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psychreviews2 · 2 months ago

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Meditation in Daily Life (Pt. 2)

Conventional Happiness and its Restrictions

The insight learned about conventional happiness is the required need for great tension to manufacture an intense pleasurable release later on, when the goal is achieved, but what if that release never comes? Even further, there's a requirement that we choose which targets that we want to tense ourselves against, which is why hobbies are so enjoyable, but unfortunately the workplace is usually quite different for most people. Jobs we like, for example, require just enough skill to deal with the moving parts given to us to work on, where we need a very strong acceptance of what we're handed to avoid falling into a grind, and a thick skin for rejection. A recent movie, Kinds of Kindness, by Yorgos Lanthimos, addresses the tension ambitious people are under for most of their day.

The reality is that, unless you are able to save enough resources, what common parlance is called "fuck-you money," you are dependent on employers for your lifestyle. It's not a great position to be in when authority figures make most of the decisions of your life. Just like how the powerful easily make good decisions for themselves, they cannot find the energy or won't extend that empathy towards others, especially if it's a decision that would put you in a better position than they are in. They have the power to withdraw rewards, leaving all your goods and your home contingent on their preferences and goodwill. This of course is connected with the banking system, especially when you need a mortgage to find a home fast enough for your biological clock to fill them with children, and especially if there's consumer debt used to keep up with the Joneses to avoid rejection from an important friend circle.

Kinds of Kindness | Official Trailer | Searchlight Pictures - Yorgos Lanthimos: https://youtu.be/NGOL2_mI9Hw?si=nm3K6jRVKqm129i3

Kinds of Kindness Explained (Ending & Full Breakdown) - Spoilers: https://youtu.be/zpeu-NYnxzc?si=hRxhNF0hHseVUBcB

When you want something, you have to think of how many hours you have to work, and how much taxes you have to pay in order to get that thing that will give you only temporary satisfaction. If you're in a high powered job, you also have to think about how far you will fall if you have to leave it, because it's not assumed that another firm in the same industry will take you on. One of the big fears for professionals is falling into the working class service sector when a profession has ended for them. Expectations and entitlements can cause a lot of suffering in a big fall. Intimate relationships are also contingent on expectations. If those expectations are not met, or if the goal posts are moved, as one partner develops past another, then rejection is likely. Even spiritual communities can create rules, even inane ones, that will lead to excommunication. The R.M.F. character in that movie is the closest to thing being Zen during all that eventfulness. Realizing that relief is ultimately more accessible in oneself, releases some of the dependence on always going outward for comfort, so that when there is renunciation it is more authentic and less miserly than forcefully suppressing oneself.

Her - Samantha Leaves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXTQwRf7iRg

This lack of independence is deeply embedded in culture and the information that we consume. Our alliances are to the paycheque and most conversations have truth blunted by some form of gaslighting and fake worlds built up on a tissues of lies, to allow hierarchies to go along to get along. Being candid, truthful, and honest is scary for people because it can threaten power nodes, and let's face it, people are addicted to their lifestyles, and losing your standard of living, and possibly your family, are a whole lot of withdrawal symptoms to contend with in the survival brain. Yet at the same time, people yearn for independence because freedom has a felt sense of reduced repression and increased opportunities to choose your own challenges, which leads back to conventional wellbeing. Being able to develop yourself is already a political act that at least involves moving beyond viewpoints from your parents, and eventually people have to assess the political spectrum and all authority figures that directly restrict life.

Overcoming the Fear of Rejection - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/AQxZ1zl8o2c?si=sKxz9RbQDP36-Nsm

The Cure for Insecurity in Relationships - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/X7OwLAONIm8?si=BdcjEcGocGs6ABlb

Meditation: Bringing Expectation to an End - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/EggOerFxWi8?si=LXjfATlig-TPyh5r

One of the best intersections between restriction and freedom of speech, between power and consent, and those scary partnerships between governments and corporations, is the role of journalism. In an interview between Tucker Carlson and Glenn Greenwald, they talk about the life of trying to be a journalist. It should be all about criticizing exploitation, power and corruption, but when the journalist needs to feed their kids, how much of this is possible?

Glenn: "One of the things you have as an adult, I think is the greatest obligation, is to go back and reevaluate what you were trained and indoctrinated, inculcated to believe, and not just reflexively continue to believe that in adulthood, because it was indoctrinated, but to reassess whether or not those really are your views as a result of your own critical analysis, or whether you have different views, including the role of our own country. All of these things are so important, to not being a propagandized kind of automaton...I've had success in my journalism career. I'm at the point where I feel I don't ever need to be captive of my audience or feed them what they want to hear. I have always tried to cultivate an audience that knows that they can't come to me and expect to hear what they want to hear. At times, they are going to hear things that they violently disagree with...but that's part of what I hope they're coming to me for...But for a lot of people in journalism, especially with the destruction of jobs and the erosion of job security, as you know, every major media is laying off people in huge numbers and it's kind of a collapsing industry. The pressure and need to conform is greater than ever, because most people don't have that privilege or that security that you and I both have at this point in our lives and career."

This skepticism that Glenn had, as one example, towards the Russiagate scandal, was echoed by others in legacy media, but he asked them "why aren't you expressing it? But I know why. Because if they did, even one time, they'd become the target of the liberal mob on Twitter, that would put pressure on their editors to fire them. They'd be the first to get laid off, the last to get hired. And so our journalism profession has become one where conformity is by far the highest value. And I think for those of us who aren't quite as vulnerable or as insecure in terms of our career position or need to keep a job, it's almost like you have an obligation to create that space." In the end, when you are talking to people in a professional context, you're mostly getting a response that is colored by the fact that this person represents a brand that feeds their families. It's hard to really get at what they truly think about anything.

Glenn Greenwald—Tucker Carlson: https://youtu.be/LT6kEK02_V4?si=3TJjClNUtDnQ0alk

Now some people have the ambition to be super successful, because they have the energy, the skills, and the opportunities to do so, but these are low probability situations for most people. It can cause a lot of consternation for people who realize it will never happen, but Francis wants to remind people "to be a celebrity, to be loved by others, to be rich, are not really sought for the sake of being powerful, wealthy, famous, but as a means towards happiness. The sad discovery, that we all have to make at some point, is that these recipes don't work."

"So many celebrities are miserable, die of drug addiction. Powerful heads of states, cabinet members, politicians, are also miserable. I had the opportunity to look closely at politicians. They weren't happy. [Instead of indirect happiness], why not try to find the place of happiness and aim directly for it? What can be understood is what it is that doesn't deliver happiness. What we believe, that objects or events, that we desire, if we acquire them, or if they happen, will make us happy. If we closely investigate what happens, upon the acquisition, for example, of a long desired object, instantaneously the desire, [or lack] disappears. It vanishes. Experientially, happiness is the experience of the desireless state. Pretty soon a new fear, a new desire comes up, and happiness disappears, vanishes again. Through the acquisition of objects, or the actualization of events we can only get fleeting moments of happiness, and there is a very heavy price to pay for these acquisitions. A lot of toiling."

'How to find the direct path to happiness' - Francis Lucille: https://youtu.be/FpTHP12YKDA?si=S00Fx4o0d6a-24Ki

This reassurance may still not be enough, and many people at a retreat will tell a teacher like Rupert "I'm still not happy." That's because they haven't experientially rested their awareness enough to disengage from the search. There is still a continued exhausting search for the ultimate intellectual food, yet the intellectual side also needs to rest. They don't realize that their habitual preferences are still very strong, as well as the identity self associated with them. The more preferences one has, the more inflexibility, the more misery accrues, as well as boredom.

"Everything that you say Yes to in your life makes you happy. Everything you say No to makes you unhappy. The Yes is the nature of awareness. We do not have to struggle to change our resistance into welcoming, but rather to see that it is the nature of awareness. Awareness cannot resist experience...We are liberating awareness from these residues of feeling and the more awareness is liberated from these feelings, the water of awareness becomes clearer and clearer. Awareness increasingly tastes itself as it is...That awareness is the shining of happiness. No feeling is unbearable. Awareness can bare everything." When there's indecision, we can "make a decision that comes from the deepest possible place in our self and that is not influenced by the local, temporal elements in the situation...It is not our circumstances that take us away from Being, it is we, who lose ourselves in our circumstances...Don't lose yourself in the world. Allow the world to lose itself in you..."

Saying Yes to All Experience - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/KeMwYSVOxbQ?si=XnckU5_B8k3IBiQg

How Can I Taste Happiness at All Times - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/26_GZW6g400?si=cNHcePGerz0xq8JX

The Tantric Approach to Difficult Emotions - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/3BleEfETm2Y?si=Vkpxh5_eonvwnmzm

Clarity in Making Decisions - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/wRwU8CmuLbk?si=7L2gnCAzHqdkx7d4

Understanding The Voice of Intuition - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/5aYfL7-PkqY?si=72f-74b8R5MELGDl

Guided Meditation: There Is No Path or Journey to Undertake - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/hgyJNJ-0jTQ?si=PGniEnHKBGjE6ChS

Guided Meditation: Let the World Lose Itself in You - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/MSkMwzFu48k?si=Fiy9ZJVOCq0kiy0Y

Guided Meditation: Stop Practicing Mindfulness! To Meditate, No Need to Concentrate - Francis Lucille: https://youtu.be/15BxTqozA0I?si=oOBYqh6Gue4ydvKv

Non Duality Meditation: Suspended in PURE LIGHT - Francis Lucille: https://youtu.be/VKN9ireUIh0?si=HSY3csRTS2ARGnjK

Find the One Who Focuses Their Attention. HINT: You'll Never Find Such a One. All is a Cosmic Event. - Francis Lucille: https://youtu.be/QlbNhw6F7Ss?si=P0aLNjLuNFCiiwFd

Non Duality Meditation: SURRENDER & Letting Go of the Controller - Francis Lucille: https://youtu.be/0gK8Xl4pUhM?si=fWD6Z1GRNSQ-VroN

Non Duality Meditation: Can I Contemplate The Sense Of Lack? - Francis Lucille: https://youtu.be/smYYlrDK5-I?si=yTeR1FkU8nNJOWZc

Don't Allow Yourself to Know What You Are - Francis Lucille: https://youtu.be/_vIbjmZWQ9A?si=XyarKkK5H90NWXvy

Francis Lucille: Finding Your own answers: https://youtu.be/TDzIhENGZK0?si=ci-Z9aZp1O3QJQr2

Collapsing the Distance Between God and Ourself - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/VizTr68p2v8?si=AQpBxI4V4XWqkzJB

A Natural, Effortless, Vanishing Direction Towards Presence - Francis Lucille: https://youtu.be/xsWP6WVksAc?si=z5T1_6_Xk3Lk0Izz

Guided Meditation: From the Many to the One - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/iPDT-l9ac8g?si=HZUUcJS0tK5jYnIb

As one begins to act more in more accordance with a learning mentality, as opposed to rigid identities, the separation between daily life and spiritualty collapses, where survival reactions are used more when it's practical, instead of wasting energy in inappropriate situations. "Situations increasingly lose their capacity to veil this innate peace." A practical balance between four dimensions, boundaries and the absolute are negotiated. Although, an acceptance of some forms of anger and outrage can be integrated, but not to defend a fictitious "I" but to defend the body itself. "You shouldn't feel that because there is something in me that is unharmable, therefore I should be able to tolerate any kind of behavior. Don't allow yourself to remain in an abusive relationship."

How Do I Remember Myself When Facing Challenges? - Rupert Spira: https://youtu.be/WDldXF2VEmU?si=Cz415Y9_UELSMXeo

Expectations

As skills develop, habits begin to change for two reasons. Partly because of discontinuing impulses, as Francis notes, and also because new programs are being installed. "The way a program gets erased, it's through our forgetting it, by which I mean, our not repeating it. Over time, these patterns, if we don't repeat them, will get erased. There is also a proactive way to erase a file, as we know, is to replace it with a different file, in which case, all the information that was previously recorded gets erased." In some situations, there are psychological hang ups, like personality disorders, whether mild or severe, that may not get so easily erased. The need for psychology and different modalities that go in depth with a person's very particular symptoms becomes a priority when meditation hits its limit.

Don't listen to this unless you are ready to meditate | Francis Lucille:https://youtu.be/luaRszcNxvk?si=1-e8U2dZeWGwSdT7

OCD / Nonduality will not fix the character - Lisa Cairns:https://youtu.be/30PP7sTC504?si=8veik9nClziIX_-m

Effort is also now practical, in that the subconscious is automatically seeking to reduce effort where it's not needed. Closing one's eyes in meditation becomes more optional. Often when there's a lot of relief accrued, the meditator may start to close their eyes when they begin to feel some discomfort, and then feel that they actually don't need to. They are not hiding in a psychological location when awareness pervades all experience. Self-esteem appears now to be a thought impulse, a verb instead of a noun. Tight muscles around the sense doors can be relaxed, because no control is required for their operation. One can stay with the vibrations and get on with life.

When advertising beckons, it's understood immediately that the awareness itself is the priority for happiness. Tension and release is seen to be addictive and so going directly to release can be a method to weaken those bonds, as well as concentration practice can be used as a replacement activity for tension and release that's typically sought in acquisitions, curated experiences, and substances. When you are dependent on the air you breathe and the food you eat, the individual identity conceptually expands to include vital situations required for your survival. You can also see the interdependence of others so that when you want to strengthen your health and wealth, it's easier to produce more, than trying to grow at the expense of others. You are conceptually understanding the interconnection with the universe. Deep awakenings for Stephen allows for "our self-identity [to become] transparent. We can't see it, we can't experience it. There isn't a sense 'I'm doing this,' there isn't a 'me' driving it, or organizing it. There's no personality involvement."

Contrary to Francis, Stephen says that the depth of Kensho and Satori can be measured by "how long the sense of self is suspended before it reengages. Some Kensho can be a moment or two. The more deep experience, the absence of self, would be present for weeks if not months, before the sense of self would assert itself with any strength. When the sense of self arises again, it's not quite the same...A deeper awakening is called Satori. The difference between Kensho and Satori is the 51% rule, which is how much of consciousness has realized itself as the absolute. The absolute awakens to itself."

"How much of the individual consciousness does that awakening land in? Once it's the majority of consciousness, then what happens is the foundation, the sense of 'this is who fundamentally who I am shifts from the sense of self, the normal sense of self that everyone in the world holds, it shifts to true nature, to the qualities of the absolute in you...We can touch in and feel the qualities of the absolute in our experience, in our sense of self. It's sort of tied up into that. As long as one maintains meditation practice, that foundation remains. The third significant awakening in the Zen map is Daigo-tettei, which means final or full awakening. It really isn't final in the sense that there's no further awakenings or realizations to happen. Those continue forever as long as one is practicing. There's no end to the mystery that can be revealed in the absolute. Two significant events happen in that realization. [The sense of self] doesn't see and experience itself as a distinct being. It believes it's part of the whole. The caregiver and the baby, from the infant's perspective, are one...The worthlessness within, the core wound. The personality is constructed on the core wound to hide others attention away from the sense of valuelessness, worthlessness, unlovability, the bad, broken, unfixable, all of that."

"The realization highlights whatever's not matching, whatever is incongruent with the realization, with the understanding from the realization. So we are constantly working our personal material, refining who we are, becoming a better vessel for the absolute, and that's when the Daigo-tettei realization can happen when we're ready to resolve the core wound. We're ready to go into it to find out what's true about it and to drop what's false. In the Daigo-tettei realization, the reason it's called the final enlightenment, is because the sense of self falls away and doesn't return. I only know a handful of people, maybe five or six. I've had a couple of students who've had this experience and I have a couple that are working on this realization, it's approaching. So it is happening, it's just very rare, because you have to work through a lot of the personal material, and many people aren't willing to work and move into that deep vulnerability, asking 'maybe I am worthless, maybe I am broken, unfixable?' That's what we have to be willing to witness."

The Zen Map of Awakening - Stephen Snyder: https://youtu.be/LyTwsPkwLHg?si=6QxBSQfNnu1y1H9c

Unconditioned Love Challenges Our Conviction of Being Broken - Stephen Snyder: https://youtu.be/kj00qOCqZVg?si=5V73msaXbS2sMUzP

In all psychological modalities we have to witness our own cringe at a deep sensate level to discard what was unreal and adapt to what is real. Broken human beings need to do this if they want to test out and see if they can adapt and learn beyond the old conceptual imitations and identities. When we check in with the absolute, the incongruencies between the old self-image and that peace can also open opportunities for conventional self-development. The lack of deservedness for satisfying cravings that are natural can disengage unnecessary renunciation, allow new skills to be developed, and let go of rigid identities and habits for inappropriate desires for one's age, health, or personal situation. This is kind of like when society gets you down with harsh judgments that are permanent, merciless, and unbending, and you are able to prove those people wrong in a shocking way. It can be done by creating new identities, but it's even easier to do when you're not trying to prove anything. You're just learning and developing until others notice that you're skills and health appearance has improved.

Self-sabotage: a nervous system & unhealed trauma perspective - Irene Lyon: https://youtu.be/sMzHgLivReY?si=HANJF3EPZm3eUtWB

Self-images can still arise, because we have to think about the past and future, and it includes our involvement in them, but it goes more towards adaptivity. Collaborator with Stephen Snyder, on Practicing the Jhanas, Tina Rasmussen learned the balance between adaptation and awakening in that "it's particularly helpful looking at those deeper layers and also getting some space from them. This is part of what we're doing in practice is getting some space with identifying with these patterns or with the self-images around the pattern, 'I'm a smart person, I'm a dumb person, an athletic person, I'm a clumsy person.' We have tons of self-images that are the building blocks of the 'me' of the personality, of the ego-self that is possible to thin out and digest, but these are also what blocks us from really having direct experience of our deeper nature which is where the real freedom lies. It's when that can start shining through, and in most psychology a healthy ego is the end point, and that's an extremely worthwhile goal, because if we have a healthy ego-self it's much more able to withstand the pressures of a spiritual path where we're actually thinning the 'me,' but on the spiritual path we're looking at going beyond that, going beyond the healthy ego-self and really understanding what we are that is beyond that."

Tina Rasmussen - Using the Enneagram as a Tool on the Spiritual Path: https://youtu.be/CkKd-PjxG5s?si=XVCN--firUfDK2IW

Expectations also have to be checked with reality, in that most people will find progress to be gradual. This is why there are so many scandals, especially sexual scandals, in Buddhist organizations. With a giving up of some inhibition, there will likely not be enough disenchantment to prevent people from trying to mix their genetic material with others, as Guru Viking queried to Tina, especially when power differentials between master and student can trigger mutual temptation. The reality is that results with these practices are there, but people will get off the train at different stations and the vast majority of practitioners will be far away from achieving 4th path, for example.

"I'll go back to the Theravadan four stage model. To me it's practical and that's what I like about it. The first stage in the Theravadan model is that there are three defilements, so this is like the core personality patterns which happen to map on with the Enneagram, which I love, our desire, so wanting things, aversion wanting to push things away, also fears and then delusion, where we're just basically unconscious to ourselves and other things. Those are the core patterns, and those will at the first stage drop by like twenty five percent, and the belief that I'm a personality, that's really what I am at the core, being totally identified with the personality, that goes away permanently. To me that's what's significant about the first stage because you never see what you are the same way again, and even if you forget or fall into delusion you never really forget what you are, and the reduction in suffering, and also like in Buddhism, you don't believe that doing rituals and rites and ceremonies is really going to cause awakening."

"So a 25% reduction of suffering, that's pretty good, and also your behaviors would improve theoretically 25%. Second stage it goes down to 50%. Third stage 75%. In full Arahant you just aren't driven by those core personality patterns anymore at all. So to me that's kind of a useful model, and this also explains how people can have really genuine deep awakenings, but they're still acting out the instinctual drives of self-preservation, the sexual drive, the social drive. Those aren't completely subsumed under the Enlightenment drive yet until Stage four, so I mean to me it's like the idea that sexuality is somehow wrong, that's not really part of it, it's more am I doing harm? That's really to me more of the question, am I doing harm in life? How much am I identified with the ego self? That to me is a way of understanding the stages that's much more neutral."

Ep22: Jhana Master - Tina Rasmussen Ph.D - Guru Viking: https://youtu.be/Z9gr7aqGsOw?si=046_09mFg3cxEJRq

Renunciation not as sacrifice

Life in any world is incomplete, insatiate, the slave of craving ~ MN82

Some of the unexpected highlights of spiritual renunciation is the relief that happens when you've gotten rid of vices and all the people surrounding them. A good question to ask is how strong are the desires of the conceptual self versus the needs of the body? Is it out of balance? Sometimes people can only really test themselves with renunciation when they go on a retreat when they have no choice. That kind of sampling can motivate a minimalistic lifestyle afterwards. Rob Burbea explains how it can also help practice at home. "So if we think about the path and we think about factors of the path, and there are all these lists in Buddhist teaching—there are seven of this and eight of that, and four of this and whatnot. And renunciation is one of them. But these other factors of the path, they have a mutually feeding relationship with renunciation. What that means is that developing renunciation, inquiring into that, opening into that actually feeds, develops our equanimity, our love, our joy, our mindfulness, our calmness, etc. And similarly, equanimity, mindfulness, joy, calmness, all that, feeds, nourishes our capacity for renunciation. So that kind of two-way causality is really common in the Dharma. Positive qualities tend to feed each other."

Rob goes onto a list benefits, including spaciousness, because the environment in the home reflects directly the habits in the mind. If you have less things to take care of your mind is less burdened by all that maintenance. If you are chasing after less things, your schedule is more open providing a lightness of being. It's also easier to make priorities when there's simplicity and clarity with what we choose to keep as our possessions and our goals. The clarity is a little scary at times because it points towards facing death, because the sense of legacy of what we want to leave behind usually gets buried in distraction, but now it comes into clarity. Developing practice when you're younger also creates a stress buffer that allows one to face death with a host of habitual skills to put to use when it inevitably approaches. All these things add to a sense of confidence that one can live without a lot of things, and if our priorities are being taken care of and life has purpose, then nothing is really missing.

There are also spiritual goals that can be touched at when more time is available to cultivate a meditation practice. You can easily watch movies and TV shows ad nauseum in today's cornucopia of content, but they often skim the surface of these spiritual topics and lots of wonder, beauty, peace, and love is left unexplored and undeveloped in the mind. It's hard to find great art that doesn't dull the mind. "Sensitivity is another aspect. There's something about this whole path that moves towards a deepening sensitivity. When we indulge or overindulge, what happens to the sensitivity of being? Does it get dulled? What happens to our joy and our capacity for joy when our sensitivity is dulled? What happens to our sense of spiritual urgency, our sense of there's something deep and available in life? There are beautiful, deep, rich things available to all of us. And sometimes we feel that, and we feel it deeply as a deep hunger. And sometimes it gets clouded over. It gets dulled because the sensitivity is dulled. What dulls it? Indulgence and that kind of being caught up in acquisition."

Rob didn't mince words when he talked about the sense of lack in regular consciousness. It's not an easy thing to get over, partly because of biology and partly the momentum of habit. "I think from a Dharma perspective, it comes from fundamental delusion, from Avijjā. When there's this belief in a self that's real, and really separate from others and the rest of the universe, then automatically, just in that proposition, there's a sense of having to defend oneself, having to look out for oneself, having to feed oneself, which is also a biological necessity. All of that, inherent in that sense of separateness, inherent in the sense of this self being something real which I have to look out for, and all that. In its very finiteness, in its separateness, there's going to be a sense of lack there."

The difficulty is the dullness that creeps in that makes people restless and the search turns from material to spiritual. There is more on offer if one is willing to look. "There are different kinds of happinesses in plural. If I walk down Newton Abbot high street, there's an Arcade. So I could go in there and play the slot machines, and there's a degree of happiness. Compare that with the happiness of however it's felt when the mettā [loving-kindness] has felt good for you." He then quoted a Rumi poem that reminds us of the freshness that we all want which typically only happens after a deep sleep, but can be tapped into with meditative skill."

When it's cold and raining, you are more beautiful.

And the snow brings me even closer to your lips.

The inner secret, that which was never born, you are that freshness, and I am with you now.

I can't explain the goings, or the comings. You enter suddenly,

and I am nowhere again. Inside the majesty. ~ Rumi

Renunciation and Joy - Rob Burbea: https://dharmaseed.org/talks/12860/

The Freshness - Rumi: https://www.best-poems.net/rumi/the_freshness.html

Deepening Into Emptiness (Question and Answer Session 4) - Rob Burbea: https://dharmaseed.org/talks/12520/

Contemplative Practice: http://psychreviews.org/category/contemplativepractice/

#advaita vedanta #buddhism #meditation

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justinspoliticalcorner · 9 months ago

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Eleanor Klibanoff at Texas Tribune:

The Texas Supreme Court has unanimously rejected the most significant challenge to Texas’ new abortion laws yet, ruling Friday that the medical exceptions in the law were broad enough to withstand constitutional challenge.

The case, Zurawski v. Texas, started with five women arguing the state’s near-total abortion laws stopped them from getting medical care for their complicated pregnancies. In the year plus it took to move through the court system, the case has grown to include 20 women and two doctors. In August, a Travis County judge issued a temporary injunction that allowed Texans with complicated pregnancies to get an abortion if their doctor made a “good faith judgment” that it was necessary. The Texas Office of the Attorney General appealed. The Texas Supreme Court overturned that ruling Friday, saying it “departed from the law as written without constitutional justification.” While the opinion was unanimous, Justice Brett Busby��issued a concurring opinion that left the door open to a broader challenge to the law.

Zurawski v. Texas was a pioneering case in post-Roe America, the first challenge to a state’s abortion bans on behalf of women with complicated pregnancies. At least three other states have followed suit, and it led to a related case, in which Kate Cox, an actively pregnant woman in Dallas sued to be allowed to terminate her pregnancy. The Texas Supreme Court rejected Cox’s plea in December, which many saw as a likely foreshadow of how the court might rule in Zurawski v. Texas. On Friday, those suspicions were confirmed when the court offered a ruling very similar in nature to the Cox case. “A physician who tells a patient, ‘Your life is threatened by a complication that has arisen during your pregnancy, and you may die, or there is a serious risk you will suffer substantial physical impairment unless an abortion is performed,’ and in the same breath states ‘but the law won’t allow me to provide an abortion in these circumstances’ is simply wrong in that legal assessment,” the court wrote.

How the case unfolded

The initial lawsuit was filed in March 2023, and unlike previous wholesale, pre-enforcement challenges to abortion bans, this case focused on a very narrow argument — women with complicated pregnancies were being denied medically necessary abortions because doctors were unclear on how and when they could act.

After the overturn of Roe v. Wade in summer 2022, Texas banned all abortions except to save the life of the pregnant patient. Almost immediately, women began to come forward with stories of difficult pregnancies worsened by doctors’ hesitations and uncertainty. Amanda Zurawski, the named plaintiff in the suit, was 18 weeks pregnant with a daughter they’d named Willow when she experienced preterm prelabor rupture of membranes. Despite the condition being fatal to the fetus and posing significant risks to the pregnant patient, her doctors refused to terminate the pregnancy because there was still fetal cardiac activity. Eventually, Zurawski went into sepsis and spent three days in the intensive care unit. While she survived, the infection has made it difficult for her and her husband to conceive again.

[...]

Friday’s ruling

In Friday’s ruling, the court ruled that only one of the 22 plaintiffs in the Zurawski suit had standing to sue — Karsan, the Houston OB/GYN who had agreed to perform Cox’s abortion. “We conclude that the Attorney General directly threatened enforcement against Dr. Karsan in response to her stated intent to engage in what she contends is constitutionally protected activity,” the justices wrote. “A state official’s letter threatening enforcement of a specific law against a plaintiff seeking relief from such enforcement is a sufficient showing of a threat of enforcement to establish standing to sue.” The trial court ruled in the injunction that a doctor should be allowed to perform an abortion when they deemed it necessary in their “good faith judgment.” Friday’s ruling found the trial judge overstepped, and said the way the law is written — allowing abortions based on a doctor’s “reasonable medical judgment” — is clear enough.

The all-GOP Texas Supreme Court hate women full stop, as the court rejected the Zurawski v. Texas lawsuit challenging the Lone Star State’s harsh abortion bans.

#Zurawski v. Texas #Abortion Bans #Abortion #Anti Abortion Extremism #Texas #Texas Supreme Court #Kate Cox #Cox v. Texas #Amanda Zurawski

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h-doodles · 2 years ago

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hi, can I ask for your top ten favorite fics ? :)

Hi anon hiiiiiiii welcome!!! u caught me at a good time, ur soooo lucky bc i just glanced at my notifs and saw this ask get sent <3 KDBDKDKK its been literal years since i checked my ask box 👉🏻👈🏻

BUT ANYWAY! top 10 of all time???? be warned that while i am currently enchanted with ONE (1) 6 ft 3 in actress, I still do consider myself a girlie with varied tastes so. my old & other fandoms are mixed in my current list!

without further ado:

#10: knowledge for knowledge's sake by tigriswolf (ao3) || quite an old piece detailing how a change in the personality of one Hermione Granger could have had a massive impact to the story— and while I don't fuck with JKTerfling, the fics I've read from the old fans in the HP fandom are still honestly, some of the BEST I have EVER read. This one in particular irrevocably changed me as a teen, and is one story that I continue to draw inspiration upon when I create dark!AUs for my SI/OCs.

#9: Zutopia by itslivybear (ao3) || the fluff, the worldbuilding, an AU where Izuku is mentored by our beloved Rat God & together, they fix the world problems? GIRLIES catch me forever LOVING this concept like you could NEVER believe <3

#8: (not so) Bad Idea by @sarahpaulsonsoftie (tumblr post) || HEE HEE ITS LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE LIKE HELP THESE BITCHES GAY!!!!!! GOOD FOR THEM!!!!!!! ft a meddling plantita who really mothered; Marilyn Thornhill <3

#7: Hold my Soul by connyhascontrol (ao3) || I got into Trixie/Katya completely by one @montaguehphm introducing me to UNHhhh (HIIIIIII bestie I hope everything is going good and that ur gay keeps slay <3) and I haven't recovered ever since— reading the fics by writers on AO3 was a happy little accident, but one i will FOREVER love, nonetheless. Anyway, this particular fic was SO brilliantly original and YET so entrenched in the personalities between T&K that it ABSOLUTELY just wrecks me everytime I reread it. anyways hi @connyhascontrol pls know ur brilliant <3

#6: I think I'm gonna call him out by hellelf (ao3, users only) || again, another AU for Hermione fic, that's chockfull of world building and interesting relationships! It's been unupdated from its 5 chapters since 2021, but I still LOVE to look back at it from time to time 💖

#5: The Confectionary Chronicles series by cheshire_caroll (ao3); Into the Black series by angelholme (ao3); Hermione Granger & the Serpent's Renaissance series by epsi1on (ao3) AND New Blood by artemisgirl (ff.net) || if it's not evident, i am an absolute slut for fics ft. Hermione being badass & put into a v cool plot w/ insane amounts of world building, so yeah, def a top 5 most contender <3

#4: The Infinitely Curious Woman by chararii (ao3) || literally ALL of their fics are absolute bangers, and while I forever mourn their decision to stop all Naruto fics thanks to the great harddrive incident of 2022, I have nonetheless the GREATEST respect to their skill & talent to bring SUCH LIFE to their stories. In particular, I chose this particular fic of theirs because the premise of Sakura making her own way by shedding off her morality the more she learned & got influenced by her 2 greatest teachers was absolutely nothing short of DIVINE. It was and IS such an inspiration to read, reread & explore, and I will forever love @chararii for this brilliant piece of a fic

#3: The Endgame that never was series by @heleneplays aka me (tumblr masterlist) || ok I know this seems self-absorbed but DEAR MOTHER OF CHRISTIE i literally WENT OFF for a whole ass day and a half going feral for the Relics of the Lost Age series book 3 finale (hi @jamesshawgames pls know im still here and STILL simping even tho i am currently having a brainrot for a different thing on main sjdhdkdk i hope ur doing well dearest mr. chief author sir!!!!) and created this series from my dreams + nonstop ben&ben playlist— and honestly, I think it's VERY sexy of me <3 bc I rarely like things that I do after a while, but THIS— alongside Universal Constant (ao3) are truly my BEST work <3

#2: Across the Stars by nomisunrider (ao3) || I CAN NEVER STRESS THIS ENOUGH, HOW MUCH THIS FIC ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY LIKE. its been 4 YEARS since it was completed but HOLY. MOTHERFUCKING. GOD. The story between Michael & Philippa persisting beyond the odds, in a twist of the canon happenings in Star Trek: Discovery is FOREVER ingrained in my heart and soul and honestly once again THANK YOU @nomi--sunrider for SUCH a beautiful story 🥺🥺🥺

and drum roll please!!!

#1 (current): I literally cannot pick between Better than Gold + Little Cat by @lady-dimimi / @azu-zu (tumblr post for BtG | LC ao3); How to woo a Hot Principal by @softshrimpy (ao3); and Lipstick Stains by @weemssapphic (ao3) || LIKE HOLY SHIT THE FUCKING AMOUNT OF TALENT, PLOT, FLUFF, DRAMA AND UTTER GAYNESS THESE FICS BRING ME— its SOOOOO insanity inducing in the best of ways <3 also, i really count myself lucky to get into a very active (x reader) sphere LIKE ITS SOOOOO INSANE i get to consume CONTENT daily for such wonderful characters and these special morsels be like. authors, I am sending you all a MWAH from me

#meows at you meows at you #thank u for the ask lol im sorry it took literally HOURS i had to look thru my ao3 rec list to pick lmao #anyways MWAH #anon asks #answered asks #lee answers #fic recs #personal.txt #clown.txt #simp.txt

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7grandmel · 2 years ago

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Todays rip: 29/07/2023

Maskettaman - Dr. Pavel's Fly-So-Good

Season 6 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume Ruby

Ripped by Dirty Spaceman

youtube

Tentative rip name: Batman V Superman – Dr Pavel's Fly-So-Good

One of my favorite rips made during Season 2 was Battle! The Trainer Inside Your Head!, a rip I initially missed due to being exclusive to an album release. As the years go by, I've begun using these albums as my primary way of listening to rips, which has occasionally given me the inverse problem - missing out on all-time classic rips due to not being on albums. This is less of an issue with Season 7 being the current Season, as I of course try to listen to most rips being uploaded as they come out, but there's still some rips from Season 5 and 6 that I've just not given enough of a chance due to being YouTube exclusive. Such is the case with todays rip, which remained YouTube exclusive for over a year before this post finally gave it its long overdue album release: Maskettaman - Dr. Pavel's Fly-So-Good.

Initially, I was going to dedicate this day to another piece of excellent Baneposting, but things took an interesting turn. See, in Season 1's fervent experimentation and wild west upload schedule, there were a handful of jokes used in only a few rips each that simply didn't catch on for a variety of reasons. Baneposting, a long-running gag of making fun of Bane's first scene in The Dark Knight Rises, is a perfect example of this - due to its comedic elements not really stemming from a melodic audio source and mostly being carried by dialogue, it's difficult to really make a rip hit home in relying on just it as the crux of the joke. Despite people's affection for the joke - and how it even got tied to some of the earliest lore of the channel - it simply wasn't as natural a fit for the channel as many other of its contenders.

Quality Baneposting, both on SiIva and out, is not something you can simply churn out, and its left the meme as a sort of cult classic. Which is demonstrated perfectly by just how easily I'd glossed over today's rip - a loveletter to the meme and a tribute to one of its final big appearances on SiIva in Season 2, Lazy Banes ~Crashing in Paradise~, which is what I was originally planning on covering today. Both it and Maskettaman - Dr. Pavel's Fly-So-Good share the same basic concept - replacing the vocals of the original song with a duo performance between fan inimations of Dr. Pavel and Bane, with lyrics relevant to the meme's origin. This kind of parody has its roots in the 2014 classic Bane Star (the same concept applied to Smash Mouth's All-Star) and SiIva carries the torch forward with perfect execution.

Be it the slightly off-kilter singing performance, the never-not-funny Bane impression, or the clever yet absurd lyric changes, it works just as well today as it did in 2014 and in 2017. Something about the crazy energetic and happy Ska vibes of Superman meshed with the dour theming of Dark Knight Rises just makes it such a pleasant listen, and makes every change in the lyrics stick out in the funniest way possible. I mean, really:

So here I am Starting fires all the time The fire rising all the time The master plan is on my mind

That's perfection! The choice for song to cover is perfection! Everything about this rip, despite its lackluster views, is absolutely perfect in carrying on this wonderfully stupid little in-joke. I've made mention before that SiIva is the type of channel where nothing truly gets forgotten due to just how many people are on it, and its never not delightful to see that idea confirmed again and again.

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moonspirit · 1 year ago

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HI HELLO WOFE!!

For the questions game!

3, 7, 5, 12, 14, 20, 31, 35

-Clouds ☁️

HELLO WAIF!!! This got long cuz I can't shut up, so under the cut #_#

3 - 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of? OOOOkay! Interstellar, Titanic, and Your Name (although other equally strong contenders are the Avatar movies (james cameron), any Ghibli movie, and The Martian, which I remember you love too T^T Yay common movie!)

7 - what scares you the most and why? Forgetting. More than being forgotten, which doesn't really bother me, it's forgetting. Even if a portion of my life has been dark or bleak, there's been a lot of nice things to appreciate even then; I try to write it all down in a journal every day. I think life's value is really all the moments and memories that fill up over time; I'm scared of a day coming when I don't remember all the lovely things I've encountered in my life.

5 - what made you start your blog? Ahh... I've honestly been here a long time xD Since late 2013 or early 2014, I don't remember very well, but O L D. At first I just started one to post my graphic designing pieces, but then stayed for the fandom culture and very specific humour which made me feel at home. I've left now and then, but I've always come back.

12 - what’s some good advice you want to share? This is tricky, because I give myself advice, and don't follow it #_# But something that has helped me a lot is to see only the present moment as truly valuable, and to soak in every bit of that, in touch, taste, smell and seeing. That way you've lived that minute or that hour, fully, and even if you don't get to live the next, you can find some peace. Why I say it helped me is because I always fret about the future, about whether this or that will happen, etc, and this shut up all those unwanted anxieties. 'Now' matters. Tomorrow will come, but I'll deal with it when it comes.

14 - what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do? I think... to live more spontaneously? XD I'm a planned/organized person, I need to see things on an agenda to breathe easy lmao. I envy people who can just live everyday spontaneously as it comes, without a care in the world.

20 - favourite things about the night? EVERYTHING!!!!! ALL OF IT!!!!! I love most the drop in temperature, the silence, the occasional owls and bats, and also the lights in the distance. I live in a suburb, and while the immediate vicinity isn't bustling with noise and is mostly covered with trees and wildnerness, I can see the city in the distance. I like watching the pinpricks of moving vehicles, and wondering where they're going and to whom. The best thing of course, is the night sky. I spend inordinate amounts of time studying the stars and constellations haha xD Still don't have a telescope to see Jupiter's moons, but! one day! soon!

31 - are you messy or organised? V E R Y organized. Though in times of stress, it devolves into organized chaos, but still organized. My phase of using colour coded memo pads and cute stationery has long gone (tho I still love cute stationery T^T), so I just keep things simple now. A list. Ticked off. Etc.

35 - do you trust easily? Yeah. I shouldn't, given some stupid shit that happened some years back, but I still do xD I like to believe people are good (which is strange considering I hate human interaction, but then I suppose it applies to people I form bonds with, like you!)

HAVE I EXPOSED MYSELF ENOUGH YET??? AM I STILL GOOD TO MARRY???

#ask #cloud-senpai #ask game

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minjv · 9 months ago

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right place, wrong person first listen thoughts 🌟

i don't have any expectations going into it bc I know nothing about rm/bts and their discography <3

right people, wrong place: i love album intros smmmm

nuts: initial impression: sooo not for me. and by the end i was like okayyy this is a vibe. // huge fan of the bass line. loooove the bridge and ending of this song. think this will be an insane grower for me if i already appreciate is sm more on second listen... maybe. the most interesting song in the album?

out of love: huge fan of how these songs transition into each other. // so certain im missing the context to really Get the lyrics but like... i can infer.

domodachi: i like the bass + background instrumental a lot. the vibe of the song is cool // it's just soooo cool. i love the chorus it brings a nice creepiness into the song that contrast with the movement of the verses. the ft her voice is beautiful. the constant switching in the song makes it go by so fast in a chaotic but not stressful way

? (interlude): cute interlude. it makes sense with the previous four tracks but still feels like building toward something new for the second half of the album (we'll see where it goes). i like the high flute in the background giving contrast // listening with lyrics it definitely fits so well as the interlude

groin: idk honestly // long intro with a different vibe from the song.. idk like obv this song isnt my thing but talk your shit babe. it suits the album well it's def a solid addition to it and adds way more color to it so that's a win 🌟

heaven: I like the production of this.. the instrumental is so great. it feels cinematic + paints such a clear picture of the emotion + experience of the song. the more it goes on the more i like it. contender for fav + one i'll playlist //

LOST!: she's fun ^^ // watched the mv she's sooo fun

around the world in a day: loove how lowkey this is without being boring. ohhh the switch up... it works ssmmmm love a good guitar. new contender for fav for sure // moses sumney's vocals add sooo much depth and a fun texture to this song. this + lost are sister songs...

ㅠㅠ (credits roll): i love it // like how he's so on the beat. the staccato feel makes it sound a bit sarcastic and blunt

come back to me: this song is sooo long for any song but especially compared to the other tracks. song lengths are all over the place here that's super fun. i like how lowkey and sad it is... excited to see if it goes somewhere else or keeps this vibe. i like the chorus a lot it's a nice vibe. v "lying on the floor on a summer evening reflecting on things and coming to terms with your life" // fantastic as an album close liiiiiiiiike perfect

overall:

song lengths are all over the place here that's super fun. every song feels like it's exactly as long as it should be.

the album feels like a cohesive project. all the songs needs each other + build well. the tracklisting is perfect fr, i couldnt imagine it being in any other order. it's such a "listen to the whole album" song which is great. it'll be so fun to put on and just lie down or take a walk and experience it. the interlude placement is interesting bc (to mee) it feels like the album is divided into pre-groin and post-groin. that’s a v defining song on the album like everything before builds up to it and then everything after builds on a different but related thought

nuts into out of love is soooo great. loooove how they transition seamlessly. and then the abrupt ending and move into domodachi which is so extremely different from the previous two but then it’s in the same vein as the other two… they are each branches of the same stem. i think nuts -> domodachi is my favorite part of the album rn

i was really nervous i wouldn't vibe with it going in but i really do enjoy it. it's something different from everything i usually listen to which is great, bc it's another option for when i don't want to listen to anything. it's something to absorb as well as listen to which i love bc sometimes i hate listening to music so i think this is something i'll be able to play still when im in those moods 🫡

#+thoughts #okay it’s like first second third listens actually #first // second #and then any additional third listen thoughts are included in the overall notes #tldr: super fun experience would def recommend #even if you don’t personally like it it’ll still be a cool + fun experience ^^#i think this will get a lot of plays throughout the summer #+bts

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ailtrahq · 1 year ago

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On Sept. 19, Decrypt, a media outlet, shared a report about Binance’s CEO Changpeng Zhao, mysterious money movements. According to the Decrypt report, unsealed documents revealed that Zhao extended a loan of $250 million to BAM Management U.S. Holdings. Subsequently, court documents indicate that $183 million of this loan was subsequently transferred to BAM Trading through the involvement of Paxos, a New York-based issuer of Binance USD. Allegedly wrong information Zhao has since taken to X to refute the allegation that accused him of obtaining a substantial $250 million loan from BAM Management, an entity that serves as the holding company for Binance.US. The amount of wrong information is just…They got the direction wrong. I loaned $250 million to BAM a while back, not the other way around. And have not taken it back. 🤷‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/encGx1u557— CZ 🔶 Binance (@cz_binance) September 20, 2023 However, in the social media update, Zhao posted a screenshot of the report and asserted that the media outlet “got the direction wrong.” As per Binance’s CEO, the financial transaction occurred in the opposite direction. In the statement provided in the same post, he clarified that he had extended a $250 million loan to BAM Management, emphasizing that he had not yet reclaimed the funds. Additionally, the Binance chief executive insinuated that the report contained a substantial amount of “inaccurate information.” Nonetheless, Zhao refrained from providing specific details regarding the precise inaccuracies found within the report. Another account of “wrong information” This development comes on the heels of a Sept. 19 report concerning a legal battle between the U.S. SEC and Binance.US, which is operated by BAM. The dispute centers around the management and safeguarding of customer assets, with both parties slated for a pivotal court hearing scheduled for Oct. 12. [embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VaB7DyVXLU[/embed] At the core of this conflict lies an entity referred to as “Ceffu,” which the SEC contends is a “newly rebranded Binance Entity” intricately involved in the custody of customer assets. However, Zhao denied these allegations, asserting, “Such claims are baseless.” In the last two days, it appears the CEO has his hands full with alleged wrong information. Source

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eazy-group · 2 years ago

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Best 10 Air Mattresses For Camping & Festivals

New Post has been published on https://eazycamping.net/best-10-air-mattresses-for-camping-festivals/

Best 10 Air Mattresses For Camping & Festivals

One of the camping world’s unsung heroes, air mattresses have made sleeping outside more comfortable than ever. Gone are the days of lugging an old mattress around in the truck bed. Modern amenities allow air mattresses to reduce down and stow away under the front seat and deploy into cushy thrones that have us making up excuses to spend the nights outside.

You can find air mattresses with battery-powered pumps and self-inflation options that take the huffing and puffing out of camping trips and convince you to spend more time out of the house. To get on the fast track towards sleeping in the fresh air, investing in the best air camping bed out there is wise.

It isn’t easy to separate the best from the rest, especially with so many contending air mattresses that make big promises. Every other sleeping pad promises to be overweight and make you feel like you’re sleeping on a cloud, but how many of them can show up night in and night out and do the dirty work? We’re looking at these essential aspects of sleeping outside and taking the guesswork out of your next piece of outdoor gear.

Every pad may seem comfortable at first inflation, but only a few great options get you through the night without some minor deflation. This mentality isn’t just important in the backcountry. There is a significant difference between any old inflatable mattress and some of the best inflatable car-camping bed options.

Today, we’ll dig through those differences and come up with our favourite air mattresses of all creeds.

Quick Answers – Come Lay On These Air Mattresses!

#1 REI Co-op Kingdom Insulated Air Bed

#2 Kelty Kush Queen Air Bed with Pump

#3 Therm-a-Rest NeoAir Xtherm Sleeping Pad

#4 REI Co-op Backpacking Bundle

#5 ALPS Mountaineering Vertex Air Bed

#6 Sea to Summit Ether Light XT Insulated Air Sleeping Pad

#7 Static V Luxe Sleeping Pad

#8 REI Co-op AirRail Plus Self-Inflating Sleeping Pad

#9 HEST Sleep System Sleeping Pad

#10 Exped Ultra 3R Duo Sleeping Pad

Choosing The Best Air Mattress & Sleeping Pad

At the end of the day, there could be six inches or less separating you from the cold, hard earth. It may seem like you’re choosing between many very similar inflatable air mattresses and pads, but minute details make a big difference in a great night’s sleep.

That said, there are actually health benefits from sleeping straight on the earth (earthing).

Here are a few questions to help put your head on the right sleeping system.

Where are you planning on sleeping?

Inflatable mattresses get smaller the further away from the nearest parking lot they are designed to be carried. If you’re shopping for an air-bed to sleep in the car a few nights a week or camping out with your mates every few weekends, there’s no need to torture yourself with a tiny, easy-to-carry sleeping pad – treat yourself to an extra bit of comfort.

Unless, of course, you’re heading into the backcountry. If you plan on logging a few miles before setting up shop, it doesn’t matter how comfortable your sleeping pad is if it’s too heavy to make it to camp. When shopping for an air mattress made for backpacking, weight should be the #1 factor.

What’s the weather going to do?

If you’re planning on sleeping outside in rain, sleet, snow, or shine, you can’t trust any old plastic lining to stay warm. Sleeping pads and mattresses use an ‘R-value’ to measure insulation. The higher the value, the warmer your air mattress!

Summer won’t require more than a value of 1 or 2, but by the time winter rolls around, you’ll want an R-value of at least 4.5.

How far will you have to carry it?

As a general rule, it’s probably best not to buy any camping air mattress you’re not comfortable lugging around a few feet. Every mattress on our list is light enough to carry about a half-mile. Beyond that, each pound in your pack really starts to add up. The sleeping pads on our list fit for long-distance trips will be vastly different from the more cushy air bed options made for car camping, festivals, or cool nights in the backyard.

Any sleeping pad will work in the car, but most air mattresses won’t work far away from it.

Ladies & Gents, It’s Time to Step Your GEAR Game Up.

REI is one of America’s biggest and most-loved outdoor gear retailers.

Now, for just $30, get a lifetime membership that entitles you to 10% OFF on most items, access to their trade-in scheme and discount rentals.

Join REI Today!

#1 REI Co-op Kingdom Insulated Air Bed

Specs

Packed Size (Inches) – 10 X 20

Weight (Lbs) – 5.75

Price ($) – 149

Who else but the REI co-op could lead the way towards a great night’s sleep outside. A proper air bed built for two, this camping mattress is perfect for couples or the whole family, as it quickly expands across a tent floor and feels like the mac-daddy of them all. While the 2.6 R-value isn’t enough to get you through the depths of winter, this cozy air bed isn’t about extreme conditions.

Instead, it’s about extreme comfort at an affordable price. This queen-sized air-bed fills your tent space with surprisingly warm and cozy comfort thanks to the extra six inches of lift. It’s comfy enough to work as an air mattress if you’ve got company over and packs down to a size perfect for car camping.

+Pros

Separate inflation and deflation valves won’t let air escape until you’re ready to pack it up

Welded seams gives an extra layer of protection against leaks

XL air mattress can work in the home as well as on the road

-Cons

Too large to use as a backpacking sleeping bag

2.6 R-value doesn’t provide much ground insulation

#2 Kelty Kush Queen Air Bed with Pump

Specs

Packed Size (Inches) – 16.5 X 12.5

Weight (Lbs) – 4.9

Price ($) – 100

Summer nights spent outside don’t require much more than this pumped-up camping mattress. The Kelty represents serious competition to the REI Co-Op kingdom’s throne by cutting off a few dollars across the bottom line. Kelty sacrificed a bit of utility to reach such an affordable price, but fair-weathered campers may hardly notice the difference.

The comfortable queen bed also sneaks in at a pound lighter than the heavy-duty kingdom air mattress to make a legitimate argument for a place in your closet. This air mattress isn’t great for much more than warm summer nights, but who wants to sleep on frozen ground anyways.

Big, comfortable, and with easy inflation thanks to the included battery inflated pump, you’ll have the diamond pattern deployed before lunchtime. The cherry on top is the double-digit price tag. These dependable two-person camping mattresses serve warm adventures well while staying affordable.

+Pros

Comes with its own battery powered pump that has the mattress inflated in a hurry

Weighs and costs significantly less than the REI kingdom mattress

150D bottom rating can survive especially serious rounds of sleeping bag tag

-Cons

This Air Bed comes with zero insulation

Integrated pillow sounds fancy but you’ll still have to pack an extra

#3 Therm-a-Rest NeoAir Xtherm Sleeping Pad

Specs

Packed Size (Inches) – 4 X 9

Weight (Lbs) – .9

Price ($) – 229

This sleeping pad may be the most well-rounded single-person sleeper in the great outdoors. The Xtherm excels in winter backpacking but provides a great night’s sleep year-round. Thermarest’s famed contoured build helps the sleeping bag stay cushy while shrinking down those extra few ounces that make the difference on ultralight packing lists.

The warmth is what stands this sleeping pad head and shoulders above the crowd, and it knows it. The Xtherm is not a cheap air mattress. It represents a serious investment into sleeping outside, and it pays off with four seasons of lightweight sleeping comfort.

Thermarest has focused solely on sleeping pads since the ‘70s and established themselves as a responsible part of a healthy and balanced sleep system. This dedicated sleeper is the result of decades spent outside.

Another similar alternative is the ThermaRest NeoAir XLite NXT.

+Pros

6.9 R-value signifies some of the best insulation in the business

You won’t find another sleeping pad as warm and lightweight

No better choice for 4 seasons in the back country

-Cons

Most expensive sleeping pad on our list

It’s a bit more warmth than most camping trips will ever require

#4 REI Co-op Backpacking Bundle

Specs

Sleeping pad Packed Size (Inches) – 5.25 X 7

Weight (Lbs) – 9.6

Price ($) – 349

Whether you realized Bonnaroo is only a few days away, got called out on a tinder bluff, or just want to cut back on a few decisions, this one-stop-shop will give you everything you need to get camping this weekend. Just don’t forget to pack water!

While the air mattress on its own isn’t game-breaking, the package might be. You can get a sleeping pad, sleeping bag, and two-person tent shipped to your doorstep in one big box. This isn’t one of those combo packs full of duds, either. Every part of this is the real deal, starting with the included REI passage 2 Tent, reinforced by the REI Stratus Insulated Air Sleeping Pad and wrapped up by the Trail Pod 30 sleeping bag.

That all adds to a 9.6-pound combination that will kickstart a love for the great outdoors.

+Pros

Everything you need to car camp this weekend

A rare all inclusive kit full of quality camping products

Can often be found on sale

-Cons

The combined kit will feel heavy after a few miles

The tent is fit for two but the kit only ships with one sleeping bag/pad

#5 ALPS Mountaineering Vertex Air Bed

Specs

Packed Size (Inches) – 7 X 15

Weight (Lbs) – 3.15

Price ($) – 134

ALPS offers up a versatile air bed with a key focus on resilience. The polyester framework and incredible weight resistance make our favourite durable and dependable air bed. It inflates fast and stays in shape overnight or all weekend. When it’s time to get back to the great indoors, the air bed compacts down into its own carrying case.

You can choose between a twin size and a queen Vertex option, both of which won’t beat any low-weight records but represent fantastic middle-class car camping options.

The camping mattress makes its case off the versatile pumping options, quick inflate, and durability. Anyone looking for a particular extreme in their sleeping pad may need to look elsewhere, but anyone wanting a sleeping pad that can do a bit of everything may find a great night’s sleep atop this inflatable camping bed.

+Pros

Fast inflation can go from zero to bedtime in 2.5 minutes

Included pump comes with a rechargeable battery

500 Lb weight limit can sleep a sumo wrestler

-Cons

Slightly large packed size for a twin air mattress

Too heavy to accompany extended trips to the backcountry

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#6 Sea to Summit Ether Light XT Insulated Air Sleeping Pad

Specs

Packed Size (Inches) – 9.5 X 4.5

Weight (Lbs) – 1

Price ($) – 179

This one-person pad is Sea to Summit’s lightest and thickest sleeping pad option. The highlights include air-sprung cells that stretch out the thick padding and create a more sleeping room without adding pounds. This cheeky thickness helps boost the R-value of this camping mattress to a 3.2, which fits the pad squarely into a three-season range.

An extra splash of width, a boost of thickness, and various sizing options help seal the deal for this versatile sleeping pad. This backpacking specialist is probably a bit cramped to take on the festival circuit, but the lightweight pad slips into its own bag and makes a great backpacking sleeping pad.

You’ll get moving quickly in the morning with the two-pronged valve. Any overnight adventure will get a bit more comfort out of the thick, 4-inch height that brings mattress spring comfort to the backcountry.

+Pros

Three different sizing options help fit in a great night’s sleep

Two different types of insulation are better than one

One of the best backpacking sleeping pads for side sleepers

-Cons

Durable rubber outer layer tends to squeak

A bit light for car camping and a touch heavy for backpacking

#7 Static V Luxe Sleeping Pad

Specs

Packed Size (Inches) – 4.5 X 8

Weight (Lbs) – 1.65

Price ($) – 99

This plush sleeping bag is bringing serious comfort down to double digits. As one of the more affordable backpacking air mattresses out there, the Kymit fills a much-needed void by helping backpackers save a few dollars without sacrificing quality.

A cheap air mattress is always a risky proposition. Checking the forecasts and sticking to summertime helps you get away with a night or two outside with a lackluster tent, but one pop can ruin the night no matter where you are. The Static V sleeping pad takes the guesswork out of saving you money and will have you spending more nights sleeping underneath the stars.

+Pros

A great first foray into backpacking sleeping pads

One of the most dependable and affordable single person camping mattresses out there

Purchase protected by a limited lifetime warranty

-Cons

One size fits all

Slightly heavy for long distance backpacking

#8 REI Co-op AirRail Plus Self-Inflating Sleeping Pad

Specs

Packed Size (Inches) – 6 X 11

Weight (Lbs) – 1.5

Price ($) – 100

Red bull’s the only thing that gives you wings, but this REI AirRail sleeping pad comes with extended edges to serve as the next best thing. The self-inflating central cushion works on its own to give you a place to sleep, but the wings on this sleeping pad make it one of the comfiest single sleeping pads on the market.

Unless you’re planning a spartan adventure deep into the woods, what’s the harm of bringing a few extra ounces? The AirRail sides keep you locked into place all night long and bring together the comfort of this XL sleeping pad. Just a few inches on either side will provide all sorts of sleepers with the comforts of home while on the road.

These extra sides also add a splash of insulation that elevates the sleeping pad into a four-season conversation. An R-value of 4.2 keeps you warm even through chilly mountaintop nights.

+Pros

Wide edges and narrow bottoms stretch out the sleeping pad without feeling unwieldy

Not the highest R-value on our list but still suitable for winter camping

Three separate size options help all sorts of sleepers

-Cons

A bit too heavy for long mileage

The self-inflating only goes as far as the central cushion – you’ll have to inflate the air rail sides on your own

#9 HEST Sleep System Sleeping Pad

Specs

Packed Size (Inches) – 14 X 25

Weight (Lbs) – 26

Price ($) – 449

This sleep system might just be more comfortable than your mattress at home. The most expensive inflatable mattress on our list earns its heavy payday by bringing all sorts of home comforts on the road. Two layers of memory foam help you sink into a good night’s sleep no matter where you are, while a durable waterproof bottom layer protects you from the ground up.

All this extra cushion coalesces with an 11.1 R-value that brings insulation far beyond the capabilities of most camping pads. While the system can roll and fold to take up less space, This sleeping pad is too much for trips far away from the car.

With the right sleeping system, any car, tent, or flat ground will feel just like home. A few places are truly worth spending a few extra dollars, and your sleep absolutely qualifies. Anyone looking for a full-time inflatable camping bed deserves to reap the benefit of this comfortable sleeping pad.

+Pros

Large enough for two people and their pup

Brings memory foam to the great outdoors

Mattress provides two separate slabs of foam for comfortable sleeping on both sides

-Cons

Too heavy to take more than a few feet from the car

Might cost more than your tent

The best present of all… is CONVENIENCE!

Now, you could spend a fat chunk of $$$ on the WRONG present for someone. Wrong size hiking boots, wrong fit backpack, wrong shape sleeping bag… As any adventurer will tell you, gear is a personal choice.

So give the adventurer in your life the gift of convenience: buy them an REI Co-op gift card! REI is The Broke Backpacker’s retailer of choice for ALL things outdoors, and an REI gift card is the perfect present you can buy from them. And then you won’t have to keep the receipt.

Buy on REI!

#10 Exped Ultra 3R Duo Sleeping Pad

Specs

Packed Size (Inches) – 10 X 5

Weight (Lbs) – 1

Price ($) – 149

The specs on this compact sleeping pad would be incredible enough for a one-person sleeping pad, but this is a bonafide bed built for two. The duo designation makes it the lightest and most compact two-person camping mattress on our list and one of backpacking best-kept secrets.

The Exped stays light enough to work as an ultra roomy one-person sleeping pad or a rare two-person pad that’s still suitable for backpacking. Each sleeper will reap the support of separate vertical baffles that help lower the risk of waking up your partner on the way to the bathroom.

This simple sleeping pad brings just the essentials and plenty of space to roll around. It’s an uncomplicated, lightweight pack that fully inflates in less than five pumps with the included pump sack.

+Pros

Incredibly lightweight for a two-person camping mattress

Also works well as a roomy one-person car camping mattress

One of the fastest inflating camping mattresses out there

-Cons

2.9 R-value signifies little to no included insulation

Not an easy sleeping pad to track down

Our GREATEST Travel Secrets…

Pop your email here & get the original Broke Backpacker Bible for FREE.

Final Thoughts

We’ve looked at the best air mattresses of all shapes and sizes, from ultralight backpacking specialists to cushy car camping options. Now that you’ve seen what the best inflatable camping mattresses are capable of, all you need to do is figure out where you plan on sleeping next.

The most crucial factor to consider is how far you’re heading from the nearest parking lot, but you should also decide how many nights in a row you plan on sleeping on your inflatable mattress and what kind of weather you’ll be exploring.

As much as we’d all love to have a walk-in closet full of the latest and greatest outdoor gear, we are still broke backpackers at the end of the day. You’ll have to put your needs against your budget and see who comes out on top.

No one sleeping pad is perfect for every camping style, so there’s nothing wrong with having an option or two at your disposal.

As long as you’re picking from the air mattresses on our list, you’ll be well on your way to a good night’s sleep in the great outdoors.

lot, but you should also decide how many nights in a row you plan on sleeping on your inflatable mattress and what kind of weather you’ll be exploring.

And for transparency’s sake, please know that some of the links in our content are affiliate links. That means that if you book your accommodation, buy your gear, or sort your insurance through our link, we earn a small commission (at no extra cost to you). That said, we only link to the gear we trust and never recommend services we don’t believe are up to scratch. Again, thank you!

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cruger2984 · 2 years ago

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THE DESCRIPTION OF SAINT NORBERT OF XANTEN The Patron of Bohemia, the Archdiocese of Magdeburg and Against Birth Complications Feast Day: June 6

"O Priest! You are not of yourself because you are of God. You are not of yourself because you are the servant and minister of Christ. You are not your own because you are the spouse of the Church. You are not yourself because you are the mediator between God and man. You are not from yourself because you are nothing. What then are you? Nothing and everything. O Priest! Take care, lest what was said to Christ on the cross be said to you: 'He saved others, himself he cannot save!'"

On June 6 the Catholic Church honors Saint Norbert of Xanten – who started out as a frivolous and worldly cleric, but was changed by God’s grace into a powerful preacher and an important reformer of the Church during the early 12th century. He is the founder of the Norbertine order.

Born around the year 1075 in the German town of Xanten, Norbert belonged to a high-ranking family with ties to the imperial court. As a young man he showed a high degree of intelligence and sophistication – which marked him out as a contender for offices within the Church, the state, or both. None of this, however, was any guarantee of a holy life. On the contrary, Norbert's gifts and advantages would prove to be a source of temptation even after he joined the ranks of the clergy.

Norbert was ordained as a subdeacon, and enrolled with a group of clerics in his town, before moving on to an appointment with the powerful Archbishop of Cologne. He went on to serve the German Emperor Henry V, in a position which involved the distribution of aid to the poor. In all of this, however, Norbert displayed no particular piety or personal seriousness, living a rather pleasurable and luxurious life.

Change would come from a brush with death, in approximately 1112: while riding on horseback near Xanten, he was caught in a storm and nearly killed by a lightning bolt. The frightened horse threw Norbert off, and he lay unconscious for some time. Sobered by the experience, he left his imperial post and began a period of prayer and discernment in a monastery. At age 35, he heard God calling him to the priesthood.

Radically converted to the ideals of the Gospel, Norbert was now set against the worldly attitude he had once embodied. This made him unpopular with local clerics, who responded with insults and condemnation. But Norbert was not turning back. He gave all of his wealth to the poor, reducing himself to a barefoot and begging pilgrim who possessed nothing except the means to celebrate Mass.

Pope Gelasius II gave Norbert permission to live as an itinerant preacher, and he was asked to found a religious order so that others might live after his example. He settled in the northern French region of Aisne, along with a small group of disciples who were to live according to the Rule of St. Augustine. On December 25, 1121, they were established as the Canons Regular of Premontre, also known as the Premonstratensians or Norbertines.

Their founder also established a women’s branch of the order, before returning to Germany for a successful preaching tour. He founded a lay branch of the Premonstratensians (the Third Order of St. Norbert), and went on to Belgium, where he preached against a sect that denied the power of the sacraments. His order was invited into many Northern European dioceses, and there was talk of making Norbert a bishop.

Though he avoided an earlier attempt to make him the Bishop of Wurzburg, Norbert was eventually chosen to become the Archbishop of Magdeburg in Germany. The archdiocese was in serious moral and financial trouble, and the new archbishop worked hard to reform it. His efforts were partly successful, but not universally accepted: Norbert was the target of three failed assassination attempts, made by opponents of his reforms.

When a dispute arose over the papal succession in 1130, Norbert traveled to Rome to support the legitimate Pope Innocent II. Afterward he returned to Germany and became a close adviser to its Emperor Lothar. In a sense, his life seems to have come full-circle: the first hints of his conversion had come on a trip to Rome two decades earlier, when he accompanied a previous emperor. This time, however, Norbert was seeking God’s will, not his own advancement.

With his health failing, Norbert was brought back to Magdeburg. He died there on June 6, 1134. Pope Gregory XIII canonized St. Norbert in 1582.

Source: Catholic News Agency

#random stuff #catholic #catholic saints #norbert of xanten #norbertines

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liaromancewriter · 2 years ago

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The Unexpected Valentine

Premise: The interns celebrate their first Valentine’s Day in Boston, and it’s full of surprises.

Book: Open Heart Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Cassie Valentine (F!MC); feat. Sienna Trinh, Bryce Lahela, Jackie Varma, Elijah Greene Rating/Category: General. Fluff. Words: 1,790

A/N: Submission for @choicesficwriterscreations Valentine's Day event; for @choicesmonthlychallenge Valentine's Day platonic prompt - candy hearts; @choices-february2023 Day 14 "Valentine's Day".

The nurses’ stations on almost every floor were festooned in pink and white paper hearts. Some diehard romantics wore red heart pins on their scrubs, while others smiled more than usual, humming jaunty tunes as they did their work.

Valentine’s Day wasn’t until the end of the week, but that didn’t stop people from getting into the spirit early. Nurse Sarah was responsible for this year’s resident Secret Valentine Exchange and was determined to make it the best one yet.

All she needed was to track down one stubborn intern that had managed to avoid detection. But Sarah was on a mission, and nothing and no one would get in her way.

Cassie Valentine wasn’t thinking of anything but her latest patient. She was working with a new attending, one who seemed to disappear whenever she needed guidance. She was a February intern and could fly solo easily for less complicated cases. This case was anything but usual.

She missed working with Dr. Ramsey, even if the man was more likely to ask questions than provide answers. But at least his questions pushed her to think out of the box. Not go round and round in circles.

Lost in thought, she didn’t notice someone chasing her or calling her name until a hand fell on her shoulder. Startled, she turned her head to see Nurse Sarah breathing heavily and clutching her waist as if she had a stitch on the side.

“Wow, you’re a really fast walker,” Sarah huffed. “I chased you down two hallways, and you’re not even winded.”

Cassie knew she’d been practically running, as she often did when thinking, and felt sorry for the other woman.

“I’m sorry, Sarah. I was lost in thought,” Cassie said sincerely. “How can I help?”

Sarah held out a post-it note and pen. “You haven’t entered your name in the Secret Valentine Exchange. Today is the last day. We’ll pick names at the end of shift.”

“Yeah, I don’t do V-Day,” Cassie said, not even bothering to hide her disdain for the holiday, which wasn’t really a holiday but a marketing gimmick.

“But your last name is Valentine,” Sarah sputtered.

Cassie just knew this would come up. She loved romance, but all her life, she had to contend with people making fun as soon as February started because of the peculiarity of her last name.

She lifted her chin mulishly. “Your point is…?”

“It’s practically your day,” Sarah said in a tone that implied it should be obvious. And then she waved her hand dismissively. “Anyway, everyone else is signed up, and the numbers will be uneven if you don’t. So, it’s required.”

Cassie wanted to argue and stick to her principles, but Sarah’s determined expression told her there was no point. That didn’t mean she would take it lying down. She took the post-it and pen, scribbled a name, and handed Sarah the folded paper.

Smugly satisfied, Sarah thanked her and returned to her station.

“What was that about?”

Thinking she was alone, Cassie practically jumped at the masculine voice behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see Ethan standing in the patient room doorway.

Her heart skipped a beat as it often did in his presence, and her green eyes filled with longing before she schooled her features into a neutral expression.

“Stupid Valentine’s Day,” she muttered under her breath.

He must have had bat ears because he heard her clearly. The quick, amused grin that flashed across his face was disarming, as was the warmth in his blue eyes. Despite her best intentions to keep things professional, she was charmed and wished he would smile more.

“Not a fan?” he drawled, leaning against the wall and folding his arms across his chest. “I have to say, I’m surprised.”

“Join the club.” She rolled her eyes.

The shrill sound of a pager—his—cut the moment short. She thought he looked grim as he read the message and wondered if it was about Naveen.

Before she could ask him about it, he dropped the pager in his coat pocket, gave her a brief nod, and walked away without another word.

A few days later, Cassie walked into Edenbrook for her shift with Sienna bubbling in excitement beside her, a baker’s box full of heart-shaped cookies clutched in her hands. Her friend had been like this for several days, eager for Valentine’s Day and a romantic dinner with her idiot of a boyfriend.

Of course, Sienna didn’t think Wayne was an idiot despite evidence to the contrary. It took all of Cassie’s self-control not to shake her and make her see Wayne for the supercilious loser he was. But that’s not what friends did.

If Sienna was happy with Wayne, Cassie had no right to interfere or make her feel bad about it. Not like Jackie often did, which inevitably led to Sienna retreating to her room on the pretense of studying.

She would be supportive and pleasant, even if it killed her. Besides, Wayne would show his true colors eventually. Cassie had met enough people like that to know it was only a matter of time.

“He still hasn’t told me where we’re going,” Sienna said as they swiped in and walked into the near-empty locker room. “But I dropped enough hints about this French bistro I want to try. So, fingers crossed!”

Cassie flushed when she realized Sienna was looking expectantly at her, and she hadn’t heard a word Sienna said until now. “I’m sure it will be lovely.”

Wanting to make amends for her inattentiveness, she gave Sienna a one-armed hug. “I’ll make sure you get out of here on time. Tell you what. If you want to leave early to get ready, just page me, and I’ll cover your patients.”

“Thanks, Cassie,” Sienna said, smiling widely. “I might take you up on that.”

They both turned away to change into scrubs. Cassie unfastened her bag and saw the square-shaped red jewelry box for the Secret Valentine Exchange. She’d been ecstatic to get Sienna’s name in the draw and had known exactly what to buy her bestie.

Now it was just a matter of getting Sienna out of the way so she could hide it in her locker for later.

“I’m going to find Danny and Raf before shift starts, give them their cookies,” Sienna told her, slamming the locker door shut. “See you at morning sign-out?”

“You bet.”

Cassie waited for a beat in case Sienna came back. Judging the coast to be clear, she took out the jewelry box, tucked a Secret Valentine note into the seam, and placed it on the shelf next to Sienna’s tote so she wouldn’t miss it.

“I thought I got Sienna in the Secret Valentine Exchange,” a male voice said behind her.

Caught unawares for the second time in so many days, Cassie jumped and spun on her heels to face Bryce. He was leaning against one of the lockers, a small bouquet of pink roses in his hands, brows furrowed in confusion.

Before Cassie could respond, Jackie walked into view with Elijah following, each holding a present.

“What’s up, meathead?” Jackie asked, brushing past Bryce to set the gift bag on the bench.

She cocked her head when she saw Cassie standing in front of Sienna’s open locker and the red jewelry box.

“Wait a minute,” she started, looking first at Cassie, then Bryce and the flowers he was holding. “Are those Sienna’s Secret Valentine presents? Because I got her name in the draw.”

“That’s interesting,” Elijah said, joining the three of them in front of Sienna’s locker. “I got her name too.”

The four friends stared at each other perplexed, and then Cassie burst into laughter as she put two and two together.

“You all know I don’t believe in V-Day,” she said, swallowing back giggles. “So when Nurse Sarah cornered me, I put Sienna’s name in the draw instead of mine.”

Bryce chuckled. “I did the same but for different reasons. Sienna really gets into all the holiday stuff. I didn’t want to take the chance she’d get a dud.”

Cassie threw Jackie a challenging look. “How much of a coincidence is it you entered Sienna’s name too?”

Jackie rolled her eyes, but her grin gave her away. “I felt bad riding her about Wayne last week. Figured if she got two presents, it might make up for him canceling on her tonight.”

She twisted her lips in derision. “Let’s face it. The jerk has a track record of canceling on her at the last minute. At least now she can drown her sorrows in Belgian chocolate.” She lightly shook the bag.

Elijah slowly raised his hand. “So, I might have entered Sienna’s name too. She does so much to cheer everyone up. Like Bryce, I didn’t want to chance it she’d get dissed by someone with crappy tastes. By the way, I asked Landry to write her name too. I calculated the odds based on the number of entries and figured one of us had a strong shot of drawing her name.”

Elijah finished confessing and lifted the gift bag off his lap. “I got her candy hearts and a funny card.”

Bryce whistled softly. “Sienna definitely hit the Valentine’s Day jackpot today.”

And then they all laughed as they gathered around her locker, trying to stuff their presents inside. Their friend was about to get the surprise of her life.

They were arguing about how to organize everything when Sienna rushed into the locker room, muttering under her breath.

She stopped abruptly at seeing her friends assembled around her open locker. Her eyes widened in surprise at the gift bags and flowers, their distinct floral scent filling the air.

Before she could ask what was going on, Cassie, Bryce, Elijah and Jackie descended upon her and dumped their presents in her hands.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Si!”

It was the end of shift, and the hospital was buzzing as it often did during the changeover. Nurse Sarah rubbed the back of her neck and rolled her shoulders to get the kinks out. She absently wondered what the residents had gotten each other for the Secret Valentine Exchange.

She’d meant to follow up, but her day had been busier than usual. Now she was tired and looking forward to celebratory drinks with her friends. It was too bad she didn’t have a man this Valentine’s Day to shower her with presents.

She was almost at the exit when she spied Dr. Trinh walking ahead, laughing with her usual group of friends. Sarah took in the brightly wrapped presents and bouquet of roses in the young doctor’s arms and thought, Lucky Lady.

-------------------

All Fics & Edits: @a-crepusculo @annfg8 @bluebelle08 @coffeeheartaddict2 @crazy-loca-blog @doriopenheart @genevievemd @headoverheelsforramsey @lucy-268 @jamespotterthefirst @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @mainstreetreader @takemyopenheart @potionsprefect @queencarb @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @socalwriterbee @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

#open heart #ethan ramsey #choices open heart #open heart fanfics #playchoices #choices fanfics #open heart fanfiction #sienna trinh #bryce lahela #oph gang #writers on tumblr #choices fic writers creations #choicesfebruary2023 #cfwc valentine 2023 #ethan ramsey x cassie valentine

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roobylavender · 2 years ago

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hi, fellow selina fan here!!! i don't disagree with you in that i don't think selina should ever be permanently restricted to… well, honestly, just about anywhere. to fully disclose my bias here, my favourite daydream with her is currently post "little bird" selina deciding to start robbing museums to build her street rep (more lucrative oppurtunities) and returning them to either the people or countries they were stolen from, but also taking something from the museum she was returning that lacked non-capitalistic value.

but, i also think the idea of her having her "own little corner of gotham", to some people at least, is more so representative of the idea of community loyalty than it is of anything akin to city-level patriotism if that makes any sense. like personally, i tend to interpret things like that as more of a soft spot than territorial boundary-making. like, to me anyways, the general idea sort of has the same appeal as selina's compassion for fellow swers or poor youth moreso than anything similar to how bruce "has" gotham, or dick "has" bludhaven, & so on a & so forth.

mind you, i also think the whole idea of assigning these characters "territories" (i.e. things outside of community-based work or generally frequented areas) is sorta suspect in general, as it's a very proprietary train of thought & therefore sort of capitalist in nature. i just also see the appeal of examining selina's compassion through the idea of her having some allegiance to the people of the streets that bred her so to speak. i also want to clarify that agree with you in that the way fandom plays with this idea and it's canon is... unlikeable at best. i think that, if examining selina from this lens, her tie must be based in an allegiance born in the shared circumstances of the people of her community (and therefore something she should be shown to extend to others in similar circumstances outside of that) rather than any land boundary, or a more base-level idea of "home". and it shouldn't be "her setting" in the way gotham is for bruce, it should have specifc narrative relevancy if she's there, rather than placing her there for ease of writing.

sorry if this is bothersome, and for the length. i really enjoy your takes, particularly on the women of comic mythos, and you are a refreshing fandom presence in general, let alone just dc. i hope your day is a joy,

please omg you are not a bother at all! i love it when i get asks like this that are so thoughtful they really do make my day ❤️

i totally agree though! esp when you say "it should have specific narrative relevancy if she's there, rather than placing her there for the ease of writing" like that sums up so well what some of the issues are with writing her in the past decade or so. her connection is always going to be to community first so it makes sense to connect her to the people wherever she is and then work from there, and i think writers get stuck in trying to frame the city first before they frame the actual conflict or people involved. they get her involved in these big city wide schemes but what i miss are the smaller niche stories she got in the 90s or even in some of brubaker's earliest issues. that idea of her being hyper aware of the spaces bruce wasn't hyper aware of bc he had bigger foes to contend with was really good (even if i did have some issues with the way brubaker framed it to look like bruce didn't care in comparison). bc it's not necessarily gotham or the east end that's special. it's the people she meets who have struggled in ways similar to her and you're always going to find the strongest connections and narrative poignancy when you keep that in mind. i think ram v was trying to go there with his short run esp what with having holly and maggie re-involved but it's a shame we had to see that cut short :/

#outbox #i think tangentially her issues also have to do with the modern disdain for civilian centered stories #there's so much focus on fanfare and connecting to universal events that you don't really get to write small stories anymore #like could something like the sorrow street story in showcase 93 be published anymore? i doubt it #and it's tragic bc those are exactly the kind of stories where selina shines. she doesn't need the fanfare #her strengths as a character are always in the fact that she helps people we wouldn't normally think of #and when she does it's in contrast to her conquests as a thief. the spotlight is for when she's a rebel #but the shadows are for when she's a saint

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jangofctts · 4 years ago

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Mirrored Heart (captain rex x fem!reader)

rated: 18+ explicit

word count: 5.6k

warnings: smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampies, fingering, blow jobs, clone space racism?

a/n: ANYWAY HERE IT IS. ive had this draft saved since like a year ago and just now finished it. anyway kwjrkejh here YALL GO. also thank you @jango-fettish FOR LETTING ME BORROW SYRENA

It's curious.

Well, you, as a whole are curious—completely outside the realm of what Rex considers normal. As far as senators go, that is.

You're grumpy for one—worse than Skywalker and far more snide than Kenobi—a near gargantuan task bordering impossible. Wit and cleverness come to you easier than breathing, but it's your unwavering kindness towards himself and his brothers that sticks out like a blaster burn against alabaster white walls.

He passed it off as a joke—some sort of mockery. Rex’s existence has been full of them. The past year it’s been made glaringly clear as to what the clones are to the people of the republic—tools. Mindless war machines dressed with flesh and bone, heart and sinew instead of durasteel and a circuitboard. Humanity has been skimmed over with excuses and debates over the hollow argument that clones were created for the sole purpose of war—nothing more. Ignorance is bliss when you are not the one fighting tooth and nail for petty skirmishes and the survival of your family.

Ithyea, your home monarchal planet, is a newer member of the Galatic Republic—one of the firsts to advocate for clone rights—cutting through each argument with the steel headed javelin of hope and determination. Controversial in the eyes of the galaxy but no less than true. Yet with controversy, comes chaos.

Wedged between Takodana and the Cerean Reach hyperspace lane—it’s an essential key to accessing more neutral space sectors without stepping on any toes. While the planet does mirror the size of a larger than average moon, there’s nothing but grandeur with the cutting edge advances in space travel and military innovations. An arts district too, one that’s presented multiple times for the Senate apparently. Rex has yet to see it. It’s an easy guess as to why Ithyea has gone under pointed attacks from the Separatists—it’d be foolish not to try.

And of course comes the intergalactic mess of politics. You are not Ithyea’s first senator. Or second…or third. Just in the last six months, three of your predecessors have been picked off—two disappearances and a suspicious poisoning sandwiched between them. Which sides these assassinations stem from is anybody’s guess—a mix of both perhaps—all to silence and stamp the voice of your people out.

Heavy are the shoulders that wear those abhorrent senatorial robes, and Maker did it take some convincing for another Ithyean to step to the chopping block. It’s just…no one thought it’d be you. The infamous captain of King Arrian Felian’s elite guard—trained in combat levels high enough to contend some of those within the ranks of the Jedi Order. When your name comes up in conversation, it certainly doesn’t scream diplomacy.

Rex is not surprised that you hold the current record of Ithyean senators for surviving the longest. Evading an astonishing two attempts on your life by the skin of your teeth. You were just downright lucky the third assassin missed their mark. Sure, the blade of Syrena Aster skimmed the right side of your cheek and left behind a nasty scar to remember her by, but kriff—even with your background and low levels of public presence, you’re a high priced target. Whoever placed an order with the Heretics, really wants to see you six feet under.

Rex hasn’t been given the full report on exactly who the Heretics are—a rag tag bunch of untrained Force users and skilled assassins from what he’s gathered—but regardless, this attack is just the beginning. Until the Senate and the Jedi are able to retract the price on your head, you’re stuck under protective custody. Usually ushered away into the Jedi Temple or tagging along with General Kenobi and Skywalker. Despondently, no matter the circumstances of your protection, it can’t shield you from the dreadful invitations to senatorial luncheons.

And yes, you tried to slip by for this one.

You don't brush elbows with other senator’s like many of the members in the Jedi Order and your own cohort do. In fact, you actively avoid even speaking to them unless necessary, let alone stand in the same room with seven of them. Odd for an elected official of diplomacy such as yourself to be so cold shouldered—Rex would think senators wanted to mingle.

It's curious because you're standing in plain sight and yet no one pays you any passing thought. General Kenobi and Skywalker hold the majority of their attentions, shoulders already taught with exasperation at keeping everyone from tearing out each other's throats for, kriffing five minutes. Yet you...you are completely at ease, leaning up against a stone pillar, observing the unfolding chaos from afar with a keen eye.

Before Rex realizes he's stepping towards your position, you glance over and dip your chin in greeting. The ghost of a smirk pulls at your normally grim facade—his heart skips. "Captain."

"Senator," he mimics, posting himself to your right. There’s still a thin, healing scab from the assassin’s blade that extends from the swell of your cheek to your ear. Ouch. “Enjoying the evening?"

You snort. "Hardly enjoying it, Rex."

Stars—you shouldn't be allowed to say his name. Your words are razor-sharp like a jagged vibroblade, meant to jab and pierce through armor—tear a person to pieces without having to lift a finger. Everything about you is rough, gritty, brutal, unbecoming of what a senator should be, but—

You mouth his name, purring out the singular syllable with such tenderness that it's like a punch to the gut.

It's hard to swallow and he needs to clear his throat—an embarrassing act on his part, but your attention has already returned back towards the meandering senators. "How d'you mean?"

"Well," you sigh, "let's just say smalltalk isn’t my strong suit."

"Aren't you senators s'pposed to like diplomacy n' such?"

Your thumb smoothes over your bottom lip in thought as you shrug. "Diplomacy? Sure. Politicians? Can’t say I like them. I just—"

You wave your hand around, gesturing vaguely to the crowd. "I just don't understand why they can't say what they mean. Telling someone to have a nice day shouldn't entail certain death, y'know?"

"Speaking from experience?" He teases, gently prying into that harder than beskar wall you've created for yourself. There's fissions in your foundation and he means to tear it down all for just a mere scrap of information.

Your eyes flick over, your lips curling into a vulpine grin. “Perhaps...Though, it was partially my fault, I have to admit.”

“You’ll have to tell me the story sometime, Senator.”

You nod. “Yes, one day—when there aren’t so many political ears jumping at the chance of gossip.”

A swell of laughter interrupts your chat, your attention gravitating to Obi-Wan—ever the charmer with the crowds. The end of your mouth pulls into a frown as you sigh and carefully scratch at your brow with the back of your thumb. Rex might be pulling at straws, but what he mistook as you being standoffish may just be your nerves. Socially awkward and flustered when speaking in such an intimate setting.

Rex’s first instinct is to reach out and place a hand over your shoulder in comfort, but he’s not sure how you’ll respond to the touch. Flip him over your shoulder probably—

Instead he forces himself to jumpstart the conversation—something to distract from your anxieties. “I hope you don’t mind me asking—“ His heart beat kicks up into a flurry of wild beats as you turn you head. “What uh..wh—did you want to become a senator?”

He likes it when you smile—like you’re letting him on some sort of coy secret. You shift your weight and shrug. “The king asked me personally. I’m flattered he thinks I’m clever enough—insulted he sends me to these abysmal gatherings like some sort of show pony.”

Rex chuckles. “Yeah, can’t say I like ‘em either.”

“Although…” Your thumb runs over your lip again, a sparkle of mischief igniting behind your eyes. “As a senator, I do get the occasional tidbit of gossip. Here, I’ll catch you up—“

The captain startles when you snatch his elbow and yank him closer. Maker he’s glad for his helmet because your lips brush against his earpiece as he leans down to reach your height.

“Look." You whisper, nodding casually in the direction of a particularly young senator with a shock of white hair. She's swathed in a pool of royal blue silk, much too large for her tiny frame, and all but hanging off Skywalker's arm with glittered nails filed into points. "That is Senator Ceci Paare of Corellia. She looks innocent, no?"

She does. Wide, crystalline green eyes stare up at the Jedi Knight as a pretty giggle escapes past her ruby painted lips. Skywalker grimaces.

"I quite like her," you continue with a sly grin. "Even if she does try to influence public opinion by an invitation to bed."

There's no time to process as you focus in on an older man. His hazy blue skin, ash white lips and vermillion green eyes cut an almost nightmarish profile, accentuated by mountains of black robes. Rex can’t recall what planet the senator represents. The senator holds his head stiffer than rebar to keep the ornate golden circlet from slipping off, his white lips curling in distaste as Orn Free Taa of Ryloth places a meaty hand over his slender shoulder.

"He is Lord Tal’en Sol Ra'ah. Cunning, but sympathetic to the pleasures of gambling."

It's a game to you—of perceptions and nuances only a trained eye can roll over. Rex expects nothing less. This sort of thing has been hammered into the very essence of your being since you were little—reading an enemy before they can strike. It works on politicians marvelously well.

Truth be told Rex should be paying more attention—but the closeness of your face to his helmet is maddening. His heart twists and coils as your bare hand skims along his gloved one—kriff. He’s not gonna make it before he bursts into a thousand little pieces.

Rex’s spell of lovesick yearning recedes as you swear under your breath. It was only a matter of time before someone approached your little corner.

"Oh, Maker save me," you hiss under your breath as a young Mirialan saunters over, the swatches of rich red and brilliant gold accentuate his violet skin like a bloody bruise. "Pretend you're speaking with me."

"I am speaking with you," Rex snorts.

Your hand waves in dismissal as your brows stitch together, hands balling into fists. Your jaw clenches as the senator in question puts on a dazzling smile. You look downright panicked. Rex has witnessed you face down numerous senators older than dirt and close to blowing away in the wind with plucky fervor, assassination attempts, being held captive, and you're frightened…by this?

This is too good.

Rex has half a mind to help you, wheel you away from your little predicament, but his intrigue with seeing your oh-so-solid resolve crumble is much too valuable and entertaining to pass up. He's going to remember this for years.

"Rex."

"Senator," he mimics, not at all frightened by your poisonous glare. "Some diplomacy might do you good."

You begin to snarl out a threat but are decidedly cut off by your object of horror planting himself before your hiding spot. You cower into the corner like a boxed in loth-cat. "Ah, my favorite Ithyean! I had begun to worry you would not make it, my dear friend."

"Senator Lin," you sigh. The smile you offer is tight and thin; a nervous one much in the same way one would be if presented with a box of toenails for a birthday gift. “How pleasant to see you."

Senator Lin’s deep violet lips part with an easy smile. He waves a hand in dismissal, his silver rings glinting in the warm lighting. "Please—call me Toluka. No need to bother with such formalities between companions."

Rex suddenly understands your trepidation with the Mirialan—he’s slimy. And, not to mention, not at all ashamed with the lecherous looks as his eyes sweep down your body. Rex clenches his teeth and folds his arms behind his back. He’s regretting not heeding your warning now…

Try as you might through brutal small talk and chilly answers, Senator Lin refuses to take the hint. A dark plume of venom green lashes through Rex’s chest as the Mirialan places a friendly hand over your shoulder. You grimace as Rex bristles and glares through the visor of his helmet.

Senator Lin’s lips pull into a gaudy smile as he glances at Rex and then at you.“My dear, don’t you know? It’s not worth wasting your time with a clone. After all, they’re all the same person. How boorish—come join us at the table.”

Your teeth bite into your cheek as your temper, like the silver of blade through the darkness, cuts through your steely irises. With poised nonchalance, you lift your hand and pinch Senator’s Lin’s fingers between your own and pry them off your shoulder. “Is that so?”

“Your campaign, valuable as it may be,” Lin continues, “is a useless endeavor. They are not our equals and never will be--you must know that."

Rex forces himself to remain calm—collected and certainly not imaging a thousand and one ways he’d like to see his fist breaking the fragile bones of the senator’s face.

"Fine buttons stitched upon your shoulders do not compel your worth, Senator,” the harshness of your words is a blow straight to Lin’s ego. His well-groomed brows furrow drastically as his tongue struggles to play catch up and find words to repair his shattered pride.

There’s no chance for Senator Lin to regain his footing as your snatch Rex’s wrist and sweep him out into the hall. Rex can feel your anger roll off of you in waves, frighting and holding the same caliber of roaring waves thundering against black, craggy rocks. It’s a miracle the night didn’t end with your hands wrapped around the senator’s throat or a blaster shot through the chest.

When you reach the lower halls of the cruise ship is when you release Rex’s wrist. You pinch the bridge of your nose between your fingers and release a long, dramatic sigh.

"You are worth far more than that pompous ass," you say with enough edge to slice through a droideka's shields. "He has no right to say those things to you."

“It’s alright,” Rex soothes, placing a hand over your bristling shoulder. “I’ve heard worse.”

Your features scrunch up into a wince. “That...that doesn’t mean you have to suffer through more of it, Rex.”

Sighing, you run a hand through your hair and loosen the heavy outer robes strung around your shoulders. You shrug out of them and fold the thick swaths of fabric over you arm—revealing the under layers of your uniform. You toss the bundle of fabric to the floor with a disgusted grimace and sit on the cargo crate closest to your left.

“Really—it’s ok.” Rex assures again. “I—“

You hold up a hand and shake your head. His mouth snaps shut. “I won’t hear it. To me you are nothing short of perfect and I refuse to argue about it. Maker knows I already do that for a kriffing living.”

There’s a fragile lull in the hollow space—the distant chatter of voices and strange music collecting in the corners. You stand once again, toe to toe with the Captain and there it is again, that elated pitter patter of his heart thrumming through his veins. The nerves of being so close to you—you sweet face and not being able to touch you.

“Let me see your face.”

His hands come up to the edges of his helmet without hesitation, a hiss of hair escaping the seal once he pries it off. You smile and take a step closer until the only thing separating you and him is his helmet.

Rex’s eyes flutter shut, leaning into your hand you gingerly place over his jaw. “I wish the entire galaxy could see you through my eyes,” you whisper, the warmth of your soft palm radiating out and warming his entire body.

It’s a matchstick to kerosene—his helmet clatters to the ground and there’s only a second to spare as both hands move to cup his cheeks, dragging him into a mouthwatering kiss.

He hasn’t kissed many people—save for those rare times at 79’s, head swimming under the haze of one too many shots of Corellian fire whiskeys where he could barely distinguish his ass from his hand. Those drunken make-outs were nothing like this.

No—this…this is what a kiss should be like.

He dreams about you all the time—so constantly ravenous that all he can feel some days is pure ache. Every and all words that spin around his head starts with you and finishes with his pounding heart close to bursting free from his ribcage. Not in the same way a flood rips through an unsuspecting village—more like the brilliance of a thousand doves, marble white plumage thrashing free from their gilded cage. Your lips taste like the core of a newborn star—scorching and yet still so sweet upon the tongue the same way caramelized sugar sticks to the roof your mouth. You are his first and last everything.

There’s a certain kind of tragedy hidden beneath your tongue, fragile promises and the eggshell thin shards of hope stapled to the roof of your mouth. Rex will take it—seize any threadbare strand and run with it—spool it into the palm of his hand until you’re wound so tightly together it’ll be impossible to untangle.

Just when the dizziness sets in from elation and not enough air, you part and leave a sticky trail of warm kisses up his jaw. Rex groans and hugs you closer, you humid breath blooming across his skin. “Let me take care of you.”

The words on his tongue crumble to ash once he nods in agreement. Your kisses dip lower, not even stopping when the reach the edge of his chest plate. Stars, you’re…he never entertained the idea that your lips could look so divine in contrast to the battered plastoid. When you fold onto your knees his heart leaps to his mouth, a flare of arousal flashing through his groin.

You rest your chin over his codpiece and smile. “Do you like seeing me on my knees, sir?”

Rex huffs and studies at the opposing wall—

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Your fingers find the claps over his codpiece. “Can I take this off?”

Rex jerks his head in a yes but grabs your wrist. Not a rough hold—a tentative one as hesitation swirls in his eyes. “Don’t—don’t have t’ do this for me—“

You quirk a brow. “I want to because I like you, Rexy.”

A rosy blush blooms over his sharp cheekbones. The captain nods again.

The codpiece clatters to the ground and immediately you move your hand to palm him through his blacks. He grunts and squeezes his eyes shut. There we go.

Biting your lip, you pull down his blacks as far as the plastoid plating allows, greeted with the hard length of his cock, beautiful and flushed a rosy brown. Fuck—he’s thicker than you thought. You wrap your fingers around the base, delighted by Rex’s airy gasp as he throbs in your palm. A bead of liquid shines at the tip and just the sight of it makes your mouth water.

Moons—you should’ve done this sooner.

With a stuttering inhale, Rex trails his forefinger along your cheek and tucks a stray hair behind your ear. The pads of his fingertips skim lower and lightly pinch your chin between his forefinger and thumb. Your eyes lift to meet his. “You—you sure?”

You answer with a kiss over the dip of his navel, the skin searing hot under your lips. Rex curses and rolls his head back onto his shoulders when your palm slides up the length of his cock and then back down. Your grip is firm and tight as Rex slumps onto the crate, goosebumps rushing up his exposed flesh. Stars, when’s the last time he’s gotten release like this?

You lean forward and lick a languid line from the velvety skin of his balls all the way up to the tip. Rex’s hips jolt. You purse your lips and suckle at the head, dipping your tongue over the slit then down to trace the ridge of his frenulum all the while your hand rolls up and down his shaft. Rex tangles his fingers into your hair with a hiss. You open your jaw a bit wider and take him down a few inches into the wet heat of your mouth, feeling your lips stretch around his cock. You you drag the flat of your tongue along the underside of his shaft to make the thickness easier to swallow down, but he's still only halfway into your mouth when he hits the back of your throat.

“Fuck—" Rex moans as his hips strain to remain still. “S’good—such a good girl.”

You glance up, eyes devouring the attractive length of his clean shaven throat and the underside of his chin. Rex swallows and let’s out another little sound. You whine softly in return and slip a hand into your pants, pressing your fingertips against your throbbing clit as you start to carefully bob your head up and down. Yeah—your jaw already aches just from holding his cock in in your mouth but fuck it—it’s worth it.

Rex's chest heaves with exertion as he mindfully rocks his hips up, pushing and rolling his cock deeper into your mouth until his shaft is nearly seated all the way in. Ditching your own pleasure entirely, you swallow around him, forcing down the urge to gag and simply hold him here. Allowing him a moment to just enjoy the soft warmth of your mouth before launching into the main event.

Rex murmurs your name and strokes his thumb over your cheek. “You’re beautiful—so pretty like—like this..ah—”

You pointedly hollow your cheeks and suck, his flattery warming your chest with pride. You swallow around him another time, squeeze his shaft, your fist following your mouth as you lift up then back down to the base. You grunt at the abrupt jolt of his hips. There’s no distinctive rhythm you can follow as you pull halfway up and let Rex rock his hips into your mouth—seeking out his pleasure without a coherent thought in sight. Just a cacophony of gasping breaths and rough moans of your name.

Soon enough he’s twitching in your mouth, his eyes fluttering shut as his head tips back onto his shoulders. The gloved hand sweetly cradling your cheek slips to the nape of your neck, tangling his fingers into you hair to anchor himself. He’s close—quiet gasps and broken curses tumbling out, hips unconsciously rocking into your mouth in search of release.

Rex whimpers your name, his leg jolting as you work your jaw wider and swallow him down, the dark curls tickling your nose once it brushes his groin. “Oh, fuck.”

You hum around him, delighting in the mumbled praises. Almost there…That’s it.

He’s dangling on the precipice—on tiny shove away from euphoria—

“Wait—“ Saliva dribbles down your chin when his cock pops out from your swollen lips, throbbing from the unintentional tease. “Maker—shit.”

If not for the gloves covering his hands, you’re sure they’d be turning white from how tightly he grips the edge of the crate. His eyes are squeezed shut, slightly bent forward as he falls away from the edge of his release. Rex sucks in a steadying breath, amber eyes meeting your confused ones.

“I don’t—can we—“ Rex’s eyes flit and focus on anything but you as he stutters and works up the courage to ask for what he wants. “Do we have time—“

You rolls your eyes and rest your cheek on his thigh. Silly man. “You wanna fuck me, Rexy?”

“Kriff, yes.”

You smile and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. “I don’t think they’ll miss us."

Rex doesn’t complain when you take his hands and yank him onto the grubby floor and over your senatorial robes. He props his back against the crate as you shuck off everything below the waste and clamber into his lap. His hands, warm even through the leather, land over the swell of your hips and wrench you closer until your front presses up against his chest plate.

The rough prickle of his stubble is, in all sense of the word, addictive. He tilts his head to kiss you, the slick touch of his tongue on your bottom lip adding jet fuel to the fire low in your belly. Rex groans and cups your jaw, holding your mouth open to dance his tongue along the length of yours. You whine and shudder as he purses his lips and lightly sucks on your tongue before you both part.

Rex drags his teeth over your bottom lip as you both pant for precious air. His dark lashes sweep up his cheeks when he looks at you. This close you bare witness to the dazzling color of his eyes—crystalized pearls of amber over the crackled bark of pine tree in the midmorning sun. Muted gold threaded through the brown like fine lace and the slow shimmer of the sun dappled through water. To think such a man like him is dredged through the bloodied mud of war is despicable.

You blink away the swell of tears prickling at your eyes and kiss him once more. Sighing, you whisper down, mouthing soft nibbles and teasing kisses over his jaw and down his neck. Rex squirms and rock his hips up, your cunt clenching around nothing. You need him.

“Rex,” you groan. You slide your hand between your bodies and grab at his thick length. Rex gasps into your mouth, long fingers clamping onto your waist in a death grip. “I want you.”

“I’m yours.”

Your nibble at his earlobe as you grind your hips against his length, the folds of your cunt teasingly out of reach. “Touch me, Captain.”

Rex tears off his vambraces and gloves, hand wedging between your thighs, touching the very tips of his fingers to your throbbing clit. You whine and clench your jaw—the pleasure is raw—sizzling electricity that crackles with the deadly promises of your pleasure. It’s as if you’ve had the breath knocked out of your lungs the second he bears down a bit more on your clit, drawing tentative circles, each completion sending a shockwave of tightly spooled ecstasy through each and every nerve. You nearly sob as his fingers slip away.

“So wet already,” Rex moans as you tip your head back when two of his fingers begin circle your dripping cunt. They’re thick and long and perfect. Your hips stutter as your cunt easily accepts his fingers, the heel of his palm slotting perfectly against your pussy to stimulate your clit.

Maker you’re seeing stars as Rex rocks his hand into you—the bend of his fingers the perfect angle to catch all the right places that make you tremble. He kisses your cheek and moans your name into your ear, all low and gravelly—

Your body seizes up tight as you soar, plummeting off the edge only to tumble so fast and so hard that tears prick the corner of your eyes. Rex peppers kisses over your cheeks and runs his free hand through your hair, purring praise and adoration as you shudder—your mouth parted in a silent cry as you cum and dissolve into his hands.

When you suck in a steadying breath and open your eyes, Rex is gazing upon you with starstruck eyes—pure adoration that makes your cheeks flare hotter than the surface of two mini suns. Your teeth catch your bottom lip. You’re not sure you deserve to be looked at like this…

However, you’re impatient and running on stolen seconds. As much as you’d like to just simply stare at him—there’s not enough time. Rex wraps his fingers around the base of his cock and slides the tip of himself through your soaking folds. Each stroke against your still throbbing clit makes you buckle into yourself, but the angle that your knees are propped over his hips means you're stuck here.

Rex pauses and cups your cheek. His thumb scrapes over your cheekbone. “You want this?”

You place your hand over his and turn your head to mouth a kiss over the lines of his palm. Oh, fuck yeah. Kind of him to ask as if hadn’t just cum over his fingers but—no. “I need you to fuck me, Rex. That’s an order.”

Rex huffs out a low chuckle and bumps the crown of his forehead against yours. “As you wish, Senator.”

Rex runs the blunt head of his cock through your folds again, slicking himself up with your arousal. You mewl and dig your nails into the hard plastoid as the wide tip of him pushes into your entrance—he shudders as you clench and wiggle. It doesn’t hurt, but he’s in no small. You’ll feel him for days, you’re sure of it as your cunt swallows inch after inch.

You both groan as he finally bottoms out. His jaw his clenched tight as sweat beads at his blonde hairline—Stars above, he’s a sight, struggling not to loose control the second he’s buried inside of you. Desire tickles up your spine, tugging at the fabrics of your being until all you can focus on his how Rex isn’t moving. You shift your hips in tiny, almost imperceptible motions, and squeeze around him.

“Damn—“ A ragged moans slices through his words as your gentle rocking morphs into needy jolts. It’s easy to fuck yourself onto his cock like this, but the measly thrusts are meant to tempt him. “Fuck, cyare, you’re tight.”

You smirk and grab at his sculpted shoulders—it’s the push he needs. Rex snarls your name, cups his hands under the globes of your ass and pulls you off his cock nearly all the way out only to slam back in. There’s no time to adjust before Rex sets a pace, fevered and rabid All pent up energy collecting over the weeks you’ve known each other. Each roll of his hips borders erratic, taking his pleasure without thought—intent on reaching his own end after being denied for what feels like ages.

You squeal in surprise as Rex pushes you onto your back and hoists your legs around his hips. Rex buries his nose into the crook of your neck and moans your name like a sweet prayer wrapped in honeycomb. Rex shifts his weight, widening his knees to sink deeper into your cunt—his stubble tickling your throat as his staggered exhales burn hot over your skin.

You choke out a groan and feel your arousal begin to drip down your thighs—hear the thrusts of his cock into your cunt become shamefully wetter. Electric heat sears down each vertebrae in your spine, scorching through each and every veins with the catastrophic brilliance of an imploding star. Shit—

“So good t’me—so perfect,” he huffs into your ear. Rex turns his head and steals a kiss. “Feel fuckin’ good stretched around my cock."

You clench around him hard as Rex’s hand sneaks between your bodies and rubs tight, little circles over you swollen clit. There’s barely any build up to your orgasm—just a blinding surge of devastating warmth that sweeps through your body, from your aching center down to your toes. It steals away all the air left in your lungs and leaves your clutching his arm and shuddering for a hold in your own reality—the steady warmth of his body that’s unburdened by armor a much needed anchor for the madness that threatens to drown you.

His gentle, and pliant kisses morph into little pricks of his teeth over your neck and collar bone as his hips struggle to keep a definitive pattern. Rex’s curses string together and blur into nonsensical noises and loose tongue admittances that are comparable to moving inches from an imploding star.

“Where can—can I?”

You grab at his head and whine his name. “Anywhere—in me—you can cum in me.”

With a loving caress over back of his neck and a sweet whisper of his name, he reaches release. Rex’s moan is airy as his eyes slam shut and captures your mouth in a sizzling kiss. He’s twitching in your arms as his hips erratically jerk, hot spurts of his release coating your insides and beginning to leak over your robes you lay over. Whatever.

Rex nips at your skin as the last dregs of pleasure jolt up your spine. Neither of you say a word as Rex’s hips come to a slow. Time trickles through your fingers like sand through an hourglass half empty but instead of rushing to dress, you choose to lie on the ground—two halves of a mess someone’s been meaning to clean up for the better part of a long while. You feel at home here—content as your fingers run up and down the back of his head, a bit irked by the armor still covering his back. You’re terrified of the months to come—but at least you have each other. After all, gardens will bloom and flourish with fresh blooded love and wild mistakes sculpted from passion forever if you believe hard enough…wont they?

#we out here #yeehaw #my writing #captain rex x reader #captain rex x you #ct-7567 #captai rex #clone x reader #clone trooper x reader #the clone wars #tcw #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #star wars #sw

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