#To any fashion lovers out there please enjoy lol

[skyloftian-nutcase]

@starwolfie asked me to elaborate (thank you for indulging me lol), so long rambles under the cut :D

So, basically, the era of the Imprisoning War takes place in Hyrule’s ancient past. TotK shows a variety of clothing styles for that ancient past, such as Greco-Roman kind of stuff for the commoners and then… idk random fantasy stuff for the Zonai with like Inca influence lol. I tried to stick a bit to totk style since this era is the same one, and I just wanted to have fun of my own. Also had to bear in mind climate, because like… those totk fashions don’t feel like they jive much with Hyrule’s weather patterns in “modern” day Hyrule of the games. Like I ain’t wearing a sleeveless mid-calf tunic dress in 50 degree weather, y’all! Especially if you add cold rain to the mix. Zelda, Link, literally everyone in modern Hyrule dresses in layers because of the weather.

So with all that in mind, a few points. One, Hyrule in the ancient past was apparently warmer, which is feasible since we have no way of knowing how many thousands of years have passed (for the purposes of my story, it’s about two or three thousand years between Imprisoning War and Hyrule Warriors, and it’s about ten thousand years between Age of Calamity and one of those eras). Two, clothing and technology would have been fairly simple way back then until the Imprisoning War revolutionized Sheikah technology, which would also alter how clothes can be made and therefore change fashion. Three, I had to bear in mind how Hyrule Warriors’ fashion would also be a continuation of what the Imprisoning War had.

So! My own takes on their fashion, then, for the Imprisoning War era.

For Hyrule in general, commoners usually wore simple tunics/tunic dress. The shorter the attire, the more active the lifestyle, typically. Sleeves weren’t really a thing unless it was regularly cool/cold (the tunic was legit just a rectangular cloth with a hole for the head and arms, cinched at the waist with a belt and embellished with layering of belts depending on the region; more formal attire included the overlaying toga-looking over tunic for men and layering tunics/dresses for women), if it got chilly you’d just wear a cloak or a wrap. Sandals, like the ancient ones in totk, were fairly common, or no shoes at all depending on the region and the people. Now, it did get cold in places, so pants were a thing, but they were pretty shapeless and baggy, and were tied in place with cloth to be more fitted around the calves and ankles, and then the thongs for the shoes were simply tied overtop. Places with snow were typically where you’d find something more akin to boots.

Now, things got a little different at the castle because richer/more important people had access to more. Head coverings didn’t matter to the common folk, but boys and girls alike usually covered their heads in noble families, a leftover of the image of Hylia wearing a veil and the Hero always having a hat. Layering was far more common in the castle, with Princess Zelda often wearing a simple tunic dress underneath a more complicated fabric, sometimes something with wide sleeves in the winter or something that lays over like a sash and skirt in warmer weather.

The Sheikah are a different matter. They’re generally very Japanese coded, so I did some digging on ancient Japanese styles. The Sheikah are very incorporated into Hyrule’s affairs but alas their own distinct cultural group, so there’s some blending there. Sheikah warriors usually wear some variation of an under tunic with a sleeveless version of an uwagi (kimono short top used in martial arts) worn over it, all tied by an obi. They wear trousers, which are baggy and shapeless, tied just below the knee, and closed shoes. When just doing guard duty that’s their outfit, but they have armor they can layer overtop as well. They also commonly wear bracers. In their casual attire, they wear something far more akin to the familiar kimono/hakama or kimono top paired with a full length skirt. They didn’t start wearing more form fitting kimono, like what you see in botw/totk, until Sheikah tech improved.

As for detail/embellishment/ornamentation, jewelry is not very common in Hyrule. Commoners hardly, if ever, have any. Nobility typically use earrings as their main form of jewelry. It’s a status symbol - the more earrings, the more status you have. Royalty wears four on each ear by adulthood. Children typically only have one or two ear piercings, gaining more as they grow if their station allows. Sheikah traditionally pierce their ears at their coming-of-age ceremony, a tradition that caries on through the millennia. The Hyrulian royal family and the sages commonly have skin paint with symbols depicting their people’s history, as they are living embodiments of carrying on Hyrule as a whole and its traditions.

Now, the Gerudo are entirely different. (Firstly, what the heck is their culture based on lol, they’re Middle Eastern coded but dress like belly dancers. Sigh. I digress. I decided to mix Turkish, Egyptian, and a little bit of Indian culture together for them.) They like fashion and bright colors and they love jewelry. But their climate is quite harsh, either blazing, dry heat or frigid nights. So while they’re famous for their jewel-decorated halter tops, that’s really only formal military attire that the royals wear when going abroad. More common attire consists of baggy pants based on Turkish şalvar in bright colors paired with a choli blouse, or the same blouse with a full length skirt. They also often wear headdresses adorned with brass (gold for the nobles) and beads, with silky veils. For more formal occasions, they would wear sheath dresses, dresses that were wrapped from bodice to below the knees with two straps holding them up. A looser form of this was often preferred for nursing mothers because it allowed easy access for the baby. As for the colors, the Gerudo would make their clothes in every bright color they could. And they would wear all the jewelry and extra fabrics, like sashes, in the world to embellish. And no, none of them wore heels - their shoes were flat or they were barefoot while just chilling at home. But they were designed to help them get through the sand. As for the men (husbands were allowed to live in the desert with the women in this era), they typically wore either the same baggy pants as the women or a skirt length loincloth that was essentially a shendyt (ancient Egyptian standard wear for dudes). Oftentimes men would also wear a sleeveless top that could either be worn as a triangular shawl or just over one shoulder (Ganondorf’s preferred way). For the royal men, this top was usually made of silk.

For battle, the women could wear their colorful armor depending on where they were fighting, but in hotter or wetter climates it was best not to be cooking in metal, so they would switch to leather armor instead.

After the war, Sheikah technology made major changes throughout Hyrule, and the utter near annihilation of the Gerudo wiped out much of their rich fashion culture. Hyrulians could wear more form fitting clothes while Gerudo wore whatever simple shapes they could throw together to survive.

Okay, NOW I’m done talking, I have chores to do LOL

I wanna talk about the fashion of the Imprisoning War but that means I’d have to draw more and I don’t have time for that and I have other things to do but I’ve been thinking about it for like a month and—

[ljaylmaoo]

Only Yours

hook x fem!reader

summary: you and hook have a relationship that everyone wishes they could experience and someone tries to break you two apart

genre: very angsty, also extremely fluffy

warnings: hook is really soft in this lol, hickeyss, arguments, there’s a kiss without consent in this, I think that’s it

a/n: hii! this is my FIRST post and one-shot that I wrote out of pure boredom lol. if there’s any typos sorry, I wrote this from 2 am to 7 am in one go lol. please let me know what you think after, AND PLEASE feel free to send requests! as I had a lot of fun writing this and would love to write more! hope you enjoy! thank you :)

word count: 3.6k

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To say you were nervous was an understatement.

At the moment, you were doing the final touches of your makeup in anticipation of Castlecoming. You weren’t very fond of wearing a dress. Sure you loved fashion, but dresses? Most certainly not. But you promised Bridget that if she got Ella to wear a dress, you would too. You also wanted to surprise your boyfriend James who would never expect you to actually wear a gown such as this one. So there you stood, admiring your figure in the gold, arched, full length mirror that sat in the corner of your dorm after brushing on some highlighter on the highest part of your cheekbones and tip of your nose. You cursed at yourself for liking the way the gown looked on you.

“Wow..”

The sudden low whisper like voice from the left of you made you jump a bit then relaxed when you recognized the comforting voice of your boyfriend which instantly washed away the nerves you previously had. You glanced over your shoulder, a radiant smile that couldn’t be hidden even if you tried crept up as you caught the sight of your breathtakingly beautiful lover carrying a bouquet of your favourite flowers in one hand and a box with a bow that held a corsage that luckily matched your dress perfectly.

He slowly made his way up to you, taking in every detail of the rare sight that lied in front of him. He gently set down the box on your vanity, “Art has no depiction that’s fitting of your description. Even the most ignorant would applaud and long for my loves radiance.”

A soft blush washed over your cheeks, “says you, my pretty boy.” You giggle taking the flowers he presented to you with a bow and placed your arms around his neck with him pulling your waist close to him. James has always been a romantic. Every compliment he gives makes Shakespeare’s poems seem dull. Everyone in the academy ached to have your kind of love. And the girls were envious of how James showed his love for you. Always showing you off every chance he gets. He was proud to call you his. He also could never keep his hands off of you, always had to be touching you someway twenty four seven.

Though you two were infatuated with love for one another, there would be the odd argument that would leave you not talking for a day or two which was usually due to his mean and sometimes cruel words that he really didn’t mean. He was still a VK after all.

“Doesn’t my darling look ravishing today?” Was something he would ask the VKs daily as he watched from afar with googoo eyes while smiling like an idiot as you were laughing and talking with your friends, not taking his eyes off you once. Even if you were in a fight and not talking that day.

“Aren’t you guys in a fight?”

“Doesn’t make her any less breathtaking and heavenly to look at.”

These days were torture for him. He tried to be tough and not show how much he was suffering without you, but it never lasted long. By the time he finally breaks he comes knocking on your door with a teddy and “I’m sorry” flowers with him apologizing profusely almost leaving him in tears begging you to take him back explaining how lonely his bed is and how he missed being tangled up with you in your bed every night having the ability to hold you close to him as you drifted off to sleep, and of course you can never stay mad at him. Especially when he’s making himself look like a fool in front of others as they passed by not caring if they judged him by how pathetic he looked, his mind only being set on getting you back.

He was also very protective and possessive of you. If anyone was mean to you or dared try to lay a hand on you flirtatiously, he wasn’t afraid to handle them himself or he would aggressively yet still carefully grab your waist, sometimes with his hook, and kiss you in front of them before smirking at them and watched with satisfaction as they rolled their eyes and walked off. He’d also sometimes give you a few hickeys, making sure that they were as visible as possible. you both wore a necklace with each other’s initials engraved and a diamond heart.

He had also gifted you a beautiful promise ring for your one year anniversary and you’ve worn it ever since.

His favourite pastime was gazing at you while you did your schoolwork or as you slept in his arms. “My heart is so full of you, I can hardly call it my own.” Is just one of the many examples he would say whenever you got insecure and were in denial. He always made sure you knew his devotion to you was for eternity.

You were soulmates without a doubt. Twin flames.

He kissed you passionately, hungrily placing his soft plump lips on yours. You melted into his touch, smiling at his desperation to get as physically close to you as possible in anyway he could. You tried to pull away to catch your breath but he wouldn’t let you, “James” you laughed with his lips still attached to yours, lightly pushing him away at his chest.

He finally pulled away, “yes, love?” He smiled still staring at your lips, lovingly

“I could barely breathe” you laughed again, “I’m sorry darling, I just can’t ever get enough of you.” He shamelessly admitted. You both stayed close admiring each other’s features, leaving no room in between. His hands still firm on your lower back as you stroked his hair. His hair was probably your favourite feature of his. It was soft and always the perfect length, swept back.

“I love you so much.” you whispered looking into his eyes while fixing his collar and necklaces after messing it up a bit from the kiss

“Not as much as I do you, sweetheart.”

“I don’t think so” you replied knowing you always lose the ‘I love you more’ arguments. He laughed, “oh darling, we both know that’s not possible. My love for you will remain as infinite as the stars.” He said while caressing your cheek. You placed your hand on top of his and smiled shyly. He grabbed the box off of the vanity and took the corsage out, he gently took your hand and slid it onto your wrist then kissed your hand softly. “There you are my love.” He said while looking up at you. You had your hand on your chest, “oh my goodness! Thank you, it’s beautiful.” You said while looking at it in awe. He smiled, “of course darling.” He gave you a quick kiss and lead you to the door and opened it, “after you, gorgeous.”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You and James entered the ballroom together with your arm wrapped around his and hands intertwined looking around the huge decorated room. It was everything you’d imagined it would be. Everyone dressed up in breathtakingly beautiful suits and gowns scattered around the room mingling with their friends or dancing with their loved ones as music played in the background. James watched you in adoration, the amazement in your eyes made them sparkle along with the light glistening from the chandeliers above. The two of you got some glances from your peers of course as you were named ‘Best Couple’ in the yearbook and everyone adored your relationship for the most part. Among the people who were jealous, there was one girl in particular that absolutely despised your relationship. That girl goes by the name of Aria. (if your name is Aria I’M SORRY LMAO) She hated how happy you guys were especially of how loving James was towards you and hated how much people adored your relationship.

She was also James’ ex girlfriend.

They were together for eight months and broke up just five months before you both officially started dating. During those eight dreadful months, they were extremely toxic. They would get into pointless heated arguments on a daily basis at school, some even resulting in James earning a slap to the face, but then would be seen back together by the end of the day making out by the lockers or something. You knew of James beforehand because he was part of Uliana’s crew and also because you had to pass his locker almost everyday in order to get to class and that was usually where they would have their fights. He never paid any attention to you at first, but when Uliana began tormenting Bridget, you caught his eye. He’d constantly try to flirt with you and you would often find him to be staring at you whenever you weren’t looking. One thing led to another and after four months of his many attempts to try and get to you, you finally gave in and decided to give him a chance and a month later, it was made official. You don’t know what changed in him for him to treat you the complete opposite of how he treated Aria and she hated you for it though she couldn’t do anything about it because she knew what he and the VK’s would do if she did. So she always judged from afar, only doing as much as giving you a glare everytime you made eye contact. She wanted to try and sabotage your relationship the night of Castlecoming and break the two of you up, so she came with a plan.

Aria was with her friends when one of them spoke up, “woah, they look grossly fabulous tonight..” she turned and her jaw dropped instantly when she saw the two of you on the other side of the room talking to Uliana and the rest of the group, James spinning you around to show off your gown. She boiled with rage and turned back to her friends, “yeah, we are definitely going to break them up tonight.”

As James was talking with Morgie, you spotted your friends Bridget and Ella so you lightly tapped his shoulder and leaned in to whisper making sure Uliana didn’t notice as she was currently talking with Maleficent beside you, “I’m going to go say hi to Bridget and Ella, okay?” He looked down at you and kissed gave you a quick kiss, “okay, love.” You gave one more kiss on the cheek before heading off towards your friends.

Bridget squealed with excitement as she saw you approaching them, “oh my gosh! Y/n?! You look amazing!” She came up and pulled you into a hug, squeezing tightly to express how proud she was. “I know, I know” you jokingly said after she let go while blushing a bit. You smiled and hugged Ella, “wow I didn’t actually think I’d see you in a dress, like ever.” Ella gave a small smile and laughed, “I could say the same to you.” You scoffed, “well of course I did. We wouldn’t wanna disappoint our girl here now, would we?” You said while patting Bridget on the shoulder who was bursting with excitement jumping up and down while clapping her hands, “okay we need! To take pictures, come on!” She insisted before pulling you both over to the Photo Booth.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

It was later into the night and you were dancing with James, Ella had to go home due to her strict curfew her stepmother gave her, and Bridget went back to her dorm to let you and James have some time together. Aria and her friends watched you with rage as you were gazing into each other’s eyes lovingly, waiting for the perfect moment to begin her plan. He spun you around as the song ended and kissed your hand before leading you off the dance floor, “could I get you another drink, my love?” He questioned, “yeah, sure. I’ll be over there I just have to go to the bathroom quick.” He nodded and the two of you went your separate ways.

Aria smirked at her friends as the first part of her plan had come. She slyly walked off to the fruit punch table and stood in front of it waiting for James to walk up. “Hi James.” She said suspiciously sweet, he only rolled his eyes and scoffed, “what do you want? Can you move, please?” Aria gave a fake pout, “what? All I did was say hi.” She said innocently, “oh did you want some punch? I’ll get them for you.” She turned and grabbed two cups, “two right? One for you and one for your little girlfriend?” James had his arms crossed and stood impatiently, looking away from her, “yup.” Aria giggled and poured the first one, “here’s yours” she smiled before turning to pour the other. James took a sip of the drink while he waited.

A few moments later, you finished touching up your make up after washing your hands in the bathroom and walked out towards the punch table but you stopped in your tracks. There, in front of the punch table was Aria who had forcefully pulled James into an unexpected kiss. Your heart shattered at the sight. You made eye contact with James who had a shocked and angry expression that you couldn’t see. Your eyes welled up with tears before you ran out of the ballroom. James pushed Aria off him, “get off of me! What the hell, Aria?” He scolded before shoving the punch into her hands and ran after you. She watched him run after you with a smirk taking a sip in satisfaction.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You came bursting into your room as you cried, slipping off your heels and taking the accessories out of your hair and throwing them onto the vanity followed by your earrings and necklace. You ripped the corsage off your wrist and threw it into the trash can beside you. You studied yourself in the mirror, hating yourself for deciding to wear a gown only to surprise the one you thought loved you most only for them to humiliate you and look like a fool. You went and sat down on your bed as you cried into your hands. James came into the dorm in a panic causing you to jump, “Love, I can explain!” You furrowed your eyebrows in anger while looking at him in disgust, “no! I don’t want to hear it, James!”

“No, no, no, really darling! It wasn’t what it looked-“ you got up from the bed, “Oh yeah? Cause it looked like my boyfriend was kissing his ex girlfriend by the punch table!”

“Well yes but-“

“Do you still have feelings for her, James?” You yelled as you walked closer, “were you only using me to get back at her? Did you even love me?!” He was stuttering as he tried to answer every question you threw at him, “what? No! Of course I do!” He tried but you continued to yell at him, causing him to get angry and the screaming match began. It never ever got this bad before. If the dance wasn’t still going on, everyone would for sure be able to hear every insulting and harsh words you were throwing at each other. There were hot tears streaming down your faces as you continued. But as bad as it was, and as much as you wanted to, neither of you had the willpower to officially call the relationship off. You loved each other too much to do so and you both knew that.

You took the flowers he gave you earlier off your desk and harshly shoved them into his chest, “Get out! I don’t want you here! Leave!” You pushed him out the door and slammed it in his face. You took a deep breath and turned around, and started towards your bed. You didn’t know what to think or how to feel. You knew what he was saying made sense and knew he loved you far too much to ever do something to hurt you. But you don’t know why you kept going at him.

You sat down and stared down at the floor, your mind so lost in deep thought that you didn’t even realize you had changed out of your dress and into your pyjamas. You looked down at the shirt you’d just finished putting on and sighed, it was his shirt. You shut your lamp off and lied down on your bed and stared up at the ceiling as the thoughts in your head continued to flow. Why was he with Aria in the first place for that to happen? He shouldn’t have let that happen. But after a while you felt really bad for what you had said to him and the names you called him. But was he mad at you now too? You heard something that was slid under the crack of your door, you sat up and looked at the little piece of paper that was on the floor. You turned your lamp back on and slowly walked over and picked it up. You opened the paper, “My Beautiful Darling Y/n, no matter how much we fight, the love I have for you will never fade. You will never be unloved by me for you are far too well tangled in my soul. The only feeling stronger than my love for you is the ache that comes with missing you. I’m so very sorry I let this happen, My Love.” You wiped a tear from your cheek as you finished reading. You set the note down on your nightstand and lied back down on your bed.

You tried to fall asleep but you just couldn’t. You missed the feeling of being secured and safe in his arms while he whispered sweet nothings as you drifted off to sleep. Your bed felt cold. Lonely.

After a few more minutes of attempting to force yourself to sleep, you got up and crept out of your room and down the stairs and proceeded down another long hallway before stopping in front of an all too familiar door. You stared at it, contemplating whether or not it was a good idea. But before you could make a decision, you were already making your way inside the dark room. You quietly walked towards the bed, softly and carefully getting under the covers making sure not to wake him. The warmth and familiarity of his body heat made you feel at ease. You looked over at his sleeping figure who was facing towards you and traced his features with your eyes, admiring everything about him and couldn’t help but smile. You really did love this boy with all your heart.

You turned away from him and sighed before closing your eyes to sleep, but just as you were drifting off, you felt an arm snake around your figure, pulling you close. You smiled and melted into his body as you felt the warmth of him engulf your backside, placing your hand on top of his that was placed above your stomach under your shirt. Well, his shirt. He pulled you closer and you felt him softly stroking your hair. Though it has only been a few hours since you’ve felt his touch, it felt like forever. You turned in his arms to face him and wrapped your arms around him scrunching the fabric of his shirt tightly in your hands while burying your face deep into his chest, he had managed to somehow pull you closer though it was physically impossible already.

“I’m sorry.” He heard your soft voice cry, muffled from being buried in his chest. He shook his head and stroked your head, “shh, no, no, no. Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong, my love.” You let out a quiet sob which was terribly agonizing for him to hear. He looked down and placed his hand on your cheek, bringing your gaze up to his. You looked into his eyes with a pitiful gaze, he saw how broken you looked. The moonlight that seeped in through the window above his bed glistening off your tearful eyes. “Don’t cry, love..” he tried but you rambled on, spilling everything your heart was feeling at that moment causing the pieces of his already broken heart shatter into a million more pieces. He stared at you not knowing what to say after you were done, only pulling you into a deep kiss, more passionate than ever letting his body do the talking without saying any words, pulling your waist close to his. He left sloppy kisses down to your neck, lightly gracing the sensitive skin with his teeth making you gasp in pleasure and gently pull at his hair before he continued to leave his mark with a smile while telling you how beautiful you were and how much he loved you.

This continued until both your neck and chest were covered with love bites. He trailed kisses back up and kissed you once more. He broke the kiss, breathing heavily while looking into your lustful, heavy lidded eyes that were threatening to shut and noticed as your breathing slowed. He pulled you back in and you cuddled back into his chest, “I love you.” You whispered, trailing off as you began to fall into a deep, well needed slumber.

“I love you too, Darling.” He whispered, leaving a delicate kiss on your forehead and rested his head on yours as you both drifted off to sleep.

[eureka-its-zico]

Chaos in Their Bones Ch. 5

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: All your life you’d listened to your friend, Usopp spin wild tales about pirates and adventure. Pirates weren’t a thing that came often to Syrup Village, but one straw hat pirate and his crew changed all that the day they arrived. Now, you aren’t so sure if your sleepy little village was always pirate-free or if no one had been paying attention.  

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, frenemies to lovers, slow burn (I hope y’all like aching) eventual smut

Words: 15.7+

A/N:  This chapter got waaaaaay ahead of me. It got longer and longer without me realizing it. So, I apologize for the length in advance and if this isn't any good. In the anime, Nami has some wild outfits and I wanted to sort of bring that to this adaptation a little. Nothing too crazy, but still Nami anime-esque. Also, don’t shoot me but I had a little creative liberty with something in here it’s not canon so yeaaaaaa…please just indulge me for the story lol. Also, this has another Zoro POV, and from here on out things will be very angsty, because I am the proclaimed mayor of Angstville, courtesy of @chans-room and it is my duty to bring a little to the next few chapters.  As always, thank you, guys, for all the love and support. For always being so kind and loving it as much as you do. I hope you all continue to enjoy this story🖤 Much Love, Jenn

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Previous Next

“Hey Nami?” 

You hoped the widespread dread you were beginning to feel wasn’t that apparent in your tone as you spoke. You did one last check in the mirror before turning to her reply of, “Hmmm?”

“Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but-“

“But?”

God, she looked amused. 

“Is this supposed to be so…short?”

There was no denying Nami liked clothes. Gold. Berry. Okay, so Nami likes shiny things and things that could also buy her the shiny things. She also seemed to have a flair for fashion. Unfortunately, that fashion was intended to be worn on someone with a bit more confidence than you had. For once, you’d wished you’d paid attention to other things outside of just the components of what made up a plant. 

“You don’t like what I picked.” 

“It’s not that I don’t like it,” you stuttered out. “But this skirt is definitely…short.”

In one smooth move, Nami uncrossed her legs and got up from her seat. When she reached you, her hands grabbed your shoulders and gently turned you back to the mirror. Your reflections showed one woman questioning her whole existence because of a skirt with a corset style top, and one who looked confident in everything she did. 

This time you were definitely not the latter. 

“You look hot.” 

“I look ridiculous and I’m afraid to bend over.”

Nami rolled her eyes so hard for a split second all that you saw was white. The hands that were on your shoulders now forcing you to turn from your reflected look of terror to her. Nami’s eyes shown bright with a determination to make you confident in walking out of her room and heading into the restaurant. 

“Doc, do we need to do an affirmation together.” 

“Absolutely not.”

“Then I need you to shake off whatever thoughts you’re having and realize that you are hot. Be confident in your own body.” 

To send her words home, Nami clapped her hands against your shoulders and gave them one last shake before releasing you. You weren’t sure what to do or say after that so you just stood…staring back at her. 

“Are you going to blink?”

“Sorry,” you hummed, shaking your head. “I was still trying to understand why you get a whole shirt and I get this.”

While her pink and tan outfit was tight and showed a good amount, her small eyelet cut out on her shirt barely showed, if any, cleavage. You felt like a bakery with the amount of buns you were selling.  

There was that eye roll again. 

“Oh my god,” she muttered under her breath. “You are impossible.”

Nami appeared to be tired of trying and turned on her heel to go over to a drawer. You weren’t sure what she was doing - or grabbing - but instead of watching her, you found your eyes drifting back to the mirror. You didn’t look bad just…different. You weren’t used to looking hot, as Nami put it but also so exposed. You reached over and grabbed your satchel and placed it over your shoulder, using it like a security blanket. All it did was make you feel more exposed than before, like a fraud wearing your face but dressed as someone more confident than you’d felt. 

The sound of a drawer shutting hard brought you out of your thoughts and back into the present. It didn’t keep your hands from wringing the strap on your satchel. 

Fuck it

“Hey, Nami do you think-“

“Zoro is going to like it? Yeah. I think he won’t be able to keep his eyes off you.”

You felt like the air had been stripped from your lungs. Your eyes no doubt were large and showing your surprise as you struggled to make words formulate on your tongue.

“Okay, that wasn’t what I was going to ask.”

“It wasn’t?” She teased. 

“You know damn well I was going to ask something else.”

Why does she look so smug? 

No. You were not frowning. 

“Okay, then tell me: what were you going to ask?”

“I suddenly can no longer recall.”

Nami’s smile was joined seconds later with laughter that followed behind you as you tried to make your escape. The sound of very happy feet following closely behind at your heels. You were tempted to look back just to see if she was skipping, but her next teasing words sent you up the stairs two at a time. 

“Sure you don’t.”

“You can’t prove it,” you shot back just as you cleared the stairs. 

The sun was a welcome warmth on your skin after days of being covered in the mist of the fog. The sounds of happy banter between Usopp and Luffy sent you walking towards the main belly of the ship. You could see Usopp dressed in a pirate hat, a leather jacket sans the shirt, and matching pants. A pair of circle sunglasses adorned his face and you had to admit he looked pretty cool. Luffy just made you want to reach over and gently pinch his cheeks.

How is anyone supposed to take him seriously…

He was wearing overalls, for Christ sakes. Luffy looked absolutely adorable. 

At the sound of your approach the guys turned towards you and the reaction you received made you want to throttle Nami. Luffy’s smile faltered ever slightly and Usopp wouldn’t even look you in the eye. 

“Hey Doc, you look-ugh different.”

“Gee, thanks Usopp,” you grumbled. 

“Are you guys done playing dress up so we can get a drink?”

Of course he was more interested in a drink than food. Of course, Zoro sounded like his usual grumpy self, as well. The problem? He didn’t look like his usual grumpy self. 

While Zoro had been wearing t-shirts and jeans - things that looked comfy and regular the past few days - it was replaced with something dangerous. The hue of his kimono style shirt was a blue so deep it could’ve come from the ocean itself. 

The most dangerous part about the shirt wasn’t just that it left a devilish window of skin on his chest available to torment your eyes. It was that same v-shaped window indicated the indent of a sculpted chest and collarbones, but the fabric at his arms hugged the muscles tight. The same strong arms you’d watch do repeated reps with weights and push-ups. Muscles that moved with ease under the skin as he skillfully practiced with his swords.

The dangerous part, after all of this, was that it mimicked a gi. The fabric folded over each other telling you that it would only take a slight tug from your hand to release the tucked material from his pants, from the safety of his sashed belt to leave his chest exposed to your hands and-

God, focus on something else. 

But you couldn’t focus on anything else. How could you with the way he was looking at you? 

Zoro’s eyes scanned over your body and every inch his gaze lingered caused your skin to flush. You fought the urge to fidget with the strap of your satchel but couldn’t stop your teeth from pulling in your bottom lip. Zoro’s eyes caught the movement and honed in on it. Your breath hitched in your throat and you could’ve sworn Zoro noticed that too. 

You were supposed to dislike him. He was an asshole. A drunk. A pain in the ass with a smart mouth. God, it didn’t stop you from wanting him so bad your body ached. From the way he was watching you, you could’ve sworn maybe it felt the same for him. It was a nice thought until he opened his mouth. 

“You’re going to wear that?”

And just like that, whatever witchcraft was in the air to make you think of doing anything other than annoying the shit out of him was gone. 

“I think she looks good.”

Nami came to stand beside you and tore Zoro’s eyes from you to her. 

“Yeah she does,” Usopp agreed from behind you, “but Naan would have a fit if she saw you dressed like this.”

A groan exhaled from your lips as you turned and started for the ramp. No, you were not stomping your feet. You just needed to get off this damn boat and away from all the idiot men aboard. 

“Good thing Naan isn’t here, then,” you huffed. 

You could practically feel Usopp shrug his shoulders, his hands up in question as he yelled after you, “I was just being honest. Naan would tell her it wasn’t practical.” 

You weren’t sure who he said the last part too and you didn’t care. You were already stepping over the side of the Merry and heading towards the ramp when you felt a presence behind you. You expected it to be Nami and what you got was the shock of seeing Moss colored hair and the glint of three gold earrings. 

“What are you doing?”

“I’m walking. What does it look like?” 

But why must you do it next to me?

The question hung on the back of your tongue. You weren’t brave enough to ask it, because you could already hear the question of, “Why?”. Why did it matter if Zoro chose to walk beside, in front, or behind you? It shouldn’t matter what he chose to do, but it did matter because the way he looked at you just now was forever burned into your frontal lobe.

“Just this once you couldn’t just leave the swords on the ship?”

“Wherever I go the Wado Ichimonji goes.”

Of course it does

You expected him to do his usual of falling back to stand with Luffy. It’s what he usually did. Today was apparently shaping up to be an unusual one. Not only did he not stop walking with you, he continued to follow close behind you as you entered into the Baratie. His presence was hard to miss since when you stopped inside the foray of the restaurant Zoro was mere inches from your back. 

“Must you stand so damn close to me?” 

Each word was uttered through clenched teeth. You didn’t want to turn around and look at him. You didn’t need eyes in the back of your head to know if you did you would come fast first to the exposed skin of his chest. 

“Why’d you bring your satchel in here? Are you worried someone is going to stub their toe?”

“Can you for two seconds-“

The words had come out as a growl. Your skin bristled with a heated irritation to rip into him, and tell him that he was being his infamous asshole self. Cool points went to you for not completely falling apart when you caught sight of him. 

Zoro was too damn close looking how he looked with his chest exposed like that. His hands in their rightful place of one in his pocket and the other resting casually on his sword. The darkness of his eyes appeared so endless you were certain the moon could call them home. Maybe she already had and that’s why they sparked to life every time he looked at you. 

Just like now. 

One minute, Zoro’s face held its usual emotionless stare and the next you watched as his eyes lit up like fireworks in the night sky; celebrating an event you once again missed. A soft tug on the corner of his lip lifted just enough you could’ve called it a smirk. 

When did he start looking at you like this?

That wasn’t even the biggest question. The biggest question was, when did you start to fall for it? 

You felt your tongue involuntarily flick out to wet your suddenly dry lips, and to your horror Zoro’s eyes lazily watched the movement. He didn’t even try to hide it. 

Oh god, you should’ve stayed on the boat.

You watched Nami come through the double doors entrance and the way her face lit up as her eyes roamed between the both of you instantly sent your eyes rolling. You were never going to hear the end of this. You let out a deep breath, your eyes scanning one last time in his direction, before you walked over to join Nami. 

The Baratie was a thing of beauty. You’d never seen a building like it. While the outside was made of boards of broken down ships in the style of an actual fish, red siding and white ashwood for those fishy lips, the inside was a well thought out piece of beauty. The foray split open to a staircase of cherry wood that led down to a tiled floor of checkered black and white. It should’ve looked ridiculous, but only the center was made with these tiles. The rest was made with the continued us of the cherry wood that led up to an intricate painting on the ceiling. Sections of the fish's belly were carved out into long booths that looked like they could comfortably seat a party of eight. 

Also, the smell of the food was making you almost willing to grovel to get a plate because there was no way- 

“Welcome to Baratie. How may I help you?”

The fishman was polite enough with his semi-warm smile. It was the smile of a man forced to be approachable and nice all day, and not one that he meant. 

“Hi. Where do we eat?”

Luffy’s smile on the other hand could make a rainbow weep. 

“Do you have a reservation, sir?”

Yup. There was no way you guys could afford a place like this or apparently even have the chance to get in. You could feel your shoulders deflate as you walked over to the railing and leaned your arms against it. All the people dining - all the pirates - didn’t appear the least bit phased at your staring. Luffy pressed himself shoulder-to-shoulder with you with the two of you taking in the fancy scene before you. 

To be fair, with food like what they were being served you wouldn’t care who watched you stuff your face either. 

“Do we need one?” 

Your forehead had already relocated itself to the cool wood of the rail. Your knees meeting the metal as you tried not to laugh at how cluelessly innocent Luffy was. 

“We are very full today. I could put you on the waiting list. It’s three weeks out.” 

“Maybe you want to check your book again.” Usopp walked forward, as confident as ever, and leaned himself against the hostess podium. You were expecting one of his smooth stories and instead wanted to throw yourself over the side of the railing as he finished. “You wouldn’t want to turn away the future King of the Pirates, would you?”

“And who is that supposed to be, sir?”

“Monkey D. Luffy. Perhaps you’ve heard of him?”

Based on the heavy sigh that came from the hostess you could tell his patience was wearing thin. So was his pleasantness. 

“Well, in that case, I suppose we could find you a table. In three weeks.”

Usopp came to stand beside you with a smile as big as the ocean blue on his face. He was so proud, like he’d accomplished something major. Usopp had both the ability to create bullshit from thin air, and the ability to believe others would believe what he said without question. That’s why he was giving you the finger gun of celebration without noticing the look on the hostess face - or the mumbled words. 

“Even out here, Doc I still got it.”

“Yeah, I can see that.”

You noticed Nami move forward as Luffy conjoined himself to your other available side. You were now perfectly sandwiched between your Captain and your best friend. Both of them jumping in giddy excitement at the idea of sitting down at any minute and eating. 

“What are you going to eat, Doc?”

“I hadn’t thought about it, yet. I didn’t think we’d get past the front door.”

“Why is that?”

“She’s always been a little cynical ever since we were kids.”

You balked at Usopp’s admission and if you could’ve scoffed any louder it would’ve turned into a cough. 

“I am not cynical!”

“You are literally one of the most cynical people I’ve ever met.”

“That’s because I’m one of the few people you’ve ever met who still talks to you,” you grumbled. 

“See? That cynicism is turning its ugly little head right now. It’s okay, Doc. I forgive you.”

Your mouth was open, a reply stationed on your tongue, when you heard something shocking behind you. The hostess was advising Nami to follow after him and when you glanced at her as she smiled at Zoro, you wondered what had been said. All it took was for Usopp to see him beckoning for them to follow for his ego to be boosted. His hands clapping happily against yours and Luffy’s shoulders as he giggled out, “See, I told you it would work.” 

You peeled yourself from the railing and headed to follow the rest of the crew when, once again, you realized Zoro was waiting at the stairs edge. He wasn’t looking at you while he waited, however, for his eyes were glued to the many possibilities of would be threats in the room. 

As soon as your feet touched down on the burgundy runner that ran the length of the stairs Zoro followed after. It wasn’t like the last time when you could feel him practically right on your heels. A switch had turned on in his head and Zoro was on high alert. 

Luffy took the last step in a loud double-footed jump that finally brought the attention of most of the tables to your descent. While up top, looking down from the foray, the space in the booth’s had looked massive. It still was, but a startling realization that you could end up next to Zoro left you scrambling for some space. 

“I have to pee.”

You’d just gotten to the tables edge and it felt like the only thing to say to save yourself. Everyone froze for all of a few seconds before they continued scooting into the booth. 

“Okay, Doc. Go to the bathroom,” Nami stated. 

She looked so relaxed that you felt incredibly jealous. You wish you could be that cool, calm, and collected all the time. Except, obviously, when Luffy was testing her patience. 

You turned to ask the host where it could be located when the sound of Zoro’s swords thrashing around turned your head in his direction. For a split second, he looked a little flushed. His eyes scanning the room to see if anyone had watched him try and fail, very badly, at getting his swords to go inside the booth. 

“Just take them off,” you huffed at him in passing. 

“I’ve got this.”

Zoro’s eyes were still trained on the room, on every pair of eyes that dared to stare back, as he moved to the other side with Nami. Even then you watched him struggle to move his swords into the alcove between the pillar and the seat. 

“If you still need to use the facilities Miss, they will be right this way.” 

You gave the table with Luffy and your crew mates one last look before you followed the host closely to the safety behind a locked door. 

Did locking the door seem a bit much when there were four available stalls inside? Yes. When you say you needed to hear that click to signify that you were completely alone to ease some of the growing tension in your shoulders, you meant it. 

You rushed over to the sink and found your hands grabbing at the porcelain to help center yourself. Your head was dizzy from the mental whiplash that seemed to be your relationship with Zoro. One minute, you couldn’t stand him and he seemed equally annoyed with your very existence. The next, he was helping you with your sea sickness or inadvertently doing things around the ship to make your life a little easier. Now, he was looking at you differently. Zoro was acting strange, but honestly, when wasn’t he? 

You glanced up at your reflection in the mirror. The words falling automatically from your lips. 

“So are you.” 

It wasn’t all him. It never was. Cause and effect. One couldn’t exist without the other, and maybe that was why you felt the way you did gazing at your reflection. You’d been trying to deny the gravitational pull that you were hopelessly fighting against ever since you met him. Before you’d ever seen his face your soul seemed to say, “Oh, there you are.” 

It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t scientific and yet here you were locked inside of a bathroom all because the thought of sitting next to him made your heart feel like it would try and flee your chest. 

You allowed yourself a couple more minutes to boost yourself back up. You could do this. It was just a guy. A guy who’d tucked a flower behind your ear and looked at you like you’d both strung up the stars and drank the last bottle of his rum. 

A knock on the bathroom door brought you crashing back to reality. You quickly moved over to the door to release the latch. You’d barely had any time to move back before a woman came barreling through looking not too pleased with you locking the door. You mouthed a, “sorry,” in a way of apology before you made yourself scarce and walked back out to the table. 

The minute you stepped back into the main dining room you got the sense you’d missed something. Your eyes searched over the tables. You found a pair of shoes that belonged to a pair of legs that was attached to a man lying lifelessly still on the floor. 

Yup. You’d most definitely missed something. 

The doctor in you immediately wanted to go to the man and make sure he wasn’t dead. You could practically feel your toes point in the direction for the rest of your body to follow. You just weren’t sure if it was something you should do in a room full of pirates. Plus, no one else seemed particularly worried that he wasn’t breathing so that should be good enough for you. 

You were bouncing on your feet. You wanted to go check so badly. It almost happened to where you were going to say fuck it and just go check when you noticed your waiter at your table. He was tall, strong build set inside a stylish suit with stark white hair that appeared to reach his cheeks. He didn’t look happy to be there until his eyes spotted Nami and a smile as smooth as sin slid across his face. 

He is handsome. 

Nami looked unimpressed and a part of you was dying to know what the hell was happening. Luckily for you, you were about to find out. 

As you approached the table Zoro’s eyes that had narrowed in on their waiter flicked to your oncoming approach and…did he look worried? The annoyance that had hardened his eyes noticeably softened, his back sitting up straighter in his seat while he continued to watch you come to the table. He had his arms crossed over his chest and you wanted to scream. Everything was flexing at you and it just felt like the universe was incredibly unfair. 

“Sorry guys. Uhm have you guys noticed the ugh guy just laying there on the floor” you stated. 

You were looking. Again. 

You were standing next to the waiter who turned to greet you, his hands tucked in his pockets - fuckin great another one. The smile had wilted at the edges until his eyes fell on you and instantly he flashed a set of pretty teeth. 

“They’re alright, madam. Just a couple of men who needed to be reminded of the rules of the house. My name is Sanji and I’ll be your waiter for this evening. Is there anything that I can get you to start? Appetizers? A drink, perhaps?”

Sanji was incredibly polite and his accent was as smooth as the rest of him. His eyes were impossibly blue. While Nami’s appeared almost gray at times, especially when she became upset and the color darkened like storm clouds, Sanji’s reminded you of azure aster’s in the spring. 

“What is the strongest thing you have?”

You really could use that drink. You were in the middle of taking your satchel from across your body, eyes scoping to see where you would sit, when Sanji’s reply stopped you died in your tracks.

“That would be me, sweetheart.”

Did he just wink at you? 

“What’s wrong with your face?”

“I think he just does that.” Nami cut in sending your eyes to travel to where she sat inside the booth. “It’s like an involuntary tick or something.”

“Oh. Explains a lot.”

You knew Sanji could tell you were both taking the piss out of him, but there was no denying he was a good sport about it. 

“Not a tick. Just a show of appreciation for two lovely ladies, such as yourselves.” 

“Okay. I’ve heard enough.” 

A soft yelp of surprise came from you as you felt a soft, yet calloused hand grab at your wrist and, not so gently, pull you to their side. Zoro’s side. He had just magically removed himself from the booth and was pulling you to the now open section. The section that would put you next to Nami, but also him. 

“Oy, women don’t like to be manhandled like that,” Sanji interjected. 

“This one likes to be manhandled quite often. We don’t need your concern.”

Usopp’s water sprayed across the table and you were willing to bet that would’ve been your very own reaction if you didn’t have a mouthful of words. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” You blanched back at him. 

Zoro’s attention wasn’t directed at you. He and the waiter seemed to be in a battle of…something. Even as he sat back down, his legs spread broad and arms crossed back over his chest, Zoro oozed two simple words: “Try me.”

“See, that’s your problem right there. Women don’t like to be manhandled-“

“Sometimes we do,” Nami mumbled and you had to hide your smirk with your hand.

“They like to be treated like queen’s and with respect.”

“I thought a waiter’s job was to bring food to the table. I don’t see any food.” 

The tension that rose around you was palpable. The two of them acted like they were caught in a verbal pissing match. Nervously, you glanced around the table to find Usopp playing with his napkin while peeking out to look at both the men. Luffy just looked genuinely lost. 

Same. 

You imagined there was a chance you would never get that drink, or any food, with how this evening was turning out. Finally, with an irritated roll of his tongue along his jaw Sanji turned to the rest of the table and tried to apply that same easy going smile as before. 

“I’ll be right back with your order. Please let me know if there is anything else I can get you ladies.” 

“They’re fine.” 

With one last glance in Zoro’s direction Sanji left and headed back into what you assumed must be the kitchen. When you were sure he was gone you turned and smacked Zoro in his arm. He didn’t even look phased. 

“What?”

“‘What?’” You mimicked back at him. That earned you a stare. “What in the hell was that?”

“Seems to me like somebody was jealous.”

Usopp teased and for once when Zoro’s eyes narrowed in on him, Usopp didn’t even flinch. 

“I’m not jealous of a waiter.”

“Your actions say otherwise,” Nami reminded him. 

In usual Zoro fashion he didn’t respond right away. His arms tightened a little more on his chest as he situated his back higher against the back of the booth. His jaw ticking like a time bomb refusing to respond to any of your prodding. 

You wanted answers. You wanted him to explain what the hell that was all about, because your skin was still burning where his hand had latched on to you. It felt possessive; a man reaching out to claim something that was his. 

The world around you might as well have gone by in a blur. You knew at some point the drinks and food had been deposited on the table. You could smell the delicious food sitting in front of you; the appetizers everyone was sharing around the table. The only thing you were able to focus on was tracing the place of where his fingers had wrapped around your wrist. Your mind felt like it was held prisoner, unable to let go and it wasn’t until you felt someone’s presence leaning closer to you in the booth that you finally broke free.

“Are you not going to eat?” 

Nami’s question whispered against your neck and you had to fight to suppress the shiver that threatened to move down your spine. When had she gotten so close? Nami was looking at you like you’d given her reason to worry. 

How long had you been sitting there staring off into space? Your eyes drifted to glance around the table - Luffy noticeably with his mouth full - and the drink sitting in front of you. 

“Oh, thank god. Booze,” you mumbled, as you reached out to take the glass. 

It took you less than a minute to bring the rim to your lips and down it in two very audible gulps. You tried not to make a face as the liquor hit the back of your throat. When you’d told Sanji you wanted something strong, he’d delivered. 

“Well, at least you did something other than stare off into space.”

“You know, it might not be any of my business-“

“I don’t think a sentence started that way leads to anything good.”

Usopp didn’t seem the least bit deterred by Zoro’s words. He continued to trim a piece of the meat off his steak while he glanced around the table. While you didn’t know what it was Usopp was about to say or ask, you knew one thing was for sure. You needed more- 

“Beer! Yes!”

God, help you, but you were giggling from excitement of finding more alcohol. Just as you reached out to grab it, Zoro’s voice came bombarding through your good time. 

“That’s mine.”

You were sure Zoro was expecting you to set the bottle back down. To not uncap the top and stare him down as you bring the bottle up to your lips and take a long, slow pull. When you finished you set your now claimed beer down in front of you.

“It was yours.”

“I was wondering, Zoro, how you got that bruise on your face?”

Usopp motioned to the exact spot where the bruise in question used to be with the hand that held his steak knife. You cringed at the idea of him hurting himself, and could feel the words of caution bubbling up on your tongue. 

“I don’t have a bruise.”

“You did, though,” Luffy offered up in between his next bit. “It was on your left cheek.” 

“That was me.”

Why were you raising your hand? Quickly, you set it back down in your lap. The smile that spread across your lips, however, stayed. 

“Doc, let’s not go around telling tall-tales, okay,” Usopp chuckled. 

“Usopp, you are the king of tall-tales. Mine is very much real,” you beamed. 

Nami looked between the two of you. Her eyes got brighter with each passing second as she realized you weren’t lying. 

“Oh my god,” she chuckled. “It is true, isn’t it.” 

“Yup.”

You popped the p at the end for dramatic effect. Your hand grabbing a hold of your new bottle of beer that you quickly took a sip of. 

“You seem way too happy about this,” Zoro grumbled, his food now forgotten. 

You couldn’t deny you were enjoying retelling this moment. The way everyone else acted, it’s as if you’d taken on a giant and everyone was surprised you’d survived. If that was the case, you would have to take a page out of Usopp’s book and embellish the story just a little. 

“So, there I was racing back to get to Kaya’s to save you guys, when I heard a lot of strange grunting coming from the well.” 

“The one you hate?” 

“Yes, Usopp, that exact one. I was going to pass by when the sounds got even worse - someone was indeed stuck inside the well. When I went over to peer across the ledge a wild Moss-haired idiot appeared from the side.”

“I’m going to have to object to this retelling.”

You waved Zoro’s words off and fought the urge to shush him. 

“No interruptions, please. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah the Moss-haired idiot who came over the side-“

“And instead of helping me this psycho decided to punch me and almost send me back down the well.”

“Psycho?” You balked.

“Yeah, a psycho. What kind of person sees someone struggling to get out of a well and, instead of helping them, tries to send them back down?”

“Why are you guys always like this,” Nami cut in.

“Like what?”

“You guys act like you can’t say one nice thing to each other or it’s going to be the end of the world.”

“I can too say something nice.”

You were not going to pout. Nami’s brows raised upwards like you’d told her there was no such thing as the West Blue and that fish could fly. You crossed your arms to try and ward her off, but there was no getting away from it. 

“Can I just say, this food is so good? I don’t know if I can take another bite - but I’m gonna.”

You allowed them to comment about the food. The food you still hadn’t tried. While you’d sat in silence, stewing over thoughts filled with questions and not enough answers everyone had eaten. 

“Oh, man you said it.” 

“I’m not going to be able to eat for a week,” Nami agreed. 

“Should we get dessert?”

“I have all I need right here,” Zoro stated, his thumb flicking the top off his beer before he took a drink. 

You could feel a smart ass remark sitting in the back of your throat. You wanted to say it - to see that flash of irritation darken his eyes. You liked the idea of getting under his skin, because whether you wanted to admit it or not, Zoro was definitely under yours. Maybe it would’ve been simpler if you’d stayed at Syrup Village. 

“Mmm! That reminds me. We should make a toast! Everyone grab your glasses. To the best crew sailing on the sea and to our victory. Yeah!”

Luffy grabbed his glass of milk and held it up. His happiness is enough to get most of you to join him in raising a glass. Hell, it was enough to get Usopp to clink his beer against Luffy’s milk. 

Beside you, Zoro smiled and took a drink from his bottle and you never wanted to be an alcoholic beverage more in your life. You needed to get out of this booth. You seriously needed to go back to the ship and think about your life choices. 

“No, I’m sorry. What victory exactly?”

Nami didn’t try to make her tone flat or hide the question off her face. She was genuinely perplexed, while the rest of you were eager for any reason just to drink. 

“Our victory against the marines. It was our very first battle and we crushed them.”

“I don’t know how many naval battles you guys have been a part of-“

“Two dozen, at least.”

Why did Usopp’s response not surprise you in the slightest. 

“But that was a disaster,” Nami continued without missing a beat. “We were unprepared, uncoordinated. By all rights, we should be at the bottom of the sea.”

“We’re not though. Luffy saved us.”

For a split second, this Nami you were seeing was different from the one you’d spent the last few days aboard the Merry. Sure, at times she could have a prickly exterior, but never like this. Usopp defending Luffy triggered something inside her - something rage-filled and dangerous. Something born from desperation. 

“Are we really going to ignore the elephant in the room right now?”

Luffy was smiling like he usually did. Unable to follow wherever Nami was leading you all, but you could sense it. You weren’t sure what drove you to try and play peacekeeper. Why you spoke her name softly between you and tried to reach out to her, only for her to pull away like you’d stung her. 

“You failed to mention that your grandfather was a marine. And not just any marine, but a Vice-Admiral, at that! I don’t know about you three, but I didn’t sign up for that.”

Zoro had been listening to her through closed eyes. You weren’t sure if he was truly trying to listen or dismiss what she had to say, but it surprised you when he stepped in. His first instinct was to stick up for Luffy, something you hadn’t been expecting. 

“You raided a marine base. Of course that’ll make you a target.” 

“I’m sorry what?”

If you had been drinking or eating, you would’ve choked. Neither of them seemed to pay you any mind. 

“If I stole the map, no one would’ve known I was there, as opposed to wrecking a base commander’s office.” 

Yes, you could vaguely recall Luffy’s speech to Kaya about all the marvelous things they’d done in the few days they’d known each other. Did you necessarily believe him at the time? Not really. But now…

Before a fresh wave of thoughts could wash up in your brain, Sanji magically appeared placing the bill on the table. 

“Your bill, sir.”

Luffy looked around at all of you, a soft smile playing at his lips, as he held up his finger for all of you to wait. He quickly signed the receipt and handed it back. 

“Thank you, my good man.”

Sanji took the bill back, his eyebrow quirked up as he read whatever Luffy had signed at the bottom. Whatever it was sent a grin wider than the East Blue to brighten up his face. 

“No, sir. Thank you.”

Luffy waited for Sanji to leave the table before he looked back at you all. For once, he wasn’t all smiles. All that care-free energy was contained and replaced with a seriousness you weren’t sure you liked. 

“Look, I’m not saying it’s good that the Marines are on our tail, but we showed them that they can’t just roll over us. This crew, our crew, can handle anything.”

It would’ve been a riveting Captain's speech if it wasn’t interrupted the second he finished speaking. 

“Who the hell is Monkey D. Luffy?”

The voice that rang across the Baratie was thick with age. You didn’t have to look far to know it belonged to the older gentleman who stood at the entrance to what you could only assume was the kitchen. His peg leg made clunking noises off the tile as he made his way towards the table. 

How did he know where to go? Luffy was just leaning out the side of the booth waving ever so-slightly with his smile back on his face. “Here.”

“You seem to be confused about the rules of the house, but Baratie doesn’t offer credit. You eat, you pay.”

How much is the food? 

You only had thirty-three Berry to your name. You started to reach inside your bag when Luffy waved you to stop. The older Chef looked from you and back to Luffy who placed his hands together like he was about to pray. 

“I think you’re confused. The meal has already been paid for. I just haven’t given you the money yet.”

“Yeah, and how’s that?”

“You can add it to my treasure tab.”

Your forehead hit the edge of the table so fast you weren’t even sure it actually hurt. 

“And what, pray tell, is that?”

“I may not look like a big deal yet, but you’re talking to the future King of the Pirates. And as soon as I find the One Piece, I’m going to come back, pay this bill in full, and with interest.” 

At least the Chef had the decency to chuckle before he lurched down and grabbed Luffy by the front of his overalls. 

“I got a better idea.” 

You watched as he placed Luffy in front of him with a controlling hand held on to his shoulder. A way to keep him from running, if he tried, but you knew Luffy would go without a fight. You glanced around the table to find no one making a move to follow. 

“You guys are seriously just going to sit here,” you huffed. 

Nami leaned her head back against the booth. Her eyes looking up at the ceiling and refusing to look anywhere else. 

“I need a drink.”

“Yeah,” Zoro chuckled as he grabbed a hold of what was left of his beer. “Now you’re talking.” 

You’d waited until they all removed themselves from the booth before you slipped away. You were sure the three of them wouldn’t miss your presence as you made your way towards the kitchen. It wasn’t until you’d passed the last pillar before the kitchen that you felt the familiar touch of calloused fingers wrap themselves lazily around your wrist. 

The tug you felt this time was softer - a plea for your attention instead of forcing it. You weren’t sure what you expected when you turned around. If Zoro would be his usual unreadable smoothness like stone or if the corner of his eyes would be tinged with annoyance. There were only a few possibilities that you’d grown accustomed to and all of them were nothing of what you got. 

When you turned to meet him, Zoro didn’t look like he usually did. The hardness that kept him unreadable was replaced with something softer. His lips parted as he searched your face with your wrist still held loosely in his hand. 

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to help, Luffy.”

“Luffy, can handle himself.” 

“Zoro-“

You weren’t sure why your tone had come off saying his name as breathy as it did. As if you were both tucked inside the alcove of a church hiding to keep from being caught doing something forbidden. You also couldn’t explain why when he dropped your wrist from his hand you’d chosen to place it on his chest. It wasn’t until you’d done that you realized just how close you both were. 

“I’m not going to leave him to do dishes by himself until he tells me too.” 

“How do you know he’s doing dishes?”

“Why the hell else would he take him into the kitchen?” 

“Good point.”

You removed your hand from his chest and, for a split second, you thought you saw a glint of loss. 

“You guys head to the bar and I’ll meet you there shortly.”

Zoro made no move to leave. He stood there looking every bit as intimidating as a man with three swords could be, while also looking seemingly lost. He appeared to be thinking something over - a debate in his mind about whether or not he should even say whatever was weighing heavily there. 

You almost told him to just spit it out, but he looked like he would rather chew on razor blades than say whatever it was. When Zoro finally got it off his chest it sounded like he’d choked. 

“What about the waiter?”

Confusion clouded your features as you replied, “What about him? Do you need me to find him for you or-“

Zoro waved you off. He looked more awkward now than you’d ever seen him. All the cool confidence that he’d oozed seemingly gone in the blink of an eye, and replaced with a hand behind his neck and eyes that refused to meet yours. 

“No. I mean be careful of the waiter?”

“I’m confused.” That was an understatement. “Is there something I’m missing about this waiter?”

“No - it's - never mind. I’ll just see you when you finish doing whatever it is you plan to do.” 

“Okay.”

“What are you planning to do?”

Your head was metaphorically and literally spinning from the conversation. One second, Zoro looked ready to follow after Usopp and Nami who were no doubt already at a table with drink in hand. The next, he seemed uncharacteristically bashful. 

You didn’t want to smile. What if it ruined the moment? 

“I plan on helping Luffy by helping the Chef.”

“I’m going to pretend that makes sense.”

When you gave him a thumbs up in response you wished lightning would’ve come down and burnt you to a crisp. What made it worse? From the smile that was beginning to work its way at the corners of Zoro’s lips, you could practically hear what he was going to say. 

“You really are masterful with replies.”

“Okay, well, I’m gonna go in there now,” you stated. Your body slowly backed away from him and the heart stopping smile that was only growing wider. 

When did he start smiling at you like that?

You were almost to the swinging double doors when someone came rushing through and collided immediately with your back. The sound of dishes crashing sent your eyes wide and finally tore you away from the swordsman in front of you. 

“Fuck.”

“Oi, what’s going on out here?”

Double fuck. 

You stooped down to help the waiter pick up the pieces of plates that had shattered on the ground and the food right along with it. 

“What the bloody hell is going on ‘ere?”

Looking up from your crouched position on the floor, you were greeted by the same Chef who had pulled Luffy into the back. Without thinking you jolted to stand upright to face him with your hands struggling to keep the pieces of broken plate from dropping. 

“I came to help my Captain in your kitchen.”

As the words left your mouth, so too did a couple pieces of a plate. 

“No.”

It was abrupt. It was harsh and it was final. He didn’t even give you a chance to try and change his mind. The hard sound of his peg leg turning back into the kitchen cutting off whatever your next sentence might have been. 

“Hey! I can help!”

You pushed through the double doors and narrowly missed a cook passing by with a flaming piece of meat sautéing in the pan. You pulled a face and quickly moved away. This time you were watching closely where you were going and playing extra close attention to the fast pace movements happening around you. 

For someone so large, the Chef made his way with ease around the kitchen. You weren’t sure if he was just light on his feet or if everyone in the kitchen just learned to work around him. 

“No.” He sounded like he’d smoked two packs of smokes a day and finished it off by gargling with a cigar. “What you can do is get out of my kitchen before you make more of a mess.”

“Hey Doc!” Luffy waved from his place in the corner. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to help you.”

And to show how helpful you were, you placed the broken pieces of plate down on the table. The old man regarded him momentarily before looking back at you. 

“You’re with him?”

“Yeah I am.”

The old man turned back to Luffy, a large thumb pointed back to you as he spoke, “She broke a couple plates outside. That’s also added to your tab.”

“Oh, okay wait!” You came around the corner of a cutting station, arms still out in front of you like you were warding off a bear. “That’s why I'm here. I have a service I think would benefit you.”

“And what, pray tell, would that be?”

You put on your brightest smile and flared your arms out in front of you like you were a prize to behold. 

“I’m a doctor.” 

You expected a different reaction. A completely different reaction to him looking like he was about to make you fish food. 

“Get out of my kitchen.”

“Did you hear me-“

“I heard you just fine, girl. What I need is for you to get out of my kitchen.” 

The way he called you girl reminded you of Naan. It was the same tone that was used to tell you that you were in the way. You weren’t helping. You were just being a pain in the ass. There were more than a handful of times that you’d told Naan you could help; you knew enough to assist with minor surgeries. To help with childbirth when the women came in hollering and screaming like their body was being broken and molded anew. 

You’d spent your whole life learning how to forage and create and heal. You knew you could help - that you could ease this man’s pain. 

“No.”

When crystal blue eyes honed in on your position you refused to bend. You stared back at him and for the first time ever you squared your own shoulders in defiance. 

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Your stump - I bet it hurts you something awful. The problem with prosthetics is that they still rub the skin - can bruise. What if I tell you that I can make you a salve that can alleviate that for you?”

He’d placed his hands on his hips somehow making him appear broader. He was trying to intimidate you, but he had nothing on a little old lady and her cane. 

“She is really the best doctor in all of the East Blue. If your leg really does hurt you, why not let Doc try and see if it helps?” 

He looked from Luffy and back to you - his eyes showing how undecided he was. You thought you were going to have to try again when he finally replied, “You got one hour before the second dinner. If it isn’t as good as you say I’m doubling what he owes me.”

The joy you felt at winning something was quickly taken from you as you resisted the urge to chase after him. 

“Wait what?!”

The old man wasn’t going to answer you. He was too busy walking away, off to see something about food. You didn’t even get a chance to ask him for a pot or if he had any mortars in his kitchen. You glanced over at Luffy who was giving you two thumbs up and smiling his usual smile. 

At least one of you believed in you. 

You were about to remind him that you were left with nothing to use when the waiter from earlier, Zoro’s best friend, magically appeared. His jacket was now missing and the sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up to expose his forearms. 

“I’m assuming you’re in need of some assistance.”

A breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding released from you in a soft laugh of gratitude. 

“Yes, please! I need a pot and mortar and pestle. If you can direct me where to get them-“

“No, I can get them for you. I live to serve.” 

Sanji spared you one last parting smile before he moved swiftly around the kitchen collecting what you’d asked. Everything else you either already had in your satchel or you could easily run back to the ship to get. Somewhere in the back of your mind, when Sanji came back to hand you your requested items and winked, you swore you could hear Zoro’s teeth grinding in irritation. 

Zeff, as you later learned from Sanji, had given you all of one hour to make your salve. You’d finished in forty minutes. 

The kitchen had been cleared out and empty, which you learned was the usual between the break up in the first, second, and third dinner. It also meant it gave you ample time to look over Zeff’s leg. Not that the old man looked the least bit thrilled about it. 

His rough exterior was making it hard for you not to be a little jumpy. Add in the extra audience of both Luffy and Sanji who seemed to be fascinated just from you removing the old man’s boot a little harder to work. 

The minute you’d removed the wooden prosthetic from his knee you immediately could see the bruising. The hard rashes that bleed across the skin leaving angry marks that almost threatened to make the skin weep. You couldn’t keep the air from hissing between your teeth as you took in a sharp breath. 

You could hear Zeff too. The way he tried to swallow back down a groan that threatened to become something close to a cry of pain. Gently, you set it aside and started getting to work. Your hands pull out clean linen and wrap from your satchel and the green chiterra you’d just harvested. 

You got up from where you sat and poured warm water into a bowl Luffy just cleaned. Immediately, you placed a clean cloth inside until it was completely soaked and rung it out before you gently placed it on his stump. You could hear the whistle of pain flash between his teeth, but you didn’t look to see if he was glaring at you still. You continued to smash up the chiterra until it made a paste. 

Once you knew everything was ready, you gently began to clean the skin; exposing the places where the rash had torn skin. In those areas you placed the chiterra and in the areas where no broken skin showed you deposited the salve. The minty scent enveloped the space and as you began to wrap up Zeff’s leg, you dared to peek at him. 

“What is that smell? Mint?”

“Aloe Vera. It helps with burns and irritations on the skin. I figured it would help soothe your skin. Give you some relief.”

“Hmmm.”

It was a sound you’d grown up with. Naan made the same kind when she was unsure of what to say. When she wasn’t ready to admit you were right or that you’d proven yourself capable. 

“There.” You huffed as you put the prosthetic back on. “Make sure you wash it at least once a day. The salve can be put on two to three times daily. Don’t be scared to be generous with it and-“ you pulled the piece of paper you’d written the measurements and ingredients on. Your fingers waving it back and forth in front of him just to make sure you had his attention. “I’ll give you the recipe if you knock off more than half of what Luffy owes you. Deal?”

“You really think your fancy medicine is worth more than my food?”

“Is it worth more than your comfort? You tell me: how does your leg feel now?”

You tried to hide your growing smile as you could see the battle Zeff was warring on in his head. While he was old and stubborn, you knew relief from pain of any kind was usually the path most took. 

With a heavy sigh, Zeff put his hand out for the paper and you knew you had him. This time you did allow a cheeky smile to celebrate. 

“Your Naan teach you to be a pain in the ass like this too?” 

“Nope. That I’ve learned all on my own.” 

“Sounds about right.”

You leaned back on the stool and watched as Zeff began to get up. The caution his body had grown accustomed too every time he moved was noticeable in his slow movements. 

“I told you she was the best in all of the East Blue.”

Luffy looked so proud. You weren’t sure what you expected, but the amount of pride he radiated was something new to you. Sure, you’d had Naan tell you that you did good but it wasn’t the same. There was something about the way Luffy looked at people - really looked - to the point for the first time you felt seen. 

Luffy didn’t just say he thought you were the best because he was trying to talk you up. He believed in you and what you could do. 

“Yeah, that may be so, but you still owe me some clean dishes.” 

“I’ll get right on it.”

He smacked the top of the chair he’d been sitting in as he got up. He didn’t argue or call for a rest. Luffy simply headed back towards the sink to finish on the load of dishes he’d left as they’d watched you work. The idea of him still slaving away in the space while you were all out there enjoying yourselves didn’t feel right.  

“You should be able to go out with the rest of us and have a drink.”

“I’ll be alright here. You go on ahead and meet the rest of the crew. I’ll be with you guys soon enough.” 

How soon? It didn’t feel right to leave him there. Even worse to bring over dishes you’d gotten dirty for him to wash in the end. 

“At least let me wash these, Luffy.”

He’d opened his mouth to tell - what? To tell you to go again, most likely but you never actually heard him say it. Right when he was about to speak, Sanji was just there. His hands gently taking the dishes out of yours and walking over to place them beside the sink. 

“How about I do these dishes for you.”

“Why would you do that?”

Sanji glanced away from you for a moment. His eyes focusing in on a memory, maybe. Whatever it was memory or thought, his eyes went into a thousand yard stare. One that was untouchable as the clouds. Finally, he turned to look at you and a touch of a smile was back. 

“Zeff is cantankerous old shit bag but-“

“But he’s your cantankerous old shit bag. I get it.”

And you did. Naan and Zeff had a lot in common, specifically in their not-so-great parenting that wasn’t parenting skills. Even more so in the way they tried to make it seem like any help you tried to give wasn’t going to be good enough. You’d just come to realize that, while at first you’d hated Naan for always telling you it just wasn’t good enough, whatever you did, you realized as you got older it was because she knew you could do better. Would you have preferred a hug? A lighter lesson sharing a cup of hot chocolate? Hell yeah you would’ve but…this was okay too. 

The closed smile Sanji wore cracked a little as you finished his sentence. A smile of realizing someone else understood seemed to make the tension ease from his shoulders just a bit. 

“I’ll wash these up for you and let’s say, in return, you have a drink with me later.” 

He’d remove the dish towel from his shoulders; his right hand tightened inside the fabric as he used it to prop himself up just a little. He was leaning against the counter with that soft, inviting smile still barely showing any teeth. You realized as you considered his offer you liked it better when he was smiling just a little too wide; all the flirting making him happier than he seemed now. 

Fuck you wondered what Zoro would do if he knew what you were about to say? What did it matter anyways? It wasn’t like you belonged to each other or had feelings or…you know…whatever. 

It was your turn to take your head out of the clouds and look back over at Sanji. He wasn’t being pushy. You were sure if you told him no he would be a gentleman about it. So, taking a deep breath you finally gave him your response. 

“A drink would be good.” 

What in the absolute hell’s were you doing? 

In a matter of a millisecond, Sanji brightened up and it made your chastising fall short. It couldn’t be that big of a deal if it made him this happy, it could it? 

“Great. I’ll finish up here and find you at the bar.”

“Alright. I guess I’ll see you in a bit then.”

You replaced your satchel over your shoulder and started to make your way towards the back door. You weren’t even sure where the bar was. Wherever it was you knew a certain Moss-haired swordsman would be there with the others. 

“Good. It’s a date.” 

You whirled around so fast the vertigo almost threatened to topple you over. 

“Ugh, it is not a date.”

“Sounds like a date to me,” Sanji teased, his hand flipping the dish towel back over his shoulder. 

He looked so smug. Why were all the men you were running into either smug, attractive, and a pain in the ass? Well, besides Luffy, that is. He was becoming your sunshine son whether he agreed or not. 

“It sounds like a drink,” you responded. 

Your feet were still carrying you to the back door, but you honestly couldn’t get there fast enough. 

“A drink under the stars and hushed conversation.” 

“To have a hushed conversation you have to be like this close,” using your hands you indicate the amount of space necessary to make that even a remote possibility, “and it’s in a crowded place, which means yelling.” 

“You’re adorable you know when you’re all flushed like that.” 

“Excuse me while I go throw myself overboard.”

“Doc! Make sure Nami or Usopp get you out!” Luffy called after you. “I won’t be able to go in.” 

You weren’t going to tell him it was a figure of speech. He seemed so genuinely concerned that you would just throw yourself off that you kind of didn’t want to ruin the moment. One last glance at Sanji before you left out the back door, and you debated whether you were joking or not. 

You weren’t exactly sure where you were heading, you just knew that there was the sound of music. Music usually meant very few things. Either someone was having a dinner party with music playing in the background, highly unlikely, or you were headed directly for the bar. 

The bar where your crew mates were at. The bar that Zoro was at and the same bar Sanji would come looking for you at later. God, how soon was later? The thought made each new step you took sound more pronounced, louder than the last as you practically dragged yourself into the fish’s mouth. 

It wasn’t an incredibly large space. It was pretty crowded already, and if it wasn’t for its size you would’ve worried you wouldn’t have been able to find them. Luckily for you, Usopp spotted you first and waved you over to the table they’d claimed right at the edge of the fish’s lip. 

While Nami and Zoro were nursing a beer and whiskey, respectfully, Usopp apparently found a punch bowl. By the looks of said punch bowl and the glossy look hollowing out Usopp’s eyes, you knew you were going to need one just as big. 

“Where did you get that fish bowl and do they have more?” You asked, removing your satchel and sitting down next to Nami. 

“Nice of you to finally join us.”

“Oh, it’s so nice to be missed.”

You clutched your hands dramatically to your chest causing Nami to bump into you playfully in response. 

“In all seriousness though, I’m going to need one of those fish bowls. ASAP.”

“I don’t know if you want one, Doc,” Usopp replied before taking another long pull from his straw. “It tastes just like candy. I don’t even think there is any liquor in this.” 

“Pace yourself.” Zoro warned. “Last time I said that I ended up face down underneath a table.” 

You leaned forward, your elbows resting on the small table, as you cupped your chin in your hands. You tried for cute and tried to smile that ended up squished between cheeks and hands. 

“What were you doing under the table?”

“Napping,” he replied curtly. 

“No one chooses to nap under a table in a bar.”

“I’ve napped in the crow’s nest on the Merry a few times.”

Yup. There was definitely liquor in that fishbowl. 

“By the way, if you see Sanji let me know. I inadvertently may have slightly agreed to have a drink with him.” 

“Nami’s boyfriend?”

“Nami’s what?”

“The waiter?!” 

“He is not my boyfriend,” Nami protested a finger up to signify to Usopp to make a point, “and what is happening?”

“He asked after I fixed up Zeff’s - the big angry Chef - leg. I made a little salve for him to help take the pain away when he wore the prosthetic.”

“And somehow that led to you being asked for a drink?”

“I guess?” You shrugged. 

“Man, I gotta try that,” Usopp mumbled as he took another long sip through his straws. 

“I knew I shouldn’t have left you alone.” 

Your eyes panned over to Zoro. His arms painfully tight across his chest and his jaw wasn’t faring any better. It looked painful. You wanted to remind him it was possible to get lockjaw just from grinding your teeth into dust. 

“Well, I’m going to go get me a fishbowl.” 

You remove yourself from your newly claimed spot and walk over towards the bar. The bartender himself seemed easy enough, happy to take your money, and even happier to take a tip as he handed over your drink. It was so heavy that you thought it would take you half a decade just to get it back to the table without spilling it. So, the best way to combat spillage was by starting to drink some down. 

Usopp was right. They did taste exactly like candy.

When you arrived back at the table, it was noticeably more quiet. Nami’s eyes focused on her now empty glass that she swirled around in her hand. Zoro wasn’t looking at you, as per usual, as if you’d done something wrong and Usopp was busy finishing off his drink. You weren’t sure how to inject yourself back into a conversation that had grown stagnant. You weren’t born with the ease of conversation; not like Nami who always seemed to know what to do. When to smile and the right words to make someone open up. You’d only take a couple of sips of your drink when Zoro’s gruff voice sliced into the silence. 

“What are you holding onto that is so heavy?” 

He took a drink from his own glass as he waited for Nami to speak. To lift her head up or show any signs that she’d heard him. 

“You guys seriously don’t think what Luffy did was messed up?”

You weren’t following. You were too busy taking another drink, eyes darting between the two of them. You felt silly. Obviously, whatever was bothering Nami wasn’t a secret. It wasn’t something she was holding close to ruin you all later, but whatever it was that weighed on her she felt Luffy had done something detrimental. Almost. 

Zoro regarded her evenly before he set his glass back down on his thigh. His gaze looked away from her as he replied, “Yeah. He should’ve told us. But if you haven’t noticed we’ve been making enemies everywhere we go. Psycho clowns, killer butlers: what are the Marines going to do?” 

 “You don’t understand. I can’t get caught not when I’m so close-“

Nami looked ready to break. The tears of panic that edged at the corners of her eyes made all the earlier playfulness disappear. The sharpness of words you threatened to say to defend Luffy losing their edge as you watched her stare into her glass like it would be able to give her all the answers. To tell her it would all be okay. 

Zoro looked between you and Usopp, who was doing his best to not be a part of this particular conversation. His lips wrapped around the straws buried deep in his drink and refused to let go. 

Men. 

You were about to reach out to her, to ask her if she was okay, really okay, not just the kind you pretend to be through words when a mask of a smile was back on her face. She set down her glass and gave a quick glance around the table before clapping her hands down on her bare legs and lifting up out of her seat. 

“Who wants a drink? It’s on me.”

“That’s my favorite kind.”

“Of course it is.”

You ignored Zoro’s stare as Nami removed herself from the booth - from all of you. She was more than halfway to the bar when you reached over and smacked Zoro’s shoulder. He looked surprised for all of a second before he looked from his shoulder and back to you. 

“‘That’s my favorite kind.’” You mimicked. “God, who says that?”

“Someone who likes free drinks?” Usopp offered up. 

“You are both -“

“Impossible. We know.”

Shaking your head, you shimmied out of the booth and started making your way through the groups of people. You could barely see Nami up ahead with an older gentleman speaking to her. A spindle of curiosity began to weave its way inside your belly and filled your head with questions. He didn’t seem to be flirting with her or trying. No, they seemed to be discussing business. 

“Nami.”

You spoke her name lightly the way you would an animal that was skittish. The hand you’d reached out to tap her shoulder falling short as she turned halfway to face you. 

“Hey, Doc, what are you doing?”

“I came to check on you.”

Nami pulled a face, her shoulders shrugging just enough to brush off your words. 

“I promise you, I’m just fine. I don’t need a check-up or anything like that.”

The bartender chose at that moment to set down a bottle of rum and four shot glasses, which Nami grabbed immediately. She thanked him with a smile and turned to head back to the table forcing you to practically run after her. 

“Nami- Nami, wait!”

“What do you want?!”

The anger of her words forced you to take a step back. Your hands raised just to let her know you meant her no harm. 

“Do you remember when I told you that you had a friend in Syrup village?”

“What about it?”

“While I didn’t stay in the village, I’m still your friend and while I may not be able to protect you like Zoro, or be full of sunshine and stretchy like Luffy, or hell, be as sharp as Usopp with a slingshot I’m still here for you. Does that make sense?”

“I think?”

“I Just- okay look I’m not good at this either. My only friend I had was Usopp and I’m not sure how to say this but if you need to talk or if anything is bothering you, you can tell me. I’m not going to judge you or you know…”

It all felt like it was going good in your head and then you breathed, started talking, and for some reason panicked. Bless Nami for finding it all vaguely amusing, from what you could tell, because the smile that graced her lips was the one you’d come to expect. Bright and full of the youth sometimes you feel like she’d missed. 

“Why do you get so awkward at the end of long speeches?” 

Her words were light and airy; full of the laughter that flowed through each one. You allowed her go wrap her arm around your shoulders as you both moved back to the table. Your own laughter threatening to burst at any minute. 

“I don’t get awkward.”

You could hear the eye roll she gave as you both began to release one another. You wouldn’t fit in the booth this way if you didn’t. 

“Every time. Without fail. You start off so strong.”

“I just get nervous that I’m not making any sense, especially when you’re saying things that matter.”

“What you said back there matters?”

She’d placed the rum and glasses down on the table. Usopp’s fishbowl long since emptied and Zoro was moving towards the bottle at Lightning speed, as if he couldn’t wait to meet oblivion. Before Nami disappeared back into the booth you gently grabbed her hand to stop her making sure she faced you completely before you spoke low enough for only her to hear. 

“It matters because you matter to me, Nami. All jokes aside, just don’t forget I’m here for you.”

Her eyes pricked with the edge of tears but she quickly nodded and turned away from you. The only proof you’d gotten she heard you was the soft squeeze of her hand in yours just before she let you go. 

“God, I don’t know which one of them is worse. Can that even be classified as dancing?”

Nami’s soft laughter filtered over to him and Zoro couldn’t help but respond with a smile. At some point, you’d dived head first into too many of the giant fishbowls, deciding not to heed his warning, and come out the other side completely and utterly shit faced. So, when Usopp asked you to join him out on the dance floor, you didn't hesitate. For the last hour, Zoro wished there was a camera around just to hold this moment hostage from time. 

He watched as you did moves he was willing to bet, if you were sober, would flush your cheeks in the rosy hue he’d found himself becoming obsessed with ever since he’d placed that snowdrop behind your ear. Another moment that time had taken he’d hoped to have burned into his memory. The way you’d looked up at him shifted something inside him, and Zoro wasn’t sure if he could ever get it back, or if he even cared it was gone. 

You were in the middle of your next move - one arm behind your head while the other was close to your side. Your shoulder rotating in strange circles as your body bounced off beat. Usopp had gone back to doing a shuffle beside you that broke you out of your dance and into his. 

Zoro could feel a smile threatening to burst its way on to his lips. Quickly, he brought his beer up and took a long pull from the glass. 

“You’re different with her.” Every word was punctuated. Slow. As if Nami was afraid saying it too fast would spook him. 

He took the glass from his lips and set it back on his thigh. His hand still wrapped around the cool mug as he finally regarded Nami. 

“I’m not different with anybody.”

“Well, that’s not true. You’re different with Luffy; with us. I’m betting you don’t look at us the way you look at her, though.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

It’s nothing. 

God, he wanted it to be true. Even now, however, he could feel his neck straining to stay facing Nami’s direction. He wanted to look back and see what you were doing. To make sure you were safe. 

And that waiter hadn’t magically appeared.

Nami must have known he was lying. She may have been a thief, but Zoro had come to realize her bullshit calling meter was the best he’d ever seen. She regarded him coolly with her brows raised in mock shock. 

“I have eyes, Zoro. Unless you’re looking at me the same way when I’m not looking - it’s different.”

If he played it cool, kept his face free of emotion, and didn’t react he could still call her a liar. It was a solid plan that would’ve worked if his jaw hadn’t ticked in annoyance. Zoro wasn’t annoyed with Nami. He was annoyed at himself for being caught wanting something -someone - besides his goal. 

He looked down into the safety of the amber liquid in his glass. Unsure of what - how - to begin to deny you hadn’t snuck in and taken a piece of him and called it yours. Luckily, he didn’t have to. 

“Look,” Nami sighed. “I know you’ve got your own thing going on. Who doesn’t.”

“Why do I feel like there’s a but coming,” he grumbled.

“But it’s okay to still want other things too.”

Zoro allowed himself to look up from the safety of the glass and willed himself to appear emotionless as he considered her. His mind was still mulling over her words and what Nami could possibly be trying to get at. 

“Oh yeah? Like what?”

“Like her.” 

No. 

In a flash, Zoro could see how simple it would be to have you. His imagination ran in a million directions, in a trillion scenarios of a life that held a path for you to walk with him. He almost gave in and allowed the warmth of the idea of touching you, knowing you, to consume him until a clash of swords resonated in his mind. 

As fast as it was created, it was destroyed. He found himself back in the woods standing in front of Kuina, so full of fire and life. The determination lit a fire in her eyes until he could’ve sworn he’d be consumed. 

“Until one of us is the greatest swordsman who ever lived.” 

It was his goal then just like she had been his goal - and it had remained his goal even now. Zoro couldn’t allow himself to lose sight of that. It was his dream to be the world’s greatest swordsman, but it had also been hers. 

Kuina. 

Zoro could still see her there waiting for him. Dead and dried leaves crunching under her feet as she waited for him to meet her in the clearing, her eyes brimming with challenge. 

Zoro could almost feel his muscles taut and ready to go to her. His thumb playing at the hilt of his sword, to pull it out in one smooth motion and come forward those last few feet in a class of steel. He could feel his feet moving and the sound of the leaves crunching under his weight. He was almost to her when the sound of laughter floating through the breeze like a wind chime forced him to stop. He didn’t know who or what it was, or why his first thought was you, but when he turned to glance behind him he felt his heart stop.

He was suddenly standing back in the lavender fields at Irkhaven. Zoro’s eyes scanned around until you were there, like Kuina, standing just out of reach. You were surrounded by a sea of purple and sunlight that only seemed to brighten as you smiled in his direction. It was the smile that warmed him down to his bones and made his chest ache for once with something other than sadness and guilt. Zoro wouldn’t dare think it - risk saying it - in case this was some kind of spell. 

You spoke his name - beckoning him to follow you - just like Kuina. Underneath all of your softness you held your own fire, your own determination, that made you appear wild. The wind whipping at your hair and turning you ethereal amongst all the life that you held within your eyes. 

Zoro could feel himself stuck between the place where he began and the place where he was going. Where you were waiting with Luffy, Usopp, and Nami. A place he never imagined his life would take him and yet…

The sound of Nami almost shouting his name shook him out of his thoughts and the sound of cracking glass filtered through moments later. He could feel the glass in his hand fracturing; dangerously close to collapsing inward if he squeezed harder. He set the weeping glass down and spared a glance to Nami as he removed himself from the seat.

“Hey, Zoro, are you okay?”

He hated how he could see the concern was etched into every crease of her features. The way she pretended to care. He made sure his hand was secured on the Wado Ichimonji before he stood to his full height. His eyes glancing over at you and Usopp now entrenched in a dance battle. 

Suddenly, being inside the mouth of a fish made him feel like he was being swallowed whole. He couldn’t be near you - couldn’t risk confessing in the heat of a drunken moment that you had consumed him, mind and soul, and he wasn’t sure if he cared. 

“I gotta go back to the Merry. Forgot something.”

“Forgot what? Zoro? Zoro!”

He didn’t look behind him to see what Nami was doing. Their earlier game of “guess my trauma,” officially over as he rushed towards the next dock. The pounding of his heart reminding him of the dangers of caring; of allowing yourself to get wrapped up in other people. 

To this day, Zoro could still feel the ice that pierced his heart when he was told Kuina was gone. The way the world seemed to shift into madness and somehow remain the same. It was his mind that could no longer make sense of a world where she no longer resided. Zoro would’ve gone to the gates of hell to get her back if he could and with the searing vision of your smile, head whipped back in joy, Zoro felt that same exact emotion he’d felt over seven years ago. 

He would tear the world apart to keep you in it and that was a confession he couldn’t afford to say. 

For the last hour Zoro had been able to sit in the stillness of the ship and enjoy the silence. The only intrusive sound was that of things moving below the water and the of the wet stone sliding across the Wado Ichimonji. 

It’d taken him longer than he’d ever admit to collect himself. His meditation hadn’t been able to clear his mind the way it usually did, and it wasn’t until he’d begun to take care of Kuina’s blade that his thoughts had ceased.

Of course, all good things were meant to come crashing down. 

“How long do you think you’re going to hide out here and pout?”

Zoro’s wrist stopped mid-motion down the sword. His eyes unable to tear away from the moonlight gleaming on the blade just in case looking at you sent him reeling over the edge again. 

Being alone with you on the Merry was about the worst thing that could happen to him. At least at the bar he would have continued to play twenty questions with Nami and been surrounded by plenty of sound to help drown out whatever was going on with him. 

You aren’t focused. 

But he was, wasn’t he? In the last seven years, Zoro had devoted himself to his training. To become stronger. Faster. The only swordsman to use three swords and earn the name of The Demon. With every waking hour Zoro was closer to becoming who he - who she - dreamed of being. 

The sound of your footsteps drawing closer almost made him delirious. His hand tightening down on the wet stone before he set it down beside him. His eyes turned out to look once more into the endless midnight in front of him. 

“Who says I’m hiding?”

His voice sounded rough, like it hadn’t been used in months. He picked up the rum he’d taken from his room and took a swig to clear his throat and his senses. By the time he finished taking his drink, you were standing beside where he sat on the crate. Your arms wrapped around your middle with your hip cocked looking like you were ready to give him hell. 

I am hiding. 

It was the only clear thought he had as his eyes adjusted to your presence. Your eyes were glassy from the alcohol even though you were trying to make it seem like you were sober, he guessed. But Zoro could tell you were tipsy with the way you swayed along with each push of the ocean’s wave against the ship. 

He and Nami were going to have a talk about dressing you next time. Every part of you felt exposed to him and yet, it wasn’t enough. It was all just a game, teasing him constantly no matter what angle he looked at it. What was even worse was how the moon highlighted you in light and half in shadow. 

“I say you are and we both know I’m usually right.”

A sly smile slid across his lips before he could stop it. His eyes transfixed while you took the finishing steps until you stood before him. With your arms back down at your side you felt more open to him, vulnerable somehow. It was the look in your eyes that told him why. 

Maybe he wasn’t just imagining it too but what did it prove? You were both idiots on a sinking ship. Looking up at you now, the way you shamelessly devoured every inch the moonlight provided your eyes he knew you’d both happily drown. 

“Is that so?”

“It’s the new unwritten rule on the ship.”

“Guess I’m going to have to have a talk with Luffy about that.”

“He’s still in the kitchen finishing up dishes if you want to be a good first mate and help him.”

“I should go help him.”

“The waiters in there with him, though.” 

“He doesn’t need my help that bad.” 

Zoro wasn’t sure what it was that made your head fall back the way it did. What it was that caused you to laugh the way you did with your hand covering your mouth as if it was enough to silence it. He didn’t know what he did, but he swore he would do it again just to see you like this. 

“Is that why you are hiding out on the ship? Afraid of some competition?”

You went to sit down next to him and his hand reached out to grab you by your hip to stop you. It was meant to be a gesture to get you to stop. Instead, his hand slid under the fabric of the corset and he could hear the audible sharp whistle as you sucked in a breath. He wondered if you would let him keep it there, if you’d let him pull you closer until you were perfectly positioned between his legs.

As fast as his hand and touched you it retreated and it was his turn to stand. 

“Let’s cut the chit chat. I have something better in mind.

“You seriously think now is a good time to train?”

You couldn’t believe it. Your brain was still a mess from seconds ago when his hand somehow found its way under your clothes. The way he’d looked up at you, you half expected him to pull you closer. The hunger that flashed in obsidian eyes was enough to make you think you were about to find out just how plush his lips might actually be. 

As fast as it happened it ended and the disappointment was raw in your chest. Zoro, on the other hand, looked right at home. 

“Why not? Did you have something else in mind?”

Yes. 

“No,” you grumbled. 

You were most definitely not pouting.

“Good. First, you have to fix your stance.” 

“Okay, how should I be-“

A scream of shock left you as you nearly jumped out of your skin. You turned just in time to see him slide the handle of a sword back inside the sheath. The same one that he’d used mere seconds ago to smack against your bare thigh. 

“Did you just spank me with your sword?”

God, he looked too pleased with himself. 

“I could do it again, if you like.” 

You could feel your mouth opening and closing. You didn’t know what to say. Yes, please do? That felt too desperate and yelling at him would do nothing but prove you did like it in some weird way. 

Shit. Your cheeks were burning. 

“How about we just direct me, verbally, like a normal sensei would do.” 

“You could also call me master, instead of sensei, if you like.” 

Zoro had stepped close to you - close enough if you leaned back just an inch you would be against him. His words were dripped heavily with teasing, but the way the husk of his tone whispered along your skin like a caress threatened to make your knees buckle. 

This was supposed to be training for god sake. Clearing your throat, you dared to lean your head back just enough it rested on his chest. Your eyes batting up at him as you replied, “Or I can just call you an asshole.”  

A heavy sigh blew through his nose as he stepped away from you, almost sending you falling on your ass. 

“Do you even have a weapon?” 

“There are pots in the kitchen,” you deadpanned. 

Zoro looked at you like he would throw you over the side of the ship at any minute. 

“I mean a real weapon.”

“My knife is in my satchel.”

You both stood there staring at one another. You weren’t sure what he was expecting you to do. If you were just magically supposed to make your satchel appear or leave to go get it. Zoro wasn’t saying much. He was just standing there one hand on his sword and a thumb tucked into his sash. 

“Are you going to keep staring at me all night or are you going to go get it?” 

Whatever tension that had been brimming between you, unspoken words, or anything else was instantly gone. All of it exploded by his usual rigid posture and dead-eye stare that only moments ago made you believe that maybe, just maybe, your drunken mind wasn’t as delusional as you thought. 

“When I come back you better be ready to get your ass kicked,” you seethed. 

You went to turn on your booted heel when a strong wave rocked the ship and almost sent you toppling forward. You’d braced yourself for impact; your knees colliding once again with the wood or possible scraps to your hands and bare legs. 

Instead, your back collided with a warm body with a forearm locked around your middle keeping you impossibly tight against them. The scent of sandalwood and skin melded together flooding your scenes until your brain was in overload. 

You looked back and found his face mere inches from yours. So close you could feel the heat of his breath along your jaw tempting you to close those last few inches. For a brief moment you thought you’d unlocked some new form of drunken bravery inside of you, but all of it came crashing down when Zoro let go and stepped away. 

“Maybe I should walk back with you. You don’t seem like you’re able to walk.” 

“Okay.”

You didn’t know what else to say. Should you tell him to come close again? Should you tell him that while he was equally the most infuriating human on the planet you somehow couldn’t imagine a space where he wasn’t in it?

How could knowing someone for only a short while turn into…this. 

You knew you wouldn’t say any of it. Not even enough liquor in the world could get you to tell Roronoa Zoro, The Demon, that you had a crush on him just as deadly as he was. 

So, you turned on your heel and headed back towards the giant mouth of the fish. The steady sounds of Zoro’s heavy footsteps right behind you until you finally made it back into the bar. You’d only gotten a few steps to the table when you realized something was wrong. A man in a trench coat and large hat with a feather was standing in front of Nami and Usopp. They didn’t appear frightened but…why was he there?

“Oh, hey guys! This is my new best friend-“ Usopp stated. 

Nami softly smacked him on his chest as she cut in, “This is not our friend.” 

The man in question turned to stare at Zoro and you. His eyes sunflower yellow with swirls like a bullseye within making you almost take a step back from him. You bummed back into Zoro and this time when you looked at him he no longer looked unreadable. He was looking at this man like he was a godsend - a dream come true in the form of curled mustaches and oversized feathers. 

“You’re Dracule Mihawk.” 

“I have business with your captain. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll hand him over.”

“Well, we don’t know anyone named Luffy, do we guys? Zoro?” 

You’d been so enamored by Mihawk’s  appearance you hadn’t realized Zoro had moved around you. His eyes still fastened to him as he moved around to face him. 

“I’ve been following your career since I was a child. It’s an honor to finally meet you, sir.”

“Thank you.” 

Mihawk looked bored out of his skull. 

“Which is why it pains me to inform you that tomorrow you’re going to die.”

“Wait, what?”

“What the actual fuck…” 

Your words came out as an uttered whisper. You were too shell shocked to say more - do more. It felt like you were watching this whole interaction through the lense of a telescope on a distant island where idiots roamed free. 

“I, Roronoa Zoro, challenge you to a duel to the death.”

“What the actual fuck! Zoro!”

This time you were loud. Much louder than you wanted with every syllable ringing out your panic like a dinner bell. 

“I’ve never heard of you.” 

“They call me the Demon Pirate Hunter. But my lifelong dream is to best you in single combat and become the greatest swordsman in the world.” 

“You’re serious.”

“Accept my challenge and I’ll show you how serious I am.”

“Very well. Tomorrow at dawn and when I’m done with you Pirate Hunter I’ll take your captain.” 

No. No. No - “No.”

Your head was still ringing out with the word. Unable to comprehend what in the actual hell had just happened. You’d come back to get your small cutting knife. He was supposed to be training you right now back on the deck of the Merry. This was wrong. All wrong. 

Nami leaned forward from her seat. Her own worry was bleeding into her eyes, her voice, as she asked, “What in the hell did you just do?”

You were still trying to figure that out when Zoro turned and walked away leaving dread the size of a crater to worm its way inside your chest. 

As always, thank you all so much for reading. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated.

____________

Tag list: @thegreatesttttttttt @katiemrty @sorasolarium @ponyboys-sunsets @flowersgirl02 @spilled-coffee-cup @instabull @charleslec-airlines @dixonsbugaboo @amanda08319 @moony-artemis @iloveautumn1 @yoheyyosup @ghostyycat7 @csmbrainrot @selmasemlan @scarletrosesposts @yeetedandoboi @snixx2088 @sourairi @nerdiestmothman21 @swthxrry @throwmethroughawindow @heyitz-julia @sabrinadelreyy @illusory-segurity @naomihatake @mrs--imperfect @shabzy1644 @fckwritersblock @glaciuswduo @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @fangeekkk @tfamidoingwithmylife @zaphira-san @kieth-reblogging @alotofrandomfangirling @emelia07 @kagatinkita @sarcastic-sourwolf @humblereaper21 @frankenstein852 @lflores2008 @hwabae8 @sseleniaa @skzoolove94 @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @kaykay0315 @geminidas

@

[elikscer]

Looking for fanfic recommendations!

Current fictional crushes:

Severus Snape (Harry Potter)

Aizawa Shouta (My Hero Academia)

Viktor (Arcane: League of Legends)

Rorschach (The Watchmen)

...can you tell I like grumpy men with passion and a good heart? Or that I have a need to "save" said grumpy men and teach them how to love? Lol.

Themes I love:

Angst!!

Friends to lovers

Insecure male leads

"This isn't a funny prank." "It's not a prank!" "Of course it is. Why else would you kiss me?"

Men who really need a friend

Slow burn

Awkward sexual situations

The male lead apologizing for awkward sexual situation and the female lead surprising him by making it clear that she's into it.

F/M preferred for main couple

Awkward/anxious/socially inept male leads

Powerful/capable female leads

Reader inserts

Male lead feeling guilty for being aroused by the female lead

Male lead thinking the female lead would be disgusted if she knew he was into her

Masculine/tomboy female leads, especially if she has short hair, a deep voice, doesn't wear makeup, or dresses practically instead of fashionably.

Forced proximity

Traumatized men that need someone to help them learn to trust and feel safe

Virgin/inexperienced male leads

Short male leads (the shorter the better, no maximum. Short kings fuck better istg)

Male leads who are respectful of women

Themes I dislike:

Pregnancy and children

Established relationships (I enjoy the build up and the "will they, won't they?" and the butterflies and nervousness and awkwardness, established relationships and security just don't excite me)

Crossovers

Male leads being bad people (a little hurt/comfort is ok, but when the male lead is just straight up an asshole I'm out.)

Out of character

AUs that significantly change the setting or characters. Small canon tweaks and alternate endings are fine though. Just not usually a fan of "Regency AU" and such.

Poor grammar or spelling (I'm sorry it just pulls me out of the story if it's too obvious)

Helpless female leads

Extreme kink and rape/non-con, especially controlling power dynamics. Light sub/Dom is ok, but femdom is preferred in such cases.

Sexually aggressive male leads

Mature content welcomed! Innocent stuff is welcome too if well written but let's be honest, I'm here for the fantasy.

If you took the time to read all that and have any recommendations please send them my way!

I'm starting to feel like I'll have to get into writing if I want all my specific desires fulfilled 😭

[dozing--zzz]

intro post

hello, i go by dozing/doze on here (hermit is fine too if you still wanna use that)

im seventeen and a switch in the sfw tickle community. ive ran a few other blogs in the past, but abandoned them out of self-hate. i have not too recently accepted and embraced this about myself, and after lurking for a while, i have started a new blog.

i view tickles as a fun, silly, bonding activity for friends, lovers, or family, and just a cute part of the human condition. i adore seeing people laughing. i love laughs a lot. maybe a little too much.

i occasionally do tickle art and (rarely, but sometimes) tickle writing/scenarios. this blog will likely mostly consist of random thoughts, art, cute stuff i see or think, or other interactions within the community.

i love talking with others in the community like me, so never hesitate to dm me or anything. id love to chat and make a few friends here.

*unfurls a long scroll*

fandoms

(bold = currently my favorites, strikethrough = dormant, italics = just got into it)

the outsiders by s.e. hinton

atsv

minecraft

adventure time

steven universe

little big planet

sanders sides

critical role (campaign 2)

hermitcraft

fantasy life (3ds)

commentary youtube

studio ghibli

harvest moon: tale of two towns

pokemon (sun/moon or sword/shield mostly)

avatar the last airbender (animated)

my ocs + original universep

big hero 6

octonauts

wild Kratts

gravity falls

d&d

delicious In dungeon

inside out 1 + 2

the lego movie

bluey

9 (movie)

acnh

teen titans go

marvel

these change like.. every week, so definitely be sure to come back to it every so often if you're curious. i usually bounce between all of these things, however, it's very rarely that the list will expand.

other stuff i like

70s-80s/vintage aesthetic and fashion

70s-80s (and a bit of before/after) music

alternative styles and music in general

found family tropes

anything really paganism/witchcraft related

mythology

nintendo and old games

writing, reading, drawing

conlangs/other made-up languages

silly animals like deer, crows, beetles

uhhh i might add to this

dni/other iffy things

if you apply to any of the following labels, please do not interact with me or my blog. thanks!

NFSW or partially NSFW blog (unless you have tags i can block)

age 30 or older. if i meet you before then and you are a good person and we know eachother when you turn 30, i can make an exception.

feet-centered blog or someone with a foot fetish. you do you, i have no problem with whatever you like, but it is not my thing and makes me uncomfortable.

prefer solely/mostly heavy bondage or tickle torture and/or have a blog centered around it, again, you do you but it scares me lol

homophobic, transphobic, misogynist, sexist, etc. need i explain. i am under the trans umbrella and gay. so if you don't like it fuck off respectfully

think witchcraft/pagan religions are "of the devil" or evil or whatever. i am a practicing witch. i respect and try to understand all religions. please do the same to me.

proshipper or a proshipping supporter.

a vore enjoyer sexual or nonsexual. sorry and no personal hate to you but that stuff terrifies/disgusts me

enjoy/create irl tickling content. yes, this includes youtubers, actors, kpop groups, etc. they're real people and i feel that it is weird and icky to make that sort of content without their consent. thats a real person

these may change as i grow and i will likely do a post indicating it. thanks for reading all that.

anyways, even though im not technically new, i hope you all welcome me back to the community.

[aizenify]

밤비 BAMBI !

| 💌 | AKA; viq/any other nickname I have

helloo, i wanted to create a pinned post to introduce myself if you aren’t familiar already!! I mostly post on Twitter or Tiktok!

16+ themes here.

— about me :) —

—> [🎐] ASIAN [🇻🇳] VIET/ENG

—> [🦢] she/he/they ; AROACE

—> [🖇️] artist ; musician ; python programmer

—> [💌] biomed & forensics student

—> [🪖] ▄︻デ══━一 counterstrike addict (AWPER)

—> [🧡] AIZEENNN

—> [🧡] orange 🧡

⋆୨♡୧⋆

| 💌 |

MY BLEACH MAIN 4

Sōsuke Aizen♡(ㅠㅡㅠ)♡ , Ichigo Kurosaki♡ , Shinji Hirako & Ulquiorra Cifer lover

((i love Aizen.))))))

and I mean it. I’m unhealthily obsessed with Aizen.😭

(🧡🤎☕️)

MSG ME IF YOU WANT OTHER SOCIALS!

— if you wanna know more….

⋆୨♡୧⋆ INTERESTS!

BLEACH , HARDSTYLE/MUSICPRODUCING , FASHION/DESIGN , EDITING , COUNTERSTRIKE , SCP , JUMPSTYLE , CYBERSECURITY , ART , BLOODYBUNNY , MLP , SPONGEBOB , BIOMED , LITERATURE , FORENSICS , PSYCHOLOGY , PHILOSOPHY , TRUECRIME , ORCHESTRA (violinist for 6+ years!), and many more:)

fun facts

— I’m certified in the cybersecurity field and hold a certificate in it! Same goes for the biomedical sciences field.

— I’ve been playing the violin and in orchestras for nearly 7 years now! I find orchestras and orchestral compositions beautiful, and you should too! I recommend this piece titled “Masquerade Suite: Waltz” composed by Aram Khachturian.

— Music wise, I listen to almost anything. And I mean it, I truly do! Most of what I listen to is abstract, harsher to the ears even, and require an “acquired taste” to fully enjoy. Producing music really does help you understand and enjoy the variety of different music types.

— I speak a little German, but I’m not fluent.

—

(⌒▽⌒)♡

[☕️]

BYI

!! I talk alooootttt about my interests and favorites (big waffler lol)

!! overprotective (in general, of friends , interests etc.)

!! I love making new friends, so please don’t be afraid to send a message! :)

!! I’m neurodivergent (ADHD)

!! English is not my first language, if anything be patient please!:)

DNI

!! basic dni ; overly sexual people ; self proclaimed “gooners” of favs ; closeminded individuals

⋆୨♡୧⋆

| 💌 |

MY MUSIC!

ひ multigenre producer #XSCTY #882

<3 hardcore/hardstyle!!!

my spotify ;; if you want to take a listen.

[💌]

⋆୨♡୧⋆

(⌒▽⌒)♡

—

空へと踏み出せずにいるからだ 悚れ無きその花のように

我々が岩壁に足を止めてしまうからだ 我々が岩壁の花を美しく思うのは

We think a flower on a cliff is beautiful

because we stop our feet at the cliff's edge,

unable to step out into the sky like that fearless flower.

[💌]

[kthecritter]

Care kit for a Alice kin please

here you go, I hope you enjoy! I’m basing this soley on the original disney movie, as I haven’t seen any other versions

Alice is a notoriously curious girl. Try going down a rabbit hole (lol, very fitting) of a topic you find interesting!

Alice is a lover of nature. Go out to a park or the woods, and enjoy the sights, sounds, and smells. Maybe even try making some flower arrangements or jewelry, like daisy bracelets or flower crowns!

Alice is an endless dreamer. Think of all the things that make you happy, and imagine, sketch, or write out a world where all the things you love and wish could happen can happen

Try incorporating more of Alice’s style and colours into your fashion and environment, like wearing more blues, whites, and creams; and decorating your room in whimsical ways

Baking can connect you to Alice’s creative personality. Make some delicious cookies, muffins, and other baked goods (with substitutes if you have food allergies) to enjoy

Try gardening or tidying your yard up, and make it look beautiful with potted plants (roses are the best), hanging lights, and cute lawn chairs

If you don’t have your own lawn (like, if you live in an apartment), visit a local nursery or garden, and enjoy the abundance of flowers, produce, and other plants

[thebroccolination]

Hi Key 👋 I am once again sleep deprived and bothering people. Don't worry, I won't put you through another round of either/or😅

Since there are "Top 5" polls going around, I was wondering: 1) Now that KristSingto have returned to us and are serving exes to lovers goodness, what top 5 genres/tropes would you like to see from them in regards to any future projects?

2) Now that BounPrem are with GMM, (besides Krist and Singto which I fully believe you will manifest🤞) what top 5 artists would you like to see them work with? Solo or paired.

Please never feel pressured to answer anything I send lol I'm just a curious bean.

P.S. Now that I finally have some free time, I can't wait to catch up on your fics, "Fireproof" and "Heart Like Gold" are top of my list! I just finished reading "Anew" and absolutely loooooved it ❤️

Awww I love answering questions! \o/ Thank you, OP, it’s lovely to be thought of like this!

And I hope you enjoy the new fics! <3 (I do need to update HLG soon.)

Okay so first up:

Top 5 Genres/Tropes I’d Like to See from KristSingto

1) Fantasy set in our world. And not necessarily time travel, but something like Be My Favorite where the stakes are high. They’re both so good at high drama, I need more of it from them together.

2) Established relationship. It’s my favorite trope. I love seeing couples already in love dealing with issues either in their relationship or in an Us vs. the World sort of situation.

3) Historical!!! I’d do literally anything to see them falling in love in early Ayutthaya fashion.

4) WEDDING. LET THEM GET FICTIONALLY MARRIED.

5) Soulmate stuff! I just love soulmate stuff. That’s how UWMA trapped me in here in the first place. :’)

Aaaand

Top 5 GMMTV Artists I’d Like to See BounPrem Work With (Besides KristSingto Because I’m Already Channeling All My Spiritual Power Behind that)

1) Aye!!! She’s so phenomenally talented so she’d be good for them to work with and hone their skills, and I also think she’d get along with Prem especially. She and Prem have very calming energy. Also just. She’s so sweet and she has social anxiety so I just want her to work with more kind people, and BounPrem are both fiercely loyal and fun to be around.

2) Gawin!!! I’m basically pairing the sweet and talented introverts with BP because they bring joy into the world of anyone they interact with. I also think they’d learn a lot from each other acting-wise since Gawin really honed his dramatic skills with Be My Favorite under Waa.

3) Namtan!!! God they’d be so funny together. She’s hands-down the funniest person at GMMTV and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she and Boun would be best friends immediately. Please. I beg.

4) Jan!!! I just want to see them hang out with my favorite actresses, basically. SWS was primarily dudes and GMMTV has such phenomenal actresses who honestly don’t get the opportunities they deserve. AyeJan and BounPrem and I’ll be happy.

5) Gun!!! I don’t think they’d become best friends or anything, I just think he’s talented and he’d challenge them to improve even more. So this one’s more a craft thing I hope for them.

[lillxart]

Tidbit From an old mini-fic!

This is from an old collection of one shots I wrote after Ondolemar and Snow White got together. Some of these I'll still use when its time to implement them proper, others I won't. But I feel like sharing a little bit! If only to put more Ondolemar content out there :p

tagging: @theoneandonlysemla @skyrim-forever @dirty-bosmer since you all enjoy Ondolemar, if I'm not mistaken? (correct me if I'm wrong) and lmk if you DON'T want me to tag you in these sorts of things! Don't want to bother anybody lol! ^p^

The candles were burning low, the flickering of their red light against the stone walls of Vlindrel Hall. The halls were dark but the sitting room was bright while a hint of jasmine oil was scented through the air. The sound of dishes being done while desserts were chilling on ice along with other sweet drinks and things fitting for delights after a hearty dinner. There were only two souls in the entire house, the black goat residing outside for the evening while the two housecarls were sent away. 

Ondolemar leaned back on the sofa, boots off and lying in his underclothes while his Thalmor robes were draped over a chair. Off towards the kitchen was Snow White, washing off the dishes while her elf lover relaxed after the dinner she made him. She tried really hard to get everything about the elven food correct, wanting to impress him. Though he said very little of the meal during their conversation, instead fishing for stories on her adventures and inquiries after her emotional health. It made the witch a little anxious. 

“U–Um…” She turned around briefly, the clink of her expensively crafted jewelry slightly making her ears tickle as she moved. Ondolemar tilted his head back, showing she had his attention.  “H–How was the food? I mean–I tried to–was it good?” Snow White’s cheeks turned pink, desperately wanting to please him. 

Ondolemar sat up, trying to puzzle her thoughts together. “I ate everything you prepared, did I not?”

“Yes, but–”

“Then your attempts at Aldmeri cuisine were satisfactory.” 

Despite the certainty in his tone, Snow White surely must’ve done something wrong? She’s not accustomed to making elvish dishes. There has to be feedback, a critique, anything? She felt anxious it wasn’t perfect…

Ondolemar saw the telltale signs of her beginning to worry, folding over her hands over and over again while becoming stiff as a board. In truth, the dish wasn’t too bad. It was certainly better than the other foods he’s had in Skyrim, and even if it wasn’t prepared by a highly acclaimed cook he’d rather have it made from Snow White’s hands than anybody else. Oddly enough, at this point in the Thalmor’s career he’d probably trust his lover from a foreign land more than a chef in his own home country when it came to a question of poison. The food was satisfactory, plain and simple. 

Yet she still desperately wanted to find something at fault, so she could apologize for being ‘not good enough’ and fix it. “...Sour.”

“Hm? 0~0;;”

“It was too sour. Perhaps don’t use so much lemon next time, yes?” 

Her mood lifted and she looked at him with a shine in her eyes, it hurt Ondolemar that finding something within herself she needs to fix makes her happy. He wants to know why she’s like this, and who he needs to kill to rectify it. Still, Snow was in better spirits now at least. 

For the past few times they’ve met up Snow White’s been immersing their evenings in elvish culture any way she could. From the dresses she wore on their fancier nights, from the jewelry hand crafted by herself, to how she serves him as an engaged elf would at a family gathering, even the wine she imported all the way from the Summerset Isles, along with special pure crystal glasses. Those things alone must’ve cost her no small amount of money. Yet she tries to be a part of his culture for the sake of his happiness. While the wine and the food and even the way she’s lavished herself in Isle’s fashion were lovely, it wasn’t her. Snow White was not an elf, she was a witch. A witch from a dying culture and the last remnant of her clan. Ondolemar loves seeing her in elvish things, because to him the elves are beautiful, and because his lover is beautiful she should be wearing things equally as beautiful. 

But the shine of the jewelry was too prominent against her pale skin. The particular shades of golds meant to complement the Altmer’s yellow features looked out of place on a creature white as snow. While her elven hair was a beautiful crown to match the many moonstones and opals and sea glass, the styles and cuts of the jewels weren’t fitting for her soft features. And her body? His Snowflake was certainly lithe like an elf, but her prominent chest and legs still developing their dainty curves were no good hidden by the modest dress. No doubt she must be uncomfortable in a garment so constricting, the savage witches of every land wearing more freeing garments for the purpose of battle. And Snow White was a battlemage, in her own category, the elf supposed. 

Does she miss it? Does she miss her culture? She’s been thrust into the role of the ‘Nord hero’ and as such, can no longer practice what she loves openly. While Ondolemar considers the practices of witches and hagravens completely barbaric and disgusting, he’s been repeatedly surprised by Snow White’s intelligence. Her talent and understanding of the arcane and how magic performs is akin to any scholar his homeland could produce, and she’s an eighth of how old they are. 

I want to see her in what she would wear on a night like this…I want to experience the foods she’d feed me if I were wed to her in earnest… Ondolemar sat back up. Ondolemar gently grabbed her hand as she came over. She blushed. 

“Y–Yes?... ^^;”

“Next night we’re together I want to learn about you, about your culture. No more of this Altmer nonsense.”

“Was the plate that bad? QMQ;;” Her face turns into a squishy overly expressive blob. 

“No no! Just a little sour–and over cooked; the presentation could’ve been better as well, but it was still perfectly acceptable! I ate it all–and asked for seconds on top of that. Listen, this isn’t about me not liking what you’re doing for me. You’ve been very…” His heart clenched in a painful way, full of warm emotion, but he did his best to not let it show too much. “...you’ve been very kind to me, darling. You’ve tried all you can to make this relationship–our relationship comfortable. You don’t understand the turmoil in my heart, because you’ve never felt fault with the other races, you’ve never been raised to hate and scorn everything that doesn’t have pointed ears or golden flesh. Yet despite not understanding my feelings, you try, you desperately try. That, is not something I ever could have anticipated from a creature in this land…” 

Snow White listened in awe. Stricken silent by the pure honesty he was giving her. The subtle pain in his eyes, like there was a well of emotion inside of him that he’s been suppressing for years. The mer who stalked around Understone Keep was nowhere to be found in the eyes of the man she was seeing right now. It made her heart swell with a longing ache to be close to him, oh but she was so close with him now…! “I…I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that, what do you want me to say to that?...” She felt lost again. 

Ondolemar gave a silent chuckle. “I want you to say ‘yes’. I want you to share with me what makes you. What was your coven like? What were their practices? I’ve heard bits and pieces very sparingly…” He kissed the back of her hand. “I especially want to know more about your courtship practices.”

Snow felt a little self conscious, rubbing her arm with her free hand. “Y…You’re not gonna like it…it’s not…not…”

“I know it may be different but…well… You’re different. You’re not an Altmer, so you should not be treated as one.”

“You’re not a clansman from the Order of Seven, so you should not be treated as one.” She countered.

Ondolemar pulled her onto his lap, adjusting her comfortably while he used levitation magic to pour them their drinks. “If we’re truly being technical, you’re my wife. Even if it’s just for sentimentality purposes, you still wear a ring on your finger don’t you?~ Doesn’t that mean we would be bridging the gap between our cultures?”

Snow White unconsciously ran a thumb over the wedding band Ondolemar had made for her. “Sure you should be saying that about a halfbreed? -3-” She still tried to change the subject. 

Ondolemar silenced her with a kiss, deep and passionate. When he felt her mind slip away, lost in the embrace, he finally broke their lip lock. Her face was fully flushed now, and the restrictive dress she wore was too hot. “Say yes~” Ondolemar whispered. 

“O…Ok…” She bit the bottom of her lip, shyly complying to his demands. Ondolemar gently smiled and teased her lips with his. 

“Good girl~” Ondolemar showered Snow White with sweet kisses for the rest of the night while they ate their dessert and drank.

[cha-melodius]

OMG I remembered I have another ask for you: I can’t seem to find The Man from Uncle to watch in the UK, which is a shame bc I want to read your fics about it and also Henry Cavill gets me all 🫠 ever since he wore a henley on Superman. So, here’s my question: tell me a little bit about it? A little backstory on Napollya (iirc from your posts 😂) so that maybe I can just enjoy the fics? Pretty please? x

Back in action for asks! *cracks knuckles*

I would love to give you some backstory! (Also, if any of my TMFU folks are reading this and know where to stream it in the UK, please chime in!)

The good news is that for a lot of my AUs you probably don't need a huge amount of the background to appreciate the dynamic. It's a pretty classic enemies to friends to lovers setup, with the added bonus that (in the movie) they are actually true enemies rather than just people who dislike each other haha. I am going to put the rest of this behind a cut—no major spoilers for the movie, but it's gonna get long lol. So if anyone else also wants a character rundown + some important stuff about their dynamic so they can dive into some of my other fics, here's your primer!

Ok, so character rundown:

Napoleon Solo: aka "Cowboy," aka "The CIA's finest", formerly a top tier art thief who no one could catch, until he finally tripped up and got arrested. The CIA plucked him out of prison to work for them, and his handler still treats him like criminal dirt. Enjoys fancy cooking, classic yet fashionable suits, is utterly charming, a massive flirt, supposed to be the 'womanizer' but consistently shows a refreshing respect for women (especially given the James Bond comparison).

Illya Kuryakin: aka "Peril", aka "The youngest person to join the KGB", a giant (6'5"), inhumanly strong, super hostile and gruff exterior, surprisingly bad liar, polite king to little old ladies, actually softer than a marshmallow on the inside. His father was a Soviet official who got thrown in the gulag when he was a kid for embezzlement, forcing his mother into a kind of prostitution to survive. Probably resulting from that trauma, he suffers from dissociative episodes when he gets extremely upset in which he does things like trashes hotel rooms (his hands shake when he feels one coming on). Manipulated by his handler with threats of being sent to the gulag like his father. Favors turtlenecks and simple outfits, also a fashion snob. Extremely attached to his father's watch, which he wears.

Gaby Teller: aka "Chop Shop Girl", East German auto mechanic who's father was a nuclear scientist pulled out of Germany by the Americans during the war, leaving her behind as a kid. No-nonsense, prefers slacks when dressing herself, sometimes plays mother to our bickering boys. Possible alcohol problems.

Alexander Waverly: British Naval Intelligence, ultimately organizing the operation, a bit of an asshole but in a charming way, keeps together the team at the end as UNCLE (independent spy organization).

Victoria Vinciguerra: The evil mastermind. Napoleon sleeps with her at one point to save the operation, later she drugs him and leaves him to be tortured. Very tall, very fashionable.

Also other minor character you may come across in AUs: Oleg (Illya's KGB handler), Sanders (Napoleon's CIA handler), Alexander Vinciguerra (Victoria's husband), Rudi Teller (Gaby's Nazi uncle).

The main thrust of the movie is that Napoleon and Illya are both sent to East Berlin to try to extract Gaby for their own purposes, only to learn that they will actually be force to work as a team to take down the bad guys. They actively try to kill each other in not just their first but also second meeting. There's a scene where they argue over fashion while buying Gaby a new wardrobe that is *chef's kiss*. Extreme levels of banter and snark in every interaction. BUT, as these things go, they gain a grudging respect for each other. Napoleon saves Illya's life, Illya saves Napoleon's life. They work together as a team exceptionally well. By the end, they are trading extremely fond insults. There are moments of self-sacrificial plays to save a teammate you're not even supposed to like, gift giving, betraying your principles/agency for the other person. There is a canonical will-they-won't they between Illya and Gaby during the movie (one of the reasons another major ship in this fandom is an ot3 between them), but nothing actually happens.

I think that basically sums up their dynamic and gives you the backstory you'd need for the AUs especially. For the post-canon ones it's a little tricker since I'd rather not give away the main twist of the movie, BUT a lot of them are kind of "in the future working as a team already" setup that don't really reference movie events, so you'd honestly probably be fine there too.

All right, that's a lot of text lol. I hope it helps, and I hope you enjoy the fics if you decide to dive in!

[lady-of-endless]

hiii! hope you’re doing well!! i was wondering if i could get a match up? preferably w a guy pls

appearance wise: i’m 5’7, so taller for a girl, a little chubby, super pale, i have big freckles all over my face and shoulders, i also have dark circles (that paired with pale skin makes me look a little dead), kind of droopy hazel eyes, black hair, i have both nostrils pierced plus a few different ear piercings, some tattoos, a lot of scars (from surgeries and different things), and i really love alternative fashion so i tend to wear mostly black, but i’m still pretty hyperfeminine when it comes to clothes and makeup and stuff.

other stuff abt me: i’m pretty shy until i get to know someone, i have really bad social anxiety, but then i’m usually pretty goofy. i love making ppl laugh it’s my favorite. i have the sense of humor of a 16 year old boy though (i think fart jokes are so funny). i tend to anger quickly and am generally kind of angsty. i really love horror in any kind of form, but especially movies. i also really love vampires. i’m neurodivergent x3 lol. been through a lot of trauma. i also really love making art and seeing other people’s art. i really love music, specifically alternative rock. i’m kind of a stoner. i’m also a nerd, i like collecting things (coins, antiques, figurines, comic books and manga). i love all animals but especially cats and bats. i’m a crybaby. i tend to show love by teasing ppl but i love being sweet too. i thinks that’s it???

sorry if that’s all over the place! and thank you for doing this <3 i appreciate it so much!

Author's Note: Thank you for your request, dear! You seem so cool omg 😍 Hope you'll enjoy it!

I ship you with...Eustass Kid!

(lovely gif is not mine, please show appreciation to the OP)

- I feel like you two will bond over your sense of humor. You'll get bonus points from him if you joke about Law with him.

- Your relationship will probably go from allies to friends and then lovers. Going from allies to friends will take a lot for him as he's used to trusting only a few people. But the last two stages are extremely close because once he considers you a close friend, he will feel more comfortable around you and understood. And so, he will realize that he feels something more for you.

- Look, I'm going to say it, Kid might check you out on multiple occasions because he thinks you're so neat with the tattoos and piercings and overall aesthetic. Plus, the hyperfeminine vibe is a contrast to his liking.

- The fact that you're a bit shy at times and because you have social anxiety, he will be both your lover and your guard in the sense that he'll absolutely wreck anyone who might put you in a nasty situation. No one messes with you without consequences.

- Kid noticed some hints about your traumas and wants to help. However, he's so damn frustrated that he does not know how. He won't tell you anything, not wanting to make you feel uncomfortable. He's just going to let you know that he will always be there for you if you decide to share your past with him. He has been through a lot as well so he knows how that burden feels.

- Please, playfully tease him for enjoying your sweet kind of affection. You'll get to see such a pretty blush on this man's face.

- You both tend to anger quickly and because of this you can either calm one another down or make a sum out of that anger. He won't get angry at you, knowing about your anxious tendency. However, if you ever decide to put yourself in danger, that's when he'll get angry with you.

- I feel like Kid will not admit that he also collects things and that won't stop him from teasing you about it, playfully of course. Jokes aside, I can see him getting really curious about what you're collecting.

-He also enjoys alternative rock from time to time. The moment he enjoys it the most is when he's fixing something in his workshop and your favorite tunes are playing and he can also hear you humming that song.

- Talking about stuff to do in his workshop, he'll love it to have you close by making art as he, again, is fixing something.

- Horror movies? Count him in. He would propose a marathon with you and his whole crew.

[hanawrites404]

Do u have favourite ocs from your mutuals? I know u like Farris but is there any more ocs u simp or like from other friends?

I'm glad you asked, Anon! But get ready because it's a lot uehehehehhe...

@aesopsbaby : I like all of their characters but my favourite has got to be Nathan. I dunno! I like that old-fashioned lover boy vibes lol. I would wanna see more of him.

@naciela : Sir, she is the queen of making hottest characters and this syndrome is so bad that I would have to name a whole list of family whom I like 😭. But for now, I would stick to two of her characters. That is, Li Shui and Raafa.

@kumaronoa : KAI!!!! KAI!!!!! KAI!!!!!

HE IS THE ICON! THE LEGEND! THE MOMENT HIMSELF!!!

and he has a free pass of stepping on me fr. Jen is a legend herself. Good art but also good characters?! Get a load of her!

@babufactory : They are also one of the artist friends whom I really enjoy. I have watched their streams and it's honestly a vibe jam. Of course, I would have to go with Nielh as my favourite. They are a very well-written and sexy character and I love that so damn much.

@boiling-potato : I'm very sorry but I seriously gotta mention the sweet potat herself, okay? Other than Farris, I also enjoy Luke and Cyrus. Talking about the girls, I absolutely adore Ink (and Lunie too. I miss her bitter face fr 😭)

@boundinparchment : Karina My Beloved, please marry me. I have a ring pop to offer~

I mean, yes! Juni's characters are very deep and likeable. I like how much love and effort she puts in all of her characters. It's very intresting and enjoyable to watch them through their stories how they bloom and wilt and bloom bigger than ever! If you are to search ‘character development' in urban dictionary, Juni's name is ought to be there.

@the-soupiest-artist : I!!! ABSOLUTELY!!! ADORE!!! HER!!!! CHARACTER!!! DESIGNS!!!!

There is just something about her art that really draws me in. It's not only the character development but also I love how enthusiastic Layne is! And honestly it would pain me to choose a favourite out of her characters. But if I'm very obliged to, I would take the horny bastard, Sebastièn.

@honey-para : That priest dude from the unholy trinity? He has my heart, sir. He can step on me and drown me in holy water, I will not complain.

Honey can take any fandom and turn it magically sexy by their bomb art, prove me wrong. They have literally sucked me in through their fandom content, it's addictive 😭!!!

@kerwixi : ANOTHER UNDERRATED ARTIST!!! I enjoy their works too!! They have cool character designs and colour schemes. I honestly like Navere the most. And since Fontaine is soon about to arrive, I anticipate him shining more!

@vodyaniks : Crow aesthetic? Check. Lovecraftian elderich horror? Check. The coolest artist around? Check!

Y'all have a full package of a super cool person right here, lovelies! Plus, they have a lot of OCs but my favourite is Maya (pls marry me).

I think that's all I can recall. If I have forgotten anybody, I'm very sorry AHH. If y'all are reading this, I LOVE Y'ALLS OCS AND EACH OF THEM GET A WEDDING RING POP FROM MEEEEEEE!!!!!

[vivisviolets]

hii, participating in game! initials IQ, she/her, female, heterosexual. Love sea, art, books, fashion 💕 i am also libra

IQ 📹💥💗 ⊹♡ The Fool (*flipped exactly sideways*- possibly reversed), Strength (reversed), The Hanged Man, Nine of Wands (bonus card) (reversed), Four of Wands (bottom of deck) ⊹♡ 222, 444, 2424, 1212, Aquarius/Gemini/air placements (degrees, 7th house, Venus/Mars, etc), Cancer/Taurus/Sagittarius (Sun, Moon, Venus/Mars, etc) 2000s/y2k, "music video type of love", pinkpantheress, "lmao", channeled song, Stand - Jewel ⊹♡ they love you so much you have no idea- LMAO- hello my dear, you know what this relationship is giving? friends to lovers, a relationship built on friendship- and not only that but it's also giving ~one-sided pinning~, this is someone who you may know already, or you will know very soon as this seems like a very youthful connection.. but anyways- the way this person will be on your radar will be in a group situation, they may be a friend-of-a-friend or part of the enviorment you're in, this could related to education/workplace but tbh its giving more social circle, like you may have a group of people who hang out in a club/community setting, and that is how you'll catch the eye of this guy coming in. but the thing is- he'll probably not catch your eye at all, you may be in a phase where you're not pouring your energy into romantic partnerships and focusing on your own life (love that it's giving 4 of Swords ❀)- and this could also be your energy is being divinely protected and is being redirected opposite this person's energy- so that he can be the chaser to your attractor energy.<-- this will not be a runner v. chaser dymanic btw, this is Spirit divinely guiding this relationship to be on equal grounds with mutual give and take, to keep you from overgiving, and to allow this person to open his heart space up to give outwardly. and this is so beautiful because real/true love does not burst and explode leaving nothing- but instead burns, slowly, slow-burn. but anyways, going back to taking this slow lol- again, you will not take notice of this person, because you'll already be in a group of people, and you already have several that you give your energy to you have options, and out of a line-up, this person who you've caught the eye of, you could not really describe out of the line-up of people... and again,- you'll really only be focused on creating friendships!

enjoy some diy oracle cards I pulled that resonated heavily with the energy I'm picking up!! now, I will be honest, I think there may be some conflict involving communication, as well as this person's personality- they need some development ngl. and the advice I'm hearing FOR YOU- is to simply be yourself! do not over-extend, or try to "mother" this person, because they need to tap into their own self-responsibly and "man up"- I'm seeing to not give *any* concern if this person distances themselves from you for a time, please don't even think about it- because even if they get with another person, their mind will be on you,- you're honestly giving Rihanna energy with how you have men still thinking of you as "the one", while you're just doing your thing, and doing things for you and you only 💗💖. like I said after the conflict this person will eventually become better due to meeting you- and second chances can be given! because this person does enjoy bringing you fun/exciting experiences and also loves to make you laugh and smile! I see social + creative things you two love to do together like taking pics together, going to clubs/festivals (places with a lot of colorful lights?), doing clothes shopping/thrifting, maybe even diy-ing clothes- lots of style that you two love to bring to the table to one another- cus both of you want to be that "it" couple (and you are ofc) with the matching name-brand/custom outfits lol I think you two can become really close, and honestly grow with each other 💖 truly I see it. but remember to make sure they're *really* sticking with you on this partnership path because, with a rose-gold heart like yours, you are fully deserving of someone who stays alongside you in commitment 🩷. and also Spirit is confirming to you that there will always be someone better if it doesn't turn out, and that you have the inner patience and self-love to see that light at the end of the tunnel- and plus+ that next future partner/soulmate/hubby 💗♡ *i hope this was helpful my darling ♡~ consider leaving a tip on my Patreon if you enjoyed, or follow and become a violet~ doesnt matter to me tho :>~ sending you on your wayyyy, bye bye!!*

[solarwonux]

Love Letter To Miami || Jung Hoseok 

pairing: fashion designer!hobi x latin f!reader || exes to lovers au

Genre: fluff, angst, suggestive, slow burn, 

W.C: 18k

Warnings: slow burn, angst, lots of Miami references, maybe actually a little too much ( I am not sorry I miss home lol) alcohol, language, mentions of pregnancy, arguing. 

Thank you so much to @astronaut-jin-moon​ for beta reading this. It means a lot!

Synopsis: Hoseok unexpectedly uprooted his life in Miami for a chance to chase his life long dream. But he sacrificed the only thing that kept him rooted...you. 

Now, he’s back home after six years. 

AO3

a/n: Hello, I am back after 672389238 years. If you guys didn’t know I moved to the other side of the world on my own for work. I was supposed to finish this and upload it back in March. But settling down was harder than I expected and other factors came into play around April. So, this story is very near and dear to my hear. 

Please let me know your thoughts. I am also thinking about writing a second part. But again I am a full on adult now so it’s a bit harder to write as much as I used to. Still, I have no many ideas please let me know and thank you for taking the time to read this.

Enjoy!

Miami International Airport is Jung Hoseok’s least favorite place in the world.

It has nothing to do with the humidity seeping through the thick concrete walls, the smell of summer rain all year round. Or the crowds of spring breakers ready to ruin the lovely beaches he rarely frequented when growing up.

No, Miami International Airport is Jung Hoseok’s least favorite place in the world because it means he’s back home.

It’s not that Hoseok hates Miami per se. It’s home to his family and best friends, and how could he hate a place that harbor’s many of his favorite people?

Hoseok’s love-hate relationship with The Magic City has nothing to do with his upbringing, but everything to do with feeling out of place everywhere he went. It’s not like he didn’t fit in. Growing up he was loved by everyone, everywhere. His sunshine attitude and bright smile always managed to make everyone’s day a little bit brighter.

At school he wasn’t the odd one out, nor was he bullied for being different because everyone around him was. His classmates came from different backgrounds and different parts of the world. Some–like Hoseok–came from immigrant families, immigrant parents, or were even first-generation immigrants themselves. They flaunted, celebrated their cultures whenever they could, and spoke their native tongue with pride, not fear.

But yet, it wasn’t perfect. Miami, for many people including Jung Hoseok, was a safety bubble, despite the minor prejudices one would face when regarding the older generations. Still, it was safe and that’s why he needed to leave. At some point in his life, the comfort became almost suffocating. He knew the names of each street like the back of his hand. Even the ones he had yet to discover. Everywhere he went, every party he attended there was at least one person that knew of him.

Hell, even the workers at the Regal Kendall Cinema–the setting for his first kiss at fourteen–knew who the fuck he was.

It always started the same way:

“You’re Hoseok, right? Your cousin told my cousin’s friend, who told my friend’s friend, who told me that you’re studying fashion design right?”

It didn’t make sense to him, because Miami wasn’t the smallest place in the world. (See population of 454,279) Yet, somehow everyone just seemed to know each other?

Hoseok didn’t mind it at first. It’s what he was used to growing up. The local Publix workers loved to pinch his chubby cheeks and coo at him as if he were a doll. (He earned a few free cookies that way). He loved basking in the attention. But after the last New Year’s Eve he spent at home, the excitement he would always feel when counting down from ten and eating all twelve grapes the second the clock struck twelve. Seized to exist.

He couldn’t fake one of his dashing smiles any longer. He couldn’t ignore the growing doubt and regret in the pit of his stomach any longer. He felt stuck. Everything around him was slowing down. He was slowing down. Working at Trendy Studio didn’t fill him up with the same amount of joy it first did when he got the job. When his portfolio and designs were accepted with great admiration and care. That’s when he realized that he had finally finished outgrowing Miami.

So, that night after everyone had gone home and to bed. He stayed up, hovered over his desk, nursing a headache due to all four glasses of champagne he had snuck and practically chugged after his realization. He submitted his work resume anywhere he could find available. The only criteria was that it had to be far away from his safety net; Miami.

Here’s the thing. He was entirely surprised that he hadn’t had this realization sooner. As a child whenever Hoseok dreamed and envisioned his future, Miami, Florida was never a part of it. It was such a clear vision to him. Everything he did, every straight-A, every AP class, every college acceptance letter, every goal and award he received in life was meant to get him out. That is until he met you and his crystal clear vision of his future was replaced by you.

Well, let’s backtrack, it wasn’t exactly the moment he first laid eyes on you. Hoseok had known you far longer than he had loved you. You went to the same elementary, middle, and high school as him. Sometimes you even shared a class with him. To make matters worse, you went to the same ballet studio as his older sister–Jiwoo–did. And for years, until you turned fifteen and spontaneously quit; his mother–bless her heart–would give you a ride to the studio while your parents were too busy running the quaint gift store they named after you. Their pride and joy–next to your little brother of course–and the reason they made the life-altering move from Colombia to Miami when you were just two years old.

Hoseok grew up with you. He always thought of you as Jiwoo’s annoying best friend. He went to every single one of your ballet recitals. (He has no idea how he was able to sit through the Nutcracker every year.) He went to every single one of your dance competitions after you joined the school’s dance team with his sister. He saw you at your absolute worst; the hideous bob cut, the acne, the first time you got your period the summer before seventh grade, and the depressing year after you turned fifteen. He saw it all but never thought about it twice.

So, it surely came to him as a surprise when you kissed him in your backyard the day before the start of a new chapter; college.

After Jiwoo moved out years prior, the two of you surprisingly got closer. You found solace in him and in turn, he found it in you. Talks about hopes and dreams happened way more often than they should’ve, especially when filling out applications together. The two of you planned to move out and far away, but luck was never on either of your sides. Or maybe it was faith’s twisted way of bringing the two of you together, but neither of your families had the sufficient funds to be able to send you elsewhere. The money earned during part-time jobs, or the scholarships weren’t enough. So, at the last minute, the two of you applied for an in-state university. One that was fifteen minutes away from both of your homes, and got in. Staying together with not just each other but with your family and childhood friends.

Inseparable; until death do us apart…or something like that.

The romance didn’t bloom right away. For days you didn’t speak to him. Not even when he was doing you the favor of driving you to school. It wasn’t until weeks later when Namjoon called you out on your odd behavior around his best friend. You budged and confessed your lifelong crush on your best friend’s little brother.

To say that Hoseok’s ego wasn’t inflated would be an understatement. He felt like a King ready to rule a kingdom. It sparked something inside of him that for the better part of his life remained dormant until the night that you kissed him. It only got worse upon hearing your confession, prompting him to do the one thing he could think of, and he asked you out.

Hoseok had only gone on a number of first dates before you, but he made sure to pull out all the stops. The bouquet of roses much to your dismay was the first one. Then came the dinner at The Cheesecake Factory at Dolphin Mall, topping it off with the movie at the cinema just an escalator ride away. He even did the whole fake yawn, arm over the shoulders thing, and paid for the whole night.

No wonder he couldn’t afford college.

You didn’t make the effort to kiss him that night, leaving him utterly speechless and disappointed. For a second he thought he had fucked everything up. After going home he laid awake in bed, thinking of where he had gone wrong. Then his phone vibrated next to him with a text from you thanking him for the entire night. It erased all thoughts of failure and disappointment that he had. His heart swelled in his chest as he read the text over and over and over. Memorizing it to the point of reciting it word for word. Soon he was imagining a whole future with you, settling and forgetting his plans of leaving and never coming back.

It’s crazy how life works because he left. Six years ago to be exact and now he’s back. Not by choice but by obligation as best man to Park Jimin. As much as he wanted to decline the offer, he couldn’t do that to one of his best friends. Especially when it was Park Jimin–Mr. Casanova, Number One Heartbreaker of the 21st Century, Mr. I’m Never Settling Down, I’m Going to Be A Sugar Daddy When Grow Up–Park Jimin. He was finally tying the knot. And of course, it had to be to your cousin–Nathalie–of all people. It doesn’t stop there because to overcomplicate things further, you just had to be the maid of honor.

Jung Hoseok knew the decision he made in accepting the internship with Vogue Australia would have its pros and cons. One of the cons, the biggest one in his opinion, was that he had to move to the other side of the world. He had to make the choice in staying in his comfort bubble with his family, with his friends, with you. Or leave the only life he had ever known behind and start over in a foreign place like his parents did. It wasn’t easy, mainly because the issue lied in telling you.

So he chose not to. Not his best move, he admits, but he didn’t know what else to do. He spent weeks practicing whatever he wanted to say to you in the mirror. Yet, whenever he tried he just couldn’t. You were going through a hard time, and he didn’t want to add to all the troubles you were facing. Though he’s not sure how you finding out through your mother, who was told by his mother in a conversation entirely made up of Korean, Spanish, and broken English would’ve helped. He’s also not sure how refusing to answer your questions when you came running into the airport while he was in the line to check-in would’ve helped either. He also supposes that breaking off a five-year relationship entirely, after walking away and never looking back didn’t help either.

But he did that, and he had six years to repent for his sins. Probably more if Jimin hadn’t decided to switch it up on everyone and get married. He wasn’t ready. Six years away. Six years he spent watching his parent’s age through his phone screen. Six years in which he missed the birth of his first two nieces. Six years in which he secretly texted your mother every once in a while to see how you were; wasn’t enough to prepare him.

The twenty-hour flight wasn’t enough.

Your anger was one of his biggest fears because it was silent until you couldn’t hold it anymore and would explode. You had six years of anger, silently brewing inside of you. All directed towards him just like he deserved, and he wasn’t ready for any of it. Not the last-minute fittings, the bachelor party,  the rehearsal dinner, the wedding. Not the gawking from strangers that somehow knew him. The familiar streets he spent years driving down, or the spring breakers getting ready to destroy his beaches. Not his parents, his friends, or you.

Perhaps, he lied before. Miami International Airport is Jung Hoseok’s least favorite place in the world because it means he’s closer to you and the future with you that he selfishly left behind.  

Spring Break is the worst time of the year.

Not only are the normally overly crowded areas, more crowded than usual. But your hometown is filled with outsiders coming to destroy the most precious part of the city.

The beaches. Or more specially Miami Beach.

Now, it’s not like you actually liked going to the beach per say. There were a lot of factors to consider. For example the heat,  the humidity, and the white sand sticking onto your body like second skin due to the copious amounts of sunblock you’d lather yourself in. But most importantly it was the parking cost at Ocean Drive.

In your humble opinion $8 dollars was too much.

But watching the news during Spring Break broke your heart more than usual. College students let loose littering the streets and beaches. Taking advantage of their week of freedom to get drunk as hell and start destroying property left and right. The beach wasn’t your second home like most Miamians but it still held a special place in your heart.

Why Jimin and Nathalie wanted to get married during the most horrifying event of the year—next to Halloween of course—was beyond you. They’re both spontaneous and a little insane so it was poetically on brand for them. Still, you really wish they would’ve waited at least a week.

“This is going to be a disaster.” You mumble to yourself, slumping back on Jimin and Nathalie’s couch.

They invited you over to discuss wedding plans over pizza and ice cream, which ceased to exist. They had been all loved up in the light pink love seat of their living room, leaving you to witness it like a fly on the wall in pure and utter disgust.

Sometimes you think they do this on purpose. Invite you over with a promise of something only to rub it in that they’re completely head over heels for each other. It’s as if they were telling you to go out and find someone. But it’s not your fault that you’ve tried and all the men you’ve met are complete asshole’s, who don’t understand that in order to be friends with benefits. You have to do the friend part first.

“No, don't tell her yet.” Nathalie says doing a terrible job at keeping her voice low enough for you to hear. Though, you weren’t paying attention to anything they were saying earlier. You are now. And you have a terrible suspicion that they were talking about you.

“Tell me what?” You lift your head up enough to see them. Frozen in their embrace exchanging wide eyed looks and silently yelling at each other.

Jimin groans in annoyance, throwing his head back hitting the back side of the love seat. “I told you, you were being too loud.” He all but whines, throwing an arm over his eyes dramatically.

“I thought she was sleeping.” She retaliates by hitting his chest lightly, making him flinch.

You sit up crossing your arms. “She is still here. What aren’t you going to tell me yet?”

Nathalie clicks her tongue and stands up. “It’s not that important. Only that Hoseok just arrived in Miami and his parents are picking him up.” She shrugs her shoulders in nonchalance, strutting her way to the kitchen.

Oh.

“And he’s coming over later for pizza and ice cream and wedding stuff.” Jimin chuckles awkwardly at the end.

Oh.

With the way he has his eyes completely trained behind you. You know him and Nathalie are having a silent discussion. But that didn’t matter because your ex boyfriend. The person you once loved with all of your heart and you now loathe was coming and they didn’t want to tell you?

“I see.” You fall back on the couch again. Your silence is loud and it’s a little bit frightening at how well you took the news, they seemed to think. It’s indicated with the sighs of relief they both let out simultaneously. What they don’t know is that inside you’re completely falling apart.

It’s the weight of the situation, and you need to come up with an excuse fast in case he shows up in the next five minutes and you’re still here.

“Oh looks like I have to go. I forgot to feed my cat.”

You don’t have a cat and they know that so that excuse is off the table.

“Oh god. I totally forgot that I needed to clean my apartment.”

No, that one wouldn’t work. They know you strictly clean your apartment on Sundays to start the week anew. And it’s Friday night. Fuck!

In the end though, you pick the worst excuse out of the book. “No, it’s Friday. I forgot mom wanted me home for dinner since Danny is visiting from college.” You stand up, furrowing your brows so they know you’re serious. But you know them as well as you know your brother. And they know that he won’t be in town for another five days, which is why he can’t attend the wedding. But you won’t let them see you falter.

Your escape was now or never.

“Babes.” Nathalie sighs, dropping her hands to the side. Her face is morphed into pity and you hate that it is, because you know she’s only looking at you like that because Hoseok was mentioned. “You don’t have to leave, Jimin can tell him to come over tomorrow.”

You scoff brushing her off whilst grabbing your things from the coffee table. “Nah, it’s fine. I have things to do anyway. Joon is having a new artist come in and record soon. So I want to get the paperwork done as fast as possible.” Huh, maybe you should’ve used work as the excuse. It would’ve been more believable. They know you absolutely love your job at RKIVE RECORDS and they know that Namjoon—your boss—tends to overwork you sometimes.  They would’ve bought it in an instant. Plus they don’t need to know that you’ve finished the paperwork before coming over.

“But we still have to discuss the bachelorette party.” She pouts, clasping her hands in front of her begging like a child.

You offer a smile, grabbing your purse. “Drinks tomorrow at my place and we can discuss it then.” You walk towards her, tapping her nose lightly before looking back at Jimin who’s looking at you with equal amounts of pity.

God, when will this nightmare end.

You face Nathalie again, putting one hand over your mouth like you’re about to share your deepest darkest secret with her and use your thumb to point behind you.“We don’t want him to listen to how wild the night is going to be.” You joke, making his ears perk up.

“Hey, I said no stri—“

“Goodbye Jimin, I love you.” You say, stuffing your feet inside your shoes at their entrance. Opening the door before they continue their protests.

Needless to say, you're relieved that Hoseok is not standing on the other side when you do. You have a lot that you want to say to him. Six years worth of things that you’ve been wanting to say to him. But you wouldn’t know where to start. And yes, ignoring him would be impossible, but at least you’d have one more day to get all your thoughts in check.

This wedding was going to be a disaster.

Hoseok doesn’t know what he was expecting when he came over to Jimin’s place but it certainly wasn’t the cold shoulder and menacing glares from your cousin.

The discomfort settled deep within him as soon as he sat on the couch, sipping on the vanilla latte he had bought when exiting the airport. His parents had picked him up, tears filled their eyes as they reunited with tight hugs. Despite the jet lag he was currently experiencing and his mother’s protests to please go home with them so she can cook him the best home cooked meal in the world.

Hoseok still ended up at Jimin’s place, which now he wishes he hadn’t, but he had to attend to best man duties. Something about Jimin wanting to check his best man speech for the rehearsal dinner, just in case.

The trust his best friend had in him was miniscule. Hoseok had reassured the now blonde that he didn’t add anything embarrassing or widely inappropriate to the speech. It was mainly because he wasn’t done with it. But even if he was done, the idea of letting the entire world know that Jimin once had a threesome in a public jacuzzi back in college had not crossed his mind.

Maybe once.

“How’s Australia treating you?”

Hoseok jumps at the sound of Jimin’s voice. He’d been so focused in his thoughts and Nathalie’s glares that he had practically forgotten about the groom in the room.

He clears his throat, “It’s wonderful, I never want to leave.” He responds, setting down his empty cup on a coaster on the coffee table.

Nathalie scoffs before standing up in what seems to be like a protest, making Hoseok’s eyebrows come together at the center of his forehead. His mother’s home cooked meal sounds way better now than before.

Jimin sighs, watching his fiance make her way to the dining room before turning to face Hoseok. “Don’t mind her, she's stressed about the wedding.” He says, offering him an almost forced smile.

Hoseok sighs before leaning into the couch further, his nose jumping at the slightly familiar perfume it picks up. A scent he’s all but avoided for years, but still lives permanently implanted in his brain. It smells like you. Well you mixed with a hint of another cologne. A much manlier one than he’s ever worn, but he doesn’t let his mind dwell on that for too. It’s the only thing that lets him know that you could have possibly been here in the same spot he was in earlier. It helps him understand Nathalie’s coldness towards him.

He can’t stop himself from asking. “Jimin, I’ve been away for six years. I’m not stupid. She was here right? He leans his elbows against his thighs, peering at Jimin sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table.

The blonde sighs before throwing his head back in frustration. Sometimes he wishes his life was easier and drama free. Then again this was better than the new season of The Bachelor. “Naty and her were supposed to discuss bachelorette ideas since they’re both finally free. But she left as soon as she heard you were coming.” He confesses with a long deep sigh and Hoseok can’t help but feel awful.

Obviously he’s not forgotten what he did to you. It’s something that lives permanently rent free in his mind. He was a coward then and a coward now.

“You should’ve told me I would’ve come by another day.”

Jimin smirks only a little. Enough to know that he had been plotting something all along. “Kinda wanted to see the two of you in the same room before the rehearsal dinner. I love the two of you very much but you were the biggest douchebag for what you did to her and she’s obviously still angry. So maybe if you guys met beforehand you would just hash it out here and the rest of the week would run smoothly.” He shrugs in nonchalance that it almost fires Hoseok up.

Of course, he’s not going to admit that out of all the ideas Jimin has had in his life. This one seemed pretty reasonable. The only problem is, that it would've blindsided the two of you if you hadn’t found out that he was coming. And he’s sure that Jimin would’ve had to find a new best man to replace him if his plan had played out exactly the way he wanted it to.

“You’re fucking insane Jimin. Do you want to see me dead?” He says shrugging, leaning back into the couch again. His head swarming with thoughts of you, your smile and your laugh, and he’s come to realize that a part of him is a little disappointed that you weren’t here ready to murder him.

“I mean you deserve it.” Jimin chuckles before shutting his laptop and leaning his arms on top of it. “Your speech is fucking awful by the way.”

Hoseok springs up, arms up in the air in confusion. “Hey! I’ve worked on that thing for three weeks and made the revisions you asked for.” He counteracts. His frustration causes Jimin to finally break into a fit of laughter, making Hoseok pout.

“That’s the problem.” He says after calming down. “It’s too formal now. There’s no personality.”

Hoseok crosses his arms in front of him in protest. “I’m not rewriting it.”

“I didn’t ask you to rewrite it. I’m just saying maybe add something to make it more Hobi. Right now it reads like it was written by the fucking Duke of England or something.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” He sighs in defeat.

“I’m telling you he’s not as attractive as he used to be.” Nathalie yells over the sound of your blow dryer. She’s sitting behind you on your bed, scrolling through her many pinterest boards. This one is named Appropriate Bachelorette Party Ideas.

Sadly, strippers dressed as firefighters were officially out of the question. But the penis shaped cake was not. Nor were the little penis straws and balloons. This all being your mom, her mom and Jimin’s mom’s idea. You swore their minds permanently lived in the gutter.

You shut off your blow dryer, placing it on the ground in front of you. “You don’t have to lie to me. Mom follows him on Instagram and she sends me pictures sometimes.” You grin at her through your full length mirror. “I’ve always known he was going to age like fine wine.” You joke, earning an eye roll from your cousin.

“He’s not even thirty. That saying doesn’t apply to him yet.” She shakes her head, turning her attention to her laptop again. “My statement still stands, he's not that good looking anymore.” She mumbles more to herself as she scrolls, making you laugh lightly.

You stand up, your hair half blown out and the other wet and curling. “You don’t have to lie to yourself just cause you’re being loyal to me.” You sit next to her on your bed. “You and I both know that he’s the best looking one out of our friend group.” You say bumping your shoulder against hers.

She looks up in alert, almost as if offended. “I think you’ve mistaken him for Jimin.” She scoffs, eyes full of hearts. This had been an ongoing joke between the two of you for years. Even before Hoseok left and she and Jimin got together. Back then her infatuation with Jimin was nothing but a school girl crush. So imagine your surprise when she told you months after they slept together that they were secretly seeing each other.

It had kept you up all night. Mainly because oddly it made you miss Hoseok. A feeling you had pushed away since the moment he turned around at the airport leaving you in tears. A feeling that returned last night as you met up with Yoongi for the third time in the span of a week. Nothing he did could get you out of your head so after many failed attempts of trying his hardest to give you the big O. The two of you just sat in your bed and talked.

Friends with benefits with more friends than benefits is the best way you could describe your relationship with the well renowned producer. He was a great listener and gave great advice and last night he had told you to just give Hoseok a piece of your mind. Even gave you some pointers. Some that you would take and some that you would totally avoid.

Like having hate sex.

You don’t hate Hoseok. You resent him. Plus wasn’t having sex with an ex something you should one hundred precent avoid?

“Whatever, I’m tired of boy talk Naty. Can we finally start planning before the mom’s take over and give us penis shaped everything.” You practically whine leaning your head against her shoulder, only to have her shove you off.

“Only if you agree to wear the lavender strappy dress.”

“But I can’t breathe in that dress. It’s so fucking tight.” You cross your arms in front of you pouting. She stays unfazed, scrolling through her pinterest board, your eyes pick up on makeshift photo booths. All with different themes.

“Idiot, it’s only for the pictures. Then we can change into our sweats and eat all the sweets.”

“I can’t believe you’re convinced that the moms won’t take us out to the club that day. It’s like you don’t know them at all.”

Nathalie rolls her eyes before putting her laptop to the side and turning to face you, putting both hands on your cheeks and squishing them. “Oh I know what they’re going to do. I overheard my mom and your mom on a three way call with Jimin’s mom the other day while I was over. They have it all planned out. But I’m limiting them to one club, so please wear the dress.”

You sigh, shoving her hands away standing up. “It’s like I didn’t grow up with you. I know one club means like five in your head.” You say walking to your full length mirror and sitting down on the floor again. “Fine, but that means I’m cutting you off after three drinks. I don’t want you hungover at the rehearsal dinner.”

“With how things are going with you. I think it will be the other way around.”

Hoseok doesn’t miss clubbing and he doesn’t miss clubbing in Miami. Most importantly he doesn’t miss clubbing in Miami during spring break.

It’s awful here. E11EVEN has never looked more crowded. There’s barely space to walk, or breathe. The humidity doesn’t help either.

It’s been two days since he’s arrived in Miami. And his days have been filled with fixing his sleep schedule. Helping his mom around the house and staring at the blank document that’s supposed to contain his best man speech.

He can’t write anything. All his best ideas have been turned down by the groom himself. He has no fucking idea how to make something more Hobi. He just is Hobi. Truly, he wishes he never came back home. His days have been filled with nothing but disappointment and memories he’d rather forget. Just last night he went for a walk around the block and ran into your mother walking your family dog, who coddled him to no end. Acting like he didn’t betray her only daughter.

Acting like he was still part of the family.

She talked his ear off for almost an hour and nothing Hoseok did to get away worked. It also didn’t help that your family and his were neighbors. So escaping home wasn’t an excuse because then they’d just end up walking the same way.

It was good to see her though. She still looked the same with some new wrinkles here and there, but still the same.

Now, he’s at a club with Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung, all celebrating the groom’s bachelor death. Something none of them saw coming. Needless to say he’s overwhelmed. His sleep schedule still needs a good fix and the music is blaring against his eardrums, so he can’t think properly. Though, it’s probably due to the fact that he’s a little over four drinks in and well on his fifth one.

It’s too early to tell if he’ll regret this later on, but a part of him is sensing it already.

“We have to go.” Jungkook yells over the music as he leans over the table with his forearms. The rest of the men sitting in a booth babysitting their drinks with absolutely no energy to go out onto the dance floor unlike the youngest who's been breaking a sweat every time his favorite song comes on.

His words catch their attention and Jimin sits up straighter than before. “Why?” He yells, cupping his hands over his mouth like that’s going to help him with volume. It doesn’t, but somehow the younger male picks up on his confusion.

“The girls are here. I just saw Tae’s wife trying to twerk.” He says turning to face the brunette. “Sorry dude, she kinda sucks at it.” He adds apologetically, earning an eye roll from the man in question.

“Don’t look at her then.” He retorts, crossing his arms in front of him, turning to face the crowd in an obvious search for his wife of three years.

Jimin though springs up fast, standing on his toes with a huge smile on his face. “I knew they were going to come here. This is the club Nathalie and I hooked up in, in the bathroom.” He says like it’s the best love story in the world and not the most unhygienic one. Though, Hoseok can’t judge. Once post break up he had sex with some random girl in a dirty bathroom club. Worst experience of his life. One he will never ever ever bring up again.

“Dude, the whole point of a Bachelor party is to not meet your future wife at hers.” Jungkook yells in annoyance, taking his bottom lip in between his teeth, playing with his lip ring.

“Who fucking cares.” This time it’s Taehyung who speaks, standing up and checking his reflection in the black vinyl wrapped column behind him. No doubt ready to go hit on his wife. It’s entirely obvious that Jimin has the same idea because the second he spots his fiancé wearing a pink beaded necklace with a bunch of tiny penises dangling around it. He’s running out onto the dance floor with Taehyung trailing closely behind.

Jungkook plops down next to Hoseok sighing in defeat. “We’ve lost them, they’re fucking whipped man.” He shakes his head, placing his elbows in front of him on the table.

“Yeah.” Hoseok answers halfheartedly. He doesn’t mean to give Jungkook such a half assed answer but he’s finally spotted you. Finally saw you in person for the first time in six years, laughing at the way Nathalie and Taehyung’s wife jumped when their significant others snuck up on them. Both of them earned well deserved hard slaps against their chest.

You’re wearing the most beautiful dress. Lavender and strappy and it hugs your body just right. He notices that you look a bit more skinnier than before and it makes his heart sink a little because grabbing onto you was his favorite thing in the world. Still you look so good. So damn good that he’s starting to regret ever leaving for Australia in the first place and finally starting to enjoy the fact that he’s back home.

That is until your eyes meet his. And they’re only met with one thing.

Pure solicited rage.

Hoseok gulps and quickly downs his drink. Already mapping out a route so he can get his sixth one.

Jungkook whistles next to him, slapping an arm around his shoulder making Hoseok jump. “I saw that, you’re fucked dude.” He laughs nervously, patting his shoulder gently. The action lacks all the comfort in the world. But it’s a nice gesture? He thinks.

“Trust me I know.”

You’ve managed to avoid Hoseok for a good thirty minutes. After meeting his eyes for a brief second you did everything in your power to disappear, pushing your way to the bar.

That is until a gin and tonic appears in front of you.

“Yoongs, I didn't order this.” You look up. The smirk you’ve come to know well over countless nights of meaningless pleasure, greets you. The cute bartender was the reason why you convinced Nathalie to come here tonight. He was in your bed last night and always gave you and the girls free drinks because of your very transactional relationship with him.

Yoongi shrugs, placing the white rag over his shoulders and leaning against the bar with his elbows. “I know but he did.” He nods his head towards the left, making you shift your gaze in that direction. Only to regret it when your eyes find Hoseok’s behind his yellow tinted shades.

He looks different, a different kind of different. A different that screams expensive. Dripping with confidence. “Don’t leave me here alone, Yoongi.” You rush out. He catches onto the panic laced behind your voice and that only makes him smile wider.

He leans into you, lips hovering over your ears. “Can’t believe you’ve replaced me already. Was last night really that bad?” He jokes, before pushing himself away from the counter and the drink towards you, walking away.

He’s cynical.

You groan, threading your fingers through your hair in frustration. “Don’t do that you’re going to mess up your hair.” You jump, Hoseok now standing next to you leaning against the bar, looking everywhere but you.

“Doesn’t matter, nights’ already ruined anyway.” You sigh, grabbing a hold of your drink and taking a sip. You’d be an idiot to decline a free drink.

“Ouch, that hurt.”

You ignore him, making him fall silent. The music pounding around the two of you, acting as a buffer for the awkwardness floating around the two of you. All the things you’ve been wanting to say to him since that night disappear with your confidence. Drowned out by the two gin and tonics you drank earlier.

And just like always, Hoseok breaks the silence.

At least one thing is still the same.

“You look nice.” He says, leaning in slightly for you to hear him. His glass of whisky sits untouched in between his hands.

“Thanks.” You answer, placing your drink down and finally turning to face him.

Mistake number one.

He looks better up close and unfamiliar which makes your stomach drop a little. Once upon a time you always believed that no matter what. Hoseok would always be someone familiar to you. Now, you’re being proved wrong and because you never admit defeat. You’re blaming it on the alcohol, his simple black t-shirt, light washed jeans and the orange tinted glasses, sitting on the bridge of his nose.

“You too.”

This is awkward. More awkward than what the two of you expected, because a part of Hoseok and you still assumed that everything would be the same. Regardless of what happened. It was a conversation the two of you would often have. Full of what if’s, and false fantasies. That ended up becoming reality.

“How have you been?” This time it's you who breaks the silence, catching Hoseok off guard. That much is obvious since his eyes grow wide. You’ve never been one to initiate a conversation. At least not during the first few months of your relationship. The minute you started getting comfortable with him. Nothing in the world could shut you up and your tangents about everything and anything.

He takes a sip from his drink. And it burns down his throat. Obvious that it wasn’t very diluted. “I’ve been good.” He shrugs, mentally slapping himself because that is what he could come up with? A generic ass answer when he has endless stories about the last six years, that he’s always been wanting to tell you.

“And you?” He clears his throat, setting his glass down and running his index finger over the rim.

You nod, biting down on your straw in contemplation. Small talk was never your forte but it is your fault for starting it up.

You should have run away the second Yoongi placed the drink in front of you. You would’ve dealt with the embarrassment later. It would’ve been better than your current situation.

“I’ve been good too.” You answer, nodding, folding your hands on top of the bar, shifting your eyes from his, to his nose and then the wall of expensive liquor behind the bar.

“That’s good, I’m happy you’re doing well.” He all but whispers and it's amazing how you’re still able to hear him over the loud thumping of the bass. “Do you come here a lot?” Another stupid question. He might as well just publish a whole book series on them, because apparently he’s filled with a lot. Can you blame him? Yes, you can because he didn’t have to come to you. He could’ve stayed with Jungkook and listened to him complain about how he isn't pulling enough girls like usual. Or he could’ve found you.

So, he chose to do the latter. And now he’s regretting it. Only a little bit though. You look so pretty in your lilac dress, your cheekbones, arms and cleavage sparkling with the kind of glitter usually used for music festivals. Letting him know that your kid-like spirit is still alive. Something he feared you would lose on the night he left you broken and pleading on the airport floor.

His guilty conscience will never let himself forget it.

“I don’t.” You finally answer, pushing your drink away. In a different circumstance you would’ve finished it. Now, finishing it would be a mistake because once it was empty he would order you another one. Not necessarily trying to get you drunk. He knew your limit better than yourself, but more out of chivalry.

“Oh, then how do you know the bar guy?”

You should’ve known this question was going to come. Yoongi always made sure everyone knew you and him were somehow intertwined. Whether it was subtly or in the most obvious way possible.

“Work.” You say, like it's the most obvious thing, but then when you spot the confusion written all over Hoseok’s face. You realize that what you just said didn’t make sense at all, so you clear your throat to clarify. “Yoongi is a producer at RKIVE, he only bartends on the weekends for his brother.”

“Ah, that makes sense as to why the two of you are so close.”

“We aren’t that close.” You say, waving him off. It’s a lie, he’ll be able to know that it’s a lie with one look. Which is why you avoid his eyes all together.

“Please he’s basically eating me alive right now with one look.” He scoffs, taking another sip of his whisky. He usually only drinks one but maybe today’s the day he makes some changes. “And he smells like you.” He adds, hardening his face to keep himself from pouting.

“Okay, so maybe we hook up sometimes.” You say, raising your voice a little bit. “Why does that matter to you?”

Hoseok grips his glass with one hand, while pushing his glasses up with his other one. “You’re right it doesn’t matter to me.” He says before standing up from the barstool. Rethinking his choices and reasonings from before. He definitely regrets coming up to you. He was already suspicious about your relationship with the bartender, when he saw him lean into you a little too close for his own comfort. Hearing the confirmation come from your mouth makes him feel even worse. Then again, this is all his fault and his price to pay.

He should’ve just stayed with Jungkook.

The neon lights and cigarette smoke are distorting his reality. Hoseok thinks.

Are your arms really wrapped around his neck, reeling him in? Or is this a figment of his imagination? Is your body so close to his that he can smell the scent of your perfume?

Daisy by Marc Jacobs

It’s still the same and it's driving him insane. Apart from the heat of your body dancing so close to him. His hands are on your waist. Like they belong there, because they once did.

He’s not sure if you're conscious about what you’re doing. If your smile is a fake one or not. If you’re letting the lights, the music, the smoke, the alcohol that you consumed–provided by your kind friend Yoongi–is also distorting your reality. If that’s the case. He should be the bigger person and push you away. You get touchy and needy when drunk, making a part of you want him right now. He knows that when the sun is up and you’re a bit more sober, you won’t want him anymore.

Still, it feels good to be wanted by you again. None of the others that came after you could compare to what you would make him feel back then. What he is currently feeling right now.

On top of the world, wearing rose colored glasses to hide away from his reality.

“Let’s get out of here.” You lean closer to his ear, yelling over the music. A weird remix of Usher’s DJ’s Got Us Falling In Love Again.

How fitting.

He should say no. You don’t want this, he knows this. But his heart is yelling louder than the pounding of the bass against his eardrums. So, he caves into his desires, knowing very well he will suffer during the morning after.

“Okay,” He agrees, pulling you closer, letting your head fall against his shoulder.

Karma is going to come for him just like he deserves.

When Hoseok left, he left everything he could ever want behind. His parents, his sister, his cousins, his dog, his friends and his future with you. That’s why he closed himself off. For the longest time he lived on auto pilot.

Gym, work, home. Hit the clubs every Friday to Sunday and sleep with someone new almost every weekend. There were no feelings involved. He never allowed himself that luxury because they were all left behind when he boarded the plane. He never treated his weekend conquests like they were pieces of gum on the bottom of his shoes. A luxury weekend away in one of those fancy five star hotels. Penthouse suite and all. They dined like kings and queens, took advantage of the room service, mini fridge and luxury spa. He made sure they felt special for at least a little while. And plus there was an unspoken rule. Everyone involved knew that nothing more would come out of the weekend.

So maybe he’s just confused. Or maybe he forgot how to be with someone that he genuinely likes, because you're straddling his lap, with your lips attached to his neck. And he genuinely is frozen with his hands by his side, and his heart in his throat. He only knows that he is still alive because he can smell the alcohol from your breath.

“Why are you acting so weird?” You pull away, flipping your hair to the side and resting your palms on top of his chest. You’re aware that sleeping with your ex is a hard no in the rule book. Especially one that absolutely destroyed you. But tonight you don’t care. Yoongi was an asshole earlier and Hoseok looks so good. Your moral compass might be five steps out the door. But after tonight.

After the wedding.

Hoseok will go back to Australia and you will go back to lying to yourself. Sleeping with Yoongi because you’re trying so hard to avoid the heartbreak Hoseok caused you, instead of confronting it like you should.

“I’m not, it’s just–” He stops, bringing his eyes up to your face. He’s searching, he has that look on his face. The one you know so well because whenever he didn’t know what to say he would just look at you, eyes running between yours and past them, searching for the right thing to say.

“Haven’t slept with anyone in the past ten years?” You quirk an eyebrow.

It finally clicks , his face morphs into disbelief before gently pushing you off his lap, leaving you stunned, confused and a little bit heartbroken. Maybe he didn’t want you after all. The reality check kicked in, hitting you harder than it should have as he rolled his eyes while standing up. It should’ve been your signal to just shut your mouth, but you are stubborn. A fact you and Hoseok know very well.

“Hit a nerve didn’t I?” You sit up on the once perfectly made bed, tugging your knees in and wrapping your arms around them, avoiding his gaze. Maybe you didn’t want to see the evident anger in them or maybe you didn’t want to know the truth. That he actually found solace in someone else that wasn’t you. So you braced yourself for the hit in your gut.

It never comes. Instead he lets out a sigh, the bed dips next to you, making you look up at him again. His angry eyes morphing into understanding as he props himself up against the headboard. “I was nervous about seeing you again.” He whispers, looking down at the white duvet. The tiny stitches serve as his focal point. “I didn’t know what to expect, I didn’t know if I should say hi or ignore you. I didn’t know if I should go up to you and ask you how you were. Or if I should apologize for what I did even if it was six years too late. But I saw you tonight and I completely forgot myself.” He confesses, shaking his head lightly, letting out an almost soundless chuckle.

“W-”

Hoseok holds his hand up, stopping you from continuing whatever you were going to say. Something he never dared to do when you were together. He always let you speak your mind and get your word in before he said something himself. He valued your opinion and never let you run away from your emotions. But that was six years ago, this is now. And the now Hoseok was completely different in every sense of the word..

“Leaving you behind was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. It wasn’t leaving my mom, dad, Jiwoo or the guys, it was you. I tried telling you many times, but I just couldn’t, because we were talking about getting married and the names for our kids and the nice little house by our parents houses. And it was suffocating. I couldn’t stay here but I couldn’t take you with me either. Your life was already here, that dream that you had of going somewhere else was gone because of me, and the comfort we found in each other. So, I couldn’t tell you and I couldn’t leave you and the only solution I saw was to just disappear.” He finishes, finally looking up at you. He knew what he was going to find and the anger was burning brightly. Even though you were older, you were still the same firecracker he grew up and fell in love with.

You scoff, “You’re unbelievable.” You stand up, fixing your dress, shaking your head. “You’re so fucking unbelievable it makes me want to scream.” You walk up to the window, a humorless laugh escaping your now smudged blood red lips. “I was fucking miserable after you left, and I can’t believe that you’ve actually convinced yourself that you did the right thing by not telling me. Do you think I wouldn’t have let you go? Do you think I would’ve begged you to not leave me like some hopeless little girl? Because you’re so wrong.” You turn around, arms crossed in front of your chest, pulling in tighter for comfort. “I didn’t want to have this conversation now or maybe ever. I don’t want to say something I don’t mean because of all the anger I have towards you that’s just been inside of me for the past six years. But let's have it because you have no idea how much I truly do hate you.”

The bite shouldn’t have hurt as much as it did, he thought he was over you. He thought he was healed enough to hear you say the one word he hoped he’d never have to hear come out of your mouth. Yet, there it was, lingering in the air like poison.

“You didn’t do me any favor by not telling me. Instead, you destroyed me. I spent so long searching for answers by myself because you wouldn’t answer any of my texts, calls or emails. All I wanted was some sort of explanation so I could stop the hate that I have for you from growing even further. And I couldn’t, instead I just let it grow.” You wrap your arms around yourself tighter, swallowing hard to keep your voice from trembling due to all the different emotions growing inside of you. “And it took me so long to just accept the fact that you never really loved me as much as I loved you.”

“That’s not true, I–”

You hold up your hand just like he had done to you. You let him have the floor but now it was your turn, “No you didn’t because if you did you wouldn’t have left the way you did. You wouldn’t have pretended like I didn’t exist when I was simply just asking for an explanation that day. You wouldn’t have ignored me because it felt better to not confront your mistake.”

“I couldn’t stay, I was fucking dying knowing I was going to die in a place I never considered home.” He said, breaking his composure, finally letting the screw of the bottle break loose.

“And do you think I ever considered this place my home?” You throw your hands up in the air. “I didn’t go to New York for school because of you, I turned down the scholarship to my dream school because of you but I had somehow convinced myself that because I had you I would always be home even if it meant being stuck in the suburbs of Miami for the rest of my life. It brought me comfort that maybe one day together we could decide to leave everything behind and just go. But we didn’t ever get the chance to explore that topic because you already had a plan for your future and it never involved me.”

“You don’t know how wrong you are.” Hoseok bites back standing up. The bed keeps the two of you apart. He wasn’t oceans away anymore, but somehow he felt even farther from you now that he was in the same room as you. It was stupid to expect that everything was going to be fine. “Even now, after ten years you’re still the only one I see myself growing old with. I fucked up, I was young, but I’ve had many sleepless nights beating myself up about it. I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not telling you, I’m sorry for thinking that maybe your life would be so much better without me. I’m sorry for not feeling guilty after I realized how much happier I was in Australia, but even then I still wish I had you with me. And I will always want you with me.” He breathes out, rounding the corner of the bed, finally standing in front of you.

“I will never stop being sorry, and I know you won’t forgive me for as long as you live. I knew that if I told you I wouldn’t have been able to go, because it would’ve only taken you to tell me to go, to not go. You would have supported me through and through, but it just felt easier to just leave and disappear. I loved you so much, more than everything I have ever loved in my life. But I knew our reality. I knew that phone calls wouldn’t have been enough. I knew that slowly we would drift apart and I couldn’t go through that. I couldn’t stomach the fact that we would’ve become perfect strangers over time, that we would’ve slowly dissolved into nothing. I didn’t want you to be fine and then start hurting over time. I didn’t want to fight and not be there physically to make it right.” He stops in front of you, hands by his side, eyes dropping low in a gentle form of sadness.

“But we could’ve talked, we could’ve figured something out. For a while after you left I just wanted to talk to you and listen to how amazing Australia was. But you pushed me out like I meant nothing, and it fucking hurt Hobi.” You choke out, looking away. You always hated crying in front of him, because he would try everything in his power to make you feel okay.

Right now you don't want to feel okay.

“I know and I will never stop apologizing for it, but don’t you think it would’ve been harder if we just became strangers over time while still being in each other’s lives?”

You shake your head. “I just don’t think it would’ve happened, we always had faith in each other when we were together. Why was this any different? I know we would’ve somehow made it work.”  You suck in a breath, closing your eyes, as the tears slowly fall down. Hoseok’s hand itches to reach out to you and wipe them away, but he doesn’t have the right to anymore. So, he stuffs his hands in his pocket.

“Maybe I just didn’t trust myself. Changes are scary and I was uprooting my entire life for a dream that I wasn’t even sure would come true. I was scared that you’d think less of me if I didn’t achieve it or that you’d get frustrated with me. Or that I would resent you for some reason. I guess it just felt easier for you to hate me.” He sighs.

“I wouldn’t have let you.” You shrug, wiping your tears away. “I would’ve taken the first flight to you if I knew you were having a hard time.

Hoseok lets out a humorless chuckle, angry at himself, “That was the problem. I couldn’t have asked you to do that. I had to start over from scratch but I couldn’t ask you to do the same for me. You were growing and finally doing something that you liked. You were starting to finally enjoy your life outside of me. I couldn’t have asked you to drop the comfort of your inner support system just to be with me, because then you really would have resented me. I know you say now that you wouldn’t have, but it happened to our parents when they moved here. Who's to say it wouldn’t have happened to us?”

You shrug, furrowing your brows into the stubborn look he knew so well. “I don’t know but we would’ve figured it out.”

“We wouldn’t have, it would’ve been something that would have gradually built over time. And I couldn’t lose you in that way.”

You scoff, pushing past him, walking quickly towards the door of his hotel room. You were done, said everything you needed to say. You had no business in staying somewhere you weren’t ever welcomed in. Wordlessly you put on your heels without tying the buckle, and grab the handle of the door. His gaze burns holes into your smooth back.

“At the end of the day you still did.” You say turning the handle before turning to face him again. “It was nice seeing you again Hoseok, I hope Australia was everything you had ever dreamed for.” You open the door as he opens his mouth to say one more thing. He couldn’t let you leave again. At least not in this way.

“I think it’s best if we don’t talk to each other for the rest of the weekend.” You swallow, stopping for a second almost as if you had something else to say but decide against it. “Fitting is tomorrow at 10am, don’t be late or I’ll have to listen to Nathalie have another meltdown.”

That was the last thing you said to him before walking out of his life. It was Earth shattering, everything between the two of you left unresolved and worse. Farther apart than before and it was suffocating. Maybe Miami wasn’t the problem in the first place, maybe it was always him. Either way if this was how you felt when he left you behind. Then truly he was the biggest asshole he had ever had the unfortunate privilege of knowing.

This hurts more than the heaviness of life itself.

Nathalie lets out a deep sigh for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. You had tried to ignore it at first but it was really starting to get on your nerves. Especially because you knew she had something to say and instead of just going out and saying it, she was waiting for you to ask.

Why did everyone always expect you to reach out first?

“If you have something to say just say it.” You mention, looking at yourself in the mirror once again. The sage green, off the shoulder bridesmaid dress wasn’t very flattering on your form. But this wasn’t your wedding, you weren’t there to make a statement in the loveliest gown that made you feel on top of the world. It was once your dream, now you aren't so sure it will ever become a reality.

Nathalie sighs sitting down on the velvet couch with her wedding dress unzipped, gently clinging onto her body. It was tight. The wedding diet she had been on was apparently ruined by Jimin with all the delicious food he had been cooking for dinner recently.

“I saw you leave with Hobi last night, anything happen?”

There it was the million dollar question that everyone and their mothers wanted the answer to.

You sigh, reaching behind you to unzip the dress. It was now suffocating, too tight around your ribcage making it impossibly hard for you to breathe. “Nothing happened, we talked.”

Nathalie cocked an eyebrow, “Only talked?”

You hum, letting out a small sigh of defeat, dropping your arms by your side. “More like fought.” You shrug trying to seem as unbothered as possible. The truth was that after you left you went to see Yoongi. Hoping to let out some steam. But as soon as he saw the state you were in. He brought you inside and let you cry on his couch, while he watched a movie on Disney+.

When you were done, he paused the movie and finally spoke to you, harshly. In a way he had never spoken to you before. A slap in the face but a much needed one. Making you come to your senses. It took everything in you to not call Hoseok again and apologize. But just as you were about to dial his number you realized that you had nothing to apologize for. Everything you had said and felt was valid.

So, you just stayed on his couch, makeup smudged all over your face as you continued watching the movie he was watching. It was where you woke up this morning, joints aching in discomfort, listening to Yoongi’s soft footsteps as he prepared for the day ahead of him. At the sight of you he didn’t say anything, didn’t make fun of your appearance. Instead, he simply gave you a bowl of raisin bran cereal, a meticulous sliced orange and a large cup of coffee. Telling you to drink up and energize since the day you had ahead of you was long.

He was right, it had only been one hour and you already wanted to go home. “Just fighting, not hot and steamy make up–” She pauses for a second and looks around, putting her hand to the side of her mouth “--sex.” She whispers, sending you a mischievous wink.

You roll your eyes before looking at yourself in the mirror again, cringing at how unflattering the color looks on you. “You’re annoying.”

Your cousin lets out a loud laugh before putting her hand over her mouth. “It totally did happen.” She practically squeals. “I knew something must’ve happened, the two of you were practically clinging onto each other when you left and your eyes are so fucking swollen. Must’ve been a wild night.” She rambles, standing up and holding her dress up to her body, jumping in front of you. “You have to tell me everything, was it the same or better than before?”

You close your eyes in frustration, “Naty,” you start, balling your hands at your sides “Nothing fucking happened, we made out for a little bit and then we fought. He practically told me he left to save me from him or some stupid reason like that.” You sigh, looking up at the sky blinking a few times. “He basically hinted that I wasn’t enough of a reason for him to stay and then I left, went to Yoongi’s and now I’m here.”

Her face drops, bottom lip protruding outward. “Well, did you at least sleep with Yoongi?” She cocks her head to the side, making a small smile appear on your face. You know she’s only asking to lighten up the situation.

You shake your head before sitting down on the pink crushed velvet couch of the fitting room. It had only been the two of you for the past hour, the rest of her bridal party had left with your mom’s and Jimin’s mom’s for an early lunch. The two of you stayed replaying that small fantasy the two of you had as children while playing with your mom’s fancy dresses. It had been fun until reality kicked in.

“If you can count sobbing on his couch while he ignored me and watched Thor sleeping with him then yes.” Your smile widens as she falls next to you pulling you into a bone crushing hug, her dress slipping down, revealing her nude strapless bra.

The two of you stay like that, laughing for a while. Recounting the end of your night as best as you could. It was absolutely amazing how much your heart was still broken after six years. Maybe that’s what happens when you truly lose the only love of your life.

“I’m sorry for inviting him.” She whispers after a few minutes of quiet.

You look down at her for a split second before looking up at the mirror in front of you. Maybe the color didn’t look as bad on you as you had once thought. “It’s fine,” you pause before smiling down at her again. “I’ll be fine.”

“Bu–”

“Naty, I survived six years without him. I can make it a lifetime. I'll be fine. I’m okay.” You try to say as reassuringly as possible. Though, you know she’s not entirely convinced she drops the subject before standing up and extending her hands out to you.

“We still have like six hours to kill before the rehearsal dinner. Want to disappear for a while?”

You grab her hands letting her pull you up. “Does it involve ice cream?”

“Is that even a question?” She playfully rolls her eyes and lets go of your hands, before disappearing behind the curtain to the actual changing room leaving you alone in the lobby of the private room.

Maybe disappearing and pretending like nothing was wrong was what you needed now. As much as you wanted to, it would've been impossible to ignore your ex boyfriend for the rest of the weekend. Thankfully you hadn’t needed to see him this morning as Jimin and his groomsmen were in a separate room. Just knowing that he was a door away after everything that had conspired between the two of your hours before. Made you feel uneasy.

You didn’t lie to Nathalie. Hoseok was your past and who knows who your future would be. You had done well surviving without him all these years. A weekend wasn’t going to break you.

“If you want to say something you should just say.” Hoseok says to Jimin who was sitting on the steps of the private fitting room in front of him. Hoseok ignores him, fixing the lapels of his black formal tux. The dainty little sage green pocket square was a bit unsettling to his eyes. Not that he didn’t like the color, it was fairly nice. But he also knew you had been the one to suggest it. Afterall it was one of the color options you wanted for your own wedding.

Jimin’s eyes go wide, almost like he’s been caught. “I have nothing to say, what makes you think I have something to say? I’m perfectly at peace sitting here admiring your handsome features. Has anyone told you that you are handsome? I bet your mom did a lot when you were younger, it must've been nice to grow up with lovely parents. You know I only had my mom after my dad die–”

“Jimin,” Hoseok exclaims, shooting him a glare at his rambling. Jimin did that every time he lied, which is why he didn’t do it often. “I don’t need to hear your life story again. Just say what you want to say before the guys come back.”

Jimin sighs, pushing himself off the floor. “Did something happen last night with you an–”

“No,” he interrupts him before he can finish asking and it throws him off his course again.

“Are you sure? Naty, I and the entire fucking planet saw the two of you leaving last night. Giggling like drunk little teenagers very obviously sneaking away.” He pauses for a second, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger, “you know if you guys did something that's okay. Sometimes in moments of weakness between two exes things happen. That’s completely normal, I just hope that…you know… were safe and it was consensual and like the two of you know it was just a one time thing since you’ll be going back to Australia at the end of the month.” He finishes, nervously stuffing his hands into the pocket of his slacks.

His suit jacket had been off for hours and the first few buttons of his shirt were undone, while the sage green silk tie hung untied around his neck. Hoseok was grateful he didn’t have to wear one, it would’ve made walking down the aisle with you in his arms ten times harder than it already was going to be. The unfortunate privilege of him being the best man and you the maid of honor. Ignoring you was simply just impossible that much had been proved to him last night.

Last night. The first sleepless night he had in a while. He wasn’t sure if Jimin’s statement had irritated him or if he was already irritated from his lack of sleep.

Either way, even if Jimin always means well, Hoseok was beyond annoyed now. “We didn’t sleep together, Jimin.” Hoseok looks away from the mirror and at his best friend. “We were going to but I got in my head about it and then we started talking and then we fought. And honestly I might’ve fucked it up more than it already was in the first place.” He says, pulling off his suit jacket. It was hot. Maybe it had to do with the bright lights shining down on the two of them or maybe it was just him.

Jimin stood silent for a second before opening his mouth again. “What did you say, did you apologize?”

Hoseok lets out a bitter laugh before finally deciding that the suit jacket was perfect and shrugging it off, tossing it on the pink crushed velvet couch. It was so annoyingly pink that it actually hurt his eyes.

“I did, but then I couldn’t stop. I tried explaining myself and why I did what I did but I just ended up making everything worse.” Hoseok claims before sitting down on the steps in front of the wall of mirrors. There were at least three versions of him staring back at him and each single one of them looked worse than the other. Reflecting all his inner turmoil perfectly.

He was a fucking mess.

“Do you know how it feels when you hear the only person you have ever loved tell you they hate you and for very valid reasons?” He looks up at the groom, tired eyes shifting into deep sadness. He didn’t have to pretend in front of Jimin. At least not anymore. Nor did he want to because it was honestly getting exhausting. He had lived his life pretending for the past ten years. Pretending that his life was better when only certain parts of it were. Pretending that he didn’t have a gaping hole inside of his heart.

“Did she say that?” Jimin whispered, taking a seat next to his best man.

“She did but she didn’t need to, I already knew she did, but just hearing her say it made it so much more real.” Hoseok sighs and looks up at the ceiling, blinking away the spots of light in his vision and the tears that had started to form.

When he left to australia he had only let himself cry for a full month. He refused to cry after that month no matter how hard life was progressively getting. After last night all he wanted to do was cry and scream and disappear again.

Jimin puts his arm around his shoulders patting him softly. “If it makes you feel better Nathalie and I once broke up and she said those exact words to me. They’re awful, but we made it work and look at us now.” He whispers.

Hoseok shakes his head, looking down at his palms. “We aren’t like you and Nat. We were never meant to be together forever. It was stupid to ever dream that we could ever be each other’s forevers. Once she decides on something, she doesn’t go back. Which is why I know she will hate me for the rest of her life and I guess it’s just something I have to live with. I thought I was helping out by leaving, because I was afraid that I would lose her overtime. But in the end I ended up doing just that and this time there’s no chance of reconciliation, because that is something she doesn’t want.” He finishes, letting the sought out tears fall onto his open palms.

He’ll cry just for now, just for this moment and then he’ll pick himself up again. Just like he had been doing all this time.

Jimin pulls him into a hug. “I don’t believe that’s true. I’m sure that one day the two of you will sit down together and really talk it out. No bad blood between the two of you. I’m sure she doesn’t actually hate you. If she did she wouldn't have gone to Australia three years ago to attend the grand opening of your studio.” He spills in a hushed tone, making Hoseok’s eyes grow wide as he quickly turns to face him.

“You’re fucking with me, I would’ve seen her if she was there.” Hoseok scoffs, pushing Jimin’s arm away before standing up. “This was a mistake Jimin, a friend wouldn’t lie to me to make me feel better and you’re doing just that. I can’t fucking believe you.”

Jimin chuckles before standing up. “You know I’m not good at lying. Naty and I never asked her about it. It was like an unspoken secret the three of us had with each other. But apparently Namjoon was invited and she went as his plus one. When she came back she was so happy and glowing, it was something we hadn’t seen in such a long time. That we decided not to pry any further.” Jimin walks closer to him before putting both his hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look at him. “She was so proud of you. I think it helped her seeing how happy you were. And things just felt lighter after she came back. Naty and I didn’t have to walk on eggshells around her anymore.” Jimin continues, smiling brightly and Hoseok isn’t so sure if he’s just gotten really good at lying in the past six years. Or if he was actually telling the truth.

Either way this new piece of information is so overwhelming that he feels like he’s about to collapse.

“Why wouldn’t she tell me, if she was there why wouldn’t she come up to me and tell me?”

Jimin furrows his eyebrows and opens his mouth but it's quickly interrupted by another voice, making Hoseok look behind him. Namjoon stands by the doorway, a take away bag of coffee in one hand with a brown paper bag of what he assumes is pastries, par to Jimin’s request in the other.

“She knew that if you saw her, you would’ve dropped everything and had gone home with her. And she couldn’t do that to you. She saw how happy you were and didn’t want to ruin your big night by making her presence known. We only stayed until after your speech and then we got on the next flight to Miami.” Namjoon says, stepping further into the room.

Hoseok is at a loss for words. The only thing he wants to do; no, the only thing he needs to do is see you again. He needs an explanation because there was no way that the things coming out Jimin and Namjoon’s mouth are real.

They just couldn’t be. He would’ve known. How didn't he know? Your presence was so big no matter how small you made yourself out to be at times. You always shined like the brightest star in the night sky. He would’ve known if you were there. No matter how many lights were flashing in his face that night, he would’ve still been able to pick you out from the crowd. That’s who you always were to him. His one and only focal point. His light in trying times. And now he feels like complete and utter shit for not being able to find you on the day he desperately wanted to be with you the most.

The grand opening of his fashion studio. He wanted you by his side, showing you off like he always imagined he would. And maybe he would’ve been able to do that if he would’ve found you in the sea of people. Or maybe he wouldn’t have needed to look for you at all because the two of you would’ve been together in the first place.

He needs to see you, so shrugs on his suit jacket and runs to the exit, only to be blocked by Jungkook and his giant shoulders. “Move, I need to–”

“They left ten minutes ago. Told Namjoon and I to tell you guys that they would be off the grid until the rehearsal dinner.” Jungkook states, crossing his arms in front of him. “Plus you have a best man speech that I know you haven’t finished so I think it’s best if you just stay with us.”

“Off the grid?” Hoseok exclaims, his disbelief causing the groom to let out a loud laugh, which quickly catches his attention. “You’re not nervous about this, what if they run away to a different country?”

Jimin walks closer to Hoseok, knowingly patting him on the shoulder. “Off the grid,” Jimin says in quotations, “usually means getting vegan ice cream at their favorite shop in Hollywood Florida. They’ll be back before the dinner, and knowing them they’ll be like ten minutes late just to scare everyone.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes. You and your cousin were never good together, but it was something he had learned to live with. Now, he’s forgotten all the shenanigans he had to deal with when his life revolved around you. “But I need to talk to her.”

“Just wait until she comes to you.”

“But what if that never happens.”

“A lot has changed in the last six years, but not much. She’ll come around just like she always does.” Jimin says before patting his shoulder and disappearing behind the changing room curtain, leaving him behind in disbelief.

He stares at himself once more in the mirror, maybe the sage green pocket square wasn’t as ugly as he once thought. Jungkook and Namjoon awkwardly standing behind him exchanging awkward stares. His heart is against his throat, beating out of time. Feeling a little bit more hopeful once again. He had fucked up six years ago and last night but the next time he sees you and gets to talk to you, he will be sure that he doesn’t.

Afterall you were the only person he will ever be able to love for as long as he breathes.

Some say that when it rains on your wedding day it means goodluck, a sign of fertility and a lasting marriage.

Nathalie was not taking it that way.

“It’s ruined.” She crumbles sitting on the floor with her wedding dress surrounding her, making her look like a giant cupcake. Her half finished make-up is now ruined as the tears pour down her cheeks like the weather outside. “The weather channel said it wasn’t going to rain and now there’s a fucking hurricane happening outside.”

Her mom had stopped trying to calm her down and now it was up to you to talk some sense into her. “At least you decided against an outside wedding.” You say, earning a glare from your over dramatic cousin.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re the worst?” She sniffles, a small smile appearing on her face. Ever since you were young you knew that telling her that everything was going to be alright would do the opposite to calm her down. Telling her to stop feeling the way she was and to ignore her feelings because there was always a bright side to everything, wasn’t of any help. More so because she always reached that conclusion herself.  So, you always did the opposite, and tried to joke around with her as she slowly came to her senses.

“A few times, most of the time it comes from you.” You smile, leaning your head against her shoulder. Your maid of honor dress was still on the hanger, taunting you.

“Do you think mom is right?” She tilts her head, looking at you curiously with wide eyes and a pout on her lips. “That it’s good luck for it to rain on your wedding day?”

“I don’t know, you know how they are with all their superstitions, but it could be…mom already put an opened scissor outside for it to stop.”  You raise an eyebrow, lifting your head. “But I wouldn’t think about it too much unless you don’t want to run your head up the wall, expecting things to go right or wrong.”

She nods looking down at her intertwined hands on her lap. There was something she wasn’t telling you, something she didn’t want to reveal yet. That much you knew from the way her brows furrowed and the tension in the air. Before you could ask she broke the silence, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes and you were terrified for what was about to come out of her mouth.

“I think she might be right.” She whispers and your curiosity grows. “Not about the goodluck thing but maybe the fertility thing.” She finishes, sounding smaller than before. If you didn’t know your cousin the way you do, you would’ve sure laughed in her face for believing such an outdated old wives tale. Especially because you were usually the one who did. Not her.

You raise your hand up to your mouth, in shock, afraid to confirm what she was hinting at with words. “You’re not–,”

“I’m pregnant, I found out last night after the rehearsal dinner, while you were sleeping.” She says her voice fading out into almost nothing at the end. The realization dawns upon you like a blanket. Everything makes sense. Her dress being a bit tighter than before. Her feeling sick at the dinner after taking a bite of the seafood pasta. Her saying that she had the biggest stomach ache before running down to the small convenience store in the hotel lobby. And the waterworks about the rain on her wedding day.

It wasn’t just the rain it was the fact that she found out she was pregnant hours before she walked down the aisle. “Does Jimin know?” You say, making her roll her eyes. Of course, he didn’t know, they hadn’t seen each other since they parted ways the night before. And she had been avoiding her phone all morning long.

“I don’t know how to tell him, what if he totally freaks out and leaves me at the altar. And then what, what am I going to do with a baby on my own? I can barely take care of a fucking succulent.” She breaks, putting her head in her hands in complete despair.

You rub her back gently, “first Jimin loves you more than he loves life so I don’t think he’d do that and if he does do that then I’ll help you out. After I hunt him down and tear him into teeny tiny pieces.” You try, feeling a small bubble of excitement inside of you. The first baby in the family after many years. And although you could tell Nathalie was terrified, her lifelong dream just like yours was to build a family. It was nice that one of you could at least have that.

“Please feed him to the dogs when you do.” She giggles lifting herself up and hugging you tightly. “I’m so scared, like I thought we at least would have a few years alone together before we added another little life, but I guess God has other plans for us.” She buries her face into your neck, hugging you tighter than before. “It’s going to be okay right?”

“Yes and if it isn’t then you can always count on me.” You whisper, bringing her closer. Only pulling away when there's a knock on the door. The two of you share a confused look until you hear the sound of Jimin’s voice through the wood.

“Naty, your mom, says you’re crying. I know I’m not supposed to see you yet but can you at least tell me you’re okay.” He says in a rush of panic.

Nathalie's eyes grow wide as she pulls away and starts silently speaking with her hands frantically, pointing to the door and then you and then the whole room. From what you can understand she’s telling you to go and talk to him, but honestly you were god awful at charades growing up, but given what she just revealed you could only assume that is what she was telling you. You nod as her hands fall down to her side. She scrambles to stand, tripping slightly over the tail of her dress, as she moves to the side of the room that’s less visible from the door.

You walk to the door and open it wide enough to poke your head out. You lock eyes with the groom to be, as he bites his bottom lip with worry. “She’s alright, right? She’s not getting cold feet right?” Jimin blurts out, running a shaking hand through his already made up do.

A smile appears on your face as you carefully walk out through the tiny open space of the door, closing it behind you. “She’s okay Min, the rain has her freaked out a little but she’s okay. I promise.” You watch as Jimin lets out a deep breath. His hands falling down at his side, in relief.

“Can I talk to her please? I won’t look, I promise I just need to tell her something.” He pleads, pulling his infamous puppy dog eyes and you cave.

You nod. “But don’t tell our moms, unless you want our heads on a stake.” You giggle, causing him to roll his eyes at your dramatics. He’s fully convinced that because you and your cousin are so close in age. Your dramatics have rubbed off on her…and him.

“I won’t.” With that you turn around and open the door wide enough to squeeze through, where you meet Nathalie pacing in the background.“He wants to talk to you.”

Nathalie’s eyes widen as she starts to shake her head quickly. “No, no, no I can’t. I can’t talk to him. I can't. It's too soon. What if I tell him about the—” she pauses, taking a look around before leaning forward and whispering, “the baby.”

You make your way to her, putting your hands on top of her shoulders. “Tell him when you’re ready, but I’ve never seen him so fucking nervous. I think the two of you need this.” You say softly, giving her a tight hug before stepping to the side.

She takes a deep breath and walks over to the door, resting her back against it and opening it a little. “Jimin,” she whispers.

You listen to the little nervous chuckle Jimin lets out before speaking. “Baby,” his hand appears through the little gap. Without hesitation, she reaches out and intertwines her fingers with his, visibly relaxing into her lover's warmth.

It’s an intimate moment between the two of them, and you want to look away, but something keeps your eyes glued on them. Maybe it’s the fact that their love brings you some sort of comfort. Or maybe it’s the longing of having someone like that again. When Hoseok left, you promised yourself that you would never let yourself fall. He was supposed to be the final period of your book, instead he left a comma behind. A sentence you will never let yourself continue.

If it’s not him, then it’s no one at all.

“Jimin, I’m so scared.” You hear Nathalie say, causing your head to snap up in an instant.

Jimin’s hand squeezes hers tightly. “Nothing’s going to change my mind about marrying you. I’d marry you over and over until the end of the world.” He whispers, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles over her knuckles.

Nathalie bites her lip, looking up and resting her head against the door. “That’s not why I’m scared, Min.” She blinks her eyes fast, wielding her tears away. “I-I’m pregnant.” She whispers, tightening her hold on his fingers.

You hear the moment Jimin’s breath gets stuck in the back of his throat. The hold on your cousin’s hand falters. And you know he’s fighting the urge to push the door open and finally see his bride's face.

“Naty, fuck.” He chuckles. “I want to kiss you so badly right now. I never want to let you out of my sight. But I know that if I do that our moms will walk down the aisle with our heads on a stake..” He laughs, making the two of you laugh along with him. “I promise you right here right now, before I promise it in front of our friends and family. That I will love you and our little baby for the rest of my life. I will never stop and I will work everyday of my life to keep falling in love with you over and over again. So, I can wake up with you in my arms and to the laugh of our five children.” He sniffles, and you have to blink back tears when you listen to his words. A part of you wishes you weren’t here, but the other half is happy that you stayed and didn’t occupy yourself with some menial task. Listening to him promise almost the impossible, is enough for you to realize that even though you still hold some resentment towards Hoseok. Even though you still hold so much anger towards him.

He’s it, he’s the end. Maybe it’s finally time to forgive him, and if nothing comes out of it again. It’s okay because at least he will still be in your life.

Nathalie throws her head back laughing. “Slow your roll daddy. I’ve barely carried this baby for a month. I will decide how many children we have by the end of this.”

His loud laughter is heard through the door. “Okay, okay it is your body after all. But like, think about it. Promise?”

She shakes her head in disbelief, scoffing. “I will as long as you promise not to tell anyone? I want to keep this between us for a little while longer.”

“I promise.”

Jimin and Nathalie are tangled up in each other's arms. Jimin has subconsciously been making small eye contact with her stomach. A wide smile appears on his face once he remembers their big secret. You’ve been secretly replacing Nathalie’s champagne flutes with sparkling cider flutes.

It’s fun, it makes you feel like a secret spy as childish as it sounds. And something in you has been awakened since witnessing the moment between the newly wedded couple in Nathalie’s hotel room. And the way the two of them broke down while sharing their vows at the altar.

You’ve been avoiding the alcohol all night, as well as Hoseok, but every now and then you catch a glimpse of his longing stare from your peripheral vision. You want to talk to him, but it’s too soon. At least that’s what you keep telling yourself because you’re scared.

Jimin stands up, doing the whole tapping the knife against the glass flute to grab everyone’s attention. His famous smile lights up the room instantly as he sets down the knife and glass down. “I’ve literally always wanted to do that.” He says, causing the entire reception hall to break out into light hearted chuckles. He clears his throat, “I want to thank you all so much for coming out tonight, honestly this is the best day of my life, so thank you for being a part of this new beginning for Naty and I.” He winks down at your cousin, before looking back at the crowd. “But now, it’s time for the speeches.” He says while looking between you and Hoseok, your nerves are getting set on fire. “I’d say flip a coin to see who goes first, but Hoseok said he wanted to go first before he forgets everything he’s practiced in front of the mirror.” The crowd laughs again, and you catch a glimpse of Hoseok rolling his eyes from Jimin’s side before he stands up fixing his suit and walking towards the stage.

Just like the first night you saw him again at the club. He looks expensive. You wonder what his first reaction to seeing you again was. Does he think you’ve let yourself go? Does he think you look better than before? Or does he not care? You aren’t sure and before you can dwell on it any longer Hoseok clears his throat into the mic, grabbing your full undivided attention.

“Hello…is that what people say before the start of best man speeches?” He tilts his head to the side, earning a few chuckles from the crowd. “Anyway, when Jimin asked me to be his best man I thought one of two things. One is that I was incredibly honored to have been considered, even though I honestly felt like I was his last pick. So, if any of you in the crowd were asked to be his best man first, don’t tell me or I’d actually be super offended.” He says pointedly, shooting a glare, earning more laughs. “And two, I was actually surprised that he trusts me so much, like you guys don’t understand how much dirt I have on this guy. I have years of sneaking out in the middle of the night together while we were teenagers and wild college parties permanently tattooed in my mind.” He sends a knowing wink to Jimin, causing the groom to send a deathly glare back, making the entire room erupt in laughter.

Hoseok rolls his eyes and clears his throat into the mic again. “But maybe I’ll write a book about the shit we used to do when we were young one day. For now, I just want to say to you in front of all our friends and family that I’m proud of you. I know I’ve been away for a long time but the man I am seeing now is not the same man I left behind. I think I’ve witnessed every important moment in your life. From the day you kissed Chloe Ramos during recess  when we were ten, to the night you laid your eyes on Nathalie for the first time. You had called me after a few years of not speaking to one another, except for the occasional ‘I’m alive,’ texts and the memes that remind us of one another. But that night… you said that you met the most beautiful girl in the world, and that your heart literally felt like it was breaking and repairing itself at the same time, like you could breathe again with ease for the first time in years. I thought you were crazy especially when you told me her name. I literally had to remind you that you’ve met her many times before. But you said this time it was different. I think that was the night your heart started to beat for someone else that wasn’t you.” He swallows and looks down at the ground grinning, slightly shaking his head.

This entire time you’ve been holding onto every single word that escapes his mouth. Clinging onto each syllable as you feel your heart speed up and slow down at the same time. Your palms are starting to feel damp and you almost wish that you had had that one tequila shot Jungkook had offered you hours ago. You wouldn’t be feeling anything and everything all at the same time, overwhelming you as you see the love of your life open himself up to a room that once held so much pride and resentment towards him.

“I think I knew at that moment when you cried asking me for advice. I think I knew that this day would come. And maybe I have been writing this speech since that night without me realizing it because even though I rewrote it many times as per your request idiot, it is still the easiest thing I’ve ever had to write in my life.” He pauses, taking a deep breath before settling his eyes on you, making your entire being freeze. “I know this because that night I told you to not make the same mistake I did. Naty and you are perfect for one another. You bring out the best and worst out of each other, but also help each other grow. I had that once4, and I let it go. So, now that I’m here I’ll tell you the same thing I told you that night.” You feel yourself slowly spiraling into nothing, crashing down onto the ground as the tears start to flood the corner of your eyes. “Don’t let each other go. Support each other to the end, even if it hurts sometimes. Be each other’s start and end and if one day you find each other at a crossroads in which you don’t know if you can or can’t continue any longer. Talk to each other with the truth, because I didn’t and I’ve been paying for it since.” He stops, nodding his head in your direction and you feel it first before you can acknowledge it.

Your heart stops and restarts for the one and only Jung Hoseok once again, and you’re sure he feels it too because now the tears are running down his cheeks just like yours.

He shakes his head, clearing his throat. “Anyway, enough of that moppy shit. I’m so incredibly happy for the two of you, and I do expect little nieces and nephews some time soon so you can send them to spend summers with me in Australia.” He winks at the newly wedded couple, who are now melting into each other’s sides. Hoseok raises his glass of champagne in the air. “Cheers and congratulations Mr and Mrs. Park. The love you two have for each other is only seen in fairytales and I’m so happy that I can somehow be a part of this one.” He nods, before bringing the flute up to his lips and downing it in one go.

You’re shaking, and you should get a hold of yourself before you have to go up to the stage and say your speech. But all you want to do is run up to him and hug him tight. So, as he’s approaching the last step of the stage stairs you do exactly that.

It feels like jumping into cold water, but this time you aren’t drowning because he’s holding you just like he did before.

Hoseok doesn’t approach you again until the guests start to filter out one by one.

“I’m upset with you.” Is the first thing you tell him when he is standing in front of you again. You smile up at him and take the hand he had extended out to you. There was an upbeat pop song playing through the speakers. Jimin and Nathalie are locked in each other's arms in the middle of the dance floor, slow dancing and ignoring everyone who comes up to them bidding them a farewell. It was almost laughable, and you enjoyed every single eye roll that came from the couple whenever someone interrupted their moment.

“Really?” He cocks his head to the side as he leads you towards the dance floor. “I honestly had no idea.” He says sarcastically as he places a hand on your waist pulling you close, while still holding on to your hand. You set your arm on top of his shoulder.

“Your speech was so fucking good and it’s not fair. I always helped you out with your papers so when did you get so good at writing?” You joke, swaying against the beat of the song. Thankfully most of yours and Jimin’s family have already gone home. Yet your friends stuck around taking advantage of the fully paid bar and the dessert table. You had kissed the luxury of leftovers goodbye when you spotted Jungkook shoving three scones into his mouth while Taehyung and Namjoon laughed at him, and Jimin recorded the entire thing.

It was certainly going to be going into the blackmail folder they all have saved on their phones.

Hoseok laughs, shaking his head, tapping his fingers to the beat against your lower back. “I had a lot of practice for many years.” He nods, moving a bit faster to catch up to the song. “After I left I started journaling whenever I could and I guess the habit just stuck.” He pauses for a second before looking down at you. “Thank you.”

You raise a brow in confusion. “Why?”

Hoseok spins you around so your back is facing his front and he pulls you close, leaning his head down. “You always told me to journal and I never listened until I was too far away. So thank you, it helped me out a lot.” He whispers in your ear, sending shivers up your spine. Before you can fully comprehend the position you are in he spins you back to face him. His cheeks pink with warmth.

You grin, pulling him down closer to you. “I never knew I’d see the day when Jung Hoseok admitted defeat and say that I am always right.”

He rolls his eyes, chuckling. “Now all I said was thank you, I never said that you were necessarily right.”

You give him a little shove, causing him to stumble back a little bit. “You’re so annoying.”

He smiles instead of replying. He pulls you in closer to him and holds onto your waist tightly, letting his head fall into your neck. This time the song has changed and it’s actually a slow one, from the Latin band Camilla, you know that was one hundred percent your dads doing.

“You were right.” Hoseok finally whispers into your neck. His breath grazes your skin, making the slightest of goosebumps rise all over your body. Before you can respond he keeps talking, with his face hidden within your neck. “I should have told you that I was leaving, instead of doing what I did. I don’t know if we could’ve made it work but at least I would’ve still had you in my life. I loved seeing you live your life, but I hated that you were finally living without me.” He takes a deep breath and lifts up his head, resting his forehead against yours. “I thought what I was doing was the right thing, but seeing the way you reacted two nights ago I knew I didn’t. I’m sorry.” He closes his eyes tightly, digging his fingertips into your lower back. He’s afraid that you’re going to run away from him again.

“I was so angry Hoseok, but I also think that if you hadn’t left the way you did I would’ve settled and just stayed in the spot I was at before. So even though it hurt like hell, I am grateful for it because I don’t think we would’ve been able to grow as people if we were still together. We would’ve learned how to resent each other instead of loving each other.” You say, twinkling your fingertips down the side of his face, before resting your palm against his check, smiling when he leans into your warmth.

It’s familiar yet new and it makes his heart race.

“Just don’t leave me like that again. I can only forgive you once.” You whisper, hugging him close, placing the side of your head against his chest.

His chest shakes gently with laughter as he runs his hands up and down your back. “I won’t, I will never be able to live another day if I did what I did then, and it’s taken a lot of therapy and journaling to be able to finally admit my defeat.” He leaves a light kiss on the top of your head before pulling away, putting his forefinger under your chin and lifting it up so that the two of you are finally looking into each other's eyes. “You were right.”

You smile, nodding your head. Like a winter blanket his warmth wraps around you calming your nerves down. Though things aren’t the same as before it just feels good to have him back. “So what now?”

Hoseok smirks at your question, mischief twinkling behind his calming eyes. “Come with me to Australia.” He says and before you can tell him your hard no because you can’t leave everything you built for yourself behind he finishes his proposal. “Namjoon wants to open a branch of RKIVE RECORDS in Australia. And since you’re his favorite employee and co-founder he was going to send you. So, come to Australia with me please?” He sticks out his bottom lip, almost pouting, making you scoff.

You’re about to pull away from him and speak to the menace you have as a boss, but Hoseok holds you close. “You can network with artists from my company and you never know, maybe you’ll like it enough to manage the Australian branch.” His eyes twinkle with hope and if he hasn’t done a good job at convincing you already he adds. “I just want more time to get to know you as the you now…please give me the chance to do so.” He finishes whispering the last part of his sentence and all you can do is hug him as tightly as possible.

He’s sure you have hugged him today more times than you have in the five years the two of you were together. Physical touch was always his main love language and you hated it with everything in your being. You preferred nice and encouraging words rather than physical touch. So, he learned to only initiate it if you did it first. Maybe that’s something that has changed too, still he hopes that he can find out soon.

“You’re fucking unbelievable Jung Hoseok.” You whisper, pulling him tighter.

“Of course I’ll go to Australia with you.”

a/n pt.2: I hope you’ve enjoyed this. If any of you follow Epitaph just know I finished writing the next part and I am just editing plus I am re-reading the entire thing and making some changes. 

[mikalara-dracula]

Thanks, everyone! :)

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

What kind of girl would S boys fall in love with at first sight? 🥺Pls

❤️‍🔥 Girls the Sakamakis would fall in love with at first sight

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with slight NSFW. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.

Hi there, Anon!

Thank you so much for requesting! I'm sorry this took so long. I hope you enjoy reading it. Feel free to request again anytime. :)

Quick note! For all of them, I wouldn't say this is 'love at first sight' but rather, attraction.

Also, please note that the boys do have their preferences when comes to what type of girls they're attracted to at first glance.

If their partner is different than what is listed below, they don't mind either. It's just what they're attracted to, it's not something they're heavily set on.

If they love someone, they love them for who they are and what they have.

Shu:

❤️‍🔥 Girls with thick thighs and ass are right up his alley.

❤️‍🔥 Loves it when a girl wears loose skirts.

❤️‍🔥 And if they’re slightly transparent, it’s a plus.

❤️‍🔥 Likes it if a girl has a few small to medium sized tattoos. And if she has one on her thigh that he can clutch when he’s laying down, he’s all for it.

❤️‍🔥 Is definitely attracted to girls who wear short shorts or mini skirts. He just finds it so tempting how they sit against a girl’s body and barely cover that area.

❤️‍🔥 Finds it attractive when girls wear pants that hug their hips tightly and accentuate their shape.

❤️‍🔥 Girls who adjust their school uniform to look a little sexier are a big turn on for him.

❤️‍🔥 Girls with disheveled hair. Y’know how you do your hair and hours later it ends up looking like shit? Yeah, Shu can’t help but be attracted to that look on a girl. It’s raw and it tells him a lot about what a girl will look like if she wakes up with him.

Reiji:

❤️‍🔥 Loves it if a girl wears form fitting clothes, but in a sophisticated style of fashion.

❤️‍🔥 Girls that wear bodysuits under their school uniform and garter belts to help pull up their tights. If Reiji by any chance catches a glimpse of the garter belt straps when she bends down, he’s hooked.

❤️‍🔥 Girls with defined waistlines—he finds these types of waistlines to be very attractive on a girl.

❤️‍🔥 Likes it if a girl has a silky, reflective shine to her hair. He feels like there’s such elegance behind such a look.

❤️‍🔥 Earrings—whether they be dangling or stud, he likes it when a girl wears them since they bring out her complexion and hair.

❤️‍🔥 Girls who wear heels. And if they’re red-bottoms, he’s done.

❤️‍🔥 Girls who wear silk slip dresses. There’s just something about the simplicity that makes him swoon for girls dressed like this.

❤️‍🔥 Red lip stick—this on a girl absolutely seduces our bae Rei. Right, @liannelara-dracula?

Laito:

❤️‍🔥 Girls who like to wear loose strappy tops. Laito just loves it when the shirt’s straps accidentally hang or fall off her shoulder in this look.

❤️‍🔥 If a girl has her hair tied up into a half-up-half-down look. He also finds bangs on a girl to be attractive as well.

-> See the full post

274 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

#4

What is the preference of S boys between ass and tits?

Their preference between ass and tits

(ft. the Sakamaki Brothers)

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with slight NSFW. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.

Hi there, Anon!

Thank you so much for requesting! Good question. These boys definitely have their preferences haha. Hope you enjoy reading it. Feel free to request again anytime! :)

Before we begin, let me say that these boys do have their preferences when it comes to this subject, however, they don’t mind if their partner has other traits to offer as well.

Also, if their partner doesn't have their preferred asset(s), they don't mind either. It's just what they prefer, it's not something they're heavily set on.

If they love someone, they love them for who they are and what they have.

Shu:

Mm, it’s no secret that this man loves ass.

Like, it’s his favorite asset about women.

He loves the fact that he can grab/clutch it if he’s laying or sitting next to his partner.

Might even give it a spank if he’s in a certain mood as well.

He likes it when you wear loose skirts, mostly because he can envision the curvature of your ass based on how the fabric is resting against it.

If you haven’t had sex with him, he’s literally trying to figure out how it looks underneath all that loose fabric—it’s seriously a turn on for him since it’s a mystery he can’t figure out.

He also likes to lay his hand on your ass while laying next to you because it feels ‘natural’ to him.

Loves the way you react whenever he clutches or grabs your ass unexpectedly. It gets you everytime and he literally lives for it.

And if you’re wearing tight pants of any sort, whether that be skinny jeans or exercise pants/leggings, he’s all for it since you’re giving him a good glimpse of your shape.

If you’re wearing short-shorts or a miniskirt and it’s slightly tight on you, he gets a kick out of it whenever you have to pull it down and adjust it since it rides up.

And if you bend down, he honestly loves the view and will call you out for it, saying that you’re trying to seduce him when you’re not.

This motha-

Reiji:

Ah, now Rei may appear to be classy and like things such as sophistication and how much a woman shows of her wrists and ankles when she wears a dress that hugs her curves.

But secretly, my bae Rei is something else.

Especially behind closed doors, he’s an animal. ;))

Like, ask @liannelara-dracula

There’s honestly no in-between for him when it comes to ass or boobs—he’s into both!

Like, heavily.

For boobs, he likes the way they display themselves against women’s bodies.

-> See the full post

280 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#3

The Diaboy's reactions to walking in on you singing “WAP” by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with slight NSFW. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.

No one asked, but it had to be done. I think we all know where this is going ahaha!

@liannelara-dracula - girl, I died while making this with you xDDD.

Song: "WAP" by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion

Shu:

“Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me. Quick, jump out 'fore you let it get inside of me.” You sang.

Was all over it, seeing he had the opportunity to tease you for it.

“Alright, if that’s what you want, lewd woman.” He’d chuckle.

“Shu, get out! And you’re the pervert!”

And after this incident, his teasing became worse.

Reiji:

“If it don't hang, then he can't bang.” You sang.

“If what?” He’d question being confused, leading you to turn around and be beyond flustered.

Not knowing how to explain, you changed the subject. “Don’t worry about it, Rei.”

Laito:

“Make it cream, make me scream. Out in public, make a scene.” You sang.

His prayers have been answered—like for real.

Now, he’s definitely going to want to try new things with you and is going to tease you to no end.

“I’d be more than happy to, baby.” He’d smirk.

Turning around startled, you exclaimed, “Pretend you never heard that!”

Kanato:

“Pu*** A1 just like his credit. He got a beard, well, I'm tryna wet it. I let him taste it, now he diabetic.” You sang.

He’s honestly so turned on by it, especially because you’re implying to get eaten out.

“That’s better than cake, Y/N. You should offer me some right now.” He’d say, catching you off guard.

“Oh my god!”

Ayato:

“Yeah, you fuckin' with some wet-ass pu***. Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pu***.” You sang.

An amused smirk on his face right now would be an understatement.

Like this mf is never going to let this go.

-> See the full post

293 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

#2

😰🩸 The Diaboys + Karl try the period simulator

Warning: 18+ content below; don't read if you're a minor and aren't comfortable with this topic. This is a fictional work and should not be taken seriously.

Made these with: @liannelara-dracula

Bruh, I swear Kou's is my favorite lmao xDD.

Note regarding videos: Scenario inspiration comes from the videos linked. We own nothing. Credit goes to the original owners.

Shu:

When you first approached him with it, he was honestly confused.

He was sort of reluctant to do it due to him being lazy, but he figured he’d make you happy so he decided to try it.

He thought it was a joke.

And of course, he had to try it while laying down on the couch.

Didn’t start to feel pain until he got to level 5 and this is where he shot up.

“Fuck . . . .”

And by level 6, it was over. He was clutching his stomach and rolling up into a ball.

“Y/N, turn it off! I can’t do it!”

“But there’s still like four more levels.”

“I don’t care!”

And when this event reached Reiji’s ears, this gave him new ideas as to how to get Shu up to do things.

Reiji:

“What is this contraption?” He’d say when you first showed him it.

He thought it was silly and didn’t believe it could cause severe pain, so he decided to give it a go.

And plus, he wanted to see how far science has come and wanted to fully understand what you were complaining about every month.

So, after putting it on him, you cranked up to level 4 and he flinched, making him hit his hip against the table—kinda like this guy (@ 2:16 if the video doesn’t work).

And at one point, this machine put this bitch on his knees.

Like, it took him out.

He was dying by level 6, crawling up next to your legs like a cat and begged you to turn it off.

And if his brothers are around, they encourage you to crank up the pain, while Reiji does his best to convince you otherwise.

Laito:

Started screaming hysterically at level 3.

You honestly can’t tell if he’s laughing or dying from the way it sounds. It’s probably both knowing him.

He’s begging you to stop the pain because he simply can’t take it.

-> See the full post

325 notes - Posted August 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Laito convincing himself that his pervertedness isn't a facade:

Tagging: @liannelara-dracula

411 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[2jaeh]

ORPHIC : YUTA X READER

genre: smut, angst

warnings: mature themes, enemies to lovers kinda, kinda toxic theme, multiple smut scenes, swearing, alcohol, toys. 

slight jenoxreader 

word count : 17,5k (sorrry he’s my ult)

author: sin! 

You and Yuta never had a good relationship within your group of friends. The closest the two of you ever came to even slightly caring about each other was...in bed. After some friendly advice you decide to venture out of this toxicity and an old friend comes to the rescue. Thinking things will finally settle and you are ready to move on, Yuta comes to the realization that he wasn't a fan of you leaving him for someone else. 

A/N: WHOA this took me so long to write and rn its 2am and I barely proofread anything and just wanted to post it already! ALSO I just wanted to add Jeno is practically my ult as well and I wanted to use him for this scenario ! I promise Ill make it up to you guys with a full length fic of him lol Anyways enjoy. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You couldn’t understand why you hated him so much. Was it the way he did his hair ? The way he rolled his eyes at every snarky remark you directed at him ?

Or was it the way he stared at you from across the room, a smirk on his face signaling that it was going to be one of those nights.

You joined this collective of artists or the “blank space” as you were known to the public, a year ago. The team did everything from clothing to organizing crazy exhibitions, and the best part of it all was that the team members remained anonymous.

Now some of the members were already in the spotlight for their personal artworks and collections but anything under blank space was under that name only, promoted only under its respective social media accounts. The collective was founded by Taeyong, an introverted guy you met at a fashion show you once worked at. He approached you the night your art hit the runway and you’ve been working for him ever since.

You didn’t know everybody under Blank Space except for the people Taeyong trusted the most. Which from possibly 50 designers, only reduced to a total of nine close friends.

Taeyong, Johnny, Ten, Renjun, YangYang, Doyoung, Sungchan, Lucas and You.

And then, there was one person you called a friend when the mood was right. When he was not being an absolute pain in the ass.

Yuta Nakamoto.

————————————————————————

“So there’s a launch happening this weekend over at the shed” Taeyong announced to your friend group who were barely paying attention thanks to Yangyang attempting to stuff four marshmallows into his mouth. “Come on you can do one more” Lucas edged him on while Renjun shook his head disapprovingly and Sungchan tried to suppress his laughter.

“Guys please pay attention” Doyoung, the only type of authority around here spoke up, finally quieting down the room and allowing his best friend to speak.

Taeyong cleared his throat and shifted nervously as all eyes were focused on him again. “I’d like all of us to attend, maybe look for a new recruit” the timid pink haired boy spoke and everyone nodded knowing the routine of these launches at this point.

“Can we party hard or is this just one of those save face kinda gigs ?” Yuta raised his hand and the spark in Lucas’s eyes indicated that he may have had the same idea.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your leg over the other, “Yuta’s having a dry spell he wants to find some damsel in distress to get into his bed” you turned to him and he only smirked at your snarky comment.

“Well now y/n it’s only because you haven’t been in the mood for my dick lately” he pouted and Renjun threw his head back, followed by groans from both Johnny and Ten.

“I’m not in the mood for the two of you today seriously” Ten chimed in, rubbing his temples just waiting for this group meeting to be over. “Yeah me too” Johnny added, “you two fight the entire week then hook up over the weekend, we are tired.”

“Why are you guys tired ? Are you doing the fighting and fucking ?” Yuta scoffed and Doyoung jumped to his feet, folding his arms across his chest as he looked down at the scowling black haired man,

“This is a work meeting. If it's not about work” Doyoung eyes moved to you, “then we don’t want to hear about it.”

You nodded after getting reprimanded but Yuta being Yuta just snickered and downed the rest of his coffee, unbothered by what any of the people in the room had to say about him.

“Okay then well I’ll see you guys Friday night, if you find a possible recruitment just text the group chat and we will decide as a team then and there” Taeyong wrapped up the meeting and everyone dispersed back to their work stations to finish up any outstanding projects.

Blank Space had its own office block but you guys were the only ones with a private floor at the very end of the hallway, far away from the part-timers.

Everyone had their own cubicle made up of makeshift drywall, so it was private but not private enough. Taeyong felt that closed offices made no sense for a room of creatives and when working on bigger projects it was easier for members to move their stations to their partners' cubicles.

Your cubicle though had the unfortunate fate of being placed in front of Yuta. The members had tried to swap with either of you but neither of you budged. Moving meant there was a problem and showing that you had an actual problem with the other person meant it could sabotage the team and things may go sour.

So both of you conceded. Trying your absolute best to stay out of the other person's way during work hours. But it was impossible when bickering was just something you guys did.

From the very beginning You and Yuta had disagreed on almost everything. Both of you were pretty stubborn people and had a very similar mindset. Then on a random drunken night Johnny suggested that you and Yuta needed to release your anger in bed and the next day you’d be best friends. Yuta was pretty adamant on the idea and not only did you hook up once, it became this ongoing hell of fighting, building up your anger and releasing it during mind blowing sex.

Neither of you questioned the abnormality of your relationship. Rather, you ignored the red flags and the toxicity of it all and just assumed attraction only happened through liquor, high sexual needs and boredom.

“Hey y/n sorry about snapping like that earlier” Doyoung stepped into your cubicle, his gummy smile showing as he nervously scratched his head.  “It’s no problem, I’m sorry about my stupid comment” you pressed your lips together feeling a tad guilty that it all started because of you.

“You guys really love riling each other up don’t you?” Doyoung took a seat opposite you which was a bit unnatural for anyone who walked by. Doyoung was a very reserved person and never bothered to converse with any of you besides Taeyong. Unlike the rest of you Doyoung was recruited to handle finances and foresee the operation. He appreciated the arts but never delved in it, hence his awkwardness with the openness and unhinged personalities of the group.

“I get that it can be...exhausting” you sighed, propping your elbows up on the counter and pouting.

“Then why do you continue ?” Doyoung quizzed and you shrugged, “stress relief ?”

Doyoung chuckled at your words and pushed his spectacles up his bridge, “you guys are the ones stressing each other out,” Doyoung turned back to look at Yuta who was busy sketching and turned back to face you,

“All I’m saying is that maybe it’s time to look for a stress reliever that doesn’t result in anger the very next day, you guys need to move on.”

Move on.

Doyoung’s words swam in your mind hours after the short conversation had ended and you wondered if it was indeed time to move on. You looked up from your desk and to your surprise Yuta’s eyes were locked with yours as he twirled a lollipop in his mouth.

The issue was, as much as you hated him you couldn’t deny he was so goddamn hot. From the long hair to the edgy attire, physically he was your type. Personality on the other hand, it was like nails against a chalkboard.

Unbearable.

You kept your eyes locked with him until he slowly pulled the sweet out of his mouth, licked his lips and blew you a cheeky kiss from across the room.

“Moron” you mumbled and shook your head trying to ignore his devilish motives and get back to work.

Doyoung was right. You definitely needed to find someone to distract yourself from Yuta’s hold over you.

———————————————————————-

It was the night of the launch and everybody showed up with their own rides and  began mingling with former clients and partners. You arrived with Ten and Lucas who already decided to pre-game drinks just in case ‘there wasn’t enough at the party.’

“Hey please do us a favor and not hook up with Yuta tonight” Ten wrapped his arm around your shoulder as the two of you maneuvered through the groups of people. “Not planning on it” you replied in his ear, “and besides Doyoung already beat you to that pep talk.”

“Doyoung ?” Ten wrinkled his nose before ordering the two of you a mojito from the open bar.

“Yeah he said that I should move on, possibly find a new hookup” you shrugged, retrieving the drink and headed to a balcony that overlooked the first floor of the launch party. There were bodies of people everywhere, networking, checking out merchandise or just getting plain wasted.

“Seems like Lucas has already been cut off from the open bar” Ten pointed out, watching the tall man try to push his way back to the bar but the bouncer refused him to do so.

“Let me go help him out, I'll catch up later” Ten sighed and gave you a pat on your shoulder, “and yeah find a new hookup, if Yuta gets to sleep around so can you.”

You watched Ten disappear into the crowd and twirled the glass in your hand wishing what he had said was that easy.

There were no rules about hooking up with other people or just any reinforcements in general when it came to you and Yuta. But you we’re well aware of his loose sex life. There were many times where Yuta ended up going home with some random person if he wasn’t in the mood to hook up with you. But You on the other hand, never bothered these days because you were either too busy or whoever you met just ended up boring you to death.

“Y/n ?” You heard someone say from behind you and to your surprise it was a face you hadn’t seen in years.

“Jeno ? Oh my God” you quickly gave the blonde boy a quick hug, taken back by how much he had filled out since high school.

Jeno used to help you out from time to time during proms and fashion shows, lending out his strength to build anything from sculptures to installation art in the city.

“I was wondering when I was going to bump into you at one of these shows” his bright smile turned his eyes into crescents as he joined you at the balustrade. The Jeno you knew in high school was a lanky shy kinda guy but the Jeno you saw now was confident, mature and outright gorgeous.

“I’m quite surprised seeing you here actually” you chuckled shyly, “I didn’t know you’d pursue anything in this field to be honest.”

“Wow” Jeno mouthed and cutely grinned, “hmm that kinda hurt considering I’m the one who made the centerpiece of this entire launch”

Your eyes widened as you looked down at the structure of colored sharpies bound together to create a giant rubix cube in the middle of the party. “Holy shit that’s awesome my boss would absolutely love you” you gasped, knowing Taeyong absolutely loved installation art especially at a large scale like this.

“Oh who’s your boss ? I’m actually a free agent right now” Jeno replied and you quickly remembered the reason you were even at the launch in the first place. “Wait! We’re looking for recruits right now, let me just tell the others about it” you said excitedly, handing Jeno your drink and pulled up the group chat on your phone.

A few minutes later everyone confirmed the meeting place of a private room located on the second floor, quiet enough for a quick interview and decision. The best part of this job was everyone was so connected that there was no need to go through the process of a full portfolio look and a million interviews, all you needed was a trusted ally within the group to vouch for you and you were already one foot in.

“Ten and Yangyang took Lucas home after he tried to challenge the bartender to an arm wrestling match” Johnny entered the room and sipped his whiskey while Renjun and Sungchan followed close behind him. Taeyong and Doyoung stood in front of the room discussing something amongst themselves while you and Jeno took a seat on the burgundy couch.

Yuta entered shortly after, drink in hand and you noticed his eyes narrow in on Jeno who sat close to you. “Okay everyone who’s able to make it is here let’s get started” Taeyong clasped his hands together, “everybody this is Jeno Lee and a long time friend of y/n.”

“Not that long but yeah we did work together” Jeno chuckled and got to his feet, “well I’m an installation artist, I actually made the centerpiece in tonight’s launch.”

“Wow, it's amazing!” Renjun complimented and Sungchan agreed, giving Jeno a thumbs up, “yeah man that piece is brilliant.”

Jeno smiled from ear to ear as the meeting proceeded with everyone going through a few of Jenos works and what he could bring to the team. While your teammates concentrated on Jenos work all you could concentrate on was Jeno himself.

You wondered if Jeno knew how gorgeous he was in his effortless tank top and denim jeans combo. You hoped no one caught you staring but someone was well aware of your actions.

Yuta watched how you looked at the young guy, he wasn’t stupid, he knew when you found someone attractive and the way you were ogling Jeno right now, he didn’t like it at all.

The meeting ended and everyone welcomed Jeno to the collective. Johnny gave him a few pointers on which coffee to order from the cafe next to the office and Sungchan exchanged gamer tags with his new friend.

“I’ll see you guys on Monday” you waved as everyone exited the meeting and before you could make your way to catch up with Jeno and Sungchan you were being pulled back into the room.

“Your place or mine ?” Yuta mused and snaked an arm around your waist, looking down at you with dark eyes.

“Neither” you responded, “I’m gonna hang with Jeno and head home, you should find that little damsel to play with”

“Don’t be difficult y/n we're long overdue for our therapy session now” he groaned, pressing his lips to your ear and jaw. As much as he aroused you by just breathing you thought about what Doyoung had said, you needed to move on from this mess.

“Listen I think we need to just stop our sessions” you stepped away from him leaving Yuta slightly taken back from your actions, “let’s move on, be out of each other’s way and not make the group uncomfortable okay ?”

Yuta watched you press your lips together and finally make your exit, leaving him completely alone. You denied his advances for the first time since the two of you started sleeping together and something in him broke.

————————————————————————

Monday came around and the whole team buzzed about Jeno joining the team. Usually a new recruit would hang downstairs with the part time designers but because Taeyong trusted your judgement on Jeno, he was able to integrate with the team.

“Man that Jeno guy seems real chill” Yangyang hopped alongside Johnny and Yuta who were doing the morning coffee run. Yuta kept his composure despite knowing he wasn’t a huge fan of someone new joining the team and throwing off the dynamic. Hands in his pocket he ignored Yangyangs endless questions about the meeting, allowing Johnny to entertain the eager young boy.

“All I know is that having Jeno around means I don’t have to do all the carrying when Lucas bails on me” Johnny sipped his drink as they made their way back to their office. To their surprise Jeno had just arrived, looking like a lost puppy as he examined the names of the floors next to the secretary desk.

“Speak of the devil” Johnny threw his arm around Jeno, startling the boy and led him over to the elevator, “we’re at the top floor newbie, make sure to get an access card from Taeyong.”

“T-thanks” Jeno grinned and bowed politely to both Yuta and Yangyang before stepping into the elevator. The other guys barely bothered with Yuta’s reaction to Jeno because he rarely liked anyone enough to show any sign of enthusiasm. Jeno wasn’t going to change that.

The elevator opened to the top floor and Jeno awed at the chilled atmosphere you all had created here. From Ten’s thousands of plants around the room, Taeyongs fish, a pool table brought in by Lucas and gaming stations set up by Sungchan, it looked like paradise.

“This....is so cool oh my God” Jeno stepped in, his eyes wandering all over the place until it locked on you hanging over at the fish tank with Taeyong.

“Y/n!” Jeno jogged over and you greeted him with a wide smile and a tight hug, “Jeno you made it!” You gleamed. Jeno quickly shook Taeyong’s hand unsure of how formal of a boss he actually was.

“Whoa I feel like a principal” Taeyong giggled as he dropped a few fish flakes for his babies. “Wow, does everybody have their own cubicle ?” Jeno strolled around the room taking a peak at the vast versions of decor each cubicle adorned.

“Yeah” you responded, “but I don’t think yours is ready yet right Doyoung ?”

“That’s right,” Doyoung replied and folded his arms across his chest, “you don’t mind sharing for the week do you ?”

Jeno shrugged and looked over at you, “I was hoping to catch up with y/n anyway, I don’t mind sharing if it’s okay with you ?”

“It’s perfectly fine” you assured him and gestured over to your cubicle, “me casa is su casa.”

“I’m just gonna need some admin stuff sorted Jeno can you join me for a bit ?” Doyoung asked and Jeno nodded, giving you a quick hug before heading off to the administration offices with Doyoung. You watched the blonde guy exit and something just felt so much brighter in the office. You felt a sense of excitement of what’s to come now that Jeno was back in your life. But like all sunny days there always comes a thunderstorm and yours was staring you down like he was waiting to rain on your parade.

“What ?” You blinked, and Yuta shrugged as he peeked into your cubicle. “It’s a bit small isn’t it ? Don’t think two people can work in here” he raised his brow and looked over at you.

“It’s fine” you sighed and pushed past him, “it’s only for a week and he’s not a stranger to me, why do you care ?”

“I don’t” Yuta mumbled, dragging his feet back to his cubicle leaving you questioning his slightly odd behavior. Your mind quickly snapped out of it when Jeno had made his way back, that bright smile spread across his face and suddenly it felt like sunshine filled the room once more.

“I’m back!” He sang and pulled a chair opposite you, retrieving his laptop already looking like a regular in the office.

“Did Doyoung tell you about tonight ? Our little welcoming party over at Kleo’s Sky Bar ?” You asked, skimming through your emails for the day. “Oh, yeah he did, I mean you guys don’t have to do all of this” Jeno chuckled shyly, those pretty eyes distracting you for the third time that day.

“Nah we do it for everyone, and it’s better you know everyone drunk to avoid future surprises” you pointed over to Lucas who was coaching Yangyang through a trick shot at the pool table.  “Gotcha” Jeno nodded, as he watched one of the balls fly off the table and nearly knock Renjun in the back. It was chaos absolutely everyday in the office and you knew Jeno was going to love it here.

But even with Jeno in front of you, your new distraction, your new beginning, like Doyoung and Ten had said you needed, it was a habit at this point to look across the room, wondering what Yuta was up to. You watched him remove his cardigan, exposing his arms in those loose tank tops he always loved to wear as he concentrated on a sketch in front of him. Thankfully he was fully immersed in his work for once to take notice of your eyes on him. You continued observing him, watching him nod along to probably some alternative song blaring in his headphones as he sketched away on his iPad. He was so effortlessly attractive when he wasn’t aware of it.

You needed to snap out of this daydream.

“So are you seeing anyone these days ?”

“Hmm ?”

Jeno laughed as you finally realized that he’d been talking to you and you mentally cursed yourself for even being distracted by Yuta of all people.

“I’m sorry..Uhm no I’m not seeing anyone” you replied, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and Jeno nodded cutely, “uh good...uhm not good that you’re alone but I was hoping you weren’t...God I’m still so bad at this”

You felt your cheeks heat up seeing Jeno fumble over his words and get nervous about asking you such a question. He was so adorable and something in you also wondered if he was like this in a relationship, or in the bedroom.

Was he dominant ? Was he passive ? Yuta was very dominant and you’d even rile him up to the point of him making you shut up with his actions.

“Y/n ?” Jeno waved his hand in front of your face and you shook your head, you couldn’t believe you did it again. What the hell was wrong with you ?

“Oh my God Jeno I'm so sorry...these emails are just a pain in the ass” you lied but thankfully Jeno took the bait and nodded, “it’s okay I’ll let you get back to work, I was going to go down to the cafe, do you want anything ?”

“Yeah a cafe latte would be great thank you” You felt guilty but it was still only two days since you decided to cut off Yuta so adjusting was going to take a bit of time.

Jeno had left for the cafe and you quickly dove straight into your work, hoping the time would just fly by. That was until you heard a knock and watched Yuta saunter into your cubicle and take a seat right in front of you. You watched him prop his elbows on the table and his piercing eyes narrowed down on you as if he were waiting for an answer.

“Why are you here ?” You questioned him, doing your best to divert your attention from his chiseled arms and exposed chest.

“I want an explanation,” Yuta said calmly, his voice deep and monotone.

“To what ?” You knew fully well what he was talking about but you were really  not in the mood to talk to him about this.  Yuta sighed and cocked his head to the side, clearly annoyed by your response. “Why the fuck are we calling it quits when we are nothing to each other ? Can’t we just hook up and ignore each other as usual ?” You sensed the annoyance in his voice. Denying him that night was indeed eating him up since you’ve never done it before.

“Yuta that’s the whole point” you rubbed your temples, “if we are nothing to each other then we shouldn’t be hooking up, it just ties us together for absolutely no reason.”

Yuta stayed quiet for a bit and eventually just nodded, “fine do whatever you want I guess.” You watched him walk out, not bothering to give you a second look and you wondered if the unsettling feeling you were experiencing in this moment was how he felt two days ago.

Nothing made sense.

————————————————————————

The evening arrived and everyone was in good spirits because you were all headed to one of your favourite spots in town. “Lucas you gotta do karaoke tonight” Sungchan threw his arm around the large brown haired man as they entered the bar. “Hmm give me a few rounds of drinks first” Lucas stuck out his tongue as he gestured to the waitress to get the gang the usual table.

Thankfully tonight the bar was fairly empty which meant that the gang could really loosen up without the prying eyes of strangers wishing you’d all just leave.

“Wow this place is pretty cool” Jeno gleamed, allowing you to enter the booth first like a true gentleman before scooting right in next to you. Yuta opted for the seat at the very end as usual, so he could sneak off to smoke without bothering any of friends every couple of minutes. The position also gave him a clear view of you and Jeno who were snuggled up in the corner already lost in your own private conversation.

“Beer ?” Johnny nudged Yuta, snapping him out of his fixation. Yuta nodded and slumped back in his seat trying his best to focus on whatever Renjun and Yangyang were talking about. It’s not like him to feel this way. Usually by now he’d be seated next to you, annoying the shit out of you until he saw those pretty eyes glare at him with rage. Then after you’d have a few drinks you’d be leaning on his shoulder, playing with his rings until he offered to take you home, and then-

“To Jeno!” Lucas yelled, lifting up a shot glass of God knows what and rallied everyone to join in on his toast.

“To Jeno” you grinned leaning into Jeno’s side and clinked glasses with him. Jeno felt warm, comforting, he made it so easy for you to just enjoy having him around rather than it being a task. That’s what a healthy relationship was like wasn’t it ?

“Jeno Im glad and also sorry that you have to join the most annoying group of people ever” Doyoung half smiled and Taeyong waved his hand, “we’re not that annoying Jeno I promise” the pink haired boy reassured him despite Renjun and Ten agreeing with Doyoung’s words. Jeno just laughed it off and turned to you with a bright smile as he draped his arm over your shoulder,

“Kinda feels like fate that I bumped into you huh?”

You know he may have been joking but Jeno was really unaware that his presence really was the antidote to getting rid of the Yuta situation. The team loved him, he was someone you knew and could trust, it was all right there for you, written on paper. Nothing could possibly go wrong… right ?  

“Fourth round is on me” Taeyong held up his card to the waitress despite his tired eyes were quite evident. Everyone was well over tipsy and Lucas had already entertained the bar with his beautiful rendition of “Starboy” by The Weeknd and Johnny stepped in as his air guitar player in the back.

“Gotta go to the bathroom!” You whined while Jeno helped you to your feet as you pushed your way past a sleeping Renjun and a spaced out Sungchan. You could tell tonight was going to take a toll on everyone tomorrow morning.

You quickly exited to the back where the bathrooms were located. You walked down the dim hallway, mentally thanking yourself for not overdoing it with the alcohol as each step became darker and darker.

“Watch your step” someone said and you turned around to see Yuta leaning over a railing with a cigarette sticking out of his mouth.

“Yeah” you managed to say and entered the bathroom before he could say anything else. The lack of alcohol didn’t stop the intrusive thoughts of Yuta filling your mind as you stopped to wash your hands. All you could think about was if he was going to be there when you walked back. Was he going to say anything ? Was he going to do anything ?

Were you going to do anything ?

You stepped outside, head a little more muddled than when you walked in and your first question was answered, Yuta was still there leaning up against the wall looking ahead of him. You slowly began your journey back, keeping your head down to avoid any type of confrontation with him.

“Y/n….” He mumbled, reaching out until he had a grip on your wrist causing your eyes to look up at him. Why did he look so goddamn breathtaking right now, with his stupid black hair all messy and his eyes luring you in like a lion to it’s prey.

“W-what ?” You replied, unsure why you still allowed him to hold you or even have the nerve to stop you from getting back to the rest of your friends. Yuta pushed himself off the wall and turned your body so you were now pressed against the concrete and his body was pressed against you. Your breathing hitched as he ran his fingers lightly down your arms. His eyes concentrated on his movements while yours focused on his face, watching him bite down on his lip as he took in the position the two of you were now in.

“You remember a few weeks back and I had you up against this wall moaning my name ?” His voice was so low that it aroused you, making you mentally curse yourself for the lewd thoughts.

“Yuta…” you sighed but there was a hint of desperation in your voice surprising yourself but not really phasing Yuta at all.

“Yeah just like that” he hummed before pressing his lips to your jaw, and peppered kisses all the way down to your neck. You felt yourself willingly giving him access, melting into every kiss he placed on your warm skin. Yuta’s hands grabbed your waist and pinned you against the wall while your hands instinctively wrapped around his neck and into the soft tufts of his hair.

“Yuta…we shouldn’t…I shouldn’t” you breathed, feeling yourself pulling him closer instead of pushing him away.

“Tell me no and I’ll stop y/n '' Yuta said into your ear to which you responded by pulling him by his belt buckle and pushed yourself up to capture his lips. Yuta’s dominance finally showed when he slipped his leg in between yours, giving you the chance to gain a bit of friction your core so desperately desired at this point. You felt Yuta’s smirk in your kiss when you began grinding down on his thigh showing him the obedient whore you were for him. Nothing Yuta loved more was for you to beg for him, beg for his touch, need him. That was until the two of you heard footsteps and to your dismay it was the last person you’d ever want to see you trapped against a wall with the man you hated.

It was Lee Jeno.

“I’m sorry I - I’m sorry I’ll leave you guys alone-“ Jeno stumbled, he felt his cheeks heat up and made his quick exit out of the hallway.

“Jeno!” You called, pushing Yuta off and tried to neaten yourself. Yuta felt a heated sensation overcoming his body the moment he saw the look in your eye when you saw Jeno and the way you pushed him off like he was a piece of trash. Like he was nothing.

“You know maybe if you’d stop pretending like you don’t wanna fuck me then we can go back to normal” Yuta spat, not caring about the unfortunate situation that had just unfolded.

You turned around to face him and the next words that came out of your mouth you weren’t sure if you were going to regret it or not.

“You’re right Yuta that’s all you are to me and that’s all you ever will be, a good fuck for about an hour and that’s it. Other than that there’s no use for you. At all.”

You stormed away before Yuta could respond, but by now you would have heard his curses echoing throughout the hallway, the whole damn bar would’ve heard it. But there was nothing.

Absolute silence.

———————————————————————

It had been two weeks since the interaction with Yuta at the bar and what you had to him still resonated with you, wanting so badly to apologize. But each time you saw him at the office he paid you little to no attention, going on about his day peacefully and you didn’t want to interrupt that.

Jeno thankfully understood the situation and was more than willing to be the rebound guy, his only rule being that besides work related matters you needed to cut off communication with Yuta altogether.

‘It was the only way you’d get full closure and my mind would be at peace’ Jeno had said after you gave him the rundown of everything that had happened.

Jeno and you agreed to just casually date, nothing official and nothing too serious. You guys went on movie dates, cafe dates and kept the physical aspect to a minimum. It was simple. Laidback. A very normal form of dating.

“Y/n I’m gonna need you on a photo shoot set in a few hours” Taeyong peeped his head into your cubicle and you looked up at him with a frown, “I thought we were working on that rappers record party ?”

“Yeah that rapper wants you, Yangyang and Yuta to tag up the wall for a video segment of his photo shoot” Taeyong replied with a shrug and left you bewildered.

Yuta. From all the damn people he could’ve chosen you had to work beside the person who practically called trash in your last meeting.

Great.

You wrapped up the last of your work and headed downstairs to the parking lot where an Uber was waiting for you. Thankfully Yangyang  could talk anyone’s head off because just sitting next to Yuta during the car ride felt tense. Normally he’d be pushing you into Yangyang or commenting on how his tattoos were better than yours. But all he did was look out of the window watching as the buildings moved past, keeping his airpods in to avoid any type of communication with anyone.

“You guys are finally here! Good Mark Lee is waiting for you at the shoot location” a woman dressed in all black led you into what looked like a gymnasium turned into a giant canvas.

“Are we going to paint all of this ? Man this is going to take forever” Yangyang gasped as the three of you walked through cans of paint, staff members and models.

“You guys are the designers from black space who did that painting over at Jynx Club ?” A young guy approached who you quickly realized was the new hot rapper around town, Mark Lee.

“Uh yeah, that’s us” you chuckled shyly and looked around, “are we really doing up the entire room ?”

“Oh hell nah just the backdrop behind me” Mark waved his hand, “we just laid everything out for a few cgi effects but you guys, do ya thing over there!” You watched the hyped boy get called over by the director leaving the three of you faced with a gigantic piece of white board and no idea.

“Since you guys are uncultured and probably don’t listen to Mark Lee, let me be in charge of this piece” Yangyang pulled out his iPad and began scrolling through some of his sketches. “Be my guest” Yuta shrugged, completely disinterested in the topic and most likely just wanted to get done and go home.

Yangyang finally settled on something that utilized all three of your styles and you all put  on your white overalls, immediately getting to work.

The vibe of the whole job was quite chilled and because of the fumes most of the staff had left the gymnasium leaving the three of you to work in peace. “God I need to pee so bad,” Yangyang groaned as he dangled from a ladder, an aerosol can in hand and a nearly completed section in his corner.

“Dude take a break we’re way behind you anyway” you walked over to steady the ladder as Yangyang finally made his way down. “Thanks guys, be back in 20” he shot you a thumbs up and disappeared into the tunnel leading to the gym lockers.

The tension returned but it was somehow worse than ever before. Even though Yuta was minding his own business for the first time while retrieving a paintbrush he looked at you. There was no unsettling glare or the feeling that he was pissed off at you, he just looked at you like he’d look at anyone else.

And somehow that felt even worse.

“Yuta…do you mind if we talk for a bit” you cleared your throat and he looked over at you and removed one of his airpods signaling to you that he was listening.

“Okay Uhm well I want to apologize for what I said that night” you bit down on your lip, “I didn’t mean it, and it was selfish of me to even think of you like that after coming onto you in the first place.”

Yuta blinked and eventually just nodded, “apology accepted, and I can see that you like Jeno so I’m trying to stay out of the way” he shrugged and continued painting as if this conversation wasn’t that deep to begin with.

“Are you not going to get me back? Are you sure you’re Yuta ?” You raised a brow and Yuta’s manic laugh echoed throughout the gymnasium, “you want me to be mean to you ? Wow y/n that’s truly some kink you got there”

“Ugh you know what I mean” you shoved him playfully, unaware that the brush you were wearing was still wet and now Yuta’s jaw adorned a light shade of orange.

“Oh shit I’m sorry” you quickly said but Yuta had already responded by swiping his red painted fingertips across your cheek and smirked, “now we’re even.”

“Hey mine is way worse than yours!” You grumbled and flicked more paint at Yuta which then enabled a paint war between the two of you. Yuta giggled so much that for a second you forgot how silent he actually had been the past two weeks. He was back to his usual self and so were you, playfully making a mess with him until Yangyang emerged from the tunnel and yelled,  “What are you morons doing ?!”

You and Yuta stood still in the middle of the room both covered head to toe in paint but the scene was way too comical to hold in your laughter any longer.

“Yangyang we’re so sorry but look, it gave the canvas a little more color” you gestured to it and you weren’t lying, it actually did look a lot better than before.

“Fine you two can go on break, I'll finish up so we’re not sitting around until midnight” Yangyang huffed and returned to his masterpiece. “Is there a place to clean up here ?” Yuta asked and the woman from earlier on walked in and pointed to the tunnel located in the back of the gym, “there are bathrooms and showers back there, our crew provided fresh towels as well so go ahead” she smiled and you silently thanked her before heading to the tunnel with Yuta.

“God I have paint everywhere” you whined as you took a look at yourself in the mirror. Yuta chuckled as he began inspecting himself, looking at the peculiar fingerprints all over his face and neck. “This shit better not stain my skin” he grumbled as he picked away a piece of paint from a crevice in his ear.  “Tell me about it” you responded and began removing the overalls. All you could think of was jumping into that shower stall and allowing the hot water to melt away all the grime and paint when you noticed Yuta was already down to his boxers.

Your gasp made Yuta snicker to himself as he walked around the bathroom looking for the ideal stall to take his shower in.

“Nothing you haven’t seen before” you heard him say before hopping into one of the stalls and drawing the curtain. Despite his words being correct it still made your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. You guys were comfortable like this before, not now, not with Jeno in your life.

You shook your head and entered a stall opposite Yuta and a few rows down, just so you weren’t close to him but not far enough that made you feel alone.

“Fuck how is their paint on my ass ? That’s impossible!” Yuta groaned and you couldn’t help but laugh, “TMI, Yuta” you replied and Yuta scoffed, “says the person who’s responsible for this.” The banter ended and again all you heard was the sound of both showers hitting your bodies simultaneously, the air filled with steam and more unusual tension.

“Y/n ?”

“Yeah?”

Yuta was silent for a while and then you heard his water turn off. “Do you uhm mind checking if I got all the paint off my back ? I’ll uhm put my boxers on” he mumbled and you felt your heartbeat speed up.

First of all the Yuta you knew would’ve just walked over butt ass naked and pulled your curtain aside not caring at all. The way he acted now was out of character, but somewhat familiar.

“Yuta I’m still in the shower and naked” you chewed on the inside of your cheek while you waited in silence.

“I’ll close my eyes, I just don’t want this shit to dry up when we get back to work later” he replied and you heard his light footsteps coming toward you. Quickly moving your hair back and holding the curtain against your body, you slowly peeled back the material to reveal Yuta with his back facing you and with his eyes closed, like he said.

You peered down at his golden skin, taking in his broad shoulders and tiny waist as you inspected for any more signs of acrylic paint.

“Uhm yeah you have a little on your shoulder blade and lower back”

“Do…you mind…”

You bit down on your lip knowing this was already crossing the line. But you had just made up and it was your fault that he had paint on his back in the first place. It was innocent. That’s what you had to keep telling yourself while staring at one of the sexiest people you had ever met.

You began rubbing away pieces of the paint, ignoring Yuta’s whines when you used too much pressure. Your hands traced down to his lower back, settling in the dip as you tried to remove a very stubborn piece of paint.

“Ugh this one is not coming off” you scratched at it and to your surprise Yuta had let out a moan instead of the usual wincing.

“I don’t mean to kink shame but-“

Yuta spun around and glared at you, challenging you to finish your sentence but you were more concerned at the fact that the only thing protecting your nude body from Yuta right now was a thin piece of fabric.

“Yuta!” You scolded and he rolled his eyes, “oh please y/n I’ve seen it all, now can you please help me with the paint ?”

You watched wide eyed as Yuta stepped into the shower going back on his word to close his eyes and face the wall. You couldn’t believe what was happening right now but the quicker you removed the paint the quicker he’d be out of here.

“Aren’t your boxers…going to get wet ?” You watched him step closer to water already allowing his hair to soak up the warm stream. “Well you’re not gonna let me take them off with you in here and I’ll probably just go commando when we get back to the office” Yuta shrugged and you should’ve known that was one of his options since he has done it in the past.

You sighed and let go of the curtain allowing your naked body to be free and go back to work on his paint splatter. Yuta was calm and collected throughout the process, you silently commended him on his restraint, that was until he decided to turn around and look at you.

“Y-Yuta you promised” your voice was small but you still didn’t do much to cover up your body. Yuta leaned against the cold ceramic wall as he stared at you, his stare was dark, inviting you in like that night at the bar.

“I’m not going to do anything y/n unless you want me to” he reassured you, still maintaining a distance and doing absolutely nothing to persuade you. But did you need persuasion when all he needed to do was be in the same room as you?

The two of you stared in each other’s eyes for a few minutes and you had no idea who actually made the first move but there you were in the center of the shower stall, in a random gymnasium, kissing Yuta Nakamoto.

Yuta’s bare body was pressed against yours as the two of you fought for dominance in the kiss. You placed your hands on his chest to which he responded by wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you closer until his hardened member twitched against your stomach. There were no words, just actions. Each kiss only made you more desperate for him, not feeling this type of arousal since that night at the bar. He was the only person who could turn you on to the point that every image of Jeno was erased from your mind.

You tugged down his boxers with urgency and Yuta helped you quicken the process, quickly kicking away the piece of clothing and had you pushed up against the wall with your legs wrapped around his waist. Yuta pulled away from your lips with a sultry bite on your bottom lip and lined up his member with your core. He kept his eyes on you the entire time from the moment he slipped into your wetness to the harsh thrusts he was now giving to you against the coldness of the wall. You felt like you were complete, filled with the right amount of passion and ecstasy. God you hated to admit it but nobody could fuck you the way Yuta did. Absolutely no one.

Yuta slowed down his thrusts and you brought your feet back to the ground, gesturing for him to take a seat on the floor and got on top of his member once more. Yuta threw his head back as you rode him relentlessly, grabbing onto your ass as he tried to meet your rhythm. The sight of him partially under the water and his swollen lips was delicious, you couldn’t ask for a better view right now. Yuta on the hand was also enjoying having you bounce on his length, quickly realizing that the women he had bedded during his time without you were not worth it. Not a single one of them made him feel the way you did. Even the times you guys were fucking around he’d sleep with other women because he didn’t want to admit that you are his best. You will always be his best.

“G-gonna cum” you panted and Yuta quickly rubbed circles on your clit to help you reach your orgasm. He watched your body spasm and you threw your head back with a soft moan. The sight alone made him come undone straight after you, filling you up completely.

You slowly got to your feet with the help of Yuta offering his hand and managed to finally catch your breath.

What the fuck did you just do ?

“Before you say this was a mistake and you hate me, hear me out” Yuta spoke up, “I need to know something”

You bit down on your lip. “Yeah?”

“Do you like me ?”

“What ?” You quietly questioned and Yuta sighed, rubbing his temples, “do you like me y/n ? actually like me ? Or is it you just like fucking me ?”

“I don’t know Yuta you know that I’m seeing Je-“you began explaining before Yuta quickly cut you off. “Don’t say his name, listen I know you like fucking me because that’s what happened right now despite whatever feelings you have for…Jen..him.”

“So what am I supposed to do ?” You asked, still unsure of how you were even going to face Jeno back at the office after this.

“Use me,” Yuta deadpanned, “keep me as your dirty little secret and I won’t tell a soul. I just don’t want this to end. I’m fucking addicted to this, and clearly you’re in need of me just as much as I need you.”

Yuta took a step forward and cupped your cheek with the palm of his hand. “I just crave you all goddamn day and nothing is fulfilling that need until right now.”

You knew exactly what he was talking about but you couldn’t bring yourself to share how much you ached for him. Late nights when you were alone you even pleased yourself with memories of him. You were unsure if it was lust at this point or you actually missed being around him. Despite every fight and argument the two of you had, there was something always drawing you in.

“First of all I don’t hate you” you sighed and he chuckled dryly before you continued, “I don’t know if this is a good idea but I’m only agreeing because Jeno and I aren’t serious yet and if we are-“

“I’ll back off I promise” Yuta quickly added and you nodded, “he can’t know about this, nobody can.”

“You have my word” Yuta pressed his lips together and for the first time he looked absolutely serious. Something in you made you trust that he wouldn’t fuck this up, because that would mean the one thing he wanted most right now would fall through.

You just hoped that this little need the two of you had for each other wasn’t turning into an…obsession.

————————————————————————-

“You guys are finally back” Ten stretched his arms above his head as you, Yangyang and Yuta returned back to the office after quite an eventful afternoon.

“Wanna see pics ? It turned out great!” Yangyang grinned quickly, running over to the older guys, showing off his artwork. Jeno was over at the game area with Sungchan completely invested in beating his friend in a round of Call Of Duty.

“Hey you” you sunk into the beanbag next to Jeno who shot you a quick glance before concentrating on his next move, “your hairs wet, why ?”

“Showered after the painting session” you answered diligently hoping there were no follow up questions. Thankfully he was way too invested in his video game to care much, you really weren't in the mood for an interrogation after half a day with Yuta.

Jeno asked a lot of questions when he felt insecure about something. Even though time had been short with him, it still somehow felt like a 2 year relationship. For a young guy Jeno was pretty old fashioned, he made you pick all the date places and never bothered to make the first move physically until you hinted to him that it was okay.

He was so different to what you were used to and you were afraid that if you didn’t speed things up with him this little secret with Yuta would turn into a reality.

“Hey y/n can you help me with lunch ?” Doyoung called from the makeshift kitchen area a few feet away and you silently thanked him for distracting you from your thoughts.

“Hey Doyoung” you smiled as you began opening containers from the Chinese delivery you guys frequented. “Just wanted to check in with you” Doyoung sweetly said as he grabbed a few utensils, “you and Jeno huh ? Was that part of my advice ?”

You pressed your lips together and nodded. “Yeah I guess so, it also helps that I’ve known him for a while now and he did actually have a thing for me in high school” Doyoung cocked his head at your words and leaned in, “and you liked him back or you’re seeing something in him now that you didn’t see before ?”

“U-uhm I think he’s hot” you chewed on your lip and Doyoung chuckled softly, “you know not everything is about looks or…hooking up, do you enjoy his time ? His interests ? His company ?”

You turned back to where Jeno was still playing his video games and you did feel a little confused as to what you guys actually did have in common. “I mean…” you began, crossing your arms across your chest, “we’ve only been seeing each other romantically for two weeks I think it’s too soon to tell.”

Doyoung combed back his hair and instead of bringing forth his insight in order to make you see things clearer he just nodded.

“You’re probably right, well I wish you guys all the best, it’s better than being with someone who doesn’t care emotionally right ?”

You slowly nodded and with that Doyoung began taking the food to the dining area leaving you with more confusing thoughts than you had before.

Lunch and the rest of the evening went on smoothly. Yuta stayed out of your way and there was absolutely no sign that the two of you we’re together that day. It was easier to fake seeing Yuta since the group knew the two of you would’ve been bickering straight after hooking up. It was the perfect illusion.

“Mark Lee’s party is at 9pm tomorrow night you guys, don’t forget” Taeyong looked around the room until he heard a confirmation from every single mouth.

“9pm ? Shit would it be okay if I only stuck around for an hour ?” Jeno sighed and looked over at Taeyong, “my brothers in town and I promised I'd get him from the airport at 10:30.”

“Well you’d have to show one of the guys here how to turn the installation on” Doyoung’s worried look matched Taeyong.

“I’ll be there to turn it on I’ll just need to leave straight after” Jeno assured them and squeezed your hand under the table, “it’s all really sudden but you’ll be okay right ?”

“I’ll be fine, I’m probably going to head home after the music video airing anyway” you smiled at him and he placed a soft kiss on your forehead earning a whistle from Lucas.

Yuta awkwardly shuffled at the sudden PDA and he hoped no one at the table noticed but it caught the attention of none other than Johnny Suh who narrowed his eyes at his coffee run mate.

The evening had wrapped up and everyone had already headed home except for Yuta and Johnny who were adamant on finishing a photography project for a band they were working with.

“Trouble in paradise ?” Johnny hummed as he edited an image on his laptop. Yuta, who was busy sorting out the Polaroids, turned to face his large best friend with a lost expression.

“Huh?” He raised a brow to which Johnny shook his head still staring at his screen.

“I can’t believe this, after all these fucking hellish months now you realize you like her?”

Yuta leaned in on the desk. “What the heck are you on about Johnny ?”

“Y/n” Johnny sighed and your name made Yuta’s heart race a bit, hoping Johnny hadn’t found out about the shower incident. God you’d hate him forever if anyone found out.

“Listen Johnny we-“

“You like her! After all those months of fighting I knew you were secretly in love and now” Johnny threw his hands in the air, “now that Jeno has entered the arena you have ruined your chances. Way to go buddy.”

“Wait what ?! I’m not in love with y/n!” Yuta scoffed. Saying that sentence out loud felt like a lie even though he couldn’t fully convince himself.  Was he in love ? Was Johnny mistaking love for just lust ?

That’s all it was and ever was right ?

You enjoyed fucking around with him and he was okay with it. That’s what he wanted too. Even if you didn’t answer his question of whether you liked him or not, it was okay. Whatever you wanted was okay as long he got to be with you.

“I’m not in love with y/n.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and Jeno arrived at the party with Yangyang and Sungchan all helping carry equipment for Jeno’s installation. The piece was a pixel art board that formed Mark Lee’s latest EP cover, and once plugged in it gave it an animated effect, basically bringing the EP cover to life. You marvelled at the hard work Jeno had put in, it was just a shame that he wasn't sticking around to receive praise from everyone who attended.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay here ? I know how much you hate these parties” Jeno pressed his lips together as he brought you into a tight hug. You hummed and looked up at him smiling, “Only been dragged to one of these parties a million times, another round won't hurt.” Jeno responded by pressing his lips to your forehead before joining Sungchan in setting up the installation. You always wondered why Jeno opted for your forehead instead of your lips most of the time despite already having your first real kiss. You understood he wasn't big on PDA, but the only time you ever got to kiss him was at your apartment door when a date had ended or when you sneaked in a kiss at the cinema. As much as you liked his chivalry, God at times you just wished he took initiative and bent you over your kitchen counter and had his way with you. It was kinda humorous how Jeno was the ideal type of any women out there but for you, you needed an unhinged, sex-crazed maniac to match your energy.

You needed Yu-

“It looks really good Jeno.” Your breathing hitched when you heard Yuta’s voice from behind you. You turned around but to your surprise he wasn't alone. Yuta was accompanied by a familiar face, Mei, a part-time designer from a few floors down. The way she held onto his arm made something stir inside of you. Your cheeks burned up and you dare say it for the first time you felt...jealous.

You were used to seeing Yuta with many different girls but it was always some nobody that he never bothered to introduce to the group. He always made sure none of them integrated with his work life but Mei, Mei was the first person you actually knew.

“y/n its been a while, Oh my God you look great” she said sweetly and you returned a friendly smile despite your awkwardness. Yuta gave you a quick glance not really paying you any mind as he kept a steady hand on Mei’s lower back, the two of them practically looking like a couple. It made you feel uneasy. After all he had said to you that afternoon in the shower, It seemed like he didn't mean it.

“It’s perfect Jeno you really outdid yourself” Taeyong applauded as the rest of the team finally arrived, all congratulating Jeno on his first big project under Blank Space. Jeno shyly thanked everyone and checked his watch, sighing that it was already time for him to depart.

“You're going now ?” You walked over to wrap your arms around his waist. You didn't care much before about Jeno leaving early, before Yuta decided to bring a date to the party which meant you would definitely be on your own. Jeno pouted and stroked your head, “yeah, we're still on for Sunday though right ?” and you replied with a nod before sinking into one of his very warm hugs. You had no idea why, but the need to ease your jealousy and get back at Yuta was so strong that you ended up pulling out of the hug and kissed Jeno in front of everyone. Thankfully Jeno didn't shy away and maybe the guilt of leaving you made him return the kiss, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you against your body.

“Get a room you guys” Ten joked when the two of you finally pulled away, and Jeno chuckled shyly before leaning into your ear, “let’s do that more often” he cheekily smiled and pecked your lips once more before making his way to the exit. Johnny watched as Yuta still looked visibly uncomfortable, more so now than before. But Johnny also knew how damn stubborn Yuta was and watched him throw his arm around Mei, departing from the group most likely for the rest of the night.

It was late into the night and Yuta was already way too many shots down to call himself sober. Mei was talking but he was not listening. Mei was a nice girl who had made it known to him that she liked him for a while now, but unfortunately for her she was not you. All Yuta wanted was you and again he cursed himself for being so fucking hooked. He wanted to make you jealous but after he saw you kiss Jeno it just came back to him ten thousand times harder. He came to terms with his addiction now in his drunken state he was scanning the crowd for a glimpse of the only person he cared about.

You.

“Hey I'm going to leave now...do you want to come with ?” Mei nervously bit down on her lip hoping the man she's been pining for months will finally take notice of her.

“Nah im good, I’m probably going to wait until my friends leave” Yuta replied coldly, his eyes still scanning the crowd as he took another sip from his jack daniels and coca-cola concoction. Mei nodded, disappointed that her night had not gone as planned and left silently, leaving her date to finally gain his freedom.

Yuta scanned the crowd for the tenth time until he did a double take at a figure in the back corner, dancing on their own with no care in the world. Downing the rest of his drink Yuta kept his eyes focused on you despite the alcohol blurring his vision and his body feeling heavy, he had to get to you.

You were in the same state as him, most likely worse since Lucas challenged you to a drink off. You had no clue when you separated from the rest of the group so you stuck a little corner hoping to sober up before heading home. As you swayed along to the music you felt someone wrap their hands around your waist and the familiar scent of that Tom Ford perfume made you realize who it was.

“Yuta…” you groaned, pulling his hands away from your body, still remembering how awful he made you feel a few hours earlier. God were you the rebound chick now ? The thought alone was sickening.

Yuta, still blissfully unaware that you were mad at him, still pushed his body against yours until your back was pressed against the wall and you had no choice but to look up at him. You watched him move his face down in order to capture your lips, but you quickly evaded it with a turn of your head. Yuta scoffed and sufficed for your neck, giving you soft wet kisses all the way down to your collarbones until you pushed him off yet again.

“What the fuck ?” He growled in your ear, “I thought we had a deal.” You rolled your eyes at him, there was the side of Yuta you hated the most. You wondered how long it would be until he factory reseted back to an asshole.

“I thought I was first choice” you snapped at him, “all your talk about no one can satisfy you like I can, use me y/n, I only want you” you mimicked his voice and flipped him off with your finger. Yuta knew you were jealous but it was kind of ironic given the situation. You were the one in a relationship, not him. “Oh so I'm supposed to see you suck face with Jeno but I can't have any fun y/n ?” Yuta had you back against the wall, this time his hand was locked on your jaw with his lips against your ear.

“Maybe I should've fucked Mei” Yuta’s voice was dark, you felt him smirk against your ear when his words clearly affected you, “Maybe if I fucked her she would've been so good that i would forget all about you y/n.” Your eyes darted to him and he cocked his head, challenging you, waiting to see how much you could take before you caved. Normally you’d be the one getting Yuta riled up like this. It was common knowledge that Yuta was a very jealous person and just mentioning another man sexually he would lose his mind. Once you were craving his attention and casually mentioned to him that if Doyoung was interested you’d let him screw you on his office desk, and Yuta responded by fucking you senseless in the supply closet until the only name that escaped your lips was his.

But now the tables were turned and you didn't want to hear about Mei. You didn't want to picture her next to Yuta let alone in bed with him. It was selfish on your part considering Jeno, but you wanted Yuta all to yourself.

“Shut up” you narrowed your eyes at him and grabbed a fist full of his shirt and brought him closer. Yuta traced his thumb over your lips and smiled, already knowing he won this round.

“Tell me why I cant fuck her right now y/n, tell me” he coaxed, and you responded by pulling him into a sensual kiss, your tongue slipping into his mouth and your hand palming his member until you heard him groan in your ear,

You pulled away from the kiss and pressed your swollen lips to his ear, “Because...you're mine.” Yuta licked his own lips at your words and grabbed at your ass,

“Show me I'm yours, baby.”

You had no idea when and how the both of you got to Yuta’s apartment in one piece but the moment he had his foot in the door, Yuta was tugging your dress over your head. “Fuck why do you always wear the most  complicated things” Yuta whined which you found cute even though you would never let him know that you were well aware of his adorable side. Sighing from victory, Yuta finally got your dress off and pulled you into his familiar bedroom, which you honestly missed so fucking much.

Taking in the familiar scent of his perfume and his slightly messy room, with posters on the walls, and a rack of band shirts - it was his little heaven and you loved it.

You walked over to lie on his bed, sinking into the soft fabric of the bed sheets as a familiar rock song began playing from Yuta’s stereo. You watched him as he discarded his shirt and ripped jeans, showing off his chest tattoos and belly ring, just the sight of him was already making you wet. Yuta was none the better, groaning as his boner pushed against the fabric of his underwear as his eyes took in your body, sexily laid out for him like you used to be.

“Fuck…” his lips parted as he watched you spread your legs, waiting for him obediently. Yuta crawled up onto the bed and nestled in between your thighs, his mischievous eyes looking up at yours before he began peeling away the thin piece of fabric revealing your core.

“You're…so…wet baby” he said in a low voice and leaned in to give your heat a soft kiss. The instant contact made your body shiver, reaching down to play with his dark curls. “Yuta…please” you whined as he continued his light kisses, not giving you the pressure you desired. Yuta looked up with an innocent face and cocked his head, “Why should I do it ?” His fingers traced circles on your hips and abdomen, waiting for an answer.

“Because…you’re mine Yuta, I want you…all to myself…I want to please me, only me” you threw your head back. Not having sex for over a month was really getting to you and the frustration had you saying just about anything. Yuta watched you squirm and after hearing those words he figured it was a good enough reward for his dear fuck-buddy. Yuta kissed your core once more but this time his tongue darted out every once in a while, awarding you with a better sensation. You moaned inaudible words as he began eating you out like a pro, lapping away like his life depended on it before inserting two fingers inside you.

“Yuta wait I’m gonna-“ you grabbed onto his hair, feeling your orgasm come on way too early for your liking as his fingers moved rapidly and his tongue licked away at your clit. Yuta ignored your plea knowing this was only the first of many and honestly he was glad that he was still the only man giving you orgasms for the past couple of months.

Yuta pulled away, a devilish smirk spread across his face as he watched you cum all over his fingers and just as your vision was in focus you had the pleasure of seeing him lick his fingers clean as if he just had the most amazing meal ever,

“Mmmm tasty” he bit down on his lip and winked at you. God he was so damn cocky, and it didn’t take you long to recover from that orgasm to make room for another. You got to your knees and sat back, your face now level with Yuta’s clothed member.

Yuta groaned as you palmed him, his length already twitching against your touch. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone but since the night you had called it off with him, his desire had subsided and he wondered if you were the sole reason for his high sex drive. You placed your lips against his belly ring, giving it a kiss before pulling down his boxers and allowing his member to spring free. Yuta cursed as your tongue swiped across the tip and you looked up at him with those large eyes, and Yuta knew exactly what you were waiting for. Positioning your mouth over his tip, you waited until Yuta grabbed a fistful of your hair and guided you down on his length, groaning loudly as you took in all of him.

Yuta’s hips began to meet your rhythm and the grip on your hair tightened, the sudden roughness made you shiver with excitement. You and Yuta always liked it rough, since it took out your anger on each other and any type of nurturing or romance would throw off the dynamic.  

Yuta threw his head back as he released, keeping you on him until you swallowed every bit. He muttered curse words as he pulled out and watched you lick your lips, swiping the corner of your mouth with your thumb and sucked it off.

“Yum” you mimicked his words from earlier with a smirk essentially driving Yuta crazy with lust. You giggled as he pushed you onto the bed and attacked you with bites and kisses, leading from your neck down to the valley of your breasts. “How long until you get hard again?” You sighed playfully but winced when Yuta’s teeth sunk into your skin, punishing you for your words.

“Cocky aren’t we ?” He moved back up to your lips and kissed you passionately. Just as you began melting into the kiss, Yuta pulled away and jumped off his bed heading to his closet.

“What are you doing ?” You groaned as you watched him sift through the mess of his closet until he finally retrieved a familiar box. “Yuta you’re literally hard right now, come on let’s just fuck already” you whined, knowing that when Yuta brought out that box it was his way of getting rid of your bratty attitude.

“If you wanna be impatient two can play at that game” he grinned and hopped onto the bed, pulling out his favorite pair of hair cuffs and with ease, cuffed you to his headboard. You watched him look through his box of toys, rubbing your thighs together excited about what his choice will be.

Yuta grabbed something out of the box and discarded the rest onto the floor, making his way back up to your body and pressed his lips against your ear, “you remember the safe word baby ?” Yuta pecked you when you nodded and you watched him insert a mini vibrator in your core and roll off the bed with the remote in his hand.

“I wasn’t even that mean to you” you grumbled, still getting used to the device inserted in you. Yuta shrugged and turned the device on, keeping it on a low setting as he watched you stir in his bed.

“I’m not punishing you for that actually, I’m punishing you for something else you did” he said calmly, pacing around the room butt ass naked.  You frowned and thought back to the party when he had found you, what did you say to him ?

“I’m sorry I pushed you…away” you pouted but a moan escaped your lips when you felt the setting turn higher and you watched Yuta shake his head, “nope that’s not it.” You groaned and threw your head back, unable to even think what the hell he could be on about. Yuta would get mad at every little thing so it honestly could’ve been anything.

“Can’t I have a hint or something ?” You pleaded and Yuta raised his eyebrow and eventually sighed, giving in too easily. “It happened in the beginning at the party” he said annoyingly, and finally something in your brain clicked.

“The kiss ? You’re mad over the kiss ?” Your words fell off when you felt the vibrator go another setting higher, the new speed was decent enough to start building a second orgasm. “You don’t sound like you’re apologizing for it” Yuta scoffed and dangled the remote in front of your face, “this goes up 4 more speeds y/n.”

“Why do I need to apologize for kissing my boyfriend when-“

Another setting higher.

“Fuck wait Yuta” you breathed, it was impossible to even keep focused at the new speed and the sensation was now running throughout your entire body. “You kissed him in front of me to make me jealous didn't you?” Yuta questioned and you nodded frantically, pressing your thighs together to ease the intensity, “yes yes oh my God, I wanted to make you….jealous because you brought someone else…and..fuck” just as you felt your body finally build up a perfect orgasm the vibrator suddenly turned off and you were met with Yuta’s cocky smile.

“You like to have it all don’t you y/n” he hummed as flung the remote aside and knelt between your thighs that were shaking from the orgasm denial. “You want to fuck me, but not let me fuck anyone else, you want Jeno but you don’t want me to get mad over it” he continued as he pulled the dripping wet toy out of your core and tossed it to the floor. Yuta placed his hands on either side of you and looked down at your defeated face and smiled, “Do you want me to fuck someone else?”

You shook your head and Yuta undid one of the handcuffs. He pressed a soft kiss to your cheek and again asked you another question, “Do you want to fuck me ?” and you quickly nodded, earning your second hand free from the cuffs allowing them to fall to your sides. Yuta placed his hand around your throat and squeezed gently, smirking as you arched your back, thirsting for him so desperately.

“Who would fuck you better, me or Jeno ?” Yuta mused as his hand released a bit of pressure on your throat. “Y-you” your voice was small and Yuta released your throat and his hand moved down to smack your thigh.

“Say it, say who will fuck you better” he hissed.

“You Yuta, you will fuck me better than anyone…better than Jeno” Yuta grinned at your words, a little surprised that you used Jeno’s name in such a blasphemous way. He was in euphoria at this point. It was all he needed to hear after continuously seeing you and Jeno look as if you were in love with each other.

It was all wrong.

You and him loved each other.

Fuck. He loved you. He really did.

Yuta pushed his length into your core and groaned as the realization of his thoughts and his conversation with Johnny all hit him at once. The sight of you beneath him, moaning his name and your confession that you wanted him over Jeno. It was all too much.

You moaned as he thrusted into you, his hips violently hitting against yours as your nails dug into his lower back. The lewd sounds filled the room and for a second the two of you looked into each other’s eyes, both feeling something…different. Usually Yuta would be fucking you from behind, his favourite position because he loved looking at your ass but tonight especially after his sudden questioning, he took care of you differently.

You don’t know what came over you and it was yet another thing you never did during sex but you pulled him down to kiss you. Your lips moved passionately against his, desperately clinging to his body as his strokes became longer and more powerful. Yuta sighed into the kiss, palming your cheek and his movements suddenly became more gentle as if he were making love to you, not fucking you.

“Yuta…I’m close” you moaned into his ear, loving this new feeling of him on your body. Yuta hummed in response and quickened his pace, making sure to sneak in a kiss every now and then until he finally brought you to your long awaited orgasm. You watched him bite down on his lip as he thrusted into you, chasing his own orgasm until he pressed his against your ear and said the words you never thought you’d hear from him.

“I love you y/n”

Your body slightly froze as Yuta finally came and he rolled off your body, mentally cursing himself for allowing those words to escape his mouth at this moment. But it’s what he felt.

Johnny was right.

“W-what ?” You finally managed to say and turned to him. Yuta licked his lips and kept his focus on the ceiling above him.

“You heard me right” he said calmly and you felt your heart race. Where was this coming from ? He was the one who always implemented the no romance rule and he chooses now, the moment you’re seeing someone else to confess to you.

“I have to go” you murmured and jumped off the bed, starting to collect your clothes from the floor. You heard the bed creak and Yuta sat up and watched you dress up. “It’s late now y/n and you drank, stay the night and leave when the suns up” he insisted, eventually grabbing his own boxers,

“Here you can sleep in one of my shirts and you’re welcome to sleep in my bed for the night.”

“Y-you…that was one of the rules…no staying over” you were biting on your nails, everything that had happened in the last ten minutes made no sense. Yuta shoved the shirt into your hands and sighed, “Look, we don’t have to talk about what I said or what happened, just stay the night and you can go back to your perfect life with Jeno.” Yuta began making his way to his door when you grabbed onto his arm making him stop in his tracks,

“Where are you going ?” You asked him softly.

Yuta looked at you and sighed, “I’m going to sleep on the couch.”

“Yuta..”

“What ?”

“Stay with me.”

—-—————————————————————

You had no idea why you had told him to stay in bed with you considering all that had happened a few minutes ago. But here you were, curled into his chest listening to his heartbeat as he lightly stroked your hair.

“How…long ?” You broke the silence and felt his heartbeat slightly race, “The realization came recently but I’ve…always liked you y/n” Yuta responded softly.

“Well you don’t have a good way of showing it” you rolled your eyes and Yuta’s soft laughter filled the room. “Well at first you actually were annoying but I did find you cute” He replied and shifted until you were on your back looking up at him,

“You put up with me and we’re not afraid to fight back. You know it’s not even about the sex, I think we’ve always enjoyed each other’s company, we just have a weird way of showing it.” You listened to his words and did a bit of reflection for yourself. You were already well aware that he occupied your mind 24/7 and did not enjoy seeing him around other girls he would eventually sleep with. But was this…love ? You weren't so sure.

“Do you ever think it’s more of an addiction rather than…love ?” You looked up at him, hoping your words did not offend his sudden confession in any way. Yuta sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling deep in thought.

“What is love then ?” He murmured, clearly by the look on his face he had been pondering on this question for a while now. You joined him in laying on your back and looked up at the ceiling, “love is when the other person completes you” you began, “when you’re having a dull day and just the sight of them could turn that around. Love is wanting to protect that person all the time, it’s just love.”

Yuta turned to you, “have you ever been in love ?”

You shook your head. “I don’t think so.”  Yuta shrugged and returned his focus above him, “whatever you just described is how I feel, but maybe I’m just still hung up on the Jeno situation.” You felt a pang in your chest as if you just completely destroyed his spirit. You always saw Yuta as a strong confident presence, yet the person next to you seemed lost, he looked broken. But deep down you knew that whatever he was describing had floated in your head from time to time, maybe it needed to be said out loud for you to finally realize.

“Give me a week”

“Huh ?” Yuta’s eyebrows raised at you.

“Give me a week to figure all of this out and we will have this talk again” you sat up and looked back at him. Yuta propped himself up on his elbows and shook his head, “y/n, if you don’t feel the same way it’s okay I won’t come in between you and…Jeno anymore.”

“Yuta”

“Hmm?”

You pulled the boy by his shirt until you were able to lock your lips with his, slipping your tongue into his mouth and he mimicked your actions before pulling away, a confused expression spreading across his face.

“I don’t know where this is going to go and whether we’re right for each other,” you chuckled dryly, “but I will always want you Yuta, you’re not coming between Jeno and I because the one who wants… .”

————————————————————————

It was finally Monday and you already regretted seeing Jeno at the office since you faked a terrible hangover to get out of the Sunday date, something that wasn’t entirely a lie. You spent the whole of Sunday laying in your bed thinking about the night you spent with Yuta and all that was shared during the morning.

You thought back on your own words about what your version of love was. Protecting someone. You reminisced about the days when Yuta got sick after a night out and you were the one to take care of him despite his protests. You thought back to when the two of you were working on a project, arguing as usual and you managed to slip on a wet paint spot, causing you to sprain your ankle. Yuta was the one to help you around the office when needed, he wasn’t appointed to you nor did he have to use up his own time to help you but he did it anyway.

When you were having a dull day the person you loved would find a way to brighten it up, just the sight of them was enough. There was an occasion where a client got real mean with you in the office, and hated the project you worked almost a month on, refusing to pay you for the labor you had put in. Yuta had seen the commotion and joined you in your booth and the two of you flooded the clients company with hilarious bad reviews anonymously until you were literally tearing up from laughter. That was one of the rare days the two of you didn’t get into an argument and the moment completely slipped your mind. You had  forgotten that Yuta and you actually shared fond memories of each other outside the bedroom.

You thought about every moment you got to the office and Yuta would be sticking his tongue out at you, calling you names and being a jerk as usual. But days when he had to work out of the office felt boring, empty, it wasn’t worth sitting in your cubicle without seeing him across from you.

But then after feeling the warm fuzziness of knowing Yuta felt the same way about you, your phone buzzed with Jeno’s name across the screen. Why were you doing this to him ? Why was Jeno in the crossfire when all he wanted to do was get to know you better ?

All you ever wanted was a distraction from the man you were scared to fall in love with.

“Heyyy you, you feeling okay ?” Jeno beamed when you entered the office, immediately bringing you into a tight hug and ending with a kiss on the cheek. You nodded and the sense of guilt over took your body as you looked up at his cheery smile.

“I heard you guys got so wasted at the party, damn I wish I stayed” Jeno giggled as the two of you walked hand in hand over to your cubicle. “Yeah it was…crazy” you faked a smile before settling in your seat. You looked across, a force of habit and you were greeted by a soft smile from Yuta before quietly returning to his work.

“I was thinking we should go see that new marvel movie tonight, what do you think ?” Jeno’s eyes were so bright and full of energy that everytime you looked into them it just made it harder to keep up your facade. “I’m pretty busy this week but hey Friday you can come over, I…need to talk to you anyway” you bit down on your lip and Jeno’s expression changed from excited to slightly wary, clearly noticing that something wasn’t quite right.

“Is….everything okay?” He asked in a staggered voice, and you slowly nodded and reached to squeeze his hand, “yeah let’s hang out on Friday okay ?” You smiled and Jeno pressed his lips together and nodded. You watched him exit your cubicle and all that was left in your view was the only person you wanted to see today, Yuta.

Yuta looked up and caught your stare, smiling softly as he rested his chin on the palm of his hand and winked at you. It was sweet and innocent, nothing like how he usually acted from across the room. You found yourself blushing and hid your face until you heard a beep come from your phone. Opening the messenger app you were greeted by a picture of yourself hiding your crimson cheeks with the message ‘Cute’ attached to it.

y/n: didn’t take you for a simp.

yutaa: fuck off, I have a folder like this.

You stifled your laughter when Yuta sent a screenshot with a folder just of you in your cubicle. From you flipping him off, to you glaring at him clearly pissed off at something he had said, and one of you trying your best to pay attention to whatever story Yangyang was on about.

y/n: oh my god you’re a BIG SIMP.

yutaa: maybe.

y/n: well I do have ONE of you that I don’t have the heart to delete.

yutaa: oh really ?

You sent Yuta a picture you absolutely treasured of him in your bed fast asleep hugging one of your plushies. It was one of the last nights you had with him before things got sour. Normally you’d never allow him to nap in your bed after a hookup but he looked so at peace and so adorable  that you decided to bend the rules a little.

yutaa: that was a good ass nap. yutaa: simp.

y/n: maybe.

The rest of the day went on and honestly you felt as if you were on cloud nine, chatting to Yuta like he was your high school crush. Smiling every time he texted back and glancing up every now and then, waiting for him to look at you with that cheeky grin. But as reality set in and Yuta’s smile faded, you were still dating another man. Who now had his arms wrapped around your waist peppering kisses all over your neck and shoulder while Yuta looked on, not being able to do a thing about it.

————————————————————————

The team decided to head out for dinner the next day, and something in Jeno had switched. After Yuta had watched him cuddle you until the day was over, you barely even got the chance to talk to Yuta face to face since Jeno offered to take you home. He was being suspiciously clingy and you wondered if he suspected anything.

“You’re okay with sharing a pasta and plate of fries ?” Jeno smiled over at you, one hand rubbing your waist and the other holding up the wooden menu. You nodded and Jeno placed his order in with Johnny who was doing the rounds for everyone. Yuta sat across from you and you could feel his stare on you from time to time, and the moments it felt like he was staring, Jeno’s grip on your waist got tighter.

“Is...is something wrong ?” you leaned into Jeno as he took a sip of his water. Even though he was smiling, his jaw was clenched signaling that he was trying to suppress himself from doing or saying something. “I'm just really tired” he rubbed your back and to your surprise leaned in to capture your lips. It was innocent but your lack of effort to mind his feelings wasn't good enough for Yuta. Frankly he had no idea where you two stood at the moment, for all he knew you could be playing him right now. It probably wasn't the case though, but Yuta was not really used to his life getting a happy ending. The night drove on and the group split with you, Ten, Doyoung, Taeyong and Renjun seated at the table while the rest of the guys were hanging around the bar babysitting their drinks. Jeno was really a changed man since high school. He was so confident, well-built and a good socialite with the team. You watched him lean against the bar counter, drink in hand entertaining whatever story Lucas had for the night.

“So you and y/n huh ? Have you scored yet ?” Lucas raised his brow cheekily to which Jeno chuckled and shook his head, “Really Lucas ? were talking about my sex life now ?” Yuta was in conversation with Johnny and Sungchan but he couldn't help but overhear your name in the chat next to him.

“Yeah man, I'm sure she’s good too after locking down my boy Yuta” Lucas smirked and Yuta flinched when the boisterous man grabbed onto his shoulder and pulled him into the conversation. “Even though they hate each other I just know they had the best hook ups” Lucas laughed despite Johnny trying to make him shut up.

“Well that’s all over now” Jeno’s eyes narrowed on Yuta before looking up at Lucas, “she invited me over tonight and considering the type of pictures she sent me, i'm guessing it’s going to be one hell of a night.” Yuta’s chest felt tight not only at the possibility that you may have invited him over to finally sleep with him but mainly because of the way Jeno spoke about you. He probably only shared that information to appease Lucas but hinting at you sending him nudes was not something you would like the guys to know about.

“She’s really been trying to speed up the process between us too it's cute actually” Jeno continued as Yangyang and Lucas egged him on, “that night after that painting you guys did for Mark Lee she was practically begging me to fuck her after our movie date. God if my brother didn't give me all those errands I would've done so right on the kitchen counter.”

Yuta shot back the rest of his drink and stormed off as Lucas and Yangyang hyped up Jeno, pouring him another shot and laughing erratically in their drunken state. From where you were seated you saw Yuta storm off and watched Johnny run after him worriedly, making you slightly anxious.

“Yuta don't listen to them man '' Johnny huffed as he finally caught up to his friend a few blocks down from the restaurant. “I dont fucking care man I really dont” Yuta chuckled dryly and ran his fingers through his hair, “It doesnt matter because at the end of the day im still the worthless piece of shit and guys like him are God fucking sent.” Johnny watched Yuta’s expression change and he turned around to find you standing there, desperately looking between them for context.

“Yuta what happened ?” you asked in a small voice and the familiar sting in his chest returned, hearing you call out his name, following him out here while Jeno was still inside, it was all just confusing to him.

“I thought you giving us a week meant you felt the same way and I could finally relax knowing you were going to be with me y/n” Yuta groaned in frustration while Johnny took a step away from the heated exchange. You shook your head as you approached him, “yes I did, so what's the problem ?” Yuta scoffed and folded his arms. “What's the problem ? doesn't look like anything’s changed y/n. I have to see you act like the couple of the year after telling you how I felt about you ? That's brilliant.”

“I told you I would speak to him this week” you snapped, unbothered by the now random onlookers who were concerned at the scene taking place. “But fine honestly Yuta if you really want me to say it you have my permission to fuck some random girl until im finally free.” You rolled your eyes about to turn on your heels to leave when you felt a tug on your wrist and Yuta pulled you into a kiss. He held your face in his hands as he kissed you passionately, sighing as he slowly pulled away and pressed his forehead against yours,

“When I said I loved you I fucking meant it y/n, I only want you. But please, if youre going to invite him over or send him dirty...pictures atleast tell him not to tell the whole fucking world about it.”

You took a step back and frowned at his words, “What ? What pictures ?”

“The ones he told Lucas about, y/n honestly I don't care I was just mad that he was airing your business out like that” Yuta bit down on his lip and yet again you were deeply confused as to what he was on about.

“I...I didn't send him anything” you responded, “I didn't invite him over tonight and I definitely haven't sent him any...nudes.”

“Tell that to him then”

You turned around and noticed most of the team was now outside watching the commotion go down and right in front was Jeno, who by the look on his face had most likely seen the kiss you just shared with Yuta.

Jeno approached the both of you with an irritated groan and scoffed, “I was going to ignore the signs but God I was so right, you were still fucking him this entire time ?” You lowered your head and Yuta glared at Jeno, “If you knew all this time why didn't you just break up with her and move on ?”

Jeno rolled his eyes and took a step closer to Yuta to which Johnny quickly responded by placing a firm hand on Jeno’s shoulder making sure the boy was at safe distance from his best friend.

“I'm not like you Yuta” Jeno licked his lips, “unlike you I respect her, I understand that she was going back to you because you like to play around, you never cared about her until I showed up. You were threatened by the fact that you were no longer in control of her.”

“Nobody is in control of me first of all” you chimed in, “and second what’s this about me inviting you over and sending you nudes that apparently the whole fucking bar knows about”

“It's just banter y/n” Jeno shook his head.

“Banter ?” Yuta repeated, “didnt know talking about how you were going to fuck your girlfriend on the kitchen counter in front of her coworkers is banter.”

“What?” you walked up to Jeno, “W-where is this coming from Jeno ? you’re not like this.”

“Well how am I supposed to be y/n ?” Jeno raised his voice, “you wouldn't mind if he said that to you. You're always letting him get away with shit. Im the one sitting around here knowing my damn girlfriend is fucking around with someone else yet somehow still trying to forgive you and figure this out.”

“Why, though ?” you shrugged, “Is it because you want to prove to other people that you're the bigger person ?”

“Would you rather be with someone like him ? someone who will probably throw you aside after he’s bored, or someone like me who was always patient, always willing to put you first no matter what” Jeno reached for your hand, his eyes widening when you shrugged him off.

“Someone who I barely know that talks about me to my friends like im just some kind of whore or someone i've known for a while and not once shared anything intimate that happened between us,” you looked over at Yuta, “It was my one rule, the same rule I gave you Jeno and he was, Yuta is the only one who has abided to it.”

“y/n Im sorry,” Jeno lowered his voice, “we hurt each other and I want to fix that, just make your final decision...me or Yuta”

“Jeno….I apologize for using you, I'm sorry for leading and hurting your feelings” you began and Yuta slowly shook his head and turned around ready to hear the bad news that always seemed to follow him,

“But as crazy as it may sound to everyone here, I'm most like myself when I'm with Yuta, I love the person I am when I'm around him” Yuta turned at your words and instead of the sting he felt a sense of warmth. Hearing you say that in front of everyone who wanted the two of you apart, besides Johnny ofcourse, was absolute bliss.

“Who knows maybe it won't work and it will explode but I really want to try, that's the thing I'm most sure of, I really really want to try” you smiled as Yuta made his way over to you and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Let's get out of here” Yuta whispered before placing a kiss on your cheek and draping his arm over your shoulder as the two of you exited the street walking away from the mess and not even giving it a second glance.

The two of you ended up at your apartment full of smiles and giggles as you slowly discarded your clothes on the way to the bedroom. Once your back touched your soft duvet covers Yuta pressed his body against yours and peppered your skin with kisses all the way up to your ear. “I want to try something different” he whispered and you nodded in response while Yuta pulled his shirt over his head and discarded his jeans. Yuta pulled you on top of his body and returned to your lips, kissing you slowly and passionately. His touches were so delicate and nurturing that every time his fingers ran down your back you felt butterflies in your stomach. You unhooked your bra shimmied out of it, still attached to the addictive taste of Yuta’s lips. He slowly rolled you onto your back and left soft kisses all the way down your neck, down the valley of your breasts until he reached your abdomen. You watched as he pulled your underwear off, looking at your body like it was the most beautiful thing he had seen. That was it. Instead of lust he looked at you with love. He looked like he wanted to take care of you, be gentle with you, savour every moment he had with you. Your breathing hitched when you quickly realized that he inserted himself inside of you and used one arm to steady himself on the bed as he lent down to meet your lips. His strokes were slow but sharp, digging his nails into your thigh from time to time, preventing himself from losing control. Wanting to feel more of him you signaled that you wanted to switch positions and Yuta licked his lips as he watched you place your knees on either side of him and sit down on his member. “F-fuck” he cursed as you began to ride him, keeping to his wishes of keeping things calm and slow. Yuta wrapped his arms tightly around your waist as the two of you kissed in between your moans, twirling your tongue with his as your hips slammed into his.

“Y-Yuta…” you moaned, feeling a tear escape your eye as the long night and the building orgasm caught up with you.

“Yes baby ?” he hummed in your ear.

“I really fucking love you” you sighed, just the words finally leaving your mouth made you sob with joy. It felt so fucking good to finally say it out loud.

Yuta responded by flipping you onto your back and chased both his and your orgasm, fucking you with his usual intensity until you came and he followed straight after, filling the room with heavy pants and both of you trying to catch your breath.

“I love you too y/n” He finally said, bringing you to his chest and pressed his lips against your forehead.

The two of you lay in your bed both napping for a bit until the first sight of dawn began filling the bedroom. You winced at the sun and hid your face in Yuta’s arms as he grinned at your actions.

“I don't want to go to work!” you grumbled.

“Fuck go to work after all the drama you caused ?” Yuta pinched your cheek playfully, earning a nudge in his side from you.

“Anyway” Yuta continued, “I got an email from Taeyong and he said if we want we can work remotely, he gave us the Okinawa project.” You sat up in bed and turned to face him, “the Okinawa project ? Its 9 months in Japan, the same project the whole damn building was trying to get” you blinked, still unsure if Yuta was just fucking with you.

“That's the one” Yuta shrugged, “anyways he said he was going to send either of us anyway since he knows we always get the job done. Oh and he actually said something really funny actually”

“What ?” you raised your brow and watched Yuta reread the text message on his phone.

“He said Doyoung was the one who suggested the two of us be the ones to go, who would've thought ?” Yuta closed the messages and tucked himself back into bed.

“Yeah” you smiled, “Who would've thought.”

THE END