#Tim: I WILL EXORCISE THIS GHOST IF IT KILLS ME

[guess1mjustheren0w]

AU set in the period Jason was dead in which he just haunts the Wayne manor. Like subtly but also absolutely going Batshit ( No pun intended) Crazy when Tim was his most sleep deprived. Like wandering round reciting classic literature. Stealing paintings and making them float

So Tim gets proof of a ghost and has a conspiracy board and an Ouija board and has a séance and everything. And he figures out its Jason. And attempts an exorcism. But then the day after The ghost disappears so Tim thinks it worked. (It didn't Jason just got resurrected ).

Jason has no memory of this after being brought back btw. So he is like what the actual hell when Tim brings this interesting tidbit of info out in 2 truths and a lie.

[mangoisms]

you know what i’m thinking about. in the unmasked run in robin 93 where jack figures out tim is robin and does so by breaking tim’s privacy and going through his room and it’s often used as backup that jack was abusive most specifically in fanon spaces where bruce can then be posed as tim’s true father/better than jack and like dgmw it was bad and shitty and he shouldn’t have done it.

but it’s also funny that right before this, in that same issue—#124—it starts off with this terrible sequence of bruce treating tim like shit because he’s lost confidence in himself after accidentally killing (but not permenantly; now it seems that way) johnny warren; bruce’s defense here is tim doesn’t know this factually which i mean is fair, but he calls it an excuse and basically doesn’t address the core of tim’s feelings At All. like. look.

Bruce: This is dangerous business, Robin. No such thing as calling “time out” or “no fair.” Not unless you want those to be your final words, before the cops fish your body out of the Gotham River. Tim: Give me a break, Bruce. You’re Batman. How can I possibly hope to beat you in one-on-one combat? Bruce: I limited myself to using only the fighting styles indigenous to the Indian sub-continent: Kallar Payattu; Verumkai; some Gatka— Tim: So what? You’re Batman! Bruce: Still, you should have held out longer than three minutes. Last winter, you nearly lasted seven.  Tim: Last winter I was still—I mean back then I hadn’t— Bruce: If you have something to tell me, then spit it out. Otherwise I have better ways to waste my time.  Tim: Back then I still hadn’t killed anyone. Bruce: Oh, so it’s that again? How long are you planning to use that crutch? Tim: I— Bruce: For three months, you’ve used that incident to justify slacking off. You show up late for training sessions, or miss them entirely.  Tim: I— Bruce: You're moody, petulant and no longer self-motivated. Anytime Alfred or I aren't actually watching, you stop working. I've about decided you're not fit to continue being Robin. Tim: And that's the real crux of our problem, isn't it? You've lost trust in me. You haven't let me go out on real missions, or patrol on my own, since the Johnny Warren case. Bruce: Cart before the horse, Tim. You lost trust in yourself then, so I stopped giving you the weight you could no longer seem to carry. Tim: Is that true? Alfred, have you seen it, too? Was it me all along? Alfred: When you first came to us, Master Tim, you were so blithe and confident--ready to take on the world. How did my father describe the type? "Ready to charge into hell with no more than a bucket." Don't mind admitting that you seemed a godsend--the one young man who could exorcise the ghost of Jason from these chambers. Bruce: Careful, Alfred. Stick to business. This isn't an encounter session, and no one needs to dredge up ancient history. Alfred: Point taken, sir. My apologies. In any case, Master Tim, you no longer seem to be the same young man who so dazzled us then. Now all of the light has drained out of you, and this noble cause you once desired so much to participate in has instead become a dreadful burden. Bruce: I'll put you back out there the moment you show me that's where you want to be. But if you're going to keep using Warren to continue acting this way, not even knowing if you actually caused his death--well, that excuse is good once more, and once more only. I’ll accept it as the reason you quit. Take a day or two to decide.

like? bruce isnt looking too good here either. at all. anyway. there’s too much i want to say with this but this is already long so. Here

[currentfandomkick]

Bonus of if Tim asks Danny if something like that ever happened before and he just shudders and says “circus gothica” and pater mentions a few of his minor possessions back home but “i learned how to stop up to five people trying to overshadow me to make sure it couldn’t happen again. This doesn’t make sense—I let Clocky try and still managed to stop him from getting in, and he’s the overseer of time! This just, this doesn’t make any sense!”

And Tim slowly working out that Danny is not only from a family of supernatural hunters while refusing to join the family business, but befriended and helped hide a lot of them in exchange for them living more harmoniously with the locals.

Tim is now convinced Danny’s taken on a role of helping to various entities in exchange for peaceful co-existence and helped enforced the co-existence on both ends… but somehow was off the JL and JLD’s radar when it was happening, doing the mental math and realizing it very well could predate the JLD’s exostence and Hating That.

Especially if we go with Danny and Tim in their early twenties, as offically JLD formed in 2011 comics-wise and JL formed in the 60s at their earliest iteration.

So.

JLD could be something that formed around the time Tim’s life was falling apart (16 yrs old in Tim’s Horrible Year Where Everyone He Loved Died or May As Well Have To Him) while Danny got his powers and everything at hand before that, stabilizing amity in two years/creating its new normal to the point its treated like Fawcett’s time weirdness—a known oddity but normal for the locals, with a bonus of Amity’s locals despise outside interference as collective GIW trauma response.

So this gives a perfect storm of JLD genuinely not knowing about the issues in Amity as ‘predates the group, and their weirdness is just. Accepted. Will try to kill you if you bother them though—more the humans than the ghosts. Unless you mess with their grave or obsession. Or try to exorcise them, but that’s suicidal there since they like being a hellmouth connected to another dimension permanently instead of getting a new one every few months. Hell if any of us know why, it just is.’

And that contrasted to Danny not knowing how he could be possessed when he’s gotten used to fending off overshadowing with no prior notice for years now (his rogues like keeping him on his feet as part of their playdates. Most they do is make him dance badly or something mildly embarrassing)

Naturally Tim is now with Danny A Lot at this freaked them both out.

Bonus for Jason feeling calmer all of the sudden, if you want his Pitt Madness to be Angry God Hoarde stuffed into Jason ‘Robin Made Me Magic’ Todd and Red Hood’s actions still his, but the obsessive need to have Joker killed (100% understandable, and Same dude.) be in part as result of his truama, knowing what Joker did to Babs a few months prior And his soul semi-merging with joker’s personal “Fuck You In Particular” ghost hoarde.

Do i find the idea of Jason highfiving Danny on meeting him and saying, “thanks for ending the clown.”

Only for danny to reflexively say, “shitty ringmaster. And i didn’t, but thanks?”

Danny is now convinced Tim’s ‘its complicated legally, but he’s my brother, yes the dead one—no we didnt do necromancy—well they didnt i tried as a baby version of me and it failed epically and—danny stop poking my face i was 11.’ Is now a big supporter of Danny who just. Keeps dropping off food and demanding he gets to teach Danny (and by extension Tim) how to cook better meals for himself. Tim does know how and is good at it (mastered low effort high yield healthy snacks and meals) but he’s there for Danny… not because he doesn’t want Jason to steal his friend like he does all of Dick’s.

Danny is firmly Tim’s friend, but gave up stopping after Jason barged in the fifth time to explain making another dish and make it together with him and Tim.

Dick feels left out as do the others, but Tim is Firm against them spooking his civilian friend who dealt with a crapton of supernatural shenanigans that he’s not letting them ignite again if he can stop it. He doesnt want round two of Danny possessed by a vengeful ghost hoarde. Alfred discourages attempts to drop in on the lessons and Tim’s ‘not-dates’ with Danny. They can loom from a few rooftops away without consequences from Alfred.

Tim and Jason’s retaliatory pranks are not a consequence they can escape from easily.

To soothe myself from my last post where it’s non-Joker hate *shudders* here have this.

————————————————————————

The first three months of Danny’s stay in Gotham had been mostly quiet. No big Rogue attacks since most of them were in Arkham. Unfortunately that had come to an end. There was a mass breakout and among them was the Joker.

Danny had made friends with a couple people, during his classes, and had met his new crush Tim at a coffee shop. He was actually with Tim when they got the news about the breakout. They had been walking out to Tim’s car so he could be driven home when it happened.

Tim’s POV

He had been talking with Danny when he saw him shudder and stop walking.

He frowned, turning towards him. “Danny? What’s wrong?” He watched as Danny paled, full body twitched, then his eyes turned a glowing red that took over his entire eyes. He snarled, face almost inhuman as he turned and booked it down the street at inhuman speeds (though nowhere near Flash speed).

Scrambling Tim jumped in his car and chased after Danny, though he quickly lost him. He grabbed his com and turned it on. “Oracle, I need you to track someone.” He quickly rattled out along with the street information and Danny’s description.

“Red Robin, report.” Batman growled out.

“I was walking with my friend back to my car after we heard the news of the breakout. On the way there he froze and then… I’m not quite sure but whatever it was I don’t think he was in control anymore.”

There was silence for a few moments on the coms. Oracle spoke, “I think I found his location. The cameras are fritzing out big time in a decent area near your location.”

When he managed to get there he was honestly a little sickened. There was body parts and blood everywhere. Joker goons, from the occasional mask lying around. Swallowing he ventured deeper into the zone, having to turn off his coms due to the screeching interference.

When he finally set his eyes on Danny it was to see him arm deep into the Joker’s chest. He paused, watching as the Joker’s body fell to the floor, his heart still in Danny’s hand. He watched as Danny’s eyes stopped glowing red and he swayed, dropping the heart to bring a hand to his head.

“Danny?” He asked hesitantly.

Danny turned, a hazy expression on his face. “Tim?” He slurred out.

Quickly making his way over he managed to prevent Danny from toppling over, grimacing at the blood now coating his hand. He noticed the other bats and birds arriving on scene out of the corner of his eye, but stayed focused on Danny. “Let’s get you out of here.” He said gently as he guided Danny out of the area.

Later, after he had managed to get Danny some water and a bit of food, he asked, “Do you remember what happened, Danny?” His friend looked down at his blood covered hands. “I remember walking to your car when it was like I was being grabbed by a bunch of hands and I couldn’t move. Then… it almost felt like I was being stuffed into a box or something and everything was hazy and indistinct after that. I tried fighting it but it like catching smoke. Then I was being released but it was like I had no energy. I know you called my name but I don’t recall much until after you gave me the energy bar.”

Tim frowned, glancing at Black Bat. He saw her sign “true” and nodded. Looks like they might have to call the JLD on this one.

[cephalog0d]

For the WIP Ask Game: Can I get some tasty details about the Ghost Steph AU, pretty please?

YES ABSOLUTELY this AU low-key consumes my brain in the background all the time. I've rambled about it a little and written a quick drabble for it, but the bulk of it has to wait until I have a chance to do the HEFTY amount of note-taking required for an Extremely Canon Compliant (to a point) fic.

Really this is motivated by my eternal frustration at how much DC dropped the ball with regard to the fact Steph's death occurred DIRECTLY before Jason's whole big comeback rampage. And like. You'd think there might be some things to connect there, with yet another kid getting killed working with Batman, and the overall non-reaction to it, and how much of Jason's whole shtick is being pissed that he got killed and nobody cared. There was a whole-ass news broadcast directly outing her as Spoiler AND Robin and connecting her to Batman! This was not exactly a secret! On top of which the whole War Games thing ties pretty directly into Under the Hood with Black Mask and all that. AND YET. For some mysterious reason that definitely doesn't rhyme with Man Midio it's just totally unaddressed.

Anyway, the general idea is that Steph did actually die during War Games and is stuck in Gotham as a ghost. Nobody else can see/hear her, which sucks, until she happens to run into Jason. Due to metaphysical handwaving (they were both Robin, Jason's been dead and has weird paranormal energy, etc.), he CAN see and hear her, which is great for her and rather unfortunate for him because BOY does she have some opinions on her death, and Bruce, and Tim, and Jason, and his whole plan. And he's going to hear all about it because there's literally nothing he can do to stop her.

And I have a lot of feelings about all the potential interactions there. So many conflicting emotions, and they're sort of stuck together, because even if Steph would rather hang out with other people he's the only one who can see or hear her, and that's better than not being seen or heard at all, and Jason can't just shoot her or lock her out because. Ghost.

(He definitely tries to exorcise her several times. It doesn't take. Steph mocks him endlessly about it.)

So yeah, ONE DAY I'm going to write this, it just requires me to go back and reread a bunch of stuff leading up to War Games and UTH, and those arcs themselves, and take extensive notes to make sure I've got all the canon details right. I'm determined to make it happen, though.

[ladytauria]

the ghost hunting wip’s summary is better than i remember it being 

so while normally this would stay in my notes, just for me… i will post it instead xD

Gotham has long been a place of supernatural power. No one is quite sure why—if it was something the founding families awoke, or something they were drawn to all along. Regardless, she has more than her fair share of supernatural entities roaming her streets. Some are benevolent. Some are not.

The Wayne family is dedicated to the study of psychic abilities and supernatural creatures; discreetly funding their research, as many of their heirs have been blessed (or perhaps cursed) with varying abilities. After the deaths of Thomas and Martha Wayne at the hands of a malevolent creature, however, Bruce Wayne became dedicated to cleansing Gotham and keeping its people—aware and unaware of the supernatural—safe.

One of the creatures that has plagued Gotham is a trickster being known as “the Joker.” It goes through long periods of dormancy, and awoke during Bruce’s crusade. (It is also possible that it may have been responsible for the deaths of the Wayne sires.) It has a particular grudge against Bruce, seeing him as Gotham’s chosen Champion, and thus, its mortal nemesis. It desperately wants to see him suffer.

In its crusade, it targeted Bruce’s second son, Jason. It tortured him brutally before killing him.

What the spirit didn’t know, however, is that while the Waynes (and especially Bruce) are among Gotham’s favored Champions, Jason is Gotham’s favored son. Unwilling to let him stay dead, Gotham revived him, filling him with her power. In response, Jason is now more powerful than he once was, with abilities he doesn’t truly understand—and a strange hunger he isn’t sure how to sate.

Gotham wants him, like Bruce, to protect her people—to soothe the spirits caught in old webs and exorcise the malevolent beings that plague her streets. Jason will learn that eventually. Until then, however, his family is glad to have him back home—feeding the public a story about his faked death, real kidnapping, and eventual return.

Its after this miraculous return that Jason meets Tim—a fervent believer in the supernatural, despite being, by all appearances, powerless. He’s passionate, loyal, and doesn’t seem phased by Jason’s weird comments or odd aura. They become friends, and eventually, Tim talks Jason into starting a ghost hunting show with him—Gotham Ghosts. Jason isn’t enthused, but knows that Tim would do it anyway... and being a walking trouble magnet, likely end up dying or worse.

So he goes forth with the web-serial, and... well. Eventually, Tim gets too close to something dangerous, and finds out what Jason—and the rest of the Waynes—really are.

[forthegothicheroine]

american psycho, the company of wolves, beauty and the beast (og disney), beauty and the beast (disney remake), tim burton's sleepy hollow, the over the garden wall miniseries, disney's legend of sleepy hollow (lmao i want it to be fall so bad), sofia coppola's marie antoinette, sofia coppola's the beguiled, the innocents, fire walk with me, crimson peak, coppocula

Hoo boy! Stuffing this big series of answers below the cut.

American Psycho:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

Love it! I don't think the book would do it for me (I don't do well with graphic torture) but I thought the movie did a good job of showing us the kind of things he was doing, while also leaving enough ambiguity even before the twist at the end, and letting us sympathize with his depression (even if he can't name it) while also making him deeply unpleasant.

The Company of Wolves:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

Do I like it as a big feminist statement? Honestly, not really- there's no sympathy for any women who aren't Rosalie or maybe her mother, and I think we are supposed to be conflicted over whether the choice she makes at the end is the right one. Do I like it as an exploration of an adolescent female id? Absolutely. Sex and violence and terror and quests are all on her mind and are all equally awful and thrilling, and Rosalie wants what's bad for her and isn't sure it's actually bad for her and the balance of power is always see-sawing and the whole thing feels like the most amazing dream.

Beauty and the Beast (original):

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

I thought the Beast was too mean when I was a little kid and forming my Disney opinions- I might actually like it more now. This is probably why I like the Cocteau version, even though what he does is basically still just as bad, because at least he's not a dick about it (and Panna a nevtor, which plays it all for gothic horror.)

Sleepy Hollow:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

In retrospect, this one shows a lot of the problems that would later kill my love for Tim Burton, but it's still a lot of fun. The Hessian is genuinely scary, Johnny Depp is mugging a bit but it's not as bad as it would eventually get, and I want all the dresses.

Over the Garden Wall:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

Pure distilled autumn in its aspects of both harvest and death, fun and fear. It's a world based on vintage Halloween postcards and fairytales that don't actually exist but feel like they do. I love every character, and that momentary flash where we see what the Beast looks like haunts my nightmares. My only caveat is that I do sometimes have to tell other people to keep watching after Schoolyard Follies, there will be a plot I promise!

Disney's Legend of Sleepy Hollow:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

I think this is one of those where I never saw the whole thing, just the main song on one of those Best of Disney compilation videos. I'll at least give it credit for preserving the original story rather than making the Headless Horseman actually real (which I think most adaptations do because frankly the original story isn't long enough for feature length.)

Marie Antoinette:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

This seems like one of those movies where you've supposed to get into the mood of the music and the visuals more so than the plot or characters? I can get into that.

The Beguiled:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

I still don't know if I want to see this or not! The concept sounds cool and creepy, but I don't like the idea that these ladies are the good guys. Or maybe I'm wrong and nobody's supposed to be a good guy? Or maybe I should watch the grimier original since I unfortunately find young Clint Eastwood hot?

The Innocents:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

I'm personally of the opinion that the ghosts in The Turn of the Screw were real (it's just that screaming at a child is not a good way to exorcise them), but the deliberate ambiguity/unreliability of this version is also creepy in its own way. It's a much darker ghost story that you'd get from most big studio films of the time, certainly.

Fire Walk With Me:

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

This really did a good job of portraying its protagonist as a real person rather than just an object of clinical observation or perverse whimsy (which I think Twin Peaks the Return fell into.) It's just so heartbreakingly sensitive and Sheryl Lee does such a good job of portraying Laura as both kind and mean, loving and hateful, and absolutely the victim of someone she should have been able to trust. And then the end, where Cooper is smiling gently at her and the angel has come back and she's laughing in relief? Oh my god.

Crimson Peak

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

I didn't love this as much as I thought I would (maybe because I was spoiled about what was up with the Sharpes, or maybe because I didn't like the implication that Edith should have gone with the nice boy best friend she didn't love) but I'd still say it's a good entry in the gothic romance genre. Stunning clothes and scenery, great actors, scary ghosts, an ending open enough for fanfiction. If I picked this up as an Avon Satanic Gothic at a thrift store, I'd definitely be happy!

Coppocula (Bram Stoker's Dracula)

never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece

Oof. I don't want to be a snob about this. I've definitely liked Dracula movies that were wackier or dumber than this (looking at you, 2004 BBC version!) This one just breaks my heart because there's so much talent on display and I just. fucking. hate it! That soundtrack deserved a better movie. That red dress deserved a better movie. All the characters deserved better writing. Whenever someone tells me they love this movie, I have to nod and say that it's certainly beautiful looking, because I don't want to be a terrible gatekeeper, and if it was an original vampire story it might well be a guilty pleasure of mine. I just fucking hate it. On the bright side, it did give us Vlad the Poker in the What We Do in the Shadows movie, a pitch-fucking-perfect parody of Gary Oldman's Dracula, and the Nadja/Gregor plot in the What We Do in the Shadows tv show, a pitch-fucking-perfect deconstruction of the reincarnated wife trope.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Though I know I should be wary

Still I venture someplace scary

Ghostly haunting I turn loose.

Betelgeuse.

BETELGEUSE.

Psycho Analysis: Betelgeuse

“It’s showtime.”

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Here he is, the ghost with the most, the bio-exorcist extraordinaire, the spook who has lived through the Black Plague (and had a pretty good time during it) and who has seen The Exorcist about a hundred and sixty-seven times (and it keeps getting funnier every time he sees it)! From the Tim Burton movie of almost the same name – his name is actually spelled like the star in the constellation of Orion, not like what the movie and the cartoon’s title says it is – Betelgeuse is one hell of a guy, an undead menace like no other. Between the performance from none other than Michael Keaton (which is not surprising since the guy was more of a comedic actor prior to Batman, which this film came out before) and the direction and style granted to him by Tim Burton in his prime, Betelgeuse has cemented himself as one of the most delightfully enjoyable jackasses in fiction.

Actor: I want to believe this is what convinced Tim Burton to cast Michael Keaton as Batman. In fact, I like to imagine this movie is why anyone casts Michael Keaton in anything, ever. Birdman? Spider-Man: Homecoming? Minions? All because of his performance here. He’s clearly having a blast, and he fills Betelgeuse with the sort of insane, depraved manic energy a sleazy undead conman should have. Keaton has apparently said this is his favorite role and he’s down to do the sequel if it ever gets out of development hell, and if he can still provide the same wacky performance as he did back in ‘88 I think we have nothing to fear. He is the glue that holds this film together along with Danny Elfman’s score. Case in point: most of Keaton’s lines were ad libbed. Think of all the hilarious deliveries, dialogue, and jokes that BJ spits out, and think if there had been someone else playng him. I don’t know if anyone else could have come up with anything funnier.

Motivation/Goals: Betelgeuse really seems like an agent of chaos, just doing what he does because it seems fun to him. He is just so gleeful about the prospects of killing people on the job, and he gleefully torments the Maitlands even while they ask for his help, sexually harassing Barbara at every turn and just being a real creep. Later in the film, he implies he really wants to get out of being undead, and so tries to coerce Lydia into releasing him, even forcing her to marry him in return for help freeing the Maitlands from accidentally being exorcised. 

Really, the guy just likes to cause a ruckus. It’s not really expanded upon in the movie, and he’s just played up as a hilariously creepy jerkwad, but apparently the musical adaptation expands on why he does what he does. As far as the movie goes, though... yeah. He’s just a jerk. A really, really funny jerk.

Personality: Betelgeuse is like a sleazy used car salesman cranked up to eleven. He’s motormouthed, he’s unpleasant, he’s sleazy, he’s perverted, and he’s an incredible jerkass… and yet, you just can’t help but love the guy, because Keaton’s energy just shines through and makes him a jerkass in a lovable sort of way. It’s sort of the same principle as Gaston; he’s just so cartoonishly, hilariously over-the-top in how much of a pig he is that you can’t help but enjoy him, especially since he does get his just desserts in the end.

Final Fate: Betelgeuse tries to force Lydia into marriage, and poofs away the Maitlands to make sure they don’t say his name. But this backfires spectacularly: shrinking Adam allows him to drive a toy car into Betelgeuse’s foot, casuing him to drop the ring before he can seal the deal with Lydia, and poofing Barabara out onto the surface of Venus only serves to allow her to wrangle the Sand worm and have it crash through the roof and eat him alive. And then when Betelgeuse gets stuck in the waiting room, he ends up between the man with a shrunken head and the witch doctor who did it to him, and after stealing the witch doctor’s number, Betelgeuse finally is able to get a little head… just probably not in the sense he’d have liked it.

Best Scene: Once he says “It’s showtime,” all bets are off, and he really delivers on his promises to help the Maitlands. It’s actually kind of shocking that he holds up his ends of the bargains he makes; maybe people wouldn’t try and screw him out of his end of the deal if he wasn’t such a raging perverted jackass.

Best Quote: The guy is just a fountain of quality quotes, particularly when he rattles off his qualifications. But I really have to give it to one line, a line that absolutely baffles me as to how it made it into a PG rated film, which Betelgeuse says after kicking over a tree in the town model:

“NICE FUCKING MODEL!”  This is then followed by him grabbing his crotch with cartoonish honking noises. It’s incredible.

Final Thoughts & Score: It’s really hard for me to not call this the definitive Michael Keaton performance, as far as comedies go anyway. He is just really throwing himself into to the role and having an absolute blast with it; there’s not a single moment with him that feels forced or tired, he’s just constantly putting all his effort into making this ghastly slimeball a likable antagonist, and boy does it pay off. To this day, Betelgeuse is a beloved and iconic character in Tim Burton’s filmography, to the point where the guy got his own cartoon show which is in and of itself considered a beloved cult classic. And as if that wasn’t enough, he got his own musical! It takes a special kind of villain to score a big musical gig; just ask a certain green witch.

The thing is, there isn’t much to analyze in the way of character here; he’s really just the way it is because it’s funny. The movie is a dark comedy, after all (though not the darkest comedy starring Winona Ryder that came out in ‘88). Hell, I think the most interesting thing to glean from him is how his most popular outfit, the one he wears all the time in the cartoon and is on everything from the posters to DVD cover, is actually only worn by him for about five minutes of screentime, with the rest of his appearances featuring him in what appears to be ratty, nasty old pajamas. I think part of why the stripey outfit became his signature style is because not only does it look cool, but he wears it for his big moment when he frees the Maitlands and really lets loose.

The other interesting thing to glean from Betelgeuse is how despite being a nasty, horrible person, you just can’t help but love the guy. He’s just so darn funny! Like I mentioned before, I think it is because in a lot of ways, he is like Gaston, who is the poster child for toxic masculinity. Betelgeuse is a slimy sexual harasser, he has no sense of personal space, and he tries to force a young woman to marry him; in real life, this guy would be a vomit-inducing psychopath who people would rightfully want hung out to dry, but here, in this film, he’s hilarious. I think that, much like Gaston, it’s the energy and fun pf the performance, and at least here with Betelgeuse it has to do with how utterly cartoonish he is and how everyone around him has the intended reactions. And, of course, he never really wins, even if he does cause a lot of mischief along the way.

I think Betelgeuse is the sort of magical jackass more fantasy films should aspire to have; there really aren’t many characters worth mentioning who are in the same vein as good ol’ BJ. With that in mind, I think he deserves a 10/10. I think he’s one of Tim Burton’s finest creations, the most lovable of rogues, a truly impressive phantom menace, and he really holds the film together. I long for the day when Michael Keaton’s dream comes true, and they finally make Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian or whatever other absurd concept they would do for a sequel if they decide not to got with Tim’s joke script.

All I can say for sure is: boy am I glad Burton and Keaton changed this from a straightforward horror film into a dark comedy, because I’m not sure I’d like to live in the universe where Betelgeuse was legitimately evil and tried to rape Lydia. Yes, this was really what the film’s original script was like. It just goes to show that sometimes it’s better to be funny than it is to be scary.