#This kinda makes me want to post one of them now
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Okay. Okay. Okay. This post has been going around on my dash for a while with variations on the above reply. I picked this version because i think it’s nuanced, i think it’s well thought out, i think it’s from someone who, like me, Cares About the Welfare of Women. I swallowed down my knee-jerk defensiveness because i decided yesterday that I’m never going to play defense again for the rest of my life, im offense forever babyyyy—but enough about my personal journey
I just want to address one thing, which has been indirectly talked about, but does need to be stated out loud and plainly. the push to de-radicalize radicalized men cannot be the sole responsibility of women. It cannot be the sole responsibility of any oppressed group to reach out to people who actively wish them harm. That’s not safe and it’s not fair and it’s not effective
The above replier, as they say, is able to make connections with right wing men because they are perceived as a cis man. Specifically because they are perceived as a cis man—as they say, if they had been perceived as genderfluid, or as a woman, or anything else, that dialogue would not have happened. We do need men on the left; we need every warm body we can get, frankly. At the same time, we cannot give ground. We’re all familiar with the unreasonable man who wants to meet us in the middle, by now. They need to take a step towards us.
If you are a white man who thinks all this *waves vaguely* is Kinda Fucked, if you think it’s Kinda Fucked that doctors in Texas are watching as teenage girls die of preventable miscarriage complications, if you think it’s Kinda Fucked that black college students are getting text messages telling them they’re gonna have to go pick cotton, then you’re in a position where you can push back. You can have conversations with your brothers, friends, dad. Hell, sisters and mothers too if they’ve also got the fascism brain worms. They might listen to you. They won’t listen to me if i tell them there’s a place for them on the left, I’m a big tiddie femme with a high voice. I literally had blue hair and pronouns years before it ever became a meme. Look in my winged eyes. They might listen to you.
Bystander intervention model of anti-bigotry. This moment is a call to action for every single one of us, including you
I couldn't have said it better myself.
#feminism#misogyny#sigh#also#you gotta have a little grace for the women in your life who are scared and heartbroken and angry#like#they aren’t wrong to be#have some compassion#please
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No Nut November
Multiple character headcannons
Authors note: this is the only November post y’all r getting so hahahahahhaahah. I rushed this just today so say thank you. Bye bye. (POST-TIMESKIP!!)
Warning: kinda suggestive but like y’all don’t do anything.
“You know what time of month it is, right baby?”
You asked your boyfriend, all while adjusting your makeup in mirror a cheeky smile on your face taking a quick glance at him sitting down on your bed watching you intensely.
“…it’s not our anniversary, is it?” He asked, a hint of confusion in his voice.
“What? No, I’m talking about it being November…y’know? No Nut November?”
He visibly shifts in his seat. He knew what you were going to ask him.
“you think you can last the month? Im willing to bet on it.”
The type to not even last a day
“Man that’s light work! I could easily last a month if I wanted to—"
He failed.
“Okay but it’s not my fault. Y-you decided to wear that out, not me!”
“You say it like I purposely did it to make you lose..”
“Because you did!”
He’s not accepting the fact that he lost on the day you challenged him.
Do you know how embarrassing that is?
Imagine how badly he’s gonna get teased by all his mates if they ever find out he couldn’t help but bust one on you!
“You better keep this between just us..”
Should he really be saying that when he’s the one who started tearing off your clothes and tossing them aside?
Should he really be saying that when he’s the one who pleaded for just a few minutes to enjoy you?
Should he really be saying that when—
“Why’re you looking at me like that!”
You were looking at him like he was an idiot. You really couldn’t believe what he was saying.
Was it really that bad he didn’t last that long?
I mean it’s sort of flattering to you, seeing that your boyfriend could get so turned on from just you wearing a nice outfit.
“Because you just sound stupid why can’t you admit you lost and call it a day?” You huff.
“Because it doesn’t count!”
He pouts, crossing his arms in annoyance, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks as he turns away from you on the bed where you both lay bare, slick with each other’s essences from your prior…activities.
“And it’s stupid. This whole no nut November nonsense is stupid! I mean who would even come up with that kind of torture? why would someone want to restrict themselves from such a bliss that-"
You spend the rest of that evening listening to the poor guy complaining about how November is a stupid month.
Characters: REIGEN, Tenegn, Eren, Reiner, Hinata, Oikawa, BOKUTO, MAMMON, Leviathan, ASMODEUS, ITTO, kaeya, RAFAYEL (any character you like)
The type to last a week
“You sure you wanna bet on that? Y’know before we started dating I wasn’t the kind of guy who needed Intimacy in their life…"
He totally regrets saying those things because now they’re just gnawing at him.
This is all your fault, you hear him?
You- you did something to him okay?
Never in his life has he felt so…so…
Vulnerable?
Jesus, this was suppose to be a walk in the park so why do you suddenly look so...sexy?
You were just watching TV, but the way you curled up on the couch made your thighs press together in a way that was hard to ignore.
And that shirt of yours?
It was barely hanging on your shoulder, giving him a peek at your bra strap, while your hand rested on your stomach, revealing just enough skin.
Damn, even the way you bit your lips without realizing it was driving him wild—he couldn’t handle a whole month of this!
He was so caught up in you that he didn’t even notice how his body was inching closer.
It wasn’t until you turned to him, your noses almost touching, that he realized it.
Did you eyes always look so beautiful?
And your lips…they never looked this soft before.
“..you’re so gorgeous baby, is this some kind of punishment?..”
He gently cups your cheek, his lips almost brushing against yours when suddenly—
“What are you doing?”
This snaps him out of his trance before a deep blush spread across his face.
“I-I..I dunno? You just- well I thought…”
Yeah he sure as hell was thinking.
Thinking of all the ways he could have you!
He lets out a small whine, his brows knitting together in frustration.
“Can we just…not do this challenge anymore…please?”
I mean if he’s talking to you like that, who are you to say no?
Besides you could always just…edge him a lil right?
Characters: REIGEN (again), SERIZAWA, Rengoku, Armin, Jean, BOKUTO (again), CHOSO, Beelzebub, DIAVOLO, ITTO (again), Thoma, LIAOS (any character you like)
The type to barely last the whole month
“Why would you want to do that? We both know you’re not gonna make it."
“Well the challenge is for you! Not me!”
“...but my point still stands.”
His point sure as hell did stand and it hurt you to admit that he was right!
Already 17 days in and he hadn’t budged an inch.
How was this man still going??
You even tried to sabotage him, sitting on his lap only for him to laugh and gently push you off.
Kissing up his neck with your arms around his waist while he made dinner only for him to ask you to grab some spices.
Even you making crude dirty jokes, only for him to blush slightly and brush you off!
This was just getting ridiculous and now you were looking like the needy one!
“For someone who wanted me to take on this challenge, it seems like you’re the one feeling it the most.”
You shoot him a glare.
You were annoyed he was right.
Annoyed that he could still tease you, fully damn aware of what you wanted!
“You can hold out for another 13 days can’t you, sweetheart? I promise I’ll make it worth your while.”
What you didn’t realize was that these last few days were weighing on your boyfriend too.
He was doing a great job of hiding it when you were around, but when he was alone—
“Shit…”
He slammed his fist against the bathroom wall at work a growing tightness forming in his pants.
You just loved to tease, didn’t you?
Couldn’t you see this was driving him crazy too?
And to think you could send him such…things while he’s at work!
“Damn this…”
He was going to get his revenge; mark his words. Once this month wraps up, he was going to have his way with you.
And so he did yippee!! 😈
Characters: Giyuu, Kageyama, TSUKISHIMA, kuroo, IWAIZUMI, Akaashi, Ushijima, SUNA, Osamu, Geto, NANAMI, Lucifer, Satan, SOLOMON, Ayato, DILUC, Neuvillette, Writhoesley, ZHONGLI, Sylus, Zayne (any character you like)
The type to say they lasted the whole month (he jerked off)
“Babe come on, we both know I have some self restraint when it comes to you.”
“Do we?”
He shoots you a sharp look.
“Yes. We do. And I find it quite offensive you don’t believe I can last a simple 30 days without sex-"
You had to break it to him he couldn’t touch himself.
“I-I can’t?!”
Sure it was a lil surprising to him to hear that he couldn’t flick his tip and buss one little nut, but hey!
That wasn’t going to stop him!
I mean how would you ever find out he touched himself if you weren’t there, huh?
Simple as that!
“You’re...strangely happy today...something good happen?”
A few days had gone by since the challenge started, and November was finally winding down, which felt like a relief after those tough days.
The main reason for the struggle was your boyfriend’s constant whining about how his “body craved some kind of touch—anything!”
Now all of a sudden he’s happy days and roses.
You were suspicious.
“Who wouldn’t be? 30 days of war are finally over! Told you I could last.”
You give him a weird look.
It was almost too obvious that he had done something. That smirk was unmistakable—the same one he wore when he knew he’d crossed a line!
The same one he flashed when he’s trying to keep his secrets under wraps!
“You failed didn’t you.”
“W-what! Where’d ya get that idea?”
He finally admits to you after a while of back and forth he failed a few days after the night you challenged him.
At least he lasted a week in?
Characters: Dimple, Sanemi, TENGEN, Connie, Nishinoya, Ukai, Tendou, ATSUMU, GOJO, Toji, MAMMON (again), Belphagor, CHILDE, kaeya (again), CHILCHUCK, Rafayel (again) (any character you like)
#x reader#gojo smut#smut#aot smut#genshin x reader#genshin smut#itto smut#geto smut#jjk smut#haikyuu smut#bokuto smut#kaeya smut#obey me smut#demon slayer smut#reigen smut#giyuu smut#reiner smut#atsumu smut#choso smut#nanami smut#choso x reader#reigen x reader#gojo x reader#rengoku x reader#wriothesely smut#tsukishima smut#sub men#sub choso#love in deepspace#rafayel smut
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something like love
part - 2
pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd
word count - 5.3k
c/w - language, slight angst if you squint, emetephobia warning
a/n - hi!! it’s odd for me to post two days in a row, so try not to get used to it! i just already had this written and wanted to share it so baddd. hope yall enjoy! also, this is unedited so once again, im begging, lmk if there’s any mistakes. and ofc tell me what you think!!
To be honest, Azzi hadn’t really known what to expect when they put their plan in motion. She and Paige had gone over the logistics, sure, but they’d only really skimmed over how they’d act in public, and whether they’d hold hands, and what kind of flirty things they’d say to each other. Azzi sort of regrets her decision to let Paige lead the way, because that makes her feel like she’s going into this blind, with no idea of how Paige is going to act when they’re together now. No idea of how things are going to change.
It is only the morning after their movie night, and here is what Azzi has learned so far:
For one, Paige doesn’t actually seem to be that big on hand-holding. The only time she held Azzi’s hand last night was when she led her to the doorway once the night was over, waving their joined hands goodbye to their friends.
Paige does, however, seem to be big on basically everything else.
Once the girls were done gushing and celebrating and asking (very invasive) questions, they’d all decided on some horror movie they’d seen the trailer for. Azzi hates horror movies and she guesses this is probably the reason why Paige advocated so hard to watch one. Because as soon as they turned the lights off and the scary intro music started, Paige wrapped her arm around Azzi’s shoulders, pulling her flush against her side. They stayed this way for around ten minutes before Paige claimed she had to use the restroom, but before she left, she kissed Azzi’s head and mumbled, “Don’t get too scared while I’m gone, baby,” into her ear. Azzi had swallowed thickly and nodded, and pretended not to notice Jana wiggling her eyebrows at her.
When the first real jumpscare happened, and Azzi screamed along with a few of the other girls, Paige chuckled quietly and leaned down to whisper, “You’re such a baby about this kinda stuff, Az.” Azzi had reacted how she normally would, slapping Paige on the arm and rolling her eyes, defending herself with a, “Shut up, I know you’re scared, too.” But what wasn’t normal was the way Paige fondly shook her head and nuzzled her cheek with her nose before pressing a kiss there, and then leaned back up to pull Azzi into her side once more, this time protectively. Azzi swore she could hear her own heart racing for a solid five minutes afterwards. It didn’t help that KK had looked back at them and said, “Aw, y’all grossing me out with how cute you are,” before turning back to the movie. Paige had snickered. Azzi had taken a deep breath, which did nothing to help with her composure.
Almost an hour into the movie, Paige rested her hand on Azzi’s thigh and squeezed, and she didn’t give Azzi any time to tame the fire in her belly before leaning into her ear once more and whispering, “You’re so stiff. You gotta chill,” and so, tamping down the need to cross her legs, Azzi’d obeyed and leaned her head on Paige’s shoulder.
At some point or another, she must’ve fallen asleep there, because all she remembers after that is a gentle pressure on her shoulder, jostling her softly, and a voice from her dreams saying, “Az, it’s late, we gotta go. Time to wake up, baby,” and Azzi opened her eyes to find Paige sitting beside her, giving her this look that Azzi had only ever caught glimpses of, and it was so soft she had to shut her eyes again.
“Thought we were sleeping over,” Azzi mumbled, stretching and then turning onto her side, realizing vaguely that somebody must’ve thrown a blanket over her.
“Nah, I figured we better sleep in an actual bed tonight.” Paige stroked back a strand of Azzi’s hair with incredible tenderness before taking her by the waist and hefting her into a sitting position. “C’mon. I’ll take you to mine, okay?”
Azzi had nodded sleepily, and had let Paige say all their goodnights while she hung off her arm with lidded eyes. Even in her half-sleep state, she didn’t miss the way the girls elbowed each other and gave knowing glances.
Now, Azzi stares at Paige, who lays sleeping just next to her, hair all splayed out and mouth hanging open. Azzi smiles softly at her. She and Paige have slept in the same bed hundreds—maybe thousands—of times, but this is different, because Azzi is allowing herself to pretend that it is. She imagines reaching out and waking Paige the same way Paige woke her last night, gently and lovingly, and then sharing a lazy morning together as a couple where they joke about morning breath and talk about their plans and hold each other.
But Paige grumbles, then shifts and blinks her eyes open, rubbing them a little before finding Azzi laying next to her. She smiles, but it’s not the same smile from last night—it’s not that tender, adoring smile, but rather the one Azzi is used to—the wide, toothy, beautiful but friendly one. “Oh, hey. Morning.”
“Morning,” Azzi mumbles, her indulgent fantasy broken, and she reminds herself just how careful she’ll have to be while she and Paige are doing this. She cannot allow herself too many delusions, cannot let her imagination run wild with the idea that their act is real. She cannot let herself get burned by this.
“You kept stealing the blankets last night.”
Azzi lies onto her back to avoid eye contact, staring up at the ceiling. “No, Paige, you were taking up the entire bed.”
“Cap,” Paige says, shoving her shoulder. Rough, friendly. Sisterly.
It’s silent for a second and then Paige turns onto her side. “Hey.” Azzi can feel her eyes burning into the side of her head. “We did pretty good last night, yeah? We seemed super in love and shit?”
Azzi doesn’t chance a glance over, staring stubbornly at the ceiling. “Yeah, P,” she agrees. “We did.”
——————————————
Finals come far too fast.
The last month of school is always hectic, and this year has been no different—Azzi’s spent the vast majority of her time studying, drinking her nostalgia away with friends, and then more studying on top of that.
Oh, and pretending to be in a committed relationship with Paige. That too.
Some days are easier than others—it’s not like they’re being forced to undress each other in front of an audience or anything. They haven’t even had to utilize pet names much. But it’s still…different. So different. Paige was touchy-feely with Azzi even before they started ‘dating’, so now, if they ever sit more than an inch apart or walk somewhere without wrapping their arms around each other, they get strange glances from their friends. A couple mornings ago, they were so hungover that they forgot about their whole act, and when they’d stumbled out of Paige’s room and began making breakfast without so much as a word to each other, KK had abrasively asked if their was ‘trouble in paradise’. Paige was all over her the rest of the day. After two weeks, Azzi is starting to get used to it.
At least they haven’t had to kiss. They haven’t even discussed it, and Azzi has been specifically avoiding that topic of conversation. She knows herself well enough to know that she can’t kiss her best friend and act normal about it.
Later, Azzi will curse herself for thinking this without knocking on wood after.
“So, we all know the rules of the game?”
“KK—“
“Girl, just answer the question!”
A pause, and then a bored chorus of yes’es.
“Yay!” With a big, tipsy smile on her face, KK places the empty beer bottle in the middle of the circle.
Paige groans and rests her head on Azzi’s shoulder. “KK, this is so fuckin’ lame.”
“For real!” Ice says from a few spots down. “We’re not in middle school.”
KK waves them off. “Girl, boo. Y’all are the lame ones. This‘ll be so much fun, you’ll be thanking me after.”
Everyone starts to groan in response to this, but Caroline, ever the mom, speaks up. “C’mon, guys, just play KK’s game.”
Unable to really say no to Caroline, the group shuts up. KK smiles excitedly. “Now that’s what I like to hear! Thank you, Carol.”
Azzi brings her hand up to rest on Paige’s back, and she’s proud that it almost comes naturally now, like her body knows that’s just what it’s supposed to do.
Nika breaks the peace a moment later with another teasing comment, which prompts KK to yell at her, and then everyone is talking amongst themselves, the room buzzing with late-night, drunk-college-students-before-finals energy.
Paige sighs deeply into Azzi’s shoulder, and she loves that she’s the only one who can hear it, who can feel it against her skin.
Putting her lips to Paige’s hair, Azzi mutters, “Wanna go downstairs?”
Downstairs is where Paige’s dorm is. Azzi’s is the floor they’re on now, and it’d probably make more sense to sleep there for the night. But Paige’s dorm, and more specifically, her bedroom, is where they’ve been gravitating to the past couple weeks. Azzi has always loved it there, the smell of Paige filling the very air, photos of the two of them on her nightstand, purple bedding so very Paige. And now it’s become something of a sanctuary, a way to escape their facade which can become cumbersome.
Usually, they’d be in bed by now, because Azzi likes to sleep early and Paige hasn’t been wanting to stay up without her. But Paige shakes her head at the question.
“No?” Azzi asks. “You’re not tired?”
“Mm, nah.” Paige glances up at her. “You?”
Azzi licks her lips. She swears Paige’s eyes track the movement, and linger for just a moment too long. She clears her throat. “Same.”
“Aight,” Paige says, turning back to her shoulder. “We can leave after this, ma.”
“Hey, lovebirds,” KK says, barely giving Azzi any time to shudder at Paige’s nickname. “Pay attention. You’re going first.”
Everybody’s looking directly at Azzi, and she shakes her head awkwardly. “Oh, no, I don’t think—“
“If you don’t wanna play, you gotta take a shot every round.”
Paige lifts her head up. “KK, that’s dumb. She doesn’t have to play if she don’t want to.”
KK smiles deviously. Paige flips her off, but Azzi pulls her hand down, rolling her eyes. “Okay, whatever.” She leans over into the middle of the circle, making Paige lean off of her, and spins the beer bottle.
It spins only twice before slowing down and, blessedly, landing on Aubrey.
The girls make a range of noises, mostly giggles, and then Aubrey leans into the circle to meet Azzi in the middle, smiling.
Once she gets close enough, Azzi whispers, “Liyah good with this?”
Aubrey raises her eyebrows. “I’on think it’s my girl we gotta be worried about.”
Confused, Azzi glances over her shoulder, and sees Paige staring intensely at them, bottom lip pulled between her teeth. The blank look on her usually lively face scares Azzi a little bit. She turns back to Aubrey, who also looks a little afraid.
“You’re good,” Azzi reassures her, because she is. Aubrey doesn’t know that Paige is just acting, because she’s the possessive type and of course, if she and Azzi were really dating, she’d be jealous even of her own teammates. But Azzi can’t tell Aubrey this, so instead, she leans forward and kisses her.
Aubrey lets out a noise, surprised, and it makes Azzi laugh because she probably should’ve warned her she was going in. The kiss can’t last more than two seconds before there’s a hand fisting Azzi’s shirt, pulling her back, and Paige is saying, “Alright, alright,” quite gruffly.
Azzi’s stomach does flips at Paige’s rough voice, but she’s tipsy (maybe a little bit more than tipsy) so she leans up to nuzzle Paige’s cheek rather than shying away from her. “Somebody’s jealous.”
“Yeah,” Paige says, “no one should be up on you like that.” And they’re obviously acting—but when Azzi pulls away to look at her, there’s something on her face that isn’t quite fake enough.
But then she’s smiling and saying, “Stop tryna steal my girl, Aubrey,” and Azzi’s heart contracts like it always does when Paige says stuff like this nowadays.
Across the circle, Aubrey takes her spin. It lands on Ice, and Ice is considerably more drunk than any of them, so the whole thing is pretty slobbery. The next spin—Nika—is mostly the same.
It goes like that for a while, a few people taking shots instead of kissing, and a few others taking shots for the hell of it. The bottle lands on Azzi once again and she fills her shot glass to the brim before taking it, needing to dull the feeling of Paige’s hand wrapped possessively around her waist.
By the time the bottle lands on Paige, they’re all pretty damn drunk.
Azzi knows it’s just a game, but she’s always hated seeing Paige with other people, and now is no different. Ashlynn laughs, because this whole thing is pretty fucking funny, but Azzi can’t help but sulk, glad to be under the guise of a relationship—glad she doesn’t have to hide her feelings for awhile.
Before leaning into the circle, Paige looks at Azzi and says, all lighthearted and buzzed, “Don’t pout at me, baby.”
There’s that roughness again, that tone in the back of her throat, and Azzi squirms when Paige presses a wet kiss to her cheek.
Paige and Ashlynn kiss, but they both laugh kind of hysterically so their teeth are pretty much just clashing, and when they’re done Paige wraps an arm around Azzi’s shoulders and spins for herself. And it spins, and spins, and spins, so many times Azzi gets dizzy watching it—
It gets to Amari, and it slows.
It passes by Inês, barely moving anymore.
The neck gets back to Paige, and Azzi wonders for one drunk second, What if it lands on Paige and she has to kiss herself? and she doesn’t even have the time to laugh at how ridiculous that is before the bottle stops, pointing almost accusingly at her.
The girls all cheer, oohing and laughing.
Paige laughs too, easy and casual because they’re supposed to be a couple, they’re supposed to have done this a thousand times, it’s supposed to be normal, normal, Azzi, act normal.
They should have known this would be inevitable.
Paige turns to her, still smiling but with a concerned, almost imperceptible furrow between her brow. Azzi obviously can’t refuse this kiss, can’t take a shot rather than kiss her girlfriend in front of all these people who know she’s her girlfriend.
So instead, she wills herself to nod and then she takes Paige by the collar and kisses her.
Strangely enough, the first thing Azzi takes note of isn’t actually the way Paige’s lips feel touching hers for the first time, or the fact that their teammates are watching them, wolf-whistling and giggling amongst each other.
No, instead, it’s the way Paige smells—the fact that the hair tickling Azzi’s cheek is sweet, vanilla, which means she washed her hair today. And it’s the way her hands cup Azzi’s jaw, cradling her like they do this all the time, thumbs rubbing gently against her cheekbones in a gesture soft enough to make Azzi gasp into her mouth.
She only snaps into it and really realizes, oh, Paige is actually kissing me right now, when Paige’s tongue teases against Azzi’s bottom lip. And it’s just for a second, Paige pulling away fast enough that Azzi thinks she must have imagined it, but it leaves her lip wet.
After that, Paige sits back, smiling at her but there’s that furrow between her brow again, imperceptible to anyone who doesn’t know her as well as Azzi does, and she’s stroking Azzi’s cheek like a tick now, like she’s trying to figure something out.
The moment ends when the girls all clap like white people on a plane, and Azzi isn’t even paying attention to the teasing and cooing, because she’s too busy staring at Paige, wondering what she’s thinking about right now, wondering what about that kiss made her feel so damn…safe.
Whenever she thought about her first kiss with Paige, she expected butterflies, light-headedness—maybe even nausea. Comfort, the thing you feel when you come home to your small town after a semester away—that was not expected.
Paige blinks, that strange look on her face disappearing, and Azzi realizes that she’s still holding onto the front of her shirt. She pushes her away teasingly, and Paige laughs, wrapping an arm around her as she turns to the girls, waving off their teasing remarks, and as Azzi watches her profile, feels the wetness on her bottom lip cool, she knows that she is falling and thinks nobody will be there to catch her when she reaches the bottom.
——————————————
The next morning, Azzi wakes up and immediately regrets it.
Paige’s window blanket must’ve fallen down last night, because the sun is shining through the room and it is…loud. She rolls onto her side to try and get away from it, and then that problem is fixed but another rises in the form of an abrupt tummyache. And Azzi prides herself on being a strong person, but as soon as she gets a tummyache it’s over for her.
Also, maybe the loud sun problem isn’t as fixed as she thought because her head is beginning to pound. She can feel it beating against her skull in time with the beating of her heart, and somehow that gives her a feeling akin to motion sickness, which makes her tummy hurt worse. She is probably going to throw up very soon, and should get up so she doesn’t do it all over Paige’s bed, but that’s where the third problem arises: she is so comfy. How can she ever be expected to leave this bed when she’s so goddamn comfy?
“Yo, are you gonna puke?”
Azzi groans. “Probably.”
Azzi’s facing away, so she can’t see what Paige’s doing, but she hears sheets rustle and then a pair of footsteps on the hardwood floor. Soon enough, Paige is standing in front of her, holding a hand out. “Come on, I’ll help you.”
Azzi looks up, and that makes her stomach turn again, the back of her neck burning. “I don’t want to.”
“I’m gonna kill you if you puke on my bed. Like, actually.”
If Azzi threw up on Paige’s bed, Paige would probably usher her to the bathroom, give her some water, and clean the sheets without complaining about it until a few days later. But Azzi still doesn’t think that’d be a good idea, so she sits herself up and is about to accept Paige’s hand when she realizes this is much more urgent than she thought. Almost as soon as her feet hit solid ground, the bile rises in her throat at an alarming rate and she has to run across the hall. She doesn’t make it to the toilet but manages the bathtub, which is arguably better.
Paige is there once she’s done, tying her hair up into a ponytail. “That it?”
Azzi spits. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Okay. Lemme grab you some pepto or somethin’. Hang tight.”
Once Paige walks away, Azzi wipes her mouth and all at once, like the tide coming in, remembers how the lips now coated in spit and bile were yesterday on Paige’s.
Of course, she also remembers the pet names, the affection, the flash of jealousy in Paige’s eyes that may or may not have been there. But it’s the kiss, the wonderful, tipsy, warm kiss that wrestles its way to the forefront of her pounding head and stays there, the memory replaying quite a few times before Paige comes back with pepto bismol and water. “Here.”
Azzi looks disdainfully at the bright pink medicine. “I don’t think I can swallow that, P.”
“Whoa, pause.“
“Chill,” Azzi says, rolling her eyes. “Gimme that.” she takes them from Paige’s hand and manages to swallow one before throwing up again, this time with Paige by her side to hold onto her while her shoulders heave.
“Aw,” Paige tuts sympathetically when she’s done. “My lil lightweight.”
Azzi rests her head on the edge of the tub while Paige turns on the tap, washing the bile away.
Azzi lifts her head enough to see Paige sit against the wall across from her. “Feel okay now?”
Her throat burns, and her tummy hurts, and throwing up in front of the love of your life is not a glamorous experience. But with Paige here with her, taking care of her, she doesn’t feel too bad.
If it only weren’t for that really good fucking kiss.
Azzi nods weakly even though she doesn’t know the answer, because saying ‘I hate the fact that we kissed last night, not because I regret it—I’ve been wanting to do it since we were kids in high school—but because now I’m worried I won’t be able to keep my feelings hidden for much longer which is worrisome because we haven’t even left for Montana yet, and also I wonder what this means for us and our fake relationship, because if it means kissing will become a normal thing I don’t know if I can do this’ would probably be weird.
“K, good. Thanks for not puking in my bed.”
Azzi smiles weakly at her, mouth still tasting like bile. How could Paige ever return her feelings when she has seen her like this a hundred other times?
Paige reaches a socked toe out to nudge Azzi’s calf. “Okay, you said you feel better, but you still look kinda…green.”
Azzi looks Paige in the eye, and manages maybe a second of eye contact before she’s thinking about how they looked at each other just like this after they kissed last night, and there it goes, the moment playing in her head once and then again. She can’t help but groan and rest her burning cheek to the cool tub.
And the universe should go to hell for making them best friends because Paige gets it instantly. “Oh, this is about last night.”
Suddenly the cool tub isn’t helping anymore. Azzi weakly shakes her head, but she knows the truth is showing plainly on her face.
“Yeah, whatever.” Paige pushes herself off the wall, wiggling her eyebrows. Azzi senses trouble. “It was a good kiss, huh?”
Azzi balks, then tries to reel it in. “That’s not…Paige…”
“Hold up,” Paige says, looking genuinely a little confused. “You don’t think I’m a good kisser?”
“No, no, but I just…” how can Paige talk about this so casually, like it was meaningless, something to be joked about? Azzi envies her lack of feelings. “Don’t you think we should talk about it?”
“Uh, I mean…” Paige scratches the side of her neck, and it occurs to Azzi that the bathroom isn’t an amazing place to talk about this. “Yeah, sure. If you want to.”
Not exactly an encouraging answer. Azzi strives on nonetheless. “It was our first kiss.”
“Yeah. Guess we coulda planned it better.”
“Yeah, I guess…” Azzi trails off. “Don't you think it was sort of…weird?”
Paige frowns again. “Damn! If you didn’t like the kiss just say that.”
Azzi hopes she can blame her flushed cheeks on the hangover. “P, I don’t mean it like that. It’s just that you’re my best friend—“
“That’s me.” Paige smiles proudly. It’s too fucking cute.
“And,” Azzi says pointedly, “I feel like, weird, about kissing you.”
She waits for Paige to answer, but Paige just stares, apparently waiting for her, too. Azzi sighs. “I worry we won’t be able to fake it well enough.”
“We did fine last night, didn’t we?”
“We were drunk last night.”
Paige makes a face. “I guess. But I feel like we’d do good even if we were sober, y’know?” She leans her head back against the wall. “And it’s not like kissing’s a big deal, anyway.”
Azzi’s eyes drop down to the tiled floor, cold against the thin material of her sleep pants. “Maybe not to you,” she mumbles.
There’s a shuffling, and then Paige is closer than before, nudging Azzi’s knee with her own. “Yeah, you’re right, that’s my bad.” There’s a silence, both of them thinking, and Azzi wonders if maybe Paige is thinking the same thing she is. About how their kiss last night felt…different. Different than a kiss between two friends, different than the other kisses with other people felt. And the look Paige gave her afterward…
But then Paige says, “Wanna practice, ma?” and Azzi was a fool to ever think they’d be on the same track.
Azzi splutters for a moment. “Practice?”
“Yeah. To prepare, in case we have to do it again,” Paige says casually, like it’s no big deal at all.
“I don’t think that’s…that’s not—“ Azzi cuts herself off on a sigh. Then she looks at Paige, really looks at her, and that’s when she catches the glint in Paige’s eyes, and she realizes—she’s messing with her. She’s taking advantage of Azzi’s obvious shyness about this whole thing.
What a little shithead.
Making a quick decision, Azzi leans forward a little bit, glancing down, then back up, looking at Paige through her lashes before she licks her lip.
Paige clocks it, tracks it with her eyes. Just like last night.
Azzi swallows down the nervousness and wills herself to be normal, reminds herself that this is Paige, and she has no reason to sink into her shell when she has the opportunity to take the upper hand.
“Okay,” Azzi says after a moment.
Paige’s eyes flit up, away from her lips. “Okay?”
Azzi nods, then lifts her hand to place over Paige’s knee, bare in her sleep shorts, before she dances her fingers delicately up her thigh. “You wanna practice kissing me, Paige?”
Paige swallows thickly. And then she nods.
Okay. So. That’s…unexpected.
Paige wants to kiss her.
That would explain the lip-ogling.
Azzi has half a mind to make the biggest mistake of her life and close the gap between them, but then she remembers they are sitting on the bathroom floor, and, ew, she just threw up. Twice.
Azzi manages what she hopes is a cocky smirk and leans away. “Well, too bad. Sick, remember?”
Paige’s eyes widen, like she’s just been snapped out of a trance. “Oh. Yeah.” She backs off then, relief coursing through Azzi, before she’s standing up and dusting off her shorts as she reaches down to help Azzi up. “You good to stand?”
Ok. So they’re not talking about it. Cool.
Azzi nods and takes Paige’s hand, her palm warm against her own as their fingers entangle for the two seconds it takes to go from sitting to standing, feeling a little dizzy from the altitude once she’s up.
Paige frowns at her. “You still look kinda messed up. How ‘bout you lay down. I can go get us some food? Gotta fuel up for all the studying today.”
Azzi groans, palming her face. “No, I forgot about finals.”
“Azzi Fudd? Forgetting about finals?” Paige teases, leading them out of the bathroom. “Last night really fucked you up, huh?”
“Yeah,” Azzi mumbles. “It was definitely the alcohol that did it.”
Paige glances back at her but doesn’t say anything, sitting Azzi down on the edge of the bed once they get there. “Okay, sit here and chill out. Lemme know if you need to puke again.” She smiles down at her, and Azzi smiles weakly back, before the older girl is turning on her heel and walking out of the room, closing the door gently behind her. Another door opens somewhere down the hall and then one of the girls’ voices mixes in with Paige’s as the roommates converse too quietly for Azzi to really hear. She sighs and flops down on the bed, hands wringing nervously at her stomach as she stares at the ceiling.
She has really gotten herself into some shit this time.
Her phone starts buzzing from its place on the nightstand, and Azzi straightens up to check it, her mother’s face flashing on the screen. Anxiety coils in Azzi’s belly at the sight of her mother’s contact, which usually brings her so much comfort.
Ever since she and Paige ‘came out’ to their friends, Azzi has been avoiding her mother like the plague. She knows she should just come out and tell Katie, but she’s not sure what she should tell her.
Azzi knows that Katie would disapprove if she found out about their little scheme, the woman avidly against lying. But if Azzi were to tell Katie what they’ve been telling everyone else—that they are a disgustingly happy, perfectly real couple—she’d be lying to her mother. And with Katie being her main confidante throughout her entire life, Azzi’s never really been good at that. She hasn’t gotten enough practice.
Not without guilt, Azzi lets it go to voicemail, holding her phone close to her chest afterwards, lying back down. She feels nauseous again at just the thought of lying to her mom. But if she came clean, would Katie make her feel guilty about it? Urge her to tell the truth, even if it meant not helping Paige like she promised she would?
Just as Azzi’s about to head back to the bathroom, Paige comes to the bedroom, leaning through the doorframe. “Toast’s almost done, Az.”
Azzi nods but doesn’t move. Paige lingers, sensing that Azzi’s going to say something.
Finally, after some internal debate, Azzi says, “What do you think I should tell my mom?”
Paige frowns. “I thought you talked to her already.”
Azzi shrugs. “We haven’t called. I’ve been avoiding her, but I feel bad about it.”
Paige bites her lip like she always does when she’s thinking, and it eases some of the tension out of Azzi’s shoulders, softening her around the edges. She leans against the doorframe, looking right at Azzi. “Well, what do you wanna do?”
Azzi shrugs helplessly.
Paige scrunches her nose (very cutely) and says, “Honestly, I don’t think we should tell her. Not yet, at least.”
Azzi heaves out a breath, not liking the sound of that answer. “You think?”
“Yeah. Have you met your mom?” Paige smiles fondly. “Lady can’t keep a secret for shit.”
“You’re right.” Azzi hadn’t thought of that, the fact her mom’s the town gossip. “She’d probably have the truth out before we could even finish telling her.”
Paige nods in agreement. “Exactly. Plus, it’s easier to tell everyone the same story, right?”
“I guess.” Unsteady, Azzi pushes herself up from the bed, walking over to Paige slowly. “You still sure this is a good idea?”
“Even if I wasn’t,” Paige says, “we’re too deep in it now.”
Azzi looks up at her solemnly. “The point of no return.”
“Uh-huh.” Paige sighs out a breath, looking almost regretfully at the girl in front of her. “Sorry again, about asking you to do this. I know it’s kinda a whole thing now.”
Azzi’s shaking her head before Paige can even finish. “I already told you, it’s fine. We go to Montana soon, and before we know it we’ll be done.” Azzi’s stomach sort of sinks at the thought. No more flirting, no more cheek-kissing, no more Paige protectively slinging an arm around her shoulder while they’re in public like she’s telling everyone Azzi’s her’s.
Azzi manages what she hopes is an optimistic smile anyway. “Let’s go eat breakfast. And then I’ll call my mom back and we can tell her together?”
Almost as if reading her mind, Paige easily wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close as she leads her down the hallway. “Alright, ma. Sounds good to me.”
@smiths-fan--13 @ch12334
#paige bueckers#azzi fudd#pazzi fics#pazzi#fake dating#pazzi crumbs#paige buckets#paige x azzi#uconn wbb#wbb#wcbb#the people's princess
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WHB characters meeting their Obey Me! counterparts pt.2
⟡ Masterlist ⟡
A/N: Asmodeus is finally back in Hell and I'm finally able to make the second part to THIS post! I also included some more characters so it's not just the two leftover kings ^^
The scenario is still the same with OM!Solomon's spell going wrong and interconnecting the universes together
༺☆༻
Asmodeus
Okay, OM!Asmodeus has two reactions:
"Ooh? Such a brave outfit! And those thorns are so pretty!"
but then after a few seconds after he catches a whiff of the smell, he's about ready to die
If he manages to overcome this difficulty, they'd get along pretty well
WHB!Asmodeus doesn't really react... He does recognise OM!Asmodeus as another version of him and that's about it
Oh, but once they get to talking, you can rest assured that WHB!Asmodeus is pulling out the baby pics like the proud father of his little halfling army that he is
OM!Asmodeus' followers can also expect getting their timeline spammed with photos of these two because he just wants to commemorate this meeting as much as he can
༺☆༻
Belphegor
Depending on the time of day, both Belphies wouldn't even notice bc they're snoozin' the day away
But let's say they both happen to be awake at the same time
The first thing OM!Belphegor notices is the amount of piercings on WHB!Belphegor
Those must've been a pain to sleep with while they're healing
Also, once he finds out that WHB!Belphegor doesn't have to do anything and has people do everything for him, he's kinda jealous
WHB!Belphegor is kinda surprised to find out that another him is twins with Beelzebub
They're almost exact opposites, or not?
If their talk steers to the whole OM!Belphegor locked up in an attic thing, WHB!Belphegor will be kinda mad on his behalf, but secretly wish he was there so nobody'll bother him
A cute concept though: OM!Lucifer finally finds these two after dealing with the rest of brothers and sees them sleeping curled up together
OM!Belphegor curled up to WHB!Belphegor who's holding him like the bigger spoon
༺☆༻
Raphael
At a first glance, you'd think these couldn't be any further from each other, but don't let the look of OM!Raphael fool you
WHB!Raphael was quick to see through OM!Raphael's facade of cool and calm demeanor
OM!Raphael's critical eye immediately notices all the bandages on WHB!Raphael, but he chooses not to comment on it for now
...Somehow, he did not notice the blood splatters on WHB!Raphael's clothes, though?
Out of all the rooms with our guys seeing their counterparts, this is the one I'd like to be the least in
WHB!Raphael is a bit cuckoo and doesn't mind challenging his other self
And OM!Lucifer can't stop this from happening so, honestly, R.I.P.
There are no winners or losers
They fight until the whole thing is resolved and after that, the room is filled with OM!Raphael's spears and dead angels WHB!Raphael spawned in
༺☆༻
Michael
WHB!Michael at first thought he's just in a room with some other angel he didn't recognise
Until OM!Michael didn't speak up, that is
"I see, so this is me..."
"Wait, what tf do you mean me being you? You dare to think you're my equal?!"
WHB!Michael's short fuse is something that does surprise OM!Michael, but who doesn't have their quirks, right?
If OM!Michael manages to avoid triggering WHB!Michael, they could get along for the time being
Still, WHB!Michael doesn't want to believe there could be other version of him, so he suspects every action and word OM!Michael says
Afterwards, OM!Michael might even write a poem about their meeting
༺☆༻
Ppyong & Little D.
New besties for life alert!
These two little blob-demons instantly click and start sharing stories of their respective version of Hell
Don't tell Minhyeok, but Ppyong even forgets about him for a second
I'm not sure if Little D.s eat actual food, but I imagine that if Ppyong mentions how good sweets are, Little D. would tell other D.s about it and OM!Barbatos would get a heart-attack thinking rats got into his kitchen
But nope
Just a few curious mini demons, who heard that chocolate and other food is actually delicious
Oh, and if Ppyong is able to transform into Juno, I'm sure he'd do it just to flex on Little D.
Yes, Little D. gets jealous and once he's back, he's begging anyone and everyone to be able to do the same thing
Overall, these two are super adorable, and Ppyong is kinda like the older, cooler brother of Little D.
༺☆༻
Solomon
Two idiots trying to come up with a fix to the whole situation
(That was my initial note for how these two seeing each other would go and I'm keeping it :D)
Picture this: The room and everything is on fire, OM!Solomon's running around, trying to take the flames out and finish the spell that will undo his mesed up spell
WHB!Solomon is just louging on a sofa, unbothered by the whole commotion
Occasionally flirting with OM!Solomon
"Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?"
"There's fire everywhere."
"I've noticed"
"Are you gonna help me do something about this?"
"No~"
OM!Solomon knows OM!Lucifer will now hold this little mistake over his head for the next few centuries
There goes his chance to get a contract with him :/
༺☆༻
I also had an idea about writing the other demons meeting someone they have stuff in common with(Simeon&Gabriel, Cerberus&Naberius, Diavolo&All kings,...) but decided to not add it to this post, though if anyone wants that too, lmk ^^
#what in hell is bad#what in “hell” is bad?#whb asmodeus#om asmodeus#whb belphegor#om belphegor#whb raphael#om raphael#whb michael#om michael#whb ppyong#obey me little d#whb solomon#om solomon#obey me shall we date#obey me
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Don't think you understand
Summary: Quinn can't get ahold of his feelings, which leads him to push you away unintentionally.
Track 8 of short n' sweet - dumb & poetic
Warning! Slight miscommunication
A/N: This does have a happy ending :) and it's short. I apologize for that!! I just wanted to post something for the short n sweet masterlist(been delaying it)
And I gave you guys a bridgerton love confession kinda so enjoy that lmao
You haven't talked to him in weeks. The man was your best friend and you haven't talked to him in two months, how did this even happen?
Hmm, maybe when you had confessed your feelings to Quinn around the same time, you left without an answer, analyzing the blank look on his face, bringing enough of one for you.
This was your fifth tub of ice cream in two weeks, while on a call with Luke(and Jack, who also joined the supposed gossip session).
"Wait, so let me get this straight." Jack said, collecting his thoughts. "You told him you were in love with him, and he didn't say anything or have any reaction which led to you two not talking anymore?"
"Well, it certainly helps hearing it out loud." You grumbled.
"Sorry! I just need to recap so I know why I have to slap him when I next see him." Jack mutters the last part.
"You know, for him being the oldest, he sure is stupid." Luke chuckles.
"Pretty sure I'm the stupid one here, I mean, I thought he actually liked me back." You smiled Sadly.
"You think he doesn't like you in that way?" Jack asked, you nodded.
"Yeah, no, Quinn's definitely in love with you, Y/N. Have you seen the way he looks at you? The way his eyes seem to shine brighter when he talks about you." Luke shrugged.
"Okay, now you guys are feeding into my delusions." You rolled your eyes. "I lost my best friend because I couldn't control my feelings about him. And now I'm sitting on my kitchen floor, crying to Conan Gray while eating Ben & Jerry's."
There was a sudden knock on your door. Who could that be? It was late in the night in Vancouver.
"I'll be right back guys, don't hang up." You warned.
You walked up to the door and looked through the peephole and saw the man of the house standing on the other side. You unlocked it. How could you not?
"Quinn? What are you doin-?" You were cut off with Quinn kissing you passionately. You melted in the kiss before slowly breaking apart.
"I'm in love with you too." Quinn confessed. "I think I've been in love with you the moment I saw you falling off the swing when we were kids, if I'm being honest. It's very easy to fall in love with someone as special, charming, kind, heartless, caring, and comforting as you. I can't imagine being with anyone else other than you. And I don't even want to think about how sorry I am for not realizing it until now. But I love you Y/N, and I don't think I can ever stop - No, I know that I can't and won't."
Now it your time to be in shock.
"I understand if I'm too late, I just wanted you to know. I'm sorry for kissing you. I just wanted to know what it felt if it was the only time -" You cut Quinn off by kissing him.
"I love you too." You whispered. "Gosh you're so dumb and poetic."
Quinn chuckles. "What does that even mean?" He followed you into the house.
"Y/N!!! Did you get kidnapped? Omg Luke what if we gotta call the cops and tell them what happened and we gotta tell them she was crying about our idiotic brother-"
"Jack shut up." Luke looked at his brother bewildered.
"I'm just saying, could be a possibility." Jack mutters.
"I'm not dead guys." You picked up the phone.
"Y/N! You're alive. What happened? Who was at the door?" Luke asked, Jack chuckling behind him.
"Oh you know just this really hot guy." You answered simply.
"Okay? How hot was he? Is he gonna make you get over Quinn?" Jack asked.
"Very hot and no." You answered.
Quinn came into frame behind you, kissing you on your neck.
Jack and Luke's jaw drops. "No way!" "What the hell?"
"There are children present in this conversation, you guys are disgusting." Jack gestured to Luke who shoved him in response. "I'm 21!"
"Bye guys." Quinn hung up the phone.
"That was rude, you know." You looked back at him.
"I know, I just wanted to kiss you without them bickering." Quinn mumbles.
"And to think I was just crying over you not too long ago." You recalled.
"I'll make up for every tear you shed for my stupidity, I promise." Quinn's nose brushes yours.
"I know you will." You leaned in closer.
#luke hughes#nhl imagine#nhl#nhl hockey#nhl players#jack hughes#verycoolusername1#quinn hughes#quinn hughes fanfiction#quinn hughes blurb#quinn hughes x reader#quinn hughes imagine#qh43#vancouver canucks
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May never come to reality but im planning out a Animatic to AJR's 'Maybe Man' (sue me) and need some help filling in some of the parts.
(Its probably going to be about all the life series in general not specifically Wild life. but feel free to try it fit it all in one series)
!!!long post incoming!!!
General plan so far:
First Half(ish) will be calmly looking at hermits in their peaceful habitats talking about their insecurities.
Finishing the first half when we get to the god part it will be Grian before life series started pleading to watchers and becoming one himself then cutting to him and all the other lifers standing around in a circle (like the start of each series) (much wow)
ONE. TWO. PANDEMONIUM.
murder, just all of the scenes of people dying biggest polt twist, betrayals, and Amount of kills.
Also specifically a close up of grain seeing the server burning in the reflection of his eyes.
ending with another shot of the beginning of a server but we see grains eyes which are weathered and worn out and maybe has some watcher purple
Specific Lines:
Wish I was a stone, so I couldn't feel You'd yell in my face, it'd be no big deal But I'd miss the way we make up and smile Don't want to be stone, I changed my mind
Im thinking scar and Grian Desert Duo? also could be
I wish I had eyes in the back of my head Then I could see the places I've been But then I would know that you're talkin' shit I don't wanna know what my friends think
This im Deff thinking cleo bigb scott and lizzie from the Boogeyman series (i forgor wich one that is)
but open to other ideas
Wish I were my dog out on the lawn I'd be so glad when I hear you come home But if I were my dog, I wouldn't live long I'm sure gonna miss her when she's gone
This is pearl playing with a dog, you cannot fucking make me change my mind
I wish I could act in a show on TV 'Cause then I could practice not bein' me I'll practice my cry, put it into my reel But you won't believe me when I cry for real
im either thinking like Ren or Martyn because of the acting thing or one of the scenes usually portrayed as lots of crying (ie Scott at the end of double life)
I wish that my brain would triple in size I'd nail every joke, I'd win every fight But I'd get too deep with that kind of mind I don't wanna know the point of life
ive been thinking of this as jimmy in general but also i dont want to be mean so other ideas would be great
In some other life I would be rich I'd travel in style, I'd cover the bill But couldn't complain 'bout anything small Nobody'd feel bad for me at all
havent given much thought for ones after this but im thinking Scar on Magic mountain trying to scam everyone?
If I was cocaine or a bottle of Jack I'd get invited to every frat But when you get old and your good days have passed You'll only want me when you're sad
have there been any people that bounce between alliances during one series?
Wish I was a song, your favorite one You'd follow the dance to me at your prom I would be there when your baby is born For two or three minutes, then I'm gone
there was at least one dande floor that was a trap, right??
I wish I was big, as big as my house I'd sleep on the trees, I'd skip every crowd But I wouldn't fit on my therapist's couch God, I could really use him now
probably ep1 of WildLife
I wish I was God, I'd never trip up And if I did, well, so fuckin' what? I could be cruel and break all your stuff Yeah, I'd be loved no matter what
pov grain angst
grain is on super windy mountain top surrounded by watchers crying, pleading to them
But if I was God, it'd get kinda weird 'Cause you would only say what I wanna hear And then you would die, you'd love me to death I never know who the hell I am
grian is surrounded by purple light wings and eyes becoming at least in part, a watcher
I wish I was me, whoever that is I could just be and not give a shit Hey, I'll be whatever makes you a fan 'Cause I don't know who the hell I am
cut to peaceful tranquil plains, all of them jn a circle at beginning of life series laughing joking shaking hands hugging (set em up for emotional damage)
One, two, pandemonium
black, black, PAN DE MONIUM
cut to destruction of server only using reds browns and blacks showing carnage this series has brought (and yes ofc player has died messages will appear in the corner as if in chat)
One, two, pandemonium
im thinking each line will be each of the series in chronological order
Here I go again
One, two, pandemonium
Here I go again
One, two, pandemonium
One, two-
Here I go again
cut to beginning of ?wild life? they all have scars when their final kills have been, some look tired some look determined
if you end up making this animatic if you want to put me in the credits as like 'inspired by' :3 but honestly idc that much. but you HAVE to tell me if you post one bc i will watch the hell out of that
#god i need more tags
#traffic smp#traffic series#last life#double life#third life#life series#ajr#animatic#help#ideas#outline#grian#mumbo#goodtimeswithscar#skizzleman#implusesv#geminitay#tangotek#joel smallishbeans#ldshadowlady#zombiecleo#bigb#bdoubleo100#martyn inthelittlewood#scott smajor#rendog#jimmy solidarity#solidaritygaming#pearlescentmoon#ethoslab
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shared moments (dabi)
a handful of shared moments between you and your maybe more than friend, touya todoroki, the flame villain.
this is a prequel to the first fic i posted, pheonix, but it could be read as a standalone !
wc: 2.8k
reader is not described but is implied to have a quirk that makes them colder. i also imply that they're a nurse who frequently works with burn patients, including dabi's victims.
cw: 18+ ONLY !!! no smut, just kissing, grinding, and shirts come off but it ends pretty quickly after that. dabi accidentally wounds reader (a small burn from trying to wake him from a nightmare), mentions of abuse, murder, dying, and nausea. soft yet emotionally stunted and avoidant dabi
playlist: maybe by flower face, zombie by everglow, voidstar and longlegs by grim salvo
He’s shaking, head in your lap. You think he might be crying, but his hands are covering his face as he curls up as tight as he can. Dabi didn’t usually spend the night, but on rare occasion you can wrangle him into sleeping a few hours before running off who knows where. Tonight had been fun, daresay cozy, watching bad movies under a blanket so you could use him as a space heater and he could use you as an icepack.
It’s near four in the morning, far past when he usually sneaks out of your tiny apartment, when you awoke to his distress. He’d been squirming on his side of your too-small bed, mumbling and whimpering unconsciously. Even now, you don’t think he’s realized the small burn on your arm from trying to wake him, but you don’t move to soothe it; you’re too busy trying to soothe him. You rub his side over his shirt and pet a hand through his spiky hair even though he’s long since stopped shaking. You pretend you don’t care you have work in a few hours.
Now, he’s completely motionless, arms fallen to the cushion of the mattress. His voice is raspier than normal when he finally speaks, “…Sorry about that.”
“’S okay. I’ve seen worse.”
You both know he’s caused your ‘worse’.
“Do you wanna tell me what’s going on up here?” You tap your fingers softly against his temple. It’s a miracle he hasn’t moved yet.
“Don’t think that’s something you’d wanna hear about.”
“You can tell me anyways,” you can practically hear him go over the notion in his head. You met almost a year and you hardly know anything about the man besides his preferred snacks and the types of movies he likes to make fun of.
He thinks for a bit before stating, “you’ve never asked about my scars.”
You hum in agreement. The healed tissue is naturally textured but worsened from insufficient aftercare. The skin grafts look like they were done by someone with medical experience, at least. “Were you dreaming about when you got them?” The scar tissue on his face always made it look like the flames had tried to take him in its hands; like it wanted to soothe him. Console him. You want to do the same.
“Kinda,” he says after another long pause, like he’s trying to find the words, “maybe more like ‘why’.”
He can’t see you frown at that. You don’t like the implication it carries.
He’s quiet for a long time while you brush through his hair. It’s gotten longer- you think you can see blonde roots peak through the inky black.
“My old man…real shit guy,” he takes in a shaky breath and subtly curls deeper into your lap, “I’m gonna kill him one day.”
(You didn’t think he was serious, then.)
“All he cares about is power. He bought my ma so he could create a child more powerful than him. I’m the oldest of four- and his biggest failure,” you wince at the way he chuckles, “It’s funny. He got what he wanted. My youngest brother is a prodigy. He’s one of the top students at U.A.,” Dabi stops again, like he has to prepare himself for what he’s about to say, “I hated that kid for so long. Tried to kill him when he was a toddler, wanted to prove I was better than him. When I was twelve or thirteen I told dear old dad I got stronger,” another pause “He didn’t care,” another pause, like he’s debating telling you the rest at all, “I burned down half a forest, woke up three years later. The fucker who fixed me up showed me pictures of my funeral and everything. Ma got institutionalized not long after…but I gave myself a new name, since I died that day.”
“What was his name?” You ask impulsively. You wish you could take those words back, stuff them in your mouth and swallow them down
“Who’s?” He looks up.
“The boy who died.”
Dabi looks away again, contemplates before relenting, “Touya. Touya Todoroki”
“Touya sounds like a sweet kid. I hope he’s resting easy.”
It’s like the words flipped a switch in him. He shoots to sit up straight. His eyes are angry. Scared.
“You don’t know shit about him.”
“That’s not the point.”
He gets up, paces the length of the bed a few times, stops, looks at the ground, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t know shit about me.”
“And whose fault is that?” You really need to learn when to shut your stupid mouth.
He looks up. Sees you fully for the first time since waking. He can see the welt he caused on your arm in his post-nightmare panic. His anger dies. His eyes widen. You reach to slap your hand over it to shield it from view, but he has his jeans on and his jacket and boots in hand before you can find words to say. He’s out the door before you can ask him not to leave.
(You call out of work that day. You won’t hear from him for three weeks.)
Later that day, the search results for Touya Todoroki hurt as bad as you expected them to. There aren’t many paparazzi pictures of him, only a handful of him with his dad at award ceremonies.
His dad. Pro hero Endeavor.
The news coverage of his son’s death is minimal, and it’s mostly about Endeavor taking a leave of absence from hero duties to grieve with his family, but the obituary is public. The white haired boy in the picture looks so young. It’s not very detailed aside from denoting that his funeral was a private ceremony.
You open a new tab and search for fire related quirk malfunctions or natural disasters from around the same time. Its not hard to narrow down that the forest fire that destroyed Sekoto Peak was Dabi’s doing. The flames had been massive and unnaturally hot, nearly impossible to contain. There was barely anything left besides charred bone fragments from wildlife and the partial jawbone of the only human casualty they could find. The victim is unnamed, but it says the police were able to identify them through dental records and bring closure to the family.
There’s a handful of pictures of Endeavor at the scene. They make your stomach churn.
A third tab. Endeavor. There are news articles about his most recent achievements and a few about his youngest son, Shoto, who recently passed the entrance exams into U.A., just like Dabi said.
You feel nauseous.
It’s so comfy laying here wrapped around him like a koala. He’s cold and hot at the same time. There’s one hand cradling the back of your head to his chest while the other rubs your back over the blanket he draped over you.
You don’t usually let him in when work gets you like this. He’s usually the cause, being the most prolific fire quirked villain in the country, but you felt like you needed him today. A little boy had come in with his parents after his first quirk manifestation. All you could see was a young Touya Todoroki when you looked at him. Now all you feel is the pain you feel for the real thing who has you cradled in his arms like you’re more than maybe a friend.
Dabi is prickly when it comes to touch- despite the nerve damage, his scars are sensitive- but for you, he makes exceptions, especially since this is his first time seeing you since his meltdown last month. When he woke up in his dingy-ass apartment today, he knew he had to see you, knew something was wrong. His gut was right. You practically collapsed crying in his arms when you opened the door.
You’ve barely said anything since he’s settled the two of you down on your bed. Every time he thinks about saying something, you burrow impossibly closer into his chest like if you try hard enough you can crawl in his ribs and clean out all the ash and soot that make him up.
He wants to apologize for how he left. He wants to tell you he was scared, that he’s still scared, because he’s never let anyone get close the way you have, and he doesn’t know why he yearns for you to be closer. It’s the only time he ever wishes things had gone differently. If he was closer to a normal guy, less of one of the most wanted villains in the country, maybe he’d let himself be happy to be known by you.
But the only thing Dabi can do is destroy. He burns too hot to be anyone’s light.
Dabi is ruthless. He’s a monster, a villain, a killer; there’s nothing that could clean the blood from his hands.
That doesn’t stop him from pretending things are different, even if just for a moment. You’re naturally cooler to the touch and he finds it hard to imagine ever choosing to be anywhere but in your arms. It’s such an unfamiliar feeling.
Dabi’s never had to comfort someone before. He’s never really wanted to, either.
He isn’t one to be soft or kind or comforting. It’s all so confusing. How do you drag this out of him? Why is he so content with this moment? Something about you makes him different. He doesn’t know what to do with that.
He’s scared. He’s angry. He’s unhappy.
You pull yourself away from him completely, scooting to lay on your back on the other side of your bed.
“Sorry,” you mumble, “you can go now. That was probably really uncomfortable for you. You can leave now, if you want.”
Your eyes are so empty. He’s never seen you like this. He doesn’t know what to do. He thinks he wants to stay, make his last visit up to you with more time tonight, but would you rather he go? Should he ask about what upset you? This is so new to him.
He leaves.
The next time he’s over, you pretend to not notice the tension in the air. You move around in your usual sync, gathering snacks and scrolling through the worst rated movies you can find. You feign obliviousness to the way his eyes linger on you for longer than usual and curl up on the opposite side of the choice from him, like the months of slowly shifting closer to each other didn’t happen.
The jokes are bored and the laughs are empty.
He doesn’t spend the night. You don’t ask him to. He doesn’t know why he feels so hollowed out when he leaves.
A few weeks later, after watching movies and ignoring elephants in rooms, you fall asleep. Dabi waits, lets whatever’s playing continue to run while he watches you breathe in and out at a steady rhythm.
The credits roll. He turns off the T.V. and welcomes the darkness lit only by the city as he gets up to lay you down on your little couch. He’s never done this for you before- he doesn’t know why he’s doing it now. Your eyes flutter open as he kisses your forehead and tucks you into your blanket you keep out here.
(He did it without thinking, like it was natural, a habit. He was a big brother, once. He hadn’t realized that part of him survived.)
You look up at him as he stares down at you, eyebrows furrowed at his surprised expression. His eyes flicker to your lips without his permission. He’s already leaning over you, it’d be so easy to crawl on top of you, kiss you, wherever and however you want.
He doesn’t know what possesses him to do it. Maybe it’s Himiko’s insistence he grow up and take the risk, maybe it’s a moment of weakness where he allows himself to forget who and what he is, but he’s pressing a soft kiss to your lips without realizing. The contact makes your head jerk back, eyes wide in shock, surprise, wonder. You look at him like there’s something worthy of being looked at. His mouth moves to apologize, but you’re shooting your hands to hold his scarred cheeks and pressing you lips to his before he can try. Your skin is so cold against his had surprised at the lack of steam. He thinks you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.
He doesn’t reciprocate in his shock. His response is even further delayed by the fact that he’s never done this before. He feels like a teenager- or what he imagines what being a teenager under more normal circumstances would allow him. As you move to pull away, afraid you’ve somehow overstepped, Dabi is snapped out of his shock, and he’s pulling you back in. His kiss is messy, wet, spit slick as his tongue licks into your mouth with no hesitation. The taste of his urgency is unexpected but he feels so incredible you can hardly stand it. You revel in the way his dull nails bite into your skin when you whimper at the sensation.
His hands are heavy as they make their way down your body, nearly pushing like he needs a constant reminder that this is real. Before you know it, he’s on the couch, on top of you, pushing at your shirt and you’re pulling it over your head in compliance. Dabi takes the moment to yank off his own; his torso is a marble of normal and scarred skin with a shiny barbell through each nipple. You wonder briefly if the metal is hot like the rest of his skin as his lips crash back into yours. One hand in your hair, the other on your waist- he’s pushing you down, pulling you in, until he's all but crushing you in his desperation.
You moan when he lets up, “Dabi-“
“No, no- don’t call me that. I don’t want to feel like a villain with you,” he’s equally breathless, practically heaving above you.
“…Touya?”
Your uncertainty is immediately discarded when he fully moans at the sound of his given name on your lips, “yes, yes, thank you-“ and he’s kissing you again, cradling your face like you’re porcelain but grinding down like you’re the farthest thing from fragile.
His grip tightens when the pressure of his hips makes you moan.
The weight of his body makes you dizzy. His lips and hands move down your neck, licking, biting, and sucking at all the skin newly exposed to him and it feels so good you don’t now what to do with yourself. You decide on shoving your hands in his hair; you’re pulling it at the root when he bites down next, and he’s moaning into your throat like it might kill him to be quiet.
What does he want from me? The question crashes through your brain like a bullet. You don’t know if you want to actually ask. Would it be so bad to let this happen, just to have him close like this? Is the burden of wanting from afar easier to carry than having him halfway? Yes. Of course it is.
Your sudden unresponsiveness stills him. He pulls away to find your eyes distant and face neutral.
“Touya?” You ask after a silent minute filled with his thumbs rubbing circles in your waist, “what did that mean? To you, for us?”
He gulps, “I don’t know.”
He hadn’t thought this far ahead. He hadn’t thought at all.
“You don’t know,” you echo.
He’s off you before you can decide what to make of his answer.
“Sorry, don’t know why I did that- sorry,” you think you hear as he fumbles around for his coat and his boots. You don’t say anything. You don’t even look at him. Instead, you focus on the ceiling it’s almost too dark to see. You think you hear him pause at your door, but your head is so loud and intelligible you aren’t paying attention.
The static doesn’t block out the sound of your front door shutting, though.
(Neither of you realize he left his shirt behind until after he’s already out the door. You pretend you resist the urge to cuddle it to catch his scent on it, and he will pretend he doesn’t imagine you doing just that.)
Ever the coward, Touya runs. He throws up his shame once he’s in his own apartment. He knows he shouldn’t have left. He didn’t want to- but he didn’t know how to stay either.
He hates himself more than he has in a long time for tonight.
His burner buzzes in his pocket. It’s Shigaraki. plans in motion.
He doesn’t think you’ll forgive him for doing this, but it’s been building since before he met you. It’s not like he has any sort of life or future to look forward to anyways. It’s not like he gives you much to miss anyways.
Soon. Endeavor’s head. Soon.
dividers by @/issysh3ll and @/thecutestgrotto
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#dabi bnha#dabi mha#dabi x reader#dabi angst#mha angst#bnha angst#touya todoroki angst#touya todoroki x reader#ʚїɞ dabi#ʚїɞ lauren wrote what
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take care of me (like i take care of you) pt. 2
pairing: jemily x adhd!reader
word count: 2.3k
warnings: reader’s kinda bratty in this one! reader is confused as to why being bratty is making them feel tingly but they like it so they keep doing it, softdom!jj begins to make an appearance, color system usage, the origin of jj refusing to be called mommy (she has a moment™️)
a/n: hi besties!! i wrote this on my phone because i can’t find my laptop charger so please excuse any sort of typos you find! thats also why the beginning of this post currently isn’t formatted like the other ones but soon as i can charge my laptop i’ll be fixing it. there will be a part three to this! i had to find a good place to end or else this would have been a beast to read lol.
ps. when i wrote this i was 100% imagining white tank top!jj and emily in the burgundy lululemon looking sweatshirt from the episode where they’re building the crib for kristy and matt ;)
you couldn’t contain your excitement as you basically tripped over your feet to run up to jj’s audi, jumping up and down in your seat as you waited for your girlfriends to join you. it was five minutes past nine and everyone was ready so naturally you ran to the car. you had been ready for two hours, but that was only because you had gotten up so early. you had everything you could possibly need in your little cross shoulder body bag and had to stop yourself from biting your fingernails to the quip in pure excitement as you waited. emily came out first, slipping you your preferred chewy necklace that was easy to hide under your shirt. as soon as the chewy end of it entered your mouth, emily’s hands reached around you and wrapped the black string around your neck. without realizing it you naturally leaned into her touch, pulling her hand toward your cheek as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt while you stared at the door leading inside the kitchen. jj came out a few minutes later, her to-go cup of coffee tucked neatly away in the crook of her arm as she started to pull up the directions to the zoo.
jj slid into the drivers seat with ease, smiling at you as she saw the way you were sitting. she grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze before placing your phone in it, chuckling lightly at the layer of blush that ended up on your cheeks as you sheepishly took it from her. your block blast game was still up on the screen as you left it on the bathroom counter when you started doing your makeup. jj started the car and reversed out the driveway, leaving you to become reimmersed in your game. before you knew it you could just start see the sign for the zoo on the water tower peeking over the houses in the distance, meaning you were just about ten minutes away.
“lovey, besides seeing the giraffes, is there anything you want to do today?”
“um… i haven’t seen the elephants in a long time.” you paused, thinking. “and also the lions, i want to see the lions too.”
“do you think we could fit in a visit to the lemurs?” jj shot a glance to you. “i quite like lemurs.”
you nodded. “we can definitely see the lemurs.”
you made a mental note to yourself that jj liked lemurs, adding it to the little box that you had in your brain with facts about your girlfriends. it was mainly filled with silly little facts that most people wouldn’t normally pay attention to, like the fact emily writes in print script or that jj only eats salt and vinegar chips when she’s high. sure, there were the obvious facts that almost everyone on the team knew, but there were ones that were just your facts. and you wanted to keep them that way.
despite being a fully grown adult, you knew deep down that things like this were needed to help heal your inner child. you didn’t have the best childhood, but you were doing your best to fix it now. you bounced anxiously on the balls of your feet as you waited for the train to take you to the back of the zoo, the wind blowing your hair all around your face as you waited. jj silently pulled you toward her and helped you pull your hair back, putting it in a single braid for you.
by the time you got to the giraffe exhibit you could barely contain your excitement, your hands balling into fits and promptly unballing themselves as you tried to combat the need to stim. your arms stiffened as you tried to hold back your energy, shaking a bit as you focused on staying still as you could. that didn’t last long, seeing as there wasn’t many people around you at the moment and your girlfriends were positioned behind you. you let your hands start flapping, doing your best to keep them close to your sides as possible. a small squeak of noise came out of your mouth as you watched the zoo keepers slowly bring out the stars of the event. the crowd around you started to grow as the people made their way up from the front of the zoo, most of them not paying you any attention and instead looking for the little baby that the zoo was celebrating.
slowly but surely the calf made it's way out of the enclosure, still a little unsteady on it's feet. you watched in awe as it made it's way around the exhibit, noting how small it was compared to it's parents. jj wrapped her arms around you from behind, intertwining her fingers with your hands and placing a kiss on your shoulder. you could tell she was standing on her tip toes to reach your shoulder and made sure to flatten your feet, considering you tended to stay on your tip toes when you got too excited about things.
“how tall do you think he is?”
“i’d guesstimate around 6 feet.” you rocked up and back down to flat feet as you spoke. “giraffes give birth standing up so they fall roughly six feet to the ground but get up on their feet within the hour.”
“you know more about giraffes than i thought.”
“i had a hyperfixation on wild animals and the care of them before i ended up in the academy. i was wanting to double major in zoology and communications before i started to look into paths to go down with a communications degree.” you turned to face jj and emily. “i was going to be an advocate for animal rights but then i started reading about the fbi and decided that would probably be a better path to go down.”
before you could continue your thoughts, the chime that sounded before the giraffe feedings sounded, signaling for everyone who had a ticket to line up. you were closer to the end, whch was fine because it meant you could watch the giraffes for longer. emily and jj made sure to take pictures of you the whole time, smiling and laughing along with you as the giraffe’s tongue tickled your hand while it ate the leaves you held out. by the time you got out of the exhibit, your stomach started to rumble and you pouted towards your girlfriends as you walked past one of the many cafés scattered around the zoo. without a word, emily pulled the three of you inside, telling you to order whatever you wanted. you ended up going for the chicken tenders and fries, knowing that the meal was something you most likely would have gotten when you came as a child. it was hard to remember if you ever came, but you presumed it was what you got because it felt right.
by the time the three of you made it to the halfway point, you started to realize your whole body was beginning to hurt. you weren’t sure if it was from physically stopping yourself from stimming in the bigger crowds, or if it was from all the walking you had done. either way, you found yourself starting to slow down a bit and start to feel like you needed a ten hour nap. it was only when you got toward the lemur exhibit when your body really started to hurt, and you unintentionally started to let it slip into your mind that you were hurting and needed to go home.
jj was the first to notice that you were starting to feel off, clocking the heaviness of your walking and the fact you had started to get a little whiney. there had been approximately three times in the five years she had known you that she had ever seen you this way. and all of those times happened when you were over exerting yourself. most of the times it was because you were stubborn, but this time it didn’t seem that way. within ten minutes you were complaining about how much your feet hurt and how you felt like you were going to die if you didn’t get to sit down within the next five minutes. emily and jj fell a few steps behind you, whispering to each other about how to go about the situation.
“do you think she’s subconsciously wanting us to.. i dunno, take control? lacey mentioned something about that at the support group on saturday.”
jj chewed at the end of her necklace. “it's possible. i’m willing to try it if you are, but the second they push back or show any signs of not going along with it i’m stopping.”
“are you going to take the lead on this?”
“if you don’t mind. we know how easily they’ll react to you, i’m curious what would happen if you didn’t say anything but i did.”
“then do it. i trust you.”
jj squeezed emily’s hand before making her way back over to where you sat on the bench, watching the zebra walk by and graze on the grass in front of you. you definitely looked worse for wear, considering the braid your hair had been in all day was beginning to come undone and you most definitely got sunburned on your shoulders at some point. jj knew you weren’t feeling well, and that you were hiding it in order to appease her and emily. it was something she had noticed multiple times throughout their time with you so far. even if you didn’t feel like doing something, you typically would put on a happy face and go through with it anyway. it hadn’t happened much, but she had started to catch it more and more.
“y/n, it’s time to go.”
“what? no!” you gasped. “we haven’t even been to the polar bears yet!”
“i know, and i know you want to finish it but i’m calling it.” jj stepped closer to you, her voice dropping. “you’re tired and need to go home and rest. i’m giving you til the count of five, and if you don’t get up and come with us to the car we won’t go to dolphin beach this weekend.”
“you wouldn’t!”
“five.”
“jayje- this isn’t fair! em-my, do something!” you whined, staring at the brunette.
“two.” jj raised an eyebrow as you refused to budge. “fine, we stay, but no beach then.”
“i’d listen to her if i were you.” emily replied. “while we haven’t truly gotten into that dynamic with you just yet, i will say that i’d be careful how much you go against her, lovey.” emily gave you a pointed look before clasping her hands together. “that being said, we use the color system. red means hard stop, yellow means i’m uncomfortable and green means go.” emily paused. “color?”
“green.”
“good. if anything changes, tell jj. i’m going to go to the ladies room, i’ll meet you up by the gates.”
emily placed a kiss on jj’s cheek and simply patted you on the shoulder before walking towards the front of the zoo, leaving you alone with the blonde. the logical part of your brain knew she was right. you were tired, your body was aching and you couldn’t walk for more than five minutes without having to sit down. but on the other hand, you were having fun poking the bear. reluctantly you got up, huffing and making a big deal of going home. you didn’t understand much about the way it was making you feel, but you knew it sent a tingle through your body seeing jj getting all worked up. it was amusing to you how red she got from you simply being a brat. and frankly, you liked it.
“you’re being unfair!”
“this attitude stops now, y/n. we’re going home.”
you bit your tongue cheekily, a glint forming in your eyes as you waited to see jj’s reaction. “mommy, you’re being mean to me.”
jj whipped her head to you, balling her hand into a fist at the side of her body. “what did you just call me?”
“… mommy?”
jj stopped walking suddenly, causing you to bump into her. “red.” she swallowed. “i’d like to talk about that later, when we’re home. not right now.”
“i’m sorry.” you looked at the ground, mortified. “it won’t happen again.”
a wave of guilt overtook your body as you two quietly walked to the front of the zoo, emily sensed some tension the second she saw you two, but knew that if she said anything you would probably start to spiral. by the time you got back to the car, all you could do was slip into the backseat and hope that jj wasn’t do mad at you that she was going to end everything. emily, albeit confused, took the front seat, trying to get an accurate read on jj. something happened while she was in the bathroom, but she couldn’t place a finger on what exactly that something was. by the time jj pulled into the driveway, the tension in the car had gotten so thick you couldn’t hold your tears back, letting them fall slowly down your cheeks as you forced yourself not to sob.
“go to our room. i’m going to compose my thoughts, give us a minute to calm down, then i’ll come talk to you.”
“o-okay.”
jj waited until you got out of the car to look at emily. “i called red.”
“what happened?”
“she called me mommy. i didn’t like it. i felt… gross. it was almost… too feminine?” jj looked at emily. “i probably sound crazy but-“
“you’re allowed to not like the way it makes you feel, jay.”
“i just don’t understand why it made my skin crawl.”
“may i.. is that why you don’t like being called beautiful or pretty?”
jj’s head snapped up. “huh?”
“the feminine terms. you don’t like them.”
“not necessarily, no.”
emily nodded. “we don’t have to unravel this now, but we need to put a pin in this. the three of us need to talk about that together so we’re all on the same page.”
“you’re right. can you go check on them? i just need… i need to think about how i’m going to articulate everything.”
“of course.” emily squeezed jj’s hand. “come up when you’re ready.”
“i will. promise.”
taglist: @jayden-prentiss @idkwhatever580 @multifandomlesbianic @softestqueeen
#jemily x reader#jemily one shot#jemily oneshot#jemily imagine#criminal minds#criminal minds imagines#criminal minds one shot#criminal minds oneshot#jennifer jareau#jennifer jareau imagines#jennifer jareau imagine#jennifer jareau fanfiction#jennifer jareau fanfic#jennifer jareau x reader#jennifer jareau x you#jennifer jareau x y/n#jennifer jareau x emily prentiss#emily prentiss#emily prentiss one shot#emily prentiss oneshot#emily prentiss x reader#emily prentiss x you#emily prentiss x y/n#oh to be loved by you (two) universe
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somethings that i needed to get out regarding today's episode:
9-1-1 live airs in the US around 7 am Friday in my country and i get to watch it at 10:30 am on disney hotstar.
I couldn't wait so i was awake all night and was literally on twt since 6:30 am to get some clips.
that's where i find out that bucktommy break up.
i have been devastated all day. i have cried multiple times and i have literally lost count atp. it hurts like an actual breakup and i have absolutely no one irl to share this grief with.
the Abby being the ex-fiance wasn't even a major issue. i have been seen it done so well in so many fics.
Josh's speech was so beautiful and important but then to pull a breakup like that makes no fucking sense.
after what we saw in 8x5 breaking them made absolutely zero sense.
i was too overwhelmed so i tried to sleep and actually watched the entire episode around 11 am. I wanted to keep and open mind and analyse the episode.
twt is literally so toxic rn. I'm not even opening it.
after watching the entire episode i was even more confused as the breakup made zero sense.
we have had 8 seasons of character growth for buck, if they end up making him go back to casual relationships it just feels a complete wastage of 8 seasons of growth.
and from what we've seen in the past episodes the breakup was completely uncharacteristic to both buck and tommy.
it made no sense. why would tommy put so much effort if he knew it wouldn't last.
him constantly showing up for evan and talking about family just made zero sense for him to break up like that.
also it kinda felt weird to bring moving in together before saying i love yous.
and the way he said "the parking spot was too good to be true". this breakup doesn't feel good at all. he was obviously in pain and so was buck. this isn't doing any of them any good.
utter bullshit.
plus the "I'll see you around buck" broke me. like why the fuck would you do that to me and to buck.
it felt like someone put fucking alcohol all over a stab wound and then rubbed salt all over it.
LOW BLOW.
now coming to the post ep interviews which btw made it worse.
i was still under the impression that the way the breakup happened there was still hope for reconciliation because remember even tarlos went through breakups.
but then lou confirmed he might not be back and that this is it. specially that buck line. UGH.
and that #letbuckfuck interview with oliver really triggered me. I'm a bisexual woman and the reason i really loved buck's discovery of his sexuality was bcs Oliver was very determined in Givin a good bi rep.
but this doesn't feel that way. he could have said that he wants to see buck explore his sexuality more with both men and woman but the whole "girl, girl, guy. guy, girl, guy" montage was a very disturbing image.
it feels very stereotypical and biphobic.
it just hurts me so much. idk why i expected so much from a network tv show who has been queerbating for years.
i am gonna be watching this season just to see how they salvage buck's relationship and sexuality. it feels incomplete.
but if it goes in the buck 1.0 direction that's it for me.
i watch 911 as an escape from reality and if it goes so bad i am not continuing with the show.
it has already tested my limits and mental health enough.
also i need to point out that there are a lot of people who enjoy watching sports a lot more than they enjoy playing it. buck is a watcher. he would have loved seeing the Lakers match. just bcs he doesn't like to play doesn't mean he hates basketball.
a little extra side notes-
really excited for another buckley han kid. hope they don't ruin it. want to see how they deal with ppd this time.
also happy for eddie and really hoping he gets chris back soon.
ya'll need to understand how platonic friendship buddie is also so important rn then them getting together bcs eddie is def not ready to date.
if he starts dating he'll feel super guilty for putting his desire above chris all over again.
ALSO FOR PEOPLE IN THE BACK- EDMUNDO DIAZ IS CANON STRAIGHT.
#911#911 abc#bucktommy#evan buckley#tommy kinard#911 season 8#i'm literally sobbing#i'm just gonna cry myself to sleep now#thinking about tevan#eddie diaz#madney#maddie buckley#maddie han#chimney han#911 08x06#fuck you universe#i hate today#i hate twt fans#and i really despise myself for getting so emotionally involved to a fictional character again#they can never make me hate you tommy kinard#lou ferrigno jr#oliver stark#tevan
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💾🖍❤️ for the ask game :D
💾- What is your document of your wip/ a wip called? (Not the stories actual title but you’ve saved it as)
This one isn’t the fantasy ones name (Because that title is decided on-) so one of my other wip’s is titled under: Exploiting Fears. Good luck figuring what that one might be about haha- (I guarantee you won’t get it right >:3)
🖍️- Post any sentence from your wip
I was in a good mood and decided to do a sentence from all three of my main wip’s :D
I stared back at the deep purple iris’s that seemed to stare deep into my soul, faltering any kind of thoughts of an escape from my mind.
——————
“I wouldn’t have done it if he wasn’t shocked for no reason! He saved my life who knows how many times in there and you punish him for it? I’d say you’re all the crazy ones in here. If you wanted someone who saw everything your way, why not get someone older than a fifteen year old boy who apparently doesn’t see everything like you all do! It’s sad how someone as weak and frail like me has to do a job made for adults!”
(I know it’s more than a sentence but why not the entire paragraph?)
——————
I gulped, hiding behind a wall, not really helping in this situation since his head turned in my direction anyways, and him walking to where I was hidden.
❤️-
Thank you so much!!! ❤️ It means a lot to me TwT (Times are stressful out here haha-)
Also, YEAHHHH CEDAR YOU’RE BACKKKK AGHHHHH
#Duck asks#Wip ask game#I hope you enjoy those little paragraphs haha-#Just TRY to figure out what that one wip is about#You won’t get it#because I barely see any g/t about it#Hahaa im evil#But seriously this is so fun#I hope you guys have some more asks about these wip’s ngl#This kinda makes me want to post one of them now#Maybe#Just maybe#love you guys ❤️
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ultimately i think my insistence on aro positivity honestly is as much a political stance as a personal one.
when i say aro positivity is crucial and that i dislike doomer-ist posts that express sentiments like 'I hate being aro so much I wish I was dead instead’ it's not because I don’t think there can and should be a space for negativity and acknowledging self-hate, or the many ways being aromantic can really suck sometimes. i find that to be very important!
that being said. there is smth here about how self-hate posts are sometimes just arophobia that we inflict on ourselves. and when we put that out into the ether it (intentionally or not) can become arophobia that we inflict on other members of the community. i think there absolutely needs to be a place for negativity and the expression of anger and frustration and self loathing even - these are all good things to talk about because these are things that we experience. that being said, it can also be genuinely upsetting and triggering to people to have what is essentially arophobia shown to them and then have that be validated by other aspec people. your personal thoughts can affect your wider community on a level you may not anticipate. and i understand it i truly do! it took me so long to be able to recover from accepting being aroace - it threw my entire world off kilter and made me question everything about my place in the world.
but my insistence on aro joy and positivity is because ultimately i do believe that building is at the core essence of it all. that ultimately discussions and the purpose of community should be about construction, not destruction. and this is both a personal and a political stance. talking about how much you hate yourself and cultivating online discussions/spaces where negativity about aspec identity is the main and only theme is destructive - if that’s where we let the conversation end. these thoughts can and should be used as a vehicle to look for a path forward!
joy and positivity create a space where the focus can become on forging a path forward, on construction, on community building instead of tearing ourselves and others down with negative thoughts. it’s not productive or healthy when it stops at a place of negativity - it becomes actively destructive to the essence of community.
and i do think that this is especially poignant considering the fact that being any kind of queer, but especially aromantic (and/or asexual) means forging a path for yourself and making your own happiness where there is no obvious way forward. our communities exist mostly online (right now, anyway), there is little recognition of our existence in the real world, the effects of amatonormativity are both pervasive and actively dehumanising, and there are legal, economic and social structures in place actively making our lives more difficult. yes that all sucks! it’s good to acknowledge that. we need to in order to change it. but more importantly, that’s not the end. we are still here and our happiness, our future is for us to determine. even if we can’t change the laws or society, loving yourself and understanding aromanticism as a political identity (as well as personal), as a radical worldview, and as a protest against amatonormativity is essential for both community and personal well being. the personal is political.
tldr. i guess my point is that as a community, we should focus on building, improving, and nurturing ourselves and each other (construction) as opposed to destruction. we should recognise aromanticism and asexuality as political identities as well as personal ones and rely on community and self-love in the absence of anything else as a form of protest and political power. destruction (the recognition of everything that is wrong) is essential as a starting point - but where do we go from there? we rebuild.
#aromantic#aro positivity#aspec#aroace#aro#aromantic joy#arospec#when i saw its important to 'love' yourself - pls understand i am in no way trying to exclude loveless aros from this#that was just the easiest way to express what i meant! when i say 'love' i mean positivity/respect/happiness. etc. i just used that word bc#it works for ME which is why i said it. but feel free to replace it with whatever works for you! <2#also sorry if not everything im saying makes total sense i tried my best#this is something ive been thinking about for a while and have been struggling to articulate#i maybe should have read some theory for this abt community building but im too tired + overwhelmed w school reading right now so sorry.#if anyone has additions on that front though please do add them#also ngl im kinda scared to post this. i hope i explained what i mean well enough. like i get wanting to vent and express self hate BUT.#there is nuance to this and it is not unilaterally healthy i think. also i dont see any other online community fostering the normalisation#of selfhate the way the aspec one does! which makes me feel weird abt it especially.#anyway. this is basically my personal philosophy towards aromanticism#mossy posts#⚙️
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kill your darling, it's just that easy!
#tlt#my art#i reblogged these outfits the other day that were giving me big ianthe & naberius vibes so i wanted to draw something with them#got really funky w/ this one! i just wanted to play around i havent had the chance to draw in a while#so i just kinda let myself do whatever w/ the colors and art style and everything#idk how i feel about it but it was fun#anyway ive seen some posts suggesting that ianthe somehow cheated the system by sacrificing naberius and like...#no she absolutely did not? she paid that price exactly by the book (making her one of the few to actually do so)#and now she suffers forever for it :)#oh the line on top is a quote from the book and the caption is a lyric from 'kill your darling' by cloudy june#(which aside from that one line is not at all a ianthe&naberius song lmao)
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Things I make for myself when insomnia kicks in
Just a chart about what I wanna change up and keep consistent in my art - I mainly wanna draw Raph with a tail because he deserves one, it fits too well. Donnie gets a long tail too because I didn’t realize how dino-like he looks until I gave him one, and now it’s a must for me haha.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#note these are veryyy much for my own art so by all means ignore this completely for your own unless it resonates#these are just my personal headcanons#I’ve been getting more and more fond of the turtles having tails - especially Raph whose design honestly feels more complete with one#I also am now attached to Donnie having a long tail too because 1) he looks cute with one and it really works for him and-#2) I LOVE giving the Brains and Brawn duo more stuff in common#I could write an essay about how many things Brains and Brawns duo has in common in general#but also portal duo as well!!#we already know that Mikey and Leo look a LOT alike#so I think it’s cute when Raph and Donnie have stuff like that in common with each other too#like how canonically Donnie’s sclera are on the yellow side like Raph’s#anyway I’m sorry if this is a random post I am very tired and still have not slept#ALSO yeah i wanted an excuse to doodle April it’s been too long i missed her#I’m excited to finish this comic up to show the OTHER reason I gave Donnie a long tail#I made this in like five minutes because working on my comic was not working out#also Draxum totally has a tail he’s a sheep#I lean away from Mikey and Leo having longer tails mainly because their designs are already so busy#with all the colors and shapes present on them#so to me longer tails kinda takes away a bit#meanwhile Raph and Donnie are more monochrome in comparison so I feel like tails only help them?#I think as well Donnie’s torso/carapace being on the shorter side makes a tail balance him out#(me trying to justify the visual gag im putting into the comic for literally only two panels)#didn’t draw the caseys because I am tiredddd#and they would have just ended up where April is anyway
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They are taking over
#localgardenweed#the weed is rambling#mr osomatsu#osomatsu san#osomatsu matsuno#karamatsu#karamatsu matsuno#choromatsu#choromatsu matsuno#ichimatsu#ichimatsu matsuno#jyushimatsu#jyushimatsu matsuno#todomatsu#todomatsu matsuno#i did these yesterday but i only posted now cause this road trip is making me reqtahc my entire life to push through#i wanted to screw around with artstyles cause art block hit like a truck and you know how to fix that?#ART STYLE FRANKENSTIEN!!!!!!#yeah that is how my style evolves and its okay yall do a little mad sciences#these little shits hold a space in my heart#dni blmatsu#GET THAT SHIT OUTTA HERE OUT OUT GET OUT#also i wanted to find out how to draw them in my own way so like they aren’t totally exact#like i know they are sextuplets but they got different swaggers#favorite one i made is Karamatsu like YASSS QUEEN SLAAAYYYYY#Jyushi is a work in progress cause idk how i should do his hair cause its kinda just a mix of Todomatsu and Osomatsu#he needs his swagger
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CASTIEL: Stop. What's the point if you don't mean it? You fear me - not love, not respect, just fear.
[youtube with closed captions]
a godstiel pity party. i'd like to thank an anon i got way back in february of 2021.
#spn#vid#spnamvarchive#so fun fact i started making this more than a year ago. got it 90% done. and then was like no this isn't working#i will come back to this later.#it turns out that i needed to make some videos about cas and angels (the love club + help i'm alive amvs)#in order to make this one. anyway this video is about french mistake robert singer voice season six#i really struggled with it because i could NOT find the thread until i realized that it needed to be literally godstiel pov#it's about love and desire and jealousy and hurt and omnidirectional rage <3#it's about the fact that cas is so utterly dependent on dean for his self-image - however dean sees him that's it#it's about having a moment of reflection about lashing out before you do it but doing it anyway#it's about taking cruelty and dishing it out#and crucially. it's about being pregnant#mpregpocalypse#fun fact: i made a post about working on three season six amvs all the way back in nov. 2022#and only now have they come to fruition (this one + love club + metric)#anyway. have you heard that cas is obsessed#the thing is i do kinda want to add some specific director's commentary here. like the first verse is about cas being like.#incredibly deeply emotionally vulnerable to dean. as in: his emotional state and self-image is totally dominated by what dean thinks of him#and if dean is mad at him. and then the second verse is about... dean upsetting him and him responding to that by Killing Everybody lol#like he has a moment of reflection ['certain regrettable things are now required of me' + killing rachel] where he's like i've 1) also done#bad things and 2) i feel bad about it so maybe i will regret Killing Everyone. but then he does it anyway due to everybody keeps turning#on him. i feel like the rest of the amv is self evident. i guess i should note that 'share a paradise' is about how both of them have#a nostalgic view of the early days of their relationship when it wasn't Like This lol. but everything else i think is self evident.#oh and the reason the other angels flash onscreen with their burned wings at the end is i'm EVOKING the image of cas' wings burning. even#though it doesn't happen. i'm evoking it
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Fanfiction is so goated actually
No monetary incentive, just writing in one's free time. Some incentive for like kudos and comments, because who doesn't want to hear that someone else enjoyed what they wrote. Just writing a story that is good and/or enjoyable, no real-life pressure to keep it going because god forbid you and other people are depending on it financially.
Writing a story because you want to write a good story, so you can write what they want the way you want, at a pace that is realistic for you, with exactly the plot pacing you want there to be.
#c*rny posts#thinking about this after the my h*ro academia leaks lmao#i have read barely a few chapters of the manga and then kept up with it through tumblr osmosis#i was interested in how its gonna end#and after reading the leaks i was like 'well its up to the fanfic writers to write a good ending now'#cause. it was kind of underwhelming. like some stuff made sense and some things were just done badly#which is realistic considering h*rikoshi is apparently burned out to hell#and i was thinking. man. if i had to write AND illustrate a story for like ten years straight. because its my bread and butter#and there are other people depending on the story doing well to make money#it would 100% get to me. i would rather end it all lmao#which is why i think fanfic is so great#just writing a story that you want. that makes sense to you. that has elements you want. that is exactly as long as you want.#and there isnt even a possibility of really monetizing it so there is no drive to make is 'succeed' or make it as long as possible#this could be applied to just writing a 'regular' story also that is not intended for publishing#also kinda makes me think about h*ikyuu#i kinda do feel the timeskip and the ending were a bit rushed#but like. if it was me. i would have rushed it too lmao#after so many years of working on one thing and one thing only i would have been so done. just so done#and h*ikyuu ending to me wasnt even bad. it was good with good resolution of everything. with characters evolving and achieving their dreams#not necessarily volleyball related (like tenma)#the progress made realistic sense#but it did feel a bit rushed#anyway#fanfic and writing for yourself is great#and manga authors face way too much pressure from people dependent on them. from fans. even from society in general
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