#To all the writers out there who wanna write goofy stories that make no sense I gotchu

[pettyartist]

Been reading more fic again recently and I realized some of my favorite fics have the dumbest premises and I love them for it. Honestly, they're half the reason I clicked the link for the fic in the first place.

And like, sure, some of these make no logical sense or have easy solutions that irl you'd fix them but where's the fun in that?

There was only one bed? -slaps your smartphone out of your hand- stop looking for an airbnb.

They eat a fruit that causes them to blurt out their innermost secrets and they don't know if the other actually heard or remembers what they said? I don't care that this plant doesn't exist, it does for the purposes of this story.

They are in a competition to see if they can woo someone before someone else can but, no, they don't have feelings for them really nope never it's definitely just to see if they can do it? -plugs my ears- I can't hear you telling me how silly it is.

Main characters are handcuffed together for a whole week? Shh, put down the bolt cutters this is funny I wanna see where it goes.

Moral of the story is, don't let your logical side tell you that your writing prompt is silly or that it needs to make sense or be logical-- Live cringe die free have a happy reader in me

[qcomicsy]

I was going to reblog with a comment but that post is already super long. But so true ! Like the ninja assassin thing with Dick is a modern retcon something that would be a Tim Cass or Damian thing to do. But writing a flashback for an adult Dick in the 2000s would be weird. By the 1960s he was firmly in canon 18 and in college. How are you gonna go back to the era of goofy and be like this is Dick’s angsty teenage years involved getting turned into a vampire and fighting Bruce over dating Talia. It just doesn’t make sense with how Long comics keep going. 80 years of comics and he’s only what 28. Like it’s very hard to keep a consistent character when everyone wants to make Dick Jason and Bruce new characters every few decades

Absolutely!

My personal view about how they kept retconning Dick's personality as a child and his relationship with Bruce is that it's a mix of complex things and bullshit.

The complex things is yeah, Dick and Bruce had their share of problems when Dick was growing up. They did start bumping heads a lot, but it was more like "this kid is turning into a man and is starting to clash views with his father (who is already someone who's not easy to deal with)" and "that's the part where he starts to develop who he is as person" (I won't get much into that because I haven't read many comics regarding Dick transition from Robin from Batman & Robin to Robin from Titans until Nightwing in the pre-death of the family era.) than the borderline abusive and toxic relationship they started to introducing in the late 90's to early 2000's portrayals of them.

It's complex because after rebooting everything it's hard to introduce such a long and gradual process that took almost ten years of development that is Dick's emancipation not only from working with Bruce but also following his every step as boy wonder. Specially if we think about the huge fall out they had right after Jason died.

It's bullshit because they started with those retcons when we had that long and embarrassing period of Super-hero history (late 90's to early 2000's) where everyone was trying to make super-heroes popular again but following alongside with a palpable embarrassment and self-conscious shame regarding any silliness and/or whimsical side the superhero universe. Like "we're making superheroes stories but this is for adults, this ain't for children 😡😡". Nobody wanted to be the "60's Batman TV show everyone makes fun of" and everybody wanted to be Alan Moore.

We had all this writers who grow up reading "Death of the family", "The Killing Joke", "Batman Year one" add were dying to recreate the 80's dark period glory, even if they didn't had the same writing skills for that.

I mean hate the Killing Joke all you want (I know I do), it has a shit tone of good writing.

It's bullshit because everyone was still sore about how Batman turned into a joke in the 90's after that one movie and for some reason everyone blamed Robin. It's bullshit because comic books are always influenced by the popular media around them, and while 40's Batman had the American Way and American Family Values™ 🦅🦅🦅, 80's Batman has Scarface, Taxi Driver and long urban tragedies.... 90's have Die Hard and every extra power macho fantasy under the sun.

I mean... This was 90's Nightwing.

he's so big and so stupid and one day I'm gonna top h–*gunshots*

No one wanted to see "good father" Batman, hell no one wanted to see any emotional shit in comics? Emotions??? In my manly comics??? Miss me with that gay sit emotions is for girls 😡😡 I wanna see big buffy man making his enemies cry 🔥⛓️☠️💪☠️😡⛓️🪚🔧

So you reach early 2000, everyone kinda hates or is kinda embarrassed of Robin, Batman is a former shadow of the man and the father he used to be. But you still wanna introduce new readers to your character (Dick Grayson) that (for better or for worst) is loved but only by the people who already know him, you're still embarrassed of his silly origins and the whimsical part of it.

So what do you do?

Personally I think writers thought Dick had it too easy as Robin, personally I think they were obsessed about making it real, personally I think everyone was obssessed and trilled with the idea of being the next Tim Miller and making their one fresh real edge introduction of the boy wonder. Personally I think this is all the new 52 was absolutely on for the Batfamily.

Personally I believe (and this is more a optimistic take) some writers were creatively trying to tie Dick's anger issues as Nightwing to his origins as Robin.

You have this chance of one in million (at te time) to reintroduce Nightwing (reintroduce Robin), now you can make it as real as gritty and as edge as you want. You can make it Robin cool again, you can introduce in a way that will sell well the dark story you where preparing for this character. And you also can deny any father and son relationship he could had have with Bruce Wayne and keep the big beef strong man without feelings reputation that people have been manufacturing by choice into Batman from ten years by now.

And what is more dark and character building than an abusive father?

I think writers thought that making Bruce abusive towards Dick and Dick resentful towards Bruce was the best way to launch this new universe as realistic and grittier. Not only making Dick's Robin introduction (and origin) more "real" but also separating Bruce even more from a emotional and father like figure that for some reason some writers (and fans!) despised to much.

Killing so many birds with one stone might as well call yourself David from the Bible.

And they were so certain this direction would be a success that the just notice their mistake now.

Anyways... A load of bullshit.

I personally don't mind Dick's Robin having anger issues, I think it's a natural progression from his first real serious introduction from back in the 80's, I also think it adds more to his character tying up his first trauma along with a long life of others and the result of having to deal with a frustrating job (that is vigilantism is) since literally ever. I like the idea that the perfect Robin wasn't perfect all the time and he also had (and has) other side of his personality that isn't as nice or likeable as it should and that's a thing he consciously have to work on as a person since he was a child.

However I also think writers did took to far sometimes and Dick history and specially his relationship with Bruce suffered from it. And I also agree that if everyone tries to reboot, retcon and fucking "subvert" a character every fucking ten years you won't even have a fucking consistent character to begin with (gestures vaguely to Jason Todd, Deadpool and now poor fuckin Damian and their wreck of comic book history).

[mirapteo]

top 5 apex characters and any thoughts or opinions on them?

hey anon yeah i love you also i am about to be so annoying i might need to hide this under a "read more" (future me here. yeah i did)

1. Crypto (obviously)

- everything about him (besides current lore 😒) is perfect to me i love backstories that include a wanted criminal aspect and the fact he is wanted but innocent just adds so much more flavor & i think the whole "to break the game i must do it from the inside" idea is badass. i also love all the familial themes surrounding his backstory i love that for the most part he is a cold and calculated person but despite being jaded due to all the misfortune that happened to him in life he still cares about his family and the few people he allowed to get closer to him, that he still has the capability to do that in the first place even when it has hurt him before.

- i love the whole crypto is just a protective mask to hide tae joon park and i like to treat them as 2 separate people. my gripe is that i wish we learned more about tae joon park, but i also sorta like that it leaves room for fans to interpret who tae joon park is on their own. from the very small bits & pieces it does seem like tae joon park is an overall softer more caring & trusting person compared to the closed off, on edge person that is crypto and it makes me all emo that all the unlucky shit that happened to him in life caused him to resort to being coldhearted and distrustful even when (i personally think) he doesnt want to

- also his design fucking rips idc. maybe im just a big jacket enjoyer but its so fun, it makes sense for his personality and the cybernetics ARE SOOOOO FREAKING GNARLY they r both sexy and lore important i love it

- for issues the most obvious one is FORCING A CHEMISTRYLESS ROMANCE BETWEEN HIM AND YOU KNOW WHO. i FUCKING HATE that they have written such an intriguing backstory for him & DONT DO ANYTHING WITH IT WITHOUT IT HAVING TO INCLUDE WATTSON. i hate how they cannot be their own separate characters and have to always have their stories intertwined in some way its like the writers are allergic to making them hang out with literally anyone else. kill code as boring as it was came so fucking close to that but the recent radio play had to ruin it because of course. of fucking course.

- i also hate the completely unnecessary age retcon. i hate that it frames him as a supergenius computer whiz at a young age. he was so much more likeable & easier to sympathize with as a completely normal office worker that just wanted to provide for him & his sister, only for it to bite him in the ass when he did literally nothing to deserve it. i hate having yet another character in their early 20s in this already oversaturated age range in media as a whole.

- i hate that with every lore update hes involved in it just further mutilates his character. i hate that i cant be excited when my FAVORITE CHARACTER gets lore attention because it just provides more opportunity for the writers to stomp on him. they dont care about him as his own character. they care about him in regards to the relationships he has with other people. thats not how u write a compelling, likeable, or realistic bond between people. it makes me so mad i wanna SCREAM

- anyway crypto tae joon park is my pookie bear he is autistic and he likes dragons and cats and kpop and elliott and being a good friend to the point of sacrificing himself i like him normally also he is my oc now

2. Mirage (obviously)

- mirage is just an objectively likeable character truly like there is a reason he is essentially the face of apex. he was my first favorite & for good reason. u get lured in with his endearing goofiness & then get smacked in the face with one of the most tragic and completely undeserved backstories. maybe im just a slut for characters that "wear masks" & have completely polarizing versions of themselves as a self preservation tactic because i love Mirage being the self absorbed, smooth, attention-seeking bastard on screen and i love love LOVE Elliott Witt with his crippling fear of loneliness and inferiority complex, slowly losing the things that mattered most in his life and feeling like it was somehow his fault & he deserves it

- but i dislike the flanderization hes facing in current lore. i dont remember the last time he was anything other than the goofy guy with a stutter that cant take things seriously. that old comic of him losing his friends because of his own douchebaggery & working to fix his wrongs is my prized possession. he is hurt & lonely & it causes him to lash out on people that dont deserve it and i wish they explored that more. i desperately need more asshole mirage in my life. nowadays he just feels like the one-note silly character whos only purpose is to fill in the comic relief role.

- also he has some of the worst fans ive ever seen im sorry they were like the main reason he stopped being my favorite. they baby him like he has never done nothing wrong in his entire life & in turn shit on characters like wraith or vantage bc they were "mean to him." as if he isnt capable of being an asshole, as if there isnt an entire comic dedicated to him being an asshole. i also hate that fans either lean in 100% into his mirage personality or 100% into his elliott witt personality. he is either a loudmouthed egotistical slut or an innocent wittle mamas boy that needs to be protected at all times never anything outside or in between and it drives me insane.

- shes still my sweetie pie. my biggest kin. i love writing him sooo much. i want to chew him. i want to set him on fire. i want to tuck him in and give him a forehead kiss before he goes to bed.

coughs anyway now with all that out of the way

3. Conduit

- im filipino of course im gonna be biased but hellooooo she is also just so likeable it is insane!! a sweet, goofy fangirl we can relate to that is literally killing herself just to provide for her family ouch it hurts GIVE ME MORE. all her little easter eggs and her fun voicelines like the devs really really loved & cherished her & it shows & she deserves it! my main issue is that it is literally her season rn yet all they care about is revenant Revenant REVENANT give me more conduit! what is her story with her family? hows her sister in particular holding up? how does she cope with her illness? will she ever open up about it to any of the legends? are they ever going to try to help her? is crypto gonna help find her a cure like he did caustic & then they kiss

4. Lifeline

- love her. love her personality. a medic that also isnt afraid to get her hands dirty & chew ppl out? love that for her. i also like where the current lore has been taking her (me? liking current lore? what a shocker), the fact that she was willing to destroy one of her strongest & longest bonds to defeat a greater evil? BANGER. she hurt people & she made sacrifices to get to this point but what does she get from it? a best friend that doesnt want to speak to her & a whole fucking army of murderous robots that want her dead. i wonder if shell have a "is this really what i wanted? did i just fuck everything up?" internal crisis cuz atp i feel like she has to. id love to see it

- also i am no.1 lifeline defender idgaf the demonization shes facing in the fandom for hurting their pookie wookie bear octane is so blatant and laughable u ppl really hate black women. its ok for ur favorite male character to make questionable morally gray decisions but got forbid ajay does it. gtfo of here!

5. Rampart

- just another objectively likeable character plsss she is sooo funny & sassy and there is not a single rampart interaction/relationship she has with another legend that i hate. she also has the biggest wasted potential ever. they were cooking something so good with big sister and ramparts relation to her & NEVER DO ANYTHING WITH JT. its been 13 seasons and nothing has progressed in her lore and its so so sad. she needs a focus season soon. u dont just drop a fun character with an intriguing backstory and just ditch it.

look im not going to read this back to fix things around if it seems disjointed with a lack of direction IDCCCC i am cringe and free!

[cranberrymoons]

20 questions for fic writers

I was tagged by @steventhusiast a billion years ago and more recently by @thefreakandthehair and @just-my-latest-hyperfixation🥰

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 49 under my current account, there are some fics for other fandoms buried deep within the depths of the archive which we WILL NOT DISCUSS at this time

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 128,515

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently just stranger things! I wrote one fic for Crazyhead this summer, a single-season Netflix show from 2016 (?) and that fic has 6 hits 😎 I'm also considering writing a top gun fic (entirely your fault @urmomsonfire) (affectionate) but no promises yet

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

get it off your chest

can't start a fire

so fondly today

something so pretty

i carry this feeling

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yes!! I always respond to comments, even though it sometimes takes me a week or two. comments are genuinely so special to me and my FAVORITE thing is when someone reads a bunch of my fics in a row and I can follow their comment trail 🥹 I love comments

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I'm a happy endings girlie all the way, I genuinely don't have an answer for this 😅

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? so many of my fics are fluff-fest so I'm not really sure. maybe i carry this feeling because it's (currently) the end to a long future fic series and feels like a good buttoning-up of that story which is still being added to

8. Do you get hate on fics? someone once called me transphobic for having steve paint his nails in a fic (??) but that turned out to be a random anon from that twitter meltdown that was happening over the summer (i am not on twitter and didn't know it was even happening until after the fact)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? LMAO (yes, i write lots of fluffy goofy smut with feelings. if they're not talking and/or laughing a lot during sex, it's not a sage fic)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? no, I really struggle with the concept of crossovers in general. I don't read them usually and wouldn't really know how to begin to write one! but fics set IN the universe of something else (not a crossover where two different universe's characters interact) – I like those.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I know of in this fandom

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! but not in this fandom

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, but I would definitely be interested if it was with the right person!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I can't answer this 🫣 I will say steddie is the ship I've written the most words for

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I'm not sure I really have one that's out there right now. there are a few things in my google docs that might not see the light of day

16. What are your writing strengths? dialogue! good communication is so important to meeee and I have so much fun writing it

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I always feel like I struggle with scene-setting/imagery because I focus so much on character interaction

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've written French dialogue in fics before (not in this fandom) which made sense situationally. I think it works as long as you make sure to translate in end notes and/or through context clues, so the reader doesn't have to keep jumping back and forth between google translate

19. First fandom you wrote for? early 00s, the wizards who must not be named

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? this changes depending on my mood tbh. my usual answer is either so fondly today because I love the energy of that fic or back in the new york groove which has so much pulled from my own life. I also had a lot of fun writing wanna help my worlds collide

no pressure 😇 @urmomsonfire @wynnyfryd @thisapplepielife @shares-a-vest

[risingshards]

How I feel about my own writing ebbs and flows. Some days my ego is huge and my mindset is that I'm the best writer to ever do it or at the very least top tier who should be allowed to write all the stories I want to and should have 5000% more readership and everyone should always be paying attention to me and saying how great my stuff is!

And then other days I wonder how anyone puts up with me. That recurring thought will hit over and over, "Does anyone even like Rising Shards?" The answer is yes, I have readers and they're incredibly sweet and I'd never want to discredit them because I'm eternally grateful for every subscriber, liker, commenter, donation...but the sad brain is still loud, repeating that question about Rising Shards, wondering why I can't get attention, wondering if Reborn will be a huge failure and I'll never get anything else picked up liek that.

Realistically my writing ability is probably somewhere way far from the ego brain thinking I'm the GOAT, but also way far from the bleak depression brain side saying I suck and should just give up. Nobody's perfect and if there are writing flaws I'm aware of then there's probably a bunch I'm not aware of too. One I know is that I can't convince my workshop friends to read anything I upload (not calling them out at all ofc), I'm bad at self promo and I never make those posts that get people to care about my work and seek it out. I really wanna work on that and at least be able to promote myself better.

But my writing's got to be at least kinda decent. I got an audience with Rising Shards, and Reborn in a Fighting Game with My Rival got picked up by Tapas. I wish I could be happier about that but it's hard. A big goal I've had the last few weeks is even if I think I suck at this, I want to keep going, and to keep making cozy stories that are comforting as everything gets bleaker and tougher.

Nothing may make sense in the world and it's painful to read the news for more than .0002 seconds, but one could catch up on a long slice of life web novel about a bunch of gay monster girlies living their lives and falling in love and getting up to silliness, you could read Rising Shards, and if you check in on upload days they're still living their lives, still going, like a group of friends you can hang out with. If you want a goofy isekai about rivals reincarnated into their favorite fighting game, you can read Reborn in a Fighting Game with My Rival. I hope I can at least be comforting and fun in sad times not just to my readers, but to me as well.

[thrill-seeker-vn]

Oof I have a few.👀👀👀

1. Do you have any celebrity crushes atm?

2. Whats your process behind character creation?

3. Are you a pantser or outliner?

4. Do you have a favourite kpop band/soloist?

5. What are you and the ROs music taste like?

6? How would you describe your fashion sense and the ROs?

7. What's a story you would love to see turned into an if?

8. What would be your biggest piece of advice for a beginner writer and what did you wish you knew before you started?

9. If I remember correctly you're working in another story that's a fantasy. Could you perhaps spill some of the tea regarding the characters and premise? I'm super excited 👀

10. How has it been working on these completely different projects?

I try my best not to have any celebrity crushes but I've been so bitchless recently that when I got into Ateez I was immediately floored by San 😭😭 so uh yeah that's the only one rn LMIUSFDHDFI

I usually tend to start the story with plot. Through that, my characters blossom; I usually look for a personality I want to embody, and also a character I haven't seen too often. For example, I haven't really seen any Nepali characters in IF, so I'm making a nepalese RO in Witness in Plain Sight. The ethnicities of my characters are often from the ethnicities of my friends who find they don't have any characters they can relate to in media, so the appearance of my character is the third/second thing I think about.

I outline first, but I pants through it!

Oh boy... my favorite boy groups are seventeen, ateez & BTOB, and my favorite girl groups are twice, stayc and ive!! I'm also getting into CNBLUE right now. My fav soloist is Sunmi.

My music taste is a little bit of anything and everything. I love music in different languages (korean, spanish, french, chinese, japanese, urdu, and hindi, lots of bollywood music in general). I think N would like a lot of vocaloid & hyperpop music, while Oli is more interested in alt music, just a lot of music with guitar. Hannie likes classical music, lofi, just anything they can listen to in the background without too many lyrics. When learning a new language, they like to listen to music in that language, too.

I'm kind of experimenting with mine!! If I had a lil more money, I would love to dress fancy and old-timey. (Like the pic, and a bunch of art on pinterest which I can't find the cred for!) I mostly dress in academia, graphic tees and overalls. You can see the ROs outfit types through their posts here: N OLI HANNIE

7. HMMM... okay something that I REALLY want to see is the great historian 'they were just friends'. I want two ladies to fall in love in medieval times. I would also LOVE something like melvina's therapy, a bunch of short stories that tie into eachother! 8. Definitely do your research!! Reach out to other authors, and create a network of people you can rely on! Not only will it be great for when you decide to go through with your project, but you'll have a community that can help you, inspire you, and that you can talk to when you have difficulty!! For any writers and developers, you can always come to me!! Whether it's an ask, a private message, a discord dm or an email, you can always count on me if you need some help :-) 9. I don't wanna give away too much, but I'll give away a little! Yk how much I love killing off parents in IFs... this IF is an adaptation of the first novel I ever wrote!! It's about magic weilding pirates, set in the Victorian Times! I know it sounds goofy so I'm gonna leave it right there IUDHFSIUDSF 10. A nightmare. I love all of them, don't get me wrong, but I'm a colossal dumbass. I'm really happy I get to do what I love, tho, and I love being able to write!!! I get to do whatever I imagine, and tbh it's the best feeling ever!!

[stomp-that-ho-regard]

I'm really not sure why anyone's surprised Im/odna wasn't The BeauJes Apology(TM) people were hoping for. Anything remotely resembling an apology would be an admission of the fuck-up and the cast has proven they're incapable of doing that. And Marisha is incapable of acting like an adult about queer characters.

Even if it does take a turn for the romantic, to harken back to another anon you got, there's no reason to trust them with it. Even a couple years after the fact, the BeauJes fiasco has only proven that they're all-too happy to throw a character-dynamic away the moment it's inconvenient to some unrelated 3rd party (whether they're at the table or not), no matter how good or fun it is.

and really, ships like im/odna or beaujes would do just fine in any fandom where the creators don't show such disdain for people who don't worship the canon, and said disdain gets carried into the fandom. Where you have an entire subset who have no qualms about going into the tags of a ship they don't like just to bully people. I've moved onto other fandoms that basic bit of fandom-etiquette is so much less common in so many other communities. They say "don't bully people" and their sycophants take it as "don't bully us :)))" (something something don't forget to love each other repeatedly gets turned into a blunt weapon to shut down criticism) cuz they've always actively mocked anyone who criticizes them, or doesn't uncritically eat up whatever story-beat they add, no matter how lazy it is. No wonder fanfic writers are made into a joke whenever they're mentioned: fanfic can and sometimes does challenge the canon of a given story.

“Marisha is incapable of acting like an adult about queer characters.” This very succinctly sums it up.

Though I will say, early on (from the confession and forward, pre-hiatus), she did a good job. There were tons of fans that identified with the way she was playing Beau in that moment; how scary it is to admit you have feelings for a (presumed straight) friend, having to keep that to yourself, the little bit of yearning mixed with anguish that comes with it, and how you wanna distance yourself but then if you do, your friend is gonna be really sad. (Like in ep88)

I genuinely think that she did actually play those aspects of it very well.

And I guess that’s also part of the disappointment over why Beaujester fell away and we got stuck with BY. Around the time of the confession, Beau had been growing as a person. She was less juvenile, more articulate, and in a sense, more genuine than she used to be. Of course she still had her goofy moments but it felt like she was maturing. Then post-hiatus reared it ugly head and she was back to acting like a horny teenager. It was like everybody reverted back to their original selves, devoid of growth. The shallowness was back, the one-liners were back, the “That’s hot.” “You’re so hot.” “Let’s make-out.” shit was back. That was all she had to contribute. It was ridiculous, bland, and try-hard.

Where the fuck did all the maturity go?

Pre-hiatus Beau and post-hiatus Beau really do feel like two different people.

I like that you said ‘worship the canon’. And, you’re right. I also think ships like Beaujester and Im/odna would be allowed to thrive in a fandom that didn’t worship canon. Problem is, I personally don’t know of any fandom that didn’t/doesn’t worship canon. Maybe Ag/ent Carter would be the only exception. But I think that’s only because it didn’t exist long enough for the fandom to devolve into a toxic space. The show was cancelled a few episodes into its second season lol

Other than that, every other fandom experience I’ve had (both on here and on twitter) has been pretty fucking horrendous. And it is mostly because of canon worship and just general shipper entitlement. (Mainly m/f shipper entitlement.)

I won’t go into that here though. I’ve already started writing up something about this and it’s gonna be very long. It needs to be its own post.

[powerbottomeminem]

2, 4 and 13!!

2. what's your top 3 Eminem songs?

Three is a seriously too small a number 😖 I will have to go by album. And that’s still too fucking few.

"Rock Bottom" from the Slim Shady LP is a classic. Lying out his struggles in such a precise manner and in words I can’t help but feel compassion for. And catchy, too.

"Kim" from The Marshall Mathers LP is definitely one of my favorites. Full of raw emotion, heartbreak and his inability to cope with life. The story telling and detail is stunning, still rhyming and hitting the beat while everything sounds like a casual conversation. Impressive! It’s hard to listen to, which to me highlights the pain he is going through.

"Cleaning Out My Closet" from The Eminem Show was the first song of his I loved dearly. Didn’t own any of his music yet when the single hit MTV, didn’t know who he was or what Hip Hop is and didn’t understand a word he was saying. But I understood the feeling of a family broken and that spoke to me.

Sorry, Encore, I don’t like you that much.

"Stay Wide Awake" from Relapse is a great feat in writing skills, rhyme schemes and narrative structure are clearly artistically formed and yet it still sounds conversational. Also, I love his horrocore rap. Relapse is one of my favorite albums.

"Space Bound" from Recovery I adore, mostly because of the sound. I’m a sucker for his love songs and this one has a cool vibe in all senses of the word.

"Berzerk" from MMLP2 is the only goofy single of his I actually love. I can’t help but move my body to it, and believe me I definitely don’t dance.

"Walk On Water" from Revival. Mostly because I feel with his artistic soul, being torn between the expectations of others and what would be successful, but on the other hand having your own artistic vision you want to realize. I’m but a mere unread fanfic writer who gave up on becoming a "real author", mostly because I don’t want to fight over whether my artistic vision is "trendy" enough. I also like how slow the song is.

"Nice Guy" from Kamikaze has a great sound stage. Contentwise it’s the same old sick love song, but with Jessie Reyez's voice it becomes all fresh and gains a new intensity his heartbroken songs have lost over the years.

"Farewell" from MTBMB has my fanfic head spinning every time I hear it. So much heartbreak to write to this song and the chorus just makes me wanna sing my soul out.

4. favorite Eminem lyric?

😭 Impossible! Only one? You have to be kidding me! Away, heathen, shoo!

I wanna be the best who ever did it Don't know if that goal is feasible, or it isn't But if it is then God, if you're listenin' Please grant me the strength to crush all competition You can't blame me for dreaming, I'm a dreamer And if I'm coming off brash, please forgive me But, that's all I want

from “Our House” by Slaughterhouse featuring Eminem and Skylar Grey.

His strive as an artist and his focus on improving himself is inspiring to me. As a writer I don’t only want to tell a story but also have it mean something. I’m always challenging myself to stretch my skillset, even in a work like LiE that was only meant for fun and daydreaming I still end up trying to writer better today than I wrote yesterday.

13. favorite performance? (for either)

First of all: I don’t care for concerts whatsoever. I don’t go to them and I don’t watch them.

My favorite performance by Eminem has to be his performance with Jay-Z of "Renegade" live at the Letterman Show.

Funfact: The performance being on a rooftop surrounded by all the skyscrapers is an inspiration for the beginning of an (unfinished) ghoul fic, that is constructed around the Gangsta. opening song "Renegade" by Stereo Dive Foundation. The story has absolutely nothing to do with neither Eminem nor Gangsta., I just put music in every of my stories.

As far as MGK goes, I honestly haven’t seen many performances by him. But the first thing I checked him out with was his performance with Youngblood for the Late Late Show. I found that very gripping and emotional and it convinced me to check the rest of his discography out.

[khtrinityftw]

Honest KH2 Critique

I wanna talk about Kingdom Hearts II since we're quickly approaching it's 15th anniversary. Ever since it was released, it's become a game that people irritatingly refuse to be moderate over, or at least when it comes to the vocal fans online. People who love it don't love it so much as worship it, while people who hate it don't hate it so much as despise it with every fiber of their being. I may technically fall into the "love" category (I share the majority fan and critic view that KH2, especially it's Final Mix edition, is the best game in the series), but I'm also willing to look at both its good and its bad, and do so in moderation rather than hyperbolically.

And I know, without a doubt - Kingdom Hearts II...has the absolute worst-written story out of the KH Trinity!

OK, that was said hyperbolically, but I did so as a joke!

It's so weird that the original Kingdom Hearts and Chain of Memories have narratives that are deeply and thoughtfully structured with such care and consistency, and then the trilogy is rounded out by such a messily-written rollercoaster of quality!

.....Well, all right, maybe not that weird.

When interviewed shortly after KH2's first public reveal at the 2003 Tokyo Game Show, this is how Tetsuya Nomura described the process for writing the game's story: "I'm writing the plot, the main story of Sora and co. Other people are in charge of the plots for the events that will happen in each Disney world. Combining that with Nojima, we're completing one scenario."

The "other people" in question are the Event team: Masaru Oka, Ryo Tsurumaki, Michio Matsuura, Atsuko Ishikura, Yukari Ishida, and Kumiko Takahashi. Daisuke Watanabe and Harunori Sakemi also assisted Nojima with scenario writing whenever the need arose.

The problem that this process caused isn't apparent at first glance, but it's actually right there in that interview excerpt: "I'm writing the plot". In KH and CoM, Nomura only wrote the initial plot outlines, which were very simple and ripe for being fleshed out by the actual scenario writer. There's a big difference between that and writing a full-fledged plot the way he did here. 

Nomura wrote the story for what transpires in the KH-original worlds: Twilight Town, Hollow Bastion, the World That Never Was and Destiny Islands. It goes like this:

As far as plots go, I actually really like this one. It's a strong plot.

It's also convoluted as Hell.

I made a post saying the three one-word convoluted elements of KH2's plot are "Nobodies", "Data", and "Ansem". All three of those are literally the cornerstones of this plot that Nomura cooked up: they play a huge role through the beginning, middle and end! Because Nomura had more power with making this game, none of the more...out-there stuff that these concepts created could be curbed or removed. Which means that the scenario writer had better be in tune with Nomura when it comes to presenting them in a coherent way.

For the most part, Kazushige Nojima was....not.

Here is a tell-tale sign that Nomura and Nojima were not in sync. When asked if he planned from the start to make Kingdom Hearts be the heart-shaped moon seen on the cover of the original game, Nomura replied "No, I didn't. I asked Nojima-san to write the scenario and in his scenario it was written that the Kingdom Hearts Xemnas created is 'like a moon that floats in the World that Never Was'. When I read that, I thought ‘’Oh, this can be connected!’’"

Nomura just admitted that Nojima essentially had to make up how to convey Xemnas harnessing and trying to complete Kingdom Hearts, because Nomura's plot did nothing to convey it. It was a "wait, how the fuck is he doing that!?" detail. And you really get the sense all throughout the scenario that Nojima is struggling with trying to convey Nomura's stuff, and he has said as much in interviews: Nomura's plot and concepts confused him.

It also doesn't help that Nojima was the least major scenario writer on the original KH, mainly limited to the co-creation of Ansem with Nomura and writing the entire End of the World section. This is probably why Xemnas and Ansem the Wise are clearly the KH-original characters with the most confidence and complexity behind their writing in KH2's scenario. Nojima writes Sora, Kairi, their Nobodies Roxas and Namine, and Riku far more simplistically and trope-y, and the other Organization members and trio of Hayner, Pence and Olette are side characters so naturally they don't get much depth. 

Then there's Masaru Oka and his Event Team. First off, while Masaru Oka is definitely on Nomura's wavelength and understands his vision to a fault, as Event Director he is superbly mediocre at presenting that vision, or Nojima's for that matter. He just isn't cinematically inclined the way Jun Akiyama was in the original KH, and that leads to the event scenes usually being the barest minimum of adequate at best, and laughably awkward at worst.

Secondly, Oka and his team were responsible for creating the plots in the Disney worlds (hence Oka's credit alongside Nomura under "Base Story"). But not only were they frequently lazy and just directly rehashed the movie's story but with Sora, Donald, Goofy and the Heartless shoved in, but half of the time they didn't even bother connecting the world plots to Nomura's main plot in any meaningful way beyond thematically ala CoM, and neither Nomura nor Nojima seemed keen on correcting this even when they really should have.

Here is a chart displaying the game's flow, stage by stage as set by world battle level. Stages where the main plot is progressed in some way are bolded, and stages of the main plot as created by Nomura have red borders around them:

Aside from Space Paranoids which was part of Nomura's plot from the get-go, the only time where correlation with the main plot occurs without any side factor to note is Beast's Castle, where both visits feature the machinations of Organization member Xaldin and culminates in the boss battle against him that leads to his demise.

Olympus Coliseum correlates to the main plot in the first visit but not the second, although the second visit is now made plot-relevant due to tying up loose ends from the first. Port Royal correlates to the main plot in the second visit but not the first, although the first visit is now made plot-relevant due to setting the stage for the second (it also has Larxene's Absent Silhouette in FM). There is technically a main plot correlation in the second visits to the Land of Dragons and Agrabah (the latter of which has Vexen's Absent Silhouette in FM), but Nojima botched the writing of them to the point where there may as well not have been, especially in the case of Agrabah’s which is "oh btw, an Organization XIII member came by off-screen".

And then there's the case of Disney Castle / Timeless River, which only acquires relevance to the main plot because it was decided that Maleficent should be resurrected and be Pete's boss in the present time. And unlike her appearance in Halloween Town, her role in this stage correlates directly to her role in the main story, revealing her resurrection to the heroes and establishing that she seeks a new evil stronghold from which to advance her return to power. Pete's backstory and connection to King Mickey shown here also receives a direct reference toward the climax of the World That Never Was.

While it could be argued that there's additional value in the first visits to Port Royal, Agrabah, Halloween Town and Pride Land due to the presence of Pete (Maleficent when it comes to Halloween Town), I would have to disagree because nothing they actually do in these stages end up mattering to the main story whatsoever - especially in Pride Land, where Pete just shows up in lion form to say “Ooga Booga Booga!”. Their presence alone just ain't enough.

The consequence here is that for the continuous stretch of Port Royal in the first go-round, Olympus Coliseum in the second, and Agrabah, Halloween Town and Pride Land in both go-rounds, it feels like nothing is advancing. And as bad as that sounds on paper, it's even worse when applied to gameplay because it means this lasts for several hours straight! The only main plot event that happens in either cycles is Kairi going to Twilight Town, which happens in a sudden cutscene between Agrabah and Halloween Town and is thus totally out of the player's control!

To sum things up, Nomura wrote a main plot that was good but too overwrought with confusing and complicated details. Nojima is a highly talented writer, but he didn't fully get Nomura's vision. Oka gets Nomura's vision, but he isn't a highly talented Event Director (and as seen in later games, he has even less talent as a writer) and often portrayed scenes that Nomura or Nojima came up with flatly. And none of these men were in sync when it came to how the Disney world plots and the main plot would connect, often simply not caring or else just not trying hard enough.

That is why KH2 has the weakest writing in the KH Trinity: the primary creative voices that shaped the story were completely out of sync with one another on a regular basis. You could say that their hearts just didn't connect on this project. And as a result, we have blatant inconsistences, bad edit jobs, pacing problems, mood whiplashes, missed opportunities, and dumbass moments galore.

However, on the occasions where things between them did manage to sync up, we were given some of the highest points in not only the KH Trinity but the entire KH series, and the input that was given from Daisuke Watanabe, Harunori Sakemi, and others like production assistant (and major Disney fanatic) Eri Morimoto surely helped the messy story become not quite as big a mess as it could have been otherwise. And that story still stayed true to the series' roots as a whimsical Disney/FF crossover project driven by relatable characters and emotional resonance, as opposed to a vanity project for Nomura that is driven by perplexing lore, plot twists and mystery boxes.

And that's why I and so many others love KH2, warts and all, and would gladly take dozens more narrative messes just like it over the different, far less enjoyable kinds of narrative messes that we've been getting afterward.

[somedayonbroadway]

Romona

Boy Meets World Masterlist

“Albie? Honey, you have to come out eventually,” JoJo insisted, standing just beyond the door to Albert’s bathroom.

Race was leaning against the wall beside her, a smirk on his face as he knew nothing good would stem from this. Albert was a good writer and a good journalist, but this story was bound to be something else.

“Don’t wanna! Second thoughts!” Albert shot back.

His best friend snorted.

JoJo glared at him. “Come on, babe, we won’t laugh,” she promised.

“You’re not seein’ what I’m seein’!” Albert sounded upset. But Race could only laugh.

JoJo gestured for him to say something. So he pushed himself from the wall and sighed, knocking on the door. “Come on, buddy, you’re gonna write an article that means somethin’!” he encouraged, trying his best to be light even though he knew something was bound to go wrong. “You’re gonna make a difference in the lives of guys n’ girls everywhere!”

“You’re not seein’ what I’m seein’!”

Rolling his eyes, Race tried again. “Come on, Al. How bad a girl can you be?”

Finally, the door clicked open. And Albert walked out. Race tried his best to keep a straight face, but the ridiculousness of his best friend outweighed the blond boy’s want to spare his feelings.

Albert was dressed in a short, purple button up dress that was about two sizes too small for him, a stuffed bra and a pair of big, white high heels. His red wig barely covered his head and the red nail polish he wore was sloppy and uncalculated as was the bright red lipstick he wore. Race couldn’t help but laugh.

JoJo was covering her lips, hiding her own amused smile.

“How bad?” Albert asked.

“Bad, bad,” Race stated, looking the other boy up and down.

“I knew it…” Albert shifted on his feet, looking down and taking an insecure breath. “I… I look fat…” he said, clearly upset.

Still, all Race could do was laugh. “Fat is the least a’ your problems, babe.”

Glaring at his best friend, Albert turned to his girl. “Jo?” he asked, gesturing to his wig and makeup.

His girl crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged, trying not to be quite as mean about it. “Maybe it’s just not a good color for you?” She didn’t know what else she could say. If she was being honest, it was a little funny.

Looking between the two most important people in his life, Albert shifted uncomfortably before trying to go back and hide in the bathroom.

But his girl and his best friend grabbed his arms. “No no no, come on, baby, you can do this,” JoJo encouraged turning the boy back around. “It’s just all about how you present yourself!” She brushed her perfect curls behind her, gesturing out to the room. “Go on, Albie, present yourself.”

With a big breath, the boy faked a smile and tried to walk like he thought any normal girl would.

Race had to bite his lip to keep from bursting out with laughter.

When Albert returned to them, he looked at both of them. “Was that alright?”

Straight faced and straight toned, all Race could reply was, “Not even on a desert Island.” JoJo glared at him again so Race sighed. “Look, Al, you're missin’ the obvious! Girls glide more n’ that. They’re more at ease. Ya gotta let it flow,” he instructed, trying his best to help, knowing that this article was important.

He knew it was important.

“That’s pretty on the nose, Racer,” JoJo replied with a mischievous glint in her eye. “Why don’t you uh… show Albert how it’s done.”

Never one to back from a challenge, Race scoffed and walked across the room daintily. It was subtle and calm and just right. But when he got back, he saw the look in their eyes. “What?” All they had to do was smile at him before he was shaking his head. “Oh no… no no no no no no no…”

—

Race poked his head out and looked around the corner of their usual hallway, clad up in a blond wig and a perfectly well done makeup job, courtesy of one miss Josephine Jorgette De La Guerra. Bangs fell down in his face and curls fell around his neck. It was irritating.

His best friend pushed him out into the hallway with ease. Race gaped back at him, reaching to adjust the pencil skirt that JoJo insisted he wear. It was scary how well it fit him.

He could practically feel the eyes on him. “Why are they all lookin’ at me?” he hissed at his best friend who wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Tony, I don’t want ya ta take this the wrong way, but… you’re kind of a babe,” he admitted.

Race smiled and shrugged shyly. “Really?”

“Yeah…” Albert laughed. “Ya want me ta carry your books for you?”

“I get that?! Yeah!” the other boy replied eagerly, handing his friend his books that didn’t fit in the purse that JoJo said most girls used instead of backpacks because it looked more feminine.

Together they walked to their lockers, Race almost tripping. The boots he wore covered most of his legs, only cutting off towards the knee. The black tights did the rest. “Why are you carrying his books?” JoJo asked, turning from her locker.

“Well, we’re tryin’ ta create the illusion that Racer’s a girl… I thought this would help,” Albert explained.

Crossing her arms over her chest, JoJo looked up at him. “You never offer ta carry my books…” Albert stuttered before turning and handing Race’s books back to him, not answering his girlfriend. So JoJo just shook her head, focusing her attention on her best friend. “So, Tony, how does it feel ta be wearin’ tights?”

“Not Tony,” the boy corrected.

“Oh, he’s right. He needs a girl’s name.” JoJo turned to Albert for help.

The redhead nodded. “Okay, this is easy… how about Janet?”

Race shook his head. “No no no, not Janet,” he stuttered out, a bit shy and self conscious still. He shouldn’t be walking around like this. He didn’t want anyone to figure it out.

“What possible difference could it make—?”

“Hey, Albie!” JoJo cut him off, studying her friend. A smile spread on her face. “You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?” she asked the boy.

Race slowly shrugged, not meeting his friend’s eyes. “A little…”

“And what name have you thought about?”

The blond paused, looking around, already afraid of being judged. “Um… R-Ramona…” he responded.

JoJo grinned. “I love it.” She elbowed Albert in the guy before he could say anything else, knowing Race was already insecure.

Just as Race might’ve said more, a couple of teachers came rounding the corner from the cafeteria. Kloppman at the head of them, talking with Jacobs and Jack walking with Plumber behind them.

Three of them walked past without a word.

“Mornin’, guys,” Jack greeted with a smile, caught up in whatever conversation he was having with his girlfriend.

Race ducked his head down with a smile.

Jack went to keep going, but paused after what he’d seen registered in his mind. He froze in his stride, taking in a deep sigh and biting his lip before turning to Katherine. “Excuse me, Love?” She just nodded, squeezing his hand before continuing on down the hall, catching up with David. Then he spun back around and walked back over to the child he knew so well. Race didn’t look up at him, thinking maybe he’d leave. But Jack just stayed, shoving his hands in his pockets and offering the kid a tight smile. “Ya know… Racer… if ya need ta talk about anythin’, ya know where ta find me,” he tried, almost joking, not quite sure what to say.

Race managed a smile. “It’s for an article, Jack. It’s just for an article…” he insisted.

“Hey, hey, I ain’t here ta judge, dollface,” Jack countered, unsure of what else he could say. He could hear Albert laughing at the nickname. Race was clearly embarrassed. “Just… just know that I’m here, alright?”

“It’s just for an article!” Race hissed again.

Jack put up his hands in surrender. “Okay, sweetheart… Whateva’ you say.” With a playful punch at Race’s chin, the man was off down the hall.

Race rolled his eyes, turning back to his friends and seeing them snickering behind him.

But something else caught Albert’s attention. “Okay, okay! Target approaching,” he whispered. Race looked up to see Gerard walking down the stairs.

JoJo caught his attention. “Hey! Gerard, Dev said you two went out on Saturday,” she said, trying to make conversation.

Gerard walked to her, but his gaze trailed over to Racer who shyly averted his gaze to the ground. “Uh… yeah… we did… hey,” he greeted, clearly not interesting in a conversation and clearly more interested in letting his eyes linger over Race’s body. Race did not appreciate it. “I’m Gerard…”

“Gerard, this is Ramona,” Albert introduced immediately, a big goofy grin on his face.

“Ramona…” the taller, much bigger boy repeated. “I’ve never seen you around here. Are you new in school?”

Race forced himself to smile and nod. “Yeah… yeah, it’s like I’m a whole new person,” he replied. He didn’t have to change his voice much, knowing it was already slightly high pitched. But he spoke quietly, trying to hide the nerves.

This all felt slightly familiar.

“Well, uh… listen… if you want, I could take you to Jacobi’s and tell you what teachers to avoid… that kind of thing…”

Race glanced back at his friends. JoJo seemed to sense his anxiety but Albert just kept on grinning, nodding his head. “Um… yeah… yeah, that sounds nice…”

“Well… I’ll see you then…”

With that the boy walked away. And Race turned back to his friends. Albert wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Way ta go, Racer!” he grinned. “Ya got the date!”

But Race still looked uncomfortable. “What is it?” JoJo asked.

Race just shook his head. “I… I got nothin’ ta wear…” he replied, turning back to his locker.

Albert snorted.

But Race bit his lip as he dug around in his locker.

He could do this.

—

“I can’t walk home like this…”

“Oh c’mon, Race, ya look fantastic!” Albert joked, sitting on his own bed with his arms wrapped around his girl.

“Al, I’m serious!” Race yelled, getting a little more worked up than he should’ve. “I need an extra set of clothes!”

“Alright! Alright!” Albert laughed, standing to his feet and searching for some clothes that his friend could wear. He wanted to get the makeup off of his face. He wanted to get a pair of pants back on and then he wanted to crawl in a whole and never be heard from again.

Albert handed him some sweats and pinched his cheek before going back to sit with JoJo.

Race tried to smile at them as he went back into Albert’s bathroom to change.

He ripped the wig off of his head the second the door was shut and let it fall to the ground as tears filled up in his eyes. He turned the sink on and cupped his hands under the faucet splashing the water on his face. When he looked up, the makeup was still there, only starting to run down his face.

That’s when he began to scrub at his face a bit more violently, holding back the sobs by swallowing hard. He didn’t dare look at himself again until he was sure it was all off. His eyes stung a bit as some mascara surely ran down into them. He looked up to find his own face again. He ripped the dress he wore off of him.

He was supposed to be happy. They’d gotten a good article.

But he never wanted to talk to another guy ever again.

He just wanted to hide somewhere for a while.

He didn’t want to go home.

But he didn’t have a choice.

He never had a choice.

[btssavedmylifeblr]

Hi bee, i hope you're doing wellI just wanna ask for some tips bc I can't seem to do the "show don't tell" thing when writing. I have no idea why, it's weirdly difficult. Any websites or good examples about it? I'm kinda disappointed in myself. Thank u for being so kind! Much love to you

Ah yes, the classic advice that everyone says but is very hard to actually define. As a beginning writer, I always found this especially confusing because all writing is “telling” in the sense that you are telling a story. You only have words. It’s also a very hard thing to find clear examples of because “telling” might only be a sentence or two but good “showing” might take a whole scene, a whole chapter or a whole novel to do right. It’s something that takes practice and, unlike rules of grammar, can’t be fixed overnight. 

I don’t always get it right (and “right” gets pretty subjective with this topic), but as an exercise, let’s compare the first scene I ever wrote to the opening scene of Void. 

Excerpt One: Opening Scene of If You’re Struggling

(Disclaimer: I am so embarrassed by this cringey-ness. There is a reason I deleted it from Tumblr. Please don’t judge me too harshly. Writing is a learning process)

To illustrate the point (and because Tumblr’s formatting options suck) I’ve put a strikethrough on all the parts I would consider “telling” instead of “showing”.

“Have a great first day, honey!” Your boyfriend gives you a quick kiss as you grab your coffee and head out the door for your first day at your new job. You’ve been eagerly awaiting this day for several weeks now, since your successful interview with BigHit Entertainment. Up until now, you’ve been working as a makeup artist on a spec basis here in Seoul, but this is going to be your first full-time job as a makeup artist and stylist.

At the BigHit offices, you are welcomed in by the head stylist whom you met at your interview and she shows you around the offices.

“Ok, we need to get to the dressing room” she says, clapping her hands. “The boys are recording their dance practice today, and we need to do their makeup beforehand.”

Your heart beats a little faster when you realize you’re about to meet BTS. A month ago you had never heard of them, but since getting this job two weeks ago, you’ve been a bit obsessed - listening to their music non-stop as you do housework, watching all of their music videos over and over, seeking out all of their Bangtan bombs and television appearances. When your boyfriend caught you watching the “Boy in Luv” video for about the 30th time on your laptop, he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed your cheek.

“Do I need to be worried about you spending so much time with these boys?” He teased.

You turned your head and kissed him reassuringly on the lips. “No!” you giggled in mock offense “look at them, they’re just kids!”

You enter the dressing room and are pointed to a makeup chair in front of a mirror. You set about cleaning up your station and setting up your kit before the boys arrive. You hear the boys coming before you see them -  shouting and laughing down the hallway before they get to the door. You are still setting up your station when the door clangs open and they burst into the room.

You turn around to find a tall, older blond boy already sitting in your chair. He gives you a smile and shakes your hand. “Hi. I’m Namjoon. You must be the new stylist.” He introduces himself as the leader and offers to help you get to know the other members. “Watch out for the younger ones, they like to play jokes on each other and everyone else.”

After Namjoon, you meet Jin. He is polite and spends most of his time in the chair filling you in on his recommendations for the other members “Be sure you get underneath Yoongi’s eyes, he was up late last night”, “Don’t go too dark on Jungkook’s lip color”, and so on. When you’re finished, he smiles gratefully at you and stands up to go.

Hoseok comes running over and throws his arm around Jin’s shoulders. “Jin’s make-up is easy since he’s so handsome already, right noona?”  he teases Jin.

“Yes, precisely.” Jin replies, not embarrassed at all, but gives you a smile before heading off to hair.

Hoseok is the easiest to talk to out of all of the boys. He peppers you with questions as you do his makeup, all about where you’re from and where you’ve worked before. Before you know it, you’ve told him all about your life, including how you moved from South Korea to the US when you were six for your dad’s work and moved back when you were sixteen. “Oh wow!” He says excitedly. “We can all practice our English with you!”

While you are talking, a loud commotion comes from the back of the room as Jimin and Taehyung are playing Rock, Paper, Scissors and shouting about something.

“What’s going on?” You ask Hoseok and he smiles, a little embarrassed.

“They’re having a disagreement about who gets to sit in your chair next…” He replies. You just blush and look away.

While the younger boys are distracted with their battle, Yoongi plops down into your chair. He introduces himself with a nod and puts in headphones.  About halfway through applying his makeup, you realize that he has fallen asleep. You look over at Namjoon, “What do I do now? Should I wake him up?” You ask.

Namjoon just chuckles, “You can keep going, he’ll just sleep through it.” When you’re finished, you gently wake him back up and point him in the direction of the hairstylist. He grumbles appreciatively and stumbles off.

Jimin has apparently won the game and comes rushing over to fill the vacant chair. “Hi. I’m Jimin.” He flashes you a devilish grin, then adds “You know… you are a lot younger and cuter than our last stylist…”

You’re a bit flustered, but Namjoon saves you. “Jimin, you can’t talk to our stylist like that!” He smacks Jimin gently upside the head and suddenly Jimin is just an adorable kid again.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry” he says and you get to work on his makeup.

Taehyung watches you doing Jimin’s makeup, making goofy faces in the mirror when your back is turned, trying to get Jimin to laugh and mess up all your hard work. He slides in when Jimin is done. He spends most of his time in the chair shouting across the room to Jimin, who is now having his hair done. You keep having to gently remind him to sit still.

The maknae is last. “Hi, I’m Jungkook.” He quietly introduces himself. He is really shy and barely says anything else to you as you do his makeup, but you can tell he is trying really hard to stay perfectly still, despite several attempts from the older members to distract him.

Once all of the boys are ready, their manager comes and rounds them up and you hear them running back down the hall to the dance studio laughing and joking. You breathe a sigh of relief and can’t fight back the smile that spreads across your face.

The first few weeks of working at BigHit are fantastic. The boys continue to warm up to you as you get to know them better. Namjoon loves talking with you in English, especially really quickly so his bandmates can’t follow what he’s saying. Of course, you can’t always follow what he’s saying either, but he is so thoughtful and full of ideas. Yoongi still often falls asleep, but he also now comes in with music recommendations for you and hands you the other ear of his headphones while you do his makeup. Hoseok continues to be your favorite, telling you all about his childhood, the audition and debut process, and filling you in on the latest gossip. Jimin and V continue to cause trouble, but are so adorable when they do that you can never stay mad at them. And Jungkook continues to be quiet and sit perfectly still in the makeup chair. He is so chatty with his bandmates that you are a little sad he isn’t more comfortable with you, but it does make his makeup easier to do than Taehyung’s.

Thoughts:

So there a lot of things here like it being her first day of work, her being nervous, and the mannerisms of the boys that would have been much better if I had showed them through dialogue, description, and physical mannerisms rather than telling them outright. It would have done a lot better job of placing the reader in the scene and would read as a bit less cringey. The last paragraph in this scene is particular egregious because instead of allowing the reader to see those relationships build over time and really invest us in those characters, I just summarize in one paragraph. 

As a result, we get to the end of this scene and we know a lot of facts, but we don’t really have any good sense of who this character is or why we should care about her or empathize with her. 

Excerpt Two: Opening Scene of Void

(Disclaimer: This is also not perfect, but it is much improved from the previous)

“Can you see them?”

You blink your eyes as you stare into the microscope, squinting against the bright light. You’ve been staring into this scope for two hours, searching for tiny signs of life.

“Maybe?” you reply. Your colleague leans in closer, close enough to smell his shampoo. Your eyes begin to water as you scour the field of view, checking each fleck of dirt for your prize. But again, you came up empty. “No, I don’t think so.”

You lean back in your chair, closing your eyes and rubbing them to relieve the strain. You didn't get much sleep last night. But you can’t bring yourself to complain to Hoseok.

He groans, standing up and twisting side to side. Your back aches in sympathy from bending over these finicky slides all morning. “We’re going to run out of samples.” The corners of his mouth pull down into a frown.

“We’ll run out of kerosene first,” you mutter. You look back through the lens one last time, hoping you missed something.  

“They should have sent us with more.” Your fellow science officer stands up and walks over to chemical storage.

“Yeah, because large amounts of volatile organic liquids are a great thing to have on spacecraft." No one else on this ship would appreciate your joke. It’s not a good joke. But Hoseok humors you and gives you a small chuckle.

“Should we try an acid?” he suggests, as he examines the inside of the storage cabinet.

“Acetic?” He nods and scratches his chest as he fishes out the necessary bottle. He walks the acid back to your lab station and sets it down on the counter next to you.

He sighs and puts his hands on his hips, resuming his twisting back and forth. He clasps his hands together and does a long slow stretch upwards. Your eye catches on the sliver of exposed skin popping into view as his shirt rides up.

His smooth skin stretches across well-defined muscles, distracting your serious scientific mind. You lick your lips as you imagine how warm he would feel under your palm. You stare at the gap between his navel and the top of his pants. Not for the first time, you find yourself wondering what his skin tastes like.

“We should dilute it.” His shirt falls back down, breaking the spell. You look away, shaking your head, embarassed by your own lacivious thoughts. You’re a professional. A highly educated astronaut and scientist. You have a PhD, for god’s sake. Focus on the mission at hand.

“Yeah, we should.” You nod in confimation before standing up to get some glassware. “What concentration?”

As you turn around to reach the water tap, Hoseok moves to reach the tablet behind you. Your small lab is so narrow that you end up colliding with him. You bounce backwards off his body, cradling your beaker of water, headed straight back toward all of your ship’s glassware. You panic. Visions of shattering thousands of dollars of lab supplies fly through your head. But Hoseok catches you before you stumble into the cabinetry. You breathe a sigh of relief when you realize he’s got you in his arms.

“Fuck.” You smile. “Sorry, Hoseok.”

“It’s okay.” He laughs, shaking his head. “My fault.” His hands linger on you as you both chuckle. You feel the heat of his touch seeping through your jumpsuit.

Despite living in such tight quarters, it’s rare that you’re ever this close to him. You try to avoid physical contact with the crew out of self-preservation.

He smells good. Hoseok always smells good. While your ship smells mechanical and sterile, the man holding you smells warm and human. It’s comforting, but in a way that makes you ache with how you long to bury yourself in him.

Your colleague lets go of you and steps backwards, coughing into his shirt sleeve. He picks up the tablet and scrolls through your research materials. The warmth of his hands begins to fade from your shoulders. He finds the correct dilution factor and reads it out to you.

You measure out the appropriate amounts of acid mixing it with water. Hoseok retrieves another fragment of the meteoroid that you’re scouring for microorganisms. When he returns, you cover the sample with the acid, stopper the flask and set it to oscillate for a hour.

“Nothing to do now but wait.” You sit down on your stool and drum on your thighs. The idea of being alone with Hoseok for another hour fills you with nervous energy. It's a relief when he excuses himself to the bathroom.

It didn’t used to be this hard. When you started this mission two years ago, you had no problem being alone with any of your crew members. You were professionals doing a job together, and there wasn’t time or energy for idle sexual tension. But as the mission drags on, you have begun to feel more and more on edge. And it’s not only Hoseok. You are finding it harder and harder to be alone with any of the crew. When you spend all night fantasizing about someone, normal conversation becomes difficult.  

You stare at the flask rocking back and forth on the counter and let your mind wander. You replay your previous clumsy moment.  You imagine Hoseok catching you in his arms again, but this time you grab him and kiss him. You smell him and taste him and surround yourself in him. You close your eyes and follow the fantasy further. You imagine dropping to your knees and sucking him off up against the glassware cabinet. You imagine the way the lab equipment would clink as he bent you over the lab counter.

Hoseok returns, brandishing his tablet. “I got the new article from Geology on microfossils, if you want to take a look.” You sigh and nod.

Thoughts: So there is definitely some telling happening in this scene too. Telling is not always the worst thing in the world, although I wrote this scene nearly two years ago, so if I could go back and edit some of this out now I would. But what I want to point out here is how much information I convey without ever having to explicitly spell it out: we’re on a spaceship, the OC is a scientist with a crush on her colleague, she is touch-starved, they are searching for fossils, etc. And I think it does a much better job than the previous example at drawing the reader into the scene. 

___

In general, here some good pointers for moving more in the showing direction:

1. Focus as much as you can on the present moment. What is your character thinking right now? What are they feeling? What information are they getting from their senses?

2. Use dialogue. Dialogue is a great way to show relationships between characters and fill in backstory without long paragraphs of just “telling” your readers stuff. Just be careful that it sounds like real dialogue and not exposition masquerading as dialogue. No one tells anyone their whole life story the first time they meet them or repeats information that the other person would obviously know. 

3. Trust your readers to fill in the gaps. Readers are very good at picking up context clues. You don’t need to spell everything out for them. If you put them in the scene and describe the world around them well, they will figure out lots of things just from context.

Hope that helps! The only real solution is to play around with it and practice and see what you like. Good luck!

[spnfanficpond]

January 2020 Pond LiveChat Recap - Writing RPF

We had a great time chatting with Taylor,  @impalaimagining​! Thank you so much for joining us and sharing your thoughts and experience!

Our topic this month was Writing RPF, and we talked about the legal, moral, and emotional aspects of writing about real people.  A rundown of the chat, as well as general Pond news, is below the cut!

We started off the chat with the legal side of things, most of which was covered back when we talked about Monetizing Fan Works back in May. Here are the related links that were brought up:

Wikipedia: Legal issues with fan fiction (The section dealing with RPF is near the bottom under Right of Publicity.) Boiled down, RPF has to deal with a celebrity's Right of Publicity. Famous people have the right to control the commercial use of their name, image, and likeness, sometimes even their broader identity or persona. Most states’ laws on this only apply to uses for commercial gain. So, don't try to get paid directly for RPF, and you're safe.

From NPR: We Stan: Real Person Fan Fiction Comes To Life. This is a fascinating discussion about RPF, the legalities, and how it’s been changing in recent years. This argues that basically since “fiction” is right there in the name, RPF is inherently more legal than regular fan fiction based off of characters. No one is trying to say that the real people involved are actually doing these things, it’s just fiction.

Goodreads Genre: Fan Fiction - Real Person Fiction. When I was researching, this link came up, and I clicked it, not knowing what to expect. Finding that Fan fiction, much less RPF is on Goodreads was surprising to me. (I thought Goodreads was only about books that could be purchased and didn’t touch “unpublished” works, but I guess not?) What I found most interesting was exactly how many of the titles listed on that page are J2-related. There are more J2-related titles than all of the others COMBINED. As a fandom, we rock!

The discussion started with most folks saying they hadn’t considered the legalities of fan fiction, or RPF in particular, when they began writing. Their first concern was just getting the story out of their head and onto the paper. Also, since no one was getting paid for it and it’s so popular, no one questioned the legalities. Also, since it’s fiction, there’s no defamation of character.

@mrswhozeewhatsis​ (Michelle): Most people know that I generally don’t read RPF, unless it’s an AU. Way way way back, when I first started reading fan fiction, I used to read the occasional RPF. Honestly, before SPN, I never really liked an actor enough to want to know more about them. (I've been burned by some jerk actors in the past.) One of the first RPFs I ever read was from Jared's POV, and it contained a scene where he was on stage at a con, and detailed his thoughts. I forget what the inciting incident was, but suddenly he was thinking, "Great, now they're all thinking about how big my dick is," and it made him spiral. Something about that stuck with me, to the point that I cringe every time I see Jared on stage and anything remotely sexual comes up. That's pretty much what stopped me from reading RPF. I have no problem thinking about how big Sam's dick is, but I can't ponder too much about Jared's dick, or I can't look him in the eye when I see him at cons!!!

Taylor: I definitely think there is a very fine line to be walked when you write RPF, and I generally don't cross into the area of writing from an actor's POV.

Q: Is that how you keep it separate so you don’t stare into their faces at a con during a photo op and think about the smut you wrote about them?

Taylor: It can be hard to keep it separate sometimes but it's actually very easy in the moment of a split second photo op. They move so quickly, I don't genuinely think I have ever had the time to consider the things I've written about them while I was talking to and hugging them!

Q: Anyone else who doesn’t read/write RPF, do you think that the whole not being able to look them in the eye is an internal thing for anyone in your life, or just celebs? 

@manawhaat​ (Mana): For example, I have A. FUCKING. LOT. of sex dreams. With tons of people, celebs and people I know in my real life... and I don't want to say that it's jaded me as far as thinking sexual thoughts about people, but in a way it kind of has. I don't have that moral dilemma of not being able to look Jared in the eye after thinking about his dick.  Taylor: I completely agree. I think writing it has made me kind of impervious to it bleeding into my daily life. I see Jared and my heart goes ohmygodwelovehim first and in person, then later when he's not around is when the wowowowbutwhatabouthisdick comes in. Michelle: I don’t think I could write about anyone in a smutty way. Just characters.

Q: I wanted to talk about 'characterization' of rpf. Do other rpf writers out there think of the people as characters and treat them that way, or do you humanize them? Idk if that question makes sense but it's along the same lines of keeping them separate. 

@fogsrollingin​ (Alex): I cast them in other stories when it's rpf. I always write rpf AUs with only a couple exceptions. We know their onscreen mannerisms, so making them astronauts terraforming a new planet with evil aliens on it is like "oh easy". Taylor: Characterization is huge for me. If someone writes an actor outside of the way they portray themselves, it's impossible for me to read. While we don't know these people personally, we know how they act outwardly and in the public eye, and that's enough to get a good idea of the kind of person they would be.  Michelle: I have no trouble reading AUs, because it's just another character who happens to look like and have the name of one of my favorite actors. In AUs, they're characters. If they are actors on a show called Supernatural, then it's too humanizing for me. Taylor: See, Michelle, my mind can't separate it to that degree. If I'm reading about someone named Jared who looks like our Jared? It's Jared. AUs give me a lot of trouble, to be honest.  Both writing and reading. Alex: I feel like it's no different than if Jared did a scifi movie during his summer break from spn & it's so low budget they just kept his real name for his character name.

Q: Do you feel differently reading ship RPF than reader insert RPF?

Michelle: Most of the RPF stories I read are ships, but I do read some reader inserts, too. It’s not an intentional choice either way. Alex: I don't feel differently about it, rly. I know I prefer reading ships over reader insert but that's just my personal jam. Mana: I have a hard time reading ship rpf mainly because I like the versions of my ships that I've built in my head, so when someone deviates from that it is a little turn off for me. Like, your version of Cockles is not the same as my version, which is totally fine, you do you, but it isn't gonna tickle me the same way ya know. so when I get into like non-mainstream ships it's extra difficult to find writers who represent them in the 'right' ways. Taylor: I feel that way about pretty much everything I read, and I think that has a lot to do with the whole characterization piece of it. I know that my idea of and the way I portray Jared or Jensen is probably a million times different than the way other people, including my readers, think of them. I try really hard to make sure the way the actors come across is "right". Mana: I think the one big piece of characterization is kind of using the way they have presented themselves as a moral compass. Obviously they don't present their whole selves so there's always wiggle room and areas where you are free to project your ideas of them into the fic, but that's also the trickiest area and where so many people drop the ball.  Taylor: YES. So, so many people take that wiggle room and take it leaps and bounds beyond what is public (fandom) knowledge. 

Q: How do you feel about RPFs that support certain theories about the wives being beards and such?

Mana: I try to not write anything that would feel as if I'm slandering anyone, etc. I wouldn't want to write a Jensen x reader fic where Danneel cheats on him and that's how they get together. If I mention it at all I just say that they've peacefully and amicably parted ways. If I don't mention it then they simply don't exist in the timeline. But never anything negative about anyone, especially the wives.  @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish​ (Kaisha): I don't write smut (only read) so I have a very different interpretation on a lot of the things being discussed. I tend to stick with non-AU, sister/daughter!reader insert RPF fics because I don't feel creative enough branch out beyond that. I feel the same as Mana, and I actually won't read fics that are based on the premise that someone cheated for the storyline to work. Alex: I'm okay if ppl deviate far into fantasy realms tho. As long as it's not too support a real life conspiracy theory about the actors, if ppl wanna write it & others like it, all the more power to them. I mean as long as you're like "I killed the wives during the zombie apocalypse in my fic but I love them in real life please don't kill me" I'm like "cool". Taylor: I avoid bashing fics or beard fics. Admittedly I have one where Jensen and Danneel never got married, but they still had a daughter together and Danneel hid the kid from him until her 5th birthday. That doesn't feel like a bash/slander fic to me because I'm not painting anyone as a bad person - things just played out differently. 

Q: The person who suggested this topic mentioned “how to write your first RPF.” Any suggestions?

Michelle: Have Mana finish it for you! (The only one I’ve ever written, she had to finish for me!) Alex: My first rpf was a ballerina!Jared & yogi!Misha romcom. It was so goofy! Taylor: I don't know if I can even answer that question. It literally just poured out of me when I started. I took the tiny little idea I had in my head (my daydream, as it was previously and so aptly named), and put it into words and it ended up being a 10 part series. Mana: How to write your first rpf: READ RPF FROM A LOT OF DIFFERENT WRITERS. find what works for you and for the people you're writing about. do a couple of trial runs with shorter fics. you have room to play, but try not to stray too far from what they've presented themselves as in real life. Kaisha: For me, when I wrote my first RPF (which was also my first fic), I was in a mental place where I was watching a lot of con videos and reading a lot of sister/daughter fics. It was more "I need an outlet for how I am feeling right now and I don't have anyone to talk to"...so I talked to the image of the boys I had made in my head from what I saw of them online.

Q: Does character shipping affect the RPFs you read? Like, if your OTP is Destiel, do you mainly only read Cockles?

Kaisha: I will read almost anything that's related to one of the Js, either RPF or SPN. But I don't have strong ship feels one way or another that changes what I read/write for RPF. Taylor: I don't know if character ships have any kind of effect on RPF ships. Because there are a lot more people involved in cons than we see on the show, and cons are my primary source of RPF inspiration. Like, we see Henry, what, twice in the show? But Gil McKinney is a whole other story. He's all over the convention circuit (or at least he used to be) and also all over fandom twitter. It just feels easier for me to write RPF because I see these actors in my real life, interacting with other real people. I have interacted with them, which makes things feel a lot more real than writing about two hot fictional dudes from my TV screen. Alex: I'm definitely up for Sam/Dean as much as I'm up for J2. Oddly tho it's Mishalecki at real life con panels that's gotten me totally happy to write/read Mishalecki.

Q: (From Taylor) The piece of RPF I struggle with the most is bringing events from the actors' real lives into my stories. Writing about Jensen and the brewery, about their kids and stories they tell about them at cons, that's where my already grey area turns even more grey. 

Kaisha: I am right there with you Taylor! My fic started as mostly the reader and JJ interacting and then I remember the twins existed, too. And with my new fic I am trying to figure out if the San Jac and FBBC will work in or not. Mana: I'm interested in this, because I don't seem to have that issue or gray area. It just doesn't exist for me and I'd like to hear more about it from you guys. Taylor: It's so hard haha. I have something coming up that deals with Jared being arrested and of course I didn't post it before that whole event went down so now it looks like I'm taking that part of his life and twisting it for my personal fiction needs. Which feels kinda (adult word for "not good").  Kaisha: For me the gray area thing is because I want to write a believable story. A believable story has realistic details and if I am ignoring or overlooking things that my audience knows to be true, I feel it takes them out of the story. Mana: So it's a case of omit it entirely or commit to it entirely? I ask in regards to like FBBC and the kids. Do you feel differently about incorporating those aspects into your fics? would you be more comfortable writing about fbbc than you would the kids? Or does that gray area cover the same on both? Kaisha: The same thing goes for when I beta read something. A detail that I don't remember or agree with will take me out of the story and send me on a research rabbit trail to know if the author is correct with what they said. I want to stay in the story as much as possible and I want that for my readers too. That's probably a good way to differentiate it. If I state in the A/N that J1 only has 1 kid, then I don't have to consider what year the story is occurring in. But if I tell you it's non-AU, well then everything that is happening in our universe should be happening in my story (otherwise, it would be AU, even to the slightest degree). The kids vs. FBBC thing I think could be very personal on which someone feels more comfortable with. I say that because I know ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING about alcohol. Kids on the other hand I get. Taylor: For me it's the same. Just, actual concrete aspects of Jensen's life are harder for me to write about. Because then - again, just for me - that feels like writing from their point of view, which is something I try to avoid.

Q: Do any of you read/write RPF outside of SPN?

Taylor: SPN is my only fandom. Michelle: I tried to read fics from other fandoms, and just couldn’t get into it. I might be getting sucked into The Witcher fandom, though. Haven’t found any Geralt fics that really align with my image of him, though. Alex: There are CW network RPF AUs I read. Taylor: I feel like, as SPN fans, we have a wonderful privilege and incredible pool of writers to choose from when we want to read. I don't know, because like I said SPN is my only fandom, if any other fandom has this level of talent or dedication.

Q: Have you ever read an RPF fic that changed the way you viewed an actor? Or given you a sense of gained insight into their lives?

Michelle: That's actually why I don't read “canon-compliant” RPF, actually. Because then I might think that idea is real, and won't see that it's not, even when proven wrong. Like, maybe Jared actually loves it when we think about how big his dick is? But I can't stop thinking that it embarrasses him and makes him uncomfortable because I read it in that one fic. Kaisha: @crashdevlin​  has a Jensen x reader series that also heavily features Tom Hiddleston. My view of Tom has forever been changed because of her story!  Michelle: My brain is very malleable. Sometimes, I'm so open-minded, my brain falls right out. I have to be careful what I let influence me. Kaisha: It wasn't something that I intended to happen. Crash just wrote a very compelling character and I think my opinion would have been altered no matter who it was that she used as the face. Taylor: I've never read anything that has changed the way I view the actors. I've certainly read things that have given me new ideas about the things they enjoy (bitey and/or rough smut), but nothing that's changed the way they appear in my mind. I think the biggest part of all of this is just remembering that all of this is 100% FICTION and should never be taken as reality in any way, shape, or form.

To close out the chat, Mana requested fic recs! Here are the recs that were mentioned:

Michelle: If you're into serial killer AUs, There's a J2 AU in my AO3 bookmarks that's genius. Adoration. The other RPF bookmark I have is called Beholder. Jared runs an animal shelter, and Jensen is a homeless man with a TBI who gets dumped at the shelter one night.

Alex: My favorite rpf fic is Tails by keep_waking_up. Werefox!Jared & kitsune!Jensen law enforcement murder mystery AU.

Taylor: One of my favorites to read is by @thecleverdame​: Modern Technology. (Jared x reader) This is unfinished but it's quickly becoming one of my favorite Jensen-things I've ever written, AND IT'S AN AU!!! Rockabye. Also, there’s You Saved Me (Jared x Reader). And have a J2 x Reader for funsies! Something is Happening

Kaisha: This is my favorite RPF. Underneath verse (series) - J2 -  Jensen is the undercover FBI agent sent to take out Jared, the boss of Chicago. #Self-promo, but I am pretty proud of this one, too: Nanny, Sister, Daughter...Family (Jenneel with sorta daughter!reader)

Mana: Here’s the Cockles x Reader fic that Michelle and I wrote: Rumor Has It And, of course, (Jenneel x Reader) Fools In Love.

Feel free to reblog with your favorite RPF fics!!

Also, the February LiveChat info is still TBD. Feel free to send in your topic ideas and suggest guest speakers!!

General Pond Updates and Reminders

What we’ve got cooking up next: Not much, at the moment, since everyone is busy, so we’re just trying to keep up with the day-to-day at the moment! Our to do list is still long, though, and will not be neglected forever! Next up is organizing the tagging system on the blog to make it easier for readers to find the stories they’re interesting in and for writers to find the help they’re looking for!

Reminders:

Angel Fish Award nominations are accepted all month long! No need to wait to tell us how much you liked a fellow Fish’s work!  IF YOU HAVE SENT IN A NOMINATION, BUT HAVE NOT RECEIVED A PRIVATE MESSAGE CONFIRMING WE RECEIVED IT, WE DIDN’T GET IT. Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

Say hi to December’s New Members and January’s New Members! (If we missed someone, let us know!)

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the Skype chat room/discord general channel and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

We’re getting lots of requests for more Big Fish, lately, but so far, only one applicant! If you know someone you think would be a good Big Fish, tell them to apply!!

[casual-eumetazoa]

mmmmmmmmmmmkay... gotta say Words about the episode, I guess

things I liked:

the show looks good, I’ll give them that - visually/aesthetically very pleasing, the music is amazing (I still miss Gold but I am starting to like this new guy a lot), everything seems modern, expensive, high quality

the theme music is wonderful and the title sequence slaps; love that shit! feels classic and brand new at the same time, and very Doctor Who; probably my favorite title sequence combo of the entire new run

the TARDIS design is gorgeous, like I cannot stress enough how much I love it; again, probably my favorite of the entire new run, and definitely top three of all that were ever made; it feels like a hybrid between Tenth’s TARDIS and Eighth’s TARDIS - bold, creative, beautiful design; on a related note, loved that “fixing the TARDIS” bit; I hope the fam will spend more time inside the TARDIS this season

the actors are giving their best; I feel like C was a huge waste of Stephen Fry, but perhaps it was a deliberate decision (because maybe Mr Fry wanted a cameo but did not have time for more scenes); 

Whittaker is good - idk if that was a move on her part or the writers/directors decision, but her Doctor feels calmer, more natural now; she is still quirky and mysterious and herself, but she feels more like a person, you know, and not a bunch of facial expressions and voice inflections thrown together

the companions are good too - Yaz is finally getting attention, and God, Graham and Ryan are like my favorite thing now! their dynamic is just a pleasure to watch; you can make a ‘comedic duo’ compilation just out of this episode alone

the new monsters are definitely my cup of tea; strange, spooky, not full on horror movie scary but still threatening... *chef’s kiss* I loved the twist of them getting through the TARDIS door - that has never happened before, I like that; I like how the Doctor quietly freaks out about it as well, cause she hates not knowing something and hates not being in charge; that scene where she keeps asking the creature and when it finally replies it is just mocking her? good shit right there; wanna see more of these guys for sure

and after some reflection, if you take it in isolation, I do love the final airplane scene; like if I just look at it as a piece of TV/storytelling, I think it is a really good scene; it’s loud, it’s chaotic, yes it is kind of all over the place but it is engaging, and the reveal was out of nowhere and predictable at the same time but I still enjoyed it; and yes it is a stupid cliffhanger but like... it’s Doctor Who! it has always had stupid cliffhangers and I for one respect that decision

things I didn’t like:

oh God... the writing; like I am sorry, okay, but that writing is bad; and it is so confusing to me cause the story overall was good in my opinion - the pace was okay, the events made sense, it has an actual plot, etc - but the writing is still bad? I think the dialogue is the worst by far, but the way the scenes were stitched together is really awkward as well; it feels like it has been written by a talented but severely inexperienced writer who understands more or less how a story is supposed to work but has no idea how to edit

specifically what annoys me is that the dialogue and, to a lesser degree, the sequence of events feels very superficial and forced; it’s not elegant, and it’s not surprising, and it doesn’t feel natural at all; the actors are giving their best but how the hell can you have a good delivery of those lines??? 

I wanna rewatch it already to give particular examples but the two things that come to mind are C explaining the whole deal with the aliens (telling instead of showing anyone? especially after you’ve already shown it???) and the interview with Lenny Henry’s character (again, telling instead of showing much?); and idk, the dialogue in general is just... eh, it annoys me that I can’t quite put my finger on why it is so bad - but it is so bad, that initially that thing alone made me dislike the episode 

and this is double annoying because I know that Chibnall is a good writer and can write excellent dialogue and put scenes together with no problem, and also because, traditionally, Doctor Who has always had great script editors that should have fixed this; like how do you give a dedication to Terrance Dicks and not fix these awkward fucking lines?? I am confusion

things I am unsure about:

the whole spy thing; initially was very excited about it, because I thought we would get a very Third Doctor era thing, but no, that was just a straight up James Bond knock-off; like, don’t get me wrong, Thirteen in a suit gives me life too - but they could, idk, Doctor-fy the whole thing a little bit? throw in some gaffs and alien words and the Doctor going “oh I was a spy so many times”; instead it felt kinda, idk, not integrated enough; like it made sense for the story, but not for the show overall

also I think that the episode had too much action; that car malfunction at the beginning? entirely unnecessary, could have replaced it with a conversation (Thirteen trying to get info out of the driver for example) and get better results; the motorbike chase? looks very cool, also unnecessary and could have been cut to twenty seconds easily; like, come on, this is Doctor Who! I want good dialogue, not Marvel-level action scenes

and now the most controversial thing... the Master; ufff, I have very complex thoughts about this

I’m not gonna lie, I do like that they are back; I think it was too early to bring them back, and it feels like a solely “for the views” decision with little to no creative thought put into it, but damn I love the character; the actor is great too - that being in disguise with no physical disguise bit? love it! like, in retrospect I can see how much he (the Master) must have enjoyed playing the sweet innocent bloke; and that switch in the final scene... that’s some good acting right there

I am kinda conflicted about his style in general, like I would have preferred for him to lean more on the Delgado side of things - more gravitas, calmness, but still with strong chaotic dumbass energy - but I do understand that the Master has to mirror and contrast the Doctor simultaneously, and this sort of more Simm-like delivery (more in the direction of bananas) works better for Thirteen, especially now that she is less awkward and more calm and collected; I like the homage to classics as well, like that tissue compressor thing, that was really good; and yeah the Master is hot again... nice

also the whole “the Doctor is still being secretive about her past” thing is really working for me - I’d love to see the Master slowly destroying whatever image she has built for herself and thus creating enough conflict between her and the fam to go on for the entire season

but having said all that, if we come back to the decision to bring them back... is Chibnall sure about that? because from what we have seen so far, it feels like we have cancelled out everything that Moffat has done with Missy; we’ve had such an amazing character arc with her in Capaldi’s era and now it’s all gone? now we’re back to blowing up planes and killing the Doctor? why? 

I am still holding on to hope that this is an earlier, pre-War incarnation of the Master that somehow slipped in to this timestream, but that seems unlikely; another way I could digest that was if the Master has lost their memory and doesn’t remember being Missy, which would make for a nice eventual reveal of the memories coming back to them and him being like “oh shit” - but if Missy’s entire character arc has been retconned, I am definitely not a fan

also, overall, I feel like Chibnall retconned one thing about the Capaldi era that I really loved - he brought Doctor Who from a proper serious drama (as one part of the show, obviously) to all cheesy, goofy, silly sci-fi nonsense; and like, has Doctor Who been cheesy in the past? definitely, and for most of its history, and I won’t complain about that; but this? this feels too cheesy, especially in contrast with Capaldi’s era; like please, Chibbers, can we please see some drama? if you’re going for the whole quality TV show feel, can we also get proper good dialogue and heightened emotion and higher stakes? cause I think you can overdose on ridiculous in Doctor Who

summary:

honestly if the writing - especially the dialogue - was actually good, this would have been a very good episode, an 9 out of 10 at least; but as it stands, those lines are spoiling it a bit too much for me, so I’ll give it a solid 6 out of 10

I know it is a part one of a two-parter so I won’t make any solid and final judgments yet, especially about the Master and the feel of the series overall; all I can say is that, again, if you ignore the dialogue (which I hope is a random fluke and will go away), this sets a benchmark for series 12 higher than series 11; so I am cautiously optimistic about it, and actually excited to see the next episode, but God do I have high standards now, having consumed a lot of Doctor Who media...

and now that I’ve said approximately 563 highly controversial things, feel free to rip me to shreds I guess - or agree with me, who knows

[ringa-starr]

What You Mean to Me Ch 9

A/N: Hey all you lovely people! Ok so I have a bit of good news and bad news for you guys. The bad news is, I start my college classes again on Monday so I won’t have as much time for writing like I have been. Plus, I’ll be working at the college I go to so I’ll be pretty busy.

The good news is this is my last semester which means I will be graduating in December! Then I plan on taking the rest of the year off and going to the University of Georgia as soon as I can next year to study film so I can become a director!

I’m sorry you all had to wait a while for this chapter. At first writer’s block got to me and then, as soon as I almost finished the chapter, the cable people turned our internet off because we didn’t pay the bill.

But enough of my rambling. I really hope this chapter was worth the wait! You guys are just too too awesome and I love you for it!

Stay excellent, breathtaking, and be excellent to each other.

Love you guys!

-Deidra

In River’s car, Emily was sitting in the backseat next to her brother texting Bill:

Emily slipped her phone back in her pocket just as Murray pulled the car to a stop in front of Ted’s house.

The car barely got to a stop when Barry unbuckled his seat belt and opened the passenger side door.

“Time for me to give that little bastard a piece of my mind”, he growled, clutching the knife handle tight.

“Wait a minute you guys- “Emily started but she knew it was no use as she watched Deidra’s dad ring the doorbell.

The only hope she had left was that Ted’s father, a police officer, would step in and help her.

A few moments later, Ted’s dad came to the door.

“Hi”, he said, folding his arms across his chest. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah…yeah you can help us!” Murray snapped.

“You can tell us where your bastard of a son is- “

“Whoa, whoa, whoa”, Mr. Logan interrupted. “I think you need to watch what you say about my kids. In this house, they’re both innocent until proven guilty.”

Mr. Logan paused, thinking about his words.

“Except maybe Ted”, he considered slowly. “That boy’s almost always doing something.”

“Well, did he mention he got my teenage daughter pregnant?” Murray asked.

Mr. Logan’s eyes went wide as he turned his head to look over his shoulder.

“TED!” he called up the stairs with anger in his voice. “GET DOWN HERE!”

A minute later, the sound of Ted’s footsteps could be heard before he hurried down the stairs, stopping dead in his tracks at the sight of all the angry faces in front of him.

~~

Meanwhile upstairs, Ted’s little brother Deacon was in his room, talking on the phone with one of his friends.

The little boy’s eyes went slightly wide at the sound of his dad’s angry voice, cutting into a conversation the boys were having about trading cards, but Deacon didn’t seem to care as a smirk spread across his face.

“Hold on a sec, dude”, Deacon said to his friend. “My brother’s done something again and it sounds huge this time! I’ve never heard my dad this mad before!”

Deacon held the phone to his chest as he carefully eased himself out of his bedroom and into the hallway, peeking into the living room over the stair railing.

“What’s up, Dad?” Ted asked his father, a goofy grin on his face although he was a nervous wreck on the inside.

“You know damn well what’s up!” Barry yelled angrily. “You got my twin sister pregnant!!”

The look of anger Mr. Logan had on his face remained there as he made eye contact with his oldest son.

“Ted is this true?” he asked, in a firm yet demanding voice.

Ted knew this was no time to mess with his dad’s head like he always did.

Besides, he thought, why would I lie? I feel bad enough.

“Yes”, Ted answered quietly, not making eye contact with anyone. “Yeah it’s true, dad.”

“Why you little…BASTARD!” Murray screamed out in utter rage, starting to lunge at Ted.

Murray was followed by River and Barry not too far behind but the three were held back by Emily and Mr. Logan.

Eyes wide, Deacon covered his free mouth with his hand, yelling of all kinds being heard from downstairs as the little boy quickly and quietly made his way back to his bedroom.

“Wait!” came Ted’s nervous voice from downstairs, the sound faint through Deacon’s closed bedroom door. “Don’t I get to tell my side of the story?”

“Your side of the story!?” Murray demanded. “What kind of side do you have to tell?!”

Deacon couldn’t understand much more of what was said due to the sound of different voices yelling over each other.

“Dude!” Deacon gasped into the phone. “You’re not gonna believe this!”

~~

“Whoa!” Deacon’s friend Peter gasped, eyes growing wide. “No way!”

From out in the hall, Peter’s older sister Stephanie had just come out the bathroom after a shower with only a towel wrapped around her slim body and hair, heading towards her bedroom when she heard a bit of her little brother’s conversation.

“Your brother got a girl pregnant?!” Peter repeated.

That immediately sparked Stephanie’s interest, causing her to carefully press her ear against the large Toy Story poster on her little brother’s bedroom door.

Stephanie was best friends with Tiffany, the most popular girl at San Dimas High thus making Stephanie ‘Vice President’ of the school according to her clique of friends.

This meant that anything Stephanie said was to be considered law if given approval by Tiffany.

Stephanie loved being in her best friend’s good graces and she knew this little piece of information would make her ecstatic.

Keeping that bit of information in mind, Stephanie listened to the rest of her brother’s conversation, smiling widely as soon as he hung up the phone.

Peter was sitting on his carpeted bedroom floor when Stephanie opened his bedroom door, now dressed in one of her pajama sets with a sweet smile on her face.

“Hey, Petey”, she said, her voice as sweet as honey. “Whatcha doin’?”

“Watching the Super Mario Brothers Super Show”, Peter replied, not taking his eyes off his small tv.

Stephanie nodded her head and sat down on the edge of her brother’s bed.

“Cool”, she replied, although she couldn’t care less about what her little brother was doing.

Stephanie folded one of her legs over the other, waiting for the show her brother was watching to go to commercial before saying “So Petey...who was that on the phone, sweetie?”

“Deacon”, Peter replied, turning around so he was looking at his sister.

The name perked Stephanie’s interest even more, the smile on her face getting bigger.

“Deacon?” she asked. “Deacon Logan?”

Peter nodded his head, a cute smile on his face.

“Yeah”, he answered. “Why?”

“He has an older brother named Ted, right?” Stephanie asked, feeling like a snake in the grass.

Peter’s smile faded a little, suspicion rushing over him.

“Y-Yes”, the boy said slowly.

Stephanie leaned back a little, trying to control her excitement.

“And did Deacon say Ted got a girl pregnant?” Stephanie asked, her excited smile now a normal frown.

Peter furrowed his eyebrows a little, sensing even more that something strange was going on.

“Hey”, the little boy said slowly, “why do you wanna know anyway? And besides, I don’t think Deacon would want me to tell you.”

Stephanie grinned as she slowly stood up and crossed her arms behind her back, slowly pacing her brother’s room.

She knew how to get him to talk.

“Ohhhkay”, the teenage girl said slowly, looking up at the ceiling then back at Peter’s determined look, his arms folded across his chest, and his lips formed in a cute little pout. “I guess I’ll just have to give that…big, delicious bag of red licorice I have in the kitchen to someone else.”

At the word ‘licorice’, Peter’s eyes grew wide, a big smile forming on his face.

“Licorice?” Peter asked, eyes shining as he started to drool just thinking of his favorite candy.

“Mmhmm”, Stephanie hummed, eyes narrowed. “One of those giant Halloween sized bags.”

She leaned down until she her face was near her little brother’s.

“All for you, sweetheart”, Stephanie cooed, kissing Peter’s cheek before leaning back up again.

“IF!” the teenage girl added so suddenly Peter jumped out of his skin. “You tell me the name of the girl Ted Logan got pregnant.”

Sweat started forming on Peter’s forehead as he clasped his hands together, unsure of what to do.

He loved licorice a lot, but he didn’t want to break his best friend’s trust either.

Stephanie narrowed her eyes and smirked, watching as her little brother squirmed in his seat, listening as whimpering noises came from him.

“Well, while you’re deciding”, she told him, “I’ll be right back.”

Stephanie giggled to herself as she walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, grabbing the extra-large bag of red licorice from the cabinet.

Opening it as she climbed the stairs again, Stephanie mischievously laughed as she took a piece of licorice out of the bag, putting an end of it in her mouth.

She had Peter right where she wanted him.

~~

Peter forgot all about the Super Mario Brothers Super Show the second he layed eyes on the big bag of licorice Stephanie had in her hands when she came back in his room.

His sister couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of how big her brother’s eyes were getting as he stuck his tongue out like an excited puppy dog.

“Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie!” Peter cried excitedly as he scrambled to his feet.

“Ah-ah-ah”, Stephanie tisked as she held the bag out of Peter’s reach, her eyes narrowed again as she lowered her face to his. “The information first then the candy.”

“Oh….oohhhh!” Peter whined, looking back and forth between his sister and the bag of candy.

Finally, Peter couldn’t take it anymore.

“Her name’s Deidra Goldberg!” he exclaimed; eyes now solely focused on the candy.

A sinister smirk on her lips, Stephanie dropped the bag where she stood before picking up the phone from her brother’s floor.

“Pleasure doing business with you, squirt”, Stephanie told her little brother from the doorway of his bedroom.

“Ooh this is gonna be sweet!” she mumbled mischievously to herself as she went back to her room, punching in Tiffany’s phone number.

“Not as sweet as this licorice”, Peter said after he dumped the whole bag on his floor, scooping some of it up in his arms.

“It’s mine!” Peter cried mischievously as well, laughing to himself. “Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine!”

~~

Back at the Logan’s, Deacon was back watching the madness downstairs from the upstairs hall, gripping the stair rails in his hands as he enjoyed the sight before him.

The madness in the living room was only stopped at a halt when the knife Barry was holding slashed across Mr. Logan’s arm, the police officer preventing his son from being stabbed in the chest.

Everyone froze in their place as they watched Mr. Logan grit his teeth together to keep from screaming out in pain before grabbing Barry’s wrists and jerking them behind his back, slamming the teenager onto the floor.

“H-Hey!” Murray cried. “What do you think you’re doing to my son!?”

Everyone in the room’s eyes went as big as plates at the sight of the San Dimas police badge Mr. Logan quickly pulled out from the belt of his jeans, knowing their reign of terror on Ted was over.

It was so quiet in that house you could hear a pen drop.

Mr. Logan then pulled out a pair of shiny handcuffs from the very back of his jeans.

“You’re under arrest for the assaulting a police officer!” Mr. Logan cried as he snapped the handcuffs on Barry’s wrists, before pulling the teenager to his feet. “Anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law…”

Mr. Logan continued reading Barry his rights as he led him outside where his officer car sat in the driveway, everyone else following him.

“This is ridiculous!” Murray cried as he watched his son get placed in the back of the cop car. “He was only defending his sister-“

“But he also assaulted an officer of the law”, Mr. Logan pointed out to Deidra’s father quickly, trying to keep his cool.

His voice still sounding firm with a touch of anger.

“Yeah!” Ted cried happily, a wide smile on his face. “You tell him Dad!”

Mr. Logan snapped his head up at his son as quick as lightning, a look of fury on his face.

“I’ll deal with you later!” Ted’s father told him lividly. “What in the hell were you thinking, Ted?!”

Ted’s cheery smile faded into a nervous frown as he played with his hands.

“I don’t know, Dad!” he admitted. “She-“

He paused slightly.

“She told me she loved me”, Ted continued quietly, “a-and I guess it just happened.”

“Lov- “Mr. Logan cut himself off as he turned away from his son, taking a deep breath. “Son, you’re seventeen years old! You don’t know what love is!”

“Instead of teaching him what love is”, Murray retorted. “You need to teach him how to keep his thing in his pants!”

River, Adam, and Emily’s eyes went as big as plates, their mouths forming a small ‘o’ shape and eyebrows raised at Deidra’s dad’s remark.

“Well, maybe you outta keep that little whore of yours on a leash!” Mr. Logan snapped back.

“Dad!” Ted exclaimed angrily, feeling his blood boil.

Murray felt his own blood boiling, his heart pounding in his chest, teeth gritted so tight in anger he thought they would break.

Sure, he might have called Deidra a whore earlier, but he regretted it the second the word left his lips.

Now someone else was doing it?!

Murray ran towards the officer, wrapping his hands tightly around Mr. Logan’s throat, both men falling to the ground.

Mr. Logan struggled against the bigger man’s hold, struggling to retrieve something out of his belt holder.

Finally, Ted’s father found was he was looking for, using pepper spray in Murray’s eyes, causing the man to cry out in pain and release his hold.

Still crying out in pain, Murray rolled around on the grass, both hands covering his burnt eyes until he felt someone jerk his wrists behind his back one at a time before yanking him to his feet.

Mr. Goldberg barely knew what was happening his eyes were burning so bad as Mr. Logan read him his rights before shoving him in his police car beside Barry.

Mr. Logan opened the driver’s side door and started to get in, only to stop and give Ted a look.

“You and I are gonna talk when I get back”, he informed his older son before getting in the driver’s seat and heading down the driveway.

Once Mr. Logan’s patrol car had been out of sight for a few moments, Ted ran a hand through his hair and let out a loud sigh, no one knowing what to do or say.

Finally, River turned and looked at his sister. “Why don’t you take Adam home?” he suggested. “I’m going to stay for a little bit and talk to Ted.”

Emily smiled, glad to see her brother had calmed down a little and was now using his head.

River smiled back as his little sister gave him a hug before kissing his cheek and leading Adam to River’s car.

When his sister was gone, River led Ted in the house, Ted sitting on the couch with a hand to his forehead.

“Hey, you mind if I get some water or something?” River asked as he walked into the kitchen.

“Go ahead, Dude”, Ted replied. “In fact, could you bring me some too…and some Advil?”

River nodded, getting two glasses out of the cabinet.

River walked back in the living room a few minutes later, handing Ted a glass of water and a couple Advil’s before sitting down in the lounge chair across from him.

Ted downed the Advil and a couple drinks of his water almost instantly.

“You ok?” River asked as he watched the teen in front of him.

“Dude, do I look okay to you?” Ted snapped, setting his glass on the table between them.

River slightly shrugged.

“I mean, I just got damn near stabbed by the brother of the girl I love, and I don’t even know why!” Ted continued

River’s eyes slowly widened, his anger boiling inside him again.

“You don’t even know why?” River repeated. “You don’t even know why?!”

“Yeah I don’t know!” Ted shot back although he knew exactly why.

River let out a loud, frustrated sigh, facepalming himself before looking back up at Ted.

“Could it be”, River slowly said, trying to control his anger, “that the reason you almost got stabbed is because Deidra told her family you got her pregnant…or the fact that you denied your own child?”

River’s voice got a little louder with each passing word and by now, Ted’s eyes were wide, his face slightly pale.

Breathing heavily, River reached for his glass over water, taking a long drink before putting it back on the table in front of him.

‘Just keep calm’, River thought to himself. ‘Remain calm.’

“Or could it possibly be”, the teen continued as he got to his feet, beginning to pace around Ted’s living room, “that maybe just maybe you rejected everything she confessed to you-“

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” Ted cried out interrupting River, his voice defensive. “Hold on a sec, dude! How do you know what Deidra told me? She could have told me anything for all you know!”

River stopped pacing only long enough to make eye contact with Ted for a moment or two, his big brother instinct over Deidra taking over again.

“I heard Emily on the phone with Deidra earlier tonight”, River informed Ted in a low, frustrated voice. “It’s not like she called me right after she got home.”

“Well”, Ted said after taking a deep sigh, “she could have told Emily anything. I mean-“

“DUDE!” River yelled, fire in his eyes, his heart filled and pounding with fury. “SHE DIDN’T LIE! OKAY? SHE TOLD EMILY EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED!”

River took several shaking deep breaths before sitting down beside Ted on the couch to calm down a little.

“And you know that, don’t you?” River finally asked softly, his voice a bit hoarse from yelling.

Ted said nothing as he looked into River’s blue eyes before hanging his head and nodding.

River sighed again, starting to feel a bit of sympathy for Ted.

He didn’t need words to know that Ted was scared.

“The thing is, Ted”, River said softly as he sat beside the other teen on the couch, running a hand through his hair, “is that Deidra loves and cares about you…and yes, as hard as it is to say, she’s pregnant with your baby.”

Ted slowly looked up and made eye contact with River again.

“She told me she loved me”, Ted admitted in a quiet voice as he thought back to the night of Bill’s party.

He pursed his lips together before continuing.

“But I didn’t say it back.”

River could have sworn he saw tears well up in Ted’s dark brown eyes.

“So instead…we slept together. An-“ Ted quickly wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. “And when she told me she was pregnant…God she looked so scared.”

“When she told me”, he went on. “It was like all of my biggest fears in life rolled into one and just hit me like a ton of bricks.”

He let his tears fall freely now.

“And what did I do?” he cried. “Instead of taking her and holding her, comforting her, t-telling her it’ll be ok and making her feel better-“

Ted cut himself off, rubbing his eyes with his hand.

“I make her feel worse”, he finally continued through his tears. “My fear spoke for me and I-I…”

“I told her things I didn’t mean!” Ted cried out through a sob, his hand shielding his face, head slightly down, and his eyes closed. “I even told her we were nothing when I want us to be something!”

All River could do was sit beside Ted and listen, his handsome face softening with understanding.

Ted slightly jumped when River leaned over and wrapped a comforting arm around his shoulder.

“Go tell her, Ted”, River advised softly, gently rubbing his friend’s shoulder to comfort him. “Tell her how you really feel.”

“I can’t”, Ted said softly in a tearful voice. “She won’t listen to me.”

Ted slowly leaned his pounding head up and made eye contact with River.

As if communicating through eye contact, River slowly shook his head.

“Sorry, man”, he said. “It won’t mean near as much coming from me. You have to be the one to tell her.”

“She probably hates me”, Ted admitted, wiping his eyes with the few tissues River had given him. “She probably wants nothing to do with me.”

“She’s just really hurt right now”, River told him. “Give her time she’ll come around.”

~~

Meanwhile back at the Goldberg’s, Deidra, Beverly, and Lainey were sitting around the living room coffee table playing a game of Clue when the door opened and Adam walked in, getting the girls’ attention.

“Oh, man!” Adam cried, eyes wide and a smile on his face as he walked in the living room and sat down on the couch. “You missed it! It was insane!”

“Where’s your father and Barry?” Beverly asked.

“Is Ted okay?” Deidra asked wanted to know, her stomach feeling uneasy at the thought of something happening to him.

“Yeah, he’s fine”, Adam told her, “but that’s the awesome part! Ok, so-“

“Oh, good!” Deidra sighed, feeling her body relax as she sat back on the throw pillow she was sitting on.

“What about Barry and your dad?” Lainey spoke up.

“I was getting to that”, Adam said, still trying to catch his breath. “So-“

“Adam!” Beverly cried. “Tell us please!”

“Okay, okay!” Adam replied. “Dad and Barry got arrested for assaulting Mr. Logan!”

“What?!” Deidra, Lainey and Beverly cried before scrambling to their feet.

“What do you mean they got arrested?” Beverly asked. “What happened?”

Adam sighed and opened his mouth to explain when Deidra spoke up.

“You guys better get down to the police station”, she said.

Lainey nodded and hurried outside after giving Deidra a quick hug, Beverly doing the same before following Lainey outside, the door shutting behind them.

From inside, Deidra and Adam sat in silence as they listened to Murray’s car start up then pull away from the driveway.

Adam sighed with frustration as he got down on the floor, sitting across from his sister.

“So”, he said, “should I be Mrs. White or Cornel Mustard?”

~~

“I can’t believe Dad and Barry have to stay in jail overnight”, Adam said as he sat in the Gynecologist’s office the next morning with his mother and sister, Beverly flipping through a 5-year-old magazine.

“Well, they did attack a police officer”, Deidra spoke up. “What’d you expect?”

Adam shrugged as more silence filled the room.

Deidra looked up from her lap and saw several other people sitting in the waiting room only the women who were pregnant looked a lot older than her.

She was careful not to make eye contact with anyone as she already got enough looks when she walked in the door.

“I’m scared”, she admitted softly, gripping the armrest of her chair tightly.

Beverly closed the magazine she was reading and took her daughter’s hand, giving her a smile.

“Don’t be, Shmoopy”, she replied quietly. “We’re all here for you.”

“But Dad said he was going to throw me out if-“Deidra started but her mom cut her off.

“You leave your father to me”, Beverly told her, causing a small smile to form on Deidra’s lips. “I’ll talk to him.”

“I love you, Mama”, she told her mother softly, Beverly hugging her.

“I love you too’, Beverly softly said in her ear.

“Deidra Goldberg?” a nurse called from the doorway of the examination area.

Deidra felt her heart pounding again, knowing all eyes were on her as pulled away from her mother’s embrace and stood up.

‘I wish Ted was here’, she thought to herself as she followed the nurse to the back.

~~

Deidra laid back against the bed, the room dark with an ultrasound machine beside her bed.

She had to flinch a little at the bright light from the hallway as a doctor carrying a clipboard walked in the room.

“Hi”, the doctor who looked to be in her mid-20’s greeted Deidra with a kind, warm smile that made the teen feel a little better. “I’m Dr. Green. How are you today, Deidra?”

“Nervous”, Deidra admitted as the doctor sat down on the stool beside the bed.

“Don’t be”, Dr. Green told her softly as she took the teen’s pulse. “Everything’s going to be just fine.”

She released her wrist and started going over her clipboard.

“So, it says here you took a home pregnancy test and it came up positive, is that right?” the doctor asked.

Deidra nodded.

“Yes, ma’am”, she said softly.

Dr. Green gave her another kind smile.

“Well”, she said, “let’s just take a look, shall we? Can you lift your shirt just a little please, sweetie?”

Deidra nodded and lifted her aqua blue tank top slightly to reveal her stomach.

“This might be a little cold”, Dr. Green warned before lightly squirting a mint-blue gel onto the teen’s stomach.

A moment later, the dark room was lit up by the light coming from the ultrasound screen as Dr. Green moved the ultrasound wand over Deidra’s stomach, a loud, fast-paced beating sound filling the room as well.

Dr. Green nodded to herself, her own suspicions confirmed.

“There’s your baby”, Dr. Green told Deidra softly, a small smile spreading over her face as she pointed out a little shape on the screen.

Deidra felt her heart skip at beat as she laid eyes on the little figure on the screen, tears filling her eyes.

“Wow!” she whispered.

As she continued to look at the figure on the screen beside her, Deidra started to feel something she had never felt before…she felt the need to protect this little baby inside her at any cost, her heart filling with a love she had never known before.

“I would say you are 9 weeks along”, the doctor told her as she moved the wand a little more before pressing a couple buttons on the ultrasound machine, breaking into Deidra’s thoughts. “Which would make you two months pregnant.”

At that piece of information, Deidra immediately thought back to where she was a couple months ago.

She thought of how sick she felt and how good Ted’s gentle, loving touch felt to her as well as how it felt when he kissed her after she had confessed her love to him.

He didn’t need to say he loved her back…his kiss said it all.

The thoughts after the kiss were all just blissful blurs as Deidra wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, only for another fresh set of tears to sting her eyes.

~~

It was later that night and the San Dimes Jail’s holding cells were quiet for once.

Well, almost quiet.

“Cut that out, ya moron!” Murray cried out in frustration from the jail cell he was sharing with his oldest son.

Barry opened his eyes and slowly took the harmonica he was playing away from his lips.

“Aw, come on Dad!” the teen said with a goofy smile. “I’ve always wanted to play a harmonica in a jail cell!”

And with that, he started playing again, causing his dad to sigh in frustration.

“Where’d you find that anyway?” Murray asked his son.

“Siting here on this bench”, Barry said with a shrug as if it were obvious.

A look of disgust and bewilderment came over Murray’s face before he slowly scooted away from his son, an awkward silence filling the air.

“Goldberg!” an officer called as he walked up the hallway towards their cell.

At the sound of their last name being called, Murray and Barry jumped to their feet, hurrying towards the holding cell’s bars, griping them in their hands.

“You’re both free to go”, the officer told them as he slid the key to their holding cell into the lock, turning it.

The cell door eased open like a charm, the officer gently pushing it to the right.

“Someone post your bail.”

“Yes!” Barry cried happily, slamming his fists in the air. “Let’s get out of-“

Barry’s smile slowly faded at the sight of his mother walking up the hall.

“Mom?” Barry asked in confusion.

Beverly nodded, giving her husband and son a smile.

Barry gave her a small smile back as he and his dad followed out of the jailhouse in silence.

“So, Mom”, Barry spoke up, breaking the silence. “I-Is she…”

All three of them stopped walking and Beverly looked at her oldest son.

Saying nothing, she reached in her purse and handed him a copy of the ultrasound picture.

For a moment, Barry and Murray said nothing; they just looked at the picture in awe.

“Wow!” Barry finally gasped. “That’s inside of Deidra right now?”

Beverly nodded, tears threatening to fill her eyes again as she thought back to earlier in the day when Deidra had come back out into the waiting room, her face stained with tears.

It was right then that Beverly knew the truth and as much as it broke her heart, the news warmed it all at the same time.

At the sight of a photograph her first grandchild, all of Beverly’s anger and disappointment towards her younger daughter vanished and her motherly instinct began to take an even bigger hold.

After watching Barry hand Beverly the picture back, Murray said nothing as he turned around and started walking down the long, dark hallway of the jail’s holding cell again.

“Murray!” Beverly called in confusion. “Where are you going?”

“Maybe jail’s not so bad!” Murray replied with a smirk before continuing to walk down the hall.

Taglist:

@shhh-no-ones-home @celestiaelisia @derangedcupcake @lindszeppelin @ohportgas @loganharpervo

[thattimdrakeguy]

One of the reasons why I don't like favoritism in official comics is because it distorts characters to put a specific one on a pedestal.

Like how Tynion tried to make Tim so cool that he ended up writing what felt like a total different character. Making him a show-off with a hot blonde girl friend that always praised him, was good at about everything and wanted to make Gotham a Utopia.

Just a bunch of stuff that wasn't exactly Tim's style. Who was usually the underdog for one reason or another and never really cared for being in-charge of everything like in his Utopia plan. And was not really Batman's lieutenant like he was shown in Tec.

It created such frustration in me because I didn't care if Tim was cool. His charm was being a relatable, underdog, dork.

Then on the otherside there was Tomasi style of favoritism. Where he shows it in a more complicated fashion. He'd try to make the unlikable one in a situation likable by giving them a sympathetic moment.

Like he had a story where he throws Tim and Jason under the bus to make Damian look tough (therefore cool to younger boys), and then gave Damian a "it's not fair moment" for sympathy to attract more emotional types.

He had Tim be a total brat to Damian (something he doesn't do, he usually kept his thoughts internalized till one of their fights broke out, or in one instant when he thought Damian was hurting Alfred. So he wrote him OOC to make Damian be one it seem we should root for in some fashion).

So then Damian goes off to beat up Tim and Jason to prove something, even though Jason didn't even do anything. Comparing Tim being angry someone got killed to when Damian himself used to kill. Which makes no sense.

So instead of opening up the characters ina logical way that could further their relationship. It's like the characters are ignoring the obvious because Tomasi is desperate for people to like Damian so he adds "it's not fair" moments to the story instead to further the idea he wants Damian to be the likable one.

Later on Tomasi writes a story after Damian is dead and Bruce tries to trigger Jason's PTSD so he could bring Damian back (which is the kind of goofy that’s confusing and out of place, and not the kind of goofy that’s fun and adds to the experience).

And, this would ... sort of be okay, if Jason didn't already die (which was his PTSD), Bruce can be emotionally constipated and he can be a jerk because of that.

But because Bruce didn't go through this with Jason. It implies Damian's on a pedestal.

And later on it creates this odd tone, because logically Bruce is the bad guy. He's traumatizing his son on purpose for his own wants while crying stuff that's basically saying "WHY DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT ME" being emotionally abusive.

But then later on Jason agrees to help bring Damian back like we should've been on Bruce's side. A lot like the story with Damian against Tim but even more confusing because Tomasi didn't initially break Jason's character to make who's good or bad more obvious or at least implied.

(And on a side note Babs says "there's only one Robin. In that same story as Jason and Tim are right there. Further implying Damian's on a pedestal.)

It creates odd, confusing and conflicting vibes and feelings because Tomasi doesn't spend enough time to properly delve into things. You can yell character development, but it doesn't feel earned or even accurate. It feels confusing, and I feel its because Tomasi's afraid of making his favs look too bad.

Tynion seemed almost afraid of showing how Tim actually is because he wants him to be cool. But on his tumblr post he showed awareness that Tim is awkward and earnest. And I can only think of one singular time Tim was awkward, and that was to make TimSteph look cute. Earnest seems to be something he tries to put as a veil over his Utopia plan. But it doesn't add up to how it was portrayed before, as a serious plan that Tim wanted to do for the betterment of man-kind because gosh isn't he great and selfless.

It feels like excuses more than anything else.

Having favoritism just feels like it robs the stories of depth that's more than superficial. And sometimes they try to put what it should be over what they actually did write as if to say "SEE I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING" but it just seems so empty and a stretch.

One of the reasons why Bat-Family hasn't felt right in the comics is because it's portrayed so inconsistently. It's what a specific writer wants just in the moment rather then what it should be.

They don't wanna do what it should realistically be (what ever that even is), because then maybe their favs would look bad to them and they worry.

But the reason why I felt attached to Tim was because he made mistakes but he was so earnest and tried his best that you wanted to see him do better. They didn't spend issues about how great his try was and why he's such a great guy for it. They focused on how he beat himself up for it but got back up to try again because he was a good kid with a lot of heart that really was just trying his best..

What made Damian likable initially after just being that brat was that he actually learned, and how through Dick and Alfred's teachings he got better cuz he saw better. They made the point that he was the way he was because of other people, but they didn't draw to make him likable because of that. He grew to be likable because of how he grew as a person.

Something not taken as seriously later on. Instead of growing his morals they tried to make him cuter in ways that replace who he just was, and not who he was for better or worse, just how he went about things and interacted with people, to make him cuter and therefore easier to like, even if its not how he is. Another trick I think Tomasi used to make him likable. Because I feel like he was too afraid of him growing a certain way. Because to grow you have to admit you're wrong. Something Tomasi only touches sometimes. And hardly at all other times. Just a tinge of a touch to imply but not a bunch of needed focus to feel real. He might have his characters grow as long as it makes who ever look good. Where in other situations it might make them look bad compared to another.

Tynion put Tim's character on a stand-still, because he wanted to change him to appeal to an audience of some sort if not just his teenage self. The stories feel on a bubble of themselves because they don't feel connected with what happened before, or even after since YJ thankfully went back to how he was before.

Robbing the stories of feeling as big to the characters history as I'm sure the intention was.

Fan fiction writers can do as they please. They have responsibility to no one, but I feel official writers have more responsibility seeing how big these characters are, and the attachments people made to them.

So to throw some stuff away to make your fav likable just makes things feel selfish.

I don't feel like writers show responsibility or care when these things happen.

(And I wish Jason would stop being thrown under the bus to make what ever random person look better. Even tho the person trying to look better ends up looking like a jerk. AKA Tim and Dick in post-UTRH stories that just annoy me. Cuz why did Jason have to be treated like such crap.)

[thecrimsonvalley]

001 | Send me a fandom: Fatal Frame 2, 002 | Send me a ship: Gascoigne/Henryk, 003 | Give me a character: Jennifer (Rule of Rose) ♥

001| Send me a fandom and I will tell you my: Fatal Frame 2

Favoritecharacter: Oh that’s really a hard one but I would have tosay Itsuki. I feel terribly sorry for the poor lad and I suppose Isomewhere can relate to his idealism. He tries his best even thoughit ends up making things a whole lot worse!

LeastFavorite character: Mayu. Just… Mayu. To explain mythoughts: she was made to be this driving force, for you to want torescue her and make it out but when this little shit gets “possessed”for the five millionth time and continues to whine about you leavingher behind, I’ll gladly go to the hellish abyss and shove her inthere myself.

5Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): That’s gonna be a nofrom me. Most of the cast is either dead or underage, so it is not mycup of tea to ship stuff.

CharacterI find most attractive: See the last point.

CharacterI would marry: Last point again.

CharacterI would be best friends with: That’s kind of a hard one but Ithink I wanna say Itsuki or Mio.

Arandom thought:Am I the only one who thinks that the designs in the remake were atad inappropriate? I know they aged them up from their original ageof 15 but I really did not fancy the cleavage, big boobs and cutebutton nose appearances ^^’

Anunpopular opinion: Don’t know if this is an unpopular opinionor not but I don’t think this is the best Project Zero/Fatal framegame. I know this is generally a fan favourite and I like it but Ithink that some of the others are way better/better story.

MyCanon OTP: There isn’t any what I know? So this one goesblank.

MyNon-canon OTP: See above.

MostBadass Character: Mio, hands down. She’s in a situation wheremost people would probably drop dead of fright yet here she is,yeeting ghosts left and right to save a sister that seems a tad toomanipulative for my taste.

MostEpic Villain: Sae. The writing really came off good here,through the notes you get that she has been feed an ideal from birthand that it motivates her to unthinkable places. This makes her bothsympathetic and really bad ass. Her boss fight is about as fun asdoing Pilates on top of acid though…

PairingI am not a fan of: Everyone can do what they wish butpersonally I’m no fan of underage ships, specially not in the sexualsense.

CharacterI feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Mayu.It makes it hard for me to fully enjoy the game when I see what theywere going for. For me, if they had just added some scene/plot of Mioloosing her shit with her and actually showing that there might besome friction from Mio’s side about Mayu’s complete dependence onher, it could have worked so much better. Heck, have Mio tell Mayuoff for being a burden and then have Mayu try to help and getcaptured. This could work to show that Mio were acting under stressand regrets it and drive the player to want to find Mayu more thanbefore and not just see her as an overbearing burden with a strangesister obsession.

FavouriteFriendship: The friendship between Itsuki, Mutsuki, Sae andYae seems to have been rather sweet when they were all younger. Also,the sibling relationship between Itsuki, Mutsuki and Chitose isreally sweet.

CharacterI most identify with: My own head canon has made Mio kind ofa 100 % done character and I guess I identify with that. But that isnot the canon appearance of her so take that with a pinch of salt.

CharacterI wish I could be: Can I say Sae? Can I just get to… floataround, laugh like a maniac and bring a bit of fuck up to the world?

002| Send me a ship and I will tell you: Gascoigne/Henryk

WhenI started shipping them: Honestly,almost from the start. I was really into a ship with Gascoigne and anOC but slowly this one grew on me as one of my ships between canoncharacters. When I ship this I also keep Viola in there, as a partnerthat joins at times and at times not, just like Henryk sometimes doesnot join Viola/Gascoigne.

Mythoughts: Justtwo old dudes being hunter pals am I right? I adore them because Iimagine such a lot of warmth and kindness between the two, not tomention the mutual understanding of how hard it is to go throughhunts and all what that means.

Whatmakes me happy about them: Thethought of them being dorks when hunting. Of a tricky situation inwhich the solution was Gascoigne taking Henryk on his shoulders andhe runs through the town while Henryk throws poison knives ateverything within a 10 mile radius.

Whatmakes me sad about them: *Grosssobbing as I look at canon fates*

Thingsdone in fanfic that annoys me:Any jealousy or implications that Viola is a bitch who destroys thegay ship, boho. I really hate love triangles, let them all be in themost wonderful of polyamorous relationships dang it!

ThingsI look for in fanfic:Hurt/comfort without it going into “crawling in my skin”territory. Fluff and goofy situations, I love to see charactersactually have flaws and be able to be dorks and mess up without itbeing a big deal aka I hate when characters are portrayed as flawlesshunks who’s only flaws is that they are so brooding TM .

Mywishlist:Hm, hard one. There is very seldom fan art of this so, more of that.Also, more Henryk of colour (fun fact: personal head canon were thatHenryk were black which was later confirmed in his model, which mademe very happy :D )

WhoI’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:Gascoigneis obviously always gonna be paired off with Viola and I love that tobits! For Henryk, I had a headcanon that him and Eileen were verysweet on one another so that is a pairing I could go off with.Perhaps some Henryk/Valtr as well.

Myhappily ever after for them: Theyall live! Big house! Raise kids! Goes to pub on Saturday and spendSunday hungover during church sermon as Viola makes hushedinappropriate comments and enjoys watching Gascoigne and Henrykshivering with held back laughter.

003| Give me a character & I will tell you: Jennifer (Rule of Rose)

HowI feel about this character: Iwant to protect her so bad. As someone who has been the meek weakbutt of all jokes for bigger part of their childhood, I just want toprotect Jennifer so gosh darn much!

Any/allthe people I ship romantically with this character:My answer is Jennifer/Wendy but I want it known that I see this as apuppy love. There is a difference between the romance that you haveat that age (and I mean this is canon) and how adults view romance.

Myfavorite non-romantic relationship for this character:I always liked to imagine that Jennifer had some sort of silentfriendship with Eleanor. The sort of thing where she would beconvinced Eleanor didn’t even know she were there but then besurprised that she were included in her drawings or were given somelittle trinket. (It all ties in with my own headcanon that Eleanor ison the autism spectrum and have a hard time expressingemotions/connections over all.)

Myunpopular opinion about this character: Don’tthink I have any but the closest I can get is probably, I wish thestory had actually been child!Jennifer instead of the morepsychological but nonsensical retelling. I understand why they didNOT go for that though: imagine trying to pass a game through thatages censorship on “yeah a young girl gets constantly bullied andchased by monsters!”. Would probably never have gone over well.

Onething I wish would happen / had happened with this character incanon: Can’treally think of anything on this one.

Favoritefriendship for this character: Ilike to imagine that there were actually friendship between thecharacters and not just cruelty. The entire game is highlightingevents such as Jennifer interpreted them as a child but with anobviously over exaggerated tone to it. I like to imagine that inbetween the cruelty of children there were actually some genuinefriendships. That and I totally wanna headcanon that Jennifer andClara got along very good as Jennifer were a quiet child that didn’tpester with too many questions which Clara probably appreciated. Alsolike to imagine that since Clara had her own issues and feeling leftout as a young teenage girl she would take pity on Jennifer for beingthe runt of the litter around the orphanage.  

Mycrossover ship: Acrossover friendship between her and Mio from Project Zero 2. Thanksto thesaeseries.