#This is what I get for watching random Robron scenes in an attempt to distract myself from the endless Robron depression that is my life

[robronforever]

"If it looks like I'm going down for this... I couldn't do it Aaron. It would kill me."

- Robert Jacob Sugden

All I can think about now is what if Robert still feels this way. What if, alone in that prison he doesn't think he's going to survive and that is the reason he's shut Aaron out like this. Because he thinks that it will be easier for Aaron to "move on" now then to be holding on for however long Robert can survive and then lose him anyway. So, he sits there alone in a cell waiting for the end, praying that Aaron will eventually be okay without him. 😭

[bartsugsy]

I hope the use of Seal lyrics was intentional Lo (I mean I'm pretty sure it was lol) cos "my power my pleasure my pain" distracted me from the great meta (to be?) post you were making! But back on topic I feel you on all the unresolved shiz, I just don't think the show think anywhere near as deeply into it as us! I do think more effort is put into Robron (and Coira) then other couples which translates into longer story arcs, so there's still hope.. pleasure and pain... lol!

oh, yk i just can’t resist throwing nonsensical song lyrics into things 

the show definitely doesn’t think about this shit as deeply as we do because… well, they’ve got other characters to worry about and we’re all out here like HERE’S 200 WORDS OF META ON THE SIGN IN THE BACKGROUND OF A SCENE WHERE ROBERT AND AARON ARE MAKING OUT 

(i say we but that was me. i did that. I DID IT AND I STAND BY IT)

sometimes i do think though that… even if yes, ok, OK FINE, none of these scenes were made to withstand the level of in-depth scrutiny we put them under and no, i never needed to write a 3000 word essay on the confusing characterisation of rebecca white when she’s clearly, in the crudest terms, more plot device than representative of an understandable human and as such it’s all just sort of futile, but… sometimes, just sometimes, i think the bigger picture ideas aren’t actually necessarily off base

ok and i just got this ask from another anon, so hopefully neither of you mind, but i’m going to put this in here, because this ties in to the point i’m going to attempt to make (that’s really just me validating my inability to be succinct and my love of meta) lmao:

anonymous asked:

but i think - because its a soap - robert and aaron are never going to resolve any of their issues in a satisfying way. because if they were resolved and dealt with then the show wouldn’t be able to use those issues for drama. so i can’t really see their reunion addressing any of the january stuff tbh

on some level, i agree with you. i totally do. on another, broader-picture level, i think that… i think i’ve been surprised by the level of cohesiveness in the storytelling for aaron and robert - like, it’s not the most tightly constucted thing in the world by any means, and this is obviously coming out of me coming from the glee fandom, where we had literally no cohesiveness ever and so i’m probably just over-impressed by even the most marginal attempts to write a meaningfully constructed longer form story, but… but i think, given that it’s a soap and given how much content they need to produce and given the inconsistent treatment of a lot of the characters on the show, aaron and robert’s relationship does get a decent amount of care put into it, on the whole, and sometimes that’s visible in the storytelling - like sometimes, a scene will happen that just sort of… slots a lot of things into place and calls back to meta we’ve been writing the whole time and… idk. like, you really do just need to look at rebecca as a character and compare the writing for her over the past year with the writing for aaron and robert, who have much more consistent traits and motivations.  

i think this is why i like writing meta for this show. because sometimes there’s a pay off, where the show will specifically highlight things we’ve been talking about and examining and make them explicitly canon. it’s super satisfying. the heavy handedness works (for me) for this purpose. it’s like taking our meta and saying to everyone ‘oh hey, that thing you were reading into is exactly what we were going for’. and the general audience will do this as well - everyone will have an opinion on what’s happening beneath the surface of some stuff, it’s just that they might mention it off-hand to someone they’re watching the show with whereas we sit down and spend three hours typing up an argument to support it based entirely on how we’ve interpreted that last three years of canon and then use it to try and convince people to feel the same way lmaoooo. it’s awesome. but those bigger picture ideas that maybe aren’t called out specifically 

like… don’t get me wrong, i don’t believe in the idea that they’re going to call back specifically to the january argument and take a big, in-depth delve into why that specifically happened and why it was some sort of turning point that they ignored in favour of being together and how that ultimately went wrong… i can’t imagine that’s happening lmao, that’s absolutely what our meta is for (which is fine). like… i don’t see them calling back to the specifics in any meaningful way (at most we might get some dialogue parallels bc the show loves those, as we know lmao)

but like… ok, some of this is going to come back to how early on did the show know they were going to break aaron and robert up, in all honesty. we know that iain has been intending to get rid of the whites… probably since the time he started? going by the interviews he was giving at that time? we know rebecca was brought on with some sort of plan in place for her character (to get in between robron lmao). obviously we can sort of… like, chicken or the egg, what came first - lucy announcing she was pregnant and them realising that rob and aaron would have to get married quickly, or iain deciding to go max feeling exploitation and get two weddings out of robron? this is all random extrapolation on events we know, because we can’t pinpoint when it became clear to them that they were going to do a wedding, followed by a big break up, followed by a big reunion and culminating in another, ~~~~real (so to speak)~~ wedding. but at some point, that would have been firmly in their plans. 

the january argument -

ok. ok fuck it let’s meta the january argument even though i literally said i wasn’t going to and that i wanted to wait until they got back together idc i don’t listen to me she doesn’t know what’s up

the reason i love the january argument so much as a turning point within the larger overarching story they’ve been telling is because it works so well as this big flashing harbinger of doom that the boys both ignore - it’s built up specifically from problems they have been having since right before they got engaged 

and look, i wanna write meta about all the arguments they have firstly from the reunion until ssw and then from in between ssw to the january argument, because i think the stuff that takes place when rebecca is in the village is very pointedly building towards what ultimately happens in january

and i think it’s clever because when you watch it for the first time, the fact that aaron is ultimately driven to violence and puts kasim in hospital and then ultimately gets arrested is what you’re left thinking about - it totally draws attention away from the things aaron and robert are saying to one another and the way that their argument(s) echo previous fights they have had around rebecca and aaron not understanding rob’s bisexuality and rob’s tendency to lie and scheme and rob’s defensiveness around his schemes and how much he has changed and is trying to change vs how much aaron needs from him and just… the ways in which they’ve been slowly falling apart. 

(and ok at some point i will write my actual meta where i actually quote the dialogue instead of making vague references to it, although i usually feel like it’s a safe assumption to think that you guys know where i’m sort of pulling these ideas from when i talk about this shit - specifically, stuff i want to talk about includes the things aaron has said about rebecca and robert’s interactions with her, the moment robert talks about his scheme as something that is no longer about andy and absolutely about the money, aaron’s understanding of the robecca kiss, rob talking about how aaron can’t be happy and that he screws things up (which is horrible foreshadowing for kasim), rob yelling about aaron walking away from arguments and not recognising the change rob has made and the way that rob literally brushes his kiss with rebecca under the table, aaron literally saying that he doesn’t like the person he is around robert because of how things have played out with rebecca ec. etc.)

anyway, they just… i’ve fully written about this before, but the kasim stuff acts as a distraction both for robert and aaron - who, before aaron’s arrest, are having a tentative conversation where rob is gently pushing for them to still go to vegas to try and work things out and aaron is absolutely not convinced. after aaron gets arrested and then gets released, the next scene they have is aaron trying to give robert an easy out and robert point blank refusing - over the course of the three episodes, from aaron getting arrested to aaron giving the police a new statement, rob makes multiple references to fighting for their relationship even if aaron doesn’t think it’s a good idea - literally says that he’s not going to stop fighting for them, which is important but also sort of conveniently skims past the point that this argument didn’t occur in a vacuum and at no point have they faced up to what happened to bring them there between the two of them.

when, during the reveal, aaron says that rob was the one who pushed for this, you can sort of see where he’s coming from in a sense. i think aaron’s impending sentencing also made it harder for them to focus on what the real issue was (or rather, made it way easier to ignore, because they were too busy being terrified of losing one another) - but even then, rob decides to throw a surprise wedding because in canon we know that aaron is panicking about leaving robert and losing him completely - which is ultimately what happens, both exactly in the way aaron feared, but also not at all because rob’s motivation to cheat is, as we all know, entirely about aaron (or rather, about both rob’s feelings for aaron and rob’s horrible decision making/tendency towards lashing out impulsively when confronted with things he doesn’t know how to deal with like a normal human and fucking up his and other people’s lives in the process). aaron’s fears that rob would want someone else were unfounded but those fears also sort of led him to underestimate how much of a toll his getting sent to prison would have on robert and so, in the most perverse and unexpected way, his fears about what robert would do given rob’s behaviour up until that point, ended up being spot on.

all this is to make a point that the january argument played a massive role in robert and aaron getting married the first time round and also led them both down a road where they were distracted from what should have been the ultimate sign that things weren’t working and thus didn’t take the opportunity to fix it, rather let things get dangerously and disastrously out of control. i remember a lot of the meta around the time of the jan argument pointing out that things hadn’t been resolved and that they would be resolved at some point - i saw a lot of people talk about an immediate resolution. i think my instinct was that it would take them a little longer - maybe a month max, but that things would be worked out before the wedding. the fact that the wedding wasn’t legal was like this big red herring - it made us all believe that the only reason they’d have a second wedding would be to legalise things. but oh, oh no, no - little did we realise at that point that the whole first wedding was just another distraction (a very beautiful and romantic distraction, but a distraction nonetheless). the first wedding wasn’t a random break from the misery they’d had between that point and ssw, it was a symptom. once again, robert finding a way to push through their issues, to make it more about their love and the fact that they want to be together, and aaron following because that’s what he wanted too - neither of them wanted to deal head on with any of their shit.

uh, taking things right back to my original point of ‘how much of this will we actually see resolved when they get back together’ - i mean, it’s difficult to say? because on the one hand, it depends on what story the show wants to tell with them next and on the other, it depends whether they want to sort of just brush their issues under the carpet and pretend they never happened (worst case lmao). i think, though… i mean, i don’t know, i actually genuinely don’t want to speculate at all on what we’ll ultimately see because down that road leads madness and also an inevitability that we’ll all get it wrong, as we did before with both the jan argument and the purpose of the first wedding, for instance. i think, particularly because it is something i’m looking forward to, i also don’t want to put any expectations on it, really? i’d rather just watch it as open-mindedly as possible. which is also why i want to wait until after i watch it until i really write my meta around this break up, because then i can sort of shape my opinions about what we’ve been shown and where they’ve taken things. i don’t want to try and assume they’ll deal with x or they won’t deal with y or they’ll have them do this or whatever.

having said that!!! that doesn’t stop us from looking at what’s been done so far - the wedding, prison and the ons happened over six months ago now, so we’ve got enough distance from it to say that… look, rob and aaron had so much misery and so many problems from ssw onwards and they ended up going through a massive break up. so big-picture wise, it’s logical that all that misery was intentional. it wasn’t just fuelling the andy plot or whatever, it was there as a build up to ultimately splitting aaron and rob up and making it last a while (even if they hadn’t decided at that point to actually break them up - it’s chicken and egg, they would have known what they’d put them through up until that point and understood that this could realistically ultimately lead to a break up). the january argument wasn’t resolved because it couldn’t be, because that would be counter-productive to the eventual plan of separating them. the first wedding was rushed and not legal and the reason for it being held was literally LITERALLY bc aaron was afraid rob would cheat - because again, that wedding wasn’t going to be the one that lasted. there had to be problems there.

basically - yes we absolutely put more thought into this shit than the show does but that doesn’t necessarily mean that the thought we put into it is… wrong? or will lead to us not feeling satisfied? because the way that things have gone wrong with robron so far have led to a break up. it feels like a safe assumption that they’re not going to go through a massive break up again after they get back together at the beginning of 2018, so on some level somewhere, it seems like a safe assumption that we’re not going to have rob kissing his ex to get money, or aaron doing a miserable 6 week prison stint, or robert knocking someone up etc. basically, i guess what i’m saying is… the pain wasn’t for nothing? it was there to play a function in the story and while i doubt that aaron and rob are gonna get back together and the show is gonna be like ‘ok well their problems are fixed now so that’s nice’, they’re going to be writing with a different eventual goal to the one they’ve had this year?

this wasn’t even ur original question i just took this to an entirely different place lmao. sorry. i guess what i’m trying to say is i’m not particularly concerned about getting a final resolution on rob and aaron’s issues, but the writing for them will change as the direction of their story changes, so. the reason i’m waiting is more because i’m waiting for that direction to stop being “keep them apart” and start being “get them back on track and prove they can be together”. which is sort of… the next step? i guess? regardless of whether or not they have problems (and it’s a soap so u know they will), the story needs to shift from a break up to a big second wedding - the one that you assume will last more than a month (because they’re not stupid - they know there’s only so much you can wring out of a thing and they’re already pushing it). so… yeah. that’s what i mean when i talk about this particular storyline wrapping up.

i could just keep that last paragraph and delete the rest and you would still have your answer but im obviously not going to do that.

[notwithout-mymuse]

Fic: Misconceptions

Five times the Dingles expected the worst of Robert – and the one time none of them did.

All of these fit within canon, and a couple of parts will feature scenes or lines from actual episodes, but from a different perspective. Set at various points between Aaron’s abuse reveal and the Robron wedding. This got way longer than it was meant to be, oops.

Relationships: Robert & Aaron, Robert & various Dingles

Warnings: Implicit rape references (basically includes some Gordon/trial stuff), panic attacks, hints of self-harm, alcohol consumption, and discussion of sexual consent.

1.       Belle

Belle had been determined to be here, no matter how unpleasant it might be. Aaron deserved to know that he had people on his side, and they were going to send a message to that piece of scum today.

Today being the day of Gordon’s plea hearing, which finds Belle sat up in the courtroom gallery, next to her mum, and behind Chas and Aaron. A show of solidarity, and an attempt at reassuring Aaron, who looked so pale and nervous that Belle was slightly surprised that he hadn’t thrown up already.

The door to their right swings open just before the hearing starts. Robert swans in and all heads spin in his direction.

“Room for one more?” He asks.

Belle had heard Chas ask after his whereabouts before they left the pub, when she had wondered aloud whether he might have changed his mind about coming, but Belle hadn’t thought much about it. She certainly hadn’t expected him to show up.

It’s perhaps because of her surprise that she can’t resist asking:

“You’re cutting it a bit fine, aren’t ya?”

“Oh well, you know me, always like to make an entrance.” He replied coolly, not even looking in her direction.

Belle is ready to tell him to leave his smart mouth at the door, because Aaron doesn’t need that right now. But then Aaron himself is speaking, for the first time since they left the pub.

“I thought I told you not to come?” Aaron mutters, tilting his head towards Robert slightly.

“And since when did I listen to anything you say?” Robert replies, watching Aaron intently.

There’s a beat where Belle thinks Aaron might tell him to piss off. But instead he takes a deep breath and a little bit of the rigid tension in his shoulders, that Belle can practically feel radiating off him, seems to melt away. She catches the slightest glimpse of a smile on Chas’ face, before the judge bangs on the desk and calls the court to order, drawing the eyes of everyone present.

Belle wasn’t wrong about it being unpleasant. Although it was just a plea hearing, with no evidence being presented, hearing the crimes being presented in that way, so coldly and clinically, Aaron repeatedly flinching, while Gordon rolled around play-acting at being ill, it made Belle want to punch something (or preferably, someone).

Belle distracts herself by looking down in front of her. It’s why she sees it when it happens. The way Aaron starts trying to tear at the skin of his hand with his blunt nails. The way that Robert, his eyes constantly flickering to Aaron, catches him, and nudges his arm. Robert’s eyes are softer and more concerned than Belle has ever seen them, and she’s even more surprised when Aaron lets go and stops, without even the hint of an argument.

Belle also notices the way Robert’s face screws up in utter disgust whenever Gordon speaks. She clocks the harsh venom in his voice when he hisses about Gordon being an “Evil little…”. An evil little what? She doesn’t get to find out, but she’s pretty sure she would agree.

When the judge gives Gordon bail, Belle can’t help jumping to her feet alongside Chas and her mum, her voice adding to the cacophony of Dingle protests.

“You can’t… what about what he did to the car?

“He is a liar!”

But as the court guard comes to clear them from the room, Belle sees the one person who hasn’t jumped up to scream in Aaron’s defence. Robert is still seated, and isn’t even looking at the rest of the room, he only has eyes for Aaron.

“Look at me… it’s going to be ok.” Robert tells him, his voice low and soothing, his arm around Aaron’s shoulders where he sits, frozen apart from the tears making tracks down his face.

Robert gets moved along by the guard, but Belle sees him wait by the door for Aaron. When Chas and Lisa stride off to give a mouthful to the guard, to DS Wise, and to anyone else who will listen, Belle is left with the two men as Aaron emerges at last, scrubbing roughly at his wet cheeks with the sleeve of his jacket, and looking completely lost.

Before Belle can even think of anything helpful to say, Robert is gently guiding Aaron down the hall to the nearest bench and is encouraging him to sit. Robert squats down in front of him, rubbing Aaron’s forearm and muttering a constant stream of reassurances. She follows them, but hangs back, feeling vaguely like she’s intruding. She listens to Robert comforting Aaron, telling him that it doesn’t matter, that he isn’t going to let Gordon anywhere near him, that Gordon’s acting-up in court because he’s desperate now, because he knows that Aaron is strong enough to beat him.

It’s ten minutes before Robert stops talking and moves to sit beside Aaron, before Aaron’s tears stop and his hands stop shaking. Belle can still hear Chas shrieking at someone down the hall. Aaron seems to notice to, as he shakes his head and rolls his eyes, giving both Robert and Belle a weak smile.

“Give me a minute to sort her out will ya?” Aaron asks, standing and heading in the direction of his mum’s voice.

Belle feels like a spare part, just standing in silence, so she sits down on the bench next to Robert.

“Do you really think it’ll be alright?” Belle asks, even though she isn’t sure why she’s asking, or why she’s asking Robert of all people.

His eyes hold her gaze for a second, like he’s actually considering his response instead of just feeding her some meaningless platitude.

“Yeah, I do. If anyone can do this it’s Aaron” he tells her, his voice earnest and in that moment, she believes him completely. She also decides that maybe Robert Sugden’s gob isn’t all bad.

2.       Marlon

It’s late when Marlon rings the bell behind the bar for last orders. He couldn’t be more glad that the night was nearly over as he feels dead on his feet. Chas and Charity had left him in charge of the pub all night, insisting that their girls’ night out was more important than, you know, running their business. Vic had shot off the second they’d closed the kitchen for the evening, leaving him with a huge pile of washing-up that he would have to finish once he had shut the pub up for the night.

At least it had been a quiet evening, Marlon supposes, gazing round at the pub’s remaining five occupants as he dries a load of pint glasses. Fortunately, two of them are Aaron and Robert, so at least he doesn’t have to worry about encouraging them to go home. Marlon had been watching them for a while now, for lack of anything else to do. They were sat on opposite sides of a table in one of the booths, two half-finished pints and a couple of crumpled crisp packets on the table beside them, playing some complicated card game that Marlon hadn’t been able to fathom the rules to, even after watching them for the best part of an hour.

Liv had been playing with them until about half an hour ago, after which she had disappeared upstairs to take a shower. The three of them had been chatting and laughing, and judging by the unimpressed look on Aaron’s face, Marlon had been pretty sure that Liv and Robert were ganging up on him so that he would lose. Robert and Aaron were quieter now, the game seemingly just something to keep their hands occupied while they chatted back and forth across the table, their feet tangled together underneath. They seemed quietly content and domestic in a way that Marlon still wasn’t used to seeing.

Marlon’s gaze flicked over to the bar’s other three remaining occupants. Three young lads that Marlon had never seen before, certainly not the Woolpack’s typical type of patron. They were apparently on some sort of rural bar crawl, judging by their increasingly loud conversation, which mostly seemed to comprise of what they termed “lad banter”.

It’s only when Marlon has returned to the bar, after fetching another crate of wine from the cellar, that he notices something has shifted in the atmosphere of the room. The three lads are louder than ever, and Robert and Aaron’s focus has shifted from their quiet little bubble, and they’re both now watching the other group. The look on Robert’s face is dark and thunderous, like he wants to go and punch the blokes, for reasons that Marlon cannot fathom. He’d only left for five minutes, what on Earth had happened in that time? Aaron seems to be trying to talk Robert out of his mood, the three guys completely unaware of the glares in their direction. Marlon is about to stomp over and chew Robert out for causing trouble with paying customers when he hears what’s got him worked up in the first place.

“I’m serious mate, that peado bloke used to live here, the one who got banged up for messing about with a little boy, then he topped himself didn’t he?” One of the lads crows, almost seemingly amused, and Marlon only just manages to hold in a groan. It wasn’t the first time he had heard random strangers gossiping about Gordon in the pub, in the few weeks since he had been sentenced, but it is the first time it has happened with Aaron present.

Aaron’s hand over Robert’s clenched fist seems to be the only thing stopping the latter from flying off the handle completely and battering them, so Marlon decides it’s time to intervene. He makes quick work of shepherding the men from the pub with a random excuse about needing to close early for a stock take, even letting them take their glasses of drink with them, just to get rid of them quicker. It takes nearly ten minutes in the end, herding them off with the number of the Barton’s taxi in hand, and locking the external doors.

When Marlon returns things have changed again. Robert is sitting on the same side of the table as Aaron now, muttering something to his boyfriend who is curled over slightly. At first Marlon thinks Aaron is crying, then he realises that it’s more than that, his hands are scrabbling at the table in front of him, harsh rattling breaths ripping out of his chest, he’s panicking. Robert shoves the table away so that Aaron has more space, taking his hand and places it on his own chest.

“It’s ok Aaron, you’re fine, it’ll pass ok? Just breathe with me alright? Deep breath, in…out, that’s it…”

Marlon feels useless, hovering a couple of metres away, unsure what to do as Robert continues his efforts to calm his boyfriend, trying to get Aaron to match his breathing with his own, his thumb rubbing over Aaron’s hand.

“Is…Is there anything I can do to help?” Marlon asks, alarmed.

Robert’s head tilts up, like he’s only just remembered that Marlon is in the room, and he pauses for a second.

“Could ya get him a glass of water?” Robert asks.

“Yeah… yeah of course” Marlon dashes off to get the water, pleased to have something helpful to do.

When he returns, Aaron seems a bit better. His breathing more even, now he mostly just looks tired where he is resting his head on Robert’s shoulder.

Robert thanks him while Aaron lifts his head, takes the glass and starts sipping from it.

“Are you ok? Do you want me to, I dunno, call Chas or something?” Marlon asks.

“Nah, I’m fine, really. I just…wasn’t expecting it, that’s all” Aaron says, he sounds stronger now, more together, though still a little shaky.

“Really, I’m ok Marlon. Just need a good night’s sleep.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him” Robert adds. Aaron still has the energy to roll his eyes at Robert, although he doesn’t stop his boyfriend from wrapping an arm around his shoulder when they stand and head towards the back room of the pub.

Marlon leaves the washing-up until the morning in the end. Sometimes mundane things just don’t seem so important.

3.       Sam

Despite what people might say, and he knows what people say, Sam isn’t dumb. Ok, so he might not be bookish like Belle, or shrewd like Cain, or have street-smarts like Charity, but he’s good with people. Lisa told him that once, “perceptive” she had called it, “you know how to read people Sam”.

It’s how he knows, within seconds of Lisa answering the phone, that something is wrong. It’s why he has car keys in his hand before she’s ended the call, clearly flustered and worried.

“… was Chas on the phone… Aaron’s in hospital… him and Robert… some sort of accident.”

Sam hustles her out of the door, and gets them to the hospital in record time. By the time they arrive in the relative’s room - hot on Charity and Cain’s heels, Marlon not far behind – Chas and Liv are surrounded by worried Dingle faces, all demanding answers.

Chas’ voice shakes as she fills them in on what happened. How Aaron was driving and had spun off the road to avoid a massive pile-up. How the boys had ended up in the quarry, Aaron injured and trapped as the water level rose. Chas’ voice tails off at that, clearly upset.

Her horror is reflected in the faces of their surrounding family, Sam notices. For once they are all unable to speak. It’s so unlike his family, that Sam has to say something, unable to stand the awful silence and determined to find answers.

“Why didn’t the police and firemen look for him? And what was Robert doing when all this were happening ey? Saving ‘is own skin I bet.” Sam knows he’s clutching at straws, but he still doesn’t expect the sharp reply, cracking like an angry whip in the silence.

“It weren’t his fault, you idiot! Robert was the one that saved him.” It’s the first time Liv’s spoken since everyone else had arrived, but as she leans forward, silently daring him to contradict her, her eyes are as fiery as they are frightened.

Belle reaches an arm round Liv to try to pacify and comfort her, and when Sam’s gaze lands on Chas, she nods shakily, a confirmation.

“Where’s Robert now?” Charity asks.

“He’s with Aaron… wants to be there when he wakes up again.” Chas replies.

Chas continues to relay what had happened since she arrived, the feedback from the doctor on Aaron’s surgery, the scare he had given them when his heart stopped, the long wait for more information. They all lapse into silence again, broken only when Marlon leaves to retrieve coffee for everyone from the crappy vending machine at the end of the corridor.

Before he can return, Robert himself appears in the doorway, and everyone’s heads shoot up.

“Don’t worry, he’s fine, still sleeping. They just wanted me out of the way so they could run some tests.” Robert is quick to reassure them all, before slumping down in Marlon’s vacated chair.

Sam can’t help but notice how rough he looks. He’s all pale skin, rumpled clothes and red-rimmed eyes. He looks nothing at all like the strong, confident businessman Sam knows him as, and he feels a pang of guilt for jumping to conclusions before. Sam doesn’t need to be clever to know that the man in front of him is falling apart.

When the nurse comes in, about twenty minutes later, to tell them that they’ve finished Aaron’s tests and will let them all know when the results are back, Robert returns immediately to Aaron’s room, this time with Liv.

Chas watches Robert leave, with an odd look on her face.

“They’re getting married” Chas announces quietly to the family. “Him and Aaron” she clarifies, in response to the confused looks, nodding her head in the direction of the door that Robert had just exited.

Chas lets the initial wave of “what?”, “are you kidding?”, and “oh my god, really?” settle before she speaks again, explaining about Robert’s proposal gone wrong, about him showing her the ring, and Aaron’s response.

Sam stands up after a while, needing a walk to stretch his legs. He walks along the corridor, but finds himself hovering around the window to Aaron’s room, watching Robert and Liv sitting on chairs on either side of Aaron’s bed. Liv is resting her chin on her folded arms on the edge of the bed. Robert’s slumped forward, one hand smoothing Aaron’s bed sheet unnecessarily, his other hand curled around Aaron’s, the slightest glimpse of silver just visible in-between fingers and thumbs.

It’s only when Robert and Liv jump up, their faces breaking into huge smiles, that Sam realises Aaron has woken up. Liv steps back slightly to press the call button to alert the nurses, while Robert leans forward, meeting Aaron’s gaze, then placing the gentlest of kisses to Aaron’s forehead.

No, Sam might not be bookish, or shrewd, or street-smart, but he damn well knows love when he sees it, and right now it’s radiating from every single part of them.

4.       Cain

Cain swears to himself, that the next person to make any kind of noise is going to make friends with his fist. He’s had a long day at the garage, has a banging headache, and to top it all off he’d had another argument with Charity, which is why he’s found himself in his current predicament, tossing and turning on the sofa in the back room of the pub and getting increasingly pissed off.

First Noah had been banging around the room looking for his homework that’s due tomorrow, then Chas had started shouting up the stairs about Liv leaving her stuff for people to trip over. Cain had thought everyone was finally asleep in bed, when the back door had banged open noisily. Aaron and Robert’s muffled laughter drifting through the closed door, followed by a thump on the wall which only serves to annoy him more.

“Oops!”, Aaron giggles – honest to god giggles – seemingly the one to have bumped into the wall. Great, Cain thinks, he’s drunk.

“Careful” Robert warns him, laughter in his voice, but sounding much more in control than Aaron. “I told you that last round of shots was a bad idea!”

“Mmm fine. I’m not even… not even that drunk, just like tipsy, like a tiny little bit.” Aaron responds, slurring in a way that completely undermines his insistent words.

Cain is about to snort in denial, but Robert beats him to it.

“Yeah yeah mate, sure you are.”

“Well if I was drunk would I be able to do this?” Aaron retorts.

Cain isn’t sure what “this” is but the way Robert gasps and exclaims “Aaron!” gives him a few ideas and he cringes. There are some things a man just doesn’t need to know about his nephew.

“C’mon Robert. Let’s go upstairs… want you…want you to take me to bed, c’mon.”

Cain leaps off the sofa, his ear pressed to the door and hand on the door handle, ready to grab Robert by the scruff of the neck and chuck him out of the house because there’s no way he’s letting Robert take advantage of Aaron in his drunken state.

His anger, it turns out, is premature.

“Nope, no way, not happening! There’s no way I’m having sex with you tonight when you’re completely pissed.” Robert’s voice is still amused, but sterner now.

“Roooooob!” Aaron whines.

“No, I’m serious! The only thing you’re going upstairs for is to sleep this off.”

“Ok, I’m going….” Aaron’s voice is cut off by another, louder thump. This one followed by two pained groans.

This time, Cain does open the door and moves into the hall. He finds Robert and Aaron in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, Aaron still laughing, his arm wrapped around his Robert’s neck. It seemed like Robert had tried to help Aaron up the stairs, but the latter had lost his footing, bringing Robert crashing down with him.

“Oi, keep it down out here, some of us are tryin’ to sleep” Cain barks at them.

“Why you sleeping down ‘ere anyway, you in the dog house or summat?” Aaron shoots back grinning, clearly oblivious to the death glare on his uncle’s face.

“Aaand we’re going now” Robert says, steering Aaron upwards on the stairs again. “Sorry to disturb” Robert calls back to Cain over his shoulder, his hands on Aaron’s lower back to stop him falling again.

“Oi Sugden!” Cain calls at the last minute, causing Robert to look back over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised in question.

“Look after him yeah?”

“Yeah, always” Robert answers, before disappearing upstairs after Aaron.

And if the next morning Cain almost runs into Robert on the stairs as he heads down after his shower, the two of them sharing a knowing look over the tray that Robert is carrying upstairs, laden with a small mountain of buttered toast and two steaming mugs of tea – then no one else needs to know do they?

5.       Lisa

The winter air is biting when Lisa steps outside, the old door swinging shut behind her, trapping the warmth and merry laughter inside. But the freezing air is a welcome relief as the house had had far too many people crammed into such a small space, which combined with the heat from cooking Christmas lunch, has left Lisa with permanently red cheeks for hours. But she wouldn’t change it for anything, having the family round the table talking, laughing, joking and drinking far too much is what a Dingle Christmas is all about. It’s been a while since the family felt whole and complete – but Lisa tries not to think about that – it’s been such a good day and she doesn’t want to lose that warm feeling in her chest just yet.                                                                                                                    

Lisa had escaped from the house, leaving Belle and Chas to finish the drying up, with the excuse that the pigs needed putting away for the night. Which was true, but for a few minutes she is content to lean against the wall, watching a few flakes of settled snow slip from a tree branch as it shifts in the wind, listening to the distant shouts of an affectionate argument in the house behind her. The smell of woody smoke still lingers in the air, probably from where Zak and Sam had set up a fire inside a metal barrel round the side of the house, so that they could keep warm when they snuck outside for their traditional cigar while her back was turned.

It's not until she’s finished dealing with the pigs, and has rounded the house to check that the fire has settled enough to not be dangerous, that she sees them. Aaron and Robert. Lisa hadn’t realised they were still here, she had heard them leave the house about twenty minutes earlier, when she had been elbow-deep in turkey grease and fairy liquid. She had heard Chas shouting at them in her tipsy voice to mind the slippery pavements and had waved a soapy hand in the direction of the door without looking, assuming they would head straight home.

But evidently they didn’t as they’re both currently perched on the top of the waist high fence next to the barrel, backs to her, their faces half lit, half shadowed by the declining flames. They’re talking softly and neither of them seem to realise that she is there, the crackle of the wood logs louder than the crunch of her feet on the icy ground.

Of all the Dingle clan, Lisa was proud of the fact that she was probably the least judgemental of the lot when it came to who her family chose as their partners. Of course, she had heard plenty of stories about Robert over the years, had listened to many of Chas’ early rants about how he was no good for Aaron, about how he was trouble.

She had been quick to point out – to Chas and anyone else that would listen – that their family probably didn’t have much room to judge as they weren’t exactly a bunch of angels themselves. As far as Lisa was concerned, if Aaron was happy, it was fine by her. After the year Aaron had experience, no one deserved happiness more, in her opinion.

But still, Lisa had to admit that she had been surprised when Robert had turned up with Aaron and Liv shortly before lunch, the three of them in ridiculous festive jumpers and laden with presents. Aaron must have caught her surprise, because he’d pulled her aside shortly after, and asked her in an undertone if she minded having an extra person, to which she had patted him on the shoulder and reassured him that there was always plenty to go around.

It wasn’t that she was bothered, just surprised. Robert Sugden didn’t strike her as the sort of person to spend Christmas Day necking sickly-sweet snowballs in a silly paper-hat, and playing charades with his future in-laws. She had assumed that he would be too much of a, well... snob, for that. But that was exactly what Robert had done. He had thrown himself in wholeheartedly, had joined in with the games, returned the light-hearted banter, and even made a valiant attempt at keeping up with the Dingles’ Irish drinking habits.

So really it shouldn’t have come as a shock, the sight of Robert and Aaron huddled together in their winter coats and hats, their breaths rising simultaneously as clouds, twisting together in the cold air as they warmed their hands over the fire. But it still did. Lisa didn’t want to interrupt them, or make them think she was spying, but the truth was she was curious. She had never seen Aaron like this with anyone before. He seemed open, affectionate, and settled in a way that was brand new, and it suited him.

Lisa knew she wasn’t the only one who had been watching Robert throughout the day. She had seen the way Aaron’s eyes had lit up when he saw Robert laughing over a can of lager with Cain and Sam. She had seen his soft smile when Robert had kneeled down on the floor to help April construct her brand-new wooden train set. She’d noticed the way Aaron had drawn Robert back from the chaos for a little while, the two of them curled up on the sofa with Alfie, soft and completely lost in each other in a way that felt almost too intimate to watch.

Lisa is pulled from her thoughts by the sound of Aaron’s voice, clearer now the crackling noise was subsiding.

“…so, it was alright then?” he asks, unsure.

“Yeah, well I’ve eaten about a month’s worth of food in under 24 hours…” Robert replies, amusement colouring his voice, then suddenly more serious.

“…but yeah it was…really nice actually, a proper family Christmas and that. I don’t really get that anymore.” Robert shrugs as he says it, but can’t quite hide the emotion is his voice, not from Lisa, and certainly not from Aaron, who reaches for Robert, pulling him in so that Robert can rest his head on his shoulder.

“But we’re seeing Diane and Vic for Boxing Day lunch tomorrow, aren’t we?” Aaron asks.

“Yeah, ‘course… it’s just not really the same anymore you know? What with mum and dad gone and Andy… god knows where. It always just feels like there’s too much missing.”

Lisa wants to break her silence, to rush over and reassure Robert that he’ll always be welcome with them, because if there is one thing that Lisa cannot stand is anyone feeling cast-out or unwanted. But it seems that Aaron has the situation under control. He leans back slightly to press his lips to Robert’s cold-bitten cheek, before speaking again.

“I know it doesn’t make everything ok but… you’ll always have a place here with me, you know?” Aaron’s says, voice soft.

“I know.” Robert replies. Their eyes linger for a moment, like those words have some deeper meaning for them, before Aaron slips down from the fence.

“Come on, let’s go home.” He says, tugging Robert’s hand.

“Yeah, home.” Robert echoes, tangling their red-raw fingers together. The two starting the cold trek up the path towards the village, still oblivious to Lisa’s watchful gaze, before she turns towards home too.

Over the last year, after everything that had happened with Zak and Joanie, Lisa had felt herself becoming more and more disillusioned with the notion of true love, but as she turns back to watch Robert and Aaron disappear over the dark, snow-covered hill, their joined hands swinging in the space between them, she thinks maybe – just maybe – there is still something to believe in. If Aaron and Robert could find it again, then maybe she could too.

And she also thinks that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to add Robert to the list of people coming to their New Year’s fireworks party either.

+1

The room is stuffy, there’s cheap champagne and sandwich crusts littering the floor, the decorations are tacky. So basically, it’s a proper Dingle knees-up, and there isn’t an unhappy face in the room.

Charity’s yell of “They got wed!” is still echoing in everyone’s eardrums, party poppers flinging streamers among handfuls of confetti. Robert and Aaron are both grinning from ear to ear, and their happiness is infectious as they accept congratulations from their friends and family. Lisa is one of the first to wriggle through the crowd and congratulate them, pulling them both in for big hugs.

Zak hands Robert the welly, Cain and Marlon cheering in the background as Sam proudly announces to the whole pub that Robert is one of them now. Despite Robert’s protestations over the welly, there isn’t a single member of the Dingle family that believes he won’t do it. He’ll do it for Aaron, and they all know it.

When Chas tricks them into their first dance, Robert encourages Aaron to sway with him, not a hint of shame or embarrassment as he shows off his new husband for the world to see, at the wedding he had pulled together in under 24 hours. Their guests all beam with pride and love.

Belle doesn’t have as much luck getting Aaron to dance with her, he’s stubbornly content to prop up the bar with a beer in hand, surveying the scene in front of him. So instead she starts conferring with Sarah and Victoria about how many more wellies Robert would need to dance with them instead.

When Aaron finally ducks outside towards the end of the night, looking a bit overwhelmed, none of the Dingles make any moves to follow him. They let Robert follow instead, all of them confident that when it came to Aaron, Robert really was the best thing for him.