#Tokyo Philharmonic Orchestra | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hiraethwa · 8 months ago

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one summer day

08 to be human. where ushijima forgets that he is only human and you remind him

<< 07 sun and moon. | >> 09 (coming soon)

pairing: ushijima wakatoshi x reader a/n: sorry it took so long to post this part, it just never came out right - ave word count: 2.6k warnings: angst, fluff if you squint tags: @lemurzsquad

your violin rests on the stand in the corner, practice for the first chair audition forgotten as you once again get distracted checking your phone for any new notifications.

you click into the group chat anyway, scrolling through their updates from tokyo. the latest text time stamped 8:59pm three days ago was a photo of the three of them at tokyo tower, with a caption of ‘missing our fourth :’)’ from semi,. there was another one of them with their food at their hotel and a collection of random photos that they thought to send you when they are away for a match.

then there’s the photo you had received from tendo of ushijima doing a push-up while you were eating, causing you to choke on your food and coughing within an inch of your life. you did a double take and true enough, he sent it to you as a private message.

you had left him on seen, naturally.

sliding down to your knees with your back against the wall, you let the device clatter to the floor next to you.

tonight the silence is deafening in your ears. you thought you enjoyed the peace and quiet that you get to yourself in your home, but perhaps you had just grown accustomed to it. just like how you had grown accustomed to being around your friends, even enjoyed their company.

you hug your knees, feeling a certain hollowness in your heart in the shape of a certain someone with eyes of the color of your favorite drink. you allow your memories to rush over you, remembering the night you shared as the weather turned cold, huddled in your barely warm enough jackets with a thin blanket laid out on the freezing ground, sharing your dreams for the future under the night sky with only the stars as your witnesses.

“i am going to go professional as a volleyball player,” wakatoshi had shared with you. not surprising as he was one of the top three spikers in the country, it had only seemed natural, almost expected of him. “tokyo, maybe.”

you had turned to lay on your side, head propped up on your elbow to look at him in all seriousness. “i never told anyone, but my dream was to go play for tokyo philharmonic orchestra. after all these years, i think i still want to do it.”

you shrugged, “i know i am nowhere near good enough yet, but i want that to be my reality someday when i become good enough. i have been working hard to audition for the first chair in the school orchestra. the teacher even said that with a little more work i have the potential to be in that position next year.”

you stopped abruptly, having realized you were rambling. it must have sounded stupid, you thought. you were nowhere good enough, unlike wakatoshi, to go to the national stage, and yet, here you were, talking his ear off about wanting to join the tokyo philharmonic orchestra.

you dropped onto your back, looking away into the darkness of the night. “never mind, that was stupid.”

“no, no, look at me.” but you had refused, thinking he was probably just trying to make you feel better about yourself.

his hand had cupped your face, gently turning you towards him. your heart skipped a beat, feeling his skin on yours, and realizing that he was close enough for you to feel the warmth of his exhale on your freezing cheeks. it was right that moment that you were so sure that your cheeks burned under his touch.

when you met his eyes, you had expected to see surprise, but to your own surprise, you found only pride and belief in them. as if he saw it coming. that he believed in you.

“let’s go to tokyo together then,” you thought you saw hope glimmering in his eyes that night.

or maybe it was the reflection of the twinkling stars, you keep telling yourself to quell your own hope rising in your once barren heart. wakatoshi had gone and planted a whole garden lush with flowers of every variety you could think of. had watered and tended to the shrubs with care and affection. with stolen glances and half-smiles.

in his absence, your heart yearns for its owner. i’m yours i’m yours i’m yours, your traitorous heart whispers in his presence.

you are afraid. for you have learnt that hope, this fragile thing with feathers, has been singing its tune in your ears this whole time. you are scared of being the only one who feels this way and getting hurt. you are scared that this whole time, you are the only one who needed him, that he does not need you. you are scared that hope has skewed your perception and you have been lying to yourself about the small possibility that he feels the same towards you.

a frantic knocking breaks you out of your thoughts. to your surprise, you find semi at your door with hands on his knees, panting for breath. a ghost of a smile passed over your face, reminded by the time wakatoshi showed up in a similar fashion on your doorstep.

“when did you come home from tokyo?” you frown, unaware that the team is back from nationals. you take in the defeat in his eyes, the quivering hands by his side. and you piece it together. the radio silence since three days ago. the fact that he is back home in sendai. oh. oh.

shiratorizawa lost.

“i thought he told you, he said-” semi shakes his head. “never mind”

before you could say anything else, semi pushes past you into your house, grabbing a thick jacket and holding it out for you to wear. confused, you oblige, and he pushes you towards the door, fishing out a random pair of shoes. “it’s ushijima. we need to go now before that idiot does something stupider.”

semi pulls you into a fast paced run passing familiar houses and scenery. on a route you recognize because you walk it to school everyday. to shiratorizawa, you realize.

“semi-” you protest through your panting, unused to the physical exertion on your body. your lungs are burning, throat dry and hurting with every breath that irritates it further.

the cold wind bites at your skin. the barren tree branches swaying as if urging you on towards wakatoshi. worry clouds your mind, running through the worst scenarios that could be happening right down. if they had lost the nationals, why didn’t any of them tell you? and the ‘he’ semi mentioned, who could it be if not ushijima?

the blood freezes in your veins as you come to the conclusion that ushijima decided not to tell you. ushijima decided not to tell you.

the volleyball gymnasium comes into sight as your breath catches in your throat, feeling it squeezed out of your lungs. lips trembling, you snatch your hand out of semi’s, as you double over, retching onto the exposed ground next to the paved walkway.

semi looks at you worriedly, rubbing your back guiltily. “i’m sorry”

your eyes meet his, lips parting to ask for an explanation, but not before another wave of nausea hits you. “what happened.” you manage the question before taking a shuddering breath, trying to remember how to breathe as the world spinned before your eyes.

“he’s not stopping. or listening to any of us.” your body sways as you stand up, so semi guides you to the entrance, looping an arm around your waist to support you.

you immediately find him on the court, ordering shirabu for another set. the young setter seems conflicted over his words, but tosses to him anyway after some hesitation. three other players trying to block his spikes. exhaustion showing through their sluggish movements.

and ushijima. you notice the unfamiliar black pad gracing his left knee. semi huffs, “his knee is irritated but he refuses to rest, and the first years are too scared to not listen to him, even if it is for his own good. the rest of us, we tried to talk to him, but he is not listening.”

the sight of him causes embarrassment to bloom in your chest. you have a pretty good guess of who semi meant when he said “he didn’t tell you?” earlier. your cheeks flush scarlet not only from the exertion of running here, but also from the betrayal you felt from being left out of the loop. how could he?

“what makes you think he would listen to me if he wouldn’t listen to you guys? when he didn’t even bother to tell me that you lost in nationals?” you clench your jaw, tamping down on your rising temper.

“y/n!” tendo shouts excitedly from the other side of the net, looking like his savior just arrived.

you give him a glare in return. they are all complicit in withholding this information from you.

ushijima winces as he lands on his feet, the spike bouncing off the back corner of the court. your traitorous body reacts instinctively to make sure he is fine, hand reaching out towards him as your feet itches to bring you to him. your heart betrays your mind, worry for his well being threatening to overcome the disappointment and betrayal you feel.

you clench your fist, lowering it to your side. semi gives you a look, to which you respond, “don’t”

ushijima turns around, almost surprised to find you there. then his eyes dart to where semi has his hand on your waist, and they darken as he meets your stare. as if semi crossed an unspoken line.

you lift your chin, holding his gaze as if asking what about it? your chest heaves in angry short breaths, barely noticing how the court dies down as the second years quietly usher everyone out.

and then he starts walking towards you, looking so much like a hunter who caught his prey in a trap. you tense, unknowingly taking a small step backwards. you had a feeling this is how his opponents feel when they stand on the other side of the net against him. and yet, they had won the match against shiratorizawa.

you feel taken aback when he leans down and envelops his arms around your frame, head nuzzled into your neck. the sensation of his breath on your skin as he breathes you in skyrocketing your heart rate. traitorous heart.

it is unlike the ushijima you know to behave so intimately. sure, it is common for some physical affection here and there as friends, but this… you swallow. this, you think, is crossing the invisible line as friends. suddenly, the unwelcome thoughts of him liking you back invade your mind, and spiral into whether you should tell him. but what if he does not feel the same way?

you don’t know if your fragile heart can survive that. you shake your head, banishing the thoughts away into the void.

your brain tells you to push him away, to keep him at a distance with your anger, while your heart wants you to pull him closer and never let him go. you blink, heart at war as the two sides fight for dominance.

you lift your arms to return the hug, but hesitate as the logical side of your mind reminds you of the person in front of you. he is not meant for you. a tiny crack appears in the heart he put back together. you clench your fists, about to let them fall back down to your side, when you felt something warm trickle down the dip of your collarbones.

and your heart breaks all over again for him. you hug him back tightly, one hand buried in his hand, with the other running up and down his back to soothe his tired heart.

one last time, you promise yourself, remembering the line he’d drawn between you by not telling you about their loss. the last time you put him before yourself, you think, as you shove your own disappointment and anger away. but you couldn’t help the question that popped up in your head before you did just that — what exactly am i to you, toshi?

you know there is no words you can say to make the loss hurt less. you know he has replayed the match over and over in his head so many times to analyze their mistakes, and likely came up empty handed.

so you offer him something else instead. “you promised me to take care of yourself.” a quiet invitation. a safe space to express his locked up feelings, having to play his role as the captain in front of their team.

you could almost taste the disappointment and the sadness of the defeat from the way his shoulders started shaking and the warm liquid wetting your jacket. oh, the things you would do to take his pain away. even at the cost of your own heart.

that night, as you pulled the blankets over him after giving him an earful about pushing his limits when his body needed rest and moved to leave, he asked you to stay. despite your better judgment, to which you blamed it on the time of the night, you climbed into bed next to him after putting one of his shirts on.

with little protest, he had pulled your shivering frame against his, arm slung over your waist as his breathing slowed and he fell asleep. you had whispered his name in the darkness before turning around to face him.

there was a little frown between his eyebrows that you smoothed away gently. you thought that he looked younger in his sleep with his mouth slightly open in an ‘o’ shape without the weight of the world on his shoulders. your hand rested on his cheek, admiring his profile in the light from the small rays of moonlight peeking through the blinds, bathing him in a soft glow.

with your parents, you thought you had seen the worst love can do to a person. with ushijima, he’s the one who’s seen you at your lowest, the first one you want to tell your good news to, the one you want to see after a long day, long before you fell for him. it hurts on a different level that he doesn’t see you in the same way that he is there for you. that he doesn’t feel he can come to you with his own problems when he was there for you.

and it frustrates you to no end. what does he expect out of this, really? when he ran to your house that night? it makes you angry, but you don’t regret it. this feeling in your chest, it makes you want to pluck the moon from the sky and give it to him. anything he wants, you will give it to him if you could.

without him, you would still be lost. he had shown you the way out of that darkness, stayed by your side through it all. why wouldn’t he let you do the same for him?

when the morning came, you were gone before he woke up. there was no trace of you having stayed the night that ushijima could have sworn he dreamed you up in his arms. except a mildly threatening note for him to rest and stay away from practice that sends a smile tugging at his lips.

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tadpolesonalgae · 1 year ago

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Blurbs

Below, you will find:

Orchestra + Eris Rainy Day + Helion Drunk + Lucien Visions + Elain

Eris taking you to an Orchestra

Requiem Lacrimosa by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (London Philharmonic Orchestra)

“How much longer?” You whisper subtly in Eris’ ear.

You’ve been here for what feels like hours, and he’s barely paid you an ounce of attention—hardly a flick of his eyes!

His lips twitch, hand discreetly sliding over your own, “this is a highly skilled orchestra, I’ll have you know.” You scowl at him playfully, linking your fingers with his own, but his attention remains below, on the musicians.

You stifle a groan. “Eris, come on,” you whine quietly.

He gives you a sidelong look, then leans into you. You stiffen as his lips brush the shell of your ear. “Consider this your punishment then, for that little stunt you pulled last night.” Warmth flushes your skin as you remember what, precisely, said stunt entailed.

A smirk tips the edges of your lips, shooting him a lustful smile. “Want me to apologise for my behaviour, Eris?” You ask, a mocking lilt to your voice as he stiffens beneath your touch. “Now, now,” he murmurs, gaze burning into you as he removes his hand from beneath your own, instead gripping your throat lightly. You almost purr at the action, entirely disregarding the music in the background.

“Why do I get the distinct impression you’re trying to get under my skin, fawn?” He asks, giving you an equally arousing grin. You merely bat your lashes at him, offering a mockingly innocent look. He snorts softly, rolling his eyes, releasing you. You fight against the disappointment as he goes back to the music.

You slump in your chair a little, folding your arms over your chest indignantly as he seems set on ignoring you for the night. But then it appears he changes his mind. “Behave until the next interval,” he whispers, making you start a little, having not noticed him leaning in again. “If you can do that for me, then we’ll leave early, and you can get what you want.”

Rainy day w/ Helion

Tokyo by RM

The rain pitter-patters on the ceiling, tapping lightly as you watch silently from the window.

It’s another grey day, dark and miserable. Despite the Day Court generally boasting clear skies, and blazing heat, the odd storm rolls in from time to time, and they can take weeks to pass. Sometimes it’s difficult to not let it get you down.

“What are you doing up so early?” A deep, male voice rumbles from your bedroom. You turn, smiling a little when Helion settles beside you on the sofa. “Couldn’t sleep. Didn’t want to wake you,” you murmur. His brow dips a little, taking in what are probably the deep lines beneath your eyes. “Well, I’m awake now, so how about we look at this weather together, huh?”

You smile, leaning into his warmth, nodding. Maybe it won’t be such a bad day after all. You always feel better when he’s around.

That is, until Helion decides to open his mouth again. “We’ll weather this storm, huh?” You groan, a reluctant smile stretching your lips as you turn to take him in. “That was awful,” you say, “utterly awful.” He returns your smile, not at all ashamed of the poor pun.

“I’ll be as awful as can be if it earns me a smile like that,” he murmurs, making you duck your head in embarrassment. He laughs quietly, gently gripping your chin so you’re looking into his eyes. The two of you watch one another for a while, and then he’s leaning forward.

You melt beneath his touch, basking in the hot press of his lips, the sturdy warmth of his body as he pulls you into his lap, kissing away your blue mood.

Drunkenly walking home w/ Lucien

Crush by Big Marvel

“How many drinks have you had?”

You offer him a slightly lopsided grin.

He sighs, hand tightening around your waist. “Why do I ever believe you when you tell me you’ll watching your consumption?” He asks, rhetorically. “Because you love it,” you laugh, tucking yourself into his side. Lucien smiles, indeed enjoying how you cling to him as he leads you to bed.

“You aren’t going to another party like that. For at least a month,” he mutters, pushing the door open to your shared chambers. You give him a smile that tells him you know he’s just saying that. “I’m serious,” he insists, “it’s not good for you to be doing this so much.”

You wave him off, managing to stand relatively steadily, making it the few stumbled steps to your bed. You turn to him, settling your ass comfortably down on the plush mattress. His singular russet eye burns with the heat of a forge and you can feel his heat and intensity from across the room.

A sweet, little smile plays on your lips as you give him a look that tells him exactly what you’re thinking. “Then it’s a good thing my husband takes such good care of me, isn’t it?”

Comforting Elain after a vision

Glassy sky by Cat Trumpet

“Hey,” you murmur, walking up to her side. “What are you thinking about?”

She doesn’t look at you, doesn’t so much as reply as she continues staring across the misty city. It’s early, the sun barely peeking over the horizon, yet she’s already awake.

You peer at her for a moment longer, her creamy skin seeming a little too pale, a damp shine across her brow, and—a tinge of fear on her scent. She had a bad night. That or another vision swept over her. It’s been a while since they’ve disturbed her so deeply, and you want nothing more than to pull her back to bed so you can pamper and care for her.

But sometimes, she needs silence. The quiet of the morning air the perfect solution. She doesn’t want to talk right now, and while it hurts you that you can’t give her that comfort, you can stand by her. You can give her company, the knowledge you’ll be with her, through whatever it is that has so deeply unnerved her.

So you walk to her side, looking out over the colourful rooftops, a few distant cries from some sea birds echoing. You slide your hand into hers—skin like ice—and squeeze gently. Just once, to give her a tether back to Velaris, should she need it. Her skin is clammy, her fingers trembling a little, but she gives a soft squeeze back.

At once you’re a little more at ease, a quiet breath escaping you.

She’s still here. Still with you.

She might be off in her own head, but she’ll return.

Taglist: @myheartfollower @tcris2020 @mali22 @amygdtjhddzvb @sfhsgrad-blog @needylilgal022 @hannzoaks

#Eris #Helion #Lucien #Elain #Blurbs #Eris x reader #Helion x reader #Lucien x reader #Elain x reader

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