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fear-less · 1 day ago

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₊˚⊹˚ 𐙚 she ignored my letter!

pairing: james potter x f!reader

➥ In which, James writes you a love letter and hides it into your luggage carrying your clothes, not knowing he put it in a pocket you never open.

Warnings: angst, fluff, james pov, this inspired by awae (aka the best show ever)

a/n: heyyy... i had sm fun writing this, can't wait to write the rest of this bc i literally LOVE anne with an e and this is inspired by it ofc!!!! anyways, im barely writing now..smh, its cause im reading manacled and its literally heart breaking... im also editing on ae and its so hard so im slowly learning😭 but i want to finish this mini series by next week!!

series masterlist ! - divider creds: i-mmaculatus & dollywons

James had liked you for a while now. He wasn’t quite sure when it started—maybe it was the way you laughed at his jokes, always the loudest in the room. Or perhaps it was when he’d catch you staring at him, your gaze lingering just a bit too long, thinking he was too distracted to notice.

With the Christmas holidays fast approaching, James knew he had to make a move. He had to let you know how he felt. If you didn’t feel the same, maybe the time apart over the holiday would make it less awkward. But he couldn’t let another term slip by in silence.

Knowing your love for all things old-fashioned, James decided there was no better way to confess his feelings than through a handwritten letter. It felt personal, genuine—something you’d appreciate. But writing it turned out to be harder than he imagined.

He’d written and discarded at least a dozen drafts, each one crumpled and tossed aside in frustration. Finally, after half an hour of agonizing over the perfect words, he settled on this version. It was short, straightforward, and sincere:

Dear, (Y/N)

I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a complete idiot. I’ve tried a hundred times, and every single attempt has been worse than the last. So here’s the truth—I’m hopelessly in love with you.

You’ve probably guessed I’m not great at being subtle. But what I’ve never been able to say outright is how much you mean to me. The way you laugh, the way your nose scrunches when you’re concentrating—Merlin, you make it impossible to focus on anything else. I want you to know that you’ve made me braver, happier, better. If you don’t feel the same, that’s okay—I just needed to get this off my chest.

Yours, James

He sighed deeply, folding the letter carefully before slipping it into an envelope. Your name was written on the front in his slightly shaky handwriting. Taking a steadying breath, he tucked it into the inside pocket of his robes. He’d leave it somewhere you’d find it tomorrow, just before you both left for the holidays.

As he lay awake that night, James tried to figure out the best way to deliver the letter. Should he hand it to you directly? No, that was too nerve-wracking—he’d probably end up babbling like an idiot. Maybe he could slip it into your bag and avoid the risk of witnessing your reaction.

The morning was crisp, the kind of cold that painted your cheeks red and sent little clouds of breath swirling in the air. On the platform, the train sat waiting, puffing out plumes of steam that mingled with the frosty air. It was alive with the sound of students saying goodbye and dragging their luggage over the cobblestones.

James walked beside you, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. He was doing his best to appear casual, though every step he took felt heavier with the weight of the letter in his robe.

“Let me take that for you,” he blurted suddenly, nodding toward your luggage.

You blinked, surprised by the offer, but your lips curved into a warm smile. “Oh, thanks, James. That’s really sweet of you.”

He shrugged, trying to play it cool, but his ears turned a telltale shade of pink at your words. “What kind of bloke would I be if I didn’t help you out?” he mumbled, his voice tinged with nervous humor.

The two of you chatted as you strolled toward the train. You told him about your plans for the holidays—how you were excited to see your family, how your mum always made far too much food, and how you couldn’t wait to decorate the tree. James listened intently, nodding and laughing at all the right moments, even as his mind raced ahead to the task at hand.

Then, his opportunity came.

You turned away for a brief moment, waving at one of your friends across the platform. James acted quickly, pulling the envelope from his pocket and slipping it into the outermost compartment of your bag. His fingers brushed the fabric for only a second, but it felt like an eternity.

His heart was hammering so loudly he was certain it could be heard over the clamor of the platform. He straightened up just as you turned back to him, completely oblivious to what had just transpired.

“Thanks again for carrying that,” you said with a smile, your eyes meeting his.

James gave a small, lopsided grin and shifted your bag on his shoulder. “Anytime,” he replied, his voice steady despite the storm of nerves swirling inside him.

As the train’s whistle blew, signaling it was time to board, James knew there was no turning back now. All he could do was wait—and hope that when you found the letter, you’d read it and understand the words that had taken him so long to say.

It had been days since you’d left for the holidays, and James still hadn’t heard from you. Each passing day only worsened the sinking feeling in his chest.

Did you not feel the same? Did you hate him for ruining the friendship? Or worse, were you so disgusted by his confession that you couldn’t even bear to send him a letter saying so?

By Christmas morning, the knot of worry in James’s stomach had become unbearable. He’d stopped pacing and pretending not to care. He spent the early hours staring at the window, waiting for an owl that seemed as though it would never come.

But then, just as the first rays of sunlight streamed through his frosted window, he saw it—a familiar owl perched outside, clutching a small envelope in its talons. His heart leapt with a desperate flicker of hope. Maybe you’d only just found the letter. Maybe you’d taken your time because you wanted to write something perfect.

James hurried to open the window, shivering as the cold air rushed in. The owl extended its leg, allowing him to untie the letter. “Thanks, mate,” James murmured, absently offering the owl a treat before it flew off into the winter sky.

His fingers trembled as he opened the envelope, eager to see your handwriting. But his heart sank the moment he read the first line.

“Happy Christmas, James!”

No mention of his letter. No response to his confession. Just a short, cheerful note wishing him a wonderful holiday and apologizing for not writing sooner. You explained that things had been hectic at home and promised to catch up with him soon.

James felt his chest tighten, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. The hope he’d been clinging to was slipping through his fingers.

You’d ignored his letter.

You’d chosen to act as though he’d never written it at all, as if he’d never poured his heart out on that piece of parchment.

James scoffed, his grip on the letter tightening. Fine, he thought bitterly. If you were going to pretend his confession didn’t exist, he could do the same.

He shoved the letter onto his desk, glaring at it as if it were the source of his frustration. Deep down, though, he knew the truth: he didn’t want to ignore you. He wanted to write back, to ask if you’d found the letter, to make sure you weren’t upset with him.

But pride was a stubborn thing, and James Potter wasn’t about to let his vulnerability show again—not now.

As the snow fell softly outside his window, James sat in silence, staring at the letter and wondering if he’d made a mistake by ever writing to you in the first place.

When it was time to return to Hogwarts, James made no effort to find you. Normally, he’d scan the platform, pretending it was a coincidence whenever his eyes landed on you. This time, he couldn’t bring himself to look.

He saw you anyway, just briefly—standing near your family, your face lit up with that familiar smile. His heart leaped in his chest, and his legs almost betrayed him, ready to stride over and say something, anything. But he stopped himself.

Instead, James turned sharply, mumbling a quick goodbye to his parents before heading onto the train. He didn’t want to see you—not now.

The walk through the train felt heavier than usual. He knew exactly where his friends would be—the same compartment they’d claimed since their first year—but it felt like an eternity to get there. When he finally slid open the door, the familiar faces of Sirius, Remus, and Peter greeted him.

“Oi, Prongs!” Sirius called cheerfully, but his grin faltered when James slumped onto the seat next to Peter with a loud huff.

James leaned his head back against the wall, closing his eyes. He could feel Sirius’s gaze on him, curious and probing.

“What’s got your wand in a knot?” Sirius asked, unable to resist.

“Don’t.” James’s voice was sharp, firm. It was rare for him to be in a foul mood, let alone snappish.

Sirius raised his hands in mock surrender. “Alright, alright. I won’t say a word.”

The tension in the compartment was palpable. The train rattled on, and the usual chatter of the four friends was noticeably absent. Sirius kept stealing glances at James, who sat brooding, arms crossed. Peter fidgeted nervously, while Remus flipped through a book, clearly uncomfortable with the silence.

Finally, about an hour into the ride, James broke.

“She ignored my letter.” His voice was low, bitter, but it shattered the quiet like a hex.

The others exchanged looks before Peter spoke hesitantly. “She really ignored it?”

“Yes, Peter,” James snapped, his tone sharp enough to make Peter flinch. Realizing what he’d done, James sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s fine,” Peter mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

“Maybe she didn’t see it,” Remus offered, his tone calm and rational. “What if it got lost in her luggage? Or someone else found it and hid it? Maybe you gave her another piece of parchment? There’s always a chance—”

“Moony, no.” James cut him off, his voice strained. “I double-checked. It was the right letter, in the right spot. And who doesn’t check their trunk full of clothes over the holiday?”

“Maybe she doesn’t,” Sirius said with a shrug, trying to lighten the mood. “You know, women can be unpredictable. Maybe she’s got a secret stash for random letters in her trunk.”

“No, she checks,” James said with certainty. “I’ve slipped plenty of things into her luggage before, and she’s always found them. She just doesn’t fancy me back.” His voice cracked slightly at the end, but he forced a small, bitter smile. “And it’s fine. I’ll get over it. I always do, right?”

The compartment fell silent again, the weight of James’s words sinking in.

Sirius leaned forward, a flicker of frustration in his eyes. “It’s not fine, James. If she didn’t fancy you back, that’s one thing. But ignoring you? That’s—”

“Don’t,” James interrupted quietly, his gaze fixed on the floor. “Don’t make it worse, Padfoot.”

Sirius bit back a retort and leaned back in his seat, muttering under his breath.

The rest of the ride passed more comfortably, but the shadow of James’s disappointment lingered. His friends cracked jokes and told stories, trying to lift his spirits, but even when he laughed, it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Deep down, James wondered if he’d ever stop wishing that you’d read his letter and felt the same way.

Hours later, everyone had gathered in the Great Hall. The enchanted ceiling reflected the dusky evening sky, and the buzz of students catching up after the holiday filled the room. Normally, James would sit with Sirius to his left, you to his right, and Remus and Peter across from him. It was a familiar arrangement, one you’d fallen into without question.

But tonight, James broke the routine.

He subtly nudged Peter into the spot on his right before sitting down, leaving the space where you’d usually sit conspicuously empty.

You walked in a moment later, scanning the Gryffindor table until you spotted your usual group. But when you approached, your steps faltered. Peter sat where you always did, looking apologetic but saying nothing.

Your eyes darted to James, silently questioning him, but he avoided your gaze, his attention fixed stubbornly on his plate.

Confused, you looked to Remus for an explanation. Out of all the Marauders, he was the one you trusted most to give you a straight answer. But Remus only shrugged, his expression carefully neutral, though the twitch at the corner of his mouth hinted at discomfort.

You scoffed, your chest tightening. First, James ignored you all through the holiday, and now he didn’t even want to sit near you? Fine. If he wanted to sulk like a child, you weren’t going to beg for his attention.

Without another word, you turned on your heel and walked further down the table, sliding into a seat beside your other group of friends. You forced yourself to laugh at their jokes and join in their chatter, but your mind kept wandering back to James.

At the Gryffindor table, James’s eyes flicked toward you more often than he’d admit. Every time he saw you laughing with your friends, his stomach twisted.

“Why is she acting like I’m the one in the wrong?” James muttered under his breath, jabbing at a piece of roast potato with his fork.

“Maybe because you’re acting like a prat?” Sirius replied, his tone laced with amusement as he leaned closer.

James shot him a glare.

“Look, Prongs,” Sirius continued, dropping the teasing. “She doesn’t know what’s going on. You didn’t even give her a chance to explain, and now you’re sulking like a first-year who lost his chocolate frog cards.”

“Explain what? She ignored my letter, Padfoot. What’s there to explain?” James hissed, though his tone lacked its usual conviction.

Remus sighed, setting down his goblet. “Did it ever cross your mind that maybe she doesn’t even know what letter you’re talking about?”

James froze, his fork hovering mid-air.

“Just talk to her, mate,” Sirius said, giving James a nudge. “Or don’t. But if you keep this up, you’re only making it worse—for both of you.”

James huffed, slumping back in his seat. The truth was, he didn’t know if he had it in him to face you just yet.

From across the hall, you caught the way James’s shoulders sagged, and for a brief moment, you considered walking over. But pride held you in place. If James wanted to act like this, fine. Two could play that game.

You and James hadn’t spoken in what felt like weeks. The once effortless connection you shared had been replaced with an awkward silence that weighed heavily on you. It wasn’t just James—it felt like the whole group of Marauders had grown distant, their usual antics and inside jokes missing their spark when you were around.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d done something to upset him. But what? You racked your brain for answers, replaying every interaction from the past few months. James had always been one of your closest friends—why was he acting so strange?

Charms class was the hardest part of it all. You always sat beside James, sharing notes, exchanging whispers, and stifling laughs when Professor Flitwick wasn’t looking. Now, you sat in the same spot, the chair next to you glaringly empty.

You tried to focus on the professor’s instructions, but your thoughts were louder than his voice. Scribbling aimlessly in your notebook, you hardly noticed when someone approached your desk.

“Are you alright?”

Startled, you looked up to see a boy with a blue-and-bronze tie standing beside you. His face was vaguely familiar—you’d seen him around in class but had never spoken to him.

“Yeah—yes, I’m fine,” you stammered, blinking in confusion. Why was he talking to you?

He gave a polite, slightly amused smile. “Well, can you move your stuff? I’m sitting here now. We’re partners for the project.”

“Oh!” Heat rose to your cheeks as you hurriedly shoved your books to one side. “Sorry about that. I didn’t realize.”

“No worries,” he said, settling into the chair beside you. “I figured you weren’t paying attention—no offense. But I was, so I’ll explain what Professor Flitwick said.”

You managed a small smile, relieved by his casual tone. “Thanks. That’s… helpful.”

While he began outlining the project details, your focus wavered, glancing at James out of the corner of your eye. He was across the room, seated next to a loud and enthusiastic partner who seemed to be trying desperately to get his attention. But James wasn’t listening.

His gaze was fixed on you.

There was a flicker of something in his expression—jealousy, maybe? Regret? Whatever it was, it made your stomach twist.

You quickly turned your attention back to your new partner, nodding along to his explanation, even if you weren’t entirely listening. You felt James’s eyes on you the entire time, but you refused to look back.

Across the room, James’s jaw clenched. His partner waved a hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his trance.

“Oi, Potter! Are you even listening?”

“Huh? Yeah, sure,” James muttered, though his eyes drifted back to you moments later.

He hated this—seeing someone else sitting beside you, making you smile when that used to be his seat, his job. But he didn’t know how to fix it. The letter. The silence. The way he’d avoided you. It all felt too big now, too messy to undo.

Still, James couldn’t stop watching you, his heart sinking further with every laugh you shared with your new partner.

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#harry potter #harry potter oneshots #harry potter x reader #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x you #marauders x reader #james potter x y/n #james potter x reader #james potter angst #james potter smut #james potter #James

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rafeysdeer · 1 day ago

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imperfect for you (aka insecure reader x comforting rafe)

kook!reader x rafe cameron

prompt: a party that was supposed to be relaxing and to clear the head goes terribly wrong, leaving a very anxious and insecure reader, good thing she has her very caring boyfriend who knows exactly how to take care of her.

a/n: okay, that's the first time i write for rafe, i really like obx and rafe, so i tried my best in here, but i didn't really like it, i think it's bcs it's my first time writing about him. english is not my first language, i hope you guys like it 💗

You weren't exactly excited about going to this party, but you knew your boyfriend was, and you didn't want to be a party pooper, and at least you'd be with him, nothing bad would happen if you gave up and went to a party, right?

Well, you were wrong, terribly wrong, even though you were a kook, you never exactly fit in, you never got the right friends, and even though you were pretty, guys just didn't seem to be interested in you.

That was until, Rafe Cameron laid eyes on you, in your little sundress, having a drink at the club, just looking for some peace, you looked almost ethereal in his eyes, and he just knew you were meant to be together, it took a while to convince you of that. You spent most of the talk thinking it was some bad joke, because there was no way, Rafe Cameron, the king of kooks, was there, talking to you, interested in you and not on your hot friend, or literally anyone else.

You two get along almost instantly, his charm had you wrapped around his finger, and you loved it.

It had been months since you two started dating, but you still didn't feel like you fit into his social circle. So when, the first moment he separated from you at the party, a girl purposely bumped into you, spilling her drink on your short dress and whispering 'Whore' in your ear, you were sure.

Rafe didn't get it why you suddenly looked so upset, but he wanted everything, but to see his girl upset, so when he suggested for you, that you two go home, you happily headed towards the truck.

"Sweetheart, you need to talk to me. What the hell happened that you suddenly look like a kicked puppy?" and it only took his playful words for you to burst into tears in the passenger seat, it wasn't just the girl or the stained dress, everything looked too much, and you looked so small, a girl being an bitch was all you needed to lose it.

Rafe immediately looked at you with his blue eyes filled with concern. "Hey, love, I was just kidding, you don't look like a kicked puppy, I swear." he says trying to understand what happened to make you break down.

You looked up at him, your pretty eyes shining with tears. "I just-, I don't feel like I fit in, Rafey, like i fit right in with you, but i'm just unwanted by everyone else," she says, her voice cracking with tears. "I tried to fit in, but I've been around these people my whole life, and they've never liked me, and now I feel like I'm holding you back, or making them look down at you"

Now, he looks like a kicked puppy as he looks at you with a worried expression. "Honey, you don't have to fit in, those people at the party, they don't like me either, they look at me like shit too and that's not your fault, not at all, you don't need to fit in with them because you think you have to because of me, the only person I need by my side, is you."

She blinks her bright eyes at him, as if the words had run away from her mind. The car stops in front of the house, and he gets out, opening the door for her, greeting her with a kiss before the words even come back to her. "I love you, no matter what any of those assholes think, because you're the one who's here for me, not them."

She looks at him, looking almost wonderstruck, a smile breaking across her face, wrapping her arms around his neck. "The only person I need is you, Rafe," she says, knowing that the feeling was mutual. "What do you say we go inside, put you in some comfy clothes, and watch Sex and the City?" She laughs at how well he knows her as they walk into the house, his hand around her waist.

"Sounds perfect."

#rafe x reader #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron thoughts #rafe cameron x you #rafe obx #drew starkey #outerbanks rafe #obx #outer banks

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naughtyneganjdm · 2 days ago

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Christmas in Jackson - Chapter 6

Summary: Tommy visits with Y/N and asks her not to give up on Joel just yet. Attempting to get Joel's attention, Y/N does something to make a fool of herself, but it does indeed get Joel's attention.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), Tommy Miller, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61159651/chapters/159622975

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Making Out, Severely Touch Starved Joel, Naked Cuddling (kinda), some light breast play, etc.

Notes: I promise to update this faster now. Thank you to everyone that actually took the time to comment on the last chapter. It made me feel much better about things. I can't tell you how much even a small comment helps! If you'd like to read previous chapters, check them out here.

Last night? It was nothing like the night before. Falling asleep was hard. All Y/N could think about was Joel. What was sad was that this was a man that she had only known for a few days. Yet? The things he said to her and the way he acted? It affected her more than she expected it to. There was a reason Joel hid behind this mean and cold exterior and she realized that. But it also didn’t stop her from being upset by the things that he said to her.

Her day spent with Joel was incredible. It was different than what she was used to and it was something she very much enjoyed. When she was cuddled up in bed with Joel, he felt like someone she had known for a lifetime. No one had ever made her relax and feel as safe with them as Joel had that night. Unfortunately that feeling was short lived because of the things he had said to her before he left her last night.

Most of the night was sleepless for her with her lying awake thinking about everything Joel said about her. In a way, he wasn’t wrong. She was looking for something to prove that life was still worth living. For so long she had been missing that one thing to keep fighting for. Maybe she was clinging onto Joel too quickly and it would be hard for someone like him to handle.

A lot of her sleep was broken and by the time she officially woke up early in the morning, she decided to pack her things. It wasn’t like she had much to begin with, so that didn’t make it hard for her to do. Tommy had requested her to give him twenty-four hours’ notice when she was leaving so she went downstairs to registration. When she got there it was someone she had yet to meet, so she just left Tommy a note about how she would be leaving tomorrow. She hadn’t gotten a plane ticket yet, but she was sure that she could get something out of town. Even if it took a few flights to get back home.

There was a lot of pent-up energy that she had lingering inside of her, so she threw something relaxed on and went downstairs to the gym area of the inn. Thankfully, no one was down there. It wasn’t the biggest gym she had ever seen in a hotel. In fact, it was very small, but it also had a room connected to it that was around the same size with two mini inground hot tubs in it. It was cozy and quaint for her. For someone else it may have not been enough. Deep down she wondered if many of the guests really ever came down here. It was way too clean in her opinion and the whole time she was down there, no one ever joined her.

With how unbusy this place was, she was getting the hint that there weren’t a lot of guests that were staying there right now. And if they were? It was only to have a place to sleep so they could spend the rest of the day with their family. She was probably the one person that spent this much time in the inn. Then again, that’s what most people did on trips. Took an adventure around the places they were vacationing. Most of them weren’t like her, spending most of their time trapped up inside.

Although, this place still seemed to get its money from the restaurant and bar that it had. It was smart adding those to the inn. It made sure that they always had a steady income, even on the days where it wasn’t busy at the inn.

God, that’s how boring she was. With the extra time she had while working out, she was thinking about how Tommy and Joel could afford to keep this place running. And truthfully, the rest of her day wasn’t going to be any more interesting. The plans for today were to finish her workout, take a shower, sit down hopefully to find a plane ticket home, get something to eat and then go to bed early. So that way she would be prepared for the full day of traveling she had ahead of her.

Right now she was finishing up her run on one of the two treadmills that they had in the small gym at the inn. To stay focused, she put in her noise cancelling earphones and worked to get out all of that negative energy that she had building up inside of her throughout the night. This was better than letting her intrusive thoughts eat away at her all day with the things that Joel had said to her lingering inside of her mind.

A small amount of movement out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. It wasn’t anything too big, but she could see it in the mirror paneled wall that was beside her. Taking a quick look over her shoulder she realized that someone was sitting on the lifting bench that was at the center of the room and it startled her, “Fucking hell!”

Immediately, the person that was sitting there jumped and toppled backwards onto the floor hitting it hard. Their legs were still hanging over the side of the lifting bench and it had her reaching out to quickly hit the stop button on the treadmill. Hopping down from it, she pulled her earphones out hearing the pained sound flooding the air. Shoving her earphones into her pocket, she moved over toward the center of the room to see that it was Tommy staring up at her from the ground. Helping him to unhook his legs from the bench, she did her best to allow him time to unhurriedly pull himself up from the floor.

“Tommy? What the hell were you doing?” she wrapped her arm around him, helping him to get to his feet. A grunt escaped him as she motioned him to take a seat on the bench again. There was a vibrant red color that flooded into his face expressing how embarrassed he was over the whole situation. “Were you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“No, it was quite the opposite actually. I actually came down here and started talking to you. Didn’t understand why you weren’t responding. Then I saw them earphones you were wearing and realized you couldn’t hear a word of it,” Tommy informed her, throwing his hand up in the direction that she had been running on the treadmill. “Since I didn’t want to scare you, I sat down here and waited until you were done. Clearly that was a mistake because not only did I scare you, but you also startled the hell out of me because I was looking at my phone when you yelled.”

An amused chuckle escaped her drawing out even more color from Tommy. Covering her mouth with her hand, her intentions were not to embarrass him, but she couldn’t help but laugh with the situation. Something in Tommy’s eyes changed when he realized he no longer had his phone. Spotting it on the floor, Tommy grunted and stretched out his body in attempts to grab a hold of it. Really he should have just gotten up from the bench since it was just a little too far out of his reach, but he was being stubborn dragging it toward him with just his fingertips. Once he got a hold of it, he pulled himself back up into the seated position he was in before.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Tommy explained, shoving his phone into the pocket of the jacket that he was wearing. Searching for something else in another one of his pockets, Tommy pulled something out to reveal the note that she had left for him earlier. Waving it about had her looking away from him. “What’s this Y/N?”

“The twenty-four-hour notice that you asked for,” she thought it was fairly obvious what the note was and the look that Tommy gave her showed her that he realized that. “When I came here you asked me to tell you when I was leaving and I’m telling you. I’m going to hopefully get a plane home tomorrow.”

“You can’t do that,” Tommy exclaimed, shaking his head repeatedly. Even though she didn’t mean to, a scoff fell from her throat. Folding her arms out in front of her chest, she waited for Tommy’s explanation. “I’m not trying to tell you what you can and cannot do. There is just a storm that is starting tonight and it’s supposed to last for three days. If you don’t believe me, you can look on your phone with your weather app. I promise you no plane is gonna wanna be flying out of Jackson with how the weather is gonna be.”

Hearing that had the color draining from her face. Doing as he suggested, she pulled her phone out from her pocket and confirmed exactly what he was telling her. Frustration flooded her veins. Well, now she was stuck here and her original plans would not work. By how upset she was about the information, Tommy could sense that she was completely determined to leave tomorrow which worried him.

“While we’re also on the topic of reasons why you shouldn’t leave,” Tommy sounded nervous in the way he started to speak up again. Standing slowly from the bench, he winced when there was a tug in his back. Something ached from the fall he took earlier. Because she was a doctor, he could see the look on her face immediately changing when he started to rub at his lower back. “I’m fine.”

“Do you need me to look at you?” she offered since it was technically her fault that he fell and that kind of thing was also her job.

“I’m already ashamed enough as it is,” Tommy half smiled, shaking his head at the offer. Falling was enough to make him feel like an idiot, but if he hurt himself from falling? That would only make it worse. “I’ll be fine. I just need to stretch it out.”

Brushing his fingers through his long hair, Tommy focused on looking normal not wanting to feel foolish about hurting himself like he did, “Tomorrow, with the snow, Joel and I are going with Maria’s family to one of the local resorts. Some friends are coming too. We were looking to spend the day there. People typically have fun going there and I wanted to ask you if you’d come with us. You’d get to see one of the biggest draws of Jackson.”

“That’s not going to work,” she rejected his offer, her hands dropping down at her sides. While it was nice that he was trying to include her in something again, there was no way that it would actually happen. “Because I’m afraid of heights and I don’t like skiing.”

“I remember you saying that,” Tommy seemed persistent with whatever he was about to continue on with. “But this resort? It’s huge. And it’s not just skiing. Maria is still coming with us because there are other things to do. With her being pregnant, you know I wouldn’t let her ski. That would just be stupid. Skiing and snowboarding are only some of the things that you can do. They have this winter coaster that is there which is really cool. Gondola rides. Tubing. Places to eat and just hang out. Maria and I have talked it out. We want you there with us.”

“Tommy, you know how much I like the both of you,” she started, guilt eating away at her with the idea that she was sticking to her decision with it being no, “but Joel? He wants nothing to do with me. So, while I appreciate the offer, I’m going to have to turn you down. Because that makes this whole thing kind of impossible.”

“I see,” Tommy frowned, folding his arms out in front of his chest. Instead of just accepting her answer, he took a moment to think things out and sighed loudly. “I was kinda hoping that he spent the night with you here.”

“You haven’t talked to him?” she was bewildered to hear that, her chest aching when she thought about the night before. With a single shake of his head Tommy answered the question for her. Tommy’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and he lowered his head. Emotions were still flooding over from last night into this morning. And she didn’t blame Tommy for being upset. “I take it he’s not here?”

“He had today off,” Tommy replied back, his body language suddenly becoming very uncomfortable. “He always takes this day off every week. But I assumed that the two of you were still together after everything last night.”

“No, your brother and I didn’t spend much longer together after you last had seen us,” she enlightened Tommy to the fact that they split ways not long after leaving the bar. “He walked me to the inn and let me know that I was just a stranger that meant nothing to him. A stranger he really didn’t like much to begin with.”

“So that’s why you left me this,” Tommy suddenly understood why she had decided to go home and leave the note for him. Pushing the note back into his pocket he could see that she was uncomfortable talking about Joel. “You can’t take that to heart. He didn’t mean it. I’ve seen you with my brother and you bring out something I haven’t seen in him in a very long time.”

“Severe anger?” she let out a hesitant laugh, her body tensing up when she considered all the times Joel had slung personal attacks at her since she had gotten here. Tommy lowered back down onto the bench and stared up at her with his big brown eyes. “Tommy, your brother doesn’t like me. I was just the first person to show interest in him and he confused being sex deprived with something more.”

“Now if Joel said that, that’s just him being an asshole to try to push you away,” Tommy insisted with a loud sigh, burying his head into his hand disappointed that his brother would even say something like that. “My brother does everything he can to push people away. He doesn’t think he deserves to be happy and when someone starts to make him feel good, he always sabotages himself. It’s just…it’s who he is.”

“He said a lot of awful things last night before leaving me here,” she claimed, letting Tommy in on what happened. “I realize you think something positive was going on between us, but it was a fluke. Just like Joel said. Your brother said he wasn’t emotionally capable of being with me. Or doing…whatever we were doing.”

“Y’know what? How about the two of us go upstairs? We can grab some cider and donuts for us. Maybe we can go up to your room and talk for a while?” Tommy offered, his jaw flexing realizing that it was a lot to ask from someone who didn’t even know him for that long.

“If you and your family keep giving me free things you are going to go out of business,” she considered after all the gifts that his family had been giving her over the last few days. “While I appreciate it, I’m the last person that needs free things.”

“I doubt that, but…” Tommy stood up, brushing his hands off on his pants when he did it. “We actually give people free cider and donuts every morning during the winter. So, it’s not really me giving you anything that we wouldn’t normally give our guests.”

“Oh,” her face flushed over with color, embarrassment flooding into her features. “Then yeah. We can do that.”

Waving him forward, she followed Tommy up the stairs where they grabbed themselves something and headed up toward her room. When they got in, she motioned him to take a seat on the couch and she sat down at the opposite end. Both of them were quiet and it seemed like they were both waiting for the other one to talk.

“Something happened after you told Joel that you and Maria were having a baby,” she blurt out feeling embarrassed with the way that Tommy gazed over at her. “Joel told me that it was none of my business, but I know that the way he reacted was not normal. I wanted to apologize for him, but Joel was right. I have only been here for a few days and I can’t step into a family situation that I know nothing about.”

“I know why my brother reacted the way he did,” Tommy paused to consider and think what he was going to tell her. “I just was hoping that he would have a different reaction to it than he actually did. Sadly, the way he responded was the way that I thought he would. That’s why I didn’t want to tell anyone about the baby until after the holidays. I knew that he wouldn’t respond in a positive way.”

“That’s not normal Tommy,” she decided after taking some time to think about what Tommy said. Even though she liked Joel, that was an asshole way to respond to the fact that your brother was going to have a baby with the woman that he loved. “People don’t usually act like that.”

“My family isn’t…normal,” Tommy frowned, setting the cup of cider that he had down on one of the coasters that was set up on the coffee table. Shoving the rest of the donut that he had into his mouth, it was then that he realized the bite was probably too big. With big eyes, Y/N smirked as he chewed very uncomfortably showing that he was stressed. With a loud swallow, Tommy grunted and she took a tiny sip of her cider. “Trust me, if you knew things…you would understand.”

“Are these things I’m not allowed to know?” she was curious what these things were. It wasn’t the first time she heard about negative things toward Joel.

“I can’t tell you because they aren’t my life experiences to share. I was part of them, but if I told you and Joel found out,” Tommy paused, sucking in a sharp breath of air, shaking his head at the idea of Joel being angry with him. “He wouldn’t want me to tell anyone. When we moved here, Joel wanted to leave his past behind. But the problem is? Joel’s past defines who he is completely. Joel never truly left his past behind.”

What could she say to that? There were no hints as to what was part of Joel’s past or why Joel was acting the way he was. It was just something that Tommy expected from him.

“My brother is a good man. I know that it may not seem like that, but Joel is and has always been a very good man. He was always putting others before himself. Especially when it came to me. Joel has been taking care of me my whole life,” Tommy expressed to her, placing his hand in over the center of his chest to show sincerity in what he was saying. “Joel had to take care of me, even when we were kids. Joel had to grow up fast and I took a very long time to grow up. And that was hard on Joel. Our parents passed away when we were young and Joel had to raise me. I made a lot of mistakes growing up and he was there to deal with what came afterwards.”

“That doesn’t sound like you,” she had a hard time believing that because Tommy seemed like such a straight laced overall good guy.

“I had a hard time finding my place when I was young,” Tommy admitted, thinking back on his younger years. “I wanted to save the world. I just didn’t realize the toll that it would take on me and the ones I loved. I am the way that I am now because I found love again. But Joel? Joel has suffered through so much pain. More pain than a man should have to endure. And I’m surprised he survived because I don’t know if I would have.”

Hearing that broke her heart, but she didn’t know how she could possibly help Joel or even begin to understand if Tommy wouldn’t tell her, “Joel was happy for a while. Even though he went through a lot there was one thing in his life that balanced him. Made him realize life was special and worth living. And then something terrible happened. And since then? My brother has been a broken man. It wasn’t until you came around that I saw any sense of happiness in my brother.”

A silence followed with the lump in her throat growing bigger. Guilt was growing inside of her and her throat felt dry the further she thought about what Tommy was saying.

“That’s why I’m here begging you to give Joel a chance,” Tommy pled with her, holding his hands together in a way that made him feel pathetic with his face growing hot. “I know it’s been only a few days, but I think you feel it too. I see the way the two of you look at one another. Something happened between the two of you that just clicked. And while my brother is putting up a wall to protect himself and everyone else, he’s hurting himself in return. You? You I think are the only person capable of letting my brother be happy again.”

“Tommy, I’m just a stranger,” she recalled what Joel had said, her body tense when she took in all the information that Tommy was giving her.

“Are you though?” Tommy retorted, his head tipping from side to side with his dark eyes narrowing. “I know that it’s only been a few days, but the things we’ve talked about? I think you’re more comfortable with my family than you are pretty much anyone else. Don’t you?”

“Well, yeah,” she waved her hand about knowing that statement to be true. A big part of her life she kept secret for a reason, but she was very open with the Miller family about her past. “But I can’t help Joel if he doesn’t want to be around me. Yes, I like your brother…”

“Obviously,” Tommy added with a bounce of his eyebrows that brought some color into her face. There were some positions that Tommy had caught her in that she wasn’t very proud of. “Honey, anyone with eyes can see that when the two of you are together, there are sparks.”

“I just don’t know how to be around your brother if he keeps pushing me away and wants to be mean,” she defended her thoughts with Tommy exhaling loudly. “Yesterday was amazing. I don’t remember the last time I was that comfortable with someone Tommy. And then he just turned hateful all over again. With the snap of his fingers, the sweet guy that was eager to take care of me was shitting all over me. Metaphorically speaking.”

“I know that and I’m sorry he’s like that,” Tommy apologized, but she didn’t think that was fair for him to have to do for Joel so she lifted her hands to stop him from going any further.

“Tommy, you’re his brother and when you told him that you were going to be a father—his reaction? It was very poor,” she recognized that the negative behavior went way beyond the things that were going on with her. “If that’s the way he responds to being an uncle…?”

“Listen, I wish I could tell you, but I promise you it makes sense even if you don’t think it would,” Tommy reasoned with her, wincing at the idea of what Joel had done the night before. “My brother will come around eventually. It’s just going to take time. I was unfortunately very drunk last night so I was emotional and didn’t understand his response. I was also hopeful with you around that maybe he wouldn’t be like that.”

“How would you respond to someone who was saying what you are to me?” she pushed Tommy for answers since she didn’t know what Tommy wanted her to say.

“I would think they were nuts,” Tommy knew that this was a lot, but he shrugged his shoulders and sighed loudly. “But I think you’re the one thing that can save my brother from himself. And I know he likes you. I see it in the way that he looks at you. I haven’t seen my brother look that way in a very long time. It was nice to see that part of him again.”

“How can I save someone when I’m barely holding on myself?” she lowered her head, her throat tensing up with her admitting to Tommy that she may have not had the strength to do what he wanted of her. “Joel told me he wasn’t emotionally capable of being the person to help me get to be where I needed to be. You know I’m not right Tommy.”

“You and my brother are so much alike,” Tommy reached out to place his hands in over hers in a friendly manner to show her support. “I’m just asking you to try for just a while longer with him. I think there is something there between the two of you. And I think he can help you just as much as you could help him.”

Biting back on her lip, she felt emotional but she didn’t know why. Just giving Tommy a small nod, she pat her hand in over his and shrugged, “So do you agree to staying here for a little while longer? You’ll join us tomorrow?”

“Tommy, I don’t think I would have a choice either way with leaving,” she pointed to her phone reminding him that there was a snowstorm coming that was dangerous as it was. “I hate flying to begin with and the last thing I want to do is fly in a snowstorm like the one that is coming to this town. So I’m here whether I want to be or not.”

“While that’s true…” Tommy started, sucking in a sharp breath of air, “Something tells me that my brother is one of the things that is making you want to stay.”

Yes and no. Because his brother was the main reason she wanted to leave this morning too.

“I’ll go work on something downstairs for a few. How about you get dressed in something warm and meet me in about thirty minutes at the front. I want to show you something,” Tommy instructed her with a curious expression flooding out over her features. “Trust me.”

She didn’t know why, but she listened to Tommy. Allowing him to leave her room, she cleaned up enough and wore something warm. When he asked her to meet him, she was there and he was already waiting for her.

“So,” she noticed that they were quiet while walking wherever Tommy was taking her. “Were you hoping you would have a daughter or a son?”

“I reckon I’d be happy with either,” Tommy confessed with a weak smile, his head tipping to the side slightly so he could stare out at her when they walked. “I never thought I’d be a dad so it’s all very exciting for me. But also horrifying at the same time.”

“I think you two are going to make great parents,” she decided in an assuring tone hoping to stress to Tommy that everything would be okay. “I have only known you a few days and I can tell with how you treat me you’re going to be great parents.”

“You’re a bit different than a screaming baby,” Tommy teased her with a wrinkle of his nose getting her to smile.

“Well, that depends on the day,” she joked back, nudging him playfully with her arm liking that the banter between them was still innocent and sincere.

“If things don’t work out,” Tommy was quiet in the way he began speaking to her again, his face twisting with contemplation if he should say what he was about to. “If you and my brother have issues, Maria and I really like you. We’d like to keep in contact with you if you don’t mind.”

“Wouldn’t I be biased then when I left my review of the place? Being friends with the owners and all,” she smirked, amused that really the only people she managed to speak to and get close to were the owners of the inn she was staying at. The laugh Tommy let out seemed uncomfortable and amused at the same time. “I’m just screwing with you. Of course. Truthfully? I like the two of you more than most people I know.”

“That’s good,” Tommy noted with a half-smile, “because with my brother I almost assumed you would leave a shitty review of the place.”

“You level things out,” she promised, reaching out to pat at the center of his shoulders provoking Tommy to let out a deep rumble of laughter. “Although, I do have to wonder where you are taking me because I’m fucking freezing with this wind.”

“Just a few more steps,” Tommy motioned ahead of them, grabbing her to stop her when they stepped in front of a storefront. “Look into that window right there.”

“’Where are we?” she went to look up at what the store was, but Tommy instead just pushed her carefully forward toward the window. Doing as she was instructed, she leaned in trying to gaze through the window that was reflecting too much light from the outside with how bright it was. When her eyes adjusted she could see that Joel was sitting with a group of kids. They all had acoustic guitars and it was evident that Joel was attempting to teach them how to play. “You wanted me to see this?”

“My brother is a good man,” Tommy insisted, moving in beside her to watch Joel set his guitar down to head over toward one of the children that were in his class to help adjust their fingers to play. “Little rough around the edges, but his heart is good. It’s just hard for him to believe that he deserves any sort of happiness in his life. The man would give you the shirt off his back even if it was the last thing that he had. He’s just severely protective of those he loves but also good at self-sabotaging himself because he’s not used to having something good in his life.”

“You’re really trying to hook me and your brother up,” she noticed how hard Tommy was pushing her to see the good in Joel. “You realize that, right?”

“Actually, I was furious with my brother yesterday morning when he walked out of your room because I thought he made a mistake that was fueled by alcohol,” Tommy thought back to when he found Joel leaving Y/N’s suite. “Now I know there is something more. You bring out something in him and as his little brother? I just want to see him happy.”

Not wanting to embarrass or upset Joel, they didn’t stay too long. Both her and Tommy had lunch together where instead of focusing on Joel, they just got to know each other better as friends. And after they did? She went back to the inn and got cleaned up. A lot of what they talked about weighed heavy on her. The fact that all she could do was think about Joel Miller told her that there was something inside of her that longed for him. She hadn’t felt this way about someone in a very long time.

There was something that struck realization into her while she lounged around her room all day. The conversation she had with Joel the night before when they were alone together in that hallway. They made plans for something that was very unlikely to happen tonight. Something dirty. But considering this town was small and Joel had been at The Tipsy Bison every day she had been there so far? She might have been lucky and he’d be there again.

Getting ready, she knew that this was ridiculous, but she pulled out the only dress she brought with her which was a tight-fitting black dress that was something in the past she would have worn to a club to get attention. It was freezing outside, so this was definitely a decision that might have been a bad one. But she didn’t care. Putting on her heavy coat that she had bought in town here over the dress felt strange. It wasn’t a long walk, but damn did she regret wearing this as soon as she stepped outside. Admittedly? Usually she wouldn’t rush, but since it was already snowing, the walk to The Tipsy Bison was rather quick, kickstarting her heart to race. By the time she reached the bar, once she entered she almost regretted it. This was a stupid idea.

People were staring at her when she entered. And she didn’t blame them. She had dressed up nice, done her make up and was out to impress if she had spotted Joel Miller. There was a sense of disappointment that flooded her veins when she looked to the table that Joel had mentioned to her the night before. It was empty. Maybe she should have just left.

That was when she took another look at the bar and felt a rush flood through her veins realizing that Joel was slouched over at the end of the bar holding onto a glass that she assumed had whiskey in it. Clearing her throat, she confidently pulled the material from her jacket down her body. Doing so immediately drew the attention of the bartender that was at the time pouring Joel’s drink. Folding her coat over her arm, she stood there for a moment longer. Noticing that the bartender must have been gawking, Joel turned on his seat with his brown eyes growing big when he saw her standing there in the dress. Making sure to lock eyes with Joel, she gave him an emotionless expression before heading over toward the booth that he had mentioned.

Taking a seat, she waited. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Joel’s face was scrunching up in confusion with what she was doing. But pretty quickly the bartender that had ignored her the previous days was stumbling through the bar eager to come over to get a drink order from her. Not wanting to make an ass of herself, she ordered a juice because the last thing she wanted to do was get drunk and end up home with the wrong person.

Pulling out her phone, she acted like she was checking something, but out of her peripherals was watching Joel’s reaction toward her. What was disappointing is that he didn’t get up. He just turned around back toward the bar, but every so often he would look over his shoulder at her to see what she was doing.

Mostly she was getting the stares from men that she didn’t want to get the attention of. Especially the one that Joel had terrified the night before. Considering no one was coming up to her, Joel was likely right. That guy was a big mouth and let everyone know what Joel said so people were too afraid to go over to her.

When she got her drink, she noticed that Joel was staring at her again over his shoulder and she teasingly stroked her fingers at the glass that was before her. Eventually Joel smirked, shook his head and turned away from her again.

“Wow,” she muttered under her breath starting to feel embarrassed at just how much she was failing in this situation. With how desperately Joel spoke to her yesterday about the scenario they set up, she thought doing what he had told her last night would have drawn him to her. The dress she was wearing was tight, clinging to her every curve. She was wearing something with a skirt just like he had asked her to. Seeing him blow her off like that just made her know how stupid this really was. Huffing out, she slid out from the booth and started to put her jacket on again.

Grabbing her juice, she headed over toward the bar hearing a crashing sound with how quickly the bartender came over toward her as she stepped in beside Joel who tensed up with her near. It was interesting how quickly this bartender went from ignoring her the first day to falling over himself to get to her.

“Something wrong with your drink?” the bartender wondered with her slamming the glass down in front of Joel who stiffened beside her, his back straightening when he tipped his head just enough to look back at her. His eyebrows bounced up and they locked eyes. “Can I get you something else?”

“No, I’m leaving, but he can have this,” she declared, sliding the drink in closer to Joel whose dark eyes narrowed when she leaned in closer to him. More than anything she wanted to lash out at him, but she knew that she couldn’t and shouldn’t in front of these people. “Enjoy the drink.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel spoke quietly, his expression barely changing only infuriating her more. She felt the eyes of the people around them watching and she had to have looked ridiculous. Frowning, she shook her head and turned on her heel heading to leave.

“This was so dumb,” she confessed once she reached the outside, cussing out when she almost slid because of the snow that had started to fall. Noticing that town square was close to empty, instead of heading directly back to the inn she went across the street to see the tree. Whenever things were hard for her in New York City she would go to the Rockefeller tree and she would find some kind of inspiration there. So she was hoping the tree here would have the same kind of effect for her too. Tommy begged her to stay for Joel, but with the way Joel responded to her, she felt like that was a stupid decision. Once she reached the tree, the heavy amounts of snow caught her foot causing her to slip and fall back into the snow. Thankfully there was enough snow to catch her fall causing her to let out a frustrated laugh. “You have to be fucking kidding me.”

Staring up toward the sky, she didn’t have the will power to get up right now. So she just stayed there with her heart pounding inside of her chest. It was freezing and she’d likely make herself sick, but she was fed up with everything right now. There was a burning at her cheeks from the wind and a prickling sensation in her legs from being bare and laying in the snow. Yeah, she certainly succeeded in making herself out to be an idiot tonight.

The sound of the snow crunching under someone’s footsteps was heard, but she didn’t bother to look. A moment later, Joel’s curious brown eyes were staring down at her. His right eyebrow arched, the crease at the bridge of his nose growing deeper.

“What in God’s name are you doing?” Joel asked, his southern drawl raspier than normal when he tipped his head slightly. Having Joel standing over her like that did feel ridiculous, but she couldn’t find herself thinking of an answer fast enough.

“I’m making snow angels. Isn’t that obvious?” she waved her arms about causing Joel to smirk at her antics. With a slow nod, Joel looked around the area before carefully lowering down in beside her in the snow. Astonishment flooded her body with her turning her head to the side to see that Joel was looking up into the sky like she had been. “What are you doing?”

“Well if people see you like that, they are going to think you’re crazy,” Joel alerted her, turning his head slightly to lock eyes with her. “So this way? They’ll think we’re crazy together.”

Hearing that had her heart skipping a beat. Returning her stare back to the sky above them, she could tell that Joel was getting more comfortable beside her in the snow. Resting his hands in over her abdomen while he laid there, Joel kept quiet.

“You fell, didn’t you?” Joel asked simply causing her to let out a tremoring exhale.

“Yes. Yes I did,” she was honest, hearing the tiny chuckle from Joel. If she wasn’t freezing her ass off right now, she might have found this funny too.

Silence returned and it started to feel uncomfortable so she decided to break it, “I saw you earlier.”

“And I saw you earlier,” Joel countered, confusing her in that moment because she was fairly certain that he hadn’t seen her and Tommy watching him teach those children. “The performance was a bit dramatic if you ask me.”

“Thank you, but I wasn’t talking about that,” she scoffed when she understood that he was talking about what just happened in the bar with them together moments earlier. “I was actually talking about earlier today. You teaching those children how to play the guitar. It was cute.”

“Hmmm…” Joel hummed, his jaw flexing with her confession to him. His eyelashes fluttered when he turned his head to look out at her again. Originally, she thought he might have been embarrassed, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I told you sometimes I could be really cute.”

“And sometimes you can be a huge asshole,” she was short with him having him nod his head as if he agreed with her. Instead of fighting back with her, he just took her comment with a grain of salt. “You should teach me how to play before I leave.”

“This world?” Joel spouted off eliciting her to push up onto her hands to stare out at him. Mirroring her, Joel sat up in the snow and held his hand out to direct her attention to what she was wearing. “Because if you lay in the snow much longer like that I can’t do much of anything.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong. By now, she couldn’t feel much of anything with her legs and she knew that was a bad thing. Tommy told her that there was going to be a storm tonight. She should have realized wearing this dress would be a bad idea. Even if it wasn’t much of a walk from the inn to the bar that the Miller family often attended.

“My legs are numb,” she admitted with a frown eliciting a low rumble of a groan from Joel. Watching him digging into the inside of his jacket, she knew that he was right. She needed to get out of this snow. Digging something out of his jacket, Joel motioned her forward and she gave him an odd expression. “What?”

“Don’t be stubborn,” Joel instructed, reaching out to pull his winter hat down in over her head. After that, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a thick pair of work gloves. A rush of embarrassment flooded through her with Joel gesturing her to hold her hands up. Doing as she was told, Joel pulled the gloves down over her hands making sure that they would stay. Right now she felt like a child that was being taken care of. Tugging her jacket together better, Joel grunted and repositioned himself. “Hold tight.”

“To what?” she gasped out with Joel hooking his arms under her firmly lifting her up from the snow. Not wanting to fall, she was quick to wrap her arms around the back of Joel’s neck with him readjusting her in his arms when he got to his feet. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Your legs are numb,” Joel reminded her nodding over toward her legs that sincerely did ache. Resting her head in against Joel’s shoulder, she was amazed with how strong he genuinely was. By the time that he was carrying her out of town square, Joel was right. People were looking at them like they were insane.

“Where are you taking me?” she asked noticing that they were headed in the opposite direction of the inn. Grunting, Joel adjusted her in his arms in a way that seemed to be more comfortable for him. “Joel?!”

“You need to warm up properly. And considering you pulled this stunt in an attempt to impress me, I’m taking you to my home. It’s not that far away,” Joel responded, his southern accent growing stronger while he continued down the street in the direction of the homes that were in Jackson. “We’ll get you into proper clothes, sit you down in front of the fireplace to warm up and I’ll get something warm into you.”

Pausing to consider what he just had said had her snickering against the side of his neck and he huffed, “Be mature for ten seconds. You know I mean a drink.”

“Suddenly you care?” she tried to gather herself from continuing to tease Joel. Yeah, it was immature, but the things that Joel had said to her yesterday had eaten away at her all night and into today. Honestly? She knew she shouldn’t have been complaining because her legs ached and she wondered if she would have even been able to walk back to the inn with how sore she was. Tipping her head back enough, there was an amused expression over Joel’s features and it made her frown. “I’m just saying. Yesterday you weren’t very nice to me.”

“What did you say I was occasionally? An asshole?” Joel confirmed with her, his breathing creating a visible mist in the air with how cold it actually was. Giving him a tiny nod, she curled her arms tighter around him with him turning another corner. “It’s more than occasionally. But I’m also on occasion a gentleman.”

Even though she wanted to fight him, she truthfully liked being in his arms and just lowered her head again. They were quiet when he made it to a home that she assumed was his with his last name painted on the mailbox. Moving up the steps to the walkway that led to his home, Joel’s face scrunched up and he laughed, “Although, I do have to ask you. You’re a smart person. What led you to think it was smart wearing this in this kind of temperature?”

“I uh…” she clung tighter to Joel with him moving up the steps to his home. When he reached the door, Joel carefully lowered her down for a moment with one of his arms still wrapped around her to brace her weight against him. Digging into his pockets, he managed to pull out his keys. Struggling to get the door open, he gave her a nervous smile fumbling with it until it opened. Grunting out, he picked her up in his arms again after he put the keys back into his pocket. “Joel!”

“Calm down, I’ve got you,” he hushed her, kicking the door shut with his heel acting as if her worrying about the idea of him dropping her was ridiculous. Walking throughout his house in the dark seemed to be easy for him. Before she knew what was happening, she was being set down on his couch carefully before he walked through the room to turn the light on. “Let’s get the fire started for you…”

Watching him from the couch she knew that she was a tremoring mess. Probably looking ridiculous with his hat and gloves on. Joel was right. It was too fucking cold to pull a stunt like that. And she knew better. She was a doctor after all. For a few minutes Joel worked with the fireplace until he got it working. Swiftly, he moved one of his seats closer to the fire and headed over toward the couch again.

“I can stand up,” she went to stop him, but he didn’t allow her when he picked her up with ease. Being cautious with the way he sat her down, she was amazed at how gentle he was being with her. Especially after last night. The warmth of the fire felt nice with Joel reaching to pull the gloves from her hands. Tossing the gloves aside, he grabbed a hold of her hands and rubbed at them to gather some warmth. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” he shook his head, dropping his hands down to rub at her legs that were undoubtedly the coldest part of her. It wasn’t something that was sexual, he really was doing his best just to warm her up. The gesture was very sweet and she felt a lump growing in her throat watching him. “Let me go get you something to wear. I did the laundry today, so it should be fresh. I promise.”

“You don’t have to…” before she could finish Joel had already walked out of the living room leaving her alone to herself sitting in front of the fire.

The time alone allowed her to gaze upon Joel’s home for the first time. Except for the tree that was in the corner of the room left unplugged, everything was extraordinarily average. Joel’s living room was clean, everything had a place and the only thing that she noticed was the paintings on the wall reminded her a lot of the inn. It was too bad she didn’t have the strength to walk around and explore but her body was exactly where it wanted to be. Enjoying the warmth of the fireplace that Joel had sat her near. The sound of footsteps returning was heard and she looked toward the area Joel walked away to see him rounding the corner.

“I grabbed you some sweatpants, a t-shirt and a hoodie that I had in there,” Joel moved before her, holding out the clothes that he had grabbed for her. Accepting them, she lowered them down into her lap with Joel nervously looking around his living room. Messing his fingers through his hair, Joel stumbled through the living room and plugged the tree in to give her more light. Unlike the inn where the Christmas tree was extravagant, this was very plain. It just had lights on it with no decorations whatsoever. “I’ll turn the television on so you have some background noise while I make you something warm. Would you prefer some coffee or hot chocolate? I’m a coffee guy. Big fan of coffee. But if it’s too late for that…”

“Coffee is fine,” she cut him off, not wanting to be much of a bother with things.

“You can change in here. I’ll stay in the kitchen for a few just to make sure I don’t see anything,” Joel promised snapping his fingers. Clicking his tongue against the top of his mouth, a rush of color flooded into Joel’s face and he seemed to be embarrassed. Turning on his heel, he headed back toward what she assumed was the kitchen leaving her there. Waiting for a moment, she shakily stood up from the chair and worked her dress off. Putting the clothes on that he gave her to the best of her ability, she folded up the dress and then lowered down into the chair again. “Permission to come in?”

Looking to the entrance of the room, she couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of Joel holding his hand dramatically over his eyes while taking big steps into the room. Holding out a pair of socks drew her eyes to them with Joel huffing, “I thought you might need these. Cold feet is never a good feeling.”

“You can uncover your eyes,” she assured him with Joel dropping his hand down at his side. Even though he was in fact being a gentleman, she really wouldn’t have cared if he had seen her naked. Strangely, she was that comfortable with Joel. “Thank you for these.”

“Yes ma’am,” Joel watched her closely, holding his hand out for her dress. “I’ll hang that up to dry if you would like.”

Handing off the dress, she was impressed with how good Joel was taking care of her. Whatever Joel had turned on the television before he left appeared to be some kind of Christmas romance film. And it brought a smile to her wondering if Joel often watched these type of movies since this was the channel that was left on.

“Y’know what I still can’t wrap my mind around?” Joel’s voice made her jump when he returned to the living room with two mugs in his hands. Unhurriedly handing hers off to her, Joel made sure she had a good hold of it before releasing it. Cupping the mug in her hands, she was using it mainly just to warm herself up. “That you somehow thought it was a smart idea to wear all that just to get my attention.”

“It worked,” she reminded him with Joel taking a moment to think that over. Tipping his head from side to side, his bottom lip curled before he nodded. “Didn’t it?”

“Oh, it worked. I just thought it was ridiculous,” Joel informed her, leaning his arm against the wall that was beside the fireplace. Bringing his mug up to his lips, Joel took what sounded like an annoyingly loud slurp of his coffee and she wondered if he did it on purpose. “The whole idea was to wear something inconspicuous so we could get away with it. Wearing that dress? You had the bartender exploding in his pants. All eyes were on you. We could have never done what we talked about. With your breasts being all perky and nice.”

“Perky and nice?” she chuckled at his description. “Thank you?”

“You’re welcome,” Joel bobbed his head about with a tiny smirk tugging at his features. “You really thought coming into that bar today would get me to come over there and do the things we talked about last night?”

“It was worth a shot,” she thought aloud, turning her attention back toward the fire. Taking her first sip of the coffee, she knew that this was more so for the warmth.

“Why?” Joel muttered with a huff, his face scrunching up in disbelief. “I treated you like shit yesterday and you still wanted to do that with me?”

“I guess I’m kind of a moron,” she theorized, her eyebrows bouncing up provoking him to chuckle under his breath. Shifting uneasily in the seat that he had moved for her, her eyes finally looked up at him. “I unfortunately couldn’t get my mind off you all night. When you can’t stop thinking about someone you become pretty desperate to get their attention. Even if that means hurting yourself in the process. Falling in the snow was not part of the plan though, I promise you that.”

Stepping forward, Joel extended his hand to collect her jaw loosely between his rough fingertips, “Don’t ever hurt yourself for me again. I may be a dick, but I don’t wanna see you dead. You understand me? It doesn’t take much for you to catch my attention. You don’t have to risk your health in order to do it.”

“Would you have been as nice to me otherwise?” she interrogated him, getting his eyes to narrow almost immediately after. While it was a nice thing to hear, she doubted that Joel would have been so welcoming like this if she wouldn’t have been stupid. “See. You wouldn’t have.”

“Touché,” Joel grumbled, motioning her to wait. Setting his coffee down on the coffee table near the couch, Joel made his way over toward one of the closets to pull out a blanket for her. Heading back over, he was careful in the way he wrapped it around her and over her shoulders. “Good?”

Turning his head, the warmth of his breath lingered over hers and it made a shuddering exhale escape her lips. Not being able to form words, she just nodded with Joel tipping his head forward just enough to nuzzle his nose in against hers.

“Why did you do what you did last night? I don’t need to know that stuff with Tommy. I mean with me,” she wanted to know his reasoning with her heart skipping a beat at the closeness of him. “What did I do?”

“It wasn’t you,” Joel slurred, his cheek rubbing in against hers and with her free hand she instinctively started to stroke her fingers at the back of his neck. “What I said is true Y/N. I’m nothing good. I’m poison. The quicker you see that, the better.”

“This doesn’t feel like poison,” she noted placing a delicate kiss over the side of his face having him tense up before her. His body’s reactions to her drove her wild for this man. Every touch she gave him had him reacting, even if he didn’t want it to. It was involuntary, but he yearned for every delicate sweep of her fingers over his skin along with her kisses. “This actually feels really nice.”

“I’m no good for anyone,” Joel’s words vibrated against her cheek with him starting to pepper faint kisses there. This was an odd way to have such a serious conversation, but she liked it. “Especially someone like you.”

“Someone like me?” she repeated, her eyelids heavy when she pulled back just enough to meet his chocolate brown eyes. Tracing her fingertips through the facial hair that covered his jawline made him suck in a sharp breath of air.

Lowering down onto his knees, the heat from Joel’s palm had her leaning into his touch with him caressing over her face, “Someone perfect. Someone delicate. Someone who deserves better than someone like me. I never know the right thing to say. I’m angry all the time. You don’t need that in your life.”

Dragging his thumb across her bottom lip, Joel’s breathing grew uneven with his eyes following the movement, “I don’t understand this. Whatever it is going on between us. We only just met, but I’m addicted to you.”

Kissing faintly at the pad of his thumb drew him in closer to her. There was a longing in his eyes that had a fire burning deep within her.

“Not just because you want to fuck me?” she recalled what he had said the night before evoking him to let out a raspy laugh.

“I won’t lie, I do desperately want to sleep with you,” Joel confessed with a grunt, his nose nuzzling in against hers again. Hearing that excited her. Especially since she had a yearning for him as well. “But that’s not the only reason I like you. I don’t know what it is, but when you touch me…even if it’s you touching my face…”

“You’re touch starved,” she heard the pant that he released with her dragging her hand across the side of his neck and up over his face. Cuddling his head into her touch, Joel’s lips parted and his long eyelashes fluttered to a close. “You are so beautiful.”

Hearing her call him beautiful made a tiny smile tug at his lips and she was certain he was thinking that was an odd way to describe a man like him, “Would you hold me?”

“Are you sure?” Joel confirmed with her, but it didn’t take long for her to nod. Setting aside the coffee he got for her, she stood up from the chair to have Joel lower down into it. Helping to lead her back into his lap, Joel managed to wrap them both up in the blanket with his arms wrapping around her to hold onto her. Nuzzling his nose in against the side of her neck, Joel hummed as he placed tiny kisses there as well. “I’m a mess.”

“I know,” she agreed with him, an involuntary smile pressing in over her lips with her stroking her fingers through his dark messy hair. “But I am too.”

For a while she just sat in his arms, enjoying the way the fire worked to warm her up as well as the warmth of his body surrounding hers. At some point the television had drawn her attention and she saw that a love scene was on the screen.

“You know, no one has ever made love to me like that,” she commented seeing that the two characters were laying in front of a fireplace wrapped up in blankets. “In the movies, love scenes seem so perfect…”

“Movies are completely unrealistic,” Joel reminded her with a scoff, grunting with a laugh when she swatted at his chest. “I’m just saying. Love scenes are a fabricated lie that people use to make women swoon. To believe in something more. But no one has sex like that.”

“Well that’s a shame,” she suggested liking the way that Joel rubbed his cheek in against hers again with his facial hair scratching at her skin. “Women wait a lifetime for moments like that and it never happens.”

“That’s what the film industry does. Sets people up to be let down,” Joel hinted, pulling her in closer to him with a long sigh.

“You know,” she pulled her attention away from Joel for just a moment to look at Joel’s tree. “I’m surprised how bare your tree is. You barely have any decorations in here. Whereas at the inn? Everything is covered.”

“I told you that was more Tommy and Maria,” Joel stole a quick look back at his tree, grunting out at the sight of it. “Tommy put that up. He wanted me to have something for Christmas. It’s not really my thing. It brings back feelings for me that I don’t like having. I’m sure…I’m sure you understand.”

“I don’t know what happened to you, but I do understand why you feel the way you do,” she swept her thumb in over his jawline, getting his dark eyes to lock with hers. “Whatever happened Joel, I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Joel frowned, turning in toward her hand to place a kiss over the center of her palm. Curling his finger in underneath her chin, Joel led her to him, capturing her lips in a lingering kiss. It was sweet, almost romantic. And by the time they separated her heart felt like it was going to pound right out of her chest. “I shouldn’t feel this way this fast.”

“It’s okay,” she hushed him, outstretching her fingers to trace in over the lines of his face. A loud exhaled escaped him and the way he looked at her took her breath away. “Joel? Do you think you could teach me how to play the guitar?”

“Right now? Is that what you want to do?” Joel’s head tipped back, lifting to grab a loose hold of her hand. Confirming with a nod, she felt Joel shifting her weight and she shakily stood to her feet. Taking care of the fireplace, Joel held his hand out to hers and tipped his head in the direction of his stairs. “You want me to carry you?”

“I think I can handle it,” she responded feeling silly that he had to carry her as much as he did already. Wiggling her legs, she could tell that they still were numb but she thought she would be good enough to move.

“Follow me,” he ordered, smirking when he held his hand out to hers. Without question, she hooked her fingers with his and he led her unhurriedly up the stairs. One thing she noticed about Joel’s house was a lot of it was covered in paintings and not so many photos. This could have been anyone’s home really. Reaching the second floor, she knew that this would be a place she’d love to explore just to get to have a better understanding of Joel. Leading her to one of the rooms, Joel kept a hold of her hand when he flicked the switch on for his office. “This is where I uh…make things.”

“Make things?” she looked around his work room not knowing where to look first. Several acoustic guitars were hanging on the wall. There were shelves with multiple carvings resting on them. Letting go of Joel’s hand she moved over toward them to inspect each one of them. Reaching for one of them, she took it off the shelf to observe it. The carving was a very detailed one of a grizzly bear standing on a large rock after catching a fish in its mouth. A few of the carvings were left unfinished, but this one? Everything was done along with the painting of it. And it was amazing. “You did this?”

“Yeah,” Joel stood at the center of the room, his hands in his pockets with his shoulders slouching forward. When she looked to him it seemed like he might have been embarrassed when she returned it and then reached for another one that he did. “I like to keep my mind busy. I look at pictures and then I uh, well I carve them.”

“These are amazing,” she applauded him on his work, setting them down and then moving over toward where the acoustic guitars were hanging. “And you make these as well?”

“I do,” Joel was quiet while she gazed upon his work. “Those are probably my favorite thing to make. When people ask me for one, I like to try to fit their personality to it. I told you I loved music growing up, so I’m drawn to that kind of stuff.”

“These are impressive Joel,” she continued to make her way around the room stopping at one of his work benches to look at the carving he was working on. It was partially done, but it was easy to tell that it was rodeo themed with a cowboy riding a horse that was on its back legs. “I could never do something like this.”

“Well, like I said…” Joel headed over toward the acoustic guitar that was at the corner of the room. Picking it up, Joel held it in his hands and headed over toward one of the seats to sit down. “You’re good with your hands. And I’m good with mine. Just in other ways.”

“No kidding,” she agreed with him hearing him starting to strum a few chords behind her while she took her time looking upon his next work bench where he obviously made his acoustic guitars. “This is impressive.”

“Mhmm…” Joel didn’t want to act like it was a big deal because it was something he just did in his spare time. It wasn’t like it was much of a big deal for him. After she felt like she had invaded his privacy enough, she reached for one of the chairs and pulled it before him. “Did you have any kind of music training when you were younger?”

“Nothing extensive,” she found herself in awe that Joel could just continue to play a tune like it was nothing while sharing a conversation with her. “How many songs do you know by heart?”

“Don’t know,” Joel slurred, his southern drawl growing deeper as she slid in closer to him. “Lots I reckon.”

“How do you remember them all?” she heard Joel easily change to a different recognizable song without even stumbling or having any problems at all.

“Do you have to look at an instruction manual every time you do a surgery?” Joel inquired, his right eyebrow arching drawing out a smirk from her. Shaking her head, Joel snickered to himself and sighed loudly. “Then I guess in the same way you don’t have to do that.”

“Will you sing for me?” she pushed remembering that Joel had told her that he wanted to be a singer when he was younger. “Please?”

“Nope,” he stuck to his guns, changing the tune again impressing her with how easily he seemed to do it. “I don’t sing in front of people.”

“You’re going to sing for me at some point,” she claimed, her head bobbing about causing Joel to snort and dramatically shake his head. “I’m going to hear that voice and you are going to want to play for me when you do.”

“Sorry, not gonna happen,” Joel refused once more eliciting a frustrated sound from her. “Even if you use that cute little frown on me, I won’t do it. I’ve already let you know too much as it is. You coming into my house? This? It’s a big deal.”

“Do you have to kill me now?” she mocked, her eyebrows bouncing up pulling out a raspy laugh from inside of him. Hearing him laugh like that had a warmth flooding throughout her body.

“I might,” Joel grumbled, his one dimple very prominent with the smile still over his lips. “Gotta keep my secrets, y’know?”

Resting her elbows on her knees, she lowered down to get comfortable while he played the guitar, “Tell you what? How about I make you one of my acoustic guitars to make up for my lack of singing around you. Would you like that?”

“You’d do that?” she seemed excited at the idea and he gave her a single nod appreciating that she seemed to want that. “That’d be awesome.”

“Okay then,” Joel stopped playing and stood up from the chair to move over to place the guitar in her hands. Watching her adjust it made him smirk and he immediately shook his head. “No, don’t hold it like that.”

Kneeling down in front of her, Joel took her hands to show her the proper way to hold onto the guitar. Really, she did her best to listen to Joel explaining things to her, but she was having issues. Distracted would be an understatement. Joel was going over the parts of the guitar with her, explaining things and she listened, but at the same time she was just enjoying being close to him.

By the time Joel was teaching her simple chords after grabbing her a guitar pick, she felt a chill running down her spine. Joel was standing behind her, his hands helping to move hers and she just liked having him near. For a while she did her best to focus and while she learned some things, having Joel’s head so close to hers drew her to look upon him.

“Everything okay?” Joel noticed that she was staring at him and he gave her a weak smile.

Not knowing exactly what to say, she lowered down the guitar and turned in her seat toward him, “Can I be honest with you?”

“You have been thus far. So I’d expect nothing else from you,” Joel reminded her noticing the uneasiness in her body when she looked down. “Hey?”

“You’re my favorite thing about this town,” she declared, her eyes lifting once more having Joel swallow down hard with his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “I thought of leaving tomorrow, but nothing inside of me wants to truly do that because I like spending time with you. Call me pathetic, call me what you want, but being around you? It just feels good.”

Dropping his stare to her lips, Joel’s breathing grew louder. Curling his fingers around the back of her neck, Joel led her to him to steal another kiss from her. At first his kisses were gentle and delicate. Soft sweeps of his lips over hers led her to lean in closer to him. Kissing him felt incredible and it was addictive.

Pulling away from the kiss for a moment, Joel grabbed a hold of the guitar to set it aside carefully. Standing up had her following him moving from the chair eager to meet him in another passionate kiss that had him wrapping her up in his arms.

Picking her up had her gasping against his mouth as he stumbled over toward one of his free desks. Lowering her down on top of it, Joel growled with the way that she cupped his face. Tender strokes of her thumbs against the side of his face had his lips parting. Having her touching him had chills flooding down his spine. No one had this kind of effect on him. Especially not this fast.

“I don’t want you to leave,” Joel confessed, pressing his forehead to hers. A tremoring breath escaped his lips. And in that moment? She saw desperation in his eyes. The idea of her leaving actually upset him. Leaning into her touch, Joel knew that he craved to have her near him. How he felt for her? It was indescribable. “Please don’t run away because of me. I know I’m hard to care for…”

Brushing her fingers through his messy hair, she gazed up seeing just how emotionally broken Joel really was. Conflicting emotions flooded throughout Joel, but she could see that she meant something to him. What he needed was what Tommy said earlier. Someone who wouldn’t give up on him because he was too trapped in what he was used to. Which was torturing himself.

Hushing him, she leaned in to press faint kisses over his lips. Having him panic about her leaving was not her intentions. Sliding her hands down in over the sides of his neck, she lowered them even further and dragged the backs of her hands over the front of his chest. Starting to work open the buttons of his shirt had Joel’s breathing broken, his forehead pressing in against hers. Helping her, Joel managed to get his shirt down his body allowing it to fall at his feet on the floor. Almost immediately her hands were reaching for the bottom of his t-shirt working it from his body.

Grunting out, Joel lifted his arms aiding to get it off him. Dropping the t-shirt down on the ground, she lowered her stare to gaze upon his naked torso. It was the first time that she actually got to see him completely shirtless. And she wanted to take all of him in. Placing her hands gently in over the center of Joel’s chest had his lips parting with his eyelids growing heavy. Right now she wanted to learn all of him. Tracing her fingers along the lengths of his abdomen had him sucking in a sharp breath of air.

“I haven’t had someone touch me like this in a long time,” Joel reminded her of something he had said previously when they were fooling around. Watching her touch him, Joel licked his lips when she drew shapes down over the lengths of his body toward the softer part of his stomach under his bellybutton. “I’m sorry for the way I’m acting.”

“I like it,” she quieted him, shaking her head with Joel’s long eyelashes fluttering. While he was panicked, she was in awe of him. There was a vulnerability in him that was easy to pick up on with her tracing lines over his torso. Reaching his lower abdomen, it was then she finally noticed the significant scarring that was there. How she had missed this before blew her mind. Dragging her fingertips over the puckered flesh drew out a nervous sound from Joel. Shakily, he reached for her hands to stop her.

“Joel,” she shook her head, using her free hand to get him to relax. Sliding in closer to the edge of the table, she hovered her lips in over his. Even though he was uneasy with his body, she appreciated every part of him. “Your scars, mental or physical, they make you who you are. And who you are is beautiful.”

Releasing a tremoring breath, Joel’s fingers were fast to grab for the hoodie that he had given her. Quickly he helped her get it from her body much like she had done with him. Tossing it onto the floor with his shirts, Joel panted realizing that he was eager. Not hesitating in his movements, he grabbed a hold of her t-shirt next. Locking eyes with her, Joel could sense that she became nervous in that moment. Tugging the material up her body, Joel stopped at her arms. With a nod, she lifted her arms for him allowing him to pull it from her body. A long exhale escaped his throat when her breasts were revealed to him for the first time with a slight bounce from the movement. Dropping the t-shirt at his feet, Joel’s hands pressed faintly in over her sides while she sank her fingers into his hair.

“You are breathtaking,” Joel whispered, his thumbs sweeping at the area just below her ribcage. It had her arching in closer to him with his hands sliding further up to cup tenderly at the underside of her breasts. Whimpering at the sensation, she pulled Joel in closer to her having his forehead pressing against hers. Bringing their bodies closer together, Joel wrapped her up in his arms. Her breasts pressed against his chest with his nose nuzzling in against the side of her neck. The skin-to-skin contact felt amazing with both of them tracing the lengths of the others body with lazy, lingering strokes of their fingertips.

Joel wasn’t a very verbal lover, but the reaction of his body to hers was more than enough making her realize what he was feeling. Wet kisses were being pressed against her shoulder, the sensation of his facial hair scratching against her skin evoking shivers throughout her body.

“You are so beautiful,” Joel mirrored her sentiment with his mouth finding its way to her neck. Nipping at her flesh, Joel’s mouth started to trail a line in over her collarbone. Resting his head against her chest, Joel’s right hand caressed up over the front of her abdomen until his thumb came in direct contact with her nipple. Circling it faintly with the rough pad of his thumb, Joel groaned out with the sound she made when he did it. Dropping his head down, Joel’s mouth surrounded her breast dragging the length of his tongue across the flesh. Teasing his tongue around the small bud in circular motions, Joel heard her moaning out and the ache inside of his body grew larger. A firm tug of her fingers at his hair had him lifting his head back to meet her in a hungry kiss. Brushing his tongue against hers, Joel’s body started to tremble as her hands dropped down to start working open the belt in his jeans. Cupping her face firmly, Joel wanted to keep his eyes locked with hers as she worked open his pants.

Tugging at his jeans, she got his pants open and parted them causing Joel to step forward. Teasing her fingertips at his hips, she caressed at his sides and up over his body again. Leaning back, Joel looked down between the two of them. Sweeping his thumb in over her jawline had her leaning into his caress. In that moment she noticed something and reached for Joel’s wrist.

“Joel?” she seemed worried with her eyes centering in over his watch that was on his wrist. What had worried her was that the watch appeared to be broken with a crack over it. “Did we do this?”

“Don’t,” Joel warned, pulling back and away from her lowering his hand down at his side to keep her from looking at it.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how that happened,” she apologized assuming that they had done it with him carrying her over toward the table. “I can pay for that to get fixed and…”

“It’s been like that for a while,” Joel explained forcing himself to look away from her. Huffing out, Joel reached down to grab the t-shirt he had taken from her body and the hoodie. Holding them out toward her, Joel’s jaw flexed and he appeared angry almost immediately. Why was this happening again? “This was a bad idea. Get dressed. I’ll get you a ride back to the inn.”

“Joel?” she breathed out shocked at how quickly he turned on her with him grabbing his t-shirt to pull it back on. Hastily pulling the t-shirt she had in over her body, she was quick to follow Joel out of the room reaching to grab his wrist before he could leave. “What did I do?”

“Nothing. You did nothing,” Joel snapped at her getting a chill to run down her spine at how fast his attitude seemed to change when she noticed his broken watch. Some kind of switch had been flicked inside of him and that man that was desperate to be near her suddenly seemed to want to push her away again. “I just think it’s best for you to leave.”

“Stop,” her voice raised, hooking her fingers tighter around Joel’s wrist to force him from leaving. Pulling him back to her, she closed the distance between the two of them with her palm caressing in over the side of his face getting him to look at her. “I don’t know what’s going on with you and I won’t pretend that I understand but stop pushing me away from you.”

“I can’t do this,” Joel confessed with his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat, a sense of sadness flooding throughout his features. Lifting her other hand, she caressed at the sides of his face having him whimpering.

“Can’t do what?” she tried to understand, being empathetic to whatever his situation was. “You don’t have to hide yourself from me Joel. Whatever is going on, I’ll understand it. We can work through it. I know what it feels like to be broken.”

“I don’t want you hurt,” Joel stressed to her, lifting his hands to curl his fingers around her wrists to stroke his thumbs at her pulse points. Within time his expression softened, the lines in his face becoming less prominent. A broken breath escaped him and she realized that was his way of putting a wall up between them, but she was doing her best to break it down in whatever ways she could. “I told you…”

“You’re poison,” she repeated what he had said before, his body tremoring as she closed the distance between them. “But you see? As stupid as it sounds, I’m a doctor. And whatever you think is going to happen to me, it won’t.”

“It’s not just that,” Joel grunted, his body incredibly tense as he stood before her. “I don’t deserve to have anything good in my life. What I had before this…”

“Joel,” she hushed him noticing that he was starting to get worked up again. Stepping forward, she wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. Resting her head against the center of his chest, she listened to the sound of his heartbeat. Having her near caused his heartbeat to go faster. “You don’t have to tell me what happened or what you are going through but stop pushing me away. Because I’m just going to keep coming back.”

After hearing her say that, Joel lowered his head and nestled his chin in over the top of her head. Wrapping her up in his arms, Joel let out a tremoring breath and she knew that he was loosening up to things, “There is something in you that heals a part of me. Things that I didn’t think I was capable of…”

Tipping her head back, she stared up into Joel’s dark eyes and shook her head, “let me do that for you.”

“I’m so broken,” Joel confessed with her hand sliding up to caress in over the center of his chest. “I’m no good.”

“Let me be the judge of that,” she countered, reaching for his hand to place it in over the center of her chest. Joel’s dark eyes gazed between them with his body faintly shaking. “Because I see parts of you that I don’t even think you realize exist. Just let me help you.”

Emotions flooded through his face and without saying anything, Joel grabbed a hold of her hand leading her toward his bedroom. Laying down at the center of the bed had her carefully crawling in beside him with them facing each other.

Reaching for his hand, she hooked her fingers with his and Joel pressed his forehead up to hers. Silence surrounded them, but it was obvious things were weighing heavy on Joel’s mind, “There so much good to you Joel Miller. You just have to give yourself a chance to see.”

----

Tags: @jdmorganz @carolineesnell @ayumi-wolf @dilfsandmartinis @christinamadsen

@brittmb115 @thegirlwiththemostcake3

#Joel Miller #Joel Miller fanfiction #Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x you #Pedro Pascal #The Last of Us #The Last of Us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #Joel Miller Imagine #Joel Miller Smut #Pedro Pascal Character fanfiction #Christmas in Jackson #Tommy Miller

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bellamoooon · 1 day ago

Text

Shitty draft <333

I love my queen tashi but I need her to be a villain for this teehee

Arts grandma loved his long blonde curls, and would point it out every time they talked.

“Have you cut your hair short Artie? You know how much I love those curls of yours”

And if he was completely honest, he actually didn’t hate his long hair, in fact, most girls he would talk to would always say how much they loved his hair.

Especially you, he loved that you adored his hair; how you’d runs your fingers through his thick blonde curls or how occasionally you would braid some strands when cuddling and talking.

But that all took a turn, when he got with Tashi —who by the way did not like his long hair— he immediately chopped it down to a short length but not too short.

She always said his hair would get sweaty, making it annoying during matches, plus she said he look like a little kid with his curls, leading to the decision.

So now in the present, Art and Tashi were in the middle of a divorce, but he still had to attend the foundation’s events, so imagine his surprise as he sat next to you uncomfortably in silence.

”you cut your hair….” Was the first thing that came out of your mouth as you recognized him then going silent.

“Yeah— it was annoying to wash after the matches so…” he spoke with a bit of hesitation as the question popped into his head, what did you think about it? He couldn’t quite read your expression.

“It’s— it looks…nice” you say looking down at your hands, swallowing thickly not really knowing what else to say, not that you didn’t like it, but, he looked so different— sure it had been a good ten years since you last saw him, and you could see him age slightly but his face didn’t change.

He was the same Art, your Art.

“Tashi made me cut it” he blurted out after a couple of minutes of awkward silence, “she said it made me look like a kid” he had no idea why he was telling all that, it’s not like she cared anymore, or did she?

You let out a laugh, a hand covering your mouth as you tried to muffle the noise, Art furrowed his brows as he turned to look at you. “I’m sorry— it’s just that I couldn’t have imagined a single person who hated your long hair” you spoke almost unable to believe that Tashi did not like his curls.

“Yeah well— I kinda regret cutting it, I think I’ll let it grow back, y’know retirement and…the divorce” he slowed his pace as he mentioned the divorce, it really sucked to be him right now, he thought.

“That’s good, you always did look better with your long hair, I didn’t want to be a bitch in case it was your choice” you said as you pointed at his hair with a playful grin.

Right there. There it was.

Art wanted to die on the spot, how the hell did he manage to ever get with you, AND leave you for his teenage fantasy with Tashi.

Deep down he knew things between the two of you would never be like it was before, but a small part of him wanted to convince himself just for the night, that maybe, just maybe, the two of you could actually start over.

“Art, they need you for pictures” Tashi’s voice brought him back, he nodded softly muttering “be right there” as she turned away not even caring, you looked at Tashi walking away to then turn to Art, who had the expression of a kicked puppy with his tail between its legs.

“I’d hate to be you” you joked with a hint of tenderness you always carried when talking to him, “I’ll see you…around, hopefully.”

His heart dropped at the words, you had a longing look as you waved goodbye while walking away, he definitely hated being him right now.

I kinda hate this 😩💀

#art donaldson #mike faist #challengers #artashi #art donaldson x reader #mike faist x reader #dilf art save me pls #arts little curls 🥹

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abbysimsfun · 2 days ago

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Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 129 (Nancy Landgraab and the SanMy Ballerinas)

Nancy Landgraab loved when Ash was in the city with her family. Where he belonged - if it were up to her, anyway. Her reputation for coldness preceded her, and she used it to her advantage in the cutthroat world of business, but those who managed to get beyond her icy exterior knew a different woman.

Her grandchildren were all but immune to tough judgment from Nancy, and she was thrilled to have them together at the penthouse for Easter. Today, she had both Ash and Bridgette with her to visit one of her pet interests - the SanMy Ballet School at the Performing Arts Centre.

"Pearl said she's even better at ballet than the last time I saw her," chattered Ash from a stool at the back of the room. "I asked if she can do the splits and she said of course she can."

"Most ballerinas are flexible enough to do the splits."

"Can you do the splits, Nan?"

"When I was a ballerina, I could."

"Nan! Nan! I'm a ballerina!" babbled almost four-year-old Bridgette, tearing off her coat to copy the dancers.

(Ash has called her Grandma Nancy before, but since Bridgette started talking, now they both call her Nan. I wanted something different than Grandma since that's what Ash calls Daisy, and I can't believe it took me this long to come up with Nan for Nancy!)

Ash's friend, Pearl, was the best young dancer in her age group, and Nancy had kept an eye on her for years. In her youth, Nancy almost made it herself, but a broken ankle ended her dreams and pushed her to focus on the family business.

Did this leave her bitter? Maybe. But she channeled it into serving on the board of the SanMy Ballet Company, focusing her interests on helping young dancers develop through the connected school.

The older girls were hard at work teaching their students. Elyse Rockwell was a classic beauty, quiet and reserved. She didn't talk much, but she was polite. Nancy liked her.

Natasha Lobo was the girl Nancy thought would drop out of ballet when she was young. She fought struggles at home, she was short, her hips too wide (this chapter is written from Nancy's POV and I disagree but Nancy's a cow), and it took her forever to learn simple grace. But now, Natasha was just as good as Elyse - probably better. Natasha reminded Nancy of herself and she respected her work ethic.

Then there was Sierra Prairies. Oh, Sierra. They could be the best ballerina to ever lace on a pair of slippers, but he insisted on being, well...zirself. Nancy didn't understand Sierra, but she was a good ballerina and great with the younger students.

As practice ended and the girls dispersed, Nancy applauded with a scowl as the girls nervously made their way to the intimidating CEO. "Sierra, we've been over this. Ballet is all about performance, but it's not a clown circus. What are you wearing on your face? And your leotard..."

"It's just animal print, Mrs. Landgraab. How aren't you itching through that drab wool coat?"

"This drab wool cost four-thousand simoleons."

Sierra laughed, unbothered by the wealthy woman's disdain. "You've got to learn to thrift, Mrs. Landgraab. Way better designers at way better prices, just because some rich trendsetter tossed them away when they were ready to spend another four grand on another ugly coat."

"Sierra, maybe don't talk to the school's top donor like that," Elyse suggested carefully. "It's nice to see you again, Mrs. Landgraab."

"I think your coat looks amazing, Mrs. Landgraab. You rock whatever you wear." Toddler Bridgette grinned up at Natasha, pulling at her tights until the blonde picked her up with a smile. "Your granddaughter's getting big. She'll be with us at the school in no time."

Sierra cleared her throat. "Suck up," she said, pretending to cough. "Tash, you're pretty, but you're so obvious. She comes in to see random practices over Easter break! She already cares about the school."

"Sierra Prairies, bite your tongue. Flattery will get you anywhere." Nancy smiled warmly at Natasha. She wasn't sucking up for the sake of the school, but herself. If students wanted to be considered for the company after they'd finished their training, Nancy was the SanMy Ballet Company's most influential board member.

She introduced her grandson as a friend of Pearl Richards, the school's prize student, forgetting entirely that Ash's cousin, Tetra Bell, had recently enrolled.

"Hey Ash," Tetra said, joining the conversation as the girls finished up after class. "My mom says to tell Aunt Heather to plan her wedding to Uncle Conrad already."

Nancy pursed her lips quietly. She was learning to hold her opinion of Ash's mother when her grandson was around.

"There's no time to talk about weddings. I came today to let you know I'm bringing in a film crew next week to show off the new studio. We'll finally be able to get out of this basement that smells like a sewer, and get some great promotion filmed for the school."

"We?"

"Practice before then. Get your spray tans early enough so they're dry when you put on your leotard, dye your roots neon pink if you must, but leave the face stickers at home."

Sierra opened her mouth to protest, but Elyse and Natasha both shushed her.

"I'm asking for one afternoon without stickers on your face, Sierra. I can't imagine they're all that good for your skin, anyway."

Sierra raised her hands apologetically. "I'm joking, Mrs. Landgraab. I can take myself seriously, believe it or not."

"Does that mean you'll show up in a leotard that doesn't look like you stole it from a showgirl in Lucky Palms?"

"What's a showgirl?" Ash wondered innocently.

"It's what your grandmother thinks becomes of every failed ballerina just because she-"

"I didn't fail as a ballerina, Miss Prairies. I broke my ankle and it ended my career."

"It can happen to the best," Elyse said warmly. "We really appreciate everything you do for the school. Even Sierra."

The pink-haired ballerina frowned. "Were you really the best?"

"I could have been big," Nancy admitted proudly as the children began to head home. "Took me a decade to work the ankle back to strength enough just to run on a treadmill."

"Could you still do some moves?"

Nancy shook her head. "Not many. But I still have more grace in my fingertips than any of you."

Easily persuaded, the girls got Nancy out of her expensive coat and into a pair of ballet slippers. She bent and stretched her toes over the polished hardwood, reconnecting with the moves that once flowed through her with as much muscle memory as walking.

She practiced the long forgotten skill as the students packed up to leave, and Elyse kept Bridgette company while Sierra and Natasha goofed off in the corner. Maybe they were showing off for her, which Nancy the board member certainly didn't mind. The company was sorely low on male dancers these days, so Sierra filled the masculine steps while he danced with Natasha.

Sierra whispered something in Natasha's ear with a flirtatious grin. Nancy chuckled to herself, seeing something between the girls that maybe they hadn't even recognized themselves. But they were stealing her thunder.

"Oh, go put that spark inside in a Layla Delarosa book," Nancy laughed. "I'm practicing here." ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 2.1 Summary

Gen 1 Start | Gen 1 Summary

NOTE: Tetra Bell, Ash's cousin and the daughter of Holly and Kris, is literally five years old and should not actually be in this ballet class with these older girls. She's no prodigy like Pearl, but she aged up recently and I wanted her to be here to fill the class and show her off. The other girls in the class besides Pearl are Cristal and Noemi Zest, Nancy's nieces who she ignored.

I made them skill and then got them chatting with Nancy and just kinda let what happened happen before setting up the poses. Sierra really did make Nancy angry before I had Nancy practice ballet, and Elyse spent the most time autonomously chatting with the kids after practice ended. Natasha autonomously picked up Bridgette when she asked and also autonomously sucked up with that hand on chest compliment for Nancy. Natasha skilled up in ballet and fitness the fastest of the three.

A huge, enormous, gargantuan thank you to @changingplumbob for sending me these beautiful sims and letting me play in the sandbox with them and the Ballet mod by @janesimsten! I know @paracosmic-sims created Sierra, @bloomingkyras created Natasha, and Elyse was created by @simmerbeans, and they're all stunning! Thank you! Additionally, thank you @paracosmic-sims for sending me in the direction of some awesome and colourful cc for Sierra, which I love even more because it really blows Nancy's goat!

And an extra shout out to @fallstaticexit's Nancy in The Art of Being Seen. She made Nancy look so good as a teenage ballerina that it altered my head canon for her forever! (But in this timeline, she loves to get freaky with Geoffrey!)

WCIF Poses: Pearl doing the splits is from Child Gymnastics Poses by @flowerchamber. Sierra and Natasha are posed using Ceci's Couples Dance I poses (before cut) and RayGun @rayw05771's Ballet Duet poses (after cut). Bridgette was posed using Toddler Ballet poses by @daisylove126, which are so cute, and since they come with an all-in-one option I just played that through while the other girls skilled and it looked like she was dancing along. My heart!

WCIF cc? Elyse and Natasha's bodysuits and tights come with Jane Simsten's Ballet mod (same for what they wore in yesterday's promo). Sierra is wearing @candysims4's Let It Go bodysuit and Marzmerizingsims' Decora face sticker accessories. In yesterday's promo, she wore @joliebean's Cindy leotard with tights.

#sims 4 #sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 screenshots #sims 4 legacy #sims in bloom #ts4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 legacy #ts4 screenshots #sims 4 story #ts4 story #legacy challenge #sims legacy #ts4 legacy challenge #gen 2 #san myshuno #nancy landgraab

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the-family-business-83 · 11 hours ago

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Unexpected Calling – Part 2

Part 1 | Part 3 | Masterlist

Fandom: Marvel

Prompt: A world class contract killer finds an envelope at his dead drop. Inside are $23.42 in short change and a letter handwritten by a 9-year old girl.

Type: Series

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x F!Reader's daughter (platonic obviously), Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

Genre: fluff, action, slight angst, might get smutty but idk yet

Warnings: None for this chapter, it's really all fluff. Maybe a slight disclaimer about a lil kid interacting with a total stranger and some mom panic, but nothing bad happens!

Word count: 2.4k

Send me an ask to let me know if you wanna be added to/removed from the taglist!!

A/N: Trying to let myself just enjoy wirting and not overthink it all too much, so I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a little bit of filler but I thought it was cute and it was fun to write. And yes, I know, it took forever to get posted. I had a lot going on, and I still may not be posting super frequently but to those of you who love this series so far, rest assured: I will still post, even if it's slow.

Any and all mistakes are my own as this chapter is unbeta'd, I did all my own editing/proofreading for this.

Text dividers made by @firefly-graphics <3

Transportation had really come a long way from what he'd been so used to when he was younger. There were planes that's the air of the skies with their quiet rumblings, helicopters that you could hear coming long before they appeared, and cars. Cars were so different these days, he'd gotten used to them but it just wasn't the same. Some part of him still couldn't wrap his mind around the concept of phones being able to connect to the car. And that was just one of many new upgrades.

But Bucky didn't take his trip by air, customs were a bitch to get through on a normal day let alone when he needed to bring weapons with him. He didn't take a train either, because–well. He'd had an uneasy feeling with them ever since 1944 when he fell down the mountainside. So, instead he went by cross-country bus, and kept to himself in his seat once he got on and found one near the back where it was mostly empty. Being perfectly on time, if not a little early, there were a fewhandfuls people that he watched enter in the time that he waited for the bus to start moving. His watchful eye kept them in sight here and there but for the most part, he simply pulled his dark red baseball cap down a little lower and looked out the window to help hide his face. He could only hope that when one passenger entered with not one, not two; but three small children, that they wouldn't be very loud.

Oh how very wrong he had been. Not even 20 minutes into the trip and two of the rugrats were already whining and fighting with each other. Bucky could only stare at them in distaste as he blinked at the sight, wondering how in the world such tiny things could make so much noise. Granted, he'd never really had to deal with children, not like this anyway. And they couldn't have been any older than 3 or 5, each of them. The oldest of the three seemed to be perfectly fine and well-occupied, thank heavens but that didn't make it any more desirable

Sucking a deep breath in, Bucky suppressed the urge to ask the clearly struggling mother to turn off the screeching, and pulled out a book from his day-pack, beginning to flip through it to find his spot. Maybe if he just pretended they weren't there, they would disappear from his mind.

Not likely, but the effort was still made as he focused on the pages of the small paperback copy of The Hobbit he'd brought with him. Glancing up when it once again wasn't working well, he was caught by surprise when suddenly the older child was standing right there by his seat row, and admittedly he tensed in reaction as a sort of mini-flinch. She hadn't said a word, he hadn't even heard her walking over. But there she was, standing with her stuffed bunny in her arms, simply staring at him while he did the same. Both were quiet for a long moment before Bucky glanced up the way towards where her mother sat with her brothers, clearing his throat. "Can I…help you?" He asked a bit awkwardly as he brought his furrowed-brow gaze back to the little girl. Once more, she didn't really say anything, instead just looking him over quietly. Then, she climbed herself up into the seat next to his since it was open, and Bucky was starting to wish he'd put one of his bags there. "Hey, look, kid- your mom- ….what are you doing?"

She shrugged as he stumbled his words out, and glanced down at her bunny fiddling with it a little as she got settled in the seat. "Too loud." Her answer came simply, and while it didn't answer his question completely, he definitely understood the feeling.

Sighing slightly, he glanced towards her troubled mother once more, and then back to bunny-girl. "...Alright, what's your name kid?"

"Mandy." She replied quietly, glancing up at him a moment later with big green eyes. "What's yours mister?"

"Bucky. My name's Bucky." The man paused for a moment then, almost as if debating whether he should send her back to her family yet or not, but she was calm and quiet, and wasn't harming anything. And it wasn't like he was going to let anything happen to a little kid, so he dismissed the idea for now and instead went back to his book.

It was a minute or so later that he felt the little girl–Mandy, he reminded himself silently–leaning over the arm rest between them slightly to see what he was reading. Brows knitting once again, Bucky glanced from the pages to the young girl, whose curly pigtails somewhat bounced in the way of his view of the words. His mouth parted a fraction, ready to let something slip off his tongue to tell her to sit back and let him read. But nothing came. He didn't know how to tell the girl to get out of his space without, well… being a dick. This was a *child* it would have been different had it been an adult. So instead he simply blinked at her in silence as he debated how to handle it.

Mandy seemed to sense he was looking at her though, because then she met his gaze and inched back into place in her seat, curling around her stuffed, yellow bunny, the apology clear in her demeanor. "I just wanted to see your story." She muttered out, albeit the words likely came out a tad muffled because her bunny's head was pressed against her mouth slightly.

Kids. There was something about them that just- got to him. Admittedly, maybe some part of him had a soft spot. One that he'd probably always had, an instinct he'd never been able to shake. And maybe there was something about that moment that reminded him of the slightly younger girl that he'd been on his way to help, that made him realize he was already traveling across the states to investigate the disappearance of some kid's mother. A small gesture really couldn't hurt him. He may not have said anything, but he did nod, and as he brought his crisp blue hues back to the book in his hands, he started reading the words out to her, quietly but still loud enough to be heard against her brothers' tantrums.

Whatever she'd been expecting, Mandy seemed delightfully surprised when he began reading to her, and her eyes lit up as she looked from him to the book, leaning over once again but this time while staying back more in her seat meaning her head rested against his arm lightly, so that he could still see but she couldn't help wanting to peek. There was something about how trusting she was, about how trusting kids often seemed to be, that just genuinely baffled him. Maybe it was because he'd been so jaded for so long that it was just a mind boggling concept to see such innocence. Or maybe it simply was a brilliant anomaly that children lacked the cynicism of their parents and the adults around them, that they saw things grown-ups didn't and thought of things that were unique to them.

Bucky didn't know when the crying and whining had stopped, but eventually the sun went down around them and it was dark in the bus, nothing but the glow-in-the-dark caution stickers and the light of the full moon to let him read the words on the pages. And just as he'd glanced over towards the little girl next to him, seeing that she was well on her way to passing out completely, he heard her mother patter over looking both exhausted and annoyed. "Mandy- for God's sake, you cannot-" only then did the woman seem to register that her daughter was half asleep, not really hearing her mother much and so all that Mandy gave in response was a tired hum as she nuzzled against Bucky's arm a little more.

Well, shit. He may not be experienced with children but he knew enough to know that if he moved she might wake up. And frankly he didn't even know if she'd let him move. Glancing up towards the mother, he offered an apologetic smile. "Didn't mean to scare you…she just kind of walked on over and climbed up. Seemed like you had your hands full so I hope it's okay I kept her busy for you?" He whispered to her, stopping her before she could rage at him–if that was what she'd been about to do, that is. She looked tired, and scared, understandably so. And most of all she looked ashamed that she hadn't even noticed her daughter leave.

"O-oh…thank you, I- I mean, I'm sorry if she caused you any trouble, I just- yeah…those boys…sorry they were so loud, they're in that phase…" she apologized sheepishly in hushed tones of her own, rubbing her palms against the fronts of her jeans as her gaze flicked between her daughter and the quiet stranger of a man. "I passed out and then I…I woke up and she was gone, I'm so sorry sir."

"Not a problem, honestly. She's pretty decent company, let me read in peace with her." Reading that nervousness on the woman’s features, he paused for a moment before shrugging his free shoulder up. "Don't sweat it, I shoulda sent her back…I was going to, believe me but uh. Well, at least now you get a break, right?" He tried to ease her nerves, but then glanced down towards Mandy. "I can carry her back to your seat if you'd like."

He was just so damned kind, she thought. A complete stranger and yet her daughter was clearly safe and well, asleep even and yes, now everything was quiet and she had some time to relax. It didn't stop her mom-dar from going off, but at the very least she'd be a fool to not appreciate his kindness. "No, no it's… it's okay, I don't want to wake her, she's a bit of a light sleeper…just uh, if she wakes up let me know. I'm Erin, by the way…in case that helps." This time it was her turn to offer a kind smile.

"Bucky. Nice to meet you…I'll keep it in mind, hopefully she lets you have a break though." He chuffed an amused breath out his nose.

Doing the same, she shook her head. "Yeah, if only. Thanks, again…I'll let you uh. Read in peace." She teased lightly, taking a hand back through her hair as she went back to her seat before the driver could reprimand her for standing up so long.

Smiling in amusement at that, he watched Erin go back to her sons, and in turn went back to his book after a moment. It was the small things, that made life easier. The small things were what really made things worth it. Sure, saving the world and saving people was big, and it was good. And it was worth it. But sometimes it was moments where he managed to do something more mundane, and helped someone else, that made all the other shit worth it. Because it meant he was still capable of being human.

———

By the time the sun was back up, Bucky rose with it, his eyes slowly opening to the light streaming through the window and he groaned quietly at the crick in his neck from how he'd slept. Running his flesh hand over his face groggily, as he glanced around he noticed that the warmth that had been leaned up against his arm the night day before was no longer there. He would have been concerned, thinking he'd now somehow lost some stranger's child, but he saw the pigtail-bearing girl peeking up over her seat at him a moment later, watching her smile appear once more as she gave him a little wave. Crisis averted. Not like there was anywhere she could really go on a bus, but still.

Despite still being a bit plagued by morning sleepiness, he smiled back and gave the girl a small wave of his own before watching her sink back into her seat properly. Probably at the urging of her mother. His sleepiness didn't last long, though, because soon those boys were back to making noise, but at least it wasn't as much of a headache as yesterday because it was merely them playing and babbling about random things. That was tolerable. And so he relaxed a bit more, rolling out his neck some before he picked up his book again and went on reading.

Somewhere along the way, the lone mother with her trio of children had reached their stop and were gathering their things to leave. It was Mandy who escaped her mother's sight once again to go see the kind man at the back of the bus who had read to her, bunny still in her arms but this time with a warm smile in place. "Hi Mr. Bucky! Mommy said I shouldn't bother you again… but I just wanted to say I liked your story and you're very nice." She didn't give him time to process all of that before she climbed up in the same seat as before, and kissed his cheek for a moment before hearing her mother call her name.

"You're welcome, Mandy. I think your mom needs you though, better get going." He encouraged even as he seemed surprised by her display of affectionate gratitude. The little girl wiggled back down from the seat then, but not without turning to wave at him, walking backwards to do so. "Bye Mr. Bucky!" She rushed the words out before running along to catch up to her mother. Watching her run along, he smiled at her little goodbye, and waved back at her as she went on her way. He wished that woman luck with her undoubtedly trouble-filled journey, honestly. Because he had his own coming up and somehow he felt like she was going to have it harder.

The rest of his ride went on rather uneventful, and when he arrived at his stop it was almost nighttime. But he was all the more closer to getting this job done, so saddling himself up with all his bags, he made his way into town and started heading for the address he'd gotten on the envelope.

Tags: @baw1066 @fluffydanger @vicmc624 @sjsmith56 @capswife @dispatchvampire @sofi1sstuff @sarbear94 @impeterporker @hhiggs @safiraish @kayden666 @saltedcoffeescotch @mcubuckyandsteve @thebuckybarnesvault @himikotoga

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vampworks · 1 day ago

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At Last

Pairing(s): Caleb xreader (platonic) Sylus x reader x Zayne( love triangle)

Caleb chooses the worst way to announce his homecoming or in other words, that one scene in Deadpool and Wolverine. "He has risen, baby girl." "Fuck!".

w/c: 3k

a/n: hours of dying inside and here we are. I want to thank pinterest, my cat, and the monster I drank. This game has me in shambles and I will never recover.

warnings: angst, comfort, trauma, pet names, intimacy, profanity, mentions of death, mentions of medication.

To the family of Josephine and Caleb Yizhou, we regret to inform you that, per verification process conducted by Linkon City Government. Both Josephine and Caleb have been officially recorded as decreased due the accident on the date of xx-xx-xx. We kindly request you to-

You could barely stomach reading the rest of the text. It has been nearly 3 years since you lost it all. Only now had they finished their investigation. How long did they take to realize what you had years ago. That your family was gone. Caleb was gone. With a new gift of nausea, you felt the numbness crawling back up again. The dread you thought you had grown customed to.

On the way to city hall, you cancel tonight’s date with Zayne with a text of your own. You didn’t even think of your promise to let him in more. Something came up, will explain later. Far too short for casual. It didn’t have the usual warmth you had when you spoke to him. You knew he would suspect something. Hell, not even a heart at end of it. He probably thinks the world was ending for you. Maybe He’d be right. You have the spent the last 3 years trying to cope. Trying to rebuild any semblance of happiness. All of what. All it took was one text. One mention of their names for it to come crashing down. Congrats, you were still the hopeless kid thrown onto you ass from the blast. Staring at the burning remains of everything you’ve known.

Two weeks of haunting the earth with each step you took later. Everyone could see you hurting, it had made you numb to anything but work. Old habits die hard as they say. You took far too many missions only to burn through with berserk-like brutality. Captain Jenna would have congratulated your latest efforts if it wasn’t for the thousand-yard stare you had with the floor every time you spoke. “Go home, y/ln” You couldn’t even muster an argument, so you packed your bag and trudged back to your empty apartment.

Finally, at your door, the sick feeling you had feeling eased for a single moment. A pair of strong arms had engulfed you leaving no room for escape. The familiar scent of gunmetal and rich cologne filled your senses. “Sy-“ you managed to let out in a huff. “Hello to you too, Kitten.” Normally you’d return his hug but once again the strength never came. With a huff of his own, the giant of a man lowers himself to his knees. Dark red eyes bore into e/c, so he looked for any signs of life, but you stared right back with a cold expressionless glaze. Still lost in the haze of it all. “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, sweetie but please tell that you’re all right at leas.” He pleaded, his voice losing the honeyed sound for a much softer tone. “Please, y/n.”

After agonizing over trying to make any noise at all. Something rancid leaves your lips. “I’m fine, just leave alright. I can’t do this right now.” You bite. The pleading eyes beneath you once again shift with a tired furrow in his brow. “You can’t do what? I came because you’ve been blowing off my calls. Zayne told me you skipped picking up your medication and the date that you planned with him.” You weakly pushed him away, reaching for the lock. His hand takes hold of your wrist. “Y/N”, more than a little stern. It was like talking to child, but it finally caught your attention. “What Sylus. I’m tired and I just want to sleep. I will get the damn pills in the morning and you’re both busy anyway. Just please let me go before I-’ The irritating chime of your phone cuts you off before you ruin the delicate facade of control. Another sigh and a painful glance up at him, you answer the call. “Hello” The hunter in you came out and sound just as cold as before. “Hello, am I speaking with Y/LN. Apologies of the late hour, but I called to deliver a message from Farspace Fleet command center, are you available at the moment?" The man asked, his chirper tone made you even more nauseous, but you agreed without a second thought. It was probably just courtesy since the investigation message you received. The man explained that fleet FSCV-001 would be returning to Sky haven soon and your presences was requested by a colonel by the name of Caleb Yizhou. The second shoe drops. Blood rushed to your head. The air ripped from your lungs.

Sylus caught you as your legs gave out from beneath you and brought you inside the apartment. It took every once of strength in your body to keep listening. “Ma’am, he also recorded a voice memo for you, I’ll play it for you now. You shook away the tears that threatened to fall but it was too late. “Hey, pipsqueak. You’re not dreaming. Looks like you ‘ve been holding up well since I was gone. That’s precisely why I had to hurry back. Can’t give you a chance to forget about me. Don’t worry, I won’t disappear on you again- “You were now clinging to Sylus. Your nails are crawling against his back. The silky fabric bunching and wrinkling in your grasp but neither of you care. Gasping for breath as you hung on every word your lost friend spoke.

“Oh, one more thing. Don’t be afraid, I’m back now.” End of recording, Thank you for your time, Miss. You heard the bleep after he hung up. You were still fighting back the urge to scream. Sylus held you tighter, still on the floor barely past your doorframe. “Y/n, its ok. Let go.” He coaxed. Perhaps that’s what you were waiting for because you finally sobbed. You broke down the way you’ve wanted to for years now. Never allowing yourself to truly to feel what you had so tightly tucked away. He held you there till you fell asleep from exhaustion, gently soothing you while running his left hand up and down your back. His right found its way into your hair, pressing your head further into the crook of his neck. “It’ll be alright, my love”. He cooed, carrying you off to bed. He had watched you through Mephisto’s eye the whole time like he always has.

It was torture for him to listen to your voicemail while you threw yourself at wanderer days in and day out. The jokey and joyful tone hurt like knives knowing you probably hadn’t spoken like that to anyone in weeks. “Hey, you’ve reached my phone. Now come and find me. Heh he. But seriously sorry I missed your call. Leave a message and I’ll get back to ya.” You seemed so happy before. Of course, he knew of Caleb’s whereabouts. He had been subtly preparing you for the blow with lines like ‘careful who you trust from now on’ and ‘sometimes the closest to us may do the most harm’, but it wasn’t nearly enough. Here you were hurting in a way he couldn’t solve. With a heavy sigh, he called Zayne (his so-called rival) for help and your comfort. Zayne knew Caleb personally, he would soothe both of your worries.

“Fuck”, Zayne hissed in response to the news over the phone. He was headed home after a long shift but made a very sharp U-turn back towards your apartment. “I’ll be there in a moment don’t alert Xavier." Sylus’s eyes grew wide at the responsive but quickly recovered. After 15 minutes of almost speeding, Zayne arrives in your apartment with an anger never seen before. “Is she alright. How long before that bastard arrives.” Zayne scans over the apartment for you while glancing back at Sylus for his answers. Sylus falls back into the much too small sofa letting out the sound of a sore old man. “She’s not well but she’s sleeping in the back. From what I heard, there’s five days before the fleet lands. He asked her to meet him in Sky haven. He sounded genuine but it’s still suspicious. Why wait til now.” Zayne nodded, busying himself in your kitchen. Tea would do little to calm them, but it was something. Anything to keep him from going over there himself and picking up a fight he knew only would hurt you more. “What was he like, when you knew him. Perhaps he’s had a motive this whole time?”

“Obsessive.” The doctor snorted. “The poor girl was smothered with him, but she saw nothing but her protective best friend. Pushed me away any chance he could.” It was now Sylus’s turn to laugh. “So, playing house never-ending well, I take?” The dark-haired man sighed into his mug. “Y/n had proudly declared me as her husband since she was 9, but Caleb said I should stay in my place as the friendly neighbor or the dog. You might be right. Any evidence pointing to Ever in this.” “Nothing concrete yet, but I’ll have something clear soon. He says checking on Mephisto’s camera feed from Sky Haven.

“I want to see” You croaked, voice still hoarse from crying earlier. Both men are up and near you in an instant. You wobble toward them light-headed and on bare feet, before nearly falling again. Zayne wins the ‘race’ this time, scooping you and bringing you to the loveseat to sit in his lap. Sylus follows the two of you back and pulls the screen again for you to see. The crimson-tinted screen shows gleaming city streets filled with lights. In the distance, silver towers glow like Christmas up above. Misty fog covering it all making it look like a hazy dream. “Lovely, do you think you should wait til you’re feeling better before you see him again?” Zayne asked you, his voice losing the bite it had just a moment before. “No, I won’t feel better til I see…him. I want to know what happened.” You said, eyes with tears welling up again. “Why he left me alone” The last part of that sentence was muffled into Zayne’s turtleneck. “I’m proud of, y/n” Zayne whispers into your hair. “You’ve been so strong through it all but its ok if you need more time, that’s perfectly fine.” “He’s right, Kitten.”

“Thank you, both of you. I would love to go back to thinking he was gone and moving on, but I really need to see him. Maybe punch him a few times for pay back but still.” You attempt to joke but a few good hits would definitely help your feelings if you’re being serious. The rest of the night was spent with Zayne and Sylus doing their best to distract you by any means necessary. A silent truce leads to them teasing each other and doting on your head and foot. Two movies, a pile-it-up competition, and half a Hershey pie later, the three of you were tucked into your far too-small bed. But for two giants and you, you were more than happy to be squished.

One day before Touch Down

“Ok but if they ask me to sing, I’m gonna ugly cry.” You said finally grocery shopping again. Sylus had come along. After last time, He seemed the domesticity of it. “I would love to hear you sing again, sweetie but you aren’t capable of “ugly crying”. He jested, tossing another steak cut into your cart. “I’ll have you know y rendition of ‘At Last’ in college choir could kill a man, I won't even start about ‘Sweet Love’. Tears and all, mister.” “Oh, I’m sure.” Maybe everything will be okay after all. Watching you prepare for a dinner date like nothing occurred at all was nice but the sight of you breaking down like that would always be burned into his brain. He vowed that he’d always be there for you through good times and bad while you scanned the aisle for sweets. He heard you mutter something about deserving a cheat day more than anyone right now. You were right.

Moments Before Touch Down

The cold wind blasts through the fog ridden streets all around you. The taxi had let you in front of the command center as you requested but it was the long dreadful walk to the carrier bay that was miserable. The cruel fabric of your own dress blues did against the freezing air. The hunter dress code at its finest, the dark blue pencil skirt, blouse, and jacket was awful, Tara had always questioned what you had against the usual dress code, seeing your custom uniform outfitted with leather and pants no less. But you was right in end. This sucks ass.

The air was far too thin for your heart’s liking and the eerie glow of tech through the fog lighting on your way did little to comfort your nerves. Soon enough, the clearance stall was in sight with a man waiting with your name on a sign. He wore the same dress as blues Caleb used to when he first enlisted. “Hello miss y/ln, correct?” You gave a curt nod before putting on a smile. You were trying your hardest not to go numb again. You promised yourself and the boys that you would be ok and present. “Great, the colonel did make a last minute request of you.” You sighed, mentally prepared for whatever he could’ve thrown you now. “The colonel spoke about your singing to the higher ups and you’ve been invited to officially welcome the fleet home with a song.” “Shit” you mumbled beneath a cough saving to save face. If the officer had heard he played no mind. You had definitely jinxed it in the store, Sylus’s bad luck had rubbed off on you once again. Plastering a big smile, you spoke, far more chipper it was painful. “It would be a great honor, thank you.” You say through gritted teeth. “Wonderful, follow me.”

You now found on the highest step leading to the stage, highest seat on the bay as the ship finally touched down. Every bone in you body shivers and shakes. The breathes you now halted as they all file out by rank. Each group called out by squad name led by their colonel. A drone of names and codes you couldn’t hear above the sound of your own racing heart. None of the breathing exercises practiced with Zayne could help now. Only pressing on and waiting for the man who haunted you for years would bring any type of solace.

Once they had all stood in formation, a general comes and gives a speech about unity, the future, and whatever else is on his messy que cards. “And now a song from the Hunters associations’ very own, Y/n Y/ln to welcome us all home. You shot up scanning over the crowd. Suddenly your college recital was nothing compared to this. ‘Just another obstacle before I get to see him.’ You thought. The music starts and so do you.

At last, my love has come along

My lonely days are over

And life is like a song

This was cruel. Sickening. He had to have known.

The skies above are blue

My heart is wrapped up in clover

The night I looked at you

A man pushes through the crowd towards the stage. His medals glimmering was he moves with fevor.

Oh, and then the spell was cast

And here we are in heaven

For you are mine

At last

Cheers and clapping filled the air and just as you said. Some of the officials are sobbing. You paid no mind as Bright purple eyes gleamed up at you. He stares at you in awe. As if you had put the clouds into skies that he had flown through for too long. He smiles the same grin he did back then. It was him. The colonel reaches out for you, eager to have you in arms once again. You jump without a second thought. God how you had missed him. How he had missed you. He needs you like air in his lungs. The tight embrace is bone-crushing on his part, but you could’ve asked for tighter. Anything was fine as long as he never let you go again. “Hello again, my little love” You smiled and giggled at the line. Cheeks are growing hot despite the cold chill around you. “Is it really you, Caleb?” You asked, hoping to stay in this blissful dream even if it wasn’t. “Of course, y/n. I’m back. Good luck getting rid of me now.” He laughs. The sound is heaven to your ears. Memories of a childhood together you had buried now come flooding back. “Ugh finally, as if I’d let you go. I might just kidnap you and take you home back with me.” You hiccup. And now it’s his turn to hang on to your words but he snorts and tightens his grasp. “You’ll never hear me complain about it.” You shove a hand into your pocket to pull the silver chain. It shines between you two as you gently push him back earning a pout from him. The apple-accented dog chain would be united with its owner once again. “Tryna collar me, Princess?” He says already bending down for you. “Yup, then you’ll never run away again.” You say, hooking the chain around his neck. “Lets get outta here, coffee?” Tears of his own threaten to fall as he speaks.

This was going far better than Caleb ever imagined it would. He’s sure you’ll knock him on his ass later and he sure as hell deserves it but for now, he’ll wrap you in his coat, scoop up and carry you off somewhere warm.

At last, both of you were finally had a home again.

#angst #lads x reader #love and deepspace #x reader #lnds caleb #fanfiction #lads zayne #lads sylus #love and deepspace angst #sylus x reader x zayne #sylus x reader #zayne love and deepspace #love and deepspace sylus #love and deepspace caleb #l&ds x reader #song fic #the arm confuses me greatly

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plasticlung · 1 day ago

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ͜　/for the sake of the familyㅤ 𓌔ㅤㅤ♰ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ a buck\eddie fake date ft. maddie\chimney .

╰ — based on @pretty-fishy 's fake date post . ╰ — dt : @my-brain-soup , @ten-racoons-in-a-trench-coat , @joannte . ╰ — read it in full on ao3 : here ! ╰ — excerpts below the cut !

The nurse life isn’t glamorous, but it is interesting. Well, at least it is until you are stuck filling out paperwork during the downtime of your twelve hour shift. Eddie Diaz was in a groove though, letting the background noise of low chatter, beeping monitors, and ambulance sirens to blur into one another, his palm was smudged with black ink, but he was unstoppable. At least he was unstoppable until Maddie Buckly jumped up on the desk, thankfully missing the half–filled intake form pile. “I need a favour.”

Her voice was low and rushed. And Maddie, she isn’t always one to ask for help, at least not for the trivial things, although she is getting better at asking for a shift cover. One that Eddie is more than happy to give even at short notice considering how much shifts of his she has covered without complaint. “What kind of favour ? I’m not doing another night shift with Mary, she gets mean after 7pm.”

Maddie’s lip twitched at that, like she wanted to smile but she was too stressed to. Something he knew one or two things about. “No, not that. I can deal with her,” she looked out towards the door, where people were walking by and not paying attention to anything happening there. “Something bigger. Like– way bigger.”

“How big are we talking ?” Eddie asked warily and leaned back in the chair, twirling the pen in his hand. In all seriousness, Maddie and him have had each other’s backs since he joined the hospital staff, if she needed something from him that bad, he doesn’t think there is anything he’d say no to. “Spill it, Buckley. You’re making me nervous.”

Maddie took a deep breath at that, running a hand through her hair. “My parents are… they’re really intense. Pushy really.” She huffed. “And now that I’m out of the– Now that I’m single, they won’t back off about micromanaging my love life.” Eddie hummed to show he was listening but wasn’t about to interrupt her. He was there for Maddie’s aftermath of Doug, she spent more time in his house crying then in her parents house.

And he’d heard bits and pieces about Maddie’s overbearing parents; not much, but enough to know that pushy would be an understatement, that they were judgmental and were way too invested in Maddie’s life, especially when it comes to her love-life and ‘getting grandbabies’.

“That sucks, but what does it have to do with me ?” He asked once he realised she was done. Did she want to seek refuge in his house or ?

Maddie bit her lip, not a new habit of hers. “I told them I’m seeing someone.”

“You are ?” Eddie blinked. Surely if she was he would know. The shifts are long and they more or less know everything about each other. Eddie had told her about each and every one of his failing relationships with ex-girlfriends. Maddie shook her head and that’s when the realisation dawned on him like a slow-moving train. “Oh no. No, no, no. Maddie…” He takes it back, maybe he wouldn’t do anything.

#maeve's talesㅤ 𓌔ㅤㅤ♰#911 fanfic #911 abc #911 show #buddie fanfic #buddie fic #buddie #madney #madney fic #maddie buckley #chimney han #eddie diaz #evan buckley

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something-tofightfor · 2 days ago

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A Wonderful, Awful Idea / 5

Pairing: Pero Tovar x Female Reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 9,438

Summary: You and Pero have talked things through - and it's time to figure out what comes next for you.

For both of you, though, that means being open, honest ... and asking for exactly what you want.

Rating: M/E : This is a smutty one, friends. It's finally happening.

Author's Note:

The end is here, and I cannot thank you enough for the support and interest you've shown in this story. It definitely grew from what I first envisioned it to be, and I'm really happy with the outcome - I hope you are, too. It's always so intimidating to write for a new character, but to know that one of my favorite Pero writers - I'm looking at you, @oonajaeadira - has enjoyed this take on him means a TON.

The title comes from Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Thank you for reading!

*dividers by @/strangergraphics

You both sat on the couch while you ate, and Pero filled you in on exactly what had happened with the power at the party.

“Something in the kitchen overloaded the wiring.” He waved his hand in the air, fingers clutching the remnants of a sandwich. “And when they tried to reset that breaker, they tripped the whole building.” He laughed, shaking his head and swearing under his breath. “That’s how it all came back so quickly.”

“I’m glad it wasn’t anything serious.” He nodded as he chewed. “Did they get pissed at you since you weren’t right there to protect Christina?”

“No.” He took another bite. “The assignment was never to be right beside her at all times. William and I were further away than her team, and I just happened to be near you.” You didn’t quite think that was the truth; Pero had to have searched for you in order to be that close, since you’d purposely moved almost all the way across the party space. “And I got to where they were as soon as I could to assess the situation. I did my job.”

“You protected me.” You took a bite of the food he’d gotten you, giving yourself a few seconds to think. “You were there to protect someone else, and you still … You were mad at me, Pero. I didn’t expect …”

“I did. And I would do it again. I told you that.” He sipped from his cup, lips wrapping around the straw. “Even upset, I was still worried about you.” Pero balled up the wrapper from his meal and then leaned back against the couch cushions. “I was actually going to pull you to the side at the party and apologize because I acted like an asshole. But you didn’t give me the chance.” He looked past you and his eyes widened. “It’s almost midnight.”

You looked, too, and with a smile you realized that as soon as the clock struck 12, you could be the first person to wish Pero a Merry Christmas. I wonder if he’s ever had anyone with him for a holiday like this before. “I’m sad we don’t have our hats from the meet and greet.” You looked back at him, grinning. “Santa Pero tucking me into bed on Christmas Eve would be -”

He groaned, covering his face with both hands as you laughed, reaching over to settle your hand between his shoulders. “You would like that, wouldn’t you.”

“I would.” Leaning in, you let your mouth hover just above his ear. “I would like that very much, Pero Tovar.” You weren’t used to having to take such a lead with men, but until Pero truly believed that your interest was genuine - and not short term - you had no issue with being a little more forward than usual to get results. Because I don’t think it’ll be this way forever. He just needs to get comfortable.

“I kept your toothbrush.” He looked over at you, a half smile on his lips. “I hoped you’d get to use it again.” Really? You both sat up and Pero pointed at the hallway. “I’m going to clean up out here, if you need to do anything to get ready for bed.” He stood, reaching out with one hand. “I have one request though.” Arching a brow, you waited for him to continue. “Wait… and let me help you out of those clothes.”

It took a little while for the two of you to do what you needed to do, but the whole time, your heart was racing.

You figured he was nervous, too, but you hoped that it was in a good way, Pero’s desire for you outweighing any lingering apprehension he felt about the situation. By the time you made your way into his bedroom, flipping the light switch on and taking a look around the space, you were determined to do whatever it took to put him at ease. It keeps me from getting into my own head, too.

There were a few photos on the walls - mostly of Pero, Lin and William, but there were a few more, too, that looked like they’d been taken on his phone and printed out. Some of them were scenery, some of them were cityscapes, and you made a mental note to ask him about them - and where they’d been taken. Later. Not tonight.

His room was cozy, and out of the other places in his home that you’d spent time in, it felt the most like him. It wasn’t just because it smelled like Pero - it also seemed to be the most lived in. “I like seeing you in here.” He appeared in the doorway, and then leaned against it. “It’s unexpected, but I like it.”

“Do you?” He nodded, eyeing you up and down. I like being in here. “Your bed looks comfortable.” You pointed, leaning back and against the dresser. “Is it?”

“You’ll find out soon.” Pero stepped forward, his motion smooth and slow, almost graceful. “Before anything happens, I …” He stopped in front of you, lifting one hand to tilt your chin up. “After what I told you earlier, I figured you might have some … concerns.” Oh. The paying for sex. I didn’t … “It’s been months since I’ve done that. I’m careful, and always use protection. And afterward…” He wet his lips. “I get tested regularly, since all of my relationships are short-lived. I haven’t been with anyone since the last time I got results, so …” He reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out, holding it up. “I can show you, but -”

“I trust you.” You put a hand at the center of his chest. “And I know you’re going to say that it’s stupid to trust someone with something like that, but I do.” Because trust is important. He looked confused and then the expression turned to acceptance, Pero’s gaze moving over your face. “Anything else?”

“No.” He paused, and then frowned. “Well, yes.” You smiled at that, giving him a chance to continue. “I might need …” He closed his eyes and groaned. “Just be patient with me, please?”

“Patient?” He nodded slowly. “Of course, Pero.” But what does that even mean? “Do you need anything else, or are we in here for the night?” He thought for a few seconds and then moved his head from side to side, eyes locked with yours.

“I only need you.” Inhaling sharply through your nose at the confession, you didn’t even think about it before you leaned in and kissed him, the tips of your fingers curling inward and against the material of his shirt. His hands settled in at your waist to hold you close, and when Pero returned the kiss, he did it with purpose, his full lips moving with yours like it wasn’t a new thing.

You felt his tongue probing along your lower one and parted them for him, hoping that Pero wouldn’t tease you the same way he had earlier. Seconds later, you got your wish when it slipped past your lips to meet yours, Pero’s fingers digging in and making you sigh. He stopped immediately, breaking the kiss and backing off enough that you saw the wide eyed expression on his face. This must be the patience thing.

“That was a good noise. Please don’t stop.” You moved your hand as you spoke, sliding it over so that you could begin to undo his buttons. “This shirt is a great color for you.” Breaking eye contact, you watched the motion of your fingers and listened to each of Pero’s sharp inhales as you moved downward. “I can’t wait to see it on the floor.”

He snorted at that and you were thankful for it, the sound confirming that he wasn’t getting too lost in his own head about what was happening. “I was thinking the same thing earlier tonight about what you are wearing.” He spoke quietly, pulling the bottom hem of your shirt free from where it was tucked in. “But I was also wondering what you have on beneath it.”

You reached the last button before his waist and then looked back up, biting your lip. “You’re about to find out.” His smile spread slowly, the expression one you weren’t used to seeing him wear. Pero tipped his head to the right and dropped a kiss at the corner of your mouth, hands sliding up and beneath your shirt so that his palms were flush with your skin.

It was your turn to gasp then, the warmth of his hands comforting. He continued to kiss his way across the lower half of your face, lips skating over your cheek and then toward your ear before dropping down to follow the line of your jaw. Your hands stayed busy, moving lower to the button on his pants and popping it free, which gave you a chance to pull his shirt loose, too, and finish undoing it.

He groaned when you touched his abdomen, pushing the sides of the shirt apart, and when Pero backed away, there was a wild look in his eyes.”I like this. The … slowness? You are taking your time, and… it is new.” Glancing over his shoulder so that you could see the clock on his nightstand, your eyebrows shot up. Perfect.

“I’m just enjoying opening my first present.” You wrinkled your nose. “Merry Christmas, by the way. According to your clock, it’s after midnight.” He turned to look, too, and then said your name when he faced you again.

“Sorry that I am not wearing a bow.” He wet his lips, the flash of his tongue distracting you. “To make this more festive.”

“You don’t need one.” Using one finger, you prodded at the chain around his neck. “This is shiny enough.” And. “And I think you should leave it on.” That took him by surprise, but Pero quickly agreed, the arch of one eyebrow telling you that he was intrigued by your request. “Help me out here.” You moved your hands to his shirt again, easing it back and over his shoulders. “Let go of me for a second.”

He did. It only took you moments to remove the silvery fabric, revealing that beneath it, he had on a black v-neck t shirt that was stretched over his chest and shoulders. Holy shit look at him. “What is that look for?”

“I… you…” Gesturing with one hand, you laughed nervously. “You’re still almost fully dressed, and …” You trailed off as he reached down and pulled the shirt up and over his head, giving you your first real glimpse of skin.

“There. Now I have solved your problems.” He grinned, scratching at the back of his neck with one hand.

“No, you’ve given me about a million more.” That made him laugh, and when Pero reached for your hand and squeezed it, leading you the few steps toward his bed, you followed. You eyed him as you walked, mapping the way his muscles looked as they moved beneath his skin and the way his unbuttoned pants sat at his waist, hugging his hips.

“I think,” he started, turning back to look at you and reaching for your shirt, his fingers working the buttons. “That I enjoy you looking at me this way almost as much as I enjoyed the way you spoke to Christina that first night.” He paused, palming the swell of your breast with one hand and then returned to his task. “Would you say the same thing to anyone else that talked about me like she did?”

“Would you want me to?” You were breathless as you spoke, the feeling of his touch and the heat of his gaze making it hard for you to concentrate. “Is that something that I can… oh God, Pero, please just…” You broke off mid-sentence as he finished and began to push your shirt over your shoulders, his hands sliding slowly up your body. “Keep touching me.”

The smile remained on his face as he removed your shirt, the material sliding down your arms and then onto the floor. Instead of putting his hands back on your torso he used them to cradle your face, tilting it so that when he leaned in, your mouth was perfectly lined up with his. “Yes.” He mumbled the words between kisses, one hand siding back to the nape of your neck and the other dropping to your shoulder. “I would want you to.”

You whimpered at that, wrapping your arms around Pero and stepping forward to press yourself against him. The feeling of his bare chest pressed to your body made you almost dizzy, and when your fingers dug into his back for balance, He grunted, pulling on the strap of your bra and dragging it over your shoulder.

As much as you wanted to slow things down and savor the first time you went to bed with Pero, you knew that as soon as he removed your bra, there’d be no going back. And that’s fine. It surprised you when he broke the kiss and spun you around, winding his arms around you from behind and then ducking his head to kiss your shoulder. Wait, what is he…

Pero rocked his hips forward, the hand on your stomach urging you backward while the other one slipped downward, the tips of his fingers dipping beneath the waistband of your pants. Tipping your head back so that you could lean it against his shoulder, you sighed, closing your eyes. He was hard beneath his own pants, the length of him pressed against you, and when you reached for the hand on your belly, guiding it upward, he let you.

He got the hint - Pero using that hand to paw at your chest, the contrast between his skin and your bra moving against your skin almost distracting you from the fact that his other hand kept moving lower and lower, pushing your pants with it. “Pero, I -” That was all you got out before he kissed you again, the angle not the most comfortable but still welcome, as was the way he bit down on your lower lip before sucking it between his. Fuck, I am lucky.

He pushed the lace of your bra - one of the ones you saved for special occasions - to the side and then swirled a thumb over that nipple, the motion making your back arch and pushing you into him again. Pero’s mouth moved from yours back down to your shoulder and stayed there, the scrape of his stubbled chin sharp in contrast to the way he touched you elsewhere. But I don’t want him behind me. “What is wrong?” He spoke quietly, turning his head inward and nuzzling against your jaw. “You are stiff.”

“I want…” You hummed, reaching down to stop the movement of the hand at your waist. “I want to look at you, Pero. I want to see you, not just feel you.” Turning to face him, you nodded at the sight of the confused expression he wore. “We only get this once.”

You hoped he understood what you meant - that after that night, you’d never get the chance to be together for the very first time again. And I want it to feel personal, not like … not like it’s just something that’s happening. “Whatever you want.” He smiled again, hands gliding down to squeeze your hips. “I cannot wait to see all of you.”

Taking that as a sign, you reached up and behind you, unhooking your bra and then shrugging out of it before letting it drop to the ground. He watched that, lips parted, and then looked back at you, his palms following the contours of your body as they rose. Yes. Finally. You arched your back again, encouraging him to keep going, and when Pero’s hands finally made it to your chest and he touched you, you moaned, closing your eyes.

As soon as he heard that, his touch went from light and exploratory to certain, pushing your breasts together as he leaned down and mouthed at your collarbone again. And when he moved lower, you urged him to continue with one hand in his hair, fingers tangled in his locks.

He took one nipple between his lips and sucked on it before releasing it only to follow that with a few quick flicks of his tongue before switching to the other side. You would have been content to stand there for hours, but Pero straightened up, his eyes blazing as he met your gaze again. “I think it’s time we get into that bed.” He cleared his throat, both hands still stroking over your skin. “Do you want me to turn the lights off?”

“No.” You answered immediately, flattening one hand against his chest. “Unless that makes you more comfortable.”

Your answer took him by surprise, but Pero wasted no time walking you backwards the few steps it took you to reach the bed. And when your shins made contact with the frame, he stopped you, both hands moving to the button - and zipper - of your pants, undoing them swiftly. He pushed them down so that you could step out of them, but left your underwear in place.

You were stunned that you didn’t feel self conscious standing in front of him in so little, because it hadn’t been that way with your previous partners. You sat down on the edge of the bed, looking up at Pero and watching as he put a hand on his hip and stared at you. A few seconds later, his smile widened and Pero reached for his waist, finishing with the zipper and easing his pants down.

He was wearing trunks, the waistband low on his hips, and the legs stretched tight around his upper thighs. “Wow, Pero.” You licked your lips, head shaking back and forth as you eyed him, lingering on his torso - and waist. “I had no idea you were hiding that under all those clothes.”

“I could say the same about you.” He reached down, adjusting the elastic over one hip without looking away from you. “Beautiful.” Heat rushed to your cheeks then, and you ducked your head but still heard Pero’s quiet chuckle. “You do not like compliments either, hmm?”

“I’m not used to them coming from you.” Cautiously, you looked back up and put your hands out, waiting for him to take them. “Want to get in here with me?” He nodded, taking a half step forward and standing between your legs. “C’mere, Pero.”

He leaned down, mouth finding yours again, and the series of events that followed happened almost before you could process it.

As you kissed, Pero put one knee on top of the mattress and balanced his weight on it, using the forward motion of his body to urge you onto your back. He let go of your hands, sliding one of his beneath your head while he flattened the other palm on the bed, allowing him to hover over you. You moved your hands over his back, exploring the expanse of muscle as it flexed beneath your touch. I can’t believe this is happening.

When you moved them down to his waist - and then lower, palms curved to follow his contours, Pero growled into your kiss, his hips snapping forward to push his length against the front of your hip. Your fingers curled inward, holding him in place - and Pero took the hint.

He lowered his body more, grinding against you and letting you feel the weight of him. “Pero we need to move up. I…” Sighing as he paused long enough to breathe - and kiss the column of your throat - you shivered the words out. “I want us to be comfortable, and…” He backed off, giving you an opportunity to resituate yourself - and then he was on you again.

He straddled you, legs spread wide so that when he leaned forward, he could continue the same motion as earlier. Your hands returned to the same place they’d been before, too, but instead of just touching him, you pushed your fingers beneath the material and held onto him, guiding his hips with skin-to-skin contact for the first time.

But Pero didn’t kiss your mouth again; instead he worked his way down your throat to your chest, lips trailing along the length of your collarbone before he bit down gently, accompanied by a thrust of his hips. You could feel the cool metal of the chain as it dragged against your skin, your mind trying to focus on that and the feeling of his mouth at the same time - and failing. You were overwhelmed by him, and he’d barely touched you. I haven’t really touched him, either.

He dragged his tongue over your skin and kissed his way down, drawing one nipple back between his lips before releasing it with a pop. “I could do this all night.” He spoke without moving away from you, the breath from each exhale warm as it hit your damp skin. “But I am impatient, and I’m sure you are, too.”

He moved off of you and then laid down beside you, stretching out along the length of your body. When you turned your head to look at him, you weren’t expecting him to kiss you right away, his hand laying lightly against your cheek.

Wiggling your hips, you settled in, heartbeat rapid, even after he backed away. “So I have to be patient, but you get to be impatient? That doesn’t seem fair.” He rolled his eyes, mouth opening to reply - but you didn’t give him the chance to. “Lay back.” He did as you asked, and then you propped yourself up on one elbow, taking him in.

You were impatient too, but the desire to remind him that you were thinking beyond that night was more important. I need to show him that I want him. Sliding your hand over his stomach, you focused on the skin beneath his navel and above his waistband, fingertips circling over the dark trail of hair there before you moved back up, dragging the edges of your nails along his skin. Pero grunted, gritting his teeth - but didn’t look away.

You leaned forward and kissed his chest, closing your eyes as you pressed your lips to his skin. You kept your hand moving, too, covering as much of his body as you could without wavering in your attention. There were parts of him that were more sensitive than others - his body jerked when you reached a spot on his side that was about halfway up his ribcage, and he groaned at the feeling of your tongue dragging slowly over the base of his throat, the breath leaving him in a whoosh when you took the chain between your teeth and tugged.

But when your hand moved back down at the same time you redirected your kisses to the underside of his jaw, Pero stopped you, his fingers closing around yours. “No. Stop.” You raised your head in concern, but he didn’t look angry - just overstimulated. “If you touch me now, I will not make it inside of you.” He swallowed as your eyes widened in surprise. “Next time. I promise you, but … not yet.”

“Ok, Pero.” You took a deep breath. “I understand.” He squeezed your hand and then released it, and you used it to balance yourself as you lowered your head again, mouth returning to its previous path. Pero’s hand moved almost lazily up your side as you left a trail of kisses across his face, though you avoided his mouth. You lingered at the patch in his beard before turning your head inward and nuzzling against his nose before taking another breath and deciding that if you were in - you were all in.

When you pressed your lips to the bottom edge of his scar for the first time, Pero’s hold on you tightened, but you didn’t let that deter you. You followed the length of it with your lips, mindful of the fact that he could tell you to stop at any time, but it wasn’t until you softly kissed his closed eyelid - and felt dampness beneath your lips - that you pulled away. “Pero? Is everything… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have -”

“No.” He moved faster than you thought was possible from his position, rolling the two of you over so that you were on your back and he was above you again. “You are … no one has ever…” He couldn’t get the words out, but you understood what he was trying to say. “You are too good for me.” His voice was unsteady, but he kissed you in the pause before he spoke again, mouth gentle. “I do not deserve someone like you after what I -” He needs to stop this.

“You do, Pero.” Reaching up, you took his face between his hands, forcing him to look at you. “You deserve good things. You deserve to be happy. And all of those people that treated you like shit don’t matter, because the way they were to you says more about them than it does about you. And I know this is entirely too fucking much for the first time with someone, but you need to hear it. If I have to keep reminding you that that’s the truth, I’ll do it every single time we’re together, if that’s what it takes.”

He was stunned - you saw the surprise in his eyes … but to your relief, he didn’t contradict you. “If you say so.” He gave you a small smile. “Did I ruin it?”

“No.” Biting the inside of your lip, you cocked your head to the side. “You can go ahead and find out just how much you didn’t ruin it if you want.” He looked confused, but after a few moments seemed to understand, shifting back into position next to you and then dragging his hand down the length of your body. “You can touch me, Pero. I -”

That was as far as you got before he did as you asked. Pero’s eyes went wide as he felt the dampness of the only piece of clothing you still wore, your back arching as you reacted to his touch. “You are … this is…” He looked down, chest heaving as he watched the movement. “Shit.”

He touched you through the thin material first, two fingers gliding along the outline of you, and when you widened the spread of your legs to give him more room, he took the opportunity to add a third finger and some pressure, his attention still on his hand. But that’s fine, you rationalized as he swirled his fingers in a slow circle. I want him to watch.

You reached down then, lifting your hips again to push the waistband down and over your thighs. Pero helped you out, tugging them further and exposing you to him for he first time. He slid his hand back up the inside of your thigh, and when he finally touched you, you moaned at the feeling, closing your eyes and pressing your head into the pillow. “Pero.”

You didn’t recognize the sound of your own voice, but it did something to Pero, who dropped his head, lips latching onto your shoulder while his fingers kept moving. He parted you with two of them, using a third to circle slowly over and over in the space between. It felt incredible, Pero’s touch not at all what you’d expected, and when he widened the circle and extended his fingers down, you curled your toes and opened your eyes - one hand fisting the blankets beside you and the other clamping down against his bare back.

He slid one finger into you and you rocked your hips forward, Pero replacing lips with teeth as you tilted your chin down, burying your nose in his hair. One finger became two, Pero thrusting them in and out of you slowly. He was slow and methodical, entirely focused on what he was doing - and you couldn’t get enough.

Widening the spread of your legs even more, you rolled your hips to meet each thrust, mouth open as you took and released quick, shallow breaths. You didn’t even register that he’d released your skin from between his teeth until Pero’s head rose and he spoke your name. “I think you’re ready for me. I hope you’re ready for me, because -”

“Yes. I - ohhh.” He kept his eyes on you as his hand continued to move, and even though it was difficult, you didn’t close yours. You caught the smile he gave you as he watched your reaction, Pero’s lips quirking upward and his eyes darkening. “Need you, Pero.” Reaching down, you touched his wrist, pushing on it gently. “Please.”

He removed his fingers slowly, and you hummed as they slipped free. “Give me a second.” He brought his hand up, eyeing how slick they were - and then before you had a chance to say anything, he popped them into his mouth, eyes closing at the taste of you. You gasped, but it didn’t cover up the sound of his deep, satisfied groan. Holy fuck, I wasn’t expecting that, I didn’t…

He rolled away from you, fingers still in his mouth, and then you heard the bedside table drawer open. It’s happening. But Pero stood up suddenly, climbing out of the bed and then tossing a condom toward you. “What are -”

“What do you want?” He glanced down as he spoke, hands at his hips and beginning to push his underwear down. “No, that is the wrong question.” He looked back up, the smile back on his face, though that time, it was more of a smirk. “How do you want this?”

“I…” You were torn between looking him in the eye and wanting to watch the final bits of his skin come into view. “Pero, I…” He laughed, the sound low, and then stepped out of his underwear, briefly bending over before he straightened up, giving you an unobstructed view at his entire body. Wow. Ok. You wanted to touch him - wanted to know what he felt like in your hand and sliding between your fingers. You wanted to taste him, too, the thought of weight of him against your tongue and the heat of him as he came consuming you. But that’s not happening tonight.

Pero reached down with the same hand he’d touched you with to wrap his fingers around his length, which distracted you again. Damn him. “Well?” He stroked himself lazily, and you filed the motion away for later, paying attention to the way he held himself and where he squeezed just a little extra. His hands are so goddamn big. “I need to know how -”

“Whatever you’re used to?” You rested one hand on your abdomen, turning your cheek toward the pillow without breaking eye contact. “I want the opposite.” It was yet another risk to ask Pero to consciously choose a different position and approach to sex than he usually did, but you hoped that he understood why you were asking for it - and what you hoped it would signal. “Is that alright?”

He was surprised by your request, but it didn’t keep him immobile for long, Pero putting one knee on the mattress and climbing back into bed. He reached for the foil square with his free hand and only let go of himself when he moved to open it. “It’s more than alright.” He looked down, and then resituated his hand at his base as he rolled the condom on, nodding his head. “It is a good reminder.”

He crawled toward you then and leaned over, using the knuckles on one hand to stroke your cheek. “A reminder?”

“Yes.” Pero stretched out beside you, rolling onto his side and facing you. “That this is not that.” He understands. Pero closed the distance between you, his hand on your side. When he kissed you, it wasn’t quite timid but there was a slight hesitation before he fully committed to it, his full lips slotted with yours before he parted them, urging you to do the same. It’s going to be OK, Pero.

As the kiss deepened, he used the hand on your side to guide your leg into place, positioning it so that your thigh rested atop his hip. You could feel him that way - pressing against you, each shallow flex of his hips increasing the contact.

“Are you sure?” He spoke between kisses, his damp forehead pressed to yours. “That you want this? With me?”

“I am.” You nodded, moving your hand from the back of his head to his shoulder. “Are you?” He didn’t speak, but Pero reached between your bodies, his fingers brushing against your center again as he lined himself up. You kept eye contact with him as he inched forward, and were unable to look away, even as he used a slow thrust to push inside of you. Finally.

You nodded after a few seconds and then Pero rocked forward again, moving his hand to the back of your thigh to pull you closer. “I need a minute.” His voice was strained, and you could see that he was gritting his teeth. “If I move, I -” You kissed him then, interrupting his words and trying to keep your own hips from moving. It’s alright.

He didn’t need to explain to you, because you understood. You were already tightly wound from the way he’d touched you, and thanks to the way he was holding you open, you knew that once he found a rhythm, you’d be able to come from the friction of your body against his alone. And if I finish quick, he will, too.

Pero licked into your mouth, tongue dragging over the edges of your teeth, and when he moved his hips, you did, too, meeting his motion. As he picked up speed, the kiss turned sloppier and his grip on your thigh tightened. You threaded your fingers through his hair, gripping it and tugging, mouth hanging open as you lost yourself in him.

You stopped trying to kiss him back and instead turned your head so that you could pant into his ear, Pero’s cheek pressed against the pillow and each of his exhales hitting your throat. He kept hold of your thigh and lengthened his strokes, slowing down. What is he…

When he rolled forward, pushing you onto your back, you went willingly, Pero angling his hips so that he could keep moving. But when he pulled all the way out of you you cried out, fingers tightening in his hair and against his shoulder. “Why did you stop?” You gasped the words out, eyes wide open as you stared up at him. “Pero, why did -”

“I did not stop.” He murmured the words, leaning down to kiss you again as he ran the hand on your thigh along your skin. “I paused so I could make us more comfortable.” After sitting up, he reached down with both hands and widened the spread of your legs so that he could kneel between them. You didn’t miss it when his gaze moved over the length of your body, or the way his jaw twitched at the sight of you, Pero’s fingers curling against your thighs.

“You’re a fucking tease, Pero Tovar.” You covered your face with both hands. “And you know it.” He laughed, the sound low, and then you felt the mattress dip as he shifted, one of his hands releasing your leg. I want to see this.

Propping yourself up on both elbows, you looked down and watched as he concentrated, eyes moving between himself and you as he re-aligned. Pero’s shoulders rose and fell as he took and released a deep breath… and then he was sliding into you again, the sight of his length disappearing into your body making your eyes close as you collapsed back onto the bed.

He started with deep, slow thrusts as he leaned forward, hands moving to the blankets on either side of your body. By the time he’d stretched out enough that he could bend his elbows and rest his weight on them, those movements had quickened. He went deeper from that angle, each forward flex of his hips accompanied by a quiet grunt and met with a reflex thrust of your own.

You flattened one foot on the bed and bent your knee, angling that leg outward while wrapping the other one around his hip again, your heel digging into the back of his calf and urging him even closer - which was next to impossible. As you closed your eyes, you raised both hands and dug your nails into his shoulders, not even trying to conceal the noises you made - and to your delight, Pero didn’t, either.

You’d remember them forever - the way he grunted and groaned, a quiet snarl escaping his lips when you lifted your hips and met a particularly sudden thrust of his, which was followed by an equally devastating one, his head dropping so that the tip of his nose met the front of your shoulder. He kept it there for the next few minutes, his bedroom filled with the sounds both of you made, but when he spoke your name, pulling it from deep within himself, you forced your eyes open, watching as he raised his head and looked down at you.

Pero didn’t falter in his movement, and you bit your lip at the way he gritted his teeth, nose wrinkling before he was able to speak again. “You feel incredible.” He swallowed, nodding as he continued. “Fucking perfect.” It was enough to make you shiver, and you knew he caught the motion when he actually smiled, Pero leaning down to kiss you on the mouth. “Will you come this way? Is -”

“Mmhmm.” You closed your eyes and gasped, back arching off of the bed when he swiveled his hips, the length of him buried inside you. “Oh, fuck, Pero.” He switched to shallow thrusts, giving you a chance to collect yourself. “Can you?”

“Of course.” He licked his lips, nodding. “I am holding back, I -”

“Don’t.” Don’t you dare. “I don’t want you to.” Moving one hand from his back to between your bodies, you nodded again, flexing your calf muscles. “Come, Pero. Let me feel you.” You dragged your hand over your skin and moved your fingers into place, making sure to graze his skin with the edges of your nails. He looked confused for a second, but when you went lower, spreading your fingers wide enough so that you could feel where he entered you, the look in his eyes changed to one of understanding. “Fuck me like you’ve waited three years to do it, Pero.”

He sped up again, maintaining eye contact for a few seconds before he slammed them shut and tilted his head back. You closed yours, too, sighing. It felt good, the length of him sliding between your fingers before you moved your hand into place, two fingers pressed against your skin and gliding in a slow circle. But before you could find your own rhythm, Pero slowed down again, a growl tearing from his throat.

“No. Not like this. Not with you.” You opened your eyes, the motion of your hand stuttering - and it stopped when you saw the way he was looking at you. He’s never looked at … oh, shit. Pero’s brow was furrowed, his lips parted, and he was staring at you like you were the only thing he ever wanted to look at again. “Let me watch you.”

He sunk into you all the way and then paused, rotating his hips in a slow circle. It trapped your hand between the two of you, and Pero’s eyes were molten when he spoke again, voice low and full of need.

“Let me feel you.”

He drew his hips back, giving your hand the space it needed to begin moving again. You were hesitant. But when he nodded, arching a brow, you let out a long breath and did just that.

Starting slow, you circled your fingers, dragging them through your slick and spreading it over your skin. You hummed at your own touch, letting your mind wander to Pero’s fingers earlier, and when he started to move again, gradually increasing his pace to match the motion of your hand, you squeezed your eyes shut and let out a shaky breath. “Pero, it won’t…” You hummed, adding pressure and a little speed. “It’s going to be quick, and -”

“Good.” He leaned down, mouth finding yours briefly. “We have waited too long.”

You agreed, and that was all you needed to speed up more, touching yourself the way you usually did. Eyes opening again, you found that Pero was still watching you, though his were heavy lidded - evidence of his body’s response to yours.

As the moments passed, you felt your own body’s response - a heat in your belly, the quickening of your heartbeat, muscles tensing as you got closer and closer to a moment that hours earlier, you hadn’t imagined was possible. “Pero, I -”

He smiled at you, nodding, and when you let go of him to drop your hand to the mattress, he grabbed for it without missing a beat, linking your fingers together and bringing both of them up next to your head. His grip tightened with your gasp, Pero’s hips flexing forward at the same time you thrust yours upward, increasing the friction.

It was enough.

You came with a gasp, fingers stuttering as your muscles clenched around him, Pero’s motion continuing as your toes curled and you squeezed his hand. He mumbled two words - that’s it - and you watched as his smile grew, your own mouth hanging open as you pressed your head into the pillow. Oh my god.

You cried out as a wave of pleasure coursed through you, the feel of him moving within you prolonging the moment - and then Pero was coming, too, one last sharp thrust burying him as deep as possible as he finished. You felt him as he filled the condom, Pero’s release coming in spurts as your body pulled him in deeper and sent a second wave through you, making you shudder beneath him. Oh, fuck. Oh fuck, I…

Your hand fell away from your body and Pero’s head dropped again, his breath ragged as he rested his forehead against your shoulder and more of his weight on you.

Neither of you said anything for almost a minute, and to your surprise, it was Pero who opened his mouth first, head turning inward so that when he spoke, it was against the side of your neck. “I do not want to move.” He sighed and then kissed your skin, lips pressed to your pulse point. “Are you alright? You -”

“Pero.” Unlinking your fingers, you reached up and dragged them through his hair, pulling the sweat-damp strands away from his face. “I’m more than alright.” He lifted his head to look at you, eyes wide. “And I don’t want to move either, but if we don’t, I’ll fall asleep right here, and that would be messy.”

His lips twitched into a half smile and before you could say anything, he was kissing you, tongue dipping past your lips and into your mouth. I’ll never say no to this. He kissed you deeply, only breaking it when he needed to breathe… but the smile was still there and his eyes were bright - Pero obviously sated but still alert. “You’re right.” Without saying anything else, he reached down between you and then pulled out, rolling away and laying on his back beside you.

You missed him immediately, and weren’t able to conceal your gasp at the way it felt to realize that, head turning to the side so that you could look at him. “Pero, I -”

“No.” Turning his head, he winked at you. “Not yet. We will talk when we are done.”

Ten minutes later, you stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in one of his robes only to find the bedroom empty.

Your pulse had settled and you felt calmer, though you were still reeling from what had happened between you. You hadn’t stopped smiling while you were in the bathroom - even as you washed your face and brushed your teeth again, the expression had stayed put. And it’ll be there for a long time, too. Because … that was everything I wanted.

“Are you going to sleep in that?” He spoke from behind you, and when you turned toward the sound, you saw that he was holding two bottles of water, his shoulder pressed against the doorframe. “Because if you are, you are overdressed.”

He’d only put on his underwear, and you didn’t even try to keep from staring at him greedily, taking in the sight of his almost naked body. “I didn’t plan on it.” You untied the belt and let it drop to the floor, the sides of the robe splitting apart to expose a strip of skin at the center of your body. “If that’s alright.”

“It is preferred.” He moved closer, holding one of the bottles out to you. “I usually wear nothing to bed.” That was a piece of information you filed away, too, and after draining almost half of the bottle, you shrugged the robe down and over your shoulders before tossing it to the side and getting back into bed - though you climbed under the covers that time.

He flipped the light switch off and then drank deeply from the bottle before setting it down and taking off his underwear. Even in the low light coming in through the slats in the window blinds, you could see him clearly, watching his outline before he climbed into bed and moved as close to you as he could get. “What were you going to say earlier?” He flattened his hand atop the pillow as he spoke, though he didn’t touch you.

“I was going to say,” you started as you stroked the length of his bare arm, knuckles dragging along his skin. “That when you just … rolled away? It was … I missed …” Just say it. “It’s so stupid, Pero, but you were there and then you weren’t, and I realized that -”

“It is not stupid.” He moved his hand enough so that he could touch your face, his thumb sliding over your cheek. “I was … abrupt. I will work on that.” He inched closer, his cheek scraping across the pillow. “With you, hopefully.” He blinked slowly, and you felt as he held his breath, waiting for your response. Oh, Pero.

“We might need a lot of practice.” Biting your lip, you also moved your head closer, though you didn’t break eye contact. “But I’m up for it.” A smile spread slowly across his face, Pero’s eyes widening slightly before he closed them, mouth finding yours in a brief - but tender - kiss.

“Practice is the only way to improve.” Moving his hand from your face to your side, Pero curled his fingers over your hip. “I hope that tonight was what you wanted it to be.” Is he seriously questioning this?

“It started out kind of rocky, but yeah, Pero. It was.” You paused, thinking. “It is.” It made your head spin to think about everything that had happened throughout the previous evening - and the weeks leading up to it. But it’s worth it. He’s worth it. “How do you feel about this?”

“About this or about you?” He narrowed his eyes, but then grinned. “Because the answer is the same for both: I feel good. This is what I want.” He kissed you again, nodding. “You are what I want.”

His direct response caught you off guard. But as the kiss continued, his arm winding around you and pulling your body flush against his as you flattened your hand against his back, you understood that it shouldn’t have. If there was anything that you knew to be true about Pero, it was that when he spoke, the words had meaning. It takes him a lot to get there, though.

The kiss ended and as Pero settled back in against the pillow, he yawned, you not far behind. “It is late.” He sighed, moving his leg so that he could hook it over your calf. “We should sleep.” You agreed - you were exhausted, and the warmth and comfort of being in bed next to him was making you drowsy.

Instead of replying, you tucked your chin and rested your forehead against his collarbone, closing your eyes. I could get used to this. He kissed the top of your head and you felt when he relaxed, the weight of his arm heavy where it laid against your body. I might already be used to this.

You began to doze off, but were interrupted by the quiet utterance of your name, Pero’s fingers dancing over your lower back. “Thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me tonight and making me listen to you.”

“It wasn’t just me.” You didn’t move your head, speaking the words with your lips just above his skin. “Christina was -”

“She put us in there, but it was all you. You said what I needed to hear, and I know you would not have made so much of an effort if you did not mean it.” He kissed you again, that one lingering. “Please don’t stop doing that.”

You assured him that you wouldn’t, but the steady beat of his heart was lulling you to sleep, and you didn’t even try to open your eyes. We’ll talk more later.

The following afternoon, you pulled up in front of William and Lin’s, Pero’s fingers tightly laced with yours on the center console.

He’d woken up before you - and woken you up with his hands and mouth, Pero trailing touches and kisses over every part of your body that he could reach without disturbing you. From there, you’d had each other again - once in the bed and then again after breakfast, Pero pulling pleasure from you with his fingers in the kitchen before leading you into back into his bedroom.

You’d showered at his place and changed back into your clothes, which made the stop at your house short, leaving you plenty of time to get to your destination. You hadn’t talked much about what came next, or how you’d present yourselves to your friends. But the fact that they know I left with Pero and didn’t come to get my car was probably telling.

“Pero, we need to talk about something before we go in.” Shifting in your seat, you squeezed his hand. “What will we tell them? They’re not stupid, but -”

“They are not.” He cocked his head to the side, gesturing at the house with his free hand. “But is it their business? We don’t… we don’t even know what this is, do we?”

“I know what I’d like it to be.” Pressing your lips together, you took a deep breath. “And what I think it could be, but … it’s only been one night, so maybe you’re right. Maybe we should just say that it’s not something we’re ready to talk about.”

“Then we are on the same page.” He leaned closer, lips curving upward as he smiled. “Maybe we should just wait and see if they ask, and then we decide how to respond.” The same page? Really? It shouldn’t have surprised you, especially with the way Pero had responded to your touch that morning and the previous night. It was obvious there was more to things than just physical attraction, that it hadn’t waned between you after the first time you’d been together.

You wanted to kiss him in reply, but instead just nodded, giving him a return smile before pulling your hand free. “Want help carrying stuff in? I know you only have a couple presents, but I might as well make myself useful.” He laughed, nodding, and moments later, you were walking side by side up the driveway and toward the door. As the two of you paused on the front step, Pero reached for the doorbell while you froze, eyes on the space just above his head. Shit. Damn you, Lin.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He frowned, and then tilted his head back, looking up, too. “Oh. Is that … what I think it is?”

“Yes.” You chuckled, looking down and closing your eyes. “That definitely wasn’t there yesterday. I can’t believe she’d put mistletoe up after the diner. It -”

“She is clever.” Pero took a step forward, reaching out to touch your chin. “I should have known.” His gaze dropped to your lips, Pero’s expression thoughtful. “It is tradition.” Heart pounding, you parted your lips and closed the distance between you, your fingers tight around the handle of the gift bag you carried. It is. “And I did say it was not the mistletoe I was saying no to, just the timing.”

“Shut up and kiss me, Pero.” He laughed quietly but did as you asked, his lips warm against yours. You leaned into him, one hand flat against his chest, and your own heart beating wildly behind your ribcage. You meant to pull away quickly, but he didn’t let you - instead moving the hand at your jaw to the back of your neck, holding you in place while he continued to kiss you. He nipped at your lower lip, the bite of his teeth making you gasp.

But Pero only laughed quietly and did it again before he deepened the kiss, his tongue pressing forward to meet yours and giving you a taste of the mouthwash he’d used at your place.

“Well that worked out better than I thought it would.” With a jolt, you broke the kiss and whipped your head to the side, finding Lin and William standing in the open doorway, her phone held in her hands. Oh no. “Now I don’t have to ask how last night went.”

She lowered the device and your attention moved to William, the man’s attempt to hold a laugh back not at all successful. “No, you don’t.” Pero cleared his throat and stepped closer to you, his arm winding around your waist. “And now we don’t have to figure out a way to tell you, either.”

William laughed and Lin’s eyes widened as they stepped to the side to let you in. Say something. This isn’t what we just talked about. “Pero, I -”

He stopped you with a kiss to the temple as you crossed the threshold, his arm tightening. “This makes things much easier, I think.”

He wasn’t wrong. William and Lin had seen - firsthand - what they needed to see in order to answer questions about what had happened between you the night before, and about whether or not things were resolved in regard to the contract. They’d still probably ask questions, which was fine. But maybe now they’ll do it in private. You knew you’d say much more just to Lin, and figured that Pero would be the same with William.

After taking your coats and boots off, the four of you headed into the living room. You and Pero put your gifts beneath the tree with the others and then moved to sit on the couch while William and Lin chose an oversized chair, the woman curling up on his lap.

Pero lowered himself onto the cushions first, and then, to your surprise, reached up to take your hand, fingers closing around yours before he pulled down on it. Oh. Is he… “Come here.” You sat next to him, leaving very little space between you. He released your hand as you got comfortable, draping his arm across your shoulders and urging you to lean against him. He is. He really…

You couldn’t help yourself, closing your eyes as you leaned in further to kiss Pero’s stubbled cheek before whispering the words “I like this” into his ear. He hummed, fingers tightening on your shoulder. There was no containing your smile as you straightened up, moving your hand over to rest it on his thigh. I really like this.

“So.” Lin cleared her throat and then spoke, her eyes bright as she looked between you. “Are we opening presents now, or after we eat?”

#pero tovar #pero tovar x reader #pero tovar x female reader #pedro pascal #pedro pascal character #pero x female reader #pero x reader #the great wall #the great wall fic #pero tovar au #the great wall au #pero tovar masterlist #pedro pascal masterlist #christmas story #pero tovar is grumpy #masterlist #writing

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whosscruffylooking · 11 hours ago

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ᖭི༏ᖫྀ The Beginning of Us- Chapter 6 ᖭི༏ᖫྀ

Joel Miller x Fem! Reader warnings: mentions of death word count: 3.6k Series Masterlist

The journey to Bill and Frank’s is lengthy, the hush between the three of you weightier than the packs on your shoulders. Before setting off, Joel laid down the rules: no mention of Tess, Ellie was to follow instructions without question, and no digging into each other’s pasts. His tone left no room for negotiation.

You’d stopped briefly at an old convenience store Joel and Tess used to use for supplies, then passed a decrepit airplane that left Ellie wide-eyed with curiosity. But the awe was short-lived; the journey soon took you to an old dumping ground where infected and healthy alike were discarded in a futile government attempt to contain the outbreak. The sight left you all quieter than before.

Now, as you near Bill and Frank’s isolated town, the road stretches ahead, the silence only broken by the crunch of boots on gravel. You peek at Joel and decide to break the silence.

“You know,” you begin tentatively, “I worked with Bill and Frank.”

Joel doesn’t look at you but responds after a moment, his voice flat. “I know.”

That catches you off guard. “You knew?”

He nods, his eyes fixed on the road ahead. “That’s how I always knew you were still around.”

You stop walking for a moment, the significance of his words sinking in. “Really?”

Joel slows but doesn’t turn to face you. “I told Frank about you once,” he admits quietly, almost like the confession pains him. “He made Bill confirm that you were one of their contacts.” He pauses, his voice dropping even lower. “They wouldn’t tell me much. Just whether you were safe.”

The way he says it—like he’s ashamed to admit he cared enough to ask—hits you harder than it should. For years, you’d convinced yourself he never looked back, that whatever connection you once had was lost to time and tragedy. And yet here he is, admitting he’d kept track of you in his own subdued, stubborn way.

“I didn’t know,” you say faintly, unsure what else to offer.

Joel shrugs, his shoulders stiff. “Didn’t need to.”

The silence returns, but now it feels different, less smothering. For the first time in a long while, you see a hint of the man you used to know beneath the layers of resentment and misery. It’s fleeting, but it’s there.

As you approach the gate, apprehension settles over you. The calmness isn’t comforting—it’s overpowering, almost unnatural. Joel seems to sense it too, he tilts his head as his eyes scan the surroundings.

You punch in the code for the gate, and Joel lets out a scoff behind you.

“What?” you ask, your eyes darting back at him.

“Frank told me Bill only trusted one other person with his codes,” Joel comments, the faintest trace of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “But he never said who it was. Of course, it’s you.”

A blush spreads across your cheeks as Joel’s words settle in, heat rushing to your face. Even after all these years, threads of connection between you and Joel have stayed, fragile but unchanged.

As you near the house, the uneasiness grows stronger. The plants near the porch are wilted, and untended. The stillness feels too stale, too grave. Joel steps ahead of you and tests the front door. It swings open effortlessly.

The two of you exchange a glance. Bill would never leave the front door unlocked—not here, not even in his town.

Stepping cautiously inside, the smell of stale air and melted wax hits you immediately. Candles, long burned out, sit on a chest in the hallway. The atmosphere is eerie, suffused with a hushed foreboding.

“Bill? Frank?” Joel’s voice echoes through the house. No response.

Joel gestures toward the dining room, and you follow. The table is still set from their last meal, the remnants of food and wine scattered across it. Your eyes drift to the wine glasses—something about them feels off. The realization scratches at the edge of your mind, but you can’t quite grasp it.

“Stay here,” Joel murmurs, his voice reserved.

Ellie, oblivious to the strain, drifts into the living room and starts tinkering lightly with the piano. You hesitate for a moment before making your way down the hallway to a small room at the end. The door is shut.

You knock lightly. No answer.

With a deep breath, you test the handle. It doesn’t budge at first, but a slight push causes a small draft to slip through the crack. From behind you, the front door slams shut, the sound reverberating through the house. For several moments you stand there, the color quickly draining from your face.

Joel steps up beside you, his gaze instantly narrowing as he takes in the flush on your face, his expression a mix of concern and yet confirmation.

You whisper, your voice quivering, “Bill would’ve left something.”

Without waiting for Joel to respond, you push past him, your heart pounding as you scan the house for any kind of clue. You rush back into the dining room, your movements frantic, and that’s when you see Ellie.

She’s holding a piece of paper in her hands, her eyes wide and uncharacteristically solemn.

“It's from Bill,” she says, her voice barely audible.

Your stomach drops, but you’re eager to hear the letter’s contents, bracing yourself for whatever truths it holds.

Ellie glances between you and Joel, the letter trembling slightly in her hands. “It says, ‘To whomever… but probably Joel.’ I figured I fell under ‘whomever,’” she shrugs. Then, she pushes a truck key across the table toward you and Joel.

Joel sighs heavily, slipping his backpack off before reaching for the key. “So, they’re dead?”

Ellie nods, humming an affirmative, her usual bravado noticeably absent.

Joel’s shoulders sag, and he looks back at you. For a moment, he seems older—worn down by the weight of yet another loss.

“Do you… do you wanna?” Ellie offers the letter to him, her voice hesitant.

Joel shakes his head, his tone dull and void of emotion. “Go ahead. You do it.”

Ellie glances at you as if asking for permission. You nod, urging her to continue.

She clears her throat and begins to read.

“August 29, 2003: If you find this… please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open so the house wouldn’t smell, but it will probably be a sight. I’m guessing you found this, Joel, because anyone else would’ve been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps. Hehehehehehehehe. Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse. Anyway… I never liked you, but still, it’s like we’re friends…almost. And I respect you. So, I’m gonna tell you something because you’re probably the only person who will understand.

I used to hate the world, and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because there was one person worth saving. That’s what I did. I saved him. Then I protected him.”

Joel’s eyes drift to yours without thinking, his gaze easing with an ache that’s impossible to ignore. The words are hitting him in ways he won’t admit. They’re a reminder of everything he’s lost—Sarah, Tess, you. Bill and Frank had managed to build a life, to hold onto love, while Joel had let bitterness harden him into someone else entirely.

Ellie continues reading, her voice collected but weighty with the importance of Bill’s words.

“That’s why men like you and me are here. We have a job to do. And God help anyone who stands in our way. I leave you all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep…”

Ellie falters, her voice fading.

Joel steps forward and takes the letter from her hands, his movements abrupt. He scans the page, his emotionless persona crumbles when he reaches the final words: “…to keep Tess safe.”

Joel’s breath hitches. His grip on the paper tightens as his thoughts spiral. He failed. He failed to keep Tess safe. He failed to keep Sarah safe. He failed you. Every effort he’s made to protect someone has ended in loss.

“Stay here,” he says abruptly to Ellie, his voice hoarse. Before anyone can stop him, he storms out the door, leaving you and Ellie behind.

The fresh air does little to calm the storm inside him. Joel stumbles into the yard, his chest heaving, the world spinning around him. The letter is crumpled in his hands, but something catches his eye. In the sunlight, he notices faint writing on the back of the page.

He flips it over, his hands trembling, and finds more of Bill’s words.

“42.369042, -71.039714. These are Y/N’s last known coordinates. She’s near Boston. Go find her. If you’re even half as lucky as me to find someone who makes life worth living, don’t screw it up this time. You already lost her once—why do it again? I wish you could see her now. You’d probably want to kill each other at first, and honestly, I’d pay to watch that. But it’s just because you’re both too damn stubborn. Once you get over yourselves and face the truth, maybe you won’t have to grow old and bitter alone. Take it from me—being an asshole is bad enough. Being an asshole alone? Worse. Way worse.”

Joel stares at the letter, the weight of Bill’s words settling in. His hold on the paper tightens, his knuckles whitening as he lets out a unstable breath. He looks over his shoulder toward the house, where he knows you’re standing just inside. The irony isn’t lost on him—Bill wrote this thinking you were still out there, and yet, here you are, closer than he ever could’ve imagined. Bill’s stubborn faith in Joel feels like both a gift and a curse.

Looking back down at the letter, a faint, almost resentful chuckle escapes under his breath. “You’d get a kick outta this, Bill,” he mutters, his voice low. “She’s here. She’s standing right there. And I’m the idiot standing out here reading your damn letter like a fool.”

Joel’s jaw tightens as he feels a lump form in his throat. He folds the letter carefully, almost reverently, and tucks it into his jacket. His chest feels heavy, but it’s not just grief—it’s something more complex. Regret. Guilt. Fear. And maybe, just maybe, hope.

He turns his gaze back toward the house, squinting slightly as if he might catch a glimpse of you through the window. The thought of Bill watching this unfold makes his stomach churn. “You always did like to twist the knife,” Joel murmurs.

Taking a deep breath, he forces his feet to move, his boots crunching against the dirt as he heads toward the front door. He’s not sure what he’s going to say to you when he walks back in. He’s not even sure he can say anything at all. But one thing’s certain: Bill was right—Joel couldn’t afford to lose you again

Joel steps back into the house, his boots heavy against the wooden floor. Ellie is sprawled out in the living room, fiddling with a small trinket she’s found. She barely looks up as he enters.

“Where’s Y/N?” he asks, his voice gruff but low.

“She went to take a shower,” Ellie replies without missing a beat, twirling the object in her hands. Then, almost offhandedly, she adds, “She really cares about you.”

Joel freezes mid-step, his brow furrowing. “What?”

Ellie glances up at him, unfazed. “I mean, it’s obvious. She was watching you out there. I could tell she was hurting for you.”

Joel shifts uncomfortably, glancing toward the stairs where the faint sound of running water filters down. His jaw tightens, and he looks away, his throat working around words he can’t seem to say.

Ellie watches him with an amused tilt to her head. “You should go up there,” she says, nodding toward the stairs.

Joel shoots her a look—half disbelief, half warning. “What’re you talkin’ about?”

Ellie just shrugs, standing and stretching. “I’m just saying, it’s not like she hates you or anything. She’s up there, you’re down here. Seems kinda dumb to just… stay here.” She smirks. “But what do I know, right?”

Joel glares at her, though there’s no real heat in it. Ellie grins wider.

“Point taken,” she says, backing off with a mock salute, leaving him standing there, staring at the stairs like they’re a cliff he’s got to climb.

»»————————-««

You wring out your damp hair with the towel, rummaging through the bathroom drawers in search of a brush. The gentle knock at the bedroom door startles you, and you quickly cross the room to answer it. Standing there is Joel. His eyes flick over you briefly—taking in the too-tight tank top you’d scrounged up from the closet and the jeans clinging to you like a second skin. He clears his throat, abruptly looking away.

“We, uh—we gathered supplies. Guns, ammo. I’m charging the car battery now,” he says, his voice gruff and a little rushed.

“Perfect,” you reply, offering him a small smile.

There’s a pause—a hushed moment that lasts far too long. Neither of you moves.

“Do you mind if I, uh—if I…” Joel trails off, bumbling over his words as he nods toward the bathroom.

“Oh! Of course,” you feel embarrassed, but you step aside. “Come in.”

He wavers for a beat, then walks past you into the bathroom. The door shuts behind him, leaving you alone in the room.

You exhale slowly, and your pulse drums in your ears, obstructing all other sounds. But it’s not fear. It’s something else entirely. Anticipation, maybe. Or guilt. And beneath it all, the ache of memory—the way it felt to be close to him once, without walls between you, without reluctance or barriers. Back when it was easy to ask for what you needed: his steady arms, his warmth, the safety only he could offer.

But those days feel like a luxury you can no longer afford.

You hear Joel turn the water on for the shower, and the sound feels oddly intimate, tugging at a place in your chest you’ve tried to ignore. You fall onto the bed, covering your face with a pillow as you fight the surge of emotions building inside. You know there’s something you should do—something you’ve carried with you for years—but you’re unsure if now is the right time.

After a moment, you sit up and draw in a steadying breath. The quiet house feels more solemn than it should. Grabbing your backpack, you pull it into your lap, but before you can open it, you hear Ellie’s voice faintly from downstairs. You stand and step into the hall, peeking over the banister.

“Ellie?” you call out, leaning over the railing.

“Yeah?” Her voice drifts back up, distracted, likely focused on whatever she’s fiddling with now.

“You doing okay down there?” you ask, more for the sake of grounding yourself than anything else.

“Peachy,” she reacts, her tone dripping with sarcasm. “But if you’re asking so I don’t burn the place down, we’re good. For now.”

A soothing chuckle escapes your lips despite yourself. “Just don’t touch anything sharp,” you say, earning a distant, “No promises.”

Shaking your head, you step back into the bedroom, closing the door behind you. You lean against it for a moment, letting out a sluggish exhale. The sound of the water running in the bathroom hums in the background, and you can’t help but feel how surreal it is, sharing space with Joel again after all these years.

Finally, you pull yourself together and return to the bed, digging into your backpack. You rifle through its contents, searching for the item that has weighed heavy in your possession for so long. Your fingers brush against it, and you pull it out, your head pounds with anticipation at the sight of it. It’s aged and weathered, a relic of a time you’ve spent the last two decades trying to outrun.

The water stops. Your head snaps up, panic rising as you realize Joel will be out any second. You quickly set the item on your lap, your heart hammering in expectation. The door to the bathroom creaks open, and Joel steps out, his hair damp and his shirt clinging slightly to his still-wet skin. He pauses when he sees you sitting there, his brow furrowing at the look on your face.

“Joel,” you murmur, your voice thin and unsure.

He glances at you, then down at the item in your lap. His eyes dilate, burdened with confusion and despair.

“Can you come here for a second?” you request softly, barely managing to find your voice.

Joel pauses, standing in place as though considering the decision. After a long moment, he walks to the bed, lowering himself to sit beside you. The mattress dips under his weight, and the proximity of him—the heat of his body, the faint scent of soap clinging to his skin—only makes your chest feel tighter.

You squeeze the item in your hands, your fingers quivering. The words you’ve practiced over and over again for 20 years suddenly seem out of reach. Tears prick your eyes, the weight of everything you’ve carried threatening to spill over. Now that the moment is here, you feel completely unprepared.

“That day,” you start, your voice shaking, “when everything quieted down, I was wandering around looking for help. I knew I needed to get out of the town, so I found this field…” Your words catch in your throat, a lump forming that makes it almost impossible to continue.

Joel shifts beside you, his body tense. He knows what’s coming, and that knowledge feels like a blade twisting deeper into him.

“That’s when I found—” You choke on the words, gasping for air as the tears you’ve been holding back spill over. You can’t bring yourself to look at him, not when you’re this raw, this exposed.

“I know we said we wouldn’t talk about our past,” you say through the sobs threatening to drown you. “And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but I’ve waited 20 years to do this. And if this is the last moment of peace we get—if this is the only time we’re not running from those things—then I’ll be damned if I don’t say this now.”

Joel’s jaw tenses, his eyes glistening, like polished amber, as he struggles to keep himself composed. He nods, urging you silently to go on, his own pain mirrored in yours.

“I found her, Joel.” The words shatter the air between you. “I could barely walk, but I—I don’t even know how I managed it. I got to her as fast as I could. And I just held her. I held her so tight, like I thought maybe, just maybe, if I held on hard enough, she’d come back to me.”

You break, your body shuddering as you lean forward, clutching at the memory like it’s something physical tearing through you. Joel muffles a sob, his hand rising just barely as though he wants to comfort you but is too afraid to touch you, too consumed by his own grief.

“I don’t know how long I stayed there with her,” you continue, your voice barely above a whisper. “I just… I couldn’t leave her, Joel. I couldn’t. The sun started coming up, and that’s when I saw it—something reflecting the light in the grass. It was your watch.”

Joel’s breath hitches audibly, his head dropping as his hand instinctively moves to his wrist where the broken watch should have been.

“I took it with me,” you admit, your voice cracking. “Joel, there hasn’t been a single day—not one day—that I haven’t looked at it. It’s been my reminder of everything we lost. Of her. Of you. Of the life we’ll never get back.”

Your words trail off as the room falls silent, the essence of the memory crashing down on both of you like an unbearable current. For a moment, the two of you are simply there—two broken souls mourning the same loss, bound by a pain neither of you can escape.

Joel stares at you, his breath coming in uneven bursts. He doesn’t speak at first, just wipes at his face with the back of his hand, his fingers leaving streaks where the tears have begun to fall. The ache in his eyes is so raw, it’s almost suffocating.

You shakily offer him the watch, your hand trembling as it extends toward him. His hand meets yours, reluctant at first, staying for a moment as if he’s afraid to take it. The brief contact sends a jolt through you, something you’ve only dreamed about for years, a feeling you thought was long buried deep within.

Bill’s words echo in Joel’s mind, a harsh reminder that the bitterness isn’t worth holding onto, not anymore.

After a long delay, he speaks, his voice raw, fragile. “I’m just… I’m grateful you got to hold her.” His words break the silence, cutting through the heaviness in the room. Tears fall from his eyes, unbidden and silent, as though he can’t stop them now.

Without thinking, your hand reaches up to wipe them away. It’s a small gesture, but it feels monumental as if you’re touching something that’s been locked away for far too long.

Joel looks at you, his expression a mix of surprise and something deeper—vulnerable, tender. He leans into your touch without realizing it, his body finally letting go of years of unspoken pain.

Neither of you says anything more. The weight of what’s been shared, of what’s been held back, is more than enough. In that moment, the silence between you is not just a void, but a fragile bond, something neither of you ever expected to find again.

»»————————-««

Taglist: @si1versamurai @eaterof-concrete @mysteriouslyperfecttiger

#joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller one shot #joel miller #Pedro Pascal #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal one shot #the last of us imagine #the last of us #the beginning of us au!#joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine

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wowzees · 7 hours ago

Text

no matter what

lando norris x reader

y/n is not used!

a/n: this is a short story from uni- i have to make a collection of them

the one i posted earlier was also one, but these have not recived feedback from my professer or have been majorly edited. enjoy!

High school felt like the longest four years of my life. Days blurred into each other, routines became a way of life, and I thought I had everything figured out. I was one of those kids who had his group of friends, the sport he played, and the classes he took, all laid out in a neat, predictable order. Nothing ever really changed.

And then, there was her.

She’d been there from the start. The girl who wasn’t just a friend,she was something more, though I never said it out loud. We’d grown up together, laughed at the same inside jokes, gotten in trouble for the same stupid things. She knew me better than anyone else, maybe even better than I knew myself. She was the one I could count on for anything. She was the one who could make me laugh on days when nothing felt right. When life got heavy, when there was uncertainty about my future, she was the one I turned to. And I thought that would never change. Or maybe I didn’t think about it at all. Why would I need to? She was always there, like a constant in my life, something I could rely on. But looking back, I see the warning signs. Small things that I chose not to notice.

At first, it was little things— how she stopped coming to my house after school everyday. How she stopped calling me for big milestones. It’s easy to ignore changes like that. Until they hit you all at once. And then, it was too late.

Without her presence, I started hanging out with the kids from my soccer team more, and more. I told them about all my problems with her. Their solution? They wanted me to prank her. I wanted to fit in. So, I agreed.

Maybe I was too busy with soccer, or maybe I just took her for granted. But somewhere along the way, I stopped seeing her the way I always had. I saw how my actions hurt her. But, somewhere along the way i stopped seeing that. I stopped seeing how my actions hurt her.

But I didn’t think much about it at the time. After all, things had always worked themselves out between us, right? I guess I never thought I’d lose her, guess I thought that she’d always be there.

How wrong I was.

And seeing her now after graduation, getting ready to go to college and saying goodbye to friends for one last time, I can't help but remember a time when things were so much simpler.

Age, 7. Grade, 2

“Lan, wait up” she yelled, peddling her feet. I slowed my bike down and turned to face her.

“Hurry up! You're being slow.” she peddled faster. Too fast. I watched in slow motion as she rides over a rock, flies through the air as if it’s molasses, then falls in what seems the same way a feather falls through the air. Then promptly crashes into a trashcan, scattering trash all around and on top of her.

I quickly stopped my bike and ran to her. She was sitting there, covered in trash from the trash can, pouting. As I stood over her, and saw her covered in trash, I almost laughed. “Stop! It’s really not funny” she sniffled, though she now seemed a little happier.

“I've bin waiting for this to happen” I joke, hoping to make her laugh.

“It's really not that funny” she snorts while giggling.

“Yeah, well you’re still laughing” I argue. As she struggles to her feet, I realize I should probably help her. As I move to put her arm around my shoulder, she shoves me off.

“I don't need your help, butthead” she says, crossing her arms and stares at me with her lips pursed.

“Sorry, man, chill.” I say, not really understanding why she didn't want help.

“I got worse when I first started playing volleyball, it's just a little scrape on my knee. It’ll heal”

"Ok "I mumbled, feeling a little stupid.

As we walked home, we talked about silly things, like how funny she looked covered in trash, or about the people we didn't like at school. Before we parted ways, she threw her arms around me and pressed a quick, fleeting kiss that was gone as soon as it started to my cheek. “Bye Lando! I'll see you tomorrow at school!” she said over her shoulder as she ran home.

“Bye” I yell, after she had already disappeared into the house, my cheeks still red.

She had always been brave in her own way. Whether it was running into a trash can then getting back up with a skinned knee and no tears, or hiding her fears behind that stubborn smile of hers, she never changed. She was always the same, brave girl I had known since I was a kid. I wish I had known then how much that bravery would change the course of our friendship.

Age, 12 Grade 7.

The ferris wheel creaked more and more the higher up it went, carrying us higher, and higher into the night sky. Below we could see the rest of the fair, all the people enjoying themselves just like we are.

Her posture was slumped, and she was practically shaking on the little metal bench that lines the side of the carriage.

“Are you scared?” I ask. This wasn't a very normal occurrence, and I was honestly a little surprised.

“What? Me? No! Of course not. I don't get scared” she responded, her voice shaky, and honestly not very convincing.

“Hey, it's okay if you are scared. We all have things we are scared of; it doesn't make you weak.” I say in a soft tone, understanding when to tease and when to be comforting.

“I'm not scared.”

“Yeah? Good, me neither. Honestly, it's really nice.”

“Nice?”

“Yeah. It’s really nice being up here.”

“I guess it is pretty nice.”

“It's really pretty,” I say with a sigh.

“It is,” she responds with an airy voice.

Little did I know that while I was staring at the sky, she was looking at me.

Ever since that night on the ferris wheel, I had developed a liking for stars. She learned more about stars for me, though I didn't know that then. I thought it was just a coincidence, not something carefully planned. Ever since then, we would spend nights under the stars together, gazing upwards.

Age, 15. Grade 9.

“And that one’s named Altair” she said, pointing up at the brightest star in the sky.

“How do you know this?” I ask while chuckling.

“I learned it when I was in 8th grade for my science fair project. I won.”

“I know, you’ve only told me like a million times.”

“I have not!”

“Uh, yes you have.”

“Excuse yo- wow, it's like, really cold.”

“Here,” I say, shrugging my sweatshirt off. “Take it.”

“No, it's fine really. I don't need it, I’m fine.”

“If you don't take it, I’m actually gonna go insane!”

“Fine” she huffed, sticking her tongue out at me. “Thank you.” she mumbled.

“You're welcome.”

“Lando?”

“Yeah?”

“We'll always be best friends, right?”

“Of course we will. No matter what.”

“No matter what.”

Back then, No matter what seemed like an easy promise to keep. Before our future became closer and closer, before I found out she would be going to Yale. No matter what seemed like an easy promise to keep under the soft lighting of the stars, but under the fluorescent lights in the highschool hallways, and the pressure from the guys, the promise broke apart.

“Hey Lan!” she exclaims, coming up to me “Hey,” I respond. “Where are your glasses?” I ask. She has always loved her glasses. She always said it gave her more personality, though I disagree. She has plenty of personality already.

“Oh, I just switched to contacts for volleyball! It's too impractical to have to play without being able to see, ya know? Do you like them?” I actually think that she looks stunning with or without glasses, but since my friends from the soccer team are with me, I just say

“ I dunno man, it kinda makes your eyes look too close together.” I feel absolutely terrible as I practically see her deflate. Her normally radiant smile disappears, her shoulders begin to tremble, and her eyes go glassy. At first, she didn't say anything. I could practically see her brain thinking of ways to respond. She was trying to act relaxed about it, but I knew her well. She doesn't do relaxed about these types of things.

I hear the boys snickering from behind me, making stupid comments about how “he is so right” and “how can she not see that herself?” and “why does she talk so much?”. I'm actually about to turn around and tell them to shut up, and that I am the only one allowed to tease her like that, but before I can, she says something.

“Oh. Well, uh, I should be going to class. I'll see you later, Lando,” she mumbles. Her normally confident posture seemed impossibly timid and shy. Her posture didn't say ‘see you later’. It said ‘leave me alone’.

While she walked down the hallway, the only thing I could focus on was the fact that she didn't call me Lan .

The next few days, I tried finding her, though she kept on avoiding me. Finally, I found her sitting outside at the tables, eating her lunch alone.

“Hey” I greet softly, sitting down at the table outside.

“What do you want?” she responded, her tone sharp. She was wearing her glasses again.

“I wanted to apologize for what I said on Tuesday.” I say, barely audible.

“If you're going to say something, say it louder.”

“I wanted to apologize for what I said.”

“Do you? Do you really? Or is this just another sick prank you and your friends are playing on me, huh? I stood there and took it in tenth grade, when you made fun of my brother, who, by the way looks up to you, in the cafeteria. I stood there and took it in eleventh grade when you texted everyone from my phone things that I would never, ever say about someone and especially TO someone, posted things on instagram that I would NEVER post, and then humiliated me by making me think that you were seriously hurt, then jump up and say “it's a prank” after i started crying? I even stood there and took it when you told me that my eyes were too close together! The one thing you know I'm insecure about, and you make fun of it? You’ve changed Lando! You and your stupid friends have made high school horrible for me! And even though you've been rude, and you've been mean, and you've in general been a nightmare to be around, I'm still in love with you, and I have been for the last 10 years! And I'm done with this! I will not, will not sit here and let you bully me because I’m your ‘best friend’! I stayed your friend because I thought you would notice me! I thought you would realize, but you didn't! And I’m done waiting, okay? I’m done. Bye, Lando.”

By now, she was crying. Before I could respond to her and apologize, I hear laughing and jeering coming from behind me. I turn around and march over to where the boys are standing. They chuckle upon seeing me, and I absolutely lose it.

“Are you guys actually stupid? You made me lose the most important thing in my life, because you ‘thought it would be funny’? She is worth more than you guys will ever be. She was a better friend, a better athlete, but most importantly, a better person than you guys! I’m done with y’all.”

I turn back to where she was standing, but she's not there anymore.

The next few days, I look for her. I see her a couple of times, but she always manages to avoid me.

One night, as I’m packing for college, I hear someone knocking on the front door.

I run down the stairs, thinking it’s the pizza I ordered for me and my sister, but it’s not. It’s her.

“Uhm, I just wanted to return this.” she says, handing me my sweatshirt that i gave to her 3 years ago. “I just thought I should return it before I leave for Yale.”

“When do you leave?” I ask, fearing the answer.

“Tomorrow.”

The second I hear that word, my world stops. I hazily thank her for bringing the sweatshirt back, then slam the door. I vaguely remember stumbling up the stairs, and sitting down on my bed, my mind running a thousand miles a minute.

I’m going to have to live without the person who was there for me at every problem, at every bad game, at every milestone in my life, and I lost her because of my own mistakes. I lost her because I let those stupid kids influence my decisions. I lost her because I didn't know how to communicate my feelings. And now, I’ll never get her back.

I was right. I never got her back. And deep down inside, I knew I was never going to get her back. I knew this when I met Emma. I knew this when I proposed to Emma. I knew this when I invited her to our wedding. But that truly, did not prepare me for when I saw her.

“And do you, Lando Norris, take Emma Sand to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish till death do you part? ” asked the priest, his voice echoing through the church that held all of our friends and loved ones.

“ I do.”

And then, out of the corner of my eye, I see her, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. After years of knowing her, I could almost hear her thinking ‘that should have been me.’

And I feel horrible and disgusting and gross thinking this on my wedding day, but I'm inclined to agree. It should have been her. And it would have been, if not for my own stupidity.

And seeing her, brought me right back to all those years ago. And made me wonder; what happened to ‘no matter what.’

#f1 #f1 x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris angst #f1 angst

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ryuichirou · 17 hours ago

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Replies

Some older TWST-related asks that aren’t short short, but aren’t very long either. Took me a long time to reply to these as well, so thank you everyone for waiting!

About Leona being lazy, boys shoving coins when they shouldn’t, fae having nipples + some music-related replies.

Anonymous asked:

Wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Would Leona pay Ruggie (Or someone else) to give him a handjob so he doesn't have to jerk himself off?

Hmm, I wouldn’t put it completely past him lol But I also don’t think he would pay actual money for that… for some reason I feel like it would hurt his ego a little bit. As if what Ruggie is doing for him isn’t within the same realm!! lol

Ruggie would absolutely do it for money though, and I like to think that they have some kind of mutually beneficial relationships in this aspect of life as well. Maybe sometimes Ruggie helps him to jerk off or just fucks him, but while he doesn’t get compensated for that right then and there with money, there are some other benefits that he obtains for doing such an important job.

Anonymous asked:

You know the coin comic made me think

These people have def shoved things up their ass and didn't get them out anymore, some probably make you wonder how they even managed to get in there at all

Oh god… these boys and their sexual experiments… if something like this happened, it would become the hottest gossip topic for like 2 weeks at least lol this poor guy. Even if it’s just “did you hear that someone shoved (???) in their ass and couldn’t take it out” without naming any names, the boy would get instantly red. He knows what he did. He knows this is him everyone’s talking about.

Maybe it would be someone like Deuce or Epel… Hard to say though, a bit difficult to imagine other boys going through something like that lol but maybe it’s even more fun if it’s so unexpected. No one would expect someone like Jamil to get stuck in this situation, but what if…

Also, Lilia put stuff in other people’s asses before… if he met someone in NRC who is deeply shaken by the thing they can’t pull out of their own ass, he’ll gladly tell a lot of very interesting and disturbing but hilarious stories about all the things he shoved in other people when he was younger lol And that wouldn’t help at all!!

Anonymous asked:

Thought of a LiliSil scenario you might like, though maybe someone else already thought of it before and I can’t remember- General Lilia gets pissed off at Silver for calling him “Father” all the time, and rapes him to try and make him stop. Somehow, fucking Silver only makes him call him that more. Like;

General Lilia: Would your ‘Father’ do THIS to you?

Silver: Actually, yes

LOL YES general Vanrouge you have no idea how much this boy’s father loves him.

Would that make him more or less amused about being called “father” by him…

thestarlightfae asked:

You two make a good point about Melanor. There is only one answer. She is wearing fake boobs. In book 7 I believe it states that baby fae drink nectar, not milk so no fae are mammalian. Therefore no fae should have breast or nipples. As such any fae who do appear to have nipples or breasts are wearing fake ones. Sebek it could go either way for cause he is half human, but for the others, their nipples (and breasts) are fake.

Now then. On to Kifaji/Neji. He is bird beast men. So do the bird traits cancel out the nipples or do the human traits override the bird traits to give him nipples anyways?

And what about the octatrio? They are fish. Fish are famously not mammals and very nippleless. Do the octatrio have fake nipples too?

Floyd’s tropical wear groovy shows areola but not actual nipples. The same is true for Lilia. We don’t see Azul’s chest in his tropical wear art, but in his overblot form we see no nipples or areola. The same is true for his merform in book 7. The same is true of the twins merforms. So the fae have fake nipples, areola, and breast. For the mer, their transformation potions give them areola but not nipples and they have neither in they’re true for.

Anything to add to my professional scientific paper Ryu? Katsu? Other viewers?

Malleus and Meleanor, since their initial appearance seems to be of a dragon, probably have to use magic to transform into humans… I guess it’s safe to say that they just pick whether they want to have boobs/nipples or not lol So that tracks.

But also there are a lot of different kinds of fae though, technically dwarves are also fae, so maybe there are some mammalian fae? And Lilia, being a bat, once again, has nipples…

Sebek probably has nipples, but if fae of his kind normally don’t, he probably has a lot of opinions about having them lol

Kifaji is confusing; we haven’t properly seen him in an event yet because we haven’t watched that one (as if it would mention Kifaji’s nipples LOL). But I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t have those?? But that would probably also mean that he has a cloaca, do what you will with that information.

We do have all the information needed for merpeople though!! It’s pretty much like you said; I don’t think they have any nipples normally; aside from our boys, some random npc mermen didn’t have any either. But since the octatrio transforms with a potion, they do have them because it changes their appearance to match the humans’ perfectly. Some things about their physique is different, i.e. Azul probably still having the strengths of his octopus muscles, Jade not feeling cold, but appearance-wise they are 100% two-legged human, hence the nipples. So yeah, I’m not sure if Floyd had only areola and not the nipples on that card… it’s an interesting thing to headcanon, but I think it’s just a case of them not wanting to draw very detailed nipples to keep age ratings low lol Ace’s look the same.

You know what’s amazing? Yana 100% has thoughts about every single one of these topics.

bunbotbuggiman asked:

potentially a weird/random ask, but do you have/what are some songs you associate with floyd and riddle? (was scrolling thru ur florid tag and thought I'd ask lmao sorry if this really comes out of nowhere)

For example, and this is a pretty obvious one ik, but "Good Girls Go Bad" by Cobra Starship and "Cake by the Ocean" by DNCE are pretty big florid songs to me.

If you don't have any for them, hb for any other twst characters? or for your aus?

Hi and sorry for the late reply! Thank you so much for enjoying our FloRid stuff. We love these idiots a lot <3

Unfortunately, I am not really someone to usually have songs associated with ships, as I listen to the same bunch of songs over and over throughout my entire life… But one of the songs that comes to mind is Tenohira by Mr.Children, mostly because this is the song from the “Spitting while Kissing” (キスをしながら唾を吐け) meme, the one where a couple fights viciously despite having feelings for each other lol Oh look, someone made a FloRid version of it!! Perfect.

The lyrics are somewhat more sentimental, but if you squint…

Spit while kissing

meant to lick but bit

meant to put it on you but tore it up

and again, seek love

we don’t need to be one

if we accept one another that’s enough

That will give us the light that will rain down

gently, and scatter the darkness before us.

The vibes of “Pedestrian at Best” by Courtney Barnett also give me some FloRid feels sometimes! Not in its entirety, but some parts feel very Floyd-like to me.

I love you, I hate you, I'm on the fence, it all depends

Whether I'm up, I'm down, I'm on the mend, transcending all reality

I like you, despise you, admire you

What are we gonna do when everything all falls through?

I must confess, I've made a mess of what should be a small success

But I digress, at least I've tried my very best, I guess

This, that, the other, why even bother?

It won't be with me on my deathbed, but I'll still be in your head

"Good Girls Go Bad" by Cobra Starship does feel perfect for them, I completely agree with you lol “Cake by the Ocean” feels like a song Floyd wound enjoy dancing to, and yes, I also can see your point here as well. Also, the music clip makes me think of the Stitch event…

As for the other characters, Katsu sent me one particular cover of “I can’t help falling in love with you” and said that it feels like Azul’s POV for Azul/Idia, and I’ve been associating this song with them ever since lol

Also, the song “Ghosts” from the game Night In The Woods gives me Idia (optionally, Shroudcest) vibes.

We also associate some characters with Tom Cardy songs but I won’t tell whom because I need to stay motivated to draw a thingie related to this!!! We’ve been wanting to do it for almost two years now…

blackbutlerfandomnerddomain asked:

I just want to say recently I got obsessed with this song from Straight Outta Oz called "Papi" and I personally see it for any/alot of Divus x ship but I also lowkey see it as a scene for like if Jamil gets potioned to be extra flirty, I just wanna share it

That “recently” isn’t very recent anymore probably…

Divus x Jamil you say hmmmmm. There is something to consider here…

The thirst of the song is real tho lol

#replies

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noona-clock · 2 days ago

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Heart of the Ranch - Part 8, Final Chapter

Genre: Cowboy!AU, Slice of Life, Fluff

Pairing: Namjoon x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 | Words: 3,298

A Few Months Later

When you realized that your hand was resting on the inside handle of the car door as your rideshare drove up the graveled road toward BTS Ranch, you had to laugh softly to yourself.

Today, you were ready to open the door at a moment's notice because you could barely wait a moment longer to see a certain handsome cowboy (something he wasn't particularly fond of being called, by the way), but a few months ago it had been because you could barely wait to get out and check your phone for any work notifications you'd missed on the flight.

It's funny how things can change so quickly, isn't it?

Your heart jumped up into your throat as the car approached the house, and when you saw Namjoon step out onto the porch, an anxious smile curved your lips. You were good-anxious to see him since it had been several weeks since your last visit here, but you were still nervous-anxious because... Namjoon still made you nervous-anxious like that. Not particularly in a bad way. Just in a 'I've only been dating this person for a few months' kind of way, y'know?

Anyway.

The second the car stopped in front of the house, you pulled on the handle, pushed the door open, and sprang out of your seat.

Your eyes connected with Namjoon's as you jogged over to him, your heart skipping a beat as a wide grin appeared on his lips -- and dimpled his cheeks.

He held his arms out as you approached, and when you practically threw yourself into those strong, familiar, comforting arms, he wrapped them around you so tightly that it almost hurt to breathe. But boy did it feel wonderful.

"I missed you," he murmured as he buried his face in your hair. "Ten weeks is too long to go without seeing you."

"Ten weeks?!" you laughed. "It's been four and a half!"

Trust me, you'd been keeping track.

"Well, it felt like ten. Felt like ten months, actually."

His words made you beam and squeeze his neck tighter.

But then you pulled back just enough to see his face, to grin and look him in the eye when you replied, "I missed you, too, cowboy."

Namjoon huffed with irritation, though he still captured your lips in a sweet yet hungry greeting kiss.

"I'm not a cowboy," he grumbled against your lips, as he always did when you called him a cowboy.

Before you could answer with your customary "You are to me," the driver of your rideshare beeped his horn. Both yours and Namjoon's heads swiveled to look, seeing the driver had already taken your luggage out of the trunk and was simply letting you know he was leaving.

"Thanks!" Namjoon called out, lifting one arm to wave.

You were hoping that your boyfriend would put his arm back where it had been and continue kissing you. So, when he did the opposite -- stepped away from you and let his other arm slide out from around your waist -- you couldn't stop yourself from letting out a whine of protest.

But really, you knew if Namjoon was cutting your reunion short, it was for a good reason: the ranch was busy.

So, you scampered after him, reaching out and holding onto his arm. "What do you need me to do?" you asked as he took the handle of your suitcase and began heading inside.

Namjoon slipped his arm out of your grasp but only so he could wrap it around your shoulders as the two of you strolled back to the house.

"I was in the middle of doing laundry if you'd like to help me with that," he told you before gently kissing your cheek.

"Aww, look at you," you grinned. "Asking me for help so easily!"

"I know, I'm practically a changed man," Namjoon chuckled.

"But in the best way possible," you assured him. "Just remember that you're not the only one who's changed around here."

As the two of you neared the steps of the front porch, Namjoon slowed to a stop and turned to face you. "What do you mean?"

"Well, first of all, I haven't taken this much time off of work... ever."

"True," he agreed.

"But also..." You lifted your arms and gestured all around you. "Look at this place! You have guests and you're not running yourself ragged!"

Namjoon tried to hide an incredibly pleased expression, but you knew how proud he was of the ranch. And then he leaned in, his nose just barely brushing yours. "We both have you to thank," he whispered.

You moved your hands to rest on his chest and whispered back, "I barely did anything. It was all you."

"Oh, please," Namjoon scoffed, and feeling his breath tickle your lips made you shiver. "That week you stayed here after your friends left basically changed everything. I mean, besides when you guys re-did my website and started my social media accounts and raised all that money to fix the fence and get the tree taken away."

"Yeah, all of that was nothing," you teased with a dismissive wave of your hand. "You're right, it was really all me and everything I did by myself for that one week."

Namjoon rolled his eyes good-naturedly and leaned in the last little bit to press his lips to yours quickly. "Come on, oh humble girlfriend of mine. Those towels won't fold themselves."

You simply chuckled softly, helping to lift your suitcase up the steps and following Namjoon inside.

"Here you go," Namjoon murmured as he carefully set down a mug of steaming hot tea on a coaster next to you.

With a quick glance away from the computer screen, you thanked him and happily received his greeting kiss.

As he pulled up a nearby chair, you lifted your mug and sipped the strong but heavenly tea that you'd learned was the cook's secret recipe. It was strong, yes, but incredibly comforting and it had taken hardly any time at all for you to request a cup every single night.

"How is it looking?" Namjoon asked as he leaned toward you to peer at the computer screen.

But of course, you couldn't let an opportunity to see his dimples escape, so you answered by reaching up and gently squeezing his cheeks with your thumb and index finger. "Lookin' handsome," you said with a slight smirk.

Namjoon shrugged your arm away, and even though you knew he knew by now what your M.O. was when you answered his mundane questions with a compliment, he still smiled and gave you exactly what you wanted.

Satisfied, you turned back to the computer and said, "Not bad."

"Better or worse than when you were here last?"

"Definitely better," you assured him.

With a nod, Namjoon said, "I'll take it."

"What about bookings for the rest of the month and next?" you asked before taking another sip of tea.

"Last I checked, almost full," he told you, very obviously trying to tamp down a smile.

You didn't hide your smile and said, "See? We told you our plan would work."

"I never doubted --"

Your sharp look stopped Namjoon from continuing his sentence. Instead, he said, "I learned my lesson, don't worry. I will never doubt you again."

"Do you know how attractive a smart man who learns from his mistakes is?" you asked.

Despite the flush of pink blooming on his cheeks, Namjoon nodded toward the computer screen and asked, "Do you think I could hire another part-timer anytime soon? Or at least an accountant?"

His words immediately wrinkled your forehead in consternation. "You already have an accountant," you pointed out, trying not to sound too offended.

"Baby, I --" Namjoon cut himself off with a huff and lifted one hand to rest on the back of your neck, squeezing you there gently. "I can't keep asking you to do this for free. And I don't care if you're offering. You deserve to be paid, and if you won't take my money, I should find someone who will."

Honestly... you weren't sure how to feel. You could see his point -- it was one thing to implement the ideas you came up with, but it was another to utilize your professional skills without actually putting you on the payroll. But there was absolutely no way you would take his money! And there was also absolutely no way you would put his finances into the hands of someone else!

...A thought popped into your head, and even though it was a thought you'd acknowledged several times over the last few weeks, you didn't have time right now to voice it.

So, you simply said, "That can be put off for another time. The answer is yes, I think you can hire another set of hands."

And you would leave it at that. For now.

Namjoon nodded, moved to stand up, pressing a kiss to your temple on his way up, then murmured that he had to go get the cows into the barn for the night.

"Tell them 'Hi' for me," you called after him before turning back to the computer to finish up for the night. You knew the two of you would meet back up in Namjoon's room soon enough, so there was no need to say 'good night' just yet.

Every single night you'd spent here during the last few months (excluding when you were a guest, of course), you had always gotten ready for and into bed before Namjoon joined you. No matter how much you nagged him to leave certain chores for the next day and turn in earlier, you were always the first one to turn down the covers for the night.

So, when you trudged up the narrow staircase to the attic-turned-bedroom and opened the door to hear Namjoon brushing his teeth in the en suite bathroom, you were both surprised.

Namjoon stuck his head out through the doorway, his brow wrinkled as he looked at you with an 'Everything okay?' expression.

Truth be told, you were nervous. You'd been sitting at the front desk, long after emptying your cup of tea, ruminating on that thought from earlier. You hadn't allowed the thought to settle any of the times it came to you previously, but now that you were back here at the ranch -- more specifically with Namjoon -- you figured it was time. It was time to stop and truly think about --

"It's late," Namjoon's voice interrupted your contemplative stupor, and you just now realized he had finished his nightly routine and left the bathroom to stand in front of you by the doorway.

"Yeah," you replied with an awkward chuckle. "I didn't realize."

Namjoon reached out to place his hands on your upper arms, his forehead still deeply wrinkled as he gazed at you. "...Everything okay?"

You replied with a nod before stepping up and sliding your arms around his waist.

"Look," he murmured, returning your embrace. "If this is about me hiring an accountant --"

"No," you interrupted. "...I mean, actually it is, but not how you think. Probably. I -- Let me get ready for bed, and then we can..."

"Sure," Namjoon agreed.

But before he could step away, you buried your nose in his shoulder, inhaling the scent you were so familiar with by now. You never would've guessed that the smell of pine would end up bringing you so much comfort, but here we are.

"I'll be quick," you whispered, and then darted into the newly vacant bathroom.

After haphazardly brushing your teeth, rushing through your skincare, and hurriedly changing into your pajamas, you made sure all of the lights in the room were turned off before shuffling over to Namjoon's bed.

He lifted the covers for you, one arm laid out across your pillow so you could immediately cuddle up against him.

And as soon as his arm wrapped around your shoulder, as soon as your head settled into the crook of his neck, he said, "Okay, what's going on?"

You let out a shaky breath and told yourself to just say it. There was no logical reason for you to be so nervous, and you would feel a lot better once it was all out in the open.

"I'm just wondering what my future looks like," you began, relieved to hear your voice was calm and steady. "Obviously, I can't keep taking time off to come visit, but I also don't want to bring work with me. I want to spend as much time with you as I can."

Namjoon simply hummed in agreement.

"So... I don't know, it sounds kind of crazy now that I'm about to say it out loud, but maybe I should --- maybe I could... "

Come on, Y/N, just rip the band-aid off and say it!

"Move here and help you run the ranch."

It took everything in you not to let out a huge sigh of relief.

But you had to admit, it did feel incredible to finally share that thought with someone else.

As the seconds ticked by, though, that incredible feeling began to wane because Namjoon wasn't saying anything.

Now, you knew him well enough by now to know that he frequently needed time to process things before he could respond.

But... I mean, if he had to think about this, the answer was probably going to be 'No' right? He wasn't ready for that yet. He didn't know the two of you were that serious yet.

So, you were about to assure him that it was just a thought, and you were more than fine to pretend like you'd never brought it up. You would say 'good night,' turn over so he wouldn't have to see your embarrassment, and then attempt to sleep.

But Namjoon spoke before you had the chance -- thankfully.

"You would do that?" he asked softly.

Well, it wasn't a 'No,' so you replied with a nod. "I would," you confirmed in a whisper.

After a few more seconds, Namjoon leaned back, forcing you to look at him. You couldn't quite make out his expression, honestly; it could've been one of surprise, confusion, or even a mix of the two.

"You... would pack up your whole life and leave the city and your job and your friends... to live at the ranch?"

Well, when he put it like that, no wonder he was surprised and confused.

"No," you amended. "I would pack up my whole life and leave the city and my job and my friends for you. You could be anywhere in the world, on this ranch or not, and that's where I'd want to be."

Namjoon searched your face, his gaze flitting about as if he was actually looking for something. And then he said, "Can I just ask you one question?"

"Of course."

He inhaled deeply before asking, "If I told you that I wanted to move to you, would you let me?"

Just as he had with your idea, you thought about it for a few seconds. But then you said, "Of course I would, if I thought that's what would be best for us."

"...So you don't think that's what's best for us?"

You shook your head and hummed negatively.

"Why not?" he asked, and you appreciated that his tone was anything but accusatory.

"Because you wouldn't be happy living in the city."

"And you would be happy living here?"

Okay, now you understood his line of thinking.

You moved your arm up between the two of you, resting your hand on his chest and locking your gaze on his. "Namjoon," you said softly. "I don't live in a big city because that's the only place I ever imagined myself living or because I'm used to the noise and lights or anything. I didn't move there because I wanted to, I just... ended up there. I got a job with a big company and found an apartment close to the office, and that was that. I followed the job, and that's exactly what I'll be doing this time, too. Of course, I love my job, but I guess it's really more accurate to say that I love my work. I've just gotten used to my job. But my job doesn't have you. And if I can do the work I love to do and be with you at the same time? Why wouldn't I jump at the chance?"

"But what about your friends?"

"Don't worry, I'm already devising an evil plan to get one or all of them to move here, too. That is -- if you'll have me," you told him. "But, for now, FaceTime and planes are there for us when we need them."

When he didn't reply for almost a minute, you added, "This place is your home. It's run you ragged the past few years, and I've never actually seen you anywhere else, but I just know. This is your ranch. You're the heart of this place, you belong here. I can't say the same about my apartment or my office. Of course, I love my friends, but we haven't always lived in the same place. We've been apart before, we can do it again. Our friendship is strong enough to survive anything. But... if I'm being honest, I'm afraid that I'm not strong enough to survive not being with you."

Maybe you were just imagining things, but it almost looked like Namjoon's eyes were... glassy? Almost like they were filling up with tears?

And when his lips curved into a derisive smile, and he murmured "Ah, shit," in a very watery voice, you knew that your eyes weren't playing tricks on you.

You had never been adept at comforting people, but it was very obvious that Namjoon had yet to feel comfortable crying in front of you. So, you removed your hand from his chest and scooted closer to him. You pressed your forehead into his neck and shoulder, slid your arm over and around his back, and held him closely.

He did the same, holding you to him like a lifejacket in a vast ocean.

After what seemed like an hour or two, but was in reality probably just a few minutes, Namjoon pulled away just enough to rest his forehead against yours.

"I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much, and every time you're here, I just feel so... this place feels so... I don't know, complete. It breaks my heart every single time you leave, even though I know you're coming back. I've wanted to ask you pretty much since the beginning if you could just stay here, I just didn't want to be selfish."

"So, does that mean you'll have me?" you asked with a grin, anticipation thrumming throughout your whole body. "I can become a cowgirl?"

Namjoon groaned, and you couldn't help but giggle as he rolled his eyes at you.

"I'll let you live here on one condition: you have to stop calling me 'cowboy.'"

At that, your expression dropped. "Really?" you asked forlornly.

After a second or two of searching your pitiful face, Namjoon let out a sigh. "No, not really. Just promise you'll let me keep pretending I'm irritated about it."

"Deal," you answered immediately, and you truly couldn't wait any longer to seal your promise with a kiss.

Before you could get completely lost in his lips, though, you inched away and whispered, "I love you, too."

And you knew right then and there, feeling his lips brushing against yours, feeling his hands coming up to cradle your cheek and brush your hair away from your face, that this was the beginning of the rest of your life.

And nothing could've made you happier.

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