#To be FAIR

[once-more-with-anxiety]

me when I'm in a yearning contest and my opponent is jayce talis

[dekariosclan]

Professor Gale Dekarios of Blackstaff Academy: Now, class, I believe I’ve shared with you how I was kidnapped on a Nautiloid, hmm? How I teamed up with a group of adventurers, found the love of my life, saved all of Faerun? And how, through all of that, I still managed to focus on learning whatever new spells were made available to me, even if they required intensive study?

Students: *nodding*

Gale: Excellent. *shuffles papers in his hands, looks down at them, frowns* Then you’ll understand why I’m a tad irritated that half of you couldn’t be bothered to complete your assignments because *squints at papers* ‘your Tressym ate your homework’? *Looks up at class* Truly? That’s the excuse you’ve decided to go with? I myself used to come up with some very creative tales, but I know for a fact that you all do not have Tressyms!

Student: It wasn’t our Tressym that ate it, Professor Dekarios. It was yours.

Gale: …

Gale: *turns to shout over his shoulder* TARA! A WORD PLEASE

[i-suggest-murder]

you made a bill that makes it a misdemeanor to sell iced tea and to not also sell "sweet tea"

it was proposed by 6 reps

[thomas-the-goat-of-satan]

okay. imagine this. you're twenty. you're the highest that you've Ever been. most of the blood in your body has been drained. by a vampire. those are real. you can't move your own body. you're in an extraordinary amount of pain. and!! and. you're face to face with The scariest man in the world. he's super hot. he looks at you and says, "I'm told you've lived a fascinating life!" what do you say in response? nothing?? immediately plead for your life?? cry a little?? well, let me tell you something. that exact scenario happened to my good friend Daniel Molloy, and what HE said was, "...I never said that."

[bookmothic-dyke]

So. It turns out when girls are flirting with you. That generally means they are into you. Like as more than friends.

I’m so stupid.

[ckducky]

This one goes out to @a-dauntless-daffodil. They infected me with the hilarious idea that Charlie is jealous of an inanimate object.

[jonnywaistcoat]

You are writing 2 seperate books about the horrors that are held within the london underground system do you have beef

Ah, I see where the confusion is: I've got a two-book contract, the first of which is for a book about the London underground, the second of which is about ????? (haven't fully decided yet). Not saying it's an impossibility that it is also about the underground (god knows I've experienced enough horror down there for two!) but I guess we'll have to wait and see.

[drulalovescas]

Dean Winchester saying I LOVE YOU

Castiel saying I LOVE YOU

[medusas-graveyard]

War knows

Earth, now in danger after the infinite realms waged war against them, is on a time limit to reverse it. The shadows speak of a person; the only person who can change the fate of the whole planet. So the Justice League scramble to find this person, only for it to be revealed as Daniel Fenton-Wayne, the newest adoptee of Bruce Wayne.

The same person who made headlines in Gotham media for his mid-western charm, looked at them blankly and told them good luck.

[oifaaa]

Trying to explain to a cishet man that if I wanted to be in a relationship right now I would be is apparently much harder then it really should

[forklesbian]

I have decided that I need to grind the Mechanisms up into a fine powder and inject them into my blood.

[linguistics-and-lesbianism]

mountain goat fans will be like “you gotta listen to this song it makes me so emotional” and then they show you a song about being a possum digging around for garbage

[frieria]

Jimmy's hiding places in build and seek are genuinely psychological torture. Not because they are particularly hard, people don't spend a lot more time looking for him compared to the others, but because his builds are so empty.

At least when you can't find the others it's easy to explain. Their builds are so full of hiding places, of course it's going to take some time to find the specific one they're hiding in.

This is not something you can think in a Jimmy build. His build has so few places to hide that you can search them all pretty quickly.

But you still haven't found him. There are no obvious places to hide. You go over the whole build again. It takes a short amount of time. You still haven't found him.

Well it can't be that hard. This is a simple build. There's not a lot of places to hide. You have just missed a place. Just pay a bit more attention to your surroundings and you should find it easy enough.

Still you don't find him.

You search in the tall grass and on the bottom of the pool of water. You find another hidey hole but he's not there.

You don't find him.

Maybe one of the holes in the ground lead to a secret passage. You drop into every hole and get stuck in every one.

You don't find him.

His walls are one block wide he can't hide in there but there's nowhere else to hide. There is no way up on the roof. You search behind a trap door and get stuck.

You don't find him.

You drop into the holes again. There could be one you missed with a passage in it. Trying the same thing again will surely yield different results this time.

You don't find him.

He has to be here somewhere. You can hear his voice. It is taunting you. There is nowhere to hide.

There is still nowhere to hide. Perhaps he's not here. Perhaps he's not real. Perhaps none of this is real and this is just purgatory and you're forced to traverse the same small area over and over Sisyphys pushing his boulder

You find him.

He was hele the whole time. His hiding place was in plain view.

Six minutes has passed.

[clockwayswrites]

I wrote some birb out of order, because a little someone demanded it...

“Ah, hi there,” Danny finally managed to say. He gave a little wave of his fingers at the small face staring at him from around Jason’s legs. He also tucked his wings closer against his back. The wings had to be what had her looking at him with that sort of shocked wonder like that. It wasn’t every day— “Are you a new grandpa?!” Danny blinked. “I—sorry, what?” Lian dashed out from behind Jason and over to him where she stood at his feet with her hands up. What else was he supposed to do? He picked her up, perching her carefully on one of his arms and keeping his other hand behind her back to balance her. Unconsciously, one of his wings curled around her, but she didn’t even seem to notice. She was too busy pressing her small, chubby hands against his cheeks. “I have Grandpa Bruce—” (which came out more like ‘Bwuce’) “—and Grandpa Oli—” (‘Ohwee’) “—and Greatpa Alfie!” ('Owfee') Lian explained. “And you’re old like Bruce and Oli but not so so so old like Alfie and you’re here, so you must be a new grandpa! What’s your name?” Danny could feel the blush heating up his face. “I’m Danny, but—” She threw her arms up in the air and Danny scrambled to keep her balanced. “Grandpa Danny!”

[fosermi]

I wanted to do something cute. I ended up with something ow instead

so, here you go:

hoo boi, here a little cuddle doodle so yall wont kill me :')

anyway, if you guys wanna ask stuff go ahead