#This post is already long enough so maybe I'll bring up the rest next time

[stepswowdsen]

Intro

Your posts were really interesting to read!

Didn’t have the time to reply to this last night so I definitely wanted the time to write a proper post about it.

I wrote this post back when I used to be on priv on my side blog, but I came off priv when I realized how limiting Tumblr priv blogs were, so I didn’t really pay attention to some of my old posts.

I definitely would’ve edited the OG post to add onto my rambles otherwise, but I guess I can do that now.

Things I wanna talk about:

Kuroha/Saeru: Golden Apple and Silver Branch Symbolism

Ene’s Iron Cheeks (Digital Structures)

Kuroha/Saeru’s Similarities with Tamamo Vitch Koyanskaya (FGO)

Kuroha/Saeru: Golden Apple and Silver Branch Symbolism 🍎🌿

This time, I also want to note the usage of Golden Apples and Silver Branches in the Kuroha/Saeru Joker art.

These links also note the symbolism and associations of Golden Apples and Silver Branches. These symbols are sometimes paired together, too.

Silver branches are a symbol that represent “entry into the Celtic otherworld (land of the deities and possibly also the dead)” in Celtic mythology

The last link describes "Entry into the Celtic otherworld without dying" (Couldn't fit it due to Tumblr's image limit)

"The golden apples hidden/stolen by a monstrous antagonist" is also interesting to think about 🐍🖤💛

The mention of the world of rebirth after death also reminds me of the existence of the Kagerou Daze, though Tír na nÓg was described as a paradise. The SS below describes other Otherworlds as having “horrible shapes”

Apple: Knowledge, wisdom, immortality, temptation, the fall of man, sin, forbidden fruit (evil)

Golden Apple: Immortality, selfishness and distraction, lust for the impossible and transitory (immortality and beauty), greed

Silver Branch: Entry into the Celtic Otherworld (Tír na nÓg)

Golden Apples: (X) (X)

Apples: (X)

Silver Branches: (X)

Celtic Otherworld: (X) (X) (X)

...

It’s true that Saeru gained the pseudo immortality that he wanted with his “creations” Konoha and Ene, since he is directly responsible for causing Haruka and Takane’s deaths in most Routes.

Saeru managed to create someone immortal by killing Takane, so that she could gain an Eye Ability and become pseudo immortal in her new digital cyber body as Ene…

Saeru also ensures Konoha’s creation in most Routes. While it’s not the explicit pseudo immortality that Ene has, Konoha counts too.

Saeru can use Awakening Eyes to make his body pseudo immortal, by his own words.

Ene’s Iron Cheeks

Mekakushi Radio

Shintaro: So what are Ene-chan’s cheeks made of?

Ene: They’re iron.

Shintaro: Eh……?

Ene: They’re iron. My cheeks are made of Iron.

...

メカクシラジオ

シンタロー：エネちゃんの頬っぺたは何でできてるんですか？

エネ：鉄です。

シンタロー：え……？

エネ：鉄です。鉄でできてます。

Quick TL by Sen (@/stepswordsen)

I was trying to fact check first, because I was so confused whether Ene’s cheeks are made of iron (metallic element) or steel (alloy of iron and carbon).

In Mekakushi Radio, Ene makes a joke that her cheeks are made of iron (鉄, Tetsu)

See the whole translation here by Yuurus (@/fuyuyuu)

Source: (X)

OP interprets it as a Fate/stay night (F/sn) parody. I’m not sure if Ene is actually serious or just joking, but I'll assume Ene is telling the truth.

It comes from Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works, Archer EMIYA’s Noble Phantasm chant, Unlimited Blade Works.

EMIYA:

Steel is my body and fire is my blood (English)

My blood is of iron and my heart of glass (Literal English)

血潮は鉄で心は硝子 (Japanese)

Chishio wa tetsu de, kokoro wa GARASU (Romaji)

Source: (X)

Word used for iron:

鉄 (Tetsu, “Iron”)

Words used for steel:

鋼鉄 (Koutetsu, “Steel”)

鋼 (Hagane, “Steel”)

鋼鉄 (Koutetsu, “Steel”) contains the kanji for Iron 鉄 (Tetsu, “Iron”) since Steel is made of Iron.

After seeing Ene’s cheeks get described as 鉄 (Tetsu, “Iron”), I’m going to proceed with the assumption that it’s iron. In the literal sense, it’s iron. (Also considering the UBW chant)

鉄 (Tetsu) specifically means “Iron,” referring to the chemical element, according to Kotobank, a JP dictionary. 鋼鉄 (Koutetsu) and 鋼 (Hagane) are the main words that specifically mean steel.

KuroEne AU rambles with Feila

I also chatted with my mutual, Feila, about this, so I’ll quote their rambles too.

Me:

Kuroha/Saeru: Gold

Ene: Iron

F: She's a virus, it's definitely metal at some point

F: I'm sensing something... And Ene can only be killed off if the current device she's in is destroyed. Kuroha loses sentience when everyone's wish is granted.

Me: Yeah. KuroEne has a character parallel going on irt immortality.

Gold and Iron...

Saeru’s actions ended up creating someone with an immortal body (Ene), and someone who has the capability to be immortal due to his powers (Konoha)

That’s why I’m curious about the symbolism of Gold and Iron. Wonder if it has any thematic significance but I can definitely run with it.

Steel is an alloy of iron and carbon, and stronger than Iron.

F: Sharpness of body and mind, but Ene has a digital body, sadge

Me: Yeah and “sharpness of body and mind” is more Saeru's thing.

Regardless, iron formed on one of his “creations” → Ene

Me: I think there’s plenty to be said about how Kuroha/Saeru wanted immortality and Ene (and Konoha) are the results of those aspirations.

F: “Longevity”

Me: “Wisdom” and “Transformation” fits Kuroha/Saeru so well considering his knowledge with Clearing Eyes and him being able to change his body with Awakening Eyes. Also “Power” and “Longevity” with his superhuman strength in Konoha’s body, and longevity with how he seeks immortality.

Me: As I said in my OG post, Gold apples also represent immortality. And also, the usage of silver branches, paired with golden apples, in that art…

Kuroha/Saeru: Golden Apples (Knowledge, Wisdom, Immortality, Temptation, Sin, Evil, Selfishness, Greed)

F: So it’s iron then? Iron iron iron... whatever I'll call it Fe

F: KuroEne: Gold and Iron (FeAu)

F: It'd be cool if underneath the iron cheek things, there are actually snake scales.

Me: Omg… Reminds me I was wondering if Ene’s digital structures are digital representations of snake scales, or if there are snake scales under there…

F: Haruka/Konoha/Kuroha’s dot circle facial markings and Ene’s digital structures… I see you 👁️

Me: For Haruka/Konoha/Kuroha, the dots are on the face near the eyes, in the same place as Haruka’s mole originally was. For Ene, her digital structures are on the cheeks… And then Azami, Mary, and Kuroha/Saeru’s MR2 form have snake skin scales on their face/cheeks…

F: Potential fanon-verse KuroEne fan-child design idea, I'll take it

F: The little bunny is done being a little bunny 🔪

Me: Is the “little bunny” (Ene) actually hiding snake skin scales? Or are her iron cheeks the digital manifestation of those scales?

Snatching from my notes again

Takane's Gamer Name:

Takane's full online gamer name was “Lightning Dancer Ene” or “Dancing Flash Ene” (閃光の舞姫・エネ, Senkou no Maihime - Ene), where Maihime (舞姫) means "Dancer girl.” The name “Ene” comes from “Enomoto Takane”

Dancing Girl (舞姫, Maihime, lit. "Dancing Princess")

Kuroha/Saeru's nickname for Ene in my KuroEne AU:

親愛なるウサギちゃん (Shin'ai naru Usagi-chan; "[My] dear/beloved [little] bunny/rabbit")

I chose "My dear little bunny/rabbit" or 親愛なるウサギちゃん (Shin'ai naru Usagi-chan; "[My] dear/beloved [little] bunny/rabbit") as Kuroha's nickname for Ene because she has twintails that look like bunny ears.

But his chosen nickname is definitely on purpose on his part, because bunnies are the prey of snakes, and he is the hunter (predator animal). So it still ends up playing up to his ego. 🐍🐇

...

F: About the symbolism of Iron tho…

F: I’m so confused about the word usage 😭 Is it iron or steel?

So that kanji alone means Iron then?

Me: Yeah I trust a JP dictionary like Kotobank that pulls from multiple JP dictionaries

F: It's just Ene being asked about her cheek things 😭 Is it safe to assume it’s Iron?

Me: YEAH IKR…

Me: Yeah I'm not sure if, in general, in translations, people tend to use 鉄 (Tetsu) to refer to steel (or metals in general) in casual convos, even though it’s actually iron in the literal sense.

Or using 鉄 (Tetsu) when they actually mean 鋼鉄 (Koutetsu). Or if it's just because steel is the most common usage of iron. Steel is one of the most common iron alloys.

Iirc, when referring to the metals specifically, 鉄 (Tetsu) should be used to specifically refer to Iron, and 鋼鉄 (Koutetsu) and 鋼 (Hagane) should be used.

Me: Now looking at things, like the UBW chant, I’m gonna proceed with it being iron in the literal sense

KuroEne AU: A Snake’s Sense of Smell

Me: Just gonna snatch this from my KuroEne AU rambles where I was discussing with Feila about my KuroEne AU route where Kuroha makes an android body for Ene (cuz his knowledge far surpasses regular humans) and indulges in the “game” with her.

Mary and Ene are the only ones left alive at the end of a Route and team up against Kuroha/Saeru to try and fend him off. MaryEne run away and retreat to come up with a plan to defeat him, find his plans (designs and sketches) of Ene's android body, then confronts him at his underground lab.

I’m mainly just including it cuz of how, with the fanon ideas that I came up with, how he could theoretically use the Awakening Eyes ability in my KuroEne AU works, to an extent beyond what’s shown in canon.

I took creative liberties for my own AU writing, since I wanna expand on characters and their relationships past what canon shows.

Using Awakening Eyes to rebuild his body and enhance it (ex. Giving himself a snake-like sense of smell in his humanoid body so that he can hunt “prey”)

Using Awakening Eyes to shapeshift into others (ex. Saeru leaves Kenjirou’s body earlier in my KuroEne AU, so he can just use Awakening Eyes to take his appearance to not cause suspicion, and create multiple fake identities to manipulate people to amass power and resources)

(I don’t see the need to write all this again so I’m just copy pasting it from our chats)

Me:

(Kagerou Daze: Ch. 66)

Kuroha: The Awakening skill... Lets me build the body I want. If I want to be immortal, I can be. If it's power I'm after, I can rip through anything... And if I want a body that no force can bind...

F: Shit is so stiff but love the dialogue here

Also he isn't wrong, Awakening Eyes can rebuild itself forever and ever so he's technically immortal, it's the fact that he'll lose sentience once all wishes are granted that makes him mortal or "temporary"

Idk—

Me: Yeah I hate how stiff and undynamic the manga art is… GOD ADHSHDSHDSH

The art looks so boring to me.

Me: Ok I just searched it up

Me: Oh, I underestimated a snake’s sense of smell. Ok but imagine Kuroha/Saeru with a forked snake tongue. That would be cool

Yeah especially since Awakening Eyes can make the body into “whatever the owner finds to be ideal.” If he wants a body that’s able to have the same heightened sense of smell that a snake can, then he can do that.

(Kagerou Daze Manga: Ch. 63)

Me: I saw MR2 Kuroha/Saeru sniff the air in Ch. 63 when he enters the MekaDan's base, so he definitely has a much stronger sense of smell (as a Snake possessing a human vessel) compared to a regular human.

He can also modify his body however he wants with Awakening Eyes to be able to make it stronger, so he could also make his sense of smell stronger as well

He sniffs the air when he crashes into the MekaDan’s hideout. He was probably trying to see if the Dan was hiding anywhere so he could hunt them down, and then realized they weren’t there and that the Dan used Concealing Eyes to help leave the vicinity. So he most likely has the heightened smell of a snake that can smell from FAR distances away.

Me: Kuroha is the one who made Ene’s android body in my KuroEne AU, which I imagine has self-healing human flesh on the outside (similar to IRL scientists’ advancements in creating robots with self-healing skin).

Since he’s the embodiment of knowledge, his creations would be much more advanced, since he has knowledge from the beginning of civilization up to modern science

F: Since Awakening Eyes fixes the body molecule by molecule, then changing his range of scents can actually work, implementing a snake's organs onto a human body.

F: Also for that last part... oh Ene, my brother 😭

Me:

Ene: WHY IS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU JUST A RECIPE FOR DISASTER!?!?!? (//>~<//)

F: Fuck, Ene has the most detectable smell due to that

A mix of metal and flesh would have a unique smell, and it'd be easier to find her too

He’d recognize the smell cuz it’d be familiar to him

F: Knew it. Molecule by molecule…

Me: I don’t think he even needs to change his organs since he can just use Awakening Eyes to wish for a body that can smell just like a snake

Me: Embodiment of knowledge/wisdom, shapeshifter (basically) who’s able to change his body into whatever he wants using Awakening Eyes, superhuman strength, can use Awakening Eyes to adjust his 5 senses and body too, etc. This is such a disaster set-up for the KuroEne AU Route I’m writing where MaryEne team up. I’ve written a lot for it, but I just haven’t posted most of it publically.

Me: And now, this begs the question of whether Concealing Eyes can manage to prevent someone like him from detecting scents, cuz I have no idea, it’s not stated. Is it only visibility related or does it work on the 5 senses too?

F: For [how he deflects] Mary's Eye Abilities... I'm guessing it's during while he's bounded, since with that he can fix both his organs and body parts and make it stronger so he could move again.

Cuz with Awakening Eyes, he can heal himself or rebuild the body to enhance it immediately

Me: HHHH YEAH LIKE HE CAN JUST HEAL THE BODY IMMEDIATELY. Like how he gets hit by a landslide in MR2 but just quickly heals the body with Awakening Eyes

Me: Also. Does his accumulation of knowledge apply to languages too? Like he MUST know the ancient language that Azami wrote in in her journal (that Ayaka was somehow able to read, to her own disbelief)

Me: Saeru tells Azami in MR2 that he’s the Ability that grants her her “wisdom”

I don't have this volume in JP yet but I wonder if the OG has it as "Knowledge"

(Kagerou Daze: Ch. 37)

KuroEne AU: Using Awakening Eyes to change into someone

KuroEne AU discussions with Feila: Route where MaryEne team up to try and fend off Kuroha after he's killed everyone and sneak into his lab to confront him and come up with a plan

I hadn't gotten the chance to post it yet but Feila and I came up with the idea that Kuroha could just use Konoha's Eye Ability Awakening Eyes to temporarily turn into Ene, then make it so that his body can shed off self healing skin (and any parts he needs). Then it makes making her android body infinitely easier cuz he'd have all the parts needed to make her body.

Kuroha is so fucked up but that makes him interesting so I say let him be. He's so fun to write for 👍

Cuz Awakening Eyes allows the owner of the body to make it into their "ideal body" and make it whatever they want. So he can do this, replicate it, and keep regenerating himself. And knowing this mf, he'd probably shed off his own skin from his body too to use as part of Ene's android body.

I want Ene to sneak into Kuroha’s lab and find his designs of the sketches and plans on her android body, and confront him about the creation of her android body (his motives/plans), why he made it, the reasons for his indulgence in their “game,” and all the parts he designed and added for his “pleasures,” etc.

Then I want him to be like, “Should I show you how I made your body?” :)

Then he just uses Awakening Eyes to turn into her (temporarily), using Awakening Eyes to give him a body that can shed off self-healing human skin like a snake, then shows her the process of a “snake shedding skin” (bits of skin cells falling off him and multiplying) right in front of her, and anything that falls off of him, regenerates on its own on his body.

And when he’s done showing her, he then changes back to his usual form as Black Konoha. He tells her that he added his own skin cells, etc., to use as part of her body, too.

Kuroha: You were made from me, and the unison of our parts, therefore, we are one ❤️

Kuroha/Saeru and Koyanskaya

This reminds me that I had a long KuroEne AU post where I mentioned Kuroha/Saeru’s similarities to Tamamo Vitch Koyanskaya (FGO), since they’re both animal beings who are close to nature, born from “the manifestation of a concept,” and have a contradictory nature of love for humanity (since they both hate and love humanity)

Koyanskaya tells the FGO protag's party everything she finds loathsome about humanity, and their virtues and vices.

They (Saeru and Koyanskaya) also utilize and weaponize mankind's technologies (ex. weapons of slaughter) better than any human can. Mocking the failures of others, just like a human would.

They acknowledge humanity’s vices and everything that makes them deplorable, while loving them (specifically their foolishness), are entertained by them, and enjoy tormenting them for fun as a pass-time out of bloodthirst and sadistic amusement.

They still have their own form of love for humanity (no matter how twisted that love may be)

Because in the end, humans are still animals that exist as part of nature.

Koyanskaya: A Nature Spirit born as an incarnation of the thoughts and feelings of animals persecuted by mankind

Saeru: Born from Azami's very first and strongest desire to know and understand herself

You can make parallels with Saeru and Koyanskaya since they were both born from the “manifestation of a concept”

Conceptual beings (animal beings) who are close to Nature and detest the world/humans but also love them in a way that threatens humanity (and/or humanity's existence)

I wanted to talk about Saeru and Koyan more but this is getting long. The contradictory nature of their love (hating while loving) is very human in itself.

Sources

History of the origins of the Kanjis of certain Metals

Source: (X)

Kotobank (JP dictionary)

Source: (X)

JP Stack Exchange

The 2 different ways to say Steel

Source 1: (X)

Source 2: (X)

Kuroha/Saeru Joker Playing Card: Golden Apple Symbolism 🖤💛🐍🃏🍎

The Golden Apple and Immortality

Kuroha Joker Playing Card by Sidu My Edit (Upscaled Version)

Ene and Konoha: 6 and 9

Haruka and Kuroha: Jack and Joker

Glitter Can Badge Merch (Upscaled Versions)

My Icon PFP Edits (OG Colours)

My Icon PFP Edits (Colour Edits)

Kuroha (クロハ), officially known as The Snake of Clearing Eyes (目が冴える蛇, Me ga Saeru Hebi) or Black Konoha (黒コノハ, Kuro Konoha) when possessing Konoha’s body, is the main antagonist of KagePro who causes the “Tragedy” of the Mekakushi Dan (Blindfold Gang) members.

Now that we've started off with that little character summary... I've been thinking about Kurohoe again /pos /endearing

Because of course. He's KagePro's main villain and antagonist with a banger design and incredibly interesting to me.

I put the upscaled versions of the KagePro: Playing Cards set above! You can also find it in the Drive folder of my Notion page: (X)

I felt like I should post this today since I have this post already written. I'll post the rest of my JuAli dialogue script ideas tomorrow

The Kuroha Joker Playing Card by Sidu made me wonder about the use of yellow in this illust.

Sidu very well could've used red here for Kuroha's eyes and the apples, cuz Kuroha's eyes can also glow red, as seen in the Outer Science MV. Kuroha's eyes glow red in the last chorus of Outer Science. Eye Ability users' eyes glow red when using their Eye Abilities.

Main Eye Colour (Yellow)

KagePro Wiki Screenshots of the Outer Science MV

Eye Colour (Red)

But yellow has more visual contrast against the dark blacks and grays used in the composition of the Kuroha Joker card art.

Like, I was wondering if she coloured the apples yellow just because it's the same colour as Kuroha's eyes, and if there was any symbolism attached to the Golden Apple.

So I looked it up, and there is. The Golden Apple symbolizes immortality (in Greek and Norse mythology), and it was believed that eating a golden apple will grant you immortality.

Source: (X)

Considering Kuroha's motivations/goals in KagePro, this is interesting.

Kuroha/Saeru, as KagePro's main villain, kills the Mekakushi Dan (Blindfold Gang) and wants to make Marry into his new master so that she can use her powers as a Medusa to rewind the world (due to her strong desire to be with her friends again), thus causing a "never ending tragedy" in which he can keep living forever.

KuroEne Rambles 🖤💙

His main goal is to fulfill Azami's first, original, strongest desire, the one that created him - she wanted to know and understand exactly who she was. And by doing this, he can continue to prolong his life by causing the tragedy. He seeks immortality, basically.

Before Ene lost her human body and became Takane, she wanted a body that wouldn't need to eat or sleep in response to her chronic illness that would cause her to fall asleep and faint and feel groggy even if she slept for long hours.

KuroEne technically have a character parallel going on.

Kuroha's Eye Ability is Clearing Eyes (目が冴える, Me ga Saeru)

(Quotes from the KagePro Wiki)

"The Snake of Clearing Eyes seems to hold power over 'knowledge' itself due to the nature of the wish that created it."

"In the Novel Route, Shintaro refers to it as 'a living encyclopedia with a full grasp of everything from the start of civilization up to modern science'"

"The Snake of Clearing Eyes seems to be able to retain memories of past Routes through its power."

Ene has a pseudo immortal body due to her Eye Ability, Opening Eyes (目が覚め, Me ga Sameru). It allows her to split her consciousness from her body. Through this power, she became a cyber being that resides in and possesses electronic devices.

Kuroha/Saeru kills the Mekakushi Dan, Marry's friends, to spur on despair in Marry (due to the Tragedy), and the strong desire to meet with her friends again.

Kuroha/Saeru wants to preserve his own life, by killing Marry's friends and forcing her to rewind (reset) the world back to the very beginning, and live forever through countless routes (infinite, repeating time loop resets), and continue living on, at least until his purpose (of fulfilling Azami's original desire) is fulfilled.

Kuroha and Ene have an interesting character parallel. One seeks immortality, and one has a pseudo immortal body.

The Mekakushi Dan wants a future. And they want the "Tragedy" caused by Kuroha/Saeru to finally end, and for the Snake of Clearing Eyes to finally be put to a stop. And Kuroha robs them of a future.

KuroEne Rambles (Continued)

(Copy pasting these from last time)

As said before, Kuroha/Saeru inevitably has a power imbalance with every character he's paired with (ie. power in terms of physical strength, and power over knowledge), so that's why you NEED to tread carefully with his ships. Imo, it can definitely still be done, though.

That's why making Ene more assertive and dominant in the ship just fits so well with Kuroha/Saeru cuz it helps alleviate the power imbalance slightly and balances it out more

Kuroha's ships have the potential to be really interesting though, when depicted/portrayed with care.

Cuz his character context with being the main antagonist/villain and main source of tension/conflict of the series, his knowledge of the time loops, combined with his S/O's context, and their current and previous loves, makes for such delicious angst fuel

The one who's the main instigator of the "Tragedy" who insists on the inevitability of fate, as someone who was created even before the creation of the world, and has known the world since the very beginning, and possesses knowledge of the many paths that the world has taken throughout all the timelines… The one who's observed the world since the very beginning

And the ones trying to fight back against it and escape the cycle because they want to have a future, past all the tragedy… Ooooogh

ShinAya and Paper Crane Symbolism

It seemed pretty likely to me that the usage of the Golden Apple is intentional in Kuroha's Joker Playing Card art, since KagePro's hanafuda card sets are filled with hidden meanings and symbolisms, like how Ayano's character and the ShinAya ship are associated with paper crane symbolism due to the symbolism attached to the crane, a mystical and holy figure in Japanese culture.

The crane symbolizes healing, loyalty, recovery, and a long life. In modern times, it's given to those who are seriously ill to wish for their recovery.

Senbazuru (千羽鶴, lit. "One thousand cranes") refers to the tradition of folding 1000 origami paper cranes.

It was traditionally believed that folding 1000 paper cranes would make the person's wish come true, so that's why Ayano always folded paper cranes for Shintaro (even taping back his ripped up test papers)

KagePro Lore Context (Summary)

(Summarized from the KagePro Wiki)

Azami is a Medusa, the original creator and Master of all the Eye Ability Snakes. She originally unintentionally created the world with the Queen Snake, Combining Eyes, as a place for her to be able to learn about and understand himself.

Saeru was created by her first, original, strongest desire - she wanted to know and understand exactly what she was. She was also tricked by Saeru into creating the Kagerou Daze, a never ending world.

Azami despaired at the prospect of outliving her human husband (Tsukihiko) and her daughter, Shion, who were human and half-Medusa/half-human respectively.

Saeru told her to create the never ending world, Kagerou Daze, in order to allow her to be with her family forever, but she eventually ends up going into the Kagerou Daze alone because she believed she was bringing misfortune to her family.

Her existence/nature as a Medusa caused humans to fear her as a "Monster" (which led to humans targeting Tsukihiko and Shion as ways to try and hurt Azami)

Saeru detests the world for changing Azami's wish (the one that created him in the first place) of wanting to know and understand exactly what she was, to wishing to be with her family forever.

Because to him, it felt like the wish/desire that had given him life and meaning in the first place had been replaced.

So, everything HE had wanted, ended up coming to fruition. Saeru successfully tricked Azami into entering the Kagerou Daze and trapping her there, since he believes the world is unfit for her.

Centuries later, Azami witnessed Shion and Marry's deaths at the hands of humans in the real world. She ordered the Kagerou Daze (Heat Haze Daze), the never ending world, to take them in and save their lives, because time doesn't flow properly in the Kagerou Daze.

Azami gave Marry the Queen Snake, Combining Eyes, in order to allow her to be sent back to the real world. Azami lost control of the Kagerou Daze after losing the Queen Snake, so the Kagerou Daze now swallows up all people who die on the same day that Shion and Marry did, August 15th.

The Outer Science MV confirms that everytime Marry rewinds the world, it goes all the way back to the beginning. This means that the beginning of each new Route starts with Azami creating the world with the Queen Snake, Combining Eyes.

Misc Rambles

I think I mentioned this before, but that's insane to me... So, does that mean every single Route has to go through thousands or millions of years of history just to get to the modern age???

Dude (Kuroha) must've been having the time of his fucking life... Cuz he knows that as long as he keeps doing this, he can keep on living forever

Especially when there are an unspecified (XX) amount of Routes, aside from the main known ones (ie. Music Route, Manga Route, Novel Route, Anime Route, etc.)

KagePro's present day plot across all Routes starts on the faithful date of August 15th, Kagerou (Heat Haze) Day.

Kuroha/Saeru is so interesting. Kuroha's selfish, twisted, nature and dark urges... A character who's so inherently dark and selfish and twisted like that, manipulative, dangerous, cruel, sadistic, and bloodthirsty, like that...

A completely unapologetic villain who's fun to watch and cathartic. He's definitely one of KagePro's most interesting charas imo.

[viviennevermillion]

hello!! i'm absolutely in love with your writing and your posts!! (they're so inspiring seriously)

anyway- i was wondering if i could request Blade with a chronically ill s/o? no specific illness required! just the reader generally being under the weather a lot and exhausted, and how he reacts & takes care of them :)

thank you!! have a lovely day/night <3

With a chronically ill s/o

✧ ɴᴏᴛᴇꜱ: thank you so much for the request! i feel this bc i've just been diagnosed with two of 'em chronic illnesses (GERD and cough variant asthma) this year and it's been wearing me down before i figured out how to properly manage it. i hope you like this request! also you said i'm converting you to sampo so i'm adding him to this post.

if any readers would like to be on my star rail taglist, feel free to notify me (+ for which characters you want to be tagged). if i find you're on my dni, i will block instead.

✧ ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: i'll be there — gabriella bee

✧ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ: blade, sampo

✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: none

Blade is a very patient and attentive boyfriend. He already thinks existence is a pain so he does whatever he can to make sure you feel better and comfortable. When you have a particularly bad day he'll definitely stay with you if you want him to.

When he first learns of your illness, he makes sure to do enough research to understand it. Kafka found him sitting at a desk with a stack of books about your condition to make sure he's prepared for anything. She'd lean against the door frame with a smile on her face, watching him for a moment before making herself known. "That's so sweet of you", she chuckles and Blade turns his head. "Mind your own business."

Kafka definitely snitches and tells you about how much effort he put into understanding you and your condition

He makes sure to talk with you about it as well. He asks you what symptoms you have, how they feel for you and what you found helps you when you feel under the weather.

Literally asks Elio to predict what your condition will be like in the coming days. If it's a day where your illness flares up particularly bad, he makes sure to get all the items that help you and medications you need in advance.

He does not tell you that he does this; you just think the Stellaron Hunters are very medically prepared.

If Elio predicts that you'll have a particularly good day, Blade makes sure to take you out on a date. Maybe a picnic in nature or a nice dinner somewhere where there isn't a chance of someone trying to arrest him.

He listens to what you say you need at the moment. If you need space and rest, he will happily oblige but if you feel better with his comfort, he'll lay down next to you and wraps an arm around you from behind, snuggling close to you.

Blade has a satisfied smile on his face when he finds you in a peaceful sleep despite your symptoms or pain. He presses a soft kiss to your forehead, careful not to wake you. He feels you snuggle closer to him in your sleep and it makes his heart flutter to find a smile on your face.

If he feels like you might need to eat or might be hungry when you wake up, he pays someone to bring you a nice (and suitable) meal to your doorstep. When you wake up, he asks you how you are feeling and tells you that he hopes you had a nice rest while nuzzling your cheek. "I got you lunch", he says softly and exactly in that moment the door to your room opens and you get your meal.

He assists you with whatever tasks may fall on your plate if you're ready to accept his help. He makes sure the other Stellaron Hunters go easy on you and don't give you any tasks that you feel you might not be able to handle on days where your illness flares up.

If you sent him a text message saying you're not feeling well and need his comfort at the moment, he'd literally drop everything to be by your side.

Blade has lived for a long time and he has seen quite a few cases of chronic illness so he's fairly adapt at being there for you. He's worried about you sometimes but he also knows you're living with chronic illness every day, so you know best what helps you and he trusts that you will take good care of things and reach out to him when you need him.

If you need a distraction, he'll be happy to read to you or play a board game with you or take a walk etc.; whatever you feel up to in the moment!

Sampo is super worried about you at first when you tell him you have a chronic illness because he's super inexperienced with the topic and has no idea what to do whatsoever. So he asks you what that means for you and what exactly your illness is, but there's definitely unrest in his voice.

With time, he fusses over you less and learns to correct some of the worst case scenarios in his head when you told him about it. Sometimes you need to bonk him with a "Sampo, I'm not dying" reminder but he's getting there.

Of course he could look up your condition in books and inform himself about it properly like Blade, but this idea does not occur to him. Instead, if you tell him that you're feeling under the weather, he just like,,,, gets everything, just to be sure. He reassures you that with Natasha around, you'll be in good hands and he promises to her not to try and scam her anymore so long as she takes good care of his love.

You text him that you're not feeling well and that your illness is flaring up and two hours later Sampo enters your home with four comically large bags. "Hey love, I'm home", he calls out to you, "I didn't know what you needed, so I got everything to be sure."

And he really did get everything. You rummage through the bags and raise an eyebrow at him like: "Sampo, what in the name of the Aeons is all this stuff?" There's 3 additional blankets, a hot water bottle, several over-the-counter medications, a couple of prescription meds that Sampo swears he "actually had a prescription for, don't worry about where I got them", healing crystals which he knows are "probably a scam, but there's no harm in trying and they compliment your eyes"; herbs, soup and medical equipment.

A lot of it has actually 0 to do with your condition but he wasn't 100% sure, so he just brought it. You may not need a humidifier, but you own one now.

The highlight is when he says "hold up, there's one more thing", exits your place and comes back a minute later with an entire echocardiac machine. You might not even have a heart condition. "Sampo...what- did you steal that?", you raise an eyebrow. "I found it and thought it might be useful, so I borrowed it", he says and kisses you to distract you from the topic.

Needless to say from that day on you only send him out with a shopping list and tell him to only explicitly get what you told him you need.

If you ever have any heart symptoms he's like "See? This is why we have the echo machine." "Did you learn literally anything?", you shake your head and sigh.

Sampo may not be the most adapt at handling your chronic illness, but he's got the spirit and Natasha is willing to explain things to him as well.

Regardless of how you're feeling, Sampo always manages to make you smile at the end of the day.

When you need rest he's more than happy to cuddle you and spoil you. He'd wrap you in a blanket and repeatedly kisses your temple, whispering to you that he loves you. "Don't worry", he speaks softly and kisses your forehead, "Sampo Koski will always be here for you. I'm sure you'll feel better soon. At least you don't have a Stellaron in your body." "What's a Stellaron?" "Don't worry about it."

Overall, he's confused but he's very dedicated.

[chronicbeans]

Puppeteer Wally Darling x (G/N) Puppet Reader

idk if this will be a series or just a one off so LET'S GOOOOOO (if you want a part two, let me know in the comments of this post.

TW: Obsessive and Possessive Behavior, Kidnapping? (Can you kidnap a puppet? IDK but we're putting that warning just in case), Controlling Behavior

Wally Darling grins widely as he puppeteers the star of the show, (Y/N) (L/N), in a scene within their home. As sad as he is that he cannot voice them, as well, just bringing their personality to life through their motions is enough for him. Voicing his beloved (Y/N) is all up to Sam, their voice actor/actress. Sam, who also happens to be out sick, today. Just like yesterday. And the day before that...

"Aaannddd... CUT! Great job, Wally. You did great! If only Sam were here. Have you heard any word from them?" The director sits back in their chair, staring at the puppeteer on set. Everybody has been asking him about Sam, today. Why are they asking him? Is it because they don't get along?

"No. Sorry. I haven't heard a word. They don't tell me anything." "Alright. Well, you can go take a break, Wally. You've been filming for about... Woah! I must've lost track! You've been filming for NINE hours straight! Isn't your arm tired from being upright for so long?" Wally shakes his head, grinning as wide as a Cheshire. "I can't feel my arm at this point... but I can keep going! I'm always happy to keep going! (Y/N) means so much to me-!"

"Take a break, Wally... And put that puppet back in the storage, will you?" The director looks over to one of the camera people, telling them to turn off the camera, before muttering to themself "He's an amazing puppeteer, but Jesus... He treats that thing like it's alive..."

He quickly runs to his little office, taking (Y/N) with him. Placing the puppet on his desk, he gives his arms a rest as he lies back in his seat. Letting out a long sigh, he looks over to the limp puppet on his desk. Sitting it up and leaning it against a pile of books and folders, he smiles. Surely, the director won't mind if he keeps (Y/N) out of that dingy old box for a little while... As long as they get back in there by the time he leaves, it should be fine.

"I wonder why everybody keeps asking me about Sam, (Y/N)? Do they think I did something to them? Sure, we don't get along, and they clearly don't have as much passion for you as I do! I would never hurt them, though! Do you think I would hurt them?" He looks down to the puppet, smiling. Of course, it doesn't answer. It still feels nice to act like (Y/N) answers and understands. "Thank you for the kind words. It really helps! I love working with you, but the others can be so stressful, sometimes!"

Wally looks away for a moment, checking a few papers on his desk. His schedule seems rather empty for the next week. He had already gotten most of the filming for the episode done today! Only two more scenes require (Y/N). He wishes that there were a few more, to be honest. He prefers working to having nothing to do all day. Maybe he-

"Where... WHERE AM I?!"

Wally's eyes widen, hearing the familiar voice. He looks over to (Y/N), seeing that they have now toppled over onto their side. Their arms flail slightly, as they squeak out "Where am I?! Who? What?! This isn't the neighborhood!"

As much as he wants to squeal with excitement, they are being rather loud. That, alongside the fact that they are voiced, and still sound like, Sam... and people are a bit suspicious of Wally for some reason... He quickly grabs them, placing a hand over their mouth as he quickly says "Be quiet! Someone might hear! I'll explain as much as I can! Just be... Quiet. Here, let me help you back upright."

He picks the puppet up, feeling them squirm a bit in his hands, then sits them back where they were. They raise their arms, which shake as they do so. As they look up to him, he feels his heart swell with joy.

He doesn't know how this has happened... And, frankly... He doesn't care. (Y/N) is talking! (Y/N) is moving! (Y/N) is... (Y/N) is alive! Shaken, yes, but still alive! It's his greatest wish come true! All the work he's put in to bring this character that he loves oh so much to life... Did he have something to do with this? Did his wish for (Y/N) to be able to talk back, move, and live a life in his world make it actually happen?

It doesn't matter. All that matters is that his little puppet is here, in front of him, and able to truly interact with him.

"What's going on...?" Their legs shift slightly, but not much. "Why do my legs feel weird? I can barely move my legs?!" Wally pats their head, saying "Shh... It'll be alright. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what is going on, either. I can tell you where you are, though. First thing's first, though... I'm Wally Darling! I already know who you are, (Y/N). Before you ask, I'll let you know how I know your name."

He goes through everything. The studio, the show, how they are a puppet. To his shock, they already knew they were a puppet, just not exactly what it meant... They didn't know somebody was controlling them in their world. The poor little thing seems so confused! It looks like their head is spinning!

He picks up (Y/N), grinning from ear to ear as he says "Don't worry, (Y/N)! I'll keep you safe! This world is large and dangerous for a puppet like you! I, as your kind puppeteer, will make sure you are safe from harm!" To his shock, (Y/N) only flails, saying "I want to go back to my world! My neighborhood!"

Wally's eyes widen. They want to go back? To leave him? He knows that it is the right thing to do, but he simply cannot have it. As much as he wants to make his lovely little puppet happy... they can just learn to be happy with him! There's no reason why they can't, right?

A simple shake of his head was all it took for them to visibly lose hope. "I'm afraid I can't do that. I care about you too much to let you go back! Think about it... I explained how your world is a show, right? It is like... think of it like a little lie. Would you rather go back to your world, cursed with the knowledge that everything you say and do, see and hear, and all your friends, are just a lie? That it isn't real? Or would you rather stay here, where everything is real?"

(Y/N) shakes their head, again. "I could go back and tell them the truth! I could let them know what is going on! I could-" "Not if I don't let you. I control what you do in that world. If I don't let you tell them, then you can't." "I still want to go home. I want to see my friends, again. I want to go back to Home and take a rest." "You can take a rest at my house!" "I WANT TO GO HOME!" "Be quiet! The others might notice! I might be treating this like it is normal, but if others saw you moving about, they would scream! Stay still-!"

Wally quickly places his hand over their mouth, again, as the director walks in. "What is going on in here?!" Wally chuckles, nervous, as he says "I'm just practicing my (Y/N) impression! You know, since Sam has been out for a while. We don't want to get behind on episodes just because they are gone! Who knows when they will be back?"

The director's eyes trail to the limp puppet in the man's hands. "I thought I told you to put that thing away! Why do you still have it out?" Wally flinches, quickly thinking of an excuse. "Well, I needed to practice not only the voice, but also puppeteering while talking. Since I usually only have to puppeteer, I thought it would help to practice doing both?" The director sighs, nodding.

Then, the best words he has ever heard come out of their mouth happen.

"Just take that puppet home with you, if you want. You clearly have something wrong in the head to be so... ungodly attached to it. You'd probably would keep it in better condition than when we leave them in the storage boxes, anyway."

With that, the director slammed the door to Wally's office shut. The puppet in Wally's arms began to move once more, looking up to Wally with fear. They immediately begin to squirm, trying to get out of his grasp, only for him to hold them still with ease. "Come on, (Y/N)! Let me show you just how much you'll love it here! I'll show you how happy your show makes the children of this world, as well as how much fun this world can be! Anything for you to stay, (Y/N)!"

He grabs a small, cardboard box, then places the struggling puppet inside. Quickly stapling it shut, he then pokes a few little holes into the top. Yes, technically, a puppet cannot breathe, but he still feels bad keeping them in a dark box during transport. Picking up the box, he takes it to his car, saying "Don't worry. The ride will be short. I love relatively close to the studio! Just stay calm, alright?"

"LET ME OUT! WALLY! WALLY! LET ME GO!!!" The box shuffles in the car seat, the puppet inside clearly being in distress as he drives down the road. "WALLY!" (Y/N) peeks out of one of the holes in the box. "I don't know what you are doing, but you are clearly not being a nice neighbor! LET ME GO!" "It's too late. Even if I wanted to, we are already at my house! Come on, let me show you around!" "You could just drive me back-" "LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND!"

He quickly swoops the box into his arms, carrying it into his house as the puppet inside throws itself against the cardboard walls, attempting to escape. He rushes inside, closing the door behind him, before placing the box on his couch. Popping open the lid, (Y/N) pokes their head out, frantically looking around the room.

Their face would've grown pale, if it could've, as they survey the room. Their expression twists, as much as their felt face could allow, into a look of anxiety and fear. Looking around, Wally is slightly confused. What could be wrong with his home? There isn't anything that is obscene or dangerous, as far as he is aware. Then, it hits him.

This place is Wally sized, not (Y/N) sized. The small puppet, who is only around 3 feet tall, give or take, will have a bit of trouble navigating his home. Especially with the fact that they don't seem used to their puppet body. Normally, he would feel bad or sorry, then help accommodate his beloved little puppet. Considering the fact that they clearly want to escape him, however...

This is perfect.

Even more so, because felt hands won't have as much traction and grip on things like doorknobs, windowsills, and the likes. It's going to be harder for them to try to get out without his permission. As much as he hates knowing that he is making (Y/N) unhappy, it truly is for the best!

"Aww... (Y/N), this will only be for a week! Then, I have to go back to work! Maybe... Maybe, when I puppeteer you at work, on set, you'll go back to your world? Just wait. If my theory is true, you'll be back in no time!" The puppet nods, folding their arms. They look away from Wally, clearly upset and full of dismay.

Wally picks up (Y/N), holding them in his arms gently, almost like he is cradling the most precious thing in the world. To him, he is. Nothing could compare to (Y/N)! The effect they have had on the children who watch the show brings him such joy. The way they talk about kindness, acceptance, generosity, and creativity is all that he has wanted to see in life. He has always wanted that kindness, that acceptance, and affection for himself! Now, he can. Now, he can have (Y/N).

His co-workers may call him crazy, saying something is wrong with him... having crushes on fictional characters is childish in their eyes- something an adult shouldn't do. They've been on his back for him talking to the puppet like it could talk back, how he never seems to let it go, and how his little obsession is made stranger, considering that he puppeteers the character. They've always told him that (Y/N) isn't real and to let go. Jokes on them, because now Wally's precious, sweet (Y/N) is real! They're real and they're his.

[stylinsoncity]

posting this long snippet from the time travel fic i've been writing.. might not make any sense out of context but oh well. i think i'll also post a penn park snippet too. just to confirm for you all that i'm alive and writing lol

“This isn’t Back to the Future, Lou. Everything that’s meant to happen has already happened. Nothing you say can really change that. But it’s bad form and technically violates witch law for us to, like…tell you next week’s winning lottery numbers or something.”

“But it’s not against the rules to bring me here?”

“No,” Harry says. “It’s not like you’ll be going out or interacting with anyone else. You’ll be staying with us.”

“Who’s us?”

Harry peeks at him. He hesitates for a while. “Um. Me…and my husband.”

Louis angles his body to face him. “Husband?”

Harry throws another skittish glance his way.

“So you’re actually…?” Louis wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans. “When did you decide for sure you were…?”

“Gay?” Harry supplies. “Maybe it was when you kissed me.”

“You kissed me.”

“You kissed me back,” Harry says. “Enthusiastically.”

“Whatever. Is that genuinely when you knew? You started snogging boys exclusively from then on?”

“Well, I was snogging a girl just now before we left, as you saw. And a boy,” Harry says. “But yeah, I guess…not long after that party, I decided to stick to blokes. Or just…one, really.”

Louis nearly misses that last bit. “What?”

Harry turns the radio up. “That’s enough questions for now. And we’re almost home.”

Louis goes on staring at him for a bit longer, wondering if he’s understood correctly. Did Harry meet his husband at that party? Was it someone he met the following week? Was Louis that stupid to step aside and let whoever it was take his place? Apparently so.

The mood grows tenser from then on, mostly due to Louis’ adamant silence and sour mood, neither of which he can justify. Did he expect Harry to never marry? Did he expect Harry to marry him?

Louis snorts aloud and sees Harry sneak a look at him. He sinks further into his seat, arms crossed over his chest, and stares through the windscreen for the rest of the ride.

Within the next few minutes, the car slows and turns at the corner of a downward sloping drive. At the end of the drive, as Harry approaches, a garage door rises. Louis didn’t see Harry press any buttons but perhaps it’s automatic.

Then Louis sees him. Or himself. Or his older self. At first he doesn’t believe his eyes. He’s still expecting something dimension-shattering to occur when he’s face to face with a future version of himself. He expects to implode or for Future Louis to fade out of existence. None of that happens, but there’s no denying that the man standing at the door connecting the garage to the house is Louis, eleven years older.

“Trippy, isn’t it?” Harry says, as he cuts the engine. “Ready to meet your future?”

And well, Louis won’t say it aloud because he’d just sound like a dickhead, but his future is quite fit, so the answer is yes. He’s got an actual beard, as opposed to Louis’ vague facial hair. He seems more built and broad around his shoulders and torso. It’s hard to be sure when he’s backlit by the light flowing from the interior of Harry’s home, but even his hair seems shinier and softer. He’s wearing a dark grey knit jumper with the sleeves pushed to his elbows and Louis catches sight of several more tattoos, although he doesn’t get a good look at them before the Older Louis pulls his sleeves down.

Harry pushes his door open, so Louis does the same. And finally meets eyes with himself, unobstructed by the windscreen.

“Forgot how small I was,” Older Louis says and nothing more.

Louis wasn’t expecting to be best mates with his older self or anything, but perhaps they won’t be friends at all. “You’re not exactly Dwayne Johnson, mate.”

Harry snorts, pushing the car door closed. “Don’t start,” he says to Older Louis. He noticeably pats his stomach as he eases past him into the house. It registers as familiar or even flirty to Louis, which is odd but reassuring. At least in the future, in spite of Harry’s husband, they manage to retain their closeness. Harry’s husband must not love that, but clearly Older Louis can’t be arsed.

Louis hears a chorus of barks from further inside and moves more quickly and curiously, eager to see every aspect of Harry’s adult life.

“Shoes off,” Older Louis says to younger Louis at the door. He tacks on a smile. “If you’d be so polite.”

Louis narrows his eyes at him as he shoves his shoes off.

“Come on,” Older Louis says. “I’ll be your tour guide.”

“You don’t even live here,” Louis says.

Older Louis looks at him. “Right,” he says. “Harry just lets me kip here every night ‘cause I don’t have a home of my own.”

“Seriously?”

“The future is tough, mate,” Older Louis says gravely. But just as he turns away, there’s a nearly imperceptible wiggle of his lips that suggests he’d like to laugh.

Louis decides his older self is not to be taken seriously. He’ll get his facts from Harry. Speaking of whom, they find him when they enter the kitchen as he steps inside from the back garden.

“What happened to your dogs?” Louis asks.

“I let them out. Jasper is a senior and when he gets really excited, he wets himself,” Harry says. “And he’ll get really excited seeing two of you.”

“I gave him his meds,” Older Louis says. “Should be fine in a bit.”

“Thanks, babe,” Harry says. His gaze flickers suddenly to younger Louis like he forgot he was there. He clears his throat. “Um, do you want a beer? Or tea? Water?”

“Whatever you’re having,” Louis says.

“Do you like wine?” Harry asks. “I can’t remember if we drank wine at your age.”

“Never too early to start,” Older Louis says. “He’ll like the Malbec.”

“Malbec, it is,” Harry says and goes into a walk-in pantry where he ostensibly keeps the wine. Meanwhile, Older Louis gets three glasses from a cupboard above the sink. He’s really a bit too familiar with Harry’s home. Maybe he is here all the time. Maybe he really doesn’t have a home of his own. Compounded with his imminent death tomorrow, the future doesn’t seem all that bright for Louis. No matter how hot he is.

But his friendship with Harry is a lot to be grateful for. Louis watches Harry and his older self speaking quietly to each other as Harry fills each of the three glasses. He watches Harry laugh at whatever Older Louis says and slap his hand playfully against his chest.

Louis wonders again about Harry’s husband. He wants to ask where he is and when he gets home, but he also never wants him to come home. So long as he’s away, Louis can keep tricking himself into believing he doesn’t exist.

But then he spies the wedding ring on Harry’s finger as Harry hands him a glass of wine and he can’t stop himself from blurting, “Where is he?”

Harry’s brows crease. “Who?”

“Your husband,” Louis says, pointedly.

“Oh.” Harry chews his top lip for a moment. “Why don’t we get comfortable first? Come on.”

Then he takes Louis’ free hand and pulls him off towards the sunken living area. It hasn’t slipped his notice how posh the entire home is. The kitchen was a massive gleaming wonder of marble and bronze. There were five cars in the drive and the first room Louis passed upon entering the home was a gym. He didn’t get a good look at the exterior under the cover of night, but what he could see revealed an expansive upper floor and several outdoor decks.

The living area features two parallel velvet couches, a marble coffee table, and a large flat screen tv mounted above a two-way fireplace. Louis can’t quite tell what’s on the other side of the fireplace but it seems like a formal dining room.

“Your house is fucking amazing,” Louis says, plopping down in a plush leather armchair.

“Thanks,” Harry says, smiling. He sits on the couch across from Louis. “It’s the kind of house you grow into. That’s why we bought it.”

Louis nearly asks if that means Harry has kids, but he has a big greedy gulp of wine instead. He shrivels at the taste initially, finding it bitter and sharp. But then he has another sip and it’s not so much that he likes it, but that he finds it distracting.

Older Louis enters the room much to Louis’ disappointment and takes up the seat right beside Harry.

“I can still get you a beer,” Harry says randomly. “If you don’t like the wine.”

“No,” Louis says. “It’s fine.”

“If there’s anything else you need, just let me know,” Harry says. “I want you to be comfortable.”

“I’m comfortable enough, Haz,” says Louis. “It’s just nice to see where you live in the future, and how well you’ve done for yourself. You deserve all this. The husband, too.”

Older Louis exhales a laugh. “Should I get a box of tissues?”

“Shut up,” Harry says.

“Tell him to shut up,” Older Louis says. “This is embarrassing.”

“If you’re so embarrassed, just leave,” Louis says. “I don’t even get why you’re still here.”

Older Louis groans suddenly and loudly, pressing his fingertips into his eyelids. “There’s no way you’re this daft. No fucking way.”

“Louis,” Harry says. “Please.”

[smoooothoperator]

Save Your Tears

02: Talk To Me

Driver! Mick Schumacher x opera singer! OC (Ophelia Becker)

Strangers to friends to lovers, love at first sight, long plane flight, personal drama, opera references

Words: 2k

Warnings: onesided love

a/n: Hello guys!!!! I officially finished the operas of this month! I fave a little of free time now, so I'll try to post whenever I can

Btw, do you want me to make a playlist? If that's so, what type of music do you want me to add?

Every way of feedback is very welcomed

Masterlist

previous part | next part

Weddings.

A celebration where two people in love promise to love each other for the rest of their lives.

What a beautiful event, right?

But, why does he feel his heart breaking while watching the invitation? Why is he feeling heartbroken when he sees her name next to his best friend's name?

Oh yeah, because she's the love of his life. The love of his life is his best friend's fiance. How classic.

It all started when the three of them were at school. They were a group, their teachers called them the three musketeers because none of them saw them apart from each other. Both boys protected the girl, calling her princess and them thinking they were her knights. 

It was when Mick started to race on karting when they trio started to be a duo. But that never stopped his feelings growing for her. He loved her in silence, wanting to be close to her when he didn't have races.

But soon he saw how she treated his friend. He saw how she touched his arm, how he fixed his hair, how she smiled at him. How she loved him.

"We wanted to tell you a while ago" Stephanie mumbled, looking down at her lap. "But you are away all the time…"

"Because I am following my dreams" Mick frowned. "I thought you two supported me"

"We do! But… we felt alone, mate" Josh sighed. "And it just happened. While you were away we just… we fell in love"

Fell in love. That's what he did when he was five years old. He fell in love with Stephanie and she just fell in love with Josh. 

He went pale when he saw Josh giving him the invitation for the wedding and he immediately forgot it on top of his living room table.

He never stopped loving Stephanie, but somehow he felt she was already out of reach. She doesn't talk to him like she used to when they were younger, she doesn't hug him as close as she used to. 

When they say that having a relationship inside a group of friends can bring problems, they know what they were talking about. And that's something he started to understand the moment they told him about their relationship.

So when the day of flying back to his home came, he started to freak out.

What if he confessed his feelings many years ago? What if he wasn't away when they were teens? What if he focused more on his friends instead of his career? 

What if, what if…

What if he misses the plane?

But, why is he thinking that when he's already at the airport? Five hours before getting in the plane that takes him to his home?

His mind was spiraling, punishing him by remembering all the chances he had to confess his feelings and he never did.

He looked around, sitting on a table while he charged his phone, observing the people walking around him.

He wonders if someone knows who he is. Maybe they do and can feel how anxious he is, so they make sure to not bother him. 

And then he heard a voice, a velvet and melodic voice that made him look up from the screen, making his eyes stop looking at a picture of Stephanie.

A girl, with chocolate hair and chocolate eyes, was asking for an iPhone charger.

The moment their eyes met, he felt shivers, goosebumps. Suddenly he smiled, but he couldn't understand why.

"Here" he smiled, disconnecting his phone after looking at his battery. "I have enough battery"

She smiled weakly, making him frown curious. Her eyes are red like she cried recently, her face is covered with make up like she came from an important event but her outfit says otherwise.

"Are you okay?" he asked, looking carefully at her.

He saw her flinch and take a deep breath, how her lips curved up on a fake smile. Something's not right.

"Yeah, of course " she said, making his heart race after hearing her voice.

Oh, what is that?

He saw her sitting on the chair next to him, grabbing her backpack and placing it on the table with a long sigh.

"I'm Mick" he said, giving her the charger with a smile.

"Like Mick Jagger?" she chuckled softly, making him smile like a fool.

Okay, what is happening?

"Fan of The Rolling Stones?" he laughed, looking how she blushed. 

"Kinda" she laughed. "I'm Ophelia"

"Like Ophelia from Hamlet?" Mick chuckled too, watching how she smiled weakly and nodded.

"Exactly" she sighed.

He smiled weakly and looked at her while she looked at things on her phone. She's gorgeous, somehow. Her voice was something that bewitched him, and her eyes gave him the need to eat chocolate. The makeup of her face looks fancy, like she came straight from a fashion show.

He looked at her backpack, watching a book with the title Romeo et Juliette inside of it.

"Fan of Shakespeare?" he asked, wanting to hear her voice again.

"Oh… no, well yeah" she smiled. "It's from an opera. I am Juliette"

"No way, are you an opera singer?" he asked, surprised, raising his eyebrows. "You don't look like one"

"Oh, and how are we supposed to look like?" she frowned, hiding a smile and looking at him, her body facing him. 

"I don't know… kinda fancy? Like someone who is hard to reach?" he frowned, trying to create in his mind the image of what she could be.

"Well, I'm not like that" she shrugged, making him feel stupid. 

An uncomfortable silence fell between them, making his leg bounce anxious again, biting the nail of his thumb and look at his phone.

"Where are you flying to?" she asked suddenly, making his heart jump again after hearing her voice.

"Zurich" he sighed. "My flight is on four hours"

"Oh, we'll be on the same flight" she smiled weakly. 

He hummed and nodded, looking at her. There's something in her that calls his attention, something in her eyes and how sad they looked.

"Are you hungry?" he asked her. "I have a business seat and I can go to the VIP room"

"Oh, I have it too" she nodded. "And, yeah… I'm hungry"

They got up from the chairs and grabbed all their things. Mick saw how she moved, how slowly and smooth her movements were. It was like she was a ballerina.

Both of them walked towards the VIP room, none of them understanding why they walked so close to the other, making their arms brush softly against the other. 

Ophelia felt goosebumps all over her body, and she could feel peace in her mind once his blue eyes met hers. It was a weird feeling, she barely knows him.

"So… what do you want to eat?" Mick asked her, looking around the room trying to find an empty table for them.

"Whatever you want, I'm not picky" she sighed, searching for a table too, and once she found an empty one, she smiled weakly. "Do you want me to take your suitcase so I can go to the table?"

He nodded and smiled, letting her grab his suitcase, making their hands touch. Mick felt like an electric shock, making the hairs of his arms raise up as well as his heartbeat.

She held his suitcase and walked towards the table, sitting there and letting a long sigh escape her lips. She's tired, mentally and physically tired. Just thinking about what will happen once she lands in Zurich…

"I've got you a burger" Mick sait, sitting in front of her and interrupting, again, her thoughts. "I hope you don't mind, is a cheeseburger"

"No, is perfect" she smiled weakly.

He nodded and sighed, eating his sandwich and looking at her from time to time. There's something in her that makes him want to know more. There's something in her eyes that gives him the need to ask her what bothers her, why her smile doesn't reach her eyes.

"So… why are you going to Zurich?" she asked suddenly, making him sigh.

"My best friends are getting married" Mick sighed, eating a french fry after dipping it in ketchup.

"You don't sound happy about that" she pointed, making him smile sadly.

"It's complicated…"

"I'm all ears" she said, biting the burger and looking at him, waiting for him to answer if he wanted to.

He sighed and drank a sip of his drink, taking a deep breath and looking at her. He looks genuinely interested, maybe it's just a way of killing time while waiting for the plane.

"I have known them since I have memory" he began to explain. "It was always the three of us, until it wasn't"

"Why?" 

"I'm a racing driver" he confessed. "I started my career following my dad's steps, and it made me travel a lot… making me leave them"

"I know how that feels" she smiled weakly, making him look at her surprised "Following your dad's steps. I did the same with my mother…"

"I loved her, Stephanie. I still do…" he mumbled, looking at how Ophelia smiled weakly at him. "But I never had the guts to tell her and now she's marrying my best friend"

"Oh, Mick… I'm sorry" she smiled weakly.

"And… you are going to Zurich for a wedding too?" he asked, looking at the dress bag that is on top of her suitcase. "Or for a concert?"

"Eh… yeah, a concert" she smiled weakly. “It’s an important one”

“When is it?” he asked curious.

Something about her makes him want to know more and more. He finds her interesting, mysterious. He never met an opera singer. How is that life? As luxurious as his life? She for sure might have lots of supporters. If her voice sounds like the voice of an angel, how is her voice while singing? Will he hear it?

“Oh… I mean…” she smiled weakly, nervous. “Next week”

“That’s nice!” he nodded smiling, making her lips curve a little more.

They ate the rest of their dinner in silence, talking only the necessary. Both of them, somehow, felt comfortable with the presence of the other. Sometimes they caught the other looking, making both of them chuckle and blush, forgetting their personal problems. He forgot about Stephanie, marrying his best friend. She forgot about what waits for her once she lands in Zurich. Now what was on their mind was them, Mick and Ophelia, Ophelia and Mick: two strangers that fate put them in each other's ways.

“Passengers of the plane with destination to Zurich, please go to gate A24”

Mick frowned, leaving the glass of water on the table while listening to the speakers.

“That’s our plane!” both of them gasped, getting up and grabbing all their things, running through the corridors.

When they arrived at the gates, they were the last ones, but at least they arrived in time. When the flight attendant asked for their tickets she smiled, making them frown.

“Have a good flight” she smiled. 

They nodded and smile at each other weakly. This is a goodbye.

“It was so nice talking with you” Mick smiled, looking at her. 

“Yeah” she smiled. “Good luck in the wedding, I guess…”

“And good luck in your concert” he smiled nodding.

He stopped there. The business seats are at the front of the plane, so he just searched for a place where he can leave the suitcase after placing his backpack on the seat he will have.

“No way” he heard her laugh. “Are you really going to sit there?”

Mick turned around, and his heart started to beat fast.

It was the same feeling when someone tells you good news, or when they give you something you really wanted, or when they congratulate you for doing a good job, or even when you eat your favorite food. He felt his smile grow when he saw how she placed her black backpack on the seat next to his.

"I guess you won't get away from me so easily" he chuckled, wanting to repeat that phrase over and over again.

taglist

@racinggirl @elisysd @lorarri @musingsbyshreya

[mrsnancywheeler]

omg i was offline for a while but now im feasting on ur fics as i catch up HAHA😋🍽️ (sorry if i flood ur inbox in the process </3)

but with ur recent post talking about the reader’s trauma with hypothermia has got me #thinking. bc where i live, the weather is so spontaneous. it could be clear skies for one minute and suddenly just pouring rain/snow the next.

so i wonder what it would be like if the weather in district four was the same :( like it hurts so much thinking abt finn and the reader having a good day outside (it might be one of the first few times they’ve gone out together in a while) bc she finally feels ok enough. Then it suddenly starts raining and she just shuts down— or maybe she tries to act okay for finn because he was really looking forward to going out with his sweet girl :(( im just rambling lmao sorry

but i was also #thinking abt how on their first date, the reader jumps into the water and finnick joins her :(( and they spent the rest of their date swimming etc :(( and tft, shortly after winning her games, they probably couldn’t do that for a while bc either the cold water reminds her of the hypothermia or when marlow nearly drowned her :( I just imagined finnick swimming by himself and missing his sweet girl :((

idk i just be saying things HAHA ok time to catch up on everything 🏃‍♀️💨

-🦅

literally missed you so much pookie 💋💋

I hope you eat well and literally please flood my inbox I love it so so much

reader is literally like a professional masker most of the time lmao. so like maybe they're a few months out from her games, the spontaneous weather of it all has made it really difficult for her to go outside besides going to the markets with finnick a couple of times or sitting on the balcony. and she's so confused about how she feels about the ocean now because she loves it and always has, but now it makes her survival instincts kick in or brings her back to a place of near death. eventually when the water was warm she'd be able to to do warm water, and after a few years it really restricts itself to the cold and freezing rain, but for a while her relationship with water and the weather is very tumultuous.

but like finnick sees the weather is nice one day and asks reader if they can go sailing again. he hasn't been able to enjoy doing it alone since he first did it with her, and he misses it. and she misses it too even if it's difficult to let herself do, and she wants him to be happy. so she agrees. he packs lunch, she picks a book to read to him, he's got his fishing poles, and everything is set up. for most of the day it's good, it's warm and sunny, they're both grateful for the heat to be beating down on their skin. finnick would notice the clouds coming in first and quietly try to start leading the boat back to shore. letting her keep reading as not to disturb her, so this will just be a close call instead. but the weather has other plans and when he realizes this he has no choice but to mention it.

"angel, I'm sorry, I'm trying to get us back to shore, but it looks like it's going to rain. we're not going to be in it for long, I'm sorry."

and she's his sweet girl, so even though her stomach is turning with anxiety, she smiles through it. "it's okay, finn, I'll be fine." he knows it's a lie and she's already curling up into a ball, but there's not much he can do except reassure her that it will be okay. then the rain starts, it's not terribly cold, but it's rain. she strains to make small talk, but it's impossible to resist the urge to transport herself back into the arena. to cover her ears and try to provide warmth from curling up.

and finnick is trying to sail back, but also protect her from the rain, to tell her that it's all okay, to rub circles on her hands to keep her planted in reality. but by the time they've made it back to the pier she's having a full blown panic attack, that she can't hide even if she tries.

and he's getting her back out of the rain, into the house as fast as he can. getting her dry, bringing her back, breathing deeply, asking her to name things she smells, sees, hears, feels. when she's calmed down she's still crying and so apologetic.

"I'm sorry, you should go back out, I know you were excited. I'm really sorry, I always ruin everything."

"no, no, no, no, hey, hey sweet girl, don't be sorry. I'm not upset and you didn't ruin a thing, I just wanna take care of you."

once upon a time reader and finnick could swim every single day, multiple times and then suddenly it was stopped. not just because of the weather, but the water. and he'll never push it but he misses swimming with his sweet girl. he'll think non-stop about her, collect little treasures for her, but he diligently waits for her to slowly get accustomed to everything before then. but when she finally does start swimming with him again it'll be totally worth the wait.

yes yes yes, I hope you enjoy it ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[just-wrting]

The Babysitter (Part 4)

Title: The Babysitter (Part 4)

Summary: You do your best to get a little closer to Aaron, while still keeping enough distance that you don't catch feelings. The only problem? It doesn't seem like it's working.

Word Count: 2687

Master List Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

A/N: I promised that Part 4 would be what I posted next and here it is!!!! It only took me longer than expected. I also think that despite the migraines and my terrible work schedule I'll be doing my best to post 3x a week. Also yes I know, I didn't post this at 3 AM my time for once.

You stretch and lean back on the couch. Aaron had texted you that plane had landed and that he’d be on his way soon. It's already much later than you want it to be. Jack has been asleep for a while, leaning against you while the TV plays whatever movie is on.

You know you shouldn’t go to sleep now, not when Aaron is so close to being back home, but you can’t fight it anymore. You shuffle Jack into your arms, it's much harder to move a sleeping child than an awake one, and go to the bedroom.

You're too tired to take Jack to his bed, so you take him to Aaron’s room. You push the covers to Aaron’s bed back and climb in. You shuffle the blanket around you and Jack, tucking it under his chin. Within seconds, you feel your eyes flutter shut. You wish you could stay up until toron gets here. That thought doesn't stop you from falling asleep.

——

You wake up well rested to an empty bed. A slightly burnt smell wafts through the house. You race to the kitchen in a panic, worried that Jack has decided to mess with stuff. Instead Jack is standing next to the toaster, with Aaron.

"You should’ve woken me up,” you say as you lean against the doorway. "You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“I didn't want to wake you. Jack said you had a long week so I thought it was best to let you sleep."

Aaron sets a plate on the table and Jack rushes over to you. He eagerly grabs your arm, and guides you towards the table.

"I helped make you breakfast!"

The way he smiles makes your heart melt, and you sink into a chair.

"Yeah I can see that But is it really okay to eat without you? Maybe I’ll wait a bit.”

Aaron sets two pieces of toast on your plate. The edges are darker than you prefer but you know better than to make a face about it in front of Jack.

"It’s fine. Better to eat it while it's still hot," Aaron says with a gentle smile. "Besides, Jack ate first.”

“That doesn't stop me from feeling a bit bad. How much sleep did you get Aaron?”

His silence is the answer. He got less sleep than you wish he would as is, not to mention how strenuous his job is. You make note to talk to about that habit as soon as you can.

—-

As you pack up your things you hear a knock at the door. You hear Aaron get the door and a voice talking about Jack. Walking to the front door leads to you seeing a mom and son duo.

“He's been talking about this all day," the mom giggles, "I'm so grateful that you’re willing to let Jack come over for a little bit."

You slide up to Aaron and take a look. The kid is Jack’s age, so you guess he's a friend from school. The guess is correct as Jack shoves his shoes on and runs between you and Aaron to go outside.

"I had some stuff to do so it made sense for him to go with a friend.”

"Alright. Just text me when you want me to bring him back. He's always welcome."

With that, the three of them left. You take your time watching Jack get into the car and leave, choosing to stay silent for a minute.

"When did you set that up," you ask, turning to Aaron. "Cause I didn't.”

"This morning. I figured it would give us time to talk about things.”

You nod, "There's still coffee left so we best get to it. I just want a few things to clear up."

A sigh leaves his lips. “I can imagine there's a lot to clear up.

You make both coffees. "I'm not upset with you, if that makes you feel better.

"I suppose it does. I don't know what I'd do if you decided to leave."

"'Probably hire someone else."

"'I don't-" he sighs, “Jack doesn't want someone else."

Your eyes soften as you look at Aaron. He looks exhausted. You want to push him into bed and force him to sleep. You feel yourself thinking about how much you'd like to help him .

“Good thing I love you guys.”

Aaron chuckles. “That’s good. He’d be heartbroken if you left.”

“I can tell. He looks so sad when I have to leave for the night.”

“He does, doesn’t he? What was it you wanted to know?”

You hold the coffee mug in both hands, staring at the surface. There’s only a few topics you want to ask about, you just aren’t sure where to start. There’s stuff about his job, not to mention a topic that you’re positive will be awkward, Jack’s mom.

“Let’s start with an obvious one. Why didn’t you want to tell me about your job? I’m sure that not wanting me to run far away was part of it.”

There’s a pained look on his face. He probably has lots of stories of things happening to people he knows that aren’t agents. You want to give him some sort of comfort, but you aren’t sure what you’d even say.

“You’re right. I also just don’t want you to get hurt. I’ve seen what people will do to people around me and everyone on my team and I was hoping that if you didn’t find out you’d be safer,” he explains, the expression on his face unwavering.

“I’m sorry. I hate to ask it then, but does that choice have anything to do with Jack’s mother? You don’t have to give me details, I just am unsure if I’ll meet her.”

This time, Aaron takes a while to answer. You worry that you’ve asked too much. Clearly something bad happened, and it still weighs heavy on his mind. You choose to focus on your coffee as you try to figure out how to backtrack.

“Forget I asked about it, Aaron. I’m sure I understand enough without you explaining it.”

He shakes his head. “It’s okay. You’re right. My job got in the way and she passed.”

You reach across the table and give his hand a quick squeeze. “You don’t have to say anything else. I’m not entitled to information like that. How about you tell me about this team of yours?”

“I think you’d like them. They do tend to profile everyone however, which can be an issue.”

You give Aaron a smile. “Does that mean you’ve been profiling me since the beginning? And why you didn’t need a background check?”

“Our tech analyst is amazing. She’d find any sort of dirt on you I’d need. Not that I need any.”

“That is a bit terrifying. I’ll make sure to behave I guess. Is she super nosey?”

A small smile breaks across his face. “For sure. Penelope Garcia knows everything I could ever need about you.”

“So do you know everything from my star sign to where I live? Or is that just her?”

“I don’t know any of that. I just made sure you don’t have a criminal background.”

“That’s good. If there’s anything you want to know just ask me. Besides that I don’t have any other questions.”

You down the rest of your coffee and move to the sink.

“Then I’ll get to work. I have some paperwork to get done.”

You turn and look at him. A hand rests on your hip and you frown.

“You’ll do the paperwork after you rest, right? I know for a fact you didn’t get a lot of sleep.”

Aaron looks a bit startled at your question. “I’ll be okay.”

“What time did you get home? When did you go to bed? You slept on the couch, right? When did Jack wake you up?”

“I got home around midnight and went to sleep shortly after. I promise I’m fine.”

You cross your arms and frown. “That doesn’t mean much, Aaron.”

“I’m used to it at this point. Long nights are a part of my job.”

“Aaron, I work with kids. I know how to make you take a nap," you say, Your voice is calm, but you hope he knows you’re serious. "You worry about Jack all the time. Someone has to worry about you.”

“I'll be fine, You don't need to worry about me.”

"Too late. I’m already worried."

Despite the frown, Aaron isn't taking you seriously. His eyes are crinkled and you're sure there's a small hidden behind the coffee mug.

"Since you insist, I'll try to rest. I can’t promise anything."

“I'm sure you'll find the bedroom is nap ready. I swapped out the curtains so it was easier to sleep and brought a fan over.”

Aaron sets his coffee mug next to the sink. You were right about the smile. The corners of his lips are still upturned. You know he’s probably doing this to make you feel better.

—

Thankfully, you’re able to do everything you need around the house. The dishes, sweeping, dusting and various other chores are a breeze without anything or anyone in your way. Things you have been putting off due to a lack of time are officially done. The only place you haven’t cleaned is the master bedroom.

After a few hours, you hear Aaron begin his paperwork. You do your best to not check in on him again, but you can’t help yourself from peering through the crack of the door. His face is set in a frown, and his eyebrows are furrowed. The way he meticulously goes through each page is impressive.

You aren’t sure if he’s eaten, and you can feel the lack of food start to catch up to you. After setting your resolve, you push the door open and lean against the doorframe. Aaron looks up at you almost immediately.

“I know there’s not much in the fridge since I’ve got to go to the store, but did you want lunch? I may not be able to make something that’ll impress you, but I could probably impress a kid,” you joke with a light smile.

While Aaron doesn’t say anything, he gives you more of his attention. You take that as a good sign, and keep rambling.

“Does a PB&J with an apple and milk sound okay? There’s even some leftover brownies that I’ll throw in. That’s something a kid may like, but maybe not something you’d like.”

“Sure. That does sound like something that a kid would like and be impressed by.”

“Of course it is. I cut the apple up which is a superior way of eating it, and they get sugar. Not to mention, sometimes I let them have some chips."

Aaron's smile is less tense, and you feel satisfied. Nothing makes you feel better than knowing you can make someone important to you happier.

“I'll get started on that. Will Jack be joining us for dinner?"

"I thought that it would be a good idea for him to spend as much time as he wants with his friend. It gives me time to get you a contact list for his friends’ parents and that way you can have some free time.”

“If you insist. I already have free time. It's usually a few hours after he's in bed that you’re home. Plus he has stuff he likes to keep "secret" like things for you.”

The frown is back. "What about your dating life? I'm sure that whoever you're seeing wants to see you more."

“Yeah I'm sure that's what my ex would want. I'll make lunch real fast."

You make your escape to the kitchen as quick as you can. Talking about your ex unisn't something you're keen on doing. It was a messy ending.

You push all relationship thoughts out of your head. This is not the time or place to be thinking like that. It's lunch time, which means focusing on making food. Not that making a PB and J is hard.

The whole thing only takes you about ten minutes; you really should just buy an apple slicer. It would save you so much effort. In fact, Aaron's house was missing some of that stuff that would make housework easier.

You do your best to arrange the food on the plate, hoping it all fits. Balancing more than two plates is a struggle, so you choose to grab the drinks separately. Milk is hard to get out carpets if you don’t have the right materials. The smell will attract a pet and that's a hassle. At least it doesn't stain.

"Where do you want me to set this?"

Aaron shuffles the papers into neat piles, creating a space in the middle of the desk. You avert your eyes, not wanting to read the files. Even if they weren’t confidential, it isn't something that you’d want to read. After setting down the plates, you go to get the drinks.

The first few minutes of eating are done in silence. You’d like to get to know Aaron better, you just don’t want to come off as weird. It would suck if he misunderstood your intentions. Not that you wouldn’t date him.

"Something’s on your mind. Did you want to talk about it?”

"No. I think I’ll be okay in regards to what I was thinking about. On a different topic, what do you and Jack do together?”

Aaron looks a little ashamed at the question. You can sense he has a lot of guilt about how things have turned out. The look in his eyes makes you want to comfort him, but you don’t know what to say.

“If you ever want to talk about something, you can talk to me,” you offer. "I won't understand everything, but it's still good to get it out.”

“Maybe at a time when I don’t have so much paperwork,” he says with a sad smile. "I almost feel like-“

"Work has taken over your life? Tell me about it. I love kids, but there are times I wish I choose different job. Like the time all three kids had the flu, so I was cleaning up so much vomit.”

The rest of the meal is spent telling each other embarrassing work stories. Aaron shares things from all his team members, while you tell him the ridiculous things some kids have done. As the stories go on, you find yourself entranced by his laugh. The way his eyes crinkle and the corner of his lips turn up have your heart almost skipping a beat. For some reason, you start to feel self-conscience. Thankfully, the doorbell rings.

"I’ll get it. You probably need to get back to work," you say as you collect the dishes.

You stack the dishes, and carefully close the door behind you. You don't even bother going to the kitchen, opting to just set the dishes on a table nearby. Thankfully, the doorbell rings only the one time. You see the mom from earlier standing there, and swing open the door. Jack rushes in to hug you. You ruffle his hair as the mom starts to speak.

“I’m so glad that Aaron’s finally dating again. Poor man has been alone for too long,” she laments. “How long has it been?”

“I'm not sure. I didn't even know Aaron was dating," you reply with a shrug.

“Wait, you aren’t dating Aaron?” Her face is

turning red. "With how Jack talks about you, I thought maybe. He doesn’t talk about anyone but his dad like that.”

"It's Fine. Can’t blame you for what kids say," you offer with a smile. "No harm done.”

She doesn't say more, instead rushing back to her car. You don’t stop her, figuring that would make it worse.

You'll mention it to Aaron, hoping that he’ll be able to handle it.

For now, you'll be content to make Jack happy by pretending to be whoever he wants. After all, Aaron will have fixed it by tomorrow and there won’t be any more problems.

@rousethemouse @ash-whimsicalfanfic If anyone wants to be added to a tag list let me know!

[ateezwriter100799]

Pirates and Utopia pt.3

hey Guys sry for Not Posting anything for so Long. I Had some Trouble with school and didn't have enough time to write anything. But anyway Here is the 3rd Part of my Story. I hope you enjoy and i'll try to Post more offen now.

Summary: Another day has past and you Guys only need another day to arrive at Utopia. Everyone is getting ready to Go on the Island including (y/n) but something feels off...

Trigger warnings: flashbacks of abuse, description of torture and blood mentioned

Masterlist

Another day started and i Help the Other get ready to Take Off at Utopia. I feel way better now, the wounds don't Hurt anymore but my voice is still Not Back at all. Hongjoong and i talked about how He wants to get me Back to my Family after we went to Utopia. On the inside i Kinde of feel sad that i have to Go but i can't leave my Family alone.

I'm currently helping Wooyoung and Mingi to kook some snacks for the Guys. They have been working really hard since yesterday. I Help all around the ship, or Well as much as i can at least. As we Finish the Snacks i bring some to San, Yunho, Seonghwa and Yeosang, who are currently helping on deck.

"oh Guys Look who is Here!" Yunho Cheers as He spots me Walking Up to them.

"Our little flower comes to say hi?" Seonghwa sais with a Smile as He Turns around.

Seonghwa has been calling me all sords of nicknames since yesterday. The Same Thing goes for San. I nod as i Show them the plate of fruits and some Other Snacks.

"thank you so much little one. We needed that." San sais as He Takes the Plate Out of my Hands and Sets it on a barell behind him.

I Just Smile at them and keep them some company while they work.

"we are getting closer to Utopia...i can feel how the Waters change." Seonghwa sais as He Looks Out into the horizon.

We Look at Seonghwa confused, Well me at least. He can feel the Waters change? What does He mean by that? I decide Not to question it and Just keep working. Somehow i can feel a Strange Feeling in my Body as i Look Out into the horizon.

(y/n)

My eyes snap shut as i hear my Name called by a Strange voice. What the...?

(y/n)

Again...i don't understand. I Turn around to See the Guys chatting with eachother None of them really playing Attention to me, so who is calling my Name?

(Y/N)!!

I gasp and Fall Back as the voice Screams.

"(y/n) are you alright?!" Yunho asks as He Sees me falling backwards.

I nod as i keep looking into the distance. What the hell is going on? What is happening? I have so many questions in my head right now. I decide to Go Back to my room and Take some Rest. Maybe i'm Just tired thats all.

I lay down and Close my eyes, trying my best to sleep. But the voice...it keeps calling my name. It feels Like it wants me to follow it's call...weird. I Fall asleep but i'm dreaming...

I See my family...my friends...but- the water...its bloody! What the hell. They are Screaming my Name! What is going on?! Now i See Humans...i can't See their faces but...it feels Like i know them.

I can hear me Screaming and crying Out for help. Everything is Red and blurry...i can hear them laughing and calling my name. They know me? How? More screams and loud punches are Heard. God what is this...why does it feels so real? Like it happend before.

I snap my eyes Open and sit Up in my bed covert in sweat and tears. What the hell? I can hear the Same voice that called my Name say Utopia.

What does that mean? Should i Tell the Guys? Who were the people in my dream?

I have so many question...and i feel Like they can't be answerd...

Weird...

(y/n)....UTOPIA!!

So...yeah this war Part 3 and i hope you enjoyed it! I'll Post paar 4 in the Next few days (hopefully). Let me know If you want to have another Story (also with one member) it would make me really happy. Thank you Guys for all the already given likes ❤️

[nejishadow]

PART 5 of Kenji Tomochika and kenjikoto drabbles and things, because I have way too many ideas!

Same all all these compilation posts, you're free to be inspired or build on these ideas, for the ships and characters involved! Fanfic / fanart / whatever!! Just please show me or I'll be unfulfilled in this life

This is kinda catching up on stuff, so it's a huge mix of random things. As always spent too much time cleaning and tidying everything ha

Guest starring tomozuki, a cameo from Hidetoshi, and overthinking way too much about this stuff!

--------------------

Headcanon stuff

--------------------

Headcanon that Kenji also owns a PSP (I always assumed Junpei's handheld was one), and just maybe puts off his studying to play it. I imagine more casual games like Daxter, but maybe also classics like Tomb Raider. Maybe the Metal Gear titles, once Peacewalker comes out. Can see him and Junpei passing that back and forth to figure it out. Maybe him and Makoto pass Megaman X or Powered up back and forth when they're on the train, and Kenji ends up watching him play more than he himself plays it.

It also gives Kenji and Makoto something to do during their sleepover. I dunno if Kenji would have a PS3 even if his family is well off enough to afford a private school, the prices on those things was dumb

----------

Read a fic that mentioned how some people plan out their dream wedding from a mega young age And thought, is that Kenji behavior?

Came to the conclusion he's never thought about it, what's the point? It's so far on the future. Then that led to, no way Makoto has thought about that stuff either, considering, well, Everything.

Funny if meeting another person who just doesn't care about that stuff gets him thinking about it for once. But comes to the conclusion that maybe marriage is overrated huh, he couldn't hang out so much with his best friend if he got married! (He will not think about the exact meaning of that for a Long Time, he's dense)

----------

I was thinking about the ferris wheel line in my fic, and thought farther Kenji does feel the guy who's afraid of stuff like heights and rollercoasters. But if his friend is also afraid, he'll be brave to make them more comfortable to face that fear.

Which then made me think, Makoto pretending to be afraid of rollercoasters -- cause he knows Kenji will step up to help him -- because he didn't wanna sit next to a stranger on the ride

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Ship Stuff

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Thinking about tomozuki and/or kenjikoto trying to study

Starts out ok, Makoto and Kenji focused, Makoto in order to keep the others focused, Kenji because he does not want to take summer or catch up classes.

But Ryoji makes that harder and harder. First just tilting in the chair or flipping a pen But then he starts walking around, finding excuses to bring up convos. Makoto finally telling him to sit down

Ok! Malicious compliance. Shoves his chair between them and sits down, resting on Kenji, then on Makoto, reading both their notes.

Kenji sputtering, dude! You could sit anywhere!

And he wants to sit here

Sigh. Makoto doesn't care, if it means they'll both focus sit wherever. He's been through too many antics to be affected much. (Ryoji originally wasn't supposed to be here anyways, supposed to be just him and Kenji)

Kenji grumbling, fine, he's used to this anyways, he guesses.

Smug Ryoji, he's won

----------

I dunno how common school dances are in Japan, but I was thinking of Kenji trying to ask Makoto, but trying to be chill? Not succeeding?? Something just after school is let out before they leave class.

"So… ask anyone to the dance yet?"

"Nah."

"… are you going at all?"

"Nah. Don't dance much."

"Well, I already paid for tickets, but everyone I asked turned me down so, I thought you could have one… Just in case! Or we could go together - not like together together, alone together? Agh, ignore everything I'm sayin', man, I'm just being dumb. Can give it to one of your doormmates or somethin'."

Makoto looking at him, head resting on his hands. Staring. He's really thinking… Takes the ticket

"Sure. I don't want your money to go to waste. I'll pick you up."

Kenji, getting a bit flustered, assumes Makoto's poking fun at him a little bit "C'mon dude, I'm not a girl! You don't have to act like some prince or whatever."

"Ok, if you say so"

Makoto's now going to convince Mitsuru to lend him her motorcycle to pick up Kenji for this dance, which will prompt her to ask why, and it will all end with Makoto dressing so fancy and embarrassing Kenji by picking him up on said motorcycle along with flowers and who knows what else lol

Also also I can only see Makoto ships ending up on the roof to dance to their own music, cause the main floor is either too loud or too much drama. Much more fun with just each other.

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Thinking about Kenji overthinking valentines day If he gives Makoto chocolate does that make him look girly, will he be made fun of? But he wouldn't think that if Makoto gave him any… If he doesn't and Makoto was expecting some he'd look stupid! … but Makoto doesn't seem the type to be dazzled you bought him chocolate He could wait til white day! But if Makoto doesn't give him any for valentines won't he look desperate? Raagh this stuff is so dumb * thunks head on desk *

Makoto in his seat meanwhile zero worries. He's planning to give everyone he knows some cookies (if Kenji gets extra nobody better bring it up (Ryoji would and be pouty about it))

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Don't think I've talked about my thoughts on how affectionate protags are.

Physically, Makoto the least. Barely will touch people or get in their bubble… unless you're someone very close to him. Kenji very used to this, he's usually the one initiating any sorta touch. Until they start dating. Then Makoto is a lot more touchy

Turn a corner where there aren't a lotta people? Links their pinkies for a second Waiting for the train? Holds Kenji's arm and leans on him for a bit Watching a movie? Won't stop holding his hand and playing with their fingers And when chilling at home, just fully leaning on him, legs tangled and ready to nap

Kenji very much enjoying it, but it's not good for his heart cause he's not used to it. Every time Makoto brushes him has a mini heart attack, but no way he'd tell him to stop

----------

Had very short thought of Kenji convincing Makoto to go to a house party (presumably they'd be newly into college, dormmates?), he's heard the things are wild fun! Makoto prob agreed to mostly keep an eye on him, doesn't want Kenji getting into too much trouble.

But very quickly, Makoto is miserable. He doesn't know many people here, it's loud and not in a good way, he wants out. But can't just abandon Kenji, who knows what could happen.

Kenji finally notices, and immediately any fun vibes are dead. Annoyed with himself he didn't think about this, the guy's always wearing headphones of course it's gonna be too loud. Drags Makoto out with him, despite any protests. Realizes he can't have any fun if Makoto's not having fun. He wanted them to have fun together after all.

They finally find a place to sit, and Kenji just tight hugs Makoto, learned during their years of friendship the pressure eases him. Kenji assuring Makoto it's more fun to hang out with just him anyway. Don't worry about it. Let's just go buy a huge pizza and watch bad movies until 6 am

Then they can both be wrapped up in a huge blanket with their pizza, and get to decompress.

Aka two different types of autism, they're still figuring out all the ins and outs of occupying the same space, what they can and can't do together

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Singer / Idol and Fan AU

I'm not as interested in idol or singer AUs - outside of a few specific renditions - but I was sick so it was something I was thinking about

Makoto part of a band as rapper and backup singer, not the most popular member of it, but possibly the most skilled. Been doing music as a hobby the longest and the only one who can rap.

First time Kenji listens to their music, Makoto's vocals really impress him. Listens to the songs with Makoto at the forefront way more, because he really likes his voice. It is not because he finds his voice attractive, don't even insinuate it (that's 100% the reason)

These AUs can go a million ways, so unsure exactly the way I would go with it. - Band coming back to Tatsumi port for a break after a small tour? - Back there for a special concert as a favor to Mitsuru, who's helped pay for tours? - Makoto quits for a bit due to the stress - not doing this for stardom anyway - and somehow him and Kenji meet? - Kenji goes to a meet and greet and is the only one to hold an extended convo with Makoto, everyone else trying to talk to the other band members (maybe Yukari, Aki and Shinji)??

Could even combine multiple ideas. Band returns for a special concert, because Makoto is going on break (public doesn't know this), and Kenji figures it out at the meet and greet because other fans want to talk to the others instead, Makoto offputs a lotta people after all.

--------------------

Dating Sim AU

Makoto is Kenji's fav character in a game -- if we're being more tropey a side character in a dating sim --who suddenly is romanceable / the game acts as if he romanced him.

Kenji so confused. None of the guys are romanceable, especially not a side character. Is his disc scratched up and the wrong visuals are getting loaded?

But all this dialogue is new... he always did wanna know more about Makoto... nothing's crashed so maybe it'll be ok to keep playing? Maybe it's cut content he somehow activated by doing stuff the devs never expected, he doesn't know.

Unsure if it'd be better to lean into the 'Makoto is sentient' angle, so he can come to like Kenji back and want to be with him. Or whether it is a part of the game that shouldn't have been accessed, but Kenji's sheer affection activated it. Both could be bittersweet because could end it on Makoto will never be real or only his, but I'm a sucker so would like a way for them to have a happy ending.

Then you get the silly but sweet cute visual of a character kissing a screen, because that's the closest they can get to the other.

I'm just a sucker for stories of people being forced to confront their true selves. In this case Kenji coming to accept he likes men through the safe place that is Makoto's romance route.

--------------------

Android Makoto AU

This one came about while thinking vaguely of Absolute Boyfriend (I haven't read the manga in over 10 years so idk keep that in mind lol)

Makoto made as the perfect house companion android. He's generally the opposite traits of Kenji because of this. Quiet, reserved, not overly talkative and not touchy.

Maybe parents got him because they're gone so often, and can keep their son company (aka out of trouble). But Kenji refuses to treat him like a robot. He looks and acts like a guy, he's gonna treat him like one!

Insert long sequence of events wherein Makoto learns all the stuff about being human, getting to choose what and who he is, and comes to love Kenji, though it may take Kenji even longer to realize he returns those feelings.

They also get to have a cute montage of Kenji dressing him up with everything from his closet, refuses to keep him in boring formal looking stuff, his parents aren't around much anyway, they can suck it up. Makoto comes to treasure the first outfit he was given, the first action that showed him he can be more than others tell him he is.

[blue-howlite]

Day off

Doom breaker edition, headcanons

Feat. Zephyr, Ned, Lucius, Altair.

Warnings: probably ooc.

Author's note: I didn't write about all of them even though I wanted to, but I just couldn't bring myself to imagine Ophelia, Fade and Dariel on a day off and didn't want to force some bad writing. Maybe I'll make a part two for them in the future, but I'm posting this now at least. It sat in my drafts for long enough.

Zephyr

One nice day with no scheming, no training, just chilling with your partner.

You can make some plans together! Like going on a hike, or spending the day reading together... but you'll have to compromise.

A nice hike will likely turn into a chance for him to make you train on a different ground. Reading? More like studying ancient texts that you need for your next quest.

You'll have to impose on him a little to get a day of actual rest that won't turn into another part of his strategy.

It's not that he's obsessive about saving the world... but it is a pretty big deal that occupies most of his mind most of the time since it's about, you know, saving the world.

That's why you have to help him relax a little whenever he can, reminding him that his mental health is also needed for the plan to work.

It might be just a walk in the nearest town with the others, but if you can manage to successfully get his mind off his worries for a few hours that's going to do miracles to his mental health.

He'll thank you for it the next day, giving you lots of affection. Like a lot. Like he'll probably overwhelm you without meaning to, just because he feels better.

He also makes sure your mental health is in a good state. It's one of the other things he worries about, besides the "save the world" plan, and the only one you won't be able to make him forget during your off time.

Little things like words of affirmation and subtle touches while you walk are his way of evaluating your mental state, by checking your reactions.

By the end of the day he makes sure you're also feeling better after all you guys had to endure until now.

Ned

Day off? What's that?

He doesn't know how to unwind. When it looks like he does he's probably just doing it for someone else's sake, so he's only half enjoying it.

Days where you and him can just chill are usually days where you try out different things, to find out what makes him actually relax.

Training is one of the first things he tries. Unfortunately, his brain associates training to imminent danger... so he just ends up more on edge than when he started.

Chess games are good for training the mind, but that does little for his need to relax. Card games have the issue of the unpredictable outcome unless very strict strategies are applied... that's also a no for relaxing.

He also tries to do things you enjoy to make you relax, but that doesn't always work in his favour...

The best choice? Hanging out with the others.

This wannabe introvert actually needs socialising and bonding, and it makes him feel better somehow to just spend a day with his friends and you just talking (and maybe drinking a bit).

He constantly checks up on you to make sure you're also enjoying yourself and aren't doing this only for his sake. If you get tired after a while he'll bid goodbye to the others and stay with you instead.

He just needed a little extrovert time, then he can spend the rest of the day with you.

Lucius

He loves days off.

He has a 24/7 job as a saint, days where he can just relax are the best.

Work? Training? That can wait.

He knows how to put boundaries down, even if it's just a little paperwork for the church; if it can wait, it will wait. You come first.

He's an introvert at heart and his social battery is already at its limits from work and quests already, so he'll prefer being with you alone. He might check up on the others and how they're doing, but aside from that he will forget they exist.

He'll still ask you if you want to spend time with them, it's a day off for both of you after all. You can compromise, like saying hello to the others and then doing your own thing; but he will find a way to drag you away from the rest and keep you to himself.

There's also a "no magic/extra abilities" rule for you two during days off. He doesn't like being reminded of why he has the powers he has when he just wants to relax. Not that he doesn't take pride in being a saint, but he really wants to take his mind off work stuff.

He enjoys childish games; hide and seek, chasing, maybe some play pretend even. He grew up too fast and never really got to enjoy them, so now he finds an odd delight from playing with you. Especially if he gets to touch you.

He likes having you close and being able to hold you. It's a bit sad for him if you don't like that, but he will manage somehow.

...by lots of acts of service.

Like lots of it.

Yeah it's a day where both of you should relax but he does love doing little things for you and it doesn't stress him.

Altair

She loves days off.

The concept of day off is quite flexible with her, but generally it means "No duties nor people to meet nor letters to write to anyone important".

Spending it in bed is an option, cuddling or reading together.

She's really good at avoiding any sort of non-relaxing activity; she never mentions business or business partners when you talk, and keeps away from paperwork and any other sort of thing that has to do with work.

...unintentionally, that is.

Sometimes she will pause the "day off" to deal with her duties, prioritizing that over her rest. Most times it's because someone came for her.

She's a big introvert though, so she keeps business short and goes back to you immediately, usually having you be her pillow while cuddling or reading to eachother.

But the truth is you can do pretty much anything on days like these, as long as you're with her.

Maybe not hiking or physical training, she still wants the resting part.

But otherwise? Anything goes.

You're her safe space, just be by her side.

[nerdnag]

How much do you plot out your stories before you write them?

More than I used to!

Up until maybe 2019 I almost never plotted out stories beforehand. Therefore I have a LOT of started docs saved with little random ideas: some of which never became more than a page, some of which went haywire after a while and never recovered. And there are some entire "books" or fics that were completely improvised as I wrote them. That used to be how I wrote when I wrote for my own enjoyment only.

I tried my hand on an overarching structure for an original work back in 2017/18, but that was probably my real first planning for any story I'd ever written.

And then I think it was @alienducky who really got me into plotting and got me stuck on it for real. We worked on a fic together, and it would have been practically impossible to do that without some kind of joint plan. I remember she started a table at the top of the doc where she listed all the scenes, and I was like yeah, that's a good idea, and it was. After that I started plotting out my own fics in a similar manner too, and now I never want to go back to how I did it before. The stories just turn out so much better when I know where I'm going from the beginning. But I plot in a way that still lets me be creative with the plot along the way.

So this is how I do it nowadays:

Scribble any little initial idea I have - sometimes in a single sentence, sometimes in a paragraph, sometimes in random loose sentences here and there that only make sense to me.

Place the bits I know I want into some kind of organised scene structure - if I don't already know which order things will happen in, I'll get a first sketch on that now. I usually structure this into actual chapter titles (placeholder titles that just give me an idea of what the scene is about) so that step 5 becomes a bit easier later.

Loosely figure out what kind of ending I want - just so I have something to aim for. Usually I have two large threads going and then a number of subthreads; the main threads (like a fantasy conflict or a romantic struggle) have to be clearly solved at the end imo, but some of the subthreads can be more loosely handled. At this point in the process though it's all just a rough sketch.

Slowly fit more pieces I want into the puzzle - any scenes that are necessary to bring me to the end somehow, or even scenes that bring me joy to think about, as long as they don't stray too far from the main threads. I also make sure to always add in early on which pov I think I want for every scene.

When I have a beginning, an end, and a number of scenes that seem to coherently bring me from one to the other, I start fleshing out parts. This usually means that I start writing bits and pieces here and there. Often I wrote the first handful of chapter first before I go on to the rest of the story, so I have a basic idea for myself of what the characters want and how they should be acting. But after the first few chapters, I usually jump from scene to scene depending on what mood I am in and what feels more joyful at any point in time. So I might write half a scene in chapter 7 one day to then write an entire chapter 22 the next day, only to then jot down a few paragraphs into chapter 16 after that. (This is my adhd working, I let it because it's worked out pretty well for me so far.)

Along the way I may come up with new ideas and adjust things, I flesh out scenes that were very barebone in the beginning, I solve and change things that turned out not to work, and when I reach the latter chapters that I wrote early on (for example ch 22, if I wrote that straight after ch 7), I'll usually have changed enough things that I need to rewrite large parts of that chapter. That is fine by me, it's all part of the process.

I should also add that if I've started posting it on for example Ao3 along the way, I sometimes - very rarely, but it happens - adjust my plans depending on what people comment. This is usually only if someone comments something that is so genius or otherwise so perfectly natural for the story that I just cannot let it go by without doing something with it, and only if it fits into the plot somehow. One example of this is when I noticed that several people were suspecting a particular character of having hidden motives. Up until that point I hadn't planned on doing much at all with that character, but when I realized that what I'd already written was leading very naturally to their conclusion, I decided to give that character more space from there on out and even played into the whole hidden agenda idea (but with a twist). That kind of thing can be really fun to do, but I don't do it if I don't think it will work for the plot I already have.

There have also been occasions where conversations with @alienducky have led me to change things in similar ways. One example of this is when I sent her a first overarching plot of my entire then upcoming fic series back in... 2020 I think? And she's great with noticing details, so she asked me how the characters would be able to send letters to each other if they didn't know where the other person was. I told her there was a magically enhanced wolf in there that would be used to bring letters back and forth. She was so into the idea of this wolf, and asked what would happen to it later in the story, that I simply had to make it part of the main cast, and in the end it even played a very important part in a reveal down the line. XD Throwaway details that grow larger like that are also very fun.

Omg I actually found our old convo from back then, I can't not add it in here.

TLDR; I plot out an overarching story with beginning, end and bits and pieces in-between, then adjust as I go.

[screamqueenkrueger]

I meant to post this earlier, but the weekend really sucked the life out of me.

How do I begin something like this? I'm not usually one for writing story times about the things I do. Nothing seems interesting enough for that.

And maybe to a lot of people this isn't either.

But a dream of mine came true this weekend, and this is how it all went down

3 months ago my poor coworker thought he was bringing me exciting news, and he was! I was just not mentally prepared for it.

"Robert Englund is coming to Indy in August!"

"Fuck!" I started to panic, I almost cried, I scrambled to check dates. I was staffing another con at the end of August. Could I make it work? I hadn't saved any money!

Whew HorrorHound was the weekend before the con I staff, I could squirell enough money away for his signatures, now it was time to just stew in the intermitten anxiety for the next 3 months. Would I actually get to meet him this time? Would I make it? Or would I be too little too late again? Would he do another con after this one? Is this my last chance? I don't know the lay out, where he'll be. The VIP passes had already sold out. I got early entry, but would that be enough?

Sooner than I thought possible the time was upon me. I'd had art I'd draw printed out, ready for him to sign, and I had my fursuit head I wanted him to sign as well.

Only one problem. I had to go alone. The Husband had army obligations. The aforementioned coworker could only come with me on Saturday. I had to face this task on my own. Normally I'm a little ball of anxiety, but Robert was all I wanted. I could do it for him.

So Friday I get up, already buzzing with anxiety. Early entry doesn't open until 4 so I have some time to prepare, and as I have a fee errands that could be ran, and busy myself with that, instead of sitting around and staring at the clock. I take, maybe, a little too long. By the time I get to the convention center it's around 3:45 and the place is already packed.

Uh oh.

Well this is okay. As long as I hustle I can make it to Robert's line. It's going to be a long wait, but that's okay. That's what I'm here for.

Nothing else matters to me but getting in front of Robert Englund.

At exactly 4 the line starts moving in. They have a pretty organized and we go in one section of line at a time. As soon as I'm in the vendor hall I hustle my ass as fast as I can power walk to the back. I didn't run. I probably should have, but lord help me if I had fallen.

But there he is! His line isn't cut off! Maybe this is it! My heart is pounding. I love to stand to what I perceive as the back of the line then...oh no...staff are approaching me.

"Are you hear for Robert Englund?"

"Yes" I say, holding my fursuit head tighter to my chest. Please don't tell me I have to leave. I'll wait as long as I can. Is all I can think in that moment.

Thankfully he just gently ushered me and a few others out into the hallway. They were moving the line out there so that the vendor hall wasn't too crowded. I was relieved they would allow me to still wait, and I was near the front of this line! And so commenced the waiting.

I made small talk with a few of my line mates. It was going to be an eternity, so I figured it may be a good idea to make friends. And I do! The group in front of me really liked my fursuit head. I showed them a picture of what the rest of him looked like, and explained how he was inspired my Freddy Krueger, and that I wanted Robert to sign one of his horns. One of the women had actual stills from Freddy Vs Jason in a frame that she was going to have Robert sign. That blew me out of the water. How rad was that!

As a group, we settled in for the long wait. Every inch we moved felt like a mile, and once we were in the line at Robert's booth, it felt like we had cleared a giant hurtle, but the wait was just beginning. We passed the time talking about what we really enjoyed about horror movies, what scared us the most, and what obscure movies we had seen and really liked. It was hard watching those who had gotten VIP tickets wait a fraction of what we had until then, with a mile of a line still in front of us.

At some point, Robert had to leave for photo ops. Some people left, but a majority of us stayed. This group of people were some of the nicest I'd ever met, people were walking in and out of the line, able to come back because their line mates agreed to hold their spot in line for them. While he was gone we were told to get comfortable, so we did.

I think this is one of my favorite memories from this weekend. 3 of us settled down, aitting on the floor, I'd said if my phone weren't half dead I'd play a Nightmare on Elm St. for us. The woman beside me said, "Mine's at 90%!" So she turned on the movie and since I was in the middle I held the phone so that we could watch. At one point another woman peeked through the curtain.

"Which one are you watching? I heard the music!"

We told her the first one and we all laughed that she recognized the movie from the sound ahead of us in line, and that we were watching a movie while waiting to meet Mr. Krueger himself.

An hour later Robert was back, so we got back on our feet. Time was creeping closer and closer to the close of the convention. I was so close by now, about halfway, but I was beginning to get anxious all over again. What if it moved too slow? He had to stop signing at somepoint. There were still VIP people waiting to be seen, taking time away from us, the peasants.

I couldn't be too mad at them, though. I'd have been one of them if the tickets hadn't sold out. We were still moving, so I tried to focus on how close we were getting. The guy in front of us at one point turned around and said, "I think it's going to happen guys."

We were one line length away at this point and my heart was really pounding now. He was there. I could see him. Hear him speak. The friend I'd made in line was so sweet, rubbing my back, telling me I'd be alright. I didn't quite feel like it, but I knew she was right.

Then we were at his table. I paid for my autographs, watching the guy in front of me get his things signed, and knew this was it! He was right in front of me. My friend asked me if I wanted to give her my phone so she could take pictures. All I could say was "no I'm good! I just wanna be in the moment!" Truthfully I was shaking and so scared I'd fumble my phone and drop it. She took pictures on her own phone and sent them to me on Facebook. She was so sweet and I am so thankful for her.

IT HAPPENED.

5 and a half hours later I was standing in front of Robert Englund. I had the art I'd agonized over for months out and when I slid it in from of him I almost couldn't believe this was happening.

"I drew it myself." I told him, so giddy I sounded like a child. I was handing the love of my life my own art for him to sign, and I'd gotten a second printed out to give him.

"This is amazing work." He said, silver sharpie gliding his name across my work. I was on the moon. "This one is for me?" He clarified, sliding the second copy out.

"Yes," I told him. My smile was so wide it hurt. I set my fursuit head on the table after he'd carefully set aside his copy.

"Now this is a first." Did I make Robert Englund say that? I sure did! Light of my life! Man of my dreams!

He signed my fursuit head and handed it back. I said thank you, then wobbled off. My dream had coke true! I am just so thankful I got to meet this horror legend. This man helped shape the horror we enjoy today, and I am simply blessed to have been able to share this moment in time with him. I only wish I had been more maybe a decade or two earlier.

[fuwaprince]

I'm in a terribly dark place after coming home. Sad and tired. Angry. I'm sorry for speaking about my life again. I wish I could post without bothering anybody

I went out last night with the same old dude for a cig run. I thanked him for making time for me and gave him some of the frosted brownies that my stomach couldn't handle eating. I wanted to make it as worth it for him as possible since I know people's help is usually conditional. The brownie offering wasn't enough for him. He wanted more.

I had already been crying all day and night and just wanted to leave the house for a break. Just wanted something to change since I was basically rotting away in bed. I didn't want to be alone anymore. Anybody's company would do. I reach out online often for strangers that want to meet for a once time distraction.

When I make it to the gas station, I get two sodas. One for me and one for him. The girl cleaning the drink machines who is also the girl working the register was so sleepy and exhausted that I had to help her check out my items. She looked at me like she was struggling and she could clearly see the struggle that I was going through by looking at my face. I told her, "enjoy the rest of your shift" and she told me that she really appreciates that and to have a safe night. Seeing her was the best part of my whole damn day honestly. She kept apologizing for being tired and I just kept saying "no, thank you for everything you do", "thank you for working", "thank you for being here". It meant something to hear her wish me safety.

I go back to the guy's car and we drive to some empty lot so that I can smoke a cig. He kept relentlessly trying to force me to touch him, as per usual, by guiding me with his hands and pulling me into him while I'm standing. It was so annoying and forceful. I kept saying no angrily, stepping away and dancing around him with my lit cig to avoid being touched... After a long fucking time and many failed attempts at trying to force me, it was enough to get him to stop. Glad that I didn't play the role he had in mind but I don't enjoy the consequences either.

I thought about my ex who is the only other person irl who sometimes gives me rides. One time he dropped me off and told me things like "I COULD be like them" "I COULD take advantage of you" as if he's doing me a favor by not. Thanks ex of mine, that's so sweet of you to not violate me!

Guy who just got rejected again cried a bunch next to me and mumbled shit under his breath for the rest of the night. Said maybe he should leave then which reminds me of the time he suggested that he should care less because I didn't let him touch me during a car ride that I asked for in the middle of the night.

He gives backhanded ass comments all night long about how maybe I'll finally do something for myself and work harder to live the life most privileged people such as himself just get born into. He tried randomly bringing up how he saw screenshots of texts I sent to my mom that weren't very kind. I'm not sure why. He just wanted to spite me for not complying.

PS I would say that shit to her face in front of anybody and everybody. I would post it on my blog. I don't give a fuck. I don't take any of it back. She failed as a mother of two. She abused a dog to death. She failed to protect me, denied me a relationship with my birth dad and his whole family, lied that her most recent husband was my father and let him abuse me all my fucking life. She didn't even tell me my race out of shame and groomed me to hate "Spanish" people (she's too afraid to say Mexican, idk why). I would've never found out if I wasn't so damn persistent to find out why her stories don't add up. She sabotaged the benefits I was depending on in hopes I starved to death. Literally. Fuck her. When I called her crying that my ex had broken my bones and left me with a bloody face, she told me I was a liar and made sure to tell everyone else I was a liar too (despite my ex OPENLY ADMITTING TO BEING VIOLENT TOWARDS ME. I had to beg him to tell them it was true. She and her friend's whole family still call me a liar). She denied me being raped as a child. She acted like me calling CPS would ruin the family the day I threatened to without really knowing what CPS was. Her husband was going to choke me if I didn't. My mom has done FUCKED UP SHIT. FORCED ME TO LIE AND PRETENDED HER DENTURES BROKE TO GET MONEY FROM HER FAMILY MEMBERS SO SHE COULD FUEL A GAMBLING ADDICTION INSTEAD OF USING IT TO PAY FOR US TO HAVE MORE THAN JUST EGGS AND RICERONI DURING THE 2008 RECESSION. She forged my signature to move me schools when I gained the courage to tell a counselor at my highschool about the abuse when I was a freshman. She told me I was a liar and that I never got raped after the doctor whispered to her during an appointment that my fucking child hymen was broken and asked if she knew why. She told me to lie for her and to protect her husband so that he would still pay for the house he would eventually kick me out of. She said they'd take my brother and I and split us apart into different foster homes if I did and I would never see him again. She threw belts at me on my birthday. She took a whole rack of belts that her husband had in the closet and angrily threw them on top of my crying body on my 18th birthday. She said "you want to hang yourself? Here! Hope this helps!". She left me waiting after school until 9pm regularly. Telling me not to come home even though it was only across the bridge and down a few easily walkable streets. She told me I would get raped if I did. She'd ignore my calls from the payphone because I didn't have a phone growing up. She told me it was because I didn't deserve one and I would use it to talk crap about her. She said that's the same reason she didn't give me braces "why would I fix your ugly teeth? You use them to talk shit about me". She threw knives at me and my little bro when I was 7. She would tear down the whole house, pack it into a box and LEAVE without telling anybody where for so long. My brother and I would cry. And if we went to our grandma's house or knocked on the neighbor's door, we would get punished for "bringing our problems to other people". My mom has done horribly fucked up shit. She would attack me and rip apart all my belongings. All the art I was proudly posting on my empty walls. She'd destroy whatever I put up in her routine attacks. Then she would leave me crying to clean her mess after unplugging the home phones and leaving. I was too young to figure out why they wouldn't work and I remember being so desperate to call my elementary school friends for help. When I told them what happened, she would tell them that I was a liar seeking attention and not to listen to me. When I told people I was suicidal, she told them I was spoiled and fine because I had both my parents (I didn't). I didn't have lights in my bedroom until I was in my senior year of highschool. When I lost my baby, she said God punished me because I'm bad.

He asked if I would share a place with him again and I told him it's polite to offer but no because I don't want to commit suicide from being mistreated in another shitty home situation where if I don't abide by people's every command, they kick me out on my ass... Which is exactly what would happen. I'm not trying to be owned, trapped as a sex slave and threatened to be thrown back onto the streets if I don't play the role he casts onto me. I don't consent to it. Not gonna happen. People who don't understand the situation will tell me that I'm choosing to be miserable by not accepting his offer. People like his mother will say I'm a "bad woman" for not just marrying her entitled brat. That's who she is. She lies to people saying I threaten her and that I'm crazy nowadays. She tried showing off some screenshots of texts that I sent her. I hope anybody who judges me based on a few angry texts know that they're part of the problem.

I'm back home now. I don't want to exist. I don't want to be. I really wish somebody would smoke me out so that I can pass out in bed and hopefully not wake up crying tomorrow morning. I'm coping how I can. I can't keep doing this. I don't want to be here. I'm so desperate to escape my situation but all my opportunities to leave are actually just worse options. I wish I had SOMEBODY here who actually wanted good for me. I feel like I don't have anyone.

Thank you again for following my shitty life story. I'm sorry for being so sad. Things aren't fine. I just want life to be okay

[theaspen]

summary : Jay seems to keep appearing in your alternate nightmares. He acts as your night in shining armor, always helping you in your sleep. But when you try to stop the nightmares altogether he doesn't like it.

genre : thriller, angst.

pairing : Jay x you

PART 1.

PART TWO

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NOTE: GUESS WHO'S ALIVE LMFAO, IDK HOW MANY FOLLOWERS I LOST BUT YAH MY BAD I SHOULD HAVE ATLEAST PUT UP A NOTICE BUT I MYSELF DID NOT KNOW THAT ILL BE SO BUSY. not that anyone cares but I've noticed that i can NEVER consistently write sumth huge, i need to cut it into parts and update or I'll forget about it all together, hence why this oneshot will now be divided into a few parts. THANKS TO ANYONE READING THIS. also I'll be checking the responses i get after i post this and then think about writing the next part!!

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The first time I saw him, it had been way too long already. It was maybe the nineteenth or twentieth night? It wasn't like it really mattered anyway, when you have near death experiences every single night you just tend to lose count.

My hands were incredibly sweaty and it took everything I had in me to keep clutching to the edge of the hole to prevent falling into…..

I pause, taking a second to look down and see what I'm trying so hard to not fall into and regret immediately when I see nothing but darkness surrounding me, just a black hole of nothing to see miles ahead. Closing my eyes I feel the cold trickle of sweat rolling onto my neck, causing a tickling sensation. My calloused palms finally seemed to fix onto a rough rock giving me more support. And like clockwork as always my heart lifted, hope blossoming onto my chest.

And again, like clockwork, the rock shifted as soon as I put more of my weight onto it. The rocks slips off my fingers and my stomach drops to the floor along with the rest of my body I think in that millisecond. My throat is already preparing itself for a good heart wrenching scream enough to scare anyone with its unadulterated intensity and raw fear.

But the scream never comes. It dies silently in my throat when I don't feel the wind against me as I rush downwards. Instead what I feel is another pair of hands clutching mine, they feel warm against my cold ones and clean and so so soft. When I risk opening one of my eyes, I find a face looking back at me.

And then I wake up.

There's a gentle hand on my chest that tenderly coaxes me to sit up with my back straight. My eyes are sticky when I open them.

The nurse quietly hands me over a cup of water which I take gratefully and have small sips from.

"Is it the same one again?" Kyungsoo asks me.

Kyungsoo has been the nurse assigned to me ever since the accident and hence already aware of my daily night dose of torture.

I heave a great sigh, not bothering to change my nightgown which was slightly damp with cold sweat.

"Ya…" I answer back, "Not to the very end…I think I saw a random hand catching mine before I fell."

Kyungsoo brightness up at this, "Really? I had a feeling , you didn't scream this time."

"What? I didn't??"

Kyungsoo chuckles, happy that I'm showing progress even if it's just that I didn't let out another bone chilling scream from my sleep.

Without warning Kyungsoo flashes a flashlight in my eyes and I grimace. Over the past few weeks, since the car accident ,the only person I've even slightly warmed up to is Kyungsoo.

I'm happier with him, looking forward to the gossip and the company he brings every day, the small voice at the back of my head reminds me that he's probably just pitying me and doing his job but i ignore it, too occupied with the only person in this god forsaken place that treats me like I should be treated.

And no, I don't mean the pitying glances, even if that's incredibly annoying it's a clear given. I mean, I'm in a hospital for god's sake. But I know that everyone who has stepped in to treat me has an ulterior motive to fish more money out of my uncle's loaded pocket.

I know this for a fact, given just a month ago when I overheard my parents talking about the illegal bone marrow transplant that had taken place with the help of this very hospital. This news was just twice as bad when I think about the fact that the bone marrow transplant was for me and it was taken by my step brother who was only adopted to serve that purpose…and who was now dead along with my parents.

"Your uncle wants you to see a therapist soon." Kyungsoo interrupts my inner dilemma.

My face tenses immediately,

"I don't think I want to so soon…." I whisper.

Kyungsoo gives me a sympathetic nod.

"I know, and I told him so as well. Think about it okay? He wants to see you as well."

I nod, and he leaves me alone to go attend to other duties.

Sleep doesn't come easy as always. The air conditioning is too cold, I can't shift to a position of my liking because of my injuries and my mouth is dry but I would rather suffer a bit more than call in someone just to get me a glass of water. Eventually my eyes get heavy and I drift into the dark once again.

This time I'm in a car. The minute I'm able to think and process where I am, panic immediately settles in, my hands reach press against the glass but I see nothing but flames surrounding me , the smoke slowly begins to slip through the cracks and although I'm not in any real danger my breath is already thinning, my lungs seem to collapse on themselves and my brain shuts itself down. Every night I tell myself to remember to just sit still and wait for the danger to pass till I wake up. To just shut your eyes tight and curl up into a ball, to tell yourself the sensations and emotions I feel are imaginary and not real. Yet as always I can feel myself panicking and crying in despair. Perhaps a part of me is afraid that once I stop trying I won't wake up again.

The smoke turns thicker, and I have got to give my brain some credit, because the smoke seems to be winding itself in beautiful swirling patterns in the car and then it slowly turns into a deep shade of red. At this point I'm already hysteric. I don't know why but I've never tried to open the windows or the door. I just keep banging the door hoping it would fall out. As if it couldn't get worse, I can feel the smoke curl itself around my neck.

My hands are trembling widely and I'm pretty sure I threw up although it's not possible, my eyes sting with fresh tears and the smoke leaves my throat scratchy. The smoke that had slowly formed a ring around my neck seems to get tighter. It rubs against my skin uncomfortably and with every breath I try to make the ropes bind themselves tighter.

Any moment now. I tell myself, but when minutes pass and I'm laying on the seats trying to gasp for breath like a fish out of water , my eyes never open. I don't find myself in the hospital gown with someone beside me and I think that finally, maybe this time I'll be going for good. Just as the thought settles in, maybe now I'll be at peace with no more nightly terrors to look forward to. I hear the click of a door and someone's skin brushing against my body.

My eyes are open but I don't dare to look around instead choosing to focus on my breath. Two hands go under my back and lift me up. There's a deep groan right beside my ear. I can feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness but as soon as I'm out of the immense heat surrounding me the cloud of smoke disappear, my vision clears and I blink rapidly. I sit up immediately and cough, spotting my saviour sitting beside me. Also looking exhausted. His black shirt is torn in various places. He seems to be catching his breath and ruffling his brown hair.

"Are you okay?" I ask after a moment of hesitation, I'm not sure what I should ask someone who just saved me.

Said person turns around, his gray eyes bord into mine, a bit intimidating. After a small stretch of silence he replies, not to me, but speaking more to himself,

"It's okay, you'll wake up soon."

I get even quieter at that if possible.

He gets up to leave but I stop him, grabbing his wrist which is surprisingly warm and so human it freaks me out a bit.

"Wait, what's your name?"

He looks shocked and confused too as if no one had asked him that question before. He thinks for a second before answering , "Jay.."

And then I wake up. This time when I wake up I curse out loud. Kyungsoo who was sleeping and drooling on his own arm, jolts awake, "Jesus fuck! What the hell happened? are you good?"

I groan heavily, throwing my pillow in frustration. "Dammit! I didn't even thank him!"

"Thank who?"

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TAGLIST IS OPEN

@sunjaylove @ryejigyu

Part 2 will be coming soon

[typical-simplelove]

To Capture a Moment (M. Barzal)

Author's Note: This was a prompt from the ever amazing @thatflyersfan, so thank you for this! The prompt was "taking polaroid photos", and I'm a sucker for childhood friends to lovers, so this is the product! I hope you enjoy it, and please let me know what you thought either in an ask or in the tags. Enjoy!

Author's Note 2: If you reblog this, I'll send you an ask thank you and mention you in an appreciation post (if I do this!)

Warnings: Mentions of sex, one or two slightly NSFW scenes (but VERY mild), a mention of a breeding kink (literally mentioned in one sentence), marriage, pregnancy, Santa, but the rest is just fluff!

Word Count: 9.3k

Enjoy reading!

If anyone were to walk down the hall of your and Mathew’s hallway of your new home, they would see it lined with polaroid pictures. These polaroid pictures show the relationship between you and Mathew from the young age of five to now sharing your new home, married, and with two children. A hallway that was the epitome of a picture is worth a thousand words.

Age 5

“Mathew, please, just stand next to your sister, please,” Mathew’s mother requests. Her tone was close to begging. Your parents had to deal with a family emergency, so they sent you to the Barzal’s to be babysat. Mathew’s mother decided to take Liana, Mathew, and you to Lafarge Park.

Currently, you are sitting on a bench giggling as you watch Mathew sigh as he gets up from where he was sitting next to you. He groaned as he got up and stood next to his sister. He wraps his arm around her but doesn’t smile. At the touch, Liana screams and begins to cry. It was close to her nap time, and the smallest things were making her fussy. Mathew’s mother sighs and goes to pick up her daughter to try to comfort her. Mathew grins widely and sits back down next to you.

“I don’t like taking photos,” Mathew says bluntly. You look at him but are squinting as the sun is in your eyes.

“You like taking photos in your hockey gear,” you point out.

“Yeah, but I don’t like taking photos,” Mathew emphasizes the word photos as if that were enough explanation. It wasn’t. “You know what I mean?”

“No.”

Mathew gives you a curious look, and you want to point out his hair is getting long, but his mother calls Mathew back over to take the photo.

“But I don’t want to,” Mathew whines.

“Mathew,” she says in a mother’s knowing tone, and Mathew gets up exasperatedly. He stands next to his sister. He opts not to put his arm around her this time and looks at you before the picture is taken. You smile widely at him and wave. Mathew wears a giant grin on his face in response. His mother notices Mathew’s wide smile; she smiles when she realizes you are the reason for Mathew’s smile. She takes the photo quickly knowing that Mathew’s smile is short-lived.

“Yn, come take a photo with Mathew,” she calls to you. You skip over to Mathew. Surprisingly, Mathew doesn’t complain about taking another photo. Then again, though, Mathew never complained about anything when it came to you.

“Mom, can we do the fancy camera? The one that prints out right away?” Mathew asks.

“Sure, sweetheart,” Mathew’s mother says and pulls the polaroid camera out of her purse. Mathew insisted she bring it today, and she guesses this was why. “Smile,” she directs and snaps the photo. Once the photo is printed, she places it in her wallet.

“I’m going to hang it on my wall,” Mathew tells you after the photo is taken and that he did. After he got home later that day from dropping you off at home, Mathew begged his mother for the photo. He tapped it on his wall next to his hockey posters because to him, you were just as important. As Mathew moved around for hockey, that photo always followed him around with a few others. It sat in his wallet, and when he felt homesick, he’d look at it with a wide smile. Now, it sits amongst the many polaroid pictures on your wall.

Age 6

Whenever you and Mathew were together, Mathew’s mother always brought the polaroid camera with her. Mathew always loved taking those kinds of photos with you. In the past year, you and Mathew have taken countless polaroid pictures that lined both your walls and his.

Today, you were sitting in a local hockey arena watching Mathew play. Well, you were watching the empty ice getting ready for warmups. You were wearing one of Mathew’s sweatshirts as you shivered in the cold of the arena. You were clutching the mug of hot chocolate Mathew’s mother gave you in hopes of warming up. When Mathew got on the ice for warmups, you smiled widely. Even at such a young age, seeing Mathew would bring a smile to your face and make you all warm and fuzzy.

You walked towards the glass to get a better look at your best friend. When he skated by you, you tapped softly on the glass to alert him you were there. When Mathew turns to see you, he gives you a giant smile from beneath his helmet. He takes a few moments to stop and looks at you for a moment. Mathew’s mother takes the polaroid camera out of her bag and quickly snaps a photo of the two of you in this exact position.

That photo remains on the Barzal mantle till this day.

Age 7

The annual Christmas Fair was back in Vancouver again, and Mathew was super excited to see Santa this year. He figured that his dream of playing in the NHL would come true as long as he asked Santa for it for every year of his life until it happened.

You were both standing in line waiting to go inside the Fair. Despite being bundled up in your warmest sweater, jacket, gloves, and hat, you were still cold. One would think that after spending copious amounts of time in a hockey arena watching Mathew play, you would be used to the cold, but you weren’t.

“Are you cold, Yn?” Mathew asks concerned. He can see you shivering but trying to hide it.

“Just a little,” you lie.

“Oh, here,” Mathew says and walks over to you. He wraps his arms around you in a giant hug to keep you warm. You feel your cheeks warm at the touch, but you, at the age of seven, think it’s just you already warming up. You rest your head on Mathew and wrap your arms around him. “No, keep them in your pockets, so you can keep warm.”

“What about your hands?” you worry.

“Don’t worry, I play hockey; I’m used to the cold,” he reassures you and flashes you his signature grin. Mathew’s mother wasn’t able to capture a polaroid photo of this event, but your mother was able to pull out her phone to capture the moment. Even at the age of 7, Mathew would do absolutely anything for you.

Eventually, yours and Mathew’s families end up inside the fair and in line to see Santa. Now, a hot chocolate in your belly and a warm meal, you were slowly warming up and didn’t need Mathew to hold you anymore. He was bouncing with excitement as you both got closer and closer to the front of the line.

When it was Mathew’s turn to see Santa, he walked up, and you waited in line for your turn. A sudden gust of wind made a giant shiver rack through your body, and Mathew noticed from where he was sitting on Santa’s lap.

“Is everything alright, son?” he asks.

Mathew looks up at him with worry. “My best friend is cold, and I don’t like it when Yn’s cold. I’d rather be cold instead of Yn.”

“Well, maybe we should finish here quickly, so you can go and make Yn warm. What do you say?”

Mathew nods enthusiastically. “Yeah, I like that.”

“So, what do you want, son?”

Mathew looks into Santa’s blue eyes and is about to ask for an NHL career. He then looks at you and sees you shivering. Mathew’s heart stops and realizes that it doesn’t matter if he got the NHL career if you were cold. You couldn’t be cold because if you were cold then you’d get sick. If you were sick, then who would be Mathew’s best friend? “I want Yn not to be sick.”

“Oh, is that so?”

“Yeah,” Mathew nods. “I can’t have my best friend sick because then who would be my best friend.”

“Well, then, I’ll be sure to grant your wish, son,” Santa says. In all his years of doing this, he’s never heard this one before. “Keep Yn close, okay? Yn seems like a special one.”

Mathew always kept those words close to his heart whether or not he remembered who told them to him.

Age 10

For the past ten years, you and Mathew have taken a photo on yours and his birthdays. It was always you on the right and him on the left. Whoever’s birthday it was would be holding the gift the other got them. It was tradition.

It was your tenth birthday, and the day was coming to a close. All your friends had left, and it was just your family and Mathew’s family who were still there. You were on your third piece of cake, and Mathew was trying to convince you to give him a bite, too. He looked nervous.

“Are you okay, Mathew?” you ask after finishing your final piece and giving Mathew a piece.

“I have a gift for you,” he mumbles.

“Oh!” you thought you opened all your gifts.

“Can I give it to you?”

“Yeah, sure,” you answer. Mathew gets up to grab the gift, and you throw out the plate in the trash.

“This is for you,” he says and passes the bag to you. You gently take the wrapping paper out of the bag; you set it to the side and pull out the box. You gasp when you see it. You smile and jump up to give Mathew a hug. You wrap your arms around him.

“Thank you for the polaroid camera, Mathew,” you whisper as he wraps his arms around you.

“Of course, Yn. It’s time you had your own, so we could take all the photos we want.”

“Come on, let’s go and get my mom to take a photo of us.”

You and Mathew go and find his mother. When you find her, you take the camera out of the box and hand it to her. You and Mathew position yourself against the wall, and he wraps an arm around you. You hold the box in your hand and smile. Mathew, though, isn’t looking at the camera; he’s looking at you with the widest grin on his face. All that mattered in his life was making you smile. If he made you smile, then Mathew always wore the happiest grin on his face.

Age 13 - Stargazing

Your parents had to go out of town to take care of your grandparents, so you were staying with the Barzals for the weekend. You were both currently laying on in his backyard on a blanket staring at the stars. It was your favorite pastime — laying together looking up at the stars.

You were both lying next to each other, shoulder to shoulder. You turned your head and looked at Mathew, but you looked to find him already looking at you. “It’s pretty,” he says.

“It is,” you agree and turn back to the sky. Mathew, though, remained looking at you.

“Do you have your polaroid camera?”

“Yeah, right next to me. Why?”

“Let’s take a photo,” Mathew answers. He sits up and leans over around you to grab the camera. In the process, Mathew’s arm brushes your stomach briefly, and his face grows warm at the touch. Somewhere, between the ages of 12 and 13, Mathew has developed a crush on you. He didn’t tell anyone because why would he? At this age, Mathew would get teased for having a crush on you, so he didn’t tell anyone. Besides, he wasn’t even sure if you liked him, too.

Mathew lies back down next to you and rests his head close to yours. He lifts his arm up and positions it so that the both of you are in frame. You both smile, and Mathew presses down the button.

The photo comes out, and Mathew’s heart warms at the picture reflected.

“Can I have my camera? I want a picture of the stars, too,” you ask. He hands you the camera, and his hand brushes yours briefly. You thought nothing of it, but Mathew’s heart was racing. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Mathew whispers, and you give him a curious look. “What?”

“Nothing, you’re just acting weird.”

“I’m not acting weird; you’re acting weird.”

You laugh. “Whatever. Doesn’t matter.”

Mathew watched you take a photo of the stars in the sky, and he came to one realization: he never wanted to live in a world where you weren’t there.

Age 16

It was Mathew’s 16th birthday, and you were sitting on a garden chair watching him have the time of his life with his friends. As you both started high school, you both found yourself in different friend groups. That wasn’t to say, however, that your friendship wavered. It just meant that you both weren’t next to each other all the time. You were okay with that new realization. You were okay with it because that meant that you could work through your new found feelings for Mathew. You didn’t know when it happened. One day, you were eating lunch with Mathew, your friend, with normal hair and normal eyes and a normal laugh. You were eating lunch with Mathew, your friend, who was normal looking. The next day, though, you were eating lunch with Mathew who had the most beautiful smile, the most beautiful eyes, the softest hair, and was the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. He was no longer the boy you grew up with. He was Mathew, and you finally understood what all the girls were talking about. It was difficult for you to breathe around him because you wanted him to hold your hand and love you. It went from Mathew being your best friend to you loving Mathew as more than a friend, and it scared you.

You were sitting there smiling when Mathew caught your gaze. He looked you in the eyes and waved. You waved back and warmth filled you. He excused himself from his friends and walked over to where you were sitting.

“You brought the polaroid camera,” he says as he brings a chair next to yours and sits.

“Well, we’ve taken the same photo for the past sixteen years. We might as well continue tradition, right?” you tease.

“Yeah, tradition,” he whispers giving you a look that makes you melt. He leans his head close to yours with a soft smile. “Can I tell you something?”

You nod trying to suppress a shiver.

“Somewhere in the past —”

“Yn, can I borrow your polaroid camera, please?” Liana interrupts as if knowing what Mathew was going to say. You tell her yes, and you see Mathew, out of the corner of your eye, blush and shake his head while also glaring at his sister.

“Um, you were saying?” you ask hoping to rebuild the bubble you both just had.

Mathew looks at you trying to figure out if he wants to continue. “Um, somewhere in the past five or six years or so, I screwed up.”

“Screwed up, how?”

“I fell for you,” Mathew whispers, a blush overcoming his face.

“But, you’re sitting right now,” you say oblivious.

Mathew laughs his laugh, and you melt into a puddle. “I fell in love with you, Yn.”

“Oh. Oh!”

Mathew laughs again with a bashful smile settling on his features. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you.”

“Are you still sorry if I were to tell you I fell in love with you, too?”

“I wouldn’t be sorry, then,” Mathew says and leans his head close to yours. He takes one hand and cups your cheek. He rubs soft patterns on your cheek as he begins to tilt his head. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please,” you beg. Mathew places his lips on yours softly as your hands go to his neck and begin to softly playing the hair at its base. It was a kiss full of fireworks. All the noises around you mellowed out. All the emotions you feel for your best friend come out in one kiss as it deepens. You both pull away when a flash from a camera startles you both.

“Sorry, I just had to,” Liana apologizes, handing you back your camera with the photo printing.

“You didn’t have to,” Mathew grumbles angrily.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry,” you tell her, taking back the camera. You look at the photo and smile. Mathew was gently holding your face as he kissed you softly. You both had wide smiles on your faces as you kissed each other. “See, we have a photo of our first kiss.”

Mathew kisses your forehead softly. “Here’s to many more.”

Age 18

“Yn, come outside, please?” Mathew begs with a pout on his face. “I want to take a photo with you.”

“But we’ve been taking photos all day,” you groan. It was reaching 9pm at night, and the joint graduation party for you and Mathew was over. You were both lounging on your bed reminiscing about the future. Mathew was going to have this amazing NHL career, and you were going to college.

“I just want this one,” Mathew says as he gets off the bed. He looks at the many polaroid photos sitting on your wall of both your family, friends, and him. He was in most of them. He picks up your polaroid camera and grins at you. “Please? My parents bought sparklers, and we haven’t used them yet.”

You get up because Mathew could get you to do anything as long as he gave you that grin. “Okay.”

Mathew takes your hand and leads you both downstairs. “Liana, can you take a photo of us?”

“More photos?” she asks. Liana was just as fed up with taking pictures, too. “Yn, how do you put up with him?”

You shrug with a smile. “It’s easy when I love him.”

“I love him, too, but I can’t put up with him,” Liana mumbles following you both out the door. Mathew inquires about the sparklers and is directed to his mother’s car. You and Liana stand out in your backyard. “What kind of photo does he want?”

“I’m not sure, but I know he wants a polaroid photo.”

“He’s obsessed with those,” Liana comments as Mathew walks up to you two. He hands the polaroid camera to Liana and ushers you over to where he wants to stand. He takes two sparklers out of the box and hands one to you.

“I want to kiss you as we hold the sparklers,” Mathew mumbles against your skin. His words sent shivers down your spine.

“Okay,” you whisper as Mathew lights yours and his sparklers. He looks at you with a wide smile and wraps the arm that’s not holding the sparkler around your waist. You wrap your arm that’s not holding the sparkler across his shoulder and lean in for a kiss. “Liana, take the photo when we kiss, please.”

Liana makes a comment about how disgusting the two of you are before saying an “okay.”

Mathew leans in with a smile and kisses you. You kiss him back with a smile just as wide closing the space between you two. You see the flash out of the corner of your eye and pull away slowly to set the sparkler out. When they’re out, Mathew pulls you in for another kiss full of love and passion. He never gets enough of kissing you; if it were up to him, he’d kiss you for every moment of every day.

“The photo’s ready,” Liana interrupts, not wanting to watch her brother kiss anyone even if it were you. You both separate breathlessly and observe the photo. He wraps his arms around you and settles your back against his front. He rests his head against yours and holds you tightly against his chest.

“We look cute, babe,” Mathew whispers into your ear. You look into his eyes and break out into a smile.

“We do look cute,” you agree. You were about to say something else, but the flash of the polaroid camera interrupts your words.

“Sorry,” Liana apologies. “You guys just looked really cute.”

Mathew kisses your cheek, and his heart bursts with love. He loved you so much that there were no words. From where they were sitting on the back porch, your parents and Mathew’s parents were looking on with love. You and Mathew were perfect for each other, and they knew that your relationship would stand the test of time.

Age 21

You were in New York for the first time during the hockey season. In past times you’ve been in New York, it was either before the season or after the season. This was the first time that your school schedule lined up perfectly with a chance to go see Mathew play on Long Island. You met the WAGs for the first time tonight, and you instantly loved them and them the same. You were currently standing next to Sydney, who took you under her wing, at the glass as warmups just began. You had your new polaroid camera and ready to snap one of Mathew.

“Do you and Mathew have a strong connection to a polaroid camera?” Sydney asks.

You nod with a smile. “Yeah. For as long as I can remember, we’ve always taken photos with a polaroid camera. We have millions of photos together.”

“Yeah, I’ve seen them. Mathew displays them proudly across his apartment. He loves them, but he loves you more,” Sydney teases.

You don’t reply except for smiling bashfully and shaking your head playfully. You were about to say something when Mathew interrupted you by bumping into the boards in front of you. He looks at you, and his heart grows a million sizes seeing you wearing his jersey. You smile when you see him and wave. He begins to show off in front of you with his stick handling. You shake your head playfully at his actions, but you use the opportunity to snap a photo of Mathew. It’s of him concentrating on the puck. You tuck it into your purse to observe later on.

“Did you want me to take one of the two of you?” Grace asks, who was on the other side of you and has also taken you under her wing.

“Would you? That’d be great.”

“Of course,” she says and takes the camera from you.

“Can Grace take a photo of us?” you ask Mathew. You were suddenly nervous that he was going to be embarrassed of your tradition.

“That would be amazing,” he tells you genuinely. He leans against the glass on his side, and you do the same on your side, smiling at Grace. Once the photo is taken, you, once again, put it in your purse to look at later. Mathew waves before rejoining the rest of his team.

“You guys are cute,” Sydney comments with a smile.

“Oh, to be young and in love,” Grace comments and both girls laugh. You put the camera in your purse, and you smile as the heat rushes to your face. Indeed, to be young and in love.

Later that night, you and Mathew were sitting on his couch when you pulled out the polaroids from the day. Mathew looks at the polaroid that you took of him without him knowing and blushes. You notice it and kiss his cheek.

“You look good, babe,” you tease.

“Yeah, but this one is better,” he says pointing to the photo Grace took of you. His hold on you tightens as he rests his head on the crook between your shoulder and neck. “Wanna know why?”

“Why?” you giggle as Mathew’s breath tickles you.

“Because you’re in it,” Mathew flirts.

“Shut up,” you say bashfully as the warmth reaches your face.

“It’s true,” he whispers. “I’m not ready for you to go back to school. I want you here forever.”

“Don’t worry,” you reassure. “After I graduate, I’m going to get a job here in New York, and we’ll be here forever together. Don’t worry; you can’t get rid of me that easy.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Mathew says and places a kiss on your cheek.

Age 22

Mathew is sitting next to your father with a bouquet of flowers and your polaroid camera on his lap. Mathew’s leg is bouncing as he anxiously waits for your name to be called. It was finally your graduation day. You’ve been working hard for the past four years, and it was finally paying off. Mathew was so proud of you, and he was so happy that he got to be here at his super smart, super beautiful girlfriend’s graduation day.

A name a few before yours was called, and Mathew and your family perked their attention to be ready when you were called. In moments, your name was called, and you were walking across the stage. Mathew and your family all stood up to cheer for you. Mathew put the flowers down on his chair and put the camera up to take a photo. He snapped one exactly as you were handed your diploma. He put the photo in his wallet with the same one from when you were five.

As you were walking across the stage, you caught Mathew’s eyes, and he winked at you. You smiled bashfully, and as you sat, you felt the warmth on your face. The rest of the celebration went by quickly as you all threw your caps in the air and cheered. You were done! You finished! You were officially a college graduate! You said tearful goodbyes and congratulations to your friends before making your way to your family and Mathew.

Mathew stood to the side as your grandparents, parents, and siblings embraced you and congratulated you. He could see the impatience in your eyes as you greeted each and everyone of them, wanting to greet Mathew. As you hugged your grandparents after your parents, your mother walked over to Mathew.

“Hand me the polaroid camera. I’ll take a few as she comes over to you,” your mother says, and Mathew hands her the camera.

Finally, finally, it was Mathew’s turn to see you. “Congratulations,” he says to you softly.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“These are for you,” Mathew says and hands you the flowers. You both vaguely notice the flash of the camera as your mother took a photo of Mathew handing you the flowers. You take the flowers and smile behind them embarrassed. One of your siblings takes the flowers from you, so you can properly embrace Mathew. He wraps you in a giant hug and kisses your forehead. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks, baby.”

“I can’t believe that my girlfriend is a college graduate,” Mathew comments as you pull away to look at him. He leans his head down and kisses you softly. You reach your hands to wrap around his shoulders and pull him closer to you. You both deepen the kiss but not too much as your father was right there watching you two. As you and Mathew kiss, you both, once again, vaguely recall a flash of the polaroid camera. It didn’t matter. When you both were together, especially kissing, the entire world faded away. Finally, you both pull away with breathless smiles.

A few weeks later, you were both back home in Coquitlam, and it was nearing the end of your graduation party. Mathew was sitting on the back deck with his parents, Liana and your dad as the night winded down. In your hand, you held the two photos your mother took and wanted to show Mathew.

“Mind if I steal him for a moment?” you ask resting your hand on Mathew’s shoulder.

“Please, he keeps talking about you, and it’s making me sick,” Liana says. Everyone laughs in response, and you take Mathew’s hand and lead him away from the group.

“What’s up?” he asks.

“I want to show you the photos from graduation,” you tell him. “The polaroids.”

You and Mathew find a spot in the backyard and sit. Mathew sits first and opens his legs for you to sit in between. You rest with your back against his chest, and his arms reach around your waist to hold you tightly. He kisses the side of your cheek as you show him the photos.

“Here’s the first one,” you say and show him one. It’s the photo of Mathew handing you the bouquet of flowers. Smiles are adorned on both your faces, and Mathew’s eyes are laced with nothing but love for you. “We look good.”

“You always say that,” Mathew teases.

“Doesn’t mean it’s not true,” you reply looking at your boyfriend of many, many years.

He kisses your temple. “What’s the next one?”

You flip to the next photo and show it to him.

“Now this one, this one, we look good,” Mathew says, giving you a raised eyebrow. It was a photo of Mathew giving you your congratulatory kiss.

“We do look good,” you comment with a smile.

Mathew was contemplating on whether or not to tell you about the photo he took of you while you walked across the stage. He opted against it wanting to keep the photo to himself for the moment. “This is our thing, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean ‘our thing’?” you ponder.

“You know, all couples have their thing. This is our thing, taking polaroid photos,” Mathew explains.

“I guess it is,” you hum. “It’s not a bad ‘thing’ to have.”

“It really isn’t,” Mathew says and kisses you. He will be forever indebted to his mother for starting this tradition that the two of you have.

Age 24

On your first night after moving to New York, Anthony and Mathew insisted on taking you out to celebrate. You were tired, though, from unpacking and settling in all day, so you told them you didn’t want to do anything crazy. Why was Anthony tagging along? You didn’t know. He was there to help unpack, and he said you three should celebrate, so here you were.

You let Anthony and Mathew pick what they wanted to do as you showered and unpacked your stuff in the washroom. You walked out freshly showered to Mathew and Anthony having wide smiles on their faces.

“What if we took you to Times Square?” Mathew says. He walks over to you and wraps you in a giant hug. You hum in response, but Mathew isn’t sure if it's from the hug or agreeing with going to Times Square. You wrap your arms around him and breathe in his scent. You missed his scent before you moved in with him. You spent a few years back home with a job before you moved to New York. You wanted to be on your own for a bit before making the trek across the continent.

Anthony clears his throat to signal that you and Mathew weren’t the only two in the room. You both pull away, and Mathew’s face is crimson red as he meets his friend’s eyes. “So, Times Square, yes or no?”

“Sure, but not too late because I’m tired,” you reply. Getting to Manhattan from Mathew’s, no your apartment, Long Island apartment was long. You told them the train would be easier, but Mathew and Anthony would rather drive, so driving it was. The entire night was a blur. You were tired and exhausted, and the ecstasy you felt from being in the City with your boyfriend, finally, was too much to handle. You were over the moon overjoyed.

The three of you stopped for a moment in the main square of Times Square, and you looked around in awe. Mathew was watching you with nothing but love in his eyes as you took in the sight. He spent every night over the past few years wishing and dreaming of the nights and days he’d get to have you by his side. Anthony, on the other hand, was rolling his eyes at his best friend’s love sick nature.

“Did you bring your polaroid camera?” Mathew whispers into your ear.

“Yes, why?” you ask with a smile on your face that makes Mathew melt into a puddle.

“Let’s get Beau to take a photo for us.”

You watch as Mathew asks Anthony to take a photo of the two of you; you giggle quietly as Anthony rolls his eyes but says yes. Mathew walks over to you and wraps his arms around you. Anthony holds the camera up as you and Mathew smile for him. However, instead of looking at the camera, Mathew is looking down at you as you smile at the camera. He’s looking at you, the love of his life and the light of his life. Anthony snaps the photo but rolls his eyes at the lovesickness of his best friend. The photo prints, and you throw it into your purse to look at later. You continue to explore the awakeness of the Big Apple with your hand in Mathew’s. You fell in love with the city, and you were excited to be living in the lively state of New York.

Later that night, you’re getting ready for bed and standing at your dresser in the bedroom. You set your purse on it and take the polaroid camera out. Next, you take the photo out of your wallet and look at it. You smile at you and Mathew in the photo. As you’re looking, Mathew walks out of the washroom with his sweats hanging low on his hips without a shirt on and wraps his arms around you. He holds you close against his bare chest and rests his head on your shoulder breathing in your comforting and familiar scent.

“What’re you looking at?” he asks in a low husky voice that sends chills down your spine.

“The photo from tonight,” you say in a low voice as Mathew pulls you closer into his body. “You didn’t even look at the camera.”

“It’s a waste of time to stare at a camera when the best part of my life is right there,” Mathew flirts. He kisses your neck in between words pulling a soft whimper from you.

“You’re such a flirt,” you teasingly scoff. You rest the photo on the dresser and turn around, so you’re facing Mathew. You rest your arms on his shoulders and feel the expanse of the muscles there. You watch as Mathew’s eyes begin to darken and fill with need and desire.

“How else am I supposed to keep my girl satisfied?” he smirks.

“I can think of a few ways,” you tell him confidently before closing the space and placing a kiss on his lips. Mathew instantly picks you up, and you yelp slightly at the sudden touch. He carries you to the bed and places you down slowly. In between kisses, you tell him, “I love you.”

“I love you, too. More than anyone or anything in the world,” he replies. One day, he knew that he’d be getting Anthony to take a photo of the two of you with an engagement ring on your left hand.

Age 25

Engagement Party

Four months after you moved to New York, Mathew proposed to you. He got down on one knee during a date-night at home. You knew something was up when Mathew was nervous the entire night. You, obviously, said yes to forever with your best friend and the love of your life.

Now eight months later, Mathew’s family was throwing you both a small engagement party to celebrate the engagement about a month before your wedding. It was just both of your immediate families and close friends. You didn’t invite many people knowing the majority of the important people in your life would be flying to Vancouver for the wedding in about a month.

You were wearing a white sundress that made you feel like the bride that all movies and books describe. You were surrounded by your family, but most importantly, you were celebrating getting married to your best friend and love of your life.

It was getting late, and you were sitting on Mathew’s lap. You were resting your head on his shoulder with your arms wrapped around his neck and his arms wrapped around yours. The steady breathing from him and his warmth led to you falling asleep. He was tracing small patterns on your hip as he continued to talk to the small group of people around you. At some point, you heard Mathew tell someone to grab his sweater, and he threw it over your shoulders. You were so tired and didn’t tell him you were cold, but he just knew.

You didn’t know when you fell asleep, but you just did. No one noticed you were asleep until someone asked you a question, and you didn’t respond. Mathew looked down at you and noticed that you were sleeping. You looked adorable and comfortable in his arms. Mathew’s heartbeat quickened as he realized that he got to spend the rest of his life with the person in his arms. He got to spend the rest of his life with the person in his arms who looked so at rest, so beautiful, and so happy.

Liana quietly gets up to grab your polaroid camera from your purse. She knew that you’d want to have this documented.

“Get used to this, Mathew,” your dad began. “Yn will be falling asleep in your arms like this forever.”

Mathew smiled at your father’s words and rested his head against yours. He’d be more than okay with that. Liana didn’t tell Mathew he was going to take a photo. She knew that you’d far rather that the photo was candid and not scripted. Liana approached the group quietly and snapped a photo. Mathew was too absorbed in holding you that he didn’t notice. Liana left the photo on your nightstand where you found it the next morning. You smiled at the photo when you saw it knowing you weren’t making a mistake with who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

Wedding Day

You woke up the night after your wedding day curled into Mathew’s bare chest. You opened your eyes and a wide smile erupted across your face. You ran your fingers along Mathew’s stomach, and your breath hitched in your throat when you caught sight of your wedding band on your left finger.

“Morning, baby,” Mathew says in his morning voice that still makes your heart flutter. He runs his left hand across your back, and his wedding band sends chills down your spine.

“Did you know that we got married last night?” you ask sweetly.

He gives you a low chuckle. “Yes, I do know that.”

You giggle. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

You both lay in bed for a while in silence before Mathew says anything again. “Liana gave me the photos she took on the polaroid last night.”

“Oh,” you say as you sit up. You and Mathew put Liana in charge of taking a few polaroid photos of the two of you knowing she’d be the best one to do so. Mathew also roped in Anthony, but you both had more faith in Liana.

You sit up against the headboard as Mathew gets up and grabs the envelope that Liana gave him before you both left the previous night. Mathew pulls you against him as he rests against the headboard, too, and hands you the photos. You look in the envelope and notice six photos.

You pull out one and smile at it. It was your first dance with Mathew. Liana took the photo perfectly just as the song was coming to a close and Mathew was twirling you with your dress splaying out around you. Mathew had nothing but love in his for his new wife and a giant smile on his;he had tunnel vision when he looked at you. The entire world faded away except for you. You remember Mathew placing a kiss on you just as you reentered his embrace. Your heart was beating through your chest as Mathew and you continued to dance to the remainder of the song.

“We look good,” you tell him, showing him the photo. Mathew grabs the photo from your hand and is careful to only hold the corners. You’ve been on his case many, many times about not smudging the photo.

“You look good, babe,” Mathew corrects. “You always will look better than me.”

You smile bashfully at your husband’s words and smile into his chest. He tightens his grip around you before grabbing the envelope, placing the photo in it, and grabbing another. He smiles at the photo of him and his mother dancing together. “Look, it’s your mother-in-law,” he comments.

You look at the photo and smile. “Indeed it is.”

“Is it weird that she’s officially your mother-in-law?”

“Not really. I mean, it’s different, but not weird. Your mom has always been in my life, so it’s not like I don’t know her. Is it weird that my parents are your in-laws?”

“Yes, absolutely. The amount of stares that your father has given me? He never scared me when we were growing up, but in the past few years, he has.”

You laugh and place a kiss on his cheek. “Don’t worry. He’s just being protective of his child.”

“It better be just that,” Mathew mumbles. You grab another photo from the envelope and smile at the photo of you and your dad dancing together. Both yours and your father’s eyes had tears in their eyes knowing that this was it. This was what you both knew was coming but weren’t ready for. You were starting a life with Mathew and forming your new family, and your father was losing his child to the man who loves you as much as he does.

You put the photo back in the envelope and grab the next one. It was the photo of the kiss after the officiant said, “you may now kiss your bride.” You and Mathew both had wide smiles on your faces as you leaned in for the first kiss as a married couple. You remember how eager Mathew was to kiss you and how much he needed to kiss you. Sometimes, it makes you wonder how he goes on long roadtrips without kissing you. Mathew’s hands were sitting on your waist under the edges of your veil with his gold wedding band reflecting the light of the ceremony’s venue. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders with the light reflecting off your grandmother’s tennis bracelet, your something old, and Mathew’s grandmother’s gold bracelet, your something borrowed. The space between you two was non-existent as you both needed to be as close as possible to kiss. You and Mathew both had a professional photographer at the wedding, but there was something more special about the photo being taken by someone who you loved.

The fifth photo is of you and Mathew giving each other a bite of your wedding cake after biting it. You both opted for a traditional two-tiered cake with white fondant and flowers around the base. Mathew had his left arm on your waist, your veil taken off to preserve it, with his right hand holding a fork close to your mouth. You had your dominant hand resting on his chest with your nondominant hand with a fork in it to feed Mathew a piece of cake. You both were looking in each other’s eyes but midlaugh. You couldn’t remember what he said that made you laugh so hard, but you did.

The six and final photo Liana took was of your send off. To reminisce from your high school graduation party, you and Mathew opted for a sparkler send off. Sure, it was cliche but much of your relationship with Mathew was a cliche. You and Mathew were standing in front of his car as your family and friends held sparklers cheering for you all. Mathew had his hands cupping your face and giving you a kiss with a wide smile on his face. You had your arms in his hair holding him close to you. It was a perfect ending for the day of your dreams with the man of your dreams starting the life of your dreams.

“I can’t wait to see all the professional photos,” you tell him as you put the envelope on the nightstand.

“Who really needs professional photos?”

“I mean, we have all those polaroids from growing up but not many from last night, so we do?”

Mathew looks at you and smiles. “I guess we do.”

The professional photos were exactly what you were hoping for. Each time you looked at them, your heart beat just a tad faster and your stomach did somersaults. Mathew always did have that effect on you.

Honeymoon

After the wedding of your dreams, you and Mathew were off to Paris for a honeymoon of your dreams. Sure, it was very cliche, but, again, everything about yours and Mathew’s relationship was a cliche.

It was halfway through the trip when it dawned on Mathew that you both didn’t have a polaroid photo together. He was shocked to say the least when he realized it. That same day, you and Mathew were heading to the Eiffel Tower, and Mathew figured it was the best opportunity for a photo op, so he threw the camera into your purse and made a mental promise to get a photo of the two of you.

You and Mathew purchased your tickets and took the elevator to the top of the tower. On the descent, you and Mathew got off on the second level to get more pictures opting to take the steps down. You were looking at the Parisian skyline with Mathew holding you against his chest. Your arms were crossed against your chest with Mathew’s arms on top of yours. The metal of his wedding band sending shivers down your spine.

“Can we take a photo?” Mathew mumbles against your ear.

“Yeah,” you whisper back. You aren’t sure why you whispered, but you didn’t want to break the intimate moment.

“I’ll go find someone to take it for us. Polaroid, right?”

You smile softly. “Yeah.”

Mathew asks one of the working attendants to take a photo for you two. You hand the polaroid camera to the attendant. You and Mathew take the same position you were just in; however, now, you were both facing away from the skyline. You smile for the camera, but, as usual, Mathew isn’t looking at the camera but at you.

“Your husband wasn’t looking at the camera, would you like me to retake it?” the attendant asks.

You laugh softly. “No, that’s okay. Thank you.”

The attendant walks away as you look at the photo. “Why don’t you ever look at the camera? We rarely have any photos of us — polaroid or digital — where you look at the camera.”

“I think I’ve said this already, Yn, but there’s no need to look at the camera when all I want to look at is you.”

You smile and shake your head playfully at your husband. “Okay, smooth talker, take a photo of me?”

“Gladly.”

Mathew took way too many pictures of you on his phone, but his words were “it’s important to capture your world in someone else’s eyes” which he did.

Age 27

Three weeks after giving birth to your first son, Isaac, you and Mathew were exhausted to say the least. Being new parents and with the stress of the end of the regular season coming soon, you and Mathew were just plain exhausted.

Mathew was at a hockey game that night. Somehow, despite the exhaustion of being a new father, Mathew was still playing well. He managed to have a four point night; the commentators said something about his new found “father strength.”

The game ended about an hour ago, and Mathew would be home any minute. Finally, finally, Isaac was sleeping and wasn’t crying. You posted a note on the door for Mathew telling him that if he woke Isaac, you were going to a hotel to sleep. Mathew, chuckled to himself, when he read your note. He walked into your apartment, and his heart melted at what he saw. You were sitting on the couch with Isaac sleeping on your chest. You were stroking his back to keep him quiet. Every few moments you’d kiss his head out of love.

You left the polaroid camera on the kitchen counter after taking a few photos of Isaac and your new family. Leaving the camera out allowed for Mathew to take a photo of you without knowing. He puts his stuff down quietly and picks up the camera. He takes it out of the case and snaps a photo. The flash of the camera startles you slightly. When you look over to the flash, you smile when you see your husband. Mathew places the photo facedown on the table and walks over to you. He takes his tie off and rests it on the side of the couch. He sits next to you and kisses your forehead. “Hey,” he whispers.

“Hi,” you whisper back.

“How was Isaac?”

“He was good,” you tell him. “I’m tired. I’m not sure how I’m going to get through the rest of his life.”

“Hey, we’ll be okay, okay? We’ll figure it out, okay?” Mathew reassures.

You nod. “Yeah, we’ll be okay.”

Later that night, you put Isaac down for bed and enter your bedroom. You fell asleep easily that night in Mathew’s arms with a soft smile on your face. Yeah, everything would be okay.

Age 28

Shortly after giving birth to Isaac, both you and Mathew were hit with a really bad case of baby fever. Everytime you or Mathew held Isaac, the next immediate thought you both had was “let’s have another baby.” Every time you saw Mathew doing skin-to-skin contact with Isaac, your heart would flutter with love for your husband, your son, and a strong desire for another baby.

Seven months postpartum, you finally felt comfortable with approaching your husband with the topic of having another baby. Mathew was super excited that you brought it up. At first, trying to conceive was slightly painful. You were both patient with the process knowing it would happen when it would happen. You finally conceived after six months of trying.

Five months later, you felt comfortable announcing it to the world. You bought a whiteboard and wrote a message that said, “Baby Barzal #2 coming soon.” Also, you placed the ultrasound photo on the top corner with a baby jersey with “Barzal 02” on it. You took a photo of it to post both on yours and Mathew’s instagrams. You smiled at the messages you received from your friends, family, the WAGs, and Mathew’s teammates. You both opted not to tell anyone except for immediate family wanting to enjoy the news on your own for the time being.

“Mathew, do you know where the polaroid camera is?” you call out realizing that you had a polaroid of the baby announcement for Isaac but not baby number two.

“On the dresser, probably,” he called from Isaac’s room. You could hear the scrunch in his nose as he changed Isaac’s smelly diaper.

“Thanks, babe,” you call back and walk into your bedroom. You grab the camera and walk back to where you have the pregnancy announcement still sitting on the floor. You snap a photo and smile as you place it on the wall.

With baby #2, your heart was full and excited for what would be coming in the future.

Age 29

“Anthony, please?” you beg.

“Why do you guys always get me to take the photos of the two of you?” Anthony whines.

“Because you’re the best at it!” These words do not convince him further to take a photo of you, Mathew, your daughter, Shannon, and your son, Isaac. “What about, if we have another baby, we name them Anthony”

“What? No,” Mathew yells. “No way. No more kids”

“Just give me the camera,” Anthony sighs. You, who is holding Shannon, and Mathew, who is holding Isaac, walk out to the door of your new house. Shortly after finding out you were pregnant with your second child, you and Mathew began looking for a house to live in, figuring an apartment, no matter the size, was too small for the family you both wanted to build.

Mathew holds Isaac in his right arm and wraps his left arm around your waist. You hold Shannon in your left arm with your right arm wrapped around Mathew and look up at him and smile. He smiles back down at you. Anthony knows, after taking way too many polaroids for you two, when to take the photo — when you both inevitably kiss. As he expected, Mathew leans down and kisses you with a wide smile. Anthony holds up the camera and snaps a photo. You both pull back as Anthony hands the photo and camera to you.

“One of your future kids better have Anthony as their middle name or something. Don’t say you’re not having more because we both know the way Barzy is,” he grumbles as he walks back into your newly finished house.

Mathew goes into Isaac’s bedroom to put him down for a nap as you put Shannon down for a nap and grab the tape to put this new polaroid photo on the wall. You put it up and smile at the rows and rows of photos that line the walls. You stand there looking sentimentally at all the memories.

“Hey, you okay?” Mathew asks and rests an arm around your waist.

“Yeah, just look at all the photos from our lives,” you tell him. You rest your head on his chest as you both your eyes trace over the photos. The photos spanned from many different parts of your lives, both together and separately. On the wall, there are many photos of you and Mathew from when you were young, to young adults, to adults living together in New York. On this wall tells the story of how you were best friends from a young age to being lovers to finally being married. The wall tells the stories of you and your friends from high school and college, and it tells the story of Mathew’s hockey career. The wall tells the story of your engagement and marriage. All the photos are a piece of who you both are.

“Here’s to many more photos on this wall,” Mathew says.

“And to maybe another wall dedicated to polaroid photos,” you add on getting a smirk from Mathew.

“The more kids we have, the more photos we’re going to have.”

You giggle. “I thought you didn’t want any more kids.”

“We make some really great kids, so maybe.”

“And it's not because you have a breeding kink?” you tease, and Mathew blushes at your words.

“Maybe it’s because you look great pregnant.”

“So, maybe more kids?” you suggest with a smile.

“Maybe more kids,” Mathew confirms with a kiss on your cheek.

Despite the wall being 75% filled, you knew that your best days were still ahead of you. You couldn’t wait for the future photos that will tell the story of yours and Mathew’s lives together.

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[peanutpinet]

Yuta (cold mafia boss)

Prompt: 20)“The only time a man should be fast is when he’s trying to dodge my bullets.” - 100 Dialogue Prompts for Mob Boss AUs

A/N: since NCT 127 have decided to attack us since Friday with all their day/night posts and whatever more things they still got in the back storage, I just gotta do some fics about the dark concept, cause like, yea XD. I asked my friend whose bias is Yuta to choose a prompt and so, here we are XD

Warnings: some form of harassment, cursing (it's Yuta) drinking, spiked drink and hint of kidnapping

It was a Friday night and you were more than excited to finally have some time off to hang out with your boyfriend, Yuta, who was also part "gang leader" of NCT, an infamous group that people thought do illegal doings when they're the ones shutting the illegal businesses down.

Yuta being Yuta didn't disclose what he did from the beginning. But he also never fully tell you everything which, is understandable, it was confidential information. Despite so, Yuta never restricted your movements and you both would have some normal cafe dates, picnic dates, etc. Even so, there will be times where Yuta would have you do some personal training that includes self-defence, quizzes about types of chemicals, guns, etc. In his defense, he just wants you to be prepared should something goes wrong and you're alone.

Despite following Yuta's needs, you would sometimes joke about how it won't happen or that Yuta will make sure it wouldn't go too far or even if anything did happen, you were sure that Yuta would eventually find a way to make things right. Boi, were you in for a treat.

As mentioned, you were finally going to have a night out with Yuta after so long and had just finished getting ready when you received a text from Yuta saying, "hey love, sorry this is super last minute but could you change into a more black-tie dress code? We are sort of having a business dinner tonight and I want to bring you as my date. I'm on my way to pick you up right now. Don't worry, you don't have to put on anything you're uncomfortable cause whatever you wear, you still look hot to me ;)"

So of course you did what Yuta asked. You changed into a simple long black dress that fitted your figure and touched up your makeup a bit more and let your hair down. As you were putting on the last of your accessories and about to put your shoes on, Yuta was already ringing the bell. You quickly opened the door for him and told him that you were just going to put your shoes on which Yuta chuckled and helped you as he saw you struggling.

"You didn't have to go all out and wear heels babe, you'll have sore feet by the end of the night" Yuta mentioned, holding you steady as you were putting on your heels

"I mean, if it's just dinner, I'll just be sitting either way. You so owe me with a pizza movie night next week" you complained, finally putting your shoes

"Anything for you babe. Let's go" Yuta smiled, bringing your arm wrapped around his and helped you get into the car before he went to the driver's seat

Arriving at the dinner, you felt out of place since this was the first time Yuta actually brought you. Noticing your nervous state, Yuta wrapped his arm over your shoulder, telling you that he'll be right beside you unless you need to go to the restroom or need some personal space.

Nodding, Yuta gave you a heartwarming smile and brought you around. First and foremost, to his other members that were joining the dinner, the people you knew the week you and Yuta started dating. Allowing some weight off since how worried you were.

"Oh, (Y/N)!! Welcome!! Hope Yuta didn't force you to come here" Johnny greeted you which Yuta gave him a glare

"Well, he sorta promised me for a pizza movie night date next week, so I guess it's a winwin" you replied, chuckling

"Oooh, can we come? I miss just watching movies on the weekend" Jungwoo requested, pulling out his puppy eyes

"Maybe if you find yourself a girlfriend, I'd consider it" Yuta hissed, you hit him playfully

"Hey (Y/N), sometimes I wonder what you see in Yuta. He's so aggressive" Jungwoo joked as Taeyong tried to calm everyone and directed everyone to their table since dinner was starting

Dinner surprisingly went well and the opposing business partners were actually cooperating; like, they would agree to what NCT were asking, even giving some suggestions for the corporation. But nevertheless, every NCT member were on their best guard; heck, they all had their guns rested by their hips and even knifes hidden within their clothing.

Seeing how the talk about the business bore you, you took a big sip off of the drink the waiter had just poured for you. Suddenly feeling the urge to go to the bathroom, you excused yourself from everyone at the table, nodding your head when Yuta told you to immediately come back once you're done.

However, you didn't go to the bathroom because of the urge to pee or anything. Instead, it's because you didn't feel too good, maybe the alcohol in your drink was a bit too much to your tolerance but whether you want to admit it or not, you didn't feel good and felt like you could pass out at any second.

After purging and sitting down for a bit, you felt slightly better but not good enough because everything around you was tilted. Taking a deep breath, you just kept on thinking how the dinner table wasn't that far and if you hurry, you can just make it to Yuta's side and pass out however you like.

Pulling whatever willpower you have left, you stood up and started to walk out of the bathroom. Holding onto the wall, you slowly walked down the hall back to your table, until someone came up to you, asking if you were alright which you told them that you were fine. You may be dizzy and not feeling good, but you surely weren't dumb nor were you drunk.

Despite the guy saying that all he wanted to do was to help you, you clearly knew that wasn't his true intention since he was gripping you a bit too much to your liking. You've tried pushing him away but that only made his grip tighter. And to top it off, instead of helping you to your actual table or at least asking where your table was, he brought you to a more quiet area; making your heart beat quicker.

Unfortunately, at this point, whatever was in your drink was sinking it and you slowly start to lose consciousness and hope as from what you can see, you were far from your table. But thank the universe because all of a sudden you hear a loud ring and the tight grip was gone; instead, it was replaced by a warm embrace.

"Get him out of here before I actually kill him right here and now" you heard Yuta's stern voice commanding his other members

"I got you, baby. Let's get you back home, hmm?" you heard Yuta's voice turned soft; not having any more energy, you just nodded and fell asleep in his embrace

Because Yuta felt he can't leave you alone nor not torment the people that hurt you, he decided to bring you back to NCT's place. Wiping off your makeup and putting on your skincare for you, Yuta had one of the maids help change your clothes and then he tucked you in bed; not leaving your side until he's convinced that you're fully asleep before leaving a gentle kiss on your forehead then quietly leaving the room.

Walking out of the room, he saw Jeno and Jaemin, asking them to guard your room until he gets back. Making his way to the basement, he met with the NCT members that joined the dinner that did not end well at all.

Turns out, not long after you left, the neos already had a bad feeling; that something was not right, especially since their "business partners" were eyeballing the situation around them and it was revealed that the dinner was just a cover-up and that they were planning to use you to get to the neos, which clearly did not end well for them.

"Is she alright?" Taeyong asked, seeing Yuta was fuming

"She's very much passed out the second I found her. Are they all in there?" Yuta questioned strictly

"Yea. All tied up and blindfolded on the ground" Johnny mentioned

"Good" Yuta smirked, slamming the door open, making the prisoners jerked in surprise

"Rise and shine motherf*ckers. I hope you're ready for what's coming" Yuta shouted as some of the neos took their blindfolds off

"And y'all call yourselves men. Tch. You guys may be agile but not agile enough. The only time a man should be fast is when he’s trying to dodge my bullets. Not getting caught by their enemies. And surely not looking or thinking to do anything to another person's girlfriend. Oh well, what's done is done. Be lucky that we all got there in time. But, that doesn't mean I'll go easy on you. Let's see...should I start off with your fingers because you touched my girl or your head for ever thinking that little stunt of yours. Either way, I'm definitely going to take my time with you all" Yuta ranted, a smirk forming on his face as he saw the horror of his prisoners while the neos put their blindfolds back on

A/N: yeap, this turned out longer than expected. Welp, this is what happens when NCT updates with a dark concept I guess XD