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mrs-i-have-too-many-biases · 6 years ago

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A love like silk// Han Jisung pt3

Bad boy!Jisung

Genre: Angst/ Fluff

Summary: Silk, one of the softest fabrics on the planet. It’s breathable and comfortable. Just like how he was to you. He gave you space to breath. He always made sure you were okay. Yet why, do people say he’s bad to you? He gave you a love that’s soft and tender. A love that involves soft touches, tight hugs for comfort and sweet talk, smooth like silk.

Word count: 5,2k

Warnings: Terms of bullying, signs of depressed themes (if you look well).

“Is there something I can help you with?” Y/n asked confused as Jiyeon kept moving closer to her. She was about to say something until Yasmin interrupted, dragging Y/n away from her.

“What was that?” Yasmin asked her friend as they walked back outside. “I don’t know, she suddenly started to talk to me.” “Ever since you got into this school, you’ve been getting into trouble. Like first Jisung and his little friends and now the meanest and most popular girls are after you.” Yasmin groans. “Wait, what?” Y/n said. “Jiyeon is the most popular girl in our school, well at least she was.” “What happened?” “You came to our school.” Yasmin stated. “I don’t get it.” Y/n said in confusion.

The girls stopped walking and Yasmin explained to her, that ever since she got into this school, the boys were drooling over her instead over Jiyeon like they used to do. Yasmin also told her friend that Jiyeon has been trying for years to get close with Jisung and his friends since she clearly has a crush on Jisung.

“I still don’t get it. Boys like me?” “Y/n, seriously. Can’t you see how they look at you? Only Chan and his friends are not like that though, but every other guy in our school is basically fantasising about this exotic girl from Singapore, who speaks different languages.” “So, basically they like me, because I’m a foreigner.” Y/n laughs. “Yeah, pretty much. But, also since you’re so different from other girls. Like, you don’t always wear makeup and they seem to love that. You are comfortable with literally anybody, I guess boys are into that.” Yasmin laughs as well. “Speaking about boys, shall we return to Jisung and the others.” “I guess so.”

The girls were walking back, not noticing that Jiyeon was glaring at them from behind their backs. Her blood was boiling and she stormed off before anybody could catch her like this.

Jisung had been waiting impatiently for Y/n (and Yasmin) to return, he wanted to be around her as much as possible, but he didn’t know what he could do. After lunch break was over and most of his friends had gone back to the places they had to be at, he went to his class. Something he usually didn’t do, but Y/n got this vibe around her that made him wanted to do good things. He also almost told his friends about how he babysits Hyunsun every weekend, and that that’s why he can’t always hang out.

But, he quickly shook that off as soon as they left. Even though Jisung was in class, he wasn’t paying attention. And that was like him. His mind was once again settled on Y/n. He groaned loudly in frustration, confused by his feelings. Also catching the teacher’s attention.

“Just a sore throat sir.” He would reply. ‘In what way could I get her to like me- wait hold up.’ He said to himself. He stared outside in shock, seeing that she was having PE class at the moment. His mind was blurry, making it hard to think straight. ‘Do I really like her?’ He asks himself. He looked outside once again to see you goofing around with Yasmin as you played basketball.

Jisung was smiling to himself as he watched her through the window. ‘She’s different.’ He states clearly in his head.

‘She’s not like the girls here. They secretly wear makeup and are too shy to talk to guys, when they do want their attention. Y/n on the other hand, she just talks to everybody. Even the teachers seem to like her. She’s cool.’

Jisung smiled to himself once again, getting comfortable about the thought of falling in love with her. ‘If only the boys knew.’ Jisung chuckled to himself, till he reminded something.

Jiyeon.

“It’s Jiyeon, isn’t it?” Minho had asked. “Yeah sure.” He had answered without thinking.

‘Shit.’

Jisung groaned once again, realising the trouble he had begun. Because he knew Jiyeon could find out any moment. He didn’t really like her. Yes, she had a pretty face, but she wasn’t his type. Jisung shook it off and ran out of the classroom to find Y/n, because they had English together.

“Alright class take a seat. Today we’re going to do something different. First, I’ll be testing your vocabulary by asking you to translate the English word to Korean. Second, I’ll be setting you up in pairs for a presentation you’ll have to make and present.” The class groaned loudly at the thought of having to present in front of the class.

“Sir, that’s so old school though.” One of the students tried. “Well too bad then, I’m the teacher and I get to say what you do I the class.” “Can we at least-“ “I’ll be telling more about the presentation later, now first. A test on your English vocabulary.”

Jisung had claimed a seat next to you. He was staring at you whilst he laid his head on the table. Y/n took a glance to her right where Jisung was sitting and laughed. “Is somebody tired of babysitting Hyunnie?” She cooed playfully as she caressed and pinched his cheek teasingly.

Jisung’s heart had skipped a beat by the sudden touch of her fingers. “She is a handful.” He admitted making Y/n laugh before she focused on the class again.

“What is ‘매혹적인’ (maehogjeog-in).” The teacher asked, but the class was silent.

Y/n looked around carefully, before raising her hand carefully.

“Yes, Y/n.” “It means ‘fascinating’.” “That’s right.” The teacher smiled.

The class was surprised and kept on going. Jisung was surprised as well and poked her in her side to get her attention.

“May I ask you something?” He whispers. “Sure.” “Why didn’t you tell the boys about Hyunsun?” “Well, I thought you might wanted to seem ‘manly’ in front of them. And it’s also up to you to tell them. That’s why I backed you up. Why are you asking?” She asks. “Nothing special, I was just wondering-“ “Jisung what is ‘조심해’ (josimhae) in English?” The teacher interrupted.

Jisung stared at the teacher, not knowing the answer. The teacher sighed and looked around the class for somebody who did knew the answer. You raised your hand once again and the teacher let you answer.

“It means ‘be careful’.” You answered. “Very good Y/n, you have studied abroad right?” The teacher asked you in English. “Yes, I’ve studied and lived in multiple countries.” She replied in English as well. “Very well, where have you lived?” “I’ve lived in The Netherlands, France, Singapore and some other countries.” “Heckler.” One of the students said, Y/n quite down instantly. ‘Here we go again.’ she thought to herself.

The teacher eventually gave up on the vocabulary test and explained what the presentation was about.

“You can make it about anything, but everything has to be in English. You can make a movie, just a plain PowerPoint presentation, but everything has to be in English. You can tell me your topic when you have one, I’ll give you guys until the end of the week. Now, the partners. Jisung with Y/n-“ A loud ‘what’ was screamed through the class, everybody looked around to find out it was Jiyeon.

Jisung was smirking, happy that he now had an excuse to be around her. Y/n smiled at him, making him go almost lovesick. Jiyeon on the other hand was ready to throw some hands. She went to the teacher to ask if she could change partners with Y/n, since ‘Y/n didn’t know anybody, so it wouldn’t matter.’ She had told him, but he didn’t give in, which made her whine in annoyance.

When school was over Y/n was asking herself what she was going to do today. When she was about to walk off she was turned around with a tug by Jisung. “Hello there sweet cheeks, seems like we’re partners.” He smirked subtly.

“That’s right. Do you have time today? Maybe we can brainstorm for a topic?” She suggested, making him smile. “I’ll have to cancel the boys, but they’ll be fine with it.” Jisung says as he took out his phone. She was about to protest, but he was already done texting them before she even could.

“Your place or mine?” He asked as they started walking. “I think we can work at my place, my parents are at work.” She says, without thinking about how that would sound aloud. Jisung laughed, telling her that it might be too soon for that. “N-no, I didn’t mean it like that!” She panics. “I know sweet cheeks, I’m just teasing.” Jisung winked before you kept on walking.

For some reason was Y/n nervous to have a boy in her house. Jisung gasped when he walked into your place, shocked by how big it was. “What do your parents even do for a living?” He yelled as he got overwhelmed by the size of your living room. “Well, they are both CEO’s of an international company, that’s why we’re abroad so much.” Y/n explained casually as she poured some drinks for Jisung and herself.

“You can sit down Jisung-“ She started “Are you sure? It looks expensive.” He jokes. “Shut up and just sit.” She took her laptop and started typing away.

They sat in silent for a while as they tried to come up with an idea.

“You know, I don’t even know you that well. I don’t know what you’d like to make a presentation about, if I don’t know you. So, how about we get to know each other a little more.” Jisung suggested as he leaned back on the couch. “Sure. What do you want to know?” She asked before she took a sip of her Fanta. “Do you have a boyfriend?” Jisung asked, making her spit out her drink almost. “What does that have to do with our presentation?” “You might like romance things, like Romeo and Juliet or romantic music, like love songs. I don’t know.” Jisung tried to cover up.

‘Nice job Jisung.’

“I do like romance, but no. I do not have a boyfriend. But, what do you think about music?” Y/n suggests. “That sounds great. We can compose a song together.” He said without a thought. “Calm down pretty boy, I can’t write music. I do play instrument, but I can’t compose.” “But I can.” Jisung admitted shyly, making her look at him in shock. “Really?” She asked surprised. “Yeah.” “That’s so cool! Is that what you do with Minho, Woojin and the others?” “H-how do you know, did they tell you? We never tell anybody about this kind of stuff.” He stuttered. “No, I just figured. That’s so cool Jisung! Can I hear something you made?” She asked him excitedly.

Nobody had ever been so excited about his music before besides the guys, not even his own parents. And it shocked him. It felt nice thought, having somebody like that.

“I-I don’t have anything on me right now, m-maybe you can come along with me when we’ll compose something?” He stammered. “Really? That would be so cool! I would love that!” Y/n clapped her hands in excitement, making Jisung chuckle at her cuteness. “Cute.” He mumbled under his breath. “What?” “What?”

After an hour or two the two of them were done with homework and decided to get something to eat. “Can’t your chef make something for us?” Jisung had joked as he saw the size of her kitchen. Y/n laughed before she pushed him outside, because she was hungry.

They found a pizza place and decided to eat there. They ordered a big cheese pizza and shared it together. And for some reason, the two ended up making each other cringe with lame pickup lines.

“Hey, you’re pretty and I’m cute. Together we’d be pretty cute.” He says as he smirked at you. “I would take you to the movies but they don’t allow snacks.” You shot back. “Was your father a thief? Because someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.” He told her, making her giggle. “I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?” He started once again. “Jisung, first of all, I live in a house. And you know the directions to it.” “Guess it worked then.” He laughed making her shake her head in disbelief. ‘This boy I swear to God.’ She thought. “Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Why? Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.” You smiled sweetly as Jisung started laughing loudly, congratulating you as he gave up on the contest. “Thank you. Thank you!” She said dramatically as she bowed.

After sitting at the booth, just talking together and having a good time. You two were suddenly interrupted by an familiar voice. “Jisung?” It was Chan.

“Oh hey!” She greeted cheerfully, still high from hers and Jisung’s laughing fit. Chan didn’t return the smile and stared at her without an expression on his face. “Chan what are you doing here?” Jisung asks as he looked up to his older friend. “I think I could ask you the same thing. I thought you had a study session.” Chan barked. The tension that hung in the air was taking Jisung and Y/n by surprise. “We did, we just came down here to get some food.” Y/n said. Chan just hummed before he looked at Jisung. “Seems like you only studied one another’s face.” Chan mumbled. Jisung sighed and Y/n sat uncomfortably.

Jisung excused him and Chan before he dragged him outside of Y/n’s sight. “What’s going on with you?” Jisung hissed. “What’s going on with me? I could ask you the same question. I understand that you have to cancel plans for school, since education is important. But, I don’t liked being lied to. Especially, when it’s about a girl. What happened to ‘bros before hoes’?” Chan snapped back. “Look, first of all she’s not just some girl, okay? We were actually working on our English project together. But, her parents weren’t home and we were hungry. So, we came down here.” Jisung explained. “Alright, that might be. But, just make sure she’s not getting into your head too much. We got attacked today by some random guys.” Chan admitted.

Jisung’s eyes widened asking Chan what happened. “I don’t know what happened. Some guys attacked us out of the blue. Jeongin got hurt and Seungmin has some bruises on his head. And not to make you feel guilty or anything, we kind of needed you today. This could’ve ended up really bad if our neighbour didn’t come in between us.” Jisung sighed and decided to do what was smart: he went to see if his friends were okay.

He quickly walked back to Y/n who was patiently waiting for him to return. She flashed him a smile, which disappeared quickly when she saw the worried expression on Jisung’s face. “What’s wrong Ji-“ “I’m sorry. I need to go right now. The boys need me. I’ll pay you back for the food tomorrow at school.” He said quickly. “Y-yeah sure. You don’t have to though. I ate most of it. But, you go it seems like it’s serious.” Y/n said worried shooing Jisung off.

Jisung ran off with Chan to wherever they needed to be. Y/n sighed in slight disappointment before she paid the bill.

The walk back home was boring, she liked being around Jisung. He made things fun. It then suddenly started to rain softly and Y/n felt her mood switch a little. She tried to focus on the nice day she had with Jisung as she walked back home.

When she had arrived she noticed an unfamiliar backpack laying on her couch, it was Jisung’s. She thought about calling him, but she texted him instead. Saying that she’ll return it to him at school tomorrow. She gathered all his stuff and packed the bag. She also noticed a shirt that was folded neatly inside his bag. It was a band T-shirt but she had never heard of them. ‘3Racha?’ Y/n thought to herself. ‘Like the sauce?’ She laughed to herself before she put it back.

The next day was Y/n waiting for Jisung in front of the school. Yasmin had given her friend weird looks, since she held two bags. “Are you running away from home?” Yasmin joked. Y/n laughed, before telling her friend that it wasn’t hers.

When Jisung had arrived, late as usual, he was surprised to see Y/n waiting for him. He thought she looked cute. She wore a baby blue long sleeved shirt that was quite too big for her, stuffed into her black ripped jeans as she looked around to kill time it seemed. Jisung noticed his bag that was in his bag and remembered that his shirt was in it. He hoped she didn’t see it, she might be asking questions about it.

“Hello there sweet cheeks.” “Hey ‘Sungie! I have your bag.” She chirped as she handed the bag over. “Aren’t you late for your class?” Jisung asked. “I could ask you the same thing.” Y/n laughed. “Were you able to handle your business with Chan and the others?” Jisung jumped in surprise when she asked him. “Did you hear?” Jisung asked carefully. “No, but I saw that you were worried, so I assumed it was about your friends.” “It was actually. Somebody fought the boys and they got hurt, so I went to check up on them.”

“Oh my- are they alright?” Y/n asked, now she was also worried. “Yes, but Jeongin’s injuries are the worst out of all of them. He broke his left wrist and he has a lot of bruises on his head. They apparently knew he was the youngest and also quite vulnerable, so they attacked him first.” “That’s awful.” Y/n said, before they walked into their classroom. Apparently the teacher was late, so they were in luck, not having to go to detention.

The day went on quite smoothly, if you leave chemistry out of the story. Jisung thought it would be smart to turn the gas of the flame as high as possible, almost burning his eyebrows off as he hung above it. Y/n screeched loudly when it happened, clinging onto him as she was worried that he got hurt. Jisung on the other hand was laughing his ass off. Y/n would hit him whilst whining that it wasn’t funny. “You’re cute when you’re worried about me Sweet cheeks.” Jisung winked making her blush harshly.

Jisung was standing against the lockers as Y/n was gathering the books she needed. Jisung looked around and saw his friends walking past him, who didn’t even bother looking at him. Y/n noticed that it bothered Jisung. He hadn’t talked to his friends all day and when they had lunch he sat with her and Yasmin.

“Jisung, are you sure you’re alright? I noticed you’re acting a little different than usual.” Y/n wondered.

“They boys seemed quite mad. Especially Chan when he caught us at the restaurant. But, you shouldn’t worry about it sweetheart.” Jisung stood up and petted her head before he walked off to the toilet.

Y/n sat on her own as she waited for her friends to return. She was minding her business as she kept her attention on her phone, when suddenly a figure blocked the sun in front of her, making her look up. “Hello again outsider.” Jiyeon spat as she stood there with her friends in front of Y/n. “Can I help you Jiyeon?” “You actually can. I told you to stay away from Jisung you fucking witch.” “And as you can see, I don’t care about what you say. You can’t boss me around.” Y/n stood strong. She knew how girls like Jiyeon were like. They loved to look down to other people to make themselves feel better. They seemed to life off this kind of ‘power’ and Y/n couldn’t despise people like this more than anything.

“Listen up you brat. I don’t think you know how we work in this school. I don’t care how your other schools were like and what your status was. You don’t belong here. You’re just a nobody to us. You’ll never be on our level. Just let Jisung be. You’re not his type honey.” Jiyeon’s group of friends laughed behind her, but Y/n was not impressed. She just stared at Jiyeon with a smirk.

Words like this, coming from her wasn’t going to work on her. And Jisung noticed too. She turned crazy to be honest. Through the years she got used to them, she would consider herself immune. Jiyeon started pushing Y/n as she kept screaming filthy words in her face. The teachers seemed nowhere to be found and people were gathering around the scene, not even bothering on helping Y/n.

‘Five against one? Seems pretty unfair.’ Y/n thought to herself as she was pushed around.

“I honestly don’t know what makes you so stupid Y/n, but it sure it working.”

Before Y/n could say anything a thick substance was poured over he and thrown into her face. Y/n was now raging and attacked one of the girls by grabbing her by her hair. The girl screamed in pain and in disgust as the smoothie that was thrown on Y/n landed on her as well.

Meanwhile as Jisung walked out of the guys’ bathroom he heard people running around. He didn’t think much of it, as he was lost in a train of thoughts. ‘What if Y/n did see the shirt, would she have looked up the group? No, she wouldn’t, right? She’d look cute in it though- wait what.’ As he kept on walking his ears caught somebody saying that Y/n and Mina were fighting. Jisung ran along with the others. He saw the two girls fight and also a teacher who showed up to separate the two.

Jisung noticed that Y/n was covered in a pink substance and he walked up to her. The closer he got, the more visible Jiyeon’s smirk was. He knew she was the cause of this. The teacher was scolding the girls, but Jisung decided to take Y/n away from the scene before it would get any worse, not that that was possible though.

Jisung had dragged Y/n into the nurse’s office and helped her clean up. “Thanks ‘Sungie.” She whispered. As he dried her now-washed hair. “Your welcome. Wait here, I’ll get your something else to change into. Your shirt it all wet. I don’t want you to get sick.” He said in a serious manner before he ran off.

Before Y/n knew it, he had returned with a shirt. Y/n recognised it, it was the shirt that he left in his backpack. “Here, wear this.” He laid the folded shirt on her lap before he walked out once again so she could change this time.

Not much later she called him back inside and he had to contain himself from screaming. She looked absolutely adorably in his big shirt. It was a simple black shirt, long sleeved, and there was a logo on it that said ‘3Racha’. “Isn’t this yours ‘Sungie?” Y/n asked as Jisung was back in the room. “H-how do you know?” He stutters. “I saw it in your bag last night when you left your bag at my place.” “I didn’t know you saw it.” “Why? Is it special or something?” Y/n asks playfully. “Something like that.” Jisung admitted. “It’s a small group that I’m part of.” Jisung added shyly to Y/n’s surprise. “Really? I didn’t know you were a rapper!” “Nobody does, so please keep it down about it, alright?”

Y/n agreed without asking any further questions, except to herself. ‘If he’s a rapper. Why wouldn’t he want to be successful? What if he’s really good? I wonder what his voice would be like.’

When Y/n’s hair had dried up and she felt like walking back into school again, the day went on. Lots of boys asked her if she was alright and if she needed anything, she should call them. She didn’t of course. She was flattered and touched by their offer and took them politely, but she didn’t needed other boys’ help when she got Jisung right beside her.

Y/n felt fuzzy inside. The way he took care of her out of nowhere took her by surprise and it made her heart race. Never had anyone done something like that for her besides Yasmin. Y/n smiled as she walked next to Jisung, thankful that he sat down next to her that one day.

It was the second period break and Y/n sat alone at a table. She noticed Jisung’s friends, who still had been avoiding Jisung himself all day, they were staring at her. Or what their eyes made it belief, they stared at her chest. Y/n shifted uncomfortably as she continued to eat, until once again a figure stood in front of her.

Automatically assuming it was Jiyeon, Y/n was about to snap, but then she noticed that it was Woojin and Chan. “Sorry, I thought you were Jiyeon.” Y/n laughs slightly as she scratches the back of her head. “What about Jiyeon?” Woojin asks. “Just drama. Can I help you by the way? I saw you staring towards my direction-“ “Where did you get that shirt?” Chan asks bluntly. “I-I borrowed it from Jisung-“ “Where is he?” Chan cuts her off once again. “He has class right now, but he might be skipping- never mind he’s gone.” Y/n sighs as Chan had left in the middle of the conversation.

Woojin gave Y/n a small smile before sitting across from her. He looked around the canteen and noticed everybody looking her way. “They know.” Woojin states. “They know what?” “That you’re wearing Jisung’s shirt, I can see the jealousy on the girls’ faces.” Woojin laughs as he saw Jiyeon’s angry face.

Y/n was confused with Woojin’s statement until she took a look around herself, he was right. “This shirt, it’s your group right?” Y/n softly asks. Woojin looks at her in shock and as he opened his mouth, no words came out. “He told you?” He finally could make out. “Yeah, you guys have a music group right?” “Well, ‘3Racha’ is a group that Jisung, Chan and Changbin are part of. They are the rappers.” Woojin explains. “Did he tell you anything else perhaps?” Woojin wondered. “No, why?” “Nothing, just wondering.”

Meanwhile Woojin and Y/n were talking and having lunch, Chan was storming through the hallways to find Jisung. And just like Chan and Y/n had predicted, he was skipping class. Chan found the younger boy in the back of the library, taking a nap.

Chan roughly moves the arm of the younger boy, which his head was resting on, making his head fall onto the table. Jisung groans as he woke up. “What was that for- Chan?” “Why is she wearing our shirt?” “What-“ “Y/n, I just spoke to her and she’s wearing a ‘3Racha’ shirt.” Chan snapped at Jisung who was rubbing his eyes. “Oh, yeah. That’s my shirt.” “No shit Sherlock. But why is she wearing that. You know what name that name gave us.” Chan hisses. “You remember what happened that night. You were there. Years later we’ve been trying to clear our name. Do you know what this could do to us?” Chan ranted. “Alright, I get it. I’m sorry. Y/n got into a nasty fight and they poured their drinks on her and I gave her my shirt since she didn’t had anything else to wear with her.” Jisung explains. “Why couldn’t you get a clean shirt at the nurse’s office?”

“I-“

‘I thought she’d look better in my clothes.’

“I didn’t think about it.”

“I thought it was kind of sad you know, she looked quite helpless and everybody was surrounding her and not even helping her at all. So, I stepped in and dragged her out of there.” Jisung says as he received a glance that meant ‘disbelief’.

When they boys had walked back to the canteen, Y/n had already left to her class. Jisung decided to skip another period, since his friends were here. Chan eventually went to the toilet and Jisung was left behind with Woojin. Woojin analysed the younger boy’s actions. He noticed that Jisung was texting Y/n, what he could read were texts saying things like: ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Wanna meet up after school or something?’

Woojin smiled to himself and Jisung noticed. “It’s nothing.” Woojin tried to shrug it off when Jisung asked what’s wrong.

“’Sup guys!” A familiar voice yelled through the canteen. “Minho! What are you doing here?” “I was planning on setting Jisung and Jiyeon up.” Minho grins. “W-what?” Jisung chokes on his drink when he hears the sentence leaving Minho’s mouth. “Yeah, you told us you liked her, but it seems like you aren’t making any moves. So, I’m here to change that.” “What do you mean?” Jisung questioned. “Well, I spoke to Jiyeon and you two have a date. When? I don’t know. You can figure that one out yourself. You can thank me later. For now, I have to pee. I’ll be back.”

Woojin once again analysed Jisung’s actions and facial expressions and Woojin could conclude that Jisung didn’t wanted to go on a date with Jiyeon. That’s when Woojin figured it out. Jisung liked Y/n.

“You like Y/n, don’t you?” Woojin blurts out, making Jisung try to hush him in panic. “How do you know- I mean I don’t?” “Please, you gave her your shirt. I remember your last girlfriend. You wouldn’t even let he borrow her your scarf and she was freezing.” Woojin states. “It was mid spring time and she was sick. Besides, that was my favourite scarf I wasn’t searching for any germs at the time.” Jisung explained. “Your girlfriend before that one took one of your hoodies without asking and you flipped.” “That was my-“ “Let me guess, ‘favourite hoodie’? C’mon Jisung, I caught you, just admit it.” Woojin chuckles.

Jisung sighs as he let his head down in defeat, making Woojin laugh louder. “It’s too late though.” Jisung says softly. “What?” Jisung didn’t say anything but just nodded in Chan and Minho’s direction who were returning. “Why is it too late though?” Woojin asks quickly. Jisung showed Woojin a text, send around the time Y/n was still having lunch. It was from Jiyeon, claiming that were going on a date.

“Drama is about to start.” Jisung mumbles.

#han jisung #han jisung au #han jisung fluff #han jisung imagine #han jisung angst #stray kids #stray kids jisung #stray kids imagines #skz #stray kids oneshots #oneshot #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #fluff #angst #stray kids han #han jisung boyfriend

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sikereviewdotcom · 5 years ago

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wilfred (2011) - season 1 ep1 “happiness” review

ok so today were reviewing fucking "wilfred" basically its a story about a depressed guy who tried to kill himself but he failed because hes a pushover in life and even suicide is mocking him yea jk actually his sis prescribed him placebo so the meds he used in his suicide attempt were useless yada yada

then he sees his neighbours (on who he tots have the hots for) dog as a man and hes like lol wtf why is there a furry standing in my yard? im not into dogplay dudette, please dont do this to me ah-

unfortunately for him the chick, on the next day asks to take care of her dog meanwhile because idk shit happens in her house? and she has to work? yea something like that so anyway he accepts because hes into her and out of it aswell more out of it than anything tho

our man, ryan is pretty disturbed but it happens anyway he has NO control over his life so why would he have control on a dog fursuit wearing 40 yo man? yea exactly wouldnt make sense

wilfred enters his house and smoke a damn bong thats right, a very efficient way to introduce what kind of character were up against see, jason gann has the perfect face for such character looking all dirty in that suit with a big ass black painted dog nose you gotta think "that dawgs up to no good" and youd be damn right keep reading to discover why so basically nm happens in this episode if it isnt the setting of all the shit because well ryan has a lot of issues and its gonna get worse you cant believe this dog is gonna make things better for ryan not really hes just scamming the loser with cheap tricks and drugs

btw after (trying) to vape or w/e with wilfred, the man falls asleep, wakes up because his sis whos a bitch, remember her

its important to spot whos a bitch in each show ill be reviewing its pretty easy to balance whos the antagonist and who isnt although it often is much more complexe than that which is why im here making it all very easy and very interesting, aside from lost cases like the magic school bus i cant make that shit any worse nor TOO better like i have limited power my reviews are sike but some shows are just nah back to our whipped cream: ryans depression: he is jobless ok? so his sis is mad that he doesnt make the effort to come work and do what he has to also he used to be a lawyer btw because his father wanted him to be and then his father died and he lost his job and he hated being a lawyer so w/e but he also seemingly lost all reasons to live and redacted more than one suicide letter so im not sure what to think about it he was really eager to die yknow his sis couldnt care less tho its like "yo stop ruining my image im trynna get you a job in my hospital fuckface" yea see that why shes an inconsiderate bitch

so instead of going to work because of wilfred, ryan takes him for a while btw that vermin also tries to get elijah (the actor playing ryan is elijah wood obvs btw so this series already gets 5 points to begin with i dont make the rules) to throw a tennis ball and dont forget this ball ok? its gonna come back and start a whole drama its the beginning of our adventure a ball

next theyre in a restauration thing eating chips and drinking a beer together dog and his friend then the waitress comes and

happens the tiddies eating, it almost one fucking minute im sure we could all feel the embarassement of having your animal rubbing its balls and penis against your friend whos over for the nights leg in the middle of spring and youre just trying to get it back but wow the hormones are hitting it hard its like a cleaning robot vibrating on a grandma whos cardiacs chest and you trynna take that little asshole away but for some reason its rubbed in olive oil so not only does it reeks of olive, its also slippery as heck and you can see your grandma spasmming on her soon-to-be deathbed, she has spasms for god sake no the robot no someone stop it from stimulating the old ladys torso ah shit marguerite died after drowning in her drooling

not even died of an heart attack nah, it was such a messy death she suffered so much no one could do anything its like the robot was sentient yknow and well same goes for wilfred hes making it on purpose but uses the excuse : he likes the boobs it nothing personal, ryan

w/e they leave after paying (not for the side tits tho, it was a freebie for dogs) after that shit happens (i wont spoil you EVERYTHING, im just painting a pic here ok?) at this point you could wonder "is wilfred being a dick on purpose or its just about said instincts? how much percentage of his behavior is actually dog and how much is ryans mind (the guy is deranged there is no denying that but how much? )) whats sure is that his owner likes her dog vm and hes maining that chick

good for him? but it also happens that before that, elijah just threw the ball above the gate and into his much less friendly neighbour because he was sick of the dog asking to throw it and so yea, there is a tension between ryan and wilfred not any kind of tension, exactly the kind of elija x reader fanfic i wanted to read except pov: im a canine furry and i smoke weed on a daily basis and im a jackass

theyre almost breaking up someone does something about it i was seriously getting into it wow oh no fuck look at me tearing one or two here

rip their new born bromance? or... is it all there is to it? well see no obviously its the problem we were waiting for because when our fella enters back home and idk whatever else happens its night and his sister comes home and she goes all "lol actually i gave you placebo itd be dangerous otherwise you numbfuck" but shes quickly muted once our man notices his dog friend in his yard... its time for a reunion a heart to heart conversation to proceed so he has to ditch his sis which he casually does bros before hoes

its again about the ball which HE WILL go and fetch by passing over the fence to get in neighbours yard but damn it cant be just that? wouldnt it make a lame crappy story? we need some actions, we got the tits, the beer, no job, delinquency has no limit so fuck it says the dog as he smashes the window and enters the bikers house because he SMELLS (like he smells the shit streaks you have on your pants) the weed, ryan is like "no fuck bro no shit fuck ah-" then sees the damn weed which they steal ok? hes really a pushover he has not got the right idea of stopping being one because thats what his new friends supposed to be here for yknow trynna get his loser into a winner, that lil camper gotta level up his game, go get into the business of life barging in kicking the door to enter, no shame nor hesitation were trying to make him STEP UP for HIMSELF but guess what? ill tell you later or itd be a spoil in a spoil surely a bad paradoxal medium w/e business going on blablabla theyre up to no good thats for sure as sure as how much ryans actually enjoy this the mans into this pee slash poop affair:

spoiler alert: he does it and

im just quoting him here : he never felt more alive nor glad to be so i guess thats whats life about shitting in peoples affair, stealing weed plants and quitting your job on your first day (you havent showed up tho so w/e you never really worked in that place no one knows you its all good you can get back in that place looking innocent and smiling with your broken ribs "yea nah i never had a job here and ditched yall huh" thats foxy of him kinda but not really since he had no intention back then to do anything for himself it was all strings pulled by a fucking dog hilarious really im having a kick haha no

so what next? theyre best friends? man and dog, a wonderful friendship happens he has no more family to support him but HE HAS A DOG guys he was so into it im feeling sorry for this hobot-to-be schizophrenic man

i wont spoil you but trust me when i say not to trust a furry who eats tits on your first date

in conclusion: it was a pretty decent first episode ill update my final thoughts on the first season once im done watching it but so far its recommandable the camera work is pretty cool like its not just thoughtless filming we actually have a nice feel to it, the setting of the series is esthetically pleasing you get nice colors and it aint boring, its not like a FRIENDS episode yknow? dawg i dislike how boring it looks filming wise for start but damn i aint reviewing FRIENDS rn so next, the comedy? after all its a comedy genre series not a drama, idk if id review an actual depressive show on here thatd bum the vibe out ok? i know im making all my revs awesome w/e it is that i choose to rate and comment but still im serving you a plate of my finest sheez not any fizzle in the mizzle ok?

anyway yea the humor aint bad, i havent laughed my ass of but i did find it amusing to watch the jokes may actually kick in in the second episode ill have to update this rev alright? just hang on to your balls peeps this fam will serve in due time

rating: 7,5/10 scenery/camera work 7/10 comedy 8/10 interest/entertaining points total: 7,5/10 for a first episode is fine enough to be recommanded, like a "give it a chance" sorta case yknow isnt the most hilarious show youll watch but its fine especially if youre into homoromantic tension between a furry and elijah wood

tg, out

#wilfred #review #series review #wilfred review #wilfred 2011 #furry #sike reviews

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ancientbooshartifacts · 5 years ago

Text

Broken Mirrors

Author: Evil_Kingdom

Year: 2010

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Vince/Richmond

Another Night, Another Bar...

Richmond takes a sip from his drink, some fruity dark red coloured drink, hell if he can remember what the name is. He takes a long gulp, shuttering at the after taste of alcohol. He thinks to himself what a weak man he is, far from what others he works with are like. Even Moss is stronger then him, and to everyone that says a lot.

But I thought you liked Moss?....

I do.

But you know he doesnt like you right?....

I know. No one likes me.

Oh dont be so hard on yourself Richie...

Shut up inner thought. Im tired of you being the only one to talk to.

He shakes his head, believing that maybe going out for a bit of air will be the solution to his problem. He gulped down the rest of his drink, places it carefully on the table, looks a round the room to see people giving him odd and funny looks

See? Maybe if you only dressed like them... maybe the would actually like you...

Not you too inner evil thought. Shut up

Richmond gives his head a big shake, then flattens out his long dark hair back into place. He then takes the steps through the crowd of people dancing irratically to the DJ with the toys up in the booth. He thinks to himself that maybe it was a bad day to come to the bar, a day when there is just too many people around. Not that he really minds that there are people around, it just isnt his type of people, so it makes for more awkward moments.

He instantly feels the cold air wrap around him as he pushes open the door. He cracks a small smile, feeling the comfort of a familiar friend

Hello Wind, nice to feel you again

He leans against the cold wall, closing his eyes for a brief moment, trying to collect all his thoughts and feelings.

Maybe I should just go home... Its not like im going to find anyone tonight.

Maybe you will never find anyone....

I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP.

He lets out an exasperated cry, slamming his fits beside him into the wall. Tears start to gather in his eyes as he opens them, looking up into the shine of the moon,

It will be ok Richie, it will all work out soon....

Thanks moon, I can always count on you.

Im the Mooonnn....

Looking out onto the darkness of the streets, he sees gaggles of people, all sorts of people, dancing and being happy, drunk and laughing.

Why cant I be like them? Why cant I have some friends?

Richmond sighs again, standing up a bit straighter, rubbing the scratches on his hands.

No need to be sad anymore. Im better then this, I can get through this.

Being depressed just makes you a stereotypical goth Richie...

Thats right inner thought. And I'm not one to be stereotypical.

Pushing off from the wall, brushing his hands softly over his dark red velvet jacket, he gives himself a smile. Tomorrow will be a better night, tomorrow he will find someone to talk to.

Tomorrow tomorrow...

Richmond stares at himself in the mirror, checking every pore on his skin.

Perfect whiteness. Though I could lay off the sun a bit more, then it would be more perfect.

You know its fashionable to have a tan now a days Richie...

I know. But thats not who I am, I am a confident attractive young man.

Just keep telling yourself that....

Shut up inner evil thought. You cannot ruin my mood today. I am going to go out a meet someone. Just you watch me.

Giving himself a big smile, flashing his clean and white teeth, he applies the final stages of his eye makeup, adding a touch of black glitter to the corners of his eyes making his blue eyes sparkle.

Moving to the closet double doors he looks into rows of reds, deep purples and blues, hints of green, and rows upon rows of black. But at the very end, far back in the walk in closet, you can see a hint of his past, 3 normal suits still hang from bar, still unable to give away the last of the past.

He holds onto them thinking one day, one day, he may actually have the want to try them on, try on what he used to be, what it was like to be the cool guy, the guy with talent, friends, and a job that doesn't include staring at flashing buttons in the basement.

As he grabs his favourite creepers, a pair of black spiderweb socks, and a deep purple button up jacket, he sits on his bed and begins to hum a Cure song, one that he cant seem to get out of his head...

Oh please don't ask me who i am

Or when and where my life began

Or why i ended up like this or how

Standing up he brushes himself off and walks out into his hallway, out the front door, and on to the streets. Walking at a slow pace he watches the moon that sits high up into the night sky, surrounded by little stars, faint to see in the brightness of the cities lights. Continuing down the street, turning left, then making a right, he finds himself smack dab in the middle of bar and nightclub alley.

Now which one shall I pray upon tonight... hmmm decisions, decisions.

You make it sound as if you will have people just throwing themselves at you when you enter the doorway, you do know you will probably drink yourself stupid and wander home, just like every weekend.

Shut up inner evil thought. I told you. Tonight is my night. Tonight I will come home victorious. Gotta be confident, show them that Im a great person.

Richmond smiles to himself, confidence beaming through him like a flaming dagger sword from his heart.

And then he sees him.

The perfect figure of a man.

Gleaming black hair, shiny with product, perfect shape and placement

But not a goth.

Richmond gives a questionable look, heart beating faster in his chest.

Well he is a he...right?

That doesn't change anything, Im quite happy with any sexual preference. Not to say i'm not picky, but love is love you know, it doesn't have a gender.

For the first time in his life, his heart beats fast, quickens his pace, and jogs up to the club, slipping through the door, staring at the slight in front of him

Lights gleam from the ceiling, flooding the crowd with different colours, music loudly playing, but not loud enough to destroy eardrums. Not a bad selection of music, thankfully, Richmond hoping that there wouldnt be an idiot DJ tonight. He searches the club trying to find the man with the perfect hair... Bingo. Right next to the bar, sitting alone.

Here's my chance. Don't fuck it up.

He takes a deep breath, straightens out his clothes, fixes his hair, and makes a casual walk towards the bar.

“One cherry vodka sour please.”

He leans on the bar, trying to be casual and confident, thinking to himself that it probably doesn't look the case, but as long as he doesn't look ridiculous, its all that matters.

Well there he is Richie... go for it..

I will I will. Don't pressure me. You know what happens when I get pressured.

You get all clammy and your voice goes all squeaky and then people stare and laugh at you....

Thanks for the reminder asshole.

Richmond turns and glances towards the man. He makes eye contact, seeing full well the man beside him is staring. His face goes pink, but he can't look away...

“Can I help you? Are you starin' at me for a reason?” The dark haired man tilts his head

“Uhh... ummm... no, I was just looking over, sorry to bother you. I don't mean to make any trouble..”

Youre pathetic Richie. What happened to your confidence?...

“I don't mean to be mean, you don't have to get all defensive.” The man gives a small laugh,

“My name is Vince, Vince Noir, you probably heard about me, I am the king of Camden Town”

The man, Vince, flashes one of the most gorgeous smiles he's ever seen, his confidence clears.

“Umm no, sorry, I haven't heard about you...”

But I would love to..

Richie go for it. Give him something else to smile about....

“My name is Richmond, and I would love to find out why everyone knows you”

Richmond tries to give himself a confidence boost, giving a small cheeky smile, turning back to pay the bartender and grab his drink.

“Would you like a drink? My treat?” Richmond glances over Vince, seeing that he chooses the glam rock style, not something he is used to, but man does he make it look hot. He slowly gives him a once over, looking at his tight shiny shirt, trailing down to his black tight pants...

His eyes linger on his bulge, his perfectly pressed bulge against his pants, perfect...

“Oi mate, eyes up here, k love?” Vince flashes a coy smile, giving a small chuckle

He snaps out of his daze, face going red

“Im sorry, I didnt mean to, I mean I wasnt..”

if your face could get any redder, you would be a tomato.

“I'll take you up on your drink offer, a flirtini please, extra sour” Vince motions for him to take a seat beside him, giving him a cheeky grin.

He returns with drinks, placing his preferred drink in front of him, sliding into the booth beside him.

Now what are you going to do Richie? You cant just get him wasted you know

I know that... Im working on it.

“You alright mate? You arent the drug type are you?” Vince tilts his head towards Richmond, catching his eye, “You look a bit spaced out. I hope im not boring you or nothin”

“Oh no, no... no problem. Im just not used to someone being nice to me, usually I get brushed off quick and that is that” Richmond tries to smile it off, like its nothing.

Vince grins, his hand slowly creeping up Richmond's leg, stopping to grab his thigh. “Good. A pretty boy like you wanted to know about me, so heres how it starts”

Popping the cherry from his drink into his mouth he leans over, hand trailing down Richmond's thigh. His mouth getting ever so close, Richmond feeling his alcoholic breath push against his face, heart racing a mile a minute.

This is it. He is actually into me

Richmond leans forward, opening his mouth, tongue flicking forward hitting the cherry stem, before closing the gap with his lips..

Tonight be all i dream

There isn't any yesterday

Tomorrow starts a day away

This here and now with you is how

Always should always be

This

Here and now

With you

#the mighty boosh #mighty boosh #boosh #the it crowd #it crowd #richmond avenal #richmond #vince noir #vince/richmond #vince noir/richmond avenal #richmond avenal/vince noir #richmond/vince

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bbhyuckie · 7 years ago

Text

jaehyun x reader

librarian! au

genre: fluff

words: 1.7k

warnings: realistic portrayals of college life lol

ive said before that im being self indulgent with posts

but this is really it

im really out here writing this

lets get into this mess

so youre studying right

and you yourself do not have a laptop of your own

bc welcome to being a broke college kid im calling myself out

so you decide that youre gonna go to the library on campus bc sis,, cash in on the tuition money ok

so you go and youre like wow hahahaha i dont have a library card better sign up for one

so you go to the desk and theres no one there

just your luck really

you decide to wander around a little to see if theres anyone who can help you

and low and behold you stumble across someone

this young man knelt down by a shelf with a book rack next to him just humming softly and organizing books

and you catch his attention by clearing your throat slightly

he looks up and his eyes are big over the rims of his wire framed glasses that are clinging to the tip of his round button nose

and his hair is a little mussed from being bent down

but holy hell

youve read enough novels to know that this must be exactly what the characters are talking about when they say things like ‘love at first sight’

“sorry” he says as he standcs and brushes himself off “can i help you with anything?”

starstruck really

you manage to stutter out something about needing to register for a library card and he smiles so kindly it makes u want to melt

“sure!’ he says, motioning for you to follow him back up to the desk

is this what a trance feels like???

he asks you a few basic questions, like your name, your age, and what building your dorm is in so he can put it all on your new nifty library card

and then he turns around this lil webcam on top of his computer and asks you to stand in front of it and smile

and you do, awkwardly

and as hes looking down at the computer counting “3, 2, 1” he has this smile on his face like hes trying to hide it

and if that didnt make ur heart jump you dont know what ever would holy

so he prints off your card as youre still trying to recover from being in the presence of an angel

and he hands it to you and smiles

“library hours are 8 am to 12 am every day, but on the weekends i’m the one that closes. which means if you ever need some extra time to finish that essay you pushed off,,, i wont tell anyone”

aND HE W I NK S

and not lot a hot wink

but a cute?? wink??? if thats possible

like you have a secret with him now and its safe

you wonder absently as you stare down at the black and white picture of yourself on the back of your new card if he tells everyone about him closing on the weekends

and if he doesnt does that make you special???/

you smile and thank him again, maybe a little more confidently than before and head for the door

you realise as youre halfway out that you came here to study on the computers but you really need some time to sit down and process the fact that you just say an actual angel

you can do your math homework on your phone for one more night if it means you can turn down your body heat from screaming blushing mess to slightly embarrassed rosy cheeks

the next time you get a chance to run by the library on campus, it just so happens to be sunday

you catch yourself wondering if dream boy meant friday and saturday or saturday and sunday when he said weekends

thats not important right now

what is important is that you have actual business to do in the library today

and that business is to pick up hamlet for your english class

you check in and someone else is at the front desk

you try not to let yourself feel disappointed

i mean you met him once for christs sake

the guy at the front is equally as attractive as dream boy from the previous week, but a little more relaxed to talk to since he isnt giving you any flirty subtones

the kid is all business really

he tells you that his name is doyoung if you need anything else

you ask how he got the job there, out of curiousity

because really, both of the librarians youve encountered seem pretty young for the standard librarian stereotype

doyoung explains that its a work-study job, so nearly all the people that work there are students at the university and work in between classes or on their off days to make some extra cash or pay off some tuition

and you can get behind that!!

so doyoung is cool and you decide you can go to him to ask questions instead

because while dream boy is a dream boy with pretty cheekbones and nice lips and a smooth voice and a good sense of style and a great height without insoles and looks great with glasses and has the most captivating eyes

hes a lil distracting lol

anyway you find yourself in the shakespearean section

and you grab a hamlet off the shelf and head back up to the front to have doyoung check the book out to you

and as hes handing you the book back you get a classroom notification saying that, despite common belief, the book rental wasnt due by tomorrow, but the whole book reading is due by tomorrow

you wonder how the fuck professors get away with shit like this and then you remember that you didnt bother to read the syllabus so you cant really get too mad at anyone but yourself

so you find a table that looks like it has the comfiest chairs and cozy up for a long evening of reading and annotating

(depending on who you are you either love or hate hamlet, either way it is exhausting to annotate anything from that man so bear with me ok)

five hours later and ⅔ of the annotations later it is 11:56pm

and you havent noticed

you hadnt noticed much of anything happening in the real world after you popped in a headphone and started reading about guards seeing a ghost

that is until someone plops down in the seat in front of you and asks

“so what are you studying”

and you look up, a little delayed because youre finishing a notation

only to find that its dream boy

and your brain blanks for a sec bc wow every time you see him its kinda like?? ouch???? my heart bro

so you just kind of shake your head and mutter some “im not really sure anymore”

and theres some truth to that!! first there were ghosts and now theres dead girlfriends dads and dead girlfriends and talking about a skull in a graveyard

that play is really a wild ride brother

and dream boy sits there and laughs, wholesomely

you could die happy

“yeah i get that” he says, rubbing the back of his neck

theres a pause that carries on a bit too long

“wanna hear a dumb joke?” he asks suddenly

you smile then, partially out of exhaustion and partially because wow?? cutie

“sure” you say

“okay. what do you call a nervous javelin thrower?”

you pause for a sec bc wtf

“dunno. what do you call them?”

he flashes this cute fucking grin that you know is supposed to be slick but just comes off as wholesome and says

“shakespeare”

and you shouldve seen that coming wow

and its so dumb that you actually??? giggle????? and that turns into a laugh??

youre probably just exhausted from annotations but maybe that was actually funny

and his smile softens like hes made progress on something

“y/n, right? i dont think i ever actually introduced myself. i’m jaehyun”

he smiles and reaches across the tabe and you take his hand

its warm and strong and you try not to think about it too hard

“well, y/n, library loses here in another two minutes or so.”

he sees the look on your face fall

“but never fear!” he leans forward and lowers his voice

you hold your breath

“i told ya you could stay, didnt i?”

his smile is closed lipped and cute and genuine

before you can say anything hes up and ushering the last few people out of the library, telling them good night and good luck with their classes tomorrow

youre kind of caught in a brain dead daze after finally being pulled from your studying to watching this cute librarian named jaehyun bustle around and lock doors and turn off lights

and when he finally gets back to you he clicks on the lamp on the table youre working at and sets a cup of coffee in front of you

he mustve made it as you were falling asleep with your eyes open

you thank him copiously before asking

“i thought you let everyone stay after hours when you closed”

he looks up over the rim of his mug with a surprised look in his eyes

he shakes his head as swallows the clearly too hot coffee

“not at all. most of the time i kick them out and study by myself.”

he blushes like its a confession and it makes you feel,,,, something

but you dont want to press

so you just reach out and offer your other headphone to him because if you dont know what to say then you can both enjoy some good study music

so he pulls out his homework for the night and the two of you sit there and study

you sip off your coffee occasionally and both of you nod your heads to the music playing in your ears

he hums along to the ones he knows and a thought skips across your mind

you could get used to this

(theres a 100000% chance there will be a part two to this)

#nct #nct imagines #nct x reader #jaehyun #nct jaehyun #jaehyun x reader #doyoung #nct doyoung #nct u #nct127 #librarian au #i love jaehyun #hes my closet bias #library.txt

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armcniangod · 7 years ago

Text

//i planned on being around today on both seth and kenny. putting out replies i owe and what not. but i spent 4 hours waiting for a phone call from work about this promotion that i was up for. long story short, i didnt get it. i was bothered by it, obviously. but finding out who got it instead is what bothers me the most.

let’s just say you are someone who has been working hard. granted you have not been there that long, but you do what you got to do and put out results that people like to see. then look at someone who, from what you have seen while there, does sweet fuck all but suck up to the right people and talk all shift. then take yourself and that person, and go through your interview process with your boss. get told you were not chosen because of minor lack of experience, and because ‘you weren’t prepared’. do you know why this was the excuse given to you? because the ass kisser did exactly that. he kissed ass and made it look like he wasn’t doing anything. but what he was really doing was leeching information to get himself the position he doesn’t deserve.

im starting to disbelieve in the old saying that hard work pays off. looks to me like to make a decent living just so you can move out and start your own life, you need to swallow a few dicks and pucker up to the right people.

this isnt anyones business but i needed to vent i guess. i cant speak about this to my family because the only bullshit they come up with is ‘there is always next time.’ but maybe i cant wait around til next time because my current position for this job is making me depressed. no one ‘likes’ their job. but it should never make you feel depressed.

i already know certain people, not here necessarily, but in general will look at this and think im just over reacting and whining about nothing. that is should suck it up and just keep working. but you wouldn’t be saying that if you had my job and had this happen. you really fucking wouldn’t.

#outofcurbstomps

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reesebird · 5 years ago

Photo

New Post has been published on https://reesebird.com/2019/07/21/help-the-houswife/

Help the Houswife!

This may be a bit of reading so i will apologize in advance.

I need help from someone, anyone! At this point anything will help.

Background: i am 26 years old with a 6 year old daughter and a husband. (10+ years high school sweethearts) I live in a home that my mother & father own. I live here rent free, with a catch.. My 24 yer old brother and his 6 year old son must live here rent free as well. It is up to the both of us to keep up on the property and make home repairs since we live rent free. It has been this way for 3 years now. In these 3 years my brother, lets call him Taylor.. Has not had a job at all. His son does not have a mother. She dropped him off at 3 months old and has never looked back.. He does not get child support. Nor does he get foodstamps or medical insurance because he will not go for child support, he blantly refuses. Therefore he brings nothing into the household. My husband has honestly the shittest job there is. Hes a foreman for a fence company but sees between 2-300 a week. His company says hes only been a foreman for 4 months so hes still in “training” whatever that means. It is next to impossible to live off of but we make it work! Taylor doesnt help with daily upkeep on the house. He stays at the nieghbors house 80% of the time. He comes over with his son gets food, drinks whatever they need leaves a huge mess then leaves. He doesnt bathe his son, he once went 2 weeks before i realized little dude hadnt had a bath! Little dude doesnt have to pick up toys. Little dude can dump out 10,000 legos and when i aak who is going to pick them up Taylor answers with “well if YOU want them picked up, YOU will do it.” I do all the chores here, i dont ask my husband to do much (husband isnt completely innocent we’ll get to him in a moment) i have gotten Taylor to do dishes 2x in 3 years. Taylor goes around the neighborhood and picks up other peoples trash like furniture, tables, broken tools, busted lawn mowers anything you can think of is piled high in the front yard. My neighborhood calls my yard the junk yard and its so embarrassing! If i ask my parents for help they tell me “you guys are adults, we let you live here rent free so work your problems out with yourselves” and you know i totally agree with that! But why wont Taylor grow up, get with the program and raise his child?! Today was the last straw. The event that happened roday made me make this post.. We live in a 2 story house, Taylor & little dude have the upstair all to themselves. There is a foyer entryway before you get to the stairs that is blocked off by a closed door. Today i seen something white wigglying under the door (no carpet) i opened the door and the floor was COVERED in dog poop and maggots!! I had a mini panic attack then RAN to go get the bleach. I bleached everything!! Then when he came back for a drink run from the neighbors, i sreamed at him WTF?! We have kids that live here! If you want to live like that fine but YOU WILL NOT DO THIS TO YOUR CHILD! He looked at me, blinked and walked out of the door headed for the neighbors house. My parents also are not innocent, on one hand they tell us to work it out.. On the other hand they will call me on payday and ask “can you give Taylor $20” umm whyy?? “So he can get a little weed, hes a single father he needs to blow off some steam” if i dont give him the cash i have to listen for days about how my parents have helped me out so much by not charging me rent and i should help them out by helping Taylor. Doesnt make sense to me. or my parents make excuses for him “hes a man he shouldnt have to clean as much as you” or “they dont make that much of a mess how hard is it to just do it for them?” I have spent 2 years begging my husband to move us out, he cant afford it. He suggested i get a job. So i did. For 3 weeks. Taylor was home watching both kids while i worked. I would come home after 8/9 hour shift and clean my ass off. Dishes, sweep, mop, collect all trash from throughout the day, laundry.. Too the point my husband is screaming at me to sit down and stop, but i cant i am the person that if i spill a drink on the floor i will get a towel to clean it, my husband and brother do not.. It will sit there untill i find it. I get shit from my husband about all this as well. Hes pissed taylor is treating me like a slave and taking it out on me, saying im the reason all this is happening, because i wont stand up for myself.. But my father has looked him in the eyes and said “Taylor can do whatever he wants and needs to do in his fathers house if yall dont like it find somewhere to pay rent” my father knows 100% if we leave he has to come here clean the house pay his bills buyhis food and cook it for him, my father said he will do anything for his son and granson.. This situation has sent me to the mental hospital. I got prescribed buspars so whenever im mad and have to spend 4 hours deep cleaning the house everyone tells me to go take my meds.. Uhh YALL ARE THE REASON IM ON THEM! My husband has taken up drinking beer to the point of passing out every single night because of this. I hate it. When i was 8 years old i made a promise to my father. He made me promise that i would NEVER marry an alcoholic. When we got together almost 11 years ago he was completely against any alcohol. Now he says blame your brother for this beer i cant handle all this. I beg him to stop drinking but he screams at me that he is a grown man with a job and can do what he wants and says he doesnt care about a promise i made with a man who is letting another man treat me like shit. But the promise honestly does mean so much too me. I hate the beer. I hate the smell. I hate the smell of his breath (that he constantly swears im crazy cause “my breath dont smell like beer” as hes taking a sip of beer) i hate having to pick up ALL the beer cans EVERY morning. I have asked my husband for 8 months if i could get my nails done.. We cant afford it but we can afford beer every day!

Really what can i do? How do i handle this? How do i get my brother and husband to all work together as adults to get things done? Right now i am a slave and i want things to change, im desperate S.O.S

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heroofthelostones-blog · 7 years ago

Text

Chapter 4: Getting Personal

+Yuu+

Kota lead the way to the bar and picked a place for all of us to sit. Kota and I sat down beside each other with Dakota on the other side of Kota. Sariel looked a bit displeased by it all before sitting down between Dakota and I. A nice lady came up to us and brought us all a water to drink and a menu.

“Can i get you something to eat?” she asked and looked between us all.

“Your best fish meal for me please.” I smiled up at her and she wrote something down.

“Tomato and herb soup please.” Sariel spoke sweetly to her and handed back the menu she gave him. She nodded and wrote his order down.

“Just a salad please.” Dakota said and handed her the menu back as well.

“Roast plate for me.” Kota grinned and handed back the final menu. The woman smiled and left soon after. “Yuu, would you happen to have anything to make a protective barrier?” he turned to me and put an elbow on the table and his cheek in his hand.

“Hmm.” I hummed softly and put my hand up to my mouth, “i think so, i’’ll have to check when we get back to the room.”

“Thanks, id do it myself if body snatcher didnt snatch my body and split my magic.” He groaned a bit.

“How many times do i have to say it isnt my fault?” Dakota put her head down on the table. Sariel patted her back a bit to comfort her.

“Until i get my body back thats when.” Kota stuck his tongue at her and she groaned more.

“What magic are you using to put up this barrier?” Sariel asked and leaned back into his chair a bit and crossed his arms.

“No magic.” I purred, “I dont possess much magic in me, i specialize in alchemy but mainly poisons.”

“And that will help you make a barrier?” Sariel raised his brow and lowered his head a bit.

“Do you know protective glyphs and wards over there mr.Angel man.” I asked and leaned on the table with my hands under my chin.

Sariel paused and glared at me. “No. i dont.” he said low and angry.

“And Kota is splitting his magic with dakota, so my alchemy is best we got at the moment.” Kota and Dakota snickered a bit beside me as Sariel slumped in his chair.

“How come you dont have a lot of magic, yuu?” Dakota asked and turned to face me.

I shrugged a bit and smiled, “Dont really know, i just cant use my magic as freely as say Kota can. Mine is a bit more...limited in a since. Its hard to explain.”

“His magic is for hidden badass moments or to turn into a cat of some form.” Kota put a hand on my back and patted me.

“I guess that explains it a bit more.” I laughed and shoved his hand off my back.

Our food arrived and we all stopped talking so we could it. Kota, Sariel and i all took our time and were amazed at how fast Dakota ate a salad. It was a pretty basic normal salad but she ate it was faster than the rest of us could even eat our food, and Kota and i were use to eating while on the move. Sariel couldnt take that long to eat soup unless he was just stupid slow at it.

“Uh how are we going to pay?” Dakota leaned in and whispered low.

Laughing a bit, “dont worry, i got paid on my job today so its all good.” I patted her shoulder. I got up and pulled the money pouch i had tied around my waist off and walked over to a counter with a man standing behind it and paid for everyone’s meal.

Kota and the other two waited for me at the stairs before proceeding up them. Kota walked into our room first and moved all of our belongs around so they were placed neatly in a corner.

I grabbed my bag that had a bunch of my vials and potions in them and sat on the floor. Pulling various things out of it. Kota sat on the bed closest to me and watched while Sariel sat on the other bed. Dakota sat in front of me and watched as well.

“Hm, im finding all sorts of things that i forgot i had or misplaced, but cant find what Im looking for.” I was pulling various sized bombs, vials, pouches, and other assorted things out. I looked up to see Dakota reaching for something, “I’d be careful with that Dakota, thats a very deadly powder.” I smiled up at her and she pulled her hand away.

“I wouldn’t touch Yuu’s things, he’s smacked my hand a lot for it.” Kota chuckled from above us.

Dakota looked up at him, “why?”

“Because it can either kill you or cause you a lot of pain and maybe some missing limbs.” He said calmly.

“Is he legally able to carry that kind of stuff?” Sariel asked with a slightly urked and curious tone.

My ears twitched and i looked up at Kota then at Sariel. “Hmmmm, probably not but im careful with my things.” I turned and looked back through my bag. “AHA Found it!” i held up a flask.I got up and grabbed the do not disturb sign on the inside of the door and put it on the outside of our doorknob before closing the door. “Now, you all have to promise me, you wont leave this room.”

“I promise.” Kota smiled.

“Why?” Sariel asked and Dakota looked just as confused as he did.

“Because this is a powder, that it isnt harmful to smell but it will activate at the contact or motion of it being swept away to cause a break in the line im going to make under the door and windows. So if you dont break it, we’re fine, thus means you cant leave.”

“Im confused.” Dakota groaned a bit and got up and sat beside Kota.

“Its alright, i dont need you to understand it, just promise you do as i ask you.” I smiled at her and turned around to leave a bit of a trail by the door that if the door opens it will move the powder. “If this gets activated, the building will fill with a poisonous gas and we’ll either die or be evacuated.”

“That isn’t safe at all!” Sariel complained and watched as i moved to the windows.

“Then dont leave!” I turned and purred loudly with a smile. “I’ll be able to get it up in the morning just fine, but if you wake up before, you cant leave this room without waking me.” I turned back around and left a trail along the windows.closing the cap i put the flask on a table by our belongings. “We should be fine, and if someone comes in, Kota or i will usually wake up and be aware of it.”

“You said usually. You are also implying that is not always the case. What happens if no one wakes up?” Sariel groaned and put his hand over his eyes.

Jumping on the bed with Kota sitting on it, “then we’re dead and thats the end of our adventure.”

“You are so sadistic yet such a cute looking person.” Kota laughed, “and i love it honestly.”

“Thank you!” I purred happily. “It is getting late too, we should go to bed and get some sleep. So….who’s sleeping with who?”

“I nominate myself and Yuu to sleep with body snatcher in our animal forms.” Kota smirked at me and then looked at Sariel.

“I agree!” I nodded and also turned to look at Sariel.

He had a very bored yet displeased look on his face. “Fine, i can't argue with this too much given what we have. Plus I’m not a very…..fun to person to sleep beside.”

“Aw why? Do you kick?” Kota started chuckling to himself.

“No, fleabag.” He groaned, “My wings.”

“Oh, Yeah do you know magic to get rid of them?” Dakota asked as she crawled up onto the bed and between Kota and I. “I can only imagine that you can.”

“I can,” he paused and grumbled, “I just dont like to. It’s unsettling to me, and i feel….vulnerable.” his wings twitched at the mention of it all and they dropped a bit behind him.

“It’s all okay, we’ll understand.” Dakota smiled at him, “i can see how you dont wanna be in pain sleeping with someone either.” she yawned.

“We should sleep so our magic can restore itself.” Kota poofed into his fox form and soon after Dakota’s body changed into Kota’s body. “We’ll need you rested for tomorrow.”

“Sounds good.” Dakota yawned again, louder and longer this time.

Using my small amount of my own magic, i poofed into my little cat sized form next to Kota. Extending my front legs forward and my lower half sticking up in the air, “i haven’t been in this form for a while.” my voice was now kind of squeaky like Kota’s was. I shook my body, ruffling up my fur and sitting up straight.

“Oh my god!!” Dakota squealed a bit given that her voice was now Kota’s voice. She put her hands on my sides and lifted me up off the bed and into her arms, nuzzling my cheek with her’s. “You’re so cute!”

Purring loudly, i nuzzled my face against her’s more. “Thank you!” i licked her cheek slightly and she started scratching my chest. Dropping my head back, i purred loudly.

“You’re too into that, Yuu.” Kota chuckled lightly with his squeaky voice.

“I like how she pets me!” I perked up and turned to kota, “she actually knows how to love a cat gently! Those other people always pet me too hard.” I fidgeted and jumped out her arms and onto the bed. “You never get to be the distraction.”

“Because you do it so well.” Kota wiggled his body a bit, the pounced on top of me, “you’re just so cute! And you’re purple and white, you’re easily noticeable while i’m all black and can be sneaky.”

I stuck my paws up and put them on his fluffy chest, trying to push him off of me. “I think women would love to pet you too. Plus i can get away with so much more because i am cute and people love cute cats.”

“The fact that you’re both thieves does not make up for how cute either of you can be.” Sariel walked across the room turning off all the lights. Once the lights were off, the sound of the other bed squeaking under his weight was the only noise before he spoke, “im going to bed. Good night.”

“Good night, Sariel.” Dakota spoke softly and crawled under the blankets.

“Night!” Kota and i squeaked and got on either side of Dakota’s body and curled up next to her on top of the sheets.

———————————-

-Sariel-

“Wake up!” I heard the little squeaky voice of the black fox, while there were little paws bounced on my shoulder. “Oh. he’s awake.” Kota snickered and then jumped off of me and his little body hit the ground and he trotted to the other bed. “Wake up body snatcher!”

Sitting up on the bed I turned to look over at the little fox as he bounced and pressed his little feet into Dakota. Similar to how foxes would jump and stick their noses into a hole looking for food. Turning my head i looked to see Yuu, in his human form, cleaning up the powder he laid down last night.

“Good morning, Sariel.” he said sweetly and put the cap on his flask and moved to their bags.

“Good morning.” I groaned and got off the bed, stretching my arms over my head then my wings.

“She’s up!” Kota bounced off Dakota and onto the floor, “cmon, time to be a lady!”

Dakota threw the blankets off her body and the black hair that was Kota’s was all sorts of crazy and wild. “Mm, morning to you too.” she mumbled and stretched.

Kota and Dakota took the quick moment to change forms. While Yuu and I gathered our belongings. We made a bag for Dakota so she had any womanly needed things with her, with some small easy first aid things as well as some food and water in case we got separated.. We headed to the bar for a quick breakfast and checked out when we were done eating.

“We need to get some other supplies.” Yuu slung his bag over his back, “i need ingredients that we’re running low on.” he pulled out a small scrap of paper from his pocket, “few things we can either get out in nature and hunt for them, or just take a quick trip to a herb shop.”

“Anything expensive?” Kota asked and threw his arm over Yuu’s shoulder.

“No nothing too expensive.” he was still looking at the little piece of paper and they talked to themselves as we walked.

Looking down at Dakota, I held my hand out to her, “i’ll carry your bag for you if you like.”

“Oh um, thank you, but it’s not that heavy so I can carry it.” she looked up at me real quickly before looking ahead at where we were walking.

“Of course, if you ever need help dont be afraid to ask.” I smiled lightly down at her.

“Can you carry a backpack given you have….wings?” she looked behind her at my wings as they stayed tucked nicely behind me.

“I dont have to carry it on my back to be able to carry something for you.” i chuckled a bit, “we are taught at young ages to carry things in different ways because we do have wings. As children its easier to carry bags on our back, but as we grow it becomes harder.”

“Love birds! This way! We’re stopping in here.” Yuu shouted from the door of a small little shack, with Kota beside them and they both walked in.

Dakota blushed red then jogged up to the building and went in after them. I stayed by the doorway on the inside because everything looked so close together, and i didn’t want to knock anything over because of my wings. Yuu was walking around the shop and grabbing everything he needed.Kota and Dakota would play around or look at other things while Yuu shopped. He paid for the things and talked to the shop owner.

“Are you young ones going into the woods?” an elderly woman came out from the back.

“Ah, yes, actually we are why?” Yuu put the things he had purchased neatly in his bag.

“There is an herb that grows out there, would you four be willing to grab some for me if i were to reward you?” she sat down on a stool. “Me and my husband are too old for this and our children are grown and gone.”

“Um.” Yuu looked back and Kota and he shrugged, “may i ask what the reward is?”

“We don’t have much, but if you bring some back to us. I’ll give you something that is much rarer then what i am asking for.” she smiled, “its a plant thats hard to find and only blooms after several years.” she extended a hand to Yuu and he took her hand, “you seem like a smart young man who knows how to use plants for various things, I’ll give it to you for free, given no one else wants it.”

Yuu looked back at Kota with his ears perked up, and chuckled and shook his head, “Sure, we’ll go find it for you”

“Thank you all.” she smiled, “take your time and be careful, creatures lurk in those woods.”

“We will ma’am, thank you.” Yuu shook her hand and received a paper from the woman. We were allowed to leave most of our belongings with the couple and brough only what we needed and a bag to carry the plant in.Once we were in the woods, Yuu pulled out the paper once more, “she says what we’re looking for will look like this.” He held out the paper to us too look at, “She said it’s fairly scattered around and we should keep our eyes open.”

“Do you know what we’re looking for?” Dakota made her way around the paper and got between Yuu’s arms too look at it.

“Its a plant used for health. It can be made into a tea and helps clean out the body. It can be used as an ointment too for wounds, and various other things to improve your body.”

“Should we grab some for ourselves?” Kota asked as he stood a bit away from everyone.

“It wouldn’t hurt but lets get as much as we can for them, just so they dont have to come out her themselves later.” Yuu rolled up the paper and stuck it in his back pouch.

“Im fine with that, but lets all stay close together.” I mentioned and looked down at Dakota, “I don’t believe she knows how to fight incase something does come at us.”

“Are you assuming just because i’m a girl means that I don’t know how to fight?” she puffed her cheeks and put her hands on her hips.

“Oh not at all.” i smirked at her, “Ive had many female trainers who can beat the male trainers, by no means am i assuming its because you’re a woman.”

“Then what is it?” She huffed loudly.

“Its the fact that you physically dont look like you can fight…..Well.” i crossed my arms and stared down at her.

“I’ll fight you.” she got really close to me and stood up on her toes to get as close to eye level as she could with me.

Still looking down at her just a bit, “Bring it, i’ll teach you how to fight.” I smirked. Kota and Yuu started snickering to themselves, and covered their mouths when i looked over at them. Dakota had her little cheeks all puffed out and her small hands in fists by her side as she bounced on her toes a bit. “You’re face is turning blue, i advise you breathe.” I pushed her cheeks in softly and made her blow out air.

“I’ll show you I know how to hold my own in a fight Sari.” she had much determination in her voice and held her body stiff.

“Whatever you say, my lady.” chuckling to myself, i turned and walked away from her, “Also,” I held a hand up, “Dont call me Sari.”

“I’ll call you Sari if I want to mister.” she mumbled and jogged up behind me.

We stayed as a group through our walk in the woods, but Dakota would be just a bit behind us sulking a bit or struggling with getting over large roots or logs. She’d often reject my assistence to help her get over a log or around something. Kota and Yuu were mainly the ones finding the plant the woman asked for, They seemed to grow in larger clusters under things such and in shaded areas. Most of the time it was Dakota getting on her hands and knees, fitting into the small spaces that the three of us couldnt. Yuu would usually be beside her to help on his knees. Dakota would often have her bottom up in the air and Kota would start snickering and trying to get my attention to look. I kept my back to both them and waited for them to get up and put the plant in the bag that i was given to carry. Kota and Yuu would go and get the herb when it wasnt in a small space, and Dakota would be left to get it if it were in a tight spot.

“Do you hear something?” Kota stopped and his ears twitched side to side.

“Hmmm.” Yuu hummed and tried to listen in as well, “no not really, why?”

“I hear rustling but i dont know where is coming from?” He mumbled and looked up and around.

“Do you think its someone following us or just an animal?” I asked and dropped the bag by my feet.

“I dont know….” he trailed off and he turned around and his ears went back and his eyes wide, “D-Dakota!” he mumbled, “Dont move.” Yuu and I both looked backwards and saw Dakota standing on a large root that stuck out from the ground.

“What?” she looked up at all of us. A large species of bird, swooped down from the tree above her and snatcherd her up with its legs. She started screaming when she realized she was snatched and the bird took her up above the trees.

“aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!” Kota and Yuu both started screaming, “S-Sariel GO GET HER!!” Kota looked at me with his ears back and pointing up where the bird had taken her.

“Fu-Fine!” I grumbled and dropped everything off me that i didnt need and took off from that spot. Going through the foliage, i got above the treetops and looked around quickly to find the bird, The bird looked to be heading deeper into the forest. Taking off towards the bird, i pulled my staff from the pouch on my thigh and extended it out to its full length. Diving down enough to be beside Dakota. “Dakota, I need you to trust me okay?”

“What?! Why?!” She yelled and still freaked out.

“Just trust me! Please! I’ll catch you.” I fell back and went up to be above the bird’s back and atop its wings.

“WHAT?! CATCH ME?!” She screamed from below.

Landing on the bird’s back. It swayed it’s weight to try and throw me off, making me lose my balance and land on my knees, and causing Dakota to scream more and louder.Standing back up, i took my staff and spun it above my head. Bringing it down on the softest spots of the bird’s wings, or where it would hurt the most to be struck there. The bird let out a loud curling shriek and tilted its body downward from the side I had hit, and let go of dakota. Sliding down its downward wing on its soft feathers, i grabbed onto Dakota’s hand.

“Told you I would catch you.” I chuckled a bit and held her hand above her head.

“Uh Look out!” She pointed upwards.

Turning around to look above me, the bird had its claws coming at my own wings. Pulling Dakota up into my body and holding her close, i just barely got turned around enough before my wing was struck by the talons of the bird. There was enough of a graze to get some contact with my right wing that hurt enough that flying would be difficult. The bird flew beside me with enough force to cause me to bring in my wings so they were going against the air flow. Keeping Dakota close to my body i wrapped my wings around her to shield her from the talons of the bird. It hit me with its wing hard enough to send us spiraling down through the trees. My back hitting several tree branches and breaking them with our weight combined.

We landed in a small ditch that caused my wings to be very close to the edges and i landed on my shoulders. My back just barely in a muddy puddle and my legs against the wall like my wings were. Keeping my arms around Dakota, i held her close to my body. Waiting to see if the bird, or anything dangerous, was coming to the ditch we fell in. It was silent for a few moments, so i let go of Dakota.

“Are you okay?” I asked and dropped my arms beside my body.

“Yes.” she mumbled and sat up pressing her small hands to my chest and sitting up against my legs. She looked up and around her. “Oh no nononono.” She started mumbling, and tried standing up. Her feet just barely stood on my wings as the rest of her feet were in the water. “We have to get out.” she tried to climb out and just ended up slipping and landing on top of me.

“Dakota.” I groaned as she kept slipping and stepping on me.

Looking up at her she looked to be freaked out, tears on the edge of pouring out. She was mumbling to herself, saying how she has to get out and she didn’t like being in such a tight spot.

“Dakota.” I put a hand on her knee as she stood up, she didnt hear me and tried to find another way out. “Dakota.” I spoke a bit louder and she didnt hear me. “Dakota!” I reached up and grabbed her by the back of her thighs and pulled her down onto me again. Her knees pressed to my wings and her hands in the water beside my head, she looked down at me with wide eyes, tears at each corner. “You can’t get out alone, and i cant help you given you are on top of me and this ditch is small.” I groaned in pain as her knees pressed into my wings a bit more. “So if you would please calm down and just sit still.”

Her body trembled and little tears rolled down her cheeks, “I’m sorry Sari, I didn’t mean to. H-How do you want me to sit so I’m not hurting you?”

Taking my hand off her legs, i ran my thumb on her cheeks and wiped the tears away, “just sit.” I spoke softly and put my hands on her hips. She sat with her back against my legs and her legs were pressed softly into my leg this time with her weight being on my lap. She ran her hands on her eyes. “Try to breath for me please.”

“O-okay.” she hiccuped and took deep breaths, “im sorry.”

“Dont be sorry.” I put my hand on her thigh. “Just look at me and focus on breathing.” she sniffled and nodded. Her body still trembled, lighter this time and she clutched my shirt with her free hand. “Is there anything i can do?”

“I-i dont know.” her voice was shaky, and she looked up slightly.

Taking a hand off her leg, i reached up and put a hand on her neck, pulling her face down to look at me. “Look at me, Dakota.” I smiled softly at her, “Only look at me, okay.”

She sniffed a bit and took in a deep breath, “Can i hug you?” she spoke softly.

“Yes, you can.” I brushed her cheek with my thumb again.

She leaned down, her face against my chest and her arms around me as much as she could given my back was in a puddle. Putting my arms around her, i had one one her back and the other in her hair, stroking her hair softly. “I’m sorry for calling you Sari. I didn’t mean to make you mad or upset you if I did.”

“You didn’t make me mad.” I spoke softly and rubbed her back. “I just dont hear anyone ever call me things like that.” I shifted my shoulders around, “if you enjoy calling me that, or it makes things easier. Please by all means call me what you want.”

“I’ll only call you Sari if we’re alone. You don’t need to have the other two snickering.” she chuckled a bit against my chest.

“I dont mind what they do or think. If it makes you feel better i dont mind.” i rubbed off some mud of her legs. “Things like that dont bother me.” i brought my hand back up to rub her back.

She picked her head up a bit and smiled,“Then you have to let me repay you for saving me. I just feel so pathetic. I can’t hold my own for very long in a fight against you and then I go and get snatched by some bird.” she started to cry a bit again and her voice was shaky as she took her hand and cleaned some mud off of my face.

Tucking her hair behind her ear and away from her face. “You dont have to repay me.” i plucked some leaves out of her hair and clothing, “You arent pathetic either. You handled that better than i would have thought.” I smiled up at her, “I can teach you how to fight so you can protect yourself later.”

“But, I don’t want to be a bother and we have that mission that your queen gave us.” she started speaking faster this time.

“Dakota.” I chuckled to myself, “my queen doesnt expect us to get this done with quickly. She has her reasons for this mission.” I reached a hand up and touched her cheek. “So relax, please.”

“BODY SNATCHER!!!”

“SARIEL!!”

Yuu and Kota’s voice yelled over head at a distance and the sound of ruffling bushes was faint behind the yelling.

She sat up and put her weight back on my lap,“We’re over here!!” she yelled up cupping her mouth.

Kota and Yuu popped their heads over the ledge of the ditch, and Kota started snickering. “Oh my god, are you two okay?” Yuu asked.

“Could be better.” Dakota laughed nervously.

“Lets help you get out!” Yuu smacked Kota and they both stood up. Dakota stood up and was careful to not step on my wings. Extending her hands up Kota was leaned in the ditch while yuu helped pull them both over and out. “Do you need help, Sairel?” Yuu asked and came back to the ledge.

“No i should be fine.” I looked around at my body and the position i was in, “Possibly.” putting my hands under my body as best i could, i slid up so my back and wings were now pressed to the muddy wall of the ditch and my feet were in the puddle. Keeping my wings close to my body, i grabbed onto a piece of dry earth that stuck out a bit. Dakota had her hand extended downward to me with a smile on her face. Taking her hand in mine, i grabbed her upper arm as well and got my feet on the ledge. Kota and Yuu helped pull Dakota back or keep her stable as i pushed off the wall and climbed up and out. I got my torso out of the ditch and on the ledge. Yuu and Kota grabbed me by my arms and helped pull my body the rest of the way out.

“You okay?” Dakota asked as she cleaned her hands of mud.

“Yes.” I groaned and stretched my arms over my head, popping my shoulders. Bringing my arms down in front of me and caving inwards i popped my spin close to my neck, rolling my neck side to side and cracking it. Pushing my hands against my lower back, i leaned backwards and popped my spine all the way down. Turning side to side and extending my wings, i cracked them as well and my hips.

“Oh my god, Sariel!” Dakota sounded so upset, “I am so sorry!D o you want a massage? I know how to give good massages.””

“I’m fine, Dakota.” I looked back behind me and looking at my right wing and trailing down to about the tip of my wing where there is still flesh. There was a bit of blood under all the mud that was caked on my wings.

“Did that bird get you? Can you still fly?” She sounded nervous, coming up to touch my wing just around the cut.

“I’ll be fine once it heals, it might sting a bit if i fly too much.” i mumbled to myself. Then look at her, “and no thank you, i dont need a massage.”

“We can maybe as the nice old lady to make you an ointment with the plant we found her.” Yuu held up the bag. “Lets go back and get you patched up.”

We took the trip back to the small shack that the elderly couple owned. The woman made a quick ointment and applied it to my wing and wrapped it up nicely for me.She gave Yuu the reward she promised and gave him a small journal on various remedies for how thoughtful we were on giving her so much of what she asked for. We grabbed our belongings,said our farewells to the couple and headed out of the town. We walked several miles before it got too dark and we picked a place to stay. We set up by a waterfall in a cave that was large enough for us to move around comfortably and we didnt sleep too close to each other. Kota and Yuu took the trip back in their animal forms to town to get more food for dinner and other things.

“Mind if I go wash up in the waterfall?” Dakota mumbled and blushed a bit.

Looking down at her, i eyed her up and down at how badly she was covered in mud. “By all means, please go take your time. I’ll wait here until you’re done.”

“Thanks. Ill be out soon so you can clean up.” she dug through some of our belongings looking for a rag.

Taking the sash off my waist i held it out to her. “Use that as a towel.”

“But thats your sash.” she looked at it then up to me again. “I dont wanna get it dirty.”

“Please it’s already messy, you’ll be fine to use it to clean off your body. I dont mind, the sash holds no value.” I put the sash in her arms and pushed her gently off to the waterfall. “Yell if you need help.”

“I won’t be long, I promise.” She smiled and jogged to where the waterfall would be.

I stood waiting around our belongings for Kota and Yuu to come back. They arrived some time after Dakota had left with several things in their arms that looked like extra food and clothing. “Where’s dakota?” Yuu asked.

“She’s washing off in the waterfall just a bit away from here.” I watched them set the things down.

Kota perked up and his ears were up straight. “We should all go clean up, right?” he stood up straight with his ears and facial expression laxed now. “You bond over bathing right?” he turned to look at Yuu with a smirk. Yuu just looked between Kota and I with his ears back and eyes wide.

“If you leave my sight and head for that waterfall, i will knock you out so you wake up next morning.” I said flatly, “she’s a woman, she deserves her privacy.”

Kota smirked widely, “Well fine then, You take her new clothes to her.” he grabbed a extra set of clothing and shoved them into my chest.

I looked at his hands then back at him as he had that smirk on his face. Sighing heavily, “fine.” i grabbed the clothes and took them off my chest, not looking at what the clothing could possibly look like.

“Ah, i can do it if-” Yuu chuckled a bit and kota turned to him.

“You’re going to help me cook yuu!” he threw his arms up, “actually, you’ll cook and I’ll help because you’re better at it then i am.” he sounded like he had a smile on his face.

I turned and left those two to do their own thing and walked in the direction that Dakota did. When the sound of the waterfall came louder and closer, i covered my eyes with my wings and shouted, “Dakota?”

She squeaked lightly, “y-yes?” I heard the splash as if she “ Is something wrong Sariel?”

“Ah no, its just Kota and Yuu bought you extra clothing and i….brought it to you.” I started mumbling, “Is there somewhere you want me to put it?”

“Ah…” she paused, “yeah theres a rock by the edge of the water, can you put it there with your sash?”

“Of course.” I shifted my wings around to keep her out of sight but see the rock she mentioned. It did have my sash draped on it and i walked over to it and neatly put her extra clothes there. “Please do take as much time as you need, im sorry to bother you.”

“N-no no, you’re not bothering me. Thank you for bringing me an extra set of clothes. I’m almost done.” she sounded a bit embarrassed.

“Alright, do you wish for me to stay here with you and walk you back to the camp, or leave you be?” I asked and turned my back to her, and kept my wings around my body.

“If you want to stay, your welcome to. It’s up to you if you would rather go and be with Kota and Yuu.” she sounded less nervous and sounded like she emerged slightly out of the water.

“Then i will head back to the camp and help with dinner. I’ll see you soon.” I took the short walk to the camp and saw Kota and Yuu together. Yuu was sitting by the small pot that was over the fire they made and Kota was squatted down next to him and whispering things too him, Yuu looked like he was laughing. Walking up to them i put a hand on my hip, “Am i disturbing something?” I had a smirk on my face.

“No no, nothing at all. We were just taking bets to see if you would stay with the only women in our group who was kidnapped today to make sure she stayed safe. But it looks like you trust her enough to let her be alone. So, it looks like I won the bet Yuu.” He had a smirk on his face and he turned to Yuu.

“Fiiiine.” Yuu groaned and chuckled to himself.

“Can i know what you two betted?” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“No, thats between us.” Kota smiled wickedly then his ears perked and he looked around, “welcome back, body snatcher!”

I turned around to see Dakota walking up to us with her dirty clothes and my sash in her hands. She wore a blue shirt with the sleeve off the shoulder and a white skirt that was just a bit too high for me to be comfortable with and similar blue thigh high stockings. The thread around the bottom of the skirt was gold color and she had some detail in gold detail around the top that was barely covered by the skirt if by not at all. I stared her up and down and had my mouth open a bit. Kota and Yuu were snickering behind me. “What?” she giggled a bit and asked.

“Nothing, Im going to wash up. Please no one come with me.” I walked past Dakota and turned my body so i didnt bump into her and quickly left the campsite, hearing the other two laughing as i left.

When i made it to the waterfall, i let out a loud sigh and shook my head. Shaking my hands lightly i took off my gold bands on my arm and leg, my accessories and my pouch that held my staff. and put them on the rock that Dakota had pointed out to me.taking off all my clothing, i dropped them on the rock off my accessories. I realized i didnt bring extra clothes, so i’ll just wear my dirty ones back and change when im at the campsite again.

Walking into the cold water, i looked down and saw the moon’s reflection in the water. Shaking my head once more, i walked through the water to the waterfall and stuck my head in under the steady stream. Pulling my head out, i pushed my lavender hair back away from my face. Running my hands on my face i washed off any mud on my face. Turning to the side i stuck my right wing under the water and run my hand on my feathers, cleaning any mud off of it, with my back to where the rock was I heard rustling and turning just a bit to see who it was, but not show my front.

“I um, you forgot your extra clothes, i’m setting them on the rock, kay bye.” It was Dakota and she quickly put the clothes down on the rock and turned around so fast and ran away.

I stared at the rock and then back up to where she would have been. I felt my face heat up a bit and i instantly stuck my head back under the water. I pulled my head back out and pushed my hair “Oh goodness, how much did she see?” i mumbled to myself. If she just saw my back, i wouldn’t have minded it as much, how long had she been standing there? I quickly cleaned up the rest of my body and my left wing.

Getting out, i looked at the clothes neatly placed on the rock. Picking up the shirt, it was a black leather sleeveless shirt with gold lace up over the black on each side of the shirt and on the front of the neck that showed skin, turning it around the back was a black cloth and most of the fabric was missing so my wings could fit through the edges being sewn together with the gold, a zipper on the back of the neck piece and the back of the shirt at the bottom so it could come on from my front and not over my head. Looking down i saw a fresh pair of undergarments on top of black pants that did not look like leather but was a sturdy material, Picking it up and letting it unfold.It was solid black with gold detail up the outer sides, gold and white bands wrapping around the middle of the thigh and half bands going around just the calf. A pair of black ankle boots sat on top the rock as well, with dark gold bottoms. Putting the new outfit on, i realized the pants were tight like my legging and clung close to my body. Putting on my accessories and pouch for my staff, i leaned over the edge of the water and looked at my reflection. My gold bands and necklaces didnt look odd against all the black either, only thing different is i can not wear the sash and metal wings i wrapped it around anymore. I walked back to the camp, seeing Dakota’s back to me as she sat by the fire with Kota and Yuu.

“Welcome back!” Yuu smiled up at me, “you look good in black.” he purred.

“Thank you, but i prefer my old colors over black more.” I walked around Dakota and sat down beside her as she sat on a fallen log. I felt Dakota put her hand on my head and play with my hair. Looking up at her through my bangs, “was there something in my hair?”

“No, i just wanted to touch your hair. You look nice with it all down.” She smiled sweetly at me.

“Ah.” I stared up at her, “thank you.”

“Now since you’re clean, let me give you a back massage!” she stood up and put her hands on her hips.

Her legs were the only things that i could see now that she was standing up. I stood up so i couldnt see under her skirt with one wrong move and got on the log she was just sitting on. “I’m fine dakota, i dont need a back rub.”

“Please.” she whined, “for saving me and what not, please let me get the knots out of your back.”

“Kota and I are going to go wash up, okay.” Yuu popped up and his tail swished side to side, “Cmon Kota.” he bent down and grabbed Kota by the wrist and some of their belongings, “you two have fun, eat as much as you want!”

“Wait why are we going to clean up?” Kota sounded so confused. Yuu looked at him with a wide smirk on his lips and his tail still flicking side to side. He didnt say anything and just proceed with dragging Kota off.

“Pleeeaaaase?” Dakota bent down to my level and had her palms pressed together in front of her face and trying her best to give off puppy dog eyes.

“Will it make you happy to do so?” I raised a brow and eyed her.

“Yes!” she smiled happily. “Most definitely!”

“Fine.” I groaned and stood up. I turned to face her, rolling my shoulders and sticking my my chest out a bit, i felt my wings disappear from my back and the look on dakota’s face made me chuckle, “I’d imagine you’d want me to hide my wings to do this?”

“Uuuh, yeah didn’t think you would do it though.” She mumbled and walked around me and put her soft hand on my back where the wings would have been coming out of.

“I wont have them gone long, they will be right back out as soon as you’re done.” I lowered my body down into the soft grass around the fire and crossed my arms under my head and placed my head on my forearms.

I felt Dakota sit on the back of my thighs and her hands pressed all around my back feeling for knots.her hands felt so small as they roamed my back, working out little knots that she could find. Soft and cold hands pressed into my shoulders and got a few pops out of them that way. “Can I ask what all these marks mean? On your arm, thigh and back.”

I tensed up and turned to look back her, she was sitting on my thighs. Sighing, “I wish you didn’t see my thigh.”

“Why?” she sat up and put her hands on the back of my shoulder getting another pop out.

“Because the ones on my arm and back, i dont mind as much, but my left leg being exposed makes me uncomfortable.” I mumbled, “but to answer your question, they are markings i’ve received as remembers in a way.”

“What does the one on your back mean?” she traced it lightly with her nail, sending a shiver up my spine.

“It means Embrace life.” I moved my shoulders around to make her stop tracing the mark on my spine. “Any others you must know?”

“Yes.” she said quickly and she sat back down on my thighs, “All of them.” she giggled.

Letting out a snort like noise, “really?” I picked myself up a bit too turn my body and look at her. She had a happy smile on her face and her eyes wide with excitement, sighing heavily, “fine from my shoulder down to the back of my hand. Persistence, Encouragement, Nurture yourself, Listen within, Willingness and Thrive in the current moment.”

“And your thigh?” she patted my left thigh. She heard me grunt loudly and pouted, “please.”

Sighing once more, “from my hip down. Patience, Vitality, Authenticity and Fortitude. They all function in ways to remind me how to live life.”

“Were they given to you for a reason?” She asked and rubbed on my back once again.

“I would be given them as i got older at certain ages or if i did something wrong. Say i was being Impatient, i would get my Patience mark.”

“Does everyone get those marks?” she asked and pressed her hands along my spine and then held her hands on the center of my back just under my shoulderblades.

“No, not everyone.” I paused, “only archangels and their children.”

“Oh, im sorry.” she mumbled then pressed her hands against my back more, “Okay, im going to press really hard here and i’ll count to three. On three i need you to breath out, alright?”

“Alright.” I took in a deep breath.

“One…..Two…” she paused and shifted her body, “three.” i breathed out and she pressed her hands into my spine and made a loud pop come from my back.

When i let my breath out, i instantly tensed up and felt my whole spine pop up and down from where she was. Losing concentration on keeping my wings gone they instantly popped back out and laid flat on the ground beside me. My whole body shivered and i dropped my headed into the dirt with my arms above my head, letting out a long groan at the sensation of being so loose now.

“Oh my god, Sariel are you okay?” she got off of me and came around to my front, avoiding my wings.

Grunting and groaning a bit, “yes, im fine, thank you. You just really hit a good spot.”

“Uh, your welcome?” she giggled a bit and kneeled down beside me, “are you okay though?”

“Yes, yes. I just have never felt so loose in so long.”I turned my head so i was now looking at her, “thank you that was greatly appreciated.”

“You two look you had fun.” Kota spoke and Yuu walked around him to put things they had back in their bags. “Did you eat?”

“Uh no not yet.” Dakota stood up and patted off the dirt on her knees. “I was giving Sariel a massage before we ate.”

“Then get up and eat!” Yuu poked at me and then got up to grab two small bowls and handed one to Dakota.

I got up and dusted any dirt and grass of my chest and stood up, receiving the other small bowl from Yuu. We ate together around the fire and mostly listened to what Dakota had to share about where she was from, and how different it was from this place. Yuu seemed most interested in this while Kota and I just seemed to have a hard time believing it. Once we finished up our meal we had everything packed so when we woke in the morning we were ready to grab our things and go. Dakota and kota both changed bodies before we settled down for bed. Dakota and i used sleeping bags while Kota and Yuu slept in Dakota’s bag with her. The night was quite, faint sounds of night creatures roaming around with the waterfall just aways from us pouring with water. It was nice, soothing even. It got all of us to fall asleep fairly quickly.

#Sariel #Dakota #Kota #Yuu #OcStory #OCs

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kittytishers · 8 years ago

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I DON'T REMEMBER YOUR AK TAG SO ALL THE ONES YOU DIDN'T DO YET PLS

gdi spacey

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? uhhhh id be pretty fuckin weirded out but considering he lives in georgia id just be like “FIRST OF ALL HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE?????” but like why would i be naked anyways thats the real question who sleeps without their pjs?? dont answer that please i beg

2. What’s going on between you and the last person living being you kissed? He’s pretty sick so we’re taking him to the vet today :(

3. If your significant other was into drugs, would you care? depends on the drugs. if they were into weed id want in on some obvi but anything else and id just be eeeehhhhh naaaaahhhh

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? how does 11 letters sound?

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? ive never been drunk in my life so take a wild guess

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? nope.

7. What does your last received text say? “Ooh”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person living being you kissed? more than i can count -w-

9. Where was your last kiss at? in my house because we both live there

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? This monday before she headed off to disneyland for her honeymoon!!

11. What do you drink in the morning? milk because its in my cereal

12. Where did you sleep last night? my fuckin bed -.-

13. Do you think relationships are hard? i think with the right person it shouldn’t be that bad.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? i wouldve done a different story for my creative writing project

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person living being you kissed, any problems? he’s sick so that would be bad :(

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? sunny

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? lol nah

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? PAJAMA SHORTS HAHAH

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? I hope so

20. Does anyone like you? Not that i know of

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? nope

22. Is the last person living being you kissed gay? I mean he’s neutered so technically he’s ace

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? the guy who sits behind me in english -.-

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? yeah. proll ynot gonna tho

25. In the past week have you cried? probably

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? my dog is an english springer spaniel so

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? out of the shower duh

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? HAHAHAHAH

29. Do you think you’re old? if i think im old i cant call my friends old so im just gonna say no

30. Do you like text messaging? yup

31. What type of day are you having? S T RE SS

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? no but i like how it looks on other people

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? cold because SWEATERS

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? Three! @pseudonymouslps @celestialbomber and @luciferhimshelf!!! they are all great btw follow them if you arent already

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? i want a relationship first and then ill figure out how i feel about flings

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? is anyone a simple person???

37. What song are you listening to? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Etb0xDIFXR4

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? yeah of course.39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? @2cutepandasian knows a lot i think. she is my first mother after all40. What made you start liking the person you like now? i mean i don’t have a person i like rn so41. When did you last receive a text message? not quite sure. all i know is the convo started like 6 am my time lmao42. What is wrong with you right now? everyhting???43. How well do you know the last female you texted? my mom continues to confuse me -.-44. Does anyone disgust you? my dog sometimes45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? DEPENDS ON THE PERSON I GUESS??? IDK I THINK ITD BE KINDA WEIRD46. Are you in a good mood right now? i guess so47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? mi madre48. What color shirt are you wearing? black likE MY SOUL49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? i dont want to hear anything my mom says tbh50. Anyone you’re giving up on? nah51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? lol i didn’t really fall for anyone

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? no i dont like giving up on people wtf???53. Do you like rain? im an ml fanatic of COURSE 54. Do you care if your significant other drinks? at this age? yeah. when im older than 18 i wont give a fuck55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? yeah thats always how it goes 56. Do you like to cuddle? HWO DOESNT??57. Are you shy? not shy just unwilling to engage in conversation with people i dont know or carea bout 58. Do you get along with girls? i get along with anyone i want to59. Have you dated the person you texted last? he’s 5 years older than me ew no like god hes like a brother to me but to date him no wtf??? 60. What do you carry with you at all times? a hair tie and my phone 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? hells yeah. the two outcomes are death or living life rich its a win-win 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? i mean i hope so 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? HAHAHAHAHHAHA 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? i dont like anyone right now but the person i liked a lil while back,,, yeah its be adoarble..;l.,,65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? i mean i saw my sister get married like if that isnt cute then idk what else is

66. How old are the last three people living beings you kissed? 4 and 10

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? dude nail salons are the best but i can make my own nails i dont really care68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? animal print in general is lowkey trashy imo69. Do you have any stickers on your car? dont have a car lolol70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? who??71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone? iphone fuck yeah 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? looooong time73. Do you like diet soda? never had any so i cant say74. What color are the walls in your room? white75. Are you 16 or older? nope but next year76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? no77. Do you have a job? no 78. What are your initials? LZ80. Are you from the south? I’m from SoCal but not The South™

81. What does your last status on facebook say? facebook thats cute82. Do you still talk to the first person living being you ever kissed? of course how else will i yell at him to stop fucking with my shit?83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? dad definitely84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? ive done gymnastics before yeah85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? Hidden Figures87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? im in a flip flop mood rn. ive been wearing heels all weekend -.-88. Is your phone touch screen? yeah90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? no where tf would i go91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? pool please i dont appreciate fish feces being on my body92. Have you ever made out in a car? HAH i wish93. …Had sex in a car? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA94. Are you single or in a relationship? take a wild guess based on previous questions its not that hard to figure out i promise95. What were you doing last night at midnight? screaming at myself to FINISH THE DAMN PAPER96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? 4th o july97. Do you like the camera on your phone? it serves its purpose98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? nope99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? nope100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? youre asking as if facebook is still relevent101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare? im 15 and ive never had sex in my life. no.102. Name your favorite Kesha song: WAKA WAKA103. Do you have any tan lines right now? no but its getting warmer so soonthaank god this bs is over. i wish i could say i hate you but i dont lie

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angel78 · 8 years ago

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another failed attempt at seeing a new therapist

its literally pointless to try anymore. its honestly not even about “getting better” anymore its about the fact that i just want to be figured the fuck out already. i want to get it all out i want to understand i want to know what happened to me and what the hell is wrong with me... but i guess i’ve always done that myself anywhere.

i have learned everything i have come to understand about myself in writing and art, mainly my own because that is where i am sorting myself out, but of course with others’ work as well.

i was never allowed to see a therapist growing up, my parents didnt believe in mental illness and thought i was just crazy or dramatic or whatever else ive said it here before plenty of times. once i left renfrew i tried one or two but one i couldnt afford and the other made me uncomfortable. i had one therapist in wvu that didn’t help or understand at all and just made me feel like i was psycho and straight up would ask me if i paid before i sat down ???? when i finally came back to jersey, i tried to see another therapist in february and she turned me down entirely and said she could not help me or see me because i needed higher care and she couldnt be responsible for that. then finally i began seeing a therapist at my school who saw me for a few months who i thought i might finally be able to get something out of, maybe, but she told me she had to stop seeing me because i was too sick too and needed a higher care and i told her i refused to go to anything inpatient so she straight up said she cant help me anymore but we could have an appointment to find a good program for me and i never went because fuck you for that. right when things started peaking again she just didn’t want to help me anymore. i understand the “ethics” behind seeing someone who you deem “too unwell” to only be attending an hour long therapy session once a week but for gods sake she knew all of the reasons i couldnt do that and some of them were kind of bullshit in her opinion like me refusing to put school on hold again but some of them were fucking valid like money and not having a car at the time to even do an outpatient if i tried and my parents and just everything.

then finally a few weeks ago i started seeing a new therapist, literally like the day after finding out my boyfriend has fucking cancer, and i saw her three times, spent the first two times having an insurance/money battle in the beginning, and the second time waited for her for 7 minutes after my appt was supposed to start and she still cut me off right after the allotted time was up technically not giving me the appropriate 45 full minutes ???? but not only that she called me by the wrong name ???? only says elementary shit like “so how are depression and anxiety” and just nods and doesnt offer any feedback when i talk. she didnt try at all to get to know my circumstances like i always had to fish for things to talk about because she couldnt even start asking me questions of her own since the first session which like how is that supposed to help me i came here because I NEED HELP and then even though the insurance sent me a document with this therapists specializations and eating disorders WERE LISTED AS ONE OF THEM she says that she doesnt know much about eating disorders and isnt trained in them so she doesnt know how to really help and she then went on to tell me she thinks i just need a higher care and that we could have our last session (the following week from last thursday which would have been tomorrow) so we can find a program together that i should start ???? yeah nice way to say see you never and take another $50 from me when you cant even rememebr my FUCKING NAME WHEN ITS SITTING ON YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU LITERALLY LISTED EATING DISORDERS IN YOUR SPECIALIZATIONS WHEN YOU APPARENTLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THEM ACCORDING TO YOU sorry im livid but anyway now im back to no therapist and that makes a consecutive three suggesting i needed a higher care but i guess at least this one was just a complete idiot and didnt say she refused to help me anymore

so i just wanted to post a rant update about that and i guess from here i will just continue

i started class and my last week of training for my new serving job yesterday, i had class at 8:00 after not sleeping all night and have three more classes and then training again, i look cute today but no one lked my selfies on twitter so that was very nice also, im speeding frivolously, and ,,,,

my mom and i got into two big dumb fights over the last week over something so stupid but as always she had to go on and curse me off and tell me she doesnt want me in “her house” which is really funny because how can you call it your house when you 1) dont even have a job therefore do not pay bills 2) my dad, as much as he hurts me, just had to get a second job again to support my family when my mom doesnt even have one and doesnt even love my dad anymore but she’ll reap the benefits of having a man willing to do that for her 3) she literally left us like two months ago to live with her friend then decides to come back because “it was hard driving back and forth and i couldnt see the kids everyday” which honestly, to me, translates to it was too hard coming here every day just to bake cakes 4) she told me whenever she does get money (somehow???) she has full intentions of moving out and getting her own place so even if she did have money i guess making this number 5) she would be PUTTING IT TO GETTING HER OWN PLACE AND NOT THE HOUSE ANYWAY SO I REST MY CASE DOESNT LOOK LKE YOUR HOUSE TO ME BITCH and i left sunday night and went to be with vincent and i get to sleep with him all week and then yesterday my mom tried to send me a meme so i would respond and laugh and we could pretend nothing happened but im tired of doing that im tired of acting like just because im their child i dont deserve an apology like fuck if i dont even deserve help on my medical bills ???? i think i at the very least deserve an apology every now and again ???? especially since they are a signficant part of the reason I AM THIS WAY and then yesterday my dad texted me asking where ive been and i told him what happened and actually tried to have a mature conversation and tell him how i felt like an adult and why i dont think my mom acted fairly and he literally left me on read so thats how my family life is going

otherwise eating is impossible unless its in capsule form and and im overly paranoid and i cant drive without imagining a parallel universe every car that comes into my vicinity somehow crashes into me and not even in the suicidal way literally in the twitching at the sight of an approaching vehicle and shaking my head and closing my eyes while driving because all i can see are these traumatizing visions of things that have never happened to me and im really depressed and i have no friends

and i really sound like a whiney bitch right now but i havent posted much about whats going on in my life lately and clearly !!!! i dont have a therapist to tell !!!!

i keep wanting to write and have fragments of words but it doesnt feel right yet and i know that

i have no money and my phone and car bills are due next week and i wont be making any money until next week MAYBE

literally the only good thing right now is that vincent is doing pretty well, its really hard to see him this way a lot of the time but its getting easier because im getting used to seeing him bald or how little he eats or helping him when he’s sick, as far as we know the chemo seems to be doing what its supposed to do, he is doing well, i hope it stays that way because he’s literally everything to me and the only thing that makes me want to be on this earth

#personal

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serenavonromvesen · 5 years ago

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September 21st, 2019.

I really don’t know where else to vent but on tumblr. I have always used tumblr as an outlet for venting and I’m reaching a point where I really just need to write out how I’m feeling, without cramping my hand writing with pen and paper.

I feel really lonely as far as friends go. I have an AMAZING group of friends, but so many of them live far away. I have my tribe and I feel I will always have that, but its never the same as having lady friends, I literally have like three or four ladyfriends that I can actually hang out with in person, and only one of them is someone I didnt meet through my boyfriend first. its not that I have anything I want to share behind him, its that I always feel like on some level they’re always more his friend than mine- and at that, I didn’t choose most of them to be in my life, they were given to me. don’t get me wrong, I’m SO grateful for anyone I do have currently in my life. I just don’t have any friends who truly understand me, and especially not that are into the things that I am. I would love so much to be able to be friends with another tattoo model in my area, and ACTUALLY genuinely have a real friendship. I emphasize ‘genuinely’ because this industry is FULL of backstabbing bitches that would throw you in front of a bus to get one more step ahead of you. I just want a girl I can hang out with all the time SO bad. and the one person here who is awesome, works like ALLLLL the time. it sucks pretty bad when you only have one true friend and they end up getting way too busy for you. she’s supposed to move away anyways she said, so I guess I better get used to it now anyways. I’m just so sad of having no girls to actually hang out with. Skyping with my best friend is great, but it just isnt the same- and a lot of time I do get put aside compared to actually going to hang out with people anyways. which i dont have here.

now, I’m SUPER introverted, nervous, shy, socially awkward AND anxious, and sometimes I have a hard time making normal conversation. in fact, I am always secretly bothered by the fact that I’m PRETTY SURE i have some form of Autism, but I would never actually say that I am being diagnosed, but I am terrified to find out. I once emailed a place to ask some questions and set an appointment, but I never heard back.. that was i think last year. Anyways, I don’t want a ton of friends or anything. I dont want to hang out every day- it’s exhausting. but I still want the option to be able to call someone up in those rare days where I do feel like going outside or seeing people, to actually have fun. I used to have that in New Jersey, my group of girls that I hang with an we all really support each other. I miss them so bad. I am SO homesick for like, the last two years now. I try not to think about it if I can help it, but I miss my friends, I miss my mom.. I hate that I’m missing my baby cousins grow up, I hate that I’ve FINALLY made a connection with some of my cousins and now I’ll rarely ever see them, I hate that I can’t do body suspensions more often, I hate that I don’t get to see my brother Sean when he visits... but most of all I do HATE New Jersey and could never live there. I just wish so bad it hadn’t been like 4-5 years since I’ve seen my friends and family. it hurts. I’m so homesick for just the strong friendships I have.

I just...know its possible. I know its possible to have the small group of friends I want. I just wish girls weren’t so...mean and competitive. I just feel so lonely. I feel like I don’t have anyone to hang out with thats a female. why is everyone so far away? I’m home alone all day every day. you’d think a puppy wouldve made me feel less alone, but really I’m a thousand times more stressed than ever. I wanted to move for a fresh start, to breathe, so enjoy peace...and as soon as I got here everyones over all the time and it just reminds me how I dont have friends of my own, and how my friends dont come to visit me, and how I never get a second to myself. I finally got the chance and heres this puppy. i love him with my life but I AM SO STRESSED!!! I’m with him 10-14 hours a day by myself and then half of the time I’m still the one dealing with him at the crack of dawn, too. I never get time alone unless he sleeps and then I have to walk on eggshells to not wake him up- AND I DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING WANT THIS!!! when I was forced to give up my other pupper, Hades, I said I never wanted a puppy again because IT IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. it puts me on edge and greatly disrupts my bipolar. i literally CANT handle it. I said I would get a dog no younger than 2 years old. I wanted a border coli so bad, maybe even a doberman because I still miss my old dog Max SO MUCH! I like bigger dogs and never really was a big fan of little dogs. I like a dog I can give a whole ass hug to, and feel protected by when I walk alone down a street with him. but no, Michael had to choose, he wanted a puppy, he wanted a small-type pure bred dog which means it’ll be twice as expensive twice as often with vet visits. but he wanted it. he insisted. and now, here we are, just like scooping the litter boxes for all 4 cats, its pretty much almost entirely left on me to do. for so so long I told myself “well he works and I dont really work, I’m home all day and hes not here much to have the time for it.” but you know what I realized? That when I worked full time at Starbucks, or when I worked two jobs at both the Smoke Shoppe AND Spencers, that I still put in the same amount of work as all of this- I was still expected to do all of this. at that, I am SO SICK AND TIRED of him asking me EVERY FUCKING DAY “will you mop today? will you do the laundry? will you do that dogs medicine? will you change the cat boxes?” periodically throughout every morning. like oh, I didn’t realize that I was a fucking 4 year old that needs direction on needing to do basic fucking cleaning tasks!!!!! the only reason I dont get to half that stuff most of the time is that I’m annoyed as fuck at being told what to do / treated that way, and that by the time he leaves for work theres been a whole fucking list of shit lined up that I now feel EXPECTED to do before hes home from work. it literally aggravates me SO MUCH just typing about it because im so fucking pissed off that he does this EVERYMOTHERFUCKINGDAY. it makes me feel angry and completely overwhelmed and then I just spend my entire day dreading it then rushing to do it right before he gets home from work. I just fucking hate it. like I’m fucking 25 years old, I know what the fuck to do to keep the fucking house clean, thanks.

at that, between the no friends, the fucking belittlement of being given a verbal list of chores every day, and the stress from puppy I absolutely did NOT ask for, I am feeling so depressed. I wanted a new house so I could ENJOY it, but instead any moment in my backyard is spent trying to get the puppy to stop eating random crap the people before us left- like glass, I cant enjoy how the inside looks because theres puppy training pads all over the floor which the floor is always dirty because of being in and out of the house with the puppy, or just even a moment of peace at all. like literally this defeated the whole entire purpose of wanting to move. its still a gazillion times better than the trailer, I still totally love this house, but because of my stress and loneliness level, I feel nearly just as depressed as before.

what doesnt help is lately Michael has been SO negative abut things. it’s like when I finally am enjoying myself, he comes through like a wrecking ball being negative, depressing, unsupportive, argumentative, and just plain giving off vibes that make me feel so down. He still makes me feel super happy like 98% of the time, but it is such a downer when hes being super negative about EVERYTHING. or when he gets my hopes up about things and then goes back on his word. he LOVES to tell me yes to shut me up then saying no when it becomes real, a mega part of why I haven’t gotten to visit my family in 4 years. and then he makes me feel SO bad about it. he has no problem bragging to everyone about a vacation, but when its just us suddenly its “I have to do this on my own” and “it’s expensive” like really? thanks for bragging about it for two months, waiting until we have it a month away to tell me its 100% on me to plan it, then complain about everything I tried to plan, WHILE making me feel like a complete and utter loser that I’m a failure at everything I try to do so now I don’t make any money. I literally fucking hate myself again. that’s where I’m at. I’m starting to find my body, my hair, my face- all of it repulsive. I hate how I look. I hate my hair and how my dreads are all lose, but I have to ask him for money to be able to fix my hair. he always tells me just ask and it isnt a problem but then when I do want to do things he makes me wait ages and puts it off or flat out complains- or if it all goes smoothly he throws it in my face the first fight we have. I just feel like such a fucking loser, that’s getting uglier by the day. and when I finally worked up the courage to go to the gym, its like pulling teeth to get him to go- I’ve been asking for a year and we STILL haven’t gone. I want to be a breakdancer SO BAD and I’ll never get to do that if I can’t go to the gym to work out. he tells me to just go but he doesnt understand that being a woman alone in public these days you’re at extreme risk of being raped and 10/10 multiple dudes will trying saying gross things and hitting on you/catcalling. I wish so so so so so bad I could go out for a day and have not a soul talk to me or look at me. what a dream that would be. I just cant go alone. its literally dangerous. scary.

I just feel so STUCK. I want to make money so I can contribute to the house and pay for what I need MYSELF. I never ever liked being someone who fully depends on someone like that. hell, a decade ago I refused to let anyone even get me a simple drink from a convenience store. it still feels uncomfortable to have to be like this. I want to be able to take care of myself. to know that if it was just me that I wouldnt just...be out on the streets. now I’m getting married and its a great relief that thats a less legitimate fear, but I still want to be able to take care of myself so that I could help my babe. he works SO hard for us and spends SO much money taking care of us, I just want to be able to pay my part of that and make HIS life easier, so that we BOTH can do more things that we like instead of just paying bills till the next check. I feel so useless and worthless. but everything I try to do I just fail at, or I’m too depressed and just lose the passion for it. or the will to do nearly anything. I really thought moving was going to change everything for me but... I feel nearly just as depressed. the environment change has definitely helped but, it didn’t suddenly cure my depression like I hoped for..

I just feel so alone, in like, literally everything I try to do. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. when I do think I fit in, it just turns out to be a delayed rejection. I swear I get screwed over and stabbed in the back more often than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. I’m easily forgotten and definitely easy to fuck over. I just wish people werent so hateful and selfish... all I want is to have female friends I can actually hang out with, have some help with my puppy, to talk to my fiance without him thinking I’m having an argument, to workout so I can dance, and to do something I love that makes me happy that I can make money with. I feel like I failed as a model too. I make all these plans and then.. I can never accomplish them. I often think, is it worth it really? to compete with all these girls when I dont care about competition? to be screwed over because I’m an opponent to everyone I wish I was friends with? to try and build working-relationships with photographers who seem to forget about me before I even get my pictures back? to not be paid for modeling when I spent tons of money on clothes for shoots? to not have my name out there after a year and a half? to not even be able to find a photographer that wants to shoot for publication? or be told I’m not inked enough to shoot again (the day after I got tattooed?)? I just feel like a failure. I spent over a thousand dollars on clothes for shoots, plus all traveling expenses, to have only ever profited $50 one time and then never get my edited photos back. I just feel like I’m not worth anything, that I can’t contribute or make money without making myself excessively unhappy working jobs I hate- only to be belittled there too.

I don’t even care about social media anymore. I don’t care to check instagram or post on it. why? so I can spend two hours doing makeup so I could post a selfie to write another caption telling everyone that “one day” I’ll do more? what’s the point? If only I had someone I could invite over to talk to about it :( I just feel so...unexcited by everything. like Stan in the episode about shit. I’m bored, I feel gross, I feel lonely, I’m overwhelmingly stressed, I’m growing to hate myself again, and I feel like I don’t have the positive influence I need to get better. I WANT to get better, I just need help and I don’t have anyone I feel I could reach out to that could actually help me. I just really need a friend...

#lonely #need friends #personal #feeling small #journal entry

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dailrpwmf-blog · 5 years ago

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Tip cheap car insurance companies for college students

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ayz8yf9q-blog · 5 years ago

Text

My husband and i are over 55 and needing advice about whole life insurance who would be the person to ask?”

My husband and i are over 55 and needing advice about whole life insurance who would be the person to ask?

Our Insurance co. we feel is giving us the run around and it s hard to trust just anyone anymore. We think we need to move the whole life insurance to something more profitable. We have been paying into it for over 20 years.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :car4insurance.xyz

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