#This works especially well if A's case is way worse than B's.

[elacular-kink]

Regarding "We've both got the hiccups" as a phrase I frequently obsess over, a mental image I really like is the person with the fetish being nearly paralyzed with embarrassment and practically hiding behind the person without, who's very embarrassed themself, but still having to (and willing to) do all the talking for their partner.

"*HIC-CULP!* Ah! E-ex–*hmk* excuse me! You'll re–*HEEK*–mmf! R-really have to exc---excuse both of us, *hup* we've both caught a nast–*eep* nasty ca–*uck* case of the hiccups. *hmp* B here's doing their be–*uck* best to keep quiet. *HIUK* NNhf! U-unlike myself it *hk* seems. *hmk* Excuse me."

...hm. Usually I don't like the word "nasty" as a descriptor, but it felt right there. Weird.

[floral-ashes]

Canada’s First Trans Healthcare Ban

Alberta’s anti-trans bills have dropped. A few observations. 🧵

The first thing I notice, and which is cause for hope, is that the bills do not invoke the notwithstanding clause. They can thus be challenged in Court, and struck down as unconstitutional. 

The healthcare ban is worse than they announced, at least in its present form. They ban all gender-affirming surgeries until 18, as expected. They also ban puberty blockers and hormones for minors. So far, the same as we expected. 

However, the bill is set up so that the ban is total for all minors *unless* the Minister creates an exception for some. This means that even 16-17 year olds whose parents consent cannot receive puberty blockers or hormones. They may plan to allow it, but it’s not in the law. 

There is also no clause that allows youth who are alreadyon puberty blockers or hormones to continue. This is especially concerning because it means they’ll lose access if there’s any delay with planned Ministerial orders—if they even plan to make an order. 

Unsurprisingly, it seems that the law wasn’t drafted by someone who is knowledgeable about trans realities. As a result, transition-related surgeries are defined as those that “treat gender dysphoria or gender incongruence.” 

While the loophole is unlikely to work, a literal reading would allow transition-related surgeries that are motivated by gender euphoria, framed as cosmetic, or understood through a depathologizing lens. The fact slightly amuses me, but again it’s unlikely to actually help. 

The name and pronouns policy is as expected. Trans minors will be forcibly outed to their parents if they request a change of name or pronouns that is related in some way to their gender identity. Parental consent isn’t required for those aged 16-17, but they still get outed. 

There is no exception to the outing requirement, even if it poses a grave risk. All it says is that schoolboards must give counselling or other assistance before outing the kids, in such a case. 

This creates a small loophope—willing schools could delay outing for some time and argue that it still respects the law. However, they still can’t respect under-16 trans youth’s name or pronouns without parental consent, and they must still out them eventually. 

If the law is applied negligently or unreasonably, and a child ends up seriously hurt or dead? Too bad—the law strongly protects people from liability if they believe they’re applying the law and are doing so in good faith. 

For an overview of why these rules are dangerous and unconstitutional, here is my recent Alberta Law Review article on the topic:

How about sexual education? Well, it’s basically dead. The law makes it mandatory for schools to receive Ministerial approval for any material primarily and explicitly related to gender identity, sexual orientation, or human sexuality. 

In addition to the material needing approval, any third-party who delivers the material must be separately approved by the Minister. 

Even if the material is approved, teachers must (a) notify parents at least 30 (!) before teaching it, and (b) ensure alternative instruction for students whose parents didn’t consent. 

This isn’t really an opt-in system. While it’s superficially opt-in, the requirements are so absurdly onerous that nobody will teach materials related to gender identity, sexual orientation, or human sexuality.

It’s as simple as that—sexual education is dead in Alberta. 

The only small comfort is that only regulating materials “primarily and explicitly” about these topics could serve as a good loophole for rebellious teachers. Incidental and indirect discussions of gender identity, sexual orientation, and human sexuality are expressly allowed. 

Lastly, the sports ban. To my surprise, there’s actually no ban on trans women in sports. One less thing on my plate!

Now there is indeed a law about sports, it just doesn’t quite reach the level of a ban. Instead, the bill tells schools and sports bodies to create a policy on fairness and safety in sports, including eligibity requirements and procedures for verifying eligiblity. 

The law also creates a mandatory reporting mechanism for any complaints related to that policy or to (more or less) trans inclusion in sports. This is unsurprisingly hypocritical—conservatives love surveillance states as much as they love to complain about ‘big government.’ 

This bill doesn’t so much ban trans women from sports as provide a cover for any organization that wants to do so. That they should ban trans people is a thinly-veiled subtext, but it’s legally-speaking only a subtext. 

The law also includes broad protection from liability for mostly anyone—including sports participants—who is trying to implement the act ‘in good faith.’ If racists decide to harass a Black woman and claim that she’s not a woman, as we have seen all-too-often in elite sports? If an adult decides to do ‘genital verifications’ on a child? They’re effectively protected from civil liability, so long as they claim it’s in good faith. Scary stuff...

That’s a wrap, but I’m happy to answer any questions about the bills!

[roseykat]

What about alpha Minho/omega Jisung X alpha fem! Reader?? The two alphas fucking each other roughly because it's their nature and they constantly try to dominate the other, both of them fucking their little Omega until he cries and shakes in their hold, marking him as their mate

The three of the spending their ruts/heats together...

That's it

Thank you for giving me free rein (again) over another topic, and I think this is the first A/B/O type hard thought that I’ve written on this account lmao

Imagine the sheer, untapped ferocity between alpha Minho and alpha reader whenever dominance is at stake. Not to mention whenever their doe eyed, freshly marked mate is watching as well before he gets clawed into the mess. His alphas’ ruts are brutal and totally unforgiving, but to me, Jisung holds the mental faculty as a natural pleaser. Yes omega’s submit to alphas, but Jisung just submits in general because that’s also his personality and not just his genes (in this AU anyway).

So even if he didn’t possess the genetic makeup of an omega, that man is on his knees, awaiting further instructions from reader and Minho without question.

They’d fuck him harsh and senseless, using his holes at their own will until he’s crying from how good his insides feel. Even though he likes it hard, fast, rough, and will take both of them at the same time on any given day, his alpha’s can go overboard sometimes. But he knows it’s not their fault and they know that if there’s anything that’s as equally bad if not worse than a rut, it’s when Jisung goes into heat.

Slightly similar to his partners ruts, it’s uncontrollable and unbearable if nothing is done about it. He could absolutely go on heat suppressants to help lessen the intensity of them. But it doesn’t make them disappear. He’ll still present all the symptoms of being in heat when it swings around, and if he’s especially unlucky, they don’t work.

If that’s the case, Minho and reader have to prepare for their mates heats just as he prepares for their ruts.

Jisung’s can’t withstand his physiological needs and will beg, cry, or both sometimes, for his alphas to fuck him. When they’re not around, it’s not an uncommon occurrence for reader and/or Minho to catch Jisung with an article of clothing from each of them, bought up to his nose as he tries to finger his slick hole on their bed.

The need to be fucked by his alphas surpasses all rationality. His body screams at him to be knotted and bred. So when he again, goes crying to his alphas, sobbing at their feet because his body hurts without them, they don’t hesitate. It’s fairly usual for the two alphas to offer their bodies. To fuck him into the mattress repeatedly, and it’s never just once when he’s in heat. Not even twice. He’s going until his heat ends, which can last for days at a time.

The worst was when Jisung had an irregular heat that lasted for just over a week. It was exhausting for all parties, particularly Jisung. But both alphas had to find and create ways that would satisfy Jisung’s needs until their own stamina replenishes. So Reader and Minho went out to buy sex toys for Jisung to use, which at first, takes the edge off a bit, but it’s not long after until his skin starts crawling with what feels like fire, and the only way to put it out or to satiate it, is if Minho and or reader fucks him until he’s unable to hold a single transient thought in his pretty little head.

Now when Jisung’s heat triggers a rut for either Minho and or Reader, then it’s beneficial for all three of them because they’re getting what they want. Not to mention it’s the most likely and accurate point in time where it’s possible for Minho (and or Reader) to breed Jisung.

Some AU’s suggest that female alphas can’t get male omegas pregnant, some say the opposite - I’ll leave that up to whoever is reading this to decide that for themselves x

[genderlessghoul]

Episode 19482938 of me having Feelings™ and making Phantom pay for it. I do be projecting on that ghoul way to much.

Anyways this one is called "Phantom is a dumbass that doesn't want to use proper binder etiquette and Dew had to scold him for it. There's trans angst in it."

~1.2k

“When's the last time you took your binder off?”

Phantom flinches at the question, tries not to look like he's about to be caught in a lie. He doesn't take his eyes off the tv screen, this is a very serious game of Mario Kart. Dew is unimpressed by his attempt at ignoring the question and walks up to him, hits the button on the controller he knows will pause the game.

“Look me in the eyes, Phantom.”

His tone is commanding, there's no escape possible. The quintessence ghoul sets the controller by his side on the couch and looks up at the fire ghoul. 

“When’s the last time you took your binder off?”

He repeats, annoyance evident in his tone.

“Last night. I don't sleep in it, like you told me to.”

Phantom knows that's not entirely what he meant but he'll be damned (well… more than he already is) if he doesn't try to deflect.

“You know full well that's not what I meant. When's the last time you took a day off from it? And don't even think about lying, I'm the one who does your laundry.”

Phantom shifts in his seat, already done with the conversation. He's not fond of Dew babying him like this all the time.

“Why do you ask, if you already know?”

“Becauuuuse” the fire ghoul starts, crossing his arms over his chest “I want you to be the one to tell me what you're doing to your body. You might not like it but it's the only one you got.”

The younger ghoul slumps back against the couch and rolls his eyes. “I dunno, a week maybe?”

“Try two weeks.”

“Can't have been that long…”

“It has.” Dew's tone gets more firm as he steps fully in front of the other ghoul. Satanas, they can be stupid when they're so fresh. “You need to take days off from it, you can't just wear it for weeks like that.”

“Why not? I'm not sleeping in it, like you said. I'm not wearing it for longer than eight hours, like you said. I'm not doing physical labor in it, like you said. Feels like everything should be fine!”

“Are you trying to fuck up your ribs forever? Because it feels like you're trying to fuck up your ribs forever.”

“I'm trying not to want to jump off the abbey's roof. I thought you understood that well enough.”

Dew takes a deep breath and leans forward to rest his hands on Phantom's shoulder. His eyes focus on the quintessence ghoul's, who refuses to meet his gaze. He tries to soften his voice before he speaks again.

“I do understand, baby boy. But I can't let you be reckless with your own health like that. You gotta take it off now.”

Phantom lets out a sigh before bringing his eyes up to Dew. “I don't like the way it feels when I don't have it on. Especially now, it just… it's just been worse recently.”

“I know, baby. I know. Come, let me show you a thing or two that might help.”

He takes Phantom's hand in his own and gently coaxes him up, pulling him to the fire ghoul's room. He orders him to sit on the bed and take off his shirt and binder while Dew rummages through the drawers in his dresser for something. The quintessence ghoul is slow to obey but he eventually does, taking his t-shirt to hide himself once his top half is bare. 

Dewdrop makes a triumphant noise when he finally finds what he's looking for and turns back to the younger ghoul sitting uncomfortably on the edge of his bed. He raises an eyebrow at him.

“You do know I've seen you naked before, right? Like… multiple times.”

“Like I said… it's been worse.”

Dew's eyes soften on him, he remembers all too well what it was like to get those periods where even acknowledging the two mounds (more like knobs, really, in his own case) of flesh on his chest was too much to bear. “It's okay. You know we're working hard to get a date scheduled. In the meantime, you have to make sure you take care of your stupid lungs.”

He walks back to the bed, piece of fabric in hand and presents it to Phantom. “It's a sports bra. It doesn't do the same job as a binder at all but it'll help on days where you can't wear it. Rain wears one almost all the time now, just 'cuz it's more comfortable.”

Phantom takes it from Dewdrop and takes a moment to examine the piece. It's black and stretchy, but a firm stretch. The straps are thinner than he's used to, he thinks it might become a sensory issue but he wills himself to pull it over his head.

Dew's right, it doesn't do the same job as a binder, but it does help make his chest appear smaller. And it's a lot more comfortable. He tries taking a deep breath and finds no resistance or discomfort at all. He thinks he might get used to it. Dewdrop throws a loose shirt his way.

“Try it with this.”

Phantom obeys and walks over to the mirror mounted on the wall. The swell of his breasts is still noticeable but it's barely there. Enough to last a couple days, he thinks. Enough to give himself a break.

“If you really need to” Dew steps closer to him and settles in his back, watching both their reflection “we can try tape again too. I know it didn't exactly go smoothly last time but it'd be better if you let me help, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Phantom almost chokes on the word. 

Binder, sports bra, loose clothes, tape, so many things with so many rules just to make others see him the way he wants to be seen, just to make him feel better about his own body. His own body. He's seen the way his packmates drip with confidence, the love they have for the way they look. He knows some of them worked harder than others for it but they all have it. All he has is disgust and shame, no amount of hiding will change that. Why was he not summoned properly? Why is his body nothing but wrong?

He gets pulled back to reality by a warm hand turning him around and finding itself resting on his cheek. A thumb wipes away a tear he didn't realize had fallen from his eye.

“Hey, I know how it feels right now. More than most, trust me. I can see right through that look in your eyes, I used to wear the same. I still do sometimes. We do what we can with what we have but sometimes it feels like it's never good enough, like we will never be good enough for us. We are. Never let anyone tell you otherwise, even yourself. You deserve to love yourself, Ant.”

Phantom takes a deep shaky breath to steady himself and nods. “I know. Sometimes theory is just harder than practice.”

Dew smiles at him “We'll work on it then. Now… I believe you had a game of Mario Kart to finish?”

[lunarw0rks]

Hurt/Comfort Alphabet | Simon Riley

A/N: I hope this isn't redundant, because I was trying to be realistic based on his past & the way he interacts with other characters. got this template from @thathcwriter

Warning(s): mentions of Ghost's childhood, insecurities, substance abuse, injury, angst | Word Count: 1.6k

꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ GHOST MASTERLIST ⋆ ⚘ 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ have a request? | ao3 ver. ❀

A: Alleviate - How do they go about relieving persistent physical pain?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Let’s be honest. He self-medicates with alcohol or cigarettes if it’s a persistent enough injury. Either that, or he’ll just find a way to tune it out—something he’s very skilled at by now.

B: Bedridden - How do they behave when they’re sick?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Sick, but not “injured”? He wouldn’t even let it show. His voice is deep and raspy enough already (LMAO) so if he had a cold, would anyone even notice?

C: Cling - Whose physical touch is considered most welcome in their minds when they are in need? Is there a specific type of touch they respond well to?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Being realistic, Simon probably despises physical touch because of his past. Unless it’s someone he’s known or been serious with for a while, physical touch would be null and void. That being said, playing with his hands, or a kiss on his knuckle would probably make him crumble.

D: Deathbed - How would they react if they realized they may not recover from their injuries?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ He’s well acquainted with the prospect of not making it home someday, or sustaining an injury too severe to overcome. He would accept it because he thinks that’s what he deserves :(

▹ He’d fight it as much as he could, and wouldn’t want anyone to see him that way. Conversations would be shorter, coarser, and even more depressive than his usual way of engaging with others.

E: Emergency - What is their gut reaction when someone they care about is hurt?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ He jumps to the worst conclusions if he got wind of something happening to you. Too many of his loved ones/colleagues have ended up dead for him not to.

▹ Remember how he reacted when Soap got shot in the arm? Yeah… multiply that by ten and add some fury to the mix. ▹ Especially if it pertained to his work, he’d think it’s his fault (in the case of Civilian S/O). If you were also a soldier, he’d take a more frustrated/protective route, lecturing you on your “carelessness”.

F: Fight - Are there circumstances under which they would not accept treatment or care? If so, what are they? 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ If it was in the middle of a mission, or minor enough that it felt ridiculous to tend to. If someone on his team/or his S/O was in worse condition, he wouldn’t even let the medic touch him.

G: Ghosts - How has their past shaped the kind of comfort they respond to best? 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Being mocked and trained to not show vulnerability is his entire being, and he hates himself more for that. He doesn’t want to brood or miss out on things because of his childhood, but the ghost of his father looms heavy on every decision he makes—like a constant, sinister devil on his shoulder.

▹ He’s felt that way so long that he’s grown used to it, and doesn’t know who he is even when he takes the mask off at the end of the day.

H: Home - What things (objects, sensations, or people) remind them they’re safe after a scary situation?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ His colleagues, if anything. Soap being his ride-or-die, and a S/O that knows every reason for why he’s so walled up. If he has a picture of that person tucked away in his wallet, or an object they gave them (bracelet, card, etc.) he’d keep it in his desk drawer for safekeeping.

I: Isolation - How do they soothe themselves when no one is around to soothe them?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Just like the response on “A” —he self-medicates with substances, or boxing in the training room until his fists are raw.

J: Joy - When was the first time they were truly happy after going through something terrible?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ For many years, he wasn’t “happy” at all, didn’t even know what that felt like. There were moments where he was distracted enough to not be thinking about his past experiences, but not permanent ignorance.

▹ Seeing his S/O after an injury that forced him on medical leave would be the only exception. He hates being away from work, but the silver lining is getting to be home with that person for (X) amount of recovery time.

K: Kindness - Do they believe they deserve the comfort they receive? Why or why not? 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Hell no. Simon doesn’t for a minute think he deserves comfort, even though deep down he’s craved it for so long. Even if the person he’s with told him a thousand times, he would never believe it. He accepts it as more of a service to his S/O, rather than to soothe himself.

L: Levity - What or who helps them take their mind off of the circumstances? 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ 90% of it is his work because when you’re being shot at, you’re only thinking about not getting shot. The other 10% would be working out, drinking, etc… Not exactly taking his mind off things completely, but enough to do it temporarily.

M: Music - Is there a song that comforts them? Why is it comforting to them?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ He only listens to music to fill his ears when he’s stressed, or doing paperwork. For comfort? Nothing he listens to would give that to him, let’s be real.

N: Nostalgia - What things that comforted them as a kid still work today? Does anyone know that? 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Much like his adolescent years, his comfort is everyone else’s silence. He doesn’t like being fussed over or poked at. The concept of “comfort” just isn’t something he knows. With the right person, he might find comfort in them—their quirks, their sense of humor, etc.

O: Overworked - Who or what tells them to stop working and take care of themselves?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Price has probably tried, or has to at least once a week.

▹ Something along the lines of: “Get some rest, Simon”—most likely met with a blank stare as he continues working through the night. Simon only rests when he needs to refuel, or something more important happens.

P: Please - Have they ever begged someone to comfort or stay with them? What was that incident like?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Before he met his S/O? Never in a million years. After? Probably only when he’s inebriated and needs someone to be with him, just until the problem passes, or you give your attempt at comforting him.

Q: Questions - Are they eager to talk about what or why they’re hurting? Why or why not?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ No - he’d jump off a cliff before he talks about his past with just anyone. It would take years before he tells someone what happened to him. In the back of his mind, he’s expecting the person to laugh at him, or reveal his insecurities :(

R: Relief - How do they react to the realization that they will soon be fully recovered? 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ He’s practically pacing back and forth until his medical leave is lifted—the medical leave he most likely bickered about placing him on at all.

S: Scared - What would it take for them to admit that they’re scared? 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ If something serious enough happened, or a near-death experience with either himself or you that gives him a wakeup call. One of the hardest things for him to do would be to admit he’s frightened, especially with how much loss he’s already experienced.

T: Time - How long does it take for them to feel better after an ordeal or illness? Do they tend to lie about how soon they feel better?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ As soon as he’s mobile, he’s back to work (if it was something disabling). If not, he’d push his way through it and keep working. Surely, to his S/O’s disapproval, but he feels like he’s damned to constant punishment.

U: Ugly - What part of their recovery process are they ashamed of, if any?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Being reliant on another person physically, if necessary. Injuries come with the job, he knows that, but he would absolutely hate it.

V: Valiant - Has anyone told them they were brave for facing what they did? How would they react if someone did? 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Let’s be real—most of us want to reassure him and his bravery, as has Price and Soap a million times (although they’re doing it in more of a “that was badass” kinda way). To be able to go through so much, and still be so resilient is almost unsettling. But brave, nonetheless.

▹ He would brush it off and likely change the subject :((

W: Why? - How did they process what happened to them?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ He never fully processes an injury, including physical pain—especially if it’s a stray bullet or knife wound. Unless it was something especially gruesome, he’s got a high pain tolerance.

X: Xenas - Do they see anyone as an inspiration in their recovery? Does their inspiration know about this? 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ (N/A - I don’t think it fits Simon if I’m being honest).

Y: Yearn - What gesture, person, or thing do they desperately want, but would never actually ask for? 

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ This will probably hurt some feelings… He wants his mother, more than anything he wants his mom. He only got so much time with her, and those years were the worst of his childhood. She’s probably the only person he knows he truly wants, but can’t have.

▹ As I mentioned before, if he was serious about someone he was dating, he might want some comfort, but he would almost never explicitly ask for it.

Z: Zero - What is the best way to comfort them without touching them?

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ Words of affirmation would be your best bet.

▹ Physical touch is iffy, and he’d only allow it if he truly trusted the person. If you give the man praise, he’d hide his feelings until he was alone, and would probably think about it for the rest of the week—even if it was just an offhand compliment.

[elucubrare]

i'm conceptually pretty down for the prequel as a mode of storytelling - i think it's a fun exercise to show how the worldstate of the original work came about, and when it's about a specific character, I think it's a good reason to do a character study. that said, my reaction to mentor prequels tends to be "but why tho"

I think that's because

when mentors are interesting, it tends to be because a) they have goals that have some kind of mismatch with those of their mentee; b) they have a past with hints of seediness (or worse), especially in contrast to their current image; c) they have skills that are extraordinary in their intensity or their eclecticism; d) they're generally enigmatic and inscrutable.

Thus, it seems like it should be possible to write a prequel exploring either their past or how they acquired their skills, and it's not impossible, to be sure!

However, making the mentor the main character of the prequel tends to take some of the narrative interest of both the idea of prequels and the mentor themself. "how did the Archwizard become Archwizard?" well, probably they gained a lot of experience in magic somehow, or did a lot of political manipulation in their order.* Mentors tend not to have a lot of history, so we have to invent a backstory. Ok, so they came from rags to riches and forced their way into the Mage's Order. Then they did a bunch of cool things. Which is all fine! But by becoming a more straighforward coming of age and adventure story, it loses a lot of the pull of a prequel. 3a. I think there's room in there for the mentor to be doing cool stuff while the forces of history that create the problems their mentee will deal with are slowly moving pieces into place, but honestly that's really hard to pull off in a way i feel is satisfying.

I am thinking of this directly in contrast to villain prequels, which I think are, at least, conceptually more interesting. "what are the specific choices that led a person to become the specific villain they are in the main story" is a story i think has more meat to it than "how did a hero get their skills," if only because the second doesn't need to be attached to a specific preexisting story.

I also think that a lot of cool things in mentors' backstories are cooler if you don't see them on page - "That's Orstariy, who held the bridge at Terion, and who diced all night with a demon prince for the king's soul" is a complete story that I don't think is more fun with more elaboration, & in fact without more details lets me create the legend in my head, while showing it piece by piece would make it more ordinary.

In any case. It's not that it's impossible to write a good mentor backstory, I just feel like without a good reason to exist, they don't really capitalize on the parts of the concept of the prequel that I think are most dramatically juicy.

__ *honestly i would be pretty down for the Archwizard as mostly political office - it's not like the president of a university is the Best Scholar there

[o-craven-canto]

Upon being tagged by @wellmetmat; thanks for thinking of me! I hope you'll pardon me if I don't tag anyone additional just yet.

1. What virtue do you most often see in other people that you feel comparatively deficient in?

First of all, self-confidence, absolutely. I think the shame centers in my brain are accidentally wired to fire at ten times the expected intensity. A minuscule rebuke can make my whole day worse, however objective I try to be about it, and more often than not I feel just barely tolerated by the people around me, even though I'm fairly sure that that is not actually the case. The #1 advice I get from my coworkers is "you need to get better at self-promotion".

Close second, constancy. You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff in my backlog (or maybe you would, it's probably not all that extraordinary an amount). At the very least I should be doing more work on my main long-term creative projects: my future-history novel, and my Ea worldbuilding, both of which are years behind schedule. Though in my defense I'm also doing a PhD, which I'm also somewhat behind with but not ruinously so, so there's that.

2. Show us an object in your daily life that you have an emotional attachment to - tell us a little bit about it if you want! (a favourite mug perhaps? socks with a cute pattern? dealers choice)

Well. I have here this old wallet in blue denim-like cloth, which has absolutely nothing distinctive or particularly endearing, but I've had it since I was in middle school or about there, so. Had it pickpocketed a couple years ago, and I mourned the wallet a lot more than the money, but the thief had at least the decency of leaving it where it would be soon found, with all documents in order, which I guess was nice of them. (They must have had a nasty surprise when they realized the wallet's impressive thickness was almost entirely old receipts and train tickets I hadn't gotten around to throwing away yet).

3. If you could choose, what level of fame would you want? How many people would you want to recognise you?

Hmm, probably some mild subsubcultural level. The point where two blogs can exchange a few posts discussing my work, or where a few people may comment under a story "this reminds me of Concavenator's style". Anything above that would probably take too much attention end energy, and those grapes look sour anyway. This is probably not outside my grasp, especially if I make some progress on that "constancy" thing.

4. Where do you feel language is least adequate to capture, communicate, or express your experience?

You could argue that this question is, by definition, impossible to answer! But to actually try, I do have some extremely strong feelings about biological life, evolution, extinction, and deep time, which I've tried to express in various ways over the years, never quite to my satisfaction. Actually, I've never seen anyone express them satisfactorily yet. I guess it's kind of a mystical thing. You look at mountains and you see them swell and warp under the strain of a continent crawling north. These words I've just written are not adequate. It will sound like a weird niche interest but it's genuinely a major part of what I see when I look around.

5. If you had to come up with a question with the following criteria:

a) it should disuade knee-jerk reaction answers (i.e. it shouldn't be something people are likely to have spent a lot of time considering before)

b) it shouldn't be too specialised (the audience should be general, don't ask about people's top 3 byzantine spice merchants opperating between 754AD-816AD)

c) it shouldn't be needlessly emotionally charged or divisive

d) it should be a question you expect people to have lots of varied opinions about

What would your question be?

Hmm. How about this: if for the rest of your life hereon you could only communicate directly with X people, what would be the smallest value for X for which you'd be satisfied?

[catchyhuh]

TOUCH O THE TISM

lupin’s brain is fucked up! let’s talk about it

and i mean TALK talk about it baby. everyone’s experience with their brain makeup shit is different, and there are many different “symptoms”/traits that tend to overlap between. are they still called mental illnesses. states of mind. conditions? awugh no that sounds even worse. WHATEVER THIS IS ME SAYING this is less about the medical diagnoses, this is just the manifestations of SOME type of neurodivergency that shine through in their weirdo behaviors, habits, and mindscapes. now let’s really go here:

lupin: 

we have discussed before his uncanny ability to shut down literally everything to hyperfixate on one task. sometimes for weeks at a time like IN canon, IN canon he will do this shit and not stop until a) he’s reached his goal/the endpoint, or b) he is physically forcibly removed from the subject in question

this will sound nuts to you but i think lupin is sound sensitive. yes i know but listen. he’s always the first to wince/recoil at a loud sound, even if he’s not TRULY bothered by it-- ex: zenigata shouts, lupin KNOWS he’s going to shout, anticipates the volume, even, but still tenses up, even though he’s grinning and actively enjoying the fact that he brought that upon himself. so, to balance that, lupin has decided he’s just going to be louder than whatever’s out there that could bother him. you may have noticed the company he shares hotel rooms with is almost always reserved and quiet unless he is the one instigating and encouraging the rowdiness. boom baby case and point.

all in all it’s surprisingly only something you notice if you spend a significant amount of time around him. he’s autistic i promise. its just. well. he’s hyperfixated on cash and his special interest is getting bitches

jigen:

jigen is very picky. and i mean cheers i’ll drink to that. nobody touch him. nobody speak too loud. nobody fuck with how he likes his drink. nobody touch his gun (you’ll mess it up) NOBODY DO ANYTHING. save for a very, very select few. 

light sensitive. not very shocking given the fact his hat is almost more of a signature item for him than his magnum but ANYWAY! it’s why he’s so particular that it must be HIS hat!! the thickness, the way it sits, the way it shadows his eyes especially, all of this is important. “but wait” you could hypothetically maybe be saying, “wouldn’t that extend to his bangs? in the whole shielding him from the light sense. wouldn’t it just make more sense if he always kept his bangs over his eyes like that?” yes! you’re so right if you were saying that! i don’t know why you would be but regardless. uh, yeah, it would make the most sense for him to ALWAYS have them pushed over his eyes, but. have you ever sacrificed comfort for fashion. that slicked back look is NICE dude

all n all jigen is the “‘Nobody had Autism until recently’ right cuz your grandpa who only wore the same type of shirt, took the same sandwich to work every day and knows everything about the inner workings of a 1979 Ferrari was SO neurotypical” meme. 

fujiko:

absolute. crown champ of masking. what the fuck. i don’t even think she herself has realized because all of it has been pushed down for so long. which part of this might just be, sorry if this is too realistic and boring but like. diagnosis sexism? people do not notice neurodivergent traits in girls as easily. or that’s what they SAY but they somehow schoolyard bullies can pick up on it very easily! point being, they say that with girls it tends to manifest as talkativeness in the right environments, but when suppressed in those formative years, those girls grow up into women who have a million things to say but only say two of them, meaning her mind is just SWIMMING with insane thoughts and shit. that’s how you get fujikos bro. you have to let that little girl be weird and explain spyro the dragon in exact detail to you or she’ll grow up to be a calculated murderer/world famous thief

now if you actually brought it up she would dismiss you and make some remark like “not wanting polyester to touch your skin isn’t a sensory issue, it’s a lifestyle choice” which. ok yeah haha good one fujicakes but i’ve noticed that you tend to favor dresses/shirts that leave your arms free without any fabric brushing on them, and for someone who’s so focused on the VALUE of fashion you’re cutting the insewn tags off these clothes..? what’s that about baby where did that come from? yeah the joke about “oh yes i totally wear heels because i hate my soles touching the ground, not because i just happen to love high fashion” was funny but you actually do tend to walk around on the balls of your feet barefoot too. that’s not good for you fujiko that can do damage to the nerves in your legs (yes really if you’re reading this and you do that it can cause permanent issues in your legs SO TRY TO BREAK THAT HABIT IF POSSIBLE)

also traces of hyperfixating, just not as obviously visible as it is with lupin. with fujiko it’s almost undercover. like, reading her phone under the table, just happening to suggest watching this one movie that happened to be praised for how accurately it replicates the layout of this one museum the gang has been thinking about infiltrating, a few hyperspecific books mixed in with standard romance schlock she’s most definitely not reading from the library just to pad out that receipt. it’s not so much a conscious choice to microdose feeding the beast so to speak, it’s more that she’s forced herself to commit more to her image than anything, so she’s accidentally pacing herself like that

goemon:

MENTIONED BEFORE BUT WE BELIEVE IN TOUCH AVERSE GOEMON IN THIS HOUSE! DO NOT BE BUGGING THIS GUY SLINGING YOUR ARM AROUND HIS SHOULDER OR YOU WILL GET CHOPPED IN THE GUT!! unless you are one of a select few (are you noticing a trend with the collection here) might also partially be a texture thing too, because i can’t think of another reason someone would subject themselves to the insanely uncomfortable plan of wearing your normal clothes UNDER a tuxedo despite the fact you have to squeeze that giant billowing fabric in there

“bbububut i thought autistic people struggled with eye contact” not goemon ishikawa the 13th bitch. you are getting intensely stared at like a claw machine just barely dangling the prize over the pit. he wants you to know he’s paying attention! he’s listening! sure he might be paying attention to see if he can pick up on nervous tics to tell if you’re lying, and maybe he’s listening that intently to catch you when you slip up, BUT HEY, we don’t know that! to his credit goemon only SOMETIMES realizes how intimidating this can be, and only SOMETIMES intentionally weaponizes it, but… still, very intense eye contact

hell man aside from his stubbornness and pride even his picky food taste might tie into this a bit. anybody who’s been hooked on one specific “safe food” for like two months gets it, especially the fact that goemon can instantly tell when the food is “wrong.” if you cooked this meat for two seconds too long, if you didn’t let the rice sit long enough, if you cheaped out and used some generic alternative-- well on that last one he might not blame you as much because this economy IS pretty rough, but the point is, he can immediately tell and WILL tell the chef to their face “you did this wrong. do better next time.” unfortunately most people don’t take kindly to that and because of goemon’s nature when he’s caught off guard he’ll go “sorry. sorry just let me… let me show you i suppose” and next thing he knows he’s teaching an impromptu cooking course. we went kinda off the rails on this one didn’t we. oops!

zenigata:

if monkey punch meant it when he said “zenigata can’t be stupid, because that would mean lupin is stupid,” then because lupin is insane, zenigata must also, naturally, be insane, in some of the same flavors

the main thing about him is that he’s so damn resilient he doesn’t actually SAY anything unless he really wants to complain. he might be thinking “god why is cottage cheese like this. this is kind of gross” but he’ll still EAT it, “the sun is WAY too bright and i lost my hat AGAIN this fucking SUCKS” but he’s stlil going to be outside because he knows he HAS to be out there. toughing it out and only SLIGHTLY whining about it. really the only time he makes it known outside of offhanded grumbly complaints is when lupin is the source of it. if lupin is like bouncing his leg in the passenger side of the cop car (because god forbid he stuff him in the backseat right) zenigata just grabs his knee and stares at him until lupin is like “oh oops! sorry. is that distracting?” and then 10 minutes later he starts it up again. the line between ‘this is driving my brain insane’ and ‘i just have beef with anything that brings you, personally, delight” is very thin

but ironically zenigata can’t stay still very long himself either. if he’s been stuck sitting for more than 25 minutes he can feel his insides shrinking up and withering away. maybe that’s why he chews on shit like a hyena gnawing off its own leg to escape predators. anything to get the zoomies out dude. 

i don’t have to tell you that this bitch is also dangerously intensely hyperfixating right. i don’t have to go into this? like you. we’re looking at the same guy here. right? okay. so long as this point is understood

[heckthis-heckallofthis]

CaWF characters and (in my opinion) their cooking skills

Squad leader: The food he makes is absolutely amazing, very good and very healthy. He does not compromise on his nutrition as it's important to him. 10/10 he only eats outside if he's lazy to cook

2145: He does not care at all for how good, healthy or appealing his food is. It's whatever. He would eat a raw egg whole for breakfast, he would ask you if you want one too. Worst case scenario 2/10 best case scenario 5/10

IM1235: Decent, she could make a meal and it would be pretty good. As a red blood cell her sweetness tolerance is higher than most, so her dishes are probably very sweet. 8/10 kinda dishes if you don't mind the glucose

Reg T: Doesn't cook a lot but she probably wouldn't mess up if you gave her a recipe. She doesn't really know what to add to a dish to make it any better or what to avoid so it doesn't become worse. 6/10 at least it's edible and you won't hate it too much

HT: His taste for food is insane. He can make food that he enjoys but if you tried it you would question everything you know about him. 2/10 order your own food than rely on him.

B Cell: Surprisingly good, he would get infinitely more maidens if he were to show them his cooking skills rather than invite them to parties or the like, he can do both baking and cooking, very good for him. 8/10 in general

Memory Cell: I'd imagine he was the one who taught B cell his skills, prefers bitter tastes over sweet ones, 7-9/10 depending on how similar your taste is to his

Mast Cell: Terrible. He can only do cup noodles. All his effort goes into Cellor-sun, not self preservation. 1/10 if you were to make him make an actual dish.

Eosinophil: I like to imagine she can bake pretty well, but her cooking is more or less average. Baking 10/10 cooking 6/10

NK: She is prepared for every scenario her little head can think of, taught herself cooking because what if she gets stranded and lost out in the wilderness?! 7/10 She will not risk herself dying from food poisoning

Dendritic Cell: Surprisingly horrendous. You do not expect a sweet guy who has good sewing and knitting skills be this bad at cooking, so it makes it all the more worse. 0/10 always eats with his colleagues who can cook or goes outside to eat.

M cell: A bartender who sells food on the regular definitely knows how to do it. Maybe his depression dampened his skills but it's very good, the bad reviews on his shop never mention the cooking, only his personality after all. 10/10 KT is on par with him which is why he only asks KT to help him at the bar sometimes.

3033: If you gave him the recipe, he'd find a way to mess up something (he doesn't even know how it goes wrong). He gets frustrated at it so he doesn't do it that much, at least he can make instant noodles with a few extra bits here and there. 3/10, he wishes he could do something about it.

Cross: Surprisingly very good. Maybe it's a hobby of his, maybe it's just him trying to imitate his squad leader, who knows. Good at improvising with ingredients, especially since the budget at the T cell station is so limited, he has to make whatever work. 9/10 he could somehow make bacteria taste decent

[cosmics-beings]

to me at least it's always interesting seeing people condemn megatron for starting his revolt, especially when looking at tfp or idw megatron. while i really can't excuse the shitfire the deception movement became, people getting mad at him or not really understanding why megatron snapped or why he was angry at opitmus in prime for getting the primeship or why he went violent in idw...it just shows that a lot of people don't understand a) that he was a slave and b.) revolutions aren't really won peacefully.

but going back to point a.), especially in prime, the alternative for megatron was either fighting in the gladiatorial pit until he was eventually killed, or going back to slavery. while he did get his glory in the rings of kaon, there was still very much a dynamic of, he had to do this, and eventually die doing it and before that, he was a miner, a slave.

when megatron invited optimus into his space and taught him, he was very vulnerable and allowed an outsider, someone who had privilege over him, to be in his circle and to be close to him. someone who understood the oppression he faced by the primes and by the caste system, someone who was still privileged, but someone who he trusted. and someone who also knew what he had to lose if he didn't win his revolution, or if he wasn't given the position of the prime. and more importantly, megtaron assumed that optimus was someone who understood that peaceful protests and activism weren't going to work for someone like him, a slave. so mind you, when it came down to it, and opitmus was seen as the better candidate for a prime simply because he was peaceful and megatron wasn't...well...shit i'd lost my shit too. because again, the alternatives for megatron in his mind, if he did not become a prime, were slavery - whether a miner or gladiator. optimus had nothing to lose, no stakes in the same way megatron did.

so of course he snapped, of course he went evil. people try to frame it as "he started getting violent because he was upset that optimus got what he wanted' and no that wasn't the case at all. it was far more than it being something he wanted, it was something he needed. something that was going to grant him freedom and happiness and the ability to make a difference. mind you, i'd snap too.

idw is similiar. he had to make a revolt, he was a slave. he had tried peace and it didn't work, in fact whirl beat the shit out of him for being peaceful and that radicalized him. but then people feel bad for whirl

it's always interesting to me, to see fans tend to brush over why he did what he did, or call him selfish or stupid and not realizing that his freedom and bodily autonomy was on the line. this is REALLY shown in IDW.

in idw if he was caught and if he wasn't executed or imprisoned, they'd probably fuck with his mind to make him a slave again.

i say as I'm writing a fic with this premise and he is eventually broken out of that and given help and support by people he loves and the revolution is started differently

anyway, this isn't an excuse for how he completely falls off later. he becomes a tyrant, a facists, and oppressor he becomes everything he hated if not worse, much worse. and he needs to be stopped. he doesn't care about the war, that much is extremely clear in both idw and tfp. he only cares about getting to optimus, making him hurt, making him hate/blame himself, killing those close to optimus and continuously ruining his life. in idw CLEARLY he changes and becomes a good person. in tfp...eh...

but my point is, i don't think people really understand that his bodily autonomy and rights were on the line.

do i think some stuff can be said about how harmful the oppressed oppressor narrative is, yes, but that's not for this post.

[mad-hunts]

details about ocs! // 🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits? (and/or) 🍝 SPAGHETTI — what is/are your oc's favourite food(s)?

ASK MEME - details about oc's!

hello, hello, @oculusxcaro! i really appreciate you sending me this meme through my inbox — allow me to first address three of barton's more neutral / questionable traits. so, this may not be a surprise, but barton is definitely a bit... eccentric. i mean, especially to outsiders who do not know the true inner workings of his 'family business,' as he does actually make normal dolls as well. and so he does live up to his moniker ( the dollmaker ) in more ways than one. as to why barton makes actual dolls as well as his more twisted creations, part of it is because the cloth dolls seem to serve a role in his grotesque dollmaking: he came up with the idea to insert hidden messages in these dolls with information about the main victim that the prospective cloth doll is 'modeling,' so to speak ( so they'd essentially be a carbon copy of the doll he made using a real person, except while they were alive ) because some of his clients started to express a desire to feel more connected with the 'doll.' and he thought this would be a good way to keep their business. though, now he does it for everyone who purchases a ' doll. ' which is absolutely horrifying to think about, of course, but barton has also taken to creating cloth and / or different kinds of dolls as a hobby since winslow ( his surrogate father ) was a toymaker and it reminds him of the man.

plus, winslow was the person to teach him everything he knows regarding how to make the dolls in the first place, so he feels somewhat guilty for just using them for his own... less than savory purposes. but yeah, that is one way that barton is eccentic, and another would be that he can be surprisingly playful sometimes. however, if you are a stranger or if he doesn't know you very well in general, you aren't very likely to see this side of him. his playful / teasing side is mostly reserved for his closer friends, his family members and his romantic partner. like, just imagine the kind of playfulness that comes with completely catching someone off guard by suddenly saying ' trust fall ' out of absolute NOWHERE and letting yourself fall backwards, which leads the other person into a state of panic but then barton catching himself at the last moment. and him being like, ' ahhh, you really thought i was gonna fall back in hopes you would catch me only so i can crack my head open, didn't you? i wouldn't do that. i mean, look at those stick arms. we're gonna have to start calling you skelly if you don't get any meat on those. ' ( lol... )

so, there's no malice behind it, he really just jokes around with the people in his more tight-knit circle sometimes. as for what i'd say a second neutral trait of his is, is that he's a very ambitious person. barton strived for nothing less than A's and maybe the occasional one or two B's whenever it came to high school because he wanted to get into the best medical school that he could in the future — and this carried on into his premed years, though he might've suffered from an extreme case of burnout because of this during his junior year. this was also around the time that his past girlfriend, auriel, disappeared however. so that kind of added onto the situation and made it worse. anyhow, barton has always tried to strive to be the best at his job, despite it being completely wrong morally and has grown somewhat of a reputation with gotham's underground for being one of the best people to go to if you can't go to the hospital ( either because you have committed a crime or a myriad of other reasons ) , but you still want top-quality medical care.

thirdly, and last but certainly not least, is the fact that barton is bold. he is the kind of person in which, if someone tells him not to do something in a bad situation because it's too dangerous or what have you, that he will do it anyway. and despite him generally not being a good father as a rule, he has demonstrated a desire to protect his children over all else in a few situations. which is a rather fearless thing to do when you're being held at gunpoint or outnumbered. his former boss, in particular, had wanted to kill one of his children as punishment for trying to leave him but barton said ' nope, that's not happening, ' and hopped right in front of them. needless to say, they both ended up getting out of that situation alive, but yeah.

another way in which barton is bold is he will stand up to people if they try to hurt his friends and although his definition of friends is... a bit different than normal, to say the least. and this is because barton can very well feel cognitive empathy towards them even if he has difficulty with empathizing with them on an emotional level. once again, it just kind of depends on how close you are to him, but barton has this funny way of appearing as if he doesn't care about someone at all but will turn around and scare off any people who attempt to torment certain people in his life. but anyhow... i'm getting a bit off-track here. i hope this was very informative as to what some of barton's neutral traits are!

[spookyboywhump]

Just a. Weird little thing with Zander and Nicholas

CW: pet whump, blood, beatings

***

Even though he should’ve been used to rough treatment by Nicholas, it never got any easier, no matter how much he tried to tell himself it eventually would.

A lot of it was things he was used to, just, from other people, be that Cain or Vanessa, but he knew it was different from Nicholas. While he didn’t think the other two were especially kind to him, he understood that they didn’t seem to hate him, or in Cain’s case, he didn’t hate him all the time. But Nicholas was different from them, every time he looked at him Zander could see absolute hatred in his eyes, everything he did to him seemed to be motivated by anger and spite, making the situation all the more painful for Zander. If he thought about it later, he would roll his eyes, he’d think it’s pathetic, Nicholas had so much control and yet he still felt threatened by him? He’d be able to think of how truly ridiculous it was when he wasn’t actively suffering the consequences of that man’s attitude towards him.

He hated that tears filled his eyes, even though he could reason that it was an involuntary response to being hit in the face. He’d clasped his hands over his face, as if it would stop the blood gushing from his nose, he knew it was broken, he was familiar with the feeling by now. He didn’t think Nicholas had hit him that hard ever before, even in prior beatings he’d come out bruised and bloodied but usually nothing would be broken. It had only taken a single, brutal hit to his face, leaving him knelt on the floor, trying to glare up at him angrily. It was hard to look intimidating when he was holding his face the way he was, tears running down his cheeks, but he didn’t have to look intimidating, he’d already lost, he just wanted Nicholas to know he wasn’t scared of him, he was furious.

“You look even more pathetic when you try to act scary, you know that?” Nicholas said, a hint of amusement in his voice. He was looking down on him like he was satisfied with his work, like he’d finally put him in his place. It wouldn’t satisfy him for long, days, maybe even hours later he’d be angry with him again for simply existing, and he’d make that very clear to him. “But you’re a lot more appealing like this too. You have very pretty eyes for such a worthless mutt.” He said, like he was just trying to make him uncomfortable. If that’s what he was trying for, he succeeded, it made his skin crawl anytime Nicholas felt “nice” enough to give him something resembling a compliment.

“Shut the fuck up.” He muttered, too exhausted to snap at him the way he would’ve liked to. He didn’t want to admit defeat, but he was tired, and it was just the two of them, nobody he had to protect, nobody he had to prove he could protect.

“Hm, and are you going to make me?” Nicholas teased him. He knew there wasn’t anything he could do in this state, and he loved it, as if he only liked Zander when he was broken down and vulnerable. He seemed to only be of any use to him when he felt completely useless to himself.

Zander didn’t want to grace him with a response, he looked away from him, trying to wipe away the tears and blood that had stained his face. He realized he wasn’t very successful, he was just smearing blood everywhere as it had covered his hands as well, and he felt about as pathetic as Nicholas said he was, pathetic and disgusting and just stupid. His face ached already, he knew it would be far worse tomorrow but as he sniffled, trying to hold back more tears, he made the softest whine in the back of his throat, it felt like everything was just another slap to the face. Of course Nicholas picked up on it immediately, he knelt down beside him, Zander flinched as he gently ran a hand through his hair, brushing it out of his face. Sometimes gentle contact felt more like a threat than violence, especially from Nicholas.

“Oh, you poor thing.” He said, the line between sympathy and faux sympathy blurred as usual with him. “You know I just love doing this to you, but it really is easy to avoid. You’ll learn someday.” He told him, and Zander tried to pull away, only for Nicholas to grab him by the hair and roughly pull him back, holding him in place so he wouldn’t move again. “Until then, I’m happy to teach you this lesson as many times as it takes.” He said, and Zander felt like he meant that, he felt certain that this would never get old for Nicholas. The thought made him ill. He didn’t want to break first.

[klebald]

no worries! I'm glad you got some sleep, or are getting sleep if you're still sleeping.

yeah, I am!! it's fun but also really tiring physically. I can NOT tell you how many times I've come home with sore legs, whether that's from marching or PT (essentially phys. ed but 10x worse). it's easier, yes, and a lot quieter. though, I do still prefer wearing hearing protection while on the range. as for the army - truthfully, I don't want to join. if I end up joining the military, which is unlikely do to me being autistic and the military not exactly liking disabled people, I'm gonna join the navy.

I agree. minecraft is the most regular game, in my opinion. I hope you get to play soon!! :) how did DDR go? scenic walks are the best, honestly. I think the highway can be scenic, in some cases. maybe! my cat used to follow me wherever I went (I had to stop him from getting on the school bus with me multiple times, it was crazy) so he stayed pretty thin, so I don't know. they make cat leashes apparently. if you do decide to bring him, be careful not to let him get lost :)./lh

I think I describe them as little accomplishments because I've seen so much better — from myself and others. who knows. I'm glad you find it inspiring!! :) I often don't have the energy, especially after theatre. I'm doing tech this show, which is arguably more tiring. you're on your feet the whole show and get next to no time to sit down for a second or get some water. it's fun though, don't get me wrong. those are typically my days where I run less. my most is currently 9 miles over the course of a few hours, including taking breaks.

I hope so. you seem very indifferent about it, I honestly am jealous about it. I'd be freaking out. I also listen to rock!! mainly 'softer' rock, i guess is the term. specifically Red Hot Chili Peppers and Sublime, though some argue it falls more under the ska category. I think it can go in both, so do with that what you will. I'm usually either listening to rock, r&b, or midwest emo. I heart mccafferty 🙂. this is quite a bit longer than I had intended. I've noticed that as we continue to talk, our asks get longer.

I am getting back to this pretty late, I suppose that means that I did sleep well. Physical exhaustion can be fun in certain circumstances, and to me, that sounds like one of them. I didn't realize that you also marched. Between that, shooting, and the array of other things that we have discussed, you seem skilled in the aspect of busying yourself, and finding ways to minimize how inconvenient that might be. I also dislike how loud shooting can be. The Army, in truth, I wouldn't want to join, either. It is a lot of work, most things are, and being in the same circumstance as yourself, I would likely not be allowed to in the first place. Both the Navy and the Army may go on to fascinate me from afar, militia holds an allure I shall only watch over. If you decide on pursuing the Navy, which you do not seem entirely keen on, I hope that it treats you favorably. DDR was very fun, by the way, as I assume Minecraft to be for you. I am getting better and better with time, I have been "practicing" at home with timing by playing other rhythm games using my fingers - I would like to get a StepManiaX pad one day, it would mean I could play at home, though unfortunately, that would require having a PC. The highway that I have in mind is not incredibly photogenic, however, everything else in my surroundings makes up for it. Our cats seem to be vastly different, my poor boy will barely climb onto my bed to see me when I visit (though I am guessing that is because he wants to be picked up and held like a baby), and yet yours will follow you to the school bus. Incredibly contrasting. Miss Luca is much better about doing things on her own, she expresses independence in the way you would actually assume a cat to. Even if I would never, ever take Hercules outside in my right mind, on a leash or not, as you taught me of their existance, though he would look quite silly, it is fun to pretend he's so terribly obese that he needs to go on mandated walks. Considerate of us, hehehe.

To some, what they consider to be walking up a hill is to a passerby scaling a mountain. I certainly find your routine to be more extensive than my own, hence my awe. Allow yourself some credit, you are the better that you see in others to many. I do not think that I will have theatre for quite some time, however, I do have film production next semester, meaning I might happen upon similar circumstance working in tech. I hope that I get to focus on sound design and, you know, all of the behind-the-scenes button pressing stuff at some point, being the sound guy sounds just as fun as filming to me. I wish you the best of luck in manning the tech yourself! Let yourself rest after the fact, you are obviously deserving of it. Nine miles of running sounds exhausting as only an understatement; I could not imagine what being on stage like that is like if you are able to do that. Your endurance is enviable. My indifference on the situation stems from the fact it cannot possibly go anywhere else. It is said and done, bluntly. On the topic of music, soft rock is something that I enjoy quite a bit of myself. Sublime and Red Hot Chili Peppers I listen to quite a bit, moreso Sublime, but whatever you would call it, Soft Rock or Ska, I find myself partial to. It's great. If you like Sublime, you should listen to 311. They sound incredibly similar, even if Eric Harris hates them, LOLOL. I think R&B is one of the only genres I cannot get myself into as fully as the other things that I listen to, but that isn't to say at times I don't tolerate it. Midwest emo I am shamefully interested in, every couple of months... Mom Jeans, La Dispute, et. cetera. It is not always my thing. Right now, I've been listening to a lot of Sonic Youth and too much Ministry. Sonic Youth is on as I am writing this, writing music is too easy not to rely on. As long as we both made these, I cannot say I mind very much. You are forgiven! I haven't much to say, in reality, but I tried to make this about as long as you did while also "keeping it short", nonsensical, I know. I hope that your day has been well today!

[kyusakku]

A big ole YAP session

Saw a post on ig where it said something along the lines of "If you were reincarnated as the character on your pfp in the Shibuya incident wyd?" (I have rayne ames on ig we ball)

Here's what I would do:

Firstly, there are many things to consider. The power systems are very different so this would hinge on the fact that I (as Rayne) may or may not be able to see curses.

In the case I cannot, I would have to Toji this shit and see if magic would be able to enhance my senses to the degree where I would be able to sense curses. (In the manga, Rayne was able to physically enhance his body to prevent himself from getting fatally wounded, I figure if I could specify which aspect of the body to enhance (like eyes for example) maybe I could work around it)

OR I can see curses cuz I'm not a normal human in THAT world (the jjk world).

EITHER WAY, regardless of which scenario plays out, we ball. My primary objective would be to prevent Gojo getting sealed. (And not dying cuz I respect Rayne too much to get him killed) This is assuming I get reincarnated as Rayne RIGHT at the start of the Shibuya incident, ie, when Gojo enters the first veil.

OKAY. First thing I'd do is find a radio tower and evacuate the citizens and try to get everyone out. One of the many things that weighed on Gojo's psyche was the constant death of civilians around him. If I could lesson that mental load via directly or indirectly it'd be pretty poggers. I would have to take into consideration Kenjaku's interference if he were to learn that I was trying to get in the way. I can see Kenjaku but I won't be able to see curses like Jogo or Mahito which could arguably overpower me as Rayne even if I used his summons. So going all out in the very beginning wouldn't be ideal.

Another thing I would have to consider is the effects of the veils. Seeing as I'm not a normal human from that world I can assume that the veils wouldn't work on me. So removing the veils altogether would be my next objective or current objective at this time if I'm unable to evacuate citizens. THE MOST IMPORTANT thing as of right now would be INFORMATION. This would involve directly contacting Gojo in some way shape or form. (Side note, I don't like Gojo like that, I'm a Sukuna fan. I love the complexity of Gojo from a character analysis standpoint.)

TO BE SO FR with you guys rn. I would be SWEATING, I would be nervous asf. LISTEN, i would have Yuki Kaji's voice and Rayne's resting bitch face, talking to the dude in a friendly amicable manner would probably be impossible for me in Rayne's body. I'd be so nervous talking to him I'm ngl. Even worse if he doesn't believe me. So from here, I'd have two options.

a) Accompany him into station B4.

or

b) Work around him.

a) If I were to accompany him into the station, that would imply that I would be fighting alongside him against a lot of curses that I may or may not be able to see. Not ideal since I'd probably only get in the way. The only bonus to direct confrontation with Gojo would be that I could relay information to him.

b) I would be evacuating the citizens trapped in the station around Gojo. Mimiko and Nanako brought a lot of humans into the station to aid in Kenjaku's plan as well as Mahito who came in on a train full of transfigured humans. One thing I could do is either stop Mahito (Partisan go brr), or slaughter every single transfigured human on that train (which would probably be my best bet if I can't see curses.)

At this point in time, Mahito is a formidable opponent where I cannot see myself beating him easily. It would likely be a battle of me vs my objective rather than actually defeating him, especially considering that I don't have any cursed energy, just magic from another world. While Rayne would definitely be a special grade level (comparing him to first grade sorcerers) he is not on a level where he could feasibly defeat/exorcise curses efficiently.

NOW Kenjaku. Would it be possible for me to obliterate Kenjaku? (If I had Rayne's combat experience.) I think yes. If I don't have any of Rayne's skills, probably not. While we're both ranged fighters, Kenjaku would have the upper hand with his millennia of combat experience even with my summons. He'd be definitely outmatched for sure, but his experience is something I'd have to consider, especially if he still has cursed weapons at his disposal. Overall, I think it's a big risk and from here it will get pretty messy.

I would have the options of either defeating him, or taking the prison realm from him.

I would likely go for defeating him in all honesty. Overwhelm him enough and his cursed spirits won't be able to keep up with the amount of Rapid Partisan, or black partisan the entire subway. Either way, everything is getting destroyed mkay?

Another option I considered was after killing all the transfigured humans on the train, going directly to Gojo and evacuating the people in station B4 because (again) I would like to prevent Gojo from getting sealed and that mental strain would likely be lifted by me taking out the civilians in the way of the fight. From here, I have a lot of viable options:

Intervene and simply knocking the prison realm out of the way during that minute assuming I'm able to break out of Gojo's domain expansion in time (unlikely but viable).

Inform Gojo of what's happening or what's about to happen (exposing Kenjaku's existence in Geto's body) so that he wouldn't be too shaken by seeing or hearing him.

Fight off Kenjaku until Gojo mentally recovers and he won't be so shaken by Geto's sudden appearance.

All of these are pretty viable (if this takes place after I get all those ppl tf out Hawks style with the Partisans). Aside from that, I would be getting in the way if I can't see curses.

NOW this is all just plan A. Plan B is to save as many of the characters as I can.

Helping Yuji fight against Choso, pulling Nobara out of the way of Mahito, entering Dagon's domain to help everyone there (thereby preventing Nanami's subsequent death). The one thing I would like to avoid is direct confrontation with Jogo because I'm NOT winning that fight tbfr. I have no idea how these characters are going to react to my actions and presence within this world so everything I do HAS to be well thought out and methodical. Running around Shibuya willy nilly is not an option because everything that happens within it I'm on a timed challenge here.

Some other side quests is to get a window or something and have them communicate all the events that are about to take place and exposing Kenjaku's existence and lifting the veils. One thing I considered is to use the subway's comms to tell Gojo everything. That would probably be the safest and most effective on getting information around.

Honestly, this would be much easier if I was Vanilla ngl. I know her moves, her experiences, and her power scaling down to the T. But I don't know Rayne's cuz Mashle is so unserious with it so I have to guestimate his powers and what they're capable of. I can make a second post about what I'd do if I was Vanilla instead but this originated from a shitpost so idk.

I'd like to hear your guys' thoughts and opinions. What would YOU do if you were reincarnated as your ig pfp RIGHT into Shibuya at the start?

[wordsmith-storyweaver]

Okay, so I saw a post on my feed, and I didn't want to hijack OP's post, but the gist of it was that people need to have their pain acknowledged and not swept away under the rug of positive thinking or "happy vibes"...

As someone who deals with the chronic pain of osteoarthritis and with clinical depression, I have a lot of thoughts on this issue that come from personal experience.

1) Yes!! Especially considering the fact that most people will be either lucky enough to not deal with a condition meaning they are in constant pain and/or will have their pain questioned or negated or denigrated by others (including professionals in the medical community), it is absolutely VITAL that conditions with chronic pain be acknowledged and validated.

2) For many of us, the sad facts are that: a) our conditions are mislabeled, misunderstood, or mistreated (even by the aforementioned medical professionals); b) the treatments are available, but unaffordable; c) the treatments are available, but we cannot use them due to adverse reactions, other underlying conditions, or (as is my case with my bum knees) the current treatments available have limited shelf-lives, and thus cannot be used until a certain age or catastrophic damage allows for an exemption; or, d) the treatment/science simply has not advanced to deal with the issue.

3) If you are dealing with a chronic pain issue, you ABSOLUTELY need people in your corner giving you positive vibes, happy thoughts, prayers, or even silly cat videos to help keep your spirits up! It does not invalidate your condition to have people in your corner, especially ones trying to inject positivity into your life. If I did not have a support group- and yes, there are plenty of bad days where it feels like I don't- then I would be much worse off than I am.

4) Cultivating a positive attitude takes a conscious effort. My biggest motivation in trying to stay positive is actually an inverse example of this: my grandmother worked hard her whole life until well after retirement age, but when she fell and broke her leg, she just gave up; instead of doing the PT exercises to get back on her feet, she relied on pain meds (ones that never really worked fully) to get through her days. Her singular goal had become "to not feel any pain". She stopped walking unassisted, and eventually stopped walking altogether, because "it's too painful". She was never a big reader, so all she did was sit in front of the TV watching game shows or news programs- things that only inspired envy or a doom and gloom mentality. For the last years of her life, she became someone I didn't recognize and someone I didn't want to spend time around. She was bitter, angry, self-centered, and lonely, and in spite of all the prescription drugs the doctors let her have due to her age, she was still in constant pain...

So, yeah, chronic pain sucks, and yes, positivity doesn't "cure" it. But wallowing in the pain, refusing to focus on ways to either mentally or physically alleviate the pain, makes you the kind of person who no one wants to be around. And no, it's not easy trying to stay positive either, but it DOES make enduring what cannot be treated easier. And it means that your support group is less likely to distance themselves from you.

[art-finds-a-way]

The sky was dark with the promise of a downpour as they stepped outside. It was cloudy all morning but it just got worse as the day progressed.

In the middle of the huge courtyard stood the burned out transport. To be honest there wasn't much to see on it, the troopers saw what happened to it, it was a clear case of vandalism and arson. It also would have been a waste trying to save it, the damage was too extensive and it would cost a lot to repair it. It was yet another addition to the junkyard.

"I'll hear out our mechanics opinion on it but I'm quite sure we can write it off." said Kallus after walking around the transport.

"I'm afraid so too." answered Tora. "We lost a considerable amount of equipment in this sector recently."

"Yeah, I see a pattern." Kallus held his chin, visibly in thought. "We might need a new strategy here and try to lure out the ones warmongering before we face a full blown rebellion."

"Do you have a plan?"

"Not yet but I'm working on it. First I'll need—"

Kallus stopped as suddenly the clouds opened up and rain started to pour. And it didn't joke around, within seconds a thick curtain of raindrops surrounded them.

Tora glanced up with a small grimace. It really couldn't have waited five more minutes for them to get back inside... Never mind though, she wished to take a shower and clean her armor thoroughly anyway.

She looked to the side with a scowl, seeing Kallus opening his coat. Then the agent proceeded to take off his coat and hold it up above his head, protecting himself from the rain, but to Tora's shock he stepped to her, far beyond her personal space, to be able to shield her from the rain too. Her heart jumped to her throat as she stood but a few inches from him, under his raised arm.

"Well, lucky I didn't change before coming out..." said the agent, his voice almost lost in the rapid music of the raindrops, Tora was sure she could hear him only due to their closeness.

"B-but you'll ruin your coat. And-and your uniform... I'm dirty..." she stuttered in utter embarrassment, trying to pull away from Kallus, debating which one was more awkward, accidentally making his tidy white uniform dirty or intentionally keeping her distance from him.

"Never mind that, it always can be cleaned." answered Kallus the least bothered, making Tora blush even harder. How could he be always so nonchalant and generous. And direct... Very direct. She already experienced this way too many times, but apparently personal space was a foreign concept for the agent...

She had no other choice than align her steps with his as they walked back to the complex in the pouring rain, huddling under his coat.

She dearly wished that no one saw them like this... Especially Jax.

--

continuation of a pic I had of Kallus wearing his long white coat, also a snippet from the scene I wrote for it