chan might result in a pillow or two thrown at them. So, as they rounded the hallway corner, they held up a bag of food, and some drinks, as an offering. Hoping to appease the groggy wolf.

“Everything bagel with harvest cream cheese?” Chan glared at them. As they both nodded, Chan sighed and gestured for them to come in. Jisung happily plopped on the bed next to Chan as Changbin laid out the food for the 3 of them.

“Stayed up late?” Changbin asked as he pulled up a chair next to the bed. Chan just nodded, still trying his best to wake up.

Jisung took a massive bite of his bagel, tilting his head as he asked a follow up question. His cheeks full, giving his staple chipmunk-pout; “You okay? You’ve been sleeping less and less these past couple of days.”

“I’m fine,” Chan took a sip of his smoothie. He was trying his best to deal with his insomnia, but it’s doubled ever since their flight into Paris. Most of his nights were spent working on some new tracks, trying to keep his mind distracted. It didn’t help that every waking moment flashes of your rendezvous nights kept playing at the worst timing possible. During dance rehearsal, staff meetings, while on the way to a photoshoot; his body would feel hot every time his brain would remind him of the way your lips would wrap around him. “It's just jet lag is all...”

Changbin and Jisung shared a knowing look. It was a look only life-long friends could partake. A look that knew Chan was bluffing. “Well,” Changbin drew out the word. “we got some good news and bad news for you.”

“Bad news;” Jisung wrapped his arm around Chan’s shoulder before Chan could open his mouth. Knowing he would just complain even more about not getting any sleep. “we leave tonight. Ah, ah—no no don’t you dare!”

Jisung couldn’t contain his laughter as Chan groaned and pulled the duvet back over his head. This was the last thing Chan wanted to hear; just as his sleep schedule was somewhat getting back to normal, he gets to sit in a plane and travel back home. Another recipe for more jetlag. What great fun. Jisung tried to unravel Chan from the cocoon he created, but to no avail.

Changbin watched with a side smirk as Jisung tried his best to wrestle Chan out of bed. “The good news;” Changbin leaned against the chair with his arm crossed. “we were able to get a time slot at Inkigayo later this week.”

“I heard a certain new group would be debuting that same day.”

Chan peeked from under his covers. You would be there?

Of course, the other members knew of you. Poor Felix had to trauma dump to someone after what he witnessed the morning after your first night together. Chan had suffered tremendous teasing for weeks before they all finally cooled down. But, he knew that despite the hell they were putting him through, they would never let word get out about anything.

It would be nice to see you after these past couple of weeks. To root for you on your big day...

“When do we leave?”

Today was the day.

Everything was on the line. You could barely sit in your seat as your stylist finished up on your hair. Your girls were essentially bouncing around the dressing area; adrenaline coursing through them. “Hey,” you laughed as you watched them jump on the couches from the vanity mirror to chase one another. “Save the energy for the stage, ladies.”

“Yes, all mighty leader,” your youngest giggled as she bounded over to you as your stylist left to clean up her equipment. The rest of the girls followed suit, leaning onto one another to squeeze into the mirror’s frame. You placed your arms around them as much as you could, squeezing them in even closer. Giggles filling your ears as you looked at your team's reflection; trying to etch the image in your mind forever. “Hey,” your youngest looked down at your outfit. Her eyebrows scrunched up together as she pinched the fabric around your shoulder. “This looks like its fraying a bit.”

Viewing the fabric through the mirror, you could see the garment starting to undo itself. Muttering a small curse, you looked around. Your stylist had already left. Grabbing a safety pin, you tethered the fraction of the fabric together before exiting out of the dressing room. This was no big deal, you had to keep reminding yourself as your anxiety started to rise. All you had to do was find your stylist so they could sew it back up before your time slot.

Everything will be fine. There was nothing to worry about. Everything will go according to--

You didn’t have time to squeal when you felt a hand pull you sideways as you were walking down the hall and into a supply closet. Your back pushed against the wall adjacent to the door. A strong hand covering your mouth as the other found its place on your hip. A fluttery feeling in your gut as your eyes adjusted to the dim closet and focused in on the face dawning that dorky grin at you.

“mmphan?”

His grin never left his face as he removed the hand from your mouth to the back of your head; “Missed me?”

Your lips found Chan’s in a frenzy. A fast clash of flesh as every second the kiss was deepened. His hand tangling with your hair and pulling you flush against him. A small groan leaving his lips as your arms snaked around his neck and tugged at his roots. As you pulled away for a breath you couldn’t help but tease; “A little.”

Chan gave out a breathy laugh as the two of you clung onto one another. His span of Spanish was fairly low, but loved the way you always let your actions show him exactly what you meant.

His mind wandered about making his dream a reality and littering your neck with his mouth but knew better than to mark you up before your big break. No matter how much he wanted to. Just seeing you here, in the flesh, was more than enough for him. So, he let his hands wander, taking perch right under your shirt just to feel you. Every touch sent warmth through you as you unconsciously arched yourself closer to Chan. A slow rhythm between the two of you grinding on one another formed. Eager to feel anything after the long time apart.

“What’s this for?” Chan played with the safety pin on your shoulder. Never stopping his other hand from feeling your curves, now sneaking towards your back to press you even closer. As if this was all but another dream he was going to wake up from.

“Strap is coming loose,” you couldn’t help but lean in close to whisper in his ear. Shivers running through him as your teeth lightly grazed his lobe. Something was taking over you, something that you couldn’t explain. It could be from the long weeks of not seeing him, or the stress of having to perform soon. “Can’t have a nip slip on today of all days.”

Chan’s hand went from the safety pin to your ass. Kneading it softly as he guided you to raise your leg so he could press his clothed bulge on your core. The pressure making your head lean back on the wall, sighing from the contact. “I don’t know,” Chan smirked as he placed small kisses on your shoulder. “I wouldn’t mind seeing that.”

“Dirty boy”

That was a word Chan knew well. It somehow became his nickname after every rendezvous night. It was almost a Pavlovian response as he felt his boxer space start to constrict as he grew. It took everything in him to pause for a second. You were breathing heavily, eyes half lidded as you gazed up at him. Your smile sending butterflies throughout his body. “Maybe,” Chan bit his lower lip, “you can show just me? Hmm, later tonight?”

You didn’t mean to nod your head as quickly as you did. Your enthusiasm pulled a chuckle out of Chan as he placed a soft kiss against your lips before taking a step back so you could fix yourself. "Break a leg,” Chan smiled as you fixed your hair and went towards the door. “We’ll be rooting for you.”

As you were about to say your thanks, the closet door swung open. Chan pressed himself as flush as he could against the wall. The door blocking your stylist’s view of him. “Where have you been?” She scolded as you just stood there rigidly, trying your best to not cast your gaze at Chan who was doing his best to blend in with the drywall. “That little beast of a girl said you were looking for me—what are you doing in here?”

As she tried to peer into the closet, your hand flew to the side of the door to hold it in place. Blocking her view of Chan. “Nothing! Just—trying to see if there was a sewing kit since I got lost and couldn’t find you.”

She looked like she didn’t believe you, but she, and you, were on a timeline so she really couldn’t care less. Huffing, she grabbed your wrist and started guiding you back down the hall towards your dressing area. Chan had to contain his laughter as you casted him a terrified look before stepping out with the slightly-horrifying-older woman.

“Where did you run off to?” Minho grinned as Chan reentered their private dressing room. Everyone was lounging around on the couch as the group waited for their time slot. And these boys weren’t made for sitting still. So of course, they turned to teasing Chan as soon as he stepped in. Lucky him.

Taking a quick look around the room and confirming there were no cameras amongst the group, Chan casted a glare at Minho; “Shut up.”

“Or what?”

“Minho,” Hyunjin laughed from his seat, “don’t get him mad. Please. You’ll get him cranky.”

Minho rolled his eyes and leaned back on the couch; “He’s been cranky this past month. What difference will it make?”

“But you don’t have to share a wall with him when he decides to take that anger out on--”

“Hey!” Chan laughed and threw a pillow at Hyunjin to cut him off. Jisung, who was just starting to rest his eyes before their performance, shot up and covered Jeongin’s ears with his hands who innocently asked; “Taking it out on what??”

Changbin was a giggling mess as Chan bounded over to Hyunjin to playfully wrestle him on the couch. Once they settled down, Changbin commented, “Seriously, have you considered sound proofing?”

Chan groaned as he covered his face in his hands from embarrassment. The rest of the members laughing and poking fun at him wherever they could. The only pause of the teasing was when Felix shushed everyone and pointed at the TV. Your group had been announced and was walking the stage. The team settled down on the couch, Felix turned up the volume as they watched you interact with the crowd. A sensation of warmth mixed with a little pride filled him as you worked the crowd into getting excited, even though a vast majority of them didn’t even know your name. Laughing as the youngest in your group was behind you mocking you, causing you to send a glare her way. The room erupting in a chuckle as the two of you feigned a fight as the staff was setting the last of the stage up.

“She’s spunky,” Seungmin chuckled from his seat on the couch.

As you and your team got on your marks, music played. A beat that brought the room to sway a bit to in their seats. The choreography started, as did your time to shine, and Chan was completely immersed in the performance. The way you sang, your hips swinging to the music until your next verse, you flashing your beautiful eyes directly into the camera. Christopher knew it was for the audience at home once everything was edited, yet somehow it felt that it was all for him.

The bridge came on, a cute little dance to showcase each member and bringing it in together for a cohesive formation. Before the chorus started up again, the team tumbled on the floor before popping right back up. You did as well, and to the naked eye everything seemed to be going along perfectly. But in the room, everyone leaned a bit forward as you came back up. It was almost instant, the flash of pure pain across your face, before you went back into work mode and continued on. A look of pain that everyone in the dressing room knew a little all too well.

The song ended and you waved. Your youngest immediately finding you to hold you by your waist and help guide you down the stage before the audience could catch on.

“Do you think she’s--”, Felix turned to look at Chan, but he was already gone. “--okay?”

‘Stupid, stupid, stupid!’ that little voice in your head rang as your manager and team helped you to the room. Your ankle was starting to swell and turn purple with every step. The tumble you had practiced on for so long, still proved to be too much for your body. Everyone suggested leaving it out, but you insisted that it made the choreography even more amazing, and part of you wanted to prove that your team – you – could do it. You didn’t want to hold them down.

Chan stood for a moment at the door frame of your waiting room. The crew of Inkigayo, upgraded your team to a private area after you hobbled off stage for some peace. You were on the couch, hands covering your face as you let quiet tears fall. Feeling overwhelmed with the adrenaline of the performance and having to hide your pain--it was all too much. The rest of your group decided to give you some space, seeing that despite their attempts to cheer you up they were doing no good. He gave you a moment to brush the tears aside and notice him.

“Chan,” you sniffled and blinked away any water that was pooling at your eyes. “If you’re here to tell me how ‘great’ I did--I don’t want to hear it.”

“Okay,” Chan leaned off the door frame and made his way over to you. Your usual smile was replaced with a frown as you watched him close the distance between the two of you. Irritation was overtaking you from all the coddling from your teammates and management. Telling you that you did great, despite the slip-up and injury. That you kept your composure the entire time and no one in the audience could tell. That the debut was a hit! All those compliments fell on deaf ears--your own thoughts were too loud and massive to even take note of what everyone else was saying. Only focusing on how you screwed it up. You were supposed to be the leader. And the first time to show the world what your team was made of--you were the one to fuck it all up.

“Christopher,” you growl. “I mean it. I’ve had enough pity for a lifetime…”

“I know.”

You watched in silence as he knelt on the floor next to you to slip off your shoe on your injured leg. Holding it steady, he pulled out a compression wrap from his pocket and started to gently dress your ankle. “I always keep one on hand,” he said quietly as if he was scared to spook you. “Had a nasty slip back in my early days, learned to always keep a small first aid kit lying around.”

Chan made the last wrap around your ankle, making sure the elastic was nice and snug to give you any support you needed. Grabbing a pillow from the armchair next to him, he set it next to you and guided you to lay your injured foot on it. “Keep this elevated.”

You sniffled a bit as he grabbed some tissues on the coffee table and dabbed around your cheeks, cleaning up any make-up smudged from your tears. His eyes were focused on wiping away any evidence of your fears. But you? You couldn’t keep your eyes off him.

The way he took his time caring for you made you feel something you hadn’t felt with Chan before. Warm; a weird bubbly sensation in your gut that made everything twist and turn. It was different from all the times spent with Chan during your nights together. It was a deeper connection. One that scared you, but you didn’t want to lose the feeling of either.

“I have to go,” Chan put the tissues aside and stared up at you. He cupped your cheek, his thumb running softly against your skin. He didn’t want to go. It’s been so long since he’s last seen you, not counting the supply closet, and seeing you down like this made his heart hurt. He wanted nothing more than to hold you and chase those fears away. Chan wasn’t a stranger to those inner thoughts; that self-doubt that clouded every fiber of your own being. But his time slot was coming up soon. “You’ll be okay?”

“Yea…”

Chan stood up and made his way back to the door. “Chan?” You called out. When the two of you locked eyes, you bit your lower lip. It almost broke you to show him, or anyone, your most vulnerable state. It was different than when the two of you were in the sheets. This was somehow more personal. More intimate.

“Thank you.”

“Are you sure you don’t need anything?” Your youngest looked down at you, concern etched in her face. The team was invited to film an interview at Lotte World, and though your injury was manageable, your manager was concerned that being on your feet for a long period of time would just worsen your condition. The rest of the group was already loaded into the van waiting outside, but your youngest kept leaving the dorm only to return to check in on you. Like a little lost puppy who only wanted to bring comfort. You couldn’t help the side grin that came across your face as you pinched her cheek, causing her to wince a bit in discomfort.

“For the fifth time—I'm fine,” You scolded her lightly as you released her cheek. She pouted slightly and tried to rub the redness away. Nodding your head towards the door; “Now get out of here, you’re keeping everyone waiting. You’re going to be late.”

“Fine, fine!” She rolled her eyes at you as she headed towards the door. Stopping just briefly to lean dramatically at the hallways corner to give your big doe eyes. “I get it—you just hate me.”

Squeals of laughter flew from her as you chucked a pillow her way, finally jogging to head out. Sighing in relief as you heard the door close behind her. You settled in on the couch, keeping your foot on a pillow to rest it as you mindlessly scrolled through your phone. Content filling you as silence, finally, filled the dorm. As much as you love them, living with three lively girls was overwhelming from time to time.

Resting your head on the couch, you let the peaceful lull wash over you. For about thirty seconds.

“For God’s sake,” you huffed as you got up from your place. The light knocking on your door making you irritated. Swinging the door open your put your best reprimanding face on to chastise your youngest. “What now? Did you lock yourself out this ti--”

Chan stood there wide eyed as he became the target of your annoyance. He gave a meek smile as he held up some take-away as a peace offering. You paused as the two of you stared at one another for what seemed like eternity. That warm bubbly feeling making its reappearance as he stood there awkwardly; “So, um—can I come in?”

“Y-yea, sorry.” You shook yourself out of it as you stepped to the side and gestured him in. He took off his coat and laid it on the kitchen island as he started to lay out the takeaway. You slowly stepped towards him as he essentially made himself at home.

“You guys have a nice place,” he said nonchalantly as he busied himself. He felt confident when he came up with the idea of surprising you but seeing you in person made his conviction rattle just a bit. It’s been a week since he’s last seen you after your trip on stage, and despite his attempts to reach out--you remained silent. “A lot cleaner than when our agency piled all eight of us together.”

“Chan--”

“You have any plates?” He walked over to the cupboards in his search. Searching high and low for some bowls.

“Chan--”

“Seriously, how many mugs do you guys need?” He grumbled to himself as he opened the second cabinet. Stopping his hunt to look at you as you closed your distance and reached a hand out to touch his arm gently. His heart skipping a beat as he took in your appearance. The way your hair was coiled into a bun, some strands leaving its confines to frame your face. Your oversized shirt and sweats still somehow complimenting your curves. This homely version of you was comforting in some way.

“What are you doing here?”

“You... didn’t answer,” he replied softly. Trying his best to downplay the anxiety that racked through him this past week. “And--I wanted to make sure that you were okay.”

You didn’t miss the way he glanced at your ankle before his gaze reached back up to yours. His face etched with care. The side smirk that you gave only caused the mood to lighten as you took a step back and opened the cabinet next to the one he was searching in. Grabbing a plate, you handed one to him before making your way to the platters filled with food. A comfortable silence between you two as you cram as much as you could into the tiny plates. Chan took a look around, subtly opening your drawer to peer into to find utensils.

“Ah, ah—nope.” You joked as you threw a plastic fork his way from the takeaway bag before making your way over to the couch. “I am not doing any more dishes than we need.”

Chan plopped next to you with a cheeky grin; “I could always do dishes.”

“You’re a guest,” you propped your leg on an ottoman. “Can’t have guest doing my chores, what kind of host would I be?”

“Well, considering you swung the door open like you were about to punch me—I say you’re not off to a great start.”

“Shut up,” you shove your shoulder on his, earning a small chuckle from Chan. As the two of you ate and watched daytime television your shoulder never left his. Supporting each other in the simplest of touches. Chan felt all his unease from the past week melt away as the two of you paid attention to the flat screen. No words needed to be spoken, just simply enjoying one another. The little crinkle forming around his eyes as he felt you leaned further into him. He couldn’t help but remember the first night you spent together with him. How the two of you fell into an easy rhythm of searching YouTube and just chatting the night away. Two pieces of a puzzle.

“I’m sorry... for not calling or texting back,” your quiet whisper brought him out of his thoughts as he turned to face you. He could see the guilt in your eyes. Your habit of biting your lower lip while thinking, sent a wave of warmth through him. Finding it extremely endearing to see you in such a state.

“Don’t worry about it. I understand, you needed your space.” You both set your plates down on the coffee table. As he said the words, part of him wanted to tell you what he was holding back. Tell you that he wanted to be there for you. That no matter what; his shoulder was yours to cry on if you needed it. It didn’t matter the time or the place, he would drop everything to be by your side. But, even as the thoughts rolled through his head, he stopped himself. Another part of him scared to voice them. Not only to you, but to himself.

You smile softly at his words. Your anxiety was soothed away by his reassuring demeanor. Time felt like it stopped as the two of you just stared at one another. It was starting to feel like these pauses in these instances were becoming more frequent. As your rapid heart rate. Especially when Chan leaned in a bit further; “But you do still have to answer my question.”

Question?

Your eyebrows scrunched together as your brain racked through what he was mentioning. What question? Did you dissociate during your time together and forget something?

He leaned a bit closer. You could feel his breath on your cheek as his eyes bore into yours. “Why...” his whisper was soft. Shivers running down your spine in anticipation. You didn’t know for what but knew that you were ready for whatever Chan threw at you. His hand slowly rising to brush a strand of hair behind your ear. Fingertips lightly grazing your skin.

“...do you guys have so many god damn mugs?”

The bark of laughter that coursed through you made those dimples you love reappear on his face. “You’re a fucking twat, you know that right?” You giggled as he moved his arm from your side to rest around your shoulder and pull you close to his chest. He feigned hurt at your words as he used his foot to move the ottoman with you, trying to keep your leg comfortable in the new position.

“It’s a genuine question; I’m concerned.”

“If you must know, we are caffeine addicts in this dorm.”

“Again--concerned.”

As the two of you laughed, you rested your cheek against his chest. Continuing the banter as the television continued its schedule. You weren’t sure how long had passed before Chan pulled out his phone and sighed a bit.

“I should get going,” he sounded annoyed. He knew he should head out and leave before your group came back from schedule, but his body didn’t react to his rational thinking. Fully content with you in his arms. Heart nearly melting at the sight of you looking up from his chest, lips pressed into a scowl at the mention of his departure.

“Don’t leave,” you nuzzled as close as you could. Grinning, as you could hear his heartbeat just a little faster at the gesture. “You just got here.”

Chan grinned as he pressed his forehead against yours. Scrunching up his nose a bit as his brushed the tip of yours. His smile infectious as his hand cupped your cheek. “Yea, still don’t understand Spanish, but when you’re all healed up, we can catch up again. Okay?”

“Okay,” you huff as you both pull away slightly. But his hand stops you from pulling back all the way. Thumb rubbing gently on your cheek as he stared down at your lips then back up to your eyes. Was he... asking for permission? This was new territory for both of you. Usually when together, it was a flurry of passion. Skin against skin, mouths usually too busy exploring each other’s bodies, clothes thrown aside. Nothing needed to be asked. Yet here you were, giving Chan a small nod before meeting him in the middle and pressing a gentle kiss on each other's lips. It was sweet. Lamblike. Nothing like the whirlwind that arose when the two of you were usually together. Chan felt his blood pumping through him, and for the first time it was not heading straight to his dick. His hand tried to keep the two of you as close as possible. Lips moving together in slow, almost calculated, motions. His tongue briefly brushing against your bottom lip with each rise and fall, but never fully making its way into your mouth. You could’ve groaned at the teasing, yet it somehow didn’t feel like that was his intention. It was almost as if he wanted to take his time with you. Prolonging what he could control.

Chan didn’t want this to end.

But when he finally pulled away to catch his breath, he looked down at you. Your eyes bright and wide. Showing him exactly every constellation of the universe in those wonderful orbs of yours. He opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it.

“Do you want to go on a date?”

Your brain so rewired from the kiss you didn’t even realize you asked him in Spanish. You hadn’t meant to ask him out at all in fact, just out to a simple cup of coffee or something, not wanting to be as far away from him as you were these past couple of weeks. But as those dimples appeared on his face again—you knew you couldn’t take it back. It was now or never.

“You know I have no idea what you’re saying.” Chan could gather it was a question directed at him, but that was the extent of his knowledge.

His face-tinged pink as you placed a chaste kiss on his cheek; “Figure it out, and get back to me.”

God, it was just like you to reel him back in. Without realizing what you were doing, you still somehow knew how to push all his buttons in all the right ways. Just as he was about to lean in again, the door to the apartment unlocked and your team barreled through. Stopping at the corridor corner to stare at the two of you. Their laughter halting just as quickly as their feet. Chan and you quickly created distance from one another.

“Hi, ladies.” You gave a small smile as Chan cleared his throat and abruptly stood up. His face turning red as he tucked his hands nervously into his pockets.

“Ahem, er, well. I’ll be on my way out!” He gave you an awkward bow before making his way to the door. Bowing nonstop to your team, who was still frozen in place, their bodies moving with him as he attempted to escape.

“Chan?” His head popped from around the corner. The poor man looked like a bat out of hell. Two parts of equally embarrassed and terrified, with his face turning crimson and his eyes wide with fear. His body language was tense, as if he didn't know what to do or where to go. Trying to hold back your chuckle, you nodded towards the kitchen counter. “Your jacket.”

“Ah, right right!” He bustled past your girls, more awkward bows as he grabbed his jacket and returned to the door—making a haste retreat out of the apartment—leaving you to clean up the mess. How sweet.

Your youngest turned to you with wide eyes. A deer trapped in headlights. The other two just had their mouths open, staring at the closed door. As if their minds were tricking them to see the Bang Chan leaving their living room in a hurry. “So, um...” you clap your hands together and gesture to the takeaway on the counter.

“Anyone hungry?”

"Are you sure you’re getting the pronunciation right?”

Changbin, Hyunjin, and Jisung were gathered around Chan, their eyes glued to his laptop screen as they tried suggestions to type into Google Translate. It's been two days since you told Chan to ‘figure it out’, and though he thought the question was harmless, it was eating away at him. Tossing and turning throughout the night, there was nothing else he could fully focus on. His dorm mates found him hunched over his keyboard, furiously typing away, trying his best to decipher your phrase late at night when they decided to help in any way that they could. Between the four of them—it was just one brain cell rotating back and forth at midnight.

“How many different ways is there to type out this word?” Chan grumbled as Changbin pulled out his phone.

“Depending on the context, about three. Each one meaning different things somehow?”

“Dear, God!” Chan groaned and held his face in his hands. Hyunjin patted Chan’s back sympathetically.

“You know what you have to do.”

“No, no—anything but that.” Chan turned his head to face Hyunjin, his brows scrunched together in frustration. Not wanting to admit defeat. Jisung sighed and put his hand on Chan’s other shoulder.

“We’ve been going at this for hours--”

“Ten minutes.” Changbin corrected Jisung.

“--for what feels like hours.” Jisung rectified, “You have to put your big boy pants on and call her.”

“It’s almost one in the morning--”

“Hyung,” Changbin groaned. “Stop being a baby and just call her. We all know she’ll be up. She’s practically an owl.”

Chan swiveled in his chair as he watched them leave his room one by one. “Wait, wait—please don’t! We can keep trying Google!” Jisung mouthing a ‘sorry’ before he closed Chan’s bedroom door. Leaving him to do the one thing he knew he would never hear the end of.

Pulling out his phone his finger briefly hovering over the contact before sighing and hitting the video call button. It rang once, twice, and on the third ring he was met by a zoomed in eyeball on his screen.

“For fucks’ sake, Hannah, can you be normal for once?”

Hannah held her phone out at arm's length, giving full view of her in her bed. Some journals and crumbled up pages littered her bed giving indication that she was up late trying to express herself in her own creative process. Apparently, insomniac gifted night owls ran in their bloodline. “Geez, you’re in a mood,” Hannah grumbled as she sat up in her bed, “What’s up?”

She listened as her older brother described the events from two days ago. Chan tried to ignore the growing grin on her face as he continued on, trying his best to pronounce the words you whispered to him to the best of his ability. “So,” Chan fell into his bed with a ‘thump’. His head hitting his pillows as he stared up at his phone, holding it above him as he waited, “what did she ask?”

Hannah continued that shit eating grin of hers as she sang her next words; “Channie’s got a girlfriend~”

“Hannah--”

“You like like her, huh?” Hannah talked over Chan as he just rolled his eyes. Proving his case and point that he was going to regret this call.

“Hannah, for the love of God. Can you just tell me?”

“I’m sorry what was that?” Hannah cupped her ear and feigned confusion. “I think you were missing a word or two there. Probably bad cell connection.”

Tricky little--

“Hannah,” he replied as nicely as he could through his gritted teeth, “can you please tell me what she said.”

“I believe my name is ‘sister-that-is-always-right'.”

“I’m hanging up--”

“Wait, wait!” Hannah’s giggles rang through Chan’s speakers as one hand still held his phone above him and the other hovered over the ‘end phone call’ button on his screen. “Okay, okay! I’m sorry.”

“Geez,” Hannah gave her brother a knowing look, “you’ve got it bad, huh? She’s got you all in a tizzy.”

“Hannah, its late. And I haven’t slept in two days. Can you please just--”

“She asked you out, idiot.”

More laughter from the speaker could be heard as the phone slipped from his fingers and fell square onto his face. Hannah taking a blurry screen shot before it made contact—still able to see the look of pure surprise, sprinkled with elation, in the candid photo.

A week. One whole week. No text, no call. Pure silence.

As much as you enjoyed solitude, especially when it came to your teammates, you couldn’t help but feel at lost from not hearing back from Chan. Your mind was constantly racing, even as you currently sat with your girls on the couch, watching Singin’ In the Rain—your thoughts were consumed of Chan and his out of character ghosting.

Maybe he couldn’t figure it out? Maybe he was busy; he was a global sensation after all. His schedule was probably fluctuating like water. You couldn’t blame him. He was living his dream, and there was nothing in you other than pride.

And some self-doubt.

Because as much as you wanted to believe that he was running back and forth like a crazy man, there was still one thought that rang louder than the rest—maybe he just wasn’t interested. It wasn’t a far-off idea. You knew that all those rendezvous' nights had one unspoken rule—for that one night, and those one nights only—you were his and he was yours. But it was never supposed to go past that.

Stupid Chan for being so sweet to you; bandaging your ankle at your most exposed moment and coming in to check on you when you were too embarrassed at yourself and running away from any form of confrontation. You once told DIV studios that you were immune to Chan’s flirting—but you never said anything about his affection.

“Ah,” your youngest sighed from her next to you on the couch. She craned her head to look at the door after hearing a soft knock. “That’s probably the pizza.” Without another word, all four of you started to play rock-paper-scissors. Ultimately ending with your loss, and the girls whooping their celebration as you got up and made your way to the door. You opened it without taking a look in the peep hole.

Chan stood there, wearing a black mask to go with his hoodie and beanie. Despite half his face being covered you could tell it was him from the way his eyes crinkled. Was that—nervousness you saw?

“I would--” Chan cleared his throat when you just stood there, unable to form words on your mouth, “I would love to go on a date with you.”

When you didn’t speak, he shifted a bit more on his feet. “That’s um... all I know how to say.” Chan chuckled to ease the tension. You take note how his hands are tucked into the front pouch of his hoodie. No doubt fiddling with his rings anxiously as he shifted in his place. Chan felt like he was back in middle school asking a girl to dance for the first time. Butterflies, knots in the stomach, all the works, were rushing through him.

"Say something, you idiot!” You heard your youngest hiss at you. All three of them are leaning over the couch’s backrest to watch the scene unfolding in front of them. Ears and face flushed all you could do was nod your head. You wanted to speak. Wanted to jump and giggle your way into his arms. But hearing him speak Spanish—everything in you was so hot and flustered. A hold that you just couldn’t bring yourself to get out of.

“Great--cool,” Chan was glad for the mask. That way you couldn’t see him biting the inside of his cheek. “Did you...want to go now?”

“Now?”

“Now?” your girls parroted, and you finally got out of your frozen state to glare at them. Your youngest making a motion of zipping her lips and throwing away the key.

“I have a packed schedule for the rest of the week.” A blatant lie. Truth was, Chan couldn’t wait anymore. He wanted to see how this would all pan out. He just didn’t want to show just how desperate he was to spend time with you. But the way you bit your lip and stood aside to let him in, he knew that part of you could see through it all. You quickly excused yourself to your room to get ready, knowing that your oversized comic shirt and sleeping shorts would not cut it for a night out.

Your girls’ eyes narrowed as Chan stood in the hallway. Another awkward bow towards them in greeting as he waited for you. When he first knocked on your door it required all of his resolve to remain in place, as he struggled to overcome his desire to bolt and flee. The intimidation he felt about you potentially passing on the offer was too much, but he pushed through it. The thought of you saying yes outweighed the cons that tumbled through his head. Yet, as he stood under the prying eyes of your team, he felt that same fear overtake him because he knew this wouldn’t be a conversation.

It would be an interrogation.

“Where are you taking her?”

“Somewhere special.” A spot he held close to his heart, he wanted to add, but they cut in before he could express his words.

“Late at night? Why?” One quipped before another added; “Trying to pull something sly on her?”

“What? No, I-I, I’ve had a busy schedule--”

“Oh, so everything should be based on when you’re available?”

“What? No! It’s just--”

They were going so fast, Chan barely had time to think of a response before the other fired off another question.

“You think because you’re famous, you can just jerk her around?” Your youngest glared at him. He opened his mouth quickly, but another was quick to intercept him.

“Such typical male behavior.”

“Alright, that’s enough!” Everyone quickly turned to you as you stepped out of your room. Putting an end to the girl’s questioning, much to Chan’s relief. You smiled as you leaned over the couch to pinch your youngest cheek before turning back to Chan.

“Shall we head out?”

“Wow,” is all you could say as Chan lead you to a lone bench. After about a half mile climb up the staircase, the two of you finally reached your destination—on top of a hill overlooking Seoul’s city lights. With the late hour, the city was asleep leaving the feeling that it was only the two of you in the world. The both of you sat on that bench for an hour or two, just catching up from the week you spent apart. Conversation flowing naturally between the two of you once again. Chan told you that he would sneak up here every now and then to clear his head after working his expected long hours. Everything was quiet enough for him to just detach--but your howls ringing through the clearing was just as welcoming to his ears.

“Okay, okay!” You laughed as Chan had to explain putting his pride aside to ask his younger sister for help. His arm was around your shoulder, pulling you in close as the two of you watched the quiet city below. “So, you went through all of that, but you didn’t think of calling me for like a hint or something?”

“You said to figure it out!”

“Not if it meant selling your soul!”

Chan chuckled as his grip around you tightened a bit, shaking you as you laughed. His eyes locked on to you; the way your face was red due to the chilly night, the crinkles around your eyes as you smiled, and the way you scrunched up your nose. “For you—it was worth it.”

God, how much you wanted to pull down that damn mask of his and touch his lips with yours. Everything about this night was perfect. But soon, the clock hit 3am and the two of you decided to head back before your girls decided to send a search team for you. Getting up with a groan, Chan laced his fingers with yours as he led you towards the exit.

Chan noticed the way you stared down at the stairs, your eyebrows pinched together at the thought of having to walk all the way down. He wondered briefly if your ankle was still bothering you. It's been weeks since the sprain, but if you soldiered your way climbing up the steps there was a chance that you were feeling some tension on the tendon. Without a word, he let go of your hand and went down two steps and leaned a bit forward. Casting a glance over his shoulder he gestured for you to ‘hop on’. You giggled as you jumped and latched around him like a koala. He feigned a groan at the impact as he adjusted you before grabbing onto the underside of your thighs to hoist you up.

“Hey, hey!” Chan giggled as you hooked your chin on his shoulder and blew into his ear. “Cut it out or I’m leaving you here!”

You giggled as you muttered an apology as he continued to descend the steps. Chan hummed as he became your personal lackey, taking in the night sights and the clear star filled sky. Your eyes never leaving his profile as the gears in your head turned; “Why did it take you so long to say yes?”

Chan stumbled on a step for a second before readjusting you in his grip. “I figured since you asked me in Spanish,” Chan kept his gaze focused on the trail ahead, “that I should reply in Spanish.”

“You practiced for days to get it perfect, didn’t you.”

The embarrassed chuckle from Chan was all confirmation you needed. And, though you didn’t think it was possible, you felt you heart swell as you snuggled closer to his nape.

“Did we not have a great date?”

“We did.”

“And now it’s coming to an end.”

“It is.”

“Then--,” you huff and cross your arms across your chest. Chan smiles and leans his shoulder against your door, looking down at you as you pout and look anywhere else but at him. He could tell that you were trying to pull something out of him. What it was he wasn’t exactly sure, but seeing you turn red, and struggle was entertaining to watch. You were being cute.

To both of your disappointment; the evening was coming to an end. And despite your subtle attempts to pull some physical intimacy from Chan during the car ride back to your dorm, Chan was doing his very best to hold himself back in anyway that he could.

“Then?” Chan grinned down at you. His fingers lightly grazing your chin and tilt you head up towards him.

You finally bit your lower lips and looked up at him. Yes, you were beating around the bush. But him? He was just fully toying with you. His Libra was showing. “Then…

Why haven’t you kissed me?”

It felt like everything was going backward. Ever since he asked you on this date, it felt like he was trying to distance himself. Holding back in any way that he could. But that wouldn’t be it--would it? The way your eyes kept roaming to his lips throughout the night should’ve been more than enough to hint at what you wanted most. Unlike Chan, you were not holding back. You craved anything he was willing to give. He caught you--hook line and sinker.

Chan took note of the way your breath hitched as his hand reached out to place a strand of your hair behind your ear. Your cheeks flushed as he slowly closed the distance. His hand now sneaking behind your head to hold you still as his lips press flush against yours. Once he felt you bring your body against his own, the desperation between you both became almost palpable. Chan's hand found its way to your waist to make sure there was no space left, while the one holding the back of your neck tightened around your roots. The tension caused some slight pain, causing you to moan against his kiss.

“Do you…” You attempted to catch your breath. Despite breaking away from the kiss, neither of you made a move to detach from one another. His grip on your waist tightened as he subtly tried to rub himself against you. Chan’s restraint was slowly dissipating at finally having contact with you after all this. “Do you want to come in?”

Chan groaned as he felt you press your pelvis even harder against him. All the teasing was thrown out the window. All he could think about was how long it had been without feeling your bare body against his. But he knew better. There was something he wanted more than just another night of passion.

He wanted you.

“No,” Chan shook his head before placing a small peck on your forehead. “I--I want to do this right.”

You were checking your phone every hour. You hated to admit just how much of a hold Chan had on you and yet here you were-- waiting at a bar entrance when he texted you in the middle of the night that he was finally free to meet up. It was a long week since your first date with Chan, who was immediately busy with album prep the very next morning. Being the sweet man he was, he promised to take you out for a drink to make up for it. Though he really didn't need too. You constantly teased him over the phone that you no longer wake up to your alarm, but to the sweet -cheesy- texts that he sends every morning. Or over the fact that he video calls you right before bed, his snores filling your room even when miles apart. A gentle reminder that he hasn't forgotten about you despite the conflicting schedules.

"Five minutes," the text on your phone read, "Felix and Jeongin decided to pop by to convince Bin and the others to join them for barbeque - be there soon!"

So immersed in trying to find the perfect gif as your reply back, you didn't notice the lone man who was smoking a cigarette, eyeing you. He slowly made his way over, and when you finally spotted him from the corner of your eye , you gave a small polite smile as he attempted to start conversation with you. You let him drunkenly flirt with you - again-just trying to be polite. And from the way he was holding the conversation he didn't seem to be a threat of any sort. So you laughed at his attempts to flirt, stumbling over himself constantly whenever he would meet your eyes. "Sorry," he mumbled as he scratched the back of his head , "I'm usually better at this."

"It's okay," you chuckle softly, "but I think it's best to let you know that I'm not looking for anything right now.”

"Ah," the man gave an embarrassed smile ,"should've known someone as pretty as you would have a boyfriend.”

It was an innocent comment, but it threw you off guard for a moment, and your thoughts were thrown into a silent chaos. Being in training for a majority of your life, it wasn't like you had full experiences in relationships. Some kisses and fun here and there, yes, but you never had the chance to dive into the world of dating. Chan and you only had one date, and he did say that he wanted to do this right-- did that constitute a relationship in his eyes? It did in yours, but was that enough to have his eyes not stray? To shoot down someone whenever they would come up to him and drunkenly try to shoot their shot?

A hand wrapping around your waist and pulling you closer to their side, stopped your thoughts from spiraling. Your head inclined to see that profile you had imprinted into your mind as he carried you down those steps without breaking a sweat. Despite the mask covering him you knew who it was-- however, that crinkle around his eyes was gone as Chan glared at the man you were speaking too. "She does," he growled uncharacteristically. A warning to the man as he claimed what was his. Chan didn't give the man a moment to respond as he looked down at you, his dark eyes finally shedding some light as his gaze locked with yours. "You ready to head in?"

Even though it was a question, Chan didn't allow you to answer as he guided you the opposite way down the sidewalk. Walking right past the bar he invited you out to. "Wait aren't we—”

“Changed my mind," Chan grumbled as he kept leading you down the sidewalk. “Too many drunk idiots. I know a place we can sit and eat. I'll buy you as many drinks as you want, or all the galbi you can eat? I know a joint that also makes really good jerky—”

When you paused in your tracks, some anxiety washed through Chan. Did he take it too far? He couldn't help it seeing someone trying to make their move on you—

“You called me your girlfriend,” a cheeky grin plastered on your face. Chan felt his checks heat up and he cleared his throat to turned to look away. His hand never leaving your waist.

"Technically, I just confirmed that you have a boyfriend."

Without missing a beat you stepped in front of Chan and lowered his mask to rest on his chin. You made sure to tuck his hoodie over his head to cover his face from prying eyes even though it was late at night and the streets were virtually empty. Chan gulped as you stared right at him. Not at the physical body standing in front of you—at him. "Say it," you breathed out. Chan had to steady his heart as you spoke. It wasn't a request, but a demand. Your hands staying on his hoodie as you waited for him to comply.

"You have a boyfriend," he gave a cheeky grin back as you groaned. Knowing exactly the words you wanted to hear, but decided to tease you just a bit.

"Chan—”

"You're my girlfriend.” Chan placed his hands back on your hips and absent-mindedly traced little circles just above the trim where your skin was slightly exposed. He suddenly felt nervous as he realized he was just staking a claim without talking to you about it. But the way you were almost begging to hear those words, let him know that you wanted this as much as he does. Yes, you only had one date. But the months leading up to that were the best months he had in a very long time. "And if you want, I'll be your boyfriend ..."

As you stayed quiet, he felt those damn nerves coming back up. He tried to gauge your reaction as you just stared at him, but got nothing. " What?" he joked to lighten the tension and his anxiety. "Want me to say that in Spanish to—”

Using the grip you had on his hoodie, you pulled his head down towards you and crashed your lips against his. His little squeak of surprise was muffled as your tongue grazed his bottom lip to ask for entrance. The circles he was tracing stopped immediately as he tightened his grip around you and pulled you closer. Deepening the kiss as much as he could without it being too inappropriate out in public.

You whispered against him as the two of you finally parted for air. "Let's get out of here."

Dinner was forgotten as Chan practically ran the two of you back to his dorm room. Your shirt was ripped off of you the moment he closed his bedroom door with his foot. Chan grinned wildly as you parted from his flushed lips to kiss his neck, trailing your little love bites more and more down south until you fully rested on your knees before him. Watching excitedly as your fingers made quick work of his confines and taking him into your mouth. As your eyes batted up at him, Chan let out a shaky breath and rested his head slightly against the wooden door. You couldn't contain your moans around his length as his fingers threaded your hair, gently guiding you to take him all the way to the back of your throat. Nose pressed to his pelvis.

"Look at you," Chan cooed as your eyes pooled tears from his intrusion, "all desperate from calling you mine."

Hearing you gag around his growing cock made his hips buck. Your hands found the back of his knees as he continued to rut into your filthy mouth. Your roots being slightly tugged as he tried to ground himself. The feeling of your tongue rolling around the underside of him while you suctioned in your cheeks to create a vacuum almost had him unraveling in you right then and there.

He pulled on your strands, your mouth leaving his erection with a wet 'plop', to have you standing upright before him. Your lips were parted as your chest heaved to take in deep breathes. Face flush and lips swollen he felt his cock twitch at your fucked out expression. You could've sworn you heard a growl escape him as he hoisted you up, your legs wrapping around him instinctively, lips crashing against yours and threw you on his bed. You discarded the rest of your clothes as Chan watched you, licking his lips. He could still taste himself from the residue on your lips. Ready to pounce and devour you, as if his eyes weren't already doing that enough.

"What?" Your teasing tone brought Chan out of his predatory gaze. He watched as your fingers trailed down to your core. Lightly grazing your folds, enticing him as you spread your arousal around. "Cat got your tongue?"

"Don't worry," Chan purred as he crawled onto the bed. His mouth hovering right above your mound, breath tickling your skin. "There's only one cat that has the pleasure of my tongue right now."

You gripped his sheets as soon as his tongue made contact with your bundle of nerves. Wasting no time to insert a finger to prep you. Not that you needed it, he moaned at the thought, you were already so wet. Just ready for him. All for him.

With another finger, he curled against your walls, setting the exact pace that he knew you loved. His palm keeping that delicious pressure against your clit as he moved his body up to catch a nipple between his teeth. Sucking onto it as if he was expecting something to come out of it. The thought had you reeling as your hand found his head. Holding him close against you as your hips ground against his fingers.

'I would love to go on a date with you'

'No, I want to do this right.'

'I wanted to make sure you're alright. '

Simple little sentences here and there. Words formed by the man that made you absolutely weak to your knees. Each one lead you to where you were right now—closing in on your orgasm with the most perfect man practically worshipping you.

"Chan," you whimpered, "Channie, need you in me."

Need to come around you.

The words you didn't say. But as Chan removed his lips from your breast and glanced up at you—he knew. Knew how much you craved something more than his digits to take you all the way. That you needed that stretch that only he could provide.

You squeaked as he ripped his fingers from your depths, grabbing your hips, and practically throwing you onto your stomach. He growled as you rested on all fours, arching your back and presenting yourself instantly, his teeth biting your cheeks and finally leaving those marks he desperately wanted to give you in the Inkigayo supply closet. The same growl that vibrated through him when he spoke to the man that flirted with you outside the bar earlier tonight.

Deep and guttural. Almost feral.

You almost came right then and there.

Chan and you hissed as he pressed his tip against your entrance. Chan's hand coming to the curve of your back and gently guiding you to bend a bit further for him. Your check rested on his mattress as he rubbed up and down your folds, coating himself with your arousal. "You gotta let me in," Chan teased as he experimentally pressed into you again. Still to no avail. All those weeks without one another made you lose the shape of him it seemed. Chan clicked his tongue and pressed a kiss on your spine. He didn't mind; it just meant he had to keep reminding your body. He'd gladly do so all night long if he had too.

You, on the other hand, we're starting to get frustrated. You needed him in you, it's been far too long without you wrapped around him. Your fingers, the toys you hid in your room, nothing compared to this. To him.

You pushed against him, mind too foggy to even care about the burn. Thoughts were wholly consumed of him. Chan moaned as he felt himself slightly press into you. "Careful,” he hissed as he grabbed your hips to stop you, "you're going to hurt yourself."

You turned to look over your shoulder. Your hair that was once pulled back for the date was coming undone. Strands were thrown around your face. Completely disheveled.

"Don't care."

Chan felt something in him snap. Those two words were all he needed to push himself entirely in you in one thrust. You practically screamed, and Chan was quick to wrap his hand around your mouth to muffle you. His hip never stopping their pace as he leaned down to groan in your ear; “If you don't keep it down, the kids will hear you."

By the time the two of you entered the shared dorm, the rest of his roommates had already returned from their time at the barbeque and were deep asleep in their rooms. Guess they decided against a big meal and went out for something quicker. So, you did your best to keep it down as much as you could. But by God, was that one of the most difficult things to do as Chan kept reaching the deepest part of you. Scratching that itch that you haven't been able to reach yourself for months.

Chan hoisted you up once he felt your walls adjust to him, hand still on your mouth as your back pressed flush to his chest. The other wrapping around you to rub messy circles against your clit. Your eyes rolled back as you felt your thighs spasm, pure unadulterated ecstasy coursing through your veins. Your mouth hung open as you panted heavily into his palm. The loud moans that escaped you were traded out with small whimpers. Silent little pleas for Chan to take you there.

His lips never left your skin. Kissing on your neck, jaw, ear—anything that he could latch onto so he could muffle his own noise. Only allowing the slaps of his thighs against yours to fill the room.

"Are you close?” Chan groaned in your ear. He could feel you clenching around him, closing in on your orgasm. "Where do you want it, stomach or behind?"

You shook your head at his question, whimpering against him. Neither of those is what you wanted. Him. You wanted him.

Chan felt his brow furrow slightly. This was a first. His hips slowed as the pieces of the puzzles came together. "Oh, oh?"

He withdrew entirely, earning a grumble of protest from you, and flipped you to lie on your back. He couldn't deny that he wanted it as well, and he'll be damned if he couldn't look you in the eyes as you felt his warm seed enter you for the first time. Chan's hand rested gently on your lower abdomen, kneading the skin underneath his fingertips. "Is this where you want it? Here?"

You didn't know it was possible but you could've sworn a mini orgasm washed through you as you heard him ask in Spanish. Chan chuckled quietly as he lined back up with you and gently pushed in until he was nice and snug in your warmth. Hand still on you, "I guess I can oblige. After all this is mine, right?"

"Yes, yes—” You instantly replied as he picked up his pace again. Chan's mouth finding yours in a messy kiss. The gentle touch of his palm turned into a pressure as he started to push down. No words could explain the obscene thoughts that went through his head as he felt himself move through you. He breathed in your moans that grew louder and louder with every thrust.

A crescendo as the waves of pleasure rolled higher and higher. Until it all came crashing down. Your hands found the back of his head, holding him close, as the surge flooded your mind, body, and soul with pure white hot ecstasy.

With the pressure of you holding him tight, on both ends, Chan found himself releasing deep inside you. Coating you with the very warmth you've yearning for months. Claiming everything he ever wanted.

As the ripples started to quell between the two of you, you and Chan finally parted for air. You couldn't help but give a teasing grind of your hips, earning a hiss from Chan as he pulled gently out of you before collapsing on the bed next to you face first.

"What are you doing?" You laughed as Chan just groaned in response.

“That was so good, I think I died.” His voice came muffled though his sheets. You propped yourself on your elbow on the bed before smacking your palm down on one of his cheeks. Your laughter roaring through the room as he squealed before turning on his side to find you looking down at him with that shit eating smirk. "Come here," he laughed before pulling you to lay on his chest.

Your head laid on his bare chest, listening in to his heart beat and the air that flowed in and out of his lungs. Chan's arm wrapped around you as one of your free hands traced idle circles along his collarbone, the other resting under his head in the afterglow. “Stay," he whispered so softly you barely heard him.

A plea for you to not leave him in the middle of the night like you used to before. "Of course,” you place a small kiss on his jaw before resting your eyes. Afterall, this wasn't a redezvous. This was something more. And for the rest of the night, Chan held you snug against him.

Chan only woke up when the sunlight flitted through his curtains. Groaning he turned to his side, arm stretched out in search for you. Only to be met with his sheets. His eyes flashed open and the dark brown orbs frantically scanned the room. His heart sank when he couldn't find your figure.

You promised.

Dawning some sweats, he made his way to the shared bathroom. Stopping in his tracks when a familiar giggle echoed through the dorm.

"Look who's finally awake," you smile. Chan took notice that you stole one of his hoodies and sweats as you, Jisung , and Changbin sat at the dinning room table. Hair up in a bun, completely tilted off to the side, as if you lived here your entire life. You belonged.

Images of his dream during his time in Paris flashed through his mind briefly.

You giggled as Chan walked around the table to wrap his arms around your shoulders and kiss your neck in greeting. Changbin and Jisung made gagging noises, but Chan just flipped them off before sliding a stool to sit next to you. "What are you guys talking about?"

He took note how your cheeks flushed and looked away from the table. Suddenly interested in the fruit bowl that sat on the kitchen island. Jisung made himself busy by clearing out the dirty plates and walking over to the sink. Deciding it wouldn’t be appropriate to have that kind of discussion with his elder. Changbin, however, was a stark contrast from the two of you. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Oh," Changbin said with a drawl, “nothing much."

"Just trying to see how we can sound proof your room so the rest of the dorm can sleep without any," Changbin casted a glance at you, “interruptions."

Author's Note: I want to say I apologize for how long this took me! Work, life, and everything in between has been dragging me down and I lost some inspiration during the time away. I want to thank everyone for their kind words for part 1. I do have an idea for part 3. However, I won't have a timeline of when it can be done, since work has been leaving me a bit more drained than I imagined and I'm usually a zombie by the time I get home. Hope you enjoyed it and so sorry it's so long

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[heartfullofleeches]

[18+, Top/Dom Reader. Male/Amab Darling, they/them pronouns used for personal preference]

Femboy Cheerleader Darling dragging their jock bf to the mall- Normally, he'd just hand Darling money and lets his sweetheart go off on their own, but on this day darling decided they needed a little company. How could he refuse when Darling propositioned the idea of him tagging along as a cute date? Walk around for a bit, grab some lunch- Knowing how easy it was for Darling to get side tracked, their boyfriend knew the afternoon wouldn't be as linear as they implied- He only went to big spaces like the mall when he knew what he needed, but since it was time wasted with his future spouse he'd cherish every second.

Darling is so happy he agreed- The additional company meant more freedom for their hands when the bags started piling up. Hands they could use to properly thank their generous boyfriend who does so much to make them smile. It's starts off with Darling massaging the side of his thigh while they're in line to grab a smoothie. He loved whenever they tended to his aching muscles after practice. They've been walking for some time now so he's probably feeling some tension down there, the poor guy.

Their hands paw at his waist as the crowds grow denser. There's so many people around Darling might get lost if they don't hold onto him. With strangers squeezing and pushing past them to get by, Darling has no choice but to cling on to their big, strong boyfriend tighter - cock pressed to his meaty ass from the lining of their favorite skirt. It's not like anyone notices but him, face hot as he balances all of Darling's purchases on his arms.

Things only escalated from there as the couple find themselves alone in an elevator - Darling's face now smushed against their boyfriend's large pecs as they check his heart rate. With all that commotion outside it has be through the roof- Darling isn't entirely wrong when they come to that conclusion.

Darling has a big surprise for their lover when they teach their final destination- If it's still in stock that is. Something that cute is bound to have a lot of eyes. The most adorable sundress which hung off the wearer's shoulders and complimented their figure. Darling had picked up other items on their trip, but this is what they came to the mall for. There was another reason they chose this store to end things off on. They'd heard through the grapevine vine how understaffed this store in particular was and how they had no cameras in the changing roos. Perfect for thief....and other activities.

Jock Yan stumbles out of the changing room short of breath and drenched in his own sweat - amongst other fluids. It's a miracle he was able to keep quiet. Darling had to reward him in the best way they knew how, but perhaps they should have gone a bit easier on him until they got home. Their boyfriend was always a little sore after they were through playing with him. Darling pays for the dress they still have on - carrying their man back down to the food court where they treat him to some ice cream with their own pocket money as if it were just another normal date.

-

Smaller Dom Femboy Reader, my love- I wanna do a full length version of this someday, but I got two horn-knee fics coming this week so come back at a later date....

Unless.....👉👈

[cuntdevil]

★ NEVER BE ENOUGH !

the fan fiction he writes for you will never be enough, and neither is the week he's been gifted to meet you. it will never be enough until he has you in his hold.

( fic demographics. ) jujutsu kaisen, kamo choso, dark content & sexually mature | minors, ageless & blank blogs : do not interact & 17k words !

╰┈➤ fanboy/fan fic writer!kamo choso & actress!reader, choso has a tumblr account, parasocial relationship, obsessive!kamo choso, stalking, nonconsensual photo taking, mentions of masturbation, sexual fantasies, fingering, oral (female receiving), unprotected sex, overstimulation, creampie, etc.

( author's note. ) i enjoyed writing this piece so much, even though i was a bit nervy !! i hope you lot enjoy as well !! much love, baebies. mwah !

They say people that write fan fiction are weird. That they’re stuck in a world that will never become a reality. That they’re obsessed with fiction instead of focusing on the authentic. And, in a way, it’s true. They have an imagination that brings them to wonders and they hope to escape the real world. They spend hours on end trying to perfect scenes, hyper-fixating on one specific idea that came to them at the whee hours in the middle of the night that they just had to bring to life to alleviate the constant badgering inside of their mind. They give people a gift, something free to read in their spare time, for nothing in exchange except for a like, reblog and a comment to share their feelings. 

Choso, he doesn’t feel ashamed when he admits that he indulges in fan fiction to his friends. Why should he? It is, after all, a form of creativity. However, the teasing becomes annoying and it’s all they can talk about for weeks on end, so instead, he keeps it to himself because he just can’t be bothered. But, to say he’s ashamed? No, that’s something he’ll never be. 

Why should he be when he can fabricate an entire universe inside of his mind? Why should he be when he can beckon thousands of people to read his work and garner a following that tells him that he’s not alone — that there are people who enjoy his work and what he can create with the right pairings of words and phrases? Why should he be when he has mutuals that write alongside him, doing what they love to do?

Call him an extremist all they want, but if other men can create their dream characters in their fantasy footballs and have entire plotlines to how they came to the top, what’s so different from it? He should be able to love something so much that he needed to create his own world(s) of it. Even if they all revolve around you. 

If anyone were to scroll through his masterlists, they'd see that over one hundred of them had your name in it. Didn’t matter if it was a specific character you played or if it revolved around the real you, it was a consistent list that let his readers know that he was irrevocably in love with you. It was concerning until they saw a different name not tied down to you, clicking on the link as their previous remarks were quickly forgotten. 

He had first come to know of you through a sit-com, Big House. A child actress with the cutest of eyes. You had called all the attention on you as viewers loved you the moment you were introduced, rating going higher and the television series going for a total of eight seasons. It was a long-running show during the time that it ended, but Choso soon learned that all the episodes he had been watching at the time were reruns and weren’t current. It had disappointed him as he, too, saw your appeal to the mass.

He had next seen you on another show aimed for kids and families, once again, compiling high ratings for television companies as you had many side projects of modeling, acting in different franchises, and even dabbling in a short-term music career (It was an inside joke to fandom that your singing career remains unmentioned). However, Choso didn’t feel inclined to write until you starred in Us Against the World. 

For the first time, you were the main star of the show, finally showing the world your true capabilities and leaving everyone enamored by your performance. It worked especially well in your favor as previously, you were tied to a huge controversy that tarnished your name, being labeled as Hollywood’s Supreme Diva, after freshly turning eighteen and paparazzi weren’t so nice. 

The countdown to your eighteenth birthday had been a disaster as preying men had been looking forward to the big one-eight and the media entertained it— sexualizing your transition from child to adulthood. You had already started rebelling at sixteen, photo-ops have proof of you smoking and participating in underage drinking. Mothers ridiculed you, fathers fantasized about you. It was so disgusting in Choso’s eyes, his thick pieces on Tumblr being proof of it.

When the day had come and you wanted to celebrate despite the media constantly being up your ass, paparazzi were bombarding you the moment you slipped outside of a Casino, reaching for you in attempts to ask you invading questions. You had your bodyguards with you, but one managed to sneak through the cracks, reaching straight for your breasts. There were two infamous shots taken back then— one of you being groped and the next one you punching said paparazzi square in the jaw. 

Your father made you take self-defense classes, and you knew you could throw a punch. It was evident on the sleazy man’s face that you could, too, but in efforts to keep his dignity intact. He spit out the blood and said, “You punch like a little bitch!”

That was the title of the articles that came out the very next day, alongside (Your Name) has become the Supreme Diva of Hollywood. You seemed to have vanished after that night as people went on and on about your disrespectful nature, like you should’ve just let the man grope you. And people didn’t ignore your absence for a while, further articles being published and claiming that you were embarrassed about the way you lashed out. 

You had stayed away from the media for two to three years until you were offered a role to play the lead in a zombie television show called Us Against the World. The director had contacted you herself, explaining who she saw you as, Beatrice Martin, and how she thought you were well suited for the character, seeing everything that you went through. You had gotten so comfortable with the silence and seclusion from the world of fame that you were about to say no, but instead, your mouth had said “yes” and further promised that you were willing to at least audition for the role. 

Choso had set a reminder on his calendars of when the show would first be televised, locking himself up in the room with food and drinks as he was perched on his bed. The opening scene began with you and from that moment forth, he was hooked on the television show and you. Shortly afterwards, he had found himself immersed into the world of fandom, learning more about it and that people wrote fics based on the characters and different forms of media they enjoyed. From Wattpad to Quotev to Fanfiction.net, Choso indulged in many websites and apps. However, he felt a calling when he found Tumblr— the shitty site holding him bound by his arms and legs— the url handle kamoso becoming an account that many people look forward to clicking. 

—

You thought you were done with acting. You wanted to be, but now that you’re back under the limelight and more in control about your image, you manage to endure the brunt of the lifestyle. The worst has passed, after all. 

You’ve fallen back in love with the art of being someone else, finding comfort in the fake as you flash faux smiles and scream in agony on the camera as your significant other on screen gets ripped apart by the undead, fake blood pouring from the contraption connected to the fake arm. However, under the circumstances you’re under, you can’t stop and mourn, calling more attention to yourself under the herd of zombies hurdling your way. You have to be selfish and think for yourself, trying not to look back at the hungry mob nibbling on your dying lover. 

You run until the scene is called to a close, halting your movements as you pant. Hands landing on your knees as you hunch over and throw your head back. And when your co-star, Geto Suguru, touches your shoulder, you immediately reach to hug him, groaning as you tighten your hold around him and him doing the same. Everyone crowds together in this moment of goodbye because outside of flashbacks and cameos, this will be the last of consistently seeing him. 

And while this is all fake, some of it feels real as you will mourn the loss of another consistent cast member, soon to be replaced by someone else come episodes or seasons later. However, you’ll enjoy the video essays and the threads online people will create the moment the episode will drop— crazy conspiracy theories being said as fans stay completely in denial to the loss of another founding character. Or, people lowkey glad that they’re gone, sharing their thoughts on why they hated Geto’s character. Whatever it will be, you’ll use some of your spare time to giggle at it and message him later on that day. 

Because, outside of the bad that has come out of achieving your dreams, you really have come to enjoy the good that comes out of it. Like the contest that you’re participating in, the television company, ABC Channel, you’re currently working under partnering with ‘The Aspiring’ to host a contest, inviting a few fans to meet with any of the participating cast members of whatever show under ABC for a week. As explained to you, the contestants will submit an entry following the prompt: If you were to rewrite one episode, which one would it be, and why? 

You had found the prompt interesting when the news of a contest was announced during one of the meetings when Us Against the World was ready to start filming for the new season, opting yourself to be one of the stars who were willing to participate. It had brought a lot of shocked faces as you haven’t really shown interest in much fan interactions minus occasional hellos you’d give when someone recognized you. You had kept yourself reserved much to the media’s dismay as they were quick to write off that you had returned back to your old ways, but genuine fans were always quick to defend you, seeing you as what you are— human. Nonetheless, you received support from your fellow co-stars and staff, happy that you’re opening yourself up a bit more. 

The contest has yet to be announced, but you’re anticipating it as you also had the chance to be involved in who won for your show. It would be an opening of opportunities for the winner, a possible chance to network if they had true potential. You were always grateful that someone saw yours and you wanted to be the next person to shine the light onto someone else. You could hear your father’s voice inside your head at times, questioning you for your naivety and how you could take a risk like this. You can hear the deep, angered grumble of his voice chastising you. “How can you be so stupid? Why would you take a chance like this?”

Once upon a time, you’d let his every word dictate you. You hadn’t much choice as he was your parent and you were a minor, but you let his words become your Bible and had lost yourself along the way. While you had deterred yourself away for a while— hence the columns of you drinking and smoking— you had always let him put his foot on your neck in deciding who you were to be otherwise. It got worse when you had turned eighteen and you had let him put a halt in your acting career, wanting you out of the limelight for good. You had wanted a break, but never wanted to detach yourself entirely. When Us Against the World was offered to you, you and your father had a huge falling out about it and you haven’t seen him since. 

He’s called, and you have, but neither of you have made the effort to see one another. And, honestly? You like it that way. You want to shine without the moon standing in your way. Everyday, you’re a little closer to doing just so. 

—

theaspiring and abchannel 

Want to meet one of your favorite stars? You’re just in luck! The Aspiring and ABC are collaborating together to give dedicated fans a chance to spend a week with one of their favorite stars. All you have to answer is: If you were to rewrite one episode from your favorite ABC series, which would it be, and why? 

Put your imagination to use as we’re accepting a variety of submissions. However, please adhere to our rules and guidelines when submitting. Click the link below for more information and faqs. We can’t wait to see your submission!

www.theaspiring.com/abc-x-the-aspiring-contest 

Choso’s heart begins to race, reading the post caption, checking the account legitimacy only to see that both accounts are verified. When he clicks on the hyperlink, it sends him straight to the official website. He has to pinch himself in order to convince his mind that this is real— that this opportunity is an actuality and there’s a possibility that he can win.

He throws his phone at the far corner of the bed, too close to the edge but never falling. On his nightstand, he immediately reaches for his laptop, an idea already in mind as he spends the rest of the day writing. He typically finds himself like this when he writes, caged up inside of his bedroom as neglecting his health in order to finish a fic. The many times he had to tell himself that this wasn’t serious— fan fiction isn’t serious— and that he shouldn’t ruin his health because of it. However, he just gets so captivated by it, putting all of his focus on it and not eating or drinking or showering the entire day. His fingers would only move as his eyes got dry from looking at the screen for hours on end, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop as his mind would only go and go and go. If he didn’t get it down now, he was in fear that all of his ideas would evaporate in that very moment and they’d get lost in the abyss of forgotten epiphanies. 

Right now is the same as the last time he looked at the clock, it was only ten in the morning. When he’s finally done, it’s eight at night and the word count reads over 20k words long. He’s developed a migraine by now, finally shutting the laptop as the document automatically saves. The moment his feet hit the floor, it tingles and he has to limp his way to his bedroom door. He rolls his head back, his vision getting funny as he opens the door. He’s starting to feel the quick repercussions of his actions as his stomach growls and he starts feeling nauseous. He has to force himself to muster up the strength, fixing a small bowl of oatmeal to take away the pain and jump in the shower right after. 

The heat of the water is relaxing, the piping hot touch cracking every aching muscle in his body as he relaxes. The eucalyptus body wash infiltrates the steamy air, its strong scent lulling him to sleep that he nearly slips and calls it quits. Somewhere along the way, the clip holding his hair up has slipped out, his hair falling in front of his face haphazardly. The white towel wrapped around his waist threatens to fall as he takes careful steps, excess water dripping in his path. In the comfort of his bedroom once again, he pulls on a baggy t-shirt and pajama pants as he jumps back into bed. His laptop lays next to him as he’s momentarily coaxed to get back on it, but the exhaustion running rampant through him takes control and knocks him out before he could truly contemplate what was happening. 

The next day, when he’s wide awake, he works on the document again. He proofreads it, correcting all of his mistakes and making sure that everything makes sense. The document name, Never Be Enough. He had always wanted to write a fix-it fic for one of the most tragic episodes in the entire series, where your character— Beatrice— had finally reunited with your father after being departed for months because of the apocalypse. It was the main plot to the series for majority of the time as every time that you were close, some heavy obstacle would fall into place, distancing the both of you before either of you knew. It aggravated him, the writing of the show that he remembered wanting to drop it at some point. However, he braved it through. 

When the episode finally came where Beatrice was finally reunited with her dad, he was ripped away from her. Literally torn apart from her in a stampede of zombies that managed to make it through the barricade surrounding the small colony of survivors. Your band of friends that helped you get there had to get you away as you watched in pain, the last part of your old life all gone. The episode was called Never Be Enough, and gosh, while he hated it, it fit so perfectly. Because no matter how much you have fought to get there, it all felt like it was never enough. Choso had to question if it was his emotions that made him believe that the show writers were just crappy at their job and if in actuality, they were geniuses. 

After the season was left on that cliffhanger, it made Choso go into a silent rage inside of his mind as he could only think about how it ended and the possibility of your character arc being ruined before it even got the chance to get better. He had written some possibilities of a better ending, but never decided on it until yesterday. Twenty thousand words he had to look over, and if he’s being honest with himself, it still doesn’t feel like enough. But while there wasn’t a word limit of written entries for the contest, he didn’t want to test said limits and kept most of the piece where it was at. When he was finished, he formatted the first page how it was asked of him.

Alternative Ending to Us Against the World, Season Two: Episode 11

Never Be Enough by Kamo Choso.

Top Three Picks for 1 Week Celebrity Meet: Your Name, Geto Suguru, and Nobara Kugisaki.

He wrote a small page on why he thought the episode needed to be written before he transitioned onto the work itself, making sure that it flowed together before overlooking the entire document again. When he was finally satisfied, he downloaded the document— Never_Be_Enough_KCH.docx— and logged into his account for The Aspiring. He hated this feeling, this piercing pressure of anxiety in his chest. It happened whenever he posted a new fic and now it was happening with this, too, but this? This was much worse.

He felt like he could barely breathe, slowly dragging the file with his cursor and watching it load. When he read 100%, he hovered over the ‘Submit’ button and squirmed in his gaming chair, the seat swiveling as he turned from side to side. Closing his eyes, he just had to do it. The sound of the right click echoing through the room before he opened his eyes again and watched the screen load. Then, virtual confetti blowing across the screen as ‘Successful!’ reads across the laptop. He lets out the breath he was holding, his reddened face losing its color as he shuts the screen and jumps onto his bed. 

Pulling his phone from his pocket, he clicks open the Tumblr app, opening up a new post page and types out: ‘I think I just made the worst mistake yet. I’ll tell you guys later if I’m a fool or not.’

—

You never realized how reviewing competition submission could be so tiring. Days and days of watching, viewing and reading what people had to say. While it had been fun at the beginning, it quickly became tedious and exhausting after day three. From your checklist, you marked off those you found no interest in and checked off people who had lots of potential.

Each submission was sorted by the contestants’ top choices, where you seemed to have the majority of it for Us Against the World. Thankfully, any submission that had shown red flags were immediately removed before your viewing, but it was still a heavy amount that you had to go through. Your body ached and your vision started to blur as you read over another paragraph before groaning. You shut your phone screen off and drop the device right next to you on the couch and get up. 

When you stood up, you stretched and sauntered straight to the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out a tupperware of leftovers. When you look at the time, it’s only twelve in the afternoon. A yawn draws from your lips, eyes squinting shut as the hum of the microwave sounds in the small luxury apartment. You stretch once more, arms rising above your head as your shirt joins you for the ride, your belly button peeking from underneath. Three chimes before you’re opening the microwave door and pulling out the orange chicken and lo mein, stabbing a fork in it and blowing on the spoonful of food. 

You turn on the television the moment you return back to the couch, taking a moment to unwind and watch something that isn’t so of substance. Somewhere in between, you fall asleep, food halfway finished and nearly falling from your grasp. Your head leans crooked as you sleep sitting up, your head resting simultaneously on the wall and the leather as you’re tilting over. Ever so slowly do you move until you hit that slippery slope, falling down so fast that you jump awake in fright and your fork finally falls from the tupperware, clinking against the marble floor. 

“Shit,” you curse, never meaning to fall asleep. Glancing at the clock, more time has passed more than you expected, making you curse one more time as you go in search of your phone. It loads back to the last submission, which you quickly click out of and find something else. It takes time getting back in the groove of things, but when you do, you find yourself with certainly more energy than you did before, managing to skim through most of them. 

You spend the remainder of your day cooped up back on the couch before you’re clicking on what you note will be the last submission for the night. The document name, Never_Be_Enough_KCH.docx, when you click on it, it takes some time to load. The three dots spinning around in a circle before the front page loads. 

When you start scrolling, you gasp. “Damn…”

Over twenty thousand words to read. Wow, you think. They practically wrote a novel. You started debating on if you should really end your night with this. If you did, you won’t go to bed until midnight, and you have a busy schedule tomorrow. It wouldn’t be worth it. However, you manage to convince yourself to read the first paragraph at most, reading why they believed that episode should’ve been remade. In fact, they went on a miniature rant on why they believed the entire first couple of seasons should have been rewritten. It made you laugh as it heavily intrigued you, leading you to scroll further and read through it more.

One thousand words became two, and five thousand became ten. The words were written so seamlessly that when you stopped to glance at the time, you no longer cared, wanting to know what happened next. It was as if you weren’t an actress, but a fan of the series itself, immersed so deeply into the plot as you started tearing up at some points, laughing at the next. It felt amazing to be well invested in something. When it was finally over and you could no longer scroll, you felt a missing piece within your heart as you felt like it was too short and there should be more. 

Pushing yourself to sit up on the couch, you wiped away the tears on your face. “Fuck,” you couldn’t help but laugh at yourself. You didn’t think coming into this, you’d get so emotional, but this person? You scroll back to the beginning of the document, reading their name. This person, Kamo Choso, really outdid themself. On your list, you highlight his name. You don’t care if you didn’t finish the majority of entries, you go to message your manager, downloading the file as you send it to her. You even go the extra mile to messaging your coworkers, your text reading along the lines of: This one is definitely worth the read. I think I’ve already found my winner. 

—

In two months time, Choso receives an email from The Aspiring. He doesn’t open it immediately. Instead, he waits until the next day at midnight when he’s finally remembering it. With short breaths and his chest rising and falling, his thumb hovers over the notification as the subject line reads— Your Submission Results are in . . . 

And gosh, Choso really has to work on his pessimistic views because when he finally clicks on the email, he immediately thinks he’s lost the competition, dread coursing through his body as he’s preparing himself for disappointment. However, the words of We’re Sorry never show up and instead . . .

Congratulations, Choso! We were very impressed with your submission as you’ve managed to keep us on the edge of our seats for your entry. We’re ecstatic to say that you’ve won a chance to meet your number one pick, Your Name. They have a very special note to further congratulate you. 

“Congratulations, Choso! I wanted to personally say that I really enjoyed every ounce and every minute that I got to read your submission. It was really immersive and I have to say, you have a special way with words. Thank you so much for the time you spent writing it because I know it was a lot. Can’t wait to meet you in person!” — Your Name. 

Choso went to sleep as a more happy and optimistic man. 

DAY ONE

Airplanes have never been Choso’s thing. He doesn’t travel much, but when he does, he tries to avoid them if he can. He doesn’t have a fear of them, but he finds them so uncomfortable. The entire process of having to check in and then going through his packed bags to take out electronics and whatever TSA asks of him. It’s a tiring process that he’d just like to avoid altogether. However, for you and a paid flight, he’s willing to go through the hassle. He just has to make sure he has enough stuff to help him survive the trip over. It’ll be about a seven hour flight, after all. 

Scheduled to board the plane at twelve-fifteen, he should arrive around eight-fifteen. However, due to the different time zones, it’ll be somewhere around five when they land. It’s the one thing that Choso dreads when traveling as a whole, the change of time always messing with his mind and making him an absolute grumpy mess as he tries to get accustomed to it all. But, then again, he tells himself, it’s for you and it’s an all expenses covered trip. He shouldn’t complain at all.

When he boards the flight and it’s finally ready for take off, the first thing he pulls out is his iPad and the keyboard installment to go with it, pulling up offline documents he made sure to have saved up to his current progress. He spends the majority of the time on the plane hopping from one document to the next as it helped ease him during the turbulence and ongoing ruckus that would happen from time-to-time. 

Black headphones that drown out the rest of the world, when his iPad dies and his portable charger is already in use, he spends the next hour fast asleep with Lofi hip hop playing in his ears until he’s being nudged awake. One, two, three times he is nudged because he’s finally awake. A raspy ‘hm?’ that leaves his lips before his dark eyelashes flutter open. His aisle is completely empty when he looks around, only a flight attendant standing in front of him. “Sir, the plane has landed and everyone’s left.”

“Huh?” he hums before he realizes what she’s said. “Oh!” 

Face heating up as he abruptly stands, nearly falling over, he rushes to the overhead storage to pull out his carry on luggage. He leads himself out of the plane, never making eye contact with the rest of the attendants as he shuffles with his carry on. Checking the time, it’s thirty minutes past five and the vehicle waiting for him will be here around six. He thanks the simplicity of domestic flights as he doesn’t have to go through the heavy hassle of further checks, making a beeline towards the exits as people crowd the outside, either waiting for their ride or taking their luggage out of the trunk.

Choso passes the time with music playing in his ears and his eyes glued to the phone, reblogging posts and reading through his TBR list on Tumblr. When the clock ticks closer to six, he’s shutting his phone off and keeps his eyes out for his designated ride, anticipation running through him whenever a vehicle comes close. It has his anxiety racing as his fingers twitch to the jagged birthmark etched across the bridge of nose, the dark line probably annoyed with his habit. 

When his ride did come, it was more than he expected. A black limousine parking in front of Terminal D, just as they had explicitly told him. People were selfish as the vehicle tried to turn into the front, honking their horns in hopes to get past. However, the stubborn chauffeur stayed in place as shortly, people made space for him. When he finally parked, the chauffeur hopped out of the front seat as he quickly averted his attention to Choso. The dark birthmark being the indicator of his identity as he approached him. “Kamo Choso, am I right?”

Choso nods, eyes widening as he realizes that the limousine was, in fact, for him. He shouldn’t have expected anything less, but he didn’t suspect it to be just like the media portrayed it. “Uhm, yeah,” he verbally responds. “That’s me.”

“Great,” the chauffeur smiles curtly. “I’m Haibara. I just need to see some ID and we’ll be on our way.”

Pulling out his passport, Haibara takes a picture of it, his fingers swiping and clicking away before guiding Choso over to the vehicle. As the man holds the door open for him, Haibara already having thrown his luggage in the trunk, Choso takes a step inside as he observes in awe. Next to his seat, a basket of goodies that waited for him as well as a few refreshments. When Haibara finally hops into the front seat, he looks through the rear view mirror. “_____ bought you a basket full of snacks for you to enjoy on the ride down. She expected that you’d be a bit peckish after the long flight. I hope they’re to your liking.”

“Oh,” Choso hums, grabbing the basket as Haibara starts the engine, pulling out of the space. “That was nice of her.”

The comment was more to himself, and thankfully, Haibara didn’t comment on it as he simply nodded in agreement as his eyes became glued to the road. The only time he did talk was to ask if Choso wanted to change the radio, and showed him how to do so if and when he felt like he needed to. Other than that, the ride to the hotel was silent. The traffic was heavy where it nearly took an hour to arrive. Choso had finished two bags of chips since the ride, about to pick up another one when Haibara spoke once more. 

“I forgot to mention this earlier, but there’ll be a welcome dinner later tonight,” he informs Choso. “Once we arrive, you can freshen up and in an hour’s time, you’ll meet me back at the entrance of the hotel.”

Just as he says that does he pulls up in front of the hotel, parking the limousine right in front of the double doors. Exiting the vehicle, Choso grabs the small basket of snacks along with him as Haibara helps him with his luggage, signaling for the bell boy to assist Choso. The building exterior itself is large, a beautiful sight to see, but the inside is a thousand times better. It’s unfortunate that Choso didn’t get much time to marvel in it as Haibara nudges him forward as the bell boy nearly leaves him behind. 

“You’ll have plenty of time to look around later,” Haibara chuckles as he helps Choso check in at the front. Right as he’s about to temporarily depart, he gives Choso a curt nod. “I’ll see you in a few.” 

Choso doesn’t know if he prepared himself well enough. What was he supposed to do when he finally met you? It never felt real to him until this very moment, where he finds himself in the small confines of his hotel room and he’s opening his suitcase. Did I even pack anything decent enough to meet them? What am I even supposed to wear? Is it fancy? “Fuck,” he curses, flinging the cover of the suitcase over it as he stands up. A shower… A shower is what he needs. 

When it’s the time that Haibara instructed Choso to meet him, Choso is two minutes late. He hopes the brunette wouldn’t chastise him for it, but then again, the man didn’t seem like the type. If anything, he’d probably sweep it under the rug as it was just two minutes. 

So said, so done. Instead of the limousine, Haibara’s now standing in front of a black Lexus, legs crossed as his hands are stuffed inside his pockets. He has that habitual smile on his face as his eyes crease as he says, “You’re right on time.”

It makes Choso want to snort as Haibara holds the door open for him and hops inside. The drive is much shorter than the trip from the airport down to the hotel, arriving in just under twenty minutes. Haibara bids him a nice farewell as he instructs Choso what to do when he gets inside. 

He can already feel it, the sweaty palms and the damp under arms of his short-sleeved button up. He’s starting to shiver already as well. Each breath he takes is getting shorter and shorter and he’s trying to stop himself from experiencing a panic attack when the doors automatically open for him and there’s a sweet woman standing right at the front.

“Welcome to Mahogany,” she smiles kindly. “Do you have a reservation?”

“Uh, yeah,” Choso breathes. “I—I’m here for the welcoming dinner. My name’s Kamo Choso.”

She nods her head, receiving a clipboard as she reads through it. When she spots his name, her eyes light up as she leads him around back. That’s where he spots her, where it took him no time at all. Everyone’s seated together at a table that has to fit around twenty at least. It’s overwhelming.

It’s not just you, but it’s Geto Suguru, Kugisaki Nobara, Itadori Yuuji, Gojo Satoru… It’s some of the cast that he’s only ever been able to meet in person. It has him stopping in his tracks just a few steps away from everyone, where the hostess walks ahead of him, unaware that he’s stopped. He wants to turn around and tell Haibara to come back, but he’s probably driven off and he never did get his number. Would he have even given it to me? He asks himself. 

“Here’s your—” the waitress stops her in tracks when it comes to her realization that Choso hadn’t followed along, head spinning around to see that he’s a few tables down. It calls for more attention, much to his dismay as the chatter dies down and almost everyone’s peering their head to see their new guest.

Choso wants to die, face heating up as his hand raises to scratch at his birthmark. It’s the same person that’s caused this reaction to speak up. Your eyes elated as you push back your chair, coming to stand. “Choso!”

Your eyes meet your smile. They sparkle as you extend your arms out to him. Dressed in an orange dress, it compliments you well as the top hugs your upper frame before flowing at the skirt. It's simple, but perfect for the occasion as you have an ivory-toned shall to go with it. “I've been so excited to finally meet you in person. You have no idea how much I loved your entry. I read every single word of it and I even went back and read it two more times when I had the chance.”

You speak to him so easily. How do you do it? “You— You actually read it?”

“Yeah,” you chirp, guiding him to his seat next to you. “We all got a chance to read through the majority, if not all, the entries, and chose our favorites. Oh! By the way, let me greet you to everyone here—” 

Slowly does his anxiety dissipate with every passing second as he takes a seat next to you. You take time to introduce the winning contestants who’re also here and your co-stars. His heart still races, however, beating rapidly across his chest that it feels like it’ll implode. You’re more beautiful than you appear on screen. Your hair combed into one as your voluminous strands dance upwards like a crown. Curls that glide alongside your forehead with tendrils right at your temples. Your makeup matches the warmth of your orange dress, a slightly orange-tinted blush that works well for your warm undertones. You’re a beauty made to be marveled over, someone who deserves to be painted, your picture hanging in one of the finest of museums. 

Eyes glued to you the majority of dinner, he can feel it deep within himself. He’s in love. 

DAY TWO

A blessing that comes with acting is the impact that you have over people’s lives. Seeing how being an inspiration has truly framed a person’s life as they build a positive outlook on their dreams, thus chasing after them. The stories they share, or how they’ve found comfort in your shows. It all warms your heart when their genuinity outshines and sparks joy within you. 

You don’t want to hold yourself on a high pedestal, but you can read it all over Choso. The adoration he has for you, it was evident in his entry and it was evident at the welcome dinner last night. Standing starstruck as he gawked over the celebrities that sat around the table, but eyes ultimately meeting yours as they glossed and shined over in a thin veil of tears. You remember first being that way when you hit the limelight. It felt incredible meeting your admirations, but it could also be embarrassing.

It was cute how Choso was flustered and completely enamored once you broke that thick coat of awe, pulling him in for conversation as many of them complimented him for the work he put in before boasting about their winners themselves. In your eyes, the dinner was a tremendous success and you could only anticipate what today was going to be like as well as the rest of the week.

As your makeup is being done for the current episode filming, there’s three light knocks on the door. You shout, “It’s open!” 

One of the personal assistants opens the door, pushing his head inside as they make eye contact with you. “Ma’am, Choso has arrived. Do you want me to send him in?”

You don’t hesitate to respond with a ‘yes.’ Nodding your head, you smile. “Send him in.”

It isn’t long before the door’s shut that it’s opened once again as the same personal assistant leads Choso inside the trailer. Instead of the black button and black denim jeans he had on yesterday, Choso has on a white t-shirt and a pair of black sweats as he stands inside the trailer, hands shoved in his pants as he stands awkwardly. Your makeup artist gives him a polite smile as she does the last touch-ups before giving you the go ahead. 

“She’s all yours now,” she chuckles, before gathering up the belongings and giving the two of you alone time. Choso still can’t believe how your eyes continue to match your smile, portraying genuine happiness as you beckon him to take a look around.

“It’s not really much,” you shrug. “Just what I need to survive when filming hours drain me and I don’t have the time and energy to head back to my apartment.” Choso’s eyes travel, taking in the small exterior. It feels so homely as a bed is fixed to the far left corner as a few furniture pieces stand, holding a clutter of your belongings. Somehow, you’ve managed to make the space feel so real and cozy. “But, this isn’t the exciting part—” You cut the tour of your trailer short, pushing open the door and climbing down the steps. “—C’mon, the set where we actually film is much better.” 

You walk a few paces before Choso catches up to you. When he finally exits, you could’ve sworn you saw a glimpse of something shimmering as his hands went stuffed back into his pocket, but you ignored it, figuring it was just the reflection of the light. Quickly, your mind ventured to the task at hand as you led the way down the set. 

“We have two options for you guys,” you say, constantly glancing back at Choso to make sure he’s caught up with your quick steps. “Because the new season hasn’t aired and we don’t want to spoil things for you, we’ve got your chauffeurs on standby. You’ve got Haibara and I know he’s willing to bring you anywhere you want, he’s being paid a bit extra for it.

“Or, if you don’t mind a bit of spoilers and want to see more of the action,” you turn around, walking backwards as you wiggle your eyebrows. “You get to watch us film. Which one is it?”

“Who wouldn’t want to see you guys film?” Choso scoffs, his answer evident. He didn’t come all the way here just for a simple break from his everyday life. No, he wanted to experience the life that you lived as an actress. 

You snort. “That’s what I thought, but the rest of the guests wanted to stay behind. They said they didn’t want to be spoiled at all, which I can respect, but—”

“I think it’s a waste of a day,” Choso shrugs. “To finally get the chance to see what happens right before your eyes, and to miss out on that opportunity because you don’t want to be spoiled. Knowing about one episode won’t kill me.”

His candor sparks interest in you as you nod your head, processing his words. “What do you do for work, Choso?”

“I work from home as an IT,” Choso says. 

“What?” you guffaw. “You wrote a twenty-thousand word entry and you’re only working in IT? That’s a waste of talent.”

“I’m hoping to find something better at some point,” he tilts his head. “I don’t plan on staying in the field for too long. Though, I am good with computers.”

“Sorry,” you apologize, not initially aware about how your statement sounded. “I didn’t mean for what I said to come off so hard, but you definitely have some talent and I don’t want you to leave it to rot. We need a lot of writers within this industry. We need to keep the ideas flowing.”

Choso didn’t come here to network his way into a better life. He always felt like writing was a hobby that he had come to develop over the years after indulging himself in fandom culture. He loved writing, but also feared it. Feared the ideas inside of his head and how people would perceive his ideas. How people just couldn’t see past the wrongs of a character, never being able to tell past fiction and reality anymore— it scared him. However, he did dream of them coming to life. This was his opportunity to do so, but he didn’t want it to seem like that’s why he submitted his fic. He wanted it to garner attention, but only to win. 

“No,” he shakes his head. “I understand what you meant. I guess… I never really thought of myself as becoming a writer. Like, yeah, the idea came to my mind, but I was always afraid.”

“I know this is easier said than done,” you stop, your tone getting serious as your voice drops low. “Especially coming from me who’s been working in the industry for the majority of my life, but fear is one of the biggest things to hold you back in life. It’s the one thing that the majority of people let control them. I let it control me for part of mine.”

One thing your father instilled in you was fear. The moment you stepped into the limelight, he wanted you to take certain precautions. Fame could be detrimental to a person and having seen the many scandals through limitless magazines and news stations, he didn’t want you to fall victim to Hollywood. Limited interviews, chaperoned events— he did what a father was supposed to. He kept you safe, but his love knew no bounds and it started to hover. 

When footage of you smoking at sixteen was released, you were under lock and key as you could only go to set and straight back home with him. He kept you under his immediate scrutiny that had you rigid and stunted for it all. “Do you want to die?”

He would fill your mind with these drastic fears, always thinking of the worst. “Do you know what nicotine could do to you? It could ruin your lungs and give you cancer, then you’ll die!”

As an adolescent, you wanted to live vicariously and do what other kids your age did. You didn’t want to lose your childhood because of all these rules as a child actress. Why couldn’t you have both? So, you’d roll your eyes and when your father would least expect it, you’d sneak again, in hopes that this time you wouldn’t get caught.

Then, you turned eighteen and it seemed like all of your father’s fears were right. People were so quick to taint your image because of the boundaries you had set over your own body. It was as if you had no autonomy, no right in what you had to say over yourself as people labeled you all sorts of names— prudish bitch, whore, slut. Whatever name in the book that they could throw at you. 

Finally did you cage yourself in, locking yourself away from the outside world because it had gotten to you. Your father would always look at you in a certain way afterwards, his eyes twinkling as if to say, I told you so. 

Choso can’t help but wonder where that pretty little head of yours has gone, watching you silently as your mind drifts off as you let out a sigh. “My advice is to let that fear go and take what you want by the handle. You have real potential in you, and if you can find your way to make what you love your living, I say go for it. Especially when you have someone under your belt who you can take advantage of.”

You throw him a wink with your last sentence, the corner of your lips curving upwards before leading him to set. “Now, let’s go before I get yelled at for being late.”

You are an experience. That’s what Choso tells himself at the end of the day when he’s back inside of his hotel room, your golden bracelet in hand as he’s underneath the thick comforters as the air conditioner runs icy cold. It glimmers underneath the moonlight as he runs his thumb over it, heavy eyelids that taunt him, telling him to go to sleep. 

And while he soon succumbs to it, you’re an anxious mess rummaging through your belongings as you can’t find the sentimental piece anywhere. You’ve shot text messages out, asking anyone if they’ve seen it, but to no avail. Your mind wanders back to this morning— Choso. That quick glimmer before his hands were shoved in his pocket, but as quick as the thought came, you were twice as fast to dismiss it. 

That voice of your father comes back to mind, him calling you a naive little girl before accepting the role as Beatrice Martin. It comes back to haunt you, questioning why you’re so quick to dismiss a stranger. And you know that deep down, your father is right. You’re still that naive, optimistic little girl. 

DAY THREE

A habit you had developed over the years was fiddling with your bracelet. The thin gold chain dangling on your wrist as you twisted it around in efforts to keep you comfortable. Now that it’s gone, the habit you had worked to stop has returned, but this time in search of the same piece of jewelry. Scratching at your wrist while you still keep a smile on your face. You look out the window, your eyes transfixed with nothing as the moving vehicle blurs everything. Haibara glances back at you, worry etched in his mind, but he’s already asked you if you were fine once. He knows that he’ll push the limit if he asks again. 

So, when he’s in front of the hotel, he keeps on that bright smile as he parks the vehicle, “We’re here, ma’am.”

His smile falters when you don’t correct him for using the term ma’am, lips quivering as you climb out and walk past, only muttering out a weak, “thank you.”

Get yourself together, you chastise yourself. It’s just a bracelet. Just breathe. 

It’s like a switch goes off inside of you when Choso appears, cutting out your worries as your legs move towards him. You force yourself not to worry, your eyes twinging in faux happiness as your voice gets chirpy, a few octaves higher than normal when you greet him and pull him in for a hug. “I hope you’re ready for the day!”

“Uhhh, yeah,” Choso fiddles with the sleeves of his shirt. “I think I am. Still not sure about being filmed, but I think I’ll get used to it.”

“If you’re still having second thoughts, I can talk to the camera crew and work something out,” you say. “We can keep the footage to a minimum.”

“No, no, no!” Choso shakes his head. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You won’t,” you say, pulling out your phone from your purse. “I’ll message them right now and see if—”

Choso immediately reaches out for you, grabbing your wrist tightly to stop you. It was a subconscious movement on his behalf, not aware of what he was doing before it’s too late. It catches him by surprise as it does you. And he hates how you’re looking at him, eyes widened as you pull yourself out of his grasp, Haibara about to intervene. “I—I am— I’m so sorry. I just… It’s fine if they record. I’m sorry.”

“You’re fine,” you breathe, voice low as it cracks towards the end. “It’s fine.” It sounds like you’re more so trying to convince yourself that. “Let’s just get going before we’re late.”

The tension in the car eased the moment the two of you were led out, the period of silence being a heavy relief as you hopped out of your side and let out a deep breath. You have your hair out today, letting your curls free in the unrelenting wind that blows it out of the perfectly curated shape it was in. You have to hold your hair up in order for the stray strands to twirl its way into your eyes, careful on your feet in the heels you’re wearing today. The skirt of your floral maxi dress blows through the wind as your hand casts a shadow over your face. Oh, how Choso wishes he could have captured the moment on camera at just how pretty you are, feeling like he never says it enough. You make him feel inadequate how you manage to always shine bright. 

“Whew,” you huff. “It’s windy today.”

Your heels click when you’re faced with Choso. “The camera men are ready. You’re good to head on in, now?”

When Choso nods, you smile and hold out your hand for him. He stares at it for a few seconds before understanding what the simple gesture means. His heart beat skyrockets when he fixes his hand into yours, fingers intermingling with each other’s as you take the lead. He, however, holds open the door for you, trying to fix the erratic pace within his chest as he enters the establishment with you. You lean into him, your grip tightening. “Don’t worry about anything. Try not to focus on the cameras too much and just look at me. It’ll be a bit easier that way.”

Listening to your advice had put him at ease for the majority of the time as the two of you had started the day with brunch, simple conversations that ran smoothly. All throughout, you kept close proximity to him as the two of you ventured through California on two feet, bringing him around shops he found interest in and other places. 

Choso feels at such an ease that he forgets all about the camera crew that’s trailing around the two of them, following their every move. With your fingers intertwined with his, it set him at ease that he got lost in a train of thought. You had to nudge him back to reality for his eyes to flicker back on you as he let out a, “hm?”

“You didn’t hear a word I said,” you laugh. 

“I’m sorry,” his face heats up. You shake your head, fanning it off.

“Don’t worry about it,” you sigh. “I was just telling you that there’s this spot that’s really pretty. If you ever decide to move here and bring your partner, this is a good place to go to.”

“Okay,” Choso nods. The sun is starting to set as the two of you are brought to this spot deep within the park. It’s secluded around this time as the sky starts to darken. You bring him over to a bench, bending down to adjust the straps of your heels. Taking them off momentarily, you stretch out your feet as you exhale. “If I had any common sense, I would’ve worn sneakers.”

“At least you know for next time,” Choso shrugs.

“Yeah,” you say, pursing out your lips. There’s a comfortable silence shared between the two of you as the heat of day simmers down to a calming cool. It’s tranquil as you shut your eyes for a moment, taking it all in. Except, Choso, however. He’s staring off into space before he blurts out, “Y’know, I’ve never been in a relationship.”

It takes you out of your trance, your head tilting as you look at him in curiosity. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Sorry, that was random, but I was just thinking about it and I’m grateful that my first one is with someone I deeply admire, even if it’s not real.”

“Can I ask why?” you hum. “Why haven't you been out on a date before?”

Choso squirms, eyes diverting away from yours. “I can’t give you a specific answer, but I would say that deep down, it’s my fears controlling me— yet again.”

You nudge him. “We got to work on that. You’re a handsome guy. I’m pretty sure that someone would love to be with you.”

“Yeah, but what if we only end up hurting each other?”

“I’m afraid that’s part of life,” you sigh. “Sometimes people hurt other people, whether we mean to do it intentionally or not. It’s a good thing that you recognize that now, so when you actually find that someone, you make that conscious effort.”

“What if I never find that someone?” Choso asks. “What if I never find someone who makes me happy?”

“Then you find happiness within yourself.” Your eyes sparkle as the wind picks up, blowing your hair into your face. The cameras pan in on the both of you, noticing how Choso’s eyes are glued to you in such longing. Brown eyes that are hyper-fixated on you. His eyebrows crinkle together in amazement at how you always seem to say the right things. “How do you do that? How do you always know what to say?”

You shake your head, your bottom lip juts out. “I don’t always know, but… some of it’s just recycled advice.”

Your laugh is contagious, bringing him to laughter at your statement as you stand up. Shortly afterwards, the camera men start to pack up their stuff, bidding you their farewells as they leave ahead of the two of you. You’re both still sitting on the bench despite the nipping cold that bites at your skin. The conversation continues as you start to tell Choso the worst dates you’ve been on in efforts to not make him feel so down about his lack of experience. 

When it gets too dark, you call Haibara to meet you at the park. With thirty minutes left to spare as the two of you start walking down the trail again, you begin to grow more curious about the boy. “You’ve had your first kiss before, right?”

“Yeah,” Choso scoffs. “I’m not completely fearful of relationships.”

You throw your hands up in defense. “I was just wondering—” Nudging him, you give him a sly smile. “—But look at you. The playboy.”

“I’m not a player, just… they never turned into dates.”

“Because of you or them?”

He has to take a moment to ponder on it. “A bit of both.”

“Mmm,” you shake your head in disagreement. “I think it’s a bit more you.”

His squirming is your answer, your laughter filling the silent air as you both stand in the parking lot now. You find another bench to sit on, Choso joins you as another wave of silence crosses by. Your eyes are on him dangerously as they squint over at him. There’s barely any cars parked, only the park ranger vehicle across the street, so you’re not fearful of any possible paparazzi. Still, you try to look through the green tufts of bushes and trees, trying to check any spot they could be hiding before you lean closer to Choso. “Let me kiss you.”

Eyes widening, his body stiffens up completely at your suggestion. “What?”

“Let me show you what it’ll feel like when someone you care about truly kisses you,” you suggest. Your head tilts to the side as you start to sway. His pupils turn to hearts, brightening up at the proposition as he faintly nods. An ‘okay’ falling from his lips before he’s inching closer instinctively. You’re meeting him halfway, noses touching before the lips. Your breath against each other the only semblance of heat provided as you look into his eyes. They’re glossy as they flicker from yours to your lips. Before you could have any second thoughts, Choso takes the opportunity.

Crashing into you, his teeth clash with yours and you have to push him back to gain more control, physically telling him to ease down a bit. His body tenses as you inch closer to him, pulling him forth and getting him to relax. He gains more confidence, a hand coming to pull at your waist in a need. You instigate it further with the swipe of your tongue, deepening the kiss much further than anticipated. Both arms snaked around your waist, your chest is pressed against Choso’s as a hum vibrates off his chest. 

It should’ve signaled you to detach yourself, but no. What does, however, are the bright headlights of the dark vehicle pulling in and the steady hum of the engine as Haibara parks in front of the two of you. Pulling away, you stare into Choso’s dilated pupils, seeing how his chest rises and falls. Silently, you stand up. “We should go.”

You can feel Haibara’s curious eyes on you, the both of you, as he holds the door open for the two of you. The car ride is silent the moment you step in it. Choso’s mindsets ablaze, a course of fire lighting up the path in his brain as he taps his feet against the vehicle’s floor. You, however, remain indifferent as you look through the window, for once, not needing to feel for your gold bracelet. 

DAY FOUR

It’s very important to be able to differentiate fiction from reality. Choso feels that it’s true when it comes to fan fiction. The many times people have come into his inbox to complain about the content he rights for and the morality of the characters or how he made his reader to be. Hate messages made to bring him down and deter him from writing fan fiction, but he never gave in. They went on and on for days, even weeks, about the choices he made the reader take and it grew exhausting. Were they truly watching the same television show after all? The entire premise was about morally gray characters and the bullshit decisions they made, and suffering the consequences after it. Why did the reader need to be someone standing on moral high grounds during the apocalypse? 

‘Oh, I would never do that as a reader.’ ‘Oh, you mischaracterized me here in this fic. I’m not a bitch in real life.’ ‘Are we watching the same show because Yamaza would NEVER!!’

He had endured it all. But, personally, his favorites were the one telling him to commit suicide. He’d run to his mutuals quickly to make fun of those who hid behind anons, chatting together in their private discord servers about them and their hypocrisies. Then, he’d run back on Tumblr to delete them because he’s gotten so used to the nasty climate that he no longer addresses things that aren’t detrimental. Unfortunately for them, they’re not one of them. 

There’s a media literacy crisis, where people don’t understand the plot devices of antagonists and their purposes. And if they do, it’s because a conventionally attractive actor or actress plays them in the film. Truthfully, however, they don’t understand. They believe the moment something is conveyed in darkness and negativity is the creator saying that they endorse those actions, reading or watching something purely for the enjoyment without really and truly dissecting what they’ve just consumed. That’s why it’s so easy for Choso to dismiss people like that who try to question his moral standing. He knows what he stands for. He knows that he’s a good person. He doesn’t need a stranger online to dictate whether or not he is. 

However, he finds his mind slowly deteriorating, mixing up what’s real and what’s fake when it comes to you. You were wrong for kissing him. How could you fill his mind up with these false illusions, showing him how someone who cared about him would kiss him? Were you insinuating that you did— that, in actuality, you wanted more? You after all did let things escalate, having him pull you closer, deepening the kiss along with it. 

You had confused the poor boy, infiltrating his mind with ideas as he started to yearn for more. He started to desire you in a way that seemed to exceed what was already there for you, lighting a forest fire that you alone could not contain. 

Choso wasn’t just gifted with the written word. He was also exceptional with a computer. He liked to call himself tech savvy, a hacker sounded too juvenile in his opinion. His position paid him a decent amount and it led him to live comfortably, so he never complains. He can take off many days and not have to worry about his bills, but he preferred working on a steady schedule. It was easy to jump from one monitor to the next anyway, making writing fan fiction and assuring that websites ran smoothly was a simple thing he could multitask within hours of the day. 

However, he had to admit that he never utilized his skill to the full potential. Not until now, where he felt like it was a dire need to. Finding your location just as simple as a quick google search, quickly climbing out of bed to throw on some joggers and a hoodie. He didn’t think Haibara would agree with his choices, so he wasted thirty dollars on a trip, hopping out of the car and standing outside of the gated community. Checking his phone, he skimmed through the pictures and screenshots, typing in the code before the sidegate opened and he was led in. 

He kept his head down as much as he could, peeking up at the buildings to count down the numbers. It took some time where he nearly took the wrong turn, but it seemed to be a blessing in disguise when he finally did find your exact location. Ten o’ clock at night, the moon shines down on him as he tries to find a concealed spot to stand in. A light is on, letting him know that you’re awake as he follows the shine of it. 

He can’t get a clear view of you, blinds that block the way as well as your white sheer curtains. However, they’re not securely shut, where if stands off to the side, he can get a clear vision of you. With your phone in hand, you’re oblivious to the pair of lurking eyes that stand outdoors. Your gaze fixated on the small screen in front of you as you checked your calendar for tomorrow. Halfway into the week, tomorrow there are still some plans fixed for Choso and the other winners as it’ll be game day. Another day filled with cameras on you as they video the experience. The day after, it will be the day before the last, a farewell dinner hosted for the contestants’ goodbyes. The last day, their goodbye remarks as they have it to themselves for the most part. They can make last minute trips if needs be before their designated drivers are assigned to drop them off back at the airport. 

You set your phone down on the dresser next to you as you stand at the door of your bedroom. A yawn drags out of you as you stretch, pushing your chest forward as you raise your hand up wide. You know what would calm you down and get you ready for bed— a steaming, hot shower. You pull off your top from over your head, revealing your simple black bra from underneath as you aim for the laundry basket, the shirt landing inside perfectly. 

You weren’t ever much of a clean freak, especially when you were constantly on the go. You find your towel resting on your dresser near the window, reaching to get it when you see something in the corner of your eye. Was that a flash? You fix yourself to get lower, trying to see if your eyesight was playing games with you as you shift the curtain to the side, peaking through the blinds. 

Cursing to himself, Choso feels caught as he ducks down, pulling the hoodie over his head as he crawls on his knees. Getting out of your eye line, he squirms as he feels a tightness in his pants. Subconsciously, his hands go to hold his length, palming at it through the soft material before the coast is clear and you’re no longer suspicious. Unfortunately, when you’re leaving your room and heading to the shower, the glass is blurred and there’s no way he could get a clear shot from there. So, he calls it a night.

It’s fine anyway, because when he’s back in his hotel room, ridding himself of his joggers and hoodie, cock hard and prominent in his hand, he’s got the perfect shot of you to get himself off to. He squeezes, hissing as his hips arch from the bed. Tip leaking of precum as he decides to himself that you’d look prettier naked. 

DAY FIVE

There’s heavy tension in the air. Something so suffocating that the sharpest knife wouldn’t be able to slice through it. Though, you just believe that it’s your anxiety eating at you during this time of year. It is habitual of it to hit you now. Unlike the dresses you’ve been typically sporting on the events with Choso, today you’ve decided to keep it simple with a pair of jeans and a graphic t-shirt. Your hair combed in one and perfectly gelled back, the only thing seemingly out of place are the tendrils that hang in front of your ears. 

Part of you think it’s the growing exhaustion that’s been making you feel like shit lately. You figure with the way you’ve yawned for the third time in thirty minutes as your back slouches in your seat, the greasy pizza half eaten as your eyes are so close to shutting. It’s the deep chuckle of Sukuna that livens you back up, him sitting on your left as he leans forward. “Are you sure it’s right that you fall asleep next to me? You might wake up as a brand new person.”

Nudging him in his rib cage, he barely moves a muscle under all of that muscle. He smiles, revealing his sharp canines. You glare up at him, not faltering to his piercing crimson eyes. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Someone always says that before they all looked fucked up,” he booms in laughter before playfully pushing at your shoulder. You know he only means it in love and jest. “Wake up. You’re the last person I expected falling asleep at festivities. You’re stealing my job.”

“I know,” you groan, straightening your posture as you rub the sleep out of your eyes. “I think I need a break.”

“Don’t we fuckin’ all,” Geto agrees, chiming into the conversation. “But we’ve got a long way to go, so suck it up.”

And you try to for the most part, ordering a few drinks to get your blood pumping and the night to go on even faster. It’s a nice evening that you get to spend with your colleagues and their contestants, dragging along Choso to whichever game seems the most interesting before scoring a shitload of tickets. You impress him with how tactical and intricate you are, eyeballing the machines as your tongue sticks out as you try to drop the ball at the right moment. You’re a very competitive person, he’s come to learn, pushing him out the way when he misses a shot before showing him how it's done. You become so lively as the neon lights flash around the dark ceilings, bouncing off the walls and onto you. Those few drinks really worked. 

You throw yourself in Choso’s arms, winning yet again another game as tickets start rolling out. You had made a bet with Sukuna and his partner that you and Choso could gain more tickets than them and you’d be damned if you lost to that jackass. You loved Sukuna, but he’d constantly tease you for your loss. This time, you wanted to be the one to do it. 

“Yuh,” you grunt, voice rasping towards the end. “We’re so beating their asses!”

You try to pull away from Choso’s grasp, but he holds onto you tightly, seemingly refusing to let go. It nearly reminds you of the short incident with your phone and how he was so eager to snatch it from your grasp. It alarms you, eyes widening as you push at his chest. “Choso, let go.”

He falls from his trance, glossy eyes that die down its euphoria as he lets you go. Tensing up like he did last time and immediately becoming apologetic, “Shit, I—I’m sorry.”

You’re really hoping you didn’t lead him astray with that kiss. Taking a step back, you give him a side glance before turning on your heel. “Yeah, I’m gonna go get a drink. I’ll be right back.”

Heading to the food station, you spot Geto sitting down on a stool next to the counter. One arm over the filthy marble top, his back is turned towards you as he has a slushie in the next hand. You grab a seat next to him, the scraping of it alarming the man as he looks back. “Oh, hey! Are you having fun yet?”

“Yeah,” you hum with uncertainty. It’s his key detection that something’s wrong. Eyebrows furrowing, he’s shaking his head and you’re grateful you ran into him of all people. You’ve been needing to voice out your concerns. “No, you’re not. What’s up?”

He spins around his chair, his entire body facing you. Before he could let you speak, he’s already belting out your main concern. “Is it— what’s his name… Choso?”

“How’d you know?” The look that Geto gives you makes your stomach drop, grimacing as you slouch forward and silently groan. 

“If I’m being honest, (Your Name),” he starts. “His entry was the start of it. I get it some fans are really dedicated to their works and what they commit to, but if you read over his entry, it was highly fixated on you. 

You exhale. You had taken notice of that, but like everything else about Choso, you had decided to ignore it, paying so much attention to everything else and impressed with his dedication that you didn’t once find it alarming. 

“Not only that, but… Just an hour ago before we went back to the arcade, did you not notice how he was staring down Sukuna?” Geto continues to point out. “I don’t blame you if you didn’t. You were about to fall asleep, but he was giving him murder eyes.”

Geto wanted to say more, but he didn’t want you to feel like you were dumb for not noticing the signs from earlier. “But, what did you want to talk about?”

You were kind of hesitant, not wanting to feel like a complete fool for not mentioning it earlier, but better now than never, right? “You’re right. He is kind of… off?”

You console in Geto, mentioning how Choso tried snatching your phone away from you and just a couple of minutes ago, where he wouldn’t let you go. You noted your missing bracelet and how you couldn’t find it, telling Geto that you suspected it to be him, but still holding your doubts. “You are a messy person,” he noted. 

Your mind flashes to last night, but you thought you were pushing it too far now. There wasn’t any way that he could know your location. You didn’t want to mention the kiss because you can already see your faults in that. You didn’t need to be told that that was a stupid decision, you’re already starting to pay for your poor choices. “I don’t know, Sug… It was like, he was in this state and he wasn’t aware of what he was doing until after.”

“Or,” Geto butts in, pointing a finger out in suggestion. “He does know and he’s trying to play it off.”

You nod. That is a possibility, you think. “But, I’ll see—”

“Speaking of the devil,” Geto comes to a stand, eyes fixed behind him before another voice speaks and calls out your name, “(Your Name), is everything all right?”

You notice it now. Turning to Choso and watching how his eyes would flicker to Geto, a darkness possessing him. You stammered on your words, trying to find the best possible excuse you could make. “I, um— Sorry, I saw Geto and…”

“Sorry, man,” Geto smiles, intervening as he steps forward. His eyes crinkle like a sly fox as he looks Choso up and down. “I didn’t mean to hog (Your Name). We just started talking and lost track of time.”

Choso’s body relaxes in understanding, but there’s still that sliver of doubt inside him as Geto walks past. Choso turns to look back, and Geto’s still looking back at him as he walks away before his eyes flicker over to you. He thought Choso wouldn’t notice it, but he saw the subtle nod. Immediately raising his suspicions, Choso’s glued to you for the rest of the night. When your phone buzzes, you’re too scared to pull it out until you’re in the comfort of your home. A message from Geto: If push comes to shove, you know I have your back, (Your Name). Only two more days left. Hopefully nothing happens.

His words give you a sliver of relief, but you should’ve remained cautious, a pair of brown eyes lurking through your bedroom window. 

DAY SIX

You wake up feeling much better the next morning, the day running smoothly on set as the majority of your scenes run smoothly. You’ve paid no mind to Choso despite his constant eye on you, never seeming bored or tiresome of watching you all day and following you like a lost puppy. Sleeping has given you some clarity in what’s led you here, dissecting his actions when you woke up in the morning and coming to terms with your ignorance and your naivety. As much as legal action crossed your mind, you don’t have any substantial evidence to detain him, only his weird behavior to speak on verbatim. 

Nonetheless, it becomes easier throughout the day as your schedule is busy, never getting much alone time with him, minus small breaks and your lunch period. It isn’t until the day gets darker and the set is being cleared do you worry more, as the farewell dinner is in a couple of hours. In a tight-fitted silk dress, the royal blue looks perfect against your skin tone as you walk down the steps from your front door, the white shawl draped over you, providing you warmth as it grows chilly. The silver clutch in your hand sparkles as you reach inside of it to check the time. Haibara should be here any minute now. 

And just like clockwork do you see the bright headlights shine as he turns the corner. When he parks the car, you don’t give him a second to jump out, rushing to pull open the door handle and jump inside with a giggle. He grunts as he lets go of his, slapping the dashboard. “Ah, darn! I forgot to switch the locks before I parked.”

“You’re getting slow, Yu,” you smile. “I couldn’t wait any longer. You had me standing in the cold.”

“You could’ve always waited inside,” he remarks snidely, putting the car in reverse before pulling off. Haibara puts on a station that he knows you like, and you immediately start humming along to the music as he’s fixated on the road ahead of him. As your mind drifts off, you begin to wonder. “Yu?” his humming being your indicator to continue. “What’d you think about Choso? You enjoyed chauffeuring him around?”

Haibara hums, hesitant on his response as he looks through the rearview mirror. He’s seen a few of your exchanges with Choso, and they were all enough to set an unease within his stomach. Of the couple years that he’s been working with you, he’s come to learn that you’re really down-to-earth and sweet. With someone who’s grown up in the limelight, he first believed that he would get the exact opposite of that.

He’s had his fair share in the media, and you still withheld some things from it in regards to your father after returning back to the big screen. There were still some things that you were working through and that was fine. What he’s come to learn about you, though, is that you were still trying to hold onto some semblance of living an ordinary life. You took on this opportunity to help a fan, yes, to open up their horizons and have them utilize you as a connection to pursue any dream they had. However, you had crossed a line.

Watching you kiss Choso, it set a weird feeling in his stomach, but he also believed that you knew what you were doing— whatever that was. Keeping his eyes on the road, Haibara let out a heavy sigh. “He’s…”

“Be honest, Haibara,” you tilt your head, looking at him through the mirror. He exhales, staring back at the road. He clenches the steering wheel tightly as he shrugs, “I’ll just say that I’ll be glad when it’s only you I have to chauffeur in two days.”

At the dinner, you cling onto the shall, your feet tapping on the floor as everyone’s waiting for their entrees. Reaching for your glass, you twirl the straw with your tongue, sipping on your strawberry banana smoothie. You’ve barely spoken to Choso, feeling his eyes graze you the entire evening at your silence. It’s stifling.

“Are you ready to head back?” you try to ease the air around you.

Choso tilts his head. “I’m having mixed feelings. It’s a nice environment here, but I miss the comfort of my bed.”

You nod, continuing to sip your drink. Choso’s piercing brown eyes watching the way your lips pucker around the plastic. You retract almost immediately, clearing your throat. “How long is your flight back?”

“Around seven hours, I believe,” Choso contemplates. “So, it’ll be a long while.”

“Hopefully, you have some things to occupy your time,” you chuckle. “I know I need a few things to keep myself from getting antsy on long flights.”

“Don’t worry,” Choso smirks. “I got a few things that’ll surely keep me busy.”

With the tone of his voice, you’re not sure what he means by it. Maybe he’s just being playful or he knows something you don’t. You can’t quite determine if it’s your paranoia feeling this way, but you fall silent once more until the waitress comes back with a few extra hands as she sets down everyone’s plate. Reaching for your knife and fork, the back of Choso’s hand grazes the back of yours and you subconsciously stiffen up, but you choose to ignore it as you start to slice through your steak. 

Chatter starts up, livening the tables as your eyes brighten up as everyone enjoys their time. You’re in a heavy fit of laughter from a joke Nobara told everyone. Your face heats up as a fork in another spoonful of food in your mouth when you feel a hand against your thigh. You choke on your food, spitting it on your plate and calling for attention. Everyone’s eyes are on you now as Geto has his eyes on you first before they flicker to Choso. “Are you okay, (Your Name)?”

You nod, not wanting to draw too much attention as you nudge away Choso’s hand before they can travel any higher. Your heart starts racing as you try to control your breathing, your eyes watering. “Y–Yeah, I—” you clear out your throat again. “—I’m fine. Just, food nearly went down the wrong pipe.”

“Are you sure—”

“She said she’s fine,” Choso butts in, his hand returning to its spot on your thigh, aiming higher as his grip tightens. You clench your legs together, throwing him a look. 

“I don’t need you to speak for me,” you frown, your hand reaching for his wrist and dragging it away, the action more apparent to everyone now. Sukuna intervenes now.

“Hey,” he throws a threatening glare at Choso. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but I suggest it stops now if you want to get back home safely.”

The two men have a stare off, Choso clenching his jaw as he doesn’t want to back down. A vein stands prominent on his forehead, his face heating up as his stance comes to falter, breaking eye contact with Sukuna first. He knows who to pick his battles with, and Sukuna isn’t one of them. Shoulders falling, he pushes himself from out of the seat as the legs scrape loudly against the floor. 

“Sorry,” he mutters, but trudging out of the restaurant. 

Choso calls for Haibara earlier than expected, alarming the man when he pulls up in front of the restaurant to see Choso sitting down on a bench, clutching onto himself as his eyes wander before spotting him. He could only jump to conclusions and say something happened. He could feel the thickening tension in the air as Choso hurried inside, pulling at the door handle before Haibara could shut it himself. 

Curiosity piqued Haibara as he hopped into the driver’s seat and glanced through the rearview mirror. A soft hum leaving his lips as he tries to decipher whether or not it’s a smart choice to ask. “So, how was dinner?”

He watches him, constantly glancing through the rearview mirror and the road. Choso looks in his direction before averting eye contact. The man shrugs as his head hits the window. “Nothing special. Didn’t feel like being there anymore.”

Something told Haibara that was all he was going to get from him, but surely, you had much more to say. When Haibara arrived in front of the hotel, he didn’t even bother to hop out the front seat as Choso was already clutching onto the door handle, jumping out of the vehicle before it could even fully stop. Haibara didn’t feel guilty when he couldn’t say, Have a good night. 

Inwardly, Choso was fuming. He wanted to do something more. He wanted to say more, but Sukuna was a hulking man that would have his ass handed to him in a matter of seconds. The moment he entered his hotel room, he was pacing around it. Stepping over his suitcases and clothes that still lay across the room haphazardly, he clenches his fists, nails digging into the palm of his hands. How could you embarrass me like this? How could you let them embarrass me like that? Did all of this just mean nothing to you?

Whenever Choso didn’t know what to do with his overwhelming feelings, he tended to write. Like clockwork, his body moved for his carry on bag, unzipping it to reach for the device as he pushed away a pile on the bed. He squinted through the bright screen as he opened up a new document and cracked his knuckles. His chest felt tight as he started breathing heavily, and before he could think about exactly what he wanted to write about, his fingers padded away on the keyboard. 

DAY SEVEN

You hadn’t seen Choso after last night’s event, and you were grateful for it. There was supposed to be a send-off that you would attend, but after hearing about the mishap, you had been given the okay to miss out on it. You had decided to go to set early instead, practicing your lines despite having them all memorized as you were cooped up inside your trailer. 

In the small couch, your head pulls to the side as you lean against your hand. You let out a sigh as you’re coming to grow accustomed to the missing piece of jewelry. Instead, you start gnawing on the pendant around your neck as your legs are hiked up on the couch as you hold the stack of papers. Comfortable in your spot, the buzz of a phone alarms you out of your concentration as you reach to pick it up. An unknown number pops on the screen and your face drops when you read the short overview of the message:

It’s Choso. And before you think about blocking me, I have one more thing for you to read, then you can go ahead and never hear from me again.

You should really do it, go and block him. Your finger hovering over the three dots as you search for the five-letter word. However, another buzz vibrates through your hand as another notification from him pops up— a document labeled ChosoYN.docx. And against your better judgment, you tap out of the options and click on it. And against your better judgment, you read through all three pages. 

In another life, you would be mine and you would be happy with me. Oh, those days would be glorious ones as my pale skin would traverse up your golden. In the silky sheets of our king-sized bed, your body would lay pliant as your short nightgown would rise up above your hips. The sun would kiss your beautiful skin, but not as tender as I would. 

My tongue would drag over you, my spit painting over you with liquid diamonds and only accentuating your beauty. My love, you’re a marvelous living statue that the world doesn’t deserve, only I do. 

You’d call me your husband, my hands pulling at your hips to meet me closer. Goosebumps rising against your skin, you look so pretty when you first wake up that I have no choice but to have you. Ten digits that run down the expanse of you, teasing in all the right places as I am so close to your sweetness. Your cunt my forever prize that no one else can indulge in. You’re pretty in the laced pink panties I had bought for you, a gift to signify my undying love, to soon be ridden of as I pull it down your thighs. 

You’d drip for me, an endless ocean that I’d thankfully drown in as the center of said underwear is stained in your love. Your love for me. You look at me with those pretty eyes, silently begging for more before the soft plea falls from your lips itself. “Please…” you’d say with sultry, plump lips that’d be wetted and I have no other choice but to dip down and give you a sweet kiss. Tongues dancing together, the fervor we share is too much yet never enough. Your back arching off the bed, covered breasts pressing into my chest as your erect nipples poke through the thin fabric.

Your glossy eyes shut as you indulge yourself into me, your moans singing in a beautiful melody that the birds could never rival. And I could only burst in pride, being the only man that can make you feel this way. Arms wrapped around your body, holding onto your hips with a secure grip, only you could make a man ever so needy. In only the thin fabric of my loose boxers, my erection presses against you, alleviating only some of the friction you’re hoping to feel. My tip leaks with pre, staining the dark pair of underwear as I continue to press into you so shamelessly. 

I leave you with your lips swollen, nibbling on the bottom lip before completely retracting myself from you, your eyes dilated in a heavy lust-blown haven that I could swim in. I can only pepper more on your skin as you giggle, arms wrapping around my neck before I feel the painful press of your nails digging into my skin. And again, “Choso, please…”

I could never truly depart from you for every second of the way, my lips making an invisible path down from your lips to your neck, sucking on that sweet spot that has you mewling in milliseconds. So high-pitched they are as you grow ever so needy when I leave, your tender breasts getting more love as I adore on them. And truly, I adore them, pulling down the straps of your dress and them falling out one by one. Pretty dark nipples that point right at me, calling my name so gently that I salivate. My tongue lulls out as I lean forward, taking each of your breasts into my mouth. Your back is arching off the bed as you only feel euphoria. You pull me closer, nails digging deeper and daring to break skin. I’d love you to, I’d love to have your marks shown off as a sign of your possession over me. There’s no shame in immense love.

But, lower and lower I go, kissing at your tummy, licking into your navel before that delectable cunt shines like a treasure. It glistens like porcelain as the sun continues to watch us in all of our glory. It’s the finest piece of China that I sometimes regret ruining, but never regret loving. A teasing thumb presses down on your clit, eliciting a whine from your lips and a twitch from your legs in attempts to trap me there. 

“You just love to tease me, don’t you?” you say in a needy breath, eyes hooded as you peer down at me. “Gosh, Choso…”

“You’ll get what you want soon enough,” I respond. “Don’t I always?”

“Mphm,” you hum. “After your torture, yes.”

You always know how to make me laugh, a breathy chuckle leaving my lips before I press down on that fat pleasure point. Hips rising from the bed, I have to use one arm to hold you down, pressing my weight down to hold one of your legs from moving as the other kicks out. Rubbing tandem circles in you, I watch from below in how you writhe and moan for me, and only me. Your slick leaks from your honey hole, painting you forever in a gloss as I have you like this. 

Oh, how I delve in this— the sweet torture you love to complain about. How I love to slowly take care of you, giving every ounce of your body the love and care it truly needs to survive. I put you in a haze that leaves your eyes shutting and your head twisting and turning as your stomach churns for more, never truly satisfied. But you will be, you’ll always be when you’re with me. Dipping past your clit, my thumb runs through your folds, making your juices bubble as I make it dance around. 

Your hands reach down to tangle inside of my hair and then caressing my face to pull me out of paradise to bring me to heaven. A silent yet forceful coax as your fingers tangle in my dark hair in efforts to get more. My impatient angel you are. That I am, too, however. My cock stirring inside my underwear as I press myself into the bed, an exhale leaving me as I finally hear your pleas and dip forward. 

My lips pucker, a wet and chaste kiss against your clit as one finger dives inside of you. A stretch sweet, but not addicting like my cock’s as my digit enters you, warmed by your honeyed walls. You only make it worse. Me rutting into the bed, making me feel like I’m back in more youthful years. Your moans are more drawn out through the air, humming out in pleasure as your eyes shut in careless bliss as your fingers still are still knotted inside my hair. They pull me closer to you as I suckle on the tender nub that has you singing out my name in a lustful symphony. 

My digits thrust in a languid dance that conjures up these addicting sounds, gathering your slick in a gluttonous effort to take what’s rightfully mine from you. With the swipe of my tongue, I can taste it and the vibrations of my satisfaction run deep through your body as I press my fingers further inside. They bottom out, curling inside as your hips buck upwards. They twist and contort in the right directions, having you grind upwards in attempts for more. And I give and give, picking up the pace as I only want to take and take. 

I feel everything that’s you. Nose burrowing inside of your curled bush, inhaling your raw scent that only makes me crave you more ferociously. Fingers that are sopping wet as your juices drip down to my wrists and stain the warm yellow beneath us. Your wetness can be heard, the sound of your pussy loud inside of your shared bedroom alongside your whimpers and wanton moans. Head thrown back as those butterflies control your body, flying down to your stomach. Your legs twitch as your cunt pulsates around my digits, your voice squeaking as you gasp. “Choso! ‘M about’ta cum!”

“Go on, pretty girl,” my voice reverberated against you. “Give me what’s mine.”

Fingers leaving you to hold onto your legs, pulling you closer to my face, my tongue dips inside of your heat as it drags your orgasm out of you. You’re calling my name out as your fingers press into my scalp as I hum in between your legs, your thighs tensing up as your milky cum paints my tongue. Your essence is an elixir, rejuvenating me back to life as I clean you up, making your cunt sparkle the moment I drag myself away. A thin web of spit breaking once I sit up.

It’s apparent now. My heavy need for you as I’m on my knees against the bed. You blink away the haze, chest rising and falling as your beautiful pupils finally look up at me. An exhausted smile beaming from your face as they beckon me over. I fall to you, taking your lips in mine again. You can taste yourself, taste just how good you are as your love for me is written all over it. 

Together, we hum in a dire need for more as your hips leave the bed and meet my erection. Devious little fingers of yours that dip to cup at my hardened cock, palming at my covered length like a little minx and causing me to grind into your hand. You giggle when I pull away, knowing exactly what you’re doing, knowing that I’m putty in your hands. Oh, how you have full control over me. 

And I let you.

I let you take out my cock, revealing it to the cold touch of the air. Massively hard inside of your hand as you run the palm of it down the undersides, it still leaks the translucent mess of precum. You stop to hold it at the base, your thumb running down the thick vein that runs down it. “You love to withhold what you want from me. Doesn’t it in pain you?”

“It never pains me to please you first.” I hold no shame in my undying devotion for you, my twinkling brown pupils that swallow you up in the very moment before my lips are back on yours once more. Grinding into your hand, it’s nearly pathetic how quickly a moan falls from me. My eyes shutting as I bite down on your bottom lip, my high-pitched whimpers rivaling yours. Your knees point to the ceiling before caging me in, legs wrapping around the expanse of my waist as you grip my length. A delicious squeeze to it before my reddened tip touches your clit. You get on me so much for withholding what’s rightfully yours, but ultimately doing the same to me as you press my length in between your folds. Your hips rolling when I pull away from you, a string of saliva follows before the band breaks. You look down, in between your legs to watch how your pussy coats my cock, feeling how I twitch against you as you only have me yearning for more. 

“Is this your payback?” is my question before I spot that sparkle in your eyes. You shrug. “Something like that.”

Finally, the tip of my length kisses your entrance, your hips arching upwards as I meet you in the middle. We sing together in harmony, moaning as I sheath myself inside of you, my hips stilling for moments before they retract. I’ve set the tone, a beautiful melody as skin slaps against skin and our breathy sounds course the room. The drill of my cock is enough to make you a delirious mess, filling the morning air with your pleasure as your pussy continues to gush out for me in a copious splendor. 

My name is a mantra, summoning something deep within me that coaxes my orgasm, but our bodies, intertwined as one move in sync as I feel how your cunt pulsates around my length. Your legs twitch, flexing and contracting before you’re rasping out my name. “Choso, I’m—”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it once more. “C’mon, give me what’s mine.”

I am completely still inside of you when my release becomes overbearing, spurting my cum deep inside of your womb as your walls try to fight back. Your eyes squint shut as your mouth falls into a perfect ‘O.’ You milk me completely while simultaneously painting my length in your milk white honey. Like a bee, I’ve come to pollinate, hoping that you’ll bear my children as I come down from my high yet never leaving your sweetness. 

And when I do, I kiss one last time for the moment before pulling away. My eyes continue to shine with my everlasting adoration for you. “I love you.”

You feel ashamed with yourself when you clench your thighs, arousal pooling in your underwear as you close out. Finally, you block him (The document is well saved on your phone).

( author's note. ) thank you so much for taking the time to read this. it's my first time writing for choso, so please tell me how i did in the comments or reblogs !

[darlingdekarios]

hibernate.

rating: explicit. 18+ only. length: 6,152 content: Arthur Morgan x f!reader, animal hunting mentions, cannon-accurate outlaw behavior, cowboy meet cute, Arthur Morgan is a simp, snowed in, fluff, smut [v fingering, unprotected p in v, creampie, cockwarming], kink(s) [spit as lube]

it was like fate insisted on the two of you colliding.

The first time you’d met Arthur Morgan was a lovely March night in New Hanover, opportunities abound as the hustle and bustle of life was at its highest point of the year, the weather the most tolerable for moving about. Returning from an evening of fishing now that the water wasn’t frozen in some areas and sketching birds by the river when he stumbled across a lone figure boarding train – well after midnight. He followed on horseback under the cover of trees in anticipation, joined by your own horse shortly after. He followed alongside with a hold of the strange horse’s reins until the train came to a stop. 

He'd strained to hear you, considered boarding after you to clean up any straggling guards – it wasn’t his business, so he didn’t – but curiosity held him close. When the sound of police approaching quickly began you emerged to the top of the train, looking around desperately for your horse. Temporarily frozen when the moonlight caught your face and confirmed to the man that you were a woman, he recovered just in time to spring into action.

It had been Arthur who had led your horse to you and instructed you to follow. It was Arthur’s path that led you away from the law and eventually far enough away to be free of their hunting.

“Are you some kinda lunatic, lady?” he questioned when the two of you slowed side-by-side under the cover of thick trees, his face hard-set and stern. “You coulda gotten yourself tossed away for a long time back there.”

“I didn’t, though,” you laughed, and despite the feeling that burned in him that he couldn’t quite place as anger or worry Arthur’s stomach flipped at the sound and the way your laugh reached your eyes. You adjusted your hat with a playful smile on your lips, keeping the reins to your horse in one hand. 

“Thanks to me,” he asserted, the stress causing him to light up a cigarette and adjust his hat. His eyes caught your gaze and you held it, appreciating his handsome features for a moment as your smile twisted wider.

“I would’ve figured it out, cowboy – you can be sure of that.”

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ve seen your face on ‘wanted’ posters, Mr. Morgan,” you proclaimed, tone proud as you called him on his identity. He took another drag from his cigarette before leaning forward comfortably in his saddle, outstretching a hand toward you. 

“Arthur,” he offered, amusement flashing across his features when you shook his hand firmly. “And I’ve seen yours, too. What is it they call you…?”

“The Panther,” you replied, that proud tone ever-present in your voice. “A nice tribute to my best hunt.”

His poker face was too well-trained to reveal that he was impressed – that he was intrigued.

“Well next time you go thinkin’ of doing something so goddamn stupid like rob a train at midnight alone,” he began, gruff voice filled with frustration as he attempted to present his unamused façade. “You could invoke that particular nickname and be a little more subtle.”

The second time was just as circumstantial. It was July – the heat sweltering, the air sticky, the fireflies sparkling in fields at night. You’d been riding for days, hunting gators in the swamps for weeks and now headed back to a more familiar area where you felt more at home. Just past Emerald Ranch you’d spotted him on the road ahead – his hat unmistakable and burned into your mind, his horse giving away his identity to anyone who knew it. 

There was no questioning if he’d want your company – you didn’t even give it a thought. Instead, you’d hastened your own horse to catch up with him.

“Where ya headed, cowboy?” you questioned as you approached from behind, adjusting your hat back on your head to offer more of your face to him. Your voice immediately sent a shiver down his spine, the barely-there smile crossing his features unmissed by you.

Four months trying to remember your face and voice hadn’t done it any justice.

“Valentine,” he replied, slowing his horse’s stride to match yours. The two of you set a lazy pace, in no real hurry to get anywhere. “You following me now, cat?”

“Like I ain’t got better things to do, Mr. Morgan?” you joked, nose scrunching as you smiled. The Summer sun had done beautiful things for your color, he noted. “Give you $50 and shine your guns if you can beat me there.”

“Are you tryin’ to race me?” he questioned with a subtle laugh, raising an eyebrow in your direction.

“Won’t be much of a race, cowboy.”

He let out a real, genuine, albeit short laugh at that. The sound filled the air around you, made birds vacate trees. Your heart soared away alongside them.

“And what is it you want if you win?”

“A nice bottle of whisky,” you replied after a brief moment of thought, reaching your hand to rub your horse’s neck gently. Arthur had forgotten how gentle your hands were with everything they touched – the rediscovery lighting up his mind. “And a hot meal at your camp.”

“Can’t promise the gang’ll let you eat at camp without drinking, too.”

“Which is why I asked for a bottle of whisky,” you remarked, that shit-eating grin he was starting to love spreading on your face again. “Do we have a deal?”

“Hope your horse is fast enough to back up that mouth of yours,” he quipped back, intentionally antagonizing you as he started to pick up the speed slightly. “Or that you’ve got plenty of gun oil.”

You shot forward then, the dust of the road kicking up behind you as you left Arthur behind on a road you both knew well. In reality he could’ve caught you – could’ve even won if he’d pushed his horse hard enough – but the sound of your laughter in the cool evening air was reason enough to lose. 

It wasn’t a surprise when you crossed over into the town first.

“You cheated,” he argued as he approached, allowing his horse to slow to a reasonable speed for being around other people. “Got a head start. Doesn’t count.”

“You’re just a sore loser.”

“Maybe I am,” he replied, reaching up to remove his hat to resituate his wind-blown hair. You were momentarily transfixed on his fingers running through the strands that looked soft – maybe in need of a wash but soft nonetheless – but quickly wished he’d left it messy. “Weren’t mean you didn’t get a head start, cat.”

“Oh, like a couple steps mattered,” you entered an easy banter with him, just like the two of you had done in the Spring. He’d missed it – hadn’t realized how much he had until then. “Coulda given you a five-minute head start and still would’ve beat you and that slowpoke horse you ride.”

“Anybody ever tell you you’re difficult?” 

“Heard it a couple times,” there was that smile again – the nose crinkling one. He wasn’t sure how long he could keep his thoughts to himself with you smiling that way – at him. You jumped down from your stallion and hitched him with ease, feeding the massive animal a small snack in appreciation of his efforts. “I can compromise. I buy the whisky, but I still get a hot meal at your camp.”

He pondered your proposal only briefly before nodding, letting out an affirmative huff in agreeance. “I’ll meet you at the butcher when you’re done.”

You gave your horse a gentle pat and nodded, turning back to meet his gaze. “Sell that fox pelt I have up on Scratch, will ya?”

Easy. Simple. Honest. Sensible. Arthur loved having you around camp that night – and the night after when you’d been convinced to stay again by the women – though it was hardly just them that enjoyed your company. You’d made easy companions in the camp with your sharp tongue and ability to hold your alcohol. You had plenty of stories to share with Arthur’s chosen family – each one of them genuinely interesting to the gang.

Everyone knew the fact Arthur had brought you around meant you were a good person. The beauty was a bonus, he’d been informed in privacy. He’d only told Sean to shut his mouth in response. Arthur slept by the fire that night so you could sleep in his cot, and if anyone else in the gang saw the way he’d sat up for at least an hour with his eyes transfixed on your sleeping figure in his bed. 

It was Fall, October to be exact, the next time he heard from you – this time you had taken fate into your own hands to seek out his company. He was certain he’d never be able to dispose the letter you’d penned and sent to his camp.

Dear Arthur, Kinda strange to call you “dear”, huh?  Anyway, I have a job comin’ up in Saint Denis that involves me boarding a train quite late at night and remembering our conversation earlier this year I thought I may ask you to join.  Job is planned for the night of October 18, the Saturday after next. I’ll meet you the Friday before at the saloon in Van Horn if you plan on joining me.  I do hope you join me.  Hope that gang of yours isn’t being too rough on you. 

He arrived in Van Horn a day early and rented himself a room – and a bath – so he was prepared for the meeting. He was in the saloon before you, his chest clenching as you walked in through the swinging doors. 

You’d taken a page from his book and clearly bathed recently as well, and you were dressed for the first time in front of him in feminine attire. The sight of you in a skirt shouldn’t have affected him the way it did – it was embarrassing for a man his age. It didn’t prevent the pressure building at his waist, nor did it stop him from speaking his mind.

“You had to wear that damn skirt, didn’t ya?” he questioned when you joined him, a smile spreading across your face. It was hardly a gentlemanly way to greet you, but then again, he was hardly a gentleman. “Knew what you were doin’ puttin’ that on with me coming in today…”

“You complained so much about the pants last time I figured I’d save myself the headache,” you replied, sliding into a chair next to him and crossing your legs for emphasis. “You don’t like it?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, kitten,” he’d practically purred – a new tone between the two of you. There was no denying that you wanted to hear it more, and you nearly chose to forget the real reason you were now sitting beside him. 

“I need to look the part tomorrow for the job,” you replied quickly, eager to squash the tension now building between the two of you, unwilling to allow the job to go forgotten. There was too much money at stake. “Have to board a real nice train when it leaves out of Saint Denis tomorrow night. There’s a safe onboard I’d like to get my hands into.”

“Can’t just rob it the old-fashioned way?”

“Someone didn’t like the last time I did that,” you teased, feeling pleased with the smile it earned. “Figured I’d board and crack the safe.”

“Why you need me then?”

“Need someone to play my husband and keep watch while I’m workin’ on the safe.”

“Your husband,” he huffed out with another laugh, a brief shake to his head. The term had always been silly to him, just as silly as the idea of marriage was to you as a whole, really – and yet, there was no denying the clench in both of your chests at the mere thought. The imaginary suggestion manifested in brief images of domesticity, the vision of you sleeping in his cot in July flashing in his mind. 

You didn’t miss the slight redness to his cheeks, he didn’t miss how your smile fluttered into something laced with affection. For all your joking demeanor, it was still clear that there was some secretive sincerity beneath the surface – that you cared for Arthur. And on Arthur’s part, well…he wouldn’t ride across the country to work for just anyone.

“Yes,” you replied when you’d pulled yourself from the depths of his eyes. “A woman travelling with her husband is far less likely to draw attention than if I were alone.”

You thought there would be some protest, though if you’d seen even a fraction of the thoughts Arthur had conjured up in the preceding months you’d never have to question it. To you what seemed to be him conceding was actually the outlaw taking a step he’d long considered taking with you the next chance he got. 

Arthur just wanted to spend time with you – there were probably very few things he’d say no to right now in regard to you. He wouldn’t go admitting that out loud anytime soon either. 

“Fine, I’ll go along with your little plan. Only so you don’t go gettin’ yourself arrested.”

“Great!” you exclaimed, the brightness that covered your face blinding but serving as confirmation that he was making the right choice. The money he was sure to get would be a bonus, too. “I got you a wedding ring. Looks like it’ll fit. You can sell it when the job’s done, as a thank you.”

“You get it off a dead body?”

“He didn’t need it anymore.”

There was that goddamn feeling in his chest again. 

This was the fourth time destiny had crossed your path with Arthur Morgan’s. 

Now, the ring still lay in the outside pouch of his satchel, the cool metal brushing against the tips of his calloused fingers often daily in a physical reminder of you. Today, feeling the pull of being apart from you for four months now and into the new year, he’d been clutching the metal in his gloved hands as he led his horse through the far North. Seeking the solitary bliss of being alone in the mountains for the winter, he had opted to simply ride and camp, sketching in his journal and enjoying the snow dusted scenery. Arthur’s plan was soon thwarted as a snowstorm began to roll in.

He'd been riding along the same worn path to make his way down the mountain when he noticed horse tracks leading into the thick forest – a horse, by the look of it, with no reemergence to be seen. Opting to do the honorable thing, Arthur pursued the trail, weaving through trees atop his own horse until he came to a small clearing where you were setting predator bait.

He didn’t know the kind of words to describe the way he felt seeing you right in front of him.

“Are you some kinda lunatic, cat?” 

If he had a way with words, he’d tell you that your smile was brighter than the sun itself – fleeting shooting stars, the North Star when he’s lost. 

“That’s not the first time you’ve asked me that question, Mister Morgan,” you replied, standing up and patting your horse as your gaze remained transfixed on him now. Even at this distance you could see the blue in his coat had electrified his eyes, the tone a perfect match for the world around you. You found it hard to form any further rebuttal. 

“Won’t be the last either, given you’re doing something fucking crazy every time I see you,” he teased, finally giving into the natural ease he felt with you. The light air between the two of you had finally lulled him into a sense of comfort around you – he was willing to admit he was concerned, in his own way. “There’s a storm rollin’ in. You trying to freeze to death?”

“Trying to hunt a white wolf,” you replied, glancing back at the bait you’d just set and adjusting the bow you held in your hands, an arrow already grasped between two fingers. 

Fuckin’ hell, Arthur thought. ‘Course that’s what you’re out here doing.

“You ain’t gonna be hunting much of anything when you turn into an icicle,” he replied, hopeful that you would understand his taunting was coming from a place of concern – not control. “You got Scratch nearby?”

“I suppose you’re right,” you smiled, slipping the arrow back into the quiver on your back and whistling to call your horse back to you. You mounted up on the animal easily, Arthur taking the moment to appreciate how languid your movements were – how graceful. His eyes lingered at your waist for a moment longer than was decent.

“If I remember right there’s a cabin just up the road. Been empty the last few times I rode by,” he explained, his words offering more than just a place to shield from the freeze. 

Arthur wanted to spend time with you. You’d truly have to be a lunatic to think otherwise.

“Lead the way, cowboy.”

The snow picked up as the two of you rode side-by-side, both of your horses slowing as the powder piled up, creating heavier footsteps. While Arthur spoke to his horse beside you to soothe her through the storm, you could feel his eyes consistently on you despite the painful whip of flakes against his unshielded cheeks.

What could have been a short ride in the summer extended in the weather, and by the time the cabin approached view you had begun to shiver – something Arthur took note of. When he climbed from his horse he unrolled the blanket on the back of his saddle, passing it up to you before grabbing his shotgun. 

“I’ll check inside, you try not to shiver s’much you fall off your horse.”

He disappeared into the cabin, your mind focusing on the sounds of him moving about rather the piling snow that was sure to trap you for days. Keeping yourself wrapped in his blanket provided the additional comfort of his lingering scent, and you found yourself clutching the fabric tighter and tighter as the moments passed.

“This’ll be fine ‘til the storm’s passed,” he announced as he exited through the doors, voice raised so you could hear him over the wind. “You go on in while I get some firewood and hitch the horses.”

“I can help, you know,” you offered, eyebrows pulling together to communicate your frustration. 

“Would you stop your arguing for once and go inside out of this shit?”

By the time Arthur made his way in from the storm you’d used what wood remained in the cabin to start a fire, the flames warming the air around it quickly. The mattress was considerably dirty and out of the question, so you were validated in the decision to carry in your bedrolls and blankets, having set them up comfortably in front of the fire. 

His heavy boots sounded on the floor as he approached where you sat on the floor from behind, and while you couldn’t see him, you could feel his eyes on you. 

“Already got a fire going?”

“Uh huh,” you replied, noting the subtle shake to his voice. Arthur was strong, but he was human, and he was cold. The fact that he not only was willing to but insisted on suffering for you caused a knot to form in your stomach. “Got some whisky if you need help warming up.”

He simply grunted affirmatively in reply, setting the stack of wood carefully to the side and picking out the driest pieces to tend the fire with now. You tempted to hand the bottle out to him, the liquid going ignored as he began to peel off layer by layer, tossing the soaked clothing to the side lazily with little regard for how they ended up. Normally you’d have stood to hang the clothes, but you found yourself spellbound by the way Arthur’s muscles flexed with each movement under the simple wet damp button up shirt – the last remaining layer.

When he was somewhat comfortable, he turned to face you, eyes flashing with amusement as he took the bottle from your fingers. You were certain your mouth was hanging open and he’d caught you. At the moment, you could hardly bring yourself to care.

Hours passed as the two of you got warm and caught up over the last few weeks. You sat opposite one another, both wrapped in your own blankets and full of enough whisky to ignore the storm outside – to ignore everything but one another. Arthur hadn’t missed that most of your clothes lie neatly folded atop the countertop. The thought was repeating in his mind – the heavy question of what exactly remained under the blanket haunting him. 

He couldn’t be blamed for not being a good listener. 

“Arthur, are you even listenin’ to me?”

“Not a fuckin’ word,” he replied with one more small swig of whisky from the bottle, setting it well out of the way to the side. “Stop fuckin’ doin’ that if you want me to listen.”

“Doing what?”

You knew damn well what.

“Lookin’ at me like you want me to come crawl on top of you.”

Why on Earth would you ever stop doing that? 

“No.”

Your mouth was going to drive him to insanity one day. He wasn’t going to do a single thing about it.

“Did you just tell me ‘No’?” 

“Yeah, Arthur, I surely did,” you replied, quick and agile as you were on your feet. He was beginning to think you may only talk to hm this way, and that thought alone was enough to make him want to reach out to you. “Hoping you take the hint.”

The blanket he’d been using for himself was discarded to the side, your words finally snapping the thin thread of control that remained in him. He extended one arm outward toward the floor to support himself, outstretching his legs to be situated in a more comfortable position before his eyes found yours again. 

“Come on over here,” his invitation came thick as molasses and dripping just as sweet, his free hand patting his right thigh to give his words deeper meaning. “Bring the blanket.”

Arthur had finally figured out how to get you to stop arguing and basked in the glory of the moment as you crawled to him carefully, finding a comfortable seat in his lap as you straddled his thighs. He savored the view as you wrapped your arms around his neck, encompassing you both with the blanket, your face illuminated by the golden glow of the well-tended fire – beautiful, warm, inviting. 

He was more than happy to finally accept. 

“Are you gonna kiss me, Arthur?”

He knew you were trying to sound resolute as you always did – firm and demanding and impossible to deny. While those things lingered – he doubted they could ever truly be gone from you – what really laced your words was the quietest of whines. He sat up fully, bringing his torso closer to yours and grasping your hips in both hands, all the while your heart beating faster and faster in anticipation.

When you opened your mouth to let your protest be known again, he took his opportunity to claim your lips in a long-awaited kiss, the feeling of his lips caressing yours sucking the air from your chest immediately. He opted to slide his hands to your lower back to bring you in closer, pressing your chests together as he kissed you hungrily. Touch starved and overwhelmed by the feeling of you returning his kiss with soft lips he sought more of your skin, sliding his hands up the back of the loose blouse you remained in. 

“Clothes are still wet,” he grumbled against your lips, displeased by the cool touch to your skin that remained. You scrambled to reinitiate the kiss, your lips catching his bottom lip as a whine slipped through your lips. A quiet chuckle rumbled through his chest as he nuzzled your cheek with his nose. 

“Take them off, then,” you breathed out, bowing your head to press a delicate kiss to his neck. His own breath caught, arms wrapping tighter around you – almost too tight, almost too crushing. You made no move to stop him as you began to test the best places to leave your kisses, spurring him to release his hold on you to start peeling the last layers from both of you. 

Your lips brushed against the shell of his ear when all that remained were intimate coverings, a shaky groan rolling through his chest. His hands engulfed you, sliding up your torso until he cupped your breasts, dipping his head to claim your lips again. 

That kiss was hungry – starved – clumsy in ways that screamed of desperation. His thumbs rubbed over your nipples lightly, a smile evident on his lips despite the fact he continued to kiss you as a moan slipped from your throat. It spiraled from there, both of your hands exploring, your fingers the best thing he’d felt against his skin in a long time. As the pressure built heavier at your waist his hands trailed lower, one stopping to grasp your waist, the other slipping into the waistband of your underwear. 

He'd never heard music that sounded as good as the sound of the moan that left you as his thick fingers swiped through your wet folds, an appreciative hum shaking in his throat as you burrowed your face in his neck. 

“You’re already soaked for me, darlin’,” he rasped, his voice getting lower and lower with each word. He began to sink his index finger into you, grasping your hip tighter in his other hand. “Fuckin’ tight, too. Hell.”

“Arthur…”

“Aw, hush,” he cooed, turning his head to press a kiss to your temple as he curled his finger inside you, pulling a quiet whimper from you. “No point tryin’ to talk right now, darlin’ – just lemme take care of ya.”

He could take his sweet time, Arthur Morgan. He was a patient man, especially when it came to you, and never more-so than now as he began to work his finger in and out of your clenching heat. He added a second finger soon, pressing the heel of his hand to your clit to give you more pressure, which you gladly accepted by rocking your hips into it. 

As he pumped his fingers into you he began to trail kisses lower, the kisses growing heavier and wetter the further down he went. By the time he nipped at your hip with his teeth lightly you were breathless, eyes squeezed shut as you lost yourself to pleasure. He kissed across your waistline as he pulled your underwear down, smiling against your skin lightly when you kicked them free with frustrated fervor. 

Nothing up to this point compared to the feeling of Arthur sliding his tongue from his fingers to your clit, giving the sensitive bundle of nerves a soft suck. He repeated the motion as you struggled to even moan, your hands grasping at the blankets now on the floor beneath you as you tried to rock your hips into his face desperately.

“Easy, now,” Arthur reprimanded with quiet reverence behind his words, turning his head to press a kiss to your inner thigh softly. “I’m takin’ my time with you, don’t rush me.”

You finally opened your eyes, ready to give him an earful about being a tease, only to be frozen once again faced with the sight of Arthur, golden illuminated by the fire and somehow still wearing his hat tipped back on his head. You maintained eye contact with him as you reached forward with your hands, removing the hat with one hand and placing it on your own head as your fingers ran through his hair, giving a soft tug at the end. 

The growl vibrated through him and you as he connected his lips to your clit, pumping his fingers into you and connecting the tips, curling them skillfully to rub against the sensitive patch deep within you as he sucked your clit. All the while he maintained eye contact, even when he removed his mouth from you with one final flick of his tongue, just as he removed his fingers from you. 

“Arthur…” you whimpered in protest, tugging his hair again to try to bring him back to your needy core.

“Hush,” he instructed tenderly, slipping his hands under your ass and grasping firmly to lift your waist from the floor. He soaked in the view of your glistening folds at this angle and tested how it looked to watch one of his fingers slip into you before removing it, licking his lips again. “You are a pretty little thing, ain’t ya?”

Your reply was sucked from your chest and altered into a cry of pleasure as he spit on your folds, smearing the liquid around before connecting his thumb to your clit, rubbing a figure eight. Supporting your raised hips still with one hand he continued to rub your clit, now using his tongue to fuck into you rather than his fingers, tasting you how he’d wanted to for nearly a year now.

The pressure continued to build and boil, eventually reaching a point of eruption – all the usual signs there with your shaking thighs, shorter and desperate breaths, your nails scratching against his temple as you gripped whatever you could. Arthur figured it was a previously unknown bonus to him keeping his hair a little on the longer side. He groaned to encourage you, switching his movements to pump his fingers into you again, circling your clit with his tongue until you became incendiary, your first orgasm washing through you with white hot heat.

He continued to lap at your folds as you came, removing his tongue from you occasionally only to kiss your thighs and mutter tender praises as you came back down to your body. When you had some sense about yourself, he was crawling back up you, pressing kisses to your stomach and breasts before he reached your lips, offering you a taste of your own honey sweet pleasure on his tongue.

When the adoration filled amorous kiss ended so Arthur could breathe you began to trail kisses down his neck again, following a trail to his chest before his index finger caught under your chin, lifting you back up to him, cerulean eyes questioning.

“Your turn,” you offered, slipping one of your hands into the waistband of his underwear and wrapping your fingers around his throbbing cock slowly. Running your finger over the velvet head you smeared the pre-spend leaking already, biting at your swollen bottom lip when he moaned. 

“Not tonight, sweet thing,” he declined, his hesitation clear in his voice. You began to rub him gently – slowly – too damn slow – causing his eyes to roll back briefly. “You wrap these lips around me, and I won’t last long enough t’ fuck you.”

“Please.”

You didn’t truly know what you were begging for – for him to test himself and allow you to take his already throbbing cock into your mouth or for him to follow through on that promise to fuck you. Luckily, Arthur seemed to know exactly what your words were asking for – what you needed. 

He reached to remove your hand from his cock gently, freeing himself of his underwear before he gently moved you to your side, lying beside you with his back to the fire to shield you from getting too much heat, to ensure you didn’t get hurt. One arm wrapped around your waist while the other slid to cup your cheek in his hand, bringing you in closer to him as he kissed you again. 

As much fun as he’d been having teasing, he was done with the games now, and could no longer find the patience. He reached to lift your leg around his waist before grasping his cock, rubbing against your still-soaked entrance for a moment to gather some lubrication before he sank into you. Inch by inch disappeared into your velvet channel, the kiss practically halting as you gasped. He leaned his forehead against yours instead, grasping your waist gently as he continued to slip into you.

“Atta fuckin’ girl,” he breathed out. The large hand that still cupped your cheek slipped downward to rest against your neck instead, his fingertips digging into your skin in attempt to steady himself, to savor your pulse beneath his touch. “Takin’ me so good. You doin’ okay?”

You nodded as you stared into his eyes, pupils blown wide and mouth hanging open already at the feeling of him stretching you, almost too full but not something you’d be willing to give up anytime soon. When he’d fully seated himself within you, his cock buried to the hilt he released a shaky groan of his own, his eyes briefly closing as he savored the feeling of being wrapped up in you.

“Goddamn you’re tight,” he groaned out, pressing several light kisses to your lips before grinding his hips into yours slightly. “Shoulda crawled ‘tween your legs months ago.”

“Would…ah…woulda let you,” you managed to reply, pressing your lips to his in an unabashedly salacious kiss, already perfecting how to slot your lips against his in a way that left him craving more. He couldn’t hold back his movements any longer and began to pump into you repeatedly, setting a wanton and quick pace that somehow managed to remain tender and reverent.

He could only be tender for so long, desperation and months of waiting and yearning building in him. His movements began to get sloppy sooner than he’d have liked, though he felt better when your walls began to flutter and clench around him, your thigh shaking around his hip slightly. He picked up his pace to a much more relentless one, driving his cock into you and into your spongy cervix repeatedly as his grunts became more frequent, pressing kisses to your neck now.

“Want you to finish while I’m inside you,” he instructed, though there was something so subtly desperate behind his words – a quiet beg that only someone who knew him would recognize. “Think you can do that for me, darlin’?”

You nodded before leaning your head back again, quiet cries leaving your lips as he connected his thumb to your clit again, immediately choosing a relentless pace to rub in circles. You were almost certain you’d do anything he asked and soon enough you were pushed over the edge again, your walls clenching him so tight he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to remove himself. He did his best to continue pumping into you roughly now as he sought his own release, certain you wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow. Like you’d need to, anyway. 

“F-fill me up, Arthur,” you begged unexpectedly through your euphoria, and he didn’t need anything else to convince him. With only a few more bruising thrusts he stilled inside you as he emptied his seed in hot ropes into you, groaning loudly as he lazily leaned his forehead to yours again, his own eyes screwed shut.

He didn’t remove himself from you when you’d both ridden your orgasms, instead holding you close and reaching to cover the two of you in one of the blankets that was on the floor. He wrapped his arms around you tightly to hold you closer to him, slipping one of his legs between yours for additional comfort and warmth. Still semi-hard with plenty of stamina to offer you couldn’t ignore the feeling of him seated in you still, buried as deep as possible as he brushed his nose against yours. 

“Be a whole lot warmer this way,” he offered, giving a subtle move of his hips to emphasize the meaning behind his words. He pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of your nose before reaching upward to kiss your forehead, leaving his lips resting there. He was right – you did finally feel warm.

“Mm,” was all you could reply, laying your head against his shoulders and closing your eyes, burrowing your face into his neck. He smiled as you managed to press lazy kisses into his neck before wrapping your arms around him as well. 

“Think I’ll keep you here all winter,” he offered after several blissful moments, his head leaning to rest on the top of yours as his own eyes closed. He pressed one final kiss to your temple before succumbing to the comfort of you fully.

“Always knew you were a big teddy bear, Arthur,” you teased. How you managed to run your mouth still after he’d fucked you right was beyond him – but it was also probably a reason he’d want to keep fucking you.

“We’ll call it hibernation, then.”

masterlist. red dead redemption masterlist.

[pascalswift]

BURNING DESIRE

STEPDAD!JOEL x F!READER

SUMMARY : after all Joel did marry your mother, but she was oblivious to the motive behind it. Not silly love, it’s was you. It was always you, His sweet little stepdaughter.

WARNINGS : age gap (reader is early 20’s Joel’s late 30’s), dark!joel, perv!joel, step-cest, oral (f receiving), boob play, pet names, fingering, overstimulation, daddy kink, manhandling, mutual pinning, established relationship, (This is Short, sorry my loves )

JOEL MILLER WASN’T A EVIL PERSON, NO. HE WAS JUST CALCULATED. A very smart man, seemingly very stoic but once you break past the multi layered concrete you’d find someone that you’d never want to leave. Maybe that’s what enthralled your mother to jump into marriage so quickly, she truly believed he was deeply in love with her and she was he. She believed that she just happened to meet a professor at your college whom was single and yearning for the domestic things in life, but she was so utterly wrong.

To Joel miller, well he had found an in. One that allowed him full access to you, free to stare, free to do whatever he imagined without having to worry about a college or a student noticing the way he seemed to linger on you. After all, it was no accident that day when he and your mom “crashed” into each other.

So here he was now, arms crossed over his chest, Dress shirt screaming at the push from his large arms. The older man staring sternly at you as you sat on your bed promptly ignoring him. “I told your mother we’d meet her there.” Joel persisted and you huffed rubbing the heel of your palm over your eyes.

Your mother wasn’t your favorite person, she was money hungry, and self absorbed. She tried to claim she loved you, even more attempting to smother you after your father desperates this life a few years ago but time after time her true colors would peer through the blinds. So sitting at a dinner with her and her husband wasn’t something you’d like, especially if your step fathers brother/business partner was gonna be there. Your mother seemed to love his company…

Joel wasn’t dull he knew his wife likes his brother. But he also knew his brother wasn’t like that.

“Why can’t I just stay here? Tommy’s gonna be there and he’s good company.” You shrugged and Joel’s jaw clenched as he dropped his arms. “But I want ya’ there sweetheart.” Your heart raced as he walked closer to you, doe eyes looking up at him as his rough hand gripped your jaw angling your face upwards. “You just want attention huh?” Joel cooed before he bent down pressing his lips against your plush ones.

“I don’t know what you mean.” You mumbled as Joel pulled away, his brows raising as he crouched in front of you. He tossed the sheet off your legs angling your legs to the side of the bed, Your knees level with his neck. He tilted his head placing his hands on your knees as you were only in a pair of white cotton shorts with a tiny pink flower in the front center right under your belly button, and a plain pink tank top. He eyed the way your nipples imprinted the fabric of your thin tank top.

“Y’know what I mean baby.” Joel stated, his voice a bit lower. “If ya didn’t you wouldn’t be reactin’ like you are.” His hand slid up grazing your clothes nipple and you sucked in a breath. “If I give you somethin’ you promise you’ll get dressed after?” He was smirking, because he knew how to make you comply. You demeanor had changed from refusing to go to nodding with vigor whilst looking at your step-father.

His large rough hands slid up your thighs leaving goosebumps in its wake as his hands reached your shorts. He stood up hands grasping your waist as you tossed you further up the bed, a light giggle escaping your lips that made him smile as he climbed between your legs. Your heart rate was through the rough as he pulled your shorts and panties down in one go tossing them somewhere around the room.

He watched as your chest heaved and he yanked your tank top down letting your breast spring free and he groaned as he ground his hips into the bed to relieve some pressure. He leaned up taking a nipple into his mouth and your head lulled back with a whimper that turned into a light moan when his teeth grazed it. He pulled away pinching your other nipple before he lowered himself between your legs. Groaning at the mess of slick in your folds.

“Baby’s already wet f’me.” You nodded as he kissed your inner thighs, so close to wear you want him. “Word’s.” Joel muttered biting your inner thigh before soothing it with his tongue. “Just f’you daddy.” It escaped your lips and Joel nearly moaned at the way you said it, his hips moved on the mattress getting some relief as he finally flattened his tongue and licked a thick harsh stripe up to your clit.

You hands pulled at his hair as you moaned. Joel had quickly lost himself between your legs, it was supposed to be a little treat but it quickly just became a frenzy. His tongue dipping into your tight hole as You writhed. His arms were locked under your thigh pushing your stomach down not giving you much room to move. “s’good- mmgh”

Joel sucked your bundle of nerves harshly before, letting his tongue trace it before his hang slipped lower and his thumb pressed on your clit pulling up lightly, watching as you held onto your breast absentmindedly pinching and pulling at your nipples, before he returning to sucking and you felt tears brim your eyes as your abdomen felt hot. “D-daddy.” You whined as his other hang slid up between your boobs and both of your hands grabbed onto his larger one.

“I know baby, your bein’ so good f’daddy.” He mumbled as he used the pad of his tongue to lick down towards your weeping hole. His free hand that you were holding coming down as he poked at it with his index finger. Your hips jerked and you whimpered. “Gotta get you ready for later princess, ya’ want that hm?” You nodded eagerly but moaned loudly when you felt his thick finger enter inside you. Joel himself moaning at how warm and tight your walls were, barley just accepting his one finger he could only image what his cock would feel like inside of you.

He was so tempted to just fuck you after this but he didn’t wanna raise any flags. His finger pumped in and out of you and he already felt the way you clenched down on his one finger, your cries only spurring him on. Without warning he pushed his middle finger inside of your hole that was pouring arousal. The stretch was a sweet burn but quickly became just sweet as Joel’s mouth went back on your clit and his fingers pumped deeply inside of you.

He curled his fingers upward and you let out a particularly loud moan as the coil tightened in your stomach and heat slowly started to build up. “P-please- mgh. Daddy I’m g-“ Joel only sped up watching as your face contorted into pleasure. Mouth open with harsh breaths and brows furrowed. He curled his fingers up and sucked on your bundle of nerves watching as your orgasm hit you.

As he fucked you through your orgasm you were sure you blacked out for a minute. The pleasure washed over your body making your head push further into your pillow as you babbled incoherently. When you finally came down from jumping multiple feet in the air you felt Joel’s mouth still on your clit, his fingers still inside of you and your thighs attempted to close. Only to be cut short by his strength. “Daddy s’to much- m-“ you were unable to form a coherent sentence as Joel kept going, seemingly In a trance.

Tears started to fall down your cheeks as you yanked on his hair attempting to push him back but not outwardly telling him to stop, the pleasure being to enjoyable. “Gimmie one more baby.” His voice was raspy as he lifted his head only for a second before returning back to his place between your thighs pulling his fingers from your slick full hole. His fingers covered in your arousal as he smeared it over your clit, hearing your whimper of emptiness.

His hand slid up your neck and his finger tapped your bottom lip letting you taste yourself while he used his tongue to make you cum again.

Before you reached dinner you had already came three times, and you weren’t sure if you’d be able to handle later.

thanks for reading <333

if you wanna be tagged just lmk and message me with requests I’m happy to write mostly everything <33

[grimdarling69]

Another Deaged Dan and Ellie or otherwise known as Crack pt8

John Constantine was unsurprisingly quite used to being tied up. Ever since Batman called him in to inspect that interdimensional portal that reeked of the Infinate Realms, he's been inning around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to stop the end of the world. The portal was just about the worst constructed thing ever. It was running on ectoplasm and soda. From the notes and scribbles he found in the lab. Luthor was going to create a that would have been much safer but ran out of time. So they recreated 'the Fenton portal' he has no idea what that is.

Even Batman, much to his displeasure, has no clue. He's the fucking Batman, the greatest detective in the world and he has no goddamned clue what the fuck that means. Whatever the fuck or whoever the fuck Fenton is he will be torturing them somehow.

God, he needs a drink. He tries to reach his flask in his coat but can't. Because he's fucking tied up in a random ghosts lair.

"Beware! I am the Box Ghost!" Fucking kill him now. How the fuck did this loser capture him. He tricked fucking Satan so many times snd this rectangular obsessed ghost captures him? He's never living this down. He just hopes Zee won't find him before he gets out of here.

Purple smoke seeps in from the ghosts door to his lair. To late.

"Huh?" The stupid ghost questions the smoke and flies toward it.

"Beware!" He yelled and threw his hands up. Obviously, trying to appear scary but only achieving in making himself look like a total dork. God, what an idiot he was. Hurry up, Zee. He's not bloody drunk enough to play damsel in distress.

The smoke turned tangible and wrapped up the befuddled ghost and drags him to the floor. He tries to go intangible, but the purplish ribbons keep top strong a grip on him. He resorts to wiggling around on the floor like a worm. The door is roughly kicked open, and Zatanna struts in.

"Need a hand, john?" She sarcastically asked him. He sighed.

"Just put me out of my misery, please Zee."

"No can do." She uses her magician wand to cut the rope magically and dropped him to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Curse you my knight in shining fishnets.

"Hope you don't mind i brought some company." She said like she'd really care if he did.

"Oh great." He picked himself off the floor, massaging his irritated skin. His head was still spinning from being tied upside down for so long. He stumbled and was caught by a pair of strong arms. He looked up and saw four batears and two frowns.

"Aw batsy, you do love me.. fuck I don't feel good..." He then immediately threw up the measly crackers and some whiskey he had in his jacket for some reason when he was captured by those fuckers last week.

He reached into his coat pocket and grabbed his flask, and took a big swing of the empty flask.

"God fucking damnit!" He cursed and fumbled around for a cigarette finding absolutely nothing. Worst day ever. Or night or whatever the fuck time it is.

"Constantine. What the hell are you doing?" Batman gravelly voice interrogated him. What a tool. He finally takes a glance around his now less spinning surroundings. Zatanna really brought the cavalry in, didn't she?

Red Hood, Red Robin, Signal and Flash younger stood on one side of the room. Wonderwoman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, the older Flash, and Cyborg were on the other.

"What in the bloody hell is this?"

"Nightwing and Robin. Have you found anything?" Diana asked calmly like this was any other day. And they weren't in one of the most dangerous places in the multiverse.

"Yeah, they're trapped in the Far Frozen."

"How are you so sure?"

"Ghosts are stealing food and human items across the earth. Mostly from high magic and death rate areas. Where natural portals are more common." He took a cigarette from Red hoods outstretched hand, ignoring the glare from the others around them. Also ignoring the shove Red Robin gave to his brother and lit the tip with a quick spell. Inhaling and blowing out the smoke is an experienced dance.

"We already know that. We've all tried tracking them and nothing works." Zatanna stated crossing her arms and peering over the brim of her hat questioningly.

"I've got a source. Did some bounty hunting for the resident ghost of a dead warden, he wanted some ghosts locked back up in his prison." He pointed at the still wiggling ghost "This one here was the first one I locked up a week ago after I left those demons in the dust and he got a lucky revenge shot in."

"How do you the warden is trustworthy?" The older Flash questioned. He looked nervous like he was waiting for something.

Another shoe to drop was just what he needed.

"Because i got it verified by the Lord of all time. He told me to hurry that'll I'll need to be 'Beware of poisonous thorns '. I'm guessing he just means they're guarded by a nature ghost or something. Weird for the antartic, but they are ghosts, so nothing really has to make bloody sense around here." Taking another drag from his, smoke, and he takes a mental stock of the few things they'd need to make it there.

"We need to go now. How do we get there?" Batman grabbed his arm and started pulling him toward the door.

"Slow your roll, luv. Do you want to die? We've got a lot of things to do if you want even a chance to survive that bloody place. Forget even making it there."

"Like what?" The older Flash asked suddenly standing with Batman and wonder woman.

"Like getting some bloody jackets."

----------

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The alarm clock beeps loudly in his ear. He smacks it without thinking. So early.....getting up and walking to the bathroom swiping his phone on the way. Doing his business and brushing his teeth.

He scroll through his phone. Bruce wanted to talk, Jason was mad at him, Tim was pissed at a case, Babs missed seeing him. He walks out the bedroom after pulling on some random shorts. He yawns loudly and open the cabinets grabbing cereal.

He eats the cereal slowly while responding to messages. Looks like the internet isn't working very well nothings going through...weird with a waynephone but not impossible it wasn't as bat-grade as his other tech anyway. He'll fix it later. His sons bedroom door opens.

"Richard? Where are we?"

"Richard? Since when do you call your old man by his first name? Not very proper of you baby wing." He joked ruffling his hair. Damians face was rippled with confusion.

"Your not my...father...oh my ancients...fuck-" He looked around the room for another second then turned back around and ran into his room slamming the door closed.

"Damian..!" He tried the door, but he immediately heard the lock turn. He knocked on the wood, hoping Damian would respond.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" He tried to talk to him through the door. He stuck his ear to the door and could hear rustling noises and swears and something Diseree?

He grabbed his lockpicks from their usual places. He picked the lock methodically.

"Diseree! Fix this now! Or I'll put you down!"

"Ughhhh I'm only granting your wish!" A echoey voice unbound by a physical plane.

A genie(?) Flew up through the floor she wore blue robes and with a bored expression snapped her opaque fingers and everything went dark.

------------

Everything hurt. Before he could even wake up he was aware of immense pain. His chest hurt and his eyes were to heavy to even attempt at moving. They felt heavier than his fortress key. He vaguely recognized the bed he was laying on to be his recovery cot with the solar panels in the watchtower med bay. He tried to think of what led to this but he couldn't think of anything. It hurt to think god his head was pounding like he went through a skyscraper all the way from the top to the basement and further.

"Clark? Can you hear me?" Lois? What was she doing here? He tried to open his eyes but they must have been glued shut.

"Stay still, dad..." Jon? Jon...and him...were fighting but over what? Something to do with Robin, maybe. He can't remember, and it hurts to try to sift through his shattered memory.

"Go back to sleep dad. We'll be here when you wake up." Kon, he remembers telling him something but what was it? Be prepared? No he says that all the time it's something different...its gotta be something new...God if only the lights weren't so bright maybe he could open his eyes. Speak. Ask him. I know it's important, what did I tell you?

He tries to open his mouth, and all he hears is beeping and unfamiliar voices. He thinks he can hear Lois tell him to calm down? He is calm. in fact, he feels too calm, like the calm before the storm. Ugh, if only that obnoxious beeping and shouting would stop. This time, he welcomes the embrace of darkness. Anything to escape that horrid shrieking.

------------------

"And why should I help you?" The large green and pink alien looking woman leered at Constantine. This was a bad idea, a terrible one, actually. Why did you listen to Batman, Wally? He should have just zoomed around this dimension instead of almost killing them by begging for help from dead aliens! Why would Dora the Explorer or whatever her name is want to help us?

"Because I've brought you your cousin, Diana of Themyscira?" Constantine told the amused tall as fuck lady. She was huuuuge-not in a rude way of course. Gid he's an idiot atleast he's to scared to speak. He's the Flash, faced of million of scarier foes but something about her just makes every hair on his body stand in fear. She kinda reminds him of Wonder Woman.

Wait, did he just say cousin-wait? Is he trying to sacrifice her to this random alien?? By telling her she's its cousin?? Is he telling the truth she is kinda of wearing armor like Wonder Woman, but still...

"Greeting cousin, I've heard many stories of your great cleverness." WW said to her. He guesses he was telling the truth if she's going with it.

"And of my great naivety and stupidity? You have been poisoned by spending all your time with these mortals if you think false flattery will endear me to you. What will you give me if I help and don't say your soul. I know who you are, John Constantine, and your reputation precedes you even here." She spoke with an even tone, but he could feel the power in her words as she toyed with the small box in her lap. Running her fingers across its lid and body. Tracing the beautiful woodwork.

"A favor. If you know of my reputation, you must know of my skills." Constantine quickly controlled himself and attempted to convince her again.

"I suppose it would be nice to hold a favor from such a skilled magician..." She appeared deep in thought, and from his position to the side, he could see Constantine's eye twitching from being called a magician. This was pretty fucking funny actually. He just hopes Constantine controls himself.

"You wanted a way to the Far Frozen, why? Does it have anything to do with the rumored lockdown over there?" Shit she wasn't convinced this was less funny....

"There's a lockdown...? That wasn't-"

"Calm yourself, magician. I have been invited for diplomatic reason recently and j suppose I could invite a few of you but not all of course. Tell me why you need to go there and ill put us on the list?" She praticaly purred the last part she knew she won.

"We-"

"Are looking for my sons." Batman interupted WW and what the hell was he thinking? Giving information to people we have no clue about! He was Batman he'd kick people out of the Justice League for that and now he's doing this!

"Your littlest one is in great pain. Burdened and heavy, how will you relieve that?" She pondered aloud her voice seemed to echo against the marble.

"He is my son. I will do anything to help him-them." Batman answered truthfully with full conviction.

The woman hummed thoughtfully. "He told me that would be your answer but can you keep your word. Can you accept that the son you lost will not be the son gained?"

"I thought The Lord of Time was the riddle fanatic?" Constsntine joked and the woman turned to him ever amused. "Well i enjoy some from time to time." She chuckled at her own joke and turned away toward her maze the one they came through. It wasn't a difficult one at all hardly newsworthy but he had a guess she had something to do with the skill level.

"A friend of mine has a beautiful ship. He would be delighted to escort mortals across the Realms."

"There are no large enough ectoplasmic pools for a ship large enough to hold our party. Mortals need more space than ghosts. We cannot simply hibernate like your kind." Zatanna answered this time he was wondering when she'd show back up. She had left in a flurry of magical nonsense for something but he didn't really understand her explanation.

"Ah but his ship does not sail the water but the sky." She reached into a pouch secured onto her leg below her fancy Greek skirt , which probably had a fancy special name, she pulled out a white whistle. It had runes and symbols all over it and they glowed a bright neon green. She blew into it but no sound came from it.

"Sounds broken-" He manged to whisper to Vic right next him. Victor glanced at him about to speak but a sudden loud crashing over head. He crashed to the floor while the gaint alien Greek ghost laughed at all of them. He looked up to the sky the large pirate ship with skeletons hanging out the side of it peering them. What the....

"Amen Auntie Dora! You called?" A young boy dressed in pirate gear complete with a skeleton parrot on his shoulder.

"It's 'ahoy' ugh why do even I try?" The pirate groaned loudly.

This is going to be one interesting voyage...

[cinnajun]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: cuddling with zb1

a/n: anon this is such a good request thank you also it’s so hard to describe like how people work

notes: yujin is not included due to his age!

wc | 2.1k

jiwoong

big strong warm man

what i mean is jiwoong is the perfect surface to lay on

i think he’s the type of guy to enjoy cuddling but he also doesn’t like need to be cuddling you at all times during your downtime

like it’s not a need yk

and he won’t ask to cuddle (so if you want to and he’s not thinking about it you’re gonna have to ask)

but he’s the type of guy to like … yawn as an excuse to put his arm around you LOL

jiwoong’s ideal cuddling spot is on the couch while you watch tv/a movie

he appreciates it when you lay on him. you’re like his personal and unique weighted blanket

he’ll be sprawled out on the couch and you’ll be on top of him, head on his chest

he will put his arms around your waist and will intermittently poke your sides like he’s checking to make sure you’re real

if you lay there for too long he will kick you off when he feels his arms starting to go numb lol

at night, i don’t think he’s the guy to full on cuddle

i think maybe he’ll put an arm on your waist but that’s it

he doesn’t like your icicle hands jolting him awake at 3 am LOL

if he’s sick he will attach himself to you though … he will also apologize for making you sick afterwards

cuddle rating: 8/10, minus two points for always making you ask

zhang hao

hao is a princess and he likes to sit on your lap

i won’t let anybody tell me otherwise he will actively just sit on you

doesn’t matter what you’re doing or where you are he will just sit on you

it’s kinda like the opposite of jiwoong … hao loves to lay on you except he’s (most likely) taller than you so it’s awkward

sometimes you’ll be napping and he’ll scare you awake by literally collapsing on you

he likes cuddles a lot though so that’s not all he’s doing

i said this in another set of hcs i did but i think hao likes being the little spoon

again he’s a princess

but also i think he just likes the feeling? like he feels comforted in your embrace so he wants you to just hug him all the time

he also strikes me as the type of person who gets cold easily so it warms him up too

on rare occasions, he will be the big spoon but it’s usually when you’re feeling bad and it’s making him sad

hao’s ideal cuddling spot is anywhere but he does like the bed a bit more

cuddling with him is also very quiet and relaxing

there are a lot of kisses on the cheek, forehead, pretty much everywhere

overall very soft and fun time !! it’s very intimate and cute

cuddle rating: 9/10, minus 1 point for him telling you to suck it up when your legs go numb from him sitting on you for so long

hanbin

hanbin is sooo clingy

has to have a hand on you at all times so cuddling is regular

like hao, he will cuddle up to you anywhere at any time, it doesn’t matter if you’re alone or literally all of the boys are there

he’ll sit on your lap but also enjoys it when you sit on his

big spoon, little spoon, it doesn’t matter he is LOVING IT!!!

but i think hanbin prefers cuddling on the couch most

idk if anyone else thinks this but he’s so christmas-coded in my brain, so his ideal is sitting on the couch with the fireplace on and just enjoying each other’s company

he likes laying his head in your lap a lot, especially when you’re talking about your days together

because he can see every single move and every expression you make, so he can easily gauge whether you’re talking about something negative or positive

he will switch with you when you’re done talking, so your head will be on his lap as he tells you about everything you did that day

and he’ll play with your hair while he talks it’s very sweet

hanbin is also the type of guy to cuddle with you while you’re sleeping at night

he can’t sleep without you being there :( he’ll require a stuffed animal replacement when you’re gone

if i keep talking about this i’m going to collapse

cuddle rating: 13/10, plus 3 points for the way he nuzzles up to you at any moment he can

matthew

matthew falls asleep every time you cuddle

it’s so bad

you’ll literally just be leaning on him while you sit on the couch, you’ll look up at him, and he’ll be fast asleep

as a result cuddling with matthew can be very uncomfortable because he’s just like asleep on you

i think his favorite thing to do his like … how do i explain this … i couldn’t figure it out so here’s a link to renjun and chenle doing what i'm thinking of

it’s the easiest way for him to conk out and also not cause you to get the worst cramp of your life in your leg

in the rare moments you fall asleep on him it makes him giggle so much that he wakes you up

and then he falls asleep like 3 minutes later

thanks matthew

a lot of your matthew cuddling time comes from napping with him

i could talk about napping for hours but to keep it short it’s just very sweet

matthew is big and strong man and NOT!!! cute guy so he likes to be big spoon a lot

i mean a lot

more than being a strong man i just think matthew likes holding onto things idk

like he’d be content with a huge teddy bear but he prefers you instead … you know

cuddle rating: 8/10, minus 2 points for laughing at you when you fall asleep on him and minus 1 point for falling asleep on you right after, plus one point for being the absolute cutest

taerae

cuddling with taerae is so casual like that’s the only way i can put it

idk it’s like … you’ll be sitting on the couch holding hands

and then he’ll put an arm around you … and then you’ll put your head on his shoulder … and then his legs are on yours … and now you’re here idk

taerae also likes to sit on your lap

except it’s in the funny way where he’ll taerae sashay over and then kinda just perch himself there

arms around your neck and arms crossed

this is his excuse to be near you in front of other people … he makes it jokey so that he can then give you a kiss on the cheek and tell you how much he loves you

loser

i think when you cuddle with taerae seriously it’s mostly in bed

he takes big naps and drags you with him

you fall asleep and wake up in a human knot like 5 hours later

your leg is on top of his and he’s got an arm like laying over your face and you’ve got an arm over his waist

you feel kinda sweaty and gross too but taerae looks really cute so it’s okay

i also think taerae likes to cuddle when he’s not having the greatest day

he’ll just sit down with you and collapse on you, face in your neck and arms wrapped around your waist :(

i love taerae sooo much

cuddle rating: 8/10, minus 2 points for trapping you in a knot for an hour that one time because he wouldn’t wake up

ricky

don’t hate me but i don’t think ricky is a big cuddler

it’s not that he doesn’t like it it’s just not his favorite thing in the whole entire world

his idea of cuddling is like holding your hand LOL

if you’re big into cuddling or your love language is physical touch he’s going to suck up his opinions and cuddle you it’s just gonna be a bit awkward

like he will weirdly put an arm over your shoulder while you lay on him

it’s like being in middle school all over again

he will literally google “how to cuddle” and ask gyuvin for pointers

you’d think cuddling was an olympic sport like just hug ur s/o bro

so i don’t really have much to say on that but i have A LOT to say when it comes to skinship

ricky is a hand-on-your-waist enthusiast

idk it just fits there so perfectly … it’s like his arm was meant to be around your waist

no matter where u go that’s where it is

i also think ricky gives shockingly good hugs? idk they’re kinda hot LOL

he does the thing where he’ll greet you by hugging you with specifically one arm … can you guys envision this like i can

big back hug guy … and he will put his head on top of yours

god SWOON ricky is so UGHHGGHGH

cuddle rating: 5/10 stop asking gyuvin for pointers // hug rating: 10/10 how can u make a hug so attractive bro (i need to write ricky brother’s best friend)

gyuvin

HUMAN TEDDY BEAR!!!

lanky boys are meant to be cuddled i don’t make the rules

he’s just so easy to koala hug cause he’s so long

based on what we know about him i think gyuvin LOOVES to cuddle

specifically i think he likes to lay on your tummy

like you’ll be laying down normally and then he will come lay perpendicular to you so he can use ur tummy as a pillow

if you’re not lying down he will substitute for your chest, and he likes to convince himself he’s the reason your heart is beating that fast (it is beating at an absolutely average rate LMFAO)

his absolute favorite is when you put your head on his chest

it makes his heart flutter and gives him butterflies like he's a schoolgirl about to confess to her crush

you can literally hear his heart pounding when you do it

i think cuddle sessions between you and gyuvin are also gossip sessions

like he will unload every insane thing he’s heard recently onto you and expect you to do the same

when you’re gossiping he likes to lay face-to-face, and a lot of the time he will just put his hand on your face

or he will put his arm on your waist … or mess with your hair

you’ll be saying the most heinous shit about someone and he will be giggling bc he thinks you look pretty

and you do the same exact thing

when you sleep he encases you in an impossible-to-escape limb cage so good luck with that

cuddle rating: 10/10 get ready to hear exactly how that one guy in his math class cheated on his gf

gunwook

HUMAN TEDDY BEAR AGAIN!!!

i know this man is the cuddle CHAMPION like you take one look at him and you can tell he gives warm hugs

he’s also like a space heater so he’s automatically the number 1 person to be around

tbh it could be like 30°f and you wouldn’t need a blanket you’d just need to attach yourself to gunwook

he loooves cuddles soooo much this guy just thinks it’s so cute

he teehees like a teenage girl every time you do

gunwook’s ideal cuddle is you being fast asleep with your face in his chest and your arms around his waist

mostly because he can take these really cheesy selfies of you asleep on him like bro stand UP

but also because he can scroll on his phone and have something to do while he acts as your personal heater

also appreciates laying on top of you which is sometimes difficult because he’s generally larger than you

i also think he would enjoy it when you sit in between his legs and he can like … wrap his arm around you and put his head on your shoulder … does that make sense

when gunwook is sleeping he treats you like the pillow he talked abt in that one clip … so his leg is on you and his chin is on your head etc

it’s cute

sometimes you can’t breathe tho

cuddle rating: 10/10 equal to gyuvin but unique in his own ways. go to the store and get yourself a gunwook

thank you for reading !

tags: @happysmileybee @wtfhyuck

[lo1k-diamonds]

SX Seoul Series | Jungkook Entry 💜 Bubbles (Part 1)

PAIRING: Jungkook/Reader

SUMMARY: You're back in town and your first stop in a night out with friends is a new club: SX Seoul. You had no plans, but when you see your ex, everything changes.

WORD COUNT: 11.6k

GENRE: Exes to lovers, smuuuuuut, angst, making up

RATING: Explicit

WARNINGS: exes, explicit sexual content, in public, oral, slight degradation and rough cause you are both hurt

PARTS: [1] [2]

(You can also read it on AO3)

Masterlist | Masterpost | Scroll my stories on Tumblr | Schedule and WIPs

You smiled at the bouncer on your way inside the club and brushed a strand of dark hair behind your ear. Your group called you to follow as you got lost looking around the newest club in Itaewon. It was purposefully dark with red neon lights in wavy lines flowing in the direction of the dance floor but not before a huge sign with black and white stripes coaxed your attention with promises expanding over the several floors: SX.

“Come along.”

You smile at your best friend and follow her and her friends to a reserved club area not too far from the bar. The Tech House music is making your rib cage hum comfortably, and you sit on a couch before she turns to you again.

“I know the bartender on our side tonight! I’ll go say hi for a second!”

You nod and watch her go as you take the space around you comfortably. The other girls are chatting, cross-checking who’s there tonight and who they know. You’re used to hanging with girls like them — fun and wild at parties and clubs. You don’t know them because you’ve been away for a while, but you trust your dearest friend to keep good company around.

Either way, you’re there to have fun and enjoy being back home. You take a deep breath, the familiar scent of sweat and alcohol latching itself onto your skin before you even contemplate dancing. Everyone else is already doing it, flowing like a perfect wave in that crowd, and you’ll join them soon enough.

The lights were flashing all around to the generous beat, making you tap your foot, and you contemplated getting up without waiting for your best friend when you saw him. Fully dressed in black in a way that avoided light and dancing so closely with a girl your guts burned with furious envy.

“Right? I’ve heard about him,” a girl gushed to your right. “He’s very hot.”

“You’re joking, look at that sleeve,” another one replied, and your eyes immediately traced his arm. It was fuller now. “I wanna ride that bad.”

“Do you think he has other tattoos?”

“I’ll tell you tomorrow,” one answered, and they all giggled and laughed around. Your eyes never diverted from him or the way he was dancing with that girl, firm hands gripping her waist over a sparkly deeply cleavaged top.

“But you know, I’ve heard he fucks without kissing. Without even acknowledging you.”

Finally, your eyes turned to the girl sharing all the gossip, and you wondered how she knew that.

“First-hand experience?” You ask with a teasing smile, just making conversation. They didn’t have to know how truly interested you were in knowing.

“No,” the other girls turned to hear more, and you could see they were all charmed by the picture the girl was conjuring. “Not my kind of thing.”

The other girls teased her reply for a moment while you paid them little mind.

“Yeah, right. Look at him,” another one laughed openly. 

“He’s fucking sexy and has this cute smile,” one said, almost wantonly. She was possibly voicing everyone else’s thoughts. “Face it, who wouldn’t want to touch those curls?”

“He can get any girl on her knees.”

“And a bad boy? Get serious. We’d all be lining up.”

“What if he changes?”

“What if we’re the one?”

They all giggled except you, starting to regret not having a drink in your hand.

“Guys like him don’t change.”

“Actually,” the girl with the gossip leaned forward. “Rumor is he was in a committed relationship and that when she dumped him, he did a one-eighty and never dated seriously again.”

Your friend neared you all with a tray of shots and a wide grin, “Who’s not dating seriously?”

“Whoa, what a bitch,” one replied, leaning forward to grab a glass.

“Who would waste that?”

“If I could tap that, I’d hook him around my little finger.”

Your best friend looked at you quizzically, and you just twitched the corners of your mouth. You grabbed a shot glass as well while the gossip girl explained everything to your best friend. In an instant, her eyes shot to yours, but you were purposefully avoidant.

“What’s his name anyway?” One of them asked, turning her back so they could toast.

“Jeon Jungkook.”

Your eyes immediately fell back on him, and you ignored your friend’s worried looks. You cheered with the girls to a good and steamy night and drank the shot without much thought. It burned on its way down, but you were already burning from before, so no biggie. Who cared who he danced with, you were there to have fun too.

Your best friend called your name with a tinge of worry, and all you did was smile, “I’ll go grab another round.”

You got up and adjusted your short strapless dress to make sure it covered your ass before trying to get in between the crowd to reach the bar. You didn’t have to go that far, but you couldn’t control your curiosity. As you moved in closer, you could see how he seemed taller, more built, and so buff. He had let his hair grow longer, and it curled wildly around his ears, giving him an edge you found yourself liking a lot. Your lower belly was tingling already as you eyed him with hunger, especially those firm hands.

You were so hot that you were sweaty and by the time you leaned against the bar, you finally noticed something wasn’t right. The girl he was with was waving something small and flat between two fingers that she hid very quickly, and whatever it was got him angry. You knew that disgusted lip pull, and it made you smile.

He turned away from the girl, and you instantly faced the bar, giving the whole scene your back. You were curious, hot, and bothered by the mere fact that he was there, that you got to see him, that there was a possibility that you would talk. It had been a while. You shouldn’t be curious, but the tingly sensation down your stomach wasn’t interested in shouldn’ts.

It was then and there that you almost took a deep breath and committed to not look his way the rest of the night. Your curiosity shouldn’t be enough, the girls gossiped way too much so you had all the information you could need, and there was really no need for your paths to intersect.

But fate wouldn’t have you choose that road tonight, it would seem. You turned to the side, curious as to where he would be, and you smiled. There were only two people in between you and an outstretched arm with a full sleeve over the bar counter. He was too close to be ignored, and you just couldn’t.

You made your way to him and luckily the two people between you had just gotten their drinks and were ready to leave. Jungkook didn’t notice you getting near because the bartender was listening to his order, and you just leaned on the bar counter by his side.

“Order for me too, will you?”

He turned to you and his face was worth a million words. His lips parted to make way for air, but he wasn’t breathing, and that was when you noticed the lip ring. His skin was perfectly immaculate, the sweetness you’d recognize anywhere in the tender swell of his cheeks. Higher, his normally lovely eyes were wide in shock as he took in your presence. His eyebrows twitched, and you noticed another piercing, which along with the new ones on his lip made you smile as you leaned to support your head on your hand. He was still figuring out if you were a ghost while you were in wonderland, wondering what had happened to all that sweetness.

“Here you go,” the bartender placed a whiskey cola on the counter, and you turned quickly before Jungkook could react.

“Can you get me one too, please?”

You were already waving your credit card, and the bartender acquiesced without wasting a beat.

It was the moment he needed to grab his drink and chug half of it like he was dying of thirst. Or maybe he just really needed a drink after seeing you.

“Thirsty are we?” You asked, reaching for the glass from his hand and taking a couple of sips while never breaking away from his darkened eyes. The ice-cold drink had you close your eyes for a second, thankful for the refreshing sensation down your chest. “You always liked them sweet.”

You placed his glass near his hand again before turning to smile at the bartender returning with your card and your drink.

“You’re here.”

It wasn’t a question and if you weren’t interested in reading his lips, you might have missed it. So you smiled, letting the nostalgia fill you up in a nice kind of way. You had missed the little twitches of his lips while he mused, or the way he scratched his nose bridge softly when he was embarrassed or at a loss.

“I am. How are you?”

His eyes were focused on the drink, and he scoffed at your question, reaching to drink the rest of it. That was the first time you doubted this could end well. There was a bitterness in his features that dragged yours out of the deepest corners of you where you wished it would remain buried.

“Why are you here?”

Your lips twitched, “New club in Seoul.”

He sneered, “There were many new clubs in Seoul over the last year. Never crossed you before.”

“You know I wasn’t here.”

Your eyes locked, and yours had all the meaning they could have. You weren’t in Seoul, so you couldn’t have crossed paths before. But you were here now.

He looked down and licked his lower lip while kicking the bar pensively. You let him process the fact that you were there in the flesh while you drank. When he looked up at you again, you caught his eyes and passed him your drink. He took a second, but he grabbed it, turning to the bar to down it while you leaned into his ear.

“Dance with me.”

He looked out of the corner of his eye at you, and you pulled back, waiting. You weren’t as crazy as anyone could assume, you knew the options. He could outright laugh in your face and move away like you were a plague, and it would hurt, but you would understand. 

You kept your eyes locked on his, riding that heartbeat as you waited. You also knew that he could take you up on that offer, dance with you, and who knew what else. And it wasn’t as much as for the mystery, or a challenge, or anything of the like. You didn’t want him for any of those vain reasons. You wanted so much more.

He gave you a short nod and placed your empty glass next to his, with only the ice left. You gave him a cheeky smile before turning to go deeper into the crowd, far away and in the middle so that your best friend wouldn’t see you and advise you to be wise and think twice. What could you tell her; the moment fate challenged you with the chance of meeting him, you instantly lost.

You never turned back to check if he was following, you just assumed he did. You stopped with the flashing lights, sweating bodies, and thrumming music all around you, and you closed your eyes. You wanted his hands on you, his arms around you, his waist so close you’d be indistinguishable. You craved his presence, slick pooling at the thought of it alone.

So when two firm hands grabbed your waist and pulled you back flush against a firm chest, snaking arms holding your stomach and going up your sternum like they owned you, all you could do was free-fall into him, releasing a moan that you knew he could have never heard, but he surely felt.

He hid his nose in your hair, lulling you two to the beat, and you melted against him. He was always a good dancer, the way he rolled his hips to guide yours reminding you of far sweeter times. His hand reached your chest and rested there, and you thanked the dark, the loud music, the crowd, the alcohol, the moment. It was in those moments that the deepest desires came out, hiddenly safely away. Only the two of you knew: how he was brushing his nose and lips on your neck, and how you were grabbing his arms to close around you tighter.

“When did you come back?” His lips were so close to your ear that a wave of shivers ran down your neck.

“Two days ago.”

His arms around you had you losing yourself further and further. You couldn’t care less what the music was or where you were. All you wanted was that chance, and you were greedy.

“Are you alone?”

You sank your nails into his skin, “Youngjoo is here.” He didn’t react, but you knew he would remember your best friend. “Are you?”

You forced the words out of you. You almost didn’t want to know, especially after what the girls were gossiping about. Maybe they were wrong and he was dating someone seriously. But then he would have never been dancing with that girl before, so maybe the rumors were true. And on that end, you had very mixed feelings.

He didn’t answer, but he didn’t move away either. You loved everything as it was: every inch of his skin glued to yours, his lips ghosting your neck, his hands seconds away from groping you and making you beg.

But eventually, you needed more. You needed an answer. You’d beg, gladly, but not if he had his thoughts on someone else.

So you turned in his arms, the short dress allowing you to easily glue your bodies together as you hid near his ear. “Answer me,” you cooed, brushing his neck with your fingers until you were embracing and grazing his scalp with your nails. You leaned on him, his sweat not bothering you for an instant. It reminded you of what it was like to feel him that close while on his lap. When he would fuck into you, sweetly and strongly until every breath was a moany whimper, and you buried your fingers just like that to keep him close. His delectable scent would invade you then and envelop you tightly in everything Jungkook-related until all there was left was his coarse words tensing the coil in your—

He breathed near your ear, and you froze. But he said nothing, and so you sighed.

“Answer me,” you asked again. This time you nuzzled his ear and pressed yourself even closer, “Tell me what I want to hear. Tell me you’re by yourself, that you have no plans, no one waiting at home, and nothing stopping you from doing this,” you let out all your deepest desires, carried out by the close and delirious moment. 

His hand was pressing up your spine and nape as you spoke until it latched onto your hair, but it didn’t pull you away. You had moved by yourself to be as close as you could, breaths fanning each other’s faces as you waited for his reply. 

You waited and longed, and tried not to rub your body flush against that familiar warmth that you were craving like the air you breathed. Unmistakably, your body betrayed you by leaning closer and closer until your noses grazed briefly, and that was when you felt the pull. His hand pulled your head back by your hair, and you opened your glistening eyes, teeth deep into your lower lip with utmost desire, only to find his dark eyes and rigid expression. And that was enough to shake you and put out in the open everything you wished had stayed hidden: he was angry.

Suddenly, you remembered very well the last time you saw him. How much it hurt him, and you. How much of a coward you had been. How much you didn’t deserve a drop of his attention, let alone his time, touch, or warmth. 

He let you go slowly as memories you thought no longer haunted you came rushing back, making you swallow a lump. But you smiled, because how could you not? He was angry, so very clearly, and you deserved it.

Your bodies were finally separated and despite the happiness in your chest at having had the chance to see him, your knees were weak and your legs wobbly. You couldn’t do this.

“I’m sorry,” you voiced, hoping that your expression conveyed how much you meant those words. For now. For before.

And you turned to leave with a deep breath. Were you running away? Yes. In a way, from the anger you created in him and the regret in yourself. From the risk of being rejected head-on, which you knew you had coming. But you were never brave, so you couldn’t face it. You could even agree he deserved to have the pleasure, but you were far too selfish to let him have it. No. You’d remain the bitch who dumped him and couldn’t face the consequences, which was exactly why you were leaving. 

It was chilly outside, but it didn’t matter, you were too hot from all the emotions — the excitement and the shame and regret. You stepped to the street where you knew that among the cars stopping and passing, you’d eventually catch a taxi dropping people off, and took out your phone to text your best friend that you were leaving.

You had just hit send when someone grabbed your arm, and you offered resistance, ready to fight whoever dared to try to grab you and—

Familiar dark eyes faced you back, and you instantly let your body fall to his chest. His jawline was still firm as he clenched it, angry eyes stiffening his face, but you still let yourself get drawn in like a magnet to a polar opposite. You knew he was mad, knew he had reasons to hate you, despise you, treat you worse than the girls he fucked without kissing or acknowledging, but fuck were you—

He stepped back and dragged you along, and you offered no resistance. You had no idea where he was taking you as he walked you down the street tightly by the arm, hiding his grip between you as you walked. You looked up at him, ignoring if you’d trip and fall with such high heels. He looked angry, and you cursed yourself for thinking it looked hot as hell on him. 

He pulled you into a dimly lit back alley that led to a residential area and stopped you just behind a hidden corner hidden by a parked car. Your back hit the wall, and you looked up at him while grabbing the chain strap of your bag over your head so it wouldn’t be in the way. 

That thought repeated itself — he looked hot as hell. You didn’t like that he was angry with you, but that tension on him was sexy as fuck, and you wanted to be the one to relax him. To let him take out his frustration on you until he was vulnerable and sweet like you always remembered him.

Those were the thoughts in your mind when you raised your hands to touch him, but he slapped your hands away harshly. You didn’t have time to react, though because a second later he caged your face in his hands and crashed his mouth to yours, pressing you between him and the wall. 

The cold wall was nothing when you were burning inside out. His mouth was hungry on yours, and you paid him back in kind, getting your tongue to meet his just as eagerly. Your hands gripped his shoulders closely while you tried not to let the lightheadedness get you, but it was too late. All you wanted was happening right now, you’d keep kissing him and reaching for him until the end.

His hands lowered to your curves as his lips trailed down your jawline, and you moaned when he squeezed your chest harshly. You pulled him closer; you wanted it all, and when he humped his erection to your hip, all you could think to do was beg.

“Yes,” you breathed, feeling how hard he was through both your clothes, from head to base. “Fuck me right now. Please.”

His lips quickly came to yours, if to shut you up or not, you couldn’t tell. Either way, he gave you enough space to reach his waist, unbutton his pants and grab his cock firmly. He rutted your hand with wanton groans into your neck, and you felt like the world was yours. If you could have him, then you wouldn’t complain or whine ever again. If that thick cock would stretch you again like you wished so badly, then you’d shut up about everything wrong in this world because absolutely nothing would be wrong ever again.

Maybe he heard your prayers because suddenly he grabbed your hips and tapped them for you to instinctively jump on his lap. You supported yourself on his shoulders while he kissed you and let you play with his lip rings, rolling your tongue over them. Meanwhile, you could feel but not exactly know what he was doing at your waist level in between your two bodies. Only when he put the condom wrap near his mouth so he could rip it open with his teeth did you realize there was a good reason to interrupt your make-out session. 

You let him have his focus while he put it on, lazily brushing your lips over his forehead. He searched for your panties, only to rudely pull them to the side and push himself inside you. You groaned with a hint of a whine at the burn, but soon he made you jump on his lap, shoving his cock fully into you, and you let your head fall back. Fuck, had you missed this.

You didn’t have time to let the pleasure reach every corner of you, but your enjoyment was not cut short. His hips snapped into yours and your chin dropped, eyes hooded when you realized that was how you were going to get him. He did it again, grabbing your shoulder and hip into place, and the corners of your mouth twitched. You almost smiled before biting your lip as he started a paced rhythm that didn’t give you a second’s rest. 

His angry eyes were on you as the slaps echoed into the night along with your stifled moans until you couldn’t care. Who cared if someone found Jungkook fucking your brains out? You wanted him to, dreamed of it, remembered it, had wished on all your lucky stars you would one day get to feel that way again. And now? Fuck if you cared who caught you. That thick cock ramming into you was the sweetest thing—

He grabbed your hair to pull you to kiss him, and you kept on moaning into his mouth. His tongue didn’t meet the reception he wanted, and you blamed the way he was fucking into you so hard you couldn’t even breathe right. Maybe it aggravated him, or it just gave him his next idea, but in a second he was kissing down your neck, which had you grabbing his head close so he would keep going.

Suddenly, he yanked the upper part of your dress and as it didn’t have stripes, the elastic gave in and let the fabric slide. He did the same on the strapless bra, not stopping his hips for a second, until your chest was out in the open, bouncing with every thrust.

He buried his face between your tits, licking and biting for a moment in which you knew you were dripping slick down both him and you. You fucking loved it. Your haze was so up in the clouds, you couldn’t be bothered to come down until he did something that shook your heart.

He tightened your legs around his waist and leaned in a special angle. It allowed him to hold you firmly against the wall and fuck you in a way that rubbed your clit just like you loved it. Instantly, the way he reached deep inside you had you moaning breathlessly. Then he straightened up, carefully perfecting his movements until your mouth was open, and you were jumping on his lap with him to the best of your abilities. He knew he had you in the right spot, you were squirming but desperate to stay close, moaning and completely lost, trying to sink your nails into his skin but weak to the sensations leaving you adrift. He reveled in that, with such pride swelling inside him, he didn’t know what to do with himself aside from grabbing both your tits and squeezing them harshly.

He felt the way you tensed around his cock, and he knew he had you. With every snap of his hips, your eyes closed further, your moans became breathy, and your legs pulled him more in. He knew he could squeeze you to the point it bruised without as much as a whimper, but he stayed clear from doing it, taking pleasure only in the way his cock was so deep inside you that he knew you’d never forget it.

You took your hands to his over your chest, and then it hit you that only he could do you like this. Only he knew every little thing that you liked, only he knew how to grope and squeeze without hurting you, only he knew exactly how to fuck you into oblivion every time. Because it was him.

Fuck, it’s him. After so long—

You tried reaching for him, but your hand dropped to his shoulder as you let the orgasm shake you and steal away your inhibitions if there ever were any. You closed your eyes and felt his body press closer to you, almost as if to hide you from the world, as you moaned and cursed him for releasing you like this. He fucked you through it, then hid in your neck when it came to his climax, grunting and holding you tightly. You grinned and petted his head when he stilled, blissful with having him tucked deep inside you again.

Until he cursed into your neck, and you weren’t sure if it was out of giddiness, delight, relaxation, or relief like it would have been for you, or if it was because he was pissed at himself.

When he let you down a bit more abruptly than you anticipated, you were left with a stronger doubt.

He turned to the side to get rid of the condom, and you took the time to put your bra and dress back in place. When he turned back to face you, you had already grabbed your bag from the floor and were just looking at him. Your lips twitched — he looked so fucking handsome with that spark in his eyes. 

He cursed, then ruffled his hair for a moment before looking at you again, “I’ll take you home.”

You pulled your hair neatly back and pursed your lips, “I’m staying at Youngjoo’s. I don't have a place yet, so we… wouldn’t have privacy.”

He openly snorted, “You're assuming I want seconds.”

You sighed with a light shrug, “Isn't that what we just did?”

His derision fell through as his features hardened again, but you didn't argue. You did what you did and didn't regret it for a second. You were both adults, and he followed you. There was no point in pretending you didn't want each other. That was what you asked for and what he had given you, whether that made him angry or not.

But you didn't want to antagonize him. You gave him a short nod, “It's okay, I can—”

He clicked his tongue and gave you a dry look before giving you a nod to follow him. You considered for a second if you should — if it made him so angry, maybe you shouldn't. But tonight you were giving zero fucks about shouldn’ts. You were doing what you wanted, and what you wanted was your hands on him for as long as possible. 

So when he stopped next to a red motorcycle and opened the seat compartment to get you a helmet, you smirked. You wouldn't tell him, but you missed exactly that — hugging him while he sped between every single obstacle and your hair flowed behind you with the wind. When you were free to go mad fast but remained safe as only he made you feel.

He sat first, putting on his helmet expertly and starting the motor in a well-rehearsed move. You had seen him do it before, when you were still together, but there was a certain magic to it. Even some things changed, he didn’t.

He leaned his head ever so slightly to glance at you, and you smirked, finally getting on behind him and gripping him firmly. Maybe you shouldn’t, but you were feeling daring — and he looked back. He checked on you, despite the derision and silences. You took the small win.

“You remember where Youngjoo lives?” You asked in a bit of a shout as he looked at the road to finally get going.

He didn’t answer you, but seeing the direction he took, you immediately assumed he remembered. And with this, you allowed yourself to lean closer, wrap your arms tighter around his torso, and relax. You inhaled his scent unapologetically by sticking your face into his shoulder; the helmet was big, and he surely felt it. You palmed his chest and torso over his jacket; you hoped he wouldn’t get too distracted. You were petty, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop and get angry with you or snap your hands away. Knowing this was perhaps the last chance you’d ever have to touch him, so you did. Wrong or right, it didn’t matter to you. You’d remember this later and all the little sensations, and you’d be happy you did.

You were lulled by his warm body and the drum of the motor raging on, so you paid little attention to where you were going. All you knew was that when he stopped and pushed a button for a communal garage to open at the foot side of an apartment complex, it was not Youngjoo’s place.

He rode more softly through the cars parked underground until he found his spot and stopped. You didn’t ask questions, you didn’t need to. You stepped out of the bike and handed him your helmet, and he took it and put it back, the both of you quiet. You made sure to remain quiet as you followed him, small as a mouse, into the elevator lobby. Then, you got inside one, and he pressed the seventh floor. Even when the doors closed with only the two of you there, you stayed quiet.

Your mind was roaring on about him bringing you to his place and the only reason he would have to do that. Your chest could have exploded. With every passing minute ever since you laid eyes on him, it felt like you were living a dream. Only in dreams did you think you’d ever have the chance of being near him, so no matter what, you were winging it. Living the moment, even if all of this turned out to be an angry fuck, you’d gladly get on your back.

He typed the code to unlock an apartment door, and you followed him inside. You left your cheekiness outside, in the night, right before you got into the bike and decided to make the most of your time with him. He threw the motorcycle keys on a table you couldn’t see because it was dark and turned on the lights, making you hold your breath. He had moved to that place, that much was certain, but this space didn’t remind you of Jungkook like you expected it to.

You had only taken one step to peep into his home, you meant to turn back and take your shoes off as it was respectful to do, but he was a step ahead. You moved out of the way to switch places with him right after he got his jacket on the hanger, but he had something else in mind. His hands followed you to your waist, and as soon as you looked up, eager lips were searching for yours.

You instantly melted against the wall, hands raising to run through his hair as you let yourself dive into that contentment again. While you were relaxed, he was clearly impatient. His palms traced your curves in wide but quick movements, so firmly you knew you could have already been naked, he was learning the same. His tongue was inside your mouth almost as quickly as his body pressed to yours, stealing your thoughts and any possibility you ever had to change your mind. Not that you would, and you were sure he knew that. Your hands were grabbing him close, your breathing was heavy and dragged, and you weren’t fighting his kiss in the slightest, on the contrary. Your tongue was inviting him and your body was arching to expose more skin. You were taking what you could, and you’d give back whatever he wanted.

But then he broke the kiss and looked down, forcing you to stop as well. You looked at him under wanton fluttering lashes, only to find him with that same stiff and reticent expression you had seen before. 

Your first heartbeat stung — you could guess why he was hesitating, and there was nothing you could do about it now.

The second revolted you — you were there, weren’t you? In his house? He brought you here, so why worry? Why hesitate? Why overthink?

The third got you annoyed — if he was that hesitant, why bring you there in the first place? Why bother?

The fourth riled you up, and that was when you spoke, “What’s wrong?”

He refused to look up at you, but never moved away.

His breathing was calming down, and you spoke without thinking, “Changed your mind?”

His eyes finally moved to yours and you saw his anger. And again, like a well-rehearsed exercise, all you could think was how you were right there.

“I’m here,” you said quietly, reaching for the curling strands of hair behind his ear.

He didn’t move, his eyes fixed on the corner of your lips, and you knew he was forcing himself to stay like this.

“I can leave,” he finally said. “You can sleep here, and I can leave.”

“Why?”

He finally looked up at your eyes as you let your head fall back to the wall.

“This is your place, why leave?”

His jaw tensed, and you could swear you saw a vein pulsing.

You sighed, “You brought me here, so here I am. What do you want to do? Fuck me until morning? Gladly. Just sleep? I’m sure you have a big bed. Drink until we pass out? I’m down. Talk?” His eyebrows twitched, and she nodded, “Not sure how that would work, but we can. Or not. I won't say another word if you don’t want me to. Just stop this internal struggle of yours. Do what you want to do.”

You were as comfortable as could be between him and the wall and just waited for his decision. Your eyes stayed on his pensive expression, taking in the little details before lowering to his wide shoulders and biceps. He was definitely more buff, and you wondered if it changed things a lot or—

“You can shower first.”

He backed away from you, and you couldn’t help your expression sobering up. He looked almost apologetic, hiding something deep inside while showing you something you could only call a mask.

But you knew him. All those women thirsting after him, wishing they could make him smile and fall for them, didn’t know him like you did. For better or worse, all they had were rumors while you had memories.

So you nodded and walked towards the bathroom, but not before turning around midway, “Please don’t leave.”

The look you gave him was enough — pleading, whereas his eyes flickered with an emotion you had not yet seen on him tonight. But even if you wanted to press it and ask, you didn’t. At the end of the day, it was still his choice, and you were well aware of it.

You took a calming shower, cleaning the sweat and alcohol from your skin with a shower gel that smelled of him, and wondered what your next step should be. You ended up deciding that if he had left despite your request, you would call a taxi and go back to Youngjoo’s. You honestly hoped as you toweled yourself that he would tell you to leave and be clear about it, instead of leaving to give you space at the expense of his comfort.

You glanced around the bathroom and ignored your discarded dress and heels in the corner, searching for something else instead. Your eyes fell on a black tee thrown over the laundry basket, but that didn’t quite make it in. You grabbed it and brought it to your nose, shutting your eyes instantly with a longing scrunch of your face — it smelled of him. You couldn’t bring yourself to admit the mess of feelings that his very existence created in you, but the tears in your eyes were enough.

You quickly put it on, looking at yourself in the mirror. He always enjoyed oversized clothes, which on you looked like two of you could fit. Your lips curved as you smoothed the fabric over your stomach, his scent gracing your senses every time you took a breath. Nothing beat that comfort.

You turned to leave the bathroom and hoped to find Jungkook still there. You hoped he’d let you keep the tee, though you wouldn’t be opposed to taking it off if it would be replaced with his strong arms—

The scent of coffee hit your nose quickly once in the living room, and your brow furrowed. Not because it was coffee, Jungkook liked coffee, but because when you neared the kitchen, your guts twisted. On the counter, you saw a fuming mug, and the cinnamon smell instantly teared you up. That plus the bottle of soy milk and the honey pot pushed to the back told you many things: he had those things he never really drank before lying around, he remembered your favorite latte, and he made it for you.

Your eyes jumped to his back; he was looking outside the kitchen window and by the intense coffee scent around him, you knew before he turned that he was having a black espresso.

He looked at you and your guts turned; all you could do was look into his eyes while your fingers gripped the hem of his shirt on you. You were tearing up in a way you couldn’t control, everything was too much. He didn’t leave. You were there, in his life, in his home, wearing his clothes, about to have your favorite drink that he prepared for you because he still remembered how. That meant he had to care, even if just a little, and you didn’t know what to say but—

Your chin trembled, but before you voiced anything, he finished his coffee, put the empty cup in the sink, and passed you to enter the bathroom. The door merely clicked closed, and you covered your eyes, trying to reel your emotions back in. You neared the counter to grab your coffee and as soon as the taste hit your tongue, your heart shook, creasing lines between your eyebrows as you teared up.

You didn’t want to have hope, but your stupid heart was turning a deaf ear. You never had hope before; you knew you fucked up and never handled things properly. Just for the way you hurt him, you knew you didn’t deserve any kindness. You scoffed at yourself and drank more to have the comfort of that warmth down your chest as if it came straight from him. You knew, and it made no sense, but you were still there, and you were willing to delude yourself for a moment longer.

So you took the mug and the opportunity to look around while you heard the shower faintly in the background. His place was bigger now, and you looked around with a smile on your face. He had the same black leather couch, the same gray bean bag, and the same shoebox by the entrance. The fact that he had a projector screen instead of a TV made you smile; he spoke for ages about wanting to do that if he ever moved out of his previous place. But as you took in the rest of the apartment, your smile broke a little.

On the corner, there was a barbell weight set, dumbbells, a pull-up bar, and resistance bands. He used to work out before, but now you knew why he looked bigger — he definitely worked out more now. You pursed your lips with the sweet latte comforting you as you sipped it slowly; you didn’t want to think about why he was making that effort.

You moved on to take a look at his desk, interested in what he was working on, and you stilled. He still had his gaming keyboard, mouse, and desktop, but now he had books about photography on the desk. He always liked photography and filmmaking, but the new camera and microphone spoke volumes about what he was working on at the moment. You searched around for the easel he’d always have with a recent work in progress or his sketch notebook, but you couldn’t find them, and so you pressed your lips. You loved it when he sketched you, always when you least expected it, showing you beautiful versions of yourself you only started believing because of him.

You finished the coffee, eager for the sweet trace to link you back to him. You wondered what happened to—

You turned when you heard the bathroom door open; you never noticed he had stopped showering. Your thoughts tripped over themselves at the sight of him: wet raven hair ruffled by a towel long abandoned somewhere, dark eyes set on you as if he wanted to make sure he was seeing right, soft golden skin covering wide shoulders and big arms, and chest, leading to firm abs that were always there, but not as marked. Your eyes lowered, but the black towel was hanging on to his hip like you could only envy.

You raised your eyes to find him serious, looking at you; tense features on a tense body. 

“Thank you,” you smiled at him, waving the empty mug before placing it down on the kitchen counter. You swallowed a lump at the view of him walking towards you, despite his demeanor. “It’s my favorite—”

You weren’t startled when he grabbed your head and crashed his mouth to yours. You were praying for it to happen, and the burn running down your chest from the way your mouths tried to consume one another had you melting instantly. You wanted him, you weren’t hiding it, and whatever way he wanted to touch you worked as long as he did. As long as those lips pressing yours covered all of you. As long as his tongue fighting yours spelled your pleasure at his whim, while his fingers pressed marks only he could trace on you.

Your hands moved to those wide shoulders that had your knees wobbly, and he pushed them away before forcing your head up to face him better. He wanted your focus on your kiss only, and you didn’t mind, but the temptation to grab him and scratch him was overriding your senses. You tried again, but this time he grabbed you by the waist and pulled you with him. You gripped his shoulders for support, finally sinking your nails in the soft muscle just as he nibbled your bottom lip.

Your ass hit something and when he pushed you to get on it, you just briefly freed one hand to throw whatever was on the dining table behind you off. You moaned with the bites he was leaving down your neck, while you focused on keeping him close with your legs wrapped around him. He fumbled with the tee shirt to get his hands on you and quickly grabbed your chest in a push-and-squeeze motion that had you moaning and humping him. Fuck, you missed this. No one could ever mess you up like he could, you always turned into a whimpering wet mess with him.

He scratched down your stomach to your hips, squeezing them harshly, then pulled away. He grabbed the hem of the shirt, and you raised your arms instantly to let him strip you.

The, he stepped back and threw the shirt on the floor, hungry dark eyes observing you from head to toe.

“Fuck, look at you.”

A subtle line showed between your eyebrows; his tone was abrasive in a way you weren’t familiar with. But the way he got back between your legs while getting on his knees was in line with what you knew. He, in a praying position, tracing your skin with open-mouthed kisses while he groped and scratched every inch of you, was one of the reasons you couldn’t forget him. You couldn’t let go of what it felt like to be desired by that man. The thought alone had you wet and whimpering, the only difference was that now you’d experience it again after only dreams and hopes.

His mouth kept tracing kisses on your inner thighs, just like he knew would drive you crazy, but you didn’t whine about it. No, you wanted it to last. Whatever he’d give to you, you wanted it. You weren’t beyond begging, but you wouldn’t just with a little bit of torture. No, you knew how that mouth could move on you, how his tongue could lap at the perfect rhythm. You could wait for perfection.

He slapped your ass on one side, opening your leg further with a whimper from you. He repeated the motion on the other side, and only then did you notice you were squeezing him between your legs. It made you smirk as you looked down — you could see his dark eyes with a few wet hair strands over them, the hint of teeth as he grazed your sensitive inner thighs. He could spank you all he wanted; you wanted him to. So you smiled and pressed your lips, clearly telling him that you’d keep your mouth shut.

He bit down, getting a deep moan from you. You were clenching around nothing, dripping with slick, and you were sure he noticed.

“Since when are you so patient?”

He sounded annoyed, and you giggled wantonly, so fucking amused you couldn’t help it. “I’m patient when it’s worth it.” You could feel his hands pressing your skin, going to the swell of your ass to squeeze, and you nearly sighed. “I wouldn’t dare to rush perfection.”

He scoffed but dropped his mouth on you instantly, having all your cockiness evaporating on the spot. He ate you like only he did, grabbing your squirmy self still while he made out with you. His tongue lapped at your clit in a fixed rhythm that you couldn’t explain, and seconds later you released every square inch of air from inside your lungs with a deep moan. He knew you liked a stable, slow rhythm, but keeping your thighs in place was irking you. It was right there! If only he’d let you move. Just a centimeter right— No! Just one or two to the left, and you’d be lost to those sensations you hadn’t felt in months.

You whimpered, but you couldn’t talk while he did that to you. You reached for his hands on your hips and squeezed them, both looking for support and for a way to be free. His humming to your core had you sucking in a breath, but what broke you were his words.

“Stay still, bubbles. Let me get you there.”

He licked you faster in a way that had you whimpering and tensing up like a coil about to spring. Every lap of his tongue increased your tension, pitched your moan, and stole your breath, to a point you thought you’d explode. You sat up and grabbed his hair, ecstatic. It was him with his face half buried in you, eating you, getting you there, calling you by your pet name like nothing changed.

That thought alone pushed you to the edge, and you hopped on the train. Steadily and surely, Jungkook would take you there, just like he promised. Just like you wished.

So you started moaning louder, half derailed, “Fuck, baby. Fuck, you’re so good.” You could barely breathe, but you wanted him to know how much you loved this. “Take me there, please, I’m—”

Your voice broke because you suddenly were cold. You were panting and shocked, but your first instinct was to look down at him and loosen up your grip on his hair.

“Are you okay?”

He faced you quietly, with your slick covering his nose, mouth, and chin while his digits dug into your hips. Your worry clouded your judgement, having your hand brush his cheek in search of an answer that only came when he stood up and turned away. Then, you blinked to reality and looked down and around. You were confused. Not because he stopped, but because he insisted on staying quiet and to himself.

You got up and were about to speak your mind when you saw that the towel had fallen to the ground. That gave you the impulse to walk up to him and look down shamelessly — he was so hard, he was pointing at you. You raised your eyes and found his on yours, darker than before. He was tense and angry, that was clear, but he was hard, having rubbed his hand over his face to clean your slick off him. But then, why was he licking his lips and his lip rings, where your taste was probably stronger?

You took a deep breath and placed your hands firmly on his shoulders, pushing him steadily. He let you, walking back until his calves hit the sofa. You tapped his shoulders once and he sat down. His hands were on your hips and started tracing circles absentmindedly, and you leaned closer to pet his hair. His sweet caresses were enough to soothe you, to become sure of something you weren't sure you had the right to be sure of. But it didn't matter — he chose the wrong night to be indecisive. You were willing to choose for you both.

You kissed his head before getting on your knees in between his legs. He gave you a dark cold stare and with anyone else you might have cowered, but not with him. You waited a moment with your hands over his legs, but he never gave you clear permission, incentive, or rejection. So you took the option that suited you best and leaned in.

You trailed your lips over his soft and built thighs, kneading the firmness with a whimper caught in your throat. You kissed closer and closer, releasing sighs left and right and paying little to no mind to what he would think of you for it. You both had always been like this: crazy for one another, praising and worshiping as quickly as you would use and abuse. You had never had another relationship like it, before or after, and to say you missed it would be an understatement.

But you weren’t going to sob over past mistakes right now. No, what mattered now was to not make a stupid mistake like not kissing, licking, and scratching every inch of him until he either begged or complained, or you lost it.

You moved ever so closer to his crotch but stopped by his balls first, giving them wide-tongued licks that had him sighing. You glanced up to see his eyes closed, with wet hair dripping down his shoulders; the first hint of relaxation from him. That’s it, you coed in your mind. Fuck, did you miss seeing him falling apart. You craved it and you’d make it happen.

You kept licking and kissing, and as you moved up his shaft, it occurred to you that it didn’t matter that you hadn’t cum. It didn’t matter that he had given up, or even why. You weren't opening your mouth around his tip and licking it with hunger because you wanted something in return.

You moaned as soon as his taste hit your buds, and your thoughts became a blur. Your head bobbed mindlessly, and you drooled all over him, using the expanse of your tongue on his tip, taking whatever you could no matter how because you fucking missed it. That taste, that hardness, the hand that came to grip your hair but remained light as a feather, until finally, you looked up. His eyebrows were knit in pleasure with his mouth agape, tongue peaking through, and licking his lip ring while grabbing your head in a firm yet loving gesture — that was it, the prize. He was finally relaxed as you bobbed your head and drooled all over him, and the perspective of making him weak exhilarated you in a way that had you going harder, firmer, stronger. You didn’t notice, but you were breathing in between his cock touching your throat, your cheeks stayed hollowed, and your hand accompanied your every move over his shaft while you played with his balls. When his precum invaded your mouth, all your thoughts went out the door.

You gripped his cock firmer and moaned all over it, adjusting your posture to focus even better. Fuck, did you want his taste in your mouth. You touched yourself to the thought of it before, of him, but now being there on your knees with his grunts finally adoring your ears, your focus was all on him. You could come later to the memory of that very moment, all he had to do was let go and shoot warm ropes of cum down your throat.

But he recoiled and guided your head away. You had no idea if he pulled your hair, but you knew he never asked you to stop. The only sounds out of his mouth were grunts of pleasure, and you had seen his face — he was on cloud nine. He liked it, he was weak for it, for you and the way you did it, so why?

You looked up, an arched eyebrow quizzically raised, but he had his bicep covering his eyes while his chest heaved up and down. You were done with him stripping away everything you wanted from you, so you got up and got on his lap with a knee on either side of him. You thought he might have shooed you away or told you to get off, but no. His hands went instantly to support your hips, and you were even more irked.

“Why?”

He opened his eyes and the stiffness was back to his pleasant features. That had you pouting with tears in your eyes. Maybe you could figure out why, but you didn’t care — you leaned forward and brushed his cheek gently. He brought you there, and he wasn’t rejecting you. It was time he made a decision.

“Why push me away?” You insisted, letting your nail graze his sweet cheek gently. He recognized that tone in your voice, and that was why he answered.

“I was about to cum.”

“So?”

He didn’t answer, his eyes only hardened, and you looked down at his erect cock between you. There were so many things you could say, and so many paths to choose from. You could get angry, whiny, blow him anyway, ride him, and you considered every option. But you kept reverting to that anger behind those beautiful dark eyes. And as you both faced each other, you knew why he was mad — because you hurt him the year before. Because what you were doing was maybe a source of conflict, it sure could have been for you as well if you didn’t still…

Well.

Your expression softened as you pressed your lips to his forehead, “Take it out on me.”

He didn’t move or respond, and you just dragged your lips soothingly over his skin in small peppered kisses.

“Please,” you whispered. “Take it all out on me. I want you to.” You dragged your nails up his neck, and he leaned his head forward. “I need you to.”

His hands gripped your waist as he seemed to hide in your chest, and you sat closer to him. You petted his beautifully longer hair, still, and sighed when he pressed your lower back to keep you close. You smiled and kissed his head, taking that as a yes. So you waited like that until he decided how he would do it.

Your answer came when he glued his mouth to your chest and started nibbling down until he caught a nipple. You didn’t hide your sigh — he was a tits kind of guy, and he always loved yours, worshiping them in every sense of the word. And you had always loved him for it, and for the way he could leave you a moaning mess with his attention exclusively there.

So you hissed and sighed, with his mouth, tongue, and teeth driving you insane. To return the favor, you reached down in between your bodies and found his rock-hard dick. Your spit hadn’t dried yet, so you jerked him off gently through your pitched moans.

You could feel him twitching in your hand. You knew he loved your tits and got lost in licking and biting them. You knew he got crazy when you played with him at the same time, playing with his weakness while truthfully wanting nothing more than for him to play with all of you.

So you leaned down by his ear. “Come on,” you whispered in a low tone. “Take it out on me. Do it.” You gripped him a bit harder, earning a stronger bite from him that had you instantly hissing and clenching around nothing. “I want to feel you.” Your hand never stopped, and he seemed to be listening to you — only his tongue was moving. “Hard. Deep. Fuck it all out on me.”

You buried your nose in his hair and waited, never stopping your hand on him. You preferred if he fucked you senseless, but even jerking him off would be nice if that was his mood.

But you doubted it was, and indeed, it wasn’t. He let go of your abused nipple and faced you for a second. He didn’t comment on anything you said, he only grabbed you firmly by the hips and stood up, taking you with him.

You gasped mutely and hugged him strongly, only to realize that he was carrying you without an ounce of effort. He was truly stronger, which could mean he would fuck you harder—

He dropped you on his bed, making you whimper, and your tits bounce around, then he moved away. You sat up, worried about him just leaving, but then you tilted your head. He was adjusting a full-body mirror that was purposefully facing another wall to show the bed. You saw your reflection on it and mused over why he had that mirror set like that and took the time to change it. 

He neared you while rolling a condom, and you looked at him, breath slowing with the perspective of what would happen now. He traced a hand down your hip, and you laid back, but he immediately gripped both your sides and turned you around. You puffed, half annoyed, half melting at being handled like that, and got on all fours for him. You thought he’d toy with you and you’d patiently wait for what you wanted most, but he didn’t. He instantly put his cock at your entrance, and you groaned, gripping the sheets with the desire burning through you.

“You want it?” His tone was quiet but sure, almost cold. His hand struck your ass, but you only gave him a gentle moan. “Get it then.”

You bit your lip and moved back, opening your mouth with the familiar stretch that had you curling your toes. You went slowly, thankful for his resistance that allowed his cock to brave more and more, inch by inch, until you were full. You knew he wasn’t totally in, and he reminded you by jerking his hips once until he bottomed out. You gave him a little whine and he chuckled.

“There. Didn’t think you had forgotten how I fucked you earlier, but I’ll remind you.”

He snapped his hips into yours, and you knew he wouldn’t be gentle, but you didn’t care. He was doing what you asked, finally connected to you, giving you the pleasure of your dreams. It didn’t matter if he was treating you roughly, you asked for it. You wanted it, you needed it. Him, his anger, anything he would give you.

“Look at you,” he grunted before gripping your ass better. “I haven’t even started.”

You opened your eyes and tilted your head to face him through the mirror. You gave zero fucks about how vulnerable you were, needy, greedy, whimpering, and begging for more even though you knew how much more could come. No, you looked at him. At his focused expression, telling you this wasn’t as easy as he made it seem. At his flexed abs, tense thighs, and buff biceps. At his hand on your ass, squeezing. At his eyes moving from yours to verify your position — not only if you looked good, but at your knees and elbows sliding. For your comfort. It had to be, right?

You were tucked in his grip, so when he went harder, you had nowhere to go. You took his hips slapping against you and moaned loudly, abandoned to the feeling that only he fucking you could tear out of you.

“Can’t take it?” His voice was mocking. “How’s that?” You couldn’t coherently answer. “Are you that desperate for a proper dicking?” 

“Wasn’t that what you did before?”

You barely got it out, but he heard you, not stopping for a second. “Clearly wasn’t enough. Your boyfriend must be doing a really sloppy job.”

His voice was tense. You wondered if bitterness was in the mix, but you were too high to think about it.

“No boyfriend. Maybe that’s the problem.”

His hand struck your ass so hard, you whimpered a cry. But in a second, he was rubbing that area and gripping you closer, fucking you harder. It made you see stars, and you couldn’t get enough.

“So whiny,” he grunted, “so needy.” 

You scoffed. He was the one fucking you as hard as possible.

“Do you always moan like that?” You felt his nails on your ass cheeks. “Any cock can get that noise out of you.”

You grinned, “No, only yours can.” You expected another slap, but it didn’t come. “Never met anyone who can fuck me like you.”

He smacked the other ass cheek harshly and gripped you so hard that the constant hit of his cock deep inside you almost short-circuited your brain.

“But you searched.”

He was speaking between gritted teeth, but you were in no condition to notice. “So did you. Fucked how many right here, on this bed?”

He smacked your ass again, but looking through the mirror, you could see he wasn’t just angry now. His eyes were closed as if in pain. But you were too riled up to stop.

“Looking for what? Any thigh cunt?” He was getting sloppy, and you couldn’t shut up. “Or did you really think anyone else could get you this desperate?” You fucked yourself on his cock against his rhythm, and you could swear he growled. But who cared, he was snapping his hips to yours again. “Why so quiet?” His hand striking your ass had you arching for him, but not quieting down. “Tell me. Do you cream yourself this easily with—”

He pulled your hair, forcing your back to arch and take him deeper. Your mouth opened, instantly melting in ways only he could cause, until you shivered when you felt him near your ear.

“No.” You opened your eyes in his silence to find him looking at you through the mirror. If your opened mouth spelled how deep he was buried inside you, then his eyes told of how desperate he was. “Only you do this to me. Only you drive me this fucking crazy.”

He connected his nose to your shoulder despite ramming into you wildly, and grunted together with you. You couldn’t stifle your moans, your curses, or your prayers. But you yelped when suddenly he let you go and rolled you over. He got between your legs and immediately slid inside, earning a sigh from you and a plea.

He pulled your legs over his shoulders and leaned down over you, seeing your eyes widen. You extended your hands, what for you weren’t certain, but he grabbed them and pressed them to the mattress on either side of your head.

His hips restarted their rocking and you moaned desperately. You squirmed, and moaned, and said his name, and begged, and squeezed his hands, and all the while he never stopped fucking you. He was sweating, it was dripping over you, but you couldn’t care. All that mattered was that he was as deep as possible inside you, torturing you with how good it felt, and you were there for it. Loving every moment.

“Fuck— You’re so deep—”

“You like it?”

His tone was gentle, almost as if he wished for nothing but to please you. You were lost. You wished for nothing else but him.

“Yes— Yes—”

You were desperate, at the edge of your emotions with tears in your eyes, and he saw it. “Tell me what you want.”

“You!” Your answer was instantaneous, at the end of a moan. “You, fuck, please, you, just you—”

“I’m here.”

You gripped his hands and anxiety crossed your features for a moment, “Please.”

He kissed you, relenting his rhythm, only to whisper to your lips, “I’m here, bubbles.”

You opened your teary eyes to look at him, and your heart shook. His eyes were sweet despite the pleasure and effort mingling in his features. He was looking at you, really looking, really seeing you, and he was there. He wasn’t taking it out on you anymore, he was really with you, like he once was. 

You didn’t want to delude yourself, but the way he continued, staying close to your face to peck your lips and your cheeks, was swelling your heart too much to be contained. You moved with him, lulled by that movement you longed for too long. That thought alone got you on the right tangent, and you made sure to tell him through moans, looks, and your hands in his. He nuzzled you, sweat dripping down, and answered every plea and moan with signs of his own pleasure.

You let it grow inside you until you knew you couldn’t be contained, and neither did you want it to. You opened your mouth to tell him and nothing came out, but he got it.

“Cum with me.”

He grunted his words before kissing you, and you whimpered and moaned your overwhelming pleasure without breaking away. He groaned into your mouth and pressed your lips firmly when you were both done, panting, sweaty, and spent.

You didn’t think about what would happen after that; truthfully, you wished time would stop. For a moment you believed it could be true — he stayed inside you with his mouth on your neck, just suckling as you enjoyed his weight over you. You were drifting away, so utterly relaxed, happy, and fulfilled.

Until he pulled away and your heart cracked.

You couldn’t open your eyes immediately, you weren’t ready to face it again, not after the way you were just together. But when you finally opened your eyes, you were surprised.

Jungkook looked tired and sleepy, but that was it. He was extending his hand for you and you grabbed it. He pulled you up and dragged you to the bathroom, pointing at the toilet and turning to handle the condom. You peed, but your mind latched onto nothing, you didn’t want to ruin that bliss.

He took your hand again and pulled you back to bed, opening the sheets before pushing you gently with an arm around your waist. You sighed and leaned back into him. He held you into his chest as he covered you both with a sheet, and you could swear that it was all a dream. All of it.

[Next part>]

[silvergreenseraphim]

Sephiroth: It takes a strong heart to control a superior body. A strong heart is a heart that does not hesitate. An unshakeable heart, an unwavering heart, a ruthless heart…

Sephiroth: Soldiers who put emotions first are second-rate. No, I should say they are old-fashioned. In that case, there is no point in them existing.

Sephiroth: This is a battlefield. Killing the enemy is the only way to survive!!

Glenn: You’re right. This is a battlefield. There is no choice but to live or die.

Glenn: But Sephiroth, you don’t have anything to prove anymore. You are strong enough. So be kind. That takes strength.

Glenn: Sephiroth….just a little is enough….

Sephiroth:….I’m not a modified human…

Glenn: I know. I’m sorry.

Sephiroth:…..this isn’t what I wanted to be….

—

(A Direct translation of Sephiroth’s speech about the battlefield and Glenn’s response in chapter 5 of The First Soldier.)

Note:

“Cyborg” in the official English translation refers to the side of Sephiroth that is unnaturally modified. When Sephiroth denies that he is a cyborg (modified), he says specifically that it was never what he wanted. He subconsciously expresses a sorrowful longing to never have been enhanced or tampered with inside the womb. This unnatural invasion of his pre-born body led to his further modifications as a child raised by Shinra and Hojo. A combination of this treatment allowed him to wield superior strength.

Before Nibelheim. Sephiroth does not know that this enhancement to his body was something done to him before his birth, but he knows he is different and special in some way.

In this chapter, we learn at last that it was not what he wanted to be. It is possible by this point that Sephiroth believes his own denial of being modified. He can accept mako treatments and he describes his own training, but the secret of his birth is still that; a secret. He may be unaware that his body was ever changed. For all he knows, he was born with special abilities and other SOLDIERs are modified to mimic his talents. This is true if we consider it. Sephiroth was the only SOLDIER that was “perfect” from birth. His strength is not to be compared with.

All of this aside, the point stays firm. Sephiroth never wanted to be the special creature he is. He did not want to be different. This is why when he discovers this difference that he loathes was not a natural deviation beyond anyone’s control, but a production of Shinra, his hatred for the company explodes. They forced that difference upon him and took away his life. They took away his chances to be a normal human. On top of that, they lied to him about it for his entire life. It was the worst betrayal Sephiroth could fathom.