#Tommy Lee angst

[urnothere12]

I NEED me some angst so can you do tommy lee x fem reader arguing plaesssssssss

Hiiii I’m sorry it’s late but here it is hope you enjoy it 💋💋

Dinner Argument

Words: 303

Warnings: *angst* *fluff* *cussing*

You and Tommy are amid a nasty argument that all started over a small setback to your guys’ plans for going out to dinner. You and Tommy are mad at each other. You guys are arguing over a dinner reservation and you both failed to clear your misunderstandings.

“Fuck you Tommy your an asshole!” You yell at him. 

“Well, it's not my fault that you fucking forgot what time we were supposed to go” Tommy argues/

“I wish you were more responsible. Tommy your such a kid!” You yell.

You decide to stop talking to Tommy and walk to the bedroom. You slam the bedroom door shut.

“Don't you dare slam the goddamn door again Y/N!”

“You are not my parents Tommy! You out of all people don't get to tell me what to do!” Your yelling is muffled by the bedroom door being shut.

Tommy feels very hurt after you said that but he ignores your words. 

“Whatever, Y/N enjoy being alone!” Tommy says as he grabs his car keys.

Tommy starts to walk out the door and he unlocks his car and he drives off. Tommy comes back after a couple of hours. He knocks on the bedroom door where you're lying down right now. 

“Babe,” Tommy says softly. 

“What is it, Tommy?”  You ask dryly.

He opens the bedroom door and he enters. He sits down on the edge of the bed where you're lying down.

“Babe I'm sorry,” He says softly.

“I'm sorry too Tommy I don’t know what we were thinking” you reply sounding as if you're about to cry.

“Yeah, it was a stupid small argument” Tommy smirks.

You sit up and you put your head on Tommy's shoulder. 

“How should I make it up babe?” you ask him.

“Let's just cuddle,” He says innocently.

[meikadonnelly]

|| nikki sixx || part 2 ||

part 1 here

nikki sixx x fem!reader

you run into an old friend…

angst

trigger warnings : swearing, arguing, yelling, screaming, very light physical violence from reader.

part 3?

Over the next few days, you don’t see Nikki. Which is good.

Right?

“What’re you thinking about?” Kylie asks from next to you as you both stand behind the bar. You had filled her in on what was going on after you came back from talking to him the other day, and now she was onto you more than a mother to her rebellious teenager.

“I think you know what I’m thinking about,” you say as you wipe down the counter in front of you, glancing around the quiet building occasionally. She tilts her head as she watches you, her eyes narrowed slightly as she thinks.

“You wanna talk to him again?” she asks softly, even though she knows the answer.

“No,” you reply quickly. Maybe a little too quickly because straight away, you start to rethink your answer. “I don’t know,” you mutter.

She turns her whole body to face you properly, one of her hands on the counter as she leans on it and the other on her hip. “It’s okay if you do.”

You nod. “I know,” you say quietly. “I just don’t know if I can handle being around him again.” You sigh and throw the rag you were using, into the sink next to you before rubbing your forehead with the back of your hand.

“There’s no harm in trying,” Kylie says which makes you look at her. “If it doesn’t go well, things will go back to how they were a week ago, and if it all ends up okay, well you can get to know him again.”

You know she’s right, and you know you should probably talk to him again, but you don’t feel like giving the satisfaction to either of them. You brush past her to go serve a perfectly-timed customer.

“We’ll see.”

Later that night, it’s starting to get busier and you’re serving drinks behind the bar with Kylie and another worker, Andy. You finish making a drink for a customer and take the cash he slides across the counter as a group of guys walk up to the bar, laughing and talking with each other. You open the register and put the cash inside before you turn and look to find three of them. One blond, the other two with dark hair.

“What can I get you boys?” you ask, moving to stand in front of them while yelling a little due to the crowded space. The taller dark haired man is still laughing at something while the other dark haired man, who seems a bit older, is shaking his head.

“Two jack and cokes,” the blond one says, turning his attention to you. “And a vodka lemonade.”

You nod, grab three glasses and turn around to grab the liquor from the shelf behind you. Once you turn back around, Kylie comes over to grab two glasses for her current customers.

“Just had the worst customer,” she says while looking down at what she’s doing. You laugh a little.

“Difficult or creepy?” you ask, glancing at her.

“Both,” she answers, shaking her head and also turning to the shelf behind you. You laugh again before the blond man speaks up once more.

“Can I get another jack and coke to go with those?” he asks.

“Yeah, no problem,” you reply, not looking up, instead reaching for another glass. You keep talking with Kylie as she makes her drinks next to you until she eventually walks off about 2 minutes later and you’re left on your own. You sit two of the finished drinks up on the bar in front of the blond man as he, and the other two guys, yell out to someone who you can’t see. After a second, another person walks up to their group as you keep focused on the drinks.

Once the last two drinks are finished, you sit them on the bar before Kylie yells out to you.

“We got any more of that expensive whiskey?” she asks, looking at you.

“Ran out yesterday and don’t get any more until next week,” you reply. She nods and turns her attention back to her customer so you do the same and look back to the guys in front of you. You go to speak but instead you finally lay eyes on the person who just turned up.

Fuck.

Nikki sees you and nods awkwardly.

You give him a tight lipped smile and glance back to the blond. “You boys wanting to start a tab?” you ask, still feeling Nikki’s eyes burning into you, like they did the other day.

“That’d be great sweetheart,” he replies with a small smirk.

A few hours later, after the kitchen closes and the restaurant section of the bar turns into a seating area for bar customers, you grab a black tray and tuck it under your arm. You walk out from behind the bar and look around to see if anyone’s drinks are low until you hear a high pitched whistle from behind, so you turn around and see the blond man from earlier, waving you over. You take a deep breath before faking a smile and walking over to them.

“Everything okay over here?” you ask politely.

“Just wanting another round of drinks,” he replies.

“Sure thing, same as before?” you check to which he nods. “I’ll be right back.”

You smile and walk back to the bar to start making their four drinks when someone walks up to the bar. You look up to see Nikki.

“I know you don’t want to talk to me right now,” he starts.

“You’re right, I don’t.”

He sighs and you feel a slight pang of guilt shoot through your chest.

Too harsh?

“I’m not trying to piss you off, I just want to sort this out so we can move on,” he explains. You keep making their drinks as you listen and think about how to handle the situation while he watches you silently. After you place the liquor you were pouring, back on the shelf, you look at him.

“I have a day off tomorrow,” you tell him and you watch his face light up ever so slightly before you grab a pen and your notepad from your apron. He continues to watch you while you lean on the bar counter in front of him.

You write down an address and apartment number on Larrabbee street, which branches off Sunset Strip boulevard, near The Whiskey, and rip it off the notepad before holding it out to him.

He looks at it for a second before finding your gaze. “I’ll come around,” he says with a small, hopeful smile.

He walks back to his booth and you soon follow, holding your black tray, with four drinks balanced on top. You give one to each of them and the blond man glances at your small name tag which is pinned to your chest.

“Pretty name doll,” he says with the same smirk that seems to be permanently on his face.

“Thank you,” you say, maintaining a polite composure.

“Dude, stop flirting with the waitress,” the younger, dark haired man comments which makes you laugh a little. “She’s trying to do her job.”

The blond guy looks at him and rolls his eyes. “Fuck off man, like you don’t flirt with every second girl you see.”

“If you boys don’t need anything else, I’m gonna go serve some other customers,” you say softly, interrupting them. All four of them look at you and you meet Nikki’s eyes, which have a different level of light to them after you gave him your address. He cocks his head sideways, telling you to go and you feel a small smile creep onto your face as you walk away.

The next day, you wake up at around 11am and the first thing on your mind is the fact that Nikki will be knocking on your door in the next few hours.

As you make a cup of coffee in your small kitchen area of your little apartment, you glance up at the front door a couple of times, letting thoughts fill your mind, before shaking your head and looking back down at the dark brown liquid filling your cup.

Over the next few hours, your mind runs wild thinking about every possible outcome of you and Nikki talking.

Will it be an argument? Will it just end up like it did last time?

Knock knock.

“Shit,” you mutter as you nearly jump out of your own skin when the sound of knocking snaps you out of your thoughts. You quickly stand up and walk to the door, placing your hand on the knob gently, but not quite turning it yet.

You take a deep breath and close your eyes for a second.

It’s gonna be fine.

The fresh air hits your face as you open the door slowly to find Nikki standing in front of you. He looks nervous, but also happy to be there.

“Hey,” you finally say quietly.

“Hey,” he replies, matching your volume. You look at him for a second before stepping to the side, one hand still on the knob, the other on the edge of the door.

“Come in,” you say which makes him suck in a deep breath. He then slowly walks in and glances around while you shut the door.

“Nice place,” he says as you walk up beside him. “Better than my shitty apartment anyway.”

“I don’t doubt that,” you say, a slight smile on your face as you joke. He never was the type to keep his room nice, let alone a whole apartment.

He looks down at you next to him with a smile, liking the fact that you’re teasing him a little, but you walk forward into the kitchen area before he can speak again. You open the refrigerator and take a bottle of water from inside, since the tap water in your apartment tastes so bad that you’d rather drink from the toilet.

“We have to fix this,” Nikki says from behind you, on the other side of the kitchen counter. You close the refrigerator door and sigh.

“I know.”

He watches as you turn to face him, however your eyes are focused on the counter in front of you. His eyes drift down to your hands, which are resting on top of it, for a moment before he redirects his attention back to your face.

“I never meant to hurt you,” he says softly, “You know that.”

“But you did,” you reply quietly, already feeling your voice threatening to shake. You glance up to see his eyebrows furrowed slightly and his arms folded across his chest, so you look back down to the bottle of water still sitting in front of you.

“I know that how I handled the situation back then was wrong. I shouldn’t have left like I did,” he tells you. “But when I saw the opportunity… I just couldn’t ignore it.”

You listen to his words as he explains, and you feel your body filling with emotions, despite the wishes you made earlier that this wouldn’t happen.

“Five years Nikki. Five whole years that I never heard from you,” you state, finally meeting his eyes properly, which are now full of regret.

“I know,” he mutters. “After the first month or so of being here, the novelty wore off, and I regretted doing what I did. I couldn’t think of how to explain myself because I knew that it would have affected you in some way.”

“Affected me?” you question, your voice finally starting to crack. “Nikki, it broke me.”

He runs his hands through his black hair when he hears your words. “I didn’t think about that when I left.”

“Clearly,” you say somewhat sarcastically, because you would rather be angry than emotional, which makes him frown.

“Hey, you think it didn’t affect me either?” he asks, his voice starting to become defensive. “I also lost my best friend that day,” he states, pointing to himself.

You stare at him, your anger starting to bubble along with his. “And who put us in that situation?”

“I’m owning up to it alright? I’m taking responsibility.”

“You should have done that five years ago,” you tell him.

“I was 17!” he argues.

“So was I!” you yell, throwing your hand into the air. He doesn’t say anything after that, instead he just watches you. You look down and take a few breaths before speaking.

“I think we’re done here,” you say and he frowns again.

“What? No, we’re not done,” he retaliates.

“Yes,” you say, “We are.”

He doesn’t move as you walk around the counter towards him. “You need to go,” you state which causes his frustration to sky rocket.

“Hold on, I’m not the one who refused to fix this mess when we finally had the chance,” he says which makes you stop.

“So you’re saying this is my fault?”

“No, I’m saying that you need to stop holding grudges against people for things that happened in the past,” he states, his tone laced with annoyance. You cross your arms.

Is he serious?

“Excuse me?” you question, not believing what you’re hearing.

“Nothing is ever going to get fixed if you’re closed off,” he says which makes your anger boil to the surface.

“You can’t talk to me about being closed off, this is not my fault,” you state angrily, knowing he’s a very closed off person himself. “And you need to stop being such a child.”

“I’m the one who wanted to be the mature adult and sort this out,” he defends, his nostrils flaring as he clenches his jaw. “You were the one that apparently couldn’t live without me looking after you all the time.”

“I was fine on my own Nikki,” you state.

“Bullshit, you couldn’t live on your own even if you wanted to,” he says. As soon as those words leave his mouth, your final straw breaks and you see red, and he knows he shouldn’t have said it.

“Get out.”

His anger turns to regret and he puts his hands up in front of him defensively.

“Wait no, I’m sorry-“

“Get out of my fucking apartment,” you spit. He shakes his head and screws his face up slightly.

“No I didn’t mean to-“

Before he can finish, he’s stumbling backwards after you push him in the chest.

“What the fuck,” he mutters, looking at you as your chest heaves. You wait for him to walk out but he stays put, so you run at him again, but this time, he’s prepared and he grabs both your wrists.

“Get out!” you scream, your voice being overtaken by emotion. He keeps a hold of you as you start punching his chest, still yelling at him to leave and at this point, there are tears streaming down your face.

“Hey,” he says softly, but loud enough for you to hear. You ignore him and keep trying to fight. He sighs. “Hey,” he repeats. You try to ignore him but your body soon starts to give up, the adrenaline leaving your body just as quick as it came. You keep trying to throw punches at his chest but at this point, they’re just small movements that aren’t even close to making contact.

Your head drops and you finally start to sob. Nikki tilts his head to the side to try and catch a glimpse of your face while he speaks. He says your name softly but when you don’t look up, he lets go of your wrists and his hands trail up your arms to your shoulders. He squeezes them gently and you finally look up at him, your eyes red and your hair disheveled.

“This is more than you being angry at me,” he says quietly. You blink slowly as you process what he’s said. “Talk to me.”

He holds eye contact for a few seconds and when he realises you aren’t going to answer him, he sighs and pulls you to his chest. He expects you to either push him away or even just feel tense in his arms, but you don’t.

You’re just too tired to fight him anymore.

You stay like this for a while until he breaks the silence and speaks. “I’ll come back another time and we’ll talk,” he says. You take a deep breath.

“Okay.”

taglist for those who asked for a part two: @sourwolf-32 @miaanaisssss @samcaniglia

[skinomyteethh]

Nikki Sixx x reader fanfic? Can be anything :)

mistakes

pairing: nikki sixx x fem! reader

summary; overcoming addiction is hard, especially when you feel like you're in an overwhelming, somewhat lonely place.

contains/warnings; substance abuse i think, nikki relapsing, slight angst?, etc.

authors note; HIIII TYSM FOR REQUESTING!!! I really hope you like this, I honestly didn't know how to end it and it may be all over the place, I haven't written in a WHILEEEEE. also theres some hidden message in the but i cant put it into words rn lolol!

⁶𖤐⁶

moet et chandon decorated the large, wooden cabinets of the dining room, making it look beautifully elegant and sophisticated. the variety of random desserts and pastries made her think of marie antoinette's famous but factitious phrase 'let them eat cake!'

[name] hummed, carefully fixing the flowers in the vases which sat in the middle of the long dining table. it was unlike any other gathering or party Nikki and [name] had ever hosted or gone to. it was unlike the usual rock 'n' roll scene filled with endless booze and random naked women.

as the people began to arrive, the atmosphere was extraordinarily nice. people well versed in etiquette filled the room, cigar smoke lingered throughout the air. nikki shifted uncomfortably in his seat, looking around, somewhat nervous. it was unusual of him to be so quiet, so reserved. a small smile spread across his face upon seeing his wife 'in her element'

yet, nikki felt as if he didn't belong there, it was too calm, too relaxed for his liking and what he was use to.

just before the dessert was served he excused himself, walking towards the stairs of his rather luxurious house. nikki entered the master bedroom, opening the multiple dresser drawers frantically searching, for something that would take these feelings away, heroin.

he grasped the medical grade needle, leaning against the bed, ripping the cap of the needle off. nikki opened the bottom drawer of the bedside table, grabbing a somewhat long piece of rope, tying it around his upper arm. nikki took a deep breath, sighing in ecstasy as the needle and the continents of the needle flowed into his veins.

nikki laid his head down against the mattress, closing his eyes. [name] felt somewhat confused, nikki had been gone for far too long. she pranced upstairs, pulling the hem of her dress up as to not step on it. sounds of vomiting could be heard from inside the master bedroom, she knew exactly what that meant, exactly what nikki had been doing.

she quietly entered the bedroom, leaning over and glancing into the connected bathroom. nikki's head hung over the toilet bowl as he once again began vomiting, it was the aftermath of the heroin. [name] glanced down at the ground, picking up the discarded needle, throwing it into the trash can by the vanity.

the loud and unexpected sound of the needle clashing against the metal trash can scared nikki, he haphazardly stood up, his expression filled with worry as he spotted her sitting on the surprisingly neat bed. nikki had broken his promise.

on the day of their wedding he promised he would quit and even go to rehabilitation, but now he had broken his promise and it seemed to have shattered her heart. nikki cautiously inched closer to her, attempting to somehow be able to explain the situation.

"[name] I...." he was caught off by her abrupt movement as she tilted her head up to look at him, though the look om her face did not radiate anger nor frustration, it radiated disappointment but she also seemed somewhat understanding. "why nikki..?" she questioned, her tone was soft and once again the disappointment was evident.

he looked down at the carpet before looking back up at her, sighing before he parted his lips, beginning to speak. "I felt overwhelmed, I didn't know what to do. I felt like I didn't belong there.."

a calm and sophisticated scenery was not what he was use to, it made him feel like an outsider, a weirdo.

nikki glanced back down at the carpet, he excepted her to lash out at him, scream at him for slipping up, but she didn't, instead he felt her arm wrap around him securely and lovingly, he laid his head down on her shoulder, sighing.

[name] seemed to somewhat understand him, her hand gently caressed his upper arm before she freed him from her grasp, speaking once again. "I know quitting isn't easy, and as you begin sometimes you'll slip up unintentionally." she glanced over at the doorway, sighing deeply before placing a soft, quick kiss on his lips.

[madiisixx]

Naked and Bare | Current! Tommy Lee x Reader

Summary: you asked Your husband to be more dominant with you in the bedroom.

AUTHORS NOTE: I've never written for Tommy before so if this is trash, I sincerely apologize in advance. This is also shorter because I made it into a blurb rather than a full blown fic.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

GIF by deakysblueoutfit

Butterflies in your tummy is all you felt in this moment.

you asked for it and you may regret it later but right now? Oh, it felt so good.

Your husband Plowing into you from behind, one hand pulling on your hair and another around your stomach to keep you up right.

Sloppy kisses filled your ears and Heavy pants came from your lips, "Tommy more please" 

He chuckled and leaned his lips right next to your ear. "My sweet baby wants more yeah? I'll give her more."

And with those next words, high pitched moans and gasps fell from your lips. He started to plow into you faster than before and the thrusts of his hips had you bouncing back onto him.

Sweet moans fell from his lips and he grunted, leaning his back against you. "I can feel you starting to get close baby, you gonna cum for daddy?"

You moan loudly and gasps into his ears, "Fuck yes! I'm gonna cum daddy please!"

He reaches around and brings his hand down to your clit and starts rubbing it in time to match his thrusts.

Reaching your own hands up to your chest, you squeeze them and pull on your nipples for some extra stimulation.

Tommy groaned at the sight and his thrusts started to get sloppy, "baby if you don't cum soon, I'm gonna blow my load." 

you giggled, but soon the giggles turn into screaming moans as he picked up his pace once again.

Clenching down around him hard, you started to see starts behind your eyes. "Oh Tommy! Oh my god!"

He panted and sweat started to drip down onto his face, he reached his hand up into your hair and pulled it back hard enough towards him it made you explode around him instantly.

"Fuck yeah! look at that baby, you're so sexy Cumming on me like that fuck!"

All you felt were stars behind your eyes, you didn't even notice that Tommy was right behind you in ecstacy.

One last thrust and a groan in your ear, you felt his seed paint your walls, him groaning into your ear.

He chuckled and wiped the tears of pleasure from your eyes, "My sweet baby, such a good girl for me."

Taglist: @tlclick73

Comment below to be a part of the tag list!

[munsons-melody]

no because why does tommy lee have the same face as the dad from zack and cody

[electronicnutcycle]

Hiii, how you doin? I hope you still take requests for Motley Crue, i kind of have an idea in mind lol. Basically the reader is Tommy's younger sister who has a huge crush on Vince and one time the two of them (reader and Vince) hook up and Tommy finds out. And he's like pissed as hell cause he's protective. Sooooo angsty but kind of a fluffy ending idk how to explain 😭🙏 I hope it's not too complicated. Love ya and thanks! 💋

Description: You're Tommy Lee's younger sister , one day he brings the band over to practice and you immediately started to crush on Vince Neil , the lead vocalist. You two started having sex at a party and as the months went on , you continue to have sex with him. One day though tommy finds out and goes BALLISTIC on Vince.

Pairing: Vince Neil x reader

Warnings: Mentions of sex , angst but the story ends with fluff , etc. (lmk if i miss something)

It all started when your older brother , Tommy Lee brought over his fellow bandmates for band practice and as you laid eyes on the lead vocalist Vince Neil. You had immediately fallen in love with Vince , but whenever you tried to talk to Vince or any of the other members of the band that wasn't him , he would quickly shut down the conversation and tells you to piss off. Despite the warnings by your brother to never flirt to his bandmates , let alone even talk to them . but here you are at a party , which was usual for the band at this point and time , having sex with the lead vocalist and very much enjoying it. The next day you woke up in his bed , realizing this you smirked knowing damn well that my brother would be pissed .

Luckily you had gotten home before anyone had noticed that you weren't home last night . Yet as the months went on and you and Vince continued to fuck you both started to get cocky and started trying less to hide what you two were doing which was your undoing. Because one day as you two were starting to hook up , you were caught mid hook up by Tommy and lets just say , chaos ensued. In a split of a second , Tommy had punched Vince square in the jaw and as the blonde fell back in shock , Tommy pounced onto him and continued to throw punches and scratch at Vince. For a few seconds you were frozen in shock , but immediately you jumped into action by coming between the two men . Which wasn't a good idea in hindsight as they were angry men who were twice as tall but it worked as the two men stopped throwing punches upon seeing you in between them. Tension and adrenaline were thick in the air , the only sound was heavy breathing. A few minutes go by and Tommy storms out of the bathroom without a word, you sigh as you bend down to the cabinet under the sink to get the first aid kit knowing that Vince and Tommy would need it.

After you fixed up Vince you and the blonde , who you advised to stay behind you just in case it got messy again . When you two found where Tommy was , he looked worse for wear despite being the one to start the fight. Before you entered the room where Tommy was , you looked back at Vince and motioned for him to stay back. As you entered the room where the brunette was with the first aid kit in hand , you finally got a good look at him and saw the bloody nose , scratches and the bruises that were starting to form. "Hey Tom" you whispered as you sat down Infront of him “hey” . Whilst you took care of him and chat you found out that what you already knew . Tommy is just a protective brother who didn’t want his bandmates to hurt his little sister . Eventually Vince came in and luckily no other fights started . After some time you had finally bandaged both of them up and they mend up and Tommy allowed Vince and you to date and have sex without beating each other up about it , of cause only if he doesn’t break your heart.

A/N: Thank you anon for the request I honestly loved writing it and I hope you and anyone who reads this enjoys it . So sorry for it being posted late the last few days of mental health and writers block has been beating me to a pulp , but here it is!.

[hufflepuffimagines]

⋆｡°✩ Navegation ✩°｡⋆

⋆ About Me  ⋆

I’m Bella, I’m 21 yo and I’m brazilian, I write since I was 11, I can’t say that I do it perfectly but I try. I’m obssessed with 80s rockstar, specially Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee. I’m a swifitie and I’m going to the Eras Tour in november. I love writing fluffy stories, mostly because it makes me imagine what I’d like my life to be, with that in mind, I can say that I’m trying to shift to my Selection DR, but never made it. I love Barbie, Monster High and these things, I love pink and I can honestly say that I’m a Barbie that is obssessed with rockstars. I don’t have much friends and I’d love to get to know you if you want to talk :)

⋆ You can find my prompt list here (I’ll be adding more to it during the week);

⋆ If you want to be part of my taglist, answer this form;

(that’s me everyday, not my gif)

IMPORTANT THINGS:

⋆ Character List ⋆

Conrad Fisher (The Summer I Turned Pretty);

Sky of Eraklyon (Fate: The Winx Saga);

Marcus Baker (Ginny and Georgia);

Nikki Sixx (Motley Crue/The Dirt);

Tommy Lee (Motley Crue/The Dirt);

Edward Cullen (Twilight);

Maxon Schreave (The Selection);

Troy Bolton (High School Musical);

Paul Stanley (KISS);

Nate Archibald (Gossip Girl);

Slash (Guns N Roses);

Ricky Bowen (HSMTMTS);

Cedric Diggory (Harry Potter);

80s Rockstars (You can specify which one in your request);

Jeremiah Fisher (The Summer I Turned Pretty) (ONLY BY REQUEST).

⋆ How to Request ⋆

In order to request from a prompt list, you need to specify the sentence number;

You can choose up to three sentences from this list;

Remember to include the character’s full name/fandom for clarification!

You can also request another sentence that is not in this list and headcanons!

• Optional: You can add ‘angst’, ‘fluff’, etc… since some can work different ways.

Exemple: Conrad Fisher, prompt 7, fluff

⋆ Rules for Request ⋆

Send requests any time, i just dont guarantee that i’ll be writing it as soon as it arrives

Send the request on the ask box;

Don’t send vague requests, be specific. I like to work with a lot of details, it makes the story more realistic;

I have the ability to deny and delete any requests I don't want to write;

When I post your request, I will tag you.

✔  I write   ✔

Reader insert (character x reader); Fluff, angst, crossovers, songfics, AUs; Some sensitive subjects (depression, anxiety…); Male x male, female x female or any sort of pairing. love is love, you know; Any disabilities, body types, etc. when specified.

❌  I don’t write ❌  

Smut, cheating, polyship; Anything that goes against representation; Romantic stuff with adult/teen characters;   Character x character* and other people’s OCs; NSFW themes; RPF (real people fiction); Any form of incest.

If you have any questions, DM me, I would be happy to talk to you!

[sucker4sixx]

Relight my fire

Pt.1

PLOT: you reconnect with your childhood friend and feelings resurface..

WARNINGS: mention of drugs, angst

The sun shines through the dusty blinds in your bedroom, recently you and Nikki had gotten back into contact and you were staying at his house so he didnt relapse due to his divorce.

You were childhood friends, you both met when you were 3, your parents close friends but when he turned 20 and he started becoming a rockstar he drifted. He became mean and aggressive and with a heavy heart you removed yourself from his life. 15 years later nikkis divorced and trying not to run back to herion so in a desperate attempt in saving himself he reaches out to you, finding your number somehow. You didnt have anything going on so agreed to move to hollywood. His house was gorgeous, medieval and made of stone with one huge bedroom (his) and a normal sized guest bedroom (your new bedroom).

You leave your room, taking a quick glance at the clock ‘12:36’ “fuck im lazy” you mutter to yourself, the cold stone on your toes reminding you of the blossoming winter outside. You get to the kitchen and look around for your tall, quite scary, friend, you look out the garden window to see him sitting on a bench with a cigarette placed between his lips, a somber look plastered onto his handsome face. He glances over and sees you watching him so you decide it would be weird if you didnt come out. Slipping on your slippers you head out to the cold garden where the smell of nikki and tobacco linger in the air, you sit beside him and chitter softly, the cold morning air nipping your soft skin.

Youve secretly had a thing for nikki, even as dumb kids. It became a trend for you to make a move the moment he gets a girlfriend. Seeing him again brought back all these feelings but you tred carefully knowing hes just freshly divorced.

“Morning Nikki..” you speak softly like if you spoke any louder it would hurt him “morning doll” he speaks in the same tone, blowing smoke out and letting it curl around you both “why arent you wearing a jacket? Its freezing.” He tilts his head, noticing your goose bumps.

“I just… i dont know..” you trail off, things havent been the same between you two, infact it was quite awkward. “Take this” he takes off his heavy leather jacket and places it round your shoulders, exposing his chest with his white vest top. “You really didnt have to but, thanks” you smile, discreetly smelling it to take in his smell “dont smell it you creep” he laughs and pokes your belly softly to make you laugh “i wasnt!” You laugh and squirm causing nikki to poke your sides till you stand up “go.. go inside and make me a cup of coffee or ill tickle you more” he smirks and you groan like a child, dragging your feet into the kitchen.

He returns and you place his cup of coffee infront of him “here.. for the princess” you smirk, he takes it and sips the bitter liquid, grinning “perfect, doll.. perfect” he trails off before kissing your cheek, heading to the couch. You follow him with your own cup and sit beside him as he flicks through channels “its weird seeing you smoking.. you were always so against it” you add quietly and he glances to you “yeah well.. people change” he dampens your comment and you both go quite. “You too.. you’ve changed” he pats your thigh “i have?” You tilt your head and give an unsure smile, not sure if he means that in a good or bad way “you sure have little missy.. in a good way, your funny and genuine and pretty and-“ you cut him off “you think im pretty?” Nikki goes red and rolls his eyes “yeah.. of course i do” he looks away, feeling alittle embarrassed.

The next night you and nikki decide to go for drink, you both take numerous shots and loose eachother on the dance floor, the music pulsing through your intoxicated body as your legs fail you, stumbling around just to fall into the arms of someone. “Hey! Sweetheart, you okay?!” Nikki shouts to you, when you look up to see its him you let yourself melt into his chest, he laughs and picks you up, walking you both to the front door for some fresh air and some room to speak.

He places you on one of the cold steps beside him and you rest on his shoulder as he lights himself a cigarette “your fucked, doll” he laughs “i-im.. not.. “fucked” you idiot” you slur and giggle, his arm wrapping round your shoulders “how did you even get so drunk, we drank the same amount?” He squeezes your cheek and you hide your face into his side “dont do that.. its adorable” he leads your face up to meet his with his finger, smiling at you “im not adorable” you give a drunk smile “how about i drink more to catch you up then we head home, hm?” He stands up and leaves you at the step before you could say anything, returning 10 minutes later after downing many shots, its not hit yet. “Cmon doll, lets go home” he picks you up, carrying you to the line of waiting taxis that park outside of the club.

You both sit in the taxi as it heads home, nikki stroking your hair “do you.. still think im pretty?” You ask him drunkly, nikki smiles, his voice dropping “your still talking about this? Well, for the record yeah.. i think your gorgeous” he smirks “gorgeous…” you trail off, repeating his word as you feel your cheeks burning up. Nikkis hand moves to hold your cheek and suddenly his lips catch your eyes, they look so god damn good. “Stop staring at my lips..” he smirks, his cheeks starting to go alittle red too “i cant help it nikki.. i.. ive always-“

“Dont.. dont confess to anything just.. shh”

“Please, Nikki i cant pretend anymore”

“No, cmon dont do this” he pleads, not wanting things to get awkward between you two but you cant help it, you move your hand to his cheek but he turns his head to the other side “How long..?” He closes his eyes “how long have you felt this way?” He opens his gorgeous green eyes that search yours “years.. since i was a kid nikki, too long” you try to move in to kiss him but he holds you back, desperation that shocks you both fills your vains and when nikki sees the look in your eyes he moves forward, letting his tongue crash with yours as his large hand grips your hair softly, moans escaping both your lips. “Thats us” the taxi says, breaking off the kiss.

You both enter the house, shame and embarrassment filling the air as you remove your shoes, you feel his long arms snaking around your waist as your hands feel the hair on them. “Ive felt the same too.. you know” he whispers into your ear, his hot breath making itself comfortable in the crook of your neck. “Ive always wanted to just hold you and feel you. It never seemed like the right time” he growls softly and you rest your head back onto his shoulder, opening your neck to his kisses that start gently pecking the skin there. “Why didnt we ever talk about this?” You whisper back. “As i said.. never the right time”

“Is now the right time?” You ask, looking into his eyes as his gaze saddens, he steps back “no.. no its not” he walks away into his room, leaving you confused. You walk to the corridor between both of your rooms, you linger at his door before deciding against knocking and going back to your own room.

You spend the rest of the night, tossing and turning, missing the feeling of his warm body holding you…

[bloozers]

About me !!!

I don’t write fics sorry 🥲

Hi! I’m blaze , I’m 18 and I’m from New Zealand! 🇳🇿 I enjoy music I play instruments such as: electric guitar , bass guitar , and a bit of piano? I also skateboard and I do art. I’m autistic and I’m bisexual my pronouns are she/her :3

My fav things are: music , cooking , the sims , art and Metalocalypse

[azurezfiction]

Fluff prompts #1 and You're all I ever think about dialogue Tommy/Jason.

If you are comfortable writing those characters. I didn't really watch much after MMPR so I can't really get into the mindset of the newer characters. I can't do them justice.

“𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩…” 𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙛𝙛 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙨 | @ajgrey9647

“You’re all I ever think about.”

Tommy pauses briefly from his book, glancing up at Jason and gave a bit of a cocky smile. “I’d better be. After all, I am your husband,” He comments teasingly. I”d be worried if I wasn’t on your mind all the time.”

“Ass.” Jason remarks.

Tommy leans back in the chair. “I’m your ass.”

“Don’t you mean that your ass is mine?” Jason jokes with a chuckle. The round of laughter quotes slightly, the video call quiets the two sitting in the respected rooms. His hand reaches out touching the screen. “I miss you.”

“...I miss you too, Jase.” Tommy whispers.”I’d give anything to be with you right now. But.. I-I can’t leave Reefside. Not right now.”

Jason closes his eyes with a bitter smile. “I know. Damn Mesogog.”

“The new team, my students-”

“Your kids?” Jason interjects.

Tommy rolls his eyes. “If they are mine kids, that means they are yours too.”

“Does that mean I’m the fun dad and your the stuffy Dad?”

“I’m fun!” Tommy defends.

Jason’s smile turned lecherous. “In more ways than one. Especially in the bedroom!”

“Jason!”

“But seriously, I can’t wait to meet the new kids. Especially my successor,” Jason says warmly. “But… no pink?”

Tommy shakes his head. “The Dino Gems I found were Red, Blue, Yellow, Black and White. No Pink. No Green. No Gold or any other colour.”

“At least you only have to look after five starving teenagers instead of six,” Jason quips.

“Don’t remind me. I have to keep telling Conner to stop eating the food in my fridge,” Tommy groans.

“Sounds like my kinda of kid. Can’t wait to meet them.”

“And I can’t wait to see you again,” Tommy whispers. “I miss you so much.”

“I miss you too Tommy. I’ll try to stop by when I can, just… be safe okay?”

Tommy touches the screen. HIs expression is soft, and warm. “Always. You too. I love you Jason.

“I love you too Tommy Oliver-Scott. Always.”

"You too Jason Scott-Oliver."

The distance might have been long, but their hearts were close together. Always.

[arrow487356]

Hybrid Motley Crue accidentally injures you.

Cw: angst, Trauma, injuries.

Tommy Lee

He was in a very hyper mood today and well he was running around and making some mess. While your in the kitchen you were making some food, he comes in basically bouncing like he’s on a trampoline. He looks at you smiling widely. “Let’s play!” He’s says loudly. It makes you look up from the cookbook. You shake you head. “Tommy no, not right now. I’m making us lunch.” He frowns and comes over.

He didn’t want to take no as an answer right now so he picks you up and carries you out of the kitchen. You try to get out of his hold and he drops you down. “Come on Y/N let’s play chase.” He says his dog tail was wagging wildly. You stare up at him and you try to walk away shaking your head hoping he Will understand but he didn’t so he pulls you back quickly. “Play!” He says a bit louder. “Tommy not right now.” He starts to get angry and his claws dig into your arm on accident. “Play!!” He says louder. You weren’t taking any of this so you just pull your arm out his his hold. “No tommy.” You said and you walk away.

He growls slightly and he pulls you back with a bit too much strength and he loses his grip and ends up with you hitting your back against the wall hard and the fear that comes into his eyes showed how scared he was. He quickly goes over to you. “Y/n, I’m so so sorry!” He says in a panic voice, his hands are shaking. You were just in shock at what happened as pain runs though your back. You don’t even noticed the blood running down from your arm were his claws dug into your arm. He sees the blood and tears form into his eyes, and his ears press against his head and his tail drops. He backs away. “I-I’m so sorry.” He says quickly and before you even come back to reality he was already hiding.

Nikki

He was in one of his moods, he was shut away and was easily angered. You were surprising him with a nice present of a little movie night. He was in your shared room on your shared bed, as you were in the living room making a little blanket fort and lined up a movie list of his favorite movies with a couple of yours sprinkled in there. You hear a loud growl up in your bedroom and you carefully set down the movie that was in your hands. You stand up and you walk up the stairs quietly and go over to the bedroom door and knock on it. “Nikki, are you alright?” Your voice was gentle, being very careful. What it was met with was a growl.

You sigh under your breath as you carefully open the door. “Nikki?” You carefully come in, before anything went to shit you see how wild he looked, his eyes are a bright yellow and his hair is a mess. before you can shut the door a lamp was thrown at the wall near you scaring you, some of the lamp cuts into your skin. The scream or fear that left you due to the lamp hitting the wall break his anger trance and he realized what happened. “Y/n…” his voice was rough from the growling before. He stares at you in fear as he sees the cuts from all the lamp pieces. He has multiple thoughts running though his head and he goes over to you but you flinch away from him, and the panic and sadness that runs though him makes him whimper, and he backs away.

Vince

He was in a mischievous mood and well he has scared you many times and it ended well so he hides behind a door silent. While he was hidden you were coming back to the living room to your at home office. You weren’t expecting anything so when you enter your office and Vince jumps out scaring you, you end up jumping back hitting your head slightly but mainly your back hard at the door frame. The groan of pain the leaves you as you fall to the ground on your knees.

Vince panics and runs over to you. “Y/n I’m so so sorry.” He says and he cradles your head. His hand was gentle with you. He then helps you up. “Y/n please forgive me.” He says in a gentle voice.

Mick

He was having a issue with figuring out what was a threat or not which he warned you about and he told you want to do, if you need to help him calm down, and it was one of those rare times. He was having a breakdown the living room. You were in the kitchen, when you hear a loud crash. You go out of the kitchen and you see him hyperventilating and a picture frame of him and me together broken on the ground.

You let out a shaky breath as you remember what to do, you take a few steps and softly say. “Mick, you’re safe.” His head snaps up and stares at you. His cat eyes narrow at you seeing you as a danger. “Mick, I’m not a threat. Remember it’s me Y/N.” But he gets up slowly and his claws were out. You try to remember what else to do, but his street cat instincts were too fast and his claws scratch you face and shoulder. You falter back as he backs away with a hiss escaping him and he runs into another room. You hold your face. You had to ignore the scratches since he’s your number one priority right now.

Pt 2 tomorrow

[imagininghim]

hi! could i request a Tommy Lee doc based on the song Runaway Train by Soul Asylum in which the reader is 19 and is the runaway?

Runaway

Trigger warning - Domestic abuse, depression, self harm, and drug use.

Please read at your own risk.

Like, comment, reblog!

"Call you up in the middle of the night Like a firefly without a light You were there like a slow torch burning I was a key that could use a little turning

So tired that I couldn't even sleep So many secrets I couldn't keep Promised myself I wouldn't weep One more promise I couldn't keep"

With shaky hands I held onto the payphone, contemplating on calling him, he had told me before to call anytime I needed him and at a quarter to one in the morning it felt just as good of a time as any.

I let out a sigh as I picked up the receiver and dialled out his number. The phone began to ring as panic fluctuated throughout my body.

"Hello?" A tired and slightly annoyed voice answered.

"Tommy? Is that you?" I heard shuffling before he responded.

"(Y/N)? What's up? It's almost one in the morning, are you okay?" Tommy said as panic laced his voice.

"Uh-y-yeah" I began, stuttering a little. "I was wondering if you could come pick me up?" I could hear the shuffling of his bed sheets before he spoke again.

"I can, what's going on?" Tommy question, looking for his keys. I fought back the urge to cry as I spoke up.

"Please, just come get me." A tear slipped down my cheek.

"Alright, I'm on the way. Where are you?" Tommy said opening his car door before taking off down the road.

“I’m on the corner of sunset and boulevard, please just hurry.” More tears slipped as I tightened the strap of my backpack on my shoulder.

“I’m coming, I promise; I’ll be there in five minutes.” Hanging up the phone, I let out a shaky breath. I moved to the edge of the sidewalk and took a seat, the clouds above began to rumble and open up above me.

It seems no one can help me now I'm in too deep There's no way out This time I have really lead myself astray Runaway train never going back Wrong way on a one-way track Seems like I should be getting somewhere Somehow I'm neither here nor there

I waited in the pouring rain for Tommy's headlights to appear. Eventually, he drove up to me.

"(Y/N), holy fuck! Get in, you're soaking wet." He said leaning across to open the door. I slid into the passenger seat and closed the door behind me. "What are you doing out here? What's wrong? What Happened?" He immediately started bombarding you with questions.

"Please, can we just go. I'll answer all your questions but please just drive." I begged, holding back tears. Tommy gave me one more worried look before turning and shifting the car into gear and taking off down the road.

As we drove, I could feel Tommy's eyes on me, I shivered under the weight of his eyes and the cold from the rain. We stayed quiet the whole ride, with only the sound of the radio on low volume filling the empty space. We eventually we pulled up outside his house and he got out and ran to my side to open the door before shuffling me in side.

I wrapped my arms around myself as we made our way to the door and inside. Making my way inside, I looked up to see how big and beautiful his house was, a glass chandelier hung from the ceiling while two staircases wrapped around to meet in the middle of a balcony.

"Let's go upstairs and get you something dry to wear." Tommy said, making his way up the stairs as I continued to stand in front of the door. "(Y/N), you coming?" I nodded, sliding off my shoes and making my up the stairs and into his room.

Can you help me remember how to smile? Make it somehow all seem worthwhile How on earth did I get so jaded? Life's mysteries seem so faded

I can go where no one else can go I know what no one else knows Here I am, just drowning in the rain With a ticket for a runaway train

And everything seems cut and dry Day and night Earth and sky Somehow I just don't believe it

I stood in the doorway of his room, looking around while Tommy went rummaging through his closet for something I could wear.

"I think this could work," He said returning with an oversized hoodie and a pair of shorts. "I know it may be a little big on you but you can wear it while I put your clothes in the dryer." I nodded, taking the clothes and thanking him. Tommy gave me a small smile before taking a seat on the bed. "So, you gonna tell me what's on the go?" I let a sigh, dropping my bag off my shoulder and onto the floor before laying the dry clothes next to it.

"I don't know where to start." I began.

"At the beginning." I sighed before continuing.

"It all started after you left and went on tour, I was lonely at first but I met this really great guy, his name was Johnny and we met at a bar that I was working at. At first, he seemed super great, we went on a few dates and everything was going perfect." I could feel Tommy's stare burning into me but I couldn't look him in the eye as I continued. "That was until about a year ago when we moved in together, he had lost his job so I moved in to help him pay for things until he got back onto his feet but that was the thing, he never did. Sometimes he would get upset because he wasn't able to find work and he'd get mad and push me or slap me but then he would feel so bad and apologize. I always forgave him because I knew he was struggling."

"Hold up, wait a second. He was hitting you?! Why didn't you call me?!" Tommy exclaimed standing up in anger.

"You were on tour! I didn't want to bother you, plus he didn't do it all the time. It only happened when I didn't do the laundry or if I burned his supper." I could see the anger flash across Tommy's face as I continued. "Well, that was until the drugs. At first it was just weed, but then the stuff got harder which meant he got more mad and would hit me more often. It got to the point, where I would wear long sleeves to cover the bruises or sunglasses to cover the new shiner he gave me the night before." At first, I didn't notice the tears streaming down my face until Tommy reached over and brushed them away.

"(Y/N)..." Tommy began but I continued.

"Tonight was the worst of it, he came home smelling like brewery and cheap perfume, he had hickeys on his neck and I couldn't believe he was cheating on me. I tried to stand up for myself and tell him that this was the last straw but then started hitting me and kicking me, I was barely able to get away until I locked myself into the bathroom and snuck out the window. I ran and ran, until I found the nearest payphone and called you. I jus-" A sob began forming in my throat as I struggled to hold it back. "I just didn't know who else to call." And with that, I broke down. Tommy immediately wrapped me into his arms and held me as sobs wracked through my body.

"It's okay, you're safe now. I got you." Tommy kept whispering into my ear as he held on tight.

"I'm sorry I never reached out after you left, I didn't want to make him mad. I never forgot about you." I said in between breaths. Tommy continued holding me as he spoke.

"I know, I never forgot you either. Now, get changed, you're not going back there, you're staying with me." I wiped the tears away and gave him a small smile before turning my back to him and begin removing the wet clothes. It wasn't until I heard him gasp that I stopped but before I could pull the shirt back down, I felt Tommy's hands on me. "Did he do this?!" He questioned angrily.

I knew exactly what he was talking about, the black and purple bruises that laced my sides from when he kicked me. With a small whisper, I responded.

"Yes..." Before I had a chance to react, Tommy was out the door and down the stairs. "Wait! Where are you going?" I yelled over the balcony.

"To find that son of a bitch and put him in an early grave." But before I could respond, Tommy was out the door and speeding off down the driveway.

Runaway train never going back Wrong way on a one-way track Seems like I should be getting somewhere Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Bought a ticket for a runaway train Like a madman laughing at the rain A little out of touch, a little insane It's just easier than dealing with the pain

It was little later into the night when Tommy returned. I stood up from his couch and made my way to the front door, to see a bruised and bloody Tommy.

"Oh my god, are you okay?!" I questioned rushing over to him.

"Yeah I'll be fine, the bloods not mine." I looked down in concern at his bloody t-shirt but before I could react, Tommy's hands came to cup my cheeks. I stared into his hazel eyes. "You will never have to worry about him laying another hand on you again."

"Okay." Was all I could muster up to say. The next thing I knew, Tommy had his lips pressed against mine in a gentle but firm kiss. I was taken back but returned the kiss back, as we pulled away he spoke.

"I love you (Y/N), I always have. I will never let anyone hurt you again. You will never have to run again because I'm not going anywhere." Tears began welling in my eyes.

"I love you too Tommy." And with that, I pulled him in for another kiss.

Runaway train never going back Wrong way on a one-way track Seems like I should be getting somewhere Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Runaway train never coming back Runaway train tearing up the track Runaway train burning in my veins I run away but it always seems the same

[brummiereader]

Aww Lee, thank you so much for this lovely comment, I have the biggest smile on my face right now ❤️🤗!

You didn't think Brummie would go easy on on you all did you 😅? There's no easing into the emotions with me. Chapter one, Bam! Breaking hearts 😈. In the next chapter we will learn a little bit more about what happened and why Tommy is being so bitter with poor Y/N 😩.

I love that you enjoyed the church scene! It was so much fun to write along with their little adventure in the search of whisky. I know right? Who wouldn't want to be squished up against Tommy in a small room 😂.

Ohh Arthur, he is a joy to write ❤️. 😂, I like to think Tommy wasn't much of a ladies man when a teen and had little to no experience in this series and Y/N was his first for most things if not all ( I know they're around 18 in this fic and he probably would have experience at this age, but considering the themes I didn't want to make them younger and have it be creepy 😂) . But like you said, he definitely grows into that reputation 😉.

He is really cruel towards her at the end. He has a lot of bitterness towards her that might be unfairly justified and he's just acting overly butthurt 🙄. Thank you so much, I'm so happy you enjoyed it ❤️!

MASTERLIST

Hopelessly Devoted (PART ONE)

Summary: A flashback to when you and Tommy were young, carefree and smitten with one another plays out in your head as you sit alone in the Garrison, watching him now in the arms of another woman whilst you desperately hold onto the love you still have for him. Does Tommy share the same sentiments or has his bitterness towards you stained the love he claims he no long has for you?

Warnings: Language, angst, fluff, mutual pining

Authors note: Inspired by the song "Hopelessly Devoted" by Olivia Newton-John. RIP sweet angel.

"We're bloody late again!" your mother muttered under her breath as she hurried up the church steps holding onto her hat from the bitter January wind whilst you are your little brother George, lovingly known as Georgie walked behind her. "Ten minutes until we leave I said" she huffed turning around, scowling at you as you rolled your eyes in response. "Ten minutes! In the time it took for you to put your dress on I had swept the porch and gotten your brother ready. Why did you give me such an unruly child?" she said looking up to the heavens expecting some sort of response. "Out all hours gallivanting about with those Shelby boys, never listening to a word I say. I'm being punished aren't I, for the sins of her father...the bloody fool he was, drinking himself to an early grave, leaving me here to fend for myself with two kids..." she carried on as you held your little brothers hand, a small sigh leaving his mouth as he looked up at you, shaking his head at your mother's relentless rambling. " Y/N let me look at you. Bloody hell child, you look a state!" she frowned as she turned to face you at the top of the steps.

"Can you just stop" you said trying to move her hands away as she pushed your hair back behind your ears, pinching your cheeks to give them a rosy glow. "Look at your dress..." she huffed as she straightened the bottom out, pulling at the frilly pink fabric whilst your little brother reached up to open the church door. "Stay still!" she said as you started fidgeting away from her hands, her overbearing mothering making you feel like you was eight years old again.

" For god's sake I'm not a kid!" you replied rather loudly when the doors fully opened and everyone in their seats turned around to look at the commotion. "Shit" you mumbled under your breath as you looked to the sea of eyes now staring back at you, the loud bang of the church door slamming against the brick wall startling you as your little brother giggled in amusement.

" Bloody Walk Y/N" your mother said through gritted teeth behind you as she took her and George's hat off. Smiling graciously left to right at the people seated along the outer rows, your mother politely mouthed small hellos and good mornings as all three of you made your way down the aisle, her normal vocabulary filled with a plethora of her favourite profanities not once leaving her lips. Turning your head you quickly spotted Tommy sitting next to his family with a huge grin on his face, loving every second of the embarrassment he knew you was enduring. As the sound of your heels on the stone floor echoed loudly through the church, your entrance now the focus point of everyone's attention, you finally reached the alter with the Reverend stood beside it. You could almost feel the laughter Tommy and Arthur were holding back as your mother pushed you forward to bow. With a grunt leaving your throat you lowered your head, a small mischievous glint in your eye at the sudden, yet stupid idea to prove to your mother how unruly of a child you really was.

" Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been mere hours since I last pissed my mother off..." You said dramatically as your mother's eyes widened in embarrassment a gasp leaving her mouth as she grabbed you by the arm and span you back around, all while apologising profusely to the Priest now shaking his head at her. Oh the shame, the humiliation, she would never live this down. The gossip she would have to endure for months in the women's wash house was a fair consolation for her making you wear this god awful dress you proudly thought to yourself as you walked to find a seat. Sighing the Reverend lowered his eye as he turned the page of his sermon, longing to be appointed somewhere, anywhere out of Small Heath. No number of hail Mary's could save this sinful town. As you walked down the aisle the sudden sound of Tommy and Arthur laughing had you biting your inner cheek holding back your own amusement as you watched Polly snap her head in their direction.

" Shut up" Polly whispered as she reached over hitting each of them in the chest. "Bloody kids" she mouthed sympathetically to your mother as you all walked by.

" Girlfriend finally made it" Arthur whispered in Tommy's ear, knowing full well how smitten he was with you.

" Shes not my girlfriend, shut it" he muttered under his breath as you sent him a small wave which he quickly returned.

" Hi ya" Arthur laughed mocking him.

" Fuck off Arthur" Tommy replied as he elbowed him in the ribs leaving him wincing in pain.

" I'll let you have that one baby brother" he laughed rubbing his side.

" No fucking swearing in church!" Polly said quietly through gritted teeth as she hit the back of Tommy's head. It was always an eventful service when the Shelby's attended, which made you wonder what they had done to have their Aunt force them this time.

Walking out into the fresh air, free from the stuffy confines of the church you pushed back your hair behind your shoulders folding your arms as you faced the sun. Closing your eyes you sighed as the rays of light beamed onto your skin. With summer still a long way off you was enjoying the rare event in which the sun broke through the smoke filled skies of Small Heath. That was until you felt the warmth disappear and a large shadow take it's place. Opening your eyes you was met with Tommy Shelby standing right in front of you, a cigarette precariously hanging on the corner of his mouth, grinning from ear to ear.

" Get out the way you're blocking the sun" you said as you pushed him to the side closing your eyes again.

" Hmm, you are looking rather pasty"

" Thanks Thomas, you really know how to compliment a lady" you said taking the cigarette out his mouth as you walked over to sit on the brick wall just outside the church.

"Lady?" Tommy laughed as he sent you a cheeky smile." Nice dress by the way. You look like a flower girl"

" Shut up" you said playfully hitting his arm in response, hating everything about the overly embroidered puffy dress you were begrudgingly wearing. " Have you seen yourself?" you smirked looking down at his outfit "Think your Aunt needs to shorten those" you laughed as you nodded to the ends of his trousers bunched up around his boots.

" They're Arthur's hand-me-downs, the lanky git" he said kicking a stone on the ground that you both watched roll into the road.

" So what did you do this time to end up here on a Sunday morning?" You asked as you turned your head to face him.

" Aunt Pol found out Arthur stole one of the candelabras from the Reverends study. Convinced himself it was solid gold, you should have seen his face when we melted it down in Charlie's yard and it was copper" Tommy laughed as he looked back at you. " Polly was furious said he had sinned enough for the whole house and we were all damned to hell if we didn't come today" he explained further as his eyes lingered on your face, watching the way your nose scrunched up as you laughed, a sight he never got tired of. " So you coming later?" he asked leaning into you as he took his cigarette now stained with pink lipstick back from between your fingers, not that he minded.

" No absolutely not. Do you not remember the last time we followed one of Arthur's genius ideas?" you answered folding your arms having already made your mind up.

" He's got a map this time. Come on it will be fun" he said nudging his arm against yours.

" A map to what?"

" To where this rich fuck has all his liquor stored"

"Can I come?" John said running up to you both after overhearing the conversation, poking his brothers knee with a stick in attempt to get his attention which Tommy quickly put a stop to by giving him a kick in the shin.

" No, fuck off " Tommy said pushing him away from in front of him as John stormed off crying in search of his Aunt. " So how about it? "

" Fine, but only because it's your birthday tomorrow" you said giving in as you both smiled to eachother. "But this better be fool proof. I can't risk getting in trouble with my mum again, she's a few breaths away from kicking me out"

" That's alright, you can come live with me" he said winking to you as you looked up at him through your lashes, blushing a darker shade of pink than your dress." We'll come by to get you at eleven, don't be late ok? "

" I'm never late" you responded as Tommy rolled his eyes flicking his cigarette onto the ground. If there was one thing he had learnt over the years it was that you was always late.

" Thomas Michael Shelby! " Polly shouted as she stormed over to you both, dragging John with her by the arm.

"Shit. Right I'm off" Tommy said quickly pecking your cheek as he jumped over the wall running away from his Aunt. Bringing your hand up to your face you pressed your fingers to your skin, a smile dancing on your lips as you turned around to watch Tommy run into the back alleys of Small Heath, fleeing from the fury coming his way. Thomas Michael Shelby your best friend, your partner in crime and also the boy you had been head over heels for as long as you could remember. What a sorry story your limited love life had already been, endlessly pining for a boy you had convinced yourself only saw you as a friend, desperately hoping he felt the same.

It was just after noon when you Tommy and Arthur made your way over the wooden fencing onto the large mansions land. Having never once left the city limits in all of your eighteen years of life you was taken aback by the sheer size of the house in front of you. Surrounded by luscious green grass, rows of trees adorning its drive way, you was sure it was something only seen in films, a far cry from the mud and dirt of Small Heath.

" Give me the map" Tommy said as Arthur handed it to him whilst he looked over the brick wall separating you and the owner who was outside sitting in a garden chair.

"Arthur he has a dog. A mean looking thing" you said as Tommy stood beside you squinting at the map in his hand.

"Yeh well, he would have still been out with that dog hunting, but you were late" Tommy interjected with a smile on his face, having been right about your constant tardiness.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist Y/N, I've been coming here every day for the past week feeding him leftovers, he likes me. He won't make a peep " Arthur said trying to reassure you as you rolled your eyes at him knowing anything the eldest Shelby said was not to be trusted and far from the actual truth.

" Jesus Christ Arthur" Tommy said throwing the map at his brothers chest. " This is a fucking map for a house in London!"

" Ay?" Arthur said as he straightened it out in front of him. " Where's it say that? " he asked as Tommy snatched it back from him pointing at the words "London" written right underneath the name of the house.

" Well how was I supposed to bloody know. They should have put it at the very top"

" It's in fucking capitals Arthur, how can you not..."

" Right I'm going home" you said as the two brothers continued to argue. As always Arthur's ideas were never properly thought out, often getting you in trouble more than anything else.

" Wait Y/N no, come on stay" Tommy said as he looked back to his older brother widening his eyes in gesture to help him convince you not to leave.

" Y/N " Arthur said as he put his arm around your shoulder. " We're at the back entrance. He probably keeps it down in the basement, it won't be far. You're the only one small enough to shimmy through the window to open the lock on the other side. Come on, dont let us down, it's Tom's birthday tomorrow. "

" Fine. But if I put another ladder in my stockings you're paying for a new pair" you said pointing to him as Arthur placed a wooden crate below the window for you to stand on.

"Atta girl" Arthur said as he turned his head around winking to Tommy as you climbed through the window, quickly making in through to the other side. Pushing past his brother, Tommy went to open the door when the dog Arthur promised wouldn't bark suddenly started to do exactly that.

" Hey! Who's there?" the owner said as you all ran into the house. " Get 'em boy" he shouted as his dog came charging round the corner into the building.

" Fucking traitor! After all the food I gave you" Arthur shouted as you all ran down the hall, making your way up to the second level.

" What did you feed him with?" you asked breathlessly as you ran beside them, Tommy's hand resting on your back making sure you didn't get left behind.

"Sprouts"

"Sprouts!" You and Tommy both shouted looking back at him.

" It's all we had"

" No wonder he bloody hates you" Tommy said as all three of you came to a stop behind a wall waiting for a maid to walk by.

" Sniff them out" the owner said as you heard the sound of the dogs nails clicking on the wooden floorboards, getting closer by the second.

" Shiiit, run! Hide! Arthur giggled as you legged it down one of the second floor corridors, Tommy quickly pulling you into a small storage room to the side as Arthur continued to run down the hall. Breathless, you both looked up at eachother as a fit of laughs left your lips. Bringing his finger up to his mouth Tommy gestured for you to be quiet as the sound of the owner walking along the corridor quickly brought your giggles to a stop. Taking in your surroundings you suddenly realised how close you were to eachother. Cardboard boxes were stacked as high as the ceiling all around you, there was barely enough space for one person let alone two.

" Is he gone?" you whispered to which Tommy nodded, his eyes looking over you as he too started to realise how close you were to one another." You're taking all the space" you said trying to free yourself from the uncomfortable position you was in.

" Y/N my backs pushed up against the door. I don't have any more room to move" he said as you huffed in response moving your arm that was stuck between you to the side. Silence fell upon the small room as you continued to fidget in place whilst Tommy cleared his throat, his eyes darting between you and the surrounding boxes.

" What? Why do you keep looking at me like that" you said with a thrown on your face.

" I'm not looking at you like anything" Tommy replied as he quickly glanced away. With your focus now elsewhere, Tommy's eyes drifted down to both of your bodies pressed up against eachother, biting his inner cheek in attempt to rid himself of all the thoughts going through his mind. Taking in every delicate feature of your face, Tommy felt his heart quicken as he continued to stare down at you. God you were beautiful, he had been wanting to tell you those very words for years, wanted to ask you out, tell you how he felt. But unlike his old brother who seemed to have endless amounts of confidence when it came to girls, Tommy never found the courage to make a move. Instead he begrudgingly tormented himself, watching all the boys of Small Heath try their luck with you.

" You're doing it again, stop it!" you said squinting your eyes as you looked up to see him still staring down at you. " You're making me nervous"

" What else am I supposed to look at, you're right in front of me " he said with a small sigh. Just ask her you idiot, he thought to himself as he peered at you in the corner of his eye.

" Y/N erm, I was wondering..." he started to say when you grabbed his hand, your eyes widening in a panic.

" Shh. Did you hear that?" You said as you looked behind him to the door.

" Its just a window blowing open" he replied as he glanced down at your hand still holding onto his. Throwing his head back Tommy shook his head, frustrated that the moment he had finally found the courage to ask you out you had cut him off. Bringing his eyes back down to look at you, Tommy took a deep breath. If he couldn't say how he felt he would show it. What was the worse that could happen?

" Fuck it" he said as he cupped your cheeks crashing his lips onto yours. For a brief moment you resisted taken by surprise at Tommy's unexpected move until your whole body finally relaxed and you quickly melted into the kiss. There was no technique to it, wet, messy, all tongues and teeth. But as your lips interlocked you felt a flutter of butterflies fill your stomach, your hands finding their way to his shoulders as Tommy enthusiastically pushed you back the few centimeters remaining between you and the wall behind you.

" Owh" you said as your head hit the wall, the thump loud enough for anyone to hear.

" Shit, sorry" Tommy said as a small giggle escaped your mouth at his overly keen display. Pressing your lips back onto his the kiss was smoother, a small whimper leaving your throat as his tongue brushed over yours. Moaning, Tommy's hand dropped from your waist to your leg as his fingers travelled under you skirt grazing over your suspenders. Things were getting heated, very heated.

" Wait, Tommy I've, i'm a.."

" Fuck sorry, I wasn't trying to" Tommy awkwardly said cutting you and himself off. " Wait, you're a Virgin?" he asked with a small smile etched on the corner of his lips his brows slightly raised.

" Why do you look so surprised? " you answered back, your whole face scrunched up in annoyance.

" No nothing. It's just I didn't think you was...you know" he replied unable to formulate his own words.

" Oh and you're not? You really think I believed that ridiculous story you told us all last summer about how you gave Irene five orgasms in ten minutes" you scoffed with a laugh as Tommy's cheeks suddenly went a crimson shade of red, his hands dropping from your waist.

" Jesus...thanks Y/N" Tommy said looking away with a huff unable to physically move away from the embarrassment surrounding him.

" Slightly exaggerated don't you think? " you giggled as Tommy looked back at you, his hands now on his hips.

" You done?" he huffed as you bit your bottom lip trying to hold back the laugh that was seconds away from escaping. As Tommy pressed his lips back onto yours the small giggle unable to contain itself finally broke free.

" Stop it, I'm trying to concentrate" he said smiling into your lips as he continued to kiss you, his hands roaming over the curves of your body when the door suddenly flew open.

" Oi oi, what's going on in here then? " Arthur said grinning at you both as you let go of eachother. Rolling your eyes you walked out the small room pushing past him the box of whisky and leg of ham he was holding. "Get to second base baby brother?" Arthur sniggered as Tommy thumped him in the arm.

" Fuck off Arthur" Tommy pouted leaving the room and his older brother in fits of laughter. Both barely out the door, your eyes widened as the owner and his dog turned the corner.

" You little bastards. I've seen your faces. I know who you are! You're those trouble making Shelby boys. And look, you've brought your little whore with you, that dead drunk idiot's daughter. How did you petty little thieves make it out of Small Heath, did you steal a car?"

" Hey! Nobody gets to call her a whore but us" Arthur warned the owner pointing his finger at him as Tommy protectively pushed you behind him. Now in a stand-off between the owner and his drooling dog growling at you, you watched as he unclasped the large metal chain from the dogs collar.

" Go on boy get 'em!" he commanded when Tommy grabbed the leg of ham out the crate in Arthur's arms, launching it in the dog's direction.

" My bloody ham!" Arthur said, furious his dinner had been tossed to the the very dog he felt had betrayed him.

" Run!" Tommy shouted as you all turned around.

" I'm calling the police!"

" Thanks for the whisky old man" Arthur laughed running down the stairs as you and Tommy followed behind him, mentally noting never to follow one of Arthur's ideas again.

Several hours had passed and you Tommy, Arthur and a girl he had picked up along the way were sitting around a campfire in the local woods where Arthur and Tommy's families two vardos were, sipping on the finest whisky you had ever tasted. You couldn't remember the amount of times they had brought you out here to camp, taking you away for a brief moment from the smoke filled air, from the memories of your father that hung over you thicker than any fogged filled skies, a grief you wouldn't have made it through without them. As you sat looking at the flames of the fire mesmerised by their orange glow Tommy glanced over to you, watching the flickering lights from the campfire cast a golden hue on your skin, desperate to be alone with you again, the kiss you shared earlier repeatedly playing out in his head.

" Come on love, let's leave them to it" Arthur said standing up taking his dates hand after noticing his brother staring at you. " See you in the morning" Arthur winked back to Tommy opening the small caravan door, squeezing the girls bum as they both entered. " If the caravan be rocking, don't come a knocking!" Arthur laughed as he shut the door leaving you alone with Tommy.

" Dickhead" Tommy mumbled under his breath as you looked away, biting your bottom lip at how awkward Arthur had suddenly made everything. "It's getting late" you said standing up as you brushed the mud and twigs off your skirt looking back at the other vardo.

" I'll sleep out here" Tommy said as he sat up throwing another log onto the fire.

" You can't sleep out here, you'll freeze to death. Come on, it's not like we've never slept in the same bed" you said only just realising how different this time would be.

" Right, yeh...ok" Tommy said clearing his throat as he stood up.

As you settled into the small bed you watched as Tommy took of his hat and coat, your heart rapidly beating as nerves started to mount in your stomach. Climbing under the covers Tommy turned to face you, his fingers coming up to brush the strands of hair away from your face. Leaning into eachother, both of you turned your head in the same direction, awkwardly banging your foreheads together, resulting in a fit of laughs leaving your lips as Tommy shook his head at you, it was quite possible you were the giggliest girl he had ever met. Relaxing you recomposed yourself as Tommy pressed his lips to yours in a tender embrace. As his hand moved to your lower back, pressing your body closer to his your breath hitched in you throat, nerves now consuming every movement you made. Pulling away Tommy rubbed his thumb over your hip, in an effort to help you relax.

" Let's just lay here together, yeh?" he said taking the pressure away from you, not wanting to rush you into anything you wasn't ready for you as you nodded your head, thankful for his understanding nature. Rolling onto his back Tommy brought you closer into his side as he stroked up and down your arm, happy to finally have you in his arms.

" I nearly forgot" you said as you sat up leaning across him to pick up your coat.

" Happy Birthday" you said pulling out a small gift wrapped in cloth.

" My birthdays not until tomorrow " he chuckled as he sat up.

" It will be in ten minutes" you said as you looked down at your watch, quickly returning your eyes to him pulling out a gold pocket watch from within the delicate fabric.

" Jesus Y/N...you got this for me, how? " he said with a huge grin on his face as he looked to you.

" All those hours pressing clothes. Took me almost a year to be able to afford it"

"Come here" he said bringing you into a hug as you settled back down into the bed together." Thank you" he added as he pressed a kiss to your forehead feeling happier than any win he had ever won at the races.

With his arm securely wrapped around you Tommy couldn't stop the smile on his face as he looked down at the watch in his hand, it was nicest thing he owned and the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. Glancing at your wristwatch, Tommy turned the dials to the right time, when you took it from him turning it back a further five minutes.

" It's five minutes too late" he said watching you you press the knob down.

" That way I'll always be on time for you" you giggled handing it back as Tommy chuckled shaking his head.

" Yeh just means I won't be on time for anything" he smiled closing the watch, keeping it tightly clasped in his hand as you nuzzled your head into his chest.

" Tommy?"

" Mm-hm" he said as his eyes were about to close.

" What do you think we'll be doing this time ten years from now"

" The same thing" he smiled as his thumb rubbed over the curve of your shoulder. "Only naked" he said as he opened one eye looking to you.

" Tommy!" You said, giving him a small punch to the arm. " I'm serious, what do you think we'll be doing?"

" The same thing Y/N" he said with certainty as he tuned his head to face you. " You'll be in my arms every night from now on, that's a promise" he said as he looked lovingly back at you before giving you one last peck to the lips as you both closed your eyes, dreaming of the future and everything coming your way. Even though you were both young with your whole lives ahead of you, one thing was for certain, in that moment you had no doubts that you wouldn't spend the rest of your lives together and every night in each others arms.

Ten years later...

Laughs and chatter of people enjoying eachothers company hummed around as you sat quietly in the corner of the Garrison, the drink in your hand untouched as the night you and Tommy spent together this time ten years ago asleep in each others arms cruelly played out in your head. As a tear fell from your eye you looked up across the room to see the new barmaid sat tightly against Tommy's body, his arm resting around her shoulders. Tonight it wouldn't be you wrapped in his arms, tonight you would sleep alone as regret over decisions you had made weighed down your already broken heart. Standing up from your seat Tommy's eyes quickly darted to you, watching you pull your coat around you as you brushed the tears from your face, leaving the Garrison in a hurry, unable to withstand anymore.

Clutching your coat around you from the cold night air you pushed the last tears from your cheeks as the pain in your heart dug further into your chest.

" Y/N" you heard your name being called by the very man you didn't want to see you like this.

"Yes Tommy" you said turning around as he waited at the Garrison door.

" I need you to go finish those papers at the betting shop for tomorrow" he said lighting a cigarette as he stepped a little closer.

" It's nearly midnight..." you replied as you watched him pull out his pocket watch to check the time. Quickly closing it, Tommy clutched it tightly in his hand as he looked back at you. For a brief moment that's all he did as if the memories of that night had suddenly come flooding back to him. Maybe they had never left, and Tommy's heart was aching as much of yours, either way you could never tell, for just as quickly as his face softened for those brief few moments his demeanor abruptly changed, a scowl not spread across his face.

" The deadlines tomorrow " he said sharply looking to you as you shivered in the cold, your eyes red from crying.

" Ok Tommy" you said like you always did, at his beck and call night and day, desperately hanging onto the love you still felt for him. Without saying another word you turned on your heel heading for Watery Lane.

" You not going to wish me a happy birthday then?" Tommy called out as he watched you walk away.

" Happy birthday Tommy" you replied, the words catching in your throat, tears streaming down your face as you walked briskly off into the night. So much had changed over the years, so many promises broken, hearts broken along with them. But yet you still held on, hopelessly devoted to the man who promised to hold you in his arms every night.

(Part Two coming soon!)

Tag list: @cosniffee @jonsncws @powellssaturn @jessimay89 @bruher @riseandreigns4u @mariaelizabeth21-blog1

[glitterjay]

ENEMIES TO LOVERS | 이희승.LHS

summary: heeseung finds himself drawn to the girl he initially clashed with. two competitive rivals notice the sparks that fly every time they encounter each other. beneath the surface of their hatred lies a hidden chemistry drawing them closer despite their efforts to resist. could love possibly fire up from sparks?

genre: feuding families, a little bit of everything (smut, fluff, angst), enemies to lovers

warnings: will contain smut, heeeseung and reader are in their late 20s, more to be added.

in case of wanting to be part of taglist, please send an ask with what fic you would like to get @ for as I will be making one list for each one. series masterlist

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taglist (open): @drunkhee @jvjsssnaa @minniejenseo @slut4hee @nyxtwixx @m1sskz @tanisha2060 @heelee-01 @enhypenlovre @rainingleaves @hommyy-tommy @hollyoongs @seungjiseyo @cheeryyyyyyyy @ramenoil @yorukoshii @pockettwinzz @samouryed @capri-cuntz @jjklvr9 @minjaexvz

lee incorporated, one of the biggest companies to rule the world, was now facing trouble with its sales—something never seen before in the many years the company has been in operation.

its success had been ongoing throughout the years, making it impossible for new competitors to even make it as such—until the last few years.

the feud between the two companies had been going on publicly, only adding to the sales of each one as well as increasing their popularity.

heeseung didn't understand why the other company seemed never to give up and, in fact, kept shooting up in sales before his very eyes. his family was counting on him to keep the legacy of lee incorporated, but he was beginning to think it was impossible.

throughout the last year, you've been meeting up with different investors who seem to be interested in having some kind of connection with your company. you've also had the opportunity to be in the same room as heeseung, the future owner of your competition.

it was evident how frustrated he would get when an investor would set up a meeting with the both of you, thus making it easier for them to see which company would be the better option. his eyes shot glares at you every time, as if every look was a dagger thrown straight at your back.

that was the case now. both of you stood side by side as you gave a presentation as to why the investors should choose one over the other. you were both professional enough to keep it calm but couldn't help glaring at each other from time to time.

"thank you for your time, both of you. we will be reaching out to the candidate we like most, and we wish the other party the best of luck."

both of you bowed politely until the meeting room was empty, leaving only the two of you in the room. you sighed, taking a seat in one of the chairs that had been occupied moments ago.

"if you're that tired, just give up," heeseung said, fixing the sleeves of his white button-down.

you scoffed, grabbing a fistful of hair to tie it into a bun. "as if."

every encounter ended almost like this. sometimes you would exchange more than two words; other times you would bicker until someone else caught both of your attentions; or sometimes you wouldn’t say anything at all, one of you walking out of the room right away.

there was a spark you felt between the both of you that only lit up in such moments. heeseung felt it, too. but it was only normal to feel such hatred when your enemy is in the same room as you.

© glitterjay | tumblr

if you could leave any type of feedback—whether it be an ask, reblog, or comment—that would help me a lot.

[peppermintquartz]

hii could you write something about when tommy and buck meet at madney's wedding, but this time tommy comes as chim's friend instead of buck's date. maybe it’s a year after the breakup since maddie wanted to wait to have the wedding until after she gave birth. maybe in this scenario buck and tommy are on good terms (or not? for more angst? it's up to you) and one of them asks the other to dance? honestly, I just want to see them dance😭 thank you! 💖

I tweaked the prompt slightly because there's a special party for the first birthdays of a Korean baby, and I thought it'd be sweet to celebrate that culture

---

Doljanchi

---

The music is cheerful and everyone is in high spirits. Buck is moving around the party, taking the opportunity to top up the trays of pastries and snacks while baby Joon-ki is propped on his little 'throne', dressed in an adorable green hanbok, after he finally woke up from his afternoon nap.

Everyone is waiting to take photos with him, and so no one is really looking at the door. Buck is counting the number of eclairs and thinking if he will need to run out for something when he hears someone clearing their throat softly.

"Buck."

Buck stands and turns around, heart involuntarily skipping a beat. He knows Tommy has been invited - Chimney told him - but seeing his ex in the flesh is still startling. Tommy's in a navy blue sports jacket and a pale gray polo over those jeans that hug his thighs.

"Tommy," Buck says, smiling politely. They've bumped into each other a handful of times since the breakup, and each time it was awkward, but they have not really had the opportunity to talk to each other, except for brief hellos and goodbyes.

Buck has found time to 'explore his options' since then. Men and women. Dated two other guys, never for more than four months. And he took the time to really think about which part of the rainbow he belonged to - he hadn't done that while he was with Tommy, because he thought it didn't matter, he had his boyfriend and that was enough for him - but then he went on a learning binge after.

He still thinks Tommy's statement about protecting his own heart is bullshit.

Tommy hands him a wrapped box. "For, uh, for the baby."

Buck takes it and tucks it under his arm. "Thanks. Help yourself to the food. I'll, uh, I'll get you a drink."

"Okay. Thanks."

It's so stilted and tense between them. Buck hates it. Fleeing to the kitchen, he digs out a bottle of the beer Tommy prefers. (He knows Tommy is going to be here. He's helping Maddie and Chim be good hosts. That's all.)

When he gets back to the living room where Joon-ki is holding court, surrounded by two sets of doting grandparents, he can't find Tommy. Part of him thinks that Tommy's gone again, too much of a coward to stay and pretend they can be friends.

And the other part of him wishes he can let it go already.

Then he spies Tommy kneeling on the floor in the corner where Jee Yun is, her little face pink and her lips pouting. Tommy has another wrapped box and he's giving it to her with a flourish, and she beams at him and hugs him around the neck.

She liked him, Buck remembers.

After the girl runs back to the table where her little brother is perched, Buck goes to Tommy and offers him a hand to stand up. Tommy glances at him, startled, and takes the assistance.

"Here," Buck passes him the beer. He checks his watch. "They're gonna do the doljabi in about five minutes."

"The what-bee?"

"Doljabi. It's some fortune-telling game. Supposed to tell what the baby's gonna be when he grows up."

Tommy stays for the game, stays to shake Maddie's hand and to give Chimney a hug, to take photos with Jee-yun and Joon-ki.

He stays late enough for dinner - the Lees supplied them with a dazzling assortment of Korean dishes - and it almost feels friendly, a few jokes traded around the adults while the kids have their own fun.

Baby Joon-ki is already in his cot, and Buck takes a moment to watch over his sleeping nephew. Then a shadow blocks the light from the hall.

"Hey," says Tommy softly.

"Hey." Buck smiles at him, genuine now. Tommy comes into the room when Buck inclines his head in invitation. "Kid's wiped out."

"It's been pretty momentous." Tommy slips his hands into his pockets. "Adorable kid though."

They stand side by side, watching the baby, and music filters into the room. For a moment, Buck could almost believe this is my child, this is my husband.

"How have you been?" Buck asks. "Anyone new in your life?"

Tommy shakes his head. "Haven't had time." He takes a deep breath. "I heard from Eddie that you, uh, you broke up with that lifeguard. Jay?"

"Ray," says Buck. Then he licks his lips. "We never did dance at Maddie's wedding. Can I ask you for one?"

"Now?"

Buck holds up a hand and tilts his head, a small flutter of a smile on his lips. "Now."

For a heartbeat, Tommy looks like he wants to refuse. Then he exhales and takes Buck's hand, accepts the other hand at his waist.

As they sway to the music, Buck looks directly at Tommy. It helps that they are of the same height. "I miss you. It's been over a year, and I still miss you."

Tommy blinks at him, perhaps surprised at the confession. His answering smile is small and tentative. "Yeah, me too."

"Can we try again?" Buck asks, still swaying slowly, guiding them in a small circle around the baby's room. "You can't say that I don't know what I want now. I've done my exploring. I've done my learning. And I am more than ever certain that you are who I want to be my last."

"I want to try again," Tommy replies, equally quietly, reverently. "I went to therapy again, unpacked... unpacked a lot of the shit I said that night. It was unfair to you."

"Not entirely untrue though."

"I wouldn't know." Tommy pauses, and then adds, "I'd like to find out."

Buck smiles. He feels lighter, clearer than he has for a long time. "So... you'll call me Evan again?"

Tommy sighs, smiles back. "I never stopped thinking of you as Evan. I'm sorry I ran."

"Good. Be sorry." Buck cradles Tommy's cheek and draws him in. "We'll try again. No more running, okay? Rough times, or if either of us do something stupid, we talk it out. Promise me that."

"Of course."

[penmansparadise]

Tommy Shelby ~ Dust in the Wind

*I DON'T OWN THIS GIF* *CREDIT TO GIF OWNER*

*I do not give anyone permission to repost my work in any way (translations included)*

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5.5k

Warnings: Discusses infant loss/stillborn, ANGST, mild language, possibly ooc Tommy

a/n: Alright, well, it has been quite some time since I've posted on this site. First, let me get a few things out. 1) This is the most self-indulgent piece I have ever written, so if you don't want to read it, please just keep on scrolling. 2) This does not mean that I am ready to start taking requests again or that I will be regularly writing again. As stated before, this is a very self-indulgent piece because I just experienced the loss of my daughter, who was born prematurely. It has completely wrecked me, and I have just finally decided to start writing again. I am trying to navigate my loss and thought maybe writing would help. It did, and although this piece is a little darker than I usually write, it was therapeutic, and I wanted to share it because I am proud of my work. I did write it as a reader insert, but if you all read it and think it would be better as an OC story, I'll change it. Anyway, this is the first time I've ever written for Tommy, so please forgive the potential out-of-character actions he has in this story. Also, it has been a bit since I watched season 3 so forgive any mistakes. I took some liberties with the story by adding different children for Tommy and Y/N and some of the things that happened in the show. Well, I hope you enjoy this story, and would really like to know what you all think.

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Y/N was no stranger to death.  It was Small Heath, for goodness’ sake.  Death practically ran in the water.  Being deeply entrenched in the Shelby family since she was a young girl only made her acquaintance with death’s steely grip all that much closer.  She had been to more than enough funerals in her 29 years of living.  She was present at the cemetery when her father finally drank himself into his grave, she was there to mourn when consumption took her mother, and she showed up to support Ada when they buried Freddie.  Y/N was always there when any of the Peaky boys were killed in the line of action, and she even showed up for her elderly childhood neighbor’s funeral.  But this time, it was different.  She wasn’t gathered in the woods on the outskirts of Small Heath to mourn for someone else.  There wasn’t a stranger tucked away in the wagon standing in front of her.  The Shelbys weren’t gathered to bid farewell to a distant relative or friend.  The Lees weren’t generously providing this funeral for a price.  No, the whole Shelby and Lee families were there for her and Tommy this time.

            The heat from the flames washed over Y/N’s face, making her sweat a little, but she didn’t move.  She wanted to be as close as she could possibly be.  If she had it her way, she would have jumped into the wagon and let the flames swallow her whole, but Tommy’s hand tightly gripping hers anchored her to the ground.  It had only been a few days.  It couldn’t have been more than four, but with how time was moving, it felt like a lifetime had passed.  The flames roared on, and Tommy squeezed her hand a little tighter, causing Y/N’s throat to tighten.  She swallowed down the sadness trying to claw its way out of her.  Y/N wasn’t going to break down in front of all these people.  She didn’t want to cry at all, for that matter.  It felt like it had been an endless stream of tears, and Y/N was done.  If only her aching heart would catch the memo.  Y/N’s eyes traveled the length of the flames until they landed on the little plaque one of the Lee boys carved for the wagon.  “Lily Eleanora Shelby,” it read, and suddenly, the sadness returned with a vengeance.  Y/N shut her eyes, and the events that led to this day played in her head.  She was supposed to be happy.  She was supposed to be full of unadulterated joy.  She was supposed to be cradling her newborn baby girl.  But she wasn’t.  Instead, she held onto her husband’s hand like a lifeline as she watched her daughter’s wagon burn.  One day.  That’s all it took to completely destroy her.

            Even as she stood there, watching the flames devour her daughter’s wagon, she still recounted everything she did four days ago, trying to figure out what could have possibly led to this result.  Four days ago, she was a cheery 29-week pregnant woman.  A stay-at-home mom who, with the help of their maid Frances, cared for her and Tommy’s three-year-old son, Benjamin.  That day had started like any other.  Tommy was already out, and she could hear Frances chasing Ben around his room.  The little boy’s giggles echoed through the house, and she remembers smiling as she slid a hand over her round tummy.  Y/N couldn’t wait for Ben to be a big brother.  She got ready like any other day and eventually made her way to her son, who welcomed her presence with a hug and a kiss.  The little boy rubbed her tummy, planted a chaste kiss to her navel, and smiled at her. 

            “I just wanted to let my little brother or sister know that I love them too, Mommy,” he had said, causing Y/N’s heart to clench.  Even at three, he was a charmer, just like his father.  She knelt to be at eye level with her son and lifted her hand to cradle his face.

            “You’re going to be a wonderful big brother; do you know that?”

            “Of course I will be, Mommy.  I’ve been practicing sharing my toys with Frances and making sure I listen real good to you and daddy.”  He said, standing up straighter to exhibit his full height.  “Frances says I need to be a good example for the new baby, or else Santa won’t bring me any presents this year for Christmas.  How outrageous is that, Mommy!?”

            Y/N stifled a laugh before brushing Ben’s hair back and looking up to see Frances smirking from her spot by Ben’s block tower. 

“I’m sure Santa won’t forget about you this year, honey.”  She told her son.  The boy gave her a toothy grin before trotting off to continue playing with his blocks. 

Y/N returned to her feet and watched Ben for another minute before retreating to the new nursery.  It was already put together, and she often found herself hiding away in that room.  She glided her hand over the bassinet and let the soft fabric tickle her palm.  The walls were already decorated with paintings of horses, some of which came from Ben, who insisted that his younger sibling have them.  She sat on the rocking chair and gently rubbed her hands over her stomach, earning a little kick from her unborn child.  A soft laugh fell from her lips as she looked down at her growing bump.

“Sorry to disturb you, love.”  She whispered, her hands still rubbing slow circles.  “Mommy just wanted to let you know she loves you very much.  And so does your big brother, who is very excited to meet you.”

Another kick came.

“You’re excited to meet him, too?  I’ll have to let him know.”

“Daddy loves you too, just in case Mommy forgot to mention that.”  Tommy’s voice came from the doorway, causing Y/N to look up.  He gave her a full smile, the one he reserved only for her and their son, and it fell over her like a warm blanket.

“Mommy was just about to get there.  Had daddy not interrupted her,” she said.  Tommy hummed in response as he floated across the room to kneel before her.  He looked up at Y/N through his lashes and said, “Sure you were,” before removing her hands and planting a soft kiss where they had just lay.

“Daddy can’t wait to meet you,” he whispered against her stomach, his warm breath radiating throughout her body.  Tommy looked up at Y/N before standing and pressing his lips to hers.  When he pulled away, a smile matching his spread across her face.  She was beaming.  She had dreamt of being in this position for many years as a teenager, and now it was real.  Thomas Shelby was hovering over her very pregnant figure in their unborn second child’s nursery.  Their lively three-year-old son’s muffled laughter ricocheted off the hallway walls.  It was everything she ever wanted, and she was so happy.

“What’s that look for?”  Tommy asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

“Nothing,” she hummed, gaining a skeptical eyebrow raise from her husband.  “I just love you.  That’s all.”

Tommy nestled his face into the crook of her neck, peppering kisses along the exposed skin.  Then he pulled back, looked into her eye, and said, “I love you more than you know, Y/N.”

He gave her one more swift kiss before standing and sauntering out of the room with a smirk.  The rest of the day went by like any day usually went.  She sat around and read, played with Ben, ate lunch at 1100, put Ben down for a nap at 1230, and then went back to reading.  Tommy was in and out, balancing work from home and the office.  She could tell that day was extra tiring from how he sighed every time he left the house.  It was after Tommy left for the last time of the day that Y/N got the idea to wander down to the kitchen.  When she entered, the cooks were hard at work peeling and slicing vegetables.

“Good evening, Mrs. Shelby,” the head chef began, “is there anything we can do for you, ma’am?”

Y/N clasped her hands behind her back as she rocked back and forth on her heels like a guilty toddler.  “Um,” she said, “actually, yes, there is.”  She stepped into the kitchen and moved her hands to rest on her stomach.  “I was thinking that maybe tonight you and the rest of the staff could take the evening off and allow me to cook dinner.”

The head chef’s eyes widened at her statement.  Everyone else stilled for a brief moment, waiting for him to speak.  “Oh,” he stammered, “b-but, Mrs. Shelby, and please forgive me if I am overstepping, but shouldn’t you be resting instead of cooking?”  His eyes dipped down to her protruding abdomen before landing back on her face. 

“Resting?  I rest all day.  Really,” Y/N said, waving the chef’s comment off, “it would be nothing.  I actually miss being in the kitchen.  It’ll be nice.  Therapeutic.”  She couldn’t miss the wide-eyed stares from everyone in the room, but she chose to ignore them.  When they didn’t move to leave, she stepped forward, placed a gentle hand on the head chef’s back, and began leading him out of the kitchen. 

“Trust me,” she said, “I’ll be fine.  Thank you for your concern, though.”

Once she ushered the staff out, she began working on dinner.  It had been a long time since she cooked, but it came back to her like riding a bicycle.  She couldn’t escape the excitement that bubbled inside of her as she fell into a groove preparing dinner for her family again.  She boiled the potatoes the staff had peeled, sauteed the peppers and onions, and braised the beef that was in the refrigerator.  About an hour into cooking, a dull pain emanated from her lower back and into her hips.  The dull pain slowly morphed into a pressure that she just assumed was normal 29-week pregnancy symptoms.  It’s just the baby getting comfortable.  The baby is just moving around and pressing a little harder than usual on my cervix.  She ignored the feelings and finished cooking before asking the kitchen staff for help to bring the meal into the dining room.  Once the table was set, Frances went and fetched her boys, alerting them that not only had Y/N cooked dinner, but she had also served it.  She greeted the boys in the doorway of the dining room and gave each a kiss before they all sat to eat.  That pain returned in her lower back and hips, making it hard to get comfortable in her seat.  She let out a low groan of discomfort, and Tommy placed his hand over hers to gain her attention.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his eyebrows knitted together.  She swallowed another groan that threatened to come out and nodded with a strained smile.  Y/N could tell that her weak answer did nothing to reassure Tommy, but he didn’t press her. 

“How do you like the meal?”  She asked, doing her best to not sound strained against the constant pressure she felt pulsing between her legs.

Before Tommy could answer, Ben nodded with enthusiasm and stuffed a heaping scoop of mashed potatoes into his mouth.  “I love it, Mommy!  This is the best dinner I’ve ever had,” he said through his mouthful of food. 

Y/N smiled, but it must have looked more like a grimace because this time, Tommy stood up and moved to her side.  “Y/N,” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders, “are you sure you’re okay?  Should I have Frances phone the doctor?” 

Y/N grabbed his hand and squeezed it as she looked up to her husband.  “I’m fine, darling.  I promise.  Let’s just finish dinner.”  She pulled his hand to her mouth and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.  Then, using her head, she motioned for Tommy to sit again.  He stared at her for another moment, the line on his forehead deepening, before sighing and retaking his seat.  She kept her discomfort under wraps for the remainder of dinner because Tommy didn’t mention anything until after they had put Ben down for the night and were about to crawl into bed.  The pressure and pain had only grown in that short time, and she was beginning to get nervous.  She was sitting on the edge of their bed, eyes shut, and taking some deep breaths when Tommy’s hands landed on her thighs.  She could feel him kneeling between her legs, but she didn’t open her eyes.  She didn’t want to admit that her anxiety was consuming her or that the pain and pressure had turned into abdominal cramps.  It wasn’t until she suddenly felt the bed beneath her sopping wet that she looked at Tommy.  He looked down and saw the fluid dripping from her nightgown and their duvet before his gaze landed on her.  She could see his mouth moving, but his voice was drowned out by her rapidly beating heart.  Something is wrong.  She thought.  This shouldn’t be happening.  I’m too early.  Tommy pushed away the hair that had begun sticking to her sweaty forehead, and then ran out of the room.  His voice was distant, but she could have sworn he said something about calling Polly and Ada.  She wasn’t sure because all she could focus on was the sharp pain that was puncturing her abdomen and the immense pressure building between her legs.  Before she could comprehend what was happening, Tommy scooped her up and lay her on their bed.  What about the sheets?  I’m going to ruin the bed. 

She must have said those thoughts aloud because Tommy quickly said, “Don’t worry about the bed, love.  We’ll get another one if we have to.”  The pain was only getting worse, and she had to shut her eyes and bite her tongue to prevent a groan from escaping.  She didn’t know how much time had passed before Polly and Ada came rushing into the room, shoving Tommy into the hallway.  When it was just the three of them, Y/N finally let out a guttural moan.  She didn’t remember this much pain when she gave birth to Ben.  Something is wrong.  Something is not right.  Those words chanted in her head like a mantra.  Polly set her up on her bed while Ada used a wet towel to wipe away the sweat beading on her face.

“Just breathe, Y/N,” Polly chirped soothingly in her ear. “Ada and I are here.  We’re going to take care of you.”

Anxiety coursed through her veins and unfurled in her gut when the pressure between her legs began to increase.  She tried to cross her legs and prevent the inevitable from happening, but Polly and Ada wouldn’t let her.  Tears of pain and fear streamed down her cheeks.  She wanted to scream at them to stop and let her try to stop this urge to push.  But the pain and pressure were too much, and the only sound that came out of her mouth was a low groan. 

She could feel Polly’s hand between her legs, and the words “crowning” and “push” floated to her ears.  Ada took her hand, and Y/N tried with every fiber in her body to not push, but her body had other plans.  She held her breath and begged her body to stop forcing her baby out of her, but it was too late.  The pressure was building.  Climbing to a peak that felt like it would rip her in half until suddenly, she felt relief.  Her heavy breathing filled the room, and she waited impatiently for the tell-tale cries of her baby, but they never came.  She opened her eyes and looked at Polly and then at Ada.  They both just stared back at her, and Y/N knew something wasn’t right. 

“Y/N,” was all Polly whispered, and she knew.  The silence was deafening.  She lay there, completely exposed, bleeding, and sweaty, and waited, but her baby gave her nothing.  Her eyes shut and then, without any strength to stop it, let out a crushing wail.  The tears overflowed, and when she opened her eyes again, she watched the door burst open and Tommy storm in.  He moved over to where Polly held their baby and looked down at their motionless child.

“Why isn’t she crying?”  He asked. 

It was a girl.  I had a baby girl.  Even through her tears and sobs, she could see Tommy’s chest rising and falling at a rapid pace.

“Why isn’t she fucking crying, Pol!?”  Tommy’s voice boomed through the room and mixed with her loud cries to create the saddest song.  She could see the distress in the slant of his shoulders and how he ran a hurried hand through his cropped hair.  He didn’t wait for anyone to answer his question before bounding across the room and landing on the floor next to her.  His hands found hers, and she could feel them shaking.  His lips pressed to Y/N’s forehead and cheeks, absorbing only some of the tears that continued to cascade down her face. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, but the way his voice cracked in her ear told her he didn’t even believe those words.  “I love you, Y/N.”  She could hear that his words dripped with the same despair she felt.  “You know that, ey?  I love you, and it’s going to be okay.”

Tommy’s words echoed in her head as she watched the fire blaze around her daughter’s wagon.  She wanted to be convinced that his words were true, but she couldn’t bring herself to believe them.  When the funeral finished, they all returned to Arrow House, where the wake was being held.  Even being in a crowded room surrounded by family, Y/N felt alone.  Her whole body was like radio static – unfeeling.  Tommy’s hand was on her lower back the entire time, but she still felt like she was floating away.  Nothing could tether her to this reality anymore.

Several people approached her and Tommy, and with every person, a new empty comment emerged. 

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” which loosely translates to, “Boy, that sucks to be you.”

“I can’t even imagine what you’re going through,” which means, “I’m really glad I’m not dealing with that!”

And, “At least you still have Ben,” equates to, “You shouldn’t be upset when you still have one kid alive.”

With every consolation tossed at her feet like the change she used to find on the ground when she was a child, this unknown sensation began to build in her chest.  It was heavy and wild, like an untamed animal.  It was red and bared its teeth, ready to bite.  It was something Y/N had never felt before.  She was usually understanding, calm, and collected.  She wasn’t hot-headed or easily provoked.  But now, she was quickly discovering that what she was feeling was rage.  Hot and stormy, it ravaged her insides, and instead of beating it back into its cage, Y/N leaned into it, letting it hold her battered and broken soul up.

After the wake, Y/N let her sadness swallow her.  She hid in one of the guest rooms daily and even went as far as to avoid Tommy.  She couldn’t bring herself to look at him because every time their eyes met, two things happened.  1) she could see the grief he was carrying like cinder blocks chained to his neck, and 2) she could see the way he looked at her like she was a broken piece of artwork now.  She knew she was a shell of the woman she once was, but it hurt her even more to know that Tommy saw it so plainly in her, too.  He didn’t see her as the strong, independent woman he fell in love with.  No, now she was a ghost of her former self, and she couldn’t take his pity for having lost their daughter and herself. 

Although clearly grieving, Tommy didn’t seem nearly as phased by their loss as Y/N.  He was able to jump back into work, and now, nearly a week since the wake, he was back to being fully invested.  If Y/N were being honest, she envied Tommy for being able to distract himself.  She couldn’t do anything but hide from the memories that haunted their home and do her best to still be a good mother to Ben.  When a week finally passed since laying her daughter to rest, Y/N knew she had to do something.  She would talk to Polly and beg for some sort of work.  She didn’t care that Polly insisted that Y/N take some “time to heal.”  She needed a distraction.  Being in Arrow House felt more like a prison than a home.

Y/N got dressed and began to head for the door after handing Ben over to Frances.  But, as she approached Tommy’s office, she could hear him talking.  She peeked through the tiny crack to discover John and Arthur sitting at Tommy’s desk. 

“Ada’s handling the Communists.  She’s got someone on the inside who’s giving us information,” Tommy stated.  “And,” he shuffled papers around on his desk, “I’m…dealing with Father Hughes.”

“And what about the horny princess?” John asked, leaning forward and adjusting his jacket.  “You gonna figure out where her family keeps the jewels?”

Tommy waved him off.  “I already know.”  That single statement had both his brothers and Y/N leaning forward just slightly.  Tommy lay a large blueprint on his desk, causing the brothers to stand.

“They keep their entire collection in this strong room.  There’s no way to get in from above without a key,” Tommy stated, flattening the paper and looking up at his brothers. 

“So, what’s your plan, brother?”  Arthur asked like a good soldier.  Tommy straightened slightly, and Y/N could tell he was a little uncomfortable.  He pulled a cigarette from his case and slid it across his bottom lip before lighting it and taking a drag. 

“We’ve gotta tunnel in,” Tommy said without hesitation.  Those four words landed on the Shelby men like a grenade, and Y/N could almost feel the atmosphere shift at the statement.  None of them moved.  It was evident that the idea of tunneling hadn’t been a thought in any of their minds since the war.  Tommy cleared his throat. 

“I know,” he began, “but there’s no other way.  I’ve already got Johnny Dogs ready to help.  He’ll set up camp where we’ll start the tunnel.”

The air was thick, and again, neither of the brothers spoke.  She knew they didn’t like the plan, but they would comply because Tommy was giving the orders.  Y/N watched as John and Arthur fiddled with their suit jackets, their anxious energy hitting her like a baseball bat to the face.  It wasn’t until Arthur blew out a puff of air and ran his hand through his messy hair, exposing his apprehension, that Y/N knew what she would do.  Without even a second thought, Y/N opened the door to Tommy’s office, and all three men turned to face her.  She was only adding insult to injury as the silence in the room became even heavier.  Neither of her brothers-in-law had seen her since the wake, and the uneasy energy was almost palpable.  Tommy stepped toward her but didn’t get too close, which Y/N could see his brothers noticed.

“Y/N, is everything alright, love?”

Her eyes flitted between all three of the Shelby men for a moment before finally landing back on Tommy.  She knew she probably looked like a deer in headlights.  Her stare was frazzled, and she knew she looked a bit harried.  But she still squared her shoulders and stated with the most conviction she could muster, “Let me help.”

All three men’s eyes widened to the size of saucers, but only one spoke. 

“Excuse me?”  Tommy asked, incredulity lacing each word.  There was no going back now.  Y/N had to double down on her commitment.  So, she waved her hand toward the blueprints on Tommy’s desk. 

“With the tunnel.”

Tommy’s eyes turned a shade darker, and Y/N could see his jaw tick.  She only glanced at John and Arthur for a second, and they both looked like they might choke on the thickness of the air.  She felt like she might, too, but she held her ground.  She was not a fragile porcelain doll and could help her husband like she used to.  Tommy coughed, then turned to his brothers and, in a calm voice, asked, “Would you mind giving me a moment with my wife, boys?”

Neither of the brothers wasted a second before hustling out into the hallway.  Once the door shut behind them, Tommy’s steely gaze landed back on Y/N.  Before, she would have felt a little nervous under Tommy’s intense glare.  She had never inserted herself into his shoddy business in the past.  But now, she didn’t care.  She needed a distraction and a way to prove that she was still a force to be reckoned with even after her loss.  Y/N could see Tommy trying to contain his anger as his nostrils flared and his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides.  His eyes shut for a brief moment as he took a deep inhale.

“Are you fucking insane, Y/N?”  He finally asked, his voice level.  Y/N’s mouth fell open, and she reared back just slightly.  But before she could say anything, Tommy continued.

“You’ve been avoiding me, your husband, for a week in our own home, and when you decide to finally speak to me, that is what you say?”

Y/N rolled her eyes.  “Tommy.”

“No, Y/N!”  He shouted, causing her to startle.  “You can’t just move past this!”

That statement made Y/N see red.  In the week since Lily’s passing, Tommy did precisely that.  Y/N’s spine straightened, and her whole body became rigid.

“Why not!?” she shouted back, stomping toward Tommy.  “Is that not what you did?  Pretend like we didn’t lose our daughter?  You threw yourself into your work.  Why can’t I do the same thing?”  Her chest was heaving, and as badly as she didn’t want them to, she could feel tears pricking at her eyes.  She hated that she was a frustrated crier.  Her fists were in tight balls at her sides, and every muscle in her body was flexed.  She was ready for a fight.  She was prepared for Tommy to yell back at her.  In fact, she wanted him to yell at her.  She wanted Tommy to tell her how stupid her idea was and that she was out of her mind.  She mentally begged Tommy to scream at her for barging in on his meeting with his brothers and even thinking about tunneling.  Y/N wanted to feel the passion he usually had toward her before they lost their baby.  She needed him to reassure her that she was not a lost cause he was housing but his fierce wife.  But he didn’t yell.  The fire in his eyes dimmed, and his features softened.  The pity eyes were back, and she was struck by the sadness she was trying to escape.  She shut her eyes in a lame attempt to avoid looking at her husband and keep her tears at bay, but it was futile.  The tiny droplets fell down her cheeks, and when she opened her eyes again, Tommy was right in front of her.  He lifted his hands to cradle her face, and she hated how she melted into his touch.  It had been a week since she even looked at Tommy, let alone touched him.  She couldn’t lie, she missed him.  But it was easier to hide from the pain and suffering they both shared than deal with it head-on. 

Y/N let out a shaky breath and looked into her husband’s eyes. 

“Why can’t I, Tommy?” She asked, barely above a whisper.  “Let me help you.  Please.”

Tommy’s thumb stroked her cheeks, wiping away a stray tear.  He cataloged her features, and for the first time in a very long time, she wished she could see into Tommy’s thoughts.  She stared at him and hoped that everything she wanted to say was conveyed in her eyes.  I’m no longer the same woman I was a week ago.  I’m a failure as a woman and a mother.  I’m alone, letting my thoughts eat me alive.  I’m scared you won’t love this broken woman I have become.  Her eyes pleaded for Tommy to let her prove that she could still be the same person as before.  She needed to prove to him and herself that she wasn’t hopeless.  But when Tommy shut his eyes and let out a sigh, she knew his answer before he even said it. 

He looked at Y/N and said sotto voce, “You know I can’t, love.”

Y/N’s body went rigid, and that new familiar sensation began to bubble in her gut.  She could feel it rumbling and swirling, mixing with her fear and sadness, creating an uncontrollable fury.  It burned like venom, but she found herself welcoming the sting.  Her once soft features hardened, and Tommy noticed the change immediately.  Her stare was blank, and the joy that used to fill it had vanished.  Before losing her daughter, she never understood why the war had changed Tommy.  She supported him while his experiences ravaged him, but she never knew why he returned with a harder exterior than when he left.  But now, after suffering such a devastating loss, she understood.  There is no coming back from witnessing a tragedy. 

Tommy’s rough thumbs brushed against Y/N’s tear-stained cheeks and bent until his forehead rested on hers.  “Where did the woman I married three years ago disappear to?”  He said, his breath fanning over her face.  He pulled back, his distressed stare locking Y/N in place, and whispered, “I know she’s in there.”

The words stung like a slap to her already bruised ego.  She could feel the weight of that question in every bone of her body.  All her fears began raging a war inside her head, and she could feel her armor cracking.  She could feel the tears clogging her throat, burning as she swallowed them down.  Her lungs felt like they weren’t getting nearly enough oxygen, and she was only seconds away from either crying or breaking something.  With a swift step backward, Y/N separated herself from her husband.  She hated to admit that her body yearned for Tommy’s hands back on her, but she batted that thought away as quickly as it appeared.  Tommy slowly lowered his hands back to his sides, and she leveled him with a callous stare.

“That woman is gone, Tommy,” she spat.  “She burned to ash with her daughter a week ago.”  She could see the way her words landed on Tommy like bullets striking his chest.  Some of her felt bad, but the angry beast slowly becoming her new persona convinced her she did nothing wrong. 

Y/N waited for Tommy to say something, anything, back to her, and when he didn’t, she turned and reached for the door.  Confidence that felt different from what she was used to coursed through her body like electricity.  She was a little scared of who she was becoming, but those wild and fiery feelings of rage were the only things that brought her peace.  Before pulling the door open, she turned back toward Tommy and said, “If you won’t let me help you, Tommy, I’ll find someone else who will.  You forget, my roots run deep in this business, too.”

Tommy let out a dry laugh.  “You’re really threatening me, now, ey?”

Y/N’s grip tightened around the cold door handle, and, through gritted teeth, she growled, “It’s not a threat, Thomas.  It’s a promise.”  Without a second look, she flung the door open and stepped out. 

John and Arthur straightened at her abrupt appearance, and she just brushed past them, letting her feet carry her toward the front of their home.  She knew they heard her and Tommy’s conversation, but she didn��t care anymore.  This newfound boldness that her bereavement had granted her washed away any and all anxiety.   

“Hope you enjoyed the show, boys,” Y/N tossed over her shoulder toward John and Arthur.  “Next time, I’ll sell tickets and make talking to my husband more worthwhile rather than a waste of my time.”

She didn’t turn back around to see their reaction to her words.  Instead, she showed herself out and hopped into one of Tommy’s many vehicles.  She would find another way if he wouldn’t allow her to help.  The image of a tall Jewish man whom she briefly met a while back when Tommy first started expanding into London entered her mind.  She knew exactly who would be more than willing to give her a hand in her effort to help the Shelby family – Alfie Solomons.