#To be FAIR
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dekariosclan · 4 months ago
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Professor Gale Dekarios of Blackstaff Academy: Now, class, I believe I’ve shared with you how I was kidnapped on a Nautiloid, hmm? How I teamed up with a group of adventurers, found the love of my life, saved all of Faerun? And how, through all of that, I still managed to focus on learning whatever new spells were made available to me, even if they required intensive study?
Students: *nodding*
Gale: Excellent. *shuffles papers in his hands, looks down at them, frowns* Then you’ll understand why I’m a tad irritated that half of you couldn’t be bothered to complete your assignments because *squints at papers* ‘your Tressym ate your homework’? *Looks up at class* Truly? That’s the excuse you’ve decided to go with? I myself used to come up with some very creative tales, but I know for a fact that you all do not have Tressyms!
Student: It wasn’t our Tressym that ate it, Professor Dekarios. It was yours.
Gale: …
Gale: *turns to shout over his shoulder* TARA! A WORD PLEASE
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thomas-the-goat-of-satan · 7 months ago
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okay. imagine this. you're twenty. you're the highest that you've Ever been. most of the blood in your body has been drained. by a vampire. those are real. you can't move your own body. you're in an extraordinary amount of pain. and!! and. you're face to face with The scariest man in the world. he's super hot. he looks at you and says, "I'm told you've lived a fascinating life!" what do you say in response? nothing?? immediately plead for your life?? cry a little?? well, let me tell you something. that exact scenario happened to my good friend Daniel Molloy, and what HE said was, "...I never said that."
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ckducky · 9 months ago
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This one goes out to @a-dauntless-daffodil. They infected me with the hilarious idea that Charlie is jealous of an inanimate object.
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jonnywaistcoat · 10 months ago
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You are writing 2 seperate books about the horrors that are held within the london underground system do you have beef
Ah, I see where the confusion is: I've got a two-book contract, the first of which is for a book about the London underground, the second of which is about ????? (haven't fully decided yet). Not saying it's an impossibility that it is also about the underground (god knows I've experienced enough horror down there for two!) but I guess we'll have to wait and see.
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drulalovescas · 1 year ago
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Dean Winchester saying I LOVE YOU
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Castiel saying I LOVE YOU
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medusas-graveyard · 5 months ago
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War knows
Earth, now in danger after the infinite realms waged war against them, is on a time limit to reverse it. The shadows speak of a person; the only person who can change the fate of the whole planet. So the Justice League scramble to find this person, only for it to be revealed as Daniel Fenton-Wayne, the newest adoptee of Bruce Wayne.
The same person who made headlines in Gotham media for his mid-western charm, looked at them blankly and told them good luck.
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linguistics-and-lesbianism · 6 months ago
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mountain goat fans will be like “you gotta listen to this song it makes me so emotional” and then they show you a song about being a possum digging around for garbage
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frieria · 6 months ago
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Jimmy's hiding places in build and seek are genuinely psychological torture. Not because they are particularly hard, people don't spend a lot more time looking for him compared to the others, but because his builds are so empty.
At least when you can't find the others it's easy to explain. Their builds are so full of hiding places, of course it's going to take some time to find the specific one they're hiding in.
This is not something you can think in a Jimmy build. His build has so few places to hide that you can search them all pretty quickly.
But you still haven't found him. There are no obvious places to hide. You go over the whole build again. It takes a short amount of time. You still haven't found him.
Well it can't be that hard. This is a simple build. There's not a lot of places to hide. You have just missed a place. Just pay a bit more attention to your surroundings and you should find it easy enough.
Still you don't find him.
You search in the tall grass and on the bottom of the pool of water. You find another hidey hole but he's not there.
You don't find him.
Maybe one of the holes in the ground lead to a secret passage. You drop into every hole and get stuck in every one.
You don't find him.
His walls are one block wide he can't hide in there but there's nowhere else to hide. There is no way up on the roof. You search behind a trap door and get stuck.
You don't find him.
You drop into the holes again. There could be one you missed with a passage in it. Trying the same thing again will surely yield different results this time.
You don't find him.
He has to be here somewhere. You can hear his voice. It is taunting you. There is nowhere to hide.
There is still nowhere to hide. Perhaps he's not here. Perhaps he's not real. Perhaps none of this is real and this is just purgatory and you're forced to traverse the same small area over and over Sisyphys pushing his boulder
You find him.
He was hele the whole time. His hiding place was in plain view.
Six minutes has passed.
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wearerandomlyyours · 9 months ago
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Ice: *sees shenanigans afoot* Mav, no!
Mav: *From next to Ice* Hey, I'm right here!
Ice: Sorry, habit.
Ice: Slider, no!
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asukiess · 3 months ago
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oooooof. does anyone remember being really young and something happens where. it's the first time you and friend's relationship changes. maybe it was your first awful fight together and you decide to make up, but it's terse and you don't talk like you used to and it's almost imperceptible but it's there, that demarcation line.
it's really, really interesting to me that Kagami decides to go along with her lie. it does not seem to be without some sort of consequence
anyway. similar vibes. additionally, wonderful parallel to the Protection scene where it was Adrien and Marinette comforting Kagami---now, it's Marinette who is the odd one out.
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a-great-tragedy · 7 months ago
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I may have the social skills of Regulus Black with none of the talent, but at least I took swimming lessons as a kid
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claypigeonpottery · 8 months ago
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I feel I must share this as it has to do with my namesake
Scout’s little face!
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she’s a fierce pigeon, and she would destroy us if her beak wasn’t so cute and useless
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goeldicotton · 4 months ago
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I wonder…
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shanastoryteller · 3 months ago
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maybe i'm just a hater, and this is an unpopular opinion, but the only one of dean's love interests i like for him is cassie
granted! i skip around pretty heavily after season 4 because i couldn't stand what they did to the sam and dean, but
lisa was a pushover and their whole vibe was weird as hell. jo came off as way too young for him and the way she was sort of in awe of him really soured me on that. robin was sweet but it just didn't feel like it was built on anything substantial - but also they were kids so
generally, the show went to a lot of effort to flesh out sam's love interests, even when they were only brief flings, as he's not generally one for falling into a bed with a stranger (as long as his soul's intact)
sam's got a type! it's pretty consistent! there's mutual interest and attraction and respect before they fall into bed together, which makes it all very believable. you're like i completely understand why sam likes these girls and why they like him
the only time i feel like we get that with dean is with cassie
every other girl just seems to like the idea of him more than the reality
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spark-river · 4 months ago
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-during dinner-
Beel: Where is Belphie?
Lucifer:... MAMMON, DID YOU SELL YOUR BROTHER?!
Mammon: This time it wasn't me!
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