#Top 10 Best Things About WWE

[popculturevault]

[ipostwhatiwant1202]

More Headcanons: Brother Edition

• leo and raph are a lot closer emotionally than they seem. they can read each other like it's literally nothing

• donnie and mikey are the younger two so they often bond whenever raph and leo are in to it. they seek each other for comfort even in to their late teens and adulthood years

• raph and mikey are extremely close emotionally and relationship wise. they're each other's first best friend

• donnie and leo are close relationship wise but not real emotionally. they can talk to each other about anything and not dwell on it

• mikey and leo have the typical big bro/little bro relationship. it's clear to the other two that leo tries to keep mikey out of harms way the most..leo will take that to the grave

• donnie and raph are the middle children but donnie's little broisms come out whenever he wants raph to do something for him/with him

• raph was actually the smallest until puberty

• mikey knows just what to say to make each of his brothers laugh, even when mad

• leo has a sharp tongue and has always made it everyone's problem

• donnie leaves the empty boxes of food in the fridge and cupboard

• they all shared a bed until they hit puberty and sometimes end up piled on top of each other if they're watching a movie

• affectionate head pats/shoves

• "donnie if you don't knock it off with your middle child nonsense!" (raph at some point)

• mikey likes to sit with donnie in his lab sometimes when he has nightmares cause the noises are calming

• don't trust leo and raph alone in the kitchen together...just don't.

• "raph! sensei said you have to let me use your gameboy!" (10 year old mikey)

• donnie was, and still is, the king of talking himself out of trouble

• leo's burps put mikey to shame

• raph seeks leo's comfort whenever he's feeling sad or if he can't sleep

• splinter made a chore list when they were little and they still use it to this day...smelly markers (iykyk) and all

• they will all only drink out of the kid's apple juice boxes

• "leo...why does the ceiling have a hole in it? and what happened to the toaster?" (donnie probably)

• they have prank wars and no one wins cause splinter is old and tired (and has had enough)

• they still play fight. not sparring, no no, the typical sibling wwe matches

• leo does the "cause im older and i said so" any chance he gets

• raph does wet willies to everyone except splinter

• donnie gets away with almost everything cause middle child

• all mikey has to do is cry and he gets his way with his brothers

• "mikey, why is there an ostrich in the living room and how did you get it here?" (definitely leo)

• they eat dinner together every night

• leo and raph could be yelling their heads off at each other, but if someone else (besides donnie or mikey) were to start insulting the other, the fight is put on hold cause how dare you-

• donnie and mikey are limited on their sugar in take cause they are very out of control when they've eaten nothing but pure sugary foods

• splinter used to make them yell things they liked about each other during training and make them calmly state things they disliked about each other during meditation to teach them how to communicate

• mikey is the only one allowed to spontaneously hug raph

• donnie controls the wifi and makes sure everyone is aware of his power

• raph is the best listener when his brothers need him

• leo is everyone's biggest supporter in literally everything

• they have deep emotional bonds and trust each other with their lives. they know they can go to each other about anything and everything no matter what

[rainmacaroni]

Feud of the Year

They've consistently told their story for about 10 months now - even while Punk was injured - without ever losing any momentum , getting stale and overstaying their welcome

Match of the Year

In retrospect , while they more than earned and deserved to have been the Main Event , I think it's great that they had went on first - fresh crowd of course , plus they didn't have to worry about repeating any similar spots from previous matches , or going way over their time limit Regardless , no match on that night after theirs ever even came close to being a fraction comparable

At this point , what else is there left now to say against CM Punk ? He's very quickly become a main face of the RAW brand His segments have consistently gotten the highest ratings - as he can still cut some of the best and believable promos out there He's one of if not the best storyteller in all of wrestling - I mean , which other wrestler out there can tell such a compelling and engaging story with a Taylor Swift friendship bracelet of all things ? His merch has consistently been top sellers and Number 1s He's been a great help to Shawn Michaels ; a locker room leader and exemplar for the young and upcoming talent over there at NXT He's famously said that he's not here to make any friends - he's here to make money Ha , and yet , he's unironically made a lot of friends - I would have never expected him to become such good friends with Rhea Ripley & Damien Priest , etc. - even Triple H And of course , he has made a ton of money as well And now , all he had to do was deliver an all-time classic with Drew - which they did and more - so much so that they even revitalized such a dead wrestling concept that for so many years heretofore was Hell in a Cell You couldn't have asked for a more genuinely , perfect ending to their trilogy CM Punk has yet again proven that he can still be truly called The Best in the World And I hope that he'll do it all once again when he finally , actually starts his feud with Seth Drew has set the bar pretty high though - I think Seth can reach it - and maybe even match it - if he of course keeps to being serious and drops his Joker like character - however , he can still be his flamboyant self in ways and moments that it would make sense to As Punk is rightfully taking some time off now - we'll just have to wait and see until then ~ And , ha , hopefully during his hiatus , I don't fully lose my interest in the WWE - since for me , it's at its very best when Punk is in the direct mix of things

[midwestmade29]

Christian Cage Request 🥰

To anonymous: This was such a sweet idea! I hope what I wrote matches what you had in mind. Enjoy 🖤

Original Anonymous Request: "Can I request a Christian Cage x Female!Reader where the reader is Christian’s wife since he first started with WWE (Basically as if he married the reader when he did instead of his ex wife) and he comes home from being on the road with AEW to his wife, who’s heavily pregnant and has been having some slight complications, curled up in bed with their daughter, Isla, who’s cuddling with her mom because she knows she hasn’t been feeling the best and Christian can’t help but melt at the sight of his girls. He ends up taking a few weeks off to tend to his girls and make sure his love is okay?"

Disclaimers: None really! This story is fluff. It does cover pregnancy and high blood pressure but that’s it. Read at your own discretion.

Word count: 1,096

Divider by: @saradika-graphics

Braxton hicks: false contractions

Paternity leave: The time off a new father is given after the birth of his baby.

Your 20-year wedding anniversary was rapidly approaching, along with the birth of your 2nd child! A lot has happened during the last 20 years, first meeting Christian when he was working for WWE, getting married and eventually having your daughter Isla, and Christian being forced into retirement due to his injuries he sustained in the ring. Not every moment was good, but you worked together to get through the challenging times. Seeing Christian as a dad was the best thing in the world, Isla had him wrapped around her little finger! Ever since Isla could talk, she had always begged for a little brother or sister. Time marched on and she remained an only child- until now! When you and Christian saw the positive pregnancy test, both of you were shocked! Even though the timing is a little off since Isla is almost 10 years old now and with Christian officially coming out of retirement to wrestle again, you just knew everything would work out somehow!

Christian’s travel schedule with AEW was hard to adjust to at first since you and Isla were so used to having him home every day. He often missed out on the big and little things that were going on with you and Isla, which made being a part even more difficult. Phone calls, text messages and Facetime helped ease the sting of his absence, but nothing could compare to the feeling of being snuggled up with him in bed or the sound of laughter echoing through the house as him and Isla played together! Lately his popularity amongst the fans had skyrocketed which put him in high demand for being on TV more often. Christian was on the road more than he was at home now! The stress of being as pregnant are you are along with trying to take care of Isla on your own was starting to wear on you. At your most recent doctor’s appointment, your blood pressure was elevated and was most likely caused from the anxiety you were feeling about Christian leaving tomorrow for 2 weeks. On top of your high blood pressure, your anxiety made you as nauseous as you were during your first trimester! Your doctor informed you that she was going to be keeping a close eye on you, and if your blood pressure didn’t lower within the next week, you would be given medicine or placed on bed rest. You didn’t care for either of those options, so you promised her that you would do your best to lower your stress!

Isla was such a trooper while Christian was gone! She always helped around the house and very rarely complained about it. Her caring and nurturing soul shinned through every time she asked if there was something she could get you or do for you. She always tried to make you laugh or offer you a hug when she could tell you needed it the most. One of her favorite things to do at bedtime is to snuggle up next to you and rest her head on your belly. She loved feeling the baby move and kick! Isla kept one of your ultrasound pictures on her nightstand and you often caught her staring at it instead of trying to fall asleep. It made your heart happy seeing her so excited about the baby, and you just knew she was going to be the best big sister ever!

During your Facetime call with Christian, you informed him about the good report your doctor had given you earlier in the day! “She said that my blood pressure is exactly where it should be. No medicine or bed rest for me! I told the doctor that my nausea hasn’t been as frequent as it was, but she did give me some over the counter medicine suggestions in case it starts up again. All in all, the appointment went great, and mom and baby are healthy!” you explained. Christian’s smile was contagious, and his words were heartfelt when he spoke, “That’s wonderful news baby! I’m so glad that you’re feeling better. I miss you and Isla like crazy! Hopefully the rest of this road trip goes by quickly so I can come home to my girls!” What Christian didn’t tell you during your conversation was that Tony Kahn informed him that they had everything they needed from him so he could go home a few days early! The very next night when you had finished reading a book with Isla, both of you had fallen asleep in her bed. It had been a little bit of a rough day since your feet and ankles were swollen and you had a headache you just couldn’t shake. When Christian walked into Isla’s bedroom, he saw both of his girls snuggled up together in a sea of various stuffed animals. You still had the book open on your chest and Isla had her hand on your belly. He made sure to take a picture of the sweet moment before he woke both of you up and surprised you.

The next couple of weeks were filled with several ups and downs regarding your pregnancy. You had caught the flu leaving you dehydrated which led to you being admitted into the hospital for a couple of days. Thankfully you felt much better afterwards, but that good feeling didn’t last very long. You started having minor contractions late one night, so Christian called your doctor. She explained what to look for if they continued, but ultimately determined they were just Braxton hicks. Because you were so close to the end of your pregnancy, Christian started his paternity leave early! He took the next several weeks off so he could be home and make sure his girls were taken care of. He waited on you hand and foot and took care of everything around the house. Isla and Christian were the dream team whenever they worked together to complete a task, their love for each other made your heart swell! He embraced homework duty, went with you to all your remaining doctor appointments, ran all the errands, went out late at night to get you whatever you were craving, and even took care of everything during Isla’s sleepover she had with her friends. In the end, it was a good thing Christian had taken time off from AEW because your baby was born within the first week of him being home. Your beautiful and healthy baby boy was born on your 20th wedding anniversary, the perfect gift to celebrate such a milestone!

[phantasmiac]

pro wrestler!touya au where he’s the oldest son of the todoroki ring dynasty

cw/tw: none except for one nsfw mention (nothing detailed) and a fem!reader

wc: 0.9k

a/n: i need everyone who knows their wwe to know that 1) i am imagining endeavor as the undertaker and 2) the dabi x reader in this is highly inspired by cm punk and aj lee. do with that what you will xx

touya who has one of the most anticipated wrestling debuts of all time at 19 years old, all because he’s the son of pro wrestling legends, rei and endeavor. he’s an instant hit because of his badass persona and alt ring attire (see: jeff hardy), but most notably for his “daredevil” style of wrestling: crazy stunts with tables, ladders, chairs, etc., lots of high flying maneuvers; but he also falls under the brawler category. it all makes up for not being a “powerhouse��� wrestler (the ones who are huge and can lift a ton) like his old man or his up and coming little brother natsu. he definitely has some metal entrance song like the ones used in the 2000s (imagine him walking out to metalingus 😫).

touya hates being linked to his parents, and really would have preferred if his siblings hadn’t followed him into the industry — but still hypes up them up during any out of character interviews and supports them as best he can. especially fuyumi bc he knows the women in the industry don’t get the credit they deserve 😡 gives great advice and won’t turn them down if they ask to train with him. but he downright refuses to be involved in any family storylines, he thinks it’s super corny. doesn’t mind being put in real matches against them or tag teaming, just as long as it doesn’t become a whole thing.

touya most often takes on the heel role (aka the bad guy role), but doesn’t mind occasionally acting as a tweener (the anti-hero). his siblings are all faces (good guys). he’s perfect for the role because he’s amazing on a microphone. even though the storylines are planned, all of his segments or promos are written by him and contain a lot of great improv, and they’re always considered iconic by fans, bound to be on a “top 10 wrestling promos of all time” list. he’s just the bad guy you can’t help but root for, even if you’re a fan of his opponent. everyone hates that they love him! on the other hand it kinda sucks because his dad was also a popular heel during his career, so he gets a lot of comparisons.

backstage and out of character, touya is actually a super chill guy. he’s always down to do things for charity, whether it be matches or meeting fans. never says no to a picture or an autograph (unless you’re a dick about it) and has a soft spot for kid fans. you’ll most often find him with his head down listening to music in the locker room, hyping himself up before it’s time to head out to the ring. probably has beef with some other people on the roster because he comes off as arrogant (he’s just reserved and quiet!) and because of his family background. it makes him laugh because he’s really unbothered at the end of the day.

you’re put into a storyline with him where you’re supposed to act as his love interest, and fans are always commenting on how much chemistry you share. the fans eat it up because you’re the first female wrestler touya has ever interacted with both in and out of the ring. most fans thinks you both are probably just really good at acting; but the secret to your chemistry is the hot quickie you have backstage before every segment. you really do start off as coworkers at the beginning, and then friends with benefits, but as the storyline progresses and you’re forced to constantly work and spend time together he really starts to fall for you hard. needless to say you become a power couple pretty quickly and touya can’t even bring himself to be angry at the fact that you’re becoming the next generation rei and endeavor. because he loves and respects you so much 🥹 both as a fellow wrestler and a person.

you’re on the road together 24/7 and touya loves it because he gets to spend every day with his best friend! he loves to train with you, gets so very proud when he sees you pull out a move you’d practiced with him during an actual live match! he’s so funny bc he’s been in this industry for so long and understands that most rivalries aren’t real, but always ends up having animosity towards your opponents in real life 😭 especially if you got injured fighting against them, even if it was a complete accident. you sew and patch up a lot of his attire for him, so he always feels like he has a part of you with him when he goes out there. if you wear any of his siblings merch instead of his he’ll have a pout etched on his face for as long as it takes him to get over it. if your storyline eventually comes to an end he will adamantly refuse to do another romantic one with anyone else.

at the beginning of his career he expected to be one of those wrestlers who’s still in the game in their 50s. but by the time he’s in his mid 30s and you guys are over a decade into your relationship and a couple of years into your marriage, he decides he wants to settle down and have a family with you. so he ends up retiring and fans are heartbroken, but not angry because touya released the sweetest retirement message and they’re so happy for you two 🥰 he does make surprise comebacks once in awhile post retirement, can’t completely stay away from the ring. and now he’s entirely shameless about supporting his siblings. makes your kids become their super fans. sometimes he shows up to events to support them as an audience member, with his babies on his shoulders. he’s just living his peaceful little life knowing that he was able to have a successful career and retired as a legend.

★ a/n pt ii: are there any other dabi stans who had a hardcore wwe phase, is that a subgenre of dabi stan or does the population just consist of me

[aleisters]

Would it be alright to get some recommendations on how to get into wrestling? I'm intrigued by your posting but I also have no idea where to start do I just search "most homoerotic wrestling" and go from there?

i will do my best to provide a baby starter guide … this is kind of how i got into things, but streamlined so that you dear reader can figure out what you want out of life, instead of fucking around consistently like i did

“isn’t wrestling silly and fake?”

yes. however, the unreality of wrestling and the blend between what’s real, what’s staged, and the genuine athleticism of the wrestlers makes for incredible long-term, partly improvised narratives that can happen nowhere else. you’re not watching a sports show — you’re watching a mix of theatre and gymnastics.

“is wrestling for me?”

suggestion: watch supereyepatchwolf’s video , “professional wrestling is stupid and beautiful and i love it”. it’s meant to convey the wonder and fun and joy of this silly silly thing to people who are not into wrestling or don’t understand it. if you’re still curious about wrestling when you’re done, it’s time to start watching for real.

“ok, i’m still curious. now what?”

fuck it, we ball. the beauty of wrestling is that whilst there are long term narratives, all the individual matches need to convey is the struggle of that moment. whether it’s a long term feud coming to a head, friends who have to compete or have turned on each other, someone struggling to the top of a championship mountain, or a challenger coming in to try and dethrone a champion - all that matters will be conveyed to you by the tone of the match and the commentators. so you can just pick up anywhere and dive right in. but across dozens of promotions, where do you start?

well, for you i’ll do what i did, which is pick on all elite wrestling (aew). they’re not better or worse than anyone else, but bluntly for me i think a lot of the wrestlers there are cute and they’re easy for me to find. here are a few matches off the top of my head, not in any particular order. i list their names and then what show you can find the match on. most of these can be found on the internet archive, if not all.

MJF vs CM PUNK (Revolution 2022) — dog collar match. they’re collared and chained to each other. mjf hits cm punk over the back with the chain and it leaves very real, visible marks. extremely sexy if you’re into that sort of thing.

DARBY ALLIN vs JON MOXLEY (Dynamite 08/05/2020) — i’ll be real this one awakened something in me it’s just very. um. it’s just very. umm. uhhh. 😓

DARBY ALLIN & STING vs TEAM TAZ (Revolution 2021) — this is fun because it’s filmed in a warehouse location and more cinematically. it’s goofy, but has some intense stunts too. i love this match. bonus points because sting literally picks darby up and throws him.

BRYAN DANIELSON vs KAZUCHIKA OKADA (Forbidden Door 2023) — so fair warning, bryan breaks his arm for real in this match. you can’t really tell except for how he stops using his right arm for the last 10-15 mins of the match, but i love this match. bryan and okada are just both great and very intense. (btw okada broke bryan’s orbital socket last month, please help)

MJF vs KENNY OMEGA (Collision 28/10/2023) i wanted a kenny match on this list and this one is recent but great, in part because of the respect the two men show each other, rather than being an outright feud. my heart grows three sizes whenever matches end in a cuddle.

i also recommend AEW ALL IN 2023, which was a ppv at wembley and literally every match is incredible and a banger. fucking rules.

“i watched those and they sucked!”

i dunno man try wwe or npjw or gcw idk or maybe you just don’t like wrestling

“i watched those and they RULED!”

congrats! now look into aew’s weekly shows or their numerous PPV shows, and start looking at shows from other promotions like wwe, njpw, and gcw! search the names of wrestlers you enjoyed to find more matches that they’re in! be free, and let the half naked sweaty men consume your brain 💜

i hope this helped 🥹

[wrestlingisfake]

G1 B Block finals preview

Jeff Cobb (5-3, 10 points) vs. Yota Tsuji (4-4, 8 points) - Cobb is the NJPW World television champion, but the title isn't on the line during this tournament.

Cobb needs a win or a draw to clinch a spot in the top three, whereby he would advance to the knockout stage. If he loses, he and Tsuji will both be at ten points, and it's possible that as many as four other wrestlers will join them in a giant tie. Those tie scenarios are pretty lousy for Jeff. If he loses here, the best he can hope for is if Hirooki Goto wins, and Konosuke Takeshita and David Finlay both win/draw. That would set up a three-way deadlock for third place, where Tsuji, Cobb, and Goto are 1-1 against each other. That sort of thing never actually happens in these tournaments, though, so for all intents and purposes, Cobb can't afford to lose.

Tsuji is in a must-win situation; a draw won't help him. Even if he wins, though, he's at the mercy of the tiebreakers. He'll be in good shape as long as Goto fails to reach ten points. If Goto wins, though, Tsuji's best path is if Ren Narita wins/draws, and David Finlay loses.

There's no specific personal issue between these two. However, at the start of the tournament Cobb was bellyaching about all the talk of a new generation taking over, and Tsuji is clearly at the forefront of that talk. So now Cobb needs to put up or shut up, against the most imposing of the Reiwa Musketeers. I think both guys are cool, so as long as I get a good fight I suppose I don't care which one wins. But realistically, New Japan isn't going to build the next decade around Cobb. Tsuji is the future, so we might as well hurry up and get there.

Ren Narita (5-3, 10 points) vs. Konosuke Takeshita (4-4, 8 points) - Like Cobb, Narita needs a win or a draw to clinch a spot in the top three. If he stays at ten points, he'll need Goto to win and Finlay to win/draw, but that will only set up deadlock ties that may not do him any good.

Takeshita can clinch a berth if he wins and Goto doesn't win. If they both win, however, Takeshita's best path is if Finlay wins/draws and Cobb loses.

I had been expecting this to be a matchup of two ruthless heels. But throughout the tournament, Takeshita has been acting like a babyface, belying the ruthless attitude he has in AEW under the tutelage of Don Callis. Thing is, heel Takeshita might be able to outmanuever Narita's cheating, but a babyface Takeshita is going to fall for every old trick just like every other babyface. I'm not thrilled to predict Narita as the winner here, but I suppose if we have to have one House of Torture guy in the knockout stage, I'd prefer him over EVIL.

David Finlay (5-3, 10 points) vs. El Phantasmo (3-5, 6 points) - Finlay's IWGP global title is not on the line during this tournament. In singles matches, these two are tied at one win apiece.

Finlay can clinch a berth with either a win or a draw. Otherwise, his destiny (like so many others) lies in the hands of Hirooki Goto. If Goto fails to win against Henare, then Finlay clinches no matter what happens in this match. On the other hand, if Goto wins his match, then Finlay can't advance without more help; he'll need Narita to lose, and to avoid a deadlock he'll want Cobb to win or draw.

For ELP, the tournament is already over. The best he can do is fight for pride. You can say that about anybody who's mathematically eliminated, but in this case it means more, given how depressed Phantasmo was at the start. After Finlay kicked him out of Bullet Club in 2023, ELP found new purpose with the Guerillas of Destiny, but in 2024 everybody else in that stable left New Japan to go to WWE. Now Phantasmo has gotten out of that funk and regained his fighting spirit...just in time to face his archnemesis.

Simply beating Finlay would be a big moral victory for Phantasmo, and potentially spoiling his G1 would be even better. But if ELP gets a win tonight, there's a good chance he'll be in line for a global title shot, which would really turn things around for him. Personally I think that's a more interesting outcome than Finlay advancing out of the block, but I'm not very certain it'll happen. Anyway, I'm rooting for Phantasmo.

Hirooki Goto (4-4, 8 points) vs. HENARE (3-5, 6 points) - Henare is the NEVER champion, but the gold isn't at stake here. Since Henare is mathematically eliminated, his primary motivation is to score his first-ever singles win against one of the guys he reveres as the embodiment of fighting spirit.

Of the six wrestlers who are still alive in this block, Goto has the most tiebreaker wins over them, with three. That gives him the advantage, or at least a deadlock, in every potential tie scenario. But he won't be in those scenarios unless he wins this match. And those scenarios won't matter if Cobb, Finlay, and Narita each clinch a berth at 11 or 12 points. Goto needs at least one of those three to lose--preferably Finlay, to avoid deadlocked ties.

Heading into this tournament, I was surprised Goto was the one aging veteran that wasn't put out to pasture--even his tag team partner YOSHI-HASHI didn't make the cut. So I wasn't expecting him to do well, but he's turned a lot of heads with his performance. If he makes it through I think a lot of people will be happy for him. But for me, Goto's been the Charlie Brown of this promotion since I got here, and I just can't work up any enthusiasm for a big comeback. My man is Henare, and I need him to maul Goto like a bear. Just give me this one thing, Gedo, please.

Shingo Takagi & Tetsuya Naito & BUSHI vs. Great-O-Khan & Callum Newman & Francesco Akira - This is a preview of Takagi vs. Khan in the quarterfinals tomorrow. Interestingly, both of them scored big wins over the world champion, Naito, during the block matches. Since they can't both win the G1, I'll be curious to see if either of them decide to chase the world title on the next tour. As for this match, it's basically filler, and Akira or (more likely) Bushi will drop the fall.

Shota Umino & Tomoaki Honma vs. EVIL & Dick Togo - On August 12, Umino handed Evil the loss that finally knocked him out of the tournament. I assume Evil wants revenge. A major factor in the match was Hiroshi Tanahashi running in to counter House of Torture's interference, so it feels like an Evil-Tana program is being set up. I doubt this match will advance the plot very much. Honma will probably lose here.

SANADA & TAKA Michinoku vs. Gabe Kidd & Jake Lee - Sanada, Kidd, and Lee are all out of the tournament and waiting for the next chapters of their respective stories. I suppose Kidd could start some shit with Sanada, but he's got beefs with so many wrestlers it's hard to say which will be his next challenger for the STRONG title. Michinoku should lose here.

Oleg Boltin & Toru Yano vs. Katsuya Murashima & Shoma Kato - Boltin was originally scheduled for a block match tonight against Yuya Uemura, but that was canceled when Yuya suffered an injury on August 10th. It's a real shame, since Uemura had a decent chance to advance out of the block with a win, and I was looking forward to seeing if he could go all the way. In any case, Boltin is finished with the tournament at four wins and five losses, which isn't bad for his first try. This should be a simple squash match for him and Yano; Murashima and Kato have no chance of winning.

[toldyaimaslut759110101698901kk]

Bed with myself? Nothing but Undressed #groundzero KKK 3rd state of mind && also "Try With Me"

The KW job in a master lock galla or however it's spelled.! No question about it...the rumor continues. No, to remember. That's tricky and I'm only a U GAY HOLE because of a "dick" "🤥" is that what it looks like in the light? 👖 Jail house rock THE BLOODS 🔗 lame while Twitter goes crypt or just HOLLA

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Sara Sara Sara Sara CNN episode. 👿 Ch' il d LEST. mow, they did. Office affair 💪😛🏢 🥂 33$ ⭕ e 👁️ e 👁️ oooooo 🌈 go for a w.a.c. back to school? Did that HOOP LOVERS METHOD 😇 maintain walking in beauty video as my angelic voice. All girl power to make everyone feel worth it. Briefly SARY just got her mushroom 🍄 tree 🌴🪞 richardsNDN and ease more el duh. So what's the trip? Mom and Adam, going to the next WWE show 2022

As for dancing with the stars? #gotmilk semi closer 333 at RARE MOST RECENT 333 right men 🗝️ will sir or Sir fit in "blank space"? That's my name faded, extending the bad wish with power to Miss USA was so lost but now we had nuu nuu because I saw the light from Kenya. Now who wants to buy me a drink for the best love song? Ch' hung lee (TA) slave 🥈🪙 underwear 🩲 my gay hole ⛳ he reached. A coral attire for the match #leftovers thug plex test BET congrats day from the enforcement team extremely played tho by W.W.E. through this so why am I okay in a debate? The movie trauma and ALL GOOD PEOPLE 🍋toxic🍋metal. #crystalLight dates counted BEYONCE CONCERT 🥅 #INDOORS vs 🪛🧨 outdoors sock her "" my fate is in their hands. Remixed for the stars and studs by bARbie boY BoTtoM mE common ground as Kelly Kelly 'material' to be 'come correct' is the la fortune golf course so I'll be thankful again. Stayed on track being mindful. Soul is trauma and events are Body. But what's that? I've heard traumatic events before thank you ,, the boys 💗 btw Bad Things done 5 gun tweet. I'm also being hacked lead in top secret. Is my family Kardashian strong? Tbc

[d2kvirus]

26/1/24 Fact or Fiction

Statement #1: Bayley will win the 2024 women’s Royal Rumble. FACT - It makes perfect sense from a storyline standpoint to have Bayley vs Iyo at WM, and given the Rumble and MITB are effectively treated as ersatz titles these days it also fits to have Bayley get a clean sweep of all women's titles, Rumble and MITB

Statement #2: You spell battle royale with an “e”. FICTION - Only when talking about that Japanese film given that's, you know, the title and everything

Statement #3: There should be a Tag Team Royal Rumble match. FICTION - Mainly as it will be a logistical nightmare to a match where the only finish would be one babyface Ricky Mortoning their way through one or two heel tag teams in the final four

Statement #4: For Cody Rhodes to “finish the story” he must defeat Roman Reigns for the WWE Title in a WrestleMania main event. FACT - If he wins the title from Not Reigns that would be a consolation prize at best, and if he's not even in a title match at WM then he's a punchline for the remainder of his time there

Statement #5: You will consume alcohol while watching this year’s Royal Rumble match. FICTION - One time a few years back my local pub showed the Rumble live. Give the show started at 1am, and that was the 2013 Rumble where the booking went into full "Sod you, you're getting Rock vs Cena II" mode, it was not fun walking home at 4am with a few beers in me while being PO'd that the last two matches of the show were effectively Vince sticking his middle finger up at his audience. But he's stuck worse things in worse places, from what I hear...

Statement #6: Draymond Green has a WWE career waiting for him after he retires from the NBA. FICTION - Given he's a dead ringer for Ledley King, Tottenham will surely ask him if he can play centre back as that couldn't be worse than Eric Dier

Statement #7: You recognize The Big Show as the real winner of the 2000 Royal Rumble match. FACT - Because he did. At least Cena & Batista's botch managed to work out in such a way it was obvious the booking was telling the fans to ignore the evidence of their eyes and their ears

Statement #8: An “Even Greater” Royal Rumble with 60 entrants would be fun. FICTION - The 40-man Rumble was pretty bad, so adding 50% more entrants to that would be as terrible as me beginning this response and forgetting that one time they did a 50-man Rumble...

Statement #9: Jinder Mahal’s WWE championship run was underrated. FICTION - It wasn't even rated due to it being the booking equivalent of The Great Molasses Flood of 1919: slow, painful, and horrible to witness

Statement #10: Tony Khan’s tweets are fun. FICTION - While the whole "I can't support AEW as the owner is a bit cringe on Twitter" discourse is almost entirely performative garbage from garbage performers on forums and social media alike, Tony really needs somebody hovering over him to keep him from making the story about him instead of AEW

Statement #11: Santino Marella’s “I wasn’t ready!” elimination from 2009 Rumble match is the funniest moment in Royal Rumble history. FICTION - The ending of the 2005 Rumble is best for its unintended hilarity, not least due to Vince's comedic tumble as he realises he blew out both quads and having to sit there like a toddler giving instructions

Statement #12: You are more interested in what Nic Nemeth does post-WWE than Matt Riddle.  FICTION - If Nemeth bet on himself when his contract was up in the mid-2010s I certainly would have been interested in what he had to offer, but after a decade of forgetting he was still employed at various points I'm far less interested, so Riddle wins by default

Statement #13: Here’s a good idea, a TLC Royal Rumble: entrants can be eliminated by going over the top OR by being put through a table, chairs are ladders are legal, and after all 30 entrants have entered then the remaining wrestlers are able to go after a WrestleMania main event contract hanging above the ring. FICTION - I'm sure that a table battle royal exists somewhere, but there's two obvious problems with using tables for eliminations: the table not breaking, or the table breaking when it's not supposed to. Either way, any stip involving something which can't follow booking instructions like tables, glass or Koji Kitao is destined to have a botched finish sooner or later

Statement #14: In pro-wrestling, a good punch is better than a good chop.  FICTION - Not that I'm against a good worked punch, but what puts a chop over the top for me is the sound when somebody who can really lay them in, be it Gunther or Go Shiozaki or Pentagon Jr

Statement #15: In the next 20 years, someone will break Stone Cold Steve Austin’s record of 3 Royal Rumble match wins. FICTION - Most of the men on two wins have already retired so if they have (for the sake of argument) Cody winning four in a row it will be forced as hell just to create a record for the sake of creating a record - which is why I can't see them trying that with the women's Rumble, given that match is so young that it would look especially obvious if they have Bianca Belair or Rhea Ripley win it every other year to get her numbers up

Statement #16: Kazuchika Okada should go to the WWE. FICTION - Okada should go wherever he feels would be the best place for his career. That might be WWE, that might be AEW, that might be a company which isn't even in the conversation at the moment, but saying he "should" join one company or another is just like the worst part of football discourse for decades before social media became a thing and made it even more irritating

Statement #17: WCW’s three-ring World War 3 battle royale concept should be brought back. FICTION - The main issue with both WarGames and Blood & Guts is there's always the chance the camera misses something in the second ring as it's focusing on something in the first ring (or, in B&G's case, outside the ring or on top of the cage) so a third ring increases the chances of the production truck missing something

Statement #18: If The Rock wrestles at WrestleMania 40 it will NOT be his last match. FACT - Mainly because of the genuine concern that, if he does win at WM, it will be the second time in recent(ish) memory he's come back to end a lengthy title reign, meaning he has to stick around to drop the belt...right?

Statement #19: You prefer to watch actual wrestling over movies about wrestling, like The Iron Claw. FICTION - At no point when watching The Wrestler did the film cut to commercial mid-match, nor did I question Darren Aronofsky's booking decisions...until Noah, anyway, but the point I'm making...

Statement #20: Playing the Royal Rumble mode on the early ’90s WWF WrestleFest arcade game is history’s greatest wrestling video game experience. FICTION - As fun as the Wrestlefest Rumble was, the greatest wrestling game experience for me was borrowing someone's GameShark so I could actually use Jake Roberts in SDvsR 2006, as that was locked behind needing PS2 & PSP crossplay otherwise and I didn't know a single person with a PSP

Statement #21: If the top rope breaks during a battle royale, wrestlers should still be legally eliminated by being throw over the 2nd rope. FACT - Makes sense, as if the top rope breaks the middle rope becomes the top rope. Just don't ask if the top rope breaks on one side but not the other three, that's a headache waiting to happen

Statement #22: 2x Royal Rumble winner John Cena is the greatest wrestler of all time. FICTION - Mitsuharu Misawa is spinning in his urn

Statement #23: Here’s another good idea – a Reverse Royal Rumble: the match starts with all 30 entrants in the ring and every 2 minutes someone is randomly eliminated, but you can can be safe from the random countdown eliminations if you eliminate someone else first. FICTION - New rule for 411mania: anybody suggesting reverse battle royals must post photo ID to prove they aren't Vince Russo - and if they aren't, that makes it even worse

Statement #24: No one ever retires – the Undertaker will wrestle again. FICTION - Plenty of wrestlers retire for real, be it due to injuries which can't be rehabbed or because nobody noticed that they retired. More than anything else, though, since retiring Undertaker has removed the mystique he had for decades with his podcast appearances and so forth, and that genie isn't getting put back in the bottle

Statement #25: IMPACT Wrestling changing their name back to TNA will make you watch again. FICTION - It's not airing in the depths of Freeview in the UK anymore, which is why TNA had a surprisingly large following in the UK 15+ years ago, so unless there's some really good word of mouth that will send me to WatchWrestling I will likely not be actively looking to watch it

Statement #26: WWE should bring back the ECW brand again. FICTION - If there's any brand which WWE bought and then euthanised they should consider bringing back it's Evolve. No, wait, hear me out: the thing with Evolve is there's little to no emotional attachment or cultural cache attached to the brand as there is with ECW or ROH, so if they rebranded NXT LVL UP to Evolve it wouldn't hamstring the show before a second had aired, given the name is mainly associated with Gabe Sapolsky booking shows for DGUSA talent when the Dragon Gate wrestlers weren't available

Statement #27: You would be excited to see Shane McMahon as a surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble match this year. FICTION - I'd rather he was a surprise entrant in MITB or the Elimination Chamber, as that means we'd guarantee somebody taking an utterly ludicrous bump in matches which sort of require it

Statement #28: WWE already has too many international PLEs scheduled for this year. FICTION - Actually having PPVs for overseas crowds, and not the UK-only PPVs that WWE used to fob off their UK audience with which HHH always seemed to be "injured" for yet healthy to appear on Raw a couple of nights later, is something WWE needed to consider for the longest time. Remember, that's actual crowds, not Bonesaw McGraw's mates...

Statement #29: It’s sad that one year ago Sami Zayn was the hottest wrestler in the world, but now no one talks about him, he has no chance of winning the Royal Rumble or ever main event-ing a WrestleMania again. FACT - Especially considering that Sami did the impossible and made the Bloodline actually interesting and not JBL's Cabinet with Polynesian tattoos, and he deserved to be rewarded for that with the booking Jey Uso is currently getting

Statement #30: CM Punk will win the 2024 men’s Royal Rumble. FACT - Seems like the wisest call to make: if Rollins is healthy come WM, Punk vs Rollins will go ahead while Cody/Reigns is for all the marbles, but if Rollins isn't healthy there's a story for Punk/Reigns or potential for a Punk/Cody/Reigns three-way - so all Punk has to do is not break his foot doing a spot that makes no sense to wreck those booking plans, or lose his rag on a habitual basis to wreck literally everything around him

[celestial-thoughts]

july 10, 2023 - weekly women’s pro wrestling news roundup: week of july 3-9, 2023

this week's news roundup includes:

News & results from last week’s editions of Monday Night Raw, NXT, and Friday Night SmackDown.

News & results from last week's editions of WWE Main Event and NXT Level Up.

News & results from last week’s editions of AEW Dynamite, AEW Rampage, and AEW Collision.

Other updates and news from last week.

Pro Wrestling Illustrated's weekly top 10 recap.

Things to look forward to in women’s wrestling this week!

spoilers below the cut for shows/events listed above!

Notable news & results from TV last week:

Monday Night Raw (7/3):

Ronda Rousey came out to the ring, but was interrupted by her former best friend and tag team partner Shayna Baszler, telling Ronda that no one wanted to hear her talk. Ronda said that Shayna owed her an explanation for betraying her on Saturday at Money in the Bank. Shayna fired back, reminding Ronda that she wouldn't even be in WWE if it weren't for Shayna, and that unlike Rousey, Baszler paid her dues and worked her way up through the independent wrestling scene. She then went on to say that the only thing she owed was an apology for bringing Ronda into WWE. Ronda tried to choke Shayna out, but Shayna countered into an ankle lock, before hitting Ronda with a knee strike and walking away.

Sonya Seville & Chelsea Green won tag team turmoil to become the number one contenders to the WWE Women's Tag Team Championships. The match started with Sonya Neville & Chelsea Green taking on Indi Hartwell & Candice LeRae. After eliminating Indi & Candice, they also eliminated Emma & Nikki Cross, before also facing and eliminating Dana Brooke & Tegan Nox. The final team to enter was Katana Chance & Katana Chance, who Sonya & Chelsea also eliminated to become number one contenders. match length-11:55.

Becky Lynch came out to the ring. She said that she can move on from not winning Money in the Bank, but that she can't move on from Trish Stratus. She called out Trish, telling her to come out to the ring so they could end things. Trish Stratus and Zoey Stark came out, and Trish said that she wasn't medically cleared to compete. Becky said that she would fight Zoey instead, saying that Zoey was better than Trish anyways, and a match between Becky and Zoey was set for next week on Raw.

Rhea Ripley defeated Natalya to retain the Women’s World Championship. The match opened with Natalya attacking Rhea from behind as the champion was making her way to the ring. The match was back and forth as both women were able to get in various degrees of offense. Natalya nearly made Rhea tap with the Sharpshooter, but Rhea got to the bottom rope. Rhea hit Natalya with the Riptide to successfully retain the title. match length-12:45.

After the match, Rhea continued to beat Natalya down, but the WWE Women's Tag Team Champions Liv Morgan & Raquel Rodriguez came to her aid. Rhea got out of the ring, and Raquel stared down the champion.

Backstage, Ms. Money in the Bank Iyo Sky came face to face with Women's World Champion Rhea Ripley. Iyo said she would see Rhea around, and the champion responded that cashing in on her would be the biggest mistake of Iyo's life. Rhea then complained to Damian Priest and Dominik Mysterio about Liv and Raquel coming to the aid of Natalya, saying that she would make them regret getting involved in her business.

NXT (7/4):

Blair Davenport defeated Roxanne Perez. The match started off hot, with Roxanne attacking Blair from behind while Blair was making her way to the ring. After a back and forth match, Blair was finally able to put Roxanne down for the three count. match length-12:02.

Ivy Nile was being interviewed backstage, but she was interrupted by NXT Women's Champion Tiffany Stratton. Tiffany talked trash to Ivy, who reminded Tiffany that the whole world had seen her tap out to Thea Hail the week before at Gold Rush.

Kelani Jordan defeated Tatum Paxley. In her NXT TV singles debut, Kelani managed to defeat Tatum with veteran Dana Brooke in her corner. Kelani got the pinfall win after hitting a stunner out of nowhere on Tatum. match length-2:47.

After the match, Cora Jade came out to "congratulate" Kelani, before warning Kelani that any friend of Dana's is her enemy. Kelani challenged Cora to a match right then and there, but Cora said that no one tells her what to do, before walking away.

Lyra Valkyria defeated Jacy Jayne. Lyra was able to pin Jacy after hitting a spinning leg lariat. match length-8:54.

After the match, Jacy beat down Lyra, before tearing up her entrance wings.

A vignette was shown of Kiana James entering her office which had been filled with paint by Gigi Colin.

AEW Dynamite (7/5):

Women’s Owen Hart Cup Tournament first round: Ruby Soho defeated Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D. Britt battled the numbers game of The Outcasts, with both Saraya and AEW Women's World Champion Toni Storm at ringside interfering in the match. In the end, Ruby was able to roll up Britt, with Toni holding Ruby down to help secure the pinfall win. match length-10:07.

After the match, Skye Blue confronted Ruby Soho. The two women will compete against each other in the semifinals on next week's Dynamite.

WWE Main Event (7/6):

No women's matches this week.

Friday Night SmackDown (7/7):

A video package was shown, recapping the WWE Women's Championship match between Asuka and Charlotte Flair from last week's SmackDown, as well as Bianca Belair's involvement in the match which caused it to end in a no contest.

WWE Women's Champion Asuka came out to the ring, but was quickly interrupted first by Bianca Belair and then Charlotte Flair. The three brawled, before Ms. Money in the Bank Iyo Sky attacked Asuka with the briefcase. Bayley hit a Rose Plant on Asuka onto the briefcase, before Iyo hit the champion with a moonsault. Iyo told Bayley she was going to cash in, but before the official could ring the bell, Bianca attacked Bayley and Charlotte attacked Asuka. Bianca, Bayley, and Iyo (who is still Ms. Money in the Bank) were left laid out on the floor, Charlotte stood tall in the ring, and Asuka escaped with her title.

NXT Level Up (7/7):

Fallon Henley defeated Tatum Paxley. match length-5:53.

AEW Rampage (7/7):

Hikaru Shida defeated Marina Shafir. Shida defeated Marina after hitting the Katana. match length-3:31.

TBS Champion Kris Statlander was interviewed backstage, where she said that she would defend her title anywhere and against anyone.

AEW Collision (7/8):

Willow Nightingale was originally supposed to compete tonight against Athena in the Women's Owen Hart Cup Tournament semifinals, but it was announced on Twitter hours before the show that she had suffered injuries earlier in the week while competing on July 4 and 5 at NJPW Strong Independence Day in Japan. The match is being moved to the Friday, July 14, edition of AEW Rampage, in an effort to give Willow a chance to get medically cleared.

Julia Hart defeated Bambi Hall. match length-2:20.

Other news & updates from last week:

According to a report from Fightful Select on Monday afternoon, the rumor that had circulated leading up to Money in the Bank about Charlotte Flair replacing Zelina Vega in the Women's Money in the Bank ladder match was false. Charlotte's current program with WWE Women's Champion Asuka and Bianca Belair has been planned since before she returned a few weeks ago.

In an Instagram caption on Monday, Ronda Rousey noted that the length of the WWE Women's Tag Team Championship match at Money in the Bank had gotten cut 3 times. The match ended up being 9 minutes long. This isn't the first time that Ronda has been vocal in her criticism about the amount of time given to women's matches, as she expressed similar frustration after her match with Liv Morgan at SummerSlam 2022 was only given about 4 and a half minutes.

In significantly more exciting news regarding the women's division in WWE, the July 3 edition of Monday Night Raw, nearly every member of the Raw women's division was featured on-screen in some capacity. 21 of the 23 women on the roster were featured, plus an appearance by SmackDown superstar Iyo Sky. The only 2 women who weren't on the July 3 edition of Raw were Piper Niven and Xia Li.

On Wednesday, July 5 at day 2 of NJPW Independence Day, Willow Nightingale lost the NJPW Strong Women's Championship to Giulia. For those who aren't familiar with Giulia, she is one-third of the current Artist of Stardom champions in the Japanese all-women's promotion Stardom.

According to WWE, the June 30 edition of SmackDown and WWE Money in the Bank (both of which took place at the O2 Arena in London, England) generated a combined gate of more than $5.4 million. Additionally, the June 30 episode of SmackDown was the highest-grossing SmackDown of all-time, and WWE Money in the Bank was the highest-grossing arena event of all-time.

WWE also announced that this year's Money in the Bank marked the highest-grossing arena event for venue merchandise in WWE history, and sponsorship revenue was up 9 percent versus the record set in 2022.

Viewership for this year's event jumped 17 percent from last year's record, as well as surpassing the viewership of the last U.K. premium live event (Clash at the Castle) by 30 percent.

On Friday, WWE announced that this year’s Survivor Series event will take place on Saturday, November 25, 2023. The announcement included no mention of the WarGames theme from the 2022 event. Both the Survivor Series event itself, as well as Friday Night SmackDown the night before will take place at the Allstate Arena in Chicago, Illinois. This is the same building where several other WWE events have been held, including NXT TakeOver: WarGames in 2019, Survivor Series 2019, and most recently hosted Hell in a Cell 2022.

Dave Meltzer's ratings for WWE Money in the Bank 2023 have been announced. The WWE Women's Tag Team Championship match between Ronda Rousey & Shayna Baszler and Liv Morgan & Raquel Rodriguez received 2.75 stars, while the women's Money in the Bank ladder match was given a rating of 4 stars. Additionally, the Women's World Championship match between Rhea Ripley and Natalya on the July 3 edition of Monday Night Raw received a rating of 3.75 stars.

According to Sean Ross Sapp of Fightful, Vince McMahon was backstage at Friday Night SmackDown on July 7 at Madison Square Garden. It is worth noting that MSG isn't far from WWE HQ in Connecticut, and Vince has been known to be backstage at shows close to where WWE corporate offices are.

Dave Meltzer of Wrestling Observer Newsletter reported on Sunday, July 9 that the upcoming July 21, 2023 edition of Friday Night SmackDown will be airing on FS1 instead of Fox, due to Fox coverage of the FIFA Women's World Cup. This week's show on July 14 is still set to air on Fox as usual.

Pro Wrestling Illustrated top 10 rankings recap:

Evaluation period: June 30-July 6, 2023. Published on July 7, 2023. Note: my recap of PWI's top 10 tag teams of the week will only cover the women's tag teams listed in the rankings for the week (PWI includes both men's and women's tag teams in their rankings). PWI lists their criteria for rankings as the following: championships held/defended, win-loss record, push, and technical ability.

PWI's Women's Wrestling top 10:

1: Giulia (Stardom, NJPW) 2: Mirai (Stardom) 3: Rhea Ripley (WWE) 4: Asuka (WWE) 5: Deonna Purrazzo (Impact) 6: Iyo Sky (WWE) 7: Tam Nakano (Stardom) 8: Miyu Yamashita (Tokyo Joshi Pro Wrestling) 9: Saki Kashima (Stardom) 10: Willow Nightingale (AEW, NJPW, ROH)

PWI's Tag Team Wrestling top 10:

2: Mariah May & Mina Shirakawa (Stardom) 4: Liv Morgan & Raquel Rodriguez (WWE)

Things to look forward to this week:

After last week's confrontation, Becky Lynch will go one-on-one with Zoey Stark this Monday, July 10, on Raw.

This Tuesday, July 11 on NXT, following an exchange of harsh words between Ivy Nile and the NXT Women's Champion Tiffany Stratton, Ivy will step up to the champ in a non-title match.

This Wednesday, July 12 on AEW Dynamite, Skye Blue and Ruby Soho will face off with a spot in the Women's Owen Hart Tournament finals on the line.

This Friday, July 14 on SmackDown, Bianca Belair will get her rematch against WWE Women's Champion Asuka next week on SmackDown.

AEW Battle of the Belts returns with the seventh edition of AEW's one hour television special. AEW Battle of the Belts VII is set to air Saturday, July 15 on TNT, immediately following AEW Collision.

Current Women's Champions in WWE & AEW:

WWE: - Women's World Championship: Rhea Ripley - WWE Women's Championship: Asuka - NXT Women's Championship: Tiffany Stratton - WWE Women's Tag Team Championship: Liv Morgan & Raquel Rodriguez - Ms. Money in the Bank: Iyo Sky

AEW: - AEW Women's World Championship: Toni Storm - TBS Championship: Kris Statlander

[eat-the-richard]

GAME OF THE YEAR ("GOTY") (as they call it) 20222

Fellas!!!!! Howsit going Tumblr, felt like writing about video game again because my brain loves video games! I like thinking about video games more than actually playing them! There’s plenty of us out there who watched a baker’s million video essays in their adolescence and have been poisoned (PLAGUED... even) with gaming knowledge and insights. And I’m one of them!!!!!!!!!!! So here it is, Y'INZ... my top 300 games of christian year 2022.

And just to preface before one of you FREAKS gets any funny ideas, I think basing your GOTY lists on just what released in a given calendar year is bogus! If you do this, GET OUT OF HERE! If you only play the newest games on your PS5 and don't even look at anything released before 2018, everyone at the lunch table thinks you smell weird. So put on some antiperspirant and play freaking Halo Combat Evolved for pete's sake! (EDITOR'S NOTE: Despite this joke, Richard has not yet completed Halo: Combat Evolved despite owning it.)

HONORABLEST MENTION

Sometimes you have a list that has honorable mentions. me too!

Mario Kart 8 Booster Course Pass (Nintendo Switch)

This is actually not very good since it's just cheap mobile game levels imported into the MK8 engine. Unfortunately I love giving Nintendo money AND happen to think that playing Mario Kart after a hard day at the mine shaft is pretty relaxing. So even if they imported levels from like Forza Motorsport I think I would like that.

Sonic Origins (Nintendo Switch)

Is this even really a game to rank on a list like this? 30 year old Genesis remakes shoddily copy pasted into the Hedgehog Engine for some reason? With extra content really not worth engaging with? Ehhhh whatever man, this guy has Sonic 3 in it. You ever play Sonic 3 before? If not go do that instead and come back ONLY IF you've completed at least Flying Battery Zone. I would go further but I'd totally understand if you stop playing after pushing the Sandopolis blocks.

WWE 2K22 (PS5)

Regrettably, the newest outing from 2K Sports and WWE is probably my second most played game on this list. Not that this game is even bad, I mean it is probably the best WWE game in the last 10 years. Tons of modes, good visuals, cool roster. I played the banana slamma outta this game for like a month. But then I realized I was having more fun assigning championships to created guys on my roster to match the week-to-week championship histories of modern WWE and AEW rather than, you know, actually playing it. So I haven't touched this in about seven months. Something about the moment-to-moment gameplay of 2K just doesn't engage me at all, feels too slow but also not impactful enough to match how wrestling actually feels to watch. Feels faker than the real thing, believe it or not.

Ship of Harkinian (PC)

This only didn't make the list since, I mean like it's Ocarina of Time from 1998 which I first played in 2010 and have replayed approximately 8 times. But I've been waiting for something like this since the Ocarina of Time source code was 100% decompiled late last year, and the fellas over on the King's ship have given me everything I wanted. 60 FPS gameplay, tons of tweaks to improve on OOT's core features, support for nearly every device under God's watchful glare, controller remapping AND analog camera. Still doesn't look as good as the 3DS version but if you choose to play Nintendo Switch Online version rather than this you are under arrest.

OK THIS IS THE LIST EVERYTHING BEFORE WAS NOT REAL

16. Super Kiwi 64 (PC)

I remember picking up this game while being stressed out about going to a social function. The sales pitch for me was simple: it plays like an N64 platformer AND you can beat it in an hour.

As someone who has more games in his backlog than iPhone chargers in his plastic bag of chargers (pictured), it feels good sometimes to just... crank one out y'know? One session of non-stop platforming and you never have to worry about it again. Pure dopamine to your chrome dome.

It helps that SK64 is a pretty fun time too. With controls so fluid that I don't think I messed up one of my thousands of jumps, levels which are just the right about of expansive as to not be too imposing or restrictive, and a story which makes me grin to the edge of my cheek bone but not further, this is an easy recommend for people of my age range and taste in gaming.

15. Astro's Playroom (PS5)

That's right gaming public, PROOF that I own a PS5. I purchased that white block of solid matter in January after realizing the sheer amount of gaming experiences I was missing by not being in the PlayStation ecosystem. Of course, directly after making the plunge, one of my main PS holdouts I thought would never release on PC (Spider-Man (2018)), well, did. So I haven't really used my PS5 as much as I probably should have for a $500 investment. My fault, of course, for being bad with money.

But for the brief three hours that I was playing Astro's Playroom, I was not thinking these things. Not that I was absolutely head over heels in love, just that I thought, "hey! this little (big) ps5 system ain't so bad! it has this cute little robot game where I can be surrounded by playstation propaganda and murder the dinosaur from the ps1 tech demo!"

I put this game right above Kiwi since they are both pretty short but the sheer effort put into Astro's presentation just notches it a little ahead. You can tell the devs of this loved making it and, hey, I loved playing it too. A little bit. Not $500 love but maybe $10 over the course of 50 years love.

14. Mario's Super Picross (SNES) (by way of Switch Online)

Much like Kiwi, I played the majority of Picross this year while being stressed out over a social arrangement. But while the social arrangement surrounding Kiwi's purchase and playtime was honestly not that bad and I was just being an anxious little bear, the social arrangement surrounding Picross was a wedding. A wedding I had no friends to go there with, taking place 6 hours away with a crowd full of people who went to Liberty University. Needless to say I was dreading the days leading up to this thing. I distinctly remember sitting there, in my rented Airbnb quite literally just in someone's house, thinking to myself, "why the fuck am I here in someone's house for a wedding I will not have fun at?"

So instead of thinking that, I got lost in Picross. While a game I've certainly heard plenty about, Picross seemed to me like it would be confusing to learn and not super fun for me to play. But all it took was a friend explaining the basics to this Japanese-language-only game for me to figure it out. The game started with easy 5x5 puzzles to get my feet wet with the idea of breaking blocks to match the numbers on each row and column. But before I knew it, I was staring down the barrel of a 25x20 board with 30 minutes to figure everything out. And the cool part was that I didn't necessarily feel overwhelmed by that point. The concept had seeped itself into my head that much.

I'll definitely be playing more of this game in the future. I don't think I've even completed a quarter of this game's gargantuan list of puzzles. I kind of don't want to complete this one because I know if I do I'll be sent down the rabbit's hell of Picross games. That puzzle debt is too great for me at the moment.

13. Sonic Frontiers (PC)

Nearly two years ago, I wrote a bunch of words about Sonic on this very blog that ended with this pretentious garbage:

I don’t want SEGA to half ass [the next Sonic game]. I want them to boldly step into that abyss with a vision of Sonic that appeals to the heart of the fandom. Because, even if it’s been down recently, that heart is still beating, and after the abuse it’s already taken, it’s going to take a hell of a lot to get it to stop. And if SEGA can get this heart pumping to its full extreme as it had in years past, we may have something legendary to look forward to.

And, uhh, that kind of happened? Sonic fans seemingly across the board (or as much across the board of lavishly online Sonic nerds as you can get) are utterly in love with Sonic Frontiers for appealing straight into the heart of early 2000s Sonic fandom.

There's plenty about this game that I can look at and say with certainty that I absolutely love. These main four hedgehog et al characters have never been written this well in a mainline title of the series. At its best, Sonic running around the open world is a straight up good time. And the three titan boss themes have been permanently stuck in my headphones and may be some of my favorite songs of the past several years.

So its a shame then that Sonic Frontiers doesn't quite come together very well. The gameplay loop just feels kind of... random to me in a way that no other game in the series has ever been. In a four hour Sonic Frontiers review podcast (*shudder*) JebTube calls some of the challenges that open the map up "Among Us tasks" which may have just ruined that part of the game for me. More than anything, though, the controls just don't quite stick the landing for me. You feel pretty magnetized to the ground even when running off a ledge, which feels pretty strange when the very foundation of this series is based on being launched up a vertical slope into the air.

Still, it's hard not to respect what SEGA was able to accomplish with this one. Harping on potential is often a fool's errand but sometimes, with a media property that has spat you into the dirt more often than not, its hard not to cling onto that potential so that hope isn't totally lost.

12. Sonic Triple Trouble 16-Bit (PC)

Thankfully, even if the mainline Sonic releases are spotty, fanmade content has kept the spirit alive and beating. And this title, made entirely by one guy (Noah Copeland of bearded twitter PFP fame), is the latest in the Sonic fandom's absolute service to older games in the series. From the Retro Engine decomp releases to mods that force games like Adventure DX and Heroes kicking and screaming to the operating table, Sonic fans love improving on older games. Because we love those games. And preserving the core of what made those games so special while improving on the many objective flaws they may have it's the highest tribute you could possibly make to it.

Triple Trouble 16-Bit may be the shining example of this phenomenon. The base of this remake is in an already decent Game Gear game released in 1994, at the height of Sonic's popularity. But it's just too hard to play those Game Gear games in the modern day. There's a certain retro crappiness that comes with playing a game like that, with cropped aspect ratios and 3rd rate visuals bringing down a decent concept. With a fresh Genesis inspired coat of paint and enough tweaks to the overall package that make things way better to actually play, Copeland's project is pretty clearly the only way to play that game right now.

Seeing this game given such love and care makes me yearn for this treatment for other older Sonic games. Like, hear me out OK? Sonic Rush. 16:9 widescreen. No screen switching weirdness to make it easy for modern screens. CD quality soundtrack. Turn down the trick SFX. And tweak the level design to not be so unforgiving. I would do that but I'm a talentless hack!

11. Spider-Man Remastered (PS5)

When I purchased my PS5 earlier this year, I had two games in mind to play on it. One of them was Spider-Man, which has been taunting me for the last five years since its unveiling at one of those old E3 shows. Swinging around like the red guy is just one of those innately fun ideas, I think. Kids think it when looking outside the car window. Adults think it when looking outside their office's window. I want to jump out of here and swing around monkey-style!

Really, Spider-Man only needed to do that right and, shocker, it does do the swinging right. It doesn't even really matter that the open world is in New York, the pinnacle of urban homogeneity and therefore not an incredibly fun world to look around in. New York City skyscrapers were tailor-made for web swinging and video games have been trying to capture that magic for 40 years. You can argue that the 2004 Spider-Man 2 game has a bit more depth to it, but 2018's version is just so smooth and effortless. Really makes me feel like Sp-

Of course there's a story and structure to this game too. Which were both fine. Both serviceable, both doing exactly what they needed to and nothing more. Which probably is bad if you like Spider-Man more for its narrative. But also you don't exist, I had just made up a guy in my head.

10. Dark Souls II (PC)

The end of 2021 revealed to me one crucial detail - I like Dark Souls and Soulslike games after years of failed attempts. This realization occurring conveniently before the release of FromSoftware's next behemoth Elden Ring. So the race was on - how many Soulsborne games developed by FromSoftware could I complete before getting to Elden Ring?

In January, all eyes turned to Dark Souls II as the immediate next step after slaying Lord Gwyn. I've heard a lot about it, not all positive of course. There's a lot of annoying little things about this one. The controls feel a little weird. The health bar is constantly going down. The levels feel kind of samey and lack a ton of level-to-level cohesion. The bosses are truly all over the place.

But, like, Dark Souls 1 had a lot of problems too. So why did I not love this one as much? The gameplay loop involved in tackling monumental challenge is still as fun as ever, and none of the areas are truly repulsive in quality or anything. Maybe it's the fact that I can't really remember much about the experience that says it all here. Still, I had a good time messing around with this one, and even from the bit I experimented with it looks like replaying DSII is definitely worth it.

9. Risk of Rain 2 (PC)

Gamer confession time - I do not care for Roguelikes. I've tried, believe me I've tried. Isaac, Gungeon, Necrodancer, Spelunky, none of these ever did anything for me. So what were these missing? At risk of going on too much of a tangent, let's just keep it simple. They didn't have multiplayer.

Risk of Rain 2, has multiplayer. And just by nature of that one addition, I'm sold on the idea of randomly generated runs of similar content. What can I say? Reacting to the different events in every run is a lot more fun when there's people to react with. Tackling the challenge of getting to the end of a 90 minute run is a lot more satisfying when it's a group effort. And learning the game's mechanics and intricacies by asking a question to a human is a lot more engaging than doing so to a Fandom page.

You know what else Risk of Rain 2 has? Loader. Gosh damped Loader is in this game. Loader has a grapple hook that can fling her across the level AND can uppercut small critters. I want to be her when I'm robotic and dead.

8. Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order (PC)

Star Wars is kind of exhausting to engage with. Thankfully, beyond being another piece of the Disney media machine, Jedi Fallen Order is a pretty fun game as well.

I had this game on my backlog for about two years and I'm glad I finally got to it. The main make or break for me, the Metroid-enjoyer of my friend circle, is how the levels would be laid out to incentivize exploration and finding essential movement-based items along the way to facilitate progress. And while not as good as, say, Metroid Prime in that regard, Jedi Fallen Order hits a lot of those beats. I didn't even think there'd be a double jump in this game (for some reason) but when I got one it immediately made me think of all the new areas I could explore with that new ability. Combat is pretty fun here as well, with a slew of abilities both involving your saber and your force hands to obliterate the white menace (Stormtroopers) and all rats that come from the dirt.

Taken as just a game, it's a good time, albeit one that feels like a mashup of a lot of other successful game ideas and mechanics. But when all these mechanics and features are wrapped in a cozy Star Wars shaped wrapping paper along with a gift card to "Actually Tells an Interesting Story of Regret and Acceptance Without Relying Too Heavily on Star Wars Tropes And Areas," maybe it comes together better than the sum of its parts.

7. Splatoon 3 (Nintendo Switch)

Boy howdy, do I love giving money to Nintendo. One of my favorite pastimes, that and sitting. I'll be honest though, I wasn't too keen on engaging with Splatoon 3 up to launch. Nothing really grabbed me as someone who only liked Splatoon 1 and 2. To be honest, I was more of a fan of the single player modes of those earlier games. So if anything, I would just get it for the campaign. Which would have been fine, Splat 3's story takes the best of Octo Expansion's creative level ideas into a wild story that ends with a cool boss fight, like expected.

What I didn't expect was for one of Splatoon 3's multiplayer modes to make a believer out of me, which did end up happening. Not turf war though, at least not really. Still only think that mode is alright at best and infuriating at worst. Or Ranked/Anarchy, sweating in Splatoon feels like a recipe for a brain tumor. Splatoon 3's biggest win is the new Salmon Run. Well, "new" isn't really accurate since its mostly the same thing as Splatoon 2's mode. However, Splatoon 3 surprised millions and soared above the competition with just one innovative tweak and trick - throwing golden eggs with the A button.

And with that, Salmon Run can be played far more offensively, letting you run around all over the place with your Tri-Slosher while throwing eggs into the net from the lower level of the map. And my golly, when I nail a buzzer beater where the last second egg throw into the net just meets the quota to move onto the next level, I felt more comfortable with parting $20 a year for Nintendo Online than I ever have. Until the next communication error, of course.

6. Dark Souls III (PC)

Dark Souls III, the fifth Demon's Souls game and the fourth game on my Soulsborne list, was made for me by the Abyss Watchers. My experience with those guys is what these games are all about. A brutal challenge which I throw myself at time and time again, originally feeling so hopeless and beaten but gradually growing in both skill and confidence to conquer your fears and goals. Dark Souls III is also made by the Dancer of the Boreal Valley, a beautiful fight befitting of its name in which your rolls and R1 presses must fit in tandem with the bosses enveloping swings and spins. When judging Soulsborne boss fights, DSIII is easily my favorite in the series.

And on the quality of those bosses DSIII sits here on my list. Because the rest of the game is kind of forgettable. Maybe it was just Souls fatigue that did this to me but I really don't remember a whole lot beyond the bosses from this game. I remember the one terrible swamp area that felt like dragging my foot through a... mud... puddle. And I remember the area that was kind of black and white that looped back around on itself. That's about it though, and this Souls fatigue kind of bleeds into the overarching themes of the game, it seems like. This world needed to die, leaving it all in the past to chart new territory. Dark Souls is over, but it's spirit will continually revive into greater things.

5. Cuphead: Delicious Last Course (PC)

I have only played Cuphead as a multiplayer experience. Over the summer of 2019, my roommate and I gorged ourselves in Cuphead's challenge and aesthetic. He would wake me up at around 11am, staring with loving yet needy eyes which told me to get my ass up and back at the setup. Much like Risk of Rain 2, the joy of accomplishment feels all the sweeter when shared, and the journey to get there all the more fun. We even learned the Cuphead barbershop quartet jingle, singing it on the way to Frenchi's to the bereavement of passers by.

At the end of our journey, I distinctly remember feeling excited for the new DLC level to release, as at that point it was scheduled to drop later that year. Less than a year turned into three, and by the time the Cuphead DLC launched for a measly $8, I knew we needed to get together again to experience the heights of beating the piss out of bees and carrots yet again.

Cuphead's Delectable Lone Continuation is, put simply, more Cuphead. It didn't necessarily set to light the world ablaze like last time, but as a fun revisit of the mechanics and aesthetic, DLC was everything I could have wanted. We certainly didn't find it as hard as the end of the base game, given we beat everything within two sessions and five hours. But perhaps we have simply grown as gamers, and as men, since our last time at cartoon town.

4. Spark the Electric Jester 3 (PC)

Spark hit the big time this year, notable since it was the first time the Yellow Lanky Brown-Coated Hat Wearing Clown Man has ever hit my purview. Taken on its own, Spark 3 is an impressive feat for a single developer, as high speed 3D platformers are a tough mix to develop for. You have to simultaneously create large, sprawling landscapes for the characters to traverse through, while being keenly aware that the world is often going to be breezed by in a matter of seconds.

But taken as a culmination of developer Lake Feperd's body of work over the past decade, forged in the fangame scene before tackling the challenges and expectations of original IP, Spark 3 rises ever higher. Comparing footage of the game's two predecessors reveals a steady forming of confidence in how to make games that feel and, more importantly, flow like this. With controls that propel the titular character seamlessly to impressive speed, and level design that facilitates such high speed without becoming too much of a straight line. Developers with higher budgets have been treading this line for years, and often fail to hit the peaks of this wondrous adventure.

High speed doesn't define Spark though, as a character and as a game. There's a lot of thought put into how each level fits into the overarching world. You're not just running through levels for the fun of it, these are genuine places that are inhabited by people. If you stray off the linear path to collect any of the colored coins scattered through each level, you'll find each area is fleshed out beyond the point of necessity. The story is surprisingly deep and moving for a game of this style, with twists and turns that call into question the world you've just blazed through. More than anything, Spark feels like a labor of love, and hopefully that love is reciprocated.

3. The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures (Dolphin)

It's easy to take for granted the emulation paradise we're currently experiencing. Nearly every console ever developed has at least some group of passionate hobbyists working to preserve that hardware and software library therein to players and developers for years to come. Even modern consoles like the Switch and PS4 have impressive emulation solutions right now, with undoubtedly more progress to be made in the coming years.

Most impressively, though, is Dolphin. A combined emulator of the GameCube and Wii consoles, Dolphin has been polished to a mirror's shine. Nearly every game worth playing on these two systems have been made fully compatible, with remaining loose ends being closed every day. If Dolphin closed up shop five years ago, it would still be among the most feature complete emulators to this day, but the continued progress is nothing short of inspiring.

No emulation experience has left me in awe more than when me and three other friends played Four Swords Adventures earlier this year. By linking Dolphin and another GBA emulator (mGBA), utilizing the built in Netplay features in Dolphin to connect to each other, and remapping our controls to better suit modern pads, we were able to play one of the most chaotic, insane, well paced, and ultimately fun co-op experiences Nintendo has ever made. While the original game was hampered by insane accessibility concerns (four GBAs for crying out loud!) and has not been ported officially to anything since, this emulation solution has blown the door open for future players to experience this multiplayer masterpiece well into the future.

2. Elden Ring (PC)

There was no doubt FromSoftware's latest game would hit this list, as it has and will do for the lists of thousands of gaming-obsessed wannabe writers over these past and future months. It's very concept left people in want - an open world Dark Souls game with the highest production values and development time in the Soulsborne semi-franchise. These games' following has progressed far beyond cult, as Elden Ring and its impact caused these games to hit the mainstream. Reverberations of which caused me and my friends to embark on our Souls experience in the preceding months. Along the journey, we fell in love with what was on offer - the world, the design, the challenge, the community, and the sense of achievement, specifically on my end, of finally putting a series that I always knew I would love solidly into one of my favorites.

All roads lead to May, when everyone I knew was either already playing or had just started playing Elden Ring. The experience of early Limgrave is something really special, and it remains my favorite part of the game. Truly no path in this early area is the wrong path. Each story and journey embarked is entirely unique to each of the millions of players. Open world games rarely get this unique part of their appeal; playing games like Spider-Man this year only reinforced this perspective. While each player is bounded to come across some of the same things, the pure scale and density of the world is something to behold, and to experience everything requires commitment and time.

But often, when beholding the monolith of something seemingly insurmountable, motivation is fleeting. Admittedly, after getting through Leyndell and conquering Morgott, I simply ran out of gas. It should have come as no surprise, given I had been gorging myself in Souls content for the preceding months and that Elden Ring on average takes around three times the hours to complete compared to the preceding titles. I took a three month long break from completing its remaining areas, in which even when I got there, I was struck by the quality difference between the early and end game. This is to take nothing away from what Elden Ring achieved, though, and the experience I had playing it. Ultimately, it's an experience I'm glad I had, particularly at the end of my Souls journey. But as the months went on, my experience with Elden Ring was not what stuck with me as the peak of my gaming year.

1. Bloodborne (PS4)

I bought a PS5 to play this game. I've owned Bloodborne for many years, with my first experience occurring in 2015. My time with the game was short, as very soon afterward I was whisked off to college without a PS4 to play with. But much like how the experience of trekking through the Undead Burg and Parish is still baked into my skull even years after first attempting it, I will never forget my first run through Central Yharnam. That packed alleyway full of damned locals wielding nothing but their bare fists and torches to light the way, dimly lit and dankly produced with the pronounced, overwhelming horror of a gothic town gone mad with sickness and death, remains the most striking opening to a Souls game FromSoft has ever made.

I didn't get much further than the Father Gascoigne fight before I stopped playing that first time, but something about those early hours kept drawing me back to Bloodborne. Even when I was pitch broke and jobless in college, I would frequently check for the price of PS4 Slims on Facebook Marketplace to see if I could get one for close to $100. While the PS4 has a great library, with tons of quality titles that I would like to play at some point, only one made me eventually pull the trigger when money was right.

And here I was, March of 2022, having bested Dark Souls 1 and 2 and becoming innately familiar with the Souls series, finally sitting in front of my obnoxiously high latency television that was stating the Bloodborne title screen. At last, I was ready to give this experience another crack. And of course, a master at gaming and gameplay that I am, I still got rocked at this same Central Yharnam graveyard. As I soon learned, knowledge of previous Souls games actually isn't that much of an advantage. You don't play Bloodborne like Dark Souls, a fact I was harshly reminded of going straight from DSII to BB to DSIII. It's been repeated to the point of chronic eye pain at this point, but the lack of shields in Bloodborne really makes a difference in how you trudge through it. This lack of instant defensive options combined with the regain system of getting back health upon hitting an enemy, the insane number of quality trick weapons at your disposal, and the complete lack of things like slow rolling and armor upgrades forces players to approach combat scenarios not so much as a studious, opportunistic Dark Souls player but as a ravenous hound, thirsty for carnage and blood vials.

Which, even in context of the game world, makes sense. You aren't a cursed undead trying to escape a rotten world by resetting the cycle of anguish, escaping this cruel engagement through wits rather than brawn. You're coming here. To this ruinous city on its most vile, violent occasion. The utter definition of eldritch, cosmic horror which unravels slowly and grotesquely as the game progresses. You, in your pride, come here to cure illness. And in your attempt, you find yourself adapting to match the furor and intensity of the beasts you fight in your path. Even if a cure can be found here (it can't), the sickness you receive in return can't be worth the trouble. Beasts all over the shop...

I usually don't think of games like this. I have what my goofy favorite YouTuber NakeyJakey calls goopy goblin gamer brain, a sickness which makes you compare every video game to Super Mario. Gameplay comes first and foremost; it doesn't really matter how it all comes together as long as the core is solid. So perhaps its because Bloodborne quite simply can't get out of my head months after completing it that puts it at the top of my list. The more I think about the experience in its totality, the more in awe I feel of it. Games like Bloodborne are not created by pure artistic competency or raw man hours put in. There needs to be a certain alignment of the moon and amygdala to have something so horrific and beautiful exist on our revolving hellfire.

My "New Year's Rockin' Wish" is for Bloodborne to release on PC, if for no other reason than for my friends to play it. They helped me get over the hurdles needed for me to enjoy this series, so they more than deserve to experience what I believe to be the crowning achievement of the FromSoftware catalog. But if Mark Sony hates God and mocks death as much as I think he does, he will continue restricting access of Bloodborne to a sub-30 FPS experience even on my $500 white rectangle. And for this, my gamer brainiacs, he will go to, and burn in, hell.

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!

[rhlgull1331]

A Few Pro Wrestling Matches from 2022 (in chronological order) ((this post is long , sorry))

{4.75 stars & The Beautiful Excess award}

Just 3 weeks after having a legitimately perfect 1-hour match, they have to follow it up with something that matches their previous brilliance without being too similar. The easy solution was to further the game of one-upmanship present in their first encounter but with half the length. Main difference here is that the challenge Danielson presented to Adam Page went from "can you keep up with me, champ?" to "can you handle me headbutting you for 10 actual minutes?" Yeah, it's probably not a great idea for Bryan Danielson, owner of prowres' most valuable brain since Bobby Heenan, to engage in vicious head-based offense... but I guess he was fine. Who are we to question The American Dolphin?

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{4.5 stars & The Overcoming All Odds award}

Adam Page was AEW's best world champion and I doubt I'll change my mind until we see a champion come out on top in a manner as bonkers as this. You've probably seen a few deathmatches this year? I've only seen a few throughout the year. No single ultraviolent spot made me react the way Adam Page bouncing off the stairs and landing chin first against the ring post made me react. One thing I've slightly overlooked is how Lance Archer, for one more night, got to be a fucking star. It's a shame he didn't carry this momentum for much of the year.

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{4.25 stars & The King's Road Triumph award}

When Y2J lost the AEW title in 2020 it seemed to me that he would be closing the in-ring chapter of his career within 2 or 3 years. I was verrry wrong. He's had the best prowres year of his life as far as I'm concerned. I have a cynical tendency to hold Chris Jericho to the standards that both he and his fans insist he is at. A fair 75% of the time, he misses the mark that I would expect from a candidate for 'Greatest Of All Time'. This is one of the exceptions where he really hit a home run. The aforementioned cynic in me wants to hand it ALL to Eddie Kingston, but that wouldn't be fair. Jericho helped set up the dramatic heights of the bout just as much as Kingston helped in executing them. It was one of the closest 'duo-minded' matches you could see all year. I imagine both guys shared only a quick glance before walking to the ring, both knowing exactly how the match was gonna go.

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{5 stars & The Most Cathartic award}

I simply cannot do this justice in such few words. The feud between Punk and MJF was magical television. Every week was a highlight of ALL wrestlingI watched this year. Punk's promo where he invites Max to be. his. valentine. Followed of course by Friedman's promo where he reveals his 'origin story' of sorts, which is the undisputed best promo he's ever done. The feud was nothing too complex in the grand scheme of things, it's a grizzled veteran vs confident young guy story at its core... But it means a lot more to a gal like me who knows CM Punk's history. Someone who watched Punk as a kid and began to wonder what he was doing before he was in WWE. Learning about Punk's pre-WWE days invited me to find more Ring Of Honor matches online which inevitably led me to everything they had to offer. I found more about the American indies, I found New Japan and Pro Wrestling NOAH, I found my niche. And I can personally trace it all back to the time I learned that CM Punk pinned Austin Aries and then told a fable about an old man and a snake.

.....

The match was pretty good too!

Acute satisfaction came from seeing MJF finally get his comeuppance by way of a flatback bump into thumbtacks. Thanks Wardlow, you sexy man!

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{4.25 stars & The Better Than BOLA award}

(No, i didn't only watch AEW this year) Every couple of years in pro wrestling you find that one. The one who just ticks all the boxes. "Speedball" Mike Bailey is that one for me. They just know how it all works. Couple them with someone who also happens to tick all those boxes and you get this match. These two had had a match for 2022's Battle of Los Angeles tournament, which was fine but I felt it went a bit longer than needed. Well I thought it did, but it turns out this match here is only 4 minutes shorter than their PWG match. The difference is night and day, although some of the moments are carried directly from that initial match. It's just a much better execution for the most part.

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{4.5 stars & The Comedy Bullshit Award}

I love Jackass. I love Sami Zayn. You'd expect this to be an incompatible pairing, considering how explicit all of Jackass' content is, but the easy workaround is to have this match work as a straightforward comedy match rather than anything exceedingly violent. Let's not kid ourselves now, in what world would it be a good idea for Johnny Knoxville to have a legitimate pro wrestling match? He's had more concussions than Mick Foley. The action is as competent as a WWE prop-comedy scene could've been. If it were Johnny Knoxville with anybody else then it wouldn't be on the list. Samuel Zayn is the patron saint of giving a hundred and ten percent.

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{4.25 stars & The Bleedin' Gums award}

There are few ways to genuinely shine on TV when you've come up through the independents, even in AEW's world. Most of the time, crowds are familiar enough with a talent so that they don't have to establish much more about themselves that isn't able to be seen online. Wheeler YUTA took things a step forward by not resting on his laurels and instead finding a new way to stand out. In this case, he gets promptly massacred by Jon Moxley. The amount of blood that flows from YUTA's head could fill a pool. The one moment where he's face-up on the outside, face fully coloured in red, the money shot for Wheeler if there could've been one. Mox don't slouch either, he puts up one of his best performances all year and that's saying a lot. The speed when he starts hitting those Hammer&Anvil Elbows is remarkable.

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{4.25 stars & The Denzel Washington award}

This fight is a cult underground jazz record that was only on vinyl for 20 years and then inexplicably found its way to streaming after some weirdo celebrity found it and loved it. I feel it aimless to analyse this match as a match, since it's portrayed as a gang fight that just so happens to be in front of a crowd. We get a lot of wild moments throughout, my personal favourite being when Danny Garcia hits a Piledriver onto Ortiz or Santana from the apron onto stairs immediately after J.R says "Stop posing to the crowd, nobody's looking!" I could list off all the cool moments but I'm more inclined to praise Eddie Kingston for a bit. How is it possible for someone to feel so genuine when they are trying to light a man on fire while covered head to toe in another man's blood? I'd like to stop for another second to show love to the owner of that blood, "Daddy Magic" Matt Menard. This fuckin guy bled like a Funk Brother and then covered himself in mustard with those cuts still fresh. What a madman.

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{4.75 stars & The Best Sequel award}

yeahyeahyeah I know The Briscoes ain't the most jam-up guys in prowres, but they can still craft a fantastic match when they need to. FTR are unfortunately in this negative space with fans right now, because Dax Harwood (FTR Bald) is being outspoken about things that aren't exactly popular or fun to talk about. I don't know why Cash Wheeler (FTR Not Bald) is getting flack too but that's only because I imagine when Dax isn't around him, he de-spawns from the area like a video game NPC. My point is that these two teams made some magic with this match despite their inherent flaws as teams and as personalities. Perhaps a bit of length could be cut and perhaps a hope spot or two could be removed, but dammit this is the kind of pulpy, high-stakes tag team wrestling I adore. Plus I just love the 2/3 Falls stipulation. That was a big bonus for me. (btw their first and third matches are great too but i like this one more)

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{4.5 stars & The Marvel Movie award}

This match was unstable. (that's a joke) Imagine the unsubtle and overproduced fighting in a Marvel Movie action scene and now imagine that being applied within the confines of a wrestling ring and voila you have this match. WWE have this weird thing where they have main events for the world title feel complacent in their content. Roman is able to have a good/watchable match but only when he's with someone that he's wrestled before. He and Brock "Punches Moons Into Smaller Moons" Lesnar have had some stinkin' rotten no-good bouts before, just look at their match at WrestleMania this year! There was no optimism from me nor my pals, whom I watched SummerSlam with, that this match would be worth a damn. ... But then the tractor came out and the match shot from a solid 3.5 star snooze right to a 4.25 classic. ...... Then Austin Theory (yuck) got his SHIT ROCKED and it went up another quarter. Sometimes it's worth giving the benefit of the doubt. You may just turn the night around in your favour.

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{4.25 stars & Loud As F**K award}

I knew this match was good when Starlight Kid no-sold a Butterfly Suplex from the top and I had no qualms about it. This match is a sleeper hit that comes right in the middle of a round robin tournament where nobody expects it. Fast-paced and hard-hitting, two very common attributes for this promotion's best matches but quite bloody apt in this case. There's one bit where I swear Giulia's elbow pops out of place with how hard she swung it at SLK's jaw. It's no wonder both these wrestlers are my favs in all of STARDOM when they're this captivating in such a "throwaway" match during a Round Robin tournament.

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{4.25 stars & The Welsh Irish Pride award} This match is how to show you appreciation to the long-time star in Sheamus. Let him wrestle someone with no restrictions. Nothing but the hardest of hits and amplest of steps taken to get those hits in. This match is subtle for the longest time, waiting for a right moment for Gunther to get ruthless. If this were to be Big Gunth vs anybody else then it would probably open with one of his trademark CHOPS (in all caps), but they play it coy and they don't have Gunther hit Sheamus with a CHOP until a good few minutes in. And only from there do things escalate. The crowning moment being when Sheamus drops Gunther with the High Cross. A move that is always in Sheamus' moveset in the video games but one i've not seen him use since maybe 2011. If Sheamus' legend status in WWE was in question before this match, then that debate was taken out back and kicked up the backside after the crowd's standing ovation.

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{4.5 stars & The Bloody Tears award}

When it comes to deathmatches, I like to see men willingly bleed in pursuit of money and glory. Jun Kasai is one such man who has legitimately done that for 20 years. Look at his back and you'll see the shell of a tortoise. El Desperado is a New Japan star who I, admittedly, held in little regard beforehand but now i think i want to see this man succeed in every way possible. Jun Kasai is comparable only to a decrepit deity with aspirations for mayhem and reverence for suffering. He takes all the worst ideas for wrestling moves and then makes them more brutal, for a random example imagine a Canadian Destroyer. Right, you've seen one of those before? Picture that move off the top rope now. "Actually let's amp it up a bit and let's add a Double Underhook so then Despy can't protect his head on impact." Oh! Okay then Mr. Kasai. "Let's also add a stack of chairs so the aforementioned impact is a smidge more painful." Whatever you say! "That ain't the end of the match by the way." Fine by me! Don't stab me, sir!! It's a madman's match for sure. It also gets a bit sentimental during the end-match promo, but i must declare that I was a little distracted that point because i had seen the best deathmatch of my damn life. ------------- That's my list! I hope you'll want to watch some wrestling now. - Rhlgull

[ashleyfanfic]

Ladies and gentlemen, this is Iyo Sky. She has done this several years in a row. This was a match called War Games. Five competitors on either side. This match was excellent, even without this spot. And also, these are the most badass ladies ever. There amount of talent in that ring is incredible. Let me run down their accomplishments for you.

Iyo Sky (The one with the garbage can on her head - formerly Iyo Shirai) - known as the Empress of the Skies. She has an amazing moonsault off the top rope that she does and she is currently the Smackdown women's champion.

Asuka (formerly Kana in Japan) - First ever female winner of the Royal Rumble. Went undefeated in NXT and retired as their champ when she was called up to the main roster. She shoots mist into the eyes of the other women and can kick your head off your body.

Kairi Sana - Was in a tag team with Asuka called the Kabuki Warriors. They had the tag titles for over a year. Kairi has the best Elbow drop in the buisiness and she's called the Pirate Princess. She won the Mae Young Classic in NXT against former MMA competitor Shayna Baszler.

Bayley - First ever triple crown winner - meaning she's won the NXT championship, Raw championship, and Smackdown championship. She's also won Women's Money in the Bank, the tag titles on more than one occasion, and she's known as one of the Four Horsewomen of the WWE. (Two more of them to come) One of the first women to ever headline NXT Takeover.

Charlotte Flair - Her father is Ric Flair, but that's the least interesting thing about her. She's only been on the main roster for around 8 years and has more than 10+ title reigns. One of the first women to main event Wrestlemania. She is one of the best female wrestlers in the world. One of the Four Horsewomen of WWE.

Shotzi Blackhart - She's still relatively new on the main roster, but she does some insane spots and she's fought for the smackdown women's title twice. Once against Ronda Rousey and once against Iyo. She's also hosted Halloween Havoc in NXT nearly every year since they brought the paper-view back. She rides a tank out to the ring and shoots foam missiles at her opponents in the ring.

Bianca Belair - Was one of two of the first black women to main event Wrestlemania with Sasha Banks. She was a track and field star at the University of Tennessee, but transitioned to wrestling where she has proven her athletic ability. She has the longest reign of any female champion in WWE in the modern era. She's beaten everyone on this list. My favorite things about her is that she makes her own ring gear and she will use her braid as a weapon.

Becky Lynch - First ever Irish Women's Champion - One of the Four Horsewomen of WWE. She's done it all. She's won the Royal Rumble, Headlined Wrestlemania and won both the Smackdown and Raw women's championships making her Becky2Belts. She paused her career to have a baby, and if you want to see the sweetest moment ever, this is how Becky told everyone she was pregnant, and Asuka was the one in the ring with her. Asuka is also a mother who wrestles and travels with her child. Asuka showed other women how to do it. Recently, Becky went down to NXT and won the women's belt (the one that had eluded her while she was there) but spent her title reign having matches with younger talent to put them on TV. She headlined Wrestlemania with Ronda Rousey and Charlotte Flair. The first women to ever do so. And it was earned not given to them. Ronda and Becky had the best story going at the time. Don't get me started on why Charlotte was added to the match.

So, yeah, if you want to be impressed, go look up one of these women.

[sb1698]

The Most Humiliating Submission Hold I've Ever Been In

Peggy was my sister's best friend. When this stuff happened, she was 10-11 and I was 14. She was definitely a tomboy but very athletic and strong for her age. We were sitting on my bed watching WWE on TV. Out of nowhere, Peggy said "I know holds that if I got you in, you'd have to give up. There's no way to get out of some holds I know. Remember, Nick (her older brother) was s Green Beret and taught me alot of stuff. How about letting me get you in something and see if you give up?" "Ok "I said, after all, she was a kid. I was sitting in the middle of the bed and Peggy was behind me. She layed back on the bed and spread her legs. She said "Now just lie down right here" she pointed to her open thighs and I put my head there and Peggy said "I'm gonna say 1 2 3 go and on "go " I'll get you in a hold that will make you beg me to let you go." So, Peggy said go and faster than I had ever imagined, she grabbed my chin and holding it in place she locked her ankles and I was caught in Peggy's headscissors hold. I tried to pry her legs apart but I couldn't budge them. I tried standing but she just tightened her hold and began rocking me back and forth repeatedly and very painfully. She grabbed my hands and stretched them up while her legs slowly closed in on me and put on the pressure. I was actually groaning now from what this child was doing to me. She unlocked her legs and as I tried to get up Peggy's ankles put awful pressure on my neck. She said "C'mon get out of this. It's just my ankles locked on your neck!"I tried my best but I was weak from her headscissors. She suddenly unlocked her ankles and used her calves to roll me onto my side. She was lying behind me and as soon as I lifted my head she locked one arm around my neck and used her other arm to lock the hold and put pressure on the top of my head. Jesus, she has me in a sleeper hold I thought and I could feel her hold tighten I couldn't be put to sleep by an 11 year old girl. She had me though and I heard her say "Night Night. " The next thing I remember was opening my eyes and my siblings were all laughing at me. She said "I knew that my sleeper hold would get you!"Peggy got me in just one more hold. She said that she could put me to sleep by just putting pressure on the side of my neck Before I could say anything, she was feeling around my neck with her left hand. She found what she was looking for and squeezed with her left hand and pressed down hard on it with her right hand. From the start, I found that I couldn't move a muscle. She kept squeezing the left side of my neck and I slumped down so all that was holding me up were Peggy's hands.She then squeezed both sides of my neck and the pain was excruciating and the hold escape proof. I finally screamed my surrender and Peggy let me go. She never got me in a wrestling hold again. However, I did see her submit my cousin Rob with a bearhug though. She did all this stuff to me at 11 years old. She's in her late 50s now. I have chatted with her online but we never talk about her childhood domination of me. I shudder to think what she could put me through now.

[heartsoulrocknroll]

AEW Dynamite 10/18/22

Death Triangle (c) vs. Best Friends and Orange Cassidy for the AEW World Trios Tag Team Championship -- Death Triangle rocks so hard. This was another great match from them. More animosity between Pac and Cassidy here. Pac once again tries to use the hammer, but Fénix stops him. Beautiful offense from Pac. Nasty release German suplex on Cassidy. Cassidy immediately responds with an Orange Punch, but neither man can follow up. They tag out to Penta and Trent. Strong Zero by Best Friends on Penta, but Fénix breaks up the pin! Double cutter to Trent and Chuck, followed by a beautiful spinning heel kick and piledriver to Trent by Fénix!! This gives Fénix the three count!!! Death Triangle retains!!!!

I don't have the words to say how much I loved the promo segment with MJF and Regal. MJF tells a story about trying out for an extra position with WWE. He says Regal was impressed by him and wanted to give him a job until Regal found out how young he was. He says Regal told him to go out and work and send Regal a match and a promo every month, implying that Regal would endorse him for a job with WWE when he was older. MJF says he did this for a while, but by the third month, Regal responded with an email stating, "I'm a very busy man. I have talent from all over the world to watch. The game has changed. WWE exclusively hires the best talent in the world, top world class athletes. When you're one of them, then maybe send me your stuff." MJF says Regal's email made him want to quit wrestling and even kill himself, but he didn't want to let Regal and the naysayers win. "Here we are, and my god, have the tables turned. You are nothing more than a sad, withered old man who got fired. You have snuck into my company like a flea-ridden rat, sticking to talents far better than you ever were." MJF says he's the 26 year old kid who is on top of this business and that WWE would now kill to have him put pen to paper in the bidding war of 2024. MJF says he reads Regal's email every day, not to put a chip on his shoulder, but to give him a good, hearty laugh. He says he is about to become AEW world champion because he's MJF and he's better than you and you know it!!!!!!!!! HELL YEAH!!!! Regal says MJF called himself a child at 19, but Regal was fighting grown men at 16 and bleeding from every hole in his body to get into this business. Regal said he sent that email to MJF to light a fire under him. "If a bloody email is what it took to get you to this place, and you've held onto that for 7 years, then you've had it easy, sunshine." Regal calls himself an ordinary decent villain. He says anyone inside the ring is fair game, but condemns MJF for putting his hands on Schiavone and taking shortcuts to get to where he is. Regal says just because MJF is making lots of money, that doesn't prove anything to him. He mentions MJF's constant use of cheapshots with the Dynamite Diamond Ring to get victories. "When I used these (brass knuckles), it was because I just liked hitting people with them." Regal finishes by saying, "If you want to be the devil, make a name for yourself by doing it right." Regal turns his back, seemingly giving MJF an opportunity to hit him. MJF seems to consider it, before deciding against it. Regal tells MJF he still has a lot to prove, then leaves the ring.

This was so, so good. Truly something special. Both MJF and Regal were excellent here. So hyped to see where it goes from here.

Chris Jericho (c) vs. Dalton Castle for the ROH World Championship -- I wasn't really into this at all. There were some good things. Some nice gut wrench suplexes from Castle. But also a lot of nonsense with the boys and Hager on the outside. Jericho kicks out of Bang-a-rang and wins with a Judas Effect.

Jon Moxley (c) vs. Adam Page for the AEW World Championship -- Great action here to start. Page rushes Moxley in the crowd before the bell and lands a moonsault off the balcony. Mox is bleeding before the match even starts. They finally get in the ring. Huge stunner out of nowhere by Mox!! Moxley lands a superplex, then covers Page but pulls Page's shoulder up before the three count and lays in some stomps to the head. Moxley locks in an armbar, but Page gets to the ropes. Page hits Deadeye on the apron!!!! Moxley attempts a German suplex, but Page lands on his feet and responds with a huge lariat!!! Moxley comes back with a lariat of his own!!! Just as I'm thinking how much better Page's lariat looked and just as I'm getting into the match, it becomes clear something is legitimately wrong with Page and the match is stopped. Dang. (Thankfully, he was okay.)

After the match, Moxley calls out MJF. Moxley says wtf is his name? Max Jacob Friedman?? Lol. Moxley says he usually just lets MJF talk because he's not worth breaking a knuckle on. MJF comes out with the chip and a ref, seeming like he is going to cash in. But he then leaves the ring, gives Regal the chip, grabs a mic, and goes off!!!!! "You want to talk about me cutting corners? You want to talk about me being a man? I'm going to cash that chip in, but when I do, I don't want you at 50%, I don't want you right after a match. I want you at 110%. I don't want any excuses. I want to make sure that when I beat you clean, smack dab in the middle of the ring, that there's not a goddamn question that I'm better than you know it." MJF SAYS HE'S CASHING IN AT FULL GEAR!!!!! "Look at me when I say this, Regal, you piece of shit. For the first time in my miserable life, I'm gonna earn it." AAAAAHHHHHHH I AM GOING NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! LOOOOVE IT!!!!

I'm not always a fan of Moxley promos, but his response here was great. "I'll tell you exactly what you're going to earn. You're going to earn the heel of my boot in your mouth. You're going to earn your teeth rolling around inside your mouth, going down your throat, settling in your stomach, and you're going to shit them out. You have earned my fist going directly up your ass. You have earned your esophagus, your throat, your larynx getting squeezed until your head turns purple and pops off like a Pez dispenser... I'm going to show the world that getting in the ring with me is dangerous as all hell."

WHAT A SHOW!!!!!!!! WHAT A STAR, THAT MJF!!!!!!

[thegamecollection]

WWE 2K23 - REVIEW ROUNDUP!

This week we hit the ring with a deep roster of WWE Superstars and Legends including Roman Reigns, "American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes, Ronda Rousey, Brock Lesnar, "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and more!

Launching this Friday, check out what the big name reviewers have said about WWE 2K23 below:

PushSquare - 8/10

“WWE 2K23 isn’t a huge step up from 2K22 with long load times and a surprisingly unpolished Showcase Mode for John Cena, but the series has still shown growth, considering War Games is pure chaos and MyRise is much improved. The future is once again bright for WWE and 2K, and so WWE 2K23 should be celebrated by fans as though they’ve just won their first world championship.”

Read the full review here.

GamesRadar - 4/5

“Finally, the disaster that was WWE 2K20 can be laid to rest. Following a game so legendarily bad its successor was canceled, developer Visual Concepts has spent three-and-a-half years exhuming this series from the dead, Undertaker style. Last year's outing was solid: not quite main event caliber, but the most playable in half a decade. WWE 2K23 goes one better. The former Smackdown series is finally back on top form.”

Read the full review here.

GameRant - 4/5

“Whereas WWE 2K22 was a rebuilding year for the franchise, WWE 2K23 is all about building on that foundation, offering players more bang for their buck and taking everything a step forward. There is still plenty of room for improvement for sure, but WWE 2K23 is easily one of the best WWE games of the past decade.”

Read the full review here.

Dexerto - 4/5

“I feel in some ways I’m echoing my sentiments from one year ago. The gameplay is near-perfect and the presentation and delivery of a worldwide sensation are engrossing and captivating. Better still, one of the game’s most promising game modes is fully realizing its potential.”

Read the full review here.

HardcoreGamer - 4.5/5

“2K and Visual Concepts continue to show commitment to this franchise in WWE 2K23 by making necessary gameplay changes and additions to an already-strong core that was established last year. WWE 2K23 then pushes the graphical fidelity forward to the point that it possibly surpasses its NBA 2K counterpart in the grand spectrum of things.”

Read the full review here.

With other reputable sites such as IGN, Polygon and Eurogamer still to score, we’ve picked the most reputable sites available as of today 15th March at 2pm!

Pre-order with us now and you’ll earn an EXTRA £10 REWARDS at dispatch!

Right here at The Game Collection!

-Jack