#This one was a really wild ride and again I'm conflicted on it

[moonyasnow]

Ship intro: Leomoe

The image of cat Tomoe & Leona was made by my friend @cactus13-rolloflammesimp ^^

Some fics I think really fit to show off their relationship and dynamic and stuff! Not perfect, of course, but pretty close:

'Burn Wild' by @/solxamber ("Always so close, yet so far away. Leona pushes it down—he keeps pushing and pushing, until one day, he lets it break.")

'There's a Calm Surrender' by @/cheapshrimpysheep ("The Bead Brawl tournament ends and Leona and the other three run away leaving you[Tomoe], Grim and Jack behind. This causes Neji(Kifaji) to reprimand Leona and trigger him into taking you[Tomoe] on a ride to confess to you[Tomoe]")

I made a little imaginary music video in my head for their theme song

Hereeee comes the timeline stuff~

Keep in mind I miiight need to change up some stuff in the future depending on what happens after Book 7 and stuff like that.

AND THIS IS SOOOO LONG I SWEAR I DIDN'T THINK IT'D END UP THIS LONG

T I M E L I N E :

Book 1

Tomoe's first thought upon tripping over Leona's tail is So there really is a different species with animal-characteristics in this world...'

Of course she saw a couple of students with similar characteristics before...but this, having it confirmed before her very eyes that the tails and ears are REAL, that the people they're attached to feel the same kind of pain an animal from Earth would if it was stepped on, made it really start to sink in.

As soon as it does, her first reaction is to bow in apology.

"I apologize; I didn't realize there was someone else here."

All he did was 'hmph' in response. "Ain't nothin' worse than bein' in the middle of a good nap and havin' some jerk step on your tail."

"Again: I am sincerely sorry."

"You...I know you. You're one of those herbivores from orientation who couldn't use magic."

When he suddenly stands up, walks towards her, and sniffs her, she can't help but yelp in surprise.

"H-heeh—?"

This isn't the first time she's been shocked in the past few days, but this is probably the biggest shock she's received yet. She wasn't used to anyone, much less someone she'd barely known for a minute, walking up so close to her, and doing something like sniffing her.

Realizing it must be related to the biology of the Earth animal whose features he seemed to share, she didn't take offense at it, but it was still somewhat bewildering.

"Well, can't say it'd be much fun to hurt someone so helpless. Still gonna do it, though."

And she snapped out of her state of surprised confusion quickly, alert and prepared for some kind of a conflict.

"No one gets to stomp on my tail and just walk away without payin' the price. I'm in a bad mood on account of bein' woken up from my nap, too. That's gonna cost you a tooth."

She wasn't quite sure whether to try talking her way out of it first, considering she was going to need to return to that part of the botanical gardens either way, and the lion's tail lead her to suspect he'd be able to outrun them quite easily, but Grim's urging lead her to deciding that 'cheesing it' was indeed the better option.

She'd picked up Grim into her arms, one leg poised to make the first leap of a get-away, when the hyena beastman she'd later come to know as Ruggie appeared, preventing an all-out conflict.

"Hrmph… Next time you stink up my territory, there's gonna be a price to pay, herbivores!"

Was the last thing said between them during their first meeting, Tomoe watching on silently, still on-guard, until he left, and she let out a quiet breath.

Her mind was quickly turned to other matters.

Still...his boldness in stepping so close to her to confirm his suspicions did leave quite an impression on her.

To sum it up, her first impression was that he was someone to be wary around. Not meant in any negative way toward him, just that if they were to become enemies, he's someone she couldn't underestimate.

Book 2

As soon as they encountered Ruggie, Tomoe immediately knew he'd done something, like magic of some kind, knowing food was the one thing Grim would never concede, and so was immediately suspicious of him. She knew, at least, by this point that Grim couldn't lie to save his life, so she believed what he said about feeling like his body was copying Ruggie's.

After being assigned to the case by Crowley, and hearing all of the students report feeling like their body was moving on its own...her gut was telling her he was the most likely suspect. But she refrained from saying anything about her suspicions until she had more proof.

And she DEFINITELY caught Jack mumbling to himself about how he didn't think he'd become a target.

Frankly? She thought it was sloppy. If they wanted to go undiscovered, they should have had one of their own fake an injury; or at the very least fake narrowly escaping getting hurt.

And as soon as she heard that Savannaclaw had lost to Diasomnia the past years, and that they would be paired up against Diasomnia in the first round of the tournament she already had most of the case figured out.

On Leona's side of things…

All this planning, almost time for his plan to be put into action, and here comes this meddling herbivore and her hairball familiar playing detective?

…And she figured him out, and thwarted his plans.

Typical.

Because of course; life had never given him anything he wanted before, no matter how hard he'd worked for it, so why would it this time?

He still held some lingering resentment for what happened…though a lot of it was directed inwards, swearing at himself for being bested by such a simple, doe-eyed herbivore.

But after all was said and done, she didn't hold a grudge. Since, because of that vision she somehow saw...she understood. She understood exactly where all those feelings came from, and roughly how they lead to where they did.

She decided to pretend like the whole entire thing hadn't even happened, not letting her perception of him be defined by it.

But what he hated the most was that...after he came to following his overblot. He didn't find the same scorn in her eyes as he did in the others'. Not even the anger and disappointment in Ruggie and Jack's. Instead it was... No, he didn't know what it was.

Neither did she.

But he quickly decided to just stop thinking about it.

She didn't. She couldn't.

Especially after the match they played against each other. Even with her only acting as a strategist, playing against him... It brought her a feeling she didn't have the words to describe.

Book 3

When he heard what she'd done, he was absolutely floored. He thought she really must be stupid. Or absolutely insane! Maybe both...

That she'd really go out of her way to ask for every single one of Azul's contracts at NRC to be broken if she fulfilled her end of the deal...it was the gutsiest, most arrogant, foolhardy thing he'd ever heard someone try.

What was weirder to him was how calm she looked about it. Like stated earlier, insane...or maybe she really did have some trick card up her sleeve?

He wasn't counting on it, though.

During Book 3 after being kicked out of their dorm, while Irina had decided to brave one of the unused 'storage' rooms, Tomoe and Grim ended up sharing a sleeping bag on the floor of Leona's room.

Her first thought upon seeing it was that she desperately wanted to clean it. And seeing as she's used to getting up at 05:00 every day...she took the chance to at least get all the clothes laying around the room into a few small piles in a corner of the room, divided by garment type.

As for how she ended up getting his help...

Picture HOURS of loud enka singing. As well as the intro songs of anime she'd watched with her siblings growing up.

Seeing her, to him surprising, ruthlessness in getting his help, Leona gained quite a bit of respect for her as a person after it was all over. In fact they both ended up realizing that, despite the obvious difference in her being so hands-on and his hands-off approach, they were remarkably similar. In Leona, for the first time, she found someone who could keep up with her natural quick-thinking. She actually felt her heart flutter a little when their first chess match against each other resulted in a draw.

And after the events at Mostro Lounge, she 'somehow' seemed to find her way to where he was more often. Or perhaps it was him who just 'happened' to be in places she'd pass by. Maybe a bit of both. They both began to introduce each other to more and more strategic board games, Tomoe to Yoté and Dara, Leona to Shogi and Go, and kept finding their win-lose ratio begin to plateau as soon as the other figured out the rules. It didn't take long before many students were betting on who would win the next match. They may not have been there for the actual games themselves, but it was usually easy to tell who won, lost, or if it was a draw based on the two's respective moods.

It felt refreshing to for once be allowed to go all out against someone and not have to bother thinking about being polite all the time. She was still very polite toward everyone else, of course, but he was a special exception. The two teased each other quite often, too. It seemed that both of them could dish it out, but neither could really take it, huffing and pouting and becoming defensive when the other did it. He made her incredibly frustrated at times, which was a very new experience for her, as she'd never had an equal she could really get upset at without it being for good reason before. With him she didn't always need to be responsible and mature or relied upon. She kinda liked it. He could get under her skin in a way no one else had ever managed to; challenged her in a way she'd never realized she craved.

And as for his side of things, she had a lot more patience with him than most people did. She treated him just like she would anyone else. She wasn't afraid to call him out on it when he acted out of turn, and stuck by him even when he did, but otherwise didn't mind his grouchy, callous way of acting, sometimes even teasing him for 'acting like a grumpy cat'. Eventually it became commonplace to see her sitting under a tree while Leona used her lap as a pillow, Tomoe turning the pages of a book laid on the grass with one hand and using the other to play with his hair. And, knowing how much it hurt her that no one in Twisted Wonderland knew anything about Earth history and she thus couldn't talk about it with anyone, he let her basically infodump to him about it whenever she wanted— so long as she kept playing with his hair, of course. He always acted like he was asleep, but really, he listened. And she knew he did. And he probably knew that she knew. But they didn't say anything about it. For once, they didn't need to.

And maybe it was sorta nice…knowing he hadn't been bested by just any herbivore.

And Leona actually ended up making her more open to being a bit less hands-on, learning to delegate and to trust they were competent enough to handle themselves. And she in turn encouraged him to become more involved in the activities of his Dorm where it was needed, such as cracking down on Savannaclaw students' frequent starting of fights.

She can also tend to overwork herself sometimes, so Leona forcefully pulling her away to take a nap was exactly what she needed. And Leona having been the one at fault also gave her some kind of excuse for why she was 'slacking off'. And when Cheka visited, she was more than happy to take over Leona's responsibility of babysitting him; she'd always loved kids and had a very motherly personality, and the little lion's eyes always lit up when he begged her to tell him another story. ...Though Leona did become a little bit jealous of her spending so much time away from him when Cheka visited, so he often ended up joining in on their activities anyway.

And they'd also started sitting together at lunch more and more often.

I like to imagine that when Leona sits with Tomoe, Grim and Adeuce at lunch (Irina usually eats either with Jamil and Ruggie(when neither are busy helping out Kalim or Leona) or with Malleus) Tomoe instantly starts picking some pieces of meat from his tray to it on hers, and replacing it with some of the vegetables from hers

She eats a lot more vegetarian food than meat, so I imagine she used the argument that this way they're both getting more varied diets

He still leaves most of the vegetables untouched…most of them. He does eat a little bit of it. Sometimes.

Book 4

For just a second, just one, Leona wondered if maybe he'd offer for her to stay at some some hotel in the Sunset Savannah over the break, knowing just how awful the heat isolation was in the rickety old house Tomoe and her dorm-mates lived in.

But then he remembered his brother and sister-in-law would probably be bugging him to meet her. Even worse if Cheka found out she was there. He seemed to like her just as much as he liked Leona himself.

Book 5

There's not much going on this book so instead I'll write a bit more about the internal parts, as well as some details I didn't know where else to write

She saw through that protective façade of his. Saw the good in him. She saw a man who cared a lot more than he would ever let on, who wanted to prove his worth, that he was worth more than the weight of a crown he was born a decade too late for, a weight that would always weight him down like a shackle of phantom pain…but had given up hope he could ever change it, or that the chain would ever weight less.

Each time she revealed just how well she truly saw him, he felt his pulse begin to race with a cold sweat, feeling completely and utterly naked under her gaze.

But it was also all he'd ever wanted.

To not feel the weight of that steel ball on his ankle. To look into someone's eyes and realize that for once, they weren't looking into a one-way mirror, but through glass, straight at him.

For Leona the man, not the prince, to be perceived.

Because of Tomoe, Leona now knows what happens in:

The Journey to the West

Romance of the Three Kingdoms

Water Margin

The Art of War

The Tale of Genji

The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter

The Iliad

The Odyssey

Don Quixote

Les Misérables

All of Shakespeare's written works

The Epic of Gilgamesh

The Poetic and Prose Edda (sources on Norse mythology)

The Saga of Grettir

He's picked it all up the many times he's pretended to be asleep on Tomoe but has actually mostly just been listening to her talk.

Now, she never gets details from her favorite books wrong. But if she ever did, he'd be able to correct her about ANY detail. He hopes it doesn't actually come to that though because then he'd need to break the weird kayfabe of whatever the heck their current relationship would be classified as and actually admit he's been paying very close attention to her this whole time.

Of course he knows she already knows, but saying it WITH WORDS is another thing entirely.

Cloudcalling the Savannah

This is, understandably, considering it's Leona's hometown event, a pretty big moment for them. I'm gonna include a lot of quotes

Tomoe tells him that, though she'd heard him complain about his family before, she could never entirely see exactly why he seemed so frustrated. But now, she understands exactly why. She's also frustrated now. She talks to him about ideas like putting up solar panels; the Sunset Savannah has nothing if not sunlight, after all. So that energy could fuel more industries, in turn giving jobs to the people in the slums both as workers on Solar plants, but also in the factories, and making deliveries. And they found yet another common ground. Basically, she's the only one who's really on the same wavelength as Leona, both in terms of their very intelligent, logical minds, as well as seeing exactly how short-sighted and misguided his family's efforts are.

She says, upon seeing the golden fountain: "In my home's history, there was once a queen of a country going through a famine while the nobility still lived large in their mansions and palaces. When a revolt started, and the common-folk lead a march to the palace to demand the king open his overflowing granaries to them, just to be able to feed themselves, she is said to have stated: 'If they are hungry, let them eat cake.'"

Leona, who's listened to her ramble on about history for countless hours, knows that the quote was 1) not at all from Japanese history, 2) only misattributed to her, and 3) only later on. But Tomoe says: "The point still stands, so they don't need to know that." And his respect for her grows a bit more.

[ When they're at the market ]

"Unfortunately, I don't have much to spare."

"If you recall, the monthly sum the Headmage provides me with is supposed to cover food for me, Grim and Irina for an entire month. A shiny bauble doesn't fill an empty stomach." Grim complains. "Grim, we were given these ribbons, so we have mementos already. And our hosts are being very generous allowing us to stay here free of charge. They even bought you your juice."

[and then Leona says he'll pay for whatever Grim gets]

"Now Grim, what do we say?"

"Sure sure, thanks and all that, now I gotta pick!"

Smiling, Tomoe shakes her head in amusement. While Grim is distracted with the thing he got, Tomoe goes closer to Leona. "Thank you."

Leona says: "The hairball already said it himself. But I won't turn away even more gratitude." Tomoe shakes her head again, look on her face even more amused.

"I'm thanking you myself, for getting it for him. We would survive without it, yes, but I do like to see that happy look on his face. So thank you, for spoiling him in my stead."

"Huh, wonder where the three who usually watch Cheka are… …Oh, don't tell me." Leona said.

"Oh, yes." Answered Kifaji. "I do hope you're prepared, Prince Leona."

The aforementioned prince only 'tsk'ed in reply.

'Ah.' she thought. She turned to him.

"I suppose we should expect a challenge then."

Leona could practically feel the look Neji must've shot him at overhearing this exchange (which he pointedly chose not to turn to see) drilling into his head. It had been very few people who could really see into his head like that. Even if this itself wasn't a very groundbreaking example of insight into him, it was enough that Neji would get curious. But he remained steadfast that he would NOT be giving the old bird even a milimeter, lest he take a mile.

He was not ready to have any sort of conversation about the topic he presumed he'd be asked about.

...about Tomoe. About him and Tomoe.

And let's not even mention when Cheka decided he'd start calling her 'anty Tomoe'.

He was not looking forward to his next trip home...

Thought speaking of trips... When, after the Bead Brawl, Leona, Lilia, Vil and Kalim all sped away in his car, leaving her, Grim, Jack, Spike (still suffering from a terrible sunburn) behind with Neji...she felt a bit forlorn.

She...kinda wished he'd taken her along, too.

Book 6

She went after Grim. The whole incident made her realize just how important Grim had become to her in such a short time; she felt like a mother who'd lost her child. She was worried for the others too, especially Leona, but she knew they could handle themselves.

Or at least so she thought. But when she did see Leona again...she was so relieved. The worry for Grim had been stronger at first because she actually saw him be taken away. But seeing Leona again she realized just how worried she'd been for him too when that worry was lifted from her shoulders.

The utter relief she felt upon seeing him again, combined with the memory of the end of their visit to the Sunset Savannah finally made something click for her.

She was in love with him.

The news shocked even her at first. She hadn't realized that falling in love was something she really COULD do...she'd never had much interest in it before; had never even had a crush.

But, if there was anyone who could make her fall for them, of course it'd be him. It just made sense to her, that of all the people she'd ever been close to, that it was him.

No one else would ever be able to compare to him.

Book 7

She is asleep. She dreams of some strange, fanfiction-esque alternate reality: a historical Japanese setting based off the media she'd engaged with of the Muromachi period. Everyone she's met from Twisted Wonderland is there, as is her family and friends from back home, and she's the Samurai/Strategist/closest companion/lover of Leona, who's here the second son to the Emperor and breaks away from the Imperial family and starts a war to win personal status. She knew she couldn't persuade him it was a bad idea, so instead she decided to just do everything she could to make sure their war went smoothly.

But she's always been more interested in the lives of historical people in general, whether they be Priests or Warlords or Commoners or Emperors, than she has in the actual bloody side of warfare. So the dream barely actually shows any of the 'war' parts, seeming to be mostly just in a lull period where preparations are still being made, but the war has already broken out. And when it does show combat, there's way more of an emphasis on the strategy.

Book 8?

I'm using this as a placeholder name for whenever Crowley actually manages to find a way home for Tomoe and Irina.

Irina decides very quickly she's not going back to Earth; she's staying in Twisted Wonderland with Malleus.

But for Tomoe?

It's not that easy.

She actually has something to go back to.

She has people she loves in her world; her mother, father, sister, brother, grandparents, and her friends Tooru, Kaede and Miki. Before she was sent to Twisted Wonderland she got into the school she'd always wanted to go to and was prepared to study history and eventually get a teaching degree, and become a history teacher, like she's wanted ever since she was very small.

She was just about to celebrate her brother's birthday, and then later that week go to a fireworks festival with her friends-- their last before they'd all start going to separate schools for the first time and not be able to hang out as much. It was a bit sad...but also hopeful. Bittersweet. They were growing, and while things wouldn't stay the same, in some ways they would become even better.

Then she wakes up in an uncomfortable coffin to a talking cat almost burning her to a crisp trying to steal the uniform she doesn't remember putting on.

And she's forced to become a janitor working only for room and board, in a dilapidated hovel of a house, trying to keep that talking cat- who can breathe fire- in line enough to not get both her, him, and the other student from her world she needs to look after from being expelled and kicked out to survive on the streets in a world none of them are ready for.

All the while, she's wondering if her family and friends are worried about her. And she has to deal with the headmage, who clearly has no plans on actually going out of his way to try and find a way home for her nor Irina.

But it's not all bad. She makes friends at Night Raven College. Ace and Deuce, the troublemakers. And every time she gets dragged into the conflicts of the other dorms, she still manages to make more friends, and resolve conflicts in the process, leading to her becoming quite respected by the students she's met.

So when one of them tells her she's staring to fit in a little TOO well...she can't say she disagrees.

She slowly starts to lose the feeling she had of her stay at NRC only being temporary. She started to have fun, with her friends, losing herself in those small moments of joy, like seeing Ace and Deuce fight over something insignificant, or Grim fall asleep after stuffing himself on tuna and needing to carry him to bed herself, or just learning more about the worlds from its residents.

And somewhere along the way, she got very attached to the people in Twisted Wonderland she considered dear to her. And some of them got very attached to her too. ...Even one who initially tried not to.

She came to see Grim and Irina like family. Ace and Deuce as her best friends. And...she even fell in love for the first time.

But still...

Even though she's 19, that doesn't mean she still doesn't have moments where she just wants to hug her mom. Reminisces about memories with the people from her world she loves and misses.

So she's faced with a choice.

If she goes home, she loses Grim, Irina, Ace and Deuce forever. She loses Leona.

But she will never fully be able to explain that grief to anyone. Because no one would believe her when she told them why she disappeared for so long.

And she'll live forever knowing her troublemaking little cat and her big grumpy lion will go on without her, still remembering her. Knowing that she can never meet them again. And that no one would ever be able to understand.

Going back would feel like 'waking from a dream'. Going on pretending it really was a dream, not speaking of it...would feel like saying the experiences she had, the ways she grew, the people she grew to love, her bonds with them...that none of it mattered.

If she stays, she loses her mother, father, her siblings, grandparents, and her friends. People who have known her for her entire life; who hold memories-- parts of her-- even she herself has forgotten. Friends and family who will never know what happened to her, and go on forever fearing she was met with some kind of horrible fate.

And she can never become a history teacher, what she's wanted her entire life.

She can never experience any part of the culture she grew up in again. Not even the language; her mother tongue. For even if she has children, and she teaches it to them, if they don't carry it forward, it'll be forever lost.

How are you really supposed to go about making a choice like that?

Even though she knows what her gut is telling her to choose, isn't it a little too impulsive to just trust her gut in a situation like this?

She needs time to think. And she says as much.

Irina stays over at Diasomnia for a while, taking Grim with her, to give Tomoe space to think.

The expression on his face as she says bye for a little while tugs painfully at her heart.

And as she spends time for herself, just thinking, over the next few days, the realization hits her just how strange it feels that Leona isn't there either. That she has no one to spill her thoughts to. And she recalls all the times she'd thought aloud next to him, and they'd ended up bickering about something or other. Even though it might have been considered fighting...it always warmed her heart in the end.

She wondered if he felt the same way about her...if just her presence was enough to light up his day. She wasn't sure those words would apply...but she knew him well enough to know she'd become special to him, somehow. Even just the possibility that her leaving MIGHT make him feel like how she felt now...

As was usually the case, especially when one of the Ramshackle quartet was involved, a secret rarely stayed a secret for long at Night Raven.

And inevitably, word that the headmage had found a way home for the Prefect of Ramshackle dorm found its way to the lion's den.

And for the first time in a long, long time...he felt panic. Saw the vision of her slipping through his fingers like sand. Just imagining it he felt...so helpless...

And for once, he had trouble sleeping.

He remembered what life had been like before she arrived.

He didn't want to go back to it.

And he knew she liked him. He wasn't stupid. So maybe, just maybe...he might be able to convince her to reconsider.

...Yeah no, he himself could barely believe that. But what was he gonna do? Just let her go? No way. Not now. Not after she wormed her way into his heart like that.

How could she just not tell him what was going on in the first place?! To have found out from some rumor mill... He was pissed.

And desperate.

And so scared...worried he was too late. That she'd already made up her mind.

"It's...an impossible decision, really. I have people I love on both sides. But I've made up my mind now."

He thought his heart would stop. Or maybe it already had? His ears were more perked up than he'd ever had them before...she really had him acting like some damn prey animal.

"I'm going to stay."

Only when she said those words did he realize for how long he'd been holding his breath.

...She loved the people in both worlds just as much...but she'd realized what her priorities were. Caring for Grim, and being with Leona. It felt right, like what she was supposed to do.

Of course she still loved her family very, very much.

But if she went back home, she'd most likely be 'that one mysterious disappearance case who turned up again' for the rest of her life. Not to mention that she'd be the only one who knew what had happened in the months she'd been gone; no one else would ever believe her.

And she knew that her friends and family had each other. But Grim only really had her. And she wasn't going to just leave him.

She could always find a new way forward in life; new goals, new dreams. But people are irreplaceable.

Of course, there were still a lot of feelings she'd need to sort through. But there would be no matter what she chose...

He sighed.

"Damn Herbivore...gettin' me all worked up like that... You're lucky I—..."

Holding onto his hand, she leans her cheek against his palm, closing her eyes and nuzzling against him.

"I know."

"I love you too."

"Tch. Don't go gettin' all sappy on me..." But he still leaned his forehead against hers. "...Tomoe."

She was his pillow for a long time after that. More than she usually was because this time he didn't just use her lap as a pillow, but her entire body.

He really had underestemated her. She was the first person to ever scare him. To ever make him feel desperate. The first to make him vulnerable.

Every weak link, jagged edge and hard surface...but also every spot of warmth, shining light, and gentle curve.

Seeing all that he is, good and bad...and loving every part just the same.

Even if she gets annoyed when he refuses let her get up in the morning and makes her late to class, or flicks his tail in her face when he's upset, or bosses her around telling her to make him dinner while he freeloads on the kitchen counter.

She loves that too. Because it's just like him. And every quirk and habit is proof of him, and his presence in her life.

And of course, she makes sure to get back at him, too.

Chat why am I crying—

BUT I'M FINALLY DONE

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@nyx-of-night @theolivetree123 @babyghoul138 @skibidibabygirl @screamintoad

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@crimsonrose34

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[bethanydelleman]

i wanted to let you know i really appreciate your analyses of austen, there have been many times when an insight of yours helped me gain a new appreciation of the books. if it's OK there's one point on which i wanted to disagree with you though (if your blog isn't the space for that then pls delete this ask!) - i don't think the narrator of persuasion completely and explicitly sides with lady russell over wentworth 8 years ago (or vice versa). yes, anne tells him she was right to accept her advice, but that's not so much a defense of lady russell as it is an acknowledgement of anne's arc in no longer doubting herself and regretting her past actions, is it? after all, the book says "There was nothing less for Lady Russell to do, than to admit that she had been pretty completely wrong" with respect to wentworth (and mr elliot).

moreover, i'm surprised that not as many people on tumblr (or maybe i'm just not in the right circles) acknowledge the fact that lady russell somewhat projects the image of anne's mother onto her (because i used to see this all the time on JA forums and ancient ao3 comments sections lol); she says to anne: "You are your mother’s self in countenance and disposition; and if I might be allowed to fancy you such as she was, in situation and name, and home, presiding and blessing in the same spot, and only superior to her in being more highly valued!" i think this is a very touching and understandable sentiment (and would it be wrong for me to insert a more modern reading, that lady russell might've had feelings beyond friendship for lady elliot? 😏) but ultimately erroneous because anne is not her mother, and i believe this is where some of lady russell's more irrational objections to wentworth come from: perhaps that he is too manly and wild for the delicate flower that is anne (in her view), but in actuality anne totally wants to hitch a ride on that ship lmfao. this, too, is a very common and realistic conflict between a daughter and her mother-figure i think, and it does a disservice to the text to pretend that lady russell's objections were completely prudent - anne was persuaded for prudent reasons, being the self-possessed young woman she was, but lady russell had other, more shallow reasons in mind, as well!

austen spends a paragraph giving her well-deserved praise, "but she had prejudices on the side of ancestry" and "a value for rank and consequence, which blinded her a little to the faults of those who possessed them." this snobbery is also very understandable for a woman of her time and station imo, but we see the dangerous consequences of it later in the novel - she criticizes benwick for getting engaged to louisa before his mourning period for fanny is up, but at the same time impatiently says mr elliot should hurry up and propose to anne so she can become lady elliot already even though it's only been 7 months since his wife died.

maybe i also think people take wentworth's apologetic self-criticism at the end of the novel too seriously; he says his pride had prevented him from proposing again to anne 6 years ago after he made some of his fortune, but isn't this yet another example of the "hindsight is 20/20" phenomenon that permeates this book? think of how unreasonable and disrespectful it would've been for him to propose again to a woman who had firmly rejected him, with no renewed communication from her showing that she's interested. would he not be another mr. collins? he knows now that anne was not indifferent, that she truly believed her own prudent reasons for rejecting him and wasn't merely turning him down on the whims of lady russell, but he had no reason to suppose it then. i see people compare him negatively to mr darcy, who proposed again within a year of his first rejection whereas wentworth waited 8 - but mr darcy was given a very strong reason to hope that elizabeth now liked him thanks to lady catherine telling him that miss bennet refused to not potentially marry him. this would've been unthinkable for the elizabeth from some months ago, who had rejected his proposal so soundly! wentworth had no such evidence of anne being ready and willing to accept him now. i think his apology at the end of the novel is to show that he, at his core, is not really a grudge-bearing man and that he is more than willing to humble himself for the happiness of his loved one, just as anne is, further confirming that their temperaments are well-suited to each other - nothing more and nothing less. they're the words of a man now engaged to the love of his life, who wishes they'd had even more time together.

thanks in advance if you humored me and answered this long ask, and feel free to delete it if you'd rather not! 😁

I accept all critiques, whether I agree with them or not is another matter.

I disagree that Anne firmly rejected Wentworth and that her situation would be at all comparable to Elizabeth/Darcy or Elizabeth/Collins. She agreed to the engagement first, then was persuaded to break it off, which he knew, at which point she probably also told him that it was for his own good:

Had she not imagined herself consulting his good, even more than her own, she could hardly have given him up. The belief of being prudent, and self-denying, principally for his advantage, was her chief consolation, under the misery of a parting, a final parting; and every consolation was required, for she had to encounter all the additional pain of opinions, on his side, totally unconvinced and unbending, and of his feeling himself ill used by so forced a relinquishment. He had left the country in consequence.

So it wouldn't have been unreasonable for him to propose again, he knew she loved him. He resented her for giving him up and thought it showed she was weak:

He had not forgiven Anne Elliot. She had used him ill, deserted and disappointed him; and worse, she had shewn a feebleness of character in doing so, which his own decided, confident temper could not endure. She had given him up to oblige others. It had been the effect of over-persuasion. It had been weakness and timidity.

That is most definitely a grudge. Now eight years in the future, he doesn't know her feelings, but in Year 6 he had a pretty good idea. Also, I don't think Anne could write to him, he would have to have written to her (by the rules).

Now to Lady Russell, the full quote:

The only one among them, whose opposition of feeling could excite any serious anxiety was Lady Russell. Anne knew that Lady Russell must be suffering some pain in understanding and relinquishing Mr Elliot, and be making some struggles to become truly acquainted with, and do justice to Captain Wentworth. This however was what Lady Russell had now to do. She must learn to feel that she had been mistaken with regard to both; that she had been unfairly influenced by appearances in each; that because Captain Wentworth’s manners had not suited her own ideas, she had been too quick in suspecting them to indicate a character of dangerous impetuosity; and that because Mr Elliot’s manners had precisely pleased her in their propriety and correctness, their general politeness and suavity, she had been too quick in receiving them as the certain result of the most correct opinions and well-regulated mind. There was nothing less for Lady Russell to do, than to admit that she had been pretty completely wrong, and to take up a new set of opinions and of hopes.

Lady Russell was deceived in Mr. Elliot (and she should have known! they heard bad things about him before), but with Captain Wentworth, I think it's that hindsight is 20/20 thing. He turned out well. He could have been a Willoughby, she didn't know. It's hard not to see this decision in the light of Austen's other novels and agree that they just didn't know enough about Wentworth at the time. Also, Mr. Elliot was a bit blinding in that what he offered was exactly what Lady Russell thought that Anne rightly deserved.

Lady Russell's reasoning was prejudiced in favour of rank, she's kind of like Emma Woodhouse. Elizabeth Bennet also does a cognitive dissonance thing with someone she likes like Benwick/Mr. Elliot (forgives Wickham for clearly being mercenary about Miss King). But even with her prejudices, she was acting in what she thought was Anne's best interest. So I personally think she's not a bad person or wrong for what she did. I don't think we have a full book about how uncertain the lives of sailors can be for us not to sympathize with Lady Russell a bit. Even those last lines:

His profession was all that could ever make her friends wish that tenderness less, the dread of a future war all that could dim her sunshine. She gloried in being a sailor’s wife, but she must pay the tax of quick alarm for belonging to that profession which is, if possible, more distinguished in its domestic virtues than in its national importance.

As for Lady Russell conflating Anne with her mother, that is a valid take, but I think it expands on why Lady Russell tried so hard to keep Anne from entering into an imprudent marriage. Look what happened to Lady Elliot! She was not happily married and Lady Russell would have watched that happen. It's also perfectly natural to want Anne to be finally in a place of honour at Kellynch, given how much Lady R. has seen Anne neglected in that very house.

Anyway, I come off as pretty pro-Lady Russell because she gets a ton of shade online and I usually post against what I usually read.

Thanks for the discussion! Feel free to reply or send me an ask again. I will always give the compliment of rational opposition if it is extended to me.

[forfucksakesniall]

“Hearts on Hold” - a draft

a sequel to Car's Outside after part 4

𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Driver!Reader

Word Count: 1,692

A/N: This might be the only part for now. Not sure if I would continue it but I will be doing drabbles about it

The day you left was tough. It was a step towards your personal growth and independence. Yet, deep down, you wanted to be by his side throughout the entire winter break. Your mind was filled with conflicting thoughts.

Why did we leave? 

Because we need to rely on ourselves and not depend on others too much. 

So, does that mean our emotions stem from past issues?

No, not necessarily... maybe. I'm not really sure but that is why we're doing this.

You constantly debate whether you made the right decision or not. However, all doubts disappear when he sends you a text message. Each day, his words bring comfort and kindness. You don't respond much because thoughts of him make your mind race.

You don't intentionally ignore him, but there's a certain pleasure in having alone time, where you can fully immerse yourself in the moment. You've grown typical of being alone, and it feels like home. Some may see it as a lonely existence, but they can't grasp the experience of being solely on yourself.

You found yourself in the Czech Republic, a land rich in history and culture. It's a place that fosters personal growth and development. With its stunning architecture, like the iconic Prague Castle, and its vibrant arts scene. You felt like a princess, wandering through the city in search of love or simply a new adventure. 

As you sat at a charming café, savoring your evening coffee and engrossed in a book, it provided a familiar and comforting feeling.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed, breaking the tranquil atmosphere. You glanced down to see one of many of Lewis' daily text messages.

A day ago, 5:06 PM:

Lew

Good morning! You better manage to squeeze in some workouts today, haha. They already miss you - my niece and nephew. I miss you too, but you already knew that...

Yesterday, 5:44 PM:

Lew

Hey, just checking in to see if you're doing alright. Text me when you can. I miss you. I'll see you soon.

Today, 5:04 PM:

Lew

Still missing you, and Roscoe was looking for you.

Today, 5:10 PM:

Lew

Coachella was absolutely wild! Wish you were here. They kept asking if you were coming. I told them you were off doing something way more exciting. Maybe you'll join me next year, haha.

He persisted in texting you, as he could see that you had received and read his messages. Gosh, he deserves someone better, you thought, prompting you to finally respond.

You

Hey Lewis, sorry for not replying earlier. I'm actually doing really well. Sometimes, I do get a little lost, but that's what makes the adventure exciting, right? I won't tell my current location, haha. I hope I don't run into you here, following me around. I'll see you when I return to Monaco.

You reread the messages you sent, caught up in overthinking the entire situation. Just as you finish, he responds.

Lew

I'll see you back at home.

That familiar, tingling, warm feeling rushes back. You suddenly blush, feeling slightly embarrassed by your public display of emotions.

"Ughhh," you mutter to yourself.

Feeling compelled, you text him once again.

You

I miss you too

You quickly type and send it before locking your phone and slamming it onto the table. Frustrated with yourself, you feel like a silly schoolgirl texting her crush.

Lost in your embarrassment, you're suddenly interrupted as someone taps your shoulder. Your heart starts pounding, echoing in your ears.

You slowly turn around and find yourself face-to-face with none other than Mick Schumacher.

"Mick! W-what brings you here?" you stammer, taken aback by his sudden appearance. You were seated outside a café, with only a wooden fence separating you from the bustling street. Somehow, he still noticed you sitting there while riding his bike.

"Oh, umm... I was giving my friends a tour around Europe, and then I saw you sitting here... I should ask what you're up to," he explains a hint of curiosity in his voice.

You giggle, finding him endearingly cute. You and Mick are friends, or at least colleagues working for the same team. You often have chats and occasionally hang out after training, but you wouldn't say you're incredibly close.

"Yeah, well, it's a long story. In short, I'm on a little adventure for myself, taking a break from everything and just trying to relax. It's really nice to see a familiar face," you reply, feeling a sense of comfort.

"I know, right? Who would have thought?" he responds, sharing your amusement.

"Right?" you giggle in response.

"I should get going. It's great to see you again. I'll catch you at the factory then?" he suggests.

"Yeah, definitely!" you affirm with a smile.

He waves goodbye and starts pedaling away, leaving you with a mix of excitement and warmth in your heart.

✧*̥˚ Timeskip *̥˚✧

Weeks had passed, and it felt like an eternity. Finally, you arrived in Monaco, your home. You had managed to keep a low profile at the airport, although a few people still recognized you. The gossip pages had already spread the word about your return. You had considered texting Lewis, but it seemed unnecessary now that the Instagram gossip pages had made the announcement.

Now, you were in your cozy apartment, a place you called home. It felt warm and comforting, and it was all yours.

During your soul-searching journey, you had disabled all the apps that connected you to the outside world - Instagram, Twitter, emails, and more. Now, you decided to open them again, and your phone buzzed incessantly with notifications. Choosing to mute it, you placed it under your pillow.

"Some people sure missed me," you tell to yourself, looking around the house to find your laptop. It was exactly where you had left it, in the living room.

You opened your emails on the laptop instead and saw several team-related messages about an upcoming meeting. You stared at them for a while, realizing it was time to return to work and face reality.

A tinge of sadness and nervousness crept over you, but you pushed any negative thoughts aside. You didn't want to dwell on the idea that they might not want you or anything pessimistic. It was time to move forward.

A knock interrupts your thoughts, causing a small jolt of surprise.

"Why do people keep scaring me?" you mutter to yourself.

The knocking persists, growing slightly louder.

"I'm coming!" you call out.

Excitement builds within you as you jog to the door, eagerly unlocking and swinging it open without hesitation.

"Hey,"

"Hey..." you respond, your tone revealing a lack of enthusiasm.

"Well, that sounds like you weren't happy to see me," the coach remarks.

"Because I wasn't," you reply, adding a touch of sarcasm to your voice.

He was your performance coach, and truthfully, you were never thrilled to see him. His presence meant returning to rigorous training. You had been working together for a year now, and while there was still a connection, you had been avoiding it since last year due to past issues. 

However, you had undergone a transformation and were now a different person.

"Are you ready to get back out there?" the coach asks.

You gaze at him, newfound determination shining in your eyes.

"Hell yeah," you declare, a wide grin spreading across your face.

Throughout the day, you engaged in scheduling and planning, a common practice among Formula 1 drivers and their performance coaches. You both discussed training sessions, physical workouts, and practice sessions to optimize performance on and off the track. 

Despite feeling exhausted from the earlier flight, the overwhelming flood of missed notifications, and the planning for upcoming races, your determination remained steady.

As the evening grew late, the coach suggested that both of you grab a meal together. You ventured out and decided to go to "La Marée," a renowned eatery in Monaco. 

Stepping out of the car, a swarm of people immediately surrounded you. Cameras flashed, videos recorded, and requests for autographs came from all directions. It was the familiar scene you had missed—the support and admiration from the fans, which warmed your heart. With a wave of gratitude, you bid them farewell and entered the restaurant.

And there he was once more, Mick Schumacher, but this time accompanied by Toto and Susie Wolff. You greeted them warmly and approached closer.

"You've got to stop following me, man. It's becoming quite obvious," you playfully remarked to Mick.

"I could say the same to you!" Mick replied with a grin.

"Well, well, it seems like you two have been keeping tabs on each other," Toto chimed in, joining the conversation.

"Yeah, it certainly seems that way," you said, winking at Mick as he reciprocated. "So, are you guys heading out or...?" you inquired, curious about their plans.

"Yeah, we were just discussing... contracts," Mick added.

Contracts? Already? Why haven't they mentioned anything to me... you wondered, feeling a bit surprised.

Toto's hand gently squeezed your shoulder. "If you checked your emails once in a while, you would have known about yours already," he reassured you.

A sigh of relief escaped you. Thank goodness for that, you thought, realizing you had left your phone under your pillow and hadn't retrieved it before leaving with your coach.

"I had such a great vacation that it completely slipped my mind," you laughed awkwardly.

"We'll be expecting to see you at the factory, alright? We need everyone there," Toto emphasized the importance of your presence.

Then it hit you—Lewis. Where was he? You still haven't texted him.

After conversing for a while, you and your coach went to eat.

You enjoyed a pleasant dinner together before finally parting after arriving at your apartment.

Waving him goodbye, you made your way upstairs to your apartment. As you opened the door, you noticed that the living room was illuminated. Have you forgotten to turn off the lights? Perhaps your coach had left them on.

As you approached to switch off the lights, you froze. There, laying on your couch, was someone unexpected.

It was Lewis.

Lewis Hamilton had fallen asleep, patiently waiting for your return home.

[thequietkid-moonie]

Honestly, lately I like Reverse 1999 story better then HSR. I still like HSR, but I'm so tired of the sus characters turning up to be misunderstood. The previous quest (that I watch playtrough, since I don't have time to play), is kind of mid to me. Yet, with Reverse 1999 I felt like I was riding on the wild roller coaster.

Not only that but Reverse 1999 characters designs are way more creative, and doesn't feel copy and paste. And unlike *cough* Genshin *cough* Bluepoch does respects characters culture by giving them the skin colour that represents their nationality.

Of course this my personal opinion. Which storytelling do you prefer?

Uhuhuhu my lord! You have awaken and internally debate inside of me! I been thinking about this almost all day! And this post is goint to be loooong so be ready

Okay so, I can't choose between Reverse 1999 and Honkai Star Rail, I love both way too much and I feel like both does go in diferent ways

I think that one of the biggest diferences between the storytelling is that hoyoverse in general is incredibly good at creating interesting and captivating stories but doesn't really have idea of how to tell them, wich lead then to sin of pretentious and profound while in Reverse 1999 takes time to tell you the story, it introduces you and immerses you in its world in a pretty natural way and treats you like Vertin herself, letting you know the important things as the story goes on (with some exceptions just to make the suspense grow)

I feel like the story of r1999 is much more mature and goes for a more solid rute, like it really focus on the world and conflicts have created and everything goes around that same conflict, one way or another (you can even see it in the chapter of Vertin's past, everything has to be with the storm! Even the debate about Vertin's actions is indirectly related to the storm), except for the stories of the events, those stories can be quite slow at times since but still always has something to contribute to the lore

Also, one of the biggest diferences that i personally see is that Bluepoch thinks a lot on the player and tries to make the experience as enjoyable as posible while Hoyoverse things more on money rather than the player

I absolutely love HSR story, I played the penacony story as it was being released and I was on the edge to know what was going to happen but I do admit that the whole story was a "I do can tell you the details, but I dont want 😼", there was so much interesting characters that were just a waste, it feels like everything it's halfway through because they tries to be misterious and the conclusion is quite rushed and somewhat poorly done, but aside from that the rest of the story is pretty decent

Also, one of the biggest diferences is the text, I think HSR doesn't have an awful amount of text as Genshin but still there are things that just they are left over at times. I think Reverse 1999 gives npc a better treatment than HSR and specially Genshin, in r1999 the npcs mainly purpose is to naturaly tell you about the place you are, to teach you in what context you are and let you get inmerse in the story and makes it pretty well! It feels quite natural and it doesn't become tiring with an awful amount of inecesary text (like in Genshin), besides the story doesn't treat you like an idiot and explain something over and over again

Also, the desings I also things are incredibly creative but r1999 has the advantage of being of diferent historical periods and the same story tells you that arcanist aren't always human so that open a good oportunity to get creative! Still, I think Bluepoch is incredibly creative

Im not going to talk about Genshin natlan characters, I still think that Genshin developers worry more about money than the player so if making white characters is what make then win more good for them I guess 🤷🏻

While HSR characters are an interesting case, they either come up with incredibly interesting and unique desing or go back to the woman with the outfit with the chinese like base desing

[downbadreading]

Ateez fic recs

some of this is mature themed so MDNI!

first of all, there's a lot more and i will edit it time by time! thanks for the authors for writing such a great fic that make me enjoy reading so muchh

my main fic recs is here!

THE LEGENDARY FIC IS MIST OF CELESTE BY @hongism (m)

-i've been dying to do this i always think whenever i do my own fic recs this fic MUST be on the very top because it's insane i'm telling you who never heard of moc???

OT8 / ateez x reader

SUBTLE VARIATIONS OF HEARTBREAK by @nonclassyparty (m)

please read this. I am begging. the heartbreak i feel for each chapter??? INSANE. MUST READ AND REREAD.

the answer by @berryunho (m)

A CULT. A HOT CULT LEADER YET I AM ONE THE VERGE TO CRY BECAUSE HOW GOOD IT IS.

into the aurora by @honeyhotteoks (m)

this is so cute. super cute. i'm having emotional attach. btw part 2 is coming soon so if you're done with the first part, stay tuned! it's a poly ateez fics!

like the moon by @sunmoonjune

poly ateez x female oc. i love this. i love bug. i want to protect her so badly i will kill for her. what i really like about this fic is it's so wholesome. read this and you will understand, I SWEAR.

Seonghwa

love is gone by @ateezmakemeweep (m)

i have no words. it's not yet done, but i really love this story. there's another must read story SO PLEASE CHECK THE MASTERLIST

read for me by @pirateprincessblog (m)

(fem reader x best friend's father) this one heheheh it's so fucking hot like you don't get it it's just another tier i'm kicking the ceiling jaw on the floor while reading it.

Wallflower by @tenelkadjowrites

This is not just a sexual thing between an officemate okay it's more than that because i'm so invested on this story. mc and nerdy hwa is so cute and sexy when it come to the time there's four part of this fic!

Accidental Destiny by @hoonieversed (crying throwing up because this blog has been deactivated)

based on how to train your dragon and YEAH IT'S TOOTHLESS HWA (shifter) with healer reader i love the concept

Hongjoong

paradise lost by @setsugekka (m)

i will cry. this fic is so special to me because it changes my reading style and that's how good it is. i remember all the reread session i did before this because I AM OBSESSED.

bla bla bla by @yoongiseesawmp3 (m)

Stylist reader x idol hongjoong their relationship make me wanna cry it's sooooooo good

game of thrones au by @wordstro (m) eventually i think

I'm a sucker for got. even for hod. a fic starring my favourite group with my favourite series? i'm super duper in. there's one part leave from this fic, it contains four part! (and i'm not ready for the ending yet actually)

yunho

the meaning of 'jeong' by @hwaightme

ANYONE JUST KICK ME THIS IS SO URHHHHHH HOW DO I SAY THIS YOU MUST READ IT FIRST AND THEN WELCOME TO A ROLLERCOASTE RIDE OF EMOTIONS

yeosang

laces by @ttalgiwooyu (M)

This makes me blush for soooo long i wanna die. and read it again.

san

ginger and cinnamon tea by @cheollipop (m)

THIS ONE IS SUPER CUTE. AND HOT sick san and caring partner (along with woo's nonsense idea) this is a must read!

2 a.m. || Choi San by @mingigoo (m)

where do i start? idol san with make up artis reader is so hot.

in this place, full of lies: series masterlist by @wordstro (m)

i'm on my knees. the impact this series have on me. the fact i read it on one sitting and it takes hours. YET SO WORTH IT. I LOVE IT. SO MUCH. TO THE CORE. this one is post-apocalyptic world, and i love it.

Say what you want,be my people pleaser by @chokchokk

Still ongoing but the writer can have my kidney for this story I'm so invested you don't understand this is the falling with your fwb when he doesn't (yet idk it's my wild guess) and conflict here and there my I love this way tooooo much

mingi

series 2: sector one of itpfol by @wordstro

-this one is still ongoing and not yet started but it's on a same masterlist as the s1 with different y/n BUT IT'S ON ITPFOL UNIVERSE SO FIGHT ME

wooyoung

i wish you would by @multiland (M)

THIS? so good. so fucking cute and wholesome and hot and bother me so much. reader here is like frustrated with woo because he keep flirting that lead to a situation (NOT GONNA SPOIL IT BUT HOLY SHIT)

° good lil boy by @sorryimananti-romantic

I read this fic at 3 in the morning. By the time I'm finished with it, it's nearly 4 (or past already) and I can't sleep because this fic is so super duper good. Prince wooyoung and princess y/n (different continent they're not related!!!) And I love their banter so much

jongho

PLEASE SUGGEST ME SOME

multi member

starring roles by @nonclassyparty (san and mingi) (m)

BIG CLAP FOR THIS ONE. you know this is more y/n centered like i couldn't care less with who she ended up with i want her to be happy and be her. i root for her and i will kick anyone who mess with her on their ass. (i do care ofc but you know what i mean y/n is everything for me!)

not all that glitter is gold by @the7thcrow (seonghwa, san, wooyoung and reader) (m)

a great storyline. a super duper great one. i can go on days about this fic and the backstory of each of them. IT'S INSANE! eventually poly!

[ilikereadingactually]

The Archive Undying

The Archive Undying by Emma Mieko Candon

WOW, this is a ride, in so many ways. i really dig sff that drops me in without explanations and lets me learn the world through context, and i adore a book that really asks me to do a lot of thinking and piecing together and interpreting subtleties. i'm a go-with-the-flow reader, i don't really go back to look again at anything or look up words as i read, i trust the narrative to make sense eventually. this book satisfies and rewards all of that!! i found it a little denser than is ideal for me, but dense in that lush, humid way where you're a little out of breath all the time. i don't think i fully have a grasp on the world or the nuances of the plot, which makes it feel pleasantly surreal and makes me really excited for the next book.

i do feel fully invested in and in love with the main characters, which makes the whole thing work for me. Sunai is such a mensch!!! Veyadi tries hard and loves with ragged edges! everyone is a personality and a delight even when they're deceiving each other and switching sides and screwing up and hating themselves, and i think it's because Sunai's pov is so tender and generous. he's a big mess, and is willing to accept and forgive the messiness of the people he loves; how could he, wounded as he is, expect anyone else to be flawless? it makes me love him, and makes me love everyone who loves him.

other highlights for me are the complexities of personhood presented here: there are corrupted AI gods and humans damaged by their interfaces, there are intelligences within intelligences and fragments of being and surprising mergers of thought and self. it's like a political conflict happening inside a funhouse, with pleasingly incomplete religious underpinnings that put me in mind of A Psalm for the Wild-Built, except it's nothing like that book at all in tone or temperament. also, mlm main characters, which seems fairly rare still in this kind of epic speculative fiction, plus interesting gender things going on in general! also also, i'm such a sucker for Asian-based sff worlds, and this one has that feel: some East Asian, some Southeast, some South, flavoring the names and the language and the food and the feel without any one-to-one mapping of cultures in this book onto cultures in the real world.

the deets

how i read it: an e-galley through NetGalley, from the elusive Tor, my current fave publisher just pumping out bangers all the time. upon getting access to this i felt the way you do when a cat chooses to sniff your hand.

try this if you: like to float and be carried by beautiful prose in a vast and deep moving landscape you can never see all of at once, enjoy queers making bad choices for good reasons, dig a book where the relationships are varied and interesting and often sexual without any of the usual "romantic" tropes, have feelings about questions of selfhood, or understand revenge but prefer mercy.

maybe not for you if: you get very frustrated by books that move fast without explaining much, and books that are purposefully playing with mysterious perspectives and voices. this book does not show its cards, and i love that but i know it can be a dealbreaker for some.

some lines i really liked: this is a loooong book so i picked out a few.

It is excruciating to behold. Sunai understands that they know each other. He and Imaru first met Ruhi when he and she were still running together, and Imaru brought Ruhi's letter to Ghamor only a couple of months ago. None of that mitigates the bodily shock of seeing them together. Talking. The panicked realization that they could talk to each other about him--that they have likely already done this--compels Sunai to interrupt.

...

He never imagined that Ruhi might already have chosen to do the damnable thing himself. It makes him feel a certain fuck of a way.

...

"It killed the sentinel-fowl," says Veyadi.

By the counter, Imaru stills. "What?"

"I killed the sentinel-fowl," Sunai clarifies.

"That isn't explaining," says Jin. "What do you mean you killed it? Lay it out plain for those of us who aren't fondling each other's neurons."

pub date: June 27, 2023!

[spookyserenades]

Just finished reading chapter 16 AND HONEY; I AM UNDONE. The Seokjin fluff we got was precious and absolutely delicious. I ate that shit up like it was a five-course meal, lol. Seokjin just announcing their relationship to the world?? Possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever read, along with the way he was so touchy and clingy. Finally able to indulge in his wants!! My poor heart!!

Taehyung felt so distant in this chapter, and it breaks my heart! Especially with that other woman at the club 😤😤 who you talkin to, Pookie?? I miss him.. and I can only hope he isn’t trying to get over his obvious feelings for the MC with someone else; I won’t be able to handle that angst!!

But seriously, that ending felt so unexpected. I thought I could finally rest easy after the previous cliffhanger from chapter 15, but nope, here you go again! It’s incredible how well you are able to build up suspense within your work. I am captivated each time and desperate for more! I can only imagine how much work you put into each chapter; writing 20k nearly each time, + editing is really impressive! It flows well, and each detail you put into your work shows the way the relationships between everyone seem to grow. Truly amazing!! I remember reading the first chapter of Trouvaille when it came out, and I’m just so happy that romantic relationships are finally developing. It’s so rewarding :)

Sorry for the long ass ramble. Love your work and take care~ <33

-M

HEHEH!!! I hope you enjoyed the wild ride!!! OOF There's nothing better than romantic Seokjin, I KNOW he'd be the best boyfriend ever 🥺 He's also turning into a goofball he's so happy he can love up on her,... All of the touchiness, the clinginess god I wish I was Y/N.

Ah... Tae 😭 I smell some angst coming up surrounding him, sorry to my Tae bear stans in advance 😭 Eventually things will end up working out in the end, but there has to be some rocky conflict in order to keep things balanced and zesty. I miss him too 😭 I can't believe he had the courage (or balls) to flirt with another girl in that club...

Stopppp you're too sweet, M! 🥺 Honestly I don't set out to write so much each month, but as I go, I keep getting new ideas and oops suddenly its 20k 💀 I'm so happy that you think it's flowing well, that's one of the things I worry about, so thank you for telling me 💜💜💜 AH I love how close they're all getting, even the friendships like Jin/Hoseok and Joon/Jeongguk 🥰 EEE I can't believe you've been here since the beginning, I'm honored 🥺 We're on quite the journey together and I'm so glad you're here with me! Sending you so much love and thank you for reading and writing me a lovely message 💕

[headspacedad]

One Piece: ep 7-8 spoilers

completely recommend this series! Go watch it and have fun

I was going to finish the show last night but Sam came and got me and you don't tell a bunny no when he says its time for bed. So!

watched these last two episodes together so Imma review them together.

The series really did a great job of raising the stakes and making you care about the outcome. I was invested in seeing what happened with Luffy's grandfather and just as invested in seeing Arlo get his fishy ass kicked. They wound the tension in both tight without making it uncomfortable for me to sit through to the completion and I never felt like I needed to jump ahead to make sure things worked out so I got to just sit and enjoy the entire ride.

God. I miss being able to trust series or movies to fulfill their ending in a satisfying way that wouldn't leave me feeling disappointed.

But this one did and it had built the story and treated the characters well enough previously that I felt safe just letting myself enjoy the story. And it paid me off for that beautifully.

The last long running manga I was involved in reading was Naruto and let me just tell you what a breath of fresh air it was seeing the female lead treated so well in One Piece. Nami got to be flawed and human and also noble and brave and true. She got to ask for help but not because she was weak but because she'd been betrayed and what she had pulled off was cheated away from her. I enjoyed that we got to learn about her from her sister and then that her and her sister were the first to reconcile. Nami's backstory was heartbreaking and she was so easy to sympathize with as a character as well as her actions. I also appreciated that she didn't have to 'make up' for her past actions. She was simply accepted and welcomed back.

I enjoyed the two final fights. The fight with Grandpa was brutal emotionally and, as someone who's father was one of those fuckers who believed in 'toughen you up 'love' via being a nightmare' - I was surprised that I still liked the grandfather at the end. But I did. Because he backed off even after he'd - physically - won. The hint about Gold Roger with that laugh was wild though. I liked Koby and the Blond guy standing up to his orders, Koby because they were wrong and the Blond guy because he had Koby's back. I really hope we get to see more of them growing and getting better together in later seasons.

The fight with the fish people was violent and well done. Everyone got to shine, even Ussop and I liked the banter between Sanji and Zoro. Also Luffy using his brains to realize he couldn't physically beat Arlo but he could bring down the house around him was new and I liked the sideways approach. Arlo was a conflict of a villain for me. I understood exactly where he was coming from and got why he was the way he was in response. But he was so cruel and determined to burn half the universe down that I couldn't give him any sympathy or hope he 'learned better'. I just wanted him removed entirely from the story, hopefully in a violent and satisfactory kind of way. And the story gave me that.

The payoff at the end of the story was top notch! It didn't cut and run too soon, it really let us sit and enjoy our victory. Shanks and team was a surprise and very heartening and I love who brought them the news. Seeing Kayla spot Ussop was perfect. The pledge with their feet at the end where it flashed back to the kids saying their dreams was perfect. And Koby and Blondie getting to get specialized training was as well. It was nice to be able to soak in the good feelings of the win at the end of the ride and I'm even kind of interested in Clown boy and Pink lady teaming up to be double flamboyant in later seasons.

On the the Line!

Double thumbs up recommendation for the series. Had fun. Will watch again soon just to enjoy everything I might have missed (and to bump Netflix viewing numbers)

[leam1983]

On Eureka Moments

There is one tiny, tiny plus-side to insomnia: the epiphanies you get when you finally manage to catch a few winks.

So, I finish my shift, clock out, term out of my Linux resources and crash into bed before supper gets going. Sarah's not tired enough to join in, but Walt is definitely leaning on his concern for me and joins in. We spoon in the way I like and soon enough, even though it takes me a while, I'm gone. Poof.

It's not long, mind you - an hour and some change before we have to cook dinner - but it's enough to strip me of that sense of distance I mentioned, earlier. Dots start to connect, and what's really fucking weird for me is that I don't so much start dreaming as I'd say I sandboxed while asleep.

It felt a little like waking up without actually waking up. I was in the same posture I'd fallen asleep in, locked in thanks to Walt's body weight and aware of the fact that I was actually in REM sleep, but the room had this hyper-vivid texture that it only gets when my brain goes hog-wild at the end of an insomnia episode. I couldn't make out anything out of the noises coming from the living room, as speech and sound were as distorted as they usually are in my dreams. What still made sense, however, were my own thoughts.

This is a longboi, folks. Clicky if you dare.

I started going over the root causes of my insomnia, starting with the fact that I had to play IT Goon for six small dealerships staffed with reticent, tech-adverse fuddy duddies and dudebros who really just wanted something to run their CRM resources and the occasional instance of Google Chrome. I have to field everything from keyboards no longer working to printers going on the fritz to login credentials with big dealerships' own Finance portals no longer being valid - all of it while keeping an eye on our Linux-using Call Centre employees, listening in on calls, taking briefs from our Marketing department (basically one gal plus Walt) and occasionally physically schlepping campaign material - albeit with some help - because most manufacturers are a bit averse to the idea of dealerships passing resources around externally.

Simplified, that gives me two large task groups:

Network Admin

The Nuclear Football, as I call my laptop that's intermittently crammed with marketing-level campaign plans that dealerships treat like they're handing us a hydrogen bomb. That mostly involves carrying it to the dealerships involved, giving it network access, transferring the relevant files and walking the staff through their resources.

I only really administer the Call Center stuff, and anything Network Admin might be involved, it doesn't drive me as stir-crazy as reassuring a bunch of Boomers and non-tech-savvy Millennials that we do, indeed, have their parent company's provided resources on-hand.

That part, and everything related to their fucking PC installs, I could do remotely - either with Microsoft Azure or Windows Server Edition 20XX.

I'm sleeping on three of my most important certifications because the people I work for are too risk-averse to realize we could just drop everything on a remote server and walk them through everything with a video call or two. Everything short of physical hardware failure, I can handle or control using a Windows Server hub and the most wonderful tool known to man, which is known as the Fucking Group Policy Editor. Pair that with a few hires we keep in-house at each dealership, and I could set things up so I never need to leave my home office ever again.

Ever. Again.

No scheduling conflicts, no waffling about because my Paratransport ride is late, no depending on Walt or Sarah when the short bus isn't convenient or fast enough.

There's just one hitch - money. I can set up a would-be master server and rope every single of our dealerships and every single of their PC installs under a single server's wing within a week or two, give or take a few days for unplanned events. Even simpler, I could do the same with Azure. Option 1 requires a wee bit more cash on the Infrastructure part but could mostly be one-and-done if we're willing to be smart about it, Option 2 requires tossing money at Microsoft on a monthly basis, at no extra power cost or space management worries for us.

Then, there's the unavoidable warts and blemishes. I'd need to image everyone's workstations across our dealerships, format their entire fleet and then rebuild everything using these images and WSE's Deployment Tools. I can't do this on weekdays, these guys have promos to run - and there's weekends where I can't do it either. Our Mercedes joint is expecting visitors by Canada Day, for instance. It's time-consuming, I'd need to plan it out with them and any time I spend setting up someone's server-based clone of their previous Windows install is time I can't spend doing anything else.

Ergo, that needs to happen during a massive holiday. The only one that fits the bill is Christmas.

Then, there's the fact that I need some leeway now. I need to go back to a decent sleep schedule starting yesterday. I can't just hold on, grit my teeth and expect to hold on for six months of this; I'll keel over before Halloween if nothing changes.

But, the fun thing with luxury dealerships is that they tend to give themselves off-weeks when sales ramp down seasonally. That includes mid-July.

I wake up with a start and, barely lucid, ring up our Mercedes and Audi clients. Confirmed: they're aiming for a ramp-down of their operations in mid-July. I briefly expose my plans, set up a Web meeting, and spend the last twenty minutes of what should've been my nap explaining to two befuddled Sales Directors that I'm about to propose gaining complete control over their infrastructure, with the included benefit of a drag-and-drop common directory where I'd simply organize promo materials as we obtain them. I could even use it to deliver patches that come to us in binaries, as a few do apply. Their on-site guys could handle printer clogs or dying USB ports, I'd take care of and automate most of everything that's software-based.

And, what I didn't tell them, is that I'd even be able to finally restrict Sales reps from unnecessary account privileges, which could make the occasional case of disciplinary action even more occasional. You can't loaf around at work watching PornHub on the job if there's a rule in place that specifically includes it in a list of banned addresses and IP ranges...

I know how it sounds - it's basic fucking barebones IT stuff, it's the fucking bedrock of Network Admin, maybe one or two rungs above CompTIA resources - but you'd be surprised at how many dealerships have exactly zero administration. They don't see the need; they're car guys with maybe one or two Web apps of choice, if any! As to why I didn't think of it earlier, it's mostly because it's not technically my job. Walt, Sarah and I distribute and manage promotional material and help dealerships to keep up with user retention and analytics. We do everything a Sales Director should do, except most Sales Directors are usually tied up with their local Karens complaining about the Service department's mechanics.

So what if we gave them an infrastructure? What if we air-gapped it, made it easily reproducible and deployable, and made it so working with us only means looking at a slightly different Windows login screen, before starting your workday?

If this works, we'll expand our services and solve most of my problems. Salesguy McGee's computer ain't worth shit? No prob, just clone his install, nuke the base, reinstall from the clone and spend a few minutes mothering it to make sure you haven't imported previously-observed bugs.

I mentioned Azure, but I know our guys won't want to contribute to a cloud budget. Again, they're tech-averse and think using the cloud means you're at the mercy of a Redmond or Seattle-based server outage. Psychologically, they'll want the comfort of their own spinning rust and SSDs. If I've got that WSE server I mentioned, it's no skin off my teeth.

So, while Walt was trying to follow along, I tried for my most diplomatic cough imaginable.

"I'd, uh, need another 20K for our IT budget. Six of 'em would go for a WSL license, the rest would go for maybe two extra 2U units over at the office."

I thought Walt would protest, but he just gave me a level look. "Will that help you sleep?"

I shrugged. "At the end of a somewhat lengthy process, sure. Relief's going to count for something, though, and I'm pretty much guaranteed to sleep like a baby tonight if you approve."

Boss Walt reacted first, by giving me a shoulder clasp. "Purchase approved. You've got our card, make it happen starting Monday."

Then followed Boyfriend Walt, who pulled me into a hug. "You're going to have to walk me through this, though - this is black magic to me."

Sarah, who'd caught wind of my WSE for Dummies talk, stopped by before heading into the kitchen. "He means he wants to be Emperor Palpatine, hon," she joked. "Ultimate power, Force lightning, no idiots being so much as able to install unsigned software on their machines, lockable USB ports - the works. You're the only one who'd need to keep visiting our guys in-person. The real challenge is going to involve letting a bunch of unaffiliated dealerships share the same basic server architecture, and even that's not too complicated."

I parted with a frayed, and possibly half-mad little laugh. "Holy shit, I'm gonna sleep tonight!"

Sometimes, one of the perks of insomnia is being able to take a few steps away from your professional bugbears and your clients' weirdo and inefficient methodology - and remembering the skillsets you actually paid for.

[t-u-i-t-c]

Hello! It's your secret valentine checking in again. I remember seeing you talk about Reiwa being your favorite era of Sentai. Do you have a personal ranking of Reiwa Sentais? As someone who's trying to get back into the genre, I'd love to learn what you think of each series. :-)

Hello! I don't actually know if I can really say that Reiwa is my favorite era of Sentai, as there's only a handful of them so far and only two of them really have my whole heart (King-Ohger and BoonBoomger) but that may change in the future. Right now, I tend to favor those two and Heisei Sentai (I have watched a lot of Heisei and have ones that I like more than others but you're asking about Reiwa so I'll stay on topic). You may be thinking of when I said I was a Reiwa girl for Kamen Rider, but I'll tell you about the Reiwa Sentai anyways. Please note that I watched some of these a while ago so I can't really go too in depth off of the top of my head.

My favorites are King-Ohger and BoonBoomger. I can't definitively place BoonBoomger until it's finished, but I feel as though I like it just as much if not more than King-Ohger (I really have always been a lover of car Sentai).

King-Ohger has my favorite guy in Super Sentai, Racules, so it will always be very special to me. I'm a big fan of Sentai that have a lot of lore and world-building and King-Ohger has that. There's a lot of threads sewn through it that really make it worth watching and make the experience a wild ride. (I talked about it more here)

BoonBoomger is the series that I've giffed the most for, having posted 435 sets so far (not including multi series sets/crossover sets). I talk about it a lot on my blog and have a lot of thoughts about it. It's a simple premise and feels very much like a standard Sentai, but there's just something about it that I really like. I think that it's really the characters and their relationships with each other. Even with the Hashiliens, there's a lot of thought put into their relationships and the individual characters, and I feel as though I relate to some of the characters in a way that I don't with other characters. I could really talk about BoonBoomger forever, but just know it's quite fun. Simply, it's a car Sentai made up of people that are grabbing their own wheels that fight against a space mafia family that uses screams and misery as fuel, and terrorize the universe. Not everyone's cup of tea but it certainly is mine.

Zenkaiger got me into Sentai in the first place with Stacy, who I still adore greatly. The team is very fun and looking back after watching previous Sentai, I think there's a lot of nice little tributes to them. There's different worlds, pirates, robots, and just a lot of love.

Donbrothers was the first Sentai I watched as it aired from start to finish, and I feel like I had a lot of fun watching it. I find the characters to be interesting and the dynamics are solid. I must say that it does suffer from having a lot of loose threads and unanswered questions, but it does have Don Momotaro. I have conflicting feelings about Donbrothers but I can't say it's not close to my heart.

Kiramager was my third Sentai and I watched it to watch the Zenkaiger vs. Kiramager crossover which was set to be released around that time. Kiramager is really cute with a nice cast of characters and beautiful suits. There's lots of lore, betrayal, creativity, and it's quite silly at times. More of a lighthearted Sentai that's nice to pass the time or when you want something light. (Very old but here's the thoughts I wrote when I finished Kiramager in 2022)

I tried to be brief, but if you have any more questions feel free to ask :)

[trixcuomo]

The Blood Elf Bachelor

Meanwhile at Coco's goblin therapy clinic...

The dashing redhead just had to stroll into my office. Of all the clinics in all of Bilgewater, why did he have to come to see me?

You have to understand, Lord Sunthraze Sunthraze, that is, the double Sunthraze heir, is my step sister's ex and the biggest mistake she ever made. Not because he is slightly an asshole. Not because he's a smartmouth or conceited. Lotsa male elves fall into that sorry golden slop bucket. It's because she missed out on that same swaggering, full-of-himself jackass. He's just as awful as she is, really. They've been repellin' each other, but they honestly need each other so much.

And, as Trixany's savvy Goblin step sista, I have to tell you--Sunthraze is loaded as well. Like, crazy rich Blood Elf loaded! Ever since the Third War, he came into stupid money, like stupid, the Scourge ate the rest of your relatives and half the town, and it's all been passed down to you money. Arthas practically blessed this poor boy on the head with Frostmourne.

Plus, he has the Hawkstrider ranch. Hawkstrider stock has skyrocketed since monohorns went extinct in Quel'thalas, after the conflict.

Only those two refuse to lay down their weapons, their awful personalities, and see sense. She wants fortune and fame, he has at least half that. Y'all could figure out the rest--come on, people!

Put it this way. Their crazy, coocoo bananas marriage would've been the one Haris Pilton Entertainment Corp reality show that should've been made. Entertaining, egregious, endearing, effed up, all the best E words.

"Well! It's so funny seeing you here!" He said, just beaming as he strolled into my office. Three-piece phoenix red suit. Platinum pinky ring. Frilly sleeves. Gilded, two-inch heels on his scarlet riding boots. A Rivendell inspired man-tiara, made by elves not even in this universe. I kid you not.

"Well, I work here. My name's on the side of the building. Goblin Airborne Clinic, 64th Regiment."

"I'd say you're on the directory, near the buzzer to get in."

Ass. I didn't say that, though. "Look, can I help you?"

"What I meant was, I was looking for an um, well... therapist-sort. And here you are! You just happen to be Trixany's best friend, too. Her closest confidant. You two are always together, aren't you? Happy coincidence!"

"I'm her sister."

"You... wait." His eyes glazed over.

Fun to watch him suffer due to his own prejudices. But then I finally nudged him off the hook. "Step sista, by marriage? My goblin father married her Blood Elf mother. That was after we were born. We met as teenagers."

"Hrmm..."

"Hrm?"

"So if. If I were to go through with... I'd be related to goblins."

"Go through with what?"

He sat down and looked half-wild. His eyes were bright, he gripped the chair arms until his knuckles went white.

Then, through clenched teeth, "I've got to do this. I just have to! She's been driving me crazy all these years!"

Do? I started to suspect what. I sighed, handed him a confidentiality agreement that he signed, then I flipped it around and signed it, too. Stamped it, filed it.

"Go on, get it off your chest."

"This year, my new year's resolution is to finally marry your sister!!"

"Ho boy." I had to take that in. It took a while. "She doesn't know? It doesn't work like that; you have to ask her, first."

"I will ask her first in hell! Do you know what she'd do to me if I ever asked her outright? Or attempted to court her in some straightforward fashion? Again?! Oh no, that is just what she wants! To drag me through it. I need a strategy, something I've never tried before. And you're going to help me. I signed the paper, didn't I? And, I paid. At the front desk! I paid a ransom, a king's ransom for your unique consult."

I blinked. I stared.

"Well?"

"May I ask, if you despise dealing with my sista so much, why do you want to marry her?"

"That would take a whole other session to explain but I... Well. We survived a war together, in Outland." He paused, his tone softened, "I think she's lovely. I truly miss her. And, I suppose I hurt her. Or, I hurt her after she hurt me... Anyway, I'd like another chance. A last chance. Even if I have to hogtie her and throw her over the pommel of my Thalassian Charger to make her at least hear me out!" He chewed his nails, looking feral again, "Lady Liadrin also has a spare cell down at the garrison, if need be. I could get the key..."

That went so well till the end there. Blood Knights freak me out, man.

"Look. I will take your money and betray my sista on one condition, cause we could use the ratings... You need to make this the funniest, craziest thing we have eva done here, on Team Trixany."

Sunthraze winked right at the camera, smized straight down the lens. Master fourth-wall breaking bastard that he is. Then he shrugged slightly, relaxed. Began to undo his silk tie, unbutton his shirt collar. "I can uh, make it spicy, too."

I folded my green hands ontop of my desk, "And otha than the ratings, I guess I just want you to take her far, far away from me. At least for a while. I would like a peaceful, drama-free year, myself. A year free of Haris Pilton and Night Elf himbos. I really have been dreaming of it. Maybe it could even become my show after a while. Team Coco! Can you do that?"

Sunthraze was busy flouncing his long, blood-red hair, flirting with the camera.

Eh, I didn't stop him. It's a thousand gold an hour for a goblin airborne consult, and as I said before, this redheaded mook is loaded!

[minyboy]

Let There Be War (Halloween Monster “Roleplay” 4) Part 21

No time to revel in this new-found victory. I have to find my horse. What is wrong with me? I dash towards the neighing sounds. My silent commands go unheard, typical demon horse. The ground beneath me shifts unnaturally, as if the land itself were rebelling against my fearless escape. Dark trees twisted, roots curled around my boots, slowing me down further. Then, in the clearing ahead, I saw it a sight that I really should not behold. Daredevil stood, wild-eyed and thrashing, surrounded by a circle of grinning Spirits Of Halloween. The thing's once proud, black, shadowy form now glowed with a bloody ghostly sheen, his mane flickering like flames. They had transformed my devil horse into a creature of their own—a true demon horse of Halloween. They put a jack-o-lantern on his head and everything! That horse was on longer, my frenemy; it was just an asshole. But I can't easily deterred; that's my only ride. I raise my ghostly sword high, the blade shining with unearthly power and stupidly charged. As I closed in, the Spirits of Halloween hissed and swirled like a storm at midnight, trying to block my crazy path. I quickly slashed through them, their forms disintegrating with each strike, though they quickly reformed, jerks. But for each one I cut down, the stupid horse grew more restless, its wild eyes locking onto me. It wants to either be free or kill me. In one fluid motion, I leap onto Daredevil's back, the bond between them rekindling in an instant. The stupid Jack-o-lantern falls off, and the horse's will is once again its own. Suddenly, the horse bucked, its body surging with dark energy, it wants me dead. I was fighting him; his corrupted mind was resisting my worried commands. I have to hold on, I'm not dying from this demon spawn. Tightening my grip on the reins as the Spirits of Halloween shrieked, their plan has failed, time bail. can't let them do that. “You are mine!” I cried out. Then, just as quickly as it had fought me, the horse stilled. Its eyes, still glowing with a hellish light, turned sharp and aware. Now to the assholes, let's give chase. As we rode out of the clearing, the ground began to tremble. Earthquakes at this time of year? The Spirits Of Halloween must have one last trick, one more trap buried deep beneath the dark forest floor. They are desperate. The ground cracked open like a rotten egg, revealing an abyss lined with jagged teeth-like rocks. Cavities and all. The Spirits are not letting us go so easily. I can tell that Daredevil is still conflicted, caught between the pull of the abyss and my command. The stupid thing wants to go in. All seemed lost, but I can't let that happen. Let's use this new power I gained then. With a burst of infernal power, I plunge my sword into the earth itself. The chasm sealed shut with a deafening roar, trapping the Spirits Of Halloween beneath. We are out! We're free. And I know how to raise an army. Let there be war.

[starrybouquet]

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

Thank you so much for sending these, Nade!!!!!! <3

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Mutual pining, ALWAYS. One of my favorite subcategories is "love confessions where one side doesn't realize they're love confessions"

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Most of my fics are reallllly short so I don't know if any of them really count as a "ride." Plenty are wild, though! I'd say these two are in contention for "most insane fic posted":

We Can Do It! - starrybouquet - Stargate SG-1 [Archive of Our Own]

You Can't Hide Anything From a Sentient Cat - starrybouquet - Stargate SG-1 [Archive of Our Own]

Also, this one is straight hating on Cameron Mitchell for two chapters until it takes an abrupt turn into my less-cracky AU for the seasons of Stargate I hate, so it probably counts as a wild ride! XD

Letters to Archie - Chapter 1 - starrybouquet - Stargate SG-1 [Archive of Our Own]

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

Again, this would probably require me to write fics with an actual plot and more than one chapter. I'm sure plenty of folks have guessed the major "conflict" of most of my fics--when it's 500 words, it's not hard to figure out lol.

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

answered here!

[dropthedemiurge]

Exactly! I get the break-up part too (even though I still don't agree with how they did it), but the last couple of episodes were such a wild ride I'm not sure I want to repeat. I enjoyed the show in the sense that it became to me a story of a family (because let's be honest, without Night and mom's arc, having just Day's storyline would be even more upsetting for a viewer)

I have so many questions to Last Twilight who was so great and then decided to trip and fall and break everything:

How Mork dealt with his trauma? How is he so mature and content with himself and his heartbreak after 3 years without any support, close people nearby or even therapy? Why is he twice as wiser than Day after the time skip?

I have not seen Day reaching out to Mork at all. Mork apologized, took all the blame and kept caring about Day. When Day cared? One time - when he got inspired and decided to take a risk to run after Mork (at the end, not succeeding). When he said 'I love you and I'm sure I can take care of you in return' in the mountains, all I was thinking about was 'but how are you sure you're not going to break up next day again? you haven't changed, you haven't grown, you haven't addressed the issue, you haven't taken care of Mork, we all know you guys are adorable when you're happy, but what happens when you're not? i'm afraid it'll be the same but the show tells me it's not'. The answer wasn't given because as I see, Day didn't put as much work into the relationship, if he even put any.

Or actually, wait, next time they have relationship conflicts, it won't be the same... because now Mork won't feel pity for Day, right? Since they freaking fixed his vision. And I understand why technically and storytelling-wise: they kept talking about the possibility, it fits perfectly with their second chance symbolism, people do get surgeries and get better irl sometimes, but goddamnit. And they even said 'well now you'll be able to live a normal life and be happy like a normal person', which might be the translation problem but did they really just keep implying that being blind and happy wasn't normal? Being blind was still something that's not normal and requires pity because it's void of beautiful sunsets and lovers' faces? P'Aof, I... Huh? That's the last message of the series?

When Day rejected Mork once and for all during the dance, I was actually content. Because I could see Day hasn't changed, didn't want to reach out to Mork over and over again, despite still harboring feelings, so this relationship wouldn't work and Mork was getting pathetic at this point. I loved airport hopeful scene but when it failed, I was content because of course, Day rejected Mork so firmly, it would be stupid of him to miss the flight, cancel his good life (which was the 'worst mistake' before) and stay for scraps and mere hope. And then somehow we ended up in a romance fairytale. I did like the scenes, I didn't like the ending.

All the second chance symbolism scenes didn't feel like they were earned. It felt like if someone missed a semicolon in the code, and it didn't work the first time. And instead of rewriting the code to optimize it better, they just added a semicolon and the code finally worked the second time. Everyone's happy, but nothing important has actually changed. Everything is rewritten, from the eye surgery gone bad to the heartbreaking last twilight. Photoshopped to be good this time without working hard for it. Honestly, at this point I would've accepted with much more warmth Day's blindness and Mork x Day going separate ways but growing personally.

They fixed. Day's vision. And then celebrated it as finally breaking the curse, defying the bittersweet story of a girl gone totally blind, and a cure to alll relationship problems. They did it. Why.

You're so right about the bad taste in the mouth=( I enjoyed so many things and scenes and details in the show but I guess all the suspicions and worries that I had for Mork and Day since the very beginning have been confirmed, unfortunately.

At least this show gave me the best and my most loved hetero ship in all BL series, and for that, I am grateful :DD

Last Twilight managed to twist my viewer comprehension so intricately that I am confused with both the series and myself:

It's so interesting that I have absolutely no problem with Day's mom and family storyline arc; like I understood all the messages and meanings between the lines, I know clearly when and how Day's mom changed, why the family healed and everything was elevated on a new level of comfort etc because the series showed it in a very nice subtle and relatable way (when many other people are still frustrated and think that it was a confusing episode where nobody apologized or changed)

Meanwhile, in the finale I am absolutely flabbergasted why the series keep showing us that Mork and Day are mending their relationship (it's shown in editing, music, dialogues etc) and hinting at their future... when Mork keeps his flirting with Day who doesn't want it, there's no future nor apologies or reaching out from Day's side, nothing that can show me there's meaning. "I understood everything, thank you for breaking up with me" SHARE WITH THE CLASS PLEASE?? How can Mork be like that after 3 years. Why are they acting like that. What for? Why I should be watching hopeful and happy now as they bring old habits? What's going on?

I need someone who can make sense of MorkDay for me, instead I can explain Day x Family to you, we all need our urgent Last Twilight Meta presentation conference after this series, it's the most confusing main pairing from P'Aof that I've seen, I don't want JimmySea to feel like another ViceVersa to me 😅

[childofaura]

So... Wizards (SPOILERS)

A friend of mine and I finally got to watching Wizards and honestly... it’s a very mixed bag. They did some things right, and I personally feel they did some things VERY wrong. Keep in mind that everything’s just my personal opinion, and I respect everyone else’s opinions too; I say this because I hold an opinion about a character that I think is probably an unpopular opinion, and I’ll elaborate on that.

So, with that being said, let’s start into it. Pros:

1. Douxie was a genuinely enjoyable character. I grew more fond of him than I did of the royal siblings in 3Below. He’s crafty, he’s eager to prove himself, he’s a goofy teenager, and he’s smarter than everyone gives him credit for most of the time. You really see him grow.

2. Callista/Dea! Augh, I loved her character, she was so well fleshed out! She was kind of a dry humor character, she was friendly and wanted to fight for what was right but didn’t quite believe in herself. Her strength was in her friendliness.

3. Animation was overall better than it was in 3Below. More consistent, higher quality, better effects and physics most of the time, etc.

4. Great voice cast. Liked Douxie’s actor, it was nice to hear Morgana’s actress really bring it across, and everyone else returning was great as well.

5. DRAAL CAMEO DRAAL CAMEO DRAAL CAMEO.

6. They avoided trying to push too much of a political agenda like they did in 3Below, and focused more on the story. Big improvement.

7. The new character designs were super interesting.

8. OUR HUMAN JIM IS BACK! THE AWFUL CONTRADICTORY PLOT WRITING HAS BEEN UNDONE!

Aaaaaaaand now for the cons:

1. I’m just gonna get this one out of the way and I’m gonna clarify that THIS is the unpopular opinion I was talking about:

Claire.

I really don’t like her, and in Wizards I really don’t like her even more. Claire became an active case of being a Mary Sue, in being that the plot simply can’t get anywhere without her, everyone just loves her without having any real conflict with her, and she always gets what she wants by sheer plot favoritism. The Wizards story was supposed to be Douxie’s in the same way that 3Below was about Aja and Krel, and Trollhunters was about Jim. But Claire sidelines not just Douxie, but EVERYONE! Never mind that Jim had other relationships with different characters, the LOVE INTEREST has to be the most important one who can reach out to him, right? Never mind that Blinky was the definition of father figure, never mind that Toby was his longstanding best friend who helped him through more of his trials than Claire did, it HAD to be her. Because somehow due to handling the staff, she has magic? And that magic can overcome Merlin’s magic that transformed Jim into a troll? Her whole personality is just “Jim”. That’s it. She has no real relationship with any of the other characters.

2. The fact that Lancelot was seemingly supposed to be an ancestor of Steve, but he gets offed when fighting Bular without explaining if he had a family or someone to continue his lineage.

3. The pacing was AWFUL. Give the damn cast a break between nearly getting killed, please!

4. More plot holes or weird inconsistencies galore. Why was Angor on that island with that wizard group? Where was Kanjigar when Draal was clearly in the past? If Morgana’s the one who created the changelings, then was the original human assistant to that skull knight banished to the dark lands somewhere? Why did the battle take place in a completely different location, and wouldn’t all of this information have changed what Merlin told Jim in the cave? Vendel in the cave flashback in Trollhunters was still old and grey, but in Wizards he’s young with brown hair and no cataracts; technically the other trolls should have shown noticeable age as well? Why was there a random Kubera in the troll city, I thought they hated being near the surface?

5. Characters with supposed deep friendships just don’t interact properly. Merlin and Arthur? Nah. Merlin and Galahad, who he supposedly mourned as an old friend when he died in the present? Nope. Jim not even being conflicted that Draal was there? Pshaw.

6. They REALLY dumbed down Steve’s character to an unenjoyable point. And they didn’t give him any genuine moments. Remember the moment with Coach Lawrence? Yeah, there’s nothing like that in Wizards.

7. Really wish they could have given past Douxie more of a learning relationship with his future self, instead of being purely comic relief and kind of a dumbass the WHOLE TIME.

Aside from all of that though, Wizards ended up being overall enjoyable. Apparently there’s not gonna be a Season 2, but an overall movie instead. Really hoping that one will tie things up nicely.

[icharchivist]

was having banri thoughts lately just bc like. why not right. and then i suddenly remember u mentioning that some ppl... did not like banri at the start? which is wild to me bc in my mind ive always been ride or die for him. like i love juza so much but i feel like. that doesnt rly oppose liking banris character as well? banri is such fun character drama at the beginning of autumn and then his and itarus dynamic is fun from the start... gosh and the acting in the final bits of the autumn troupe between him and juza! suchhh fun tension. like. idk. it just started making me think like wow. digging thru a3 on my own with mostly the influence of like, just you has probably skewed my opinion of what the common perception of a3 is like. for example in my head winter is the most popular troupe which... it maybe isnt? i feel like recently i saw u mention summer might be the most popular(? this couldve been a dream) and i didnt realize itaru was super popular until like. last month. i mean if i had to pick a character i thought was the most popular i'd pick. misumi.

LKFJDLKFJD god what an ask

yeah i doubt i'm exactly the "common a3 experience" but to be perfectly honest i haven’t really kept tabs on the fandom per se since hh mid-2020 when i started to dig into some tags and saw so much negativity i was just :/ and stopped doing so (the curse to liking rascals </3).

Nowadays my knowledge of the a3 fandom is mostly the people interreacting with me, which already generally means that they vibe with what i post, so it gives me a skewed vision of the fandom like, are we all like that? or are the loud voices that made me go avoid the tag still here yaknow?

More stuff under cut

For Banri, i'll admit i wasn't too hot about him when i started the game, which now i regret so bad because he's my precious little meow meow hands down. He has such a good arc!!!! I know in my case i just had a hard time because i cared for Juza right away and i was still so high on Summer's development i kept comparing Banri to Tenma and going "here's why Tenma is amazing and Banri is cringefail". But it lasted me until a bit before Banri sees the portraits, when he starts to be conflicted, after that i was all, oh wait i like that guy. And then the more content i saw of him the more i loved him and he became my fav Autumn Chara. (so if you want to ramble about him more you’re free to do so because i’m team i adore this guy. please do. you’re so right in what you say of him.)

But so i did expect people to have my experience - hard time in the beginning, then mellowing on him before the end of the Autumn Chapter. And it wasn't the case 😭😭😭😭 At least at the time, the Banri's takes were rancid. Like it was genuinely annoying at a point, you couldn't go anywhere without some Banri bashing fuckery, even after his initial arc, people just. really hated him. My most hated takes were that i saw so many people say Banri would bully Yuki or stuff implying they would have an antagonistic relationship and it's probably why i cling to Into the Night so much, like HELL you're going to twist one of my fav crosstroupe dynamic!!! I legit saw so many things reducing Banri to a menace and a bully, and if not that, talking about how much everyone in the dorm hated him, and it was really driving me insane then.

I remember once making a post about how i was so close to blacklist "Banri" because people didn't filter this bashing with tags so i was just ready to just, not see Banri anymore, but it was breaking my heart. But somehow after this post i got a few people coming back at me about how it annoyed them too and i saw some of those people make their own posts in a more. direct way. and after that i never saw Banri bashing again. My power (< absolutely not, coincidence at best i'm sure).

A lot of Banri bashing i saw back then were from "newcomers" in the sense that it was after the anime aired, and a lot of people were just coming in without knowing about the events. imo i think the events do help giving a better feel to Banri in general so the fact people were fresh from the anime might have skewed things. I remember a friend who was in that case, newcomer and all, only read the main story, didn't like Banri after reading the main story. Then, Main story act 2 came out and while they didn't read the events, they read the main story and they started liking Banri there (because he did develop so much since then)

And as a whole i'd say, by act 2 it must have died out a bit.

There's another chara who gets bashed a lot but. Act 2 stuff 😔. Unfortunately a chara i like a lot so this was my breaking point of "i'm not checking the tags anymore none of you know how to behave". I think it mellowed since then? and i know the chara is popular in the JPN fandom meanwhile.

else i've seen like, Tasuku having very little content from fans and a few people being mean to him when they talked about him, but it was a long time ago and i sure hope it died out. I don't think i'd say he's bashed, more that most folks don't have strong feelings about him and stopped just with a bitter taste over his anger toward Tsumugi in the first winter chap.

Now. About popularity, Winter is DEF NOT the most popular troupe. Pretty sure it plays between Autumn and Summer in term of popularity. That said it's not like any of the troupes are unpopular so any ramblings about each Troupe would be meet with pleased reactions from the fandom, so it is harder to gauge that but yeah.

Troupewise something i noticed is that i think Summer is the most popular in term of GROUP, while Autumn is the most popular in term of Individuals. So a lot of people liked Summer specifically for their dynamic and how each of those charas played out each other more than individually liking each of them, while for Autumn it was, they liked all of them strongly! not specifically for their dynamic, though of course it plays a part, but as individuals. I mention it because i think it was the key difference in rank up in why i think Summer plays were okay to rank up to while Autumn were a nightmare. (that said that can also be "blamed" on "fans gravitate around characters that have elements they have as well" or something which means Autumn fans were more likely to be competitive and stubborn in a way Summer were more mellow.)

Itaru is definitely the most popular character of the whole game, period. It's not even a competition at this point it's so funny. when the EN server was live, anytime Itaru had a rank up card was a bloodbath (< survivor of Kniroun ranking up at 0.2%. Didn't sleep normally for the whole duration of the event it was so much.).

By the end of the server things were dying out a bit but still in general you could get a vague idea of popularity by how wild the rankings could be. For instance the fact Tasuku's ranking was a breeze without even trying was indicative of how he's not that popular.

In general i've noticed, at the time at least, that Winter ranks up were rather easy. I've ranked up for a few of Summer and i didn't see much of a problem otherwise*. Spring was really chill unless Itaru was in rank up. Autumn was THE Bloodbath. There were Autumn Stans organziation all over, the appp SYSTEMATICALLY broke EVERYTIME Autumn was around, it was always much more challenging, so yeah man.

Misumi* is probably the one i'd consider the second most popular character of the game, pretty much.

(*The funny thing is that Misumi got his lead play very early in the server's history, and i know i ranked up for him then and i didn't think it was too hard. In retrospect i'm sure it has more to do with the fact the game didn't have as many people playing it, than it had to do with popularity, so my word on Summer not being a problem is based on weird stats)

A while ago, for the Taiwanese server, there was a special set of cards in term of popularity on this server. Itaru got a SSR, Masumi got a SR, and Misumi got a R.

Masumi is in a weird position because i'd say he's fairly unpopular in the EN server, while he's popular in the JPN and Taiwanese server. Honestly i'm assuming he's especially popular with the teen audience.

AND THE MOST TELLING PART:

The first Cross-troupe's play was involving the most popular character of each troupe, by a poll being made by the JPN server. The leads were Itaru and Banri, then Misumi as a secondary character and Tsumugi as a more support character.

Meaning at the time, this was the order of the 4 most popular characters of the game.

When the mixed troupe event came to the English server, i remember a poll circulating on tumblr and likely twitter as well, trying to see if the EN Server had different favorites. Itaru still came on top, Misumi followed closely afterward. For Autumn, it was Juza and Taichi that were on the top of the Autumn poll, not Banri, and for Winter, i think it was still Tsumugi but Homare was very close behind.

So that was the popularity at least back then, god knows opinions now.

I've seen Homare be extremely popular on tumblr for sure. I have no doubt in Juza's popularity as well.

I saw a lot of Taichi fan going "Taichi is underappreciated" but i saw so many of them i was kinda just thinking "bro i'm pretty sure Taichi is in the popular character squad by now" But i'm also on the other hand as i've once seen a post saying Hisoka was popular and it stunned me a moment going ????? because as a huge Hisoka stan i don't see it???? There's a few devoted fans, and he has a better fanbase in JPN server, but in EN server??? (I'm comparing the last rank up for Hisoka VS the last rank up for Taichi in my mind and i genuinely don't see it for instance) so i also think it's likely i have a "fav blindspot" where i just don't think people are vibing with the charas the way i'm vibing, just. exactly like what i'm talking about with the Taichi stans so.... (that said i also once was tagged in a post that was going "i don't think i've ever seen a Hisoka or Tasuku stan" and a friend just went @ icha come here. Schrodinger Hisoka who's both popular and unpopular depending on who you're asking. And Tasuku IS MY UNDERRATED MEOW MEOW)

I think i recall Tenma being popular for a time, and Yuki is well appreciated by everyone around here. Kazunari has a loud fanbase but i'm pretty sure the seiyuu thing was a huge blow to them and a lot of them got more quiet at the time.

And for what it's worth i do think there's a sizeable portion of the fandom that really like Tsuzuru, but i think it's just, something you get to see a lot when a huge part of the fandom is creatives. And to be completely fair, Clockwork Heart is the one event i had a massive burn out at and didn't pay attention to the rankings at all, so i can't tell if people went really wild about it. And the next Tsuzuru rank up event was literally the last event of the EN server and i'm sure it's not indicative of anything since a lot of folks just didn't want to bother. So unlike the others were i'm using rank up as a gauge of popularity i can't tell how Tsuzuru's might influence his.

SO YEAH that's for what i could pick up BACK THEN, as i remind, i didn't really look deeply into the fandom itself. I'm really good in my corner so it might not actually be indicative of the fandom trends and i'm maybe completely off base.

Then about how, i, personally, don't represent the fandom, unless the fandom changed since then: When i first liveblogged a3, it was when the server was new and no one was on tumblr about it, so i was a little unfiltered from people's opinions. when i came back about a year later to comment on act 2, getting all worked up, and running then into the growing fanbase on this website, is when i started to run into fan takes and everything.

And, let's be clear, i came back because i was crying very hard over Hisoka and Azuma and the full Winter Troupe, and Chikage, so i really came here with my Big Winter Boots only talking about Winter and then Spring.

I ended up getting a feel of what people were talking about a lot at that time, and kinda ended up talking more about what i considered my Underrated Gems.

For instance, i absolutely adore Itaru. I ranked up for him, i've bleed for him, i love the dude. But he's so popular i figured i legit had nothing to say about him that a hundred people wouldn't have been able to say before. So i've mostly didn't really talk about him much despite loving him a LOT because i just didn't think i had anything to say. (now in my current reread i'm doing it so disconnected from what i know of the fandom that i indulged in talking more about how much i like him LMAO)

Meanwhile, there's characters i love that i know the fandom don't talk about much so i end up talking about them more, and it's the case of Tasuku. I wouldn't be surprised Tasuku is really low on most people's popular list. I'm just Not Most People and you're going to hear me ramble about that hunk of a man every few days or so.

I've made my niche in the Winter Troupe appreciation gang and i'm pretty sure by now a lot of other Winter people follow me as a result because i couldn't shut the fuck up, so then my perception of the fanbase gets skewed because i just think of Them ahah.

And there is the fact i adore the rookies, mainly Chikage and Guy, but don't talk about them so much mostly because they came out later in the main story and i've been rereading act 1 so many times instead,,, and didn't talk much about act 2 in case some people managed to save themselves from being spoiled (like you!!)

So my personal perception of a3 is probably not reflecting the whole a3 fanbase really much. God the amount of times i talked my friends's ears off about Winter, that they kinda just humored me without thinking much about it, until they found out one of the More Popular Chara (Itaru, Tenma and the whole Autumn Troupe mostly) and suddenly they're like *twirls hair* heeyy Icha tell us more about a3. It's genuinely so funny to me.

and again i don't know perhaps i'm full of shit, and it's not like i've kept tabs on the fandom recently either!

But that is at least a bit of what i remember in term of popularity and what i can say is that i shouldn't be taken as an example of the fanbase's views in general.

I'm vibing in my corner, and by experience, it usually meant i ended up talking about more niche things, but since i'm disconnected from the fandom i'm pretty sure i still have opinions that are popular opinions. So who knows! not me!

So yeah that's all i can say about the popularity of the a3 fandom. Def not an indication of it by me.

and it must be funny for you since you only really have me as your fandom gateaway because well. *waves at post* yeah.

The more you know!