#Tokujiro Aoyagi

[thatoneweird014]

More Toyabros: Eating habits

//tw for eating disorders

Also none of this reflects how I feel about food btw!

I mentioned in the Toyabros post - very briefly - that all the Aoyagi sons have terrible eating habits, but I do have a bit more to say about it!!

How it developed:

They don't view eating as a need need, like drinking water or washing your hands. For them, it's similar to how you listen to music: does it help you? yeah. Does it have positive effects? yeah. Will you die without it? nah, not really. Like, you could probably go a couple more hours/days. If you were to ask them whether work or eating is more important, they'd say work because they're all so problem-oriented. It's not that they feel like, "I deserve to starve", it's more of, "I could eat... but do i really have to? right now?"

This is because of how they were raised. Harumichi never told them 'don't eat' but he put so much emphasis on their studies and piano that they were practically internalised those two things as being the only things that truly mattered.

This whole thing started with Toushiro since he's the 'prodigal' and 'most well-behaved' son. Since he's so keen to meet his father's expectations, he just put food to the side in order to focus on his piano and studies. Not that he was told to, but he just figured that it was kinda getting in the way, I mean, first there was all the time spent eating, then he'd have to wash his hands then he'd have to wait for them to fully dry off and for all the oil to be gone before he could touch the piano again. It was essentially a waste of time. And since he's the eldest, when Tokujiro came, he just did what his brother did and ended up adopting the same habits. It was even worse for Toya because when he started copying their eating habits they were both teens and were at the age where they had just completely given up on themselves, so he ate the least from a youngest age.

How it's going:

Toya overcame it the fastest. He met with Akito when he was pretty young and Akito noticed he would barely eat, so he would drag Toya to the pancake and coffee café after school and practice and order for him. Toya didn't want to eat initially, but he felt bad about wasting the food since Akito did spend money on it, so he ended up eating more every day until it just became routine. That, and the fact that two of his most frequent locations are either Weekend Garage on vivid street or the café in sekai.

Tokujiro had trouble overcoming it. He just never actively thought about it, it wasn't something that he bothered with. In fact, it got even worse when he went abroad to study in America. His mother was practically the only reason he was eating anything at all, so when he no longer had her he completely self-destructed. Even now, he has frequent depressive episodes because of how distant he is from any stable support system. He comes home the least as well because his father refuses to accept his leave of absence requests due to thinking he hasn't done enough. Luckily, he did make about two friends there (who only met him because they had to work on a piece together) who, upon realising he never ate properly, constantly invite him out to eat. The first couple of times he could barely get in a couple of bites before feeling disgusting. Now, he devours several plate-fulls of food whenever he gets the chance. He still needs to be brought to food and told to eat - he struggles to do it on his own - but when he does, he doesn't leave a single crumb anymore.

Toushiro got a bit better when he went abroad. Since he studies so hard and gets all his work done relatively fast (he does have gifted kid syndrome, so this does mean that while it's done well, it's also usually done last minute), he has a bit more time on his hands. At first, he spent all this free time practising until his instructor locked his piano and hid the key, telling him that he needs to spend his free time actually doing something he enjoys, otherwise his performance will get worse. This was a novel concept to him. Taking breaks?? is good?? He struggled to understand the idea for a long time so he'd ask his instructor for recommendations who immediately told him to get food because of how insanely skinny he was. He said he was fine with just water and coffee. His instructor told him that was the problem. He does eat a little more now, and of his own accord, but it's not really proper meals, it'll mostly just be an odd sandwich here or there and maybe some fruit if it's available nearby. Oh, and those sandwiches are always those tacky, store-made ones. The people who know him struggle to understand how he enjoys them but are just glad he's eating, even if it's only one bite every fifteen minutes due to being so focused. This isn't a habit yet, but he's working on it. Maybe. If he gets his eyes off those damn books for one minute.

Bonus:

Toushiro also gets depressive episodes, but unlike Tokujiro who gets visibly agitated and offensive, his are more subtle. They'll include him blanking out in front of the piano, or buying the food but not eating it for days after he's bought it, or not contributing as much in conversations he's usually happy to have (he talks - relatively - more about a topic he knows a lot about) and stuff like that. They are less frequent than Tokujiro's but last for longer because it's harder for him and others no notice the signs.

[thatoneweird014]

TOYABROS FIC BABYYY

[thatoneweird014]

we coming out of writer's block with this one

[thatoneweird014]

TOYA'S FAMILY HCs (mainly toyabros):

Toyamom:

I don't think Toyamom is actually that bad (at least not as shitty as Harumichi). Does she stop him from being a bitch? No, but she doesn't encourage him either. She just kinda... stays out of it, which is still bad but when she's with the kids on her own she is very kind and sweet with them (not for any ulterior motives or gaslighting kind of way). When her kids would confide in her that "mom... I don't want to play piano", she would tuck them in, kiss their foreheads, rub their side and say "it's alright. Look, you got that part right today didn't you? You're improving very well :)" It's because of this that the kids slowly began to latch onto her if they ever felt like they needed praise (I'll talk more about this later).

While she isn't a perfect person, she is still probably the only member who hasn't fully given up on the family yet. The Aoyagi kids slowly grow out of telling her all their problems because she doesn't/can't really do anything about it, but they do like her. She always tries to smile when she greets them, even as her face gets worn with age and as her hair starts to grey. Also, her hair starts to grey early because of stress. She knows everyone has given up on this sorry excuse for a family and is probably the only one still trying to pretend they're fine. The Aoyagi kids go along with it because they don't want to see their mother suffering and because deep down they all partially hope that there is still something salvageable in this.

Toyabros:

I came up with names for them but idrk if im gonna keep them as their permanent hc names so if you have any better ones lmk!!

Toushiro - Eldest:

appearance: 6"4, slightly stronger than Toya but still relatively skinny; short, light blue hair; black glasses and tired, beautiful, deep navy eyes; is always wearing something semi-formal, doesn't wear button-ups or anything but his clothes are always perfectly sized for him, never too big or small (kinda like an npc).

Toushiro follows your typical eldest child formula: your destiny is written from the moment you are born, you will be the prodigal child and there's nothing you can do about it. He's probably the only one of the sons whose more reserved than Toya and he constantly has bags under his eyes (the second son - Tokujiro - does as well but they're less heavy). Both sons wanted to do something other than music once they got to their teens but unlike Tokujiro who tried and failed, Toushiro didn't try at all because, in typical eldest sibling fashion, it's too much of a risk to give up the only thing you're practically good for. He's also the son who latched onto their mother the most because praise is to an eldest sibling what cherry-flavoured vapes are to thirteen year olds - give us one whiff of it and we'll chase it for the the rest of their lives (I do not vape for the record). It's because of this he's the only son who calls home from abroad every now and then to check in with their mother and very rarely their father on the two occasions he's ever showed up on videocall. He also eventually grew to just accept his life as a pianist. He's not fully happy in it, but he's come to accept that this is his life and tries to find joy in it.

When Tokujiro was born, Toushiro was originally kind of excited that he wouldn't be alone anymore, that there someone he could teach piano to himself. He got shouted at for it. One time when he was trying to teach Tokujiro piano, Harumichi came down, completely enraged, and yelled at them for making such terrible noise and using the piano so carelessly. "But, mother lets us..." "I don't care, touch that again and I'll make you practice through the entire night." Toushiro was left so afraid from that encounter that he never took Tokujiro to the piano room again. When Toya came, he just kept his distance, he was busy with recitals anyway (he was seven at the time of Toya's birth). As he got older, he tried to form a connection with Toya on the few times he came home. He felt bad for not being there for him when he was younger. One of the first things he asks when he comes back home now is "where's Toya?" He barely gets to see him because Toya's either at school or asleep when he gets back and he usually has to leave very early again the next day. However, on the few times they do meet, it's very awkward because you can see he's trying but they don't really have anything to talk about, especially since he can't talk about the piano anymore. It's even sadder because while he's abroad he compiles a list of everything he wants to tell him when but he gets home they can barely get past the "hi... how are you?" stage to ever get there.

Tokujiro - Middle child:

appearance: 6"0, shorter than Toushiro but much more "healthier" (all the Aoyagi sons have terrible eating habits, this is just appearance-wise) ; dark blue hair which is longer than Toya's, but it never goes past his shoulders and he usually ties it up a lot as well; softer blue eyes, much closer to silver, yet he still manages to always look stern; rougher hands from all his 'escape' attempts; wears plaid button-ups a lot (like ichika) and it's always untucked

Tokujiro is much more salty and angry at everything. He was five when Toya was born but was much more distant, largely due to him being really angry now that he realised just what kind of a life he was stuck in. When he found out Toya started street music, he became insanely stand-offish towards him because he had tried throughout his entire childhood to get out of his horrible life (he hates piano much more than Toushiro does) and he had gotten beaten and yelled at for it and Toya just?? gets to do it?? He used to constantly makes passive-aggressive comments about Toya's choice to perform (he does this less now) whilst saying how well he's doing at piano but he doesn't even know why he's doing it anymore, probably just to make himself feel better if anything because he really hates his life. He'll purposefully not give his all in performances but since he's an Aoyagi you'd need an insanely skilled ear to pick up on it.

When he was younger, he'd look up to Toushiro a lot, even after he distanced himself. Even now, despite his snarky and 'go fuck off' attitude, some desperate part of him misses his brother who would take him to the piano room and teach him, and he longs for him back. Also, at about age thirteen or so, he had discovered CDs of some music that was very much not classical music in his brother's room and played it when no one was watching. That was his first introduction to rock music- and he LOVED it. He'd constantly sneak into Toushiro's room to listen to them. One day Toushiro caught him and it was kind of amusing cause that was the first time he saw his brother so nervous.

"Toku? Toku! What are you doing?"

"I'm not the one with" - checks cover - "RAD WEEKEND CDs." (I hc that back when they were just emerging on the scene, RW did a lot of rock music, so much so that they released exclusive albums for their rocks songs)

"How did you even find those-"

"They're cool. Why didn't you show me?"

"Because- we're not supposed to... wait... do you like them?"

"Yeah, they actually sound good."

"..."

"..."

Then they'd frequently listen to rock together. Until their dad found them. And then broke them and yelled at them for tainting their ears with that garbage - "no wonder you've become worse lately." Tokujiro saw this as more of an excuse to rebel, in fact, he tried to start a rock band with the few friends he had (this got discovered and broken as well) - Toushiro was devastated to hear this and it only made him grow even further away from his brother. He only partially blames Toushiro for the growing distance between them, whereas he fully blames their father.

Both brothers together:

Sometimes their concert venues/study schedules overlap. It doesn't happen as often as they like, but it still does. To the outside eye, they interact like complete business professionals, as though their only relation to each other is through their work and not blood. However, they are there for each other. Toushiro will use these moments to try and subtly uplift his brother. Tokujiro always brushes it off and acts like he doesn't care but he does listen and sometimes take it to heart.

They both had private education together. Toushiro, even though he wasn't content with it, would sit quietly and listen. Tokujiro would do silent acts of rebellion, stuff he couldn't technically get in trouble for, kind of like Rui (i think him and rui would actually be besties ngl. In another life maybe :")) ) He'd do stuff like hand in assignments at the very last second and ask a bunch of stupid questions. The only reason he didn't get a stern talking to about this (at least not as much as he should have) is because all his work was actually done to a high standard and was correct. He had, during this period, also tried to start a rock band, but due to being so secluded from actual society he had maybe only two friends, the receptionist's kid from the shop his mother would sometimes take him with her to, and one kid he frequently met whilst trying to sneak out. He always seemed stoned af but maybe that was just his persona, he liked it either way. Toushiro knows if his brother gets caught he's going to be absolutely fucked. A part of him wants to stop him but the other part of him wants him to succeed, to prove there's an escape, so he just stays quiet and if he's ever questioned about what his brother is up to, he just says he doesn't know (to protect him). Lo and behold, his brother gets caught, receives the worst talking to of his life as he sits in his room, hands trembling above the piano feeling guilty as fuck for not having stopped him sooner.

They both have a minor jealousy for Toya. Toushiro eventually overcomes this in order to try and fix their bond whereas Tokujiro just pushes it down. Because what do you mean he's doing street music and not getting fucked over for it? What do you mean he's going to a PUBLIC school and has so many friends? What do you mean he's doing something else with his life, something he's happy with and getting away with it? They had both tried to do the same and gotten beaten the fuck up for it and he just?? gets to do it?? No lecture or anything? And what do you mean he TALKS BACK TO THEIR FATHER.

"Hmph, that's barely an achievement Toya."

"But I'm proud of it, I think I've come very far."

HELLO??? IF THAT WERE US TALKING WE'D BE FUCKING DEAD. They both stare in disbelief the first time they see Toya do this (on separate occasions, they talk about it to eo next time their schedules overlap). They think Toya gets a shitload of leniency from Harumichi. They're pissed off about it but don't hate him for it. At least one Aoyagi gets to be happy.

Bonus:

Toushiro doesn't like family dinners because Harumichi would spend the entire time berating his brother for his 'unruly' (he's an Aoyagi, remember) behaviour instead of praising him for he does right. This still holds true. When he goes home Harumichi barely bats an eye at him whereas he starts complaining when it's Tokujiro. Tokujiro just lets it flow in ear and out the other, he doesn't bother trying to 'prove' anything anymore and Toushiro just doesn't try, there's no point.