#This will post when I'm going to go eat it

[acid-ixx]

'cause you're takin' it like a champ, sweetheart !

(nsfw) romantic! yandere conner kent x gn! reader

reblogs and interactions are encouraged and appreciated.

— masterlist ; leaked sex tape post ; other post !

a/n: mdni. purely nsfw. inspired off of @luludeluluramblings. the reader here is gender neutral but is a bottom, so interpret them as any gender as you will! mentions of breeding, oral (giving &. receiving), and overstimulation.

i'm sorry but i just read about the sex tape thing and now i'm shitposting you guys. what if instead of making chapter 6 for my series angsty, i make conner and you have kinky, sloppy, sweat-drenched sex after your first date? what if instead of the batfamily stripping you away of your freedom, conner strips you naked right before one of the secret cameras placed inside the room you're both in, that he's sure records every single passionate movement you both make in bed?

what if instead of you crying from the pain of all the negligence, you writhe and mewl like an overstimulated pornstar as he pounds away all your worries instead??? and if the footage unknowingly gets leaked? holy shit, not only do you possess the title of bruce wayne's infamous bastard child, but you're now also known as a kryptonian monsterfucker who definitely possesses the energy of a bull if it means you could handle bed-breaking sex to the point you're sure anyone from a mile away could hear your bated, snappy breaths and conner's sporadic, non-stop humping into the most pleasurable parts of your body.

cause even if he's half-human, that doesn't take away the fact that he is half-human. he sports features that aren't typical in normal anatomy. this just translates to: less energy is consumed when fucking you, so he could go on and on and on eating his love out, leaving marks for hours whilst simultaneously ensuring that you're probably well-bred (and i hc that it's probably almost exclusive to kryptonians that they cum, a lot) and dripping and feeling full by the end of the night (or day, heaven knows just how long he could go off worshipping your body).

and yes, the leaked sex tape piqued the interest of most curious eyes and it's probably going to be the spectacle for most researchers curious about kryptonian anatomy- but consider this. conner's not the only man obsessed with you. there're some romantic interests out there seething with rage, at the same time nutting and touching themselves to the video and playing it on repeat cause you're taking it like a champ.

unfortunately for them though, you've already been too addicted to the feel of conner spearing you down that you just can't fathom anyone else holding you the same way he does. you love the dichotomy he puts you through (to the point you ignore the red glinting lenses above your body) when he's possessively pinning you to the any fucking surface with his strong arms wrapped around your waist, with no chance of escape, the sensation of his dick penetration in and out in a hasty, yet rhythmic beat. yet despite the harsh thrusts, his hand still find itself to your sweaty forehead to wipe away stray hair, his lips taking its sweet time softly pressing kisses from the crown of your head all the way to your lips.

"good j-job takin' me whole, sweetheart— ah! god, i love you..." he whispers praises with his parched throat on your ears, every syllable enunciated with the thrum of his hips, your legs nearly resting over his shoulder. if not for his breaths hitting the inside of your ears, goosebumps spreading throughout your body, you wouldn't have picked up on the bass of his voice complimenting you.

your grip on his body only tightens, eyes shutting deeper into the near zenith. with just how much you're humping back despite the soreness in your muscles, tears escaping your eyes from pure, unfiltered pleasure, it's as if you're putting on a performance for the whole world to see.

"i— AH! i love you, t-too, kon– baby!" your reply came in the form of a squeal after another of his particularly harsh thrusts from waiting for your response. god, your throat hurts, it's more sore than conner's, taking him in your mouth fully felt like a fever dream, but you could remember the shape of his tip puncturing the back of your throat that it has your body reeling for another mind-blowing orgasm.

the glass of water on the stand beside you both is empty, it's been empty for hours. yet conner's still thirsty, how else would he be quenched from his urge when his previous ministrations of eating you out whilst prepping you to take his dick makes him even hornier? there's something about your body that makes the kryptonian want to memorize every single detail from how you writhe when the piercing in his tongue penetrates a sensitive part of you, and oh, the salty taste of your sweat and tears is heaven for a starving man like him.

shit, the thought of sloppily devouring you whole after he fills you up time and time again would be the cherry on top. overstimulation works pleasures on his sweetheart's body like a charm. he loves seeing the more desperate parts of you begging for more yet telling him to stop at the same time, as your hands still tangle harshly on his hair to keep him in place.

... but for now, he's got to focus on the lack of love marks on the expanse of your body, his vision nitpicking all the places in your skin that he's going to suck hickeys on. it'll definitely be his final piece of the puzzle to show all your other admirers his claim on you.

and the whole world can only bear witness to the artwork he's creating with you.

welp, guess it's just going to be you and conner alone in the room for a while, satiating both your hunger for each other, haha...

— oh, and don't forget the hundreds of cameras placed strategically to record all angles of your bodied fucking like animals!

[disparatemind]

Link to pinned post with all parts here

Part 11

“So… am I in purgatory?” asked the soul when I'd brought over a couple of chocolate chip cookies.

“I guess you could call it that. I call it the realm between Life and Death, or the in-between. Essentially the concept is the same.”

A small sigh escaped the soul. “Now I'm afraid I may not go where I was hoping,” they said.

“Don't be discouraged. This isn't what I was expecting either.” Memories and fears tried to surface in my mind, but I pushed them down. “Do you remember your name?”

“It was… Sam.”

“I'm glad to meet you, Sam. I'm sorry that one of the other patrons made your welcome less pleasant than it should have been.”

“That's alright,” Sam answered. “I can't say I blame them, in light of the current… ah, circumstances.”

I raised an eyebrow and studied this easy-going soul for a moment. “You seem to be taking this rather calmly,” I said. “What you're feeling is none of my business, but if there's anything you'd like to talk about, I'm all ears.”

A small smile appeared on Sam’s face. “I appreciate that, but honestly, even though this isn't what I was expecting to see, I have faith I'll end up where I'm supposed to be.”

I nodded. “Until then, let me know if you'd like a refill or something to eat.”

“Thank you. You're a kind soul.”

“So are you, Sam.”

Leaving Sam at the counter with his coffee, I eyed the section of the cafe where Wade had taken the other newly-arrived soul. Taking a small breath, I headed over and nodded.

“Hello again. I'd like to properly introduce myself. My name is Rose, and this is my cafe. You're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like, provided you remain respectful of others. You're welcome to ask me anything, but I may not have all the answers.”

The soul glanced at Wade, who was seated across from them and looking like he wasn't about to move any time soon.

“Would you mind bringing me a cup of coffee? As strong as you can make it?” came the carefully polite reply.

“Sure thing. Would you like anything to eat?”

“I doubt you'd have it, but a poppyseed muffin would be nice.”

“I've got some from a batch I made earlier—I’ll be right back. Coffee black, right?”

A startled nod.

“Isn't she great?” Wade beamed as he settled back and put his arms behind his head.

Smiling and shaking my head as I went back to the counter, one of the other patrons drew my attention for a refill, and by the time I finally returned to Sam, his cup was empty.

“Sorry about that,” I said as I poured some fresh brew into his cup. “I try not to let my patrons’ cups get completely empty.”

“No apologies necessary,” Sam said. “This coffee is probably the best I've ever had.”

I thanked him with a smile. “And you're one of the politest souls I've ever waited on,” I replied.

As I went back out into the cafe to bring everyone their refills and plates, I couldn't help but hope within my heart that Sam found the peace he was looking for, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was sorely missed by the family he'd left behind.

You run a café on the edge of life and death. Souls who have been departed from their bodies temporarily, such as in comas or near-death experiences, can relax in your quaint cafe for as long as they need before they can either return to their bodies or begin their journey to the afterlife.

[cherryblooom]

2XL — OP81 [ part 1 ]

Summary: You are a young artist who gained a lot of popularity at the ripped age of 14 due to your talent and unusual style. Your body is considered "voluminous" so, in public, you only use 2XL clothing, to protect yourself from people on the internet and feel more comfortable while performing. You have managed to keep your personal life outside the spotlight but when Oscar finally made it to the glamorous lifestyle of motorsports, everything changed.

Pairing: Oscar Piastri x Reader

navigation series masterlist

Fic warning: best friends to lovers, slut shaming, weird people on the internet, people commenting about a minor's body, sexism, rape comments, rape "jokes", reader battles with her self-esteem, self-image, and self-love, Oscar is obsessed with his girlfriend and her body (not in a creepy way) and is not afraid of showing it, Oscar is not afraid of defending reader and dragging people though the mud.

Faceclaim: Billie Eilish

Note: Oscar is a year older than the reader. SMAU mixed with narrative. Reader doesn't have that much access to social media right now as they are mostly controlled by their management.

You were in shock, appalled, shaking in your boots. No, that wasn't enough to describe the excitement you felt when you saw the success your debut song was having. It had gone viral on the Soundcloud platform, and your followers were increasing rapidly, it honestly felt like a dream.

ynusername just posted

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ynusername Thank you so much for all the support and love you guys have shown to my debut song and EP. I am still in shock and shaking. I can't wait to see what comes next 🩵

View all 1,578 comments

fanusername you deserve all the love, the songs are beautiful

→ ynusername Thank you so much for the support, it is a dream come true 🩵

oscarpiastri beautiful and talented, you deserve it! ☁︎🩵

ynusername has liked your comment

username this girl is going to be a fucking star

ynusername has liked your comment

username245 ocean eyes makes me cry so much 😭

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oscarpiastri I can't even begin to express how proud I am of you. You are such a talented artist and seeing how you are achieving all of your dreams makes me so excited. And…happy birthday! I don't care how famous you get, i’ll always remember how you almost die because you couldn't stop eating grapes.

Please don't forget me when you are famous, I can't live without your pancakes and you always REFUSE to share the recipe 😔

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ynusername and i’ll NEVER give you my pancakes recipe ☺️🙂��↔️

→ oscarpiastri boooh, u are just mean and for what😣

ynusername just posted

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ynusername This pookie just won his first championship in motorsports and I'm still scared to cross the street alone, wtf. Anyways, CONGRATULATIONS!! I don't need to read your horoscope to know that you have a great and bright future ahead of you ❤️@ oscarpiastri

P.S. I understand that winning a championship is a bit of a big deal, but I'm not going to give you my pancake recipe. I don't care how pretty your eyes are 🙄

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fan1 wait, are they a couple?

→ fanuser3 No, as far we know, they have only been best friends since kids

randomuser oscar had an amazing season, I can't wait to see him in f1

fanuser2 Is Yn that tiny or is Oscar a giant? 😭

→ fan1 I know, their height difference is so cute 😔

→ fan3 both answers are correct 😂 but she's 5’1 so I would say that is not that hard to tower over her

Oscarpiastri if you give me the recipe, I will teach you how to cross the street without dying 😃

→ ynusername no❤️

→ oscarpiastri oh COME ON

→ oscarpiastri then, can you come and prepare me some? I pledge not to peek

→ ynusername that I can do

Oscar turned off the screen of his phone when he saw that you had returned from the bathroom, since he had taken advantage of those minutes that you were away from the table to respond to that disgusting comment on Twitter. There were times when he hated social networks, and because he was not a fan and did not find the logic in arguing with a stranger on Twitter, he could not avoid the anger that began to feel when he saw that comment from someone who claimed to be his fan. It wasn't the first time, and unfortunately it wouldn't be the last, that your fashion style was the center of conversation, and not in a good way.

“So, are we done here then? Nobody wants to order anything else?” asked his team leader. All the team members shook their heads and after the bill was paid, everyone started to get into the cars that were already waiting outside to take them to the bar they had reserved for the rest of the night. It wasn’t just that they had won the championship but now Oscar was officially of age, so it was also a reason to celebrate (although he wasn’t old enough to drink alcohol yet, but it seems that detail wasn’t that important to his team).

“Let’s go to McDonald’s for our monthly greasy burger” Oscar told you as you walked out of the restaurant. Your arms were intertwined, and your head was resting on his chest as the two of you slowly made your way to the exit. You couldn’t help but feel a warm flush running through your body. You felt so comfortable and safe.

''Even though I wouldn't want to break our tradition, you should go with your team to celebrate. I'm sure they made you a cake or something like that.'' Since you were both 12 years old, on the last Friday of every month you would go somewhere to eat sweets, junk food or things that you couldn't eat on a daily basis and, for both of you, it was almost a sacred day where you could be yourself, spend time together and just eat, talk or relax.

"Maybe you're right but honestly I'd rather spend time with you."

''I'd love to accompany you but I'm not 18 yet''

''Ohh right, you're still a little girl, I almost forgot. My bad''

''Shut up!'' Oscar just laughed and you let him guide you to his car. ''So, you're not going to the bar?''

''I told you; I prefer to be with you.'' You were both already inside the car and after buckling his seatbelt, Oscar leaned over you to put your seatbelt on for you, but you didn't realize how close you were from each other until he was practically right in front of you. Time felt like it had stopped, or at least it was going slower, since you felt like you had been in that same position for minutes. Oscar for his part couldn't help but run his gaze over your full, kissable and pink lips. For Oscar, you had always been a beauty that didn't need makeup, and if you had put on any, it would only be to make your already natural beauty shine. A few inches were all that separated your lips from his and Oscar smiled cheekily as he watched you hold your breath, maybe waiting, but waiting for what exactly? Oscar pursed his mouth into a satisfied smile.

Oscar finished fastening your seatbelt and sat back down to his seat as if nothing had happened, but he smiled mischievously when he watched you wipe the palms of your hands on your pants and felt you release the breath you were holding.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with that belt, but sometimes it gets stuck. I should check it out later,” Oscar said, and you nodded you head accepting his explanation. It was a lie. The belt was perfect, he just wanted an excuse to do what he did and yes, he didn’t regret anything. He got the answer he was looking for...that he wasn’t the only one who felt that way.

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dailyop81 One of the photos that are already coming out of Oscar's team celebrating the championship title, but he doesn't appear in any of them. Could it be that he didn't attend his own party?

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dailyynupdates yn and oscar hanging out today. According to the person who took the photos, the two were seen leaving a food store with a couple of bags (with snacks and what it looked like some junk food). They stopped at the park for a few seconds and then oscar started chasing yn while they both laughed. It should be noted that today is Oscar's celebration party, and he apparently decided to celebrate with yn.

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oscarpiastri just posted

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oscarpiastri such a lovely night with a pretty girl 🩵

tagged @ ynusername

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yn_global23 the height difference between them, I can't-

→ ynhater1 she looks like a fucking midget besides him, how is that cute? lol

→ ynhater1 and btw, the only reason she's famous is because she is with Oscar, if not, she would have flopped so hard 🤣

→ yn_global23 you are aware that yn was already famous before your little vroom vroom guy won any silly tittle, right?

Oscarpiastri liked your comment ❤️

fanuser5 Oh, the way I would give my left kidney to see them together! Like TOGETHER 🙂‍↕️

Oscarpiastri liked your comment

→ ynfan2 ong, me too!! I don't know a lot about Oscar but yn seems so comfortable and happy whenever they are together

→ ynuser2 omggg, Oscar liked your comment 😭

→ fanuser5 WHAT? I can't see it.

→ ynfanuser4 I think he removed the like but, we all saw it. @oscarpiastri explain 🫠

Oscarpiastri liked your comment ❤️

→ ynfanuser4 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Radio check: I'm finishing up the next part of Enchanted, but this came to my mind, and I couldn't get it out of my head so here we are. If you'd like me to tag you, let me know. Like and Reblog if you like it!

[starcrescentisz]

── STRESS RELIEF.

໒꒰ྀི ^ ⸝⸝ ^ ꒱ྀིა박성훈 x fem! reader content established relationship non-idol au college/university au ᥫ᭡ warning explicit sexual content unprotected sex (stay safe!) petnames used kissing pussy eating fingering begging sunghoon being a tease and wear glasses (need this man so bad). . .!? 1445 — mlist.

note. first post has to be dedicated to the man who got me into enha... ever since i saw that one tiktok edit of 240201 sunghoon, it was over for me... anyways, hopefully this is readable as i'm awkward when it comes to writing smut. like+reblog+comments are appreciated! feedbacks are also appreciated!

Ever since you stumbled upon your boyfriend wearing a pair of thinly-framed glasses, you couldn’t get the sight out of your mind. As far as you were aware, it has been three weeks and it was still imprinted in your head, not having any intention of leaving you alone. You groaned, running a hand through your hair in a poor attempt of calming yourself but it was futile. The words reflected on the screen of your laptop don't make sense anymore, not when you’ve been on the same page for the past hour.

“(Name), darling, you need to take a break.�� 

You looked up to see Sunghoon had entered your room. He was dressed comfortably; a white long-sleeved shirt with a pair of black sweatpants. And of course, he was wearing glasses that perfectly rested on the bridge of his nose. The sight of the accessory was enough to make you gulped. He chuckled at your silence and how you were shamelessly ogling him. He steps closer, stopping until he is before you. 

“What’s in your mind, pretty girl?” He asks, reaching out to gently cup your face with his hands. Your eyelids fluttered shut at the contact and you couldn’t help but leaned into his touch, shoulders sagging slightly. 

“Nothing, I’m just stressed,” you replied, savoring the way Sunghoon caressed your face with his thumbs. 

“Poor thing, do you want me to help?” He asks. 

You shook your head. “No, I can manage—” 

“Oh, I’m not talking about your work,” he interrupts, mischief seeping into his voice. You gulped when you recognized the familiar glint in his eyes and that was the only warning you got. 

Your lips were captured in a fiery kiss and you gasped, feeling yourself being pushed back until your back was uncomfortably digging into the edge of the table. Sunghoon had to lean down to kiss you, making him strain his back but he didn’t care. Nothing is important when it comes to pleasuring you. Without breaking the kiss, Sunghoon carried you in his arms, moving you to the bed where he gently laid you down on the mattress. The feeling of being in your boyfriend’s arms made you feel safe and protected; a feeling you had came to cherish. 

You made a noise of protest when he pulled away. You raised your head, desperate for his lips but Sunghoon moved, leaning his head back. 

“Hoonie, why?” You whined. 

He coos, leaning in to press a kiss on your forehead. “Sorry sweetheart, but I’m helping you to relieve your stress. So just sit back and let me do the work, alright?” 

Huffing, you obeyed and moved to lay in a comfortable position. You watched with bated breath as Sunghoon shifted down, spreading your legs apart. He easily pulled down the pair of shorts you were wearing, tossing them to the floor, leaving you in your panties. Your ears turned red when you realized you were soaked. Of course, this didn’t go unnoticed by Sunghoon, who arched an eyebrow. 

“Did you get turned on just from kissing? Or is it something else?” He grins knowingly, fingers tracing the hem of your panties before he slid it down, leaving you completely bare underneath him. No matter how many times you’ve done this, he couldn’t get enough of how stunning you looked. 

“I don’t know what you’re implying,” you replied, your face turning as red as a tomato with how he maintained eye contact, with the glasses still on as he teasingly ran his fingers along your clit, collecting your essence. 

“Really? But I’ve a feeling you know perfectly well what I’m talking about,” he hums, wasting no time in sliding two fingers in, groaning at the delirious feeling of your tight, warm walls instantly clenching down on the sudden intrusion. 

“Sunghoon—” You moaned, one hand gripping onto the sheets while the other gripped onto the pillow for dear life. You attempted to rock your hips against his fingers but he held you down, restricting you from moving. 

“P-Please, don’t tease,” you whimpered, looking at your boyfriend with half-lidded eyes. 

Being the tease he is, Sunghoon smirks. It was unfair with how attractive he looked at that moment. “Please what, baby?” 

“Please touch me,” you pleaded, and the smirk stretched wider. 

“But I am touching you. You need to be more specific,” he replied, moving his fingers in a scissor-like motion as he slowly open you, preparing you for what’s to come. Sunghoon wasted no time in finding your weak spot and he ruthlessly abused it, reducing you to a moaning and squirming mess. 

“N-No, want your mouth on me—fuck!” You gasped, eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head when Sunghoon leaned down, running his tongue along your folds, followed by kitten licks. You let out a high-pitched moan at the double penetration; fingers and tongue. It was too much for you to handle and you could feel the familiar tightening of your stomach, a sign you were about to reach your climax, and then—

“What the fuck?” You raised your head, shooting your boyfriend the meanest glare you could muster. 

Sunghoon laughs, amused with your reaction. “Don’t worry, I’ll fuck you and you won’t be looking at me like that anymore.” 

He wasted no time in shredding his clothes, shifting to his knees as he still remained in between your legs. You tightened your grip on the pillow, biting down on your bottom lip at the familiar feeling of him pushing himself into you. You whined, getting drunk on the feeling of being split apart despite how you’ve had sex multiple times. When he was completely in, Sunghoon started at a languid pace, although he changed his mind when he heard the melodic sounds dripping from your lips. 

Blood rushed to your face as the bed rocked along with your movement. The room was filled with the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin. You were sure your neighbours will file a noise complaint tomorrow but that was the least of your concerns now. You arch your back off the bed when Sunghoon’s lips latched onto your neck, leaving butterfly kisses and hickeys behind. 

“Fuck, how are you always so tight?” He groans, lips grazing against your neck as he feels the way your walls spasm and contract at every rock of his hips. You whined at the cold frames of his glasses touching your warm skin.

“Hoonie, please, please,” you begged. 

“What does my pretty girl want?” He asks, moving his head away so he could admire your face. 

“G-Gonna cum, please,” you sobbed, hoping he would show some mercy. 

“Is that so? Could you keep your eyes on me when you cum, sweetheart?” He asks, and you eagerly nodded; wanting to please your boyfriend. 

It took your remaining strength to keep your eyes open. You pulled him down to kiss him, your tongues meeting in a passionate dance that only lovers would know. You panted against his lips as you reached your climax and Sunghoon was quick to follow suit. Both of you groaned at the feeling of him releasing in you. You laid in a pool of your sweat and other body fluids while your boyfriend slowly pulled out of you, eliciting a hiss at the sudden empty feeling. 

He got off the bed, heading to the bathroom to grab some clean towels to wipe you and him off. You were pliant, too exhausted to move an inch as Sunghoon cleaned you off. When he was done, he threw the now dirtied towels into the laundry basket with great accuracy. He grabbed a new set of clothes—his clothes, to be exact and assisted you in putting them on. Sunghoon had to move you away from the bed to get rid of the sheets, much to your annoyance but you knew he was doing this so he wouldn’t get scolded by you tomorrow morning. 

Once he was done replacing the sheets and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, both of you were finally able to cuddle together. You rested your head on his chest while Sunghoon drew circles on your arms. 

“By the way, I know you find it attractive whenever I wear glasses,” he commented. 

Your closed eyes snapped open as you turned to him at lightning speed. “What?” 

Sunghoon laughs, poking your nose. “What? Did you think I wouldn’t notice how often you kept staring at me? You’re not being subtle, especially with the way you stare at me.” 

“And how do I stare at you?” 

He grins, pulling you closer so he could kiss your lips. “Like you want me to fuck you.” 

“Sunghoon!”

[chlix]

treatment resistant

bf! chan x fem! reader: he comforts you during a mental health episode

pairing: chan x reader

genre: ANGST like seriously, turns into comfort at the end tho 🙏🏾

word count: 4.7k

warnings: graphic depictions of depression, anxiety/anxiety attacks, and psychosis (paranoia); self worth issues; general self-loathing

a/n: i wrote this in one sitting about six months ago and deliberated posting it, but it's almost the end of the year so i feel like i should release it. i used to feel so validated by fics where reader is depressed and gets comforted, but she was never as depressed as i sometimes was, so i drew a bit from life for this one. everyone please be safe and read the warnings <3

It doesn't start with the dishes. In fact, you think your therapist might tell you that it's not about the dishes at all, but about your own poor self-image, or lack of emotional regulation, or about a thousand other things that are wrong with the way you perceive yourself and the world.

The truth is that lately you've been sleeping way too late and waking up too early, and you're so tired that you can't eat, which makes you so hungry that you can't take naps. You're between jobs and the outlook hasn't been great, your best friend keeps blowing you off in favor of her new boyfriend, and just this week you found out that your favorite bakery is no longer making the souffles that you've been using as a pick me up since you moved into this building.

You don't do well with change, or rejection, or honestly anything, lately. You wake up stressed and you go to sleep stressed. You keep your phone on Do Not Disturb because you can't bear receiving notifications. Just today you've talked yourself out of taking showers twice, only to have a meltdown when you tried to sit on your bed because you felt too dirty to touch your own sheets. You sit on the floor instead. You eat a singular banana for lunch, just to make your headache go away. Your headache does not go away. You feel both unreal and painfully solid, sinking into the ground and on the verge of floating away.

Your boyfriend, Chan, keeps texting you updates about his day, and answering them feels like an exercise in performance art. You scroll through your previous texts to make sure you're adding the right amount of exclamation points, that you're using the same recent emojis. It's like cosplaying a happier version of yourself. A better version, a version that he could love, as opposed to how you are now: greasy and gross and plastered to the floor in your hallway. The idea of him seeing you like this fills you terror, or at least it would if you hadn't burned out your capacity for feeling things already.

A new message pops up.

Chan: Hey baby ❤️ Was thinking of swinging by tonight after work? I can bring dinner with me

Just the thought of eating threatens to make you vomit. You suck in a breath and hold it as you type,

You: If you want something specific go for it! I already started cooking but we could have it another time

Chan: I don't want to waste all your hard work. We can have what you're making. I'm sure it'll be delicious :)

You: I can promise edible. Delicious is up in the air rn 😭

Chan: I have faith in you even if you don't ❤️. I'll be there around seven today

You: Okay! I love you sm, see you then! ❤️❤️❤️

You lock your phone and throw it across the room. Why do you do this to yourself? "Already started cooking?" You haven't showered today.  Normally you try to deter Chan from coming over when you're having a freakazoid episode, but now you've basically invited him in? You have to be normal for an entire evening?

You fall on your back on the ground and put your hands over your face, blocking out the sunshine that insists on steaming through the cracks in the drapes. Your heart is beating so hard you worry you're going into cardiac arrest.

Get off the fucking ground, y/n, you tell yourself. You have to go cook dinner for your boyfriend.

"There is something very wrong with me," you say out loud, very quietly. The silence of your apartment swallows the words. They vanish, as if never said.

You get up.

It takes you two tries to make something even passing as edible. Your head is all over the place, and you burn batches of oil and veggies before you manage to stay in your body long enough to finish making anything. It takes an embarrassing amount of pans and spoons and bowls to make something that should be simple, and as dishes pile up in the sink you feel stupider and stupider. Why are you acting like you don't know how to cook? It's not hard to make some vegetables in stew. You don't know why it's taking every appliance in your kitchen and all of your concentration to execute such a simple task.

By the time you're done cooking, you've stressed yourself out enough that you're getting a tension headache. You close your eyes and brace yourself against the sink, rallying yourself.

Just do these dishes and then you can sit down, you think. Just one more thing.

You pick up a sponge.

You put the sponge down.

There is no way you can do these dishes.

It doesn't so much hit you like a train as the realization slowly creeps up on you. It's not that many dishes, really. It looks like a lot, because the pots and bowls are so large, but numerically there's very few items in your sink. It wouldn't even take 30 minutes to clean everything and leave it in the rack for later.

But that's not happening. The idea fills you with a cold and genuine dread, just as strong and perverse as when you'd tried to shower earlier, or sit on your bed. You can't turn on the tap because then the water will touch you, and it will feel Wrong, and then your whole body will feel Wrong, and then you'll die of Sudden Onset Wrongness. And now that you think about it, a lot of your anxiety today has revolved around water, and isn't that a symptom of rabies? Hydrophobia? Did you get rabies somehow? Would you know if you had rabies? Maybe that's the thing that's wrong with you- you're not depressed or insane or just a terrible person living a terrible life. You're just rabid. There's something eating your brain, and that's what's making you into such a fucking failure of a person.

While you're debating the possibility of brain-eating viruses, Chan comes home from work. You automatically turn towards him, a bright smile on your face, and rush to greet him.

"Hey, Channie!" you say, bouncing over to him with a pep you do not feel. "I'm so happy you're here!"

And you are, mostly. You love your boyfriend, really you do. He's loving and attentive, and he's never made you feel like anything less than the number one priority in his life. You have similar values and work ethics, which keeps you on the same page through most difficult periods in either of your lives and careers. You haven't been together long, but your bond is solid, and you really believe you're going to make it far together.

You also really believe you won't if he ever finds out what a complete nutcase you are. So you hide it. You grin at him and you appear light and joyful and easygoing and you brush off his concerns with adages and placations, and you redirect the conversation back to him, because you're a good listener and you love the sound of his voice and you much prefer that activity to any activity that involves you explaining how you laid on the floor for five hours and had an emotional breakdown while slicing cabbage. He has other things to worry about, other problems to solve without adding yourself to the list. You're supposed to be his respite, not another draining task. He doesn't need to know how hard it's been lately. You shouldn't have to say it.

So he doesn't. And you don't.

"Hey baby," he says. He sets his stuff down and kisses you in greeting. "How was your day?"

"Okay," you say. The answer feels curt, but you don't want to ruminate any more on your absolutely fruitless afternoon.

Chan doesn't comment on your strange answer. He takes his shoes off and hangs up his coat, and as he's about to walk past you he spots the mountain of dishes in the kitchen.

"Oh, were you about to do the dishes? I can do them if you'd like."

"You just got home," you protest. "You should go sit down."

"But you've been standing just as long cooking dinner, right? I should do my part."

His insistence is making something terrible expand in your gut. Instead of being flattered at his offer to help, his words feel like a violent condemnation. You should've done the dishes before he got home. You should've finished cleaning the kitchen altogether, so that he can relax in a clean environment. What kind of stupid fucking girlfriend are you, where you can't even do basic chores around the house?

"No, it's okay. I already psyched myself up to do them, so I'll do them."

Chan hums in a tone that's either playful or mocking, you genuinely can't tell which. "Okay, if you say so. Don't be afraid to tap out if the dishes get the better of you."

Great. He thinks you're so stupid you couldn't do the dishes if you tried.

You subtly regulate your breathing as you turn towards the sink. Chan disappears into the apartment out of view, and you give yourself thirty seconds to push your freak-out as far down inside you as you can.

"You're not an idiot, y/n," you tell yourself. "You can do some fucking dishes."

You reach under the sink and pull out some disposable plastic gloves. They make your hands look weirdly swollen and unfamiliar, as if they aren't your hands anymore. For a bizarre moment, you're convinced that they're genuinely not, that someone else's hands have been put on your body. You close your eyes so hard sparks fly in front of you.

Stop being crazy. Do the fucking dishes.

You turn on the water and pick up a bowl.

Chan reappears. You flash him a smile, but say nothing. Chan grins back, all dimples and crescent eyes. He's so handsome it makes you want to rip your own skin off. You thank God every day that you were born beautiful, because you could never have caught his attention with your personality alone. He'd be completely out of your league, and honestly, maybe he still is.

That thought gets shut down and pushed away. One crisis at a time. You don't have hands and you might have rabies, but you definitely have a boyfriend who loves you. There's no point in kicking yourself while you're down.

You turn back to the sink.

You cannot do these fucking dishes.

"Work was funny today," Chan says as he moves over to the stove and opens the pot.

"Mm?"

"Just some technical issues in the studio. Nothing serious, but it gave us some good bloopers."

You pick up a glass cup. You can see your reflection mirrored back at you in the curve, and your eyes are so wide. Have they always been that wide? Are your eyes drier these days than they normally are? You can't tell, because every part of you feels both dehydrated and submerged under water.

"This is really good, babe," Chan says.

You blink. "What?"

Chan holds up his bowl. "The stew. It's great. I told you it would be delicious."

You let out a pleased sound. "Thank you baby. Your encouragement really motivated me."

It was the wrong thing to say. You have no idea how, but from the way Chan's expression changes slightly as he looks at you, you know he's caught on to you acting weird.

"Is everything alright?"

Shit.

"With me? Yeah, I guess so. I've just been really tired lately."

"On the job hunt?" he asks sympathetically. It's like a stake in your heart.

"As always."

He wraps an arm around you and presses a kiss to your hair. "Don't worry, baby. You're super qualified in your field. You'll find something soon."

You need him to stop touching you or you'll start throwing pans at the wall.

"I hope so," is all you say.

"I know so. Just keep faith."

You hum again, noncommittal. It's like you're slowly losing the ability to speak. And the gloves are too tight and the water is so loud and you're nauseous and your head still hurts and it's probably not even the stress, it's probably the rabies, it's turning your brain into swiss cheese as you speak.

After another tight squeeze, Chan lets you go and retrieves his bowl from where he'd set it down. You hope he might leave you to go eat in the living room, but instead he hovers on the opposite side of the island, and continues telling you about his day. Normally, you'd love to hear the play by play of every crazy thing that happened with his group members and managers. Today, it's like nails on a chalkboard. The story is endless, keeps weaving around other anecdotes and tangents and you wish he would just shut up for one second so you can pull yourself together but you can't say that, because he isn't doing anything wrong, you're just being crazy, you're a bad and lazy girlfriend and you can't even put your own issues on hold long enough to listen to your boyfriend talk about his day. Everything is wrong wrong wrong, and you're Wrong and something is Wrong With You and it just keeps going it never stopswhy can't it all just stop-

"Y/N?"

Your name sounds like it's coming from a thousand miles away.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

You turn to look at Chan, see his eyebrows pinched together in concern. You have no idea how long he's been saying your name.

Very calmly, you strip your gloves off and lay them to the side. You turn off the water.

"Sorry," you say. "Give me one moment, please."

You walk past him and down the hall to your bedroom, where you very calmly and gently close the door behind yourself. You climb on to your bed, filthy clothes and all, and pull two of the pillows from the end to rest on top of each other. You tie your hair back with a hair tie, press your face into the stack of pillows below you so that your whole face is covered.

And you just start screaming.

Screaming is therapeutic, apparently. Or at least, it's on the approved list of emotional regulation activities your therapist had given you. As long as you aren't screaming at anyone, it can be an effective form of release. It helps you release the tension from your core and focus that nervous energy into sound and action.

You scream into the pillow as loud as you can. You aren't sure how much it's doing to muffle your sound, but the belief that it's helping allows you to let go. It's tearing at your throat, the intensity of it. Once you start it's hard to stop, you just keep going and going and going, as if you're expelling demons.

When you finally peter out, you pause for a moment, then push yourself onto your knees. You're dizzy. Blood is rushing in your ears. It's oddly hard to breathe, as if you can't get enough air in your lungs. Even the fact of your own body is too much for you. You wish you could abandon it, just for a moment. You wish you could observe this from the outside so that you would better know how to fix it.

Eventually, your breaths calm. The buzzing recedes, leaving room for rational thought. And your chest feels....lighter. No longer is there a bomb sitting in your sternum, waiting to explode. The pressure has equalized. You look down at your hands, fisted in your bedsheets, and they look like your hands.

Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool.

You think you can probably do the dishes now.

Gingerly, you climb out of bed and make your way to the door. You open it, prepared to put your smile back on and apologize for your rude exit.

Chan is outside your door.

His eyes are wide with alarm. He looks stiff, hesitant. One of his hands is outstretched towards the door, as if about to knock.

Your face goes blank, wiring short-circuiting as you try to figure out what to say.

"Hey, y/n," Chan says, slow, testing. "Are you okay?"

Your script restarts, and a big smile automatically draws itself on your face. "Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that. I just got a little overwhelmed."

"Overwhelmed?"

"Yeah. It's fine, though. Come on, you can finish telling me your story."

You grab his hand and try to pull him away from the bedroom. He doesn't budge.

"Will you tell me what's going on?"

You turn back to look at him. "Nothing's going on."

"Baby, I understand if you don't want to talk to me about it yet. But you don't need to pretend there's nothing wrong. You don't need to lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

"I heard you screaming in there."

Ice flushes through your body.

"Ah. Well, it's like I said. I got a little overwhelmed. I'm not hurt or anything. Sorry if I worried you."

"A little overwhelmed?" He's getting frustrated now, put off by your blase tone. "You look like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown."

"No, I don't," you say, because you don't. You know what you look like when you get like this. You've trained your expressions so well that your face doesn't flush. Your eyes don't tear up. You have to look put together, because if you don't look put together then you can't convince yourself that you are put together.

"Y/n. I know you. I can tell when something's up." He sighs. "I've thought you were a bit distant for the past couple of weeks but I figured you would come to me eventually. But here we are, and you're having an anxiety attack right in front of me and you won't even admit it."

"I'm not having an anxiety attack."

"Love, I know what anxiety looks like. If you'd just let me help-"

"I'm not having an anxiety attack. I don't have anxiety. I would know if I did."

"Everyone has bad days and hard times, baby. You don't have to be defensive. I'm not accusing you of anything."

"You say you're not accusing me of anything after unilaterally diagnosing me with anxiety?"

Chan lets out a long breath. "That wasn't what I meant. I just mean-"

"You can't just assign me disorders when you decide I'm acting irrationally. You don't know my medical history. You don't even know me that well. You don't know if my behavior is normal or not."

"You can't be getting upset at me for 'not knowing you' when it's clear you're actively hiding things from me," Chan says, patience thinning. "I see you're in distress and you're picking apart my wording? I'm trying to help you."

"I didn't say I wanted your help."

"You're my partner! Of course I'm going to help you!"

"You can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because-" You choke on it and slam your lips shut.

Chan's face is drawn in irritation. He makes a go on gesture. But you can't go on. It's like the words are trapped in bubbling tar.

Your silence stretches. Chan sighs and drags a hand down his face in exhaustion. He'd gone out of his way to come visit you and now he regrets it. You've wasted his evening and ruined his mood. It's only a matter of time before he realizes you ruin everything. Hell realize he's drowning in all your mess and decide to save himself, and then you'll be alone again.

You draw in a breath of your own, but you're still lightheaded.

"Why did you invite me over if you didn't want me to see you like this?" he asks finally. "You don't have to see me every day if that's not what you want."

All the anger is gone from his voice. He's being so patient that your own stubbornness is acrid in comparison. You swallow, hard. Every muscle in your body is tense. You have the pull the words out of your throat with hooks, one syllable at a time.

"I wanted to see you," you explain, stilted and pathetic. "I thought I could pretend for long enough."

"Pretend what?"

That I'm not crazy. That I'm not falling apart. That I'm normal and easygoing and a joy to be around and definitely not rabid.

It's impossible to say. You don't know what's wrong with you, but you know that something is. You can't do the dishes. And you can't do this.

Your knees buckle and you sink to the floor of the hallway.

"Y/n?"

You don't respond. You're just staring straight ahead, all your thoughts whirring so fast that you're having trouble parsing any of them.

"Y/n? Hey, baby, sweetheart, can you look at me?"

You blink, and he's in front of you, on your level. He's trying to look calm but you can see the panic in his eyes. It only makes your chest tighter. You're dragging him down, you're cursing him. He needs to get out or you'll have his blood on your hands.

"We need to break up," you whisper.

Chan reels back like he's been slapped. "What?"

"We can't- we need to break up. I shouldn't have invited you over. I'm sorry."

"I..." Chan is at a loss for words. "You don't mean that."

But you do mean it. With everything in your body. "We can't be together."

"Baby, I don't know what you're thinking, but we don't have to break up if you don't want to. I don't want to break up."

You feel sick with his sureness. How can he claim to know you better than you know yourself?

"You don't get it," you say. Your tone is unnatural, words strange on your tongue. "We just can't be together."

"Can you tell me why you feel that way?"

"Just look at me."

"I am looking at you. And all I see is my beautiful, wonderful, perfect girlfriend who is having a very bad day and might be making some hasty decisions."

"Not a bad day. A bad life. I'm fucked up, Chan." The words come out with such a quiet malice that it shocks even yourself. "I can't even do the fucking dishes."

"I can do the dishes, love. I said it wasn't a big deal."

"No no no. It's not about the dishes." You're struggling to explain- the words are getting twisted, the thoughts all merge together- "I can't do anything. It's not about the fucking dishes. It's about- I can't-"

And you burst into tears

"I'm sorry," you say. "I'm really sorry. I just-"

"It's okay," he soothes. "It's okay. I understand now."

He doesn't. He can't, and you know that full well. You shake your head, vision blurring from your tears. You're so embarassed and it's making you cry worse. You think you must look so ugly right now. He must be repulsed by you. You're repulsed by yourself, your own misery making your skin crawl.

"Can I touch you, baby? I want to hold you."

You shouldn't. You'll infect him. You'll ruin him and take away everything that makes him good. Why is he even still talking to you? Why doesn't he leave?

"You don't have to-to feel obligated. I can just- if you give me a second-"

"I don't feel obligated," he says, patient but firm. "I love you. I want to hold you all the time."

Something in your chest cracks. You're so weak. It's pathetic. But you can't hold yourself back anymore.

"Please," you whisper, defeated.

Chan reaches out and pulls you into his arm. You're both still on the ground, but he rearranges you so you can hide your face in his shoulder, and you do, too humiliated by your tears to be able to look at his face. He presses a kiss to the top of your head and your traitorous body relaxes without your permission.

"You've been struggling for a long time haven't you?" he asks. "You didn't want me to pity you."

You don't say anything. You can't bear to.

"Well, I don't pity you. I think you're very strong, trying to deal with this on your own. You made me dinner today even though you didn't really want to, right? That was very kind of you to do. You take such good care of me, baby. You light up my life. Isn't it fair that I should get to take care of you too? Can't I return the favor by helping you now?"

"It's not the same," you mumble into his shirt, because the magnitude of the two asks isn't comparable. You chopped up some vegetables and threw them in a pot. He is witnessing you have a mental breakdown in your hallway. You're not equally yoked. It's too much to ask of anyone.

"Whether it's the same or not doesn't matter. Love isn't transactional. It doesn't have to be equal effort every single time. This isn't a favor I'm returning. I'm comforting you because you're upset, and I hate to see you cry. Do you believe me when I say I want to see you happy and smiling? That I would do anything to ensure it?"

You finally pull away from him, wiping away your tears on your sleeve. "You might have to go find a new girlfriend then," you say, voice cracking from the tears and the weight of your despair.

"I don't want a new girlfriend. I want you." He's hesitant, but he continues. "There are ways of getting help, you know. We can try some things, like therapy, or medication. I can help you. You don't have to feel this way all the time."

You shake your head. "I'm in therapy and on meds already. None of it really....works on me. I have fewer bad days than I used to but they still leave me like...like this. And they just drag on....it turns to weeks and months, and I can't....I can't do anything." You let out a shaky breath and make yourself stop talking. Even after all this, the urge to hold back is engrained in you. "You deserve better."

"I think I decide what I deserve," Chan says. "I know it's hard to open up about things like this, but what's worse than you being depressed is you hiding it from me. How can we work on this if you're pretending it's not real?"

"I wanted to be good for you. I wanted to be...to be easy."

Chan leans forward and cups your face in his hands. He looks you right in the eyes, and you see that they're glossy with their own unshed tears. "I don't need you to be easy. No one is. I just want you to be you. And I want you to let me be there for you. In everything. Including this. I want all of you. Do you think you can do that? Can you try?" He wipes away your tears with his thumb.

You swallow harshly. It goes against everything in you, everything you've taught yourself. Chan loves you. He wants to stay. Even though it may all crash and burn later, even though he might still turn on you or reject you or give up on you and declare this all a lost cause, right now he wants to stay. He believes in you. And you want to hold on to that belief as long as it lasts.

"Okay. I'll try."

A relieved smile stretches across his face.

"That's my girl," he says, and presses a kiss to your forehead. It makes something like pride settle in your chest, as if the part of you that cracked earlier might not stay jagged forever.

"Let's get off the floor, hmm? I feel like you might've spent enough time down here today."

You definitely hadn't mentioned that. Maybe he really does understand more than you'd thought possible. You don't know exactly how to feel about that, but you allow a bit of gratefulness to come through as he stands up on his own and reaches a hand down to pull you up. You wipe your eyes one last time, let out a breath, and take his hand.

[kedreeva]

There are good things in this world still

The Holidays have had me busy the last few days, so between my last Good Things post and this one:

My brother flew down to surprise my sister with a visit for Christmas.

My elderly, ill bird (Aurora) started showing fast improvement once we switched medications for her!

I spent an evening with my in-laws, who are lovely folks. There was good food, good company, good cheer. I received an adorable homemade sticker from my nephew, with my farm name in the Jurassic Park logo style!

It lives on my computer now so I can look at it whenever I want. They also gave me a laptop cooling pad, which not only cools my laptop, but allows me to tip/raise it only my lap so I'm no longer hunched over to write and game!

I stole all of the wrapping paper and boxes, to be shredded for rodent bedding/nesting materials; they will highly enjoy all of the novel scents and textures!

I made spinach artichoke dip for the christmas gathering, except I completely forgot the artichoke. On the one hand, I felt bad not having a viable dish, but on the other hand, I mixed in the artichoke when I got home, and put it all into a mini-crockpot to heat up and eat at home. Worked great! I've been wondering about the effectiveness of the mini crock for a while (Can I Make Just One Cup Of Soup??), and it seems fairly viable for keeping stuff warm at least- GREAT news for making a small amount of hot mulled cider for cold nights.

I finished two scenes for my next chapter of story, after not having the spoons to write for a while. I also caught myself daydreaming about Final Pack again, so I will be renewing efforts to get the first book cleaned up!

I candled the eggs from my wild type celadon project, expecting that none of them would be growing (because the eggs get too cold in the winter), but there are FIVE of them! growing!! They've got ten more days to go, so we'll see how many actually make it out. I am STOKED to see what the first babies look like.

I baked sugar cookies and frosted them with my partner. It was very fun, and I have enjoyed giving cookies to people (and eating them, myself) since.

There are good things left in this world, however small. This is your opportunity to reblog this and share your good things with each other, or check the notes if you need a reminder.

[taojjang]

𐙚 christmas morning with riize .ᐟ

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ advent calendar, day twenty-five: the finale! pairing: bf!riize x reader, genre: fluff! warnings: SO MUCH LOVE </33

synopsis: how riize would make your christmas feel extra special!

a/n: merry christmas my briize friends! i hope all of you guys had an amazing christmas! the advent calendar is coming to a close, so i wanted to show my appreciation for everyone who showed support! i had so much fun writing these holiday fics and i'm glad so many of you enjoyed them <3 i still have five (and maybe a bonus winkwink) fics that i'll be posting to make up for my mini hiatus, so this will not be the last. again. thank you so much ! 🧡

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✩ shotaro ⸝⸝

shotaro is the sweetest boy in the world, so of course christmas morning would be like a dream come true! the night prior, taro snuggled up with you and stroked your hair until you fell asleep. but the second he heard your light snores, he cautiously snuck off to the living room and began his christmas magic. he grabs a huge bag of gifts he's hidden in the basement and begins wrapping all of them by the christmas tree, ensuring not to exceed the squeak of a mouse.

the next morning, you shake taro awake and press frantic kisses on his face, desperate to open the gifts you've been waiting weeks for. but once the two of you reach the living room, your excitement melts into a puddle of pure astonishment and adoration for your sweet bf :(

"surprise! merry christmas, honey!"

✩ eunseok ⸝⸝

eunseok can't help but smile every time you go on and on about how excited you are for christmas. he loves seeing that silly little grin every time he brings up the holidays so much to the point where he mentions christmas almost every few hours. your jittery anticipation is just so cute <3

but that does not mean he's nice! even though you woke up so much earlier than usual and begged him to get up and open gifts, he would shake his head and say you're not allowed to open gifts until you eat :( so he cooks this luxurious and well-balanced breakfast so good you forget all about being upset! he buys you tons and tons of clothing and jewelry so you can always think of him when you wear the pretty clothes he picked out for you <3

"you would look so pretty in this dress, darling."

✩ sungchan ⸝⸝

no matter the time of year, sungchan is always spoiling the hell out of you. you tell him about a pretty necklace you want and its at your doorstep within days. he never lets his pretty princess miss out on all the fancy things she deserves. so of course he goes all out for christmas!

when you send him your christmas wishlist, he makes sure to buy every. single. item. there is nothing he wouldn't buy you. even if you wish for a unicorn and a gun he WILL get that horse armed with the meanest glock you've ever seen. the only issue is... he's a bit of a procrastinator. after you open all of your gifts on christmas, he'll keep his head low and giggle in shame, admitting he ordered your gifts a bit late and they won't be here until mid january. but you can't even be mad at him because that silly bf of yours is the best gift you could ever ask for :(

"i'm sorry princess... i swear i got everything on your list!"

✩ wonbin ⸝⸝

wonbin being the sweet little perfectionist he is, he'll be up all night worrying if you'll like your gifts or not :( he's lying beside you, biting his nails and fretting if he got everything on your wishlist while you're out cold. but the next morning, you couldn't understand what he was worried about.

everything was like a dream. all of your gifts were wrapped in the fanciest shiny wrapping paper and even decorated with pretty silk ribbons on each box. he even put together multiple gift baskets for you, filled with all of your favorite snacks and even cute photos of the both of you :( how could he ever doubt himself when he's the best boyfriend in the world?

"did i get everything you wanted, baby? if there's anything i missed, just let me know."

✩ seunghan ⸝⸝

seunghan just can't contain his excitement! he wakes you up a little earlier than planned with dozens of kisses peppered all over your face because he's just so eager to give you your gifts :( you're a bit cranky from being woken up an hour earlier than necessary but once you begin opening his gifts, you forget every complaint you've ever had.

all of his gifts would be packed with so much love and consideration. everything was wrapped in your favorite color and even had small cards inside every single box. every gift would have a little note attached to it, telling you the silly stories of the troubles he's endured to get you that gift. some gifts would even have cute blurbs about how cute you'd look using the gift :(

"i'm sorry for waking you up early, angel... i hope these make up for it!"

✩ sohee ⸝⸝

this little sohee guy is silly alright. no matter the occasion, sohee is always gonna find a way to make you either laugh until your stomach hurts or massage your temples in frustration. he loves messing with you, so of course he had to buy an elf on the shelf this christmas. every day since december first, that elf has been nothing but a menace. some mornings he'd kindly leave a bunch of hershey kisses on the kitchen counter for you, yet other mornings he'd trash your entire room with toilet paper and call it a snowstorm.

if you didn't have a headache already, there was no way the elf would leave you alone on christmas. on christmas morning, sohee would wake you up with this silly grin on his face telling you to get ready quickly so he can show you your "gifts." but of course the frickin elf made a huge igloo out of the gift boxes, leaving it in the center of the living room and sitting on top of it with that smug smirk on his face. you couldn't lie, it was quite impressive.

"WOAH!!! HE GIFTED YOU A NEW HOUSE!!!"

(ps. you saw him on the doggy monitor getting up at 4am to make the gift igloo, but you couldn't get enough of his proud little smile so you kept quiet!)

✩ anton ⸝⸝

your baby anton is so stupidly in love with you :( he'd spend months in advance searching for the perfect gifts for you, buying everything you mention wanting. you knew about this after seeing a note on his phone with all of the items you've spoken about, but you didn't expect this christmas to be even more exciting than you'd concluded.

he would be super duper excited to give you the gifts he prepared because they're just so heartwarming </3 anton would handcraft those mementos of his favorite photos of you and your favorite flowers. everything would even be wrapped in your favorite color with silly little stickers all over them :( anton never misses even the smallest details about you. he does all of this for you but even if you got him just a simple hoodie, he'd probably tear up (yes he's a loser for you).

"you deserve even more than this, my love."

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⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ tag list! (ask or comment to be added!)

@endtostartbreathin @gacktsa @hanninova @ramyeonzprincess @taroddori

[unhappy-sometimes]

a 2024 reading retrospective

so. i read a lot of fics in 2024. here are some of my favorites.

before i get started, please note that these are not in any particular order and these are not all of my favorites!!!!!!!! i wanted to include so many more but i just wasn't able to! also please don't roast me for reading stuff from more than two years ago :(((

anyway, here we go!!

1. Air by Cantare

as always, @cantareincminor knocks it out of the park. i'm a sucker for alternate first meeting AUs and Air is one of the good ones!! i find that it can be hard to find authentic sounding banter between yor and twilight, but cantare manages it somehow! they have such great and natural sounding dialogue. it's just a one chapter fic, but maybe if we ask nicely enough, cantare will continue one day 😏

2. like the wild geese by anonymous_viscacha

okay in all honesty, i read this for the first time last week and i scrambled to add this one to the list. it's a short one shot about a shared lunch break between yor and loid, but it's so sweet and endearing that i just had to put it on. i love love love it when people let loid and yor catch up on the childhood they lost because they deserve it. i'm kinda obsessed with this fic right now.

3. what happens outside by aerequets

it's kinda unfair that @aerequets gets to be a great artist and author but here we are. i'm not complaining tho because what happens outside is a delightful read. i enjoy exploring post reveal pre relationship twiyor and this fic is perfect for that!! it's also just really cute and reading things from yor's perspective is super endearing.

4. chaos theory by sarsaparillia

so ngl this one scared me at first because i do NOT like major character death fics and this one really seems like it, but this fic was unexpectedly wholesome and has a happy ending!!! it's short but bittersweet so i can't really talk about it without spoiling it any more. go read it! it's short!

5. eventually i fall into you, you attack my heart by princessguard

i know this is a controversial (and somewhat ironic) take but i usually really don't like eden AUs but. this fic is proof that there are always exceptions to the rule. this one is a short little story about a serious student at eden and the weird girl he keeps meeting in trees. i don't know exactly why i love this one so much but it do. it's cute and the epilogue got me grinning like a fool.

6. like real people do by Puolain

once again another alternative meeting AU. i dunno, man, it's just so much fun to see twilight and yor having the chance to be real people and accidentally fall in love which each other. i eat that up every time. great work @loveroma!

7. I'll Be There in a Minute, Dear by fluffmelange

i was SO CLOSE to putting fluffmelange's "Leave No Trace of Yourself" here because that one is SO FUNNY but alas, this delightful fic barely won out in the end. you know what you should do? read both. fluffmelange is keeping us all fed with short and sweet fics that are so much fun to read. this one is a favorite simply because the premise is so goofy and simple but i could 100% see it being canon lol. we are in your capable hands @fluffmelange.

8. I've Been Throwing Bricks At Your Window Like There's No Better Way To Say Hello by thesmallestfishinthesea

this fic has such a silly and simply premise but i love it so so so much. it's about the three times yor forgets her keys (plus one extra time loid forgets!!!!) and it's so cute to have a view inside yor's (often frazzled) mind. i don't know what else to say other than READ IT RIGHT NOW!!! great work @smallest-fish-inthesea!

this is not all!! i really wanted to include the wonderful works of @whateversawesome, @briefhottubcoffee, @spencer-is-alive, luinel, and more (ao3 literally went out just as i was typing this UGH what awful timing) but i wanted to do something to give back to this awesome community. fun fact, today is my birthday and there's a tradition in my family where the birthday person gives presents to others. so this is my present to everyone!! thanks for everything you guys and here's to another great year!

oh oh oh one last thing, i tried to link everyone's tumblr if they have one, so if there's an author on here who has a tumblr that i didn't link, let me know and i'll link them.

okay! thanks everyone!

(ALSO DON'T MAKE FUN OF HOW DIFFERENT SOME OF THE DRAWING STYLES LOOK IN SOME OF THE ILLUSTRATIONS, I WAS EXPERIMENTING WITH DIFFERENT TECHNIQUES AND THEY LOOK STUPID ALL PUT TOGETHER LEAVE ME ALONE😭😭😭😭😭😭)

[icephoenixcom]

Bullshit drawing because I'm far too stressed from holiday stuff to put any work into high-effort things right now. Started a random BG3 playthrough while I was out of town and my other half decided to play karlach origin. I told him I'm disappointed and when he asked why I said the highlight of my playthrough is telling her to go back to camp and getting sassed about eating mud. Unpopular opinion: I hate Christmas. I dislike travel. I stress around situations I feel trapped in with other people. If I am still not posting much for the next week, blame Christmas.

[citrusses]

@sweet-s0rr0w made the most beautiful post about drarry celebrating christmas in her fics, so I took a stab at it, too. Merry christmas and happy holidays all!

OORU drarry spend Christmas Eve with the Malfoys—formal, stuffy, suffocating. Lucius and Narcissa are not fans of Harry but Draco has made it clear that if they are not both welcome, neither will attend. It’s all very polite and painful. Everyone is trying; no one is certain it’s worth it. Christmas Day, however, is spent with Sirius and Remus, and it’s perfect and cozy and all four of them take turns get embarrassingly sentimental about it: about finding a family and being that for each other and getting a bit weepy into his champagne. Harry loves how Draco fits in so well with his godfathers now. Harry is thinking he should ask Draco to move in with him; he feels the uncertain flare of that old fear of rejection when he considers it, finds it terrifying, and resolves to press on in spite of it.  

Gemini in Retrograde drarry are at Grimmauld, where Draco lives, with Scorpius home for the holidays. Scorpius still thinks it’s kind of gross that anyone would want to date his dad, but he’s also never had such a happy Christmas since before Narcissa died. They exchange presents on Christmas Eve; Draco and Scorprius shock each other by picking perfect presents for one another (it’s new, for them). Harry “helps” their house elf make dinner (marking the first time they’ve had an edible meal on Christmas in years). All three of them go to the Burrow for lunch on Christmas Day, the tradition that started the first year Harry and Draco were together. While Scorprius is still working up the courage to properly talk to Victoire, he has none of that shyness when it comes to pick-up Quidditch in the garden. Draco and Harry play, too—Draco flies all the time, now. Harry is still better than him. 

Isle of Ogygia drarry are at the lighthouse, still — ostensibly they’re both working on getting Draco’s sentence reduced, but both of them are more than a bit nervous about leaving the island when the time comes. Their communication about this difficult subject needs work. However, Christmas in the lighthouse is beautiful—the place has been transformed into a real home, and the spellwork has been smoothed out, and the Christmas tree that Neville helped Harry safely transport there is thriving. It’s storming outside, but it’s warm inside, and they have more food than they could possibly ever eat, and they end up not opening presents until the evening because they spend the whole day shagging. They both think they’re being very funny and clever and ended up getting each other the exact same dry, unreadable encyclopedias for Christmas. 

Löyly drarry spend every Christmas traveling somewhere new. They like to alternate between cold and warm destinations: cold places mean shopping at Christmas markets, hearty meals, and saunas if they can find them, and sex on rugs in front of blazing fireplaces; warm places mean dips in the ocean, and dinners and cold wine in the open-air, and Harry watching Draco's long, solid body turn pink in the sun in a way that makes him weak. Draco considers it his duty to become an expert in each country’s specific magical traditions; if there’s sex magic to be found, that’s all the better. Draco and Harry have been forbidden from returning to at least one country because of a public incident involving said sex magic. It was, they both think, worth it. 

@jtimu @arminaa8 @xalandrix @thecouchsofa @greattemptation @garagepaperback @sorrybutblog @nv-md and I'm seconding everyone sweet tagged, too, if you want to share how your drarries spend the holidays. if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged, and tag me please!

[neallo]

okay, so, i decided to make a 2024 wrapped after all. i constrained myself to works which are complete, and which i wrote on my own. i also tried to avoid including fics that are part of a wider series, and focused on standalone stories, though there is one exception.

2024 was a wild year for me! i posted / updated 53 works, and wrote 158k words. yesterday (12/25) was two years since i posted my first fic for mello/near. in those two years— and especially throughout 2024— the death note fan community has come to mean more to me than i could have ever predicted. i'm excited to keep writing and sharing my work with you all in 2025 (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

a world transformed

near POV; no kira, wammy's era

F/F | rated T | 1,700 words

In which a gift transforms the way Near understands the world.

the frost

mello POV; post-explosion kira investigation

M/M | rated T | 1,620 words

“So?” Mello shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Brushes his wrist against the handle of his gun, just to remind himself that it’s there. “What the hell do you want?” Near smirks. “Who said I wanted anything but your company?” He twirls a strand of hair around his finger. The gesture is so familiar that it makes Mello’s chest ache. “Perhaps I wished to spend time with an old friend. It’s been a long while, hasn’t it?” Mello scoffs. “Oh, is that what we are?” A tilt of Near’s head. His smile skews, bafflingly, a bit more genuine. Bizarre little bastard. “Isn’t it?”

THE END IS NEAR

near POV; post-explosion kira investigation

M/M | rated T | 1,725 words

So here they are now, in the middle of the bible belt with a disposable camera and an unspoken agreement to ignore the elephant in the room. Or— elephants, plural, because there are a whole host of things they aren’t discussing. The Kira case is one, and maybe the biggest, but they also haven’t talked about Mello’s photo or the words on the back of it, and Near hasn’t dared to voice the question that he keeps asking himself:  Why am I here?

august 18, 2010 (two-hundred days)

near POV; post-kira, mello lives

M/M | rated M | 1,650 words

Near is sitting in his office. He is sitting at his desk in his office, which is also Mello’s office, because they share one, now. Mello is under two meters away from him, sitting at his own desk and glaring at his backlit monitor like he wants to kill it. This has been their status quo for about seven months. Near knows the exact figure— two-hundred days— but he usually avoids acknowledging that he knows it, even in his own mind. Having this information on hand feels slightly illicit, because he knows the only reason he recalls the duration of their professional partnership with this degree of precision is because of what happened immediately before it began.

starving

mello POV; post-kira, mello lives

M/M | rated M | 2,720 words

Near is hungry. No— not hungry. Near is famished. He’s starving. Mello can see it in the pronounced pallor of his face, the dullness of his eyes. In life, he could go for a day and a half without eating and barely notice. It wasn’t good for him, but he could do it without issue. In undeath, he is not so resilient.

to have & to hurt

near POV; wammy's era to post-kira

M/M | rated E | 7,000 words

Five times Mello is harsh with Near, and one time he is very tender.

compromised

near POV; pre-explosion kira investigation

M/M | rated E | 2,850 words

The door has only just shut behind them when Mello slams him against it, forcing the air from Near’s lungs in a painful wheeze. Hands fisted in white fabric, he gets right up in Near’s face. It is meant to be frightening, menacing, but more than anything Near finds it nostalgic, really. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Mello hisses. Near blinks, feigning innocence. “Visiting.” — In which Near finds both Mello’s base and a suitable compromise.

good boy

near POV; post-kira, mello lives

M/M | rated E | 5,350 words

Mello’s stare is warm and constant, and the comforting exhilaration of it builds and builds within Near until he feels like he may burst. There is something he wants to say to Mello, but he doesn’t know what it is. Before he can ever say anything at all, though, Mello stands to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says. Before he goes, he gives Near two lists. One for the night. One for the next morning. Near always follows them to the letter. — In which Mello and Near form a dom-sub relationship centered entirely around shared meals and to-do lists.

one in the same

near POV; post-kira, mello lives

M/M | rated E | 3,500 words

“Fuck,” Mello whispers. His hands shake against Near’s chest. “Good boy,” Near repeats, experimental, smiling as he watches Mello’s eyes flutter shut again. “The very best.” A small frown tugs at Mello’s lips. Near tries to kiss it away, but it lingers. He still has work to do.

we'll pretend it ends tomorrow

mello POV; no kira, post-wammy's

M/M | rated E | 5,775 words

“What’s happening?” Near asks. “I’m not sure,” Mello says. “I think we might’ve been kidnapped.” Near makes a soft sound of disapproval. Mello bristles at this, because it sounds like Near is mad at him over their abduction, even though it’s obviously not Mello’s fault. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he reminds himself that Near is probably feeling super-scared and vulnerable, and that, considering the situation, he may not be thinking through the potential implications of the sounds he’s making. He probably didn’t mean for it to seem accusatory. -- A dire situation tests Mello and Near’s ability to work together, bringing out the good, the bad, and the intensely sexual.

[crazywolf828]

Hey there friends

I wanted to hold off making any donation posts until I knew how much it would cost but the situation got a lot more dire.

Mom's had a heart attack, my grandpa died, and my uncles are coming after our house.

My grandfather died just before Christmas, it was a shock to all of us as he seemed to be doing fine. His final wishes were to be cremated and spread over the beaches with my grandma, everyone has known this, but because he didn't write a will before getting sick with Alzheimer's and dementia all of his children have to agree on what to do with his body. If they don't he gets turned over to the state and disposed of, and we never get him back.

Yesterday my mom had a mild heart attack, she's still in the hospital now (though she seems to be doing better) because we found out my uncles are refusing to cooperate. I'll explain the full story under the cut but they haven't been around for over twelve years and are now coming after our house.

The funeral is at minimum going to be 4k not including any lawyers we need to get to get control of his body and fight my uncles. If you can spare anything at all, please I'm begging more now than ever before, donate if you can or just reblog.

Thank you all, so much, for everything you do and have done.

My uncles have never been around, the last time was after a settlement from my grandmothers wrongful death where they took almost all the money. We got enough to buy our current house and that was it. My mom and grandpa specifically put on the deed that they both owned it so my uncles couldn't steal it once my grandpa passed away.

Well, we found out it is considered an asset, until we are able to get a death certificate to get his name off the house and give my mom full ownership, my uncles can technically try and get a part of his assets (even though we have no other money).

We haven't seen them in 15 years. They weren't around when we had to take care of my grandpa after his surgery in 2016 and his decline in mental health after. We couldn't afford to put him in a home so we did what we could.

They weren't there during the outbursts and anger of my grandpa not knowing who we were, having to give him baths, change his diapers, taking him to the hospital, making sure his food was soft enough he could eat it. But now they think there's money on the line and they want to bleed us dry when all we have is our house.

We were told all of this yesterday at the funeral home, told that if we don't go to court or they don't all agree on what to do with his body then he gets turned over to the state and disposed of. We would never get him back.

The stress caused my mom to have a minor heart attack, she was transferred to a bigger hospital and is currently having a cath test done because she already has an autoimmune disease.

I can't do much else to help other than come on here and ask for help, I have so many of my own illnesses that prevent me from working and the government is giving me a tough time trying to get on disability.

It's a lot and I'm just so lost and I'm sorry to ask again, I'm sorry to make another donation post, but please, we need this so much, every bit helps.

[nerdygaymormon]

In thr garden of eden why would god force Adam and eve to disobey him in order to move forward and keep all his commandments? Why wouldn't he just give them the choice of whether or not to eat the fruit (like maybe offering it to them and they can say yes or no) without commanding them to not do it? God being all knowing, he knows Satan will coerce eve and she'll eat the fruit anyway. I'm mormon and so confused about that part

You're on the right track in that these stories were written to get us to ponder their meaning, what are we supposed to learn from them, what lessons about life can we glean?

Here’s one thing to remember, no one has come up with a satisfactory explanation, it’s left a quandary for us to puzzle over.

I think most Christians view the Fall as a mistake, that we were all meant to live in the Garden and have idyllic lives. That certainly is not the LDS viewpoint.

As Latter-day Saints we have 5 versions of this story: 2 in Genesis, 1 in the Book of Moses, 1 in the Book of Abraham, and the 1 presented in the temple endowment. They differ from each other and the things we can learn from each of them differs accordingly.

There’s two main LDS theories I’ve heard taught. The first is that people are here on earth to learn and grow, how can this happen without choices to make? By giving conflicting commandments, God is forcing Adam and Eve to choose.

The other main LDS theory is that God created them perfect and for them to experience the sufferings and degenerative effects of mortal life and death, God didn’t impose it on them, they had to choose it in exchange for the opportunity to grow and progress. I think this idea is a bit problematic for people who believe Adam & Eve are historical and were the first humans, why would Adam & Eve get to make that choice for everyone? But if we think of them as symbolically representing humankind, then we chose to come to earth and encounter the hardships of mortal life for the opportunity to progress to become like God.

There’s some other theories. One fits with Elder Oaks’s recent conference talk that there are some commandments which are temporary and some which are permanent. Not partaking of the fruit was a temporary commandment, thus the conflict was going to be temporary. One version of the story says God will return with further instructions. Perhaps those instructions would include in what circumstances and timeline they were to partake of the fruit, but then Satan showed up and convinced them to do it now.

Another theory is it was done this way to demonstrate that when we’re faced with a decision, choose to be more like God even if it isn't the easier path. Eve chose to be more like God even if that brought suffering and death. We are all going to die in the end, so focus on choosing to become more like our heavenly parents.

In life, we are all going to have hard decisions to make, choose the higher law. Love is the highest law (see what Jesus said about the two greatest commandments). Eve chose love for God by wanting to be like Him. When Adam was faced with the decision, he chose love for Eve, he ate so he could remain with her.

Maybe another way to understand the predicament of Adam & Eve in the Garden is that life isn’t simple and predictable. Our understandings are limited and what we think is the correct thing to do and what we understand God wants for us can change as we get more experience/knowledge.

I hope I gave you some ideas to explore. Going beyond why would God give them conflicting commandments, what else can we learn from the story of Adam and Eve? You may be interested in some of my thoughts from this post and this one.

[kat-tastrophe]

This is a fantasy storyish post sorry I'm not the best at writing if someone better wants to rewrite this better just tag me.

But the concept is gaining like 3lbs and hr for 24 hrs, rapid but slow wg.

Id wake up and get ready for work, I wouldn't know anything would happen. Work goes normaly the first 4rs. 12 lbs probably wouldn't be noticeable by me or my coworkers, maybe id have to loosen my belt a little, but at this point, I'd think it's bloating. The second half of my shift became a little more noticeable but not obvious yet. Im a little larger at 24lbs in the 8 hours I've been awake, but it wouldn't show anywhere obvious that a coworker might point out other than my stomach. Maybe they'd think I'm pregnant or bloated, but who knows. My clothes do feel a little tighter than normal, but all clothes, even my size, are baggy on my small frame. I end my shift and go home 24lbs heavier, weighing a total of 136 lbs. I make some lunch and play games and do whatever chores I need to the first hour Im home. I'd make myself lunch and eat it only just noting after that I'm a bit bigger but oh it's probably just bloating. Then i boot ip my computer to play videogames or watch a show. And 6hrs pass as I play games slowly my clothes feel tight and my shirt rides up as 15 hours have passed. My tits increase in cup size. My belly starts to be noticeable as I've gone from 112 to 157 since the morning. My thighs start hugging the pants. I go to take a shower and make dinner when I realized how big I've become. My thighs jiggle as I walk tot he kitchen and my belly bounces. I don't tend to look down and so I play the bouncing of my body as a mind game till after I cook dinner. I sit down to notice that my thighs are covering the chair and my belly is on my lap at this point I'm 160lbs my 5'7" is visibly overweight. I eat my dinner and go to the bathroom to shower. I feel as my body is definently heavier. I start to freak out what do I do. What are my friend and coworkers going to think. I get to the bathroom to see as my clothes are snug on my body my belly is showing and my ass is partly hanging out if my jeans which look plastered on. My 00 jeans are screaming. As my ass is posting out the back and I'm probably a size 6 or larger at this point. I struggle to take off my clothes like removing a sausage from it's casing my body feels instant relief I didn't know i needed. I there are red rings now from where my clothes where hugging me. I also notice stretch marks on my thighs belly and sides that weren't there this morning. I freak out as I dont know what to do. Maybe It's just an allergy or something as I'm not in pain I decide I'll go to the doctor in the morning. I take a shower washing my now slightly chubby body. Feeling as it's softer and squisher. My have gone from an a cup to a b cup and my ass jiggles with every moment of my legs. I finish up and decide I will go to bed as maybe it's just exhaustion. I put on my pjs and my once baggy pjs feel like they fit. I go to sleep as I slowly gain more weight through the night. I wake up and my belly is resting on my lap when I go to sit up. My 112 frame buried under 72lbs of fat. I look massive to how I was just the day before. I love the feeling of the warmth and jiggle of the fat, I decide I'll postpone the trip to the doctors. I put on the largest clothes I have and head to the mall to get some new cloths not knowing how long this will last.

[shepscapades]

SHEP. SHEP YOUVE DEVASTATED ME ONCE AGAIN.

Bigshot as Andriod 24....you're so right. It so encapsulates what 24 thinks of Xisuma

"You're always just a bit shy following behind/I think you've spent enough time singing the same lines" <- 24's resentment toward Xisuma, perhaps? Or a desire for something more, something better?

"I'm screaming for a life that I cannot have" AAAUUUGHHH perishing. throwing up. rolling over in agony. When the music cuts out and it's raw vocals really adds to the effect

And the oh's at the end, the screaming. I love Jhariah's music so much and I feel like it showcases the rawness of 24's emotions that us, from the perspective of Xisuma, don't get to see often.

AND the transition into FIRE4FUN feels like if 24 spiraled into slight insanity.

Anyways I'm a huge Jhariah fan and will now be thinking of every song in the context of dbhc (especially Russian Doll as Etho post-destruction).

RAHHHHHHH YES!!!!! oh my god yes absolutely all of this!!! There's so much i could freaking say about this song, and If you'll indulge me a slight ramble: i think so much of it is like, this double meaning with lyrics. Like, yes, BIG SHOT. 24 hates Xisuma so much (for some reason, later to be explored, but hinted at a little bit in the spotify wrapped art), he sneeringly calls X a bigshot, because X must think he's so big and powerful and important, but this song also feels like. almost like 24 is beating up on himself? Like, "oh, you think you're a big shot, huh? Think you're so big and strong and powerful despite how small you feel?" and that sense of fighting to overcome his sense of inadequacy and shame and anger is just SO infuriating that it fuels him even more.

Lyrics like "You're always just a bit shy, following behind" AGAIN, could totally be 24 sneering at Xisuma, because X isn't the most outwardly outgoing person, and from 24's perspective, it's like ohhhhh, you're putting up this shy guy front, you must think you're so smart! BUT ALSO. "a bit shy" as in, coming up just short of a goal, always falling short, and that as a double meaning for both 24 and Xisuma is just so. passes out. I could go on like this for like every lyric i need to eat glass OH AND!!! FIRE4FUN is actually on Cub's playlist >:3 god so many songs from the TRUST CEREMONY album are on various dbhc playlists, but primarily 24 and hels. Xisuma has one and cub has one, but that's it (i think).

[alkhemeya]

The Magnus Archives, Episode 2 — 5. Thoughts.

Statement Begins.

I have nothing to do, so speedrun it is. I will put this in sections, because yes.

Episode 2 — Do Not Open.

1. Joshua Gillepsie, you drug man, I adore you. Why is he so smart??? Like, deadass would survive a horror movie. Such an unbothered king too.

1.5. Joshua seems to have like, that thing where you can't remember faces with how he describes that random man who gave him the money, and coffin (why was the guy called John??? Like, that's such a basic name). He may have been high as shit though. Which, yeah, I'd put it to rambling too, Sims.

1.6. Yes, I've decided to call John/Jon, Sims, until further notice. I can't decide on the name rn.

2. Zombies??? Does the coffin have Zombies??? ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN OT ONLY MAKES SOUKD WHEN IT RAINS???

3. Putting Breekon and Hope on the list for references. Same with names. I have a feeling ill see these names again.

4. What the fuck do you mean Joshua lives alone for 2 years??? HUHH?

Episode 3 — Across The Street.

1. GRAHAM GOT SNATCHED BY A BODY SNATXHDR ALIEN THING! Like the, fucking uh, Pod People! Yes!

1.5. Or Graham is me. I too also eat my notebook paper when stressed. And paranoid. And seemingly become some weird slenderman alien thing. That is normal.

2. The poor girl definitely witnessed Graham get snatched in a way. And those words? Oh, she is next to get fucking abducted.

3. The end statement implies that Graham was aware he was gonna get snatched considering his notebook. Also, doesn't seem to affect Polaroids? Maybe old tech? Though Polaroids aren't really old. Hmmm.

4. Note on Sims, I still love him. He's such a theatre nerd. Tim seems suspicious still to me, though, a flirt? I mean, if it's for information, respect.

Episode 4 — Pageturner.

1. Magic books??? Oh shit? Or like, midn control?? Also, who the fuck is Jurgen Leitjner??

2. Jurgen Leitner was a librarian?? Collector of sorts. Did he collect magic books? Also, Ex Altora. Like that name, spooky.

3. Another name to remember, Mary Keay. And her skin is all tattooed. Once again, keep a note on that. Will probably post a lost of people so I can keep track. Also, she has a son? Child? Gerard, but why is it said like Jared???

3.5. BONE BOOK? MORE MAGIC BOOKS? HELL YEAH SIGN ME UP. I'd love a book that gives me bones. Also, more about spooky Ex Altora book, there's two from the looks of it.

4. Michael Crew? Guys best friend, has a lightning scar. Didn't know those can scar over, and even in a visible way. Is he connected to the Ex Altora?? Guy was reminded of him.

5. Gérard is apparently shit at dying his hair (because if someone knows you've dyed it black on site that's a shit job) and just looks bad. I don't know why that's it's own note. I just think it's funny.

5.5. WHAT THE FUXK DO YOU MEAN MARY KEAY IS DEAD??? BODY SNATCHER? AHAIN? OH SHIT. WAIT, is Gérard an alien??? Oh fuck.

6. Gérard burnt the book. The guy seems to have gotten better, but what just happened??? Also, my phone keeps autocorrecting Gerard to Gérard. Sorry about that.

6.5. Really don't like that end quote. What do you mean your mother "doesn't always know vest for our family"??? SIR APPARENTLY YOUR MOTHER DIED BUT SHES ALSO ALIVE???

7. Sims! And apparently Jurgen Leitner is a bitch. And what does Sims mean about a true Leinter tome?? Maybe Sims is a believer in the stuff that can be shown as real?

Episode 5 — Thrown Away.

1. Doll heads? Kinda freaky. Love how this is from a binman pov. Those guys see some shit.

2. Paper? Catholic prayer too. Wild. Alan is weird. Why does he give weird vibes? Or am I just over thinking?

3. TEETH?? WHY IS THERE SO MANY TEETJ? LIEK, THOSUSANSS??? Okay, Alan's just weird, real. Also, STILL HUNG UP ON THE TEETH. WHERE DO HOU GET SO MANY??

3.5. Okay, police took the teeth. Maybe it's a serial killer? Or some doctor? I'm pretty sure some places, like dentists, have bags they put teeth in. I think.

4. Alan is going a bit mad. Once again, real. I too wanna know where the TEETH came from. And he got fired.

4.5. ALAN FOUND WHO HAD THE TEETH? AAAAND he's dead. I'm calling it. They'll find his bones and like, no meat. Just bones.

5. Not the rubbish bag that's made up like a present. That's just ominous.

5.5 Metal... heart? Did... did Alan get turned into metal?? WHY DOES IT HAVE HIS NAME. WHERE IS HE???

6. Sims! Again! Wow, he does not like Martin. Poor guy.

6.6 WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE TEETH WERE ALL TEH SAME??? IS IT POD PEOPLE? YHE THING?? WHY SO MANY OF THE SAME TOOTH???

Anyways. Love the end statements and how Sims does the voice over. Love it.

If I were to describe Sims in my head, it'd be:

- lanky and above average height (5"7)

- Albino, specifically, with more pinkish eyes then red. And very long shaggy white hair, like... uh... medium length and in a braid, like a French braid. You know the style. Can't explain it, just vibes.

- He also wears sunglasses, since, you know, albino. And needs to rake vitamins daily.

- definitely wears red and brown. Like, brown trousers, brown shoes, red turtle neck jumper with a brown suit jacket that matches the trousers.

- walks weirdly. And horrible posture.

That's Sims in my head, for some reason.

Anyways, final thoughts are... uh...

Definitely some weird paranormal shit is happening. Not sure about the books though, wild shit.

Statement ends.