#To find it on Netflix I had to physically search for it

[babyb1ues]

About Xavier’s online presence, virality and what it could mean for his identity

I find it interesting that he often ends up in front of a camera somehow, someway despite wanting to be “lowkey.” It makes sense that he’d avoid any type of photograph or video since he’s been around for so long, and having records of his existence could be detrimental and suspicious, but I wonder if meeting MC just has him throwing caution to the wind. Or maybe it’s because he thinks it’s his last “spring” so it’s like, whatever.

I always believed that he definitely had gone viral before, and the 4 star card that just dropped validates me, lol.

This text above happened before the myth card, aka before the movie, so I also think he got the gig from this. Wouldn’t be surprised if producers especially asked for him.

So, he has a sort of online presence. You’d probably could search pictures of him online. He’s been on a TV ad, has interviews and pictures of him going around, has his name in the Lumiere movie credits, not to mention his face was posted for promo by the movie’s account. It’s like if your face got posted on twitter by Marvel. Like, it’s not lowkey… at all.

Lumiere is a huge IP. It’s a brand at this point, of course it’s huge, there’s nothing people love more than /based on a true story/ and /superheroes/. Lumiere is beyond celebrity status and has become an icon in its own right. But that also means, he’s immensely talked about. There’s probably forums and online discussions about his identity—who he is, where he’s gone. Like, he probably has a Netflix documentary. Zooming in and dissecting grainy pictures of Lumiere, trying to get whatever detail they can. Mannerisms, physical appearance, fighting strategy, and god knows what else. I imagine he’s been picked apart to exhaustion.

With fame and mystique comes the conspiracies. So, they got his basic characteristics—build, hair color, fighting strategy, his fucking /evol/. And maybe even add in a witness report. Imagine somebody saw his eyes, heard his voice.

And then there’s Xavier, a notable and talented hunter who just so happens to sort of resemble Lumiere, and sort of fights like him, and his evol sort of looks like his. And you know this because it’s all fucking online.

It’s not hard to put two and two together. But hey, it’s just a conspiracy.

You think that with him being around for so long, he’d be wary of cameras, of leaving a trail. But he doesn’t seem to mind, or at least doesn’t act paranoid about it. I don’t know if it’s nothing or if it’s an intentional thing planted by the devs. To have his real identity leaked would be a mess—the public reaction, the pr nightmare. And there’s also the actual bounty on his head, how easy it would be to find him now.

I think somebody’s bound to find out. And for the sake of the plot and my own entertainment, I kinda hope they do 😁

[spider-brained-manthing]

Cuddling with Peter B headcanons/ficlet

INFO: sfw, gender neutral reader, this will also probably get corny like the Miguel post on the same topic, implied to be a romantic relationship but could be any close relationship. This is gonna be a Peter B X gender neutral horror movie fan reader. Also I’m not sorry for the mildly cursed screenshot I chose of him for this.

Peter B. Parker is perhaps the most cuddly man in the multiverse. Fucking loves physical affection (it’s one of his main love languages).

He’s incredibly warm. It’s a comfortable warmth but there’s a lot of it. Am I talking about body warmth or emotional warmth? Yes.

Peter is also absolutely the sort of guy to just plop down on you if you’re laying down, provided you’re not holding anything breakable.

Whether it be a close friendship or a romantic relationship or whatever, Peter would be embarrassed to ask if you could cuddle with him at the beginning of it, but would definitely start asking a lot more once he gets more comfy (like, at least three times a week unless you specifically ask him not to).

Because I forgot to add this with Miguel’s cuddle post, fic is under the cut.

It was a particularly chilly Autumn day, maybe sometime mid to late October. The two of you both had the day off of work, and it was a particularly quiet day for Peter in terms of spider-man stuff. You’d spent the day together doing typical Autumn activities like going to the pumpkin patch and going on hayrides.

Pretty much a perfect Autumn day by all accounts.

You and Peter strolled back in to your shared apartment, both holding a coffee even though it was 6pm. Peter kicked off his shoes at the doorway and you followed suit.

“We should watch TV.” Peter suggested as he hung his coat up on the rack.

“What were you thinking?” You asked. You sat down on the couch as you spoke, and Peter joined you pretty much immediately.

“A scary movie, maybe.” Peter grinned. He switched the TV on and set his coffee on the table in front of you.

“You’ll get scared easily.” You raised your eyebrows in a smile.

“That’s the point of a scary movie.”

“Fair enough. Better than Hallmark, I guess.”

After a few minutes of searching, you and Peter couldn’t find anything on regular TV, so Peter went to Netflix. You quickly found The Ritual, a movie you saw years ago. You’d almost forgotten about it. He clicked on it so confidently, but you knew how scary the movie was.

“You sure? That one is especially scary.” You informed Peter.

“It’ll be fine.” Peter laughed.

“Okay.” You rolled your eyes but you were smiling.

An hour later, Peter was scared out of his mind. Every time something even remotely scary came on screen, he grabbed your shirt in fear. You just sighed and wrapped your arms around him.

“Come here, you dork.” You mumbled as you pulled Peter closer. Immediately, he got a ridiculous smile on his face.

“This is much better.” He said contently, his face pressed up against your chest.

“Did you… put on a horror movie as an excuse to cuddle me?”

“Maybe.” Peter sounded proud of himself. You rolled your eyes and buried your face in his hair.

“You know you could have just asked, right?” You muttered.

“I know, but it’s more fun this way.”

[fruitgummies01]

Just saw you saying that u became fan after jin nd hoba were already enlisted so I'd love to read how you got into BTS and jikook as well. Have talked about it before? If yes you can link that if not I'd love to read ur story , if u don't want that's also fine 😅

Hope your journey goes fine and just a request to always go for og content than anything else. Before making any judgement on any member watch the content for yourself. Just in case cause this Fandom is definitely filled with false naratives and i honestly don't trust it most of the times. Just watch Things on ur own and make ur own conclusion. I'm saying this cause over the yrs i have seen so many ppl getting manipulated that whenever i see someone recently got into BTS and is loving jikook i just wonder if over some months or a year I'd see ur turning up against jikook. Months ago i came across a blogger here who started loving jikook cause they had seen jk's lives last year he did for jimin so they got interested, they loved jm and suddenly down the rabbit hole they started following Tkkrs and got completely brainwashed with their narative of comapny hiding TK and hence they're pushing Jkk so they can protect TK cause this theory made sense to this blogger and i even saw them calling jm bitch and what not. Saying he deserves all critisism from other shippers cause he acts that way. Like i don't have any problem with anyone moving to another ship from jikook if they feel there's more to other ship but straight up calling other homewrecker who comes in xyz ship all because of manipulation is really really sad. I really felt bad. And this is not even just a one time thing most of baby armys fall for tkklives (that's a tkkr YouTube channel who makes manipulating videos which portrays jm as homewrecker nd has around 500k subscribers on YouTube. She made that channel 2 days after gcfT when tkkrs needed something/someone to give them a theory that would make sense to them nd tkklives give it to them by manipulating members' words nd since then all of them falls for all her naratives. That's how they are, there was a whole thread of ppl confessing as how they felt for her lies and used to hate jm on twitter) so just be careful be it any ship or any members. Hope ur journey is as lovely as BTS are.

I would love to share how I got into BTS since I haven't mentioned it. Sidenote - I definitely fell into the trap that are tkkrs when I first got into BTS. In my defense it was mainly because of the algorithm and what was most popular when I was trying to find content to watch, and the fact that there are so many comments about them under absolutely everything, that it was hard not to see when first being introduced to them. Fortunately this was roughly around the same time that Tae and Jennie were seen in Paris together holding hands, and I saw in real time what was happening, and the weird ways fans were trying to explain away them clearly being seen together. It made me question a lot of the content I had already consumed, but I won't get too much into that since you're probably not interested in that lol.

As for BTS, I had never consumed any Kpop content before in my life. I had heard of BTS, because duh (they are always trending on twitter), but I actively avoided it. Fast forward, I think to around May 2023, I started watching Physical Season 1 on Netflix (yeah I was late getting into it my bad lol). I'm a person that loves to do research on things that I enjoy haha, so while searching for/watching interviews on Youtube, the algorithm suggested BTS' Mic Drop, I clicked on it, and the rest is history. I was immediately sucked into a rabbit hole of all things BTS, mainly just their music videos at first. And then came Jimin... at first I didn't really get him (again that probably had something to do with all the negative things I saw from tkkrs and the fan content I watched, that at the time I didn't realize were edits), but when I saw Set Me Free and Like Crazy I was completely and utterly blown away. And I was also immediately endeared by Jungkook and his weverse lives. But I just couldn't understand how one group could have this much content and talent. I watched official behind the scenes content, and I just could not believe how hard they were working, and how much of themselves they were giving to fans. Like artists here in the US work hard, but you very rarely see the behind the scenes of the journey, unless they release a documentary. I just could not help but to stan and support them.

As for Jikook, like I mentioned before after the whole tkk thing, I was very anti-ships. I just thought it was all crazy, and refused to believe any of it, and tbh based on again fan edits and perspectives from those in the fandom with way more knowledge than me, it didn't even seem like they liked each other and were the least close members in the group. Fast forward again to whenever Jungkook's weverse live was of him being in his bed practically begging Jimin to do a live with him. Being able to see it in real time, I was like what in the f--- is going on here. This feels crazy flirtatious to me but idk maybe it's just a culture difference that I'm not getting lol. I watched a bunch of other content in full, like JK's live where he spends hours watching Jimin content, and some other stuff in full, and I was like ooooookkkkk while I'm still not completely sure, there might actually be some there there to what some jikookers have been saying this whole time. 😂😅

[muppetminge]

i don't as such care much for the concept of pride month, but since i happen to not have much going in june i will take this as an excuse to watch a bunch a lesbian films. in theory, this could be 30 - in practice, it almost definitely won't be. i will 100 % get bored and stop at some point. anyway i want to find like actually good lesbian movies - which might be an oxymoron, but anyway - this means i'll only be watching woman-directed movies, preferably lesbian-directed but i'm aware i probably won't get to be that picky </3.

movies watched:

1. The Watermelon Woman (1996), dir. Cheryl Dunye. "all you do since you don't have a girlfriend is watch those boring old films" well, screw you too, tam. so happy to start off the month with something that's actually good. thank you cheryl <3 speaking of, this woman is so fucking hot it's bullshit. also i do need her earrings like asap but that's another topic. forever saddened by the death of video stores... where am i supposed to go to meet hot lesbians now? netflix? it's bullshit, man.

I don't think there's any part of this I don't find incredibly compelling. It's really funny, and just generally so charming and, well, human. the narrative of building your own history really resonates, and honestly cheryl gets it across incredibly.

2. Pariah (2011), dir. Dee Ress. i didn't vibe with this one as much, but i guess that's my own fault considering i knew very well going into this that i don't particularly like coming-of-age movies. the soundtrack hit most of the time, even if the soundscape in general was a bit flat for my taste. it's a very dark movie. like, physically. i couldn't see shit half the time. also not really a fan of the camerawork throughout most of it. it's a nice-looking film if it's your kind of taste - unfortunately i am too kitsch to really appreciate it :/ i thought scene near the end with lee and her dad on the roof was really nice. also found kim wayans' character really compelling

3. La Belle Saison (2015), dir. Catherine Corsini. not projecting but also delphine i feel you so hard. is this representation because if so i don't mind it... (except the part where you're actually getting some but whatever). desperately making me feel like i should wear more tank tops. anyway delphine was really in a headlock with every single one of her principles toward the end huh. i get the dilemma though her riding tractors is basically public service (to Me because it's incredibly hot). i'm not even gonna be an ass about it like i genuinely just really liked this.

4. But I'm a Cheerleader (1999), dir. Jaime Babbit. "1-2-3-4, inverts we won't be no more!" obviously i've watched this a million times before. did take this as an excuse to watch the extended edition and like just saying ms babbit if you want to extend even more you're more than welcome to it <3 gonna be careful about mentioning natasha here because i love her and chances are i won't be able to shut up again but gd people really do underestimate how fucking funny she is… i've personal beef with clea for having basically the same haircut i had for a long while and making it look so much better. only realized on this watch that melanie lynskey's playing hilary. incredible. anyway i genuinely don't know what more anyone could possibly want in a movie. it's so hot. like all movies should look like this - let those colors pop for a change! one of the best soundtracks of the last thirty years and i'm so serious about that.

i think this was probably the first genuinely good lesbian movie i saw as a teenager desperately searching for something to relate to. it still grips me from the very first scene even now. i do think the stars aligned to make this work. it's so funny and it's such a great satire.

5. リズと青い鳥 / Liz and the Blue Bird (2018), dir. Naoko Yamada. shit, dude. first of all this is so so pretty. it makes me insane how much care and effort they'll put into like a background shot of a shelf or something... and all the watercolor... gorgeous. like just the opening shot with all flowers and the colors that are just popping right out at you... in general just really effective visual communication, especially on rewatches i'd imagine (after having seen the final hug scene). i remember when i went to high school one of my classmates was so incredibly musically talented it was genuinely a bit infuriating and i was so shocked she didn't go on to study music 'cause i would have if i'd been able to get in lmao. anyway this was really sweet. the last third is so incredible. when they finally play it, damn... genuinely like goosebumps. and then it somehow kept going? i feel like it's still settling while i'm writing this but i feel like i'm probably going to watch again at some point.

6. I Can't Think Straight (2008), dir. Shamim Sarif. cut to waters novel. cut to k.d. lang cd. one wonders. this having a lower average than imagine me & you if anything really shows that reviews are bullshit. loved the music. loved lisa ray's character being half a second from jumping leyla at all times. loved zina; wish she'd had more scenes. loved leyla's dad being an insurance salesman; life insurance even. sells itself. when the ladies finally did jump each other it was with zero hesitation and i fuck with that so hard. this movie is so funny i don't care. bonus the ladies are very very hot. you can't fault a movie from 2008 for being incredibly 2008. here's to leyla for one day achieving the honor of being tala's fifth fiance(e). truly gettin' it all.

7. Portrait de la jeune fille en feu (2019), dir. Céline Sciamma. writing this on the eighth with an officially broken streak :( it Will happen again. this is indeed the first time i've watched this because i am to my core a contrarian bitch and seeing everyone freak out about this did Not make me want to watch it. now i have, and like... it's alright, yeah. didn't love love it. it's probably too long for what it's got going on. i loved héloïse; she was great. there's some really powerful scenes in here, the bonfire scene especially. i really liked how blue the ocean was; i hate this tendency of (especially) period pieces washing out everything to a ridiculous degree. i know some people are like insane about this movie and i'm happy for them but i can't relate unfortunately.

i did think briefly at the start that it was gonna be about croquis, and i really wish it had been, ngl.

8. Carmen y Lola (2018), dir. Arantxa Echevarría. 'ya te he olvidado' yeah babe sure looks it. had a certain interest in this going into it for very elaborate personal reasons. it's a lot better than the synopsis makes it sound. lola searching 'lesbianas madrid' like i feel you girl, been there!!! speaking of i was def convinced lola was a lesbian which feels like so rare in such a 'mainstream' movie lmao so well done. very believable. and like my girl was so so persistent you gotta give her that like she really went for it. can't blame her i'd be so into carmen too so like. her voice made me wanna die. so hot. (sí también es que el acento madrileño me pone un poquito pero,,,,). it really went insane at the end like damn. i was not expecting the ending tho like i really thought carmen was gonna be annoying about it. do i even have to save that i really liked this? because surprisingly i really really did. i can't help but feel it's getting rewatched a ton some time lmaooo.

9. 漂浪青春 / Drifting Flowers (2008), dir. Zero Chou. can't believe someone in the reviews of this stole my joke three years ago. speaking of reviews don't look at them because of course people have to be so so annoying about this. as usual. anyway. i was so drawn in by this you wouldn't belive!! i don't even know what to say... this is for all us if these walls could talk babes btw. loved the scene where one of the characters blatantly walked by posters and posters of one of chou's other movies. show off.

diego!!! <3<3<3 every single character is lovely but diego made me wanna *** ngl. it did hit very close to home, thanks for asking. realised in her part that i probably chose the wrong day to watch this but that's on me lmao. this would have broken me if i had watched it as a teenager lowkey. does it come across in this that i really like interconnecting vignettes? because i do, and this is really well-executed. hope you'll watch it and also that you'll find less spotty subtitles than i did if you do lmao.

it's a very genuine movie; i don't mean that in a condescending way, because it's also very much a well-made movie, but it's a movie that so clearly has a lot to say, and i appreciated all of it. perhaps this is also why i was so surprised at the reviews, because it really resonated with me. i know i've already pointed out diego a lot, but all three parts were incredible and they really held each other up. i don't think any of them would feel as complete without the other parts. in an odd way it stands like a shining light in the darkness.

10. Addicted to Fresno (2015), dir. Jaime Babbit. "(lesbians are poor. ..)" confirmed babbit apologist sorry :/ anyway i'm not gonna compare this to cheerleader i wouldn't want to try to follow that either. it's a fun movie! i laughed a ton. my lyonne obsession is well-documented so i'm not even gonna touch on that lmao. that being said martha is exactly the kind of lesbian i want to see more of (no projection here. obviously). i'm bound to be all over anything with these themes; lo and behold indeed i was. i stand by this being really well-executed, y'all just didn't get what she was trying to do <3 you could argue some tonal difficulties, but honestly i'm not going to. it worked. it's a bit quiet, but i can see that adding to the whole point of being stuck. some surprise appearances to delight

11. Saving Face (2004), dir. Alice Wu. first of all gd will's mom has got it going on. anyway i wanted a fun romcom and i got a fun romcom so i'm not complaining! i will say that i think this is the genre at its best. like romcoms often risk coming across as a bit clinical i feel, a bit empty, but this is just so warm. i adored hwei-lan (not just because she's hot but let me reiterate that she's so unbelievably hot; i get that boy so much, i really do), she's so funny. i love circular storytelling, and i think the end was done really well. the scene after that during the credits is exactly how i want my movies to end actually, i want my face to hurt smiling. don't you? wil is an absolutely idiot. i cannot blame her for a single thing. also i get you babe, i can't stand for dancers either. i feel like this is close to being one of most just plain fun movies i've watched so far.

12. Kyss mig (2011), dir. Alexandra-Therese Keining. gd i so want all my lesbian movies to start with a straight sex scene, don't you? coming to you with the exact opposite mood of that from yesterday. everyone in this is horrible. mia and frida's relationship is not believable at all to me sorry. i barely believe that these two even like each other if i'm being honest. it's not the first movie here where the romance comes a bit from nowhere (namely portrait, which made up for it with some level of charm, and belle saison, which i just liked enough otherwise to excuse it) but here i'm definitely gonna blame it for it because it's got nothing else going on, either. to be entirely fair, it was very optimistic going into this with my dislike of 'scandi dramas', especially of the swedish variety, but fuuuuck, i was so bored i'm sorry. it's soooo slow. i actually quite liked elin but she was there for like five seconds - and good for her, because damn you deserve better babe... both of the main women kind of suck lmao but at least frida sucks in a fun way most of the time, so she's excused. i don't know if i'm supposed to feel bad for tim (probably! knowing the genre, knowing swedes, knowing movies), but he's such an asshole. i genuinely think mia should have killed him. i can't blame mia for sucking; her dad's a major asshole, i'm sure she's had it rough. i'm sure if you like this sort of movies it's alright. it's not badly made by any account, i just really didn't like it. it has its audience. definitely a new low so far. the one good thing about this was that it really made me appreciate being a lesbian; those scenes with mia and tim genuinely looked like my personal hell. if i was mia i'd jump the first girl who looked at me too, ngl. the ending did make up for a few things, all things considered. i watched a not insignificant part of this without subtitles (because they would not workkkk) and i'm so brave for that tbh

13. Kokon (2020), dir. Leonie Krippendorff. proof that i should probably do more research before watching stuff (never going to happen though; no fun) because i did not realise this would be this much of a coming-of-age story. like literally hitting all the points. anyway it didn't do much for me. i really don't want to be mean here because it's obviously a very well-made film, and i get the intention, but... i was so fucking bored you would not believe. like i was less actively annoyed by this than kyss mig, but way more bored. it's not a very long movie, but it sure feels like it! anyway, if you're watching for the rep, you can skip this one; it's not really the main part of the movie, which is fine - comparatively, pariah had much more of a lesbian focus. this one really is just coming-of-age. something something you know you're in berlin when the whitest girl you've ever seen is swearing on the qur'an. i'm so glad i'm not a teenager - and what a joy to be getting further and further away every day <33

14. Desert Hearts (1985), dir. Donna Deitch. first of all the soundtracks is lovely (and it's a well-documented fact that mona will forgive everything for a good soundtrack). second of all i want to watch this again. like, immediately, right now. i'm gonna watch this so much i fear it's not even funny. ignore the 80s hair; we're in the 50s. one of the better romances yet. the lesbian-english teacher hypothesis proving true time and time again... incredible. cay is so funny. like the way the camera pans over to her in the bed in the hotel room scene... cinema! i was fucking done lmao. it's all just very lovely.

15. Go Fish (1994), dir. Rose Troche. well, we had to go here at some point. it's a very jazzy movie; take that however you wish. i have my criticisms, but also you can't blame a 90s movie for being too 90s (which in truth is what a lot of it boils down to). max' narrations were without a doubt my favorite part, the start especially so. there's more lesbians in one 80 minute movie than i've even crossed paths with, ever. cutting your fingernails before a date counts as foreplay in my book.

16. Joven y alocada (2012), dir. Marialy Rivas. i just know the progressive profesoras are going wild over this. huge respect to chileans for seeing a word and deciding fuck that shit and dropping half of it. top five accent ngl. also polola... also credit for starting a movie in the most uncomfortable way possible. anyway i am so not the target audience for this it's not even funny. it's well-composed, the style is great, entirely well-done, did not care for it. i only finished because i couldn't get the last-moment replacement to work and i didn't have time to watch anything else lmao. i have a lot of respect for rivas (hence me watching this) but... yeah. also really getting confirmed that i am very fine with lesbian sex scenes but straight sex scenes are horrrrrible.. nice reminder of the lesbianism i guess! i will be singing yo no te pido la luuuuna the rest of the night though. non voglio mica la luna...

17. Les Rendez-vous d'Anna (1978), dir. Chantal Akerman. an excuse to cross some akerman off my watchlist? you could call it that. i have a ton of respect for her. she's a very interesting person, i think. an interesting movie, too, all things considered. i'm very much drawn to the fastpaced and erratic truth be told, which this is like the polar opposite of, but it's got its point. i really liked the part with her mother. that was probably the high point of this. i didn't really care for either of the guys, like, at all, but it is what it is. still gathering my thoughts, i feel. not sure i'm entirely in the right space to really appreciate this.

18. Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same (2011), dir. Madeleine Olnek. "...I did wonder about the gills". oh, this is how you make a movie. (was smiling and/or laughing from beginning to end). question: can this be replicated in real life. like can i just go find the nearest hot stationery clerk or how does this work.

19. Mädchen in Uniform (1931), dir. Leontine Sagan. all impact aside, this is a lot more fun than i'd thought. obviously i've been putting this off for a while now considering i hadn't seen it til now, but i really did enjoy it. i feel like it's rare seeing girls just having fun like this. as a young girl i was very into this old book series (incidentally from my mother's childhood) about some girls at a boarding school; entirely irrelevant to every and anything here, but watching this gave me the same vibe throughout much of it.

20. سكر بنات / Caramel (2007), dir. Nadine Labaki. absolutely adore this one description i found that says rima is struggling with her attraction to women - lmao where?? the most she struggles in this movie is the coerced leg wax lmao. otherwise it's basically all very sensual hair washing, gd bless. she's also very hot btw i do need to mention that. i see you all going crazy over labaki and you're not wrong but gd man... anyway, sensual hairwashing aside, the straight girls are alright too. seriously, this is actually very good. even though rima's the lesbian the most homoerotic part of this is layale very aggresively waxing of her lover's wife.

21. Een vrouw als Eva (1979), dir. Nouchka van Brakel. after a hundred minutes still not convinced this is a real language. anyway, i don't even know what to say. fuck, dude. gd. you could argue dated, but fuck it's rare to see a movie like this treat its lesbian protagonist with this much sympathy, even today. there's a lot to say, but in my mind this is what i keep coming back to. it's in the little things. at no point does this feel perfomative to me, either. a few asides: the beginning of this movie was very extremely effective at showing how utterly miserable eve was lmao. ad is a giant asshole; eve not slapping him is a testament to this poor woman's patience.

22. 蝴蝶 / Butterfly (2004), dir. Mak Yan-Yan. between the marianne faithful, patti smith and janis joplin i can't be entirely sure jin's place isn't actually mine also fuck josie ho is gorgeous. i almost didn't watch this (length) but gdddd i'm so glad i did. it took a bit for me to get into, but by the time it ended i had to just sit for a moment. it's breathtaking, honestly. i don't know what it is - maybe it's the timelessness? the way everything weaves in and out of each other constantly, like it's all happening at the same time. i don't know. it's so gorgeous, though.

23. Viola di mare (2009), dir. Donatella Maiorca. ah, sicilia, amore mio <3 anyway what the fuck. i think that's my main impression for the moment. gd. supposedly based of a real story, i really do think it's told well for the most part. i mean, gd, it would have been so easy to focus on all the surrounding, but the love really is palpable i gotta be honest. making me sigh and swoon over here... if more people were like angela, like first of all that would rule, but also lesbian movies would be sooo short. she's damn persistent lmao love her <3 definitely worth watching, but like do not read up on a single thing beforehand.

24. The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love (1995), dir. Maria Maggenti. "Is this another one?" sometimes you really just do wanna watch two girls having fun. american high schools in media always throws me a bit because i genuinely can't tell how much is artistic exaggeration and how much is just you guys living like that. seems sick. if i still went to the hairdresser i'd show her a picture of randy in this. not getting over vicky's husband getting physical with a literal seventeen year old lmaoo go home dude! it's all very cute, genuinely. by my count this brings the jopling counter up to three. bonus for the bratmobile.

25. I've Heard the Mermaids Singing (1987), dir. Patricia Rozema. i'm really glad this is the one i'm the ending this on. gddddddddd i loved this so much. to quote polly herself: it's so... nice! oh, polly... <3 seeing a quirky weird girl represented so well is like seeing a shooting star.

all in all: this has been... really fun, actually. i don't know that i was counting on that. i did not in fact get bored and stop. i'm willing to concede that the amount of actually, genuinely good lesbian movies might in fact be a positive integer after all. definitely a much more fun way to spend pride month than engaging in nonsensical discourse. happy july! <3

[langernameohnebedeutung]

Hi, I was wondering, do you know where I can get a good quality download of izombie, your gifs are so clean and they've got me in a real mood to watch it again and I can't find the whole show on dvds you can use in the uk anywhere?

Hey! :)

I actually got the first 3 seasons on BluRay precisely for giffing purposes and then copied them onto my computer. Seasons 1 and 3 were very easily available on BluRay but I had to buy Season 2 used and it was actually more expensive.

Seasons 4 and 5 I 🏴‍☠️-ed and if that's what you're looking for, I can see if I can trace back where I found the HD download (warning though, there are so few seeders left that it took literally 4 days to download the whole thing). If you're fine with 🏴‍☠️-ing, then Seasons 1-3 should actually be easier to get in decent quality because they had their physical media release. If you want to, I could look around and see if I find a link (but generally if you search for 'izombie 1080' on any of those platforms, you should be able to find something)

Not a download but probably the easiest way for a comfy rewatch: If you have Netflix, you could use a VPN to change your location to Germany, because it is still on Netflix here.

Another option that I found and considered (though that would cost money) is on Etsy! At least one user I remember there was selling HD-versions of the entire show on an USB-stick and another was offering a boxset they made for the entire show and it did include seasons 4 and 5, so while it's probably a bit pricy, it would include all the seasons that are hard to get and get you all the first 3 seasons in one purchase. (I purchased a bluray copy of The Gifted from that user, so I can attest that they deliver)

I'm not sure if this helpful in anyway? :/

[smuppetshowmovie]

date: February 1, 2023 caption: Choreography! project: The Smuppet Show

Rambling about choreography under the cut

It was about a week before filming this scene that I had to face up to the reality of doing a show with multiple musical numbers. I'd made my way through the first few with just some very basic stick puppet bobbing around, but I wanted to level up a bit for this next song.

I started out doing internet searches for crash courses in choreography but then I remembered a technique I'd learned back when I was devouring everything I could get my hands on in terms of indie filmmakers talking about their process. In film-making, it can be very effective to just straight up attempt to copy elements of something else (usually another film, but sometimes just the colors or composition of a painting or photo). In some cases, people may recognize the reference and get excited over the clever homage. In others, the copy attempt is so poorly executed that no-one recognizes it, but at least it's different from whatever your default style usually is, so maybe folks get excited over the originality of the cinematography. A win-win!

I brainstormed a bit on the best place to find iconic choreography and soon landed on music videos. I grew up in prime MTV years and have so many music videos that fill me with nostalgia. I also remember my joy in watching DVDs from "The Work of Director ..." series (Spike Jonze, Jonathan Glazer, and Mark Romanek to name my favorites). This was back in the day when Netflix mailed out physical DVDs; my how time flies! Back then I watched all of their music videos and felt I was really starting to understand the mark a director leaves on a work (as distinct from actor or writer). Very illuminating!

Once I began re-watching the videos I remembered as compelling, I realized they were all very complex on a technical level. I needed to find a more achievable reference! I tried searching for more recent examples, but budgets and effects in music videos have only gotten fancier over time, so that didn't pan out.

No discussion of music videos would be complete without Mr. Astley's iconic contribution to the genre. I started studying it, and found it a perfect fit for this scene. I spent some time breaking down the people and the moves and the shot sequences. A main singer, a pair of background dancers, and a few inset shots of solo dancing. Each location only had a few different set-ups / angles, and a lot of the visual interest was just cutting quickly back and forth and cycling through the carious locations. Soon I had a shot list and was ready to film. Progress!

[foxglovevibes]

Something that would have been a really fun twist/take in Ragnarok (Netflix) is if they had a couple characters seemingly be the complete opposite (whether it be their gender, how they choose to present themselves, their personalities etc.) of the god they are the reincarnation of and turn specific stereotypes on their head with the way they're characterised.

Like could you imagine if the main group of gods went out to find one god or another to join them, fully basing their search on their previous incarnation's gender and physical appearance, only to be left absolutely shook when they find someone who seems to be the exact opposite of what they were expecting. But finding out after a while, that their godly nature is still the same as their previous form and has manifested in a way that benefits THEM as they currently are. As opposed to trying to force them into the specific archetype they were given in their life as a norse god/goddess.

Idk, I'm just a sucker for twists like this. Have been ever since I watched Avalon High as a kid 😂 Totally not lowkey planning a fic with this idea in mind- 👀

[innerwhisperswonderland]

ANIMAL MOVIE REVIEW 🎬

Since 2023 most hyped movie Animal is being released on Netflix 🖥 the first time watchers might be wondering whether to watch this movie or not so here is a detail review for all movie lovers in which i have described who can watch it or who should not.

So i will explain the movie in few points and will review it without any spoiler also will talk about the misconception regarding the movie so lets dig into the review of Animal...

1. Ranvijay obsession with his father -

Since childhood he had witnessed how his father was admired as well as criticised cause of his business he was bullied cause his father was a tycoon. Ranvijay also experienced his fathers negligence and workaholic nature at a young age. He saw how they slept while waiting for the father on Balbinders Birthday also when his sister wanted to talk to him regarding ragging how busy was he not even giving priority to family.

On the verge of understanding as well as taking his father's responsibility Ranvijay became obsessed and had misconception about how Man of the house should be as he had few ideologies about it which he implemented.

2. Toxic Relationships :-

The husband wife duo were toxic as no one understands the other and keep on shouting slapping each other was normalised . The base of the relationship was formed absurdly The protagonist litreally gas lightning her about ideal men , Alpha and all also the absurd dialogue of pelvis being big and all that was surely cringe.

She tried to stop him from smoking still he did, stop him to search for more killers and focus on recovering on which they had a huge fight. I find their whole relationships problematic be it her shouting at him or him trying to normalise cheating it was fully a crap.

Degrading women :-

The women are mainly used as an object be it Geetanjali, Zoya or his sisters all of them were just there to show off.

Instead of showing the lead getting involved physically with the spy they could have shown a different angle also Ranvijay telling his wife to face the reality and accept its mans world was pointless, not explaining and only telling her to understand was nonsense, pointing gun at her when she said something about his father that too at a timr when she was hurt due to his cheating behaviour he should've given her time as what she said was out of anger so this whole thing was too much over dramatic.

Also theres a misconception about pad dialogue in that he meant it in the context of his injuries rather than for degrading women or anything but still it could have been improvised and said other things instead of going on menstrual cycles as women has many more problems which can be used as an example.

Hypocrisy is shown where he told his sister to remarry after killing her husband and in the same place he told his wife not to marry when he dies.

Violence:-

The violence indeed is too much and too exaggerated seriously who hires 300 people to kill a single man also there's no way possible that a man single handedly kill 100 people with just an Axe. The machine gun, bomb and axe scenes were unrealistic and shows a touch of typical south indian movie. But anyways its an action movie so maybe its means for such audiences.

The end fighting scene was okayish like not necessary or impactful after beating shit out of each other Ranvijay asks Azir to stop going after Balbinder to which he did a bad gesture then RV litreally slit his throat like a vegetable cutting again and again. That was gruesome.

If i see logically then obviously Ranvijay wss not too much aggressive if anyone would had been in a place where 300 peoplr attack them then obviously he will try to protect himself also i like the fact that instead of waiting for Azir to attack he attacked him first so that he wont reach his father.

Gun Violence:-

Although he brought gun just to teach a lesson to those who harassed his sisters still bringing gun might promote gun violence among others which is very dangerous and i have seen people doing weird and stupid things just to look cool.

The intention was definitely good but he could have opted a better method cause it might had harmed the innocent.

I like when he drove over the eve teaser such people deserves it.

Brother in law:-

Killing him was not necessary he should have given him a chance or at least opportunity to explain and makr amends.

Family relationships:-

The siblings bond from the start was shown in a comedy and beautiful way. He respects his elder sister and also never degraded them. I like when he said to his younger sister who was obsessedly chatting with a guy to participate in his conversation as she also have to manage business btw the convo was an argument between him and varun.

His chemistry with his mother was not much highlighted its just Balbinder who used to call her name.

Realism :-

The recovery part was realistic.

Acting :-

It was on point Ranbir Kapoor did a commendable job he grasped the character well theres no point where his acting was off or odd it was perfect he adopted the character well.

Rashmika dialogue delivery was a torture to ears she litreally cant speak hindi properly also had one expression throughout but must say she owned the character as crucial scene where she had to confront a cheating husband.

Anil Kappor was amazing the way he portrayed the role of father was so good and might have reminded many of their own father.

Shakti Kapoor- He acted well although a small role but was very impactful

Prem Chopra- He is obviously a great actor already just wanted to say he was is and always be a good actor.

Tripti Dimri - She played her part well and did an amazing job be it her dialogue delivery or expression everything was on point even in the end credit scene she acted well. Small role but very impactful

Bobby Deol - He is a good actor still was not used to his full potential the villain role could've been made far much better his role appears in last 1 hr for a while i dont get to understand his character much which was too vague. He definitely deserved a good role.

Storyline:-

Very simple but was complicated for no reason the sentiment and context of whole father son story was portrayed well the subplot of whole family drama was unnecessary they could've simply showed them as business rival no need for whole family retaliation and blood thing.

Cinematography:-

Its good each and every scene are portrayed well especially the action sequence

Dialogue writing:-

I only liked the end infamous dialogue between RK and AK it was so relatable and emotinal i think those who one way or the other loves and longed for their fathers love attention and time can understand.

Many dialogue dont make any sense like

"Husband wife stupid fight:

Like seriously there was a literal gun involved

Also i dont get the point of Lick my shoe dialogue like wth was that .

The starting dialogues or can say almost every dialogue between RK and RM are bogus.

End credit scene:-

Not required still for creating the hype of next part they put the plastic surgery duplicate angle.

Conclusion

Who should not watch:-

Practical, Logical, intellectual, easily influenced, below 18 years, people who can't bear gender stereotype

Most importantly keep your brain at home when you go to watch this

Who can watch -

Action movie lovers with mind, those who know difference between real and reel, people who like bloodshed, gruesome, bloody types movie. Baby sitter movie lovers.

At the end i will just say there are many misconceptions about this movie which can only be cleared once you watch it. I think if someone has even a hint of protecting their parents then they can litreally justify the protagonist actions also kind of understand it. Its definitely not for the faint of heart and sensitive people.

Women might feel offended in many scenes cause its the sheer depiction of male world call it patriarchy male dominance or masculine.

I mostly element gender and think of a person's point of view also i dont believe a men has to be like the way portrayed in the movie. Its just for fun and entertainment dont get influenced or take the character with you simply follow a mantra :-

"What Happens in Cinema stays in Cinema"

A typical south India masala movie

I will rate it ⭐⭐⭐.5/5

(Just for acting and end scenes between father son)

For detailed review and spoilers watch this YouTube video :-

https://youtu.be/-5KEmOdWlDk?si=axAOgQLbcrIIduW-

[blazehedgehog]

Thoughts on One Piece?

I've told this story, but since Tumblr search is so awful, I'll tell it again.

The short of it is: I really wanted to get into One Piece. When One Piece started, pirates weren't really a subject you saw a whole lot of in anime. I thought Oda's art style was fresh and cool, too.

I did not like dealing with fansubs. They were kind of difficult to acquire (relatively), and at the time, I had a router that would absolutely crap its pants if I left a torrent running (it would have a firmware crash and all internet traffic would die until you power cycled the device). So the Kaizoku stuff was right out for me from the start.

I forget which came first, the 4Kids dub or Viz launching American Shonen Jump with their version One Piece. I think the 4Kids dub was first, because I remember being angry at Viz for adopting "Zolo" instead of "Zoro." Either way, I was angry about the 4Kids dub, but I was lucky enough to pick up the entire first 12 months of Shonen Jump, and figured that's where I'd start with One Piece.

Didn't have the money to keep buying new Jumps past that first year, so I figured I'd have to slum it with scanlations at least. I believe I left off in the back half of Baratie, and the only scanlations I could find from that part of the manga were like, truly awful quality. I have described them as "third generation Yahoo Groups quality scans." They were dark, blurry, heavily compressed, and the dialog was barely a step above an automated machine translation. I almost wish I could find them again, because it was nasty.

Around this time I think Funimation announced they wrestled the rights to One Piece away from the decaying hands of 4Kids, so I was happy to wait for that. We subscribed to Netflix in those days, the original DVD-by-mail service, so I'd rent each new set as they came out. Got all the way up through Baratie, up through Arlong Park, up to where they visit and prepare to leave Loguetown.

I think by the time the DVDs hit the fifth set, I ran into a problem: physical rental locations like Blockbuster had hard rental deadlines. You had to bring the disc (or tape) back in a day or two. Netflix, famously, had no rental deadlines. Keep things as long as you like.

While I had no trouble getting 1-4, some clown got set 5 before I could, and sat on it. For over a year. I complained to Netflix, and Netflix just shrugged at me.

Within a year or two of that, Funimation officially launched a One Piece website, like my memory is saying it was onepiece.com or something (which it isn't, that's a clothing store), but the point was they were announcing they were going to simulcast subs of the anime, for free, on this site. They were also adding dub episodes to this site, again, to stream for free. Back then, this was pretty unprecedented. Hulu was only a few years old at this point.

I figured: wow! Now's my chance! Go to check the website and...

The free episodes ended at the exact same point I left off at with the Netflix DVDs. Episode 53. It went from Dub Episode 53 straight to Sub Episode 230, which is where the simulcast began. Looking at Funimation's current site, this is what they consider "Season 1."

So I earmarked it. "Maybe I can finish it some day."

Some day never came. One Piece is over 1000 chapters (100 volumes) and 1000 episodes. There is over 430 hours of One Piece available to watch. The manga is so big people have talked about it taking up an entire shelving unit. I even saw photos once of somebody who had their shelf break because their One Piece collection was so heavy.

It took me over a year to read 16 volumes of the original Dragon Ball. There are almost ten times as many volumes of One Piece.

I have given up. I will never read it. Never watch it. Never see it. It's great that it's this amazing thing, truly this long journey, but even at 500 chapters it would have been too much.

Even if I wanted to, it's grown to be such a thing that when something happens in the anime or the manga, there are instantly spoilers for it all over the entire internet. 107 volumes of that is pretty disheartening.

I know about One Pace. One Pace is still too long. Some of those videos are over 20 hours. For a single video. And One Pace still has gaps in their coverage anyway.

It's just not happening.

[brainrattlers]

Play It Cool - Tyson Jost (36/n)

Pairing: Tyson Jost x OFC (AJ)

Word Count: 2891

Chapter 35 can be found at https://at.tumblr.com/brainrattlers/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-35n/l1n6k0ggp18i

Start from the beginning at https://at.tumblr.com/brainrattlers/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-1n/p7no8u1hzuza

Warnings: hmm. AJ's sick, taking meds so if you have a bad aversion to NyQuil, maybe take a pass? I don't even think there are bad words in this chapter.

Author's Notes: Short chapter, I've been under the weather, so just got some fluff today. Will get back to hockey goodness in the next chapter! For some reason, tags have not been working, so if you'd like to be directly tagged in my posts (since they're not coming up in tag searches? And Tumblr's support is failing me in solving this issue), hmu in the comments!

***

So that New Year's kiss may have happened on January 4th, but Tyson made it one hundred percent worth it. Texting from the airport, he made sure that AJ would indeed be at the hotel in about an hour.

Tyson: Not to ruin the surprise, but… you’ll be there, right?

AJ: Yep, what are you up to, Jost?

Tyson smiled, he secretly loved it when AJ called him that. She knew he was up to something, and he loved the fact it was getting to her in a fun way. Plotting little things to cause some harmless mystery and mischief, and of course making AJ smile and laugh was his favorite.

Finding his Grand Cherokee in the parking lot, Tyson hit the road, finding himself at the grocery store near the hotel before heading home. Stopping in, he picked out a few things he jotted down on his phone notepad earlier on the flight from DC. Strolling down the candy aisle with his small basket, he also threw a package of Justin’s PB Cups in for himself. Looking at his basket, everything from the list was in there, and made his way to the checkouts, and out the door.

After parking, and coming up the elevator, Tyson stood outside of their door, pulling things from the bag, including cups and sparkling cider. Inside, AJ could hear the rustling of the plastic bags and Tyson chuckling from the hallway as he texted his fiancée just inside.

Tyson: Hey babe, open the door in 10 seconds.

Tyson: 5, 4, 3, 2…

AJ opened the door, whispering “1.”

Grabbing Tyson’s face, AJ kissed him with abandon. It had been nearly a week since they’d physically been in each others’ presence. She pulled him inside, hands on the still on the sides of his face. Finding the counter next to them, Tyson was able to put the cups and bottle in his hand down on it, dropping the bag (thankfully without breakable items in it) onto the floor.  Lips melting into each other’s, the two caught up on all the kisses missed in the last week, and more than made up for the kiss missed days earlier at midnight. After a few minutes, the pair were left with dazed smiles AJ looked up into Tyson’s eyes.

“Happy New Year, Eggo. Here’s to spending this year, and many more, together.” Tyson’s eyes twinkled as he kissed AJ again. 

Breaking the embrace, Tyson went back to the kitchen counter, grabbing the sparkling apple cider and plastic champagne glasses, pouring each a glass. Before doling them out, he grabbed drastically marked down party hats and noisemakers from the grocery bag. Putting a hat on AJ and himself, he put a horn in his mouth and honked at AJ. The horn in AJ’s lips unfurled and squeaked in Tyson’s direction, leaving them both giggling, sipping on the sparkling juice.

Grabbing the extra blanket that AJ had on the bed, she headed for the sofa as Tyson clicked around on Netflix to find something to watch. She shivered under the fleece as she curled up next to him. The opening scenes of White Noise started, and the two watched intently, trying to figure out what was going on. 

As much of an Adam Driver fan AJ is, she was unable to stay awake and fell asleep shortly after the first half hour of the movie. And as the movie went on, Tyson wasn’t faring much better in the keeping awake department. The thing that woke AJ up was the song of the final credits, as she’s also a bit LCD Soundsystem fan. 

Attempting to bounce her head to the beat, it started pounding, leaving AJ shivering. Breathing in deep, her nose was clogged and she snuffled, waking Tyson instantly. Rubbing his eyes, he suddenly looked concerned.

“You feeling okay, babe?” 

AJ scrunched her eyes and sniffled loudly, wincing as she tried to stretch her arms over her head.

“I’ve been kinda tired the last day or so, I hope I’m not getting sick.”

Tyson put the back of his hand on AJ’s forehead.

“Oh no, you’re burning up. I think you’re past the getting sick level,” Tyson suddenly went into nurse mode, getting up off the sofa, “You stay put, I got this.”

“Damn it, I was working on scheduling *sniffle* places for us to go look at to live in.” AJ was more concerned about making it to the appointments.

Returning from the kitchen, large glass of water and a couple Tylenol in hand, Tyson shushed her. 

“Right now that doesn’t matter, we can find our place when you get better. Here, take these to start, and drink that whole glass of water. Gotta keep you hydrated, yeah?” Tyson gave a soft smile as he had AJ sit up to take the meds and sip on the cool water. “Will you be okay if I run back out to grab a few things from the store?”

AJ cleared her throat, nodding. Trying to not be a wimp, she attempted to get up but sat down quickly again. She motioned toward the bedroom.

“Can you grab my pillow?” Her voice was tiny.

“Of course, you stay put,” Tyson had AJ lift her head to put the pillow underneath it and tucking the blanket in around here, “I’ll be right back. Text me if you need anything, okay? Or if you want something from the store?”

“Sprite? And orange juice?”

“Of course, Eggo. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Tyson leaned down, kissing AJ’s feverish forehead.

Tyson made the quickest trip back to the same grocery store he was just at hours earlier. Grabbing a cart this time, he made his way up and down aisles, while texting his grandma.

Tyson: Hey Grandma, what’s the recipe for your chicken soup? AJ is sick, and yours always made me feel better.

A few minutes later he got a list of ingredients off his phone, they were in his cart, along with liquid NyQuil (Tyson remembered that AJ couldn’t swallow the capsules), tea, Sprite and orange juice. Tyson picked up a few other things too that he thought would make AJ more comfortable, the things that made him feel better when he was home sick. His last stop in the store was the floral counter, where he found the perfect plant for her, picking out a pot in her favorite color as well.

Rushing back home, the door was opened as silently as possible, with Tyson putting the bags on the counter. Peeking over, he found AJ snoring loudly as her nose was severely clogged. Without clanging the pots as much as he could muster, a pot of broth and shredded rotisserie chicken simmered on the one-burner stove in their small home. It wasn’t 100% his grandma’s recipe, but it was going to be as close as he could get in the time/space crunch he was working with. Tasting the broth, he added a little more garlic, and some extra spices from the cupboard. 

With a coughing fit, AJ woke up, looking around at the living room, not remembering she fell asleep there. Quickly, her nose, albeit stuffed up, smelled something delicious coming from the space behind her in the kitchen. Tyson jumped up, looking around the corner from the table to make sure AJ was alright. Once knowing she was good, he offered to help her get to the table as dinner was almost ready.

AJ sat down, still wrapped up in the blanket as two bowls of chicken noodle soup were ladeled up. Looking at the breakfast bar, a small green and white mottled leaf plant in a bright red ceramic pot caught her eye. Amused, Tyson smirked, pointing at the plant.

“I saw it and thought of you. I think it’s a… pothos? It’s a Snow Queen, according to the tag. And with everything you’ve been through in the last two months, you’re MY Snow Queen.” 

The smile that graced AJ’s face from the explanation warmed Tyson’s heart. Twice now AJ had given up most of her plants when moving to a new place, so he was hoping he could help start a new collection for their new place in Buffalo.

“Now, eat up... It isn’t quite the recipe, but pretty close. Grandma Emily sends her love and hopes you feel better soon.”

Taking a slurp of the broth and a noodle, AJ closed her eyes, letting the hot liquid ease down her throat. She appreciated that the carrots were soft. Even more appreciated is the fact that Tyson skipped the celery that is often found in chicken and noodles all together, as it’s a veg that AJ refuses to eat. Slowly, the bowl of soup in front of her disappeared, helping her shivers disappear a bit as well. 

Once their bowls were empty (Tyson might have had a second one), AJ attempted to get up and grab both of them, heading to the sink.

“Huh uh, you go either to the couch or bed… I got this,” Tyson gently took the bowls from AJ’s hands, “You need to rest.”

“But you cooked, I need to do the dishes,” AJ squeaked out.

Tyson put the bowls and silverware on the counter next to the sink, “Not this time. Next time, when I’m sick, you can cook and do the dishes while I rest, you know? I got you babe, you’re benched the rest of the  night.” 

AJ frowned, but then chuckled at his choice of words. Finding her way back to the chaise part of the sofa, she propped herself up with her pillow to help with her cough and congestion. Tyson looked over the counter to see her clicking on something on Hulu, starting an episode. The opening credits hadn’t even started, and the snores from her stuffy nose were already happening as he filled the sink with hot water to wash the dishes. He let her doze as he finished up.

Looking at his watch, Tyson grabbed a bottle from the bag of groceries that still sat on the end of the counter from earlier.  Popping off the little plastic shot glass, he eyeballed the red syrupy liquid that came out until it was at the top line.

“Hey baby girl, I need you to wake up,” Tyson gingerly touched AJ’s arm, “C’mon, it’s medicine time.”

AJ grumbled and opened her eyes, sensing the vile red liquid in the shot glass was not indeed a tasty shot. Finally awake enough, the cup was put in her fingers and then turned her lip up at it in a cringe, knowing how bad it was going to taste. But getting up the courage, she attempted to shoot it as fast as possible, taking it in two gulps. The horrific taste left her gagging slightly.

“IT IS SOOO BAD, ewwww,” AJ was being a little overdramatic, flailing a bit. She got quiet, thinking about something for a few minutes, forgetting the taste that was still lingering in her mouth. “Do you want me to sleep on the sofa? I don’t want to get you sick babe.”

To be honest, she probably already had exposed him with that make-up New Year’s kiss. 

Tyson thought about it as well, coming to the same conclusion. “I want you to sleep where you’ll feel most comfortable, where you’ll actually get rest. If that’s the sofa where you can prop yourself up, sleep there. If you want to sleep in bed, by all means.”

“But you need your rest too… you’re the one that has to play Saturday, and practice, and…” AJ got quiet, and started staring at a spot on the floor, although nothing was there.

The NyQuil was hitting, and Tyson could tell.

“Even if you choose the bed, I’m staying there with you. I think you’re going to be pretty out of it here quick anyway.” Tyson smiled as AJ completely zoned out, intensely looking at seemingly nothing.

Leaving AJ in her cold medicine-induced trance, he took the few moments to grab a pair of pajama pants and a tanktop for AJ. Before he had her decide where she wanted to crash for the night, he made sure she was comfy in what clothes he picked out. Eventually, AJ indicated she wanted to sleep in bed, requesting a pile of pillows to keep her head up and hopefully not coughing all night. She was still coherent enough she was worried that Tyson wouldn’t get any sleep, but he had one more trick up his sleeve, or rather, in the bag in the kitchen.

While not his favorite scent, it was something that always helped him when he was younger and struggling with a cold. Opening the little blue jar, he scrunched his nose at the smell as his fingers swept up a dollop of VapoRub and smeared it on AJ’s exposed skin above her collar of her top, and put a little just under her nose. The goo was already doing it’s thing as her nose started to run a bit, and she didn’t feel like coughing. An extra box of lotioned tissues was put on her nightstand to make sure her nose wasn’t going to get all red and cracked from blowing it too much.

Tyson really had thought of everything.

AJ was out like a light, and a groggy mess come morning. Tyson was up early, getting ready for the morning’s practice, when he heard AJ honking while blowing her nose in the other room. Peeking in, he noticed that she had a little more color to her face (that wasn’t the dark circles under her eyes). She caught him checking in, and noticed how tired HE looked.

“Please tell me I didn’t keep you up all night?” AJ croaked out, throat dry from sleeping with her mouth open to breathe as her nose was still stuffy.

“Naw, I ended up sleeping on the sofa after you kinda starfished in bed. We have this giant king size bed here and you may be tiny, but… yeah. You kinda took over.” Tyson smiled and chuckled, just happy that she did get some sleep. “I just wasn’t used to the sofa, that’s all. I’ll be fine with a nap after practice. You feel like some more soup for breakfast? I can heat you up a bowl if you’d like.”

With a nod, Tyson jumped up and grabbed a bowl and the extra soup from the fridge, heating it up as he finished his own bowl of cereal. AJ made her way slowly to the little dining table, sitting down and rubbing her head. A glass of water and shot of DayQuil was already waiting for her. She had been single so long prior to Tyson coming into her life, she couldn’t even remember the last time she had someone to take care of her when she felt crummy, and despite the obvious feeling ill, she felt mentally better knowing someone was looking out for her.

Bowl of soup in front of her, Tyson kissed AJ’s forehead while putting the spoon on the wooden table.

“Well you don’t feel like a raging inferno this morning,” He kissed her forehead again just because, “feeling better at least?”

She truly was, although not one-hundred percent. But was happy that at least her eyes and ears didn’t feel like she was cooking from the inside out. The soup felt amazing, helping her face and throat hurt less.

“I’ll be back in a few hours. Rest! And stay hydrated, your OJ and Sprite are in the fridge. Text me if you need anything.” Tyson put on his backpack and blew a kiss from the doorway.

Finishing up her soup, AJ put on the latest season of Letterkenny and grabbed a big glass, filling it half and half between the soda and juice. Settling in on the sofa, she sipped the drink and laughed at the jokes. A text from Laura came in asking how she was feeling - Tyson obviously said something to Grandma Emily and word likely spread. The two chatted back and forth a few minutes until sleep took hold after the warmth of the soup and blanket lulled her to sleep.

Not knowing what he was going to come back to, but figuring from the lack of texts, Tyson was quiet as a mouse once home from practice and again the grocery store. When AJ had emerged on the other side of her migraines, she always craved a handful of things, so he figured this would be no different and picked them up. Leaning down over the arm of the sofa, the back of his hand grazed her forehead again, making sure the fever never came back. She stirred slightly, but was out like a light again. He took advantage and snagged about an hour’s worth of nap time in bed, without her sprawling limbs taking up the space.

Until they weren’t, because that’s exactly what woke him up. But AJ’s limbs weren’t sprawling, they were curling up into him, wrapping around his torso. She smelled a bit of another shot of DayQuil and some VapoRub, but he didn’t care. The fact she got up, took some more meds, and willingly climbed into bed were signs she was on the up and up.

Chapter 37 is posted! https://at.tumblr.com/brainrattlers/play-it-cool-tyson-jost-37n/hxfl33gkhrv2

[amive2567]

hii, good morning/afternoon/evening! can i request a Haikyuu!! march up?

Im 16 y/o. i use she/her pronouns. my sexuality is heterosexual. i have a my favourite colours are green and black. my mbti is INFP 9w1. i dont believe in star sign im sorry :(. my appearance is short (148cm/ 4'8 ft) with short black hair that reached my shoulder, chubby, tanned skin and i have two moles on my face which are on my nose and under my right eye. i love cats and bunnies even though sometime im scared of them. i also love musics.

my ideal type is someone whos only show their care and love only to me, someone that always give me gifts, someome that didnt judge my musics preference or my appearance. respectful and honest. always listens to me when im talking. i love when hes into music like me too. i find males whos smart attractive. for physical features, i like when he is taller than me and has a short messy hair.

my pet peeves are when im talking to someone and they are not even listen to me, just cut the song when it dont finish yet and forced me to do something i dont want.

some traits i hate is when people who arrogant like they always think they are the best, people that like to show-off, lies and people who disrespectful to other people.

and i would like the match up to be romantic, please. thank you !!

Why?:

His greatest passion besides volleyball is music. He will share every new song he likes with you (his tastes vary, so he doesn't have a favorite genre)

He is pretty quiet and chill, so he likes to listen to your voice

A plain fact, but he is tall af and smart

He seems to be arrogant, but he really is just a bit insecure (this was first a reason that you despised him, but after getting to know him that changed)

He is a big softy with trust issues, so he will be soft with you and only you after some years into your relationship

Your littlle story:

" The popcorn is almost ready!" you shouted into the living room. " Yeah, I am almost finished" yelled Tsukishima back. He opened Netflix and searched for your favorite movie. "Do you want to watch part one or two ?" he asked as you entered the cozy living room. You placed the popcorn and the drinks on the Coffee Table. "Part two," you answered and popped yourself onto the couch. Fortunately, your parents had to work a night shift. You could have a Cozy movie marathon without any distractions. Tsukishima nodded and started the movie. He placed himself behind you and wrapped his arms around you.

The opening titles began to play. You both went silent to watch the movie. Especially the music and the atmosphere made you feel like you were there with the avatars. It's your favorite movie for a reason, but then the best thing happened. Neteyam finally showed up, and you began to fangirl. A bit too much for Kei's taste, but he was glad you were happy. "Look at him. He is so perfect. I wish he is real." Now Tsukishima raised an eyebrow. He let it slide for this moment, but as your fangirling became more agitative, he started to growl. He wrapped his arms tighter around your torso and placed gentle kisses on your neck. "What are you doing Kei? It tickles," He didn't answer for now. You were his, and this blue guy wasn't even real. Kei started to pout with each passing second of the movie.

At the end of it, you sighed. "Neteyam is so great, don't you think? And he is so pretty." That was when Kei had enough. "Shut up," he mumbled. "You are mine. This blue idiot doesn’t even exist. I am way better than him.” A wide grin spread across your face as you teased him. "Oh are you jealous, my sweet boy? Well, you are greater than him." You pecked him on his cheek. His eyes lit up, and he started to claim your lips. "I love you so much, and this blue alien can't keep up with the love I feel for you." You nearly had a heart attack from how fast your heart was beating. By now your cheeks were probably as red as Neteyams neck jewelry. As you buried your head in Kei's chest he began to chuckle "You are so cute."

Your special suprise: 🎧 A playlist: Pov your relationship with Tsukishima 🎧

A/N: I hope you enjoy this little story. Sorry it took so long. <3

[castiels-babydoll]

Divine Devotion; Chapter Three

--------- ● Castiel x Cassius Winchester ● An Angel and Hunter Love Story ● Themes: Light Smut, Smut, Suggestive Language. Sex Dream, Wet Dream, Fluff, Sibling Banter, etc? ● This chapter has some light smut/spicy themes in it so please under 17 years old please dni with this chapter. ● This is Part Two of Chapter Three, the other part(s) will be tagged as their respective parts. Please make sure you read the story in order.

With the shower not helping she sighed and finished washing herself, when done she turned the water off and got out, grabbing a towel and drying herself off. Cassius got dressed and then went over to the bathroom sink, grabbing her toothbrush and started brushing her teeth, once done she rinsed her mouth and tooth brush out and turned off the mini radio. Picking up her dirty clothes and hung up her towel before exiting the room, tossing her clothes down the laundry shoot before walking to the kitchen to see if the boys were still there. “Hi,” Castiel said to her once he saw her enter, “Uh… hey, Castiel…..” she replied, tensing once again, “He brought breakfast” Dean said as he pushed a box of donuts to the edge of the table. “He did?” She asked confused, not recollecting him holding anything before she got into the shower, Dean nodding, Cassius nodded and opened the box, seeing a long john donut and grabbing it. “Thank you Castiel…..” she quietly thanked before eating it, “You are welcome” he smiled, happy the three Winchesters liked his gift, Sam drinking his fourth cup of coffee already as he was deep into a book. “Do we have any hot chocolate?” Cassius asked, “No I think you drank it all the other day” Dean replied, making Cassius sigh, “We need more then” she said, “Or you could drink coffee like a normal person” Dean said. “Yes and I’ll just liquid shit every where dumbass” the girl scoffed and rolled her eyes, standing up and walking out of the room and to Dean’s mancave making him yell and holler up a storm, one she ignored with zero care. Once in the room she sat down on the bean bag couch she had shoved in there and turned on the movie theater sized screen, searching through for something to watch, the girl getting bored and switching to her Netflix account to find something. As she searched through her list of shows to watch she decided on Ancient Apocalypse, she curled up into the side she was sitting on and pulled a blanket over her, one she found on the other side of the couch.  “What are you watching?” She heard a scruff voice say, the girl jumping at the sudden-ness of it, “Jesus christ you scared me-” she said while looking over to the other side of the couch to see Castiel, “I am not Jesus, you know who I am” he said. “Cas, it’s a statement. Like oh my god” she said, “Right….. I forgot, I’m sorry” he replied, “You’re alright, I promise” she softly smiled before going back to watching her show, shivering after a couple of episodes, even with the blanket she has wrapped around her. Castiel scooting over and wrapping his trenchcoat around her while holding her closer to him, Cassius turning a bright pink as she cuddled into his side, she could almost even feel one of his wings wrap around her, it wasn’t physically there but she just knew that he had done so. “You’re really comfy” she quietly said to him, “Thank you” he replied just as quiet, “So he just kills people who are bad beccause he wants to kill?” Castiel asked her after a few minutes, “Yea basically. Dexter is a psychopath and has homicidal thoughts and to curve those thoughts and feelings he kills the bad people, aka criminals and all so he doesn’t go on a random spree and hurt a bunch of people. He follows a strict code and he tries really hard to not do it though because of his girlfriend Rita and her kids” she explained to the angel, the man nodding his head “Oh…. Okay” he said, understanding it but not quite.

[afuneralofathousandcandles]

Chapter Seven.

After hours of searching for what it could be, what.. I could be, we finally gave up. Not a single sentence or article to give us the clue. Charlie laughs, "Well at least we know that you can keep it secret, well beside me.." He jokes, but yet again I wasn't interested.

So we decide to go hang out and hopped in Charlie's car and left.

When I figured out where we were going I was kinda excited, but I couldn't tell Charlie that. We parked out car in the mall parking lot, and walked inside the huge building.

We walked around but didn't go in any of the stores, I could tell we were getting closer to my favorite store. But then all that changed as we walked and my stomach was starting to hurt again. After so long of not eating, I couldn't take it. Then I started to smell the people. They smelt just like a house filled with the air of a warm cooked meal. But why though? Was there something here I could eat?

I let go of Charlie's hand for a second and whisper in his ear. "I'm starting to hurt again, its my stomach."

He looks me in the eyes and he rushes me back to the parking lot.

"BUT WAIT?!" I say before he can start. "What about Hot topic???" I asked. After hearing myself and another smell I knew I couldn't hold back and we should just leave but at the same time I didn't want to let it go that easy.

"We have to get you out of here. It'll be okay maybe next time." He answers rushing me through the automatic doors.

I was so sad. Not being able to be around people was weird and I didn't know why. I couldn't hurt anyone, I knew my own strength but at the same time I was starving and couldn't find anything that I wasn't throwing back up.

So we left to go for a drive.

When we got home, I had to ignore the disappointment just so Charles wouldn't notice. But when I couldn't anymore I think it made him a little sad.

But we both ignored it, while we watched THE WALKING DEAD on Netflix, it hit me! In class we learned about mythology and for one day they taught is about Norse mythology!! It was something to do with the Reaper, but I couldn't quite remember. So I jumped and and.tols.charles to come with me.

We ran up stairs, after I grabbed his hand and got back on my laptop.

I quickly searched NORSE GODS OF DEATH, in the search engine. "You think you're some kind of God?" He asked me confused.

"No, I think one day we learned about it one day in school!" I told him. I felt so close.

Then I decided to search up, THE GOTHIC GRIM REAPER OF MYTHOLOGY, and the first website read DEMONS, INCUBUS AND ANGELS… WHAT YOU MEED TO KNOW! So I clicked on it really fast and skimmed through the article.

"There were demon incubus called servatian incubus, they were known to be loyal demon that served death himself, and we're often made from evil rituals and sacrificed made to death, servatian incubus cannot die, although they can be sent to the underworks permanently after a modern exorcism, they are known to be immortal, serve death, and feed of of human insides…" I paused, the floor beneath me dropped from under me. I.. I had to eat people..?" I asked myself. What? But how? Why…

"Keep reading!" Charles voice brought me down from my head floating off. Oh yeah. So I kept reading.

"You can also get rid of a incubus that serves death by calling a Guild master, also known as a grief hunter. Incubus are known to come to earth only to possess, use their physic powers for evil, or to obtain super human strength and immortality."

I couldn't read anymore. My heart sank into my chest. I would literally have to eat another human to not die!! I would have to.. kill. Just so I could live..?? How could I live with myself?

We sat on my bed in silence for a moment. Neither one of us knew what to say.

"Maybe it's wrong.." Charles tried to comfort me. But solemnly I knew it was true. I had tried to eat everything. Everything but people. I was scared and really feeling hopeless and lost but at the same time I had to fight off.my tears because I wasn't weak. I was a demon…

A//N:

UGGGH I COULD NOT TELL WHERE TO END THIS CHAPTER!! I GUESS I SHOULD TELL YOU GUYS THAT THIS BOOK MIGHT GET FUNDED TO GET PUBLISHED OR WHATEVER BUT I THINK BOOK ONE WILL BE CHANGED TO JAYSON'S BODY. THAT SOUNDS COOL. ANYWAYS I GUESS I SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK!!

#STAYTUNEDFORMORE

[merlinjor01]

APPLY: “In the Future” module 3

[Show Explanation & First Ideas]

The Netflix show ‘Sweet Tooth’ is set 10 years in the future, after an occurrence called ‘The Great Crumble’, inducing the world with a mysterious deadly virus and the sudden appearance of half-human half-animal hybrid babies, both possibly being connected. The main story follows a little boy called Gus who happens to be the first hybrid child with the features of a deer, his story is also followed up by the story of a scientist/doctor whose wife gets the first variant of the sick (what they call the virus), the story of a woman who sets up the preserve for hybrid children to take refuge and the story of the leader of The Last Men, fighting to find a cure. Gus is isolated in a cabin with his father, taking him away from anyone who may want to reach him and the sick altogether, unfortunately, his father gets the sick from hunters nearby, and Gus leaves the cabin after his father passes away in search of his mother who is in Colorado, this is where the show gets very interesting. Throughout the show, Gus meets all sorts of people who help him despite being a hybrid, such as the character Jepp who was former in The Last Men and is in search of his missing wife and child (we find out this child was a hybrid too). 

The last men banded together around the start of The Great Crumble, coming together to ‘save mankind’ with the use and experimentation of the hybrid children. The commander of the Last Men, General Abbott is the main antagonist throughout the show, as he is in constant search of hybrids to create the cure for the sick, But his main use for the cure is to convince other parties to join him and withhold the cure from those who require it for a price. 

To wrap up season two, General Abbot is supposedly killed and the last men have been greatly reduced due to a large attack on them from the Lady with the preserve, as they had taken it over and captured her hybrid children (Children whom she had orphaned due to them being abandoned). The doctor is also left at the preserve as he has become obsessed with his research in finding the cure to help his sick wife, who realises his madness and eventually leaves to live out her last days on her own. The doctor had previously been giving her temporary cures to keep her healthy and working under General Abbot in search of a cure while the sick wife is given this treatment. At first, he is unsure about killing the hybrid children to look for the cure, but unfortunately succumbs to the idea, and proceeds with the measures anyway as he wishes to cure his wife. But is ultimately left with his lab being burned down, no hybrids and nothing left, this is where my character concept comes in. 

Since the doctor has no hybrids left to create the cure and has no way of possibly tracking them down, I could see him getting desperate and trying anything even if it is inhumane. The first Idea that came to mind was a genetically modified human to be able to track the hybrids down, and the doctor is the only one who can perform this kind of work as he has the knowledge to do so. The character would be a genetically modified hybrid, possessing the looks and qualities of a wolf. I had chosen a wolf to contrast Gus who is a deer, giving them a prey and predator dynamic. The character would also be an adult as they are more physically stronger and they would already be part of the Last Men, showing their willingness to go through with the experimentation. The reason why they cannot be a natural hybrid is because hybrids started around the time of the virus, making all hybrid children at least 10 years old, yet Gus is 11. The reason why my character would be so willing to go through with the experiment is because they would also have the sick, being promised the cure by the doctor the same way General Abbot gained control of sick people. 

[082112]

Been rotating between feeling aimlessly lonely & sad recently and warm and filled with comfort (truly the it is so over —> we are so back cycle) and hence I have not gone and written the entry I have been intending to (in drafts for over 2 weeks now, although I really hope I will) about life updates and such. So, in short: I am staying at Outer Coast, and I will be in SF starting January for a SWE internship. Woot woot! I got what I wanted!

On the internship: a mix of relief, excitement about the riches (ie a decent hourly rate) I shall roll about in (ie go to a spa and get a haircut), and being in SF. Also a terror: of being in a new place (SF scary) mostly alone, of “selling out” as a callback to my hatred and jealously of those who chose SWE in freshman year, and the truest deepest fear - that this is a step away from throwing myself towards the things I believe I am most interested in and move me deeply - literature, history, physics, the beauty of the world and the fields we use as means to contemplate it. Instead I will be comfortably making money working for a productivity app. Really, there’s nothing wrong with taking a break, and the company is great and apparently has great perks. But I’m so used to the sense that in order to make progress I must constantly and relentlessly throw myself at things (and the fact that I always feel induitably and irreconcilably behind) that the thought of deviating from that makes me skittish and afraid. Ah well - it is truly going to be a good thing, I believe, and I should direct myself more to this belief.

A slight aside - read the Rhodes Scholars 2024 profiles. Was seized by the same old urge to desire it and scrutinize their accomplishments and compare myself to each one. Recognized immediately it probably wasn’t healthy; did it anyway; set me in a weird mood for the rest of the day where once again I was preoccupied with means of accomplishments and the metrics and laurels I could accumulate. Released it by the next day, or perhaps more aptly came to my senses, and now I am able to once again see a life that is beautiful and meaningful and hopeful without the approval of the Rhodes selection committee. Yippee!

Anyway, I was thinking just now about how I find direction and purpose, and how aimless I felt tonight after Netflix partying an anime movie with Eric, and letting myself think and feel bits and snippets of half-thoughts about returning to MIT. It’s not like everything was perfect there, though I remember it only piecewise: that I was often in intense pain, I remember as a fact, physical and emotional and mental, but the actual memory of said pains is partial and ghostly. But the thought crossed my mind just now that I think I felt more (or at least in retrospect now feel) that there searching for the meanings of the world was intuitive and easy; it came in the rush of academics and classes and profound revelations and readings and problem sets, and of course dreams of the future in graduate education and academia. And I’ve had this sense recently that perhaps I am shallow and awful and horrible for feeling this the most deeply (and tried punishing myself, see: almost leaving Outer Coast in spite of myself for wanting a transcript for grad school). But I’m thinking that although academia is nowhere near constitutively reflective of the real world, me resonating deeply with the intellectual engagement found in some parts of academia + higher institutions of learning is not at all a bad thing. That too should be celebrated; I owe myself so much love. But yes, TLDR - it seems, in retrospect, easier to find meaning when presented in contexts where I can intellectualize it deeply, and that is not a bad thing. And yet it is also important in the world here, where I am now, to find meaning also. :)

[pye-mental-health]

MENTAL HEALTH SUMMARY REPORT

Timeline: 2021-2023

Challenges in my mental health during the years had impacted my growth both in a positive and negative way. I’ve seen so much change in me, I’ve conquered so many battles, and I’m willing to embrace for the newer challenges ahead of me.

Form 5 (AY2021/2022) was a year of either long ups and long downs. Simply put, there were months that I fell into a deep depression, but then I recovered from it as 2022 came.

My depressive episode was triggered by schooling & public examinations. The routine life I had to go through was overanalysed, I had a negative outlook on it due to various circumstances that led to such thinking. Firstly, my friend always complained about the school’s regulations, and compared the school to different countries’ schools. At the same time, many Hongkongers were leaving since they wanted to find more opportunities abroad. So did my friend. Given that she had a lot of negative outlooks about our school, at first I wasn’t really bothered by it, but after she left, the first stage that stems my depression was that I felt lonely, I subconsciously held onto those words she said because I couldn’t help but to agree. Our school in general restricts students of many things, like the Appearance, Confiscation of Cellphones before lessons, intense practice on Public Examination, and long hours of school. For me, it was also about the environment there. I always felt uncomfortable physically while in class, like stomachaches, lack of appetite, lethargy, and I didn’t really do a lot of things besides academics for most of the time. This in turn made me want to leave my school and leave Hong Kong for good because I couldn’t handle it anymore. I convinced my parents about such idea, but the answer was NO or the suggestion was to move back to the Philippines. In fact, I almost had the decision to return to The Philippines and study in the school my mom used to teach at, but I was faced with the rush of time and caused me to overthink a lot. I was at a crossroads. It also led to the point where I did a suicide attempt prior to the commencement of my Form 5 year.

I was lost. I had no clear decision and pathway. I did nothing much except using my phone and Ipad either watching videos & Netflix or making edits /recordings of my gameplay on Trainz Driver. I also called with my now ex-friend Jay a lot: He used to be my support network. (The reason behind our friendship ending will be discussed in a later part.) I had no energy, yet feeling anxious and guilty for not being in school. My mother used to always convince me to go back, and there are times she became really sad/angry about the fact that I couldn’t do so. On some occasions, like birthdays, I went to my friend’s birthday party and got myself drunk. I was really messed up. After all that happened, intervention came since my depression and anxiety was still severe. My parents didn’t know what kind of therapy would suit best for me, neither did I. However, they still brought me to a talk therapist. But as I went back to school, I was referred to a private psychiatrist thanks to my school principal. In early October, I was then started on antidepressant medications, sleeping medications, sedatives for anxiety and mood stabilisers. It was trial and error, so my medications would change from time to time.

My medications made my condition terrible at first. Apart from the anxiety and depression part, although I was already feeling tired, but upon taking them, I became even more tired. I also experienced unpleasant bodily sensations like heart palpitations, head buzzing, and stomach pains. So I became skeptical of my medications. I skipped them once, and I had terrible withdrawal symptoms like insomnia, restlessness, head and heart pain, and my whole body felt so buzzy. I experienced extreme paranoia about dying too. I constantly searched on the internet about my medicines’ side effects and I was shocked by the results I found.