keep your brittle heart warm
one piece
pairing: chopper & luffy
word count: 2k
title borrowed from peace by taylor swift
smile again au
read on ao3
x
A year after the funeral, there are mostly good days.
Brook’s initially interrupted tour has finally been rescheduled, so he’s out of state. Everyone else has shifted their work or class schedules from reduced hours back to full-time. Their lives are returning to what Usopp calls a degree of separation from normal. The old normal.
Because Luffy smiles like he used to, and sleeps through the night. He’s re-enrolling in his classes next term and keeps busy in the meantime. They all help him keep busy. He has mostly good days.
Chopper knew from the moment he came downstairs that today was going to be a bad one.
In the usual morning crush of breakfast and rushed showers and last-minute carpool arrangements, Luffy perches on a stool in front of the kitchen island and tears his egg and sausage sandwich in half and then in half again. He lets the noise cover him like a blanket, familiar and precious, but he doesn’t add to it.
When Sanji’s ride arrives, he says, “Luffy, move it.” Because Luffy is supposed to go to the Baratie with him today.
Luffy licks egg yolk off his thumb and doesn’t look up from the deconstructed English muffin on his plate.
“Sanji can go without me,” he says.
If a train crashed through the front of the house, it probably would have startled Sanji less than that statement did. His phone chimes, reminding him of the car waiting for him outside, but he doesn’t seem to hear it.
“Okay,” the chef says, doing a decent job of sounding normal. “Are you coming by later?”
“Dunno,” Luffy replies. He has on a blank expression that all of his friends know better than to take at face value.
When Chopper first met them, the Portgas brothers lived in a cramped two-bedroom apartment that he remembers as bigger than it actually was. Ace was always a warm, laughing presence there, and never minded making room for yet another rowdy teenager in his busy life.
That was where it began. Those long summer afternoons crammed onto the sofa together, the late nights making a mess of the kitchen because someone couldn’t sleep. The apartment itself is long-gone, the whole building having been gutted and renovated a few years ago, but it’s where they started cultivating the idea of forever together.
It’s where Chopper first realized that home has nothing to do with walls and a roof.
Ace is present in this house, too. There are dog-eared books stacked on the shelf that he never finished before starting a new one, and a burnt-orange leather coat in the front closet that he found in a thrift store and shared custody of with Usopp and Nami, and fiery spices in the cupboard that Sanji only started experimenting with in his cooking as a teenager because their big brother preferred his food hot.
Sometimes it feels like he could just be in the next room; like they’d only have to walk down the hall to see him again.
It’s not good to stay cooped up here alone.
Zoro slides his phone out of his pocket and starts texting someone. Probably the director of the museum where he works. His coworker once said that Mihawk was more of an out-of-touch, weirdly overbearing dad than he was a boss.
At the time Zoro had disagreed out of principle, because he and Perona have fun getting on each other’s last nerve. But Chopper thinks she was right. Anyone else would have been fired by now with how many times Zoro has called in over the last horrible year.
Robin used to gently lecture him about work ethic, but she gave up on that ages ago. There isn’t a force on earth that could drag Zoro away from Luffy’s side on the bad days. Or even on the good ones, really. Zoro has never been confused about what his real job is.
Sanji’s phone chimes again. He seems to be frozen in the entryway. He looks like he doesn’t want to leave. He’s two years older than Luffy and Zoro, a year older than Nami and Usopp—which means that sometimes he gets all protective of them, the way everyone in their family sometimes gets protective of Chopper.
Zoro doesn’t always appreciate it. In fact, he rarely does. Chopper understands. There are times when he doesn’t appreciate it, either.
“Old man Zeff will be annoyed if you’re late,” Luffy says, finally looking up from his plate. “Take Zoro, too, okay? The museum is getting an important shipment today. Zoro needs to be there.”
It makes Chopper’s heart hurt, how bewildered Zoro looks. “I don’t care about that,” he says.
“Yes, you do,” Luffy replies frankly. “You and Robin talked about it for ages. Three swords from the sixteenth century, that’s what you said. They belonged to a famous warrior, and now they’re on loan from some super special martial arts museum in Japan, and you get to be the one to unpack them. So you’re gonna go do that.”
Chopper, who isn’t allowed to take more than three courses at a time, because Dr. Kureha is very protective of him in her own way and yells things like “you’re sixteen years old!” during their weekly phone calls when he timidly asks if he can take an extra biology class next term, pipes up, “I don’t have any lectures or labs today! I’ll be here!”
It’s meant to be reassuring, but instead Zoro and Sanji both look more troubled. When Sanji’s phone chimes one last time, he strides to the front door, yanks it open, and bellows, “Give me a fucking minute! God damn, just let the meter run, asshole!”
Luffy smiles, because he thinks everything his friends do is funny and charming, even when they’re being rude and inconveniencing complete strangers.
“Bring us something good to eat when you come home,” he says. It sounds like a casual thing to say, but it’s clearly his final word on the matter.
Their friends finally leave, with obvious reluctance, and Luffy sighs when they’re gone. It’s not a sigh of relief or exasperation, it's just a breath he was holding that he doesn’t have to hold anymore.
Down to the blood and bone and marrow of him, Luffy is a free spirit. There’s nothing he values more than independence and autonomy. He wants his loved ones to do exactly what they want to do at all times and nothing else.
So Chopper knows it’s been killing him to hold them back. Zoro doesn’t have a problem with skipping work, because he could get a million different jobs but there’s only one Luffy in the whole world. For him, that’s the simplest math there is.
The Luffy from a year and a month ago would have understood. He would have laughed at his friends’ transparent attempts to stay home with him and let them do whatever they wanted. He would have known that it was as much for their sake as it was his.
The Luffy from a year and a month ago hadn’t had this big awful hole carved into his life. He’s still learning his way around it. The map his mind knows to follow is still outdated in a few areas, still wired to take him places he can’t go anymore.
Grief upsets the chemistry of the brain. It alters neural pathways. Healing from that is complicated and backwards and sometimes it can be a lifelong process.
Luffy is the most perceptive person that Chopper has ever known, but he’s anxious now in a way he didn’t used to be. Doubts can creep up on him even here in their sunny kitchen.
Chopper won’t have his medical degree for years, but Luffy is good friends with somebody who already does. Which means that Chopper is good friends with that person, too. Which means he can pull out his phone while Luffy picks his way through the rest of his food and send a text that only says, Bad day. :(
Six minutes later, the reply comes back: Omw.
They’re piled on the sofa together, watching cartoon reruns, when the doorbell rings. Luffy tilts his head curiously, knowing very well that no one is supposed to be back home until lunch.
“Do you think Zoro skipped after all?” he asks blithely. “I’ll beat him up if he did.”
Chopper shakes his head without lifting it, cheek pressed against Luffy’s shoulder. He doesn’t want to spoil the surprise, which he definitely will do if he opens his mouth or makes eye contact.
The doorbell is just a formality; the person Chopper texted has a key.
When the door opens, muffled voices from outside become clearer, and the good-natured one-sided chatter that fills the entryway makes Chopper smile automatically at the same time that Luffy perks up and flings himself halfway over the back of the sofa in bald delight.
“Rosi!” he yells by way of hello.
“Luffy!” Rosinante yells back with equal enthusiasm. A second later he manages to trip over his own two feet, and his entire body slams into the entryway floor face-first. Everything standing on the console table by the door wobbles precariously and then falls on top of him.
The resounding silence that follows is broken by Luffy’s surprised laughter.
“Oh my god, Cora,” Law mutters, stooping to help him up.
“Are you okay?!” Chopper only just manages not to shriek. He’ll never get used to the way Rosinante can brush himself off and walk away from accidents that should have at the very least left him with a broken bone.
Sure enough, he says, “Ah, I’m fine, I’m fine,” followed by, “Oops, sorry,” when he sits up and nearly knocks the console table over with his shoulder.
Law’s dad is big and intimidating, ex-military with the build to prove it. But he’s very kind. Nami says too kind for his own good, whatever that means. And even though no one would ever assume he and Law were related, with the differences in their complexion and coloring and bone structure, it’s obvious they’re family. They think the world of each other.
Actually, Rosinante brags about Law so much that even Chopper gets tired of hearing about his medical accomplishments.
Luffy stretches his arms as far towards Law as they’ll go.
“Traffy, you came to visit! Who told you to? Was it Sanji?”
Law ignores him outright until Rosinante is back on his feet and steered safely into the living room, and only then does he drift casually into Luffy’s reach. He submits to the one-sided hug without enthusiasm, but if he really didn’t want it, he would have gone around the couch on the other side.
In a smoother lie by omission than Chopper would ever be capable of, Law says, “You think Sanji can tell me what to do?”
Luffy squeezes his friend one last time and then lets him go abruptly to round on Rosinante instead. The two of them lift their hands automatically to sign along as they talk. Luffy’s ASL is awkward and clumsy, still learning, while Rosinante’s hands only seem to move with any grace when he’s using them to speak with.
The white scars that wrap around Rosinante’s wrists are visible once he rolls his cuffs back to keep his sleeves out of the way. Luffy, whose own scar peeks out of the neck of his T-shirt, would never think to comment on something like that.
Usually, Chopper likes to practice ASL with them. Rosinante is a fun teacher. Instead, he follows Law into the adjoining dining room. Law brings work with him everywhere he goes, and he’ll sometimes let Chopper look at stuff if it isn’t confidential.
“Anything new at the Heart?” he asks, trying not to be nosy as Law opens his laptop. “Any new patients? Baffling new cases? Medical marvels?”
“No,” Law says. He pokes Chopper in the forehead, pushing his head away firmly. “My hospital isn’t a soap opera and you don’t work there yet.”
“Nothing exciting?”
“Not unless you think retrograde amnesia is exciting. Potential client came in yesterday to ask about outpatient physical therapy and meet the staff. He kept making jokes about the car that hit him when he was a child. Unfortunately, Shachi and Penguin thought he was hilarious.” He levels Chopper with a narrow-eyed stare before he can do more than open his mouth. “Finish med school and apply for residency at the Heart and then I’ll tell you all about it.”
Chopper’s mouth clicks shut. He slinks a little lower in his chair to sulk. “That’s forever from now. And you guys don’t even have a residency program.”
“We will when you apply for it,” Law replies evenly.
Warmth fills Chopper’s chest like his own personal miniature sun. You’d never guess how kind this reserved man was just by looking at him or even talking to him for a few minutes. It takes really knowing him to figure it out. Rosinante is silly and a total klutz and kind of scary at first just ‘cause he’s so big, but he must have been a great dad to grow up with. He did a good job with Law.
“Can I ask another question?” Chopper says shyly.
“Depends. Would answering it be a HIPAA violation?”
“What made you decide to be Luffy’s friend?” he blurts. “I mean, I’m glad you did! But you must have dozens of other patients. I’m sure you’ve helped survivors of accidents even worse than the one my big brothers were in. I know that Lu can be awfully stubborn, and he sort of latches onto the people he decides to keep, but you went along with it. You let him keep you.” Chopper rubs his fingers against the grain of the tabletop, not brave enough to look up. “I was just wondering why.”
“He reminded me of someone,” Law says, and puts his headphones on to work. It’s a dismissal if Chopper’s ever seen one, and as much of an answer as he’s likely to get.
When he reenters the living room, it’s to find Luffy grinning wildly, bright eyes flitting between Rosinante’s face and his hands as the man tells a rambling story about his latest in a long line of mishaps at work.
Hopping over Rosi’s long legs and throwing himself onto the couch next to Luffy, Chopper signs along as he says, “What’s so funny? What did I miss?”
Chopper was young when Dr. Hiriluk died, but he remembers every horrible second of all the days that came after. He remembers Dr. Kureha learning how to be the patient one, the gentle one, shouldering Hiriluk’s half of the job so that someone would be there to hold Chopper while he cried.
It’s a process, she would tell him. Any doctor worth their salt would say the same thing. It’s not a wound you can see, but it still needs to be treated. Give yourself a little grace.
Of all the lessons she taught him, that’s the one he keeps closest to his heart.
Chopper knows a lot about bad days. He and his family have lived through enough of them to become reluctant experts on the subject. He knows how it feels to suffer so acutely you can’t breathe, to hurt in the pit of your chest like you should be gushing blood, even if all the charts and x-rays and experts say you’re fine. He knows how senseless and unpredictable the pain can be, popping up when you least expect it, when you thought you were getting better.
But he knows about healing, too. He knows how to help. All he wants to do is help.
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“Passage” - Final Chapter is Up
Finally, the last chapter of passage has been posted on FanFiction.net.
Here is an excerpt from Chapter 25:
The dock was cramped with people jostling for a position to get a good view of those on deck while the ship's crew readied the ship to leave the port. Chatter filled the air along with the cacophonous squawking of gulls as they circled the fishing vessels that were hauling their catch to the docks.
A cool breeze swept over Matthew's face, carrying the briny scent of the sea along with it and he closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply. When he opened them, he spotted a familiar face in the bustling crowd and nudged Mary to follow his gaze.
"Darling, isn't' that Edith?" Matthew said, spying his sister-in-law breaking through the throng of people on the Southampton dock.
Following the direction of his gaze, Mary rose on her toes to get a better view and fixed her eyes on her sister, who was squeezing her body between a heavy-set man with a handlebar moustache and a slight young woman with strawberry blond hair.
it was no easy feat weaving through a throng this size and by the time she reached him and Mary, she was winded.
Offering the two of them a brief smile, Edith rasped, "I haven't had to do that in a while." Then recovering her breath, added, "By the size of the crowd, one would think a new ship was being launched."
"What are you doing here?" Mary asked without preamble. "You said you couldn't come because you had to attend an important meeting this morning."
Ignoring her sister's question, Edith's eyes narrowed, and she combed the deck, moving her gaze quickly from one passenger to another.
Knowing the ship would be leaving soon Mary sighed and said, "Never mind. You can explain later. The gangplank will be drawn soon. If you want to say 'goodbye' to Mama and Papa you had better hurry. There they are," she called out, pointing to the spot they occupied on deck.
XX
if you are a Matthew/Mary fan, I think you will enjoy this story.
It took me years to finally finish and seemingly endless hours of research as it is filled with historical references.
I hope you will take a look and let me know if you like it.
You can find it here:https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12865038/1/Passage
You can also find all my work by googling msmenna
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Hi ace ☺️!!!!! My fav trope is forced to watch/listen (especially if they are in the same room and whumper does nothing to the caretaker but keep asking them to reveal their secrets if they want it to stop 😏) but I cant find nearly enough of this trope
So if you know any media with this trope in it can you share ?🥰
(Also it has nothing to do with the ask but whenever I think of people outside of tumblr I imagine them with their pfp so your face is aaron in my mind sk3kdkdk 😅)
Mmmm yes that is a very good trope and yes it's also hard to find. Sometimes it pops up in fanfiction but off hand I can't think of any (I read so many it's hard to remember sometimes and I haven't updated my masterlist in a little while with tropes). Let me see what I got to rec.
My immediate thought was Chicago P.D. 3x01 when the team watches via video while Jay Halstead is beaten and tortured.
Hawaii Five-0 10x22 Steve is forced to watch a beaten and bloodied Danny through a video sent to him.
There's also this scene in Red Notice where the Rock and Ryan Reynolds are tied up and The Rock's character is tortured.
In Iron Man 3 Tony is forced to watch as Pepper is injected with Extremis
The Following 2x07 has a scene where Mike Weston is forced to watch
Stargate Atlantis 3x07 John is tortured and a video of it is shown to the team.
Stargate SG-1 5x07 Danny is forced to watch Jack be tortured
Legends of Tomorrow 1x05 Mike and Ray are tortured in front of Stein.
Arrow 1x18 Roy is tortured in front of the others via video.
Killjoys 1x05 D'Avin is tortured and Johnny watches the video
Graceland 1x08 Mike Warren is forced to watch and participate in torturing someone.
Falling Skies 5x05 has a great listening scene
Avengers Infinity War Loki watches as Thor gets tortured
Teen Wolf 3x04 Derek is tortured by the Alpha pack while his sister Cora has to watch
A Discovery of Witches 3x06 Matthew is tortured in front of Diana
Hudson & Rex 3x09 when Charlie is buried alive and the team is shown him via live video
Sense8 2x11 (finale) when Wolfgang is captured and tortured
NCIS 3x08 when Tony gets beaten in front of Ziva and NCIS 7x01
9-1-1 5x17 when Chim is tortured in front of Hen
Also, to your last point, that's so funny and I honestly do the same thing and I'm honored to be seen as just Aaron Tveit running this blog lol.
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