#Time to brainrot over these 2 for the next 6 weeks
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I NEED hamlaf content but I'm in some really bad art block and my attempt at writing oneshots has been... ineffective to say the least CLAWS AT THE WALLS OF MY ENCLOSURE
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One of Deuce's old delinquent "friends" was being weird with Yuu (Allen)...
Reblogs are extremely appreciated! 👉👈
Allen suffers from major insecurities and trauma caused by people commenting on him and bullying him for his rather feminine appearance, and Deuce, who's already quite protective over casual friends, DEFINITELY ain't taking it.... That said, these two have a massive "cute mutual protectors" dynamic and Allen protects/defends Deuce equally much!
YEAHHH the third part of my Allen x Deuce ship introduction is here!! I'm brainrotting so hard—
Previous parts: part 1 // part 2
Next up is most likely the ship event post I mentioned before 👀
Below is the second part of Allen & Deuce's relationship timeline! Its first part can be found here.
SPOILER WARNING for Book 5 & Book 6!
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BOOK 5:
Between Book 4 and 5, Allen finally had his top surgery (he's intersex & used to wear binders). Deuce not only accompanied him to the hospital, but also stayed in the next room for the entire duration of the surgery and made sure to immediately visit Allen once it was over. He sat by the blonde boy's bed, his mere presence comforting Allen and making him feel at peace. The following days, Deuce spent even more time at Ramshackle and strictly slept over every night as he wanted to be 100% attentive and take perfect care of Allen all around the clock. Needless to say, Allen constantly thanked Deuce for being there for him, and it only intensified his own feelings... Allen had never been taken care of this much before, and it was probably more than what an average friend would do for you, right...? Did this mean...? No, Deuce couldn't love him. Nobody could. That's what Allen had been taught all those years, after all. And if so many people had said it, it had to be the truth...
Unfortunately, the VDC got announced shortly after Allen's surgery, and his recovery included a strict prohibition from sports or anything exhausting. Allen, being an aspiring musician and good dancer, cursed to himself — this would've been THE opportunity to go viral — and the Heartslabyul freshman listened to him rant. That's when Deuce ultimately decided that he'd audition... he wanted to support his mom with the money and keep an eye on Epel anyway, and now, he could not only fulfill his recovering crush's dream for him by performing and hopefully promoting Allen through it, but also impress him...
Little did Deuce know that Allen didn't need to be impressed. Watching Deuce practice — yes, even when he didn't get a single step right and tripped over his own feet — was super cute and gradually attractive to Allen, not to mention that the blonde boy really liked Deuce's voice as well...
Training was hard for Deuce, but knowing that Allen was watching certainly helped... He did his absolute best and followed Kalim and Jamil's guidance as closely as possible. Couldn't mess up in front of his crush, right!?
When Deuce got selected to be a performer and Allen became the manager, both of them celebrated in joy. While neither of them mentioned it, this meant that they'd get to spend even more time together...
...and when Vil decided that everyone would stay at Ramshackle for the preparation period, these two mentally celebrated even more. Now they'd officially live together for a couple weeks...
In order to prevent shenanigans and an angry Vil, Allen searched for sugar-free alternatives of Deuce's favorite snacks as well as food tasting similar to them. However, Allen would occasionally let Deuce snack on his own secret reserves whenever the two were together in Allen's room, away from prying eyes.
Deuce had problems sticking to Vil's prescribed skincare routine, so Allen decided to help him with it. He reminded Deuce of the routine every morning and evening and also helped him apply the products.
Deuce also struggled with the set bedtime and asked Allen to remind him to go to bed early. Considering that Allen had been struggling with his own sleep schedule for some time and would often stay up until past 3 am on the worst nights, the two decided to simply share a bed on most days so they could "force" each other to sleep on time. Not only did this intensify their relationship even more and excite both of them, but it helped Allen fall asleep much sooner... Deuce's presence was soothing to him and distracted Allen just enough for him to not overthink his life prior to going to bed.
During the preparation period, Allen offered to help Deuce with his vocals, which the Heartslabyul student excitedly accepted. Not only could he improve his own singing through it, but spend even more time with Allen and listen to his beautiful singing voice a lot, too... Additionally, Allen was able to efficiently teach Deuce due to being a self-taught singer with little knowledge on technical terms and theory, resulting in extremely easy and comprehensible explanations that could actually be understood by Deuce.
On occasion, Allen also taught the blue-haired boy basic makeup skills and sometimes even did Deuce's makeup for him. Needless to say, there were TONS of eye contact and blushing involved...
In addition to this, Allen kept helping Deuce with his gradually improving self-control and school work. Deuce, too, assisted Allen with the rest of his recovery and was super attentive.
Due to the combination of the shared dorm, their close friendship, their study sessions and the intense VDC preparation, Allen and Deuce were quite literally spending the entirety of every day together by now. While they had always been around each other a ton, this was what ultimately made them come off as inseparable.
You would've thought it would be impossible for Deuce to fall any harder, but oh boy... with every passing day, it only got worse. Deuce basically had heart eyes like a lovesick puppy at the mere mention of Allen.
While Deuce tried to hide his ginormous crush, it was impossible to deny. Everyone could see the way Deuce looked at Allen with nothing but admiration and love in his eyes, and Ace even started getting concerned due to how down bad & out-of-character Deuce appeared to be.
Whenever Allen wasn't around, Deuce would even ask Vil and Rook for advice on his appearance and compliments. He was desperate to impress and woo Allen and awkwardly admitted this to the two Pomefiore housewardens, too. Neither were surprised as they had already Deuce's crush on Allen, and they ended up actually giving the boy some advice.
When Deuce once came over to visit friends and pick up some things at Heartslabyul, Cater was blown away by the strong scent of his cologne. The fact that Deuce had suddenly bought something like that sure was surprising, especially considering that the boy was usually more of an Axe guy...
Not only that, but Deuce practiced the dance in front of his mirror extremely often, too. It had to perfect... HE had to be perfect for Allen. After all, the blonde boy was way out of his league...
Being around Deuce so much made Allen's feelings grow quickly, too. However, unlike Deuce, Allen absolutely HATED them and tried to get rid of them out of fear of being rejected and hurt again. All those years, he had been taught that nobody could ever love him and that developing a crush on him was basically impossible, so why would Deuce of all people like him back?! Allen actively denied his feelings... he couldn't risk this friendship or the possibility of having a broken heart again. He'd just wait for this phase to pass...
Grim noticed that Allen was suddenly spending even more time with Deuce and that the two also got progressively touchy. He confronted Allen with something along the lines of "Why're ya spending SO much time with him?! Do you have a crush on him or somethin'? Myahaha!". Shit, Allen thought to himself. His cat knew.
Vil knew, too. So did Rook. So did Jamil, Kalim, Ace, Epel and even the ghosts! The only ones who somehow didn't know about each other's feelings were Allen and Deuce...
Allen tried his best to deny the way he felt whenever Deuce would flash him a smile during practice performances. Deuce, on the contrary, would melt internally at every proud grin Allen gave him...
The fact that Deuce was now a better singer allowed him to approach one of Allen's favorite impulsiveness control methods with more confidence: singing and rapping out one's feelings and frustration.
Additionally, Allen admired the fact that Deuce was now trying his hand at ballet in order to overcome the last few traces of his old internalized toxic masculinity. Allen, struggling with some toxic masculinity himself and having been ashamed of his curves and rather androgynous appearance all his life, saw this as an inspiration to try his hand at more feminine fashion. He had wanted to do this for a long time, but held back out of fear of being seen as even less of a man because of it... and now here Allen was, wearing more feminine clothing for the first time and making Deuce fanboy even harder than usual.
Deuce was not the only one fanboying, though. During the entire VDC performance, Allen was cheering like a madman and couldn't keep his eyes off Deuce. So what if they had Vil, Epel and Jamil? To Allen, Deuce was the star of the show.
When Deuce finally discovered his Unique Magic, Allen was not only incredibly proud and happy for the Heartslabyul student, but was also reminded of an old character he had created as a younger teenager who had had the exact same skill as Deuce. Was this a sign...? ...nah, he must've been delusional.
BOOK 6:
During the invasion, Deuce immediately jumped in front of Allen in order to protect him, but got hit himself instead. When he got injured and passed out as a result, Allen absolutely panicked. He wasn't even really concerned about how the dorm was being damaged — only Deuce's wellbeing was on Allen's mind. Additionally, he felt overwhelming guilt that this had only happened because Deuce had protected HIM...
Instead of going to S.T.Y.X., Allen decided to stay at NRC in order to take care of Deuce. He spent most of his time in the infirmary, sitting by Deuce's bed and waiting for him to wake up. Why was he doing this?! Out of guilt only? Certainly not... Was he crazy?! Deuce was just a friend... just a friend... just a friend who he loved a lot and had undeniable feelings for. No matter how much Allen tried to fall out of love, it was impossible. Deuce had given him so much and it was the most Allen had ever been cared for...
When Deuce finally woke up, Allen immediately pulled him into a relieved, loving lung-crushing hug and didn't want to ever let go. Deuce felt as if he was about to pass out again due to the happiness caused by Allen cherishing him so much.
Deuce and Allen kept doing their usual activities — hearing each other out, helping each other, spending fun time together — while hoping for Grim and the housewardens to finally return.
Considering how often Deuce stayed at Ramshackle anyway, him and Allen decided that he could simply leave some of his belongings from the VDC preparations at the dorm. This only prompted Deuce to visit Ramshackle and sleep over even more...
Every night before going to bed, Deuce wrote about Allen into a little diary. Hell forbid Ace found it, but at least it allowed Deuce to openly express his feelings without being judged or teased. As he kept reading through the words he had written already over and over again, Deuce realized even more just how much Allen had helped him with various highly important things over the past 5-6 months of knowing each other... and that's when he decided to buy the giant Shiba plushie Allen had recently mentioned as a thank-you gift. Sure, he had already occasionally gifted Allen stuffed animals before, but maybe this huge Shiba would convey his gratitude and crush even more...
Needless to say, Allen was blown away by the gift and pretty much jumped Deuce out of joy. He had wanted this Shiba plushie for weeks now, and receiving it as a surprise gift from his crush was an indescribable feeling. However, Allen strictly viewed it as a platonic thank-you gesture and didn't (want to) get the hint. After all, why would Deuce be pining after him...?
Near the end of Book 6 [= during the time when the game's canon Yuu is still at S.T.Y.X.], Deuce suddenly received a call accusing him of highly offensive vandalism in his hometown. Both Allen and Deuce were absolutely furious at this unreasonable accusation, and it was a no-brainer for Allen to prove Deuce innocent. While Deuce broke down and complained about never being able to escape his past no matter how much he tried, Allen not only encouraged him and told him that he had become a much better person, but was also determined and already had a plan. Having excellent manipulation skills and a way with words, Allen got Crowley to give him access to all private cameras around the school to prove that Deuce had been at NRC the entire time and couldn't possibly have been the culprit. He mailed the recordings to the police station in Deuce's hometown, managing to prove that the Heartslabyul student was innocent. Allen also suspected that the person blaming the vandalism on Deuce was likely the culprit or one of their friends, encouraging the police to continue their investigation with them. Deuce, on the other hand, couldn't have been more grateful that Allen had successfully cleared his name and stood up for him like that. A week later, a call informed the two boys that one of Deuce's former friends had admitted to the crime and had tried to blame it on Deuce out of anger that he had distanced himself from them. Hearing how his old "friend" had betrayed Deuce only made him cherish his current friendships and especially the relationship he had with Allen even more...
BOOK 7:
[I haven't played Book 7 yet, so I'll either update this section later or share it in a separate post! Until then, we're assuming that they realized just how much they loved each other even more.]
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That's everything for now! The final part of their relationship timeline (post book 7), including when they FINALLY get together, will be in my next Allen x Deuce introduction post!
However, my next overall post is likely going to be the announcement for my ship art/writing event 👀
Thank you for the support on my previous Allen x Deuce posts! It means ridiculously much to me 🥹🥹🥹
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst art#twst fanart#twst deuce#deuce spade#twst yuu#twst mc#twisted wonderland fanart#allen alagona#yuu twisted wonderland#twst yume#yuu twst#yumeship#oc x canon#my art#twst oc#twisted wonderland oc#oc twisted wonderland#yuu x deuce#deuce x oc#allen x deuce#spade of storms#twisted wonderland yuu#twst writing#twst ships#twst drabbles#deuce fanart#twst comic#twst prefect
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💌 Reading into the palms of isekai bullshit:
Chapter 8 💌
Summary: You were no stranger to isekai bullshit. It’s not like you had a problem with it. The genre took over the anime scene for years now but you try to stay away from thinking about how you would handle the situation. The last time you thought about inserting yourself into your favorite show you wrote a 100k word xReader fic for your favorite characters and you didn’t want to spend all your time consumed by the brainrot again. Never again, you promised yourself that was the last time you’d let the devil on your shoulder win. You clicked on chapter 1 to start the adventure over again but when you opened your eyes and saw Dazai O-FUCKING-samu getting choked by Kunikida you honestly hoped it was a dream.
Notes: Oh boi first I wanted to thank everyone for being patient with me I'm sure if you read my other works you're in the know, and probably sick of hearing about how the last half of 2023 I was pretty much in and out of the hospital but I'm fine now! ...BTW 🍋 in this one
★ Chapters [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [You Are Here] ★
💌 Word count: 3,392 💌 <= Previous Chapter | Next Chapter =>
Three hours, you have been running around for three hours trying to find Dazai. You were hunched over panting, clutching the wall of a building to brace yourself. If only you hadn’t lied to Chuuya then you could get his help. Although if Dazai doesn’t want to be found, maybe Chuuya wouldn’t be able to find him either. The roof, Dazai’s room, Oda’s grave, Lupin, rivers, bridges? You were running out of places to go and places that you knew of. You grit your teeth, Ranpo won’t help you either. Not unless you beg and he feels sorry for you. At this point you were pulling on your hair at your wits end. Where would he go? Or rather maybe you should be asking a different question. Where would be the last place you would look?
You coughed before running back to the dorms. There was no way right? The last place you would expect Dazai to be, would be in your room. It was fairly sound logic. With the kind of person he knows you to be, you probably wouldn’t go back to your room until you either found Dazai or gave up. Sometimes the best hiding spot was in plain sight. Your lungs were burning since before you rounded the corner let alone when you tripped up the stairs. This had been the most cardio you’ve gotten in a long time and this was including the week Q’s ability was let loose. You fumbled with the key and stumbled inside heaving as you fell to your knees trying to close the door behind you. The clattering of bottles could be heard from the entryway. You managed to pull yourself to the main room to see the damage. It looked just as cluttered as Dazai’s room to the point where you were concerned for his liver. It was a mixture of empty sake and whiskey bottles. You might have to get Yosano to pump his stomach. Dazai was curled up into a ball in the corner of the room. He still had half a bottle of whiskey in his hands and his head was in his knees.
You tried your best to catch your breath before trying to navigate through the wreckage that you’re going to have to clean up later. To be completely honest you half expected him to drop off the face of existence for a week. You’re surprised you even found the brunette. You looked around whistling to yourself. People always say something, something Chuuya’s the alcoholic but you're convinced otherwise. You don’t think Dazai even registered your presence when you sat next to him. Gently you pried the bottle from his hands, taking a swig for yourself. It wasn’t your go to hard liquor but after everything you needed a drink. Your head had too many thoughts that needed to be quieted down.
You put the cap back on the bottle and leaned your head on his shoulder putting his hand that once held the whiskey in your own while interlacing your fingers to deter him from running. Although you highly doubt he could in this state, but you never know with anime logic. For all you know he could have just moved all the bottles from his room to make it look like he was far gone. The only real clue you had was the fact he smelled like alcohol and sweat but you weren't much better either.
“You still conscious Dazai?” You take a glance in his direction seeing if he turned his head towards you or anything. He didn’t.
“How’d you know I was here?” His voice was cold and smooth. If you didn’t know any better you would probably think he was sober. It takes roughly thirty minutes for alcohol to take an effect on your body. Although you didn’t know when he started drinking and how much he had. Trying to deduce the situation was harder than you thought. There were too many variables you needed to take in account and nothing could have prepared you for this if it was a trap. You would just have to trust your gut and with all the empty bottles laying around, assuming he did drink them then he had no chance to be sober. It kind of worried you.
“I didn’t. I ran out of places to look and hoped you’d be in the last place I searched.”
Dazai only nodded at your explanation. You sighed leaning over him to use your other hand to grab his face. “Look, I’m not like you, or Ranpo,” you paused briefly grasping at straws “Or even Fyodor. I'm not a genius. I have, one, very specific party trick, for everything else I’ve been taking shots in the dark. I’m not actually eloquent with my words and can’t pull these, “Everything will be okay” monologues out of my ass. So tell me what's actually bothering you so I can fix it and we can move on.”
“No” He had absolutely no hesitation in his answer and it caught you off guard.
“No? What do you mean no?” You studied his eyes but he blankly stared back at you before his eyebrows knit together with uncertainty. Dazai huffed “I don't know.” The tone of his voice made your heart clench.
Dazai looked down at the hand that was still holding his. He slowly tugged his fingers free as he changed the grip you had on him. He sucked in a shaky breath melting into the hand you had on his cheek “It hurts,” Dazai turned, pulling you as close as he could before placing your other hand on his chest, directly over where his heart was “Right here.” Your eyes widen at the gesture, your mind going completely blank. You watched as his expression faltered showing just how uncomfortable he was. Dazai was shaking like a cornered animal.
He was trying his best not to push you away or intentionally say something to hurt you even though he could feel the venomous words dancing on his tongue. He didn't know how to sit with the vulnerability. It didn't even occur to Dazai that he was trembling until you pulled him into a tight hug. He latched onto you like you could disappear at any moment. You honestly didn’t know what to make of this either so you did the same, shifting closer. You closed your eyes listening to his breathing as you rubbed his back. Neither of you had anything else to add for a while and you don’t think you could, even if you did.
The only signal that time had even passed you by was the light from outside. It had faded from its original brightness leaving you two huddled in the dark. At this point you were both gross and sticky with sweat, you should probably take a bath or at least start cleaning up so you can lay your futon out. You carefully pulled away just enough to look at the rest of the room. “I’m not letting you leave but we need to at least move everything out of the way if we plan on sleeping tonight. Do you want to bathe first or?”
Dazai mumbled out his response but you couldn’t understand a word or at least you hoped that you heard him wrong because you could have sworn he said “together?”
When you didn’t answer, he finally turned to look at you, reaffirming your assumption. “Can we bathe together?”
You blushed at the sudden request. He was being serious. “I-uh” you were torn. This wasn’t exactly what you had in mind but you were adults and maybe he just didn’t want to be alone right now? It’s hard to say really when he’s studying you like a hawk, waiting for an answer. You swallowed your embarrassment, worst case scenario you could bathe in your underwear. “We can bathe together,” You stood up to start clearing away the bottles knowing you wouldn’t want to do it after your bath. “But only if the bandages come off because I swear I’m not bathing with a heathen.”
You bolted upright, nearly dropping a bottle when you felt something grab your arm. Dazai was peering down at you with an emotion you couldn’t place “Only if you’re naked too.” It was said firmly and with no room for negotiations. Biting your lip you weigh out your options but given your current circumstance, what did you have to lose? You matched his gaze.
“Okay.” You smiled.
If this is what it took to bring Dazai back to his usual self then so be it. After all, it was only fair. Dazai had done his fair share of laying himself bare. Now it was time to return the favor, albeit in a completely different sense. It didn’t take long to push all the bottles aside and set up your futon. You were amazed Dazai was even standing on his feet. As you grabbed some towels, it occurred to you that Dazai would have nothing to change into afterwards but you didn’t want to leave him to grab something from next door. You guess you would just have to wash his clothes so he had something to sleep in. You turned away to disrobe and surprisingly Dazai did the same. Neither of you said anything as you gathered up his clothes and walked out of the room to put them in the wash. He had a lot of bandages to unravel anyways. You should probably see if you had any for him to use later.
When you walked back in you tried not to look him over but you could feel his eyes roaming your body freely. It was making you self conscious until he said “You’re beautiful.” You nearly got whiplash from how fast your head snapped in his direction. It was jarring to see him without the bandages, numerous scars were scattered on his skin but your eyes were drawn to the faded scar across his chest. The one he acquired while fighting alongside Chuuya at fifteen.
“You're one to talk.” You moved to start the shower. “Don’t you know girls find scars hot.” As you were adjusting the temperature you felt arms wrap around your center. Dazai rested his head on your shoulder. “Hmmm girls maybe but what about beautiful women?”
You turned the shower head to splash him. “Oh, now you're really dripping with good looks.” You laughed teasing him. Dazai looked like a wet cat as you tousled his hair under the warm stream. “Of course I find them hot, silly, I wouldn't have said so otherwise.” You were glad he couldn't see your face that well from his spot on your shoulder. It was one thing to flirt with him in jest, another when you were alone but right now you were both naked in the shower. It kinda made your head spin with how odd the day has been.
As you tried to grab for the soap to start scrubbing off the grime Dazai intercepted your hand. “Allow me.” He said in a low voice. His breath was tickling the shell of your ear. The demand left you frozen as you felt Dazai start feeling up your body with his hands ignoring the luffa hanging from the caddy. Reflexively you squirmed backwards pressing Dazai against you further. You swallowed, there was nowhere to run. Blood rushed to your face. His hands glided over your breasts, brushing your nipples ever so slightly. Dazai made sure they were extra clean before giving them a playful squeeze. You let out a small mewl biting your lip before his hands moved down the rest of your body.
Dazai was intrigued with how far you would let him go, entertained by the soft noises you were making. He kissed your neck as he let one hand drift between your legs. His goal was to clean and tease, but if you begged for it he wouldn't complain. He was thrilled that you didn’t push him away. You had every right to be furious with him but you weren’t. You must really trust him. It makes him feel warm inside.
Dazai was touching you everywhere but the one place you wanted and it was killing you. He never passed through the crease of your folds. It made you take a sharp inhale. This was all so intimate and it was driving you crazy. You were torn, it felt good and you wanted it to go further but you were so tired and dead awake at the same time. The feelings swimming around in your head were all over the place. You decided he’s had enough, it was your turn. Gently you stopped his hands turning around to do the same. Lazily massaging the soap around his body.
Dazai smiled softly as you took the time to kiss every scar within your reach. Your hands stopped on his pelvis. Right now you had so much power. It really depended on what you wanted. Do you get him hard? Maybe suck him off a little and leave him wanting more? Or should you just ignore the area altogether since you’re not sure if you could finish what you start. It was a hard decision but if you wanted to soak in the tub at anypoint tonight you should probably move this along. Instead you forgo the area, handing Dazai the soap as you start washing your hair. If you touched him you probably wouldn’t be able to stop yourself.
When you do finally get the bath running you try not to stare at the brunette but the missed opportunity is all you can think about as you step inside the hot water. Dazai was leaning into your chest because you wanted to make up for what you should have done earlier. You had your arms snaked around his torso holding him to your chest. The job of every big spoon is to make sure their little spoon can feel their love and affection. While the gesture was genuinely supposed to be innocent your thoughts were anything but. You both soak like that for a while letting the hot water relax your sore muscles trying to set those thoughts aside.
As the water started cooling down you started kissing the crook of his neck. The events from earlier were getting the better of you. It wasn't long before your hands traveled downwards, once again resting on his pelvis drawing little circles on the area. Decisions, decisions all of them wrong but you didn’t want to stop. Maybe it was because you were both touch starved and emotionally drained. Dazai hummed tilting his head back over your shoulder giving you more room to kiss his neck. Fuck it you’ve already come this far. You started palming at his member with one hand as the other lazily stroked his chest.
Nothing is hotter than being able to feel Dazai grow hard under your touch. It was hard to pump his length under the water in a meaningful way but you continued to fondle him until he was fully erect, marveling at the thickness in your hands. It was hard to tell how much prep you'd need since you were already turned on but the water was also warping your view of his size. Dazai groaned in your ear gripping your thigh. In this position he was at your mercy and right now your hand was giving him way too much friction. If you stroked him any faster it would be an uncomfortable amount. “C-can I help you?” he practically hissed.
“Be a good boy and dry off while I put your clothes in the dryer.” You gave him a kiss on the lips as you were getting up to grab your towel. You didn't have to look back to see that he was excitedly following orders. You could hear the water start to drain when he pulled the plug. Your heart was racing as you quickly filled the dryer. This was happening, you were doing this. Taking a deep breath you prepared yourself mentally.
The room was still dark. It seemed Dazai didn’t bother turning on any of the lights. You could vaguely see Dazai was already splayed out on the futon waiting for you. “Like what you see?” He gestured to himself slowly trying to entice you further.
“I do,” you giggled “But I think I need a closer look.”
You gracefully crawled next to him, giving him another kiss on the lips. “Oops my eyes were closed” You teased playfully, melting into his lips a second time. Dazai smiled, happily invading your personal space. Hesitantly you let your hands wander bringing him closer to you. Each kiss was making you breathless but you didn’t want to pull away. Not when you could feel Dazai’s hands caressing your sides. The brunette shifted on top of you, nibbling your bottom lip. You gasped letting him deepen the kiss, allowing his tongue to make your headspin. You were so captivated by his lips you didn’t realize Dazai was spreading your legs until he slipped a finger inside you, causing you to moan out unexpectedly at the sensation.
It went in so easy you almost didn’t notice until Dazai’s slender finger brushed just the right area to send a wave of pleasure down your spine. He was quick to add another grinning “Someone must be enjoying themselves. It’s very wet down here, bella.~” Dazai kissed around your jaw and down your neck, lazily fingering your entrance.
You squirm a little at how slow he was moving. If he didn’t get you all worked up in the shower you would be a bit more patient but it’s consumed your thoughts for the entirety of your bath. “Dazai please, I want you.”
He peppered a few more kisses to your chest before pulling back to look at you lovingly. “Already? I haven’t even gotten a taste of you yet.” He mused before swiping his thumb at your clit, causing your breath to hitch. Having Dazai go down on you would feel amazing but you want to feel amazing together.
“Another time, I want you now.”
He was awestruck that someone could want him so badly. Pride swelled in his chest. He really had panicked for nothing. It took Dazai a moment to pull his fingers out and slick himself with what lingered of you, on his skin. He wasn’t joking when he said you were very wet. It was extremely inviting so much so that he was drooling at the thought. Dazai wanted to savor this moment, ogling you as he let himself plunge deeper than his fingers could reach.
You both share a shaky breath. There was no discomfort, only the pleasurable thought of feeling full. Dazai was so warm within your walls it was taking a lot of self control to move, lest he cum prematurely. That would be embarrassing. Dazai shuddered as he pulled out just enough to dive back in. It felt too good to be true and that's saying something. With every thrust you were seeing stars. At this rate you wouldn’t last very long either. You don’t even know when you started moaning his name.
Dazai dipped his lips to your ear and panted “Osamu, call me Osamu.”
Your eyes had been previously wired shut with the intense ecstasy but they snapped open at the request. “O-Osamu~” It felt so foreign on your tongue. You started choking on your words as Dazai rammed into you harder. You were turning into putty, gripping on to whatever you could to ground yourself when Dazai intertwined your fingers with his. It wasn’t long before you both hit your limits.
Dazai slumped on top of you as you both tried to catch your breath. The hot breath on your skin and the post climax bliss had the words falling out of your mouth before your brain registered them. “I love you Osamu. Don't forget that.”
It took a moment for Dazai to respond. The post nut clarity settled his anxieties just enough to come to a conclusion. He was so tired of running away he just might make the mistake of indulging in the moment, disregarding the concern his mind once had.
“I love you too.”
#bsd imagines#bsd x reader#bsd fanfic#dazai osamu x reader#dazai x reader#my bsd brainrot is showing#the BSD isekai au no one asked for#🍋
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Weekend Update 05/12/2024
I’m back! Two weeks in a row!
Very good Nerdie. We appreciate this. We’ve been keeping tabs and you’ve been busy this week.
I did dabble in a few things this week.
A new discord server started by myself and my friend fhatbhabie for Latinx/Black/POC Pedro stans. It’s one of those things where I shouldn't have been as surprised by the overwhelming support for it as I was. It’s actually been pretty awesome and I’ve had very thoughtful DMs. The name of the server is Unhinged Clubhouse.
I wrote my first mostly smut fic in a while with Dave York. Trule wasn’t expecting him of all Pedro characters but, the smut fairy does what she wants, when she wants and I just gotta roll with it. It was another entry for Jett’s Flora & Fauna Challenge.
Going through my inbox - mostly caught up but still a few outstanding replied to be made. Sorry about that.
Lastly, working on WIPs and deciding in addition to working more on Weddings 101 with Dieter, which other series I’ve been working on did I want to pop out there? Frankie and Ezra’s series are finished and I think I might wrap up the on Din series in the next part or two. The other Din series I have to workshop a bit. I have ideas of who I want to pop up next from Star Wars, I just need to work it in.
Also Weddings Dieter: Sesame Street, Reading Rainbow and cheese? How do we feel about this? I also could use some help in deciding between the following for my next series: Marcus Pike vs. hot dogs + therapy, me finally writing nice things for Javi P, Dieter + brick house + you and a baby, and Pero Tovar + Dragon for revenge?
Lastly, does anyone have some prompts for nipples? It sounds weird, but consider, this is me. Also with @mysterious-moonstruck-musings influence, I have a weird bullet point list and made a horrible drawing. I just need to write something so it will leave my mind. I hope.
Side note: Nerdie now has reblogs queued up to July 21st. The queue shall know no rest! 😎
Nerdie, like are you sure there’s no recreational use of anything? Like really sure?
Nah, these ideas are all from a sober mind. And I shudder to think what I would be like if I did, so I don’t partake. Mainly because I’m a scaredy cat and also my alcohol tolerance is low. Plus I like mixed drinks. 🤭
Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite part:
Fic recommendations! I read a lot this week!
1. Worth A Thousand Words by @intoanotherworld23 (Joel Miller x f reader)
2. Chapter 1 - Howdy Neighbor! by @inept-the-magnificent (Frankie Morales x Plus sized OFC)
3. A Rugged Kindness by @pedropascalsx (Pero Tovar x F reader)
4. Just the Lilac by @djarinmuse (Dieter Bravo x F reader/OC)
5. Torment Part 2 - Terror by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)
6. Torment Part 3 - Horror by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)
7. Torment Part 4 - Wounded by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)
8. Torment Part 5 - Victims by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)
9. Torment Part 6 - Trauma by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)
10. Torment Part 7 - Healing by @djarinmuse (Din Djarin x Fem OFC)
11. Fall Into You by @megamindsecretlair (Kevin Atwater x black fem/plus size reader)
12. For lifetimes of missing each other - chapter 1: Meat Cute by @tinytinymenace (Demon Pero Tovar x OFC)
13. For lifetimes of missing each other - chapter 2: One Bed by @tinytinymenace (Demon Pero Tovar x OFC)
14. For lifetimes of missing each other - chapter 3: Happily Ever After by @tinytinymenace (Demon Pero Tovar x OFC)
15. So Much Goddamn Talkin’ by @stargirlfics (Joel Miller x Black fem reader)
16. To the Flame chapter fourteen by @pedroshotwifey (Dark Javier Peña x fem reader) DDDE
17. Scattered Promises chapter 1 by @soft-persephone (Din Djarin x AFAB OFC)
18. Waffles and Cigarettes by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin (Javier Peña x fem reader)
This week I hope to have a new series up, maybe chapter six of Weddings 101 and my entry for the Dieter Bravo Brainrot Serve club challenge (it’s slightly over the word count - I’m going to see if it will still make sense on another edit). I dunno if all of those will happen, but at least one of them should.
Stay safe and hydrated everyone!
Love Nerdie! 🥰 💜💜💜
#weekend update#Nerdie update#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal#random thots#discord server#unhinged clubhouse#latinx writers#poc writers#black writers
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Trioholders ask game: "Fake until you make it"
Second is Yoichi's childhood friend that got crush on him from kindergarten, but too scared to confess. So, when he learns Yoichi have huge fixation over comics, he creates webtoon with OP main character (Third) that manage to give Yoichi a fanboy brainrot. So now Second creates plot for comics in a way that Yoichi likes.
LOL how cute!
1. Second has always been very awkward and never knew how to express his crush on Yoichi. After he got a crush, he used to glare in Yoichi's direction. Then when he realized this made Yoichi nervous, he ignored him instead. Yoichi thinks Second just irrationally dislikes him. This tragically ended their kindergarten friendship.
2. In high school, Second tried a couple times to join the school comic book club where Yoichi is club president, but always chickened out. After lurking around the door, he overheard that Yoichi loves OP superheroes. So Second create a webtoon called One for All using Yoichi's favorite tropes hoping this would help him understand Yoichi more.
3. It surprised Second when Yoichi found his webtoon and loved it. Second's main character is a blue-haired, superpowered hero who is sensible, well-liked, and always knows what to say. In other words, Second created Third to be what he wished to be like. Second also created Third's love interest to be just like Yoichi, but he's desperately hoping Yoichi hasn't noticed. (Yoichi has totally noticed the resemblance, but thinks it must be a coincidence.)
4. Yoichi starts posting predictions about the comics, and Second follows them religiously to get ideas about what to do next. Somehow Yoichi's guesses are always right! What a shocker! Second rarely responds to comments on his webtoon, but he starts replying to Yoichi. Gradually they shift to direct messaging each other. Yoichi is thrilled to be friends with his new favorite author. Second is sweating and wondering if he should tell Yoichi the truth.
5. AFO hates this mysterious webtoon author because he has his own webcomic (with a protagonist who isekais into a demon king) called All for One and he thinks Second ripped off his name. It's just a coincidence.
6. Everything comes to a head when AFO catches Second watching Yoichi at school and accuses Second of bullying. Yoichi actually defends Second, saying they haven't even spoken in years. Second super-awkwardly blurts out that he just wanted to see if Yoichi liked the latest chapter he was reading, then dumps his years of feelings. Yoichi is delighted with the love confession and they start dating. Everyone is happy, except AFO who played cupid for his brother yet again.
(All of these are free to use in my Three Weeks of Trioholders event.)
#bnha#ask game#Yoichi Shigaraki#Second One for All holder#Third One for All holder#Three Weeks of Trioholders#5 headcanons game#closed ask game#Duo holders#Ichinii
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SPOILERS THE ENTIRETY OF IN STARS AND TIME FOR THIS RAMBLE. im covering acts 1-6 so theres your warning now but the ramble is under the cut. fair warning, may not make much sense either
ok trust me on this. this song right here makes me think of siffrin because of the isat brainrot but IT WORKS. AND IT FITS SO WELL AND LET ME TELL YOU WHY
(this is also my interpretation of it and how i understand the song and link it to the thoughts and ideas in my head. im also picking out certain lyrics because its easier to explain, so i would recommend listening to the song for the full thing)
"And I placed my palm upon your collarbone, and I wished to fall asleep deep in your marrow."
siffrin craves closeness with the rest of the party and in the memory of bad touch and the garden room, for example, its clear that they have no clue how to ask for it, and their way of getting that closeness can be odd or just plain weird. like how the song says that "they wish to fall asleep in their marrow", its a very odd way of achieving closeness with somebody, almost like trying to melt into them. (this may be far fetched but it makes sense to me stick with me here)
"There's a hunger under my skin and its gripping at my bones. There's a hunger like a lions and its ripping right through my bones."
its that feeling of hunger that is mentioned over and over again starting at the beginning of act 2 leading all the way into the end of act 5 that siffrin feels and just cant get rid of
"I'm as calm as a baby lamb that is being led. I'm as blue as blood before the blood goes red."
since finding out about the loops, siffrin just accepts the fact that they wont stay dead when theyre killed, and they use it as a way to delete their mistakes. hes incredibly calm about touching tears, about slipping on the banana peel, about using the dagger, all of it. siffrin gets so used to the depression hes falled into and just feels bad all the time. the glass shard that siffrin repeatedly keeps cutting their finger on, and later in act 5, the same glass shard they use to carve stars into their skin. and it ties with the red that continues to pop up throughout the game.
"And how it hurts even in the sun. Its a goddamn joke how we can hurt even in the sun."
everything is fine from everyone elses perspective and theyre completely oblivious to the fact that siffrin is looping through time, spending actual weeks in a hellscape of their own making. hes dying repeatedly and nobody else is aware that this is happening and theyre all blissfully ignorant
"For a heart beats the best in a bed beside the one that it loves."
isabeau refuses to confess his love for siffrin, and siffrin refuses to admit that they crave touch, and yet, both sides love the other unconditionally. (not to mention they literally sleep next to each other every night.)
"Yes, a heart beats the best when in a head, death becomes irrelevant."
after a while, siffrin has become so used to death and dying that it doesnt even matter to him anymore. killing themself is just another necessary evil they have to face in order to get to the end, have the "perfect" loop, and find answers. since they found out they could loop, it has stuck itself in siffrin's mind that "oh i can just erase all my mistakes and start over again" without so much as blinking at the fact that it means dying repeatedly.
"Cause if you're dreaming about dying, then you're not really living, darling."
siffrins entire existence starts to revolve around the dying, the loops, and escaping them. he cant even be happy with the rest of his party because of how terrified he is of messing up. theyre practically conditioning themself to loop at any mistake they make, and they harshly berate themself for it too.
after doing the friendquests a couple times as well, siffrin has those thoughts of "your friends would hate you if they knew why you were doing this" and "if you mess it up, you can just loop back and try again". siffrin stops even paying attention to the present and is so anxious about getting the "perfect loop" that he isnt even concerned about the present but rather the outcome. i think that is ultimately what went wrong with the attempted friendquests in act 5 as well.
"You've gotta be starving, you've gotta be starving for it."
again with that hunger that cant be satisfied with anything. as the game progresses, siffrins thoughts surrounding the snacks and the food always come back to how hungry he is and how its just never enough. it keeps coming back and siffrin is literally starving during the game and it gets especially bad in acts 3-5
"And if you're crying by the moon, in the sun you better lift up that chin."
siffrin was so depressed for the entire game, but then after act 5, its like the sun rises again and they can finally escape the loops and understand that the rest of the party loves them. he doesnt have to bottle it all up until it becomes too much and he can actually begin to enjoy life again after the loops end.
"You've gotta be starving, you've gotta be starving for it."
everything is over, and siffrin can finally rid themself of those feelings of hunger. the feeling is replaced with a want for love and siffrin is finally opening up and letting themself be taken care of by their friends family after all that they went through. the raw emotion in the singers voice when she sings these lyrics also feels very fitting for this
if i could animate, i would definitely make an animatic of this song and the characters to show what i mean because it makes more sense in my mind. i have so many ideas in my head in regards to this song specifically and its infesting my brain
im debating whether or not i should actually post this because its a bit confusing and strange but fuck it we ball
#suicide mention#tw suicide#self harm mention#sh mention#tw sh#holy shit this is over one thousand words#im just silly like that#im so normal i swear#in stars and time#isat#in stars and time spoilers#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#siffrin#so many spoilers#im being so serious#long post#star rambles
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what do you do - other than bashing ur head in with a bat - when you feel like your plot isn't going anywhere or that ur story has run out of gas
usually I drop the story and move on to some newer, shinier idea.
.../hj
But! some possibilities for refreshing the spark:
1. ask if your plot is still a good plot. Is there something fundamental about the plot itself that is a wall to the rest of the story? You are officially granted permission to change major points of your plot: it's 100% okay to do this.
2. if your core plot is still good, maybe you need a subplot to build around. Your heroes are on their way to the Great Dark Mountain to destroy the cursed blade, but meanwhile their allies have to distract the Evil Sorcerer so he doesn't realize what they're up to. Now you get to add in a heist plotline where they go and kidnap the Evil Sorcerer's daughter and it turns out she wants to help them defeat her horrible father. Subplot saves the day!
3. Daydream. I tend to play my favorite scenes over and over again in my mind before I write them, fine tuning and tweaking them to get JUST the right emotion I want. Then I still have to write all the context that leads up to those Good Bits, but it's the carrot driving me forward through the boring stuff.
4. Get a friend involved. Don't necessarily show them the manuscript, but ask if you can brainstorm with them. Sometimes all it takes is explaining the story out loud to someone who doesn't altar know it inside and out for you to see where it's got hangups, and/or to get an idea of where it should go next. And if nothing else, your friend might have some ideas or questions that can spark a new train of thought.
5. Pinterest is your friend. Look for character inspiration, location art, fashion, aesthetics, prompts and quotes. Treat your story like it's a fandom and you're brainrotting over it, because you ARE allowed to do that. <3
6. And finally, because it needs to be said: It's okay to give up on a story. It really, really is. Not every story is meant to be finished -- we are our own audiences first, and sometimes the story that we were writing was what we needed for that point in our lives, and then we grow and move on and we don't need it anymore. Sometimes an idea just wasn't that solid to begin with. Sometimes you'll set something aside for weeks or years and one day go, "You know what, I think I know how to fix that--" and go back to it. There is nothing wrong or shameful in not finishing a writing project. It's not a failure or a failing, and you should be gentle and gracious with yourself if you need to give yourself permission to just let a story go -- maybe for a temporary time, maybe forever. Heaven knows I've got enough unfinished stories to fill ten libraries lol.
Best of luck, anon! Put down the baseball bat, pick up a pen, and if the words still don't come: give yourself some space and grace to grow. 💜
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2023... but told in my hyperfixations
Just a post that allows me to track all of my various hyperfixations that have helped me pass this grueling and busy year
HADES (Supergiant Game)
I played this game for at least 6 months non-stop. I was obsessed with everything about it, from story, gameplay all the way to relationships and dialogue. I was ESPECIALLY whipped for PatroChilles and ThanZag. My major fixation spurs were January and February as well as May. I still play Hades when I need to decompress, I have almost 200h in it and I have 100% achievements which is my first time ever
Captive Prince series by C. S. Pacat
I read this trilogy during February and when I tell you I was smacked in the face by how good it was. From intrigue, plot and political drama all the way to relationships. But ofc I was mostly blown away by the relationship between Damen and Laurent, like, I DID NOT EXPECT to love their relationship so much. I WAS IN SHAMBLES BECAUSE OF THEIR GENTLE LOVE. Couldn't recover for weeks
KINGDOM - Dystopia
One of the things I was really looking forward to. The whole album blew me away and the Japanese aesthetic was top notch. How much my boys have grown, I was in shambles
GENSHIN IMPACT!!!!!!!
What can I say, I ENDED UP LOOKING INTO IT. I didn't start officially playing it yet, but I went through the lore, studied all characters and their relationships and ofc got sucked into shipping side of the fandom (it's not that hard to intrigue me with that)
I was specifically OBSESSED with DainKae (Dainsleif x Kaeya), XiaoAether, HaiKaveh and CynoNari. And as new patches come by and Fointaine was introduced, my fixation periods always come back with new content. And right now, I'm all about Wriollette. Fixation started in July and has been coming and going as the new content was introduced (when Furina's backstory was introduced, I was bawling)
RED, WHITE AND ROYAL BLUE MOVIE!!!!
I was prepared for this movie since last year BUT THE ACTUAL THING BLEW ME AWAY! I was so happy to watch it finally, I LOVED the chemistry and even though I have a couple of grievances with it, I think the whole message was portrayed nicely! I won't tell you how many times I've watched the movie, it's literally my comfort media. The main fixation period was before the release and entire August.
Avatar: The Way of Water
I was very late with my watch BUT BOY WAS I OBSESSED AND HIT LIKE A TRUCK WITH IT. The movie had everything I expected it to have and it really made me feel a lot of things. I was so devastated over Teyam, I had SO MANY theories about other three sequels and honestly, I'm still not over how good that movie is. And now, that I know the third sequel is coming around Christmas of 2025, I know the first part of 2026 will be marked by that movie alone. Major fixation period was end of August and ENTIRE September
KINGDOM - Coup d'Etat
Every time Kingdom has a comeback I go into brainrot, deal with it. This comeback was special because it was the last part of their History of Kingdom series and we got SO MANY information on their lore that also prepared us for Season 2! I cannot tell you how insufferable I'll become when the next series of albums starts. As far as this album goes, though, I had no complaints, another non-skip album and Coup d'Etat was a perfect showcase of their growth in the last 3 years. So yeah, majority of my October and November was occupied by them.
And finally.... HEAVEN OFFICIAL'S BLESSING (TGCF)
This story pounced on me like a tiger from an ambush and honestly, I'm not complaining. I know all spoilers, I'm SO OBSESSED with HuaLian and am currently on the 2nd book. I think I'll be even more obsessed when I live though all the important moments though books and I CAN GUARANTEE my interest will once again peak when I start watching donghua (I'm waiting for season 2 to finish so I can watch both Chinese and English, oh, and Japanese will be watched eventually). And, ofc, I'm planning to buy all eight English volumes!!
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1879
1. Do you enjoy rhododendrons? Why did I think this was a shape? Anyway, I just looked this up and they're very pretty for sure! They *kind of* remind me of peonies, which are my favorite.
2. Have you ever met someone who supports Nazism? I haven't met anyone irl but I've come across brainrotted people on Facebook who've tried to pull off stupid Nazi shit. Filipinos are great at making stuff go viral though lmao so afaik those people have since been suspended.
3. If you’ve ever been to another country, what was the best thing you did there? The obvious answer is going to Thailand to see BTS' Suga in concert. Apart from that, the best thing I've ever done was have local sushi in Japan. I didn't even go to a fancy fine dining restaurant – it was this random diner-like spot we found at a nondescript block at 4 PM. And yet it was the best sushi platter I've ever had.
4. Which is your favorite print: Plaid, animal, stripes, spots, other? I like the look of stripes the most, but overall I'd still avoid print.
5. Have you ever owned a cell phone for over a year? If so, was it still working well? I've never owned a cellphone for less than a year...so, yes. Mine is still working well, but the battery is well under its capacity since I've always had a bad habit of letting it play videos all night long.
6. What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? Food poisoning has always been terrible to me. My stint with Covid was also pretty rough. Managed to avoid it for three years, then once it caught up to me it certainly did a great job transforming me into a corpse for a week.
7. What do you enjoy more: Fairs or circuses? Fairs.
8. Is your favorite animal something you can have as a pet? Dogs yes, elephants nope.
9. Are you good at gardening? No, never tried it.
10. What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? I started Around the World in Eighty Days but never got around to finishing it. It was nice; I just never had the time to read the whole thing.
11. Do you think you would actually read any of the epic poems, such as Beowulf or The Iliad? We took up both of those – Beowulf for sure, Iliad I'm almost certain we did, if I'm remembering correctly. Learning them both was a fun experience but I wasn't passionate enough to put like 105% into analyzing them lol if that makes sense. I just wanted to do well enough to pass.
12. Are you the type of person who feels guilty after eating junk food? I don't feel guilty but I will feel gross because the oiliness kicks in so fast, lol.
13. Tell me about a time when you felt like you had no real friends: I was in 6th grade, everyone was obsessed with the latest trends and had a Blackberry and were hanging out at Eastwood on the weekend and had a solid set of friends. At that point Angela started finding new friends too and was adjusting so much better than I ever would have at the time; my two next closest friends migrated to Canada and New Zealand in rapid succession; and the only friend I had was super unstable and wasn't exactly the most well-behaved nor the teacher's favorite. I had a shit life at home and my mom was in her peak rage phase...idk. It was a year where I didn't talk very much.
14. Have you ever felt betrayed by someone? If so, what did they do to make you feel that way? Sure, it's happened. Just stuff I don't feel like getting into.
15. Which is better: Xbox 360 or PS3? Or are you someone who doesn’t care? I don't care and don't think of them in terms of which one is better - but in my family we've always had Playstations.
16. Have you gotten registered to vote yet? I registered when I wasn't even 18 yet, haha. I was very excited to be able to vote.
17. What do you like best about your favorite actor? How about favorite actress? I don't have a favorite actor. As for Kate Winslet, girl just knocks it out of the park in everything she's ever acted in. She's just so good at playing roles of unconventional, deeply troubled characters, digging into that character's psyche and creating a personality for it that will be memorably Hers. I'll allllways always always love her.
18. Tell me how you’re feeling in another language: Pagod.
19. Would you rather drink water all day or Coca Cola all day? Water.
20. Name three movies which have a soundtrack you really love: I don't really pay attention to movie OSTs tbh.
21. Do you think Gatorade tastes refreshing or just gross? Haven't had Gatorade in yearsssssssss.
22. What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? Not sure. I don't get spooked much by video games.
23. Do either of your parents get angry over small things? My mom does, 100%.
24. What is the most dramatic TV show that you watch? Grey's Anatomy has to be up there, lmao. Queen of Tears was also such a rollercoaster of a watch.
25. Do you still watch VHS tapes? Nope.
26. Have you ever visited one of the states that doesn’t have sales tax? Was it a nice change? I've never been to the States.
27. Have you ever had Dutch Brothers’ coffee? Nope.
28. What are your grandparents like? Are they nice or mean? They are very kind, very loving people – my grandparents on my dad's side are not very verbally expressive when it comes to love, but they definitely show it and they are very sweet in doing so; like my grandma offering to massage my shoulders and braid my hair, and my grandpa making me his signature snacks and meals.
My grandma on my mom's side is far more expressive; she'll call everyday to check on us, say I love you, hug us...but then again we grew up with her so that's probably why it's easier for her to do these things with us. Both are, understandably given their generation, very traditional and having them consider more modern ways of thinking is Actually impossible. LGBT+ anything is always gonna be wrong, divorce is wrong, abortion is wrong, I can't go out wearing shorts, I should find a man who will treat me well, Jesus is the way the truth the life blahblahblahblah...
29. Do you own any pet fish? What kind of fish are they? Nope.
30. Do you have a turntable and vinyls that you regularly play? I do not. I've always wanted one, but I don't think I'd be able to sustain it as a hobby.
31. What is the most irritating thing that a boyfriend or girlfriend has ever done to you? Gaslighting. :)
32. Have you ever thrown up from being so nervous? What was happening that made you so nervous? Nah, but I've cried from nerves. We were having org elections and I was up for a vice-presidential position and it was going to be my first miting de avance...so I ended up having a quick lil breakdown of sorts.
33. Would you rather be uncomfortable but fashionable or comfortable but unfashionable? Uncomfortable but fashionable. It's nice to look cute, at least for me lol. As much as possible I try to balance both, but yeah.
34. When was the last time you took your pet to the vet? What was wrong with it? There was nothing wrong with them; I just needed to get them anti-tick meds because it's required at the dog hotel we were having them board in last week.
35. Have you ever known someone who was in an abusive relationship? Yuh.
36. If you smoke/drink/do drugs, do you feel insulted when someone tells you that it’s bad for you? Well, no, because it's true.
37. Do you like skiing or snowboarding? Have never done either.
38. Do you find government buildings dreary and uncomfortable? Some of them are, but the others are beautifully-made – like our post office and our national museums :)
39. Name the last horror story you read. If you can’t remember any, name the last horror movie you saw. Feng Shui. Hahahaha
40. What happened the last time you were embarrassed? Drew was telling me frankly to get new glasses because he saw mine had a crack.
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i saw rent again in august (and rewatched the proshot last week), i saw on your feet again tonight, and im seeing aint too proud tomorrow, so i think after that might be a good time to reevaluate my musical top 10.
there are no new contenders but the problem is my 3-6 are so close and i just really dont know how i want to order them.
like #1 isnt changing. that goes without saying. that goes without saying that it goes without saying. (i dont even need to name it i dont think)
#2 is mamma mia and thats not changing either. tho i havent seen it in a couple years, i read that super long vogue article about it last month and it just reinvigorated my love for the show for the umpteenth time. im seeing it again next month and im sure thatll just solidify it more.
3-6, in order, are bronx tale, on your feet, aint too proud, and rent. bronx tale i saw again last year and i rewatched the movie in august so its fresh enough in my mind. i love them all on roughly the same level so i just dont know what to do. on your feet and aint too proud flip flop bc they have similar premises. i feel like i was more...vocally annoying about aint too proud lol but idk something about on your feet feels more personal. i learned a ton about gloria, emilio, and their family after seeing the show and theyre just very down to earth on social media, and i even saw emily estefan in person about a month after i first saw the show so something about it is very tangible. but aint too proud is super close bc its the era i love and its even more similar to jersey boys (damn you des mcanuff). itll be interesting to see how seeing them back to back effects my opinions if at all.
rent is the outlier tho. its the main reason im even thinking about doing this. brainrot for that show has been coming and going for almost 5 years and every time it hits, it hits hard. with the production i saw in august, rewatching the proshot, and seeing anthony rapp in concert this week, it hasnt been off my mind in a while. im thinking it could move as far up as #3, but im just not sure. on one hand, theres so much more content for it, but that also isnt really fair to the other shows since they havent been around for nearly as long. plus, it having been around for so long and having been such a massive hit, it becomes less personal to me. but that hasnt been all that much of a problem to me, probably bc the "hype" was over long before i even got into it. its far from an obscure favorite to have, but its not like hamilton or wicked or something if you ask me. the other three tho are much more niche to have as favs. plus its just so different from them!! with on your feet freshest in my mind, im trying to compare them rn and its just so hard to!!
anyway as most of my posts like this are this is mostly for personal record and just to let out a stream of consciousness but. if you care there you go. well see how i feel after tomorrow.
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Sk8 headcannons because brainrot pt. 2
- everything Reki has ever taught himself has been because of the wonderful world of YouTube tutorials
- Kojiro wanted to get his ears pierced in highschool like Kaoru, but he didn't do it because he was afraid of tarnishing his image (which is ironic when he gets a massive tattoo later in life)
- Langa doesn't like cats because he thinks they're mean
- there’s a stray cat that lives near Langa’s house and even though he doesn’t like cats, he leaves out milk and some fish for it sometimes because he feels bad
- Langa has never had a pet except a goldfish he won at a carnival once that he managed to keep alive for four years somehow.
- Kaoru technically needed glasses in high school, but he didn't wear them because he just didn't care at the time (until his vision grew poor enough that it affected his skating)
- Miya gets called a furry by Reki on the daily
- Reki has some knowledge in video editing and has considered starting a YouTube channel
- Langa has a diary, something he started after his father died. At first he didn't really know what to write, so he would just talk about his day, but eventually he got to the emotions part. The diary was especially useful during his fight with Reki in which he was trying to figure out his emotions (it was also useful when he realized he might have an itty bitty crush on his best friend)
- Joe is the biggest dad friend of the group in terms of doting on the kids and giving advice and stuff. Both Reki and Langa come to him often for advice, and Miya hangs around his restaurant a lot.
- Langa has one (1) succulent that he has managed to keep alive for three years. Its name is Gary, and it may not be the prettiest, but it is not dead yet!
- Reki never tells his mother when Langa is coming over and she's trained herself to just expect a lanky Canadian to be wandering around her house at any time.
- It took Kojiro a really long time to figure out his sexuality (and that's valid!!)
- Hiromi has been hopelessly in love with his manager for three years and has tried on multiple occasions to confess to her, but either something interrupts them or there's some sort of misunderstanding about it. Those are his more violent nights at "S".
- After befriending Reki, Langa and Miya, Hiromi is a little more careful about his tools of sabotage during beefs (and he lowkey feels guilty for injuring Reki in the beginning)
- Kaoru and Reki are actually closer than one might think. Reki ends up asking him for advice just as much as he asks Kojiro.
- Reki can't do something mundane without his ears being occupied. He ends up listening to music or podcasts a lot when he does chores or is working on a board alone (but if Langa is there with him, he'll talk his ear off instead).
- Miya's family isn't particularly bad, they're just a little distant. They assume everything is okay because Miya's so successful with school and skating, and they trust his integrity (which makes it very easy for him to sneak out to "S"). He doesn't really talk to them (or anyone, really) about his struggles.
- When Miya and Koyomi meet, he shows her all his video games and suddenly Reki's little sister is a gamer girl
- Langa almost wore a long-sleeved top to the beach and Reki had to go make him change before they left ("you'll melt in that, are you crazy?!")
- Kojiro knew damn well that Kaoru had a business trip and that the gang was going to the beach, but all other parties were unaware. He just decided to tag along as to not be left out.
- Kaoru trims his own hair, as he finds salons to be ridiculously overpriced for those with long hair
- Reki dogsits for his next door neighbor sometimes, they have a shiba named Onigiri (rice ball).
- Kojiro’s pennant was a gift from Kaoru and he wears it literally all the time except in water (so it doesn’t get ruined)
- Reki’s father is pretty absent, so Oka takes it upon himself to look after him
- Langa occasionally picks up odd jobs in order to help his mom out with finances
- Langa’s favorite animal is dolphins. He had a phase as a child where he read like fifty dolphin books and it was his entire personality for a few months. Despite this, he has never actually seen a dolphin irl
- Reki takes really good care of his nails and Langa… does not. He bites them and it annoys the shit out of Reki to the point where he’s just like “please… just let me file them for you” and Langa relents despite the fact that he hates the sensation of getting his nails filed
- Reki sometimes talks to Langa about getting depressed and one time Langa is like “yeah I getchu” and Reki is just like “heh?” And Langa says “I mean my dad died and I was in counseling for like months after that before I came here” and Reki is just like “oh”
- Langa is Reki’s bi awakening and it takes him a hot second to figure that out
- sometimes Langa pretends to be more oblivious than he is, either for shits and giggles, or to obtain information
- Kaoru knows exactly how to seduce women, and occasionally uses this to his advantage. It just sucks because he’s not into women.
- Reki is super observant, but whenever Langa does something that’s an indication that he likes Reki, he’s just like “WELL MAYBE IM OVERANALYZING THIS CANT BE REAL-”
- Langa (in general) doesn’t feel the need to be super secretive about anything. He’s honest (sometimes brutally so) and doesn’t always think twice before he says something. This can be both good and bad depending on the context.
- Reki doesn’t sleep a lot. He literally has to go to bed past midnight, he absolutely cannot fall asleep earlier. He gets up at 6:30am every day of the week, even weekends. It’s just how he’s programmed.
- Kojiro used to go to the public gym before Kaoru commented about how unsanitary that was. Ever since then he got freaked out about going to public gyms (especially as someone who works in food services) and cancelled his membership. He bought his own equipment and works out on his own now
- Reki knows how to do rainbow loom. His sisters had a phase with it.
- Kojiro drew on himself with pen when he was bored in school.
- Miya has a habit of eavesdropping on conversations he’s not meant to hear
#sk8 the infinity#sk8 anime#sk8 renga#matchablossom#reki kyan#langa hasegawa#miya chinen#higa hiromi#kojiro nanjo#kaoru sakurayashiki#sk8 headcanons#soupshcs
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Oooooh, this is gonna be so fun! Tell us about yourself: Hi everyone! I'm Dasha and I'm 28 y.o. Originally from Belarus, but now live and work in Poland. If you asked me this question a couple of months ago (7 months and 10 days to be precise, but who's counting?) I would have had a lot to say. Like, that I really like to cook, backing is my passion, but more than that I like to eat and discover new cafes and restaurants with amazing flavours. If you ever visited my place, it always smells of pastry and fresh coffee and I would always pack you something delicious to go. I would also say that I'm a huge fan of reading, but more than that I probably like to collect books, and also mention that I like going for long walks, especially in a rainy weather (weird, I know). But now ALL I actually CAN talk about is my Good Omens obsession (sometimes I think that my family and friends hate me, because I have to bring GO in every conversation).
When and in what form were you introduced to Good Omens: Initially it was right after season 1 has aired. My friend came over and she was very excited about the show, so we watched it, I liked it and then FORGOT about it for the next 4 years. July 28, 2023 the same friend of mine told me that I have to watch season 2 of the show, and I was like, ok, sure, and then watched it a week later. BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE!!!! Just kidding, I'm very grateful that I watched the show. But that was the moment my obsession started...
Have you recommended/watched GO with friends or family and how did they respond: Million times! And it's not always convenient. For my work I have to hold and host a lot of meetings and sometimes for rather big audiences... Guess what my small talk topic has been for the past 7 months? And some people watched the show and liked it, or read the book and liked it as well, but nobody (NOBODY!!!) got as obsessed with it as I did. Even my friend who introduced me to this universe was able to let go in like a month or so. How do you people do it? Though this is probably wrong platform to ask this question...
When did the brainrot take over? aka at what point did your obsession start: August 6, 2023 I marked the date in my calendar and am planning to host a party on this date this year dedicated to 1 year anniversary of me meeting my hyper fixation... And it didn't start during these last 15 minutes, no... Approximately like an hour after I finished the show. Because all this time I was like 'What have I just seen?' and 'What am I gonna do?' and then I was like 'Oh! I know! There has to be fanfiction!' And that's how the real world lost me...
Which is your favorite episode: S1E3
Now word vomit about how much you love the series/characters and tell us what they mean to you: AAAAAAAAAAA OMG! I love the show! I love the actors! Amazing cast, amazing plot! But what fascinates me the most is this fandom! You guys are amazing! All the fan art, vidio edits, fan fiction written (I mean one of the best things that I've ever read is a fanfic, and nobody from my friends and family understands why), all the theories made, and just all people who post things about the plot of the show, characters, fan fic recommendations, news about the show... How do you people do it? You guys are amazing! On one hand Good Omens ruined my life a bit, because it's all I can think of and talk about (I honestly had to take like 2 week vacation, because I couldn't focus on my work), but man, am I grateful for this experience! The show has introduced me to so many amazing things and people that I will forever be grateful for it!
Hey Good Omens Fandom! While we're waiting for Season Three, let's get to know each other! This isn't a tagging game, so everyone is encouraged to share their answers. Let's get started with The Basics:
Tell us about yourself:
When and in what form were you introduced to Good Omens:
Have you recommended/watched GO with friends or family and how did they respond:
When did the brainrot take over? aka at what point did your obsession start:
Which is your favorite episode:
Now word vomit about how much you love the series/characters and tell us what they mean to you:
Click here to copy questions, then reblog and add your answers! Or go back to the original post to start a fresh chain. Please tag with good omens ask series for anyone wants to filter this post!
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Land’s Trust in Light
Building the Foundation (Chapter 2/6)
Word Count: 4080
The writing process for this chapter went as followed: I meant to start writing this in March, spent all of it stuck in brainrot, began writing and finishing the rough draft over the course of 10 days, and wrote the official version in less than a week. How in the hell I managed to still have something out this month, I have no clue.
I think this is the second most "plotless" chapter of this story, if only because this is meant to build up the friendship between Eric and Ferreth while having the plot be served as an appetizer in the beginning. I say second most, because the next chapter, I believe, will be the one, due to the plot taking a backseat but there is a hint to a future element that will be present in the overarching story so keep a look out for that!
Read on AO3 | Read on DA | Support me on Ko-fi!
Eric knocked on the door before needing to stifle another yawn. It was mid-morning in Thornewind, though he could hardly tell with the immense shadow cast over the town by the mountains. Despite everything being shrouded in almost complete darkness, he saw people setting up shop and beginning their day on his way over to Bris’ place. His memory seemed to be on point today, even with the handicap. Things were already looking to be better than Brinegarde’s visit.
God, was he tired. Another yawn fell past his lips before he could think to stop it and he felt his eyes droop for just a second. His lack of restful sleep wasn’t from discomfort or a sudden spike of anxiety in the late night. It was simply the matter of being away from home and sleeping in an unfamiliar environment. It’s happened so often by now, it’s become an expectation he’s resigned to. It could be worse; he could be passed out and fall off the stoop of the windmill. Now he could only hope no one noticed his sluggish disposition and draw attention to it.
The door swung open and he forced himself to stand up straight. He had it drilled into his head to have good posture, which meant no slouching. It’d be rude to appear as someone unbefitting of his station to lords and their attendants. He couldn’t afford to risk losing the alliance because of his sloppiness. Instead of Aissyl being the one to greet him, it was Bris.
“Good morning!” That woke him up, if his quickening heart was anything to go by. “How’d you sleep last night?”
“Uh, good morning,” he replied with a nervous laugh. “I slept okay last night, nothing special or anything.”
The bright grin on Bris’s face dropped and he asked in concern, “Mm, really? You look pretty tired to me.”
Why was he like an open book? He tried to explain it in a way that didn’t seem pathetic like, “No, I’m fine, really. It’s just, I don’t travel far from home often and I tend to not sleep very well on trips.”
“We can pick this up tomorrow or another day, if you want.”
“No, no, it’ll be fine, really! Honestly, I work better when I’m sleep-deprived so I’ll be okay.”
With a slight grimace, he stepped aside and said, “Well, all right, come on in and let’s get started then.”
Upon entering, he immediately noticed two things. The first was that one of the chairs he remembered being off to the side yesterday was gone. The other was of a savory aroma wafting around the room, making his mouth water. It emanated from a plate of freshly baked scones sitting on the center of the low table.
“You’re welcome to try some if you want, Aissyl made ‘em.” He jumped some at Bris’s voice. He must’ve caught him staring.
“Oh, um, thank you,” he stammered out, flashing him a nervous smile before grabbing a hot scone.
When was the last time he ate a scone? He knew it had been years and it smelled just like the ones back home. He took a tentative bite and he felt his knees go weak, that’s how delicious it was. He finished off the rest in quick succession, his hunger satiated by a small amount. He forgot to eat breakfast before coming here so having something in his stomach helped wake him up some.
“I’ll make sure to tell her you enjoyed them.” As he went to grab more, Bris headed inside his office. “Now let’s not waste any more time.”
Eric followed behind him, warm scones in hand. Just as he thought, the missing chair from the lounge was sitting in front of the desk for him to settle down in. However, there was something different about the desk. A teal tablecloth laid in the center with a dark blue design embroidered in the middle. It was a hexagonal shape with gladiolus flowers crawling up the sides and its petals being blown away by the wind. That must be Thornewind’s emblem, since he remembered seeing similar symbols in Brinegarde and Aurora Zenith. He wondered if the other three towns he planned on visiting at some point had emblems as well.
Once the scones were eaten, he and Bris began the meeting. He was glad to see the discussion on both sides going much more smoothly than they had between him and Lianthorne. Bris was open to compromise and he spoke in an easy to understand way, which he greatly appreciated. Their talk lasted for a couple or so hours before they agreed on the terms the other man set. With that, Aurora Zenith and Thornewind were now officially allies.
He glanced towards the window to see the sun shining through the curtains. He must’ve been so engrossed in their discussion, he didn’t notice the darkness giving way to light. Covering his mouth with a hand to let out a yawn, he looked back at Bris and that’s when he saw it.
His chin was resting against the back of his hand as his eyes seemed fixed on nothing in particular. He was tapping a finger on the surface of the desk as if he were lost in thought over something. This gave Eric a knot of anxiety. Had he committed a mistake that already threw their alliance into jeopardy?
Before he could open his mouth, Bris looked him in the eye and asked suddenly, “Hey, Eric, would you be willing to hear me out on something?”
“Um, yeah, what is it?” he replied, hoping his nerves couldn’t be heard in his voice.
“Well, here’s the thing, I need time to figure out how I’m going to tell you this. It’s something I haven’t really thought out yet and I need to decide on whether or not I’m going to go through with it. When do you plan on leaving?”
“I-I was thinking in 3 days’ time but I can stay longer if---”
“No, no, that’s plenty of time, I should have a decision by then. It’s just…” Bris pushed back his hair and exhaled. “This is an important matter I have to think on and consider fully before I do something I might regret.”
“No, I understand. I’m just more worried if this has anything to do with the business we were discussing.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that, we’re fine on that front. This is separate from that.”
He silently let out a sigh of relief. Whatever this thing Bris had to mull over was, it was comforting to know it had nothing to do with him. Still, he was curious on what Bris needed to tell him. It did, however, remind him of when Lianthorne tried to bribe him with Ven’s safety and he hoped this wasn’t going to go that route. A life should never be used as a bargaining chip.
“Anyway--” he sat back in his chair-- “when I’ve decided on telling you, I’ll send Aissyl out to come get you. Moving on from that, you have any plans for today?”
Putting the matter to rest for now, he replied, “Uh, no, I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Do you want a tour of Thornewind then?” Bris asked, standing up from his desk to stretch. “Ferreth said you seemed taken in by everything when he stumbled upon you yesterday.”
They must’ve met back up after dropping him off at the inn. He cringed at the idea of what that might’ve looked like to a stranger. “Well, Thornewind is a beautiful town so it’s no surprise I got sidetracked.”
“Then it’s settled, I’ll go get Aissyl.” He started walking around the desk and out towards the threshold of the room.
Following right behind him, he said hurriedly, “Y-you don’t have to do that! I don’t want to take her away from her duties and---”
“She should be getting back from running errands right about now so…”
It was when he tried to stop Bris from going out Aissyl walked in. All he could do was stand there awkwardly as the situation was explained to her, wishing he was anywhere but there right now. She said she had plans for the day, granting him some temporary relief before she pulled the rug out from under him by suggesting Ferreth to be his escort. With Bris’s agreement all but sealing the deal, he was left sitting on the stoop outside while Aissyl went to retrieve Ferreth.
A heavy sigh escaped his mouth as he leaned back to watch the sky. In his attempts to not cause trouble for one person, he might’ve led some to another one’s doorstep. He could only hope he wasn’t hanging Ferreth out to dry with a client of his. Although, he was admittedly looking forward to spending more time with him today. He enjoyed his company yesterday so this might be considered a blessing.
Eventually, Aissyl arrived with Ferreth in tow. They didn’t seem displeased at first glance but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. Maybe it was better to err on the side of caution and only let his guard down when everything was all right. He could never be too careful.
He walked down the stairs, gripping the strap of his bag tightly in his hands. The knot of anxiety returned with a vengeance as his heart hammered against his ribs. Just keep calm and breathe, he repeated like a mantra in his head.
“I’ll be leaving Lord Travere in your hands,” he heard Aissyl say before bowing and taking her leave, wincing at her referring to him as lord. He knew she was being polite, he just hated being called by formal titles.
Ferreth, blissfully ignorant to his unease, said in a joking manner, “Well, I certainly wasn’t expecting to be seeing you again so soon after yesterday. You miss me?”
“Listen, I’m so sorry about all this,” the words spilled out as he continued, “if I’m taking up any of your time, I’ll just go back to the inn and---”
“Eric.” Hearing his name startled him some. “It’s fine, all right? As you guessed yesterday, my work allows me lots of free time and I’m choosing to spend some of that free time with you. So don’t worry about it, okay?”
Doing the exact opposite of that, he shakily replied with, “I’ll try my best not to.”
He turned away from him and cupped his hands over his mouth, trying to steady his breathing. He had to just ride it out, let the anxiety ebb. In the meantime, he needed to distract himself with something to slow his mind down.
Seeing this, Ferreth clapped his hands together and asked, “You wanted a tour, right?”
Thank god for convenient timing. “Yeah, Bris suggested it after we finished our discussion and that’d be really great right now.” A helpful distraction, indeed. “Where should we go first?”
“How about the tulip fields?”
“That’s perfect. Shall we go, then?”
They began walking down the street he now recognized as the main road. Eric slowly calmed himself the further away he was from Bris’ house, his mind beginning to feel at ease the more he put it to work at enjoying the tour. Now he might be able to hold a steady conversation.
“So how it’d go with Bris?” Ferreth asked as they approached the middle of town.
“Oh, it went great!” he replied happily. “I am pleased to inform you that Aurora Zenith and Thornewind are now officially allies.”
“I knew it’d go over smoothly. So what does being allies entail, exactly?”
“Oh, well…” He racked his brain for a way to explain things without giving much away. “Say, for example, a disaster were to strike Thornewind. It’d be my duty as Aurora Zenith’s lord to send aid over right away and the same would apply to both Bris and Lianthorne---Brinegarde’s lord---if it were reversed. You’d have to ask Bris if you want to learn more about it.”
“Nah, I’m good. I’m not really interested in all that political crap.”
“I share the same sentiment but I have to be if I want to succeed at my job.”
“Then why enter that line of work?”
“Let’s just say I didn’t have much choice in the matter. I stepped up to take the position but only because I had the qualifications for it. At least I’m putting the skills I learned in my childhood to good use.”
“You have my condolences.”
He snorted in laughter at that. The rest of the trip consisted of them engaging in meaningless small talk that felt like it went on for hours. He was beginning to wonder if he had made a friend in Ferreth. It was easy to see why; he was laid-back, funny, and could find ways to keep the conversation going when he couldn’t. This was different from when he befriended Ven. While he extended a kind hand out that ultimately led to their friendship, this was two like-minded individuals coming together and just bonding over their shared interests. Maybe Alek was right in that he changed from the person he was two years ago into someone better. He smiled at the thought.
A quick visit to the stable to see Asha later and they were out. The tulips were just as stunning as they were when he walked through the fields yesterday. A sea of rainbow swayed in the gentle breeze and his breath was stolen from him once more. He was definitely going to sketch this place sometime in the near future. This was too beautiful for him to pass up.
“A nice sight, isn’t it?” Ferreth asked, throwing his head back to let the wind ruffle his hair. “Just feel that breeze.”
“Yeah, it is quite pleasant.” That was when he remembered his question from yesterday. “Oh, I was wondering, how are the tulips still in bloom this late into summer? I mean, I’m not a botanist or anything but my friend once told me they only bloomed in the spring.”
“Unfortunately for you, I don’t know the answer to that.” He began walking down one of the many dirt paths crisscrossing the massive garden. “You’ll have to ask someone who’s lived here their whole life that question.”
Taken aback by his reply, he followed after and said, “Wait, you’re not from Thornewind?”
“Nope. I’m from a little town called Thesriden that may as well be on the other side of the world. I came to Thornewind just before my 18th birthday.”
“Then forgive me if I’m prying a bit but why come all the way out here? It must’ve been a long trip if it’s as far as I’m imagining it to be.”
Ferreth let out a heavy sigh, no doubt wanting to say as little as possible. “Let’s just say I ran away from home due to some familial issues and I remembered Bris saying he planned on coming here after moving out so I followed him. Welcomed me with open arms and I’ve stayed ever since.”
There was a bitter smile on Ferreth’s face while saying all that. He didn’t need any elaboration to understand where he was coming from. They were more alike than he thought, right down to leaving behind the place they called home for so long because of family. No wonder he held Bris up to such high regard.
In an attempt to lighten the mood, he changed topics to, “Anyway, these tulips really are beautiful. I think my friend would love it here.”
“Well, hey, we’re always welcoming new visitors,” Ferreth said in a brighter tone. “Maybe when you go back home, you can tell him to come up here sometime.”
“I’m not sure if she’d be able to, what with her shyness and all…” The memory of Ven cowering from a crowd of people surrounding her popped into his head and he breathed out. No way was she going to travel all the way up here by herself, especially with how she looked. If Vlixeoxs were barely tolerated in places like Brinegarde and Aurora Zenith, Thornewind would be no different.
“I can help her out when she gets here,” Ferreth suggested. It’s not like he hasn’t been of great importance to him throughout his entire visit so far. So long as he didn’t flirt with her, then maybe…
“If she comes here, I’m holding you to that.” Ven was his friend and he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if anything happened to her. Of course he knew she could take care of herself but he still worried.
“So, shall we move on with the rest of the tour?”
“Sure. We have all day, right?”
So they continued on for the rest of the afternoon. He was shown the local businesses, parks, and occasional oddity Thornewind had to offer. Ferreth even made it a point to tell him of the best taverns to drink at, which he found nice but unnecessary. He wasn’t one to drink and, even if he were, most alcohol never appealed to him. Once the sky began to darken, they decided it was best to wrap up the tour. If Ferreth ever wanted to change his line of work, he’d be damn good at being a guide.
As they were walking back to the Dravitae Inn, Eric remembered his earlier conversation with Bris. An important matter, huh? Maybe Ferreth knew something about what Bris could be hiding from him. After all, they were very close so the possibility was there, he just had to ask.
“Hey, Ferreth, is Bris normally the secretive type?” He studied his face, trying to gauge what his reaction would be.
Confusion was the best way to describe his expression when Ferreth asked, “No, he’s never been one to keep secrets. Why?”
“After we had finished our discussion, he mentioned having something important he wanted to talk with me about. I was wondering if you knew anything of it but I guess not.”
“Yeah, I don’t know anything about this. He didn’t seem bothered at all last night so I wonder what’s going on.”
That wasn’t what he expected or wanted to hear. If even Ferreth had no idea of this, then it really was a waiting game he’d have to play until it was time. Patience was a virtue he had a love/hate relationship with. On matters like this, it was his worst enemy and he had no choice but to deal with it.
“I’ll see him tonight and ask what’s up, it’s just not like Bris to keep secrets,” said Ferreth.
“Don’t do that, I’m sure he’ll tell me when he thinks it’s time.” He saw him open his mouth to say something then shut it. “For now, I’ll have to wait.”
They arrived at the inn just as the lights were turning on. Until the time Bris sent for him came, he planned on enjoying the rest of his trip here. He already had an idea of what he wanted to do tomorrow when---
“Hey, Eric, you have any plans for tomorrow?” Ferreth’s voice jolted him out of his thoughts.
“Well, I was thinking about going on up to the overlook I saw while we were at the tulip fields earlier and possibly sketch Thornewind from up there,” he replied, realizing where this was going. “Why?”
“You mind me tagging along?” Yep, that’s what he thought.
“No, but won’t it interfere with work?”
“Eric, I go to work whenever it calls me. Besides, if it was serious enough, they can just come find me so it’ll be fine.”
He gave it a moment of deliberation before answering with, “…Okay but if you get into trouble because you were too busy hanging out with me, you’ll only have yourself to blame.”
“Come on, people love me, I bet I could get myself out of it by saying a few sweet words,” he replied with an amused grin. “I’m very charming, you know.”
It was so hard to hate him sometimes. Even when he’d say things that’d normally rub him the wrong way, Ferreth made them have the opposite effect. He was right in that people loved him and Eric wasn’t an exception.
After they parted ways for the day, he climbed up to his room, sat on his bed, and let out a weary sigh. Today was another exhausting yet fun day. He managed to accomplish his goal for being here, went on a sightseeing tour in Thornewind, and spent some quality bonding time with Ferreth. Tomorrow was a day he could kick back, relax, and enjoy the peace it’d bring.
Speaking of which, he reached into his bag and pulled out his sketchbook. Flipping through the pages revealed many works in progress that he never planned on finishing, ranging from messy outlines to slightly cleaner sketches. His subjects were mainly of landscapes, though there were the occasional drawings of Alek during the rare times he’d actually sit and stay down. He’d been honing his craft since he was a child and the years of practice gave him the ability to turn out something truly remarkable. However, this was only a hobby he was passionate about. Nothing more, nothing less.
Eventually, he found a blank page and folded the corners inwards. It was to bookmark which page he wanted to use for the Thornewind sketch tomorrow. Then he put the sketchbook back inside his bag, patting it once for the heck of it. Everything was in there, he was sure of it.
Today was when he built a foundation in more ways than one. Tomorrow would be him strengthening the one he started on with Ferreth. Let it bear fruit so he may savor it in commemoration of this trip.
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catch up!
tagged by the mightiest of megs @megthemighty ily queen <3
Three Ships: royai (yeah its been 6 months since i watched fmab, no i am still not over them, no i will never be over them), zelink (all zelinks good but im thinking esp about botw zelink), iwaoi (watched haikyuu a few weeks ago and WOW iwaoi brainrot is real. its about the *pinching fingers emoji* childhood best friends, also i love it when one person is a clown (oikawa) and the other is level-headed (iwaizumi), it’s a great dynamic)
Last Song I Listened To: alsdjfhaskljdf magic by one direction, idk why but its been popping up a lot on tiktok lately and hearing it transported me back to middle school and nostalgia etc etc anyway magic is lowkey a BANGER
Currently Watching: the fate: winx saga on netflix akljdflakjsdf i watched winx club when i was a kid and i LOVED IT and then i saw that there was going to be an edgy gritty darker teen reboot of winx club and i was like “this is going to be a disaster, i have to watch it” so im currently hate watching it with my roommates and it is, in fact, a disaster. no teenager acts like whatever the fuck they’re doing in the show (”i saw you creeping on my insta last night” is a real quote from the show), and also kind of fucked up that they white-washed 2 characters and removed one, also added an unnecessary love triangle and girls hating each other for no reason but WHATEVER!!! at least its funny. also i started watching jujutsu kaisen a lil while ago and its so fun! v engaging and funny and also sad, pog/10 anime
Currently Reading: These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong! its like a romeo and juliet retelling set in 1920s shanghai and im loving it!!! 1. bc its set in china 2. its fucking??? childhood friends (ish) to lovers to exes and enemies (and then probably back to lovers!!!) 3. the cais and montagovs are rival gangs??? how cool is that??? also reading Women of the Fertile Crescent bc i started like 1289761283 different poetry anthologies last fall but have been going back and forth between them so im trying to focus on one poetry anthology before i go onto another one. and yeah, women of the fertile crescent fucks, the poems are so beautiful, pog/10 again
How’s it going? hahaha at the risk of oversharing on the internet (which no one has ever done on the internet before im sure, least of all me), the semester’s starting to creep up on me more and more and ive been getting more anxious, like im starting to fall back into the old habits last semester that made me a cold, nervous, constantly nauseous never-ending working machine, but at least i recognize them this time!!! so i can halt them before they sink their shitty little claws into my brain, and im trying to pick apart my mindset and stop the thought processes that tell me im always running out of time, and im also trying to remind myself that i objectively do have enough time for things and i will get things done even if im not thinking about them 24/7 akjdhfklajsdf i mean i also had a midterm last week which sucked ass and probably contributed to these feelings, but i dont have another midterm until the next 2 weeks! so im trying to relax for now and enjoy my time in the present :)
tagging @firewoodfigs @meridianheroine @notkorras @tophbeifong and anyone else who wants to join in! absolutely no pressure :)
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Aaaaaaaaaa I’m really happy you liked reading it, thank you @mare-sanguis 🫠💚 It’s nice discussing over a shared brainrot interest like that, tumblr is a really nice platform to do that!
What an interesting observation OP :C Good luck for your latin assignments! I’m looking forward to your research if you have time adding on to this post! In the meantime, I reblogged your post (my answer got once again too long haha)!!
Interpretations are personal, the drama itself introduced religious imagery with LMS & KMC and adds lots of hidden details, so I think it’s safe to further explore symbolism like that!
Even in ep. 8’s preview, No. 1 Fan’s letters were filled with a religious lexicon (if it’s brought up in detail in this episode, I’ll talk about it in the next post!)!
TKV also highlights a lot the theme of legitimacy of judgment!
(Ngl I paid attention to KMC’s hands at first to see if there were some suspicious hints about his injuries or how he handled guns & knives because series sometimes foreshadow twists in the most random details and it comes back to the audience later on!)
KMC definitely looks ambidextrous (provided it’s a deliberate direction when shooting the drama and not the actor’s habits)! For posterity, if it is brought up later in the drama:
-> KMC’s left hand:
is dominant on his gun as he chases after KSJ in the flashback (ep. 1 & 4) and is used as a support when he climbed the gates to KSJ’s house & jumped down the stairs to catch JJW (ep. 3)
in the streaming site eg. when he fights, plants evidence, uses his phone and drives (ep. 1)
when he throws a rock at BGC’s car and at the CCTV to beat up BGC (ep. 1)
when he uses a lighter to threaten the bar waiter (ep. 2)
is always the one that gets injured (ep. 1 when he punched BGC & ep. 4 after the bombing)
when he uses the tablet even though he’s injured on that hand (ep. 3)
when he drinks an energy drink as Joohyun analyzes the letters (ep. 4)
when he comes closer to KSJ and puts his hand on his left shoulder (ep. 6 & 7) and as he reached out his hand to KSJ’s left arm to draw his attention in the flashback (ep. 7)
-> KMC’s right hand:
is dominant on his gun when he stops JJW (ep. 6)
when he threatens the bar waiter with the broom (ep. 2)
when he uses his phone sometimes
as he marks the 2nd killing vote’s date on his calendar (ep. 2)
when he throws the paperknife at JJW (ep. 3)
when he drinks beer with Joohyun (ep. 4)
As for other characters:
-> Kwon Seokju uses his right hand when he drinks the mug (ep. 7), carries the umbrella (ep. 4 & when he first met Jihoon in ep. 7) and signs LYS’s book (ep. 7), as he highlights the warden’s divorce case and drinks tea (ep. 2) and when he stabbed BWT (ep. 1 & 3)
-> Gaetal is also right-handed when they smash the red mug (ep. 4)
-> Lee Minsu has his ring on his right hand and also drinks right-handed (in every episode) ; his overall gestures are right-handed too ; he beats the actress with the mug in his right hand (ep. 4) and is seen scarring the forehead of BGC’s wife with his right hand (ep. 6) ; he wore his watch on his left hand and as Min Jiyoung, he touches his earlobe with his left hand (ep. 4)
-> Jihoon uses his right hand when he uses his tablet (ep. 3)
-> Joohyun is mostly right-handed, so is JJW
-> Gaetal in ep. 1 is mostly right-handed & BGC’s executor (provided it’s JJW) suffocated him with their right hand ; they rotated on their chair from their left to their right to watch the screen
-> Gaetal’s gestures in ep. 2 were equally right and left-handed ; they rotated on their chair from their right to their left to watch the screen
Have a nice week and here’s to ep. 8 finally airing haha 🍻 🌼
The Killing Vote (ep. 7 notes)
The Killing Vote (ep. 1-5 notes) The Killing Vote (ep. 6 & overall notes) The Killing Vote: more on Joohyun, Kwon Seokju & Kim Muchan
I don’t know if you saw, but they announced episode 8 will be out next week on October 5th……….. After THIS preview no less, you’ve got to be kidding me aaaaaaaa (PД`q。 ) ·。 ' ゜
This got again really long, sorry again!!!!
Have a nice week!
(SPOILERS UP TO EPISODE 7!!!!)
Let Jihoon, Joomin, Joohyun, KMC & KSJ get their happy found family ending (இ﹏இ`。) Put them in a slice of life, far far away from this noir genre plsssssss
I appreciated the fact that no explicit violence (except when BWT was beaten up by Min Jiyoung's family & KMC) was shown on screen ie. for Narae nor her dog ; the violence implied from all the scenes were more than enough already (eg. the video on KSJ ; the audio recording Narae’s voice)... ! And by the way, Park Sungwoong's acting in this episode!!!!!! I also loved how KMC’s character was shown trying to maintain a composure/restraint (his voice damn) in front of KSJ’s grief.
And the Jihoon & Joohyun scenes were GREAT!! Joohyun sounds like that sister you can naturally rely on!
(She needs to live, you hear me?!)
(Don’t read the new OST’s lyrics you are warned haha, it was beautifully played for Jihoon’s scene and the lyrics could also very well apply to KMC & KSJ in KMC’s pov!)
♦ September 15, 2015 (Lrae091515)
Narae disappeared on September 15, 2015… Just like how the video test is titled!
OH and something I missed!!! In the first post I mentioned the video test title, I wondered if it could refer to both Narae and Dies Irae (since Mozart’s Requiem was played in ep4):
As for the ‘Lrae’… It could be a wild WILD guess but ‘Lrae’ could be ‘irae’ as in Dies Irae/day of wrath (capital i looks like a lowercase L), which is a sequence in Requiem mass!
But the capital L could also stand for the korean letter ᄂ/니은 (nieun), which is the first letter for Narae/나래. Added to the ‘rae’, it gives ‘Narae091515’.
♦ The items in LMS’s room & his ring
Some of the items that were in the display case in LMS’s hidden room were revealed in this episode (from left to right):
KSJ’s suitcase
KSJ’s book he signed for LMS
KSJ’s mug, which is seen carried in the present by:
Jihoon (we only see him retrieve it from the deliveryman)
LMS (a whole collection)
This Gaetal in ep4 with this particular red mug when they rage as the public opinion is shaken because KMC was believed to be dead.
The picture with Narae seems to have been taken the day of the conference shown at the beginning of the episode. LMS probably stole the picture because it was a significant day to him ie. when he met KSJ in person.
Also, about the ring, LMS had it even in the flashbacks (picture to the right). Could it be some device to send him a reminder to take his medicine?
♦ More on shame
Something I wanted to add to what I said in a previous post (‘On the frames facing down (ep. 1 & 6), shame and guilt’): when KSJ visited his house in the present thanks to Joohyun, he only dusted off Narae’s picture to face her stuffed bunny.
Ep7 showed the other frame was a picture of KSJ and her, so it could show how he still strongly feels he failed her as her father:
♦ Narae, Joomin and Jihoon
FINALLY a bittersweet but hopeful? (I don’t care if it’s wishful thinking, let me hope okay ;;) parallel that’s clearly the opposite of ep4 & 6’s framing, the new OST (Aalia, Blue) was a perfect addition, it was soothing:
♦ The third person meeting with Narae and KSJ
(1) « She »
At the beginning of the episode, Narae met KSJ and said a ‘she’ couldn’t join them for dinner according to the subtitle translation when I watched.
(I’m unfortunately not able to watch on Prime, so I’m not sure if it’s fansubs or the Prime translation ; I wanted to use my free trial to watch the drama and other series, but it’s region-locked in my country and I don’t have a VPN ;;)
The gendered pronoun is an addition of the translation as the original exchange omitted any indication on the subject.
Most of the time [in Korean] the subject is implied, and you would rather address someone by their title or name (with an honorific if need be) depending on your relationship eg. Joohyun calls KMC 팀장님/team leader and KSJ 교수님/professor, Joomin calls her sister 언니/big sister. Note: but it can also be used by a female speaker for an older woman she’s close to eg. a friend, a girlfriend (like 형 = younger man -> older man ; 오빠 = younger woman -> older man or 누나 = younger man -> older woman).
This is how Narae and KSJ’s conversation went:
« — 왜 혼자 왔어? / Why did you come alone? — 또 먼저 갔지. 오늘도 할일이 엄청 또 많대. / [They] left early again. [They] said [they] had a lot of things to do today too. — 셋이 같이 저녁을 먹을랬는데. (…) / I’d hoped the three of us could have dinner together. »
Nothing in this exchange hints at the identity of the person that accompanied Narae. KSJ only mentions the three of them (셋이), nothing else.
(Of course, translating this exchange could be really tricky because it’s about a context that only Narae and KSJ are privy of and we’re unfamiliar to, how to introduce a character we potentially know nothing of?)
But the conversation shows:
— That person usually accompanied Narae to see her father (and probably picked her up from school first & walked the dog together) ; that explains why the subject is omitted in the conversation because it’s implied from their daily life.
— They sounded like an adult habitually swamped with what looks like a usually time-consuming work (which excludes Jihoon)
— They seemed close enough to both Narae & KSJ (who jokingly says it’ll be a father-daughter date if they don’t come), dinner with them sounded customary.
— We know it couldn’t be about KSJ’s ‘late wife’ as Min Jiyoung comments ‘It must be hard for him to raise a girl by himself’ as they’re driving home from the conference.
— It has been highlighted twice already how hard, to society/KSJ’s surroundings, raising a girl by himself must be: first with Min Jiyoung’s housekeeper in ep5 (‘They felt sorry for me for raising my daughter alone, so they would share food with me sometimes.’), then Min Jiyoung herself in ep7. Whoever that was, this person also might've helped KSJ to raise Narae unbeknownst to everyone else.
So it was supposed to be someone close to the two of them.
(2) Kim Muchan?
In the same episode, when KMC said Choi Jinsu knew what kind of relationship he had with KSJ, CJS later described it as a ‘close relationship’ (가까은 사이), the same adjective KSJ uses to describe KMC in the present (see in a previous post the notes on 가깝다).
KMC is also the one shown in the very next scenes working hard to bust drug scenes (to the point of eating those painkillers like it’s popcorn). It’s also highly likely the other cases we saw on the news were also recklessly solved by him. (Also the ‘Lives Here.’ on the mirror is a fitting detail to his workaholic side!)
He's still the same in the present and brings work at home. Even though he gets around the law to arrest culprits, the reputation he has now can also attest to the fact he’s still relentlessly absorbed by his work.
This was indeed how Jodan described KMC to Joohyun:
« (…) aka. Wipeout. Pressuring criminals to admit more crimes. Making a case bigger to take more credit. He somehow makes cases into special ones. That’s how he made his way up to Seoul from the south. The master of promotions. (…) Based on his arrest rate, he should be at the top, but those up there must hate him. »
And KMC was close enough to KSJ and Narae to firmly believe Narae would never run away from home, like family would say ; KSJ was the only person he trusted and looked up to.
Not to mention KSJ was completely tensed as Choi Jinsu interrogated him but relaxed once KMC took over, letting out a sigh of relief and dropping his guard to cry.
EDIT: KMC also knew calling KSJ 'hyung' instead of 'Professor' would eventually make him react, as he was lifeless and caught in his thoughts so far.
(3) How long did KMC know KSJ?
KSJ began teaching at KNPU in 2008, which means KMC and him must’ve known each other for at least 7+ years (it’d be 15+ years in the present): ‘Have you forgotten? I said I’d be your number one fan. I said that at your first lecture at KNPU.’
Also KSJ is 44 years old btw, I missed that detail in ep4 when KMC checked his files!
♦ Relationships conveyed through pictures
It’s interesting how the drama keeps highlighting the importance of KSJ and KMC’s relationship, but there’s (yet) no picture to materialize this truth in people’s eyes, while the other significant relationships are framed in the drama:
-> Joohyun’s family portrait and a picture of Joohyun and Joomin in the present.
-> KMC picture with someone who might be his mother.
-> Many pictures of KSJ and Narae filled the house’s walls and the furniture and there was a picture of Narae and Jihoon with the handmade bunny toys hanging on their backpack.
And even though nobody might’ve heard of KSJ adopting Jihoon soon at the time (except KMC), he was present in Narae’s drawings by her and KSJ’s side. And he also drew the three of them together.
-> Min Jiyoung’s family portrait was ostentatiously exhibited in the past & is still used to build her image for her campaign. But there’s also a small portrait with only her and LMS at her apartment in the present.
KSJ and KMC’s relationship evades common portrayal. (Not to mention family portraits are often shown in dramas to foreshadow underlying dynamics between its members!)
The only picture we were shown of them was on the day KSJ was sent to prison:
♦ KSJ’s health and military service
On KSJ’s resume (first picture), you can see he was exempted of military duty.
Indeed, what’s written on the left column under his military status is 미필 (incompletion, if he had been discharged after completing his military duty, it would be written 군필), and the rank and service term columns are empty.
I can’t quite make out everything that’s under the last column for the reason of incompletion, but I read 기형 (deformity), 친환 (one’s parent illness) and 변재 (accident) … ?
However what we learned when KMC checked his medical files in ep4 (third picture) was that he’s got asthma (천식) and primary spontaneous pneumothorax (일차성 자연기흉) ie. occurring without an apparent cause when there’s originally no known lung disease while there’s a preexisting lung disease when it’s secondary.
« Until now the cause of primary spontaneous pneumothorax (PSP) has not been identified, however; several risk factors have been identified such as; smoking, male sex, and a family history of pneumothorax ».
So he was probably exempted due to his long-time health issue (asthma, lung collapse), and maybe KSJ’s family had a history of pneumothorax.
♦ Who is Gaetal?
Is LMS really Gaetal? Are Fan no. 1 & Gaetal different people?
As I said in a previous post, the drama plays with the bias that everything must’ve been done by the same individual/a same group with the same intentions, so it’s possible:
Gaetal in the video test
Gaetal in the prerecorded votes, at least the first one (because the tone, gesture and expressions seemed different compared to the two next votes)
Gaetal broadcasted live (for Cpt. Oh’s vote)
Fan no. 1 who wrote the letters to KSJ
Fan no. 1 JJW said he was working with who described KSJ as the one they admired the most but also said they destroyed the person he loved the most, so he must hate them
Are different people in some cases, meaning:
— The ‘Fan no. 1’ Jung Jinwook worked with might not be LMS, since they never met each other
— It could be Jihoon, or at the very least, he’s an accomplice (there’s this exchange with Joohyun about the shift from an accessory to an accomplice, it could be foreshadowing). He’s well-versed in hacking, he most likely ‘admired’ KSJ and feels guilty over Narae’s death (and probably over BWT’s murder by KSJ), as KSJ said to KMC:
« — [Narae and Jihoon] were supposed to meet that day. — Yes, he thinks all of this happened because he was late. He’s still in shock. »
(He could’ve been the one to have faced Narae’s picture down!)
We don’t know his whereabouts for these 8 years but he must’ve been in contact with KSJ at least once since what happened and given KSJ’s reaction when KMC asked him if he contacted him.
Also Jihoon was definitely searching for KSJ before Joohyun interrupted him when he was at the Police Agency at the end of the episode.
He looked like he definitely knew the content of the ‘video test’ too (or recognized the room), he seemed dumbfounded to learn Joomin found it in ep3:
Determined to help, a part of him could’ve held KMC guilty of the chain of events 8 years ago. KSJ entrusted his handmade bunny toy to KMC and said:
« He said he made them himself, so there are only two of them. Whoever has Narae’s is the murderer, so he told me to use this to catch him. He left this with me. I’m counting on you. »
And KSJ must have some part in whatever is happening now with the Killing Vote: after all, we never got the reason KSJ went out of prison in ep4 (‘If they find out what I did instead of performing labor, they might believe the suspicions are true.’).
-> This scene in ep3 (the first set of pictures on the left): of course this shows his relief because he still cares for KMC but it seemed like he somehow already knew for a fact KMC was out of danger, even before the janitor said he was barely hanging on and not off the hook at all.
— This was even before the video of KMC was revealed to the public in the next episode ;
— The present Gaetal might have informed him in advance a police officer got involved in the bombing against their will, without revealing it was KMC. This would explain why KSJ seemed genuinely surprised when the janitor said it was KMC (the last two pictures of the set) ;
— Someone else could have informed him even if it seems difficult from the prison (but we know he got lots of privileges there and we still don’t know what he did for the warden ; the visit register could have been fabricated and someone indeed met him) ;
— It’s worth pointing out KSJ was convinced KMC was Gaetal up until ep6, which adds another layer to this scene.
-> His reaction in ep5 was also curious (the second set of pictures on the right), he only got perplexed for the video test, as though he was well-acquainted with the rest of whatever was going on except for that one detail (which adds to the theory that Gaetal in the video test ≠ Gaetal in the Killing Vote/Fan no. 1).
Curiously, as I said just above, while KSJ seemed unaware of the video test's existence, Jihoon looked familiar with its content on the contrary.
KSJ never outright denied he was Gaetal eg. his interview with Joohyun in ep2:
« — ‘Devils who were deemed innocent.’ The phrase that the killer used… You were the first one to say it, weren’t you? I think the killer has something to do with you. — The two people who used the same phrase must be connected. That’s such a naive approach. »
Ep6 only showed KSJ hoped KMC was Gaetal.
And you wouldn’t say KMC’s ‘I’m a cop.’ is a real answer too. Hate to admit it, but KMC stayed silent when KSJ wanted to confirm he was sincere: his feelings might be genuine, but denying he’s Gaetal could very well be a lie.
As for KMC’s front ie. keeping silent when asked about his relationship with KSJ, I guess it comes from his determination to solve all this by his own hands this time: he knows they would take him off the case otherwise. (And for some reason, I can’t help but also suspect Joohyun aaaaa we still don’t know anything about her past!!)
KMC or KSJ, one of the two might be related somehow ; if so, I guess they’d be trying to plan something without the other knowing in order not to involve them and also because the other would disapprove (eg. KSJ to put an end to KMC’s guilt ; KMC to offer some peace to KSJ after all the tragedy and his past mistakes).
— Plus, the Gaetal of the first vote sounded suspiciously like KSJ (his silhouette and gait too) eg. t h a t tremulous voice when he gets angry (the actor plays a lot with that in his roles overall).
— The first vote was prepared from a redevelopment area and BGC was murdered there (pictures on the right).
In ep7, in addition to the video accusing KSJ of being dubious and the witness statement, Narae being found in a redevelopment area was what made the police suspect KSJ of murdering her, since he was known for standing up against said building’s demolition:
« You’d been to the place where the body was found, right? Don’t even think about lying. We know you protested against demolishing that building. »
(Even before Joohyun showed him the Gaetal video test, KMC must’ve had his suspicions from BGC’s murder scene and the broadcast after the body was found eg. recognizing KSJ’s tone, 'the devils deemed innocent' or the ‘rational justice’!)
Narae might’ve been found in the lower part of the building BGC’s vote was prepared in: even though the first story doors were repainted in red and handrails were added to the bridge, the overall architecture and the sort of electricity meter/letter box on the ground floor look the same.
And even without it being the same building, it holds enough resemblance for it to seem like a disturbing recall of the events 8 years ago, combined with Gaetal’s keywords.
— LMS could’ve killed BGC’s wife as Gaetal's copycat at first but that still wouldn’t explain his involvement to the Killing Vote, saying he would give it to his mother as a present.
(But his conversation with KMC when he interviewed him in the present really gave me the impression he knew something about KMC we were not shown, and that could foreshadow what'll happen in the next episode!)
— About LMS’s true perception of justice: we never got to hear his opinion, Narae came running to her father and KSJ interrupted the conversation. So far, the drama didn’t show if his ideals align with Gaetal’s for example, but some elements in the flashbacks clearly show it could be the case.
In fact, his notes about ‘proper justice’ could align with Gaetal’s concept of vigilantism to make up for a failing official retributive justice.
And his ‘If you pass judgment without looking at things clearly, it’s not being fair. It’s being indifferent.’ clearly parallels KSJ’s opinion in the present (ep6):
« Lady Justice wears a blindfold because she’s afraid of bias in decisions. That always bothered me. If you don’t look at cases and the people involved clearly, how can one pass fair judgment? Can judgments without experience be right? Only after losing my daughter did I realize I was qualified to judge others. »
KSJ’s past self would’ve been moderate and warned him however: ‘Relying solely on your experiences can also lead to bias. Experiences are gained through situations and conflicts. They can’t be absolute truths.’
But this detail is something KMC doesn’t know, he instead focuses on LMS’s elitism because he didn’t have those kinds of exchanges with him.
♦ ‘No. 1 Fan’ & LMS
So…………………… You mean to tell me « No. 1 Fan » was originally a memory both KSJ and KMC held dear? That LMS chose this very nickname as a penname for the 5 whole years he sent letters to KSJ? That LMS described KSJ to JJW as the man he admired the most, just like KMC said in that exchange.......... ?
There’s literally no way in hell LMS didn’t listen KMC and KSJ’s conversation ; « no. 1 Fan » could be common in any other cases but not in this one: LMS made everyone around KSJ gone from the picture, it wouldn’t surprise me KMC was/is meant to be the next (LMS even describes him as a ‘cockroach’ hard to kill in ep5).
As to how he got to learn all that, bugging one of the two’s communications/belongings/Narae’s room (eg. that ‘My Daddy My Hero’ seems to be the only thing taken from the house, or the device Jodan found in the ceiling, as it’s totally covered with dust) or even hiding in KSJ’s house that day and listening to their exchange wouldn’t be that surprising given what he did and how he seems to enjoy playing recklessly.
What Jodan found looks like the kind of device that transmits frequencies to another device (eg. cell phone, a recorder prepared to this end).
In this episode, we saw LMS watched everything among the crowd each time (when Narae’s body was found, when KSJ was sent to prison), there could very well be times he watched unnoticed from KMC or KSJ.
I guess he learned about the ‘rational justice’ the same way: he could’ve heard the ‘devils deemed innocent’ from his mother or some other way (eg. if he hacked the court’s archives, he could’ve found the trial transcripts), but ‘rational justice’ was something only KSJ and KMC knew about (at least, at this point of the drama).
Given his obsession for KSJ, LMS could benefit from deliberately using a precious memory that KSJ could only attribute to KMC and posing as KMC: that would finally make him assume a special position in KSJ’s eyes (and it worked: that’s probably why KSJ firmly believed Gaetal and/or the one who wrote him letters was KMC).
And he probably deludes himself into believing it was originally his by right, not Narae’s, not KMC’s nor anyone else’s (I don’t think he knew Jihoon even if he observed the house): he considers himself KSJ’s only entitled Fan no. 1.
At the same time, becoming Gaetal, a figure that would finally bring the justice to KSJ which KMC failed to do, gives him the opportunity to finally ‘judge’/destroy KMC as he wished. Eg. making him the next Killing Vote target by showing people he was deceiving them (his ‘Wipeout’ reputation) ; or distorting facts about his involvement in Narae’s case (just like the video Min Jiyoung/LMS made on KSJ to divert the attention off her son).
And this seems to be the case in the preview:
The screen on the left side of the shot displays an edit of KMC (which looks like those Gaetal did for the previous targets ; the picture seems to come from when the journalists gathered at the prison when they learned he was alive), and if I’m not mistaken you can read on the banner « 속였습니다 » (‘I/He deceived/lied to [the people maybe?]’), which might be a reference to what he said in ep4 where he also used 속였습니다.
♦ « This house had good natural lighting »
Losing Narae left KSJ lifeless. In this episode’s flashback, his profile, livid, is blinded by white light, like a ghost.
Even though he stood in Narae’s room, he was perhaps longing for the house that was already not there anymore and that initially had ‘good natural lighting’, as Joohyun said in ep4. It symbolized all the happiness he shared with Narae.
And KMC could only witness, helpless, KSJ’s grief.
In retrospect, on the second set of pictures to the right, the sight of KSJ’s silhouette in a similar setting and lighting (when KSJ was transferred to the Police Agency, ep5) might’ve reminded KMC of this memory.
The drama highlighted this theme in other previous scenes too. They have in common a silhouette shot in an overall dark setting facing a strong backlighting.
[And you can notice the shots get gradually brighter as the drama progresses and KSJ gets out of prison!]
Joohyun's scene on the top right was so beautifully shot... !
-> When KSJ is transferred to the Police Agency ;
-> When Joohyun interviews KSJ and makes him listen to Mozart’s Requiem in ep4. And also KMC’s reaction we could better understand in retrospect as he listened (the pictures on the bottom right) ;
-> When KSJ enjoyed the light from the prison in ep4 ;
-> When he looked outside from his cell’s window while meditating in the first episode ;
-> When KMC wanted to visit KSJ but he refused to meet him in ep2 (and we can once again better interpret his expressions in retrospect to ep7).
Note: in ep3, KMC’s reaction to the tagged wall (‘the 13th was wrong’) and the news articles about the case from 8 years ago could also now be interpreted as pained in retrospect ; his surprise upon discovering this also shows it’s at least not him who messed the room that way. If he cared for Narae as this episode showed, he probably wouldn’t have damaged her room. It's also maybe relevant to note again that the video test didn't have the tagged wall!
♦ Min Jiyoung’s classism
Whatever Min Jiyoung found on KMC was something she did not approve according to her standards: she went from ‘that detective’ when she first met him to ‘bastard like you/the likes of you’ at the end of the trial.
I get BIG classist undertones when she speaks to him, and it's not the sole occurrence:
-> When she fired her previous aide because he advised her in a way she deemed unsatisfactory, she commented: ‘촌스러운 새끼’ which was translated to ‘What a loser.’ The adjective she used is 촌스럽다 (unpolished, countrified, dowdy ie. « one’s attitude or taste being unsophisticated and looking like that of a country person »).
The Naver Dictionary also gives the expression ‘촌스러운 사람’ and translates it as ‘a lout, rustic, clodhopper, boor’.
새끼 means offspring (cub or child/kid), but it’s often used as an insult to mean someone’s a jerk/bastard/etc. which is the case here (eg. 개새끼, SOB/bastard).
-> The housekeeper: KSJ described her as ‘도우미’ (assistant, helper) and was getting along well with her and her husband (‘They felt sorry for me for raising my daughter alone, so they would share food with me sometimes. (…) Though we didn’t know each other very well, we were quite close.’).
And Min Jiyoung, who lives with her and her family, calls her…… an expense (‘비용’) if I’m hearing well (at the very least, it doesn’t sound like any of the words commonly used for housekeepers eg. 가정부, 도우미, 파출부, 하녀…), and it could explain why KMC made her repeat.
-> She used 너 같은 새끼 to insult KMC (‘bastards like you/the likes of you’), right after calling LMS his son (아들), which could imply the latter qualifies more as a person than him. She even deems him a taint/테인트 threatening to spoil their status/reputation.
-> She said to LMS in ep5: ‘[KMC] must be trying to make ends meet. You better stay away from those vermins.’
And be it a coincidence or not, Jihoon’s grandmother was also judgmental towards Joohyun and her sister (ep4, first set of pictures).
Her reaction to KSJ’s idea (she was taken aback and raised her eyebrow then looked embarrassed as she tried to answer) could also be explained by some distance she wants to put between her and disreputable people (ep6, second set of pictures).
Gaetal targeted the rich so far (‘The law that is more harsh on victims than on criminals… It feeds like a parasite off of money and power, so the ones who deserve to die are still alive.’), like some sort of Robin Hood as KMC commented.
♦ « Hyung »
(breaking my silence once again…) KMC and KSJ were lovers/KMC was in love and they were in their domestic life bubble (and ngl that ‘… [and the one] I look up to.’ delivery with that hesitant interruption felt like a left out confession)
The scene in Narae’s room was paralleled in the present at the end of the episode:
You can notice with this comparison that most (if not all) of KSJ & KMC’s scenes in the present are submerged by blue tones in the prison cell and at the Police Agency, just like in the lyrics of the new OST with the wordplay on the color blue and feeling blue! eg. 눈을 감아보면 I see blue — 그런 너의 모습에 feel so blue (When I close my eyes I see blue — At the sight of you feel so blue) 네게 가려진 난 I see blue — 몰랐던 너의 모습에 feel so blue (I’m covered/obscured by you I see blue — This side of you I didn’t know feel so blue)
♦ Gaetal, masks and dogs
Gaetal could be translated as ‘dog mask’ (개, dog + 탈, mask).
GAETAL AND MASKS
Gaetal’s excentric and playful, Robin Hood-esque character and their theatrics could be a reference to the traditional Korean masks.
« [Korean masks] were used in war, on both soldiers and their horses ; ceremonially, for burial rites in jade and bronze and for shamanistic ceremonies to drive away evil spirits/illness/bad luck out of an individual or a village (often horrifying or grotesque to invoke fear and humor), to remember the faces of great historical figures, and in the arts, particularly in ritual dances, courtly, and theatrical plays. The present uses are as miniature masks for souvenirs, or on phones hung as good-luck talismans. There are two ways to categorize masks: religious masks and artistic masks. »
Indeed, KSJ had a glass display of Korean masks in his house (it’s a limited Seoul 1988 Olympic Games Korean Masks Collection):
Masks are in fact known to be used in talchum/talnori (mask dance/play), an art developed after a cultural shift in society: masks were initially used in religious activities, but entertainment and festivities factored in through time.
« An ensemble of musicians accompanies masked performers who humorously explore social issues through dramatic combinations of cheerful, energetic and rhythmical songs, dances, movements and dialogue. »
They mostly originated from the pre-modern society of the Joseon dynasty. The country was governed by a rigid social hierarchy (eg. the aristocracy and the buddhist monastic hierarchy) and a strict patriarchal system. They sharply criticized contemporary society with satire and witty humour, depicting the falsehoods and hypocrisies of the upper classes (eg. decadent noblemen, apostate/depraved monks, patriarchal husbands) but also mocked stereotypical versions of annoying personalities within the lower classes (eg. the drunkard, the gossip, the flirt of the complaining grandmother). It offered people both catharsis and important life lessons, and masks are a key means to do that.
On the nobleman mask (Master Kim Dongpyo, maker of Hahoetal): « yangban noblemen prioritize dignity and saving face above all else. The gentle curves of a Hahoe yangban mask embody this character. » In other local traditions, noblemens’ masks may express greedy and pretentious personalities.
Talchum offered an opportunity to commoners to unleash their pent-up emotions, their suppressed anger and for the governing class to hear the people’s complaints, ultimately promoting greater unity within society. Their will for resistance is voiced.
Gaetal's apparent intentions correspond to all this to a great extent.
« Once a person dons a mask – men and women, young and old, nobility and commoners – all are freed from social conventions and restrictions. The appearance of the Korea mask itself is also liberated by convention. Nevertheless, everyone manages to find a part of the mask with which they can identify. In this way the mask is truly the face of the heart's hidden desires. (…) Korean masks are grotesque and vividly colored. Masks are painted in vivid primary colors, representing both the individual personality and social class of the character as well as his or her age and gender eg. black & dark for an elderly character ; red & bright for a young character ; white for a young female character. In terms of personality, a red, darkly-colored mask represents recklessness and aggressiveness; a yellow or lightly-colored mask characterizes foolishness and incompetence ; and a black or darkly-colored mask exemplifies an anxious, socially marginalized character. To symbolize a character's duplicity, masks are sometimes painted half red and half white. »
[For posterity, in the drama, Gaetal’s mask is fully white ; we also don’t know Gaetal’s gender, Joohyun evokes this possibility, it could very well be herself, Min Jiyoung or her assistant, even Jihoon’s grandmother ; Min Jiyoung’s attention to her clothes also reflects the good/evil duality with her outfit at BWT’s final trial.]
Professor Heo Yongho, Korea National University of Arts: « Korean mask-dance dramas deal with such universal themes as freedom and equality. However, they present these common subjects in a distinctively dynamic and exciting way. »
All these emotions, ambitions and desires can therefore be put on display without fear or shame. The characters mock and satirize the duplicity and foolishness of the ruling class and pray for a new world and a better future, like Gaetal does in the Killing Vote.
This page even theorizes 탈 derived from the Chinese character for ‘to rid/free oneself from something’.
« Korea adopted Chinese characters prior to the invention of their own, unique alphabet under King Sejong (1397-1450), and still use Chinese characters extensively. Thereby, the original meaning of the talnori or talchum, is a play or dance that helps shed ones stress and grief. Originally talnori was performed at night, often in a clearing around a fire and the exaggerated colors and expressions on some of the masks reflect a time when such vibrant colors and expressions were necessary to make them visible in the poor light. » [This bit could be relevant later on in this point when I’ll talk about the moon and the fire symbolism!]
The interaction with the audience is important, it completes the performance. As the UNESCO page describes: « talchum performances do not require a formal stage: any empty space can become a venue. The audience plays an essential role, contributing to the production with their cheers and jeers as the drama unfolds. »
Talchum players improvise their lines and actions in response to the spectators, quickly forming a bond together.
In a distorted fashion, the Killing Vote seems to strongly rely on the country’s participation to vote for the ‘judgement’ of the culprit, introduced as corrupt and deeply irredeemable people (even though we know the reality is more ambiguous: two broadcasts were pre-recorded and pretty compelling cases were deliberately chose to obtain an unanimous vote, not to mention Gaetal’s true intention eg. if they’re LMS).
The country even becomes an entertained audience in addition to their participation: each vote brings its fair share of debates, cries of support, admiration, disgust, anticipation or emulation. The Killing Vote becomes an outlet to everyone's fears, anger, frustration.
Gaetal's judgment of 'devils that were deemed innocent' by a failing legitimate system which would even condone their deed inflames passions: revealing the culprit's corrupt side in a sarcastic, unfiltered fashion the conventional society would (or could) never dare to do makes people look up to Gaetal.
It also makes people relate to Gaetal because the votes serve as an example that they wish was applied to their own tragedies eg. Joohyun, KSJ, Joomin & Jihoon. Exemplifying the 'judgment' of their cases could be seen as a prophylactic step to 'exorcise' the deep-rooted evil and appease the tormented souls of their victims.
And Gaetal engages with the people with a witty and sarcastic speech, and sounds deeply concerned with people’s opinion (again, it could be false pretenses) eg. when they cautioned sensitive souls to close the video as its content might be too violent ; when they got angry as they read forums after KMC was thought dead ; when they broadcasted the video revealing KMC was alive.
The Killing Vote also seems to touch on people’s duplicity, hidden desires and ambitions in society eg. especially KSJ, KMC, Min Jiyoung, LMS and people’s ambivalence in the face of good and evil (everybody has in them the risk of becoming a ‘Gaetal’ or one of their targets if faced with certain opportunities and circumstances) as I talked about it in a previous post (’The Killing Vote and a vigilantism built on a twisted basis’).
The hahoetal (Hahoe [Village] masks) are one of the most known Korean masks, designated as national treasures.
They were used during a kind of mask dance called 하회별신굿탈놀이, dance drama of Hahoe Village: it’s a shamanic dance drama passed down from the mid-12th century & performed to appease the local deity, pray for the village’s peace and wellbeing as well as a good harvest. It is said to be one of the oldest mask dances known in Korea.
It's a play in satire and humor directed at the ruling class from the religious perspective of praying fortune. The masks represent 12 stock characters needed to perform the roles in the ritual dance dramas included in the ceremony (eg. the monk, the scholar, the bride, the aristocrat …).
Their origin is not clearly known, but a legend about their original design exists.
« In the middle of the Goryeo Dynasty, there lived a craftsman, Heo. For years his village suffered from misfortunes but no one knew why. One day, he dreamt about a mountain god, receiving an oracle message that the misfortunes would disappear if the villagers danced with masks made by Heo. The god said he was not to have any contact with anyone until he finished. Heo then had a straw rope wound around his workshop to allow him to work undisturbed and immediately set to work. One hundred days had passed. A young woman named Kim was in love with Heo and was growing weary of waiting. She broke her vow to leave him undisturbed for one hundred days and peeked into her lover’s workshop to see what he was doing. He was carving the last mask, the scholar's foolish servant, Imae. The moment she glanced inside, Heo collapsed spitting blood and died. The mask was left unfinished, without a chin. Out of guilt for causing his death, the young woman committed suicide. Afterward, the residents of Hahoe village decided to serve the dead woman as a tutelary god and held annual rituals to assuage her soul. »
An annual winter memorial rite is held at dawn of the first full moon of each new year to console their unrealized love, appease their tormented souls and honor them. They would also pray for the well-being of the village and for its protection against evil spirits.
This also seems relevant:
The word 탈 also includes a second meaning of misfortune, illness and difficulty. Eg. when someone becomes sick or runs into trouble, you can use the verb 탈나다 (an accident happens/have a hitch/run into trouble/fall ill/get out of order or go wrong) or the word 탈 which is a homonym of the mask.
« The word for masks represents something that people hope is only a passing event. Interestingly, people were reluctant to hold onto the word 탈 in its meaning of a mask. In the past, they believed that if they kept a mask nearby, they would be in trouble due to the bad luck attached to the mask. Therefore, they stored the masks in a village shrine or burned them immediately after the ritual for which they were created. People regarded masks as religious objects, something that should be feared, worshipped and enshrined. »
But masks were also considered by ancient Koreans as a sacred symbol of the gods (or a particular god): as such, it was especially valued and worshipped, and always kept a certain distance away from living quarters.
In the drama, the mere existence of Gaetal calls for trouble and the police force endeavors to catch them. Gaetal nicknames themselves 'the citizens' watchdog' who will protect them from evil, and is compared to many heroic figures (eg. Robin Hood, Batman, …) but also to God. For example, Jihoon says to Joomin:
« That devil was set free by our incompetent legal system. If he wouldn’t be punished by the law or by God, I thought he should at least be punished by the people. »
The sight of their figure 'should' be feared by the culprits but only Uhm Eungyeong was really scared ; BGC and Cpt. Oh challenged and dared them to actually murder them. But in the end, the latter begged JJW for his life and promised him money, the thing he cared the most for.
This also ties well with the overall Christian symbolism exhibited in LMS’s room or Saint Michael (see the next point!).
GAETAL AND DOGS
As for the dog part, since one of the main plot points is a commentary on justice and the good & evil in people, it might be a reference to the haetae/haechi (해태/해치), a Korean mythological creature often associated for example to the Chinese guardian lions (also called shishi, lion or fu dogs) or the Japanese shishi/komainu.
Symbol of justice and law, the haetae is a hybrid beast: a mix of a lion, dog and dragon covered in scales or fur, wearing a bell and baring its canines, sometimes winged, sometimes with a reptile tail. It possesses the ability to divine and distinguish the true character in people, right from wrong, truth from lies in people.
The horn on its forehead was used to ram into the guilty in an argument.
It is said to feed off fire ; under Joseon, its statues were placed at the entrance of official places like palaces to protect the capital Hanyang (now Seoul, eg. at the National Assembly and the Supreme Prosecutors’ Office) from natural disasters and fires.
« Haetae statues lie on high pedestals at each side of Gwanghwamun, the main gate of Gyeongbokgung Palace (…) [they] represent the Joseon rulers’ political and philosophical ideals of protecting the nation’s dignity by applying the laws strictly and justly and providing peace and stability to all the people without allowing bias or personal feelings to influence decisions. »
This article explains how the Chinese characters for law (법, 法) derived from the ideogram for haechi.
What I gathered from this page is that law was initially written as 灋. Looking at its structure:
— The radical to the left, 氵, is associated to water (水): which means that the law must be as fair as water — The character 去 is placed under the character ‘chi’ 廌, which depicts the haechi. Making a creature said to judge right from wrong a part of the law character brings out its meaning even more.
The character was later simplified by removing the 廌, thus written 法.
[And as I said in a previous post, the hanja 橅, which means law, can be used for the Mu of Muchan!]
The haechi was also closely associated to the Chinese judicial system eg. on decorations and paintings, embroidered on the robes, crowns with a horn. The judicial officers were also named after the haechi.
It has become Seoul’s symbol since 2008.
The haetae is also mainly assimilated to the Chinese xiezhi, a mythical single-horned creature (a sheep, goat or ox) commanded during imperial criminal proceedings to ram into the guilty in the same manner.
Since Gaetal chases after evil, it could also be a reference to a breed of dogs native to the Korean Peninsula, the Sapsali/Sapsalgae.
Their name literally translates to ‘one that roots out evil spirits’ or ‘drives out devils’. Due to their appearance, they’re often associated to the haetae and sometimes called ‘Lion Dogs’.
Lion dances are indeed performed because it was thought lions contained the power to expel evil spirits and bring good luck.
Sapsali are also nicknamed ‘Ghost Hunters’ or’ Sunshine Dogs’.
Some aspects of the drama also involve dogs:
-> Gaetal used a mail address titled ‘watchdog’ that the journalist wanted to use as a catchphrase for her broadcast ;
-> KMC called KSJ their ‘hunting dog’, urging Joohyun to ‘get him off the leash’ ;
-> Narae’s dog LMS killed and all the past dogs of his family ;
-> The scene at the beginning of ep7 shows BWT beaten by Min Jiyoung’s family as his parents watch powerless. The next shot shows the Dalmatian puppy sitting quietly by his neat doghouse as the violent scene continues to unfold before it off-screen. The absence of pictures of BWT’s family in the house unlike the Dalmatian puppy could be interpreted as a further highlight of the family being poorly treated by Min Jiyoung’s family, even worse than a dog. It also aligns with the classist behavior of Min Jiyoung & co.
-> Indeed, 개 is often used as a prefix to an insult (or to emphasize words in slang, but it’s not used in the drama so far eg. 개싫어, ‘[I] freaking/really hate [it]’).
For posterity also, the word ‘mask’ (탈) is also the homonym/paronym of 달 (moon/month) and 딸 (daughter, perhaps a reference to Narae, since the video test seems to be titled after the day she was missing?).
For the 달 (moon/month), the most relevant connection to the Killing Vote is that they’re held every 15th (new moon) and 30th (full moon) of each month. It also ties up with how the talnori/talchum were originally performed at night.
If there’s also some symbolism with the moon, combined to the fire and dogs, the mythical dogs Bulgae (불개, lit. fire dog) might come to mind:
« According to a myth, one of heaven's realms, the kingdom of darkness, was called Gamangnara, the Dark World. Its king was concerned and weary with the perpetual darkness and desired the light of the sun and moon for his kingdom. He sent one of the gigantic fiery hounds, the Bulgae to chase the sun to bring it to his realm. However, when it tried to bite the sun, the sun was too hot, which made the dog unable to hold on to it, resulting in him giving up, and running back to the king, angry at the failure. He sent another more ruthless dog to steal the moon. When the Bulgae tried to carry it in its mouth, the moon was so cold, that the mouth of the dog was icy and frozen, and caused the Bulgae to drop it. The Bulgae tried many times to grab the moon in its mouth, but eventually gave up and ran back to the king in disappointment. The king never gave up this mission though. He continued to send fire dogs that were fiercer than the others, but none were able to collect the sun and moon. According to the Korean eclipse belief, during a solar eclipse or lunar eclipse, the dark sections are the parts where the dogs are biting. When the eclipses are over, the dogs have given up and run away back to its kingdom. »
Noting it down if it’ll hold meaning in the next episodes, we’ve got two scenes shot in the moonlight:
In the first episode when KSJ looks out from his cell’s window and moonlight enters the room ;
Right after KSJ got his health checked by Jihoon’s grandmother in ep6 and Joohyun gets in LMS’s car!
♦ Saint Michael and Kim Muchan
Following the previous point, in the nightclub KMC was investigating, a big statue right behind where he sat sometimes showed up.
It looks like a reproduction of the St. Michael bronze statue by Peter Anton von Verschaffelt on top of the Castel Sant’Angelo in Rome (the set of pictures in the middle).
There are other examples of similar iconography (the two pictures on the right):
— St. Michael defeats Satan by Guido Remi — Fontaine Saint-Michel in Paris (Bvd. Saint-Michel) by Gabriel Davioud, the sculpture, Archangel Michael and the devil, was designed by Francisque-Joseph Duret
I’ll quote this interesting page from EHNE, an online encyclopedia project developed in 2012 by the Sorbonne University.
« Saint Michael was a unique saint. As an archangel, he acted as the preferred messenger between Heaven and Earth. His struggle against the forces of Evil allowed him to serve as both a guardian and a warrior angel. » He’s also depicted as a champion/guardian of justice and a healer of the sick.
'Who is like God?' mmmmh
[What I didn’t know is that he was also considered the patron saint of the police, justice, military and many other trades and places, which is why he’s represented on the Saint Michael pendant!]
« As a victorious angel, defender, overcomer of evil and leader of heavenly armies, Michael the Archangel is often depicted in medieval art as an armored soldier [eg. pteruges, Byzantine armor or a fully feathered body or a mix of both] carrying such arms as a cross-inscribed shield, cross-staff, or the sword or spear he typically employs to fight the dragon during the Apocalypse. Outside of the apocalyptic combat scene, Michael also may be shown trampling and piercing the dragon as part of his overall iconography. (…) He's also featured in other important episodes, such as the biblical narrative of the Fall of Angels and the Last Judgment [Day of Wrath/Dies Irae, where the just will be welcomed to eternal bliss, separated from the wicked, cast into ‘eternal fire’.]. In Last Judgment scenes, Michael the Archangel is often shown holding the scales of justice laden with good and bad souls. »
This thesis (p. 287 ss.) on Saint Michael’s italian iconography by Clémentine Denèle was also interesting:
[It could align with KMC’s restraint in front of KSJ most of the time, his mainly unreliable narration and expressions you could only interpret in retrospect. The same could be said of KSJ, but it’s less apparent to me: it was strong in the beginning of the drama but by now, KSJ feels less ‘cryptic’ than KMC who’s been hazy the whole time.]
Most of the time, Saint Michael's representations depict him with a neutral expression, totally disconnected to the threat and tension of his whole body engaged in his battle against evil that belie no hesitation: no emotions pass through (eg. compassion, anger, fear, remorse, hesitation, pride, judgment/disgust against the evil’s deeds or the violence he executes), only a solemn severity can be seen. Even for other angel figures of the Christian iconography, feelings were initially expressed through their gestures and hands. This changed at the end of the Middle Ages: angels were depicted with emotions and expressions eg. smiling to suggest their angelic gentleness, especially when represented suffering next to the Christ being crucified. But Saint Michael stays depicted with an impassive/calm expression, at most with a discreet rictus. Clémentine Denèle comments it could be explained by his ethereal nature and superior quality as an angel unlike humans & the overall idealistic representation of angels. She quotes the art historian Jean Wirth: he says the immobility and the impassibility are characteristic of the superior beings, because they convey an abstraction and reflect the stable order of invisible things. To materialize their constant presence by God and humans’ side, angels make themselves visible to the humans by assuming a human form as well. Vivid expressions were exclusive to the damned and the demons. It aligns with the attitude he exhibits in the Epistle of Jude 1:9: « But even the archangel Michael, when he was disputing with the devil about the body of Moses, did not himself dare to condemn him for slander but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” » Passing a partial judgement on the evil is not his mission, Clémentine Denèle says he only assumes his role as God’s armed wing and as such, his faithful obedience and trust in God command quietude under any circumstances: as the executor of divine justice, he knows for a fact his mission is devoted to the good and it must be fulfilled. She reports there were only rare occurrences depicting him with anger and aggressiveness or fear (he’s most of the time confident in the battle’s aftermath), and he’s also rarely present to mourn the Christ as he is crucified: it is not his place.
On a related note, Narae’s name (나래) is the synonym of wing, spelled 날개. 나래 was officially admitted as an alternate orthography for the word in 2011. But from what I gathered, it’s only used in a literary/poetic context, while the common spelling stays 날개.
♦ More on names & hanja
After all these episodes, some hanja that could be used for KMC, KSJ and Joohyun’s names now seem relevant to note:
— For Kim Muchan
-> Mu in Muchan Law (橅 & 膴, 법) as I mentioned in the first post: it aligns with his ambiguous position on justice on the past (‘a rational justice’ that doesn’t follow the official law if it’s unfair) and in the present (manipulating evidence and proceedings to arrest culprits but still handling them within the law, rejecting Gaetal’s ways)
Deceive/lie (誣, 속이다) & fog/mist/haze (霧, 안개): his unreliable narration, the way he deceived people to catch Gaetal in ep4 & the edit that appears in the preview ; KMC now seems even more ambiguous than KSJ.
Full of rumors (楙, 무성하다): his ‘Wipeout’ reputation
Rough/violent/tough (蕪, 거칠다): his overall reckless and violent behavior as he works
Work hard/try hard and strive/work/endeavor ie. devote oneself and contribute to doing sth (務, 힘쓰다): self-explanatory given what we saw in this episode, combined with the shots of his house and the first episode that explains his reputation!
Stroke/touch/caress with hands and figuratively soothe ie. calm down sb with warm words and acts (憮, 어루만지다 and 애무하다 which can have a romantic tone = caress, stroke affectionately ie. for sb to gently stroke the one they love): his overall restraint to reach out to KSJ and guilt over being too late to save Narae. The new OST’s lyrics also refer to those kinds of feelings (whoever the narrator is), especially ‘Let me hold your hand, 더 가까이 너를’ (‘Let me hold your hand, Closer to you’), ‘익숙치않은 이런 내 모습 미안해’ (‘I’m sorry for this unfamiliar me [I showed you]’) and ‘Oh, please tell me why — 더는 네게 — 늦지 않게’ (‘Oh, please tell me why — I won’t be late for you anymore’).
EDIT: also, some shots indeed focus on KSJ's hands as he buries himself in them to cry in front of KMC!
House (廡, 집): KSJ’s house he seems to know pretty well and possibly holds precious memories to him, and his own house he doesn’t seem to tend to, probably out of guilt (see a previous post, ‘On the frames facing down (ep. 1 & 6), shame and guilt’)
Warrior (ie. person who learns martial arts and practices it as a job) & soldier/military/army (武, 무사 & 병사 respectively): his potential association to St. Michael who led heavenly armies + for posterity, if they reveal later in the drama he also knows martial arts and it somehow involves him with the Killing Vote (the first episode & ep3 at least showed he was quite agile)
Shaman (巫, 무당 ; though the word is mainly associated to female shamans, male shamans can also be called mudang): a shaman « employs magic to effect cures, to tell fortunes, to soothe spirits of the dead, and to repulse evil »
Dance (舞, 춤추다): like… the talchum… masks… in addition to the shaman... you know… haha
— For Kwon Seokju
-> Kwon [You can also apply relevant meanings to Narae, since it’s her last name]
Prison (圈, 감방): both physical and figurative ever since Narae died and he murdered BWT
Abstain/refrain from ie. be careful about one’s speech or behavior (惓, 삼가다): his overall behavior in the present
Tired/exhausted/weary (倦, 고달프다): what he wen through these whole 8 years
Take care of/look after/oversee, heartfelt/caring (惓, 정성스럽다) & warm/friendly: self-explanatory about his character in general when we see his past self with Narae, Jihoon & KMC, and other people in general (BWT’s parents, LMS, his students) before Narae’s case
Loyal/devoted (惓, 충성스럽다): devoted wholeheartedly to his family
Look back/reflect on the past (睠, 돌아보다): also self-explanatory
-> Seok in Seokju
Untie (釋, 풀다 ie. return what has been tied, bound, or twisted back to its original state)/relieve anger or sorrow/get rid of one’s agony by handling it : he’s still waiting for the accomplice to Narae’s murder to be arrested to find some closure after all those years, he perhaps also wants to put an end to it all for KMC to stop feeling guilty over the case.
Night (夕, 밤), tide (汐, 조수 ie. seawater flowing in and out from the shore because of the gravitational pull of the sun and moon) & tideland (潟, 개펄 ie. wide expanse of mud revealed when the tide goes down): [if the moon and sun imagery holds some meaning in the drama] ; also, most of KSJ’s scenes in the beginning were shot in the dark compared to the bright scenes with Narae and Jihoon
... The Mont Saint-Michel is known to be a tidal island and for its fog haha
-> Ju in Seokju [You can apply the relevant meanings to Joohyun too]
House (宙, 집): the house that had good natural lighting (Narae, Jihoon and perhaps KMC) he cherished is now gone, it is derelicted after all these years
Bear/endure/put up with ie. endure sth for a long time, resist (拄, 버티다): self-explanatory too
Sunlight/sunbeam/sunshine (晭, 햇빛): the shots of him mourning or basking in the light
Timely rain but also heavy rain/downpour (澍, 단비 and 폭우) & wick and burn out ie. burn and eliminate sth (炷, 심지 & 불사르다) as I mentioned in the first post!
The fire imagery is also present with Joohyun’s character and her scar.
It’s associated to the tragedy she had to live, and we could project the same theme to KMC & KSJ who went through the same, all linked by this ‘terrible rage’ still waiting to be put out.
The hanja 火 (which is what 炷, the hanja for wick/burn out is composed of) is associated to anger (화, anger, fury) and fire (불).
Given the previous posts, you can also link it to the haetae (symbol of justice which feeds off fire, is said to prevent fires) or the eternal fire at the Last Judgment.
— For Joohyun
-> Hyun in Joohyun
Snoop/nose around (俔, 염탐하다): self-explanatory hahaha
Bright ie. a place being light as a result of getting a lot of sun/light or brilliant (adj.)/break or dawn but also fig. cheerful/bright (炫, 밝다), sunlight/sunbeam/sunshine (昡, 햇빛 and 晛, 햇살) and kind-hearted/benevolent (賢, 어질다): self-explanatory for this lovely character!!
Wise/sagacious/sensible (賢, 현명하다): she has a soothing and mature side to her eg. as she talked to KMC & Jihoon
Clever/bright/intelligent (儇, 영리하다): self-explanatory too!!
Connect/link/join (縣, 연결하다, can also be used for people): she seems to connect with people around her with ease, and she looks like she’s trying to reconnect KMC to KSJ
♦ « The person Kwon Seokju cherished the most »
I don’t know where this will lead, but KMC JJW’s quote in ep6 as he relayed it to KSJ: initially, it was about ‘the person KSJ loved the most’ (가장 사랑하는 사람 ; 사랑하다 = love/care ie. cherish, value, and care for sb with all one’s heart).
KMC quoted it as ‘the person KSJ cherished the most’ (가장 소중한 사람 ; 소중하다 = valuable/precious/cherished/dear): while the two adjectives almost mean the same thing, ‘cherished’ feels more personal than the general ‘loved’ (사랑하다 is also used a lot) and conveys the invaluable dearness better in this situation to me.
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hmm i haven't really listened to dynamite and tbt i don't really want to bc butter was v disappointing djkfhgf i had only been in book fandoms since the beginning bc i got a yt/gmail acc only after i turned 12. i gave western music a ‘serious’ listen from then and after that i got into the wild place that is k-pop. ngl i don’t regret it bc the insanity >>> but oml there was a time when i used to read like 2/3 books in a week and now it’s regressed to like 1 in 6 months i genuinely feel bad for not being able to make the time to read 😭😭 (are we counting fanfiction tho hmmm). it was fun reading all those ya dystopian fiction with crazy amts of angst lol. are you into any specific book/author these days?
omg do you play the flute ?? and noooo sticker is nuts but I really like roadtrip from the album it’s so pretty as a song dkfjgd
FDSDGH so i’m pretty sure yangyang said the same ab cat food so bye bye #bar and renjun soulmate agenda hihi #bar and yangyang childhood rivals to complicated relationship with messy feelings (enemies ?? ) bc you’re both grown up now but he’s still a p(r)etty, overthinking idiot [affectionate] to friends of weird sort to smth more wink wink??
YESSS GIVE EXO A TRY their group music is so good literally all of them are bops i can’t stress enough on how good they are 🤧 omg i love their solo stuff too kyungsoo’s solo songs literally have me shedding tears haven’t still recovered from empathy. love shot ikfjgd it's one of those songs which makes loving exo so damn easy it’s the song which got me into them, that and overdose <3 and the choreo🧎🏾♀️love how we all collectively went batshit crazy over love shot oh gods i absolutely loved watching other idols trying that iconic love shot move the feeling of unitedly obsessing over them is unparalleled. here’s the exo playlist hope you like it omg had to use up all of my self control from adding entire discographies.
I LOVE BAEKHYUN’S VOICE even when the man’s screaming which is like always lol <3 that compilation video of byun baekhyun screaming in youtube my beloved. cry for love is beautiful and un village was the first baekhyun solo i listened to so it’s special <3
the worst part is how superm won’t be active in the next few years bc of the enlistments we’re losing god tiered music makers to the war </3 kjdgf ALL OF THEIR VIDEOS ARE HILARIOUS YESS those vids where they quiz each other is sm chaos lmaoo. jfgsdf have you watched this video where they react to their as we wish scenarios?? sheesh that amt of clowning and slandering is >>> ohhh fave superm song hmm hard to choose but i’ll go w dangerous woman (ten’s ‘what’s wrong with you part’ is just too cute) wish you were here, infinity and tiger inside.
ALSO LOVED THE PARX PLAYLIST haven’t listened to it fully tho but for now my faves are easy to hate and i felt younger when we met omg i love most of the songs from fandom <33
and oml tysm i really needed to see that 😭 i’m literally so scared bc lord it’s my last year in school and my last year as a minor ahhhhh 🤧 stem is extremely hard and puts me through sm pain <3. the only reason i’m sticking w it is bc i like learning it <3 getting the opportunity to study what you like is actually such a rare thing + almost the entirety of my country’s population is obsessed w getting their kids major in stem subjects (bc of the asian stereotypes surrounding those fields) but we don’t have that many good unis so the competition is really tiring </3
p.s. i haven’t really used tiktok so idk 💀 and the yangyang brainrot is doing a little too bc of your fic 😵 feeling sm things after reading i’m not angry anymore (well, sometimes i am) bc yangyang's character <33 need a few weeks to recover from that tyvm
oof i get you w butter it was so disappointing🤧🤧but oh well. everyone has different taste🤷♀️ i dont really get solo armies but i guess im not the one to judge.
i get you with book fandoms!!! i wasnt in many book fandoms, since i didnt really know they existed 💀💀 but i am a massive bookworm! i too used to read like 3 books a week once and now im happy if i do 1 every three months😭 but im busier now and also have other hobbies, so i guess that's why i dont read as much anymore! what are some of your favorite books? 🥰 im a big fan of john green books (dont judge. i copy his writing style /j) and j.d. sallinger! i love me some good YA and dystopian books hhh. im currently reading this crime book i stole from my grandma but im too lazy to look up the english name 😭😭😭 are you reading anything atm?
SJSJSJ i dont play the recorder 😭 i mean,, i have it at home and i can play when i look up the simplified version of notes with the drawings,,, like the sheet music they do for elementary school children 💀💀 i knew how to play the titanic song lmaoo i play the guitar tho! do you play any instruments?
your yangyang childhood rivals to complicated relationship with messy feelings (enemies??) bc you're both grown up now but he's still a p(r)etty overthinking idiot [affectionate] to friends of some sort to smth more wink wink is so specific i might just take some inspo from this wink wink
OVERDOSE >>>>>>> I FUCKING LOOOVE THAT SONG@!!! also i listened to the playlist and found out that i knew more than half of the songs you added 😭😭 i loved the ones that were new to me tho!!!! espeCIALLY going crazy! i think that one was my fav out of the new ones! i might just need you to help me stan them or something bc the playlist slAPS
dont remind me of superm military hiatus when i miss them the most :(( also no i havent seen these!!! gotta catch up sjsjsn
FANDOM IS MY FAV PARX ALBUM!! its very dear to my heart!! also our fav songs match🥺 i felt younger when we met is probably my most played song of this year smh 🤧
oh so youre 17?? enjoy it i romanticize that age so much i feel like the last time when i was truly happy was when i was 17 💀 but no trust me its all gonna be good! i know it seems scary but as your self proclaimed older sister figure, i promise its less difficult than it seems and you'll do great. you can always come to me and vent whenever things get hard! i am glad you are fortunate enough to study what you want to, its truly a privilage some of us tend to overlook
p.s. the yy brainrot is still going in me as well i listened to miracle today on repeat and i swear his parts make me feel a different type of way😭 also make sure to tell me more abt your thoughts and feelings on that fic if you want to!
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