#This was a delight to write I am so happy how it came out!!! :D

[kanene-yaaay]

Headshaker (Tickletober Day 3)

Kanene's Notes: OK, I am like, fighting for my life with this one because I want to post it like immediately like right freaking now but I want to at least read it one more time to correct any absurd mistakes and. I don't know which part will win so rip me I guess. jhgfghjikolkijuhyg Writing this fic was so fun I am in looove <3 <3 Mingjue and Huaisang's interacting was a challenge since I only saw them on the donghua and Mingjue kind of uh dies v quickly so. ther's that. oijhgfuytrfghjuik

Day 3 - "Prank" (Tickletober) and "Starligh" (mxtxtober)

Warnings: Lots of tickling! Also some light angst sprinkled here and there, but nothing too complex. Ticklish!Huaisang and Ler!Mingjue. Around 2.500 words.

[~*~]

“HUAISANG!” The roar shook through the entire Unclean Realms and Nie Huisang yelped, hastily putting his paints on their place (he would never let those hanging around after all the trouble he had gone through to get them) and jumped through the window, running hastily away from the loud footsteps that sounded already so close to his room, under the amused gaze of the few guards that were on watching duty tonight. 

The stars looked so beautiful today, a sea of darkness and light dancing together in a lovely contrast that itched his soul to find a poem that talked about it, awaiting for a sharp mind to properly appreciate them. It was a pity it was the last time he would be able to see it before he died.

The footsteps turned the corner and suddenly got much closer. Huaisang let out a high pitched scream, no needing to look behind to see who was his pursuer.

“Brother! It wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t my fault!” He jumped to the side and scrambled when a large hand swiped to his right, his voice getting quicker and hysterical the more he got tired from the exercise. “Please, brother! Have pity, have mercy! It wasn’t my fault, I didn’t do anything!”

“Then who did?!” Came the roar.

Huaisang squeaked loudly, screaming more as another hand almost gripped his shoulder. 

“I don’t know! I really don’t, brother!” Where was Meng Yao with his always trustful back where he could hide behind? But no one but Mingjue and the stars heard his cries. “Maybe it was someone good! Someone who was worried about how much later you go to bed! Maybe they’re annoyed from dealing with your cranky mood from lack of sleep. Maybe they just want to help, brother!”

“HELP?! You locked me in my personal chambers after dinner where I had to spend an entire SICHEN to get free and had to call my guards to help me!!” Oh no, he was embarrassed. It took everything from the younger one to not snicker as he remembered the talisman he commissioned from his good friend Wei Wuxian for this sole purpose. “Do you think I have nothing to do, not a sect to run? Or do you think I also have all the time in the world to lay lazily around the house and ignore my chores?”

Ouch. Huaisang didn’t even have time to pretend offense as he was bodily crashed on the ground, screaming cutting off into grunts as he tried to squirm and free himself enough to scutter around and win a few more minutes of life. Being unsuccessful, he did what he does best.

He looked at his brother straight in his eyes and made his shine with glistering tears, hands holding Mingjue’s sleeves and hands before they could cuff him on the head. 

“Brother…” he whimpered.

Mingjue, knowing him since he was a kid and therefore plenty aware of his every tactic to escape trouble, looked entirely unimpressed and unwavered by one his best acts, face contorted in an angry sneer. “Where are those ridiculous books and fans of yours? I am going to lock them on my chambers and see how you like it when I throw them all into the fire.”

“No, brother, please!” As the older made a move as if to get up, Huaisang threw his arms around him in a hug, body completely slack like a dead weight to at least discourage him. Mingjue complained, but didn’t let him fall.

“Maybe they really did want the best for you. Maybe they just worried.” There was enough truth on it to make Mingjue deflate and huff, still annoyed, but less so.

“Then you should’ve come to me and said it, not run around with your schemes and expect me to suddenly understand it. Use your words, Huaisang. I know you have them.”

Huaisang didn’t hum in acknowledgement, simply continued with attentive eyes. “You’re going to sleep now?”

He saw the deny before it even existed, in the furrow of his brother’s eyebrows and the way his body twitched an inch away, mouth twisting downwards. When he opened his mouth, though, there was hesitation. 

“I still have paperwork to finish today. But tomorrow I will.” Huaisang still pouted, but his efforts weren’t really in it and the older one could see the smugness clear as water in his eyes. In a blink he sent his knuckles to rub on the top of his head. “And when I go to my quarters, tomorrow, I better not find any other talismans, am I clear?”

Huaisang quickly nodded, shouting and whining in despair. For the tune of his voice, one could think that Mingjue was full on throttling him. “You are, da-ge, you are! Stop, stop, you’re hurting me!”

He kept trying to squirm away from his hold, being as unsuccessful as the first time. It was Mingjue’s turn to feel smug. If his little brother ever bothered training or even showing up with his saber to his classes he would have enough strength to put up a fight. 

Wait.

Nie Mingjue stopped and Huaisang quickly pushed his hand away, protecting his head with his palms as he turned to the other, about to complain. 

When he saw the other’s calculating eyes, he froze, mind running. 

He noticed it, he noticed it. Shit, shit, shit-

“What are you doing awake, Huaisang?! You have saber practice right earlier in the morning!” At the younger’s wide stare, Mingjue only scolded further, irritation flaring hot in his veins. His words grew louder, quicker. “Or are you planning on running away from it again? Should I go to your room to drag you by your robes in the morning to it and watch the class myself to make sure you won’t run? That you even will be there for once?”

“I am going to the practice, brother, I really will! I just need to find my saber first…”

“You lost it again? We are warriors, your saber is a part of you. It should be by your side all the time-”

“But it’s so heavy! I just need to find where I put it before class, nothing more.”

It was their same fight. Like every day.

Mingjue took a breath and prepared to shout his thoughts and…

And he deflated, tired. Suddenly very, very tired. 

Maybe those days without sleep really were getting to him. He pictured Xichen’s calming songs and Meng Yao’s kind smile and thought twice, shallowed the words, gritted his teeth and tried.

(You have your words, A-Jue, use and mean them.)

“I won’t always be here for you, Huaisang. We were in a war. If that didn’t convince you how much you need to make your core stronger I don’t know how I can-”

Huaisang squeaked, then gasped, then pressed his hands firmly on his mouth. Mingjue looked down, to his finger that was poking the other’s stomach, right above where his golden core should be.

Then he remembered.

“Brother…”

That is right. His didi was horribly ticklish. Memories of their childhood began running across his mind and he could help but smirk. It’s been so long. He really had forgotten.

Their eyes found each other and Huaisang felt a bolt of electricity run across his spine, hands automatically coming in a poor attempt of covering his torso, his traitor mouth already trying to curl up in a wobbly smile. It was too late for him.

“Da-ge! Please, da-ge!” Mingjue simply smirked bigger, a clawing hand slowly descending towards his belly. “You can’t, please da-ge! I will train! I will strengthen my core! It’s true, da-ge, I really will!” His words were coming out faster, stumbling on each other as his brain spit every card in his hand, anything that could lead to him getting out of this tickle attack. The giddy sensation inside was too strong for him to even think before more and more words just kept falling. “It will be the strongest golden core you’ve ever seen! Our tutors will be out of things to teach me. I will cultivate straight to immortality if only you don’t kill me right now, it’s true! Please, please, da-GEEE!”

“I am not even touching you yet!” 

“You’re going to!” Nie Huaisang felt his face prickle with heat, but his hands were the only thing between Mingjue’s offending wiggling fingers and his poor unprotected tummy. And he was plenty aware that his “protection” was simply an illusion, one that at any time that his brother decided that he wanted to go straight to the point he would, no matter the obstacle. Besides, Mingjue wasn’t known for his infinite patience, or procrastinating. So, yes, he was already giggling. “And you know I can’t stand it, I really can’t. Please, brother, I won't survive this attack! I am dying, I am dying!”

Mingjue snorted, then scoffed to hide it. “You love being tickled, stop being so dramatic! Don’t you remember running after me everywhere, pulling on my hands when I was heading training or laying on my lap when I had to take care of the sect correspondence and asking to play tickle fight every single time?”

Why must Mingjue torture him like this with all the memories of his childhood? His brother was really merciless, just as ruthless as everyone painted him to be. To remind him of when he would throw himself in his arms and get tickled only to shriek “again! again!” as the older complained about needing to work! Nie Huaisang couldn’t even hide his face from this embarrassment.

Thankfully (or not), before he could turn himself into a bird and fly directly into the sun by the sheer will of his mind, his wrists were snatched away and the hand collided on his belly. Everything else exploded in a white light, unimportant and infinitesimal in the face of the feeling of those clawing fingers, scribbling and skittering anywhere they could reach, sneaking to his sides and drumming on them, spidering to his hips and squeezing until there was not even a hint of hope of Huaisang holding back any of his reactions, much less his laughter.

“NAHAHAHAHA B-BROHOHTHER! LEHEHET GO!”

“Not until your golden core gets stronger. Since you’re not going to practice, let’s see if this training interests you better.”

Nie Huaisang shook his head, trashing and curling to his side only for those offending hands to keep spidering and finding his back, running tickles across his spine and drilling on his back ribs until he was arching and crackling, unable to turn back and protect the new attacked ticklish spots. Laughter rang loud and strident across the yard, childish screeches and squeaks escaping from his mouth every time a wave of pokes hit his skin or wiggling fingers found a good spot to focus on. 

It was interesting, really, how much he looked like Mingjue when he was being tickled. His voice was loud and unashamed, clear in his words, thoughts getting out from their usual place behind his fans and spilling from him in an honest message, arms, legs and entire body gesturing, flailing around, not caring about how much attention or space it would claim. It was endearing to see. Maybe Mingjue really had spent too much time without properly tormenting his little brother, to feel so fond of seeing it again. He should catch up.

“IHIHIHIHI CAN’T BRHEHEATHE!” A hand scrambled to take over the opportunity and pinch and scratch at the skin behind his knee, pulling a loud snort that would’ve mortified the smaller if he had a clearer mind. HIs laughter slowed from a loud shrieking to a hysterical snickering, legs kicking in protest, as if demanding attention. At this, Mingjue chuckled. Well, no one could really blame him as he stopped scribbling his fingers over his shoulderblades (his didi was truly ticklish everywhere) and held one of them so he could focus on squeezing and clawing all the way from his calves to his kneecaps over and over again. 

“I ahahahaham DYIHIHIHIHING, brohohohother! You’rehehehehe kiliHIHIHIHIING MEHEHEHEHE, you reheheheahahahaha arehEHEHEHEHE! STOHOHOHOHOP going theHEHERE!”

Ah, there was the squeals, he was starting to wonder when they would come. 

“Tickling Here? Right here?” He kneaded the thigh with energy at the last word, huffing in amusement when Huaisang threw his head back, laughter rising once again uncontrollably only to dim into never-ending, high pitched giggles when he went back to spidering his hands under his knee. “No moving. If you can still be dramatic, then I can still tickle you even more.”

Huaisang seemed to have registered only half of his words, shaking his head, squeaks and snorts mingling with his words. “Gehehehet out of theheheREHEHEHE, GEHEHHEHET ohohut!” A hand came and began swatting down on his. Mingjue grabbed it and pulled until it was above the other’s head. Wide, teary eyes and a giant, wobbling smile found his face. He drummed on his unprotected armpit before Huaisang could protest.

“There! Should I stay here, then?”

Huaisang felt like his every nerve was under attack, shaking and sending tiny ticklish shocks all across his skin, following each touch, tingling in ghost sensations where he already had been tickled, where he was currently being tickled and even where he thought his brother would attack next, his mind running on top speed, squirming with all his might to escape the wiggling fingers and the silly sensation only to be completely overtaken by it, freeing all his most childish reactions and sounds straight to the wild. There was laughter, there were yelps, shrieks, snorts, squeals and giggles running and escaping everywhere.

Tears fell from his eyes and hiccups began taking over his cracking when Mingjue finally decided to stop. 

Huaisang continued laying there, hugging himself and almost becoming a ball with this, the rest of his giggling coming muffled as his big, way too telling smile was hidden in a pretense of hidding. Mingjue laid a firm hand on his head, fondly, and looked up at the sky, watching the stars twinkling as if they were sharing the same amusement, the same joy between them, and the high point the moon was currently at.

“Perhaps I will actually head over to my bed, when we get inside. It’s already way too late to work.”

And the betrayed, absolutely in disbelief expression that Huaisang sent in his direction made him snort, then fall in loud, booming laughter.

What a beautiful night.

[frollosversion]

Part 3/Last Part before it slips out of my head.

"How much of a Father am I?"

Again to new readers, this is the little backstory of Claude raising Quasi.

Part 1

Part 2

+-+-+

"M-master—!!" Quasimodo immediately greeted as soon as he saw the silhouette of his master's hat by the entrance of the bell tower.

Quasimodo grew up to be a happy boy albeit Frollo's opposite nature, very much like the archdeacon's personality; he respects claude so much, as much as possible he doesn't want to anger him— also because he receives punishments at times. a nice boy in general.

Quasimodo learned to read by the age of 3 and was already writing legibly at age 4. Claude was so surprised that the child had steady fingers despite his hands being a bit bigger than most kids. Of course he doesn't want to say he's proud but he does reward him with fresh bread and a small bunch of grapes which is different from his usual meal (stale bread and water).

Quasi was already 5 when he started to take interest in drawing. His subjects are mostly the people that he sees from below. Sometimes he asks his guardian to go down the bell tower just to draw them better so Frollo had to explain to him that he can't.

"M-master, why can't i go down the bell tower?" The little boy asked.

He expects him to answer 'because you're ugly' or whatever but at that time, he heard something else.

"People are cruel down there, my dear boy. They take advantage of you especially if you look nothing like them— which applies to you. A lot of them are evil and are just as corrupt as any other beings."

"Can't I just...maybe.. go out there one day, master?" The boy insisted.

"Do you want people to use you and take advantage of you? They are wicked and rotten, Quasimodo."

"But—"

"Think of your mother, boy! If your mother took her advantage on you and abandoned you, what makes you think you can't last a day with this disgusting, horrifying, vulgar crowd?! Remember that I am the only one who took you in with kindness." Claude raised his voice as his patience goes thin"

"S-sorry, master." Quasimodo apologized.

"If wanted to draw them, deal with it by drawing them from here. Do what you want but you are not to leave this bell tower. Do you understand??"

"Y-yes, master frollo."

"Remember what I taught you?"

"This... This is my sanctuary." Quasimodo sighed softly.

"That's right, my dear boy. This is your sanctuary. You're a smart kid." Frollo says sitting down, taking huge book from the shelf. "Shall we review your alphabet today?"

The 5-year old boy's sorry eyes are then replaced with delight.

"Yes master, I would love that very much!"

"Very well... A?"

"A-abomination."

"B?"

"Blasphemy..?"

"C?"

"C-c-contrition!"

"Good." Claude praises. "D?"

"Damnation."

"E?"

"Eternal Damnation..?"

"F?"

Quasimodo paused for a bit as he forgot what it was. He knows his master's gonna scold him if he forgets but he couldn't really remember so he tries to answer something else. Something closer...

"F-frollo—"

"Excuse me??" Claude tilts his head and furrowed his brows, making sure he heard it right. Quasimodo could only stutter in response.

Claude internally finds it so hilarious but he's never laughed in front of his child so he tries to keep a straight face, but his face certainly red for holding it.

"Hhh—kkk.." Claude snickered, looking away at the child.

"Sorry master... sorryyy." The child approached him, trying to look at his guardian's face.

"Th-that's your homework, okay? Know what the rest of your alphabet is." His voice came out stern despite him crumbling to his own thoughts.

"Yes, master." Quasimodo responded.

"I still have my duties. I'll see you at dinner." He placed the book down and stood up, leaving the bell tower.

Claude let out a good laugh after leaving him at the belltower. He still finds it hilarious and cute at the same time.

"Hahahha, he said 'Frollo'. That's amusing."

Frollo's mind was occupied by that small moment as he works in the palace of justice.

That night, he was eager to see his child more than usual.

—end—

[tonberry-yoda]

Hi hi! Would you mind writing something where the Reader is trying to take care of Kurapika? Like having him take a break or making him something to eat because he's so focused on his damn eyes and not on himself. I don't mind headcanons or a fic, whichever is easiest for you!! And if it's okay, can I be 🪜(ladder) anon?

Break - Kurapika

notes - LADDER ANON HI! I am so glad to have you in the Tonberry family!! Also, I love this request sm might I add. This boy needs a break more than anyone and I was so happy to write it for you! I hope you have an amazing day dear! Please stay hydrated and well!!! <3333

word count - 743

"Kurapika, please, can you just come home and get some goddamn rest?" you asked over the phone, rubbing your temples.

"I've been busy. You know this, y/n."

"Yes, but I can tell even just by hearing your voice that you have eyebags. You're tired as shit, so please just come home."

"I'm staying at a hotel tonight," his voice was raspy. "I'll be fine."

"I'm picking you up then. I don't care how far I have to drive, you're coming home tonight."

You hung up before he could respond and got in your car. For safety reasons, he had been telling you what cities he has been staying in, and the one he had been staying at that night wasn't too far away from where you lived. So you got your ass up and drove.

Finding the hotel that he was staying in was going to be the real issue, so you decided to text him.

Which hotel are you staying in? And don't think about leaving me on read because I'm already here.

You could practically hear him sigh. But he texted you the address anyway and before you knew it, you were knocking on his room door.

He opened the door and actually managed to crack a small smile at you when he saw you standing in front of him with bags of what looked like groceries in your hands.

He stepped aside to let you in and you walked into a gorgeous hotel room that smelled like lavender and a soap you couldn't quite put your finger on.

"How have you been, Kura?" you asked, slipping off your shoes.

"Tired," he admitted, which surprised you.

"Do you mind if I stay the night?"

"I don't mind at all."

If you were being honest though, you didn't really care what his answer was, you were already pulling out your pajamas and nightly gear as you asked the question.

After you got everything ready and in a nice and accessible place, you walked around the hotel room, shocked at what you found. It had a giant bed and an extremely fancy bathroom. It even came with a kitchen, which delighted you as you were hoping to cook something nice for your boyfriend.

When you walked back to the bedroom, you found Kurapika laying on the bed, resting his eyes a bit, though, when you walked in, he peeked at you with one eye and smiled.

You sauntered over to him and sat on the bed, laying his head in your lap and running your fingers through his long hair. It seemed that he had calmed down a lot with you just being there, which made you smile.

"You should come home after tonight." you whispered, placing a kiss onto his head.

"But-"

"No objections," you told him, sternly. "You need to take a break and stop focusing on those eyes for at least a week. You look less like Kurapika and are looking more like a member of the Phantom Troupe."

"D-Don't say that!" Kurapika shot up, looking at you, shocked.

"I didn't mean it like that," you said softly. "I just don't want you looking like that. I want you to take a break."

He sighed and leaned back in your lap. "Maybe going home will be good for me. Just for a couple days though."

"That's good enough for me." You moved Kurapika's head out of your lap and walked to the kitchen preparing something for the two of you. It was nice to do this for Kurapika, especially since you hadn't seen him in far too long.

When you brought the food back to his room, you found him sitting and staring at a pair of eyes he had found during his journey.

"Dinner." you spoke quietly, not wanting to scare him.

He turned to you and slightly smiled, putting the eyes away. "Thank you, y/n." He gladly took the food and ate every last bite, humming at how delicious it was.

"I miss you," you said after finishing your dinner, holding Kurapika in a small hug.

"But I'm right here."

"I just want to take care of you." There was the waver of tears in your voice.

"I'll let you." he whispered.

Him saying that and allowing you to do what you needed to do for him was enough. You were going to let him take a break and he was more than thankful to you.

~~~~~

hxh masterlist | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[shinybearnerd]

"Celestial Ties" - pt. 2 of 2

Part 1.

Bonus Part

----------------------

Hello! Here's the second part of the fanfiction. Hope you like it! Soon I'll put other stuff about Good Omens. I have a request too! (Ahhh! Can't wait to write it). Anyway, bye. >:D

Pair: Aziraphale x Gn!reader Words: 2,9k Genre: Angst, some fluff? Story: The reader and Aziraphale see each other after eight years. That's it. (I don't know how to put it, otherwise lmao)

-Engish is not my first language. So I'm sorry if there are any mistakes-

When Y/n first laid eyes on Aziraphale after so many years, a whirlwind of emotions engulfed them. Their heart skipped a beat, and a mix of shock, joy, and pain washed over them like crashing waves. Their souls seemed to reach out, yearning to bridge the gap of lost years and unresolved emotions. They exchanged silent glances, communicating a lifetime's worth of feelings without uttering a single word.

All these memories, all those emotions that they so hard tried to bury deep within their soul, all of a sudden started to flood back out again, and they couldn't do anything to stop it.

Aziraphale's sudden appearance shattered the carefully constructed walls they had built around their heart, leaving them vulnerable and raw. A part of them had hoped to see him again, to reconcile the love they once shared, while another part knew that the pain of the past might resurface, tearing them apart all over again.

As for Aziraphale, seeing Y/n was both a blessing and a curse.

He couldn't deny the profound love he still felt for them, a love that had never really faded with time. But with that love came the weight of his own choices, the sacrifices he had made for the greater good, and the knowledge that he was the one who had driven them away.

When their eyes met, he felt an overwhelming sense of hope, the deep-rooted desire to embrace them and make everything right again. His angelic heart yearned for forgiveness, for a chance to make amends for the pain he had caused. Yet, he knew that he didn't deserve such a reunion. Not with the way he treated Y/n.

For the first time in his existing felt jealous seeing them with their son, living a life he couldn't be a part of. He envied the time they spent together, the happiness that seemed elusive to him.

The moment was charged with unspoken words, a delicate dance of emotions hidden beneath strained smiles and hesitant glances. It was as if time had ceased to exist, leaving them suspended in shared memory.

As Y/n and Aziraphale stood face to face, a torrent of emotions swirled between them, too overwhelming for words. Their eyes locked, and their hearts ached with the weight of unspoken truths. The love that had endured and the pain of parting ways.

Crowley stood by Aziraphale's side, causing his presence to make the angel feel protected.

Y/n's son, unaware to all, beamed up at Aziraphale, a smile of innocence lighting up his face.

     <<Are you a friend of my Nomy, too? >>

Aziraphale's gaze shifted from the boy to Y/n, both unsure of what to say. The question hung in the air, loaded with unspoken truths and the complexities of their past. The angel's gaze then softened as he looked down at the boy.

     << Yes, my dear. I am a... friend of your parent. Yes.>> he replied, his voice gentle and tinged with nostalgia as he looked at Y/n.      <<He's Aziraphale, my love. >> Y/n put his hands on his son's shoulders. << He and I go back a long time...>>      <<Do you run that bookshop? >> Aziraphale exchanged a surprised glance with Crowley, momentarily caught off guard by the child's request.       << Yes.>> said with his usual warm smile. <<Would you like to visit? Obviously, if your... okay with it. >> he added soon after looking at Y/n again. Upon hearing the confirmation, his face lit up with delight, eager to visit the bookstore he had admired from afar. He instantly looked at his parent, begging them to go.

Crowley seized the opportunity and suggested going inside. If a stare could have killed, or in this case, discorporated, Y/n could've done so. But the demon continued. << It would be a shame to miss such an opportunity...>>

Aziraphale's eyes lit up with a glimmer of hope. His hesitance melted as the prospect of them in the bookshop again filled him with anticipation.

Y/n attempted to brush off the suggestion, claiming they had other plans. But their son was determined. The boy's enthusiasm was infectious, and Y/n couldn't resist the pleading look in their child's eyes, so they accepted with a sigh and a gentle smile. 

     <<Alright, we'll go inside... for a while. >> consented, looking at Aziraphale, who what almost squirming from anticipation

As they entered the bookshop, memories of the past flooded back, and nostalgia washed over Y/n. The old wooden shelves, the scent of leather-bound books, and the soft glow of lamplight all felt like echoes of a time long gone. Nothing has changed. Even tho Y/n knew the shop's probably been like this since the angel opened the shop.

Aziraphale guided the boy through the store, showing him his favourite books and sharing stories from past centuries. The child was enthralled by the angel's stories, his eyes full of wonder. Saying that that warmed the angel's heart was a euphemism. 

Crowley and Y/n remained near the entrance, on one of the armchairs next to Aziraphale's desk.      << He's a clever kid... He has your eye.>> The demon started. Y/n immediately knew what he was going for.      <<Please don't say another word. It's already difficult as it is. >> whispered, looking at Aziraphale and his son smiling at each other. A cocktail of emotion mixed in them.      << He should know that he's his son too. And you know it, too.>>      Y/n snapped. <<Why would he? He didn't seem to have so much caring for me before! >>      << What on heaven are you talking about? He adored you! He worshipped you as if you were God herself!>>      <<Then we remember two different Aziraphales. >> they said as they stood up, calling for their son. << Aiden, come on. It's time to go, baby.>>      <<But mom, Mr Fell was- >>      << I'm sorry, but we have to go.>>

Y/n's words were suspended in the air, laden with bitterness and unresolved pain. Their gaze was firmly fixed on their son, a mix of protectiveness and hurt etched on their face. Crowley watched with a heavy heart.

Aziraphale, caught off guard by the sudden tension, furrowed his brow in confusion. His eyes darted between Y/n and Crowley.

Aiden walked towards his parent, a little annoyed by the rash stop of the visit. Aziraphale's gaze shifted between Y/n and their son, his heart heavy with confusion and regret. He wanted to reach out, to bridge the distance that had grown between them, but he respected Y/n's wishes, understanding that the wounds were still too fresh, too deep.

     The little boy took his parent's hand and turned to address the angel. <<Thank you so much, Mr Fell. Your bookshop is awesome! >>      The angel smiled heartily. << Well, thank you, Aiden.>>      <<I'm sorry that we can't stay a little longer... >>      << Do not worry about that. You have to listen to your parents. They know what's best for you... Besides, you'll always be welcome in my shop.>> As he ended the phrase, he made a blue lollypop appear with a miracle. The boy's smile widened. The magic and the sugar treat both.

He only took the sweet when Y/n gave them a smiling nod. They hated to think about it, but Aziraphale sweetness towards kids always made their heart melt. They always knew that he would make an incredible father. And that moment was another piece of evidence.

     << Wow! How did you do it?>>      <<Well, a magician never reveals. >>      << You're so cool, Mr Fell!>> Aziraphale violently blushed. No one ever said something like that to him.

     <<Come, my love. Let's go. >> As the angel heard the pet name, he felt his heart being shattered even more. They used to call him that way. Well, he thought. It was the right thing to say. But why he still felt horrible?

As Y/n and their son turned to leave, Aziraphale felt a sense of longing and regret tugging at his heart. He watched them walk away, his soul yearning for a chance to make amends. But for now, he could only stand in silence.

Once Y/n and their son disappeared from view, Aziraphale talked to Crowley. << What was that about? What have you told them?>> The demon opened his mouth different times. Nothing came out of it. Aziraphale's eyes looked into Crowley's, searching for answers he couldn't seem to find.

Finally, after a moment of tense silence, Crowley sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. <<I… I only tried to nudge things in the right direction. >> He admitted, his voice tinged with regret. Aziraphale furrowed his brow. <<What is it you're not telling me, Crowley? >> his voice was gentle yet insistent. << There's more to this, isn't there?>> The demon hesitated, the weight of his own secrets burdening his soul. <<I… I may have suggested that their son is… >> His words were hesitant and laced with guilt. << You need to talk to them. That's all I can say to you.>>

Crowley's evasive response only deepened Aziraphale's concern. The angel knew that there was something the demon wasn't telling him, and it left an unsettling feeling in his heart.

<<Need to talk to them? >> Aziraphale repeated a mix of curiosity and trepidation in his voice. << About what, exactly? What have you done, Crowley?>>

The demon's gaze faltered, his internal struggle evident on his face. He knew he couldn't keep the truth hidden forever. But he also didn't want to cause further turmoil between Y/n and Aziraphale. Finally, after a long moment of contemplation, Crowley sighed and decided to be honest. <<I might have hinted that their son… He might… No. He IS… >> he took a deep breath and admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. << …Aiden is your son.>>

Aziraphale's eyes widened in shock as the truth finally came to light. His heart pounded in his chest, a mixture of emotions swirling within him. It was as if the world had shifted on its axis, and everything he thought he knew had been upended. <<My… son? >> Aziraphale whispered, his voice trembling with disbelief. << How is that even possible?>> <<Well, you know… When two people love each other very- >> << I know how this thing works. I'm not an idiot! It's just…>> he sighed. <<We're celestial beings. We're not meant to have offspring, Crowley! >>

The angel's voice wavered with confusion, frustration, and a touch of sadness. Aziraphale's brow furrowed as he tried to process the magnitude of what had been revealed. His thoughts swirled, grappling with the reality of having a son, something he had never imagined for himself as an angel. It challenged everything he thought he knew about his existence and purpose.

<< But what does this mean for us?>> Aziraphale asked, his voice filled with uncertainty. <<What does it mean for our relationship, for Y/n, and most importantly, for our son? I have to talk to her... >>

-.-.-.-.-.-

Days passed, and while Aziraphale was searching Y/n's apartment, Y/n ware thinking about Aziraphale nonstop. It felt like the first time they saw him, in the bookshop. Charming, clever, sweet… His eyes were always full of life and wonder. Full of that sparkles of wisdom and innocence.

He found himself consumed by thoughts of them, unable to shake the overwhelming emotions that had been stirred by the revelation of their son. He hoped to find the right moment to talk, to confront the truth and understand why they kept all away from him.

Each day without Y/n felt like an eternity, and Aziraphale's heart longed to see them again, to gaze into their eyes and find that sparkle that made them look like little stars.

He wandered into the shop, Crowley as always next to him. The demon was trying to say that maybe he found their apartment, but the angel was lost in thought, replaying memories of their time together. The laughter. The shared moments of happiness. The love that bound them together. The way their eyes met with a shared understanding…

He knew he had to find Y/n and have that long conversation to seek forgiveness and understanding. Time had passed, and wounds had decayed, but he couldn't let fear hold him back any longer.

Amid his thoughts, the bell above the door chimed, signalling the arrival of a visitor. Aziraphale and Crowley turned, his heart leaping in his chest as he saw Y/n standing before them. The angel's heart skipped a beat.

<< Y/n...>> Aziraphale breathed. His voice was barely a whisper. <<Someone wanted to visit your shop a little bit better… >> Aiden's little figure popped out, a wide winning smile on his lips. << Do you mind Mr Fell?>> As he listened to his son calling him "Mister", his heart sank a little. But smiled anyway and accepted.

<<Here, kid. I'll show you around. >> said Crowley, putting a hand on the kid's shoulders while walking him through the aisle.

As the two were left alone to talk, their past feelings started to resurface. He couldn't help but smile as he watched Crowley guiding their son through the bookshop, the demon's fondness for the child evident in every gesture.

Y/n glanced at Aziraphale, their eyes lingering on him before the angel broke the silence. << I didn't expect to see you here…>> << Well… I'm here now.>> <<I've been looking for you. I… I needed to talk to you. >> Y/n looked at him, a feeling of deja-vù in her stomach. << About what?>> <<About our son… >> Y/n became white as a ghost. << Who told you? It was Crowley?>>

Aziraphale hesitated, grappling with the truth and the situation at hand.

<< Yes, it was Crowley.>> he admitted, in a whisper. <<Of course he did... >> << He thought it was best to be honest with me. And I'm grateful that he did!>> Y/n looked conflicted, their emotions swirling beneath the surface. <<I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't even fully understand it myself. >> << I understand…>> Aziraphale said, reaching out to gently touch Y/n's hand. <<It was a lot to take in. Especially for you! Raising a child all of your own! But… now that we know the truth, I think it's important that we talk about it openly and honestly. >> Y/n looked down at their intertwined hands. A mix of emotions playing across their face. << I never thought I'd be in this situation… I mean, having a son with an angel! It's not something you read about in fairy tales.>> Aziraphale smiled softly, dropping it off quickly later. <<Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant? Why did you run away? >> Y/n laughed darkly. << I was the one to run away? You're not really saying and asking me those things. Do you remember what you told me 8 years ago?>>

The atmosphere grew heavy with unspoken regrets and painful memories.

<<I remember.>> Aziraphale whispered, his voice laden with sorrow. <<I said things I didn't mean. Things I regret every day since. I know that I hurt you deeply... It was my biggest mistake, and I can never forgive myself for driving you away. But I was trying to protect you!- >>

     Y/n's eyes glistened with unshed tears, anger simmering beneath the surface. << You didn't just drive me away, Aziraphale!. You denied our love, our connection. You made me believe that everything we had shared was meaningless to you!>>      <<I know... >> The weight of his past actions crushing him. << I was afraid, Y/n. Afraid of the consequences. Of going against the expectations placed upon me as an angel. But mostly, I was terrified they would hurt you if they knew about us! If I could not stop...>>      <<But it wasn't right for me. >> Y/n replied, their voice raw with emotion. << You made that decision for both of us without even giving me a chance to understand what was going on.>>      <<I was a fool. >> Aziraphale admitted, his voice breaking. << I didn't realize how much I loved you until it was too late. Until you were gone. And I've regretted it every day since! Please, Y/n. You have to believe me.>>

Silence fell between them, the weight of their shared pain and missed opportunities hanging in the air. Y/n's gaze met Aziraphale's, and he saw the hurt and vulnerability they had carried with them all these years.

<<I've been living with this ache for so long... And seeing with Aiden. Knowing the truth too! ...only deepened my longing to see you again, to try to make things right. >> Laughed angrily. << Do you really think that everything could be right again?>> <<I don't know. >> Aziraphale replied honestly. << But I want to try. I want to be there for you, for Aiden. I want to rebuild what we once had. ...But only if you'll allow me.>>

Y/n looked torn, the conflicting emotions evident on their face. <<I can't just forget the pain, Aziraphale. >> they said, their voice trembling. << But… I can't deny that I-I still love you.>>

Aziraphale's heart skyrocketed at their words, hope flickering in the darkness of their conversation. He lined closer and took their hands. <<I love you too. >> he said, his voice filled with sincerity. << And I promise you, I'll spend the rest of eternity making it up to you if you'll give me the chance.>>

Tears finally spilt from Y/n's eyes as they looked at Aziraphale, vulnerability and love intertwining in their gaze. <<I don't know if I can trust you again… But I want to try too. >>

Aziraphale reached out and gently wiped away their tears. << Then let's try together. One step at a time, rebuilding what we lost, and creating something new. Just me, you and Aiden.>>

As their hands remained intertwined, Y/n nodded, a glimmer of hope shining through the pain. They didn't dare to talk about their partner at home. They just smiled and nodded.

[hauntinq-6]

So... last night my very first run of BG3 finally came to an end, and... I gotta say I am pretty emotional.

Summer (my Tav) has been with me for six years. I first created her for my first ever D&D campaign back when I was still in high school and I still had the possibility to play. Hers was the only campaign I got to see from start to finish, so she is very dear to my heart.

Many things happened in these six years. I graduated from high school, I played other campaigns that never got to have an ending (don't date your DMs, kids-), I got broken up with my boyfriend, I got into uni, I lost family members, I've had some of my highest highs and lowest lows, I got my first degree in Psychology... And all throughout these years I kept creating characters, I kept addind and removing and modifying and writing and drawing and it was all so much fun!

But I kept missing Summer. I can't quite explain what attracts me so much to her character. If it's the fact I was in a happy place when I first created her and so my emotions and feelings from that time still connect me to her, or if it's specifically because I got to play a whole campaign with her or even because not only I could play with her but my best friend was also along with me for the ride and we had a blast together. Whatever it is, I could never quite be done with her, you know?

One thing was for certain though. After the first two or three years her ending didn't satisfy me anymore. She was still so young, she still had so many questions left unanswered and so much potential. We were thinking of a possible sequel campaign for her and Arwen (my best friend's character and now Tav) but that's when our DM dropped us both. We were left wondering what we could do for them, what we could write and how. We weren't entirely sure which direction to take our characters in.

Then BG3 came out. I remember my timeline being flooded with Astarion edits (that damn song lives rent free in my head at this point), being so utterly confused at what the hell was going on and then slowly becoming intrigued. I remember sitting down with my best friend to watch a mega compilation of all the characters' romance scenes, finding the visuals so damn beautiful, being convinced I would be my usual freak self and go for The Emperor but falling hard for Gale instead. We so desperately wanted to play but neither of us had a PC that was compatible with the game.

Then my long distance friend reached out and told me he wanted to play long distance with me on Discord. It was all incredibly clunky and finicky but Gods I was so happy. He'd be playing from the other side of the country and streaming it for me, and I would pick all the dialogue choices in character. That's when my bestie and I had a eureka moment and thought "what if... what if Summer and Arwen's story wasn't over yet? What if they left Aegis to find new adventures and ended up in Faerun??". I was so fucking excited it is almost unbelievable.

We spent six whole months on this one game file and I enjoyed every. single. second of it. Six whole months of pure excitement and delight. The more I played, the more I tweaked Summer's character and backstory to fit the narration, the more I got inspired to write up the new chapters of her adventure with my best friend and the more I fell in love with her. I laughed, I cried, I launched myself into deep discussions over her character and why she would do or say certain things in each situation. I saw her easily slip back into her avdenturing habits, adoring each moment she got to spend under the stars. I saw her face her demons once again and with even more purpose this time. I saw her make new friends that she would want to spend the rest of her life with, I saw her fall in love with a man that truly deserved to be by her side... My little tiefling sorceress that plays like a barbarian, my pride and joy.

And it all came to and end last night. Her and her allies won the last battle, they saved Baldur's Gate, Gale proposed to her and she moved with him to Waterdeep to spend the rest of their life together. She got her happy ending.

Six whole years with Summer and I can finally consider her story complete. Perhaps she is so important to me because out of all the characters I created, she is the only one that finally got her whole character arc. A beginning and an end. And after all the harsh challenges she faced, after all the dangers and the pain and suffering... she finally got her happy ending. She got what she deserved.

Now, does that mean I am done with Summer? Absolutely not. There is still much to do, much to write and much to draw. I'm gonna have tons of fun thinking up extra little scenarios for her and her friends and what her life in Waterdeep is gonna look like as she finally gets to build a family of her own. But as far as I am concerned... her main story's complete.

And as I listen to Endless Spring and get emotional all over again, I want to thank @wolfhunter89 and @sheeplyquillwrites for coming along with me on this wonderful journey. Summer's story just wouldn't have been the same without you. I love you guys so damn much, even if I never say it. I can't wait to see what's in store for Arwen next. To many more stories and games shared together!

[nikoisme]

Okay, okay, okay, this is just for the silly but it made me giggle so I hope it makes you giggle too. :D

With your River Wives and with them cleaning trash, I had the idea of Fisherwoman trying to be cute and place a present amongst the trash to be sorted or whatever, and if Naiad has a collection of stuff she's found, maybe putting a little present in there.

Naiad: Oh! What's this? How'd this get here? Thought we cleaned this out. Fisherwoman: I don't know~ Maybe we missed something. What do you think of it? Naiad: It's pretty! ...Feel bad for whoever tossed it out. *yeets it to the trash pile* Fisherwoman: No! It's a gift! Naiad: Then why didn't you just give it to me??? You know how many of these get tossed into the river?? Fisherwoman: ...Well, do you like it? Naiad: Yeah :D *smooch*

Sometimes Riverwives have some miscommunication like everyone else :D

It's very silly but made me giggle so I hope it makes you giggle too.

YESSS YES THIS IS SO IN CHARACTER FOR THEM!!! THIS IS CANON. Fisherwoman would definitely place little gifts and trinkets among the trash to cheer her up, since she knows naiad gets really upset and is in a bad mood when she sees all that trash. But she just loves seeing her wife's smile - both of them do. They are stupidly in love with each other ���� However naiad just doesn't pick up on things sometimes - since she's a naiad and just doesn't understand human things at first. So fisherwoman also teaches her stuff like that! (I have a whole bit where fisherwoman teaches her how to swear which results in naiad swearing in almost EVERY sentence. She almost regrets it). There are so many silly drawings i want to make that PERFECTLY describe their dynamic.

Seeing you talk about the river wives made me stupidly happy thank you mads 🥺 i barely post anything about them but they are IN MY MIND and i love them so much. Past me, who came up with the story, would be so delighted to know that they finally get to kiss. Istg there was so much yearning and obvious "i am in love with you"s, i was like "now KISS. pLEASE KISS" the entire time i was writing. Now they can finally kiss <33

[dreamerinsilico]

Fic writing questions

tagged by @yuniemaki - thank you for thinking of me!

how many works do you have on ao3?

67

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

344,183

Kind of wild to me, but the VAST majority of those words happened more than five years ago.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Mostly The Sandman right now, although I'm still a Hannibal person and I think I feel some BG3 coming on eventually. I've meandered my way through various video game fandoms over the years and am likely to return to Pillars of Eternity. Rather less likely for the Bioware stuff, but maybe the upcoming DA game will, in a stunning subversion of my expectations, make me care about Dragon Age again.

I really enjoy the Yuletide fic exchange, so I write for whatever small fandom I get assigned that year (so far I've done Wayward Children, Left Hand of Darkness, and Goncharov), and I'm hoping to get more into exchanges.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Constellations of the Things We Left Unsaid - multichapter Reaper76 thing I actually finished and was writing when Overwatch was popular

His Pale Steed - early Hannibal fic, I think it was my second

Best of Cruel Intentions - also earlyish Hannibal fic, and the start of my very excellent mutual betaing relationshihp with @tiggymalvern

Let's Try Another Kind of Peace - T_T WIP crawling out of the well to shame authorkind (also Hannibal. Yes, I still do have intent to get back to it.)

Solstice - Actually tickled and delighted this made the list; it's the second fic I ever posted to AO3, and it is Aela/F!Dovahkiin smut from the Skyrim kinkmeme back in the day

5. do you respond to comments?

A majority of the time, yes. Especially if I get a meaty one to actually talk about!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

....yeah, not really any competition there, it's I Recall, which I wrote for a Pillars of Eternity minibang about my Watcher, Acantha's past-life doomed romance with Iovara.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm not sure how to answer this one! I'm kinda all over the map in terms of the tone of the fics I write, and I don't know how to really differentiate between different happy endings.

But let's shout out You Sang Me of Some Distant Past (Dragon Age, F!Hawke/Morrigan, which canoe I will paddle until the end times) - this was my first ever big bang entry, and I'm still happy with it a decade later.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I think the closest thing to hate I've ever gotten was someone saying my Labyrinth fic had Sarah using too many big words in her head.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

My AO3's linked all over this post, you can just go look.

But uh, lot of D/s, lot of knifeplay, I think are the two big themes.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

I have written one (1) crossover! There's Someone Scratching Softly is a Hannibal/Wayward Children crossover where Jack Wolcott is in therapy with Hannibal. It's the leviathan shadow of a much larger AU Hannibal fic I've done a lot of brainstorming on, and I posted it on a whim one day (I hadn't originally intended to, when I wrote it) and was very pleased with that decision, because a few fans who know both canons came out of the woodwork to gush at me about it.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

No idea, but probably not; I don't write enough plotty epics to make it likely.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I'm aware of. (A couple of delightful people have podficced some of my short Hannibal fics, though! I was very excited.)

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope. Wouldn't completely rule it out as a possibility, but not something I've done date.

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

I don't really do all-time favorites? I do whatever I've got the most brainrot about currently. I don't have a good way of ranking favorite ships relative to one another!

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Relentless Splinters I Recall is the parent fic, sort of, to I Recall, which I mentioned above. It was a very ambitious idea and I love what's there, but I will be very surprised and impressed with myself if I manage to pick that thread back up at some point. I don't think I'm really cut out to do game novelization fic.

16. what are your writing strengths?

Economy's probably the biggest one; I know very well that I can get a lot done in a relatively small number of words. I also really enjoy writing dialogue and like to think I'm good at it.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not the kind of person who can spawn wild AUs or plotlines easily, and I often wish that I was. (I don't think I'm bad at plot, but if I'm writing something plotty there is a lot of very deliberate brainstorming and probably workshopping with a friend or two, and it takes a ton of effort.)

Also just, you know, getting words on the page. (It's hard! It's hard! It's really really haaaaard! ~*)

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think anything from a curse word to a short phrase can have a place, but usually find it obnoxious when writers put in whole exchanges in (usually google translated) Other Language.

There was a post going around at some point discussing how bi/multilingual people do and don't mix languages that was very good and valid.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

Labyrinth (1986)

20. favorite fic you've written?

Oof, that's hard. Something, something, can't pick a favorite child.

However, with the caveat that I have a lot of favorites for a lot of reasons, the Goncharov fic I wrote for Yuletide 2023 still pleases me to an outsize degree. Sometimes I think I'm funny.

Tagging @tiggymalvern @stylishanachronism @firebatvillain @xenosimp @pragnificent @softdedue @the-bees-patella @dsudis and anyone else so inclined <3

[eyeofhurakana]

Holy crap... Nearly all the fluff fics hit 100 notes. Wow…

Thanks so much, everyone! Honestly, I’m pretty stunned. I just got back from vacation and this was a very pleasant thing to come back home to. Plus all the comments and reblogs were fantastic to read. XD Ya’ll are a great bunch and I’m happy to be here. 

Soooo it’s that time again~! Response time!  

From Last Week's Responses

@avast-me-alien XD You are so funny. Oh my gosh. And thank you for your words! I’m super happy to hear that my writing helps sate that Sampo Koski Itch. I am delighted to make even more as this game carries on. 

About Tag Lists

@avast-me-alien Absolutely! I will ensure that you are well-fed, fellow Sampo admirer.

@https-jjessica Ahhhhhh... I want to tag you but Tumblr won't let me. What in the world...? And thank you so much for the compliment! *swells with happiness* Now if I can just figure out how to tag you... Do you have another tag that I can use to notify you? (I get the feeling that Tumblr will magically work after this posts, but just in case... if it doesn't tag you, then let me know. I'll do my best to fix it on my end.)

From Chapter 2 of “Bouncing Brings Us All Together”

@mleegi Thank you!! Plus, bless your kind soul for your patience. I am still rehashing the final chapter. I’m so darn picky. I’m sure it’ll come to me soon enough. It’s gotta have the Koski flare before I give it the green light to post. =D

@rebeccawinters I’m so happy to hear that! Ahhhh! I hope the final chapter meets expectations. Thanks so much! 

From Chapter 1 of “Unlike Fiction”

@baby-lisuga I will! I'll make a post for everyone being tagged when I get the chance!

@rebeccawinters Daaaang. The keyboard spazz response is always a great compliment. XD I’m glad you are enjoying him. 

@haliyamori YEAH. I KNOW. I’m the one writing this and even I’M MAD. Tsk tsk, Gepard. TSK TSK.  

From Chapter 2 of “Unlike Fiction”

@lunasun Oh my god. I know, right? I gotta make a mini blurb where the reader just squeezes his exposed hip, catching him by surprise. Oh, and about getting kidnapped… Honestly, any time spent with Sampo is time well spent. Worth it.

As for why the reader isn’t with him anymore… Well, that’ll get explained soon enough. But I’ll be nice and drop a hint. “What does Gepard have that Sampo does not?” If you can answer that, that’s pretty much the reason. 

@hansel-the-pierrot Yessss. I always love hearing these comments. He’s so perfect. This is why I can’t stop writing him. XD UGH. He’s just so much fun. The fact that he’s so easygoing is great.  

@eugeeneshwed No problem! I gladly contribute to the Koski cause and feed my fellow Sampo admirers. Heavens know that ya’ll need it. 

@https-jjessica For real. I was just doing single pulls on the regular warp and was stunned when he came home again. Now he’s eternally in my party. That DoT is no joke. 

@rebeccawinters *spazzes* Ahhhhh! Three comments!!! This is like getting a 5 star in one pull with no pity! Oh my gosh! Thank you!! I’m so glad you like him as well as the fic! It’s such an honor to make people obsessed. XD It truly is. As for having a tag list, I'm working on it and I'll definitely have you added on. I'll make a separate post for it too so everyone can see where they stand on the list. And oh my god, you are such an amazing fan. Being blog-stalked for updates is like... the ultimate compliment. <3 I can't stop feeling so giddy now. Thank you very much for this.

@helloyuki Awww. Of course. I’m glad you liked it. =D

@worriedvision Awwwwww!! Thank you for the endorsement! Whoo! Definitely got a smile out of me.

XD AHHH! I thought the same thing! But that’s what makes him wonderful, eh? Always keepin’ us on our toes. 

Me too. Ugh. This man won’t leave my head. Though I bemoan this with an endearing tone, of course.

Anywho, thanks so much to everyone that commented, reblogged, or even just remembered to poke that little heart button. Seriously, you're all wonderful and I hope that we can all run around HSR's universe with E6 Sampo Koskis.

[blink-blank-bliss]

Hey Blissy your turn. I hear you are: "Neural Nets and Pretty Patterns owned voice actress and pleasure puppet"

Some odd questions for you:

Would you desrcibe yourself as being in a bdsm relationship that uses hypnosis as a tool like a Dom-sub relationship + hypno, Or a Hypno-Domination H-D/s relationship? Just curious how you'd define it - because you seem happy and you guys are still going strong, or is it a Hypno relationship +D/s?

Could you say please what the most important part of the hypnotic relationship is - like the thing that makes the hypnosis most effective for you?

Could you also please say what submission means to you, what are the core components for submission to be happening?

Thank you in advance x x x

Hi Doll! It's always a pleasure to hear from you and I'd be happy to answer your questions, I apologize to any reader who actually plows through this whole thing for what may be a little too much of a glimpse behind the curtain at Actual Me and not the public face of Bliss, but oh well, I don't really get a lot of serious questions and I am delighted that you've asked me, so buckle up here we go.

I don't think I would use any of those terms to describe my relationship with Neural. We are primarily romantic partners and best friends, and we work together to create weird kinky artsy audio porn stuff. He's the creator, but I do a lot behind the scenes to help keep the content coming and I take my job as Cunt Muse seriously. Yes, we have kinky sex and it's fucking great, but it's just a small part of a relationship between equals. He has, however, spent a lot of time inside my mind, as I have in his. It's given our relationship something that I guess I would call ...mental intimacy? haha that sounds gross idfk. But I've never really had this before and can't imagine having it with someone else. The content is a part of it, I love acting and he just writes me the most fun roles to play. haha in the one we are working on now I play the most sadistic nun ever, it's so cathartic, I swear I'm healing generational trauma doing it haha. Getting to explore all of that together is really sexual and really hot but it's not like ... hypnosis. I love having wild kinky trancey scenes with him and he is a wonderful dom, knows how to push my buttons just the right way to take me apart and always makes sure to put me back together after, but it's not as important to me as it is that he has made me laugh every day for over 5 years without fail or that he can write me a part to play in a script that will both highlight my talent and turn me on.

I think the most important part of the hypnotic relationship is trust. I trust him and he trusts me. I know he is committed to being good to me and good for me, as I am for him. He's proven it to me through haha some honestly insane shit storms of life and I know I have proven it to him. And we've been at it long enough that we've seen the proof, both of us are better stronger people than we were before we met. This is what makes us equals, but it's also what makes it possible for him to slide inside my mind like he's coming home and make me into nothing but his. For a time at least.

ok so this is a two-parter. Part 1. What does submission mean to me? So ok I am old. I came out as queer and kinky in a world where to be kinky you had to put on a latex dress and go in person to what they called an "S & M Club". It was terrifying but thrilling. But as far as kink goes, I'm a little jaded at this point. I feel like I've literally seen it all. I've been to at least 50 kink conventions of all varieties. I've taught classes, hosted infamous dungeon parties, demo dollied, bootblacked, partied with all manner of kinky people. but like.... I'm fucking old and I did it already. Now yes, I am still submissive, I am still a masochist, but I just don't have anything left to prove to myself or anyone else about it. Submission has been a part of who I am for more than half my life now, but at this point, it's pretty much just a sex thing for me. I mean yeah I call Neural Owner or Daddy when we play, and yeah it was hot as hell when I asked him to choose my new hair color, but it's for fun and a sex thing. Part 2 is pretty cut and dried. I'm jumping over the safety speech part here and just say that I'm only talking about power exchange that I would consider RACK. But for submission to occur there has to be some kind of agreement that you are going to give up your power to another for a period of time in some agreed upon way. That's what we mean when we talk about consent really. it's what makes healthy power exchange possible, without that it's all various degrees of abuse and codependency and people making each other into less than they are. Gross. I'm also going to answer a question that you didn't ask, but my advice to any submissive but especially those getting into it: -sit down with yourself and really decide what your values are, what your limits are, what your needs are, physically emotionally mentally before you go giving your precious self away to a dom. - Sub frenzy is a thing, it's crazy, I've been there, but it is Not Real and it will fade, take your time in establishing relationships and making commitments no matter how hot the scenes are. -No matter how much you worship them, your doms will remain human. Humans have limits on their time and their energy. Humans are not all-knowing. Humans get sick. Humans make mistakes. Don't put divinity level expectations on your human partner. It's a set up, no one can live up to it.

[chocochipbiscuit]

Fanfic Author Self-Recs!

@ziskandra tagged me to rec five of my own fanfics, and I am utterly delighted! Thank you, friendo!

I’m tagging @meikuree, @deacons-wig, @anneapocalypse, @fireferns and @bittylildragon if you are so inclined!

Fallout is my first fandom and will forever have a piece of my heart, but Dragon Age has made a good showing as well. Mostly due to exchanges. :D I find that I don’t really have a huge monofandom intensity anymore (....or maybe just not for now? *awkward laugh*) so I’m going to fan my interests like a peacock’s tail!

1) The Knit of Flesh and Bone (Cait/Curie) - Fallout 4 - This is top of my mind lately because I was fortunate enough to get some very nice comments about it! It’s very much a love letter for Cait and what I think her companion quest should have been, as well as exploring Cait and Curie’s dynamics as friends and lovers. Plus reading it again reminds me of how much I’ve consciously shifted my style over time; trying to vary word patterns and cadence, as well as balance between lyricism and something that felt authentic and true to the characters.

I’m a softie at heart; I crave romance and happy endings, but don’t often enjoy fluff because I want the characters to have some hurt first, to balance out the promised sweetness. It's healing and optimistic and about recovering from trauma and finding the trust to build new relationships.

2) breath (and all the ways of holding) (Leliana/Morrigan) - Dragon Age - This is one of my faves because not only did I get to write one of my very first Dragon Age ships, but it was also the first fic that I had the pleasure of being thoroughly critiqued by @fireferns!!! It was daunting and terrifying and at some point I will screw up my courage to ask for another beta, I’m sure! ;)

It’s also one of the few fics I can remember exactly where I was, when I was writing the first draft: sick in bed from a nasty flu, right after moving with my partner at the time. I called sick from work for a week, was feverish and sweating in bed but unable to sleep during the middle of the day, and scribbling in a battered notebook in paragraphs at a time. It was incredibly disjointed, moving more on ~vibes~ and images as they came to me, and it wasn’t until after I recovered and starting typing it out (and basically reshuffling a lot of the scenes) that I really got the structure down. Writing that first draft was weird and dreamy and disconnected, almost like another person wrote it; revisions, on the other hand, were completely and 100% my own, especially with @fireferns offering sharp feedback that made me question a lot of my narrative and stylistic choices and pushing me to grow as a writer. Without her, it would have been twice as long and half as good. <3

One of the things I love about the Leliana/Morrigan dynamic is their entanglement; they are hardly friends in Origins, but by Inquisition they’ve had three games (ten years) worth of history between them, and have both shifted and grown over that time. Leliana is much more sweetly deceptive in Origins than she first lets on, and Morrigan is much more raw and inexperienced than she likes to admit, and part of their journey is learning where they hold similarities. They’re one of each other’s few constants in a world that’s constantly changing.

3) never gonna say I’m sorry (Amara/Tyreen) - Borderlands 3 - This was my first foray into writing villain fic!!! Tyreen is an unrepentant gremlin and it’s not intended as a redemption arc, but I wanted to write something where Tyreen could join the Raiders, smooch Amara, and stay somewhat in-character to the game. I love women, both heroes and villains, and I love the inherent tension of an enemies to lovers arc.

Plus I love a story that explicitly points out that death (or martyrdom) is not the same as redemption, and that it can be harder to make amends and live with the consequences of your actions. The two different endings (one where Tyreen kills Troy, one where she spares him) are really about Tyreen making different choices in her emotional journey. I originally conceived of it ending with her killing Troy, then utterly disappointed that killing him didn’t give her immediate catharsis or any kind of emotional revelation. It was meant to show that despite the fact she had been offered a second chance, she wasn’t ready to offer that same second chance to someone else.

But then talking with @bittylildragon about how Troy could just as easily have been the hero of this fic (if Tyreen had abandoned him instead, then Troy could have had a similar growth arc) made me think about if Troy didn’t die, if Tyreen decided to spare him and show that yes, she’s trying to become a better person…and is still disappointed that there’s no emotional closure, that she doesn’t actually feel like a good person and he still flinches away from her when she reaches out.

Still. After much thought (and keeping in mind that I’m a softie who wants happy endings for everyone), I have decided that I actually prefer the ending where Tyreen spares Troy. They’re still utterly dysfunctional, but at least they have a chance at fixing things between them.

4) soap, spit, and sweetness (Avad/Erend) - Horizon Zero Dawn - This was an extremely simple outline (5+1 things!) but I am very proud of it because I love this tiny rarepair and also it was really fun to try and write through Erend’s POV, balancing between lyricism (and just how ~pretty~ or poetic I want things to sound) and his own way of viewing the world. This meant doing some minor worldbuilding and looking at metaphors or similes rooted in smithing and metalwork, like so many of their figures of speech.

I am also realizing that this is my only non-F/F fic rec on the list, so take it as you will. :’)

5) Fireflies (Maru/Penny) - Stardew Valley - This is a tender and achey and meant to wrap people up in a warm bubblebath of feels, just the way the game itself makes me feel. I realize that the game itself is pretty limited when it comes to showing the history and friendships between the townspeople, but…Maru and Penny are canonically friends! And I love a good friends to lovers arc!

I adore this ship and love the fanon of Penny being trans, so it made sense to write Penny as being trans. @bittylildragon was an incredible help, both by being an amazing beta (catching my garbled sentences and maladroit phrases!) and with pushing me to consider Penny being trans with more than a ‘yes, Penny is trans’ disclaimer and a few references. I didn’t want to write too much about experiences that weren’t really mine to write about, but in doing so, it also created a different type of erasure, one that was bland and inauthentic.

I love women, and that includes trans women. So I want to get better at writing trans women. This isn’t the first fic I’ve written with a trans female character, and it won’t be the last. So I need to keep getting better.

If you’ve read this far: hopefully some of my rambling was interesting!

[eureka-its-zico]

Hi, I'm back with another essay 😂

I've had a busy week at work and I thank the heavens it is Friday because I need to just sit and stare at a wall for a while and decompress 😂 Also, my week's been fully thrown off since Monday as I did not sleep at all that night so I've been all over the place. HOWEVER, it's been a fairly alright week!

I thought I'd send in an ask to mainly talk video games because Dragon Age, ME AND Baldur's Gate? Especially ME?! I don't get to talk about ME enough!

Okay, so I have to admit that for most of the game, my party was Shadowheart, Karlach and the gith chick, Lae'zel, that you don't like 😂 And I have to admit that at first I was on the fence about her, but she quickly grew on me and even more so as the story progressed. Larian Studios gave each of their characters a great background and amazing personalities. And majority of them have great character progression as the game progresses, imo! (there's some things that happen in that game that I cannot comment about yet, but honestly, Larian Studios are creative geniuses lol)

In regards to Lae'zel, I will definitely want to hear more of your thoughts as you progress through the game!

Also, I cackled at the fact you restarted the game because you found out you missed Gale! 😂 I have to admit though - I would absolutely do the same! Let me know what you decide on him, because I went through the whole game and my opinion about him didn't change 😂

How are you finding the game so far? What do you think of the story and the characters you encountered? Both, the characters you can have in your party and NPC's? Have you tried to speak with any animals yet? 😂

Coming up to Dragon Age and Mass Effect… It's been years since I touched a Dragon Age game, but I remember the first and second games fondly. But Mass Effect… Oh boy, haha. I played the games… I don't even know how many times. ME2 still to this day holds a special part in my heart so when they announced an ME Legendary Edition with all three games reworked, all shiny and pretty?? You bet I got them and played through all three games :D And it felt like playing them for the first time again. Also, Garrus? Yes, please!

Have to admit, I was disappointed at the ending on ME3, both because of the ending they gave Commander Shepard and also because the ending that they originally came out with was… a flop and unsatisfying, though they gave longer endings after a patch because of fan disappointment. And I will forever think that the "secret ending" of Commander Shepard's N7 logo in those ruins actually means they aren't dead (there should also be a new ME game???! And they showed Liara in the trailer??!).

The universe that ME has, with the story and characters is just absolutely mind blowing and those games are beautiful ❤ And personally, I look for games that have a rich and deep story so the fact that we are talking about DA, ME and Baldur's Gate right now? My heart is singing and I am just all warm and happy haha

Another one of my favourites is Witcher 3. AND it was a fave before Henry Cavill became a live action Geralt 😂 I spent a lot of hours on that game... One could even say too many, but if anyone does - they're wrong 😂

But of course, I have to take a moment and scream about "Violent Delights", because excuse me? Where has Enishi Yukishiro been and why have I not seen him?? 👀 I know what I'm watching over the weekend lol I need to find time to go through your whole master list because your writing is like nourishment and it does unexplainable things to me!

And that sneak peek for chapter 7..? Oh fuck. These two petty fools will be the end of me 😂

On a personal note, thank you for your kind words in your reply. I appreciate you for taking the time to reply and share your lovely words with me because they mean a lot ❤

I hope your week has been great, Jenn! And I hope you will have a lovely, restful weekend! Sending you lots of virtual hugs! ❤

Okay so I KNOW you just sent me a brand new ask but I need to answer this one first! I am so sorry it took me so long to reply 😩

How have your weeks been going? It’s been a while since we’ve checked in with one another! I sincerely hope that no technology has been acting up and that your days have been peaceful and content 🖤

DID YOU BY CHANCE WATCH RUROUNI KENSHIN: THE FINAL WITH ENISHI YUKISHIRO?!!??? I legit wrote that thinking it would get him out of my system but it actually did not lol and I’m already just planning on continuing it but it’s just going to be filth. Pure smutty filth and I refuse to apologize 🤣🤣

Right now Karlach is still currently my fav! Her character is just so FUN. She has such a good attitude, and she is definitely the type of person I would want in a real-life crew. I’m torn on the love interest part of it because like…so far I like none of them lol. Astarion is in the lead, but barely, just because he’s a vampire and I’m a whore for love bites 😈 lol but I have noticed that he does have these soft moments through the indifference he conveys. He’s just different from who I usually pick in games. Although, in Cyberpunk I picked Judy but if I could’ve picked Johnny (absolutely LOVE Keanu) I would’ve lol. I love broody men.

I agree with you on ME3!! I’m so glad they went back and added more to it. I think it allowed a lot of us to get the closer we needed when it came to our Commander Shepherds. And yeah, if you chose the destroy option, they hinted that he/she was still alive, but I could never choose that one. I’m such a paragon lol I wanted everyone to get along and if my character had to sacrifice herself to do it, I did it every time (I can’t do that to Eve) 😩😩 except the one time to see if the destroy ending was worth it. I won’t hold my breath about the new DA and ME trailers they showcased a couple years ago, because Andromeda was not a fav lol. I think trying to bring in a new character to take over for shepherd is going to be incredibly hard, but I am interested to see if the continue with the storyline of inquisition for DA!

Baldur’s Gate 3 is just such a breathe of fresh air because I’m such a whore for a good storyline. I LOVE them. It makes it so much more immersive and makes you care about the outcomes of those in your party and your character. Witcher 3 was sooooo good at that too!

I’m still waiting to replay Cyberpunk 2077 from the beginning because of the Sons of Liberty DLC. I’ve heard amazing things about it, and I’m hyped but I got 2 weeks left of Uni work and then I graduate and I’m DONE! I’m so ready lol 🤣🤣

Thank you for always being such an absolute joy to talk to and for the essays lol. For being one of the sweetest humans alive. I hope your weekend is treating you well 🖤🖤 much love

[lost-act]

I don’t really know what to blog about because nothing eventful is happening other than a headache

Curiously speaking, I still don’t understand how tumblr works or how to get activity on here. Though I could as much say that I’ve ran my luck when it comes to ventures I really want to go through. I don’t really bother much with it because my writing is mere madness. Yet I hope someone out there can understand at my madness and laugh at it.

It’s pretty hard to comprehend things when your mind is stuck focusing on surviving rather than living. I really find that living part difficult because you’re so used to trying so hard to survive that living is like relearning everything all over again. It’s relatively hard as well if you’re so used to expecting the worst out of everything that looking at yourself you realize you’re a hot mess. Like— hot in a bad way not hot as in “damn bish you look slay today” (or something along those lines) and more of “damn bish you live like this?”

Look, when you have a mental breakdown after mass while still in church (btw that breakdown is NOT related to anything church related. I just ended up breaking down all of a sudden mostly because I do not have a stable and/or healthy support system) shit really gets to you. I don’t know how but at one moment you’re happy and next thing you know your entire week is a living nightmare. Yet again I don’t know how to explain it but best I could say is that my fingers are peeling and I am suffering intense hair loss despite not being in my 80s. Next thing you know your entire body hormones start being lil shits and then you realize how you hate being unwillingly subscribed to a natural biological occurrence that literally is another equivalence to flawed biological engineering made by G O D. None of this is delightful and I’d rather not be waking up to another fucking headache.

Huh…my fingers peeling has gotten worse. Lol I just looked at the situation of one of my thumbs and it looks like it’s screaming in horror. Me too, buddy, me too. I won’t lie, my fingers have never peeled this bad until the final semester of year 1. I mean— this…oddity has happened before but then it stopped for a couple of years and then came back to torment the hell out of me now. Maybe it’s dehydration but gods only know because those past few years I was not a hydrated plant at all.

I’ve also managed to finish my first zine so that’s that. I’ll probably make more zines in the future because they’re p fun to make. Though there’s one zine I’m making that I’m putting a lot of effort into because it involves birds and I can’t afford to fuck that one up. I’m not entirely sure if I can sell the photos I took of em considering I’m an amateur bird photographer, but maybe drawing them instead would be better because I really find the lil guys interesting.

Huh…would you look at that? Another idea for me to write. Is it definitely heavily referencing Honkai: Star Rail’s Sunday? Very much so because the lil shit grew on to me as a call out. Except I’m spiraling down into my own insanity and struggling to fly after being caged for so long.

Back to studying I guess…

[lyratums]

emukasa detective au rambles part 2?

(self indulgent word vomit, not recommended to read)

it's one of those nights where i need somewhere to dump my au. what's a linear, consistent plot? (sorry i like writing in scrambled fragments and somehow piecing the timeline together). this is just the introduction. nothing interesting happens. dont bother.

i wrote about emukasa basic profiles in another post i hope. for job context, emu is a lady from a rich, noble family (unemployed). tsukasa is a detective currently working independently under a small firm (shiraishi's). his only other co-workers are an and akito. rui is an inspector that works at a professional agency "arc" (haha get it "arcland".. no? okay.), which functions as the "scotland yard" of this universe. tsukasa used to work with rui at "arc", but that's not too relevant right now.. just needed to add why rui and tsukasa know each other (i dont think anyone is even mentioned in the beginning aside from emukasa). they all have backstories and such but idk im not dumping that here rn. the entire prsk cast is also in this story with roles, but maybe profile dump another time. i still have to write proper detailed profiles for emukasa too.

as for setting: no strong historical accuracy, but its like 1920s to 1930s era in a fictional world that is supposed to be earth but not 100% true so that i dont have to care about world history and realism. yay. aesthetic wise, very sherlock holmes esque if ykyk.

their initial encounter began after emu's precious jewel was stolen by a mysterious phantom thief, right from her estate. this rose quartz was a special gem to her, as it was the last thing her grandpa gifted her before he passed away. she was determined to get it back no matter what. she couldn't do it alone though, so she sought out a detective. she recalled an amazing detective she heard about from her brothers, someone from "arc" that helped solved an "impossible" case for them: tsukasa tenma. when she arrived at arc, she discovered that he was unfortunately no longer working there... but there was a gut feeling that she had to consult HIM specifically for this case... so she asked around and fortunately discovered that he's still an active detective, just under a different agency.

insert the shoujo love bubbles when their eyes met for the first time. anyways, tsukasa was initially surprised at how a high standing noble like emu decided to approach him, a small, "humble" (/s) detective. he was hesitant to take this case despite piquing his interest (his love for the strange and "impossible" cases) since he hasnt taken a large case of this size in a long time. however, with some sweet talk from emu ("but youre the AMAZING star detective right?" *sparkly eyes*), he agreed to take the case. before they start, he needed to finish the other case he took today: a missing dog. to his shock, emu decides to help him solve it ("no, you really don't have to-" "I'D LOVE TO HELP!! :D"). emu's now dragged into the case, much to tsukasa's initial annoyance ("i don't need help. i am a star detective!")

the case was relatively simple: ms. hanasato needed to find her beloved samoyed dog "samo-chan". this dog ran off from her yesterday and she has been distraught since. there were very few clues to work with: a broken leash, the general area where minori lived, and the last location he was seen (her house, with an opened front door). with some brainstorming and deduction together (which went well.. tsukasa and emu built off of each other's ideas fluidly), emu came to a seemingly wild conclusion ("what if he's over here?" *points to a completely different section of the map*). tsukasa had his doubts ("wait, wouldnt it make more sense to search the general area of her residence first?!"), but decided to go along with her (he had no choice). to his surprise and emu's delight, samo-chan was found in an entirely different part of town at the deli.

with a happy owner and a lost dog returned, they can now start the case. they mutually agreed to work together to solve emu's case, after their surprisingly successful teamwork today (*insert tackle hug here*). a new partnership formed today!! a formidable bond! the start of their mutual pining!!

sorry beginning of the story is slow/generic, but i needed a logical way for them to meet and for exposition purposes (this is where you're supposed to learn about the characters and setting and such if this were formatted into a proper storyline). of course their first interactions included, but not limited to, silly banter, witty lines, straight man and wise guy dynamic, and their fun personalities displayed. it's like emukasa's first encounter in main story (sort of) combined with how holmes/watson's first encounter went. its just emukasa's dynamic but in a detective partnership!!! if i had the energy to write the dialogue it would be more obvious.

detective skill stuff:

tsukasa has a more conventional (but somewhat unconventional in the eyes of a normal person) way of solving things than emu. he has great deduction, strong analysis, and deep/vast knowledge. he's very observant of the world around him and notices the small things (about people, settings, etc) that are often not considered. his connections with the community from his many cases and networking are really helpful when he needs resources, information, etc. there are perks to being an outgoing, friendly talkative, bold, [whatever extrovert words i can insert] person. when needed, he's amazing at acting and disguises (in another universe, he would be a star...). despite being a talented detective with a strong skillset, tsukasa isnt perfect and has his weaknesses (sometimes rash, letting his emotions take over logic, etc).

emu's detective style is highly inspired by this sherlock holmes quote: "when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth". its based on her great imagination, and how creative she is. emu basically fills in the gaps that tsukasa tends to overlook and notices what tsukasa is unable to see. this also leads to some wild/crazy ideas and guesses... her special skill is her emotional intelligence, such as being able to see through people's lies when it comes to questioning. great eyesight and hearing too. she has strong physical skills, which is useful in most cases!... she is also the one who wields the gun in most situations.

their first impressions of each other after this dog case:

tsukasa (about emu): thought she's crazy, but not to be underestimated and has great potential (impressed). found some annoyance with her "emu language" and her strong personality. currently wondering if he made a mistake taking this case, fearful for what his future with her holds (LOL). he's excited to finally take an interesting case again though, with an interesting partner.

(spoiler: he takes longer to fall for emu, but he certainly fell harder).

emu (about tsukasa): absolutely smitten... he was amazing as a detective and it was obvious that he had lots of experience to get to his skill level. somewhat strange and eccentric but he was entertaining for sure. she hasnt had this much fun in a long time, which was a nice change to her comfortable, predictable life. she was grateful that he was the reason why she was able to smile today after being upset over her missing jewel. she couldnt wait to see him again!!

(love at first sight. it was over as soon as she walked in that door).

THE FUN PART IS THE REAL CASE!!! they also get dragged into side cases along the way (unintentionally. what amazing luck /s). theres the romance sideplot: slowburn as the case progresses. ALL OF THIS IS... in my head. when will i get the chance to write it out? in the future, but im known to lack motivation unless its a random burst of energy at 3 AM like right now.

sorry i hope no one read all of this because its pure, unformatted word garbage.

[pastelaspirations]

Okay, I... I don't know what, I can't- W a i t, o k a y. I'm not even screaming right now or. Even in the process of losing my mind. I have already lost it. It's gone. My mind has left me, a shell of a person, as I ascend into the heavens as I am essentially dead in all manners but physical.

Would even saying "I'm not okay" be accurate to my situation??? It would be more akin to holding up a severed arm at the scene of a car crash, giving a skeptical look to said car crash, then addressing every horrified and disturbed individual that you, in your professional opinion, think that the person who used to own the severed arm is in fact, not okay.

Can I. Come back maybe. Reblog this when I have found my lost mind somewhere and can be more coherent.

O k a y. How do I. Even express what I feel right now.

My heart is in shambles. Utterly d e s t r o y e d, I tell you. I don't think there is a way I will ever possibly recover from this.

We laugh and we laugh at my lighthearted jokes of me crying over fan art. And while I was over the moon, delighted beyond the words that I so poorly tried to use and express the absolute joy I felt, I wasn't actually crying. Of course, there were times I came c l o s e, just from the sheer overwhelming joy that my tiny heart is not accustomed to feeling, but I usually was able to contain myself. The happiness cancelled out the tears that would have fallen. I'm sure this isn't a surprise, very often things said in full capital letters and repeated instances of the same letter at the end of words are said in hyperbole.

T h a t s a i d. I did actually cry from this. I promise, I am telling the full truth right now. To make matters brief, I had a very rough awakening due to an emergency and I had been stressed the majority of the day. S o, uh, I suppose that weakened the usually fortified walls I have up that prevent me from actually crying at things.

I don't know why, man. I'm just. So overwhelmed with so many emotions, I can't. ALL THE EMOTIONS YOU INFLICTED WITH THIS ARE ALL GOOD, I SWEAR, THEY'RE JUST. INCREDIBLY POTENT AND POWERFUL WHEN USED AGAINST A WEAK HEART.

I know how incredibly difficult animation is, even if I haven't attempted it myself yet. It takes so much practice and patience, and there are many who give up before they become better at it because of the unforgiving amount of time and perseverance it takes. So, that may be partly why I am so incredibly honored and humbled to have someone do all that for a story I made.

It just means so much, I don't know how else to express it. Never, in a million years, did I think when I created this fic three years ago, that I would be getting fan art, let a l o n e fan animations. If you were to tell me that three years ago, I would have looked at you like you had lost your mind.

That's what I wanted to do when I first started writing. I thought that if I inspired someone else with a little story that I created, then it would be worth it. ;_; So, to see all these incredibly talented people like you be so inspired to create something new means the world to me. It's just so incredibly flattering and overwhelming that it is over a story that I made. <3

OKAY, I'M SORRY FOR ALL THAT, I JUST. I'm so moved and touched and I'm not sure if I can even express how exactly I feel in words, but I tried. I promise, I will love this until the end of time and it means the absolute world to me <3 <3 ;_; ;_;

their first meeting . Based on the fanfiction "Perseverance" by: @pastelaspirations

[bbq-hawks-wings]

BBQ rambledumps for the first time in a while. Been running D&D.

What's up, my beautiful fellow clowns, how we doing today? I just logged in on desktop mode and saw a new message in my inbox only to discover it's a porn bot and they're sending videos AND strange URLs directly now. YAY!

Thank God, blurring content from users who don't follow you was an actual improvements made to this hellsite after years of fumbling features. Progress is progress.

Anyway, I originally came here intending to write about my Fodlan D&D campaign because I'm due to show some actual creative capacity here for once and prove I haven't completely gelatinized into a lump of depression and exhaustion. So yeah, more nonsense under the cut.

Nice, the icons have been switched around a bit - they're a little easier to read now.

SO! I wanted to two-fold introduce the campaign setting and talk about my players/characters - whom I will be referring to by their characters' names exclusively (except maybe Atlas) - because I'm actually having a blast with it all, and maybe some of you will appreciate the various eccentricities of this gaggle at my table, too.

First, the setting:

I...

LOVE.

FODLAN.

Idegaf about Fire Emblem as a larger franchise or series - this PARTICULAR story is EXACTLY the kind of thing that makes all the happy chemicals in my brain go brrrrrrrrr.

There's drama, political intrigue, romance, deep lore, references to various real-world myths, references to various real-world PEOPLE, repeating thematic motifs, a complex and nuanced look at conflict and war, a complex and nuanced look at religion and history, AND THE OUTFITS ARE SPECTACULAR?!?!?!

And if I kept thinking about it we'd be here all day.

One of the hardest things for me as a very n00b DM is that I know most of the power of the game and enjoyment for my players comes from the world they exist and play in. If I don't have a good grasp of how all the strategic pieces fit together across the map, how am I going to let my players roam and interact with it like it's always been their own idea and not me actually scrambling to slap something together that's satisfying for them while also not completely toppling my campaign?

And here I have not only this entire RPG I adore and already want to know like the back of my hand, that has characters that I delight in mimicking and writing for, that has nearly all the wiki knowledge I could ask for, but I also have the PERFECT excuse to write my Golden Route and let all my little chess pieces live happily ever after somewhere, AND there's a campaign setting already made for 5e!

Is the DM set up to have a good time?

Yes

Absolutely

With my setting chosen, I now had to figure out the various big plot flags to hit that would put it on course for the ending I want. Some big considerations I particularly kept in mind included:

Edelgard MUST start the conflict. There is never a scenario in this multiverse (according to canon obv) where she does not strike first because it's in her character to strike first for both her own survival as well as to protect those she's taken charge of. The second she thinks she has what it takes to confidently take her next move before her opponent the plot lurches forward full speed. This is what predominately sets her apart from Claude who is quite similar about the lengths he's willing to go to win but he's typically much more reactionary while Edel is aggressively preemptive.

If I don't want Edelgard to have all of Fodlan immediately in a standoff for survival that just looks like the other games with the other nations because of the complications that TWSITD throw into the plot, the truth of the Nabataen race HAS to come to light to her before anyone else. That means that she has to know BEFORE she retakes the Empire for her own regime. This means a BIG MESS for the Church of Seiros to deal with start-to-finish over the course of the campaign.

Going along with the previous point, once the true nature of the Church, the Children of the Goddess, and just what ACTUAL Fodlan history is (and remember, Edel hates these people pretending they're divine when they're clearly not, she is NOT putting up with that nonsense), Faerghus is going to be PISSED even if there's complicated feelings about how the nobility came to be, and Claude's scheming will get kicked into overdrive. There's no way I can't see it happening. Even if the Nabateans have FULL support and protection of Edelgard (which they will sooner than later) the bloody history between them and the nobility of the Kingdom will reach a crescendo and the Nabateans will have a LOT to answer for regarding their involvement in Fodlan history.

Where I want it to end is for all of them to overcome Thales and TWSITD with the help of Shez and Byleth. As a result, Sothis will be fully revived, she'll reward and bestow special blessings to the entire cast, and then she'll ascend into the heavens once again - but this time taking her hand of protection off of the world, opening the setting up to "D&D proper" so the players can keep playing in the sandbox they've grown attached to if they want, but they get way more stuff to play with now and we can actually use the core books for more than just basic rules YAY!

With that all set up in the back of our heads, let's introduce our players - all of whom besides Atlas is completely blind to the original plot (MWUAHAHAHAHAHA):

Umbrae: A knight from the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus, Umbrae's father was one of the the victims of the Tragedy of Duscur. Discontent with the ambiguous non-answers that have been found regarding the massacre, Umbrae is on a mission to discover the truth of what happened and why - no matter what sordid secrets may be revealed in the process - so that the chapter of anguish and uncertainty for the nation can come to a close and healing can properly begin.

Godfrey: Originally from the Adrestian Empire, Godfrey was an aimless wandering sell-sword until he met the love of his life, Josephine - a monk of the Church of Seiros whose tender kindness brought light and hope into the lives of those she touched. She joined him with his platoon of fighters during the outbreak of plague in the Kingdom to treat the sick and afflicted along the way; but no good deed goes unpunished. While Godfrey and his men were called away to respond to news of a threat, the camp was attacked by those who feared their involvement was spreading the sickness. Godfrey returned too late to save his wife and unborn child and has since sworn an oath to the Knights of Seiros, now once again aimless in his purpose with nowhere to place his grief and anger except upon the heads of the wicked with the edge of his sword.

Booferd: A lowly thief from the Adrestrian Empire - there's not a lot to Booferd yet because he's only been to the first session and has been stuck studying to keep his GPA up. He's fantastic at this game, though, and I'll make sure he gets the chance to have a great time whenever he can play. He called Balthus "ball-face" in RP and he's going to get inspiration points for that.

Atlas: Hailing from the far-off land of Morfis, Atlas is an escaped experiment victim of TWSITD on a mission to save his fellow victims still trapped back at the lab and wipe the scourge of the Agarthans off the face of the earth. Unlike the Fodlan branches of the Agarthans, this base in Morfis raised humans like lab rats a la The Promised Neverland to simulate and study various conditions and outcomes their human experiments underwent. Atlas, an exceptional subject, escaped and eventually found his way to the docks of Adrestia where Hubert found him - seemingly incomprehensible and insane at first but then deceptively brilliant upon patient inspection. Hubert secretly scooped him off the street before he made more ruckus, cleaned him up and trained him, and then planted the unnerving foreigner into Garreg Mach as his personal mole (because Rhea loves picking up strays) - seemingly unconnected in every way while funneling information, secrets, and the nifty little gadgets he makes to the young man and his emperor who promise him a proper payment for his services.

This post is getting long and I need to get the kids up from their nap. I have more, especially since we're about 4 sessions in, so I'll probably make a new post soon. Feel free to send any ideas on how to tag this.

[mcrcki]

@mvsicinthedvrk​ said :  im so glad you have a submit box so i didn't have to figure out how to break this into 47 parts

maig, it’s so rude that your message to me came through my inbox at the very moment that i went to start writing yours, because now i’m trying really hard not to be emotional about it! so rude! i had to pause in writing this and go do something else so i wouldn’t just sit here and feel overwhelmed with gratitude. buckle in, this is going to be a long message for literally no good reason except that i have a lot to say. 

it’s wild to think that in the month of may it’ll be mark my 1-year of being on your team. once i got picked as a new admin, i had to read that dm a million times because i was sure it was wrong, but i was so excited to start helping out! and when i got invited to the admin discord, i was a little apprehensive, just because 1) i wanted to do a good job and make you all proud and 2) i was nervous about coming into a situation and being the new cog in the wheel when all of you were already so close. (especially because after a certain point the only “new” admins were me and cherry, and cherry didn’t count as new because they’d been in your d&d campaign and friends with you all the whole time, haha.) my nervousness was probably evident in my silence in the non-work chats for so long, lol. but EVERYONE was friendly right away and i really shouldn’t have been nervous at all. getting invited to jackbox game nights is still always one of my favorite things, and the first few times that happened i finally started to feel like, ok it’s fine, i’m not intruding on a pre-established group of friends, these people do actually like spending time with me and aren’t just inviting me to be nice about it :’) and in general, basically what you said in your positivity message to me about me feeling more confident now is really true, and that’s definitely due to all of your guidance and your endless patience. i am slowly distancing myself from feeling like i have to ride on admin training wheels, though i know that when i inevitably do have questions, i can still come right to you all because you’ll be happy to help me figure out whatever it is i’m confused about. SO i suppose what i want to say is just-- thank you for believing in me, and for trusting me to help make decisions. and for appreciating my contributions, too! when you and sunny came to talk to me about your concern that i felt overloaded by monitoring the inbox so often, that was really sweet and kind of you and i hope you believe me when i say that i do really enjoy it and i’m not stressed about it at all. i truly like doing it and i’m thankful that you all let me keep doing so, haha. 

all that admin stuff aside, i also have to acknowledge that i still love writing with you!!! i’m so pleased that xie lian and sophie are friends, you are correct in saying that yuri and omega are TOO funny no matter the circumstance, and i love interacting with marlene and rowena too with whichever of my characters we can manage to throw together with meme starters. your blog always has THE prettiest themes, and i always look forward to seeing what you’ll come up with for your event photo edits and tasks because the visuals?? incredible. that goes for everything you’ve ever edited and made for the main as well. your reply spam is consistently delightful and whenever i see you start to hit the like on a bunch of our replies i think “oh no i’m in danger” but i also, happily, have something to look forward to, knowing that i’ll get those replies back sooner than i am probably prepared for, haha. and on a completely unrelated note, i love your dog, so please send her my love.

this doesn’t even get INTO how appreciative i am of you being a head admin and keeping this whole rp running for half a decade, but if i start telling you grateful i am for that, this message will never end. so, to conclude, please simply take my undying support and gratitude and love and know that i feel really lucky to have gotten to know you! you’re my favorite boss :’) but more importantly, you are a friend. fuck, now I’M almost crying. okay that’s all! much love, sincerely, ollie.

hidden positivity day || happy 5 years !!

OLLIE WHAT THE HECK !!!!!!!!! this is so nice , so sweet i just lkgjdfklg im gonna scream. imma go give lita a hug just for you pls know that i just love you a lot, i am so beyond proud of you and i just hope that we can continue to grow as friends, and kgfdjgfld pls i just love you a lot pls know that ♥